#and he doesn't even remember where he lived during what period.

[spiocean]

Yeah no... What if Solomon doesn't tell his age not because of any sacred reasons, but because the ancient chronology is so fucked up that he just can't recalculate it in normal years.

[gremlin-bot]

There is No Closure, Just Adapting To Life

Ao3 link: Here Master list: Here

Summary:

Danny should have asked more questions before accepting the request to fix a different dimension's time stream from Clockwork. He didn’t think he would be de-aged and live a different life where he would latch on to a new family and friends. It was nice being a part of a community of heroes.

It really wouldn’t have been that bad if he stayed there. Too bad that he was pulled from that world and back into his old one, both fulfilling his wish to see his original family and killing all the relationships with his new ones.

Now he has to figure out how to live in his original dimension again. And maybe, just maybe find a way to visit the one he forcefully left behind.

Chapter 1: Your trial period is over; your account has been put on hold.

Danny shouldn't be thinking about the past life he lived, shouldn't think about the parents who adopted him only to disappear for months at a time, nor the vigilante family he’d inserted himself into during their time of need. That life wasn't his to begin with! Just a dimension with a timeline that needed fixing in an unconventional way. 

So, why is he crying? 

He just got back to his home, time hadn’t passed here. He can see Sam, Tucker, and Jazz again! (He'll never see Cass, Jason, Dick, Damien, Steph, Kon –) He's more experienced and better at fighting now. He can protect Amity better! (He misses Gotham. The city seemed to make heroes feel like magic) Danny has his original life back… but damn it, he wants to go back! He doesn't want to protect a city alone again! 

Danny curls into himself on his bed. Silent sobs racking his body. He's so different than he was before. His hair was longer and parted in the middle, nothing like his usual, (old), fringe style. His missing scars and the new ones he can't explain. Gods-  (No, wait, it's Ancients) he is missing his spleen! How was he going to explain that, or any of this? Even as his sobs grew more violent, their volume didn't increase. 

A trick he learned in the Wayne manor. 

He didn't want to disturb anyone with his half remembered dreams of a different life.

Danny took a shuddering breath, the feelings he’d been trying to bury since his return hitting him full force. He’d been sucked back to his original dimension without warning a day ago. Clockwork, that bastard, didn't even give him time to say goodbye to the rest of the Bats and Birds. He was in his apartment as Tim Drake one second and plopped in Danny Fenton's bedroom the next. 

His talk with the older ghost didn't make the situation any better. 

He didn't explain anything! Just that his work in that dimension's timeline was done. If Clockwork hadn't time locked the portal Danny would've been in the ancient’s lair instead of dissociating in a room that doesn't feel like his anymore. He hates not being given a choice or having a plan. 

Jason was right; anger was so much easier than actually dealing with your feelings.

His spiraling was stopped when he heard a soft knock on his door. Oh, he’d forgotten that Jazz was home. Living through a lifetime made him forget a lot about his first one. He didn't get time to follow the new spiral of thoughts before his sister opened the door. 

"Danny?" Her voice was soft, laced with worry.

"Yeah," He hates how hoarse his voice sounds.

 He should be better than this; he’s infiltrated the league of assassins for Ancients’ sake. He watched as she approached his bed, buried beneath blankets. He can hear when she actually sees him by her gasp. 

"What happened?" Jazz asked as she sat on the bed facing him.

"I… I fixed a timeline in a different dimension for Clockwork." Danny can't bring himself to look at her. Everything is still fresh. The feeling he can just barely comprehend as grief has yet to settle inside him. He takes a deep breath. He can compartmentalize this and deal with it after Jazz leaves.

"How long were you gone this time, a month or two?" Jazz looks at him with unending patience and care. 

"17 years," He whispers hesitantly.

"Oh… oh, Danny." He couldn’t have prepared himself for the shock and pained confusion on her face. She leaned her over him, pulling him into a tight hug.

Oh, he can't compartmentalize this after all. Danny’s breath hitched as fat tears began rolling down his face, dampening his pillow even more. His life as Tim made him forget what it was like to have unending support from a sibling. He loved the hodge podge of the Waynes, but he was a vigilante first. He wasn’t really family.

Just a coworker.

“You don’t have to talk about it if it’s too much. Just know that I’ll always be here for you little brother,” Jazz’s voice was gentle. Oh, did he miss her during those years. Cass and Barbara helped him cope with missing Jazz whether they knew it or not.  He turned into her, relishing in the fact she was here. He may be missing a whole new family, but he got his old one back.

“I missed you, Jazz. Can you stay here with me for a little while?” He pleaded between silent sobs.

“Of course. I’ll be here as long as you need.”

---------—x—---------

Tim woke up to the sound of typing and the sight of red hair. He must have crashed at Barbara’s last night. He sits up, not fully awake just yet.

“Morning, Babs,” he yawns, eyes blurry. 

The gentle but persistent clicking of keys stops with a hitch of her breath. "Danny, it's me Jazz. Is Babs someone you were close to… before?" 

The voice he hears back isn't Barbara's.

It's one he barely recognizes now, made even harder to place with the barely covered pain. Jazz deserves a better brother than him. 

What kind of brother is he, that he doesn't even remember his own sister at first glance. 

Danny takes a deep shaky breath. No, he can't think like that. He hasn't seen her in 17 years, Of course he isn't going to recognize her. Still she hasn't changed one bit. 

He can't tell if that makes it better or worse.

"Yeah" he croaks, voice rough from sleep and the lump that's formed in his throat. “She has hair like yours.”

“Oh… do you want to talk about it?” she offers awkwardly. She was completely out of her depth but still wanting to help in her own way. (Alfred would have loved to meet her.)

Danny shakes his head, pushing past the aching in his chest as he drags himself out of bed. He doesn't look back at Jazz, he doesn't want to see the pitying look in her eyes. Something ugly, angry, and raw always tends to creep into him when that particular emotion is directed at him, and she doesn't deserve that.

What a cruel joke that the one thing that he gets in spades in both lives is pity.

He needs a strategy if he plans to survive the next couple of days, (the rest of his life), and that starts small. Get ready and investigate what the hell was happening in his life before… his time mission. He lost so much time with his breakdown, how annoying. 

Tim (no, he's Danny now) huffs, opening his closet. Well before he starts anything he needs a damn shower. 

---------—x—---------

By the time Danny was clean and dressed, Jazz had left him with a journal with his name on it and her scrapbook. Ancients, she really is the best big sister. (Cass would contest that). 

He knows that he should dive into them right away, but… he can put it off a little longer. Remembering and relearning will take time, and he has all the time in the world now, whether he likes it or not. Diving deep will be too much. He’s too emotionally raw, and just needs something to latch on to, like: 

Next day survival plan 101, start small. 

He can look at Danny’s phone; he’ll figure out what to do with Tim’s later. Remember, one step at a time; one thing at a time. Finding the device was easy, it was on the nightstand where he always leaves it. Seems like this is one of the habits he kept in both lifes. Opening it up was easier than he originally expected; he really didn't have a sense of cybersecurity beyond Tucker back then.

(…Now?)

The device was familiar in so many different ways; he always did gravitate towards technology (with Tucker pushing him forward right next to him). The screen lit up, showing the basic layout of all phones; he dismissed notifications from dumb games, leaving the social media ones. What he was really looking for was his messages.

He had a couple new messages from Sam and Tucker in their group chat. He should look at the chat, but, in doing so, he'd be facing the people he had been grieving their missing presence for the last 17 years. A missing presence that had him picked up so many new hobbies, just because they reminded him of his two best friends. Danny would have never touched a camera if it wasn't for the ache in his chest everytime he passed a looming gargoyle. The hundreds of pictures will finally be seen by their intended audience, if he could only get himself to open the gods damned chat!

Shaky breath slips from his lips as he steadies his thoughts. Baby steps. Look at the messages and go from there.

— New Messages —

PettyWitch

Tucker I swear if your ass isn't up rn, I'm coming over and replacing all of the meat in your fridge with lettuce.

TFine

give me a sec 2 get down there you can stop calling me 

i'm not going to answer

what about Danny

how come you aren't calling HIM!!!!!

PettyWitch

Bc Danny can actually get up before noon during the weekends unlike other people in this chat! So he can be trusted to get to Nasty Burger on time. 

TFine

HEY!

Their banter goes on. Danny scrolls through it with a painful kind of fondness draping over him. A hole that once gouged his heart was being filled, only to have a different part get ripped out for the same reason. The people he missed will always have some type of mouth on them, especially one that gets them in trouble. Moving past the too fresh grief and focusing on the conversation at hand does bring about a pressing issue, he's supposed to meet up with Sam and Tucker soon.

Shit.

Looks like he's facing more ghosts of his past-turned-present sooner than he thought. It's Tucker and Sam. They stuck with him through his death and his first hero career. If anyone besides Jazz could sympathize with him, it was them. Resolve hardened like the Bat he is (was —there is no way back to them now), he spends the little remaining time flipping through pictures and looping handwriting as he pieces the memory of his old life back together.

[anantaru]

DAY 31 — drunk sex

kinktober 2023. — masterlist | ao3

a/n. hello loves! this concludes the last day of my kinktober, thank you so much to everyone who read along and supported my stuff <3 it means a lot to me and I had so much fun!! after taking a day off, i will post three bonus kinks that will be posted from the 2nd-4th november, that's all and i love you all — yoru <3

𖧡 — including — kazuha, venti

𖧡 — warnings — fem! reader, drunk syx, teasing venti & dom venti, wall syx, touch starved, both parties are consenting

𖧡 — KAZUHA

sometimes you forget that even kazuha can be defenseless against alcohol and it's negative reactions on the body, let alone make yourself join him in order to watch out for your boyfriend which wasn't originally that big of a deal— despite both of you now, being batshit drunk, randomly lost outside a dark alleyway and essentially starved for each others touch.

"so cute," kazuha coos and hiccups against your lips, "please, voice your pleasure out to me, i yearn to hear you."

to your surprise, it was a miracle that you both were even able to stand tall with all the alcohol you had consumed earlier running through your veins, and well, the truth was— you haven't seen each other for a while, and what better way was there to catch up on your lives with a couple glasses of dandelion wine accompanying adventurous stories and daily activities.

kazuha eagerly pulls at your bottom lip between his teeth as he whines when you suddenly pull yourself away, "come back," he pouts, "one more, heh, ’please," attempting to kiss you again as you dodge him flawlessly.

yet, he wouldn't be sad for too long— because you see, you could barely wait to feel him as well, not just those small, hasty kisses he would plant on you, but the real thing, the one you missed dearly as you turn your body around so your back could face him, your plush ass greedily wiggling over his rigid erection and drawing a low grumble out of his chest.

oh my, you're just so desperate, and kazuha doesn't even try to conceal his excitement when he flips your skirt up, followed by dragging your slicked panties down so they could clumsily dangle around your knees. so now, as he fists his erection in his palm, gathering his pre cum over his shaft so he wouldn't hurt you upon entering your warmth, you bite back a whimper when he nudges his cockhead against your hole before slowly entering you.

"baby," you pant, "hurry, please more," his painfully red and swollen cock gradually filling you up as your own body grows on hotness, almost feeling as if set on fire when the cold wall you were being pressed against served as an easy way to cool yourself off.

kazuha sighs blissfully as he can finally, finally feel you again, he just missed you so much it practically burned his heart to be apart from you for such a long period of time, his head although ringing, the lingering scent of wine hovering between your bodies when everything appears as if trapped in a blur.

one hand, wraps around your waist while the other presses close to the cold wall to keep his stability, or well, both of your stabilities.

if anything, both of you would die of embarrassment tomorrow that you even had the audacity to fuck outside, shamelessly yearning for those shallow thrusts of his hips smacking against your plush ass that would drive you into absolute madness with unfaltering greed and begs to feel him even quicker, better and finer, his cock rolling in and out of your wet cunt and sending tingles down your spine, your legs wobbly and your erected nipples harshly brushing against the cold wall.

𖧡 — VENTI

there was a sonata playing in your head on repeat, and at first— you wonder where it came from, then remember that you must've picked it up during the past hours of drowning yourself in booze together with venti happily joining you— and everything started out pretty innocent, in fact, you never really seemed to have looked at him for much longer than two seconds, aside from joyfully listening and humming along to his songs whenever he performed at the angels share.

groaning deeply, venti sloppily kisses your lips while fisting his semi hard erection into the little tunnel of his palm— and again, you curse yourself that you have never admired him from up close, despite the fact that your own vision was blurry, your head slightly spinning as you watch every curve and ridge of venti's solid abs tense and let go in tune with his cock rutting into his hand.

although he too, lets his eyes follow down your body and looks at your glossed up folds drenched in your own slick, your legs parted so he could settle himself in between, "I bet you're so soft," venti slurrs happily, moving forward to roll the leaking tip of his cock across your folds as you flinch at the feeling, pulling out a strangled sound that scratched over the back of your throat.

"you know," he starts, shamelessly nudging his tip over your fluttering hole— so shameless, in fact that you're wondering if it was just the alcohol making him exceptionally confident right now or if he's always like that, taking into consideration that the bard was treating himself to quite the amount of liquor day by day.

"i will admit... i never had the guts to speak to you," he cackles, practically admitting that he was harboring at least something for you, which, truthfully made you let out a surprised gasp— although you haven't thought about venti in such ways before, you were finding yourself drawn to him for whatever reason, it's almost like something divine would pull you to him whenever he performed songs that you considered your favorites.

"you— uh, really?" you breathe and swallow hard, and next thing you know he slides himself in without warning, huffing out a strangled groan as your wet warmth instantly envelopes around his shaft, rolling his hips all the way inside so he could grind against your neglected clit.

"venti!" you whine, "don't just— do that!" bucking your hips as he drapes his body on top of yours, your slick oozing out and wrapping around his shaft. but he grins slyly at you, slamming his dripping length into you as your wet heat clung onto him, your arms folded around his chest so you could whine and sob into his neck.

"me? do what?" feigning innocence, he reaches up to squeeze one breast, and the sight of you enjoying how he pumps his thickness into you was intoxicating, so erotic that he violently twitches inside your tight hole.

"oh, silly!" he continues, "you're so cute, with your mouth open, looking all desperate!" and before you can even answer to that, he pulls you in for a sloppy kiss, his harsh thrusts making you moan into his mouth as he skillfully inches back and forth your tight cunt.

©2023 anantaru's kinktober do not repost, copy, translate, modify

[whateversawesome]

Spy x Family Chapter 97: An Old Love Story

Okay, say it with me: FOIL!

You can see it too, right? Looks like Martha x Henry (Henderson)'s story is a foil of Twilight and Yor's story.

Henderson was in Twilight's place; the smart, lonely young man so focused on his ideals that he was blind about who was in front of him and his very own feelings.

Martha was in Yor's place, the strong and graceful girl too young and inexperienced to know her own heart and that she was in love.

This is exactly what's happening with Twiyor, the main couple of the story, and I think we may get to see one of the possible endings for our beloved Twiyor through Martha and Henderson story.

Now, what do we know about these two 🤔...

We know that Henry Henderson has a daughter and a son-in-law. It was mentioned he writes to them, but there was no mention of his wife. This leads me to believe that:

His wife is no longer alive.

He lives with his wife, so there's no reason for him to write to her.

He is divorced.

So, with this information we still can't know what's the current relationship between Martha and Henry, but we can take a guess 😉

From the way the story is being told, it almost feels like it's a semi-tragic love story, doesn't it? We can almost assume that they didn't end up together...or did they?

Theory one: Yup, everyone is right and Martha and Henderson eventually went their separate ways for reasons we'll probably get to know in the next couple of chapters.

If this theory is right, I think it's beautiful that they are getting a second chance 💖They certainly look more mature, confident, and calm (also elegant!). I love the way they look at each other, so much trust and love 😌

Theory two: I know this one is a long shot (and Henderson just said in that panel that "She is merely and old friend") but maybe...they're actually married. Why am I so bold to even consider that possibility?! Well, there's this panel:

The matron is clearly teasing Master Henderson, don't you agree? If she does it, it's because she knows something. Either she knows that there was something between those two in their youth or she knows they are married. I don't know, but they way she said the word "partner" and the fact that Master Henderson is married made me think that Martha is his wife. I know, I know...it's a remote possibility, but you have to remember that marriage is mentioned a lot through different characters and couples during the story, so maybe those two were actually married. (But, it's quite possible it's theory one).

Other things to consider...

How long have Ostania and Westalis been at war?

My guess is that we're talking about two different wars between the same countries; very much like WWI and WWII, where there was a brief period of peace before a second conflict. So, probably the first war started while Henderson was in his 20s and the second war started when he was in his 40s (and Twilight was a kid).

It makes a lot of sense that now they're in a period of "Cold War", just like in real life.

The Garden

I am convinced that the Garden is involved in this. I've talked about this before (read it here). After this chapter, I still think the Garden is going to pop up. Want some evidence?

Do you recognize this guy?

That's right 😏 That's Matthew McMahon. What is he doing there? Too much of a coincidence, don't you think?

And also the way this is phrased:

Odd that there was a mention of the word Garden, isn't it? And the fact that the whole story between those two takes place in a garden...��

In addition to that, in a previous chapter, Twilight observes how Martha moves like a soldier. Franky mentioned earlier that Garden people are like soldiers. And the Garden has a history of recruiting young skilled/strong people, like Yor. Things keep adding up.

The Consequences of War

This is a prevalent theme throughout the whole SxF universe: how war (violence, intolerance, manipulation of information, propaganda, politics) has affected the life of all the characters.

No matter their background, nationality or education, we've seen it again and again with most of the characters big or small, like Twilight, Franky, Sylvia, Millie, and now we're about to see it with characters from an older generation like Martha and Henderson.

My guess is that this won't be the last time and this pattern will continue while the story lasts. I think what the story is trying to show us is how war is seen by some (politicians and men in power like Desmond) as a natural, inevitable course of action, but at the same time how brutal the consequences are in the smallest stories. That's one of the things that is truly remarkable about SxF.

[theblobmaster]

just had a dickjay soulmates idea (popped up while i was reading filthy smut and dick was being sappy during it)

but! soulmate au where your soulmate mark/counter/whatever you can think of to indicate doesn't appear until your soulmate is born.

so if you're the oldest in the pair you are born without it, if you're the youngest you're born with it.

back to dick and jason. what if, what if, when jason first comes to the manor none of them have gotten a soulmark yet.

dick is beginning to feel slightly uncomfortable with how big of an age difference he's going to have with his soulmate. he's 17 by now and they still haven't been born.

jason has been too preoccupied with surviving for so long that he's halfway convinced himself that he just doesn't have a soulmate and that's why he doesn't have a soulmate yet. but he's also 12 so there's still some time before it gets worrying..

when jason dies, he's still without a mark and so is dick.

dick has also given up on ever getting a soulmark, and considers even if he does get a soulmark to never pursue anything because he's 20 by now and it'd just feel wrong.

jason wakes up in his coffin, digs his way out, tumbles into the street, get hit by a truck, is in a coma for a year, lives a few months on the street without any of his memories, gets picked up by talia and is there for a while before getting pushed into the lazaurus pit.

he never checked to see if he had a soulmark in the period of time, but doctors did, talia did and there was nothing.

but when he resurfaces from the glowing pool suddenly there's a soulmark on him. big and obvious and while he doesn't notice in the beginning, talia does.

dick's 22 when he finally gets a soulmark. 22 and it shocks him. he had been sure he wouldn't get one at this point. but right there on his skin is a soulmark now. so he's 22 years older than his soulmate. that's something he eventually will have to deal with, but later. when he meets them, if he meets them.

when jason finally gets his wits about him, he notices the soulmark. but he doesn't know when it came, there's two years he doesn't remember anything from. so his soulmate could be anything from 15 to 17 years younger than him. not that it matters, he doesn't plan on sticking around to find them.

and then insert plot of them figuring out they're soulmates somehow.

just dick and jason being soulmates but only after jason comes back to life, only after lazaurus has had its fingers on jason's soul. because while jason is still jason, something changed and that is what makes the difference.

also dick being so fucking relieved when they figure it out,

"you're not 22 years younger than me"

"no shit dickiebird"

"holy shit, you're not 22 years younger than me"

"we've established that by now"

"no, you don't understand. you're not 22 years younger than me"

"cool, when you're done processing that, find me. i have shit to do."

[wonuumelody]

“ Boyfriend serie ” ; Wonwoo as your bf

pairing: seventeen wonwoo x fem!reader genre: fluff, bf thoughts warning(s): use of pet name

The sweetest

Have a soft spot for you :(

Slow days with him

As said earlier, days with him are slow ans soft. Waking up when the sun is shining and drinking tea in the living room while silently reading books, while sitting next to each other.

He know when you are stressed and always do something to help you like holding your hands or talking to you

If you are a glasses girlie he will always give you his microfiber cloth after using it so you can wipe your own glasses!

Night drive with him

Will drive you to a secluded place (in the mountains for example) where you can look at the stars and listen to music while holding hands

Not really into PDA but will always play with your hands and fingers when nobody is around

Even though he's not into PDA he always make everyone notice or remember that you are his

The way he look at you

The eyes don't lie chico, the eyes

Look at you with so much love and respect in his eyes. His eyes are filled with all his love and affection for you

He also got the lovely smile, he look a little bit stupid when you look at him first but it's okay, he is so much in love with you!!

Always take pictures of you!

You are his muse for real

The best model he ever could dream about

Have a picture of you in his wallet to bring him chance

When he is awake before you and have to leave he always leave some cute notes on the kitchen so when you wake up you don't feel alone

Cute notes like "hi baby, have a nice day and don't forget to eat! ♡" or "my lovely girlfriend is still asleep but I have to leave, you looked cute tho, I love you ♡" and "call me when you wake up"

So so kind with you and your family and friends

Now let's talk about video games.

Try to play at night after you're asleep so he doesn't bother you

When he is playing during the day, he's careful to have one ear free to hear you if you call him even though you don't because you know he loves to play

Want you to play with him!

Made a little Minecraft house for both of you with a lot of cats and flowers everywhere

Also made a Sims house for you where you guys have 3 kids and animals

Made a whole animal crossing world dedicated to you, this guy is so in love

Basically made you houses in every game he could so he can show you what he did with his proud grin on his face

Really caring for you, always ask you how you feel, especially when you are sick or have your periods so he can buy you something to eat or drink

He is a really lovely man when you are alone, really clingy and childish around you

____________________________________________________________

Hi guys! I hope you enjoyed reading this <3 I was so so inspired by wonu, I'm already thinking of doing a part 2 of this one!

Tell me if you notice any Mistakes or inconsistencies. Which member do you want next for the svt bf serie? Tell me!

[lassieposting]

Concept:

Post-tadpole, Tav offers to help Astarion find a way to walk in the sun again, and she starts by going to different libraries and repositories and archives around the city to look for books that might be relevant. Astarion, obviously, has to stay in the rental room with the shutters closed during the daytime, so he can't come with her.

At some point, this takes her up to the posh part of the city, where the fancy ✨ scholarly ✨ archive is. She remembers most of the walk - it's not too far from the graveyard Astarion took her to, in the neighbourhood where he once used to live.

And like, it's never actually occurred to her that he could still have Actual Blood Relatives still living? It's not a topic she's ever thought to raise with him. But she has to sign in and out of the archive, and she just happens to notice the name three or four lines above hers: an initial and a surname she recognises.

Ancunín.

The same name from Astarion's gravestone.

A parent? A sibling?

A niece or nephew Astarion has never even met?

Thus begins a secondary quest of trying to reunite a broken family. Astarion is willing enough to talk about the few memories he still has of the thirty-nine years he had with his family before turning - a drop in the ocean compared to the 200 years spent suffering under Cazador - but he shuts down when she nudges him towards the likelihood that Mr & Mrs Ancunín are still alive. He retreats back behind the selfish, catty survivalist he was when she first met him and claims he has no interest in ever reconnecting. The pain in every clipped syllable says drop it, so she does.

But then he asks her, very quietly, several days later, what the initial was. He doesn't really react when she tells him - there's no obvious recognition, and he doesn't ask any follow-up questions or try to discuss it further. He just goes back to his book. She watches him out of the corner of her eye though, as she skim-reads her own giant tome of magical artifacts. A very long time goes by before she sees him turn a page.

For a good long while, the family issue gets put firmly on the back burner. They have other shit going on. Sometimes, it's following promising leads on a possible workaround for Astarion's sunlight allergy. Other times, it's the kind of ugly, ragged-edged breakdown that so often follows a period of relative safety and stability after a major trauma. He's been running in survival mode for two centuries, and now he's finally starting to feel secure enough for the rest of his mind to come back online, and all the trauma he couldn't handle at the time, all the pain and fear and tangled emotions survival mode was protecting him from, is catching up to him. During those sporadic episodes, trying to keep him from falling apart is her top priority and, well, time gets away from them and by the time he brings up his parents again, months or more have gone by, and they have a fairly good idea of what artifact of daywalking they need to find.

By the time it comes to actually meeting with them, still more months have passed, and they have already found it.

It's horrible, and heartwarming, and heartbreaking, and healing, and hurting, and so many other conflicting things that for a while - a long while - Tav doesn't know whether she actually did the right thing encouraging him to reach out to long-lost loved ones. It's a mess of moments that makes her heart ache for a dozen reasons. She finds out that Astarion looks most like his mother, but has his father's nose. She holds him for hours while he shakes and sobs into her shoulder because they never even left the city, they were here the whole time, and they never found him - and he's so angry and full of grief he doesn't know what to do with himself. She accompanies him to the home he was raised in, and the once-familiar surroundings jog memories he thought lost for good - he's glassy-eyed, recounting them to her, but she's fairly sure it's the good kind of glassy-eyed, so she doesn't mention it. She tries to make conversation at family dinner while he stares at his hands in his lap, dissociated, looking even more uncomfortable than she feels, utterly lost in a world that once fit him like a glove. There are a lot of feelings to try and mediate. They are all hurt, all damaged, all afraid, all looking for the ghost of a loved one in the face of a stranger.

But, eventually, there is a day where she overhears Astarion having a conversation with his father, and he sounds like himself - not the persona he puts on in public - and his father laughs at something he says in a way that's entertained rather than awkward. There is a day where his mother reaches out and he doesn't shake his head or step away - he lets her hug him goodbye. They have not slipped back into the graves they crawled out of in each other's lives - they are all very different people now - but they are learning new ways to fit together, and he seems to be pleased about it.

So she thinks, yeah, it was worth it.

[deusvervewrites]

The First Line

A lot of people out there will tell you that the first line of a novel is the most important. I've seen the wisdom that the first line must grab the readers attention, be some kind of a "hook" to draw them in deeper, or to tonally reflect the main themes. That the first line needs to throw the reader into the thick of it!

But how true is that really? It's been nagging me for a while now as someone who has started more fics than I've completed.

Out of curiosity, I grabbed a handful of my favorite novels and compiled their first lines.

"There are many legends about my mother." Daughter of the Moon Goddess, Sue Lynn Tan

This line doesn't really establish much about the plot of this book. Not the narrator's name, goal, conflict, or even the setting. We can make some inferences from the existence of legends around someone, but 'legendary' only narrows anything down because of the book's title. It is, however, indicative of the narration style and the novel's prose.

"Mary Jekyll stared down at her mother's coffin." The Strange Case of the Alchemist's Daughter, Theodora Cross

This line puts us right into a scene. Some real In Medias Res. Except... it's not really an action scene. It's a somber affair. And from Mary's staring, it's safe to say she has some heavy thoughts on the matter.

We can also make some assumptions from the wording choice. Looking down at the coffin suggests that she is standing over it, so we know at once this takes place during the funeral.

Interestingly--and I'm going to break my soft rule of not addressing the rest of the text here--this line does not allude to the novel's framing device.

"The temperature of the room dropped fast." Bartimaeus: The Amulet of Samarkand, Jonathan Stroud

This is another opening that's setting a scene instead of trying to introduce us to the cast or conflict, or even to the setting. Why is it getting colder? We can infer from the fact that the temperature is dropping fast that this probably isn't a good thing or at least not a normal thing.

"I've seen Steelheart bleed." Steelheart, Brandon Sanderson

This line fascinates me. It says a lot and, at the same time, very little. We know that someone named Steelheart exists, obviously. However, the narrator is giving gravitas to the sight of them bleeding. So we've already learned that Steelheart doesn't bleed very often, and seeing it was worth remembering. But who Steelheart is and why the narrator cares? Nothing in this line indicates that.

"Kendra stared out the side window of the SUV, watching foliage blur past." Fablehaven, Brandon Mull

I think this is the most relatable opening line I have listed here, since I can instantly in my mind picture the expression on Kendra's face knowing nothing else about her, or where she's going. We can guess she's probably not happy to be going there since she's staring out the window with what I would assume to be boredom. That's some conflict there. But, like, extremely minor conflict.

"The tired old carriage, pulled by two tired old horses, rumbled onto the wharf, its creaky wheels bumpety-bumping on the uneven planks, waking Peter from his restless slumber." Peter and the Starcatchers, Dave Barry and Ridley Pearson

Well this sentence rambled on a bit didn't it? But it's very evocative. It tells us very little about the story (beyond Peter's name) but it sets the scene beautifully. Not only is it evocative of the scenery, but the time period (from the horse-drawn carriage) and the tone as well. We also know that Peter wasn't sleeping very well, which indicates that he's either anxious about something or that sleeping in this carriage wasn't very easy. Or both.

"In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit." J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit

This is the kind of line that would get me murdered by a lot of writing advice that I've seen over the years. This line tells you next to nothing, not even whether or not its weird for hobbits to live in holes. What this line does do is ease us into the narration style that Tolkien employs, which is generally slow and descriptive.

Okay...?

So what was the point of all of that?

Well, this experiment has solidified my opinion on something. As I said, I've been having thoughts about opening lines, but I think that the actual first line of the book is not as important as the first scene of the book. None of these lines out of context are that good. Sure, The Hobbit is iconic, but that's not because that line itself is phenomenal. It's practically "Once Upon A Time."

But it works for the scene.

The first scene is far more interesting to me than the first line. I'm not so impatient that if the first line fails to captivate me I'll toss the book aside. And I know that's true for other people because H. Bomberguy posted a four-hour video on plagiarism and we all watched it.

What this means, I think, is that we don't need to treat our audience as if we're in an arms race against their dwindling attention spans as if we'll lose them forever to TikTok if the first sentence isn't the pinnacle of literature.

People will give a work a chance. That's what the summary is for; to tell people if they'll like it so they can know to give it a try.

If you were afraid to write, or to share your writing, because you didn't think the first line was good enough... I don't think that matters. I think that people won't hate it. Won't turn up their noses in disgust.

[vashtijoy]

Just saw your recent reblog, I'm so sorry if you get asked this a lot--is the cut post-game location where Akechi is not a rehab?

Wow, I've just been through my index and it doesn't seem I've ever posted about this—so thank you for asking! Note that this is (hopefully) PART ONE of a two-part post; this is way overlong without me getting into my thoughts about this scene.

The scene we're talking about is a deleted scene where Akechi (offscreen, and clearly alive) is talking to two employees (onscreen), in what looks like a bathhouse. They gossip about his plans for the future, until he arrives in person to catch them out and put some things on record.

Here's the scene, with my translation. (page down for the text). Pay attention to how the, uh, man standing in the bath knows Akechi is outside all along, while the woman who comes in to gossip does not.

There are a lot of theories about this scene—where is it happening? when does it happen? what purpose does it serve?—not least because there are several different translations floating around. But we can tell quite a bit from the text. Quick summary, since this is a post and a half already:

The place Akechi checks in on 12/24, per this deleted scene, is not a rehab or hotel or hospital, but a type of refuge called a kakekomidera.

This scene takes place (probably) after school on 2/10, as the last of the string of confidant interventions between 2/4 and 2/13. As such, it represents the thing Akechi is doing for Joker to get him out of detention.

Let's take a look.

firstly, what is this place?

People have variously described the bathhouse in this scene as a rehab (no), a hotel or ryokan (no), a hospital (no) and a mental hospital (def Not). So what is it?

The scene tells us exactly what it is:

Gossipy Employee ⋯まあここは、俺らもそうだけど、スネに傷あ��モンの駆け込み寺だ。 ... maa koko wa, orera mo sou da kedo, sune ni kizu aru mon no kakekomidera da [lit. well, this place is a kakekomidera for people with a guilty conscience, like us.]

what is a kakekomidera?

A 寺 tera is a Buddhist temple; it's the ji at the end of a lot of temple names. 駆け込む kakekomu means to seek refuge somewhere. So a kakekomidera is a temple where you seek refuge.

And that is the place Akechi has taken himself to: it's a refuge. It's a shelter, like a domestic violence shelter—somewhere you go when you're at the end of your rope, with nowhere to turn; when you're in danger. Somewhere he stayed as a child—with his mother, who was likewise in a perilous and vulnerable situation. Where he knows there are people who will take him in, no questions asked, after everything he's done. Who might even remember him.

Historically, a kakekomidera (like the one in the link) was a place women could go if their husbands were abusive; they entered religious service, and subsequently accessed divorce: "Temple records show that, during the Tokugawa period alone"—that's 1603–1857, often also called the Edo period—"an estimated 2,000 women sought shelter there."

Services called kakekomidera still exist today. They are often in temples—if you can stop by to talk to a monk about your problems and look for solutions, that's a kakekomidera. Online helpdesks are often called kakekomidera—you can look up a "Desktop Publishing kakekomidera" site, for instance.

[more below the cut...]

English sources are usually all referencing the same organisation, Gen Hidemori's Nippon Kakekomidera in Shinjuku:

Gen opens the doors of his organization to all who are in dire straits, regardless of age, gender, income, or social status. Visitors to the office located in Tokyo’s infamous Kabukichō red-light district seek respite from domestic violence, pressing debt, and trouble with organized crime groups. Gen says he even sees gang members looking to make a clean break from the criminal underworld.

Does a kakekomidera do rehab-like things sometimes? Sure. They act as halfway houses for people leaving prison. They help people work through problems in their lives. But in English, a "rehab" is focused on rehabilitating people—after addiction, after illness or injury, after prison, during old age—and that is not what I think we should be picturing here.

I have not been able to track down a residential one like the one in the game, but hey, it's fiction. I wouldn't want to say, though, that they don't exist—don't forget the historical kakekomidera, where you entered service and stayed until you were ready to leave. Though this doesn't appear to be any sort of religious setting, I suspect it's not for nothing that Akechi is doing menial work around the place.

next, when does this scene take place?

The game code allows us to lock this scene almost down to the hour. This will get a little technical at points, so bear with me. You can easily skim past most of this.

Every event in P5 and P5R is numbered. They have two numbers: a major number, identifying the event, and a minor number, identifying part of the event. (You can get more granular than this, identifying individual lines of the script, but that's beyond our scope here.)

This deleted event of Akechi's is numbered E470_810. That is, it has a major number (identifying the event) of 470, and a minor number (identifying part of event 470) of 810.

what is event 470?

Event 470 is the collection of events that happen after Joker enters detention—that is, on 12/24 with Sae in vanilla, or on 2/4 after Maruki's boss fight in Royal.

You can probably see where this is going. Here's the list of events in event 470:

E470_001—[vanilla only] the sad Christmas Day meeting after Joker is arrested, where the PTs determine that this is super unfair and they should do something about it;

E470_101—[vanilla only] Joker's interrogation while detained;

E470_201—Sojiro's intervention after Joker's arrest;

E470_211—Takemi's intervention after Joker's arrest;

E470_301—Kawakami's intervention after Joker's arrest;

E470_311—Iwai's intervention after Joker's arrest;

E470_401—Mishima's intervention after Joker's arrest;

E470_411—Chihaya's intervention after Joker's arrest;

E470_501—Ohya's intervention after Joker's arrest;

E470_511—Yoshida's intervention after Joker's arrest;

E470_601—Shinya's intervention after Joker's arrest;

E470_611—Hifumi's intervention after Joker's arrest;

E470_701—Makoto's intervention after Joker's arrest;

E470_711—Sumire's intervention after Joker's arrest;

E470_810—Akechi's intervention after Joker's arrest.

The next event after that is E471_001, which is Sae meeting Joker in detention for his release on 2/13.

What does this list tell us? Well, mainly, this deleted scene of Akechi's, E470_810, was intended to play along with all those others up there; they're the same event, with the same major number, 470. It's not some random scene we can know nothing about; it has a context, and that context is that Akechi, just like the others, is working to get Joker out of detention. If this scene had been left in, it would have played along with all the other max-rank confidant scenes prior to 2/13.

You might have noticed that Akechi's scene is not quite grouped with the others—there is no E470_801, when the other confidant scenes move cleanly through Ex_x01 to Ex_x11 to Ex_x01 and so on. Whether that's because there's a missing event (storyboarded but never written?) or because he's not quite working with the others, or perhaps because it would have played out of sequence, like Makoto's (numbered last, originally, even though it played first)—we can't tell.

I did say we could lock this scene down almost to the hour, and that brings us to something called the scheduler:

where is event 470 in the scheduler? what is the scheduler?

The scheduler is a piece of code that tells the game engine what events to play on what day. If you want to know what triggers an event to play, the scheduler is a good first stop.

It's split into one file per month (SCHEDULER_04.BF through SCHEDULER_03.BF), and each month is split into a number of functions per day. Usually two functions play in the morning (early and mid-morning?) and five in the PM slot, which we can identify from the events that happen during them:

PM slot A—lunchtime. Includes e.g. the deleted lunch events;

PM slot B—midafternoon. Includes e.g. the chat events during the afternoon lesson;

PM slot C—after school. Includes e.g. Mishima's after-school confidant unlock in your homeroom;

PM slot D—evening. Includes e.g. Sae and Makoto's conversation over dinner before the hot pot party;

PM slot E—bed. Includes e.g. Joker's excursions to the Velvet Room.

In vanilla, the clock is visible for these confidant events, so we can see time passing; the events are also spread more widely through the day. In Royal, though, the clock is disabled for them, probably because they're so much closer together. But whether you consider these event times binding or not, we can still see exactly when they are—because the scheduler tells us so:

Makoto (E470_701)—2/5 (Royal), 1/3 (vanilla), midafternoon;

Sojiro (E470_201)—2/5 (Royal), 1/5 (vanilla), midafternoon;

Takemi (E470_211)—2/6 after school (Royal), 1/7 midafternoon (vanilla);

Kawakami (E470_301)—2/6 (Royal), 1/10 (vanilla), after school;

Iwai (E470_315)—2/7 after school (Royal only); Iwai (E470_311)—1/13 after school (vanilla only);

Mishima (E470_401)—2/7 (Royal), 1/14 (vanilla), after school;

Chihaya (E470_411)—2/8 (Royal), 1/16 (vanilla), after school;

Ohya (E470_501)—2/8 after school (Royal), 1/18 evening (vanilla);

Yoshida (E470_511)—2/9 after school (Royal), 1/22 midafternoon (vanilla);

Shinya (E470_601)—2/9 (Royal), 1/28 (vanilla), midafternoon;

Hifumi (E470_611)—2/9 (Royal), 1/31 (vanilla), after school;

Sumire (E470_711)—2/10 after school (Royal only).

Lastly, Sae always breaks Joker out during the midafternoon slot on 2/13, in both Royal and vanilla, just before Valentine's Day.

Is there anything notable in this huge swathe of data?

Three confidants changed their event slot in Royal, presumably to fit multiple events into one function on the same day: Takemi moved from midafternoon in vanilla to after school in Royal, Ohya moved from the evening slot to after school, and Yoshida moved from midafternoon to after school.

Iwai has two minor numbers, because he has two slightly different events—vanilla Iwai says "Make sure the guys in lock-up know not to let anyone lay a damn finger on him", while Royal Iwai does not!

Why was this line cut from Royal? Was Joker somehow in less danger in juvie? Well... vanilla places a lot more emphasis on Joker's detention. Rather than Akechi showing up on 12/24, Sae has a long digression about juvenile hall, and how awful it will be, and the consequences for Joker and his friends. Joker gets interrogated in detention and so on.

So maybe this line was there to build suspense, in vanilla—whereas in Royal, there's just no need, because everything has already happened.

what about akechi

OKAY SO. Getting back to the important stuff, what does all of that tell us about Akechi's deleted scene? Well, it lets us date it.

This scene does not appear to exist in vanilla, when Akechi is pretty definitively ?dead in January and February. It was added with Sumire's, for Royal—and then deleted from the scheduler, so that it's out of game. And in Royal, two events play every day—except on 2/10.

Only Sumire's event plays on 2/10. So we can stake a pretty good guess here that Akechi's event would have been paired with Sumire's event, the other Royal Trio event, in that after school time slot on 2/10.

Maybe it would have played on 2/11 or 2/12. Maybe it would have been like Makoto's event, and jumped out of the list to play elsewhen. But given that it's a reveal, I think it almost certainly would have played last (as its position in the event list suggests)—and 2/10 with Sumire seems like a good place for it.

lastly, what even is this scene

I'm attaching my translation of the scene beneath the cut, since it's been sitting in my Tumblr drafts forever and a day. Obviously this is hugely subject to error and not likely to be entirely correct—nonetheless, enjoy.

* * *

[The Prurient Employee walks in and addresses the Gossipy Employee, who is staring down at the floor.]

Prurient Employee 聞いた? kiita? Did you hear the news?

Gossipy Employee ああ⋯ aa... I did.

[He turns to her, glancing outside at what appears to be nothing in particular.]

Gossipy Employee さっき、本人から聞いたよ。 sakki, honnin kara kiita yo I just got it from him face to face.

Gossipy Employee 来たばっかだってのに、来月で辞めるって話だろう? kita bakka datte no ni, raigetsu de yameru tte hanashi darou? People were saying he's leaving next month, right? Even though he only just got here.

Prurient Employee あの子まだ、ちっちゃかったときよね?お母さんと一緒に出てって何年ぶり⋯? ano ko mada, chicchakatta toki yo ne? okaasan to issho ni dete tte nannen buri...? That kid was tiny when he left with his mother, wasn’t he? How many years has it been?…

Prurient Employee イケメンになって帰ってきた~って、うちら盛り上がってたのに。 ikemen ni natte kaette kita~tte, uchira moriagatteta no ni We were so excited, he'd just come back all grown-up and handsome, and now...

Gossipy Employee ここのこと覚えといてくれてたのは嬉しかったよな。 koko no koto oboetoite kureteta no wa ureshikatta yo na At least he still remembered he could come here, though.

Gossipy Employee ⋯まあここは、俺らもそうだけど、スネに傷あるモンの駆け込み寺だ。 ... maa koko wa, orera mo sou da kedo, sune ni kizu aru mon no kakekomidera da That's what this place is for. To shelter people like us, who have a past they can't forget.

Gossipy Employee それに昔よしみってんなら、困ってたら匿うのは当然だよ。 sore ni mukashi yoshimi tte n nara, komattetara kakumau no wa touzen da yo Especially someone we’ve known for so long. As if we wouldn’t hide him when he needed it.

Prurient Employee 『東京でやり残したことがある』って理由らしいわよ。 "toukyou de yarinokoshita koto ga aru" tte riyuu rashii wa yo I heard he said he has "unfinished business in Tokyo."

Gossipy Employee そんなことまで知ってるの。 sonna koto made shitteru no You really do know it all, don't you.

Prurient Employee ⋯ねえ。 ...nee Tell me, though...

Prurient Employee やり残したことって、やっぱりコレ関係? yarinokoshita koto tte, yappari kore kankei? This "unfinished business" of his—that’s what all this is about, right?

[Akechi speaks, offscreen.]

Young Man's Voice やめてくださいよ。妙な詮索。 yamete kudasai yo. myouna sensaku I wish you’d keep your nose out of my affairs.

[The Prurient Employee goes !, realising he was there all along.]

Prurient Employee いるなら言ってよ⋯~ iru nara itte yo...~ Tell me, then, if you're right there!

Gossipy Employee 東京で世話になったヤツがいるんだと。 toukyou de sewa ni natta yatsu ga iru n da to He did say there was someone who helped him out in Tokyo.

Gossipy Employee そいつに貸しを作りに行くんだ。 soitsu ni kashi o tsukuri ni iku n da So he's going back because he owes him.

Gossipy Employee なあ? naa? Right?

Young Man's Voice 借り返して辞めるつもりですから。 karikaeshite yameru tsumori desu kara Don't worry, I’ll clear my debts here before I leave.

Young Man's Voice 去年の⋯イヴ? アポ無しで来た僕を何も言わず受けれてくれた分と⋯ kyonen no... ibu? aponashi de kita boku o nani mo iwazu ukerete kureta bun to... For taking me in last year… on Christmas Eve, was it? Without an appointment. Without asking questions.

Young Man's Voice それと昔、母がお世話になった分はね。 sore to mukashi, haha ga o-sewa ni natta bun wa ne And for everything you did for my mother.

Prurient Employee それにしても貸しを作りに⋯なんて、あんたらしいね。 sore ni shite mo kashi o tsukuri ni... nante, anta rashii ne Never mind that. To go to these lengths just because you owe somebody… No, I guess that’s you all over, isn’t it.

Young Man's Voice 思ったとおりにいけば、あいつとあいつと仲間⋯ omotta toori ni ikeba, aitsu to aitsu to nakama... If it comes off, then that guy and his friends will live out their lives…

Young Man's Voice 一生、僕に⋯感謝するんです。 issei, boku ni... kansha suru n desu …Well, they’ll owe me their thanks forever.

[The two employees go ?]

Young Man's Voice 軒先、掃除してきますね。 nokisaki, souji shite kimasu ne I’m going to sweep up outside.

* * *

revision history

Click here for the latest version.

v1.0 (2023/12/03)—first posted.

[lastwave]

Harry Du Bois, the skills + DID/OSDD coding

a compilation of most of my thoughts on harry as a system (note: i am system im not just like. pulling stuff out my ass)

1. Structural Dissociation Theory crash course

so for this point i'm going to give you a crash course structural dissociation theory (do not use me as a source for ur knowledge on it this is very like. base level and just to establish context)

structural dissociation states that we all start as multiple different facets, and that as we grow up, these facets all fuse into a cohesive personality. however, in DID/OSDD, ongoing trauma proves it safer to NOT fuse these facets and instead develop dissociative and amnestic barriers between them to varying degrees. these facets cope by developing into individual personalities, and if traumatic events persist, the brain may split more personalities to try and cope with this. this gives us two bits of information that i'm going to use throughout this

1. there is no "original", just alters that host for long periods of time and/or identify with the body the most

2. amnestic & dissociative barriers are fluid. in times of rest, these barriers may start to come down between some alters, but not necessarily all.

**NOTE: these are not hard and fast rules and vary from system to system. it's also vastly different if you have Polyfrag DID or Complex DID. since I don't hc Harry as polyfrag or complex tho, i'm not gonna get into that

2. Harry (the system)

so it's pretty easy to establish that harry has a good handful of childhood trauma. being born in a military hospital + town and growing up there means he probably saw and/or heard a lot of death and sickness. we also know his father left based on the logic passive in the measurehead conversation

we also know from the reaction speed passive when you find out your name that harry was born in a time all these were concerns. most likely, hunger, considering how through the game hunger + eating is an undertone w/ harry

we also have the klaasje half-light passive implying that harry's been raped (might not have occurred during childhood, but still a contributing factor to trauma)

my point being bro has enough childhood trauma and then some to create a system.

we also see a LOT of amnestic barriers between harry and the rest of the skills. besides the obvious not remembering anything, we see the skills remembering things that harry doesn't.

for example, EChem remembers that harry took speed some point recently, while harry himself doesn't

we also see that the skills have distinct personalities and opinions separate from each other. shit we've got a communist (rhetoric) and a fascist (endurance) living in the same fucking body. half light is immediately suspicious of everyone and everything while empathy tries to understand everyone even to their own detriment. and volition and echem need a whole post of their own. thats some pretty strong dissociative barriers

3. Harry (the alter)

to be quite honest with you i think harry as we, the audience, know him is a brand new split, an introject* of an old host that has either fused with another alter or gone dormant. he's trying to fill a different harry du bois's shoes- someone he is fundamentally similar to, but is, at his core, not

*Definition from did-research.org: Introjects are alters that are based off of an outside person or figure. Introjects may or may not see themselves as the individual that they represent.

knowing nothing about yourself, even what you look like, is a common feeling for new splits (in our experience). with the high amnestic barriers separating harry from the rest of the system, it makes sense that the first time he is conscious he is totally lost about his own identity, where he lives, or what his occupation even is.

losing facts about basic reality is probably a dissociative response. things the brain knows (see encyclopedia filling in gaps once given a prompt about something like Fillipe the Conquerer) but doesn't want the new host to know for fear of not being able to function.

4. Certain Alters with Functions

some of the skills fall into alter "archetypes" (not all alters will, even in like. real life systems) and im just gonna list them out here:

ones with subtextual backing:

Volition: Caretaker + Apparent Normal Part

Half-Light: trauma holder

Electro-Chemistry: symptom + trauma holder

Authority: protector

Logic: apparent normal part

ones that are just my headcanons:

Interfacing: little

Endurance: ex-persecutor

Inland Empire: ex-caretaker

here ends my post of articulate thoughts, if u have any like. follow up questions feel free to shoot me an ask. might take me a minute tho

[niefics]

01 | Confrontation

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ — SYNOPSIS : Actions comes with consequences, as reader has to live with her dumb decisions as she finds out she’s pregnant by a one night stand.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ — WARNINGS : Cursing, being pregnant ??, angst, asked to abort, jay is cold ??

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ — WORD COUNT : 1k

Masterlist — next

You sighed deeply, standing in front of the door of someone you slept with drunkenly. Biting your lip you knocked. This wasn't want you expected, this isn't what you wanted to happen the way it did but you had to live with it, at least come to terms about it and tell him.

Your knocked at the door of the nice apartment you were at, holding your purse as you waited for an answer. Opening to see a tall figure with a straight face. "You came to talk right ?" Jay spoke, no reaction, you hummed anxiously, as he moved to the side to let you into his nice apartment.

You took your shoes off as you walked in sitting down on the couch in his nice living room. "Do you want any water ?" He asked emotionlessly, even though he's showing little to no emotion he still is trying to show some type of respect for his guest since he doesn't know you well, that night you two slept together was a accident. All of it.

From when he gave you his number to talk to you more as soon as you two started conversating in the club, to when he dragged you to his apartment while drunk and needy for you. Neither of you caring about protection, and if anything happened you'd just remember to take a morning after pill .. well you didn't. You were to shocked to be in his apartment to even remember to. Rushing out immediately after waking up.

You shook your head no as you looked into his eyes. "Okay." He spoke sitting down near you but not too close to you to give you space. "Now what did you want to talk to me about ?" He spoke, sitting with his arms rested on his knees as his hands were touching. He looked as if he came from somewhere where he needed to dress formal or business casual.

You sighed, knowing you needed to tell him how you been feeling for the past month or two, you haven't had your period but you've been to busy with work and your personal life to realize, until you felt weird, your breast being sore then normal and had the weirdest cravings, you thought it would be a good idea to check if you were pregnant.

Standing in a isle staring at the multiple pregnancy tests, you start to dissociate anxiety hitting you that you might be pregnant. Especially after the random feelings of sickness before work and even during causing you to call in sick at times and get you in trouble with your boss. You sighed, finally grabbing a box and walking to the front of the store to the cashier where they checked you out. The silence was awkward and achingly loud. You took the recent as soon as your card went through taking the bag and leaving immediately feeling embarrassed for multiple reasons.

As you sat in your bathroom as you looked at the 3 pregnancy tests that were all positive you started to panic. You weren't married, not even dating and what makes it worse is .. it was by a one night fucking stand. "I'm pregnant." You said not even looking at jay, way to embarrassed. Not even wanting to look up at him, you didn't want to raise the child by yourself but you started to grow attached to the baby that was growing in your stomach as you gotten used to the fact that you were pregnant. Jay eyebrows scrunched, his head going back a little looking at you. "What?" He spoke confusion in his tone.

"I'm pregnant, and it's yours."

"You sure ?" You finally looked at him, your mood swings have been kicking your ass a lot recently, and your anger amplified a lot because of it. "Am I sure ? Jay I don't sleep with everyone. If it wasn't for your fucking persuading me to go home with you when we were both drunk we wouldn't be in the predicament would we ?" You spoke, frustration showing in your tone. "How can I be sure that it's mine ?" He spoke snapping back. "Because you're the only person I've slept with in over a year jay." You spoke sighing. The more jay realized that it might actually be his the Orr he realized what this could mean for him and his career. Jay was a son of a rich ceo, often being talked about for his good looks. So if anyone heard about this, this could cause trouble for the company and bad publicity that jay didn't want more need.

"You can't keep it." He mumbled. "What?" You asked confused. "I said, you can't keep it. This would be bad publicity for my company. I don't want to be known as someone who got a random girl pregnant." You sat there silent. Something in you didn't want to no matter what you didn't want to, you weren't pregnant long but the thought of having a child to lay with and tend to made you slightly happy. You shook your head slowly. "I can't .. I don't want to." You spoke. “I’m not doing this just for me, I’m doing this for your own good. This wouldn’t be any good for you either. They would call you names and could possibly cause you to loose your job ruin your life because of that.” He was right, you knew this was a dumb decision a very fucking dumb decision.

“I genially don’t care how they would feel about me, and if you don’t want to be there for my child then so be it.” You spoke frustration taking over you, getting up to get ready to leave. “But I’m not aborting them.” You spoke walking to the door putting your shoes back on. And as you were about to open the door he spoke sighing. “I helped make that child, and I won’t allow you to raise that child by yourself.” He spoke, knowing that wouldn’t be what his dad would want.

He knew if she really did go through with it, he would feel guilty, he couldn’t force her to abort the child they made together no matter how much hate he’d get from the public. And if he can’t get you to abort the child, he’s gonna be there for that boy or girl, even if that means you two aren’t together.

[harryshomebaby]

it's hard to find the right words to say and i truly never thought i'd ever be writing something like this. and i apologize if this doesn't all come out the way i want it to.

i hate that i have to preface this by saying that i was not a fan or a supporter of Liam in recent years and do not condone anything that he did. the victims of his actions still deserve to be heard and find closure that they'll now sadly never see...

but if you were anything like me, Liam Payne was a significant part of who you were growing up. 1 of 5 individuals that we looked up to as role models, and that created some of the online communities we're still a part of today. that built friendships we probably still have to this day.

a mature but loveable boy that we all fell in love with in the very early days of One Direction, or even later. with video diaries, music videos, and behind the scenes clips that shared a glimpse of his personality with us, and tweets that some of us will never forget (it's a snake habitat, turn around!!), we watched him grow up alongside the boys while we were growing up ourselves.

we even had the privelege of seeing a small part of where he grew up and the people who raised him in This is Us and the "Story of my Life" video. we got to know a little bit about his life before One Direction, with small stories and anecdotes from his mother, Karen, and his father, Geoff. we got to see how loved he was by his family, by the band, and by all of the fans that adored him just as much as we did.

i still remember when i first learned about One Direction in 2012 and couldn't tell Liam or Harry apart because their hairstyles were so similar. and the shock the fandom had when he buzzed his head.

we got to see the good in him... even if it was only for a brief moment. five years of a band that carried so many of us through dark periods in our lives and that connected all of us to one another in a way that many of us had never experienced before.

we watched him grow up, live through the prime of his career, and saw the subsequent downfall of who he used to be. after One Direction split up, he opened up about his struggles with addiction during their tours and it was clear that despite what we all saw, it was never as pretty as their management had made the band out to be.

it's completely devastating that he was still struggling with substance abuse in the end. that he was never able to get the help he needed. and i am deeply sorry to all of the people who became victims at his hand. to maya henry who only recently opened up about her relationship to Liam and who is going to receive even more hate than she already has because of this tragedy.

i am sad that he wasn't able to get better. to get sober and attempt to rewrite some of his wrongs. that his addiction caused so much harm to him, but also to so many others. i am sad that he was so deeply troubled in his youth that he turned towards drugs and alcohol, and was never able to truly get his life back. i am sad at what fame did to him at such a young age. and i am sad for every single person that he hurt.

the entire fandom is on my mind today. all of those victims are on my mind today. his family is on my mind today. his 7-year old son is on my mind today. Niall, Zayn, Harry, and Louis are on my mind today.

this is heavy. and it's hard. and if you're struggling with the news, you are not alone.

my 15-year old self is in mourning today at news that i never thought i'd hear only a decade after One Direction's time. i may have never been a true fan of Liam in his solo endeavours, but he was still a big part of my childhood and the band that partially shaped who i am today.

this isn't how his story should have ended. and i'm sorry that it did. we'll never know the true intent of what happened today, but i do hope that he is in a better place and can find peace, and i sincerely hope that everyone he hurt is able to heal.

rest in peace, Liam Payne.

we'll all remember the good times we once shared every time we hear a One Direction song.

-

if you're struggling with your mental health, addiction, substance abuse, or thoughts of suicide, please consider reaching out to someone. everyone deserves a chance to get better. ♥

Suicide Hotlines & Support Below ↓

USA:

Suicide & Crisis Hotline - 988 Crisis Textline - text HOME to 741741 Youth Helpline - (877) 968-8491 or text 839863 

Canada:

Suicide & Crisis Hotline - 988

Suicide Hotline - 1 (833) 456 4566 Kid's Help Phone - 1 (800) 668 6868 Tran's Lifeline - 1 (877) 330 6366 First Nation's and Inuit Hope for Wellness Hotline - 1 (855) 242 3310

Australia:

Suicide Lifeline - 131 1141 Suicide Callback Hotline - 135 247 Beyond Blue Counselling & Helpline - 1300 22 4636

Argentine:

Centro de Asistencia Suicida - 11 5275 1135 , 800 345 1435 Servicio Gratuito de Atención Médica y Urgencias - 11 5050 0147

Ireland:

Suicide Hotline - +4408457909090 Samaritans - 116123

United Kingdom:

National Suicide Hotline - 0800 689 5652 Mental Health Crisis Support - 01708 765200 Hopeline247 - 0800 068 41 41 UK Supportline - 0 (170) 8 765200

For a full list of hotlines & support in your country:

Or find a Helpline Here:

[thearchercore]

on the pr friendships thing. having worked in pr, the term as people understand it is not a real thing. you will ask people to hang out in a 'public' or 'natural' environment where you have either told press they will be or know there will be press already (e.g sports games/concerts) usually around the time of a release of a show/record/movie that the people in question have collaborated on so when the photo gets published, you get the little write up of what the two people have been doing together professionally, more eyes on the project. doesn't usually need to happen more than a couple times and only during specific periods of said project. this is something that just does not need to happen for interpersonal grid dynamics.

(same when two mega famous people date, who are both doing well in their careers at that moment, get called a "pr relationship", it benefits no one. call me when f1 attendance goes through major dwindling attendance and ratings and leclerc suddenly gets into a relationship with dua lipa and there are multiple photos of them together doing pda at multiple races in a row)

(and this also doesn't even go into the general idea that literally everything you see from a public persona is PR. any public images, words, posts, body language, behaviour is a carefully curated image that has more inline with a portraying a fictional character than it does the actual person - also 'not playing the pr game' is still pr because that's what you want your image to be seen as)

ANYWAY sorry for my 'tism info dumping. do people not remember Charles was literally asked who he is closest with or gets along best with on the grid and he said "max, even though most people don't think that is the case"

and more importantly, you (as in the general you, not you specially) do not know these people! you do not know who they are and are not friends with. and it's not your business!

lmao dua lipa x charles the new taylor x alonso

no but seriously, charles saying "max, even though most people don't think that is the case" about who he's close with pretty much says it all. what many people don't realize is just how much privacy charles (or even max) gatekeep. they know how to lay low and not be seen so what we see is like, what, 5% of their actual lives?

so yeah, we can only speculate but from what we've seen we can say a) max and charles aren't a pr friendship (duh), and b) we will never fully unlock whatever they have going on because we only see like 1% of the iceberg (maybe with max's oversharing habits i'd say like 2.5% lmao)

[yan-lorkai]

i've been thinking about something and i thought you should hear it too,

mc is lilith's descendant but they're also a creation of the brothers' hatred for each other. like how lucifer was feeling so much wrath he created satan, the brothers' hate for each other created a curse and gave mc life [let's assume their mother couldn't have a child for the sake of this au-]

so when mc learns this, they try to stay away from the brothers as much as possible. how do you think the broters would react? [btw you're my fav yandere blog, keep up the great work, ily take care of yourself <3]

｡⁠*ﾟ⁠+ A/N: This is certainly interesting, darling. Got me thinking about tons of things that could happen if this was the case. Poor Mc though, they already deal with too much! I hope you enjoy! <3

｡⁠*ﾟ⁠+ Warning: Yandere content, kidnapping, I think that's it? Let me know if I forgot a tag.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Assuming he didn't know this, Lucifer would feel stunned. Did the hate, agony and all the sadness they have felt for centuries culminate in one being? A being that also carries Lilith's blood? He remembers the first arduous days that followed after the war, he remembers how Satan behaved and screamed, how he felt everything at once without knowing what to do.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ And he knows that up to this point, you must have had a pretty rough time growing up, being haunted by memories and events that you didn't see or witness, being tormented by their suffering without knowing what's up with you.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ You want to pull away and run away when find out about your origins, and honestly he understands. Lucifer understands but he will not allow this to happen. Just as you fixed his family, he and his brothers will help you process and deal with all of this. Even if you're screaming and crying at them, trying to escape them, trying to disappear from their lives. It's all for your own good, he assure you.

⠀

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Mammon is the most empathetic of the brothers, as well as being the one who spends the most time with you since the beginning of the exchange program. It was clear that he noticed that you had your moments of anger and bitter hatred or long periods of sadness, even without an apparent reason. And he tried to help you the best he could. When the cause of your problem was revealed, Mammon tripled his efforts to help you.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ You are family and families help each other. Even if your family is hysterical and trying to disappear because of the conflicting feelings they have. Memories can't be erased like that and yes, it's unfortunate that you are made up of all their suffering, but he won't let you get away that easily. So run, scream and fight with him, with them, Mammon will make sure that at the end of the night you are back home.

⠀

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ For Levi, this is all a bad joke, the plot of a terrible anime. He remembers how he felt during each of the celestial wars, but most of all he remembers the war that caused his downfall. There was so much pain, so much suffering everywhere he looked. Heaven lost its brilliant children, his angel brothers would carry a weight in their hearts and a bitter memory of the events; the first time angels were cast out. As a general, especially after the fall, Levi had no intention of continuing to live anywhere other than the home he was given.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ His room was his safe haven, where he could cry and vent alone. Where he could exist without fear of judgment and the tragedies that haunted him. Knowing that you are the result of all this makes him immensely sad, despite this he doesn't know how to comfort you because everything he knows as comfort may not be enough for you. But he doesn't intend to give up so easily, even if in small steps Levi tries to look for ways to show you that you has no reason to fear, now that you knows about your origin, there's no reason to stay away. On the contrary, this could be worse now.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ It may not seem like it, but he knows exactly what kind of thoughts are running through his head and the heads of his brothers. A general knows how to read his opponent like his own hand and knows that having a focused and calm mind is the key to the situation. He knows that if he joined forces with each of his brothers, you wouldn't stand a chance. You are theirs now and forever.

⠀

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Satan knows what it's like to exist feeling only one emotion, so he completely understands how conflicted your feelings must be and, while he himself feels conflicted between letting you go to mentally heal and processing everything, he also wants to keep you close.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ However, if you really want to leave then he will go with you and this is non-negotiable. The others are hunting you and only he can take you through shortcuts and open portals, you need him. He is someone who can support you in difficult times and rinse your tears, to cheer you up, get you out of bed and make you forget your problems, like he wished someone had done when he came into existence. Even though a part of him feels really smug for being the one who shares a strong bond with you; being created against your will through a feeling that does not define you.

⠀

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Asmo didn't even know something like that could be possible, but then again he also didn't know that someone could feel so much anger and literally give birth to a new being. He is surprised, quite surprised by the revelation that you are kind of a creation with Lilith's blood but also with a little bit of his brothers, their feelings and thoughts. And he wants to help, but like Levi he's not sure how to help.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ So instead he spread word for his followers to keep their eyes wide open and if they see someone who reassembles you, then to tell him immediately. You can run away all you want but you can't truly escape him and his brothers, as many eyes are on your back wherever you are.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ When you're back he is affectionate as usual, kissing your cheeks and wiping your tears as you cry. Yes darling, everything it's too much and you need some time to process all those facts but you are gonna face it this with him and his brothers, you are part of the family after all.

⠀

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Beel feels sad knowing that you were born surrounded by pain and the terrors of war they all felt, they got better through the years, overcomes their pain and accepted Lilith's passing. There's still some issues they have to fix, but each brother is doing everything they can to found you when you run away. And Beel goes around Devildom with Belphie to search for you on your favorite spots.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ He knows it may be painful to be near them right now but Beel can't let you go. He already let Lilith go because he couldn't protect her but he sure can protect you, even if he has to protect you from yourself. When he finds you, Beel throws you into his arms and hurries home, without carrying how you punch and scream at him to let you go.

⠀

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Belphie knows that instead of thinking how you feel and how bad your life was dealing with their sorrow, it's the first to act. He knows you well, knows how you think, what you feel and how you react to thinks, more times than he should Belphie used to invade your dreams without you noticing just to watch you, to study you. Sometimes to come closer to you, to hold your hands and ask for forgiveness for how wrongdoings. You never remembered though, he didn't want you to remember he could do this.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ In all your dreams though you always had a particularly spot that you loved to go and hide when you needed some time alone. He take Beel with him when they go, he knows you're there, he can feel it. And when they find you, Belphie puts you to sleep with his powers. His brothers can comfort you with their words and affections meanwhile he could work with your unconscious.

[smytherines]

★ agent curt mega

A sad headcanon for Curt [sorry I don't know how coherent this is gonna be]

I think Curt loves his mother very much, and he knows she adores him, but being around her is also pretty painful for him. It's exhausting for him.

She worked so hard to keep them afloat as a single mother during the great depression, so he has a lot of respect for her, but at the same time because she was always working Curt often felt very lonely as a kid, and it doesn't matter if he understands it rationally, some emotional part of him still resents her for it. He already felt unwanted by the father who abandoned him, and that was just sort of subconsciously reinforced by his mother never being there (and then making up for it by being Way Too Involved when she was there)

They don't know each other very well, even though she always tried her best to dote on him whenever she could. Mrs. Mega obviously doesn't know her son is gay, and she worries constantly that he is like his father, who in her eyes could never commit to anyone or anything, who was selfish and petty and could be cruel without reason.

She's worried that growing up without a father, growing up with a single mom who had no choice but to work all the time, must have broken something in Curt- the part of him that could ever settle down and live a happy married life. That must be why he isn't married yet, right? So she's eager to get Curt married off to prove to herself that doing what she had to do didn't have lifelong negative ramifications for the son she loves so much.

But Curt doesn't know that so much of why Mrs. Mega wants him to settle down is rooted in her own insecurities about being a working mother, so it has the effect of constantly making him feel like he's inadequate, a bad son, a bad everything. Curt tries to make his mom proud of him by being a hero, saving the world, being a spy, because he sure as hell can't give her the one thing she seems to want from him- for him to settle down with a nice girl and have a nice normal life.

When Owen "dies" those feelings of guilt and self-loathing just get amplified, because Curt has now failed the two people he loves most. He couldn't give his mother the son she wanted, but at least when he had Owen he had someone who really knew him, who understood and accepted him as he was, so it blunted his guilt over not being able to please his mom. After he loses Owen, there's a period where he has to stay with Mrs. Mega because he can't care for himself very well at that point. But he leaves a lot earlier than he probably should have because every time she brings up him settling down he remembers that the one person he could ever maybe possibly want to settle down with is dead, and it is his fault.

So he doesn't visit his mom very often. He doesn't call or write very often, because despite loving her and respecting what she did for them, her insistence on him living a life he isn't built for is a constant reminder of his own perceived failures.

[badbatchposts]

Quiet Corners of the Galaxy, Ch. 29

Relevant tags/content warnings: Crosshair/Original Female Character, Slow Burn, Enemies to Lovers, Periodic Smut, Canon-Typical Violence, Alcohol Use, 18+/Explicit

Read the full fic so far on AO3

Read previous chapters on Tumblr: Ch. 1 l Ch. 2 l Ch. 3 l Ch. 4 l Ch. 5 l Ch. 6 l Ch. 7 l Ch. 8 l Ch. 9 l Ch. 10 l Ch. 11 l Ch. 12 l Ch. 13 l Ch. 14 l Ch. 15 l Ch. 16 l Ch. 17 l Ch. 18 l Ch. 19 l Ch. 20 l Ch. 21 l Ch. 22 l Ch. 23 l Ch. 24 l Ch. 25 l Ch. 26 l Ch. 27 l Ch. 28

Chapter 29 summary: The Partisans arrive on base, and Crosshair realizes how much he still doesn't know about Dara.

Extra content warnings for this chapter: References to last chapter's smut but nothing direct.

As the Partisans’ ship began its descent to the landing pad where they were all gathered, Crosshair was not looking at Dara. He wasn’t even thinking about Dara. He definitely was not glancing over at her to see her reaction to the ship’s arrival, wondering if that was anticipation or eagerness or anxiety on her face. He wasn’t remembering her trembling in his lap, crying out his name, and lamenting that he might never get to hear that sound again.

And maybe he didn’t technically need to be here for the Partisans’ arrival on base, but the rest of the squad was here anyway so he might as well be, and Crosshair definitely wasn’t here just because Dara was here and he needed to see with his own eyes how she reacted when Gerrera came walking off the transport, if she smiled or her eyes lit up or she kept her expression carefully schooled like she always did only to sneak away with Saw later to some dark corner—

He couldn’t do this. He should just go. He was only going to end up causing trouble, and that was probably the real reason why Dara had broken things off in the first place—because working out an alliance between their two groups was too important, and she knew he would just ruin this for her.

Or maybe it was because she knew something else. Suspected, long before he did, what he had only realized he couldn’t keep denying the moment that she had told him things had to end.

Maybe, somehow, she knew that when he laid awake in his bunk at night, he didn’t always fantasize about finding ecstasy between her legs. Sometimes he just pictured staying with her afterwards, burying his nose in her hair while she slept.

Something in Crosshair’s chest had clenched tight as soon as the words had fallen from Dara’s lips the night before, panic and desperation bubbling up from deep in his belly, and it was pure muscle memory to cover it over with snark. He had proposed having sex again just to delay the inevitable, to give himself some time to figure out where he had gone wrong. She was angry that he was being possessive because of Howzer—yes, obviously he was staking his claim there—but there had to be something more.

He didn’t really know much about Dara’s past, when it came down to it. All those long years that natural-born beings had, living unregimented existences. When he thought of everything he’d managed to get up to just during the handful of shore leaves they’d had while the war raged on, he had to acknowledge that it was unrealistic to expect her sexual history to be any less extensive.

But that, surprisingly, didn’t bother him. What bothered him was the thought of anyone else having her now.

Especially if it was someone who mattered to her.

Crosshair wasn’t sure if he was convinced by her pronouncements about Saw, but the least he could do was show her that he was just as good. Could offer just as much. Better. Even if sex was all she ever needed him for.

Dara must have seen right through him, though. The way he had declared how badly he wanted to make her cum over and over was practically a neon sign pointing out that his affection had strayed beyond what she could tolerate. Not to mention how he’d lied to get her to stay on top of him, just because he wanted to sit there with her a little longer before he had to let go and never feel her like that again.

He was so pathetically obvious. In retrospect, the way she had driven him wild with her mouth seemed at best a bitterly cruel parting gift, at worst pity.

Hunter squeezed Crosshair’s shoulder as the Partisans’ ship finally landed. “Easy, vod,” he murmured.

The sniper wasn’t sure what his brother’s enhanced senses were picking up from him. Probably that the hatch wasn’t even open yet and Crosshair was already seriously considering fist-fighting Saw Gerrera just to make himself feel better.

Crosshair huffed. “I’m fine.”

“Uh-huh. Just try to behave,” Hunter replied skeptically.

With a hiss of steam, the ship’s ramp finally descended, and the Partisans had arrived.

About a dozen people in a mix of species, all clad in hodgepodge armor and equally mismatched weapons, slowly shuffled their way out into the morning sunshine of the landing platform. Dara nodded and exchanged pats on the back with each one as they passed by, murmuring her greetings. Most smiled warmly to see her, though a few leaned in with serious expressions, speaking quietly and earning a significant look from her in turn. The Partisans had sent a mixture of fighters and Dara’s intelligence specialists, and Crosshair couldn’t be sure, of those who treated her like either an old friend or a superior officer, which group was which.

One individual, however, he had no doubt was a friend, as a tiny Theelin woman with silvery-blue skin and bright blue hair squeezed Dara tightly, chattering a klick a minute.

“You said the operation would only take a few weeks and it’s been months and you let yourself be compromised and captured and we are never sending you in without backup again, and your last message was utter banthashit by the way you barely gave me any details and don’t start with me with that mission security shit I was ready to track this place down and bust you out of here myself if it came down to it you absolute—"

“Everything’s fine, Yaru,” Dara soothed. “I had it all under control.”

Yaru brightened as she released her friend, somehow immediately appeased, her sudden change in attitude liable to cause whiplash. “Well, of course you did. But I need to get you up to speed on—”

The Theelin, who had been surveying the crowd of clones as she spoke, stopped short in the middle of her sentence and lifted her gaze, drawing it up, up, up, until she met Wrecker’s eyes where he towered at least half a meter taller than her.

“Well, helloooo there,” she greeted him, drawing the words out longer than strictly necessary. She looked him up and down without an ounce of subtlety. “You’re certainly a big boy, aren’t you?”

Wrecker turned bright red and rubbed the back of his neck a little sheepishly, but still laughed and beamed at her. “Uh. Sure am!”

Dara scrubbed a hand down her face, lifting her eyes to the heavens as if begging the Maker to spare her the indignity of witnessing this. Crosshair could relate.

She sighed, gesturing between them in introduction. “Wrecker’s one of the clones who picked me up when I crash landed. Yaru works comms and tech for me. Can we dispense with this until after you’ve taken more than five steps on planet, maybe, Yaru?”

The woman gasped in mock outrage. “Is that all I am to you, Dara? An esteemed colleague? And here I brought some of your things from base. That’s the last time I try to do a nice thing for you.” Yaru shoved a pack into Dara’s hands, tilting her head back dramatically and resting the back of her hand against her forehead as she stomped away, faking sobs, the effect of which was almost immediately undermind when she paused in order to wink at Wrecker as she passed by.

Dara shook her head, an amused smile playing at her lips that made Crosshair’s chest ache, before she caught a glimpse of the final person descending the ramp and her expression turned serious once more.

Saw Gerrera had piercing blue-green eyes in a severe, scarred face that his unkempt beard and buzzed head did little to soften. His demeanor was somehow even harsher than Crosshair remembered. It had been two standard years since he had seen the Partisan leader, and through the haze that permeated all his memories of that time under the influence of the inhibitor chip, he could still recall the simultaneous contempt and foreboding that he had felt when Saw had warned them that a civil war was coming.

Crosshair wondered how the rebel had seen what was happening so early on, when they themselves were still floundering. Though he had thought Gerrera was simply an arrogant insurgent at the time, destined to be destroyed, the rebel had been right, in the end. The Batch needed to pick a side, and shortly after their encounter, they had.

Unfortunately, Crosshair had not been on the side the rest of his squad had chosen at first. But he was here now.

Dara nodded at her leader, greeting him no more or less than she had the rest of her comrades—to Crosshair’s quiet joy—but then furrowed her brow at his glare.

“Saw. Did something happen?”

“We had a stowaway,” he growled.

Dara, confused, looked beyond him deeper into the interior of the ship. Suddenly, her eyes lit up, and she smiled, her expression radiating warmth. It was dazzling, like staring directly into a star, and Crosshair felt his chest ache again.

She’d never looked at him like that. From where he stood, he couldn’t see who made Dara shine like the night sky, and maybe he’d been wrong about Saw all along—maybe someone else was the reason she’d ended things with him. And how could he possibly compete with anyone who had an effect on her like that?

The moment felt impossibly long, far longer than it could have been, before the person came into view, and Crosshair’s fragile and confused emotional state hurtled into the next system when he caught sight of a sullen teenager.

The boy couldn’t have been much older than Omega. He had rich copper skin and dark, wavy hair, but his eyes were a strange milky-gray, pupils barely pinpricks. He blinked in the sunlight, gaze flicking uncertainly between Dara and Saw as he shifted from foot to foot. Dara folded her arms and scowled at him, but her eyes gave her away, still twinkling with happiness.

“What, I’m gone for a few months and suddenly you’re too good to give me a hug?”

Relief washing over his features, the boy took the last few steps at a run, practically tackling Dara in his eagerness. “I thought you’d be mad,” he breathed. “Saw was.”

Dara drew away from him, grinning. “I could never be mad at you for coming to see me.”

The boy frowned. “But I left my post.”

“Well, it’s about time you gave me a field report, isn’t it?” She ignored Saw’s displeasure entirely as she looked the teen up and down for a minute. “Dank farrik, kid, how much taller did you grow?”

The boy only shrugged before he glanced out at the group of clones and realized they had an audience. Dara patted his back in support when he drew back.

“Boys, this is Brith, my best field agent. If you want to know everything there is to know about a target or an Imperial base, all you have to do is drop him in town for a few weeks and wait.”

Brith shrugged a little self-consciously as the men smiled and nodded at him. Omega caught his eye with an excitable wave, and Crosshair was certain she’d be interrogating him, wide-eyed, about his adventures before the hour was up. Crosshair himself, though, wasn’t sure exactly what to make of it—Dara had certainly never mentioned anything about a kid before, and he couldn’t help but wonder how much else she hadn’t told him.

Dara stood aside for a moment, murmuring quietly to Brith, while Rex stepped forward to clasp Gerrera by the hand. “Good to see you again, Saw,” the Captain welcomed him.

“You too, Rex.” Saw drew himself up as he returned the gesture, surveying the crowd of clones. When his gaze alit on Crosshair and the rest of Clone Force 99, his eyes darkened. “Just wish I could say the same about all your men. You know…” he took a step toward the sniper, arms crossed, expression murderous. “I promised myself if I ever saw you again then I’d even the score.”

Crosshair smirked. “I suppose you could try,” he drawled.

Saw addressed the Captain over his shoulder without looking away, fists clenching.“I’ve got to be honest, Rex—if we’re supposed to be trusting each other, having him on your side isn’t doing you many favors,”he spat.

Crosshair surveyed him quickly, already sizing up his weak points in case it came down to a brawl. Behind him, he felt his brothers stiffening. Wrecker loomed menacingly over his shoulder while Tech shuffled Omega behind them, to her muffled protests.

“Hmm,” Crosshair sneered. “I would give you a list of all the Imperials I’ve killed to prove myself, but I’ve already lost count.”

“Can’t say it would change my mind,” Saw retaliated. “Betrayed the Republic, betrayed your squad, betrayed the Empire…doesn’t seem to me like you care much which side you’re killing.”

Hunter stepped up beside Crosshair. “You’re gonna want to back off, Saw,” he growled. The Sergeant could tell his brother to behave all he liked, but when it came down to it, Crosshair couldn’t help but appreciate how quickly he’d back him up anyway. Both sides were preparing for a fight now, the tension ratcheting up until the air was thick with it, and the part of Crosshair that whispered that he was doing exactly what Dara didn’t want him to do warred with the element that would rather let his feelings out through his fists.

When the woman herself intervened, standing between Saw and Crosshair and glaring at each of them in turn, the sniper almost found himself shrinking back a little.

“Far be it from me to put a stop to this little pissing contest,” Dara interrupted, “but I’ve already had this discussion.” She turned toward Saw, arms folded. “And I’ve made my peace with it. You don’t have to trust him, but you should at least trust my judgment.”

Saw worked his jaw, still glowering, his eyes darting between Dara and Crosshair for a moment.

“You’ll vouch for him?” he finally asked.

Dara glanced back at Crosshair, expression unreadable, and he felt a traitorous flip in his stomach. It was ridiculous, how his nerves were steel in the face of what very well could’ve escalated into violence, only to wobble the minute she looked at him.

She nodded. “I trust him. We wouldn’t be doing this otherwise.”

She trusted him. Surely, she didn’t mean that—she had told him the opposite herself. Dara was just trying to appease Saw, to get this alliance to work. Inexplicably, Crosshair suddenly noticed that the bruises he’d left on her neck had disappeared, and, his stomach churning with all the jealousy and anticipation and disappointment and everything else he’d been subjected to over the last rotation, he wondered if she’d also bothered to waste bacta on erasing the lovely, succulent marks he’d dedicatedly inscribed over her breasts. He hoped she hadn’t.

Saw didn’t relax even an iota, still chewing stubbornly on her affirmation, but most of his fighters did, sensing that the moment had passed. From the corner of his eye, Crosshair saw Hunter signal the rest of the squad to stand down.

Rex placed a firm hand on Gerrera’s shoulder. “The Empire’s hurt all of us, Saw,” the Captain avowed quietly. “It’s time to work together.”

Finally, Saw tore his gaze from Dara, shooting Crosshair one last mistrustful scowl. “We can do that. At least, for now.” He turned to Rex, gesturing with his chin. “Lead the way, Captain.”

As the clones and Partisans followed their leaders from the landing pad toward the briefing room, Crosshair was close enough to hear Dara and Saw’s quiet conversation.

“Where’s Ryndi?” Dara asked, glancing over the group behind them as if expecting to see another face there.

Saw tensed his jaw almost imperceptibly. “She had to stay behind on base to keep an eye on her patients. We had some injuries during an operation on Eriadu.”

“You infiltrated Tarkin’s compound without me?” To the casual observer, Dara was looking at Saw with mild disapproval, but Crosshair could tell she was furious, her nostrils flaring ever-so-slightly. He scoffed internally, thinking that Saw’s boldness must really outweigh his intelligence if he thought he could take on the Imperial governor in his own base.

“It couldn’t be helped,” Saw asserted. “There was a summit of high-ranking Imperial officers that we were targeting. I didn’t want to pull you out from here.”

Dara was gritting her teeth and seemed to want to object, but appeared to decide to bite her tongue. “Well did you at least complete the objective?” she asked instead.

Saw gave her a look. “Do you think I would have this expression right now if we had managed to take out Tarkin?” With that, he caught up with Rex at the head of the group, leaving Dara shaking her head in frustration behind him.

Crosshair was beginning to see where some of Dara’s hesitation in describing her relationship with Saw had come from during his interrogation the night before. Perhaps it was more complicated than he had thought. Though a small part of him was still ringing with a stubborn, certainly misplaced hope—she trusts me, she trusts me, she trusts me—he couldn’t be sure if that was a good thing for him.

Tag list: @stardusthuntress @skellymom @megmegalodondon @somewhere-on-kamino @morerandombullshit @zahmaddog @flaming-dumpster