#and he's kinda hamming it up too which is so fuckin funny

[crumb]

john hawkes in night of the scarecrow is THE toxic bisexual drunk. he vandalizes a dude's cornfield awakening a cursed scarecrow warlock dude, he harasses the unlikable protagonists, caresses a dude's face as a way to?? intimidate??? bully??? idek. he gets his hands on some tits but then just walks away to get another beer and comes back to find her with scarecrow corn husk vines coming out of her tits and watches as they drag her into the ground. then he's killed by the scarecrow warlock who emerges like CGI goop from some hay bales he's sitting on to recover from the tiddy/vine/hook-up ordeal. And he has arguably the best close-ups in the film as well as the best scene transition. best character in the film and he;s dead by the 45 min mark. I'm gonna scream

[user211201]

I Was Just Being Ironic, Bro

--- Original author: realhankmccoy ---

That’s how it started, you see. With irony. With a joke. A joke Daniel made about grabbing em by the pussy. Jared said it was kinda offensive, man. Daniel doubled down, saying he was just being ironic, explaining how he’d never be that misogynist, obviously.

Jared did end up laughing, just not wanting to be rude more than anything. I mean, they were friends and obviously Daniel didn’t swing that way.

But one joke turned into another joke, days later. And another. And the ways things were spiraling, soon the two roommates – they lived in a shared house of four – were joking about it all the time. Pretending to be alt-right. Pretending because it was fun, it was funny, it was something to do, a way to make fun of guys who acted like that while simultaneously getting to feel what it was like to be that sort of guy themselves.

They were pretty regular guys. But it became funny to pretend they were jock studs, too. “I dare you to work out, bro,” Daniel goes one night. “I fucking dare you. If you can do 100 pushups consecutively, I’ll even let you grab me by the pussy,” Daniel goes, grabbing his own cock and balls through his shorts for emphasis, which wasn’t hard since he was freeballing that night.

“Oh yeah?” Jared said, “Watch this, bro.” He only made it to fifteen, laughing, but they kept up their dare. Jared was building some pipes on those arms. And months later, after a few shots of whiskey, he hit one hundred pushups for the first time in his life.

“Dude, if I’m gonna grab you by the pussy, I want to see you wearing those Old Glory shorts.” Yeah, the shorts Daniel bought to be ironic. Jared knew those.

And he did grab Daniel’s cock and balls through the shorts, holding onto them tight, laughing, squeezing. “Ouch, dude, that fuckin’ hurts,” Daniel said. It was hilarious. They were so drunk.

But then it was Jared’s turn to dare Daniel, saying he should get as pumped as he was, that is if he could ever catch up. “I’m working on 120 pushups, bro, and look at you. Fuckin’ puny. Little Daniel. I dare you, bro. You can grab me by the pussy if you ever catch up.”

Daniel wasn’t one to back down from a challenge. And soon his guns were just as big, if not bigger. Their jokes were becoming almost infamous in the house.

“Drop and give me 20, Daniel. ‘Merica!” “Come on, tiny hands, let’s see if you can beat me at arm-wrestling.” “Aww, so hot, bro. You and that MAGA cap. I bet you’ll be able to score all the pussy you want if you wear that out to the bars.” “Lock her up, lock her up!” Daniel said to Jared when he was drunk off his ass, trying to tie him to his chair with rope. The guys loved horsing around.

Jared and Daniel both had American flag shorts, now. They had flag tank tops, t-shirts, hats, even MAGA caps. They were getting to be pretty buff guys. Acting like right-wing jockbros had been ironic, but now they looked pretty convincing in the part after working out so much and buying the gear they bought. Vocal inflections, ironic at first, now sounded more and more legit as they got their impersonations down pat. Sometimes they’d go out and hit the bars, ham it up, see who they fooled, which was pretty much everybody.

They were good at this. It was fucking funny and fun as hell.

Drunk one night, Daniel found himself confessing to Jared that he thinks it’s really hot when Jared acts like a MAGA guy. “Yeah bro?” Jared said, “I think it’s hot too. Makes me feel hot. It’s like everything I secretly want to be when I’m like this.”

“Yeah bro?” Daniel said, “I think that’s so fucking hot, man. You look great as one of those guys. I almost feel like I could grab you by the pussy for real, bro.”

“Why don’t you do it then, bro,” Jared said, “When we’re home. I fucking dare you, bro. Get those tiny hands on this big cock of mine. Bet you don’t have the balls.”

But turned out Daniel did have the balls, and when he took Jared’s cock in his mouth behind that locked bedroom door, all Jared could say was, “Fuck, bro. MAGA, bro. That’s so fuckin’ hot, bro,” before he came, five minutes later, flooding Daniel’s mouth with white hot cum.

[accidentally-in-fictional-love]

Things I Noticed While Writing Light The Fuse: Part 4, Episode 2

Time for episode 2!

Two weeks ago according to Ethan later on, since he probably didn't waste too much time in Detroit, he's wearing the same outfit after all so he more than likely bailed that night

Ethan really is a sweet pea and I love him but god do I love writing that temper of his, I don't do it often enough yet between all the fun and smut and heartbreak and angst

I went to rewatch this bit for any details he might've filled in but nope, whole page is empty ;w; thanks Reprisal. Also laughing at Ethan literally leaving everything behind apart from this outfit and a single bar of chocolate. I love the detail that Horn makes its way into pretty much every title, it's a reoccurring bit

Again I was so not paying attention to anything when Johnson wasn't on screen that first watch that I completely missed that she gave him this front and center 🙃 what a jackass I am

I need to know what this means. It was never brought up again, not even when they met up. My guess is that it's supposed to be like 'look at this and feel reassured that I'll get you out' but the take that it could also mean 'show this to someone and they'll help you' is also interesting, but it's probably the former since everyone thinks she's dead and I doubt she has any friends left considering they think she started a war oop

He will be getting rid of this eventually and that's a promise

This is unforgiveable. It's also funny to me that both Ethan and Matty cry but Johnson, the man played by David 'He's Workin' Those Eyes' Dastmalchian, doesn't. Do you know how hard it is to write scenes where he's sad but doesn't cry cause he's Johnson? Extremely.

It's been pointed out before but Johnson is just straight up gone and Ethan is in his place lol like at least get him a stand-in if David had to be gone for the far shots

I still cannot believe that Bash made me imagine this. This line is so fuckin wild

Even Matty got worried when Bash started doing his thing he was not ready for a fight here

lmao Gary in his sunglasses trying to look intimidating, imagine Johnson trying that, it's not working for you bud

This one's a double, cause not only does this say that Doris taught Ethan how to come down from his panic attacks (which makes me cry) but it's also the super rare time that any amount of time is mentioned. It was so incredibly difficult to work out my timeline for this show that I had to grab the one single date shown (ep4) and move entirely around that based on what everyone says, when the boys go on a run since it takes 11 days (ep5), and when their outfits change

This isn't a detail or anything I just wanna say I love writing their scenes since it lets me really get into Ethan's head while he's hearing her actively push away everything he's saying. I kinda made him way more self-aware in my fic because of that, but having him be aware but still trusting her enough to rationalize her actions in real-time is a lot more fun to me than blind trust

I love this line so much lmao there's so many lines I passed over because I watched without the subs, like I just thought Bru was eating the ham pie like that because he liked it but nope he gets them 'runny' so he can 😂 I also like the detail how they had Ethan order four, so either one is for Johnson or Matty's having two lol

That's the one thing that lets me down in this show, Johnson keeps disappearing for no reason ;w; he should always be by Matty's side even without me knowing they're dating so let's just imagine he ducked inside to grab more drinks or he's using the bathroom and he'll just be right back, hence the fourth pie 👍

Can everyone please stop hitting Matty 😭

Matty just going 'mm' and then getting back to eating lmao he's so fuckin cute he doesn't even care, there's also no reason for him to be sitting on the table and hunched over his food like a gremlin he's gunna make me kiss him what who said that

Well I reached my limit trying to talk about their last scene so I guess I'll see you tomorrow to wrap up ep2, who would've thought such a short amount of scenes would need two posts? 💛💙

[trashytummiez]

Dabi gets a bloated belly from eating a lot of food. Toga pops in unannounced and notices how big his stomach has gotten. Being who she is, she asks Dabi if she can play with his belly. He was resistant at first, but he also finds it funny how giddy she gets about seeing him with a bloated middle. So Dabi let’s Toga indulge, and eventually decides to ham her up by telling her he might eat Toga next.

Warning: contains belly kink bloating burps indigestion tummy rubs

"Ungh...fffffuck I'm so full..." Dabi moaned. He was sitting on the couch in the league hideouts 'lounge' rubbing his stomach uncomfortably with one hand. His usually lean middle was bulging out against his already ill-fitting shirt making his shirt ride up and expose some of his pale tummy right near his belly button which was still covered by his shirt.

Dabi's belly gave a sickly groan which made the young scarred villain grimace uncomfortably. Until he brought a fist to his mouth and gave a really big closed mouth burp that rumbled hard in his mouth for a few seconds and made his cheeks puff out. He blew the gas off to the side and patted his belly letting out a smaller burp he didn't bother to stifle.

"Hiyyyya Dabiiii~" sang Toga out of nowhere.

Dabi's eyes widened slightly from the unexpected pop-in of the crazed knife wilder. "...Whadduya want," Dabi grumbled not catching the way Toga's own eyes went wide as she awed at the sight in front of her.

"Wooooow Dabi your tummy is so big!" she marveled. Toga unexpectedly reached over and pushed her hand into Dabi's belly like an unexpected tummy inspection. "And it's so hard too!"

Dabi winced and gave another thick closed mouth burp from the unexpected "inspection" of his belly then quickly swatted Toga's hand away. "Yeah that tends to happen when you eat too much idiot..."

Toga giggled and looked up at the less excitable villain eagerly. "Oooh! Can I play with your tummy? Can I pretty pleaaaase?"

"Fuck off," Dabi said dismissively and continued rubbing his bloated stomach to help settle it.

"C'moooooon! I'll be gentle! Pinky promise! But your tummy just looks so cute like this I can't just not play with it! Pleasepleasepleaaaaase????" Toga practically begged.

Dabi was about to tell her to scram or get burnt but the way she looked so eagerly and giddy at the sight of his belly so expanded wasn't usually like Toga. She was always childish but often in more of a ditzy homicidal way. This felt less maniacal and more just genuine childish giddiness.

So despite himself Dabi rolled his eyes and leaned back. "Fuck it. Fine but if you get too rough and make me puke I'll burn you to the bone got it?"

The squeal Toga made practically made Dabi's ears ring. She very eagerly hopped onto the couch next to Dabi and practically hugged his belly. She rested her head against his bulging stomach and listened to it burble while she eagerly started to rub Dabi's belly for him.

Dabi blinked in surprise but the way she rubbed her hand in broad circles across his bare and bloated stomach actually felt quite nice. The scarred villain couldn't help but groan a little as he felt Toga's fingers knead into his tight skin.

"Unnnf...that's...not bad," Dabi admitted almost melting into Toga's touch. "...Watch the stitches..." he thought to say.

"I know," she said with a contented sigh as Dabi's stomach gave a thick groan in her ear. "Wow your tummy sounds so angry right now..."

Dabi brought up a fist again and burped in his mouth rather loudly. It sounded even harsher than usual and he followed it up with another lengthy closed mouth burp that pushed out of him for nearly four seconds. He groaned and blew the gas off to the side to avoid blowing it in Toga's direction. Then he patted the side of his belly and gave another smaller burp. "Ungh...feels angry too..."

"Oooh! I got an idea!" Toga replied and sat up to hold Dabi's tummy with both hands. She lifted Dabi's shirt higher and started to blush at the sight of his shallow belly button. But then Toga pushed both of her palms just above his navel and really dug her thumbs into his tight belly.

Dabi was about to tell her to not be so damn rough but the pressure she was applying forced up a larger gas bubble than usual. She weighed down on his tummy so hard that Dabi couldn't help but throw his head back and let out a massive burp that he couldn't hold in if he tried. It was harsh and powerful echoing into the room and pushing for a few seconds.

Toga giggled and gave Dabi's tummy a few pats. "There we go! Doesn't your tummy feel better after that?"

Dabi thumped his chest and let out another long throaty burp he didn't bother holding in and moaned afterwards. "...Ffffuck..." was all he said but he at least sounded relieved to get that out.

Toga took that as an acknowledgement that he felt better. So she once again turned to rubbing and prodding Dabi's belly. She even listened to it again and giggled. "Ohh yeah. Your tummy definitely sounds happier than it did a second ago!"

"Feels happier too," Dabi moaned.

Toga giggled and just continued to rub Dabi's burgeoning stomach. He very quickly forgot about her stupid comment and huffed contently. His inhumanly warm breath wafted down over Toga almost like a bedside heater.

She rested her head against his belly again and sighed at how nice and warm it felt. Her blush returned anew when she listened to the digestive bubbling taking place inside of the organ. "I bet it'd be real nice'n warm in your tummy. Like a big warm slimy sleeping bag!"

Seeing how eager and giddy Toga was playing with his belly Dabi couldn't help but give the faintest of smirks. "Yeah? Well how 'bout I swallow you whole and let you see for yourself?" Dabi looked Toga over and licked his lips hungrily and in a showy way. "...You did just help make a whole helluva lotta extra room in my gut..."

"Ooooooooh! Vore party! Can I invite Shiggy???" Toga asked excitedly and with a notable blush on her pale cheeks.

The predatory look in Dabi's eyes quickly gave way to the usual look of boredom at her response.

"Jeez...the boss would be into that kinda shit too. Seriously you guys and your fuckin' vore..."

[abundanceofnots]

a fic with a them and a kitten 🐈‍⬛❤

DANGER!

His instinct wakes him up, the familiar voice inside his head screaming at him to abandon the peaceful slumber and take cover.

Mickey’s eyes flip open to the sight of two beastly orange beams watching him from the darkness, and he scrambles back on the bed in a panic, elbowing Ian right in the back in the process.

“Not in the mood, Mick,” he murmurs sleepily from his side.

With a somewhat self-soothing litany of fuck fuck fuck fuck, Mickey leans over to flick on the table lamp on his nightstand. The creature isn’t on the bed anymore, so it’s probably not a complete idiot with suicidal tendencies (Creeping up on a guy like that, who fuckin’ does that? Only killers and morons, that’s who.), and when Mickey peeks over the edge of the mattress, he finds it sitting on the floor, staring at him with unblinking eyes.

Groaning, he rubs his face.

“What did I say about lettin’ that dirty clump of hair in the bedroom with us?”

To his annoyance, Ian just nuzzles deeper into his pillow, apparently not too preoccupied with the fact that his husband was virtually mauled in his sleep.

“S’not dirty anymore. Gave it a little bath.”

“Yeah? Bet it can still give me like uh—” Mickey blinks rapidly, the motors in his exhausted brain working overtime. “—like uh, rabies or—or AIDS!”

Ian gives a prolonged sigh. “It doesn’t have AIDS.”

“You don’t know that.”

And he really doesn’t, because the way this cat came to (temporarily!) stay with them was almost identical to how all shitty things happened to them.

The short version? They were in the wrong place at the wrong time, and Ian was too much of a soft bitch to just walk away from the situation and forget it ever happened.

The long version is basically the same but in a bit more words. The vermin must’ve snuck into their apartment complex when they were coming back from the store, full arms of shopping bags obscuring Mickey’s view of his surroundings, and followed them all the way up onto the second floor, lured by the smell of their bullshit organic ham from Whole Foods—or the looks of Mickey’s juicy calves, who could really know for sure.

Mickey only noticed it when they stopped in front of their apartment door, and the thing curled itself around the toe cap of his right boot, hell-bent on digging into it with its sharp claws and kicking it with its hind legs.

And okay, back then, it was sorta funny. Mainly because this was the least predatory behavior Mickey’s ever seen in his life. There was just suddenly this thing—hardly a full-sized cat yet, covered from head to toe in mud that made her hair stick together in little hedgehog-y spikes—which already decided to take on a big scary shoe.

So obviously, Ian’s natural reaction was to start ovulating on the spot and claim they had to take it in.

Fuckin’ soft bitch.

“It’s starin’ at me,” Mickey remarks from the bed as he observes the cat-midget with a scowl. He really had to stop enabling Ian’s savior complex.

“Close your eyes.”

“What if it sneaks up on me again, slits my throat open?”

“You have a fat neck. It would have to dig real deep.”

Deciding the second-rate muff on the floor can wait, for now, Mickey turns to Ian. “Who’s side are you fuckin’ on?” he snips at the back of his head.

“My side,” Ian replies tiredly and then shuffles under his comforter to lie on his other side, facing Mickey. “Look, she was scratching at the door, meowing like crazy. You probably couldn’t hear it over your snores, but I did. What else was I supposed to do?”

Mickey watches him for a second. “I don’t snore.”

“Right.” Rolling his eyes, Ian hauls himself off the bed. “Must be my other husband, then. I always get you two confused.”

He takes out one of his older hoodies from the midsized wardrobe opposite the bed and lays it on top, fluffing it a little, so it forms an impromptu nest. Then, he gently grabs the cat and sits it on there, letting it sniff around the material for a couple of minutes before it finally settles down, leaning its head on its outstretched paws. Its eyes stay on alert.

“They like being high up,” Ian answers Mickey’s questioning looks when he comes back to bed. “So they can monitor us and the room at all times. Makes them feel safe.”

“The fuck did you learn that?”

“Google. Done some quick research last night.”

“Oh! So you become a fuckin’ cat lady in one night, but when I asked you to figure out how we could install a sex swing in the empty room—”

Reaching over him to switch the light off, Ian smacks a kiss on Mickey’s cheek.

“Goodnight, Mick.”

Reluctantly, Mickey closes his mouth, already feeling himself deflate.

Whatever. They’re getting rid of that thing later today.

---

“Hey! You’re early,” Ian greets him from the couch. His head propped up on the armrest is the only part of him that Mickey can see from the door, and it makes him chuckle. This way, Ian looks like a magician’s assistant.

“Yeah. The new guys aren’t so useless after all.” Having taken his jacket off, Mickey stalks closer to the couch, his lips already curling into a smirk. “Figured we could use the time better. Maybe take the new toy for a spin. Introduce it to my assho—WHAT THE FUCK is that thing still doing here?”

The surplus pair of eyes regard him from Ian’s chest, quite unperturbed by his outburst as it gets its chin and ears scratched.

“We kinda bonded,” Ian admits sheepishly.

“I can see that.”

In the daylight, and probably after another thorough scrub, the creature’s fur got a vivid, ginger color. Mickey would probably laugh at the resemblance if he wasn’t so set on hating this thing.

“I couldn’t just ditch her. Look at her!” Ian tries to argue, as if looking at it would solve the problem.

Nah, no way. He’s not falling for this dumb big sad eyes crap again. The last time he did, he ended up with a husband in a prissy apartment on the West Side. And now, on top of that, he’ll most likely have to share it with a tiny ass-licker—and not even the kind he likes.

“Bought some stuff,” Ian adds after a pause, motioning in the direction of the kitchen counter where a stack of cans stood next to a bag of dry cat food and cat litter. “She’ll stay with us for some time. Two weeks max, I swear. And we’ll try to find her a new home in the meantime.”

Mickey surveys the counter for another beat. “That’s for two weeks?”

“Mick’s a big eater.”

He swears his eyes grow three times their standard size at that.

“You named it ‘Mick’?” he asks reproachfully.

Ian grimaces. “Yeah? But not on purpose,” he explains apologetically. “I just started telling her about you, and she seemed to perk up every time I mentioned your name. I think she thought it was her name.”

“Great.”

“You said it yourself: Mickey can be a girl’s name, too. And it makes sense because she reminds me of you in so many ways.”

Mickey inspects the cat that’s supposed to be so much like him and finds that during their conversation, she fell asleep and was now letting out these low huffs against Ian’s T-shirt.

And sure, now, in her pacified state, just sprawled like that like a hairy-ass baby on Ian’s chest, Mickey could see himself calling her cute. Maybe. Whatever.

“Even if she looks like your long-lost sister?” he jokes.

“A ginger with Milkovich attitude. Kinda perfect, don’t you think?”

As Mickey watches his big softie of a husband tenderly stroke the cat’s fur, grinning at her as if he was already completely enamored with her, he realizes that he’s smiling, too.

Ah, shit. Mickey’s so fucked.

To be continued. Maybe.

[everything-laito]

Diabolik Lovers Tag 2!

I was tagged by @vampiretsuki and @akumacaron!!!

Rules: Answer the Questions and Tag whomever you want to tag~ I would love to read your answers so tag me (@vampiretsuki) and I will read them~!

1.- Would you rather wear Carla’s Scarf or Shin’s eyepatch? 

I love scarves!!! So Carla’s scarf :) But eyepatches are metal as fuck, but I’d do that for like a one time only thing. 

2.- Which moments has been the most shocking to you? (Game, Manga, CD Drama, Stage Play, Anime)

Ok the fact that in the anime Laito kills Richter, like I look back at it and lose my SHIT––that’s probably the best thing the anime has to offer. There’s so much symbolism and implications and UGH I might have to do an analysis of it myself, even though aka-anemone made hers on it. I know I talk shit about the anime a lot so it’s surprising that I’d be talking about it in a positive light, but that’s one of the most shocking moments I can think of now. 

3.- Have you had a Diaboy whom you hated (or had very little interest) and now you love him? 

Uhhhhh not really? I’ve always hated Reiji and uh,,,, I hate him a little less now. I appreciate his juxtaposition to the boys and his funny insults and regular comic relief. 

4.- Which moments (Game, Manga, etc) has made you laugh the most? 

EVERY TIME LAITO REFERS TO HIMSELF AS A GENTLEMAN I SWEAR––there was one moment I remember laughing recently too, oh god it was a tokuten CD; whenever I think of it I’ll make an edit to this. 

oh also whenever Reiji’s whip sound effect plays in the games or CD. Idk why but it’s so funny to me.

5.- Which moments has made you cry the most? 

I’ve played Laito’s MB route two times, and whenever that scene of him and Yui having consensual sex I always cry. First it was on the bus when I went to Cuba for a school trip three years ago (which yikes I hate crying in front of other people LMAO), and last year it was in the corner of the study room in my residence hall behind 2 whiteboards on wheels. I was waiting for my laundry to be done (for some reason the laundry room and the study room were connected lmao) 

6.-Which moments has been the scariest for you? 

Legit Kanato’s HDB vampire ending. That shit screwed me up dude, my stomach knotted even more than Laito’s ending. I’ll copy a snippet of a conversation between me and my friend (who loves Kanato) when I just got done with his vampire ending.

me: like Kanato really just took everything Yui loved and had, even her humanity; i just realized the latter, and WOW thats FUCKED UP like Laito did it too but SHIT kanato just,,, went more

my friend: Right?? And it’s so much more eerie with kanato because yui just seems so happy. And yeah laito also took everything away but kanato is just on this whole other level because at least yui remembers her old life and why she loved it with laito but she doesn’t with kanato

me: Yeah its just uhhhhhhhhhh oh god oh fuck

I think creepy stuff juxtaposed by happiness/cuteness just makes it all the worst. Its like that clip of children singing ring around the rosie in horror movies; that specifically doesn’t really get me cuz its so overused now but you get the gist. 

7.- Which moments has made you the angriest?

whenever reiji jk lol its more:

whenever Cordelia

whenever Karlheinz

also yeah still kinda whenever reiji

8.- Would you like to be a student at their nocturnal school? Would you stalk/see what the Diaboys are up to? Who? (Only pick 3 diaboys!) 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA stalking Laito is a TERRIBLE idea. He’ll know right away. But uh,,,, :) I’ll fuckin do it

I’d also see what Yuma and Ayato are up to. I’d love to see what Kou is up to but his fans would easily catch on and probably yeet me into the sun.

disclaimer: don’t stalk irl it’s uhhhhh kinda really bad :)

9.- Have you had any DL Dreams? if so… Tell us your favorite or your most recent~! 

I’ve been in this godforsaken hell for 5 years now???? And I think about Laito literally almost every fucking day???? what do I get??? nO dreams with him. I think I’ve had snippets before but I can’t remember any now. It’s unfortunate. 

BUT. I do remember one dream I had where Reiji was in (the irony, I know). Here’s the text I sent to my friend (that was in the dream too) about it:

Me: BRUHHHH U WERE IN MY DREAM LAST NIGHT AND SO WAS REIJI FROM DIABOLIK LOVERS (the one that looks like a pigeon) AND YOU SAID THAT YOU LOST YOUR VIRGINITY IN HIGH SCHOOL TO HIM IM LOSING MY MARBLES LMAO

My friend: 😂😂yoooooo nooooo 🤭

Me: We were all in this bougie ass house waiting for someone, and you, me and Reiji are just on the couch and im introducing myself and all and I was like “I know who you are Reiji” and then the conversation continued and eventually there was a subtle hint in a sentence he said that insinuated that you and him had sex, and I was like “HUH???? [friend’s name] WHAT” and you were like .3. “yeah I hooked up in high school” and I was like “goddammit why didnt you at least introduce me to Laito or something if you knew his family” and you were like “lol”

Anyways I lost my shit when I woke up; enjoy my barely coherent half asleep grammar

10.- Is there something/habit a diaboy does that bothers/annoys you? 

AYATO WONT TIE HIS FUCKING TIE RIGHT IM––

Honestly Idc about that nearly as much that I can’t forgive Laito for the toothbrush scene, I can’t, it’s too weird even for me, and thats goddamn saying something.

11.- Is there something/habit a diaboy does that makes your heart flutter/melt? 

Literally almost everything Laito does except the toothbrush scene. But mainly voice drops. and his manic laughter. fuck.

Lmao this was fun!!! Now time for the tagging: 

@hotline-to-hell @nam00n @the-precious-sugar-chan @murasakiplum @the-tomboygamer123 @jardinsdeminuit @zaraenia have fun, go ham!!! Also if you wanna do this do it as well!!!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #306

i’m v talkative today so pardon my jabbering below.

What is the strangest type of candy you have eaten? I think I've had one of those lollipops with a bug in it before as a kid? I don't remember. What would be your most ideal profession? A freelance photographer. But I'm honestly starting to lose hope. Have you tried those coloring books for adults? Yeah; it's funny you mention 'em, 'cuz a family friend got me one for my birthday earlier this month. What is a topic you definitely don't want to talk about with anyone? I don't like talking about my sexual history, doesn't matter who you are. It's just uncomfortable. What was your first gaming console? An Atari. Is there something you're eagerly waiting for? What is it? *SLAMS FISTS ON TABLE* MAY NEEDS TO FUCKIN' HURRY. My tattoo appointment is set then. :''') Do you/have you ever belonged to an organization? If so, which one? I was a Girl Scout when I was young. What is something you're very passionate about? Nature conservation, gay rights (equal rights in general, really), the pro-choice movement, and then there are less "important" things like certain hobbies interests and such. I'm sure there are more big ones that are just slipping my mind right now, considering I feel passionately for a shitload of stuff. What are you studying or what was the last thing you studied? I majored in Art & Design with a focus on Photography in college. But guess who dropped out. What was the last present you gave someone? I don't know... I mention enough that I don't have a source of income where I can really buy anything. I think the last thing I did was a Christmas gift for Mom a year or two back of a drawing I did of our late dog Cali, whom she absolutely adored. Do you enjoy plays? If so, what was the latest one you saw? Not really, no. What was the last thing you achieved? PHP has helped me focus on little victories, so prepare for an underwhelming answer haha, but it's something. I Facebook messaged an old friend I really wanted to catch up with, and everyone in group cheered for me. :') It was really heartwarming. What a shocker that this program is really helping me once again. What is something you would like to achieve at some point in your life? I would love love love to take at least one "famous" or award-winning photograph. It'd be such amazing validation that I'm talented at something I love so much. What is one philosophy you have regarding life/living/purpose? That's... difficult to answer seeing as I'm trying desperately to find my purpose. I do try to live by this old quote a therapist said once: "Deal with life, or life deals with you." I think it holds an incredible amount of depth and meaning in such a short phrase. How would you design the inside of your own home? I don't know the details of it, really, besides that shit is gonna look like a Halloween house year-round. I can imagine wanting black furniture, too, and having loooots of decor expressive of what I love and find comfort in. Gotta make a house feel like a home just for me. What is a band you remember liking from your childhood? Backstreet Boys, duh. Do you ever get mad at people for not having the same opinion as you (i.e. abortion being wrong/right, meat-eating being wrong/right)? Two things: it depends on the topic, and "get mad" is the wrong term for what I feel. It's more disgust; ex., I'm repulsed by anti-gay rights people and want absolutely nothing to do with 'em, but I'm not like, mad at them. Do you edit any of your pictures? In what ways? Oh yeah, and it definitely depends on the raw photograph. I edit depending on the mood it emanates; like if you've seen my roadkill photography versus nature shots, there is an extremely distinct difference in editing style and vibe. I'd say in general though, I tend to like to brighten my photographs and add more vibrance. If you like to take pictures, what is your motivation? God, I could write an essay on this. I just love and am so thankful for the fact we can literally freeze time forever with the click of a button and look back on fantastic sights, beautiful moments, memories... It's just magical to me, and I adore contributing to that art. Would you ever consider living anywhere cold? Well yeah, that's my preference, actually. What is your absolute favorite food? The spicy shrimp fritas from Olive Garden, jfc. Would you ever wear snake-skin pants, or other animal clothing? Fuck to the absolute hell no. What foreign country would you like to go to for a shopping spree? Idk, considering I'm not well-versed in the artistic creations of other countries. Perhaps India? Japan? I dunno. If you met your favorite musician, what would you ask him/her? I'm asking for his fucking autograph and a hug while I smile my face in two AND cry lmao. What do you spend most of your day thinking about? I ain't gonna bullshit nobody, my PTSD. In some way or another, he's lurking in that head of mine through memories, flashbacks, wonders of what could have gone differently... but thank God it's no longer in the forefront of my mind after my first PHP. I've come very, very far, but especially when trying to blank out my mind to fall asleep, parts of PTSD strangle my brain until I'm just finally out. I really hope that changes someday. Where is a busy place you would like to go to? Yikes, nowhere, really. I like to avoid busy locations. Do you think video games cause people to become violent? Absolutely not. You are responsible for the decisions you make; music, games, movies, etc. have no deciding voice in stupid shit you do, and it's bullshit that people blame art and entertainment for such things. Vocabulary: What was the last word you learned? I'm unsure. Have you or could you build your own site? Absolutely not from scratch. The closest I've gotten to that is my photography website, but it was through the assistance of Wix. What's the best thing you can cook yourself? Scrambled eggs, haha. I do make some bomb eggs at least. Are there a lot of graffiti around your neighborhood? No. Do you have a hobby that forces you out of the house? If so, what is it? Nature photography. Would you stop eating meat, if you had to raise and slaughter it yourself? Absolutely. God, I want to go vegetarian again... Besides English, what other languages can you speak? I can speak a very little bit of German. Took four semesters of it in high school and became very good at it, but lack of practice has pretty much ruined that. Besides English, what other languages can you read? I can read German well; as in, I can pronounce most words I see, but that doesn't mean I understand what is written. Do you think you could make it as a chef? Gordon Ramsey would deadass kick me off his show on day one, lmao. What's your favorite kind of tea? It marvels me JUST how many tea and coffee questions are in surveys. Anyway, I don't like tea. I am an embarrassment to NC culture. What thing/person/happening has made you the happiest you've been? lask;dfjal;wekrjwe What's the most freeing thing you've ever done? Stealing my happiness back from someone who had no right to hold it all in its entirety. That shit's mine. Do you think today's kids are really impatient? Most, probably, but in some ways I can understand it - at least, in the sense that with the assistance of modern technology and advancements in satiating our wants so quickly, kids just expect it. I definitely believe that patience is something to try to be deeply instilled in everyone, though. I don't have an ounce of it (in most situations) and wish I did. Have you ever tasted birch sap? No. How about the young buds/shoots of spruce trees? No. Which edible flowers have you tasted? One of my favorite Southern experiences is finding a bunch of honeysuckles and tasting the honey (is it technically even honey??). Tastes amazing. My family's hairdresser lives down a beautiful path that sprouts a massive amount of them, and as kids, my sisters and her two boys would go tasting them while our parents talked for so long, or if we were waiting our turn. Good memories. What has been your worst restaurant experience? I'm not sure, really. What's the most immature, adolescent thing that still makes you laugh? "Inappropriate humor type jokes." <<<< They can get me sometimes, too. Have you ever had a life-threatening condition? If so, what was it? No, thankfully. Have you ever had a custom print done on a shirt? If so, what was it? I don't believe so, no. Besides making a tye-dye one in HS with our school colors. Wasn't my idea and never wore it, haha. Do you ever read other people's survey answers? It depends on the person. If it's a friend, absolutely, because I love learning usually obscure things about them I wouldn't have known otherwise. If it's a user I don't know from wherever I got the survey, sometimes, depending on how short the answer is and my eyes kinda just scroll over it. Do you like daytime or night time better? Why? Daytime, especially mornings. I'm generally happier when there's light around. What's your highest level of education so far? Some college. Describe your ordinary day: My average day is embarrassingly uneventful. It's sitting on the laptop doing shit on various sites, none of which are actually important, and playing WoW, which is also without true substance, save for social interactions with my friends on there. I spray Venus' terrarium everyday multiple times as well to keep the humidity up, and obviously eat and handle that kinda bodily needs stuff. Would you ever have a UV tattoo? Ugh, that'd be so dope. I've seen some awesome ones, but idk if I'd get one, considering when am I actually going to be under UV light?? Like I wanna be able to see my tat. What is the brand and color name of your favorite lipstick? I have one black lipstick, but it comes right off so I don't even like it. I only ever put it on to take pictures. What do you like on your tortilla? Just ham and cheese. How about inside your pita bread? I've never had pita bread, actually. What do you like in your burger? It depends on where I'm getting the burger. My basic is cheese, ketchup, mustard, a bit of mayo, pickles, and a light sprinkle of diced onion, but sometimes I add bacon and take away the onions. How about on your pizza? I have three I tend to pick from: pepperoni, jalapeno, or meat lovers. Do you work better alone or in a group? Alone, definitely. Which body part would you not mind losing? I'ma be extremely honest, with just how horribly weak my legs are, I could live without them, I guess. Not saying I want to by any means, it's just exhausting using them. Ideally, I'd take away something minor, like a finger or something. What common saying people use is absolute BS to you? “'Everything happens for a reason.'” <<<< Fuckin' colossal "same." I won't rag on people who believe it, especially if it gives you courage to keep moving forward, but I don't believe it in the slightest. If it were so, I'd like to talk to whoever is in control of those "reasons," please. What is the most interesting thing you’ve read or seen this week? I had no idea elephants were pregnant for two years, like holy shit, can you imagine. It was in an article I saw on Facebook about a mother and daughter elephant who are both expecting and doing well. Wonderful to hear. What’s the most useless talent you have? Ha, I'm a master in the arts of catastrophizing and jumping to conclusions involving people hating me in one way or another. What’s something everyone looks stupid doing? I'm one of those people who hate dabbing done by anybody, like you look like you're just smelling your armpit. Which kids’ movie scarred you for life? I wouldn't say "scarred me for life" by any means, but when I was little, I was terrified of the Wicked Witch from The Wizard of Oz and even had nightmares about her. It sucked because my little sister was obsessed with that movie, haha. In one sentence, how would you sum up the Internet? A source of incredible knowledge but also hate and misinformation. What would be the most ridiculous thing for the government to make illegal? I literally dread the idea of Roe vs. Wade being reversed. Banning abortion would kill so many people with operational uteruses and cause absolute pandemonium. How many friends do you have on social media and how many of them do you know for real? On Facebook, I have 124 friends, and I'd say I know most of them "in real life." However, having been on the Internet since I was so young and befriending loads of incredible people, a good chunk are "online friends." Hell, I'm more interested in their lives than most "real" ones. Long-distance friendships are so valid. What fact amazes you every time you think of it? Lots of things, generally regarding the stupidity of humanity. What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done? Probably going to the beach w/ my old friend Colleen. We had zero plans of doing it, but she just called me one morning and asked if I wanted to go, and off we went. It was a fun day. What has taken up too much of your life? I'ma be real, WoW. I don't think I'm addicted to it like I once was seeing as I go through spans where I barely want to play it at all and don't, so I truly am capable of not playing it, but rather it's just the most entertaining way to kill time in my life. I just don't like how much time I've invested into a game over six or seven years regardless. Where do you not mind waiting? Uh, nowhere lmao. Is there an app you hate to use, but still use every day? No; why would I use it if that was the case? Who is the funniest person you know? My friend Girt is fucking hysterical. What three words describe you best? Complex, passionate, and creative. What makes you think you’re smart? Lol who says I think I'm smart? Who inspires you? Korean Jesus. Okay on a serious note, not just him, of course, but he's #1 in an entire universe of ways. Do you aspire to be like somebody else? If so, who? No; I want to be my own authentic self. How did you meet your best friend? YouTube, back when it had more social aspects. Which one of your accomplishments are you the most proud of? I want to say my recovery, but like... I wonder a lot if it's "enough" to be proud of with how scarred I still am? I still struggle with a lot and feel like I could be so much better by now if I tried harder. If I'm completely honest with myself, I think it's finishing high school in the top percentile of my graduating class. There was a ceremony for the handful of us and all, and I cherish my plaque probably too much. Reminds me of a time when I knew what the fuck I was doing. What's the strangest thing you ever did as a child? Thinking I had "animal powers" where I could invoke the traits of certain animals at will, like what the actual fuck, Brittany. What did your mother teach you? Christ, a lot. Dad didn't do a lot of the raising, honestly, so much of my core values and whatnot were instilled by my mother. She taught me to care for and be nice to others, respect myself, try my best in everything, and most importantly that she is always there for me and my sisters no matter what and can tell her absolutely anything. She was very serious about us going to college and saving sex for marriage when we were younger, but she diverged from those ideas as absolutely necessary with experience. I'm extremely lucky with who I call my mom, overall. What did your father teach you? Eek... Read above. Not a lot as a kid (save for riding a bike and playing softball); most he's taught me has come following reuniting with him after my parents' divorce. I remember we went to lunch once and talked about my breakup, and he talked to me about sometimes, you just have to let people go in order to be happy, like with him and Mom. He's very serious now about ensuring us girls know that he is always there for us and will help us in any way he's capable. What makes you feel powerful? "Powerful" isn't something I really feel, if I'm being real. What are you ready to let go? It would be inexplicably fantastic if I could let every speck of Jason go in both my head and heart. What is your most bizarre deal-breaker? I don't really find any of my expectations and limits as "bizarre?" They're all valid to me. Well wait, idk if you'd find it strange that I absofuckinglutely would not date someone who hunts, but it's not to me. That's a difference in a very serious value to me. Would you rather be hated or forgotten? Hated. God, I don't want to leave this earth having given just nothing. I can live with some people hating me for whatever reason. What’s the biggest personal change you’ve made? Accepting my bisexuality, probably. That's something that I consider pretty big for two reasons: 1.) I could end up with a woman forever, and especially 2.) I was originally homophobic. I still have difficulty in fathoming how I ever was. What are some of your short-term goals? PHP is finally starting to make me build these again. I want to get better at selfcare, draw, write, and read more, I want to drink a lot more water, exercise way more... Lots of things, really. What is the weirdest thing about you? Uh. I dunno. Probably that I RP meerkats, which is a very obscure RP niche for sure.

[muzzleroars]

re: the thieves being too "soft", ive always had an issue with how the thieves react to things?? like,,, get mad!!!!!! i know they have their awakenings and i love them but after that theyre just kinda.... its not that big a deal? like!go off!!! get his ass!!!!! yall have all the right in the world to be fuckin furious and now you have an outlet too!!!! go ham!!!! AND in addition to that like.... these are TEENAGERS. they should be fucking pissed off!!!!!!! yall had ur awakenings then what?? smh

GOD I KNOW...they are all angry as characters, but the anger they react with is like totally in line and appropriate for what they’re dealing with. outside of ryuji, we don’t really see them blow up at the wrong times or take their anger out in unhealthy ways, which they...really should. and even when they do have inappropriate, over the top emotional responses, it’s treated as a joke (like yusuke at the art exhibit during his confidant - it seems like it’s just supposed to be funny and then we move on :\) tbh what i wanted much more of was in-fighting with the thieves. i believe they are a tight-knit group that cares deeply for one another, but they’re also all highly passionate, all of them angry and traumatized, so how am i supposed to believe they barely ever butt heads? the only time we see it is with okumura, and despite the morgana fuckery that was poorly executed (it works for his character, but the handling was a disaster and just makes morgana look bratty instead of emphasizing his self-esteem issues), i loved seeing the thieves disagree on a target and argue about whether it was a good idea or not. that should have happened FAR more often, but since all the people they take down overwhelming deserve it, there’s not a lot of moral back and forth. they needed more moral grayness in these targets, and i think the mementos missions would have been a perfect place to insert it - smaller time targets that are perhaps less clear on whether or not they’re bad. p5r included that a bit, with some missions requiring you reasoning with the shadow rather than beating them into submission, but there’s still little dissent in the group.

i think tensions should have run high often, with joker acting as the glue to hold them together as he’s good at reasoning and he listens to all sides to make a rational decision on what he believes is best - he is the most skilled at managing his anger due to the threat of his probation, and it would have helped cement him as leader (the writers kind of made makoto act more as the leader for NO goddamn reason and it’s a huge pet peeve of mine with the game, BUT ANYWAY). i think it should have culminated in the depths too, where their moral questions come to a head as they see they’ve been using brainwashing to further someone else’s ends. they did it for their justice, but it had all been guided along by a being that wants to enslave humanity and THAT should have nearly torn the group apart with high intensity emotion. like it could have really highlighted the difference between destructive and constructive anger - p5 is all about constructive anger, showing that being pissed off can be good when you decide you’re fed up and will CREATE change if all of your pain and pleading falls on deaf ears, that if the system is broken and rallies behind monsters, you’ll destroy it from the inside out purely through your pent up rage at the injustice of it. and i think it would have been great, if instead of the thieves being all sad and hopeless in their cells, they went from destructive, inward or misplaced anger, into being angry for the right reasons at the right people. because anger is a tool, it is a weapon, but we’re so often told to achieve change peacefully, that anger gets you nowhere...but who tells us that? the people afraid of our anger. and so often, should that tactic fail, the ruling class then tricks us to turn our anger on each other, on other victims rather than on them, and i think that’s what the thieves would come to see here. why fight with themselves or with each other? they turn their anger on the societal system that harmed them and so many like them, they weaponize it to aim it at the rotten society that turned them into such angry people in the first place. THAT is the phantom thieves i would love to see because they deserve to have their anger highlighted.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

so since being chosen to never know peace until i know everything about academia nuts, i’d had this thought like hang on, was that one book we read in class in like 3rd grade about a quiz bowl team?? with uncertainty because i’ve never really known what the hell it is and still really am not sure, i understand it now as sort of extracurricular jeopardy but somewhat wilder

so anyways i re-looked it up and yes newberry book the view from saturday is about a quiz bowl team. just for fun here’s the scattered lore i picked up from that book and have never forgotten

i remember it was kind of edgy for us at the time b/c it mentioned brastraps in the beginning and someone says “bitch” as in dog and the one character gets the weird insult “i am a ass” written on his backpack (foreshadowing another connection to will roland) and changes it into “i am a passenger on spaceship earth”

learned what b&b’s are from this, but didn’t quite understand it, i’m still not sure i understand what it is except that it’s like staying at a hotel except it’s also someone else’s house

something about sea turtles

it explains zaftig and i never forgot

cat pawprints on wedding invites and they turned it into a thing like they’re special now and you get a prize

the ol “these separate stories about the individual characters become interrelated, representing how their lives merge overall and the group unifies”

really don’t remember that much about the quiz bowl part of it all

oh the one guy Nitpicks it’s also how i learned that word, i liked the rhythm of it too

i say the one guy like i don’t remember his name is noah gersham

i remember that b/c one of the projects we did in class was design a tee for our faves and i didn’t exactly have a fave but i picked noah b/c the one guy ethan seemed too much like he was supposed to be all serious and worthy of our sympathy and the same with nadia honestly and so that annoyed me....and then the guy julian was just super nice so that seemed too easy. i was going for contrarian and subversion here so i was like i’ll take the dorky guy nobody else will choose and me and one other person picked him

plus probably he was vaguely relatable because some annoying know-it-all nerd who hangs out with old people? i didn’t care about school or whatever but my only thing was supposed to be being smart and also i preferred being around adults / older kids than my age peers and when you’re in elementary school idk how else to justify this than “i know things? does this amuse you?” and maybe try to tell snarky jokes, idk, is that what older people do? plus if i was nervous i’d try to be cool and collected but the ol “took it too far in the other direction” probably and all i know is i annoyed my sister’s friend/s and annoyed my mom’s family friend who was kinda hilarious and a bit of a mess but nice but unfortunately when i was like 14/15 i found out he considered me like, bookish and snobby or something, which is funny b/c i’m always a dumbass going ham in reality, but i wanted him to like me so i swung too Cool n Snarky probably and anyways oh well. the fact is like, was this character really annoying? probably a bit, but he was like, 10, and probably so was sometimes i and i was like 8 or 9. nitpicking: is it now evolved into me just choosing to be intensely Analytically Critical when i feel like it? who knows. anyways i also chose the character i figured was least easily likeable just b/c a) hey i mean relatable idk i was in the loser circle since pre-k and b) like, i don’t want a character to be totally abandoned when there’s only 4 choices. being nice. he wasn’t so bad

i don’t remember the bit about the tea like is on the cover much, or what it all has to do with saturday, but i think maybe the quiz bowl team met for tea on saturdays. idk

the other book i remember us reading as a group is the van gogh cafe. we also read white fang and our teacher really like wolves idk

i feel like i picked up a weird amount of vocab that i remember is from this specific book. would that i could remember more of what that vocab is, though. i also don’t remember much of the quiz bowl answers included in the text.

oh the “tip” = “t.i.p.” = “to insure promptness” but i don’t think that etymology’s real

never mind!!! i’ve just found these bits from the book and i don’t think noah gershom’s annoying i think he’s funny. but probably he would be considered annoying anyways with his facts and sorta-pedantics. he’s learning things and by demanding adherence to Rules and well-structured arguments he’s challenging the adult world’s rules and logical-arguments which are often just facades to justify their authority, all while playing by the rules that the adult world’s claim to authority is by virtue of superior logic. subversive. i stan. for real i think he’s fun

now that i think about it i tend to side with characters who i don’t think are taken quite as seriously by the narrative and/or other characters all the time. i’m here to appreciate you

oh god i was about to say earlier that another reason i didn’t care as much about ethan or nadia is that there seemed to be some weird romance going on and that also puts me off and eventually annoys me, but then i saw something saying like one of their grandparents is married to the other’s grandparent, so i was like well i must be wrong, but no actually i was right. this is too much like academia nuts

well in conclusion: another book about a teacher taking interest in precocious kids and this positively impacts their personal lives: the kids individual personal journeys bring them to share intertwined personal journeys and like, learn things and shit. and they get friends because they are friends with each other. anyways this is always So That Was A Fuckin Lie

the only journey we’ve gone on here is i’ve remembered / confirmed that noah gershom is my fave, and i think that’s nice. i’d take a pic of the ancient tee i made and still had but i left it at my parents house

i know for a fact that the front said “Fact:” with cat pawprints overlapping...i also drew the cat...the calligraphy pen / inkwell.....little badges on the arms that just said “nitpick” over and over within a circle and i believe this was in purple

they won the quiz bowl too in case you didn’t guess

[pvcked]

s u r v e y :       d a r b y    b e l l e    m o n t p e l l i e r

written in purple gel pen. it be like that.

basic information

FULL NAME: darby belle montpellier PRONUNCIATION: DARH-bee bell mAHnt-pell-yer MEANING: without envy REASONING: darby belle was named after a beloved family dog who was tragically killed by an automobile the night before she was born. how… quaint. her mother insisted on adding “belle” to match her older sister, elody mae’s, “name flow”. her father never really approved, but he his second army deployment began just before her birth, so her mother went ahead and did it anyway. NICKNAME(S): darby, darbs, darby belle, belle, fruit loop, the singer from pelagia, dee, db. puck ( only by her late father ) PREFERRED NAME(S): darby, darby belle BIRTH DATE: march 3, 2001 AGE: 18 ZODIAC: pisces GENDER: cisfemale PRONOUNS:  she/her ROMANTIC ORIENTATION:  biromantic SEXUAL ORIENTATION: bisexual NATIONALITY:  american. ETHNICITY: american. there are some french roots, way back, but they’re bastardized: her family pronounces their surname the southern way, not the french.

background

BIRTH PLACE: jonesborough, tennessee HOMETOWN: jonesborough, tennessee SOCIAL CLASS:  upper-middle. FATHER: eric montpellier. deceased march 2, 2014. suicide. gunshot wound to the head. ptsd resulting from military duty. MOTHER: kenna mae montpellier. deceased february 22, 2007. housefire. SIBLING(S): elody mae, legal guardian. 25. artist and interior designer. faceclaim. BIRTH ORDER: youngest of two. elody mae is 7 years older. PET(S): none. she gets the sniffles! OTHER IMPORTANT RELATIVES:  n/a. PREVIOUS/CURRENT RELATIONSHIPS: she’s been in a long-term relationship with clark beecher since the fall of sophomore year. ARRESTS?: nope! PRISON TIME?: nope!

occupation & income

SOURCE OF INCOME: darby’s band, pelagia., has paid gigs around town and in neighboring towns. they sold copies of their first ep, too. CONTENT WITH THEIR JOB (OR LACK THERE OF)?: yes!! between her and elody mae, they make things work. darby loves music; she practially lives and breathes in song. PAST JOB(S): she delivered papers for a lil’ while in tennessee. tagged along while elody mae biked. SPENDING HABITS: darby knows how to find herself a bargain! MOST VALUABLE POSSESSION: her dad’s dog tags, which she keeps hidden under her pillow. some of his old navy blue sweaters. she throws ‘em on days when she misses him a little extra.

skills & abilities

TALENTS: musicianship. performing. songwriting. agile skating. playmaking. interpretive dancing. making her friends laugh. going cross-eyed for long periods of time. rolling her tongue. SHORTCOMINGS: she can’t say no to anyone she loves. quick to blame herself for things she can’t control ( like her parents’ passings ). elody mae rubs her wrong a lot and it’s not her sister’s fault, but they’ll go several days at a time without talkin’ when things get tense. swallowing her pride: she’s stubborn. LANGUAGE(S) SPOKEN: english, enough spanish to get by ( acquired from high school classes, but her southern accent kinda bleeds through? so kids in class always kinda smirk when she tries out the speaking exercises  ). DRIVE?: no. never learned. JUMP-STAR A CAR?: no. CHANGE A FLAT TIRE?: no. RIDE A BICYCLE?: nope. her dad never got ‘round to teachin’ her. SWIM?: no. they never had a pool. PLAY AN INSTRUMENT?: countless. she sings, plays guitar, piano, drums, banjo. PLAY CHESS?: she prefers checkers. BRAID HAIR?: is the sky blue? yes. TIE A TIE?: mhm. PICK A LOCK?: nope, but that’d be cool!

physical appearance & characteristics

FACE CLAIM: natalia dyer. EYE COLOR: bright baby blue. HAIR COLOR: light brown. HAIR TYPE/STYLE: down to her shoulders, curly. typically up in a ponytail or some kind of quick style. GLASSES/CONTACTS?: nope. DOMINANT HAND: right. she plays right wing. but she likes to cut food with her left. HEIGHT: 5′0 even. WEIGHT: 108 lbs. BUILD: very, very thin. surprisingly muscular, though. not built like a typical hockey player but boy, does she command the ice. her strength, like… bewilders everyone. recruiters came to see her play this spring and fuckin’ lost their shit. this girl ?!  captain ?!  right wing ?!  does she disintegrate when she’s checked ?!?! EXERCISE HABITS: always movin’ and groovin’. darby loves going for runs. weight-lifting. playing pickup games with her boys. SKIN TONE: very fair. freckled. TATTOOS: none.  PEIRCINGS: she has her ears pierced but almost never wears earrings, due to rink rules. MARKS/SCARS: some burn scars from the housefire that killed her mom in 2007, on the back of her left forearm/wrist and across her stomach. she’s really insecure about them and almost always wears long sleeves because of it. she also has a birthmark shaped like canada on the arch of her left foot. when they were alive and darby was very young, her parents used to joke that god put that mark there because he knew their daughter was going to be a hockey star.

NOTABLE FEATURES: her eyes. her tiny size. her laugh. USUAL EXPRESSION: smiley, vibrant. CLOTHING STYLE: long sleeve sweaters, jeans, vans. graphic long-sleeve tees –– she really likes the nature designs on patagonia ones, or cool/eclectic designs. converse. timberlands, leggings, and oversized sweatshirts. denim jackets. in the winter, she’s always bundled up because she runs cold. honestly? she’d sooner wear a hoodie and shorts in the summer than throw on a t-shirt. she does wear short sleeves, but mainly for team workouts and runs. JEWELRY: she wears her father’s wedding band around her neck on a thin gold chain, always tucked under whatever top she’s wearing. her sister does the same with her mother’s. ALLERGIES: strawberries. peanuts. bees.  BODY TEMPERATURE: she runs real cold. are you using that sweatshirt? DIET: when elody mae cooks, darby eats well –– lots of pinterest recipes and plant-based meals.  left to her own devices, she reverts to ease: poptarts, protein bars, almonds. sunflower butter and jam sandwiches. she typically skips lunch at school to write, or free skate, or sneak into the weight room with whatever team’s rented it out that period. she always snackin’ on pretzels. PHYSICAL AILMENTS: insomnia, since her mother’s death. worsened with her father’s passing. i imagine it’ll get worse with her sister disappearing, too. her mild dependency on painkillers.

psychology

MORAL ALIGNMENT: chaotic good. TEMPERAMENT: sanguine. ELEMENT: air. MENTAL CONDITIONS/DISORDERS: insomnia. SOCIABILITY: she’ll talk to anyone and anything! she flits around west ham’s social sphere like it’s nothing. EMOTIONAL STABILITY: sensitive. doesn’t hide things well. PHOBIA(S):  snakes.  being stung by a bee.  never being loved  /  never having the wherewithal to find it.  not getting a hockey scholarship.  emptying the medicine cabinet.  not being able to call her dad’s cell to hear his voice.  losing elody mae.  losing everyone. ADDICTION(S): painkillers. but she’s in denial. DRUG USE: a little here ‘n there. if others are doin’ it. ALCOHOL USE:  about as standard as you’d expect, from a varsity athlete dating another varsity athlete. PRONE TO VIOLENCE?: if provoked. she’s got a hockey stick and she’ll use it, if you threaten anybody she cares for.

mannerisms

QUIRKS: bites her bottom lip and rolls it between her teeth when she’s thinking.  squints directly at the sun despite being scolded for it for years.  latches on to friends’ arms as if the universe might tug them apart at any moment, and navigating the school parking lot is exhaustively complex –– like she might get lost; like she might lose them.  calling instead of texting.  sniffing peanut butter: she can’t eat it, but she loves how it smells.  sleeping all curled up in a ball, on her left side, with the blankets tugged up tight against her chin.  wearing beanies and baseball caps indoors.  waking up early enough for church each sunday: getting dressed, beginning the walk across town, only to turn back halfway.  running drills at the rink instead of attending lunch hour.  jotting down lyrics on standardized tests.  humming in school stairwells, when she thinks she’s alone.  tapping her locker dial three times with her index finger before putting in her combo. wriggles her nose when she’s trying not to laugh. gaze always, always drifting to the nearest window.  funky patterned socks.  she has a pair with picasso. HOBBIES: hockey. guitar, banjo, piano, drums. singing. songwriting. running, weightlifting. elody mae tried to get her into yoga, but her headspace is far too cluttered.  making late-night ice cream runs to the local parlor, because she knows the owner and he’s always ready to give her a free scoop.   HABITS: tapping her fingers on flat surfaces.  skipping meals when she’s stressed.  texting thumbs-up emojis to avoid having to give an actual answer to “ how are you? ” .  masking darker thoughts with game suggestions and silly jokes.  deflection.  wearing her father’s old army tees to bed, and sniffing them each time as if the laundered clothing might still hold onto even just a whiff of his cologne.  falling for the wrong people.  believing.  letting her nail polish chip and chip and chip until all that’s left is a silhouette of pigment.  biting her nails.  midnight runs.  pressing leaves into notebooks to capture moments for which she lacks the words.  over-gifting outside her means, arguing with her sister about it later. NERVOUS TICKS: biting her lip. not making eye contact. rubbing together her left index finger and thumb. DRIVES/MOTIVATIONS: honoring her parents’ memories. standing by elody mae. getting that hockey scholarship locked down, so her sister won’t have to give up more for her. making clark smile. oh, that boy’s smile. FEARS: the dark. heights. being stung by a bee. losing everyone.  elody mae might find out she kept their dad’s dogtags. POSITIVE TRAITS: saccharine, musical, virtuosic. NEGATIVE TRAITS: diaphanous, dewey-eyed, naive. SENSE OF HUMOR:  bubbly, giggly. she can find most things funny. DO THEY CURSE OFTEN?: no! her parents used to wash her mouth out with soap. CATCHPHRASE(S): “ well, golly ! ”  &  “ i’ll be darned ! ”  &  “ who’d have thunk ? ”

 favorites

ACTIVITY: making music, playing hockey. ANIMAL: she loves bees. even though she’s terrified of ‘em! BEVERAGE: water. BOOK: twenty-thousand leagues under the sea by jules verne. her father used to read it to her at night, chapter by chapter. it inspired her band name: pelagia .  it means the open sea. CELEBRITY: david beckham. adam mcquaid. COLOR: army green. DESIGNER: she likes thrifting. FOOD: pretzel sticks. FLOWER: daisies. GEM: amethyst. HOLIDAY: new year’s eve. she loves getting to blow party kazoos in everyone’s faces. MODE OF TRANSPORTATION: walking or running. MOVIE: he wedding date. she’s a sucker for those stupid rom-coms. the mighty ducks. slap shot. MUSICAL ARTIST: cigarettes after sex, stevie nix, amy winehouse, the band camino, daniel caesar, etc. QUOTE/SAYING: “ honey, you got a big storm comin’ ! ”  SCENERY: big open fields with bright green grass, wildflowers. SCENT: she doesn’t like candles, open flame. but she likes those lil’ air fresheners. eucalyptus, lavender, and peppermint calm her down. SPORT: hockey ! SPORTS TEAM: the west ham centurions, varsity girls hockey. she’s biased. she also likes the bruins. TELEVISION SHOW: bob ross specials. she used to watch ‘em all the time with her sister. WEATHER: warm ‘n breezy.  VACATION DESTINATION: ontario, it looks so calm.

attitudes

GREATEST DREAM: make it big in the music industry. have that be her career. GREATEST FEAR: she’ll lose more people she loves. MOST AT EASE WHEN: she’s with clark. or making tunes. LEAST AT EASE WHEN: she’s alone in the dark. BIGGEST ACHIEVEMENT: selling out toad’s place for pelagia’s biggest show. BIGGEST REGRET: the last she said to her dad wasn’t i love you. MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT: she punched a boy in second grade for calling her a wussy. and then his crying made her cry. BIGGEST SECRET: she prayed to make a deal with the devil to bring her parents back and bartered anything he wanted. she feels like her father’s death is her fault. TOP PRIORITIES: spending all the time she can with clark. lookin’ after tess, making sure grizz knows he’s being watched. taking care of elody mae, at least, as much as she can. securing that hockey scholarship for college. winning states. being a good captain. making music, and using that to help... mend.

[thiefking]

Do every single one from the danganronpa ask meme. All of them. Every question

HE HE HE…

obviously spoilers for entire danganronpa series under the cut, along with very specific character hate, a TINY dash of ship “hate” which should not be taken seriously, me being indifferent about characters you might like, and also me being fairly morbid. my opinions are all over the place! boy do i have a lot of them. some of them probably won’t be yours, because people can have opinions. all kinds of em! fascinating stuff. please oh please, let this post not somehow make someone start arguing with me because i didn’t put a thousand asterisks everywhere

1. Favourite game?

sdr2 is the best just like factually speaking

2. Favourite Protagonist?

i tried to answer this and my answers were “komaeda. wait he isn’t-- KIRIGIRI! wait no” so there’s that. i like all of them though

3. Favourite antagonistic character?

i assume this means the Rival characters right... i like komaeda and ouma. in my danganronpa rp server, i had my oc rob and also humiliate and cyberbully togami, and drew a squirtle on his stupid bald head because hagakure asked him to, so there’s that

if antagonistic also covers the characters who are murderers + masterminds/villains, then... ok gonna be real here? there’s only one character i am familiar with who i know i hate and it’s t*ruteru

4. Favourite character?

entire sdr2 cast (except t*ruteru), most of the dr1 cast (hifumi is gross, i don’t honestly care either way about leon or sayaka, and for clarification i like togami as a character but dislike him as a person), most of the v3 cast (i haven’t actually played v3 yet and once i do it’s probably gonna be more like all of them or all of them except one. i do know the general plot and characters, it’s just that i get way more emotionally invested when i actually play the game)

5. Best girl?

don’t you go making me choose...

6. Best boy?

the same as above except the answer is komaeda and we should all hurry up and acknowledge this

7. Favourite class trial from all the games?

i have multiple favourites but because it was the first one i thought of, i’m gonna give kudos to the third trial in sdr2. it was especially interesting because the murderer seemed obvious if you only took in the basic facts, but when you know what kind of person mikan is, it seems completely preposterous that she’d do such a thing-- which makes the solving of it all the more DELICIOUS... oh it was so good i loved it... the whole time i kept searching and searching for any answer other than mikan and coming up with nothing, and knowing that, i knew that it had to be her, but i couldn’t fathom the why and that alone was enough to keep me in doubt for ages... the very end when she starts to break down eliminated my doubt but my questions of “why” only increased tenfold and it made it even MORE delectable i fucking LOVE puzzle’s and mystery’s

8. Least favourite character?

i am physically incapable of summoning empathy for t*ruteru even with his sad backstory. i hope they tossed him in another volcano after the dr3 anime was over

9. Least favourite class trial?

i actually legit keep putting off playing v3 because i know who dies first and it makes me so mad

10. What would be your Ultimate SHSL Title?

HMM... i think i’d be a shsl ??? which i understand isn’t a real title but like... that’s sort of just... how it’d be, considering my personality and the existing characters i kin... later would be the reveal of my actual title, though i’m not too sure what it’d be myself. probably something like shsl detective, shsl writer/storybuilder, shsl puzzle/mystery enthusiast, shsl kinner of mysterious smart autistic bishies with pretty hair and ptsd... something along those lines

11. Favourite cast?

sdr2. next

12. Favourite Danganronpa 3 character?

the teacher, the large gay bodyguard guy, the small gay animator guy, and the chick who komaeda went to for his constipation issues

i don’t remember any of their names

13. What’s your opinion on the Danganronpa 3 anime?

forgettable but the parts with sdr2 kids’ school life is blessed and so is the happy ending

14. What do you think about Danganonpa 1 anime?

i saw it when it first came out and not once since. i will probably not watch it again because i prefer a more hands-on mystery-solving experience, even when i already know the answers

15. Your absolute OTP?

OUMAMI!!!!!!!!!!! IS CANON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

also komahina good

16. Your absolute BROTP?

sdr2 cast is all best friends. some of them are also dating but most importantly, they are all friends

17. Do you have an OT3? Which one?

i probably do but i can’t think of any serious business ones because i’m too busy thinking about a ship that came from rp called “horsepack” that consists of souda/momota/hinata

18. Favourite rare ship?

okay get ready for this: fuyuhiko/chihiro

it came to me in a dream once. fuyuhiko was like yo chihiro check this out and he showed her a box with a bunch of mice in there and she was like :O! and then the two of them just like. took handfuls of mice and hung out like that. it was good. 

the laws of shipping fuyuhiko and chihiro are these: fuyuhiko is a trans boy and bi, chihiro is a trans girl and also bi, and they have to hold handfuls of mice together at some point

19. Who do you think is an underrated character?

i refuse to acknowledge the fandom for long enough to notice which characters are classified as underrated for the most part because i live in my own brain palace where i can love every character and that is all that matters. that being said, i think it is fairly obvious that hoshi from v3 is underrated just... factually speaking? people do not pay attention to him very much it seems but it also seems he is a good little man. i know little about him, but that is the technical definition of underrated, so that is my answer i guess

20. Who do you think is an overrated character?

again i don’t know if he even IS overrated in the fandom but i think leon is kinda boring. i don’t hate him or even dislike him necessarily because i don’t... care enough about his character for that... i could probably be influenced by someone who is passionate about him, but right now he’s just kind of      existing

21. Favourite voice actor?

megumi ogata snatched me bald. megumi ogata didn’t even leave me with my scalp

22. Favourite talent?

shsl luck is a neat concept to play with, shsl adventurer is flat out aesthetically Pristine, shsl detective is fun, and shsl ??? is delicious and interesting even if it’s not a real title

23. Favourite mascot?

my brother got me a monokuma plushie for my birthday and the first thing i did was choke it. also, monokuma is hilarious and i hate his slutty little ass but love to watch it go, which is the same opinion i have about dimple from mp100

also, i’m really sleepy writing this and i don’t know what the fuck i am saying right now

24. Favourite Monokub?

i haven’t played v3 and i already know the answer is none

25. Least favourite mascot?

none probably? maybe?

26. Favourite execution?

okay this question INVITES morbidity so. like. i get to be morbid.

the ones that make me laugh the most are celestia’s and (look i was very sad but i can explain) alter ego’s because ... when i see them i can’t stop thinking about two specific vines. celestia’s execution is funny on its own but when i think about this fucking vine it gets worse and HERE. LOOK. I LOVE ALTER EGO BUT THIS MAKES ME GO HAM

the most brutal and ultimately chilling? leon’s, by far. it was EXTREMELY well done and sets the tone for the game so well

the one i like because the character deserved it? gee i wonder if it might be t*ruteru’s just can’t tell

and then there is only one that fills me with a sort of mysterious, enigmatic emotion-- very strong, but indescribable and neither positive nor negative. junko’s. really, junko in general elicits this emotion from me, she’s very interesting. what an excellent villain

27. Least favourite execution?

gonta didn’t deserve that and he definitely didn’t deserve such a weird-ass fuckin execution either

28. Favourite unused execution?

i don’t know any actually El oh el

29. Which character should survived in your opinion?

rantaro and ouma actually ARE alive and v3 is fake

oh also... all the characters i like. those ones should have lived

30. Which character would’ve deserved to survive?

hey i dunno how this question is different to the last one so i’m just gonna say that actually, you know how in sdr2 everyone is in a virtual reality and they’re shsl despairs being cured? the same is true in v3 and izuru also revives all the v3 kids. this is fact, and kodaka signed the rights to danganronpa over to me

31. Is there a character you think who shouldn’t have survived but did?

t*ruteru

also, realistically? like not because i dislike him. the opposite is true, i like him a lot. just realistically speaking. the fact that souda somehow survived sdr2 without dying seems almost unrealistic, not because anyone would have killed him but because he’s a dumbass

32. Least favourite protagonist?

none

33. Character with the best clothing?

take a wild kinnie guess

34. Best character design?

celestia, sakura, chihiro, sonia, gundham, gonta, touko, korekiyo, kirumi, chiaki, and junko

and once more, take a wild kinnie guess

35. A character who should’ve got more character development?

all of them lol

36. Character who looks amazing but you don’t like?

i mean. junko sucks as a person, does that count even though junko as a Character and villain is immensely interesting to me 

37. Favourite minor character?

komaeda’s pet dog

38. Favourite eyes?

*kinnie answer*

39. Smartest murder plan?

once again, while it’s really obvious the most likely culprit is mikan, the DRASTIC contrast between her personality and the concept of murder ITSELF, let alone the way she went about it, is enough to cause some pretty goddamn severe doubt, though not enough for her to get away with it

actually all the murder plans from mikan’s onwards were really smart and very fun to solve

40. Favourite culprit?

(i count sakura and komaeda as victims, not culprits, and kaede and chiaki are also excluded)

culprit who as a character i just love dearly: gundham

culprit who made things the most interesting: gundham, mikan

culprit who offed a character i didn’t like: celestia

41. Person you’ve never expected to become a culprit but they became? (Doesn’t include Chiaki)

mikan, gundham, and... junko probably counts, eh?

42. Honest opinion on Tsumugi Shirogane?

she’d have a really bad twitter account with a smug anime girl icon and do nothing but post just the worst tweets about the worst anime. she watches sword art online and thinks it’s a masterpiece

43. Describe Monaca Towa in 3 words!

didn’t play drae

44. Describe Nagito Komaeda in 3 words!

kin me id

45. Unpopular opinion?

komaeda doesn’t deserve to be treated the way y’all treat him and i wish you BEASTS would treat him with any decency considering he’s actually a very interesting character but no y’all just gotta treat him like a meme. fingers in his ass isn’t even funny, man... it’s really not... it’s like the epitome of Haha Sans Undertale Cringe Epic XD why don’t you calm down and find a real jokes

46. Unpopular headcanon?

all of my headcanons are popular in my brain palace, so actually i don’t have any unpopular ones

47. A headcanon you have about a character?

i have a lot but i’ll pick just one... uhhhh oh how about this fuyuhiko and nidai are both trans men and fuyuhiko is a lil jealous/Self Conches because nidai passes better than him but nidai is actually extremely supportive of fuyuhiko and validates him every time they see each other and they become buddies

also, nidai runs warriormale

48. Favourite OST?

sdr2 island 5 theme

also enjoy the intro theme, dr1′s execution & hangman’s gambit themes and... like, a LOT of the music in general. excited on the Stonecold Jam front for v3 that’s for sure

49. Favourite mini game?

i assume this means the in-trial minigames....? i actually kinda like logic dive especially because it also happens in ace attorney which is hilarious to me, also the end comic thing? but that one is less about the minigame and more about the ART STYLE they use for it... it’s so nice

50. Favourite game design?

you know the bonus parts where it’s basically just a dating game and nothing bad happens? ign 10/10

51. Character you thought you were gonna dislike but loved in the end?

i can’t really remember, probably ouma just because i saw him and was like “oh god his hardcore stans are gonna be terrible aren’t they” but turns out he’s my little rat baby and his boyfriend is rantaro

52. Character you thought you would like but disliked in the end?

t*ruteru... what a disappointing little wretch...

53. Favourite game end?

sdr2 because everyone lives

54. Least favourite game end?

v3 is fake, refer to my above True Facts about how it’s actually in reality sdr2 again

55. Favourite love hotel scene?

i haven’t played v3

that being said i like how rantaro’s isn’t even remotely sexual or even that romantic at all but if i went into my rantaro headcanons/analyses that’d take way too long, also i’m only halfway through this thing and it has taken forever and i am so very sleepy

56. Best free time events?

basically all the sdr2 ones but ESPECIALLY komaeda fuyuhiko and gundham, i haven’t done the dr1 ones yet..., also rantaro’s

57. Character who should’ve lived longer?

rantaro

58. V3 Pregame! headcanon?

I THOUGHT THIS ONE SAID PREGNANT

59. Favourite moment?

EVERYONE GO AMUSEMENT PARK AND BE HAPPY!!!!!!!!

60. Saddest moment?

danganronpa existing

61. Character who looks like the love child of ???

this one is dumb and i’m starting to rush this because i wanna go to bed and play acnl til i pass out. also rantaro, n harmonia and kirumi are siblings in an alternate universe

62. Describe Mikan Tsumiki in 3 words!

good lovely wonderful

63. Describe Kyoko Kirigiri in 3 words!

good lovely wonderful

64. Which character seemed like they were gonna be a culprit but they wasn’t?

“but they wasn’t”...

fuyuhiko is my answer

65. Who did you never expected to die but they died?

when i saw komaeda’s body discovery my mouth was legitimately agape and i just sat there staring for a few seconds

66. Describe the last trial from V3 in 3 words!

didn’t play yet

67. Which character would you never want to meet in real life?

are you fucking kidding me have you PLAYED danganronpa even amongst the characters i love are ones i literally could not physically or mentally handle being around in real life for extended periods of time. if nidai came up to me screaming about shitting i’d cower like a tiny trembling mouse

68. Which character would you like to meet in real life?

sakura oogami... i can trust her

69. Choose one character which you would take with you on a trip.

sakura oogami again because i get tired easy and she can just like... carry me if my legs get bad

70. Character you would have a sleepover with?

chiaki, chihiro, naegi, sonia, gundham, gonta, twogami. silly but not overwhelming and the perfect crew for some video game fun

71. Character you can relate to?

komaeda rantaro we been knew

72. Character you can relate to but you dislike them?

i’m just gonna start responding to the questions i have no answer to with things i made in blender by mixing animations/textures or just fucking with the models to incredible results

73. Character who deserved better?

this is a funny joke question since the answer is obviously god damn near all of them

74. What do yo think of Hiyoko Saionji?

i like her. little gremlin girls are good

75. Describe Gonta Gokuhara in 3 words!

baby boy. baby

76. Favourite research lab?

77. What do you think of the fandom?

it was hell in 2013 and i know without a doubt it’s still hell now but i have the wisdom to avoid it

78. Favourite random/unnecessary scene?

part in dr3 anime where the sdr2 kids play video games in class together

79. Which character has the cutest design?

chihiro is just a little baby ...

80. Hope or Despair?

hope

81. Could you be the Ultimate Lucky Student?

my boyfriend gets mad at me almost every time i send him a screenshot of one of my 10/10+1 pulls in bandori or sif

82. Favourite chapter?

sdr2. just, sdr2. also final chapters of dr1

83. Least favourite chapter?

84. Which character do you easily forget?

mahiru... also it’s weird like. she was put in the game As a tsundere, but whenever i read her Tsundere lines it genuinely feels out of character for her, even though she’s literally in her source material. it’s strange

85. Could you be a Dangan Protag? Why?

no, because i’m WAY better suited to the mysterious assistant character who actually knows what the hell is going on way ahead of the protag lmao

86. Favourite Anthology chapter?

i don’t know if i should know what this means or not SO

87. Describe Peko Pekoyama in 3 words!

good lovely wonderful

88. Describe Mondo Oowada in 3 words!

domestic bakery au

(just think about it. just a little bread shop that he and ishimaru run as husbands. chihiro helps out there)

89. Least favourite Danganronpa 3 character?

i don’t think i managed to end up liking the guy with white hair despite dr3′s best efforts

90. Do you like Junko?

yes she’s interesting

91. What do you think of Monokuma?

he’s funny and i hate that he is. he sucks, but he’s great

92. Least favourite Monokub?

93. Did you like the Monokubs?

haven’t even played v3 but the answer is no. some freak in a server i was in cemented this dislike

94. Did you like the Warriors of Hope?

i am so fucking tired and it’s been like almost a year since i last played any danganronpa game i don’t know what this means

95. What do you think of Gundham Tanaka?

he’s perfect and looking at him fills me with happiness

96. Who’s an overrated character you dislike?

(i didn’t make this one but i was partly responsible for its existence also looking at it makes my fucking sanity drop like looking at the grunt for too long in amnesia)

97. Overrated ship which is your NOTP?

sai*uma is fake, oumami is canon and also, rantaro would treat ouma right and actually put forth effort to understand him

98. Outfit you dislike?

tenko honey i’m sorry but what on earth is with that skirt... also gonta please put some shoes on

99. Your absolute NOTP?

komaeda/any woman but especially junko what is wrong with people

100. Opinion on all the Protagonists!

[tumblunni]

MORE UPDATES ON THINGS WHAT HAPPEN

The half week milestone of the hospital house thingie time! I think the term they use for it is "a residential stay"? Cos like its not a hospital its a shared housing block thats just full of doctors. I get to sleep in a real bed and there's a nice community room and board game nights and stuff. But its still really scary how intense the supervision can be! Like they have a window to look into your room once per hour every hour constantly. And they have to go through your undies and catalog them as part of the possessions check. I was not warned about that and it was mega embarassing trying to explain a binder to a bunch of old lady doctors! Oh and i had yo do a urine test today which was possibly the most fuckin embarassing thing in the actual universe. And you're not even allowed to take your own pills! They keep them locked in a big ominous wall of lockers and you have to come into the office and swallow the pill while theyre watching. I guess maybe because some people might be faking their illness and selling their pills on the black market or whatever? But that literally doesnt happen with antidepressants, they have no 'high' or even any effect at all on non-sick people. So it just makes no sense to me and its real embarassing cos like i said i suck at taking pills with plain water and without a straw. The ones i take are real damn chunky things the size of my thumbnail! I think i'l get better at not (literally) choking under pressure over time, tho. Hopefully.

Anyway that's all the bad out of the way! Now the good and the neutral and the just miscellaneous!

Its still nervewracking having to shower in a shared house but they have a cool walk-in shower and ive never tried one of those so it was vaguely interesting. And im allowed to take my showers early at 6am to minimize the chance of anyone else trying to use the door, lol. My biggest fear is having some staff member walk in on me when im naked like back in that homeless hostel. Oh or that time in the homeless hostel where the teenage boys filled the entire bathroom with inflated condoms wall to wall. Like wow so much damn effort to prank the stupid nervous bunni who probably would have been embarassed by literally anything else. Man this place is bringing so many memories of that homeless hostel but at least this time its a place specifically for sick people and they know i'm anxious doing shared cooking and board games and whatever so they dont make fun of me for it. But in a lot of ways that hostel had more freedoms too.. *shrug*

Anyway! A good! I get to have cooking lesson!! I know literally nothing about cooking and now i get to know several thing!! This nice doctor called Josie taught me how to make an omelette and i tasted ham for the first time! That is just how limited my life experiences are, lol. Oh and they want me to say that she's a 'mental health worker' not a doctor, but its all real confusing?? Like they have the staff that look after you and then the only ones we're supposed to call doctors are the ones who actually have the authority to prescribe pills and diagnosies. But like if youre in a hospital you'd call them all doctors, not just the actual surgeon? Or i guess theyre kinda like nursing home staff?? But they cant be support workers cos support workers are specific government assigned inspector type guys like Richard who only meet with you once a week.and i have to remember to not call him a social worker either cos social workers only work with family and custody related stuff. I dunno?? Basically the medical industry has a lot of names that dont really describe what the actual thing is, lol. Anyway the ham omelette was great and now im gonna try and remember so i can try and make it myself next time! HAM ACCOMPLISHED

Also i played bingo with a few other patients and it was fun but funny that i lost 6 times in a row when there were only 3 of us. I got a consolation prize of a pack of neon highlighter pens so hell yeah!!

I'm getting booked in to try some additional classes starting next week on monday and tuesday morning. The computer programming one was sadly unavailable, but i managed tp snag a place in "confidence building group therapy" and "basic how to use power tools". I wasnt really all that interested in that one but i thought it would be a useful skill even if its less fun. And maybe you get to actyally make something to take home at the end? A lil shelf to help organize this awkward lil room better, maybe?

And an unexpected bonus of being semi-hospitalized is that i get a free bus pass! And cos im here cos of my social anxiety theyre gonna help me get outside more and actually use this thing to the fullest! The first thing we did was the trip to actually get the bus pass itself. It was like "bus, take my money to take me to the place where i can never give you money again!" XD Ive been really stupidly nervous about going on tne bus in my old neighbourhood cos MAN it was really isolated there and everything just amplified my mental illness. An almost two hour bus ride to get to ANY SHOPS AT ALL, with only one bus for the whole town so it was always crowded and full of screaming kids and gossipy everyones. Social anxiety: maximum level proud mode!

So yeah i feel BIG ACCONPLISHED! I was able to take this bus for the first time with a doctor coming with me. Power Grandpa The Strong. His actual name is Paul and he has awesome sleeve tattoos of like anchors and dragons and sports teams and stuff! And he likes thrift stores and wearing silly hats too! Its like he's powerful enough to wrestle away everyone's anxieties! I was able to be a bit reckless too and i went out wearing my fave shirt thats like trans pride coloured plaid. A POWERFUL SHIRT IS REQUIRED FOR THIS QUEST! so we went to the office to register this bus pass and i panicked a bit cos apparantky we brought the wrong form and i wrote my name in the wrong box and then my passport photo looked terrible and aaa! But it all worked out and i was kinda freaking out for nothing. And he took me for a lil tour of the place and showed me this cool shop that does spray paint tye dye t shirts with spiderman on them?? Why does this incredibly specific shop exist and how have i never heard of it before?? There was also a new harry potter shop next to the disney shop, and the old used book store i used to visit as a kid was still there, complete with rickety spiral staircase and ominous basement trap door. I'm still not brave enough to go down there, but apparantly its just the history books section so meh. Then we actually went to a fancy coffee shop and i had this brain freeze mango ice frappucchino thing! Im trying all the new foods!!

And i was TOO HIGH ON DECADENCE and made a RECKLESS CHOICE! i blame power gramp's amazing tattoos, they were totally whispering to me that i shoukd screw the rules and ride off into the sunset on a metaphorical harley davidsen of mental health

So i was like Hey Paul I Am Totally Fine Getting Home On My Own, and it was like i was floating off in the distance somewhere begging my body to not speaketh these words. But it ended up working out okay! The excitement of it all and the sense of accomplishmebt from getting there all okay allowed me to mostly not freak out as i spent the day in town and looked at some shops and stuff. Basic Living Skills: Completed! I chilled out in the library (tho i dont have a card yet, alas!) and visited like five comic and anime stores, and got lost but found a Pizza Hut and that was SO NOSTALGIC FOR MY CHILDHOOD and it didnt taste quite as good as i remembered but the waiter guy was super nice and had a similar shirt and it was All Good! Oh and i gave all my money to a homeless person and that's why i'm broke now. And i bought a plastic slug! I just saw it from across the room and was like OH NO I AM BEING MAGNETISED TOWARDS IT OH NO IT HAS ALREADY BEEN BOUGHT. I need to think of a name for this new friend!!

So yeh i got home okay and i felt really acconplished and that was the furthest trip away that i've taken in ages! Man my mental illness makes me feel pathetic, but it also brings ridiculously big joys from the smallest of silly acconplishys!

Oh and thank you so much to the people who sent me emails! It really helped so much to keep me from giving up during the first few days before i made a bit of progress and felt like i could really do this, yknow? Especially big thanks tp the friend who sent me that mysterious super happy song that they found on a mystery disc in a german market?? Im still not sure whether its in greek or hasidic jewish but it sounds AMAZING and i hope someday i can figure out the band so i can hear their other singles!

Ok this is bunni out! BIG HUGS FOR THE EVERYONE AAAA

[thedappleddragon]

haha here we go again

there's a lot of dumb ranting and 3 days worth of logs and a dream in here so im gonna spare evryone’s dashboard and just put it all under the cut.

tw bad memories, talk of unhealthy relations with food, and dreams about dead animals

I realized I kind of entirely forgot to write about what I did yesterday? I kind of did a lot. I know my mom wanted to work on getting tile laid out in front of her bathroom, so we worked together to scrub the concrete and wipe up all the dirt and dust and whatever was under the carpet and remove some of the nails in the floor and bring up a spiky metal strip between the bathroom door and where the carpet was. The other main thing I remember is deciding to continue work on my dress, sewing up the outer bodice, checking that the bodice and lining would fit together, deciding I’d rather have no different colored front panel, and working on the circle skirt. At first I tried cutting the fabric on my bed, but it wasn’t big enough and too lumpy. I contemplated asking my friends if I could borrow their dining table, but I ended up clearing off my own. After I traced and was in the middle of pinning, I accidentally knocked over a glass bowl that I had set on the chair. My mom heard it from the other room and had me come to her room to tell her what it was. She got angry at me, which I thought was fuckin stupid if it was an accident, but after some reflection while cleaning up the glass pieces, I kind of understood why. Mostly I got a little upset about 2 ceramic pieces I made during school breaking a little from the drop. One was a mushroom house from middle school that always makes me remember feeling like an asshole during peer review when I told my person to smooth their project more because I didn’t know “no improvement needed” was an option until I got back to my desk and saw my person saying it was good in all categories because everyone thought my project was great for some reason. The other was a bunch of flowers on a circle. It was the last project we did before quarantine hit, I think. That one is in less tough shape, just a couple flowers knocked off and a chip on one of them. They can both be glued back together, I guess. Then my mom called me back into her room to listen to her talk about wanting to eat huge amounts of food, because she’s clinically depressed with BPD and PTSD and DID and several other acronyms and her favorite coping mechanism is food, but her doctor put her on a diet so she can get her knees replaced, but recently she’s been getting into a zone where she talks about wanting to eat entire cakes and pizzas and buckets of kfc and a gallon of queso or whatever the fuck and she goes “doesn’t that sound GOOD?” And I have to laugh along and say “haha no that sounds bad actually” and get her a piece of ham or something. And every time she goes on her spiel the only thing I can think of is the greedy from the raggedy Ann and Andy musical. It’s just this horrible undulating orange blob that eats everything in sight and seeing it for the first time just made me think of mom and it made me very uncomfortable, with all the orange goo and hurling noises. Also reminds me of this horrible video game boss fight where it’s the apocalypse and a fat lady on a scooter took over the buffet and eats so much during her boss fight, during the defeat cutscene she projectile vomits everywhere and dies. My brother Greg showed me that thinking it was funny. I hated it, and I still do. He showed me a lot of things he thought were funny as a shitty little kid, and I remember several of them being very upsetting. It’s ok. I don’t want to dwell on it. But after cleaning the glass and talking to mom I brought my fabric to my room and called it a night. Oh wait my dad also helped me with some paperwork my coworker handed me so I could get on the payroll.

Today I woke up differently than I have in a long time. I set an alarm for 10 am so I could be at work by 11, but I woke up at 9 from a heavy sleep with dreams about hanging out with my friend in my room, worrying about my dirty house. I wanted to sleep longer, so I got up at 10 to have breakfast and get ready. I spent my shift changing the price tags all around the store, making everything more expensive. I’m gonna work again on Tuesday where I’ll learn how to use the register. I hope I don’t fuk it up, but I have a couple days to relax until then. Maybe I’ll work on my dress. My friends all want to go to prom together, so my new deadline will be March 2nd or a little before. I still need to buy a ticket, but I don’t have access to the link to buy one :( bleh I’m too tired right now to worry about this shit. I only worked 4 hours again today, but after I got home I felt like I could have worked longer if they gave me something else to do. The only price tags left to change were a bunch of grills and stuff I don’t know about but I don’t know if they had any other work for my to do. But I’m glad I went home tho because I was hungry and my feet hurt from standing lol. I did laundry and made myself dinner and washed my hair and drew a little bit and made the table and tbh the pacing of today has been so weird I don’t remember everything. It’s only 1am but I think I’m just gonna go to bed. my friends started talking about going to prom, and I really want to join them, but I can't figure out where/how to buy a ticket. my brain started being really mean to me, syaing that I was being annoying and pushy and that they didnt want me at prom for some reason, so I low-key almost made myself cry until my friend offered to let me be their platonic date since their partner couldn't go. 

last night I had a dream about a hard video game where when you played it, the black shadow enemies would fight you in real life, and one of them left imprints on my arm in the shape of lego bricks. they could only attack you so long as you played the game, and they tried to capture people and you were supposed to save them. I decided it was my time to play, and I walked into my garage that had turned into a cave with bat-people fused into the wall. I paid them no mind as I rescued a girl who was my irl brother, grabbing her hand and pulling her into another versoin of my garage which was uncorrupted and normal looking. she thanked me, and I said it was no problem. then I tricked her, telling her not to trust so easily, as I became one of the shadow enemies and engulfed her in a black sack, trapping her and leaving the room. I came back a couple minutes later, letting him free (now my brain told me he was my brother) telling him I just wanted to know if I was capable of tricking him, and didnt actually want to kill him or whatever.  another big chunk of my dream was taken up by me, my sister, and my dad visiting a run down petting zoo/gamestop. the petting zoo barn was very dark with low ceilings with lots of rabbits and pigs and hay. one of us accidentally killed either a pig or a tiger right next to the exit door, and I had to slink around the gamester trying to distract the owner and keep him from going in the barn and escaping at the same time. I dont remember how it ended, other than me waking up with a sore throat from breathing so deeply through my nose. I had slept on my stomach wit my pillow in my face so I could hardly breathe, and even after I woke up I felt like I wasnt getting enough air. I HATE that feeling, I always felt like I was suffocating in middle school for some reason. I thinkk somethings wrong with my airway but im not gonna do anything about it. im gonna continue to spend 80% of my day laying down so my resting heart rate and breathing speed is slower than an goddamn sloth. whatever.

right now as im laying in bed typing this I feel utterly unpoductive but I KNOW I did SOME shit today. but yeah mostly I relaxed. I worked on my dress, removing and replacing the blue front panel. I lost my exacto knife somewhere so I went to dollar tree to get a knockoff, along with snacks for mom and my sister. the blades aren't as sharp as exacto, but I still know where the name brands blades are so maybe Ill try and see if they're compatible. when I open the package everything was oily and gross, so I washed everything off with soap and water before I used them to cut the threads of the panel seams. I could have used my seam ripper but I wanted to get a replacement craft knife anyway. its kinda neat that it came with 6 different shaped blades for different crafts :) but uhh I also cut out the other half of the circle skirt of the dress, and I have a bunch of extra fabric left over. probably enough to make a whole other bodess if I wanted too. I used my sewing machine to attach the new front panel, and I was hoping to get more sewing done tonight, but when I asked my sister if it was ok for me to use my sewing machine (it right next to the wall between our rooms so she can hear it from there) she said she was going to bed soon so I just attatched the front panel and called it a night. so that kinda sucked. I still have another day tomorrow before I have to work again, and I can still work on my dress on Tuesday after work. idk why my brain thinks that one 4 hour shift is gonna take up my entire day lmao. I just have to get the whole thing done by may 2nd. GOD that reminds me, im gonna be so busy next month. I have six events back to back happening like every other day, plus work. oof. I'll have to let my boss know, but idk If that's gonna make him mad. I've already got pretty comfortable with the lady in charge of the garden center who’s taken lead position while the manager is on vacation, but I dont think I;ll every understand my boss. he’s a sarcastic busy old man and NOT AT ALL approachable. whatever. really the only other tings I did today were drink a shit ton of water play harvest moon, spend too much time on tiktok, and sraw a couple dum things for my friends’ princess au. I fucking HATE the drawing I did for Anna, so I designed her a secondary outfit more inspired by sky pirate bohemian vibes, since she rules over the floating islands. idk if I'll replace her old outfit with the new one in the lineup or just re-draw her old one with better shapes and composition and match the style better or what. I just need it changed eventually becasuse it looks like ass. tbh now that ve taken a little bit of time away from the princess au, there are a couple designs im not 100% satisfied with. but I know that if I go back and make them more detailed or whatever the’ll be more of a hassle to draw and aslkdfhalksdf I dont know anymore. I'm still tied up about color pallets and trying to give everyone a distinct color, and im a little upset it doesn't quite work, and FUCK dude the edgy one’s lore and character are weird and I kind of want to revise it to make it a little nicer but its not my character and I need to stop shoving my dirty little mitts into everyone’s ocs and AHAGHRGHGARGHHG idk man. her power is necromancy and she has a skeleton army, which I think I kinda cool, but I also think it would be neat if her powers extended beyond just that to communing with the dead, helping them find rest, and THEN maybe it can branch into helping fallen soldiers fight again to help them with unfinished buisness. and then if she goes feral and starts abusing her powers, she ignores all the communication and concent with the dead and instead magically rips them from thr ground to do her bidding and they’re uncontrollable and violent and aimless, just like her mind slipping from the magical blight infecting her. idk man we’re till working on a lot of lore. her concept could be SO COOL with just that little bit of extra thought, but so far it’s just MY POWER IS DEATH IM SO EDGY. ugh I know its fuckin rude to bash your friends oc ideas and I might be too overbearing and controlling of this au but dammit im tired and im mean sometimes and my ego is through the goddamn roof and im so sexy and im always right and my meat is huge. ah shit I rpomised my friend I would help her with character design for the dead king but I was busy when she firat asked me and now im not busy but im not doing it ugh. im just frustrated right now because I spent wayyyy to fuckin long just laying in bed watching tikotks and youtube and playing harvest moon an doing jack shit all day. but hey at least I attempted to get a new social security card again today. and them promptly gave up when they said my adress was invalid. again. I feel like im in an uncomfortable medium between having no plans and worrying about the future and having too many plans all the time oh my god. ive been so focused on getting a job and then having a job and making this dress I completely forgot about college shit. thankfully there's no hard deadlines coming up that I haven't already finished. whatever I dont really want to worry about all this hit right now, im just gonna take it one day at a time. (haha it feels like my angel oc just stepped in. how nice of him :) )

[betterdaysareatoenailaway]

Out on the Interstate: S’more Thoughts on Neil Young

I don’t have any fentanyl stories today, so I’m writing another Neil Young post. (Don’t worry. I’ll find a way to mention heroin. You’ll see.) I still have a ton of fent stories, don’t worry bout that. I just don’t feel like mining my memory for any right now. Instead, I wanna talk about my favourite Neil Young song ever. It’s called “Interstate.” This performance was recorded at Farm Aid 1985. Young’s backing band at the time were called the International Harvesters, which is a funny joke (International Harvester was a company that manufactured tractors and other agricultural equipment). Young was on a roll in the 80s with clever band names. Later on he would front Neil Young & the Restless. Anyway whoever is playing piano with Young was the perfect choice, plucking individual keys instead of slathering big chords all over the descending minor chord progression. Young’s guitar is tuned to drop D, a favourite tuning of his throughout his career, from “Cinammon Girl” to “World On A String” to “Be the Rain,” and you can hear the low D buzzing throughout, giving the song a raw off-the-cuff feel. Of course, Neil Young is known for his raw performances, especially on albums like Tonight’s the Night, but by the time the 80s rolled around he was making albums with a lot of processing and production like Landing on Water, along with silly genre exercises like Everybody’s Rockin’ and Old Ways. 

Young would eventually be sued by his own record label, Geffen, for making “uncharacteristic music.” David Geffen would eventually apologize to him, but he wasn’t wrong that Young’s early 80s records were a bit of a disaster. This performance, however, shows that Young hadn’t lost a single step when it came to live performance. His vocal is clear and convincing, world weary but still kinda defiant, like all his best songs. And whether those are real or synth strings, they sound great, and really tug at one’s heartstrings. They have the spook, that high lonesome train whistle feel. To my ears, all the best Neil Young songs are haunting and plaintive. There is a loneliness at the heart of most of Young’s best work (ever hear “Albequerque”? Prolly the saddest song to ever mention the eating of ham?) Neil Young doesn’t write carefree party music. Hell, he once recorded an entire album about the death of his friend and former bandmate Danny Whitten - and to a lesser extent, former roadie Bruce Berry who was fired for pawning instruments to buy heroin...told ya I’d find a way to mention the drug ;). What I’m saying is, Young is no stranger to sad songs. As to which song is his saddest, there are many contenders, but as Young’s biographer himself admits, “Interstate is Neil Young’s loneliest song.” I agree.

Young’s longtime producer David Briggs, who knew damn well that “Interstate” was a rare gem, tried to get Young to record it for 1991′s Ragged Glory, but in typical fashion, “[Young] acceded, but perversely,” eschewing the full-band format and recording a solo acoustic version instead. That particular version would eventually see limited release on the vinyl version of Young’s 1996 album Broken Arrow, a forgettable affair that was hammered by critics and disavowed by most members of Crazy Horse. You can find the solo acoustic “Interstate” on YouTube but I’m not gonna post it, simply because it is so freakin’ disappointing. 

I love the line “I can hear a soft voice calling...telling me to bring my guitar home.” In the tradition of the Rolling Stones’ “Moonlight Mile,” "Interstate” is one of the all-time great I’m-A-Lonely-Rock-Star-On-Tour song. A more modern version of this idea can be found in Kurt Vile’s unimaginatively titled “On Tour,” a song where Young’s influence can be identified, especially in the way Vile tunes his lower strings to let them buzz, a technique pioneered by Young in the abovementioned song and most prominently in “Bandit.”

Thank God for YouTube, so that you can hear "Interstate” in all its gorgeous majesty. You can hear Young play the same guitar solo he’s been playing his whole career in minor key masterpieces like “Hey Hey My My,” “Like A Hurricane,” “Goin’ Home,” “Be The Rain.” Every time Young returns to it, you can feel the long shadow of his past, echoes of former greatness, the shambolic glory of his band bashing away at the chords, always emphasizing emotional delivery over technical proficiency. It’s a really really beautiful song, a song I treasure, and I hope you like it.

I’m also posting a rare version of “Shots.”

In “Shots,” Neil Young returns to a technique previously used on “Cortez the Killer,” where he switches from a third person omniscient voice describing trauma and violence to a first person voice describing personal emotion. In Zuma’s “Cortez the Killer,” Young spends two or three verses describing the endeavours of genocidal explorer Hernan Cortes, and also the Aztecs: people worked together/they lifted many stones/they carried them to the flatlands/they died along the way/but they built up with their bare hands what we still can’t do today/and I know she’s living there and loves me til this day. Now, that’s not Shelley, but it’s an effective and jarring switch. Young tries it again in “Shots,” and for me, the effect is even better. For whatever reason, maybe his sharp right turn when he became an outspoken Reagan supporter, or maybe because of the Iran-Contra Affair, Young’s lyrics took on a particular preoccupation with crime, border zones, and desert iconography in the 1980s, manifestations of which can be heard in “Crime in the City (Sixty to Zero Part I)” “Rockin’ In the Free World,” “On Broadway,” and “Eldorado,” all songs that ended up on Young’s last album of the 1980s, Freedom. But because of the remarkable internal consistency of Young’s discography, you can also hear such sentiments in one of his first 1980s releases: “Shots.”  Children are lost in the sand, building roads with little hands Trying to join their father's castles together again Will they make it? Hey, who knows where or when old wounds will mend?  Shots ringing all along the borders can be heard  Striking out like a venom in the sky  Cutting through the air faster than a bird in the night  But I'll never use your love, you know I'm not that kind And so if you give your heart to me I promise to you Whatever we do...that I will always be true To jump from depictions of border violence to gooey Hallmark card sentiments shouldn’t work, yet it does. The words might look silly written down, but the sheer conviction they are sung with, and the sheer power of Young’s loon-like vibrato, is what sells them, at least to my ears and heart. I’m not the first to make the loon comparison, Young’s biographer Jimmy McDonough has done so too. Young’s father Scott was the first writer to compare his son’s unique voice to the sound of the loon cry, a very Canadian sound, associated with Muskoka nights in summer, nights often soundtracked by Young’s vast and varied discography.

Disappointingly, the album version of “Shots,” which appeared on 1981′s Re-ac-tor, is pretty fuckin annoying, with its overblown machine gun affects (done by Young on the Synclavier), and Ralph Molina’s incessant marching beat. The song is already called “Shots,” Neil. You didn’t have to add machine gun sound effects. This isn’t audio verite. I’m not gonna post the album version here but you can find it easily. The album iteration has its fans though. Canadian blue-collar rockers The Constantines would cover “Shots” on a vinyl-only release with The Unintended, in which the Cons covered Neil Young and The Unintended covered Gordon Lightfoot. The Cons picked some weird songs, “Shots” among them, and you can tell they are referencing the Re-ac-tor version, not the superior one posted here. I’m not sure why Young slathered so many effects over the album version of “Shots.” The 80s definitely saw him taking his heavier music in an unpalatable direction. The Eldorado EP, in particular, has one of his most savage recordings ever, a song called “Heavy Love” where Young blows his voice out completely by the end of the song in an attempt to sing louder than the savage pulsing thrust of the band (the abovementioned Young & the Restless). The drummer on Eldorado was Chad Cromwell, not Steve Jordan who’d played with Young on his legendary SNL appearance where he played “Rockin in the Free World,” the definitive performance of that song, where Young tore all six strings from his guitar at its denouement. Unfortunately, SNL guards its content as jealously as a rabid guard dog, so I can’t post it. Maybe one day I’ll find a gif. I’ll leave you with two strong cuts from Eldorado. The first is “Heavy Love,” which is obviously a sister song to “Rockin In The Free World,” with its similar sonic texture and E minor riff. Listening is worth it just to hear Young’s voice go to pieces a la “Territorial Pissings” at the end (3:58 if you don’t wanna wait).

And this is the title track “Eldorado,” which ended up on Freedom. Young employs a fingerpicking style redolent of 80s megastars Dire Straits, and he sings of mission bells and senoritas and golden suns rising on runways and Mariachi bands while playing the A minor chord, a chord strongly associated with Mexican music and Mariachi styles. It’s a cool verite approach, one that works much better than the machine gun effects of “Shots,” especially when the gun violence Young has been hinting at the entire song finally explodes in a shower of distortion at 4:40. Have you ever heard something so loud compared to the backing track? I remember showing “Eldorado” to my friend/bandmate James, and I told him to prepare himself for how loud it is. Afterwards, James said, “even though I was ready for it, that scared the shit out of me.” It is so fucking loud. Check it out @ 4:40. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

One last point I’ll make...the Spanish-influenced guitar lick you can hear at 1:06 is really similar to the pre-chorus guitar riff Young plays on “War of Man” from Harvest Moon. I don’t consider stuff like that to be self plagiarism. I think it shows a consistency, but also it’s a way to reward fans for paying attention. Frank Zappa was known to do the same thing, re-introduce little musical nuances he’d recorded years or decades before. It’s cool. It’s what makes a discography live on long after the artist has burnt out or faded away. If you’re interested, here is a wonderful live early version of “Eldorado” titled “Road of Plenty” recorded with Crazy Horse in 1986: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=By6_oLYfrYk

[multsicorn]

i just really love this play alot ;) okay

Working on the theory that I Deserve To Have Fun (said theory has not been validated and is not ready for prime time discussion), I started watching the bootleg file I have of the OBC of Hamilton this afternoon.  (I downloaded it way back when I was in Hamilton fandom, before I went to go to see the play, and held off on watching it until I'd seen the play for Real, and then didn't particularly feel like it afterwards).

Some thoughts & observations:

[these got long and rambling.  lots of lams-shippiness and multi-shippiness, and gen stuff too]

* This play is really fuckin great.  Like, I've loved fandoms based around deeply mediocre and/or inconsistent canons, (looking at you, Check Please for the first, Glee for the second), and sure the hype around Ham was too big for anything to bear, but… yeah, I just really LOVE this canon, whatever its flaws, with so much heart, on so many levels.

* The staging!!!  I think means a lot here specificially cause I've heard all these songs dozens of times, mostly well over a year ago now, but - once in a while recently again, but in any case, I've done all my analysis picking over the songs, and they're inside me to a large extent.  Whereas much of the staging I only saw once, live.

* (And I had a close-up seat, then, which I paid lots of money for and felt Worth It, but I was so focused on the actors' faces, and so didn't read as much of the overall blocking as maybe I could have).

… anyway ….

"Alexander Hamilton"

* Alex taking off his white coat and putting on the brown coat Eliza gives him feels to me, this time, like he's leaving the world of the dead and coming to life.  Standing out from the crowd - of course - from the ensemble that's all wearing all-white - so he's Setting Out, etc., but also - they're back in all-white at the end, like ghosts.  So.  A sort of leaving the world outside time.

(Speaking of Eliza, there, I still always love the Eliza-Angelica-Laurens sequence in which they give Alex the coat, the book, and the bag.  MY SHIPSSS.  Such parallel!)

(And the bit where Washington's the one who's telling Alex he has to make something of himself! - I know I thought about and maybe posted about these things  back when the Grammy performance happened, but, Anyway.)

ALSO, also, 'you could never learn to take your time' being sung over Alex walking at a deliberately restrained pace to match the choreography on the bridge at the back of the stage so he comes down the stairs on the other side at the right time, is… funny.  Ha.  But the line's still true!  - And I just love how much the ensembles' dancing itself works as scenery.

"Aaron Burr, Sir"

* Alex is SO FUCKING EAGER it's RIDICULOUS he's like a PUPPY all like I CAN FRIEND!?!?

Burr may try to pretend he's not having it but he IS a BIT or he wouldn't invite Alex to have a drink etc. and… I love.

And then, every single time I hear the little line not-actually-exchange:

Burr: Fools who run their mouths off wind up dead

Laurens, in his first line in real time: What time is it?  (Showtime!)

Burr: Like I said…

I say, RUDE.

Although honestly - Burr is totally into Alex's ridiculous eagerness, like I said, he's coming closer, he admits something personal, he invites Alex out for a drink, it's not as obvious as Alex (cause he's just not) - and it's pretty RUDE ;), too of the revolutionary trio, from Burr's POV, to by their loudness and brashness and total lack of caution get in the middle of what was just shaping up to be possibly a Great Friendship.  So he can be forgiven for Harbinger of Dooming ;).

“My Shot” & "The Story of Tonight”

* As in most of Alex's interactions with the Gay Trio (Quartet!), I keep switching back and forth between LAMS IS REALLLL (it was, historically) (I wouldn't see it, though, I think, if I didn't know), and just ALEX IS A BI HUMAN DISASTER CUDDLING UP TO EVERY FRIEND HE MAKES.  Like, there's considerably More random arm-and-shoulder touching between Laurens and Alex than everyone else?  "You and I, do or die," (I do die!), and then they split up to each touch another dude, and in a slightly later verse Laurens is back again… oh, no, that 'back again' is "raise a glass to the four of us," BOTH TIMES, cause it has to be, ha.  You can say 'to the two of us,' Laurens, it's okay!  … But, like, otoh, "hard rock like Lancelot, I think your pants look hot, Laurens I like you a lot," is totally Alex flirting with these three dudes he just met all in the space of three lines.  It's great is what I'm saying.  Also Alex could use a positive setting towards people that's not 'will you be my friend and also get in my pants.'

The narrative of the song here, with the rest of the Revolutionary Quartet listening to Alex sceptically for his first few verses till they're impressed - I love the way that Laurens is his first and loudest and most consistent cheerleader ("shout it to the rooftops!"), hey, listen to this guy speak, the way that Alex LOOKS LIKE he's on a soapbox when he literally is, how that evokes the physicality of speaking to the crowd, and how his mind shoots three steps ahead of the present, and, yeah, okay, I just love the Alex/Laurens dynamic most of all, (cause I'm biased ;)), the way that Lauren's idealistic speaking ('raise a glass to freedom,' and, um, what was the start of his verse in My Shot?  whatever it was) makes Alex ~Look at him, and the way he's kinda just looking at Alex all the time.  Walking off arm-in-arm is SO they are together, okay.

(…. there are ten thousand more things in these songs, of course, but this is a post about My FEELINGS.)

“The Schuyler Sisters”

* The sibling back-and-forth dynamic here is just so freaking delightful to watch, it's so complicated, I can FEEL it.  Like, it feels like my sister and me (despite me only having the one)… Eliza going back and forth between Peggy and Angelica, how she's not just the middle sister in age, but she's trying to get Peggy to go along with Angelica's scheme, asking questions of and playing backup to Angelica, just - and the whole "mind at work" thing is perfect and Meaningful too, of course.  But what's harder to talk about here is the sibling dynamics, leading and restraining and following and conciliating, and it's displayed so well in the blocking and acting - and also, I can see how this Eliza falls for and enchants Alex.

Angelica has center stage for most of it, but I love the way Eliza takes center stage for a little bit - and when she does it's not about "work" anymore, but about HOW LUCKY WE ARE TO BE ALIVE RIGHT NOW, which feels kinda painfully and naively optimistic nowadays but… I do believe it's still true, in exactly the same way that I always did, in the same way that line works in the play, recurring even in the worst times.  We're lucky to be alive at any time - there's still so much good in the world, people to love, and work to do.  ("Joy is deliberate.")  And Eliza's pulling focus for a sec to be HEY GUYS ISN"T THIS SO MUCH FUN, before ceding it (joyfully, too, imo!) to Angelica's Things To Do!

Also the particular choreography of the way they three of them spin almost-in-place but trading places?  I can't even figure out what it is, but I'm obsessed with it permanently.

“Farmer Refuted"

* The way that Laurens, Mulligan, and Lafayette all cheer Alex on, and maybe try to restrain him a little, but mostly just cheer him on, is both super fun to watch, and even more fun if you have shipping goggles, so it turns into LOOK HOW GREAT OUR BOYFRIEND IS.  Fun!  I'm just saying.  Come for the story about ambition, stay for the compersion.

Also I would like to note with appreciation Laurens' arm around Aaron Burr at the start of this song, as well as his approach to Burr at the start of "My Shot" - like, dude, he totally had a thing for Burr before he met Alex, but Burr was Not Having it, too hotheaded!  Idk it just amuses me that's all.

And notice how Alex waits to jump in till he has his reply READY~, he's mile-a-minute, yes, but he takes the time he needs to PREPARE for that.

“You’ll Be Back”

* J. Groff is the one original cast member I didn't see, when I went to see the play live, and he is Really Delightful here.  Great play of the madness, the pouting, the playfulness that's actually danger, etc.  Only thing is that I always feel like those "da da da da" choruses sound like they ought to have a classic chorus line kick!  But you couldn't do that with a single person, it would just look ridiculous, and the single-ness vs. ensemble-ness of King George works so well for thematic reasons… but is it still ridiculous to say they have a chorus line kick SOUND in my head?  Because they do.

“Right Hand Man”

* I just love so much how they create an action scene in a song!!!  You might think it wouldn't work, but it DOES, all you need is a few lines describing the back-and-forth progress of a battle.  Just enough.

Why does Washington send Burr away?  You really can't tell!  And I think that works, that ambiguity, no one knows - Burr certainly doesn't know, so that feeling of unfairness festers.  But sometimes you're just not what someone wants, and I think history backs that up too…

That whole little sequence of "how come no one can get you on their staff" (it's one of those lines where the double entendre does really good work, cause WHAT IF he was saying that, right), from Hamilton asking "have I done something wrong, Sir," to making that Decision, with the chorus rising shouting in the background, "I am not throwing away my shot," but would taking the pen be taking the shot or throwing it away - it's the most fraught thing in the musical so far!  And that's a huge part of why I love this musical SO DAMN MUCH, in addition to the way it creates its own vernacular, the complex personal relationships, etc., is how the story of ambition and Doing The Work, is put above everything else.  A promotion with ambiguous risks and rewards Is the most fraught thing in life… the hardest decision to make… I love.  And how Alex wants to fight, and also he's wary of being under command in this particular way, but the moment, the very moment he takes the pen he's charging ahead nonstop again.  "Write to Congress, tell 'em we need supplies," of course all the work he does here is over-simplified, it'd have to be to fit in any way, but… getting support out of Congress was actually one of the more challenging aspects of the war, and something Alex worked on a lot!

Also I love the random shoulder-clasp between Alex and Laurens right before Washington announces Alex as his right-hand man, precisely because it's so seemingly purposeless, like… it's a congrats, man?  Sure.  But also we just have to touch each other at least once a song, it's like, required.  Thank <3.

And overall this whole number, Washington's entrance, etc., and… really just the whole play!  Yeah it's genuinely Quality, it's layered, you can talk about technical or literary aspects, but watching for the first time in A While and just being carried along by the spectacle as much as the story?  It's so Drama, so Extra, it's great.

... and this is only the first third or so of the first act, ha.  To be continued in another post.  Perhaps.

[fmlfpl]

Lineup Lamentations - GW23

Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s for the week!

—

WALSH

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Diego Rico

IN: Jack Stephens

I feel naked and alone without my Spanish lover Rico in my team anymore but it simply had to be so. I'm floating a transfer again this week and just doing a move to give me another cheapo defender who I can rotate. As shouted on the pod at 4.3 Jack seems like a good piece to have at the back until WC with their fixtures and strong underlying defensive numbers. There were certainly other more flair moves I could do but with two Livp in I am valuing the flexibility afforded with two frees ahead of their double to make a final decision about who to get in as the third and who to remove as well.

GK:

Schmeichel (bur)

Woodman the eternal continues to never let me down the legend.

Schmike, on the other hand, suddenly finds himself positioned between a goal frame, a sieve, and the enemy. Still too early to tell if no Ndidi just means they are diabolical but Burnley have been among the worst attacks in the division recently and no Smashley kinda fucks up their balance a lot.

Could see them snap back into form and just dispatch these in an easy win to nil. Hoping for it, anyway.

DEF:

Pereira (bur)

Somehow I still have Periera. He's been by far by farrrrr my worst transfer of the season but I always seem to find a reason to hold on to him and start him. It seems extremely unlikely he is in past this weekend so maybe he'll give me a farewell gift.

Alexander-Arnold (MUN)

Trent goes again nothing to say about that. Only guy I've had since GW1...well other than Woodman of course that sweet boy.

Stephens (WOL)

Jack new friend is put straight into the fire with home Wolves. Not a good on paper fixture but I could kinda see a clean here? Maybe? Not an ideal start, but he's the best option I have and when weighing him up against the other 4.4 defenders and under it looked like his near term fixtures were the best in how he can rotate with what else I've got.

Lundstram (ars)

Lastly is Pointstram.

Another not too great feeling start but also not too bad without Aubz.

Hard to imagine where an Arsecast goal can come from other than a p3p3ga set piece banger or something like this. Don't really feel like Wilder will have any trouble marking Laca out of the game. Pointstram also eye test wise looked a lot more involved in their attack last game so maybe that is a sign of things to come.

MID:

Martial (liv)

Unfortunately I'm going to have to eat a Tony M start here at Anfield. Feels not good but I still like him as a medium term hold despite the mixed fixtures.

Still don't really have any confidence that I know what a "good" fixture is for United attack anyway so I'm just blindly following the mantra of he's playing OOP striker on a top six team so he's a hold.

De Bruyne (CRY)

Kevin up against my boys this weekend we'll see if he's at DM or not. Don't really care though, honestly.

Salah (MUN)

Third mid is Mo. Good lad.

FWD:

Maupay (AVL)

Is this the weekend of Neal? Please Neal be a good Neal one time my son.

Scenic fixture...time to capitalize...or take 1 shot and blank again as per.

I want Neal to give me a sign of life so badly because I would really still like to hold him for the near term through these fixtures. Big game for him and I'll be watching him closely.

Vardy (bur)

Vardz still in there. Whatever.

Agüero (CRY)

Kun off his monster haul good job by Kun love Kun so much.

CAP:

Vardy (bur)

Sticking with Vardz as shouted on the pod.

I've really not gone to the Vardy cap well too often this season but he just seems like a very strong option against a really bad team with two really bad CBs and a really bad GK. I'd honestly be surprised if he doesn't double return.

—

ALON

TRANSFERS:

OUT: N/A

IN: N/A

When in doubt float your fuckin’ transfer...

I had a really brutal week and especially today, Friday, long and tough day.

No idea what I want to do but having two frees and a boatload of cash for next week seems really fun / good.

I’ll probably get rocked in the Cup this week by fuckin Wiscker by just rolling the same crew out again after last week’s bloodbath but maybe with my two frees and a pocket full of change I can roar back in the final two group matches and go through... It works out in my head at least...

GK:

Ryan (AVL)

Great fixture and a great fixture run so come on Mat gimme some points.

DEF:

van Dijk (MUN)

Everything says that this should be an easy Liverpool win and an easy Liverpool clean but who knows it’s still a derby...

United are absolutely terrible on set plays they have conceded the third most in the league and Liverpool have scored the tied for second most int he league so make of that what you will... VVDue? VVDong?

Söyüncü (bur)

Hoping for a Soy redemption song this week after that very sloppy mess of a match lass week... Burnley are very much there for the taking so go on SoyBoy.

Lundstram (ars)

I sleeper think that this is a great fixture... ok maybe great is an exaggeration because it’s not a ~banker~ but with how Arsenal’s been playing lately - very few shots and not much xG or sustained attack - plus no Aubz it just seems very cleanable and winnable for Sheff U from where I’m sitting. 

MID:

Salah (MUN)

Funny cheeky little interview he gave. Mo’s a good guy.

De Bruyne (CRY)

Easy keep.

Maddison (bur)

Time for a bounce-back from Leicester no fucking around. Maddo was such a steady tick merchant for me back in the good ole days I just want to taste that success again.

Sarr (tot)

Not a good fixture but definitely not a bad one either.

Sarr and Watty have been looking fabulous and will cause Spurs tons of problems for me.

Cantwell (BOU)

Lastly going for Big Todd Energy over Jiménez this week (feel free to thank me Jim owners) becaaaauuuuuseeeee just I don’t know gut feeling and shit.

Jim has been an extremely upsetting transfer in for me and I shouted Wolves being tired and bad and then they go out and lose to Man. Utd. in the cup with Jim playing the full 90′.

Also Jim has away Southampton which is now a really rough fixture so whatever I’m going for it here... Todd should fuck Eddie’s Bourney.

FWD:

Only the two FWDs for me this week since I’m benching Jimboy.

Vardy (bur)

Another in my triple leicester to bounce back -- what a chance for it !

Calvert-Lewin (whu)

I still believe in DCL and I had to defend the pick a little bit here and there this week and honestly it just made me feel better about it. And the fixture is fantastic. DCL gonna bang.

CAP:

Vardy (bur)

Just don’t really have another option who I think is nearly as good a cap. pick as Vardz is this week and it’s as simple as that...

If it’s close then maybe you go differential cap but if it’s not close I think you just cap the guy who everyone else is capping. Here we are.

Soz for a not exciting Lambs from me this week lol.

—

RANDOM SLACKER OF THE WEEK: dave (group 19)

The words of Random Slacker are not officially endorsed by this website nor any employees of FML FPL LLC.

TRANSFERS:

DISCLAIMER: I AM VERY BAD AT FPL AND YOU SHOULD NOT LISTEN TO ANYTHING I SAY!

Fun fact: I was the person who suggested random slacker lambs earlier in the season to the pod bois. That was a time when my team was ticking along and I was optimistic about rising up the ranks over the course of the season.

Now I am in the depths of darkness and have zero expectations for my team other than red arrows and I am bad and shit at FPL and you shouldn’t even bother reading this because I’m shit. Unless you want to feel better about yourself, that is (I’m 1.5m so if you’re lower than that then I’m truly sorry – you’ll probably overtake me soon).

At least I have the FML FPL Cup to focus all my energy on. Speaking of which...

To my opponent this week, Rob, and the rest of Group 19, Jon and Max: Fuck you. I’m going to destroy you. I don’t care about my OR anymore. This is all that matters to me. (Jk prob will get 0 points and crash out in the group stage – good luck lads).

OUT: Serge Aurier

IN: Lewis Dunk

I have 2FTs but I’m just going for a fairly passive and hopefully more sensible move. When Mou became Spuds’ manager I had hopes that the defence would significantly improve (I even doubled up on their defence – oops), but alas they are still shipping goals for fun and now the child Tanganga is in the mix potentially threatening Aurier’s minutes after a decent right back performance mid-week. So just fucking him off to a similarly priced guy with good fixtures for the foreseeable future, on a team that actually appears to be capable of keeping the occasional clean sheet.

Going to roll the other FT to give me a little more flexibility next GW to increase my share of Liverpool players to at least 2. Probably will take a hit to get up to 3.

GK:

Guaita (mci)

Probably the worst fixture of the season for a defender or GK; City have several potent, in-form attacking options and could easily put up 4 or 5 (albeit Palace have been fairly solid for large portions of the season).

Just hoping Victor Vincente can pick up some some save points, a Kun pen save or two would be very welcome as a non-owner…

DEF:

Dunk (AVL)

Brighton looking very good this season generally under Graham Potter and cleaning the odd game here and there. Decent chance for one against an out of sorts Villa. Go on new friend Lewis.

Söyüncü (bur)

Soyboy has been a staple of my team for quite some time. Leicester always a shout for a clean. However, Burnley are one of those teams where I can never predict how they’re going to perform week to week, so I’m not banking on a clean by any means.

Sidibe (whu)

Difficult to predict how this one will go as West Ham are still a bit of an unknown quantity to me under new / old manager Moyseh.

Sidibe is the guy I’ll likely transition into a Liverpool defender next week but maybe he gets another go at RW this week with Richarlison confirmed out. Would be nice to get some OOP attacking farewell returns from him.

MID:

De Bruyne and Sterling (CRY)

Should just be a fuckfest for City (soz Walsh). Raz getting fairly frustrating to own but I’m keeping the faith for now.

Mané (MUN)

Another one of those games that you never know what to expect. Even while United were the dominant English team and Liverpool were complete piss, they always seemed to be able to show up for this match and up results. Could the shoe be on the other foot now? After all Utd are the only team Liverpool haven’t beaten so far this season in the PL. But I digress. Mane is obviously an auto-start in any fixture and Liverpool are the clear favourites in this one for good reason.

Maddison (bur)

He’s an absolute cunt imo. Very punchable face too. But he has undoubtedly been a very good FPL pick this season thus far. So go on James.

FWD:

Calvert-Lewin (whu)

2 blanks on the trot but I’m not too worried. Still think he’s great, Carlo loves him and the price is right.

Abraham (new)

Tammy back in the points lately so feels fine to hold for now. Fixtures turning to shit imminently so possibly one to monitor and maybe move on soon.

Vardy (bur)

Earlier in the season I was looking at Vardy’s stats vs. goals/assists output; I convinced myself it was unsustainable and that he would “revert to the mean” (that’s something us wankers who have no fucking clue about how underlying stats translate into FPL points say to kid ourselves that we know what we’re talking about).

It’s now clear that he is just a guy who you hold indefinitely because his points continue to roll in week after week after week.

CAP:

Sterling (CRY)

Call me an idiot.

Call me a glutton for punishment.

I capped Raz last week thinking he might just be a stroke of genius differential pick. Needless to say, that went poorly (0 mins with DCL VC, RIP). But fuck it. He goes again. I love Raz. Raz is great. He’s due – isn’t he?

Ultimately I’m just a guy who wants to get some fucking points on the board. Wish me luck.