#and hes just screaming internally while im passed the fuck back out and i dunno bUT LIKE

[mapleshmaple]

i know i say this like every other post but im so fuckign stupid and filled with so much love and i wanan kiss papyrus so bad it hurts

[wingsporkhalo]

He’s Mine: A BakuDeku Fic Spork- Chapter 4

WOW I can’t believe this story only ran for 4 chapters! Or no, wait, I can absolutely believe that.

For those of you who are new, I read a terrible BakuDeku fanfiction and made funny commentary on it with the help of some good buddies!! Thanks again @kittykatz009​, @the-wizard-l​, @satsuneade​, and Phos!!

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3

Support me on Patreon! I am poor!! https://www.patreon.com/WingSongHalo And check out my YouTube channel, where you can see video sporks!! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgTMFf7W6SyWoZdpqY9ZdPw/

Last time, Shoto made terrible jokes and lied to Izuku’s mother, Izuku and Shoto went on a date, and our helpless damsel protagonist got attacked by a villain!! Also, I provided several of my own takes on the pairing! When we left off, Izuku had received a note from Katsuki that had a love confession on it! In today’s installment, we see the fight between Lord Explosion Murder and Ice Ice Flamey from the beginning! Also, they stalk Izuku and hang around him creepily all night at his house!

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Me: Izuku would stare at that letter for ages and find a hidden message in it. Izuku, reading the note: "Hey, damn nerd... Even though I didn't get to tell you yesterday, I was trying to say that I'm in Love with you. I want to go out with you. Let me know what you think. PS- Tell anyone else and you're dead." [long pause] "...............oh my god... the first letter of each line... HE'S IN TROUBLE!! I HAVE TO SAVE HIM"

Wiz: 🦢 Me: First off, I think it's kind of telling that within the universe of this story, I'm kind of rooting for Bakugou over Todoroki. I mean, at least Bakugou beat a girl unconscious to save him. Todoroki just kidnapped him while he was dressed like a girl and then took him to a park for no reason and left him there. I like how this chapter is formatted like the shittiest poem I've ever seen. and yes THE DOOR SWAN OPEN Phos: I need to record myself reading bad fanfic like ee Cummings poetry Me: absolutely YOU COULDN'T SEE IZUKU ANYWHERE IN THE WHAT???? WHY WOULD HE--I--WHAT??? THE FUCK???? Jaz: did that say catheter?? Me: IT SAYS CATHETER Wiz: hvgjhgjhRTDYFYGIU Me: IM DYING OH MY GODDDDDD Jaz: that doesnt sound very sanitary Me: MAYBE LOOK IN SOME BETTER HIDING PLACES, TODOROKI

intill: It's all inside

Okay but where is Izuku sitting?? Jaz: he’s levitating Me: "About What?" "Right, about Western Heroes' Acting Theater. They're putting on a show and I want to know if I can make it" "............" And then it’s like "Gee, I have no idea if i should go out with this dangerous person who has always asserted his unquestionable dominance over me with violence if necessary!!" "[internally] oh my god, is Izuku... is the guy I like... dumb??" Jaz: afudshgoudshuigdsh

Me: Of course he doesn't know. Izuku isn't allowed to have a thought in his head in this story Suddenly, Bakugou just fucking Apparates there Jaz: What’s the dose? Me: I dunno, but if it's a Bakugou dose, I'm assuming it'll be -hard to handle -a little too spicy for comfort -really bad for my health Jaz: mhmmm spicy Me:

He must of herd

Surely you mean a Herd of Must? Majestic animals also who is Bakagou and when did he get here? At least we know one thing about him: He's an idiot (...because baka.) WAIT, maybe Bakagou was the author's idea of a pun?? Because he is now Todoroki's rival in love?? ...nah, that's giving the author way too much credit... Jaz: im just picturing Bakugou's head on a horse's body running through a pasture Me: LKAJF;LKSDJLK

Or--hot take, but hear me out--mayyyybe Izuku belongs to no one but himself?? DID YA EVER THINK OF THAT, AUTHOR??? Who is Intill allmight and why is only the first word of his name capitalized Where the fuck did he come from, anyway? Doesn't this take place after the school festival? If so, how is All Might in muscle form? Or did he just appear here in his Smol Might form?? Then he just... fucks the hell off with both of them in tow, I guess IZUKU, HON, GUESS WHAT: YOU DON'T HAVE TO CHOOSE EITHER OF THEM! THEY'RE BOTH BLAND PIECES OF DRYWALL Wiz: RIGHT Me: also I like how they both just stalk Izuku until he makes up his mind. Except NO I DON'T, THAT'S SUPER FUCKING WEIRD AND DISTURBING Wiz: IT REALLY IS Jaz: this is so painful

Wiz: this poor kid Me: Stay over to night? Does that mean they're going to leave at nightfall? sounds a'ight Jaz: the coach Me: "Eh yeah" WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. THIS IS SO STUPID I'M 😂 "Oh remember Izuku" "Yes mom I remember Izuku because that is me" "Oh, okay, just checking. I forget sometimes"

that poor coach

Izuku might as well be a stupid princess doll for all the agency he has in this fic

So the three of them just... sat there in uncomfortable silence while they slowly smushed Izuku between them? And then Izuku just gets up when he's done watching TV? DIDN'T ANYONE WANT TO TALK? THIS IS SO UNSETTLING INKO, COME BACK! WE NEED AN ADULT Wiz: PLEASE COME BACK Jaz: hfdsihgdsiugh

Me: "Don't ask me what vegetables. Just... nameless vegetables. Honestly I'm not convinced they were even vegetables, but that's what the large blue letters on them said, so I thought I'd take their word for it." Wiz: That last line is so creepy for some reason Jaz: it IS creepy Me: "Your going it wrong" They should have said that to Inko when she was leaving. "Your going and leaving us alone with your son? It wrong."

"I never knew that you were good with at cuting!"

I mean, yeah, he could definitely use a refresher course on cute-ing. He has forgotten how to cute.

So like, Shoto's just sitting in there staring brainlessly at the TV while Bakugou impresses his supposed love interest by being a culinary genius? Weak, Shoto. Step up your game.

I haven't spend this much with kacchan

Good lord, I wasn't aware you were spending anything!! How much did those "vegetables" cost??

I went through

WENT THROUGH WHAT?? IS IZUKU SO TWO-DIMENSIONAL NOW THAT HE CAN PASS THROUGH WALLS??

"You were cute when you were a kid weren't you"

Bitch!!! HE'S STILL CUTE AS FUCK!!! Wiz: It's paper mario :O kjwbejhbewfj Me: PFFFFFF Jaz: let this fic die plz

Me: His checks went red??? GOOD LORD, THOSE "VEGETABLES" HAVE BANKRUPTED HIS FAMILY Wiz: oH NOOOOO Me: I can only assume the dinning room is where his mother goes to cause a din by screaming MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Wiz: That’s it Me:

After dinner because author-chan is lazy

You only admit it after all this? You despicable coward. Wiz: gvhbjkhgjkuhilk mood Me: Should we be letting this expressionless cardboard cutout just silently look through all of Izuku's childhood photographs? Definitely not. Is anyone going to stop him? Definitely not!! Jaz: Izuku telling him to back off? GOOD Me: Why is this author writing both of them as these silent onlookers, hovering over Izuku's shoulder like the inevitability of death?? Also, jesus, why on EARTH would Bakugou just be like "welp I'm gonna shower with him derpdedoo!!" Okay Izuku doesn't feel safe in his own home now. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, AUTHOR. Wiz: THAT’S SO CREEPY JHB Me: so... you're writing one of his love interests as a silent but loyal protector who diligently waits for him and follows him everywhere like a dog? Author, are you... was your first crush a dog or something??? I'm???

(except with “man”) I mean his other choice was to fucking leave, but everyone forgets about that I guess

Jaz: god, i hope they were wearing gloves Me: Author, when you don't put A/N before your stupid pointless interruptions, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SEPARATE IT FROM ALL YOUR CHARACTERS' STUPID POINTLESS THOUGHTS Jaz: his waste Me: "You still cute Izuku!" the Southern Accent returns, this time with Shoto Okay Bakugou's growling when someone's getting close to his beloved now. It's official. Bakugou has become an actual dog Jaz: a smol doggie Me: WHAT SO IZUKU JUST GOES TO BED WITH TWO SUPERPOWERED STALKERS STILL IN HIS HOME?? I???

WHY ARE THEY INVADING HIS SPAAAACE OH MY GODDDD IZUKU HAS GIVEN ZERO INDICATION THAT THEM EVEN BEING IN THE HOUSE IS OKAY HHHHHH

Also yeah apparently someone pooped the bed Wiz: fdghjkhgjkl

Me: THE END??? And then it was never updated because nobody wanted any of that shit for poor Izuku Wiz: THE END WOW Jaz: the end jesus thank god Me: look... I don't usually say this, because it might seem hypocritical coming from someone who hoards fanart and writes character analyses and... does what I'm doing right now, but…

please get a life Jaz: maybe they are also sporking and want an update Me: I mean, fair? Wiz: What a journey Me: ANYWAY YEAH THAT WAS "HE'S MINE!" THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR JOINING ME, Y'ALL

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Hope you all enjoyed that!! Please let me know if you’ve found any terrible fanfictions you’d like me to spork! Right now I’m working on a Sailor Moon one that was submitted to the blog earlier, so I definitely take your suggestions! Thanks for reading <333

[ofmoonlight-androses]

Deity!Seventeen AU - Hoshi, God Of Festivities

Author’s note- I’ve actually planned out an entire au for like,,,which gods all of seventeen would be, so if you wanna see more for any reason just send me an ask for who you’d like to see lmao

Hoshi is one of the most well known gods

Each god has a festival dedicated to them during a day in the year, and Hoshi’s is the most grand

Think Mardi Gras in New Orleans

The streets get completely decked out in decorations and lights, people set up food stalls and knick knack tables, along with game booths and more

Its the WHOLE SHABANG

He usually just improves the overall mood of any celebration, like even for a little kid’s tiny birthday party he makes sure that each person involved is having as much fun as possible

He’s one of the gods most heavily associated with humans and because of that he’s one of the most revered/loved

Even if he doesn’t show himself often, people can often sense his presence when he’s watching over a celebration because it can go from boring and borderline awkward to downright jovial

And now to you

You had always liked the annual festivals for the gods

They always had special food and games and when you were younger you had memories of winning prizes and goldfish from the lil game stalls (you still had some of the stuffed animals lining your shelves in your room)

But,,,at the same time,,festivals were meant to be spent with many people

So while you had always loved the festivities,,this year you were…,disappointed

Because of some Typical School Drama, you had found yourself friendless, which was a kick to the teeth on its own, but now you couldn’t even attend the year’s biggest event because you were too scared of seeming like a loser by going by yourself

You had actually planned for this to be the one time in your life you missed Soonyoung’s festival,,even though it had always been your favorite, simply because you didn’t want to embarrass yourself

But your parents downright refused

They wouldn’t accept any excuse for you to miss you favorite time out of the year,,,,so, that’s how you found yourself in the town square, alone just outside of the crowd and surrounded by glowing lanterns and laughter

And okay it was…,, just a bit heartbreaking

Here you were, at the festival that you had made so many good memories at every year,,but you almost wanted to cry because you were all alone and apart from everyone else who were having fun and enjoying every aspect of the party with their loved ones and friends

Meanwhile, Soonyoung had sensed something was up

He’s a god of festivities so of course he naturally has a perfect read of the emotions swirling in the air around him, especially at the festival dedicated to him

And he had been enjoying himself for the most part; he didn’t directly attend his own celebration in human form seeing as Jihoon had told him it was an exceedingly bad idea (Jihoon: if you show up in your physical form you’re gonna end up getting yourself drunk and making a repeat of the festival in 1838   hoshi: but that wasn’t that bad-   jihoon: you caught a food stall on fire. Four times   hoshi: ,,,fine), so he decided to just watch over it

And then,,,apart from all the emotions of joy and fun,,,there was something else

Disappointment, withdrawal, and overwhelming sadness,, all emanating from you who had resigned themself to a bench just outside of the town square

And in true hoshi spur-of-the-moment fashion, he decided to say screw it to Jihoon’s warning and made his way to you

You had been scrolling through your phone, refreshing the same four apps and your mood only worsening because apparently every single social media page was overflowing with pictures of the festival. The same festival in which you were alone at and you weren’t going to cry about it even though your eyes were definitely burning and you really wanted to cry because hell this was pathetic-

But then suddenly someone was sitting next to you and leaning forwards so they were in your line of sight

And even worse it was a cute boy and fuck your eyes were probably red and hell you looked so stupid maybe he wanted to tell you it was pathetic that you were here all alone and you knew that he wouldn’t and that it was just your mind fucking with you but what if-

But he simply asked if you were enjoying the festival with a soft smile on his face

(you weren’t sure what it was about him because usually that question in this scenario would,,,upset you more because cmon of COURSE you weren’t enjoying it but. Somehow you felt comforted)

So you just answer with a shrug and look down at your feet, saying,,,well not really because..,,, its no fun when you’re alone

And you nearly jump out of your skin when he grabs your hand and pulls you to your feet, flashing you a beaming smile as he starts pulling you back towards the crowd and hes like well good thing you aren’t alone anymore!!! Cmon what do you want to do? let’s buy some food!!

Part of you is really freaked out because wtf you don’t even know this guy why are you letting this happen ??? but another part,,,,a much larger part,,,is kinda happy??? Like this guy had seen you were upset and was trying to cheer you up and his eyes were so genuine,,,,,,plus he was really cute

He was also buying you food how could you say no

Somehow being around him was making you forget about all the drama that had hung over you before

But wait shit you dont even know his name whoops better ask for that

And so u ask and,,,when he replies with Hoshi ur like okay thats really cute omg but like internally because you’d prolly jump off a bridge if you said that out loud

Him: thank you!!! I’d say your name is cute too but i don’t know it

You internally: time to jump oFF A BRIGE

You externally: its y/n haha :))) didn’t mean to say that out loud but y’KnOw

Next thing you know hes ruffling your hair and hes like i was right!!!!! It is a super cute name good thing we match huh?

Ur 100% blushing

And Hoshi just leads you around the festival, keeping conversation flowing so easily that you wonder for a moment if this is actually happening because?? Here’s this absolutely gorgeous boy seemingly with a heart of pure GOLD and hes??? Listening to you attentively and following up your dumb jokes and jesus christ he’s so extra but in like,,,the good way

like ,,,at one of the game stalls he was just like BET YOU 20 BUCKS I CAN WIN THE GIANT HAMSTER PLUSHIE and ur like BET YOU 20 BUCKS YOU CANT

And of course hoshi doesn’t like losing so he might have used his godly powers just a bit,,,and you’re like damn oh well a bet’s a bet and you’re digging money out of your pocket and normally he’d GLADLY take money but

,,,this time he couldn’t accept it because hell he was trying to help you have fun and he wasn’t accepting offerings rn, so he was just like nono that’s fine actually here have the hamster-

And youre like but we made a bet

Him: hmm,,,,right,,how about you give me a smile instead?

The GREASE

But Hell u were NOT expecting that and you feel your face getting hot and hes just like woahhh cuTE and you’re like HUSH GIVE ME A SECOND

And after going around the festival,,, Hoshi buying you snacks you looked at for longer than a second,,winning you cheap game stall prizes and even a bag of goldfish,,,you couldn’t help but think that somehow this had become one of the best festivals you’ve ever been to

Not a moment had passed where you weren’t having fun or smiling and you knew that it was all thanks to Hoshi

And so you were just a bit reluctant to head back home, even when the last firework show had ended and your mom told you to start heading back over text,,,you just wanted this to last forever

But you tell hoshi that you have to head home,, and he does look a bit sad but hes like ill walk you home!! And you joke like what do u just wanna see me more lmao and hes like yeah of course???

Cue you almost choking on air because Hell what the Fu k that was too genuine sounding what is this????? Feeling??? No none of that in this house

You cough to hide the flustered noise you made,,,and then you were walking in the direction of your house, a bag of goldfish held carefully in your arms and with Hoshi walking next to you and talking excitedly about his friend Woozi

You: woozi? That’s a cute name

Him: yeah but hoshi’s cuter isnt it

You: i dunno-

Him: HOSHI’S CUTER ISNT IT

And ur like yes yes hoshi is a cuter name,,in fact this fish is gonna be called hoshi

Soonyoung is screaming inside like wtf,,,,this human is so cute,,,and he kinda starts feeling bad that he probably won’t ever see you again,,

Unless-

(somewhere in the distance, Jihoon has begun screaming)

UNLESS

Out of nowhere, he just bursts out IM A GOD

You: sure sure ur a god of the game booths like you won every single-

But hes like NO IM SERIOUS im sOONYOUNG and ur like lmao alright but hes like pouting because wth!!!!!

And you just adjust the goldfish bag and ur like sure id believe you if you did something godly lmao

And of course you were just joking because cmon,,,,you believe in the gods but seriously?? The god of Festivities taking a human form just to cheer you up? You weren’t that special-

But then he coughs to get you attention anD WHAT THE FUCK IS HE FLOATING

You trip over your own feet in fuckin shock because wait are you SERIOUS the actual god of festivities sHOWED HIMSELF TO YOU TO CHEER YOU UP WHAT

And hes just casually like i told you!!! And you can’t really retort because there’s your house but you also wanna fuck with him,,,like just a bit because,,,,,it was really funny when he was upset that you didn’t believe him

So you’re just like ok so you can float??? Big Whoop only a Real God could summon forty pounds of gold right here right now

Him: NO GOD CAN DO THAT

You: god??? More like con

He’s screaming inside but you just nudge his shoulder and say jokingly “hey ill believe you’re a god if you go to prom with me”

But it turned on you because he was like OKAY SURE like rIGHt away and youre like wAIt-

He just asks for when it is and what to wear and ur,,,,gonna ride this good luck train because hell you weren’t gonna have a friend to go with anyways so?? Why not ?? plus ur kinda like,,,its not like hes gonna actually do it anyways like??

He’s probably gonna forget about you after he goes to wherever gods go,,,right?

Anyways,,you go into your house and before you close the door he just says “see you later!!” and ur like haha sure ok bye

And ur mom is like :))) did you have a good time??? Aren’t you glad you went??? Ur like oml FINE OK i had fun GOD MOM

Before you go to bed you pull out your old fish tank and clean it out before putting ur new buddy in,,bc ur fish is a KING he won’t be rotting away in some BOWL no he deserves a fully filtered tank with a bunch of decorations ((take care of your fish properly kids))

But,,,,it wasn’t the last time you saw Soonyoung

Because like two days later??? You hear your mom say that your friend was downstairs and ur like lmao what friend but whAT the fuck soonyoung is in your LIVING ROOM

And okay you’re DELIGHTED because you may or may not have missed him even though you only knew him for a few hours,, so ur like fuck it this god is my friend now lets go play mario kart

His godly powers might be able to win rigged fair games but he has no power over the domain of video games

Translation: he got really upset because you beat him 6 times in mario kart and 3 times on wii sports

And without realizing it,,,it kinda became normal for you to hang out with him?? Like sometimes he wouldn’t even go to your front door like normal and you’d just hear knocking at your window and at first you almost had a heart attack,,but now you’re just like oh its Soonyoung

Your favorite part of the day becomes learning the latest Divine Drama

Soonyoung: so Jeonghan was teasing Chan so Chan got upset and called Seungcheol but then Jeonghan just ended up teasing Seungcheol and so Seungcheol called Jihoon-

You: omg he did NOT

Soonyoung: he DID-

Sometimes you’ll leave stupid lil gifts at Soonyoung’s shrine like a little trinket at a garage sale that reminded you of him and he always gushes about it to the other gods like loOOK my human friend got me a THING do any of your followers do that???? No????? Well guess im just the best-

He also occasionally shows up to walk you home from school bc he’s impatient and wants to talk with you bc cmon you’re the most fun human he’s met-  well,,, fun in the sense that he knows you, and he doesn’t know many other humans as well as he knows you

And plus you always laugh at his jokes and the other gods don’t

But,,,as the days tick closer to prom which,,you were actually getting quite excited about because hell you actually??? Had a trustworthy date because Soonyoung reminded you constantly that he would show up,,so you couldn’t help but believe him

Alas, Jihoon has started catching on to Soonyoung’s feelings towards you,,and he’s seen gods that have fallen for humans before and it usually ends one of two ways

One: very very good, everyone ends up happy and theres a new god in the land

Two: very very bad, either the god has to watch the human die or the god has to abandon the human and it hurts both parties involved

And though Jihoon might pretend not to worry about the other gods,,,he doesn’t want to see Soonyoung hurt

So,,,though he doesn’t want to,,,as the god of reason he felt required to pull Soonyoung aside,,

And Jihoon explains like,, Soonyoung i know you like this human a lot but,,please think about what you’re dealing with

Soonyoung’s just like i know what im dealing with im dealing with a lovely person

Jihoon just sighs,,,,like no i mean seriously. Before you leap, think-  are you going to get tired of this human as soon as another interesting one stumbles along? Are you going to accidentally involve this human in matters they can’t control? We’re gods, Soonyoung, and though it’s fun to be around humans, it’s dangerous. So think about what you’re going to do before either of you get hurt

And soonyoung just,,,sobers up completely and he can’t help but,,,realize that he was just a bit caught up in you…

He couldn’t imagine hurting you?? Thinking back to when he first met you,,it broke his heart to have learned why you had been crying all alone at his festival and,,,,he really, really didn’t want to be the cause of that, ever…

So he decided; he would stay away from you for now,,,but if he still missed you after the time passed, he would see you again

But even then he didn’t realize that he was making choices before thinking

When Soonyoung didn’t show up at your house for a few days, you thought nothing of it

He was a god with duties to fulfill; you understood that and so you weren’t upset or anything when he was gone for a few days. Of course, playing video games and doing homework alone was less fun without him there,,but you could manage

You trusted him to keep his promise to go to prom with you,,and you even allowed yourself to get fully excited. You had even picked out a dress that was actually expensive,,and even tho ur not like,,a cheesy person….

Interally ur like,,,,,i hope  he thinks its pretty but right after that ur like wtf is this????a drama?????

Regardless, no amount of internal irony or cynicism can stop you from excitedly waiting at your meeting spot the night of the prom,,,just a little bench that you two would eat lunch at together on weekends

And you were all dressed up, your hair styled up all fancy and your makeup done by someone way more equipped with liquid eyeliner than you'd ever be,, and you can’t help but smile as the clock ticks closer and closer to the time you agreed on

Then 7pm hits, and hes still not there, but you don’t worry because hey even gods can’t make it on the dot right?

Then….7:30….8…...9

As each minute ticks by, you feel the pain in your chest grow,,,of course when you had first met him, you had expected this outcome, but after all the time that had passed you had really grown to trust him

When the clock finally hits 10, you swallow the lump in your throat and head back home, holding back your tears so that you could at least tell a decent lie to your parents that you had fun with your friends

Meanwhile

Soonyoung had been thinking, more than any carefree god of partying usually would, about you

Because,, while he understood Jihoon’s warning...he really didn’t like staying away from you

He missed hearing you rant about your teachers and the stupid questions people asked in class, he missed how you would fall backwards whenever you laughed really hard and how, if he told the perfect joke, your laugh would turn loud and goofy. He missed how you would pretend to be annoyed when he whined about how you weren’t paying attention to him,,,he just missed you

So fuck it, right???? He just BUSTS INTO WHEREVER JIHOON’S STAYING and jihoon is just like SOONYOUNG WHAT THE FUCK and soonyoung just yells JIHOON I THOUGHT ABOUT IT AND I LIKE THEM A LOT SO IF IT ENDS UP BAD I’LL DEAL WITH IT

Jihoon: :)

Soonyoung: what’s with that face. Why aren’t you disappointed.

Jihoon: you actually made a decision on your own,,, just wait until seungcheol hears this-

Soonyoung: JIHOON PLEASE NO

Everyone fears Seungcheol’s Dad Mode.

But, as Soonyoung prepares to run back to you and apologize for his absence,,Jun stops him

Because, guess who has a charm in their house for Jun?? Of course you would, your family believed in every god no matter how small,,,,and so,, Jun knew what happened

And hes just like Soonyoung,,my man, what time is it

Soonyoung: time to tell y/n i like them??

And jun is like oh my god i meant literally

Soonyoung’s like oh its 11- OH MY GOD PROM JUN HOW BADLY HAVE I FUCKED UP

The moment Jun just shakes his head, Soonyoung is ready to Die because usually Jun LOVES rubbing mistakes in people’s faces,,,,not even like in the mean way because usually they’re minor,,,,but if he’s not even gonna say

well,,,Soonyoung makes it to your house in record time and oh hell he can definitely feel that something is very, very off

He’d always been able to sense when you were upset, he just never knew it would hurt so much to realize that he had caused it,,,because if he listened hard enough he could hear you crying through the window

And its fair to say that you were only upset more when you hear a familiar knock at your window

All the hurt that had built up in you at every hour that had passed sitting alone in the dark turned to anger the moment he showed up

And you hated feeling angry,,you hated feeling all the negative energy running under your skin because it made you want to punch a wall but you never would so all it did was turn to bitter tears and more anger

So,,when you got up and went to your window only to see soonyoung….you closed the blinds

Or,,you try to but he sEEs your plan and his hand just slams on the window anD HES LIKE Y/N PLEASE DONT LET ME EXPLAIN-

And ur like what?? Ur gonna explain why you ditched me? Dont worry i understood your message anyways

His heart? Shattered into a million pieces

But,,,ur weak and too kind for your own good, so you open the window anyways because its probably cold outside

Soonyoung just tumbles in on hes knees and hes like liSTEN YOU DONT HAVE TO FORGIVE ME BUT LET ME EXPLAIN ILL MAKE IT UP TO YOU 1000%

You just wipe your eyes and nod bc even though you’re really, really upset,,you still know deep down that Soonyoung doesn’t have a mean bone in his body,,,,and usually if he does something rude its always on accident,,

And then he just SPILLS everything that’s happened in the last week; what Jihoon warned him about, how he got worried about hurting you (you: you already did that   him: I  kNow im so sososososososososososo-   you: soonyoung-   him:SOSOSOSOSOS O SO SORRY) and how he decided to stay away from you just so that he would have some time to think about what choice to make clearly

Before you can even get a word in he just jumps to his feat like listE N ILL MAKE IT UP TO YOU wanna go to a restaurant??? Ill buy you food we can go to the fanciest one in town gO get ready lets go!!!

He just looks so ready to GO ur just like okay,,,,just a minute,,

You gotta make it look like you haven’t been crying for the past half hour,,,and for a moment you can’t help but smile because when you look back he’s bouncing on his feet and staring at the clock on your wall and,,,soonyoung always displays his emotions so clearly its endearing,,

Before you know it soonyoung has your hand, dragging you down the streets and talking a mile a minute,,,

And ur just like soonyoung,,,soONYOUNG and he pauses in the middle of his sentence about the super fancy restaurants like ???

You make him stop walking bc ur lowkey exhausted because everything is happening FAST and you’re like hey listen i see what your goal is but how about we get some cheap fast food instead and just hang out??? Like normal??

Its like you just gave him a puppy like his face just LIGHTS UP and you see his Signature Hamster Smile

So you buy like two handfuls of chips and junk food from the nearest convenience store and Soonyoung says theres this really nice clearing in the woods to hang out in and he can tell Joshua to leave the two of you alone

And thats how you find yourself sitting on a log next to a pretty little pond in the middle of the woods with a god next to you who is. Currently struggling to hold the armful of snacks you guys bought at the 24 hour convenience store buy your house

You can kinda tell that Soonyoung is walking on eggshells around you,,,like his jokes don’t poke fun at you and he makes sure to give you any snack u ask for when he would usually make you play rock paper scissors for dibs,,

Okay you can’t help it because the thought he was putting into his actions was. Really endearing but at the same time you kinda want old rambunctious soonyoung back

So you push him slightly with your shoulder and you say, “Okay Soonyoung, I’m still a bit upset but I forgive you okay? Just explain a bit more ask to,,,like,,..why you avoided me??”

Once again, he acts like you just gave him the fucking world n for a moment you wonder if its okay for a god to be so easily impressed but you brush it off as he starts explaining

And its basically him repeating the speech Jihoon gave him and you’re nodding along until he’s like well I decided to say screw the rules like i mean i know it’s kinda weird for a god to fall in love with a human but hey whatever right-

You’re entire mind just kinda,,, fizzles out

In love??? God in love with a human?????? What?? //taps mic// hello?? What the fuck??

Soonyoung notices that you froze and he just blinks at you, not really understanding what he said to make you freeze up

You: s-soonyoung you s-said-

Soonyoung: that im in love with you? Yeah

You: SOONYOUNG

And hes just like well if you don’t like me back then we can pretend i never said anything but,,, im just sayin I’m a god and i can read emotions pretty well so i know you like me back :)

You push him off the log and he almost cries when his cheetos fall into the dirt

~~dating a LITERAL GOD~~

You wanna have a significant other that’s your best friend at the same time BOOM. SOONYOUNG

So its partially the same to how it was before; he still comes over and tries and fails to beat you at video games, he distracts you from school work (but only because he could tell you were starting to get stressed) and he still teases the everloving shit out of you

But at the same time, he kisses u. A LOT

Like Soonyoung is the world’s GREASIEST boyfriend ever,,,like he uses fucking pickup lines and youre like soonyoung we’re already dating and hes still like BECAUSE YOU’RE THE ONLY TEN I SEE

(you love it but you’ll never say it outloud)

He actually takes you to meet all the other gods?? Like he can’t take you to the god’s dimension because you’re human and all but he can call them down to meet u

Jihoon is like oh hey, you’re the human that soonyoung always talks about

Soonyoung is like jihoon SHHhshHSH but its too late youre already like :)))) oh so he talks about me?

Truth is Jihoon 100% plans on getting back at Soonyoung for worrying him so he makes sure to explain in detail all the things soonyoung told him about you

“Oh yeah one time he came back and i asked him why he was smiling and he said, and i quote-” soonyoung is fuckign writithing on the floor like JIHOON PLEASE NO “AND I QUOTE, ‘Jihoon you wouldn’t understand you don’t know what LOVE is like’”

You never let it go. You tease soonyoung about it constantly and he grumbles about how he would kill jihoon if gods weren’t immortal-

But every time he can never stay mad at you because you always kiss him on the cheek and he can’t help but smile

Sometimes he likes to play around and be like “youd COWER in the face of my true powers” but at the same time hes like “Y/N LOOK LOOK LOOK” while he makes a bunch of tiny glowing orbs that look like multicolored fireflies just because he wanted to impress you

Whenever you’re upset he can obviously sense it and he always tries his best to cheer you up, and if its something that a simple joke won’t fix, he’s always good at listening

Like,,,you don’t know if its the whole ‘god’ thing or not but he just always makes everything feel a bit less serious, like your world won’t end with a mishap

As a whole, dating god of festivities Kwon Soonyoung is happy and fluffy, with a side of lovely Godly Drama that he always spills to you as soon as it happens