#and he deserved everything he got in the end and he was a sad lonely man who never felt love again

[bodega-catto]

People defending Snow because he’s a handsome white man despite him:

-Thinking of selling Tigris (in like page 4 mind you.)

-Despises working with people.

-ONLY helps Sejanus because the cameras are watching.

-Spends the whole book thinking about how things can benefit him and how to make everything to his advantage.

-Tries to remind the public that Lucy Gray “belong to him” and how he was constantly angry about not owning her.

-Calls district people: bestial, not evolved and unfortunate barbaric creatures (yea including Lucy.)

-Tries to delude himself that Lucy is from the capitol because he’s shamed of liking her.

-Says he prefers Lucy in the capitol because he knows exactly where she is at all times (liked Lucy in the games because of the same reason, he could watch her 24/7 and control her.)

- Moved in with Sejanus parents after betraying their son and getting him killed.

-Killed Highbottom who was trying to prevent him from rising to the top because he could see his true nature in his eyes and was afraid of him (and his father.)

And this is all just in BoSbaS, told from his own perspective. Think about everything he did after.

[wildesqdreams]

canceled plans, sweet love

summary - sometimes you have to experience pain again and again, even if it's caused by friends, until you find that person who would fall into tartarus for you.

pairing - percy jackson x fem!reader.

warnings - angst (not because of our man), but percy saves the day, kissing/making out.

navigation | masterlist | request | taglist

a/n: i wrote this in one sitting, why? because this actually happened to me. am i okay? no, i'm not... but i hope u guys like it!

you know what's the biggest problem with selfless people? they usually end up as idiots, lying in bed listening to radiohead and still WONDERING how they can make others feel better.

it was 3pm. she was supposed to be back at 7. percy knew it, so he went out skateboarding with his new colleagues that he has befriended.

y/n knew it, too. she had planned the day out. well her and her friends. a lake day, a long needed reunion, since she didn't see them for quite a while.

the thing is she was so sentimental and she was waiting when she could finally see her friends again. and as she was told, they were too. but then why did the plans suddenly change? and why did suddenly everyone have to leave 5 hours earlier than intended?

a tear rolled down her face, and she hid her face in the blanket.

god, she felt so stupid. always listening. always trying. always waiting. ALWAYS CHASING OTHERS. but in the end, being left alone like a piece of shit.

it may seem dramatic. but when all your lifetime you have been the one running after and being ditched, it just makes you feel so embarrassing and lonely. so fucking lonely.

she felt something vibrate. she reached for her phone under the pillow, hoping for some apologies, but all she got was a notification from the weather app. y/n put her phone back down on the bed, closing her eyes, trying to fall asleep. trying to run away from her clouded mind.

some minutes passed, and she heard the apartment doors open. there was some shuffling before she heard a voice yell from the foyer, "hey, baby, you're already back?!"

percy.

the girl felt the nerves in her body come back alive. how stupid. such an idiot. dumb. dumb. dumb.

"weren't you supposed to be at home much later," she heard him come to the bedroom, "not that i'm complaining or anything," percy set the keys on the cupboard in the room.

y/n just hummed.

"ey," the boy went to the bed, sitting down, where she was lying on her side. he placed his hand on her upper thigh, rubbing circles with his thumb, "did something happen?"

"no, everything is fine," she put on a small smile, as she sat up, percy's hand sliding up and down her leg, that was covered with the blanket, "so, how was your day? have fun?"

percy squeezed her thigh before putting his hand on the bed beside it, the other reaching for her hair, pushing it behind her ear, "baby," he kissed her cheek, that was stained with tears, resting his other hand on the other side of the bed, traping her between his arms, "don't lie to me."

"perce, i'm fine, really."

"then why have you been crying?"

y/n shrugged, "watched a sad movie."

"and why are you home so early?"

"got bored, decided that i wanted to leave," she tried to act unbothered, but percy could see right through her. of course he could.

"y/n," he sat closer, as he put his arms around her, "fuck em," he pulled her closer.

she tried to smile, but tears started to spill again, "again, no big deal."

she heard him sigh, "i hate when you just act like it's okay, when it's not, " he rubbed his hand up and down her back, "i just wished you had called me, i would be here in a heartbeat-"

"percy-"

"i'm serious, y/n," he pulled back, resting his hands on her cheeks, "i'm here, baby, always. i'm not gonna just throw you away. if you need me, i'm here," he rested his forehead against hers, "those idiots aren't worth your tears. gods, pretty, you deserve so much better than them."

she smiled, tears still in her eyes. the girl gave him a peck on his nose, "i'll live, i mean, i have you. that's more than i could ask for."

she felt his hands go down to her waist, lying her back down, as he climbed on top of her, giving her soft kisses on her neck, "that's right, baby. just remeber that," he trailed his lips up her neck, "don't want you forgeting what you mean to me," her hands went to his hair, as his kisses traveled up to her mouth, "i love you so much, y/n."

"i love you, perce," the boy captured her lips into a passionate kiss.

but the best thing about selfless people? they are patient enough to wait for the right people to come into their lives and make all the tears and pain be replaced with endless love.

"but really," she mumbled into the kiss, "how did it go?"

percy just laughed, "let's just say we both should just stick with each other," and with that, he placed his lips back on hers.

taglist: @pleasingregulus

[luneariaa]

ᯓ★٠ ࣪⭑ UNSPOKEN. ✧ KENJI S. { 𝐈 }.

✰ — PART 1 ; mentions of kenji having some deep; untold sadness, emi mention, the reader being the sunshine friend to kenji + having close relationship.

✰ — probably will have more two - three parts of the story! tried to fit in one part, but it doesn't work somehow ( ╥ω╥ ) to those who wanted to be tagged in the next future parts, feel free to comment or send me an ask <33 !! ✩₊˚. PART 2.

. dividers by @/strangergraphics ⛓ !!

GROWING UP, for almost his entire life, KENJI— regardless of the increase of popularity and fame, doesn't really have that much of friends. Does he even have them at this point? He doesn't really have anyone that he could actually rely on; even trusted fully.

Despite everything from the outside of one's possible perspective, he's still the lonely, sweet boy deep down. None has ever truly cracked his persona down and managed to bring out his true self, which a part of him is glad for some reason— but the other, not so much.

The attention that he has received all over the world doesn't really mean anything, not what he silently craved and secretly desperate for.

Companionship, someone who actually cares about his wellbeing as a whole despite his ongoing status.

Yes, of course, he loves the fact that he's able to accomplish something that's quite significant to him, at least— getting all of the attention that they think he truly deserved, but there will always be this one void within his heart; as if begging to be fixed with something that even he himself wasn't so sure about it.

His mansion may have everything that he ever needed, but it still feels bleak, somehow, no matter what he's trying to do. What's the point of having large spaces, when in the end, the mere silence will be his only company?

Kenji doesn't even realize it, but sometimes, he ended up just staring blankly at the empty gaps of his surroundings; feeling lost at the said moment.

His world has been nothing but simply revolving around his stardom life as much as the realization hits him; an endless, monochromatic-colored world that he tacitly faced alone with some fair, or unfair number of struggles.

"Must be a tough day today, yeah Ken?"

"You should take some more needed breaks, at least!" He swiftly got pulled out of his train of thoughts, eyes immediately glancing to the source of sound. This is his reality now, not the one that he keeps on unconsciously reminiscing of.

"Pushing yourself too hard wouldn't be too good for your health, y'know." A euphonious voice scolded him lightly, accompanied with a bright, albeit concerned grin.

Kenji now took notice of you standing by the doorway; your smile remained despite the visible apprehensive look that was directed towards him. Completely aware of the mere truth behind your words alone, he averts his gaze back elsewhere— cracking a small, yet almost forceful of a smile as if he's trying to ease down your concerns.

"Yeah, you got a point. It's just the usual, I guess," he scratches the back of his head while lazily slouching on the bed. "It's not me if I don't mope over some pointless stuff."

"Well, it's not that pointless if it bothers you." You exhale out, gradually pulling him out of the bed.

"Maybe we can try something for the day— maybe you wanted to play baseball for a bit? I'll watch 'cuz you know I suck at those."

He couldn't hold back the snort from escaping, which earned a disapproving pout from you, but nonetheless, you added further.

"Or we could just play around with baby Emi as always! Or both, I don't know.."

"Perhaps that could at least ease your mind for a bit..?"

He could clearly sense your efforts; chuckling as he knows that he doesn't have any other plausible choices, but to simply follow your lead without any complaints. When it comes to you, Kenji knew it would always be futile to try anything quite the contrary from it.

"That sounds nice, actually." A genuine smile, despite the hints of his exhaustion, tugged at the corner of his lips. Has he even noticed it himself on how easy it is for you to coax him out of his shell? "Playing with Emi sounds amazing."

Kenji admitted along with a smirk being present by now, replacing his previous smile while doing some mini stretches here and there.

"I know!" You merely giggled over his words, "Besides, I just know that the baby already misses you. I fed her earlier too, in case you're wondering!" His pretty, midnight-colored eyes seemed to brighten up after you finished speaking for a bit.

"At this rate, I think you're spoiling her a bit too much," he castigated facetiously, earning an eyeroll from you when one of his hands ended up atop of your head— giving it a playful ruffle.

"Well, what can I say.."

"She's just a cute, big baby."

His genuine smile returned in mere seconds, finding the whole idea to be quite endearing; causing for him to feel the warmth that's starting to blossom within his chest. He's totally aware of his whole responsibility at this point— unintentionally, yet welcoming the idea of becoming a father to the baby kaiju, now willingly to take care of her because she's one of the reasons that actually changed him for the better.

Throughout the whole conversation that the two of you have shared with one another, it seemed as if the burdens on his shoulders has been lifted away; the atmosphere becoming more comfortably lighter than before without you even realizing it yourself.

Kenji doesn't even know how, but your sole presence has something in particular that keeps him grounded, and he values you deeply for that.

Even with such mystery that's been shrouding around you, it never really bothered him that much; respecting your boundaries and taking an immediate notice on how you seemed to be uncomfortable with talking about your own past and parents, in a way. He assumed that something might have happened before, hence the vague details you kept telling him— no irritation present ever.

Maybe someday, you'll have the courage to tell him. But for now, you would rather keep it a secret.

@luneariaa. do not repost; reblogs are welcomed. all rights reserved.

[the-offside-rule]

Max Verstappen (Red Bull Racing) - Shouldn't Have Happened

Requested: yes

Prompts: 4) "You deserve better." 15) "You're a wonderful person and don't you ever forget that." 28) "Have you been drinking?"

Warnings: drunk max

The streets of Monaco were quiet other than the distant echoes of laughing and cars fading into the night. Y/n Leclerc walked through the cobbled alleys, her steps echoing in the silence. She had chosen to bot drink too much tonight, watching over her friends who had indulged a bit too much in the celebration. As she rounded a corner, she stumbled upon an unexpected sight—a figure sprawled in a flower bed. She scoffed before she continued walking and only to see a familiar face. Max Verstappen. Concerned, Y/n approached him, gently shaking his shoulder. "Hey, are you okay?"

Max stirred, groaning slightly. "I'm fine... just needed a moment with the flowers." He slurred, sounding very....drunk.

"A flower bed in Monaco." Y/n muttered somewhat amused. "Are you hurt?" Max sat up slowly, rubbing his temple. "Just my pride, I think." Y/n noticed the faint scent of alcohol clinging to him. "And you've been drinking?" Max laughed, his gaze shifting from the starry sky to Y/n Leclerc in a red dress, holding her heels as though they were a handbag. "Yeah, too much, I guess." He replied, sitting up, denying Y/n to help him. "Why?" Y/n asked, curiosity and concern mingling in her voice. Max hesitated before confessing. "My girlfriend um- she cheated on me. My friends convinced me to go out looking for a rebound, but I ended up feeling like shit and getting sad again."

"I'm not trying to be insincere but it was very obvious she would do this." Max looked at her, his eyes turning into one of anger. "Think About it Max. She never went to your races and whenever she did, she either paraded herself around or was glued to her phone. It was so obvious she was using you and cheating." Max groaned, nearly falling back into the flower bed. "Okay, just-" Y/n hoisted Max'sarm over her shoulder and began walking up the steep hill. "Jesus, I thought you guys liked to stay light." Y/n mumbled. "Did you just call me fat?" Max blabbered. "Oh shut up. Charles is the same." Max didn't speak. He couldn't and he didn't want to. "You deserve better." Y/n said firmly, her eyes reflecting sincerity. Max down, meeting her gaze. "Do I, though?"

"You do." Y/n insisted. "You're a wonderful person, and don't you ever forget that." As she got to the top of the hill, Max reached into his pocket and pulled out a swab for the apartment complex front door. As Max struggled to get the swab to work, Y/n took it and opened it for him. "I'll come up with you just just you can open your actual door." She mumbled. "Oh, Y/n. I didn't know you cared." He teased before Y/n slapped his chest. "Shut up! Get inside!" She began giggling upon seeing Max laughing hysterically at his own joke. "I'm serious! Come on before Charles calls me to see where I am!"

Finally, Y/n opened the front door, letting Max fall in and stumble to the kitchen. Y/n looked around in awe. This looked nothing like her brothers apartment. As a matter of fact, it could possibly be much nicer. "Drink?" She turned to see Max opening up a huge liquor cabinet. "I think I should get going." Max shrugged. "If you have to. I mean, I have two glasses here and one is going to be very lonely without the other." He sang, pouring both glasses. Y/n eyed them for a moment before she gave in. "Okay, just one."

-----------------

"When did you and your girlfriend break up?" Y/n asked as Max poured another glass. "In like-" Max thought for a moment. "September? I just couldn't let loose and drink like I can now so I have been bottling everything up and now I'm here drinking with the littlest of the Leclerc's." Y/n and Max toasted before she downed the drink yet again. "You seem to need that vodka. Need something stronger?" She shook her head. "No, but maybe a red wine?" Max turned, grabbed a brand new bottle and placed it in front of Y/n. "I have and its my most expensive one." Y/n looked between Max and the bottle. "Well don't give me the expensive one." Max shook his head, opening the bottle. "No, no. Drink the good wine on a bad day because on a good day, all wine tastes good." Y/n smiled. "My mother always says that."

She poured herself a glass before taking a sip. "So, why are you so down?" Max asked. "University. Its getting to be too much and I'm honestly thinking of dropping out and becoming a hairdresser like Mama." Max sighed. "Well, I think you would be great in whatever you want to do. I actually think you'd be a really good therapist." Y/n smiled. "I'm in university to be a sport psychologist actually." Max nodded. "Very good. I'll come to you about all my problems from now on." Max chuckled. "Maybe that would stop me from thinking of looking for a rebound."

They sat in silence for a moment, simply looking between eachothers eyes and lips. "You're not the rebound type, Max. That's not who you are as a person." She whispered, her words resonating in the night air. "How do you know what kind of a person I am?" Max mumbled, sipping his whiskey. "Charles talks about you sometimes. And you forget I bumped into you I a club on my birthday last year." Max looked at her yet again. He felt safe with her. He didn't know if it was the alcohol or her aura but he felt safe. "And you figured me out that quick?" Y/n shook her head. "No, but I'd like to figure you out. You seem lovely."

As the night wore on, Max's shoulders seemed lighter, his smile more genuine. And as they walked back to Y/n's apartment, the air crackled with an unspoken tension. "Have you had a rebound? Have you had anyone since her?" Y/n asked as Max drank his wine and Y/n looked up at him intently. Max hesitated, his gaze flickering uncertainly. "No. Too busy, but Im hoping now with the off-season, I could get a chance to explore new possibilities and people." He replied. "New people. Does this mean men are included?" Max shook his head, nearly spitting out his drink. "No, Jesus. No. I like women. I'm a big fan of the breasts." As Y/n and Maxs laughing quietened down, they could feel the electricity in the air, their hearts pounding in their chests. They leaned in closer to one another, slowly. "Are you going to just stare at me or-" And then, in a moment of boldness, Max leaned in and kissed her.

Y/n's heart fluttered, her head spinning with a whirlwind of emotions. Max deepened the kiss as Y/n's hands flew up to the back of his head, pulling him as close as he could possibly go. Their pants and puffs filled the room, knocking over glasses as Max hoisted Y/n up onto the countertop. It was then Y/n pushed him away. "Wait. No. This is so, so wrong on so many levels." Y/n whispered to herself. "What do you mean?" Max asked. "I mean, I am not going to be your rebound because its just so fucking wrong. I haven't Eve done that kind of stuff before. Jesus!" Y/n hopped down off the counter, muttering to herself in French as Max grabbed her back for her. "Who said you were my rebound?" Max asked.

"Max! Regardless, I don't think I could do this. You race my brother, you just got cheated on and you've told me multiple times you just want a rebound. Well, I'm sorry, but that's not what I'm looking for." As she turned to head for the door, Max pulled her back. "Listen, I don't want you as a rebound. I'm not doing this because I'm drunk, I'm doing this because I genuinely like you and I'd like to get to know you better." Y/n's chest rose and fell quickly as she took deep breathes to try and control herself. "Then take me out for food or something first at least." She replied. "Okay." Max took out his phone and handed it to Y/n. She looked up it skeptically. "Put your number in. I'll text you in the morning and we can go for breakfast. Better yet, I'll bring you for lunch on my yacht." She scoffed. "Yachts don't impress me, Max."

"Maybe not, but it would give me a chance to actually get to know you." She typed her number in it and added a heart for good measure. "How's that?" She asked. Max smiled. "Perfect. I'll see you tomorrow."

-----------

Y/n groaned, her head pounding as she stumbled into the kitchen to the sound of her mother's concerned voice. Whilst she had done her hair up and changed into more respectable clothes than the night before, there was no denying that she probably felt like she was dying. Arthur and Charles exchanged mischievous grins, eying her with curiosity. Her mother, worried, placed a bowl of cereal in front of her. "Are you okay, dear?" Pascale asked, rubbing her daughter's head. "No." Y/n replied miserably. "There is some pills in the cabinet to help your headache. I just need to go go the bathroom and I'll get them for you." Pascale said, heading towards the bathroom.

Before Y/n could respond, Arthur and Charles jumped in with sly grins. "So, how was your night, Y/n?" Arthur asked, taking a sip of his coffee. Y/n felt her cheeks flush as she recalled the events of the evening—the chance encounter, the heartfelt conversations, the stolen kiss...and everything that happened after that. "It was great." She replied, her voice quiet and shy with a tone of embarrassment. "You definitely stayed at a guys house last night. Admit it!" Charles chuckled. "No! I'm back here, aren't I?" She defended herself. "Yes, but I heard you open the door at nearly 5 this morning." Charles and Arthur laughed. "I do have friends you know. Plus, there wasn't even a guy last night. It was just me and my friends." Y/n replied, trying to disguise the fact that she was in fact talking to a guy. "So, care to explain the mysterious hill-walking we saw on TikTok?" Charles asked, shoving his phone in her face. Sure enough, there it was; Y/n and a mysterious man walking up a steep hill as they argued.

Y/n sighed, realizing her night out had become the latest family gossip. "It's not what it looks like," she mumbled, bracing herself for the interrogation from her cheeky brothers. "I- That's not me. Im-" She paused when she heard her phone buzz. She quickly answered it and her heart skipped a beat upon seeing the message.

Max🧡

I'm in Cafe de Paris. Unless you decided you don't want to join me

She smiled to herself before she pocketed her phone and headed towards the door, now a bounce in her step. "Well, as much as I'd like to answer you and your false accusations, boys. I have a Cafe to head to and a person to meet so, au revoir, á bientot, et bisous." She smiled, closing the door behind her and leaving her brothers curious.

[eddiesghxst]

stalker!eddie been on my mind someone see my through w this pls

obsessed with the idea of eddie just being a complete loser weirdo freak. nobody liked him as a kid and it put him in a corner where he could either be sad and lonely or do something distracting with his time— he did the latter.

he’s got these little fixations, things that keep him busy and entertained and he likes the rush he gets when he feels the need to learn everything about something— that’s where his love for dnd comes in. he likes that there’s not a single part of the game you could ever fool him about because he knows it like the back of his hand— almost as if he created it himself. he’s the same way with music— sits and listens to songs on repeat until he has every single pluck of the strings memorized to spin at his fingertips.

it’s his special thing. his superpower. to study things until they become a part of him. and that’s normal.

people can have fixations on things like games and hobbies and whatnot— that’s a normal thing to do.

what’s not normal is when eddie starts to feel this way about you.

suddenly it’s no longer an inanimate object he’s obsessing over. it’s no longer just a silly fantasy game or a limited edition guitar or a handcrafted dagger; no. this is a person. a human being.

he knows it’s not normal. knows it’s bad and he should probably stop before he does something stupid, but when eddie gets an urge to discover, fuck, he can’t stop.

youre not perfect. you’re not some angel sent from god, no, none of that insane cultish bullshit. he’s not exactly sure what it is about you that scratches that obsessive itch in him but it does and that’s dangerous.

he doesn’t realize it’s a problem at first. just thinks it’s a silly crush, no big deal he’s had plenty of those before. because it’s normal to smile at every little thing your crush does. and it’s normal to just want to sit there and stare at your crush all day long. that shit is normal.

but then he doesnt even realize what he’s doing when he offers you a ride home after class. he honestly and genuinely thinks he’s just being a good person by driving you home because it was raining and anyone with a decent heart would do the same.

but then he ends up coming back later that night. and he watches you through your window from across the street. watches for hours as you do your nightly routine, not even once getting a feeling that you’re not alone. he doesn’t even realize what he’s doing is so fucking wrong until you turn your lights off for bed and he’s left feeling like an audience at the end of a show. calling out for more.

he gets a sick feeling, knows it’s so wrong, what he’s done. goes home and panics and swears to himself that he’ll never do that weird shit again because he respects you and you don’t deserve this— and fucks sake this isn’t him! he would never do this to anyone!

but then he’s back the next night. and the next night. and the next.

and eventually he buys a camera. and eventually he knows when you’re home and when you’re not home. and eventually he’s sliding in through your window while you’re gone and he’s going through your things.

and eventually— fuck, he’s in too deep.

[absolutebl]

Top 10 Most Underrated BLs of the last 3 years

(mid year 2021 - end 2023)

This list will not include BLs that ended their run in 2024. I need some distance to know if something is actually underrated (We Are maybe?) or justifiably ignored.

1 I Cannot Reach You AKA Kimi ni wa Todokanai (Japan 2023 Netflix?)

This classic friends-to-lovers BL is everything Japan does best. Angsty. Emo. Aching. Driven by real thirst. Yamato is deeply in love with his childhood bestie, Kakeru, and has been for ages, increasingly unable to hide his ungainly damaging high school need. He wants Kakeru in every way possible and it oozes off of the screen. Kakeru is silly and a little simple, but not frenetic or overly camp about it. He is earnest, and genuinely wants to keep Yamato in his life, which means giving a romance (and gayness) a fair chance. We watch him realize his affection and what form it can take in a truly authentic way. This show was impossibly kind to both of its lead characters and I felt almost honored that I got to watch something so lovely and rare play out on my screen. Full review.

2 My Ride (Thai 2022 Gaga)

Thai BL grew up with this pulp (the first ever pulp to make my end of year top 10). It’s a truly lovely and special little show featuring the extremely rare pairing of sunshine/sunshine (AKA a cinnamon roll couple) plus mature explorations of relationships using one of the softest, sweetest, and most innocent friends to lovers vehicles. Kindly, overworked doctor meets broken-hearted motorcycle taxi rider in an “other side of the tracks” slow burn romance. The support cast is excellent, making for great friendship groups and family dynamics. With honest queer rep that adds to, but doesn’t impede, the story, and genuine conversation about the nature of class, wealth, and classism, not to mention communication, honesty, and respect for boundaries, you can’t go wrong with this show. In other news, I am a sucker for a single dimple. Full review.

3 Our Dining Table AKA Bokura no Shokutaku (Japan 2023 Gaga)

A lonely salaryman (+ talented cook) gets accidentally adopted by a college kid (and his little brother). I was always gonna love this show if they stuck to the original yaoi (which is very dear to my heart). And they did! Paralleling it almost exactly. It’s a quiet & cozy little parable of found family alleviating loneliness. Possibly too slow for some but definitely high up there for me as the best of what Japan can do with softness (like Restart After Come Back Home). It’s only flaw (if I dare say such a thing) is that it is not really “romantic.” Lovely & sweet but the romance beats are being used to build a family relationship, not just couple intimacy, but that's OK with me. This is a very safe show for anyone to watch.

4 About Youth (Taiwan 2022 Gaga)

A truly lovely little coming of age high school BL with a classic YA low drama but high angst and earnest depth. I didn’t even mind the singing, and that’s saying a lot. A weak seme/uke dynamic but tons of BL tropes (both rare in a high school setting but common for Taiwan) makes this one feel both sweet and colored by real world authenticity and grit. Full review.

5 Step By Step (Thai 2023 Gaga)

This was Thailand’s answer to The New Employee, and everything I loved about that show I loved about this one. This office romance between a stern boss and sweet subordinate felt more authentic to cubical work than previous Thai BLs of this ilk. That authenticity added tension to the narrative and its characters development (how novel). I also really enjoyed the charming side characters and the brothers' relationship to each other (although I could have done without that brother's side BL). Full review.

6 DNA Says Love You (Taiwan 2022 Gaga)

DNA deserves extra marks for an upbeat approach to a queer story arc that other shows have systemically mishandled with sadness (in the guise of realism). There is a twist, which I found predictable, but knowing what would happen didn't spoil this show. The leads are luminous and engaging, and it’s full of queer found family representation and an unexpected amount of domesticity, plus it’s Taiwan, so the kisses are great. The first few eps are rough going but have patience, it's worth it I promise! The second half is really special and life/love affirming - and the end is big-grin charming. Full review.

7 Unintentional Love Story (Korea 2023 iQIYI)

Of all the BLs on this list, this is probubly the MOST underrated. OMG the plot! Uke forced into a totally understandable betrayal, falling in love despite himself, put into a corner he can't get out of, the AGONY, the PAIN in those gorgeous eyes. Gah. Okay, so: A boy loses his job due to trumped-up corruption charges accidentally discovers his ex-boss's favorite artist, now a recluse. Evil manager offers him his job back, if he can convince the artist to rejoin society. Instead, they fall in love. I found the artist a bit stiff and reserved but Gongchan (maknae of B1A4) is a fucking GIFT - he carried this show (which I do not expect from the idol element). He was luminous with extraordinarily expressive eyes, just drown in the emoting abyss. The external conflict, social tension and pressure is complex and beautifully executed, plus Korea gave us legit side dishes (NOT a love triangle, hally-fucking-luya). Full review.

8 Dear Doctor I'm Coming for Your Soul (Thai 2022 iQIYI)

This is a romance between a doctor trying to save his patients and a reaper who is both his enemy and (eventual) lover (basically the genius premise of a gay Doom at Your Service). High concept looks good on you, Thailand. It’s lovely to see KarnNat back on screen together and they are still great, and Karn is just as painfully beautiful as ever. I enjoyed this one more than its ending deserved, and the best I can say is that it’s not strictly HEA but if you’re okay with Life: Love on the Line, you’ll be okay with this BL. It’s set up well, there’s no surprise unpleasantness like HIStory 3: The BL that shall not be named. Full review.

9 Destiny Seeker (Thai 2023 WeTV)

A darn near perfect pulp featuring 3 likable grumpy/sunshine pairings with uncomplicated iterations of enemies to lovers. At least one half of each does a decent amount of pining and there’s good chemistry, classic tropes, and excellent communication rep. It’s fun and full of linguistic jokes. Sublimely cheesy but a good rainy day offering with tons of rewatch potential. (Also WAR PEANUTS!) Full review.

10 Make a Wish (Thai 2023 grey)

A doctor who can see the dead strikes a bargain with a wish-granting irreverent tree angel - naturally they fall in love (from Sammon: Manner of Death & Triage). Stars Fluke Natouch opposite not Ohm, but who cares because Fluke has chemistry with everybody. Once again the Thai afterlife is incredibly bureaucratic but I enjoyed the premise and the unfolding of the story (it’s not predictable but still satisfying and with nice little twist). I like that the doctor is just gay AF - fag hag bestie and made of swagger. The cast is excellent but the comedic stylings are a bit overblown and tonally off. It has sad parts and did make me cry but is ultimately happy with a great sex scene, good smiley kisses, and all the agency.

10 others I rarely see anyone talk about:

Triage - Many would put this at the top of the list, but I don't find it very rewatchable and that weighs a lot in my assessments. Still it is GOOD and very underrated. BL does Groundhog Day featuring a doctor stuck in a time loop who must save a poor little rich boy from death by seducing the stuffing out of him, then PLOT TWIST, poor little rich boy must do the same for doctor! Unfortunately… stuffing keeps leaking. I thought the plot was engaging if a little redundant and occasionally exhausting. The pairs were all well done, low heat but with decent chemistry and the support characters were likable (or unlikeable, as required). My reason it's not in the top 10? If anything, the romance arc detracted and distracted from the main plot, but that doesn't stop this from being a genuinely good show it's just time loop is not a trope I personally enjoy. Review here.

See You After Quarantine? - This under appreciated gem is Taiwan’s answer to Gameboys and is just as charmg and adorable yet still as quintessentially Taiwanese as one might hope. It features a Japanese love interest and the cutest most confused disaster gay. Slow burn because the two have almost no actual screen time together and yet manage some truly amazing chemistry. Honestly how does Taiwan do it?

The Tasty Florida - I don't know, maybe it's Speed nostalgia, but I love this one, classic Korean BL with all those strengths and flaws... but The Prettiest.

You Make Me Dance - it's Korea but somehow they got this one, maybe by featuring mature characters and a real world crisis? Also they both ve hot.

Blueming - at the time it got a lot of attention but it seems to have faded into obscurity under the shod of The 8th Sense and Love of Love's Sack. This was a precurser to both and well worth a watch if you like it when Korea gets a little gritty.

Love Stage!! (Thai version) - I liked this IP alerady more than most. But this is the best of the 4 adaptations, and the first full Thai version of Japanese IP. It's both charming and notable in the industry. Hard to find and that's why it gets so little creddit but I think it's well worth the effort to track down.

Oh! Boarding House - I think most who watched this din't jive with it because it's an ensamble piece witha wicked love traingle. But I really enjoyed it. It felt like the move Kdrama BL that Korea has given us and I like me some Kdramas.

What Zabb Man! - one of the better BLs to come out of Star Hunter in the last few years. I like this pair a lot more than most, and the sides are wicked great. This is probably one of my favorite food themed BLs, actually.

2 Moons The Ambassador - possibly the lowest scoring BL to appear on this list but I just really like the leads. Nothing else is good, but they are kinda awkwardly fantastic. I also like how gay af the seme is.

Stay By My Side - This show was an interesting take on the "ghost boyfriend" trope. About a boy who is tormented by hearing the dead, except when he is around one other boy - desperation+proximity = love. Despite a strong initial premise it ended up mostly being enjoyable for sappy domesticity but nothing more. Still, I always give extra credit for the diabetes-inducing sugar content and rewatch capacity.

Requested by the lovely @l1xyz

FYI: I judge “underrated” on the strength of what I see people talk about (or more precisely not talk about) on social media, MDL reviews, and YouTube watch numbers (when available, as compared to comparable shows from the same country). 

Because of this, statistically, there will always be quite a few BLs that are difficult to get hold of.

Here's my pulls of the Top Underrated BLs prior to 2021. Considering the amount of content generated over the last few years, the pool to draw from is likely about the same.

My Top 10 Most Underrated BLs prior to 2021

Seven Days

Restart after Come Back Home

Wish You

Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding

He’s Coming to Me

Oxygen

My Day

Most Peaceful Place

HIStory 2: Right or Wrong

HIStory: Obsessed

I'd throw Great Men Academy in there, but I always dither over whether it actually is a BL.

[harrystylesfan2686]

Pieces Part 3

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Summary: the aftermath of the break up has different effects on both, Azriel and Reader.

A/N: yall I'm sick🥲 the updates might be late but I'll try to post as much as possible. Hope you like this one!

Pieces Masterlist

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It's been one month.

One month of Healing.

When azriel left, I told myself that I will not contact him until I'm ready. Doesn't matter how much I'm missing him or wanting him. I will not talk to him until I know I won't take him back the second I see him again.

I gave myself two days. Two days to sulk all I wanted. I spent the whole time crying and feeling miserable about myself. Before Az left at least, I wasn't by myself. At least I saw him once a day.

Now? Nothing.

I am totally alone. His absence hit me Hard. Everything I saw, almost brought me to my knees.

The kitchen where we would make dinner together, laughing and joking with each other that many times ended with us covered in flour and syrup.

The couch where we would sit cuddling and talking until we fell asleep, always waking up with strained muscles.

His office where he would sit on his chair in front of his desk, writing out reports and whatnot while I sit in his armchair reading my book. Just enjoying each others company and occasionally taking breaks to make out on the very deck, and then some.

After those dreadful days though, I called Feyre and Mor and had a very much needed girls night. We took out a wine bottle and I spilled everything to them. My mind was too drunk to think my feelings about Elain might offend Feyre but she genuinely felt sad for me and embarrassed about her sister. The poor girl even apologised to my about Elain's behavior to which I immediately told her it wasn't her fault.

When I told them how lonely it got being alone in a big house like this, they suggested maybe I should get a job or something to keep my mind distracted and promised that they'll visit me often. So I did juat that.

I found a part time job at a local library. I have to admit, I'm really enjoying it. I'm the second assistant to the sweetest lady, Hilda, who owns the shop. I don't do much, just help her in small things like adjusting books on self or helping in shipping books out or in. Layla, the first assistant, handles most of the work around the shop. My job is basically doing what she asks of me. The salary isn't much but I don't care because it's never been about money.

The first week was very hard. Everyday after I came home, the silence felt like a slap on the face, reminding me of everything I lost.

But, slowly, I became comfortable with it. Now it's doesn't hurt me as it did before.

There were many times when I think of Azriel, tears filled my eyes, but I never let them free. I sucked them in and did anything else that didn't made me cry, like taking baths, baking my favorite chocolate brownies, reading in front of the fire place while drinking hot coco or calling my friends to take me shopping.

And as time went. I started to heal. I started to feel good, happier with myself. And without even realizing it, I started to love myself.

-☆-

Azriel

It's been one month.

One month of regretting everything I did to my mate.

I've spent my whole month sulking in this room, crying and regretting everytime I chose Elain over my wife. I haven't slept at all since I came here, just enough to keep me functioning. My appetite is gone. I don't eat unless Rhys come and force feeds me like I'm some baby.

I told Rhysand and Cassian everything the first morning i stayed here. Which earned me a flick to head by Cassian and a very disappointed look from Rhys. Even though they didn't give me any scolding(which I very much deserved), the flick and expression said enough.

Rhys has refrained me of any work, handling it himself or having someone else do it. While I have been sitting around here and hating myself. It seems like even my mind has declared itself an enemy, showing me memories of everytime I dismissed Y/N and hurt her in any way at most random times, cutting a deeper cut in my heart everytime.

"Hey Az, I was thinking if we could go out for dinner tonight? There is this new amazing restaurant I saw while walking near Sidra. I really want to try it." She told me as I put on my coat, ready to go.

"I can't, I have a mission for today. Rhys told me it's important so I can't skip. We'll go some other time. Okay?"

"Ok."

I could hear the excitement in her voice when she asked me and the hurt when I rejected her and promised to go another time. The time never came. She never asked again. And I never noticed.

"Az, are you awake?" She whispers in the dead of night. Both of us sleeping on the bed. My back to her, hoping to fall asleep quickly because I have early training tomorrow.

Cassian is spending time with Nesta more, so Rhys has told me to go to an illyrian camp to check how things are going. I have to wake and go there early to catch them off guard to see what's truly going on.

I can't do that if Y/N doesn't let me sleep.

I didn't answer her that night, hoping if i dont respond, she'll think im asleep and doesnt call me again. She really didnt call me again. I prioritized my sleep over her. Her voice sounded so small. She needed me. And I didn't care.

"So, I saw a really cute baby in garden today and..." I drone out her babbling and try to quickly I can get out of here, I promised Elain to help in her garden today. She'll be disappointed if I show up late.

"Az? You're listening to me right?" She suddenly questions, I clear my throat and answer a small, of course, she nods and takes a deep breath, not saying anything anymore. I sign in relief of the silence.

I put my head in my hands and tug hard on my hair, wanting to feel hurt, hurt the kind that she clearly felt and I didn't care.

I hate myself more and more as memories flash through my mind. I can't even cry at this point. I wished she'd hit me when we fought. Slaped and paunched some sense into me. I don't blame her at all for not talking to me. Gods, I wouldn't even blame her if she left me. I deserve it.

How do I fix this?

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Taglist: @cleverzonkwombatsludge @crazylokonugget @going-through-shit @wallacewillow0773638 @kalulakunundrum @cat-or-kitten

[starrdevereauxx]

I said last time would be the last time.

Brandon broke up with me 6 months ago. I’ve been a wreck for weeks on end. I promised myself to get over it, but it’s been such a hard thing to process. We would always fight, make up, make love and act like nothing ever happened. He was gone this time. This was the longest we ever been apart.

I try to find things to do to pass the time, but nothing ever seems to take my mind off him. I still smell him, breathe him, and feel him through my body. Our mutual friends always give messages about him, but I’ve been ignoring them lately. My heart can’t take listening to his name, let alone hearing of any accomplishments.

I need to run my errands today, but like everyday I become sad running them alone. We did everything together, after 6 years I can’t believe that we don’t do this anymore.

Heading to the grocery store I become sad with my list of groceries for one instead of two. I hop in my car and turn on “our” playlist. Hoping I can borrow a feeling from any song that plays. Another slow song begins to play and I’m seeing myself in the mirror. Envisioning him touching me, wishing my hands were his. Rubbing the side of my face, choking me ever so lightly. I literally just felt my pussy drip at this light.

“Get it together Dev” I say trying to convince myself that I’m over him. Knowing damn well I’m not. I can feel him inside my pussy when I think about him. The feeling intensifies with every breath I take.

I gather myself to go inside of the store, with my lonely list of single items. Looking at the list I just remember every single meal I ever made for him. Pouring my heart into each meal, now I can only make food for myself. I sob gathering myself for this lonely trip.

I walk through the store, gathering each item reluctantly. Wishing we were laughing together, talking about what we gonna pretend to watch on Netflix when we got back home. Saying pretend because it we wouldn’t make it pass the opening credits without his chocolate snicker veined dick engorged in my throat. He would be gagging me before we knew the name of the movie.

After looking at my cart, I figured I deserved a treat. I tried to maintain a healthy cart since I’m single, I need to stay in shape. The most physical activity I get is the gym these days, so I had to maintain some resemblance of care in my food intake. But with all the crying that I’ve been doing, today I deserve a treat. I decided to head back to the ice cream isle and help myself to something to lift my spirits.

As I walk to the back of the store with my headphones on, I’m letting Chris Brown sing me to a happy place. I almost begin to get a spring in my step as he’s talking about fucking someone back to sleep.

I make it to the ice cream section and I immediately look for Ben & Jerry’s tasty ass. I see it, straight ahead “Chunky Monkey”. I move my cart out of the way to reach for it. As I get ready to reach for the pint, I feel some thing grab me, startled I think I’m in trouble for climbing inside the refrigerator. Moving my headphones so I can hear, a deep, smoldering voice says

“that’s still your favorite ice cream I see, even though I also remember that your monkey was the only chunky I ever wanted”.

I’m fucking stuck. There’s only one voice I know that sounds like that, and my pussy dripping is letting me know exactly who it is.

“Brandon, oh wow. It’s crazy seeing you here. How are you?” I gulp nervously.

“You look good Dev, time has been good to you. But then again when has it not?” Brandon says as he looks at me like he’s about to take my throat from me right here in this store.

As I prepare to answer him, someone loudly over talks me.

“Babe, BABE.. do you want movie popcorn or kettle corn?” I turn to see a bubbly perky breasted young lady yelling to her significant other about popcorn. I turned back around to see if I see him, just for my heart to sink as I realize that there’s nobody here but me and Brandon here. She’s talking to him. Oh my God, he has a girlfriend.

“I’m so sorry ma’am, I was just trying to get a hold of my fiancé, I didn’t mean to bump you, my apologies” she smiles.

“Kettle Corn baby, thank you” he replies.

She skips off to honor his request. I stand there putting my broken heart back in my chest, not making it obvious that I’m literally breaking apart inside. FIANCÉ!?!? What in the fuck is this? After 6 years together, he never asked me to marry him. I’m even more convinced that it was never going to be me.

“Well congratulations to you and your fiancé, you deserve happiness. Be well Brandon.” I say tearfully as I run off, forgetting my ice cream. At this point I just want to disappear.

I get to the register, pay for my items and hurry to my car.

It was a long walk to my car. I always parked far from stores because I loved to get my steps in. Every step counts to me. So I had enough time to cry myself to the car and be over it by the time I started my car.

I open my trunk and back seat to place my purse down as I organize my groceries in the back, just incase if I needed room for a surprise bullseye store trip. I think after that encounter, I deserve some retail therapy now.

As I near the finish of my organization, I feel someone tap me from behind and say “I thought we discussed you parking way the hell back here. Nobody can see you back here.” Brandon says with what looks like chunky monkey ice cream in his hands.

“What the fuck are you doing back here? Where’s your fiancé? Why are you here? I-“ he stops me mid sentence, placing the ice cream in my hand.

“I’m sorry, I should have told you about Keisha. You didn’t deserve to find out like this” he says looking at me sincerely.

“You don’t owe me anything, we are over. It’s your life. We have both clearly moved on.” I say proudly, pretending that I don’t feel like bending over right now and letting him turn me into a Twinkie.

He stares at me in my eyes with a look I haven’t seen in so long, but I remember well. I break contact and go back to packing my car so I can leave this awkward encounter.

He grabs my arm forcefully, making me drop my car keys in the backseat. Turning me towards him, forcing me to look at him. I begin to tear away in anger because I’m loosing control to my body.

“Get the fuck off me Brandon, what in the hell is your problem. Let me the fuck go.”

I try to break free from his grip. I feel his dick literally growing with anticipation the more I fight.

He stops me and looks me in my eyes. He’s subdued me with his piercing glare. He presses up against me, placing his hands on my body. One softly but firmly on my neck and the other on my left breast, lightly massaging it and grazing the nipple ever so softly. My breathing becomes shallow and scattered. What is he doing? Why is he doing this? Isn’t his fiancé near by or in the car wondering where he is. I’m sure she’s looking for him. In this moment, I don’t think either one of us cares. My pussy is wet and gushing between my panties that I know is drenched at this point.

“I know you feel what I feel for you. I haven’t had a day go by that I haven’t thought about you Dev. We broke up, but never really let go. If you tell me to let you go right now, I’ll stop and walk away forever. You want me to stop?” He says while looking me in my dough eyes. I have no voice to even reply. My red lips are pursed and parted from the small breaths I continue to take. I shake my head no while staring him completely in his eyes.

He leans onto me, kissing me softly, hand still wrapped around my neck. He kisses my lips softly and becomes more aggressive every time he touches his lips to mine. He parts my lips to slide his tongue inside my mouth, I close my mouth to proceed to suck his tongue. Feeling now that his dick is rock hard.

“Show me that you still love me” he says as I’m already unbuckling his jeans. I drop to my knees and open my mouth. Giving him my entire throat to use as he pleases. Forcing my head on and off his dick, using my mouth as his personal pocket pussy. Grabbing both sides of my face, moaning loudly in this parking structure like we are outside alone. He literally has no fear of being caught in this moment. Brandon’s dick is so deep down my throat that he’s breathing for the both of us.

I feel his precum slip pass my lips. He stops. He pulls me off my knees and stands me up, just to pull down my leggings, revealing my cummed in panties. He begins to take his dick to rub my clit while I stand there defenseless.

Brandon forcefully turns me around, placing me in position. I automatically arch the posture of my back, taking my hands to spread my giant ass to show my wet dripping pussy that’s salivating for his erection to be inside me.

“Such a good girl, still obedient like I remember. Tell me what you want” he orders me.

“Fuck me hard please. Take my pussy from me” I say patiently waiting for him to beat my pussy like an Undertaker versus Mankind cage match.

He forces his dick inside my tight wet pussy, moaning hard as he enters. I grip him hard with my pussy as he’s thrusting aggressively in and out of me.

He’s pulsating inside of me as he’s moving. I’m feeling every inch of him as he’s continuing to grow inside of me. Just moving back and forth, harder and harder. I’m moaning so loud and hard, tears in my eyes from how good it feels to have his dick inside me. Holding my breasts as he’s making me take his dick roughly outside where everyone can see.

“Oh my God Dev, you’re gonna make me cum. I’m about to cum. Do you want it in your favorite place?” He says as I scream out “Yes” in reply.

I fall to my knees like a sinner who needs prayer, open my mouth to the heavens and wait for him to bless me. He releases an outpouring of his creaminess all over my face and mouth, as I devour every drop that hits my throat.

He moans as he shakes out every drop til he’s empty. I swallow the rest of him and what’s left of my pride as he kisses me in completion. My pants still around my ankles, he grips my ass holding me in place as he continues to kiss me softly.

I buckle his pants as he helps me with mine. I brush my hand across his face and we embrace each other knowing that he has to go.

“Goodbye Brandon.” I kiss him on the cheek. He walks away silently. Staring back a few times before he’s out of my view.

I said last time would be the last time.

Happy Monday 💋

[factual-fantasy]

I realized we know the least about the river person in ya au.

Care to remedy that?

Well to be honest.. not a whole lot has changed about her. I keep forgetting she exists and I don't have a lot of ideas for how she could interact with the group..

Though speaking of her, recently I tried to dig into her character a little more and I started by making a redesign for her. Although its only the first pass and Isn't official yet-

And despite my attempts, for now her story and character is still relatively the same..

She was just a lonely boat keeper. She would come home from her shifts to a gloomy house where no one was waiting for her. No family, no friends.. no pets or hobbies.. she didn't really have anything going on except for running the boat. And to be honest.. she was kind'a okay with that in a way. She just accepted that this was her life, and this is how she lives. And its not like she had no joy in her life. Her joy came from running the boat.

She would take all kinds of people down the river, and they would talk to her. They would tell her wonderful things. The children would talk about their hopes and dreams. What they wanted to be when they grew up.. what their favorite food was. They'd tell her about that crazy looking frog they saw on the way here.

The elderly would tell her stories of all the places they'd been and all the things they'd seen. And even if they didn't talk to her directly.. she still overheard some interesting conversations. The young couples would talk about what they were planning on naming their first child. They would talk about what they wanted their house to look like and how many pets they wanted to have.

And sometimes the people on the boat didn't talk at all. Sometimes they looked sad and wouldn't look up from their feet.. So she would sing to them. And when they got off she would tell them "I hope you're day gets better. I enjoyed your company." And the few times she got a smile back made it all worth it.

She put her value of herself and her life on the people around her. Transporting people from point A to point B and occasionally cheering people up.. was all the worth she really felt she had..

But then Jevil and his group came along for a boat ride. Half way down the river Jevil breaks out in a cold sweat and starts to shake. Somethings wrong.

"This world is about to end." The group perks up "What?"

Grabbing Seams sleeve beside him he says louder and frantically "THIS WORLD IS ENDING"

Jevil jumps up and makes a mirror below the water large enough to swallow the boat whole.

As they fall through the mirror, horrible soul breaking sounds can be heard as that timeline collapses in on itself.

The boat probably landed in a snowdin somewhere.. or maybe another waterfall? Or maybe in a dark world.. where ever it landed, Jevil was looking the group over when he saw River Person..

"Where.. am I?"

He had done it again. Ripped someone out of its AU just as it was dying...

I intended for River person to have some kind of survivors guilt. Thinking her life had no real value and that anyone else in her AU deserved to have been saved in her place. Almost the opposite of Grillby.

Grillby hates Jevil becuase he valued his life and lost everything he held dear.. River Person doesn't hate Jevil for saving her at all. She's not sad about losing her life becuase she never really had one.. She's just grieving for all those people who died and wishes any of them could have been saved in her place.

The guilt really eats her up inside..

[inlovewithquestionablecharacters]

Frank Castle X Reader: Spaghetti and meatballs

This post contains explicit content (minors dni)

Warnings: Smut, creampie, oral(male receiving), nipple play, rough sex, explicit depictions of sexual activities, unprotected sex, penetration (p in v), use of birth control, dirty talk, cursing, dry humping, size kink(kind of), bit of begging, pet names, fluff, sad feelings, ptsd.

Summary: Your curiosity about your new neighbor lead to unexpected consequences.

This man deserves the world

He didn’t know why he did it. Maybe he missed not hiding who he was. Maybe the lies were making him forget the truth of his identity. Or maybe he was just a lonely man looking for some comfort. Comfort you were more than happy to give him.

The apartment was shitty, the building was falling apart and you could never have a moment of peace and quiet since the thin walls allowed everything to pass through them. Still this was home, mold stains and all. 

Frank had become used to the musty atmosphere he lived in. He'd spend most of his nights at the construction site, hacking away at the walls until his fingers bleed and the voices of his loved ones died down a bit. But they never went away. Not fully. He was grateful for the outside noise, it seemed to dampen the weight of the memories but it couldn’t erase them. He’d been living here for a while but  had never gone out of his way to introduce himself to anyone. He wasn’t looking for friends. He wasn’t looking for anything really. But you had other plans.

You’d grown curious about your mysterious neighbor. You rarely saw him in the months he lived at the building but you could hear him through the walls. You’d hear him in the middle of the night gasping for air as he awoke from another nightmare. Could hear the sound of his boots clanging against the floor as he left to god knows where in the middle of the night. Listened to the small pained grunts he’d let out as he washed up after a day of work. You knew Frank's routine like the back of your hand, still you’d never met him before. It felt a tad invasive listening to him through the walls but it wasn’t your fault they were so thin they could barely keep out the noises on the other side. You don’t know what triggered you to walk over to Frank's apartment that fateful day but it was safe to say that nothing would be the same after your decision.

Frank didn’t have visitors. Ever. So when he heard a knock on the door on a random afternoon it surprised him. He’d gone into protection mode, the years of being in the army having forced him to believe all unplanned visitors were unwanted. Frank stood to his full height as he opened the door fully expecting to be greeted by some old enemy. Instead what he got was you. Your hands shook lightly as you held onto the tupperware container you’d decided to bring over. It seemed like a nice enough thought. Bringing some food over to your neighbor sounded like a hell of a good excuse to you but it didn’t stop you from being nervous. Your anxiety tripled the moment Frank opened the door, your eyes falling on him for the first time. He was huge. Much taller than you had anticipated and much more muscular than you’d imagined. You couldn’t help but think of how handsome he was. Frank glanced down at you, his eyes falling to the container in your grasp before moving up to your eyes.

“You need something?”

Gosh his voice sounded like heaven.

“Oh uh hi, I live next door.”

You gestured to your apartment door watching as Franks glanced at where you were pointing at.

“Okay.”

“Uh well i know we’ve never met before but uhm i ended up cooking too much food and i’m not one to waste a meal so i was wondering if…uhm… maybe you’d like some?”

You were stuttering like a little kid which caused Frank's eyes to soften a smidge. He glanced down at what you were holding his eyes trying to figure out what you were offering him. 

“It’s spaghetti and meatballs.”

Frank wasn’t picky but he was careful. He was used to having enemies which made him always stay on edge but the way you were shaking was enough to tell him you meant no harm. Frank reached for the food in your hands, taking the container from you. You played with the hem of your shirt, trying your best to keep yourself occupied.

“Thanks.”

“That’s what neighbors are for.”

You gave him a smile and Frank almost stopped breathing at the sight. He’d been too busy admiring your innocent features to notice the hand you’d stuck out for him to shake. Once he realized he hesitated for a moment before gripping your palm in his. Your hand was so warm against his. You told him your name and before he could stop himself Franks told you his. He told you his real name, not the shitty fake one he’d had to come up with. He expected your face to drop into a look of fear but you continued smiling up at him, seeming completely unaware of who he was.

“Well I'll get out of your hair. It was nice meeting you, Frank.”

And with that you walked back to your apartment, leaving Frank to himself. That day was the first time in a long time that Frank had indulged in homestyle cooking and the moment he put the first bite into his mouth he knew he was screwed. The PB&J’s weren’t going to cut it anymore. Not now that he’d tasted your cooking.

Since that day Frank and you kept crossing paths whether it be in the hallway or in the elevator or even at the supermarket. Basically wherever you went you’d risk running into Frank. You tried to brush it off as a coincidence but something told you it was more than that. And your gut was absolutely right. Frank had figured out your schedule and had made it his mission to run into you as much as he could. He wanted to talk to you but he didn't know how to go about it. 

Until one fateful day. 

He’d been laying in bed trying to read one of his books when his nose caught waft of a delicious smell. Frank got up from his bed making his way towards the scent. To his surprise the smell was coming from your apartment. He knew it was odd but he’d been itching to have another decent meal for ages. One of your meals to be more precise. And now that he could smell you cooking up heaven in your kitchen he couldn't resist. He knocked at your door lightly, his feet thumping against the ground anxiously. What the hell was he doing?

“One second!”

He heard you race over to the door turning the key before opening it. You were wearing an apron and your hair was pinned up so it wasn’t in your way. He didn’t know how to explain it but the homey nature coming from you made him feel calm.

“Oh hi Frank.”

“Hey, sorry for interrupting.”

“It’s okay, what can I do for you?”

“It smells like heaven in there.”

You blushed at the praise, Frank's words making you flustered.

“Thank you. It’s a family recipe.”

You glance back at the kitchen then at the small two person table in your apartment. It had been a while since you’d had company and you were sure Frank hadn’t just strolled over to tell you your food smelled nice. You’d reached out to him weeks ago and now he was reaching back to you.

“Actually… I could use some help. If you’re not busy that is.”

“Oh I wouldn't want to impose.”

“You’re not imposing. I’d like the company.”

You stepped to the side, holding the door open for Frank.

“Come on in.”

To your surprise Frank hesitated at the door for only a moment before entering your home. 

Frank helped you cook and the two of you enjoyed a pleasant lunch together. Before you knew it you were pulling out a bottle of whiskey and offering Frank a glass. The two of you moved over to the couch, the alcohol making your tongues lose. You spent the night chatting about things like you were old friends. Frank missed this. He missed talking to people like a human being. Missed being treated like a person rather than a machine. You were nice to him in ways he’d forgotten people were capable of being. It made him forget the idea of being alone. Made him crave something other than sleepless nights alone in a rickety bed. Made him wish he had someone to hold him again. Before he could hold back things started spilling out. He told you about his family, about the things he’d done, the people he’d killed and the truth of who he was. He’d expected you to run, grab a weapon, scream for help but you didn’t do any of those things. Instead you made your way over to him, placing a hand on his face and caressing his cheek. He looked up at you, the sadness in your eyes making his heart warm up. You felt for him. And in that moment it was like a damn inside him broke. The tears started pouring out of his eyes. All the pain and hurt he’d been hiding coming out all at once. You pulled him into your arms, your hands weaving into his hair as you shushed him. Frank latched onto your waist burying his face into your chest as he sobbed.

“That’s it, let it out dear. It’s okay.”

The two of you stayed linked in each other's embrace for a while before Frank sobered up a bit. He thanked you for the food and for listening to him and you told him it was your pleasure. He could tell you were telling the truth. Just as Frank was about to close his door you yelled out to him.

“Don’t be a stranger!”

And he knew there was no going back.

In the next few weeks you and Frank grew closer. Every morning he’d walk you to work before making his way to the construction site and everynight when he’d arrive there would be a container with food at his door. On Saturdays Frank would go over to your apartment for lunch and on Sundays you’d take him to your favorite restaurants. It was easy being around you. You didn’t push too much about his past and it was nice to not have to hide who he was. You liked having someone around and Frank made you feel safe. Just knowing he was on the other side of the wall in case you ever needed him made it easier to sleep at night. It got to a point that neither of you could be seen without the other and even though you didn’t know exactly what you two were you knew it wasn’t just friendly behavior.

One night you’d woken up to the sound of Frank banging on the walls as he screamed out in anger. You got out of bed, grabbed Frank's spare key and made your way over to his apartment. You knocked lightly on the door pressing your ear to it so you could hear inside.

“Frank, are you alright?”

No response. You knew about his night terrors, he’d told you about his bad dreams and the ptsd he had to deal with. The thought of him being alone when it happened tugged at your heart. You knocked again. Still no answer.

“I’m coming in, Frank!”

You unlocked the door, pushing it open slowly before entering the dark room. Your eyes adjusted to the lack of light from inside allowing you to see the rough outline of Frank's frame on his bed. You made your way to him, your hands moving to touch his shoulders. He flinched at your touch turning to look at you, a wild look in his eyes. His gaze softened once he realized it was you.

“You okay Frank?”

“Just a nightmare. Sorry I woke you. You can go back to bed i’ll be alright.”

He wouldn't be tough. Frank knew he wouldn’t sleep a wink after that dream. He'd just lay in bed looking up at the ceiling and trying to get those foul images off of his mind. You could tell he was lying. Of course you could. You’d spent enough time observing him to know the signs.

“Can’t bullshit me, Castle. Not anymore.”

Frank glanced at you as you gave him a small smile causing him to crack a slight smirk of his own.

“Can’t keep anything from you hum darling?”

“Lay down.”

Frank did as you said his body crashing onto the mattress. His eyes followed you as you moved to lock his door before coming back to his bed. You pulled the sheets over Frank's body, tugging them up so that you could move in next to him. Frank's brows furrowed as you laid down beside him and turned to face the opposite direction.

“Nothing bad is going to happen Frank. Not now that I'm here.”

Frank's shoulders sagged at your words. God you were an angel. What the hell had he done to deserve something so pure like you? You turned around to face him, your eyes finding him in the dark.

“This okay?”

You waited for him to kick you out but he didn’t.  Instead he pulled your body flush against his, his arms wrapping around your waist as you molded into his frame. You let out a content hum, snuggling into Frank's mattress.

“Night Frank.”

“Good night.”

Frank slept like a baby that night, the warmth of your body luring him into a deep sleep. It was an innocent gesture. The only idea in your mind had been about comforting a friend. Sure you liked Frank and if he offered something more you wouldn’t deny him but that hadn’t been your intention. Not initially anyway. 

It’s funny how fast things can change. 

You woke up the next morning to the sun shining through the thin curtains and making the room warm. You moved to stretch your body, pausing once you remembered where you were. Frank let out a small hum behind you causing you to recall what you’d decided to do last night. You’d been so focused on willing yourself to remember that this was real that you hadn’t noticed Frank's hand. There was no way it’d happened on purpose. Frank's hand was underneath your shirt. And that is not all. His palm was dangerously close to your breast. If he moved an inch he’d be cupping you in his hand. You closed your eyes as you let out a sigh. No way this was real. You had to still be asleep. Just as you were about to pinch yourself Frank stirred, his nose bumping into your neck as he moved closer to you. It was then that you noticed something was prodding at your ass. Frank Castle was hard. Hard and completely unaware of what that knowledge was doing to you. You tried to wiggle yourself out of his grip and spare yourself a weird interaction but the moment you moved you realized your mistake. Your hips had pressed against Franks hard on causing him to let out a groan, his eyes opening sleepily. Your eyes widened as they made contact with Franks who trailed his gaze down your body, eyes opening wide as he noticed what was happening. Before you could open your mouth Frank had sprang out of bed, his hands moving up in surrender.

“Ah shit. I’m so sorry I didn't mean to do that.”

You watched Frank stumble over his words as he tried to tell you that he’d never disrespect you like that and that he completely understood if you never wanted to see him again but that he was truly sorry. It was sweet of him to care so much but you’d be lying if you said you were paying attention to him rumblings. Instead your eyes were glued to his crotch. Frank noticed the blank stare on your face, his eyes trailing down to find what you were looking at.

“Oh fuck.”

Frank moved his hands to cover his hard on a blush staining his cheeks as your eyes found their way to his face.

“It’s a natural thing. It’s not your fault. Not that you couldn’t cause it i mean…shit i mean i’m not saying you’re not attractive enough-”

“Frank…”

“Dear god, I'm only making this worse. I just meant it happened other times too. But yeah you being so close to me didn’t help-

“Frank!”

Castle's eyes widened as you raised your voice forcing him to shut up. Now that you’d gotten his attention you moved closer to him, kneeling on the bed before reaching for his hands. You gazed up at him with doe eyes, your small hands wrapping around his large ones.

“I wanna see.”

Frank's breath hitched at your words a groan leaving his lips as he looked at you.

“Darling you don’t-

“I want to see you. I wanna see what I did to you.”

“Ah shit.”

Frank threw his head back as you moved his hands out of the way. You cupped his member through his sweatpants making him moan. You inched yourself closer to the edge of the bed allowing your feet to hit the floor before glancing up at Frank once more.

“You gonna let me take care of you? Or am I gonna have to beg?”

“Fuck sweetheart.”

You took Frank's flushed response as an answer, your hands grabbing the waist of his pants and tugging them down. To your surprise Frank wasn’t wearing any boxers which allowed his dick to spring free. You rubbed your thighs together at the sight, eagerly getting onto your knees in front of Frank. He towered over you and you couldn’t help but imagine what it would feel like to be railed by him. You’d find out soon enough. For now you were focused on bringing Frank some relief. Heaven knows he deserves it. You palm at Frank's dick for a bit before moving your head closer to his dick, allowing him to shove himself into your mouth. You struggle to breath, the pure size of him overwhelming. 

“Ahh, would you look at that? Taking me like a good fucking girl….”

You hummed at Frank's praise making him moan at the vibrations.

“You like that huh? Like listening to me praise you?”

You nod your head slowly keeping Frank's dick nudged deep in your mouth as you do.

“Well go on then. Show me what a good girl you are and suck me off.”

You do as you're told, moving your head up and down Franks shaft at a torturous speed. He liked it though. You could tell by the way the muscles on his stomach clenched at your movements.

“Attagirl.”

Frank's hand weaves into your hair, pushing his dick even deeper which causes you to gag lightly. Your hands make their way to Franks thighs, braceing yourself as he fucked your throat. Frank couldn’t help but watch his dick disappear into your eager mouth. He wondered,not for the first time, if this was real. If this was a dream he hoped he’d never wake up. 

Frank got lost in his pleasure, fucking into you faster and faster as he sensed his orgasm coming. He was close you could tell by how he twitched in your mouth but then, just as you were about to wrap your hands around his balls, Frank pulled out. You gasped for air you chest rising and falling rapidly as you glanced up at Frank

“What’s wrong?”

“Take your shirt off.”

You gave Frank a questioning look before doing as he asked. The second he caught a glimpse of your breasts Frank was a goner. You watched him wrap his hand around his cock before moving at a rapid speed. You didn’t understand what he wanted but then it hit you. Frank Castle wanted to cum on your tits. Wanted to mark your body as his. And you’d be lying if the thought didn’t make you fucking wet. You leaned on your palms allowing your breasts to perk up a bit more.

“Come on, Castle mark me with your cum. Let everyone know I'm yours.”

That was the last straw. Your words combined with the image of you on your knees tits perked up just for him made Frank's orgasm rip out of him.

“Ah fuckkk..”

You closed your eyes feeling Frank's seed spill against your chest and run down your body, soaking into your already damp underwear. You relished the sound of Franks moaning the thought that you were the one who caused them, filling you with pride. Your eyes snapped open when you felt a pair of hands latch onto your body. You glanced at Frank's eyes for a moment before pulling him into a steamy kiss. Frank's hands wandered around your body pulling you onto his thigh as he caressed your breasts, smearing his cum on you as he went.

“Such a good fucking girl.”

“Ah Frank!”

You gasped as Frank's lips latched onto your nipple, sucking on it harshly as you wrapped your fingers into his hair. You humped Frank's bare thighs, your need overwhelming you.

“Franky…”

“Yeah baby?”

“Need you.”

“Tell me what you need.”

“Fill me up.”

“Ah shit. Dirty little thing aren’t you?”

“Only for you Franky.”

“Oh is that so?”

Franks hands grabbed at your ass squeezing your cheeks roughly which caused you to buck against him.

“Franky pleaseeee”

“Patience. I need you to cum first. Think you can do that?”

“Uhhum but I need your help.”

“I’m right here baby. Take what you need.”

You understood what Frank was saying. You moved to straddle his hips pressing your clothed cunt against his muscular thighs. Frank guided your movements by holding onto your hips. You moaned as you found a good rhythm, your hips moving on their own. In any other circumstances you would have felt ridiculous about getting off on someone without them even touching you but the look of pure awe Frank was giving you made you realize you didn’t give a shit. You kept bucking against Frank until your legs couldn’t take it anymore.

“Frank…can’t anymore-uhu- so close.”

“Want me to help baby?”

“Please.”

God he loved the sound of your voice like this, all high and whiney for him. He could live off the sight of you all flustered and desperate, rocking against his leg like a bitch in heat. If he wanted to, he could be mean. He could let you get to your orgasm by yourself but the idea of watching you fall apart was much more appealing. So instead of torturing you Frank reached into your panties, his fingers latching onto your clit and rubbing the bundle of nerves. Two seconds later Frank's name ripped out of your chest, your cum staining his thighs as you reached your orgasm. Frank collapsed backwards pulling you on top of him as he went. The two of you stayed on the ground for a moment trying to catch your breaths. Franks massaged your scalp feeling your chest move up and down as your breathing became steady. 

“You okay darling?”

“Fan-fucking-tastic.”

Frank laughed at your words which made you smile. You looked up at Frank, your hand pulling at his beard and forcing him to look into your eyes. 

“One thing would make this perfect though.”

“Oh yeah what's that?”

“You railing the shit out of me.”

You watched as Frank's eyes darkened with lust, a smirk gracing his features. You propped yourself up laying your hands flat on Frank's chest.

“So what is it gonna be, Castle? You gonna fuck me? Or am I gonna have to take matters into my own hands?”

You punctuate your question by grabbing Frank's once again hard cock in your hand making him gasp at the feeling. In a matter of seconds Frank managed to get up, his hands wrapping around your thighs as he lifted off the ground. You let out a squeal when Frank threw you onto the bed before climbing on top of your body, his hands reaching down to rip your underwear off. You watched as Frank lined himself up to your cunt. He looked up at you with a smile on his face as he watched you gulp in anticipation.

“Careful what you wish for.”

Frank thrusted himself into you without warning, causing a groan to leave your lips as he filled you up.

“Ohhhh Frank….”

“Fuck darling-ughu- so fucking tight!”

You wrapped your legs around Frank's hips for support. Frank placed a hand against the headboard as he continued to thrust into you at a rapid speed. The bed frame creaked and groaned beneath the two of you. You were a mess of moans and mumbled words. Frank wasn't much better mumbling praises about how wet you were and how good of a girl you were being. Frank had never heard you curse before today but it didn’t surprise him to find that you had a dirty mouth on you. Especially when he started toying with your clit. His dick pulsated against your walls as they clamped down on him. One expert move of his fingers had you seeing stars, your mouth slackening as you moaned out his name.

“That it baby… that's it”

“Oh Frank, don't stop!”

He had no plan on stopping. In fact he’d keep you here all day if you’d let him. He’d fuck you in every position he could. He’d dine of your body for the rest of his days. He’d suffocate inside your thighs if that's what you’d want. Anything to keep you here with him. Anything to hear those pretty noises you made. He was close. You noticed the way his thrusts were getting more and more of tempo as his legs started to burn from the rapid movements he’d been making. Frank tried to pull out of you, fully prepared to cum on your stomach but you stopped him by pushing your heels into his ass. He looked into your eyes, his hair stuck to his forehead and his eyes were almost rolling back into his head but he managed to speak.

“Gotta let me pull out baby.”

“I want you to fill me up Franky. Remember?”

“Yeah but we didn’t use a condom.”

“Don’t need to. I’m on the pill. It’s okay, baby fill me up. Mark me with your cum.”

That right there did it for him. Before he could even respond, Frank's orgasm arrived, his hips moving frantically as he filled you up to the brim with his seed. Once he was done Frank collapsed beside you, careful not to squish you with his body. You threw your arm over Frank's chest snuggling into him as he came down from his high. You stretched your neck up leaving a kiss on Frank's cheek before laying your head back down.

“Thank you.”

“For the head?”

Frank let out a laugh. Always a jokester you were.

“For that too. But I meant for reaching out. For tolerating my shit. And for not running away.”

“I’d never run from you Frank.”

Frank placed a kiss on your forehead, his hands making soothing circles against your back.

“Hey Frank?”

“Yeah doll?”

“Can we make this a part of our daily routine?”

Frank's hand found his way to your chin raising your face so you were looking at him.

“I think we can fit it in the schedule.”

You smiled against Frank's lips as he kissed you tenderly. 

Thank heavens for that extra serving of spaghetti and meatballs.

[soap-ify]

simon can't be with you anymore.

cw gn!reader , angst , hurt / no comfort, simon doesn't know what he's doing.

notes streets said that it's angstmas !! didn't know that it existed until recently. anyways, since i'm having the worst week of my life, i'm gonna ruin it for simon too.

maybe simon was being stupid.

he probably was. not that he could think of any other options besides leaving you.

his work was too dangerous, and the next deployment was probably going to be his last. especially after the recent briefing he went to where the captain spoke about the upcoming mission — a highly risky one. in fact, even the most skilled like ‘ghost’ was bound to either get severely injured or just die. probably the latter. especially since he wouldn’t be with the rest of the taskforce 141 in the fucking warzone.

just a sacrifice for the better of the world, yeah? even though a part of him didn’t want to. fuck the world. you meant so much more to him. but he had chosen this job right. he had agreed to the mission.

and after all, he never considered himself deserving of you, deserving of this relationship he had with you. he knew he was somewhat of a distant boyfriend — barely opening up about his own feelings or past. at least he had shown you his face. you didn’t deserve someone as dangerous as him, someone so… damaged.

he didn’t want to die knowing that you’d be waiting home, all sad and lonely. he didn’t want to leave you like that, but at the same time, he didn’t want to stay and just watch this sweet bubble you two were in shatter. in both ways, he had to leave you. he had to somehow make this less painful, to make it easier for you to move on.

god, he was an asshole. he knew he was. he spent the week just distancing himself from you, responding to your words with nods and grunts while barely reciprocating to your affectionate touches. his heart was breaking more and more everyday, noticing the pained look in your eyes.

he couldn’t keep doing this for much longer. eventually, he had to end this, and he did.

“we can’t be together.”

his words hit you like a brick. literally on a random friday evening. not so random now, it seemed.

“what do you mean, si…?” your voice got quieter with each word, uncertainty towards your own state of mind flooding inside you while a lump formed in your throat, restraining you from properly even speaking out. your eyes stared at him in pure confusion and heart, noticing how he was cladded in his uniform, how he wore that damn skull mask balaclava — building up those walls again that you had managed to break so easily with your love.

simon hated this. he didn’t want to see you so confused and defeated. he had to stop himself mentally from doing something irrational. he was doing this for you, for your own good. though hearing you call him ‘si’ seemed to somewhat crack his composure.

“look, we can’t be together. s’too dangerous. too risky for you. you never know when i might die.” soon, but he held himself from saying that. you didn’t need to know about his deployment, not at all.

“w-why so sudden?” your voice cracked as you tried to properly make sense of his words, emotions taking off your being while you tried to hold in the tears that had begun to sting your eyes.

too dangerous, too risky — maybe somewhere in your heart, you had known that a day like this would come. simon riley was too careful about safety, too dedicated to his work while simultaneously being madly in love. suddenly, all of his sudden distant behavior made sense, and you felt somewhat stupid. stupid for, well, everything.

he was the plague that had infected you, and now he needed to leave so you could heal.

but you never thought of him like that. he was your rock, the anchor that held you from slipping away into loneliness that had always somehow stuck with you throughout your life, a sting that only simon could soothe. it was simon who would craddle you in his arks every night, it was simon who would listen to your rambles. it was simon who your heart was so willing to give love to.

and now he was going to leave.

simon had expected you to scream, to somehow target your anger and frustrations at him. he wanted you to yell at him, he deserved it.

but you didn’t. you sniffled, beads of tears beginning to roll down your cheeks as you took a wobbly step back, too exhausted to fight back or anything.

you didn’t blame simon. how could you? even now, you couldn’t find a flaw in him. too in love? maybe.

as silence filled the living room of the apartment you used to share with him, he slowly picked up his duffel bag and sighed, trying to keep his brown eyes cold and unfeeling, to make it look like he didn’t feel remorseful, to hide his heart was threatening to tear out of his own skin.

“i’ll always love you, simon…”

you said after a few seconds, causing his head to turn over to look back at you — your eyes teary and puffy while your cheeks were streaked with tears, his hands aching to wipe them away. your voice was weak, reluctantly defeated. you know that there was no point in stopping him.

i’ll always love you too, he mentally thought, though never said.

"one final kiss...?" simon froze at your request, knowing that if he were to look at your face any longer, he'd actually stay. he sighed and pressed a soft kiss on your forehead before pulling away, brown eyes hardening up.

he gave you a final nod and exited the apartment from the front door, leaving you alone all over again, your heart torn in pieces as you fell down on your knees, shattering into pieces that no one was going to bother picking up now. only simon could, but he was gone.

simon riley had died three months after that, and you never found out. for you, ge had just disappeared, leaving no traces behind.

just a memory that you were afraid you’d forget eventually, forget his touch and his voice, forget his face — just a memory that was going to bury itself no matter how hard you may try.

[poetry-protest-pornography]

Okay, let's talk about Ming, and how some people are talking about him like he's an irredeemable monster. (It's okay that you don't know anyone who was emotionally neglected and you have a decent relationship with your parents, but it's not okay to pretend your experience is universal and everyone else is garbage)

I know some of you remember my loud defense of Ray from Only Friends, and here I am again, to fight for the loveability of the character who doesn't know what to do with all their big feelings.

Ming's family, from what we see, is not a warm, loving place for him to learn emotional intelligence.

May is pretty great, but there is only so much an older sibling can do when your parents are physically or emotionally unavailable.

Ming's mom had only been seen trying to control Ming's life, marry him off to a woman, and insisting he is incapable of being on his own. Not exactly mom of the year.

Ming is clearly incredibly lonely, and so, so sad.

He likes Tong, but mostly after his sister and Tong are already involved -- because it's safe to transfer feelings you don't understand to someone that those feelings cannot go anywhere with. When he starts to feel too much for Tong, he leaves the country, because he can't process those feelings, and he doesn't want to hurt his sister with his crush on her boyfriend.

He comes home, and he sees Joe first. His likeness to Tong is obviously what pulls Ming in, but it is very quickly apparent that Ming is genuinely interested in Joe, but he has no fucking Idea what to do with that interest.

And when Joe clearly likes him back? It gets worse. He lashes out and then feels bad, but mostly doesn't apologize, he just moves on, because apologies require reflection on what you've done wrong, and Ming doesn't know how to do that! We see him struggle with it multiple times!

He does not know how to deal with being wanted. With the expectation of care that comes with that. Because, ironically, Tong and May are the best example of a relationship he has to look at, and he had to tell Tong to go take care of May when she was sick.

His crush on Tong remains so deeply a part of his identity, even as it obviously fades, and it clouds everything because Tong uses Ming's affection for him against him! And Ming doesn't see that! He doesn't see Tong's flaws until after Joe's accident, and even then, I don't know that he acknowledges Tong's actions as cruelty and manipulation, or if he ignores that all under his own guilt and grief over losing Joe.

And this brings us back to Ming and Joe.

Ming didn't have a crush on Joe. He sort of accidentally fell into a situationship, but then became intensely possessive and obsessed with Joe. We see him be so unbelievably soft with Joe, in moments where he's allowing himself to be, to stumble through having feelings and carrying for other people. But there is so much holding on tight that Ming can't seem to turn off.

He holds on to Joe --both of them!-- so tightly. He sees threats to his claim on Joe everywhere, and he can't confront that idea, so he doubles down on being possessive, and he looks cuckoo-bananas.

But it really just reads to me like he doesn't know what to do with feelings! I know people --especially ND people, who needed a little extra help to learn how to person -- who had emotionally neglectful parents and didn't understand healthy attachment until years of therapy and some determined friends got involved.

I don't have the greatest track record for "healthy attachment", and lean towards codependent in a lot of my relationships.

Some of the people I love the most are "hold on tight even when it's not good, because if I let go you'll leave" people.

They are absolutely deserving of someone who loves them. They deserve a happy ending and middle, too. They deserve the chance to learn and grow and become better versions of themselves.

(and they deserve people to love and cheer for them even when they're being assholes and throwing tantrums and hurting people because they are still learning how not to do that)

AND THIS DOESN'T EVEN TOUCH ON HOW JOE ALSO MISSED A LOT OF EMOTIONAL LESSONS, BUT IT MADE HIM UNHINGED IN A TOTALLY DIFFERENT WAY THAN MING!

Idek if this is coherent, or everything that I wanted to say, but here it is, my treatise on why Ming is my baby, actually, and why I will defend him until he is either better or actively worse.

ETA: what Ming has done is obviously not okay, reasons are not excuses, but I do think he deserves a chance to learn. and to tell Joe he loves him.

[tommygrace]

The people on YouTube are true fans of the show and what they say about the relationship between Tommy and Grace is beautiful. These are some of the comments:

"He didn't have great day, but the seconds he sees her his face lights up. And the way he keeps caressing her face , it melts the heart. He only did this with Grace."

"Grace is so adorable in this scene, she's the only one I'll accept for Tommy."

"Grace face expressipns just show happy she is marrying to tommy. Smiling and chukling more often than before... The actress nailed the grace character so well. You can feel her love for tommy."

"The way he looks at her and this soft aspect of him that we only see when Grace is around ❤️❤️"

"Grace was Tommy’s last light."

"He was never like this with lizzie and all the other girls."

"Tommy never got that happiness again after Grace's death. No woman could make that again not even Lizzie. I'm so sad Grace died so soon. They had barely a few moments of happiness😢"

"I like how she jumps on him at the end. Such natural chemistry between these two actors. Their relationship really felt real."

"Finishing the series and watching it again, its crystal clear Grace was the love of his life. He was just never the same without her 😢 he was so in love with her, both of them."

"The way he look at her.."

"I love the fact that after getting the Sapphire he decided to get a nacklace crafted for 'Grace' and nobody else... She was always on his mind..."

"She’s so happy to see him omg I love them."

"Yes. Everybody's talking about Tommy being in love with her but Grace was so in love with him too. ❤"

"They are perfection. This scene is just absolute cathartic perfection. From the fact she RUNS to greet him to the way that Mary admonishes her like a Mother. Arrow House was so fucking happy once. This was the life they deserved, he arrives home dead on his feet after being held hostage and he doesn't give a fuck because he's home. The way she's so excited for the letter is contagious and he cares, he genuinely CARES. He's not sat there mutely as she talks to him, he doesn't stop her from talking or distract her or come onto her. He sits and listens. He's just infatuated with her the - 'yes I am. I am.' Then the good wife comment and he's just like 'No.' Don't want a good wife, I just want you. It's just such a raw, intimate moment and the thought that this happened every time she came home soothes my little broken heart. How anyone can say she wasn't the love of his life or the best thing that ever happened to him I have no clue. She gave up her entire life for him and they built an empire in those two short years. Killing her off was a travesty and such a waste of both the character and the actress. Tommy was made to be with Grace and when she died, he died with her. He never recovered. Not with Lizzie or with the children, nobody. On a cold, dark lonely night it will be back here that he goes. Not back to his wife."

"The way he looks at her when he comes in 😩🥺🥺 it was a bad day but he knew she was home waiting on him 🥰🥰"

"She brought out the good and saw him as a man despite his power and position. They loved the parts of each other no one else truly did. His face lights up when she’s around no matter what. She was the one for him, nice to see that soft side of him."

"One of my fovourite scenes. They look so happy, paceful, soft...I miss their relationship😍"

"I really want her to come back... their chemistry is no joke... i want them to have their happily ever after."

"If Grace is in his arms then everything is alright for Tommy."

"I believe Grace's name is allegorical, since Tommy was the most happy n closest to peace while she was around him, which was for a very short time. The only 'grace' in his damned life."

"Thanks for uploading this scene. I loved when there were scenes of Grace and Tommy in their bedroom. I luv when Tommy said to Grace " come here" , so powerful, like I am your man and you are my woman. Also notice how that bedroom was set up so warm and romantic . The set crew really took time in creating this loving bedroom."

"She was his everything and his queen! He was at peace with her in his arms."

"So many people hating on Grace, but she was one of the few who called him out on his shit and snapped him out of his funk. She had seen him at his worst, when he was but a shell of a man striving to rise to the top. He was always most vulnerable around her and didn't bother hiding his true self because of this . The other women wouldn't have batted an eye at him, had he not been rich or influential."

"The change in him after 'tomorrow it will be just us'. He gives a little breath before calling her over like, 'just us' I've survived the day, now just the night and then 'just us'. Just us was all he ever wanted."

"This was the only time when he was at peace. With grace. The moment she died he was never the same."

"Man she is all he ever wanted. 🥺"

"When grace died Tommy was never really happy the rest of the show."

"This was the again after her death its clear that he will never love again, he will never be the person he was when he had her😔."

"I love how her name was Grace, since grace is the one thing Tom needed in his life and made him graceful to others- and when Grace was gone, grace was also gone out of his heart."

"Those words, and the context of who is saying them, make this scene a flawless example of what makes a man and a woman, together, creating something that wasn't there before."

"He was so full of happiness and joy 🥹."

"0:53 "Promise me, hm? A wedding vow". It melts my heart when she asks this, being so in love."

"The acting is incredible, especially her being in love with him. It feels so real, and the piano music elevates this; it emphasises their intimacy. Her love is so honest and pure."

"This scene kills me every time. They were just perfection. That smile at 1:40. The negotiated dance. The softness in him 😭 why she had to die I’ll never know. She could have been such an incredible instrument in the show. Amazing actress and character."

"Adore this scene. So beautiful and sweet."

I cried when she died , they were just perfect together. The only time Tommy was happy was with Grace."

"The part that killed me was after Grace was shot and she was dying in Tommy’s arms and they cut to a wide shot and we could see her almost caressing his back, soothing his pain as she died. Maybe it wasn’t intentional but, it was a very powerful touch before they cut away. Such a fantastic show…"

"Grace was his one and only❤…he was never the same without her."

"Their relationship from beginning to end gave me chills. They did so well with these characters and their chemistry and sexual tension."

"tommy explicitly said he doesn't believe in God, and confessing to grace in a church is something i perceived that she is the only one he believes in and will save him from his sins... grace is tommy's religion ❤️‍🔥"

"The chemistry between these two, Cillian Murphy and Annabelle Wallis, is electric. Fantastic actor & actress because I'm shocked they're not married in real life with how great this is. I wish they'd get more couple roles together! Another on-screen couple in recent times I've seen with this electric chemistry is Brandon Sklenar and Julia Schlaepfer in 1923, this stuff is mesmerizing to me."

"S1 is my all time favourite. Tommy and Grace were so special. This conversation was absolutely brilliant, pureness of their emotions (symbolised by the church) amidst the lies and dangers lurking over their heads. Her presence was heavily missed in s6.😢"

"Season 1 and 2 are the highlights of deep storytelling and fantastic writing. After that the story starts to get convoluted and it is the fantastic acting that keeps people hooked."

"A brilliant scene, simple yet melancholic. They spoke so succinctly, to the point that each and every word spoken is like its weight in gold. It's just so mesmerising."

"I think that’s the sweetest on screen kiss I’ve seen yet 🥲."

"I’m still so bitter about her death 😭 I know that Tommy isn’t meant to be happy, but I would’ve loved to see Grace’s character grow alongside Tommy’s. I also think that Grace, Ada, and Polly would’ve created an amazing bond and relationship. And they would’ve been lethal for the Peaky Blinders organization. When Mosley said to Tommy that he wanted to sleep with Lizzie when Tommy invited him over to Lizzie’s bday party ballet celebration, I’ve always wondered what Tommy’s reaction would’ve been if instead of Lizzie, it was Grace who Mosley wanted to sleep with. I’m sure he would’ve lost his marbles right then and there. Grace just brought out a different side of Tommy and I love seeing that contrast in a character (the good, the bad and the ugly ). Can’t wait for the movie, though! It’s going to be EPIC!"

"I want to cry, they were so pure when they allow their feelings to flow 💓😭💕".

"Grace and Tommy...A match made in heaven❤️."

"Tommy's swith was completly off after her death,he was never the same."

"I love so much these two together. ♥"

"I love them and miss them the most a lot."

"I loved every scene Tommy and Grace were with each other. They had great chemistry together. This couple could have had so much potential but instead the writer decided to break Tommy's heart and soul so early and make him live in hell for the rest of his life. 😭So sad."

"Poor Tommy she was perfect for him and her death tore him apart."

"I want to see them together, please give us a proper closure in the movie."

"I think it was wrong to have Lizzie and Tommy together afterwards. Grace was the high standard. No other female character can replicate Tommy and Grace’s chemistry."

"Here it is shown that Grace is always going to be the great love of his life. His mind is so damaged that just imagining Grace's ghost brings him to a state of peace, because she is the only one who can make him feel better."

"When she embraced him I was ready to burst into tears. Just bring her back! 🥺."

"Maybe my heart broke all over again."

"She is the love of Tommy's life and the love for his life too. Tommy was a romantic guy who laughed, but because of the trauma of war he became a gangster to take the pressure and survive. He never loved this life, he lives like this because it is the only way. In addition to making him forget the terror of war, she was the only one to present an alternative (for 2x). He would be happy and could work with horses and cars legally without worry."

"i think this is the best scene in the entire show... I was very moved by it and i rarely get moved by anything...it captured beautifully how alone tom is ... opiates by the fire talking to his wife's ghost..i can't think of anything more lonely."

"0:55 his little smile when she starts to speak. so sad 💔."

"Grace is Tommy’s only love ❤️ I miss Grace so much 🥺🥺."

"True fooking love. No one can come close to Grace periodt. Give her a fooking role already".

"Look how relieved Tommy looked for a sec when he was embracing her 😥."

"I loved the chemistry between Tommy and Grace and I wanted to see more of Tommy and Grace and I was heartbroken when she died cause I wanted her to be with Tommy till the end of the series but sadly she had to die for the sake of storyline but still she’s my fav female character in the whole series. Tbh Annabelle is really so beautiful and gorgeous that she can make anyone fall in love with her".

"Lizzie is no where close to grace..I really wished she got to play a double role..."

"they were made for each other."

"Best scene in the series ever. the most happiest, normal, and peaceful moment Tommy ever had."

"Admit it, we all wanted this wedding to happen as soon as he met grace."

"When the tune kicked in after revealing it was Grace. Amazing."

"4:02 lol tommy wanted to kiss her forever, Grace had to be like "enough" love their love."

"The happiest days of Thomas life!"

*The shelby family is so happy that day."

"Finally!! he really loved her i was afraid they are not gonna get married."

"Tooo much love in this episode ❤"

"Tommy was so lost after poor Grace died."

This has to be one of the happiest moments in Tommy's life."

"Never saw Tommy happier and more complete than at this moment."

"His smile at 0.12 is ❤"

"Cillian Murphy said it best “There’s always a sense of healing when he’s with Grace, but that healing goes away very quickly”"

"I am so glad that someone posted this.. this scene is beautiful. For once Tommy is happy.. like really happy. It's nice that they showed one scene like this in the series. I really wanted to see that since they fell in love."

"Tommy loved his wife and son so much, poor guy lost his true happiness."

Dedicated to every Grace fan. People love them, just like all of us, Team Grace!

[linawritestwst]

Hi! Can I request headcanons for Rollo, Malleus, Jamil, and Azul being jealous on how the Perfect dotes on the first years and Grim? Thank you!

rollo, malleus, jamil and azul being jealous because of you doting on the first years and grim (gn!reader)

this is such a cute request, thank you so much for sending it!

and WOW THESE ARE JEALOUSY HCS AND I DIDN'T MAKE THEM TOO SAD OR SCARY?? LET'S GO THESE CHARACTERS ARE NOT SUFFERING TONIGHT

rollo flamme.

♡ personally, i don't think rollo is the type to get jealous easily. he certainly does get jealous, but it's not like he sees you having fun with someone and immediately goes "that's it, they don't actually like me". in fact, he actually trusts you enough to believe that you would never betray him like this and he prefers to put the blame on people who you hang out with. this is their fault, not yours. so when he first notices how close you are with the first years and grim, he doesn't think much of it, they're just your friends, of course, you're allowed to talk to them and hang out with them. and he hates to say it, but.. eventually he does get a bit anxious when he starts feeling like he doesn't get enough attention from you.

♡ rollo tries to stay calm and think logically, he knows that you love him and he loves you, so he tries really hard to ignore his feelings of loneliness and assures himself that he's not being "left out". of course, you'd be closer with nrc students, that's the school you go to, after all. but no matter how hard he tries to respect and accept that, he still can't help but feel like.. he's not that important to you, maybe? again, he knows that you love him, but he really wishes you would pay more attention to him. it's selfish of him, he knows, but maybe he can be a little selfish just this one time?

♡ he would avoid mentioning this topic for some time, but in the end he does talk to you about it, even though he really doesn't want to and he hopes you forgive him for being so rude and insensitive. you can actually see him blush a little bit when he confesses that he's been feeling kinda lonely without you around. you even get distracted for a second because of how cute that face expression is. but of course, you take this seriously and you thank rollo for being honest and having the courage to open up to you. hehe, he's already making progress, he would never admit something like this when you just started dating.

♡ you promise that you'll spend a lot more time with him from now on and you say you're sorry for not noticing how rollo's been feeling, you really thought that he won't think much of you hanging out with grim and the first years so often.. man, you feel guilty now, even though you go to different schools, you should show your boyfriend that you love him more often. oh, you've got an idea! what about spending the entire weekend with him? if anything happens while you're gone, nrc students can solve that problem without your help, you deserve a break. you just hope no one is gonna overblot while you're here.. if it does happen, you will just stop trying to convince rollo that magic is not that dangerous, haha.

malleus draconia.

♡ on the other hand, it doesn't take much time for malleus to get jealous. it's not like he's possessive or anything, it's just.. you know, the thought of someone who's so precious to him leaving him terrifies malleus and he starts panicking the moment he sees that image in his mind. he also tries to calm himself down and he acts like everything is perfectly fine when you ask him about it, but don't be surprised if the weather suddenly becomes much worse when he's feeling like this. he's actually not that good at controlling his emotions.

♡ to say that the first years are scared of how malleus looks at them would be an understatement. they actually think this guy is going to kill them if they even simply say hi to you. it's even kinda funny because of malleus glaring at them when they're talking to you and then starting to act like this pouty child when you notice him and try to ask what happened. no, malleus, something is obviously wrong, don't try to evade the question. other diasomnia students start to get worried about him too, especially those who are closest to him like lilia, silver and sebek. sebek is so ready to find those who made his master sad and he has no idea that he's one of the culprits.

♡ silver wants to know the truth as well, but he respects malleus's feelings and lilia would prefer malleus to do everything without his help, he's not a kid anymore after all at least that's what malleus says.. but it looks like malleus could definitely use his advice, so yeah, this guy is here to try and save your relationship. he eventually does convince malleus to tell you how he's been feeling lately and he also asks malleus to stay calm during the entire process. no temper tantrums this time. you are his s/o, he has to be honest with you, but he also has to be mature about it. and yes, malleus has to have that conversation with you, you're a smart person, but it doesn't mean that you have to try and figure out what's been going on with malleus by yourself when he can just tell you everything.

♡ and malleus does tell you the truth, but in the end he actually does cry a little. and yes, it ends up raining, but you're used to this kind of stuff, so you just pull out your umbrella and ask him to continue. it must be something important if he's feeling so sad. when it's over, you apologize to malleus for making him feel like this and you swear that you love him with all your heart and you would never want him to feel this lonely. you do think that it's cute of him to get jealous like this though.. oh no, did you just say that out loud? oh well, expect your boyfriend to act more overprotective on purpose now. come on, didn't you just say that this kind of behavior is cute? if you like it this much, he will never let you go <3

jamil viper.

♡ jamil usually doesn't take something like this seriously. that's just you talking to your familiar and first year students, what's so bad about that? it's good that you have so many friends, jamil is not surprised that a person like you is so popular. he's even proud of you, really.. and this is why he feels even worse for wanting you to spend less time with those people (and the cat) and more time with him. why would he wish for something like that? that sounds so childish, it's not like jamil at all.. and then one day kalim notices how jamil looks at you laughing at some freshmen's jokes and goes "what, are you jealous or something? :D" jamil hates to admit that kalim is right.

♡ he tries to ignore those feelings and he hopes that he will just stop caring about all of it one day. it's gonna be fine, it's actually not that serious, you're just helping these freshmen to get used to this new school, you're just trying to stop grim from getting in trouble, jamil should stop worrying about it. he's still your boyfriend, he's still important to you, you're obviously not gonna forget about him.. then why does he still feel like you're gonna leave him one day? it's actually a different kind of jealousy, not the "they love that person more than me" kind, but rather something like.. jamil wants you to see how great he truly is. he doesn't mind you doting on those people (and again, the cat), but sometimes it feels like you actually think jamil is not worth spending time with. at least that's how he feels.

♡ he does need some time before he can talk to you about this, but he does mention feeling a bit weird when he sees you with grim and those first years. no, no, that's not the right word, he doesn't just feel weird, he's jealous. that's right, he said it. he's not happy about it either, but he felt like you have to know the truth. if you want a loving and healthy relationship, you should be honest with each other, right? so.. yeah, he's jealous because sometimes he feels like he's inferior to those freshmen and that's not true at all, he knows that he's good at many things! he just.. doesn't know if you know that. so maybe, um, you could pay more attention to him? you probably haven't noticed it, but he's always trying hard to impress you.

♡ you listen to him and you're glad jamil talked to you about this, it certainly helped you understand him better. however, you can't help but jokingly ask if he has also felt inferior to grim at some point. this helps break the awkward silence and jamil even laughs a little because of how sudden and ridiculous your question is. like, how did you even get that idea? thankfully, jamil is not THAT insecure. you laugh and promise that you're gonna be free tomorrow and you will be able to spend the whole day with him. he's very excited, but he still says that just one day won't be enough. he missed you so much, you know~

azul ashengrotto.

♡ someone like azul getting jealous over you giving a bit too much attention to grim and the first year students? haha, that's impossible! don't you know how cool and collected he is, he would never let his feelings- yes. yes, he is jealous. he knows how pathetic that sounds, you don't have to tell him. the leech twins have already made fun of him because of that. listen, he's just.. he just misses you and he wishes you could spend more time with him!! yes, he's often too busy to talk to you, but, um, you just visiting him and saying hi would be enough to make his day better!

♡ he can't believe that he feels jealous because of you doting so much on your cat. how did he manage to fall so low? and the thing is that azul is actually not so surprised when he thinks about it, his self-esteem is literally non-existent, of course he would end up crying because of something like this. it's not his fault, okay? and no, he won't tell you anything! you will never figure out what he's thinking about- what do you mean, you think he's jealous. how. y/n, are you sure you don't have any magic abilities, because that intuition is.. something no he's just not good at hiding his jealousy

♡ it's hard to make azul tell you what he's been thinking about lately and when you do, he gets very nervous and avoids looking you in the eyes because of how much he doesn't want to admit that he's been feeling jealous. he knows that it's a natural feeling, especially if you think that your partner doesn't spend that much time with you, but.. he just really doesn't want you to see his weak side, even though you're one of the few people who he feels comfortable enough with. it's not like he doesn't trust you, he trusts you a lot, he just wants you to believe that he's better than he actually is. but if you feel like those freshmen are more interesting than him-

♡ you assure azul that even though you're friends with most first years and you're close with grim, the reason why you don't always have the time to check on azul is not because they are better than him.. it's the exact opposite, actually. let's face it, most nrc freshmen are not that bright. they often have to deal with quite a lot of problems and you're the first person who they usually ask for help. and you, being a kind person that you are, can't just say no to them and you agree to help them. and grim is.. well, grim. of course, you have no choice but to watch over him. and you don't worry too much about azul because you know how smart and talented your boyfriend is, so that's why those first years end up getting so much attention from you. azul is speechless once he hears those words and he is even more shocked when you kiss him on the cheek and promise that you'll try to spend more time with him even though your boyfriend is such a genius that he probably won't need your help.

[sumeruin]

i feel like i sped ran all of ur posts i’m in luv <33 do u think i could maybe… be…🫧-anon??

anyways here’s me little brainrot on scaramouche/wanderer bc i love him

pervy!scara who would hide u under his desk during fatui meetings and make you suck and kiss his cock, all the while you have to hold back whimpers in fear of being discovered :((

yandere!scara who would slowly isolate you from everyone else until you feel abandoned :( but don’t worry! he’s dealt with plently of betrayals, all you need is him!

thinking about a yan!scara x touch starved/traumatized reader scenario. reader genuinely loves scara, and all their past trauma just makes them that much more attached to him. they look past all the red flags and think that this is the best thing for them!! Of course, scara is happy to receive the love, and gladly gives them everything they want :)) scara controls readers surroundings just to make them that much more attached and needy for him and his help! what a good boyfriend he is!

minor writing smut, dni if uncomfortable!!!

omg nonnie!!! ofc you can be 🫧 anon!!! i will write about these in order they’re just too good :(

tw: noncon/dubcon idrk which one of the two to classify this as, i think that’s it tbh

i love love love the idea of pervy scara!!!! and i think it’s just that much better when it’s not in an au or anything so that there’s the power difference of him being a harbinger :( he’d make sure he got to the meeting before anyone else just so that he could feel your mouth wrapped around him during the boring discussions that just seem to drag on for so long :( if he thought you were having it too easy he’d quickly thrust up his hips, just enough to make you gag around him though, he does still have a reputation to keep :(

tw: yandere, heavy stockholm syndrome, like really heavy, like that’s almost entirely what this part is about you’ve been warned, isolation

i think he’d be the most likely to do this out of all the genshin yanderes, he’s just so so mean and so so lonely (and tbh a little bit pathetic and soggy but that’s part of his charm) he wouldn’t want you to look at anyone but him :( i think if his usual punishments with pain and degradation weren’t working he’d even take it a step further and leave you alone in a room for however it takes you to break :( he’d bring you 3 meals a day and plenty of water though!! he’d just ignore you whenever you tried to touch him or even just talk to him :( he’d look at you like you like you’re just a disgusting speck of dirt to him, and that’d continue until eventually you’d break and end up begging him to talk to you, to touch you again, to just do something so that you know you aren’t completely alone :( i think if what you did to deserve that punishment was bad enough he’d let it go in past that point, waiting until you’re clinging to his clothes, full on sobbing for him to pay attention to you again, and physically not letting him leave, then he’d bend down and gently wrap you up in his arms, cooing soft praises and sweet little nothings at you while he reassures you that, “shh, shh, it’s all ok, i’m here now, you don’t have to be scared anymore. i’ll take care of you, it’ll be just how it’s supposed to be.” :( he’d run you a nice, warm bath and pretend like he wasn’t also the one who did this to you, still holding you in his arms and whispering sweet, comforting little words and phrases in your ear :(

tw: yandere, kinda sorta stockholmish??? definitely not as bad as the last one but it’s kinda there, toxic relationships

i think this one is especially good with scara cause i think he’d be just so sad whenever his darling is mean to him, so when you actually, genuinely love him for who his is, obsessiveness and all, he’s overjoyed!! and he’s even more excited when you seek him out yourself and ask him for cuddles or a kiss or even just to sit next to him for a while :( i think he’d try to test you in the early stages of your relationship, just to make sure you aren’t pretending to love him back while you secretly plan to leave him. poor scara has trust issues, can you really blame him? :( besides, he’s made all his red flags more than clear by now, if you’re dumb enough to ignore them then that’s no skin off his back. after he decides you’ve passed his tests he’d become a lot more comfortable showing his true colors with you, gradually adding more rules and restrictions to your schedule, not letting you leave the house unless you’re with him, adding a lock to the outside of your bedroom door and not letting you have a key, making sure to always keep some rope around “just in case” :( eventually, it’d turn into you not being allowed to leave the house at all, and you constantly being in his arms or tied up when he can’t hold you himself. he knows you won’t mind as long as he continues to ravish you with his love and attention though. you’re just so perfect for him, how did he get so lucky? :(

[seniaasaysstuff]

hii i was wondering if you do requests, ill leave here this request and if you dont do them or dont like this feel free to ignore this!<3

its sukuna (or characters of your choice) x fem! reader where she gave birth to a baby but sadly it died so she fell into depression and sukuna is worried but tries not to show it much

thank you even for reading this, take care!<3

TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️- miscarriage.

Hi anon! This is actually my first request haha. Thank you for the request! I tried to write a happy kind of ending?

Um I hope you like it :D Have a great day<33

SADNESS ; ryomen sukuna.

Sukuna may be considered as someone that didn’t have feelings, a monster, an unnatural freak but he loved you.

The first time he ever laid his eyes on you, sukuna knew you were the one for him.

Even though you were a sickly person, you diligently took care of sukuna when he was wounded. You tried your best to protect him from the villagers. You even went as far as taking a hit that was meant for him.

One day sukuna asked you to leave with him.

You accepted, you didn’t have anyone in the world other than him.

You knew about sukuna being a powerful sorcerer but you always worried about his safety.

Soon sukuna built an estate just for you.

He took great care of you. You never had to worry about a thing. He treated you like a queen.

He courted you and married you like a respectful gentleman.

Everyone in the estate respected you, some even feared you as they believed that you were the only one that could control sukuna.

The estate maids adored you, you treated them so kindly, always greeting them. To them even though you were a sickly person, you always were bubbly, so friendly.They always felt delighted when they saw sukuna sama treat you with devotion because in their eyes you deserved the best.

After a year of your marriage, you felt lonely.

When you noticed the estate maids with their children it made you cry.

You knew you would have great difficulty having kids but you wanted to try having a baby with sukuna. You always envisioned having a child that looked just like sukuna, your husband.

Sukuna vehemently refused as he was worried about your safety. But after your incessant pleas he gave in. He couldn’t handle you and your puppy dog eyes begging him for a baby every day and it worked.

You were finally pregnant. Sukuna got the most sought out doctors for you.

The pregnancy took a toll on you. It was taxing both for your physical and mental health. The morning sickness made you unable to stomach anything and it made you look even more sickly.

While you were walking around one day you felt cramps. They were alarming and it felt like you were dying. You felt something warm trickle down your leg. It felt like blood. You looked down and cried out. You were bleeding.

After hearing you scream, the maids came down rushing. They yelled for the doctor as they ushered you into the room. Sukuna dropped everything as he heard you cry out and ran towards your room.

Pain, all you could feel was pain when the doctor sadly informed you that you had miscarried. You wailed for your lost child.

You never really recovered from your miscarriage. You stopped leaving your room, always sitting in your room looking out of the window sadly. You lost your appetite neither did you have the energy to do anything.

You never really knew it but sukuna cried.

He was so worried for you. He didn’t care for the baby, sure it hurt but you were the only thing that mattered to him.

He did his best to cheer you up. He did not know what to do to make you feel better. He didn’t wish for you to grow distant and fall into depression. So he took you on walks, tried getting you gifts like jewelry, he attempted to make jokes to make you laugh but it didn’t work. Nothing worked.

He was growing even more frightened for you.

If you went on like this you could die and he didn’t want that.

One day sukuna dropped on his knees in front of you. “My love,” he rasped.

“Please let me take care of you. I vow to you that I would do everything in my power to help you. Don’t ignore me please my darling. Kill me if you wish but talk to me. I can’t handle you not talking to me.” His voice cracked. Tears were threatening to fall.

“It was not your fault. Believe me, it wasn’t, curse me all you want but please don’t do this. I can’t do this anymore- seeing you trying to kill yourself.” He let out a tired sigh.

You let out a sob. “I don’t know what to do kuna. I lost our baby.” Sukuna lifted and placed you in his lap. You clutched his kimono and wept against his chest.

“You didn’t lose our baby sweetheart. None of it was your fault. We can always try for another or adopt if you want hm?” He tried to soothe you.

“But-” You trembled. He placed a finger against your lips.

“My love, it's okay.” He assured you.

“It’s okay to miss the baby. But don’t beat yourself up over it.” He murmured.

A few months later you had settled down a bit. You at times felt empty. You didn’t have anything to fill up the void. Sure sukuna tried his best to keep you happy but it wasn’t enough.

“You know what? You wanted a baby to look like me right?” Sukuna barged inside your shared room with his hands behind his back. You were confused. You didn’t know what was going on nor Why he was bringing up babies?

“Here meet Yuji and Mizuho.” He handed you two infants.

“What is the meaning of this?” You shrieked.

“Did you steal someone’s kids?” You shouted. “Look at the children.” He whispered. You looked down and noticed they looked oddly similar to sukuna.

You glanced at him in bewilderment. “I made them with my cursed energy. I knew you wanted children but I couldn’t put you through hell again.” He proudly spoke.

“I know you were planning to name our child Yuji if it was a boy and Mizuho if it was a girl.” He added. Tears were brimming in your eyes. “You did all of this for me?” You stuttered.

“I love you. This was nothing. I’m willing to do anything for you.” He hoarsely spoke. “I know it will not make you forget about the baby nor will it fill the empty void. But I want you to be happy.”