#and he can certainly be cis and still go like hmm. My Gender. for one thing like he's autistic so that'd just be relevant like

[for-hunger]

More from my Will/Hannibal t4t forcemasc project. H is pretending to be cis at this point. (This is from the like 10% of it that isn't just the most explicit porn possible)

W frowns. “Why do you always call it that?”

“What?”

“My clit. You call it a cock.”

H grins at him, pinches it viciously between two fingers. W yelps, knocks his head back to rest on H’s shoulder. “What a strange, confused little man you are. What could you possibly mean? Your cock is small, of course. It’ll get bigger over the next few months, as you grow. But it gets hard, like mine.” He squeezes the little erection between his fingers, jerks it off a few times, admiring the plump head. “It has a foreskin.” He pushes back the hood with one finger, and W whimpers into the side of his neck at the pressure. “It has an oversensitive head.” H taps on the exposed tip, and W’s legs jump in his lap. H laughs and extricates himself from beneath W, sliding to kneel in front of him. “Shall we see if I can suck it, like any other cock? If you can fuck my mouth with it?”

W comes with his cock on H’s tongue, fucking in and out of his mouth, riding into H’s thumb pressed into his ass.

Later, when H is cooking them a late dinner, W picks up the subject again. He’s making puttanesca with leftover seared tuna, W perched at the kitchen island with a comic book, an old Swamp Thing. H can feel W’s gaze on him, feel him turning the subject in his mind.

When he’s ready, W puts down his comic. “The 'cock' thing.” He puts air quotes on the word.

“Hmm?”

“I guess it’s a little sexy, when you say it like that. But why should you call it something it’s not? It’s delusional, even patronizing.”

“My descriptions of your cock were not only meant to turn you on, W, and they’re certainly not meant to patronize you.” H says, still moving around the kitchen. “As a doctor, I know that gender and sex categories notoriously difficult to define.” He drizzles olive oil in his drained spaghetti to stop it from drying out, tosses it. “I’m sure you’ve experienced the same difficulty. Suppose we say a penis is a human genital with certain characteristics.” He turns off the heat on his sauce. “What if a cis man can’t achieve an erection? What if he can’t ejaculate? What about circumcision? Should we say he does not have a cock, because his cock lacks these certain requirements?”

“This is some Wittgenstein shit, isn’t it?” W says, his brow furrowed. H is pleasantly surprised by his German pronunciation. “The use explains the definition of the word, not the other way around. It’s a nice idea. The problem is the larger world, the system of language and images around these objects. The fact is, when a m- when someone looks at me, they’re going to see a clit, not a cock.”

H steps around the counter to stare at W, trace his fingers down his bare upper arm. W turns in his chair to face him, his knees brushing H’s trousers, but he doesn’t meet his gaze. “If you hadn’t seen every type of dog, you might look at a dog and call it a cat. Does that make that dog a cat?”

W smiles ruefully, one corner of his mouth twitching. “Maybe not to the dog. But he’ll still end up in a cat shelter.”

H raises open palms to the room around him. “But we’re not in a cat shelter, are we? The system of reality on this particular object is you and I, in this room.” He steps closer, between W’s legs. He smooths one hand from the middle of W’s chest down to his briefs.

W studies him. “We define each other, you mean. By looking at each other.”

“Yes. Looking at your lovely cock.” He traces its shape, then rubs it hard through the fabric. W hisses softly through his teeth. “The others you speak of are not seeing you. Why should their impressions, their definitions, come into it?”

[unproduciblesmackdown]

co-quants coffee break, rian gets the his & hers coffee mugs set and gets his coffee, winston uses the leftover hers mug and says nothing to anyone then or ever but is henceforth on and off Pondering The Experience of it all

[hawkinsp0st]

Hope you are having a great day!! Remember to drink some water today !! Do you have some any Enby Mike headcannons? (Maybe also if you headcannon Will as trans too then some T4T headcannons of the two. no pressure tho if you don't)

omg thank you friend, i am going to start drinking water right now and take my meds as i haven’t yet ! <3

i hope you’re having a great day as well! 😌💛

omg t4t byler headcanons/thoughts YES………..

ok so this is trans will byers dating unlabeled (but def not cis or straight) mike wheeler:

• so will byers is such a good example of healthy masculinity (like think abt him being such a good brother to el!!! “we’ll fix it together” etc) and mike adores this about him……..so when will discloses that he’s trans, mike’s not even phased, he just stares at will like yeah and? ur still the cutest sweetest boy in the world, always have been? ur so handsome and resilient and and and

• in addition to the butterflies he gets as the boy of his dreams is confessing his feelings to him, will feels so euphoric about his gender when mike reveals his feelings and says “i think i like boys… well. especially a particular boy. you.”

• one day mike asks will “how did you know you were… different?” “oh, when i realized i was gay? that’s easy—“ “um, actually. when did you. like. realize you are a boy? only if you’re comfortable talking about it, obviously.”

will blinks, not expecting the question, but wanting to answer—he always enjoys talking about this with mike, who makes him feel warm and affirmed.

“well, i think i always knew… but not everyone is like me. sometimes people realize later in life. it all depends.” “what does it depend on?” “hmm… lots of factors. like, maybe someone didn’t even realize being… different was an option, but then they find out about the concept, and it clicks. i read a book about a guy who was like that—lived as a woman until he was 35 and then woke up one day and went ‘shit, i’ve been a guy this whole time.’”

mike still looks a little nervous, so will gently continues, wanting his boyfriend to know he’s right here and not going anywhere. “do you… know someone who’s feeling this way? who needs someone to talk to?”

mike takes a deep breath—it’s so easy to open up to will. “i think… well, i’ve been thinking a lot, and i’ve always known i’m not a girl.”

will can’t help but let out a little giggle at mike’s willingness to jump right into the topic and his assertion that he’s most certainly not a lady, and mike laughs back. “yeah, same,” will smiles fondly.

“but… sometimes i don’t… totally feel like a boy, either?”

oh, will thinks, that’s neat. he’d read about people who felt that way, but didn’t know much. “that’s really cool, mike.”

“it is?”

“yeah, totally. lots of people feel that way.”

“they do?” mike’s shoulders drop in relief as he looks at will.

“yeah, i mean, i haven’t met anyone like that before—till now? but it totally makes sense. like, how can we expect everyone on the planet to fit into one of two categories?”

mike smiles softly. “yeah. yeah, you’re so right.”

• it gets brought up again a few days later, during a movie date in mike’s basement. in the film they’re watching, someone is putting on eyeliner. mike pauses the movie and just points at the screen, shouting, “that’s it! i just remembered!”

will giggles. “what’s it?”

“eddie—before he passed. he would bring around this friend sometimes, crystal? and she was like… well, i don’t know if i should even say ‘she’... or ‘he’? but crystal was so cool, always had like—blue eyeliner on—gosh, i loved that so much. i’d never seen someone who looks like that before—“

will watches in awe as mike rambles. he could watch his boyfriend go on about any topic for hours, but seeing mike’s eyes light up with self-acceptance and discovery makes this an especially happy moment.

“—and i don’t mean that in a weird way! like, i wasn’t attracted to crystal or anything. i just mean—“

will cuts him off with a kiss, smiling into it. “mike, it’s okay. tell me all about her.”

mike looks like he can’t believe he’s got permission to go on, but of course he does, because it’s will, and will never fails to take all the messy parts of him and arrange them into something pretty. mike’s smile is bright.

“when i saw crystal, that was the first time i felt this, like, consciously. about… maybe not being a boy. or a girl. or anything.” he’s talking fast with his hands. “and then i came to california and saw you, and i thought, ‘wow, i have a girlfriend but wow, boys are beautiful—i mean, this boy is beautiful,’ and i started to think that maybe i don’t want words for who i am. i don’t know. is that weird?”

mike’s eyes are starting to water, and will feels himself get choked up, too. the joy of the moment and how absolutely stunning mike looks when he’s this happy and comfortable makes will forget to respond.

“it’s not that—i mean, it’s great to have words!” mike rushes, thinking maybe he’s offended will by mistake. “like, you’re a guy and that’s so true! i’m not against… labels, i just think—“

will places a hand on mike’s face. “no, i get it. i totally get it. and no matter what you call yourself—or don’t—i love you. i really, really love you.” mike just blinks. “this isn’t going to change anything. i promise.”

mike immediately turns to fully face will & pulls him close. “i love you too, will.” in between kisses, mike murmurs, “i’m just happy i realized i like boys.” will laughs, about to tackle this ridiculous person he calls the love of his life.

• they talk for hours about mike’s labels and lack thereof, and settle on “boyfriend” and “mike” because, in mike’s words, “i definitely want everyone to know i’m your boyfriend. and i’m definitely, ya know. mike.” mike wiggles his eyebrows and nudges will gently in the ribs.

will rolls his eyes and pinches mike in the side. “yeah, asshole, evidently that’s never going to change.” and suddenly here will byers was, at 16, with the love he never thought he’d get to have.

so yeah in conclusion trans will byers and unlabeled mike wheeler are so in love :-)

[regicidal-defenestration]

Ringing in the Year of the Beleaguered Badger

In which Nobby and Colon celebrate the new year with an odd wooden companion

.

"It's looking at me all menacingly, sarge."

"Its not looking at anything, its eyes are painted on."

"Yeah, painted on menacingly."

Nobby and Colon considered the figure in front of them. It was certainly odd - a life sized wooden person, a wide grin and two bright blue eyes painted on its face, wearing an equally bright red uniform, with the occasional brown splotch that Colon was doing his best to not think about.

But it wasn't menacing, Colon was sure about that. It was just a toy owned by some rich nob, or else some sort of art display that pole rats (he was unsure of the exact term) like him weren't supposed to understand. Nothing menacing in the slightest.

Even so, Colon was glad of the window separating him from it.

"It just blinked!" Nobby yelped, hitting Colon in his alarm.

Colon scowled at him. Well - half scowled. Well - shared what may well have been a scared glance with his friend. But there was nothing to be scared of, not at all. It was just a bit creepy.

"You and your imagination, Nobby."

"It did!"

Nobby sounded genuinely shaken, which was worrying. Usually, when someone suddenly moved when they should have been still, it meant an opportunity for Nobby to sell back what he'd just nicked from their pockets. Not… whatever this reaction was.

Turning very deliberately away, Fred leaned against the building's wall. He imagined that he was sat back at his nice warm desk, making plans to go out and celebrate the new year properly, not out on patrol all because Vimes had insisted they go back to their roots as regular old officers. It was-

"It just waved at me Fred."

Colon's thoughts came to a screeching halt.

"How about," he said slowly, "we go back to our roots somewhere else?"

Nobby sagged in relief. And as the two of them made their way down the street, they ignored extremely hard the sound of shattering glass.

*

It was a nice, well lit, and most importantly, empty street, not a weird toy soldier in sight. Colon took his bell - a proper old Watch one, gods this probably hadn't been used in years - and rang it out once, twice, three times.

"Twelve o'clock and all is well!" he called over the loud clangs.

Nobby frowned.

"No it's not."

"Are you disrespecting a superior officer, Nobby?"

"Wouldn't dream of it, sarge. It's just that," he paused to allow Colon to raise an eyebrow, "it's not midnight yet, is it?. It's only half eleven."

Colon paused, took a moment to count on his fingers, then nodded in grudging acknowledgement. He swung the bell again.

"Half past eleven - yes alright no need to look so smug Nobby - and all is still well!"

"No it Isn't!" a third voice piped up, the capitalisation clearly audible.

The two men screamed, grabbing each other instinctively. They then spent an awkwardly silent few minutes trying to pretend like they hadn't just screamed and grabbed each other, and had, in fact, carried off the whole situation with a cool, calm, and collected air. It very nearly worked too.

Nobby was the fastest to regain a sense of composure.

"What d'you mean No it Isn't?" He looked around suspiciously. "Is that a threat?" There didn't look to be hosts of heavily armed thugs waiting in the shadows, but you never knew with these things.

"Oh no, mot At All! What I mean Is, All's not well Because we're Here!" 

The painted smile seemed to broaden.

A pause.

"We?" Colon asked, pointing between him and Nobby.

The Toy Soldier hummed for a good minute. Colon couldn't tell if the consideration on its face was faked, or if it was just Like That.

"Hmm, No, but I Do like your spirit! I'm Talking about Me and my Crew!"

Colon leaned in close to Nobby.

"Let me handle this, eh? Matters of diplomacy like this happen to be my four-tay, you know."

Nobby gave him a Look which was, in his (Colon's) view, was neither nice, nor sufficiently respecting of his (Nobby's) commanding officer. 

"And would you, fine citiz- nutcra- erm-" Colon paused as he scrabbled for a suitably diplomatic term, ignoring Nobby's snickers, "fine being, care to explain who the crew in question is?"

"And are you plannin' any funny business?" Nobby added, not willing to let go of his suspicion yet.

"Well, there's Me! There's Jonny, who is currently Beheaded, Nastya, who has Refused to Set foot on the Disc for Moral Reasons, Raph And Ivy, who are Helping Marius ask that man Vimes out to Dinne-"

"Well your Marius won't have much luck with that," Colon interrupted, undiplomatically. "Sam doesn't swing that way."

There was a moment of silence.

"Fred," Nobby began, putting on his best 'telling a figure of relative authority that they are, actually, spouting ideas that are even more incorrect than that time Aunt June got drunk at the Hogswatch party and began claiming that the world wasn't flat' voice.

"Mr Vimes'as been out for longer than I've known him. And you’ve know him longer than I have."

"But when I've gone about him being all strait-laced - you know how he gets - none of you bastards corrected me did you!"

Nobby was not a book-smart man. If asked what a thesaurus was, he'd probably say some sort of dead lizard. Whilst he didn't know his words though, he did know his friend.

"Fred," he said again, "d'you think strait-laced means a straight person who wears lace up boots?"

Colon opened and shut his mouth a few times, trying and failing to say something.

"Course I don't," he said at last, recovering admirably. "Just, keeping you on your toes."

Spinning to face the Toy Soldier and, he hoped, firmer conversational ground, he added: "Is Sybil aware of your Marius' advances on her husband?"

"Oh most Certainly! She has Even helped Plan Out his Speech!"

"Ah." Nobby nodded thoughtfully. "wuh-luh-wuh muh-luh-muh solidarity."

"Sybil likes women?"

"Course she does sarge. She was engaged to that lady nob, before Sam nat’rally, but they broke it off on account of her, the nob, not liking all them dragons."

"You know a lot of people, Nobby"

"Word gets around."

"Do you, er, have some sort of mailing list then?" Fred was capital-S Straight, but tried not to let that get in the way.

Nobby failed at holding in a snort of laughter.

“A mailing list? Blimey Fred, imagine me getting a Hogswatch card from Vetinari himself. An’ imagine all them just waiting eagerly to get my letter.”

Seeing Colon’s expression, he tried to school his face into a more serious expression, but it didn’t last long.

“Imagine- just imagine a letter showin’ up at the Watch House, well, multiple letters really, cause of the fact you’re the only straight an cis person I can name off the top of me head, after Archchancellor whass’name has an attack of the Genders last month, all them letters with their little rainbow wax sealing stamps-”

Colon cleared his throat loudly. He jerked his head over to where the Toy Soldier was standing, unmoving, unblinking. Creepy bugger, he thought, undimplomatically, but this time he didn’t say it out loud. Character development.

“I’m sure our... friend... here doesn’t need to know, eh, Nobby?”

“On the contrary, I Think it’s Marvellous! A Mailing list, what Fun! Oh, I Do so enjoy visiting you Silly little People, with your silly Little Ideas!”

The words themselves seemed insulting, but the Toy Soldier’s tone was still bright and cheerful. Although...  three consecutive sentences ending with exclamation marks is never a good sign.

“Oh! It’s nearly Midnight now, If you Wanted to ring your Bell Again- oh!” It clapped its hands together excitedly. “Can I Ring it? And say the Thing?”

Without a complaint, Colon handed the bell over. There was probably a Rule about not doing that somewhere, but his mind was still stuck back on Vetinari. Everyone knew the Patrician wore that black ring on his middle finger, of course, but he hadn’t actually thought properly about th-

Nobby’s voice cut through his thoughts.

“You’re slightly staring at it, sarge.”

“Wha-? Yes, of course, go ahead and er, say the Thing, if you want.”

“Twelve O’clock And all is Wel-”

Its final word was drowned out as the city bells began chiming.

Midnight in Ankh-Morpork, and thus, the New Year, was determined largely by consensus, each of the bells chiming slightly out of time with each other. The first to ring belonged to the Fools’ Guild, because there is apparently nothing funnier than getting woken up in the dead of night. The fireworks began as the big brass gong at the Temple of Small Gods rang out, bangs and explosions adding to the chorus of dings, clangs, bongs and jingles. By the time the big rocket exploded purple and red over the sky it was impossible to tell the bells from each other, except for the tongueless and magical bell of Old Tom in the Unseen University clock tower, whose twelve even silences could be heard even over the din.

The high point of the display was, as usual, the Alchemists’ Guild blowing up, this time with an aesthetically pleasing blue fireball.

Nobby whistled in appreciation.

"Happy new year Fred."

"Happy new Nobby. Happy new year Toy Soldier who's still following us around."

"Happy New Year old Chums!"

[crispyjenkins]

I just fell on your jangobi fix-it and... Uh... Alright if it's a future fix maybe not a prompt for this verse but else what about another jangobi? Something sweet and cuddly? Have a good day and much love to you ♥

(i’m almost done with the first chapter of the fix-it, so will maybe be able to post it soon?? but have an experiment with another one of my au’s where boba is force sensitive and jango is Big Gay so doesn’t know how to ask for help properly and somehow convinces obi to teach him the basics by rescuing him on geonosis when he was unable to get a message to anakin. it a mess. i hope boba cuddles suffice!

AND MUCH LOVE TO YOU i hope you stay safe and healthy!     (づ￣ ³￣)づ )

  “You’ll have to let me go eventually,” Obi-Wan says one night, with Boba sitting in his lap meditating. Jango looks up from the datapad where he’s calculating their next jump, and raises an eyebrow at Obi-Wan’s serene expression. 

  The jetii had appropriated a stretch of floor in the galley for a folded blanket to act as a meditation mat, which means Jango can keep an eye on them during Boba’s lessons, but Jango has come to find it’s a lot less moving things with your mind and a lot more sitting around thinking. Boba seems to be enjoying himself, though, even if Jango isn’t used to seeing his kid so calm for such long stretches of time.

  He shakes away the thought and focuses back on Obi-Wan, who isn’t even looking at him, his eyes closed as he pretends to meditate for Boba’s sake. 

  Jango snorts. “I don’t have you under a suppressor,” he says, adding another digit to his calculation. “You could have escaped weeks ago.”

  “Mm, perhaps,” Obi-Wan murmurs with that kriffing smile that makes Jango want to shoot him and be done with it. But Boba still needs a teacher, and Jango doubts he’d forgive him if he tried to kill Obi-Wan. Again, anyways. 

  “I think you’re avoiding the jetiise,” Jango says, like this is something they do, and they don’t: they try their damndest to stay away from this topic, to talk about almost anything else to avoid being reminded of how precarious this arrangement is. 

  They’re existing on borrowed time, and Jango knows Obi-Wan is too perfect a Jedi to leave the war for much longer. He’s spoken with that padawan of his, of course, but there’s no possible course of events where Obi-Wan doesn’t return for him. No matter how much Jango might want him not to. 

  Obi-Wan lets out a little sigh, the sound impossibly intimate in the quiet rumble of the ship. “Jango,” he says and finally opens his eyes. He checks on Boba first, expression the sort of affectionate that has gotten Jango into more trouble than he cares to admit. 

  Carefully brushing the hair from Boba’s face, Obi-Wan somehow manages not to disturb the kid from his trancelike state as he drops a kiss onto his forehead. 

  They’ve been at this for five ten-days, sequestered in the Slave I and only making landfall on neutral planets long enough to restock, and yet it sometimes feels as if Obi-Wan has always traveled with them. As if he’s always puttered sleepily around the galley in the morning making hetikleyc caf, or helped Boba with his reading lessons, or joined Jango in the cockpit after Boba’s gone to bed. As if their... scuffle on Kamino had never happened.

  “I cannot abandon Anakin,” Obi-Wan murmurs, glancing up with that serene expression peeling at the edges. 

  “I wouldn’t ask you to.”

  He sighs again. “I know you wouldn’t, just as I would never ask you to part with Boba. And I cannot abandon my family to face this war alone, I cannot ignore the Jedi’s place in it, but I... would not abandon you and Boba, either.”

  Which is the crux of the problem, isn’t it? That Jango has ruined this man by forcing him to choose between two families.

  Well, in his defense, he hadn’t gone into this with the intention of getting attached, either him or Boba, but Jango should have known better, with the sort of luck he’s been living with since he was ten standard years. It makes him wonder about Obi-Wan’s own luck, if it landed him here with them.

  With him.

  Obi-Wan’s eyes narrow as if he knows what he’s thinking, but is luckily trapped until Boba resurfaces, so Jango is safe to level him with a glare warning him against reading his mind. 

  Scoffing, Obi-Wan straightens against the wall. “You do not intimidate me, Jango Fett.”

  “There must be something keeping you here,” Jango snorts, “and I don’t think it’s my charming smile.”

  “No, it’s the charming smile of your progeny,” he returns easily, any bite softened by the fact Boba is leant against his chest like he belongs there. Then Obi-Wan’s smile slips a little, and Jango knows the Slave I is too small to run from this conversation. “What do you plan to do?”

  Jango lets out a slow breath and sets aside his datapad, somehow already exhausted with this. “Well, we can’t go back to Kamino, not unless the jetiise are suddenly willing to be very, very forgiving,” he says, unsurprised by Obi-Wan’s grimace of agreement. “I was thinking Concord Dawn.”

  “That’s a gamble. Are you in contact with other Haat Mando’ade?”

  Jango grunts. “Not any that would be willing to give us asylum. But there are a few old clans that might help us get on our feet.”

  “You could...” Obi-Wan clears his throat and lets his face twist. “You should stay in neutral systems, I can’t imagine Count Dooku would take kindly to you in CIS space.”

  Jango hmms non-committedly, eyeing him; sometimes Obi-Wan has all the subtlety of a rancor, when it’s something he’s overthinking, and Jango would really rather he didn’t have to think about why he knows that. 

  “I cannot read minds, Kenobi,” he offers, when Obi-Wan has gone back to watching Boba meditate. 

  “Ah, well.” He clears his throat again, Jango noting with backburner delight that he’s blushing underneath his beard. “It... crossed my mind that Stewjon has remained a neutral party in every galactic conflict since its first settlers. Their system is too small for the CIS to care about, and the Senate gave up on them decades ago.”

  “Stewjon,” Jango repeats and, even knowing that it’s impossible to follow Obi-Wan’s thought process at all times, it still throws him off centre. He only knows Stewjon even exists because he almost hyperjumped through it on his first flight with Jaster, and you don’t tend to forget the planet you almost exploded with bad math. “Alright, jetii, I’ll bite: what’s on Stewjon?” Obi-Wan’s expression twitches, the fact he won’t meet Jango’s eye more telling than any lie he might be thinking up. Jango knows him too well, too fast, to be fooled. “I thought you were a temple bastard.”

  “I was,” he says softly, brushing over Boba’s hair again. “The healers do genetic tests to make sure they don’t accidentally poison the younglings. I never went looking for my family, but I’ve visited Stewjon for cultural festivals several times; the Stewjoni are a bit insular, but are welcoming to refugees. They have similar creeds as Mando’ade regarding children, and would certainly welcome Boba into their schools.”

  This is bigger than Jango has the time to process at the moment, bigger than the way Obi-Wan has let Jango hold his ‘saber or see him without his many layers, bigger than the way Obi-Wan has stuck around them by choice for so long. Jango doesn’t try to stop himself from asking, “And does your ad know about this?”

  “No. I’ve never told Anakin.”

  “Then why in Corellian Hells are you telling me.” 

  Obi-Wan shrugs, but that’s not good enough. Jango pushes himself to his feet to lean against the table instead, and maybe Obi-Wan also knows him too well, too fast, when that’s all it takes for him to give in. 

  “I can’t keep Anakin away from the war, not with what the Senate is asking of the Jedi. I can’t keep any of them safe, not even the younglings, but I can get you and Boba somewhere as far away as possible.”

  “You don’t owe us anything, Obi-Wan,” Jango says. “If anything, I owe you.”

  “For the kidnapping, yes,” Obi-Wan chuckles, like he hadn’t been forcibly rescued from his execution on Geonosis by the very bounty hunter he had been trying to apprehend, and then forced at blaster-point to train his force-sensitive clone son to control his newfound powers. “I do not have to owe you anything to help you, Jango. That’s somewhat the core of the Jedi code.”

  “Still,” he grumbles. That smile returns, and it really would just be easier to shoot him. Then, against his better judgement but with Sheeka a burning hole in his mind, Jango says, “And when the war is over?”

  Obi-Wan fully flinches and drops his gaze. “Well, it’s a little early for that sort of talk, isn’t it?” And it doesn’t matter if he means early in the war, or early for them, because Jango knows his answer will be the same. 

  He watches Obi-Wan start to coax Boba back to reality, his kid blinking back awake to the soft lights of the galley, and tucks that question away for later. War waits for no one, least of all them. 

Mando’a: jetii — Jedi, pl. jetiise hetikleyc caf — Mandalorian spiced caf, lit. spicy caf (fan creation courtesy of @atelier-dayz​ !) Haat Mando’ade — lit. true children of Mandalore, i.e. True Mandalorians ad — child, kid. gender neutral 

[astudyinfreewill]

tbh i get queer fans being mad/sad about kavinsky being killed off in that yeah, bury your guys can always be upsetting no matter the character. but it's weird to me when people go the 'he didn't DESERVE it blah blah' route because like, that has nothing to do with the trope. like i agree with queer characters always getting killed off being exhausting, but i don't get people going hard for this particular character lmao

hmm i… sort of agree. i guess i can understand fans being sad about kavinsky being killed off if they empathise with him, even though personally i just… can’t imagine relating to a character like that. but i honestly, genuinely don’t believe he’s an example of Bury Your Gays. it would be BYG if kavinsky was the only queer rep in the books, or even he killed himself specifically for being gay… which, no matter what people argue, he didn’t. but rather than give my opinion on it, i’m gonna take this chance to go through the trope systematically and explain why the shoe doesn’t fit. it’s meta time!

Why Kavinsky Dying is Not “Bury Your Gays”

[All quotes are taken directly from TvTropes, though the emphasis is mine.]

The Bury Your Gays trope in media, including all its variants, is a homophobic cliché. It is the presentation of deaths of LGBT characters where these characters are nominally able to be viewed as more expendable than their heteronormative counterparts. In this way, the death is treated as exceptional in its circumstances. In aggregate, queer characters are more likely to die than straight characters. Indeed, it may be because they seem to have less purpose compared to straight characters, or that the supposed natural conclusion of their story is an early death.

Kavinsky is never viewed as “more expendable than his heteronormative counterparts”. If you see Kavinsky as simply Ronan’s foil, then the reasoning doesn’t apply, because Ronan is gay himself, so he can’t be a “heteronormative counterpart”. However, Kavinsky apologists like to latch on to Gansey’s “We matter” quote to prove Kavinsky is treated as unimportant – but that’s a fallacy for several reasons. First, you’re taking Gansey to speak for the author, or for objective truth, when Gansey is one of the most unreliable narrators in the book, and his world view is extremely biased. Secondly, Gansey isn’t Kavinsky’s counterpart. Kavinsky is an antagonist, so you have to look at what happens to the other antagonists – his actual heteronormative counterparts. And, well: they pretty much ALL get killed off. Not just that, but they often get killed off in a way that does not have the emotional/narrative impact implied in Kavinsky’s death. By that reckoning, he gets the better shake. Additionally, we get 4 heteronormative villains killed off - Whelk, Neeve, Colin, and Piper. So in the series, queer characters are not more likely to die than straight characters (even among the protagonists, Gansey and Noah are the ones who “die”, where Ronan and Adam do not).

The reasons for this trope have evolved somewhat over the years. For a good while, it was because the Depraved Homosexual trope and its ilk pretty much limited portrayals of explicitly gay characters to villainous characters, or at least characters who weren’t given much respect by the narrative. This, conversely, meant that most of them would either die or be punished by the end. 

This is not applicable to TRC, as portrayals of explicitly queer characters are not limited to villainous characters; Adam and Ronan are both explicitly queer and they are treated with huge amounts of respect by the narrative. So Kavinsky isn’t being killed for being the odd one out/the Token Evil Queer; plus, there are other reasons why he doesn’t fit the Depraved Homosexual trope (while sexual molestation is a part of this trope, TVTropes encourages you to “think of whether he’d be any different if he wasn’t gay” – and Kavinsky wouldn’t. Not only because DHs are usually extremely camp while Kavinsky’s mannerisms aren’t particularly queer-coded, but also because he is not shown to have any more respect for women than he does for men, and his abuse would look the same if he was straight).

However, as sensitivity to gay people became more mainstream, this evolved into a sort of Rule-Abiding Rebel “love the sinner, hate the sin” attitude. You could have sympathetic queer characters, but they would still usually be “punished” for their queerness in some way so as to not anger more homophobic audiences, similar to how one might write a sympathetic drug addict but still show their addiction in a poor light. 

Again: Neither Ronan nor Adam – the two sympathetic queer characters – are punished for being queer, hence subverting this form of the trope.

This then transitioned into the Too Good for This Sinful Earth narrative, where stories would tackle the subject of homophobia and then depict LGBT characters as suffering victims who die tragic deaths from an uncaring world. The AIDS crisis also contributed to this narrative, as the Tragic AIDS Story became its own archetype, popularized by films like Philadelphia. 

Okay, this is DEFINITELY not Kavinsky’s case. Kavinsky’s death isn’t specifically connected to being gay (e.g.: a hate crime or an STD), and he’s never depicted as some innocent suffering victim. As for the “uncaring world”… eh. Kavinsky may not have a valid support system, but that’s just as much by choice as by chance - and when Ronan extends a helping hand and tries to save him, Kavinsky rejects it. Too Good For This Sinful Earth is definitely not in play. 

The only trope that kind of fits the bill is Gayngst-Induced Suicide… but only on the surface. As TVTrope puts it, Gayngst-Induced Suicide is “when LGBT characters are Driven to Suicide because of their sexuality, either because of internalized homophobia (hating themselves) or experiencing a miserable life because of their “deviant” gender or sexuality: having to hide who they are, not finding a stable relationship, homophobia from other parties, etc.”. Kavinsky certainly has quite a bit of internalized homophobia, but he is absolutely not experiencing a miserable life because of his sexuality – i.e. he’s not being bullied or taunted or subejcted to hate crimes. He doesn’t have to hide who he is: his parents are effectively out of the picture, his cronies worship him, and he constantly makes gay jokes to Ronan and Gansey. As for “not finding a stable relationship”… well that’s not exactly the problem, is it. He’s not looking for a stable relationship – he’s pursuing Ronan specifically, obsessively, through stalking and abuse. So even this trope is not applicable. 

And then there are the cases of But Not Too Gay or the Bait-and-Switch Lesbians, where creators manage to get the romance going but quickly avoid showing it in detail by killing off one of the relevant characters. 

Once again this is not the case with Kavinsky, as 1) there was no romance going between him and Ronan, and 2) he is not killed off before the nature of his obsession with Ronan is revealed – he gets the chance to both admit (sort of) he wants Ronan, and to confront Ronan about his sexuality, to which Ronan admits that yes, he is gay, but he is not interested in Kavinsky. So, there is no But Not Too Gay nor any Bait-and-Switch here. 

Also known as Dead Lesbian Syndrome, though that name has largely fallen out of use post-2015 and the media riots about overuse of the trope. And, as this public outcry restated, the problem isn’t merely that gay characters are killed off: the problem is the tendency that gay characters are killed off in a story full of mostly straight characters, or when the characters are killed off because they are gay.

This is a very good definition of the trope and why it doesn’t apply to Kavinsky: he’s not killed off because he’s gay, and he’s not killed off in a story full of mostly straight characters; TRC is definitely not overwhelmingly diverse, but 2 of the 4 protagonists are queer, giving us a solid 50% ratio (I’m not counting Noah because his “character” status is vague, and I’m not counting Henry because he came in so late, and also because his sexuality is the matter of much speculation).

For a comparison that will make it even clearer: take a show like Supernatural. Supernatural’s range of characters is almost entirely presented as straight white cis men (as of canon – despite much of the fandom’s hopes and speculation). They’ve had problems with diversity in general, with a lot of black characters dying immediately, and a lot of women getting fridged for plot advancement or male angst (a different problematic trope altogether). Now, apart from minor inconsequential cameos, Supernatural had ONE recurring gay character: Charlie Bradbury. And they killed her off for no discernible reason other than plot advancement and male angst, in a context that had elements of Too Good For This Sinful Earth (Charlie being a fan-favourite, ~pure cinnamon roll~, being killed by actual nazis, who historically targeted gay people). See, THAT was Bury Your Gays, AND Dead Lesbian Syndrome, AND Fridging…

However, sometimes gay characters die in fiction because, well, sometimes people die. There are many Anyone Can Die stories: barring explicit differences in the treatments of the gay and straight deaths in these, it’s not odd that the gay characters are dying. The occasional death of one in a Cast Full of Gay is unlikely to be notable, either.

…But that is not the case with TRC. As I’ve said above, there are no explicit differences in the treatments of the gay and straight villain deaths. Kavinsky’s death is not Bury Your Gays; it’s Anyone Can Die – even a protagonist’s foil who has magic powers and is present for most of the book.

Believe me, I would not be cavalier about this. As you rightly said, queer characters always getting killed off is exhausting, and as a bi woman myself, I am deeply affected by instances of Bury Your Gays. When Supernatural killed off Charlie, I wrote a novel-length fix-it fic and basically stopped watching the show – a show I had been following, flaws and all, for 10 years. I don’t take it lightly. But Kavinsky’s death isn’t Bury Your Gays, nor is it homophobia. Sometimes, a character death is just a character death.

[badass-at-fandoming]

OTP Meme

Grabbed from @robotslenderman. Thank you! I liked learning about Arturo and Olivia. :D

I felt like a little pick-me-up so I decided to do this. Thank you @brightstorm98 for suggesting Beckett and Sergio.

Beckett is Beckett. Sergio is my original Malkavian ghoul character. You can read about them in my fanfic series, A Kinder Universe. Sergio first briefly appears in “Bad Idea” is the star of “First Date,” and pops up again in “Bonpensiero Bloodline Remix.”

Quick n’ dirty: Sergio is a former Prince of Sicilian Mafia, who faked their death and became an Los Angeles fashion designer and ghoul to a Malkavian. Sergio uses he/they pronouns.

DISAGREEMENTS.

Who is more likely to raise their voice?

Sergio. I kinda picture them as Dante’s Inferno with their temper. They run very hot, but their truest, purest anger is ice cold. That’s when bodies start dropping.

Who threatens to leave but never actually does?

I think it’s probably about even. It’s more of a “Maybe I should leave you be” sort of vibe. Both of them can recognize when it’s time to take a step back and cool off. Sergio would still let loose a couple invectives before leaving. Beckett more bottles it all up.

Who actually keeps their word and leaves?

Unless it’s a case of “I’m going to do a suicide mission so you don’t have to,” neither would actually leave the relationship. But they’re both independent spirits in a loose polycule, so there are periods where they’re not together. Sometimes Sergio doesn’t want to go places. For example, Liberteria is awesome, but it’s a chock full of blood-hungry, stinky Brujah, so Sergio would rather stay in Casablanca and party. Sometimes Sergio wants to focus on a different relationship, such as them and Cesare. Sometimes the projects one of them embarks on are of an extremely personal nature, so space is granted. Example: Sergio has no clue that Beckett is paying off that Giovanni scumbag to not hurt Emma’s ghost. Only Anatole has one inkling about that.

Who trashes the house?

Sergio. Listen! The mess is part of the creative process! They’re designing the next big sensation in fashion! It will be the talk of Paris! Please don’t touch the fucking scissors; they’re the only decent sharp ones. I KNOW they’re in a slipper, but that is the only place for them.

though lol @ beckett having a house aldkfjalkjgl

Do either of them get physical?

I assume this means during an argument? Sergio has a bad(?) habit of kissing Beckett to prove a point, or encourage him to agree.

How often do they argue/disagree?

I feel I’m being terribly boring here. A normal couple amount?? They’re both adults. They hash things out. A hot button topic would be safety. On a dare, Sergio will rush in where angels fear to tread. Beckett disapproves when Sergio breaks into places without telling him beforehand. But it was easy as pie! They turned invisible, picked the locks, decapitated some patriarchs, and whallah, they have the artifact he wanted! Stop looking at them like that, you know we will be out of the country before those wraiths can snitch. Also: I took their fetters.

Another hot button would be their mutual stubbornness. Sergio will insist they have the best idea. Beckett will think he’s right. They butt heads, and Sergio’s not above playing dirty, which is a whole other problem.

Beckett would land in hot water with Sergio if he kept his heart closed off. Sergio is all about openness and feeling one’s feelings.

Who is the first to apologize?

Sergio. They are like EMOTIONS. Beckett is like “My plan is I will keep all my emotions locked in my chest, and, eventually, I’ll die.” Sergio is overt. Beckett is covert.

SEX.

Sergio is Beckett’s dom. Beckett goes to them when he wants to surrender.

Who is on top? Who is on bottom?

Beckett canonically says Bottom Rights

Any kinks?

Dom/submissive. Bondage. Leather. Bloodplay. Orgasm delay/denial. Nipple clamps.

You know when cats get overstimulated and they just lay there with their paws in the air? That’s Beckett after a session with Sergio.

Who has the strangest desires?

.It’s pretty strange that a Kindred of Beckett’s age is into sex at all, but it’s my AU and I do what I want. In my world, he’s a touch starved disaster.

Who’s dominant in bed?

Sergio. They’re the dom, and it’s a reward to touch them.

Sergio is a stone bisexual, which means they don’t like to be penetrated or have their genitals touched at all. I did this partly because I’m wary of writing a scene that depicts Sergio’s junk. An enby reader who identifies with Sergio might read that they have ABC, and the presence of ABC might trigger gender dysphoria. I want those readers to keep however they picture Sergio in their head. Overall, I also don’t like the cis reader tendency to await for an enby character’s genital reveal, in order to figure out “what they are really.” As if genitals had anything to do with gender.

I created Sergio because a)there needs to be more enby characters in Vampire and b)I need practice writing enby characters. I’m not nonbinary so I KNOW I’m going to mess something up. Nature of the game. There are plenty of strategies for writing sex with a nonbinary partner, but I’m not confident in my ability to do so as of yet. So, for the moment, Sergio keeps their pants on and orders Beckett around.

Is head ever in the equation?

Yes! Sergio will lick Beckett like a lollipop.

If so, who is better at performing it?

Sergio, haha. They spent a long chunk of their life living loose and fast in Hollywood.

Ever had sex in public?

HA! Yes.

Who moans the most?

Beckett, and Sergio loves to tease those noises out.

Who leaves the most marks?

Beckett. He’s delighted that he CAN leave marks on Sergio. His other lovers are Kindred, and they heal too quickly to leave a fantastic hickey.

Who is the more experienced of the two?

Depends on how one defines experience. Beckett has had more lovers. Sergio has notably better technique.

Do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’?

They and other characters refer to them as “sessions.”

How long do they usually last?

Hmm...probably depends on what they’re doing. I think it would average out to about an hour? Maybe two hours? Four hours at the longest. 10 minutes at shortest.

Rough or soft?

[Lady Gaga’s “I Like It Rough” starts playing in the background]

Is protection used?

Now that I think about it...that’s probably a good idea. They don’t have to worry about pregnancy, but STIs are a pain. The AIDS crisis is freaking dicey and utterly terrifying.

Does it ever get boring?

No. It becomes familiar. Comforting and warm. As easy to slip into as a daydream.

Where is the strangest place they’d have sex?

I haven’t written any strange places yet. Making out in an open alley during the 1940s was certainly dangerous. End of the world or no.

FAMILY.

Do they plan on having children/or have children?

Nope. Sergio isn’t interested in acquiring children, and Beckett wrote off having children long ago. Sergio is happy to be the immortal cousin to the Garcia family. The Garcia’s are a human family their regnant, Cassandra, takes care of.

Sergio knows how to care for a child, in the casual way one acquires when living under the same roof as one. To Beckett, children are more foreign, and he’s extremely worried that he’ll accidentally hurt them. That being said, put a baby in his hands and, after the initial nerves pass, he absolutely melts.

If so, how many children do they want/have?

n/a

AFFECTION.

Who likes to cuddle?

Both! I’m a sucker for cuddlebug characters.

Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places?

Sergio. They initiate a lot of the casual affection.

Who struggles to keep their hands to themselves?

Once he gets going, Beckett.

How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable?

Depends. Sergio is human, so there’s varying tolerance for how cold Beckett is. Sergio is the one who gets uncomfortable though.

What is their favourite non-sexual activity?

murder Going on Noddist adventures!

Where is their favourite place to cuddle?

Bed. Do you know how cozy bed is

SLEEPING.

Who snores?

Sergio, as the one who has to breathe.

If both do, who snores the loudest?

Sergio.

Do they share a bed or sleep separately?

Depends. They like snoozing together, but they’re not always in the same place.

If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart?

They’ll cozy up temporarily, but the need to get into an actual comfortable position for sleep will pull them apart.

What do they wear to bed?

Nightgowns. Both of them grew up wearing those to sleep.

Are either of them insomniacs?

Beckett has a God-ordained sleep schedule, so moon’s out, Beckett’s out. Sergio is variable. They have depression, so sometimes they’re asleep like 12 to 16 hours a day. Other times, when their brain is providing the serotonin, Sergio will push themself to stay up at all hours. During “First Date,” Sergio is awake all day doing work and stays up all night to smooch Beckett.

Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside?

Beckett has picked Sergio up, laid them on the bed, and squished them until they fell asleep. That’s all the help to snooze Sergio needs.

Do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side?

Like I said above, they’ll wrap around each other for a bit, but eventually straighten out and just lay beside each other.

Who wakes up with bed hair?

Both! Beckett more.

Who wakes up first?

Sergio, most like. Being an Elder, Beckett usually wakes up an hour or two after sunset.

Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other?

If he’s feeling especially mother hen-ish, Beckett will bring Sergio breakfast in bed. Whenever Sergio is in bed, there’s breakfast for Beckett.

What is their favourite sleeping position?

Sergio likes to snuggle up to Beckett. When Beckett needs a lot of reassurance, he may put his head on Sergio’s chest to listen to the sounds of their living body.

Do they set an alarm each night?

Sergio will set alarms to rouse themself at the appropriate The Vampires Are Up(TM) time

Who has nightmares?

Both, though rarely.

Can a television be found in their bedroom?

Life with Beckett is a life on the road. Motels will have TVs so yes. In Sergio’s bedroom in LA or Beckett’s airplane? No.

Who has ridiculous dreams?

Beckett. He has the more bizarre connection to the Cobweb.

Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed?

Neither of them are bed hogs, but I guess Beckett? He’s bigger.

Who makes the bed?

They each make their own sides of the bed.

What time is bed time?

Dawn.

Any routines/rituals before bed?

Cuddles!

Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up?

Sergio can be grumpy or frustrated, but that’s not as much as an Emergency Alert if Beckett wakes with a hungry Beast.

WORK.

Who is the busiest?

Beckett, as he has a never-ending trot across the globe.

Who rakes in the highest income?

Sergio. By virtue of them actually having a steady trust fund and investment portfolio, plus any clothes they design and sell under a false name.

Beckett is like #FreelancerLife and leaves notes on museum doorsteps asking if they want this 400 year old piece of pottery and the curators are like sir what the fuck

Are any of them unemployed?

Nope

Who takes the most sick days?

Sergio, by virtue of ability to get seriously ill and more prone to injury. Beckett can only suffer from the Withering.

What are their jobs?

Beckett is a Noddist scholar, anthropologist, and archeologist. Sergio is fashion designer.

Who sucks up to their boss?

I guess the closest thing either has to a boss is Cassandra, as Sergio’s regnant. They will flatter her to the stars and back.

Who is more likely to turn up late to work?

They’re both likely to be delayed by complications. Complications such as assassins, traffic, angry Kindred officials, mascara not cooperating etc etc.

Who stresses the most?

Beckett. He worries a lot.

Do they enjoy or despise their careers/occupations?

They’re both in love with what they do.

Are they financially stable?

This is fantasy fiction so of course they are. I have enough money troubles irl.

HOME.

Who does the washing?

Most of the places they live (like motels) have a dedicated maid service, so it would be a mix of Sergio, Beckett, and the professionals.

Who takes out the trash?

Ditto to above.

Who does the ironing?

Sergio! They find it soothing.

Who does the cooking?

Also Sergio! Beckett is fascinated and regrets that he didn’t have the chance to eat Italian food while he was alive.

Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying?

BECKETT NO

Who is messier?

Like a messier eater? Beckett, because blood stains are pain. He is very neat, but when he does fuck up, ugh.

Who leaves the toilet roll empty?

No one, what the heck

Who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor?

Both of them. Sergio is fussy with clothes when they’re wearing them, but is more lack when it comes to taking clothes off. Ideally, the outfit lands in the hamper, but sometimes one is too tired or preoccupied with kissing.

Who forgets to flush the toilet?

Dude, what, no.

Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere?

Beckett: Sergio, my dear...why is the car making a horrendous beeping noise.

Sergio: My God, that is awful--oh, I see, it thinks you have stolen it.

Beckett: wha--the car is mine!

Sergio: And this is what happens when you break into your own car

Who answers the telephone?

Both of them have their own cell phones. They could pick up a call for the other if the other is preoccupied, but it depends on what the caller ID says.

Who mows the lawn?

Neither of them knows how.

Who does the vacuuming?

Ditto for the other cleaning questions. Sergio vacuums more than Beckett because vacuums hurt my ears and I don’t even have super senses.

Who does the groceries?

Sergio, because they eat. If Sergio asks and gives Beckett a list, Beckett will go.

Who takes the longest to shower?

Beckett. He likes to stand in the warmth and soak.

Who spends the most time in the bathroom?

Sergio because makeup is awesome.

MISCELLANEOUS.

Is money a problem?

Nope.

How many cars do they own?

Neither of them own cars. They rent ones when they travel. Beckett has a jet.

What’s their song?

I haven’t found one yet. “I Like It Rough” by Lady Gaga is my best guess.

I do have a Beckett playlist here and I associate Sergio with “Que Sera, Sera” by Doris Day, “Crying Lightening” by the Arctic Monkeys, “Gangster’s Paradise” cover by Postmodern Jukebox, and the “Careless Whisper” cover by Postmodern Jukebox.

Do they live in the city or in the country?

They globe-trot, but Sergio’s “home base” is in LA.

Do they own their home or do they rent?

Hotel and motel bills oh no! Or they rough it.

Do they enjoy their surroundings?

Yes! Sergio and Beckett love traveling.

What do they do when they’re away from each other?

When Beckett is off adventuring with someone else, Sergio follows their other passions. They design new outfits, romance their other partners, adore their fish, try new beers, help Zelde build her inventions, and generally lives their life.

Where did they first meet?

LA. Read it here, but again it’s more a cameo.

Who spends the most money when out shopping?

LOL Sergio.

Who’s more likely to flash their assets?

Sergio is more likely to flash their cash to get what they want. Or flash Beckett’s prestige FOR Beckett. “Do you know who this is? This is the Beckett, scholar and the smartest man you will ever meet. He has thought more thoughts than you have in your entire pathetic life. So why don’t you run along to your little Elysium and tell your Keeper to let us in.”

Any mental issues?

As a Malkavian ghoul, Sergio has a lighter version of the Clan bane. They have depression. It’s the type where one has periods of low moods.

Who finds it amusing when the other trips over?

It’s hilarious when Beckett trips.

Who’s terrified of bugs?

No, haha.

Who kills the spiders around the house?

Neither mind the spiders. Sergio would kill a spider in a silly, dramatic fashion to make Beckett laugh.

Do they have any fears for their future?

Oh yeah. Beckett’s fears are more the personal, about the future of those around him. Besides the obvious of their regnant dying, Sergio worries are broader, about USA and global politics, cultural changes, justice etc.

Their favourite place?

No place is better than a lover’s arms.

Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner?

Sergio will surprise Beckett by spiking their blood with something interesting. Like, they will tell him before he drinks, but Beckett didn’t plan on experimenting with acid.

Who pays the bills?

Beckett tries to, but Sergio is more likely to pay things off.

Who’s the tallest?

They’re the same height.

Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other?

No, they’d ask permission first.

Who wanders around in their underwear?

Sergio, haha. Beckett automatically gets dressed every night.

Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio?

Neither of them are real singers, but Sergio is more likely to be caught humming.

What do they tease each other about?

Beckett will tease Sergio about their recklessness and cosmopolitan ways. Sergio will tease Beckett about his fashion sense and disaster bi ways.

Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times?

Sergio spends a lot of their first date roasting Beckett’s outfit.

Who crushed first?

Sergio. It’s subtle, but Beckett has to slowly remind himself that ghouls are people over the course of “Bad Idea” and “First Date.” It’s like a compassion muscle that he has to limber up.

Any alcohol or substance-related problems?

Sergio is addicted to vampire blood. Cassandra’s specifically.

Who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am?

Hahahaha, probably Sergio? They get drunk WAY easier. If Sergio and Beckett are hanging out, Sergio will likely give Beckett a sip, which means Beckett will be drunk too.

Who swears the most?

We’re beginning and ending this with Sergio swearing, hahaha,

[nosleepuntilvacation]

Hello... I wanna know... Do you still write Mettaton/reader fic ? And, if you do, can you write one with a nonbinary person (or a man), who want to wear some "woman" clothes, and Mettaton help him/them because sometimes he also wear dresses ? Thank you very much

I can try… I’m a cis woman, so I don’t know how well I’ll be able to handle this topic, but I’ll try to be as careful as possible. (If I slip up, please let me know, so I can fix it accordingly.)

PS: sorry this took me five-ever to write. Aside from having writer’s block, I’ve also had school to worry about, and one of my classes is especially difficult.

Below the cut: In Which a Killer Robot Helps You Express Yourself!

Mettaton, you’ve noticed, has always seemed to be a rebel of sorts.

There are some societal rules that he’s always accepted - everyone has to draw the line somewhere, after all - but there are also some rules that have made him openly question, even to the presses, why they are considered rules in the first place.

Someone criticizes him for making “artificial, soulless” synthpop instead of a more down-to-earth style of music? “Well, darling, doesn’t everyone have comfort food? I think a similar thing applies to music - and if I have to be told not to make synthpop, is it really soulless?”

Someone thinks he makes too many jokes on his shows, and that the overall tone of the shows is a little too surreal? “There are already a lot of serious shows on television; I’m filling a niche, sweetheart.”

And, of course, one of the biggest things that people question about him is his choice in fashion.

Despite making it clear that he’s a man in his heart and soul, Mettaton has always presented himself in ways that many people don’t associate with “traditional” masculinity. He wears pink high-heeled boots (and pink things in general) on a regular basis, he sometimes puts on makeup for fancy occasions, he doesn’t mind being seen doing his nails…

There have even been some times where he’s worn dresses and skirts. And not just in private, either; he’s shown up for public interviews and appeared in music videos wearing ballgowns. Of course, he’s been questioned about this more than a few times; his answers tend to range from “monsters don’t approach gender in the same way humans do” to “I just think it looks good on me” and several others depending on his mood - including at least one time where he simply said “because I can”.

You’re not sure if you’ll ever understand how he manages to be so nonchalant about it… especially since you wish you could be as bold as him.

On an otherwise uneventful day, he catches you sitting on the couch and watching some of his music videos, staring wistfully at the screen. It doesn’t take long for him to join you, slipping an arm around you.

“Captivated by my beauty, are we?” he asks; you simply nod in response. If only you knew…

This particular music video is one of the ones where he’s wearing a dress; just watching him makes it clear that he doesn’t consider this to be uncomfortable at all. To him, it’s just another piece of clothing that he will wear as he pleases, like a shirt or a hat or a pair of pants.

But that’s not what the rest of the world typically says about those kinds of clothes. Dresses, skirts, and gowns, according to them, were meant to be worn by women only - and yet Mettaton, who decidedly isn’t a woman, is so casual about wearing them.

And just like him, you also yearn to try wearing clothes like those despite not being a woman. But Mettaton makes it look so easy; maybe it’s just the stigma that’s been ingrained in your head for so long. If there weren’t as much of a stigma, and if you weren’t so worried about what other people thought of you, then maybe…?

“What’s wrong, my love?”

“Huh?” It’s only just now that you noticed you’ve tensed up - but he noticed it first, and is giving you a concerned look.  “Oh… I just have stuff on my mind.”

“Is that so?” He gently takes your hand. “Would you like to talk about it?”

At first, you’re not sure if you want to, but given that Mettaton is probably the person who is least likely to judge you for your wishes, you decide it’s best to tell him.

“I don’t know how you do it… you wear dresses and skirts like it’s the easiest thing in the world. And, well… between you and me, I wish I had the courage to pull it off like you do.” Even now, you’re still not sure how he manages to feel so comfortable wearing whatever he wants – is it just a product of his usual boldness?

He has a thoughtful look on his face as he nods; despite his nonchalance about the whole thing, he definitely seems to know that his wardrobe is a bit of an outlier as far as men’s wardrobes go. Stroking your hand with his thumb, he looks into your eyes. “Perhaps someday, everyone will see that it’s just clothes. But I can assure you, you’re not the first fan of mine who’s felt encouraged to try them on after seeing me do it.”

“Really?”

He smiles and nods. “There have been a few humans and monsters who have tried wearing dresses and skirts after watching me. Of course, we still have a ways to go before it’s universally accepted, but it’s still a start.” Just then, his face settles into contemplation. “Hmm…”

You tilt your head. “What?”

“What if I were to purchase some skirts, and maybe even a dress or two, so you could try them on?”

Your heart starts beating a little more quickly. “You… you’d really do that for me?”

He quirks an eyebrow, still smiling. “Who said I wouldn’t?” With a giggle, he leans in closely so he can whisper in your ear. “Tell me their names so I can give them a talking-to.”

You can’t help but smile, imagining him standing up for you if it ever came to that point. As much as Mettaton loves to showboat, he really does care about those he loves.

And despite your nerves, you feel just a little more sure of yourself.

Standing before the full-length mirror (adorned with pink on the edges), you study your appearance. You have one of your favorite shirts on, and below it, a new black skirt that’s long enough to cover your knees.

So far, it actually feels kind of good. You walk around in a circle; it certainly feels different from pants or shorts, but not in the bad way that makes you want to immediately take it off and put some of your old clothes back on. In fact, you find that you wouldn’t mind trying on one of the dresses that Mettaton bought for you. (He washed this skirt first so you could have something to try on while the other clothes he bought for you were in the wash.)

Knowing that Mettaton is waiting outside the bedroom and wondering about your thoughts, you decide to pay him a visit. As soon as you open the door, he lays eyes on you, and his expression soon goes from neutral to a smile.

Seeing this smile definitely fills you with a sense of relief. “…So, do you like it?”

“I think you look quite lovely as usual, darling.” He gently takes your hand. “But my main concern is, do you like it?”

Something about it feels more than a little empowering; is it the clothes themselves, or the sense of rebellion, or even something else? Despite not knowing where it comes from, you look at him and nod. “Yeah… I think I could really get used to this. Thank you so much.”

His smile only gets bigger, and he soon pulls you into a huge hug. “That’s so wonderful, darling! As long as those clothes make you feel good, go right ahead and wear them.” He kisses your forehead before looking deeply into your eyes. “And I personally think you look beautiful in them.”

Your heart feels warm inside as you return the hug…

…and he soon picks you up and sets you back down on the bed before climbing on himself so he can give you some more cuddles. You cuddle up close to him and close your eyes, both looking and feeling beautiful on the outside and inside.

You still don’t feel ready to take this out in public quite yet, but it’s still a great start – and with Mettaton by your side, you know you’ll never have to be afraid.

[thecinephale]

Super Girl: The Effort to Look Female

Harrisonburg is not rural Virginia. It’s a city. It inhabits over 50,000 people, includes James Madison University, and has gone Democrat every presidential election since 2008. Still, I spent the last few weeks with my stomach in knots, working out a strategy for my weekend there. While the wedding I was attending was right on the JMU campus, our Airbnb was deeper into Rockingham County, my girlfriend’s grandma lives in Stuart’s Draft, and we had to drive through all sorts of places to get there and back from Brooklyn. 

And as my friend Kelly said, “It’s a college town, sure, but there IS a Cracker Barrel.”

***

Next week marks my one year on hormones. Some trans people call this a second birthday, but for me that date is too nebulous. Do I claim the doctor’s appointment that acted as a first consultation? Or the first time I let a green oval of estrogen slowly dissolve under my tongue? Maybe it’s a month further when my bloodwork came back normal and I began taking a proper dosage?  

I prefer to think of transitioning as a process with many beginnings. If I had to pick a date, it would be May 12, 2017, when I fully came out to myself. But even this erases the person I was at 16 who dressed in drag for the first time. 

A year on hormones doesn’t feel like a landmark. It feels like I’m running out of time. Everyone is different, but I know generally there’s a timeline of when changes occur and when they stop. Some people claim it’s a four year process, but most people see the majority of changes in the first two years. I’m halfway there.

***

Sunday night the first trans superhero appeared in mainstream media. Nicole Maines portrayed the character of Nia Nal on The CW’s Supergirl in its fourth season premiere. Like hormone birthdays, this monumental event can’t be reduced to a single day. Nia isn’t a superhero yet, for now just a reporter working under Kara/Supergirl. And her transness has not been discussed. Both are known because they were announced at Comic Con back in July. The first trans superhero in mainstream media, played by a trans actress. 

Nicole Maines knew she was trans when she was 3 years old. By the time she was able to vote, Maines had successfully sued her school district, ensuring basic human rights for all transgender students in her home state of Maine. The CW’s marketing team has played up the “real life hero plays on-screen hero” angle and they’re not wrong. 

I knew I was trans 20 years later in my life, after I’d finished my first puberty and voted in two presidential elections. Maines and I have drastically different experiences of transness, and yet I spent the last several months watching 65 episodes of Supergirl (plus crossovers!) to prepare for her debut this week. Sure, most trans women don’t look like Nicole Maines. Most cis women don’t look like Melissa Benoist. This is how this works.

***

Once I decided to go on this trip to Virginia, I also had to decide how I was going to present. I’ve been, as they say, full-time since February. Some days I just wear jeans and a t-shirt, like most women, but it’s been a long time since I’ve actively pretended to be a man. It always made me feel awful and as my breasts grew (now at a C cup!) it became more and more difficult. My girlfriend’s extended family knew she was dating a woman, but didn’t know I was trans. I felt up to the challenge. This weekend I was just a woman. Period.

It’s been my experience that the most mindlessly validating individuals are those I’d least expect: catcallers and the elderly. My guess is they have limited knowledge of transness and classically feminine signifiers like a skirt or long hair makes their animal brain think woman. Of course, if they notice their “mistake” the catcallers will be especially cruel. Still, these experiences factored into my expectation that a high femme presentation would get me through this weekend. 

I have no idea what I look like. I’m not sure I ever will. Intellectually I know my face has feminized, but I don’t know how much. I don’t know why sometimes I get correctly gendered, but mostly not. I don’t know if people are just humoring me or saying what they’re supposed to or being kind when they say “Miss.”

I appreciate this effort, but it’s not what I want. I want to look in the mirror and see a woman, I want the people in my life to look at me and see a woman, and I want strangers to look at me and see a woman.

In Virginia, nobody saw a woman.

***

The most trans-related scene in Nicole Maines’ first episode didn’t feature her at all. Martian J’onn J’onzz (David Harewood), recently retired, has joined an alien support group. While Supergirl has previously leaned hard on the alien as immigrant analogy, this scene isn’t the first time the show has equated alien status with queerness. Season two introduced an underground alien bar that was obviously meant to evoke the historic haven of the gay bar.  

An alien that looks human begins by saying he’s at the group to share his happiness. “For the first time since I’ve been on this planet I feel like I fit in,” he says with a smile. “And it’s because of this.” He taps a device on the side of his head that reveals his true alien form, before switching back to the human veneer. 

An older alien who looks human but has pointed ears and tusks on his forearms pushes back. “Who decides what’s normal? Why should we have to wear these devices that change our appearance so we can be tolerated?”

The first alien responds with the obvious: “Well, that’s easy for you to say. You just look like a Tolkien fan.”

***

Whether we want to look cis and whether we have the ability to look cis is certain to be a heated topic between trans people, because it’s often a heated topic within ourselves. Everyone is taking stock of what they have and what they want. And sometimes it’s impossible to distinguish what we truly need to feel okay and what society tells us we need. I identify as a binary trans woman, not because I believe in the gender binary, but because I’m close enough that I can live (for now) with that conformity. The more gender non-conforming you naturally are and the more gender non-conforming you desire to be the more external pressure you’ll receive.

I’m 5’5 and 110 pounds and within my first three months on hormones I’d developed breasts. These are my natural privileges. My body hair, facial hair, and Adam’s apple are my negatives. The curly hair on my head and my masculine but not that masculine face are up for debate. Every week I get an hour of electrolysis done on my face, which is the process of hot needles and tweezers manually killing every hair follicle. It’s more painful than it sounds. I’m one year into this process and have at least another year left. It costs $75 per session and my ability to afford that at all is another privilege, while the huge chunk of my income that takes up is another negative.

My facial hair is my biggest insecurity and whenever I get misgendered I assume that’s the reason. My mom regularly insists it’s my Adam’s apple and if I would just get that surgically reduced I’d be able to “pass.” The truth is probably more complex. A mix between stubble, the Adam’s apple, and the small characteristics that are targeted in a comprehensive surgical process known as Facial Feminization Surgery. 

I’ve never wanted FFS. I can’t even decide if I want the Adam’s apple surgery. Going on hormones was such an easy, obvious choice for me, but these surgeries can feel like a betrayal of my transness. I don’t want to look cis. But I do want to look like a woman. I’ve started to worry that for the rest of the world those will always be the same thing.

Due to my size I thought I would be like the alien who looks pretty normal but just has tusks on his arms. I could proudly be like, “Look at my tusks/Adam’s apple! I’m an alien/trans. Deal with it.” Maybe I’m really the other alien, whose life is consumed by their alien status unless they change themselves. Or maybe we’re all both aliens and the support group is our minds. Two sides debating, one that looks in the mirror and sees a woman with some unique qualities, another that looks in the mirror and sees a man who needs to change.

***

I wasn’t misgendered until halfway through the wedding reception. I certainly got stares, but it was unclear whether those were lesbian couple stares or transgender stares. I chose to think lesbian couple. Last week my electrologist worked under my jaw so I could wear a full face of makeup. I wore a blue and white Kate Spade dress that was conservative yet flattering. I had on heels and my hair was up. It was the most femme I’ve ever looked. If a random catcaller correctly gendered me the week before when I was wearing a sweatshirt and no makeup, then surely my gender had registered now.

Again, the goal is not that no one knows I’m trans. The goal is for people, without thinking, to say “she.” If afterwards they go “Hmm is this one of those transgendereds I’ve read about?” then fine. But I want to win over the gut instinct. I know this is wrong. Our identities shouldn’t require any external validation. But they do. 

Once I began interacting with people and there was cause to gender me, I did about 50/50. But even when correct there was a pause. I suddenly felt very foolish. This idea I had that I was my harshest critic, that the man I saw in the mirror would look like a woman to these Virginians, was painfully misguided. I look how I look. It will continue to change gradually as I continue hormones and electrolysis, and this may or may not change how others perceive me. I can then choose to alter my appearance further with surgeries or, simply, accept the way I look.

***

“There’s nothing slight about fashion,” Nia says pitching a story. “It’s one of the most visceral forms of art. What we choose to wear tells a story about who we are.” A trans woman believing in the power of presentation is not exactly groundbreaking. But the show has always been filled with clichés that work because they’re true. 

What struck me most watching Maines’ debut was the immediate fondness I had for her. This, of course, has as much to do with talent and charisma as it does transness. Maines injects Nia with an immediate likability, an awkwardness that recalls season one Kara, but with an added vulnerability. I’d framed this character as a necessary first step. Sure, she looks like Nicole Maines… still a trans superhero! But watching her on screen I became very aware that I don’t know Nicole’s insecurities and I don’t know Nia’s. I don’t know anybody’s experience of transness except my own. I don’t even know what gender is or what it means to be trans. Nobody does. We may craft personal narratives to decipher our wants and needs. Cis society may craft narratives to understand, or, more commonly, to erase. But we don’t know. I don’t know why sometimes I look one way to some people and a different way to other people. I don’t know why I have some insecurities and not others. I don’t know why some clothes feel good. Or why some do not.

What I do know is that it felt good to see Nicole Maines on screen. I know that when Kara looked at her and said, “Oh my God. You’re me,” I thought, no. She’s me.

[healthgnome]

Dear, Isaiah because it’s come to my attention.

It has come to my attention that the past back-and-forth of abuse accusations have been slowly resurrected and I see now that it is certainly within my time to once more explain my side. I truly wish not to be slandered and lied about on such a big platform and I wish the same for my friends, Ryan and Zayne. I genuinely try very much to be a decent, good, and helpful person. Sometimes I slip up as anyone would but I certainly know that I would never try and genuinely bully or hurt someone. For any time I might have joined in on some fun-making - trying not to go overboard and apologizing if I did end up actually hurting- I once again of course apologize for that. I go with the flow of how I think a dynamic is working and sometimes a dynamic does involve some making fun meant in no big harm. A prime example of such would be the friendships between Mark (Markiplier), Bob (Muyskerm), and Wade (LordMinion777). Where it is within understanding that they are all good friends but Wade gets the brunt of a lot of jokes. Any time there is sincere hurt, not that we have seen- but I guarantee there would be apology.

In Any Case, now that that introduction is out of the way I shall diffuse all that has been said in a post made by former friend Isaiah AKA (currently) @for-abused-kids about myself, Zayne (@thevvytchbytch) and Ryan (@literallyrealdeadstuff).

Not one of us have “stalked” your blog on a daily to find out if you have talked shit. If you mean during that whole giant commotion, sure there was a lot of digging in order to actually provide evidence for the claims we make. After that? Maybe checked out some posts to make sure there wasn’t still any sort of slander on any of our names, or we were informed of such a thing taking place. And yes, you have had their name(s) and mine on your blog in a “talking shit” kind of way.

We did not go to your house after dark, how would you know if you weren’t there. That is assumption. (and you know what they say lol) And a letter was written to your parents coming from a place of concern and explanation. I had not wished any abuse on you to happen.

As well, you are repeatedly saying that we lied to your mother telling her you ripped up the note. It was not meant to be a lie or anything of the sort, we simply had no contact and therefore wanted to make sure the note was actually read.

Hmm. I would really like to point out though that you claim that Zayne had the audacity to go to your home and deliver this note with someone who stole from your home while at the hospital. Do not act like you are not leaving out very important parts to this statement, and that the counterpart, leader, truest perpetrator, and manipulator to this was someone mentioned throughout this letter.

There was a lot of yelling between yourself and Zayne. A lot of it was not meant in harm, which was understood at least eventually; a lot of it was out of anger because something had happened, was done, or was said. And there was a lot of back and forth.

Allan was a friend of all of us for a while until he was slowly let go from all of us because he is a bad person. Personally, I stayed friends because my really fucked up brain could not handle being any more alone than I already was. You had liked him for a long time. Told us about it, or when certain things may have happened; sometimes these feelings went away (which is normal), and sometimes they were strong. I can provide proof for this too. Yes he was an awful person, and I was usually on your side when he did bully you. I did exclaim, and of course I understand how feelings work, that perhaps not being friends would be a good idea. I also told Allan this countless times but he enjoyed messing with you and I am not him nor could I control his actions.

The competition? There was a small friendly barely-a-competition thing going on in regards with Zayne. And it had barely lasted as well. At least from what I understood.

Ah yes the cum stains things. We used the word cum out of what we thought would be respect for your identifying away from femininity. Just as we would use the word “dick” or any variations thereof rather than vagina when referring to most of us and genitalia. Which sounds gross to say but we are teens, most of us horny, most everyone on T, genitals were a common point of discussion. And yes, you did leave vaginal discharge stains, or cum stains or whatever you feel most comfortable calling it, on the futon. And this is a pretty normal thing from what I know. People “get wet” and people have sexual liquids. It be like that.

From what I, and many others know, you do talk to a lot of people, including children, about your trauma.

I don’t remember you purposely triggering Zayne with Ed Sheehan, you did not have control anyway; Allan was the controller and was persistent on having that song on. However, you have attempted to physically hurt Zayne when you punched them. It did not actually hurt because it was frankly weak (not that I could do much better). What next you’re referring to after this is that Zayne was allowed by yourself to punch back; they simply know how to and are stronger than they appear.

Oh god. The Asian thing. That’s a huge bag on it’s own and has been talked about previously, you want more info on this or another post? Talk to me. Here is a link to a post with a bunch of evidence of this and other things & here is a link to a quick post by Ryan. There will also be a couple of photos at the end of this. But simply, Isaiah, your evidence was hardly; you have very white features, two very white parents, and have never presented otherwise, this coming from a very white person.

Congruently, have you seen Ryan or a picture of him recently? He has anything but thin lips. If you’d care for an example of thin, look at me. His hair is quite thick, has varying curls throughout as has been complained about and explained in the past. As well, it does deeply tangle itself if not taken care of daily. I, on the other hand never brush my hair- at the same length- and it barely gets more than a little disheveled. There is evidence of all of this. He does not at all have a small nose. Whilst not the darkest person, the summer provides a pretty good tan, more so in his youth. His father is actually not white- which is a known fact rather than a guess. If he is at least a quarter black, and has those features, I think it’s fair for him to claim that he is mixed on a hookup/dating app.

Oh, and I am quite aware of all of the arguments you’ve had about your father and his heritage. It’s what sparked that one post about the “Native American” 80’s/90s festival necklace. Which was a genuinely funny incident if you look back on it.

I have heard varying things to do with you imagining sex with anyone you are friends with. Just as I have heard varying statements about a lot of things that you exclaim to have or currently happen in your life.

We have called you straight as you have called yourself straight or straight-passing because of the fact that you were or are masc-aligned and would now prefer to date fem-aligned individuals due to trauma. But considering you are not mono-attracted to only men/masculine leaning individuals, you are not completely gay either. So if you can call yourself one you can essentially call yourself the other since you seem to be comfortable enough doing so. (I’ve recently seen a word to use for nonbinary-straight attraction! it’s “strayt”; similarly, there is “gai.” I bring these up not to make-fun or cause harm but they may be useful to you.)

In regards to Ingrid, as far as you have spoken to us and as we have seen, you have changed what you claim to have identified as whilst dating her. From secretly trans, to a cis girl, to questioning (not in this order, necessarily). Regardless, for many reasons it seems as though this was an unhealthy relationship.

You have taken stories right out of others lives and claimed them to be your own, these would be delusions, dear, not hallucinations. And it is at least a possibility that a lot of other things are delusions, too. This coming from someone who has had experiences with some sort of psychosis, delusions, hallucinations, gas lighting (from yourself, Isaiah. as well as from others.) and other such things that I can explain more if asked. And there is evidence of this all, as well.

I have never been abused by my parents. They are wonderful individuals who also try to be good, decent people. They have taken in my friends (including you, Isaiah) and done a lot to help them in times of abuse and need as well. That being said, there can be, from what I’ve seen, varying degrees and methodologies of abuse that different groups take part in. They are all horrific and I absolutely, full-heartedly, condemn all of it. But that is a fact given by apparent evidence. This being said, your parents have Not admitted to doing all of this, at least not to yourself, but to your sisters. I am genuinely curious as to why, if they’d admit doing harm to them both to you and in writing, why would they not come through with all of this to yourself?

On this topic, Stockholm syndrome, while something truly awful, is a kidnap-specific symptom. You can google how it affects others, but those websites are a lot less trust-worthy. We both went through the Hell of the junior research project and you are an academically intelligent person, you should be able to tell the difference between a trustworthy site and an untrustworthy one.

As far as your gender, speculations have been made based upon a lot of things you have said, and some seeming fetishization of nonbinary people. This is not said to invalidate your feelings or anyone else’s for that matter. It is simply that you are a rightfully suspicious individual. Again, this coming from trans people both binary and non- alike.

Regarding what I’m pretty sure is the video of you sitting on my legs, Isaiah, I don’t remember if there was an apology (whether or not in the video) but this wouldn’t be the first or last time something like this had occurred.

Finally, you have abused me. You have done me harm and I now understand that. I have tried to do a lot for you but you have done a lot to and taken advantage of me and my mental state. 

Once again here is a link to a post with A Lot of evidence. Want more? Contact me.

As always, best regards to your mental health,

former friend, Alana.

PS; Please, for the love of everything, do stop misgendering Zayne and use *their* correct pronouns ( they / them ) !

The photo below contains obviously curly hair, not-at-all thin lips, a not-at-all small nose, etc. You can see.

[crimsonrevolt]

Congratulations Amy you’ve been accepted to Crimson Revolt as Druella Black!

↳ please refer to our character checklist

We adored how much time you spent fleshing out her character, and how you took the extra energy to check in with us about how players connected to her felt about her character and their development to make sure your Druella would fit in like a glove! Your para sample was lovely and we’re so excited to see you explore the plot ideas you have listed -- your Druella will be a fantastic addition to the roleplay and we know she’ll have some amazing connections with players already and it’s so exciting to see that! *your face-claim change has been accepted!

application beneath the cut

OUT OF CHARACTER

INTRODUCTION

Hello! I’m Amy! I’m 18, and my timezone is GMT-6.

ACTIVITY

I’m always horrible at giving activity in numbers, but maybe a 6.5 or 7 out of 10? I’m in another RP, but I can still be on  at least every other day, with more time on weekends.

TRIGGERS

*removed for privacy

HOW DID YOU FIND US?

By looking through the “marauders rp” and “marauders rpg” tags.

WHAT HARRY POTTER CHARACTER DO YOU IDENTIFY WITH MOST?

Ooh, good question. I’ve loved Luna ever since I read the series for the first time, but I don’t think I’m like her at all. Hermione, maybe? I read a lot, and I get very, very absorbed in trivia and all kinds of learning-related things.

ANYTHING ELSE?

No, I think I’m alright, thanks! You’ve already been very helpful with answering my questions!

IN CHARACTER

DESIRED CHARACTER

Druella Black

FACE CLAIM

If it’s still alright with you, I’d like to go for Joely Richardson, please!

REASON FOR CHOSEN CHARACTER

Ah, Druella. Well, first of all, I was thrilled to see that she was available, since I haven’t seen the parents of the marauders’ generation in RPs much,  except as npcs. (I love playing older characters, so I was thrilled to see her.)

I’ve played Narcissa before in the past, so I’ve definitely wondered for a while how some of those family dynamics could look from the perspective of the older Blacks. People have gotten to play with how Andromeda’s departure impacts her sisters, but what about the parents?      

I see Druella as someone whose entire world is based on appearances and doing what is expected of her. She doesn’t mind this too much. She’s charming and confident and good with people, (and a snappy dresser too) so the demands of pureblood society come fairly easily to her.

Well, some of them do. Other things are beyond her control. For example, the inability to produce a male heir. This was a huge blow and source of stress to her at first. But with the addition of each little girl, she grew more and more resolved to… she would call it making up for things, but you or I might call it overcompensation. If her children were all going to be women, then they were going to be the most elegant, most ladylike women in all of the wizarding world.

I also think it might be really interesting to explore how Druella, as someone who is situated right at the heart of pureblood society, copes with its demands and problems. Especially when her life starts to go more awry than she thought it would. Given how important reputation is to the family, it could be really great to play with how she reacts to the shame of Andromeda marrying Ted.

PREFERRED SHIPS // CHARACTER SEXUALITY // GENDER & PRONOUNS

I’m not quite sure how to format this, so I’m just going to do the basics first, then the analysis.

Gender and pronouns: Cis female, she/her. // Preferred ships: I’m open to anything, except maybe incest.

Like most other women she knew, Druella did not have the luxury of marrying for love. Her marriage was orchestrated between the parents of her family and that of her husband. Her role in it all was to hope for the best.

And in her world, you couldn’t ask for anyone better than Cygnus Black. It came as no surprise to her that she could marry into the House of Black. After all, she was quite the catch. Beautiful, smart, in possession of some family galleons. Of course the Blacks would want her. But that didn’t mean she was any less pleased.

But how did they match up, in a more personal sense? If asked Druella would certainly say she loved her husband. Not with a burning passion, mind you, but she had few complaints. They made a good team, and they certainly looked good together.

She has wondered though, just a little, what life with someone of her own choosing. Not that she would ever do anything about it. She likes her life, for the most part. But everyone wonders a little. Even Druella Black.

In Druella’s experience, sex  has been more about creating a suitable family tree than anything fun or pleasurable. In the early years of her marriage, it was more of a source of stress for her. As a result, she’s not quite sure how to feel about it. She’s never been very adventurous with it, but that’s never bothered her. It’s just sort of…there.  

CREATE ONE (OR MORE!) OF THE FOLLOWING FOR YOUR CHARACTER:

-A MOCKBLOG

https://druellablackmockblog.tumblr.com/

I’ve never made a mockblog before, but I hope you have fun poking around!

-A FEW POTENTIAL PLOT POINTS

I would love to play around with Druella’s relationship to her two remaining daughters, and how desperate she is to make sure she doesn’t lose another one. I picture her as showing some favouritism towards Narcissa, but obviously I’d have to clear that with Bella and Cissy’s players, haha. I feel like Druella is one of those moms who’s always secretly (or not so secretly) judging her kids in everything they do, so that might provide a nice source of tension.  

I would also love to explore how Druella copes with the fact that people’s opinions of her family might have changed with Andromeda leaving. Status is very important to her, so it might be really fun to see how she tries to preserve her status among the purebloods. Depending on what people think of her now, she might pretend nothing ever happened, or spend years publicly disowning Andy, or even get more involved with the DEs to prove that she’s loyal.

I know Walburga’s still open, but I would love to see how their relationship might work, and how you might be able to play with how they each deal with their children defecting. Would they talk about it? Maybe it would bring them closer. Or maybe it would never be spoken about. (This could be interesting with Orion too.)  

IN CHARACTER QUESTIONNAIRE

The following section should be looked at like a survey for your character. Answer them in character and feel free to use gifs. Or, if you’d rather, answer them in third person or OOC without gifs. Answers do not have to be extremely lengthy.

♔ If you were able to invent one spell, potion, or charm, what would it do, what would you use it for or how would you use it? Feel free to name it:

“Hmm. Perhaps a spell to thin out the mudblood population? If not that, then one to make my house elves work faster. It’s so hard to find good help these days, don’t you find?”

♔ You have to venture deep into the Forbidden Forest one night. Pick one other character and one object (muggle or magical), besides your wand, that you’d want with you:

“I like to think that I could handle myself fairly well in that situation, but given the chance I would probably take my husband — he’s a fairly proficient dueller, you see. And I would take… a mirror. If needed, I could throw it at any monsters. But if there weren’t any, I would be quite happy to use it for its normal purpose.”

♔ What kinds of decisions are the most difficult for you to make?

“Difficult? I’ve found that in most matters — housekeeping, entertaining, even family — you can decide most things using the same method.You simply have to weigh your pros and cons. Look at what life will be like if you make one choice over the other. And then live with your choice, whatever it might be.”

♔ What is one thing you would never want said about you?

“I would never want anyone to say that I… run in the wrong circles, if that’s the right phrase. But I doubt there’s much danger of that.”

WRITING SAMPLE

One of the things Druella loved most about her family was their sense of tradition. Today, she was indulging in a favourite one. When her daughters had moved out, to begin their new lives, she’d suggested something to keep them close. A periodic lunch date with each girl. So they could catch up with each other. And also, though she would never say, so she could keep an eye on them.

Today was her day to catch up with Narcissa. As Druella walked into the little cafe they had agreed upon, she was immidiately flooded with a sense of being watched.  It was a feeling she relished. Where others might shrivel under the attention, she felt the curious eyes on her, the whispers of adoring gossip, and felt at ease. She was about to sit down with her lovely girl, the two of them looking like pictures, and provoke the envy of every soul in the room.

She weaved her way slowly through the tables until she found a suitably spotless one. She sat down, smoothed her already smooth hair, and checked her watch. She was early. “Excuse me,” she called to a serving witch. “Get me a glass of wine, please. Thank you.”  If she was early, she had time to think.

And today was a day where Druella did not want to think clearly.

Because, you see, today wasn’t just the day to meet her youngest daughter for a chat. Today was the anniversary of her middle child leaving the family.

The little mudblood-loving idiot. Tearing the family apart to hop into bed with Ted Tonks. Even his name sounded common. Why? Why had she done it?

Druella knew she shouldn’t think about it. Instead, she should rewrite things. She had two daughters. No third to speak of. No middle child off out there, on the other side of the war. Palling around with heathens in some commune for mugglle enthusiasts, or something.

She shouldn’t have suggested that Cissy meet her today. No doubt she’d been thinking about it too. But what other options did she have? Surely they all had to just carry on as normal.

Just as the wine arrived, Druella spotted a familiar blonde head. One that she hoped would arrive for many more lunches to come. “Darling!” She rushed over to her daughter and looked her up and down. “You’re looking thin, dear. We ought to get some meat on your bones.” She picked up Narcissa’s willowy wrist and examined it. “And pale. Like you’re made of parchment.” Druella lead her child over to the table and fixed her with a steady gaze. “How are you, sweetheart?” There. Just like any other lunch.