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vln-vibes · 5 years ago

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Unwanted, Unreliable, Unstoppable

Yeah so this thing is crazy long so I’m dividing it into three parts. Anyways this is very self indulgent but I hope you like the content.

Summary: They were tired, they were so so tired. This fight has been going on long enough, this war was getting harder and harder to fight as the years went on but no one ever helped; Not the citizens of Paris, not the French government and certainly not the Justice League. But what is they received help from a man that was practically a myth himself; the Batman. Is this exactly what the Miraculous Team needs or will this lead to their falling from grace?

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��I’m so tired of this!” Ladybug scratched at her head feverishly. Currently she was standing at the second most top of the Eiffel Tower with her team: Chat Noir, Ryuuko and Viperion.

“I know m’lady” Chat sighed, letting his cheerful mask take a break as he stood next to her, leaning into the railings.

“Those— Those assholes that call themselves the Justice League just keep ignoring us; it's like they just don’t give a shit about us” Viperion rolled his eyes. They had tried, time and time again, to get help from older, more experienced heroes with their situation in Paris; they were fucking teenagers thrust into an adult’s war. One they didn’t even care for anymore.

“They don’t care for Paris… Why should we?” Ryuuko spoke up, cold fury clear in her eyes. “If they cannot find the need to handle the Paris situation themselves then why must we be the ones to? No one even appreciates out efforts, its like they just want us to have everything handled”

It was true.

At first the Parisians praised the Dynamic Duo, Ladybug and Chat Noir, for stepping up and saving the city from the terrifying Akumas they had no way of handling. They even got the heroes to help out with things not in their jurisdiction; suddenly any crime, as minor or major as it could get, required their attention, any fire could not be handled by the fire department alone, schools needed the heroes to make guest appearances, they were wanted in television interviews, everyone needed to know everything about them. It was fine, for a while, they didn’t mind helping out.

Then Heroes’ Day happened.

Suddenly they were pathetic.

If they were supposed to be so strong then how come other heroes had to come to help? It had never occurred to them that they were chosen by Ladybug and Chat Noir, all they knew was that the duo was not as strong as they once believed.

After all it was just one criminal,

How hard could it be?

Sometimes, Ladybug wishes, she had just let Alya keep the stupid earrings. She was sure the girl would have taken them immediately at the time but, given her brashness and temperamental nature, she would have already lost to Hawkmoth.

Plus she didn’t blame the small kwami or even Master Fu all that much: She resented the man but still respected him very much and knew he went through the same thing as she did at an even younger age with absolutely no way out. She was aware that if she truly wanted to all she could do was just give the earrings to someone else or even hand them over. But Ladybug was stubborn and the earrings were her’s now, just like the ring was Chat’s, the choker was Ryuuko’s and the bangle was Viperion’s.

That didn’t mean this battle was theirs to fight.

“... Why don’t we leave?” Viperion asked, disturbing their silence. The trio looked at him curiously, as though he broke an unspoken rule.

“Why would we?” Ladybug responded, knowing fully well that Viperion didn’t tend to speak up unless he was certain of his words.

“Because they’re running us dry, this city is killing us” Viperion raised his voice, aware that they could already, “Adrien and Kagami are living shitty home lives with abusive assholes that want to call themselves parents. Mari, you’re being burdened with too much responsibility by that bitch Bustier and that class full of sheep! I hate seeing you all kill yourselves for people that will never appreciate it because they think they’re above it!”

At the end of his rant Viperion’s eyes were nearly glowing, his breathing a bit more rough than normal, looking away from his teammates knowing he stepped too far. “Sorry, but I don’t want my friends to die on me when I can do something to stop it”

Ryuuko, Chat Noir and Ladybug understood where he was coming from but it was like a slap on the face, a reminder of what civilian life was like for them. Ryuuko could feel the sting coming from her leg, where mother had hit with her shinai after failing to be in proper form. Chat Noir still felt the ache of having to do photoshoots all day and then staying up at night to have to do his make-up work; not that his father cared with his disregard of child labor laws. Ladybug still had some redness from bruises Alya had caused by tripping her on her way to class.

“... Okay so these are the sad gang hours” the group turned back seeing Roter Fochs land, Roi Singe and Pegasus landing behind them. The Parisians were really only aware of ‘The Core Four’ as they’d rather have some aces up their sleeves; not that the three were ready to confront the Parisian backlash just yet. They didn’t want to deal with anymore bullshit than they had to in their civilian lives.

“Is everything alright? Or is it just Life™?” Roi Singe asked, leaning onto his bo-staff next to Viperion.

“It takes 60 euroes to go to therapy but no money to say it just be like that sometimes” Roter Fochs shrugged, much to the dismay of Viperion, Roi Singe and Pegasus.

“Can you please stop joking about your mental health” Pegasus found himself groaning. A small hovering screen appeared next to him, a cowboy hat firmly attached to the top with an antenna sticking out.

“Yes studies show that LGBT youth have a higher percentage to suffer from depression, some even to the point that they𑁋”

“Thanks for the concern CowBot but, really, I’m fine; let me have my fun” Roter softly tapped the little robot. It was nice having people, well sentient beings, still concerned with his well being.

Suddenly the group tensed, their artificial ears and enhanced senses picking up a light clink, the sound of something quickly winding up followed. Two male figures landed in front of them, quickly surrounded by the Parisians. The taller one of the two quipped:

“Well aren’t you a merry bunch”

“Who are you and why are you here?” Chat Noir kept an icy cold edge to his voice, emulating how his father would talk to employees that weren’t Natalie.

“They’re not Akumas, no magic radiating off of them” Ladybug analyzed, looking closely at the duo but she couldn’t recognize them at all. The male that had spoken had a lean and relatively tall body, he couldn’t be more than four years older than her team, so around his late teens early twenties. He had long raven hair, his bangs framing his face perfectly, even in the moonlight she could tell he had a pale complexion though the black domino mask he sported helped hide most of it and his eyes. His uniform wasn’t one she recognized from any superhero from the League; black kevlar, if she had to guess, made up nearly the entirety of his suit, from his boots, pants and even gauntlets, heck she wouldn’t be surprised if his cape was bulletproof. One of the only things to bring color was his crimson chest piece, with two belts across it holding up a golden bird symbol, the same one on his canary utility belt.

“Tt, we just came here to talk” the smaller male scoffed, his posture not looking any more tense or relaxed, just attentive. His build was also lean like his taller partner though she could tell his body would be able to build more muscles with his broader shoulders. She assumed they were around the same age, his jawline defined but not to the same extent an adult’s would be. His hair seemed almost darker than that of his partner’s and was slicked back though maintaining most of its volume, a naturally tan skin was found beneath a green domino mask, much like his companion’s. His uniform was definitely more colorful, almost as if he was meant to garner attention(and boy wasn’t that concerning); black seemed to be the main color in his suit with the outer cape, pants and sleeves being that color, ruby red tunic that went beyond his belt with dandelion accents on its edges and a golden R over his heart, pine boots and gauntlets matching the shade of his mask with dandelion yellow covering the inside of his cape and hood as well as his own utility belt.

She had no clue who they were.

“And why should we trust you?”

“Because we don’t like the Justice League any more than you do”

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One Week Ago

“Hey B, we found something interesting while reading the League’s data” Barbara Gordon’s voice echoed in the BatCave. Currently she and Tim were doing the weekly check-in on the League, something those heroes never seemed to notice. Not that they were surprised.

“What did you find?” Bruce asked, telling Duke and Damian to take a break from combat training while he did.

“There’s an alarming amount of distress calls from France, specifically Paris, that the League has been either ignoring or not receiving” Tim showed him the graph of all the history, going back at least three years closer. It was small at first, once every two months at the beginning, once a month when the second year began, every two weeks bordering on weekly near the end of it, by the start of the third it was daily until some time three months ago they just stopped.

Well wasn’t that cause for concern?

“Can we get any audio of the calls?” Bruce’s detective side coming up as Barbara was able to bring up a few that hadn’t been automatically deleted by the Justice League’s system. The first one was the very first from three years ago, a video call.

“Uh hello!” the girl on the video said awkwardly, clearly nervous but determined to get her message out, “My name is Ladybug”

Her costume looked like it was simply made by spandex, a rather plain design of red with black spots around, a domino mask with open lenses was the only thing really concealing her identity.

“Paris has a supervillain, his name is Hawkmoth and he feeds off of negative emotions. His power can turn anyone into his enslaved champion and we- my partner and I are the only ones really fighting this. I- I know you’re all really busy saving the world and all that but- but we’re just kids! We have no experience and well, we were hoping you can send someone to help? We’ve only confronted him three times now but well, we were just pushed into this”

Bruce could feel his blood growing cold, she couldn’t have been older than thirteen when this was recorded. He knew no Leaguers went on missions to Paris for the past five years… He told them to play the next video, from two years ago.

“Hello Justice League” Ladybug still wore her simple spandex though now standing tall next to a boy with a black cat leather outfit. Behind them was a girl with a bee themed outfit, a girl with a fox themed outfit and a boy with a turtle theme.

“We just came out of this Heroes Day disaster”

“No thanks to their help” the bee girl snapped before looking away.

“Look, Hawkmoth is getting more and more dangerous. He was able to transform half of Paris into his minions, they took over Paris and nearly won”

“What is it going to take you for you guys to finally help?” the cat boy growled much to the surprise of the others.

“Chat Noir!”

“Oh please we can totally handle Hawkmoth without them; you two should be enough already. With us three helping you, defeating him should be easy, power of teamwork and all that” the fox girl waved off, much to the surprise of the turtle.

“Rena did you seriously not remember what just happened. We were compromised, we nearly let Paris fall. We’re not trained for this, not even LB and Chat, and they’ve been doing this for the past year”

“Whatever”

“What was the last transmission?” Bruce found himself asking as the cave suddenly grew silent, all eyes on the monitor as their last transmission played.

“Why are we even bothering with this?” a new male voice asked, the video was shaky before finally pointing at the Parisian streets. If you could even call what was essentially a river of water, reaching to the top of most rooftops streets anymore. Items were floating about, bodies littered around them.

“They’ll never listen, they never did” another female voice agreed, they assumed it was the girl at the corner of the screen, looking down on the streets in what could be described as pity.

“I know” Ladybug’s voice sighed from behind the camera. “But they should at least see the consequences of their actions”

“If they even bother watching these, I wouldn’t be surprised if they just delete these as soon as we send them” Chat Noir entered the screen, eyes cold and calculating.

“Paris should be thankful that Lucky Charm is able to bring them back” the male with the snake themed outfit shook his head. “This is probably the 1,000 time most of Paris died with an akuma, second with Syren”

“Super lucky” the dragon female rolled her eyes “It’s not even worth trying to save citizens since all they do is cretique us”

“And the officers; Apparently we should be able to deal with city-destroying being and protect the people at the same time while officers just stand behind the lines waiting for us to do both” Chat Noir hissed

“What's done is done. This will be our last call for the Justice League; I hope you’re all happy, knowing that you’ve forced children to grow up and fight in a man’s war. Bug Out”

“There are no records of these videos even being played, or even of these events happening as far as Parisian government records say. But there’s clearly a lot of cover up going on, most of Paris’ emergency broadcasting doesn’t make it out of its borders, heavy encouragement of tourism even though there have been complaints by the people about… akumas?” Tim reported as soon as the video finished playing.

“There’s even records of a city-funded statue being made for Ladybug and Chat Noir yet no indication of where it is or what its for” Barbara continued “This blog keeps coming up, it used to be called the Ladyblog before it switched to Fox Tea. Look at these videos”

The screens were suddenly filled with shots of these Akuma; one that froze the city over, one who controlled the weather, one who began dropping adults from the sky, Syren, Heroes’ Day… All of them had to be handled by scared children.

“These look too real to be edited” Duke said in awe. He was very aware of his children all surrounding the screens, looking at the countless destruction of one of the major cities in the world.

And none of them had ever heard of them or these children who were forced to deal with it.

Ones who seeked out help and were never given the time of day.

“Red Robin, Robin” his two sons standing in attention “I want you to investigate the matter and offer our help; convince them that we’re on their side on not aligned with the League”

“We’re on it, Batman”

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“So you just want us to believe you found out about us and suddenly want to help?” Roter Fochs looked at the duo skeptically.

“We wish to assist you with this whole… situation. No one has heard of Akumas or of Parisian heroes before, we concluded that it may be the government attempting to keep tourism up” the shorter male, Robin, they later learned, spoke up while keeping his hands in the air.

“Though that doesn’t excuse the League, who we know you personally sent distress messages” Red Robin echoed the message “We understand the incompetence of the League better than anyone else. Did you know they never bothered to even open most of those messages?”

Red Robin was surprised by the sudden animalistic growling coming from the group, some of their eyes glowing while others looked disappointed.

Ladybug looked hurt.

“Who do you work for?” Ryuuko asked, curious but not letting her sword lower from its position.

“We’re Robin and Red Robin”

“Like the food chain?”

“.... Yes. Anyway we’re vigilantes sanctioned in Gotham, New Jersey in the United States; we’re both proteges of the Batman” Red Robin held back the need to roll his eyes at the monkey boy’s statement.

“Never heard of him” the French heroes turned to each other, trying to see if the name rang any bells.

“According to the internet the Batman is almost a folklore for Gotham; people claim to see him and his array of birds and bats but none could ever get clear photos” CowBot replied after a quick search.

“If the League never saw our messages then how do you know about them?” Chat Noir stared right at them, as though he’d know they were lying, which he couldn’t but Roter Fochs could and would.

“Because we’re better than the League” Robin said with the same certainty one would say the grass was green.

“Why should we believe you?” Ladybug asked skeptically, if they were so good then why didn’t they handle what the League wouldn’t? Why didn’t they just try to take over the Hawkmoth situation without their input? Why didn’t they just take down the League by themselves?

“You shouldn’t, “ Robin shrugged once more “But we’ll actually help where the League wouldn’t”

Ladybug stole a look from Chat Noir, both turning to Roter Fochs, who shook his head softly indicating the duo wasn’t lying.

“If you really want us to talk then give us the coordinates to meet with the Batman” Ladybug demanded, Robin looked outraged at the implication while Red Robin nodded.

“Alright, but how will you know if we’re lying to you?” he asked curiously, typing something in his communicator, the center of his utility belt, before handing it over to her.

“Trust me, we know when you’re lying plus we’d know when we get there” Viperion smirked, “Also you can stand down now Bunnix, MultiMouse”

The duo were not surprised to see two figures standing behind them, one male with a mouse theme and rope wrapped around his hands, and a petite girl with a bunny theme and a sharp looking umbrella pointing straight at their backs. They were just surprised that they hadn't sensed them before.

“Did you get those coordinates, Pegasus?”

“Yes Ladybug, waiting for your signal”

“Well then birdies, we better hope you weren’t lying or you’ll find Hawkmoth won’t be your biggest problem”

“Voyage!”

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“Why don’t you guys like the League?”

The meeting between the Bats and Team Miraculous had gone much better than any of them had expected; it had certainly helped when they found out one of their own, Agent A as they called him, was once a wielder.

They had both been surprised by the amount of members each team had: The Bats had expected Ladybug, Chat Noir, Ryuuko and Viperion; Roter Fochs, Pegasus, Roi Singe, Bunnix and MultiMouse had been a surprise.

Meanwhile Team Miraculous had only heard of whispers of Batman and many Robins, even a theory on a bat girl of sorts from their brief research; having Batman, Robin (V), Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, Signal, Batgirl, Batwoman, and Black Bat not to mention Oracle and Agent A; they had almost thought it was an ambush.

They supposed they each knew how to keep certain secrets tight.

“The Justice League, though still consisting of some of the most powerful people in this Earth, are too high and mighty; none of them really consider the consequences of their actions and are too reliant on their powers to be able to resolve all their problems. None of them have any contingency plans if their enemies find out their weaknesses and exploit them. Not a single member is a ‘normal human’”

He pulled up a hologram in the middle of the meeting table, every person who's worked with Justice League showing up, each showing their array of powers and abilities before showing their membership status.

Batman, Green Arrow, Speedy, Robin, Artemis; Non-Members

Two Green Lanterns, Captain Marvel, Black Canary, Bumblebee, Rocket, the Atom, Blue Beetle (II), Superboy; Reserve members with clearance.

“That does seem pretty discriminatory” Viperion hummed as he thought of the people on the list, those on the Non-member list had no power or enhancement at all while those on the reserve, with the exception of Captain Marvel and Superboy, had powers or suits but the vulnerability of humans.

They weren’t considered strong enough, or maybe even reliable enough.

“We’d probably be considered in the same capacity as a Green Lantern” Pegasus concluded “Take away their ring and their powers go away”

“Which brings us to the next question” Batgirl chimed cheerfully “What is it exactly that you’re facing off against?”

“The Miraculous are ancient artifacts that lend you the powers of certain godlings named Kwami. Kwamis are the essence of concepts and ideas: The Ladybug who represents Luck and Creation, the Black Cat who represents Misfortune and Destruction and Horse who represents Transportation and Innovation are just some examples” Ryuuko explained for them

“Hawkmoth is in possession of the Butterfly Miraculous of Metamorphosis and Desire along with the Peacock of Emotion and Will” Ladybug paused briefly as she saw the look of surprise on Agent A’s face, wondering if she’d feel that way if she found out Tikki was being used for evil in the future. “Both were thought to be missing, possibly destroyed, when the last Master of the Order was able to salvage them from the attack to the Temple of Miracles. He was only a child when the Temple was attacked, thus he was able to escape without being detected by the enemy”

“If I remember correctly,” Chat Noir interrupted “I believe Master Fu said their name was “The Shadows” or I think he said they now go by𑁋”

“The League of Shadows” Nightwing softly added, the air tensing immediately.

“You know of them?” MultiMouse was weary considering the Shadows were very keen on keeping to, well, shadows. That had to mean that the Bats had confronted them.

“Intimately so” Batman growled out.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Bunnix’s brows furrowed underneath her mask, feeling as though they wouldn’t like the answer.

“The Shadows have been a pain in Gotham’s ass in the past” Batgirl explained before turning to Batman “Especially since the Demon’s Head was interested in having Batman as a Son-in Law, though his daughter is sometimes an ally”

“Batgirl!” Red Robin admonished

“Don’t forget the little demon over here” Red Hood joked, missing the look of shock in the Parisian heroes.

“Or the fact that it sometimes seems like he wants to get on Red Robin’s dick and have his babies”

“Batgirl, Red Hood that’s enough” Batwoman sternly looked at the duo.

“You’re saying Robin is related to the Shadows” the Parisian heroes in the Reserve Team looked at them suspiciously while the Core Four just patiently waited to see what the Bats would say.

“That’s in the past” Nightwing steely stated “He was born into that lifestyle, but his mother let him chose to leave and live a different life”

“We had no choice of who our parents were” Black Bat reinforced, the team taking a mental note that she was once a shadow as well.

“Noted” Chat Noir said cooly “Though you must understand our reluctance when hearing the Shadows; like we said the Shadows destroyed the temple that was meant to safeguard the Miraculous and killed off every Guardian in the process”

“It would be foolish of us to not be on guard when hearing of them being so close to us again” Ryuuko explained “Though we will give the benefit of the doubt”

And so was the beginning of their partnership.

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“You’re all skilled fighters for not having any proper training” Oracle commended, looking at the statistics of the spars they all had, by far the Core Four had the strongest stats but it wasn’t because of the others’ lack of skill.

“Thank you, Oracle” Ryuuko bowed after finishing her match with Robin, an intense sword fight having just finished. If she had truly wanted to she could have ended it by cutting Robin’s katana but she found it both dishonorable and the easy way out considering they were testing skill sets. On the other side of the room was Red Robin and Roi Singe’s fight, bo-staff against bo-staff, being monitored by Black Bat.

“Oh kwami” Ladybug whispered as she and Chat Noir were called for the next match… against Batman and Batwoman.

“This is where we die Noir”

“It’s been an honor m’lady”

The fight had been entertaining, each side coming in with an array of attacks. At first the Bats had played offensive with the Miraculous duo playing defensive, dodging Batarangs and all their little gadgets. The Bats hadn’t expected just how durable the simple looking yo-yo and staff would be or any of its features.

At some point there had been a flash bomb, Chat Noir blocking it from Ladybug and getting temporarily blinded, Batwoman had planned on attacking while he was disoriented however the attack amplified his enhanced hearing, extending his staff and tripping her in the process.

In the end the Bats had won but it had been a close victory considering the Miraculous Team had not bothered to use their special abilities during any of the fights.

As they were taking a breather, resting and getting drinks, Robin spoke up.

“How are you allowing your city to step all over you?” Team Miraculous looked at him briskly before Red Hood, of all people, continued for him.

“We’ve seen the reports and the Parisian news, they’re relying on your team of four, considering they aren’t aware of the others, to be there to solve all their problems”

“It’s okay for your people to put so much trust in you but it's gotten to the point where they expect it of you” Robin concluded.

“I’ve tried telling them” Viperion sighed, facing his group “We really should be leaving Paris to handle their own problems, we’re busy enough in civilian life and akuma fights as it is”

“How do you suppose we do that when we already face scrutiny for not dealing with Akumas fast enough?” Chat Noir asked, his tail flickering behind him.

“You could always stop patrolling in broad daylight if you don’t want to leave the city altogether” Red Robin suggested, “Hiding in the night is easier to avoid any authority or anyone trying to get interviews. Plus this way it's less predictable where you’ll be certain hours of the day”

“He does make a good point” Ladybug said, mostly to herself, before nodding “I think it's a good idea”

“You heard her team,” Chat Noir turned to face the others “All for stopping daylight patrol?”

All of them nodded in agreement, the beginning of a long list of necessary changes in their lives.

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“My father is planning a press conference to talk about his ‘concerns’ with the lack of your appearances” Chloe rolled her eyes. A year ago, after the Heroes’ Day Disaster, she and Carapace had chosen to stand down while Rena was ultimately retired. She’d found out about Adrien when she went for a visit only for him to jump in through the window.

It was awkward between the two of them before they called for Ladybug.

She gave her neutral face of disappointment first before making a plan.

They were all aware that Lila must have been the one to start the disaster, being Volpina was the only explanation, as Ladybug confessed that Lila had a vendetta against her. Chloe also figured she must have been lying, something she had already suspected before, about being in another country considering Hawkmoth’s attacks only stayed in Paris.

Due to Chloe’s secret identity being out in the open they realized Hawkmoth wouldn’t be above targeting her family again. Thus Chloe became Ladybug’s spy.

Meanwhile in civilian life Nino was getting tired of Alya and Lila’s antics, especially the ones against his bros Adrien and Marinette. Well more against Marinette and more sexual harassment/getting together with Adrien. That’s not even touching on their newest content on the blog which was just criticizing the Miraculous Team for all their weaknesses and shortcomings, in the guise of offering “suggestions” on how to get better.

They thought it’d be good to have an inside man, someone who could warn them of anything Lila and Alya might come up to.

They were both the secret members of Team Miraculous.

“Holy shit are you serious?” Nino exclaimed in Chloe’s room. They’d all come in secretly and by different entries to meet up in case certain nosy classmates had spotted them.

“Yep, I may or may not have threatened my father with a lawsuit against his violation of child labor laws and me not receiving my paychecks” Adrien said excitedly.

Chat Noir had made an off-hand comment on how his father had tired him out with a packed work schedule. This resulted in prodding from the mother hen known as Nightwing asking for details which ended in Chat Noir confessing that he works for his father’s company, had been homeschooled most of his life and often had a packed schedule full of extracurriculars, including up to around 12-hour work days sometimes. Turns out with that brief information Oracle informed them that his father was violating child labor laws due to the fact that he had worked more than thirty five hours a week since he was fourteen.

“Holy shit” he’d say in awe at the moment “My father is rich though… who knows if this would even go through with his influence”

“No man is truly above the law” Nightwing had given him a reassuring pat on the shoulder, “But… is everything alright in your home life?”

“I- I shouldn’t say anything that reveals my identity… '' the usually chaotic boy said solemnly, his cat ears downcast.

“Chat Noir,” the group turned to Ladybug, the one who’d help introduce her team to the life of masks and magic “Your own safety is much more important than keeping your identity safe. We both know the kind of person your father is… I’d rather you have the best options possible to face this”

“How come you’re so fast to trust us?” Robin asked, surprised but keeping a stern face.

“You do realize that she has the coordinates to this place, right?” Viperion smirked “She’s known who you are for a while and never mentioned anything. We just expect you to return the courtesy”

“That seems about right” Red Robin sighed before taking off his mask, the others of the Bat Clan following suit. Team Miraculous gave Ladybug one last look before dropping their own transformations, some of them looking familiar to the Gothamites.

“Marcus is that you my boy?” Agent A, otherwise known as the family butler, Alfred Pennyworth made his way to MultiMouse who nodded shyly.

“I actually go by Marc now great-uncle Alfred”

“Wait what, Al has siblings?” Stephanie exclaimed, Jason was whispering for Tim to write it down in The Book.

“Yes, an older half-sister” he said with an impeccable raised brow “I would have never thought you’d follow after my footsteps Marc”

“I guess it does run in the family”

“Adrien Agreste! Like son of the fashion mongul Gabriel and late actress Emellie Grande de Venily?!” Stephanie exclaimed as soon as she focused on the blonde teen.

“Yep” was all he could find himself saying, taking comfort in Marinette’s presence next to him.

“Don’t worry Adrien,” the boy looked up to the slightly intimidating looming figure of Bruce Wayne “We’ll help you deal with your father”

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“Boys” Bruce had said as soon as he entered the living room, where the group had devolved into a video game competition. “Remember tomorrow is your monthly therapy session”

“Already?” Damian groaned, his brothers, with the exception of Dick, looking like they would rather not go.

“Timmy isn’t prepared to face his inner demons”

“And it seems Timmy hasn’t slept in some time again, hasn’t he?” Luka teased, continuing to run his hand through Tim’s hair, the boy practically purring in response.

“You have a therapist?” Marinette asked Bruce skeptically.

“We’ve all… gone through things growing up. Alfred made me realize that we were all in need of some help”

“And do you umm… talk about your nightly activities?”

“They’re trustworthy and confidential, yes”

“Do you think you could give me their information?”

That’s how Team Miraculous found themselves on the day after another akuma attack, in a private room within Wayne Tower, each waiting their turn to see the doctor.

“You’ve been through alot Luka” the teen was lying on his back, facing the ceiling as the psychologist who worked with Bruce talked. “Losing what you’ve come to accept as your family, watching your friends die, even though you knew you could change the outcome. Doing it over and over again in order to save the city… It's not something anyone could be expected to handle, let alone a child your age”

“I… I know Dr.Quinzel. But I can’t allow myself to feel guilty over everything or even get overly emotional. If Hawkmoth found out it’d be a disaster, especially because Marinette trusted me with the miraculous… the first for her to assign full time as the Guardian…. I can’t let her down” Luka gave her a lost look, one rarely seen on the charming boy before.

“Keeping all of that inside… It could fester up and explode if you’re not careful Luka”

“So you’re telling me that you are perfectly fine with how your life at home is going, Nathaniel? Even after everything we’ve discussed”

“Look I’ve tried telling my parents they were wrong but they just keep saying I’m confused, not to mention think my art is a joke… and maybe they’re right”

“Those are important parts to who you are. Saying that would be like considering yourself a mistake… Do you feel that way Nathaniel?”

“I…”

“I think I have pretty bad taste in girls, though my friends usually call me a himbo for not really thinking things through. Maybe I should think before acting more?”

“I’ve known I was going to become Bunnix ever since I was fourteen, it was always just a matter of when. So when I was finally called to action I was so excited but… I can’t help but wonder if I’m cut out for this”

“My mother has groomed and taught me to be perfect at all I do. It was something ingrained to me since I was a child; It wasn’t until recently that I learned that is impossible to achieve. Why was mother so pertained to me being it?”

“I know I’m the smart guy but I shouldn’t be expected to have all the answers, especially for my classmates who refuse to look at evidence as it is. Seriously, if I had known they would have taken my comment about how dangerous a napkin can be as pure fact then I would have not said anything that day”

“Sometimes I feel like I’m not enough for my grandmother. She’s getting older, she’s starting to forget a lot. I help by telling her things like stories but I’m not sure how long that will last… She’s the only family I have left in Paris, I don’t want to leave my friends or boyfriend behind”

“My father has always been a distant man but ever since my mother… I’m not sure if he even sees me as his son at this point. There are some days I’m treated as nothing more than a trophy boy or a regular employee. I wonder if this would have happened regardless of my mother’s passing”

“I am Ladybug, I am also the last Guardian. But I’m just a teenager! I have a life I want to live outside of Paris… I want to be a designer, start my own brand, find love and have my own family… But Hawkmoth is in the way of all that”

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“Are you sure about this LB?” Nino asked from the terrace of Chloe’s penthouse. They’d been talking strategy when an Akuma attacked, given the chaos displayed by the news via LadyBugOut livestream, they could only assume it was another Volpina attack.

Unfortunately Volpina had a Sentimonster to help, Reality Check. A glorified 3D printer who could temporarily make Volpina’s illusions tangible and real.

It had proven to be a difficult battle, especially since Luka and Adrien had been caught up as civilians and couldn’t help Ryuuko and Ladybug. The others still had to wait for Ladybug to give the signal before they’d consider going out to help in broad daylight lest their hidden cards be revealed too soon.

In the middle of the fight the two heroines had made a strategic retreat, one the Fox Tea blogger did not hesitate to call the coward’s way out. Suddenly the two appeared at Chloe’s along with Roter Fochs. The scarlet hero had taken out two familiar boxes with extremely familiar jewelry inside.

“I’m certain of it” she said with a determined smile, “Besides this could finally get Hawkmoth and maybe even Alya off your backs if I introduce new heroes; Of course your costumes will have to be different, as will your codenames, but I trust that you’ll know what to do”

“Hello my queen!”

“What’s up dude”

Paris was in uproar when they heard of the new heroes; Abeille and Anselm.

Abeille’s costume was much more armored than that of Queen Bee’s; the whole suit had a honey yellow bodysuit with black armor pieces, her chest piece in the shape of a bee’s face, black elbow length gloves with some honey stripes, thigh high black boots with honey kneepads. Her own mask was different from her former as it changed her eyes to royal blue like Pollen’s while being honey colored with black v shaped lines. The golden gauntlets on top of her gloves would be able to send out small shocks, capable of stunning enemies for small intervals at the time, nowhere near as potent as Venom.

Anselm’s own attire was not so different from Carapace; Anselm still kept the hoodie his predecessor did though beneath it is where the differences began. Anselm wore a pine green helmet, yellow tinted goggles on top of his red eyes, with pale thin daffodile lines going from the top to the bottom of his hood. The hoodie and his undersuit was sacramento green, bordering on black, though the majority of the suit was also armored with pine pieces like the hexagonal chest piece, shoulder, thigh, shin, knee and elbow pads. He also had much thicker gauntlets than Abeille’s along with armored gloves and reinforced sneakers.

Of course, Chloe Bourgeois and Nino Lahiffe were quickly off of the suspect list when the two were spotted separately looking for shelter amongst the Akuma attack during Fox Tea’s livestream.

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“So you’re part of the OG Team huh?” Stephanie asked as she gave a once over to the two newcomers.

“Deep undercover missions, you know how they go” Abeille scoffed, her honey blonde hair swaying along with her five black streaks around it.

“What she said. We couldn’t help as Queen Bee and Carapace anymore, compromised identities, so we helped as civilians before covering our tracks and coming back” Anselm tried to keep back Chloe’s prickly personality.

“Like what?” Cass’ appearance startled the two, though both looked like they were about to draw out their weapons.

“Well I get them intel from what’s happening in the mayor’s office that Max and Markov can’t get out from the computers, daddy is a bit of a pushover and squeals pretty easily”

“While I get intel from Fox Tea’s disastrous dude duo. I’m usually among the first to find out about anything their plotting… though I’ve had to drop that. It was getting too much for me to continue being with Alya so we broke up”

“So you kept dating Cesaire just to gather intel? Doesn’t that seem manipulative?” Duke asked from his seat on the monitor, the two Parisians looked at one another before beginning to laugh.

“Not compared to what those two are capable of”

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“Are you sure about this?”

Currently Viperion, Ladybug and Bunnix were on the Gotham rooftops, shadowing the Bats for the night. The three were honored to be trusted with the responsibility but still felt foreign in the much darker environment, literally and metaphorically.

“It’ll be a good experience” Oracle said in their ears, their comms being synced to those of the Bats “And you won’t be alone, I’ll be here and so will your partners”

Right on cue Robin, Red Robin and Black Bat landed on the same rooftop. The plan was for the six to cover the patrol for the night, the others would be getting rest or doing specialty training with their abilities. It was a surprise for the Miraculous gang when it was revealed that Signal and Red Hood would be joining them as fellow trainees. Alfred and Black Canary, a metahuman who often worked together with Green Arrow in Central City, would be in charge of the training while Bruce also oversaw their progress.

Honestly they hadn’t known what surprised them more: the fact that Batman had metas on his team or that he trusted other heroes with the training of his children.

“It should be a regular night; standard mugging, gang fights and possible robberies should be all that happen tonight”

Of course that was not what happened.

As it turned out Riddler had escaped Arkham, no surprise, and had gone too long without his medication. Edward Nygma was usually a pretty tame man, if a little eccentric with his love of riddles and his brilliant mind.

He decided to hold Gotham Grand Terminal hostage.

Ladybug was decidedly trying not to panic as she saw the very obvious bombs spread across different sections of the terminal. There were too many for them to deactivate in less than three minutes and there were probably more hidden around.

“Riddle me this; What is Joan of Arc made of ?” Ladybug and Robin were the first to arrive at the scene, Viperion and Red Robin being the closest to coming as back up. Robin seemed as confused as she felt but decided to really think about it…

This was so stupid.

“Maid of Orleans” the look Robin gave her, like she just made the most foolish decision of her life, was seen spread across the faces of hostages before Riddler began to laugh.

“Why you are correct, little red” he wiped a tear from his eye “Bats would never think of something so punny like that!”

“Yeah well I’ve had a lot of experience with annoying puns”

“What’s colorful, loud and is a mess to clean up?” Ladybug’s eyes widened as he pressed the big red button on the remote control, Robin bringing Ladybug down and shielding her as the hostages began to scream.

BOOM!

“...Confetti cannons” Ladybug muttered, her whole body covered in the colorful paper pieces with glitter in the mix.

That son of a bitch!

It was April 1st.

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“So what is it that we’ll be doing?” Bunnix asked as Black Bat silently leaped through the Gotham rooftops, camouflaging effortlessly with the shadows unlike her because of the white and baby blue costume she had on.

“You two will be checking up on Red Hood’s sector for the night, Crime Alley” Oracle’s voice responded for her.

“Right, so is this just a standard patrol?”

“Something like that”

Bunnix was admittedly a bit nervous about being with Black Bat, Cass didn’t really talk much and was kinda hot. Bunnix had just dutifully shadowed her, staying as quiet as she could even if she did more parkour than necessary, when they stumbled upon a drug deal. Bunnix was about to go down to smack some people around with her umbrella when Black Bat shook her head.

“One of Red Hood’s men, let’s wait to see the deal go through”

Bunnix wasn’t sure what to think as she watched the deal go down. Weren’t they supposed to be the ones to stop this from happening and not helping them? It was a bit confusing and against her moral code…

“We do this to keep the kids out of the involvement” Oracle seemed to read her mind, explaining their reasoning “Before Red Hood decided to get involved with drug trafficking Crime Alley was full of children who would be taken advantage of by dealers; whether it meant getting them addicted or becoming their messengers and delivery boys. He made it very clear to his ‘allies’ that no child from Crime Alley was getting involved in their plans again or else the deals were off. Those who tried going above him… well they’re no longer around to try and take him down”

Still that did not help ease Alix’s worries as the night continued on. Black Bat came to a sudden stop on top of a warehouse, gesturing for Bunnix to follow behind her, and climbing in through a shattered window. Inside were dozens of wooden crates, each with cameras pointed at them and only one with an open lid. Black Bat walked towards the open crate with ease, going inside and taking out three duffle bags from inside. She placed two on her, criss-crossing each other before handing the other one to a reluctant Bunnix.

The tow then headed to a hidden tunnel underneath one of the empty crates, making their way in a closed (?) Gotham sewer. It didn’t smell as disgusting as Alix imagined it would be, musky at best, though she thought that it may be due to the fact that there was no dirty sewage water there. They walked in relative ease, essentially walking for what had to be at least 15 minutes in numerous twists and turns before reaching a ladder. The two got out, Bunnix recognizing it as part of Crime Alley with how run down the area looked.

Black Bat knocked on a rusting steel door, three times, five, once and then a tap with her palm.

The door opened up, a boy no older than 12 being the ones to greet them.

“Where’s R.H?” he questioned, he looked disappointed but not alarmed, clearly he had met Black Bat before.

“Was busy. This is Bunnix, she’s helping for the night” The boy was clearly unimpressed with her but he closed the door and led them down the long hallway. She noticed the few scattered toys along the way, with some open doors showing mountains of writing supplies and even a little library.

What was this place?

“This is Red Hood’s sanctuary for the kids of Crime Alley” Black Bat whispered next to her “Batgirl and Red Hood are usually the ones to come here though all of us have come at some point.” they entered the large room showing children of all ages, some as young as infants and others looking close to early adulthood. They dropped the duffle bags in front of what she thought was the leader of the pack when Red Hood wasn’t around.

They were filled with non-perishable food, wads of money that will probably be used to provide for the group of 30 or even more for the next month, toys, books and some new clothes.

As the children gathered around, each a little dirtier than Alix remembered ever being as a child, lining up to get a new something that Red Hood got for them she couldn’t help but think;

… Maybe things were never so black and white.

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“I know it may seem frightening, even unnerving, to let go of your control but if you keep your powers bottled up it may prove to be disastrous in the future” Black Canary told the group of teens.

“With abilities bestowed to you like those of the Miraculous are left untrained then it may prove to lead to your downfall” Alfred nodded along to Dinah’s words.

“As capable as Ms.Lance and I are, we have realized that we would need further assistance to properly be able to train each of your abilities”

From one of the Batcave’s entrances they could hear the screech of tires before a slick black car parked next to the Batmobile and Hoodcycle.

“Sorry, we’re late” a red headed woman said as she stepped out of the car, her pale freckled skin slowly gaining a green tint to it as she removed her lab coat and glasses, “Selina here thought she could make a quick steal on our way here”

“Oh c’mon Pam, you know you love the rush as much as I do” a tanned woman laughed, twirling around a golden necklace with one of the biggest rubies they had ever seen in its center.

“Now, ladies; Pam-a-lamb has a class of powered kids to teach” they recognized Dr.Quinzel belatedly as she was missing her glasses and uniform. She was now wearing a much more colorful array of clothes with the consistent theme of red,black, and white. Her skin seemed paler than they remembered and her blonde hair had red tips on one side and blue on the other.

“Hey girls” Barbara came down the elevator at the same time as Stephanie and Cass, seemingly cutting their conversation when she saw the newcomers”

“Babs!” Dr.Quinzel exclaimed, making her way to the other girls after giving a quick kiss to the green skinned woman.

“Well you’re right on time Pam” Dinah sighed, cocking her hip before pointing at the newcomers “These are Dr.Pamela Isley otherwise known as the Gotham Rogue Poison Ivy, Selina Kyle a more vigilante type thief Catwoman, and, of course, you know Dr.Harleen Quinzel or as she prefers to go by Harley Quinn”

“Hey kittens” Selina waved at the group “By the way it's been too long since we girls have hung out; how’s about a Birds of Prey raid? You in?”

“Only if Oracle agrees”

“Oh pleasepleasepleaseplease!” Stephanie and Harley’s persistent pleading could be heard immediately afterwards. A polite cough interrupted the chaos.

“As enthusiastic as you ladies are for your plans, may I remind you that we have prior plans to care for first. Namely the training”

“Sorry Alfie” Harley said, chastised, “We’ll get out of your hair. C’mon ladies!”

“...So training?” Marc asked

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“What happened to you?” was the first thing Kim laughed out as the duo stepped into the cave, leaving a trail of confetti and glitter behind. Marinette looked back at her team, unimpressed, in their own state of disarray.

Chloe, Max, Marc and Nathaniel seemed to be nursing their own cases of migraines; most likely having pushed the limits of their own new abilities which relied on mental fortitude. Chloe and Jason’s powers were the most similar to Alfred’s which involved manipulating and projecting thoughts and ideas to the people around them or to specific targets. Nathaniel was developing the power to create illusions that only his target would be allowed to see. Marc could create intangible clones of himself but could still project what they were seeing and hearing to him. Max could teleport objects a few meters away from or towards him.

Kagami, Kim, Adrien and Nino seemed the most physically exhausted. Kagami was beginning to have slight control of fire, wind and water but not yet conjuring it; given her slight burn marks, wet clothes and messy hair Marinette would guess that she still hadn’t fully grasped the manipulation aspect outside of being Ryuuko. Kim’s own face was dirty and slightly bruised and matched that of Adrien’s. Kim had begun to use his chaotic energy to make the wackiest things happen but to have the outcome he wanted while Adrien could suck the luck out of people for small intervals lest he want to have the misfortune backlash cling on him. Nino’s was more tame though he now had to focus on two things since he could now use his energy to both heal and to create a shield that encompased his body like armor.

“Oh god you guys look like messes!” Alix laughed along with Luka, the only two that looked fine as they had a fairly tame patrol with Cass and Tim.

“Next time I see Riddler remind me to throw a glitter bomb” Marinette grumbled as she made her way to the showers.

“Not before I stab him with his stupid cane” Damian growled heading for the male showers.

“So how long till Daminette guys?” Adrien asked

“Definitely before the end of the year” Duke concluded, the others not being sure if he used his power or not.

“I’ll take you up on that. I’ll bet we make more money than with Red Scales” Stephanie laughed.

“Red Scales?” Luka asked curiously before the others yelled out.

“Nothing!”

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“Okay how come no one warned me about that!” Jason yelled as he came out of the Cave’s entrance. The group either gave questioning or amused looks.

“Oh, so you saw that too?” Alix asked, perched from one of the sofa’s armrests.

“You assholes could have given me a heads up” he complained before groaning into a sofa “God, someone get me some bleach”

“What’s Jaybird talking about?” Dick asked, coming in from the kitchen with an array of snacks for the rowdy bunch of teeneagers.

“Oh just Timbers getting some with the big bad snake boi” Stephanie sang, causing Jason to groan and Dick to choke on his own spit.

“More like trying to eat each other’s tongue out” Nathaniel responded in disgust.

“Timmy, no!” were the words the oldest yelled out before heading into the Batcave in record time.

“Anyway,” Stephanie began “It’s time to pay up bitches. Marinette and Cass get the loot”

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“Hmm, so I guess that’s what fresh blood splatters looks like” Chat Noir said in morbid interest.

“Well it's certainly more noticeable than dried blood” Viperion nodded along, watching as Red Robin and Red Hood carried out the interrogation from a one-way mirror. There was a new gang who specialized in child trafficking, most of the kids coming from Crime Alley and therefore not getting reported to the police; luckily they had Red Hood looking out for them.

“Yes, well we are here to see how they carry out their investigation and get used to all the squeamish things” Ladybug gave a calculated look, as though she herself were in there and what she would do to get the information out of the man they captured earlier that night.

“Do you guys think this sort of thing is going too far?” MultiMouse asked curiously, he was beginning to grow a bit uncomfortable with the amount of blood the man had begun to lose.

“I mean this asshole deserves it” Roter Fochs glared “I don’t think it's too much if it means saving all those kids”

“Standing on the edge of what is seen as a hero𑁋”

BANG

“Let’s you see all the things you can’t from the center” Ryuuko watched as the man was forcibly being held back up by Red Robin after Red Hood slammed his face on the interrogation table.

“World is not black and white” Black Bat spoke from next to them “Many shades of gray in between; We are in the gray”

Ko-Fi

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xanderwithanx · 3 years ago

Text

Chloe does night-time diary posts on HER tumblr, so I'm going to start doing them here, sometimes. It would be nice if you read it, but, please, don't feel obligated! This is more for me to write.

(I got tired of my normal journal, I guess. It's full of bad poetry anyway. Besides, where's the thrill of losing anonymity in a physical notebook?)

I've basically been asleep and depressed for several days, because I had withdrawal after not being able to get my adhd meds. But, I got it today, and DID THINGS. (This is SO much better than before!)

Today, I went to a small café or restaurant (focused on tea) called Alice's Teacup that was Alice in Wonderland themed! My long-standing obsession with Alice in Wonderland knows no bounds. It was a really cute place. I got pumpkin pancakes, and some really good iced tea. Like... REALLY good iced tea.

Still, it seemed like the entire place was geared towards having a pot of tea and snacks with your friends, which left me a bit lonely. The person I asked couldn't come, and by the time I heard back, I was more than halfway there. Still, I read Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead and watched Monty Python on my phone, so I still had a good time!

I dressed pretty eccentricly and effeminately all day, but, with my facial hair, I was ALWAYS coded as a man, even by people on the street! Pastels, a stupid hat, a crop top, and facial hair was a winning combination.

On my way, I was stopped by some guys soliciting for charity. I don't make a habit of stopping for strangers on the streets of Manhattan. What if it's a scam? What if I'm being pressured to buy something? What if it's a strange political rant? But, I had already taken my earbuds off, I wasn't in a hurry, and I'm terminally polite. The first guy said he liked my energy, which seemed to come from a genuine place, because I liked his too!

They were asking for donations for a breast cancer charity, the United Breast Cancer Foundation. After a discussion, it seems like the charity helps pay medical debt, medical bills, and other practical needs, which is much better than *some* others I could name. I regretted not being able to give their minimum there, as it was pretty high, but told them I'd give what I could when I got on the website.

I... did not. Money is tight, because I'm bad and irresponsible with money, even though this is more than a worthy cause. I didn't NEED to go to that tea place, and I don't NEED to spend so much money on food. Sure, I can justify it: I wanted to go to that place for so long, and it was near the college anyway! But, if I was responsible with money, you KNOW my friends direct fundraising drives would go first, worthy charities second. Still, I feel bad about it.

Then, I went to the college library, to get books to start my thesis research. I have literally been unable to go to the college itself, aside from getting my ID, so this was great! There just wasn't a reason. It was... very empty. I went to the library stacks, which was deathly quiet and deeply haunted by the old books. I half expected something to pop out at me, as I turned the stacks, but I wasn't even paranoid or anxious. It was like I was in something else's house. I was welcome, but on thin ice.

I picked up an irrelevant psychology book on the "schizophrenia problem" from the 1930s, out of morbid fascination, and quickly put it down when it threatened to shatter in my hands.

Some students walked past (which was a suprise in those monastic basement library stacks), and I added something to their conversation, in a totally natural and casual way. But, omg the poor girls, I made them jump! Luckily, I'm the least threatening person on earth, and we laughed it off.

After a lot of hunting, I got 5 out of my 10 books (for the most part)! (The rest are, sadly, online. I like to read physical copies.) Strangely, I only came in with a list to get 3 books out of 6.

Most of the books I got are about art in the AIDS crisis, which is the core of my thesis, I think, all with different value. One about exhibitions, one about the larger narrative of those gay artists, and another contradicting the larger narrative.

I also got a book about "Art and Homosexuality". Just, the parallel construction of both "art" and "homosexuality" across cultures and times, from earliest history to the modern age. It wasn't on my initial list, but I'm really excited to read it.

Finally, I got a book called "The Thief, the Cross and the Wheel", about the pain and spectacle of punishment in Medieval and Renaissance European art. I'm mainly interested in Italian Renaissance art of the crucifixion--and its masochism--for the second quarter of my thesis.

The rest are online, and Should mostly focus on Bacchus in the Italian Renaissance (especially through art) and what I call the art of "gay liberation", concurrent with the AIDS crisis (i.e. The Cockettes). These two topics make up the last half of my thesis.

I'm SO excited to get started!!

I even got to cross the college's sky-bridges! (The college is a few skyscrapers.) Still, the loneliness and novelty were kind of the same thought. Imagine if I had been here before COVID, or, if COVID hadn't happened. Who would I have been able to meet? What would the college buildings mean to me? Because, for now, they're just buildings. But, I got to see the street from above, and that was amazing!

Just walking through New York--the Upper East Side--on a cool, sunny day was beautiful. It takes 20-30 minutes to get from my place to the college (and the tea place), but it was great being able to listen to my music (a lot of They Might Be Giants on the playlist today) and see the city. You know, people, super cool old architecture being pushed out by terrible new architecture, and pigeons.

Oh my god, the pigeons. I took pictures, but none of them are good. I kept thinking about how pigeons and doves are functionally the same. We domesticated pigeons, which is why they're here, and no one is stopping to notice them? Even the ones that were splotched with pure white, like doves? There's only so many pigeons you can take until they're just white noise and a nuisance, I know, so don't think I'm blaming anyone! But it's so hard to look away from these quirky little birds.

Also, at one point my walk, I was vaping very strategicly. The mental task of searching through library stacks will do that to you, when you already have an addiction to nicotine. I made sure no one was around, and no one would be affected. I stopped on a corner next to an old, ornate Catholic church while the traffic light changed, and I almost juuled right next to a priest! I'm glad I stopped. I don't believe in Hell, but, I would have walked down there myself had I vaped at a priest. Still, the church advertised itself as LGBT+ friendly, so maybe they aren't so trigger happy on the damnation. Either way, I DIDN'T vape at a priest today, which is good.

Once I got back, I spent a few hours watching things with my amazing girlfriend Chloe, who you may know here as @cisphobiccommunistopinions. She is so beautiful, and I love her more every day, every time I see her. God, it's almost been 5 years!

I just wish I could spend more time with her. She's in Virginia, and I'm in New York. Like she said to me earlier, I'm flighty at the best of times, and, with my lack of object permanence for the digital world, I find myself not giving her the attention I deserve, or, the full connection I long to have with her. We used to live together. Luckily, someday we will live together again! All these problems won't be forever, and we can live together again.

We watched a lot of things, but we're pretty deep into Serial Experiments Lain right now. It's a postmodern anime from the 90s, and, wow, do I have no idea what's going on in it. It's about the internet, and potentially schizophrenia as well. However, I'm obsessed! One day I'll be able to crack this artistic code, and it's unreality, thematic knots, and double-meanings. I will probably understand it better on the second watch. I don't see myself in Lain, but I see my 14 year old self in her, when I had just developed schizophrenia. Her cyberpunk fate seems like it's railroaded towards tragedy, but I want to save her, even if it's silly and irrational.

I told Chloe that I was scared about spilling apple cider on my library books, and she referred to it as "The Great Apple Juice Disaster of September 11, 2021." To which I said that it was the second worst thing to happen in New York on that date. It was funnier if you were there, and also were in my brain at the time.

Anyway, tomorrow I'm meeting some online acquaintances from the college's "Queer Srudent Union" at a Japanese Culture Fair in a park. (I do not know which park.) It emphasizes "fun"! I don't know them very well, but they're friends with the one person I know irl, so it should be good.

Tomorrow night, I should Probably head downtown to check out a gallery show by MFA (masters of fine arts) students at Hunter! After all, I was in a group project with one of them, and they're absolutely brilliant. I missed the Thursday gallery opening by a landslide, because of the aforementioned lack of adhd meds and Being Asleep, which I infinitely regret. I could have listened to all the artists and curators talk about their art and exhibition! Maybe I could have even talked with the artists and curators. But, it's best for me to go sooner, rather than later, so I don't forget. And, I REALLY want to go.

It's "This dialogue which happened to be present in all other dialogues" at the Alyssa Davis Gallery. From the email I got, "Each of these works observes a threshold of transition. [...] [These] intimations [are] of a frame of mind shared by the artists. These works perform, record, access, engage, document, and entrap, embalming the viewer within the gallery space."

sgp is a really good artist, by the way. Their work is just next-level. Be sure to check out their art, if you have a chance. Let me link their portfolio: https://saragracepowell.com/

(I highly suspect spg and the other member of my group project ghosted me afterwards, but I understand. I was really in over my head. Still, they're both really sweet and kind people, don't get it twisted!)

I ALSO really want to see The Cake Boys. They're performing at the 3 Dollar Bill in Brooklyn on September 26th. (It's only $15!) They're the only all drag king collective in NYC! (Are... there any Other all drag king collectives out there?) Other than the fact that a lot of them are trans or nonbinary, which I love, this show is a totally non-judgmental competition for over 40 drag kings! I've heard their shows are hilarious and unique.

I just have to wait until I have $15 to spare. I... didn't eat dinner tonight, because I'm irresponsible with my money and don't want to ask my parents for money... again. Don't worry, it's literally fine, and I don't make a habit of doing this!

Which reminds me! For my birthday, my parents gave me a gift card to Lush! I'm definitely going to Lush tomorrow, which will be great. I would describe my personality as "Lush store employee acosting you about a bath bomb demonstration", so I'll fit right in.

I also made a transition timeline, to show how much I've changed on testosterone. For the better, I hope! I really believe I'm becoming, if not Have Become, the man I was always meant to be. It's so strange to look back at who I was not too long ago, and to know the absolute pain I was in. It's also strange, in a good way, to see the man looking back at me in the selfies. I'm so much happier now! Much more candid in my pictures, at least. But, I know that I'm so much more comfortable as myself than I was even 6 months ago. It's strange. Sometimes I think to myself, "I don't pass yet; I'm not who I Need To Be yet." Then, I look at my selfie from today, and... I'm THERE. My mind just hasn't caught up with my amazing, natural, normal reality.

The end. I have to get ready for bed, (even though I could be partying on a Saturday night in the city. I'm lame.) If you actually read this, I am kissing you on the mouth right now. I hope it made you calm down tonight, like a terrible bedtime story. If you didn't read it and just skipped to the end, don't worry: you did the rational thing.

#long post #diary entry

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biblio-bitch · 4 years ago

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Detroit Evolution Commentary Pt. 3 [FINAL]

It’s been a while, sorry. Life sucks ass sometimes and I had to do some transferring to my new laptop. I’ll write down some more fun facts as an apology. Disclaimer: This is all stuff I noticed, inferred, or interpreted. I didn’t write the film, anything I’ve interpreted is just that, an interpretation based on things I noticed using my experiences and knowledge.

Fun fact #1: I have attempted to write in a proper novel style at least five times. After watching DE and watching @octopunkmedia ‘s script breakdowns and such, I've started writing scripts instead. I’m much farther along in those than I ever have been in books. 10/10 amazing for my visual based concepts.

Fun fact #2: My mental health was rapidly declining and I was losing interest in quite literally everything at the time the film was released. Watching the film and fixating on it for a month straight not only inspired me but helped me regain control of my life. Watching streams by the cast and Michelle while I worked for school made my productivity skyrocket.

Fun fact #3: I recently developed a tic that I now can’t get rid of. It was out of control for about twenty minutes right before I began writing this post. However, when I began re-watching the film (partially because it’s a comfort for me and I’m quite honestly terrified of what’s happening in the US right now) it stopped. So that’s fun.

As usual, spoilers and swearing under the cut! Quick note: If there should be a trigger warning on this or anything else I post, please let me know! I’m horrible at remembering to tag triggers. I’ll also be doing some quick posts on Umbrella Academy and my severe obsession with Jason Todd soon. Have fun!

As usual, here’s a list of people I know the users of in case you’d like to check any of them out. I’m likely missing people so feel free to let me know who I’m missing so I can add them!

Maximilian Kroger - Nines (@ maximiliankroger)

Christopher (Chris) Trindade - Gavin (@ trindabago)

Michael Smallwood - Chris Miller (@ michaelsmallwoodforever)

Carla Kim - Tina Chen (@ carlahkim)

Jillian Geurts - Ada (@ jilbobaggins_nyc)

Michelle Iannantuono - (@ octopunkmedia)

JJ Goller - Lazzo (@ quasar.cos)

Brett Mullen - Cinematographer (@ brettmullendirector)

Austin Butts - Sound Design (@ austinbytts)

Tiare Solis - Valerie (@ tiareleiana)

So I decided to put all of the rest into this post. It’s a long one. Not even that sorry about it bc I love this film with my entire heart. Warning for me getting sidetracked. I use a lot of Supernatural references but it’s because I’m visiting my dad and he’s binge watching the show. I like Dean and only Dean, don’t bully me for it.

The Wrist Grip™️ in the bedroom before Nines moves back

Shoutout to Maximilian Kroger’s muscles u go dude

Lighting Symbolism™️, big theme through the movie, honestly I think it’s beautiful and they did a wonderful job with it.

The little nod from Gavin as he starts talking about his nightmare

You can see Gavin gearing up to move, like not in a normal way, in a “oh god I don’t know if I have the energy to do this” way and that’s Relatable™️

The little smile from Nines as they sit together

The SHARK PLUSHIE I LOVE HIM (THE SHARK HAS AN INSTAGRAM @ sharktreuse)

Nines being domestic, making coffee and breakfast, being Soft.

Shirt change??? Either I’m blind or he’s wearing a different shirt in the morning (He is. He’s wearing a t shirt at night and a buttoned collar shirt in the morning. Perhaps he changed? He’s wearing normal pants so he probably changed but he’s not wearing that same shirt in the next scene)

Ada eye rolling at them being passive aggressive dumbasses. Same. Apparently Jillian kept fucking with them which is,, so valid.

The lighting in this scene (the office pt. 2) makes Maximilian look Android-white and outlined in the CyberLife blue-ish color. Very symbolic, I have no idea if it was intentional.

Another shoutout, this time to Maximilian’s eyebrows, the expressiveness is *chef’s kiss*.

“You can thank me later, Casanova.” Nines: *confused Android noises*

Honorable mention to Michael’s Foo Fighters t shirt in the bar, it’s vintage.

Nines is in fact wearing a different shirt now. Not the same shirt from the morning bedroom scene. I also think he’s wearing a different jacket. Less of a peacoat and more of a leather jacket. Nice.

Shoutout to Tina’s (not irl) wife, Valerie! And her weird crush on Hank! I honestly can’t wait to see her in Seven Deadly Synths!!

Ada DODGING the questions that Nines is asking because she is SHADY.

Also, he looks to Gavin when he talks about wanting to be more human. Recurring theme of him perceiving himself as lacking because of his ace-ness/android-ness, like he can’t give Gavin what he wants. Honestly I know that the android thing is a thinly veiled metaphor for race in canon but I kinda like thinking of it as a metaphor for being LGBT+ and in Nines’ case, specifically ace. Might not make sense but it does in my brain??

Gavin Senses Are Tingling and Nines is GONE. Leaving the bar for ur not-bf to try to talk things out like adults??? King shit.

Also electric lighter, fun, I genuinely didn’t know those existed

SHIRT WITH UNBUTTONED COLLAR

“You don’t want to help me, you want to fix me.” What a loaded line. Because in a way, it’s almost true? Like, Nines has this entire simulation of Gavin in his ideal world, and obviously that version of Gavin has probably been idealized at least a bit. Nature of humanity, and Nines might not be human but he’s got the Brain Things. And at that moment, it’s nearly true that Nines wants Gavin to be like that ideal Gavin. Obviously Nines wants Gavin as Gavin, but there’s the edge of that simulation there, still.

But Nines does want to help Gavin, and that’s where he’s wrong. Nines wants Gavin to get better, wants to help stop the nightmares, etc. But by pointing that out, I think it’s partially why Nines can accept letting go of Simulation!Gavin when Ada attacks him. Because he knows that the simulation of Gavin will never be the real Gavin, and this line sort of helps him understand that he can’t really keep Sim!Gavin anyways.

Again idk if that’s legit but that’s definitely something I felt from that while watching.

Nines is constantly very controlled, but when he walks away from Gavin you can see him straining to keep that composure and not let his anger show.

Ada looking So Done With This Shit when Nines comes back from talking with Gavin outside of the bar

“I’m sure this will be like...every other time.” Oh honey. Oh my sweet child. I am so very sorry. It most definitely will not be.

Ada’s exasperated Eyebrow Raise before taking a drink. If that ain’t the mood sis.

I love Ada’s bat wings on her outfits.

Gavin being a stalker and putting his hood up.

“I’m...certain that most of the credit can go to you.” IMMEDIATE ANGER. Must Defend Boyfriend.

I SO WANTED HIM TO SAY “WISDOM” WHILE TALKING ABOUT GAVIN’S SKILLS BECAUSE IT WOULD MIRROR HIM TELLING GAVIN THAT HE ISN’T WISE BEFORE THEY LEFT FOR THE STAKEOUT. He didn’t, but instinct is a better word for Gavin anyways.

Nines has Suspicion™️...press X for doubt...

*Only vaguely related rant warning*

I do feel that we as a fandom tend to make Connor almost childishly innocent despite him being likely one of the least kind and least innocent characters. The characterization of Nines in this--and pardon me for the off topic rant--where he’s a fully grown man and acts like it is so much more realistic. Nines is a cop, as is Connor.

Even post deviancy, they were designed and equipped to handle murder. Nines, in a lot of fandom content, tends to come off as an exasperated older brother or a gritty and mean detective, or even worse, essentially a sociopath who feels nothing in contrast to Connor’s childish and extreme innocence. I dislike both. Seeing Nines be a normal fucking person is so relieving, I’m serious. There’s still those elements of ‘oh he’s only been properly alive for like a year, right? He probably doesn’t get Chris’ Casanova reference.’ but it’s not to such an extreme that it overtakes all of his personality traits.

Like, yeah, ok, I get why a lot of fandom content does that. In order to balance what we see Connor do (and in order to further push the Hank as a father line) we over-emphasize the not getting references and such. Honestly I see the same in content for Castiel from Supernatural. Nines, when he’s added, often HAS to be a lot darker in order to make that seem not as jarring and unrealistic.

Doesn’t mean I enjoy it. If you do? That’s great, good for you, but I don’t like seeing those characters be portrayed as such one dimensional extremes. People aren’t like that. On the off chance that someone is such an extreme, there’s still other aspects of their personality.

DE has done an amazing job at not flattening their personalities. Nines and Gavin are three-dimensional and incredibly interesting characters I find myself invested in every time I watch it.

*Onto the commentary again.*

Gavin is still being a stalker

“Particular fascination with the RK line” AHAHA funny. She’s also an RK, and she likely knows more than Nines because her programming is based on information gathering. Her fascination begins and ends with what their programming can do for her.

The little computer details in Ada’s eyes as she copies Nines’ OS, and again in Nines’ eyes when he’s in the alley alone. I believe Michelle did all of that and I am just amazed every time I watch.

The warped voice effect.

Gavin shifting to hold Nines as soon as he passes out

The ethereal colored lighting is very good for the mood, space hospital vibes

Shoutout to the latex suit they put Maximilian in! That’s not CG! He’s wearing a full body white latex suit. I’m so sorry.

Gavin looks so tired talking to Dr. Maria. His posture is defensive, pulled into himself. Shoulders hunched, arms pulled in. Eye bags, messy hair. Boy looked messed up. Somebody hug him.

Nines’ hair being disheveled and messy in the corrupted Zen Garden, rivaling his assertion that in his ideal world (Aka the normal Zen Garden) his appearance is polished, signifying the loss of control and the loss of the Zen Garden being a safe, ideal space for him. Same concept with Sim!Gavin being corrupted.

Nines: *wakes up in his mindspace*

Also Nines, immediately: GAVIN!!1!!1

Nines believes in CONSENT!! You do not go into someone’s program without asking, ADA.

Ada’s “poor widdle baby” face as Nines is freaking out because she trapped him. Mood.

Tina wearing a low turtleneck and a flannel is Peak Gay, especially next to Gavin “I wear the same leather jacket+hoodie combo every single day and probably the same jeans for a month” Reed, aka the most disastrous and chaotic bisexual I have ever seen. Again, a mood, I honestly felt that one.

The face when Nines realizes that Ada isn’t deviant yet.

Gavin is blaming himself somebody stop this idiot.

“Not without Nines.” What a softie.

“The last thing I said to him was ‘I don’t need you’.” BITCH WHAT THE FUCK MY HEART.

Gavin calling Tina “T” in that soft voice is so sweet omg

Ugh the bisexual LIGHTING is KILLING ME, ESPECIALLY as Gavin sits at Nines’ bedside

Tina encouraging Gavin. WLW/MLM solidarity.

Fun fact: Chris Trindade told Maximilian not to react at all to the big speech but Maximilian literally started crying during it and there’s footage somewhere of the Dramatic Single Tear rolling down his face while he’s still ‘in stasis’.

Yes, I double checked the streams to make sure I got this right, I love the concept though.

Look I cannot get into the speech because I will write 1.5k words on it, but I will say this: It made me cry. The acting, the writing, it’s iconic. The amount of love and devotion they got without even saying the words “I love you” was amazing. Chris is so very talented.

THERES A TAKE WHERE GAVIN FALLS ASLEEP NEXT TO NINES’ HOSPITAL BED AKSDGAKL IM SCREAMING

Tina is the best wingman ngl

The glitches in Zen Gavin are amazing. The sequence when he’s deleting the Zen Garden is also amazing. I use amazing a lot but it’s deserved.

Nines deleting the Zen Garden and Sim!Gavin is very symbolic of letting go of all of the fake stuff, letting go of the fear he was holding that kept him from confessing to Gavin and I love that

Nines sitting silently straight up.

Gavin is highly intelligent and I’m so glad Octopunk embraces that.

*another vaguely related rant warning*

Ok let me tell y’all a thing because this RUINS MY LIFE. People tend to take characters like Percy Jackson or Dean Winchester, whose intelligence isn’t outwardly obvious from the get-go, and remove it entirely. Percy is reduced to an idiot who can’t tie his own shoes and Dean is often shown basically unable to research without Sam. Both of those are bullshit.

Percy has ADHD and Dyslexia, so when often we categorize smart as only book-smart, Percy’s intelligence as a battle strategist and his actual knowledge gets erased. Dean is usually the more physical and shoot-first-never-ask-questions type, and his intelligence is severely downplayed. He made an EMP detector from scratch. Made a shotgun, remembers how to kill things, is a very good hunter, especially on his own. But that’s thrown away because he’s not book-smart.

I despise when people take characters who are talented and smart in ways that aren’t just reciting the periodic table and reduce them to muscles and angst or drooling children.

Octopunk having a scene where Gavin is working through a case, already having done the things that Chris, someone who was only recently promoted, suggests, is just affirming Gavin’s intelligence in a way I wish I could be not surprised by. Gavin is smart, and luckily I haven’t seen much downplaying that fact. He’s a detective for a reason. Unfortunately I think it might be because the fandom tends to turn Connor and Nines into actual children, but a win is a win.

Now I’m not saying I don’t love a good himbo character but I literally had to stop interacting with Percy Jackson content because people wrote him as incapable.

*Moving on*

“I think I can help with that.” Bitch why are you so dramatic I love him so much.

Nines’ t-shirt says “Detroit City Marathon”

“You...undead asshole.” What an iconic line. I need a t-shirt.

“I...hate you.” “You love me.” Harkens back to the beginning where the roles are reversed. Yes I used that unironically. Words are fun.

Gavin looking scared right before The Kiss™️

THE PULSE POINT!! THE SCENE WAS SUPER EMOTIONAL SO MICHELLE WANTED THEM TO DO YOGA ZEN SHIT TO PREPARE AND THEN THEY JUST DID THE THING BUT THEY PUT IN THE PULSE POINT

ANYWAYS THAT’S WHAT GAVIN IS FEELING FOR ON NINES’ WRIST RIGHT BEFORE THE KISS.

I thought that was cute when I learned it in one of the streams.

Nines’ LED spinning blue when they finally kiss asgladkaf

“What dipshit programmed you to do that?” “I’m the most advanced android ever made, detective-“ “oh you are such a fuckin’ prick!” “Takes one to know one.” I canNOT with them, I laughed my ASS off

The little broken laugh Nines does

Nines rubbing his hands over Gavin’s while they talk about Gavin’s jacket

Shoutout to Chris’ surprised pikachu face. (Tina is also there) That was a joke take, it’s in the gag reel, too. The face wasn’t supposed to make it into the film but Michelle added it. (In the gag reel, Carla yells “Let’s go to Denny’s!” At the end.)

And Ada’s leather pants. Honestly?? She’s so pretty. I love her. They’re all really attractive it’s actually terrifying.

Nines and Tina being a part of the Gay Turtleneck Gang

Nines’ untucked turtleneck

Tina being a Smart Girl. (Nines calling her “Officer” and her replying with “I’ll make detective someday.”

Chris being Exhausted during the whole meeting. Me too dude.

Chris and Tina doing literally nothing while Gavin and Nines have a whole heart to heart

The WHITE COAT. Tina in her blues. Chris’ Foo Fighters shirt. They’re such icons but they absolutely look like a group of gay ppl who did NOT decide on a theme.

The fight sequence is impressive, considering that they’re literally not stunt actors. I’m not a fight choreographer or stunt person so That’s really all I have to say on that.

Chris patting Gavin’s gun after he explains what he’s doing. \

As a Jason Todd lover the crowbar is unfortunate (had to, sorry)

Nines’ smirk and the TURTLENECK as he spins away from Ada with the crowbar. Iconic. The Big Dick Energy. Especially for someone who doesn’t have a dick.

Chris being a Dad when Gavin runs off to go stop the body calibration

Ada just YEETS Gavin. Iconic.

Ada: *doing the villain “you won’t shoot me, you’re too moral” thing*

Chris: Shut the fuck up *shoots her*

Deviancy sequence, iconic

“You’re awake now” bitch get your own tag line, Markus became Robot Jesus for this shit

He’s HOLDING HER HAND while DEFENDING HER!! PLATONIC HAND HOLDING

Gavin trusting Nines’ decision immediately. Amazing. THAT’S LOVE BITCH.

The SMILES after Ada leaves!! They know they made the right choice!

Ugh the COLOR SYMBOLISM!! This is one thing that Michelle has touched on herself! Gavin isn’t wearing white in this scene because he’s not ‘fixed’, he never will be! He has trauma and he’s just barely beginning to heal from it with Nines’ help. He’s wearing grey, lighter than his usual, but still grey because they aren’t pure or innocent and they’re not perfect!! And that’s the fucking point!! It’s also a contrast against Sim!Gavin wearing white! Sim!Gavin was an idealized version of Gavin in Nines’ idealized world!! Real Gavin isn’t that!! So he’s wearing grey!!

Gavin immediately understanding that Nines is Ace and that it’s ok!! Beautiful!

“You’ve been a whole person since the day you woke up” YES!! YOU DO NOT NEED SEX TO BE WHOLE!! FUCK YEAH!!! (this is ace excitement. In the months since writing this I realized I’m aro-ace and trans so fuck yeah for ace rep.)

Gavin being a dick and making Nines tell him about the skin thing

THE KISS!! They slowly move more into the light!! Because they’re getting better TOGETHER!!

Ok before I sign off, it’s only 3 am so I think I’m awake enough to talk about this, I like that they bring up that Gavin has like, actual issues that he needs to get through. Let’s be 100% honest here, I see Gavin as having ADHD, depression, and probably a form or symptoms of PTSD. He’s kinda fucked up and I’m gonna be real here he needs some therapy. He’s got trauma and needs to work through it.

I like that at the end they explicitly have Nines understand and accept that that’s what needs to happen. As someone who has actually had relationships ruined because of trauma (on both sides) that we were unprepared to work through together, if I had seen something like that? Game changer. As it was, most relationships I had seen were idealized and seemed to “fix” those issues by way of just being in a relationship. Thanks major media.

Now that the Detroit Evolution post series is over, I’m gonna be a bit sentimental and say that this film quite literally changed my life. Seriously. Michelle is such a big inspiration for me and I can only hope to be the same for someone else.

If you ever have a chance to check out any of the amazing people who worked on this film, please do. To put into context how big this was: I changed my ideal college major from Forensics to Film.

That’s it that’s all, ending this post at 3:24 am before I literally start crying over it. Thanks for suffering through my long-winded explanations, I hope you enjoyed. Have a wonderful day.

#theo watches Detroit Evolution #octopunk media #reed900 #gavin reed #rk900 #look I tagged Michelle because I have shit impulse control and I wanted y'all to have like #a direct link to her page #i might cry if she sees this and comments on it #seriously I might #happy tears though #it's 3 am and my tic is back #I have no impulse control rn #and I would fight god #also if y'all wanna request something head to the askbox or the dms #I'll look into it

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yulmoldauer · 4 years ago

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its better not to say such things out loud (Tyson Jost/OC): Chapter One

part 2

Story summary: Mason Wright was recently traded and because an Av. Sometimes a fresh start with a new team across the country is what a guy needs, right? It seems to work out, going to a place where no one truly knows you. That is, until someone finds out what you’re desperately trying to hide.

Chapter 1

Summary: Mason’s had a rough game, to put it simply. It was never the best idea to get into a fight with someone bigger than you. They won even with him taking a five-minute major for fighting halfway through the third period. The team goes out to celebrate his 23rd birthday post-win and Tyson takes care of getting him home and to sleep safely.

Warnings: None, I believe! Just some drinking mentioned and there’s a drunk character if that makes you uncomfortable. There’s also a slur against lgbt people used.

Words: 1,968

Notes: The title is from The Stigma (Boys Don’t Cry) by As It Is. This is the thing with the LGBT main character that I’ve had a few different people tell me they’d be interested in :) I’m having a lot of fun writing and plotting this so far, so let me know if you enjoy!

There were perks to being smaller than most other people in the league. Being an extremely fast and skilled defenseman was one of them.

Being outmatched in every possible articulation, being compared to a chihuahua yapping at a pitbull, everything like that. Which is how he ended up in the penalty box for five fucking minutes, the asshole in the box next to him chirping him the entire time, it seemed like.

“What are you, a fag?”

That was what Mason heard fly by him, aimed at Jost who wouldn’t get into a fight to draw a penalty. Mason knew for a fact that’s what the guy was trying to do. He still took the bait when Tyson didn’t.

Mason was smaller than nearly every player he knew. Watching him get into a fight was exciting yet painful at the same time for anyone with a brain. The other guy was at least six-foot compared to the five-foot-eight Mason. To say it was outmatched…

Mason was going to be lucky if he didn’t come out of this with some scrapes and bruises. A broken nose was pretty likely as well, once he thought about it.

But hearing that word ignited something in him that overtook the reasoning section of his brain and both of them were dropping gloves. Sure, he’d definitely have a black eye tomorrow, but he’d gotten a few good licks in as well.

They still won the game, which was nice.

“Dude, you gotta at least get into it with guys in your weight class.”

“You’re funny, Landeskog. Whole fucking league is out of my weight class,” Mason huffed as he stripped his padding off of his lean torso.

“Yeah, kinda the point,” Zadorov shrugged. “Not your fault you’re smaller, just the way it is.”

“I get it, I’m short,” he ran a hand through his wavy helmet hair and reached down to unlace his skates. “Z, you can fight for me, then. I’ll run my mouth and you can do all the hitting.”

“With you? Don’t take it, man, Wright can go on and on for hours,” Tyson chirped from across the room. That earned him a glove chucked at his face.

“Fuck y’all. I don’t even have a good comeback.”

“Because it’s true!”

Okay, maybe it was true. Mason was just a talker, it’s how it was.

Tyson gave him endless shit about it, but really he didn’t mind. He actually enjoyed just being able to turn his brain off and absorb whatever stuck from what Mason was going on about. Usually it didn’t even matter--ranting about how a show got robbed of some award that doesn’t even matter, spewing information about whatever book he was reading, going off about whatever asshole did something stupid during his day-- Tyson would just let him go until he ran out of steam. Conversations were nice, too, when he was in just a talkative mood as well.

Mason did know how to shut up, though. Sometimes. (Hint: that’s what made him the favorite out of the Wright/Zadorov best friend duo. He could be quieter than Z. They’ve threatened to separate the two on multiple occasions, though.)

“What’d that guy even do to rile you up? You looked pissed,” Nate broke Mason out of his train of thought.

“Just called someone something stupid. I’m not gonna repeat it.”

“He called me a fag because I wouldn’t take the bait for the penalty,” Tyson said soon after. “He’s just a fucking moron because he got a longer penalty than any of us.”

There was an uncomfortable moment as that sunk in, then a few “what the fuck” or “that’s gross” phrases before people moved on to heading to the showers.

Mason was about to sneak away when Tyson called out his name.

“Hey, I wanted to catch you before you hit the shower. You got a second?”

“Yeah, sure. I just have to do some pt kind of stuff before I shower. What’s up?” he offered with a friendly smile.

“I just wanted to thank you for sticking up for me. You definitely didn’t have to, but calling him on it drew a ton of attention to it. I think it’s really important to start weeding that shit out of the sport, y’know?”

“Yeah,” Mason smiled. “I--thanks, man. That means a lot to me.”

“‘Course,” Tyson gave a nod. “And you know if you were, like… y’know, gay or… anything, really, I wouldn’t care. And neither would anyone else on the team. It’d totally be okay.”

Mason wanted to give him a reassuring “I know” but couldn’t. Hockey was definitely not the environment known for welcoming lgbt kids and turning them into well-adjusted, accepted adults.

“Thanks,” Mason murmured. “Really, that means a lot.”

“Of course,” Tyson breathed, like he was getting a huge weight off his chest. “Um, yeah. I’ll let you go do your physical therapy stuff now. I’ll see you at the bar after everything’s done here?”

“Yeah, I’m not gonna ditch you for my birthday, idiot.”

With an excited smile, Tyson turned and headed in the opposite direction.

Once he reached an area to chill out while waiting for the showers to clear out, Mason sighed, plopping into a chair and resting his head in his hands.

Obviously he knew why Tyson brought up starting to call out homophobia and other bigoted shit they were all used to just overlooking. But why did he bring up the whole ‘we’d accept you no matter what’ thing?

The thought of ‘he was very sensitive to a slur so maybe he’s gay’ never crossed Mason’s mind. That would simply be too easy and rational.

Did Tyson know he was different? What exactly did Tyson know? There was no way Tyson would out him, but still. Trusting people to keep a secret was hard. It was just easier to bottle everything up.

God, he needed to figure this out.

Maybe he’d get drunk enough tonight to just forget for a little while. He didn’t get drunk or even drink all that often, he could let go every now and then.

At the beginning of the night, Gabe took his keys, promising that he’d give them to whoever would be driving Mason home. They all knew for a fact Mason wouldn’t drive drunk, it wasn’t even in the realm of possibilities. Honestly, they were more worried about the newly twenty-three-year-old losing them or putting them somewhere so he’d ‘remember where they are later’, which was proven ineffective at the last gathering Gabe threw.

“If you can’t figure out where the stupid keys are, he can come get them in the morning or I can drop them off to him or something,” Gabe rolled his eyes.

“You’re sure you don’t remember where you put them?” JT triple-checked. He’d been the designated driver for a few of them, including Mason, Tyson, and a couple others who had already gotten out to the car.

Mason shook his head. “I’m not even that drunk,” he insisted.

“Uh-huh. Gabe, just let me know if you find ‘em and we can work something out for him in the morning.”

Twenty minutes later, Gabe sent a picture and “anyone know who these belong to?” in the group chat. It was, without a doubt, Mason’s keys, adorned with a keychain reading “DETROIT” in graffiti lettering. He was from Detroit, and everyone knew that he refused to take that keychain off until it literally fell off for some sentimental reason, most likely.

‘Lol where’d you find it?’ someone texted back.

‘My dishwasher. His wallet was there too’

Mason has still never heard the end of that. No matter how hard he tried to explain that when he put them somewhere, it meant that he wouldn’t lose them or buy something stupid online (last time that happened, he bought a thing to hang on a window so your cat could sit on it and sunbathe. Mason has not owned a cat at any point in his life.) and he’d remember where it was once he sobered up.

Of course he still gets relentless shit for it. He wouldn’t expect any different.

Currently, Mason and Z were arm wrestling over a table in the back of the bar, people beginning to call it quits and going home. And with his pride hurt that he could not beat Z in an arm wrestling match, Tyson stole the other’s keys and wallet from Gabe, saying goodbyes and forcing Mason to as well.

“You are blasted, man.”

“Mmph,” he shrugged and laid his head against the passenger window. “I wanna lay down and sleep.”

“You can when I get you home. Gimmie your seatbelt so I can buckle you in.”

Mason followed the order with a small pout, not drunk enough to the point of incoherence but… definitely a little fucked up. Tyson had done this before: dealing with the mopey friend at the end of the night. Mason was definitely one to get mopey or clingy once they left the main event.

“My face hurts.”

“That checks out, buddy. I’ll get you some ice for it back at your place. What?” Tyson continued to ask when Mason stared out the windshield all angsty.

“Still can’t believe I couldn’t beat Z.”

“That guy could slam most of us through a table, don’t beat yourself up.”

“Can’t. Someone already did.”

“You’re full of jokes, huh?”

Mason just grinned sleepily as they pulled into the apartment complex and Tyson had an arm wrapped around his friend to keep him steady. Getting a drunk person to go to bed was usually one of the hardest parts of the night.

“Would you just--”

“I got it,” Mason huffed, fumbling with his keys near the lock of the door.

“Dude.”

“Shut up, you’re gonna wake up my neighbors,” he grumbled, finally getting the door open with a triumphant “see? I’m an adult.”

“I see. Go be an adult and get ready to go to bed,” Tyson rolled his eyes, taking the keys out of the door and locking it behind them.

“I don’t wanna sleep,” he replied quickly.

“You’re drunk, what do you mean you don’t want to sleep?”

“Not tired,” he flopped down on the couch.

“At least get out of your clothes. That way if you fall asleep it’s in pajamas.”

Mason was sprawled out, already clicking through Netflix.

“Fine, I will go get you pajamas. Here,” Tyson pressed a cold compress to a bruise on his face and headed to the bedroom.

“Thanks for driving me,” he heard from the other room.

“‘Course,” Tyson called back. “Here, put these on,” he tossed the clothes at Mason.

“Are you staying here? You can take the guest room, if you want.”

“Sure. Probably easier than trying to get home this late,” Tyson shrugged and headed for the kitchen. As he heard the rustling around of what he assumed was his friend changing, Tyson got a glass of water and painkillers for when Mason woke up.

“I can drive you home tomorrow,” Mason slurred even more heavily as he began getting more tired. He’d managed to get his jeans off and a pair of shorts on before moving onto the shirt. He’d just pulled his shirt off when Tyson walked back in the room with the water.

“Woah,” he said quietly, stopping quickly.

For whatever reason, he’d never realized that he had never seen his teammate and friend shirtless. That was weird, especially when you played sports together for a living. He assumed it was due to the faded scars along his chest, almost in a u-shape under each pec.

He didn’t even know what kind of injury would cause that kind of surgery.

“When did you get surgery?”

Fuck was all that ran through Mason’s head.

#nhl #hockey #mens hockey #hockey imagine #nhl imagine #fanfiction #m/m ship #nhl fanfiction #hockey fanfiction #hockey fandom #nhl fandom #tyson jost #avalanche #colorado avalanche #Colorado Avalanche fanfic #my stuff

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tonyglowheart · 4 years ago

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This entire thing is a rant, feel free to ignore it, but I saw your post about how destiel fans can’t win in this context, and yeah. So have some rambles.

I’ve been thinking about the fact we (current spn/destiel fans) can’t win all night... I’ve seen so many people talking about how homophobic it is - and while I would very much like to argue, as every point I’ve seen made by a non-spn fan has been wrong so far, if I did everyone inside the fandom would agree and everyone outside would either call me straight or pity me for believing it’s okay.

(Cas wasn’t even sent to hell lmao. He was sent to angel death (the empty), a place he has escaped in the past. Other points, like that meta about spn has been predicting exactly this for months, that Dean ended up sobbing on the floor because he was so upset, like that death means next to nothing on spn, like that there is two episodes left, etc etc. you feel me right? I just don’t want to post wank to other spn blogs atm, we’re getting enough frustration as it is, no need to add to it.

It’s also worth pointing out that the bar is very, very low. Spn is a prominent TV show - not a Netflix show, or indie, or whatever - and it just said “main character in gay love saved the world”. [insert gif of ghostfacers dude saying that gay love can pierce through the veil of death and save the day here]

I just saw someone saying that spn having Naomi try to brainwash Cas out of loving dean makes spn homophobic (it is a conversion therapy parallel). My first response to that is that Naomi was the villain lmao? I guess we can’t write villains doing anything homophobic because having villains do homophobic things makes, uh - checks notes - villains look homophobic, and clearly we can’t have that.

There certainly are legitimate things to criticise spn about, but this isn’t it lol.

Also now some people are unironically trying to cancel Jensen because “his acting was homophobic, and so he’s clearly homophobic”, nevermind that he’s an actor and his character struggles with understanding his emotions (which I think he played excellently, myself. That scene had a very Dean delayed emotional response), nevermind the support he’s given to us queers in the past. Like. Idek man.

We would have been laughed at if we got no destiel, too.

It would have been worse, had the writers pulled a dumbledore. At this point I also trust the writers not to pull a GoT - they have explicitly criticised that ending in spn’s canon.

Spn’s writers did that by making the main villain of this season, Chuck / God, say GoT had a good ending. To reiterate a previous point I had: villains do bad things because they’re bad. And the bad things they do make them bad. For the people out there not still following, if someone does something in a story and it makes them a villain, that is explicitly telling you the story (and probably the writers) thinks that thing is bad. In this case, Chuck likes to write things for him, and we the audience have been shown and told that is bad.

Apparently thinking a gay confession is good in 2020 makes me straight. Seems unlikely, but whatever. Sorry for the length, I guess I went overboard, I’ve been holding it in lol. Anyway, DESTIEL IS CANON 💚💙 hope you have a good night

Helloo supernatural anon I hope you are living your best life right now. Yeah I’m like..... skeptical and leery myself but having lived through some absolute garbage discourse that is general purity wank, as well as the C/QL greater fandom here and on Twitter I find myself... much more wanting to question the “general wisdom” of things esp in terms of negativity, bc a lot of the time I find.... it’s wrong? Like so wrong. Or at least presents such an incomplete picture of the whole situation and also presents it in such a removed context that words that have meaning and are operationalized in a certain way for a reason, no longer have meaningful usage.

Anyway I don’t... know too much about the specifics of Spn but someone I follow is into it and talks a lot about the Gnostic stuff and that all was very fascinating to me, and I also have been grappling a lot with cultural Christianity bc of cmedia and the way ppl just *clenches fist* unthinkingly or uncritically slap some Christian norms on it and call it a day 😩 help I’m Tired. My thing here being... I actually got tired of the uncritical “superhell”s at some pt bc I am, in fact, incredibly exhausted with cultural Christianity, and because it does seem like, even possibly(?) without the Gnostic stuff it’s different from a “hell” or other Protestant-derived afterlife concept, and also yeah that it wasn’t seeded out of nowhere, it was set up to happen, which then... lends credence to the idea that whatever the current era of Spn is doing, the current showrunners are doing it with purpose.

And idk I just... refuse to believe the concept that ALL of the fans of Spn - esp the ones who have been following it still, or got back into it and are following it currently, are acting under delusion or are fooling themselves into liking it or thinking it’s good or whatever. I personally find that kinda infantilizing and patronizing and playing into issues of dismissing things women and/or other marginalized identities like.

Plus I find the concept that (from what I think I’ve been seeing Spn fans say) that the current era of the show is quite actively grappling with itself, its past, its legacy. to be very interesting and compelling; it hearkens back to like an old lore kind of feeling, of a thing that has grown into a nigh undefeatable monster and realizing that, also realizing that the only way to defeat itself is through grappling with its own nature and transforming and transmuting itself into something else. I personally find that more plausible and compelling than “Supernatural has been actively and continuously queerbaiting for 15 homophobic homophobic years., so right now we’re all very sorry for you because this maybe is no longer queerbaiting but it’s still homophobic and it can never be anything different ever.” I’ve been sort of tangentially aware of Spn thru the years and didn’t we agree, around the time of that in-universe play about Spn and with the lil Destiel shoutout, that Spn has come a ways as far as coming to terms with its fandom and working to treat its fans better? Why the sudden regression into “oh no, Supernatural is and forever will be homophobic and a hate crime”? 🤔

The rest under a cut bc the ask is already long and then my rambling will get longer-

But yeah I mean..... I get that the legacy of Supernatural has been certifiably Rough, but I think people also forget how different of a time 2005 was? Hell, how different of a time 2015 was, even, prior to, say, Obergefell v. Hodges. Now I’m not saying that to blanket-excuse Supernatural, but like, you look at mainstream shows from the era and... there’s a lot of shit lmao. The fact that Supernatural has existed this long seems to me like.... maybe we CAN look at how it’s developed through the years vs just insisting it is what it was 15, 10, hell, 5 years ago. Especially since, to my knowledge, there’s been showrunner changes? Which seems to me like it would... affect things? I mean honestly, I remember back when I got into Spn for a hot second because of Castiel, I remember watching panel, Q&A, etc vids thru the years, and like... I thought we agreed that... it was the fans who were going a bit far pushing the shipping question like literally ALL the time to the actors, who are not in control of the show and.... like at the time.... that could have had personal implications for them? And yes homophobia bad, and people can still be allies despite that, but again like.... I do feel like - from what I’ve seen - that these guys were NOT ready to deal with a lot of that but they’ve (okay Jensen I’m talking about Jensen here) genuinely grown and learned? Also how many years ago was the essay autograph thing that people keep trotting out, like what year was it in and what year of spn was it, and what were the prevailing opinions on LGBT issues and bisexuality then.

I’ve been seeing some murmurings of identity politicsing surrounding ppl who enjoy Supernatural, and I’m sorry that that’s happening to you, it really fucking sucks and it’s also the dumbest way to “make” or “win” an argument because it shouldn’t ever be a final determiner, just factors to consider when considering what life experiences might have informed someone else’s PoV and views as well as maybe how you can better communicate with them. Instead of it being a “weapon” or “tool” to either dismiss someone or de facto validate an argument.

Also yeah I get it that you don’t want to send discourse to spn blogs bc I imagine you guys ARE actively grappling with all the bs rn and it’s a lot. Even just from like, the stuff I see around, I’m like tired of it. I’m genuinely having more fun with ppl who are having a good time with Supernatural than the ppl who are hating on it, even in this sort of backhanded “oh we’re not clowning YOU we’re clowning the writers and showrunners who think you should be satisfied with this,” when... yeah? the people who HAVE been watching the show and therefore... know what’s up.. DO seem to be? And all this based on *fake gasp* context. And that’s where the backhandedness becomes kind of poisonous to me, because it implies that it IS bad, and that you SHOULDN’T be satisfied, but poor little you are but don’t worry, we’re not making fun of YOU for liking garbage, you’re just the hapless victim who is consuming the garbage bc... idk, whatever reasons ppl are coming up with ig.

idk man it’s 2020. Fandom isn’t activism, performative or otherwise, it’s okay to let people enjoy things even if you think they’re “objectively” bad, and like... I don’t know if people can call something bad when they’re not even working with the whole context and instead are dealing with rumor and reputation.

#supernatural cw #I tag this for ppl who I know want nothing to do with spn rn and are blacklisting and so it doesn't end up in main tag #Anonymous #asks answered #long post

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highkingfen · 5 years ago

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Hey, just wanted to say you’re a good and gentle person that I admire a lot. I decided to not watch season 5 for personal reasons and I did rant about it a lot in a way that I kinda regret now when I understand that, for some people, it’s their main source of joy. You’re a brave and kind person who deserves to have some fun in her life and I’m sorry for, in a way, raining on your parade (not you in particular but you’re one of the most active TM fan and you’ve been through a lot recently)

Hey nonnie!

Thank you for sending this message and I will put it public and on the main tag so anyone can see it and see your apology. I accept them and I am proud of you for coming up and saying this because apologizing is one of the hardest things to do our days. Knows that I have no hard feeling towards you and if you want to talk to me off anon Id be glad to tell you IRL how I forgive you

After season 4 the tag has been a mess, its true. And I will never deny people who are angry and refuse to see the show or boycott it. I understand it hurts people and some found it unforgivable. I get that.

What hurts the most its when attack becomes personal and-or towards fans. If you decide not to watch a thing it's ok but attacking others who do not think like you is not ok. I had to block people I liked and-or adore their work because things got personal toward me specifically.

We are talking about a tv show here, not about true life-and-death policy (such as encouraging a nazi party, being pro-caging-the-immigrant ect..)

YES the show feels real. YES they are more than character, Heck I am the first to admit I identify with Fen to a degree that is a bit unhealthy (though I am aware and try to remind myself that she is not real). I mean heck Brittanny DM on twitter to be sure I was ok after last episode cause I have a heavy trigger about cheating.

But their meaning to you does not mean it has for the rest of the community. So if you were hurt by what happened to Q or how the writer handled it, it is up to you to decide what you want to do with it. But saying to others they should not is removing them the power of having a different opinion or to take the show as entertainment.

Here how I watch the show: I am FULLY aware of what they did in s04 and I am saying their treatment of Qw as not ok. Yet I continue to watch. My husband told me I can watch a show that is a problematic fave. And I kinda felt better after he made me realize I can be aware of the show's flaws and still enjoying it

Now I am not saying you are not allowed to rant and say you dont like the show. But I truly believe there is a way for us who watch the show and those whe need to vent to co-exist together. And for that please tag your things! I tag all my season 5 things with ‘’season 5′’ or ‘’info:season 5′’ and I simply ask people to tag their negative rant with their own thing (I saw magicians negativity, magicians salt, tm rant etc.) that way you can block anything season 5 and I can block things that I dont have the emotional energy to engage every time I go on the tag.

I do read some of the criticism. When I can. When I mentally can. And I hope you and others understand why I am a big fan of tags. Those who refused I simply block them because they basically say ‘’I do not respect your mental health but you have to respect mine’’ which is total hypocrisy

Just...dont attack other people on internet. You put your hurt into anger and anger into hate (Yoda said it better I know, I know) and all this energy should be put into better use to make sure the writer and producer learn to know better instead of being the police of who-watch-what.

Now about the joy part. There is a podcast I adore and is part of the reason I started to write the DND book two years ago (omg already). Its call The adventure zone. And one of the character said this sentence that kinda changed my life

What brings me joy is… life. I think you can find joy anywhere in life, I think it’s a conscious choice. I think you choose joy in life. And no matter how bad things are, no matter how crummy, no matter how dark, no matter how many times some guy named John kills your ass- you find joy. I’ve found joy, honest to God, getting to know you. I’ve found joy playing chess with you. I have enjoyed-I haven’t enjoyed you know, getting my ass killed, but I find joy in whatever I do. I don’t always do things right, and I don’t always do things smart, and I don’t always do a character voice, but whatever I do, I find joy in it. Because at the end of the day, that’s all you got. It’s looking back on the joy you had, and the joy you found, and the joy you gave other people.

I do not deny that some people might not find joy into The Magicians anymore. But I do. Despite its flaws. Knowing its flaws. I do not watch it blindly thinking its the best representation we have nor days (not anymore). But I still love it and having a ‘’Magicians Day!’’ every Wednesday brings me joy. Making edits of the show bring show joy. Screaming about plot twist brings me joy.

So I choose joy by still loving the magicians

and I hope, dear anon, you do to. In anything, you decide to love in your life.

PS: Listen to the adventure zone its fucking good and theres good LGBT character in it:P

#the magicians #sorry for the novel I got inspired I guess #anyway #A Bunny #cath answers a bunny

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float-me-now · 5 years ago

Text

created by @johnmurphysreddit saw it in @kittinoir's blog

Find your fandom kru and help them find you. Answer the following and include the tag #the100blog in your answer, then tag some of the blogs you follow.

1. What are your primary topics?

Mainly The 100, I occasionally post stuff about Mr Robot, Harry Potter, Gintama and Haikyuu!!, I also like music (mostly metal but not only) and nature, so expect to find something like that too, and everything that I find right to share :)

2. What tags should a visitor check?

I have quite a precise tagging system because I'm a pretty obsessive person lol. Regarding The 100, I tag posts referring to the characters featured in the post and the season I'm talking about. Cast and behind the scenes stuff are tagged accordingly. I've recently found out about the "stan vs anti" culture, and even though I call myself a "Murphy stan" to express my love for the character, I do not support "anti culture": to me, it's more like writing/reblogging critique, thoughts and rants because I'm passionate about something, not because I want to spread hate. However, I will tag some of my posts as "anti" if I write/reblog something that could be seen as "not character friendly".

3. What do you love about The 100?

Oh boy!

- First of all, I love the concept: survival, radiation-soaked planets, difficult decisions, morals, fight-or-die situations, discarded youth who become the saviors of the human race.

- Then, good fight and action scenes (and some well-presented violence), no random sex scenes to lure a certain kind of audience.

- The costumes. Absolutely love the looks.

- Different cultures, a *freaking* new language.

- The beautiful sceneries and effects, sci-fi stuff, complex different plots that are all linked together.

- Powerful women and a bit of LGBT representation, complex characters.

- The freaking PARALLELS guys. I live for that stuff.

- The featured songs and OSTs (I discovered some great artists while watching the series).

- John Murphy, because of all he is, and the other epic characters I'm not sure how I'll live without (Raven, Bellamy, Roan, Octavia, only to name some).

- The cast. I've never had the pleasure to meet them, but they all seem like really fun, nice and loving people. I've watched some videos about conventions and they look like an awesome group!

- The talented part of the fandom that blesses us all with edits, gifs, fanarts and so on :')

4. What do you hate/what frustrates you about The 100?

- Bad character writing (see Bellamy Blake in season 6). Luckily, it doesn't happen often throughout the series. Same goes for some dialogues that are absolutely stupid (see some of Bellamy and Clarke's lines in 1x04 or 1x10).

- Abby Griffin and her "holier than thou" attitude even if she's the literally the character who acts in the most selfish way throughout the show. Also, her ridiculous tendency to make decisions involving other people's lives without considering the facts but just what "she hopes" (mostly season 1). If you are responsible for other people's lives you can't base your decisions on hope, it's ludicrous.

- Clarke Griffin. Not her in particular, and there were many moments in which I really liked her! More like the atmosphere of "we can't do anything without Clarke-she's the most important person in the world-she can do no wrong". I mean yes, she's the main character but there are many other characters that have beautiful and important qualities and overlooking them to focus on Clarke constantly is pretty ridiculous. And there ARE moments in which she made bad decisions, and it's not wrong to call her out for that, she's human. Instead, she's always praised and deemed to be this faultless, perfect hero.

- Sometimes, some things that happen between the characters are not developed or talked through. I understand that it would take like 289 episodes to get the characters to explore all the relationships between them though 😅.

- Memori. That's right: Memori is my NOTP :") To be clear: i see why most people like it, I obviously ADORE Murphy and I don’t hate Emori, I just don't like them together.

-Something more fandom-related: the endless bitching about Bellarke/Clexa. I double despise it not only because it's obnoxious and brings people down, but also because it makes some people who ship them in a civilized way look bad.

5. Is this exclusively a The 100 blog?

Nope but mainly :)

6. What else should people know?

I will likely vent and write rants about this series, and I want to make clear that I don't want to attack anyone, I just care a lot about this show!

Also, I have some difficulties with socializing but I like to interact with the nice people here so asks in particular are always very welcome :)

Tagging @bimurphy, @ayakomspacekru, @bananase221, @john-dontcallmejohn-murphy, @murphamyking, @bunker-boyfriends, @komraekenkru, @youmissedthewholeshow, @clarkewithameme, @dizzy-powerless and @aglicoe!

If you follow me and see this, consider yourself tagged :)

And, as usual, if you don’t feel like doing it, feel free to ignore!

#the 100 #the 100 fandom #fandom kru #tag game #the 100 tag game #the100blog #get to know me

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btsandvmin · 5 years ago

Text

Getting it out of the way...

Okay, so here’s the thing. I get a lot of questions about other ships, mainly about Ji/kook and I just want to say that while I understand that a lot of you are curious about my opinion on them there are a few things I would like to say about the topic of other ships.

If you don’t want to read about other ships I suggest you don’t keep on reading. I also apologize if I sound rude and that this post is a mess, but I really just wanted to answer this and get it done as I don’t really find much pleasure in it.

I want to say to you who sent these asks that I hope you don’t feel that I have anything against you, because you have said nothing wrong or offensive. You clearly like my posts and I really love you all for supporting me and liking my thoughts to much! <3

I just don’t really like talking more about other ships than Vmin. So sorry if you feel sad about my replies. I wasn’t actually sure if I should answer some of these questions at all.

However I am, but be aware that this could be difficult to read for shippers of “all sides” including Vmin shippers. It’s basically just me ranting and speculating as I share my own views.

First of for me it’s much more fun to talk about Vmin and their bond, it’s what I love and it’s the reason I made this blog. Again, not to prove what ship is real or not, but simply to talk about Vmin and what if’s based on things I notice. Also as a bit of a counter to other shippers who love to analyze but always act 100% certain of being right. I also still think that most likely BTS has non straight members but that the odds of there being an actual couple are rather small. But if there is one maknae line is definitely the most suspicious ones for various reasons.

Secondly even if another ship is real you can’t put the relationships against each other. Seeing more of one dynamic doesn’t automatically mean that the other is lesser or has been replaced. Even if two of the members are together why does that mean that they wouldn’t be close with or love another member? If that would be true it would reflect rather poorly on the members involved, basically either making them obsessive/possessive/jealous to the point where it affects their relationship with their friends. Or being neglecting towards your friend because of a romantic relationship. Maybe this could be true in the start (honeymoon phase) of a relationship but we are talking about people who know each other and has been friends for years. You really think Jimin or Tae would abandon the other to the point of not spending any time together outside of work? We know that’s not true, we know they still spend time together even if we don’t hear about it as often. I just think it’s weird to pitch the members against each other in that way, or imply that one or more of them would be insensitive enough to do this for such a long time even if someone suffers for it. Love is not a competition. Fine if it would be mutual and they wouldn’t want to spend time together, but at least we can see that Vmin clearly love each other and they still indicate often that they like spending time together. So why wouldn’t they?

Thirdly, do you even realize how much we don’t get to see? I’ve said it before but idols manage to have relationships that are completely hidden with people they can’t meet very often. If BTS has a couple within the group they surely get to spend more time together than the normal relationship even outside of what we as their fans get to see. But it’s also much more risky and easy to expose if you say or do the wrong thing. Even if fanservice is something they can hide behind partly. In this sense, even Tae/kook makes more sense with how little we get to see from them despite obviously knowing they spend time together too. Just saying that no matter how much we think we get to see, there is still a lot we don’t see. And the things we do get to see are edited and often managed by Big Hit (even though I do not think that all the staff like editors and directors etc would be aware of a relationship if is there is one).

Fourth if there is an actual homosexual couple I think it would be in both their own self-interest and from Big Hit’s perspective to not let it show, at least not too much considering how the fans really look into every single thing. I could be wrong and maybe Big Hit is planning to let Ji/kook come out or be in a glass closet, but it would likely be devastating to their careers. Just a few days ago I saw Korean netizens comment that homosexuals are basically psychopaths. It would mean that they would put being together openly above the success of the group and honestly I just personally don’t think that fits with either Jimin’s nor Jungkook’s personalities who has sacrificed a lot of other things for BTS and their fans (I know this sounds horrible, just saying it’s a huge deal). Not right now at least, when they have renewed their contracts and still has military service to go through. Engaging in “homosexual activities” during military service is even punishable by law in Korea. Of course I don’t know any of this as fact and I do think Big Hit and BTS are very forward thinking and obviously pro LGBT+, so who knows. It would also be a huge deal that would help a lot of people, but as of now I just think it’s unlikely that they would let any member come out as non straight, and even less a couple. Their general attitude towards publicly showing support has grown, but it’s still careful and they would definitely lose a lot of fans, not the least in Korea.

Fifth, the fact is that Ji/kook is getting PR from Big Hit. Most of, if not all, things that reach us be it videos, tweets or written interviews are probably looked over by Big Hit (also remember Vmin checking their answers with each other?). Especially if they have something to hide they would probably have teams that made sure things stayed hidden. I think JK even talked about how they have staff up working while they are on vlive to check reactions etc. It’s just common sense for entertainers of any kind to have their image managed by their company at least to some extent. Also, leaks by staff is how most info on idols’ private info leaks, so a thing like this would be handled very delicately if you don’t want to get exposed. The exception here would be if no one knew about this except Ji/kook basically, but then that wouldn’t explain why Big Hit helps promoting them, also if that would be the case I imagine they would rather act even more careful.

Now of course not all staff could know about them hiding such a thing and things would slip through from time to time no matter what. But you all realize that things like GCF are right there on their official channels? That Ji/kook got asked about the trip several times, and even got moved in the Harajuku sweets interview so that we would get to see the question “What do you like about Jimin?” from JK. And why does Big Hit refuse Taehyung to sing the song with Jimin, if they are okay with promoting Ji/kook in quite obvious LGBT+ ways?

I don’t deny that Ji/kook don’t spend a huge amount of time together, or that they aren’t close, because they surely are. I also don’t think promoting a ship to hide another makes sense, so it’s definitely genuine from their side. They also do have suspicious moments and likely has hidden in each other’s rooms etc. But all I can say is that IF they are together it would seem like they don’t care about being discreet at all. Jimin has even been described by JK as “shameless” and I think the word fits with Jimin’s attitude towards JK since the beginning. Personally I don’t see much of a change in Ji/kook relationship from his side at all. And that is fine, maybe they just are that open and don’t care about being careful at all… But then that begs the question “why does Jimin act careful in regards to Taehyung?" I’m not kidding when I’m saying Jimin and Taehyung acts stiff or quiet at odd times like they try to hold back things, or that they really do seem reluctant to be alone live together.

Below you can see some asks I have gotten on these topics and honestly I kinda just want to get them all out of the way at the same time, because a lot of the things are the same. Sorry if I come off as rude, but I really don’t want to talk too much about other ships, both because it’s not really in my main interest and secondly because I think everyone should ship what they like and I am not here to talk badly about any ship.

Again, don’t feel bad for sending me these asks, and I hope you don’t feel insulted by my replies. These are sensitive topics after all and this is merely how I feel about various things.

Asks are in cursive:

sometimes i cant help but feel really weird about vmin and feel insecure ji/kook are always together on stage and off stage even in one of taes vlives he said he wanted to call jimin but hes probably with jungkook and so many other things in memories of 2018 i really love vmin but i feel so sad and can’t help but feel that they’ve grown apart and jimins replaced tae with jungkook it makes me upset to think that maybe they fought and arent together anymore :( i’m sorry for bothering u

Even if Jimin spends more time with JK than Tae we don’t see everything and we don’t know everything. But I am confident that Vmin love each other and we know they spend time together that we don’t see. I doubt Jimin would “replace” Tae with JK, and once again their love is not something we as bystanders can measure based on the amount of screen time or tweets we get to see of certain pairs.

Heelow i just wanna ask a quick question, do you watch jik analysis videos especially that one popular shipper named kook/min/world on YouTube and Tumblr her analysis are........ STRONG I've been stalking her on Tumblr and she acts like she knows things and not gonna lie some of the things she says do come true 😕 Anyways where are you we miss you soo much mommmmyyyy 😭

I have watched some, though I can’t recall exactly which ones and what they were about (watched too many random analysis videos to remember who made them). And I agree, there are some strong compelling arguments, both for ji/kook and tae/kook. But most of them are still based in sharing rooms or the GCF or “jealousy” and frankly to me that isn’t enough even if all of them are true. The step from sharing a room to being in a relationship is rather huge if you ask me. And we know idols can be careful about showing things like that even if it’s all just rumors. And again, the behavior of ji/kook just doesn’t seem to show that they are trying to be careful about anything. But that’s just me.

As for knowing things there are plenty of inside information to be found if you just dig enough. It’s difficult to know what to trust and especially shipping info is very hard to trust. There are things like sound of JK and Tae playing games and swearing out on the internet, there are alleged fake dates with women, and not the least many fans knew about the huge internal problems that BTS experienced during 2017-18. So yes, there is of course a chance that people have obtained inside information but it’s really difficult to know what to trust or not even if some things prove to be real later on.

I appreciate your opinion , coz i find it pretty logical and mature. So i have some question about ji/kook . What do you think . Why Jin asked in recent run episode to Jm and JK "Are You Guys dating ?" i also noticed that Tae at that time seemed so quite and distante .. and he didn't laugh with other memebers after that . What do you think why memebers would say such thing as "joke" and do u think it's a joke ? Also Tae's reaction intrigued me and i think didn't other members noticed that too ?

Thank you! I try, though of course it’s extremely difficult to know everything as what is logical to me might not be logical to someone else etc. Still, I’m happy to hear you say my thoughts seem logical and mature.

For me personally things like Jin asking “Are you guys dating?” is one of the biggest reasons I don’t think it’s true. It would be a huge risk and the only reason I could see anyone doing that is if they know the truth will be out soon. They’ve also said this to other members as a joke, so that’s honestly what I think it is; a joke.

Taehyung’s reaction to things like this I have noted tend to be very muted. But on the other hand he also has a neutral face that looks rather sad, meaning he could really just have no real reaction. This is a huge problem I see in analysis videos all the time, that the person analyzing doesn’t actually seem know the members enough to know them “on their own”. Like Tae having a rather “sour” looking neutral face or for example JK who has a billion nervous habits, one which is the famous “tongue” thing. Meaning you can’t automatically assume that things only has that one meaning etc.

hello I really liked everything you write about VMin, I love that relationship that I do not consider it a Shipp anymore, for me it is the purest and most real relationship that any other shipp, I wanted to ask you what do you think about the rings I mention JK in Busan? Jimin got very nervous and JK hinted that it's something between him and Jimin, why did he do that? If you say that BigHit gives you rules to not show your love or your relationship, why did you do that ?, despite that situation

Thank you so much! :) VMin truly has an amazing bond!

I have heard about the rings, though I don’t know if it was confirmed to be exactly those rings (aka wedding/engagement) but I am not sure I know what moment you are talking about with Jimin seeming nervous. I’m guessing it might be from muster, but if someone knows please let me know.

Again, I have no idea what Big Hit says or does (though we do know some things like Tae not being allowed to sing with Jimin or Docskim not being allowed to release the behind story of Lie etc) all I talk about is how I assume they would manage such a situation. But there could be many other ways I can’t even think of. Basically it’s all a guessing game, but personally I think it would be in Big Hit’s interest to not let BTS “run wild” with certain things (like the no drunk tweeting rule). Also even if Big Hit has given them rules they are still capable of breaking those rules if they choose to, though I think it would get consequences. As for the rings a lot of the members have matching jewelry or clothes, so it’s difficult to know if it means anything special.

I'm not the last anon so I don't think they're forced but in relation to change people often say it's usually late 2017—2018. Then there's its because of JK. Because apparently that's when jimin and jk noticibly started spending a lot of time together. And since jimin only has limited time to spend with others, even outside the group, that's when the questions come. For me personally I saw the change after the Malta trip.

The dates always seems to be different even from Ji/kookers, but for Vmin at least to me there seemed to be a possible change in the early 2016 when they basically stopped with their vlives and then started to look super clingy yet pushed each other away at odd times.

As for late 2017-2018 and Ji/kook I have a few things I question in regards to the actual timeline and how that would effect Vmin. First if that was when JK and Jimin actually got together doesn’t that change the whole narrative of GFC and their trip to Japan? I mean, I realize some people see it as when they “confessed” but then it seems odd they would suddenly be super open and out if their relationship was so new. The Big Hit “unicorn shoot” was also before that which means they had already started the LGBT related promotions for Ji/kook. So if Ji/kook is real I think it makes more sense that it would have been going on for longer than that. I also personally don’t think the change is completely due to ji/kook but rather a major change in Jungkook. He did not have a good year 2017 and I think Jimin being there for him was just Jimin being Jimin. I also think that when JK then started to be happier his attitude changed, he started posting on twitter after a long time, dyed his hair basically for the first time and started to be seen outside more often. Sometimes getting “dragged out” by Jimin.

But the question remains if Ji/kook got together why did it affect Vmin so much? Surely if Ji/kook has been together for a long time the other members would have known and let them spend time together of course, but why would Jimin suddenly start pushing Taehyung away just because he got a boyfriend? It doesn’t paint Ji/kook in a good light to see their relationship possibly affecting Vmin’s friendship so much. And more importantly, why would it still after years make Vmin avoid certain things and act weirdly? Jimin and Taehyung are best friends and should still be able to spend time together if they truly want to, and things they say and do indicates that they want that. So why is Vmin so much more private if there is no problem for ji/kook to be so open about spending time together?

I don’t know, personally I still think Vmin behaves more suspicious which I think would match better with both the risk with being in a homosexual relationship as well as with their respective personalities.

hi i know you are busy and probably answer very late but I've noticed that when Jik are together they always forget about Tae there are so many moments i can't mention here i am sure you know about them but it makes me sad how they just ignore tae especially jk they all were so close before so do you think there is somethin going on between jik? I mean they go on trips jm came back from Japan on Valentine's day nd they were spotted together, maybe that's why tae also doesn't go with jm 😪🤔

Hmm, interesting because I think there are plenty of moments where Vmin end up forgetting other people when in each other’s presence as well. I can think of examples with JK as well, like in Hawaii when Vmin talked about walking together at night and JK just sits there etc. I think this is one of those things that might just be shippers pointing out and over analyzing something that happens with more members than just their ship. Also Tae tends to space out, so that could be another reason. I would have to look at each moment to give a proper opinion.

I suppose if Tae perhaps really liked Jimin and got his heart broken as Ji/kook got together it could mean that Tae would like to distance himself. But there are too many other things that goes against this and I think it would be way more noticeable, not to mention probably show a huge change in physical behavior between them so it seems unlikely. I don’t see any reason for Tae to push away the person he calls his best friend just because he would be in a relationship. I also don’t see why Vmin wouldn’t just be able to continue being best friends even if one of them had a relationship someone.

I love your analyses , coz you're always puts everything so logically . Bdw what do you think of that famous jikook trip together ?? It's still intrigued me why Vmin always wants and say out loud that they want to travel together just Only two of them , and they even made a promise of that ,but then suddenly JM goes w JK (and they likes to talk about that trip a lot) , and i still can't get why Tae coudn't be there too and what stopped them to made their wishful promise ??

Taehyung was actually in Japan at the same time… Which is interesting. But he was spending time with his family. I do agree it’s weird Vmin has never acted on going somewhere together despite having claimed to want to several times, but either we just haven’t seen it or they simply prioritize other things above it. I don’t think it’s anything weird if that’s the case. I also don’t think Ji/kook going on a trip automatically makes them real, not even if Jimin was out with JK (and other friends) on Valentines day.

It’s funny because Ji/kookers stalked them to find which hotel room they stayed in and got all crazy about the bath being see-through, as if not all the members have likely seen each other naked for years. But yeah, when you only see your own ship I guess it doesn’t mean anything that others has done it before. Remember Vmin on Valentines 2014?

Sorry for sounding bitter and negative, but it’s just not that fun for me to talk about this. I am aware of the other ships and how many odd things there are to find, but I will still stand by and ship Vmin. As I’ve said before they have plenty of odd things too, which means most of the ships probably cancel each other out and aren’t real. Shipping Vmin romantically is what I love and prefer and if anyone says Vmin don’t love each other they are clearly lying. I can support Vmin as best friends just as much as lovers or soulmates. To me what matters is that the members are happy and if another ship being real means happiness for the members then that’s fine by me. I will support BTS and the members no matter what, but as of now we still don’t know anything and I am not convinced of any ship.

Sorry again, I hope I haven’t offended one. But honestly being sad because you possibly might be wrong about a ship doesn’t change the fact that all of BTS love each other no matter what.

Thanks if you managed to read this and still wants to follow me. I really appreciate you all a lot. <3

#vmin #bts shipping #btsandvmin #btsandvmin answers #btsandvmin ask #my post #controvercial #opinion not facts

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hypocrisyofandrewdobson · 5 years ago

Text

Special Request: Andrew Dobson vs @crap-hell (Part 2)

aka Dobson is a condescending sexist hypocrite

Link to Part One Here

When we last left off, Dobson had made a number of random accusations as “proof” that Quiet was problematic and Kojima was a sexist, including that there were YouTube compilations of sexy female moments of MGS:V, that Megan Fox was the best and most fleshed out character in the first Transformers movie, and that Quiet being mute “took away her agency as a character”.

@crap-hell responded back by pointing out how flawed that reasoning was, and that if he really wanted to “listen to women” as he claimed, maybe he should start by actually listening to her instead of stroking his own ego.

Now, I think it safe to say that @crap-hell has made it blatantly apparent through this entire exchange that she’s a woman(the people Dobson is supposedly speaking for), especially in that last paragraph.

Naturally, this is also the point where Dobson starts to blatantly talk down to her, insulting her intelligence multiple times and implying that she’s too stupid to Google things, and that’s why she’s not agreeing with him. Keep in mind that all his proof is just a couple random YouTube videos.

“...you’re just really bad at searching for videos.”

“Sigh...you’re really bad at analyzing things, aren’t you?”

“...you’re ignoring women...”

“...because I see you have trouble googling things yourself...”

Note how he’s suddenly much more condescending towards her, belittling her at every opportunity while at the same time claiming to use his “white privilege” to speak up for women and minorities , because people won’t listen to them. As if he’s doing all this ranting and raving to support some unnamed “women and minorities” who find Quiet so offensive and problematic but are too scared to speak up or something, so they need a “straight cis white man” like Dobson to speak for them.

Also, what exactly does “white privilege” have to do with anything in this scenario? Wouldn’t he be talking about his “male privilege” for this particular situation if he’s trying to make a point about sexism?

It’s almost as if he’s completely full of shit or something

It’s at this point, a third party comments on this entire interaction, mostly siding with Dobson but also pointing out that he’s suddenly being a real dick to @crap-hell for some reason. They even point out exactly why people would take issue with Dobson’s arguments, since he’s never actually played the games and therefore does not know the context of said scenes.

(Name has been censors by me)

And here is where Dobson’s sexism comes out in full force, and the bit I alluded to in Part One.

(The red circles are my doing.)

Note that in the entire post, whenever he is referring to @crap-hell , he goes well out of his way to only refer to her as “they”, making sure not to make it apparent that it’s a woman disagreeing with him.

Now some of you reading this post that aren’t familiar with Dobson might be thinking “well, it’s a little odd, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that he was trying to hide she was a girl”, and you’d normally be right. That isn’t concrete evidence he’s being sexist.

The fact that this isn’t the first time he’s done something like this is, however.

https://hypocrisyofandrewdobson.tumblr.com/post/170999671267/link-to-the-part-3-found-here-have-another-look

A few years back when Dobson was angrily tweeting about @plebcomics (this was before he had been banned from Twitter multiple times), he also went out of his way to ensure he didn’t refer to her as a she. He even admitted to doing so later on when lying about another incident involving blackmailing and misgendering a teenage trans male.

Note that he fully admits to not referring to @plebcomics as “she” to be malicious, but then also turns around and says “lol how is using non-gender pronouns insulting?” as if he didn’t just admit he did so filling intending to be insulting. He even called it “having fun” at her expense.

(I’ll also point out that he’s laying through his teeth regarding both incidents: @plebcomics was never ”pissed off” about not being called she, she just wanted him to show that he was in fact talking shut about a woman, since he always claims to never do and to always be speaking up for and defending them. She was not stealing his art, one of his paying Patreons were passing the artwork to her. As for blackmail and misgendering a teenage trans man, that’s an entirely different can of worms altogether. But I recommend checking out the Masterpost for more information.)

Now trying to completely invalidate @crap-hell ‘s gender simply to hide both that he was treating a woman like shit and that a woman was disagreeing with him is bad enough, but I want to draw special attention to that last thing he said in the “they” post.

Unless, of course, you’re a woman that doesn’t agree with Dobson’s viewpoints or doesn’t want him speaking for you. Then he’ll just deny that you’re female, hide your comments from the Notes of the post, and then most likely be ready to block you in case you respond and point out that you are indeed a woman.

Because that’s the way Dobson operates. For as much as he likes to claim and brag about being a male feminist and LGBT ally, he’s much more sexist and much more condescending than anything or anyone he accuses of being sexist. Because it’s really all about satiating his own bloated ego.

The full tumblr post I’ve dissected here can be found here: https://adobsonartworks.tumblr.com/post/187813253030/help-me-understand

And just in case he later decides to delete said post to hide what he said, an archive can be found here:

http://archive.li/axV3t

#andrew dobson #tom preston #adobsonartworks #hypocrisy #sexism #metal gear solid #mgsv #death stranding #hideo kojima #quiet #ego #sexist #special request #long post

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takaraphoenix · 5 years ago

Note

35,18,3,7 (on the original Charmed)

Thanks for playing! ^-^

3. rant. just do it

Okay, here goes nothing.

Americans annoy me with their high hourse TV plot writing these days. Like, yeah, just as any other sane person, I know that your guys’ government putting human beings into cages and separating children from their parents and basically Third Reiching it up in there is really terrifyingly bad - as a German, I might even get that a little bit more than some others.

But I’m... I’m really tired of them doing this “what is happening right now is Really Very Bad and we will whack you over the head with that in your fun escapism TV show”.

Because look. If I’d... If I’d want to engage with this terrifying shit going on, I’d be right now watching the news. Not Supergirl. Not Legends of Tomorrow.

I, like many others, watch TV as a means of escapism. Especially shows about idiot timetravelers and aliens who are unrecognizable when they put on glasses.

That a show like Orange is the New Black that is set and grounded in this reality and actually deals with prison conditions and has tackled these type of injustices from the get-go addresses it makes a whole lot of sense and fits the theme.

But every single show turning into “we shouldn’t treat other beings who are just like us but have slight differences and may come from a different place like they are below us!!!” is... it’s exhausting.

Not everybody watching this is American. It’s not like we can do anything to help. And, let’s be really really clear: A show that is so damn heavy on feminism and LGBT themes has long since lost any of the viewers whose hearts and minds these kind of plotlines are meant to change. No Straight White Male Republican Racist is still watching a show with half the cast being POC and LGBT and female. The only people you’re reaching are the people who absolutely know that what is happening is wrong and terrifying.

And what makes it more frustrating was that Supergirl in particular was always very out of this world; quite literally. They opted, after Trump was elected, to put a female president onto that Earth. A reasonable, wise woman who works for the rights of others. And that made this show all the more wonderful and all the more escapism from this reality because it was literally presented as a better alternate Earth to ours. That they had to get her impeached to replace her with a Straight White Male Racist so you can hammer the metaphor of aliens = immigrants in was... not necessary, not on that world.

And especially not with the exact same message running course on three different shows that share one universe - because yeah, the whole “metahumans are different than us and are being murdered” thing is the same tune, you just exchanged alien/magical creature with metahuman there.

I just... It’s too much. I get tight-chested every single time I have to face another horrible, inhumane, Hitleresque thing that Trump said or did. I don’t need you to whack me over the head with thinly veiled metaphors.

Especially since you’re not even doing it in a creative way. The bad guy is the Old White Man, while most of the aliens and magical creatures that are prominently features are played by actors of color, just in case anyone was still missing the metaphor. It’s... It’s not even clever writing.

And I don’t... I just... Honestly, I actually find it kind of offensive that writers think we need a metaphor where the immigrants are literal aliens. Like, humans do this shit to other humans. That you’re pretending that “oh no they are doing this to aliens while all humans hold together” is... even more unrealistic than the whole premise of Supergirl to begin with, to be quite frank.

It’d even be... fine. Durable. If it were one show only but to be whacked over the head with the exact same message on multiple shows running parallel is really tiresome actually.

I get it. I know what you’re saying. I agree. And so does the whole entire damn rest of the audience. Because if they didn’t get the whole point of Superman and Supergirl literally being refugees on Earth and them LITERALLY being created by Jewish men during WWII and if they weren’t racist enough to stop watching when two black men became superheroes and if they weren’t homophobic enough when one of the main characters came out as a lesbian and started very explicitely to have a relationship with another woman and if they weren’t transphobic enough to quit when you introduced a trans character to the main cast and if they weren’t misogynistic enough to just straight up quit this majorly female-led feminist show on season one, then honestly you’re barking up the wrong tree there.

7. opinion on… Charmed

THIS WAS MY FIRST BIG OBSESSION! *^*

Oh, I loved Charmed - literally all of my walls, including my ceiling, were plastered with posters of the show! I did the puppy-dog eyes at anyone who bought teen magazines back then, I got cut-out articles about it every time it was somewhere, I still have self-recorded VHS tapes with the entire show in my closet.

I even wrote my very first fanfiction for this show, back then ink on paper in a journal because we’re talking pre-Phoe-is-allowed-on-the-internet-age, I had my first next gen OC line-up for that show.

And it was, to date, the only ever where I actually also got invested in the actors. Particularly Alyssa Milano. And if I saw anything where Alyssa Milano or Julian McMahon were in, I watched it, not even caring what it was, because I loved them so much.

I mean, I’ve always loved witches, you know? But this show just hit everything for me. Back then I really related to Phoebe the most, because she was the youngest and thus most relatable for pre-teen me, she was kind of a screw-up who didn’t really know what she was doing. I always wanted big sisters like Piper and Prue.

Many of my favorite tropes were first introduced to me there. Seriously, this show is why I love a good “everybody lives together”. A team as a family, by blood and also beyond that.

Them killing off Prue killed me. I cried so hard so long back then.

And also this is like the only show ever where I got incredibly invested in the canon ships. Leo/Piper, Cole/Phoebe, Andy/Prue. All. The. Way. Obviously, canon broke my heart twice but that doesn’t mean I can’t live in eternal denial.

It’s also the first time I encountered a TV show overstaying its welcome, because that last season was absolutely unnecessary, start to finish. The season before that had the perfect finale - the sisters, getting to live a normal life, then that little wink by the door closing just like Prue’s powers used to close it, it put tears in my eyes and had me incredibly content. Then they had to add a blonde Mary-Sue to the mix and go on for another season and just nope.

And yes, you notice my focus on Prue. I love her. She still remains my second favorite after Phoebe and I will admit I never quite warmed up to Paige and would have preferred if the whole... actor fall out hadn’t happened and Prue could have continued on in the show. So, that’s my favorite part of it; back when Prue was alive and Cole was also still alive.

18. rant about your favorite musician

...At this point, I am thinking that maybe you should have asked each number in a separate ask because this thing is long.

But okay, I actually do have something to rant about there!

HOW DOES THE YOUTH TODAY NOT UNDERSTAND PUNK. URGH.

A few weeks back, my favorite musician was on TV. There was a music event, I think it was a benefit and also a peaceful protest, led by him, among others, and before it, he stepped up to the mic to say a few words and I was watching that with my grandparents and my brother and he just went “Urgh, that guy again. Why does he have to be everywhere? And why is he talking about this? It’s none of his business, he should just do music”.

Like.

No.

Campino is a punk. Die Toten Hosen is a punk rock band.

Protesting the government and what is wrong with society is literally what punk does. Punk is only secondarily a music genre. First and foremost, it is a means to be loud and vocal about politics. So to organize a peaceful protest and to speak up about the mistreatment of immigrants in our country is literally what punk should be.

The fact that there’s younger people who don’t know that is terrifying. The fact that younger people in Germany just know Campino as an old musician and not as a punk is also terrifying. Go listen to DTH and study up on punk, please.

35. what does home mean to you?

Ah, finally a short one! xD (Just kidding, I do love ranting!)

Home is where I feel at ease, where I can be myself, where I’m happy. These requirements can be fulfilled outside of my own four walls - it’s like, when I am in London, this incredible sense of home fills me too, surprisingly enough. Gods, I wanna go back to London...

Unusual Ask Game

#About Me #Random Rants #lots of ranting #Unusual Ask Game #send me asks #shadowruned

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axelsagewrites · 6 years ago

Text

Isabelle*Lightwood’s

Ship(s): Isabelle X female!reader

Request: Via Wattpad

Warnings:

Masterlist HERE

Wattpad HERE

It's pride month so this month's posts are going to be LGBT themed

Her hair gleamed like a goddess and her smile was like sunlight that flowers craved to the human eye. When she laughed it felt like you’d went weightless on a roller coaster drop ride, loving the fear it brought like the idea of loving her. No matter what she said, snarky or sweet, it was the stuff to inspire poets. She was my perfect, the thing that would finally make me feel whole.

The half of the best friend necklace that hung around her neck broke me though. The one around mine solidified it.

I'd known Isabelle since childhood, often talking about being parabatai. Every time I discouraged it, saying we could decide when we were older, and we didn’t need a rune to best friends. It was bad enough she was straight, and I’d fancied her for years but the idea of it being actually illegal was too much.

The shadowhunter community was very accepting, choosing to hide all their ‘problems’ in a plastic tub and bury beneath their flower beds. Apparently not being straight was one of these problems. How dare you like someone of the same gender! Even though it wasn’t your fault and oh yeah screw you.

I wasn’t necessarily in the closet though; I just never spoke about it. plus, in the New York Institute, there weren’t many boys my age, so it wasn’t surprising I didn’t like any of them. The only person I had told was Alec because, well that boys lets straight than a circle.

Alec and I were closet buddies and despite both of us being heavily friend zoned we could at least whine to one and other. Isabelle figured out Alec was gay, which wasn’t too difficult since boys can’t hide their, um feelings? Too well. She hadn’t figured me out because apparently kissing girls in the club is something drunk girls just kinda did?

Although it wasn’t what I wanted I was sort of content. Isabelle had boyfriends and hookups but so would Jace, so Alec and I were able to rant about this whenever they were out. Then Clary came.

I don’t dislike the girl, but she is inconvenient for many reasons. It’s made Alec all grumpy since Jace is in love and Alec can literally feel it because of their bond. Isabelle also likes to go on about that Simon kid and he’s always around because clary’s always around. It’s a hellish cycle.

However, the biggest issue is Clary and Isabelle’s friendship. For the past 5 years, Isabelle and I were the only girls our age who lived in this institute for more than a month. This meant Isabelle only knew what it would be like to be friends with a girl who was in love with her.

We didn’t do the normal things girls would; talk a lot about boys, change in front of each other, check each other out before leaving to make sure we looked okay. I was in love with the girl, there was no way I was checking out her butt to make sure she hadn’t sat in something. Hell no. but this was never an issue because she had no comparison.

We’d talk about fighting techniques, books, famous shadowhunters, and how annoying Alec and Jace were and how we’d get them back. For fun, we’d throw darts, do trick shots, spar, or made up silly games.

Clary came and was letting Isabelle do her hair, makeup, outfit, and would talk hot boys and relationships with each other. Clary wasn’t that girly, but it still messed it all up. Know we were talking about first crushes and kisses and I had no answer.

Coming out felt like less of an option. I barely knew Clary, so I didn’t want to tell her and now Isabelle was wanting to have the ‘girl sleepovers’ mundane kids had in the movies Clary showed her. I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable.

Alec wasn’t having much fun either. Clary and Jace were a thing and Clary was beginning to catch on. Typically, Alec would train with Jace, but Clary kept pulling him in every other direction so when Alec came up to me and asked to spar I wasn’t surprised. Isabelle kept wanting to have Clary at all our training sessions so we could teach her and how could I argue with that?

As I held the punching bag Alec hit it with all the pit up anger he had, the chain holding it up clanging loudly with each hit. “A new girl shows up and you drop everything?” he ranted while punching. “Do you wanna know what he said when I complained he missed training today?” he stopped, panting. We switched positions and I nodded. “Get a girlfriend,” Alec held the bag for me.

I screwed my face up and not because of the stale smell of sweat off this training room. “That’s just idiotic,” I said as I hit the bag.

“Yeah well that’s the straights for you,” Alec rolled his eyes, “Crush aside, friend don’t ditch friends,”

“Tell me about it,” I muttered as my punches sped up.

Alec sighed “Isabelle?”

“Isabelle,” I confirmed, putting my back into the punches, “Her and Clary are always together. Doing girly things. It's bad enough but I don’t want to talk boys with them. It was fine before,” with every word the punches got faster.

“Slow down,” Alec said, and I did. He held the bag still, the metal chains finally quieting, “You’re gonna put a hole in it.”

“I know,” I sighed, taking the gloves off and throwing them down. “But I’m getting sick of this.

Everyone keeps asking if I’m seeing a guy or when will Mr right come along. My parents are actually concerned,”

“Ditto,” Alec groaned, “It’s so annoying. Its always brought up as if I’m just a piece of meat!” he said.

My eyebrow quirked up as I saw the irony “Alec, welcome to being a female.” Alec rolled his eyes and I punched his shoulder “I am not kidding. Whenever we go out guys are leering at me and Izzy on missions. We are used as bait Alec. Bait” it was true. Apparently dressing nice, as they called it, attracted demons but they forgot about all the sleazes.

“Sorry,” Alec said, dropping down onto a bench. I copied and took the water he handed me.

“I’ve got an idea…”

“So…you two are dating now?” Isabelle asked arms crossed staring at us with the look of ‘don’t you lie to me’.

Jace by Isabelle’s side seemed doubtful too, “Like dating dating?”

Alec and I looked at each other. “Yup,” Alec said before quickly wrapping his arm around my waist, pulling me into his side. “Right babe?”

The words felt like spitting glass, “Of course…babe,” okay I officially wanted to die.

Isabelle and Jace shared a look but Jace shrugged, “Well at least you finally took my advice. Sorry (Y/N) but I need to steal Alec, we’ve got a mission,”

Alec almost jumped at the chance to go on a mission with him. Then it was just me and Izzy. “You’ve never mentioned liking him before,” Isabelle said, clearly not buying it.

I scoff, trying not to stutter, “He’s your brother. That’s just weird Izzy,”

“In fact,” she continued “You’ve never talked about guys. Ever. Whenever Clary brings it up-“

“Clary’s a brat, Izzy,” I cut her off. Isabelle’s mouth gaped for a moment before closing.

“Seriously she shows up and thinks she knows everything. She gets everything on a silver plate, and everyone babies her,”

“She’s new!” Isabelle has an incredulous look on her face “She’s trying to navigate a new world. Give her a break!” I couldn’t hold back an eye roll. “What has she actually done to you?”

“What has she done to you?” I snap. “Before we’d talk about normal things but knows it’s all boy this and boy that. And she’s far to comfortable around here. You don’t ask people to check you out before you go out. It’s weird,” I cross my arms. “Plus, she always brings that Simon kid around.

Isabelle’s face is distorted into one I’ve never seen aimed at me; anger. “Really? Maybe I like talking about boys and I like knowing I look alright before I go out. Oh, and I’ll have you know I like Simon. He’s one of the nicest guys I’ve ever spoken to,”

“I’m nice!” I almost yell, “You don’t talk to me anymore and I’m just as nice as Simon is. Oh, and I’m your best friend not that you seem to care,”

“Well you don’t seem so nice right now,” Isabelle says, crossing her arms, “In fact, you just seem jealous. I’m allowed to have other friends. If it bothered you that much you should’ve talked to me,”

“You’re always with Clary,” Mumbled, feeling defeated already.

“Woah you really are jealous. Is that why you’re with Alec now?” she asked. “You and I both know he’s gay. If I’m honest I was starting to think so were you,”

There was no good way this conversation could go. The floor seemed to sway from under my feet and the lights seemed brighter than before. My heartbeat was loud like the chains from the punching bag. Clang clang clang.

If it wasn’t for the air whipping my face I wouldn’t have realised I was running, and it wasn’t till I stopped I felt the wetness on my cheeks. I opened the door to my room and quickly slammed it, ruining it to be locked.

All I could do was pace till my feet were sore and I feared holes would burn in the carpet. I sank onto the floor, leaning against my bed. normally when I ran away from my feelings it wasn’t physically,

When Isabelle knocked I didn’t get up. Her angelic voice couldn’t move me this time and was drowned out by fear. My parents, Isabelle, my higher-ups, they could all find out. Shadowhunters were still very backwards.

We’d had the pleasure of meeting a warlock when Clary first came called Magnus who was obviously gay or bi or something and openly proud. With no shadowhunters to teach me, it had been him I’d gone to about it. he was surprised, to say the least, that I'd gone to him though apparently, his gaydar had been right.

Id texts him in a panic for his advice. Isabelle’s pounding on my door had stopped when I got the text back; tell her, the closet isn’t comfortable forever.

I read the text over and over again. I didn’t have to tell Isabelle I liked her, though she’d

probably guessed that. She must know now. she had to know, and I should be telling her.

My bones felt stiff as I stood but I persevered. I sighed, running my hands over my face. I looked up from my hands and my eyes fell on a photo frame on my bedside; Isabelle and I on my last birthday. She insisted on making my cake though even I couldn’t fake eat it. this could make or break that.

I opened the door without hesitation, figuring I'd at least have a breather before I saw her. But there she was, sat on the floor across from my door. When my door opens she sprang up, “(Y/N),” I couldn’t hold it back. I looked down and couldn’t help a couple tears, “Talk to me,” Isabelle put her hands on my shoulders and shivers went down my spine.

For once I didn’t want to see Isabelle’s face, but I looked up, “I-I.” I had to take a deep breath “I love you,”

Isabelle smiled a little “I love you too. You know I do,” without giving me a chance she hugged me.

“Not in the same way,” I mumbled but I knew she heard.

She pulled back and looked me in the eyes. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t love you. I’m in love with you,” it was out there. There were no take backs.

Isabelle glanced down and I just felt my heart clench, “I-I-I know I’m not gay,” she started off, stuttering slightly, “but I have been with girls,” for this first time Isabelle blushed, “I just never really clicked with any but then again I never clicked with a guy either. But if I'd ever clicked with anyone, it’d be you,”

“You like me?” my words were slow and unsure.

“I think so?” hers were more like a question. “I’ve never really understood the romance part but when I’m with you, I feel safe. And I’d be lying if I said you weren’t hot,”

Okay, this time I blushed. A lot, “So…do you wanna try?”

She nodded “I do. Guess your switching lightwoods,” Isabelle joked, laughing at her own joke like usual.

I grinned a little, “Well you are much prettier than Alec.”

Isabelle grinned, “So maybe we should try well,” she motioned to my lips.

I nodded and we moved closer, bumping noses and tilting the wrong way. We laughed awkwardly but soon our lips met. it was slow, hesitant, and we were barely touching. Years of pent up feelings led me to stepping closer, making it harder, passionate. Soon it was fast and hard, and her hands were in my hair.

Somehow I forgot to breathe, so we pulled apart as breathless as I get when Isabelle walks in the room. “So,” I said.

“So,” Isabelle copied. She looked up and down the corridor before saying, “Maybe we should try you know that again but,” she pointed past me, into my room, “in there?”

A grin overtook my face which soon etched onto Isabelle as well. My arms wrapped around her, leading her back into my room. The door shut tightly behind us and everything felt right.

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