#and he gives all the bigger rabbits these deep gruff voices

[cyberphuck]

Holly had finally finished speaking, and the other rabbits stared at one another in shocked and horrified silence. "I can't imagine," Hazel began to say. "You can't," Blueberry said gruffly. "I can," said the little mouse. "Like the Station Nightclub Fire." Bigwig peered at him. "The wot?" "Station Nightclub Fire," the mouse said again. "A lot of Men were in a nightclub, and then a fire broke out and they all tried to get away at once, but there weren't enough exits, see, so they all sort of clogged up in the entryway and they was screamin' and screamin' to get out but there weren't no shiftin' em, and they died." "Well. Good riddance," Bigwig said after a pause. "Erm," Hazel said, "what's a nayit-kloob?" The mouse shrugged. "Search me, I got the story off me cousin." Strawberry raised one of his front paws, slowly and a little awkwardly; Hazel recognized it as one of the strange little dances he did, this being the one asking permission to speak. "I know what a nightclub is," said Strawberry. "Of course you fucking do," snarled Bigwig.

[hellofaer]

sugar daddy! mario x cat boy! @shinsouplays

(not proofread)

mario used to have a happy life. keywords used to. he missed his best friend for life, luigi, who literally got scared to death. mario had told him he was concerned about his obsession with the haunted mansion but luigi just didn’t listen. his companion yoshi mysteriously disappeared after a big argument with his girlfriend at the time birdo. toad and toadette were tired of being in the kingdom all the time which resulted in them running away together. Mario missed all of them, but who did he miss the most? his wife- well, ex wife peach. he thought everything they had was genuine. until he found out that she was sleeping another man- that man was bowser. apparently peach was too scared to reject mario and was seeing a man in a lizard costume behind his back. she had used the “kidnappings” as an excuse. and he believed it. once he found out about her backstabbing he banished her from the kingdom, never to be seen again. he didn’t want to do it, because deep down in his heart the fire still burned aflame for her. but he knew he had to let her go, so he did. mario spent his time dwelling in the kingdom, a lot of the time being seen either crying or eating a lot of comfort meals. but because toad and toadette ran away, no one was there to check up on him. except for his old friend waluagi. it had been years since waluagi had seen his old pal and wanted to check up on him.

little did he know, that call would change his friends life.

brrrring! brrring! brrring!

mario ignored the ringing, his face smooshed down into his dirty pillow. he had cried the night before again, and felt absolutely no energy to pick it up. until it rang once more.

brrrring! brrring! brrring! brrr-

mario fiercely grabbed his phone and answered it without looking at the caller id.

“what the hell do you want?” mario asked in an annoyed tone. no one ever called him, why now?

it was silent for a moment and mario was about to hang up before he heard a gruff voice from the phone. “ah, hello? hello? is this, er, mario?” the gruff voice asked. wait a minute. mario recognized that voice. “WALUAGI?” he asked in surprised, sitting straight up so the blankets uncovered his hairy chest. again, no one had ever called him. he thought waluigi retired and lived at a nursing home.

a loud laugh erupted from the phone, causing mario to slightly pull the phone away from his big ass ear. “yeah! mario, how’s it goin? haven’t seen you, since.. er, the uh, peach days.” waluigi said, the enthusiasm in his voice going down at the end. even though mario was still sensitive about that topic, he was focused on his old pal calling him after years of no contact. he cleared his throat awkwardly. “er, yeah, i think so.” he said with a fake chuckle. “Why don’t i stop by the kingdom so we could chat huh? bring some of your favorite pasta, how about that?” waluigi suggested. he wanted to see how mario turned out honestly. people always spread rumors about how mario let himself go and became a downer but waluigi wanted to see that for himself. mario wasn’t expecting the offer though. mario usually wasn’t a self conscious person- again, until the whole peach situation- and he admits he got bigger and his mustache has gotten a bit wild. mario didn’t want his friend to see him like that, he wanted his friend to think, “wow, mario hasn’t changed since i’ve seen him!”

“Er, how about next week? I’ve got, uh, a lot of.. cleaning up to do! rabbits trashed the place.” mario said with a sigh, rolling his eyes. he feigned annoyance as if waluigi could see him. waluigi sensed that mario was lying, but shook the feeling off. “Heh, good luck with that bud. See you next saturday?” “next saturday, mhm.” mario confirmed, swinging his legs over the bed to slide his feet into his house slippers. “Got it. See you saturday, mario.” waluigi said gruffly, hanging up before mario even got a chance to respond. hearing a small beep, he threw his phone beside him and sighed. “It’s gonna be a long week.”

and he was right.

he worked out and got back into shape (listen ik that’s not realistic but it’s fucking fiction about mario and cat boy kouda alright) and even cleaned up a little bit. his mustache was trimmed and shiny again, and plus he fight into his old overalls and red long sleeves. he had a bit of brightness and life in his big blue eyes again, feeling new and improved. he had even made a little meal for him and waluigi. pancakes, bacon that was a little burnt, and some scrambled eggs with fresh orange juice. mario tried as much as he could to cook, as he was used to toad making his food. mario was just finishing setting the last glass of orange juice down when he heard a knock at the door. “coming!” mario said, hurrying to the kingdom door. he open it, revealing a hunched over old man in purple long sleeves and some overalls. even though his mustache pointed down instead of being high and pointy, you could still tell it was him.

“Waluigi!” he gave the fellow old man a hug. Mario would never admit it, but having arms around him felt nice and warm. “Long time no see, huh?” waluigi joked. they both chuckled, until mario pat waluigi on the back. “come on in, come on in, i made food!”

- time skip 🤩 -

“a what baby?” mario asked waluigi, confused. “a sugar baby. I think it’ll be, er, beneficial to you.” waluigi grumbled. Mario sighed, facing the computer in front of him. He was on http://SugarHoney.com, a website for sugar babies and sugar mommies/daddies to find each other. “How will giving someone my money benefit me?” waluigi laughed. “you won’t be the only one giving. they’ll give you love and support in return.” mario didn’t seem convinced, waluigi could tell by the “what the hell” look on his face. waluigi sighed. “Just look at the profiles, lots of cute boys and girls there yeah?” he suggested, leaning back into the chair. Mario sighed. “Alright.”

and mario scrolled and scrolled and scrolled. “There’s no one interesting enough here.” mario complained.

“Give it here!” waluigi said in annoyance, tugging the computer away from him. “That’s because you’re not looking at the premium people.” waluigi grumbled after looking at the profiles. “here.” waluigi clicked on the premium tab. the premium tab was exclusively for the, how should i say it, *interesting* people on the website. mario sighed, grabbing the computer to search profiles once again. a few minutes passed, and mario still hadn’t found anyone that interested him. his eyes were still glued to the screen though. “waluigi, i don’t think that anybody- mama mia!” if the 😍emoji was real, that would be mario’s face.

arkouda chisaki.

major.

loves pasta.

cat boy.

he had just found the perfect one for him.

——

arkouda was sitting in the drivers seat of his car with his friends, waiting to be next in line at wendy’s. “soo why did you decide to be a sugar baby again?”

sisi asked. “do you see how much money they make sisi?” even though the question was rhetorical, sisi shook her head. kouda rolled with it anyway. “a lot. a whole lot.” he answered, tapping his fingers against the steering wheel. “I wanna be a sugar baby.” jailani announced randomly, obviously intrigued. Kouda sighed. “Lani, you’re a minor. You can’t do that.” “No no no, but what if i just support them from a distance with encouraging words and they give me money!” “I would much rather get frog stuffed animals than money.” Khloe added, holding her own giant stuffed frog. Kouda only laughed. He pulled up to the drive thru of wendy’s, putting his car in park. “Alright, what do y’all want?” Kouda asked everyone, scratching his cat boy ears (🤩). “A strawberry lemonade!!”sisi answered with a warm smile on her face. “Just a sprite please!” khloe said, poking her head in the middle of sisi and kouda. “Baconator!“ lani responded.

After he ordered everyone’s food along with his chicken sandwich and a cherry mello yello, he drove by a little spot in the woods he knew of. kouda got out of the car, holding the bags of food while sisi and khloe held their drink and lani held a pink and white picnic blanket. They all headed towards their usual hang out spot in a comfortable silence, nearing closer and closer the clearing. lani set down the blanket, mumbling about how if she feels a bug on her she’ll sob. sisi and khloe laughed, setting their drinks down where they were going to sit. “Bugs aren’t that bad lani!” sisi said, sitting down behind her drink. “Yeah dude, they’re adorable.” kouda said, setting the bags down in the middle. Lani rolled her eyes, ignoring the twos words.

soon everyone was happily enjoying their meal/drinks, talking about trauma, character anons, memes and shit about each other. yknow, the normal stuff. until someone’s phone goes off.

Sisi looks at everyone like 👀 because she put her phone on silent. khloe took out her phone and checked her notifications, but quickly put it back away. “nope!” lani shook her head without even caring to look. “my ringtone isn’t boring like that.” she huffed. kouda rolled his eyes and pulled out his phone. he got one notification.

http://SugarHoney.com: You’ve got (1) daddy request! From: papamari0

[ziocho]

Vlogger AU

#Seduce Me September: Prompt 4, Hobbies

James

Semi-educational and aesthetic channel on gardening and flower!

He also covers romantic history, but not intentionally! Like he’d show off his daffodil planter and he’ll talk about where Narcissus comes from, then the proverbial Pandora’s box is opened.

Half of his videos is holding the camera at flowers and James’s ramblings on history, mythology, and slight bit of politics; stop him

Occasionally he does videos of his cooking, but not just food. He makes cuisine.

His cooking videos are almost as if it’s an informational “Life as a human in Chicago” kind of mood?? It’s hilarious for humans cause it’s so extra, but for the stealthy demons with internet connection out there, it’s inspirational! 

And you'd listen cause damn, okay this guy's voice is illegal.

How can someone sound so hot while talking about Victorian meanings and bouquets??

Erik

Vlogs about his music compositions and outfit ideas

He’s infamous for his weekly live streams where he intends to talk about his drafts but it ends up being fanservice night, every night.

“Welcome, my princes and princesses~ As a thank you for taking time out of your day to visit, here’s a kiss for each one of you.” (blows kiss to camera)

There’s obviously papers in his hand when he opens up his videos, but he’s a sucker for pleasing the crowd. Live piano playing? Design a dress for a birthday girl? Give relationship advice? He’ll do it all for his lovely followers!

He lowkey feels guilty that he doesn’t show off his content on live broadcasts as he plans to, so he releases videos much later like “Autumn 2017 Revamped Trends” or “Incubus-Inspired Street Casual”

Sam

Doesn’t do live broadcasts unless it’s really early in the morning and he wants company on his walks, but he’d never say it outright.

Angry meditation videos

It starts off gruff and filled with curses with calming music in the background, but you settle into digging deep in yourself and casting aside all the BULLSHIT that your brothers put you through. 

Or something silly like "Man vs Tree"

"Man vs Local Brat", "Man vs Broken Table" 

You'd watch for laughs cause omg this guy is ridiculous

Matthew

Mukbang videos; imagine Matthew on live stream, eating food 

Around dinner time, so you can watch while he's eating and talking to stream chat

It's very soothing imo

Matthew eats regular meals that he's made himself 👀

Inviting his brothers to join him with hot pot, fresh spring rolls, the bigger stuff!

"Hi! Hi! It's Matthew!... Hi! Welcome to another episode of Eat Adventures with Matthew!"

"Today, I'm going to eat grilled beef and rice, with stir-fry vegetables. Is everyone ready for dinner?"

Damien

Readings of short poems, fluffy stories, nice things

Talks about ideas for books

Videos of his trip out in the city, a cat cafe, ice cream shops, you name it

Sometimes by himself, sometimes with Matthew

He also tries different coffees and teas while he’s out

Occasionally he’ll post samples of his singing, at Erik’s request

Erik: “Dear brother, consider sharing your singing voice with your fans”

Damien: “...?”

Diana

Travel vlogginggg

Beautiful cinematography, landscapes, cityscapes

“Hello, my dear followers~ I’m out in Norway tonight for a beautiful sight. Tonight, we’ll share a glass of wine under the aurora borealis. Drink in the sights, my dears~”

Often her videos would have accompanying guests from wherever she’s visiting; her friends introduce themselves as cute nicknames like “Rabbit” or “Shadow”

She’s so considerate and understanding?? She lets other people talk in her videos and you feel so much respect going both ways between her and her friends. You want to be there with her when she travels! YOU WANNA BE HER FRIEND/WITH BENEFITS/LOVER