#and his silly impractical jet pack

[uglybumbo]

Just Paz trying to climb a mountain while carrying a god damn mountain on his back.

[moxfirefly]

Maybe a story or head canon list of Heisenberg with a daughter? Like father and daughter bonding. The daughter getting his ability with metal but is super sweet and playful. I have a lot of stuff to go with this, if you wanna message me about more of this go ahead :)

My time has come to unleash dad!Karl on y’all. Hope you don’t mind a headcanon list (it’s easier right now for me)

Listen for sure he’s gonna have some hang ups about being a dad and while he may not be the best camper at first, boy does he do a 180 when that kid is in his arms.

Karl isn’t a silly person by nature. Eccentric? Yes. Boastful? Absolutely. A showmen? You bet your ass he is. But being a dad for sure will unlock a part of him he probably never got to indulge in. Be playful and silly.

Yes he will stop whatever and play a round of I Spy. You wanna play some convoluted patty cake like game? He’ll listen, he’ll fuck up, he’ll learn it. Hide and Go Seek at the Dimitrescu castle? Fine it’s a wonderful opportunity to hopefully steal or break some of Alcina’s shit anyways.

That kid has basically unlocked his or hers own personal toy store. Karl will make ANYTHING and what he can’t make he’ll either get Duke on it or in the village. Big on gift giving, just wow, it’s Tuesday the baby deserves a new train set so what?

Forget about you having to hold that baby for more than 10 minutes. Karl hogs that kid as much as he hogs the blankets. He will create, design, fix etc all while that kid is on his lap or on his hip.

He’s got a confidant now. Do not be surprised to find him having a whole ass conversation with that kid. I’m talking running ideas and very difficult schematics by her or him.

Showing her some designs for soldats like “what if I put a jet pack on this son of a bitch? That would pretty stinking genius of me, huh?” And that baby will just be drooling and giggly all the way. He takes the giggles as a yes.

Wants to show off his kid but for sure is the parent that doesn’t want anyone to hold the kid.

Except Donna, he’s kinda soft on her, but it’s supervised and Angie needs to back the fuck up.

FYI he commissions Donna for the dolls.

He triple checks they are JUST dolls.

Lord almighty that kid is doomed when they grow up. Nobody and nothing is worthy of that kid. The first second some lad tries to talk to them, Karl’s gonna glaring daggers.

Goes without saying, he will teach her or him to fight. How to deliver a proper punch is important.

If the kid has inherited his powers oh looooooord

Takes her or him out the junk field and just goes ham on teaching them how to use their powers. Expect a fun evening of watch your child throw giant metal scraps across the front yard while dad celebrates like a fucking mad man.

Once this kid is old enough he teaches them the entire layout of the Factory. Safe zones, danger zones, emergency exits, secret exits. Haulers and Soldats are programmed now to defend this kid with everything they’ve got.

Afternoon naps 🥺

Karl’s sleep schedule is garbage but man does this kid know how to persuade him to slow the fuck down better than you ever could. So if baby falls a sleep on him he does everything to not wake baby which means he might as well get some shut eye.

He never thought he’d have a little rug rat so invested in wanting to brush and braid his hair so much!

And want to have so many imaginary tea parties

She colors his designs. Sturm is now pink by the looks of it and instead of propellors he has sun flowers, well alright but it’s impractical he thinks.

All the haulers have names (they are the slowest and often times enjoys watching them go about)

“Papa, Winston is stuck again and Geoffrey fell down” and Karl will blink and well ok, off to fix Winston and RIP Geoffrey it is.

Honestly that kid is the god damn sun for him. The brightest little spot in his life. From absolute fear to just pure fucking enchantment. It’s more cause to fight and get her out to really have a good life.

[artxyra]

So, me and @ThatWeirdPepperMint were wondering if you could do this request. Jason one day sneaks out and goes to a nearby ally where he finds Marinette not knowing that the fam was following. He asks Mari about buying mini guns and she gets them out of her heels, he ends up with gun-heels and wears them as as Red Hood. In that week all the fam got something from her. Tim got usb-nails. Dick got jetpack heels and retractable zip line watch. Damian got infi-purse. And Bruce got a tiara-shield.

Note: I totally did not look up Totally Spies gadgets for inspiration for some of the weapons.

It was Dick who suspected that something was up with Jason. The second oldest Wayne had been disappearing more often than usual only to return with a weapon he has never seen it in the stores. He tried to get information out of his brother about where he was but was only meet with the usual stream of threats or a careless shrug before disappearing for days on end.

The next to figure something was off, was Damian. Though for the youngest Wayne he had little care for his second oldest brother. Damian had run into Jason holding his newest weapon that was completely out of character for him. It was some kind of belt that had an expandable cable bungee. The belt did not go with his Red Hood outfit at the time, but before Damian had the chance to interrogate the male about the item, Jason had disappeared.

Then there was Tim and he had actually found out by going to get a late-night coffee and somehow ended up bumping into his predecessor, who was coming out of an alleyway with a bracelet in hand. At first, the coffee addict didn’t think much of until the idea that Jason had a secret lover pop into his brain. Instead of letting that idea down, he ended up entering a constantly dead-end investigation.

It was no shock that everyone else involved with the Wayne family's nightly activities was also intrigued by Jason’s newest additions of weapons. However, what shocked them all was when Stephanie (Steph) returned with Jason with a pair of diamond earrings. Of course, speculations began to grow among everyone, but when Spoiler ended up using the same new pair of earrings as a cutting tool they knew that whoever was making these weapons just so happened to include Steph as a client.

For half a year, they have tried to find this unique weapon dealer that Jason (and sometimes Steph) happily order from, only to be met with more dead ends. Fortunately for them, their search will soon come to an end.

Jason had broken his latest gadget, a wristwatch, on his latest mission. Dick managed to gather the immediate family (i.e. Tim, Damian, and Bruce) to follow the person behind the Red Hood anti-hero. However, Jason was streets smart. He zigged through the city; they had nearly lost him until the anti-hero had reached an alleyway just blocks away from crime alley. The family watch over the scene on the rooftops staying in the shadows.

Jason had entered from the alley’s opening and is immediately greeted by a shield of fog. The anti-hero doesn’t seem deterred from the scene before him.

“Arme chanceuse.” He states in the direction of the fog. Jason was no idiot; he knew his family is watching him, but he just couldn’t find any fucks to give at the moment.

The Batfam is shocked by the appearance of a female, looking no older than Damian. This female has long dark hair curled at the end with a mix of pink and red highlights. She was wearing in a two-piece dress, the top being a long sleeve laced with an intricate design as her skirt had a waist-high slit showcasing a pair of dark leggings and black heeled combat boots with pink and red shoestrings.

“You’re not alone, Jay-Jay.” She says crossing her arms and taking a sit in a chair that was behind a red and black table.

“Don’t care enough, Pixie. They’ve been trying to find this out for six months and at this moment, I don’t have any fucks to give. So, can you help?” Jason states causing the infamous weapon dealer to smirk.

“What you need.” She sasses back to her client.

“Miniguns the best you got.” He says giving her a knowing look.

The dealer sighs and puckers her lips. “I was saving these for Steph, but you apparently need them more.” The fog grows around the dealer and it fades away, in her hands are a pair of black heels.

“Uh, what the fuck?”

“Do you want the guns or not? The heels are the barrels, there is a safety mechanism outside the heels that you can access to minimize unwanted triggers. The magazine is on the shank. Not my best work but these combat heel boots can get the job done.” She explains gesturing to every area she talked about.

Jason picks up the heels and examines them. “Now I understand why these were meant for Steph. Thanks, Pixie, I’ll take good care of them.”

“You better!” She cries out before continuing with, “The amount of material and thinking to make them work took ages, Jay, ages!”

Jason chuckles before wishing his dealer a goodbye.

Before the Batfam could incept the two, the fog blocks their vision and suddenly it was just Jason alone in an alleyway looking the same expect the newest addition of a pair of heeled boots on his feet.

They did not see Jason again until the patrol as Red Hood.

“So, Hood, where did you get the heels? They’re looking pretty nice.” It was Nightwing that would ask first.

“Like you don’t know.” The anti-hero grunts and struts away from his oldest brother. Nightwing stares aghast and somewhat offended.

At first, the boys thought the heels were nothing but a bad joke but to see Red Hood in action, taking down each of his opponents, they knew this for real. Maybe, just maybe, they should talk to whoever this Pixie is that Jason gets his weapons from.

It was only a few nights later when the bat family corner Jason, place him in a dark room (tied up of course) and stood over him. Jason glares at his family and mentally thinks of ways to get rid of them all. The option of murder was high on his list of suggestions. 

“Who’s Pixie?” Dick’s voice pipes causing every muscle in Jason to just give up. Seriously all of this just to get information about his weapon dealer.

That night led to the family officially meeting the person Jason calls Pixie the next day.

Pixie stares at her favorite customer with an eyebrow raised and arms folded against her chest. The greetings were stale only met with grunts and an awkward smile from Dick.

“Hi, I’m Marinette, you don’t have to call me Pixie, but I have some rules when it comes to doing business with me. I don’t make standard weapons. I only deal with those who deserve it, and money is the least of my concerns though it is welcomed.” Immediately, they knew they had just entered a business. A business that Jason, and in extension Steph, has been familiar with for months.

She gives them the secret word that would “summon” her for business. She only deals at night and at various alleyways. They also found out that she has a life outside of all this and sometimes would have to cancel if that was the case Jason would tell them. Wrapping up this tremendous moment, she gives them a week to figure out what they would like before disappearing in the fog that brought her there.

Throughout the week, each of the bat members tried to convince Jason to give them Marinette’s current location, and then go to Steph when Jason wasn’t bothered to be around them. 

Tim went to Steph for Marinette's latest location. He ends up placing an order for a USB drive; what he got was beyond his coffee-addicted brain. 

“This USB nail is the perfect disguise for quick transfers, it works just like any USB out there and looks and feels like a fake nail. You can transfer up to 128 gigabits. Though be careful, the nail can break with an excessive amount of force.”

Since that day, Tim has been using the nails for hacking or work assignments. He begins to swear by them.

On multiple occasions, Tim swears he had seen Dick wearing Red Hood’s gun boots and a longer version of his nails on a couple of occasions. Dick denies it every time, but they all knew the truth. 

It took a while before Dick had come up with his ideal first weapon from Marinette. He wanted something grand and out of this world.

“You want jet pack heels and a zip line wristwatch,” Marinette states slowly trying to wrap her head around her newest order. It’s not something she isn’t used to, but the way he had explained it to her with this silly look on his face just creeped her out. “Okay.”

That night when Nightwing was on patrol, he was having a ball showcasing his new weapons. Batman had yelled at the male upon realizing that he was wearing something that was impractical. Nightwing flies away with his jet pack heels activated. Batman could only sigh and wonder how this even happened.

The next person to receive their Marinette original was Damian. The youngest Wayne had met with the weapon dealer in secret hoping that his family didn’t catch sight of him. He could only imagine the horror that would come with them finding out.

If it wasn’t for that fact that Marinette looked around Damian’s age, it looked like a drug-dealing going on as Damian was dressed in all black and a hood covering his face. Upon seeing him, Marinette managed to hold in her laughter.

“You want an infinity purse, should I even ask why?”

“It’s better for you not to know.”

Marinette accepts that answer and disappears into the fog. She comes out with a tote with Robin’s emblem in addition to her own. She hands the bag over to the Wayne and explains the limitations the bag carries. ��

It is said that Damian has pulled various weapons on different people when they make fun of the bag. Some make it out without a scratch while others don’t even speak of the incident anymore.

The most shocking of appearances came from Bruce Wayne, himself.  He had come alone to meet with Marinette. At first, she thought it was a gift for the girls or a really bad joke with some hidden scheme behind it. Once she thought of it, it wasn’t a bad idea.

“Are you sure? This could ruin your bad boy aesthetic.” Marinette says giving the tall man an out.

“Yes.” Short and simple. Marinette nods and disappears into the fog.

When she returns, in her hands is a solid black tiara along with it are diamonds in the shape of bats. Sliding it across the table Marinette begins to discuss the weapon. The tiara can turn into a shield with a twist of a diamond. Bruce graciously accepts the weapon before testing it out. Upon seeing it in its shield form, Bruce begins to wonder what age the dealer is and how can he get her to join the family officially.

After everyone in the bat family received weapons that aren’t usual apart of their list of gadgets the league members begin to question their sanity. They thought Bruce was joking when they saw him with the tiara, but once it dawned on them that he never jokes, it was Flash that went around screaming his head off.

“You can rule the world, Pixie,” Jason says joining the small female in the darkness as she watches the bad guys being taken down by her own weapons.

“Eh, we knew this day would come.” She says with a smile on her face.

“Damn, Pixie, you know B-man is already in the process of trying to adopt you. You fit all the Wayne requirements to being adopted.”

“I think he already has. He’s been visiting more and more often with Steph under the pretense of getting new weapons. Damian also comes and goes as he pleases, he’s like a cat.” Marinette says glancing at the second oldest Wayne.

“Welcome to the family, sis."

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[football-in-tuxedos]

Should You Heal Someone As Mercy?

Genji: You have a death wish? You think he's going to stick around when the enemy sees you? Fuck no, he's going run off, leaving you holding the bag and cursing.

Mcree: He's an old man who can't run very fast, and he's almost never too deep in enemy territory. Hop on down to help him and you'll be back in the skies before you know it.

Pharah: Bird wife is best wife, and anyway, as long as you two are in the sky, you'll be safe and away from the enemy. By the time she finishes saying "I need healing" you better be up there.

Reaper: Go kill someone to get your health back edgelord.

Soldier 76: By the time you get over there, he'll have popped his own healing ability, making you feel very silly. But he's usually away from the battle, so what the hell?

Sombra: I dunno, half the time she's super grateful, half the time she's already left by the time you get there, almost as if she's trolling yo-HEY!

Tracer: Between her speed and recall, she can either handle it herself or get back to you to get her healing, you ain't going to her.

Bastion: HAL-9000 here never moves, so you're gonna need to fix him. Unfortunately everyone is gunning for him, so you better have a way out.

Hanzo: That bow wielding jerk is usually dead before you get there, so you should generally not bother.

Junkrat: If he's someplace convenient, like hiding behind Reinhardt, sure. If not, it's usually not worth it.

Mei: Can't you just hide in your little ice bubble? What do you need me for?

Tobjorn: You need his turrets and his armor packs, so I guess it's polite to keep him alive. I don't have to like it though.

Widowmaker: If she's someplace you can easily get a Guardian Angel to, she's probably already dead.

D.Va: She goes through her health like she goes through Doritos, so you'd better. Don't expect gratitude though, and don't be surprised if 2 seconds after you brought her health back, she's already jetting off to lose it again.

Reinhardt: He's protecting you, help him out. At least until his shield breaks and he jets off, that's your cue to leave.

Roadhog: Very dangerous, and he's usually gonna heal himself before you get there. Plus that enemy Roadhog is always hooking your girlfriend, so he can go to hell.

Winston: If he wants to get healed, he can come back to you. I'm not following him into the thick of the enemy.

Zarya: She better shield you, but she's gonna die if you don't help her.

Ana: What's another healer doing on your team? Whatever, she's your stepmom and she can't heal herself so you should probably help her out.

Lucio: Still more healers? And can't he heal himself?

Symmetra: You want that teleporter don't you? Well you gotta earn it. Just don't expect me to follow you into the enemy.

Zenyatta: Healing him while he's got his harmony orb on you is impractical but hilarious.