#and heavy dom sub dynamics i feel are better written by someone else

[strawberrystepmom]

okay so i do have a question for everyone and it's do you think that the smut you write directly reflects your own personal sexual tastes and interests or do you change what you write a little bit to make it more palatable for bigger audiences?

[ot7always]

Ignorantly, Yours

Word Count: 10.6k

Pairing: Alpha!Jimin x Omega!Reader

Genre: Wolf!AU, Best Friends to Lovers!AU; fluff, smut, angst

Warnings: dom!Jimin, sub!reader, A/B/O dynamics, heat sex, fingering, unprotected sex, dirty talk (including a bit of possessiveness), marking, creampie, hair pulling, degradation, praise, rough sex, multiple orgasms

Rating: 18+

Summary:  You never could have expected your best friend to show up at your apartment right as you were about to go into heat, but when he did, something in you just wouldn’t let him go.

A/N: Truly, this was never supposed to be more than drabble. Which truly became a nuisance once it grew a lot and I had to go back and change a lot of things during editing. This is my first fic with some sort of supernatural element to it, and I had a lot of fun! I hope you guys enjoy, and please let me know what you think!

Reposted without the header gif and without any links or taglist. Sorry for any inconvenience if you were already looking at the first post. I will reblog with the taglist shortly.

--

Maybe it should have been embarrassing.

Maybe it was, 5 years ago when the habit first started.

5 years ago, when you’d had your first pre-heat. When the world had quickly become too overwhelming, your nose unused to the myriad of scents that assaulted you in your sensitivity. Your skin feeling so raw that even the clothes on your back felt uncomfortable.

It was then, in your childhood bedroom, amidst everything else, you recognized a scent that accompanied you through your life for as long as you could remember. A scent that felt like home, felt like warm days under the sun and shared laughter under blankets at midnight.

Your nose had led you to the bottom drawer of your dresser, your hands digging through the mess of fabric there until you pulled out an orange hoodie. You didn’t remember ever having it, and it looked small enough to have been from years ago – maybe even from before he presented.

But as you pulled it out of that drawer, the scent that might have been faint to you any other day filled your nostrils. A blueberry and pine scent that left you feeling calmer instantly, safer. Whether that had to do more with your friendship or his alpha status wasn’t a thought that crossed your mind. All you knew at the time was that it made everything better – he made everything better, even when he wasn’t there.

That marked the first time you laid in your bed, curling yourself around that small piece of comfort, your face shoved into the soft fabric. The peace that washed over you then was addicting, and any thought of giving up that feeling was unfathomable.

And if Jimin noticed how you were covered in his own scent when he saw you after every heat since that day, he didn’t say a thing.

--

You missed him a lot.

It wasn’t as though his university was that far away, and you should have grown used to it after several years of living apart for most of the year. Weekend visits were hardly enough when you’d spent more time together than apart growing up.

It definitely didn’t feel like enough when you were lying in bed, surrounded by the products of your skillful swiping over the years during Jimin’s visits. Hoodies, t-shirts – you had at least a dozen by now. All of which were tossed across your bed alongside you, your upper body already clad in one of his oversized hoodies.

When your pre-heat started affecting you yesterday, you’d already emailed your professors to tell them you wouldn’t be able to make it to class for the week. They, of course, understood – every university accommodated for their students to get a week off about every 3 months for this exact reason.

You were already overcome by exhaustion, Jimin’s scent wafting around the room lulling you into a sleepy daze.

It was common for an omega to nest amongst an alpha’s scent before their heat, though said alpha would typically be their partner.

It wasn’t something you liked to think on very often. Something like this couldn’t be that uncommon, right? After all, he was your first friend, and that went beyond being an alpha or omega. Besides, if it bothered him, wouldn’t he have already called you out for it by now? Wouldn’t he have said something when he realized that even when you’d started spending every heat with an alpha, his scent was still somewhere in there?

You tried not to worry too much about it. It didn’t matter, anyway.

Based on how you were feeling, you knew your heat would probably be here within 2 or 3 days. Which meant you should probably call someone soon to ask them to help you through it. It was normal practice to ask a friend to help you with your heat, but it was a line you’d never crossed with Jimin. Rejection was never something you dealt with well, and you were too afraid to put him, of all people, in that position. Knowing him, he would agree even if he didn’t want to.

Who, then? Namjoon? Hoseok? Both have agreed before, though the notion of crossing your room to pick up the phone you’d so foolishly left on the dresser was severely unappealing.

Instead, you let your eyes flutter shut, your face nuzzling into a blue and red scarf Jimin had forgotten at your apartment last winter. As the tranquility washed over you, your mind drifted closer and closer to sleep, warm and cozy and surrounded by Jimin’s scent.

Until the doorbell rang through your apartment.

At first you elected to ignore it, hoping whoever it was would get the hint and go away. But when it sounded out 2 more times after you hadn’t moved in several minutes, you groaned.

Wasn’t it bad etiquette to do this to someone? Surely that had to be written in a handbook somewhere.

With heavy limbs, you dragged yourself out of bed, flipping the hood up on your (well, Jimin’s) hoodie. As much as it may have been a bad idea to answer the door by yourself in pre-heat, your scent enveloped by an alpha’s would be enough to ward off unwanted advances. Though there were definitely bad people in the world, it took a truly insane person to go after an omega scented by an alpha.

When you made it to the door, you took a deep breath, preparing yourself to ream out whoever was on the other side. While you could sense someone’s presence there, every apartment was insulated, scent-wise, for protection. You didn’t know what to expect.

But of every possibility, when you opened the door, you didn’t expect to get assaulted by the very scent you’d been basking in only minutes ago. You didn’t notice how his eyes widened or how his pupils dilated when your scent hit him, too preoccupied by your body’s visceral reaction.

The full force of his scent almost had your knees buckling, your eyelids growing heavier as every single part of you instinctively yearned to curl up into him. Maybe your heat was closer than you thought.

When you were finally able to focus your eyes on him, his teeth were biting into his bottom lip, the hand holding an overnight bag clenched so hard his knuckles were white.

You didn’t give him the chance to say anything before you were stumbling forward, colliding messily with him, only focused on getting as close to him as possible.

You barely heard a mumbled ‘shit,’ not registering that he backed you into your apartment until you heard the door slam, his bag hitting the floor.

“Jimin,” you mumbled, your hands grasping at his shirt, eyes closed as you shoved your face into his neck, sighing happily when you were finally as close to the source of your happiness as possible.

But much to your discontent, he pushed you from him, keeping you an arms’ length away. The whimper you let out in response sounded pathetic even to your own ears, but every cell in your body was screaming to get as close to him as possible.

“Y/N,” he said firmly, the unusual hardness in his tone snapping you out of your daze slightly, wide eyes fixing onto his face. He audibly gulped at the glazed look in your eyes, before continuing. “You’re in heat.”

“I’m not,” you whined, trying to push against his hands, but he was stronger than you were.

“You will be,” he responded, letting out an incredulous sigh. “Fuck. I meant to surprise you but I forgot what the date was, I’m so sorry.”

“But I’m not yet,” you complained, changing tactics and instead aiming to shove your nose into the wrists near your shoulders. When your hair swished with your movement, sending a whiff of shampoo and your scent Jimin’s way, he groaned loudly.

“God, I can’t be here, I should go,” he said through gritted teeth. But when he started leaning down to pick his bag back up, you panicked.

“NO!” you yelled, launching yourself at him with your whole weight, not at all concerned about how he stumbled back in surprise. Your hands gripping onto his waist, you looked at him with wide eyes, your irises barely visible around the black of your dilated pupils. “Please don’t leave.”

His composure visibly cracked at the desperation on your face, but the sensation of your hands trembling in their grip on him brought him back to reality. “I can’t stay, I know that you know that-”

“Why?” you cried, your bottom lip trembling. The logical part of you deep inside knew you were being unreasonable, but even that part of you was a slave to instinct. All you knew was that Jimin got you through every pre-heat, and here Jimin was in front of you now. He’d never seen you like this, not ever in the last 5 years. And now that he has, nothing has ever been more unappealing than the thought of him walking out your front door.

He was very clearly taking shallow breaths, eventually bringing his own wrist to his nose to try to drown out everything else. Based on the low grunt he let out, it didn’t seem to be working very well.

“You smell like you’re going to go into heat at any moment, fuck, I can’t,” he panted, every part of him resisting the urge to grab you and scent you until there was absolutely no question whether you were his.

Except you weren’t his.

“I-I...” he stuttered, the scent of you not only clinging to him, but everywhere throughout the apartment occupying every part of his brain. “I need to go, I’ll call someone for you, Hoseok or-”

But that was definitely the wrong thing to say, because you sprung back from him as though you’ve been burned. When you looked at him as though he’d betrayed you, he knew he’d messed up.

“Why? You’re already here,” you spat out. “Don’t go,” you finished in a much weaker voice, pleading gaze fixing onto his.

A flash of pain went through him when he saw you hug yourself around the middle, as though to appear smaller. As though to protect yourself. From him.

“You don’t know what you’re asking of me.”

“I know exactly what I’m asking of you!” you wailed, the space between you feeling wider than it’s ever been.

“I can’t,” he repeated, a tinge of desperation making its way into his tone. Why was this so hard? From what he knew about omega heats and pre-heats, without a partner or relationship you shouldn’t have cared this much about which alpha stayed with you.

“Aren’t we friends? Can’t you just stay?” you begged, eyes brimming with unshed tears. Something about him trying to leave felt like a hole was being ripped through your chest, even if you’d understand why any other day.

“Of course we’re friends,” he said incredulously, a conflicted expression on his face. He knew exactly what you meant, exactly what was implied within that statement. When something like desire crossed his gaze, you felt a dash of hope bloom within you. “But...”

And it was crushed just like that. “Why don’t you want me when I want you? What’s wrong with me?” you sobbed, the tears finally spilling from your eyes as you dropped to your knees.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

The smell of an omega in distress was always something that set off an alpha’s protective instinct.

But the knowledge that he was the one who caused it brought forth an ugly wrenching in his gut.

For all the required readings Jimin had done in the course of his life, nothing had ever taught him what to do when the girl you’re secretly in love with was on the floor crying because you refused to fuck her through her heat.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to. God, did he want to.

But you weren’t there begging for his heart or his love or his devotion – you were begging for his body. Which wasn’t the problem. It wasn’t that he was offended. The problem was that he wanted more than this, and that right now was most definitely not the time to have that conversation.

And it’s not that he didn’t think you knew what you wanted. He knew you knew that you were asking for sex, but he also knew that was all you were asking for. Pre-heat was about preparing for sex, not romance.

As much as a heat could completely fog an omega’s brain, in pre-heat they could still make coherent decisions. It was typically a time spent preparing for heat, a time to call an alpha or to prepare for the much more painful option of suffering alone. They were typically in a perpetual state of exhaustion, bodies crying out for sleep to save up energy for their heat.

But more importantly, it was a time where omegas were at their most emotionally vulnerable, where they gave in to instinct. A time where they surrounded themselves in the things that made them feel safest, most at home.

He knew – he knew you used his scent to get through your pre-heat, but he never thought it meant that much. You were his oldest friend, and the fact that you found comfort in his scent was never something he questioned. He was an alpha, and you scented each other often – it made sense from a biology standpoint.

And – oh.

It hit him then that this was more than an alpha’s refusal to help their friend through their heat. This was more than a refusal for sex.

This was your biggest security blanket pushing you away at your most vulnerable, the person you trusted most to keep you safe leaving you when you were begging him to stay.

He really, really fucked up by coming here.

He should have checked the dates properly in the first place, and now he’d have to deal with the consequences. There was an unbelievably high chance that if he walked out that door, you’d have a breakdown, and he couldn’t just break your heart by leaving now.

Even if it ended up breaking his own. Even if you ended up thinking nothing of it, and he would never be able to erase the memory from his brain.

Because you were begging him to stay out of instinct, out of need. Not out of love. Not that he knew of, not the kind he wanted, at least.

But there was no reason to go there or question you about it, because he knew you’d say anything to make him stay, even if it wasn’t true. Not because you were a liar, but because that’s what your body would push you to do right now.

Knowing that the smell of his own panic would just set you off more, he took a couple deep breaths before falling to his knees in front of you. He had to force down the rising upset in his chest at the scent of your tears, every part of him screaming at himself for upsetting you this deeply.

“Hey,” he called out softly, his hands reaching out to gently pull your hands away from where they were hiding your face. At the sight of your red-rimmed eyes and wet cheeks, his heart tugged. “Look at me.” He slipped a hand forward to cradle your head, brushing against the hair at the nape of your neck. He hoped so badly that he could be a comfort to you, even when he was the one who hurt you in the first place.

He waited almost a minute for you to look up, doing his best to calm you in that time. When you finally raised your eyes to look at him, the fear in your expression was something he’d only ever seen a few times in his life. You were an expert at putting on a brave face for the world, and seeing the uncensored pain displayed there punched him in the gut.

“Baby,” he cooed, pulling you into his arms. He carefully maneuvered your face into the crook of his neck, smiling as you melted into his hold, a content sigh leaving you. He wrapped his arms around you, face rubbing into your hair as he stopped resisting the urge to scent you. He ignored the shiver that ran down his spine at your scent that only seemed to be growing stronger.

The two of you stayed like that for several minutes, your body so limp in his grasp that he had to keep both of you upright himself. He couldn’t tell whether you were awake, goosebumps rising to the surface of his skin as your nose brushed against one of the most sensitive parts of his body.

But when he stood up, wanting to get you somewhere more comfortable than the floor, he felt every muscle in your body tense, a low whine leaving your throat. Your hands grasped onto his shirt. “Jimin-”

“Shh,” he soothed, continuing to nuzzle into you as he stood you both up. “I’m not leaving.”

“You’re not?” you repeated, muffled into his shoulder.

“I’m not.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.” He scratched lightly at your scalp as the other hand stroked up and down the length of your back, humming when you finally relaxed again, your arms wrapping around to tug him as close as possible. “Good girl.”

Something in him awakened when he heard the hitch of your breath at his words, but he shoved it down. He had to keep a hold of himself while he still had the chance – because once you were in heat, there would be no rest for either of you. Not when it was taking his entire focus to hold himself back right now and it was only your pre-heat.

“I’m gonna take you to your room, okay?” he asked quietly. When you nodded, he scooped you up, your legs wrapping around his waist, head lolling sleepily against his shoulder.

You were very clearly exhausted, and guilt gnawed away at him for it. The emotional ups and downs of the past half hour must have taken even more out of you – while you tended to be quiet, you were never this quiet, not with him. You seemed to be asleep, steady exhales hitting the skin of his neck.

When he entered your room, his heart skipped in his chest at the sight of his belongings strewn across your mattress, a you-sized gap in the middle where you must have been laying. He couldn’t help the pride swelling in his chest, the possessive part of him thrilled at the notion of you burying yourself in his scent.

He supposed he should be happy you were asleep. Omegas tended to be self-conscious about their nest, which was why he was surprised you agreed to let him take you here so easily. The idea that you felt comfortable enough to let him in here without a fight brought forth a feeling in his gut that felt suspiciously like butterflies.

Easing off the shoes he’d never had the chance to remove at the front door, he brought you both down into the bed, careful not to jostle your form. He laid you down together, your body atop his, heart melting at your tiny noise of content.

He had to bite back a moan when you nuzzled further into his neck, your lips brushing against his skin.

Get it together, Jimin.

He didn’t know if he would ever be relaxed enough to sleep when you were on top of him already smelling like every sinful desire he’s ever had. His cock shouldn’t have been stirring when you looked so innocent, your hands curled up ever-so-slightly under his shirt. And despite everything in his mind telling him that he would regret this, his entire body was screaming in anticipation for this entire weekend.

This wouldn’t be the first time he’s helped an omega through their heat, but everything was different because this was you. Someone he cared about, someone he loved, and he knew you loved him too, whether it was in the way he wanted or not. Heat flared in him at the thought of you wet and desperate only for him, begging to be filled. He knew you’d be out of your mind with lust, and even before seeing it he knew it would be the most beautiful sight he’s ever set eyes upon.

Get a hold of yourself, Jimin.

It was absolutely no use to contemplate these things now, especially not when the scent of his arousal might wake you up and set you off prematurely. You both needed rest – he’d be damned if he didn’t make this the best heat you’d ever had just because he was tired.

And so he wrapped his arms around your middle, willing arousal from his brain and replacing it with thoughts of sleep. Luckily, his body must have been able to sense his need for rest before the upcoming days, and sleep found him easier than anticipated.

--

You awoke to your back hitting your mattress, the first thing you noticed being that your body felt like it was being burned alive. But when you inhaled, the scent of pure alpha overtook all thought, brain incapable of anything other than unadulterated need, arousal shooting to your core almost instantaneously.

When your eyes shot open, fire lit within you when they immediately locked onto Jimin’s dark gaze, his body hovering over yours like he was about to pounce. When he took in the neediness in your eyes, his lip upturned in a salacious smirk, stare burning holes into you.

“Rise and shine, little wolf,” he drawled, hands locking onto your ankles and dragging you down the bed until your face was right below his.

You shivered despite yourself at the predatory expression on his face, holding back the whine that threatened to escape. You felt incapable of speaking, every intake of breath only fogging your mind further, the fire in you becoming so potent it was painful.

You couldn’t help the keening whimper that escaped when he roughly fisted a hand into the hair at the nape of your neck, yanking until your entire neck was on display. You gasped and arched into his body with want as he leaned in to inhale deeply right above your collarbone. The feral growl he let out at your scent had you shuddering, trembling hands trying desperately to pull him closer, but he didn’t relent.

“Please,” you begged, shoving your body upwards as much as possible, desperate to feel his body against your own. At the feeling of his canines brushing against the skin of your neck gently, you felt new wetness rush from you. Your desperation was only growing exponentially with every passing moment, and it felt like if you didn’t get touched soon, you would surely die.

“You smell so fucking good,” he snarled, voice raspier than you’d ever heard it before. He sounded almost pained, and it only set you off further. Everything in you ached for his touch, your cunt clenching around nothing despite Jimin not even having touched you yet. You needed it – needed to be touched, you needed him to quell the ache.

“Hurts,” you gasped out, still trying and failing to grind against his body above you.

“Aw, baby, I’m sorry,” he cooed, pressing his free palm down onto your clothed centre. His breath hitched as you started forcefully grinding against it immediately, a choked whine slipping from your lips at the sudden pressure right where you needed it most.

“Alpha...” you moaned, rutting shamelessly against his hand as you pushed further against the hand in your hair, baring more of the soft expanse of your neck. Your eyes shut as pleasure rocked your system, but it wasn’t enough. You needed more, his cock in your drenched cunt, his nails raking down your body as he utterly ravished you. You whined loudly at the thought, arousal slipping from you. It was clear he noticed when he hissed.

“Fuck, look at you. You’re dripping, so fucking desperate,” he panted, somehow sounding almost as ruined as you. “I’m gonna fuck this cunt senseless, fill you up so good you’ll never ask for anyone else again. Do you want that, little omega? Want me to make you mine?”

Any other time you might have questioned his possessive words, but any rational part of your brain was long gone. No, all that existed was you, Jimin, and your excruciating need to be filled.

“Yes, yes, yes,” you cried, whimpering at the imagery he put in your head. You wanted nothing more than to be his bitch, to take his cock and his seed and his knot. “Fuck me, please.”

“You beg so nicely,” he breathed, and you keened at the praise. You gasped as he sat back and quite literally ripped the shirt from your body, following suit with the rest of your clothes. You didn’t have it in you to complain, not when he was yanking your legs apart, gaze laser-focused onto your centre. “Don't worry, baby, your alpha is gonna take care of you, okay?”

You only nodded furiously, hips bucking upward suddenly as Jimin wasted no more time, two fingers smearing through your heat before thrusting abruptly into you. You finally felt some sort of relief at being filled, but it wasn’t enough. The stretch wasn’t satisfying enough, and your desire for more only amplified. But it seemed he knew this, adding another finger wordlessly.

“God, this cunt is so fucking hungry for me,” he growled, pistoning his fingers in and out roughly before grinding the heel of his hand into your clit.

You cried out as pleasure reared on you embarrassingly quickly, but no part of you wanted to cum without his cock inside you, dragging against your sensitive walls.

“Jimin...” you moaned, arching your back as you sought to push yourself closer to the source of your pleasure. He almost groaned at the sound of his name coming so wantonly from your lips. “Want you, please.”

“Yeah? You want to get stuffed?”

The garbled response you gave was nowhere near coherent, but it didn’t take a genius to see what you wanted. When he gave a low chuckle and pulled himself from his sweatpants, you started salivating immediately. He was girthy, vein visibly spanning the underside beneath his hand as he palmed himself. The head looked almost purple, the tip leaking. You needed it inside you.

Before you even realized it yourself, you were turning over onto your front. By the time you’d planted your face down, ass up, Jimin was already growling, roughly digging his fingers into your asscheeks. As several more seconds went by without his cock in you, you arched your back further, whining as he only dug his fingertips in harder.

“Such a good little wolf,” he crooned, hissing when your arousal dripped from your pussy to the bed. “Getting yourself so nice and ready for me. You need cock that badly? Can’t wait for it?”

You could have cried when you finally felt the tip of his cock at your entrance, but you didn’t have time to do or say anything before he shoved all the way in to the hilt without warning.

You must have screamed then, but you hardly noticed anything apart from the way he set a quick pace, hardly noticed when the tears left your eyes, body swimming in relief and euphoria. Every snap of his hips brought forth a moan from your lips, fingers digging helplessly into the sheets by your head.

“Tell me how it feels,” he snarled, moving to hold your hips up when the overwhelming pleasure left you unable to do it yourself.

It was all you could do to whimper, body feeling as though it was in the clouds as your walls clamped down on Jimin’s cock. He was stretching you so well, the slight burn nothing compared to the waves of pleasure he was sending through your entire being. You took a breath to respond to him once you registered what he said, but when his cock brushed against that spot inside you, it only left you as a choked moan.

“This needy cunt just sucks me right in, huh?” he groaned when your walls clenched down on him again, as though to trap him inside you. But it made no difference to him, his thrusts only continuing, fast and precise as your walls fluttered around him, whines falling from your lips. Recalling how responsive you’d been to praise earlier, he kept talking. “Doing such a good job for me, baby,” he hummed, smirking when he felt the shuddering of your body beneath his hands. “So fucking perfect for me, taking this cock so well.”

His words shot through you like fire, and combined with the drag of him inside you, you were propelled toward your end.

“Alpha...” you whimpered, pushing back onto his cock, a particularly rough thrust pulling a shout from your lips. You were so close to slipping over the edge, the squeezing of your walls around him more and more insistent as you approached your end. “Please.” It was as though no other words existed in your vocabulary, but Jimin could read you perfectly well, as though he was made for you.

“What’s that, hm? Baby’s gonna cum?” he taunted before reaching around to rub at your clit. “Let go then, milk my cock. I want to hear you.”

The added stimulation was more than enough to propel you into your orgasm, your mouth agape as your walls clamped down on his cock. You distantly registered Jimin’s moans from above you as he held you up and fucked you through your it, the sparks of pleasure never-ending.

But while his thrusts became less harsh, they did not lower in their intensity whatsoever. And as the fog in your head receded some from your orgasm, you only felt that much more sensation as you regained your bearings.

Rather than a mindless slave to pleasure and want, with your brain partly yours again you could truly feel. Feel the cotton of the sheets where they were clenched between your fists, feel the slight strain in your knees as they dug into the mattress, feel Jimin’s fingers anchored onto your hips, as though you would float away if he let go.

You could truly feel every drag of his cock against you, every grind, and when he perfectly maneuvered to hit against your g-spot, you were left breathless once again.

But with your increased coherence, your body craved more than just cock – you wanted closeness, wanted Jimin’s body against your own, his groans in your ear, his chest against your back.

“Jimin,” you called out, voice needy but noticeably more present.

His thrusts slowed but didn’t stop. “Hm?”

Rather than attempt to formulate an answer, you blindly reached a hand in his direction and made a grabbing motion. It was accompanied by your best impression of some sort of demanding noise, but you sounded like a spoiled brat even to your own ears.

He clearly didn’t mind though, huffing a laugh at your antics before coming down to your level, pressing some of his weight into your back as he nuzzled your neck.

“This what you want, baby?” he asked, wrapping his arms snugly around your middle. It would almost be cute, if not for the snap of his hips he opted to punctuate his question with.

You could only shiver and take it as he set a slow but intense pace, his cock slowly dragging out of you before he thrusted forward quickly in one single motion. But even in its intensity it was intimate, his lips tracing nonsensical patterns into the skin of your shoulder, his moans increasing in volume as you whined your pleasure.

His pace slowly but surely built you back up toward a second release, Jimin’s thrusts growing faster as he approached his own end. It wasn’t long before your moans were increasing in volume again, hips squirming beneath Jimin’s as that pressure in your abdomen only built and built.

“Gonna cum for me again, little wolf?” he growled directly into your ear, digging his fingers in close to your scalp and pulling your face up out of the sheets. No longer muffled, your moans were loud and unabashed, your pleasure surrendered entirely to him.

“I’m gonna fill this cunt up, gonna stretch you wide, is that what you want?”

As much as you were more coherent than last time, the effect his voice had on you was visceral, eyelids fluttering shut and goosebumps raising on your skin. When you only nodded with what little movement you could make within his grasp, he growled.

“Answer me!”

“Yes, yes!” you pleaded, eager to please. “Want you to fill me up, Jimin, please.”

“Such a good girl,” he moaned in response, moving to suck bruises into your neck. The thought of being marked by him for all to see only lit a new fire within you.

But when you felt the press of his canines brushing against the sensitive part of your neck, it was as though something in you snapped. You almost squealed as the orgasm rained down on you unexpectedly, something resembling ‘Jimin’ spilling from your lips, though you paid it no mind.

You were so lost in your pleasure you hardly noticed Jimin’s gruff yell from above you as he came, only registering it as his knot started to stretch you.

He shushed you gently as you whined, warmth still spilling into you as it finished inflating. Panting breathlessly against your back, he softly cupped your face as you caught your breath.

The stretch was more overwhelming than painful, every tiny movement seeming to shift his knot inside you enough to make you gasp. You should have grown used to the feeling by this point in your life, but it managed to catch you off guard every single time. You never felt ready for the immense stretch or the soreness that lingered between waves of your heat.

After several minutes of silence, breaths finally quieting, he spoke up.

“Are you okay?” he asked, hands reaching to keep you from squirming too much under him, knowing you’d only make the discomfort worse. “Relax for me.”

You nodded in response, letting yourself release the tension from your limbs as he continued to gently nose at your neck. His scent washed over you, but in this brief limbo between waves of your heat it spurred only calmness rather than arousal.

For you, at least, the first wave was always the worst in terms of self-control and mindedness. That was why it was essential for omegas to share their heat only with someone they could trust – if not a partner, then a friend. While omegas were at their most emotionally vulnerable during pre-heat, they were at their most physically vulnerable during the heat itself. In theory, Jimin could have done whatever he wanted, and you would have begged for it.

He hummed in approval when you went still beneath him, rolling the two of you onto your side so that you were no longer supporting his weight.

“Sleepy?” he inquired softly as he watched you stifle a yawn.

You only nodded again, reaching for Jimin’s hand to make him wrap it around you more snugly, pressing yourself as close to him as possible. You shivered as his knot shifted with your movement, though it didn’t ache as much as it did initially. You felt so full, his cock still half-hard within you, release still painting your walls with nowhere to go.

You let your eyes shut, soreness and exhaustion taking up residence temporarily before the next wave. As much as a heat could feel so intense it hurt, you found that the time between each wave was truly the most difficult. It was the time where every ounce of muscle pain and sleep deprivation hit you, but it was also the time where, to put it simply, if you didn’t recharge you were fucked.

Heats were strenuous on the body, and it unfortunately wasn’t abnormal for omegas to be brought to the emergency room from dehydration and malnutrition from their heat. That was why the medical professionals tended to encourage of-age omegas to spend their heats with a trusted partner – it was just safer altogether. It was difficult to push past the fog of exhaustion to take care of yourself when you were on your own, though not impossible.

A tiny whine was the only acknowledgment you gave when you felt his knot go down enough to slip from you. You made a noise of complaint as Jimin pulled from your side, but he quickly returned to you, wiping away the mess that was now between your thighs.

“If I help you, can you sit up?”

After hearing your noise of affirmation, he pulled you up so that your back rested against the headboard, careful not to move you too quickly. But despite that, you couldn’t help the lightheaded feeling that came with the motion, reaching out to steady yourself on Jimin’s arm.

When he took in your rapid blinking and unfocused eyes, his concern grew exponentially. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Tired,” you mumbled, leaning into his touch when he moved to stroke your face.

“Let’s eat something and then we can nap, okay?”

“Mm.”

He moved away from you quickly to grab things from under your bed. One of the first things they taught omegas after presenting was that it was essential to keep a food and drink store in your room during your heat. One of the most important parts of pre-heat was not only securing a heat partner if desired, but also packing enough nutrient-rich food and drinks to last through your heat if you’re unable to leave the room.

You hadn’t realized you’d dozed off until Jimin’s hand on your shoulder startled you awake. He took your hand in his own only to wrap your fingers around an energy bar he’d opened for you.

“Eat,” he commanded, though the soft, caring tone characteristic of Jimin never left his voice.

The thought of putting in effort to do anything was unappealing, but once you started, you realized how famished you were. When you finished your first bar within moments, he handed you a second, eating some for himself at the same time.

He didn’t waste any time with handing you a Gatorade bottle once you were finished eating, ensuring you could hold it yourself before getting his own.

As much as he seemed to be in a rush, this was a better safe than sorry type of situation. While sometimes you could squeeze in some sleep between waves of your heat, it sometimes felt like one huge gamble in terms of time. You’ve had downtimes of as little as 10 minutes in the past, so you were grateful that he was hurrying you along.

When he noticed you stopped drinking, he grabbed it from you to place it on the nightstand a safe distance away from the bed.

“Do you want anything else?” he asked, shoving all of the garbage into a bag to deal with another time.

“You.”

He turned around quickly, thinking you were going into your next wave, but froze at the sight of you simply blinking up at him sleepily.

He bit down on his lip to suppress a fond smile when you reached for his hand, severely hoping his face wasn’t as red as it felt.

He let you tug him forward, settling beside you in bed before pulling you securely into his side.

As much as you might have loved to talk or quietly cuddle, you were out like a light as soon as you laid your head down on his shoulder, face tucked securely into his neck.

--

The next two days went by in a blur. You never tended to remember very many specific moments from your heats besides that you felt good, and were definitely sore after. The combination of physical and mental exhaustion along with the mind-numbing desire didn’t seem to be conducive to proper brain function.

Fuck. Eat. Fuck. Eat. Nap. Rinse. Repeat.

“Kiss me,” you demanded, pulling Jimin down toward you by his shoulders.

From what you could tell, it was the last day of your heat, also making for the most coherent day. The consequences of not sating your heat on the last day were more uncomfortable than painful, and the sex almost resembled what it would any other day.

He obliged you easily, mouth meeting yours as he snapped his hips, filling you up and stretching you all in one stroke. He nipped at your lower lip as you moaned freely, arching your back to feel as much of his skin as possible.

You couldn’t help the increase in volume when he settled with his length in you, grinding his pubic bone into your clit. It seemed that Jimin was feeling similarly, both of you simply panting by each other's mouths rather than doing any sort of kissing like you’d intended.

It was only minutes before you felt the familiar tightening in your abdomen, Jimin groaning above you when he felt you clench around him. You whimpered as he sucked new bruises into the skin of your neck, a shiver making its way down your spine as he reached the soft skin below your ear.

But every part of you was screaming out for more.

“Mark me.”

Jimin froze instantly at your words, but it seemed that you weren’t properly considering the weight of your words, only urging him to continue his motions in search of your high.

A mark wasn’t permanent, but it was no small thing. More than a mark of “possession,” it was a mark of an alpha's care and loyalty, a mark of an omega’s trust. It was only something ever shared in serious relationships, and it would sometimes take partners years to reach that point.

“Jimin,” you whined when he ignored what you said. Every instinctive part of you wanted it so badly, your head subconsciously tipping back to give him easier access.

“No.”

“Jimin...”

“Don’t you know what you’re saying?”

“Please-”

“I said no,” he snarled, speeding up the snap of his hips enough that you were shifting up the bed. “Tomorrow, when this is all over,” he panted above you, teeth bared, “Then we’ll talk.”

He didn’t let you get a word in edgewise, continuously pulling himself from you fully before abruptly sheathing himself to the hilt once again.

You were left gasping for breath, swimming in sensation as your abdomen tightened, all else forgotten for the time being.

When he shifted to one side, a hand dropping to rub circles into your clit, you saw white. Your nails sharply dug into the skin of Jimin’s back where they were held, waves of pleasure battering you nonstop as he continued his thrusts.

But it was only moments later that he seated himself into you fully, warmth spilling into you as his knot inflated for the nth time since your heat began. It didn’t leave you gasping the same way as the first time, but a groan still wrenched itself from your throat at the sensation.

As soon as his body collapsed onto yours, you knew that your heat was finally over. The feeling was inexplicable, almost as though a weight had been lifted from the back of your mind.

You might have addressed the words uttered from your mouth only moments before if not for the debilitating fatigue that filled every limb and every square inch of your brain.

So, against your best judgment on any other day, you knocked right out.

--

When you next awoke, it wasn’t because desire ripped you from slumber, nor was it because your scent set off Jimin enough to wake you.

In fact, you were alone in your bed, immediately cringing at the sight of all the questionable stains dotting the sheets.

Good thing you had a mattress pad.

You sat up, wincing as every muscle screamed in protest. From your neck all the way to your fingertips, everything hurt. You’d probably be feeling this for days. It definitely didn’t help that the stench of sex was so strong you could feel a headache coming on.

You didn’t have time to ponder on Jimin’s whereabouts before he was coming back in through the doorway, half-dressed with water in hand.

He sent you a smile when you met eyes, but it was lost on you because as soon as he was here, every interaction over the past few days flooded your mind at once. And this time, there were no hormones to mask proper thought.

You asked – no, begged – him to stay. Even when he told you no.

You’d practically thrown a tantrum, what was wrong with you? Since when did your pre-heat make you throw respect out the window?

He wasn’t here because he wanted to stay, he was here because you forced him to. He was here because you were pathetic enough to get on the floor and beg him to stay, and Jimin, for the life of him, didn’t know how to say no to people. How could he look at you right now?

“Y/N?” he called, sounding puzzled. He must be able to smell your rising distress coming off you in waves, but you paid him no mind as you continued to recall the past few days, hating yourself more and more with every passing second.

You’d basically forced him to stay with you and fuck you for nearly four days without ever talking about it before.

It was more difficult to put together the pieces of what happened in your heat, memories mostly a blur of pleasure and then sleep.

But-

Fuck.

“Mark me.”

Your blood ran cold instantly.

Were you fucking insane? You dug your fingernails into your palms harshly to check if you were dreaming. Unluckily for you, you weren’t.

Was there any coming back from this? You couldn’t blame him if he could never look at you the same, if he never spoke to you again. Who would tell their heat partner – the first time they spent a heat together – to mark them?

It didn’t matter that you’d known each other since before you were even forming proper memories. It didn’t matter, because that wasn’t how this worked. You didn’t just ask your friends to mark you, no matter how much you loved each other.

A mark was something you shared with someone you intended to be lifelong partners with. Someone you’d dedicate your life to, someone you might want to have kids with someday.

God, what was wrong with you?

You didn’t notice his approach until a hand met your shoulder, too engrossed in staring at the floor as thoughts whirred in your head.

“What is it?” he asked, concern quickly turning into panic at finding you in this state with no explanation.

But it was as though with one touch, the floodgates broke, and angry tears started spilling from your eyes. Tears that had nothing to do with Jimin and everything to do with yourself.

He jumped back slightly in surprise, and you didn’t give him the chance to touch you again before you were furiously wiping the wetness from your face.

“God, are you okay? Did I hurt you?” he questioned frantically, hands returning to your shoulders as he angled his face to try to meet yours, but you only kept turning your head to avoid him. He looked like he didn’t know what to do with himself, whether to join you on the bed or continue hovering awkwardly from the bedside. “Talk to me, please-”

“Do you hate me?” you choked out, eyes fixed on a random, insignificant spot on the sheets.

That seemed to quiet him instantly. “Huh?”

“I forced you here,” you whispered, though it seemed that the words didn’t want to stop once they started, volume only rising as you carried on. “You came here to be nice and then you tried to leave and I didn’t let you. You said no so many times and I begged you to stay until you couldn’t say no anymore! I don’t even know what I was thinking, I guess I wasn’t thinking at all-”

“Hey-”

“I’m so sorry, I don’t know how you must think of me right now but I wouldn’t blame you if you thought I was disgusting, I think I’m disgusting, god-”

“Hey, look at me,” he urged, prodding lightly at your chin until you raised your head enough to meet his gaze. When he saw your red eyes and miserable expression, it was as though a piece of himself broke. “I stayed because I wanted to.”

“You didn't, I remember you told me no, you ‘wanted to’ because I made you.”

“It’s not like that,” he replied, expression almost pained.

“Don’t lie to me to make me feel better,” you snarled, though it came off more broken than aggressive. “Stop trying to protect me, tell me when you’re mad at me!”

“I’m not mad at you.”

“Jimin-”

“You trust me, don’t you?”

The sudden question was enough to give you pause. “You know I do.”

He took a moment to settle onto the bed beside you, stretching out an arm to invite you in to lay with him. After only a moment of hesitation, you did.

“Then trust me when I say I wanted to stay,” he said firmly, stroking calming circles into your side. “You know I don’t like lying to you.”

It was true, he didn’t. Which summoned the question – if he wanted to stay, why did he refuse so many times? Were you sure he wasn’t lying now?

No – that wasn’t Jimin. Plus, you knew him so well that you doubted he would lie to you about something this serious, not when he was such an open book. But you didn’t have long to think about it before he piped up again.

“You asked me something yesterday,” he started, and you could hear in his tone that he was treading carefully.

You tensed up immediately when you processed his words, breath quickening as you anticipated what he was about to say. Was this the part where he told you he’s not mad he stayed, but he never wanted to speak to you again? You’d relaxed enough in the past few minutes that you’d almost forgotten about what you’d said yesterday. Almost.

“Why?” he asked simply.

Why. An obscenely loaded question contained within one 3-letter word. And yet, an answer wasn’t so easy.

“I don’t know,” you stalled.

“Don’t do that,” he scolded. “Really think. I know you, and I know you’d never be that nonchalant about a mark, ever. What changed?”

“Nothing changed!”

He only turned to give you a disapproving look before leaning his head back against the headboard and shutting his eyes. It was clear that he wasn’t going to make any more conversation until you properly pondered his question and gave him a real answer.

Why?

Did you even know why?

You wished you could say it just slipped out, that there was no other reason.

Maybe any other time you’ve said something questionable or downright stupid that would fly, but not for something like this.

Even at their drunkest, people didn’t ask their friends to marry them with the full intent of following through and starting life as an actual married couple.

Just the same, an omega doesn’t just ask a friend to mark them, mate them, not even in heat. Omega heats made it a fairly common occurrence to fuck your friends (at least, a select few) while unmarked, and it wasn’t as though the desire to be marked stemmed from a heat. If it were, platonic marking would be a thing already. And sure, marking made sex feel better, but heats were sexual, and marks were... more.

That was the problem, wasn’t it? There was no easy excuse, no escaping this.

One might say an omega was a slave to instinct in their heat, but instinct didn’t come from nowhere.

The instinct to nest came from the pursuit of safety in a vulnerable time. The instinct to ‘hibernate’ came from the need to save up energy for a heat. The instinct to scent came from the desire for intimacy and comfort. The instinct to fuck came from hormonal cycles and the body’s inherent goal to breed.

The instinct to be marked as an omega? To ask for it?

The need for emotional security, to know that your feelings were returned – attraction, desire, love.

Love?

If your love for Jimin was supposed to be a secret, it wasn’t a very well-kept one. You talked every day since you were kids, knew each other's mannerisms so well you didn’t need words to communicate, gravitated toward each other in every group setting, cried together when you separated for university...

You loved him, without a doubt. It was obvious. But was it more than that? Was your body trying to tell you something that you didn’t even consider?

“I...” you started but immediately trailed off, limbs so tense you almost seemed ready to run away. This wasn’t a conversation you ever imagined could take place.

“Don’t be scared. You can tell me anything.” Were you imagining things, or did his tone sound almost... hopeful?

“I’ve never asked someone to mark me before this.”

He only hummed lowly in response. You knew that he knew this already, but it seemed that this time, he wouldn’t call you out for circling around the question.

“I’ve never met someone who I felt more for than you. Safe, comfortable, happy, loved.” You paused, taking a deep breath. “I love you a lot, you know?”

His breath hitched despite himself, even though he knew you didn’t mean what he wanted you to mean. “I know,” he replied, sounding almost disappointed.

“But...”

“But?” he responded, allowing that tiny thread of hope to wind around his heart one more time.

“But I don’t know what I’m feeling,” you finished, panic increasing exponentially by the end of your sentence, your body almost feeling as though it was trembling.

“Hey, it’s okay,” he rushed, bringing you closer to rub his cheek into your hair. Was it cruel of him to feel some sort of joy at your words when you were clearly scared and confused?

His scent washing over you helped calm you some, but even still, you couldn’t stop thinking. What were you feeling? Did you want something more than friendship, or was this entire situation just putting thoughts in your head? Sure, you were undeniably compatible sexually, and sure, you found him attractive, but did you want a relationship? A romantic one? But even then, how much would that really change? What did you want? Would Jimin be disgusted with you? Let you down easily? It would have to be the latter, right?

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked-”

“No,” you cut him off.

“Huh?”

“You should’ve. I can’t be stupid forever.”

“You’re not stupid.”

“I am stupid, what kind of person doesn’t know whether they...” Even despite knowing he could tell exactly what you were trying to say, the words wouldn’t come from your lips. Were you in denial? Embarrassed? Something else?

“Emotions don’t have to be straightforward.”

“I wish they were.”

He breathed a laugh at that. “Believe me, I know.”

“Jimin, be honest with me.”

“I’m always honest with you.”

“Let’s say, hypothetically, you have this friend. You’re very good friends – best friends even. You see each other as much as possible, all that. And she tells you one day she wants to talk.”

“Oh? What’s her name?”

“Uhhhhh...” you paused, pulling out the first name that came to mind. “Susan.”

He choked back a laugh, though you could still feel his chest bouncing beneath your head. “My friend Susan. Okay, go on.”

“And she tells you that something happened, and it spurred this huge train of thought that had never occurred to her before. Something that made her think about your entire relationship as friends, and made her think about herself.”

“Uh huh...”

“And she had to wonder, how much of her heart was invested in this relationship? That answer was easy – all of it. But what really had her confused was what parts of her heart were in it.”

You fidgeted nervously, but instead of saying something, Jimin only reached for one of your hands, intertwining your fingers together.

“But what really scared her the most was – how would you react? What happens when your best friend tells you that maybe your love for them extends beyond friendship?”

You took several deep breaths, trying to muster up the courage to finish the ‘story’ you’ve started. There was no backing out of this now. Your hand squeezed his hard enough that it must have hurt him, though he didn’t seem to mind.

“If she told you she thought she loved you as more than a friend, how would you respond?” you asked, trying to inject as much nonchalance into your voice as possible and failing miserably. You could feel your palms getting sweatier, and you thought your teeth might chew straight through your bottom lip. You held your breath once you heard Jimin take one of his own, preparing mentally for whatever was about to leave his lips.

“I would tell her I love her back.”

It was as though time stopped. “You... you what?”

Unwilling to let you hide your face anymore, he pulled you over so that you were straddling him, your heart filling when your eyes met his, full of honesty and understanding and... love.

“I would tell her I love her back. That if she wanted me, I was hers.”

Your eyes searched his face desperately for several seconds longer, waiting for the moment this bliss would break, the moment he took his words back, left you heartbroken before you’d even properly processed that it was his to break. But that moment never came.

“Really?” you whispered, eyes wide and screaming with vulnerability, but also wonder. The petty part of him wished he could fault you for being so oblivious, but it wasn’t your fault that you two had simply never outgrown the innocent intimacy from childhood, even after presenting.

“Really.”

“I do want it. You. I want to try. If you can be patient with me.”

“Okay. Give me a chance and I’ll make you fall in love with me for sure.”

“Oh.” As hard as you tried to purse your lips, the smile still broke its way through, eyes crinkling happily as every insecurity felt like it left at once. Was it this easy? Could happiness come so quickly in a moment, just like that?

“Oh,” he replied simply, beam splitting his face at your barely-contained joy, your expression so innocent even after all that happened the past few days.

“Oh,” you repeated, though this time the word undoubtedly seemed to harbour more weight, brows furrowing.

“Hm?”

“That’s why you said no, isn’t it? The reason you wanted to stay but tried to leave?”

The sad smile that spread across his face at that was all the answer you needed, the briefly-forgotten guilt coming back instantly.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” he assured, pulling you close enough that your bodies were plastered together. “It all worked out anyway, right?”

You nodded, relaxing in his arms. If your brain wasn’t going a mile a minute right now, you were so comfortable you could’ve slept like this.

You allowed yourself several minutes to simply lay in his arms, that familiar blueberry-pine scent making you heart feel lighter and lighter.

“So,” you mumbled.

“So.”

“What changes now?”

“What do you want to change?” he replied.

“I asked first.”

He chuckled lightly. “Fine. Well...” You leaned back in confusion when he started pushing you up and off of him. “I think being able to do this is a good change.”

He leaned his face into yours, giving you a moment to back away before gently pressing his plush lips to yours.

You’d kissed already in your heat – you remembered that much. But this wasn’t a kiss that demanded your surrender, nor was it fast, or rough. It was just soft, intimate – because sometimes, emotions were easier said through actions rather than words.

You slid your hands into his hair, dragging your nails against his scalp as you deepened the kiss. His hands traced nonsensical patterns into the skin of your back, holding you close as though you’d ever want to leave. It was so easy to get lost in him, in the way he held you, touched you, kissed you, as though you were something to be cherished.

It wasn’t long before the kiss started to get more heated, though, and you couldn’t help yourself from nipping at his bottom lip. He made a low noise in response, a hand moving to grip your ass as the other winded its way into your hair.

It was when his hand made contact with your bare ass that you remembered that you were naked throughout this entire ordeal. And just as you processed that, his hand started inching its way slowly but surely between your legs.

“I think the fuck not, Park Jimin,” you gasped, breaking the kiss and throwing his hand from your body.

He burst into bright laughter at your words, eyes forming crescents that would make any person’s day better. His happiness was contagious, and you couldn’t hold back the giggles at the sound of him.

“How sore are you?” he questioned, tiny giggles still escaping him. You thought you detected a hint of concern somewhere in there, but you couldn’t blame him for being in an obscenely good mood.

“Ugh. Are you not sore at all?”

“Not really? Mostly hungry, I guess.”

“I hate you. It feels like all of my limbs want to detach from their sockets, and don’t even get me started on what it feels like between my legs. You and your dick can go die.”

Your words only set off another round of laughter from him, his grin wide as he took in your fake pout.

“Are you sure you want that? You seemed to enjoy it from where I was standing. You’re sending me mixed signals here,” he teased.

You let out a childish noise of complaint. God, was this what you were getting yourself into? You were already used to his antics by now, but now you had to deal with them while he flirted too? Someone send help.

“Pity me a bit,” you whined, giving him the best wide-eyed pout you could muster. Though, it only seemed to raise his mood even more.

“I’m sorry I broke you,” he said.

You smacked him a bit harder than you would normally. “Jiminnnnnnnnn,” you said, stringing out the word for as long as a breath would allow.

“If I made you food, would you forgive me?”

“...I’m listening.”

“What if I said I already made you food?”

“What?!” you perked up, any grudge you might have held disappearing in an instant. “What did you make?”

“Lay down and find out in 5 minutes, I’m tired,” he responded, laying down comfortably and encouraging you to do the same. You didn’t require much convincing, cuddling back into his side. This position wasn’t anything abnormal for you two, but it felt different now. Newer, more intimate.

Needless to say, 5 minutes turned into 2 hours after you’d both fell asleep.

But when Jimin placed a bowl of re-heated stir-fry in front of you 2 hours later, you would say he secured his place as fully, unequivocally yours.

[illfoandillfie]

A Different Kind of Education: I Is For Impact Play (Chapter 8)

ADKoE MASTERLIST

Pairing: Professor!Roger Taylor x Fem!Reader

Series Summery:  After being broken up with for not being kinky enough, Reader seeks out her professor to give her some private tutoring so she can win her boyfriend back.

Chapter Summery:   A new week and a new lesson, but also a new challenge. How can you possibly find the courage to talk to your professor about your period?

Warnings: Modern AU, smut (18+), slow burn romance, dom/sub dynamics, dom!roger and sub!reader, professor x student sex, dialogue heavy, conversations about and mentions of menstrual cycles/periods, discussions of impact play including: spanking, kicking, slapping, punching, floggers, paddles, crops, whips, and canes

Words: 10,391

A/N: Better late than never, right? Big apologies for taking so long to get this one up! Once again I've had to split a single topic into multiple chapters lmao. This one is mostly the theory part of the lesson and a bit of an info dump, but the next part will focus more on the actual smut.

Taglist: @labessieisallama @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr @drowseoftaylor @hannafuckingsucks @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @queenmylovely @ilovequeenmorethanyou @johndeaconshands @borhapbois @stardust-galaxies @cherries-n-rocknroll @rogersslave @scorpiogemini 

@80s-roger @libsterslobsters @okilover02 @cjand10 @dealorgirl32 @youngpastafanmug @onceuponadetectivedemigod​

You knew it was something you’d have to deal with eventually, that having your period would affect your lessons with Roger. But still you felt reluctant to broach the topic with him. It wasn’t something you generally discussed with people, especially not your professor (even if you were regularly sleeping with him). And you could already hear the lecture he’d give you about why you shouldn’t be embarrassed to tell your sexual partner about your cycle, and about how he’d taught reproduction enough to not be phased by it. The problem was you weren’t really sure how you felt about having sex during it and you knew even less about whether Roger would want to. You were definitely going to have to talk to him about it, no matter how much you didn’t want to. So, wondering when the best time to bring it up would be, you checked the curriculum he’d written for you. Impact play. That was the topic for the week. Roger might consider you clueless about kink (as you’d learnt during the previous week’s munch), but you at least knew enough to know that impact play meant spanking. For a moment you were distracted from your worries about the conversation you were going to have, rather excited by what you’d just read. Spanking was one of those things you’d been expecting to try. When you thought about BDSM, spanking was the second thing to come to mind after bondage. It was one of those things Dylan had hinted at being into. A couple of times during sex he’d given your arse a slap and, though you’d never really asked for it you also hadn’t told him to stop. He never hit too hard and it added a bit of excitement so there was no harm in it. And you suspected he might be interested in pushing it further if you ever suggested as much. So, to know that Roger was going to run you through the basics of it and show you how it felt, you couldn’t help but be a bit excited. And maybe you’d be able to keep things over the clothes to start and you wouldn’t have to tell Roger about your period after all. The good thing with having an implant was that it reduced the duration of your period. It would have been nice if it stopped it entirely but at least it shortened it and made it a little lighter. So maybe you could organise a second session later in the week for the more hands on part of the lesson, and not have to explain at all. You left your apartment feeling happier and excited to see Roger that night. But you didn’t have to wait so long to see him.  

You’d barely taken two steps inside when a familiar voice called out Ms Y/L/N and you found Roger walking towards you, his hand raised in a lazy wave.  “Hi Professor,” you smiled, surprised but happy to see him, “I’m just on my way to class, what’s up?”  “Oh, in that case,” he glanced over to a group of students ambling past you, “do you have time for a meeting before you leave this afternoon?”  Your heart rate sped up at the serious way he looked at you over his glasses, “Umm sure.”  “Good. I’ll see you this afternoon then. Don’t forget.”  You nodded but a new worry had taken over your mind. There was only one reason he could want to talk to you. Your degree. If it was anything to do with his tutoring sessions then he would have just said it when you got to his place that evening. No, it must be to do with your class work. Maybe something had been wrong with your last exam? Possibilities were turning over in your mind as you resumed your path to your first class, each worse than the other. Maybe you’d misunderstood a question and gotten it completely wrong. Maybe he’d had to fail you. Maybe your overall grade had dropped. Maybe he was going to call the whole tutoring thing off because you’d gotten too distracted and done so badly on your recent assessment. You spent the entire day trying not to get too worked up about it, trying to tell yourself that if your work had slipped even a little he would have called to talk about it earlier, that if it really was as bad as failing his subject you’d have discussed it long before now. By the time your last class of the day ended you were somewhere between terrified about what Roger was going to say and relieved that you were about to find out.  

Your hand was shaking as you knocked on Roger’s office door and pushed it open at his word.   “AH, Ms Y/L/N, shut the door please and take a seat.” he said, shifting a stack of papers to the side of his desk. It was only once you were sitting that he seemed to look at you properly, “Are you alright? You look a bit pale.”  “Professor I’m so sorry, I swear if something was wrong with my last exam then it wasn’t because of our lessons and I promise I’m not letting them distract me at all. I put so much time and effort into studying and if-”  “Woah, woah, hang on. No one said anything was wrong.”  Your breath caught in your throat and it seemed to take you twice as long as it normally would for you to understand what he’d said, “There’s not? Then....why am I here?”  “It’s about tonight’s tutoring session.”  “Oh?”  “I wondered if you’d be okay making a small change to the plan.”  “S-so nothing's wrong with my work?”  Roger shook his head, “Your work is impeccable Ms Y/L/N. Sorry, I didn’t realise you’d assume the worst. I had no intention of worrying you like that. I was intending to mention it this morning but you seemed to be in a bit of a rush and I didn’t want anyone to overhear so...” he gestured vaguely towards you with his hands.   You let out a relieved chuckle, feeling a weight lift from your shoulders, “What was the change you wanted to make?”  “Do you know what we’ll be focusing on this week?”  “Impact play, Professor.”  “Very good. And do you know what that entails?”  “It’s like spanking isn’t it?”  “Spanking is definitely part of it, yes.”  “Cool. But you’re not wanting to switch topic are you? Only I’ve been kind of looking forward to this one since it’s like proper BDSM stuff....or like, not that other things aren’t I just mean that spanking is part of what I initially imagined, y’know?”  Roger held up his hand to quiet you, “I understand what you mean Ms Y/L/N. And it’s not that I want to change the topic, I just wanted to change where the lesson would take place.”  “Okay...” you were a little surprised by that. Where else could he have in mind when your lessons were supposed to be secret.  “I thought we might have the first lesson here.”  “Here?!”  “Keep your voice down, Ms Y/L/N. Not here exactly, not this office. In the first-year bio room actually.”  “Why? Isn’t that kind of risky? What if someone saw?”  Roger shrugged one shoulder, “It might be, but I think what I intend to show you could be covered as a biological experiment. Let me explain,” he said upon seeing your confused face, “So, as you no doubt remember, first years do a lot of dissection of various animals, working their way up to human.”  You nodded, remembering hours spent bent over various carcases and cadavers.  “Well, I thought it might be beneficial to show you some of the impact play tools we can use, demonstrating how they work and what effects they can have, but I don’t want to demonstrate them on you straight away. Luckily, it just so happens that one of the animals my first years are studying right now is pigs, so I thought we might use a pig carcass instead. Pig and human flesh are quite similar so you should get a decent sense of how being spanked with various tools will look and the impact they would have on your skin. We can compare being spanked by hand to flogging to a crop and so on. All without experiencing any pain at all. Of course, it is a dead pig so it won’t be exactly the same and you probably won’t see the same levels of bruising you would on a living human being, but it’s a good starting point. Plus this way you could try wielding the tools too, so you can get a sense for how they feel to use them and how much force is required to make them work.”  You were taken aback by the explanation and had to stop your jaw from falling open as you listened. But Roger waited patiently for you to think it over and you quickly concluded it was a good plan. You could easily write it off as related to your dissertation if anyone saw and asked what was going on. It wasn’t at all related but Roger was about the only person who knew what topic you were researching so no one else would pick up the lie.   “Okay then, let’s have the lesson here.”  “Excellent. You really don’t mind hanging back?”  “Not at all.”  “Good. I think we should possibly wait until a little later before we start, just to let the place clear out a bit. Perhaps we could get some dinner and eat it in here before we head down to the room. You can tell me how you’re getting on with your dissertation.”  “Okay, I like that idea.”  “Shall I duck out and get us some food then? What would you like?” 

After what could only be described as a minor argument about the merits of Mexican food, you and Roger eventually settled on a nearby Greek place. He tapped the order into Uber Eats and then went to wait for the delivery out on the street so the driver wouldn’t have to find their way through the numerous carparks and laneways on campus. You ducked out to your own car to drop off your bag full of books, though you kept your laptop to make notes on. It would also make your story seem more legitimate if anyone did stumble onto the lesson and ask what was going on. The thought of the lesson made you smile. Partly because you were keen to learn about the topic but also partly because you knew there was no way sex would be part of it. Roger would definitely draw the line at fucking his student in his classroom where anyone could catch you. And if you were going to be spanking a dead pig then you wouldn’t be asked to remove clothes or anything like that. So you wouldn’t have to discuss your menstrual cycle with Roger at all. You’d just say you were busy until later in the week when your period stopped and organise the follow-up lesson then and Roger wouldn’t be any the wiser. It was perfect. That, in addition to knowing nothing was wrong with your actual schoolwork, put you in a very good mood and you could have whistled with joy as you made your way back to Roger’s office.  

By the time you’d finished eating, the sky outside the window had changed from a mix of warm pinks and yellows as the sun set and was gradually darkening the longer you watched. It was only when Roger glanced at his watch and saw that it was a quarter to seven that he decided the building would be empty enough for your lesson to start. He grabbed his own laptop as you grabbed yours and then led you along the corridor and down a set of stairs, taking you towards the back of the building where the hands-on biology lessons were held.   Roger made sure the door was shut and locked before dumping his belongings onto a desk. “Can you give me a hand?” he asked, before moving to the door to a walk-in freezer at the back of the room.  Together you hoisted a large pig carcass onto a cart and wheeled it out into the main room.   Roger then ducked back into the freezer returning, after a little rummaging, with what looked to be a child’s toy crate. It was made of yellow plastic and seemed light enough that Roger had no trouble hoisting it onto one of the desks, but it was not full of children’s toys. You couldn’t see everything immediately but poking out of the top was a long black handle with a leather flap hanging off the end.   “Is that what we’ll be using then?” You were eyeing the box warily.  “Yup,” Roger began pulling the items from the box one by one, laying them out on the desk, “I brought the box in earlier and hid it down here so no one would stumble onto it. I didn’t want any awkward questions. Or to have any of them stolen since they’re mine,” he added with a chuckle.  You looked over the collection with interest, some of the objects familiar to you and some only vaguely recognisable, “Is that a hair brush?”  “It is,” Roger winked playfully, “Kink can be very D.I.Y and the back of a hairbrush makes for a good makeshift paddle. The front of the hairbrush can be fun too actually. Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself. I’m going to go through everything individually, explain what they are and what sort of effect they have and I’ll demonstrate them on our piggy participant. There’s also a few things I don’t have which we can run through at the end, sound good?”  “Sounds great.” You sank into one of the nearby seats, pulling your laptop towards you, ready to take notes.   “Right well. Impact play is a BDSM practice where one partner strikes another for sexual gratification. As you rightly said earlier this includes spanking but there's a little more to it than just that. You can slap your partner, punch them, kick them, whip them or flog them. There’re numerous ways to play with impact and as with all BDSM it’s important to negotiate what you want before you start. Being struck can leave marks of course. Brusies, welts, scratches, right through to cuts that draw blood. For some people, the marking aspect is an important part of their enjoyment, and they might go so far as to intentionally make the marks more apparent. But whether or not you want visible marks might be influenced by your job or the season or your social life or any number of other things. Personally, the marks are secondary to why I enjoy the forms of impact play I partake in. But my feelings aside, the nature of our lessons and the secrecy required, means I won’t intentionally be marking you anywhere that isn’t easy to cover up. If you even want to try it out. You might see everything today and decide it’s not for you and that would be okay.”  “I don’t think there’s much danger of that Roger. Dylan’s spanked me a little before and I’m interested enough to try more.”  “In that case then, you should know that physical pain is part of impact play no matter what aspect you try. And it can bring up more mental pain too, depending on the individual. Which is why I want to start with testing some implements on this pig. We can go through a few things and you’ll get a sense of them and then we can talk about what you might actually want to try or if any of it seems wrong for you. I’m also going to be much more diligent with your safe word in these lessons than any before. So what is your safe word?”  “Pizazz, Roger,”  “Good. Remember you can use it whenever you need to, even today. If things get too much for you I want to know.”  “I know. I promise I’ll use it.” You were struck by how serious Roger’s tone was but understood it, after the conversation you’d had during your previous lesson. And, for the first time, you wondered if this would be a topic Roger would find hard to teach.  “Thank you. I’ll check in with you every so often, especially when we move onto the practical lesson and you’re experiencing it firsthand. So, if I ask you what your safe word is, I need you to respond as loudly and as quickly as you can. It’s a way for me to gauge how well you’re coping and to make sure you’re still capable of using it.”  “That makes sense.”  Having assured himself of your understanding, Roger took a deep breath and smiled again, “Well, I have a range of different implements you can use here today but we’ll start with the most basic,” he held his two hands in front of him, palms towards you, fingers wiggling, “Hands.”  You smiled at his showmanship but your gaze lingered on the offered view. His hands had always seemed quite lovely, even when he was just teaching you biology. The way they moved so delicately as he demonstrated necessary scientific processes for the class, or rapidly twirled pens around his fingers to impress new students. Of course, you’d felt them too since you’re first private lesson, the way he caressed you and held you. His fist tightening in your hair and his fingers plunging into you and making you moan and the way he’d gently stroke your skin as you were both regaining your breath. You were excited to feel the power in them as he spanked you.   “Spanking is entry level impact play. Everyone and their mother has heard of it. It’s a common thing to see in pornography and even in Hollywood movies when they want to show sex as kinky. And because you don’t need more than your hands it’s easy to experiment with. Do you want to see what it looks like?”  You nodded and Roger stepped closer to the pig, angling himself so you could see.   Suddenly there was the sound of a clap as Roger’s palm hit the pig’s flesh.   “See how my hand was open and my palm was flat?” Roger demonstrated again but slower so the hit barely made a sound, “But what if I do this?” He hit the pig again but changed the position of his hand. The sound of his hand colliding with the pig was deeper the second time around, “If you cup your hand, curve it slightly, you can change the way the spank feels and sounds. Just like clapping.”  You experimentally clapped your hands together, first with open palms and then with each hand cupped so that the fingers wrapped around the back of the other.  “Now you give the pig a try.”  Feeling a surge of nervously excited butterflies, you got out of your seat and took your place at the pig. With a breath and a swallow you quickly brought your hand down. The slapping sound seemed to echo in the quiet room but it wasn’t as crisp as the noise Roger’s hits had made. With a look to Roger for permission, you tried it again, creating a slightly more impressive sound.  “Good, now cupped?”  You did it again, curving your fingers in a bit and bringing it down again. It felt more awkward than the open palm hit had so you repositioned yourself to hit the pig from a slightly different angle and tried once more.  “Don’t be afraid to pull your arm back further. The more your rear back, the more force will be in the spank. Like this,” he pulled his hand back past his ear and swung down hard, the spank echoing around you. “Of course, you can also spank from a nearer point too. Spanking, and a lot of impact play, is best if you mix it up a bit, don’t stay in one rhythm too long, do some spanks with your fingers spread, or change how hard or fast they are. I might give a sub two or three hard hits each with a pause between but then I’ll switch to a more rapid series of spanks that don’t have as much force behind them but come faster.”  You nodded and experimented with taking your arm back further, testing out ways to change the strength of each spank, until Roger finally called you to stop.  “How did that feel?” he asked as you took your seat again.  “My hand tingles.”  “That’s normal,” Roger laughed, “in fact it’s one thing I really enjoy about spanking by hand. The sub isn’t the only one who feels the spanks, the dom gets some of the pain in his hand too, especially if the intensity ramps up or there's a section of quick-fire spanks. And that can a) help the dom understand what the sub is feeling and work out how long the scene should go and b) brings a sort of intimacy to the scene that is harder to achieve with a tool.”  You hummed as you noted down what he’d said, “Have you ever spanked someone so much you injured your wrist or anything?”  “No.” Roger shook his head, amused by the question, “My wrists are pretty sturdy. But a few times I’ve been left with a stingy, tingly hand for an hour or two. Which brings me to an important note about pain. There are two main types of pain you can experience in impact play. We refer to them as thuddy and stingy.”  “Thuddy and stingy? What is this, an afternoon kids show?”  Roger rolled his eyes, “The names are simple but they explain exactly what they mean. Some types of impact will have a stingy sensation which is usually superficial. It won’t go deeper than the first few layers of skin and probably leaves the skin feeling warm and a little tingly or like sunburn, y’know? It’s typical of spanks and slaps. Thuddy pain is deeper, it gets into the fat and muscles and tissue and aches more. And I’ll go through which tools cause which sort of pain as I get to them. Generally though, people who enjoy impact play have a preference for one or the other.”  “And your preference is what?”  “Thuddy. Definitely. Although I prefer inflicting stingy.”  You hummed thoughtfully.  “Now, I’ll go into details about ways to actually incorporate spanking into a scene later. We can talk about it while we’re negotiating our scene. Today is just about the practicalities and sensations involved in the different types of impact play. So are you okay to move on?”  “Yup, definitely.” And then, sensing Roger might ask, you added, “Pizazz.” feeling pleased when you saw him smile. 

“I don’t expect us to delve too deep into them but I think I should touch on kicking, punching and slapping. Kicking and punching are things I’ve not done. They can, obviously, be quite painful. But they’re pretty self-explanatory. From what I understand about it, and what I’ve heard others who enjoy that kind of thing say, kicking and punching can both be very intimate, similar to the way spanking by hand is, but in a more primal or animalistic way. Punching is, of course, done without any accessories but kicking often includes footwear of some kind. A lot of time it’s something like a steel-toed boot or something with a bit of weight to it.”  “That isn't something I want to try.” You’d learnt a lot about how far kink went so weren’t completely shocked that some people would enjoy something as forceful as kicking, but it did take you by surprise to hear Roger talking about it.  “What about slapping?”  “How is that different to spanking?”  “Well, you’re right, they are similar. But slapping generally refers to slapping on the face whereas spanking is usually on the, uh, derriere. Of course you can slap or spank other parts too. For clarity’s sake, if I say slapping assume I mean on the face whereas spanking is anywhere else on the body.”  You thought about it for a second, “I’m not sure if I’d be game to try it but I do want to know more.”  “Slapping can be fun. Again, it’s not one I do a lot but I have played with it in the past. It comes in handy for particular scenes and there’s a fairly bratty sub I’ve worked with who responds really well to it. The most important thing to know is that if you are slapping someone’s face only ever aim for the cheeks. There’s a lot of fragile places around the face and it’s close to the brain so you need to be careful not to do any lasting damage. Never hit the temples because you hit them with enough force and it can kill a person. Nose and ears are off limits too, anything that is important.  You knew enough about biology to know Roger wasn’t making those rules up for fun. Noses were easy to break and hitting an ear too hard could damage someone’s hearing. But face slapping did still intrigue you. 

“Well, I’d say the next – let's call it the next level – of impact play is paddling.” He picked up what looked to be a wooden plank with a handle. It was an inch or two longer and wider than his hand with small holes cut out in a repeating pattern over the flat side so you could look right through it. “They don’t always look like this. Paddles come in lots of different shapes and sizes. This is a wooden one but they’re also frequently made of leather and sometimes the leather ones will have one side that’s a little more padded than the other. That gives you a bit of versatility with the pain. You can start off lightly with the padded side to get you in the zone and then during the scene switch it to the firmer side that hurts more. Or, if you don’t have access to a paddle at all, you can substitute a hairbrush.” He picked the hairbrush up and waved it back and forth.  “And that-” you pointed at the hair brush, “will feel the same as that?” you pointed at the wooden paddle, not quite able to reconcile the two in your mind.   “Not exactly the same but close. Honestly you can get really creative with impact play and not spend any money to get nearly the same results. I mean a plastic hairbrush might take a few extra hits or a little more force to really bruise someone but they’ll still end up sore from it. Or, if the hairbrush doesn’t do it for you, dig through your draws and see what else you can find. Wooden spoons, cutting boards, rulers, leather belts, spatulas, rolling pins, ping pong paddles, anything you can get your hands on. Just be mindful of how easily they’d break or them causing more pain than you expect.”  Again, you weren’t necessarily surprised by the lengths people would go to for sexual gratification, as Roger had put it, but it was a bit astounding. Still, you noted it all down just in case.   “Now a paddle generally falls under the stingy category but you do tend to get a deeper bruise than with your hand. Different factors could alter the way it feels too. If you put less force into it the pain will fall more on the thuddy side, same goes for if your hits are slower. But the pain call also be influenced by the size of the paddle, the material it’s made out of, the texture of it.”  “Texture?”  “Sometimes paddles have added texture, so they aren’t just a smooth, flat board. They might have metal studs that are more raised than the surface of the blade – the part you hit with – or ridging that will imprint the skin. This one has holes in it which definitely changes the feeling, makes it more intense. As you strike and the blade hits, the holes do two things. They stop any air cushions forming that would lessen the impact and they sort of push the skin into the holes which means the pain isn't completely even along where was hit. Plus it also leaves these cool circle marks behind which is fun.”  You realised you’d held your breath through the explanation, eyes following the paddle as Roger waved it through the air and ran his hands over it unconsciously. You hoped he had something more beginner friendly at home, though you couldn’t pretend you weren’t turned on by the way he wielded his weapon.  “Using it is quite similar to spanking but your hand isn’t hitting, it’s holding onto the paddle handle. So you just pull back,” Roger’s arm went back and the paddle swung backwards,” and then hit,” he swung his arm forward, the paddle cutting through the air and landing directly against the soft flesh of the pig. It made a satisfying thwack sound on impact and when Roger’ brought it back again you could see the circular patterns he’d talked about.   He demonstrated a few more times before he handed the plank to you.   It was heavier than you’d been expecting, solid wood, but the handle fit into your palm comfortably. You ran your hands over the flat part, what Roger had called the blade, and felt the holes with your fingers. The weight made it a little hard to swing but not impossible. You managed to mark the pig as well, stroking the circular imprints with your fingers.  “Try the hairbrush,” Roger said, swapping it for the paddle.  Its handle wasn’t quiet as long, but it was lighter and you found your hits were harder with it, without you even trying.   “Something to be aware of if you use an ordinary household item, or even just a different sort of impact toy. Because it’s lighter you can pull it back further and swing harder. A dom has to be aware of how much is going into each hit and how much their sub can handle.” 

“So what’s after paddles?”  “Floggers.” Roger picked his up off the table, “This is a fairly typical flogger. As you can see it’s made of black leather. It has the handle which is the thickest part and then a number of smaller tails. The tails is where you get the most variation which can be a stylistic choice or just a side effect of its price and overall quality. There’s a trick for knowing if a flogger is good quality or not. It should be pretty evenly balanced between the handle and the tails, so you should be able to do this,” he held out a finger and balanced the flogger on it carefully, the handle pointing out one way and the tails dangling over the other.   You thought for sure it would tip forward onto the tails and tumble to the ground but it hung there perfectly.  “Sometimes there will be more tails or they'll look different but no matter what, it should be balanced.” Roger gave a practiced flick of his hand so the flogger leapt into the air and he was able to catch the handle before it fell. “From a more stylistic point of view, you could get a flogger with less tails but they’ll be made of braids of leather which makes them heavier and thicker. Braided tails are also likely to have knots in the ends which can be a bit scratchy and even draw blood. They don’t have to be made of leather either. Rubber floggers are also popular. The tails on them tend to be more rectangular in shape, still flat but they have more edges and it actually feels like you’re being hit with more tails then there really are. And if you’re looking to really fuck someone up you can get hemp floggers. Sometimes they’ll look similar to this leather one but hemp is fairly stiff material and sometimes the tails will be shaped so that they’re sort of squiggly rather than flat lines. The squiggles hurt like a bitch, especially if they have knots at the end. Definitely start off with simple leather and work up once you’re more experienced.” Roger dragged the ends of the tails over his hand as he spoke, “I’d say this falls into the more thuddy type of pain. It can cover a large area of your body since the tails spread out and each of them creates an individual pain point. And because you’re being hit six or seven or nine or however many times at once, you can build up quite a rapid movement over a short period of time.”  You eyed the dancing tails as Roger moved his hand through them, “How long are the tails? Isn’t it a bit dangerous to have so many bits flying in all directions?”  Roger laughed, “Well yeah, kinda. I mean, that’s BDSM for you though, it gets dangerous which is why we’re all obsessed with safety. It’s a good thing to have noticed though, well done. The tails on this one are on the shorter side but some floggers will have much longer ones which means the dom can stand further back and still inflict a lot of pain. But you’re right, you do have to be mindful of the length and where they’re flying because a longer tail can potentially wrap around to somewhere you aren’t intending to hit. For instance, if you’re standing behind a person and flogging the back of their shoulder, you don’t want one of the tails to fly past their shoulder and around their neck. That would be incredibly painful and probably not what they expected or wanted from the scene.”  “So you have to take into account the length of the tails when you’re negotiating the scene then? And know where on the body to focus the hits so you don’t risk causing the wrong sort of pain and ending it early.”  “Exactly. That’s why negotiating the scene is important. Then both the dom and the sub will know what they want to achieve, what they want to get out of the experience, and they can tailor things to fit better. A lot of doms who are into impact play are likely to have multiple versions of their favourite toys – I myself have a few different paddles at home, I just didn’t bring them all in with me today – so by talking through what you want they’ll be able to choose the style of toy that will best fit the scene.”  “So how do you use a flogger then? Is it the same as spanking and paddling where you just swing your arm forward?”  “Sort of. Floggers have a few different ways to use them. There is of course the single strike option where, yeah, you do just hit them like you would with a paddle. I find that you don’t need to bring your arm back so far though, the movement comes from your elbow more than your shoulder.” Roger bent his arm so his hand and the flogger were roughly head height and then brought it down on the pig, “And you can change the angle of your single strike so that you hit them overhand or underhand or from one of the sides.” He demonstrated each direction as he said them, first bringing the flogger down from above, then swinging it up from below, then from the right side and finally a backhanded hit from the left. “But you don’t have to just pick a side to hit from. Paddles and hands are limited in how you can swing them but floggers have more movement. One way to use them is to swing them in a circle.” He moved back towards the pig to demonstrate, standing side on so that the tails whipped around and struck the pig, “I like starting off with circles because you can keep the pressure quite light. The tails sort of brush over the sub as they pass and it can be a good way to slowly build up. And then you can move into a figure eight as you get a bit harder.” Roger shifted his circles so they made a sideways eight in the air, subtly adjusting his stance so that the tail swished over the pig’s skin on both the forward and back motion.   You watched, awe-struck by how easily Roger swung the flogger, falling into a rhythm quickly. It wasn’t hard to imagine how he’d suddenly change the speed or the force of the swing when you were least expecting it.  

You were brought back to the present by Roger clearing his throat as he stilled the flogger, “The figure eight is why you should practice your backhand swing as much as any other. Because the tails will hit the sub on both the forward and back swings and you want them to be as even as possible.” He flipped the flogger in his hands, holding the handle out to you.   It felt smooth and cool in your hand, lighter than the paddle had been. You swished it experimentally, trying to get a sense of how it felt in motion.”  “Show me your overhand hit.” Roger said, leaning back against the nearest desk to watch.   You tried to imitate how he’d swung it, elbow bent, flogger raised.   It must have been good enough because Roger nodded and said, “how about underhand?”  He kept calling out different directions for a while, testing your reactions but you felt it helped you get a better grip on the toy and you found yourself adjusting how you held it so your movements became more fluid.   Roger watched you as you tried to keep up, his eyes locked onto your hands. Had you been looking, you might have caught sight of him subtly adjusting himself in his pants.   Finally, he seemed satisfied that you could successfully single strike from any direction and asked you to try the circle and figure eight motions.  They were harder to start, more awkward as you tried to work out the best way to move the flogger, and you caught Roger chuckling.”  “Oi, stop laughing,”  “Do you want some help?” he was still smiling but his request was genuine and when you nodded he stepped towards you. One of his hands moved to your waist as the other lay over yours on the handle of the flogger.  You tried not to grin too much as he did exactly why you’d hoped, and you felt him so close behind you.  “Like this,” His arm gently directed yours, the flogger beginning to move in a smooth circle.   “Oh, not so hard then,” you laughed, half turning to face him, “Y’know if someone walked in now this would be pretty hard to explain.”  His eyes darted to your lips, “Good thing we locked the door then.”  You hummed, waiting to see if Roger would close the gap.  He did a few seconds later, leaning in to kiss you softly. But the movement caused you both to forget about the flogger, your hands falling out of rhythm, and the tails whacking against your outstretched arms as they fell.   “Ow,” you both groaned, Roger stepping away from you.  It was disappointing but the disappointment was a little confusing. Surely you weren’t hoping for your professor to kiss you when you had no intention of sleeping with him that night.   Roger laughed, “Maybe that’s enough of the flogger today.”  “Might be for the best. Good thing I was so bad at it, otherwise we might have been really hurt.”  “You weren’t that bad. You actually looked good with it before I brought in the circles. Quite sexy really.”  “Thanks,” you said softly, trying to hide how pleased you were at that praise, “What else is there then?” 

“There's only one more that I can demonstrate but then there’s a few others I’ll touch on quickly too. So the last one I own is a crop.” He picked it up off the table, his fingers sliding along the length of it’s handle as he spoke, “This one I would put in the stingy category. It’s fast and sharp. Again, you can get crops in a few different styles. They will all have a handle like this, long and thin and probably with a slightly thicker point towards the end that’s easy to hold onto. The difference will be in the bit you hit with. This one is based on the sort of riding crop that's used on horses, so it’s quite plain. There’s just this loop of leather which hangs off the end. But others can be more decorative. I’ve seen crops which had ends shaped like hearts or that had studs pushed into them. Some of them are padded and some have a more rounded shape. We like our variety.”  “It looks scarier than the others I think,”  “Yeah, they’re quite intimidating aren’t they. And if you do it right, it’ll make a noise through the air, which just adds to how intimidating it can be.”  “Can you show me how to swing it now?”  “Absolutely. Now, you want to stand a bit further back with a crop because there is such a long handle. And the magic is in the wrist with these. You just flick the wrist and...”  You could hear the whooshing sound of it flying through the air before it cracked against the pig.  “Now some crops are more bendy and some are more stiff so, if you get one, you’ll want to practice swinging it a bit before you use it on a person, to get a feel for it. The flexibility of it might dictate how you stand or how strong the swing has to be. Give this one a go though.”  You felt oddly powerful as you took the crop and tightened your fist around the end. For a moment a vision of you decked out in leather dominatrix gear popped into your head and you nearly laughed. Unfortunately, the intimidating whooshing noise Roger had achieved was not as easy for you to make as you’d hoped, and the imagined power soon dissipated as you struggled to make the weapon sing.   Roger however was not disappointed. “It takes practice,” was what he said when you lamented your inability to create the sound, “And you don’t have to have the sound to make a good hit. It’s just kind of cool.”  When you still seemed disappointed he sighed.  “If it’s any help, I can’t always make the sound either. And besides, I wasn’t intending to use that one on you, unless you really, really want to. I mostly brought it to show you as an interesting part of your theory lessons. And so you’d have a sense of what a cane is like, even though I don’t have any of them to demonstrate.”  “A cane? Like....caning? Like what Victorian kids used to have done if they misbehaved or whatever?”  Roger laughed, “Kind of, yeah. It does have a history in corporal punishment. Which, might I add, wasn’t just for Victorian kids. It was still a thing when I was a kid. We didn’t get caned, more likely to be whacked over the knuckles with a ruler, but still. I don’t think it really left schools until the 80s.”  “Jesus,”  “Yeah. Occasionally I do wish I could bring out a ruler to shut a kid up,” he winked in jest, “Anyway, caning for BDSM is similar and uses the same sort of tool. A cane, funnily enough. Canes are long and thin like a crop but without the leather flap at the end or the more padded handle area. Traditionally they’re made from rattan which is a type of plant, but you can also get synthetic canes which are covered in leather. In my experience synthetic canes are actually harder. Not to use, I mean in the way they feel when you’re hit with them. The traditional rattan ones require a lot of maintenance though. You have to water them between uses, literally soaking them in a bath of water so they don’t dry out and break. But the benefit with a rattan cane is that if you get it home and realise you’d like something a bit shorter, you can cut it off yourself and just sandpaper down the rough edge and it’s good as new.”  “So are there any different version aside from synthetic? All the other toys had lots of variety.”  “Hmmm, not really. Most of the difference will be in how thick the cane is, which can effect the feel of it a lot. A thinner cane will sting when it hits and the force will make the skin hug the cane so it leaves these long marks behind. A thicker cane though might sting less but it’ll still hurt a lot, just more thuddy. And you tend to get more bruising from the thicker ones.”  “And do you use it the same as a crop?”  “Mostly, yes. The biggest difference is that you can use a larger section of a cane. The crop has the specific bit at the end to hit with whereas a cane doesn’t have that limit. The most important thing to remember is to try and aim a little short of where you want to hit because if you hit with a part of the cane six inches down, those top six inches are going to hit as well, and with force behind them they will wrap around the person’s side or arse or whatever until they make contact. But other than that, it’s a similar motion from the wrist and uses a similar amount of energy. And canes can make the cool whippy noise too.” 

“Is that everything then?”  “One last one, really quick. Whips.”  “Oh yeah, I’ve heard of whipping in kink.”  “Yeah, it’s one of those things that gets mentioned a lot even if comparatively fewer people are actually into it. But everyone’s heard the phrase chains and whips in relation to BDSM. There's a few different varieties of whips but I don’t really know enough about them to know the difference. They all look like whips to me. Very cowboy. But they’re one of the more intense versions of impact play. The pain they cause is quite sharp and stingy and will be very localised to a specific point because they have the one tail, as opposed to floggers which have multiple tails. Whips are very capable of breaking the skin though and feel very intensely painful. I do not recommend them unless you discover you’re a masochist and you’ve tried everything else impact play has to offer.”  “No need to tell me twice, Professor. Definitely do not want to try whips any time soon.”  “That’s very reasonable. And that is all of the impact play options I wanted to go through. There’s a little more to cover regarding safety before I let you go for the night, but how about we put the pig away and hope no one notices it’s been marked by crops and floggers.”  You chuckled and quickly moved to help Roger push the trolley back towards the freezer, locking the dead pig away securely, and to help pack up his toys.  When everything was tidy again you re-took your seat, Roger taking the one beside you. It made the end of the lesson feel less like a lesson and more of just a casual chat, the topic of which happened to be BDSM.   “The most important thing to remember when trying impact play is which parts of the body are safest to hit.” He paused for a moment, considering you, “But you’ve been studying biology for a while now, Ms Y/L/N. Care to guess which parts are safe and which parts you should avoid?”  You hadn’t expected to be asked so took a moment to consider your answer, “Well, the arse obviously. Ummm.... I guess I’d assume the best places to hit are the bits with more meat on them.”  “Very good. Entirely correct. There’s a reason most people think about spanking on the arse and that’s because it’s one of the best places to spank. Well, that and the fact that spanking is used so frequently in punishment scenes where you bend the naughty girl over your knee. But, yes, hitting the arse is good. Hitting the thighs can also be good, though the bit just under the arse cheek where it connects to the thighs hurts a lot. Which isn’t to say don’t ever spank there, just be mindful that it’s going to hurt more than directly on the arse cheeks. The pecks or breasts can be good places to hit, even the upper back where the shoulder blade is can be good. What about places to avoid hitting? Any ideas what those might be?”  You hummed in thought, “I’d imagine you wouldn’t want to hit the spine since it’s so important.”  “Right again Ms Y/L/N. The spine is definitely something to avoid. I don’t like hitting on the back much at all because there's too much important stuff there but I do know some others who don’t mind using a flogger there, especially while warming up before things get too intense. There are also the kidneys to watch out for,” he moved his hand to press against the spot on his own back, “because, as you no doubt know, part of the kidneys stick out under the ribcage so aren’t fully protected. Then a little lower down, just above the arse, is the tailbone which should also be avoided.   “What about the neck? That would be bad to hit too, right?”  “Yup. And that’s something to watch for if you’re doing anything on the shoulder blades. The spine of course runs all the way up the back of the neck and hitting there can do some very serious and lasting damage if you’re not careful. I know some people who will only flog the shoulder blades if the sub is wearing a collar because that adds a bit of protection around the C5 and C6 vertebrae but even so, better safe than sorry in my opinion. The front of the neck is also not good to hit since that’s where the vocal cords and all that is.”  “Which is why you have to be careful with a flogger’s tails, right?”  “Right. But what about on the front? Is there anywhere else you’d avoid?”  “Pussy,” you said with a laugh.  Roger laughed too, “Actually, depending on how it’s done, spanking a pussy can be quite enjoyable.”  “Wait really?”  “Yeah. I prefer doing it with my hand since you can feel when it makes the sub wet but it’s not totally unusual to use paddles or crops or even floggers down there too. I’m sure some people whip as well.”  You gulped at the thought.  “The biggest area to avoid on a person’s front side is the diaphragm and middle of the chest. There’s a lot of important stuff in there and a lot less tissue than elsewhere.”  “Do people get badly hurt doing impact play?” you glanced over the list of places Roger said to avoid. It made it seem like almost any spanking was running the risk of more than just some bad bruising.   “Sometimes.” Roger said seriously. He paused for a moment, thinking, and then continued, “Things can go wrong. And when you’re playing with intentionally hurting someone, things going wrong can be very serious. I won’t pretend there aren’t stories of people trying impact play and ending up paralysed or worse. But if you’re careful, if you pay attention and only hit certain areas and are mindful of how hard you’re hitting, then you’re going to be fine. And that’s why we come up with safe words and talk through scenes before we do them. So that you can minimize those risks and have a chance to communicate any worries or concerns.”  “But how can safe words help if you say them after you’ve already been hurt too much?”  “Well, for one, even if you’ve been hurt badly, using your safe word can stop things from being made worse. But you don’t have to wait until you’re hurt to use the safe word. Yes, if I spank you four times in a row and the fourth one feels so bad you can’t go on, then you should use your safe word before I give you a fifth. But you could also use it after the third hit when you aren’t sure if you want the fourth. And safe words aren’t just about physical pain. If you start off excited but then feel anxious after two hits you are well within your rights to safe word. You don’t have to wait until the damage is done. And, obviously, it’s not always easy to tell if that one hit more is going to be enough to make you want to stop. You can’t always know if the next hit is going to catch your neck wrong and do serious damage. But if you feel at all worried that it might, speak up. Not just worried either. If you feel distracted or you think I’m not paying enough attention to how I’m spanking you, or if I move to spank and area you don’t want me to touch, tell me. There is no wrong reason to use a safe word, even if we’re only a few minutes into the scene. I’ve said before that I’d rather you tell me to stop than for us to go on and you not feel comfortable, and I mean it.”  “I know, I guess I just never really thought about it being for mental stuff as well as physical.”  “Mmm, I should have checked that.”  “Well, let’s face it, you probably tried and I just didn’t pay attention. But, y’know, you’re very good at reassuring me when I start to get nervous.”  “I hope that’s a good thing.”  “It definitely is. I think if I didn’t have the reassurance, I’d chicken out of some things.”  “As long as you’re aware of the difference between some healthy nerves and anxiety that could be a sign you should slow down. And that you keep telling me how you’re feeling.”  “Of course I will.”  “Good girl.” 

An understanding seemed to pass between you as you sat in near silence, eyes on the other. Until Roger drew in a long breath and stood up.  “Right well, I think that’s just about everything. Obviously we weren’t able to see the levels of bruising that different implements can cause but it’s kind of dependent on the individual anyway. Everything can influence the severity of bruises and other marks. Tell me what a bruise is.”  “It’s broken blood vessels under the skin which cause discolouration.”  “Bingo. Now, obviously being spanked with a hand will leave less obvious bruises than being hit with a crop will and usually a paddle will bruise less than....i don’t know, a leather belt. But there's lots of factors to consider. The sub’s age, diet, the colour of their skin, their hydration level, how much sun exposure they’ve had recently, stress levels, hormones. And the biggest of all is how much stimulus they receive on that part of the body. The more you hit a spot, the deeper it will bruise. So, don’t expect bruises and marks to appear exactly the same every time you make them. There are some ways to heighten or lessen marks left during BDSM, but I’ll go through those when you’re ready for our practical lessons. And we’ll also go through some ideas for popular scenes and positions before we settle on what our scene will look like.” Roger seemed to hesitate for a few seconds, “Of course, it’s not so late we have to stop. If you did want to start testing out some light impact play, or if you wanted to revisit a previous topic, you’re more than welcome to come back to mine.”  “No,” you said much too fast, the suggestion catching you completely off guard.  “Okay, no problem,” Roger said, his eyes downcast.  “I didn’t mean...just that tonight’s not great timing.” You’d really thought you’d got out of having to talk about it but you could see Roger was going to ask what you were talking about when on a regular tutoring night you’d likely still be in his bed. All the same you couldn’t quite make eye contact as you explained, “My period started last night, that’s all. Makes things a bit awkward.”  “Oh is that all?”  You shrugged, “Yeah.”  “Well there’s no need to feel awkward or embarrassed about that. And there’s no reason to hide it from me. Aside from the fact that I’ve been married and had kids, I’ve also been teaching biology for longer than I care to count, so I’m very familiar with the reproductive processes and the reality of the menstrual cycle.”  “I knew you were going to say something like that.”  “Because it’s true. And besides, periods are important to factor into our lessons because they can change how you’ll respond to various kinks. Fluctuating hormone levels can change how much you enjoy or desire sex, as well as the physical sensation of different forms of touch. A lot of women find breast stimulation uncomfortable in the lead up to their period because their breasts become tender at that stage of their cycle. It can also make vaginal sex undesirable, at least in the first couple of days if not longer, whether because of a physical discomfort or pain, or just because it makes sex messier and more annoying to clean up after. The hormonal shifts in a menstrual cycle can also effect libido too, either stopping you from feeling aroused or causing hyper arousal. And all of that is important to consider, especially when we get to other things like orgasm denial. So, don’t feel you have to hide your periods from me, okay? I want to know if something is going to effect how enjoyable these lessons are for you. And plus, I factored periods into the timeline, remember? If you want to postpone for a week we can.  His little speech did put you at ease a bit, the weight of admitting the truth no longer as heavy now that he knew, but it still wasn’t an especially comfortable conversation, “Well, I should be okay to go in a few days.”  “Would you be up for having sex on one of the last days of your period when your flow is a little lighter? Or would you rather wait until after it was finished?”  You tried not to cringe too much upon hearing Roger talk about your flow, “After I think. I don’t know. How do you feel about it?”  Roger shrugged, “If we were just having sex without the kinky stuff I’d be okay with period sex. It’s a little more effort since we’d need to put towels down and all that but I’m not completely opposed to it if we’re both in the mood. However, I think since we’re playing with BDSM it’s probably a good idea to wait.”  You nodded, glad the topic was almost settled, “Yeah, that makes sense. I think I’d feel too self-conscious to enjoy any period sex but you’re definitely right about the BDSM stuff. Just makes it easier for my first time trying things out if I’m not worrying about, um, bleeding everywhere.”  Roger gave you a reassuring smile which made your heart flutter, grateful he hadn’t made things too difficult or drawn out, “That’s settled then. We can put a pin in all of this for now and come back to it when you’re ready.”  “Thanks. Will Friday suit? I think I should be right by then.”  “Friday sounds great.”  “Really? You don’t have to, like, pick up the kids or anything?”  Roger shook his head, amused, “No. It is technically my weekend with them but they’re both staying at friend’s placed over night so I won’t see them until Saturday. Friday we can start testing some things and if we need to, we can come back next Monday and go through more. And I finish a bit earlier on Fridays so maybe we could start a bit earlier.”  “Yeah that works for me.”  “Great. I guess we should get out of here then.” Roger ushered you from the classroom and walked beside you all the way to the carpark, your footsteps echoing down the corridors. He chatted to you quietly about non-kinky topics, as if you’d merely ended up walking the same direction by accident, just in case anyone was looking.   You were almost sad to reach your car, drawing the conversation to an end, “This is me.”  “One last thing, Ms Y/L/M.”  “Mmm?”  “For homework-”  “Homework?”  “Yes. For homework I want you to watch some porn with impact play in it. You’ll find a few examples linked in a document I’ve dropped in our folder but feel free to find your own too. It can be spanking by hand or flogging or any other form of impact we discussed today, whatever turns you on most. Because I want you horny when I see you on Friday. I want you to spend all week thinking about naughty sluts who get spanks, knowing you’ll soon be one of them. I want you excited to be hit and wet at the thought of me spanking your arse and cunt while I fill your holes with cock. Is that clear?”  Roger had leant closer as he talked and your stomach did a backflip as he stood up. All you could do was nod, completely lost for words as Roger chuckled and walked into the dark towards his own car.   

[bisexual-horror-fan]

I Don’t Ask For Much. Freddy Krueger X Reader.

WELL HERE WE ARE!

Been a minute since I have written for my main boy. No one requested this, no way this one is allll me, I took a bit of a break after finishing The Man Of My Dreams but was missing the mans and I had this idea rolling around my head for a little while so here it is! Just some full out, full on, nasty Freddy smut. Without any further ado, here we go, ENJOY!

Rating. Explicit. Length. 5.2K. Freddy Krueger X Reader. Warnings: Rough sex, knife play, blood play, cutting, asking for permission, punishment, spanking, teasing, mocking, dom/sub dynamics, Freddy being a bastard as per usual, slight degradation, fingering, squirting, dirty talk but pet names too.

---

I Don’t Ask For Much.

---

He had been visiting you for a while. A long while, he had taken quite a liking to you, or enough of a liking he decided you were worth the trouble to keep you around. He already had plenty of people to hunt and to kill but you were good for fulfilling a different kind of need that he had. 

You didn't have anyone else and fuck it was so good, so filthy, so hot, he would visit whenever the mood struck and used you however he saw fit and you fucking let him. 

More than let him, you enjoyed it, reveled in it, loved it. 

I mean who could say no to him? 

Lord knows you couldn’t.

Not when he was capable of making you feel as hot as the air in the boiler room itself that he normally had you in. 

Now all this being said, even though he ‘liked’ you, as much as he was capable of liking someone in this kind of arrangement really, he still enjoyed toying with you. Hunting you, chasing you, scaring you before getting onto the main course and what he really intended to do with you. 

This is where we find you, asleep and dreaming, it started as a normal dream until he twisted and manipulated it into another nightmare. 

You had gone to bed in some of your usual sleepwear, just a loose t-shirt and some shorts, they still felt far too constricting and stifling in the heat of the boiler room you were being chased through. The concrete was rough and wet beneath your feet as you ran, the pipes were always dripping, if you weren't careful you could easily slip and he would have you, then again isn't that what you wanted? 

Of course it was but why give in so easily? You'd be lying to yourself if you said you didn't like playing a little hard to get, especially since whenever he did catch up to you couldn't keep up that act of being terrified and not wanting this, wanting him. 

You would think that you would have gotten acquainted with the layout of the boiler room but you are pretty sure that he can change it on a whim. Never the same, keeping it a messy confusing maze, all the better when he was hunting and pursuing someone. 

You still would try to make sense of it all the same, you think you remembered this corner being familiar, a hard left, stairs! You had been right! Up you went, wincing slightly at the rough metal grating on your bare feet, you had been running pretty hard on such rough flooring it was getting to be a little painful. Taking the steps two at a time, hand on the railing, it felt rough and rusty under your hand, if you gripped too hard it might cut you. You were used to getting cut in here and waking up bloodied but because of him not from a railing that might give you tetanus, could a dream give you tetanus? A thought you didn't linger long on as you reached the top step and started down the metal catwalk, you were getting tired, lungs burning, legs sore, it was so strange being physically tired while still asleep, but it was always strange with him.

You reached a dead end, the catwalk broke off, you just managed to stop in time, hand still gripping the railing for support. 

Then you heard him on the stairs behind you, the sound of his metal blades scraping along the railing as he climbed the stairs along with the heavy footfalls of his boots alerting you to his presence. 

Fuck.

Nowhere to go, nowhere to hide, time to face him. 

You took a step forward to get away from the precarious edge you were on, and there he was on the same level you were, few feet between the two of you now. 

“Finally caught up, huh?”

Your breathing had mostly returned to normal but was still slightly labored from your run, you liked to tease him, enjoying the reactions you could draw out of him from not backing down so quickly.

“Finally got tired of letting you think you can get away from me.”

Okay Jesus why did his voice have to do it for you like that? 

And again the idea of that. He only lets you think that you can get away from him, likes to let you think you can escape even though you cannot. He was taking his time coming closer, in no rush, the sound of those blades dragging on the railing was terrible, you cringed slightly and that made him smirk. Bastard that he was, he loved to make you uncomfortable. You swear you wouldn’t normally put up with such treatment from someone but hey when he fucked you the way he did you could take a little uncomfortability and it was better than the alternative, better than ending up dead like the others he would visit and bring here. 

“Sure that is what it really is? Not just you getting slow in your old age?”

Much closer to you now, about two strides from being on you, close enough to reach out and touch you, fuck how you wanted him to touch you,

“So confident tonight. What’s gotten into you?”

Need. 

A deep and hungry need to just get ruined by him, you just wanted it hard and brutal, punishing, to wake up sore and spent, wake up so used and tired that it felt like you hadn’t slept at all. 

Was that so much to ask for?

He could obviously tell just what you needed. 

“Nothin’. Just talking to you the same way you talk to me.”

A laugh from him. Tips of the blades of his glove had met your hand that was still on the railing, they were cold as usual but you suppressed a shiver. 

“Hmm and who says you get to talk to me like that?”

More pressure, blades threatening to break through the delicate skin on the back of your hand, you winced slightly, he let up, glove instead starting to slide up your forearm, taking a step closer with the motion of it. You were still too close to the edge of the broken catwalk to think about taking a step back from him. His non-gloved hand reached out and grabbed your jaw hard, thumb running over your bottom lip and you responded much quieter than before,

“Oh do I need your permission to speak?”

You were being terrible tonight, normally by this point you would have given in, he was enjoying the fight in you right now, you weren’t sure how much longer you could keep it up however.

“Maybe not to speak but you do know you need it for other things.”

True.

He liked it when you asked for permission, and you would once again be a liar if you said you didn’t like it too, normally whenever you asked he gave in, least you could do was indulge his slight begging kink when he was so generous with you. Gloved hand had met your shoulder, metal still felt cold through the thin material of your shirt, with his non-gloved hand still on your jaw he tilted your head, exposing more of your throat, tips of two blades hooking into your shirt collar, grazing over your skin so light it caused goosebumps and made you want to shiver again. 

“Distracted?”

He asked. You had been looking at where his glove was moving, what it had been doing, your gaze flicked back to his face, so smug. Before you could respond those same two blades in your shirt collar moved down, with a swift motion cutting the thin fabric with ease, you think you would be used to this by now but you weren’t. A small gasp as he cut, he had nicked you slightly, the first cut of the night always hit a little different, particularly when it was so unexpected as this one had been. His hand let go of your jaw finally, trailed down your neck and gripped the other side of your shirt, both hands using the deep cut he had made to rip the flimsy garment with ease from your body. Torn shreds falling to your feet, again this was fine, it was an old shirt anyway and it felt nice, the boiler room was so damn hot it was kind of nice being shirtless, and again even nicer was being so exposed to him. You were hungry yourself by this point, you released the railing, hands coming to your hips with the intention of getting rid of your shorts, gloved hand grabbed your wrist, hard, 

“Did I say that you could?”

“No.”

Your reply came soft as you looked up to him, fuck that look of his was deadly, you dropped your hands and as he let you, his look was far less harsh as he chuckled softly,

“So obedient.”

You were for him, there was just something about him that made you want to listen, something about the way he looked at you, talked to you, the presence he had. You would be embarrassed for anyone to know about this side of you, of what he brought out of you but nobody knew with it being contained in these dreams with him.

“I don’t have to be you know…”

Ah still clinging on to those last imagined vestiges of control in this situation, it was laughable, he had all the power here and you were weak to him. If he told you to drop to your knees next you would have in an instant but for now you enjoyed playing pretend that you weren’t so deeply into this. 

“Oh sure kitten I believe you.”

His mocking tone said otherwise as with another step closer he was pressed against you, hands on your hips, another step forward from him made you take one back, again until you bumped against the railing, now you were really stuck.

“Nowhere to run.”

“Nowhere to hide”

You thought with a bite of your lip.

It was extremely flustering having him so close to you, touching you, even after the time you had spent with him it was still a lot to handle, it was always so damn hot in here and him being on you wasn’t helping matters at all. 

Something else that always caused a lot of tension is the fact that the son of a bitch had never even kissed you. He had done terrible, truly awful, debaucherous things to you, but not that, never that. 

And what was worse?

You loved it. 

This monster had made you cum over and over, had fucked you so roughly, but wouldn’t press his mouth to yours.

I mean Lord knows you would never put up with that kind of thing in reality of course not, but in here? With him? When he could make you feel like that?

Well let’s just say you let him get away with a lot more than you ever would anyone else. But back to where you were, back to him having you up against the railing, back to him teasing you, leaning in closer, hot breath on your neck. His leg was between yours, knee so fucking close to where you needed it, if you moved your hips down just a touch you could grind on it, on him. He'd like that too much, you giving in before him, you were feeling hot but not desperate, not yet anyway. 

"How wet are you right now anyway?"

Too wet considering he hasn't touched you below your waist once. You were sure he could smell you, the question was simply posed to worsen your situation, make you hotter and more bothered when you had to answer him. But what if you didn't answer him? 

"Awe all talked out?"

He teased as his thumbs hooked into the waistband of your shorts, while he wouldn't kiss you he wasn't opposed to biting, anything to cause you more pain was obviously on the table, you felt his teeth graze your neck and you inhaled sharply.

"Guess I have to check you myself."

This is exactly what you hoped for when you didn't answer him, he brought his knee up that little bit higher and pressed to your aching core through the thin clothes you still had on your lower half. You gripped the railing you were still leaned against, fuck that friction felt nice, he didn’t linger long but he did give you a few nice, hard, grinds on his thigh before stepping back a little again, finally sliding your shorts down, they pooled at your feet and you were left in just your panties now. His hands slid up your thighs, slowly, blades dragging almost hard enough to break the skin but not quite yet, gloved hand finally back on your hip he gripped hard, metal biting into the tender flesh there. His non gloved hand sliding between your legs, fingers far back before dragging forward, hard, over your clothed slit.

Fuck you really were wet, weren’t you?

“Dripping is an appropriate word I think.”

Him talking to you like that was a problem, his fingers hadn’t stopped moving and that didn’t help, back and forward, you didn’t think the fabric could get any wetter, your head tipped forward slightly until he bit down for the first time, surprised yelp leaving your mouth drawing a laugh from him. 

“So sensitive aren’t you?”

His glove moved and blades hooked in one side of your panties and in one move he had cut them, ripped free now, God he could be so controlling and you were eating it up. His fingers on his non-gloved hand were giving you some direct contact finally, no fabric getting in the way and your eyes fell closed with a moan of his name at the feeling. 

He loved playing with you, pulling different reactions out of you was just too fun for him, mixing pain and pleasure. Seeing how you would moan and sigh when he would press just right on your clit or how you would suck in a harsh inhale of air or tense up when he bit down or dragged cold steel harshly against you drawing fresh blood.  

But he was thinking he had played with you enough.

His hands came under your thighs,

“Legs up.”

You didn’t need to be told twice, gripping the railing harder as your eyes opened again, his hands gripping your thighs hard as he pressed between your legs, he was so fucking hard already. He had leaned back a little, looking you in the eye, oh you knew that look and knew exactly what he wanted, legs wrapped around him, ankles hooked behind him. You were rewarded with his non-gloved hand giving some much needed attention to your clit once more.

“Good job. Got you trained so well I don’t even have to tell you.” 

You were so worked up, you let out a soft moan, breathing was more labored, pressure increased and your hips shifted slightly, leaning up more into his touch, 

“So hungry for it.”

He sure liked to hear himself talk but fuck so did you, that deep voice of his always helped you along so quickly, he was too good at reading you as well.

“Freddy-”

You breathed out his name as your eyes fell down, looking at what he was doing to you was always a treat when you could see it, something about seeing his rough and scarred hands touching you made it better. Maybe it was because you got off so heavily on the fact that you loved doing this in your dreams, as this fun and naughty fantasy but never would in your real life, it was such an escape for you. So different you could totally lose yourself in it. 

“Eyes up here.”

He liked making you look him in the eye though, enjoyed how it could make you squirm, which you did so as you looked up to meet his gaze once more. God you were getting close, you huffed out a hard breath before doing the thing that while it was embarrassing you loved it all the same, even if you didn’t it was one of the few requirements for hooking up with him,

“Please can I Freddy?”

He loved it when you asked, amused smirk on his face, he pressed a little harder making you gasp and he asked in that low mocking tone that made you throb,

“Hmm want to cum?”

The way he circled your clit just so as you were so achingly close was wonderful, you moaned low before begging lightly,

“Yes! Please?”

He was normally very generous with you and tonight was no exception.

“Course kitten, c’mon cum for me.”

And that was all you needed to hear, back arched, another moan of his name as you came, clit pulsing under his touch, thighs trembling as you fought to keep your legs around him, eyes rolled back as you lost yourself in the moment of pure bliss he had gifted you. You were oh so lucky he loved to watch you come undone for him. 

No rest for you, his hand off of you, hips rolled forward, hard length ground against you and you moaned again, barely over the aftershocks of your orgasm as he started to undo his pants. 

Fuck yes you needed this right now, you felt painfully empty at this moment, needed to be filled, you arched to grind back on him, you had just cum and yet were still so hungry for him. He seemed ready for it, not necessarily impatient or rushing, he just knew what he wanted from you and he was going to take it. 

“Spoiled little thing. Barely finished cumming and you are already begging to get fucked.”

You knew what was expected and you did so without another thought, debasing yourself as he craved to hear from you,

“Ye-yes I am, please Freddy I need it.”

He was so obliging to you, he ground on you, you bit your bottom lip, pathetic whine leaving your throat at the feeling of him, he didn’t need to grind his now bared length against you for long before he was wet enough to slide in with ease. You let out a low groan once he was fully seated inside your slick heat, looking up to him, pleading with your eyes to please move, to please fuck you like you longed for. 

He looked so fucking smug when he had you like this, he gripped harder with his gloved hand still under your thigh you bit your bottom lip at how sharp it felt, you knew once he started to fuck you you’d get cut. The motion of it and the placement of those blades, how hard they were biting into your thigh you knew on the first really hard thrust he would draw blood. He was aware of it too, you were sure the placement of his glove was no accident, you were sure it was on purpose but you still wanted it.

“Freddy…”

You whispered it and finally he pulled out slowly before pushing forward again making you moan once more, he wasn’t gentle but he started out slowly, enjoying the drag of his hard cock against your swollen walls. Then finally he slammed forward hard once, skin broke and you cursed as you felt hot slick blood spill forth, you couldn’t control it when you cried out-

“YES!”

He paused for a moment, buried all the way inside of you, head dipped down and he bit the sensitive spot where neck met shoulder and you whined as he said against your skin, tone was rough and low,

“You love it when I hurt you.”

No question about it.

A clear and concise statement, and a true one at that. 

You did.

He was rough with you, took you hard, speaking of hard if you gripped the rusty railing any harder you would cut your palms open too. You could feel your blood leaking between the fingers of his glove, another particularly hard thrust made you pant out his name, your legs tightened around him and with that you had some delicious friction on your clit once more, so right and so needed. 

You were ruined already, rocking with him, breathing so hard as he took you, lord knows you wouldn’t last much longer, pleasure coiling inside of you, burning and hot the same as the room around you. Pleasure building inside of you, up, up, up and you breathed out that word again, a desperate plea, a hurried question-

“Please?”

“No.”

Now that you weren’t expecting. He liked you asking but he always allowed you until now. You thought he just liked hearing you beg, liked you asking as a means of control and domination but there hadn’t been the follow through until right now.

Now he was telling you no.

“No?”

It came out rushed, a little frantic, you were a bit confused, another bite on your throat, you were pulled closer to the edge and you bit your bottom lip in response with a soft moan,

“No.”

He said it so firmly. You knew he expected you to listen but how were you supposed to? How were you supposed to hold back right now?

“I don’t knooow if I ha! Ca-a-an-”

He pulled back a little to look in your eyes, fuck that stare was intense, his hips paused only for a moment as he said,

“You better.”

A pang of fear in your chest, you knew you should listen, who knows what he would do if you didn’t but it was too good. The way he hit that spot inside, the slight grind when he was all the way inside again, the friction on your clit, the pain providing the all important dangerous edge you had come accustomed to in these sessions with him. All of it was just right. You tried to fight it, tried to loosen your legs a little, hoping it would ease the friction on your clit but his glove gripped harder, preventing you from moving your legs even an inch. You whimpered and tried to take it, tried to hold out,

“Don’t.”

He warned you and while it did sound serious you swore you could hear the hint of a smile in his voice, unable to tell if he really was smiling because his face was still buried in your neck, another bite and you groaned his name. It’s like he wanted you to fail on purpose, like he was doing every little thing right, just trying to see how far he could push you before breaking you down, splitting you open. 

All things considered you did last a decent amount of time, certainly longer than he anticipated for the first time he dropped this on you but he won out. Another hard thrust and grind and there you were, no hope of stopping it, you clenched around him and fell into your second orgasm of the night. You shuddered, eyes shut tightly as you rode out the pleasure, heaving, you could feel the sweat dripping down between your breasts and from behind your knees. It took you a moment to register he had stopped, holding still inside of you, your eyes opened to find him staring you down, you swallowed hard and offered up softly,

“Sorry?...”

“Sorry?”

He sounded amused but his expression said otherwise, he continued, 

“Tsk. Y/n what am I going to do with you?”

He dragged his glove up from under your thigh, over your hip and up your side, paper thin cuts, small red lines being drawn up flushed skin until finally the blade on his index finger dragged under your jaw, tilting your chin up, you winced and he stated,

“I don’t ask for much.”

He gave a slight shake of his head, hips rolled forward, a delicious grind that threatened to make your eyes roll back again as he pressed on,

“I really don’t. I give and I give and all I ask is that you listen when I tell you to do something.”

His gloved hand gripped your throat and it stole your breath, the leather felt slick from your blood, you were certain you were going to be an utter mess when you awoke, you would have to take some pictures to forever remember how wrecked you were. It was always fun to look back on them when you were alone in bed and thinking of him as you attempted to recreate the feelings he could stir up in you. His grip tightened and he said,

“What am I gonna do with you?”

What was he going to do with you?

“Can’t listen to me the one time I tell you no.”

He already knew. 

Already knew exactly what to do with you.

“I haven’t had you in your bed yet, have I?”

You were a little shocked but you nodded timidly and said,

“No. No you haven’t.”

It was an option you hadn’t even considered to be perfectly honest, he always took you in the boiler room, in uncomfortable positions, against walls or the floor, bent over or like right now on this catwalk, legs around him, leaning on and gripping the railing, he spoke again,

“I should fix that shouldn’t I?”

A snap of his non gloved hand and you were falling back, the railing had disappeared and before you could blink your back hit the soft and familiar blankets of your own bed. The change was so sudden and startling but you didn’t have time to think of that as he pulled out of you, his grip tightened on your throat, your hand over his glove as it was harder to breathe with how he was gripping you, he said,

“When I let go of you-”

He gave you a harsh look that made your heart pound in your chest, whether it was from arousal from his dominance or fear from his weapon on such a delicate part of you it didn’t really matter. He continued,

“-I expect you to get on your hands and knees. Quickly.”

You nodded, eyes wide and after a beat he removed his glove and you complied, scrambling to be on your hands and knees for him, gloved hand on your hip once you were in position for him, 

“Good.”

A very hard spank with his non-gloved hand on your ass that made you gasp and he said,

“You have a nice bed, I could get real comfortable here y/n.”

Two more hard smacks in a row that made you yelp and him chuckle, 

“Now then. Onto what I am going to do with you. Which pillow do you sleep on, kitten?”

What did he have in mind?

You listened all the same and reached out grabbed the one you normally slept on, one more hard spank as he said, 

“Good girl, now put it between your legs.”

Now why did he want you to do that?

You didn’t question it, positioning it between your spread thighs,

“Perfect.”

One final smack and his non gloved hand slipped back between your legs, fingers dragged over your slit until coming to rest on your clit, circles rubbed and you moaned, wait how was this supposed to be a punishment exactly? 

You were so sensitive right now but who could blame you after those two previous spectacular orgasms? Fingers slid back and he slipped two fingers inside of you drawing a curse from you, his fingers hooked and found that sweet spot inside of you,

“Freddy yes-”

“Oh I don’t think you’ll be saying that soon.”

He said it so harshly it scared you a little, fuck it felt so good right now, there had to be a twist to this, what was it going to be? He built you up so fucking quickly, far too good with his fingers as he worked you over, curling and flexing, scissoring in and out, your fingers curled in the sheets and your eyes screwed shut with a moan. You were getting close again, you pushed back against his fingers, chasing that pleasure, forgetting yourself and he reminded you,

“You still have to ask.”

You did, you begged and pleaded,

“Please? Fuck-Fredd-”

Your begging cut short as you gasped, you realized right then that not only was that familiar feeling building inside of you that of your impending orgasm but also a slightly less familiar feeling, you knew when you came you were going to squirt,

“Ah finally caught on, eh?”

A small reminder that he can see inside your head. He hadn’t let up, his thumb brushed against your clit as those same two fingers plunged inside of you, you were on the edge, a dark laugh as he continued,

“No running from it, you are going to cum, understood?”

No way could you deny him. You came the hardest you had so far that night with an ample gush of wetness and a cry of his name, his fingers slowed but didn’t stop as he drew out your orgasm as long as he could, you were shaking when he finally slipped his fingers out of you. His gloved hand gripped your shoulder hard and he pulled you up so your back met his chest, 

“Felt good?”

You were still breathless when you nodded and sighed,

“Yes.”

“Awe. Good.”

He gripped tighter, blades of his glove biting into your shoulder, his non-gloved hand came around your front, dragged over your chest and down your stomach and between your legs again, you closed your eyes, head tipping back to rest on his shoulder, expecting him to touch you again.

You were so forgetful.

This was supposed to be a punishment after all.

Remember?

He gripped the pillow that had been below you and threw it up higher on the bed, gloved hand squeezed once before he pushed you down hard, face down into your pillow. It was wet and cold, you let out a small sound of protest, it felt slick and smelt of sex. He was making you confront directly what he did to you, making you feel your wetness on your own face, inhale the scent of your own depravity. His gloved hand slid up from your shoulder to the back of your head, he pushed down, burying your face harder into the pillow, you were face down ass up and he gave you another hard spank with his non-gloved hand. It was hard to breathe with how he had you positioned, you felt him grind on you again, still achingly hard,

“I think you’ve cum enough tonight.”

He sunk inside of you once more, stretching your over-sensitive cunt open, it would have made you gasp if you could have inhaled more than the small amount he was allowing you currently.

“You better not cum again. You don’t want to know what I’ll do then.”

 See he said that but you were pretty sure you did.

He pulled out only a few inches before a hard snap of his hips forward took your breath even further away from you.

Oh God yeah you weren’t going to have a choice in this matter. 

Good thing too, you liked it when he made the choice for you and there was no way your third orgasm was going to be the last of the night, looks like your curiosity would be satiated. One clear thought ringing through your head before another slam of his hips made it disappear with a moan and blinding, burning pleasure, that thought being,

“Thank fuck for that.”

[bohemian-rhapsody-slash]

Omg thank you so much for the amazing submission @nothingelsematterswrites ❤️ This is so lovely- not only is it amazingly written, but also every detail is in line with the IBTYF verse! This is exactly how I imagine this scene would go down.

*****

I hope you don't mind a little playing in your worlds - this wouldn't stop knocking around my brain! - @nothingelsematterswrites

*

Andrew struggled in through the door with his bag full of textbooks. University was harder than he thought, but his motivation kept him going: he needed to do well to become the dom his family needed. The house was quiet; he figured everyone was out, and went into the kitchen to get a drink before he started his homework.

He walked into the kitchen and froze.

Because there was his mother, his mother, sitting cross-legged on a cushion on the floor as he ate his cheese on toast, while Brian sat at the table reading, one hand in John's hair.

Andrew saw red.

"What the fuck is going on here?" He ran forward and slid his arm under John's. "Mum, you can get up, it's okay, you don't have to do this, I'll take care of you."

John was so surprised that he let himself get pulled up. Brian looked equally as shocked.

"Andrew..."

"Don't you Andrew me! My mother is not some kind of doll you can just make do whatever you want!"

"Andrew, listen to me." Brian's voice was firmer, his Dom leaking out. "We're going to talk about this when you're calmer. Why don't you go up to your room, and then we'll talk?"

"You can't tell me what to do! You're not my father!"

Brian went very white, and John frowned at his son.

"Andrew, that was uncalled-for."

"I'm going to get you out of here, mum," Andrew continued raging, unhearing. "I'm going to take on my role as your nominated dom and you'll never have to be anyone's sex toy again. God, I should have listened to that guy at the funeral when he said Brian would just take advantage of you!"

Brian recoiled as though Andrew had struck him, and John rounded on his son, absolutely furious.

"Andrew. Frederick. Mercury. That's enough. You will not speak about your Uncle Brian that way. Go to your room this instant and I will come and talk to you about this disgraceful behaviour."

When John used that coldly angry tone, Andrew couldn't disobey, dynamics be damned. Shooting one last angry glare at Brian, he stomped up to his room and threw himself on his bed.

Back in the kitchen, John wrapped his arms around Brian. "Bri? Are you all right? Speak to me."

"I...I didn't realise...I knew Andrew was having a hard time with everything but I didn't realise he thought so little of me." Brian's voice was thick with the tears he would not shed.

"Don't worry, I'll talk to him. There must be something going on. A man at the funeral...I don't like the sound of that," John mused as he made his way upstairs.

Andrew growled at the tap on the door. "Who is it?"

"It's me, Andrew, and I'm coming in whether you like it or not."

Andrew sat up and wiped his eyes. Doms weren't supposed to cry. "Come in."

John closed the door behind him and seated himself on the bed.

"I'm very disappointed in your behaviour just now, Andrew."

Andrew cringed. John's face softened.

"I want you to talk to me. I want you to tell me why you reacted that way. I need to know what's going on so I can see where we're going wrong."

Andrew frowned as he looked up. "He was making you sit on the floor. He doesn't have the right to punish you, he doesn't have the right to make you do anything -"

"Andrew," John interrupted, "what makes you think Brian made me sit on the floor?"

Andrew's thoughts came to a stuttering halt.

"Because...because you're a sub and he's a dom...and they told us at school that that was a normal punishment...?"

Realisation dawned on John.

"Andrew, dear, what did they teach you about sub instincts at school?"

"Almost nothing," Andrew admitted. "Like, they said subs need to be properly punished and rewarded, but that was about it."

"And your father and I were going to teach you...but then we had other things on our minds," John murmured to himself softly, and Andrew knew what he meant; by the time Andrew was sixteen, Freddie was already getting sick.

"Andrew," John continued, "You know how you get dominant urges?"

Andrew nodded. He did his best to control them, but wasn't always successful.

"Well, it's the same for subs. We get submissive urges, where we need to engage in certain behaviours to make ourselves feel better."

Andrew nodded again, more slowly, wondering where this was going.

"Darling," John smiled, "I was sitting on the floor because I wanted to."

Blink. Blink.

"I'm only forty-two, darling. I'm not dead. Today was just a day when I really needed to not be in control of anything for a while. Brian tried to talk me out of sitting on the floor, but he knows that sometimes that's what we need."

"Brian...didn't...make you?"

"No, sweetheart. It was my choice."

Andrew tried to think. Suddenly, it explained a few other things. Some days when Roger would do nothing but call Brian "Master". Some days where James wouldn't meet his eye. Days when John wouldn't argue with Brian at all, only agree to an opinion.

His cheeks flushed red with embarrassment. "I'm sorry, mum."

"That's all right, sweetheart. But I do want you to go and apologise to Brian after this. He's had a hard time of it, with the number of children he's responsible for doubling, and two subs to look after."

Andrew snorted before he could help it. "That doesn't sound so hard."

"That brings us to something else. You mentioned the man at the funeral before. Who was he? What did he say about Brian?"

"He said...he said that he knew Brian, had worked with him, and knew Brian would take advantage to have two subs in his bed, that it was what Brian wanted."

"Did you get his name?"

"Mmm," Andrew tried to think. "Ray someone...Ray...Foster, that was it."

John looked like he'd seen a ghost.

"Andrew," he managed to say, his voice shaking, "Ray Foster is not a man to be trusted. I can't blame you, you didn't know, but...god, he shouldn't have even been at the funeral, Freddie would have killed him if he saw him. So would Bri. God, I'm not surprised, but..."

"Mum?"

"Ray Foster," John explained carefully; none of the children knew exactly what the first contract had entailed, but Andrew was probably getting old enough to know. "Ray Foster was our first manager, at Trident. Back then...unclaimed subs signed to record labels were given to the manager. Foster never forgave Brian for claiming Roger, but he especially hated that your father claimed me. He...he tried to destroy us, to prove that the claims were false."

Andrew couldn't help a little laugh. "Did he have eyes? Did he see the way Uncle Brian looks at Uncle Roger?"

John smiled. "Well, he tried very hard, but he ultimately failed. Fortunately, we got free of him, but he wanted Roger and I so very much, and he kept trying to find ways to make it happen. In the end, the police had to get involved. But he hated your father and Brian until the very end. I suspect he is bitter and furious that Brian is now responsible for me."

Andrew nodded, by now feeling thoroughly ashamed of himself. But there was one more thing he had to know.

"Mum...do you...let Brian punish you? And reward you?"

"Yes, sweetheart," John replied gently. "As I said, I'm forty-two, not dead. I have needs. Your father asked Brian to look after me, in every way possible, and he does. I want him to. But I do not love him like I loved your father, and I will never be Brian's sub, because he loves Roger more than anything in this world. Brian's not trying to replace your father, Andrew. He's just trying to do what he thinks is right."

Andrew finally gave into the urge to let his mother hug him.

"I love you, mum."

"I love you too, Andy."

*

"Uncle Brian?"

Brian looked up from his papers to see Andrew standing at the door to his office, shuffling his feet awkwardly.

"Yes, Andrew? Come in."

"I'm sorry," Andrew blurted out. "I didn't realise - I didn't know - I thought you were -"

"I know," Brian smiled. "John told me what you thought. I didn't realise sex ed was so lacking in schools these days."

"I shouldn't have said those things," Andrew hung his head.

"No, you shouldn't have," Brian agreed. "But you were acting out of love for your mother, which is very admirable. Andrew?"

Brian waited until Andrew looked back up at him.

"When you're old enough, and ready, I do plan to let you be your mother's nominated dom. That was the plan your father and I made. But it's a heavy responsibility, and I don't want you to have to shoulder it too early. I want you to have your youth, too, you know." Brian smiled fondly at him.

To his surprise, Andrew hugged him.

"I understand now. Thanks, Uncle Bri."

[nyerus]

Nyerus’ Victuuri Fic Rec List

These are in no particular order, really, just a list of my fave Victuuri fics—some of which I think a little less well known (but idk). I’ve been sitting on this for SO LONG that some of the “lesser known” ones are huge now hahaha! I’ll probably make a page for this or something later.

I pulled the “genres” mostly from the tags, but basically winged it based on what felt right. Most fics rated as “Explicit” in this list have smut in them so keep that in mind, but I’ve made special annotations as need be. I’ve also mentioned if there are any significant side pairings.

I’ve added mini-reviews (kinda) as well, which are just my personal thoughts on a fic without getting too spoilery, but you can feel free to skip them.

Current count:

Canon:7

AU: 21

(Quite long, so under a cut).

Canonverse

1.) Heartbreaker by drowsycyborg (Status: Complete – 3.1k words) – Teen

Genres: Pre-series, Outsider PoV, Detroit Days, Humor

Katsuki Yuuri is five foot eight, shy, and one of the most gorgeous and heartbreaking humans ever seen in Detroit.

In which Yuuri is Too Beautiful and Good and no one around him knows how to be chill about it. And thus, he unwittingly breaks a lot of hearts in Detroit. Set pre-series, it’s hilarious to see people lament over the sweet, lovely Katsuki Yuuri (long before we see poor Victor fall victim in-canon). Possibly part of a future series?

2.) katsuki_fc wrote by tetsurashian (Status: Complete – 12.7k words) – Gen

Genres:  Social Media, Outsider PoV

Just because Yuuri isn’t big on social media, doesn’t mean his fans aren’t.(aka a social media fic)

Basically the series seen through a social media lens. In other words, the social media reactions one would expect to see in-canon if we got a glimpse of it! It feels very realistic and even incorporates actual fandom discourse (e.g. early fan theories and shipping). A huge round of applause for the author for getting AO3’s formatting to still somehow feel like LJ threads, Tumblr posts, and so on! I’ve read this like a dozen times already and always laugh when I do because it feels sooooo meta.

3.) Distance by surverycorpsjean (Status: Complete – 5.1k words) – Explicit

Genres: Post-series, Domestic, Fluff, Smut

They just can’t stand to be apart.

Victor and Yuuri never outgrow their honeymoon phase and it’s amazing and perfect. Adorable domestic fluff with some great smut (kitchen sex!) in the middle. (It’s set post-canon.) Without a doubt I can say: A+++

4.) The Fundamentals of Caring by braveten (Status: Complete – 20.8k words ) – Explicit

Genres: Hurt/Comfort, Fluff

“Let me guess, you’re going to go take care of Yuuri while he sleeps? Just in case he sneezes or something?” Yurio rolls his eyes, folding his arms across his chest. “Viktor, you’re whipped.”

Viktor rubs the back of his neck as he leans against the wall. “What does that mean?”

“It means that if Yuuri asked you to do a little dance for him in nothing but a coconut bra and a hula skirt, you’d do it.”

Viktor pauses, confused. “And that’s a bad thing?”

Yuuri gets sick while in Russia (not post-series) and Victor tries to take care of him while simultaneously trying to be Chill about it—but a deliriously affectionate Yuuri makes that very difficult. Yurio is eventually recruited to help and he makes Victor’s job harder and easier at the same time, somehow. Very cute!

5.) Lace and Satin by whatsup_buttercup (Status: Complete – 6.2k words) – Explicit

Genres: Established Relationship, Post-series, Lingerie, Light BDSM

“I won gold.” Viktor says, smile in his voice. “Whatever does that mean, Yuuri?”

Yuuri looks down. “Are you sure you don’t want something better?”

“There’s nothing better.” Viktor insists. “Nothing.”

Hoooooo boy! This fic hits basically EVERY single one of my kink so well and honestly I’m grateful it exists. Criminally underrated because it’s so well written and even the dirty talk is A+. It’s technically part of a series but can also work as a standalone (but do yourself a favor and read the other fic in this series too!!!).

6.) Need by sub_textual (Status: Complete – 8.2k) – Explicit

Genres: Post-series, Smut, Semi-public sex

What stands before Viktor now isn’t at all the Yuuri that had stripped off his clothes in front of a hundred people. This is Yuuri, beautiful and blushing, shy in all the ways Viktor knows he isn’t, too embarrassed to express what he really wants. This is Yuuri, abandoning the clasp of Viktor’s pants, to slowly undo Viktor’s tie. This is Yuuri, desperate and needy, ripe and ready for the taking, and he’s all Viktor’s.

Takes place directly after the series, during the banquet. Victor and Yuuri sneak off to the bathroom and get frisky. This fic is hot, ok. There’s a slight dab of exhibitionism and some dom/sub which makes things more exciting!

7.) Jason's Master Plan (to dating the Cute Asian Guy) by Qwertzu (Status: Complete –  9.8k words) –  Teen

Genres: Post-series, Outsider PoV, Humor, Identity Reveal

Jason Hesling, young ice hockey prodigy, rising star of Detroit Ice Tigers and part-time model, had a smile that made women and men alike weak at their knees. It’s been a while since anyone managed to catch his attention – until he met the Cute Asian Guy at Detroit Ice Castle and decided to become his next boyfriend.

Meanwhile, the actual Ice Tiger™ is having the time of his life watching the pretentious JJ-wannabe trying to charm the pants off the completely oblivious, happily married Katsudon.

Hockey jock Jason tries his hardest to woo the “cute Asian guy at Detroit Ice Castle” but isn’t it too bad that said cutie is already happily married to someone else? If only if poor Jason knew.... This fic is honestly a riot and I had such a fun time reading it (and its follow-up fic). It seems to be part of a longer series and I eagerly await more installments! I guess I have a thing for Victuuri breaking everyone’s hearts by being so smitten with each other!

Alternate Universe

1.) Healthy Impropriety by mtothedestiel (Status: Complete – 29.5k words) – Explicit

Genres: Regency AU, Historical, Courtship

Victor is the wealthy master of the Nikiforov estate. At a society party he’s swept off his feet by the mysterious, suave, and very drunk Katsuki Yuuri. Victor aims to declare his love and secure Mr. Katsuki’s hand in marriage, but first he has to find him!

A legit Regency AU in which The Banquet happens Victorian-style and Victor, as always, falls head over heels for drunk Yuuri—who he then sets out to properly court. Victor is a rich, hopeless romantic and Yuuri is a sensible, normal guy trying to live his life. There’s lots of really cute, fluffy scenes between these two with a little bit of angst thrown in there to keep things interesting. It reads like a Jane Austen novel and has a lovely happy ending topped off with some smut!

2.) don’t want to be lonely just want to be yours by Linisy (Status: Incomplete) – Explicit

Genres: Idol AU, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Social Media, Alternating PoV

This time the flesh and blood Yuuri wasn't around to distract him, and he watched the video intently, hypnotized by the swing of Yuuri’s hips, the look in his eyes that burned with intensity and the strong, confident line of his shoulders. Yuuri was, as always, breathtaking.

Victor remembered their first meeting well. Yuuri was the last member to join the group. He was soft spoken, and he stood as if he were trying to make himself smaller, shoulders drawn inward, head tilted toward the ground, glasses slipping off his nose. Victor was surprised to hear that he was the second oldest behind Victor himself.

Everything changed the first time he saw him dance. - Vitya, Katsu, Yura, Beka and Chu make up the top idol group SVD. They've been through hell together, living in their tiny dorm and working toward the day they'd finally hit it big. That day has finally come, but sometime over the course of the past three years, Victor has fallen in love with Yuuri Katsuki.

An idol fic that’s full of social media shenanigans, glamour, and emotions. Based on KPop idol groups (like BTS), this fic is a such treat and I can’t even properly articulate why!!! Along with the humor, it’s also incredibly realistic regarding the hardships faced by idol groups due to the heavy restrictions placed on their personal lives by the company that “owns” them. It’s got the right mix of fun and angst and honestly I think about this fic every day. I can’t wait for more!!!!

3.) My Name on Your Lips by feelslikefire (Status: Complete – 108k words) – Explicit

Genres: Historical Fantasy, Magic, Arranged Marriage, Royalty, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics

Yuuri Katsuki has been betrothed to the High King’s son, Victor, since he was just a child; furthermore, as an omega, he’s forbidden from practicing magic in combat. For years, he’s been able to put off the former because the Prince was traveling abroad, and gotten around the latter by practicing with his mentor in secret.

Now Victor Nikiforov has finally returned home, and Yuuri is being summoned to the capital for their wedding. He needs a plan to put off marriage long enough to find a way to break the betrothal, while keeping his practicing from being discovered.

If only the Prince didn’t have other ideas.

(Or, the swords-and-sorcery arranged marriage AU. Updates weekly.)

This is one of my personal favorites, featuring all my fave things: fantasy, magic, battles, intrigue, and a slow-burn! It does have A/B/O elements but even if that’s not your cup of tea you’ll enjoy this fic for all the other wonderful things it has to offer. The world building is great and the plot keeps you interested at all times. Never a dull moment and has a great mix of tension, fluff, angst, etc. Watch these two dorks fall deeply in love while also getting a fully fleshed-out story. It’s beautifully written.

4.)  Yuuri Enchanted by the__magpie (Status: Complete – 57k words)  – Teen

Genres: Fantasy, Fairytale, Slow Burn

At birth, Yuuri Katsuki was given the gift of obedience, although he quickly learns as he grows up that it is a curse. He has to obey any command given to him, even if it puts him or others in danger. Too afraid to face the terrifying outside world, Yuuri stays in his home town of Hasetsu, until a chance encounter with Prince Victor urges him to venture outside of his safe bubble. Determined to break his curse, Yuuri begins on an adventure involving fairies, ogres, true love, and courage he never knew he had.

An Ella Enchanted AU (based more on the book)! A great fairytale read even if you’ve never read the book (or seen the movie). I love it to bits and that’s all I can say!

5.) Retrouvailles by persephoneggsy (Status: Complete – 32k words) – Teen*

Genres: Historical, Childhood Friends, Friends-to-Lovers, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics

retrouvailles: the feeling one gets after reuniting after a long time

After he presents as an Omega, Yuuri Katsuki is sent to study abroad for ten long years. When he returns, he’s far, far different from the adorable little boy that used to follow Victor around like a puppy.

Victor is shook.

A very sweet AU that has that regency-vibe. Features confident ballet dancer Yuuri and hopeless mess Victor. The Russian skating team is all one big family here and it’s great, while all the other skaters are dancers too. It has a shifting perspective between Victor and Yuuri, so we get to see what’s going on in both their heads. The A/B/O is pretty light apart from some plot details, so if that’s not your thing this fic is still very enjoyable. [*There is smut in the final chapter, which can be standalone/ignored, hence why the rating remains T overall.]

6.) A Place Like Home by whatsup_buttercup (Status: Complete -- 7k words) -- Explicit

Genres: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Post-series, Emotional Hurt/Comfort

“Do you still skate, Yuuri?” It’s bold of Hiroshi to use his first name, but the familiarity makes sense, considering what they’re discussing.

“No,” Yuuri says, empty. “Not anymore.”

Hiroshi reaches out and puts his hand over Yuuri’s. It’s a little hot from the tea. “If you choose me, we have a rink nearby. I’ll make sure you can skate every day.”

This is a heartbreaking A/B/O in which Yuuri ended things with Victor in Barcelona and is now under pressure to find a suitable mate. Luckily, Victor hasn’t give up on them, no matter what Yuuri may think. It’s a lovely and achingly sweet story, and I was so happy by the end!!!

7.) blood is thicker than by icanhinatashouyoutheworld (Status: Incomplete) – Teen

Genres: Enemies-to-Friends-to-Lovers, Custody Battle, Angst, Fluff, Eventual Romance

“You might be Yuri’s biological parent, Mr. Nikiforov. But I’m his father. If Yuri wants to go with you, that’s one thing,” Yuuri Katsuki’s voice flows quiet and dangerous into the room “but if he doesn’t, don’t think that you’re taking my child away from home,”

Or: Victor Nikiforov finds out he has a son. He wants full custody.

Katsuki Yuuri isn’t going to give up his child that easily.

Or: Victor and Yuuri fight a custody battle for Yurio. Shit happens.

Or: Yuri Plisetsky starts with one parent, and ends up with two.

A unique fic in which Victor is Yurio’s biological father, while Yuuri is his adoptive one. Yuuri is struggling to make ends meet and support his child while Victor is a rich supermodel. The relationship between Yuuri and Yurio is so achingly sweet and it’s very easy to root for Yuuri in this fic. It’ll be great to see how Yuuri and Victor eventually become friends and then lovers—so that they all become one big happy family!

8.) Kings in Couture by slightlied (Status: Incomplete) – Teen

Genres:Slow Burn, Alternate Occupations, Fashion

a devil wears prada au in which victor is the editor-in-chief of a fashion magazine, yuuri’s his new secretary, and instead of talking about his feelings, victor just sends him on a bunch of errands 

A Devil Wears Prada­-esque AU which I stumbled upon and am SO grateful for. It’s funny, cute, and features the whole cast in various roles. Yuuri is adorable and Victor is glamorous as ever. It’s such a fun read!!!

9.) Assassin’s Tango by MEIXIU (Status: Incomplete) – Explicit

Genres: Assassins AU, Secret Identity

They are the world’s most greatest assassins. Their identities are a secret, even from each other. One day, however, they discover that they have been assigned to kill one another and their reality comes crashing down on them both.

This is basically a Mr. and Mrs. Smith AU and I’m super excited about it! Features Victor as a suave hitman who’s still a hopeless romantic, and Yuuri as a clever honeypot—who’s juggling his job, school, and his new whirlwind romance. Lots of hot scenes mingled with fluff. Impending angst on the horizon, but the promise of a happy ending keeps me from crying too hard!

10.) The Rules for Lovers by ADreamingSongbird (Status: Incomplete) – Teen

Genres: Urban Fantasy, Urban Magic, Arranged Marriage, Mutual Pining, Royalty, Multiple PoV

Prince Yuuri Katsuki has a duty to his country, above all else (his desires, his dreams, and his happiness included), and he knows this alliance will help to ensure the safety of his people. That’s the only reason he accepts Prince Nikiforov’s hand in marriage. The pleasant surprise, of course, is the part where they fall in love along the way. The unpleasant one, well…

That’s a long story.

It’s always a treat to watch these two dorks fall hopelessly in love with each other. They might be engaged, but the mutual pinging intense and heart-wrenching. The political intrigue is just as compelling as Yuuri and Victor’s evolving relationship. The story shifts between many character’s perspectives, keeping things interesting. (And there’s some side Mila/Sara too!)

11.) I Write Sins, Not Tragedies by cuttlemefish (Status: Incomplete) -- Explicit

Genres: Arranged Marriage, Social Media, Mutual Pining, Romantic Comedy, Fluff

Things would be a little easier if Yuuri wasn’t so in love with his husband Viktor, especially considering they have an arranged marriage. Two years after their wedding, Yuuri and Viktor are incredibly in love, but can’t seem to get over the hump of their platonic union to consummate their marriage! Good thing Yuuri is the most (in)famous erotic fanfiction author of the Love in the Streets fandom. Now, he’s got the support of the Internet to figure out how to seduce his husband, if only he can continue to keep their identities a secret. Or, the AU in which everyone thinks Yuuri and Viktor have the perfect marriage full of adventurous sex when, in fact, Viktor sleeps in the guest bedroom and Yuuri writes erotic fanfiction to quench his thirst.

This is a HILARIOUS fic and that’s all I can really even say without doing this work a grave injustice. It’s very well-written and there’s no angst like I thought there would be. Just extreme thirst!!! Can’t wait to see these two get their shit together eventually and work off all that pent-up sexual frustration.

12.) Like a Fairytale by lucyamui (Status: Complete – 73.4k words) – Teen

Genres: Historical, Fairytale, Royalty, Fluff

In which Prince Victor gets swept off his feet at a royal banquet and will go to any length to find his ‘Cinderella’ Yuuri. (And Phichit is the fairy godmother who has no idea what he’s doing)

A Cinderella story in which the Grand Prix Banquet happens, in its own fairytale way. This story features enthusiastic Prince Victor and timid baker/pâtissier Yuuri. Along with Phichit as the Fairy God Mother! It’s fluffy, cute, and has plenty of mutual pining.

13.) lie to make me like you by cityboys (Status: Complete – 80k words) – Mature

Genres:Slow Burn, Alternate Occupations

It’s become a game, of sorts, to anyone privy to the fact that the pattern exists in the first place: ask Victor out at the beginning of the month, date for however many days, and wait for the end to come and for Victor to say, always: I couldn’t fall in love with you. Let’s break up.

Or, Victor is a retired actor looking for love, and Yuuri happens to be the (un)fortunate soul to unwittingly ask him out at the beginning of the month. Except relationships don’t come with a script, and it’s much harder understanding love than roles.

This is a wonderful and sweet slow burn featuring a lost Victor who’s trying to find something he doesn’t know he’s searching for, and a Yuuri who refuses to follow the “script” Victor seems to unwittingly run his life by. Yuuri takes no shit from anyone and constantly keeps Victor on his toes with how surprising he can be. I love both of these two here and watching them fit into each other’s lives is a real treat!

14.) All Eyes on Me by Kizuna_Auri (Status: Incomplete) – Explicit

Genres: Sex Worker AU (Camming), Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Fluff, Smut

Yuuri, under the username of Eros, is a size queen omega who most certainly does not have an obsession with fellow camboy and legendary silver-haired alpha Aria. Just like Phichit is not the most meddlesome roommate known to man.

In which Yuuri and Victor are both camboys who happen to be fans of each other, and get set up to share their heat/rut for their audiences by their bffs and moderators, Phichit and Chris respectively. It’s surprisingly fluffy with alpha!Victor being a total sweetheart and omega!Yuuri being a shy bean who’s trying his best to keep up his Eros persona.This fic also highlights Yuuri’s insecurities and anxiety in a very realistic way and the difficulties than can come with being a camboy. The smut is intense and there’s plenty more plot on the horizon!

15.) The Promise of the World by pilindiel (Status: Incomplete) – Teen

Genres: Fantasy

When a self-conscious young man is cursed with an old body by a spiteful wizard, his only chance of breaking the spell lies with a self-indulgent yet insecure young wizard and his companions in his legged, walking castle.

The Howl's Moving Castle AU we all secretly wanted.

This is a straight up Howl’s Moving Castle AU!!!. Yuuri fits very naturally into the role of Sophie and Victor is a perfect Howl, but I assume we all knew that was the case already! It’s a very good read and has its own deviations from the source material to keep it feeling fresh.

16.)  (Don’t) Ring the Wedding Bells by cuttlemefish (Status: Complete – 45k) – Explicit

Genres: Alternate Occupations, Social Media, Modern-day Cinderella

As (loosely) inspired by real life, this is the wedding reception AU (you didn’t ask for, but will get) in which Yuuri Katsuki catches the bride’s bouquet and (shortly after) gets smashed at a wedding reception, then dirty dances with his best friend, (sort of) seduces a (hot) platinum-haired trust-fund baby named Viktor, and ends up being hounded for his identity (by said trust-fund baby and his friends and family) on social media.

In which rich!Victor ends up getting woo’d by regular-guy!Yuuri at JJ and Isabella’s wedding reception and pulls out all the stops to find Yuuri again after he disappears. And does so in classic Victor style: as dramatically as possible. Meanwhile Yuuri’s just trying to live his life and forget the whole thing happened because of how embarrassing it was, but when you’ve basically become a meme, things get a little complicated. Still, Victor tries very hard to win Yuuri’s heart and Yuuri eventually finds that he’s very much in love. Naturally, there are some bumps along the way, but these two are made to last. It’s an overall fun AU that has its touching (and sexy) moments too! (May also be a part of a future series?)

17.) Imprisioned by Linisy (Status: Incomplete) – Mature

Genres: Supernatural (Ghosts), Slow Burn

For the past two years, Yuuri has been endlessly tormented by malevolent spirits. Just as he finds himself at the end of his rope, he meets Victor, an enigmatic man who possesses the ability to relieve him.

An AU in which both Yuuri and Victor have powers they don’t quite want, but find that the other might be what they need. Yuuri is a nervous ball of anxiety in this fic because of his ability to see ghosts, and Victor’s own ability leaves him generally isolated from people out of fear of getting too close to them. The whole concept is very unique and I absolutely adore cold(but kind)!Victor gradually warming up to Yuuri. Their interactions are great to read and get me every time!!!

18.) Bottle Me Your Smile by Ncj700 (Status: Incomplete) – Teen

Genres: Magic AU, Apothecary AU

In a tiny village on the edge of the kingdom, Yuuri Katsuki – common as mud Apothecary owner – embarks on a goal to achieve a childhood goal. With the help of the world’s greatest magical, he will achieve it.

A super cute fantasy AU that features Yuuri who’s a talented witch when it comes to potionmaking among other things, but is captivated by the powerful sorcerer Victor. Inspired, Yuuri tries to pursue a path of battlemagic, only to spectacularly fail and return to his home to live a quiet, humble life in his little apothecary. However, as fate would have it, Victor and Yuuri’s paths cross unexpectedly, and I can’t wait to see what adventures will unfold! Lovely world building and characterization.

19.)  His Was Gold by AL_KILLER (Status: Incomplete) – Mature

Genres: Historical AU, Harem AU, Slow Burn, Angst

There were dozens of men and women in Tsar Victor Nikiforov’s harem, all of them attractive, ravishing, and beautiful. They wore provocative clothing, sweet smelling perfumes, and sparkling jewelry designed to catch the eye. All in hopes of being chosen by the Tsar for just one night.

Yuuri was the only one in the harem who didn’t want to be chosen. Yet, Yuuri was the only one the Tsar wanted.

I don’t usually read dark fics because I’m fairly sensitive and fragile, BUT! This one is amazingly well-written and evokes such powerful imagery that grips you and doesn’t let go. There’s an air of mystery here that is partly due to Yuuri’s limited perspective and also due to his unreliable-as-always narration, which the author uses masterfully. Even if you’re not a fan of dark fics, I suggest giving this one a go—it’s worth it. (Warnings for graphic descriptions of violence.)

20.) Story About You by heartsinhay (Status: Incomplete) – Teen

Genres: FanFic, Slow Burn, Humor

After his disastrous Japanese Nationals, Yuuri turns to the only thing that can comfort him: his old fanfic. Halfway across the world, Victor does the same thing.

Just picked up this fic the other day! Yes the “self-insert fic” is super cringey, but of course that’s the point! It’s hilarious to see poor Yuuri despair at his old writing (because, well, relatable) and to be caught off guard by a sudden fan of his works. I wonder who else would be suddenly and intensely interested in the little Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov ship in the figure skating “fandom,” haha! ;)

21.)  23. M. Looking for a challenge. by alykapedia (Status: Incomplete) – Teen*

Genre: Academic AU, Tinder AU, Humor,

“A cute boy with an ass like that says he’s up for a challenge and you send him a math problem?" (Giacometti, 2017).

A (not-so) comprehensive study on the (terrible) mating habits of (beautiful) grad student, Yuuri Katsuki, and (future) Nobel Laureate Viktor Nikiforov D. Sc.

(Or: That one where two physicists fall in love and set off a nuclear reaction. Except not really.)

Another new one that was recommended to me by friends and honestly, I LOVE IT. It’s the academic au you’ve always wanted and never knew you needed! Both Yuuri and Victor are adorable (yet crazy smart) in this and its just so clever in its writing. (*The rating might go up.)

Shameless self promotion:

1.) Celestial Gravitation (Status: Incomplete) – Explicit

Genres: Space AU, Fantasy AU, Action-Adventure, Political, Slow Burn

The Rossiyan Empire controls most of the galaxy. Most, but not all--not yet. The solution to the Emperor's ambitions lies in a rumored ancient weapon hidden on a lost world. The small, peaceful planet of Yamato holds the key to unlocking and utilizing said weapon. To secure their interests, the Emperor and his talented son--Prince Victor--venture to the planet to obtain the key: Prince Yuuri of Yamato. Knowing that any resistance could mean endangering his homeworld, Prince Yuuri and his family agree to the Emperor's terms. But he has foreseen this day coming and he will not go along with their plans as quietly as the Empire may expect him to.

What he hasn't foreseen, however, is the unlikely bond he develops with Prince Victor--a man he should be destined to hate, but finds he cannot.

If only galactic politics and ancient secrets didn't get in the way of love.

(A slow-burn, space-adventure AU in which there is advanced technology as well as magic.)

2.) Tessellation (Status: Incomplete) – Teen

Genres: Retelling, Victor PoV

It started at the banquet--the day Victor's life dramatically changed course. And from there, it was all uphill.

A Victor-POV project that follows the show episodically, for the most part. In other words: the show from Victor's point of view.

[marnathas]

The struggle of actually wanting things that are unlikely

Right, this is a bit of something I've touched a bit in... venting posts not too long ago, but it might feel good to just break it down completely. The whole thought process of what do I actually want, how realistic I think it is, and how being around various hypno and kink communities affects that and my perception of it. I won't pretend this'll be an optimistic thing, but yeah let's do it. Maybe I'm not the only one who feels this way.

Ok, so this is in the context of what I want relationship-wise, and I'm going to skip the idea of play partners altogether, as while that's fun, deep down I want more than that. So let's list things out:

The "Duh" stuff: Get the boring stuff out of the way first and not touch it more. I'm a straight dude, wanting a girl near my own age, who I'm attracted to, yadda yadda yadda, obvious and boring shit, nothing really interesting comes out of it unless you want me to go into what exactly I consider attractive or my "type". This is just here for completeness-sake, and not getting mentioned further. Oh, and the obvious qualifier of is attracted to me as well. That's a small mention but it obviously makes or breaks the entire thing! That part is actually important and where I keep having zero fucking luck. XD

Locality: Yeah, I want someone in my city/area. Long-distance isn't something I want to do, and I really really want cuddling and snuggling and holding someone close and all that nice physical stuff. This is kind of obvious too, but you'll see it makes it much more complicated when I start adding the rest into it.

Hypnosis: Now it starts getting complicated. I am, at the core of it, a hypnofetishist. Hypnosis is the core of my sexuality, and at the moment, I very much doubt I'd feel sexually fulfilled in a relationship that didn't involve hypnosis.

Dom/sub/power exchange: Natural extension of the hypnosis, and being into kink. It took me a fair while to realise, and get comfortable with, but yeah, I want someone subby (at least during play and in the bedroom). To some degree I'd naturally go in that direction anyways now I think. I've sort of accepted that dommy part of me.

Monogamous: Hey, I'm mostly a monogamous person. Not entirely, but close enough that that's the most likely direction I'd go in a relationship. On one hand, that's not a hard qualifier. On the other, it's a lot less prevalent in the kink/hypno communities than it is outside those, so it does narrow things a bit.

The rest of BDSM: This is less important, but again it follows on from the previous things. I'd love someone willing to experiment and explore BDSM outside of hypnosis and power exchange dynamics. But this isn't a fundamental thing I need as much as the previous two, it's more optional, but I do want it.

To summarise: A monogamous subby girl in my area who's into erotic hypnosis and ideally more of kink too.

And maybe some of you reading this are going "That's a pretty brief summary.". Well, as a close friend of mine once bluntly put it; "Marn, you're looking for a girl in Melbourne who's into being hypnotised, that's so hard to find, you're going to have to compromise somewhere." And the unfortunate reality of it is, she's probably right.

So, let's be blunt myself. The hypnosis community is fucking tiny. I know it is, I freaking run the thing in Melbourne so I know exactly how big it actually is (not big). And as of yet my success rate of getting people interested in trying hypnosis who aren't already interested is nil. So it feels like I either have to compromise on long-distance (doesn't feel good), the hypnosis (feels even worse), or find someone and hope to hell they'd then be interested in being zonked (and end up at the previous result if not). It's several things that each narrow down the field a lot individually, and then throwing them together translates to "you're fucked, and not in the hawt way".

That's the short part of how realistic it probably is, which is honestly probably not very. So how on earth has being in the kink/hypno community affected this?

The big thing, is it's opened my eyes up to what exactly I want. My realisations of needing hypnosis and power exchange and being properly interested in kink and dom/sub stuff are only fairly recent. They've come over the course of this year as I've made friends, talked to them about various things, been shown what actual normal kink relationships are like (as opposed to the super heavy stereotypes that... had also been what I'd seen at first). Now, I'm glad I came to these realisations, I'm sure I'd of eventually reached them at some point. Better now, than later on and realising I'm unhappy about something and why. But at the same time it's made me less optimistic of ever finding someone, when I was never that optimistic in the first place.

But, there's also the problem of realising I want all of this. Now, deep down, I probably always did. But not knowing it, or being able to convince yourself you don't want it that badly is a bit of a blessing in of itself. As an example, I spent the last few years prior to this one not bothered much about relationships. I'd of been happy if something happened, but it wasn't on my mind much, so I was relaxed about it all, and not stressing about it, and all of this. And then over this year, things happened to prod me a bit about it, give me faint sparks of hope and desire, and all of a sudden I wanted it, and it was now on my mind and I was stressing because of it.

And once that spark of want or need ignites, it's very very hard to douse. Because you know it's true, and at best you can just ignore it or try and run away from it, but it's there, and it'll always be there. And that's the downside of being in the kink and hypno communities, and realising all these things about myself. Because it's sparked that desire in me for what I want, and that desire may never actually happen. And then as a result it just causes pain and longing, and doubts as to why bother joining and being in them if that's all it's sparking in you. There's the lingering thought that if I never jumped into them, I wouldn't be feeling those wants, and be a bit happier as a result, or if I left maybe I'd be able to supress it all if it's no longer in my face all the time, although I think that's not much of a realistic option anymore either. I'd just be pretending to myself.

Last thing I'll touch on, the actual being in the community, and how that feels. I touched on that a lot more heavily in previous posts, but I do feel somewhat out of place with what I want, believe it or not. Ignoring the local or not bit, and speaking mostly about the online community, I see a lot of people wanting to play around lots, and do a lot of casual stuff, whereas I'm after something more dedicated and serious at this point. Hell, I recently got turned down by someone after talking for a while, because they wanted to play with multiple people as opposed to just me, so it's not just me feeling weird. Currently, I feel like even if I didn't care about the local/physical bit, I'd struggle to find someone within the community because of those reasons.

Hmm, it's just kind of nice to have it all written down and on paper (well, internet). Who knows. Maybe this helps someone else struggling put their feelings into something concrete and understand them. Maybe someone who's been through this before me has some sort of insight they can say. I dunno. I've currently been really lost and struggling with this in particular for a while now. It’s a hard struggle just wanting to be happy, and knowing some of the things you want are just probably never going to happen.