#and him “secretly�� enchanting the croquet mallet

[technically-human]

Confessional... things get complicated when you're a ghost.

@i-am-as-normal-as-you-are asked for, and this is a literal quote, "R!Edwin going to a confessional (full angst)" so yeah... full angst indeed.

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #122: Trapped in Outer Space!

April, 1974

Lil’ Vision is disgruntled that he doesn’t understand the symbolism of the Avengers bursting through a page of their own book.

Anyway, last times: Taurus assembles a new Zodiac to pull off a dastardly scheme! The death of every Gemini in Manhattan!

The Avengers foiled this craven plot but the Zodiac escaped by blasting the all empathetic mystery girl Mantis and running while the Avengers saved her from falling to her death.

But gadzooks! Unrest in the houses of Zodiac! Aries sways a good number of the Zodiac into backing his revolution against Taurus! He tries to get financier Van Lunt to back him too, not realizing Van Lunt is Taurus!

When the Avengers burst into the warehouse to capture Zodiac, they and the revolting members are blasted into space because the warehouse was secretly a spaceship!

This time: The final battle, I guess. Also, trapped in outer space with some pretty rad narration.

God, I love comics at times like this. It would probably have been more cost effective to just pack the warehouse with explosives and blow the place up. Thor and Vision may have survived but you’d pretty much guarantee the death of everyone else.

But Van Lunt decided to build a spaceship disguised as a warehouse and then launch it into space. Its so delightfully, stupidly supervillainous.

I also love the two page spread that follows the first splash page.

Thor explains the situation in his Asgardian vernacular: “Behold! The trap of Taurus for the members of Zodiac who did plot against his leadership hath been perfectly sprung... too perfectly for those of us who did combat their villainy!”

And then Pisces, I think, just shouts “Good lord! We’re in ORBIT!”

The juxtaposition gets me.

Anyway, inexplicably-white-for-a-panel-Aries is sure the heroes will save everyone but Iron Man is unsure. There’s a force field covering the exits. Which, thankfully, is what is letting them keep breathing.

Thor decides he wants to hit it with his hammer. It’s what he knows.

He throws Mjolnir hard enough that it bursts through the force field. Except, the space warehouse is in orbit. And Mjolnir is a bit dumber during this time. It boomerangs back to where it was thrown but the space warehouse has floated on.

And Thor belatedly realizes that he’s jumped the gun a bit and jumps behind some boxes so nobody sees him transform back into Don Blake.

Of course, the members of Zodiac aren’t complete idiots. They just dress like it. They figure out something is off about Thor and decide that now - while they’re trapped in space - is the best time to get ‘im!

So the Avengers have to beat up Zodiac some more to keep them from Thor (actually Don Blake).

Also, Aries apparently stole a handheld Star-Blazer because he blasts Vision and Iron Man with it before Vision blasts it out of his hands and yells logic at them.

Even if they learn Thor’s secret, it will be worthless if they have to carry it into their graves. Which will happen if they can’t work together and figure out a way to rescue themselves. BECAUSE THEY ARE TRAPPED IN OUTER SPACE!

“Don’t you understand that we are in space? Oxygen, food, warmth: all lie below us -- not here!”

Also, the space warehouse has a limited amount of oxygen and fighting will just use it up faster. Probably lost some too when Mjolnir breached the force field.

Meanwhile, we check in with the non-rebelling Zodiac. All... geez, only five of them? Taurus, Capricorn, Virgo, Gemini and Libra?

Anyway, Taurus is gloating about his space warehouse trap and about maybe it was lucky to catch the Avengers in on it but the rest was just great planning.

Libra feels that this is the best time to mention that he knew ahead of time about the revolt. And that he turned down the offer to join because he represent the balance and doesn’t choose sides.

For some reason, learning this doesn’t make Taurus happy. The fact that he controls the Star-Ship, built the Star-Blaster and most of Zodiac’s other weapons should be the reason not to rebel against him. Not because of neutrality.

In fact, GET OUT OF HIS FACE YOU LOYAL ZODIACS. THEY DON’T HAVE THE GUTS TO STAND UP TO HIM ANYWAY.

So they do. Gemini and Libra go off on a walk together. Gemini sympathizes with all the stresses Taurus must be under. He busted Gemini out of jail and kidnapped a man from under the Avengers’ noses so that he could have all the houses of Zodiac full for his big push and then it falls apart.

And then Libra starts beating up Gemini. For while Gemini has the strength of two men, Libra can see despite being blind. And no, he’s not Daredevil. The comic captions dismiss that possibility.

He’s just a guy that does what Daredevil do but evil and while wearing short shorts.

Having beaten up Gemini, Libra ties him up and finds the good Gemini twin (I wanna say Lawrence?) in the trance his brother forced him into.

He then slaps him awake.

It took all my strength not to crudely photoshop “MY PARENTS ARE DEAD” into that.

He asks the good Gemini twin to imitate his brother and keep Taurus occupied while Libra steals’ the Star-Ship for some mysterious reason.

Being the good twin, Lawrence? promises to try not to let Libra down.

BACK IN SPACE! Remember how Vision said that they needed to work together to get back to Earth? Well, the Avengers have changed their minds during the scene break. Now all they want is for Zodiac to not get in their way while they do all the work.

Vision will guard the pile of boxes Don Blake is hiding behind. Scarlet Witch will use her hex sphere to temporarily create a way through the force field. And Iron Man will fly outside to manually push the space warehouse back to Earth.

Because he has a self-enclosed oxygen supply and rocket boots. He’s the only man for the job.

And oh cool, he spots Mjolnir just floating in space.

Since they’re in micro gravity, Mjolnir is weightless and Iron Man can carry it without being worthy - a loophole that would anger many when Red Hulk used it down the line.

Of course, Iron Man is just loopholing to bring Mjolnir with them so its not stranded in orbit forever.

Anyway. The plan. Since the space warehouse is weightless, it should be no trouble for him to use the propulsion of his foot-jets to push the building rocket back to Earth. If his air supply doesn’t run out. And if his power supply doesn’t run out. And if the strain doesn’t cause problems with his heart.

Yup. No trouble at all.

Although the trouble comes from a different direction that Iron Man should really have seen coming.

When they get closer to Earth, Mjolnir becomes more affected by Earth’s gravity and Iron Man can no longer lift it when it pins his wrist against the top of the space warehouse.

Which means he’s trapped and can’t move around to slow the ship’s descent. Which means that they’re going to burn up in reentry. All because Tony wanted to be a good bro and fetch his bro’s enchanted croquet mallet.

Common courtesy will be our deaths, time after time.

But not this time because something suddenly slows down the space warehouse - making everyone inside comically slam to the floor.

Libra in the Zodiac Star-Cruiser (I thought it was Star-Ship?) has caught the space warehouse in a secondary force field and lowers it safely to the ground.

But why?

You’re going to have to wait for that because we need to check in on Mantis and Swordsman.

Swordsman is feeling pretty shitty. He wasn’t there when she got hurt and now all he can do is sit at her bedside and hope that being beside her will help. And think secret doubts that she would rather the Vision be at her side. And that Vision himself might be into her.

Insecure paranoia is not helped when Mantis bolts to awareness and proclaims “Vision! He’s in trouble! This one must help!”

And then she runs out of the room.

Swordsman tries to stop her and have her rest longer but he collapses, still too weak from his own injuries. Just falling to the floor and thinking sad thoughts about how she is going to Vision.

And now we check back in with Zodiac HQ where Taurus is having an intimate conversation with who he thinks is Gemini.

See, Gemini is the only one of the non-revolting Zodiac who knows that Taurus is secretly Zodiac’s financier Cornelius Van Lunt.

Good Twin Lawrence? tries to bluff that their friendship has seen them through a lot but Van Lunt only showed his face to Joshua Link the previous day when he visited him in jail.

And like a person uncomfortable that they just had a personal conversation with the wrong person, Van Lunt punches the fake Gemini out and bellows in rage.

Capricorn and Virgo show up to find out what the dealio and Taurus tells them to spread out and find Libra and the real Gemini. Someone is playing funny business and they’re dead when Taurus gets his hands on them.

Except not. Because the Star-Cruiser-Ship lands and there’s Libra. Also the renegade houses of Zodiac and the Avengers.

But Taurus didn’t get to be the leader of Zodiac and a highly successful amoral businessman without some leadership abilities.

With barely any effort he convinces the renegade houses to side with him and kill the Avengers. After all, the best they can hope for with the Avengers is to be thrown in jail at the end of this anyway.

And yeah. This is reasonable enough. In answer, Aries blasts Thor with the Star-Blazer blaster.

And is there much to say? Straight up fights between the Avengers and Zodiac tend to be a stomp, one way or another. And this is an issue with ‘final battle’ on the cover and there’s only three pages left.

So. Yeah.

The Avengers kick butts. Scarlet Witch even gets back at Virgo for wanging her in the noggin. And the whole time, the Avengers are saying stuff like “their faithlessness must needs be ruthlessly met!” and “‘Never switch horses in midstream’ -- especially twice!”

Vision and Van Lunt Taurus have a sort of face off. Vision dodges a Star-Blazer blast and solar beams Taurus into a pool of water.

And then he quips. Twice!

“Your solar power can’t match my stellar energy!” “If you read that in your stars, Van Lunt, you need a new horoscope!”

“Perhaps the water of your pool will cool your temper”

Although, that one is spoiled somewhat when Van Lunt instantly starts drowning. The guy cannot swim at all. Him escaping the flood that seemingly killed him in issue #81 was apparently a fluke of luck.

But Vision hesitates instead of jumping in to save the drowning supervillain.

And then Mantis out of nowhere jumps into the pool to save the drowning Van Lunt.

And Thor is really disappointed in Vision over this. “We have won our battle, Avenger -- but thine actions rob the deed of any honor!”

Scarlet Witch begs him to tell her why he froze up (the second time after the quicksand when they fought Dormammu).

And Vision... just does not know! He half-remembers a thing but its just replaced by fear that his computer brain is malfunctioning. Clearly this will be unpacked further going forward. And later retconned.

Since Vision can’t explain his actions, Thor goes for the runner up and demands Libra explain himself.

Libra admits that saving the Avengers was a mistake.

“You see, I thought Mantis had been trapped with you -- and I am her father!”

DUN DUN DUN!!!

Clearly that will be unpacked further going forward! Like, the very next issue.

But since we’re still on this issue, let’s talk about Zodiac.

Boy are they disappointing. They’re all top crime bosses. The top of their respective organizations. But most of the times, they all happily play henchmen to whoever the boss is - Scorpio or Aries or Taurus.

So they all have unique costumes but they mostly play mook.

Its not even clear whether they have their own powers.

Gemini does - having the strength of two men and being able to psychically possess his twin.

Taurus evidentally has some kind of superstrength - he beat Aries in a headbutt contest and he was able to hold his own against Red Wolf, a pretty buff young man with his own vague powers.

Sagittarius was supposedly the weapon designer but then it was revealed that Taurus designed most of their weaponry.

Libra is blind but has Daredevilian senses (and later demonstrates a sort of scales-themed power).

But the most of them are just people in weird costumes who exist to have their asses kicked by the Avengers. Not even sure why crime bosses would be fighting the Avengers on their own. Don’t they have crime organizations to call on for mooks and stuff?

Zodiac could be a really cool group if more was done to flesh out and differentiate the members. You could get a really good long story arc out of revealing information about the Zodiac organization little by little. Having the members show up and be tough guys one by one.

They’re not just strong people. They’re twelve people that scraped and clawed their way to the top. Zodiac is twelve peers who have pooled the resources of twelve powerful criminal organizations for plots that could threaten the world.

On a good day.

There’s so much you could do with the Zodiac theme in terms of personality and goals and abilities.

Not gonna lie though. Zodiac is pretty great if you read them as a doofy bunch of criminal larpers who take the premise super seriously while they also conduct crimes.

Maybe Zodiac is better in other books. But in the Avengers’ book, they’ve always been a bit lackluster.

But hey! Mantis backstory next time! If the first panel of next issue doesn’t have Mantis screaming “That’s not true! That’s impossible!” I may quit.

But hey! Consider following @essential-avengers. I’ve been cleaning up older posts and archiving them there. Via reblogs.