#and her maids pooling their money to buy her a brush to brush her moms hair 😭

[shouts-into-the-void]

Claire's last words to her mom being ones of anger and spite really adds a new layer of context to her telling Rae that her personality is unlovable

[camillemontespan]

the history of us [drake x camille] [part five: 20th july - i’m right here]

Part Four if you want to catch up.

Warnings: NSFW. Feelings. Angst. 

@jovialyouthmusic @fromthedeskofpaisleybleakmore @pug-bitch @sirbeepsalot @moonlightgem7 @rainbowsinthestorm @stopforamoment @notoriouscs @dcbbw @burnsoslow @emceesynonymroll @i-bloody-love-drake-walker @drakewalkerisreal   @iplaydrake @gardeningourmet @symonde @katedrakeohd @cordoniasmost @sawyeroakleyscowboyhat @of-course-i-went-to-hartfeld @ccolz88-blog @nomadics-stuff

***********************************************************************************

20th July 2023

Madeleine went to the press and has done a 'tell all' interview about us. I knew she was a snake but I didn't realise she would be this awful. Is that naive? It was for the Cordonian Enquirer, which is pure trash.

Madeleine lied throughout. She said Drake is an irresponsible father who wasn't watching Lily when she broke her arm. Apparently he's too much of a brute to be a Duke which is ridiculous because he's a marshmallow.

Madeleine went on to say that in private, I spend all the tax payers money on decorating the manor and buying designer clothes. How childish can you get? I don't do anything of the sort!

Drake and I have been interviewing potential publicists to try and sort out this mess. We've both agreed that Madeleine was the bar the interviewees have to beat so I guess our standards are pretty low..

In all seriousness, we want a publicist who cares about us. Who can promote us in the way we want, to show us as the family we are. I don't want constant emails or texts telling me how I've managed to fuck something up.

I want someone to help us fix this sudden witch hunt. I know its affecting Drake because I went into his study last night to put back a book I borrowed and his computer screen was on. I didn't mean to look but the screen showed the close up photos of his face when he grabbed that photographer. I know Drake is fixating on it and I wish he wouldn't. He does really care what people think of him, despite his protests that he doesn't. Surely he should know that the only opinions that matter are mine and Lily's? And we adore him!

We're interviewing a woman called Samantha Jones today. I'm tempted to binge watch Sex and the City just to get into the spirit of interviewing. Do you think she likes cosmopolitans?

Drake stopped reading to chuckle. This was the first time reading Camille's diary that he had actually laughed.

He missed her. He missed her laughter and sense of humour. He missed her smile. Drake hadn't seen Camille since yesterday morning when she walked out.

The house felt empty without her and Lily. The TV should be on right now with a Disney film, Lily watching it in rapture. Camille should be chatting away on the phone to Hana or playing with Cheddar on the floor.

He wanted to phone her but after their talk yesterday, he didn't feel it would be welcome.

                            *************************************************

Camille opened the front door to greet their next interviewee. 'Hi there, you must be Samantha -'

'Jones, yes,' the tall blonde woman drawled. She was wearing a fuchsia coat and black stilettos. 'But don't compare me to that caricature of a publicist from that ridiculous TV show. I've heard enough jokes to last a lifetime.'

She shook Camille's hand strode into the foyer. Camille took her coat and hung it up, before leading her to her study where Drake was sat in one of the armchairs.

Drake stood up and shook her hand politely, gesturing for her to sit down. Camille sat on her side of the desk. Before she could speak, Samantha began to take documents out of her bag. She laid them on the table; Drake and Camille stared. The woman had made mindmaps with pictures of Drake and Camille in the web. She then started to talk.

'So it's quite a mess you've got yourselves into,' she said seriously. 'Lily in hospital, Drake grabbing a photographer and now your ex publicist is dragging your names through the mud. All in the space of about 2 weeks.'

Drake and Camille blinked. 'You don't pull any punches,' Drake commented.

Samantha shrugged. 'Why beat around the bush? Now I know what happened. Kids get into accidents all the time, they're a big responsibility which is one reason why I don't want them. Lily is four. Breaking her arm is normal.'

Camille grinned. 'Thank you -'

Samantha carried on. 'Drake, you have a restraining order set on the media which shows you care about your family and your privacy. It may not sit well with the media or the overbearing public but I understand your reasons. It does make a publicist’s job harder but I like a challenge.  But grabbing a photographer wasn't a good idea but hey, it's done now. So, how do we fix it?'

Drake and Camille weren't sure if she wanted an answer. She didn't seem to mind their gawping faces. She just kept talking.

'If I was your publicist, I wouldn't have you grovel. You were doing your job as a husband and father. I can make your reputation and image sparkling after this. I can make you a DILF.'

Drake stared at her. 'DILF?'

'You are aware you are being interviewed right?' Camille asked. 'You've just told your potential boss that you can make him a DILF. Not that he isn't already but..'

Samantha let out a peal of laughter. 'Oh Camille! If you hire me, you'll get used to me. What I mean is I can show Cordonia the family man that Drake is. I can promote him in the best possible light which is as a father and husband. I can make the women of Cordonia fall in love with him.'

Camille gripped the table. 'But I don't want the women of Cordonia to fall in love with him. He's mine.'

'Exactly. He will be unattainable which is even better,' Samantha explained. 'No stuffy Duke crap, Drake. I'll show who you are in the way that you want.'

Drake couldn't resist a smile. 'I do like being a dad..' he said humbly.

‘You’re lucky Valtoria still like you,’ Samantha told them. ‘You were born commoners, which in a way is quite endearing. So, if you were to hire me, I would work on promoting you within Valtoria and work my way out. Duchy first, nation second. If you have the Valtorians in your corner, you will be fine.’

Drake cleared his throat. ‘What’s the first step?’

Samantha pointed to her mindmap. ‘I suggest throwing a garden party. A sort of welcome home to Valtoria for you. You invite the Valtorian people. It will be a family event. I want to show you both as a married couple with a kid; you may be Duke and Duchess but the thing about you both is you are no different from your duchy, other than a title. That’s the angle I want to focus on. So, I’m thinking bouncy castles, alpaca petting station, a DJ, face painting. Your duchy can have fun, talk to you in person, see you for the family you are.  Those nasty rumours that Madeline is spreading about you will be dead by the time the party is over.’

Camille looked at Drake. ‘Drake, we can talk in private for a moment?’

    ******************************************************************************

27th July 2023

The garden party was going so well today. Samantha is fantastic; she may be in your face but she can do her job. She organised everything. The garden was set up with a gazibo, fairylights, a giant paddling pool for the kids, an alpaca petting station, face painting and a bouncy castle. The caterers served burgers, hot dogs, mac n cheese... American home comforts which was such a nice touch. 

Drake was a little nervous this morning. I think he was feeling the pressure to look like the ultimate family man as per Samantha’s plan, but I kept telling him he is already the best family man there is. He’s so natural with Lily- I don’t understand where this insecurity comes from. Is it because his dad died and his mom left? I often think he feels he needs to make Lily’s childhood as happy as possible because of the things he missed out on growing up. I guess I’m the same; I lost my parents and I’ve always felt this gaping hole, like something was missing. Marrying Drake and having Lily is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. So if Drake overcompensates, I get his reasons. I do it too. 

The party was going well until the game of Tag. I didn’t mean to get upset. I talked to him about it and I think we cleared the air. I’m still worried though.

Drake swallowed.  He knew what was coming in this diary entry. 

      *****************************************************************************

The garden was ready for the party. The head maid, Magda, was sweeping the paving. Lily was beside her with a miniature brush, crouching down low to sweep away stones. She liked to be helpful.

Drake was in his study. He was nervous about today. He hoped he would make a good impression and turn around public opinion of him; how much lower could it get? Quickly, he downed a glass of whiskey and cleared his throat, adjusting his shirt. 

He was dressed casual today. A red and green check shirt, blue faded jeans and boots. Taking a deep breath, he left his study and went out to the living room where Camille was standing at the mirror, applying her lip balm. She gave him a mega watt smile. ‘Hey handsome.’

She was wearing a red sundress and tan sandals. On her head was a white fedora hat and gold necklaces laced around her throat.  Drake felt his jeans tighten at the sight of her. 

He wished nobody was coming to this party today and he could just hang out with his wife. 

‘You okay? You look nervous.’

‘I’m fine,’ he lied. Camille moved towards him and placed her hands on his shoulders. 

‘You’re going to be great,’ she told him. ‘You’re already the best family man. You can do this in your sleep. Besides, today will be fun! We have American food! You can eat to your hearts content! No crappy finger food!’

Drake laughed and pulled her in for a kiss. ‘Oh, I plan to!’

She giggled and turned to go out to the garden. Drake cheekily slapped her ass and Camille turned to look at him over her shoulder with a glint in her eye.  Drake went back into his study to find his sunglasses. He heard the doorbell ring; their first guests. 

Drake clenched then unclenched his hands, shaking out his fists in a bid to calm down. He was a good dad. He was a good husband. He didn’t need to prove anything to these people. 

He still located his hip flask from his desk drawer though. He poured some whiskey inside and tightened the screw, shoving it into his jean pocket. 

Liquid courage. 

  *********************************************************************************

Maxwell seemed to be more excited by the alpacas than the actual children at the garden party. 

‘Camille, she likes me!’ he called out, stroking one. Camille grinned and joined him to stroke the alpacas. 

Olivia and Leo had rocked up an hour late. They weren’t the kind of people to attend family events. Why would they? They were together but marriage and babies were far from their minds. 

‘Is there any alcohol in this joint?’ Olivia muttered, her eyes taking in with horror the fifty children running around the garden screaming and laughing. She then saw the alpacas. ‘Please tell me there’s alcohol.’

Leo stared at the children. ‘I only like one child and that’s Lily. This is too much.’

Liam joined her and Leo, laughing at the horror on both their faces. ‘You guys okay?’

‘Just wondering whether to drown ourselves in vodka or slit our wrists,’ Olivia said dryly. 

Liam chuckled. ‘Sadly, there’s no alcohol at this event. I checked.’

The three of them wandered over to Drake, Camille and Maxwell. Hana was decorating Lily’s cast; she had pink and purple pens and was drawing flowers along the side, trying to make it look pretty. Lily was studying Hana’s drawing in wonder. 

‘So, what’s the point of this?’ Olivia asked.

‘It’s to show that Drake is a family man and we’re happy to be home!’ Camille told her, a huge smile on her face. Olivia stepped back. ‘Camille, tone down the fake smile, please.’ 

Camille sighed. ‘Fine. It’s our new publicist’s idea. She wants us to be like a normal family and then the public will like us.’

‘Fucking Madeline..’ Maxwell hissed. 

‘Max!’ the group cried.

‘Since when do you swear?’ Camille asked. 

Maxwell sighed.  ‘I’m so just annoyed at her. It’s not fair!’ 

‘It will blow over,’ Liam told them. ‘I promise. I’m sorry I foisted her on you. It was a bad match.’

Hana finished her drawing. Lily admired her handiwork. She then looked up at Olivia. ‘Aunt Olivia, can you sign my arm?’ 

Olivia took one of Hana’s pen. ‘Sure thing, kiddo.’ 

Lily held out her hand, stopping her. ‘But don’t touch Hana’s flowers. She made my arm pretty.’ 

Hana blushed. ‘It was nothing..’ she mumbled, pushing a lock of her hair behind her ear. Camille wrapped her arm around Hana’s shoulders, squeezing her. Hana was always so down on herself, for no reason. 

Olivia signed the cast, making Lily jump up and down now she had acquired another signature. 

‘Can we play Tag?’ she asked the adults.

‘Lily, we have alpacas here and you want to play Tag?’ Drake asked. Lily nodded, not understanding why her dad was confused. What was confusing about that?

‘You, me, mommy, Uncle Maxwell, Leo and Olivia!’ she hollered. 

Olivia let out a dry laugh. ‘Good joke, babe. I don’t play Tag. I’m going to sit down and have some... lemonade.’ She said the word with such disgust. 

She wandered off. Leo shrugged. ‘I’m gonna go join her. But hey, come see me later?’ he said, ruffling Lily’s hair. 

Maxwell cleared his throat. ‘Right. Lily, you’re It!’ 

Lily raced after Maxwell, Drake and Camille. The adults were deliberately slow so she could catch them. 

Drake slowed down for Lily, seeing she was approaching. ‘You’ll never get me!’ he shouted. Maxwell and Camille were beside him, thinking if they all ran slowly together, she could catch all three. Lily caught up and tugged on Drake’s egs. 

The hip flask fell out of his pocket.

It landed on the grass. Lily picked it up and studied it for a moment, working out what it was, before holding it up to him. ‘Daddy, you dropped your juice carton!’ 

The look on Camille’s face was of pure shock.  Drake never had his hip flask on him when he was with Lily. He usually reserved it for when they attended balls together as a couple and he had to endure the nobles. 

This was a family event. 

Lily had held his hip flask that was full of whiskey.

Drake hastily took the hip flask and shoved it in his pocket. He could feel Camille’s eyes staring at him in disbelief. 

Maxwell ran a hand through his hair awkwardly. ‘Hey, Lily, let’s go see Leo!’ he suggested loudly. Lily took his hand and they skipped towards Leo, who stood up and shouted, ‘Look, I’m Leo the Lion! I’m gonna get you!’ He proceeded to chase after Lily and Maxwell. 

While the families around them were laughing, eating food and talking, Drake and Camille stared at each other. It was like nobody else was there. Everyone had faded into nothing and all Camille could see was her husband looking like he wanted the ground to swallow him up. He looked ashamed. 

‘Inside,’ she whispered. ‘Now.’

   ****************************************************************************

‘Why are you drinking at this?’ Camille asked after she shut the door to their bedroom. Drake sighed. ‘I don’t know. It was a dumb idea.’

‘Damn right it’s a dumb idea!’ Camille burst out. ‘Drake, this is a family event. There’s no alcohol being served because this is meant to be a party for the kids.’

‘Look, I’m sorry-’ Drake tried to say. But she cut over him.

‘Lily picked up your hip flask.  She’s only four. I don’t want her finding that sort of shit.’ 

‘I won’t carry it with me again, okay?’ Drake said, his jaw set. ‘I just won’t. I’m sorry.’

Camille bit her lip. ‘Is there something you want to tell me? Have you been drinking more than usual?’

Drake thought back to the double measures. 

‘Not any more than usual,’ he said. ‘Just today. I felt nervous.’

‘I told you that you’re already the best family man,’ she said. ‘I think you’re brilliant. So does Lily. Our opinions are all that matter. I know we’re trying to promote ourselves better but that is just because of our jobs. In reality, I only want you to care about what your family thinks. We will never judge you, Drake.’ 

Drake looked down at the floor. He felt like such an asshole. 

‘I know you wouldn’t. I just needed liquid courage.’

Camille stepped forward and kissed him softly. ‘If you feel nervous or anxious, anything at all, just talk to me. Please. I’m the same, I get nervous about nobles and the public all the time! We’ve just got to be honest with each other. If it gets too much, we have to be able to count on each other here. Communicate openly. We have to be able to do that for Lily.’ 

Drake nodded and took her hands. ‘I didn’t mean to fuck up. It was a stupid idea.’ 

He threw the hip flask in the waste basket. 

Camille smiled.  ‘Let’s go back outside. Socialise. We can do it together.’ 

**************************************************************************************

Drake closed the diary. Camille had been shocked when she saw the hip flask. But why had he lied about drinking more than usual? If he had just been honest..

The front door lock began to turn. Drake jumped up from the sofa, hoping it was Camille. 

It was.

He felt like he hadn’t seen her in years, even though it had only been yesterday. She jumped when she saw him standing in the hallway, staring at her. 

‘You’re home,’ he said. ‘You’re finally home-’

‘I’m just picking up some of my notes for my next meeting with the girls,’ she told him. ‘I’ll only be a minute.’

She began to stride to where her office was. Drake followed her. She was wearing a white trench coat, purple bodycon dress and nude heels. She was business chic today; she always dressed up for her meetings. 

‘I’ve been reading your diary,’ he told her. ‘I didn’t realise you wrote in it so much. It’s amazing.’

‘Good. I’m glad you’re reading it,’ she replied, rummaging through her desk drawers. She found a folder and placed it in her bag. ‘Okay, I’m going.’

Drake caught her by the arm. ‘Camille, please. Talk to me.’

‘I told you we can talk when you’ve gone through the box-’

‘You keep saying that but you won’t tell me why!’ he protested. ‘You’re being secretive.’

‘Ha!’ she laughed bitterly. ‘Pot kettle.’

A wounded expression passed over Drake’s face. He looked down at the floor, trying to hide it, but Camille had spotted it. She gently placed the folder down on the desk. 

‘Drake..’ she whispered.

He kept his eyes on the floor, trying to hold back tears. He was not going to cry again. His shoulders shook as he kept the tears in, swallowing sobs. 

‘Drake..’ Camille whispered again. She reached out and placed her hands on either side of his face. She gently brought his face up to look at her. Drake’s face was wet. Camille rubbed his face softly with her hands. ‘Don’t cry,’ she said, her voice wavering. ‘Please don’t cry.’ 

‘I’m not crying,’ Drake replied, his voice thick. 

‘You are.’

‘Just sad, that’s all. I miss you.’

There was a silence. Camille wrung her hands together before murmuring, ‘I miss you too. I miss the real Drake Walker.’

‘I’m right here,’ he told her, his hands shaking. ‘I promise, I’m right here.’ 

They were a mere inch apart now. Drake could smell her coconut hair and Chanel perfume. His eyes roamed her face, taking in her brown eyes with gold flecks. He settled on her lips, like rosebuds. Before he could stop himself, he pulled her towards him and their lips met. 

Camille sank into him. He could taste her watermelon lipbalm. Her hands went up around his neck, pulling him in closer. Drake groaned and lifted her onto the desk, his hands reaching down to pull up the hem of her dress. Camille unbuckled his belt, his jeans falling to the floor. She pulled down his boxers, releasing his erection. 

As their tongues twisted and swirled like a vortex, Drake positioned himself at her entrance. She was ready for him. He was ready for her.  

Camille let out a cry as he entered her. He wasted no time in driving into her deep, wanting to fill all of her. She could feel every inch of him and she clenched his arms, digging her fingernails in as she braced herself for each hit and impact. 

Drake felt desperate. He needed her. He wanted her. He needed her. He needed her back in his life. He needed her back like this. He needed to know she loved him and that they were okay. That this could be salvaged. He needed to salvage this. 

‘No, Drake!’

She shoved him away. Drake stared at her as she jumped down from the desk and pulled her dress back down. Hot tears filled her eyes.

‘We can’t just fuck like this and pretend everything is okay!’ she shouted, the tears falling down her cheeks now. ‘This is making it too hard! I shouldn’t have come here, I should have just gone to my meeting without the fucking folder. But I see you looking upset and you say the real Drake is back and oh God, I wish that was true. I really want him back. But I can’t fuck you and pretend we are okay. I can’t lie to myself.’

Drake exhaled shakily. ‘I want to fix us.’

‘If you finish the diary, go through the box, we can talk,’ she told him. ‘That’s all I ask of you, Drake.’

‘I want to see Lily,’ he begged. ‘Please. Let me see my daughter.’

‘No, Drake.’

‘Why not?’ he burst out. ‘I miss her. She must miss me! She’s my girl.’ 

Camille closed her eyes. Her lips were shut tightly.  Drake kept begging, not caring how desperate he looked. 

‘I just want to see her, even for a minute, to see if she’s okay-’

‘She doesn’t want to see you, Drake!’

Drake stepped back as if he had been shot. Camille looked away from his horrified face, clenching her jaw. She couldn’t look at him.  Holding her folder to her chest, she moved past him and opened the study door, leaving him reeling. 

[agentscullerino]

The death’s call - Chapter 3

Alright so here’s chapter 3! I’m posting it already since I got an inspiration and it is a compensation for taking so long with chapter 2. Hope you all enjoy!

After the episode in the morning, Sharon had decided to stay in her room. She was sitting on the desk in front of the biggest window and gazed down into the garden. When she had arrived, she hadn’t seen how big and beautiful it was. The amount of different coloured flowers was amazing. She made a mental note to herself to go explore it later, when the weather would be better. Dark and gigantic clouds had started to gather to the horizon, making everything dim. The smell of rain was in the air, and it didn’t take long when the first drops hit the window. Her mind was so busy with thoughts. She had gained a lot of information, but yet she felt she knew nothing and just had more questions. Sharon started to hum quietly. That’s what she did when she felt uneasy. Feeling uneasy was probably an understatement, since she was basically doomed to live forever with a woman she knew nothing about, and to help children’s souls to move on. On top of that, everything happened against her will. She touched her own hand and it felt like she had just been holding it in a bucket full of ice cold water. So she literally was dead, but didn’t feel cold. Now that she thought about it, she didn’t really feel anything like she used to. The warmth of her skin was gone, and her heartbeat was much more silent and weaker than it used to be. Sharon wanted to cry, but nothing came out, Tarja had stolen her tears too.

…

Later in the afternoon, when Charlotte came into the room, Sharon was still sitting on the desk like a statue.

“Miss Sharon? Is everything alright?” Charlotte asked cautiously when she closed the door behind her. Sharon woke up from her trance and turned around to face Charlotte.

“Yes, sure.” She lied, though it was obvious the young maid didn’t buy her claim.

“If you say so, but I can listen if there’s anything you want to tell.” Sharon bit her lip and wondered whether it would be safe to ask Charlotte about Tarja. She decided to take a risk.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about me being here… and also about Tarja. She barely has told me anything about herself, so could you tell me something about her?” Charlotte sighed, and said:

“Your question was expected. I can tell you something, but I’d suggest you first take the bath I prepared for you. You still have some blood in your hair from the last night.” Instantly Sharon tried her hair at the back, and felt the dried patch of blood there. It was basically the only mark on her from the last night. Sharon agreed to Charlotte’s proposal and took the bath. It was nice to feel clean, and change clothes. She had forgotten to go through the wardrobe, which turned out to have amazing outfits inside. They had a bit similar style in them than Tarja had, but yet it felt they had more personal touch to them. She chose just a black tank top and a skirt to go with it. A moment later, she sat in a chair while Charlotte was brushing her hair and braiding it. After a long silence, Sharon opened her mouth again.

“Where is Tarja currently?”

“Miss Tarja is on duty. Few children in the hospital.” Charlotte explained.

“Why didn’t she ask me to go with her? I thought I have to work with her.”

“Yes, but your new self is not quite ready yet. It would not have been wise to go with her yet.”

“She sure doesn’t tell anything to me personally… She is just one big mystery.” Sharon scoffed.

“She tends to be quite secretive, but she has her reasons. Give some time to her, you will see her true nature. Miss Tarja is not a bad person after all.” Sharon had hard time to believe Charlotte’s words but didn’t want to start arguing. Instead she asked:

“If I may ask… Are you an undertaker? Did Tarja create you too?”

“No, I am just a human. When I was younger, miss Tarja helped me to escape from my abusive parents and offered a sanctuary from here. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.” Sharon was shocked, she had been thinking about Charlotte’s role in Tarja’s life, but had never imagined that Tarja had rescued her. Maybe Tarja had something else in her as well, and Sharon was determined to figure it out. Before being able to ask more, Charlotte was finished with her hair and left downstairs to prepare lunch.  

Tarja didn’t come for lunch, neither she did come for dinner. It was past nine in the evening, when Sharon was wandering on the halls of the mansion and exploring everything out of boredom. She had found a glorious library, where she definitely intended to go back. She also found out that there was a little green house next to the garden which you could access without going outside. In the basement there was a pool, showers and a sauna. It was like a mini spa, which intrigued Sharon a lot. How on earth Tarja had money to maintain the mansion, and had she bought it to begin with? Another question to add on her mental note list. When she came back to the ground level, she heard music. Someone was playing a piano and singing beautifully. She started to search for the source of the sound, and found a door slightly open at the end of the hallway. Sharon peeked in to the dimly lit room, and saw a grand piano in the middle of the room. Tarja was playing it and sang such a heart wrenching song. Sharon didn’t recognise the song, but noticed that Tarja was singing it in the same language she spoke when she lurked around her apartment. She was wearing a long, red dress which looked gorgeous on her. The candlelight played in her long, silky black hair, which was tied loosely with a ribbon. Sharon felt like her feet were glued to the floor, she couldn’t but listen and stare. Before she realised, Tarja finished the song and said:

“Please come in Sharon.” Sharon blushed slightly, and stepped in to the room.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb.”

“Not at all.” Tarja said and gestured her to sit to a chair next to the grand piano.

“It sounded wonderful.” Sharon said, actually meaning it.

“Thank you. I sing and play the piano to relax. I sense you have something you want to talk about?” Once again, she was staring at Sharon and it felt like she could see through her. Sharon had to look at her own feet in order to escape the stare.

“Hmm yes…  I’ve been thinking about what you said earlier. I am willing to see how it is to be an undertaker, since I don’t really have a choice anyway.” Sharon said, lifted her gaze to challenge the green eyes and continued:

“But I need to know everything vital. I want to know everything that involves me.” The expression on Tarja’s face wasn’t surprised, but amused.

“Very well. Do you have something special in your mind?”

“What will happen to the life I had? To my body?” Now Sharon knew she was really challenging Tarja, but didn’t break the eye contact. Tarja didn’t flinch, but said:

“Eventually… Someone will find your body. Then it gets buried of course. To humans it seems your life ended tragically, but in a normal way.”

“Can I… go see my friend or my mom? I mean…”

“Humans can’t see you unless you are assigned to carry them to the shadow. However, it is not wise to go search for your past life since it is not there anymore. In a way, Sharon, you did move on. “ For once Sharon thought that Tarja had some sense in what she was saying, but yet she couldn’t fully agree. Then she decided to go on the field that she knew was dangerous.

“Would you tell me exactly who are you?” You could see the change on Tarja’s face. From open and understanding into closed and harsh. Sharon had definitely hit some spot that should not have been touched.

“I’m not quite sure what you want to know about me?”

“Where are you coming from, and when did you became an undertaker?” The shadow on Tarja’s face grew, but she didn’t resist.

“When I was mortal, I lived in Finland.”

“That’s what the weird language was! You spoke Finnish to me!”

“Yes… I tend to use it when calming people, it is much more powerful.” Sharon nodded and waited for more.

“My time came in 2007, so it has been ten years. I have lived in here ever since. Later on, I brought Charlotte to live here as well.”

“Do you own the mansion?”

“No, it is owned by the undertaker clan. We just get to live here. Was that enough? I have something else to talk about.” For a moment Sharon wanted to ask more, try Tarja’s boundaries, but shut her mouth when she saw the dangerous glow in her eyes. She was hiding something painful.

“Yes.” Sharon said briefly, and watched Tarja to get up and pour herself a glass of wine.

“Do you want?” Tarja asked holding the bottle. “Sure.” When Sharon was sipping her wine, and Tarja had sat down, she began to tell about Sharon’s very first duty as an undertaker.

“Tomorrow night, there will be a fire in an orphanage. We have to go there and help the children. Since there are adults in the building too, it is expected to see other undertakers as well. It is not the easiest task to begin with, but I will guide you through it.”

“Wait… You know beforehand that there are people who are gonna die? Why don’t we rescue them?” Tarja let out a long sigh and said:

“Because it is not our job to do. Those children have faced their time and we must get them into the shadow. No arguing about this.”

“Alright. Can you teach me now how do I calm the children?” Tarja set her wineglass on the piano and Sharon mimicked her. Tarja grabbed Sharon’s hand and looked her straight in the eyes. Then she softly spoke:

“You can take their hand like this, or touch their shoulder. It is better if you lower yourself on their level. Close your eyes if it helps you to concentrate. Then, think about how much you want them to feel safe and warm.” Tarja closed her eyes, and soon enough Sharon could feel the warmth spreading all over her body. It was a feeling she could never get enough, every time it felt like she was experiencing it for the first time. She was sure there was something else in the touch too. Something magical, even… sexual.

“Now it’s your turn.” Tarja said, and Sharon blushed strongly. She was afraid Tarja could see her thoughts on her face. She took a better grip on Tarja’s hand, and closed her eyes. She concentrated, and sought for the will to relieve pain. Sharon felt how a wave of warmth travelled from her arms to her fingertips, travelling in Tarja. She felt how the warmth reached Tarja’s slowly beating heart, going through all the dark places in her. It was an amazing experience this way too. She kept pushing the force, enjoying how good it felt to spread the light in someone. Then she heard a small, pleased sigh escaping Tarja’s lips. She opened her eyes and let go of Tarja’s hand. The connection was broken. Sharon stared at Tarja who slowly opened her eyes, like waking up from a deep sleep. For the first time, Sharon could see how confused Tarja was. She blushed and was really perplexed. It was like someone had taken off the mask of coldness.

“Oh… well… That was quite a force…” Tarja mumbled and got up. “I think it is better we stop for today and go to sleep. Good night.” And once again, before Sharon had a chance to say anything, Tarja disappeared from the doors to the dark hallway. She really liked to just leave Sharon behind. Most definitely she was trying to avoid something, and what the hell was that small sigh? Was she… aroused? Did Tarja actually have similar thoughts that Sharon had?  She felt her head spinning as she tried to make some sense in the situation. Sharon decided that it was safer to not to talk about it for now, just in case. Maybe things would solve themselves. As she climbed back upstairs, she saw the rain stopping. The clouds made way to the rising moon, illuminating the garden below. Tomorrow would be a clear day to begin her duties as an undertaker.

(I need your inspiration in) It take a stranger to make it so easy it made me dance to the sound of you breathing it makes it last as my last breath escapes me

Delain – Don’t let go