#and his family told him to go to war against darrow so he did.

[windrunnered]

my next hot take is that cassius was a good person the whole time and was just trying to do right by the people he loved and were told care about him most in the world

[ichoosechoasandbeingqueer]

Faceless Memories And Broken Promises

This is Day 31 and the last day of Fili whumptober!

Warnings:  death, mentions of war

Word count: 1281

Fili is reunited with his father in the halls of Mahal, he just doesn't realize it at first.

Please refer to the warnings of this story.  If you go past this point you are consenting to reading this content.

Fili no longer remembered his fathers face. That was the revelation that had come to him on his sixtieth birthday.

He could not remember the colour of his eyes or the curve of his smile. He could not remember the way his father’s voice sounded as he sung him to sleep through the noise of a thunderstorm or the way his thick fingers felt combing through his hair, carefully braiding the golden strands away from his eyes.

He did remember the way his mother wept when he didn’t come home from the war, the candle they lit in his name, the hair that was cut in their mourning. So many memories with his name on their tongues, yet his face remained a blur to Fili.

Occasionally he would be stopped in the markets or in the tavern by the older darrow, or a gentle old dam who would tell him how much he looked like his father, that he held the same kind eyes or the strong stance. Every mirror or lake he would gaze into left him feeling empty and confused, wondering who was staring back at him in his reflection. He didn’t look like the rest of his family with dark hair and sharp features. His face was soft and his hair as bright as the sun that shone down upon the mountain, but all the stories he had ever heard about his father told him to have dark hair and a strong grin, neither things Fili carried.  

It was his mother that had first braided his mustache the way it hung now, her fingers mindlessly working to braid the strands the way her fingers had done so for years. He remembered the way she had froze, her eyes going wide and her nose scrunching up in pain as she gaze at her son, the braids of his father in his beard. He had held her sobbing frame for hours that day, yet neither one of them was strong enough to take out the braids.

On days he snuck away from his busy life to think, he would spend hours thinking, recalling, and racking his brains for a single image. Did they share the same dimples that appeared on his cheeks when he smiled? Did he grip his sword in the same hand his father had?

It was a question he could never answer. That is why he was so confused when he closed his eyes, a blinding white light encasing him, only to open them again met with a face that held his soft cheekbones, his crocked nose, and his mustache braids. The darrow’s eyes were different. They looked like Kili’s, a soft warm brown with thick black lashes that battered against his cheeks. He held Kili’s grin too, the cat like smirk so familiar to Fili, yet adorning the features of a stranger.

It took Fili a moment to understand, to remember the horrific death he had faced by his enemy’s hand, and he rushed to check his body for wounds.  

“Easy now little one, you are safe here. No one can hurt you again,”

Fili looked up at the voice, so gentle and deep it remined him of deepest cavern of the mountains where the darkness would cover you like a blanket and keep you safe. The stranger held a knowing glimmer in his eyes as he kneeled down to sit next to him.

“But- but Kili, uncle Throin?”

“I know, I know,” the dwarf hushed him, “I’m so sorry you had to live through such perils, that you did not have someone to protect you,”

“But- that’s my job. I’m meant to be the one to protect them,”

“So young, so brave,” he murmured to Fili, brushing his fingers against the braids on his crown. Curiously, Fili made no attempt to stop him, “You have served your kin honorably little one, but sometimes life can be cruel. Sometimes you can not protect the ones you love they way you want to,”

The smile that sat on his lips held sorrow as he pulled Fili closer.

“You know what that’s like?” Fili asked, “To try so hard yet still fail? To break the promises you made?”

“Aye, that is something I know all too well,”

The blond Durin sniffed and pulled his knees to his chest, “What did you promise? If you don’t mind me asking,”

The stranger thought for a moment, watching him carefully, “I promised the most beautiful dam in the world that I would see in her a few months. I never made it back to her,”

“Oh,” Fili frowned, his lips settling in a pout, “was she angry?”

“Angry? No. She was hurt and broken and lonely, but I don’t think she was ever angry at me. That fell onto someone else’s shoulders I’m afraid,”

“Who-”

“My son. My beautiful, crazy, brave son. He had to grow up without me, all because I broke my promise to him too,”

A small memory tugged at Fili’s mind.

The sounds of dwarves marching outside echoed through the mountain and the smell of a freshly polished blades hung in the wind like an omen. A small pebble with messy blond hair raced through the living room and wrapped himself around his father’s legs, his voice muffled through the fabric but begging him not to go.

“I took up my sword to join the fight,” the darrow continued, “and my son begged me to stay. He kicked and screamed and begged me not to go, so a made him a promise,”

The older darrow gave a chuckle, kneeling down and lifting his son’s jaw to look him in the eyes. They were kind and understanding, but still, they could not give the child what he sort. The war had started, and all would stand and fight for their king and ancestral home.

“I looked my son in the eyes and showed him my sword. I made a promise that when I got back, I would teach him how to use it. That next time, we would fight together,”

The child still held on to his father, his little hands gripping the fabric with all his might. His sniffles died down and he nodded weakly at his father’s promise. He had always wanted to wield a real sword after all, and if his adad promised he could use it, he would. His adad never broke a promise.

“Yet no matter how hard I fought, no matter how hard I tried, I didn’t come home. I never got to see my wife again and I never got to teach him how to use his swords. It was his uncle who had to teach him that, and I don’t think he ever forgave me for it,”

The little pebble was lifted into his mother’s arms, his hands waving franticly at his father who had joined the march. His eyes had become harsh, his lips set in a line, yet when he turned his head to glance back at his family, the softness shone through his brown eyes. He sent a sneaky wink and cat like grin back at them, one last promise that everything was going to be ok before he disappeared into the distance.

Fili looked the stranger in the face, and suddenly he could remember it all. Every wrinkle around his eyes when he grinned. The sound of his voice as he laughed. The smell of coal and steel one every one of his tunics.

Fili pulled the old darrow towards him and tucked his face into his neck, the tears running freely down his face.

“I missed you adad,”

“Aye little one, I missed you too,”

✨ ✨ ✨ ✨ 

See full 31 day whumptober Master List here

[whimsicallyreading]

For Rowaelin Month day 17

 “A sick day”

CW- PTSD, mentions of violence

Aelin considered herself a fortunate person.

She has survived genocide, her family's murders, losing loved ones, slavery, torture, and the Great War. Now she is a queen, a mother, a beloved Mate.

Her life had changed since those bleak days where she'd wondered if she would ever escape captivity—the days when Aelin didn't know if she would ever be free or find love again. Every morning she woke up curled into Rowan's side, and while she drank her morning tea, Aelin could count on her young daughter snuggling into her lap.

Yes, she was swamped most days, but that was normal for a queen. But even the moments between boring meetings brimmed with life and laughter. Rowan's hand on her thigh beneath the table. Fenrys' theatrics when conversation spiraled off-topic. And even the hardened lords thought it was hilarious when their three-year-old princess barged into councils and demanded her mother's attention.

Her family gathered for dinners at the end of every day. Aelin's little family, Fenrys, Emrys, and Malakai were the regular attendees. Aedion, Lysandra, Elide, and Lorcan joined when they were present. It was a time reserved for family only, and it was by far Aelin's favorite part of the day.

Aelin had a good life now. Her family was growing, and her country thrived beneath her rule.

So it always took her by surprise when a bad day came.

She had woken up fine. Delly had slammed open the chamber door with a gust of wind and squirmed herself between her and Rowan in the early morning. Usually, Aelin treasured the moments when her daughter joined them, but being pregnant again had taken a toll on her sleep.

Rowan tried to stop their child before she entirely collapsed onto Aelin but was a moment too slow. Delly flopped onto her mother's chest in a disarray of wrinkled nightgown and golden curls. Soft sobs were sputtering out of the tiny figure.

I'm sorry. Rowan whispered into her thoughts. He knew how hard pregnancy was on her and took his mate's comfort very seriously. It troubled him that their toddling daughter woke Aelin so abruptly.

Aelin blinks the sleep from her eyes and sends him a happy smile to assure him everything is fine.

"What's wrong, Dell?" Aelin soothes a hand up her baby's quaking form.

Adelia sniffles harder, unable to talk through the tears. She'd started to have bad dreams in recent weeks, but never had she been so inconsolable.

Aelin shifts as Adelia's arms tighten uncomfortably around her bump. Rowan sees her discomfort and reaches around to pull Dell to him instead, but it is met with resistance.

"No," Adelia finally wails. "Mama. I want Mama."

Rowan frowns. Adelia was a daddy's girl to the bone, and this was the first time she'd ever refused to go to him. Their daughter squeezes harder and burrows her face into Aelin's torso.

"Dell," Rowan leans next to her and whispers, a cool breeze brushing against her flushed cheek. "What's wrong little love?"

Adelia lifts her head, and Aelin's heart contracts painfully. Her cheeks are red and swollen from the intensity of her crying, little sobs still stumbling from her chest as Rowan settles her down enough to speak.

"Mama was gone. She was hurt, and she couldn't see me." Dell sniffles, her green eyes glassy. "Can you see me, Mama?"

Aelin tugs her daughter in closer, unable to stand the sight of her so sad. "Yes, of course, I can. I'm right here."

"You were in a box. She wouldn't let me see you," Adelia whimpers in a small voice. "She told me she was gonna keep you. I don't want you to go, Mama."

Aelin's face blanches. It wasn't possible. Her little baby couldn't possibly have seen what was coming to her mind. She looks at Rowan, and his face is pinched with worry.

"It's not real, Dell." Rowan uses a thumb to wipe the tears off her cheek.

Adelia flinches. "Uncle Ress told me it was. He told me Mama had got stollen and put into a box by the bad lady and that she should have stayed there."

Aelin's heart stops. Nausea crawls up her throat, and Rowan tugs Adelia away just in time for her to crawl out of bed and gag into a potted plant. The sickness grips Aelin, the shudders in her arms only growing worse with her daughter's mumbled cries.

"Daddy, I want Mama to stay here." Rowan hushes her and murmurs quiet reassurances. "Don't let her get stollen."

Ress had said that? In front of her daughter? Aelin tries to close her eyes against the visions creeping into her mind. The places her scars used to be ache, and her hands pulse with the remembered pain of reconstruction.

The baby in her womb squirms under its mother's stress, and Aelin throws up again.

She should have stayed there.

Cairn brings the hammer down onto her frail knees, the ringing of cracking bone splits the air.

She should have stayed there.

Aelin opens her eyes to endless darkness. Sweet smoke wafts through invisible holes and sends her to sleep- leaving her mind vulnerable to Maeve's manipulations.

She should have stayed there.

More and more memories swarm behind her eyelids until a pair of grounding arms wrap around her shoulders.

"Fireheart, you are home. You are safe. Can you breathe with me?" Rowan sighs loudly behind her shoulder, and Aelin tries to force her own breath out.

Breathing in is harder, but Rowan's scent fills her nose and loosens the binds on her lungs. Soon, Aelin is doing the exercises independently, and Rowan nuzzles his face into her neck. His hands snake under her bump and lift some of the pressure, easing more of her tension.

"There you are," Rowan kisses her cheek as Aelin comes back around. "Are you okay?"

Aelin shakes her head and sinks into his arms. "Can you take me back to bed?"

Her legs feel like jelly, and her stomach is weak from turning. Rowan lifts her with ease. His arms are warm, and he murmurs sweet nothings into her ear as he carries his mate back to their bed.

"Adelia?" Aelin looks around for their daughter.

Rowan pulls back the duvet and reveals the sleepy from nestled right into the middle of the pillows. "She fell back asleep quickly."

"I can't believe Ress told her those things," Aelin can feel a tear slipping down her face. Ress had never forgiven her for her days as Celaena. Darrow had grown to accept her, but Ress never warmed up to having Aelin as his queen despite her efforts.

She hadn't realized the extent his hatred went.

Rowan scowls as he lays Aelin down next to their daughter. "Ress is young and foolish. I have forgiven a lot of his hostility and ignored most of his juvenile antics, but Aelin, I can't forgive this."

"He should never have said those things to Dell." Ress's words linger in her head. She tried to do right by her title and live up to her parent's legacy. Aelin took a lot of pride in listening to the demands of her people and tending to their problems personally. But the odds of Ress being the only one to feel this way are slim. Did they wish she'd never returned? Was she arrogant to take the crown just because it was her inheritance? She'd never had the formal training as ruler and relied a lot on Rowan to help manage foreign affairs. Despite the loss of her fire, many still feared her and considered her a murderer. No matter how hard she tried, Aelin's history as Adarlan's Assassin proceeded her.

Tears burn Aelin's eyes, and Rowan's scowl deepens. "He should have never spoken of you like that at all."

Aelin shakes her head, "It's his right to think what he wants. Maybe he has a point."

"No." Rowan growls, and Dell flinches in her sleep. Taking a deep breath, Rowan softens his voice. "He's wrong, Aelin. Ress was wrong to scare Dell, and he has no right to demean everything you've sacrificed. You've suffered for your people."

"I closed the lock because I had to Rowan," Aelin argues. "That doesn't automatically make me a good queen. What if I'm failing?"

Rowan pulls their duvet up to Aelin's chin, and Dell instinctively snuggles to her mother's side. Her daughter was a leach for warmth, and Aelin could feel her remaining flames writhing in her veins agitated.

"You are a wonderful ruler, Fireheart." Rowan bends down and kisses her lips reverently. "I've met my fair share of emperors, kings, and queens. None of them have given up so much to better the lives of their people. They care for you in return."

Rowan steps away from the bed, and Aelin makes a displeased noise. "Where are you going so early in the morning."

"I'm awake now. I feel like a flight through Oakwald. Go to sleep, and when you wake up, I'll bring my females breakfast," Rowan pulls on a plain white tunic. "Sleep, love. You both need your rest."

Rowan can read her too well. Aelin can feel her eyes drooping despite how much she wants to deny it. "Very well, but there better be tea and pastries."

As Aelin drifts back to sleep, she swears that a mischievous smile passes across her mate's face.

~~~

"Aelin," Maeve twirls a lock of blonde hair in her fingers. "Where are the keys?"

Cairn twists the blade in her thigh again, and Aelin screams, "screw yourself."

Aelin writhes beneath the pain and the dark queen's gaze. Her torturer goes to twist the blade again, but Maeve holds up a hand. "Wait. There is a smarter way to go about this."

"I won't tell you anything," Aelin gasps, the blood seeping from her thigh pools onto the table. "There is nothing you can do."

"Not even to spare the princess?" Maeve smiles as the cell door opens. Connall walks into the room, a squirming girl in his arms.

"Let me go," the girl screams, and the air in the room turns frigid. Her blonde hair whips around as she twists and fights. The little girl's head turns, and she freezes when she catches sight of Aelin. "Mama?"

"Adelia?" Aelin asks, confused. "You can't be here. You aren't supposed to be here." With renewed energy, Aelin thrashes against her bonds and bares her teeth at Maeve.

Maeve takes Adelia from Connall and strokes her hair. "Such a pretty one."

"This isn't real," Aelin hisses. "I wasn't pregnant when you took me. Adelia was born in Terresan."

Maeve hums a sympathetic note, "It seems you're confused." Aelin fights as the dark queen sits with a frozen Adelia in her lap. "Begin again, Cairn."

A hot iron is lain against Aelin's neck, and Adelia's screams rattle the stone chamber.

~~~

Aelin wakes with a gasp. Her chest is seizing in uncontrollable fits, and little hands cup the sides of her face.

"Mama?" Adelia's concerned face hovers over Aelin's. "Why are you crying?"

Relief washes over her at the sight of her daughter, safe and sound. She tries to take deeper breaths, but her body fights against her. The baby in her womb squirms uncomfortably. Aelin feels guilt that they are so subject to her moods. She tries to open her mouth to speak, consol her frightened daughter, but Aelin can't get any words out.

"Daddy!" Dell screams, frightened tears gathering in the corner of her eyes.

Rowan bursts through the door, "Dell?"

Adelia sniffles and kisses Aelin's face sadly, "Daddy, what's wrong with Mama?"

Aelin grabs at her chest, trying to ease the tightness there. She was scaring her daughter. What kind of mother would do that? Rowan sits beside her, and a cool wind goes up her nose and fills her lungs.

"Fireheart," Rowan lifts Adelia and sits beside her. "Is this a sick day?"

It was the code they'd come up with for the days when the past came back to haunt them. When the turmoil in their mind forces their bodies to rebel, and they can't seem to put on their usual facades. It used to shame Aelin, the days she couldn't rise from bed and do her duty. But her mate's unwavering love soon cracked that lie and eased her burden. Rowan had convincing arguments. Aelin's people needed their queen at her best, and on sick days, she wasn't able to give that to them. Their court was strong. They wouldn't allow Terresan to fall while she recovered. Aelin deserved time to heal.

Rowan must have been able to tell that she wouldn't be able to settle herself this time as his winds continued their push and pull in her chest. "Yes," she rasps dejectedly.

Dell buries her face into Rowan's shoulder. Her mate rests a hand on the side of her face and soothes her cheek. "To whatever end, Aelin. We will get through this just as we do everything else."

Rowan kisses the side of Dell's face. "Little love, do you think you can go to the kitchens and have someone bring Mama tea?"

That fae instinct to fuss rears its head in their child. Adelia perks up at the opportunity to do something useful. "Yes!"

Rowan sets her on the floor, and she takes off in a blur of untamed hair and swishing skirts. They wince as a gust of wind slams the doors of their chambers against the wall.

"She's a handful," Rowan talks, aware of the soothing effect his voice has on her. "But we always knew our children would be. I can't wait to see what kind of chaos our son brings into our lives."

Aelin wraps her arms around him as the remnants of her dreams finally fade away. "You think it's a boy?"

"I know so," Rowan pinches her side, and Aelin smiles. He'd also been confident that their first child would be a girl. His smugness after Adelia's birth was unbearable.

"Rowan," Aelin whispers. "Can we just lay here today?"

"I could never deny you anything," Rowan leans against their headboard and kicks off his shoes. "You don't need to ask, Aelin. It's okay to take time for yourself."

"What if I'm just proving Ress right?" The insecurity slips from her lips before she can stop them. "What if there is someone more capable?"

"Ress won't be a problem anymore," Rowan rests a hand against her bump, and the baby withing kicks at it, bringing a smile to his face.

Aelin narrows her eyes, "What have you done?"

"Nothing that anyone will blame me for," Rowan assures. "He would be in a lot more trouble if the rest of the court learned what he said in front of Dell. Ress should be grateful I didn't do a lot worse."

Aelin sighs, "I don't understand why I can't just let it all go. Why do I allow myself to be so haunted?"

"It's not that simple," Rowan shakes his head. "I'm hundreds of years old, and no matter how many years pass, there are things from my past that haven't healed. The mind is different from the body, and sometimes it takes longer for it to recover. There is nothing wrong with that. You gave up everything for the people you loved."

"Because I had to," Aelin contradicts.

A hardness comes over Rowan, "because no one else could."

Rowan rolls over her body into a plank and looks deep into her eyes. "No one else that day would have made the same sacrifices out of love. Not even me. I was too selfish to let you go. You gave up everything, and by the strength in your soul, you came home to me. In all my decades, I have never met someone so remarkable, and I never will again. Take as many years as you need to recover, Aelin. This world owes a debt to you, and I will make sure it pays. You deserve every happiness."

His hand threads through one of hers and drags it up to rest on the bump between them.

Happiness.

Dell darts back into their room, a cup of tea sloshing in her hands as she runs. "Daddy, I put extra sugar in it. Uncle Fen is coming with more cups, but I made this one special."

Rowan pulls away from her, and the laughter on his face is contagious.  

Aelin smiles and accepts the tea from Dell's hands. She even manages a few sips without cringing from the sweetness. Fenrys follows behind her shortly and sets a fresh cup covertly on her bedside table.

There may be hard days, Aelin realizes as her family gathers around her, but the love they showed her every day made it all worth it.

[catherdrashepard]

Atlas au Raa

So, I finished Dark Age not that long ago and it came with so many brand new questions. And so many thoughts about the characters. But, as the title suggests, the character who has been at the forefront of my mind is Atlas au Raa. There’s just so little we know about him but there’s pieces there that I think just need to be put together. It will in no way reveal the full puzzle that is Mr. au Raa but I do hope that it can give some idea as to what he’s about. Spoilers ahead. This post is very long and a but rambly, apologies in advance.

What DO we know about Atlas au Raa? Shout out to @hyena-frog for helping me with this part. (Read: pretty much doing this part for me.) He’s a Rim Gold and brother to Romulus au Raa. He grew up in Octavia's court as a ward because she required each Rim family to send a kid to her as a hostage to prevent another rebellion. Apparently he was a favored student of hers. He mostly stuck to himself there but loved the library. Octavia forced him to have a child with Aja (Ajax, AKA the Core’s Storm Knight.) Atlas himself is the Fear Knight. He was best friends with Lysander’s parents, Brutus and Anastasia and, at some point after they died, he was sent to the Kuiper Belt to supposedly deal with the Ascomanni. Although, we’re pretty sure Octavia sent him there in order to eliminate him. He tortures people in order to kill enemies psychologically, preventing further deaths. He also controls Volsung and Xenophon. There is also the implication that he views the Rim as enemies and is more loyal to the Core. He makes meditation totems out of those who make him question his prejudices. Currently he has totems of (that we know of): Daedre, a Red woman. And a WIP Darrow.

The whole “question his prejudices” thing is really Interesting to me. Golds are taught that they are at the top, that they are the pinnacle of humanity (which they are but....that’s only because they MADE it that way) which definitely gives them some biases against the other Colors. I haven’t quite puzzled out if he counts these people as exceptions or if he realised that Color isn’t indicative to someone’s ability and he needs to remember to judge them based on individual ability. My money’s on the latter tbh because he doesn’t seem like the type of person to assume everyone is going to fit into the place they were assigned. As @hyena-frog beautifully put “He's learned not to let his biases blind him to how dangerous even LowColors can be.” But you know who doesn’t have the same critical thinking skills as Atlas? Lysander.

There’s also the question of his motivations, and what exactly he uses the Fear Knight persona for. Something specific that’s been nagging at me is the story about the Ascomanni that Pax told to Ephraim. I already mentioned it briefly in the first paragraph but I’d like to expand on why I think he was involved in what happened with the Ascomanni.

First, I’d like to go through the timeline. From what I got from the Wiki, some Obsidians escaped to the Kuiper Belt around Late 3rd Century PCE (Post Conquering Era) and approximately 736 years later, Atlas au Raa was banished to the Kuiper Belt by Octavia au Lune. 11 years after that in 747 PCE, Atlas returned to the Core to allegedly help fight against the Rising. In 754 PCE, 7 years after Atlas’ return, the Ascomanni attack the Pandora over Mars. Darrow enters the Institute 2 years prior to Atlas’ banishment. The majority of the first trilogy happens while Atlas is in the Kuiper Belt, including the entirety of Morning Star. So Atlas returns sometime in between the end of Morning Star and the beginning of Iron Gold. I’m not really finding any answers on how long it might have take Atlas to travel to the Kuiper Belt. Pardon some weird math for a second. Based on the Wiki: “the novels depict travel time between planets taking several weeks and often two or three months without layovers...” For simplicity’s sake, I’m going to assume it takes about 3 months to get from one planet to the next. I’m sure it will vary depending on distance between planets but...3 months is a good average. I’m also going to include the Asteroid Belt between Mars and Jupiter. If Atlas was travelling from Luna to the Kuiper Belt, assuming he made no stops in between, my guess is it would have taken him probably about 2 years to get there. Theoretically then, Atlas would have spent 7 years in the Kuiper Belt doing whatever he was doing.

Something else that I’ve been thinking about is why Atlas joined the Core Golds and why Octavia appointed him as the Fear Knight. I don’t believe for a second that it would’ve been to foster peace between the Rim and Core Golds. Atlas’ parents were most likely alive during the First Moon Lord Rebellion considering their oldest child was born 9 years after it took place. We don’t really know a lot about Atlas’ parents but we have gotten little bits of information that I’ll do my best to analyse. Revus au Raa, Atlas’ father was said to be involved in the death of Lysander’s parents so that puts his death to sometime after 739 PCE and I believe before 742 PCE. I am not the cultural anthropologist that my sister, @saiikavon is so I got her opinion on Atlus’ potential motives for joining the Core. Her thoughts are that Atlas joined because he wants to understand the Core. The Rim Golds believe the Core is “barbaric and has corrupted itself with a sense of entitlement...” so it’s safe to say they have heavy prejudice against them. My sister mentioned that based on Atlas’ totems, he seems to be the type who would question the prejudices the Rim has against the Core and prefer to do his own research in person. From what little I know about Revus au Raa, I doubt he would have approved of his son’s choice.

Since I don’t know exactly when Atlas became the Fear Knight, I have to make guesses on which events he was on the Core for. I think it’s entirely possible that he was present for Eo’s song and her death. He also wasn’t sent to the Kuiper Belt until a year after Darrow finished at the Institute so I don’t think it’s farfetched to think that he witnessed all of what happened with that. He was also friends with Lysander’s parents, one of which who was planning a coup against Octavia. As we know, Lysander’s parents were killed because of this plan and, if Atlas was in on it as well, that could explain why he was sent to the Kuiper Belt. Octavia obviously didn’t want him to return from his exile, but she couldn’t outright kill him because that might have started a war between the Core and the Rim. And I don’t think Revus would have wanted to risk a war either had his son been able to succeed in the coup. Which would explain why he became involved in the death of Lysander’s parents and why he allowed his son to be sent away. Revus was then killed which I suppose could’ve been Octavia tying up loose ends.

This finally brings us to the Ascomanni. 736-738 (to account for Atlas’ travel time) years is a long time to be isolated in and beyond an asteroid belt. My guess is that they were incredibly far behind in technology until Atlas showed up. If we consider the above paragraph as canon, I suspect Atlas would have tried to recruit the Ascomanni to help him overthrow Octavia. If we take account the 3-4 years that it probably took for Atlas to reach the Kuiper belt, he spent about 7-8 years with the Ascomanni. We can only speculate (until Pierce Brown maybe tells us please) as to what happened between them but I feel like it’s safe to say that Atlas helped the Ascomanni obtain at least some of the technology they used during the attack on the Pandora. Also, because the Ascomanni didn’t arrive until 7 years after Atlas did, he had plenty of time to make plans and recruit Xenophon.

The only thing is, I think Atlas’ plans must have changed during that time, at least to some degree. In one of the previous paragraphs, I mentioned that Atlas returned to the Core sometime after the end of Morning Star. I’m sure that on his journey back, he learned that Octavia was killed and that Lysander was taken away by Cassius. Whether or not he knows WHO Cassius is is unknown. I think it’s possible depending on how closely he followed the events at the Institute. But as Cassius trained with Aja in 740, Atlas probably didn’t have a close relationship with him or know him all that well. This makes me think that it’s possible that Atlas assumed (like most people now that I think about it) that Lysander was dead.

Where does this leave Atlas then? Octavia is dead, Lysander is also presumed dead, and the Core has been taken over by a new group. I’m reluctant to say that he is entirely for restoring the Core back to how it was, but I imagine that he sees the Rising (and defeating the Rising) as a way to reshape the Core to be what he thinks it should be. I feel like his motives are similar to Lysander’s in that he wants to fix what he thought was broken about the Core. Although, Lysander’s (stupid) opinions on what’s broken and Atlas’ are probably different.

Anyway, I don’t really feel like I answered any questions about our beloved(?) Fear Knight but here are my thoughts. I really hope we get more of him in the next book.

[hyena-frog]

Makes me so sad to think about how Cassius raised Lysander for 10 YEARS and came to love him like a brother and likely put a ton of effort into being a decent role model only for Lysander to turn around and become exactly like Octavia..... like can you imagine what must be going through Cassius’ head when he flies over Lysander at the end of DA.. :( seeing the kid he raised to adulthood become a monster.. I just... ugh. It tears me up inside

Hoo boy, I hope you’re prepared for the essay I’m about to write.

Genuinely, I think about this all the time. Cassius and Lysander have one of the most complex, tragic relationships the second trilogy has to offer. I hated Cassius so much after Golden Son but now he’s one of my favorite characters. I would really love it if he is the new POV Pierce Brown promised. In the second trilogy, Cassius has been exclusively filtered through Lysander’s POV, so I’m dying to know his own thoughts on everything that has happened. (But I would also like a Volga POV for the Obsidian story and maybe Diomedes POV for the Rim perspective. I’m torn.) I just want Cassius to have a happy ending. And I hate Lysander, but I would really like for him to see eye to eye with Cassius at least once before he is horribly, painfully, rightfully murdered.

Now, the thing is, Cassius didn’t come to love Lysander as a brother over time, he already loved him when he decided to become his guardian and mentor. It bugged me that, at the end of Morning Star, it didn’t feel like Cassius’ decision to take in Lysander was justified enough. All we really got out of him was that Lysander reminded him of Julian. Pretty flimsy. Then Iron Gold came along and blessed us with a flashback to when they first met. Little Lysander wasn’t too impressed with Cassius (he wasn’t exactly as respectable post Red Rising as he is now) but Cassius quickly went from calling Lysander an “eerie little creature” to declaring “I’ve decided to like you, little moon boy.” From that moment, Cassius truly cared for Lysander. Reading that flashback again after Dark Age makes me so emotional.

Lysander has this complex about being Julian’s replacement, that Cassius doesn’t love him so much as he loves the shadow of Julian he sees in him. And he’s justified, in a way, because Cassius does slip up and call him Julian sometimes, but it’s usually when he’s delirious from pain and not thinking clearly. Lysander completely misses the fact that Cassius does love him. I guess he doesn’t have much experience recognizing when he’s genuinely cared for, because why would he, but there is plenty of evidence of Cassius’ true feelings.

For example, Cassius sold most of his remaining family possessions to keep them afloat on the Archimedes. Now, Cassius isn’t strapped for cash by any means but the fact he cares for Lysander (and Pytha) enough to sell many of the last reminders of his dead family that he owns, is very telling. But Lysander doesn’t think about that. He acknowledges that it happened but doesn’t consider the deeper, emotional meaning behind that action.

Another example is Cassius opening up to Lysander about the last time he ever saw his father. How he disappointed Tiberius but finally regained his respect, only for the entire Bellona family to be slaughtered shortly after that reconciliation. That was a sign that he loves and trusts Lysander enough to be vulnerable with him. He never told that story to anyone else, as far as we know. He believed he was going to die in the Bleeding Place and wanted that memory of his father to live on in Lysander. The fact that Lysander is blind to how Cassius genuinely loves him, even now, is tragic.

You’re right, Cassius did try to be a good role model and pass on good morals. I think the scene in Dark Age, where Pytha confesses that Cassius forbade her from revealing to Lysander that she is actually a soldier and not a disgraced commercial pilot, as he was lead to believe, was very telling. Cassius attempted to show Lysander life outside of politics and war. He tried to show him that all Colors are equals deserving of respect. Cassius was devastated when Lysander chose to save Seraphina over the many mid- and low-color prisoners on the Vindabona. He was horrified that Lysander chose “quality” of life saved over quantity. This coming from Cassius, who compared Pinks to animals in Red Rising. Cassius has learned and changed a lot since the first book and he tried to pass those lessons onto Lysander. But it didn’t stick. Not even after 10 years of teaching.

Unfortunately, his teachings were tainted by his bad coping mechanisms for his personal demons. His alcoholism, his continued pining for Virginia, combined with his betrayal of Octavia and involvement in Aja's brutal murder, gave Lysander enough excuses to never fully embrace his lessons. While Lysander did love Cassius, there was always some flaw or another in his teacher that allowed him to comfortably distance himself from the lessons that diverged from Octavia’s teachings. To be honest, Cassius had no business taking on a ward while he was so torn up inside. Keeping Lysander isolated in a tin can in the middle of space for 10 years, instead of living among diverse people, didn’t do him any favors either. Frankly, Cassius missed a lot of red flags. A big one is the fact Lysander carved Lux ex tenebris, the Lune family motto, into the ceiling of his room on the Archimedes, where he could stare up at it every night. Yikes.

This dissonance in Lysander’s thinking is what lead to his betrayal in the Bleeding Place. Yes, Lysander loves Cassius and wanted to save his life rather than see him die at the hands of people who don’t respect him. But he also genuinely believes in the inherent hierarchy of Octavia’s teachings, that the “true order” is for Cassius to follow him. If Cassius lives, if he can convince him that his rightful place is to follow Lysander, things can finally be right in the worlds. Cassius failed to express his feelings in a way Lysander can comprehend, so he felt he was just a replacement for Julian. Lysander can dismiss Cassius’ love as love for his dead twin, and in turn, he can dismiss his claim to believe in the inherent equality of humankind as guilt and justification for killing his Sovereign. Cassius was unable to truly see how badly he failed until he was betrayed.

Since Cassius was absent for most of the plot following his “death” it’s difficult to concretely say what he’s been thinking since then. But I’ve been thinking a lot about him, so here is my conjecture. Take it with a grain of salt.

That moment you mention, when Cassius flies overhead, he deliberately retracted his helmet for a brief moment of eye contact with Lysander, so he would know exactly who rescued Darrow... Shivers. So much left unsaid. I imagine Cassius was thinking a lot of things in that moment. On the one hand, some pettiness and anger at being betrayed: “I lived bitch, I rescued Darrow, this is where my loyalties lie.” But there was also probably a mixture of shock and guilt at knowing what Lysander has done, at who he’s sided with and enabled, but also at seeing evidence of physical suffering in Lysander's burn scar and blind eye. Cassius loved Lysander, he was his guardian for 10 years, so he would hate to see him hurt. I think he would feel responsible for Lysander’s actions on some level, even if he logically understands that he’s an adult who makes his own choices.

Regardless, Cassius probably blames himself on some level. That’s what I think anyway. He tried his best to teach this kid good morals for an entire decade only for him to cling to the ideals his grandmother taught him. That has to sting. It’s probably also embarrassing, to a degree. Cassius made this grand promise to Darrow that he’d raise Lysander right, that Sevro was wrong to suggest they should have just killed him when he was little. Now Cassius’ failure to make good on that promise has been advertised to the whole Solar System through Lysander’s actions on Mercury. Surely Cassius feels responsible.

Cassius had a lot of time to think during his long return trip to the Core. About what happened with Lysander in the Rim, about his lingering feelings for Virginia, about his place in the Republic, and about what he really considers the right thing to do. Cassius can be intensely empathetic when he allows himself to be. For example, in Morning Star, he managed to really sympathize with Darrow’s life when they were drinking whiskey together. I’m willing to bet he spent that long return journey considering Lysander’s perspective with a clear head, after spending so many years lost in the haze of his own sorrows. Now that he is out of that bad mental place, he is likely able to see where he made mistakes in how he raised Lysander.

It will make for an interesting confrontation between Cassius and Darrow, who is thoroughly, understandably, done with Lysander, when the time comes to kill him. Cassius knows the danger Lysander poses and probably won’t argue against killing him this time, but I do think he would resist a little and at least try to find an alternative solution.

Lastly, I just want to say this, since it’s sort of relevant: This fandom tends to agree that Sevro should have just killed Lysander as a child, but if I’m being honest, I don’t agree. Kill Lysander now, as an adult, by all means, but as a kid he hadn’t done anything wrong yet, even if he was a little creepy. Darrow was right to give him the chance to live in peace. Too bad he ultimately didn’t take it. I especially don’t think Cassius would agree killing Lysander as a kid was the right choice, even now. He is traumatized by the sudden loss of most of his family, including little kids, so I don’t think he’d ever agree to killing a child. If he could somehow go back in time, knowing what he knows now, I think he would make the same choice to raise Lysander. In that scenario, I think he would rather try to fix the mistakes he made as a mentor, rather than punish Lysander.

Guh. Anyway. I had a lot of words in me about this subject. Hope you got something out of it! I’m consistently amazed by how Pierce Brown’s writing compels me to think deeply about these characters. Not to mention his ability to make me understand Lysander’s perspective even if I don’t like it or agree with it. Cassius’ perspective though... well, half of this post is just me guessing, so we’ll have to see how close I am to canon when book 6 comes out. Thanks for reading!

[thewayshedreamed]

Operation Ghost Leopard Masterlist

Lysaedion Spy AU

Summary: Lysandra is a secret agent employed by Arobynn Hamel. Her latest mission requires that she engage with Aedion Ashryver at a political gala to distract him away from his cousin's protection. Lysandra isn't sure what Arobynn's motives are regarding Aelin, only that her role requires that she pull Aedion away by any means necessary. 

Much to her surprise, the Prince of Terrasen is charming and friendly, eager to dance and spend time by her side. That is, until Aedion reveals that he's on a mission of his own, and Lysandra finds herself confronted by Aelin's court with a lucrative job offer. The problem is that it requires that she provide intel on Arobynn, putting herself and her family at risk and challenging everything she thought she knew of her life.

This fic contains: strong language, shameless flirtation, pining, jealousy, sexual tension, sexual content, and some violence. 

Chapters:

Part 1 

“I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure of meeting you, miss.”

Lysandra turned her head sharply and had to look up to peer into the face of her greeter. Her green eyes fell on ones of bright turquoise with a ring of gold; Ashryver eyes through and through. She scanned his face, observing how he had his golden hair swept into a low bun at the back of his head. If she truly had to complete this mission by any means necessary, she decided she could be much worse off than the beautiful man next to her.

Part 2

Silence, albeit tense, settled over the vehicle for the remaining minutes of the drive. Lysandra’s eyes drifted over slightly to Aedion, taking in the determined set of his jaw and the elegant strength of his upper body. It baffled her to think they’d been so comfortable with one another just a short time ago; laughing together, spinning across the dance floor, and genuinely enjoying each other’s company. In that moment, he was only a middle seat away from her, but it might as well have been miles.

Part 3

Aedion bit his lip as he considered; battling some internal etiquette war, no doubt. She dared to lean over and pat the other side of the bed, her final invitation. She wasn’t going to beg, for the gods’ sake.

Part 4

She had been his closer more times than she could count, and it was about time he admitted it to her and the others. The idea of continuing to pad the fragile egos of these men and allowing them to credit themselves with her contributions was absolutely nauseating to her now.

Part 5

Lysandra learned more everyday about what made Aedion so successful in winning the charms of others. His voice rolled over her skin with painful gentleness, and she was grateful that her body managed to avoid flushing at the sound of it. 

Part 6

“Mhm. You looked just as enamored with him as he did with you. To a certain degree, that’s to be expected considering the nature of your assignment. But you see, you and I, we watch people for a living, and I couldn’t help having some trouble discerning what was genuine from the role you’re to be playing.”

Part 7 

His words were cut off by a firm click of the space bar to pause the audio. Lorcan's eyes scanned the table, gauging the reactions of the court, but with particular interest on the princess. Lysandra dared to look her way again to see her face was white, almost green, with panic starting to brew a tempest in those turquoise eyes. In this state, Lysandra would swear the gold rings of her eyes were living flames. 

Part 8

He asked the the Guards who followed him to hang back and slid his hands into the pockets of his deep navy blue suit. Eyes the color of bright sapphires gleamed as he smiled toward them and slowed to a stop.

“Welcome to Rifthold,” he announced, his tone smooth and casual.

Part 9 

Dorian brought the queen forward, in greeting to some and introduction to others. She was polite, diplomatic, yet she did not emanate the warmth that Lysandra so often encountered when meeting royalty. It appeared that her Majesty had no interest in pretense, no matter her rank. Something about Manon made her feel exposed, vulnerable even, as if she saw through every cell of Lysandra’s body.

Part 10

Nothing about introducing him to the single most important person in her life was the behavior of someone prepared to walk away from it all. She cursed her lack of forethought in presenting it to him, but her brain subconsciously refused to entertain anything about the possibility of Aedion being a temporary fixture in her life. How had she let herself get here?

Part 11 

Lysandra couldn’t find the words, but it didn’t matter because Lorcan had already stepped forward to pull her roughly to his chest. He tucked her head beneath his chin, his hand gripping his other wrist to hold her against him. She wrapped her arms around his waist, blubbering excuses for her behavior into his now soaked shirt. 

Part 12

Lysandra reached toward his face, brushing his hair behind his ear as she scanned his expression. He gave nothing away. She sat up slightly to press a lingering kiss to his mouth, one he returned in kind. Aedion chased her lips as she lay back down, causing her to giggle softly as she pressed her index and middle fingers to his mouth to interrupt his pursuit.

“I don’t know,” she murmured around her smile. “I find it pretty easy to like you. I think I’d find myself pretty lucky to have you like me long-term.”

Part 13

Fresh tears, although it was nearly impossible to tell where one set stopped and another began, started to roll down her cheeks. Lysandra hated how much having her own words thrown at her stung. This must have been the Aedion that Lorcan had alluded to; the one Aedion warned her about when he said he didn’t like who he was. Her heart clenched at the difference in the man before her, especially upon realizing her words were the ones that brought this side of him out.

Part 14

On heavy feet, she forced herself to maintain a casual pace as she walked toward the conference room. Her heart thundered within her chest at twice the pace of her footfalls, leaving her feeling chaotic and unnerved. She paused with her hand on the conference room door and took a long, deep breath. It was best to prepare herself for anything she may see, but even in the event that she couldn’t, she told herself she only had to manage her external reaction. Her internal reaction was her own and an entirely different story.

Part 15

The prince grunted loudly at the pain on impact, but his grip on her remained as tight as he could manage. She wondered what the severities of all his injuries were, but she supposed she would find out in due time. In that moment she was content to hug him, to feel his warmth pressed along the lines of her body, to have his large hands fisted in the back of her shirt. She clutched his back as if he was the only thing keeping her from toppling off the face of the earth, her face buried against his chest as various emotions flooded her.

“I’m so fucking mad at you.”

Part 16

Heavy, malignant silence settled over the entire room. Aedion glanced at Lysandra then, mirroring her look of concern. Perhaps no one had briefed Dorian on the growing, rampant whispers of he and Aelin’s intentions over the last couple of days. Had he known, surely he would have understood the implied weight of his words. Darrow seemed happy enough to have Dorian back himself into his own trap, indicated by the slow, serpentine smile that stretched across his face.

Epilogue

Aedion waved her out to the balcony where he had a large glass of wine waiting on the small table between the ample lounge chairs. They were comfortable and one of Lysandra favorite places to relax. She dropped unceremoniously into the closest one, letting out a whoosh of air on impact. Aedion chuckled at her display, and although she knew he meant no harm, she scowled at him anyway.

Vignettes/Alternate POVs:

Parts 1-3 • Lorcan POV

Warning: contains spoilers if you haven’t read through Part 13!

Part 7+ • Rowan POV

Occurs during the court meeting in Part 7 and carries on after the meeting.

Parts 12-15 • Aedion POV

Should Have Known Better • Part 1 • Part 2

Part 1 covers OGL 12-13

Part 2 covers OGL 13-15

[darrowsrising]

by the way, I never fully understood why Octavia kept cassius alive during the duel in GS. I mean she made a fool of herself there. do you have any idea ?

Oh, but that has a few layers to it. It's not one things only. But it's simple.

The Sovereign was supposed to keep the balance, protect the Compact (which already gave them a lot of power). No Sovereign can step on the laws like they're a rug. Octavia thought otherwise, she said her word is law, she said she is the Compact, she said she is the Society. And because of the fact that she had many ensurances (world destroyer nukes, Storm Gods, no more contenders to her throne etc.), she foolishly believed that she is feared enough to put it out there after 60 years of reign.

Before she stopped the duel, she looked at Julia au Bellona. At that point she couldn't afford to lose her foothold on Mars, so she stopped it, because it was more convenient.

She never expected that Darrow would kill Cassius. No, not just kill, humilliate him first. So she just watched, surprised and disappointed as her plans were shifting. She had to calculate what Cassius' death would mean for her alliance with House Bellona andn with a look at Julia, she realised she needs them to get a hold on Mars. Because on Mars, just Bellona remained. House Arcos was on Europa and Lorn wouldn't come to her aid no matter what. And if she threatened his family, he would have gone to war against her. She couldn't afford that. Bellona had influence and power on Mars and a fleet bigger than Nero. She needed them.

She didn't find it out of place or wrong to call off the duel. She stuck to formalities (Cassius went at Darrow before the start was officially announced - ironically) and twisted them to suit herself, because after 60 years and, seemingly, even more to come (she was using cell rejuvenation treatments and such) she thought herself entitled to declare life and death and make duelling rules.

Her pride and hunger for power was really that big. She didn't find it in the least wrong to disobey Society Laws established before she was even born. She pissed on Silenius' stilletto and had no qualms about it, because (as we find out later) she had the Solar System in the palms of her hand.

What she did was stupid and I blamed it on just her being that slagging prideful and power-hungry after reigning for so long. And I was right, but now there is evidence.

The Rim was under Rhea's glassy corpse with a secret hangar full of world destroyer nukes at the ready in case Magnus had to destroy a planet/moon again.

Mercury had Storm Gods in case House Votum grew a few more neurons and tried to act like Nero. With Mercury as an example, Venus wouldn't move a finger against Octavia (they weren't that inconvenient anyway).

And Mars...Nero was always a wild card, one she needed when her father was Sovereign. And she kept him because in exchange for supreme and unbothered power over Mars, he was very useful to her. Plus, Mars would never really and truly go against Octavia, because Nero had feud with House Bellona. House feuds were of no consequence to her. Nero needed her backup on Mars, so that the Bellonas would stay in their lane, so he kept close to her.

They didn't stay in their lane. When Claudius died, Nero was probably sick of bowing. So he took it upon himself and backed Anastasia.

But how can Octavia not declare herself supreme power? How, when she has a Solar System in chains? For her it wasn't stupid, it was truth. But her power blinded her to the fact that The Society was built on lies. A truth can shatter its peace. The Golds don't like getting told they are inferior, Core Golds the least. But that's what Octavia does, says her power over them is absolute, because she knows it's truth. The Golds don't, so they feel she is entitled and stupid.

She let Cassius live to appease her allies. She even gave him a new flesh arm (or maybe they reattached the original, we don't know) and Willow Way lessons from Aja au Grimmus herself. But Octavia doesn't forget or forgive.

Kellan au Bellona lost on Europa so fast, his entire career as Praetor was flushed down a toilet. Tiberius au Bellona, Imperator of the Sixth Fleet, loses Aegea and his head fast too. Octavia doesn't forgive failure. She invested in Cassius too much to replace him with another Morning Knight, so to keep her allies and to trimm off the fat, she killed the rest of the Bellonas. Edit: forgot to add that Karnus got decapitated by Darrow! Never liked that bitch, he got one nice quote and the fandom fawns over him like he isn't a waste of airand space.

Hope this clears out some things!

Howl on!

[writinginstardust]

After The War | Chapter 2

Pairing: Dorian Havilliard x reader

Warnings: The word bastard literally once

A/N: Part 2 is finally ready and it’s even longer than I anticipated. Also it;s from Dorian’s POV and the chapters are probably gonna alternate between these 2 POV’s every chapter because I like getting inside both their heads. We have flirting guys! Actual flirting! Hope you guys like it!

Word Count: 3401

*

Dinner was a quiet affair, as Dorian had preferred to keep it since returning home last spring, just him, Chaol, Yrene, Hollin, and their visitors from Terrasen. They were more like family than visiting dignitaries and he wanted to treat them as such. He knew many of his advisors and the other Lords would have liked to join them, that it was more proper that way, but he’d decided a while ago that he didn’t much care for a lot of what was considered ‘proper’ anymore. Including falling for a member of another court apparently. One who thought he was ‘pretty’ even if she didn’t remember telling him that.

Gods, she’d only been here a day. A day! And he was already in deeper than he should be. It was hard not to be infatuated though, he was pretty sure half the younger Lords were as well and they’d known her for even less time than he had. Honestly he was beginning to wonder what was going on in the Terrasen bloodlines, it seemed like everyone he knew from the kingdom was stronger, smarter, and more loyal than anyone else he’d met and (Y/N) was no exception. She’d proved that in their meeting today just as she’d proved it defending her home against the might of Morath. She was just as smart, just as brave, just as determined, just as committed to her people as Aelin, as quick-witted too but had a much more calm and sweet disposition than her Queen. Less likely to set you on fire too, though from what he’d heard from the others she might very well try if you pushed her too far.

Currently she was giggling beside him at something Evangeline had just said and Dorian didn’t think he’d ever heard a more beautiful sound. He really needed not to think about her like that. This needed to be professional...well...friendly at least. They could be friends. In fact he thought he’d be more than happy with that, the feelings he thought he had may not even be that serious and he wouldn’t want to risk ruining anything between himself and all his friends in Terrasen by hurting her. But that would have to involve her feeling something for him too he supposed. He doubted that was the case. In any case, no flirting.

“So you really did threaten to kick Darrow’s ass if he didn’t let you fight?” Dorian was broken out of his thoughts at the question Chaol asked her, surprise etched on his face. He’d met the old Lord and he didn’t seem like the kind of person who’d take kindly to that sort of thing.

“Certainly did, I would have done it too. He seemed to be under the impression that me being a noble girl meant my place wasn’t on the battlefield. Clearly he forgot who I grew up around and where I spent the last ten years.” (Y/N) grinned and it was clear she’d have taken great pleasure in showing up the old Lord. Dorian thought he’d probably enjoy watching that almost as much.

“I think I’d have liked to see that,” Nox voiced his own thoughts, murmurs of agreement coming from around the table.

“I think a lot of people would have,” Ren agreed, an amused smile on his face, “he’s not so bad anymore though so I don’t think we can come up with a good excuse for it. Shame.” He shrugged and turned back to his dinner.

“If you want to fight a backwards bastard of a Lord, you’re more than welcome to take a shot at my father while you’re here,” Chaol offered, and wasn’t that a delightful thought?

“As tempting as that sounds from what I know of him, I think that would be a bit counter-productive to why I’m here. Maybe after all our business is done I’ll take you up on that.”

“I hope you do,” Dorian finally rejoined the conversation. “If you want to get in a bit of practice first though, you’re welcome to test your skills on someone who’s a bit of a challenge.” He punctuated the offer with a wink. So much for no flirting.

“If you’ve got someone who will be then I’d be happy to.” She looked him dead in the eyes, an eyebrow cocked, as she replied, the teasing clear.

“We’ll have to see about that but I’m sure I’ll suffice for now.” She looked him over as if assessing and his skin was set aflame wherever her eyes roamed. He decided that when his time to die came he’d happily be burned alive by that gaze.

“We’ll see.” She smirked and turned her attention back to the others. Dorian let his eyes linger on her for a while, only half paying attention to the conversation around him. He’d told himself he wouldn’t pursue anything with her but that didn’t mean he couldn’t admire her. He’d never been one to deny himself life’s simpler pleasures and he wasn’t going to deny himself this.

It was late by the time they vacated the dining room, their conversations stretching on as they all got to know each other better and entertained each other with stories of the mutual friends in the years before they’d met. (Y/N) in particular had some rather amusing tales to tell about Aelin which Dorian was definitely going to have to ask the Queen about when he finally saw her again. Still smiling about one such story, he and Chaol headed to his office, their work not quite over for the day though neither wanted to do anything but sleep.

“You and (Y/N) really seem to have hit it off, I see.” There was an edge of something teasing in Chaol’s voice as he slid a sidelong glance at Dorian.

“I suppose so,” he shrugged in an attempt to seem indifferent, he was not going to admit how much he already liked her to anyone, not even his best friend. There seemed no need anyway, nothing would come of it and they needed to focus on getting through all their negotiations. “She seems to have made a good impression on just about everyone.” He felt more than saw Chaol rolling his eyes in response.

“I think she’s made more than just a good impression on you.”

“Well I definitely like her already if that’s what you’re getting at. She’s smart and brave and kind and I’d like to get to know her better.” He realised he was probably getting a bit too close to making his feelings known. “Besides,” he added in an attempt to dispel that line of thinking from Chaol, “we’ve got to work together for a while and she’s a friend of Aelin’s, it’s only right that I make her feel welcome here.” The excuse wasn’t likely to work for long and Chaol’s face told him that when he looked over, but it was enough to get the subject dropped for the time being.

Dropped for almost a week it turned out. Dorian was surprised it took that long for it to be brought up again though, considering how obvious he felt he was being. He really had tried not to show it but it got harder every day as he spent countless hours in her company, both during meetings and in their spare time. He couldn’t help it really, he was falling further and further with every new thing he uncovered about her and jumping at every opportunity to spend more time together, unbothered by the knowing glances thrown at him by everyone each time he did.

She was truly a wonder to him and the feelings he'd thought could be nothing were growing stronger with each passing moment, blossoming into something beautiful and deadly that he was starting to believe had the power to end him. Her laugh made his heart stutter, her smile made it stop, the light kiss she pressed to his cheek that one time made it beat a thousand times a minute. And gods...the way she practically glowed in the early evening light, as she was then, took his breath away.

They were strolling through the gardens after a particularly arduous meeting with the Lords and advisors about restitutions for all the previous King had done to Terresan and it's people. It was to be the first of many and it hadn't gotten off to the best of starts even with Dorian and (Y/N) already in agreement. Many of them were less than pleased with the amount suggested for the Kingdom to give especially with the state Adarlan was still in. In all honesty Dorian felt they should do far more to make up for everything but Aelin refused to let him pay for the sins of his father any more than necessary.

“They'll come around I'm sure. They're reasonable people...for the most part, they'll see this deal is more than fair.”

“I hope so.” She sighed, stopping in her tracks and gazing off into the distance at the setting sun. “Sooner rather than later would be good, they're exhausting.”

Dorian chuckled at her honesty but had to agree, he almost missed the days when they were all too busy with war to do this kind of stuff. Almost.

“That, they are. You get used to it after a while though.” He smiled down at her. “A tip from someone who's been doing this half their life; stop listening after about a minute, they just repeat everything in new ways after that. Use the rest of your time to figure out what will make them compromise and stop whining. You don't have to actually go through with it but they need to feel like they've won something.” A small smile lit up her features and Dorian couldn't bring himself to look away even with what he knew was a beautiful sunset before them.

“I'll keep that in mind for next time...Gods there's going to be a next time.”

“Unfortunately yes. You did well today though, Lord Westfall didn't complain nearly as much as I expected. I think what you said actually got through to him somehow.”

“I suppose it must have, no idea why though.”

“Maybe he's just finally succumbing to your charm. A pretty face can convince most men to do things they otherwise wouldn't, especially when there's a sharp mind wielding it.” He winked and was most pleased to see a light blush spreading across her cheeks at the compliment.

“Somehow I doubt that but I've got no better ideas...” She continued to stare into the distance, clearly deep in thought, and Dorian simply stood beside her, enjoying the silence and unwilling to interrupt whatever was going on in her head.

“Dorian!” Said man whipped his head around at the sound of his name and spotted Chaol walking towards them, an apologetic, yet still somehow smug, smile on his face. The yell also snapped (Y/N) back to reality and she turned around in surprise.

“Hi Chaol!” She called over and waved as he made his way closer. He nodded and briefly turned his smile to her before addressing Dorian once more.

“There's a...situation with some of the Lords that requires your attention. It shouldn't take long but I think you need to deal with this now.” He was admittedly confused at how vague Chaol was being but shrugged it off. He groaned and looked skywards as if praying for something to save him from what awaited. Dragging a hand down his face, he brought his gaze back down, hoping his exasperation was clear. A badly suppressed laugh sounded beside him and it was the first time he'd heard it and not wanted to join in.

“Alright,” he sighed. “Sorry (Y/N), duty calls. I'll see you at dinner.” He looked over regretfully and found her smirking, clearly amused at his predicament.

“I guess I'll see you later then. Have fun.”

He turned away and followed Chaol back inside, missing the longing gaze trained on him until he was out of sight.

“What's this about then?” Dorian asked as the two men entered the castle.

“Nothing serious,” Chaol quickly reassured. “It's about (Y/N) though so I thought you might want to personally handle it.” The explanation did little to clear things up, in fact it left Dorian with even more questions than before.

“What about her? I thought they were all getting along? Please don't tell me they've decided to act like children because they're not happy about the restitutions?” He would absolutely not hesitate to treat them as such if they were acting that way. He prayed he wouldn't have to though.

“On the contrary, they seem to be getting on a little too well.” That stopped Dorian in his tracks. It was definitely not what he had expected.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, some of them are thinking about her as more than just a foreign emissary...they're thinking about courting her and right now arguing over who gets to try first.”

Dorian felt all the colour drain from his face, his world being turned upside down at Chaol's revelation. Admittedly it came as no great surprise to him, he'd noticed the way some of them had acted around her since they met, had overheard them talking about her more than a few times, he understood why they might feel something for her given he himself did. The thought of (Y/N) with any of them didn't sit right with him but there was no way he was going to admit that. He had no right to decide that for her anyway.

“Why do you think I need to deal with it? Their love lives are none of my business. As long as it doesn't affect our relationship with Terrasen, they can do whatever they like.” He didn't mean a single word, didn’t want to deal with the pain seeing her with one of his Lords, but he’d decided it was a bad idea to pursue her himself so really had no good reason to stop it. Besides, he’d be a terrible friend if he stood in the way of her potential happiness.

“I think you need to deal with it because I know you’ve fallen for her.” It was obvious Chaol was growing tired of his refusal to acknowledge his feelings as an undercurrent of anger crept into his voice. Dorian fixed him with a stern look which his friend had unfortunately grown impervious to and ignored. “Did you really think I was going to believe that line about making her feel welcome for Aelin? Really? Dorian, we’ve been best friends for years, I know you and I know when you’re hiding something. How could you think I wouldn’t notice?”

“Chaol…” there was a slight warning in his tone which again went ignored by his friend. It wasn’t that he didn’t want Chaol to know, but saying it out loud made it real and he didn’t really feel like dealing with that. Not when it would only lead to more pain.

“And you’re not exactly being subtle about it. I don’t think there’s a soul who knows you that can’t tell...except (Y/N), somehow she’s completely oblivious to how you feel.” He sighed and Dorian wasn’t entirely sure if it was directed at him or at the girl in question. “Just...why haven’t you done anything about it yet? You’ve always gone out and got what you wanted, why is this any different? I know she’s what you want so what’s stopping you?”

Dorian snapped.

“I’ve known her a week Chaol! A week! Fine, I’ll admit I’ve developed feelings for her but this is way too soon to start anything serious and I’m not going to risk anything casual and temporary that might mean one of us gets hurt! I can’t do that to her and I can’t do that to myself. Not again.” He deflated slightly, calming himself before continuing. “There’s too much to consider and too many risks with us getting involved. I refuse to let my own feelings become a problem when we already have so much to deal with.”

“Dorian…” Chaol’s voice was noticeably softer but still stern, demanding he pay attention. “Your happiness doesn’t come second to everything. Yes, you have responsibilities to your people and allies as King but you’re allowed to take a chance at your own happiness, it won’t destroy everything if it goes wrong and it won’t affect our relationship with Terrasen.”

“It’s still only been a week Chaol.”

“Maybe so but you already know you feel something so why not take a chance?”

Dorian didn’t have a good answer ready, at least not one he wanted to voice, so he elected to remain silent at Chaol’s question. His friend could read him like no one else could though and saw just what he wanted to keep hidden.

“You need to figure out what’s going to be harder to live with; taking a chance and things not going well, or maybe missing out on something amazing. I’ll tell the Lords it’s inappropriate to pursue anything while we’re in negotiations, it will give you some time to figure it out, but you can’t have forever. She won’t wait forever. Decide. Are you going to let your fear rule you or are you going to rule your fear?”

With that strangely poignant question, Chaol clapped him on the shoulder and walked away, leaving him alone with his thoughts. In the end it all came down to one question: How much was he willing to risk for a shot at happiness?

*

Dear Aelin,

Everything is going incredibly well. We’ve hit a small snag with the restitutions but Dorian seems to think the Lords will agree sooner or later, we just have to give them some time. Honestly these Lords can be almost as temperamental as ours sometimes, I still can’t decide if I’d rather deal with Darrow or Chaol’s father, it’s a tough call.

Ren is going to head back with Evangeline in about a week and a half, apparently he has total faith in me not to mess everything up without him. We’ll see. (I promise I won’t) They were going to leave sooner but we’ve had word from Nesryn and Sartaq that they’ll be here in a weeks time and Evangeline was dying to stay and see them. I’m looking forward to it. It’s been too long since I saw them and honestly it will be nice having someone else in those meetings. They’re not the worst thing I suppose, Dorian agreeing with just about everything is making them much easier, but they’re endless and exhausting and I cannot wait until they're over.

Speaking of Dorian...I’m still surprised you passed up that opportunity back when he liked you. He’s so kind and thoughtful and honestly so much more attractive than I’d ever imagined turning into such a great friend. I have to thank you for sending we to do all this if only because of the friends I’ve made here. (the trust and faith in me is an honour too!)

Anyway, we’re all doing well, Nox, Ren, and Evangeline are enjoying it all for the most part and they’re happy with all that’s been agreed, I hope you will be too. Dorian, Chaol, and Yrene are all hoping to see you soon as well but you may want to put that off, I may have told them a few stories from when we were younger that they want to tease you about but I’ve got stories about them too which should make up for it.

Let me know if anything interesting happens up there, I’m sure with our Court there must be plenty to tell me about and I need to know it all. I’ll keep you updated with everything that’s going on and send word if we need your input. It doesn’t look likely with how smoothly everything has been going but you never know.

Hope you’re all having a rotten time without me, I know I’m the life and soul of our little group so you must be missing me desperately. Give my love to the others if you think they deserve it and I can’t wait to see you again soon.

Love

(Y/N)

[goforwardgreenwriter-blog]

The Worm Reads: Empire of Storms, Ch 28 - 29

I honestly don’t know how it can get worse from here.

So they start the real official meeting that Rowan called in Rolfe’s office, and Aelin wastes no time making me want to rip my eyes out.

[Rowan’s] face—oh, gods, [Aelin]’d missed that harsh, unyielding face

Back to Ratlin (that’s what I’m calling it from now on) splooging I see. Great. Can’t wait for multiple paragraphs of Aelin busting a nut at the thought of Rowan’s peen while SJM insists these books have a plot.

Aelin decided she didn’t particularly give a shit who was watching and rose up on her toes to brush her mouth against [Rowan’s].

UHHH WHAT THE FUCK AELIN. THIS IS AN IMPORTANT MEETINGS THAT’LL DETERMINE IF ROLFE JOINS YOUR WAR EFFORT OR NOT YOU CAN’T JUST - oh forget it, I’ll just sound like a broken record.

[Aelin] just prayed she’d be able to warn Aedion before he ran into his father - who was now sitting two seats down from her, gawking at her as if she had ten heads. Gods, even the expression was like Aedion’s. How hadn’t she noticed that this spring in Wendlyn?

My monkey brain is having feels because I’m sucker for the “child is spitting image of their parent” trope..... bad monkey brain.

“And who would verify the word of a nineteen-year-old princess?” [Aelin] jerked her chin at the wax-sealed tube. “Murtaugh Allsbrook would. He wrote you a nice, long letter about it.” Rolfe picked up the tube, studied it, and chucked it in a neat arc—right into his rubbish bin. The thud echoed through the office.

LMAOOOOOO YOU GO ROLFE!!! SLAY THAT BITCH!!!! I mean considering all the shit Aelin put him through I don’t blame him not wanting to align with her.

Rolfe let out a low laugh. “The talk of young idealists and dreamers.” “The world,” Aelin said, “will be saved and remade by the dreamers, Rolfe.”

See, this is the kind of shit I would be getting excited about if this was a good series. Sounds like something straight of Les Mis. SJM can come up with some good quotes, but if I don’t care about the horrible characters and there’s no plot, why should I give a shit?

Aelin purred, “Do you want gold, Rolfe? Do you want a title? Do you want glory or women or land? Or is it just the bloodlust that drives you?”

Oh my god, SJM is a furry!

Looks like you bid on the wrong horse [Rowan],” Rolfe crooned. He flicked his eyes to Dorian. “What news did you receive?” But that wrong horse [Rowan] cut in smoothly, “There was none. But you’ll be glad to know your spies at the Ocean Rose are certainly doing their job. And that His Majesty is quite an accomplished actor.”

Jesus Christ this writing

Dorian said coldly, “For a petty grudge, you’d refuse to consider allying with us?” Aelin snorted. “I’d hardly call wrecking his shit-poor city and ships a ‘petty grudge.’”

T-this... this can’t be. I am reading Empire of Storms by SJM, right? Aelin? Having self awareness? In my SJM book? Well, it’s more likely... to never appear again.

Rolfe tells Aelin to go fuck herself and that scene ends, permanently establishing Rolfe as one of the few Well Written Characters. I want him, Darrow, Manon, and Gav to leave this shitty series and go forth to a better one.

Aelin hit the narrow hallway, a wall of muscle at her back and by her side, and faced another dilemma: Aedion.

I smell Aedion daddy issues angst over the horizon. Also, are the ‘walls of muscle’ supposed to be Rowan and... the other Fae??? God SJM stop jerking off to your own characters for 5 minutes please.

Aelin made it all of three steps down the hall when Gavriel said behind her, “Where is he?” Slowly, she looked back. The warrior’s tan face was tight, his eyes full of sorrow and steel.

Damn, I just feel really bad for Gav. Keep in mind I don’t remember why he left Aedion (if it was revealed previously) but I’m hoping SJM actually uses him and makes him a good father, this series is severely lacking in good parental figures.

But Aelin sucked on a tooth

“You don’t get to decide when and where and how you meet him,” Aelin said. “He’s my gods-damned son. I think I do.”

Nooo SJM I’m begging you I like Gav please don’t make him a toxic fuckboi pleeeeeease

Aelin just tells Gav not to order her around and that scene ends...? Okay. I hope SJM is implying Gav calmed down and respected his son’s boundaries. I just want one character to stay good and pure and to be a good father is that too much to ask.

Later Aelin goes to have a chat with Dorian.

“It seems you and I are currently without crowns, thanks to a few bullshit pieces of paper.” Dorian didn’t return her smile. The stairs groaned beneath them as they headed for the second floor. They were almost to the room Dorian had indicated when he said, “Maybe that’s a good thing.”

I mean, Dorian, you seem like a good king who would fight to defend his people. You deserve to be king. But Aelin? Yeah if she was queen her kingdom would be already burnt to the ground, so you’re half right.

They have another meeting where Rowan/Dorian share more information about the witches.

“Manon Blackbeak,” Aedion mused, “would be a valuable ally, if we can get her to turn.”

NO NONO NO NO KEEP MANON’S BEAUTIFUL SELF AWAY FROM AELIN’S CRUSTY ASS I’M BEGGING

It was never-ending, [Aelin] supposed while they dined that night on peppered crab and spiced rice.

Reading this as a Cape Bretoner was a mistake. Now I’m hungry for some good seafood..... mmmm, battered fish and chips.....

And [Aelin] was to be given nothing more than obscure commands by long-dead royals to find a way to stop it, nothing more than gods-damned months to rally a force against him.

Gods-damned is a stupid word and SJM should feel bad for abusing it. Aelin decides to make sure Rolfe’s hand maps work and the chapter ends. Next!

Too many animals loitering about the streets at this hour would attract the wrong sort of attention. But Aedion still wished that the shifter was wearing fur or feathers compared to … this.

Greaaat are we gonna get Aedion slut shaming Lysandra? Just what I wanted....

He glanced at the delicate gold chain dangling around Lysandra’s pale throat, tracing its length down the front of her bodice, to where the Amulet of Orynth was now hidden beneath. “Admiring the view?” Aedion snapped his eyes up from the generous swells of her breasts. “Sorry.”

The only reason Lysandra is wearing the Amulet is so Aedion can drool over her boobies. I’m right and you all know it.

“Rowan claimed Rolfe would find the amulet interesting enough to go after it.” “Rowan and Aelin have a tendency to say one thing and mean something else entirely.” Aedion heaved a breath through his nose.

Aedion actually criticizing Aelin?? What the fuck is going on??

Lysandra gets pissy when Aedion points out she’s tired. Not even to condescend towards her, he’s actually concerned, so calm down, Lysandra. We get an ““““explanation”“““ for Lysandra’s shifting powers.

Each shift took something out of Lysandra. The bigger the change, the bigger the animal, the steeper the cost. Aedion had witnessed her morph from butterfly to bumblebee to hummingbird to bat within the span of a few minutes. But going from human to ghost leopard to bear or elk or horse, she’d once demonstrated, took longer between shifts, the magic having to draw up the strength to become that size, to fill the body with all its inherent power.

Better than nothing, but... how does shifting into bigger animals exhaust her but shifting into smaller animals doesn't? Each time the mass of her body is changing, so shouldn’t shifting in general exhaust her? Btw, read Animorphs, it’s a great gritty series that deals with shifting powers way better.

Aedion, however, stiffened slightly as those steps grew closer, and he found himself staring at the son of his great enemy. King, now.

This is confusing as fuck. Stop referring to Dorian as king and use his name so we can understand who Aedion is staring at, thank you.

[Aedion] reined in his scowl as he said to the king, “So, you and Whitethorn didn’t kill each other.” Dorian’s brows scrunched. “He saved my life, nearly got himself burned out to do it. Why should I be anything but grateful?”

Great, now we have to add Rowan splooging that isn’t from Aelin to the list.

He did not resent what she had been, what she portrayed now, only the monsters who had seen the beauty the child would grow into and taken her into that brothel. Aelin had told him what Arobynn had done to the man she’d loved. It was a miracle the shifter could smile at all.

What the fuuuuck why is Aedion portrayed as ~noble and amazing~ for not judging Lysandra based on her past? It’s common human decency to not judge people for things out of their control!! Does SJM not understand how humans operate?

Aedion tells Dorian to fuck off and he leaves, and Lysandra gets understandably irritated by Aedion being a dick.

“He stabbed Aelin. If you knew him as I have, you wouldn’t be so willing to fawn over—”

1. Dorian was, to my memory, being controlled by a demon thing when he stabbed Aelin. He was not in his right mind, and did not have control over himself. Stop holding that over his head, you prick.

2. Aedion you were an asshole too! You tripped Dorian and sent him falling into a thorn bush when you two were walking in HOF. You fucking judgemental asshole, I cannot believe I ever liked you.

Aedion’s like “b-but he was an arrogant kid” and Lysandra, being voice of reason, is like “Um, we all were as kids Aedion, including Aelin” and we litERALLY GET THIS

“I don’t care if he was as arrogant and vain as Aelin, I don’t care if he was enslaved to a demon that took his mind. I look at him and see my family butchered, see those tracks to the river, and hear Quinn tell me that Aelin was drowned and dead.” His breathing was uneven, and his throat burned, but he ignored it.

JESUS TAP DANCING CHRIST. Okay, I’m not saying Aedion isn’t wrong to be weary of Dorian after what happened to his family at the hands of Dorian’s father but this is literally Aedion going “It’s only okay to be a dick if it’s Aelin! Everyone else is a bad ruler and should bow down to her uwu”

FUCKING HELL. I’m willing to bet if it had been Aelin mind controlled, Aedion would be jumping through hoops to justify her actions and convince everyone she couldn’t help herself. Assdion has no character outside of being a dick and kissing up Aelin’s ass. I fucking hat this character almost as much as I hate Aelin.

Aedion braced his palm against the wall again and leaned in to glower in [Lysandra’s] face. She did not yield an inch. “There is an order and rank in our court, lady, and last I checked, you were not number three. You don’t give me commands.”

(...) And the last I checked…” She poked his chest, right between his pectorals, and he could have sworn the tip of a claw pierced the skin beneath his clothes. “You weren’t pathetic enough to enforce rank to hide from being in the wrong.“

*Mortal Kombat voice* FINISH HIM

His blood sparked and thrummed. Aedion found himself taking in the sensuous curves of her mouth, now pressed thin with anger.

W.....

YOU TWO ARE ARGUING AND ASSDION SUDDENLY HAS A BONER OVER HER MOUTH. HOW THE FUCK IS THIS HEALTHY IN ANY SHAPE OR FORM. This is nearly as bad as the “kissing a spouse during an argument instead of solving the problem” trope.

By the way, Aedion is demoted to Assdion. Aelin to Alien, and Rowan to Rowboat. I hate these characters so much.

Lysandra backed away a step, too casual to be anything but a calculated move. But Aedion tried—for her sake, he tried to stop thinking about her mouth—

WHAT THE FUCK DOES SJM THINK ALL MEN ARE HORNDOGS WHO WANNA FUCK 24/7?? This is an incredibly upsetting and inaccurate stereotype! It’s not goddamn hard to not think with your dick for five seconds jfc

Too soon—she wouldn’t want a man’s touch for a long time. Maybe forever. And he’d be damned if he pushed her into it before she wanted to.

Are you sure about that? Because a minute ago you were nearly cumming at the thought of her mouth.

Subject changes and Assdion asks if his father wanted to see him.

“[Gav] nearly bit Aelin’s head off when she refused to tell him where and who you are.” Ice filled [Aedion’s] veins. If his father had been rude to her—“But I got the sense,” Lysandra quickly clarified as he tensed, “that he is the sort of male who would respect your wishes if you chose not to see him.

*sniffles* Gav deserves to be a good father.

“What would you do?” “I can’t answer that question. My own father…” She shook her head. He knew about that—the shifter-father who had either abandoned her mother or not even known she was pregnant. And then the mother who had thrown Lysandra into the street when she discovered her heritage. “Aedion, what do you want to do? Not for us, not for Terrasen, but for you.”

I would be having feels and starting to ship them had we not had a whole scene dedicated to Assdion being a dick and nearly kissing Lysandra without her consent sooooo

[Aedion] bowed his head a bit, glancing sidelong at the quiet street again. “My whole life has been … not about what I want. I don’t know how to choose those things.”

A little late there to make me feel sympathetic towards Assdion, SJM. You CANNOT have Assdion act as an Aelin worshiping prick and then turn around and expect me to feel bad for him.

Assdion asks Lysandra to come with him to meet his father the next day and then splooges about how much he apparently cares about Lysandra.  I don’t care.

From the shadows of his hood, he monitored the alley ahead, the shadows and shafts of moonlight, bracing himself. They’d picked the dead-end alley for a reason. The girl realized her mistake a step too late. “Oh.”

The girl is Rolfe’s barmaid. She immediately leaves and they suspect she’s Rolfe’s spy. Finally, I am free from this god awful chapter.

[queenincarnate]

I Am... Not Okay

Okay, so some final thoughts on Tower of Dawn. Some of them are, well, painful, starting with what’s gonna happen when:

a) Falkhan and Nesryn finally get to Terrasen, the latter overjoyed to introduce the former to what could be his only remaining family member, only to find that when they get there, there is only “Aelin” standing in front of them. “Aelin” must stay that way or risk her ruse for the Queen of Terrasen being revealed. Nesryn steps forward slowly, with pleading eyes, asking who she thinks is Mala Fire-Bringer, “Where is Lysandra?” When the fleets arrive and the shapeshifter cannot look into her uncle’s eyes and say “It’s me”. Or...

b) Chaol and Yrene arrive and the former lays eyes on the woman who’s caused him so much heartache and love and he wants to speak with her. What will happen when Chaol tries to forgive her personally for her actions, perceived or true? What will happen when he apologizes for blaming her for every bad thing that’s come into his life, that he was wrong and she didnt deserve his wrath? When he tries to thank her for giving him the brightest thing in his life wholly on accident, for saving Yrene? When he leads his wife to Queen Aelin Ashryver Galathynius so that the healer can meet the woman that saved her life, learn her name, only to find that the Fire-Bringer has no clue. When Chaol recognizes that Prince Rowan Whitethorn is not there, that the shapeshifter took his friend’s place, asking “Where is Aelin?” leading into...

c) WHO THE HELL WILL BE TOLD ABOUT THE RUSE? The group from the Southern Continent comes, in tow with a land, aerial, and naval armies, with healers to save slaves, will Aedion and Lysandra deign to inform Chaol that Aelin has been stolen by Maeve? How will his knowledge about the Valg Queen change the Terrasen group’s motives of getting the real Aelin back? What about Chaol and Nesryn, wondering why Aelin is no longer labeled Queen by everyone but her squad? What will the Antica group do when they learn that Aelin sold herself, and still made good on her promise to provide an army to rattle the stars? All in the wake of Darrow banishing Aelin from Orynth? Who promised on her own blood and might, both of which she gave, that she would not turn her back on Terrasen when they call for aid like Darrow did on her? When they learn that Aelin, their Fireheart, sacrificed EVERYTHING so that they might have a chance, and that she did not expect them to come for her?

Along with that, what about all Chaol’s questions?  What will Chaol think of Dorian flying off with Manon Blackbeak, what will he do when he learns that Aelin has been taken, in such a horrifying way by Maeve? What will he think of Manon as a Crochan Queen, looking to turn the tide in the war?

What about MY questions? What will happen between the Queen of the Wastes and the Master of the Silent Assassions?  Will Fleetfoot know that “Aelin” is the shapeshifter? What about Evangeline? What will happen when Aelin Galathynius, rightful Queen of Terrasen and heir of Mala Fire-Bringer, shows up on Darrow’s doorstep like a mockery of his claims, saying “Who’s done nothing now?”

What will Darrow do when he learns that Aelin sold herself for her kingdom? That he was so pitifully wrong? So shamefully arrogant?

What about the problems presented when people begin to assume that Aelin is part Valg? Even though Maeve shares no blood ties with Mab and Mora, only very select few people know that little tidbit. What will they do to counteract those fears of her?

Also, what EXACTLY are Maeve’s motives for changing the world if she gets the keys? She wanted to banish her husband and brothers back to the other realm, their demons with them, and that’s not awful. Maeve was dissatisfied with the Valg realm, the bleakness. The fell in love with the liveliness of Erilea, how it was everything that Valg realm wasn’t. Despite her blatant discrimination against half-breeds, Doranelle is a beautiful and seemingly fair kingdom that is well maintained. What, precisely, would she change with the wyrdkeys and Aelin?

How will Aelin react when she learns that her “aunt” is a demon Queen, like she suspected with Brannon on that rock a lifetime ago?

What will Yrene do when she learns that the assassin that saved her life is the biggest hope for the world and Queen of Terrasen? What will she do when she hears those two syllables that make up the name of the woman that saved her life, in every way that counted? That she’s been wondering about since the moment Yrene found that gold on her bed, the funds to follow her dreams, with a note that changed her life. “Wherever you need to go - and then some. The world needs more healers.” What will the two women do when they meet again, Yrene learning that Aelin only wanted to be a healer when she was young but turned into a Fire-Bringer instead, Aelin learning that Yrene made it, to do what she never could?

Will Fenrys help preserve what is left of Aelin? Will she be in that dark place she was after Endovier? Nehemia? What will Aelin do to convince everyone that she is broken? What about the people of Mistward? The King and Queen of Eyllwe?

I just need answers.