#and hearing the way they talk about current EPs and just feeling kind of... bitter? on their behalf

[rockethorse]

I know EA is nickle-and-diming the Sims community over EVERYTHING these days but one thing that stuck out to me recently as particularly egregious is the concept of the Seasons EP.

When Seasons was released as an EP for Sims 2, it really was revolutionary. The developers had tried to include basic weather functions (e.g. rain, lightning) as part of the game in the base pack, but couldn’t hammer out all the tweaks in time; so they expanded on it with more content, more weather types, temperature effects, Plantsims, NPCs (as annoying as the garden club can be), fishing, and of course, gardening/juicing/fish recipes, then released all of that as a separate expansion pack. It was IMO worth the money and remains one of the “must-have” EPs for TS2.

However.

I think, at this point in the Sims-game development lineup, EA is simply taking advantage of players’ expectations that weather and temperature effects etc. will always be an expansion and will always cost as much as an EP, because I believe weather effects should just be a core aspect of all Sims games moving forward and, if not included in base game, should be patched in later for free, like ocean swimming (TS3) or toddlers (TS4). I do not think simply “add weather to your game!” should be considered enough of a draw to warrant shelling out for an entire EP.

Gardening and fishing were both things that were introduced into TS2 in the Seasons expansion pack that have become part of the expected Sims base-game package. Both systems have been greatly built upon and improved from TS2 (and TS1 in the case of gardening) - there is no “get to dirt!” or “get to rod!” expansion pack that expects you to pay money for the privilege of harvestables or fishing. But I find it particularly frustrating that a life simulation game, which, even if they have been over-focusing on the “wacky” aspects of the game lately, is still at core about being able to replicate the real world, would put something as integral to that experience as WEATHER behind a paywall.

I'm not saying that just because something was introduced in a previous expansion pack means that it should be included in the next generation’s base game or else the devs are being lazy; that’s absurd. Every core game has to be programmed from the ground-up, even if you’re able to recycle some old assets, so it’s not like they can use TS2 weather in TS3 at all. Like, we’ve had pets since TS1, but I don’t expect pets to ever be included in a Sims basegame, because creating the pet system would be just as hard as creating the Sim system. What I’m saying is I don’t think weather effects are one of those aspects that’s too difficult to implement in base game, especially compared to when TS2 Seasons was released. It was already kind of strange that TS3 didn’t introduce weather in basegame given they’d tried so hard to ship weather with TS2. But I imagine the seamless world system made it a lot harder. When the much more streamlined TS4 was announced without any weather, it started to feel more deliberate. EA is taking advantage of the fact that it really WAS revolutionary to introduce it in TS2 and warranted it being its own expansion pack to continue to gatekeep weather effects into its own EP in future gens, even when that becomes easier and easier to implement into basegame. Basically, they’re taking advantage of people’s nostalgia for the TS2 Seasons EP and the good reputation it has/had to allow its fanbase to keep believing that Seasons EPs are SO difficult to produce that they HAVE to be an EP and are therefore worth that sweet sweet EP cash.

The other reason it works is that weather feels good to play with. It really does add another layer of interest, fun, and whimsical realism/immersion to the game. So a lot of Sims players are happy to shell out the money for a Seasons EP and get excited when one is announced because it FEELS like you’re getting a lot, because weather/seasons change the whole feel of the game. It can feel like you’re playing something totally new! But that’s a great deal for EA, because you FEEL like you’re getting a lot when you’re really not getting very much at all in terms of work/budget from them. It’s a little thing that makes a huge difference in the way a game feels, and EA successfully tricks its audience into thinking that impact on gameplay directly correlates with effort/time and therefore worth. Like, swimming, cooking, etc. are also difficult systems to implement but they are also integral to the Sims experience, and IMO, weather is the same way. (Because it’s a life simulator, but weather is DLC??)

That’s not to say that implementing weather in any Sims game is easy. Any new addition to the game takes a lot of collaborative work. I know that weather effects also require a lot of hard work to get finished by the time a base game ships, and I’m honestly not sure the way EA manages Sims game releases could support that any more - Seasons being an EP is probably just as much an excuse to rush the release of a half-finished base game as it is a way to sap more money from its players. But I also feel that the work would, in the long term, be much shorter if new Sims base games were constructed from the ground-up taking weather into consideration. Weather shouldn’t be excluded until you have to retrofit it into the existsing game core system, it should be incorporated into gameplay from the start. But again, that might delay production, so EA would never let that happen lmao. Spend more time/money on making a better game that will have greater playability/longevity and bring in more money over the long term? Why would they ever do that when they can just rush a half-finished game and make those big bucks in the short term? Lmao.

Also, “but I hate weather and I don’t want it in my game -” ideally TS5 or whatever would give you options to play without some or any weather effects. Then you can choose to play as if you didn’t have seasons at all without everyone else having to shell out EP-price for something as fundamental to the Sims game experience as gardening or fishing (or toddlers).

I don’t know what the point of writing this post was. I’m not trying to be negative about the newer Sims games or anything, and of course not the people who enjoy playing them. And I’m sure that the Seasons EPs ARE good and feel fun to play. I’m just questioning the motives behind why these mechanics are STILL, even two game gens after they were initially introduced, considered “EP-only” content and have not been incorporated into our expectations of base-game content, and the only answer I can come up with is “saving and/or gouging money”. I just feel like they know a significant portion of their playerbase aren’t familiar with other game titles and how DLC/paid content is released for them, so they don’t know that they should expect/demand better and basically just buy whatever EA sells them. Ka-ching for EA.

I guess I’m just old man angry at cloud because I miss the Maxis days, where EPs were “here’s everything we were psyched to try and get you before but didn’t have the time/budget/literal CD-ROM space to give it to you, so we really crammed it with as much content as we could manage to finish in time so that you really get the most for your money”, and not “here’s the bare minimum amount of content that we felt we could charge you full EP price for without inciting a riot”. But what else is new?

Basically EA is just cashing in on the idea that people will pay for an expansion pack now because it has been an expansion pack in the past, whether or not the content in that expansion pack still requires the same amount of effort/work/budget that originally required it to be an EP in the first place.

[chalkrevelations]

OK, Word of Honor Ep 24. Spoilers, of course, so scroll away if you haven’t seen it and want to see it unspoiled.

First impression, right out of the gate – Four Seasons Manor is … very pink. Almost as pink as Wen Kexing, himself, in his current get-up. Also, it’s the place where we apparently take in and heal wounded animals, so we’re at the correct next stop on this journey. Aaaaand, then, what we’re going to do in the obligatory mid-episode extended emo-porn scene for this ep is literally sit around in our Fantasy Ancient China underwear, gaze longingly at each other, grasp each other’s hands, practically sit in each other’s laps, and have emotional, tear-filled heart-to-heart talks. We’re really going there. Good on you, show. No, seriously, this is exactly what I’m here for, so thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for delivering what you promised. Additional props for making sure Zhou Zishu looks so very pretty when he cries. Or maybe I should be thanking Zhang Zhehan and his perfect face for that, although I’m sure your lighting and camera people made some small contribution. Maybe. By the way, I notice that even in the sleeping robes, ZZS is wearing two layers. Are you currently playing a Victorian maiden because you’re consumptive and the cold is bothering you more than anyone else, or are you scandalized that your husband might catch a glimpse of ankle before the candles are blown out, my friend? I feel that either is a possibility, but given that you spent the first six eps of the show tits out in your beggar robes, I feel like it’s a little late to be clutching your collar closed.

A few touchpoints with other points of the show in this scene, maybe most prominently – ugh - the way I’m catching shades of Xie Wang and his Awful Yifu in the flashback scene with Zhou Zishu and Prince Jin. The fact that your interpersonal tactics are looking kind of like Awful Yifu’s interpersonal tactics does not fill me with confidence, Prince Jin, with your supposed vulnerability and how only he can help you and the hugs and when can he come and help you. It makes me uneasy, Prince Jin. Am I supposed to be uneasy about this? (Is this a deliberate unease you are creating in me, show?) Because it’s going to turn out that you’re going to take this kid, Prince Jin, this cousin of yours who’s struggling with all his might to support his own sect, who’s vulnerable at just the wrong (right for you, I guess) time, and you’re going to turn him into a murder weapon in pursuit of power and your own personal agenda, and that … that sounds kind of familiar and Awful, Prince Jin. I’m kind of questioning how much you actually care about this kid and how much you’re maybe gaslighting him in this scene. The fact that you were willing to have him sacrifice his entire sect for you, leaving him isolated, with no one in the world except you … I’m getting kind of a familiar creepy vibe off you, Prince Jin.

Also, I did twig that the poem you quoted as the poem that your shared laoshi wrote on the walls of his prison in blood before his body was cast out into the wilderness to be eaten by wild dogs – it’s the same poem you recite as Zhou Zishu rides away from his own bloody cage when he manages to escape Tian Chuang and you in Ep 1, so maybe you realized that keeping him, at that point, was only going to kill him immediately, but I’m not feeling particularly sanguine about the fact that you vowed to get him back. The fact that he’s supposed to be powerless and increasingly vegetative only makes this vow more creepy, because what DO you need want him for, in that case? (Also, did your laoshi write that poem at all? Or was that more gaslighting?)

They’re also pressing hard on the theme of “knowing” in this one, of knowing someone – we’ve always got the bedrock idea of zhiji, the one who knows you, tying Zhou Zishu and Wen Kexing together, but that’s complicated, in ways this ep points up. Zhou Zishu says that the reason his other shidi died tragically is that they didn’t know him at all, but by contrast, he tells WKX that there’s nothing between them that can’t be spoken and then goes all in by revealing all of his deepest, darkest secrets, including that he sees himself as a coward and a deserter. This is in contrast with WKX’s (and A-Xiang’s) current stealth mode of hiding everything and just not talking about it. In this ep, we even see A-Xiang’s decision - for herself and as proxy for WKX’s actions (because these two relationships are the same relationship, at this point) – to say nothing about the latest jianghu big gossip re: the devils of the Ghost Valley, but instead to beat it out of town as fast as she can with her boyfriend before he can hear about it. Because that isn’t going to come back to bite anyone in the ass. A-Xiang, I love you to death, and I realize you’re terrified, but I really need you to get off the mental hamster wheel where this is concerned and THINK.

Anyway, nowhere in Zhou Zishu’s telling of this tale of how he’s the ultimate failure who killed everyone he ever loved because he was naive enough to be taken in by a power-hungry asshole is there the slightest indication that he thinks any of this info will make his shidi/zhiji turn away from him, and indeed, Wen Kexing’s response to further knowing his zhiji is to say, but you have to stop blaming yourself, you must have had your reasons. Even though Wen Kexing won’t, can’t, see that Zhou Zishu’s response to him opening up and letting Zhou Zishu actually know him would be the exact same response. I mean, ffs, my dude. The guy told you last ep that he will help you burn down Zhao Jing. Take a hint. But no, Wen Kexing's response is to have to flee outside where he can Be Alone and mentally and emotionally curl up to protect all the tenderest and most vulnerable places. Also to tootle his xiao throughout the night outside his crush’s window like the worst emo kid ever. Wen Kexing, we are at the place for healing wounded animals. I love you to death, and I realize you’re terrified, but I really need you to get off the mental hamster wheel where this is concerned and THINK. Get there faster.

I thought this one would be shorter than the Ep 23 reax, but it’s not, really, is it? Final random thoughts:

Listen, are we ever going to actually deal with the fact that Wen Kexing is responsible for Zhang Chengling’s entire family and sect being massacred? Because that actually came up again in the ep, and we might want to get a jump on it.

Baby Zhou-zongzhu, who is struggling desperately to keep your sect together while bigger and stronger sects around you try to eat you up, I have a bitter angry grape two turns to your left who might be willing to commiserate with you.

Speaking of AU ideas – I’m sure someone has written this, but I am wary about rummaging too deep into the WoH fic yet, because although I have been spoiled for a few things, I don’t want to be completely spoiled. But has anyone tackled the idea of what it would look like if Wen Kexing had grown up in Four Seasons Manor? Would the guy who clawed his way up to be leader of Ghost Valley be able to give his shixiong enough support that they never have to go to Prince Jin, even if he didn’t have the experience of growing up in Ghost Valley? Would he have followed Zhou Zishu into Tian Chuang with the rest of Four Seasons Manor? And if he did, would Zhou Zishu have made his break for freedom before Wen Kexing died? If he didn't follow into Tian Chuang, what would their separation look like? What would their reunion look like? And what would WKX have been doing in the meantime? (Would there have been illicit meetings, or would ZZS completely cut him off to protect him?)

[shadow-assassin-blix]

It’s a Grey Area

CHAPTER 7

A/N: Okay... so. I kinda sped through a lot of the plot in ep 9, and changed some things obviously. Um. Next chapter will finish up ep 9 but the adventure shall continue. There is a character death. Umm. The dream sequence will make more sense eventually. That’s all for now! Enjoy!

Taglist: @mikeisthricedeceased​ (if you want to be added to list please lemme know)

About an hour had passed, and Poe woke up slowly. He turned his head to look down at Blix who was passed out on his chest. He smiled softly at her, and rubbed the sleep from his eyes, before gingerly trying to move out from under her. He didn’t want to wake her up, so his movements had to be gentle.

Once he was up, he tucked the blanket firmly around her, and let her sleep some more. He made his way into the cockpit where Rey and Finn sat, talking lowly.

He takes his seat in the copilot and checks their position. They were approximately 30 minutes away from Kijimi.

“Blix still asleep?” Rey asked with a small yawn.

“Yeah. She hasn’t been sleeping well, so I try to let her get as much sleep as she can,” Poe explained checking the systems.

Blix was currently dreaming and the dreams… rapidly became confusing and terrifying.

*Dream*

Blix looked around trying to figure out where she was. She was on spaceship but couldn’t figure out what kind. She heard voices speaking.

“We are picking up lifeforms?”

“Where?”

“Scarif”

“That’s impossible, no one could’ve survived the Death Star destroying it,”

“Scarif was only half destroyed. It is possible”

The scenery changed. She saw her mother, at a table, crying. She held a photo in her hand, but she couldn’t see of whom. Her grandfather’s lightsaber sat on the table.

She tried to call out to her but found she couldn’t speak.

The scene changed again, and she was surrounded in darkness.

A gravelly voice began to speak into her mind.

“Ahhh. A Kenobi. I’m quite surprised. He never seemed the type. Why do you fight for a side that has caused you so much pain? You said it yourself… Being a Jedi is dangerous when a Skywalker exists. Join me. Together, my granddaughter and you could create greatness. Such power the two of you would have, all you’d have to do is say yes. Yes, to the Dark side.”

She glared deep into the void and tried fighting the numerous voices that were now filtering into her mind. She heard her family, Poe, and everyone she cared about telling her to say yes.

She clamped her hands over ears, trying to drown them out. She eventually felt herself scream.

A scream that could be heard in the outside world.

Poe hearing her cry, jumped up and ran out to her. She was thrashing in her sleep, trying to fight off something invisible. He began to shout her name.

“Blix! BLIX! C’MON HONEY WAKE UP!” He called out, trying to shake her gently.

She could hear his voice. Hear him trying to wake her up. So, she ran to where it was loudest. More images kept flashing before her eyes, more confusion as to what she was being told, before finally---

She jerked away, her head smashing into Poe’s. She winced atthe throbbing pain in her head from both the hit and what she had seen. She shakily wrapped her arms around him, trying to find comfort.

Poe briefly said ‘ow’ before pulling her into his arms, shushing her lightly as sobs began to rack through her body.

She tried so hard to calm down, but she could feel herself panicking as she remembered more and more. He held onto her the entire time, pulling her in as close as he could. He would press kisses to her face and forehead trying to soothe her.

It took several minutes before her sobs became sniffles and her breathing slowed down. She pulled away, wiping her face hurriedly, looking away. He sat there waiting patiently.

“…he knows… he knows about me… about my lineage… wanted me to join the Dark side… kept… showing me stuff that made no sense I-… I don’t know,” She tried to explain as calmly as she could.

“Shh. Alright. He knows. We knew that that was a possibility. As for the other stuff, we can sort through that piece by piece whenever you’re ready, okay?” He assured wiping away an errant tear.

She nodded her head, her hands reaching for his. She took one of his hands and held it firmly, trying to stop shaking. She held onto him like he was a lifeline. Like he was the only thing keeping her grounded.

Rey called from up that they were about to land, and Poe looked at Blix.

“Are you up for this? It’s perfectly okay if you’re not,” Poe reassured trying make sure she didn’t feel pressured.

“I’m okay,” She whispered standing up slowly.

They got ready for their trek on the freezing planet that they were on and began following Poe to these spice runners.

They wound up having to cut through alleys multiple times for the streets were filled with storm troopers running every which way.

Eventually they run into a group of goons who tried to stop them. Rey knocked out 2 and Blix took out the rest. As the goons laid at their feet, a feminine robotic voice called out to them, telling them to halt.

Poe, Blix noticed, froze. He slowly turned, shoving his hood down to reveal his face.

“Zorii.” He greeted.

Blix looked at him and then at her, slowly realizing who she was. Blix stepped in front of Poe and said, “You harm a hair on his head, and I’ll kill you.”

Her hand hovered over lightsaber, daring this woman to try something.

“Where did you find a Jedi, Poe? Especially one so loyal to you?” She asked curiously, lifting her visor up to take her in.

“She saved my life. We need to see Babu Frik. It’s urgent. Please,” Poe requested trying to stay polite.

Zorii was quiet for several moments before turning and walking away.

Poe followed her without question and Blix stared at him as he willingly chased after her.

“What was that?”” Rey asked stepping up to Blix.

“Poe was a spice runner,” Blix began.

“A spice runner!?” Finn and Rey both exclaimed.

“It was an undercover mission for the Navy. That… was the woman who stabbed him… and he’s just... blindly trusting her,” Blix finished, annoyance in her voice.

Finn and Rey ran to catch up with him as 3PO toddled behind them. Blix remained there staring blankly. BB-8 stayed by her side, beeping at her concernedly. She blinked rapidly trying to refocus and quietly followed after them. When she caught up, they already had 3PO wired up and was preparing to override him.

It was then revealed that this process would lead to 3POs memory being wiped. As they continued to get him ready, Blix noticed that both Poe and Zorii had disappeared. She tried to let it not bother her, as whispers of doubts and distrust rang through her mind.

She stood in the back quietly, waiting for the information to be revealed. As the translations began, she winced as she continued to hear murmurs, the constant barrage of thoughts causing a headache to form. She crossed her arms and sighed heavily when it was revealed that they would have to go to the Death Star to find the Wayfinder.

When the translation was done, Blix stepped outside, the blast of cold air feeling good against the headache that she was currently battling. She closed her eyes, taking in slow deep breaths. She was trying to ease her thoughts as best as she could.  She could feel a bitterness setting into her bones and she was trying her best to not let negativity choke her.

“He loves you, you know,” Came Zorii’s voice as she joined her outside.

Blix looked at her as Zorii stood next to her.

“How do you figure that?” Blix asked tiredly.

“You didn’t see the way he looked at you, when you stepped in front of him to defend him,” Zorii said truthfully. “He never looked at me like that.”

Blix smiled softly at that.

“Are you… are you okay? You seem a little… stressed?” Zorii hesitantly asked, observing Blix’s closed off behaviors.

“Had my brain picked apart and had 10k images and insecurities flash before my eyes, 20 minutes before we ran into you. So, no. Not okay,” Blix muttered, kicking at the snow angrily.

“Don’t… know how to help you with that… but. I can say this… don’t shut him out. Like I said, he loves you. Let him help you,” Zorii concluded, before heading back inside.

Blix sighed heavily, squatting down and taking a handful of snow and pushing it against her face. She felt hot, even in the freezing temperatures. The snow felt amazing against her burning skin, and as she ran a hand over her face to wipe it off, a ringing began in her ear.

She pressed a hand to it, wishing it away, as she applied pressure and wiggled her ear. As she opened her eyes, she saw not snow, but tiled floors. She stood up looking around, not recognizing where she was.

“My master says you’re a Kenobi. Must say… I’m surprised,” Came a feminine voice behind her.

She turned to it, and saw a young girl, with red skin and black tattoos in geometrical patterns on her head.

“My name is Maeve. A grandchild of the great Darth Maul,” She introduced staring at Blix curiously. “Funny. You don’t act like any Jedi I have heard of.”

“Hello Maeve and that’s because I’ve seen the dark side. Hell, I’ve even given it a taste but that’s not the life for me,” Blix explained dully.

Maeve reached forward and grabbed Blix’s arm and suddenly they were back on Kijimi.

“Where are you? C’mon… let’s talk… join us and we’ll release the furbag we capture earlier,” Maeve bribed in a sing-song voice.

“So, Chewie is still alive? Good to know. Now get out of my head before you hurt yourself,” Blix threatened as she threw out mental shield and blocks, pushing Maeve out of her mind.

A moment later she was alone again, no one buzzing about in her mind. She was breathless and numb.

Poe who stepped out to check on her, rushed over to her quickly.

“Baby? Honey? You’re bleeding!” Poe exclaimed gently wiping away the blood that dripped from her nose.

“Chewie’s still alive. Got a lil visit from mini Sith. We can save him,” Blix whispered fighting off the exhaustion she felt.

“Okay. Cool. Great. Can I focus on you?” he asked pulling her into his arms as her knees weakened.

“Guys! Let’s go, we got work to do!” Poe called out picking Blix up bridal style.

Rey, Finn and the droids (including a new one called D-O) came out and they rushed back to the Falcon. Poe laid her down on the bed she was in earlier and he rushed to tell them what she said, as they left the planet. The First Order was nearby, and the rescue had to be quick.

Poe and Finn ran off to rescue him, and Rey stayed behind to protect Blix who was barely awake.

“Hey sis… talk to me. What’s up?” Rey spoke softly to her, grasping her hands into her own.

Blix blinked up at her, opening her mouth to answer but wasn’t quite sure how to start, so she closed it.

Rey then gently pushed Blix to scootch back, laying down next to her.

“I keep seeing… images of Scarif… and several other images that make no sense. A lot of them involve my mother… and only in one of them… can I actually see the person’s face. I think… it was possibly my father? I don’t know. Nothing makes sense,” Blix slowly whispered to Rey.

“Scarif? But… wasn’t it destroyed?” Rey asked just as confused.

“It was partially destroyed. The Death Star wasn’t at full power when it attacked Scarif. It wasn’t until later, when they destroyed Alderaan that it was capable of fully destroying a planet,” Blix explained with a small sigh.

“Is it possible that someone survived? That there may be someone alive on Scarif?” Rey inquired, her brow furrowing in thought.

“Anything’s possible, I just… I don’t want to get my hopes for something that may just be lies,” Blix admitted biting her lip.

Rey laid there thinking, trying to figure out what she could say or do in this moment to comfort her.

“How about this? We finish the fight against the First Order, and the four us of will venture to Scarif together? We’re a team. Family. We’ll figure this out together,” Rey proposed with a smile, gently tapping her head against Blix’s.

Blix nodded, smiling back. It was a good thirty minutes before Poe and Finn returned with Chewie, all of them looking a little worse for wear.

Blix, who was finally feeling a bit better, asked, “What happened to you 3?”

“Uh. Found Chewie. Got caught. Almost killed. Phasma saved us? And is apparently the spy?” Poe explained quickly making his way to the cockpit.

Blix blinked at that info she was given, somewhat stunned, “Okay then.”

“Chewie? You okay bud?” Blix questioned, turning to the Wookie.

He quickly told her; he was fine, just tired before joining Poe in the cockpit.

They began to make their way Kef Bir, hoping that the Falcon would stay in one piece long enough to get them there. It had taken some damage as they escaped Kijimi.

When they landed, Chewie stayed behind to make repairs as they ventured out. They looked around, a slight chill in the air from the harsh breeze that blew across the vast ocean before them. There in the midst of the torrent waves was a section of the Death Star. They stood there, trying to figure out how they were going to get over to it when a voice called out to them.

“You’re the fighters of the Resistance?” Came a powerful female voice from behind them.

They all turned to see a woman leading a group of people, a bow in her hands. She was dressed in a pale-yellow shirt and a fluttery cape to match, with a pair of capris and sandals to top it off. Her armor was light, but that didn’t appear to matter too much for how she held herself. Her stance, and her presentation commanded attention, especially as they looked to her people whose body language showed relaxed confidence.

“My name’s Jannah. Babu Frik told us you were coming. How can we help?” She asked, stepping forward to greet them.  

Poe and Finn stepped forward and began talking with her, leading her and her tribe over to the Falcon. Rey and Blix looked at the Death Star heap and were looking to see if there was a way to it.

Rey spotted a sea skiff and pointed it out to Blix. Blix nodded her head, and they made their way to it. They got on and held on tightly as Rey steered it toward the wreckage. The waves thrashed against the skiff hard, making it fly up at times. After what seemed to be hours but was really only mere minutes they were near the wreckage.

They pull themselves up onto a platform that they could reach and began to carefully maneuver their way inside.

It took some time but soon they were standing in a room with a throne.

“Alright Rey. If he really is your grandfather, this room will only respond to you,” Blix noted as they moved forward.

They looked around and as Rey touched a wall off to the side, a secret door opened. Rey jumped back slightly, not expecting it.

She started to move forward but stopped when she noticed Blix wasn’t following.

“Are you coming?” She asked expectantly.

“I can’t. This… this is your defining moment honey. Whatever you face in there, I can’t help you with. You are about to be presented with a choice. A choice I can’t help you decide. I’ll be here when you get out,” Blix said sagely, knowing that that this was Rey’s moment.

Rey looked scared for a moment but when she looked at Blix, she knew what she was trying to convey. She straightened up, took a deep breath and walked forward.

Blix could sense the dark presence that appeared near Rey and waited patiently. Moments later, the presence was gone, and Rey walked out with the Wayfinder, excited.

“That was terrifying, but I did it!” She exclaimed rushing up to Blix.

Blix laughed softly, “Good job. Now, let’s get out of here. This place gives me the creeps.”

“Not so fast… We have unfinished business,” Came Maeve’s voice from above them.

She jumped down, lightsaber lit and swung hard at Rey. Rey trying to dodge and get her lightsaber out, dropped the Wayfinder. Maeve picked it up and using the Force, she destroyed it.

Rey yelled out in rage and began to fight Maeve harder. Her swings were harsh and powerful, but Maeve was the same. Blix chased after them as they made their way outside. Blix pulled out both of her lightsabers and jumped in between them.

“Enough! Both of you!” Blix yelled trying to stop them both, her lightsabers blocking both of theirs.

Rey stepped back but stood at the ready just in case. Maeve held her lightsaber against Blix’s, pushing as hard as she could to get her to yield.

“Maeve. How old are you?” Blix asked her over the roar of the waves crashing all around them.

“15. Why?” She asked with a snarl.

“15. Why are you fighting an old man’s war? That man does not give a damn about you. Just ask all of his other apprentices. He uses them like they are tissues, and tosses them when they are no longer useful,” She began staring her in the eyes. “If Sidious successfully turned his granddaughter to the Dark Side, what happens to you, hm? Siths only have one apprentice.”

“He wouldn’t. He promised that I would be his successor, that I would have all the power,” Maeve disputed shaking her head.

“Baby girl. All he thinks of is power, and how to get more of it. He would sooner see his bloodline take the throne, than a granddaughter of a Sith that he hated in the end. Listen to me, you know. You know deep down that I’m telling you the truth,” Blix pleaded softly, turning off her lightsaber.

Maeve lower lip trembles slightly, before asking, “What do I do?”

“You got a couple options. One, you leave here, you go be a normal teenager. Two, you go back to Sidious knowing that he will betray you in the end. Or three, you come with us and I’ll be your teacher,” Blix listed out with a sigh.

Maeve snorted, “Let me guess: teach me the ways of the Jedi, and how to be good and pure?”

“No. I’m not a regular Jedi. I’m a Grey. I know what it’s like to be fueled with rage and hate. I know what it’s like to want revenge. I even know what it’s like to take a life. Yet, I also realized that wasn’t the life for me. That being that angry all the time… is exhausting. It tears down your soul. You have a choice, and I hope you choose one that doesn’t involve being an expendable soldier to a man who should’ve died 30 years ago,” Blix spoke truthfully, hoping Maeve would see reason.

Maeve stared at her for a moment, slowly turning her lightsaber off. She bit her lip before asking, “Would I get a cooler lightsaber color?”

Blix chuckled softly at the childlike question and said, “Yeah. We can make you a cooler lightsaber.”

Blix reclipped her lightsabers to her belt and held out her hand to Maeve. Maeve contemplated for a moment, her eyes flicking back and forth between her hand and her face.

She slowly reached out but stopped. She turned around and made her way over to her modified TIE fighter.

Blix sighed in disappointment, thinking she didn’t convince her. Rey stepped forward, placing her hand on Blix’s shoulder, “You tried.”

Blix then noticed that Maeve was now making her way over to them again.

“You needed one of these, right?” Maeve confirmed holding a Wayfinder in her hands.

Blix smiled brightly and said, “Yes. Yes, we do. Let’s go, yeah?”

They used the TIE fighter to get back over to land, the 3 of them squished into one chair. When they landed, Poe and Finn were armed, ready to fight.

“Whoa boys. Chill. It’s just us,” Blix called out as the 3 of them crawled out.

The three of them stood there, soaking wet, and slightly shivering.

Poe gazed at Blix expectantly, looking between her and Maeve.

“This is Maeve. Maeve, this is Poe and Finn. Maeve decided she wanted to be on the winning side, and even gave us her Wayfinder. Be nice. Now, can we get out of here or at the very least, can we go get changed?” Blix introduced quickly, ushering Rey and Maeve to get inside.

“Hon?” Poe called trying to regain her attention.

“Yeah babe?” Blix responded innocently.

“Tell me… do you plan to adopt every Force Sensitive child out there?” He asked somewhat seriously but the smile that was creeping on his face said otherwise.

“Maybe? Is that a problem?” She questioned worriedly.

“Gonna need a bigger house than,” He mumbled, shaking his head.

“Well. My family home is quite large, enough for us to adopt and… have some of our own,” She whispered to him, moving closer to him.

“Oh? Is that so? Good to know,” He whispered back, pressing a small kiss to her lips. “We can discuss the logistics later along with that nightmare you had earlier.”

Blix nodded her head in agreement, and the two of them turned to get inside the Falcon. She quickly moved into one of the more private areas to change clothes when she felt something.

A wave of sadness washed over her. She reached out through the Force, trying to figure out what happened.

She contacted Ben, ‘Whats going on? What just happened?’

Ben’s reply… took a moment… but he slowly told her, ‘My uncle… he… healed my mother…’

It was then she knew why she felt the wave, the disturbance. Luke gave up his life for Leia.

‘We’re on our way.’ Blix stated making her way back out to the center room.

Rey looked at her confused, “What was that? What just happened?”

“Luke. Luke saved Leia,” She began to explain, her voice cracking.

“Okay… but wh-” Rey stopped, realization hitting her.

Poe and Finn looked at the two of them confused, Finn asking, “Isn’t that a good thing?”  

“Jedi can heal. But if the damage is great, then it becomes a life for a life. Luke saved Leia, but it means he gave up his own lifeforce for her. However, that… that doesn’t necessarily mean she’s cured. I’d have to check on her when we get back,” Blix quietly explained as Rey came up to her and hugged her.

Poe nodded his head and made his way to the cockpit starting up the Falcon. Finn walked over and took Rey into his arms, holding her close as she cried.

Maeve stood there quietly before joining Poe up front. He glanced at her briefly but as he and Chewie took off, he turned to her.

He scrutinized her for a moment before informing her, “I hope you know; she’s putting a lot of trust in you. She’s vouching for you, and I hope you don’t let her down by betraying her.”

Maeve nodded her head, “I understand.”

“Do you have any family left, kid?” He asked curiously.

“No. I have no one. Been that way for a couple of years,” She answered truthfully.

“Well. I hope you’re ready for the family you just earned. We’re a little bit crazy but we mean well. May as well get settled, it’s a long way back to base,” He noted as Blix stepped inside.

Blix smiled at him softly and took a seat next to Maeve. This war was nearing its end, the final battle was upon them. They needed to gather their numbers, and hope that the rest of the Republic would join them in the final blow to the First Order.

[vinylexams]

Heavy Heavy Low Low - Courtside Seats to the Greatest Fuck of All Time⁠

⁠ @heavyheavylowlow38 #heavyheavylowlow #hhll #deathwish @deathwishinc⁠ ⁠ I’ve been lucky as hell recently to snag insider info on some killer reissues and this one is no exception. You all already know how much I love HHLL, especially Turtle Nipple…, and through serendipity I got connected with Robbie from the band a few months back. I got to hear about how they are coming back to life after some years focusing on other projects, growing up and growing out, and evolving as musicians and artists in the process. They’ve worked with Twelve Gauge Records to put Courtside Seats on vinyl for the very first time and after they announced it on their platforms and immediately sold it out, they’re pressing another batch that you and the HHLL lovers in your life can and should snag before that pressing sells out, too!⁠ ⁠ What’s even more exciting is that I got to pick Robbie’s brain in typical VE fashion and he’s indulged me with all sorts of info about what they’re up to, whether or not we can expect new music, and some feel-good stories about huffing air duster and ripping shit up in an old warehouse on the California coast. Here it is in its unedited glory, but first…head to the website to pre-order your copy and then head to Robbie’s Indiegogo campaign to learn more about his upcoming short firm that’s scored by Nick from Tera Melos! ⁠https://deathwishinc.com/products/heavy-heavy-low-low-courtside-seats https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/morning-deliveries-short-film#/

INTERVIEW

First and foremost, it’s been a minute since we’ve heard from Heavy Heavy Low Low and then out of nowhere you sprang back to life in 2019. What motivated you all to pick up this project again? I’m not sure what motivated it. We had always been trying to jumpstart the whole thing again for some time and I think that it might have been a case of everyone’s lives slowing down and examining that time with a weird reverence. I can only speak for myself. The boys are all in school or doing their own thing.

I imagine you’ve all been working on different projects since HHLL went on hiatus. Do you have anything that you or the rest of the band have worked on that you’d love us to know about? Danny has gotten pretty popular in the Kendama world. Chris is studying various forms of martial arts. Roo is endlessly going to school and currently scoring independent films. Chip is heavily involved in competitive fishing. I’ve been making short films when the situation and my wallet allow it. We’re all crazy excited about finally owning Courtside Seats on vinyl for the first time. Aside from bringing that album onto the vinyl medium, the pre-order page notes that there’s new artwork, too. What can we expect from that? When we made the CD we weren’t expecting to sell any really.. I did the art and Matthew printed them all at his job. Him and I folded every crease, glued the o-cards and vacuum sealed them all. I think it sold out almost completely at the record release show. We made the same amount of records as we did the original cd (500). The artwork for the original CD pressing was done on sketch paper without any comprehension of what could be done with drawn art and a scanner. Matthew was the computer wizard and back then, young and silly, it was all done on the cuff. The new art is a bit more modern and plays with mortality. Court-side Seats to The Greatest Fuck of All Time being a front seat view of a an ordinary, bumpy ride through life. I’m proud of it. What’s it like to bring back an album from the earliest parts of the band’s career? Do you still identify with the music? It is odd. It was a truly surreal time and place. We were out of our fucking minds. We recorded it in Mountain View, Ca in this giant warehouse that tapered into gutted office spaces. It was a weird white collar tomb on the outskirts of Silicon Valley right before the real tech boom. In the big part of the warehouse where we’d enter there were giant mounds of clothes meant to be donated to some third world country. We’d burrow tunnels in them and do huge dramatic flips from pike to pile. There was an aisle of outdated medical equipment waiting to be sent that we’d stalk through in the dark. It was a strangely magic place. Once you got through the warehouse you’d get to these office stations that had been fashioned into recording studios and that’s where we birthed this thing. We were so misguided. The amount of compressed air that we inhaled should have killed us. I contribute a significant drop in IQ to that shit. Smoking copious amounts of weed from gravity bongs. Recording with a hip hop producer, Deegan. Never a disagreement. It still feels like it was some strange purgatory of youth. I don’t miss it, but it was beautiful. Does this mean there’s hope of having Everything’s Watched, Everyone’s Watching on vinyl sometime, too? So, there was a guy who was very adamant about putting that record out on vinyl. We had a dialogue going for the better part of a year and apparently he had been in contact with Rhino Music and Warner, the two companies that hold the licensing to that album. He had received word that it’d cost an impressive amount of money, but he still wanted to shoulder it. Mind you, this dude didn’t have a label, he just wanted to put this thing out and apparently hadnt thought that all out. Time goes by, I’m waiting, not worrying one way or the other. One day I get a link from a friend, a Christian college website detailing that dude had been arrested for kidnapping and assault. Very sad situation. Dude seemed semi normal. Anyway, that was the last effort I’d seen put into that. I’d love to contribute new art to that release if any go-getter wants to try their luck. I’ve loved everything HHLL put out, but Turtle Nipple is in my top 10 list of favorite albums of all time. What was the writing the recording process for it like and how did the band feel about the new creative directions on it? EWEW was half previously recorded material re-recorded and half material written a year prior, kind of forced into a studio with producers we had no previous rapport with. Those producers/engineers were incredible human beings (RIP Tom Pfaffle! See you in the mindfog) but we were very young punk kids thrown into a foreign land where we had our agents visiting and there were platinum records on the wall and it was a total barrage of privilege and excess. It was beautiful, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t feel soul in that record. Turtle Nipple is a dense trip through time and the record I’m most proud of in our discography. I don’t remember how long we had to record it, I do remember that it was the only time we’d been given to experiment and layer our sensibilities in an environment that catered to them. Sam (Pura) was a perfect conduit to that vibe and time and space and it really came out just how it should have. I think about that album as a 70s exploitation directors filmography.. it veers violently from genre to genre and while most of the stories are fiction and far from personal testimony, theirs a peek into some shared insanity contained throughout. George Cosmatos wandering through a punk club on an edible. I think that that album is our bands true personality. Sam is a member of our band whether he’s playing with us or engineering for us. He gets us. I love the idea of an alternate reality where we had lasted a bit longer and did an album with Steve Albini. He’d probably hate us, but I love those ‘What If?’ Scenarios. I’ll ask the question EVERYONE has been asking so it’s on the record somewhere: Does this mean we can expect new material or a new album soon? Maybe even a tour? We have a new EP in the works. We have some of it recorded with Sam. We’ve posted a couple clips on Instagram. We’re incredibly busy and spread out in our personal lives. Chip in TX, Dan in FL, Roo in OR, Rob and Chris in CA. Adulthood is a bitter, pulpy drink! We are going to be playing again. We won’t be leaving the West Coast. We had our fill of middle America and the travel involved. We have talked to some of our buds from our early days of touring about playing alongside (opening for) them for a limited run in 2020. I think that qualifies as a tour. Also, if anyone wants to fly us to Europe to play a festival in 2020, we’d like that. It’ll be an interesting year. How does it feel to be welcomed back by so many adoring fans who still love your music and are hoping for more after a long hiatus? It’s incredibly humbling. I have heard from people throughout the years about how we had affected them and it was always just strange to me. I’m pretty self deprecating, so I just don’t understand how some shit I wrote could mean much to anyone. My mind is just a shotgun blast of panic. I guess all of ours are? I love my band mates and their talents, though. So I understand the sorta sirens draw to the greater extent. I think they only got to show themselves slightly, too. Weird existence. Give us a piece of band trivia you’ve never shared in an interview before! Gees. There is a step-in part to most 15 passenger vans. It is a black, hard plastic. It meets with where you close the sliding door. When we had no bottles to pee in, we would just piss in ‘the step’. This thing was a den of germicidal activity. Trash and piss I don’t think we ever truly cleaned that thing. What’s odd is that we so rarely got ill on tour. The Step kept us healthy on a steady diet of trash and piss and general scum. Finally, this isn’t a question but the hidden track on Turtle Nipple is a fucking masterpiece and I wanted you to know. Thank you! I think that may have been my idea to add some weird 70s funk into an old track of ours. I think it turned out cool, but I think it betrays our vibe on that album! I wish it’d have devolved into some weird, primitive Altered States shit.

[musicmixtapes]

September 26, 2018 Mix

This week as I was curating the playlist, I got to thinking a lot about the way that our mood at a particular moment affects the music we choose to listen to. Some people say that they pick music the opposite of their mood to counteract a bad day, some choose to delve into that feeling and get in touch with it. I, being the latter, am having a memory ridden, reflective sort of week, so I chose songs that talk about the past a little bit and how they can influence the present/future. I hope you enjoy and find something that suits your mood. 

Spotify Playlist 1. Planet Hunter by Wolf Alice - This song is all about trying to recreate memories of something or with someone that happened awhile back, events which were really positive, but they cannot be rehabilitated. The artist reminds me of if Taylor Swift had not become a pop music sellout and instead taken a dark moody indie music route, and well, the results are stunning because she creates a depth of feeling to the music that most pop cannot do, in my opinion. The part I relate to the most that struck me was the repeated phrase of "I left my mind behind in 2015" which reaches a point where we, as listeners, realize that there are peaks in our lives that we wish to return to, especially at some of our valleys. I love this because it is an upbeat song about feeling out of place in the present, which is really fascinating. 2. St. Paul by Ritchy Mitch & The Coal Miners - Honestly, the piano that tinkles into a wonderful melody/rift in the beginning has to be the most alluring part of this song, which eventually becomes a much bigger feeling as it continues on. There aren't many striking piano-driven songs these days, so I was impressed with that along with the fact that this song clearly disses a saint, yet doesn't seem offensive in the slightest because it is so personal and not an attack on anything but oneself's feelings. The instrumentals and their uncertainty directly correlate with the restlessness of the lyrics and the crunchy sound of the singer's vocals; we love to see a parallel of the sound of the music to the actual meaning behind the song. All the literary techniques used to write a song is the reason why our ears are so attuned to it. 3. Window by Nana Grizol - Going along with the recurring theme of memories and the past, this song is literally a metaphor for a window looking into the past of what something once was. The defining line of this song comes when the singer refers to the window of the past and saying that "we can lift them/and focus on the moments that we lift in" which is a beautiful shift in tone from a reminiscent tune to one that look towards changing for the better and leaving the memories (whether good, bad or ugly) behind for someone else to revolve around. The artist, Nana Grizol, often covers really broad topics, such as negative feelings, the passing of time, moving on in a really succinct way that reaches an audience who needs to hear mantras in a refreshing way. I like to think of this song as a meditative yoga for the ears, please practice daily. 4. Solitary Daughter by Bedouine - I found this song in the most interesting way, so here it is: I was in the Mcnally Jackson bookstore on Prince Street in the city, rifling through the poetry section (as one does) and stumbled upon a book that transcribed songs into poems and included commentary from other writers and from the artists themselves, in a lot of cases. Reading these lyrics as a poem in a book was so thrilling because I often talk a lot about how some songs are really just poetry set to music, and in this case, other people must have thought so too. This piece is incredible in its way of speaking about a woman not needing someone to rely on or anything to sustain her, except for her own self, her home is herself, which is so liberating to both hear and read. I highly recommend reading the lyrics alongside listening. 5. Chemicals by Gregory Alan Isokov - Off of his brand new EP "Dark, Dark, Dark" which was released not but six days ago, is this peaceful and meaningful acoustic folky ballad by a personal favorite of mine. This piece is especially interesting because it plays off of the notion of the different ways in which chemicals can affect a person's body, kind of like the way a person who is really important in one's life can do the same. An image that I love to see showing up in art is the trope of hands trying to reach one another, whether it be in the "Creation of Adam" or an old film. This song plays with this lost hands imagery, in the line "how my hands can't seem to find your hands in the dark", which if I wasn't already in love with the song, sealed the deal for me 100%. Definitely check out the other two tracks off of the EP, they are wonderful as well. 6. Slipped by The National - This week's mix all began with this one sad ballad by my current favorite group and it just built off of this. I cannot express with words, on paper or in person, how much I am tethered to the lyrics of this song. Something about the raw and honest way that this was strung together speaks to a person who is done with being vulnerable to someone who has no intention in showing hidden parts of themselves back. In this narrative song, the speaker is talking to a girl who left the city to go to a more rural area in the South, thus separating the two, and telling how tragic it is to break away from something when he could not be what she wanted him to be. This is a solemn and intense vow to oneself that they will not break down and fall apart because of a love ending, this is another mantra. 7. We're So Lost by Voom - Upon first instinct, I would like to classify this song under tracks I would listen to whilst laying under the stars and thinking about our existence in such a big place or while slow dancing with someone and contemplating what is going on. But now, even in a good mood this song makes sense because no matter how you feel in terms of being in this world, everyone can agree that we have no idea what we're doing most of the times and are mere beings that are floating through time and space, trying to determine why we were placed here in the first place. In some ways, this can be thought of as a slow rock philosophical crisis song, or you can just love it because of the waltz like beauty of it. Your choice. 8. Fuck Love by Lalić - I definitely expected a cynical, bitter, anger driven song when looking at the title, but if I can say any cliché here, it's don't judge a song (book) based on its title (cover). If anything, it's more of a love song, explaining that the speaker has no real reason to be saying things like "fuck love". I think this is interesting because oftentimes, people don't like to be honest with themselves about their emotions, so instead they put up their walls immediately and turn to sarcastic, defensive comments like "i hate everyone" "love suck" or.... "fuck love". Being one of these people, this song opens up that term and exposes us hate poseurs who are very sensitive and truly love to love. The low fi rock sounds with a strong guitar line is nice to hear as well. 9. Blood Bank by Bon Iver - He is so detailed in his description of bags of blood, I have to believe that he actually had a conversation with someone he loved at a blood bank, discussing the differences between people's blood... which is... interesting. It is also vital to this song to understand that the two separate memories he tells about are very closely related because he is explaining the variability of relationships and how to decide whether it is prudent to enter into an affair or to be your own person and indulge in lonely behavior. Of course, it never hurts to be told really emotional things like this with Bon Iver's delicate crooning and layered harmonies that build throughout with such simple complexity, unmatched by other singers in his genre. 10. How It Gets In by Frightened Rabbit ft. Julien Baker - Your first question after listening may very well be "how what gets in?" as my first question was this exact thing. Maybe what gets in is this undeniably wonderful call and response song along with angelic harmonies. But maybe, what gets in, at least in terms of this song, is the literal healing of an open wound and how to properly dress it and make sure it doesn't get infected, or at least that was what was accounted by the singers in question. I interpreted the song to be a recounting and lesson on how love can come into one's life in unexpected places, and how just because there was hurt and pain in the heart for a long time, does not mean it has to stay that way forever. 11. NFWMB by Hozier - This acronym is probably the smartest thing I have experienced in a song's title in a long time: NFWMB is really Nothing Fucks With My Baby, expressed in a classy way, courtesy of the forest prince and love of my life, Andrew Hozier-Byrne. As always, there are several biblical references and apocalyptic death metaphors, which always leaves me feeling very confused and inspired at the same time. The very jazz and blues influenced low key rock song is so different from other love songs that it kind of creates its own category in that sense. It is described by others as "the love song for the end of the world" therefore going back to my feelings of apocalypse, decay and biblical tellings. 12. One In A Million by Hudson Taylor - "You gotta be cruel if you wanna be kind" ok this just hit me way too hard and true. The only way I even discovered this artist is actually because they are opening up for the Hozier concert I am attending tonight and now I am super excited to see them perform as the opening act as well. They remind me of a toned down version of The Kooks in a lot of shared vocals and chord progressions and upbeat instrumentals, except they are a duo hailing from Ireland and they classify themselves a folk band, though the punk/alternative rock influences found in this song are undeniably present. Also present is the message of knowing someone doesn't care about you the way you care about them and needing to be released from that sort of madness... cool. 13. Into The Mystic by Van Morrison - I'm probably not introducing anybody to this song for the first time right now and certainly not the last, but something about the changing of the seasons and the shift of weather from summer to autumn calls out to the mystical and slow dance vibe that this classic and iconic folky rock song inspires. There is absolutely nothing better than the buildup from quiet lull to the horn heavy chorus and interlude that just makes you want to stop and dance wherever you are in your day. Another musical aspect that is highly appreciated by yours truly is the intricate acoustic guitar rift that is taken and shifted into a lot of newer acoustic based songs that we hear all the time these days. The past influences the present and the present is heard in the past all the time, especially in music. 14. Size Of The Moon by Pinegrove - Shifting into a more heavy punk, angst themed style of music is this memory driven song which tells us about a time where the speaker is thinking on the communication issues that occurred in a relationship and how they could have easily been remedied, but there was no effort on the other half's side. From an interpretation of the song, one person smartly said, "It’s really easy to indulge in nostalgia when you’re at a rocky part of a relationship. Suddenly everything appears better than the present, no matter how imperfect those times were." I have to concur with this notion because our perception of the past changes over time and when we miss someone, at times, we look at bad memories and they even start to seem better than being alone... but they are not. 15. Kathleen by Catfish and the Bottlemen - Another song geared towards a relationship not working out the way it's supposed to is from a band that is one of my all time favorites. Their comical British style of lyrics is so appealing to my American way of thinking of things and the heartfelt honesty heard in their songs play along quite nicely with the super power rock style in which they are written. This tune in specifics, is not about the past, but the present and trying to reflect on what is going on in the "now" which is a really complicated thing to try and do, when you are infatuated with someone. The instability is heard not just in the lyrics, but also in the interchanging chords of the electric guitar and the fast paced anxiety ridden drumbeat, which is awesome.. 16. Holland, 1945 by Neutral Milk Hotel - This band is one of the weirdest, coolest ones that only the people who love grating vocals and intense lyrics can truly appreciate to the desired capacity. The whole album, from the 90s, "In The Aeroplane Over The Sea" depicts the story of Anne Frank and the tragedies behind what happened to such an innocent person, along with her youthful romance and how it all devolved in such a short time. A lot of fans of this album have also speculated that there is a second layer of meaning between the World War II references, being that is expresses the kind of tension and tragedy that occurs when you lose some so important in your life, and how the mourning of this loss can only be remedied through appreciating this person afterwards. 17. I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You by Black Kids - Okay, so I'm pretty sure that we can all understand the meaning of the song strictly through the title of this song, negating my opinion before on how you should not judge a song based on its title... well in this case, you can absolutely do that. Not only does it have the best dance tune in the world, but it is also so adorable that the singer's only common connection with the girl he is speaking about is their affinity and adeptness with dancing. Although I definitely have "two left feet" as the singer describes the boyfriend having in this song, I relate to this in terms of music. If there is a person who I really care about, the connection I automatically have is usually in a musical sense, and I am greedy about this relation. We all have something we won't teach someone else's boyfriend/girlfriend if we care about them. 18. 123 by Girlpool - I love this so much. It depicts a relationship where the speaker is asking the partner/SO to tell them everything that is wrong with them in a really sarcastic and aggressive way. It's comical and honest and vulnerable all at once which I have to give a hand for because mixing comedy with painful relationships is something that I always attempt in my writing. The song deals with an interpersonal relationship that is simultaneously “toxic and loving" as described from a contributor on Genius Lyrics, which is a website I often refer to on advice and other commentaries on music I really enjoy. The girl rock power that is disseminated with this track is so strong and empowering, for any gender, so please don't hesitate to sing this when you're feeling angsty about someone. 19. Million Years Ago by Adele - I don't think I ever really talk about my deep appreciation for Adele on here, because I try to branch out from popular artists and focus on more under-appreciated and undiscovered types; but I'm making an exception because although she is one of the most iconic voices of the modern generation, this specific song is so underrated in terms of her best songs. It sounds so french/spanish acoustic ballad inspired and makes me feel like I am transported to a black and white film from the 50s with the sadness and depth that it gives me in such a simple way. It ALSO follows along with my theme of the week, which is looking back in order to look forward, because she sings about the troubles of missing things from the past and dealing with the issues of transforming into a different person. 20. Apocalypse by Cigarettes After Sex - Finally, one of the best mixes of every song I have spoken about previously, is this moody sad love tune by the moodiest, saddest, love bands of the modern generation. There is an unspoken cheesiness of Cigs After Sex songs that for some reason, I am completely enamoured with because I feel like the notion of expressing things in a hyperbolic way has been tossed by the wayside. This group brings back the feeling of needing to tell someone how much they care and not caring about what anyone else thinks, which is important in a world that so often ridicules the ridiculous emotions that love brings about. In particular this song speaks to the feelings of needing to get someone out of a feeling they are trapped in, so to be with them fully, and telling the person they will be there in their lowest and darkest times. 

Hope you enjoyed listening with me, see you next week!

[starspatter]

I think you should do ALL THE ASKS :D

WELL ALL RIGHT THENA - Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed.1) DCAU TimSteph2) ItsuHaru3) Logan x Diana Prince4) Itsuki Koizumi x Kyouya OotoriB - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.*looks at WonderWolf and SuperBats*C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will.BatCat.  Even back when I wasn’t a fan of Batman I remember I read one DCAU comic involving Catwoman, and her character just didn’t appeal to me.D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t.Any Kagepro ships tbh.  Idk I’m just not really invested in the romance of the series.  I prefer them all as friends/platonic.E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what?Ahaha…  I’ve contributed a fair bit of Kagecrack through vids/posts, though I think my favorite are these BTAS crossover edits.Also Kyorange and Skitzo!Kyon for TMoHS.  (Plus the “genderbent cast is the previous generation” theory if that counts?)F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom?Well I’ve been a Pokémon fan since elementary school.  While I no longer watch the show/play the games, I still follow the new generations and RP on occasion.G - Have you ever had an OTP? If so, do you remember your first one? Who was in it?Eeyup.  While I don’t ship too often, when I do I ship HARD.  ItsuHaru was my first real “obsessive” OTP, but I think the honor for the *very* first ship I had goes to… Cody x Ken from Digimon S2, in a sense. *shot* ^^; Idk I was just really focused on the idea of them making up and becoming “friends”. XP Though I also shipped Ken with Kari too bc of the Dark Ocean stuff.  (Also Gary Oak x Molly Hale from Pokémon but that’s a whole other story. >.>; )H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., TV shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)?I’m still mostly a weeb so animu is my go-to, but I’ve been branching out to more Western stuff lately.  (Although when it comes to Kagepro the songs are still the best medium. =3=)I - Has Tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why?Steven Universe.  While I still love the show, hearing about all the toxicity in the fandom really turned me off so I just try to avoid it.J - Name a fandom you didn’t think about until you saw it all over Tumblr. (You don’t have to care about it or follow it; it just has to be something that Tumblr made you aware of.)Again, Steven Universe.  Also Over the Garden Wall and Bojack Horseman (the former of which I still really recommend you see).K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc?I’m also gonna say Sunset Shimmer from Equestria Girls.  She went from being a seemingly one-off villain to a fully redeemed good guy and leader in her own right.  Though she still has her insecurities, it lets her relate to and help others in the same situation to not let those feelings of inadequacy or jealousy overcome them.Also Midna from Twilight Princess.  Her change of heart from servicing her own needs to selfless sacrifice after observing how hard Link tried to save others mirrors my own feelings when I met Link in OoT/MM and watched him grow into a true hero, working to help both the people of Hyrule and Termina even when he had no obligation or was openly blamed for Ganon’s rise to power.L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves. (Characters you’re neutral about are fair game, as are characters you merely dislike. Characters that you absolutely loathe with the fire of ten thousand suns are exempt, as there is no point in giving yourself an aneurysm over a character that you hate.)So I’m not a big fan of Dick Grayson in the DCAU (or any of his animated adaptations aside from Lego Batman; his YJ version being especially egregious) since I see him as rather childish and bad at dealing with conflict, but he’s admittedly a lot better in the tie-in comics, which give him some much needed development as Nightwing (whereas he barely got any screentime in TNBA).  There he acts as a genuine big brother to Tim, and is shown to not be as nearly as bitter at Bruce as the Old Wounds ep would have one believe.  I also like that they highlight Dick’s fondness for music, wherein his musical knowledge actually comes in handy to solve a couple cases.M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.All of the Mekakushi Dan, SOS Brigade, or Host Club tbhN - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice).1) More Kagepro content in general2) More DCAU TimSteph 3) More ItsuHaru

O - Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of?Growing Up - Run River NorthDefinitely a Timmy Todd/TimSteph song now that I think about it.  Especially the lines “I found my way without your help, with a broken family” and “monsters in my head”. ;(P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas).…Tbh I’m really liking the “Legion x Ouran” idea lately. XD *shot*Q - A fandom you’ve abandoned and why.Hm…  I don’t think there are any I’ve really “abandoned”, per se.  Most of them are still there, just not at the forefront anymore.R - Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom?All the relationships in Kagepro *shot*S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)Molly Hale from the third movie is the god of the Pokémon world.  Just… don’t ask lol.T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending?Already answered, but I’ll add a few of my favorites for DCAU TimSteph:1) Tim cuts his own hair after RotJ (or rather just lets it grow long) since he doesn’t trust anyone else with sharp objects around him.  Steph is the first person he allows to trim his hair for him (even though she has no experience with it either), since I imagine him feeling comfortable enough around her that he even falls asleep like Sousuke does with Chidori in Full Metal Panic! The Second Raid.  (For context, he was raised as a soldier from an early age and this is what happened when they tried to take him to a salon.  Played for laughs, but probably an accurate portrayal of people suffering from anxiety/PTSD having to deal with mundane tasks that trigger them.)

2) Similarly, Steph plays piano to help calm Tim down whenever he’s having a panic attack.3) After RotJ Tim refuses to wear red for a long time until Steph knits him a red scarf and tells him it “suits him” bc red is the color of heroes.

As an aside, I also recently like the idea that Logan was at Lex’s party in the DCEU and saw Bruce and Diana together, based on this playlist that I made.  U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.Gonna talk about a few I don’t mention too often nowadays.

1) Link from The Legend of ZeldaLink will forever be my greatest true love.  He’s the first real “hero” I believed in, and he honestly changed my life at one point to actually want to be a better person.  While that faith has faded and I don’t think I can ever reach his example, I still wish I had that kind of courage and kindness - or at least be able to inspire others in the same way he did me.2) Meroko Yui from Full Moon wo SagashiteIf Link was the first (and only) person I ever truly fell in love with, Meroko was the one who taught me what “true love” was in the first place.  I won’t say too much since I still sincerely hope you will check out the series someday, but suffice to say there’s a scene towards the end where she makes a choice that shows how much she has personally grown, and come to understand what it really means to “love” someone wholeheartedly.

3) Gary Oak from PokémonThis is a bit of an odd one, but Gary is a character I related to a lot when I was an adolescent since, of the main series cast, he was the first and one of few to really change his “status quo” by quitting training and deciding to become a researcher instead.  In my eyes it seemed like a shockingly conscious choice to “grow up” in a world where you can ostensibly remain a “child” forever, and I both admired and deplored him for it (especially at that tender transitory age I was going through at the time, where it feels like you’re being forced to “become an adult” whether you want to or not).

V - Which character do you relate to most?Already answered.W - A trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom.Romance in general is really not my thing, so I dislike when it’s the focus/the writers feel the need to pair every character.  I’d rather leave things open-ended most of the time.X - A trope which you are almost certain to love in any fandom.Family/friendship stories + tragic adopted children wanting to be heroesY - What are your secondhand fandoms (i.e., fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)?X-Men, Kingdom Hearts, Dangan Ronpa, Fate/Stay Night, Various Magical Girl series, Various RPG Horror games

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go! (Prompts optional but encouraged.)I feel like I’ve rambled enough already phew. OTL Thanks for asking though. =P

[kanjiklance]

s3 in review. it’s a bit long just warning you

wow. i went in with low expectations bc of s2 and man. this was a good season. like... a lot better than what i was expecting at least

the lion switch wasn’t as bad as i thought it was. like y’all know i was a lil miffed about the lion switches at the end of s2 but i think the dynamics of this new team is pretty good. i’m really happy they showed allura, lance, and keith struggling in their new lions at first (i love keith being like ‘black is a piece of junk wtf man’) bc you know this kind of technology technically shouldn’t be something one can pick up easily. and while the reasoning for the lion switches could have probably been written/developed/explained a bit better, it wasn’t as bad imo as that one article i read recently put it. also shiro replacing allura as the one in the castle while she’s piloting blue though... what an interesting development

i still hate the alternate reality episode so much. i mean lmao it was a chance to bring sven into the show but wtf. allura did show off her weapon for the first time in the ep but it’s still dead to me

the history of voltron???? 

i’m so glad they put it in this season bc it was so interesting... i love how the original paladins’ dynamics still match the current paladins’ dynamics... the green, blue, and yellow paladins being a trio unit... red being the right hand man of black...

they rushed the explanations about the lions and voltron imo. maybe it was bc i couldn’t hear too well or couldn’t comprehend what they were saying fast enough or something... but i guess bc they only had one episode to do it, they just kind of had the paladins understand everything immediately lol. i’m also gagged at the fact that alfor was actually the RED paladin while everyone was like ‘he’s the yellow paladin!!’ 

also allura never piloted in the past?? i was surprised that the original paladins were the only paladins of the lions other than the current group

(also damn i mean this would’ve probably been a lot for the animators to animate but i was a bit surprised the lions’ paint was already chipping back then? i would’ve assumed it would’ve been shiny and new back then and because of time their paint chipped. ah well)

ALSO HAGGAR BEING ZARKON’S WIFE??? i’m gonna scream like i think it was insinuated by ppl before but wow i can’t believe it’s canon. also lotor being haggar’s son then... does he know haggar is his mom or...?

hunk: 

he still didn’t have much development and a lot of his dialogue involved food, but i did notice they did include more scenes and dialogue of him being smart and an engineer compared to s2... progress in the right direction at least. 

that scene of him and lance fighting and backing up the blade of mamora in the first ep tho was probably one of the highlights of s3 tbqh... i was so sad they didn’t have another similar scene the rest of the season

the garrison trio: 

i was so happy they had more scenes together!! like they came to space together and they were a unit back in the garrison... it makes sense that they would usually stick together despite becoming friends with the rest of voltron. 

them going off by themselves and talking about being suspicious of alteans in the alternate reality was so so good

allura: 

HOLY FUCK!! I’M SO HAPPY SHE GOT THE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT SHE NEEDED AND DESERVED!! 

first off, her bayard weapon????? and her being totally kick-ass with it??? my mood was lance when he was being a sniper and watching her. 

and then her finally connecting with blue????? wow i was so happy she’s getting all that she deserves... that scene where she outsmarted lotor was so damn satisfying like... omg. i can’t wait until she can actually punch him through the face

also i’m happy they finally gave her a moment to grieve and mourn... she’s had to put on a face this entire time after losing her father a second time and i’m glad they were able to show her vulnerable. she’s the same age as the other paladins after all apparently, so i’m glad they tried to show that fact more this season

keith:

i’m really happy with his development. i was pretty doubtful of him becoming the leader but i think the show handled it really well. putting my anti-keith-as-black-paladin-feelings aside, i’m glad that they showed keith being doubtful about his leadership abilities and also making mistakes as a leader. i think it’s really realistic and for once i’m looking forward to seeing him develop further as a leader

but to acknowledge the elephant in the room... those klance moments though. like let’s be real... i was like ‘holy fuck are these really happening???’ the scene of them talking in keith’s room... lance always stepping up to comfort keith... lance always having keith’s back............... i mean i’m still here for the headcanon that lance doesn’t actually like keith like that while keith pines but holy fuck man. i’m so gd here for a klance endgame. idk if it’s actually gonna happen but this is really good development regardless

shiro:

ok... i was kind of disappointed with his episode. i thought they were gonna develop him as a person but literally not much happened other than him trying to get back to voltron. 

also they didn’t talk that much about why and how he got recaptured by the galra... hopefully they’ll explain it fully in s4 or in the future bc wtf? i mean keith was insinuating that zarkon set him up but what

and yeah i agree w some other posts i’ve seen that that his comeback was kind of... sudden. i would have personally been fine with him not showing up until s4 again but whatever. i think it would’ve been good to spend the entire season to develop the new team dynamics bc it doesn’t quite make sense for them to automatically continue accepting keith as the leader while shiro is back. i mean the entirety of that one ep was the team valuing shiro’s commands over keith’s but still. but then again i guess we don’t know how long they were really without shiro

also his long hair and facial hair look is so fucking ugly... like every second i was like ‘when tf is he gonna buzz it off. when is he gonna shave. please for the love of god...’

lance:

lance... the best boi... i’m so happy with his development this season

they’re starting to get more into his insecurities and self-doubt and i’m really glad keith is willing to support him in general and in red. the scene of all of them taking turns in the black lion killed me bc you could tell lance was sizing himself up w keith (who was accepted in the end)... and also when blue rejected lance and lance gave her up to allura.... lord almighty.............

also they were completely right about lance stepping up as a leader in his own way. like he’s not the black paladin nor is he a defined leader but it’s telling seeing him step up to comfort and support keith despite him not liking keith as the leader. (also lmao at keith being like ‘i don’t want to be leader. if you want it you can have it [lance]’) even though apparently lance is the youngest child in his family (supposedly), he swallows his pride and accepts keith as leader and allura as having blue without throwing a tantrum or something... augh if only lance knew how valuable he really is to the team

sniper lance??? like the best thing that could have happened to me all day

y’all know i’m gonna reblog so many posts of lance from this season. i love him so much

lotor and his squad:

i’m actually really excited with what they’re doing with lotor’s character. i think it’s going in a good direction by making him a gray morals character and i think he has the potential to be a villain i actually enjoy

i love his squad of generals so much... every single one of them... i’m really excited to see them in the future!!!!

also the azura general (sorry idr any of their names lmao......) and keith... i’m honestly here for her being keith’s sister (NOT his mom... that’d be too much and also she’s a bit young i think).

urg i’m losing steam rn since this post is so gd long but i think that sums it all up. this was a good season and it actually wasn’t a waste of my time. i’m bitter to say this, but i’m excited to see s4 and where the story goes from here!

[kinetic-elaboration]

April 27: Thoughts on 4x09 DNR

[spoiler alert: I didn’t like it and most of what follows is me ripping it to shreds]

Okay, just finished watching 4x09 DNR. And I’ve basically come to the conclusion that I cannot be pleased by this show anymore. I’m sorry, but S4 had a good start that has now devolved into…I’m not going to say worse than or on the level of season 3 but basically into one big nonsense mess. That’s what this episode was, imo, a big old mess.

One thing—and I am being completely literal, this is the ONLY thing I liked in this episode—Miller/Jackson is going to happen and I am on board. I love Miller/Bryan and I always will, and in a way I’m bummed because I’m pretty sure this spells the end of Briller but I can’t be upset because I started writing a Miller/Jackson piece weeks ago and I thought it was a crackship and now I’m like well wow Jackson is definitely queer and he and Miller are gonna hook up it’s completely inevitable COMPLETELY. (If this were an m/f couple I’d say it was out of nowhere and random I admit that but the rules are different for minor character same-sex couples and anyway this was just the initial seed being planted, we’ll see how it goes but so far I’m all in.)

Now for how much I think everything else sucked:

Clarke and Polis

What to say besides I thought this was boring and stupid? First of all, war is boring. War has always been kinda boring but at least in season 1 it was new. But it’s been so fucking constant in every single season and I just cannot care. I have far surpassed the outer limits of fucks I give about martial story lines of any sort. I am not one of those people who has whole shelves of books about WWII in my library okay (and, frankly—are most of the people watching this show that sort of person? I would guess not but what do I know about the cw core audience?). And war story lines are even more dumb now when, much as I disagree with her a lot, you have Clarke there literally spelling it out in great big shiny colorful letters for everyone to see that the radiation is coming in less than a week dumbnuts, put aside the squabbling for like five seconds for the love of all things!!!!!!! I mean she’s not wrong. At one point I just thought, hey, how about everyone who thinks war is a good idea just goes out and fucking slaughters each other—try to get it done in like 2-3 days please, tops—and then everyone who’s smart enough to not want to slaughter each other can live in the bunker. Win-win.

Speaking of Clarke, though, I’ve said it before that I have a supremely complicated relationship with her character but she is at Peak Insufferable Levels when she gets all up her own ass about how she’s the only one to be able to solve everyone’s problems. This was something Lxa cultivated in her—not that I blame L entirely because I think we see the seeds in S1, I mean there was something to cultivate in the first place—and she’s gotten a bit better over S3-S4 but every now and then that side of her that once said “you’re the Chancellor but I’m in charge,” to her own mother, at the ripe old age of barely-18, rears its ugly face and this was one of those episodes. I get that smart-girl frustration of seeing everyone else being So Fucking Dumb and just wanting to knock some heads together until the sense floats up to the top but still the outstanding hubris of her wanting to become the Commander I mean !!!!!!!!!!!!! Which she like apparently off-screen convinced Gaia to go along with because it was only Roan that stopped the whole thing? Oh Roan. You’re often quite boring and your voice annoys me but every now and then you have your moments.

I will say, I did like the way Abby said “WITH SCIENCE!” though.

I wouldn’t say the fight to the death is the worst idea anyone’s ever had but four complaints:

1.      The radiation is coming in literally 6 days MUST WE WASTE TIME WITH THIS SHIT?

2.      Obviously there are counter-arguments to this and I’m necessarily biased but imo Arkadians researched the bunker (Jaha), found the bunker (Jaha et. al.), and figured out how to open the bunker (Monty) so, like—shouldn’t they automatically get some of the spots? They can’t possibly have many people left after the multiple massacres their original 2k population has taken over the last year or so--the clans can have their 12-way brawl for the rest of the space after Arkadia has taken what’s already theirs.

3.      Next episode is going to be so boring I already want to weep,

4.      Is this the fucking Hunger Games now? Just like I didn’t sing up to watch Game of Thrones, I didn’t sing up for the Hunger Games either. JFC

 Raven, Murphy, and Emori

I liked Murphy and Emori both in this episode. I thought Murphy had some good lines and there was a lot to like in his last scene with Raven. And I liked that Emori’s story in this ep was about learning to trust the Sky People. That was a nice little narrative flourish.

But the rest…I don’t know. I just don’t know. I liked how Raven’s story line was thematically consistent with the DNR kids’ story line, how she is, in fact, another person who is literally saying Do Not Resuscitate, except that her case is more…it’s closer to how these issues really play out in real life because she is, personally, because of something in her actual physical body, not outside of herself, going to die, and now she’s preparing to do it on her own terms. I mean it was a little on the nose but they earned that because they’ve been building this Raven story for a while.

I couldn’t really get into it, though. I can’t explain why I couldn’t. Maybe it’s that Becca’s lab has been so off-putting to me this entire season. Maybe it’s because I have such a deep hatred of all of this going into space bullshit even if I’m a little more open to the possibility of just blasting off the rocket the one time for a suicide mission. (It’s a little less totally-out-of-left-field-versus-previous-seasons utterly-batshit-implausible and more along the lines of within-suspendable-disbelief ranges.) Maybe it’s just bad luck on my part that it’s not resonating with me even though there’s nothing wrong with it. I want to like the concept of a fucked up code getting into someone’s brain and setting up a home there and messing with them, but something that I can’t pinpoint in the execution is just off for me, like a barrier between something I feel I would enjoy and my actual enjoyment.

 DNR

THE DISAPPOINTMENT OF THE CENTURY. Heavens me this was the MOST SHALLOW TREATMENT OF SOMETHING I’M INTERESTED IN THAT I HAVE EVER COME ACROSS. I demand my fucking money back. (IDK what money in particular...my internet bill I guess? My law school tuition? The monetary equivalent of all the time I’ve spent thinking about The 100 or at least this story line? Something.) I probably put more effort into my rambly Jasper meta than they writers did in writing this episode or possibly this entire arc. If I ever need evidence for my contention that this show is shallow af and the PTB don’t know how to write philosophical or even meaningful discussions lasting more than a dozen lines, I’m going to point to this episode.

First, it bothered me that no one thought to ask themselves or each other: hey, why do we want to take these people with us? Like hear me out because maybe it is or should be obvious, but I think this is the time to ask that question. Why do we want to force people to live? Because we do, we force people to live all the time. You can be very simple about it and just say “because all life is good and all death is bad and suicide in particular is bad and our moral obligation as people/the state’s moral obligation as the guardian of the people is to ensure that everyone stays alive even against their own will absolutely no matter what.” I mean that’s a legit position, even if I think it’s a bit simplistic.

You could say that you want them to live because it’s all hands on deck to keep humanity itself alive—which is the argument Jaha hints at initially in his conversation with Jasper, and exactly the type of argument the DNR group could most easily and most fairly reject. I’m always 10000000% on board for discussion of the Ark or comparisons of the current situation to the Ark but we get only a tiny itty bitty hint at this, instead of a long discussion. (TALKING’S BORING RIGHT WHERE ARE THE SWORDS.) (I’m sorry to anyone who actually reads this; I just can’t contain my bitterness.)

You could say that a desire to kill oneself is generally a symptom, not a disease, and a general, moral, human compassion obligates us to interrogate that suicidal urge when we see it in others, and would especially so obligate us if we saw that urge in a large group of people such as the DNR group. Which is pretty much my position but if that’s the position anyone on the outside of the door were taking they’d probably not want to solve the problem by blowing up the door and taking everyone prisoner so.

That Jasper is literally using the phrase DNR—which generally applies when the person in question can only be saved by some kind of extreme and immediate measure—should have prompted some sort of discussion. Another term for DNR is “allow natural death.” To use that phrase is, first, to say that the bunker is a life-saving measure akin to CPR, something that you do at the last moment to stave off what would otherwise be your (natural) time to die; second, it is to say that Jasper and his followers view the bunker as, in some sense, unnatural (not a way to live, as Jasper puts it); and third, it is to say that they consider themselves right on the verge of death--as in, this is an emergency situation. I just…I’m so frustrated that they used that phrase, they made it the title of the episode, they put it forefront in the trailer, and then it’s like…never dealt with!!!!! There’s so much material there!!!! Whoops sorry guess we gotta budget in about ½ the running time for fight scenes and talk of war lol. Wherever are my priorities???

All we really got was a knee-jerk “life is good, survival is good, you kids are bad” from Jaha and friends.

Second—it only gets worse from there because then, as soon as Bellamy says, “Hey, um, maybe it’s kinda understandable what they’re doing??” everyone just throws up their hands and goes “Hey, you’re right. I guess we’ll just let them die.” Like what!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There aren’t enough exclamation marks in the fucking universe. I’m sorry but that’s literally just straight up immoral. THESE CHILDREN ARE SUICIDAL. Does that not fucking bother you, any of you??? I’m disgusted. I’m even more disgusted that the narrative seemed to stand with the death squad, like it allowed only the rational arguments to stand without interrogating at all the bitter pain beneath them.

Third, and this is a smaller point but… Bellamy’s the male lead, and he was definitely flirting with Jasper’s philosophy a mere episode ago. Now he’s all back on the survival train. Just like that. I know we don’t have time to go deep into everyone’s head here but Bellamy’s in such an interesting place—I think he’s one of the few people who is really, honestly torn between Team Survival and Team Fuck It—and not only is he a character with a unique vantage point but there is literally only one character even arguably more important than him so if we’re going to give a few extra minutes to ANYONE shouldn’t it be him? Does he not deserve that? He got like 2 lines and 3 minutes of screen time this week and that was pathetic.

Also—not be shallow—but—I’m gonna indulge in a bit of supremely bitter ranting here. As I’ve said repeatedly, I hate (TRULY TRULY HATE) Monty/Harper. So the fact that 80% of Monty’s story was about Harper and maybe 20% if I’m super generous, was about Jasper pisses me off. Monty being all “Harper you’re the only thing more beautiful than the hydroponic farms” made me want to vomit. Monty’s “I love you” made me literally scream NO YOU DON’T YOU CHILD at the screen. Look, I’ve started a relationship with a random hook up in real life, and it’s a sham, I can speak from deeply personal experience, this relationship is a sham. And that Monty’s emotion is all being shoved into this Random Het Nonsense with the minorest of minor delinquents who has pretty much no personality and has only had the screen time she’s had this season because she had the good luck to be shoved into a ““““““romance”””””” with a main while actual main character since the fucking pilot Jasper has been shafted at LITERALLY EVERY TURN is just SO MADDENING I MIGHT LITERALLY SCREAM. (Yes I consider Harper and Jasper to be zero sum. It’s one or the other for screen time and Monty’s heart and I know where my allegiances lie.)

I don’t feel much of anything about Monty staying behind. Like… I probably should, but by that point in the story I was just exhausted with disappointment and counting down the minutes until it was over. On the one hand, what other choice did he really have, narratively? Like he wasn’t going to leave the most important people in his life behind. But then on the other hand, I can’t help but think it was sort of dumb of him. This is just about as high stakes as it gets. And he’s going to die for what, like, to make a point? To be nice? Hmmmm, suspicious. Further, and to go along with my rant above, I was pretty pissed off that all of his emotion in his last scene was reserved for Harper and he and Jasper just got a bro moment LIKE WHAT THE FUCK. I guess on the upside, if Miller/Bryan is any indication, we’re probably supposed to take from that that they’re in love (get it? Because Miller and Bryan bro-hugged in S3? I’m still not over that btw).

Finally, and more seriously… I don’t believe that Monty has really engaged with his friends’ arguments. Am I supposed to think he somehow did off screen and that’s why he’s there? I think not, first because Monty is SO HARDCORE on Team Survival that that would be a massive mental undertaking and one we should really see at least part of on screen, and second, and more importantly, because he literally says he’s just there to help them out when they change their minds, lol. He’s loyal but he hasn’t learned anything.

I did like the Bellamy/Jasper hug. I was waiting for it, I was literally saying “hug him, hug him, Jasper loves hugs, he’ll love this so much” the entire time they were talking. And then they did hug and Jasper DID obviously love it so much and it was sweet. Unrequited Bellamy/Jasper hero-worship-crush (head) canon (further) confirmed.

A few other little things I did like: the call back to Mt. Weather (especially because it came in the form of Monty pointing out that Jasper’s good at this barricading himself in shit, but also because it invited the viewer to remember the Mt. Weather situation and maybe do what I’m not doing right now and dig deeper into the comparison); the shot of Wells in the door that Jaha sees. Both of these things were examples of this show’s occasional ability to be Deep but tbh these moments of depth are always just moments and the general shallowness of everything surrounding them almost makes me think they just luck into these gems.

 Octavia

Oh yeah and Octavia was in this too. Almost forgot. I still don’t buy her and Ilian for a hot second. I did have a literal second of thinking Ilian COULD have been interesting, but heavy emphasis on could: if he’d been introduced as a farmer and we got some good farm-society world-building, it would have been nice as something actually different in Grounder society for once. But…first Ilian was too boring at the beginning and between that, and the completely unforgivable burning of Arkadia, I’m never going to like him. And second, he’s apparently a warrior too, quelle surprise, so I guess that “oh look something different” thing I was talking about is actually a no-go.

Similarly, I’d like to see Octavia try out a farmer identity. But for more than two scenes lol. She could have been interesting. She could have had an interesting arc. But it’s all just too little too late for me at this point. They clearly don’t know what to do with her. TBH if we’re going to continue insisting that main/important characters need to die to give the story weight (lol this story’s problems are way bigger than “not enough deaths” I mean…. That’s so ludicrous I can’t even find the words)…maybe it’s her time to go. Just a suggestion.