#and he said yes he did. both the youngest have a real issue with lying on the older kids.

[thebeautyoffanfics]

kou minamoto x gn!reader

a/n: write a fic with a comfort character, who is also the youngest minamoto brother, to help yourself through a hard time. call that kou-ping (coping)

(not even gonna lie, mainly posting this for the pun. Humor and art are the real coping mechanisms here. The ending is rushed buttttt who caressssssss)

warnings: depressing thoughts, parental issues (arguing)

word count: 1,544

Your life was… falling apart.

You sighed, bookbag being tossed over your shoulder, the school day finally coming to an end. But, your day would continue- you had to clean the toilets, feeling obligated to join your friends as you always did. Yet… with everything happening, you, honestly, didn’t have the energy. Socializing felt exhausting, and rather unappealing. All you wanted to do was sleep, despite the fact that going home was also unappealing…

Arguing filled your house at any given point. Parents fighting over petty things, then finding it okay to get you involved in their poor tempers. Unrealistic expectations piled on top of you- expecting high 90s in every class because you were capable of it. Expecting you to be happy, because you were capable of seeming like you were. Yes, you were entirely capable of faking your happiness… of pushing your emotions aside until you were comfortable in the confines of your room.

So, you’d just do that. “Just a little longer,” You whispered to yourself, hoping that the encouragement, though from yourself, would keep your emotions in check for the next little bit. Maybe, being with your friends would help- you surely hoped so, as you pushed open the door to the girls’ bathroom.

“(Y/N)’s here~,” Hanako cheered, waving at you as you entered the bathroom. You inhaled, preparing yourself for The World’s Greatest Acting, as you waved back, offering a grin to your undead friend. Death seemed to plague your personal life… seeing your ghost friend floating around made your heart ache a bit. Would it be better if your other family members, pets included, could… maybe visit a bit? If they were ghosts, would their deaths hurt as badly? Surely, they would, you concluded, as Yashiro said something to you.

“Hm?” You questioning, urging her to repeat herself, to which she complied.

“Are you alright? You look kind of spacey.”

“Yeah, I’m fine! No worries, but thank you for asking.”

She nodded, going back to sweeping, as Kou glanced at you, concern evident in his eyes. You smiled at him, making sure that the smile reached your eyes in an attempt to alleviate any concern. Honestly, you wanted your problems to remain your own. Kou didn’t need to bother himself with your issues- he probably had enough on his mind.

Not bothering with further conversation, but letting the other 3 talk as they pleased, you grabbed the washcloth and began to wipe down the sinks and mirrors, as you did nearly every day.

Once the bathroom was clean, you looked around, considering what to do next. Tiredness made your body feel heavy, eyelids barely being held open once you allowed yourself to relax a bit. Though you didn’t see it, Kou looked at you once more- as he had been doing throughout the entire day- this time taking note of how tired you seemed. Your facade was slipping, mouth drooping into a small frown, as you stared at the ground. After deciding you were as prepared as you could possibly get to head home, you looked up, widening your eyes and putting a smile back on your face.

“Sorry to interrupt, but I think I’m going to head home now. You guys be safe,” You spoke, picking up your bag and waving at your friends. They waved back, wishing you a good night, and telling you to be safe on your way home, but you didn’t pay as much attention as you normally did. Nodding, smiling, then stepping out of the bathroom, making your way down the halls.

“Kid, if you only made your staring a bit more obvious, they may have said something,” Hanako spoke up, a few moments after you left. He was well aware that Kou was simply worried- honestly, he understood why.

“Shut it- I’m just… they seem kind of upset.”

“Yeah? Then go talk to them.”

Kou pondered for a moment, before Hanako spoke once more, telling Kou that you were only getting further away.

“Right. Then, I’ll see you later, Hanako, Senpai! Have a good night,” He spoke, grabbing his back, then running down the halls- catching you at the front of the school, just after the doors were closing behind you.

“(Y/N), hang on!”

You paused, hiding your sigh, as you turned and smiled at your boyfriend. You didn’t have to pretend around him… you knew it, but you still couldn’t bring yourself to let him worry.

“Hey, Kou. Did you want to walk with me for a bit?” You asked, knowing the two of you lived in a similar direction. Out of everyone you knew, he was the most genuinely enjoyable to be with… Kou always seemed to distract you from your crumbling life. A confidant of sorts- your rock, when no one else was willing to be it. The thought made your smile falter, but you fixed yourself, as he walked next to you.

“Sure… did you feel like stopping anywhere?”

Was it that he could read your mind? You shrugged, pondering where exactly you wanted to go. You only had a few dollars on you… your parents probably wouldn’t be happy if you bought a snack, but…

“Do you wanna… grab a little snack from a convenient store, and maybe sit at the park for a little bit? I’m tired, but, to be honest, I don’t feel like going home just yet.”

“Yeah, that’s fine! It does feel nice out.”

Nodding, you continued to walk, Kou following in-step with you, and grabbing your hand gently. You were sure he was going to say something when the time came, but you appreciated his patience. Kou knew you weren’t feeling yourself… he could tell that just walking would be good for now. A break from all the noise provided from school

Once the two of you arrived at the park near your houses, you took a seat on a swing, Kou sitting next to you. Silently, you opened the small snack Kou bought you- the boy doing the same with his snack, both of you taking a bite at the same time.

“Do you want some?” Kou spoke up after a moment, holding his snack in your direction. Shrugging, you leaned forward, taking a bite from it, then holding yours towards him. He did the same as you, leaning forward, then nodding in approvement.

“You didn’t eat much at lunch, so I’m happy to see you getting something in your stomach… are you feeling alright?”

His concern was honestly endearing. You paused for a moment, staring down at the food in your hand. He knew you weren’t feeling alright. He would have worded it differently if he didn’t- his tone would have been different. Was there much use in lying to him? Would he see past it?

Tears streamed down your face before you could realize it, and you sniffled, leaning down a bit, letting your hair fall against the sides of your face- maybe it would hide your pitiful expression from him.

In a split-second, Kou was off of the swing and leaning in front of you, his eyebrows furrowed in concern. Carefully, as if you were something more precious and more fragile than glass, he cupped your face in his hands. His thumbs swiped over your tears, wiping them away as he looked over your face. You shut your eyes tightly, attempting to stray away from his gaze- it was to no avail. Kou wasn’t going to let you bottle things up, nor hide from him.

“You can talk to me, (Y/N)... you can cry… you can take your time. No matter what, I’m right here. I’m right here, just for you.”

As if it were instinct, you wrapped your arms around Kou, so suddenly and tightly that you stumbled off of the swing. Landing in front of him, still sobbing, your face buried in his shoulder- he wrapped his arms around you as well, nearly pulling you into his lap as he kissed the side of your head gently. His hold was firm, protective, yet full of nothing but love. You loved him for that… how his words were so genuine. How he was so bright- how he could express any emotion he needed just by hugging you. Maybe it was that he could be read easily… maybe you appreciated it, since you spent so long attempting to be unreadable. Not even unreadable- but able to be read as any emotion you wanted to show. Kou was so genuine. He was so kind.

Kou sat there, holding you for as long as you needed him to. He kissed you kindly when you vented, his eyes holding no sign of judgement. He encouraged you, showing you so much kindness and pure love, that- when you stepped through your front door, your mom asking you, rather curtly, what took you so long- you were able to give her a steady response. His words stuck with you through the night, his texts and phone call offering you more encouragement than you were sure you deserved. Keeping you safe from the fighting, even if just for one night… for the first time in forever, Kou muttering quietly on the other end of the line, you slept soundly.

[seriouslyhooked]

Feels Like This (Part 11)

Emma Swan is a once lost girl who is now making good. She has made a way in the world for her and her young son, Henry, and after years of hard work, Emma is in her last stretch of schooling for the career she’s always wanted. Unexpectedly, she finds herself in a tiny nation no one’s ever heard of for her last year of study. She knows nothing about the place except that it’s beautiful, has a world-renowned child life program, and is filled with possibility. Meanwhile, Prince Killian is hardly happy with the title he received at birth. As the second in line for the crown, Killian has long tried shaking his royal duties. He built a career in the royal navy, and has stayed out of the limelight, but his ship has been called to port indefinitely at the request of his brother, the King. Fate (in her many forms) brings Emma and Killian together and the resulting fic is a cute, fluffy, trope filled romp featuring heart felt moments, a healthy dose of insta-love and an assured happily ever after. Story rated M and will have 12 parts. Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10. Available on FF Here and AO3 Here.

A/N: Hey all! I am so excited to share this chapter for a number of reasons, one of them being that we get a new POV that is not Emma or Killian. That’s right, today I am including Elsa as one of our storytellers too. But don’t worry, as much as we’ll be learning about Elsa and Anna’s past and Elsa and Liam’s attraction to each other, there will still be some CS cuteness. Because it is me, there is also a LOT of fluff and feels abounding. It’s hard to say much more without spoiling, so, without further ado, I hope you’ll enjoy this chapter and thank you so much for the support and good vibes!

Wandering through the woods at the far reach of the Institute, Elsa did her best to stave off the worry that had clung to her heart all night. She hardly slept, tossing and turning, gripped with agitation, and all because today, at long last, the truth would come out.

It wasn’t that she enjoyed lying all this time, or that Elsa was desirous to keep her story hidden any longer. This was simply reflex. For years she and her sister had guarded their real origins from nearly everyone they met. Only a select few people in the world knew anything of Elsa and Anna’s past, and those secret keepers had not been chosen by her or her sister. They were thrust into this situation as children, but today they would take a leap of faith and share the truth with a new, but genuine friend.

Emma is deserving of our trust, Elsa reasoned to herself, continuing an argument she’d had internally for weeks. She and Anna had both agreed Emma was someone they could confide in and they believed in her goodness and her ability to keep a secret. They had both yearned for the chance to share this truth with someone – anyone - and now they had it. But it had gotten so much more complicated at the same time, and all thanks to the royal visit that happened yesterday.

When she and Anna moved to Montenarro and began working at the Institute, they both knew the slight risk that existed of their being found out. Public curiosity had long ago waned about their family, enough so that they felt capable of using their real first names in applying for the job, but members of the aristocracy were different. They memorized lineages, and studied other families of note, across country lines. The royal family of Montennaro may not come to the Center often, but they did sponsor and fund this charity. As such, there may come a time when they encountered the royals. This was, theoretically, not a huge issue, at least not in Anna’s eyes. After all, Anna had never actually met any member of the royal family, and so had no chance of being recognized. She assumed that Elsa was in the same boat, and that would make sense, for the sisters had done nearly everything together their whole lives.

Selfishly, Elsa allowed her sister’s assumption of their past run ins with the royals to stand, even though it was not accurate. She omitted the truth, about a moment in time that felt light years away and yet so cherished even now, because she wanted to stay here in Montennaro. It was her and Anna’s dream to do good works, to make use of all their many years of study back in France, and to leave the world a little brighter than how they had found it. After everything they had been through, Elsa so dearly wished to give back to children in need alongside her sister. There were no other opportunities like this one, no Centers that provided as much for their pupils, and no other place that felt like a home, not since the passing of their Grandmere. So Elsa had bit her tongue, and enjoyed the years of obscurity they found here with the children, always praying that her secret from her sister would never come to light.

Things obviously changed when Killian arrived, and when it was announced that the youngest son of the royal line would be here, working alongside them, almost every day. The panic Elsa carried with her was profound, but after hesitation in the beginning, Elsa realized there was nothing to fear from the Prince. Prince Killian had no connection to her, and he was instantly consumed by his attraction to Emma. There was no fear of him discovering who she and Anna were, not when he was distracted and totally besotted by her friend.

Only when she and Anna spoke with Killian after the parade did Elsa begin to worry again, not because she thought her friend would lose out on the clearly true love she’d found with Killian, but because it was clear as day that Emma and the prince would one day be married. That was a wonderful thing, but it would make a friendship between Elsa and Anna and Emma so much harder. Guarding this secret would become even more difficult if they regularly saw people who held so many breadcrumbs from the past. Elsa had grown more and more worried about it, but it was ultimately Anna who made the decision.

“There’s only one thing to do,” Anna said the night of Killian and Emma’s reconciliation. “We have to tell Emma the truth. I think the danger for us has long since passed, but even so, it’s best to tell her what we’ve been through. Just in case. That way, when they marry, as we both know they will, we can sidestep the whole awkward RSVP thing. It’ll be a shame to miss it, but it can’t be risked. Not if we want to keep hiding.”

Elsa was simultaneously relieved at Anna’s idea, and guilty at the fact that she still wasn’t being totally honest. In truth, it was eating her up inside, and she just didn’t know how much more of this she could take.

Not much longer now. You’ll tell them both everything today. As soon as Emma gets here.

At that moment, Elsa came to the part of a wooded clearing where green grass met the bank of a bubbling stream. The clear spring water flowed across rocks and moss, gurgling along in a measured, soothing melody. It was nothing like the mighty river they’d grown up on, which was loud and thunderous and strong, but still, a lullaby from her childhood filtered through Elsa’s mind, and a memory of their mother singing to her and Anna transported her back to the life they used to have…

“Sing it again, Mama, please?” Anna pleaded, snuggling into bed and holding Elsa close as she did. The two of them had their own beds, and their own rooms, but every night Anna made her way here, insisting that she and Elsa needed to be together. Elsa never tried to fight it. She loved Anna, and she always slept better with her sister beside her.

“Anna, darling, it’s late. Far too late for my two little princesses to still be awake. How will you ever rise with the sun if you never go to sleep?”

Their mother’s green eyes shone with mischief, but also so much love. She was pretending to deny them, but she could never say no to Anna. It was only a matter of time before she repeated the lullaby again, and Elsa couldn’t wait. She loved her mother’s voice. It was like warm honey in her father’s favorite tea. A splash of simple sweetness that made all the difference in the world.

“I promise to go right to bed. Look, I’ll even close my eyes,” Anna said eagerly, shutting her eyes so tight her face scrunched with the effort. Elsa shook with silent laughter and watched her mother do the same. Then their mother sighed and yielded to the request.

“Oh, all right. Now let’s see here. How does it start again…?”

Anna’s eyes popped open as she fed her the line. “Where the north wind meets the sea!” she exclaimed, and their mother shook her head even as she smiled.

“Ah, ah, ah. Eyes closed remember?”

Anna nodded and closed her eyes again before whispering. “You help her, Elsa. You and Mama sing. I love it when you sing.”

“Ok, Anna,” she agreed, taking her sisters hand and squeezing it gently. Then she and her mother looked at each other and started the song together.

“Where the north wind meets the sea There’s a river full of memory Sleep, my darling, safe and sound For in this river all is found

In her waters, deep and true Lay the answers and a path for you Dive down deep into her sound But not too far or you’ll be drowned

Yes, she will sing to those who’ll hear And in her song, all magic flows But can you brave what you most fear? Can you face what the river knows?

Where the north wind meets the sea There’s a mother full of memory Come, my darling, homeward bound When all is lost, then all is found”

In the short time they sang the song, Elsa felt Anna’s hold on her soften, but she wasn’t quite asleep yet. Elsa held a finger up to her mother, a signal that they should sing it through once more, and by the time that was done, Anna’s breathing had evened out and she was already dreaming. She was nearly impossible to wake once sleeping, so Elsa felt free to speak to her mother in a quiet tone.

“Anna still thinks if we search hard enough by the riverside, we’ll find the magic in the song.”

“But you don’t?” Her mother asked and Elsa shook her head.

“No. I think magic like that is just in stories.”

“Perhaps, but I like to think our magic – real magic – is just a little bit different.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well you’re right, the lullaby goes hand in hand with our old folk stories, the legends of Arendelle shared for hundreds of years. In those stories people had abilities that no ordinary human should have.”

“Like superheroes,” Elsa offered, and her mother smiled.

“Exactly. But just because we can’t wield water or ice or flames doesn’t mean we can’t make a difference. And you know how you make the biggest difference?” Elsa shook her head. “With love and with kindness. The way you love your sister, the way you love your father and I, the way you love everyone here in the manor, that is your greatest gift, my dear. And someday you will change the lives of so many people all by showing them great love and compassion.”

“You really think that’s magical?” Elsa asked, letting the idea wash over her. She always tried her best to do right and to be good to other people. That was what her parents had taught her. She liked the idea that by being good she was using a superpower, and the more she thought about it, the more it made sense. Everyone did seem so much happier when she was kind and patient, and at the end of the day, that was the greatest gift – to be happy.

“Oh yes. It’s an old magic, one that is so much more powerful than people give it credit for. But once you know of it, it’s your job to keep it strong. You must never give up hope, and you must always follow your heart and do the next right thing.”

“The next right thing,” Elsa agreed, not thinking too much of it as sleep was beginning to creep near. The hour was late, and she was tired too, but she wanted to stay awake and enjoy this time with her mother. She and Anna often had to share their time with their parents, and it always made Elsa feel special to be with her one on one. As if she could read Elsa’s mind, her mother pressed a kiss to her forehead and made a promise.

“We’ll talk more tomorrow, my darling. Now, get some sleep.”

Elsa had no idea that that night with her mother would be the last, and that everything she took for granted as the pillars of her world would be stolen in an instant. They’d gone from peace and contentment to total upheaval in the blink of an eye, and she and Anna were whisked away immediately, saved by little more than luck and the will of fate herself. The pain of that day would be etched in her soul forever, and so would the grief of losing the only home she’d ever known. But now, after decades of wishing things were different, Elsa could look back and be grateful, not for the troubles that had come, but for the sacred moments they did have with their parents before they were gone. It was hard to look back, but it was also a blessing. To have been so deeply loved that death could not sever the tie, that was something that had kept Elsa strong, and what she would cling to today especially.

Unwillingly, Elsa’s mind wandered at just the thought of love, to a man who bewildered her and drew her in all at once. He was always meant to be a beautiful memory, a boy she knew one summer’s day who showed her kindness and kissed her senseless. She could never confess how much she’d thought of him that summer. It was a girlhood infatuation that rivaled any other. Truth be told, he never was fully forgotten. He was always there in the back of her mind, until they’d moved here and she’d seen a random tabloid in the corner store. On the cover was a picture of a beautiful man – the King of Montenarro – and staring back at her were the same blue eyes from her girlhood dreams, if a little colder than she remembered.

That night she’d poured over the gossip rag and scoured the internet, waiting only until Anna went to bed before falling into a sinkhole of information. She read all about what he’d done since they had met, and how he’d stepped up to rule in a country that needed more than a little bit of hope. He was fair and wise and just, and passionate about making this country prosperous for all. Most recently he’d been working on his initiative to give all people in the country more say in government, and she thought that was admirable and knew how hard a task it must be. For years she’d watched and read the headlines, tracking his progress, while trying to avoid the speculation on things like his future and his love life. There was always talk about who the King would one day marry, and though Elsa knew she would be nothing but a forgotten blip in his past, it still hurt her to think of the boy who’d touched her heart belonging to another.

“Touched my heart,” she said aloud, scoffing with the foolishness of the thought. “As if I haven’t been secretly giving it to him for years. God, what a mess this all is.”

At confessing her feelings, which had mostly developed from afar, Elsa’s hands began to shake. Even if she’d thought of him often, it never in a million years occurred to her that they would ever reunite. But yesterday they had, and it was even more intense than she remembered. All day she felt his eyes on her, watching her every move. At all stages of the visit she could feel his presence, and it spun her whole world upside down. Never mind seeing him with the children, and watching him come out of his shell to offer them genuine affection. That had truly done her in, and almost made her forget herself. A few times they’d managed to speak, but Elsa always found an opportunity to run or to distract. She longed for that closeness, but was scared to death of letting someone – especially him – behind her many walls.

By the time she made her way back to her and Anna’s home, it was nearly time for Emma’s arrival and Elsa was nowhere closer to composure. She tried to breathe deeply, using some mindfulness to clear her thoughts, but her pulse was racing and her hands still shook. No matter – it was too late to run now. She had to face this head on. There was simply no other way.

A minute later she opened up the door, and within seconds, Anna was on her, enveloping her in a huge bear hug and prompting an emotional reaction in Elsa. Her sister was scared too, but Elsa could tell that underneath it all Anna was excited. She didn’t even need to see her face to know that there was relief in sharing their story. Anna had never liked living a lie, and the burden of it weighed on her always. Knowing that, Elsa hugged her back and whispered words of encouragement.

“It’s going to be all right, Anna. Remember what Mama used to say.”

“All you can do is the next right thing,” Anna replied shakily before nodding. “This is the right thing.”

Elsa had just enough time to agree before a knock sounded at the front door. “Are you ready?” Elsa asked and Anna nodded.

“I’m ready.”

“Okay, then let’s do this.”

………….

Sitting in the kitchen of Elsa and Anna’s small but charming house, Emma could practically taste the anxiety in the air. Whatever was going on with her friends was electric, and the room crackled with unsaid words Emma was increasingly eager to hear. Despite that, she could tell her friends needed a bit of an ice breaker, and she used one of her surest tactics to provide one.

“I’m sorry I’m a little later than we planned. Henry was on another level this morning. I love him more than anything, but he’s just so…”

“Helpful?” Anna offered.

“Curious?” Elsa countered.

“I was going more for something like ‘verbose.’ I swear he’s always got a dozen stories he can tell and today was no different. Actually, it was worse, because Killian was there last night, and you know how he gets with Killian.”

“He loves him,” Elsa said automatically, prompting Emma to smile warmly.

“He told Killian last night. It was so easy for him. He didn’t think twice, he just said exactly how he feels.”

“Oh, Emma,” Anna said, happily taking her hand after putting a tray of pastries on the counter. “That’s wonderful. What did Killian say?”

“That he loves him too.”

“I knew I liked that man for a reason,” Anna replied glibly. “Though, to be fair, it’s impossible not to love Henry. He’s the cutest, even if he hates me saying it.”

“Killian said something else too,” Emma said, waiting for Elsa to sit down with their tea. She watched her friends slightly shaky hands pour each of them a cup before spilling the beans. “He told me he sees a future, for us, the three of us. He said… well he said he loves me, and that no matter what he wants to be with me. Forever.”

The sounds of secondhand joy that came from both her friends made Emma even happier, though it also prompted a blush she’d been trying pretty hard to fend off.

“And what did you say?!”

“That I love him too.”

“Forever?”

“Definitely.”

“Oh my God, this is exactly what I needed today,” Anna said happily. “You don’t even know.” Belatedly it seemed to dawn on her – that was actually why Emma was here in the first place.

“I really don’t want to push, but it sounded yesterday like the two of you had something you really want to tell me. I promise whatever is said here, it’s between us. I’m still kind of new to the whole having good friends thing, but I can keep a secret.”

There was only a moment of silence between them before Elsa replied. She centered herself with a deep breath in to start and then let it out and looked directly at Emma. “You have to understand that all of her hesitation has nothing to do with you. We trust you. We do. It’s just been years of training ourselves to hide this part of our past, and keep the story in check so no one ever questions it.”

“Years?” Anna barked out hollowly. “More like our whole lives. Honestly, I barely remember a time without the secrets. It’s like they’ve always been here.”

“You’re right,” Elsa acknowledged, squeezing Anna’s hand gently. “This has been our burden to carry for as long as we can remember, and though time has passed, and we believe the physical threat is long behind us, old habits die hard.”

“Actually, in our case they don’t really seem to die at all,” Anna quipped. “You’re the first person we’ve ever told, and we can’t even seem to do that right. God, this is so hard. Why is this so hard?”

“Probably because there’s no easy way to say this,” Elsa admitted. Emma reached out for her hand in a show of comfort and Elsa looked up at her immediately. Emma wanted to assure her she was here to help, never to judge, and if they needed more time to make peace with their decision to share, that was fine too.

“Just tell me what you can. Start wherever you need to.”

Over the next hour, Emma patiently listened as they unfurled a truth that had been wrapped up tight for twenty years. They told her about their parents, two young Europeans who had met on foreign holiday. They were neither of them in their country of birth, and both eager to avoid the shackles of their real worlds, at least for a little while. Together they’d succeeded in doing this, and they had spent a week falling hopelessly in love with each other. From the way Elsa and Anna described it, Iduna and Agnar (yes, those were apparently their real names) had woven their strings together so tightly, the braid could not be broken.

The ‘problem’ stemmed from their father, for though he loved their mother endlessly, he had obligations – royal obligations. It turned out that Agnar was a Prince, of a nearby European principality that Emma had actually heard of. Arendelle was a small place, but it had undergone a revolution when she was a child, and even in the States there was endless conversation about it for a while. At first Emma was shocked, how was it possible that their Dad was a prince? But it took only a few moments for the surprise to dissipate. It explained why Elsa and Anna had always been so jumpy and yet very knowledgeable at multiple instances. It also explained why they were so hell-bent on keeping a secret, since the things Emma had heard about this country had hardly been positive.

According to Elsa and Anna, at the same time that Prince Agnar miraculously found love with their mother, his father, Runeard, had grown ill and passed away, leaving him as the heir apparent of the kingdom of Arendelle. Their father was eager for that role, and had been preparing for it all his life, until he was confronted with a truth that destroyed every plan he’d ever had. He could not remain the ruler of his country and pursue a life with the woman that he loved. He was bound as King to marry someone from a royal bloodline, and so he’d made a choice, to relinquish his crown and to hand it over to his younger brother. Their Uncle was a good man, and so they believed he would be a good King, but after a peaceful transition of power, and ten years of quiet where Elsa and Anna’s parents married, had children, and made a quiet country life for them all, something happened. Their Uncle had begun trusting the wrong people, and a coup had taken place. The palace was overrun, the royal family was imprisoned, and the country was thrust into darkness.

In the thick of that fighting, Elsa and Anna’s parents had also been targeted. They knew it was coming, as no coup could allow for anyone of the royal bloodline to live, but they didn’t have the time to all get out safely. Instead, their parents stayed behind as Elsa and Anna were taken with their father’s one-time nanny. She had lived with them all their lives, caring for them as if she were their own relation, and she brought them to France, through untraceable means, to the only other living relative they had left. Technically the older woman who became their lifeline was their father’s Aunt, but to them, she was forever Grandmere.

“It was a few weeks with Grandmere before we had confirmation that mother and father were gone,” Elsa said, sadness, even all these years, later taking hold of her quivering voice. Emma ached for her friend, and she couldn’t comprehend that kind of loss. She had never had parents at all, and that had been so painful in so many ways, but in some respects this was an even worse fate. “They were strong, and they protected us until the very end, but some battles simply can’t be won. Some heartbreaks cannot be avoided.”

“I’m so sorry, for both of you,” Emma said softly. “I cannot imagine the pain at knowing your parents and their goodness and then losing it like that.”

“It was difficult,” Anna agreed, “Especially being in a new country and having to hide who we were and basically stay at Grandmere’s estate all the time. But even when they passed, our parents were never truly gone. They’ve always been with us. Their love lives on in us, right Elsa?”

“Right,” Elsa agreed, offering a smile to her sister. “We stayed in France with Grandmere for years, and even though we were hurting, it was still a happy time. Grandmere adored us and spoiled us like any grandmother should. She gave us all the love and attention a person could stand, but she also took her role as our protector very seriously. As Anna said, we never really left the manor. It was a great estate, but for all intents and purposes we were under house arrest for years. We had private tutors for our schooling and no nanny except for Grandmere. The household staff were either sworn to secrecy or told an unassuming story about how we were two distant cousins who had fallen on hard times. The core of the story was true, of course. We had been orphaned through a series of tragic circumstances, but everything else was an illusion, including our names.”

Emma’s look of surprise had Anna clarifying quickly. “Our full names are Elisandra and Annadella, but our parents always called us Elsa and Anna. Those other names were family heirlooms, but these names were our truth. That’s what Mama used to say. Still those nicknames were a luxury we couldn’t afford when at our Grandmere’s. So we chose new ones. Selene for Elsa, and Soleil for me.”

“Totally different,” Emma said casually.

“They were,” Elsa agreed, “But they kept an important part of our story intact. My father called me his ‘little Luna’ since the night I was born, under a full blue moon. An ice-solstice, as it’s referred to in Arendellian tradition. It’s supposedly a sign of great fortune for babies born to be born on those rare nights. Meanwhile Anna was born at high noon on the sunniest, most beautiful day of the year. The kind of day that was a gift, as Papa would say. From that day forward, Anna became his ‘sunshine.”

“So let me guess, Selene means moon and Soliel means sun.”

“Yes. It was hard to get used to, but Grandmere helped us every step of the way. She was devoted to us completely, and in truth, I think she loved us as much as any mother could. She had no children of her own, but she had us, and thank God we had her.”

“But you never went out, you never left your home?”

“Not for a long time. Eventually we were allowed small indulgences. We went to Grandmere’s house in Paris every Christmas season for the shopping and the sights. We visited her sister, Aunt Josephina, on the Spanish coast in August, when the weather was hottest and the beach was pure bliss,” Anna acquiesced. “But we never went to school or sports or that kind of thing. All we really had was each other, until I made a dear friend in our next-door neighbor, Aurora. She didn’t know the truth about our past, but Grandmere fully trusted her parents. They were diplomats, and always had ample security. A few summers I was allowed to go for a week or two to their summer home. Elsa was always invited, but she preferred the quiet for a change, deciding to get lost in her reading instead of adventuring with me.”

Emma noticed that Elsa flinched slightly at the words, but it escaped Anna’s notice. Emma looked at her curiously, wondering if Elsa would comment on the claim, but when no words came from Elsa, she decided to ask some more directed questions. Emma wondered about what had happened to Arendelle and how they came to be in Montenarro. Arendelle, luckily, was much recovered from the tumult of the past. The heinous coup had been righted by the people, and a new democratic government instilled. Unfortunately, their Uncle had not made it through that dark time unscathed. He grew very ill while in confinement and died some years later. The country was now transitioning to a fully democratic state, but there was, at least reportedly, great respect amongst the public for the royals that were. Their parents and Uncle were highly regarded, with a memorial service each year held in honor of their bravery and dedication to the country. Whispers about whatever happened to Elsa and Anna, or if they had even existed remained, but it had been a long time since any real attention was paid to their fates.

Despite those changing tides, Elsa and Anna’s grandmother had always been hesitant in exposing the truth. She believed it wise not to open the door to a grand reveal. Why tempt fate when they could instead pursue, simpler, less complicated lives? Elsa and Anna had waivered at first, but ultimately decided that the best way to honor their parents was to do as they’d instructed – share their love and their abilities to make the lives of people who needed it better. Their personal experiences sparked their interest in working with orphaned children, and they both went to school to study in Paris, staying at their Grandmere’s home all the while. It was only after the unexpected death of their dear Grandmere that they’d decided on a change. The jobs here in Montenarro had been discovered, and the rest was history. Anna and Elsa had chosen their simple, balanced life, and they’d been keeping the secret all the while.

“So, I guess keeping the truth from the rest of the world now is less about any danger to your life, and more about your privacy. I can only imagine how it would go – the press discovering two long lost princesses who lived through that kind of turmoil. It would be…” Emma trailed off and Anna filled in.

“A nightmare.”

Now there was no denying the reaction from Elsa, and in truth, it looked like her friend had been struck by something. She was suddenly pale, and clearly agitated, and Emma suspected it was all to do with a certain King who’d paid her extra mind upon his visit to the Center yesterday.

“Elsa, are you all right?” Anna asked, pulling Elsa in from her own wandering thoughts. Still she looked almost haunted, and was unable to convince either Anna or Emma that she was well.

“I’m fine,” she said, but the whispered words were hardly reaffirming.

“You are definitely not fine. Elsa, you’re white as a sheet.”

“I’m always pale, you know that,” Elsa tried to joke but it was a pitiful attempt at humor.

“Elsa, seriously. What’s wrong?” Anna asked, looking, for the first time all day, actually afraid. That distress in her sister’s eyes prompted Elsa to hug Anna fiercely, and admit an unexpected truth for both Anna and Emma.

“I have to tell you something. Something I never told you.”

“Okay,” Anna agreed quickly, with nothing like anger in her expression. “You know you can tell me anything. Anything at all.”

This time the revelations shared were questioned mostly by Anna, though Emma had questions as well. Who wouldn’t, given the surprise twist in an already surprising tale?

It turned out that in one of those times where Anna was traveling with her friend, Elsa had gone with their Grandmere back to Paris. One afternoon they received an invitation from their grandmother’s oldest friend for a garden party. With Elsa now 16, it was their grandmother’s belief that she was ready for such an event. Elsa promised to keep to her story and mind her manners, but when she arrived, she was so nervous about doing or saying the wrong thing that she wandered off, away from the party all together. Deep within the hedgerow she’d met a young man who was also hiding. The bond of shared discomfort and an instant attraction made for a magical day where young love had a chance to bloom. At the time Elsa knew him only as Liam, and while she had planned to ask her Grandmere for more information on him, the old woman was in a state of panic when they finally reunited. It turned out more people were there than she ever realized, including some who could have discovered the secret. Elsa saw how much relief her Grandmere felt when she fibbed and said she’d been alone out in the gardens, she hadn’t the heart to tell her the truth. The lie was typical, especially for a teenager, but it was clear it still ate away at Elsa.

“I felt awful keeping it from her. I kept trying to get up the courage to confess, but then you came home early after Aurora broke her ankle on her horse, and the summer ended, and nothing ever came of it,” Elsa said, looking to Anna. “Eventually I came to believe that even if he seemed remarkable to me, he was just a boy. Our secret was still safe, and I had had my day in the sun.”

“So you didn’t realize who he was?” Emma asked and Elsa shook her head.

“It never came up,” Elsa asserted. “He only referred to himself as Liam. He told me he was seventeen and that his mother knew our hostess and that was it. I didn’t ask questions. Well, not about those kinds of things. We talked for hours, about everything and nothing. I didn’t have the time for basic details.”

The feeling was familiar to Emma. When she first met Killian, she felt the same way. They were so busy connecting with each other, so busy feeling the spark between them, that the words almost seemed to matter less. Knowing that Elsa had experienced that explained every part of her reaction yesterday, from the barely veiled interest to the severe trepidation every time she was within touching distance of the King.

“But when did you know the truth of who he was, Elsa? Please, please tell me it wasn’t just yesterday,” Anna begged, surprising both Elsa and Emma with her acceptance of the story and genuine want for Elsa to not have been blind-sided.

“It wasn’t,” Elsa admitted. “I found out when we first came to interview here. I saw a picture in the paper and I knew. I should have told you then, Anna, I know I should have, but we both felt it, our calling to this place. I swear it was like Mama and Papa brought us here. There were all those signs, and that feeling we just hadn’t had since we were kids. I thought that if I shared the truth we’d have to leave, and I couldn’t do that, to you or to me.”

“I’m so glad you didn’t,” Emma admitted. “Perhaps that makes me selfish, but I know for a fact how much staying has meant not just for me but for the kids. This place is like one big family, and it’s thanks to you two. It wouldn’t be the same without you.”

“I comforted myself with that thought for years. We were making a difference, we were using the magic Mama taught me about. But that doesn’t mean what I did was right. I shouldn’t have kept it from Anna, and now we may have no choice but to run.”

“No choice but to run?” Anna parroted, astounded at the idea. “Elsa, what are you talking about? We are not running. You are definitely not running!”

“We’re not?”

“Absolutely not. And you know why? Because this is love, Elsa. If yesterday is anything to go off of, and if your day together years ago was even half as romantic as you described, it’s full blown, love at first sight, once in a lifetime stuff. And you want to talk about signs? How about the fact that we could have landed anywhere in the world for work – we had no limits and no plan – and we ended up here, in the same place where Liam is King. The chances were so slim, I know that was Mama and Papa’s doing.”

Tears had spilled onto Elsa’s cheeks at Anna’s declaration, but it didn’t stop Anna from continuing on, even though her own eyes were misting over with the emotion of it all. “Our parents would never ever want you to run from love, Elsa, and neither do I. You deserve it, and here it is, back again after years of being parted. You’ve never really connected with anyone else, and I thought it was just a matter of waiting for the right man to come along, but now I know you were waiting for him again.”

“But it’s hopeless, Anna. He is the King.”

“So? You’re a princess.”

“A princess in hiding. A princess who’s story belongs squarely in the past. I can’t ask him to keep the secret, but I also can’t keep it from him. I’m caught up in this web I can’t get out of, and Liam is too honorable. He would never deceive his people like that. I wouldn’t ever ask him to.”

“So we let the secret go,” Anna said adamantly. “It’s simple Elsa. We just tell the truth.”

“You don’t mean that,” Elsa replied earnestly.

“I do.”

“You just said it would be a nightmare.”

“That was before I realized our alternative, and believe me, Elsa, there is no question of which is worse. If giving up obscurity and facing the press is what it takes to get you your love, it will be the easiest decision I ever make.”

“That’s assuming he even wants me,” Elsa said prompting Emma to chime in.

“Oh, he wants you. Believe me, and if you don’t believe me, then believe Killian. He talked about it most of the night, and he knows his brother better than anyone.”

“Maybe he wants me, but he doesn’t know everything, and I have no idea how he’ll take it.”

“Well there’s only one way to find out,” Anna said, standing up and pulling Elsa with her. “You have to tell him.”

“Now?” Elsa squawked, looking at Emma for help and Emma intervened.

“Let me call, Killian. He’s at the palace today. He can help us figure out a time.” No sooner had she said the words than her fingers were making the call. It rang only twice before the sexiest voice she knew picked up.

“Miss me already, Swan?”

“Something like that. Listen, I’m here with Elsa and Anna and I think it would be good if Elsa and Liam talked.”

Emma heard murmuring and then something that sounded like the phone banging on a table. She flinched from the sound, but then heard Killian once more. “Sorry, love. Suffice it to say my brother is enthused by the prospect.”

“When?” Emma asked, and she heard a resounding ‘Now!’ from the background. It was Liam’s voice and it prompted a smile for Emma. Elsa and Anna looked at her curiously as Killian responded.

“The sooner the better it seems.”

“Okay, so in an hour then?”

“Aye.” Again there was fussing on the other line, and it sounded like someone was pacing, until Killian spoke once more. “Might I suggest my place, so they may have some privacy.”

“Perfect,” Emma agreed. “She’ll be there.”

“Brilliant,” Killian quipped, “And Emma?”

“Yes?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too,” she murmured, hanging up and putting her phone away in her pocket.

“And?” Anna asked.

“He wants to meet at Killian’s in an hour.”

“So soon?!” Elsa asked and Emma laughed.

“By the sounds of thing, an hour may as well be an eternity in Liam’s eyes.”

“He’s not the only one,” Anna agreed drawing Emma and Elsa’s gazes immediately. “What? Oh, come on, Emma, like you aren’t totally excited to see what happens. The suspense is practically killing me.”

“It may actually kill me,” Elsa said, putting her hand to her heart.

“It’s going to be all right,” Emma insisted, prompting Elsa to look up at her with hopeful but still skeptical eyes. “Don’t ask me how I know, but I do. I can just tell.”

“See!” Anna said excitedly. “And you know Emma’s gut is legendary. She can sense these things.”

“She didn’t sense Killian was a prince,” Elsa replied, not in a mean way, but as a frantic response from someone currently dealing with a lot.

“Touché,” Emma said with a laugh. “But I did know he was it for me. So, let me put it this way: I don’t know exactly how it will happen, but I do know you and Liam are going to work things out. Is that better?”

“Only if you really mean it,” Elsa whispered.

“I do,” Emma said softly.

“Ok,” Elsa agreed after a moment’s pause, straightening her spine in a show of determination. “Ok, I’ll do it.”

And with that the three of them set out to help Elsa get ready, knowing today would be a turning point, and that soon a much-needed conversation would lay it all out there once and for all.

Post-Note: Not going to lie, this chapter took SO long to craft, partially because of my muse being fussy, but mostly because, in the end, I needed two chapters to do this whole bit justice. I know I am leaving you on a bit of a cliff hanger, but I promise that next chapter we get the entirety of the Elsa/Liam story, and some added CS scenes to boot. Anyway, I really do hope that you enjoyed this chapter, and that it brightened your day, even if there were parts that were a bit sad. I love seeing what you all think, and knowing so many of you have enjoyed reading so far. I am still pretty busy with other things at the moment, but I promise to do my best to get an update written soon. Hope to see you next time, until then, hoping you are safe, healthy, and well!

[number5theboy]

ALRIGHT

THIS SEASON

IT WAS A LOT

my liveblogged thoughts under the cut

Episode 1

·         Exhilarating! I love Ben

·         Ben already has more lines in these first five minutes than he had in the first season

·         This montage is good

·         ALLISON BABY

·         Luther yelled for Diego first I love this

·         Diego is immediately in vigilante mode…….hot

·         THE SHOT PARELLING VANYA’S FIRST WORDS

·         Vanya is a mess we love to see it

·         The shot of Five’s feet hitting the puddle? So aesthetically pleasing

·         The battle scene is such a smart way of reintroducing everyone’s powers and their Final Form™ succinctly

·         I love Hazel. So much.

·         The Umbrella Atomic Explosion™ is SO clever I love it

·         ALRIGHT UNCHARTERED TERRITORY LET’S GOOOOOOOOOOO

·         Oh Hazel and Five make me soft

·         Agnes and Hazel had a good life

·         Hazel is so dead

·         Welp that took no time at all

·         “How many times did I say bulletproof briefcases?” ily mister five

·         I love the Swedes they’re stupid

·         Are we ever gonna know what Agnes made Hazel promise?

·         Five is honestly world’s best character

·         FUTURE HEADQUARTERS

·         “Well the truth is out there!” abkdkblhlkbkhl

·         I shouldn’t make quick judgments, but conspiracy nut guy is nice and I hope he doesn’t turn out evil, because I also through Harold was nice in the beginning

·         Diego got himself arrested already what an idiot

·         Asddjgflkflhfl Diego’s problems all put out

·         Okay, set-up for Diego’s character arc of self-actualisation we love to see it

·         Lila is awesome, but I hope they don’t make her crush on him excessively

·         Diego and Five is an underrated duo

·         THEY ARE SO BICKERY

·         Five is jut gonna murder him sometime along the way

·         I LOVE FIVE SO MUCH WHAT A LITTLE SHIT

·         Oof Vanya is so cute in that outfit

·         This scene perfectly encapsulates women having to listen to men

·         VANYA’S GOING TO MILFTOWN Y’ALL

·         I cannot tell white men apart, does Carl look like conspiracy nut guy or is it just me?

·         As usual, Ben and Klaus are bad at everything

·         “neither does your beard” icon Ben Hargreeves

·         I support Ben pummelling Klaus

·         I passionately hate the beard and love the coat

·         Why do all the white men look alike, I thought this poker dude was a Swede

·         I KNEW BEN WAS LYING

·         “Pick a better time to self-actualise!”

·         I still hate the beard, let’s see if it grows on me

·         Yusuf Gatewood………….hot

·         By far the hottest couple so far in TUA

·         Please tell me she’s not still hung up on Luther

·         Yes she is goddammit

·         The moon thing is cute though, I can appreciate that

·         Luther finally gets a well-soundtracked fight scene I love it

·         OI THAT WAS BRUTAL HOLY SHIT

·         Oh Luther is pulling a Five in feeling bad about his excessive violence

·         I already hate his boss

·         Raymond marry me pls

·         Allison marry me pls

·         OH MY GOD VANYA LAUGHED

·         Sissy and Vanya have excellent chemistry

·         Oh I see the deliberate parallel with Vanya, Umbrella Academy, you aren’t fooling me

·         SWEDISH ASSASSINS BABY

·         Do you think they’ll say a single word or?

·         Literally the only way this show knows how to signal danger is through flickering lights

·         Two bopping fight scene and Five hasn’t been in any of them

·         Lila and Diego have no braincells between them it’s beautiful

·         Alright, she knows how to fight……..supicious

·         If this show wasn’t so hellbent on making Luther and Allison a thing, he would be best ace rep

·         Lmao “I don’t give a shit” I love you Luther

 EPISODE TWO

·         ALRIGHT THE HANDLER IS BACK???????

·         Okay so Hazel and Cha-Cha are dead but that pestilence still runs around??? Bruuuuuuuuuh

·         Kate Walsh is still hot though

·         AJ??????

·         THE FISH SMOKES?!?

·         God the Commission is such a capitalist hellhole

·         Oh there we have 743

·         H E R B

·         Okay I am here to see her humiliated but please no redemption arc for her

·         I love the deliberate parallels between Five and the Handler

·         “Like a masseuse?” IDIOTS

·         Oh Five is so lost and vulnerable baby boy

·         Also the character developments in Luther!!!!!

·         “Dad should’ve left him on the moon.” Five is, simply said, an icon

·         Oof Sissy is SO cute

·         I’m already not ready for Five to find Vanya

·         Lila is so extra can we keep her

·         Great now I have sympathy for Carl

·         Luther’s new outfit looks so good on him

·         OH LUTHER IS THE FIRST ONE TO SEE HER

·         Well that was dramatic and didn’t lead anywhere

·         Alright two episodes in, Civil Rights plotline hasn’t been fucked up yet

·         WHAT THE FUCK IS THE SWEDE DRINKING SO CONSCPICOUSLY

·         ELLIOTT IS THE NAME OF MISTER CONSPIRACY

·         “cousins on my robot mother’s side”

·         “Imagine Batman, then aim lower.”

·         Lila is great I love her

·         Diego is gonna throw both Five and Lila through a wall at some point

·         Five is so ready to throw Diego under the bus

·         Klaus Hargreeves, world’s worst cult leader

·         ……….did Klaus built a cult on pop lyrics?

·         Klaus and Raymond bonding I love it

·         DIEGO AND FIVE BEST TEAM

·         REGINALD IS THE UMBRELLA MAN

·         OH LUTHER IS GONNA FIND HER HOLY SHIT

·         THE BARN FROM THE PROMO PICTURE

·         This scene is so good

·         “You shouldn’t be the one to apologise.” I’M GONNA CRY

·         Tom Hopper and Ellen Page are so good in this scene

·         WHY DID HE LEAVE

·         What the flying fuck is up with the Swedes

·         BRO WHAT THE FUCK

·         Is Five ever gonna bring up the fact that he was supposed to kill Kennedy or?

·         Raymond is wasted on someone who doesn’t give him her whole heart

·         What the FUCK, Klaus

·         Why does she remember her name tho

·         The violin starting up when she talks about the callouses on Vanya’s hands

·         Brotherly bonding is my new favourite scene

·         Do the filmmakers know that your scene can be suspenseful and well-lit

·         Okay maybe baby Pogo is cute

·         There is gonna be no Five murdering spree, the blood is solely from Pogo

·         Next well-soundtracked fight scene

·         The choreography of this!!!!!

·         Man Reginald is a shitty dad before he even becomes a dad

·         Diego cannot catch a break poor baby

 EPISODE 3

·         SHITTY WIG ON KLAUS ALERT

·         THE LEVITATION IS BEN I HATE THIS

·         So far, all title card umbrellas have not disappointed

·         You are running in a straight line you really should hit her

·         Yep, Watchmen flashbacks

·         Luther remains cute and awkward

·         THEY ARE TALKING TO EACH OTHER BABY

·         S E Q U I N S

·         SNEAKY LADY ALLISON IS BACK

·         FINALLY

·         A HUG  

·         Allison and Klaus are so cute

·         What in the goddamn Looney Tunes is this outfit lady

·         WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU LADY

·         ALLISON HARGREEVES YOU QUEEN

·         This spooky ghost show is great

·         Everyone going off on Five is great

·         @ this show stop ripping Vanya and Five apart and let them be soft

·         Diego is so naked this entire season

·         Diego and Lila are a good dynamic

·         Elliott is a babe I love him

·         The Handler continues to be creepy about Five

·         So much driving

·         Luther is baby and Raymond deserves better than to deal with all the baggage from all the Hargreeves brothers

·         HE SHAVED THE BEARD

·         Ouch this is awkward

·         I don’t get why they didn’t cast normal Dave to play young Dave they’re not that far apart in age

·         Oh he’s gonna have to let Dave go

·         Oh this scene must be so triggering

·         Oh shit’s bad and it’s only episode 3

·         PUPPY???

·         WE WERE RIGHT ABOUT LILA

·         WHAT DO YOU MEAN THANKS MOM

 EPISODE 4

·         Oh my god the Handler is pure fucking evil

·         She learnt the fighting from her mom alright

·         THE RED BOOTS WERE THERE ALL ALONG

·         Man I hoped that the antisemitism was gone

·         Vanya being protective of Luther :’)

·         Luther only has shitty father figures

·         I can’t believe they were better organised last season

·         Why do you hate the Vanya/Five dynamic so much, show?

·         Five got an extra dose of asshole today this season huh

·         Reggie is probably the twelfth

·         Oh boy Klaus is a trainwreck

·         That marriage is also a trainwreck

·         I understand Ray though

·         Why is there Styx on this soundtrack

·         Oh Klaus baby

·         GALA NIGHT BITCHES

·         Five is a smart young old man

·         Oh baby is eating his heart out

·         Oh the hug makes me soft though

·         Honestly, Tom Hopper and Emmy Raver Lampman have such cute chemistry

·         AWKWARD DARLING MAN

·         “Doomsday” *nervous chuckle*

·         Ballroom lessons as kids

·         This is an excellent dance scene

·         OH MY GOD MOM WAS MADE AFTER A REAL WOMAN

·         THIS SHOW MAN THIS SHOW

·         Reggie is gross

·         Diego’s mommy AND daddy issues are put on blast this season

·         Sissy is such a babe

·         Man we got budget BUDGET for this season

·         Alright, the white violin can revive people now cool cool cool

·         How different her powers are when powered by love

·         I love Elliott I hope he survives the eason

·         I am down for Luther and Elliott getting high together

·         LET’S GO LESBIIIAAAAAAAAAANS

·         God Allison and Klaus make me so soft

·         I am very supportive of Elliott and Luther becoming bros

·         You already shanked one son, go poker stick another one

·         YES EXCELLENT FIGHT MUSIC

·         They both?????? Just left him to fend for himself??????????

·         Ancient Greek??? Bitch what

·         This show is rated for violence and we have barely seen any!!!!!! What!!!!!!!

 Episode 5

·         Okay baby Pogo and Grace is adorable

·         Why is Pogo in space now

·         THEY KILLED POGO

·         AGAIN

·         Hargeeves got a hug before Five did what the effing fuck

·         He might be a dick but his instincts are good

·         Haha old cowboy

·         Ben is so done

·         Vanya……..Sissy……..my heart

·         Wow Reginald continues to be a massive arse

·         Luther/Diego/Five are DUMB and I love them

·         “No, bro, he shanked your heart.”

·         God the Handler!!!!!!

·         THE MUSIC AT THE REUNION

·         We didn’t even see Five reunite with Allison and Klaus!!!!!

·         GOD WHAT A SISTERLY UPGRADE

·         KLAUS VANYA AND ALLISON HUGGING

·         Allison and Diego rights babey!!!

·         Are the Swedes ever gonna say something or

·         LILA AND FIVE TEAM-UP LET’S GO

·         I’VE MISSED YOU ALL SO MUCH I’M GONNA CRY BABY

·         The red-blue dynamic in Luther and Diego I live for that

·         Luther and Diego are gooooooood together

·         What is up with that

·         Klaus, Vanya and Allison are dumbasses and I love them so much

·         Alright where are the Swedes doing and why is that tree so creepy

·         Oh the youngest Swede just went tits-up

·         Please tell me Five is finally getting a fight scene

·         Excellent fight scene

·         Great, now I feel sad for the Swedes

·         They deffo have a cooler aesthetic than Hazel and Cha-Cha

·         This cover is beautiful

 EPISODE 6

·         This wig looks better than Klaus’

·         Also Ben has barely been in this season where is he at

·         Oof Ray is so cute

·         The Handler and Five have such good chemistry holy shit

·         Diego, Luther and Vanya are a god-tier dynamic

·         We love the CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

·         BENNY BOY HAS A CRUSH

·         Wait how is this only episode six I feel like this is already the pensum of the first season

·         Clothing montage baby!!!!!

·         God they look so good together

·         Oh Allison can be RUTHLESS

·         THE BINGO CARDS

·         Oh no no no no I didn’t think Klaus and Dave could be even more tragic

·         THEY TALK

·         God she is so fucking creepy stop lusting after a child

·         World’s most satisfying elevator shot

·         This scene is chaos I love it

·         God everyone just harps on Diego’s daddy issues jesus

·         Oh baby no

·         Oh babies no

·         NO NOT THE DISSOLUTION OF TEAM ZERO

·         Why are there so many antisemitic dogwhistles in this

·         This scene between Five and Reginald is good

·         NOT ELLIOTT

·         Oh no no no no Carl

·         Alright at least this promises a good fight scene

 EPISODE 7

·         This polka music bops

·         Wait how did he get to 1982

·         HE SAID FUCK

·         Man Carmichael was out so quick

·         No fish-eating?

·         Awwwww Klaus and Ben have a heart to heart

·         Oh God, Diego and Luther have no brain activity between the two of them

·         That is a Look

·         Oh this montage of Ben rediscovering touch

·         The writing of this show was oddly prophetic

·         Oh wait Vanya’s gonna be incarcerated too right????

·         Oh this is heart-breaking

·         Really?????? Ben’s the dorky one???

·         Oh my god Ben is getting a hug and Diego is so soft

·         Man why are Five and Vanya so antagonistic

·         FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

·         Dude a fight between them would have been so epic

·         Diego

·         You idiot

·         Oh Allison really loves him and he loves her

·         Oh I am so sad

·         Yeah this episode is infinitely worse than the day that wasn’t

·         FUCK YEAH BACKSTREET BOYS

·         What the fuck

·         Yo that is sadistic as fuck Allison what the flying fuck

·         This scene might ruin the song for me

·         There definitely was an easier way out

·         They fucked it up

·         I am not surprised

 EPISODE 8

·         Oh she speaks Russian

·         Five just snapped and honestly deserves it

·         Yeah I feel for the Swede

·         What is it with commission assassins and axes this season

·         “Your vagina needs fresh glasses.”

·         Nepotism

·         Oh Grace is turning on him baby!!

·         Ha remember when we were all like ‘oh no they’re making Reggie sympathetic’

·         Yeah so much for that

·         Five and Luther are……..soft

·         What the fuck is up with that

·         AYYYY BUTTHOLE SURFERS ON THE SOUNDTRACK

·         Oooooohhhhhhh trippy kid scene

·         Also Reggie is bad at German

·         I love Luther and Five so much

·         We finally get to see older Five’s tie pattern

·         Alright Lila makes me uncomfortable

·         FIVE IS GONNA GO FERAL Y’ALL LET’S GO

·         Man after the last rampage you’d think they’d upped security in this place

·         Herb for president!!

·         Some catch Diego’s ego is going berserk

·       �� Oh not again

·         Dot is a rebel now

·         Everyone is ragging on Five, even Five

·         This is so trippy

·         Oh yeah the brains. Forgot about those.

·         I……….sad

·         Oh my god oh my god oh my god

·         Of course it’s all the government’s fault

·         Love how they just walked into an FBI building

·         Bro what the fuck is going on

EPISODE 9

·         Allison is always there for Vanya and I love her

·         Hello Klaus and Diego are so cute

·         Oh my heart you go Klaus

·         So much for that

·         BUT BEN

·         YOU ARE CLIFF-HANGERING BE INSIDE AN EPISODE

·         Crazy Five is an idiot I love him

·         “I’m the daddy here” is not the gazelle, but it’ll do in a pinch

·         The 743!!!!!!

·         Oh God, Harlan is in danger

·         She loves him?!? You barely know the man!!!!!!

·         WHAT’S ON THE PAPER

·         Oh it’s her file

·         HELLO LET US SEE THE FIVES TYING TO OFF EACH OTHER

·         This continues to be trippy

·         These visuals are so stunning

·         This is my favourite scene so far, this is so good, this is an excellent talk

·         NO

·         NOT BEN

·         NOT BEN

·         “I’m askin’, Carl.” You go Sissy, love you, you’re doing excellent

·         Alright, we have a mini-Vanya here

·         Oh I hate the Handler so fucking much she is the worst

·         What a plot-twist

·         Oh god so much is going on in this season

·         Oh we get fish-eating, but it’s not Five? That’s lame

·         Why are they all so hell-bent on making stupid decisions

·         Klaus you idiot

·         Oh that SON OF A BITCH HARGREEVES

·         What the fuck what is on the dark side of the moon

·         What the flying fuck what the fuck what tebdjbdgkbjdsgkbjgsdjgnj

·         WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE GOING TO WAR

 EPISODE 10

·         Oh the kids are back for Ben’s funeral

·         I hate this

·         Reginald is just. The worst.

·         My emotions are all over the place

·         Oh……..babies

·         OH MY GOD DIEGO

·         AND FIVE

·         It wouldn’t hurt to go to an abandoned farm

·         God this is a family of shitty choices

·         I don’t want Ben to be gone

·         FAMILY TIME

·         Oh shit I totally forgot about the last Swede

·         BRO THE STAKES

·         YEAH THIS LOOKS BAD

·         ALRIGHT Harland is gonna be alright

·         All these assassins have shit aim

·         HE’S MATRIXING

·         LILA’S ONE OF THE 43

·         SHE CAN ABSORB AND REDIRECT THEIR ENERGIES

·         ONE OF THEM ONE OF THEM ONE OF THEM

·         Awwwwww they love each other

·         Oh great THEY’RE DEAD AGAIN

·         Oh now LILA will have to fix the timeline

·         Wait now they’re all dead

·         The swede to the rescue?

·         Please tell me she’s dead for good this time

·         We love a de facto protagonist saving everyone’s asses once more

·         GO VANYA SAVE THE BABY

·         Dot and Herb are precious dumbasses

·         This is heart-breaking, but I understand Sissy so much

·         WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS CLIFFHANGER

[wordsfromthesol]

Aren't You the Bad Guy? (1/3)

Author: @wordsfromthesol Pairing: Dick Grayson x Reader Summary: You are Lex Luthor’s secret daughter. Why does he keep you so hidden? Warnings: Language, suicidal thoughts, violence, blood Word Count:  1.8k A/N: I was inspired by events that happened in Titans and their approach to Jericho. I don’t think there are really spoilers, just a similar origin story. Enjoy!

Part Two   Part Three

Growing up was no picnic, especially having Lex Luthor for a father. His public image was just that, an image, his true self was only shown to a choice few. You, unfortunately, were one of those few. Your mother had left you with the receptionist at LCORP twenty-four years ago and Lex had made sure that no one knew he had a daughter…after all he didn’t want all his enemies to use you against him.

You still weren’t sure that was the only reason, but there wasn’t much you could do about it. You were his number one test subject, in fact you had lost count of the number of experiments you had been a part of. Not that you ever really remembered what he was trying to achieve…only the pain. You only ever remembered the pain. You quickly learned how to file that information away, push it far back into the recesses of your memory. Sometimes you just wanted it to be all over, you wanted one of his experiments to go too far so you could be done, but you were pretty sure your father would find some way to bring you back to life. In fact, you weren’t entirely sure that he hadn’t already done so.

At least he let you live somewhat a normal life, in-between the experimentation. You worked at a local bakery and lived in a modest apartment just outside of Metropolis…after all he needed you close-by.

***

“I’m tired of this bullshit!” Dick punched the wall of the batcave. “We still have no idea what Luthor’s plans are with this drug! Hell, we aren’t even sure what the fuck it does!”

Tim let out a long sigh and finally broke the silence, “I may have something that could help.” He typed into the batcomputer and pulled up your file, “This is Lex Luthor’s hidden daughter. Y/N.”

“Dick…we can’t.” It was unusual for Jason to be the voice of reason, but this was taking it too far. “She may not even know anything.”

“But what if she does?! We have to know…this is the only way.”

***

A familiar face walks in the front door of the bakery. Familiar in that your father made you memorize all the civilian identities of known vigilantes. Dick Grayson, what could the boy wonder be here for. More like what nonsense has my father done now.

“Hey,” Dick flashed that signature flirty smile your way, “I’m interested in a cake. For my youngest brother’s birthday.”

Well at least he’s not drilling you right away, let’s see where this goes. “Alright, what flavor were you thinking?”

“Well, I’m not sure. He can be a bit difficult.”

“Okay…well we can make cakes in all the flavors you see here.” You pointed to a row of cupcakes in the display case. “You can always get the cupcakes now, and see what kind he likes best?” This was often your go-to suggestion for those tricky customers.

“Hmm…good idea. I’ll take one of everything then.”

You nodded and prepared the box, just as you felt a headache come on. Ignoring it, you ran the customer up, and – to your surprise – he actually turned to leave. Maybe it actually was a coincidence he came into your shop. Dick had just opened the door when he heard you scream. Quickly, he turned around – dropping the box of cupcakes – and raced to your side, catching your collapsing body before it reached the ground.

“Guys, I may need your help in here.” Within seconds Jason, Tim, and Damian enter the shop.

“What the fuck Dick –” Jason began as he watched your body writhe in pain.

“She just collapsed! I didn’t do anything, I was leaving, I swear!” Dick tried to recall the events in his head, just as two very large men entered the shop.

“We will be taking that one.” One of them scoffed and pointed towards you.

“Yeah, I don’t think so” Tim called out as he charged the men, Jason and Damian following in his lead.

“We got this Grayson.” Damian called back, as Dick picked you up and raced to the batmobile, placing you inside and giving you a sedative for good measure. Even in the supercharged car, it would take over an hour to get you back to the Manor.

Dick had just got you situated in the med-bay when his brothers entered the cave.

“Want to enlighten us on today’s events Grayson?” Damian questioned his older brother.

Dick just shook his head, unsure of what actually happened himself.

***

It took days for you to awake. This is not the bakery…but also not Lex’s lab. At least, it wasn’t one you were familiar with. Carefully you pulled the tubes from your arm and face, and swung your legs over the edge of the bed. You tested your legs before fully standing, but soon you heard footsteps. Quickly, you laid back down and shut your eyes, focusing in on the voices.

“Maybe we should call M’gann. Seems like a mental issue” Tim reasoned, as physically, you seemed fine.

“How are we going to explain the fact that we have Lex’s daughter? Think before you speak, replacement.” Jason scoffed at his younger brother.

“Well, we don’t have many options. It’s been nearly 72 hours since she’s been awake.”

Suddenly their voices stopped, and you heard the door to your room open. Finally, you heard Dick break the silence.

“Y/N, we know you’re awake.”

You sighed and opened your eyes, realizing the tubes lying on the floor had given you away.

“So, this M’gann person. She’s the Martian right?”

The boys exchanged confused looks, there was no way you should have been able to hear them, nonetheless know who M’gann was, but Tim spoke up anyways.

“Yeah…we think she can help, uhm, see into your mind.”

“As much fun as that doesn’t sound.  I agree with Tim here. Don’t worry, Jason, you don’t need to give her the full story on my…familial ties.”

Jason scoffed, “Yeah, she can get into your mind, so I don’t think there’s any hiding that.”

You just smiled and shrugged at him.

M’gann was at the cave mere minutes after Tim contacted her. No words were said, but you knew a conversation was happening. She walked into your room, and you just nodded, not wanting to reveal any information the batboys had left out.

You felt her invading presence in your mind and quickly closed off sections unrelated to your current predicament before joining her consciousness.

“You must be M’gann…so I think this is the issue.” You pointed towards your memories of Dick Grayson.

“Yes, it seems someone has tampered with…” you could tell she began to feel all the people who had previously raided your mind, “your memories. It seems a pain response is initiated when in contact with certain people.”

“Can you get rid of it?”

“I can try, but I’m afraid that I can only dull the pain,” she closed her eyes, seeming to find the source. “The implanted pain response goes back much too far. How long have people been manipulating –”

“Look,” you cut her off, not wanting to provide any answers, “just do what you can. I’m sure I can handle whatever pain is left.”

Both you and M’gann resurfaced from your mind. M’gann started to immediately inform her friends of the failures, “I was able –” However, you immediately cut her off, they didn’t need to know.

“Thanks, M’gann. I already feel so much better.” You then warned her using your thoughts, if they know anymore, they could be in danger. Let me handle this. She simply nodded and left through the same Zeta-tube she arrived in hours before.

You took a few days to gather some of your strength back before you decided it was time to leave. You couldn’t give your father more ammo to hurt you, that’s why you had avoided any kind of relationship in the past. Gathering your things, you made your way to the front. You watched as Dick spotted you and proceeded to run towards you. All you could do was sigh before you opened the door, however you quickly shut it. Shit. No. They found me. You raced past Dick to the back of the house and into the backyard. You jumped and pulled yourself just above the fence when you spotted even more of Lex’s goons. You collapsed to the ground just as Dick approached. You held your finger to your lips and took him by the wrist, leading him inside.

“Where’s the rest of you?”

“Uhm, they are in the cave…Y/N what’s wrong? Why are you trying to leave?”

Ignoring his questions you continued on to the cave, the three boys looked up at you as you entered. “Alright, whose got something to locate a tracker? Like one embedded in you?”

Once again, the boys exchanged confused looks. You were getting real tired of those faces, it was Lex Luthor, you didn’t understand why anything surprised them when it came to your father.

Jason stalked over and pulled out a device. “This will find it, but we will have to come up with a way of getting it out.”

You snatched the device from his hand and found the tracker just below your collarbone on the left side of your chest. You scoffed, of course he would put it near the heart.

“That’s going to be a difficult place –” Dick’s face contorted into confusion, then shock as you grabbed the knife you stowed away in your boot and cut deep into your chest. You dug your fingers into the gash and felt the tracker, but your fingers were too big.

“Tweezers, anyone?” You called out, but everyone seemed frozen in shock, until Damian made a move to the nearby med-bay and walked out tweezers in hand. “Thank you, Damian.” You chimed, as you took them in hand and pulled the tracker out. Fuck you dad. You walked over to the sink and threw the tracker down the drain.

“Alright, guess I have to wait for those idiots to follow the new signal.” You directed your comment to the boys, but you really said it out loud for your own reassurance. It did seem to snap them out their fog.

“Y/N, what the hell.” Dick grabbed the medical kit and approached you, forcing you to sit on the edge of the hospital bed.

“What? You guys would’ve talked about the easiest way to get the damn thing out for hours. It needed to be done, so I did it.”

Dick glared at you as he disinfected and sewed up the fresh wound.

[imagineclaireandjamie]

On Foreign Ground. Part 3.

Anonymous said to imagineclaireandjamie: Hi! Will there be any more On Foreign Ground? Thanks!

I’ve had this in my drafts for a while, Anon, but only just had chance to finish it. Enjoy.

Parts One and Two found HERE. 

-----------------

Standing against the cold stone wall, Claire held her breath and waited for her stomach to stop rolling. She’d told her mother that she would ride home alone and her face, paler than usual, had said enough that she didn’t argue with her on the matter. Being able to return home without an escort meant that she could take a slight detour.

The sound of the wind rushing through the trees brought her back to the present and urged her onwards. The light was fading rapidly and she still had no real clue as to where she was going - though the ground beneath her feet was evening out. If all else failed, she’d find herself a comfy place to set up camp for the night. No stranger to sleeping in the open air; Claire had a good grasp of the land and (although her parents knew little of her nocturnal habits) had spent a fair few nights hunkered in the forest close to the edge of Grant clan lands.

A spark of light on the horizon caught her eye just as she was hunting for the perfect place to rest and she dismounted silently. Tying her horse to the closest tree, she peaked beyond the treeline. She heard the cock of the gun before the crackle of fallen leaves signalled that she had company. Turning slowly, she bit her bottom lip, her heart beating a firm erratic pattern beneath her ribs.

“Who are ye?” The young man whispered lowly, the rifle professionally held close to his cheek. She knew in that moment that she’d inadvertently located the correct family from the simple cock of his brow - the resemblance between the wee lad in front of her and Jamie was unmistakable. “And be honest, aye? I’ll ken if yer lying to me.”

“Claire,” she replied slowly, her eye catching his as she stopped - only half turned towards him, “Claire Grant and I mean you no harm.”

“Then ye willna mind coming down to the house to explain yerself to my father.”

The situation suddenly seemed less dire - surely Jamie would be inside and she’d be able to at least catch his eye as she was being interrogated by his father. Nodding, she elected to ignore the braying of her horse as she was led from the wooded area and down behind a rather large farmhouse that she assumed to be the Fraser family home. It was clear some event was happening as they rounded the side of property and up towards the front door. The sound of bagpipes flowed the moment the door was opened and she was greeted by the heady aroma of freshly baked bread.

“Straight to the kitchen, aye?” The young man behind her whispered, clearly trying to skirt her away from the festivities happening within.

He sat her down at the table before closing the door, leaving her alone in the cold room. There were mountains of cooked food lining the countertops, the scent of it making her tummy rumble and she realised that she hadn’t eaten in a number of hours. Unwilling to disturb the dinner of her unwitting hosts, she tampered -as much as she was able- the urge to fill her stomach and clasped her hands in her lap nervously.

She hoped the Frasers would give her the opportunity to speak. If they didn’t allow her to see Jamie, though, she didn’t know what the outcome of the impromptu meeting would be.

The sound of raised voices brought her out of her thoughts, the door slamming open to reveal a party whose eyes all fell immediately onto her as she sat, her curls falling out of her wonky cap.

“Mistress Grant.” Mr Fraser senior spoke with an air of anticipation, the look on his face leaving Claire with no doubt that he was in full patriarch mode. She was an outsider, an interloper from another clan who had no permission to be loitering on his lands and she could tell he was ready to deal with whatever issue arose from her shock arrival.

“Sir, Mr Fraser…” she stuttered, not really knowing how to address him or where to begin.

“Does yer father ken you’re here?” He asked, with some trepidation in his tone.

Claire shook her head, more of her curls tumbling from beneath the flimsy fabric.

The youngest man, the one who’d brought her down here, scoffed, crossing his arms and rolling his eyes in disbelief.

“Rabbie, hold yer tongue, aye?” His father cut in, stopping the lad dead in his tracks, leaving no room for argument. “Then, mistress, if ye dinna mind me asking,” though he clearly wanted an honest answer, “have ye a reason for trespassing on Fraser lands?”

“Jamie.” She said without any preamble. “I w-was looking for Jamie Fraser. It was an accident, actually finding you. Is he here?” She sounded more confident than she felt and she could see the colour drain from his father’s face - as well as the shocked and horrified glances from the rest of the clan who’d gathered in the kitchen alongside Mr Fraser.

“How do ye ken my brother?” An elder lad interjected, the fire in his gaze causing her to sit back in her chair. The wood beneath her suddenly felt unpleasant.

Swallowing back her nerves, she licked her dry lips and laid her shaky hands flat against the tabletop in front of her. The words fled her mind and she was left struggling to respond coherently in a way that wouldn’t sully Jamie’s reputation.

“William!” His father castigated, but she could already see the rebellion alight in the Fraser siblings, both now stood shoulder to shoulder.

“No father. She’s interrupted our handfast, and now she comes to our kitchen - wi’ Jamie’s name on her lips and no possible explanation of how and why she should be searching for him? We need answers, aye, afore the whole Grant clan comes marching down here searching for her and us left wi’ no reason she should be here. Come, lass, how do ye ken my brother?”

“Is he promised?” She asked, ignoring the question and the threat completely in favour of knowing whether she’d turned up in the middle of his handfast celebrations. Her heart was in her throat as she turned fully to face the family who were all still stood solemnly in the doorway though she knew it was completely selfish and hypocritical.

“Where did ye meet him before, mistress?” The only woman present, and clearly his mother was the swath of bright red hair that sat perfectly curled on top of her head, said diverting her away from her original question. Her posture was the only one to seem open and welcoming. She had cut to the quick. Her bright blue eyes trained on Claire’s as she virtually read her mind.

The men all turned to look at their matriarch as Claire tried to recall precise dates.

“The first time? A year or so ago - before he went to study in France. And again? A few weeks ago, in the woods close to our clan border. It was chance, when I came upon him initially but after that, I went to that spot a lot hoping to meet with him again…” She trailed off when the silence surrounding her erased her sudden burst of confidence.

“Did ye ken he had a secret lassie?” William asked, turning to face Rabbie. “Since ye and Jamie arena apart frequently these days?”

“I kent nothing!” Rabbie returned, the siblings both trying to find reason in her statement.

“Hush boys,” their mother and father both broke in simultaneously, “ye love him?” Mrs Fraser continued, her expression softening even more as she took one meaningful step towards Claire.

She looked away, closing her eyes as she brought to mind the image of her and Jamie the last time she’d seen him. “Yes, I suppose...in as much as I loved him in that moment and then longed for him the moment I had to leave.” The feel of him against her inner thighs made her flesh burn, the hairs on her arms standing on end as the pleasant memory surfaced before leaving the truth hanging on her tongue. “I took advantage of him,” she confessed, unable to look at her hosts as she spoke, “we fell asleep together and as dawn broke and I began to wake…”

“No,” the abrupt interruption made her turn quickly, her eyes opening to catch his gaze as he appeared behind his father, “I wanted you as much as you wanted me. I didna tell ye because we didna get the time, but I was pining for ye just as much. I dreamed of you, as ye did me. We woke, slowly, together and I didna stop ye because I was desperate for yer touch.”

The room seemed to disappear all at once and she forgot that she was sitting in a room filled with his family as the remained enraptured by one another.

“Christ, Jamie,” William hissed, anger lacing his tone, “ye lay with her?”

“It was my fault.” Claire corrected. “I --wait,” stopping herself, she suddenly recalled the party going on in the lounge beyond, the Frasers guests all blissfully unaware of the stramash currently escalating in the kitchen, “is this your handfast, Jamie?”

“No, thank Jesus!” Rabbie cursed, his cheeks flaming red at the previous announcement.

With the tension in the room easing, Claire felt the lead weight lift from her chest at the news. Though her comfort was short lived when she remembered the reason she’d found herself here in the first place. “I know this is presumptuous, but I can’t go back home, I didn’t know whether I would be able to find you, but it was the only place I could think to come for refuge.”

“So ye mean to bring Malcolm Grant down on us all?” Disbelief radiated from Jamie’s brothers who clearly didn’t approve of the suggestion. Rabbie simply stood with his mouth gaping open whilst William openly voiced his disagreement. The adults said nothing, but Claire sensed something more positive from their less aggressive countenance.

“Rabbie!” Their father hissed again making even Claire flinch. “Ye willna make such wild statements until ye ken the full truth of the matter. Now,” he continued, looking pointedly at Claire, “it’s clear we have some business to discuss but I dinna think Jenny and Ian’s handfast is the place to continue it. Jamie, ye take Claire to yer room and make sure she’s comfortable. Now is no’ the time to introduce her to the rest of the clan, aye? And she needs to rest. Boys, back to yer sister. And I’ll hear no more about it!”

With the brothers absent, Claire took a jagged breath and let the tension drain from her rigid spine. “I’m sorry,” she sobbed, her body shaking as she rubbed the stray tears from her eyes, “for disturbing your celebration, Mr and Mrs Fraser.”

“Dinna be daft!” His mother soothed, coming to stand by her side as she gathered Claire against her chest. “I ken yer father and I ken yer struggle. I’m glad ye were strong enough to get yourself here, that ye didna feel it necessary to suffer alone wi’ this. Now, get yerself something to eat - ye must be half starved - and rest, we’ll look after you both, lass.”

— —— —

They left via a quiet set of stairs away from the celebrations, Jamie holding tightly onto Claire’s hand as they tried to escape without drawing attention to themselves. HIs father had made it clear on their exit that, though he was happy for them to share the room, they must not advertise the fact until it was obvious that they were settled as man and wife - something that Claire was content to do. She could lie low, hiding from her father was preferable to facing his wrath.

Away from the party still raging below, Jamie wrapped her in one of his cleanest tartan shawls, watching as the fatigue played across her face in the candlelight. As much as it had been a taxing evening he was grateful that she had managed to unwittingly stumble close enough to the big house that Rabbie had found her. He’d only heard half the tale, but he knew something big must have happened for her to rush away from the Macpherson’s with the aim of seeking him out so late.

“I’m simply a vessel to him. If I go home, you’ll never see me again. If we were to be married, he would lock me away, that’s why I had to come.” Her eyes shone with unshed tears and he could see the truth of it floating in her watery irises. Searching her gaze, as quickly as he could, he twisted her hands in his searching her wrists and neck for any visible signs of damage. Finding none he looked back into her eyes and swallowed the enormous lump in his throat. “Did he hurt ye?” Knowing little of the Macphersons, Jamie bit the inside of his cheek. The man she was betrothed to was old enough to be her father and then some and it was entirely possible that he wasn’t the sort to treat a young lady well. “No,” she replied, taking his palm against hers, “but the look on his face said he wasn’t above it should the need arise.” All at once the nightmare reappeared in her mind - of what her life would be like should she have to wed Macpherson, sending tingles down her spine. “I cried the day I got my courses. I had wished so hard for our child so you’d have a reason to steal me away that when it didn’t come to pass my heart broke. I thought then that it was over, any chance of escaping the fate my father had set for me.” “Do ye think ye need to be wi’ child for me to whisk ye away, Claire?” Jamie asked, shocked, his eyebrows drawn together and his eyes clouding with an all too serious gaze.

“I--” she began, taking a large gulp of air before continuing, “I didn’t know what to think. I wanted to believe we could be together, you and I, no matter the circumstances. But since my father banned your name from our house I guessed there was something deeper buried in our family history which might prevent it.”

“And since when has that ever stopped a couple in love?” He enquired, a quirk to his brow as he delicately leaned his forehead against her own. “I think the fact that yer here wi’ me now and not riding home behind yer parents answers that question quite neatly, aye?”

“So what do we do now?” The blush that had settled across Claire’s cheeks subsided a little as she curled tidily against Jamie’s chest. He was warm, hot enough to relieve the chill from her as she began to rest her sore eyes.

“Dinna worry about that now, sleep first. Tomorrow we’ll eat and I’ll show ye Lallybroch. Mam and Da will help us in the morning.”

— —— — A dark corridor stretched out before her, the black curtains lining the barred windows as the rain lashed violently against the panes of glass. Though she knew it was just a dream (feeling the wisp of Jamie’s arms around her even through the heavy haze of the nightmare) she couldn’t help but feel a deep sense of foreboding. It was the room she’d been shown, her would-be quarters in the Macpherson castle, complete with its own draughty living space. The four poster bed called to her, the grey silk sheets wafting in the breeze as the lace draped from the posts flared in the wind.

“No…” she called out, unaware of whether she was actually talking in her sleep or not, “Jamie!” The feeling of cold was beginning to seep into her bones, her flesh crawling as the walls seemed to close in around you. “H-hold me...please…”

She was crying and shaking, but he held her as she’d asked, cuddling her shuddering shoulders against him as she sobbed into his neck. Since they’d fallen asleep in one another's arms she had woken like this frequently, her mind clearly elsewhere in her dreams. Without prompting further, Jamie had held her as she calmed, whispering endearments into her ears which seemed to be working as the night wore on.

“They’re going to come for me.” She whispered when she’d finally woken fully. “Your mother knows, I saw it written all over her face when she was looking at me. Somehow she knows my fathers’ voracity. He’s going to be so angry and that will only exacerbate his need to track me down and bring me home - no matter the consequences. I love you,” choking out the words she took a deep breath, “it’s important that you know that. That I’m here for you, not just because I’ve been pushed to it.”

“They were promised, or that was the intention. Mam used to tell us the story as bairns but I didna tell ye when I first kent who ye were - I thought ye’d think me daft.” Chuckling, he shifted himself closer. He felt her calm for the first time since they’d hidden beneath his clean sheets. “It felt like history repeating, falling in love with ye - and you wi’ me.”

“Your mother...and my father?”

“Oh aye. She’d already met and fallen for my father, though, and instead of courting wi’ Mr Grant,” he pulled her closer and kissed her forehead as he retold the story, redirecting her moudline thoughts, “they eloped. The next time anyone came upon them they were handfast and mam was pregnant wi’ William.”

“Is that what we have to do…?” Sighing contentedly, Claire allowed her fears to slip away as dawn approached.

Jamie let his hand glide over her hip, feeling her skin shudder beneath her cotton shift at the same time as she reached up to run a single finger over the outside of his bare thigh. Hitching her leg up and over his hip, it wasn’t long before they were silently nose to nose, Claire beneath him now as she slowly untied the string holding her shift together and gently shimmied it up and over her head. It took a little work, she had to allow Jamie to lift one hand each time to free her of the material, but the moment their flesh touched she knew it was worth it.

“Christ yer beautiful.” He gasped, his head tilting to get a glimpse of her in the moonlight. “All I could think of after ye left me the second time is whether I’d get to lay wi’ you again. Whether I’d get to see you properly. I hoped...and prayed...that it wouldna be the last as well as the first time.”

“And it wasn’t.” She whispered in return.

Without further preamble he shifted himself, his lips caressing her until he felt the arc of her breast. He could feel the warmth of her already encasing him as he shifted his hips further and it wasn’t long before desire rushed around them, the air in the room growing heated as they moved together, as one.

Deep pants filled the room, their ragged breathing disguising the creeks of the bed as they met, quietly, over and over again. Neither being experienced, Jamie didn’t recognise the signs (nor did Claire at first) until her fingers began to dig painfully into the skin just above his elbows, her breath coming thick and fast as she tried to inhale as much oxygen as possible before throwing her head back and biting her lip. Her felt her then, the inside of her gripping him so very tightly as he followed her into the abyss,

Jamie awoke from his self-contained bliss after a brief moment, his whole body delightfully drained of energy as he blinked sleepily up at Claire. She seemed in a similar state, her moist hands cupping his arse as he pulled her against his chest.

“That willna be, either. No’ if I have anything to do with it.” He sighed, drawing the covers up once more as he closed his eyes, their hearts beating directly next to one another as they fell back into a dreamless sleep.

[nerdygaymormon]

Gospel Topic Essays

In 2013 & 2014, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints released a series of essays that address a number of question and criticisms. These essays have been approved by the First Presidency and Quorum of 12 Apostles. The stated reason for the essays is gathering accurate information and making it available.

I added a few thoughts in italics

Are Mormons Christian - Members of the Church believe in and teach of Christ, but they don’t believe in the post-New Testament Creeds, and have scriptures in addition to the Bible. The LDS Church also is not a direct descendant of an existing Christian church.

What Mormons mean by the word “Christian” is different than the rest of Christianity. Mormons are Christian in that they believe Jesus was the Messiah and redeemer of the world.

Becoming Like God -  Since people are the spirit children of God, we have the potential to develop and grow to become like God. The essay includes some Bible verses to support this teaching, but most of the world interprets them differently.

The essay leaves out Bible verses that would seem to contradict this teaching. The Bible, at best, is mixed. There aren’t any verses from the Book of Mormon included because this concept is absent from that book.  

God was once like humans are now. And people can become gods. We teach God is married, so there are godly roles for both men & women. Does this make us polytheists? Yes, in that there are many gods, but really no because we only worship our Heavenly Father and will continue doing so even when we become gods ourselves.

How does someone become like God? It’s the covenant path we hear so much about. Baptism, Melchizedek Priesthood (if you’re male), temple endowment, sealed to a spouse, obey temple covenants.

Sounds pretty good, except...

What about if your spouse or children are unworthy? If you’re gay? If you get divorced? A widowed husband gets married & sealed to a 2nd wife, what if the 1st wife isn’t into polygamy?

Book of Mormon and DNA Studies - The purpose of the Book of Mormon is spiritual, not historical. There’s no DNA evidence to confirm that Middle Eastern people came to the Americas prior to Christopher Columbus. This essay goes through many possible excuses for why no DNA of the Jaredites, Nephites or Lamanites has yet been found in the Americas.

The introduction page to the Book of Mormon used to say that the Jaredites & Nephites were destroyed, leaving the Lamanites who are "the principal ancestors of the American Indians.” DNA evidence forced a change, it now says, Lamanites are “among” the ancestors of the American Indians.

Book of Mormon Translation - Joseph placed either the interpreters (Urim & Thummim) or his seer stone in a hat, pressed his face into the hat to block out light, and read aloud the English words that appeared. He dictated the words, not punctuation, to the scribes. The scribes wrote their own punctuation and that is what was printed. Most changes in the Book of Mormon have involved punctuation and creating verses & chapters.

It’s not a “translation” in the usual sense of that word. An examination of the characters on the plate wasn’t typically involved (despite much of the artwork that suggests otherwise), in fact, the plates often weren’t visible. There’s no way to test the accuracy of the translation.

Also, some other changes beyond punctuation and creating chapters/verses has taken place, like having some of the more racist language toned down.

First Vision Accounts - Joseph had a vision (not necessarily an actual visitation) in which 2 heavenly beings appeared to him.

Joseph published 2 accounts of this vision during his lifetime. Two additional accounts (from his autobiography and from a journal) have been found and published in the 1960′s. There are also 5 descriptions of Joseph Smith’s vision recorded by others who heard Joseph speak about the vision.

That makes 9 different accounts, and there are some differences between them. The essay explains that different accounts emphasize different details. Memories fade over time and things get remembered differently.

There is a generally consistent theme across the different versions, but the first written account comes many years after the vision is supposed to have occurred, which makes me wonder how accurate or reliable it is.

Joseph Smith’s Teachings about Priesthood, Temple and Women - During the 19th century, women frequently blessed the sick by a prayer of faith, and many women received priesthood blessings promising that they would have the gift of healing. In reference to these healing blessings, Relief Society general president Eliza R. Snow explained in 1883, "Women can administer in the name of JESUS, but not by virtue of the Priesthood."

That’s because the priesthood was new & fresh, but understanding changed as Joseph Smith received more revelations. 

I think they stuck to Joseph Smith’s teachings so they wouldn’t have to go into the misogynistic teachings of Brigham Young or Spencer Kimball. At the time of Joseph’s death, women were still doing healings & had control of the Relief Society.

Priesthood power is given to women in the temple as part of the endowment ceremony. When a couple is sealed in the temple, together they enter into an order of the priesthood. Women can officiate in the priesthood in ordinances for other women. Women can officiate when only women are getting the ordinance, when it is for men & women then the men are in charge.

Women and the Priesthood today - well, they still can do stuff in the temple.

Mother in Heaven - The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints teaches that all human beings, male and female, are beloved spirit children of heavenly parents, a Heavenly Father and a Heavenly Mother. This understanding is rooted in scriptural and prophetic teachings about the nature of God, and the godly potential of men and women. The doctrine of a Heavenly Mother is a cherished and distinctive belief among Latter-day Saints.

According to things taught through most of church history, this essay could have been titled Mothers in Heaven. We each have a mother & father in heaven, we each have the same father but there could be many different mothers in heaven. Good old polygamy, interwoven into our theology.

6 paragraphs, that’s all? Shouldn’t we know more? What is heaven like for women?

Peace in Violence among 19th-Century Latter-day Saints - The Latter-day Saints were persecuted, often violently, for their beliefs. Several incidents are discussed.

Well, to be accurate, it was more for their actions than their beliefs. We weren’t exactly great neighbors to non-members of the church.

And, tragically, some Church members participated in deplorable violence against people they perceived to be their enemies. Joseph Smith had the Danites, and a stake president ordered the Mountain Meadows Massacre.

Brigham Young taught that some sins were serious enough that the person should be killed as part of forgiveness process (blood atonement).

The early Mormons had many threats and violence done against them, and they also did the same to others. It was a rough time.

Imagine all the things said & done against the LGBTQ+ community by the Church--denying they exist, electro-shock therapy, advocating for laws to limit & take away their rights. In a real sense the church isn’t a good neighbor to this group. In an earlier time, this might get settled via guns and violence.

 Plural Marriage in Kirtland and Nauvoo - God commanded people in ancient Israel to have polygamous marriages. As part of the restoration of all things, God commanded Joseph Smith to introduce polygamy.

The verses cited just indicate that polygamy was practiced in Old Testament times, not that God commanded anyone to have such marriages. 

Joseph really didn’t want to do it (or worried about how his wife Emma would react), so God had to send an angel 3 times between 1834 and 1842 to command him to proceed with plural marriage. During the final appearance, the angel came with a drawn sword, threatening Joseph with destruction unless he went forward and obeyed the commandment fully. 

The concept of polygamy was part of the revelation on eternal marriage and is how to be exalted with God.

The essay says there wasn’t much instruction on how to do polygamy, I think this is meant to suggest that mistakes happened because people didn’t know better. D&C 132 does have a number of instructions, some of which were ignored. Such as the 1st wife had to give permission for any additional wife, and the additional wives each have to be virgins. 

Joseph kept most of his marriages secret from Emma, and he married other men’s wives who most assuredly weren’t virgins. 

Joseph had 30-40 wives. His oldest wife was 56 and the youngest was 14. 

Polygamy was illegal. Most people who participated were told to keep it secret. Also important for married women to keep it a secret from their first husband. Rumors spread and so “carefully worded denials” were issued in which they’d switch one word, or change the meaning of a word. Basically it looks like they were lying because it would mean trouble.

Wilford Woodruff issued a manifesto in 1890 which led to the end of polygamy (eventually...it took a second manifesto in 1904 to end it officially). 

A form of polygamy still survives. Men who remarry may be sealed to their additional wives. People can do temple work to seal women who were married to more than one man during their lifetimes but not sealed to them. Only men are allowed to be sealed to more than one person whilst alive.  

Plural Marriage and Families in early Utah -  Church members do not understand the purposes for instituting the practice of plural marriage during the 19th century. The essay heavily suggests that having a lot of children was a primary purpose. 

Footnote 6 says “Studies have shown that monogamous women bore more children per wife than did polygamous wives except the first.” In all likelihood, polygamy led to fewer children than probably would have been born in a monogamous society

Accounts left by men and women who practiced plural marriage attest to the challenges and difficulties they experienced, such as financial difficulty, interpersonal strife, and some wives’ longing for the sustained companionship of their husbands. Virtually all of those practicing it in the earliest years had to overcome their own prejudice against plural marriage and adjust to life in polygamous families. 

Few would have entered into plural marriages if leaders didn’t emphasize that polygamy was required for a man’s highest exaltation in the life to come, and women who refused plural marriage could find themselves single & a servant in heaven. Polygamous wives were so unhappy that Brigham Young eventually gave an ultimatum, 2 weeks to freely leave the territory or stop whining and fully live their religion. 

Plural marriage was an illegal practice and members engaged in civil disobedience against such laws. In direct violation of the 12th Article of Faith

The essay shows Mormon polygamy in a very favorable light.

The Manifesto and the End of Plural Marriage - Polygamous marriage was illegal in the United States and the LDS Church fled to Mexico but the United States took the territory they were fleeing to. The Church felt that polygamy was protected under the Constitution’s freedom of religion but the Supreme Court disagreed. 

Given the importance polygamy to the church’s beliefs about heaven, the members were encouraged to disregard the law and obey God. After 2 decades of increasing troubles, many polygamous families headed to Canada or Mexico to escape US justice (nevermind polygamy was just as illegal in those countries).

When the US Supreme Court upheld the legality of confiscating church property, this could mean that temple ordinances would end when those buildings are seized. Wilford Woodruff issued the Manifesto to ban polygamy in 1890. This calmed things with the US government and within 3 years Utah was admitted as a state. 

Members continued entering into new plural marriages for about 15 more years, but in declining numbers. In 1899 the newly-elected senator from Utah was not allowed to take his seat in Congress because he had 3 wives, including one he married after the manifesto. When an apostle was elected in 1903, he also was not allowed to take his seat as an investigation took place into the church & polygamy, even church president Joseph F. Smith testified before Congress. 

President Smith testified that the Manifesto removed God’s commandment on the church to practice polygamy, but didn’t forbid individuals from choosing to continue to be polygamous.  He issued a Second Manifest at the April General Conference forbidding members from entering new polygamous marriages. 

Race and the Priesthood -  The Church was established in 1830, many people of African descent in the United States lived in slavery, and racial prejudice were believed by most white Americans. 

From the mid-1800s until 1978—the Church did not ordain men of black African descent to its priesthood or allow black men or women to participate in temple endowment or sealing ordinances.

This is true, but one would hope a church which claims revelation through prophets would be able to overcome cultural norms that aren’t in line with the gospel. 

Church leaders taught many things to explain the ban, and today, all of that is rejected by the church and considered error. These weren’t just teachings, they were doctrines. And the Book of Mormon and Book of Abraham were used to justify bigotry, such as stating that the curse of Cain was a dark skin.

International expansion of the church, especially in Brazil, forced the church into difficult situations. The Church in the USA was also under heavy pressure for the priesthood restrictions. 

Church president Spencer W. Kimball spent many hours praying for revelation to undo the priesthood ban. The essay makes it sound like some big revelation was received, but it wasn’t that way. It was a process, a statement drafted and changes made to it and voted on. 

Today, the Church disavows all teachings that teach any race or ethnicity if inferior in any way, or that mixed-race marriages are wrong. Church leaders unequivocally condemn all racism.

No reason for the priesthood ban is put forward in this article other than racism. The past leaders were racists and that blinded them to what God wanted for black people. There’s a big lesson in that. 

Translation and Historicity of the Book of Abraham -  The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints embraces the book of Abraham as scripture.

A traveling salesman sold several Egyptian papyri and mummies to Joseph Smith. He was excited to learn one papyrus was scripture from Abraham and set to translating it. 

After the church left Nauvoo, Joseph’s family sold the Egyptian artifacts and they eventually ended up in the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City. In 1967, the museum transferred these fragments to the Church.

Discovery of the papyri allowed an examination of Joseph Smith’s translation.  Mormon and non-Mormon Egyptologists agree that the characters on the fragments do not match the translation given in the book of Abraham. 

Joseph’s translation was not a literal rendering of the papyri as a conventional translation would be. Rather, the physical artifacts provided an occasion for meditation, reflection, and revelation. They catalyzed a process whereby God gave to Joseph Smith a revelation about the life of Abraham, even if that revelation did not directly correlate to the characters on the papyri.

The essay mostly tries to explain how it is possible for Joseph Smith to have called the process for bringing forth the book of Abraham a "translation" when it is obvious that it was not a translation of the Egyptian papyri in his possession

[wolfpawn]

I Hate You, I Love You, Chapter 60

Chapter Summary - The Hiddleston's deal with Emma's words to Danielle before Christmas, but Danielle pleads with them to drop it.

When Tom and Danielle get talking, they discuss matters that require Luke's input, which quickly leads to Tom begging her for something.

Previous Chapter

Rating - Mature (some chapters contain smut)

Triggers - references to Tom Hiddleston’s work with the #MeToo Movement. That chapter will be tagged accordingly.

authors Note - I have been working on this for the last 3 years, it is currently 180+ chapters long.  This will be updated daily, so long as I can get time to do so, obviously

tags: @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog​ @jessibelle-nerdy-mum​ @nonsensicalobsessions​ @damalseer​ @hiddlesbitch1​ @winterisakiller​ @fairlightswiftly​ @salempoe​ @lys-syl @youcantcatchafallingstar

If you wish to be tagged, please let me know.

Tom and Danielle walked over to Diana’s with Danielle still in her nightwear and Tom in the jeans and hoodie he went to the shops in. As soon as they entered the house, the thick atmosphere was the first thing they noticed.

“Right, first things first, Yakov, get your daughter and go to mine,” Danielle ordered, Yakov nodded and rushed upstairs to get his daughter out of the horrible atmosphere. “Ready?” She asked, looking to Tom.

“For what, Emma deserves this.”

“Tom, no good comes from holding grudges, I told you that after everything with Taylor, now, she is your sister, and this is all out now so we move on.”

Tom did not seem so sure but nodded in agreement in the end. “Fine.” He conceded grudgingly as they made their way into Diana’s kitchen.

Inside, Sarah and Diana stood at one side of the room while Emma and Jack stood on the other, the older Hiddleston women glaring at the younger, her husband looking almost ashamed next to her. When Tom and Danielle entered, Sarah and Diana immediately looked to them.

“Is what I heard true Tom?” Sarah demanded as soon as Danielle closed the door. “Well?”

“Sarah…”

“I’ve sent Yakov over to mine with the Duchess, it’s not healthy to have her hear this.” Danielle began, the other adults looked somewhat ashamed. “The other day, Emma was slightly annoyed and tried to extend something of an olive branch to me, but I had just gotten out of bed and was wearing Tom’s shirt, she saw that and got pissed off again leading her to say that she wanted me to back off, she had lost time with her brother of late and I was to give her time with him and the family, I did so, resulting in my less than fine moment of fracturing my wrist, but since then she has apologised to myself and Tom and we have to her and have tried to get passed everything that happened, so please, can we continue to do that?”

“She...she actually told you to back off from us, wait, is that why you didn’t ring to say you were in fucking hospital.”

“Sarah.” Diana chastised.

“Mum, you are worried about my language right now?”

“Look, Emma felt betrayed, you and she both know, hell, even Diana knows that people have become obsessed with using you guys to get to Tom, and well, can you blame her for getting pissed off with me? I was supposed to be her friend and next thing she knows, I am dating her brother, it’s not exactly nice. So her anger is somewhat understandable, as is Tom’s for how she has acted when all he wants is for everyone to be happy.”

“So those two are arguing and you are not mad at Emma?” Sarah asked in disbelief.

“No, I’m not, she is my best friend, and recently I haven’t had a lot of time to show her how much I actually care for her as my best friend and I should have, I’m sorry.” She looked at Emma as she spoke. “I really miss you.”

Emma swallowed and her eyes darted around. “I…” But she said no more.

“It’s done, please everyone, can we not argue about it, Em’s sorry, Tom and I are sorry, and all I was is my breakfast which is going cold for no reason because we are all arguing over a non-issue.”

“She never even got you a present, that is how petty she got, and you are not getting pissed off?” Sarah questioned.

“So what? I got enough this year, seriously, the only thing she needs to give me is a chance to prove I wasn’t using her to get to Tom.”

“You realise for the youngest person here, you’re the most mature one.” Diana smiled fondly looking at her.

“Obviously, I’m Irish,” She tossed her hair dramatically as she spoke before looking over at Jack and smiling “The good kind of Irish.”

“Ha-ha, forever with the jokes, Galway Girl.”

“You know the real one was actually red haired, but it didn’t match the song,” Danielle informed him.

As though the tension had finally gotten too much, Emma burst out laughing, “Why do you know this?”

“You know I know way too much stupid information, that;s why you are always trying to get me to do Table Quizzes with you.”

“You know about American football.”

“I used work nights, there are no other sports on at four am but basketball and American football, you learn fairly quick.” She shrugged. “Came in handy, got me a job next summer with a company from the States because I was able to know who Tom Brady was, and not just that he is married to Gisele Bun-whatever her name is, supermodel lady.”

“That got you a job?” Sarah asked in shock.

“Studio people are stuck around each other for stupid amounts of hours a day, they want people they can talk to, converse with, I clearly just said the right things.”

“Wait, when are you going to America?”

“May or June, I can’t remember, the contract signing is in March.” She dismissed before looking back at him, “Why?”

“I just didn’t…”

“Are you upset I’ll be going away for a few weeks?” She asked with a knowing smile. “Well, who knows, maybe if you’re not busy you can come.”

“It’s weird being the one that will be left behind,” Tom commented.

“We will have to do so from time to time. Now, are we all calm and back to normal?” She asked, looking around; everyone nodded, though she knew they were all still quite awkward with one another. “Fine, I’m getting breakfast, it has been a fairly weird morning.” She stated, much to the confusion of everyone but Tom before towards the back door. “I feel like trash, I am walking around in my pyjamas, I swear, if today is the day the leeches try to get a new pic of Tom, I am going to die of embarrassment.” She growled as she left.

Diana and his sisters looked to Tom for an explanation but all Tom could do is chuckle and shrug before looking to Emma, his face becoming serious again. “On a serious note, she really does want to fix things between you. She is the one fighting for everything to go back the way it was, remember that.” He stated before following her back to her house.

*

“Elle?”

“Bedroom.”

“You changed your study/office.”

“I know, I was going to start studying for a few days while I was home, but I guess I’ll be having to pack it all for London now.” She smiled. “Actually, that’s why I’m in here, I am going to need more than a week’s worth of undies and t-shirts.”

“Well, I have a new suitcase that can help.” He grinned, wrapping his arms around her waist. “I am actually looking forward to this.”

Really?” She turned her head toward him slightly.

“Yes, having you to myself.”

“You had me to yourself before now.”

“But you were working too much.”

“I still have to work,” She reminded him.

“As do I, but we’ll make time, won’t me, to just watch a film?”

“Get a takeaway, perhaps Netflix and Chill.” She smiled turning to look at him. “Maybe even go for a walk in the fresh air, together.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, probably away from the city first, then when we are found out, in the park.”

Tom kissed her passionately. “I cannot tell you how much I want that.”

“Good, we also have to talk to Luke about our plan, regarding the picture and that.”

“I’ll text him in a minute, we can organise something then, but I think he will like it.”

“Text him now, no procrastinating, call if you can.” She ordered.

“Yes, Ma’am.” He gave her a military salute as he did so and took out his phone, and got up Luke’s number. “Hello Luke, how was your Christmas?”

“Tom, what’s happened?” Luke’s voice was fearful down the phone.

“Nothing.” Tom rolled his eyes, “Wait, you never used to answer the phone to me like that before.”

“I used never have to worry about you and publicity tramps before.”

Danielle frowned next to Tom. “Hang on, are you talking about Danielle?” Tom began to get annoyed.

“Tom, the only controversial thing about Ms Hughes is what way to spell her first name, she is a publicist’s wet dream in comparison to others,” Luke growled.

“So why bring up others?”

“Because I am terrified that you’re about to tell me something regarding said others.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Well then, my Christmas was quite pleasurable, though I think I may never be able to look at poultry again and I may need new pants, these seem tight,” Tom chuckled. “Though I doubt this is a friendly call, so what is it?”

“Elle and I were talking.”

“And?” There was apprehension in Luke’s voice.

“About when it is found out that we are together.” Luke remained silent on the phone. “Danielle came up with an idea and I wanted to run it by you.”

“I’m listening.”

“If we find out someone has spotted us and put it online, we immediately release a photo and statement giving the basic details, her name, where’s she from, and some other tidbits that we want to be known, and if it gets as long as we can, we want to release the information ourselves a few weeks before a wedding or something so the hubbub will die down beforehand.”

“That is brilliant.” Luke was chuckling.

“So you like it?”

“I do, I think it is genius.”

“She wanted to have some control in it, she knows they will snoop regardless, but it gives her some power.”

“It makes sense.” Luke acknowledged. “I am not going to lie, Tom, people are going to go for her no matter how this comes out, some good, plenty bad, but if she remains stoic in public, if they don’t smell blood, they tend to get bored very quickly.”

“She’s nodding here next to me, she knows.”

“Well then, I suggest getting together what you want as the official line and we will keep it ready.” Luke’s smile was blatant down the phone. “This is, without a doubt, far saner Tom, honestly. She...I think she is what you’ve been so sure you could not find, so don’t be an idiot and look after this, right?”

“Okay, I hear you.” Tom grinned.

“There is one thing I am concerned for, though, her home, is it safe? I mean is it properly secured, has she a high wall and gates on it?”

Tom thought it an odd question. “She has a basic wall, about five foot or so at the front and no gate.”

“She’s going to have to get it more secured, they are not supposed to enter her property, but let’s face it, Pap’s are bottom feeders,” Luke explained.

Tom looked to the side where Elle was chewing on her bottom lip apprehensively. “Okay, we’ll get on that.” He informed Luke. “But for the time being, she is going to be in London with me, she wants to study more and her work is based in London studio’s for the new few months.”

“Well, all things considered, that is actually safer for her, but it heightens the risk of you being seen together.”

“Hence the phone call.”

“So long as you are both aware this could erupt at any time and as long as you are both prepared for that, then send on everything you wish to be publicised and I will have it ready to go at the first sign of a story,” Luke instructed.

“Will do, thanks, Luke.”

“Anytime, I also am going to need Ms Hughes’ phone number, and give her mine, if she has any issue…”

“Of course, right away.” Tom agreed.

“Then enjoy your holidays and I will see you on New Years?”

“I said I would be there.”

“And Ms Hughes?”

“Her name is Danielle, Luke, you are going to have to start calling her by it, and I will extend the invitation, should she wish to go.”

“Good, well, have a nice day Tom.”

“You too.” Tom smiled as he hung up the phone. “Luke is having a get together for clients and friends on New Years, I promised weeks ago I would go if you’d rather stay home…”

“Where is it on?”

“Private venue, no outsiders, no photographers, underground carpark so little risk of them.”

Danielle thought for a moment before walking over to her wardrobe and looking at its contents. “I think I don’t have anything for something like that,” she frowned.

Tom walked over, and as Emma had said, right at the back were a few outfits he had never thought Danielle would wear, much less own. “Darling, I know I am sounding pushy, but I am imploring you, please,” He got on his knees as though adding dramatic effect, “Please wear this to the party.” He pointed to a dress that still had tags on it.

“Oh, Jesus, that thing.” she groaned looking at it. “I have no idea what was going through my mind buying that, I could never…”

“Darling, I am begging you, you will look ravishing in it.” His eyes glinted with honesty and arousal.

Danielle looked between him and the dress anxiously. “Okay.”

Tom rose to his feet again, an elated smile on his face. “I mean it, Elle, you will look even more gorgeous than normal, which, in itself, is a difficult feat.” He grinned. “It is classy and sexy.”

“My boobs are going to be showing.”

“Showing, but not hanging out,” Tom pointed out, before grinning wickedly. “And you already know my thoughts of these delicious assets of yours.” He cupped her breasts and bit his lip.

“Insatiable.”

“That’s Mister Insatiable to you, my love.”

[avidfanficwriter]

The Other Sister (Chapter 1)

Characters: Steve Rogers(AU!) x OFC.

Summary: After five years of marriage, Steve Rogers finds himself questioning everything that his wife, Annabel has ever told him thanks to the impromptu visit by her troubled younger sister: Addison; whose existence he’s just learned about fives years prior. His only question now is: who verison is the truth? His loving wife? Or the troubled sister? 

Ratings: M.

Warnings: Mentions/indications of depression, mentions of sexual abuse, indication of mental abuse, drug abuse, alcohol abuse. (Warnings will be updated as chapters come)

Authors Note: It’s not gonna be pretty. I’m sorry for the you know, skipping out on everyone and neglecting my blog. I’m better than that, you know that. I know that but I’m trying. Believe in me. :)

Chapter 1. Chapter 2. 

There's a scene in dramatic movies that always seem to be shot in the same way, a simple setting, two people, one is nervous while the other is calm.  The person who is lucky enough to be calm eventually notices the odd behaviors from the other and questions it. They're given a jaw-droppingly shocking statement. The kind that makes them choke on their drink or forget how to breathe. At first, they don't know how to react. It's a pot full of emotions, anger, sadness, annoyance or worst-case scenario disgust. They question how they are going to get over it or understand it.

That moment of being unclear how to continue is how Steve felt right now, only instead of just a flurry of emotions, there's a nauseous feeling pooling in the pit of his stomach.

"-ay for a while." He doesn't have the faintest idea what his wife is saying now, after the first few words she spoke, he's blacked out the rest. It takes a few moments to gather himself, followed by another to convince himself he won't vomit. "One more time..." he asks.

His wife, Annabel Shaw-Rogers cocks her head at her husband. "I said Addison needs a place to stay for a while." He nods. "I told her no but she was insistent on it, something about doctors orders. She's probably just got out of rehab again. Once a junkie always a junkie." She trails off in annoyance.

All Steve can do is nod in response, he's chewing on his bottom lip trying to not scream. "The sister who was in and out of jail the last few years?"

"Uh-huh."

Another nod. "The sister who pops drugs like they're candy?"

"Uh-huh."

He clears his throat and rests his hands on the counter, staring at the wall ahead of him. "The one you don't hear from unless she needs something?"

Annabel chuckles and walks towards her husband of five years, she reaches out to him, wrapping her tanned arms around his waist. "Baby, I only have one sister. All of the horror stories you are about to ask are indeed about her." She takes a moment to rub a calming hand down his chest. "She's going to have to stay here if not, she'll never let that be the end of it." The sentence is ended with a loving kiss on his cheek and she leans into his body, trying to use her affection as an apology for the cards they have been dealt. For Steve, it'll take far more than a simple kiss and hug to rid the horrid taste in his mouth. She'll invade their privacy, ruin their home, invade the wholesome environment they have. Her drug-diseased handcuff ridden hands would be all over his home, infecting it. The air would be toxic, everything would have to be replaced, their home would need to be replaced.

A new home, new furniture, new clothes. He'd be out of money by this time next year.

If that wasn't bad enough, Addison Shaw was trouble with a capital T. The woman had trouble etched in her bones, her blood was filled with negativity. The only way to explain young Addison was everything bad that one person can do, Addison had done and then some. The two sisters were miles apart, Annabel was beautiful, sweet and brilliant while Addison was problematic, untrustworthy and downright awful.

They were cut from two different strands, good and bad. To Steve, part of it would have made sense if one of them was bad if their daddy had a criminal history or even mommy but both parents were normal, average. Met in college, fell madly in love. Their mother was a stay at home mom, dad was a banker. They stayed out of trouble, minded their business, went to church on Sundays and said their prayers before bed. They were loving parents to beautiful girls, Annabel, their oldest, his wife. A dirty blonde haired girl who had dreams of being a singer. Their youngest, Addison was a brunette with-how he remembers hearing their mother describe as-big beautiful hazel eyes with the tiniest hints of green. There were no hopes or dreams used to describe her, no happy or cute memories that followed after any mention of her. It was always just Addison and then silence.

The idea of Addison... staying there in his home, ruining the atmosphere. Forcing he and Annabel to live on edge to accommodate her. It wasn't fair and it wasn't right. However, this was his wife, the love of his life. He couldn't say no if she had already said yes. She had to be dealing with far more issues than his own, this couldn't have been easy on her.

"How long?" He finally asks with a deep sigh.

It takes her a while to answer which scares him, "A few weeks." That's an arrow straight in his heart. He's already envisioning his gravestone, 'Steven Grant Rogers. Died from: sudden cardiac arrest brought on by wife's junkie sister.'

"Fine..." He says with another sigh. "But she doesn't stay in the house."

"Where are we going to put her, baby? The doghouse?"

Steve smiles. "If we had a doghouse, that wouldn't be nice enough for her."

Annabel agrees, pulling her arms from Steve. "Where then?"

"The guest house."

"It's not finished with the remodel."

"The kitchen is the only part left, the room, living room, and bathroom are done. She can survive with half a kitchen." He remarks.

"Just means she'll have to be here when she wants to eat."

Steve wanted to strangle her, probably the only time on this earth that he had the urge to do so. A day he could handle, maybe two but an unspecified amount of weeks was hell on earth. Hell, literary, as if they had taken a one-way ticket to the bottom of Satan's ass. "I'll get the contractor to finish the kitchen within the week, pay him double if I have too."

The contractor comes as planned and is less than happy about the sudden change, "In a week? My guys are gonna be workin' double time."

"I know, I get it. I'll pay you double-triple what you were getting. I just need this done by Monday." With a heavy sigh, the contractor agreed, apologizing ahead of time for the noise they would soon be faced with.

They had noise and he was having nightmares, a horrible combination. Steve was on the brink of losing his sanity and the worst had yet to come. The impending doom of Addison's arrival was rapidly approaching. Each time he closed his eyes, it was followed by a possible outcome of Addison living with them. In one, she burnt down the house another threw a rager when they went out to dinner and the worst was her overdosing in their kitchen. Her arrival was eating him up.

"Addison is aware we are gonna have rules?" Steve asks over dinner one night, over the sound power tools echoing through the home.

"I'm sure." Annabel nods, chewing her food and staring at her cell phone.

"Are we going to have to hide all the medicine?"

Annabel drags her eyes from her facebook feed to stare at Steve blankly. "I hadn't thought about that." She clears her throat. "Probably. She'll probably wind up overdosing on cold medicine." The tone of her voice is full of malice and humor.

It was crude place in time now that Steve found himself chuckling at the statement, instead of being overtaken with disgust. He always saw the best in people, believed that everyone deserves a second (Or more) chance. He extended olive branches, forgave the unforgivable, he was the embodiment of a good guy but times had changed. "You're okay with this, right?" Annabel asks in a small voice.

"Of course." He lies.

"Steve, are you really?"

He exhales deeply, "Baby, she's your sister."

"Only by blood." She remarks. "Trust me, If you could change your genetics, I would be first in line." There's not a hint of humor in her voice, she truly would. As depressing as it sounded, Annabel was ashamed to admit she had a sister almost as much as her parents were to say they had two daughters. He remembers taking Annabel on their first date, they talked about their families, there was never a hint that she had a sister. Annabel had spun a web that led him to believe she was an only child.  

In fact, Annabel never spoke about her, nor did her parents; it was like she never existed. It wasn't until their wedding that Addison dropped the bombshell of having a sister that left Steve speechless. It was nearly the end of their romance. "You have a sister and you just what? Forget to tell me about her?" He shouted in anger, slamming the front door behind him as he stomped into their new house. "We've been together for three years! Are those even your actual parents or are you waiting to introduce me to the real ones in another three years?"

Annabel turned to face him, sighing and running a hand through her hair. "Steve, calm down." She pleads.

"Don't tell me to calm down, you've been lying to me for three years."

"I wasn't lying, I just didn't tell you about her."

He groans, "That's the same damn thing." He heads to the kitchen, grabbing a beer from the fridge and quickly gulping it down. The only way he can think to calm his nerves is drinking alcohol also another way to keep his mouth busy instead of shouting.

"Listen, Steve..." He ignores the next thing out of her mouth, pleas spill from her red-tinted lips about their upcoming wedding, 'it's only a month away', 'we can't call it off now! What am I going to tell my parents?'. Excuse after excuse yet she avoids the topic at hand. Her sister, a sister that she never once spoke about. That her parents never spoke about. Their family album had no pictures of another child, the pictures littered through their home was void of this mystery sister.

"Why?" He asks, refusing to divulge into talk about their wedding, one mention of it and that would be all she'd focus on. He feels betrayed and used. He starts to question everything she's ever told him, even questions the validity of their relationship. "H-how.... how does someone lie about having a sibling?"

"It's complicated."

Steve's eyes go wide and he leans in, chuckling. "Complicated?" he questions, setting his beer down on the counter in front of him. "Hey, Steve, I have a sister. Yeah, her name is Mary, she's nineteen; lives in Alabama, don't see her much. How is that complicated?"

Annabel sets her purse down on the counter in front of Steve, sighing heavily. "Okay... I was going to tell you, I planned on telling you but it just... isn't easy." She closes her eyes and swallows deeply, he notices her hands, she's squeezing her fingers. "We don't talk about her."

"We?"

"My parents, me; my family." Annabel lets out a nervous chuckle, realizing for the first time in years, she's confessing what is suppose to be a lifelong secret. "Her name is Addison and she's twenty-seven years old and... I don't know where she's living, I ran into her in Miami on the girls trip a few months back but I don't know where she's at right now, I haven't since she was sixteen."

It's even worse than Steve expected, however, he's not entirely sure what he expected. "What do you mean since she was sixteen? If she's twenty-seven now that means you're only two years apart." Annabel nods, ashamed. "What does that even mean?"

Annabel can hardly stand the look of confusion on her husband's face. There's no stopping now, she had to continue for both of their sakes. "You need to understand she put my parents through hell. She was horrible, a bad kid, beyond bad. She did drugs, threw parties, refused to go to school; refused to come home, drank. Anything she could do, she did. My parents tried, I tried. They sent to her to my uncles to try and help her but she nearly burned his house down." It's as if a weight has lifted off her chest, the lie that she had forced herself to believe is finally free. "She was unfixable. Getting worse as the days went by."

"And you just gave up on her?" Steve questions in an angered tone. "She was a kid!"

"No, we didn't!" She raises her voice, getting insulted by the accusation. "My parents tried like hell but it never worked. She never let it and they couldn't do it anymore, my dad was on the verge of losing his job, mom was having a mental breakdown. One day, my dad had enough he threatened her if she continued, he'd make her leave. She didn't change. The next day, she came home high and he packed her a bag and kicked her out. Called friends and family told them to not let her in."

"How old was she?"

"Sixteen."

"Six-Sixteen? She was sixteen years old?" He questions in shock. "Your father kicked your sixteen-year-old sister out of the house with nowhere to go?" The thought is unimaginable to him, an innocent child out alone in the world, battling the street of California with no one to help her. It made him sick, he could barely look at her.

"It sounds bad, I know."

He nods, chuckling being the only thing he can do that doesn't wind up with them ending their engagement. "I don't think you do."

"I wanted her to come back, I looked for her but I couldn't find her."

It's a lie or a comedy skit, it has to be. It doesn't seem plausible. He's met her parents, her fathers is the sweetest guy in the world, her mother loves with all of her heart. The first time he met her, she demanded a hug and that he comes over every holiday, birthday and Sunday for dinner. The idea that they, everyone's dream parents had kicked a child out of their home. "So, you guys just what? Woke up a few days later and said we only have one daughter. Gee, what a nice day?"

Annabel cocks her head in annoyance, "No, One month of her being gone, turned into three and then it was a year and before we knew it life was so much easier without her around. My parents weren't fighting, I wasn't missing school because of something she did. We didn't have any police around the house, it was just simple. Normal. A happy family." She finally sits down on the bar stool, feeling exhausted. "Eventually we realized anytime we talked about her, my mother got sad and my father was angered. People didn't understand it either when we said what happened and we found it easier to not talk about her. We just pretended she didn't exist."

Steve doesn't understand, he can't even begin to understand. If he had a child, he couldn't imagine turning on them. Casting them out with all dangers in the world that they could succumb to. No matter how horrible they were, he'd never give up on them. He couldn't. It wasn't in his blood. "You never heard from her until a few months ago?"

Annabel nods her head, brushing her hair behind her ear before she begins. Another jog down memory lane that breaks his heart even more.

It was a few years later before her name was spoken again in the Shaw household, they had a phone call in the middle of the night from a detective in Texas, Addy; It softens his heart just for a second when Annabel uses her nickname, it shows she still cares somewhere in there. Addison was found in a cheap, rat and drug infested motel unconscious with signs of sexual assault. It had taken her three days to finally talk to police and another three for her to confess her first name. it was luck or a miracle that they discovered her purse trashed in an alley.

"Do you know how late is it?" Her father, Gregory had shouted into the phone. His voice rough and full of sleep.

"Sir, I apologize for the disruption. This is Detective Amanda White from the Austin Police department, sir, I'm afraid I have some bad news. We've found your daughter, Addison Shaw."

The detective went on to confess the details of the case, Addison refused to talk, claimed it was a misunderstanding. An accident, she fell while getting dressed but all evidence said otherwise. They had found the doer but she refused to press charges and point the finger at him. He shrugged and simply told her, "I only have one daughter." In his mind, Addison had made her bed and whatever path she was on, was her own doing. After that, anything that reminded them of her was gone, pictures, drawings, baby boxes. She was merely a blip in their past. As far as anyone in their lives would know, the Shaw's had one daughter, Annabel.

"My dad didn't care," Annabel says with a look of pain. "my mom nearly died but she would have followed my father to the ends of the earth without second-guessing when he said never mention her, we didn't."

Annabel goes on about running into her baby sister in Miami on her girl trip. Her last trip as an unmarried woman, the last hurrah. It was the hotel she was staying in that she found Addison. Not recognizing her at first, it had been so long since she'd seen her that time had corroded her image.

"Addison?" She questions on a whim to the young girl with brown hair tied in a ponytail and dressed in a hotel uniform. "Addy?" It was her, beyond all belief. Their eyes met and Addison was a deer in headlights. It was an awkward reintroduction, two sisters split by time, coming face to face.

"I'm getting married!" Annabel shouted midway through the conversation, her happiness leaking through. "I want you to be there." The words came out before she had a second to rethink her sentence.

Addison said nothing in response. It was a brief silence and a deep sigh before she answered, in a distant voice with cold eyes. "I hope you have a good wedding."

"No, Addy, I want you there. It's my wedding day and I want my family there, all of my family." Her sister is still silent, staring at her like she's never met her. Which is nearly the truth, they didn't know one another. Other than their names, they were strangers. It had taken some convincing before Addison had responded with, "If time works out, maybe I'll think about coming." Annabel left her phone number with her, asking her one last time before she left "Just come, okay? It'll be fun." She didn't think it would work but this morning when she woke up, there a text message from an unknown phone number that simply read. "When is the wedding again? And where? -Addison." She texted back immediately, eyes still blurred from sleeping and another text arrived a few hours later. "I can come if you still want me too," Annabel responded by sending her the ticket details and saying she couldn't wait to see her again.

"So, she's coming to our wedding?" Steve finally questions, rubbing his eyes and wishing he'd bought more beer.

"Yes."

"And what do your parents think?" He asks.

"I haven't told them and I'm not going to."

"Anna..."

"Steve, it's my day, if I want to invite my sister that is my choice."

"Fine." He agrees, walking around to the counter to engulf her in his arms. The good guy inside of him begins to think it could be the best thing to happen. The family could mend, forget about the past and begin again, Something good could come from their wedding. "This could be a fresh start. A way to move on from the past. A restart." He’s fooling himself with the agreement but his biggest flaw was always wanting to see the best in people, if she wanted her to be there, he would do that for her. For their family. 

[softgothsweetheart]

Colors {Chrysalis}

The rain and wind was harsh and unforgiving as she walked up a path.

What the hell is going on?

Paisley got to where the path ended when she realized she was standing under a lighthouse. But then Lee saw another female and walked slowly to her. There was a giant tornado from what she could see and as she looked around, there wasn’t much else to be seen aside from buildings being completely destroyed. A boat flew from the storm, hitting the lighthouse. Just as Paisley recognized her classmate, she heard the loud groan and they both looked up, the lighthouse was coming down. Paisley shoved her classmate out of harms way just as the lighthouse collapsed on her. As she woke up, she realized she wasn’t in the middle of any storm, she was in class.

Paisley calmed her heartbeat and sighed, deciding that she would have to listen to class. Maybe her uncle giving a lecture would calm her down. Ground her, give her some sense of up and down until she could make sense of the dream.

Was it really a dream if I don’t remember falling asleep?

Paisley watched her uncle Mark lecture the students on Diane Arbus and chiaroscuro, all about photography – something she loved a lot. He’d taught her the beauty of it when she was old enough to hold one and not damage it. Lee knew she was old enough to form her own opinions of people and she – at the young age of 14 – had decided her uncle wasn’t truly who or what he said he was. The night she figured that out, it was too late, her aunt didn’t seem to care either – if she even knew what he did. But Lee was almost positive aunt Prudence knew. Not much too later, the bell rang, and the students were dismissed, only Kate, Max, and queen bee Victoria were left. Kate’s head was down, like she was thinking too hard, like she was overthinking. Lee wanted to believe it wasn’t because of the Vortex club party she’d attended a few weeks back, but she knew that it was. She must’ve remembered bits and pieces; Nathan hadn’t expected her to act out so much whilst under the influence.

Then Paisley stood up and walked over to her uncle who immediately dropped Victoria. She scoffed and glared at the younger girl, “Excuse you Paisley.”

Mark seemed to glare at the tall blonde, a look she didn’t notice. But he intervened before his beloved niece got hurt.

“Excuse you, miss Chase. Paisley is the youngest student here and she is also my niece and assistant.” He turned to her and asked her what she needed.

“Oh—I need to know where to go.”

“Just head out to the diner if need be.” He shrugged; Lee nodded obeying. As she walked away, Max walked almost alongside her but stopped when Mark called her name. Lee continued out of the quiet classroom into the noisy hallway where her fellow classmates were. Kids older than her by at least three years on but were more rambunctious than a room filled with toddlers. She quickly walked the halls, toward the bathroom because the feeling of eyes watching her had suddenly become too much to bear. Paisley had recently begun to experience something abnormal.

It’d happened one day when she was cleaning a camera and elbowed it off the table. The loud crash was heard in the back rooms of the house and her uncle had come rushing out, yelling. When he was coming at her, she held her hands out as if it were going to stop him and everything went backwards until her vision faded and burned at the edges. When Paisley looked behind her, the camera was fully intact and back on the desk. She thought it’d been a trip, but she even threw a rock into the house through a window before rewinding time until before it happened, even throwing her aunt’s phone at her head. The feeling and power had grown stronger, she knew that much.

Paisley’s feet took her into the girls’ bathroom, she holed herself in the last stall, listening to music on her phone as she sat on the toilet. It was a soft song—one of the many Rachel Amber had told her she’d like and gave to her on a playlist. It was sad that she’d no longer see her friend except through the miserable posters she saw around campus. The song was so soft that over the music she heard the door open once more and whispers. For a few minutes, Lee breathed silently and had her music low to listen when the door had opened with a loud smack, some more talking and another thwack. Shadows moved outside, she hadn’t a clue if they knew she was here in hiding. So, she killed the music and removed her headphones.

When Paisley looked down in the stall and to her left, she could see her fellow classmate’s shoes—Max’s to be exact. They weren’t hard to recognize. There was an exchange happening between Nathan and some random girl.

“You’re wrong—that’s my family—not me.”

“Oh, boo hoo, poor little rich kid. I know you’ve been pumpin’ drugs and shit to kids around here… I bet your respectable family would help me out if I went to them. Man, I can see the headlines now.” If this girl knew about the parties and drugs—if Nathan told, then she would die. Especially if she knew who the real culprit behind this was.

“Leave them out of this, bitch.” Nate growled, he wasn’t in the best of moods and she was testing his patience. It was going to get bad no doubt.

Maybe he can reel himself in… C’mon Nate, do what I taught you.

“I can tell everybody Nathan Prescott is a punk ass who begs like a little girl and talks to himself—" Seems the unknown female cut her sentence short, gasping, her shoes scraping against the tiling as she fell back to the wall.

“You don’t know who the fuck I am or who you’re messing around with!” He shouted.

“Where’d you get that? What are you doing? Come on, put that thing down!” She seemed to be begging, Paisley peeked through the cracks and couldn’t see a damn thing except for Nathan’s movements. He growled in rage and she had a frightening thought—

Maybe it’s the gun uncle Mark bought for him! Oh god, no.

“Don’t EVER tell me what to do. I’m so sick of people trying to control me!”

“You’re gonna get in hella more trouble for this than drugs.”

“Nobody would ever even miss your ‘punk ass’ would they?!”  

Is he going to shoot this girl? What would he do with the body? The gun?

“Get that gun away from me psycho!” A loud bang rang out, Max yelled, and Paisley saw her arm stretched out through the cracks before everything rewound. Lee was sat back in class, diagonal to Max who seemed to be alert. More than one time traveler sounded crazier than one did. Class went on, everything the exact same as before, except for Max elbowing her polaroid camera off the table and rewinding it until it was no longer broken. After Max played with her rewind, using Victoria’s answer against her and Mark’s quote against him when he asked her where her photo was, they both left the classroom. Lee pulled her aside where no one could overhear them.

“Stop rewinding, Max, seriously.”

“How did you—” The older female seemed panicked that she knew.

“I can time travel too. Stop using it on nonsense. It won’t work when you truly need it if you don’t.” Paisley didn’t expect Max to listen, but it would have been nice to. They re-entered the bathroom and followed what they had done previously and waited until Nathan had pulled his gun again. Max moved the trolley, picked up the mallet, rewound so the trolley was back and smacked the emergency alarm in the corner. Loud blaring sounds that came were deafening, Nathan had fallen to the floor with a slam as the blue haired female shouted and made her escape. Nathan followed suit and Lee opened the stall and saw Max giving her a look that showed her relief.

They exited the bathroom together, but the security guard promptly stopped them, scolding and interrogating as if they were children and had done something wrong.

“Hey, Madsen, don’t be such a dick. I have familial issues and Max was helping and consoling me.” Paisley glared, and Max tried her best but looked like a small child.

“Miss Christopher—shut your mouth—” Lee scoffed, fake tears springing to her eyes as her hand covered her mouth. Principal Wells intervened and the were glad, but when exiting the building he stopped them.

“You both look stressed out. Are you both okay?”

“Mr. Madsen has serious issues, he just told me to shut up. He interrogated us. Today is such a hard day—it was my mother’s birthday.” Max seemed to be impressed by Paisley’s lying abilities.

“Is that all you’re thinking of? Or have you done something wrong?”

“Are you accusing me of lying, principal Wells?” She questioned, her tears drying up and shooting him an accusing glare.

“I’m sure my uncle informed you that it is in fact my mother’s birthday. I get very sad during this time of year. Max found me in the bathroom and consoled me. So, yes, principal Wells, I am rather stressed.” He must’ve bought it because he nodded and gestured to his office.

“My door is always open to give advice.”

“Thank you so much. It really means a lot.” Paisley nodded, giving a watery relieved smile before pulling Max to the main campus through the doors. The alarm was off but the ringing from it was annoying as all hell. Once they descended the stairs, Max yanked herself loose and it spun Lee around to face her.

“You didn’t tell him about Nathan—”

“Max, you don’t understand what happens if we go down that road. Wells won’t give a shit; he won’t look into it. Then he’ll tell Nathan’s dad who’ll threaten him and tell Nathan. It’ll come back to us.”

“But—shit—you lied so well that Wells bought it!”

“He’s a fucking drunkard, of course he did. Plus, I have tons of experience under my belt that I might as well be an expert.”

“Thanks, I guess… You’re Paisley Christopher, right?”

“Yeah I’m Mark Jefferson’s niece.”

“I didn’t know that, you look super young. How old are you?”

“Fourteen, he made sure I got into the academy.”

“Doesn’t seem like you’re fourteen, you seem older.” A ping from Max’s phone sounded and she instantly checked it, texting.

“It’s Warren, I have to go. I’ll see you later?” Max asked, Paisley nodded and while her classmate went around campus to socialize, she went directly to the dorms where Victoria was sat with her minions. All three annoying plastics. When Paisley tried to pass, Victoria scoffed, sitting up.

“Whoa freak, you don’t even stay in the dorms.” She mocked, pointing out. Paisley rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.

“I mean, don’t move if you wanna crush your chances at the Everyday Heroes contest. I would, especially since I have ways of convincing my uncle.” Lee examined her nails, letting her green eyes flicker to Victoria’s.

“You’re like fucking twelve!” She shouted in displeasure.

“Nice guess, Tori, but I’m fourteen and I don’t screw around. If you want your fair chance to win the contest I’d move.” Victoria rolled her eyes, standing up even as Courtney and Taylor scoffed. They’d told their queen bee not to move a muscle and she had. It made Paisley feel powerful as she went up the steps and into the boys’ dorms.

Paisley entered the dorms, walking down the corridor before turning left and knocking on the first door there;111.

“What?” She heard Nathan’s upset grumbling from behind the door. Lee opened the door and walked in to where Nate was laying on his bed.

“What the fuck do you want?” Paisley closed the door behind her and sat on his couch and tried to get comfortable.

“You, the bathroom. Wanna tell me what the hell you were thinking?”

“The bathroom?” He asked, waving his hand dismissively.

“Your goddamn gun, Nate!” She whispers shouts and he was up and on his feet in an instant, his hand wrapped around her neck loosely. Nathan’s hand squeezed lightly, trying to remind her who was in charge.

“Don’t fucking yell at me, you’re like ten years old.”

“I’m fourteen, Nathan. Don’t play the age card.” She removed his hand and shoved it into his chest.

“He’ll kill us if he finds out.” She reminded him and he groaned.

“You actually want to live with what we’ve done?”

“Can you please take this seriously?” Nathan let out a laugh, devoid of any humor. It answered her question. He collapsed back on his bed and relaxed.

“Where were you in the bathroom?”

“I was hiding in the last stall.” He locked eyes with her and squinted, making sure she wasn’t lying.

“I guess you left the fucking Polaroid then. You gonna join Max on her twee hipster expeditions?”

“That one wasn’t mine, Nate.”

“Then who does it—” He stopped himself short and sat up.

“Max Caulfield. Fan-fucking-tastic! Are you sure she was there?”

“She saw the gun, she almost told Wells too, I had to step in and lie.”

“You only stepped in to cover her ass.”

“Not even, I stepped in because what if Wells begins investigating? You know Mark wouldn’t be happy about it. I convinced her that it was best if she didn’t clash heads with you.”

“Damn right.” Nathan was off his bed and out the door and had Paisley trailing after him, he was in the main campus and in the parking lot in no time at all. Paisley was trying to stop him, pulling on his arm but he yanked out of her grip.

“Max Caulfield, right? You’re one of Jefferson’s photo groupies…” He asked as he approached her.

“I’m one of his students.” Max corrected; Paisley cursed her. Why couldn’t s have just gone along with it?

“Whatthefuckever. I know you like to take pictures, especially when you’re hiding out in bathrooms. You best tell me what you saw. Now!” Nathan demanded, yelling. Paisley braced herself for the worst, she knew it was coming. She shook her head at Warren when he looked to her, Nathan towered over Max. She shouldn’t have told him.

“What are you talking about?”

“I know you’re new here but don’t play dumb with me.”

“I’m not new. I’ve lived here for years.”

“Then you should know the Prescott’s own this shithole.”

“Nate—"

“Then you shouldn’t worry about me… worry about yourself.” He grew angrier, his hands clenching tighter into fists. Max seemed to have a penchant for pissing him off, then again, didn’t everybody?

Nathan was so far gone, lost in his anger and beyond reasoning. If a hand was laid on him, a fight could break out. He was a ticking time bomb.

“Do not analyze me! I pay people for that. Worry about yourself, Max Caulfield.”

“Take a step back, Nathan Prescott.” Max's words have him stepping closer, into her face.

“Oh, man, you’re telling me what to do?” Warren gets in between and as a result, gets headbutted. He falls to the ground, clutching his head. Max shoves Nathan and he turns back to her, his hand gripping her around the neck.

“Nathan!” Paisley shouted, eyeing Warren on the ground.

“Nobody tells me what to do,” he shakes Max, “Not my parents, not the principal, or that whore in the bathroom!” She manages to scrape his cheek and he shoves her to the ground. Lee grabs Nate by his shoulder and he backhands her, and she stumbles as a rusted beige truck drives up. It almost hits Max who immediately stands up and gazes at the driver.

“Chloe?”

“Max?” They hear the driver exclaim.

“No way, you again?” Nathan questions in a growl. Warren stands up and tackles Nathan to the ground.

“Go, go! I got this!” He yells and Max gets in. Paisley looks around and all she can feel is her heart beating in her chest. Nathan pauses hitting Warren and stands up, kicking the car door closed.

“Get your punk asses out of there now! Don’t even try to run! Nobody messes with me! NOBODY!” He shouts as the female from the bathroom pulls away. Paisley watches as the truck gets farther and farther away. Madsen comes over and the teenagers turn towards him.

“You three, Principal Wells’ office. Now.”

“Fuck off old man.” Nathan gives the security guard the finger. Warren stands to his feet and Paisley feels her cheek and looks around between the guys.

“Miss Christopher—move it—”

“Dude I said fuck off! Do you not understand English?” Nate shouted, lighting a cigarette. Madsen grabbed Lee by her bicep, and she tried pulling away, protesting.

“Leave her alone—” Warren said.

“Stay out of this Gayram.” Nathan sneered. Madsen forced them to the Principal’s office, Warren with an ice pack, Nathan with a bandage where the scratches were, and Paisley who had makeup on hand to cover the forming bruise.

“Would either of you three care to explain?” Wells asked, each of them looked at each other. The boys not bothering to mask their disdain for each other.

“Nathan started this.” The younger boy spoke up. The older boy raised his eyebrows and leaned forward, giving him the finger, which Wells didn’t even bother to comment on. Warren gave a mocking face and Nathan almost smacked him from behind Paisley when Wells scolded him. Warren and Paisley argued until it became too loud and they all silenced at Wells’ yelling. Nathan made half assed comments and left the office, not bothering to close the door behind him.

“We done here? Cause I’m leaving too.” Warren stormed out in a slightly less aggressive fashion and Paisley secured her bag as she stood up.

“Want to explain miss Christopher? It seems like the most trouble you’ve caused, and the week is only beginning.” He asked, leaning over his desk. Paisley shrugged.

“I’m just unlucky. Bad timing is all.” She chalked it up, leaving the room as she heard him sigh behind her. She exited the school and what ever students were left from earlier whispered and eyed her. First time she’d taken it in stride, she’d made it to the campus exit when she received two messages at the same time from two very different people.

UNKNOWN > You just wait until I see you later.

Warren > How could you defend such an asshole? He hit you!

Not a good end to any day, this meant bad news. When she met her uncle in the parking lot, he didn’t look pleased in the least. Paisley got in the car, no protesting and he climbed in the driver’s side. The whole ride home, he expressed his disappointment calmly. Most likely he’d get angrier at home where she could receive her punishment.

They arrived but when she slowly went to hide but failed, he caught her by her lengthy brown hair, yanking her downwards until her knees hit the laminate.

“I wasn’t going to discipline you but then I saw the look in your eye. You were going to hide; I just know it.”

“Please—uncle Mark, I wasn’t! I promise!” She cried, her knees rubbing harshly even with her dress to protect them a little. Her hands covered his, attempting to undo them.

“Go to your room, I don’t want to see you until tomorrow.” He let go of her hair and Paisley managed to stand up on her wobbly knees.

“My punishment?” She asked, stumbling back.

“You take the photos Friday. I choose the subject and you don’t get dinner tonight.”

“What subject?” She asked fearfully, maybe it was Stella? Or Alyssa, or even Taylor and Courtney. It was impossible to figure out who his intended target was.

“Victoria, of course. You’re drugging her at the Vortex Club party. After I announced the winner of the contest.” Paisley nodded, leaving his presence and staying in her room. He’d left a bit ago by the time the sun was setting, it was getting late and she was getting hungry, but she wouldn’t dare try to eat. Paisley lost track of how much time she’d been sitting in the window. When she saw the snow, she didn’t believe it to be real. The house was silent meaning her aunt Prudence was gone and had taken Amelia to work.

She simply went outside and watched it snow. Lee sat on the steps of the backyard and felt sharp pains in her head, passing out. There was thunder, harsh winds. Paisley forced herself to walk up the steep terrain. She managed to barely avoid collapsing trees and rolling boulders. They obstacles she probably couldn’t have managed without her rewind abilities. As she ran up, Paisley realized it was a lighthouse. The lighthouse, she looked over the edge and saw nothing but Arcadia Bay in ruins.

When she made it to the top, she saw Max who was holding a newspaper.

“October 11th? Is this Friday? That’s only four days away!” Max exclaimed, letting the paper fly upwards into the storm. Paisley reached out, her hand touching Max’s shoulder as she zapped back to the stairs. Lee stood and stumbled into the house, locking the back door and locking herself inside her bedroom.

Maybe it’s time to be a hero.

[imagine-loki]

Across the Divide

TITLE: Across The Divide CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter Twenty Four  AUTHOR: wolfpawn ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki sneaking out of the palace as a youth to see the city and countryside, while out one day, he accidentally gets in trouble for something, but a young girl deals with the situation, allowing him to be left alone and his true identity be kept secret. She is a poor girl who is only in the city to sell goods with her father, so she does not realise it is Loki, even though she sees his face. They form a friendship as she shows him around the city, and tells him the date she comes to the city every month for a particular market. RATING: Teen and Up 

 Ariella sat looking at the tutor in front of her as though he had four heads, he was getting frustrated with her for her lack of knowledge at her age, meaning she was not learning anything. By the end of the lesson, she felt as though it was pointless, merely looking at the book she had in front of her caused her to become nauseous, she wanted nothing to do with it. Throwing it to the side after he left the room, she curled up in the bed, wondering why they had bothered.

‘The lesson did not go well, I assume.’ she turned to see Odin holding the book she had discarded in his hand, and glowered at it. ‘What happened?’

‘He said I was supposed to know it already. I said I never had any education and he dismissed it as nonsense and called me lazy.’ She stated sadly.

‘Well, that is going to teach someone to read.’ Odin scoffed sarcastically. ‘Do you know the alphabet?’

‘Yes, Loki taught me that.’ she smiled. ‘When he taught me it was simple, I learnt everything he taught me in our afternoon’s, it was easy.’

‘When one’s tutor is one they like, they are able to teach even the most difficult thing to even the youngest of their students.’ Odin nodded.

‘Do I need to see that tutor again?’ Ariella asked worriedly. Odin nodded his head. ‘I did not even last one lesson.’ she felt her heart breaking at her failure.

‘You did last the lesson,’ Odin pointed out. ‘The issue now is getting you a tutor before you learn to despise learning, that would only serve to impede you.’

‘I cannot…’

‘The only thing you are unable to do in this life is father a child.’ Odin interjected. ‘Everything else is possible for any, especially one as determined and strong-willed as you.’

‘When does Loki return from his duties across the realm?’ she asked, not wanting to discuss the pressure she felt to achieve what was expected of her. Odin looked at her oddly. ‘He said he had to leave a few days ago, when will he be back.’

‘Yes, he is due back soon. I will ensure he knows you are looking for him when he does.’ he gave her a reassuring smile. ‘Now, perhaps we can see what it was that the tutor was doing wrong.’ he took the book she had been using and slowly started to go through the first page with her, calmly and kindly explaining what words she had difficulty with, never correcting her with anything other than assistance.

*

Odin walked into Loki’s room without waiting for his son to consent to his arrival, inside, Loki was looking over reports. ‘Since you taught me to knock and await permission to enter, I assume you do know how to do such yourself.’ He stated as he looked up from the paper in his hand and to his father.

‘What are you doing Loki?’

‘Reading a report on the average sized plot of land that is assumed to be able to feed a farm labourer and his family for the twelve months of the year, for the record, it is not Aesirly possible for them to sustain themselves on the meagre scrap of land given. There is a family of seven in a two-roomed shack expected to live with only thirty feet by ten of land to grow food near the Riverlands. I paced this room and covered that and more to get around my desk.’ Loki ranted. ‘So what is bothering you so greatly you took time from your afternoon off to come here?’

‘Ariella,’ Odin watched his son’s face contort for a moment at the mention of his friend’s name, acting as though he was merely listening and not trying to show his concern. ‘You have her told you are not in the palace at present.’

‘I am incredibly busy, as you know, it is less cruel than having her assume she is being ignored.’

‘It is twice as cruel because you are ignoring her and lying to her to add to it, what if she were to find out? She would probably much rather you tell her you were busy, she is asking for you for Valhalla’s sake. I had no idea what the poor creature was on about when she asked when you would return and she asked me to tell you she was asking for you should I be speaking with you before you saw her again.’ Loki chewed his lip at his father’s words. ‘What is afoot, Loki?’

‘It is for the best.’

Odin sighed, threw his eye skyward and folded his arms. ‘What is?’

‘Distancing myself from her.’

‘And what, pray tell, will that achieve? Other than mutual misery. Tell me Loki, why save her from that forsaken life if you are going to give her another one. You swore to me that you would protect her here and have her cared for.’

‘I can do that from afar.’

‘And why not in close proximity?’

‘Because it is not realistic.’

‘That friendship was never realistic Loki, but it is very much real and more solidly founded than most of our ties with other realms. What have I taught you and your brother, realism does not always have a place in reality.’ Odin growled. ‘You promised her you would be there for her, and you have not seen her once since the day you promised that.’ Loki turned his back on his father. ‘What excuse are you going to use next, boy? What idea can the Liesmith think of that will not crush her? You would bring her back from the brink of death to put her through the suffering of it again, only this time, at your hand, is that it? Make it more painful for her? Give her a glimpse of a better life they pull it away because you can?’ Odin’s anger grew.

‘Why do you even care?’ Loki snarled, angered at the horrible ideas his father was voicing.

‘Because like you, the time spent speaking to that girl by your mother and I has caused both of us to see the incredible being she is, smart and caring.’

‘Why does that matter to you?’ Loki shouted.

‘Because she took my son from the brink of self-destruction and darkness and turned him into a man, a good, honest, decent man, who cares about others, who stands pacing in his room trying to find a way to look after a family of seven that needs help and fights, even when even his father thought he was mad for something he knows is right and does not stop until I listen, that is why. She is the reason you have turned into a most honourable prince, leader, son and man. One that his family are incredibly proud of, and who hope that he is proud of himself.’ Odin roared back, trying to get Loki to react with anything other than dismissal. ‘That is why.’ His last sentence was quiet, the shocked look on Loki’s face telling him that his son heard him fully. ‘You are everything a realm needs Loki, you are what they need.’

‘I am not the crowned prince, though, am I?’ Loki retorted.

‘You are not to be king, but you never wanted that, did you?’ His father challenged. Loki said nothing in return. ‘Your lashing out, your mischief, it was all to get recognition.’ Loki looked down, not able to meet his father’s eye. ‘I was blinded for so long to you, comparing you to Thor, it took too long to realise that you are different men, and because of Ariella…’ Loki winced. ‘What is going on Loki?’

‘Nothing.’

‘For a being capable of lying to any and seeing any lies, you are not doing a good job of doing it right now.’ Odin shook his head as though ashamed of Loki’s lack of ability to do so. ‘So I will ask again, what is the point of avoiding Ariella?’ Loki tried to push passed his father, and though older, was far sturdier build and was able to take his son’s actions. ‘What are you so fearful of?’

‘I fear nothing.’ Loki growled.

‘Do not be foolish Loki, we all fear something. Look me in the eye and tell me you do not fear something happening to your family or Ariella.’

‘Ariella is not my concern.’

‘Yes she is Loki, or you would not have risked your friendship with her to save her from that marriage, so I will ask you again, why?’ Odin refused to let Loki passed.

‘What is the point?’ Loki continued to try and get passed him.

‘Running from things does not get rid of them Loki.’

‘I am not running.’

‘Yes, you are!’ Odin pushed his son backwards, his patience wearing thin. ‘You are running from her, is caring for someone outside of your blood that terrifying for you?’

‘You do not understand.’

‘No, I do not suppose I do. I never knew the sensation of loving a woman before she was given to me as my bride. I did not have to go through the emotions as a youth and try and understand them and worry as to her thoughts, on that, you are right.’ his son paused, looking at him in shock, causing Odin to chuckle. ‘Did you think your mother and I would not notice? There are kitchen maids who know this, the blind can see it, boy.’ Odin commented.

‘I…’ Loki was at a loss at what to say. ‘But I am a prince.’

‘Yes, the younger one.’ His father pointed out. ‘Your brother is the one that has to be wed to someone of a certain standing, he is the one to take the throne. You on the other hand…’ Odin chuckled. ‘You would be, if anything, ironically doing what so many have commented has been needed for about four generations in this house, adding new bloodlines, bringing something of variety to it.’ Loki stared at him. ‘You confronted Ariella on her fears yet do not do the same yourself, the irony is not lost on me.’ Loki said nothing more. ‘It is not going to go down well with many of the older Lords, it will be said that this occurred to make a statement, there will be those who will fear it, because it means that a commoner of no standing would be able to voice situations they are desperate to keep silent and they will not be able to silence her, or you.’

‘Except I lose my title were I to take her as a wife, correct?’

Odin shook his head slightly. ‘Why would you?’

‘Because she is a commoner. Grandfather stripped Uncle Vili of his title for that.’

‘No, your grandfather stripped him of his titles for going to common brothels, and breeding a child with an occupant of which he wanted to recognise as his.’ Loki looked to his father startled hearing this for the first time. ‘She is not much older than your brother, I think she is named Alannah...odd name, beautiful thing though, I hear she is a healer now.’ Loki remained silently shocked at his father revealing a cousin he never knew he had. ‘My father chose to do that to Vili, no other held any power there. I could do such a thing should I want to, but I will not cast my son out for being a good man or for making his own choices in life, never.’ Odin placed his hand on Loki’s shoulder. ‘It will result in comments, mutterings and rumours at first, that you have her with child, that you are only using her, if you can accept those rumours cannot be stopped and continue with your life, if you know you can be strong enough to stand with her and know they are saying such things, then why are you wasting any time away from her?’

‘I...she…’

‘If you only knew…if I never give you any other advice, son, I will bestow these words on you, communication is key. Even when your mother contemplates removing parts of my anatomy for whatever reason I have invoked her wrath this time, she at least tells me what I have done to deserve it. Though, it is debatable as to whether or not I feel I do. She cares for you too, Loki. Eir and your mother have realised it also, in case you think I am a blind old fart.’

‘You still have one eye, but you are halfway there.’ Loki growled.

‘As important as it is to deal with farmworkers woes, I think you need to speak with Ariella, this hiding in work will do you no favours. You especially do not want her to know you were here when you said you were elsewhere. How long before someone goes into the healing rooms and makes a comment regarding you?’

Loki’s eyes widened, earlier in the day, Thor had stated he was going doing training drills with some Einherjar. Because of their training, it was never possible for Thor to come out of such training without at least a few lacerations, so he rushed passed his father and towards the healing rooms. When he entered, his assumption was correct, there was Thor with his forearm covered in a cloth, a small trickle of blood stemming down to the elbow and dripping to the floor. He was standing not far from Ariella’s bed, the older prince and the younger woman both looking at him, Thor’s face one of startled uncertainty, Ariella���s unreadable.

[siodymph]

Science Bros Day 7

And here it is! Last prompt! This whole week has been such a blast! Honestly it really rekindled my love for science bros, I didn’t realize how much I missed writing for these two! And now this week has even inspired me to flesh out my day 4 prompt into a full fic! And it’s wonderful to read some many different stories and see such cute art everywhere again! You guys are just so great and wicked talented!

And while “Yours” may be the last official prompt, I’m still going strong, and will begin publishing some of the request that I’ve received. And if there’s any ideas you’d like to see me write feel free to send them my way! I’ll keep going till the 21st !

You can read this story under the cut or on my AO3! Hope you enjoy!

word count: 4058

It was a Monday morning and the Banner/Stark family was getting ready for a new day and a new week.

Bruce had several of his lectures this late morning until the afternoon and a few labs in the evening so it would be a full day for him. Tony was organizing all his blueprints, his research, to bring it all back to work with him. And their two oldest had school. It had become a ritual of sorts when they had the time in the morning for Tony and Bruce both to go see them off at school before going their separate ways to their own jobs. Bruce got two lunches together as well as one for himself while everyone went about their morning routines in the kitchen.

Tony had their youngest kid, little Kennedy, in one arm as he brought several holographic blueprints all around their kitchen back into a tablet with the other hand. Bruce always loved the awestruck look Kennedy would get on her face, entranced by all of her Daddy’s holographic work. Today she would be going with Tony to work over in the Stark industries. Tony’s reasoning was always that having a cute little tike in the room made it surprisingly easy to make deals and get through long-winded meetings but Bruce always had a feeling he did it just because he liked to bring her with him to work.

Ramona, their oldest at 11, had her nose in her workbook. Just like her adoptive fathers she was brilliant, but especially like Tony she had a bad habit of putting off busy-work she didn’t like till the literal last minute. So she scribbled out a half-assed homework assignment for her English class as she drank a bowl of cereal straight from the bowl, forgoing a spoon as she hurried.

And their middle child at 9 and only boy, Aiden, came quietly down the stairs. He seemed upset about something. He barely made a peep as he poured himself a bowl of cereal and sat down next to his sister. Bruce wanted to ask him what was wrong but he had learned with Aiden if you were too sudden or direct with him, he’d shut down. So Bruce stayed back and waited. Aiden would open up in his own time. When he did speak up, Bruce made sure to let him know he was listening.

He came over Bruce and leaned heavily onto his side. “Hey Papa? Can I skip school today? I don’t feel good.”

Near instantly Bruce brought his hand to feel Aiden’s forehead. He felt fine, no fever. But he did still seem really upset about something. After several mishaps it had become a family rule to only ask Bruce to miss school. Tony would always say yes and let the kids go to work with him instead. And while both of them had crappy experiences with the American School system, Bruce still wanted their kids to at least try going to school. As long as nothing was wrong of course.

“I’m not sick.” Aiden admitted honestly. “I just don’t feel good.”

“Well then how do you feel?” Bruce tried gently.

“I don’t know. Bad? I just want to miss school for one more day, please Papa?”

Bruce wanted to say yes. But he also wanted to understand. There wasn’t much he could do for Aiden unless he knew what was hurting his son. “Maybe. Can you explain why you don’t want to go to school?”

“You remember Thursday?”

“Yes.” Last Thursday Bruce had to go meet Aiden at the principal’s office after he got in a fight with a kid in the fourth grade. He hadn’t hurt him badly but still made an awfully strong impression on the kid, all his friends and his very angry mother.

“All Friday I kept seeing him. We didn’t fight but I could hear them laughing when I wasn’t looking. I felt really mad all day.”

Bruce felt himself getting mad but he tried not to show it. “Do you want me to go in and talk to your Principal about it?”

“No!” Aiden shouted, panicked. “They don’t actually mess with me. They’re too scared to now. If they got in trouble things would only get worse…”

Sadly Bruce could understand that, in 30 years the public education system still impossibly mishandled bullying in their schools.

“This whole weekend though I didn’t see him. I felt fine. And I want to feel fine today too.”

“Aiden.” Bruce said sighing. No way in hell he’d ever put his children in harm’s way. But he hated to think that a place meant for him to learn and grow had become a place he hated. A lot like himself. “Aiden? You know we’re really alike, you and me. I had a lot of anger issues when I was a little older than you.”

“So what did you do?” Aiden asked.

Bruce tried to think back on his own experience, something that would help Aiden understand. “Well, it doesn’t just disappear, your emotions. It’s healthy to let things go but sometimes it’s hard to know if you’re really letting something go, or if you’re just swallowing it down. Letting it bottle up inside you. If that makes any sense at all.”

“I guess. Our teacher always is telling us to forgive and move on.”

“She’s coming from the right place. But sometimes it’s hard to just drop the way you feel. Even if everyone around you assumes you should. And it’s ok. You’re allowed to feel upset about a situation or a person.” Bruce continued, not wanting to give Aiden the wrong idea. “However, it’s not fair to act out on the way you feel just because you’re upset and no one else is. You can defend yourself, but it’s not nice to hurt others deliberately.”

“I know that, Papa. I just don’t want to feel so bad all the time.”

“Well I found the best thing to do is talk to people. Talk to someone you trust about the way you feel. Or if you don’t feel comfortable talking you could try keeping a journal. You could write in it whenever you’re upset and when a problem you have is resolved. Finding an outlet to channel your emotions into can be very helpful. Do you understand Aiden?”

“Yeah Papa.”

“Do you still want to miss school for today?”

“… Can I? Just for today.”

Bruce sighed in defeat. “Hey Tony, you got room for another kid today?”

“Always do!” Tony said beaming and ruffling up Aiden’s hair. “I can take you down to the workshop when Kennedy’s taking her nap. That’s how you really learn, working out in your field, gaining experience! Hey Ramona!”

“Tony no-“

“You wanna skip school too? We can do a field trip!”

Ramona considered it, but in the end she shook her head and shoved her homework into her book bag. “I can’t. I have a spelling test.”

“Well you know if you’re sick on a test day, you can always take it the next day. And you get an extra 24 hours to study.”

“Tony!”

“I’m kidding!” Tony said, kissing Bruce on the cheek as he collected up his laptop and scooped up Kennedy back into his arms. “You sure sweetie?”

“Yeah I’m good.” Ramona said, strapping on her backpack.

“Alright. We’ll drop you off at school, then we’ll head out to work.” Everyone began grabbing their things and heading for the front hall. And Bruce took a tiny moment just to watch them go. Smiling. He had a family. Bruce Banner truly had a family.

Tony gave him a teasing look, swinging the front door open rather dramatically. “Hello? You coming big guy? We don’t have all day!”

“Yeah, I’m coming!” He said, looking down and grabbing his keys before leaving for the day.

Bruce was ready to follow them all out the door when something strange happened. And the illusion began to crack.

Bruce!

He could hear Tony saying something. When Bruce looked up, he was already down the hall with the kids. But his voice sounded like it was directly in front of him.

“Bruce? Are you feeling alright?”

Bruce! Bruce, come on! You gotta snap out of it!

Tony’s voice was right there in his face, and it sounded so different. Frantic, maybe even scared. And he knew the truth was there. Standing in plain sight. A part of Bruce had known the whole time. An inkling in the back of his mind. He’d just hoped it had been a trick. That he was just feeling paranoid over nothing.

But he was fast realizing the truth. And everything began slowly fading away.

He felt himself stumbling back. He needed to get out of here. But he never wanted to leave!

“Papa?” Aiden and Sophia looked at him with eyes full of fear. Kennedy started crying.

Come on! I know you can break out of this!

He wanted this to be real. He felt like he was being torn apart. Please, just let him keep this.

BRUCE!

But he couldn’t. Because Bruce Banner didn’t have a house in the city with houseplants in every room and garden boxes in every window. Bruce Banner didn’t have an esteemed position with one of the biggest universities in the country. Bruce Banner didn’t have a healthy hold on his emotions. Bruce Banner didn’t have kids. And he never would have kids because it was too dangerous. Bruce Banner had horrible powers and many people wanted him caged or dead.

And as Tony and their children raced towards Bruce, he felt like he was falling backwards. He looked at them all one last time and closed his eyes.  

When he opened his eyes again it was all gone.

  He was lying on his back. On an alien planet. And Tony was right there, staring down at him and looking extremely relieved.

“Thank god, knew you could do it!”

Bruce let Tony pull him upright. There was a migraine pulsing in the front of his head but he still forced himself to wake up. All around them it seemed like other members of their group were in similar states. Some recovering with headaches, others still lost is some sort of trance. The red aura of the Scarlet Witch was hovering over everyone. “What the hell happened?”

He remembered everyone being split into two groups. Bruce was in one and Tony was in the other. And from the looks of it something had gone horribly wrong in Bruce’s team.

“We’re not 100% sure yet. But from what we collected, one of Thanos’s lackys got into Wanda’s head and used her powers against her. It’s like she was hacked. Those alien guys are still trying to calm her down.”

Bruce could see the Scarlet Witch several yards away. She was completely trapped in her own powers. Eyes glowing a bloody, deep red and she was openly sobbing. She was crying out incoherently and Bruce could make out her brother’s name in her words. She was completely unaware of the people surrounding her, trying to help her. One of the alien woman with a set of antenna on her head grabbed Wanda’s arm and began crying too.

“Pepper told me everything she knew. Wanda was showing everyone in your group their desires. Like the really big stuff. And from the look of it she’s been seeing her own desires too.”

His desires… It truly was an illusion. Just a trick of the mind. None of it was real.

“Hey Bruce? You ok?”

Bruce? Are you feeling alright?

It would never be real.

He found himself getting up fast. Tony was at his side asking him if he was really alright to keep going. Bruce said he was. But he couldn’t look directly at Tony. Whenever he did he kept seeing flashes of that other Tony sketching out some blueprints in a kitchen. Or that other Tony holding their kids by the hand. Tony actually relaxed, truly happy and utterly carefree. A Tony that wasn’t real, couldn’t be real. At least not the Tony he knew right now.

But he couldn’t afford to let that distract him any more than it had. Their team was in trouble and needed his help. Now.

So he tried to swallow down the turmoil of feelings coursing through him. Tony tried to talk to them as they went but Bruce couldn’t bring himself to truly listen to him. He still couldn’t look at him. He felt like he was lagging behind his body a few steps. Everything was going so slow and they had work to do. He and Tony went separate ways to try reviving as many of their teammates and friends as they could. And as they all came back to their senses, regrouped and prepared to head out, Bruce’s mind and heart refused to go numb.

Bruce isolated himself as much as he could once they were on the Guardians’ ship. Some sort of small storage space. He needed to be alone. He needed to find a way to shut his brain off.

Every time he closed his eyes he could still see it. The house. The kitchen. Tony with the kids. God, his kids. That had to of been the cruelest part of all.

He just wanted to forget the whole thing. Stop thinking entirely. But his mind wouldn’t stop. Nothing he did would make it stop. He couldn’t let the image go, it was seared into his mind. And his brain kept going and going, it felt like white static in his skull.

When he heard someone come to the door he was ready to snap at them to leave him alone. Just give him a minute! But he held the words back when he saw it was one of the alien women, Mantis. In the time Bruce had gotten to know the Guardians he’d learned Mantis was a well-meaning but shy and soft-spoken person. And he’d feel bad for yelling at her for no reason. So instead, as she stepped into the small storage space he’d let her come in.

“Hello. Mantis, right?”

“Yes, that’s correct.” She said. Bruce had been willing to let her in, but when she sat down on the floor across from him he tensed. “Are you ok? You stormed off after the attack. Many people seemed concerned about you. Especially with the whole mind-manipulation you were caught under.”

“I’m fine. I just needed some time alone. To get my head on straight. I’ll be alright in a couple minutes.” Bruce said, trying to gently get Mantis to leave.

But instead, much to his dismay, Mantis didn’t seem to pick up on his suggestion and scootched a little closer towards him. Looking rather excited for someone sitting on the floor of a storage unit with Bruce Banner. “Perhaps I can be of assistance then!”

“Uh thanks, but that’s not necessary-” Bruce tried, but Mantis quickly brushed him off.

“No. You see, this is the sort of situation my powers were made for! I have the ability to feel another’s emotions. To help others understand! All I need to do is touch their skin with my hand and I can know them. I can do this for you! If you’re willing of course.”

She held her hand towards Bruce and he thought it over. The idea of someone knowing exactly how he felt seemed very invasive to him. And usually he handled his own emotions himself where he couldn’t bother, upset or hurt anyone else.

And yet despite that he still found himself rolling up his jacket and offering his arm to Mantis. Curiosity was a cursed thing.

As soon as Mantis’s hand touched his shoulder she doubled over shuddering. Bruce feared for the worst when he saw her antenna began to glow green and she drew a shuddering breath. But she didn’t grow any worse than that and slowly pulled herself back up.

“Oh… Oh my goodness…” Mantis gasped, trying to compose herself. She looked back to Bruce looking like she was about to either start sobbing or screaming. But she kept talking in between shaky breaths. “You’re mourning a dream. You’re yearning for something, but it’s so painful! It’s broken your heart so many times. But it still aches. And it infuriates you so. It’s… It’s so much!”

She pulled her hand away and hugged it on her chest as if it had been burned. It took all of Bruce’s willpower not to get up and leave when Mantis turned towards him with such pity.

“Do you feel like that all the time?”

Bruce shrugged, trying to ignore that direct look. “Not all the time. Not as often.”

“Oh…” Mantis said. She looked like she wanted to touch Bruce again, but she pulled her hand back. “I’m sorry you feel like that Bruce. That hurt.”

“You don’t have to apologize, it’s not your doing.”

“I understand. But I still wish I could help more. You’re feeling so many different emotions at once.”

Mantis didn’t continue right away. She paused for a moment, trying to collect her own thoughts. And a weird-feeling silence took up the space before Mantis worked together what exactly she wanted to say. “There was some strange things in your feelings. I sensed a great loneliness in you. But not only that, you had this acceptance for loneliness too… Perhaps you should go talk to some of your friends? I know you hold a lot of compassion for them and they care for you too. The woman with red hair, the woman with red hair who’s also molten hot, the man with lightning. And especially the Iron Man.”

“Ok that’s starting to sound more like mind-reading.” Bruce said accusingly.

“Oh, no. I didn’t pick that last part up in your feeling. No, I saw it seeing you and your friends’ battle and in the aftermath.” Mantis added. “Many of them did seemed worried about you.”

Bruce sighed. He was beginning to wonder if Thor and the others pushed Mantis to come in here to try and help him. He rubbed at his face. “Ok. Well can you go tell them I’ll be out soon? I just need a little more time. Alone.”

This time Mantis accepted what he was saying. And with a quiet “Of course” She got up and made her way back into the hallway.

“Thanks for your help.”

Mantis stopped before leaving completely, confused. “I don’t understand. I got so overwhelmed when I tried to read you. I wasn’t able to help you.”

“You did try. And even if it’s not everything, it was… nice, I guess, to put a name to some of this… stuff.” Bruce offered, and gestured to his head as he spoke.

Hopefully that had been the right thing to say. Mantis straightened up a little and smiled from the door.

“Ok. I’ll leave you be for now then. Are you going to speak with anyone else?”

“I will, don’t worry. I think I’ll go talk with Tony later. Iron Man.” He owed his boyfriend that much. He was a huge part of the vison after all. And he’d been avoiding him for half-an-hour now because every time he looked at his he was reminded of that fake Tony in his dream. He owed him an explanation at least.

He finally left the room after a few more moments alone. As he walked through the ship he saw the damage done. Today’s attack had hit harder than any physical tactic waged against them. Moral had plummeted. And Bruce felt helpless as he saw the state of everyone in his group. Nat seemed like she still might be in a trance, she starred numbly out a window at the stars. One of the Gaurdians, Gamora, sat by her side giving her an understanding look but didn’t say anything. Thor acknowledged him as he passed but his lips were firmly pressed into a tight frown and his hand clutched at a hammer no longer there. Several people were still crying. Wanda especially so. And Mantis was going from person to person, trying to help people the best she could. Giving council to those willing to accept it.

He found Tony down in the workshop-station. The one run by an ornery but brilliant raccoon. But Rocket wasn’t in there at the moment. Nobody else but Tony. He was hard at work repairing one his busted gauntlets on the Iron Man suit.

Bruce knocked on the wall as he came in, “Uh, hi?”

“Hey you!” Tony called out in a slightly forced voice as he looked up from his gauntlet. He pulled off a pair of goggles so he could see him better. “What’s up?”

“I was just looking for you. Everyone seems really… worn from today’s fight.” Bruce said.

Tony sighed and began to let that front he’d first put on slide. “Yeah. Looks like our buddy Thanos isn’t above psychological warfare. Are you doing ok? Cause everyone was forced to see some pretty messed-up stuff.”

“Yeah, I’m ok enough. That’s… That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about. My vision.” Bruce came closer and sat by Tony’s side.

“You don’t have to tell me what you saw if you don’t want to, Bruce.”

“I know…” Bruce said. Tony didn’t respond so Bruce kept going. “I didn’t have my powers… We had a family. We were all eating breakfast. They were getting ready for school.”

He watched as Tony’s closed his eyes and rubbed at his eyelids. “Shit. I’m sorry Bruce.”

“It’s not your fault. It was my own mind that was manipulated.”

“But I know how much you like kids…”

He heard Tony sigh. And neither of them said anything. He quietly turned to look more closely at him. The real Tony Stark. In the florescent lighting and his own exhausted state, Tony almost looked ashen. And with them fighting every day Tony’s hair had gone a long time without any dye and had really started greying along the sides. He was thinking hard about something. Probably overthinking. And whatever it was it wasn’t good from the way he looked towards his broken gauntlet with such a resigned acceptance.

“… Do you think we could ever do that? I mean, if we somehow manage to survive all this and save the world. You think when we get back to earth, we could ever do that?”

Bruce didn’t know what to say. Yes. He’d wanted something like that for years, decades now. He’d always wanted to be a father. But he would never be able to give them a safe home. Any kid they might take in might always be in trouble just being in proximity of him. And that was even if any adoption agency would ever like the likes of them adopt kids. But he had finally mastered his powers, he found peace with the other part of himself. But there were also so many other obstacles in their way than his own powers.

“I don’t know. I’m really sorry. I want to but I just don’t know.”

He felt Tony, gently hug his shoulders. And he spoke softly. “Hey, it’s ok. It’s alright. Honestly. I mean, who even knows if we’ll ever get back to earth!”

Tony laughed, but there was a grim look in his eyes. And Bruce found himself mirroring back that sad, sort of humor. “We don’t even know if we’ll live long enough to see the end of this war.”

“Yeah, you’re right. So I’m gonna say this. And I’ll probably tell you every day we’re still alive cause I’m dramatic like that, you know.” Tony said, he held Bruce by both so hid shoulders so they were looking face to face. Then slowly moved closer as he spoke until their foreheads were touching.

“No matter what happens I’m staying right here. I’ve never regretted choosing to be with you and I never will. I love you, Bruce Banner. I’m yours.”

Bruce pressed his lips softly against Tony’s trying to convey everything he was feeling. And he felt Tony smiling against him as he pulled away.

“And just in case you wanted a reminder. This? This right here? This is real.”

“Yeah… I hoped so.”

[flauntpage]

FC Barcelona is Winning Matches and Losing its Fanbase

“It was really weird. None of us had ever experienced something like that,” said Las Palmas player Ximo Navarro when the game ended. His club had just taken on FC Barcelona and lost 3-0. There was nothing unusual about the result. But there was something unusual about the fact that the game was played in a completely empty stadium.

October 1 was a momentous and uncomfortable day in Catalonia. The Catalan government had organized a referendum to decide on independence for the region in northeastern Spain. The Spanish government considered the vote illegal and sent the security forces to stop it. Images of policemen brutally attacking peaceful citizens made it to the front page of newspapers all around the world.

And as it all was happening, FC Barcelona had to play a La Liga game against UD Las Palmas in their iconic stadium, Camp Nou. Given the circumstances, the club made a controversial decision: the game was going to be played…but behind closed doors. No fan, home or away, was allowed to access the venue: for the first time since 1925, Barça played a home game in a stadium with completely empty stands.

After the game the blaugrana players said that they too had felt really weird. Two members of the board resigned, unhappy with the decision to play at all that day.

Catalans voted for independence by an overwhelming margin. And since then, Barcelona have won almost every single game: the club leads La Liga by a comfortable margin and qualified easily for the knockout round of the Champions League. One would expect a happy crowd cheering in every game...and yet the Camp Nou stands appear sad and half empty week after week.

So what’s going on with Messi's club?

The stadium is not usually this empty. Photo: Alejandro Garcia, EPA-EFE

Well, skyrocketing ticket prices and the declining brilliance of the team on the pitch has led to a certain apathy from longtime fans. But, most interestingly, the club has shown a complete inability to connect with its history, and—especially in a fraught political moment—this is not something the Barça supporters are eager to accept.

"The current board prefers a global, impersonal club to one that keeps its traditional identity," says Ángel Iturriaga, a history professor at the International La Rioja University (UNIR) and author of several books about FC Barcelona.

"The club managers pay more attention to TV rights than to the fans in the stadium. It's actually better for the board to have a silent, denatured Camp Nou in order to avoid any criticism: the stands are full of tourists who care more about taking selfies than about football."

It wasn’t always this way, says Ramon Besa, sports editor at the Spanish newspaper El País. FC Barcelona used to have a strong bond with local society.

"Barça was always an active actor in Catalonia," he told VICE Sports. "Right now, though, it isn't anymore: this might have caused a certain estrangement from Catalanist fans, who traditionally were a majority at Camp Nou."

From its early days, Iturriaga explained, the club has been “closely linked” with Catalinism.

"Camp Nou used to offer a shelter, a small measure of freedom for Catalans in the toughest moments of the twentieth century,” Iturriaga said. “During the dictatorships of Miguel Primo de Rivera (1923-1930) and Francisco Franco (1939-1975), when Catalan language and culture were banned, the Barça stadium became a haven for many fans who otherwise had no spaces to express themselves.”

FC Barcelona is one of only three clubs in the Spanish first division that are not in the hands of investors: officially, the ownership belongs to the members. Every six years, more than 150,000 people have the right to vote in order to choose the next president of the club.

"Barça is a really heterogeneous organization, and its political positioning as an institution often depends heavily on the ideas of the board in power," explains Besa. "When Joan Laporta was in office (2003-2010), Barça's symbolic charge grew remarkably." It was Laporta himself who promoted Pep Guardiola, whose support for the Catalan cause is well known, to the position of first team manager.

Sergi Sánchez Adame, a die-hard Barça fan, points out another issue: "If you ask me, players are deified," he says.

Sánchez was one of the promoters of SeguimentFCB, a group of members who announced their candidacy for the club's elections in 2015. Although finally they did not make it to the decisive vote, SeguimentFCB earned big sympathies thanks to its strong advocacy of the interests of the fans who usually accompany the team in their away games.

"I am very disappointed in the players and the club," Sánchez told VICE Sports. "I know they are in a difficult position, because the press is always looking for the slightest chance to attack them...but still, in my opinion they both have estranged a lot from the fans."

"One would say that the board prefers a multinational corporation to a football club for its fans" - Sergi Sánchez Adame, FC Barcelona fan

So is the biggest issue Barça faces political? Or is Barcelona just subject to the same forces as every other major sports entity?

Josep Maria Gay de Liébana, a professor of economics at Barcelona University and reputed analyst of football finances, describes the issue with simplicity:

"The similarities between the world of football and the world of entertainment grow day after day. Clubs keep looking for new ways to generate income in order to pay the massive salaries required by superstars. In doing so, they risk becoming some kind of Disneyland where tourism has more impact than football itself."

In fact, Camp Nou is the most visited museum in Barcelona: in 2016, the stadium welcomed around two million visitors, but most of those did not stay to witness any game. You could argue that football does indeed come second place here, particularly taking into account that Barça went through a really turbulent summer in 2017 after Neymar Jr. left for Paris Saint-Germain. The team lost one of its greatest stars, and did not manage to replace him with a player at the same level: as expected, the fans weren't precisely happy about that.

"The new signings don't seem able to lead the team, and the fans definitely notice that," says Natàlia Arroyo, coach of the Catalan national women's team, technical analyst and journalist at Catalan newspaper Ara.

"Barça still relies heavily on the performances of Messi, Iniesta, Busquets and the other veteran players to win games. That doesn't help generating excitement and new expectations, and in the end it has a negative effect on the bond between the fans and the team."

Arroyo also notes other factors that explain the general disaffection: "I would say that it is becoming way and way easier to watch Barça games from home, lying comfortably on the sofa, instead of facing the discomforts of going to the stadium."

"Barça have been playing lots of games per season for too many years, and kept winning most of them." she adds. "Back in the day, the games at Camp Nou were the center of the weekend schedule for lots of people: now, this is not happening anymore."

Besa takes this argument a little further.

"Club members have even started to sell their seat to others, specially to tourists, just to make money," he says. At Camp Nou, members can apply for the exclusive right to use a seat every season: traditionally, local fans felt that those seats were something of their own and would only lend them to relatives or close friends.

"This marketing of seats is totally new, it had never happened before," says Besa. "The Catalan fans' mentality used to be completely against such behavior."

So, how can Barça fight back and reconquer the hearts of their fans when the bond seems so broken? Some supporters suggest changes in the way seats are assigned during the season; others plead for lower prices, especially for the youngest and most active fans.

Jofre Mateu, a former professional footballer who grew up in the renowned La Masia youth academy, and made his first-team debut for Barcelona in 1998, has another idea on how the club can engage its supporters.

"Back when I started playing, we had no guidelines from the board regarding politics,” he told VICE Sports. "Now, however, everything has changed quite much. On the one hand, players love to appear in the media as much as possible, but on the other hand, they rarely dare to give their opinion on politics: journalists are always eager to manipulate any declaration to get good headlines."

"Barça just cannot stay out of what is going on in the country,” he added. "Being one of Catalonia's most important institutions, the club must simply get involved."

Given the current conditions, and the results of yet another election affirming the Catalan desire for independence, the away game against arch-rivals Real Madrid this Saturday might offer another opportunity for Barça to win the crowds back...although even a clear victory at the Santiago Bernabéu might not be enough.

"Yes, I will definitely watch the Madrid-Barça game on TV with all my passion this weekend," says Sánchez. "But I'm sorry, I'm not going back to Camp Nou... at least until 2018".

FC Barcelona is Winning Matches and Losing its Fanbase published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

[amtushinfosolutionspage]

FC Barcelona is Winning Matches and Losing its Fanbase

“It was really weird. None of us had ever experienced something like that,” said Las Palmas player Ximo Navarro when the game ended. His club had just taken on FC Barcelona and lost 3-0. There was nothing unusual about the result. But there was something unusual about the fact that the game was played in a completely empty stadium.

October 1 was a momentous and uncomfortable day in Catalonia. The Catalan government had organized a referendum to decide on independence for the region in northeastern Spain. The Spanish government considered the vote illegal and sent the security forces to stop it. Images of policemen brutally attacking peaceful citizens made it to the front page of newspapers all around the world.

And as it all was happening, FC Barcelona had to play a La Liga game against UD Las Palmas in their iconic stadium, Camp Nou. Given the circumstances, the club made a controversial decision: the game was going to be played…but behind closed doors. No fan, home or away, was allowed to access the venue: for the first time since 1925, Barça played a home game in a stadium with completely empty stands.

After the game the blaugrana players said that they too had felt really weird. Two members of the board resigned, unhappy with the decision to play at all that day.

Catalans voted for independence by an overwhelming margin. And since then, Barcelona have won almost every single game: the club leads La Liga by a comfortable margin and qualified easily for the knockout round of the Champions League. One would expect a happy crowd cheering in every game…and yet the Camp Nou stands appear sad and half empty week after week.

So what’s going on with Messi’s club?

The stadium is not usually this empty. Photo: Alejandro Garcia, EPA-EFE

Well, skyrocketing ticket prices and the declining brilliance of the team on the pitch has led to a certain apathy from longtime fans. But, most interestingly, the club has shown a complete inability to connect with its history, and—especially in a fraught political moment—this is not something the Barça supporters are eager to accept.

“The current board prefers a global, impersonal club to one that keeps its traditional identity,” says Ángel Iturriaga, a history professor at the International La Rioja University (UNIR) and author of several books about FC Barcelona.

“The club managers pay more attention to TV rights than to the fans in the stadium. It’s actually better for the board to have a silent, denatured Camp Nou in order to avoid any criticism: the stands are full of tourists who care more about taking selfies than about football.”

It wasn’t always this way, says Ramon Besa, sports editor at the Spanish newspaper El País. FC Barcelona used to have a strong bond with local society.

“Barça was always an active actor in Catalonia,” he told VICE Sports. “Right now, though, it isn’t anymore: this might have caused a certain estrangement from Catalanist fans, who traditionally were a majority at Camp Nou.”

From its early days, Iturriaga explained, the club has been “closely linked” with Catalinism.

“Camp Nou used to offer a shelter, a small measure of freedom for Catalans in the toughest moments of the twentieth century,” Iturriaga said. “During the dictatorships of Miguel Primo de Rivera (1923-1930) and Francisco Franco (1939-1975), when Catalan language and culture were banned, the Barça stadium became a haven for many fans who otherwise had no spaces to express themselves.”

FC Barcelona is one of only three clubs in the Spanish first division that are not in the hands of investors: officially, the ownership belongs to the members. Every six years, more than 150,000 people have the right to vote in order to choose the next president of the club.

“Barça is a really heterogeneous organization, and its political positioning as an institution often depends heavily on the ideas of the board in power,” explains Besa. “When Joan Laporta was in office (2003-2010), Barça’s symbolic charge grew remarkably.” It was Laporta himself who promoted Pep Guardiola, whose support for the Catalan cause is well known, to the position of first team manager.

Sergi Sánchez Adame, a die-hard Barça fan, points out another issue: “If you ask me, players are deified,” he says.

Sánchez was one of the promoters of SeguimentFCB, a group of members who announced their candidacy for the club’s elections in 2015. Although finally they did not make it to the decisive vote, SeguimentFCB earned big sympathies thanks to its strong advocacy of the interests of the fans who usually accompany the team in their away games.

“I am very disappointed in the players and the club,” Sánchez told VICE Sports. “I know they are in a difficult position, because the press is always looking for the slightest chance to attack them…but still, in my opinion they both have estranged a lot from the fans.”

“One would say that the board prefers a multinational corporation to a football club for its fans” – Sergi Sánchez Adame, FC Barcelona fan

So is the biggest issue Barça faces political? Or is Barcelona just subject to the same forces as every other major sports entity?

Josep Maria Gay de Liébana, a professor of economics at Barcelona University and reputed analyst of football finances, describes the issue with simplicity:

“The similarities between the world of football and the world of entertainment grow day after day. Clubs keep looking for new ways to generate income in order to pay the massive salaries required by superstars. In doing so, they risk becoming some kind of Disneyland where tourism has more impact than football itself.”

In fact, Camp Nou is the most visited museum in Barcelona: in 2016, the stadium welcomed around two million visitors, but most of those did not stay to witness any game. You could argue that football does indeed come second place here, particularly taking into account that Barça went through a really turbulent summer in 2017 after Neymar Jr. left for Paris Saint-Germain. The team lost one of its greatest stars, and did not manage to replace him with a player at the same level: as expected, the fans weren’t precisely happy about that.

“The new signings don’t seem able to lead the team, and the fans definitely notice that,” says Natàlia Arroyo, coach of the Catalan national women’s team, technical analyst and journalist at Catalan newspaper Ara.

“Barça still relies heavily on the performances of Messi, Iniesta, Busquets and the other veteran players to win games. That doesn’t help generating excitement and new expectations, and in the end it has a negative effect on the bond between the fans and the team.”

Arroyo also notes other factors that explain the general disaffection: “I would say that it is becoming way and way easier to watch Barça games from home, lying comfortably on the sofa, instead of facing the discomforts of going to the stadium.”

“Barça have been playing lots of games per season for too many years, and kept winning most of them.” she adds. “Back in the day, the games at Camp Nou were the center of the weekend schedule for lots of people: now, this is not happening anymore.”

Besa takes this argument a little further.

“Club members have even started to sell their seat to others, specially to tourists, just to make money,” he says. At Camp Nou, members can apply for the exclusive right to use a seat every season: traditionally, local fans felt that those seats were something of their own and would only lend them to relatives or close friends.

“This marketing of seats is totally new, it had never happened before,” says Besa. “The Catalan fans’ mentality used to be completely against such behavior.”

So, how can Barça fight back and reconquer the hearts of their fans when the bond seems so broken? Some supporters suggest changes in the way seats are assigned during the season; others plead for lower prices, especially for the youngest and most active fans.

Jofre Mateu, a former professional footballer who grew up in the renowned La Masia youth academy, and made his first-team debut for Barcelona in 1998, has another idea on how the club can engage its supporters.

“Back when I started playing, we had no guidelines from the board regarding politics,” he told VICE Sports. “Now, however, everything has changed quite much. On the one hand, players love to appear in the media as much as possible, but on the other hand, they rarely dare to give their opinion on politics: journalists are always eager to manipulate any declaration to get good headlines.”

“Barça just cannot stay out of what is going on in the country,” he added. “Being one of Catalonia’s most important institutions, the club must simply get involved.”

Given the current conditions, and the results of yet another election affirming the Catalan desire for independence, the away game against arch-rivals Real Madrid this Saturday might offer another opportunity for Barça to win the crowds back…although even a clear victory at the Santiago Bernabéu might not be enough.

“Yes, I will definitely watch the Madrid-Barça game on TV with all my passion this weekend,” says Sánchez. “But I’m sorry, I’m not going back to Camp Nou… at least until 2018”.

FC Barcelona is Winning Matches and Losing its Fanbase syndicated from http://ift.tt/2ug2Ns6

[flauntpage]

FC Barcelona is Winning Matches and Losing its Fanbase

“It was really weird. None of us had ever experienced something like that,” said Las Palmas player Ximo Navarro when the game ended. His club had just taken on FC Barcelona and lost 3-0. There was nothing unusual about the result. But there was something unusual about the fact that the game was played in a completely empty stadium.

October 1 was a momentous and uncomfortable day in Catalonia. The Catalan government had organized a referendum to decide on independence for the region in northeastern Spain. The Spanish government considered the vote illegal and sent the security forces to stop it. Images of policemen brutally attacking peaceful citizens made it to the front page of newspapers all around the world.

And as it all was happening, FC Barcelona had to play a La Liga game against UD Las Palmas in their iconic stadium, Camp Nou. Given the circumstances, the club made a controversial decision: the game was going to be played…but behind closed doors. No fan, home or away, was allowed to access the venue: for the first time since 1925, Barça played a home game in a stadium with completely empty stands.

After the game the blaugrana players said that they too had felt really weird. Two members of the board resigned, unhappy with the decision to play at all that day.

Catalans voted for independence by an overwhelming margin. And since then, Barcelona have won almost every single game: the club leads La Liga by a comfortable margin and qualified easily for the knockout round of the Champions League. One would expect a happy crowd cheering in every game...and yet the Camp Nou stands appear sad and half empty week after week.

So what’s going on with Messi's club?

The stadium is not usually this empty. Photo: Alejandro Garcia, EPA-EFE

Well, skyrocketing ticket prices and the declining brilliance of the team on the pitch has led to a certain apathy from longtime fans. But, most interestingly, the club has shown a complete inability to connect with its history, and—especially in a fraught political moment—this is not something the Barça supporters are eager to accept.

"The current board prefers a global, impersonal club to one that keeps its traditional identity," says Ángel Iturriaga, a history professor at the International La Rioja University (UNIR) and author of several books about FC Barcelona.

"The club managers pay more attention to TV rights than to the fans in the stadium. It's actually better for the board to have a silent, denatured Camp Nou in order to avoid any criticism: the stands are full of tourists who care more about taking selfies than about football."

It wasn’t always this way, says Ramon Besa, sports editor at the Spanish newspaper El País. FC Barcelona used to have a strong bond with local society.

"Barça was always an active actor in Catalonia," he told VICE Sports. "Right now, though, it isn't anymore: this might have caused a certain estrangement from Catalanist fans, who traditionally were a majority at Camp Nou."

From its early days, Iturriaga explained, the club has been “closely linked” with Catalinism.

"Camp Nou used to offer a shelter, a small measure of freedom for Catalans in the toughest moments of the twentieth century,” Iturriaga said. “During the dictatorships of Miguel Primo de Rivera (1923-1930) and Francisco Franco (1939-1975), when Catalan language and culture were banned, the Barça stadium became a haven for many fans who otherwise had no spaces to express themselves.”

FC Barcelona is one of only three clubs in the Spanish first division that are not in the hands of investors: officially, the ownership belongs to the members. Every six years, more than 150,000 people have the right to vote in order to choose the next president of the club.

"Barça is a really heterogeneous organization, and its political positioning as an institution often depends heavily on the ideas of the board in power," explains Besa. "When Joan Laporta was in office (2003-2010), Barça's symbolic charge grew remarkably." It was Laporta himself who promoted Pep Guardiola, whose support for the Catalan cause is well known, to the position of first team manager.

Sergi Sánchez Adame, a die-hard Barça fan, points out another issue: "If you ask me, players are deified," he says.

Sánchez was one of the promoters of SeguimentFCB, a group of members who announced their candidacy for the club's elections in 2015. Although finally they did not make it to the decisive vote, SeguimentFCB earned big sympathies thanks to its strong advocacy of the interests of the fans who usually accompany the team in their away games.

"I am very disappointed in the players and the club," Sánchez told VICE Sports. "I know they are in a difficult position, because the press is always looking for the slightest chance to attack them...but still, in my opinion they both have estranged a lot from the fans."

"One would say that the board prefers a multinational corporation to a football club for its fans" - Sergi Sánchez Adame, FC Barcelona fan

So is the biggest issue Barça faces political? Or is Barcelona just subject to the same forces as every other major sports entity?

Josep Maria Gay de Liébana, a professor of economics at Barcelona University and reputed analyst of football finances, describes the issue with simplicity:

"The similarities between the world of football and the world of entertainment grow day after day. Clubs keep looking for new ways to generate income in order to pay the massive salaries required by superstars. In doing so, they risk becoming some kind of Disneyland where tourism has more impact than football itself."

In fact, Camp Nou is the most visited museum in Barcelona: in 2016, the stadium welcomed around two million visitors, but most of those did not stay to witness any game. You could argue that football does indeed come second place here, particularly taking into account that Barça went through a really turbulent summer in 2017 after Neymar Jr. left for Paris Saint-Germain. The team lost one of its greatest stars, and did not manage to replace him with a player at the same level: as expected, the fans weren't precisely happy about that.

"The new signings don't seem able to lead the team, and the fans definitely notice that," says Natàlia Arroyo, coach of the Catalan national women's team, technical analyst and journalist at Catalan newspaper Ara.

"Barça still relies heavily on the performances of Messi, Iniesta, Busquets and the other veteran players to win games. That doesn't help generating excitement and new expectations, and in the end it has a negative effect on the bond between the fans and the team."

Arroyo also notes other factors that explain the general disaffection: "I would say that it is becoming way and way easier to watch Barça games from home, lying comfortably on the sofa, instead of facing the discomforts of going to the stadium."

"Barça have been playing lots of games per season for too many years, and kept winning most of them." she adds. "Back in the day, the games at Camp Nou were the center of the weekend schedule for lots of people: now, this is not happening anymore."

Besa takes this argument a little further.

"Club members have even started to sell their seat to others, specially to tourists, just to make money," he says. At Camp Nou, members can apply for the exclusive right to use a seat every season: traditionally, local fans felt that those seats were something of their own and would only lend them to relatives or close friends.

"This marketing of seats is totally new, it had never happened before," says Besa. "The Catalan fans' mentality used to be completely against such behavior."

So, how can Barça fight back and reconquer the hearts of their fans when the bond seems so broken? Some supporters suggest changes in the way seats are assigned during the season; others plead for lower prices, especially for the youngest and most active fans.

Jofre Mateu, a former professional footballer who grew up in the renowned La Masia youth academy, and made his first-team debut for Barcelona in 1998, has another idea on how the club can engage its supporters.

"Back when I started playing, we had no guidelines from the board regarding politics,” he told VICE Sports. "Now, however, everything has changed quite much. On the one hand, players love to appear in the media as much as possible, but on the other hand, they rarely dare to give their opinion on politics: journalists are always eager to manipulate any declaration to get good headlines."

"Barça just cannot stay out of what is going on in the country,” he added. "Being one of Catalonia's most important institutions, the club must simply get involved."

Given the current conditions, and the results of yet another election affirming the Catalan desire for independence, the away game against arch-rivals Real Madrid this Saturday might offer another opportunity for Barça to win the crowds back...although even a clear victory at the Santiago Bernabéu might not be enough.

"Yes, I will definitely watch the Madrid-Barça game on TV with all my passion this weekend," says Sánchez. "But I'm sorry, I'm not going back to Camp Nou... at least until 2018".

FC Barcelona is Winning Matches and Losing its Fanbase published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

[flauntpage]

FC Barcelona is Winning Matches and Losing its Fanbase

“It was really weird. None of us had ever experienced something like that,” said Las Palmas player Ximo Navarro when the game ended. His club had just taken on FC Barcelona and lost 3-0. There was nothing unusual about the result. But there was something unusual about the fact that the game was played in a completely empty stadium.

October 1 was a momentous and uncomfortable day in Catalonia. The Catalan government had organized a referendum to decide on independence for the region in northeastern Spain. The Spanish government considered the vote illegal and sent the security forces to stop it. Images of policemen brutally attacking peaceful citizens made it to the front page of newspapers all around the world.

And as it all was happening, FC Barcelona had to play a La Liga game against UD Las Palmas in their iconic stadium, Camp Nou. Given the circumstances, the club made a controversial decision: the game was going to be played…but behind closed doors. No fan, home or away, was allowed to access the venue: for the first time since 1925, Barça played a home game in a stadium with completely empty stands.

After the game the blaugrana players said that they too had felt really weird. Two members of the board resigned, unhappy with the decision to play at all that day.

Catalans voted for independence by an overwhelming margin. And since then, Barcelona have won almost every single game: the club leads La Liga by a comfortable margin and qualified easily for the knockout round of the Champions League. One would expect a happy crowd cheering in every game...and yet the Camp Nou stands appear sad and half empty week after week.

So what’s going on with Messi's club?

The stadium is not usually this empty. Photo: Alejandro Garcia, EPA-EFE

Well, skyrocketing ticket prices and the declining brilliance of the team on the pitch has led to a certain apathy from longtime fans. But, most interestingly, the club has shown a complete inability to connect with its history, and—especially in a fraught political moment—this is not something the Barça supporters are eager to accept.

"The current board prefers a global, impersonal club to one that keeps its traditional identity," says Ángel Iturriaga, a history professor at the International La Rioja University (UNIR) and author of several books about FC Barcelona.

"The club managers pay more attention to TV rights than to the fans in the stadium. It's actually better for the board to have a silent, denatured Camp Nou in order to avoid any criticism: the stands are full of tourists who care more about taking selfies than about football."

It wasn’t always this way, says Ramon Besa, sports editor at the Spanish newspaper El País. FC Barcelona used to have a strong bond with local society.

"Barça was always an active actor in Catalonia," he told VICE Sports. "Right now, though, it isn't anymore: this might have caused a certain estrangement from Catalanist fans, who traditionally were a majority at Camp Nou."

From its early days, Iturriaga explained, the club has been “closely linked” with Catalinism.

"Camp Nou used to offer a shelter, a small measure of freedom for Catalans in the toughest moments of the twentieth century,” Iturriaga said. “During the dictatorships of Miguel Primo de Rivera (1923-1930) and Francisco Franco (1939-1975), when Catalan language and culture were banned, the Barça stadium became a haven for many fans who otherwise had no spaces to express themselves.”

FC Barcelona is one of only three clubs in the Spanish first division that are not in the hands of investors: officially, the ownership belongs to the members. Every six years, more than 150,000 people have the right to vote in order to choose the next president of the club.

"Barça is a really heterogeneous organization, and its political positioning as an institution often depends heavily on the ideas of the board in power," explains Besa. "When Joan Laporta was in office (2003-2010), Barça's symbolic charge grew remarkably." It was Laporta himself who promoted Pep Guardiola, whose support for the Catalan cause is well known, to the position of first team manager.

Sergi Sánchez Adame, a die-hard Barça fan, points out another issue: "If you ask me, players are deified," he says.

Sánchez was one of the promoters of SeguimentFCB, a group of members who announced their candidacy for the club's elections in 2015. Although finally they did not make it to the decisive vote, SeguimentFCB earned big sympathies thanks to its strong advocacy of the interests of the fans who usually accompany the team in their away games.

"I am very disappointed in the players and the club," Sánchez told VICE Sports. "I know they are in a difficult position, because the press is always looking for the slightest chance to attack them...but still, in my opinion they both have estranged a lot from the fans."

"One would say that the board prefers a multinational corporation to a football club for its fans" - Sergi Sánchez Adame, FC Barcelona fan

So is the biggest issue Barça faces political? Or is Barcelona just subject to the same forces as every other major sports entity?

Josep Maria Gay de Liébana, a professor of economics at Barcelona University and reputed analyst of football finances, describes the issue with simplicity:

"The similarities between the world of football and the world of entertainment grow day after day. Clubs keep looking for new ways to generate income in order to pay the massive salaries required by superstars. In doing so, they risk becoming some kind of Disneyland where tourism has more impact than football itself."

In fact, Camp Nou is the most visited museum in Barcelona: in 2016, the stadium welcomed around two million visitors, but most of those did not stay to witness any game. You could argue that football does indeed come second place here, particularly taking into account that Barça went through a really turbulent summer in 2017 after Neymar Jr. left for Paris Saint-Germain. The team lost one of its greatest stars, and did not manage to replace him with a player at the same level: as expected, the fans weren't precisely happy about that.

"The new signings don't seem able to lead the team, and the fans definitely notice that," says Natàlia Arroyo, coach of the Catalan national women's team, technical analyst and journalist at Catalan newspaper Ara.

"Barça still relies heavily on the performances of Messi, Iniesta, Busquets and the other veteran players to win games. That doesn't help generating excitement and new expectations, and in the end it has a negative effect on the bond between the fans and the team."

Arroyo also notes other factors that explain the general disaffection: "I would say that it is becoming way and way easier to watch Barça games from home, lying comfortably on the sofa, instead of facing the discomforts of going to the stadium."

"Barça have been playing lots of games per season for too many years, and kept winning most of them." she adds. "Back in the day, the games at Camp Nou were the center of the weekend schedule for lots of people: now, this is not happening anymore."

Besa takes this argument a little further.

"Club members have even started to sell their seat to others, specially to tourists, just to make money," he says. At Camp Nou, members can apply for the exclusive right to use a seat every season: traditionally, local fans felt that those seats were something of their own and would only lend them to relatives or close friends.

"This marketing of seats is totally new, it had never happened before," says Besa. "The Catalan fans' mentality used to be completely against such behavior."

So, how can Barça fight back and reconquer the hearts of their fans when the bond seems so broken? Some supporters suggest changes in the way seats are assigned during the season; others plead for lower prices, especially for the youngest and most active fans.

Jofre Mateu, a former professional footballer who grew up in the renowned La Masia youth academy, and made his first-team debut for Barcelona in 1998, has another idea on how the club can engage its supporters.

"Back when I started playing, we had no guidelines from the board regarding politics,” he told VICE Sports. "Now, however, everything has changed quite much. On the one hand, players love to appear in the media as much as possible, but on the other hand, they rarely dare to give their opinion on politics: journalists are always eager to manipulate any declaration to get good headlines."

"Barça just cannot stay out of what is going on in the country,” he added. "Being one of Catalonia's most important institutions, the club must simply get involved."

Given the current conditions, and the results of yet another election affirming the Catalan desire for independence, the away game against arch-rivals Real Madrid this Saturday might offer another opportunity for Barça to win the crowds back...although even a clear victory at the Santiago Bernabéu might not be enough.

"Yes, I will definitely watch the Madrid-Barça game on TV with all my passion this weekend," says Sánchez. "But I'm sorry, I'm not going back to Camp Nou... at least until 2018".

FC Barcelona is Winning Matches and Losing its Fanbase published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

[flauntpage]

FC Barcelona is Winning Matches and Losing its Fanbase

“It was really weird. None of us had ever experienced something like that,” said Las Palmas player Ximo Navarro when the game ended. His club had just taken on FC Barcelona and lost 3-0. There was nothing unusual about the result. But there was something unusual about the fact that the game was played in a completely empty stadium.

October 1 was a momentous and uncomfortable day in Catalonia. The Catalan government had organized a referendum to decide on independence for the region in northeastern Spain. The Spanish government considered the vote illegal and sent the security forces to stop it. Images of policemen brutally attacking peaceful citizens made it to the front page of newspapers all around the world.

And as it all was happening, FC Barcelona had to play a La Liga game against UD Las Palmas in their iconic stadium, Camp Nou. Given the circumstances, the club made a controversial decision: the game was going to be played…but behind closed doors. No fan, home or away, was allowed to access the venue: for the first time since 1925, Barça played a home game in a stadium with completely empty stands.

After the game the blaugrana players said that they too had felt really weird. Two members of the board resigned, unhappy with the decision to play at all that day.

Catalans voted for independence by an overwhelming margin. And since then, Barcelona have won almost every single game: the club leads La Liga by a comfortable margin and qualified easily for the knockout round of the Champions League. One would expect a happy crowd cheering in every game...and yet the Camp Nou stands appear sad and half empty week after week.

So what’s going on with Messi's club?

The stadium is not usually this empty. Photo: Alejandro Garcia, EPA-EFE

Well, skyrocketing ticket prices and the declining brilliance of the team on the pitch has led to a certain apathy from longtime fans. But, most interestingly, the club has shown a complete inability to connect with its history, and—especially in a fraught political moment—this is not something the Barça supporters are eager to accept.

"The current board prefers a global, impersonal club to one that keeps its traditional identity," says Ángel Iturriaga, a history professor at the International La Rioja University (UNIR) and author of several books about FC Barcelona.

"The club managers pay more attention to TV rights than to the fans in the stadium. It's actually better for the board to have a silent, denatured Camp Nou in order to avoid any criticism: the stands are full of tourists who care more about taking selfies than about football."

It wasn’t always this way, says Ramon Besa, sports editor at the Spanish newspaper El País. FC Barcelona used to have a strong bond with local society.

"Barça was always an active actor in Catalonia," he told VICE Sports. "Right now, though, it isn't anymore: this might have caused a certain estrangement from Catalanist fans, who traditionally were a majority at Camp Nou."

From its early days, Iturriaga explained, the club has been “closely linked” with Catalinism.

"Camp Nou used to offer a shelter, a small measure of freedom for Catalans in the toughest moments of the twentieth century,” Iturriaga said. “During the dictatorships of Miguel Primo de Rivera (1923-1930) and Francisco Franco (1939-1975), when Catalan language and culture were banned, the Barça stadium became a haven for many fans who otherwise had no spaces to express themselves.”

FC Barcelona is one of only three clubs in the Spanish first division that are not in the hands of investors: officially, the ownership belongs to the members. Every six years, more than 150,000 people have the right to vote in order to choose the next president of the club.

"Barça is a really heterogeneous organization, and its political positioning as an institution often depends heavily on the ideas of the board in power," explains Besa. "When Joan Laporta was in office (2003-2010), Barça's symbolic charge grew remarkably." It was Laporta himself who promoted Pep Guardiola, whose support for the Catalan cause is well known, to the position of first team manager.

Sergi Sánchez Adame, a die-hard Barça fan, points out another issue: "If you ask me, players are deified," he says.

Sánchez was one of the promoters of SeguimentFCB, a group of members who announced their candidacy for the club's elections in 2015. Although finally they did not make it to the decisive vote, SeguimentFCB earned big sympathies thanks to its strong advocacy of the interests of the fans who usually accompany the team in their away games.

"I am very disappointed in the players and the club," Sánchez told VICE Sports. "I know they are in a difficult position, because the press is always looking for the slightest chance to attack them...but still, in my opinion they both have estranged a lot from the fans."

"One would say that the board prefers a multinational corporation to a football club for its fans" - Sergi Sánchez Adame, FC Barcelona fan

So is the biggest issue Barça faces political? Or is Barcelona just subject to the same forces as every other major sports entity?

Josep Maria Gay de Liébana, a professor of economics at Barcelona University and reputed analyst of football finances, describes the issue with simplicity:

"The similarities between the world of football and the world of entertainment grow day after day. Clubs keep looking for new ways to generate income in order to pay the massive salaries required by superstars. In doing so, they risk becoming some kind of Disneyland where tourism has more impact than football itself."

In fact, Camp Nou is the most visited museum in Barcelona: in 2016, the stadium welcomed around two million visitors, but most of those did not stay to witness any game. You could argue that football does indeed come second place here, particularly taking into account that Barça went through a really turbulent summer in 2017 after Neymar Jr. left for Paris Saint-Germain. The team lost one of its greatest stars, and did not manage to replace him with a player at the same level: as expected, the fans weren't precisely happy about that.

"The new signings don't seem able to lead the team, and the fans definitely notice that," says Natàlia Arroyo, coach of the Catalan national women's team, technical analyst and journalist at Catalan newspaper Ara.

"Barça still relies heavily on the performances of Messi, Iniesta, Busquets and the other veteran players to win games. That doesn't help generating excitement and new expectations, and in the end it has a negative effect on the bond between the fans and the team."

Arroyo also notes other factors that explain the general disaffection: "I would say that it is becoming way and way easier to watch Barça games from home, lying comfortably on the sofa, instead of facing the discomforts of going to the stadium."

"Barça have been playing lots of games per season for too many years, and kept winning most of them." she adds. "Back in the day, the games at Camp Nou were the center of the weekend schedule for lots of people: now, this is not happening anymore."

Besa takes this argument a little further.

"Club members have even started to sell their seat to others, specially to tourists, just to make money," he says. At Camp Nou, members can apply for the exclusive right to use a seat every season: traditionally, local fans felt that those seats were something of their own and would only lend them to relatives or close friends.

"This marketing of seats is totally new, it had never happened before," says Besa. "The Catalan fans' mentality used to be completely against such behavior."

So, how can Barça fight back and reconquer the hearts of their fans when the bond seems so broken? Some supporters suggest changes in the way seats are assigned during the season; others plead for lower prices, especially for the youngest and most active fans.

Jofre Mateu, a former professional footballer who grew up in the renowned La Masia youth academy, and made his first-team debut for Barcelona in 1998, has another idea on how the club can engage its supporters.

"Back when I started playing, we had no guidelines from the board regarding politics,” he told VICE Sports. "Now, however, everything has changed quite much. On the one hand, players love to appear in the media as much as possible, but on the other hand, they rarely dare to give their opinion on politics: journalists are always eager to manipulate any declaration to get good headlines."

"Barça just cannot stay out of what is going on in the country,” he added. "Being one of Catalonia's most important institutions, the club must simply get involved."

Given the current conditions, and the results of yet another election affirming the Catalan desire for independence, the away game against arch-rivals Real Madrid this Saturday might offer another opportunity for Barça to win the crowds back...although even a clear victory at the Santiago Bernabéu might not be enough.

"Yes, I will definitely watch the Madrid-Barça game on TV with all my passion this weekend," says Sánchez. "But I'm sorry, I'm not going back to Camp Nou... at least until 2018".

FC Barcelona is Winning Matches and Losing its Fanbase published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv