#and he also feels like he's lost a lot of himself since becoming Luminary...or had to cover a lot of things up to make himself more

[soulsxng]

@arcxnumvitae and @fatestouch replied to your post:

WHAT?!

👀👀👀

"It is not an issue of having grown tired of my position, or anything of the sort...though it would likely be a lie if I were to say that I were not feeling somewhat drained."

There's a small hum, and Sivel finally lifts his gaze from the mage pools to regard Ranadi and Alsina, who had eventually begun with a steady (albeit nervous) stream of questions. Why he had brought this up. When he had begun to think about it seriously. Would it be temporary, or permanent? Who would replace him, and what he would be doing, instead?

...What had happened to make him want to abdicate in the first place?

"I love Vasyri...I do. And I love my people just as deeply. But over these past few years, I have come to wonder if, perhaps, I have done all that I am able to for them. Vasyri deserves someone with a fresh outlook on things. Someone who does not look at potential alliances and associations that could benefit us, or end up overly focused on how things might go wrong. Someone that does not feel compelled toward the need to do things on our own, even if we do have allies, so as not to potentially open ourselves up to further threats."

"I think about my home, and I think of what I need to do so as to not fail them again. How I do not think I could stand to see any of my people suffer as they did in the past. And no matter whether I realize that or not, I am never able to shake myself from being almost as overprotective of them as I am of all of you. Of my family..."

"That makes any growth or evolution difficult, if not outright impossible. I know that, and yet...I find that, more and more, I am unable to justify the risks necessary to see much worthwhile change take place. So...while I do not necessarily believe myself to be a poor leader, I feel as though things have grown to be stagnant."

"And all of that is without mentioning the ire that so many outside of Vasyri view me with. I worry that, as long as I am Luminary, the stigma attached to myself and my deeds will continue to weigh Vasyri as a whole down, as well."

He talks through everything in a soft, even tone. It's obvious to both Ranadi and Alsina that this is something he had put a good deal of thought into, since a year or two ago, when he had commented half-jokingly about it to the pair of them.

"Besides...I miss it. How things used to be, when we were younger. Being able to go wherever we fancied at a moment's notice. Exploring and experiencing things with our claim-- something that I have never had the opportunity to do with Ania or Cyrus even once. It feels like, by becoming Luminary, I somehow came to believe that I had to give up so much of myself that, even in my earlier years of ruling, I would never have imagined doing. As if I gave up a part of my culture, pieces of who I am, moments with my loved ones...I look at the person I have become on occasion, and oftentimes, I do not like what I see. What I turned myself into, simply because I thought it was for the best of everyone involved. Because I thought that people would be more impressed, or more intimidated."

"...I do not intend to leave Vasyri forever, nor is this something I intend to rush. I want to be sure that whoever I pass this title onto, they are going to be the right fit. I still want to be around here and there to offer my support and assistance, and to teach people where I can-- both the new Luminary, and whoever else may want to learn from me. And when I'm not doing that, I think I would like to start by going along with Ania, Cyrus, and Sivan on one of their expeditions. After that, maybe I will take them on a trip to some of the spots that mother and father used to bring us when we were younger, with Naya and Nesimah...perhaps Quella. Both of you as well, if it is something you would be open to? It would hardly be the same, otherwise."

"Going back to my abdication, however. As I said, it is not something I intend to rush. I...am coming closer and closer to the conclusion that it is simply my time to take a step back, is all."

[chameleonwritess]

Galaxies in his Eyes

Pairing: Shuichi Saihara/Kaito Momota

Fandom: Danganronpa V3

Words: 1439

Shuichi discovered a whole other universe when he met Kaito Momota.

He hadn't anticipated that universe to become so intertwined with his own.

Read on AO3

When Shuichi used to think of space, he never had that great an opinion of it. Sure, space was pretty cool but it seemed so big and far away and he never really understood what the large appeal behind exploring it was.

Then he met Kaito Momota.

A lot of things changed when he met Kaito Momota.

Kaito was loud and boisterous where Shuichi was quiet and reserved and their unlikely friendship was in large part, due to Kaito’s work.

However, Shuichi wouldn’t change it for the world. In Kaito, he had found solace, confidence and a fierce confidant who believed in him no matter what.

In Kaito, Shuichi discovered that maybe space was a bit more than ‘pretty cool’.

Shuichi learnt a lot from spending time with Kaito. He learnt that apparently, he was stronger than he thought, both physically and mentally. He learnt phrases in Russian and English because Kaito’s astronaut training had demanded that he learn the two languages alongside his native Japanese. He learnt that apparently, he wasn’t only attracted to girls, although Shuichi realised that maybe wasn’t too much of a huge realisation to him.

He also learnt why Kaito loved space so much. Kaito had originally pretended that it was just the next big adventure for him to take on- to become Luminary of the Stars. It didn’t take long for the detective to see through his farce.

Kaito wanted an escape, in part. He’d been raised by his grandparents and largely felt unloved due to the fact his parents had abandoned him on them. Furthermore, his grandparents were getting older and more sickly and Shuichi knew how much Kaito went through to help them, even if he’d always pretend the stress wasn’t getting to him.

Kaito wanted to explore a new world- a place where he could be free; a place where he didn’t feel the weight of the world on his shoulders; a place where he didn’t take it upon himself to save everyone else and decided to focus on what he needed.

Shuichi knew that going to space was what Kaito needed, but that didn’t make saying goodbye any easier.

Shuichi was already saved by Kaito and he knew he didn’t need him by his side permanently, but ever since his boyfriend had moved in the previous month, Shuichi realised he’d much rather have Kaito at his side than be without him for three entire months.

It was a short trip, he’d been informed, as short as space trips got, really. Shuichi knew that, but his heart still ached when he thought about the distance. It wasn’t the same as knowing the person was only a plane ride away- it was realising they could be an entire galaxy away.

Still, Kaito needed this, and the last thing Shuichi wanted to do was prevent him from fulfilling his lifelong dream just because of his selfishness.

“Are you scared?” Shuichi asked the night before the take-off day. Kaito shifted in the bed next to him, his hand splaying wider across Shuichi’s back from where he’d draped his arm across the smaller boy.

“Hm?” Kaito hummed in questioning.

“Of space,” Shuichi confirmed and in the darkness, he could make out Kaito’s face tilting up into a smirk.

“Why would I be afraid of the thing I want most?” he asked as if it was the simplest thing in the world. Maybe to Kaito, it was, but Shuichi didn’t necessarily think like that.

“I was scared of you for a while,” Shuichi pointed out. A frown contorted across Kaito’s face and Shuichi had to resist the urge to reach up and smoothen the furrow that had formed between his eyebrows with his thumb.

“You were?” Kaito asked in concern.

“Not really of you,” Shuichi corrected himself, “more of how I felt about you. Of how easy it would be for you to hurt me. It’s different, though, I guess. Space isn’t the same as loving an unknown entity.”

“Man, you’re too smart for me,” Kaito chuckled, the warm sound reverberating against Shuichi’s chest, “takes me a while to figure out what you’re trying to say.”

“Sorry,” Shuichi apologised sheepishly.

“You think I’d be able to hurt you easily, though?” Kaito asked.

“Maybe I’m not making much sense tonight,” Shuichi sighed, “I mean, I am terrified on your behalf, even if you’re not, but I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant that ever having to part from you would tear a hole in my universe. I don’t think I’d ever recover.”

“You’re super worried about tomorrow, aren’t ya?” Kaito smirked a bit and he lifted his hand up to Shuichi’s face to tuck a stray piece of navy hair behind his ear, “you’re my universe too, you know that? I’ve felt this tug in my gut to go to space ever since I was a little kid and I’m still dying to go now but-“ he paused for a moment and Shuichi found himself gazing into Kaito’s eyes. He always got lost in them when Kaito began to talk.

“But I think my pull’s changed. When I’m up there, I feel like my gut’s gonna be tugging me back to earth, like a much stronger force of gravity. And do you know why?” Kaito asked.

“Why?” Shuichi asked, but he already knew the answer as the blush began to spread its way across his cheeks.

“Because you’re my centre of gravity now, Shuichi. When I come back in three months, remember right here-“ Kaito said, placing a gentle finger over the left-hand side of Shuichi’s ribcage, “that it’s you I’m returning for.”

Shuichi’s eyes watered slightly as he smiled up at Kaito.

“You didn’t used to be this sappy,” he commented. Kaito snorted a laugh.

“You’ve ruined me, Shuichi Saihara,” he mocked complaint, planting a delicate kiss on the end of Shuichi’s nose that had his face scrunching up with a smile.

“I suppose there are worse things I could have done to you,” he replied.

Kaito sighed for a second before rolling onto his back, pulling Shuichi’s smaller frame with him from the inertia and causing Shuichi to find himself led half on Kaito’s front, still gazing up at the galaxies swirling in his eyes.

“I’m gonna take you to space someday,” Kaito promised, “and when I marry you, it’s gonna be at the Space Station.”

Shuichi almost choked on air. Kaito said such things so nonchalantly that it took a while for Shuichi to be able to calm his heartbeat afterwards.

“When?” Shuichi gasped. A look of wariness crossed Kaito’s face.

“Would you marry me?” he asked.

“Of course,” Shuichi spluttered, “you just shocked me a bit. I had no idea you wanted to.”

“What? Wouldn’t want to marry you? You know I love you, right? More than anything. Why wouldn’t I want to spend the rest of my life with you?” Kaito asked. Shuichi’s heart was still hammering hard in his chest.

“I suppose I never really thought about it all that much which seems a little bit stupid, now. I do want to marry you, Kaito. I love you, too,” Shuichi explained. Kaito chuckled again and Shuichi could feel the movement of his chest underneath him.

“Shuichi Momota. Or Kaito Saihara? Which do you prefer?” Kaito asked him.

“How about we hyphenate?” Shuichi suggested, wondering how this entire conversation had come about so suddenly.

“The Momota-Saiharas. I like the sound of that,” Kaito considered. Shuichi smiled and pressed in a little closer to his boyfriend’s chest.

“Me too,” he agreed, “shouldn’t you be trying to sleep, though?”

“Ah, I suppose you’re right,” Kaito sighed, rolling back onto his side again to face Shuichi and put both his arms around the smaller boy, “you know I’ll miss you, right?”

“Yes,” Shuichi breathed out, trying not to think too hard about it.

“But it’s only three months. We can do that, right?” Kaito asked. Shuichi nodded.

“We can,” he said. Kaito smiled and leaned forward, kissing Shuichi softly on the lips for a brief moment.

“Good,” he sighed, “goodnight, Shu.”

“Night, Kaito,” Shuichi agreed tiredly, burying his head in Kaito’s torso so that Kaito could rest his chin on top of Shuichi’s head, just as he liked to. The tip of his goatee tickled Shuichi a bit, but he’d grown to love the sensation.

It was only three months and Kaito was going to love space. Plus, with the promise of a proposal on his boyfriend’s return, Shuichi knew he’d be able to pass the time simply looking forward to his return.

They would both be okay. They had each other.

[commentaryvorg]

Danganronpa V3 Commentary: Part 2.5

Be aware that this is not a blind playthrough! This will contain spoilers for the entire game, regardless of the part of the game I’m commenting on. A major focus of this commentary is to talk about all of the hints and foreshadowing of events that are going to happen and facts that are going to be revealed in the future of the story. It is emphatically not intended for someone experiencing the game for their first time.

Last time, we had the first of many adorable training sessions as Shuichi and Kaito officially became friends (and Shuichi unofficially became Kaito’s sidekick, though there may be a tiny part of Kaito that’s confused as to why Shuichi even needs it), Himiko had been brainwashed by Angie and announced tomorrow’s magic show, and Kaito ate way too much breakfast, which might have something to do with the fact that he’s already sick.

Bonus scene time! Kaito shows up to the impromptu casino gathering, despite how stuffed he apparently is, to make his second terrible decision of the morning.

Kokichi:  “Why’re you here, Kaito? I thought you swore off gambling forever?”

How do you know that, Kokichi? You weren’t there when it happened, and there’s no way Kaito would have mentioned it to you.

Kaito:  “I didn’t come here to gamble! I just don’t understand why the instincts of Kaito Momota, Luminary of the Stars, were off!”

…So, in other words, you came here to gamble.

Kokichi:  “Kaito, it’s good to be confident, but not when you’re wrong about everything all the time.”

Much as Kokichi might not like to think so, Kaito is often right about a lot of things, which is partly why he’s able to be so confident. This, however, is not one of those things.

Kaito:  “Don’t you dare underestimate the instincts of Kaito Momota! I challenge you, Kokichi!”

Instincts don’t work on slot machines, you doofus.

Ryoma:  “He’s so easily manipulated…”

Ryoma here pointing out the fact that Kokichi has figured out it’s easy to get Kaito to do pretty much anything you want if you present it as a challenge.

I like how in the illustration as Kaito loses spectacularly and is being laughed at, Shuichi looks amused but also sympathetic. Friends don’t laugh at their friends’ misfortune! Even if they brought it upon themselves.

Meanwhile, Ryoma wins spectacularly.

Ryoma:  “I’ve just got a knack for it, I guess.”

Kaito:  “What, you mean you’re lucky? That’s just superstition!”

Says the guy who was convinced that “instincts” could help with this.

That said, I want to believe that Ryoma isn’t magically lucky. Magical luck superpowers were a thing in the other Danganronpa universe, but this is not the same universe and that concept is nonsensical enough that it shouldn’t be expected to also be a thing in this one.

Kiyo:  “Kotodama is a belief that words contain power that can influence reality itself. Speaking positive words leads to fortune, and negative words lead to misfortune.”

Interestingly, the Japanese term “kotodama” is also the term for Truth Bullets in Japanese.

Kiyo:  “When someone facing a challenge hears negative words, they might feel it is unlucky. That feeling of misfortune may then affect their focus or motivation, yes?”

I can buy that hearing certain words that influence their feelings can change the outcome when someone’s undergoing a mostly skill-based challenge, sure. In fact, that’s a lot of the reason why Kaito is always so motivational – if he helps people feel like they can make the impossible possible, then they’ll be more likely to actually be able to do so!

But this should still not apply to slot machines. Those are pure luck. (At least, as far as I’m aware?) Plus if we’re trying to claim here that being confident would positively affect performance at slot machines then that’s clearly not true, because look at Kaito.

Kiyo:  “Words are powerful. Truth or lies may both be fired as powerfully as a bullet from a gun.”

And there we go, throwing that reference out there even for the localisation. It’s a neat link to the theme of the game, that fiction can change reality – the idea that words can influence people’s feelings and therefore the outcome of events even if there’s no actual evidence behind those words. Since the Japanese term for Truth Bullets already meant something like that in the first place, maybe it’s no surprise they decided to theme this entire game around that concept.

Kaito:  “Hey, Ryoma… Didn’t you have any pre-game rituals or something?”

I appreciate this tiny moment of Kaito interacting with Ryoma normally and asking him something about tennis. He’s usually so busy being bothered by Ryoma’s weakness that he doesn’t get any chance to treat him like a regular person. Maybe it’s because Ryoma just won at something and isn’t showing any obvious signs of weakness here that Kaito’s able to forget about that for a bit.

I still think these slot machines are probably rigged against Kaito specifically, just to mess with him. And maybe also rigged in Ryoma’s favour, apparently.

Kaito:  “My skills are suited for the universe! That’s why they don’t work on gambling!”

Sure, let’s go with that, Kaito.

Shuichi:  (I took a very depressed Kaito back to his room, then returned to mine.)

I love how this matches with the line just after breakfast last time. Kaito’s status: now both stuffed and depressed. (And Shuichi is still a good friend.)

Shuichi:  (There has to be something I can do… Yes, I’m going to do something about this!)

Time to try prying Gonta away from Kokichi again, since they’re still sneaking around together!

(Also, Shuichi sounds amusingly like Kaito when he says it like that. I wonder if that’s deliberate.)

Kaito is in his room, lamenting his terrible choices.

Kaito:  “Uggghhh… How could I have eaten so much? It was pathetic of me…”

He doesn’t mention the gambling because that was an optional scene, but we can pretend he’s lamenting that, too.

Also, here’s further evidence that Kaito does not usually eat this much and his decision to do so was likely motivated by something specific. But if his lack of strength last night during training was because of his illness starting to affect him, then, yeah, eating way too much food would definitely just make things even worse. Good job, Kaito.

Ryoma:  “Your face looks more dependable… To not focus on the past… in a place like this… I don’t get it…”

It’s because of Kaito, Ryoma! It’s just a shame that Kaito won’t do the same for you.

Ryoma’s obviously stuck focusing on his past and the loved ones he lost even though he’s desperately trying to look to the future and find a new reason to live.

Angie and Himiko are both locked in the gym preparing for the magic show and are unavailable to hang out. Meanwhile, Tenko is standing in front of the gym, glaring at the door and repeating Himiko’s name.

I haven’t been mentioning it every time, but Maki has been in front of her lab the whole time, refusing to let anyone in or even to hang out. She is so, so terrified of anyone finding out her talent. During chapter 1, she was still happy to hang out with Kaede if asked and would talk about things that have nothing to do with her real talent, but here she’s not remotely open to even that. Having her lab opened up and being so starkly confronted with her identity and the fear of people finding out about it has made her too afraid to even talk to anyone in case that somehow ends up coming out.

(I mean obviously the real reason she won’t hang out now is that her FTEs with Shuichi are focused around her life as an assassin so we can’t do them before the reveal, but it still makes heartbreakingly much sense in character too.)

Kokichi and Gonta are both hanging out in Gonta’s lab. This is not a good sign. Let’s try to intervene. (It won’t work, but, shush.)

Gonta:  “Hey, Shuichi. Others gather at dining hall, right? Gonta think about going… but Kokichi say he wanna have strategy meeting with Gonta…”

Aww, of course Gonta still wanted to go and meet up with everyone at breakfast! Kokichi probably manipulated him out of it because he figured Gonta would be more likely to not go along with his plan if he spends time today being influenced by actually decent people.

Also, I’m amused that Kokichi called it a “strategy meeting” just like Kaito’s one in chapter 1. This one contains equally little strategising, since Kokichi has already come up with the plan on his own and is just going to manipulate Gonta into following it.

Kokichi:  “Hm? You want Gonta, Shuichi? I don’t mind, so go ahead and take him off my hands, okay?”

HE IS NOT AN OBJECT. Oh my god, that is so telling for how Kokichi really views him, at least on the surface. What a dick.

Gonta:  “D-Don’t talk like that! G-Gonta not property!”

At least Gonta realises that and stands up for himself. Dammit, stand up for yourself more and realise that Kokichi is just using you, Gonta!

Let’s pretend that Kokichi fucks off somewhere else while Shuichi and Gonta hang out, because it makes me uncomfortable to picture him still being in the room eavesdropping on their conversation. Especially given the content of this one in particular.

Gonta:  “There no bugs here, but Gonta enjoy Shuichi’s company!”

Uhhhh, we’re in Gonta’s lab right now. There are bugs. This is awkward.

Regardless, they start talking about Gonta’s forest family… and Gonta very apologetically admits that he was lying when he said they were wolves.

Gonta:  “Gentlemen don’t lie. Gonta know that. Gonta don’t wanna lie, but… But… Gonta have to lie… for forest family… Gonta very sorry!”

I think it’s neat how the game establishes with this that even someone as innocent and kind and earnest as Gonta will still lie, even outside of the situation where he becomes a murderer, if he has a good reason to.

Gonta:  “So, Gonta actually raised by… Reptites.

Shuichi:  “…I’m sorry?”

Gonta:  “Dinosaurs not go extinct… Dinosaurs become dinosaur people – Reptites. Reptites live alone, deep in forest… They raise Gonta.”

So I was already going to comment on how ridiculously unbelievable this is… and then I found out that this is specifically a reference to a race from Chrono Trigger, apparently? Which makes it even more completely unbelievable. Things like this just give all the more credence to the fact that everyone’s backstories were made up and written by someone who has their fingers in a few too many fandom pies.

Shuichi:  “Ah, then why lie about the wolves?”

Gonta:  “They told Gonta to keep secret. Said bad things happen if humans know. Reptites and humans fought long time ago. But Reptites lost, and humans become dominant species… And Reptites not wanna fight anymore.”

I don’t know how accurate this is to Chrono Trigger lore, but the important point is that Gonta had a very good reason to lie! He did it to protect his forest family!

Shuichi:  (This story is literally incredible. But this is Gonta… he wouldn’t make up this story.)

Shuichi is having trouble believing it, understandably, but is also quite right to assume that Gonta wouldn’t lie about something like this, especially after he already admitted to lying and said he’d tell the truth now. And of course Gonta doesn’t even realise how completely ridiculous this story seems, because it’s just the normal facts of life to him.

Gonta goes on to talk about some “strong guys” who came to the forest to fight him one day.

Gonta:  “Gonta shocked most by… man from India who breathe fire. And another man from Japan who charge Gonta with flying headbutt. Gonta also fight professional wrestler – Red Cyclone! Him so strong and cool!”

Shuichi: (…That *definitely* sounds like a video game.)

So, uh. Shuichi is right. These are all apparently Street Fighter references? Geez, Tsumugi, calm the heck down a bit when writing these characters’ backstories. What kind of crazy crossover universe are you implying exists here?

That said, though I know basically nothing about the Street Fighter games, Gonta for Street Fighter when??

Gonta:  “Gonta face all challengers… focus only on fighting… Do much growing that day… Gonta think now, he prolly coulda made friends with them.”

Of course Gonta would also think fighting can foster friendship! He’s not so good with words, after all.

Gonta thanks Shuichi for believing his story.

Gonta:  “Everyone else make fun of Gonta. Call Gonta liar.”

Shuichi:  (It is a suspicious story… but Gonta is a good person. He wasn’t being malicious.) “They were wrong to do that, Gonta. I know you wouldn’t lie just to trick people.”

Aww, people would be mean to Gonta about this story because of how ridiculous it sounds! Good thing Shuichi can tell that Gonta isn’t the sort of person who’d make something up for a petty reason and must be telling the truth (at least, what is the truth to him) despite how unbelievable it is. And it also says a lot about how much Gonta trusts Shuichi that he told him all this even though most people don’t believe him!

These stories of his are also, interestingly, an example of Gonta earnestly telling the truth about something that is actually not true, because Gonta’s memories are wrong and so he genuinely believes it to be the truth and is not lying even though his story is provably false. Which is what ends up happening in trial 4 as well.

Shuichi:  (There’s still some time left—)

No, there isn’t, Shuichi; can’t you hear that the music just stopped?

*ding-do-ding-do-ding-do-ding-do-ding-dong!*

Shuichi:  (Huh? I guess that’s Kaito, but…)

I love how Shuichi has figured out how to identify Kaito by doorbell enthusiasm now.

Also, it’s a small thing, but I like that Kaito went out of his way and risked getting caught by Gonta in order to warn Shuichi about him. They are friends.

Kaito:  “If we both make it out of this alive… Let’s train again.”

Geez, Kaito, you don’t say things like that in a killing game! Sure, he and Shuichi do both survive and train again many times, but damn, this sure is the narrative trying to make you think Kaito is super dead soon.

Gonta is already too far gone. We can assume this is happening at least a little while after our hangout with him, then. (This makes sense: if I’d instead hung out with for example Kaito, he then still finds time to help set up the tank for the magic show before being chased by Gonta now, so apparently there’s a chunk of time in between the FTE slot and now regardless. I guess Shuichi, introvert that he is, needs an hour or two to himself to wind down in between hangouts.)

While understandable, it is a little frustrating how all our FTE-ing with Gonta feels essentially non-canon right now. Shuichi would probably be having some kind of thought about how surely Gonta wouldn’t try and attack him because they’re friends, right? if the FTEs were able to be acknowledged.

Given what I recently learned about Gonta’s backstory, I would now also not be remotely surprised if Ryoma’s “Shukuchi Method” flash-step turns out to be a direct reference to some tennis anime.

Ryoma:  “By the way… I’m sorry. For saying something so uncool like ‘I’ve got no reason to live’.”

It’s interesting that Ryoma himself believes that feeling this way is “uncool” and something worth apologising for, despite that he’s been saying stuff along these lines the whole time. He knows he’s being weak and wants to find a way to get stronger! …If only Kaito could have heard this.

Gonta:  “Sorry, but… is for your own good!”

And by “for your own good”, Gonta means “you need to learn how good bugs are”, because Kokichi has been a manipulative asshole. This isn’t even about the motive videos to Gonta.

(This also won’t be the only time Gonta does something bad to everyone else because Kokichi has manipulated him into thinking it’s for their own good. Gah.)

Shuichi:  (And in this pitch-black world, I thought to myself… This is what it’s like… to die.)

Wow, Shuichi, that’s melodramatic of you. I guess he briefly assumed Gonta had murdered him before passing out? Ouch. That would be a very short and very heartbreaking trial.

Tenko:  “But Shuichi’s the only one who got knocked out.”

Keebo:  “Gonta apologized for that.”

At least Gonta did apologise, but it’s a shame he didn’t do so while Shuichi was awake to hear it.

Kokichi:  “As soon as I told him that everyone who hates bugs was trying to get rid of them… he started crying and said that he would get you guys to love bugs… or something like that.”

Aww, of course Gonta would get really upset by that! His poor bug friends! Kokichi is such an asshole. He’d already convinced Gonta that sharing the videos was a good idea – all he needed to do was get Gonta to bring everyone here for the sake of that, not to go and make him upset and angry for a completely unrelated reason. And, you know, if he’d done that, this viewing party might have worked, since there’d have been no lying involved that Keebo could later call him out on.

Tsumugi:  “You’re terrible… You tricked Gonta.”

Kokichi:  “Isn’t it great!? Only an evil supreme leader like me could do something so… eeeeeevil!”

By which Kokichi means that his concept of “evil” equates to “being as unnecessarily dickish as possible, because it’s ~fun~ fucking around with other people!”. He isn’t straight-up evil in that he enjoys people seriously suffering and dying like he claims later on in the story, but this much is true. There is still a certain level of suffering involved that Kokichi is enjoying here – everyone who’s uncomfortable with bugs being chased around by them for hours, and Gonta believing people want to hurt his beloved bug friends. It’s still not okay to get a kick out of that, even if it’s way way beneath the kind of suffering Monokuma is inflicting on them.

Kokichi:  “And I wanna see your videos, too, so I figured we could all binge-watch them together!”

…Except that he’s planning on watching them all himself as soon as he steals them without waiting to be with everyone else. He probably wants to do so so that he can know everyone’s secrets, be less likely to be surprised by someone secretly turning out to be a horrible person, and also just have more ammo for manipulating people. I wonder if he’s actually willing to show everyone his own video or is planning to somehow make an excuse to avoid that – he is very attached to his lie that his organisation is the supremest, evilest organisation ever, after all.

Kokichi:  “Umm… Everyone will know their motive and a killing will be more likely to happen? But I like playing on Mean difficulty.”

I wonder whose fault it is that Kokichi thinks of the hardest difficulty setting as being called “Mean”, hm, Tsumugi?

(Also, yes, he explicitly knows that showing the videos will make a murder more likely, and he’s doing it anyway.)

Kokichi:  “I wanna win this killing game! So I’m not gonna run from it, I’m gonna crush it!”

Kokichi is planning on “winning” the killing game, for his own definition of “win”, which means “beat Monokuma at his own game”. But I don’t know how he thinks getting everyone to see their videos and making a murder more likely is going to help with that.

Maybe part of the reason he does this is just that he gets so caught up in the massive lie he’s telling himself that he’s totally having fun with this, right? that he has to act in accordance with that or else he won’t be able to keep convincing himself that that’s how he feels.

Kokichi:  “If the thought of playing a death game doesn’t excite you, you’ll never win. Understand?”

Like he’s afraid that the moment he accepts that he hates this and is terrified of being killed, that’ll be what happens to him, so he has to keep up the lie. Newsflash, Kokichi: everyone else here is not having fun (with… a couple of exceptions), but none of them are automatically going to die just because of that.

Gonta:  “Thank you for waiting! Gonta bring Himiko and Angie!”

Gonta is so polite about having kidnapped everyone, oh my god.

It’s a little questionable why Gonta didn’t bring Kirumi just because Kirumi said she was busy.

Gonta:  “Sorry… Not even Gonta strong enough to overcome Kirumi…”

I guess Kirumi just has such an aura of hard-working responsibility that Gonta couldn’t bring himself to disturb her from the important magic show prepwork she was totally doing that definitely wasn’t setting up a murder.

Kokichi:  “I like bugs even more than you do, Gonta.”

If Kokichi was spewing lines like this earlier to get Gonta to agree, I’m surprised Gonta didn’t just get so excited that he immediately tried to have Kokichi meet some of his bug friends. That would’ve shut him up.

Keebo:  “It seems I must be the one to take care of this. With my talent, Kokichi, I will stop—”

Keebo gets interrupted here, but why doesn’t he just play the recording right now anyway? It’d save us all a lot of hassle and a lot of bugs.

Kokichi:  “Let’s see… it’s exactly 9 p.m. right now.”

Mentioning the exact time, yeah, that’s not going to turn out to be relevant to the murder that’s probably about to happen soon or anything.

Keebo:  “…We still have a chance when Kokichi comes back. That’s when I will take care of this. Everyone, please just endure it until then.”

…Why does Kokichi need to be there for you to play the recording, though? The point is to convince Gonta that he’s doing this for the wrong reasons and get him to stop. All we need to do is make him realise that Kokichi lied to him about us all hating bugs and that we all actually love bugs, really.

It’s a shame that Gonta’s idea of an “Insect Meet and Greet” is so over the top. One time I was at a natural history museum and there was a demonstrator there who had a praying mantis and was letting the visitors hold her if they wanted to while teaching them facts about mantises and answering their questions. That’s an Insect Meet and Greet! Gonta would be so good at that! He should just do that with all of his bug friends in turn, one by one, and it would be precious.

Still, I hope Tsumugi genuinely hates bugs and is regretting everything right now.

Kokichi:  “The bugs look really tired, and a gentleman knows how to do things in moderation, y’know?”

For once, Kokichi is right. The way Gonta went about this meet-and-greet really was not very gentlemanly.

Kokichi:  “So let’s start already.”

Gonta:  “…Start what?”

Gonta doesn’t even know that the motive videos were meant to be a part of this! Even though the whole time they were scheming together they were talking about that! Kokichi really did just decide to completely change tack and go about this in the most unnecessarily underhanded and cruel way possible instead of being even the slightest bit honest with Gonta.

This sure is a dramatic illustration with fancy flashy light effects for Keebo using a tape recorder.

Gonta:  “Kokichi… what you mean? You… not like bugs?”

Kokichi:  “…Maaan, now it’s boring.”

Really, Kokichi? Because I think you having your own assholery backfire on you is pretty entertaining, actually. Apparently things are only “fun” to Kokichi when he’s not the one on the receiving end.

Shuichi:  (After leaving the room, I could still hear the muffled buzzing and Kokichi screaming.)

It is very reassuring to know that Kokichi actually hates bugs too. He deserves that.

They’re assuming that Monodam will return each of the Kubs Pads back to the person who originally had them, but that shouldn’t be possible. They were mixed up completely randomly by mistake – Monodam shouldn’t know who had whose. If anything, he’ll just do it correctly this time and give everyone their own. Yet apparently he does somehow give them back mixed up exactly like they were before, since Ryoma is now going to go and get his from Maki?

Tsumugi:  “But out of all of them, we can probably trust that one, right?”

…Hm, though the fact that it is specifically Tsumugi who mentions Monodam’s trustworthiness makes it slightly more likely that she knows that Monodam has some kind of way of knowing where they should go. Or that she’s going to liase with him to make sure it gets done right. The Nanokumas at least should have caught who had whose.

Other question: How did Kokichi manage to sneak into the rooms of the handful of people who weren’t at the Meet and Greet and would have gone back to their own rooms to sleep? For example, Kaito states in the trial that he went back to his room once nighttime started, so Kokichi shouldn’t have been able to steal the video that he had. Also, Kirumi.

Shuichi:  (I just remembered, I wasn’t able to train with Kaito today. Ah, too bad. We can do it tomorrow night, though. It’s not like I’ll never see him again or anything.)

Shuichi, stop tempting fate! You and Kaito are both terrible at this! It’s a good thing Kaito is nowhere near as expendable as the narrative is currently trying to make him seem.

Shuichi:  (I collapsed onto the bed and quickly fell asleep.)

Apparently running away in terror from bugs for two hours is also a good way to get yourself exhausted enough to sleep easily without any intrusive thoughts.

---

[Next post]

[flutiebear]

My pal my bud here ya go: 💜☕👻😊🙋‍♂️👀💊🎈💭💘✏ any combination that pleases you my dude let's get wILD

OKAY so, I’ve already answered some of these, so I’ll do the ones I haven’t. Putting behind the read more to spare everyone’s dash.

💜- top 3 favorite lines

SO HARD. Here’s a few of my faves.

From A Fine Feathered Mess:

Kirkwall was still a shit hole, no doubt. But after ten years, it had become his shit hole. The clang and din of the bazaar; the tart taste of Corff’s finest; the dockside smell of rotten fish – it all had become part of the tapestry of his life, a habit he couldn’t seem to break. Carver was a fish out of water who’d forgotten how to swim. 

From Fair Child:

What a fool he’d been! He loved Merrill. He loved her. The knowledge coursed through Carver’s veins like electricity, like fire. He loved her. It was so obvious. How could he not have seen it before? He loved her. He’d always loved her, from the moment he saw her drive up to the estate in Garrett’s coupe, wreathed by sunlight like Andraste. No, he thought between gasps, it had begun long before that. He’d loved her when he found her wriggling out from under the Chrysler Aravel two years ago like a soot-covered ladybug. No, it had been before that too. He’d loved her the night before he’d shipped out for the Ferelden front, one clenched fist hovering before her door, debating whether he should knock, wondering if he even dared.

No. Before that. He could keep going back, and back, and back, but the truth was, he’d always loved her, ever since she was a girl and he was a boy, wide-eyed and scab-kneed, desperate to prove himself, to be noticed. To be seen.

And finally, from An Invincible Summer:

“Let’s raise a glass to the Luminary, Erik, you and me. And to those we’ve lost.“ [Serena] lifted her flute and pointedly waited until he had done the same. "And—” she took a delicate sip, “to those other us-es. May they rot in hell.”

👻- 2 or 3 sentences from something you haven’t posted yet

I searched high and low for something in the current WIP that wouldn’t give away the best punchlines. This is the best I can do:

You figure that it can’t actually hurt—or at least, it’s notsupposed to hurt—because peoplewouldn’t keep on doing it if it did. It’s probably supposed to feel good. Youhope.

But you’re also pretty sure that butts aren’t naturally thatwet, not unless something is really, reallywrong.

☺️- a line that made you feel a fluffy happiness

From The Mural:

And weirdly, you start to think about sailing; about how on the open water, a really big storm will sometimes linger on the horizon for a long time, days even, without ever coming any closer—until in a single instant it’s upon you, and then the clouds go black and the waves swell and you’re drowning in all directions at once. That’s exactly how you feel now. Like the sky has ripped open and swallowed you whole.

💁‍♀️- reader insert or OC? 

Is this because of the second-person POV thing? It’s totally because of that, isn’t it? LOL

Honestly, I don’t usually like to write either. Reader inserts always feel weird and slightly unsettling to me (yEAH I KNOW, but I maintain that 2nd-person POV is NOT the same as reader insert), and while I LOVE to read about other folks’ OCs, writing about my own feels creepy-crawly, like I’m posting my diary on reddit for all to see. But I’ve come around on it, a little. Terran’s a special case, I guess. I’m not sure why.

💊- what is something that you wish you knew before you started writing?

Sometimes you have to write an outline for no other reason than you must give yourself something to toss out the window, so that you can write what you need to write.

💭- any ideas for a possible wip?

Heh, very smooth there. Well, I’ve been toying around with various AU ideas (because lord knows I need yet another ongoing project). One I keep coming back to is a Eurovision AU – but I’m not convinced there’s another person on this planet who loves both Dragon Quest and Eurovision like I do, or who even knows what both are.

I’ve also thought a lot about random Jade/Hendrik one-shots that I’ll probably never get around to writing; and also perhaps a Zuko Alone style story detailing what Serena gets up to in the months before she re-unites with the party in Act 2. That last one, I think, probably has the highest chance of actually getting written. I love Serena.

✏️- favorite part about writing 

Editing. Yeah, I know that’s bizarre, but it’s true. WIth the written word, nobody can tell if you said it wrong the first time around, because you can always erase and start over until you got it right. I’ve always appreciated that.

[houseof-lamentation]

Her sibling is living in their hometown of Tokyo. Since he's still a highschooler, he's being taken care off by a aunt who used to live in another country, but came back at the right time because he and my MC had officially just lost their father, who was their last remaining parent (kinda cliché for a backstory I guess but he was the furthest you could call a father towards them so it's not THAT tragic). So while my MC Ari is living her life in the Devildom, he's growing and has a happy life with his aunt and friends. His sister visits him from time to time with the help of the demonic portals, and lied about having found roommates to live with in London haha.

She only tells the news to Mammon after insisted on the fact that she really didn't look well, and he eventually tells Lucifer because he's really worried, who informs the others before having a talk with Barbestos. The bros keep saying that it's cool Barb ended up saving her, otherwise well... they would have never met. But she still doesn't feel good enough, and after some convincing from Lu', she goes to have a talk with Barbatos. Their conversation is still a WIP in terms of what they say to each other, but he basically explains that her fate was and has always been to survive the accident, at least in this timeline. But he doesn't tell her about her other selves' fates for that matter.

And that fic is currently being worked on by me and a friend, who decided to shape some of the other characters that appear in it. So it's being written on one part, while a good chunk still remains in my head at the same time!

And I gotta say, that hand on the Bible AU sounds intriguing. What is it about? Also I'd love to hear about the brothers' adult lives!

-@luminari-mc

love this demon... barbestos,...

well i might be biased but i am happy barbatos saved her bc i happen to enjoy this story. im with the brothers on this one, it's a good thing. and what is funnier than being like "yeah my roommates are from london, that's why theyre absolute freaks with a backwards way of life". yeah that checks out. very good her brother doesnt have to get wrapped up in devildom stuff. that is just so much.

super super interesting to dive more into barbatos's powers like that!! this is very impressive lore and if youre ever willing to share what you've written, i'd love to read it!!

here's some about malachi and oren's adult lives:

(cw for premature death & a car crash)

once theyre out of the devildom, malachi reconnects with his mother, moira, and they end up being really close. he struggles with his faith more than he did prior to the devildom, but everything makes a lot more sense. he continues his relationship with mammon & oren continues his relationship with lucifer, it works out well for awhile!

oren becomes an author. his work is published as fiction and poetry, with all of this interesting ideas on faith and hell, and he ends up being good friends with his publisher. he doesnt try to reconnect with his father because joseph kind of sucks and i dont blame him

moira is not super surprised to hear her sons are both dating demons. when oren was really young, she actually summoned mammon for financial help multiple times, so her seeing mammon is like oh. it's you. and now youre dating my son. great.

malachi comes to terms with his bisexuality and he's a lot more comfortable and confident in himself. joseph doesnt find out he's dating a man until he sees mammon and malachi kiss at a party for one of oren's book releases and that puts a huge strain on their relationship and actually pushes them apart for a few years.

when oren is 27, he gets into a fatal car accident, where a truck reared out of its lane and into his. it was a big tragedy that ended up making headlines and caused his book sales to skyrocket, because nothing makes for book sales like a tragic death of the young author, and i think lucifer feels it. he tenses up and his whole body aches, his heart hurts, it feels like he got mangled but he's fine— doesnt take long for him to realise that oren was killed at that moment.

mammon comes up to the human realm to comfort malachi for a little while, and malachi and his dad end up becoming close again, but they'll never be as close as they were before the devildom

after oren's death, while lucifer is grieving, a soul finds its way to the house of lamentation. it gets guided back to where souls are meant to be, but it wanders back to the house like it was meant to be there. the second lucifer sees it, and he feels it, he knows it's oren. it's warm and familiar and he jumps through hoops and asks diavolo for favours— oren eventually becomes a demon, and he wakes up and he's back in the house of lamentation and he's back with lucifer and all he remembers is driving to his book signing.

they can't tell malachi for a little while. when they finally do, he feels much less alone and he's glad to be able to talk to oren again; he passes information on to oren's publisher and he gives messages to his mother and joseph, he even helps compile and publish oren's "lost works" which he actually just wrote as a demon in the devildom, but humans don't need to know that.

malachi becomes a professor of psychology and he ends up being this kooky and colourful professor who talks about his late brother like he's still alive and talks about sins like he's an expert on them. he even tells a few students he's actually been to hell and back, but no one believes him. he doesn't marry mammon, as much as he wants to, as much as they talk about it, and ends up being a bachelor his entire life. he dies in his own bed when he's in his 80s and wakes up in his room in the devildom looking like he's 30. chaos ensues. that's the demon stuff, which i won't get into right now

[yasbxxgie]

Spike Lee’s Malcolm X is one of the towering cinematic achievements of the 1990s. The dramatic retelling of the life and history of Malcolm X is Lee’s crown jewel and one of the most acclaimed performances of actor Denzel Washington’s career. Twenty-five years later, its subject matter is just as timely as ever. And the story of its making is particularly resonant in a time when black stories are being rolled out on the big and small screens at a rate that we haven’t seen since, well…25 years ago.

The film’s history is famously complicated. There had been talk of a film about the life of Malcolm X since the late 1960s, when producer Marvin Worth secured the movie rights to his autobiography from Malcolm’s widow Betty Shabazz and author Alex Haley. Worth recruited James Baldwin to pen a screenplay. The experience proved ultimately fruitless and frustrating for Baldwin. Malcolm’s associates were pressuring Baldwin to deliver their version of Malcolm’s story, while the movie producers wanted to see their version on the page. Struggling with his own emotional burnout in the wake of the assassination of Martin Luther King, Jr., Baldwin was finding it hard to get this script going.

Blacklisted screenwriter Arnold Perl was brought in to assist with the screenplay, which was overlong and lacked a clear ending—largely due to Baldwin’s concerns about the Nation of Islam. But Baldwin was chiefly frustrated by Columbia Pictures’ machinations; he felt the white filmmakers were all-too-eager to levy blame at the Nation of Islam for Malcolm’s death as a way of softening the racism he’d suffered at the hands of whites. Vowing to never repeat the experience, Baldwin ultimately departed the film in the early 1970s. He would release his version of the script as the book One Day When I Was Lost in 1972.

For almost twenty years, Warner Bros (who’d gotten the rights after Columbia dumped the project) attempted to revisit the Malcolm X screenplay. David Bradley, Charles Fuller and David Mamet were considered for revisions to the script. There was talk of Sidney Lumet directing, and Eddie Murphy and Richard Pryor were considered for principle roles. But nothing really materialized until Norman Jewison (In the Heat of the Night) was named as a likely director for the revamped project in the late 1980s. Spike Lee, a critical darling following acclaimed films like She’s Gotta Have It and School Daze, was particularly vocal in his criticism of a white director helming a film about the life of Malcolm X. A letter-writing campaign ensued against Jewison directing (Lee denied that he had anything to do with it.)

“I had problems with a white director directing this film,” Lee told the Los Angeles Times in 1992. “Unless you are black, you do not know what it means to be a black person in this country.”

The backlash against Jewison galvanized Lee’s campaign to direct the movie himself, noting that many affiliated with Malcolm wouldn’t have been comfortable sharing stories with white filmmakers.

“These people are very leery of opening up to white directors,” Lee also stated at the time. “Most black people are suspicious of white people and their motives. That's just reality.”

Lee’s bravado had become something of a hallmark for the director; he was now fully centered in the pop culture conversation following the success of 1989’s Do the Right Thing, and was being lauded as leader of a vanguard of new black filmmakers looking to stake their claim in cinema. Lee would be named director of the forthcoming film, but it wasn’t hailed as a victory for black filmmakers at the time. Quite the contrary, many elder civil rights leaders had a problem with Hollywood’s trendy new Negro filmmaker taking over the movie. One of the most vocal critics was Amiri Baraka, who felt that Spike would exploit the story of Malcolm X.

“We will not let Malcolm X’s life be trashed to make middle-class Negroes sleep easier,” Baraka famously said, criticizing Lee’s previous work as stereotypical. “People ask me, ‘Why you messing with Spike?’ Spike Lee is part of a retrograde movement in this country.”

Betty Shabazz served as a consultant to Lee on the movie and voiced her support for the director and expressed understanding of his critics. “Just because Spike Lee is doing a film, don’t mean he owns Malcolm,” Shabazz pointed out in the months prior to its release.

The pervading idea was that Spike Lee was going to make the Malcolm X movie that Hollywood wanted him to make. The apprehension was understandable, and after learning that Oscar-winner Denzel Washington would be playing the lead (he’d been cast by Jewison while he was still affiliated with the film), there seemed to be further evidence of Malcolm’s mainstreaming.

But the skepticism proved to be somewhat unfounded once the cameras started rolling. Lee brought a devotion and fervor to the project that led to clashes with Warner Bros. Most notably, his demand of a $33 million budget was reduced to $25 million as the studio balked at the idea of flying Washington and a crew to Mecca and Cairo to film scenes depicting Malcolm’s hajj. The studio wanted the scenes to be filmed in Arizona to cut costs; Lee stood his ground and the crew was able to film in The Holy City, becoming the first-ever non-documentary (and American film) to do so.

“What we really want to put out is what we feel is the true image of Malcolm because there have been so many misconceptions of what he stood for—Malcolm X hated white people, Malcolm X promoted violence, Malcolm X this, Malcolm X that.”

“A lot of people's perceptions [about Malcolm X)] came about by the media,” Lee said, adding that, “Malcolm X scared not only white people but many blacks of his generation as well.”

But the ballooning cost led to a clash between Lee and Completion Bond Company, which had assumed costs midway through production. The bond company declared that the movie would not be longer than 2 hours 15 minutes and explained that Warner Bros. would not provide any additional funding. Lee famously fought to finish the movie as he saw it; and money was donated by luminaries such as Prince, Oprah Winfrey, Michael Jordan, Magic Johnson, Janet Jackson, Duke Ellington School of the Arts founder Peggy Cooper Cafritz, and Lee himself.

The film would be released on Nov. 18, 1992. Spike Lee’s Malcolm X is a cinematic tour-de-force; a layered, gorgeous examination of a man’s complex and powerful life—with a towering performance from Denzel Washington, as well as Angela Bassett as Betty Shabazz and Delroy Lindo as Malcolm’s mentor in crime from his early days in Harlem. Lee’s typical heavy-handedness is decidedly muted in X; there’s a grace that belies his reverence for the material, even while opening the film with footage from the then-current and still-relevant Rodney King beating of 1991.

Lee famously urged students to skip school to see the movie upon its release; and drew heavy criticism when he said he only wanted to be interviewed by black media. Lee’s audaciousness has always been a gift and a curse, but in the tense aftermath of the L.A. riots and with an election year swirling, his approach seemed to amplify an ongoing conversation about race and racism that American still wrestles with 25 years later. And it definitely rankled people in high places.

The movie was famously snubbed at the 1993 Academy Awards. Washington received a nomination for Best Actor, but the film was not nominated for Best Picture nor was Lee for Best Director. Washington would lose Best Actor to Al Pacino for Scent of A Woman.

In fighting to make the film that he wanted to make—from his anti-Jewison campaign to his move to land outside funding—Lee upended the standard operating procedure Hollywood tended to exercise when making black films. Even when looking at some of the movies that have come in the years since X, it’s obvious that black period pieces are given limited room to be fully realized. Major studio biopics like Get on Up (about the life and career of James Brown) and 42 (about baseball legend Jackie Robinson) are rarely given the kind of funding that is granted to films such as Lincoln or Walk the Line. For X to be made the right way, it needed someone willing to fight against that. And in the end, the film was stronger for it—as was black filmmaking.

Even today, Malcolm X feels like the crescendo of sorts for the wave of black filmmaking that had come to the fore in the late 1980s/early 1990s. Beginning with Lee’s She’s Gotta Have It in 1986, a generation of rebel filmmakers that also included Keenan Ivory Wayans, John Singleton, Julie Dash, Reginald Hudlin, Robert Townsend, Matty Rich and the Hughes Brothers had redefined what it meant to tell black stories onscreen. Ambitious films like Jungle Fever and more modest successes like The Five Heartbeats had become standard-bearers of black cinema—some with mainstream co-signs and some without.

In Lee’s sprawling, ambitious biopic, filmgoers were given a black cinematic epic; it covers decades in the man’s life while also highlighting the black American experience from the ‘40s to the ‘60s. The great cultural awakening of black people over that same period of time is embodied in Malcolm’s life experiences—from rural and impoverished, to urban and disenfranchised, imprisonment and enlightenment. In the story of one man finding his purpose, Spike Lee gave us the story of a people finding their voice.