#and he liked my stuff a whole whole lot that was rly nice actually im used to my design comps needing some work .. hmm :]

[renegaedz]

something sooo wrong with me . guy who likes drawing hands and armour and line art for fun and is enjoying perspective class the most at college

[arudoe]

Ok, first of all I have to say that I love your art style, it's just so comforting idk how to explain it but it's really really really nice

Also I saw your bruise wallpaper hc and you are so right, but which other hc do you have of them??

OMG ueueue thank you so much that is so sweet of you 😢😢

and also im soo glad you liked my silly hc hehe because i have so many its not normal actually

i made a post the other day with some of my hcs (this one) but i have plenty more!! so um enjoy 🦈

- they are both autistic (i infected them /j)

- my jay is transmasc ! (cole too sometimes depending on how i feel)

- they dont rly do petnames only like mean nicknames that are said with very much love and affection (like dummy stink fartface yk…)

- i feel like they do everything together like train play video game even when theyre doing separate things theyre tgt… like its always cole AND jay and never just them seperate… always team up for missions and everything… when they arent together the others will go wheres your other half haha stuff like that also they bicker all the timr and never say anything to each other but when the other isnt around they always talk so fondly about each otjer and 😭😭 it makes me wanna puke /pos

- they have very different music tastes (i hc jay listens to kpop and cole to 80s rock & new wave) and theyll always talk about how bad the others music taste is but secretly they actually like it… (jays kpop playlist got a save once and he was trying to figure out who it was and cole was like whoever it is has the worst music taste in the world) (it was cole who saved it) (also vice versa)

- they play every game and watch every show together and when one of them starts something without the other they get offended 😭😭

- speaking of watching cole cant handle anything scary at all but sometimes jay will somehow convince him to and always puts on the scariest stuff because he thinks its cute when cole jumps 😭

- jay still sleeps with his plushies so when they cuddle jay is spooning his plush and cole is spooning him and sometimes cole lays on jays chest

- they playfight and wrestle a lot and sometimes get seriously hurt while doing it

- they play dancing games tgt… like just dance and ddr

- also i think jay deffo dances to stim (totally not self projecting here) and his dance moves are always a bit silly so cole will copy them and jay is like are my making fun of me >:( and cole is like yeah maybe i am

- on the topic of stims they deffo mimic each other a whole lot in the sense theyll copy each others vocal stims and it annoys the hell out of everyone else because theyll say the same silly phrase over and over again for weeks 😭😭

- i also hc them both as chronically ill (jay is hypermobile and cole has arthritis) and sometimes after especially hard training days they will give each other back rubs/massages…

- they arealso borh very smart separately but when you put them together they become super stupid and lose all their brain cells

UMM okay this is kinda long so ill leave it here i have like a million more but id sit here forever writing them so 😭😭😭 once again im rly happy for ur question im kind of obsessed with them if u cant tell but um yea… enough yapping from me… adios..

[lemontongues]

yknow ive been thinking again lately about how i would like to see more realism in batman content, both canon and fandom, but not the Dark And Gritty kind. the kind thats like.

yes actually he is highly emotionally intelligent and does understand himself quite well and has just accepted that he is A Freak and decided to roll with it rather than being so horrifically emotionally repressed that he can barely even acknowledge that what hes doing is based in trauma. hes been in therapy since he was like 9 years old. he studies human psychology extensively both for himself and so he has better odds of predicting whats gonna go wrong and how when hes up against a rogue or negotiating a hostage situation or whatever. he meditates for two hours a day and is fully capable of keeping a healthy handle on his anger 98% of the time. he's nice to people and fun to be around and sincerely caring. if he were just Always Right but super isolated and reactive and cruel and controlling everyone would fucking hate him and no it wouldnt be enough to sustain his crimefighting activities, thats a stupid lone wolf fuckboy fantasy

he has a strict 9pm bedtime that he only breaks for mandatory WE/brucie activities or emergencies. if theres a gala where he needs to rub shoulders with ppl to gather intel or keep his company running he'll do it but hes Not Happy about being out until midnight and cuts out early as often as possible, and when hes chasing the joker around until 3am hes lamenting his poor sweet circadian rhythm that did nothing wrong ever in its life the whole time. when hes batmanning hes expending a fuckton of energy and he needs to make it up and have a well-established routine to counteract the punishment hes putting his body through. on a similar note, this man is building braces and compression into his suit and doing extensive physical therapy exercises every day of his life bc he wants to have helpful little things like "knees" and "shoulders" by the time hes 40, and hes probably eating a small farms worth of assorted leafy greens and several chickens per day

he is simply Never drunk and he doesnt actually have that much sex. hes really really good at faking a) being drunk and b) getting a high priority phone call from lucius the minute someone hes making out with starts trying to get his shirt off. he also does a lot of "hey look i gotta get out of here with my reputation intact, can we help each other out and pretend we're gonna go fuck?" kind of negotiating with ppl (see: his 9pm bedtime, plus sometimes hes gotta slip away from an event to be sneaky), which is how a lot of the more wild stories about him start circulating lol. this is a man who's regularly getting gassed/injected/etc with highly experimental substances created by maniacs trying to torment or kill him, he does NOT want substances like drugs or alcohol in his body that could potentially interact with them, and the last thing he needs is to be dealing with a pregnancy or sti scare. plus if he can play it safe with someone and have them think of him as a nice and trustworthy dude who just has a bonkers reputation, all the better for his batman activities!

idk i just feel like theres unexplored potential in a lot of that stuff bc so much of recent batman mythos is like HES SO HARDCORE AND CAN DO ANYTHING AND HES ALWAYS RIGHT CAUSE HES SO PARANOID AND DISRESPECTFUL OF PPL AND THEIR BOUNDARIES BUT ITS OKAY BC ITS IN THE NAME OF BEING RIGHT and im like. okay. gotta admit that i dont rly find that believable or in line with my values. can we talk about WE's sweet sweet employee benefits package and bruce designing his suit to take most of the impact off his knees when he jumps off a roof. members of the jl discovering that he gives shockingly balanced and insightful advice about their mundane personal problems. bruce printing his own batsymbol envelopes to leave people cash after he misaims his grappling hook and breaks their window. things of that nature.

[fecto-forgo]

how do you imagine zan interacting with each of the dream friends? sorry if thats a question thats asking for a lot.

never apologize for wanting me to write an essay regarding zan partizanne i would do that for a living if i could

nyways luckily zans the one responsible for announcing n showing off the dream friends on twitter so we can have some idea ! of that ! kinda ! as a base !

(note:ive previously answered regarding her feelings on marx, susie n magolor here! so i wont touch on them for this one)

animal trio:its her most brief tweet regarding the announced characters, so i dont think she rly has any thoughts on them ? she doesnt even bother w a nickname, so i imagine shes just neutral on them, lightly bothered rick n kine r notorious for slacking, maybe looks down on them a bit in a "wow my trio is sm professional n stronger than yours." way

gooey:gooey, along side void n the other generals, r the only characters who get nice nickname privileges from zan, in gooeys case v likely she recognized him as part of dark matter n immediately went for expressing appreciation for his holy existence in her peculiar little way (i recall someone pointing out zan has three naming ways for ppl:derogatory, cutesy affectionate n Extreme Respect By Using Full Name.not related just silly aside), i think shes Very Appreciative of gooey n therefore rly affectionate towards him but shes also rly religious abt him.like if a christian met jesus on the street.btw being gooey must be crazy yk nothing abt yourself or your origin n then you find out theres a cult for your species w sacrifices

adeleine/ribbon:throughout her tweets zan.rly goes in on insulting adeleine.like yeah her hairline comments but she keeps bringing up how adeleine seems weak n hides like a little girl (SHES LIKE 12 SHE IS A LITTLE GIRL!!!) n while zan usually atleast acknowledges others fighting skills before claiming shes better, for adeleine she instead insists on constantly bringing her down anyways even when shes surprised at her having a new skill, n her last tweet is literally "hah, im looking forward to facing you!" after commenting ado n ribbon r dancing around adorably, basically she seems to.lowkey hate her LMAO? the adeleine tweets r sooo important to characterizing zan constantly challenging ppl tho !!! she prides her own strength (she even calls herself a battle hardened warrior) a lot n constantly wants to prove it, n hates what she sees as weak or cowardly to the point she seems to lowkey want to teach ppl like that a lesson? so yeah no she has some weird personal one sided beef w adeleine that ado is prob so confused abt, she actually seems to ignore ribbon in her tweets so i imagine she just thinks of her as some extra to ado than a partner to take seriously

honestly shes prob projecting some stuff but thats another post n this is long enough of a paragraph already lol

DMK:not much on the tweets aside from the usual "I CAN BEAT YOU UP" (btw she sounds a bit excited abt it? shes so cute) i dont think she has much interest in him beyond "sounds fun to beat up".shed probably lose btw bc an essential part of zans ego is she does not realize her boss fight is designed to have safe spots bc shes not actually that good at this 🩷

daroach:she doesnt have much to comment but does compare daroachs leadership style to her own, knowing her shes prob gonna get competitive abt that, i cannot see daroach caring back beyond being annoying abt it for fun lol

taranza:so this one is fun bc i think taranza sympathizes w her quite a bit, yk whole "you ever absolutely adore your evil boss n they could not give less of a shit back?" n so he thinks he can help smooth the way into acceptance of trauma bc he did it by himself so he can help n itll be less lonely n hard if he does! n like.its coming from a good place! he rly does want to help.but ultimately their situations r crucially different in what ended up happening (sectonia died n taranza could tell when enough was enough, hyness survived n zan has.no awareness his behavior was bad shes in full acceptance he can treat her like that if he wants to) so what ends up happening is he just gets on her nerves. a lot.bc shes absolutely not anywhere near where taranza started after sectonia died, zan in the tweets acknowledges the similarities between them withhhhh no awareness of what happened to taranza after n honestly knowing her...ego problems shed probably think "what actually happened is you were not good enough, when i would fail lord hyness always found a way to still make me useful.i am simply better than you n you refuse to see it." taranza by some miracle still tries to atleast be friendly w her.he rly does want to help n be there when he can man

[solarwoniii]

GURLY WHAT HAPPENED

HAH a lot. wasnt planning on ranting ab it here BUT I LITERALLY HAVE NO ONE ELSE TO TALK TO SOOO (tw !! mention of eating disorders / anorexia pls read at ur own risk)

we had no school on friday so he invited me out to hang with a bunch of classmates and i was like omg !!! so i went and i found out it was a set up and there was actually no hang out w/ our classmates. he confessed to me and it was rly cute he seemed so sweet and genuine. he took me to the movies and we had the whole theatre to ourselves. it was really nice and he even kissed my hand at the end so i was like so in love haha little did i know

n e ways he walked me home and we talked ab stuff and he told me he's liked me for a while but didnt know how to say and i was like awww hes so cute and sweet and he wld never ever try to hurt me (foreshadowing) !!!!!

and then today there was this huge rager type party going on at one of his friends house which i originally wasnt planning on going to bc aaahhhh socialising party people alcohol bad decisions scary (shldve listened to my inner goody two shoes asian child self smh) but then he messaged me like 3 hrs before it started asking if i was coming and i was put on the spot and didn't know how to say no... so you know what my dumbass does?? I SAY YES. and then he gets all excited so im like 'omg i have to go im going to break his heart' (r u sure ure the one thats going to do that babe) and then i end up going.

as soon as i step in he sees me and comes and says hello to me and gives me a hug and calls me beautiful and im like omg !!! i love this man so much !!!!!

but AS WE ALREADY KNOW his friends are all walking red flags and as soon as i walk into the party theyre spewing nonsense (their idiot brains combined with the alcohol is NOT a good mixture. talk about ear torture). theyre saying shit about me and my friends as per usual and then one of them calls me anorexic.

AND THEIR MOTIVE FOR SAYIING THAT IS NOT JUST PLAIN OLD ABLEISM bc guess what !!! at the start of the year a rumour went around about me being anorexic 🥰😘😣🙄😭🥰🥰😍😣🙄 and why did this happen ??? oh because i talked to one of my friends about my eating disorder back then because i thought she was trustworthy (spoiler alert im not friends with her anymore) and then she decided to go and share it around to uni boys dumbass friends!!!

so yea they bring up that shit and im obviously hurt about it because im not responding. and im expecting uni boy to say something because UHM HELLO BARE MINIMUM ESPECIALLY IF YOU CARE ABOUT SOMEONE ENOUGH TO HUG AND KISS THEM AND SAY I LOVE YOU TO THEM

not only does this bitch say NOTHING in response to what his friend said about me HE (AND SOME OF MY OWN FUCKING FRIENDS) THINK ITS OKAY TO LAUGH AT THE JOKE.

so i just leave because fuck no im not dealing with this shit !!! for the last two hours uni boy and my friends have been blowing my phone up and i have been ghosting them.

i am dreading uni tmr hahahahaahahaahaha... pls pray 4 me

[yuukei-yikes]

What’s your opinion on Harushin (Haruka and Shintaro)? Can be either platonic or romantic

i love that u had to clarify who they are LMAOOO

hmm well i don't like them romantically. when it comes to the yuukei quartet ships I'd put them at the bottom 💔 mostly cuz i just dont ship haruka with anyone other than takane (but for some reason i pass takane around like a blunt) and also it means a lot to me that the reason haruka recognizes he loves takane is bc he defines shintaro as a friend but feels sad putting takane in the same category bc of the different feelings she entails.

and I HAVE THIS PET PEEVE that is a bit silly and nuanced. and it implies a lil bit of jin bashing so TOTAL AND COMPLETE DISCLAIMER i love jin's work and his characters and i immensely respect everything he's done for this franchise he shares with us and clearly loves. that said fuck his misogynistic fucking writing

i could go on and on and on abt that but to answer this ask specifically, i just HATE that shintaro is so nice to haruka and he's just a total ass to ayano and takane for no goddamn reason. takane was SO nice to him at first, could u imagine the good buddies they would've been if shintaro was fucking normal. and shintaro LITERALLY stands in a 2 hour line at the festival just to insult her😭😭😭 he didn't even KNOW her. he's like "u act like this big shot bc all these ppl fawn over you" as if takane hadn't been literally sobbing miserably the whole afternoon precisely bc people were fawning over her and she found it mortifying. bc ofc he didnt know that!! LIKE WHAT WAS THE DAMN REASON HE DID THIS HES CRAZY i will never know what was going thru jin's mind writing that bit but ig all i can do is imagine shintaro was like GIRLS CANT PLAY GAMES *SHAKING* i know im always talking abt shintaro and takane's friendship and how much i love them but god the writing in the hs days is just inexcusable like shintaro is so damn unlikable. i hate when they put him and takane in the same level of irrational arguers bc truly takane is just fucking defending herself. how would u treat a person who didnt even give u a damn chance and just says all that shit to u first meeting. and she's also speaking for ayano too cuz her ass wont defend herself. and also haruka wont say anything. like takanes fighting for her life in here i 10000% support her actions as ene cuz man fuck that guy i find it insane she still cared for him anyway

and it pisses me off that then we see him in novel 6 being totally capable of being a decent fucking person to haruka. like seriously what's his damage. also idk japanese but i THINK shintaro speaks in a polite manner to haruka and not to ayano and takane. obligatory joke im gay not bc i like men but bc i hate women etc etc etc

i could rly go on abt how much it annoys me haruka and shintaro's friendship is super developed opposed to ayano and takane's pathetic dynamic that doesnt pass the already stupid bechdel test (i actually ranted a lil bit abt it on my side twitter a few days ago if you wanna read it LMAO) (it starts as a thread abt harutaka but then i get sidetracked cuz...yeah) BUT THIS IS ABT HARUKA AND SHINTARO SO. yeah u could excuse it with shintaro being the protag and ofc getting a lot more focus on his relationships but still. i kinda resent this aspect of their dynamic so i don't like the ship teehee i just... i think haruka is way too good for him sorry shintaro my man. i say this while shipping shinaya i know but to be fair i make them go through hell in my mind before they can properly be happy together if at all. bc when i start going off abt all this stuff i also start resenting shinaya LMAOOO sometimes i say i like it out of nostalgia but then their whole story together and how theyre literally always destined to find each other (holds head) ok. thats aside the point. i have a complicated relationship to shinaya. it's all abt drawing the line between author and creation and how much u can say augh author is being annoying and augh character is just an ass on purpose. and compared to the pov of all the other kagepro characters, u can indeed see that sexism shit in all of it (i could whip out examples in a second)but on shintaro it is noticeably worse LOL

and again im not blaming fictional characters for author's misogyny, like someone is writing this duuuh which is why haruka never points it out but FROM MY insane perspective i interpret it as haruka recognizing the pattern but he's so damn spineless he can't bring himself to stand up for ayano and takane. he probably makes some comments that shintaro just dimisses and haruka is too nervous to bring them up again *me going off abt the internalized misogyny of fictional characters headcanoned based on the author being misogynistic*

ERM. ANOTHER REMINDER I LOVE KAGEPRO AND I RESPECT JIN FOREVER BC HE IS THE CREATOR OF ALL MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS. but also lol. doesn't mean i cant point out some of this stuff yknooooow

uhhh soooo platonic wise i love them. but its also not my favorite dynamic to explore, id repeat some of the stuff ive already written, it does bother me shintaro is Normal to haruka and not to ayano and takane and haruka acts like nothing. it's just a big thing that annoys me generally abt them lol and i find it tough to separate from author like i normally would with these weird things he includes because this bit is just a whole dynamic you know?? i could.... go on abt this but um. sorry ive been talking for a while. its definitely something im kinda bitter about in the writing.

but still they're definitely sweet, and i understand the appeal completely!!! these are just My thoughts i think its 2023 and i wont get death threats for not liking a ship anymore but also haruka is shintaro's bisexual awakening that is for damn sure. i like entertaining the onesided concept. shintaro being like hahahaha what if we kisssed like ayano and takane apparently did and haruka is like No thanks.

[celestie0]

ok i thought i would like kai and god how wrong i was ahhaha

when that thing with soccer ball happened i thought that satoru tried to intentionally kick it in kai’s face to create some distance between them💀 him being jealous and overprotective the whole chapter was so hot omg how do u make him so hot. 

i really don’t understand what kai’s goal was with that whole “interview”?? i mean i do but couldn’t he just tell her directly hey you’re just going to need to suck someone off if u want to succeed and not have her go through all of that and embarrass her?? or was the embarrassment the point?? also can we talk about how scary it is to go to a bar with 3 men that are basically strangers and shady asf, like i knew something was going to happen the moment that guy made a remark “you’re going to learn so much under him”. if i were her i would have went with satoru after he had pulled her over lolz but u can see how angry she was at him that she decided to ignore the red flags just to spite him

and the end with satoru saying that he’s going to help her and that she’s enough really shows the difference between him and kai. i hope the last 3 chapters are full of fluffff cause our girl has been going through itttt but i also hope she does make him beg and grovel just because of how bipolar he has been acting.

overall great chapter and definitely worth the wait!!! 

omg dear reader i love how fkn real u keep it always 😭🤣 AND THE LENGTH of ur asks im always so sobbed to see it 😭💕 thank u for taking the time

OMG pls tbvh i thought of that being the case (gojo kicking ball to kai) but changed my mind in the end loool but nah he was just distracted seein them tgthr. and aaa yea he was in overprotective mode this whole chap he just cant help getting involved w her 😭😭

yea i thought a lot ab kai’s motives in this chapter. he clearly likes/was attracted to her since the beginning, but when she rejected his kiss, he realized there’s not rly much to be built there (or in his mind she doesn’t “put out” easy 🙄),, so she lost favor w him and he pretended to look out for her just to be spiteful after that. i guess i liken it to guys that are only nice to girls if they’re attracted to them and/or provide them w something like sex or attention. i think in ch8 he was genuinely looking out for her (albeit not very compassionately), but after she rejected his kiss, he was like meh idc to be careful ab this anymore. but also, i think he himself didnt realize that she is pretty capable and actually has a decent resume/shot at the dreams he gave up on, so the more he learned ab it, the more insecure he became ab his own goals and also her rejection of him, and then bam he felt compelled to embarrass her (grade A asshole). but also, he got her hopes up w a decent sounding job, just to crush em, which he knew would add to the pain

and yea i think her red flag radar was goin off the whole time w kai and her friends but mannn i think she just was rly desperate given everything going on 😔 and yea i mean satoru was always gonna keep an eye on her for sure regardless, but she was angry w him, he was hurt by her, just not a good environment for mutual support and care to occur lmfao. ur so right tho that wld be such a terrifying situation to get yourself into

and i knowwwww reader went thru so fkn much this chapter i felt so bad 😭 but yeah there will probs be more than three chapters haha cuz i have a lot more stuff to cover, but it’s def satoru’s turn to obsessively pine over her lmao.

THANK YOU DEAR FOR THE ASK IM SORRY FOR MATCHING IT W AN EVEN LONGER ONE but your comments just spark sm of my thinking cells haha. hope to see you in the next one <333 💕💕💕

[enbiart]

ok i sent this b4 but you cleared out your inbox but that's okay! im glad you take steps to rid yourself of stress /gen

but you really are one of THE people that completely GET Kel, so i want to ask... what if he was in Aubrey's place. No Hero, all alone, no friends to be there when he was mourning, disastrous family, father leaving, the whole gig...

Basically, what if someone like Kel, with his character and personality, was put in Aubrey's position during those 4 years? What would he have gone through and how would he cope?

ok so like. i LOVE delinquent kel with a passion. let him GO OFF. realistically tho?? it would probably take someone antagonizing him first (and really hard) for him to take his frustrations off on other ppl. whereas aubrey, even as a kid, was really headstrong and pushy with a strong sense of justice (which, yknow, turns her to lash out at the world at the injustice of Everything Thats Ever Happened To Her) kel is a lot more..laid back. he'll whine and complain, but at the end of the day, whatevers happened happened. hes p gullible too. his sense of justice is moreso towards other ppl than himself, so if hes got NO support and some Bad Stuff Happens, he just kinda.... scoots around it. mentally. if that makes sense. its all over with and he cant change it, and no one else is bothered, so why address it?

the thing with kel is that he is really good at keeping distracted and occupied. hes good at covering stuff up. he likes to focus on other people to distract them from himself. u know that one kid in class that everyone likes but, like, no one even knows their favorite color? thatd be him. he lends u pencils if u ask and doesnt remind u to give it back. he shows u how to dribble a ball if he sees u struggling. if he says hi to anyone they will always say hi back. he fits into all the social circles!!!

...he just doesnt stay with any. not in a bad way i wouldnt think, hes not, like, flaking on anyone. but u wouldnt rly be suprised if he decided not to come to ur bday party, yknow, and ur not THAT torn up abt it either. its p well known that he prefers basketball to people, but also that hes too nice to straight up ask you to leave.

a well-liked misfit. doesnt rly talk abt himself and no one knows him too well, but ppl talk to him casually. a LOT of ppl. the gas station regular of everyones hearts.

i dont really think he'd hold much of a grudge against ppl for abandoning him, he's just...not a grudge person. if he gets angry its a one and done kinda thing. he would have a LOT of trouble letting them support him again. nothing against them, but like, he's got it handled, okay? (spoiler alert: he does NOT have it handled)

these arent well organized thoughts bc its ummmmm actually been awhile since i had omori brainrot 😔 but i did my best

[cicadangel]

erm.! diary 12/4

hi i havent been online in a bit or written any diary entries recently bc well i was really depressed and then i just like forgot or whatever. but uhmmm life updates sorta/just how im doing right now.

i will start with the good news :-) i am not depressed! ive been feeling good pretty consistently for the past 2 weeks i think? ive been happy enough to be able to function normally and do all the stuff i need to do. also school swim started so i got to see my crush (the one i talked abt a bunch last year) and i actually need him so bad he's so fine i need him. not much has happened w him (in terms of moments or whatever) but it will soon trust!!!!!! also ive been feeling a bit more confident lately in terms of how i think guys percieve me so i hope maybe that will inspire me to make a move but probably not. oh well.

as for everything else. well. i have been having issues with that one bitch "friend" ofc hoping to hit her with a car sometime soon. but thats not rly new ig. i am kind of having issues too tho with one of my other friends bc he's being weird and annoying. recently hes been extremely sensitive abt just everything which is whatever except he won't tell me, he'll just get upset and try to get me to ask him if he's upset except i won't play that game ugghhhhh if u have a problem with me tell me bc i wont understand otherwise!!! i cannot possibly fathom what he's got wrong with him about me so im not even gonna try. if he wants to fix it he can use his words otherwise no bueno it is not happening!!!!

he's also been like. weird to me recently. we're in psychology class together and we're gonna be at the "abnormal behavior" unit soon (which is mental illnesses) and he keeps saying ohhhh we're almost at your unit we're almost there when it's like stop thats actually so annoying. i am abnormal and crazy but that's not ur place to say? i dont talk to my friends abt my mental illness struggles but i guess it is obvious there's smth wrong with me or whatever but it's just annoying. i will talk abt how im against involuntary commitment to psych wards and how sooooo many therapists only end up doing more harm than good and my problems with the whole mental health industry and the modern understanding of it bc it's smth im rly passionate abt, but he just brushes me off as if i dont have first hand experience with all of the terrible ways psychiatry and the mental health industry can fuck people up???? i also feel weird talking to him in general sometimes bc i know he'll bring me up to his therapist (because he constantly mentions it) and i feel like i cant talk to him bc he's gonna tell her and that just puts a weird strain on the relationship. like his therapist knows me, but just from his pov and that kinda weirds me out im ngl.

oh i also got in a fight w my mom today. actually we're still fighting. it was over something soooo insignificant but i got so overly angry like i always do and now im going to make it ruin the rest of my day because i am insufferable. she's just been really angering me lately also ive been feeling destructive which is complicated. i dont rly like the term "splitting" but it's def what ive been doing a lot lately. ugh. also i like dont know what to do with my bpd "diagnosis" it makes me angry and like i just have so many problems with it in so many ways REGARDLESS if i actually have it or whatever which i could talk abt for hours. in some ways it's nice to have a label for what ive been going through my whole life but in most ways i am like not too happy with the fact that ive been handed a disqualification from ever being upset again. if i am, it'll just be because im a crazy borderline! ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anyway. more on that whole mess later sorry

[a1li-ens]

hello if ur still. willnignto talkab slow damage i would lvoeee to knoe ur thoughts on the other love interests and also towa himself as a character ! :3

IM ALWAYS DOWN TO TALK ABOUT IT YIPPEE!! ⭐

adding a cut to this i have a lot of thoughts lol (💖・ω・) (includes spoilers)

👨‍⚕️taku: OK HE IS MIXED FOR ME i like him in routes other than his own LOL i think hes rly fun as like a semi normal acting guy in weirdo town. Its cute he cares a lot about the ppl at the clinic and i like the scenes where he hangs out and eats with towa and rei so much its cute they are a silly family 😭

i think hes really fun as a nice dad or at least big bro in towas life but that is why i dont like his route romantically its WEIRD THAT WAY LOL... bro u have known towa way too long for this.. please fall for some other dilf or something!! his bad end was too much for me and i have a strong stomach !!! (less so the bugs and more the meth slave thing .. get a better hobby sir!!)

but otherwise i like him! him doing meth warcrimes besides the bug related ones are interesting and the whole mansion part of his route was rly cool and fun to read!! also hes just funny i love that hes always responding to things like -_-????

i like the breaking bad pictures.

🍰Rei: I LOVE REI SO MUCH so cute 😭 his was my second fav route in general! hes so sweet and its so cute how much hes always thinking about everyone 😭 i also love how he has so many hobbies he has!! I didnt quite like his route as much from a plot/worldbuilding perspective as much as some of the others+the moneymatch stuff in general was kinda not as interesting just because i think its like. nothing super new or exciting i guess! but im a character writing person so that doesn't bother me lol!

I rly love his self love / acceptance journey.. i am emotional.. even if I visually hate his stupid tiny haircut!! i hope he can lean back into some of his not traditionally manly side after he is comfortable with gender stuff 🥺

I think as a romance route his was rly nice!!! it was cute and sweet and its sweet the ways they support eachother 🥺💖 towa feels very like affectionate in a cat way towards him its cute! I like them as bffs maybe more they are just too cute that way 😭 i want to b reis friend as well

his bad end is GOOD !! towa looks COOL i like the corset ribbons.. i want to see a full body CG what else has he done!! wasnt expecting rei to be the eye pussy one but ill take it .

🐈Madarame: OK.. first half of his route i rly hated him SORRY TO FANS but thinking back on it and playing more i dont hate him now LOL I feel like even after playing i don't know enough about him as i'd like! i want to know what this bitch does in his spare time other than towa lol ?? its cute that he likes cats and i liked him and the boys all eating pizza!! the towa infiltrating in the cute suit part was rly fun too! i wanted to see him talk to mayu and kotarou and stuff more he doesn't talk heaps in general tho hfjhfh

regarding them as boyfriends i am a sappy romance person so their type of affection isn't my normal preference but it suits them! I think that why it was kind of hard to get through the start besides me never rly liking the ⭐problematic guy⭐ route in VNs LOL! but im glad in both endings they are so happy but was a nice surprise! yeah boys u have fun!!

🐇 fujieda : FUJI... I WROTE A LOT IN THE LAST ASK trying to think of new info i didnt write there. I love that he is actually kind of an airhead LOL i feel like he would be rly worried when towa said he caught ligma...... him before he teams up with towa is funny too like how often is he hiding in that concrete pipe???? is he comfy?? i love him.

theres prob more i haven't said about him but ill leave it at his lovingly drawn bazongas for now.

🎨towa: I LOVE TOWA.... LIKE OK... my skrunkly.. initial impressions i love every manslut character by default and he is very nice to look at. his personality is so fun omg what a bitch!!! i love that for him.i am biased because its also my dayjob but him being a medical receptionist is so funny LMFAO he seems terrible at it go king give us nothing !! obviously his hobbies make him rly fun to read about, i rly like his art hes good at it!!

plot and everything else wise UOUGHhhhh he makes me emotional. i am having trouble articulating about him because of this KJHBJHB no matter the routes i love watching him open up his feelings a bit 😭 the way he actually cares about people close to him even though hes been trying to convince himself he doesn't need other ppl gets to me 😭 his vulnerable moments make me emo... him wanting to see fujis scars in the shower especially got to me 🥺😭

his backstory stuff is rly well done too i think his mental health is rly well done in general 😭 but its kinda refreshing its not all magically better either afterwards boys got a lot to work through!!! but i am so glad he can smile in fujis route.. .uuuuu😭😭😭

I rly like how hes upfront and shameless about being gay and a weirdo yeah king own it!!! him being snarky and cheeky all the time is cute too!! i have more to say but i need to work out how to write it. he is important 2 me💖

-----

quick thoughts on non datable character stuff:

Ikuina - I LOVE HIM SOOO MUCH i like guys who are so horny they become useless. his euphoria scene is really great LOL i know they dont but it would be fun if he and towa could be friends afterwards. can someone hack the game give him a route .

asakura- HIS TASTES ASIDE i think he was actually really interesting and cool to read about!!!! the angel thing was dope.. towa getting the wings.. so COOL

the guy in reis chap 2 mizuno was it??? was that his brothers name??? anyway i wasnt that interested in him LOL not much to say here

Mayu - SLAY HIS ENDING IS SOOO FUNNY.. stan a guy with like 3-4 clear nendoroids i like him

kotarou- ending should have been in a cleaner bathroom !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Eiji- I LOVE EIJI HE IS SOOOO CUTE AND FUN

SORRY TO WRITE AN ESSAY THERE IS SO MUCH I DONT THINK IVE EVEN ADDRESSED HERE LMFAO GAME TOO GOOD!!

[splattermouth]

Adaman for the ask meme!

ADAMAAAN ive come around to him a lot, compared to when i first played thru pla. 

(Also mind you its been a while since ive played and i took iridas route over adamans so i dont know. Every little detail about him. But i like him <3)

favorite thing about them: he’s so fucking funny, i love that hes like the straight man of hisui. Adaman is so fucking normal (genuine), and literally everyone else around him has like a secret bit they have to commit to or theyll die. And like he just has to deal w it. Like all of it. Everyone’s nonsense all the time. You can tell he’s so tired and he’s just trying to keep it together

Also obligatory, but his design is soo fucking killer. Ive only recently actually sat down to draw him n hes just so fun. So well shaped. I like irida’s design on its own a lot, but like compared to adaman? they did her so dirty.

least favorite thing about them: I WISH WE GOT MORE OF A BACKSTORY WITH HIM UGGH i hate to compare him to Irida sm here, but she got like. A very clear story of struggling to accept her new position as clan leader after being abruptly shoved into it. Of the rest of her clan either having insanely high expectations for her, or in Palina’s case, feeling like she didn’t deserve the position.

I get Adaman’s whole thing was Supposed to be that he struggled to earn respect from the rest of the Diamond Clan until Dialga outright Possessed him (which that part is fucking sick. For the record), but i wish they just made it more apparent that. That’s What was supposed to be happening lol. 

Because idk, at least to me, definitely the rest of the clan members were kinda bratty, but i never got the impression they were that way specifically Because they thought Adaman was a weak leader, you know? I didn’t even like realize that’s what was supposed to be happening until like. Reading a few other posts abt Adaman’s position in the story dhdfhgkg Good and interesting ideas w his arc just poor and kinda rushed execution imo!!

favorite line: that one fucking line @ irida towards the end of the main game that was like. ‘I don’t think our rivalry is a Diamond and Pearl Clan thing. I think it’s just a You and I thing.’

lives in my brain.

brOTP: for the love of god i need him and irida to be friends that fucking hate each other.

They are at each others throats over Everything, they will argue Everything just for the sake of arguing, if they every agree w each other on any matter they will both collapse on the spot. They are so sick of each other, but also they are best buddies and no one knows them like They know the other. It’s so fun…

OTP: AH im sorry he’s very aro to me. Both bc I don’t think there’s rly a lot of ppl he could be shipped with anyway, but also he does not strike me as someone who has a romantic interest in. like anyone.

He strikes me as a chaste bisexual man who has never felt an ounce of infatuation for another person in his life. He’s just very buddy-buddy w a lot of people, and he’s happy w that <3

nOTP: so i wouldnt say its a notp bc i dont like. vehemently Hate it, and i think there Could be potential. but im sorry, appraisalshipping makes me kinda :/ a fair amount of the time.

Some stuff is cute, yeah, but most of it is just reeks of ‘i only watch/read/play things for shipping and specifically to ship gay prettyboy twinks’ to me. Adaman and Volo have maybe had all of five lines w each other.

I think there could genuinely be something cool to explore there, like contrasting just how immediately trusting Adaman appears to be of Volo? Compared to Irida who calls Volo's bluff right off the bat for being way too friendly w the protag to be completely genuine. With Adaman just tending to be a more open and friendly person than Irida. Adaman putting his faith in someone he absolutely Should Not just because hey! Adaman’s just a nice person like that! He's not gonna be mean to this guy he just met just bc he's a little overeager! But like god knows no one has any interest exploring That dynamic lmao.

anyway if you ship like adaman/akari im legally allowed to break all of your fingers, slowly and individually

random headcanon: I think he should be like 5’5” at most. He’s short and he’s fat i know this in my heart of hearts.

Also despite always talking about utilizing the time he has to the fullest, he doesn’t strike me as someone that pushes himself or other ppl to constantly be Doing and Accomplishing things, so much as he tries to make every moment meaningful and wants others to do the same. I don’t think he’s all that headstrong as some people may describe him, and i dont think he’d necessarily be someone that thinks like. Taking a nap is a cardinal sin. I think he just wants people to put their limited time on this world to something that matters to them rather than petty bullshit (like arguing w the pearl clan sdhk).

ALSO also less an adaman specific headcanon, but i do personally like to think most of the diamond clan are family, or at least all the main members we see. I know hes canonically brother to melli and mai i think? But i think theyre all one big dysfunctional family and theyre why iscan never leaves the coastlands to visit anymore.

unpopular opinion: i dont think hes boring sorry!! Im guilty of think this at first as well tbf but MAN. going back to the what i dont like abt him thing. Knowing now thats what his whole character arc is supposed to be just makes me :(. He wants to be a good leader and he loves his friends and family a lot and takes such good care of them and they literally like. Do not care until dialga outright tells them to take its little thrall seriously for once. Man. man. 

song i associate with them: DHGJKDFH Animal Collective Merriweather Post Pavilion on main. My Girls feels very adaman-core.

favorite picture of them: So theres like zero actual canon art of him outside of just ingame screenshots but i do like this breezy lil adaman here. annoyed…

[sonic-love-island-official]

gonna post a convo rq bw me n my sister for later reference

arcs / observations / Knuckles Stuff mostly

her: the hedgie boy def get jealous of each other all the time

me: all the time. i think they all kinda wish they were one of the other ones. except maybe sonic bc i think he loves himself a little too much

her: they are so funny like that

me: they rlly are. shadow wishes he had more of sonic's endearing, approachable traits. silver wishes he was anyone but himself bc all he is is 'nice'. and sonic loves himself bc sElf lOvE yOu KNow. in fact, let's be real for a sec: everyone kinda wishes they were sonic and that's just how sonic is

her: even knux and thats sad

me: yeah :(( and i think it's sonic's charisma that knuckles wants bc he's one of the ones that struggle with socialising since he's been isolated on angel island for so long. which is why he tries to hard to be funny and for ppl to like him

her: poor knuc

me: when u think abt it, he hardly lets his guard down and is constantly trying to be someone he's not to fit in. that's also why he can't be honest with rouge right away

her: NOOOOOOOOOOO im gonna cry

me: it's always been there man. you've seen it. knuckles is actually very intelligent in his own special way. he's not smart in the ways that everyone else is, but he has a knack for stuff no one else does. knuckles is constantly under pressure bc he hasn't spent as much time around people as someone like sonic or silver or amy has. knuckles has ALWAYS been awkward and he's trying. he's just trying his best

knuckles secretly knows a lot but never shows it bc everyone has right off perceived him as 'dumb'. their mistake, as they later see

her: STOP PRETENDING KNUCKLES

me: LITERALLY. i think it needs to be a part of his character arc. if not his WHOLE character arc

her: I think by the end everyone knows that he's hiding his true self

me: shadow was fs one of the first to clock this. shadow says little observations abt each of the characters throughout the thing and i like that. it shows that even tho he looks like he doesn't care, he's keeping tabs on everyone's behaviour. especially The Elusive knuckles, i reckon. bc he's closest to rouge

her: I believe even rouge notices it but she hates that its true and he's good for her cause he has brains

me: they have their own personal issues that end up conflicting with one another bc knuckles can't be himself and rouge refuses to stop sabotaging every good thing she has bc she doesn't rly feel like she deserves it. rouge only acts like a bitch bc she doesn't know how else to be when presented with something seriously meaningful

idk how this conversation went from: everyone sorta wants to be sonic to Psychological Analysis of Knuckles

[webslingingslasher]

hiii it's sleepover anon again :’) another long update ahahah. i was able to talk to them the day after my bday thru vid call!

they basically said that they were talking abt me bc it was just randomly brought up when they were tgt waiting for me to arrive to bff1's house on the day of the sleepover/dinner party, and they thought that me being delusional over the guy was funny.. i mean, sure yeah it is pretty funny but 1) someone *must* have brought it up bc how else would that convo even happen while they were waiting for me 😭 i don't believe it was "random".. 2) they were still laughing abt me behind my back ? i mean, yk we could've done that together lol bc i rly was silly ngl. but i said that i'm not ashamed about it even if they think i was being too much bc first of all that guy actually showed interest and he implied lots of times that he did like me sooooo it's only natural to feel that way ? 🙁 i wasn't going to not let myself not feel anything abt it bc i just wanted to have fun 😭 and even if he was sus, which we all thought at first b4 i got close to him, i stuck around w him bc he was the only person i knew in one of my classes cuz we were also classmates in the previous term.. then we got close bc we helped each other n yk stuff happened but it was also for the sake of common decency. and i rly was just fucking around to find out bc i wanted to know even tho he was sus.. and now i know and there's actual proof that he's just not it. i wasn't going to cut him off or smth without reason or proof lol i'd end up being the bad guy despite what we all thought ab him at first :// but now i do have a good enough reason that i can back up n thats why i stopped talking to him. simple as that

also bff2 alr felt bad enough bc she realized that drunk her isn't a good person so i didn't feel the need to crush her abt the stuff she said abt our other friend lmaooo.. i could've but nah she was alr depressed enough i'm just glad she's aware now. i did mention it tho and i said it was just plain mean..

but it's also quite funny to think they were making fun of me for being so head over heels when they don't even have experience 😭 they don't even know what it's like to have someone interested in them at least.. like one time when i was talking to him for like 2 whole days, bff2 once told me she was jelly of me and him bc she's never gotten to talking stage w anyone.. n then after all that they were laughing abt me like lol ok :\\

anw i just told them that i don't appreciate how they talked abt me without my presence bc whatever they said to each other was smth they could actually say to my face.. it's smth i'd laugh abt too yknow.. but they apologized tho which is good but honestly i don't rly trust them now after all that.. their insecurities spilled onto their perception of me + our other friend like yikes i don't rly want insecure friends who laugh abt me behind my back i want supportive and non-judgmental ones!! it's not even hard to be kind 😭 glad i went to that sleepover n that i went thru him tho even tho it was just bs bc i found out the truth abt my friends.. bottom line is i don't have trustworthy friends so i'm just going to keep my distance.. we r still 'friends' i don't want to cut them off but i'm just not telling them anything anymore and i'm not talking to them unless they msg to talk to me first or if i need them for smth lol

anw thats it for this whole drama thank you sm for listening omg HAHAH 😭😭💗💗 also jsyk i am one of the emoji anons haha i just didn't rly want to associate the drama w it but yes. tysm for the safe space u created on here<33 and thank you for taking ur time to always talk to us even if it's a lot to go thru one by one🥹🫶🫂❤️‍🩹

WAIT UR AN EMPJI ANON?????? NAH CAUSE NOW IM TRYA FIGURE IT OUT

also!!! let’s go boundary queen!!! nice to know it was all bc they’re jealous.

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

bladee show summary:

(putting under read more cus its Long)

☯️ he sang so many songs from the fool, a couple mechatoks, but also a lot of songs from red light n exeter. it was a good balance...he did imaginary from exeter which was so ethereal.. and botox lips ?!?!? we were all stunned he pulled that one out

💟 crowd was so fun and happy,. big sense of camaradarie. i was standing there for like an hour b4 the set started to secure my spot so i overheard lots of funny stuff. there was a guy who wld hold up a copy of halo 3 and everyone would start chanting HALO 3!!! HALO 3!!!!

🛐 (this is the most insane part of the whole show for me.) so, like 2 hours before the set, it started to get rly cloudy. n i thought to myself, yea, its gonna rain for bladee's set, it just has to! waiting, waiting, the clouds getting darker but still no rain. then about 5 mins before his set begins, light raindrops. i was like haha...ok.. here we go... he comes on, and first song he plays is the fool intro. and it was like, as soon as it came on, it started POURING. and then, there's that lyric:

and as he sang it he just like smiled and shrugged and i was like oh. my god. its clicking. he summoned this?!'?,?! he summoned this, like, he made it rain for us. and magic is real. i was too overwhelmed to even cry, but i cry now processing it. we drained the sky & the sky drained us. how could i even try to put it into words. it was just angelic. n i thought, "ok now i bet the rain is gonna stop as soon as this ends." and sure enough, the rain poured down for his entire set, then just abruptly halted as soon as it was over. didnt rain again for the rest of the night. like how did he do that. guys how did he. do that

✝️ at the beginning of his set i had to face a trial from this dude who weirdly targeted me. he kept trying to mosh, but it was clear that he like, was young n didnt understand crowd etiquette. like we were standing close to the sidelines, n it was obvious no one else but this one dude was trying to get thrashed about. and he also just weirdly kept coming for me, altho my friends were trying to block it. i was giving him benefit of the doubt at first but as it went on n was clear he was disturbing everyone around us...i knew i had to put a stop to it. so i had a Power moment. like i somehow developed blood devil strength n when he came towards me again i grabbed him by the neck of his shirt, w both hands, and THREW him into the ground FACE first jfbsshshah. it looked painful and i laughed at him menacingly. it was so feral of me but like. he had to learn. and he immediately just got up n fucked off. then everyone peacefully danced and had fun together after that! cus none of us wanted to mosh, we are drainers bro! i did feel kinda bad cus i am generally pro-moshing but there are unspoken rules yknow. no one had opened up a pit, we werent even close to the middle, there was lots of girlies around me in their tiny outfits n precarious platforms, it wasnt cool of him. moshing can b the most fun in the world when its done rite w/ ppl who get it. i will admit, it was a great release of all my pent up rage to commit a little violence. and commit it in such a way that it actually just benefitted everyone around me. all while im wearing a frilly petticoat and fake puppy ears and bladee is singing be nice to me. The Glory Is Mine :) also, after the show, my friends confirmed that he was weirdly targeting me and aiming for me specifically even when they'd try to block him. no clue why but that made it all the more satisfying that i was the one to shut him down.

♈️ a girl in the crowd who i dont know handed me a bottle of poppers and i was like yeah ok fuck it. took a whiff n just passed it onwards.

💟 he left immediately after the set ended so no one got to meet him but i dont mind. im so happy w the experience he gave us. i cant blame him for wanting to leave cus there was sooo many people at the festival it wouldve caused chaos if he'd tried to meet fans. also they didnt bring any merch which was kinda sad but o well!! im too broke to b spending my money on that rn anyways lol

☯️ he was wearing a walgreens hat and didnt take off his sunglasses the entire time. he was also wearing white gloves.

🛐 after the show we hung around, watched 100gecs but my feet were Kill so stayed at the back. it was rly good, they played hand crushed by a mallet and 800db cloud, my two fav songs by them.. hand crushed by a mallet lyrics rly had me in my feelings thinking about saint.

🕉 after that the festival ended n everyone was talking about this after party laura was playing at meow wolf but it cost like $40 to get in. n we were like...so tired...not paying for that...but... well, eleanor is rly tite w the people who started meow wolf, who were there at the festival. so she pulled some strings n got us in for free. like my body was dying but i knew i had to go on. and it was so fucki g worth it. omg. before lauras set our meow wolf friends took us thru all these exhibits that are usually packed with people but they were completely empty for us. it was UNREAL. i took so many pictures, mostly on my digital camera cus my phone was almost dead, gona upload them to my laptop in a bit so i can post some. it was so massive and beautiful and layed out so thoughtfully. felt like something id dream of as a child. we played and explored for half an hour or so until laura's set started. which i already talked about, it was legendary, she is so fucking funny and dope. truly inspiring confidence and stage presence. watching her drunkenly fight the sound guy was so beautiful. like she rly just wanted to play her songs and party all night :") i wouldve gone all nite if they'd let her. sometimes dylan would put on a song n it'd be like some rly complex n unique hyperpop song then laura would come back n put on kesha. it was truly madly deeply iconic, so so glad 2 be a part of it.

💟 all in all, it was so much more than i ever couldve expected. it felt better than a dream. all day i thought about saint so much and i saw them in everything. i think there's no better way i couldve honor my friend and everything their life stood for. i really feel like they were there with me, and they were divinely intervening in their own ways. im really happy. i feel a renewal of faith in my heart and reassured that i am still able to enjoy myself. life can still be beautiful...loss and gain... we just have to go on and transmute the pain into beauty however we can. i love u guys very much, if u read all of this, thats so cool and i love you. #<3.

[bunycube]

Hello!! i just saw your answers :') sorry it took some time!

aaaa i keep hearing lots of good stuff about Lamento but I'd have to find somewhere to download it tho I'm bad at installing games like that ,_, i did it for re:connect and it was a pain and took forever to figure out lol

i haven't played slow damage either! but i heard about the english release which is nice 👀

i only played TnC, sweet pool and dmmd .. it's funny because i never heard of any of those games before the beginning of this year :') i also prefer Sweet pool to TnC , just the whole general vibe i don't really know how to explain why tho x)

while i do love Tetsuo, Youji is alright too but for unknow reasons Zenya has stolen my heart :"))) and it's funny because i was expecting Makoto to be maybe the only "sweet" ending or something LOL it ended up being the most unhinged lmao i would have liked more than 1 ending option with Zenya and Makoto too ~

as for TnC Nano is my absolute favorite! i was also suprised with Motomi when i did his route i really fell in love with it too

currently listening to the sweet pool OST on repeat :')

rambled a lil so putting my answer under the cut!

OH HI HI HIIIII dony even worry abt it! man lamento is a pain to download i could only figure it out after looking at a youtube tutorial u have to dl all this extra stuff for it too its 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 but it was worth it for me!!! such a beautiful game, tho its so long.

WERE STILL WAITING FOR THAT ENGLISH TRANSLATION LMAOOOOO IM DYING OVERNEHRE I CANT DO THIS ANYMROE I WANNA PLAY OT SO BAD!!!;÷^#^@^$^#&

hehe i only got to know abt the other chiral games late in last year...b4 that i only knew dmmd 😭 tho im glad i found out its been keepint me going since then nsbfdbsb

oh same same same i cant rly explain what i love so much abt sweet pools overall setting and atmosphere its so quiet and kinda peaceful but also a lil ominous? it always feels like smth bad is goinf to happen, which it does. i guess...but yeah theres always that feeling of "something is happening" in the air even in ordinary scenes, and it feels kinda nostalgic..the setting..idk. i love the lgihting and stuff in it too and the muted colours hmm yes.

ill be honest i didnt like tetsuo for a rlyyy long time. i still feel he has a bit of a cardboard box personality but he has his moments, and i dont hate him or anything..youji is very close 2 me tho im very fond of him.hes liek a friend to me, idk why tho..and same!!!! zenya is ky fav char i liked him from his first appearance!!&$^@ he seemed like such an entertaining n interesting personality?#,%,# and thd mroe i got to know abt him the more itneresting hsi char got..

ik zenya has done many bad things and it disgusted me also, but overall i still thought he was pretty well written n hes definitelyyy my favourite chsr hes jsut so interestimg i could write a whole analysis on him i think..i should..tho i never want zenya n youji to interact they should be kept entire cities apart imo in fact zenya himself should jsut move away farrr away drom his dad and all thid bs i think.

plsss there r no sweet endings in sweet pool 😭😭😭😭 tho just for my own happiness i like to imagien a universe where youji n makoto actually get to rebuild their relationship post hospital scene, anf they all hang out like they had planned...CRIES....

hmm abt tnc id say rin is my fav i loveeee his personality his design (NOT HIS POST TIME SKIP DESIGN THAT OUTFIT IS UGLYYYY) !! i liked nano in routes that werent his, but his route left such a bad taste in my mouth i cant bring myself to enjoy him anymore 😢 he still looks very comfy cozy tho, which i appreciate! i knew id love motomi from the start bc hes a dilf character (which is My Type) and i heard hes really kind n sweet so i lovedddd him! i love akira also <3 and i unfortunstely kinda like gunji too im sorry im SORRYYYY HES TERRIBLE HE WAS JEUT RLY ENTERTAINING tho his ending was obv painful to sit through. im sorry !!!&#^$ and i lvoe akiractoo so much more than i expected? hes a good kid <33

IM RAMBLING TOO MUCH ILL SHUTCUP NOW SBFBSB TY FORNTHE ASKKK

[self-hatred-h00die]

tw for sh + nsfw ment //

todays like, the first day i haven't cvt in a long while. it's been everyday lately. i got to spend almost the whole day with my bf- he came over 2 my house n it was rly fun .//. he's so nice to me- like i genuinely don't know how to react. i feel so safe and calm and stable with him. like an actual normal person instead of a walking bag of disorders. but at the same time, i can be open with him about everything. literally everything. he doesn't tell me to "just stop," but he gently discourages the bad stuff i do to myself. it's easier because he shs and kinda has an ed too, so he can actually relate and understand what im going through.

im like. kinda covered in hickies and bitemarks currently lmao. looking at them makes me not want to sh for some reason ?? like already having markings. and i feel really calm and happy. i just don't feel like cvtting tonight at all.

on another note, i let him use my phone and laptop today so we could watch some stuff together and listen to music; he showed me a lot of rly interesting stuff and it was so nice to see him passionate and excited about it all. he noticed my search history though and asked me about the "bpd favorite person" search (ive been researching bpd a lot recently as i really suspect i may have it. it's crazy how well the symptoms describe me. id bring it up with my therapist if i still saw her) and he asked if he was my fp. i kinda told him im not sure and it was just something i thought i might have, but that uhm yeah very much so

he said we'll talk about it later so qwq it seems like he knows more about fp stuff than i do based on how he reacted. like i genuinely don't know if having an fp is a good thing or a bad thing?- i don't want him to feel pressured to stay with me ever and i never want to make him upset. i really can't help the way i feel for him- helplessly devoted and obsessed. my emotions revolve around him and our interactions completely. if i feel even the slightest hint of upset or rejection it sends me spiraling.

i hope we can talk about it and how to deal with things in a healthy way for both of us. that's really what i want.

i miss him so much T^T id kill to be able to spend the night with him, cuddled up and warm together .///.

and i love that he lets me play with his hair ;//; he has rly long hair and it's nice to pet-

and he pet my hair earlier which was .//. really nice

fuck im just rambling at this point

anyway i love him like way more than i can even process basically