#and he went to school for marine biology but switched to writing almost immediately because he’s bad at math

[show-choir-gal]

"Smart Talk" Zach Dempsey Imagine

Requested by anon on Tumblr: "Hellooo c: could you write a fic on zach dempsey from 13 reasons why? Specifically the reader being a biology nerd and has aspirations of becoming a doctor some day, and zach being interested in her because he wants to be a marine biologist? Thanks! Love your blog btw ^^"

A/N: Heyo! I just wanted to pop in and see how y'all were doing and to say that I kind of switched it up and made the reader want to be a biochemist when she graduated so I hope you don't mind that little change! I cried writing this, so I’m sorry if you cry too

Warnings: mentions of death due to disease, absolutely sad backstory about a father with ALS

Word Count: 6,624

Guide: Y/N - Your Name Y/L/N - Your Last Name

Masterlist of Mastelists

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The first day of school was always filled with nerves and excitement. But I am new, and a sophomore and that didn't make this transfer any easier. I had moved away from Ohio with my mum at the beginning of the summer, my father passed away after a long and tough battle with ALS. I'm 16 now, he was diagnosed when I just about turned 10. He always wanted to live in California, it was his dream to have a beach house with just the three of us. I was always his little girl. Even when his ALS progressed, he was always working so hard to stay as long as he could. He was such a fighter. Mum and him worked hard on finding a house in California before he would pass, get to live out his dream. We had found a house, the house mum and I now live in, a year ago but had to finalise the selling of our other house before we could move. But that hope soon cam tumbling down due to my father quickly getting worse. We were so close to moving, but it got put on hold. He was deteriorating faster than ever before and it was hard to watch the fighter I once knew look so defeated. Before he lost the ability to speak he told us, "Well if Stephen Hawking can do it, so can I." He was always so strong in front of me and mum, but we knew better. Every day after school I went to my dads hospital room and told him about my day and school and do my homework with him. I came in one day, a big smile on my face as I looked him in the eye and said, "I know what I want to be when I grow up dad. I want to be a Biochemist. I want to make medicine that will help you and the others that come after you. I want to do this for you dad." He smiled as best as he could and got out a shaky, "I love you so much", and then he couldn't speak after that. As days turned to weeks, he just got worse and worse. We had the hope that he could wait until after Christmas, but there were no Christmas miracles this time. He passed away the day before Christmas eve, and I was heartbroken. My dad, my biggest supporter was now gone. Gone but never forgotten. I held his cold hand before the coroner and doctors shuffled him away from us and said through broken sobs and tear stained cheeks, "I'm going to make a medicine that cures ALS. I'm going to make it for you, daddy. I love you so much." I finished the rest of the year and we finalised the selling of our, now old, house and we made the flight to California. A few weeks in and we were finally settling and making this house our new home. I sat out on our enclosed balcony with a cup of tea and cozied up in my hammock chair. I listened to the birds chirping as I took a sip of my tea. My mum came out a few moments later with her own cup of tea and we both stared upon the city for what seemed like an eternity until I decided to break the silence, "Dad would've loved it here." "Yes he would've sweetheart. Yes he would."

Mum drove me in for the first day, mainly because she wanted to pick me up especially if I had a rough first day. We had our usual conversations and I went over my schedule out loud with her. "Honours Chemistry AND Honours Biology huh? Why didn't you get put in the AP sections of those?" Mum asked, noticeably a little insulted that I wasn't placed in the AP classes. "Relax mum, they don't allow sophomores taking AP classes, and this was the best I was getting with them. I could've gotten regular Bio and Chem." I reassured her. She reluctantly calmed down as she pulled up to a parking spot in front of the school. Mum kissed me on the cheek and said our 'I love you's' as I got out of the car and headed up to the front of the building. I tried to blend in and just seem normal. My first class was English so I immediately made my way to the classroom located in the second floor. I sat in the front row like I always had in my previous schools. The teacher went through attendance and stopped on me, "Y/N Y/L/N? Are you the new student?" The teacher asked. "Yes I am ma'am" I replied, all eyes on me. "I was wondering if you would be here today! Please come up in front of the class and introduce yourself! Say your name, where you moved from, and your favourite book." I made quickly got up and walked the short distance to be next to the teacher. "Well, I'm Y/N. I moved here from a small town in Ohio at the beginning of the summer, and my favourite book is The Theory of Everything by Famous theoretical physicist, cosmologist Stephen Hawking." I said to the class with a smile. "That's interesting Miss Y/L/N! And why is that your favourite book?" "I look up to Mr.Hawkings work and I want to be a Biochemist." "That's quite interesting. You may sit down now dear." She said with a smile as she started to clap, the rest of the class followed suit. I sat down and the girl next to me tapped my shoulder, "Nice to meet you. I'm Jessica. I think we could be great friends!" She said with a smile on her face. We talked after class and she said she would meet me after my Bio class to have lunch with me. I'm so relieved to have a friend, or someone I can consider a friend at least. It's still early to tell. Next up I had maths, and pretty much the same thing happened with going in front of the class and explaining who I was. I was pretty much creating and reading a script for the beginning of every class. After maths I had my Honours Biology class. I sat at the work bench like I normally did, as I watched all the students pour in they all looked so much older than I did. The class began at the ring of the bell and the same thing happened like all the other classes before me. I made my way up to the front of the classroom and smiled as I introduced myself, "I'm Y/N, I moved here from a small town in Ohio at the beginning of the summer and I'm a sophomore. An-" "A sophomore? I don't normally have sophomores in my class." The teacher interrupted me, and I just gave an "are you serious?" look and some of the class laughed. "Yes, the school wouldn't let me take AP Biology and AP Chemistry so I had to even fight to get honours." I replied. "AP Bio and AP Chem? What would you want with those courses? They're pretty difficult on their own, let alone together." I cleared my throat, "I want to be a Biochemist." "And where would your concentration lie?" "Degenerative diseases." "Wow that's incredible Miss Y/L/N! I look forward to seeing your work. You may sit down." I took my seat and a few of the "nerdy" kids started to chat me up and we all had a great conversation about what we wanted to do in the future. The bell rang and almost immediately Jessica was outside my classroom waiting for me. "Honours Biology? Girl, you've got to give me your study tips!" We walked to the lunchroom as she talked my ear off about the school and everything I would need to know. We sat down at a table and a boy joined us, him and Jess kissed and then a bunch of other guys started to swarm the table we were at. "Y/N this is Justin, my boyfriend! Justin this is-" "You're Y/N! We have maths together." Justin said as he stuck his hand out. Justin started to introduce me to all the boys at the table, all his teammates on the basketball team. "Y/N why did you move here all the way from uhm..." Jess started to ask. "Ohio." I replied with a chuckle. "Right! Why did you move here from Ohio?" All eyes were on me now and I smiled just thinking of the memory of my dad, "I moved here because my dads dream was to move out to California with my mum and I." "Oh that's so sweet! Why did he want to move out here?" She asked. The smile fell from my face and just the thought started to burn my eyes, "That's a bit of a touchy subject. Can we not talk about that?" "Oh my God of course! I'm sorry, I didn't know girly." She said as she shot me a reassuring smile and rubbed my knee. Eventually I went to the rest of my classes and met some really great people. I knew I had nothing to worry about, it seems like I'll fit in perfectly. The dismissal bell rang and I made my way to my locker. I got all my stuff I needed and closed my locker, Jess was standing right next to my locker with Justin. "Did you have a good first day?" She asked. "It was great, especially because of you. Thank you for like, accepting me and being nice. And thank you as well Justin." I said with a smile. "That's great! We definitely need to keep in touch, hand me your phone and I'll give you my number so we can hang out soon!" She said enthusiastically as she took my phone from me and punched her number in. Her and Justin walked off and waved and said their goodbyes and we parted ways. I made my way to mums car. I placed my backpack in the backseat and hopped into the front and we drove off. "So..?" Mum started. "It was great! I already made a bunch of friends and they're all so nice there!" "That's awesome honey! Celebratory dinner tonight? And you can tell me absolutely everything, you can even spill all the deets!" "Ew mum, don't ever say that again!" I said as I joking slapped at her arm. "What?! I have to stay hip somehow!" We both erupted into a fit of laughter. "Oh by the way, the piano got to the house and is all tuned." Mum said, almost full of sorrow. That night we went out to a fancy restaurant a few towns over and I told her everything about my day and how excited I was for school and making new friends.

A month has passed and I've settled in quite nicely in Crestmont. It was a Friday and Jess is sleeping over for the first time. We quickly became really close friends, I even would say she is my best friend. My mum picked us up from school and I showed her around my house. "This house is so beautiful Mrs.Y/L/N!" Jess said in awe. "I'm glad you like it, you're always welcome here sweetheart!" My mum replied with a smile. Jess picked up a picture of my mum, my dad, and I when I was about 11. She examined it. "Awe Y/N you look so adorable! Is this your dad?" She asked, pointing to the man in the photograph. "Yeah, but that's an older photo of him." "Do you have any more recent photos of him?" "Of course!" I said as I lead her to the living room where a lot of the newer photos of him were. She examined them quite closely, noticing his state of being deteriorating, she was confused. I brought her out on the balcony and she sat in the hammock chair right next to mine. "Where is your dad?" She asked and then looked like she wanted to take it back. I grabbed her hand and smiled, "No no, don't worry about it. It's okay to ask!" I replied with a warm smile, "He passed away right before last Christmas. He had ALS." "Y/N I'm so sorry for your loss." "Jess it's okay. He was a great guy and a great dad." "Is this why you didn't want to talk about it on the first day?" "Yeah, it's just a touchy subject especially since we planned to move out here with him." I told her the whole story, everything. I was comfortable enough around her to tell her. And she listened and took it all in. I reassured her I was as okay as I could be even though some days were better than others and she understood. We headed up the stairs toward my room when she spotted the baby grand piano at the top of our stairs. "Wow this is beautiful! Do you play?" She asked, awestruck by the beautiful Yamaha piano in front of her. "I guess. My dad was the one who played and he gave me lessons and so now when I want to feel closer to him I just play and play until I feel okay." "You're one tough cookie, could you play something for me?" I smiled and pulled out the bench and immediately started to play Op. 28: III. Vivace G Major by Chopin as it was a relatively fast lively piece. I lifted my hands from the piano and her jaw was on the ground. "Girly I didn't know this! You NEED to play in the orchestra! They would love you!" She exclaimed as she brought me in for a hug. The night was great and I finally felt normal again, I felt like a normal high schooler with a normal life. And man did it feel good to feel normal again.

Monday rolled around and Jess dragged me down to the music hall to talk with the orchestra teacher. I played the same piece I did for Jess and the teacher looked beyond impressed with my playing. "Some of the best piano playing I've seen from a student in years! I would love to have you in the orchestra Miss Y/L/N!" Jess and I walked out of the music hall and screamed and jumped and hugged. "I'm so excited for you! I'll go to all the practices and concerts I can!" Jess promised as she stuck her pinky out "And I will go to as many cheer practices and games as I can!" I replied and interlocked our pinkies as we made a pinky promise. And both of us kept our promises. As long as I didn't have to tutor someone or practice, I was in the stands supporting my best friend, even doing her hair for her. As long as she didn't have practice or homework, she was at orchestra rehearsal.

Mid-November rolled around and so did basketball and other winter sports, but that also meant mid terms were fast approaching. In biology, we were doing a partner project and our teacher chose our partner. The rest of the class groaned, but I had gotten 100's all year so I didn't see an issue with it. He read off the names in alphabetical order by last name. "Zach Dempsey and Y/N Y/L/N" My head turned to look at Zachs face to judge how he felt, and he had a smile so wide it stretched from ear to ear, which made me smile as well as blush. After partners were announced we all moved to sit next to our partners, I got up and sat next to him. "Well look who we have here, the smartest girl in this school paired up with me." He said with a slight chuckle. "I wouldn't say I'm that smart. More like, I'm just determined to do really well...all the time." I said with a chuckle. We started to plan our project and then suddenly the bell rang. I was about to get up when Zach gently grabbed my arm, "Can I have your number? So we can plan our project?" "Oh, of course. Why didn't I think of that?" I wrote my number down on the top of his project syllabus and waved goodbye as I headed to my locker. I had one more class before I met up with Jess to do her hair before her short practice so they can get ready for the game. I had a free period next so I headed down to the music hall so I could practice. I walked by the teachers office and he ushered me in to talk to me. "Y/N, how would you feel about doing 4 solos for the concert?" He asked, not looking up from the program he was trying to make. "I would love to!" "Great! I'll have you start off the very beginning of the concert with a short but fast piece, we'll have a few group pieces and other solos and then you end the first half with another short but fast piece. Does that sound good?" He asked, I nodded. "Then you can start the second half with a long and slow piece, sprinkle in a few group pieces and a few other solos, then you'll have you last piece which is pretty slow and long as well, and then finish off with our group closing piece? Sound good?" "That sounds great sir! Can I ask one thing though?" "Of course, what's on your mind?" "Could I dedicate the last piece I play to my dad and have a picture of him with me at the concert? It's okay if not, I just figured I should ask." "Of course you can. Don't be silly to ask for something like that. The counselor told me about what happened. I'm so sorry for your loss and I would be honoured to have you dedicate your last solo to your father." He reassured with a smile. I started to leave the room, "Thank you Mr.Blanc! I'll be in the auditorium in you need me." "Y/N, just make sure to get me your sheet music with the order you're performing them in as soon as possible." "You got it!" I nearly shouted as I opened the side door to the auditorium to turn on all the stage lights. I practically came down here every free period I had unless I was working on Zach and I's project. It was always so calm and quiet and made me feel like my dad was still there with me. I made my way over to stage left and pulled the piano out into the centre of the stage. I sat down and just started to play piano covers of popular songs before I started to try figure out what I was actually playing for the concert. I just wanted to calm down from my exams I had today. I decided to just wait and ask Jess which songs I should pick before the first game of the basketball season occurred tonight. I went from Fantasie Impromptu by Chopin to Flight of the Bumblebee before I noticed anyone else was in the auditorium with me. I heard a throat clear which made me jump, I looked up from the piano and it was Jess and Justin. "I didn't mean to scare ya." Jess said with a chuckle, "Justin and I were making out in the back and you couldn't see us but Justin really wanted to watch you play especially after that really fast one." Justin nodded his head in agreement. "Aww, I'm flattered!" I said with a smile. I went down my arsenal of some of the toughest songs to play on piano, Moonlight Sonata, Little Red Riding Hood, Etude Op. 10 No. 4, La Campanella, and ending with Hungarian Rhapsody. I looked at the two who tried to keep up with my hands, Jess had a smirk on her face when she saw Justin's jaw on the floor. "I told you she was good." Jess said, almost cockily. Her and I laughed and before Justin could even say a word, the dismissal bell rang. "I'll meet you in the locker room Jess, I have to put a few things away in my locker." I waved to Justin sense I wasn't going to see him until later in the afternoon. I put my stuff in the locker and shut the door and headed downstairs, I headed toward the locker rooms where Zach caught up to me. "Good luck at the game tonight!" I said with a wide smile. "Thank you! Are you going to be there?" He asked. "Of course! I promised Jess and Justin that I would always be at the games." His face lit up like a Christmas tree, "Awesome! I'll see you later then." He said as he rubbed my arm. I thought his action was strange but just chalked it up to him being friendly. California is different from Ohio after all. I entered the locker room and greeted all the other girls when I took my place next to Jess. We told each other about our days while she changed into her practice gear. I told her how I was given 4 solos for the concert and she was so excited, maybe more excited than I was. "Oh my God that's amazing! I'll invite everyone so that can see how amazing you are!" She jumped up and down as she hugged me. We chatted our way into the gym and I took my usual spot on the bleachers and watched the practice go on like usual. I finished up my homework for the night just as they had finished practicing for the game tonight. I headed out and stood by the lockers and waited for Jess. As soon as she came out she grabbed my arm and practically skipped the entire way to the auditorium. I took my seat on the piano and told her my ideas and played them in the order I would play them at the concert. She wasn't too keen on a few of my pieces so I switched them with similar pieces and those seemed to fit like a glove. "Those! All of them! They're perfect!" She said with a huge smile on her face. We headed to the library and I photocopied my pieces and labelled them and dropped them off at Mr.Blanc's office. We had some free time before she had to get ready for the game so we just walked around and chatted. "How's your bio project going?" Jess asked as we walked around the football field. "Great! Zach and I are pretty close to being done." I replied as we passed the bleachers. "Basketball Zach? Like, Zach Dempsey?" "Yeah...why?" "Oh, nothing. I just didn't expect you to pick him as a partner." "Mr. LaPierre paired us, but he looked fine with it so I didn't mind." Jess was silent for what felt like a few minutes. "Jess, is everything alright?" "Yeah, I was just thinking about the other day when Zach was talking to Justin about a girl in his biology class he was crushing on." "Awe that's cute! She's lucky, he's a smart kid." "She's probably jealous of you Y/N. I just don't want you to get hurt. Because if she hurts you, many people will hurt her." Jess winked as she nudged me. "I have a perfect grade in the class, it seemed like everyone wanted to be my partner." I winked back. "Okay smarty pants, let's get back so I can get ready and you can help me with my hair." We both giggled and walked back into the school. I grabbed a seat on the bleachers right behind where Jess normally sits. The cheerleaders started to file in along with the basketball players. I was too busy looking for her hair ties and brush in my bag to notice her and a few of the basketball players walk in. I found her brush just as she sat down in front of me. I brushed through her silky hair and parted it down the middle.I looked up to a pair of soft brown eyes staring at me, they belonged to Zach. I shot him a smile and a wave before I returned to Jess' hair. I braided her hair into two tight Dutch braids. I secured the last one and put her brush back in my bag. The bleachers were filling up pretty fast when I was done. The players were back in the locker room so they could make their entrance in front of the whole student body. The cheerleaders were just about to head onto the court when Jess turned to me and waved to my mum who appeared suddenly next to me. "Hi Mrs.Y/L/N! Glad you could come!" Jess said as she hugged my mum. "Of course sweetie! I couldn't miss out on cheering on Y/N's best friend!" My mum replied with a smile. "Knock 'em dead Tiger!" I said as I hugged her before she made her way onto the court to welcome our team onto the court. Each player erupted one by one, and suddenly Zach emerged and he searched the stands and then his eyes landed on me and he waved and smiled in my direction. I smiled and blushed back. My mum tapped my leg and I moved my ear closer to her where she whispered, "Is that him? The boy in your biology class?" I nodded to her question and blushed deeper. The game started and Zach and I would steal glances at each other every now and again, nothing to major...or so I thought.

It was now the week before the Winter Concert, but Zach and I needed to finish up the prep for our project. We were in the library alone after school working on the final prep we needed before we could call the project 'finished'. A few hours had passed and we finished up the last component, but we finished earlier than expected so we started to finalise the project. We were finally done, and we were early. That's not a bad thing though, nothing wrong with finishing early. I was putting my stuff away when Zach cleared his throat, I zipped my bag and looked at him. "What do you want to be when you graduate?" He asked. I smiled, "I want to be a biochemist." "Why?" "Do you want the real answer or the short one I use to not have serious questions?" "The real one." I took a deep breath and then exhaled, "Because of my dad." "Why don't you talk about him? You avoided it when we first met." "It's just a touchy subject, that's all." "Can we talk about it? I want to get to know you more." I was shocked at his response, but it's fair since we've worked a lot together this year. "He passed away almost a year ago. Right before Christmas, to be exact." "I-I'm so sorry Y/N." I took his hand in mine, "It's okay, we expected it. He had ALS. He was diagnosed when I just turned 10 and he's the reason I'm here. He wanted to move to California before he passed." "We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. I would understand." He said as he gently swiped his thumb back and forth against the back of my hand. "Honestly, it's okay. I'm not ashamed, he was and still is my hero. He was deteriorating slowly so we thought we had time. We bought the house and just had to wait on our other house to sell so we could move. But about Septemberish of last year he went downhill quite fast. So, plans got pushed back as he got treatment. He was always so strong, as supported me even when he didn't want to admit that he couldn't really support himself. Some of the last words he said were "If Stephen Hawking can do it, so can I." which is also why I lookup to Dr.Hawking so much. I want to be a biochemist because of him, for him. I want to find the cure to ALS." Zach was staring in awe. I stood up and he stood up and pulled me into a bear hug. A hug of solidarity, a hug of understanding. We both pulled away and looked into each others eyes and smiled. He looked away and grabbed his things. "I'll drive you home." He said as he motioned for me to follow him. "Oh, you don't have to." "I know, but I want to." We made it to his car and he pulled out of the parking lot and opened up to me. "I want to be a marine biologist." He said. We talked about his aspirations and life on the way to my house. He parked outside and I hugged him. "Thank you. It's great seeing others be themselves too." I said as I pulled away. His arm moved behind me and rubbed my back and he started to lean in and so I leaned in as well but we were interrupted by my mum yelling my name. We both laughed and I got out of the car and waved goodbye and headed into my house. I watched as he drove away.

The day of the concert arrived, and the whole school day was just a blur. The dismissal bell and I headed to my locker where I was greeted by Jess. "What's the plan for today?" She asked with a huge smile. "Well, the group pieces are going to get a run through, then the solos, and then we get to get ready." I replied grabbing my music bag out of my locker and we headed to the auditorium which was pretty much already set up for the concert tonight. Jess sat front row. The group numbers were rehearsed, then solos, and then I had to get ready. Jess and I headed to the locker room. I changed into a long sleeved black maxi dress with my mums pearl necklace. I put my hair half-up half-down and Jess straightened my hair and chatted me up. "There's going to be a big surprise for you at the concert. All because of moi" She said as she smiled. "Should I thank you now or later?" I asked. "Def later." She said as she scrunched her nose and raspberried me. We laughed and chatted until she finished my hair and I finished my light makeup. I put my stuff away in my bag and we both walked over to the auditorium. People we already shuffling into the auditorium. I took out the framed picture of my dad before I let Jess go off and I get ready backstage. "He would be so proud of you." "You think so?" "I KNOW so. Break a leg out there." Jess said as she hugged me and we went out separate ways.

*THIRD PERSON* Jess waited until she saw Mrs. Y/L/N. She rushed over and hugged her. "I have a plan." Jess began to tell Mrs. Y/L/N her whole plan. Jess bought a bunch of flowers so everyone could give her something in support. She explained how she got all of the cheerleaders and basketball to come and support her. Mrs. Y/L/N was almost brought to tears, not truly grasping how quickly and wholeheartedly her daughter was loved at this school. Jess and Y/N's mother sat in the front row by the piano on stage left. Jess looked back every now and again to check to see if her plan would be followed through. And just like that, the cheerleaders and basketball players shuffled in and sat in the first three rows by the piano. Zach sat next to Jess. "Mrs. Y/L/N, this is Zach." Y/N's mum reached out her hand, "Are you her biology partner? She always talks about you. She really likes you, ya know?" Jess chuckled and placed the palm of her hand over her mouth while Zach blushed, the whole team started to be all "Bro we told you she liked you back. You have nothing to worry about." In between laughs Jess responded, "I don't think she wanted you to tell him that Mrs. Y/L/N." "Oop, you're probably right sweetie. I'm sorry to embarrass you Zach. I got really excited when she told me she likes you." "No no, it's okay Mrs. Y/L/N. I'm flattered because I really like here too." A few more minutes passed and it was time for the concert to start. *END THIRD PERSON*

The concert was about to start and I just held the picture of my dad closer. My teacher and conductor was doing his introductory statement before we all came out of the wing of stage right and into our places. I walked across the stage and spotted...all of them. Mum, Jess, Zach, everyone I grew closer with this past semester. A smile drew across my face as I saw my mum first, almost in tears already, and then to Jess, and then to Zach who shot me a wink and my heart could've fluttered out of my chest. I placed the photo of my dad on the piano at an angle so both me and the audience could see it. I heard my mum gasp and then cry a little at the picture, which made me tear up a little. We did the classic orchestral warm up before I spoke into the microphone right in front of the piano. "My first solo piece is Op. 28: XII. Presto in G Sharp Major composed by Frederic Chopin." I took my place at the piano and played the one minute long piece. I took my hands off the piano and bowed in my seat. We had a few classical group pieces followed by a few solos and then a few pop songs arranged for the orchestra like Without You and Fight Song/Amazing Grace and Tour De France. I was the last solo for the first part of the concert, I once again stepped in front of the microphone to announce my solo, "My second solo piece is Op. 28: XVI. Presto con fuoco in B flat minor also composed by Frederic Chopin." I took my place at the piano for a second time and played the other one minute long piece. I took my hands off the piano and we all stood up and bowed and walked off as it was announced that there was a 15 minute break. I took the opportunity to use the bathroom and relax a little. My fellow peers were complimenting me left and right and I did the same back. The 15 minutes were almost up and we took our seats once again. Once I got my cue, I went up to the microphone and announced my third piece, "My third solo piece is Op. 28: IV. Largo in E minor also composed by Frederic Chopin." I once again took my place at the piano and played the two minute long sorrowful piece. I played with much more emotion than I did in the first half of the concert. I took my hands off the piano and bowed in my seat. More group pieces and solos and finally it was my last solo and my longest. I walked up and grabbed the picture of my dad, "Before I announce my final solo piece, I want to take the time and dedicate this to my dad. I lost my dad almost a year ago to ALS or Lou Gherig's as most of you may know it as. He was a wonderful pianist and he's the one who taught me how to play. Not a day goes without me thinking about him or playing a song to remember him. I came rushing into his hospital room one day just ecstatic and I told him, "I want to be a biochemist when I grow up. I want to help people like you." And the day he passed away, I held his hand and promised I would be the one to discover the cure for ALS. And I intend on keeping that promise. My final solo piece was his favourite to play for my mum and I, Op. 28: XV. Sostenuto in D flat major." I placed his picture back on the piano, but fully facing me this time. I wiped the few tears I had running down my cheeks already from before as I looked over and saw her sobbing into Jess who also tearing up along with Zach and everyone else. I looked up at my teacher and peers who were all wiping tears away. He motioned for them to stand and the audience soon followed. I played with more emotion and drive than I knew I even had. I played the piece with passion. I made it about 2 minutes in before the tears started to roll down my face as I played with pure love and passion. I hit the last chord lighter than I thought was even possible. I sat for a few seconds to just absorb the moment. I stood up to bow and noticed I had a standing ovation. I shed a few tears before we all sat down and played our final piece. The concert was over and we all bowed and hugged each other. I grabbed my dads picture and whispered, "I did it daddy, for you." before I went to get my bags and head to my mum, I left the music hall and found Jess who ran to me with flowers. "I knew you were going to be amazing!" She lead me to the people I have grown close to and they all had flowers for me. "Here's your surprise! I told you they all had to hear how amazing you are!" They all were giving me a flower or two and telling me how amazing I was, but then there was my mum who still had tears streaming down her face. We hugged in silence for what seemed like an eternity. Jess took my bags off me and grabbed the flowers so I could hug my mum even closer. We let go and all that was left was Zach who held a huge bouquet in his arms. He gave them to me and I thanked him. He was in awe. I let out a giggle as I gave Jess the bouquet and wrapped my arms around his neck and his hands went around my waist. "Wow, that was just- wow." He barely even got that out of his mouth, he started to lean down but I told him to hold on. I looked over at my mum, "Mum are you going to interrupt this kiss?" "No, not this time sweetheart." I looked toward Zach who had a huge smile on his face, I returned the smile, "Alright, it's go big or go home." Zach, almost like he had rehearsed this very moment, held me tighter and dipped me and kissed me. Our lips crashed and the world felt still, it was just us in that moment. Just us, in love.

[deanogarbage]

find me in the drift (FiKi)

FiKi Week Day 4: Science Fiction or Fantasy.

Anyone who knows me knows that Pacific Rim has slowly consumed my life and I am trapped in the perpetual hellscape that is Newmann. So of course I’m going to pick sci-fi and finally write my Pacific Rim AU that I’ve told @safarikalamari that I’m going to write for over a year. I wrote this in one sitting again like a crazy person.

If you’ve never watched Pacific Rim, I tried to explain the best I could within the fic so watching the movie isn’t necessary but it sure would help. Plus I need more people to join in the sadness of Newmann.

Pairing: Fili/Kili Rating: T Words: 2k-ish Summary: Pacific Rim AU. K-Scientist Killian Durin is thrust into a new position when his uncle is injured and his brother needs his help. The drift reveals some things.

2025. Hong Kong Shatterdome.

Other worldly creatures, known as the Kaiju, have been terrorizing cities on the Earth’s Pacific Rim for nearly ten years. The human world has not sat idly by and let these monsters destroy the world. Jaegers, large human operated robots, have become the saving grace of the world. These Jaegers are each powered by two human pilots through a neurologically controlled processed called the Drift. The Drift allows the pilots to move in sync to operate the Jaeger, but not just any two people are able to drift. A compatibility process is necessary. Jaeger pilots often being siblings or lovers. While the Jaegers, their pilots, and the science around them are important, there are also scientists dedicated to understanding the Kaiju and how to help the Jaeger pilots find their weaknesses and eradicate them for good.

Dr. Killian “Call me, Kili” Durin was one of the leading K-scientists in the world. He held several doctorates in several fields of biology having gone to and taught at some of the most prestigious universities of the world.

While he was proud of his job and the research he had provided toward the Kaiju Wars, he was still the black sheep of the family overall.

Back when the Kaiju had first attacked ten years prior, his two uncles became the heroes of the First Kaiju War as the top Jaeger pilots. It was assumed that he and his brother would follow in their footsteps, but that didn’t seem to be his plan.

On the other hand, his brother Philip “Please don’t call me, Fili” Durin was perhaps the best Jaeger pilot to have ever existed, or so he thought. After their Uncle Frerin’s untimely death at the end of the First Kaiju War, Fili became his Uncle Thorin’s copilot.

The Second Kaiju War had unfortunately began, the giant Godzilla-esque monsters had been spotted outside of Sydney and all hands were back on deck after a decade of relative silence.

Kili was excitedly elbow deep inside part of a kaiju carcass when one of the floor assistants came in with a worried look.

“Dr. Durin, there has been an incident with Oaken Shield. It was severely attacked by one of the Category 3 kaiju. Your uncle and brother are being transported to med bay as we speak,” her voice is worried and a little frantic.

Kili hardly has time to clean himself off before he is running off to the medbay demanding to see his family.

Fili turns out to just have minor injuries that will heal up over a week or so of rest (Kili heard that as a day or two, knowing Fili). His uncle however was not as lucky. He was suffering from some major, but not life threatening injuries.

His piloting career was over at the worst possible time.

Kili knew that there would be knew kaiju coming any day, any moment, and they were officially one Jaeger team down.

Fili had healed up in a matter of days and was already back training. He had been a Marine recruit when the First Kaiju War started. He immediately was deferred to the PPDC’s Jaeger piloting bootcamp. He was never on the deployed teams, having struggled to connect with another pilot.

It was the cruel twist of fate that his career began at his uncle’s end. He finally made a drift compatible match with his uncle. They were able to take down some of the smaller Cat 1’s and the random kaiju sighting over the past decade.

This kaiju was the largest either of them had seen and it was their undoing. While their drift was compatible, it wasn’t the strongest. Now he again was copilot-less and would have to try to find some random pilot to try and bond with.

It was his first day back from the accident, he was healed up but his muscles and body were still sore from a combination of disuse and the injury itself. Many other pilots and crew members filled the on-base gym full of machines as well as a private sparring room.

Kili is working on a punching bag with another scientist when he sees his brother walk him. He excitedly launches himself in his brother’s direction, hugging him tight.

“Look at you! Good as new!” Kili grins patting his cheek teasingly.

Fili chuckles and peels him off gently.

“I need to spar, but I need to start easy. Think you can handle it?”

Kili scoffs in offense crossing his arms.

“May I remind you that I went through all the same martial arts classes as you when we were kids. Ask Hae-Won, I was tearing that bag up over there,” he scrunches his nose.

Fili grins clasping his shoulder and pushing him toward the sparring floor.

“Well then you have nothing to be scared of then!” He pulls his own curly blond hair into a bun and slips padded gloves onto his hands.

“Jiu jitsu rules?” He offers to his younger brother who shrugs with a smile and a nod.

“Sounds good to me.”

The two meet on the middle of the floor, one of the other pilots playing referee. Kili ignoring the whispers of mostly the other pilots.

“He’s a scientist, Philip is going to kick his ass.”

“Ah, he’s injured. I bet the kid gets a good hit or two in.”

“Injured or not, I wouldn’t want to be on the opposite side of Philip.”

They bump their padded knuckles against one another before the reffing pilot signals for them to begin.

Fili easily takes Kili down on the mat within the first few second, Kili nervous about hurting his already injured brother. The knock of air out of his lungs is enough to light the spark in him.

Kili is surprised himself when he is able to go toe to toe with his brother, each fighting and maneuvering easily around one another on the floor. When Kili finds an in and has Fili pinned to the ground and having to tap out, there is nothing but a bit grin and excitement.

Less than an hour later Kili finds himself in his uncle’s hospital room as Fili and Thorin are in the throes of an argument.

“It only makes sense Thorin! Who else better for me to drift with?”

“He isn’t like us Fili! This isn’t the life he signed up for!”

Kili clears his throat realizing he must be the topic of the argument.

“He can talk for himself, you know? Fili, you want me to...drift with you?” His voice is almost incredulous.

“You’re an amazing fighter, Kili. Sure, you need some training and some finessing, but I think you could make an amazing pilot.”

“But I’m a scientist.”

“Yes, but you can be more too! Please Kili, we can do a practice drift and if it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out. But I can’t not let us try,” Fili begs with a renewed energy.

“I don’t like this,” Thorin says resolutely from his bed.

“You don’t have to like it, Kili just has to. You’ll give it a shot, won’t you Kee?”

Kili looks between the two of them before focusing on Fili.

“One time. I’ll give the practice drift one shot, if I don’t like it, I’m not doing it,” He says seriously to his brother, “I’m only considering doing it because I want to see a kaiju up close and personal.”

Fili rolls his eyes but is beyond excited at the idea of having a true drift partner.

They schedule the test drift in one of the Jaeger practice pods the next day. Fili unable to wait any longer.

Even though it is just a practice, the idea of drifting has always scared him a bit. He’s heard the pilots coached enough to know that you don’t hang onto anything in the drift, you just let it ride through.

The drift exposes each pilot to the memories, thoughts, feelings, and emotions of the other. There are no secrets in the drift. Both pilots share an intimate and genuine connection where their minds temporarily become one.

Kili swallows nervously as he steps out in the Jaeger operating outfit, his worried eyes finding Fili who offers a reassuring smile.

“These outfits are ridiculous,” Kili nervously laughs as some of the J-tech crew shows him how to get set up in the mock Jaeger unit.

Fili laughs a little in response, needing no help himself. “Yeah, they are. Hopefully, you’ll get used to it.”

Fili’s voice switches over mid-sentence to the comm link within the helmet.

“Okay Kili, just trust me. Follow my lead and don’t hold onto anything in the drift.”

“I feel like I should start a confessional for all the fucked up things you might see in the drift, so I’m apologizing now.”

Fili laughs again as he speaks in to the mic, pushing in buttons on the HUD of the Jaeger interface, “Activating neural handshake. In 3...2...1…”

Kili gasps as a wall of blue hits his vision and he feels like he may be sick from the spiraling feeling as memories and feeling flood him.

He sees first days of school, Fili fighting bullies, their first martial arts classes, their sleepovers they share as children, Thorin yelling at them.

“You are teenagers! This childhood dependency stops now.”

Fili being sent away for military school. Both sobbing at night, the intense heartache, emptiness.

They feel their first hug in Hong Kong, they hadn’t seen each other in years. A decade spent making up for lost time in their childhood.

Accidental drunken kisses. Fear, shame, they have to hide, if anyone were to know. Their lives would be over. He’d ruin Fili’s life. Fili he loves Fili but he can’t love Fili. Brothers, they are brothers and brothers aren’t like this why is he like this? Why can’t he be better? Fili don’t go-God, ithurtsithurtsmorethananythingwhycanttheyjustbetogetherwhydoesithurtsomuchmakeitstoptheblueisswallowinghimmakeitstopbrotherfilifilifilifilif-

“Kili, let it go! Kili you have to LET GO!”

He surges forward, gasping for air as he makes it onto the other side of the drift. Fili looks concerned at him from behind his helmet.

“Kee, you okay? You made it through. You’ve let it go, now let’s focus on the mission okay?” Fili orders in a reassuring tone as Kili nods catching his breath.

“Yeah, I’m good,” his breath evens out some before he pushes a smile on his face, “Let’s kick some virtual kaiju ass.”

Kili isn’t surprised when they take down the kaiju with relative ease, his mind feeling clear and strong with the guidance of Fili there. It’s reassuring and calming. Like he doesn’t have to think as hard with Fili doing half of the work as well.

Kili however is surprised when the J-tech crew excitedly clap them both on the back.

“You guys just beat the current record of beating Knifehead! With minimal damage at that! It was incredible!”

They both are helped out of the mock Jaeger, the drift ending. Kili searches Fili’s face when he hears a soft rushed voice in the back of his head.

So proud. I love him so much. Kili, I love you.

Fili takes off his helmet not saying anything at first.

“Well then.”

“Well then what?” Fili says softly looking at him.

“I’m going to really, really miss my lab,” Kili sighs holding the helmet under his arm.

Fili couldn’t possibly grin brighter hearing in his own head a soft, I love you too.