#and hey. could you imagine a spider man with a fighting style more based in lucha

[pansexualkiba]

i’ve only known about Arácnido Jr. for a day and a half but if anything ever happened to him I’d kill the entire Marvel Universe and then myself

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #239: Late Night of the Super-Stars!

January, 1984

1984! Can’t wait to make a bunch of Orwell jokes that are poorly thought out and land poorly!

But I guess it’ll have to wait since we’re on Late Night with David Letterman in this issue.

This sure is an interesting turn of events. Although the team we see on the cover doesn’t seem to be the actually active roster. They’re over in the corner box turned away - either from shame or because they’re off doing their own thing.

Because its Assistant Editors’ Month!

A fun-sounding non-event. Although, looking it up, very few books that were considered part of the event actually did anything with it beyond a slightly goofy issue box on the cover.

So we’re going to see some Avengers go on a talk show today.

Superheroes as celebrities! What a novel idea.

Anyway, I learned an interesting detail about the cover that would have totally missed me. The checkerboard strip at the top was a hallmark of DC comics around this time. And the round MC logo in the top right is an obvious spoof of the DC logo from this time.

It’s not much more than a goof for this book but the Captain America book released for Assistant Editors’ Month also had the checkerboard and logo and was a style parody of DC comics.

Last times: Vision went into a robo-coma from walking into an invisible dome created by Annihilus and only recently recovered the ability to talk. New Avenger Starfox hooked Vision up to ISAAC the Titan computer and overclocked Vision’s robot brain so now he can project himself as a hologram and has an even faster computer brain. At the end of Avengers #238, the Avengers got a call from Tigra about some nonsense going on in San Francisco involving Spider-Woman.

Meanwhile, Hawkeye got a whole miniseries all to himself where he met Mockingbird, lost his job at Cross Technological, his girlfriend revealed that she was paid to date him and also hated him, he teamed up with Mockingbird to uncover an evil scheme by Crossfire to kill all superheroes, Hawkeye lost his hearing by putting an ultrasonic arrowhead in his mouth but foiled the scheme plot, and married Mockingbird. He’s had a very busy week or so!

This time: Hawkeye comes back to the Avengers Mansion to show off his cool new wife.

Hawkeye: “Hey, everybody -- your wanderin’ boy Hawkeye has come home... And you’ll never guess what I’ve gone and done!”

I can just imagine Mockingbird replying “Me” with the biggest shit-eating grin. She feels the sort to do that.

When Hawkeye and Mockingbird arrive there’s no one to greet them except the floating disembodied hologram head of the Wizard of Vizh.

Hawkeye has also made the decision, for some reason, to not wear the hearing aid that Mockingbird got him so he can’t hear what Vision is saying when he compliments his new costume.

Mockingbird introduces herself for Hawkeye and Vision tells the two to join him in the medical labs so they can catch up.

When they arrive, Vision raises his volume so Hawkeye can hear and recaps everything that’s happened to lead up to him becoming a robot in a tube who can hologram around.

Vision: “[Starfox] set up a direct link between ISAAC, the world-computer of Titan, to better diagnose my condition. But, instead, my brain became overloaded with ISAAC’s energy-information matrix --!”

Hawkeye: “And you became several with the universe, right?”

Vision: “‘Several with the’ --? Oh -- hah-ha! Very witty!”

Overclocking his brain seems to have done wonders for Vision’s sense of humor.

He even finds Hawkeye funny now.

Vision also explains where the dickens everyone else is (because Hawkeye asks him where the dickens they are. Its so weird for Hawkeye to say dickens).

Jarvis was given the day off to visit his mother, Captain America and Thor are both busy with nonsense in their own books, and the rest of the Avengers are off to San Francisco because of that call from Tigra.

Hawkeye offers to fly out and give them a hand, which Vision declines since they’ll call if they need help.

Instead he asks Hawkeye how he met Mockingbird and Hawkeye recaps the miniseries in only five panels.

He’s better at this than I am...

Hawkeye: “Anyway, Mockingbird and I had made a pretty good team -- so when it was all over, we ran off and got married!”

Mockingbird: “What can I say? The big lug needed somebody to keep him out of trouble!”

That’s the task of a lifetime, Bobbi. But good for you two! Cute couple is what I say.

Vision: “Marvelous! I hope you two will be as happy together as Wanda and I have been!"

Vision and Scarlet Witch probably are the healthiest superhero marriage of this time.

Vision asks if Hawkeye and Mockingbird intend to stay in the mansion, which they do. But it’s cool because Mockingbird has security clearance from working with SHIELD so they won’t need to bother Mr. Sikorsky and agitate his hatred of living in the superhero genre.

After Hawkeye takes Mockingbird off on a tour of the mansion, Vision receives a call from his brain brother, Wonder Man.

Who, very reluctantly, is coming to the Avengers with hat in hand. So to speak.

Wonder Man: “Okay. Here’s the situation -- my acting career hasn’t been going anywhere lately! So my agent, without my approval -- used the fact that I’m a reserve Avenger to get me a booking on David Letterman’s show, and now, they want me to bring other Avengers along with me! My agent really put me in a tight spot on this one. I hate to impose, but -- !”

Vision: “It’s no imposition at all, Simon! I’ll personally call the network and confirm the Avengers’ appearance!”

Wonder Man: “You’re sure it’s no trouble?”

Vision: “None whatsoever! After all, we have many Avengers -- !”

You sure do! Not as many as you’ll have by the No Surrender days. But still.

Also, I love this can-do attitude from you, Vision!

This is a pretty low priority in terms of fighting crime and whatnot but Vision is like THIS IS EXTREMELY DOABLE, I AM THE INTERNET.

Although imagine how sad it is from Wonder Man’s perspective. His agent put him on the spot pulling sorta-rank to get Simon some media attention but the media is like ‘ok but do you have something better?’

This man is trying to improve his career and the David Letterman show looked at him and said ‘ok but what else have you got?’

Oof!

Anyway, Vision uses the superpower of being wired into the phone system to call up some extra Avengers who aren’t very busy right now.

He calls Black Panther, Beast, and Black Widow.

Their varied responses are pretty funny.

But Black Panther’s is probably the best. He interrupts a meeting with his advisers to take the call and then he’s like ‘yeah sure I can drop everything I’m doing to appear on David Letterman!’

T’Challa really would rather be doing anything but kinging.

Beast initially protests that he’s too busy with the Defenders to just jump on some Avengers business but...

Beast: “The Letterman show? Hey, why didn’t you say so?”

And Black Widow is unbusy sunbathing at the Waldorf Towers while between missions. She doesn’t really want to make a television appearance (it’s kinda counterproductive for a spy, I would guess) but Vision mentions something that has Natasha agree to be there.

Based on what happens later, I guess Vision mentions that Hawkeye will be there.

A couple hours later, ELSEWHERE, well if it isn’t our ol’ friend and punchline Fabian Stankowicz!

Remember this goofus? He attacked the Avengers right when everyone was feeling bad about Hank Pym? Iron Man easily beat him up while the rest of the Avengers breezed on by. Or when he attacked Wasp’s cool superheroine brunch? Which was a hilariously terrible idea because he got between She-Hulk and breakfast foods. Also, nobody took him very seriously there either.

I guess the Avengers didn’t bother to press charges either time because he’s not in jail. He’s at his home working on some machines while his dad criticizes how he spends his time.

Dads, amirite?

Granted, what he’s criticizing is Fabian’s tendency to pick fights with superheroes. And... granted. Not a great use of his time.

But apparently Fabian can afford all the robot suits he keeps attacking the Avengers with because he won the lottery.

So he has a pretty good position to shoot down his dad’s protests, really.

Dad Stankowicz: “Fabian, I’m glad your poor mother didn’t live to see what’s become of you... It would’ve broken her heart!”

Fabian Stankowicz: “Aw, gimme a break, old man!”

Dad Stankowicz: “‘Old man’? This is the way you talk to your father?”

Fabian Stankowicz: “What do you want, egg in your beer? Was it you who won the state lottery and got us out of the Bronx? No, it was me! I won the money, and I’ll say how it’s spent! And I’m gonna use it to make a name for myself! Me... Fabian Stankowicz!”

And when Fabian sees an ad saying that the Avengers will be on Late Night with David Letterman, he has an idea. A wonderful, awful idea.

Also, who the heck puts egg in beer?

I’ve looked it up and I get that it’s a saying but apparently the saying is based on people actually doing that! Why??

The next afternoon, at 30 Rockefeller Plaza, where the show 30 Rock and this issue of Avengers both happen, this issue of Avengers is happening.

A CBS page shows Black Widow to the green room where the other Avengers are already waiting.

Also: I know that it’s all the Avengers who weren’t busy (even though T’Challa really should have been?) but this is a fun roster.

Hawkeye, Wonder Man, Beast, Black Widow and Panther?

Heck, I could imagine this being the Marvel equivalent of the Justice League International team, one more geared for some light-hearted comedy?

Except we’re in 1984 so this predates that.

But you have Beast and Wonder Man, your comedy duo best buds. You have Black Panther and Widow being varying levels of straight man to the nonsense. And you have Hawkeye who can be very serious or very ridiculous depending on how hot-headed he’s being at the time.

This team could be hilarious!

(Avengers International. Think about it, Marvel.)

Outside the green room, our ol’ buddy ol’ punching bag, Fabian Stankowicz is in disguise as a repairman with a mustache as cover for installing some devices in the studio. Then he puts on a beard to disguise himself as Perfectly Normal Bearded Audience Member.

I appreciate his intiative although I doubt any of the present Avengers are gonna recognize this guy on sight even if he wore a t-shirt that said “I’m Fabian Stankowicz.”

Fabian Stankowicz: Boy, this is gonna be so sweet, especially after the way the Avengers made me look like a chump those last two times! This time, it’s gonna be different! This time, I’m going to have a ringside seat for the defeat of the Avengers!

Or at least the Avengers that were available to show up on the Tonight Show with David Letterman.

Y’know, I like Fabian Stankowicz. He’s just smart enough to be dangerous and dumb enough to be entertaining. I think there’s a place for an ineffectual doofus with delusions of grandeur in the foe Rolodex of any superhero team.

Meanwhile, back with said Whoever Was Availables, Black Widow and Mockingbird are meeting for the first time.

And luckily, they’re both mature adults who don’t act like you’d usually see in media when the missus meets the ex.

So with a fight to the death NOT happening in the green room, Hawkeye gets to asking Mockingbird about the errand he sent her on which was why she wasn’t in the room when Black Widow first showed up.

Presumably using every bit of skill in espionage at her disposal, Mockingbird got a copy of the questions Letterman will be asking during the show.

Because Hawkeye will be fielding the questions and he has made the decision not to wear his hearing aid. And has also made the follow-up decision that not only will he not be hearing anything tonight, he’s also definitely going to be fielding all the questions.

Mockingbird: “Why won’t you wear a hearing aid?”

Hawkeye: “No can do, sweetheart! The fewer people who know I’m half-deaf, the safer it’ll be for all of us!”

(I don’t really get this reasoning but okay, man)

Mockingbird: “Then why not let someone else be spokesman? This is supposed to be Wonder Man’s big night!”

Hawkeye: “Sure... but I’m the only active Avenger here! Give me a kiss for luck!”

Not for nothing does Mockingbird think that he can be impossible sometimes. And she’s only known him a couple weeks! She’s already come to the correct read on him in that short a time.

David Letterman starts the show with an opening monologue.

David Letterman: “Tonight... What can I say? Tonight is something really special! In fact, it’s probably the most special show we’ve had since our 'camping with Barry White’ program! Yes... hard to believe, isn’t it? But with all due respect to Mr. White -- I think that this show may be our greatest ever. But, as they say, ‘that’s for history to decide!’”

Imagine being a talk show host and getting to introduce the Avengers. Pretty neat.

I like that bandleader Paul Shaffer is wearing a Captain America jersey. Although that makes me wonder once again what merchandising is like for Marvel superheroes. 

Clearly it exists but did Cap sign off on a jersey mimicking his costume? Does he see any money from that? Or at least did he get to say that all profit goes to such and such charity?

Letterman introduces the Avengers for the audience.

(Fun how you can get a sense of their personality just by how they’re sitting. It’s the little touches that make a comic fun.)

Hm, I wonder how well the marvel public follows superhero roster changes.

I know that sometimes new Avengers rosters have gotten attention with press conferences and everything. And sometimes they just swap in and out members as personal business comes up.

Some of the people in the audience may not even recognize Black Widow as an Avenger. Becaaaaause, wait I don’t think she ever was one. She’s assisted on some missions and they were ready to vote her in when she vanished to go do a SHIELD mission.

Okay, better example, does anyone remember that Wonder Man- oh wait, he very publicly burst out of a crate in front of Avengers Mansion during press furor over a roster change. Also, he’s a pre-successful actor.

Black Pan- no, no. He was framed for killing the Avengers his very first day on the team. There was a manhunt.

And of course, everyone knows Beast was on the Avengers. He got around. Romantically.

David Letterman mentions that this group isn’t even all the Avengers because some couldn’t make it (read: were busy with more important things).

Which leads to a funny cut to audience where Beard Fabian is annoyed that this group is who got caught in his revenge scheme.

Fabian Stankowicz: Blast it, where’s Captain America? Where’s that &#%$ She-Hulk?

You better wash your brain out with soap before She-Hulk finds out you thought  that about her. She’s dunked people into the garbage for lesser offenses.

Beast decides that this Late Night interview is the best time to reveal that he’s quitting as a reservist Avenger to focus on his version of the Defenders.

Letterman: “Wow, that was some bombshell the Beast just dropped, Hawkeye! You’re group spokesman... What do you think of that?”

Hawkeye: First question -- ! “Well, David, the Avengers is a non-profit organization, fully sanctioned as a peace-keeping force by just about ever international organization you could think of!”

Letterman: “Eh-heh-heh! You don’t say!”

Oh god, Beast’s bombshell messed up the order of questions and Hawkeye is firmly sticking to script because he can’t hear.

My god, Hawkeye.

Letterman: “You know, I was just about to ask you something along those lines. You wouldn’t be psychic by any chance -- ?”

Hawkeye: “No, of the founding members, only the Wasp and Thor remain as active Avengers.”

Letterman: “You little dickens! You’ve been peeking at my question sheet, haven’t you? All right, I might as well as my next question which is... ‘I hear you were recently married! Is that true?’”

Hawkeye: “Yes, Dave... just a few weeks ago!”

Letterman: “How about that!”

Did Hawkeye just think they were going to blaze through the questions? Even if Beast hadn’t preempted the first question, did Hawkeye think that there would be no follow-up questions? No discussion?

I’ve been on the fence on whether the jokes about Hawkeye not hearing the questions are poking fun at deaf people or at Hawkeye and yeah, Hawkeye is definitely the butt of this joke.

Fabian Stankowicz loses patience for this very dry question and answer session and decides to start his attack nnnnow.

One of the studio cameras is secretly A GIANT LASER. Because. And it blasts the stage.

Mockingbird is watching this on a tiny screen in the Green Room and goes out to help only to run afoul of some kind of mechanized steamrolling dumpster.

Back in the studio, Wonder Man has found his new nemesis.

Move over, Grim Reaper. You’re one-dimensional and everyone especially me hates you. Hello, laser blasting camera.

Wonder Man: “Let me at that thing, Beast! It’s ruining my guest-shot!”

Beast: “You’ll have to wait your turn, Wondy! It just shredded my favorite shirt!”

Priorities!

You know, this was supposed to be about Wonder Man and he only got to say two words during the interview portion.

Dangit, Hawkeye.

Apppppparently, the audience is just assuming that this is all part of the show. A cliche, sure. But it makes sense.

Would you really have the Avengers on a talk show and just have them talk? That’s a waste of perfectly good superheroes.

Also.... apparently? David Letterman used to run things over with a steamroller a lot? So a steamroller looking contraption crashing through the wall to attack the Avengers does seem like something that might happen?

Also, Paul Shaffer decides to just roll with it so as not to panic the audience.

The show must go on, after all.

The steamroller also starts firing missiles at Beast, as ya do.

Beast: “Hunter missiles? I don’t believe this is happening on network tv!”

Wonder Man tries punching the steamroller to no avail but which does give Black Panther a chance to pull out the tried and true “Wonder Man’s fists carry as much bludgeoning power as Thor’s hammer!”

Y’know, originally, that was a flex that set Wonder Man as a threat to the team but after he joined, that never really seemed to actually be the case.

Imagine if Wonder Man always hit as hard as Thor’s hammer? Like, he’s minding his own business and then the Gorr the God Butcher arc happens and Wonder Man is like ‘huh, why do I suddenly feel like my punches could destroy planets light years away? That’s a very specific feeling!’

Fabian Stankowicz takes advantage of the spectacle chaos to walk out of the audience, plunk himself down into one of the interview chairs, remove his entirely convincing beard, and introduce himself to David Letterman as the guy who is definitely to blame for all the action setpieces going on.

Letterman, like Paul Shaffer, just decides to roll with it. Humor the guy. Ask him why he’s doing this.

Fabian Stankowicz: “Why? To prove it could be done! To show what one incredibly gifted individual can accomplish...”

Letterman: “... To get your name in the papers?”

Fabian Stankowicz: “That too! After all, the Avengers have battled Zodiac... the Masters of Evil... Doctor Doom! I want to make as big a name for myself as those guys!”

Letterman: “Seems to me that ‘Stankowicz’ is already a pretty big name!”

Badum pish?

He asks Fabian to explain all of his devices and Fabian is happy too.

I mean, he’s being a supervillain for the notoriety and supervillains already love to hear themselves talk so he’s double dipping into the ‘I will exposit everything at the drop of a hat’ well.

And imagine, Fabian built all this stuff in his garage with lottery winnings.

The steamroller thing isn’t just a steamroller, it’s also got a gravity generator. Which, I guess, makes sense if you’re expecting to go against a She-Hulk or a Thor. A regular steamroller isn’t going to do more than annoy.

Wonder Man fighting so hard against the roller makes it increase gravity so much that Simon and steamroller just fall through the floor.

Hm. I wonder what’s filmed in the studios the floor down. They’re about to have an exciting guest star in that steamroller.

Black Widow (still tangling with the laser camera) points Hawkeye towards Fabian. Although she has to shout and Hawkeye still doesn’t really get it but is happy to shoot an arrow at someone that Black Widow is vigorously gesturing at.

Alas, Fabian is one of those prepared villains we’ve been hearing so much about.

He built a force field too, and the arrow just bounces right off.

(Hey, uh, Hawkeye? What kind of arrow was that? Because it looks technological and you just shot it at this guy’s head)

Truly, can nothing stop this insidious yet not very menacing criminal genius?

Oh, I guess David Letterman can.

Knocks him out with a big knob.

It’s just plain big.

Prop comedy, amirite?

The audience seems to love it anyway. I looked up a clip of the big doorknob and it didn’t meet with this much applause. Maybe its because it was used to do violence this time?

Was the giant door knob a beloved part of Late Show lore?

David Letterman: “I guess that’ll teach you not to mess with David Letterman!”

That’s a line with weird energy to it.

Anyway, it would be a sad day for this random assemblage of backup Avengers if they were upstaged completely by David Letterman and his big knob.

Black Widow and Hawkeye finally manage to blow up the laser camera.

I’m not sure why it took them this long. Sure, the camera could apparently move, based on motion lines in previous panels. But the world’s best marksman couldn’t nail it sooner?

But the important thing is that eventually, they did do it.

The floor starts rumbling as well as Wonder Man flies back up with his belt-jets with the trashed roller and a shit-eating grin.

Wonder Man: “Sorry this took so long -- But I guess I’m a little rusty at tackling big hunks of tin like this!”

Fabian Stankowicz: Rusty? It took me a month to design that, and he totaled it in less than five minutes!

But since everyone’s focus is on Wonder Man (for once), Fabian tries to sneak away.

And runs smack dab into Mockingbird who has a lot of justified anger over almost getting run over by the roller earlier. But she just throws him over to some police that have finally shown up.

Letterman tells the audience not to try any of this at home, just in case any of them have gravity-generator osmium steel steamrollers lying around? And cuts to commercial, presumably so that some basic tidying can happen.

Hours after the filming of the show concludes, the Avengers TV Squad have returned to the mansion, with Vision wishing he could have taken part of this assistant editors month special issue.

Vision: “What became of Stankowicz?”

Black Panther: “Well, with all the charges NBC is leveling against him, the only machinery he’ll be dealing with for some time will be in the New York State Prison library!”

So, he attacked Avengers Mansion. He attacked Wasp’s superheroine brunch at the Van Dyne residence. That’s all well and good. He attacks the Avengers again in the NBC studio and the man is going to jail forever.

I guess the Avengers really haven’t been bothering to press charges on Fabian. But a massive media corporation isn’t so kind.

Since Hawkeye is technically the active Avenger (even though Vision’s hologram head is RIGHT there) he has to follow up on the thing Beast said about quitting the Avengers reservists.

Beast says its not right for him to be an Avengers reservist if he’s also trying to turn “the Defenders into a for-real group!”

Uh, Defenders fans? Wasn’t the appeal of the Defenders them being the not-team team? How did people feel about Beast going ‘ok but what if they were more like other teams instead?’

Meanwhile, Wonder Man is pacing, waiting for the Late Show to come on so he can see how he did when WOMP WOMP the show is interrupted by a special news bulletin.

Wonder Man is aghast that his big break isn’t even airing but when the special news bulletin is about a burning chemical barge, his hero instincts that he has suddenly swell up.

Wonder Man: “This... This is awful! What’re we standing around for? Let’s do something! We’re Avengers, aren’t we?”

Black Panther: “That we are, Simon! Let’s go!”

Beast also decides, hey, one more time won’t hurt and accepts his Avengers ID card back from Hawkeye.

And as they’re headed off to the Quinjet, Beast has a hopeful note for Wonder Man.

Beast: “Hey, Wondy -- remember, there’s a three-hour time difference between the coasts! If we can get this mess cleaned up in time, maybe some folks in California will still see you get your big break!”

Wonder Man: “And if we don’t -- ?”

Beast: “Well, that’s show biz!”

Pretty enjoyable issue! Like, sure, its a good for Assistant Editor’s Month. But if you’re going to do a goof, then you can do worse than bringing back Fabian Stankowicz for a third time’s not the charm.

Speaking of charm, having the Avengers appear on a talk show is a charming concept. Not a whole lot was done with it except the joke about Hawkeye answering the wrong questions but its still a fun idea.

And having the Avengers off busy lets us brush off some Also Avengers that haven’t been in play for a bit. That’s a fun idea that I wouldn’t mind seeing some more.

Have the reservists called in because of a situation happening when the Avengers are already busy.

Heck, I’d like to see a situation where the silliest and least regarded Avengers are the only ones available to respond to an emergency. Have them bounce off each other as a group. Maybe they’re mutually aware of their bad reputations.

Anyway, I expected this issue would be ridiculous but it was also enjoyable. Didn’t mind it at all. And (though by a different writer) the Hawkeye miniseries was very enjoyable too.

This is just feeling like a good era for the Avengers team.

Next time, apparently The Ghost of Jessica Drew. So she’s some kind of ghost spider? Nobody tell Carol Danvers.

Follow @essential-avengers​ because I typed this post partially while a cat was lying on my wrist. That’s dedication. Which you can’t spell without cat. Also, like and reblog if you think its likeable and rebloggable.

[catharrington]

I don't know if you have time/desire for more catboy but if you do...

Steve getting something gross stuck in his fur (maybe Billy's bubble gum or some candy?) and Steve's trying to contort himself to clean it, but it's in a spot he just can't quite reach so they have to figure out how to get it off when a bath just makes it worse.

Time? None at all. Desire?? Overflowing with it, babe!!

Oh my gosh let me take this opportunity to enjoy some Halloween time!! I imagine cat boy Steve loves Halloween because hey free built in costume he always wears! Him and other cat people just have the best All Hallows ever!

Steve didn’t have much when he first came to Billy’s, just the ears on his head and the collar that got unceremoniously dumped into the trash can. Billy convinced him to go shopping together once, and Steve didn’t care for it much. Felt far too close to a date, too close to what he wanted from Billy— but not what the other wanted from him.

So soon billy just started leaving money on the coffee table where he could. Small amounts. Just enough for Steve to use it to feel some sort of independence. Because billy was stepping far too over the line— no way Steve actually wanted to be in a serious relationship with the guy he nicknamed ‘kidnapper’.

Halloween was different, Halloween was everything goes. Steve had gotten a job at a library just down the Main Street of town, not a 5 minute walk from their apartment. He would sit behind the counter tapping his long nails across a hard back book, most days, using his pointy ears and flicking tail to point out teenagers making too much noise. And the older woman who worked there all fawned over him.

He took the later evening shift, he said it was to help the old bats out, also I’m by myself! Don’t have to worry about them touching my ears or calling me ‘kitty’ to my face!

He would stumble home every day with his ears low on his floppy brown hair, and his shoulder bag filled with books across his chest.

Billy told him he shouldn’t be walking that late at night, don’t care how far, makes me worried someone might want a pretty cat like you?

And Steve would laugh, strip down to a pair of flannel pajama bottoms he stole from Billy, giggling the whole time, and lay down so his head is on Billy’s chest. Let those rough from work hands relax the tension in the muscles around his ears.

They didn’t talk much, didn’t need to. They felt like two jigsaw puzzle pieces meeting. And those don’t have to talk to know they fit.

Halloween was the first time Billy got to see the side of Steve that wasn’t soft sweaters or library books. Wasn’t a fierce independence acting as a wall againt the trauma of abandonment. Of abuse.

Halloween was the first time Billy got to see Steve in a skin tight black cat suit. Designed for cat boys and bought because there’s a bar right down the block from the library and it’s free drinks for cats tonight! I’ve just got to go, Billy, that’s so rad!

Halloween was when Billy followed Steve around, not the other way around. Pulled out an old leather jacket he was surprised still fit him at all. Didn’t talk about the way Steve was going for an all black look but didn’t make any move to take off the brown leather collar Billy got him as an apology gift.

Didn’t talk about the way the wet look pleather on Steve’s cat suit matched. Didn’t mention they looked like a couple. That Billy might hinder Steve if he’s looking to ride a dick that night.

No, he just smiled and walked arm in arm down the block as the sun set. Pretty oranges and red filling the sky. Leaves crunching underfoot the same color as Steve’s pretty hair, all styled up with hairspray and perfect as could be.

The building is lit up with strings of bright purple, a lime green naked bulb sits in the front door where a bouncer stands and collects Billy’s head fee while Steve just flicks his tail to get it.

The bar is crowded with ghouls, and goblins, witches line the bar with their pointy hats. Decorated with arching white spider webs.

Billy knows Steve really only drinks wine because it actually tastes good unlike the piss Billy drinks, so he ain’t surprised when he orders some candy-apple monstrosity. Laps it up with his devilish pink tongue when he gets it. Catches Billy watching over the rim of his tall beer glass.

Steve downs the martini in one gulp before grabbing Billy around the hand, pulling him with a naughty glint in his eye towards the dance floor.

He turns around, moves Billy’s hands around his hips, purrs dance with me, nice and slow?

In a question that doesn’t sound like a question. His tail wrapping possessively around Billy’s legs. Billy groans back, right into the chocolate fudge swirl of his sensitive ear, set the pace, pretty cat, you know I’m good for it.

They let go for song after song, rolling into the next like their bodies roll. Billy’s belt buckle shimmering and catching against the fabric of Steve’s cat suit. Both a mess of sweat, dripping off their foreheads into their greedy open mouths. But they don’t care, they don’t stop.

Not until Steve’s ear gets yanked by another bar patron. Billy’s got his face burrowed into the side of Steve’s neck, drowning the way his wild flower and musk cologne always lingers on the plush leather, so he doesn’t realize anything happening until Steve’s hands move off his own. They lift from where they were cupped around Billy’s own to swat at another hand hovering around his head. His ears. They stayed at if risking another grope.

Steve hissed low and mean, warning three’s a company, creepy bastard! Now back off before I show you how quick I can bite off a dick. His voice nothing like Billy’s heard it. It made his head snap up so quick.

The guy wouldn’t let up, his face ruddy with alcohol and his golden Roman crown as lopsided as his sheet he’s trying to pass off as a costume. He pops a sucker out his mouth to reply. It’s made his whole mouth cherry red, Billy hates to look at it. Hates the words he’s spewing even more.

Steve only lets him get a sentence into his explanation about how a wild cat like you needs a firm hand before he’s shoving with two fingers into the center of the guy’s chest. Backing him up with a sharp nail that disappears into the fabric. Hopefully to leave a prick of blood.

Billy’s hand snaps forward of its own accord, pressing his huge palm flat into the guy’s shoulder and sending him stumbling backwards. He’s always up for a bar fight, knows a drunk bastard like this wouldn’t win always. He shouts out I warned you man, and now I gotta kick your ass! But doesn’t get that far.

He’s caught by two hands on the lapels of his jacket. Yanking him to the side where Steve’s turned from the ass hole. Watching Billy with those nervous dinner plate eyes again. All glittering gold and chocolate chips, making his knees weak. He’s not worth it, Steve purrs. And he’s right. The guy isn’t worth it. But Steve’s worth winning one bar fight and so, so much more. He’s worth the world to Billy. So he listens and follows as they dip to the bathroom.

It’s not until Billy’s coming out of the stall he used to take a leak does he notice that creepy bastard’s pop stuck in the fur of Steve’s tail. It’s amazing he doesn’t feel it, all glossy and red and clutching at the silky fur, but it’s a testimony to how thick his tail really is. Billy knows, he’s had the honor of running his fingers through it enough times.

He offers let me help, get some soap and try to scrub it out.

But Steve just laughs, bracing himself on the side of the cracking porcelain sink, lifting one leg up while the other held his weight, then twists around until the flat of his tongue can lick across the base of his tail. Gathers spit by licking and licking, grooming the pop off his fur inch by inch until it detached into his mouth.

He drops his leg from the sink with a sigh, a dreamy moany thing that Billy’s never going to get out of his head.

Watches as Steve rolls the pop around in his mouth a couple times, savoring the artificial cherry flavor. Savoring the way he wasn’t about to let that ass hole ruin his Halloween. Then he pressed to open the trash bin with one stomp before spitting the pop away.

Billy’s never been more turned on, never been more grossed out as the same time he’s so hard. Never wanted to taste the lingering bubble pop cherry flavor from another pair of lips before.

He simply leans back against another sink and whistles, says that was something else, Stevie, where all can you reach?

And Steve doesn’t tell him. Huffs out the side of his mouth while he rolls his eyes. Blushing pretty. Says I seriously need another drink now. And something not cherry!

And Billy follows him back to the bar, decorated for Halloween and dripping with spider webs, with a smile.

[theregoesjodariel]

Supergem: Writer’s Notes, Chapters 1-10

Hey gang! It’s a long time coming, but I finally got off my ass and finished the full notes for chapters 1-10 of Supergem, my big huge SU fic. I’m just about to finally get to work on the next batch of chapters, so I figured now would be a great time to look back on what I’ve done so far and provide some hopefully interesting commentary. Read on for that stuff!

Chapters 1-5

Right off the bat, chapter 1's title is a reference to the now-famous single-page retelling of Superman's origin story from All-Star Superman #1. There, "kindly couple" was used to summarize Clark Kent's crashlanding on Earth and discovery by the Kents.

Chapter 2 features what I feel would be the natural result of trying to fire bullets at a Gem: absolutely nothing. While Gems are obviously made of hard light and have been shown to be capable of being hurt by conventional means-- see Peridot getting Wile E. Coyote'd by the corrupted Gem in Beta-- I like to imagine that bullets are simply so small and so high-velocity that they'd pass through Gem bodies harmlessly. The science is probably wrong, but let me have my Rule of Cool.

Aside from sporting the amalgamated personalities of Lapis and Peridot, the two superheroes Turquoise takes the most inspiration from are Superman and Spider-Man. She shows at least some compassion for all people, even bad guys, like Superman, and she throws plenty of quips, especially when getting it handed to her, like Spidey.

As stated in the notes, I do not have a set design in mind for Turquoise, but I DID end up canonizing elements of a couple of designs I really like within the story. She sports the unique five-pointed hairstyle and orange suspenders of ahhween's design, as well as the cool cyan color scheme and water cape of cheerkitty1410's. Those two are just fantastic.

Axinite is a Gem OC of mine, a gladiatrix who fights in arenas on Homeworld, which function as the world's equivalent of recreational sports. A lot of the lore I have for her is regurgitated in the narration.

There are, of course, a couple of lines from "Stronger Than You" in chapter 4. There's the title, plus Turquoise correcting Val that the fight is one-on-two.

When I created the character, I actually completely failed to notice Val's considerable resemblance to Jasper, both in appearance (big, bulky and orange) and personality (haughty, judgmental). Naturally, when it hit me, I wrote in a nod to it in chapter 4.

Chapter 4 sees Turquoise and Val's fight spill into a mall, the very same one from Pearls' Night Out, currently my only other multi-chapter work. Rhiannon and Diane, both OCs from there, also make cameos (Rhiannon is the employee who points Turquoise in Val's direction, Diane is the journalist who interviews her on the street).

Pearl and Jasper handle city planning like military tacticians, because, well, they are military tacticians. They're also very overdramatic about it, natch.

Amazonite is a close friend of mine's gemsona, a former Crystal Gem who retired to become a seamstress after the corrupted Gems were all cured.

A couple of things involving Jasper take inspiration from the excellent Back to Beta. Pearl acts as Jasper's parole officer of sorts, rewarding her with Pearl Points for doing a good job and Jasper has an attachment to Earth music for its ability to say what cannot be said through simple speech, just like in there. Go read Back to Beta if you haven't, it's outstanding (it's also Jaspearl-- look at me go).

In one of many instances of Jodi Doing Too Much Research Into Things That Don't Matter, I actually broke out my copy of SU: Art & Origins to study its map of Beach City to determine just how nitpicky Pearl and Jasper were being.

Why do the Nephrites want to talk to Pearl? Maybe we'll find out....

Garnet "borrowed" Andy's plane to go to Empire City. That's a step up from "finding" a phone, don't you think?

I like to imagine that Bismuth has been rooting for Lapis and Peri to get together since the moment she met them. Her gaydar is just that good.

Believe it or not, I genuinely considered having Turquoise adopt a secret identity at one point during planning. I call myself out on it through Steven in chapter 5.

I knew I just couldn't do this story without Jasper since she is, in a way, the villain (or at least a villain) in Turquoise's origin story. As an abuse survivor, showing the ramifications of her and Lapis' time as Malachite as best I could was tantamount to the main storyline.

Chapters 6-10

The foreshadowing in chapter 6's identity should make Ms. Knight's identity a no-brainer for seasoned SU fans. No one spoil it if you figure it out, though!

Ronaldo is absolutely, positively, 100%, one of the guys who doesn't shower before the convention. That's so him it hurts.

The generally meta premise of chapters 6-9 were the result of me drafting them right after I got home from my city's local big convention, which I had a wonderful time at. I did my first ever cosplay (I was Pearl!) there and managed to hold decent conversations with Zach Callison, Deedee Magno Hall, Michaela Dietz, and Estelle. The layout of DelmarvaCon is even copied from the layout of that convention center.

In one of many moments of narrative intersecting with reality, I did some sleuthing and found that Paulette was, in her very brief on-screen appearance, voiced by Deedee Magno Hall, Pearl's voice actress. As said above, I met Deedee at the con I went to. You know how everyone on and off set never stops talking about how nice she is? They're not exaggerating, she's a fantastic person. Kim Tan is fully based on her, taking her name from a couple of Hall's other roles (Kim in Miss Saigon and a bit character named Lori Tan from an episode of Third Watch) and Lapis and Peridot's encounter with her is based on my own; while she didn't usher us ahead of the line to meet her, she did take pictures of my friend and I's cosplays for free when she was supposed to be charging for them. Seriously, nicest celebrity I've ever met.

Chapter 7 has Peridot riff that she can "observe 800 moving objects and compute their direction of travel," a phrase long used to describe Prowl in the Transformers franchise. It has no character significance here, I was on a Transformers kick at the time of writing.

The uncomfortable pulling sensation mentioned in chapter 7 is called an "itch," a callback to The Itch, the oneshot serving as prelude to this fic. There, "the itch" is used to refer to the deeply unsettling feeling a Gem gets when fitted with limb enhancers-- think the feeling you have or would have felt from a dentist fitting you with those awful rubber bands to help with the braces process, it's that kind of feeling. The feeling being given off by Ronaldo's control device is similar, "adding" to a Gem when nothing need be added.

The long opening narration in chapters 8 and 9 were inspired by the writing style of comic book writer Scott Snyder, who has a tendency to start, end, or intersperse his comics with long, expositional comparative musings on seemingly simple or mundane things (seriously, count the number of times one of his Batman comics opens with narration explaining the philosophical meaning behind the rocks used to make buildings in Gotham City).

The cost of Connie's sword is, as stated in the story proper, a rough estimate borne from around half an hour of research. While there are other pink stones that could've been used, I picked pezzotaite because of its extreme rarity, just to drive home how absurdly all-out Bismuth went on it.

Give Jasper a metal-style song in Season 6, Crewniverse!

I like to think Jasper and Greg would be good friends. Think about it: you've just found out your former moral enemies were not only led by, but had close relationships with, the person you spent your whole life idolizing. Who do you talk to about it? Why not the person who knew her more intimately than anyone else?

At the end of the Turquoise and Steven segment in chapter 10, the two sit down to watch Crying Breakfast Friends' extra-length season finale, in which a number of characters get new outfits. Now what could that be referencing?

The narration of Jasper's thoughts makes reference to the exiled Hessonite, antagonist of Steven Universe: Save the Light and a criminally underrated character.

I'd like to preface this point with a content warning for abuse, as I'll be discussing that a bit here.

So, as I mentioned briefly in the 1-5 notes, I'm an abuse survivor; I broke up with my abuser, who I had been with for just about 3 months, in February of this year. An acquaintance of mine has since drafted a document exhaustively detailing all of the bad shit they did for which receipts could be found, and my abuser has reacted with avoidance, victim blaming, and a refusal to apologize. I wasn't yet aware of just how in denial of her own mistakes they were when I wrote chapter 10, so I tried to write Pearl and Jasper's conversation as how I wished the conversation my abuser had with themselves would go, in a perfect world.

To get reflective for a moment, writing that has taught me, in a way I hadn't seen before, how Steven Universe's real, heartfelt redemption arcs, as fantastically-written and just generally good as they are, don't always apply in real-world scenarios. My shitty ex is not Jasper and they never will be.

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

One Punch Man 13 (S2 Ep 1) | Afterlost 1 | RobiHachi 1 | Kimetsu no Yaiba 2 - 3 | BSD 25 - 26 (S3 Eps 1 - 2) | King of Prism - Shiny 7 Stars 1 | Shield Hero 14 - 16 | Double Decker! EX 3 | Sarazanmai 2

The shows that have made it this season will be getting their tags...soon. Because I fell behind early in the season, trying to read ahead is nastier than it really should be...

Update: I forgot to roll out the tags...! Sorry about that.

One Punch Man 2 1

This season’s name…sounds counterintuitive, to say the least.

I love how Genos is carrying a box of hijiki (which looks like hair) and Saitama’s wearing a shirt that says “hair” (in kanji) all over it. It’s funny for a bald man and his “work of modern art”.

I never knew Genos was so blunt. Maybe because the last season was a good 2 – 3 years ago…and was by Madhouse and Shingo Natsume, and so this feels slightly different.

Oh, Sonic…! I didn’t realise how much I missed you! (Not to mention, you look hot with the off-the-shoulder shirt, y’know?)

“Enoki” is a type of mushroom.

Oh, Garou!...Oh wait, there isn’t much more of the episode left, is there…?

Afterlost 1

Oh great…this is the second time the subs don’t work on my device of choice. Then again, it seems to be a problem with the ad blocker and not the video…Okay, fiddling with the ad blocker worked.

Let’s play Spot the Main Character Amongst All the CGI Guys! Yay! (obviously sarcastic)

Without the volume…this OP is, to not put it lightly, s***.

Shoumetsu means “extinction”, not “lost”.

And the reward for Jankiest CGI this season belongs to…

Okay…this is stupid…if it f**ks up even more, I’m out of here!

I know the horned owl is your mascot, but that doesn’t mean you needed a real owl.

Waittttttttt…how did the scientists know Yuki’s father was responsible for this stuff anyway?

I feel like Takuya was shoehorned in. I mean, there’s a better example of this character type in Naofumi (Shield Hero).

This guy’s name, as we know it, is Geek. Wow (sarcastic). Also, I find it funny Takuya has a “ta” on his licence plate.

“…she’s just a package.” - Welp, you don’t get any more blatant than that for female denigration! I think Anime Feminist had a field day with this one.

Come to think of it, I saw some helmets back at Geek’s place but Takuya never seems to use one…

You had one job, Takuya…*sigh*

I swear I said a few previews ago I don’t like 1st person cam…no one ever listens to me, do they???

Not dis shitto agen!

Okay, enough complaining. It seems Yu-no wasn’t bad enough, so they had to produce something like the Chaos Dragon and Seisen Cerberus of old…

RobiHachi 1

It’s Takamatsu being Takamatsu again. Also… I forgot to mention this earlier, but…Taiga Umatani seems to be related to Kurari Umatani (who is credited for Boueibu), so…I wonder if it’s a collective writer’s name for Studio Comet, like Izumi Todo for Toei? The only thing that goes against that is the fact “Kurari” existed during the Diomedea days of Boueibu. Also Isekandar seems to be related to Yamato’s Iscandar (which Takamatsu seems to like, based on the fact he once used Matsumoto metres as a shorthand for being in space). If you don’t understand, Yamato’s endgoal contains a place called Iscandar and that’s by Leiji Matsumoto.

Okayyyyy…what are these rabbit creatures…? But yes, it does smack of Boueibu simply because the episode layout’s the same.

Hmm…? So Robby seems be En (the do-nothing life) in spirit, but Kinshiro in background, but also he runs away from his fortune. “Hmm” indeed.

Oh! That’s what this string of misfortunes reminds me of! The monsters of the day from Boueibu.

Acrymalide.

Hatchi is a Kinshiro in looks but an Atsushi by being a goody-goody.

Hmm…they actually bother to show girls now…apparently Takamatsu went to a boys-only school, which is why his original works focus on dudes (as in, you can pick out when Takamatsu is adapting someone else’s work because it has a heavier focus on girls as supporting characters).

Mechs and spaceships are probably two of the only ways I accept CGI…and you, Takamatsu sir, have just done it (the latter)!

Aw! Lookit his (Hatchi’s) face light up like a Beppu’s! It’s cute!

Hatchi getting out the hatch…lame, but still somewhat effectve on me (because that’s my wordplay game you’re playing, Takamatsu…!).

LOL, it’s a transforming mech. It seems my words from a few comments earlier were basically foretelling the future.

Kimetsu no Yaiba 2

Yikes, “Sakonji Urokodaki” has a lot of strokes…

My Little Sister Lives For Headpats…hey wait, don’t all anime kid sisters do that(?)

For some reason, I know the “Don’t Lose Your Way” meme from Kill la Kill and yet I’ve never…watched KlK…?(!)

I swore that was Giyu (it’s the haircut, I swear), but it’s a random demon…

When all you have is a hatchet…use your head. (LOL)

Ooh, nice eyecatch!

This is really black comedy, in a sense. (I remember this demon fight from the manga which is why I say that.)

Hmm…this wispy stuff wasn’t in the manga.

Come to think of it, I don’t know how Tanjiro got his scar…

If you squint really hard, you can see CGI Urokodaki and Tanjiro…

He probably has no footsteps because of his shoes. Or the fact he’s a ninja. Were there ninja in the Taisho era…? Update: Tanjiro has the same kind of shoes…oops.

Come to think of it, Daisuke from DN Angel had to dodge traps every day before he became Dark…(thinking of this because I reread the first volume of DN Angel recently)

Oh! Manga panel preview! That’s quite fun, really.

Kimetsu no Yaiba 3

I just really like how Tanjiro’s eyes grew larger with what was clearly resolution before he closed the door.

Why do the non-descript hunters look like Giyu too…?

I’ve never seen KnY so comedic…and that’s coming from someone who thought the Head Demon fight from last episode was funny.

Welp, this is…kinda interesting (<- says a fan of Touken Ranbu).

This letter writing…it reminds me of Kekkai Sensen somewhat.

This realistic water…it’s beautiful, but it looks like it came straight out of Niagara Falls. Is that…too realistic for anime?

“No matter…”

It’s a fox version of Speed of Sound Sonic! Then again, the real Sonic is around this season and probably won’t be happy about that comparison…

Is “that guy”…Giyu? Or the demon who slaughtered Tanjiro’s family?

Spider lilies! I didn’t mention it last time, but the symbolism of the spider lily makes the ED real cool.

Bungou Stray Dogs 26

I’v read the wiki page for Chuuya enough to know the next few eps involve the LN Fifteen, so even though I haven’t read a translation of the source material, I know some of the ins and outs of it already.

Ooh! Kitty! (If you’re a manga reader, you’ll know the cat’s significance.)

I think at this point in time, all viewers are used to Dazai’s bulls*** by now.

Is it just me…or did Bones use CGI for the city? It actually looks kind of good…! Sasuga Bones!

I have a fic that predates Fifteen and could be set in the same period (the fic’s vague enough that it could’ve been them at 15, 18 or even 12)…and basically the only thing I got wrong was the fact Chuuya doesn’t have his hat (because I wrote Chuuya as having his hat in the fic). Also, the banter is tenser than I imagined it, but that’s subjective and something only I, the fic writer, can compare.

I wonder who the yellow-tinted Ability holder is…? Update: That’s Randou. Spoke too soon.

There was a box in the subs…I wonder what symbol that might’ve been.

“…closest to the explosion.”

BSD 3 2

Oh, so that’s what Randou was for! I see now.

Chuuya may be OP, but he’s one heck of a fun character…also, he’s not as OP as Saitama, so…yeah.

Oh, the ED from last time is the OP. I should’ve known.

I like the almost storybook-style of this episode!

I thought Dazai was faking releasing the hostages…I was wrong.

Face-stealing aliens return! (They were around last ep too, I think, but they were harder to see then.)

Again, watch for the cat!

Well, with only one suspect (or 3, if you count the Sheep kids), it was quite easy to figure out one of them was behind it. I kind of suspected Randou, anyway, considering what I’ve learnt from all the mysteries I’ve read.

Because I was watching this episode with the volume down low (so I could hear the OP and ED), the volume really did work wonders for the plot this ep…!

King of Prism – Shiny 7 Stars 1

This is the final debut of the season, so basically how this and Shield Hero perform will decide what will stay and what will go. Oh, yeah…apparently this is the companion to a movie, but the movie and TV series have slightly different content.

This dude’s (the one at the very start’s) so grumpy.

…welp, I didn’t expect it to be that much CGI.

This chunk of exposition…makes me feel like I missed something. It was probably in the previous movies, come to think of it…

Basically, this is…uh, Makura no Danshi or Room Mate all over again??? I’m noping out of here…! Bye!

Shield Hero 14

I’m putting this on the chopping block…just so you know.

…uh, age gap romance? It’s hard to tell at this stage, but they (Filo and Melty) sure act like it is romance.

Welp, this survived the chopping block. “Raphtalia backstory” is a good enough reason to stick around for, isn’t it?

Double Decker! EX 3 (FINAL)

I always miss the OP when I’m not watching Double Decker, but I miss the ED even more…

I can’t believe they tried to get away with a Spirited Away parody…!

I can’t believe I get to see Dr Apple all buttered up like this…

I love how Kirill is censoring himself. (At least he can prove he’s not a girl, unlike Valery/Milla, whose entire shtick is the confusion between genders.)

Oh! I think I know the answer to the case already! It was Kirill’s soap, so Doug is the “killer”. But then…why is it Derick, of all people???

LOL, the angles were so reminiscent of Detective Conan…

Underwear-stealing sextuplets…? Why does that kind of sound like Osomatsu-san…?

Ahh…I really am going to miss this ED. See you next time!

Shield Hero 15

I never thought Raphtalia would be so angry…that’s Naofumi’s job.

Okay…it’s the age-old question: do demis listen with their animal ears or their human ears? Do they even have human ears??? (That’s 2 questions, isn’t it…?)

Uh…CGI dinosaur, much?

Shield Hero 16

…and of course, the Queen is a loli. Of course (<-sarcastic).

“Why’d I even have to feed this KFC farm?” – LOL, but I wonder what it sounded like in Japanese…? (i.e. I didn’t listen to it and when I try to do that, there’s always something over the top of it…)

Sarazanmai 2

I wonder if I’ll ever get used to watching Ikuhara on a weekly basis…?

Kappamaki…geddit?

Wait…y’mean, Keppi’s breath smells like cucumbers? Uh…okay, TMI.

Enta’s Japanese house kind of looks like the one in Mawaru Penguindrum.

Wait…why does the Japanese word for “Fish Buffet” (Osakanazanmai) end in –zanmai? Does that mean Sarazanmai is…Dish Buffet?! (LOL)

Notably, one of the signs said “Union” in katakana. It must be an English play on words…y’know, trade union and union = connecting with each other? I’m surprisingly enjoying myself a lot with Sarazanmai, by the way. I didn’t think I would, but I am!

I think that might be Irohassu water. Or Dasani. I saw both those brands in Japan, but I don’t remember which had the green flowers.

Oh…my goodness! Nekoyama (Cat Mountain) Mokichi (written with kanji for “hair” and “luck”). It’s a Boueibu monster! Frick, I’m laughing too hard!

It’s very small and very thin, but the word next to the cat in the eyecatch is neko.

“…Meow God!” – It’s a pun on “Oh, My God!” but with a “meow” in it. It’s pretty forced, but it does get the nuance of the joke across…

Why the heck did the subbers choose “herb” as the word for weed in this? “Weed” is sufficient, right? Right…?

Well…if that spurt of water wasn’t symbolic…I don’t know what is.

The title translates better as “…but I want to steal”. Y’know, add a little force into it.

The two As and the “sara” below it seem to make a zombie face, huh?

Ooh, that ending…

[mutant-jojos]

marisathu reblogged your post and added:

umm maybe the first time Joseph had Caesar over?...

Caesar didn’t really know what to expect as he got off the bus at an unfamiliar stop.

He’d known Joseph “Jojo” Joestar, the scrappy, loudmouthed, purple-skinned mutant boy in his grade, for about two months. They’d met when Joseph had punched him in the face for flirting with a cute girl, starting a gritty fight, but the two quickly realized that they both had electricity-based powers, making them immune to each other’s normally invincible attacks. They’d clicked immediately, and quickly became an inseparable- and virtually unstoppable- pair, to the horror of their teachers and classmates who had enough trouble dealing with them individually.

Now, for the first time, Joseph had invited Caesar to hang out at his house after school. Caesar hadn’t had many friends growing up, only the occasional short-lived alliance between delinquents, so to him “hanging out” usually meant loitering in a parking lot somewhere, harassing passerby. He’d never actually been invited to a friend’s house before, so he was a little nervous, yet excitedly curious at the same time.

The brightly colored fall leaves New England was so famous for crunched loudly underneath Caesar’s feet as he followed Joseph. Joseph walked on top of the half-ruined stone wall next to them playfully, never faltering despite all the wobbly stones; Caesar guessed he’d walked on that wall many times before.

“-All the Super Smash Bros. games, and like Mario Kart and Mario Party and Mario Whatever, and Lego Star Wars is really fun too, and I think we have that Crash Bandicoot racing game, and there’s this game called Katamari that’s really weird but it has a multiplayer and-” Joseph rambled on, listing all the multiplayer games they could, potentially, play. Caesar wasn’t really paying attention, and didn’t particularly care which games Joseph had at the moment, but that didn’t stop him from talking anyway.

As they walked, the boys noticed a small figure hunched over in front of the wall up ahead of them. To Caesar’s surprise, Joseph immediately hopped down from the wall and ran towards the stranger. Caesar quickly followed behind him.

“Whatcha doin’?” Joseph asked loudly.

The stranger- who Caesar now saw was a boy with purple skin and a black and gold cap, presumably related to Joseph- stood up and gave Joseph an irritated look. “I was looking at a toad, but you scared it off,” he answered annoyedly.

“Whatever, toads are boring. Anyway, this is my friend Caesar,” Joseph told the boy, gesturing towards Caesar. “Caesar, this is my little brother, Jotaro.”

“Hi,” Caesar said, waving in a friendly manner. Joseph had mentioned Jotaro a few times; From what Caesar could tell, he was shy and nerdy, and Joseph was rather protective of him.

“Hi…” Jotaro said slowly, watching Caesar with a suspicious frown, and both hands in his pockets. He glanced at Joseph questioningly.

“It’s cool, Caesar’s a mutant,” Joseph assured Jotaro.

Jotaro’s eyes widened in surprise. “Really?!” he gasped.

Caesar nodded, grinning. “Check this out.”

With just a thought, Caesar gathered electricity from the cables above them, and formed it into a small orb that hovered above his hand, crackling and flashing and producing a smell of ozone.

“Oh, that’s it?” Jotaro said flatly, his face falling in disappointment.

“Hey, whaddya mean, ‘that’s it’?! People are usually more impressed by that trick, you know!” Caesar exclaimed, feeling insulted.

“I’ve seen stuff like that before,” Jotaro responded with a shrug.

“Let’s go already, I’m starving,” Joseph interrupted, ignoring Caesar’s indignant gasp at Jotaro’s reaction.

“‘Kay,” Jotaro agreed.

Caesar continued to grumble in irritation, but quieted down once they evidently reached the house.

The Joestar house was large, though not unusually so for the neighborhood, with a spacious yard. It was a fairly typical style for the area, and looked to be fairly modern, but at least 20 years old. The lawn was freshly cut, with hydrangea bushes flanking the front steps. Caesar followed Joseph as he pushed open the heavy front door.

“We’re home!” Joseph and Jotaro called out in unison, and took off their shoes, placing them in a plastic tray near the door. As they entered the main house, Joseph suddenly stopped Caesar.

“Dude, aren’t you going to take your shoes off?” he said, looking at Caesar as if he had just done something rude.

“Oh, uh… Right,” Caesar replied awkwardly, feeling slightly confused, but nonetheless took his shoes off and placed them in the tray.

As they passed the living room, Caesar and Joseph (Jotaro had gone on ahead without them) were greeted by a middle-aged woman with bleached blonde hair and a kind smile.

“How was your- Oh! You brought a friend?” she exclaimed in surprise. She spoke with an accent, though Caesar wasn’t sure which.

“This is Caesar,” Joseph explained.

The woman, who Caesar assumed was Joseph’s mom, smiled brightly at Caesar. “It’s nice to meet you, Caesar! Will you be staying for dinner?”

“Uh…” Caesar hadn’t considered this possibility. He wasn’t sure what to say. On one hand, the concept of dinner was very enticing, but the idea of eating dinner with Joseph’s family he’d only just met also sounded somewhat… uncomfortable.

Joseph’s mom seemed to sense Caesar’s uncertainty. “It’s alright, you can decide later. No pressure,” she assured him.

“Forget dinner, I’m hungry now,” Joseph complained. “Let’s go get a snack.”

Caesar followed Joseph into the kitchen, where they were met with yet another member of Joseph’s family: one of the largest people Caesar had ever seen in his entire life, sitting at the kitchen island eating a sandwich.

“Hi Joseph! Who’s your friend?”

“His name’s Caesar,” Joseph answered, introducing Caesar for the third time that day.

The extremely large young man smiled in a way that reminded Caesar of Joseph’s mom. “Nice to meet you, Caesar! I’m Jonathan, Joseph’s older brother,” he said cheerfully, while Joseph began pouring two extremely large bowls of Fruity Pebbles.

“N-nice to meet you,” Caesar stammered, still slightly in awe of Jonathan, who he was certain had to be a pro wrestler in disguise and not a high schooler.

“C’mon, let’s go hang out in my room,” Joseph told Caesar, nodding towards the doorway as he carried the two precariously-filled bowls of cereal. Caesar followed behind him.

“Dude, your brother’s fucking huge,” Caesar exclaimed as soon as they were out of earshot of the kitchen.

Joseph laughed. “Yeah, he hits his head on things all the time! It’s pretty funny. Wonder if I’ll be as big as him when I’m 17,” he added thoughtfully.

“You are pretty tall, but…” Caesar trailed off, finding it hard to imagine Joseph being that giant.

Joseph led Caesar up the stairs and down the hall, and kicked open one of the doors to reveal a mess of a room, with comic books, toys, and laundry scattered everywhere, and walls plastered with band posters. Once inside, Joseph shoved some things unceremoniously off the desk, and put down the bowls of cereal.

“So I had this really great idea the other day,” Joseph began, speaking through a mouthful of Fruity Pebbles.

“What is it?” Caesar asked curiously.

“Hold on, I’ll show you in a minute. Gotta find it first,” Joseph replied. He began searching the room for something, looking under piles of stuff, in boxes, under the bed, and under piles of laundry before finally finding what he was looking for inside one of the desk drawers. He tossed a small plastic bag containing a variety of colorful rubber bands into Caesar’s hands.

“I figured out that I can use electricity to melt silly bands,” Joseph said with a mischievous, giddy smile. “I was thinking, we could fuse ‘em together and make like, fucked up Animorphs silly bands, and then sell them at school,” he explained enthusiastically.

“Woah, that’s pretty cool,” Caesar agreed, examining a misshapen outline of what appeared to be Spider-Man’s torso stuck on top of a t-rex body. “Think we could really make a profit, though? I mean we’d have to buy twice the silly bands, I dunno if people would be willing to pay that much,” he pointed out.

“Oh yeah, I didn’t think about that…” Joseph admitted, frowning in disappointment.

“Here’s a better idea: what if we just offered to fuse other people’s bands, and charged a service fee? Then we wouldn’t lose anything,” Caesar suggested.

Joseph gasped. “Bro, you’re a genius!”

“I know,” Caesar replied smugly. “Now let’s get making some examples!”

“Hell yeah!”

[maneaterwithtail]

The politics are the cough. the disease is flooding to chase the trend of personal brand building. Events and confusing communities and arguably the arrangement of the direct market itself. No simplicity and lots of expense with shakeup one after the other.

And some transparently business or out of story disrupting existing (in humans versus mutants)

Starting Marvel, as an example, is harder than figuring out where to come in on the Fate series. I mention this because Comics are often compared to manga and yet however convoluted in silly may get for the most part you buy one collection, or let's not kid ourselves pirate, or wait until an animated adaptation comes out realize that it's pretty much faithful, go back to the core comic and so long as you start from the beginning you can follow to the end. Even if it's based off of a visual novel chances are everything will progress from beginning to end. It's usually when that models messed up with that something becomes destructive and difficult to follow or deal.

Unlike with manga where if you're having trouble following where to start with, like the Fate series, you can at least enjoy the latest Nasu verse offering. especially if you can turn your brain off and just engage with one example. Or if you don't want to deal with that you can just go to an entirely different property from a similar publisher that scratches a similar itch.

Like the premise of America Chavez buts I think she did it wrong? Well it's not like you can just switch over to Champions because that's a mess as well along with Miles Morales Spider-Man and ms. Marvel or spider woman.

it's expensive, patchy, filled with all sorts of weird continuity that you end up having to buy just to start. As such only the dedicated fanbase could possibly tolerate it but that also is exclusive in the sense that it's so to them with a history that it feels kind of off-putting.

I like the comicsgate comics I have heard of. I can also understand why we try to move away from that. Such as very obvious p*** tracing. And so on. Yes supposed diversity has basically led to a similar story of we're here now we're going to f*** the status quo too strongly relating to the audience or the author's pandering.

But it's not just they're going to have a trans person in an announcement. Which is a pretty major character trait I imagine that they want to talk about that or include it in the announcement.

the discontinuity does not help you build upsetting characters characterization and Circumstance. This is what I mean you're following themes story and events building to something then a new author will come in and he or she will wreck all that up so that they can go in an entirely different direction. Okay maybe you don't like the homosexual overtones of Eddie Brock and Venom. Maybe you want to stick it to all the slash shippers on Tumblr. But they've been the people who been following the comic and there's been a multi-year build up with sleeper, Eddie Brock and Venom's son.

going no now Eddy has a son he doesn't know about. oh and he was in the car that killed a child and him and Venom hate each other? Basically says f*** that other story we're going back to this story because I liked it better when I was young and I like it this way. And this kind of hostility is constant with every Changing of the Guard which can happen almost every two to three years. This keeps happening right when things are starting to get good or conclusion is reached. this undermines any death any major event or twist especially when it's in the headlines as if it's going to be meaningful

we can't even engaged in the illusion that someone has a plan charting something out when it feels like it's always fly by the seat of the pants the slightest whim can blow off the direction. We know in our conscious nothing that happens matters or at the very least when things end and we don't move on to something else then realize that there was a change but it seems seamless. Or at the very least it's a damn good seem that makes a very likeable and unique and distinct quilt. Again comparing and contrasting with manga

basically constantly ragging on the Politics as if that's what's causing the problem as opposed to Poor practices is off. yeah the customer service is definitely a no-go. But let's not kid ourselves Fanboys started it

I can straight up say that if you had a book that was straight up gay. like it starred the gay couple that once was Rescued by Captain America including his childhood hero And they were joined by the gender-bending exiled courtesan. you know those girls that always hang around in the background of Thor comics and everybody talks about winching and all that stuff? What if we actually focus on one of them and we threw in some mythological deviant queerness with the idea that men who practiced a certain form of Witchcraft had to be ladies. Now in practice this often meant anything from cross-dressing to performing ceremonies with a freaking dildo. But this is Comics so instead I can just go with the idea that after he uses magic so much he can turn or does turn into a lady. At first it's inadvertent but then he Masters the power so much that can transform into any lady. So he can go from weak little nerdy witch man to a Vanir (super durable pretty strong) or she giant.

It gets even more so when apparently he can change not just to a generic woman but any specific one. so he can literally clone an individual lady alive or dead. If she's dead you can act as a vessel for her soul so effectively while he might be booted deep within he can resurrect anyone's female loved one. Until changes back. The Twist is that while he won a beauty contest to be one of Odin's many many side pieces due to the politics and sociology of the time and the setup Odin didn't like admitting that they were both men or equals. Now the crossdressing courtesan isnt necessarily the nicest person. In fact the number one thing that characterizes him is that he hates the alpha male warrior culture or at least what he perceives of the negatives of it of Asgard. But that doesn't necessarily mean that he provides a good alternative. This will be a total retcon. not only would this make Odin effectively bisexual -although it's long since established that it seems like he's banged about so much he has had a child with everyone but his wife- but the idea that Loki and Thor grew up exposed to this weird gender-bending courtesan who tried to compete with the affections of their Queen Mother just so that that way he could get ahead and hated showing the absolute loyalty and Devotion to Asgard seeking glory in battle and death as opposed to conniving Gatling favor and trolling for booty while having to serve drinks for the Warriors that came by and were celebrated in the castle Hall.

Probably make up all sorts of relationships with other lesser-known Danny's that haven't been as much part of Marvel Thor but are important or at least well-known for the tradition. I would also shamelessly ripoff @gumon and her take on Norse mythology. With giants that just naturally produce children whether male or female. anyway ignoring all the continuity just so I could bring in the mythology that I want I would have it so that he was ultimately exiled because he got set up on a failure assignment. He got assigned to the Blue Mountain the traveling planet or set of rocks now that was the home of one of the Warriors Three the blue guy well the guy who wears blue and looks kind of like Angus Khan

The entire point of this is to get a different eye view of the Marvel Universe. What was it like to be one of those disposable pin-up girls. What is the gay population in gay culture and gay people been doing and light of the world that's been invaded from the ground been in a Perpetual fight with remnants of terrorists from World War II. And of course how they've been in for you property and making their lives and how are they responding to the fact that New York finally recognizes their marriage and of course life in the Twilight years as a gay couple that's constantly facing mortality. Also with the usual hey I'm an immortal mystical being who's having to relearn how to be human after having lived a life with a God's but neither being loyal to them nor a particular loyal to my own people. Along with the issues of the shapeshifter gender Dynamics and identity and all other sort of things. Pretty damn gay book. But I read it

Kids like imitating what they see so ripping the idea that someone's going to take some of the more iconic X-Men looks and style themselves after them when they know that their mutant doesn't seem wrong. I like the idea that we're going to open with someone who manages an online community for mutants. I like the idea of Trailblazer I like the ladies thick and I like the fact that she has a more utility power that she's going to have to work with and around hopefully being clever though that backpack does run the risk of becoming the Omnitrix and having the solution for every problem that you need.

Basically I like the children of the atom a bit more than the whole lineup of the new Warriors. I think people really should give the characters a chance so if you're turned off by yet another set of incest siblings in Marvel ya no problem or argument here.