#and he doesnt even know it enough to mourn it

[randaccidents]

Lost Memory-Dream #00

One of many half-remembered dreams of memories that Heart has. This one might be his oldest memory ever.

(Hi! First Tangled Wisteria fic :3. Doing a small set of random memories half remembered in dreams. And a little hint to how Heart might see the world now, freshly amnesiatic.)

(ALSO this fic is unfortunately not reader tool friendly, because I'm trying to give the feeling of words being roughly scratched out of memory. I AM going to include a translated transcript in a reblog though, so look out for that if you're wondering what they are saying!)

(also I went crazy in my tags whoops)

-------------------------------------

He is standing in a space of white and grey and black. Standing in the white and in the grey are two cut-out figures, the same color as the space they stood in, yet clearly separate from the background. He himself stood in the black.

["W██ ███ █ou ███?"] He furrowed his eyebrows. The voice is blotted out and fuzzed, he couldn't clearly make out what it was saying. He tried to open his mouth, but found that he couldn't. Hm. Something told him that it was simply not his turn to speak yet.

{"███ am I? I ███ld ███ y██ ███ █ame."} This voice was the same, static-filled and words missing his ears entirely. He knew it was not meant to be that way, but he didn't know what should fill the gap. He felt the figures turn towards him, and his mouth opened on instinct.

("Don't look at me? I don't know who either of you are!") He is confused. He could tell he is dreaming, but where is this? What is this? At least this dream-him has the same thoughts that he does.

{"I ██ow ███ I ██. I'm ██e ████."} The cut out of grey had moved, a hand on its presumed chin. He tilted his head, examining the cut-out and finding nothing he could use to identify it. Who was that?

["██gi███ly, ██ ██ ████ to ██████ es█████sh██ na████ con███ti██, ██ ██████ ████ ro███ ███ na███."] There's a deepness to the few letters that ungarble themselves from the white cut-outs words. It almost sounds.... familiar?

Familiar. Nothing about this dream has felt familiar, yet he knows it is a memory. Why is his memory made of static and cut-out figures? He can't find it in himself to worry too much about it, the roots of panic strangled at the source. There is a sweet scent in the air.

His mouth moves again. ("Roles as names you say? Well wouldn't that make you the ████, since you're so logical?") It was disconcerting, hearing his own voice briefly turn to static. There was something important there. What was it?

Words were being spoken at him. The sweet scent from earlier was building. He strained to listen. ["██ ██at ██? ████ you ████ ██ █he-"]

-

-

-

He shot up in bed, mouth forming around a name quickly lost to pruned branches and faded flowers. Furrowing eyebrows under the blindfold that had been given to him, he tests out the shape of his mouth.

The letter H. He tests the letter on his tongue, finding it familiar. Still mouthing the letter, he brings hands up to brush through tangled wisteria vines and feathers alike, calming himself on the sweet scent of the flowers.

That was a memory of his name. He is certain of it. But what name starts with the letter H? And what he said in the dream, roles as names. None of it made sense to him. The bright cut-outs in his memory gave no hints either, pruned and cut out and distorted out of meaning.

What was his name? He squinted eyes he had learnt were sensitive to light down at his hands. Purple had named himself. And now a forgotten memory told him he was named by someone he could not remember.

["Purple? Are you awake? It's late morning already."] Jumping at the deep voice, Purple looked up, tossing a grin at the shadow in his doorway.

("I'm alright Blue, just thinking. Remembering? Dreaming. I'll be out in a second!") He stretches, standing up and missing Blue's reaction to his words. ("I had the weirdest dream last night.")

["Is that so. Care to share?"] Blue has a weird way of being curious. Purple is still getting used to it. He shrugs it off anyways, both Red and Blue were still just strangers with some familiar habits anyways. It's probably normal to be awkward.

("I dreamt that...") The words trail off into burnt ashes that fall from his mouth. His face scrunches up as he tries to remember the memory. Only one thing stands out to him, caught between his teeth. ("...I forgot. All I remember is the letter H.")

A cold, metallic hand gently rests itself on his shoulder, urging him forwards. ["Maybe it will return to you later. Come, breakfast is waiting."]

Perking up at the thought of breakfast, Purple nodded his head, following Blue's lead, the scent of wisterias trailing behind him as he forgot his dream in favor of breakfast. The letter H remains, lodged in the breath between his tongue and palate.

[natjennie]

I love that no matter how many fucking times alison gestures to exactly where the ghosts are mike will still look up in the air for them. the fact that he makes an attempt to interact directly with them instead of just always looking to alison is so charming. but also adhd king.

[inbetweenhours]

shitty post finale milo and Scott doodle from last night when I really should not have been awake lol.  Milo is a sappy and he needs to get as many of those new pet names rolling as possible. Mans got raised from the dead and immediately decided this was the first order of business and I love that for him.

[fizzyorange-v2]

just talking to my friend in dms about how at first when q!charlie started calming down from his rampage i was kinda upset cause i WANTED a full villain arc i wanted blood and rage and a massacre but then I kept watching and realised how much of a fucking idiot I was to underestimate charlie slimecicle’s rp skills like that. because charlie isn’t just playing a character hell bent on righteous revenge for his daughter, he’s playing a character actually grieving that daughter.

it’s obvious now that i think about it that the initial revenge plot to kill all the eggs and his repeated self affirmations that juanaflippa isn’t gone and that it can all just be reset are clearly just him entering the denial and anger stages. and that later scenes after the rest of the server finally backed him into a corner and calmed him down and he had that heart wrenching scene looking at juanaflippa’s photo, asking for a literal trial for her life and soul back and then that whooooole bar scene, that he has then entered the bargaining and depression stages.

Because the truth is, q!charlie doesn’t actually want to kill anyone (except Mariana lolll), he especially doesn’t want to kill any of the eggs! All he wanted was to be a good dad. And I think that that’s part of the reason he as a character failed so hard to actually tangibly hurt anyone during this stream. He was a mess, crying screaming yelling clawing trying to do something, anything to save his daughter. Anything to fix it all. That scene of him failing to break into Phil’s house haunts me.

But I think there’s something especially tragic that before Juanaflippa, q!charlie probably was the kind of character to hurt others without caring, he seemed to have no idea about empathy or healthy relationships before her thats for sure. He’s literally already killed TWO eggs before this, so causally and with such ease. But his love for his daughter improved him, and it changed him, and it made him just enough of a better person that when that daughter was taken from him, suddenly even to save her he can’t fucking do it anymore.

I also really appreciate how everyone else on the server reacted to him too. They didn’t at all treat him like some big bad scary villain like I originally would I’ve expected. Sure they were understandably wary and protective, but every single one of them weren’t so much angry at him as… WORRIED for him. And it really helped put it in perspective that this isn’t some guy going on a hashtag villain arc, but immersed me in oh fuck. This is a guy that just lost his daughter. And all his friends and fellow parents know. And they aren’t scared of him, they’re concerned for him. They aren’t full of fear… but pity. Because they know. They know what he’s just lost. And they understand. And they’re trying to be there for him.

And Charlie despite all the grand speeches and diabolical plots and not so carefully placed land mines… doesn’t really care how he gets Juanaflippa back, as long as she’s with him again.

Just man,,,, the way Charlie performed this character’s grief is so fucking stellar and SO fucking excruciating. The part that genuinely broke me was in that photo scene when he said: “i'm sorry flippa... i thought i could change something- i thought i could undo it, thought i could make it right... now i see that there's no way this can be made right...” which already fucking ow ow OW and clearly him finally exiting denial/anger straight into depression but then he whispers THIS FUCKING BIT: “it wasnt even on purpose… i know that... it doesnt make it better… what do i do juanaflippa?” LIKE FUCK!!!! FUCK!!!! OKAY!!!!!

Anyway massive props to everyone for the rp today but ESPECIALLY charlie for this agonisingly accurate and visceral depiction of grief that I somehow was NOT expecting. I thought we were going to get villain arc egg massacre angst and instead we got father mourning his daughter trying futilely to do anything to bring her back angst. I’m never fucking recovering from this one.

[axelsagewrites]

Hey, how are you? Do you accept request for Otto Hightower?

I wanted something for "marrying Otto Hightower and being the younger sister of the late Queen Aemma Targaryen." Aemma's sister came to court her lost, however, things go wrong and Aemma ends up passing away and her baby also dies hours later. Otto Hightower, widower, hand of the King, with no heir (here, Otto and his first wife had no children, so Alicent was not born yet) and with the stain of his wife's terrible reputation hanging over him, Otto needs a second wife. What happens when he finds himself attracted to the late queen's sister?

Come on, it's supposed to be something light, where Otto doesn't have all that sick ambition to see his blood burning on the throne and having true friendship and loyalty towards Viserys and, of course, having sincere devotion and love for his dear wife. I hope this request reaches you well ❤️ (If I made you uncomfortable, let me know, i'm sorry)

Otto Hightower*My Honour

Pairing: otto x targ!f!reader

Word count: 1628

Warnings: mentions Aemma and her sons death, grief, praying to cope, angst

A/n: alicent doesnt exist in this one

Often times you wondered if staying in kings landing was worth it. it was here you lost your sister and nephew not to mention all the previous children she had to mourn and never hold. You had come a week prior to her labour and eventual death to help but after you felt useless. Perhaps if Rhanerya had not begged you to stay you would have left these haunted halls. After all she was only eight when her mother died.

It was hard to even walk through the halls most days. Every stone, every path, every flower a reminder of her. the sting only grew deeper when Baelon died. A son, an heir, all for what?

You could see the grief etched into Viserys’ face but that did little to comfort you. It was hard to even look at the man you previously considered like a brother. most days the only one you spoke to was Rhanerya.

If people said hello in the halls, you bowed your head and smiled and walked on. When they approached with sympathies during dinners you did the same. Very few words escaped your lips especially since each greeting was met with a sorry look from the lords and ladies who didn’t even truly know your sister enough to mourn her. You weren’t the only one to have suffered a loss recently, however.

On your near daily trips to the sept to pray for your sister, nephew, and niece, you would see Otto Hightower deep in thought. He’d come to Kings Landing with his wife a few years ago to serve Viserys however she had died only weeks earlier.

You’d met her only once and while she was kind enough, she was not the typical wife of a lord.  She tended to walk a fine line of what was acceptable at court and if the rumours and what daemon himself had told you see it was rare that her husband was the one to share her bed.

The marriage had been arranged, like they all are. You understood his position. You had tried to love your first husband though you did not cry when he fell out the moon door during a joust. Still, you mourned like Otto did. Now even more so.

This morning was like all others. You ate with Rhanerya, helped ready her for her lessons, then walked to the sept. however, as you walked something different happened. “Good morning my lady,” Otto greeted as he caught up behind you.

You jumped a little having not heard his soft footsteps. “My lord, sorry I did not see you,”

“It is quite alright. The fault is mine,” he gave a tight-lipped smile you’d seen a few times from him. “Good day my lady,”

Otto went to increase his pace, assuming your silence was a want for absence, but you found yourself no longer able to be quiet, “My lord,” you called. Otto paused, turning to listen, “Would you care to walk to the sept with me this morning?”

A small smile quirked on his lips, “It would be a joy my lady,”

Each morning from then he would join you on your way to and from the sept. at first no words were spoken. Then only a few. Never about death though. It was refreshing as selfish as it sounded. A time when you didn’t have to think of those you lost. Soon it was hard to end the conversation.

“You must ride on the back of her one time. You’ll get to see all the fun,” you laughed after recounting a story of your dragon’s adventures.

Otto laughed but you could see a little green in his skin, “No I think my feet shall remain firmly on the ground, but your offer is very kind my lady,”

As you arrived the sept a small smile found its way on your lips, “You don’t have to call me that. I have a name you know?”

“Really?” he teased, “I must’ve forgotten it,” you rolled your eyes, feigning shock and ignorance as you told him your name like it was a scandal, “What a beautiful name. much better than a name like Otto,”

“You’re so right. Only a cruel person would name their son Otto,” you teased before quickly hiding your smiles when the septas walked out.

As you were both leaving the sept Otto was inspired by your previous affection to return the same, “It may not be as exciting as a dragon but perhaps you would like to join me one night for dinner?”

You stayed silent for a moment as you walked and Otto could feel the sweat gathering on his forehead, “Would this be one of your dinners with the king and other lords or a private affair?”

“Which ever you preferred,” he said, swallowing hard.

A small smile on your lips put him at ease, “I’m free tonight,”

Soon you were laughing in the halls again. Stopping to talk to people again. Having conversations again. Viserys took joy in this, glad to finally see you back to your previous state. Though he could not help being sceptical of Otto.

He trusted him with his life, but he did not know if he could trust him with yours, “Have you seen much of my wife’s sister of late?” he asked one night after all the other lords had left the high council meeting.

Otto swallowed the lump in his throat, “No more than usual. Why my king?”

“No reason. Her condition seems much improved as of late,” he mused, watching his friend’s reaction carefully.

“Grief is a wild beast,” Otto said, revealing as little as he could.

Viserys however needed to know more, “My wife made me swear when we married. ‘if we become family then mine becomes yours and yours becomes mine’. Ever since I’ve seen her as a sister figure of sorts.”

“You’re very kind to her your grace,” Otto shifted in his chair.

Viserys sat back in his, “I’ve had a few lords ask me about her hand since her fathers and husbands passing you know?” Otto went stiff, “all arrogant, obnoxious lords, Aemma didn’t even like when she was alive,”

“She was always a good judge of character,”

“I like to think I am as well,” Otto went to speak but Viserys didn’t stop talking, “I imagine the offers will stop when the rumours spread further,”

“What rumours- “

“Please Otto I am not blind!” Viserys almost barked making Otto go still, “if your attentions are anything but pure, if you think you can use her as something to breed-“ Viserys tirade went on though if anyone else was in the room you’d see his guilt was wrapped in the speech, “then you have lost your mind. She is not something for me to sell, I wont do it, I wont let history repeat. So Otto I swear to whatever gods may exist don’t think I will not replace you,”

The room went eerily silent and was only broken after Otto painfully cleared his throat, “I would like an heir yes however,” he spoke up quickly when he saw Viserys face harden, “However it is not my main desire. I wish to marry, marry someone I care deeply for, someone who I picked and who picked me in return, and to have a child, a child as beautiful as your own daughter who I could bond with like you have. I wish for a family Viserys but only with her. and if she does not want me then I shall leave her be. I don’t wish to cause more harm,”

The hardness washed off the kings face, “If she does not want you? Have you not been courting her?”

“Not officially your grace. The topic it hasn’t came up,”

“What do you even do?”

“We talk,”

“Talk?”

“Yes. Talk,” he said, shuffling forward to gossip like they did when they were younger, “about anything and everything. About the flowers in the gardens and historical figures. Or the moon the night before or the sunrise that morning. We talk and talk and the conversation never dries up. She is charming and witty and more brilliant than any man- any person I’ve ever met,”

Viserys sat silently for a few moments, “You love her?” his words made Otto pause.

“I do. Even if she does not love me,”

“Then I think its about time you find out if she does,”

The walk around the castle gardens was only made better by Otto’s company. He listened as you told him about Rhanerya’s improvement in needle work and what you’d seen on your recent flights. However, his mind seemed to be wondering with each word. “Are you alright my lord?”

Your words snapped him from his thoughts and his mouth had never felt dryer, “May I ask you a question my lady?”

“You just did,” you teased, something he’d usually roll his eyes at, “but I will allow another,”

You expected a joust back but instead he took a deep breath making you pause in your tracks, “I was wondering if you’d attend the king’s birthday celebration with me?”

“I already told you I was going?” you said, head tilted to the side in confusion.

Otto took another deep breath. There was no going back, “I’m not asking if you are going. I’m asking if when we both attend, we attend together. As a couple if you will,” he stayed silent waiting for your response.

The blank look on your face made him panic but a small smirk slowly crept on your face, “Are you asking to court me lord Otto Hightower?”

“I suppose I am,” the smile returned to his lips.

“Then it would be my honour,”

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[rainbow-sunshine-unicorn]

re your post abt Anthony loving like violet I was ALSO thinking about how he insists he has no place for love in his marriage but at the same time he's doing it out of love for his future children because he doesnt want them to be abandoned by whichever parent is in mourning when THEY are in morning. Like yes he doesnt wanna cause a wife that much pain but he also doesnt wanna parentify his future eldest and he doesnt want them to feel lost or have his glaring abandonment issues and like they have no one to go through and doesnt want them to feel bound to expectations and live a life without love of their own

YES! I definitely agree that not wanting his children to suffer was also a big part of the reason. I think it’s quite understandable why he would think that a wife who did not love him would be a much more functional parent in the aftermath of his death.

I also think that a part of it is that, he wanted his children to have a mother who would put her children above all else, even her spouse. Something, he feels like he didn’t get.

I mean, at the height of her grief, Violet says things like this to him, in addition to telling him that without Edmund, “there is no air”, implying that without him she finds no meaning in life, no reason to keep breathing.

While what Violet said was through a haze of grief and trauma, what Anthony heard, at a very vulnerable moment, was that his mother would rather die for her husband than live for her children. And it’s very hard to not take that sort of thing personally.

So you can see why he thinks that if his wife doesn’t love her husband, she’ll love her children more, the most.

I also think that his plan to “spend several stretches of time apart” from his wife and children comes into play here, because it was so his wife and children would not know him enough to love him and therefore mourn him.

It makes a perverse kind of sense from his perspective. He had a very present loving father and so when he was gone, he left behind a large gap in Anthony’s life. His own children would know him very little, so there would be no gap left behind because there was never any space for him in their lives, in the first place.

[drdemonprince]

to the anon who sent me the message that took them 4 hours to draft.

I think your experience both with organizing and disability has probably provoked you to rethink the entire concept of "success" as our culture has defined it, even if you feel yourself still longing for some of the comfort and ease that capitalistic success can seemingly provide (or that we are conditioned to believe it can provide). im not sure what to say that can match the effort your put into your message, in fact i am galled by the fact that i know that i can't match that effort. i don't know how to make sense of the fact that a person who is finding it incredibly difficult to remain connected and engaged during this time, due to disability, has decided that i was worth that level of effort when they don't have the energy to message people they know. i don't think i am worth that effort. but i also respect that mired in all that you're mired in, it's a meaningful gesture toward engagement and connection to even bother writing such a message. i just think in a lot of ways i am a misplaced target for it, because i am a ridiculously privileged and publicly exposed individual who receives dozens of heartfelt messages that he doesnt find the time to respond to every single day. i think if anything that i've written rubs you the wrong way you'd be right to approach it with cynicism. because what the fuck do i know, banging around on my laptop every day and getting paid for it. how dare i lecture anybody about not unlearning capitalism adequately enough. i am one of capitalisms little milking cows. a massive publishing company makes a weekly profit off of me, off the byproduct of the worst years of my life and my worst traumas, as well as the meaning i've made from the scholarship of others.

i'm so enraged for you that you got a debilitating case of COVID (after several other cases) on an encampment, and that now the community you foster at that encampment is not there for you. i am disgusted at how more seasoned activists and organizations have regarded student protestors as disposable this entire year, selling them out to the cops, cutting bad deals with campus administration, and sending them to yellow and red risk level actions without adequate communication and getting them kettled and beat, or else nullifying their efforts with mealy-mouthed talk about keeping things peaceful. i see so many toothless, neoliberal protests happening here, ones that serve only as fundraisers for massive nonprofit orgs, and i also see literal teenagers being dragged right into paddy wagons by the likes of the PSL or the RCP while the Dems deride them and dance to Brat tracks, not even pretending to care the way they unconvincingly did in say 2020.

It's all making me terribly cynical, wondering where we are headed and whether i can or should encourage people who are younger, stronger, more energetic, more pliable, and more vulnerable to me to give up all that they've got for a cause when it's likely gonna be chewed up and spit out and not met in effort by anyone else. i am mournful of the fact that even i can't match that effort. every time i get a message from a friend or acquaintance who is going through some new awful traumatizing event i want to just curl up and disappear, because i can't even keep up with sending compassionate messages to all of them, let alone actually showing the fuck up and doing anything for them. and so sometimes i slip into the disaffected, blunted feeling that once led me as a younger man into libertarianism, thinking that all i can or should do is look after my own wellbeing, and fuck everybody else. and obviously that is a horrible path that is not by any means moral and certainly didn't help me anyway. it felt like we were on the brink of a great paradigm shift of some kind, a collapse of these evil systems, and now it feels like all of that is as far away as it's ever been, and that there aren't enough people with class consciousness and care for one another to make it happen.

i don't know. i think we all have to abandon our dreams of success, of comfort, of saving the world, the fantasies of everything being fine. i think we need to look to our immediate surroundings and our communities. i think we need to ask for help a whole hell of a lot more than any of us are doing, and to recognize that that is a form of helping. i think we need to get small. and remember we are weak animals. and stop thinking there is anything special or chosen about us. and to remember that nature can often be very cruel and that there is nothing we are owed. disabled people already know this of course, we know life isn't fair. we try to do what we can and yet we wake up feeling even less capable the next day, and it knows no logic and the universe remains indifferent to it. but there are people around us who can care, when we ask them to. and ways that we can just be there alongside one another in the muck of it all. not even necessarily making things better. certainly not being a savior and making the pain go away. maybe just sitting in the muck together.

all of which is to say, i am feeling stuck and overwhelmed and useless myself, anon, and i dont have any more answers than you. but thanks for messaging. im sorry people have taking advantage of you. including in my opinion lots of other activists. looking after yourself and not letting people guilt you doesn't mean turning into a conservative. the kind of anarchy that i am embracing right now is one that goes beyond linear change, beyond making meaning, beyond any idealistic visions of the future, beyond even fighting for some kind of symbolic survival. it's just being. none of it has to mean anything, none of it has to be headed anywhere. it just is. there is plenty for you to be bitter about.

[the-s1lly-corner]

TADC characters x kaufmos sibling!reader (part 2)

Prize 2/5 for @thatweird12 ! I hope you enjoy this ueue!

Characters: caine, kinger, jax, zooble

Notes: reader is GN, this is part 2 of this post with the rest of the cast you can find part 1 here , written on mobile

CWs: grief and loss

CAINE

He doesn't fully understand grief, and the magnitude of damage kaufmos abstraction did to you

Hes oblivious to your pain and when you do try to explain he still doesn't fully get it- there isnt anything he can do either he cant really bring someone back from abstraction

Hes pushy, too, often trying to rope you into talking sessions especially if you're skipping adventures to have some time to yourself- hes almost offended that you're skipping his hard work!

Hes simply... not the best option to seek support mostly due to him not understanding human feelings as an AI

KINGER

He lets you into his pillow fort if you want somewhere quiet to regather your thoughts... and for him to do the same for himself

You both talk, about kaufmo and kingers wife. You both bond over your loss- but you dont actually talk about the last moments spent together... instead you talk about the happier memories... kinger... doesnt have many of his own so he tends to urge you to take the lead

Encourages you to keep going, not just talking but to keep existing in general. He knows it's hard but he insists that kaufmo would've wanted you to keep going

Easily the least judgemental and the most patient out of everyone, he doesn't rush you to feel better or stop crying

ZOOBLE

Their overall tone and attitude may lead one to believe that they may not be the kindest in comforting a grieving person; but they're actually one of the least judgemental asides kinger

They're bad at comforting but you know they're listening to you. They dont force you to keep talking about kaufmo if you dont want to, you can talk about whatever you want if it makes you feel better

They wont open up to you about their own issues, even if you hadn't gone to them to share your woes

One of the few people that they care enough about to check in on; they sometimes stop by your room to make sure you're still kicking and they keep you company on days where you sit out on adventures

JAX

Hes not the best person to ask for comfort- I dont think hes the type to mock the metaphorical death of someone's sibling to their face but its clear he has no clue on how to comfort you

He... may actually be the type to avoid you when you're visibly mourning- it's horrible to say but it's something that seems likely given his character- he looked... uncomfortable or perhaps conflicted during the funeral and you serve as a reminder of.. well, everything

If he DOES say something or make an attempt he may something about kaufmo not wanting you to be so hung up- or in his unfiltered words before he realizes how fucked up it is "be a crybaby"

Genuine immediate regret, even he knows that's away too far and it will eat him alive

[tourettesdog]

DPxDC Prompt where Jazz has known grief for a while now. The soulmark on her left arm has been faded and blackened for over a year. She’s had time to mourn, but nothing can scrub the reminder from Jazz’s arm or erase the choking memory of air escaping her lungs when it faded.

She never even got to meet them.

When Danny dies in the portal, Jazz thinks she might just be destined to a life of loss. Danny is still here, he’s still alive in some way, but Jazz can’t help but wonder what Danny’s own soulmate has gone through. Her brother’s soulmark is still there too, but it’s sickly green and scarred over by the fern-like patterns of his deathscar. She can only imagine a mark to match her own on his soulmate.

Danny hopes his soulmate will move on. Jazz tries not to think about it and she does her best not to press the issue, letting him grieve in his own way.

Fate is a strange thing, however, and their world is turned on its head when Jazz’s soulmark begins to blaze the same, sickly green as Danny’s.

Jazz becomes obsessed with finding out how, while Danny dares to wonder if he gave up too soon.

-

Tim hasn’t had a good night’s rest since his soulmark bled green. He’s done research, exhausted every outlet he has, but he can find no history of a mark like his.

He can only assume his soulmate is dead. Survival does not coexist with the excruciating pain he felt coursing through his veins, so much so that he thought he would die alongside them. The mark taunts him more than anything.

Though when Jason Todd resurfaces, clawing his way back into Gotham in the same way he clawed himself from the grave, Tim’s eyes are drawn to the sickly green mark on his forearm.

[I kind of went buckwild with this idea and wrote several different branching ideas attached to it, so they go under the readmore.]

Mental image of Jason just being in one hell of a funk, and Tim awkwardly approaching him like "Look, I know we have our issues but there was a day I felt like my entire body was on fire and being torn to pieces. My mark's been this sickly green since... I'm pretty sure they're gone. Like I don't know how they wouldn't be, even though it's still there-- in a way. So like, I get it."

-

I imagine something going wrong in Amity-- bad reveal-- and Jazz and Danny have to upend their lives over it. Jazz was trying to find out what her returned soulmark might mean within the ghost zone, following whatever information she could-- but now they have to leave everything behind and it feels like grieving again.

Danny's still trying not to get his hopes up that his partner's mark would have returned just cause Jazz's has. But he's frustrated, and now feels guilty that his slipup led to them having to leave their home.

Jazz keeps telling Danny it's not his fault, that they mightve never found anything out anyway, but it still eats at him.

They move to Gotham cause it's got enough ambient ectoplasm to help Danny.

But then Danny notices something ghostly about Red Hood and starts getting close to him. He doesnt bring up ghost's right away, but tries to slowly broach the topic. Eventually Red Hood shows Danny his odd soulmark and Danny just about passes out from the adrenaline rush of seeing Jazz's mark in that familiar sickly green.

Danny doesn't know how to approach the situation without compromising either of their identities.

He even shows Jason his own mark. Jason can't quite make it out with the deathscar through it. It kinda looks like the crow Tim has, but it could also be any kind of bird and Tim usually hides his. Birds are common-- he should know.

Seeing as Phantom's called himself a ghost, and it might not even be the same mark, Jason doesn't think it's a good idea to tell Tim and give him some false hope. (Though the coincidence of another strange green mark has his mind lingering on it). Phantom's said it himself that he's been dead for awhile and he's sure his soulmate has moved on.

-

But Danny can't stop looking for a man with Red Hood's build and Jazz's mark.

And the more Jason hangs around Phantom and gets hints that they're very alike (and that Phantom is more alive than he lets on), he starts trying to figure out how he can get another glance at Tim's (usually-covered) soulmark to see if they're as similar as he thinks. (For shenanigans too, maybe Jason doesn't even know that Tim's mark is green now; maybe he's only ever seen a photo of it from before he started covering it).

-

Bonus points if Jazz somehow becomes friends with Tim Jazz being like "Oh hey my friend Tim invited us over for dinner, wanna come?"

For one hell of a chaotic, maximum fuckery reveal:

Everyone's in long sleeves/jackets for one reason or another (temperature or comfort) at dinner Danny feels Jason's ghostly bullshit right away though and will not stop Staring at him. Jason can't feel it back since his senses aren't as strong and Danny's much more muted while he's human. Danny's trying to subtly spill shit on Jason or in some other way try to see his mark. It backfires on Danny and his mark gets shown instead Cue Tim freaking out and Danny, in his infinite wisdom, blurting out about Jason's mark

Then when they all realize they just accidentally all had their identities outed, AND now have to discuss the reality of two of them being halfdead/having died

- Alternative identity shenanigans:

Tim and Jazz being friends and he sees sees her  mark and just gets thrown through the emotional ringer. But he doesn't think he can come out and tell Jazz about Jason because her finding out he died and somehow came back could have some serious ramifications and risk their identities.

But he also thinks Jason deserves some happiness and Jazz is a great person who Jason would get along with easily.

And Tim just can't stop thinking of his own mark now, for the first time in a long time. It just consumes his thoughts, and he eventually decides to introduce Jason to Jazz.

But Danny tags along and he and Jason immediately recognize each other's ghostly bullshit and Tim's plan of slowly introducing the two gets immediately sidelined

OR

Tim shows Jazz his own mark, trying to gauge what her reaction will be if he lets her know they have the same situation going on with their marks-- only for Jazz to just like almost wrench his arm out of his socket to get a better look at it because she'd never forget Danny's mark, nevermind the color.

- Another scenario (cause I wasn't lying when I said I went Buckwild):

Danny tries to lay low in Gotham, but his obsession eventually has him sticking his neck out.

The bats are suspicious of Phantom and want answers. Jason is out of the loop a bit and independently starts befriending Phantom after Danny catches whiff of his ectoplasm

The bats eventually catch Danny with some acquired Fenton tech. The tech is more harmful than the bats expected and in his mad scramble to escape Danny's sleeve gets torn and Tim gets a glimpse of a familiar mark in that mess of green lichtenbergs. It's a sight that haunts him, marred by ectoplasm dripping from Phantom's wide-eyed face and down his shoulder.

Tim keeps trying to find Phantom to talk to him and apologize but he's gone off radar.

Jason's heard about what happened but keeps quiet about what he knows when Phantom still comes to him to talk. He can tell Phantom is more hesitant to be around him, but is glad he's still willing to meet him.

But Jason does want to actually see the soulmark for himself. So he starts talking about his own and they show each other theirs

And while Danny likes being friends with Red Hood, he is aware he has connections to the bats and that getting too close to him could put him in danger. But he sees Jazz's mark on him and feels physically ill because how can he deny telling Jazz about it just because he's afraid?

And Jason could tell Phantom about Tim's mark, but how can he tell him after what happened between the bats and Phantom, and when it would compromise their identities?

Jazz, throughout all of this, has been stressed out worrying about how to keep her little brother safe and make sure the bats never hurt him again, while she keeps unknowingly befriending the bats, starting with her coworker Babs.

Nevermind Tim just thinking his soulmate is a full on ghost in this situation.

[connorsblog]

you're gone, but im still here. | c.g

genre : angst

summary : after carls death, you feel lost.

warning : hallucinations & semi-graphic gore description

do not continue reading if you have not seen 8x09 !! spoilers ahead

i sat infront of carls grave, the mere dirt pile was all rick and michonne could do while alexandria was burning down to the ground.

a pang went to my heart as i ran my fingers over the ashed dirt. it was a mix of grey and brown now, just reminding me all over again how my home burnt down.

"i shouldve been able to save you," my voice cracks as i attempt to talk to carl. it doesnt work very well.

i try to talk again, but all that comes out is a cracked "sorry." it wasnt enough and i knew it.

i tried to focus on the background sounds, but the soft chirps of the cicadas didn't suffice for carls voice.

i tried to imagine him there, sitting next to me in silence and holding my head on his shoulder.

i guess i imagined too far, as when i turned around he was there. in 3d.

"carl?" my voice came out soft and broken.

"you don't have to be sad," he got straight to his point. almost like he was about to disappear any moment.

"i died to save someone. he's going to be good for the community," he continued, "his name is siddiq."

i guess i forgot about him, since he hadnt been here very long. i had seen him maybe once, maybe twice?

"it's not your fault i died," not even allowing me to talk before starting up again, "it's not your fault."

he kept saying that but some part of me, buried deep inside of me, thought otherwise.

"it is my fault," came out without my consent. i didnt want to speak, i wanted to relish in his voice and presence until i couldnt see his face anymore.

he gripped my wrist. some part of me wanted to rip away and continue to believe he was dead. but he was right there, in front of my face.

i began to talk again, but as quick as he came he left. nothing was there besides the dirt mound.

i heard ricks gravely voice from somewhere behind me. i ignored it, hoping, somehow that carl would come back.

forty-six beats of silence later, i felt a hand on my shoulder. bristly cold.

shortly after, i realized it was carl again.

i didn't speak, not that he'd let me, and waited for him to say something.

"siddiq is good people, you know," he lifts his head a bit, finally allowing me to see his gaping gunshot wound in his head. but it wasnt bleeding, just a void of flesh that was on the side of his head.

i resisted the urge to scream, that all-too-familiar pang in my heart back. plus, if i did scream.. i'd look crazy. nobody was there, right?

"you'll be okay without me," he continues. i didnt know why he continued to talk, i hadnt said anything for the past few minutes.

"are you sure?" i finally spoke up. my throat hurt from the words, they felt like lava bubbling up and threatening to blow any second.

"i'm sure," he whispered before his eye closed and he disappeared for the last time.

"i dont want to live without you. but i will anyway," i sigh out as i brush my fingers over his grave for the last time for a while. i cant mourn him for too long.

[blabberoo]

Just been thinking how drifter and beheaded would clash at first because of how opposite they are but would somehow agree to a proposition. They are after one thing, panacea. Drifter knew beheaded would outlive him by a long mile. "You know my time is limited. So when the time comes, I'll entrust the search to you."

Bobby not taking any bs, especially froma dead man walking. "What's in it for me."

"My all." He has nothing to loose.

It was a very rough start, but they came to know each other. Bobby is running purely on self preservation, thus incredibly selfish and caught up in his own goals. Drifter having close to none, basically had accepted that death would take him at anytime, yet always does his best to actually help people.

This confuses beheaded. Why do you have the need to help others when its not gonna benefit you, or worse, they bite back when you arent able to give what they expect from you.

Drifter doesnt retaliate. He points out the some of the denizens of the central, some of them taking refuge, taken up business, mourning for the dead, and healing from an aftermath. Each person, he was able to name their situations and goals.

Still, it doesnt disprove the immortal's point. So many things still went to crap and out of drifters control. Nothings changed.

"Sure. You could say the same thing with staying idle. And these people I mentioned, they're here right now, no? I dont think that's 'nothing'."

"...seriously, what are you getting from this."

"I want to see how their lives go."

It's a very simple want. A want the Beheaded can't seem to have a grasp on. Then again, desire is subjective.

"Do you even have enough time for that?"

Drifter didnt said anything. He just turns to him and smiles.

[ravers8fantasy]

The convo in coment section inspored me. Could you please write some headcanons about how the other boxers reacted to Don's new emo look? Please I need to see him ridiculed by the more mean ones😭. Also im to lazy to come up with headcanons myself-

Im so sorry it took me longer that usual to do this 😭 my motivation is coming back to me, trust we are slowly gonna be so fucking back

If there are any spelling mistakes or just mistakes in general, im so sorry

Anyway lets gooooooooooo ( •̀ᄇ• ́)ﻭ✧

Reactions to Don going dark mode:

Glass Joe:

Didnt think much of it at first, until he saw Don redying his toupee in a sink using temporary dye which is when he realised "mon dieu is this guy serious?"

Is a little concerned, because Don just looks upset 24/7 (his eyeliner keeps smudging so he looks tired)

However, he is just letting Don do his own thing since he seems pretty happy with himself

Von Kaiser:

Since being the oldest member of the WBVA means he has seen fuck all go down, Dons sudden cosmetic change was just kinda there, Kaiser didnt mind it nor did he really care💀

Told Don to get better fucking eyeliner because his kept smudging and it was annoying Kaiser

Thinks Don is just going through a phase so he is letting him brood it out until it washes over

Disco kid:

Thought Don was being silly and laughed at him. He got yelled at and realised he was in fact NOT joking

Got worried because he thought Don was going to stay like that forever

Told Don about hot topic because he genuinely didnt know what else to say to his emo ass

King hippo:

King kinda gave 0 fucks, saw Don and offered him some snacks since his rbf lwk ruining the vibes

Didnt really react, just kinda groaned and walked away

Has no idea what emo is, just think Don looks moody but then again King doesnt really care

Piston hondo:

Didnt know wether to laugh or cry, he always knew Don was dramatic and sensetive but he never would of thought he would end up emo

asked him what was wrong like a good person... But secretly couldn't take him seriously

Had to consult the others in the major circuit to discuss (gossip) about the phenomenon (don)

Bear hugger:

Thought Don was just changing up his look for a fresh start

"hey pal! I like your new look"

"no you dont... Dont lie to me, my heart has already gone through enough pain..."

"....what? your heart hurts! Have you been to a doctor?"

Was really curious about this whole 'emo' style so he kept asking the others about it

Was the most confused during the emergency meeting Hondo held because he just thought Don was being Don (dramatic)

Great tiger:

He says he isnt a hater buuuut, sometimes he lets it slide, in this case when he saw Don he couldnt help but raise an eyebrow

Was trying to show concern to Don, but mid scentence he ended up cracking and lost it, bro started giggling in his face

Is not taking Don seriously, if anything he is trying to persuade him to go back to himself before

Aran ryan:

Did a double take, said "what the feck", and started cackling at Don brooding in the corner of the locker room

Realised halfway through flaming him that his hair was dyed darker, that only added fuel to the fire.

Now he gets called 'rosie posie' even more by the little shit since it counters his 'mysterious' exterior. Dont worry, Aran eventually got bored ofmaking fun of him. that changed when he saw his goofy ahh '6'5 mysterious alpha' stance in the ring

Soda popinski:

Thought Don was in mourning and suggested he should take a break.

Got told by Hondo he was 'emo' and Soda was just like oh ok im gonna take the piss out of him now!!!

Kept annoying Don by asking him to sing my chemical romance or fall out boy, to which Don obviously said hecks naw to

Bald bull:

Took one good look at Don and felt greatful he wasnt in the major circuit because to bull, Don gen looked like some sad moody teenager

Just avoided him because the last thing Bull wanted was a 6'1, 23 year old spaniard complaining about how dark his soul is or smth

Obviously, once yknow over coming the uh 'shock?' of seeing Don all emofied he stopped avoiding him but yeah. Bulk found it strange

Super macho man:

Said something along the lines of 'rock on crazy dude- black isnt your colour.'

Kept trying to make him confess if it was the little mac toupee incident or the rumored break up which made him go emo

joked and told Don to buy fishnet leggings (promptly got punched in the face afterwards by Don)

(btw, carmen and don are endgame dont even play with me rn /lh)

Sandman:

Saw him, turned around and left because he honestly was speechless and not in a 'oh!" way but more like an oh Wait what the fuck was that way-

Like Kaiser, he also told Don to use better eyeliner. He also told Don not to use so much other wise he will have severe panda eyes by the end of a match

Just didnt have alot to say about it really😭

・*:..｡o♬*ﾟ・*:..｡o♬*ﾟ・*:..｡o♬*ﾟ・*:..｡o♬*ﾟ*:..

This was alot of fun to write about!! Again sorry it took longer than usual, school has been kicking me up the arse 😭😭thanks for the ask! BRING BACK GUYLINER. 🗣️🗣️🗣️

[crushedsweets]

Awhile back you answered an ask on how other creeps would respond to Toby's death, and I was wondering how they would respond to Kate death?

IM PUNCHING THE WALL. ALRIGHT. warning for death and grief and mourning . . .

im gonna set this after she starts staying at the proxy cabin and becoming friends with more people, rather than rotting in the mines. im also imagining they find her body in the forest, nobody was there when she died.

tim and brian would have a heavy heart about it. sure, they had massive issues with her, but even by time shes 25+, they still kinda see her as a little kid. she was 14/15 when they met her, and she acted like a feral animal till she was like 17. brian got her a job on the farm, tim helped set up a room for her. they'd help toby set up a grave, but overall they dont go out of their way to mourn her - toby has that handled

which.....guides me towards toby... they've known eachother since they were 17-19, and they are like siblings. when she was in the mines, toby would always bring her food and even dragged a whole mattress there. thats his little sister (she is older than him..) and he had always been so so so protective of her. he loses his shit, screaming and throwing shit. is never home, spends so much time at the mines. chops down random ass trees just cuz he needs to exhaust himself enough to stop feeling so much pain. it feels like losing lyra again. he sets a grave up for her, puts her body in it, carves some stuff into a wooden cross he made from a tree he cut down, lays hella rocks all over. him and nina spend a good chunk of time together. nina has never seen him cry until this. eventually, after he's gone for days, he comes back to the cabin and just rots in his bed almost catatonic. clocky has to come collect him

whiiiiiiich now brings me to clocky. she'd find out from nina, since she'd already be in her own apartment by now and tobys not gonna tell her. she'd immediately get nina, get jack, go to the cabin, and try to console toby and nina the best she(and jack) can. has to learn to bite her tongue when tobys mouthing off cuz hes mad she's trying to help. she doesnt really have time to mourn kate at first, until maybe a week goes by and tobys finally eating again and clockys just sitting there and starts bawling cuz kate was her friend too and she had to immediately go into caretaker mode.

nina. screams and cries and needs to have people with her all the time, no matter what. she doesnt feel safe alone cuz she just wants to curl up and die so so so bad. she makes toby take her to the grave(he doesnt want to but he knows kate would be pissed if he wasnt at least a little nice to nina after this) and she just sobs. she holds toby and tries to be like 'its okay its okay its okay' but neither know who shes comforting. she'd print as many pictures she got of kate as possible (not a lot) and try to scrap book it and try to memorialize her like that. just hold photos and pictures and have them in her apartment and cry. give a photo to toby with a letter written on the back telling him how much kate loved him.

similar to if toby died, jack would try to host stuff. make dinner for them all, invite them over, give everyone space to eat and remember her. he'd go with toby to the grave as well, but he's less assertive with his care compared to clocky. less 'get the fuck up, this is making you feel worse' and more 'you know you can come over right? its not good to stay home alone'. toby would come to see him a lot, too. . .

toby would have to take on a lot of her patrols, so he'd bump into ann and lulu a lot. . . ann would tease him a bit like 'ooo is katey in trouble? whyre you here, handsome?', till he smacks the shit out of her w the handle of his hatchet and he grumbles something about her death. ann would shut up after. she'd be bummed out that kates dead cuz she liked her, but not mourn. lulu wouldn't be able to process it. ann would tell her, lulu would cry, then a day later she's asking when kate's coming to visit.

i dont think anyone else would really be impacted, though... jeff/dina didnt like her, she wasnt close with ben, never even spoke to jane or liu... lazari would cry and draw pictures of her, but she'd be okay shortly after, esp cuz jacks okay.

[wheresurboytonighthelookslikeenj]

murdoch characters and what they would call tim hortons

murdoch : the full tim hortons. murdoch would call miles gilbert horton by his christian name if he could. but also deep down i think he desires a simpler time where he can say timmy’s

ogden : tim’s rolls off her tongue like it was made to be

george : tim’s, the full tim hortons when feeling extra, timothy hortons when making a point. proceeds to be shocked upon learning that tim horton’s name was in fact not timothy

brackenreid : does not go there ; has personal beef

henry : look me in the eye and tell me this man ISNT saying timmies. george objects to this spelling bc it implies that the products themselves are called timmies (singular timmy) like at least timmy’s keeps that meaning that the restaurant belonged to tim horton. henry points out that it’s spelled tim hortons w/o an apostrophe so timmies should technically be considered the correct spelling and george informs him that they only got rid of the apostrophe bc of a language law in québec and henry is like why do you care you don’t even call it that and george is like it’s the principle of things and by the time henry’s asking about his opinion on the name timbits the person at the drive thru window is sick of them bc their coffee’s getting cold

semi related remember timbiebs. henry wouldve gotten the merch.

violet : tim’s but she doesn’t go very often, she has way better options

effie : effie is such a timmy’s girlie you’d hear her say « i think i want timmy’s » and think yeah that’s such a thing she would say. truly it’s the most logical option in the world. rest in peace effie newsome you wouldve loved calling tim hortons timmy’s

watts : tim hortons or tim’s but like violet he doesnt go very often bc he knows better places to get coffee and donuts, mourns the pretzel bagel constantly

margaret : tim horton’s, way used to the apostrophe and when one she goes to frequently changes their signage she mentions it to brax who’s like why does it matter bad coffee is bad coffee doesnt matter who it belongs to lmaoooo

choi : tim hortons but only bc he hasnt been canadian long enough. in due time he will start to adapt tim’s i believe this to be true

[saturnxlust]

Sighhhh this is a shit post cause i have nothing else to do🫶🫶

John Marston x Fem!Reader

Hes a interesting lover

He isnt that bad but hes not like amazing

I imagine he was a good dad for the most part to john but i dont think he’d want another kid

If you do he might just shove jack in your arms and let you take care of him for awhile

Jack is a sweetheart though🫶🫶

I dont think abigal could really complain about their marriage other then the fact he ran away for about a year and constantly left for days at a time without telling anyone

If you have a problem with that he might just shrug and offer to take you with him

But if you decline and ask him to stay home with you hes not too keen on it

Most of the time its usually missions dutch sends him on that take days but there have been a few occasions where they take a week

When everything went bad with the gang at the bank his first priority was you and jack

He wanted to get you out of this life and run away like he had before blackwater

He knew everyone would be counting on him and arthur to keep dutch sane though so he begrudgingly stayed

When arthur, dutch, javier, and micah go missing its chaos

He goes practically insane not knowing what to do

He also heavily mourns the loss of his “adopted” father hosea

He shuts down almost completely and relies on you for almost everything

Most of his days are spent in his cot wishing for them to come back, that is until you join him

He gets distracted by you almost enough to forget hes lost his 2 father figures and his older brother figure

Micah he doesnt really care about, never understand why the man was so sour all the time

Javier he misses, mostly wanting him to be at the camp to bring everyones spirts up by playing a song

Secretly sings one of javiers songs while working by himself

When they finally come back hes never been happier, but while he was slumped in bed he was imagining hosea would come back with them and that they had grabbed his body to keep him alive

When thats not the case he cries

Genuine tears fall from his eyes that night as he holds you and goes through the grieving process all over again

It took some words of encouragement from arthur to get him up and moving the next day

When dutch and micah flee leaving arthur and him and a few others to deal with their attackers

He doesnt let you out of his sight

Not wanting you to get hit in the crossfire

Once everything was over and you all were safe again he never left your side and his hands stayed on you at all costs

He feels like if he isnt holding you and constantly around you then something will happen

When evrything goes bad and arthur dies? Oh god

You thought he was bad before

Hes awful now

He starts crying as soon as he finds out and if your off doing something he immediately seeks your comfort

Walking up to you and holding you while he cries into your shoulder is the only thing he knows to do right now

When he eventually calms a little hes gone

Lost almost completely

Theres not much you can say without him breaking down again so you decide to be silent

Holding him and running your hands through his hair

He falls to his knees infront of you and his arms wrap around your wait as he cries into your stomach

His hat is long gone somewhere but it didnt matter to him

All that mattered is that his best friend and brother was dead and there was nothing he could do

He wished arthur had told him sooner

He wished he had read the signs after micah began calling him black lung

He wished he had gotten arthur medicine

Even if it wouldnt have helped much it wouldve done something

And then the anger sets in

He gets up abruptly and walks away

Beginning to throw and punch things, nothing at you

Not even close to you

He screams and curses micah and dutches names

Feeling betrayed by those he once called his family

Once the anger leaves he breaks down again

Sobbing and shaking as he reaches out for you, silently begging you to do something to fix this

You just walked over and held him in your arms, letting him fall asleep against you

The last thing you remember seeing is him snoring softly in your arms as you leaned against a tree

Falling asleep yourself after being so tired of being on the run

God knows what happened to the rest and may god keep them safe is the last thought that rings through your head before you fall asleep with john pressed against you

Oh my god i didnt realize how in depth i went with his grief😭😭

[senseioftheseidiots]

ive lost count of my headcanon number real

Ive said this before but not really explained things completely.

Wu has acid burns. All over his face, chest, shoulders to arms after getting swallowed by the devourer, if it was enough to bleach pythor. Wu didnt leave unscathed.

The only reason noone knows about it is because he shapeshifted/made an illusion to show the ninja he was fine, despite the burns. He's also gotten a few scars from a fight after the banishment of his brother in the first battle, this is a headcanoned event, during his mourning period in the early weeks after his brothers banishment wu was ambushed, causing his wings to get torn in the process. As well as give him additional damage to his back with it being stabbed, as its the most sensitive as it held the wings, its the most painful thing to hit to a dragon. He has really good healing, as well as garmadon, they both cant be blinded or deafed permanently, but wu's healing doesnt erase any of the scars or marks left behind

Oh, and i forgot to mention, Dragons are supposed to have horns, and wu does have them.. The problem is they grow quickly..how come it isnt shown?

Simple.. He saws them off.

They were supposed to be four big, beautiful horns..but after the fsm first caught a glimpse of it, he immediately sawed it off..And since they regrow, and quickly, it had to be done constantly. Even after the fsm was gone, wu had ended up hating how the horns looked and continued sawing them off for all his life. Using any method he could, any weapon, no matter how painful it was