#and he hurt marc’s feelings! but that doesn’t make him the devil

[moonshynecybin]

What do you think about Vales hypocrite tendencies like everything he has criticised Marc for is something he himself has done like i try to figure it out and give up because i think he’s slightly insane and that’s what make him fun to watch but I do feel bad for Marc being on the other side of that like the title loss on 2015 really fucked with Vale and in turn really fucked up Marc but in a totally different ways

i think it’s hot

[jks1uv]

𝑆𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝐺𝑜𝑜𝑑 ; steven grant | one-shot |

summary: you reckon your boyfriend deserves something good after the terrible day he’s had.

pairing: fem!reader x steven grant.

trope: established relationship + guy has a bad day, girl makes it all better.

genre: fluff + mild angst + romance.

warnings‼️: donna’s bitch ass 😒 i HATE her bro oh my godd + crude language + steven’s had it rough + suggestive (they make-out for a lil bit, reader wears lingerie) + heavily implies sex.

word count: 1,761.

random disclaimerrr: heard MashedPotato’s full Birthday x Pillowtalk remix on soundcloud & GYAT they cooked 🙏🏽 italics = steven’s inner thoughts & bold = marc’s inner thoughts. psa: steven grant is my pretty princess 😊 happy reading! ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ ♡ © 2024 @jks1uv

────♡♡♡────

Steven’s upset. You hate when he’s upset. In your eyes, he deserves nothing but good things and a full night’s sleep.

Alas, he can’t have both.

He sighs into the phone and you can hear the exhaustion in it. You can almost feel it, too.

“‘m just ready to come home to you.” He chuckles dryly.

“Oh.”

You don’t know what to say to that.

It’s times like this when you wish you could handle another person’s problem.

You know how much of a bitch his boss, Donna, is. You don’t believe her. You can’t fathom just how annoyingly rude, pathetically rude, and disrespectfully rude someone can be, let alone to Steven.

He’s your golden boy, the best man alive. The love of your life.

How can someone hurt the feelings of a guy that doesn’t have a single bad bone in his body?

To know he’s being treated like shit and know you can’t do anything about it irks your soul.

“Alright, love, I’ve gotta go. But I’ll see you tonight?”

You beam at his reminder. “Mhmm.”

“I love you.”

You’ll never get tired of hearing that.

“I love you.” You echo with butterflies swarming around your ribs.

You end the call and think about every time Steven’s had to go through a rough patch because of her; the Devil incarnate.

And maybe that’s a bit of an overkill but you digress. She is a bacon dripping, miserable, awful, obtuse angle of a two-faced cunt.

And you know what else? Maybe you will do something about it.

────♡♡♡────

Your boyfriend is exhausted.

It’s nothing like tiredness after a night’s work of acting as Khonshu’s right hand, but it’s something.

His eyes threaten to close on him not too long before his body starts to weigh heavier each step he takes.

Just gotta make it to the elevator.

He’s hopeful, but it doesn’t last long. There’s a dreaded sign that forms the letters he wishes weren’t there.

Out of order. Use the stairs.

He stares blankly at the white piece of paper with the black, bold words staring right back at him. As if it’s mocking him.

He sighs deeply and begrudgingly moves up the four flights of stairs. Every time he blinks, he imagines his bed.

It's not too hot but not too cold.

You’re in your designated spot right next to him, curled up under the blanket watching some movie.

Steven fishes for his key to open up his little paradise.

It’s almost dark. The only sources of light being the outside hallway he stands in and the faint orange tint emitting from the direction of his bedroom.

“Love?” He calls out.

You don’t answer him. You want him to come to you and see for himself so you wait. Patiently, excitedly.

He closes the door and passes by his reflection where Marc is telling him to follow the light.

She’s in there, I can feel her.

“I know.” He hums softly.

Steven can feel Jake’s curiosity.

The mysterious man doesn’t talk much but when his presence is needed, his actions tend to speak for him.

Steven knows this because he could feel the restlessness in the brooding man when you wouldn’t pick up your phone— a curse of your ringer always being on silent mode.

“What’s going on-?”

His mouth dries up. His jaw goes slack and his eyes are cartoonishly large.

Wide awake now, huh?

Steven doesn’t bother to answer. Not when he’s too busy gawking at you.

You’re on your side, an elbow propped up to give your head an angle of his entrance. Your legs are slightly bent at the knee and your other arm rests on the curves of your side.

Lacy red lingerie and the warm, rich smell of amber cloud his senses.

You see him visibly change; his shoulders drop their tension, he straightens up his back a bit and the muscles on his face relax.

You definitely don’t miss the way his dark eyes run a trail across your body and when they meet your eyes, you recognize him.

“Go back inside, Marc.”

He scoffs. “Oh, come on. Seriously?”

Your face doesn’t change and when he realizes he won’t change your mind, he retreats.

“Alright, alright.” He raises both hands to show complacency.

“But I’ll be watching.”

He winks at you and before you can scold him, he’s gone. Left just as fast as he appeared.

Your sweet Steven is still blushy and nervous, his gaze darting all around the room. From the candles to the rose petal covered bed.

He picks up a petal and blinks.

He’s touched.

“All this… f’me?” He asks so gently, it melts your heart.

You sit up at the front of the bed; he’s between your knees and he looks down at you while you look up at him.

“Why, you expecting someone else?” You lightly tease.

You press a kiss into the side and he smiles bashfully.

You stand from the bed and he backs up a bit to give you space but you quickly close it.

Your arms wrap around his neck and he gulps. His hands are a bit shaky but he still has an ounce of courage to place them on your hips. His fingers subconsciously press into the flesh.

You pull him closer and his eyes zero in on your painted lips.

“I know you’re probably tired from today,” You murmur. “but I don’t want you to think about that right now.”

You pry a stubborn curl away from his face and bask in his gaze. The pad of your finger traces along the edge of his nose and he laughs through his nose.

His chin turns downwards but you tilt it back up. His eyes look back and forth between yours, searching for the comfort he’s desperate for. And you give it to him.

You press a soft kiss to his forehead, one to his nose, and a last one to his lips.

He melts into your affection and his mind slips away from the terrible recollection of that day’s past events.

His hold on your hips warm your cold, almost-naked body. Your lips intertwine with his and you hear him mumble.

“What did you do?” He muses.

You throw your head back and giggle incredulously.

“What did I just say!”

He smiles at the sound of your joy but he couldn’t help himself. He had to know.

“You’re in a better mood than I am, that means something.”

You roll your eyes playfully and kiss him breathless.

You grab a fistful of his luscious curls and he groans into your mouth as you tug lightly.

You take a couple steps backwards and almost have him when the familiar snap of a bra strap breaks you apart.

You wince. “Ow- what the fuck-?!”

That look on your boyfriend’s face tells you it isn’t that gentle, sweet-natured man you adore.

“Marc.” You warn.

“I’m sorry, honey, I had to! You look so fucking beautiful right now and I’ve always wanted to do that-”

You place your palm on his lips, shutting him up.

“Okay, look. You’re gonna give him the body for the rest of the night and I will see you tomorrow morning. Sounds good?”

He raises an eyebrow at your directions and grabs a handful of your thighs, pulling you flush against him.

“You’re so hot when you’re bossy. You know that?”

“Yeah.” You smirk.

He quickly pecks your lips and you can’t help but smile at his eagerness.

“Tomorrow morning.” You promise.

Before Steven changes his mind, you turn around and push him on the bed, quickly climbing on top of him.

His eyes grow once more at your actions.

“Please, Steven. No more interruptions this time.”

He sits up and watches you sit down his lap.

“O-okay.”

His heart speeds up as you plant your hands on his shoulders once again and work your way up.

Your kisses stain his neck and he shudders under you.

It’s strange, how he can never get used to your affection. All his life, all he’s ever wanted was tender care and now that he’s got it; he doesn’t know how to act.

You hear him grunt and sigh, he even turn and angles his head so you can have more access.

You’re man’s a quick learner.

His hands wander your back, leaving trails of goosebumps in their wake.

Your lips touch his jaw and he’s putty in your hands. They graze over the skin a bit before you whisper, “You with me so far?”.

“Mhm.”

He’s on autopilot.

He feels the familiar sensation of your grin on his skin and he pulls back to see it in all of its glory.

He’s staring at you but all you see back in his eyes is the woman who’s most deserving of it.

It’s kind of poetic, actually.

────♡♡♡────

You know how people say sex leaves your skin with a sort of ‘afterglow’? Like, there’s a visible light in your face, skin, and eyes. One that can’t be ignored.

“Is there something on my face?”

Well, he can’t not wonder out loud. The man’s been getting stares, sly grins, even a pat on the back from the janitor.

You really don’t know.

Steven rolls his eyes.

“I don’t think I would’ve asked if I knew, mate.”

Marc huffs amusedly at his sass but answers him nonetheless.

It has to do with your… activities last night.

Steven feels his face warm at the mention but what did that mean?

An afterglow, Steven. It’s literally all over your face.

“Bollocks.” He whispers.

Yeah, she had plenty of those.

Steven groans at his crude remark. “That’s what we’re doing. Seriously?”

But it couldn’t be that obvious… could it?

His train of thought are halted to a full stop as he hears his boss yelling at some poor chap.

Remind me, why can’t you just quit?

“Because I love my job too much to let someone sway me away from it.”

Steven’s watching as Donna carries a box full of her own stuff and is being escorted… outside?

He looks around and finds a coworker watching the spectacle as well.

“Pardon me, but what’s going on?”

“You didn’t hear? A child found her dildo amongst the stuffed toys.”

Wow.

“I beg your pardon?”

Now this was something he did not see coming.

“I’m being set up!” Donna cries. “Please, you have to believe me!”

Steven’s having a hard time believing this but one thing he knows for sure: you don’t play about him.

[thexsanctuaryx]

ʚ♡ɞ I'll Follow You Into the Dark ʚ♡ɞ

{ CHAPTER THREE }

➳ PREVIOUS CHAPTER | NEXT CHAPTER

Summary: Emma's first meeting with the doctor goes about as well as you'd think and Marc gets firsthand experience of what it feels like to be Jake. Pairing: { eventual } Original Character { Emma Harper } x Marc Spector, Emma Harper x Steven Grant, and Emma Harper x Jake Lockley Contents: mental hospitals, psychiatric hold, Emma meets the doctor, angst { I guess? I don't know what else to call it. }, hurt/comfort-esque vibes Warnings: severe mental illness { psychosis, hallucinations, depression }, main character is actively in psychosis, I've done my best to write it in the least triggering way but there are a lot of heavy themes that will take place in this series, so forewarning. Marc is a danger to himself here but it's only really alluded to in this part. mental hospitals. toxic as fuck doctor, typical misunderstanding and misinterpretation that comes with psychosis. due to the nature of Emma's psychosis, things are very unhealthily skewed in a religious context. triggering themes related to the aforementioned. Author's Note: I recently finished reading Tear Down My Reason by @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction and it inspired me to work on an idea I've been playing with about Emma and the Boys meeting while both in a mental hospital at the same time. I wanted to write a series that would help other people with severe mental illness feel seen and heard as there really AREN'T works out there like this, especially not actually written by people with firsthand experience of things like psychosis. This series is being written with a lot of love and care so I truly hope that it can be cathartic for those who read who might also live with mental illness because you DO matter and your stories DO deserve to be told. Word Count: 1,016 Taglist: @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @sub-aro

She’s quiet on the way back to their wing, a soft scowl seemingly forever over her features.

Marc wants to say something, but doesn’t.

He isn’t sure what she’s hearing as they cross through the locked doors but he knows she’s more caught up in her mind than she is present in the goings on around them.

While the rest of them file into the day room to receive their meds, she’s escorted through another door.

Marc feels a spike of anxiety.

He knows she’s going to see the doctor for the first time and having been to this particular hospital more than once, he knows this doctor.

A harsh and cruel man who deals out diagnoses like poker chips and always loads everyone up on too much medication, that their usual psychiatrists then have to sort out after they’re discharged.

He finds himself pacing the hallway like a caged wild animal, tense and binding their time.

Meanwhile, Emma is taken outside to a sort of courtyard and seated at a table in front of a heartless looking man with a massive binder in front of him.

She shifts nervously on the bench across from him taking in her surroundings and reminiscing on how bright it is and how much it makes her think of the garden of Eden.

The man folds his hands on top of the open binder and gives a menacing smile. “Alright Emma, I like to make deals—do you like to make deals? If you take my medication for three days, I’ll let you go home…”

And just like that, the proverbial serpent seems to take her into a chokehold. Her throat tightens and she finds it hard to breath despite being outside in the fresh air.

She forces a swallow, unable to find her voice.

“Sign here if you agree…”

The man – who she’s now sure is the devil himself – turns a contract around and reaches out a pen with the same sickening smile.

Emma feels like she’s signing her soul away but he gives no other option other than to do so. It feels like a trap, another test that she can’t help but fail.

She doesn’t even remember how to sign her whole name in the confusion of her brain, but she scribbles a ‘signature.’

“Wonderful…” The doctor says, “you can go back inside now.”

Emma stiffly gets up from where she sits, walking back toward the door where they wait to let her back in.

When she’s led back into the wing she can see Marc at the end of the hallway near her room. As if by some latent telepathy, he looks up, locking eyes with her.

She feels trapped now more than ever, like she doesn’t know what to do. So her feet carry her toward him, his own moving to meet her in the middle.

As soon as he gets closer he can see her trembling, tears welling up in her eyes.

He doesn’t know what to do because he can’t hug her but he can tell she’s terrified.

“How’d it go?” He asks, winded and unsure.

Emma shakes her head quickly, falling into a sob that rakes through her body as the tears spill over.

‘That bloody doctor,’ Steven curses.

‘I’ll kill him myself…’ Jake adds.

Marc, on the other hand, feels like he’s never wanted to hug somebody so badly in his life—the one time he can’t.

He wishes he could take her somewhere quiet so she could calm down—but going into each other’s rooms are off limits and the day room is crowded this time of day.

“I’m so sorry…” is all he can say, giving her a soft look of empathy.

Emma, on the other hand, not knowing any better—rushes forward to wrap her arms tightly around Marc’s middle, clinging to him.

It startles him, a little surprised she’d be comfortable enough to do it in the first place.

Risking hell from the hospital staff he does what he instinctively wants to, what feels right—and hugs her back. He can’t help but keep an eye out for prying looks and of course, the staff.

Emma sobs softly against him, feeling safe for the first time in the last 24 hours, as she shakes in his arms.

He holds her as long as he can before it becomes too risky, and withdraws. He gives her a soft look fighting every urge to wipe away her tears.

“We—we’re not really…supposed to do things like that here—I don’t wanna get you in trouble.” He explains gently.

Emma nods quickly even if she misconstrues his meaning for being about what’s appropriate in this liminal space.

She wipes furiously at her eyes.

“Why don’t we sit here for a minute?” He suggests, sliding down the wall along the hallway and reaching his hand up for hers, risking reprimand again.

As if sensing a thought Marc hardly has, Jake speaks up in their headspace, ‘Let them yell at you for helping her—I’ll gladly give them a piece of my mind…’

Marc doesn’t need to see his face in a reflective surface to know the malice in his eyes, the threat that’s far from empty.

Emma takes his hand, moving to sit next to him on the floor. She instinctively rests her head against his shoulder, and he feels as though he suddenly knows exactly how Jake must feel when he protects him and Steven.

He releases a heavy sigh and conceals their clasped hands between them if only for the sake of being able to continue holding hers a little longer.

It occurs to him that the next 80 some odd hours would be crucial for her, and he’s not sure it’ll be long enough to make sure she’s okay.

“You thinking what I’m thinking, boys?” He mutters to the other two in his head. Emma doesn’t seem to mind the way he talks to them in the least, only squeezing his hand tighter.

‘Think we’re gonna need to make an appearance…’ Jake suggests darkly.

‘Most. Definitely.’ Steven agrees.

[dyns33]

 Murderdock x Reader x Steven/Mark/Jake :

 Y/N dated Matt before, but because of his activities, the Hand, his bad temper (he was never violent, but he was moody, he had secrets, he was distant, angry, mean sometimes, refusing to talk about his feelings and problems) she leaves for London where she meets Steven.

Adorable Steven, who is not like Matt at all. He tells her about Marc and Jake after their second date, but not about Khonshu.

Of course Matt comes, looking for her, apologizing, saying he doesn't want to lose the one good thing in his life, that he would leave her if she honestly tells him she doesn't love him anymore. This is bad, but Y/N still loves him, will always love him, but he hurt her too much, and she loves Steven, who is a nice man. Matt asks her with a small smile if she's sure her new lover not hiding anything from her.

The day before, Moon Knight fought with the Devil. ("Moon Knight ? Haha, I'm the Western Sun of the Hand, nice to meet you !")

Later, Steven meets Matt at the museum, offering to give him a tour, then without him knowing how they ended having a coffee together. Matt is a real charmer.

Jake doesn't trust this guy, but Jake doesn't trust anyone. Marc thinks Matt is flirting, asking all these questions. Steven therefore tells him that he has a girlfriend, and Matt replies that she is lucky to have him, because Steven is really handsome. ("How can you tell ? I mean, you're... Sorry." "Don't be sorry, darling. And trust me, I can tell.") Matt makes several subtle references to the moon, which bother Marc and Jake, but Steven wants to believe it's a coincidence.

When Matt asks for Steven's number, because he doesn't have a friend in London, he doesn't dare say no. He knows what it's like to be alone.

When he tells Y/N about it, saying he met a man who dresses in red, blind, and named Matt, she tells him he's her ex and he should beware, without telling him why. This does not please Marc and Jake at all, who feel that she is hiding something. Steven is worried. It pains them, because they all like her.

They are right, she also has some secrets, she knows how to fight, Matt taught her how to defend herself. And an army of ninjas follows her everywhere to check that she is not in danger.

If the Hand hears of Khonshu, the trio will be in trouble.

But Matt doesn't tell them about it, as he guessed who Moon Knight was. He doesn't want to hurt Y/N, and he loves her weird boyfriends who talks to himself, changing their accent and gait several times a day, and having almost as many problems and secrets as he does.

Khonshu is suspicious of Matt, he feels that he can be dangerous, that his scale is not well balanced, but at the same time he is powerful and could be useful.

Marc doesn't know what to think, Jake likes him in the end, and Steven is surprised to be loved by two people at the same time.

Y/N is just tired.

[yikesitskennawrites]

I’ll Be Good- Jaymes Young

Breaking Down Songs Masterlist 

Transitions Masterlist

I am breaking down songs and lyrics that I feel like they fit or reminds me of Transitions. This way, you guy’s would be able to understand the protagonist and the series a little deeper than before.

A/n: Today's breakdown song is: Jaymes Young- I’ll Be Good. This song appeared in my playlist before work one morning a couple weeks ago. It was a song I used to play on repeat at the peak of my Supernatural television show phase back in 2017. I don’t think I heard it since, until about two weeks ago when it shuffled on a random YouTube playlist. But, when I first heard it, my first thought was: “Holy-shit. This is Marc.” And so, I wrote it down to break down the song and scenes that appear in my head when I listen to it. I’ve been listening to it occasionally. 

To begin with:

“I thought I saw the devil this morning

Looking in the mirror”

Marc looks in the mirror every morning and believes that he is a terrible person/the devil because his own mother called him a monster for the death of his brother; and because of the amount of lives he took as a mercenary, marine, and Khonshus avatar. He wakes up angry at himself often, and even angier at the world. 

“drop of rum on my tongue

With the warning to help me see myself clearer”

Right after Marc loses the scarab and arrives in Cairo, we, the viewers, find him sitting half-naked and drinking a bottle of rum in his hotel room. Although we don’t know exactly what he’s feeling because it’s not written out for us word for word, we can still assume what he’s feeling. He is pissed, Khonshu just threatened to choose Layla as his next avatar and it’s not the first time that he’s done it. Knowing the bird god, it's not a threat any longer but a promise. He is angry at himself for slipping up and letting Steven be aware of this life and fuck up the mission. He is upset that he is a god's puppet, but through it all, he continues to be blindsided by the chance of freedom from this Egyptian god and the life that Steven could have.

He could be free, he is told that this is his last mission for Khonshu and all he wants is to get out of this mess so Steven could live a normal life and Marc could disappear for good. Simply, because he believes that he doesn’t deserve this life but Steven, who doesn’t eat meat because he feels bad for the animals, does. 

“I never meant to start a fire

I never meant to make you bleed

I'll be a better man today”

Marc never meant to hurt anybody. He went into that cave with his brother Randall because they wanted to explore and they didn’t think it would flood. They were excited to be adventurers like Dr. Steven Grant from their favorite movie. Marc wouldn’t have taken his brother into the cave if he knew the outcome of it. He really didn’t want Randall to die, but his mother didn’t believe him. He grew up hated by his mother and neglected by his father. If his father loved him, he would have stopped his mothers abuse, he wouldn’t have stood aside and pretended Marc's cries weren’t happening. Marcs father would have done so much more if he helped his son.

We see in episode five that Marc is celebrating his birthday with his father, but by the time that Marc is moving away and out of the house, probably going into the marines, the dad tries to stop him by saying “I can’t lose another son.” It's clear that teen-Marc was upset by hearing his father tell him this. Because the dad already lost Marc when he didn’t stop Wendys abuse.

Later on, when Marc is older, he drags himself into Khonshus temple. His torso was bloody and damaged, he was ready to die. He was going to put a bullet into his skull, he nearly pulled the trigger and moments before he lightly pressed down Khonshu says, “What a waste.” and because he didn’t want to completely die, he entertained the person or thing who spoke by answering back. After being told by his mother how much of a terrible, horrible human being Marc is, this god is telling him how much of a waste it is if Marc would take his own life. Why not become his avatar and protect the travelers of the night and be his fist of vengeance? Even with Marc on the brink of death, the god was manipulating him. He didn’t believe he was worthy to breathe another breath. He didn’t want to fight anymore, especially after being left for dead. 

So, this god that Marc probably has never heard of up until this point is choosing him to be his avatar? Obviously the god had to see something in him enough to propose the offer. So, Marc, who believes that he has nothing else to lose, accepts and becomes Khonshus Moon Knight. 

“I'll be good, I'll be good

And I'll love the world, like I should

Yeah, I'll be good, I'll be good

For all of the times that I never could”

The repetitive promise of “I’ll be good,” that Marc must have told his mother throughout the abuse is so sad to think about. His promise to his mother that he’ll be good while getting hit with the belt. His creation of Steven who is supposed to represent his brother Randall and is the emotional protector of the system. Steven is meant to love the world, he’s supposed to see the good in everything. 

Marc doesn’t believe that he is a good person, but Steven is a much better person compared to him.

“My past has tasted bitter for years now

So I wield an iron fist”

Khonshus avatar, baby. Marc now has a purpose to live and it’s to serve a god and protect those who can’t protect themselves. Which is honestly fitting, because Marc grew up being unable to protect himself. 

“Grace is just weakness

Or so I've been told

I've been cold, I've been merciless”

Marc doesn’t show his emotion much. The one time we see him cry is when he reveals to Steven that their mother died and he blames himself for his brother's death. His mother probably told him that he doesn’t deserve to cry because “he killed his brother.” In episode five, we see young Marc walk down the stairs for Randalls funeral and his mother yells at him saying, “What are you doing here? You were supposed to keep him safe.” She blames him heavily from the moment they left their backyard to explore the cave.

“But the blood on my hands scares me to death

Maybe I'm waking up today”

Marc killed so many people in his time as a marine, mercenary, and as an avatar. Most of all, he believes that he killed his brother because he was blamed by his mother for his brother's death. Being told repeatedly and being beaten by his own mother for his brother's death has to do some damage. He believes that he killed Layla's father by bringing Paul Bushman to the archaeologist site Layla's father worked at. A raid gone wrong. 

“For all of the light that I shut out

For all of the innocent things that I doubt

For all of the bruises I've caused in the tears

For all of the things that I've done

All these years, no, yeah

For all the sparks that I stomped out

For all of the perfect things that I doubt”

Steven is the good that Marc never got or never became. Steven believes that his mother is alive because Marc went through the length of protecting Steven from the knowledge that she’s actually dead. He set up a voicemail for Steven to call, he had someone send postcards. He made it so Steven always believed that Wendy was kind and he was loved. Steven would not have become the Steven we see in the television show if it was not for Marc's kindness of making sure Steven wouldn’t be harmed in the way that he grew up. 

Marc doesn’t believe that he is kind, but rather selfish. He found Layla to tell her how he led Paul Bushman- the killer of Layla's father and atttepted murderer of Marc- to the site where Laylas father was doing his job of being a archologist. He wanted to tell her, but instead he fell in love with her and never got around to telling her because he knew that she would hate him. Marc isn’t the one who pulled the trigger on Layla's father but he blames himself for his death. 

Marc doesn’t believe that he is a good person. He doesn’t believe that he deserves to be loved.

Every single event, good or bad, big or small, has lead up to the Marc the reader knows of today: A man who went through something bad but has done his best to be better. To do good. 

“I'll be good, I'll be good

And I'll love the world, like I should

Yeah, I'll be good, I'll be good

For all of the times I never could”

Marc is still trying to be better. He’s black-mailing a teenager, the reader, to come over for dinner every night so they know they are safe. He’s making sure that the reader stays fed and isn’t hungry.  God knows how many times Marc found himself cooking dinner for himself and his mom when she was too drunk and sad or passed out to cook. Marc is making sure that the reader is comfortable and allows them to stay at his apartment when they are terrified of Khoshu. Marc tries to get to know the reader by taking them up to the roof to see the stars on a hot summer night. Marc is doing the best that he can because he cares for them despite seemingly not caring at all or as much as Steven. He’s going to be good, he’s going to try his best to be good. 

“Oh, oh-oh

Oh, oh

Oh, oh-oh

For all of the times I never could”

Although Marc fully believes that he is not worth being loved because of all the hurt that he thinks he caused, he has yet to accept that he is more than what his mother has told him that he was: a monster. A terrible son. A murderer. 

Marc Spector is worth loving, Layla showed him that, Steven Grant showed him that, and perhaps, if he lets the reader, they will too.

[charlotte-headcanons]

I wonder if some of siblings with twins, triplets, and others get along well. We know the monster triplet seems close to each other, decuplets get along well, just some silly siblings fights, sometimes, Smoothie with Citron and Cinnamon, they just argue when she used her devil fruit power on their subordinates to take the energy to her attacks, Chiffon still loves Lola even after leaving the family. But I wonder how is Cracker with Custard and Angel, Brulee with Broye, and Opera in his group of quintuplets.

Thank you for this ask, anon, that one was super fun to figure out! 💕 We decided to go through all the twin/triplet/etc. groups in the Charlotte family and describe their relations quickly. Naturally, then ❗long post ahead❗

Enjoy! ✨

Group 1: Katakuri/Daifuku/Oven

This three get along great and are indeed, very close to each other. Despite their personality differences, they spent a lot of time together already in childhood and even now they make sure that they find moments to cherish in each other's presence often. Katakuri feels more comfortable around these two than around most, especially since they both know his secret and never judged him for his mouth. Oven and Daifuku find him amazing, sure, but they also still treat him as their brother, not an unattainable ideal, and that allows Katakuri to somewhat relax.

Group 2: Mondee/Amande/Hachee/Effilee

Although Mondee is unstoppable in her efforts to bring these four closer together, being a bit jealous of some other twin/triplet/quadruplet sets, Amande, Hachee, and Effilee are all individualists and quite distinct personalities. Therefore, they might have a bit of a soft spot for each other, but these quadruplets only properly hang out once every three months or so; always from Mondee's initiative.

Group 3: Opera/Counter/Cadenza/Cabaletta/Gala

This group definitely likes to hang out together! They aren't super close and they don't know a lot about each other's personal problems or private life, but they do enjoy regular activities that they can do together: like brawl fights or going out for a few drinks. However, Opera is always a bit out of place in the group. Since he doesn't so much enjoy the same things the others like, they sometimes don't even bother inviting him, and they might be kind of jealous that out of all of them, he was the one who received a Devil Fruit. Gala always brings attention to it, trying not to exclude Opera, but sometimes, unfortunately, he still gets left out.

Group 4: Cracker/Custard/Angel

In their childhood, Custard and Angel got along well, but Cracker was always annoyed by the two and their constant attempts to play with his hair, put flower crowns on him, and more of that girly shit he loathed. Now, Angel changed quite a bit, toughened up, and became known as a kind of feral gal, who loves her triplets, but might sometimes scare/disgust while trying to make them tougher. In effect, Custard and Cracker grew ever so slightly closer. It helps that the girls stopped trying to girlify him, too.

Group 5: Brulee/Broye

Personality-wise, these two are polar opposites. Generally, Broye pities Brulee for not having found a husband yet, as well as for how her lifestyle usually looks like: rather than cooking and gardening she prefers partying and flirting, rather than living in an unpretentious hut, she prefers glamour. Brulee, on the other hand, is always nice to Broye and likes her, however, their relationship grew a bit awkward ever since Broye caught her staring at a wedding dress and bought her one, claiming that 'she's never going to get married anyway, so she may as well just wear it now'. Brulee knows that her twin meant well and thus wears the dress to this day (was it just us or did Brulee's first dress really look like a wedding dress); still she can't help but feel slightly hurt.

Group 6: Nusstorte/Basskarte/Dosmarche

These three see each other mostly as rivals, plain and simple. Basskarte is especially salty that the other two received Minister positions while he didn't, but even between Nusstorte and Dosmarche you can expect only constant attempts to one the other up rather than any sibling closeness.

Group 7: Moscato/Mash/Cornstarch

Moscato and Cornstarch adore each other! They're both idealists and wholesome people, so they can talk with each other for hours and feel very comfortable with each other's presence. Now, Mash is slightly excluded from this: they still like her and are always nice to her, but don't hang out with her half as often. She doesn't mind, though; she prefers Broye to those softies anyway.

Group 8: Compo/Laurin

Compo is very protective of Laurin. Despite only being minutes older than him and despite his short height, he always makes sure no one makes fun of his twin, and has a sixth sense for when the latter is uncomfortable. In return, Laurin is very grateful, and if he could ever return all the favors, he would.

Group 9: Mozart/Marnier

These two are your like, most typical ✨twinsies✨ sisters. They like to wear matching outfits sometimes, they gossip with each other lots, and generally they get along great; although, unlike some other twins on this list, they do have their own, separate lives.

Group 10: High Fat/Tablet

High Fat and Tablet probably have the worst relationship from all the siblings on this list. Even more opposite than Brulee and Broye, they disliked each other since early childhood, when Tablet relentlessly picked on High Fat, and the latter interpreted what Tablet thought was merely playful as outright cruel. As a result of their different perception on things, their antipathy only grew, and they prefer not to talk these days if it can be avoided.

Group 11: Smoothie/Citron/Cinnamon

Smoothie, Citron, and Cinnamon are each other's favorite people, full stop. They all have similar views on life, know each other's secrets, and they love their dynamic; in this dynamic, Smoothie normally takes on a role of the leader, with Cinnamon and Citron often looking for her approval and even mimicking her sometimes, but all this happens without them ever feeling consciously like there is any clear hierarchy.

Group 12: Saint-Marc/Basans

In their childhood, Saint-Marc and Basans were often confused due to their similar facial features. This experience left them bitter, so now, despite not hating each other, they both really try to stand out from the other. For Saint-Marc, the armor was a method; Basans went so far as to wear fake horns, being quite happy whenever it was assumed that Melise was his real sister.

Group 13: Galette/Poire

Poire likes Galette, even with the latter's anxiety and all. Galette, in return, is always kind to Poire, however, she cannot help but be overly stressed out by her sister's often dangerous ways of life. While Mont d'Or is a calming presence for Galette, Poire heightens her worries, so she'd rather hang out with the older brother, all things considered.

Group 14: Snack/Bavarois

Similarly to the first set of quintuplets, Snack and Bavarois like to share fast food or a few drinks, but don't necessarily tell each other much about their life, or their hopes and fears. Their hang out sessions are a bit rarer than for the quintuplets, though, even if they became more frequent when Snack lost his Sweet Commander post.

Group 15: Prim/Praline

Prim always looked at Praline from above, being both smarter and stronger than her. Still, their relations were somewhat amicable until Praline's betrayal. They used to enjoy at least shopping for clothes together, but now, Prim is pissed that Praline left, without telling her, taking with her a large portion of Totto's underwater population, and leaving her behind for Mama to take out her rage on her. If they meet again, Prim will not hold back and will definitely attack Praline just like the rest of her family, if not even more viciously.

Group 16: Kanten/Kato/Montb

Those three are completely neutral in their relations. They have distinct goals in life and personalities, and don't really think of each other as 'their kind of person' but can definitely have a friendly small talk when they meet; which happens rather rarely, considering they don't really seek these meetings out.

Group 17: Chiffon/Lola

As we all know, Chiffon and Lola love each other lots! Chiffon was always very protective of her younger sister and supported her fully in pursuing her dreams; little Lola, on the other hand, would beat up anyone who even looked at her twin wrongly. Since Lola left, they missed each other plenty, but Chiffon never blamed her for leaving and was just very happy to be reunited with her eventually.

Group 18: Mobile/Marble/Myukuru/Maple

These quadruplets get along in pairs. Mobile and Maple like each other lots and hang out with each other plenty, and so do Marble and Myukuru; however, between these two groups, there's little care and more of a neutral outlook.

Group 19: Mascarpone/Joscarpone

Mascarpone and Joscarpone are essentially inseparable. They know everything each other, finish each other's sentences, share literally everything (including clothes), and could be easily confused if not for their different gender. If you tried to keep them apart even for a few days, they'd probably be very uncomfortable and feel lonelier than ever.

Group 20: Newichi/Newji/Newsan/Newshi/Newgo/Nutmeg/Akimeg/Allmeg/Harumeg/Fuyumeg

The decuplets generally all tolerate each other, but hate to be confused. Overall, the boys get along, and so do the girls, but they don't mingle beyond these groups so much, with the exception of Newshi and Harumeg, who are best friends. There is just quite a bit of rivalry between the boys and the girls; they can cooperate great in fives, but as a whole 10-person group they might struggle to communicate all that well.

Group 21: Dolce/Dragee

Basically Mascarpone and Joscarpone on steroids. These two literally speak in unison at times, have their own secret communication system, sometimes switch their clothes which makes everyone confuse them, and get completely miserable and shy whenever separated. We'll see if they grow out of it ever or not!

Aaaaand there you have it! Congrats to everyone who got through the entire post, here's your supreme Charlotte family fan medal 🎖️ hope you enjoyed! 💕

[unmaskedagain]

Rate this (Trust is Hard to Come By)

Its six am here and I just got to work. And am now writing a drabble at my desk. Again tweaked prompt a bit. Oh and I just realized that based on this and my last few “drabble” that are long that some picture books… I don’t know what a drabble. Or least I know it doesn’t apply to what I usually write.

No one would who or what had caused the akuma this time. However, when a thirteen-year-old superfan of Ladybug got Akumatized, everyone knew it.

A loud voice boomed in the ears of all the citizens in Paris, “Beware Paris, I am the Gardener, protector of the Loveliness. Those who have failed our Queen Ladybug will be revealed. A number you shall be given on a scale to 100; the higher the number, the more trust the Queen has in you. Low numbers have failed our Queen, betrayed our queen, betrayed the loveliness, and will be punished!”

“Loveliness,” Adrien asked, already preparing to make a break for it to transform.

           Unaware that Marinette decided to wait for a bit. Some lessons needed to be learned the hard way.  All the kids were at lunch and seemed to be enjoying the day until the alert happened.

           Max pushed his glasses up, “A group of ladybugs is called a ‘loveliness of ladybugs.’. Gardeners love Ladybugs because Ladybugs protect their gardens.”

“Cool!” Kim grinned. “We get to see how much Ladybug digs us.”

           Alya preened, “I’m at least a 90.” She pulled out her phone. “I’m so going to live stream this.”

“I think I’m like an 80, dude,” Nino smirked.

           All the kids gave their guess; most figuring they were at least in the 70s. It was Alya who joked, that Marinette probably had a ten.

           The others agreed; thinking the girl had been such a bully lately, and so mean to Lila.

           Marinette overheard them from where she, Chloe, Kagami and their new friends sat. A smirked spread across her face. This would be good.

           A blindingly flash filled the cafeteria. When it was gone, all the kids had numbers above their heads.

           One by one the excited grins on the students of Bustier’s class faded.

“A two,” Alya paled. “How can I be a two?” A dark ugly red 2 floated above her head. She touched the number and words appeared next to it: Warning: Disloyal. False friend. Bully. Anger control problems. Easily swayed. Bad journalist… etc.

           Nino frowned, “I got a four.” How could he have a four? He was carapace. Ladybug had chosen him herself. Or at least she had. He hadn’t gone Super in over a year. Was that when Ladybug lost her trust in him?

           He touched the number. His warning said: bad friend. Disloyal. Bully. He touched it again before he could read any more.

           Kim had a five. Alix had a three. Mylene had a seven. Rose and Juleka had 10s. Ivan had an eight. Nathanial had an eleven. Max had a six.  All were in the red. All had similar warning signs.

           Adrien had frozen in his seat when he saw his number. A 14. How could he be a 14? Why did Ladybug barely trust him? They were partners, friends, maybe more one day. But how could they be any of that she didn’t trust him.

           He touched his number. His warning sign read: Naïve, Spineless, pushy, Bad friend, and, in bold letter, COWARD.

“We should go,” Max whispered. “People are staring.”

           And sure enough they were. Most of the student body had numbers in the 30s or 40s, it was respectable seeing as they barely dealt with the hero. However, this meant it was easy to find the kids who ranked so much lower.

           Slowly suspicious eyes fell on Bustier’s class. What had they done, most wondered. Whatever, it was they knew it was bad. Somehow the students of Bustier’s class had hurt Ladybug. And as far as the rest of the school was concerned, and those watching from Alya’s livestream, if Ladybug couldn’t trust them, they couldn’t either.

           Marinette watched with cold eyes as her classmates and ex-friends scrambled to rush out of the cafeteria. Still she kept a smile on her face as one by one student came up to thank her for whatever she had done for Ladybug; for being such a good friend to the hero.

           A glowing, bright beautiful emerald green 92 floated above her. It was the highest number anyone had seen so far. Her words attached were less of a warning and more of brag: Loyal, Honest, Good. Trustworthy. Caring. A great friend. Hardworker. Heroic. Brave. Then her warning was: A bit too insecure but working on it.

           Aurore beamed at her friend, livestreaming from her own phone to her new Bugout. She had a neon green 70 above her head. Her words: Honest, Hardworker, loyal, good friend, amazing journalist. “Everyone post a pic of themselves with the number above their heads; it’s blowing up Twitter.”

           Chloe gave everyone smug grins, as she had the second 86 above hers. Her words: Brave, strong, loyal, good. A great hero. A great friend.

Kagami had a 72. Her words: loyal, confident, headstrong, good, good friend.  Marc a 67. Ondine a 66. Claude a 71. They all had similar ones to Kagami.

“You’re in Bustier’s class, right, Marinette?” A girl who had come to thank Marinette had asked. Her question drew attention from everyone. “Are you going to be safe there? With them?”

           Claude frowned, “Maybe you shouldn’t go back there.”

           It took a lot of reassurance to get her friends and even quite a few of the other students who had been in the cafeteria to allow her to go back to her class. Even then, Marinette found Ms. Mendeleiev, who had a solid forest green 71 above her head and had a bit more pep in her step that usual, escorting her and Chloe to class.

           Students in the hall moved out of Marinette way as soon as they saw her coming, a look of awe on their faces. The bluenette couldn’t find the pink blush that crept on to her face.

           They knew they had gotten to Bustier’s class when they saw the red glow emerging from the room

           Alya couldn’t believe it. How couldn’t Ladybug trust her? She was Rena Rouge. Or least she had been. There had been a new Fox running around with Ladybug, lately. Rena hadn’t been seen in over a year. Still, Alya ran the Ladyblog. Alya thought they were friends. But how could that be true with a 2 above her head. And she wasn’t a bully or disloyal.

           The rest of the class had a similar mindset. Even Bustier, who had a three, had a sorrowful look on her face. She didn’t understand what she had done wrong.

           When green glows entered the room, they all noticed. Mouths dropped.

           Ms. Mendeleiev with a 71, they could understand. She was a great teacher, no one could deny it. The beautiful blond Chloe they could sort of understand. She had an 86; maybe she had done more good as Queen Bee than they knew about. Marinette though? Their minds just couldn’t compute.

           How could Marinette have a 92?

           They read the words attached to her and Chloe’s numbers with disbelief.

           Said girl thanked Mendeleiev who had taken to blatantly staring at Bustier with distrust. It occurred to Mendeleiev, that the younger teacher did have an absurdly high number of Akuma transformation from her students. When Mendeleiev and told everyone what she had seen and realized; most of the other faculty would begin to keep a close eye on Bustier and her class. Something just wasn’t right with that lot.

           Marinette and Chloe made their way to the seats in back. The green above their heads looked a halo.

           Alya wanted to scream. “Why does Ladybug trust you?” She asked the girls.

“She’s Queen Bee,” Marinette pointed at Chloe. “A loyal ally of Ladybug.”

           Chloe smirked, “Don’t you remember that it was Marinette who first got you that interview with Ladybug; the reason your blog became as popular as it did?” She asked reporter. “Marinette’s Ladybug’s friend.”

           Any scathing thing the students had been thinking to sneer at the girls died on their lips. Marinette was Ladybug’s friend. They knew Marinette knew the hero but never thought about how close they were.

“Why do think Ladybug stopped giving you interviews?” Chloe leaned back in her seat. A euphoric feeling filling her. “She only started working with you in the first place because she knew you were Marinette’s bestie. Once that changed, well… Ladybug just didn’t want to work with you anymore. Something about Journalistic Professionalism. How is your website doing by the way? I haven’t checked in a while. I normally use Aurore’s Bugout blog. Ladybug endorses it, you know?”

           Marinette could have kissed the blond. The devastation on Alya’s face was finally karma for all the nasty texts she had sent to Marinette before she change her number.

           Nino pulled his girlfriend into a hug.

“She read those texts you sent me by the way.” Marinette sent them a cold smirk as horrified looks overcame their faces. “Every last one. She was so disappointed.”

“You showed her?” Rose whispered. “How could you show her?”

“Why not?” Marinette shrugged. Rose hadn’t sent as many mean texts as the others in class and weren’t all that mean; just accusatory and claiming that she refused to be friends with a Bully. “I trust her. She trusts me. I even sent her videos of what a day in our class has been like lately. Ladybug got to see and hear everything personally. She has so many concerns about the goings on in this. She’ll be going to the school board with the videos.”

           Bustier paled. She knew the students had gotten a bit out of hand but surely they weren’t that bad. They were just kids after all. (The teacher would get her answer a week later, along with a pink slip.)

           Alya sobbed as she remembered everything she sent Marinette. How could she know Ladybug would read them? No wonder Alya got a 2. Ladybug probably hated her. “I only sent that because you were being such a bully.”

“Yeah,” Alix hissed. “It’s not fair. You were being such a freak about Lila!” There were nods.

           And as the old saying goes, speak of the devil, and the devil…

           Lila had taken her sweet time getting to school that day. She had lied to her mother that it was closed for the morning because an Akuma. And it was just her luck that one would appear. She had stayed in bed all day, earphones blasting music in her ear, wondering just how she’ll amazing her classmates that day. It felt great to be adored.

           When Lila got up to leave for school, she looked in the mirror and saw a dark, blood red glowing Negative 51 above her head. She shrugged and left her apartment. Earphones still in her ears. A happy smile on her face.

           She didn’t notice the shocked and disgusted looks on people’s faces as she passed them. Or why a mother picked up her a child and ran in the other direction. Lila didn’t see the brave man who reached out, with shaky hands, and touched her number as she passed by. Nor she see the People taking pictures of her and her warning signs. The photos went viral almost instantly, everyone wanted to know just who was the girl with the only negative number in all of Paris… As far they knew.

           When Gabriel Agreste saw Lila’s image on the web, he ordered Nathalie to sever all connections to the teen girl and release a statement making it clear the company had no idea just what Lila Rossi had been capable of. Afterwards, Gabriel wondered what Lila had done to earn such a dramatically low number.

           Gabriel himself was at a respectable and average 30. While Nathalie was at solid 34. Decent not too green numbers. Though as Hawkmoth, they were both an Ugly negative -2. He knew he was a Supervillian; Ladybug regarded him as a bad guy. But she seemed to regard Lila Rossi as pure evil.

           …Maybe Hawkmoth should sever his connection to the Italian girl as well.

           Lila arrived at school, just at the end of lunch, students had just started to leave the cafeteria for lunch. She didn’t notice that students stopped in their tracks to stare at her. Or the teachers with horrifying and calculating looks on their faces. She didn’t seem Damocles’ pale and rush off to call her mother.

           She didn’t notice anything. Lila just smiled pleasantly; having decided to go with a Prince Ali story that day. Maybe that he asked her to marry him. She’d be the envy of all the girls in class.

           However, when Lila got to the class she did notice the shocked looks she got from her classmates. But not the cold smirk on Marinette’s face.

“What?” Lila asked looking around. “Did something happened? Oh, no is the Akuma still around? How awful!”  She said fighting the smile off her face. Hopefully Ladybug was getting her ass kicked, she thought.

           Alya dropped her phone. Negative? How could Lila be negative? How could she have such a low negative number at that?

           Everyone in class read the giant warning label attached to Lila Rossi’s number: Liar, backstabber, nasty, bully, untrustworthy, manipulative, rotten, villain, horrible person; the list went on and on. However, it was that shook them to their cores: Evil. Not bad. Not awful. Evil.

           Alya collapsed against her boyfriend, “No. No. I didn’t know. I swear.”

“Shh, it’s okay,” Nino comforted her. “None of us knew.” There were nods from the other students.

           Marinette and Chloe looked at them with narrowed eyes because: What the hell.

“Except I told you she was a liar,” Marinette glared at them. “You didn’t listen. You turned against me… for her.”

“You turned against Marinette,” Chloe said slowly. “The girl who did everything for you. And for what? A few glittery stories and false promises?”

           Adrien closed his eyes. Was this why Ladybug distrusted him? Because he didn’t side with Marinette like he knew he should’ve. Plagg had warned him he was wrong. But he just didn’t want to risk losing all his friends like Marinette seemed to be losing hers.

Marinette looked at Rose, “Now I want you think again about every text you all sent me because of Lila Rossi.” Once again the students turned pale. They had been so mean, so harsh, so unbelievable cruel to the girl that had been so dear to their hearts. “Now I want you to remember again that Ladybug saw them.”

           Rose was the first to break out in tears. “I’m-I’m sorry!” She sobbed and struggled to find her words. She had disowned one of her closest friends for a villain. “I’m so sorry!”

           Other students were in the same boat she was. The fiery Alix was had been contemplating going on another tirade against Marinette when Lila walked in, felt her anger be snuffed out a like a campfire in a thunderstorm. The pink haired girl remembered helping lead the charge in showing Marinette what it was like to be bullied; tripping her, ripping of her homework, shoving her. What she done? Kim had been crushing on Lila hard felt crushed. Marinette had been since friend since pre-k, and he just… left her.

           Lila looked honestly confused. She had missed something, and it was big. “What’s going on?”

           Nino glared at the girl; his eyes red, tear streaks his face. “Those numbers tell the world how much Ladybug trusts you. Or how much she doesn’t,” He said darkly, thinking about his own number and his actions against the girl he once called his best friend. “And why.”

“The lower the number,” Adrien added. “The less she trust you.”

           Chloe leaned forward in her seat and sent vicious smirk to the Italian girl, “And guess who has the only negative number in Paris.” She teased. “Besides Hawkmoth, but at least he was smart enough to hide. You’re trending by the way.”

“No!” Lila said, looking around desperately, but all she saw was cold stares. “No!” She pulled out her phone, and sure enough the name Lila Rossi was trending. Her picture with the giant negative number above her head seem to be everywhere. “This can’t be happening! How can this be happening!”

           Marinette stood up, “Because you’re a bad person. You’re mean and you’re cruel. And worst yet, you dragged everyone down with you.” She said. Her voice was righteous or angry. It was like she was stating a fact from a history book. Marinette looked over every single one of her ex-friends, “Ladybug will never trust you again.”

           The bell rang.

“Time for class,” Chloe sang. “Maybe you guys will finally learn something.”

[mcheang]

This was submitted to me by @andromeda612

My ideas were added in orange

Idea/Prompt(? : is a new semester and Marc joins the class! Everybody is happy, Marc is such a sweet boy and a caring friend! Obviously the most happy are Nathaniel, Alix and Marinette.

Lila is not. Some nobody is stealling the attention! And it's not fair! She is dozen times more interesting and is obvious that this boy doesn't like the spotlight! But it's ok, the hype would decrease in a couple days. She would be the center of the universe again.

Except that it didn't happen.

Marc is very likeable specially whe he opens up with his friends, also once he is comfortable enough he shows his 'mom friend' side and is so endearing! Marinette, Alix and Nathaniel are the ones who can see this side of him the most, though. But the class is so touched by it, they also want to help him.

Also he and Nathaniel make one of the most popular comics in Paris, and all the class (even Chloe but she would never admitt it) are fans. Oh and Marc is an awesome writer and storyteller!!! Sometimes they manage to convince him to tell some of his stories and forgot completely about Lila.

Lila: but my stories are real! (You wish!) Isn't it more excited?

Kim: yeah, your experiencies are pretty cool, but Marc's stories are just too AWESOME! even if they are just stories, and he is a very good storyteller... once he controlls his nerves.

Not to mention Lila’s bragging has become rather tiresome

Her ego doesn't like this at all. She tries to befriend the boy, maybe she can take advantange of the new darling of the class (and is obvious Marinette is fond of the guy, so it would be a plus to piss her of)

But it is more difficult than she thougth. Everytime she tries to talk to him he just gives her short answers and stammering, he doesn't even make eye contact, and is hard to mantain a conversation straight. She tried to complaint with her minio... 'friends' but...

Lila’s friendly approach is too forceful and bold for the shy Marc

Max: oh yeah, you see, Marc has a lightly social anxiety, so it takes time for him to open up with new people. With the exception of Marinette, Nathaniel and Alix, apparently they manage to win his trust and friendship very quickly. Like some people would say, they just 'clicked'

Alix: Yeah, and Nathaniel and Marc definitely 'clicked' in more than one way if you know what I mean.

The girls giggle.

(Of course that I HAVE to put some Marcaniel here)

Mylene: is not something personal, it took time for all of us to befriend him, but now we are very good friends, and he even is our new "mom friend" I'm sure you would be his friend too, you just need to be patient.

But patient is not what she is, specially when she has to share the adoration and attention of her dumb classmates. Even Nathaniel, who never was one of her admirers or paid her that much attetion like the others do, seems to has eyes only for him! It was low blow to her ego.

Actually I feel like Lila can be patient if the Ladybug episode was anything to go by...

She tries to speed up the proces by charming him with one of her faboulous 'experiencies' and 'conections'

It backfired bad.

Because when she finished to tell her lie a very confused (and uncomfortable because he is still shy around her) Marc started to point out all the holes in her lie and the wrong facts or nosenses in it, with proof. AND IN FRONT OF THE CLASS

She was sure that having the support of her classmates during her tale would help to amaze him, but now the others are seeing her with a confused frown, she need to fix it!

For her luck Marc was starting to look overwhelmed for the attention their confused classmates were given him, so Marinette took him outside to calm him down. She took the chance and did some damage control. Somehow she manage to save face but was a very close call.

Now, the boy is clever than the rest of her dumb minions, and he actually almost got her exposed, so he is clearly a threath, specially if Marinette talks to him about her lies. If he already didn't find it out by himself.

Lila needs to take care of this new obstacle, so she decides to go hostile.

What Lila doesn't expecto is the Marc protection squad.

It turns out that after that close call some of her classmates were skeptical and noticed that something was off (they already had this feeling since Mari was expelled, but they brush it off, but now...) this classmates are Nathaniel, Alix, Kim and Max.

Alix noticing the mood in her friends was the one who brought up the topic, they talked and after a little thinking and the input of Markov they realized that Lila was lying. Then Alix remember Marinette's claims about Lila and decide to talk to her.

When they found her she is talking with Marc, of course is about Lila and her lies, luckily Marc is a good listener and has his own suspicions. They all talk, Marinette's friends finally listen to her and discover Lila's true colors, they apologize and she forgives them, after all despite Lila's threat they never treated her different and were still good friends with her, it hurt that they brush off her concerns but everybody makes mistakes.

They also discover that Adrien knew, at first they were angry, but then Mari calls Adrien and he explains his motives, and well the poor boy really didn't knew better, but he does now and a deal with devil is punishment enough, also he is the reason Mari's name is clean.

Now that they are in the same page, and Adrien is also present (through video call) Marinette tells that now she is more concerned about Marc.

He almost got Lila exposed and he wasn't even trying! Lila is going to see him as a threat and will make everything to get ride of him, just like she tried with her.

That make all of them worried and angry, Alix and Nathaniel the most. So they decide that the bitch needs to fall.

They would protect Marc (and Marinette because despite the deal they highly doubt that Lila would let her alone) from every scheme Lila tries. They also will research and collect proof to expose her.

Lila's first plan is hostility, the boy is terrible shy, it would be easy intimidate him and use fear to controll him like a puppet.

But every attempt goes wrong or backfire somehow, she is caugh in the middle of some of them, of course she says is all a misunderstanding or an accident, but she can't get close thin ice.

Also she can't cornered nor threaten him like she did with Marinette, the boy is NEVER alone, he is always with Alix, Marinette, Nathaniel, Kim or Max, EVEN ADRIEN would keep him company if either of them aren't near.

Then she tries to frame him, maybe she stole an important object from some classmate and tried to planted it in Marc's school bag, but when she tries to put the item in it her arm gets caught by some trap.

Of course she tries to complain against Marc, but Marinette is quick to defend him, Marc is a little paranoid about his stuff, specially his journal, and due to past accidents with stolen stuff (everybody glares at Chloe) she offered to make some security system for his stuff. Marc frees her arm with the key of the trap and shyly tells her that if she needs to borrow something the next time she just need to ask. The brat actually has the nerve to lectures her.

Marc: it’s rude to touch other's belongings without their permission.

And when Marc looks in his bag and takes out the stolen item she tried to make her move, but before she can even open her mouth the owner inmediatly assumes that somehow they lose it and hugs Marc for finding it and keeping it safe "Thanks mom!"

Aaaaarrrrgggggghhhhhh!

And just badmouthing him won't work, from what she learned about the boy he is a little ball of nerves and so sickenly polite, even Lila has to admitt that it would be hard to believe that the boy was being mean even by accident without a well planted proof. Also all the class seems to adore him, and Alix, Marinette and Nathaniel would defend him with tooth and nail.

She tries again and again, but always end the same, all his stuff is sabotage proof and she ends tramped. And her classmates are starting to look at her with suspicion, because is like the fifth time she is caught and why is she poking around Marc stuff in the first place? And oh! Poor Marc! Is the sixth time in two weeks he almos trip over very bad, and he has have many accidents recently! Is a luck that Alix, Marinette, Nathaniel, Kim, Max and Adrien were always there so it never happen something bad!

Hey! Lila is involved in many of them, some of the accidents were her fault! Is strange, isn't it? (Yep, the squad is sowing the suspicious deeds)

She changes targets, If she can get ride of Marinette again she could drag Marc with her.

But Marinette also has all her stuff with tramps, after her expullsion she is more careful with her stuff and the class is on her side. And now she is more suspicious, first with Marc and now with Marinette, is that she hasn't learned her lesson with all her incidents with Marc? Oh and him? That little wretched boy has the audacy to give her a I'm-not-mad-just-dissapointed look everytime she is caught with Marinette's stuff. The class can't help but agree with their 'mom friend'.

The class is getting wary of her, she is losing control, but she refuses to lose against this nobodies!

Now her exposure: it would be that now that her classmates are suspicious of her they start to take a close eye to her, and they start to notice how she is actually very near of Marc everytime he almost has an accident, and how she would make a comment that sound nice but when you think about it is actually a stab in the back, or how quick she is to blame Marinette, or how she tries to subtle disparage Marc or/and Marinette. And now they are noticing the flaws in her stories.

At the end they fact check and discover the truth, or Lila is caught red handed trying to sabotage Marc or frame Marinette. They complain to Bustier and Damocles with the squad's research, the matter goes to the school board and the principal and the teacher are under scrutiny, Lila's mom is called and she is in so much trouble, karma collect her debt. (Akumatization optional)

Or

Maybe for some reason she manage to get Marc alone, or is what she thought, the squad try to not let him alone but they have a plan for that case. If for whatever reason any of them can't accompany him, Max would let Markov with Marc, and the AI would follow-up closely the writer everywere.

So Lila finally cornered and threaten him (and if you want some bashing she can get violent and actually assaults him) but Markov witnesses everything, and since he is an AI his memories are video and audio recording that can be shown as evidence with his testimony, also Marc gave the consent to be recorded for security because they were suspicious about Lila trying something like that.

And just to put the nail in the coffin, the squad's research is presented to the school board, Damocles and Bustier are under scrutiny, Lila's truancy is discovered and her mom is called, she is exposed to all the class and is in so much trouble, karma happens (akumatization optional)

Or

Maybe she is exposed until the squad present their investigation to the school board and... you know what comes next.

In any case, the rest of the class also apologize to Marinette and promise to do better, she forgive them (because at the end they were still her friends and were always nice to her despite what Lila said, everybody makes mistakes).

Happy ending :D

Bonus: Maybe sometime in the middle of the Protect Marc campaign, or at the end of the take Lila Down, Marc and Nathaniel confess their feelings and start dating :3

[whenimgoodandready]

You guys remember how in “Conquer”, Hekapoo mentioned the Tavern when there was nothing left for the Marc-nificent Seven to do? Ever wonder what that was cuz I always thought it was that bar she and Marco were at along with Talon (“Night Life”) and maybe even where The Kill Devil Pass Riders Club hung out at (“A Boy and His DC-700XE”), but it was actually The Dragon Spit Tavern. So where’s this “Tavern, Tavern” place? Do I need an I.D?

*The Tavern at the End of the Multiverse-Welcome to The Tavern at the End of the Multiverse! A place that sits on the boundary between reality and nonexistence! Where magical beings come to to get away from unruly magic and evil tyrants to just drink, play pool and chill. She says she, Star, Marco, Eclipsa, Meteora and Moon can stay here and be safe and wait for this whole “Mina thing” to blow over............THAT’S IT!? THAT’S THE PLAN!? SIT AROUND AND DO NOTHING WHILE PEOPLE DIE BACK HOME WHILE IT’S RUN BY A PSYCHO B*TCH WARRIOR AND HER ARMY!? I’m seeing a pattern here:In “Battle for Mewni:”Return to Mewni”/“Puddle Defender”, that was Moons idea cuz she never had a plan, then it was Toms plan when there was nothing left to do about Meteora’s rampage (“Conquer”) and more importantly, it was Stars “go-to” solution by running away from her problems before her character development! Poeple! People! We👏🏻need👏🏻to👏🏻do👏🏻something!👏🏻 IT’S THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT!

The only reason all this sh*t is happening is cuz it’s all Moons fault! No thanks to her, Stars friends are fatally injured, Globgors bedridden, Monsters are in danger, Mewni is nearly destroyed and worst of all, Star hates Moon! To the point where she won’t even acknowledge her existence! Are you happy now, Moon!? Huh!? Are you!? Out of everything in your bad parenting throughout the show with Star:1.attempting to send her to St.Olgas! (“Star Comes to Earth”) 2.forbidding her from playing Flags with the family! (“Game of Flags”) 3.making her go through a corny “Princess Song”! (“Face the Music”) 4.forcing her to leave Earth! (“Starcrushed”) 5.not doing a God damn thing to stop Ludo/Toffee! (“Battle for Mewni:”Return to Mewni”/“Puddle Defender”) 6.not taking her side on Eclipsas innocence! (“Stranger Danger”) 7.not explaining the differences on what exactly is a Monster! (“Starfari”) 8.ignoring her about Mina crashing her Monster/Mewman mixer party! (“The Bogbeast of Boggabah”) 9.not trusting Eclipsa and basically abandoning Star! (“Moon Remembers”) and 10.not warning her about Minas upcoming attack on Eclipsa! (“Ghost of Butterfly Castle”), but no Moon! Nooooooo! This! THIS! Is what makes Star see you as the scum of Mewni! What’s more hurtful!? This ep (along with the other double 11min ep), came out on Mother’s Day! SO HAPPY F*CKING MOTHERS DAY! MOON! Star HATES YOU!!! (echos on “You”). Eclipsa agrees me that this is a bad idea to just sit around and do nothing cuz her husband back home is dying! Thank you! Eclipsa our now former queen is the only one thinking logically about this and let me just say-Wait, Eclipsa, what are you doing with that pool stick!?.............you’re gonna play pool!? After what’s going on!? WTF!? Oh! You’re life’s a mess. I see, let me go through the list:1.She and her mother had opposing views on Monsters (The Magic Book of Spells, Solaria and Eclipsas Chapters), 2.she was forced to marry a man she didn’t love (The Magic Book of Spells, Eclipsas Chapter), 3.she got seperated from her second husband and daughter, 4.she had to get her name cleared (“Butterfly Trap”) and 5.the Mewmans hated her when she became queen (“Yada Yada Berries”). She NEVER had a time off to just chill, so I guess maybe she deserves this after all the sh*t she went through, huh? Despite everything that went down, she thanks Moon for convincing Rhombulus to free Globgor since she at least got her family back (“Cornonation”). Well, least something still likes her.

It’s no Happy Hour on Mewni that’s for sure! Mina was getting ready to push every Monster (and “Monster smoocher”) over a cliff (those poor Buff Kids. Mina you’re horrible!), but stops when she wants it to be grand to have Globgor go with it. Thankfully, River and Eddie has hidden him away and are doing everything they can to save him! (Bless You River!). As for Stars friends, their wound are getting worse! Quirky Guy confides to Janna about how he never achieved being cool, but is okay with being “quirky”. This probably woke Janna there, maybe she thought she was cool only to just be satisfied with being quirky too. Yeah, you’re quirky Janna, but we love you for that anyway! It’s what makes you, You! And also-*POP* 😱 OMG! THEY KILLED QUIRKY! YOU BASTARDS! It’s getting worse for Globgor too! RIVER! GET TO THE SANCUTARY ASAP AND SAVE GLOBGOR!

Star declares she hates magic and wants it destroyed! WHOA! WHOA! WHOA THERE GIRL! Are you f*cking serious!? Destroy magic!? Okay, so maybe it did cause a lot of trouble for you. In fact, why don’t I make that list! (sorry, I just Love making lists) I’m a list maker:1.It caused Toffee to gain control over it (“Storm the Castle”), 2.It made her new wand even more unstable with magic (“My New Wand!”), 3.It gave Ludo power (“Ludo in the Wild”), 4.A simple gift card almost got her and Marco killed (“Gift of the Card”), 5.it almost destroyed her universe (“Mathmagic”), 6.it made Toffee almost kill her mom and the MHC (“Starcrushed”), 7.it causes her problems with her Mewberty form (“Sweet Dreams”/“Night Life”), 8.it almost got everyone killed (“Divide”/“Conquer”), 9.it killed her! (“Battle for Mewni:”Toffee”) and more recently, IT TURNED A PEASANT GIRL INTO AN INDESTRUCABLE SUPERMEWMAN ALONG WITH AN ARMY TO GO WITH IT! Thanks a million to the worst Queens in all of Mewni! I’m lookin’ at you Solaria and Moon! :P Although, there are some good things about magic too, First AND ONLY evidence, ✨💖Starco! 💖✨After her temper tantrum, she finds out Glossaryck is in the Tavern too and goes to confront him about this magic business. Okay, so here’s the plan, an actual plan! Since Mina and the Solarian army are invincible, we got three options on what to do:

1.Stay in the Tavern and chill.

2.Moon gives Eclipsa back the wand, so she can use her total annhilation spell on Mina and her army even if it means causing more destruction

3.Moon can go make amends with Star and they can all go back to kick Minas a**!

The last part seems legit! Let’s go with that! Hey Star! Moon wants to talk to-Why are you shoving yourself in Glossarycks eye!? Star!? *POP*.................STAR WHERE’D THE F*CK YOU GO!?

Star lands in “Glossarycks dimension” where she reveals her plan to destroy the magic by saying The Whispering Spell (“Storm the Castle”/“Battle for Mewni:”Toffee”) in the Realm of Magic!🤯. WHOOOOOOOOA! Slow your roll there girl! You’re just angry! You don’t mean that!? Do you? Glossaryck too thinks it’s drastic and (in the most cartoony fashion) shows her what will happen if she does destroy the magic by pulling out The Tapestry Room (a.k.a. The Grandma Room). Yup! It’s that room! The place where we got the answer on who “Spades” (Eclipsa) was (“Into the Wand”) and how it what got Daron thinking about making more grandmothers (The Magic Book of Spells). It was also where we all finally got to see what the fandoms been demanding since the book came out, Star meeting all the past Queens of Mewni! (they all had glowing blank white eyes. It was freaky!). They were all looking at Stars Tapestry! (it looked different from the last time we saw it. It was more colorful and cute, but now it’s more dark and bold colored like the rest. And finished!). It depicted Star standing over a black goo puddle holding the Solarian Blade with her parents, Monsters and Eclipsa and Globgor smiling behind her. What we could take from that is Star successfully defeated Mina Loveberry by destroying the magic, Moon and Star making amends, the Monsters safe and Globgor healed and reunited with Eclipsa. Looks to be all “good” right? Weeeeeeeeelllll, you guys aren’t really looking at “the big picture”................(whispers) Marco’s missing! Did he not survive!? Is he dead!? What happened!? Oh! He’s just back on Earth where he belongs. No Magic=No Marco😢 (and no Glossaryck cuz he’s not in the tapestry as well). With no magic means no more dimensional scissors, no more Mewberty portal traveling, no more magic wells, NO MORE STARCO! 😭. So I guess this means Toffee was right! He was right all along! From having Star destroy her wand (“Storm the Castle”) to corrupting the Realm of Magic (“Battle for Mewni:”Toffee”) it was all to keep all this abuse from happening! WOW! Who would’ve thought a bad guy was trying to fix everything this entire time! SURPRISE! (screams) WTF!? So, after what we just saw, what’s Star gonna do?..................she’s gonna destroy the magic anyway!? Don! Don! Don!

First off, Thank you Hekapoo for saving the gang from Mina except what followed was stupid cuz we basically have no plan and the main idea for people in this show is to “just chill and wait for all this to blow over” and it never works, sooooooooo yeah! Second, I know Moon feels like sh*t right now after what went down and that Star hates her with a firey passion and will probably never forgive her for it, but like I had mentioned, she’s not like Mina. She doesn’t like putting innocent people in danger just to make a point and even though she failed a spot check on teaming up with Mina, nobody’s perfect. Not even Moon the Undaunted. Sure Eclipsa was incompetant as a queen, but that doesn’t mean you had to put her life in danger! Along with Stars friends and Globgor! We all make mistakes (some worse than others), but the thing about making mistakes is we can all learn from it! Like, for example, Moon learned to never work with mentally unstable washed up psycho b*tch warriors! If that tapestry was correct than I’m sure Moon and Star can rekindle their relationship. Let’s hope River and Eddie can make it in time for the sancutary to save Globgor otherwise it’s “Pop Goes the Monster” for him! And who’s next on Stars list of friends!? Rich Pigeon!? Kelly!? PONY HEAD!? You know sh*ts gonna go down when even JANNA is freaking out about this! SOMEONE JUST DIED BEFORE HER VERY EYES! That’s traumatizing! Star seemed to be overreacting there on the whole “Destroy All Magic” thing, but is it really the best idea!? I mean, maybe if she had stuck around a bit and listened to Eclipsas third option it would’ve all been done by now! Glossaryck seemed freaked out when Star told him about her plan to destroy magic and I’m not sure if he showed her her tapestry to let her know it was a bad idea or if it was to save his own a** since he won’t exist after that (shrugs). Thirdly, with the whole “grandma reunion” I was pretty disappointed that we didn’t get to hear any of them speak with voice actors and just murmure whispers. Was this for us fans to shut up about giving us what we want!? Like, did it go something like this, “Alright! Fine! You guys want Star meeting her ancestors!? Fine! Her you go!? But guess what!? They won’t talk! You know why!? Cuz we don’t have that like of budget or time CUZ WE GOT A F*CKING SHOW TO WRAP UP OVER HERE!” :P. Sounds pretty passive-aggressive to me. Just sayin’. As for Stars comment on why Marco was sent to Mewni when Glossaryck said he belonged on Earth, I can vouch for that! Ahem! FIRST BORN SENT HIM THERE CUZ STAR ASKED TO GO TO MEWNI! (“Mama Star”). DOY! That’s why he was in the Lint Catcher! I don’t know about her sending Moon to Pie Island, but I’m guessing this it was Marcos first time in the Realm of Magic, she sent him to Mewni cuz of Stars orders and Moon to Pie Island cuz she sensed she belonged there. That’s just my theory. Finally, what really hurts is that Star is willing to sacrifice her relationship with Marco to defeat Mina (she finally called him her boyfriend 😢). Is this it!? Is this funny to the creators!? Giving us Starco, after 4 years of shipping, fanarts, fanfics, theorizes and dedication to the show, only to snatch it out of our hands! YOU SICK MINDED F*CKS! HOW DARE YOU!? IF THERE WAS AN ANGERLY CRYING EMOJI I’D PUT IT UP! This’ll end up being Stars shortest relationship in the history of the show! Why does Daron hate us!? As for Toffee, well, I heard people say he didn’t want the magic destroyed for the greater good cuz he was only doing it for his own benefit. He never wanted equality for Monsters/Mewmans, just superiority for Monsters and mostly his people the Septarians. So even if his goal was selfish, it was right to not let it fall under the wrong hands. Especially when it’s in the hands of someone who went through the trope From Nobody To Nightmare (def.)-an unknown individual who undergoes a transformation that makes them empowered, but becomes notorious. Toffees long since dead, but his last dying words were true. Only he knew how things would turn out! I’m over my limit

[charmedguy18]

Full moon: Ember

                                                          Prelude: The Scene sets in a dark green forest that is well lit by the light from fireflies that swarms it on this full mooned night. Deep in the middle of this enchanted forest sits a young guy with his pen and notepad, book of spells and his cards. Some knows about his witchery that he does however most do not. This forest is his safe place, his hideaway where nobody can find him and that allows him to clear his mind.

                                                          ACT one: After a stressfull day, Lex finds himself wandering through the forest that was known to everyone as the Devils playground. It was given that name due to its history of where people went to practice their magick and unfortunate sacrifices. He claimed this wooded area as his home away from reality with its natural lighting and clear waters that ran through it. Nobody knew that this place of recorded danger was his place of peace and solitude.

Lex's phone rings just in time after he finishes excerising his psychic abilities all alone in the middle of his hide away. "Hey, wassup?" he answers. " Not much man, just wondering how you been...I haven't heard from you in awhile and it seems as if nobody has been able to get ahold of you...is everything ok?". Cesaro, with deep concern, questions Lex's where abouts and why he's been a ghost. "Sorry about that....i...i just been staying to myself and been entangled in my thoughts.". He replies.

Cesaro: Dude you know you can't just go ghost on us---

Lex: I know...I know and I'm sorry....

Cesaro:  look...we just care about you...every since that one accident...

Lex: Now why would you bring that up? You know I'm still healing from that...

Ces: It's been a year.

Lex: I don't care....he died in my arms as i drug his body out of that house....I couldn't bring him back....I loved him....just have a hard time letting go...had i fought harder for him maybe he would be here now....or maybe just maybe if I went with him i could have protected him...

Ces: Or maybe if you would have told him you are psychic and a magician he would have never went to that party.....i still can't believe you never told him..

Lex: There's a reason why i never told him...He would've thought that I was crazy and wouldn't talk to me no longer....look it doesn't matter. He's gone and I can't bring him back nor do I have the power to...I just need time to heal.

One year ago, Lex lost a very good friend of his....Lance. He and Lex were the best of friends although Lex never out right just told him how he felt. Lance had an idea of said feelings but never really touched on it due to not wanting to make things awkward. The night before Halloween Lance went to a house party where a few of his friends were but had no idea that what was supposed to be a fun night out for him ended up being a night full of sorrow for Lex. Lance was a nice guy that everyone got along with however he often found himself in multiple dangerous situations...I guess you can say that he lived on the edge dangerously and lived for the adrenaline. To this very day nobody knows who opened fire that night and ended up shooting him through the heart except for one person...ultimately leaving him lifeless. Now we have a depressed Lex that’s full of guilty feeling lost and alone.

Ces: He's not himself and hasn't been in a while.

Rayne:  I know....I still haven't really held a good conversation with him since....well you know when.

Ces: Are you still hung up on that shit too??

"He was my friend too!!" Rayne shouted. "Friend!?...ya'll were friends huh?? more like fuck buddies if you asked me!!!" an irate Cesaro screamed at the top of his lungs. Before Lance's death, he and Rayne had a secret relationship that barely anybody knew about...not even Lex and they were all best friends.

Rayne: How in the hell did you know that!!!

Ces: You must have have forgotten that Lance and I were really tight until a female started to come in between us and ruined "Bro Time"...I didn't know that it was you that he was talking to until he showed up to my apartment sporting the same crescent moon indentation as you on his arm....You are so lucky that I kept it to myself and spared Lex's feelings. You have no idea how many times I listened to him crying and wishing that Lance loved him the way he loved him NO IDEA!!

Rayne: .....You're right....absolutely right....I’m really sorry....I didn't think....Lance told me that Lex had a thing for him but was trying to distance himself from him until his feelings for him dissipated..but it was hard for him to do so because he knew how much that would hurt him and that he couldn't stand to break his heart...

Ces: Lance wasn't gay though.

Rayne: you're right...but he never claimed straight either Ces: Oh damn....it makes since why he would always try to make Lex happy...

Rayne: Apparently they had something going on or whatever but only reason why we hooked up those times was because we was lonely...and needed that connection. It felt good for a while but things started to get complicated and it wasn’t long that we had to part ways for a while...reason why i didn't go to the party with him plus my ex was going to be there too but had i still went I'd be dead too.

Rayne's ex boyfriend Marc couldn't stand Lance and his somewhat clean image. He felt as if Lance was better than everybody and was hell bent on causing him major destruction. Lex goes home to his apartment at Firestone villas on the outskirts of  Constellation ranch. He paces the living room with his mind racing at 100 miles per hour. His head filled with guilt, sorrow and stress while he's feeling lost and alone. He reaches for his Egyptian dagger and begins to make slits on his arms and legs a form of relief and ease tension off of his heavy soul. So that nobody will catch on to the harm that he does to himself, He recites the Latin healing spell that brings his body back to its original scar-less form.  His phone lights up in the darkened bedroom in which he lies in with tears still falling from his eyes.

Lex: ...Hello?

Rayne: Hey there my mystic oracle. how are you doing?

Lex: ehh...i’m alright just here in bed jamming out to some Midnight Hour before I retire for the night. Wassup?

Rayne: Not much Cesaro and I wanted to make sure you was OK (Cesaro chimes in to say hi) ..you know we worry about you.

Lex: Thank you. I appreciate that a lot. Both Rayne and Ces: No problem, are you feeling any better?

Lex: Somewhat....like i said before , it's going to take some time to heal from lance's death on top of this chronic sadness---

Cesaro: How about you smoke some chronic?

Rayne: Cesaro-Miguel!!!

Cesaro: What!? hell it could probably help him.

Lex: Look i don't need drugs...I just need time and for this healing process to be as smooth as possible...however i’m coming to a conclusion that what I so desperately need...doesn't exist for me...

Rayne: Don’t say that..

Lex: why not? It's true. Look history says that the more i get close to a guy the more they push away...until they leave...I’m tired and need to at least attempt to get some sleep but there’s this big ass bat that looking at me though my window with its bright yellow eyes...

Rayne: You been drinking?

Lex: No..

Ces: Lies!!!

Lex: (laughs) no lies...but let me get some sleep, I gotta get up early in the morning. Good night y'all.

Both: Rayne and Ces: Night bud

Lex goes to his window to look at the mysterious bat. He looks at it with confusion is his eyes because the winged creature spread its wings  as if it was getting ready for a hug. Still in awe Lex looks at the bat and wanted to take a picture of it but the bat started to flap his wings and flew towards the full moon in the sky leaving Lex to get a feeling of warmth and protection.

[lady-divine-writes]

Kurtbastian one-shot - “Four Minutes” (Rated NC17)

After being apart for a week, Sebastian rushes over to his boyfriend's house with the promise of sex all night long, until Kurt screams his name.

But that's not exactly how it goes down. (1343 words)

I set this in high school, with Kurt as a senior at McKinley and Sebastian a senior at Dalton, because I would have loved to have seen Kurt spending his senior year having all sorts of dirty sex with this handsome boy. Dare to dream ;) Also, for anybody curious, these are Kurt's pants.

Read on AO3.

“God, I want you so bad!” Sebastian growls, the sentence finishing with his tongue in Kurt’s mouth as he lifts Kurt up and attacks his lips. Kurt giggles and squirms, tries to turn his head to the side so he can speak, but Sebastian pins him to Kurt’s bedroom wall, kissing unrelentingly, unwilling to let Kurt free for a second. They’d been apart for a week – a show choir competition taking Sebastian and the rest of The Warblers to New York while Kurt stayed behind in Ohio and sulked. Sebastian did everything he could to bring Kurt with short of shoving him into his suitcase, but the invitational The Warblers were performing at coincided with mid-terms at McKinley, and if Kurt was going to get into a college without the word “community” in the name, he’d have to ace them all.

That meant no cutting classes to fly off to New York, the city of Kurt’s dreams, to watch his boyfriend shake his ass on stage.

“Do you?” Kurt teases. He finally gives in, stops the struggle and lets Sebastian assault him at will, only wincing once when Sebastian squeezes his ass – not because it hurts, but because Kurt didn’t have the chance to change before Sebastian barreled over to his house straight from the airport. Kurt is still wearing his favorite Marc Jacobs silk pants, and Sebastian is stretching the seams.

Sebastian squeezes again and pulls Kurt close, rutting against him. Sebastian’s erection, already thick, strains against the fly of his slacks, and Kurt decides fuck it. If Sebastian shreds these pants, it’ll be for a good cause.

Besides, Kurt can always get him to replace them. These are kind of last season anyway.

“A-ha,” Sebastian groans. “It’s been so damn long. Fucking you all night … it’s all I’ve been able to think about. Thank God your family isn’t home,” Sebastian whispers, hot and hoarse against Kurt’s cheek. “I wanna hear you scream my name.”

Kurt’s face burns hot, his heart pounding in anticipation. God, that sounds so good right now. “So you weren’t spending all of your down time getting better acquainted with your right hand then I take it?”

Sebastian huffs, lips and teeth moving down Kurt’s neck. “Are you kidding? Do you know who I was rooming with? Two Mormons and a Jehovah’s Witness epically cramping my style. Besides, I promised you I wouldn’t.”

“True. But you do make a lot of promises.”

“And I keep every one.” Sebastian chuckles darkly. “Especially the bad ones. What about you? You put on any Celine Dion and romance yourself while I was gone?”

“Believe it or not, I was able to restrain myself.” It helps that Kurt has never really been too comfortable with masturbation, and that privacy in his house, even with the door locked, could be severely lacking at times. Tonight, with his dad and Carole out of town and Finn spending the night at Rachel’s, is a gift.

“Really?”

“Mm-hmm. I was holding out for this, so you’d better make it worth my while, Smythe.”

“Oh, I will.” Sebastian’s mouth slides down Kurt’s neck to the place where a single swipe of his tongue will make Kurt tremble. “You can count on that.”

“So, tell me …” Kurt gasps when Sebastian’s mouth, the mouth Kurt’s been missing, the one he’s been dreaming about going down on him, gnaws at his shoulder, then takes a leisurely trip back up his neck to his ear “… what exactly have you been thinking about?”

“How I’m going to have you on all fours. How I’m going to pound your ass for hours.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah. That’s so.”

“Well …” Kurt wriggles out of Sebastian’s grasp. He likes Sebastian’s vision, but he has a few ideas of his own “… I might like to offer an alternative.” He opens Sebastian’s fly and sticks his hand down his pants. Long fingers wrap around Sebastian’s cock, and Sebastian’s head falls back, eyelids fluttering shut.

“Jesus Christ, Kurt!” he moans, grinding into Kurt’s fist. His body shudders, and he knows something disastrous is about to happen. He feels the edge of it rippling beneath his skin, trying to force its way through, but he railroads on, trying to ignore it. He can push through, overcome; he’s always been able to. It doesn’t matter that Kurt’s the ultimate. It doesn’t matter that Kurt is, by far, the sexiest boy that Sebastian has ever hooked up with, even if he’d tried his hardest at first to deny it, to cover those thoughts up with insults and cheap jabs. It doesn’t even matter one single bit that Kurt has already started tearing Sebastian’s clothes off – literally - one button flying through the air and landing on the floor, skittering away to God knows where. Sebastian loves when Kurt gets like this. He’s so animal, so fierce. He knows what he wants and he goes for it. Sebastian would have never guessed that of him, that he wouldn’t just roll over on his back and expose his belly like an eager bitch. Kurt doesn’t ask for permission, he just takes and takes and ...

Is that his mouth on Sebastian’s …?

Sebastian’s eyelids fly open, that edge beneath his skin tearing through with the flaming heat of an active volcano. “O-oh …” he stammers. “Oh God … oh no …”

Four minutes later …

Kurt sighs. It’s not subtle. Not at all. He breathes in through his nose and out through his mouth with a breathy, disappointed, “Hmph,” at the end. This is the twelfth time in two minutes that he’s done that.

That’s not a good sign.

Kurt and Sebastian didn’t make it to the bed. After the initial shock of Kurt’s mouth on Sebastian’s cock, Sebastian became paralyzed … until he started to cum, jerking into Kurt’s mouth like his body was trying, against Sebastian’s will, to shove his cock down Kurt’s throat. Then his knees gave out, and after that, he couldn’t find the energy to crawl. So that’s where they stayed, lying side-by-side on the floor, not talking, not touching. They’re only a foot-and-a-half from where they started. Kurt’s bedroom door isn’t even shut.

Sebastian sneaks a look at Kurt. Before Kurt can sneak his own peek at Sebastian, Sebastian’s eyes dart back to the ceiling.

“So …” Kurt sighs a thirteenth time. He leaves that one word hanging in the air between them, giving Sebastian an opening to apologize, possibly beg for forgiveness.

“So …” Sebastian exhales in frustration “… was it good for you?”

Kurt snaps his head and glares, ready to lay into the conceited asshat he insanely refers to as his boyfriend, but he sees Sebastian’s tight-lipped embarrassment, his cheeks turning a shade of red Kurt has only seen on Japanese candy, and he blurts out a laugh, eyes squinting tight until tears leak from the seams. “No! Not in the slightest!”

“Hey!” Sebastian whines when Kurt snorts. “It isn’t that funny!”

“You’re right. It isn’t,” Kurt agrees, no for Kurt, anyway, although it kinda is – the great, self-proclaimed sex fanatic Sebastian Smythe, the fabled French Whore of Westerville, lasted all of a minute forty-five seconds inside his boyfriend’s mouth. At the start of the year, when Sebastian was trying to undermine Kurt and The New Directions, Kurt would have found that hilarious.

It still is, but in a more ironic sense.

“Well …” Sebastian turns on his side to look at his boyfriend “… are you kicking me out now, or do I get the chance to make it up to you?”

Kurt rolls to face him. “You’d better make it up to me, or I’m dumping your ass right this minute.”

Sebastian smirks like the devil, confidence returning, as he rolls onto his hands and knees and climbs over Kurt’s body. Kurt crunches up to kiss him, to reignite some of that heat from earlier, but Sebastian’s hand on Kurt’s shoulder pushes him away. “Nu-uh-uh,” he tuts, “you’d better put that mouth away for now. It’s dangerous.”

[bleepbloo]

The Devil in the Sunlight (Pt. 1) Reaction

Spoilers under the cut!

First off, let me state that I love and am a little surprised by Mister Quanyii. I mean, hats off for nonbinary rep, but, I guess I’m just surprised by the source????

Does this mean Sir Caroline is Bi-sexual or Pansexual with a preference for women???? It just brings a lot of weird cans- not bad cans, mind, just, weird questions. 

It makes perfect sense for Quanyii, I mean, I’m just surprised by it. In a good way! Just surprised. 

Also, I love Olala. She’s unabashedly honest, even when it goes against her. Very, very cute.

Also, I missed Sir Angelo.  

Also, also, what the hell is Sir Caroline on?? 

“Anything that *might be* a monster should be brought.

I mean, on one hand, I understand it, because she knows her wife- her wife can be anything or anyone, so I think she’s being extra cautious?? Still, it doesn’t explain why she’s bringing it to others.

Though, I think the latter bit can be explained with Sir Absolom. 

Oh, Sir Absolom. I was looking forward to meeting you, because, heart to heart, I NOW KNOW FOR SURE MARC USED TO DATE YOU. Or if not date, USED TO BE FRIENDS WITH YOU! You two have a very similar personality, except where Marc is empathetic and kind and relates to people, even monsters, you just want slaughter and hurt people. In fact, and here’s a personal opinion here, if Marc was able-bodied, he and Absolom might still be best friends in arms. 

Like, holy shit, Sir Richard the Thorough can’t even find 5 Witches, much less 3, because there are none there!! But because Absolom demands that he find 5, he’s going to have to persecute innocent people just so he can keep his job!! Sir Absolom is the epitome of everything wrong with the Second Citadel, and I cannot wait! For his shit! To get kicked in!!!

I love to hate him. 

In fact, even more than that, this explains Sir Damien’s protest against the way Sir Absolom & Sir Caroline are running things- though by Sir Absolom’s talking to himself, it sounds like he doesn’t know that Damien is protesting at all. Which means the Queen is hiding it from Sir Absolom, at the very least. Though, why, I can’t be sure. 

However, it will come up as Sir Angelo- due to being gone for weeks on end- definitely hasn’t heard of Sir Damien’s protests and now, official resignation. Which. Yikes, I’m not looking forward to that particular reaction.

Oh. Oh. I’m at the part now where Caroline’s describing all the various monsters in the various locations. Dampierre is definitely in trouble if Sir Caroline catches wind of the fact that they’re not exactly a normal horse. 

I can’t imagine the stress Dampierre’s under....which explains the bad hair styling.  

Honestly, the only thing I’m worried about is if Marc knows Dampierre’s a monster or not. 

Oh, Olala. 

......Wait, hold on, go back to the monster eating a child, i want to hear more about that. Or the shapeshifter eating the child. I have a feeling things are more complex as that. 

Oh man, well. Sir Angelo he arrived, and also, that anti-magic stone is going to come up again, I can feel it. 

Also.

wow, that ending. 

Jesus. 

Welp. Here’s hoping that Olala will survive this. 

[jodyedgarus]

Did The Vegas Golden Knights Actually Get Better?

Last season was among the zaniest in NHL history. An expansion team came within three games of winning the Stanley Cup. A New Jersey Devil won the Hart Trophy as the league’s MVP. The Washington Capitals didn’t lose to the Pittsburgh Penguins in the second round of the playoffs — and went on to lift Lord Stanley’s shiny silver salad bowl for the first time in franchise history. As the NHL’s 2018-19 campaign is set to begin, we shouldn’t expect a repeat of last season, but what can we expect? Let’s have a look.

Could Vegas somehow be better than it was in year one?

The Vegas Golden Knights entered the 2017-18 NHL season without much in the way of expectations. Their roster was the best assembled by an expansion franchise in league history, but even that didn’t seem to matter — it just meant the Knights would be relatively bad, instead of embarrassingly bad, right?

Oh what a difference the best expansion season in sports history can make.

The Knights enter this season with the same Stanley Cup odds as the defending champion Capitals (14-to-1),1 and they seem less like a glitzy desert novelty and more like a team built to make a deep playoff run. Vegas would have challenged for Western Conference pre-eminence even if they had made exactly zero roster moves during the summer. But the Knights added depth on the offensive side of the bench, signing veteran center Paul Stastny and trading for sharp-shooting left winger Max Pacioretty. Stastny makes the Knights a better possession team: His abilities at the dot (his career faceoff win percentage is 53.9) should bolster a troupe of centermen who tied for the eighth-worst faceoff win percentage in the league last season. Pacioretty makes up for the goals Vegas lost when James Neal signed with the Calgary Flames: Pacioretty has scored 30 or more goals each season in which he’s played more than 70 games.

Vegas returns four players who scored at least 55 points and at least 20 goals — and while it’s probably too soon to ordain William Karlsson and Jonathan Marchessault as superstars, each played as such last season.

So the team shouldn’t struggle to score. And if goalie Marc-Andre Fleury finds the same form he showed off during the playoffs last season — when he was a beast — the Knights also won’t have much trouble preventing other teams from scoring goals.

Can Canada win its first Cup since the early 1990s?

The last Canadian team to win the Cup was the Montreal Canadiens, all the way back in 1993. This season, two of the three teams with the shortest odds to win it all hail from the Great White North: the Winnipeg Jets and the Toronto Maple Leafs.

The Jets return seven skaters who scored 43 or more points last season, each of whom is at least 6 feet tall. The Jets are big and fast and scary, and they’re nearly as good at protecting their own net as they are shelling the net of their opponents: Winnipeg scored the second-highest number of goals in the NHL last season and conceded the fifth-fewest. If goalie Connor Hellebuyck plays as well as he did last season, the Jets might do what seemingly everyone thought they were going to do last spring: win the Cup.

Like their Canadian neighbors to the west, the Leafs look to be devastating in the offensive zone. Last season, they notched 270 goals, tied for third in the league. And their power play, which ranked second in 2017-18, will be even better with the addition of longtime Islander John Tavares — 213 of his 621 career points have come with the man advantage. Having to choose between Tavares and Auston Matthews to center the top power play unit is a dilemma that Leafs coach Mike Babcock will no doubt be happy to have.

Canadians like hockey a lot more than Americans do, so it feels a bit cruel that they haven’t been able to celebrate a Stanley Cup title in nearly three decades. If the Jets and the Leafs can manage to pick up where they left off last season and continue to pour goals in with apparent ease, all that might finally change in 2019.

Will another new name be etched on the Cup?

Last season, the Caps ended 42 seasons of Cupless hockey in Washington, while two other teams to have never won it — Winnipeg and Vegas — reached the semifinals or beyond. This season, there are two franchises that have been knocking on the door for years that hope to end their own long Cupless streaks.

We already know why the San Jose Sharks are contenders: Their rearguard is lousy with winners of the Norris Trophy (given to the league’s top defenseman) who are in the habit of putting up massive point totals. Brent Burns and Erik Karlsson, whom the Sharks traded for this summer, won’t be paired together at even strength, but they’ll hurt teams on the power play, along with Joe Thornton, Joe Pavelski and Evander Kane.

Speaking of Thornton: There are a lot of miles on those legs (and lots of debris in that beard, shorter though it may be), and he’s no longer the player he was when he was 30. But he says he feels rested and healthy as he heads into his 21st season playing in the NHL. And there are precious few playmakers you’d rather have centering a line with goalscorers like Pavelski and Kane patrolling the half boards than a rested and healthy Joe Thornton. Thornton also appears to be happy about the Karlsson trade.

If the Nashville Predators don’t strike soon, they’ll be in danger of joining San Jose’s ranks as perennial bridesmaids. Last season, the Preds finished the regular season with the most points in the league but underperformed in the playoffs.2 While Nashville doesn’t have a true offensive superstar, they’re stacked at the back: P.K. Subban, who won a Norris Trophy in 2013, and Roman Josi are among the best 10 defensemen on the planet, and Ryan Ellis and Mattias Ekholm aren’t bad either. That group of four, along with goalie Pekka Rinne, are the reason the Preds conceded the second-fewest goals in the league last season.

Or will the postseason mainstays add to their trophy case?

Deference must be given to the Capitals: They enter as the defending champions, and their roster is filled with many of the players who’ve made the team so consistently good for the past decade. It remains to be seen how much the post-celebration hangover — especially Alexander Ovechkin’s — will affect Washington’s play early on, but the Caps should be taken seriously as a repeat threat.

Also in the mix should be two frequent contenders: the Pittsburgh Penguins and the Boston Bruins. Both clubs will rely on high-scoring top lines and lethal power plays, which were crucial ingredients to their relative successes last season (they each made it to the second round of the playoffs). Penguins superstar Sidney Crosby is still one of the two best players in the world,3 and all he’s ever done in Pittsburgh is win. And if Boston’s temperamental talisman Brad Marchand can stop licking — and elbowing — people’s faces and instead focus on scoring goals, he could be a candidate to win the Art Ross Trophy, given to the league’s top point-getter. That’s a big if, though: He’s been suspended six times since 2011, and nothing in his past suggests that he’s learned his lesson. Boston fans will be forced to hold their collective breath every time Marchand takes the ice and to hope that he does something like this instead of something like this.

If there’s a sleeper in the league, it might be the Los Angeles Kings, who have won two Stanley Cup titles this decade but were swept away by Vegas in the first round of the playoffs last season. They gave up the fewest goals in 2017-18 and boasted the league’s stingiest penalty kill. But while they were effective at keeping goals out of their own net, they were mediocre at putting them into the nets of their opponents: The Kings were in the middle of the pack in goals scored and power play percentage. The signing of Ilya Kovalchuk may change that. Kovalchuk is 35 years old and hasn’t played in an NHL game since 2013, but the Kings are hoping he can find some of the magic that allowed him to score 816 points in 816 career games. Whether or not the Russian still has some goals in his locker may determine if the Kings are first-round doormats or a team built for a Stanley Cup run.

And let’s not forget about the Tampa Bay Lightning, who will be out to avenge their Eastern Conference finals loss to the Capitals. They’re the only team in the NHL that can match the blueline depth of the Preds, and their forward group isn’t half-bad either: They got 186 points from just Steven Stamkos and Nikita Kucherov last season. Then there’s Andrei Vasilevskiy, who is one of the best goalies in the league — his quality starts percentage of .706 in the playoffs was far greater than his career regular-season mark of .517. And if we’ve learned anything, it’s that a hot goalie is crucial to success in the postseason.

from News About Sports https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/did-the-golden-knights-actually-get-better/

[flauntpage]

DGB Grab Bag: Automatic Backup Goalie, Selanne Van Damme, and Cap Laundering

Three Stars of Comedy

The third star: Jon Cooper – He's apparently not into this whole "keeping secrets" thing.

We later found out that the tablet just read "Keep pretending we don't want to trade Vladislav Namestnikov until someone coughs up a top-pair defenseman for him."

The second star: Teemu Selanne goes Van Damme – Next up, he has to throw the Penguins' mascot into an industrial deep fryer.

Bonus points for the socks.

The first star: Marc-Andre Fleury – This post-olympic curling fad is official out of control.

Man, that's the best sweeping we'll see in Vegas until they run into a decent playoff opponent.

Be It Resolved

The Rangers were one of the deadline's biggest sellers. They moved Rick Nash and Ryan McDonagh in separate blockbusters and made other smaller deals to add picks and prospects. It was a somewhat unusual call by GM Jeff Gorton given that the team was still in the playoff race until relatively recently, but represented a clear signal that the team is now firmly in rebuild mode.

Earlier this year, a new trend emerged around the league in which teams would appoint permanent emergency backup goalies. The players were typically amateurs or semi-pros with more experience that the typical emergency backup of years gone by, and they'd agree to be at each home game and ready to go in case both a team's regular goalies got hurt. It's a terrible idea, and we said so at the time.

I know those last two paragraphs don't seem like they're related, but they are. Stick with me, I'm getting there.

The Rangers' teardown was impressive—they ended up adding at least two first round picks and maybe three, a few decent prospects and some young NHL players. But when it comes to New York's rebuild, there's an elephant in the room: Henrik Lundqvist. The star goalie turns 36 today and still has three full years left on a contract that carries an $8.5 million cap hit. He's never won a Cup, despite some devastating near-misses. And these days, he looks more miserable with every Ranger loss, which isn't great news given it sure seems like there will be a lot of those in the future.

And yet any talk of him being moved as part of a Rangers rebuild gets quickly shot down. Maybe that's just about timing—the midseason market for goalies is never strong—and the team revisits the idea in the offseason. But Lundqvist has a no-trade clause and says he wants to stick around. Maybe his age and cap hit means the ship has sailed and he's a Ranger for life now. Still, it's weird that a rebuilding team is apparently going to keep its oldest and highest-paid player. And it means that Lundqvist will probably retire in a few years without ever getting his name on the Stanley Cup.

Unless… unless we get creative.

So be it resolved: Henrik Lundqvist gets to be the emergency backup goalie for both teams at all future Stanley Cup finals.

He should probably be there anyway; he's an entertaining guy that the league should want front and center as often as possible. He can sit in the press box with his dogs and his guitar and give fashion tips. Let him wave to the crowd, maybe do some analysis between periods.

And then, if a goalie should happen to get hurt during the series, we send Lundqvist down to suit up for that team. He sits on the bench for the rest of the night as a backup. And this is the important part: that team's coach has to put him in for one shift.

That would count as one game played in the final. And that would be enough to get his name on the Stanley Cup.

We all win here. Tell me you wouldn't be jumping out of your chair if Pekka Rinne was slow to get up after a scramble and the camera panned up to a determined Lundqvist striding down the press box hallway, tearing his Armani suit jacket off as he went. It would be the NHL's version of Willis Reed limping through the tunnel, except instead of a bad thigh he'd be recovering from a bad team.

Sure, Lundqvist probably wouldn't be needed, although we've seen guys like Dwayne Roloson and Ben Bishop get hurt in the final. Chances are, all he'd get out of the deal is a free trip to hang out in Tampa or Vegas or wherever.

But maybe, just maybe, he'd have a shot at his Cup. Lord knows, he'd have better odds than he will in New York.

Make it happen, Rangers. You even have a jersey all ready to go.

Obscure Former Player of the Week

One of the biggest deals of this year's deadline saw the Jets get Paul Stastny from the Blues for two picks and a prospect. Stastny, of course, is the son of Hall-of-Famer Peter Stastny. And his dad knows a thing or two about being moved on deadline day, because it happened to him back in 1990 when the Nordiques sent him to New Jersey in exchange for this week's obscure player: defenseman Craig Wolanin.

Wolanin was the third overall pick in the 1985 draft, and had been in the mix to go first overall. (The Leafs ended up taking some other guy.) He made his NHL debut that season, playing 44 games. He wasn't much of an offensive threat—he topped out at a career-high 31 points in his third season—but was solid in his own end and didn't shy away from the rough stuff. One of his most memorable scraps came in the 1988 playoffs, when he and Lyndon Byers engaged in a marathon bout during the infamous replacement official game.

By the 1989-90 season, Wolanin was 22 and had settled in as a regular member of the Devils' blueline. But with New Jersey looking to break through as contenders, the team shipped him to Quebec for Stastny, a 33-year-old star who'd just wrapped up a decade in which he'd been the league's second-leading scorer behind Wayne Gretzky.

Stastny spent four seasons in New Jersey but wasn't very productive. Meanwhile, Wolanin helped the Nordiques go from league laughingstock to eventual contender, winning a Stanley Cup with the relocated Avalanche in 1996.

He was traded to the Lightning that offseason for a second-round pick, then was flipped to the Maple Leafs for a third midway through the season. He spent parts of two season in Toronto, apparently, although I have zero recollection of this happening, and one more in the IHL before retiring due to a knee injury in 1999. In all, he played 696 NHL games, had 173 points and 894 PIM. Not bad for a guy once dealt for a legend.

Outrage of the Week

The issue: You can now buy salary cap space in the NHL. The outrage: None that I can see. Everyone seems pretty much fine with it for now. Is it justified: Let's wait and see how long that "for now" lasts, because this seems like the sort of thing that's going to feel awfully important in a year or two, and it kind of slid right by us this week.

First, the background. Ever since the league brought in a salary cap in 2005, there's been an ironclad rule against trading cap space. If my team doesn't spend to the cap and yours is almost over it, you can't call me up and say "I'll give you a third-round pick for $1 million in cap space." That seems obvious, and nobody complained—you can't have a hard cap if the rich teams can just work around it by bribing the poorer teams to give them extra space.

Teams could still achieve roughly the same result by trading bad contracts; instead of buying cap space, you could call me up and say "I'll give you a third-round pick if you take this guy and his $1-million contract that I don't want anymore." On some level that was the same thing, or at least achieved the same result. But it was still a tangible trade; one team needed a free roster spot, a player had to pack up and move, etc. Sometimes teams even worked around that last part, which started to feel a little sketchy, but any complaints in that regard were largely muted.

But then came last Friday's Derick Brassard trade, in which the Penguins wanted to acquire a player they couldn't afford. They had the assets to satisfy the Senators, but not the cap space, and Ottawa certainly wasn't in any position to offer financial help. So the two teams looped in the Golden Knights, who ate 40 percent of Brassard's remaining salary cap hit in exchange for Ryan Reaves and a fourth-round pick.

And for the most part, everyone went "oh, that's cool." Putting aside whether the move made much sense for Vegas (it didn't), the Pens and Sens had found a creative solution to a problem. Good for them, right?

Well, sure. And to be clear, everything about the Brassard trade was legal. The NHL eventually approved it, so nobody broke any rules.

But while we've seen teams work their way around the cap in trades for a decade, this feels like a new category. The Penguins basically bribed the Knights to eat salary on a player they'd never had, except briefly on paper. That's not buying cap space outright, but it seems like it's a step closer than what we've seen before.

And it's going to become a trend. That much is clear from the reaction around the league. Elliotte Friedman reported that front office executives from other teams were confused by the trade, and quoted one saying "I can’t believe the NHL let it happen, but I wish I’d thought of it." That's the money quote, in more ways than one, because nothing here is actually new, and to even call it a loophole seems wrong. Anyone in any front office could have "thought of it." Most of them just didn't.

But seeing it play out in a major deadline deal is going to open some eyes. Capped-out teams are going to want to take advantage of the strategy. Lower-spending teams are going to want to get in on reaping the rewards. And once everyone has this trick in their playbook, it changes everything about trading in the NHL.

Is that good or bad? It depends on your perspective. If you're like me and you want to see more trading, you're thrilled. If you're a hard cap purist, not so much. But mark my words, something has changed. This feels like a decade ago when teams were first figuring out how to use back-diving contracts to lower cap hits. When Miikka Kiprusoff signed his, nobody really even noticed the back-dive. But within a few years everyone was doing it, and the league had to eventually step in and try to force the genie back into the bottle.

So mark my words—over the next year, when it's time to trade Erik Karlsson or Oliver Ekman-Larsson or whichever other big-ticket player, the landscape will look different. The days of wondering which team has the cap space to make a deal are gone. Every team has the space now. They just need to find a third team willing to launder the cap hit for the right price.

That seems like a big deal. We're not treating it that way, because there was so much else going on last week. But I'm betting that a few years down the road, when we look back at the 2018 deadline, we talk less about Ryan McDonagh and Evander Kane and whoever else, and more about the way the Brassard deal changed the way trading worked in the NHL. Don't say you weren't warned.

Classic YouTube Clip Breakdown

Since we've already seen Teemu Selanne doing the splits in purple dress socks, you might think his week can't get any better. But you'd be wrong. Happy anniversary, Teemu—today marks 25 years since your most famous moment.

It's March 2, 1993, and this is of course the night that Selanne breaks Mike Bossy's record for most goals in a season by a rookie. That record was 53, and had stood 15 years. Heading into this game, Selanne had been at 51 goals. He scores just seconds into the game and ties Bossy's record late in the second period, so his chances of breaking the record look pretty good as we join the action.

Also, there's still 20 games left in the season after this one. So, uh, not a ton of suspense on this one. Still, the Winnipeg fans want to see him do it at home, and the Jets head out on a four-game road trip after this one, so there's some urgency here as we pick up the action nine minutes into the third period.

Our clip begins with Obscure Player alumni Scott Pearson getting a partial breakaway, only to be turned aside by Bob Essensa. Fun fact: Pearson was taken four spots ahead of Selanne in the 1988 draft. Yes, of course by the Maple Leafs, is this your first day here?

Before you ask: No, I'm not sure why there's dramatic music playing in the background. I'm guessing this clip is ripped from a highlight VHS of some sort, but it's possible that music just followed Selanne around everywhere he went back then. He was good.

The puck goes into the corner, and every hockey fan knows what comes next: A Jets teammate skies a hail mary pass down the ice that Selanne catches up to in the offensive zone. But do you remember which teammate it was? [Remembers you're watching the clip and already heard the announcer say it.] Right, Tie Domi, very good.

The 1992-93 season was an eventful one for Domi. In December, he fought Bob Probert in the most heavily anticipated rematch in NHL history. Four week later, he was traded to Winnipeg, where he spent much of the season playing on Selanne's line and becoming his adorable best friend. Then he set up one of the most memorable regular season goals ever. Not a bad season.

Selanne breaks in after the puck, and whoever's controlling Stephane Fiset presses the wrong buttons on the controller to send him hurtling towards the blueline. Selanne deftly tips the puck past him, and we have a new rookie record-holder.

What happens next is probably more famous that the goal itself. Selanne tosses his glove into the air, then shoots it down. That's future Oilers' coach Dallas Eakins muffing it, by the way. Should have called for the fair catch, that glove is live and can be recovered by the Nordiques.

Where does "52, 53, 54, Bossy's record is no more" rank among the NHL's all-time fan-made signs? I feel like it has to be pretty high. The guy basically called a hattrick in advance. It's no "Rectum in the Spectrum" but it's close.

Somewhere a young Gord Dwyer makes a mental note that throwing a glove during an NHL game seems like it would be really fun.

Next comes something that doesn't happen much anymore, and that I think we need to bring back: Awkward special presentations in the middle of the game. In this case, it's Jets' owner Barry Shenkarow, who has a gold-plated hockey stick for Selanne on behalf of "all Jets fans." Two years later, Shenkarow would present those same Jets fans with a gold-plated knife in the back.

The P.A. guy immediately starts hawking tickets for "Teemu Selanne night," a chance for Jets fans to show their appreciation for Selanne. Or they could, you know, just cheer right now. That's probably also an option.

Selanne finished the season with a ridiculous 76 goals; needless to say, his record hasn't been broken since. Neither has Bossy's mark of 53, although Alexander Ovechkin came close. And while none of us would have believed it at the time, Selanne never hit the 54-goal mark again, topping out at 52 for the Ducks in 1998.

As a side note, this may not even be the most amazing moment that happened in the NHL on this specific day. While Selanne was breaking the record in Winnipeg, Mario Lemieux was making his comeback from cancer in Philadelphia. Imagine one of those two stories not being the lead on your hockey highlights that night. Just one more reason why the 1992-93 season was the greatest ever.

Have a question, suggestion, old YouTube clip, or anything else you'd like to see included in this column? Email Sean at nhlgrabbag@gmail.com .

DGB Grab Bag: Automatic Backup Goalie, Selanne Van Damme, and Cap Laundering published first on https://footballhighlightseurope.tumblr.com/

[amtushinfosolutionspage]

DGB Grab Bag: Flames Threaten Calgary and Everyone Loves Bagging on Kessel

Three Stars of Comedy

The third star: Vernon Fiddler’s impression of Kevin Bieksa – Yes, this clip is years old. But Fiddler announced his retirement this week, so let’s all enjoy it one more time.

The second star: Ilya Kovalchuk – Apparently, making fun of Phil Kessel has gone international.

If recent history is any indication, I look forward to Phil reading this, having a good laugh, waiting a few years and then absolutely ethering Kovalchuk while pretending he doesn’t realize he’s doing it.

The first star: This photo of Matt Duchene – The Avalanche somehow made it through the summer without trading their disgruntled forward, and there was talk he would report to camp. He did, saying he was there for his teammates, but something tells me he might not be thrilled about it.

Things OK, Matt? Blink twice is you want Garth Snow to lower a rope ladder from a helicopter.

Outrage of the Week

The issue: The Calgary Flames have made a dramatic show of pulling out of talks with the city for a new arena. Now the team, with some help from Gary Bettman, is making vague threats about someday moving.

The outrage: Absolutely nobody thinks they’ll actually move. This is just an old-fashioned shakedown.

Is it justified: Sure. We all know the game by now. Some pro sports team cries poor (while refusing to open the books) and demands a massive handout from the public (while refusing to pay it back). It almost always works. In Calgary, for now at least, it hasn’t.

That’s because Calgary’s mayor basically called B.S. on the whole thing, offering the team a reasonable deal but nothing more. Now, the Flames are trying to turn this into an issue for next month’s election in hopes of winding up with a new mayor who’ll gladly shut down a few public services so the Flames can have a rink just like Edmonton’s except maybe with bathrooms. It helps that Seattle just got an arena deal, meaning there’s a semi-credible threat to try to beat Calgary fans over the head with.

It’s a bluff and we all know it, but that’s life in pro sports these days.

Still, there are two points worth making in all of this. First of all, let’s deal with Bettman, who made a surprise appearance in Calgary this week to turn up the heat. He did the usual Bettman routine, making snide comments while disingenuously pretending he was there to help.

It’s frustrating, right? Luckily, regular readers already know how to handle this.

“… and since I’ve been running this league since 1993, I take full responsibility for that.”

See? It works! I’m telling you, we’re on to something here.

More importantly, a word about Calgary fans.

Yes, we all know that Bettman and the Flames are full of it, that public funds for arenas are almost always a bad idea, and that this is all a big act that will end in some sort of deal eventually. It’s easy to watch all of this unfold from the outside with a “been there, done that” weariness.

But it’s different when it’s your team. Even if the odds of all this being forgotten in a few years is 98%, that 2% chance that it could all somehow go horribly wrong and wind up with Johnny Gaudreau leading the Seattle Space Needles onto the ice for the 2019 season opener is a pretty traumatic thought for diehard fans to process.

So if you see some Flames fan freaking out over the next few days and weeks, maybe resist the temptation to tut-tut them about the realities of municipal economics. They don’t need that right now. Instead, just tell them it’s going to be OK, agree that none of this is fun, and give them the same support you’d want if it was your team being threatened with relocation because a billionaire had a tantrum.

Because the way this league works, someday, it probably will be.

Obscure Former Player of the Week

So yeah, since the Flames are moving I guess we should pick a player from Calgary while we still can. How about someone from the last time the franchise moved? This week’s obscure player is winger Ken Houston.

Houston was drafted in the sixth round of the 1973 draft by the Atlanta Flames; future 46-goal man Blair MacDonald went one pick later. Houston made it to Atlanta two years later and played five seasons before the team moved to Calgary, where he played two more. He was a decent two-way winger, scoring 20 goals six times over his career.

He was also involved in two notable trades. The first saw him go from Calgary to Washington in a package deal that saw the Flames acquire the pick they’d use on Perry Berezan, who’d one day score one of the most famous goals in franchise history, kind of. A year later, the Caps traded him (and future broadcaster Brian Engblom) to the Kings for Hall-of-Famer Larry Murphy. Houston retired after the 1983-84 season.

Here are two other notable things about Ken Houston. One, he joins guys like Cam Newton and Chad Johnson on the list of NHL players who shared a name with a more famous football player. And two, he’s almost certainly the only player in the entire history of hockey to ever break the jaw of Dave “The Hammer” Schultz but also get one-punched by Darryl Sittler.

Be It Resolved

This week, ESPN asked 30 NHL players what one rule they would change if they had the power. Be it resolved that we should do this way more often, because the results were fascinating.

You can find the article here, and I strongly encourage you to read the whole thing. Once you’ve done that, head back here, because we need a thorough power ranking of all the responses.

No. 30 – Connor McDavid: He argues for bringing back the red line, and he’s not alone; two other players give the same answer. But McDavid’s reasoning stands out: “Just because teams are now — they just trap. They just sit back. Put the red line back in and everyone has to come back and regroup and build speed and come through the neutral zone.”

He’s basically saying that bringing back the red line would hurt the neutral zone trap, which is… what? That doesn’t make any sense. And he seems to know it, because he basically starts talking himself out of his own answer right away. But still… Connor, dude, really? You think that would help? Were you even alive for the 1995 Devils?

(Does math.)

Oh, dammit. We are all so, so old.

No. 29 – Marc-Andre Fleury: “Less contact with goalies.” Yes, that’s the big problem facing the NHL these days. The goaltenders have it too rough.

No. 28 – Tanner Pearson: He wants to lower escrow payments. I too would like to have more money than what I’ve legally bargained to receive. I also want a pony for Christmas, but that’s not happening either.

No. 27 – Ryan Getzlaf: “I’d penalize guys for diving more,” said the guy who plays on Ryan Kessler and Corey Perry’s team. I guess he wants more opportunities to work on his penalty killing?

Nos. 15 to 26 – Everyone who said something boring: Slightly smaller pads, tweaking the offside rules, more consistent officiating, changing the icing rules … These aren’t bad ideas, necessarily, but come on guys. You have one rule change and you go with something the league already tries from time to time? Boo.

No. 14 – Shayne Gostisbehere: Shayne wants to make teams have the long line change twice a game instead of once. Not the most exciting answer, but not a bad idea.

No. 13 – Martin Jones: No more leaving your feet to block a shot. See, Marc-Andre, not all goalies are afraid to do their jobs.

Nos. 6 to 12 – The seven(!) different players who all mention playing in the Olympics: I’m with you, boys. Maybe talk to your union about putting it in the CBA it next time.

No. 5 – Jeff Skinner: Just for this quote, which I will leave out of context: “When I hit their knobs and I think it’s going in, and it’s not a good feeling.”

No. 4 – Jack Eichel: “No offside. Just hang down at the other end and wait for the puck to come there.” Hell yes! I don’t even necessarily agree with him, but I love that answer. This kid is only 20 years old and he’s already going full “NHL 94 options screen” on us. By the time he’s 25 and has a couple of Hart Trophies he’s going to be turning off line changes and switching the goalies to manual control without telling anyone.

No. 3 – Max Domi: He wants to make the nets bigger. Actually, he wants to make them “just huge” and seems to be mostly kidding, but he’s the only one who names the one simple rule change that could most improve the game overnight, so he ranks near the top.

No. 2 – Johnny Gaudreau: Death to shootouts. Well, he says “make the three-on-three in overtime go until someone scores,” which is basically the same thing. See folks, that’s why his nickname is Johnny Hockey and not Johnny Glorified Skills Competition.

No. 1 – Taylor Hall: End the loser point. God bless you, Taylor. And not only that, he even backs it up with some math. “You look at the standings and you’re like, ‘Oh, so-and-so is .500.’ But they’re really not. They’re 13-13-6, but they’re really 13-19.”

I mean, look, loser point fans…do you realize how indefensible your side of the argument has to be when Taylor Hall is breaking out mathematics to dunk on you? This is the guy who fails open book boating tests and gets confused by pilot lights, and even he can look at the NHL standings and say “Yeah, that doesn’t add up at all.”

Every team Taylor Hall plays on automatically misses the playoffs by 30 points and then wins the draft lottery. If there was anybody on this planet who should want losing teams to get a pity point, it’s him. But he knows the loser point is garbage and he’s not afraid to say so, and that’s why he should be your new favorite player.

Classic YouTube Clip Breakdown

Last week, the NHL named former enforcer George Parros to head up the Department of Player Safety. He’s a smart guy who went his entire career without a fine or suspension despite being one of the toughest guys in the game, so you figure he’d make for a great hire. But not everyone was on board.

Of course, that’s no surprise when it comes to DoPS, since everyone complains constantly about everything the department does. And that’s not a new thing. So today, let’s go back nearly 30 years as we ask a star player for this thoughts on the world of player discipline and suspensions.

It’s December 4, 1988, and the Oilers are in town to play the Rangers. It’s the first intermission, and the Oilers are up 4-2. Spoiler alert: They’re going to end up winning by a 10-6 final. The 1980s NHL, man. It was something.

Our host is John Davidson, reclaiming his title as “guy who shows up a little too often in this section” from Alan Thicke. He’s interviewing the Oilers’ new captain, Mark Messier.

I’ll pause here so you can all adjust to remembering Messier with hair.

Davidson does a good job of setting the scene. The Oilers are making their first trip to New York since trading Wayne Gretzky, and Messier has inherited the unenviable task of following in the footsteps of a legend as the team’s new captain. Davidson then asks the question on all our minds: “Mark, what’s that thing on your lip?”

Wait, no, he goes with whether his role has changed. I guess that works too.

As Messier is talking about the importance of leadership, the graphics guy throws up a quick stat about how well he does in games involving the Rangers. This moment has been brought to you by the Department Of Ironic Foreshadowing.

In a stunning upset, Messier doesn’t just mumble something about keeping it simple and playing his game, instead acknowledging that something has indeed changed. They don’t call him the greatest leader in sports for nothing. (“They” being New York fans with Adam Graves neck tattoos.)

“Lee Fogolin, everybody knows what kind of dedication he gave to the game.” Fact check: Mostly false.

Davidson asks whether the Oilers are over the shock of the Gretzky trade, and Messier explains that “fortunately it happened early enough in the summer that the guys were able to get over the initial shock.” He then starts to laugh and adds “I mean, it’s not like he held out and forced the trade two days into the regular season like some kind of jerk.”

Davidson actually does get to a question about Messier’s lip, and to our great relief it turns out to be stitches from Tim Hunter. Davidson asks what he thinks of all the suspensions being handed out these days, and Messier reacts by making the same face my daughter makes when I ask if she’s done her homework.

Look, let’s just get this out there: Messier could be a dirty player. He’d swing his stick, he’d throw elbows, he’d hit from behind. Or, as we all called it back then, “hockey.”

Davidson goes back to Messier’s most recent suspension for knocking Rich Sutter’s teeth out. (You can see that play about a minute into this clip.) As Davidson explains, back then every suspension went through one guy who was responsible for everything. Man, they should really have more than one person doing player safety. Like, maybe an entire department. I’m sure nobody would complain then.

Messier mentions a 12-game suspension from earlier that season. That would be New York’s David Shaw, who barely did anything other than slash Mario Lemieux in the throat. Good ol’ Mess, already preemptively defending the Rangers.

I think my favorite part of this whole interview comes right at the end, when Davidson wraps up and Messier literally manages to say the complete sentence “Thank you very much” in one syllable. That’s a guy who’s done a lot of interviews.

And that’s it. We’re left to dwell on Messier’s basic point: suspensions are already severe enough, the players are getting the message, and we should be fine to make it through the rest of the 1988-89 season without anyone doing anything completely insane.

Have a question, suggestion, old YouTube clip, or anything else you’d like to see included in this column? Email Sean at nhlgrabbag@gmail.com .

DGB Grab Bag: Flames Threaten Calgary and Everyone Loves Bagging on Kessel syndicated from http://ift.tt/2ug2Ns6

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Marc Bergevin, George Parros and NHL's dumb ideas (Puck Daddy Countdown)

Montreal Canadiens GM Marc Bergevin.

(In which Ryan Lambert takes a look at some of the biggest issues and stories in the NHL, and counts them down.)

7 – Asking John Tavares about his contract status

Everyone’s gonna ask him if this is a big deal to him in a training-camp scrum, and I don’t know what they hope to accomplish. You, the reporter here in this very real scenario coming soon to a practice rink near you, are not gonna get him to go, “Ah y’know what I’m actually leaving this year and I hope they trade me ASAP.”

Let the man live!

6 – Never drafting 18-year-olds again

The good thing about the NHL’s brewing designs on raising the draft age to 19 is that everyone, regardless of where they stand on the issue, seems to see it for exactly what it is: A naked attempt by teams to make sure their GMs whiff on slightly fewer draft picks.

An extra year of observation against a theoretically higher level of competition gives more data to make more informed decisions about who should be drafted, say, 12th overall. It’s hard to get top-10 picks wrong, or harder than it is outside the top 10. That leads to a lot of teams torching mid-round draft picks while other teams get good players, and everyone writes, “They took So-And-So but passed on This Guy? Unbelievable!” Very embarrassing, so it makes sense that teams would want to limit that embarrassment as much as humanly possible.

The NBA and NFL have already done this to a certain extent, giving the NCAA cartels at least a little more grist for the amateurism mill, and while it certainly hasn’t hurt the popularity of either of those leagues — which, I’m sure, is all the NHL cares about — it erodes the rights of the workers involved in those sports.

Yeah, most guys aren’t in the NHL at 18 anyway, but why should Rasmus Dahlin, or whomever, have to wait an extra year to make money because Don Sweeney can’t tell the difference between players worthy of a mid-round pick and those very much not? And hell, why should fans be denied that extra year of Connor McDavid?

I don’t feel like I’m arguing for exceptional-player status here, either. Every 18-year-old should be given a full opportunity to make a team out of nowhere, like Patrice Bergeron did. And yeah, OK, that’s an example from 2003, but you see the point.

Again, everyone understands this is cynical garbage from the league built on it.

5 – Marc Bergevin, brain genius

This whole saga with Alex Galchenyuk is the Subban stuff all over again. Everyone seems to have a collective position with this guy — in this case, literally — and the Habs’ take is, “Actually we know better.”

At some point, Marc Bergevin has to entertain the idea that he actually doesn’t know better. That definitely proved out with the whole Subban trade, and it’s more than likely to be proven true here as well. The Habs don’t have a wings problem, they have a center depth problem, and while Bergevin has a potential solution, he’s made up his mind. “I’ve seen enough to know it won’t work,” seems to be the prevailing attitude.

But what percentage of his career has Galchenyuk actually played the pivot? He’s taken about 1,700 faceoffs in 336 games, but really got most of them (nearly 1,400) the last two years. That’s really not a lot. Mike Fisher has won more than that.

At least try it, right? Or hell, just trade the guy. Both solutions would work, to varying degrees for the parties involved.

4 – Declaring your principles

Like honestly this is the dumbest stuff I’ve seen the league do in a while, and this is the NHL we’re talking about.

The NHL and the people around it love to talk about how hockey is morally superior to all the other sports. (Which I’m sure has little to do with the overall whiteness of this sport versus others.) Now it has it in writing. Meanwhile, they’re sending out Snapchats or whatever of Patrick Kane as a cute little puppy. “Ha ha ha, the objectively bad person is so fun!” And that happened the same day as the Declaration Of Principles.

Truly a special league!

3 – Damon Severson, I guess?

Well this seems like it’s a perfectly OK deal. He does a lot of stuff very well but he’s somewhat gently used. This price point used to be the range for lots of good young defenders coming out of their ELCs: sixish years, $4-5 millionish AAV. TJ Brodie, Chris Tanev, John Klingberg, Adam Larsson all got deals like that.

I would’ve thought that price point would go up a bit given the way the cap has moved the last few years, but it’s lucky for the Devils it really hasn’t. This kid can play a bit and now is his chance to really prove it with a bigger role, especially on a team that, well, is gonna be quite bad.

2 – Let the criminals be the law men

Ahh, well, George Parros. Sure.

The good news is he can’t be worse when it comes to protecting players than Stephane Quintal, whose administration was the worst since the start of the focus on headshots. But then again, Parros’s stated area of focus is going to be … slashing? This is entirely because of the Methot slash, right? Stick play does damage in this league no doubt, but there are more pressing problems, like the league giving Colton Sissons zip for crosschecking Olli Maatta in the face during the Cup Final.

Here’s the thing, though: You can focus on both of them.

All anyone should want out of the Department of Player Safety is a consistent record of protecting people across the board. No one problem is necessarily bigger than the other but the results of some of those problems certainly can be.

But the first headshot that goes without punishment is gonna happen on, like, Day 2 of the new season. And they’ll throw the book at someone for a fairly-common-but-still-pretty-bad high stick. You can believe that.

1 – Cherry Coke Zero

If the pope can name one NHL player, I will let him get away with this support letter. Get him on the phone!

(Not ranked this week: Not signing Jagr.

If the first of these forwards who turns a PTO into a regular NHL deal signs before Jagr, I’m gonna lose it.)

Ryan Lambert is a Puck Daddy columnist. His email is here and his Twitter is here.

(All statistics via Corsica unless otherwise noted.)