#and hey now KC can't whine any more

[montywithchildhoodtrauma]

More SAMS & MAFS incorrect quotes becuse LUNAR!

Sun: Why would you give a knife to Puppet?! KC, shrugging: Puppet felt unsafe. Sun: Now I feel unsafe! KC: I’m sorry… KC: Would you like a knife?

Puppet: Hey, quick question. How petty am I allowed to be?

Monty: Yo! I heard you like reptiles, got any fun facts? Puppet: If a alligator eats your dad, they become your new dad. Monty: I... don't know how to respond to that...

Moon, probably: It's not ugly, just aesthetically challenged.

Monty: Can you be serious for five minutes? Lunar: My record is four, but I think I can do it.

Monty: Hey. Foxy: Hey? Monty: I can't sleep. :/ Foxy: I can. Goodnight.

Rays: Try not to roll your eyes at me. Moon: I don't have pupils.

Monty: You think that’s cringe? Moms around the world wait 9 months just to end up naming their kid Puppet. Puppet: Hey, fuck you.

Moon: Is… he meant to be on fire? Monty, staring at Pops on fire: No… not really. Moon: Are you going to do something about it? Monty: Hm… nah.

Monty: Yesterday, I watched Lunar try to eat a decorative rock from Earth's potted plant. Sun caught them, and told them they can't eat rocks. Lunar started whining something about no food being in the house before walking away.

Rays: slams down an absolute doorstopper of a tome I checked this out weeks ago for a bit of light reading. Monty: This is light?!

Foxy: Remember what I told you. Monty: Don’t be a cunt?

Monty, trying to flirt: So, you come around here often? Earth, confused: I mean, this is my house, so yeah.

Sun: If this plan goes down the drain, where should we regroup? Monty: The afterlife, I guess.

Moon: Earth, gather the others. We need to have another Sun-is-doing-something-stupid-again-and-we-have-to-stop-them-before-they-hurt-someone convention.

Monty: You bought a taco? Puppet: Yes. Monty: From the same truck that hit Lunar?! Puppet, with a mouthful of taco: Well, me starving ain't gonna help them.

Moon: So what do you have planned for the future? Lunar: Lunch. Moon: No, like long term. Lunar: Oh…um, dinner?

Eclipse, done with everything: I don’t think my death ray is working. I’m standing right in it, and I’m not dead yet.

Kidnapper: I have one of your friends. Puppet: Which one? I have three. Kidnapper: The loud, annoying, rowdy one who never shuts up. Puppet: Which one? I have three. Monty, distantly: HEY!!!

Monty: seductively takes off glasses Wow, you're… blurry. (I like to think their sunglasses are prescription)

Earth: Not gonna lie, I'm kind of afraid of Puppet… Monty: As you should be. Earth: No, for real, they're kind of- Monty: As. You. Should. Be.

The squad's reaction to being told they're the chosen one Monty: I'm going to let you down. Earth: Sounds fun? Puppet: K. Moon: No, I'm fucking not. Foxy: Do I have to be? Sun: Please god, I am so tired.

Rays: I don’t need to touch grass, I need the fall of capitalism.

Monty: You’ve got to learn to love yourself. Sun: But don't you hate yourself. Monty: Yeah, but this is about you. Stay focused.

Sun, on like 5% seeing a banana on the car seat: What the FUCK?? Sun, buckling the banana up: Fucking buckle UP, it’s the LAW!

Puppet: I’ve never smoked marijuana. I ate a brownie once at a party. It was intense. It was kind of indescribable. I felt like I was floating. Turns out there was no pot in the brownie. It was just an insanely good brownie.

Lunar: Puppet, what if there are monsters? Puppet: Don’t worry, we’re top of the food chain. Much later… Lunar, lying awake at night: I am the monster.

The squad is playing a team sport Earth: Are you upset you don’t get to be on the same team as Lunar? Rays: Have you ever played a game with Lunar? Earth: No… Rays: Have you ever been trapped in a cage with a wolverine? Meanwhile, on the other side of the field Lunar, chasing Sun: I SAID STOP FUCKING TALKING!! SHUT YOUR TRAP! COME HERE I'M GONNA PUNCH YOU!

Everyone is playing a board game together Foxy: I will put 'A' down to make 'A'. Earth: I will add onto your 'A' to make 'AT'. Monty: I will add onto your 'AT' to make 'RAT'. Moon: I will add onto your 'RAT' to make 'BIOSTRATAGRAPHIC'. Monty:... Earth: Oh dear Monty: flips the board

Foxy, at Monty's funeral: I need a moment with them. Pops: Of course. He leaves Foxy, leaning over Monty′s coffin: Okay, listen here you little shit. I know you’re not dead. Monty: Yeah, no shit.

Puppet: Are you listening to me? Monty, who's been zoned out since before the conversation started: nods Puppet: What did I just say? Monty: nods Puppet: …

KC: WHY DID YOU KILL HIM?! HE COULD HAVE HAD HOPES AND DREAMS, HE COULD HAVE HAD A FAMILY!!! Rays: KC- Rays: It- it was just an ant-

Foxy, to Puppet and Monty: holding knife out in front of them Are you or are you not an enemy of the people?! Puppet: … Monty: … Puppet: That is such an open-ended question. Monty: Yeah, it really depends on a lot of different factors-

Foxy: What’s it like being tall? Foxy: Is it nice? Foxy: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards? Monty: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb 4 chairs, 2 boxes, a small coffee table and 6 oddly placed stools to get what they want. Lunar: It was one time!

The Squad is at Home Depot Lunar: Fell in the cacti display while wandering around the garden section Monty, Puppet, & Sun: Tokyo Drifting one of those flatbed carts down the aisles while Sun is screaming his head off, he wanted no part in this! Moon: Stealing paint chips for aesthetic purposes Rays: Just wanted some goddamn light bulbs and everyone ruined it Earth: In the car sleeping

Monty, to themself: I hate taking off my glasses, because without them, my vision goes from Full HD all the way down to buffering at 240p and I just can't handle that.

Monty: I just heard Lunar call the dog a “fucking liar” because he barked like someone was at the door and no one was there.

Monty: Just be careful, Lunar! Lunar: heading out the door I'm always careful, Monty! Lunar: It's everything around me that's careless.

Earth: I don't want to fight you! Moon: I wouldn't want you to fight me either!

Puppet: What’s something you guys are better than Monty at? Foxy: Mario Kart. Lunar: Yeah, video games. Earth: Emotional vulnerability.

Moon: I wasn’t that drunk. Sun: You colored my face with a highlighter because you said I was important. Moon: BECAUSE YOU ARE!

Lunaar: If I stay in bed I'll be warm. If I get in the shower, I'll also be warm. But the distance between the bed and shower? No. That is not warm.

Rays: That sounds like a terrible plan. Sun: Oh, we've had worse.

Monty: You know, studies show that keeping a ladder in the house is more dangerous than a loaded gun. Monty: That's why I own TEN guns. Monty: Just in case some maniac tries to sneak in with a ladder.

Foxy dies in a game with ships Puppet: This ship is no longer a ship of love, it's a ship of vengeance, a gavel of justice against all that is wrong in the world, showing no mercy, as no mercy was shown to us. Puppet: The spark of love will now fuel the fires of destructive glory as I wage my war across the world with righteous fury. Moon: Legend has it that Foxy still haunts the ship, stealing my fucking drinks. Foxy: Of course I do.

Puppet: It's locked. You got a lock pick? Monty: Yeah- Moon: kicks in the door

Monty: shatters a window and climbs through it Monty: turns around and helps Lunar through it Breaking and entering is wrong Lunar. Lunar: Okay.

Lunar: You gave me up, you let me down, you turned around, and deserted me. Eclipse: But did I make you cry? Lunar: cries on the spot Eclipse: …Shit.

Monty: Tired of just deserving better. Gonna start taking it by force.