#and he also looks like. 45. he's like a fucking baby he's like 19. it's awful.

[bitegore]

Moth Jedao has suffered more than god huh

[thepixelelf]

Oh Baby, You - svt smau

The birth of your son three years ago was what caused your breakup with Wonwoo, your longtime (and at that point, long distance) partner. Now, you're getting concerned that Orion is starting to look a lot like his dad, but that's not your only problem. Wonwoo is back… and he's living across the hall.

Genres: smau, romance, drama, comedy, angst, single parent au

Pairing: jeon wonwoo x afab they/she reader x mystery member(s)

Warnings: coarse language, conversations about sex, mentions of pregnancy, mama/mom/mother is used to refer to reader's parental status sometimes, infidelity, light alcoholism, miscommunication as a plot device, some of the teenies are not so nice at times, slut shaming, angst, everything is unrealistically dramatic because this is basically a kdrama in text/twitter form. warnings may be updated as they come, but I will label chapters properly if it's anything major

Note: unfortunately, I did have to make the mc for this series have female reproductive organs because, well... that's the plot. I couldn't find a good way around it :( if anyone reading this is discouraged, please know that pretty much every other fic I've ever posted is gender neutral. So, if you think you might've liked this smau, please check out my masterlist! hopefully there will be something you like there :) ALSO! if anyone makes fun of Orion's name just know that it's the name of a precious baby cousin of mine and if you bully smau Orion you are bullying irl Orion!! do not touch him!!!

(new!) Updates will post when I have the time and motivation

The taglist is full! Leave a comment under the post linked here if you're not on the main taglist to be notified when Oh Baby, You is completed.

Profiles I: Orion's Prettyboy(gn) Posse

Profiles II: Wonwoo's Famous Friend and the Other Guys

Profiles III: Gyu and the Rise of Capitalism

1. Everybody Loves Vernon

2. Tens Among Tens

3. Grown Ass Men

4. I Hate This FUcking Family

5. The Ones Keeping Secrets

6. A LITTLE Curious

7. You Go Girl Get His Ass

8. The Calm

9. The Storm

10. It's Been a While

11. Fucked Up Coincidences

12. Not... a BAD Guy

13. Still So Affected

14. Just My Type

15. Nothing to Hide

16. Fists Up

17. Act Natural

18. Girl, They Blocked You

19. Plot Relevance

20. Actually it is a Date

21. It's All Pretty Confusing

22. Scripted

23. All it Takes is a Smile

24. Yoon Jeonghan is Watching

25. Completely Surrounded

26. No Such Thing

27. What Does That Mean

28. A Name I've Heard Recently

29. Can't Risk It

30. Errand Day

31. One Day at a Time

32. Confrontation

33. Not Looking to be a Parent Any Time Soon

34. What if I

35. For This Little Guy

36. Get Blocked

37. I'll Take Care of You

38. Messed Up, Stupid, and Jaded

39. You Fucked Up

40. That's For You to Figure Out

41. Need to Try Something

42. Recovery Mission?

43. Your Everything

44. You're Cute When You're Like This

45. Not Sponsored

46. This is Nothing

47. Promise? Promise

48. Hhrk

49. A Busy Afternoon

50. Cherry

51. Don't Freak Out

chapters loading...

52. Bad Guys

53. Everything is Fine

OBY Ask the Characters Game

[melanated-writersblock]

(O.M.G.P) One Month Grace Period

Toji x Chubby/Plus-Size!Black!Female!Reader

~No Nut November is over, and Toji couldn’t think of anything more exciting than turning you into his free use slut to bring in the new month😘

A/N & Warnings: I’M SORRY YALL I GOT CARRIED AWAY WITH THE STORY IT IS LONG AS FUCK!!! But it’s not just porn with no plot!!! (For those of you that aren’t just in it to get mentally dicked down, I wrote a prologue! The link is below and can be read before you start this fic!)

LIKES ARE COOL, BUT COMMENTS AND REBLOGS ARE BETTER! PLEASE LEMME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! ALSO DON’T COPY MY SHIT. I WILL KNOW.

Content: Multi-sex scenes, praise/degradation, free-use so dub-con, Oral (f receiving), a small bit of spit kink in there, fingering, shower sex, couch sex, kitchen sex, bedroom sex, unprotected sex, What did NLE Choppa say? MEAT TO MEAT! WALL TO WALL! COOCHIE TO MY BALLS!🗣️ (18+ MDNI)

SONG RECOMMENDATIONS: Freaky Bih from Da A - Louisvt, Fuck The World - Brent Faiyaz, What You Need - Don Toliver, 2AM - SZA, Ambré’s Interlude - Destin Conrade, Animosity/ Dear Xodi - Johnny Rain

Prologue - November 30th

December 1st

12:45 AM.

Your thighs quivered as Toji pounded into you relentlessly, the lewd sound of skin slapping as his precum mixed with your wetness filled the room. It felt too good, you didn’t know whether to scream or just shut up and take it. Between Toji having one arm over you bracing the headboard and the other pushing your thighs back, knees near your chest, you felt yourself getting a little too close. “Oooh- Toji, I’m gonna….oh fuuuhhhkkk~” Toji chuckled at your mewling, “Look at you, only 45 minutes in and you’re ready to cum on my cock like a greedy little slut.” His pace slowed, almost painfully. “I didn’t give you permission to do that just yet, Princess.”Watching his girth slide in and out of you, Toji brings two fingers to the base of his dick where your cream spills out with each thrust and sucks his fingers clean. You can’t help but moan at the sight of something so sinful yet passionate, you clench around him as his slow pace persists. Too far gone and busy chasing ecstasy, you didn’t notice Toji move his arm from gripping the headboard to cradle the back of your head as he leaned his weight into you, with his mouth next to your ear. “Yeahhh you’re clenching around me so tight, you’re such a fucking slut. Taking this dick like the good little bitch you are, you’re so fucking wet for me.” “Unnnhhh~” “Ooohhh, yeah. Yeah?” “Yes-yes-yes~fuccck!” “Come on Baby, I can’t give you what you want if you don’t tell me~” “Toji don’t make me……fuck…….please…..Toji pleaseee~” His pace picks up, “How hard was that, Hmm? You’re too shy to ask me to cum but you’re making a mess on my cock with no problem.” As his thrusts get harder he cradles your head, blocking it from hitting the headboard, his fingers weaving through your box braids, your floral bonnet long gone, thrown somewhere on the nightstand. You hold onto his sturdy arms for some sort of anchor, as you feel your soul quite literally about to leave your body. You let the sudden wave of pleasure take over your body as you shudder, mouth open, screaming vulnerably, eyes closed, with tears brimming. “Yesss, cum for me, give it to me, give it to me. Ohhhh, Good Girl!”

9:19 AM.

“Ah fuckkkk, that’s it~” Toji hoisted you against the tiled shower wall with your full legs wrapped around his waist as he fucks into you, the supple flesh of your ass moving with ease as he guides you onto him, the steam of the hot shower shrouding the entire bathroom in a thick fog. Your morning routine took a turn when your shower time got sabotaged by Toji and his morning wood. So here you were, getting lifted up and impaled on his dick like you weighed absolutely nothing. Still dazed from the midnight session, the pleasure was intense, and you were honestly, still kinda sensitive. You leaned your back against the warm tiles and pushed your hands on his sculpted chest to brace yourself and lessen the force of the thrusts, but each time you’d lean against the wall he would lean back so your full weight was on him and your breasts were flush against his chest. Despite your voluptuous stature, he was able to manhandle you and throw you around like a simple bag of sugar. One of his many redeeming qualities, and admirable…..but not in this situation. “Come on Baby, you were being so good for me earlier. You sensitive?” You couldn’t speak, and he knew it. Toji got off at the thought of you still being fucked out and a moaning mess. It haunted his dreams all November. Imagining how many ways he could make you cum on him, scream and writhe in pleasure, all while he’s still chasing his first high.

12:04 PM.

You knew the kitchen incident would have to be addressed at some point, but this isn’t how you expected it to go. “Move your fucking hand.” “Toji pleaseeee, you’re gonna make me cum again~” “That’s the whole point, now move your hand and keep your legs open.” You were in the process of making lunch because you and Toji agreed that you both were hungry, but apparently you weren’t on the same page. Toji made quick work of lifting you onto the kitchen counter and throwing your thighs over his shoulders before going to town. Looking down at him from your seated position, his tousled black hair visible as he laps up your juices. “You taste so fucking good Princess~” Toji was wearing you down, every single word out of his mouth brought you that much closer to your next orgasm, “~Thank you”. He stops for a moment to give you a kiss and you moan, tasting yourself on him. “You’re being so obedient” Toji spits, and the long string of saliva slowly trickles down from your clit to your pussy. You look at him full of awe and arousal at how irrationally hot that little trick was. Laughing at your reaction, he spits on his middle and ring finger before plunging them into your dripping pussy. Starting off slowly in a “come hither” motion, he watches as your eyes roll back at the sensation, using his second hand to toy with your clit. “Aww, my obedient little fuckdoll, looks so cute when she’s gonna cum.” FUCK, you couldn’t take it anymore, he’s too good at this. He didn’t even cum yet!

4:32 PM.

“Shiiiiiit!” You cry into the plush sofa armrest as you make poor attempts to squirm away from Toji’s firm grip on your wide hips as he pulls you back onto him. Your ass ripples as he speeds up his pace at an almost inhuman speed, your whimpering and cries growing louder. “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! I’m gonna cum!” Toji’s brutal pace finally started to falter, something that rarely happens…meaning he’s definitely close. He pulls out, and some of his precum mixed with yours spills out of you. “Not yet Princess, get up for me.” Seeing your dumbstruck state, Toji peels your dazed frame off of the armrest. He sits at the edge of the sofa, legs parted and sits you on top of him with your back to his chest and your legs spread on either side of his. “Theeere we go~”, Toji slides his throbbing dick along your pussy as you shudder, leaning your body back against his in a moment of recovery, resting your head back on his shoulder. He kisses your neck before moving to your ear to whisper, “Here’s what’s gonna happen…I’m gonna finish fucking your brains out, and you’re gonna cum again while I fill you up. Okay?” All you could do was sigh. “Nod, if you understand Princess…” you shake your head subtly still catching yourself. Toji noticed this, and gave you time before snaking his arm around your tummy. “You gonna be a good girl and cum for me?” He slides into you, and you cry out, “Shhh, shh, shh, breathe. You’re okay.” His pace starts to pick up, “Ahhhhhhhhh~” “I knowww, Baby, I knowww, Fuck!” Toji’s words started to slur as he continued to fuck you, a creamy mess pooling at his lap as you both began seeing stars, “Fuuhhkkk you look so pretty like this, shit. You want me to cum inside of you, hm? You want me to fill you up? Turn you into my…..fuck…..my little cumdrunk slut?” “Unnnggggg fuck, Toji, Yeeeeesssss~” You couldn’t help yourself as the tears began to fall, you were in too deep (and so was he), and too far gone to know what the fuck was going on anymore. Your climax washed over you like a tsunami….so strong until you didn’t even realize you squirted all over Toji and went unconscious for 10 seconds. Coming to, Toji was already grabbing a blanket and water for you, “Good Girl, you did amazing cumming all over me like that. I’m so proud of you.”. You smiled, nestling into him as you settled down. Finally, a moment of peace. On the verge of nodding off, you couldn’t help but feel a particular unsettled energy. You look at Toji, who seems relaxed…but not the type of relaxed that someone that just had an orgasm should be. “Toji?” “Hm?” “You didn’t finish…did you?” He looks at you with a mischievous grin, “Not one bit.”

This is going to be a looong month.

[shanastoryteller]

Happy Halloween!!! More Lady Mo? I love your writings!!

a continuation of 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48

Lan Zhan doesn’t want their baby.

Not their baby, he forces himself to think through the blood pounding in his ears. This body doesn’t belong to him. He’s just borrowing it, and the child he’s carrying no more belongs to him than the body he’s wearing. It’s Lan Zhan’s baby. And he doesn’t want it.

For the first time, he’s grateful that Mo Xuanyu didn’t stick around. It’s breaking his heart, and the baby isn’t even his. This would have killed her.

Or maybe it wouldn’t have. She didn’t want to be a bride, maybe she didn’t want to be a mother either, and she and Lan Zhan would have just been in perfect agreement about any child they would have created, and what had to be done about it.

I’m sorry.

I never intended –

This is for the best.

He can complete the mission that Mo Xuanyu died to give him. He doesn’t have to try and stretch it out or leave Lan Zhan behind to raise a child alone. What a mess that would have been, for him to have the kid and leave it behind with a father that didn’t want him. He wouldn’t wish that on any child, especially his ow – especially any child he helped create. It would have just been another terrible, bitter legacy of his to leave behind, an unloved child and a disinterested father.

This is better. This is a good thing.

“Oh, Meimei.”

Wei Wuxian blinks and sees Jiang Yanli kneeling in front of him, rubbing her sleeve over his cheeks for some reason. They come away damp and it takes him raising a hand to his own face to realize he’s crying.

Stupid. There’s nothing to cry over. This is the best thing that could have happened. A baby makes things complicated. Now they can be simple.

“We’ll take care of you,” Jiang Yanli says, pulling him into her arms, and he lets her, because he’s weak and she’s his sister and he feels that familiar roll of nausea even though there’s nothing in his stomach to upset it. “Don’t worry. We’ll take care of everything. You won’t have to – you know, you barely got a chance to see Jin Tower the first time, you should stay past the cultivation conference. Or, hm, I know there’s, well there’s also Lotus Pier. You’ve never been have you? A-Cheng could escort you there and you could see the ponds. We can think of a reason. A-Yao will help.”

Most of what she’s saying doesn’t make any sense, but it’s so comforting to be held by her that he just goes with it. He looks over her shoulder, expecting to see Jiang Cheng awkwardly hovering in the doorway, but it’s empty.

It’s. Empty.

“Where’s Jiang Cheng?” he rasps, even though he thinks he already knows.

She stiffens, her voice taking on a tone that reminds him of Madame Yu. “He went to talk to Lan Wangji. He’ll be back.”

He remembers Jiang Cheng’s reaction when he thought that Lan Zhan had hurt him, and now here he is, crying, and even though it’s stupid, he’s, well, it’s easy to see how Jiang Cheng could look at him and think him hurt, even though it’s not his baby and it’s for the best. But he doesn’t know that.

“Shit,” he curses, pushing himself away and stumbling to his feet. “Oh, no, he’ll kill him.”

He’s spared against Lan Zhan and Jiang Cheng has his core in his chest. Maybe he can’t actually kill him, but blood will be spilled, and both of them are stubborn enough to keep at it until someone does die. Fuck.

Jiang Yanli shrugs, then winces, like she knows that wasn’t the appropriate response. In other circumstances, that would be enough to goad him to laughter, but now he just rushes for the door.

“Meimei!” she calls out, but Wei Wuxian ignores her.

He doesn’t get far, running into Jin Guangyao almost as soon as he steps into the hallway. His eyes flicker to Jiang Yanli behind him, his frown deepens, and then he looks Wei Wuxian up and down once, then does it again, except this time he stops at his stomach. “Ah.”

How does he do that? He’s so lucky they didn’t know each other during the war and that he didn’t know his sister at all, otherwise he would have been made the first time the two of them had a conversation. “Where’d they go?”

“Perhaps it’s best if we leave them to it,” he suggests.

Wei Wuxian stares. “Have you lost it? Jiang Cheng is pissed and he’s going to take that anger out on Wangji. How many more whip scars do you want him to have?”

Jin Guangyao presses his lips together. “He is A-Huan’s brother. In different circumstances, that would entitle him to my protection. But you’re my sister.”

The warmth rushes through him and causes his eyes to sting. It’s all borrowed, all a lie, because he’s not Mo Xuanyu, but his stupid heart is really doing a terrible job of remember that right now. “A-Yao, please.”

He sighs. “All right. Follow me.”

[emilybahu]

My Thoughts While Watching 8x01 of 9-1-1:

(Literally no one asked for this and it’s so late, but whatever… I had fun spending an hour and a half watching a 43 minute tv show episode to share my thoughts 🤷‍♀️)

1. Oh this poor man just bought his new plane then he gets caught in a beenado… what did he do to deserve that?

2. Oh crap oh crap! He about to crash!!

3. God damn Gerrard… I hate him with every fiber of my being😠

4. EDDIE I love you, I love you, I love you! But now that Gerrard said he likes the mustache it’s gotta go…

5. BUCK’S CRULS ARE FREE!!! Omg I just love him so much he’s so pretty!

6. Also, Gerrard 🙄🙄🙄

7. 3 MONTHS AGO! Not much of a time jump my ass! LIARS!

8. Who are you Gerrard? Donald Trump? Building a fence (wall)…

9. ATHENA! Hey queen! Oh wait, they making you transport the man who killed your fiancé… yikes 😬

10. He requested her!?

11. Buck… BUCK! What are you doing!? Get away from the ledge!

12. “Don’t jump!” “Why not?” 😀 Buck you know perfectly well why we don’t want you to jump, and it has nothing to do with the quote below.

13. “Gerrard would just make us clean you up off the sidewalk.” This line is hilarious and so not hilarious at the same time!

14. My poor baby boy! Buck come here let me give you a hug!

15. Chimney making fun of Eddie’s mustache 😂

16. Bobby the technical advisor 🤭

17. It’s so funny that there’s a show within the show!

18. Poor Bobby, like it is partially his fault that he’s not at the 118 right now, but you can tell he misses his team 🥺

19. Oh this kid, I love her already! And fair question Mom, what exactly does she mean by “hooking up”?

20. OH NO THE BEEEESSSS!!!

21. Yesss Buck and his fun facts! I love it!

22. Ugh 😑 Gerrard, that’s rude, our favs at the 118 are beautiful! You’re just salty because you’re old and ugly and no one likes you.

23. I’m sorry like half of this is gonna be me complaining about Gerrard… he’s so rude though! How dare he yell at Josh like that, for something he can’t control.

24. No, no, no! The bees got in!

25. No, no, nope! ABSOLUTELY NOT! The bees fucking went down the second driver’s throat!? I’d be outta there in a second!

26. Why did you smack the bee!? Aahhhhhh no!

27. Thank god the girl is okay! Oh damn, of course the mom gets stung too!

28. “Why do I taste honey?” SIR?!

29. Oh god no!

30. This poor kid, this has got to be so incredibly traumatic, she had to give her own mother an EpiPen.

31. God I’m sorry, I just love Buck so much! That little smile when the bee landed on his finger! ☺️

32. Good lord here I go again… what the hell Gerrard! Buck saved the patients and you’re reprimanding him!

33. “It’s a beenado” 🐝🌪️

34. Bobby and Athena house hunting! I love them!

35. Here goes Athena breaking my heart…💔

36. Eeeeeee! Family dinner! I love this so much!

37. Mara calls them Mom and Momma! It’s too cute! And Jee omg I can’t even with her! She’s precious!

38. Awwww Chimney bonding with Mara over Harry Potter! I love that for them!

39. Yes Denny, their boss is a jerk, you are very correct!

40. Eeeeeeee! Tommy! I didn’t think we’d see you in episode one!! Yay!!!

41. Literally I got so excited when I saw the cupcakes and the sign, I thought Chris might be coming back… oh how I was wrong.

42. Oh my boys! I love them so much! I NEED to see more of Buck, Eddie, and Tommy together!

43. I may or may not have actually screamed… Buck and Tommy flirting! They are so adorable together I can’t handle this!

44. Oh Eddie, bless his heart! So excited to talk to Chris and wish him a happy birthday. Meanwhile his son still can’t look at him, even though a computer screen. 😢

45. He made such an effort, just for the screen to freeze and for Chris to leave him hanging. You can see the man’s heart breaking behind his eyes. My heart broke too, but I understand the kid needing time.

46. But seriously seeing Eddie’s lip quiver like that when his mom mentions putting in a pool… PLEASE CHRIS COME BACK TO US! We can’t handle seeing your dad this heartbroken! 💔

47. This woman be here having a midlife crisis, making her own fragrance, only for the bees to crash her party.

48. “Tomorrow is going to be flawless” cue the giant swarm of killer bees just hanging out on top of the tent.

49. Oop her party is ruined…

50. Oh not Buck volunteering Eddie ass the bee bait! 😂

51. “But why me?” “Because you’re the fastest runner!” Stop it now I’m cackling! 🤣

52. The close up of Eddie’s face has me wheezing! 🤣🤣 Oooo he runnin’!!

53. Oh that close up bee cgi is sooo bad it’s hilarious! 🤣

54. Yeah sure, duct tape fixes everything, but why is it in the medical bag!?

55. “I’ve been shot before, I’m pretty sure I can handle this.” It’s funny because the beekeeper was talking to the bees not Eddie! 🤣 (sorry for the excessive use of the laughing emojis I can’t help it)

56. Come on man, Buck is like a little puppy, you gotta give him some praise!

57. And we have Buck with the episode title drop!

58. Noooo Athena! 😢 Come on let me give you a hug! 🫂 So much ✨Trauma✨

59. Ooo this is a fishy situation…but Athena knows what’s up.

60. NO ONE and I mean no one messes with Athena Grant! She knows her shit!

61. She straight up locked this man in a trunk of a car in the middle of the desert! My dude, what!?

62. “Get yourself back to LA in one piece.” Little did she know what was going to happen next…

63. Not the actor being star struck by Bobby, I love that!

64. “I’m gonna study you tip to tail” 🤣

65. Good god Gerrard you got everyone watching Buck like a hawk to make sure he doesn’t deck you.

66. Eddie walking behind Gerrard signing to Buck to cut it out… he tried to help

67. “Broody little pout” 🤣✨

68. Do WE need to remind YOU Gerrard who’s the TRUE captain of this firehouse… news flash it’s NOT YOU!

69. Eddie in the background, we all know he’s got Buck’s back

70. Eeww I just paused on the close up of Gerrard’s mouth… gross. Also, have I mentioned that I HATE this man.

71. Oh my good god! Buck’s eyes are fucking beautiful!

72. Woah, oh wow, that was crazy dude! I seriously can’t tell if Buck snapped and tackled him to the ground, or if he did it to save him.

73. OH CRAP! OF FUCKING COURSE ATHENA WAS ON THE PLANE FROM THE BEGINNING OF THE EPISODE!

[bratshaws]

through the hourglass 63. brb x oc

a/n: oh my god we reached 63 chapters holy sHIT i swear i am just.........speechless...wow thank you guys so much for the constant support! Mean so much to me!!!

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: none, Rooster being in love with Bea and missing being a dad uwu

goodness gracious (pls read this one to know more what this fic is about!!)

chapter

1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/11/12/13/14/15/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23/24/

25/26/27/28/29/30/31/32/33/34/35/36/37/38/39/40/41/42/43/44

45/46/47/48/49/50/51/52/53/54/55/56/57/58/59/60/61/62

(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!! )

taglist: @mirandastuckinthe80s @roosterschanelslut @wiipes @lcahwriter @shrimping-for-all @gretagerwigsmuse @frenchtoastix

@lizzie-rdj @fanboyluvr @atarmychick007 @comebacktoearthpls

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-

Bradley missed them so much already. It was almost painful how much he missed Beatrice’s smile and Nicole’s little squealed laughs, and the dogs. God he missed the dogs too. He couldn’t say how long he stayed looking at his phone where several pictures of Bea and Nicole were, pictures he took without her knowing.

Like the one where she was sitting on the floor with her hair up in a bun, Nicole sleeping on her chest and the dogs lying around them, Beatrice’s eyes on the tv as she watched a documentary he couldn’t remember what it was about now.

Or the one where she’s outside with Nicole, sitting on one of the lounge chairs they bought looking at a few birds that made  their nest in Beatrice’s birdhouse, the one she made months ago. And he lied on his bunk looking at the pictures for God knows how long, smiling at every single one he saw and hoping his girls were okay.

Which they were,if that wasn’t the case surely he’d know about it already.

But he couldn’t help but remember Cyclone’s words, how he said Nicole was going to question his absence,question why he had to leave,question why he was gone for so long…he hated how that made him feel. Of course his daughter was too young to actually know what was happening but she was also very smart for an infant considering how she was already vocalizing and giving people the stinky eye.

Bradley sighs heavily, dropping his head on the pillow,reaching down in his bag to grab the scent pouch Beatrice made him. It was still fragrant albeit the fabric of the pouch itself was a bit frail in the middle because of his constant touching and rubbing, just like he was doing now. He didn’t want it to rip open so he had to be extra careful with it right now. He looked at the dry flowers inside, moving them about for a few seconds and then groaning with his hands coming up to his eyes.

“Fuck,I miss her so bad.” he mumbled, damn him for having such a soft heart when it came to Beatrice. He knew this wouldn’t change anything in his job besides the constant earning of having Beatrice back considering that the second he stepped out of his bunk and into the jet his focus was on getting the job done so he could go back to Bea and Nikki.

He didn’t want to do it, but he was looking it up online to see how big a four months old baby would be. Nicole was already a big infant so he assumed she’d spurt up quite quickly by the time he returned. When he saw the pictures his heart clenched because it was like he was missing so much already.

“I can’t be thinking like this.” And yet he was “Bea is going to update me with pictures of Nikki, it’s going to be fine. I don’t have to worry so much about it after all, it wasn’t like it’s the end of the world.”

And yet.

Bradley huffed out a sigh, dropping his phone on his chest as he looked at the top bunk above him. This time there was no snoring Fanboy like usual, it was Payback who was there instead and he slept like a rock. Like a big,silent rock, he was the one person no one minded sharing a bunk with since he was so quiet all the time. 

And while Rooster appreciated it, he kind of missed the noise from Fanboy because his thoughts were getting too loud. He knew it was late here but he couldn’t sleep, so he grabbed his phone and quickly typed a message to Bea

Rooster (23:33)

Hey gorgeous, I know it’s only been a week since I was gone but…I really miss you. And I miss Nikki and the dogs. how have you been? I know it’s probably late there so you don’t have to reply yet,I just wanted to hear from you <3

Amazingly, the chat bubble popped up seconds after he sent it.

Bea (23:35)

Roos! It’s okay :) me and Nikki are watching the Golden Girls. We are fine, she’s been fine too, the dogs as well. We are managing everything! We miss you too so much but we both know you’ll come back soon :3 oh let me show you something.

He waits by rereading her words again and his stomach is warm with butterflies, no matter how long their relationship was he still had the same feelings from the first time they got together. That’s the power of being with someone who is your soulmate. He blinks when he sees it’s a video, so he hurries to grab his air pods to not wake Payback up, peeking at the other pilot only to see that he was facing the wall.

He gets comfortable, with the air pods on and press play on the video.

The first thing he sees it’s Nicole’s big green eyes staring back at him, she’s lying on top of Beatrice’s thighs and her hands are trying to take hold of the phone “Nikki,no,hold on!” her laughter sounds magical to his ears and he sees she’s holding the phone a bit higher to show Nicole’s outfit “So,this is one of Marcus’ gifts for Nikki,” the shirt was white with tiny birds drawn on the fabric, all of them in different shades of orange and red “And I thought it’d be nice to- Nikki, no,mommy needs the phone.”

Cue to Nicole reaching for the phone one more time and eventually taking hold of it “Oh,okay, okay,I was just showing daddy your outfit!” Nicole’s eye was huge as she pushed it up against the lens, moving around curiously with the vocalization of ‘ah,ah,ah’, holding it back to then press her mouth against it, “No!Nikki, don’t bite it,” cue to their daughter continuous gummy chewing, “No,no, honey you can’t chew it,Okay, give it to me. Thank you.”

“Anyway,” she lifts the phone again “It’s something I wanted to show you because I thought you’d like it. Because Nicole looks so cute,” she tickles Nicole’s tummy making the little girl gurgle out a laugh “Oh!Another thing,Jake and Bob showed up and Jake said he is the best uncle. I know you’ll probably have something to say about that, but you know, it’s something to think about..oh! And he gave Nikki, uh…” there’s the sound of ruffling in the background while he still has Nicole looking up at him “Found it! Look.”

It’s a chick hair clip. It’s an actual chick hair clip.

“He said he saw it and thought of her. I’ve tried on her head and she didn’t hate it so,” cue to Nicole’s eyes moving to the hair clip, trying to grab the largest part - the chick - of it only for Beatrice to move it away, turning the camera to her face this time, “So,yeah! That’s what’s been happening and- the dogs are fine too by the way! They are fine! We all are.” she smiles down at the phone, “Anyway,I think I recorded too much so I’m going to end this here! Say bye to daddy,Nikki!”

Nicole just ‘ah’s’ trying to grab the phone again, so Beatrice grabs the arm reaching up to give the camera a little wave “Bye,daddy! I love you so much!” and the recording is done.

When the video is over he’s immediately reminded of the time he lurked in Beatrice’s Instagram and saw her video with Bianca - who was probably two or three by that time - and how that just latched into his brain for so long. Maybe it was the one thing that made him fall in love with her back then without him even knowing.

Because Beatrice was normally so guarded and shy while at the bar, seeing her having fun,smiling, holding her little niece like that just showed that under that shield protecting herself was someone who was fun and sweet and who he wanted to talk so badly. He was more than happy to have this update, it meant a lot to him considering his thoughts from earlier…Beatrice was right, there was nothing to worry about especially because she’d always message him about Nikki.

Roos (23:55)

Gorgeous, thanks for the video. I loved it and she looks adorable as always…and tell Jake to fuck off about being the best uncle, I’d never allow that.

Bea (23:55)

Roos.

Roos (23:56)

Okay,maybe I’ll allow a little bit just because the gift he got Nikki is super cute and it’ll only make our girl look even cuter than she already is…but you sound tired,gorgeous. have you been sleeping well?

Bea (23:59)

Ah, you noticed that. I’m fine,I’m sleeping normally it’s just that the bar is so packed that I’m…waking up more tired than normal lol. But I promise you I’m fine.

Roos (00:00)

Hm,if you say so,pretty girl.

Bea (00:00)

I promise…Oh! There’s um, there’s another video I’ll send you…later. Just,well,maybe I’ll send it to you via email. We’ll see.

Roos (00:01)

Oh? Gorgeous, what are you planning?

Bea (00:02)

Nothing! Just…something I can’t tell you much yet. :3 

His heart felt at peace just by this conversation, the blue light of his phone illuminated his face and the curve of his smile as he reread her texts over and over. The pang in his heart was still present but much less, he knew he’d go home soon and safe, he knew that his girls would be okay and he knew they wouldn’t be alone.

Neither Jake nor Bob messaged him these past weeks, the group chat barely active since they were out of the country right now so he just accepted the obvious: they’d be fine. 

He’d be up for more time but his eyes started to droop, the tension from moments before dissipated into nothing as the words on the screen blurred together into unknown blobs of color.  He just woke up more when he felt it vibrate in his hand with another message from Beatrice.

Bea (00:10)

Roos? Are you asleep? If you are, ignore this!!

He chuckled quietly,”You are so cute.” he whispered, “Cutest thing in the whole fuckin’ world,I swear.”

Roos (00:10)

Blacked out for a second gorgeous, nothing more. But I should sleep right now.

Bea (00:11)

Oh no! Am I keeping you awake? :( I’m sorry!

Roos (00:11)

Baby, of course not, you aren’t doing anything wrong. I promise you.

Bea (00:12)

Well,if you are tired Roos, pls sleep. I want you to have a good night of sleep and be alert for whatever is thrown at you!

Roos (00:13)

Ugh, you are so cute.I love you so much…but you are right,I’m going to hit the hay now…talk to you soon okay? I love you, please kiss Nikki for me.

Bea (00:13)

<3 I love you too,Roos. Stay safe and I will!!

Rooster smiled at his phone for a few more seconds before he dropped it back inside his bag, turning it off to save battery for the next few days. Once he did that and the whole area was darkened and silent, he turned on his side to have his left hand close to his face. The lack of light only made it harder for him to see his wedding ring but he didn’t mind, he turned it around his finger with his thumb for a few seconds until his eyes fluttered closed and he finally fell asleep.

-

There was always the weird feeling of waking up and not seeing Rooster and panicking for a brief second only to remember he was deployed. Beatrice sighs while on the bed, dropping her palm over her eyes with a groan as she rubs her face. She keeps her hands on her cheeks after rubbing the sleep off her eyes, only to keep her vision on the ceiling because she’s still one thread away from dreamland.

She was so happy to hear from Rooster, she knew he was busy and never complained how long it took for him to reply to her messages as long as he did so. Beatrice sighs, one of her hands reaching over to her phone to check the time “Yep, still five in the morning,” she mutters, yawning quietly before pushing herself to a sitting position to check the baby monitor app in Nicole’s room.

Her daughter was asleep still, thankfully, with a perfect starfish pose inside her crib with Ellie and Jack keeping her company lying by her crib. Beatrice smiles, closing the app and then checking her phone since she’d be busy with Nikki in a few minutes. There were no messages from Rooster, but she had one from Marcus who asked her how she was and apologized about the time since he had just returned from Greece and was getting used to the California time zone again.

Beatrice just typed a message back to him saying that he shouldn’t worry. Her cousins also got quiet, they didn’t block her but they were eerily silent since her outburst in their mother’s house, “Good, let’s keep it that way.” 

She also checked the weather, thinking it’d be nice to take Nikki out that morning if the time was nice enough. From what she checked it wasn’t going to rain until late in the afternoon so she decided that after breakfast they could go out with the dogs to a park and enjoy themselves.

Beatrice furrows her brows however when she sees a message from Hannah. While the two weren’t on bad terms anymore it was strange to have her messaging suddenly, they weren’t that close after all.

Hey, can we meet up today? To talk?

Weird.

But Beatrice replied with “What time? I have to take care of my daughter so my time is limited.” she added an emoji at the end…then noticed that the message was sent seven hours ago and it was obvious that Hannah was asleep, “Sorry! I just saw the time you sent it! Ooops!” she hoped it wouldn’t bring anything bad out of her because of that mistake.

While on Instagram she saw that there were, again, more anon accounts and she couldn’t really bother trying to block them anymore since they always showed up no matter what.

While looking down at the gray icon she just…felt this anger. Why is this still happening and there was no resolution? No matter what they always come back, it’s been…about three years now? Almost four years since this has been happening, ever since she and Rooster got together.

Beatrice narrowed her eyes at the account, opening the dms to send them a message until the baby monitor app popped up on the screen to let her know that ‘NICOLE is awake!’ with a small video of Nikki wriggling her little arms as she breaks out of her slumber. Beatrice pauses, looking from the video to the account and sighs, “There are better things in my mind.” she says before blocking this account as well.

She just kicks the covers off, deciding to make them after breakfast, and marches to Nicole’s room. Eleanor and Jack are already up and about, with the youngest of the twins marching out of the room so his sister is the one in there with Beatrice until Jolene joins them as well, “Hi,Nikki,” she coos, seeing her daughter’s scrunched up face. She gasps softly seeing that the expression is identical to Rooster when he wakes up: squinty eyes, pursed lips and hair a mess. “Hi,sweetie, good morning.”

Nicole rubs her fists against her face in a feeble attempt to clean her eyes, “Okay,come on, up you go, let’s check you out and then give you breakfast yeah?” Nicole hums, much like Rooster did while waking up too, “God, you are so much like him already.”

After changing and cleaning Nicole and giving her the breakfast - which she was very eager to have - they walked downstairs to where the dogs were,lying next to the bouncer as usual. She greeted them after putting Nicole down and getting ready to prepare her own breakfast which she had no idea what it’d be.

Pancakes wouldn’t hurt but she feared it’d only make her miss Rooster way too much.

Thinking about him made a smile appear on her face though, because their conversation from yesterday was so fun and helped her own fears disappear. She felt a bit bad about lying to him that Nicole was okay with his absence, she wasn’t, not really but it has gotten better these past days and she’s not crying that much.

Staying with her nonni helped a lot too, her parents always made sure to give Nicole enough attention so she wouldn’t be so upset.

That and Rooster’s shirt that she left by the crib, that’s been helping Nikki too. 

“Ah,Nikki,” she begins as she cracks two eggs in a bowl, “You have no idea how much you and your dad are similar, expression like, you know? I mean it’s like looking at a mirror when I look at you.”

And the fact that she had seen Bradley’s baby pictures and the similarity was on the nose.

Nicole babbled a bit, kicking her little legs as she tried to reach the mobile yet again but instead touched Eleanor’s pink snout when she sniffed her hand. Her daughter’s eyes were locked on Eleanor and she gurgled a giggle, this time gently touching the dog’s face, “And you love dogs too, just like him….and well, me too.” Beatrice grins, pouring some milk in her omelet before mixing a bit more, “...I just hope he gets home soon…and safe…he worries so much in his job. And it’s a dangerous one too.”

More babbling from Nicole.

“I mean, he’s also so good at what he does.” Beatrice smiles as the pan sizzles, “And he’s so smart and funny and sweet and–” and the dreamy sigh that escapes her mouth was enough to make her cheeks turn red, “And he still makes me feel like I’m floating everytime we talk.” she bites her lower lip, “It’s a shame we won’t be able to celebrate our anniversary though,I know he was so excited for it.” but she had something planned for the time their anniversary came up at least, so she could be excited for that.

Nicole babbles again, ‘ah’s’ and ‘oh’s’ followed by the constant gurgling only made Beatrice smile, “I agree,Nikki, your daddy needs to have something fun to come back to…and you’ll be a pretty big baby-well more than you already are- when he comes back.” she says, looking back at Nicole only to see her legs kicking and moving more, “Oh, before I forget we need to get you to your check up, we can take uncle Mikey with us! I just need to check with the clinic and make sure it’s scheduled.”

As she said that she heard her phone ping from upstairs and she couldn’t really leave the kitchen to get it - and for someone to send a message so early in the morning? Must’ve been important.- “Ellie, can you get my phone for me?” the white dog tilts her head at Beatrice, “The phone, you know?” she holds out her pinky and thumb to her ear, “This thing? You got my bag before but I need my phone now.”

Eleanor stares at her for a few more seconds before sprinting up the stairs to retrieve the phone. And she does retrieve the phone much to Beatrice’s surprise! It’s slobbery all over and the phone case has some dents because of Eleanor’s teeth but it’s working. “Thank you,Ellie!”

She wipes her phone the best she could and furrows her brows when sees that Marcus was the one who messaged her.

Marcus (06:15)

Darling! Can you come over by the studio today? I’d love to see you so we can discuss the new collection!

Bea (06:15)

Marcus, oh my god did you even sleep? 

Marcus (06:16)

Of course! I am fine, my darling! But can you come over? Around morning?

Bea (06:16)

Well…I don’t know I…I have my baby with me and Rooster is deployed so I don’t know if that would be possible?

Marcus (06:17)

Darling! Bring the little one over!I want to meet her! :) plus she’ll have a little spot prepared just for her in any case. It’s just to sit down with you a bit.

Bea (06:18)

Sit down with me? But the last time we did this you didn’t have to sit me down?

Marcus (06:18)

Exactly,darling! :) can you come?

Bea (06:19)

Hmmm…okay, I think I can show up quickly. I can’t stay too long though.”

But Marcus was just glad to hear a ‘yes’ from Beatrice…even if the brunette was confused as to why he needed to see her so soon. “Well,” she says out loud, “Looks like you are meeting Marcus today,Nikki.”

[daz4i]

wait okay. instead of going to sleep like a normal person. here's how I'd change the ages in bsd (for those that have a canon age), bc no one looks their age/it makes the timeline feel weird, i wanna let at least some major past events breathe a little between one another. possibly controversial takes ahead:

atsushi: i like that he's 18 actually. he looks and feels 16 but no yeah 18 works better. I'd say 20-21 would be nice but that'd reallyyyy throw his backstory's timing off unfortunately

dazai: 25

kunikida: around 27-28

ranpo: 28 also, maybe even 29 (his whole thing is that he looks young for his age anyway)

yosano: 28 as well

tanizaki: like. he does look 18. but also 16 and 21 at the same time. i like him as a bit older than atsushi so let's say 19-20, and naomi as well while we're at it

kenji: why is he 14. it's not that he doesn't look 14 it's that i simply did not expect a child to be the muscle in a detective agency. so please make him like at least 16 which is only just slightly better tbh

kyouka: yeah 14 is chill in her case imo. makes her more tragic 👍

katai: 27-29ish as well

fukuzawa: at least in his 50s. maybe 55ish, or even more. he def looks like it and it fits more with having a son in his 20s

akutagawa: i do want him to be older. but making his age gap with atsushi bigger is weird. so keeping him as a 20 y/o it is, maybe 21 at most

chuuya: 25

kouyou: 30s. early 40s even. she is already so milf coded. finding out she's 26 in canon was straight up offensive i swear. come on.

higuchi: 21

tachihara: 22 or 23 maybe? (the hunting dogs don't have canon ages but i like jouno and tecchou as 26ish so that way he's still like the baby of the group)

hirotsu: how is that man 50. make him 65 at least. jfc. the whole point is he's been with the mafia a long time. ik they keep recruiting teenagers for some reason but give me a break. my dad is pushing 70 and looks younger than him

q: actually my issue with them isn't that they don't look their age (tho they do look a bit younger ig) but that timeline wise?? they're so weird?? why did the mafia have a 6 y/o on deck that's just inconvenient for all parties involved. like i can excuse kyouka at 11ish but come ON. at least make them 10 in fifteen. or just bring them in later bc i just realized the timeline doesn't line up with the dazai and chuuya changes otherwise. man idk

odasaku: girl that man was NOT 23 when he died he should've been like at least 27 then

mori: late 40s or early 50s. keep the few years gap from fukuzawa maybe but he should still be older

ango: 29ish in the current timeline. or even 32. idk why but that number feels right.

francis: 45 at least. how is a 32 y/o man supposed to have a daughter old enough to study abroad...

poe: 29

melville: actually he is the only one aged correctly in this entire manga. bestie 🔥🔥🔥🔥

steinbeck: 24. maybe even older

lucy: 20-21ish. same issue as akutagawa really

louisa: 25 at least please 🙏

nathaniel: 34 maybe.

margaret: also early 30s. how the fuck is she 20. like kouyou this is straight up insulting 😭

mark: ageless for he is the spirit of youth and joy (yeah 22 is chill for him actually. he's like the taylor swift song. he'd love that)

mushitaro: tbh I'd make him more around 29 or even older than 30. like he would be a believable 35 y/o to me if needed.

nikolai: actually him being 26 is chill too. tho i wouldn't mind making him around 28-29ish too since i already aged up most 26 y/os so may as well go all the way.

shibusawa: yeah he can stay 29 too idm. i actually didn't know he had a canon age until now. cool!

i think that's everyone who has a canon age (excluding lns bc i haven't gotten to them yet)? aside from sigma maybe but his age is more of a plot device than a fun fact. and fukuchi is implied to be the same age as fukuzawa so, yeah just make them the same in this case too.

i did mess up the timeline myself with this. so lemme clear it up:

The War and the whole thing with mori and yosano still happened when she was 11, so 17 years before canon. that means mori was still in his 20s back then, no big change

untold origins still happened when ranpo was in his teens, honestly we can keep it 14, so 14 years ago, meaning fukuzawa was in his late 30 or early 40s. again not too big of a change I'd say

fifteen happens when. well. dazai and chuuya are 15. ten years ago. i don't want q there get them out of my sight (for now) let them be a kid for a bit!!!!! but yeah like in canon that means the previous boss's murder was a year before, 11 years ago. also while we're at it, stormbringer is also the same aka a year after 15

now this is where we shake things up just a bit. rather than occuring when dazai is 18, i think we can push the dark era to when he's 20 and still maintain the whole childlike thing he has going on there, it's not that big of a difference imo.

that means, 5 years before canon instead of 4, making akutagawa 15 back then, and ango 27 like odasaku.

also yeah q comes in at some point in the middle between those^ I'd say close to dark era than fifteen.

originally i wanted to make skk 26 but this started stretching things even more. bc now we gotta figure out how long dazai spent in hiding. and ig we can keep it 2 years and just make it so his entrance exam was 3 years before canon. again imo not that big of a stretch 🤔

idk why i said this changes the timeline a lot i think this is p simple. also lets ppl stew in their situation for just a bit longer which i like more.

thank you for reading. you are very brave and strong for pulling through. feel free to disagree with my takes but just be nice about it please. I'm also open to hearing other takes if you have any that i didn't consider 🫡 but again just be nice okay?? 🥹

[wonderlandleighleigh]

123 Thoughts while watching The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Season 1, episode 3: Because You Left

I l1. God I forgot we start on this flashback.

2. Fuck Joel Maisel, being shitty about Midge’s drink choice. “Yikes. We’ll work on that.” WHAT A HORRIBLE THING TO SAY TO ANOTHER PERSON!

3. I have so many thoughts on that one line. That maybe Midge WAS, at one point in her life, just maybe a little sweet, if a little rebellious, and Joel decided he was going to turn her into what he wanted out of a woman.

4. What he thought he wanted out of a woman.

5. And it.

6. Fucking.

7. Backfired.

8. Shoulda married Palmer.

9. He’s so fucking pushy and I hate it.

10. “You belong to Me” is their song. HEY LOOK MORE TERRIBLE CONTROLLING THINGS. Not only is it a little creepy to be like “I don’t know you that well but this is our song now.” But the title alone “You belong To Me” is fucked up.

11. I swear, if they get back together in season 5, I will rip my television off the wall and eat it.

12. “You’re destined for better things than this.” JOEL YOU ARE NOT BETTER THINGS. BETTER THINGS IS NOT YOU.

13. (Better things is Lenny’s dick.)

14. (Sorry, children)

15. I love that Midge helps the other jailbirds with the stains on their shirt. It’s such an unsettling conversation but Midge still wants to help.

16 She’s a naturally helpful person, turns out.

17. LOL Susie talking to Rose and being totally freaked out, and I love it.  Truly. Barely anything scares Susie. But Rose. Rose flips her out. Love it.

18. Rose is a badass and I love it.

19. LENNY BAILED HER OUT LENNY BAILED HER OUT LENNY BAILED HER OUT!

20. “You’re not Susie.”

21. “Nope.”

22. These two idiots. I love them so much I’m gonna cry god dammit.

23. Wearing his jacket. He rushes to open the door for her.

24. Just fucking get married.

25. Susie is having a NIGHT. Between Rose and Lenny. She just. Can’t catch a break tonight.

26. They really did fail at making Lenny look...not hot. Luke Kirby is too handsome.

27. AND THEN HE INVITES HER TO HIS GIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGGG.

28. Rose and her grapefruit. Gilmore Girls Richard vibes.

29. “When did Zelda get married?” lol foreshadowing maybe?

30. Oh Rose. Poor Rose. She’s being severe here, but she’s really worried about Midge. As much as she’s failed Midge in other ways (teaching her all of the toxic bod image bullshit forever), she really does try her best to be a good mother. And I think a lot of the time, she does succeed. 

31. TMMM Rose and Lenny scene challenge I WANT IT.

32. I’m not going to get anything on my season 5 bucket list, I’m gonna have to write an entirely alternate season 5.

33. Again.

34. Abe is so clueless in season one. And he cares but he’s so absent. And he pays for it in season 2.

35. Ethan and the staring.

36. Poor Ethan. His dad up and fucks off, his mother is acting like a fucking fruitcake and he’s like four. He has no idea what’s happening. Of course he’s being a weirdo, WE ALL WOULD BE.

37. I do love Imogene, but she is so normcore in season 1.

38. Midge is so short. Imogene is SO SHORT.

39. “I brought it along on our second date. He was surprised.” LOL WE HAVIN BABIES ARCHIE GET USED TO IT.

40. Abe for fuck’s sake.

41. I know Rose and Abe want Midge to be settled and secure. I know. But Joel is not it. He is not it, and at this point even Midge knows that. She loses sight of that a few times, but like. JOEL IS NOT IT.

42. Oh Midge. That is. Too fancy for Kessler’s office.

43. We need more Kessler. GIVE US MORE KESLLER. GIVE US KESSLER DEFENDING LENNY.

44. LOL Susie on Midge’s tits. Just. The best.

45. “If you had just dressed for the meeting.” I love him.

46. Zelda’s notes. “You to be quiet.” I love it. I should start doing that lol.

47. Seconal is a hell of a drug man.

48. And also Rose is so weak-willed in this first season. Like maybe she’s being manipulative here with Abe but. It’s not a good look.

49. Midge is so proper in these early episodes.

50. HORSE FUCKER. lol

51. Midge just. She cannot keep her mouth shut. She cannot do it. And you know what? I wouldn’t be able to either. “Little lady.” Fuck that shit.

52. Thank you?

53. This judge is fucking awful.

54. Here we go.

55. Midge. Midge.

56. Aaand arrested again. Girl. Oh girl.

57. Ugh having to go to Joel. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it.

58. You fucked someone else and left, Dude. She doesn’t fucking trust you enough to tell you. Get used to it.

59. Abe looks...unhappy. To be at Maisel and Roth.

60. The music in this show makes me so happy.

61. Eater Island face lol.

62. One criticism of Moishe I totally agree with is how horrible it was for him to take back the apartment. His grandchildren were growing up in that apartment. Their safety and security should have come first. Not that Midge didn’t have anywhere to take them, Abe and Rose’s place is perfectly fine, and they spend plenty of time in Queens, once the Maisels move, but still. Those kids didn’t desserve to be jerked around that way, no matter how Midge and Joel (mostly Joel) were acting.

63. I never realized even back in the 50′s/60′s you had to pay for temple seats on high holy days. Fuck I’m so glad I never bothered with synagogue as an adult. As if life isn’t expensive enough.

64. Abe’s “My suits are good” shrug makes me happy. I know Tony Shalhoub isn’t Jewish, and as much as I wish they would have found someone who was...he does a good job of playing Abe as a Jewish man.

65. Kevin Pollack is a treasure.

66. THE 13 JEWS.

67. I also love Abe’s tie. It’s nice.

68. “Follow-through has never been in strong suit.” For. Fucking. Real.

69. I mean he came through with the money. That’s. Something.

70. God fuck. Poor Midge eating so much crow. I hate that for her. “After all. I am a woman.” Giiiiirl.

71. Fuck this Judge I hope he steps in dog shit every day forever.

72. UUGUGHGHEUOIERJLEJRLKEJ FUCK

73. Blind leading the blind. “It’s gonna work.”

74. Aw hugs. Gals bein’ pals (or girlfriends.)

75. Look, I can multiship with the best of them.

76. Mrs. Mouskowitz. Love her so much.

77. His plan is moving in with the dumb asshole girl he’s dating.

78. YES THE VANGUARD.

79. Lindsay and the threeeew!

80. AND LENNY! The Jewish and Goyish bit is so good. Listen to the original it’s so good.

81. Instant potatoes: SCARY GOYISH.

82. BOB BYHRE!

83. I love Lenny so much and we didn’t get enough of him in this show. We deserved more Lenny. I deserved more Lenny.

84. The bro vibes between them here are so good. They were always friends first and I just love that.

85. LOL Midge can hang. I love it so much.

86. Lenny is so tickled to be with Midge when she gets high for the first time. It’s adorable.

87. DO WE DO AN ACTIVITY?!

88. I think @theycallme-thejackal once wrote a fic where that activiy was a blowjob.

89. @theycallme-thejackal is the best.

90. Midge doesn’t carry pictures of her kids. I don’t know that my mom ever did either. My dad did I think, in his wallet.

91. AN ACTIVITY.

92. These stoned idiots trying to keep up with Midge good luck.

93. Whoseit’s got a head...the other’s got a...head.

94. Lenny’s genuine laugh there is so good. And he’s laughing at a parenting joke, because he’s probably thinking about Kitty and feeling the EXACT same way. “Are you fucking kidding? I don’t know what I’m doing holy shit!” I love that so much.

95. They’re not gonna get married. But they fucking should. Their connection is so good.

96. And maybe that’s delusional. I just love them.

97. Dear Midge: Some of us are just not moms. Trust me.

98. I want her to find out that Lenny is so boring at home.

99. Are those pretzels??

100. I tried to find the gif of Lenny’s face when she comes over to nom those pretzels and failed. It’s so good though.

101. also the face Lenny gives her when she walks over to sit down? I have been on the receiving end of that face from other people. I know it well. It’s happened.

102.We’re supposed to see the Friar’s Club in season 5. I dunno how that’s gonna go, but. I guess we’ll see.

103. I love Harry Drake. I hope we get a little more of him in season 5.

104. “Just be gentle.” Oh Lenny.

105. INVITED TO THE AFTERHOURS. GO MIDGE.

106. “You need me to be understanding or something?”

107. He’s so nice to her. The real Kitty Bruce has talked about how incredibly sweet her father was, and I love that we see shades of that in the show. He’s got a ton of problems, but there is so much kindness there.

108. And it’s in complete contrast to what we see from Joel in just a minute.

109. He gives her a joint as a lil gift. For later. Shit isn’t cheap. Kindness.

110. “WAIT WAS I SUPPOSED TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU?!” Love it.

111. Good job, Midge. You did good.

112. This flashback was in such a strange place. It felt really disjointed the first time I saw it. But again, it’s an interesting contrast between Lenny doing some light emotional lifting for Midge (The cab, the sympathy over her busted marriage, the joint, the parting joke to make her laugh) and Joel (letting Midge take care of him as usual).

113. Midge rollin’ up in the middle of the night, still a little buzzed. To this asshole.

114. And she liiiieeeesssss yessssss. Lie to him. He doesn’t deserve to know you got high with Lenny Bruce.

115. I’ve said this before. His “I don’t care what you needed the money for” is such crap. You SHOULD care. If you care about her, WHY DON’T YOU CARE?! Is it because you trust her? Or because you only care about yourself? I can’t tell.

116. “I’m thinking of giving it another go.” No sorry. No nothing. Just expecting to be let back into her life. Fuck’s sake.

117. Oh Abe.

118. Good for Midge telling him no. Because he fucked up and he’s not even fucking sorry. HE IS NOT SORRY! And she knows it. And he left.

119. Look at this piece of shit run away. Just. Not even an argument. Not even trying to change her mind. Just shakes his head and walks off like that piece of garbage he truly is.

120. Maybe that’s harsh. But he didn’t even try. Because he’s not sorry. He just wants to live comfortably again. He doesn’t care that he hurt her.

121. HE DOES NOT CARE THAT HE HURT MIDGE. Anyone who actually cared would not act like this.

122. And Abe finally understands just how terribly hurt Midge is. Though I’m not sure if that look on his face is because he’s hurting for her, or because his ploy to get them back together failed. Maybe both.

123. I love this episode. It is an al-time favorite. It establishes Midge and Lenny as friends with a new, but solid bond. It has some great Susie moments, and a great Midge set. Great stuff with Abe and Rose and Abe and Moishe. It’s so solid. I think it might be my favorite season 1 episode. <3

[candiedapplez]

I ask you all of the questions from that one reblog. Good luck/nf/j

Omg ok this will be a while then tehehehehehehhe im not complaining though!!!! Heres the questions so u can look at the questions and the answers!

1.this one is OBVIOUS!!! A-90 and Opheebop!!! DUUUUUUUH!

2.lighter. Ive never used a match before

3.ew no!!! I don't want buggies crawling in my room while im sleeping!!!! However i have before!

4. Aaaaaa ive never really gotten into that stuff so i cant really give an answer-

5. A really dark brown!!

6. Oops i did that again???

7. Well idk ive used both and they are both work really well! however i do think scrunchies are safer for your hair, i use normal hair ties more often because scrunchies are more bulky and yeah i dont prefer that, but both are great!

8. Six. I have six.

9.NONE! COFFE IS GROSS BLEEEEEEGH!!

10. Ofc!!

11. Does drawing count?

12. Good day!!!!! I havent cried yet so-

13. Not too long ago, like an hour ago actually. I had pizza! (Incase u were wondering)

14. HELL YEAH!!!

15. Nope and i never want to be 😗

16. NoooooOoOoO-

17. Nope i have perfect vision muah

18. I DONT WANNA SAY TEHE! (Sry)

19. Yea ofc!!! But they probably wont turn out good…

20. Soda…. Ive never seen or heard anyone say pop before….

21. Plushies!!!! I have a unicorn plush my old friend (we dont talk anymore since she moved) gave me for my 7th bday!!!! Yes i remember when, yes i still have it! And its in perferct condition!!! Also there was this one kid who ig had a crush on my and he gave me a basket full of stuff for valentines day and i still have said basket-

22. I have no clue what this means? I guess sensitive?

23. Love it!!!!!

24. Eating :] (and joking abt pushing each other off probably/JOKE/JOKE/JOKE/JOKE)

25. Aaaa i use all of them but i use lotion most so ig lotion?

26. Idk what to say for this one aaaaaagh

27. Like 5 i think? Ive been getting better with my sleep time!!!!

28. Not anymore, our school last year said we could take them off, however i was SO insecure about my face (still am, but not as much as before) so i would wear it every single day. If i showed up to school without one people got surprised. I stopped wearing them this year, however.

29. Hot????

30. THE FUCKING WATER BOTTLES!!!!

31. Theres a lot, i dont wanna get into it 😵‍💫

32…… is that a thing? People have favorite towels??

33. Hm my school took us on a field trip to a high school so we can see animals if that counts… (i have pictures btw if u wanna see them! We saw pigs, sheep, cows and bunny! I didnt take pic of bunny tho 😢)

34. LITERALLY EVERY SIX THE MUSICAL SONG HOLY SHIT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS (the only ones i might mess up on are aywd and idnyl bc aywd is long and i dont listen to idnyl often)

35. Pst!!

36. Only once! My username used to have a 0 between the words (Candied0applez) but i changed it bc it made it sound like i candied no apples… but i was originally going to be called caramelapplez but i thought candied sounded better heheh)

37. The friend i mentioned earlier i met first day of kindergarden, her name is Alana, and this other girl Maya i met before kinder! We met eachother at a park and when we walked home we found out we were neighbors so we instantly became besties! (We still are to this day but she lives 30 mins away so i dont see her often-(

38. All…?

39. Sometimes!

40. Ice cream!!!

41. Empty. Coffee is gross

42. Hahahah yt, roblox and occasionally twitter!

43. HAND IT OVER BITCH!

44. Myself/j fucking donald trump 🤮👈🖕

45. NO ☺️

46. Oh god i dont watch any 🫢

47. | v

this actually was to the other girl i mentioned earlier! Maya! I found baby pictures of us when we were in 2nd-3rd grade and i showed her today!!!

48. Never and i dont plan on ever!

49. Never tried

50. GO AHEAD I GET SO EXCITED WHEN IM TAGGED IN SOMETHING AAAAA!

omg that took forever!!! Gosh i dont mind though!!! These were fun questions! Aaaaaaaa i enjoyed that tyty!

[trapper-faggot]

Thank god im getting hours again

long ass ramble under the cut

So I'm back at my old job.

I worked there August-early December as the head of an after school program, where I completely burnt out. I was working 45-50 hour weeks constantly, always on call, always stressed, so I hit my breaking point and quit. However I made a point to do so on good terms, and left the possibility of subbing open.

Well I lost 2 whole fucking months to depression, and job hunting is hell, and so I reached out to my buddy who is a site director at the site closest to my old one. She got me 3 shifts last week, and I could have picked up a 4th just I was busy when she messaged me. This week I have 3, potentially 4 once again.

And like... I LIKE the work, I love playing with kids, I love the routine, I love teaching. This job allows me to sit, hell sometimes large chunks of my shifts end up "racing a kid in long division cause he just learned and is super excited. this excitement is contagious and soon there are 5 children cramming around solving math problems" or "kindergartner spends recess showing me how good she is at hop scotch and karate and ballet and ballet karate"

Also?? I am DAMN good at my job. I am! I can admit that! My first ever job was teaching, I baby sat a lot, I genuinely really enjoy playing with kids and teaching. As a site director I was immensely overworked but it was universally agreed upon that I was thrown into a bad situation and did an amazing job all things considered! I held that place together until I couldnt anymore, and sounds like its still a mess over there, which tbh is validating. I am on top of things! I am a very good employee and teacher! As a former site director, I understand the back workings of everything, and what needs to be done. I actually made myself look good, because I remembered that since I was last there they had added a new government training needed for my file, and asked my friend if she could send me a link so I would be 100% up to date. Given that a lot of teachers are behind on or not doing their trainings, this makes me look fantastic.

AND!!! The pay is SO good. Like until I get my first paycheck I don't know what my exact rate is. but minimum wage here is around 15, starbucks I think i was getting 15.25, and this job starts teachers at fucking 19 an hour. As a site director I was getting 23 an hour, but post taxes it ended up closer to 19 cause it was a higher tax bracket. But like...either way. This job pays fucking bank if you can do the work.

And like... at the end of the day I am valuable and needed. The company has been having a lot of staffing problems, both from high turnover in the educational/childcare sector in general, but also because of federal background checks being super super slowed down. (this might not still be a problem but it was from july to december of last year). Other than this one training I am 100% trained. In fact for the position, over trained. I am comfortable with the job, know how things work, and like whether I'm officially a site director or not that is still a cohort I used to belong to, and I'm still in contact with one of them. I know people at most if not all sites, the district manager really liked me, and had actually tried to get me to stay by suggesting I step down to a teacher position, like I'm trying to get now.

IDK. Sorry if you've read all of this and are expecting a point, its just...so much to think about. Like...I left this job for a lot of reasons, but one was that I wasn't fully qualified for the position I was in legally speaking, and I was basically being slowly be replaced embarrassingly, cause everyone knew me as the one in charge but suddenly I wasn't. But I'm still a good teacher, it was just a bad situation. And like...theres a lot of teachers out there that aren't that great, but all the site directors in the area as well as the district manager know I'm damn good. And its this weird position where I'm basically walking in like "sup I'm back, you know you missed me, give me shifts, I can do whatever where ever, you know me" And so far it seems to be working.

[for-the-freaks-and-geeks-ptii]

all odd numbers, go

1. selfie

That’ll be its own post

3. do you miss anyone?

Old friends. On occasion.

5. is there anyone who can always make you smile?

My sisters and my closest friends. My best friends I’ve had since I was like 5

7. what was your life like last year?

The same but colder. It was fucking freezing in Cali last year.

9. who did you last see in person?

My sisters. I picked em up from school today.

11. are you listening to music right now?

Childish Gambino’s new album

13. how do you feel right now?

Kinda hungry. Kinda horny.

15. personality description

I’m calm, funny, warm, and caring. I’d put someone else’s needs before my own a thousand times.

17. opinion on insecurities.

Everyone is of course entitled to have them. I hope that everyone with an insecurity works on it. Bit by bit. You should never feel ashamed to be the way the are or look the way you look.

19. have you ever been to New York?

No. I’m a west coast man.

21. age and birthday?

April 27. Just passed recently actually

23. fear(s)

Heights. Only thing in my life I’m uneasy around. Came from a childhood trauma but I’m better about it these days

25. role model

My grandfather. Best man I knew. I love each day trying to be as good as he was. Hopefully better.

27. things i hate

Bullies. Arrogance. Entitlement. Capitalism. Pickles. You’ll call me an old man for this but TikTok. I think social media is inherently harmful for teenagers but TikTok trends actually have hurt and killed people. Kids should be safe. Always.

29. favourite film(s)

I’m a big movie guy so that’s a long list. Just assume that if you have a favorite movie I’ve also seen it and love it. Godzilla minus one? Incredible. Tarantino movies? Love em but I know there’s problems with a few of em. Horror movies? The genre of horror is so good and survivor girls are my favorite. The big short? Baby Driver? Barbie? Spider-Verse? Too many to think of

31. 3 random facts

About me or in general? Uuuh…I know Japanese, Spanish and English. I’ve met Emma Stone (briefly) cause they filmed part of the amazing spider-man 2 at my high school over the summer and I was there one day to turn in something or other. I’m a virgin.

33. something you want to learn

Archery. Looks fun

35. favourite subject

In school? English. I’ve never had anything lower than an A in English. My ability to retain written information is top notch.

37. favourite actor/actress

Keanu Reeves. He’s really down to earth and kind despite his overwhelming popularity. I like humility.

39. favourite sport(s)

I’m not a sports guy.

41. relationship status

Single cause intimacy scares me

43. favourite song ever

That’s impossible to answer. Music fits your mood and moods change constantly

45. how you found out about your idol

My what?

47. turn ons

Brutal honesty. Short hair. Intelligence. Mettle. Wit.

49. where i want to be right now

A nice little beach area just south of Santa Barbara. Either with family or friends or a significant other if I ever got one of those

51. starsign

Taurus?

53. 5 things that make me happy

Friends, food, travel, family and video games

55. tumblr friends

I’ve made several. Many were lost in the purge. Myself included. They’re cute dorky horny types.

57. favourite animal(s)

Dogs. They’ve all liked me and I them. Never met an animal that was hostile towards me. I make peace with most creatures very quickly

59. why i joined tumblr

I was in high school and found out you could post porn on it and post about nerdy stuff. Plus no one I knew irl followed me so I ran rampant. Met lots of other nerdy horny people. Freaks and geeks

Thanks for asking 💜

[asidewalksymphony]

Watching Doctor Who s14e01 (also fuck you I'm not calling it s01, its s14)

SPOILERS BELOW

40:00/46:31 - One of the things that annoys me a little, is because of this entire "reboot" thing, they're info dumping at the top of this episode. They just speed ran explaining the Doctor's back story in like a few minutes. Half of me is fine with it, it's helping new people get caught up quickly. But also annoying cause like...it's removing literally all the mystery to him that we all got to experience back in 2005. I dunno I'm feeling a bit mixed so far.

39:20/46:31 - Okay I do enjoy that he's much more casual with touch, lmao. He just INSTANTLY grabs onto Ruby, when he's startled/scary that was honestly very cute.

36:45/46:31 - Yeesh they are REALLY speed-running some shit. Starting to not enjoy the weird info dump and way of bringing Ruby "up to speed" with other companions. She's not getting to discover anything about the Doctor herself, she's just getting the information thrown at her.

32:50/46:31 - Okay the Space Babies are so fucking weird LMAOOOO. The SFX for their mouths looks terrifying. Though the Doctor and Ruby being so sweet to the babies is honestly super cute. OH NO, THE ONE BABY SAID SHE'S NEVER HAD A HUG. Okay, I'm fine with the Doctor showing fatherly/parental tendencies, it's cute, and a nod to him being a father before.

25:28/46:31 - Okay I am enjoying the mystery of Ruby's backstory being the over-arching plotline for the season. Sprinkling in the mystery of her origin throughout the season will hopefully have a good conclusion at the end of the season. The seasons for 10 were great for sprinkling small things for an overly arching plot line happening in the background that would resolve in the last 2 episodes.

23:10/46:31 - IT'S THE ACTRESS FOR QUEEN CHARLOTTE FROM BRIDGERTON!!!! YAAAAAY! I love her as an actress. Also, oh my fucking god is the moral of the story about the wrongness of abortion bans?! The whole "They won't let the baby machine turn off, but once the babies are born, they won't take care of them?" thing made me go !!! lmao.

19:05/46:31 - Okay the "Nanny Filter" thing is funny. "Invoking the Deity" made me cackle. Wait oh my god I love how Ncuti Gatwa runs? He runs like...like a dancer?? Does he have dance experience??

16:07/46:31 - THE BABY HAS A FLAMETHROWER!!!!!

11:52/46:31 - Okay I enjoy how Ncuti made the Doctor cunty. I enjoy it so much, he's bringing back the sass that 9 had.

[lovestuckyhatemarvel]

Okay, another hour and a half long episode.

1.) Brenner missed the sad CGI and also baby El was very good at sealing the upside down.

2.) Brenner should have been a tattoo artist instead. I mean, a tattoo artist for adults, not kids. He’s got very steady hands and can tattoo numbers very exactly.

3.) THIS IS MUSIC.

4.) Honestly so far the only one who’s been a snob about music is Robin. But also I still don’t think Eddie would like Taylor Swift.

5.) Henry really wants to villain monologue at you, Nancy. Take a seat for this cliche.

6.) Damn, the CGI on those restraints is…bad.

7.) These images are going way too fast.

8.) Damn, Steve. Your arms are nice.

9.).”Written and directed by the Duffer Brothers”. I Know. That’s the Problem.

10.) What’s the point of keeping Yuri quiet at this point?

11.) Hopper, we super had a funeral for you.

12.) El is actually doing really badly.

13.) Why is anyone surprised that demogorgons can climb? Look at those fuck off legs.

14.) DID NONE OF THESE GUARDS PAY ATTENTION TO HOPPER USING FIRE?

15.) Okay the soldiers can unload their clip into a demogorgon and nothing happens but Hopper can shoot a demodog once in the head like Ol Yeller and it works.

16.) Okay but for real, where are the Russians getting all these bastards? Fun tubes, but WHERE ARE THEY FROM? Are they from Hawkins? How did they transfer that shit?

17.) HOW’D THEY GET THE CGI DUST MONSTER TO RUSSIA?

18.) Okay she can lift a thing.

19.) Will, I’m so sorry, but I did not care about your speech to Mike.

20.) I still don’t understand how Henry survived El’s attack or why the upside down didn’t turn into anything for him or what the fuck he did for like a decade floating in a void.

21.) Why is everyone whispering

22.) El got to hear at least some of the plan, at least.

23.) The War Zone is a hilarious name for a shop.

24.) Eddie, you moron. Wearing a mask doesn’t help if you’re wearing a shirt emblazoned with your club.

25.) BIG BOY.

26.) My roommate pointed out the RV would have been hooked up to water and sewage so driving it off like that would have fucked up the ground and the vehicle.

27.) I do not understand why Henry is so powerful or why him killing people would give him their powers when it doesn’t do that for El.

28.) I still don’t want Steve and Nancy together. Also I don’t think he actually said he wanted her there.

29.) that helicopter is hilarious

30.) “The KGB will be listening to this call” Oh what a change. This time it’ll be agents of someone else’s government that will be listening in.

31.) Oh, okay, Steve got the jacket from War Zone. Where’s the vest though?

32.) Ah, the boyfriend reveal.

33.) I still hate Jason Carver. Also, buckshot has a pretty good range, dipshit.

34.) Tire tracks. Ah yes, the plot happened here.

35.) IDK why El told Sam to check Max’s place. The bit she heard did not make it seem like they were staying there. And so Sam asking that woman for that was kind of stupid.

36.) What? Brenner double crossed Sam Owens? Who could have predicted this twist? Surely only the greatest psychics.

37.) I am proud of El for saying to Brenner’s face that he’s a monster.

38.) Baby girl, kill Brenner anyway.

39.) YOU KNOW WHO WOULD LOVE TO KILL BRENNER? KALI. THE GIRL NO ONE IN THIS FACILITY TALKS ABOUT.

40.) Robin and Steve are sweet.

41.) goddamn it, brenner, just remove El’s collar.

42.) I am glad Brenner got shot so many times though.

43.) Oh shit, it’s the script.

44.) oh no the psychic child is using her psychic powers to stop your from badly shooting at her? Who could have predicted this?

45.) oh my god el, do something real already.

46.) the payoff wasn’t worth it.

47.) “Yeah, it’s cool, but it would have been better if it’d happened about 11 seconds earlier.” My roommate is hilarious.

48.) Brenner turned off the collar as a last act. Okay whatever.

49.) BRENNER SHUT THE FUCK UP AND DIE ALREADY.

50.) this heartfelt conversation makes no sense and was not earned.

51.) brenner you were shot like 5 times by a sniper rifle, how are you still talking, let alone alive?

52.) SHould have run over his corpse with the pizza van

53.) god they held on that brenner shot for way too long

54.) WHO’S GONN DIE????? Just say everyone.

55.) moody shots.

56.) LMAO THIS SONG. GOD. DUFFERS, STOP SUCKING YOUR OWN CODCKS FOR FIVE SECONDS.

Oh god I looked ahead and the season 4 finale is 2 and 22 minutes long. I hate the duffers.

[bratshaws]

through the hourglass 55. brb x oc

THIS FIC IS 18+ ONLY! MINORS PLS DNI!

a/n: HELLO MY LOVELIES IM BACK AND IM STILL LEARNING HOW TO DEAL WITH THIS HUGE ASS MONITOR LOL (also do let me know if the letters are white or black pls...AND NEXT CHAPTER IS SMUT)

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: light smut uwu

goodness gracious (pls read this one to know more what this fic is about!!)

chapter

1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/11/12/13/14/15/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23/24/25/26/27/28/29/30/31/32/33/34/35/36/37/38/39/40/41/42/43/44/45/46/47/48/49/50/51/52/53/54

(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!! )

taglist: @mirandastuckinthe80s @roosterschanelslut @wiipes @lcahwriter @shrimping-for-all @gretagerwigsmuse @frenchtoastix

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-

Rooster walks in the house with his eyes immediately moving around to find Bea and Nikki somewhere in their house. The dogs greeted him first, obviously, and then he turned his head left and right, trying to catch a glimpse of his girls “Baby?” He calls, putting his sunglasses up to his scalp “Gorgeous?” 

 

Jolene wags her tail at him, barking quietly to call his attention, then gently nibbles his middle finger to take him away from the front door and back to the staircase. “Are they up there?” the dog obviously didn’t answer, but he knew that was the reason why she took him there. So he petted her head and slowly - and quietly - made his way up the stairs.   

He checked Nicole’s room first, seeing that his daughter was sleeping soundly inside her crib with the baby monitor directed towards her. He stood by the door watching her sleep with his eyes soft and smile enamored, until he heard the softest snore coming from the master bedroom.   

Rooster slowly turned around to where he could see the sliver from the inside of the room by the crack on the door. He saw Beatrice curled up on the bed, lying on his side with her body in fetal position, hair covering most of her face as she snoozed. If he had to choose which one of them looked cuter sleeping he had no answer.   

Beatrice’s hands were tucked under her chin, knees up to her chest, she looked so much smaller than she actually was, it was adorable. Rooster toed out his shoes by the door, wincing when it landed on the floor a bit too loud, shifting his eyes to Beatrice and sighing when he saw she was still asleep.   

He was even vagarous while climbing on the bed, flicking his eyes to Beatrice to check if she was aware of his presence and smiling when she just snuggled his pillow even more. As he lowered himself onto the bed, he noticed how she had her phone clutched tight in her hand, something she never did before.   

Bradley furrowed his brows but kept that information in the back of his mind, scooting closer to Beatrice until their chests were almost touching, his hand gently caressing the side of her face.    

The brunette inhaled sharply, her eyes still closed as she groaned quietly, rubbing her face in the pillow and curling onto herself even more. “Fuck,she’s so cute.” he whispered to himself, twirling a strand of hair on his index finger, rubbing it’s length with his thumb and watching it bounce back in it’s wavy shape.   

He noticed how her hair was getting more wavy, no longer sleek straight as it was before Nicole was born. It was really pretty, honestly it fit her really well and from what he remembered her hair when she was younger was pretty much like that. Beatrice hums again in her sleep, a mutter of his name breaking out of her lips as her nose buries itself into his pillow and a tiny smile could be seen from her profile.   

Rooster just bit his lower lip, almost in disbelief at how adorable she still was. Honestly, he’d let her sleep more, but when he looked down at his watch he noticed it was time for her to start her shower so she could go to the bar later.   

He kisses her forehead first, then under her eyes and then finally the tip of her nose, “Gorgeous.” he calls gently, “Baby.” Beatrice just moaned tiredly, more of her hair falling over her face as she moved, “Pretty girl…it’s time to wake up.”   

“Mmmmm….five m’re minutes….please…” but he could see she was slowly waking up, her eyes no longer shaking with dreams and her body moving a bit more than before.   

“Baby, you have to get ready.” he mutters, “And so do I.” he runs the back of his finger against the bare skin of her thigh, the one that those black runner shorts hid nothing of, “We have to take Nikki to your parents,remember?”   

Beatrice moans again, louder this time and her eyes move under the eyelids as if she’s trying to see in the dark. Once she figures out that makes no sense, she blinks them open, slowly, pupil enlarging and shrinking when she focuses on him and no one else but him. He’s a blob of colors at first, but once her vision sharpens she smiles tiredly, “Roos…”   

“Hey,gorgeous.” he grins, “Good nap?”   

“Mmmmmmhm…” she smiles even more, resting her chin on his arm, “Did you just get home?”   

“Just walked past the door, gorgeous. Have you been sleeping long?”   

Beatrice smacks her lips, then runs her hand through her hair to comb it back and away off her face, squinting as she looks down at her phone, “...about…thirty minutes I think.” she whispers, rubbing her eyes with her fingertips, “Nikki fell asleep and I was watching her…I think I passed out because of that too.”   

“It can be very contagious.” he adds with a small grin, still caressing her thigh, “You looked so peaceful but I had to wake you up, gorgeous.”   

“I know,I appreciate it Roos.” but she does snuggle closer to him, burying her face on his neck, “Hmmm, you are smelling really nice,Lieutenant.” he could feel the smile on his skin as he immediately stiffened, pupils blown wide and eyes darker than the night sky as soon as she said it.   

“Bea…” he warns with a soft laugh, “Don’t start.”   

“Start what?” she replies innocently, kissing right on his jugular, right where she found out was another weak spot for him, one she had to take advantage of more often. Rooster groans quietly, digging his fingers on the plush flesh of her thigh and immediately letting out a sound of disappointment when she backs away from him, “I have to shower,Rooster.”   

And she bit her lower lip, sleep gone, green eyes twinkling with mirth. Rooster just watched her stand up slowly, adjusting the fabric of her shorts against her ass - the movement also caught the elastic of her underwear, snapping it against her skin but he wasn’t sure if it was on purpose or not - and her head tilted back towards him, “...you are evil.”   

Beatrice smiles more, pulling the shorts up so it’d make the curve of her buttcheeks more defined, “I don’t know what you mean.”   

But he smirked back at her, watching as she walked away from the bed - those hips swaying and beckoning him like a snakecharmer does to a snake - holding his head up with an arm, “Maybe we should shower together?”   

“Mmmm,tempting.” comes her reply from the closet, the ruffling of clothes adding to the sound, “But we both know it’ll take longer than a normal shower for me…besides,” she peeks her head out, shrugging at him, “You can be a bit patient, can’t you?”   

“...why,do you have something planned?” 

“I didn’t say I had.”   

“You didn’t say you hadn’t.”   

She was driving him crazy, that cute little grin and her cheeks flushing were his actual weak point, hell,Beatrice herself was the weak point. She could be doing nothing and he’d still feel like a puddle next to her, “Baby.” he tries, crawling off the bed to follow her into the bathroom, “What are you planning?”   

“Nothing.” she says sweetly, “I’m just…saying you can be patient.”   

He is going to die because of her cheekiness.   

Beatrice squeaks out in surprise when his arms wrap around her from behind, his lips touching the curve of her jaw with the fuzz of his mustache tickling her skin. The clothes she planned to wear that night were held tightly against her chest as he devoured her neck, “Rooster!”   

“Tell me.” he whispers against her skin, “Let me in on your secrets, pretty girl.”   

“There’s no secret,Brad.” she giggles, trying to break free from him, “I have to shower! You gotta let me go.”   

“Tell me what your plan is and I will~”   

“No!” she laughs, “I can’t!”   

And then he lifts his head from her neck, “Ah…so there is a plan.” she just giggled again, wriggling in his grasp, “Tell me.” and he’s about to kiss her neck again when they both hear the doorbell ringing. Bradley sighs heavily, dropping his head on her shoulder with a little smile, “I think I better see who it is,huh?”   

“Well,yeah,I’m going to shower, Brad.” she says, turning her head to kiss the corner of his mouth,”And maybe if you hurry you can join me. And…shower quickly.”   

Rooster immediately let go of her waist, stepping away from her but then stopping and leaning closer just enough to slap her ass. The cracking sound was loud enough to echo around the bathroom, followed by Beatrice’s little scream of surprise, “Brad!”   

“I’m going! I’m going!” but he does sneak one last peek at her before he leaves the room. As he grabs his phone to check who it was in the camera app, he is surprised to see it was a well dressed young man, holding at least three large boxes in his hands with choppy blue hair and round glasses.   

Bradley stops at the top of the stairs, while Eleanor surrounds the front door with a low growling leaving her throat, “Can I help you?”   

The young man jumps in surprise when he hears the disembodied voice, until he sees the camera “Oh, I’m sorry,I uh- I’m Caleb,I’m one of Mr.Beverly’s assistants?” he sounds extremely hesitant, maybe Rooster’s tone and Eleanor growling were to blame, “He uh, he asked me to deliver these? For Ms.Beatrice and her family? Is this the right house?”   

Wait for her family?   

Bradley blinks out of surprise, speeding down the steps, “Yeah hold on, let me just-Ellie back, to the kitchen with your mom and brother, go.” The white pittie mix hesitates for a minute, then turns around and trots away to the kitchen…while still keeping her head on the threshold to watch whatever was about to happen.   

Rooster unlocks the door after a few seconds, only seeing the immense boxes and not the young man, that is until he craned his neck and saw the top of Caleb’s head, “Hey,” he begins, “I’m Beatrice’s husband,Bradley.”   

“O-Oh,hello,” he struggles a bit but managed to hold out a hand while keeping the boxes still in his grasp, “I’m so sorry,I just started working with Mr.Beverly,” he explains as Rooster cautiously shakes his hand, “And he isn’t here now, so he uh, he asked me to deliver these?”   

“Oh,okay, here. Let me help.” he knew the young man didn’t want to say yes but he did let out a very relieved sigh when Rooster slowly got the boxes out of his hand, holding them all with one of his own before putting them on the floor. “Any idea what’s in there?”   

Caleb wiped his forehead, adjusting his glasses soon after, “Not a clue, the other assistants were asked to make these,I’m just the errand boy,” and he laughed awkwardly, “Well,um,I’m going to go now so…see you,thanks again!’   

“No worries,kid.” Bradley waves him off, seeing a much relieved Caleb walking to a sleek black car and then driving away. Before he closes the door he feels a huge head pressing against his leg, looking down to see Eleanor looking to where Caleb drove off, “Ellie, come on, inside.” she just growls, “Don’t talk back to me,missy.”   

She does have the last quiet ‘boof’ after he closes the door.   

As he gathers everything in his arms, he hears the shower is still running, which meant Beatrice wasn’t done yet….and that meant he had to walk faster back to their room.   

He almost throws the boxes in his haste to go into the bathroom, but he chooses to place them all on the bed. As soon as he does though, he starts removing his top and undershirt, unbuckling his belt and tossing it unceremoniously on the floor, “Roos?” he hears her calling, just as he’s pulling down his briefs, “Who was it?”   

“One of Marcus’ assistants.” He has his eyes on her silhouette through the dark foggy glass, following the curves of her body, almost tripping over himself to get inside the shower as quickly as he could, “Brought some stuff over.”   

“Oh, really?” She sounded so calm, a complete opposite of the feverish speed her husband was undressing himself, “That’s so sweet of him,I’ll have to send him a message later.”   

“Yeah,later.” and he pulls the door open, barely giving Beatrice a chance to breathe before he slammed their lips together. She just laughed into his mouth, wrapping her arms around his neck as he pushed her backwards to the wall, where the cold tiles sent a shock all over her warm skin. “I think I was fast enough.”   

“I think so too.” she squeaks into his mouth as he picks her up by the back of the legs, pressing her against the wall with her thighs wrapped tightly around his waist. Beatrice sighs softly, trying to keep her voice as quiet as she could, “We can’t spend too long here.”   

“I know,gorgeous.” his hand is already moving between them, his middle finger brushing over her clit was enough to make a gentle cry break out of her, “I can make you cum twice in…maybe ten minutes?”   

“T-Ten? W-We can’t–”   

“Is that a nine I hear?”   

“God, Brad,W-We–!”   

“...hmmm…eight minutes and thirty seconds, got it.” and he has that annoyingly adorable smirk on his face when two of his fingers slide inside, making Beatrice dig her nails in his shoulders with her head thrown back in a gentle moan. He’s not going to waste too much time, like she said, they had things to do and if they spent too long people would get suspicious.   

But there was something so beautiful about seeing her flushed, wet - in all senses -and trying her best to keep her voice quiet all the while bruising the upper layer of skin on his shoulders with her short nails. She sounds out of breath, almost gulping for air, trying her best to keep her moans to a minimum as he angles his wrist to hit that special spot inside of her…which she should’ve expected, so she could prevent the loud sharp yelp that broke out of her mouth, immediately biting her lips after to keep any other sound inside.   

Bradley’s whisky colored eyes were on her mossy green ones, his smirk widening just as his hand moved faster. He flicked his gaze down to where her breast was just at mouth level with him, “Don’t mind if I do.” he was gentle as soon he took one in his mouth because she often complained of how sore it was,making sure to kiss the soft and heavy flesh with his fingers still moving in and out of her.   

“B-Brad..” she gasps out, moving her hips in hopes to match with his own velocity, but she could barely keep up, “A-Ah! Brad,please! I need to c-cum!!”   

“Oh I know.” and his hand speeds up even more, Beatrice’s soft shrieks of pleasure were his only response, her hips moving in hopes she could meet his thrusts, “I promised I would make you cum twice in less than eight minutes right?”   

“Y-Yes…God…Brad!!”   

“What is it,gorgeous? Hm?” his hand keeps its steady yet feverish movement, his lips on her ear, “I don’t even know what’s wetter, you or this shower.” Beatrice’s soft moan in response only ama cool made him chuckle almost darkly, he loved how vocal she was. Beatrice could barely see straight with how good he made her feel, with how much her body just ached and begged just for his fingers alone.   

Beatrice’s hands slipped on his shoulders because of the water, “Brad,” it comes out in gulps of air, her body nearing the point of combustion, voice shaky and eyes trying their hardest to be open, ‘Brad…God…I’m–” her body immediately stilled, it just took a firm swipe over her clit for her orgasm to hit with full force.   

The hands that slipped from his shoulders now dug into his muscles like he was a lifeline, her gentle satisfactory cry only made his grin wider, his nose buried into her wet hair as she shook with aftershocks, “Mmmm,baby?”   

“J-just a second.” her voice was jittery and her hands trembled, “Just a s-second Roos.”   

And he allows that, kissing her wet scalp and avoiding his own obvious predicament just so she could breathe. Beatrice hums against his skin, slowly lifting her head as if it weighed one hundred pounds, albeit she’s weakly smiling at him, “Good?”   

“...great…” she whispers, cupping his cheeks so they could kiss, sliding her hands up his scalp only to earn that delicious deep groan she loved so much. It was like they were discovering each other’s bodies again with the way they were groping and touching each other, which neither of them were complaining about.   

Rooster had his lips on her neck, licking and biting the skin when Beatrice suddenly stilled, “Did you hear that?”   

“Mmm…what?”   

“Shh,Roos.” she tilts her head up so her ear is directed to the sound, “I think it’s Nikki.”   

The mention of Nicole immediately makes him lift his head and stare at her, “What?” He turns quiet after hearing the faint sound of his daughter’s mumbling and cooing as she wakes up, “...oh.” While disappointed, he shouldn’t be too surprised, Nicole did wake up during this time after all.   

Beatrice smiles sweetly, “It’s okay,Roos.” she whispers, kissing his lips gently, “I can go check on her really quick and…take care of everything with you?”   

Honestly he’d be up to it, but he thought better about it and just chuckled,”No,gorgeous…I’ll just have a cold shower for right now.”   

“...but–”   

“Pretty girl,I’m fine.” he coos, kissing her temple, “Go check on Nikki and I’ll finish it here.”   

As much as she didn’t want to, ‘leave him hanging’ so to speak, she knew he had already decided and the only thing she could do was nod and walk out of the shower, grabbing her robe  before giving him an apologetic look, “I’ll make it up to you.”   

“Oh I know,” he smirks, swatting his hand on the buttcheeks before she could cover it, “I’m counting on it,gorgeous.”   

Beatrice yelped with a laugh, narrowing her eyes at him before she pulled her hair up in a towel, walking out of the bathroom tugging the robe’s knot tight around her middle. Nicole’s little sounds were constant now, which meant she was fully awake and demanded attention, and as soon as she stepped past the threshold, her daughter’s light eyes were on her.   

“Hi sweetie,” she coos down at Nicole as she leans over the crib’s gate, “Hi! You just woke up, yes I know!” Nicole was getting very talkative and for a child that just turned a month old it was quite amazing! During one of her doctor appointments,Beatrice was told that Nicole was just eager to talk to her parents, hence why she was so vocal at such an early stage of her life.   

It was adorable, really, seeing how much Nikki loved both of them, “C’mere, you.” Beatrice gently picks her up, placing her daughter’s cheek on her shoulder, Nicole’s soft brown hair tickling her lips as she kisses her head, “Are you excited about staying with Nonna and Nonno? They are both so excited to see you,Nikki.”   

Nicole made a little soft noise on her mother’s shoulder, nibbling the soft cloth of her robe, “Oh you are probably hungry.” she whispers, “Let’s get you ready really quick.” and since she had her robe it was a much easier access for her daughter to latch, “Ow, okay, you are hungry.”   

And she latched on so quickly that Beatrice let out a sigh of relief. She was usually so fussy, refusing to eat, it was a literal breath of fresh air once she did. But her daughter’s eyes were still on her mom, light green with speckles of gold almost, the more she grew, the more Beatrice could see her characteristics clearer, “You are just unreal, just like your dad.” Beatrice whispers, brushing her daughter’s cheek with the pad of her thumb, “Unreal and perfect.”   

“Unreal and perfect?” she turns her head when she hears his deep voice, like molasses, speak from the door. He’s only wearing his jeans, with his white tee balled in one of his hands as he folds his arms over his chest, “Elaborate on that.”   

Beatrice laughs softly, looking back down at Nikki, “I won’t.” she smiles, “Not yet.”   

“She’s eating fine?”   

“Yep,” Nicole’s eyes move from Beatrice to Rooster, “Latched as soon as possible, a record time to be honest with you.”   

Rooster smiled back, pushing himself from the doorframe to approach the two, “When you are done I can stay with her so you can change,” he tells Beatrice,leaning down to peck her head, “You don’t have to worry about it.”   

“I know.” she replies, brushing her thumb on Nicole’s soft hand, “I won’t take too long.”   

“By the way,” he says, crouching down to Nicole’s level, brushing his knuckle against her soft foot, “I placed Marcus’ gifts inside the closet, so you can check what they are later.”   

“Oh, so you didn’t huh?”   

“Me?” he smirks, “Of course not. You know I love surprises.” 

Her cheeks flushed over his words but she just laughed, gently swatting his arm after a few seconds. Considering that time was ticking by and they had to move, Beatrice handed Nicole over to Rooster as soon as she was finished and rushed to their bedroom to change. Honestly she still had the moments from minutes before still in her mind, something that sent jolts of pleasure all over her body and she feared that it’d be the only thing in her mind the whole night.   

And when she looked back at him before leaving, seeing those brown eyes twinkling with mirth and that smirk on his face…she was pretty sure it would. 

[sweetlyfez]

I posted 2,827 times in 2022

That's 308 more posts than 2021!

47 posts created (2%)

2,780 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@starrypawz

@rorid-gravellock

@starlightomatic

@hufflefluffles

@hacash

I tagged 1,516 of my posts in 2022

Only 46% of my posts had no tags

#funny - 85 posts

#art - 65 posts

#history - 46 posts

#fez talks - 45 posts

#us politics - 44 posts

#uk politics - 41 posts

#textiles - 32 posts

#fashion - 26 posts

#cute - 22 posts

#happy things - 19 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#or people like my brother's ex who knew all the fancy cooking techniques but reliably turned out food that just didn't fucking taste of any

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

gotta laugh when the taste in men uquizzes are like "lol daddy issues u picked all the old men" but actually you're over thirty

11 notes - Posted February 4, 2022

#4

Whale weekly crew please note there is a link to an annotated version in the email which may help with the old-fashioned language, references, and jargon.

I thought the pythagorean maxim was gonna be something about angles but apparently it is a fart joke. Great stuff

29 notes - Posted November 21, 2022

#3

I know it's forEVER since the end of Castlevania s4 but the Nocturne teaser reactivated the Trephacard brain and all I'm saying is if anyone would like some *realistic* post-S4 pregnancy and baby headcanons just gimme a wave

48 notes - Posted June 12, 2022

#2

Ty @amiandivh for responding to my post here's the baby and pregnancy headcanon post!

Timeline wise I reckon Sypha noticed her period was late when they were in Targoviste, briefly mentioned it to Trevor, but didn't think about it much cos you know, they were busy.

So Trevor's emotional "final" speech was absolutely with the assumption that they'd conceived.

The day she's trying to leave is probably no more than 10 days later and Alucard will have caught her throwing up a couple of mornings in a row like "Is there anything you'd like to talk about?" (that thing in tv shows where morning sickness is the first idea someone has that they're pregnant is actually how it goes often? I totally thought it was a TV lie for so long)

Alucard and Trevor spend the first trimester trying to be so helpful that it becomes irritating. Alucard is at least able to provide some good treatment for the queasiness and finds lots of info in the castle about good nutrition. Trevor just impedes his own recovery until the others give him a bollocking

The boys are also on lookout for a bump immediately and are kind of amazed it takes like 4 months to be clear even with every woman in the village going "yeah it's a first baby that's how it goes?"

Trevor is horrified by the stories that all the women are passing around about their own pregnancies and childbirth. When he asks Sypha if it worries her she's like "Not no but these ideas are less new to me, and we have an entire castle full of medical technology so it'll probably be ok"

Everyone's folk traditions about how to tell the baby's sex before they're born are shared and argued over. Alucard rolls his eyes at all of them but does confide that he thinks a baby girl would "suit" them

No sonograms or doppler machine obviously but dhampir hearing isn't bad for checking on the heartbeat when the baby goes still for a day at around 26 weeks.

When Sypha starts having contractions at least half the women around are like "eh, it's probably a false alarm" bc it's exactly the start of the week they reckon she's due and babies are so rarely that on time.

The men are banished from the delivery room but are allowed back in after the third time they pester the women going back and forth for supplies for a progress update.

Everyone agrees it was a pretty normal labour but the baby is on the big side, and impressively strong.

Everyone is Obsessed with the newest Belmont and their big baby blue eyes. They have so many honorary aunties.

Sypha insists they look like Trevor. Trvor insists they look like Sypha. Alucard quickly tires of the discussion and comes back with nonsense comparisons like "Well they've got a nose. Dragos the baker has a nose, maybe they take after him."

Alucard offers the stash of his baby toys he found in a castle attic. Every single one has a bat or skull motif on it.

187 notes - Posted June 14, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

It's now tradition, when we have bought a sweet pumpkin, to chant as it comes into the house "YES, YES, THEY HAVE THE SUGAR PUMPKIN", bc that's the message we got from @elodieunderglass after asking for pumpkin pie advice.

235 notes - Posted October 7, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[ofbetterbodies]

live commentary w timestamps below the cut:

13:15

Kat reading the bell jar then being asked by her father if she made anyone cry today... i get her

14:21

Inside of me are two wolves.... Kat and Bianca

17:45

Dating someone like me (insane swiftie) is quite literally like dating: extreme edition

19:03

Michael being in focus and Patrick being in the background but not in focus while he's being talked about >>>>

got tired of doing the time stamp thing so I'm going to just make a note of the time of the movie every 15 mins or so

lmaooo both Patrick and Kat being like I AM SCARY 👹 GO AWAY!!! Meanwhile they're both the softest softies

just realized I look like Joey but a girl 😭

UGH THE CAMERA WORK FROM THE GOLFERS TO THE FOOTBALL FIELD

THE WAY HEATH SAYS NOT MY PROBLEM 😭🫶🏻

Patrick and Kat are both smart as fuck I love them together god bless

THEIR FIGHTING AND BANTER AND JSUT FHDJDJDNN THEYRE SOOO

Joseph Gordon levitt is so baby in this

00:25:00

not to get #personal but my older sister is so Bianca with Kat's aesthetic and demeanor but she's older than me which explains so much of our relationship

bianca - "definite potential" so lizziecore

Imma be fr I also like being adored

I do love how it's sooo obvious that Patrick genuinely liked Kat but was terrified of her 😭

Joey and Kat's cars being similar in color and size but completely different in style as a character note >>>

PATRICK LAUGHING AT KAT LMAOOOOO

kat's Mary Janes are SOOO beautiful I want them in pink

Kat talking to her dad like that such a kinnie moment tbh

The holographic rainbow sticker inside Patrick's locker is like his whole character

Love the makeup on Bianca and Joey being similar perhaps to convey the similarities in their vapidness (as of now in the narrative on Bianca's part)

00:33:00

Cameron and Bianca's intel operation snooping through Kat's room💀

"A girls room in very personal" tight shot on Bianca

Cut to: Kat's room which they have torn apart 😭

I get Kat for her thing against smokers imma be fr

you're telling me I'm NOT a pretty guy?

angry girl music of the pop persuasion is my personal MO

KAT GO DANCEY DANCE!!!

Don't have the words to describe it but I love how this sequence of Patrick seeing Kat dancing is done like it's so soft (his little smile and sharp intake of breath like damn!)

I'm like I think heath ledger's performance as Patrick Verona is a perfectly executed character and they're like partial credit

Julia Stiles' reaction to seeing Heath's character is soooooooo good

Girl who is an actress: I love acting

Me to me: why can't you be normal

"To distract themselves from the emptiness of their meaningless consumer driven lives" speak on it queen

Kat vs Bianca's outfitsssss sistersssss dichotomyyyyyy

00:40:00

THE EMPATHY BELLY 😭 my parents made me watch this scene in 5th grade to make sure I knew the weight of my decisions

Heath's delivery of "9:30, right?" My heart ❣️

Cameron or Patrick levels of down bad or we're not talking

THIS PARTY SHOT!!!

Every time I watch this movie i forget Bogey was having a small casual get together (having a few people over from cxgf) and the kids from school kind of just took over his house 😭 he didn't throw a crazy party

I do also love that this movie shows story progression of even the bg characters bc Bogey was featured earlier

Oh! That must be Nigel with the Brie :)

This one dude pulling up with an entire dj kit

I fucking love how Kat's hair looks 😭😭 will be stealing

THE GLASS DOOOOOOORRRR

Bogey: 😃 thank youuuu 🙁

making bad decisions bc your sister rejects you in public so true, queen

I do honestly really enjoy these live blogs w time stamps bc I feel like it's such a good exercise in plot pacing

I will never understand why Cameron did not tell Bianca that Joey paid for the whole setting up Patrick and Kat thing

Joey just wants a mommy he can fuck and it's hilarious (classic)

00:47:00

Really really thank you

Patrick trying to stop Kat <3

Yet another Kat Stratford kinnie moment (making bad decisions and a fool of yourself in public due to an interaction w your sister)

God I love Patrick's pep talk to Cameron so much

Kat and Patrick are so mother and father they're so goals

LEAVE IT TO YOU TO USE BIG WORDS WHEN YOURE SMASHED 😭😭😭

Who needs affection when I have blind hatred 🫶🏻🫶🏻 yeah

I have never been understood more

Kat and Pat on da swings fo today

Patrick taking such good care of Kat >>>>>>>

YOUR EYES HAVE A LITTLE GREEN IN THEM *throws up*

Kat's moment in the car realizing she should start a band is so me realizing I want to be a music producer core

The only thing people know about me is that I'm ~scary~ (I was scary but did not realize it and became homeschooled before I put 2+2 together )

Yknow... you're not as vile as i thought you were

I realllllllyyy wish Patrick had said something like uuuh you are intoxicated and I am not like that but then again plot

The parallels of Bianca vs Kat's car scenes and kiss vs failed kiss.... sisterisms

Cameron literally said WE ARE SOOO BACK

I do also have an opinion about everything 🧍🏻‍♀️

00:57:00

Mandella and Michael are actually cute as hell

"Hates him with the fire of a thousand suns" REAL

I get Kat for being a hater because her romantic aspirations did not work out

Bianca shooting her gym teacher in the ass and clearly not giving a fuck because she is so deeply selfish 😭

I think that Patrick should have just told Kat everything and planned to rip off Joey bc she would have LOVED that

Oh Patrick I get you (staring at someone beautiful while they enjoy playing music)

"You're not as mean as you think you are"

"You're not as badass as you think you are"

Them 🩷

The look on Patrick's face after Kat leaves him 😭😭😭 DOWN HORRIFIC

MARCHING BAND AND LIVE SERENADE OF CANT TAKE MY EYES OFF YOU what a scene

GETTING HAULED OFF BY SECURITY AND DOING A LITTLE DANCE WHILE ESCAPING 🩷

Confiscating the weed the confiscating Cheetos

No commentary on Kat helping Patrick escape because I would never do anything remotely like this (obviously)

1:08:00

"Wits"

Him asking her this question <3 Kat's answer being that she doesn't like doing what people expect... she's so real

YOU NEVER DISAPPOINTED ME ‼️‼️

Paintball scene <3 couple that gets into fun violence together stays together

They're so awful to each other during paintball it's so amazing and romantic

The soundtrack in this movie is so beloved

How does she know the porn career is a lie 😏

God the something true scene

WHY WOULDNT HE TELL HER HERE 😭😭😭

Like I know why but

1:16:00

Joey and Kat lore drop!!!

I totally get kat's decision after Joey broke up with her like it is absolutely the kind of thing that would make you change how you see the world

Sister fight!

ALSO! Realizing that Bianca didn't want to let Cameron see her room because of how cutesey and feminine it is and how many stuffed animals she has

I feel like the relationship between the sisters is one of the reasons this movie has been such a classic for so long

I'm so obsessed with the parallels of the moments with the tvs between Mr Stratford and Bianca

BIANCA'S OUTFIT IS SO ME CORE GOD BLESSSS

Patrick is so stupid for not telling Kat here god fucking bless

And for one precious moment Bianca, Kat and Mandella were all happy

side note: Mandella and Michael are really cute (they have matching outfits!!)

PATRICK INVITING KAT'S FAVORITE BAND (googled: its letters to Cleo) (I feel uncool for having to google it)

Patrick telling Kat "something true" before he finds out the BAD "something true" 🙁

Bianca pummeling Joey ♥️♥️♥️

1:27:00

Bianca and Cameron said sssSSAILING TAKES ME AWAY TO WHERE I ALWAYS HEARD IT COULD BE

Mr Stratford is soooo my dadcore

Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all

Patrick buying Kat a fender stratocaster with the money from Joey>>>

but then- Yknow there's always drums and bass and maybe one day a tambourine

"And don't just think you can-"

Kisses her

What a film.

Side note: letters to Cleo performing on the roof of the school is sooooooooo 1999 idk

watching 10 things i hate about you 🫶🏻