#and having your hopes of his mercy confirmed by his actions

[canadianno]

"All you saw was devotion"

Art under the cut

We loooove us some TCOLC au... I am so normal about the idea that the lamb can say yes or absolutely. I should write this scene out for the prologue... I think that's a good idea actually ....

(Tw: blood, implied decapitation, bones ?)

Explanation::

After each heartbreaking year of life spent praying to the lost God they were raised by, Lambert finds themselves standing infront of him, the opportunity of a second chance placed in their hands.

Who wouldn't say absolutely?

[maple-the-awesome]

Body Swap || Part 2/2

Part 1 ||

Pairings: Legend, Time, Twilight, Warrior x Reader

Overview: A wizard's spell leaves you both in a state of confusion, especially upon realizing you're no longer in your assigned bodies. No Wind for this one, so we'll just give him a cookie and spare him the trauma for today -.-/🍪 The other boys are at my mercy, though

Zelda Masterlist 💙Fandom Masterlist

Panic ensues nearly the second your situation becomes realized. Legend frantically tugs at his hair and clothing, hoping this to be some sort of illusion cast by that wizard, however his senses only confirm his fears: you've switched bodies.

You're him and he's you which probably shouldn't be as big of a deal as he makes it out to be considering how much worse this could've gone, after all, a greater enemy might've caused actual harm, yet that doesn't stop him from being upset.

Out of everyone this could've happened with - out of all nine of his traveling companions - why did this have to happen with you, the only girl in the group?! Nevermind that you're also his crush!

"I can't believe this..." He groans, picking at another strand of hair and holding it in front of his face. Alas, the color isn't the same as his usual faded pink, "Give me back my body!"

You whip your head around at Legend's demand, finding yourself mildly offended by it which is shown through the placement of your hands on your hips, "Don't you think I would if I could? Like it or not, I think we're stuck like this –"

"- Are you kidding me -?!"

"- Until the spell either wears off or we find a way to reserve it," You narrow your eyes when he interrupts. Standing, you dust yourself while he copies the action except with some added complaints and curses mumbled under his breath.

"I can't believe this. Of course, this is how my day would end. I can't ever catch a break, can I?! The others are never going to let this go. It's all we're going to hear about for the next week!"

"Geeze, I didn't know a day in my body would be so terrible for you."

Legend frowns, not intending to make you feel bad. It's not like you asked for any of this yourself. You’re equally as inconvenienced. It's just...reeeally weird and uncomfortable knowing that he's technically you right now. He's currently in the body of the girl he finds most attractive and sometimes daydreams about –

"I'm sure you're not having any more fun than I am. Let's just get out of here and find a solution as fast as possible, okay?" Legend hastily grabs your hand, intending on getting you both out of this dungeon before you can notice the redness to his cheeks (at least, he's sure he'd be blushing if in his own body right now. Is it even visible on your cheeks, though?), however almost as soon as he pulls, he's nearly thrown back against your unmoving weight.

Kill him now. He isn't used to not having his power bracelets.

"Did you...want me to follow you?"

"...Obviously..."

"Do you also want me to hold your hand so you don't get lost?" You give his hand a squeeze, all the while wearing a shit-eating grin that makes his face even warmer than before.

"...Forget it and fuck off," With that, he drops your hand and marches off, yet you aren't far behind, chasing after him while clearly having too much fun with his reaction.

"You know, this is usually the point when you ask me if I'm on my time of month! Is that your problem, Vet? You're already hormonal after just a few minutes in a girl's body?"

Has his laugh always been this obnoxious? Does he owe Warrior an apology?

"...Well, this is troublesome."

Your eye twitches after Time's calm 'evaluation' of the situation, "...'Troublesome'? You THINK?! You know, when I woke up this morning, I did not expect to end up becoming a sixty-year-old man -!"

"- Sixty? Is that how old you think I am?"

"Well, you act like it sometimes!" You defend, huffing at the end of your sentence before trying to rise onto your feet which still feel wobbly due to that wizard's spell. It takes you a second - and you almost tumble forward like a newborn giraffe, causing you to start swinging your arms around in a desperate attempt to regain balance - but eventually you do succeed in the basic human function called 'standing', "We need to find the Veteran. This is his stupid world, so I'm blaming him for this happening!"

Time, meanwhile, takes pity upon you by letting your previous comment slide. Unlike you, he easily gets to his feet as if ending up in someone else's body is an everyday occurrence for him. His new height is something you take immediate notice of, mentally noting how strange it is to be looking down at someone – let alone him – from so far up. Is this how it always feels for him? No wonder he took on the mantel of being the 'dad' of the group so quickly. You all probably look like literal children to him!

"Thank Hylia we camped close to the dungeon. The others should be getting ready for dinner at this point, so they'll all be in attendance to take joy in our misery," You smile sarcastically with a wave of your hand, however you only take a few steps forward before turning around and realizing that Time isn't following you. His face also looks rather...alarmed?

"...You okay there?"

He hums and gives you an awkward thumbs up, yet that doesn't change his expression any nor does he immediately move to follow you. He simply stands there, his face bright with embarrassment until he finally clears his throat, "I...think I might've had an accident?"

"An 'accident'...?" You scrunch your nose, needing a moment to understand what he could possibly mean. Did he just piss himself as you? You would've thought he'd have more self-control even if he isn’t technically himself. Sure, it might be scary opening your eyes to find yourself in someone else's body, but it's not that scary to warrant - ...Oooh...You get what he means now...

When the realization sinks in, you can feel your own face grow warm. You had forgotten all about that, "Oh shit. I, um...Yeah that's not – It's harmless, really. You'll be fine, it's just -...You know what, just don't worry about, okay? Let's focus on getting ourselves switched back around first. You, uh...gonna be okay dealing with it for now?"

Sympathy laces your voice, however it isn’t exactly strong enough to hide your embarrassment. Seriously, could this get anymore modifying? You weren't trying to think about the whole 'my-crush-is-currently-in-my-body' thing, but you definitely can't ignore it now! Out of all the days of the month this could happen - How embarrassing for you both!

Fortunately, Time, ever the brave gentlemen, nods, that be it slowly and unsurely, "If you can do it your whole life, I can manage for a day..."

"That's the spirit!" Please, please, please say Legend knows a solution for this because you will absolutely die if you have to talk Time through a 'change' of certain materials tonight.

“Oh no…”

“What do you mean by ‘oh no’? What happened? Are you hurt?” Twilight’s voice – which doesn’t really sound like his own – gets progressively more concerned by each question until he finally manages to escape the wall of smoke around him. Once finally receiving a clear view of his hands, he suddenly understands the meaning behind your less-than-thrilled expression.

“That’s what I mean by ‘oh no’,” You frown, watching as he flips his hands around front and back to confirm the notable difference he sees. It would be difficult to ignore how much smaller and smoother they’ve gotten…or to turn a blind eye to all the other major variations throughout the entirely of his body.

“Has anything like this happened to you before?” Whatever surprise you have towards your shared predicament is either quickly recovered from or masked well, because you don’t hesitate to pick yourself up and start collecting your fallen belongings – or rather Twilight’s – from the ground.

“Can’t say it has. I’m guessin’ you’re in the same boat?”

“Yeah, this is the first time I can knock ‘switching bodies’ off the bingo board,” You shake your head, pausing to watch him stand as well, “I know Wind mentioned being able to control other people’s bodies or something like that before. ‘not sure if it’s the same or if he’d know how to fix this.”

“Even if not, we’re in Legend’s world. He’d have to know some kind of solution,” Twilight sighs, going to place a hand on his hip out of habit, but he instantly decides against it in a quick movement he hopes wasn't too obviously. Even if he's consciously in this body, it's still yours. Touching his hip now would be no different from touching your hip any other time which is NOT a friendly place for hands to be! At least that's what his awkward brain tells him.

Trying not to dwell too much on any of that, he makes himself useful by plucking your dropped sword off the ground and returning it to your scabbard the same way you had done with his before reaching down to grab -

“- Don’t touch that!” You’re startled to a halt by Twilight’s sudden shout and turn to give him a puzzled look as he gulps while eyeing the shadow shard you were inches away from picking up next, “It, uh…It’s sharp.”

You narrow your eyes suspiciously at him, and for a second he’s worried he might just have to tackle you to prevent you from touching the object in question (which now that he’s considering it, would probably only be as effective as a sparrow attacking a horse seeing as you’ve switched bodies not to mention you’d only have more reason to question him in that case but -)

“- All you Links are such terrible liars,” You huff after a minute. Nevertheless, you step aside and allow Twilight to pick up the necklace himself. He’s careful to only touch the string and tuck it securely in a pocket because the very last thing he needs added to this day is you finding out one of his greatest secrets by literally becoming it yourself which would then undoubtably lead to his second greatest secret being discovered, after all, it's one thing for a random wolf to let you give him kisses free of charge, but there'll be a lot more to unravel there if you find out it's been your travel companion the whole time.

"Okay. Try not to panic. There has to be some way to reverse this - ARE YOU CHECKING ME OUT RIGHT NOW?!"

Warrior jumps with a start after having been caught, although he must not be too embarrassed because he doesn’t immediately remove his hands from their place on his hips nor does he show much shame in currently having his body turned at an angle to look at his – or more importantly – your back side, “What?! You do it to yourself all the time!”

"T-That’s not - When I'm in my own body!” You stammer, blushing at the realization that you apparently haven’t been as subtle with your habit of checking your own appearance here and there, “Excuse me if I don’t want to walk around looking like a mess with dirt and leaves stuck to my backside! I’m not over here looking at your dick!”

"I hardly think you can equate that to an ass," He deadpans.

"Well, I'm not looking at your ass, either, pervert!"

At last, something you say seems to get to him, your words causing Warrior to bow his head with a pout and that shared discomfort he should’ve had from the beginning, “I’m not a pervert. If it’s such a big deal, then you can come over here and fix the backside of this tunic. It’s riding up on me and it’s driving me crazy.”

You blink then glance around him to notice that your tunic is indeed all out of sorts, one end lifted and tucked in your belt. It must’ve gotten stuck that way during your fight with that wizard…Now you just feel like an idiot…

“…Oh.”

“Oh,” Warrior mocks with a roll of his eyes, not saying much else – perhaps out of pity - as he waits for you to help fix the tunic correctly, although truthfully he’s just busy redirecting his eyes and cursing himself internally for not having explained the situation from the start. He maybe-kinda spaced the fact that he’s currently in your body and didn’t consider the implications of what it would look like for you to see him fussing over your back end. How were you to know he was simply fixing your tunic? He really did probably look like a massive pervert.

“There,” You finally step away.

“Thanks,” He coughs into his fist awkwardly with his opposite hand rubbing the back of his neck. Even in a different body, he carries the same nervous habits, “Uh, sorry. I didn’t mean to –“

“- No. No, you’re fine. I, uh, should’ve had more trust in you," You mumble, running a hand over your hot face before shaking your head. You need to get it together, "Come on. Let's just get out of here and find a way to fix this before any other misunderstandings can happen."

Warrior nod and follows after you out of the dungeon without another word to be said. He won't say it aloud - He refuses to even admit it to himself because he's supposed to be a gentleman and what if you've suddenly become a mind reader?...But if you were to for some reason ask his opinion, you do in fact have a fine ass.

[seungsuki]

idol - learning what real love is about (gn!reader)

warning: none

note: i don’t think you understand how much i like karma 

paparazzi swarm the idol who leaves the airport hoping to be left alone. a mask covers your exhaustion, and your legs almost give way. “the flawless star who greedily steals hearts”—a title the news loves to use as clickbait.

you returned to japan from your trip to germany. being an influential figure, you were invited to watch a match between a german team and a french team. coming back home, you realized how cold it was. christmas decorations covered the entire country. it was his birthday, and you looked forward to celebrating it.

you whispered to your manager about the cake you preordered. with the confirmation, you sighed in relief, bracing yourself for the huge crowd awaiting you beyond the airport gates. you knew the poor doors couldn’t hold back the crazy fans.

the security team surrounded you without you even asking. it was something you were accustomed to. the tired men were there to protect japan’s snow fairy. it was their extra duty, and you pitied them for having to work despite it being a holiday.

“[name], we’re ready,” one of the men spoke.

“alright. thank you,” you pulled your mask down to flash a tired smile.

just like that, you linked your arm to your manager for support. you knew how the pushing around would make you fall. your legs were at the mercy of the icy winds of japan. cursing your choice of outfit, you finally walked out of the protected gates. it was going to be challenging to reach the car, but you were determined. or maybe that was your poor attempt to gaslight yourself into making the situation less tiring.

you are surrounded by thousands of eyes that obsessively follow your every movement. how you just want to collapse on your bed after the long flight, but you can’t. it was already challenging to leave the airport in one piece. the gaslighting was of no use as your anxiety spiked and your sweaty palms nearly dropped your phone.

no one cares about your well-being. they were too busy pushing the security team to pass you gifts. letters were thrown around and stepped upon. the security team pushed everyone that came in their way. you could see some of your fans fall flat with tears.

your headphones blocked the screaming of your name. you increased the volume of the song you were listening to in hopes of drowning out your sudden feeling of claustrophobia. you hated crowds and often asked your fans not to disturb your peace, but it was a waste of time. your fans acted more like toddlers, throwing death threats and accusing you of not loving them enough.

apparently, you were supposed to be grateful for them showing up. oh, how you have to keep the millions of thoughts swarming your mind when you read those comments. it was always what the world wanted, not what you wanted, and you were supposed to just smile and wave. you knew that the media would twist your actions right now. you weren’t interacting with anyone, eyes glued to the ground so you wouldn’t fall. you knew that people would call you out, but you were tired. tired of everything life threw at you.

finally, you made it into the car your company had prepared. you caught the breath you had been holding in. beside you sat a pile of letters and expensive gifts your fans had thrown at you without a care. you didn’t blame them; anyone would love to be near their idol. what you didn’t like was the idea of your personal space being snatched away against your will.

picking up your phone, you looked down to see the time. it was time for school, a thought that made you internally groan. the lack of sleep was kicking in, and you could feel yourself becoming overwhelmed and agitated. you couldn’t change into your uniform as time was ticking faster than you could imagine.

lost in your thoughts, you were brought back to reality by notifications from your phone. specifically, a familiar ringtone different from your other notifications. you kept it different for him and him alone—your secret lover, karma akabane.

karma >:) coming to class?

the only person who ever saw you as human. your personal cheerleader who you only kept your eyes on. karma loved you even before your entire idol career. now, with a heavy responsibility on your shoulders, it was difficult to see each other. sometimes you wonder why he still stuck with you. he deserved better… so much better.

karma >:) i know you saw my message don’t ignore me i’ll smash your guitar

you laugh—a genuine laugh that hasn’t come out in a long time. he always knows how to make you happy. the guilt eats at you even more. he gave you his heart, and you know he deserves better… but you want to be greedy.

“the flawless star who greedily steals hearts,” you mumble to yourself, seeing the article pop up on your screen.

can you be greedy? you want to be greedy for karma’s love. in his opinion, you should be greedy for more. it feels wrong. you are an idol. japan’s prodigy, shining brightly under the applause of the audience.

you always fake your love for the world, faking the perfect smile as people gush over the genius idol. meeting karma was different. you learned true love for the first time. the cosmic light reborn, finally finding love.

you know what would happen if the media found out. they would eat you alive and never let you live the life you want. it feels wrong, but you want more. you want to love karma until he gets sick of it. he needs to know just how much you love him, even if it is wrong.

your secret love story is kept hidden from the prying eyes of the world. you can already imagine the maniacal smiles of the media, ready to do anything to get the hottest gossip about you, but you don’t care anymore.

you want karma to know how much you love him. he needs to know that this isn’t one-sided, even if it means you would get in trouble from your management

official_[name} has just posted!

© seungsuki 2024-25 -- do not repost, translate, alter, etc on any platform without permission. Any characters used in my work do not belong to me, they are created by their original creator. images used are from pinterest and i do not claim them as mine

[angelizs]

Hi hi I read your rules and I couldn't see if you were doing reqs or not so if your not just ignore this! :] /gen

Could I perhaps ask something with Leona or Ruggie? Reader is just very tired from NRC's usual craziness and wants to go to one of them as a recharge.

Gn!reader please and thank you :))

hiii nonie!! sorry for the long wait 😭 as mentioned in this other request, I do take them, it just takes me a while to get to it! I hope you like it 🫶

Summary: Leona and Ruggie with a tired reader that wants to recharge!

Notes: gn!reader, fluff, I did short scenarios since there wasn't a specified format, I guess their relationship is kind open to interpretation? they could either be dating or close friends, you chose!

You were exhausted. Seriously, after having to deal with NRC students' antics for days on end, babysit Grim, Ace and Deuce, do Crowley's chores and study for subjects you've never even heard of some months ago, you felt like you were at your wits end.

Leona

Eyes dropping and body tired, you just wanted to rest for a bit, maybe take a nap to recharge your energy. You really felt like you were about to drop on spot if you had to do one more thing without getting some sleep in first. 

That's why you found yourself at the botanical garden in the middle of the day. After leaving Grim with your friends and trusting them to take care of him (may the Sevens have mercy on NRC), you've wandered to a place you knew would be quiet enough that nobody would disturb you.

Not only that, but you were also looking for someone. Scanning the temperate zone, you perk up a bit once you spot the figure of Savanaclaw's housewarden lazily dozing off on a sunny spot.

Quick steps approach him, stopping in their tracks once you're right in front of him. You kneel down, waiting for his deep rumble as he lazily opens one eye to peek at you

"It's you, herbivore. What do you want?"

His blunt words may sound rude, but you knew he didn't mean any harm by it. Instead of answering him, you silently worm your way into his arms, nuzzling your face against his neck. 

If it where anyone else, they would have been sent to the infirmary in the blink of an eye, although no one else had the courage to do what you just did. Since it is you, Leona only lets out an amused chuckle and wraps his arms around your body, head resting on the top of yours. 

"The brats are giving you trouble, hm?" 

Your groan is confirmation enough for him, making him let out a huff of laughter. 

"Then lets forget them for now. You can stay as long as you don't stir too much, I want to be able to sleep too, you know."

A prolonged hum is his only answer, your drowsiness taking over as your eyelids feel heavier and heavier. The warmth of his body, the comfort of his arms securing you, the smell of his faint cologne and the nature around you, the sound of his calm breathing and the little river running nearby, the feeling of being safe all allowed you to relax for the first time in weeks.

In less than a minute you were already sleeping, little huffs of breath ghosting over his skin, the rise and fall of your chest accompanying his own. Leona's tail swished from side to side, pleased with your company, even if he wouldn't admit to it. 

He wouldn't let anyone disturb your sleep, enjoying this moment between the two of you for as long as he could. If you end up waking up hours later than you intended to, he'll just shrug and tell you he was sleeping too. Besides, you needed the extra rest, so you better thank him. 

Leona isn't the best with words of comfort, hence his actions will speak louder. He tends to pay attention to you, more than you'd think, so if he sees you're getting too tired again, he might subtly suggest another nap. He'll make sure you'll be able to get all the rest you might need, as nobody would dare to disturb him and, by extension, you.

Ruggie

Your shoulders sagged and you dragged your feet through the floor, the fatigue catching up to you after a handful of stressful days. All the responsabilities that were throw your way and your concern of whether you'd be able to go back to your home, your world, were taking their toll on you. 

The thing you needed the most was somewhere to rest, both your mind and body. You've been wanting to spend some time with Ruggie, as you two were very close and you guessed he also could take a break, but he's always busy, running errands for Leona and taking on side jobs.

You sigh dejectedly as you open the door of Ramshackle, preparing yourself to try to actually get some hours of sleep instead of tossing and turning around the bed, mulling over your troubles.

"Welcome!" 

Jumping in surprise, you lift your head to see Ruggie laughing at your reaction, his giggles making his shoulders shake in mirth, tail swishing back and forth.

"Oh, you had to see your face! Weren't you expecting to see me here?"

You stutter something, so jumbled not even you could understand, and he only laughs harder, hand covering his mouth in a signature gesture.

"Sorry, sorry, I couldn't resist it. You looked so cute, like a scared rabbit." It's clear he isn't sorry at all, the grin on his face being proof enough. Though you don't get mad at his antics. In fact, they even made you feel a bit better, a small smile gracing your face in return as you gently shake your head

Gesturing to the couch, you make yourselves comfortable. Leaning onto Ruggie, you let the weight of your preoccupations wash away from you, focusing on how the touch of his side against yours feels grounding, how his arm wrapped around you and hand rubbing circles on your skin feels soothing, how you're finally able to relax.

"Sorry, I know I've been too busy lately, but you know I'll always find time for you, right?" Gazing at him, you can tell he's genuine this time, the sincerity in his tone and expression reassuring you. You nod and let out a hum, closing your eyes and letting your head rest against his shoulder. 

Ruggie laughes affectionately, head resting against yours. One of your hands finds his hair and starts playing with it, you mumble a request: "Tell me about your day."

Ruggie's voice is quiet as he tells you what happened in his classes that day, what ridiculous tasks Leona had given him, what trouble the Savanaclaw students got into, and so on. His voice lulls you into relaxation, your breath slowing.

Soon enough, both are making use of this moment of quietness and peace in your usual hectic lives, recharging your energies.

As someone who tends to overwork himself as well, Ruggie knows how to recognize when you're in need for a break. If he notices more prominent eyebags or sluggish movements coming from you, he'll do his best to make sure you can relax for a moment and reassure your worries. You do the same for him, after all, you take care of each other.

Masterlist

[multific]

Second Chance

K'uk'ulkan x Reader

How do you hide a pregnancy from a god?

How do you hide a child from their father?

But most of all, how do you tell him?

When you refused to participate in the fight against Wakanda, he made you leave, exiled you from your home and told you that if you ever enter the ocean he would be there to kill you. He would show you no mercy.

He didn't know back then, but you were with child. It was the reason you refused to fight. It was your first ever child, finally, your gods gifted you a child after being married to your husband for so long.

And he didn't even know.

"I will not fight against Wakanda."

"You know what that would mean, My Wife?" you looked at him, confused. "It would mean you will be no longer the Queen of Talokan, as Queen it is your duty to protect your people. You are one of the best warriors."

"I will not fight."

"Then you shall leave my castle! My cave and MY ocean! You do not deserve your title, and if you ever even touch the water, I'll be there to kill you, and do not think that because of our past, I'd show mercy! You betrayed your people! You betrayed me!"

Back then, it was s suspicion of yours. Unable to confirm it with your healers before he sent you away. His eyes filled with hatred and anger.

It wasn't the man you married, the man you loved. This was Namor.

And now, here you were, living in Wakanda as the new Queen was willing to have you in her home. She confirmed your suspicion after the fight, you were indeed with child.

This was all months ago. And now, into your fifth month, you finally felt ready to face the man who broke your heart.

Wearing a light gown but a robe on top of it, hiding your child from their father as you touched the water.

For the last months, you never once entered the waters. Only staying in a tub of water to relieve your thirst as you could live longer without water.

As soon as you touched the water, you knew. He was on his way. You hoped he was calm, you hoped he had time to think. You just stood there, waiting in the knee-deep water.

Couple of moments later, you saw him emerge, with his spear in his hands. Damn him and how amazing he looked. Damn him and how much you loved him. He spoke in your native tongue.

"I told you to never enter the waters again! It was my warning. I will not hesitate to kill you just because once you were my wife."

And yet, he was hesitating.

"I came so you can meet someone." you reached for your robe when he stood in front of you, looking into your eyes, all you could see in his was anger.

"I do not wish to meet anyone. You betrayed me. You refused to fight to protect our nation."

"I had my reason."

"Your reason was that you are a coward." you untied your robe when his spear touched your skin, the sharp edge almost cutting your skin. "Don't make me kill you, leave the water." he whispered.

"I came so you can meet your child." you said as you dropped the robe, letting it fall into the water as you tugged on your dress, showing him the baby bump. "It is a girl. Shuri confirmed it. She is healthy, and often moves around as I feel her kick my ribs." you watched him, tried to read him as his eyes were glued to your belly.

"You-"

"She is the reason why I refused to fight. I suspected I was pregnant and I couldn't risk it. As much as I love the people of Talokan, we have been praying so hard for a baby." you saw him tumble, almost falling to his knees as you started to take steps backwards. He followed you, never once taking his eyes off.

"My Love..."

"Your hate consumed you, Namor. Your hate pushed me away. If you continue with this, you will lose her as well."

"You would take my child from me?"

"Your actions would take her from you."

"How far along are you?"

"I'm almost six months." he finally fell, landing in the water he looked at you with pleading eyes. No more anger.

"My Love, I'm so so sorry. I know an apology wouldn't be enough to make up for my mistake."

"Apologise to your daughter. You know very well, I am a fool who would forgive you even if you kill me. I love you too much." you moved to sit down in front of him in the sand. Letting his arms go around you as he hugged you close, one of his palms on your bump as you felt your baby move.

"My Little One, I deeply apologise for being so harsh. My hatred truly blinded me. I hope one day you will be able to forgive me as well. Your mother is too good for me." he placed a kiss on your belly, right over your thin dress. "Return home My Love. I truly believe I don't deserve a second chance. But I wish to make everything right. I want my daughter to be born where I can be present."

"I wish to go back, but if this happens again, I-"

"It will not. I promise." and now you saw in his eyes, hope, love and determination.

Taglist: @fleursirvart​​ @greenarrowhead​​ @thisismysecrethappyplace​​ @sincerelyfan​​ @theoneanna​​ @aestheticsandmarvel​​ @rororo06​​ @castellandiangelo​​ @destynelseclipsa​​ @spilledinkindumpster​​ @capsiclesdoll​​ @puknow​​ @alwayshave-faith​​ @alex12948​​ @lxdyred​​  @imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl​​ @anonymoussherlockandmarvelgeek​​ @praline357​​ @trshngyn​​ @avengers-r-us​​ @violet-19999​​ @top1bbgloak​​  @manduse​​​  @jacalineiscomingforyou​​  

~Masterlist~

ˇAO3ˇ

DO NOT STEAL, PLAGIARIZE, REPOST OR TRANSLATE ANY OF MY WORKS  

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: '23 Bonnie & Clyde {One Shot}***

Title: 23 Bonnie & Clyde ***

Den Of Thieves Ray Merrimen x OFC Aria

Warnings: Action, Blood, Violence, Heavy Cursing, 18+ Mature Content, Gun Violence, Crime, Angst, Smut, Rough Sexual Activity, Glove Free Lovin, Plenty of Words

Words: 15,575k

Summary: Picks up with Ray being pinned down by Nick and his team after the heist. With his team dead and 2 bullets making it hard to go on, Ray believes his ticket’s been punched. Unexpectedly, an angel swoops in to save the day. However, is she an angel of mercy or heartbreak?

Note: @waterfallsandsunsets As my first accepted commissioned fic, I hope you enjoy this, and I hope it meets your expectations. I want to thank you for requesting this and even more for wanting to pay for a story from me. From the bottom of my heart, thank you!

Note II: Ray Merrimen and Pablo girlies I hope you enjoy this.

***Very Loosely Edited***

~~~~~~~~~~

-Ray-

Around him, he could hear the echoing of the heavy gunfire he was currently in the middle of. It sounded like he was in a hollowed tunnel making it easy to hear every sound. The crunching of footsteps that were attempting to stealthily creep toward him, failing miserably by his military training standards, the zing, and whizz of every missed bullet, the painful beat of his heart that was slowing with every minute.

A strong pang of pain gripped him making him curse out. He clapped his hand over his chest and grimaced. He didn't know how he would make it out of this one. All his life he'd lived by the gun and knew he'd die by it too but somehow he didn't expect it now. He thought he'd be old and grey before that bullet with his name on it punched his ticket.

He slid his hand lower just underneath his heart and felt wetness there. When he raised his fingers to his face the crimson liquid that coated his fingers confirmed it. A heavy sigh escaped his lips as he dropped his head back to look into the sky. It was yet another beautiful California day. He knew it was a hot one but couldn’t quite feel the warmth of the sun anymore. A shiver rushed through him then he heard his name.

“Merrimen, it doesn’t have to be like this. You’ve got nowhere to go. Come out with your hands up!”

He scoffed. That son of a bitch, he thought. If he really expected him to come out and surrender he hadn’t read his file properly.

“Never surrender,” he mumbled feeling the drowsiness trying to overtake him.

Shaking it off, he wiped his hands dry then gripped his weapon. Checking the chamber, he realized his clip was empty. With slow, painful movement he dug into his vest searching for his ammo but found none.

“Sh—shit!”

He was truly fucked. Either he was going to be cuffed and saved at the hospital then sent back or he would die a free man, right here, right now. It only took him a few moments to make his mind up. He meant every word he’d said a week ago. He was never going back to prison. He took several breaths trying to psych himself up for the next round of pain he would feel. No man wanted to face death but he’d long prepared for his death. He didn’t fear it.

Suddenly, her face popped into his mind making him freeze. He’d often thought of her. Every night her face somehow wandered in through the slips of his mental blocks, the ones he’d purposely put up in heavy efforts to not think about her. In those wee hours of the morning, while he laid in his bunk surrounded by other men in their 9 by 5 cells doing the same, he’d think about her. Since his release from prison, he’d thought of her more and more as people, places and things often brought back memories, good and bad.

He heard the thud of footsteps creeping up on his right and they brought him back to reality. Pretty soon he’d stop thinking about her completely. Maybe in death, he could finally get peace.

“Nut up!”

He rose to his feet then turned to where he knew that Detective Nick was waiting. He came face to face with the man aiming his weapon right at him.

“Don’t do it Merrimen!”

He waited.

“We can end this peacefully. It doesn’t have to end this way.”

His vision blurred and his heartbeat slowed. “I told you—I’m not going back.”

The man across the way clenched his jaw and he almost saw a look of disappointment across his features, but he didn’t wait. He raised his empty gun knowing he’d take the shot, truly ending this.

“Don’t!”

Suddenly, rapid gunfire rained around him sending the man jumping to seek cover while he dropped back. Chaos reigned around him in the form of three white vans rolling up creating a “U” shape shield around him. His mind recognized it as an operational defensive tactic, one he’d done in his years of service. Again, his eyes went blurry as his heart slowed. Gripping his chest, he focused on the sky trying to get himself in control so he could make sense of the situation and defend himself if needed.

“Secure the perimeter. We’re out of here in one minute!”

The voice was garbled like he was underwater, and they were above it. He grabbed his gun and pointed it forward making contact with a chest. The figure above him was masked with only their eyes revealed.

“I got you. ‘Till the end imma ride wit’ you.”

Recognition flamed in his head. He’d heard those words before. He’d said those words before. Only one other person in the world would ever utter them. He froze but before he could move again, he lost consciousness with those eyes being the last thing he saw.

~~~~~~~~

-Aria-

“What a fucking mess!”

Milla was pissed. One thing she hated was a sloppy op and what Ray had found himself in the middle of was a sloppy op.

“From the stories about this guy never thought he’d be part of something like this.”

“Shit went sideways,” Jada replied.

“Hey! Fucking focus on getting us the fuck out of LA and to the fucking jet!”

If Milla was pissed, you were downright seething. She was right, it was a sloppy op and shit had gone sideways. Fuck they went way past sideways. You made a mental note that you’d find Donnie’s ass and put two bullets through his skull for this bullshit.

“Apply more pressure!”

You, Uki, Keturah, and Lyn were each pressing on each bullet wound in an attempt to slow the bleeding. Your efforts seemed pointless as his blood poured out of him like a calcified showerhead.

It was a good thing you got there when you had. As you pushed harder on his chest, you stared into his face. You didn’t know how it was possible, but he looked the same given some wrinkles here and there. His face was the same but weathered, aged to that of a grown man. Your heart beat painfully thinking of how serious his condition currently was.

“Aria, I don’t know if he’ll make it,” Uki announced.

Your eyes snapped to her and in the same second that they made contact, she looked down.

“I’m just saying. His vitals are not good,” you mumbled not wanting to be the bearer of bad news.

“He’ll make it!”

The entire van went quiet. You hadn’t meant to scream at her, so you took a breath and looked back to Ray, and repeated your words in a calmer voice.

“He’ll make it. He’s lived through worse.”

The remainder of the drive passed in near silence. Except for updates from the other vans and checking in to confirm perfect execution of your plan and distraction no one else said anything that wasn’t mission specific. You split your focus between the next steps of the plan and keeping Ray alive. You’d estimated that the drive to the airfield would take 40 minutes and in those 40 minutes, he’d flatlined twice. You were glad that you were the type of person to bet on things going wrong. It was that foresight that found a mini hospital in every van.

With Uki’s help, you managed to bring Ray back every time he flat-lined with the aid of adrenaline and a defibrillator. Each time took longer but you refused to give up. It wasn’t his time; you’d make damn sure of it.

“Offload,” Keturah shouted as the van rolled to a stop.

Everyone sprang into action, tackling their tasks. Milla and Keturah handled stripping the van, and Lyn took care of erasing every bit of artillery so there would be not even a serial number left on anything left behind. You, Jada, and Uki lifted Ray to the waiting jet.

“Fuck he’s heavy!”

He sure was and from the looks of him, it was pure muscle. Prison had changed him. The two men in the jet hurried to help load him in.

“Let’s go. 40 seconds!”

Just then, the van went up in flames. As if that was the signal, all your femme fetales assembled and boarded the jet. Within a minute you were taking off. As the jet gained altitude the van on the ground exploded leaving flames, shards, and nothing else in your wake.

~~~~~~~

-That Night-

All was quiet, which was what you expected. This was your compound in Mexico, and it was heavily guarded. Only those who needed to know knew about it. You watched as the doctor finished his examination of your hurried work in the van and the jet. You’d had more than enough experience patching yourself and others up to know your work was sufficient, but you wanted to make sure you got all the shards out. You didn’t go through all this to have a bullet fragment sneak to his heart.

You sat on the window seat then continued tapping your combat boot-clad feet. The sound echoed in the room as dull thuds for several minutes before you sprang to your feet again to pace the room some more.

“You’ve never been anxious like this with anyone else,” Manolo said his voice filled with certainty. “Losing faith in my skill?”

“No. He’s just--not—anyone.”

He looked back at you and studied your face for a few moments then turned back to a still unconscious Ray. Manolo nodded then stood.

“Well, I think you turned a pretty horrible situation into a bad one, which is an improvement and impressive.”

“Will he make it?”

Manolo sighed and took his time before he spoke. The seconds that stretched only made you more anxious. You were milliseconds away from snapping at the man, but his voice stopped your outburst.

“It’s hard to say. His injuries are extensive. From what I can see you’ve got all the bullets and I don’t see any fragments so that’s good news, but I’ve seen men die from injuries less severe than these. It’s a miracle he is still alive.”

“What—what does that mean Manolo?!”

Your frustrations were getting the better of you now.

“I know you want a guarantee, but I can’t give one. If he—if he can make it the next 72 hours then I say his chances are very good but--.”

He took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. His grey-speckled hair was coiffed in an effortless style that framed his face and showcased the wrinkles he'd acquired from years of work and little sleep. He and your father were good friends and one on the very short list of people he trusted, which meant you trusted him too.

“The next 72 hours I expect to be touch and go.”

You sighed and then looked at Ray. It wasn’t a death sentence, but it wasn’t a glowing bill of health. There was hope at least.

“Thank you, Manolo,”

He nodded then looked back to Ray. “I will stay close tonight in case you need me again.”

You nodded and watched him pack his things up to then exit the room. For the first time since you'd laid eyes on him, you were alone together. Half of you was relieved he was unconscious so you didn't have to talk but the other half wanted more than anything for him to wake up even if it spelled trouble for you.

You stood across the room for so long that the bottoms of your feet burned. It had been a long day and even longer 48 hours in prep for his extraction. Your body was exhausted, but sleep wasn’t an option. There was no way you could sleep now. Slowly you walked to his bedside never taking your eyes off of his face. you trailed over every detail of his face. Every wrinkle, every mole, every hair, everything that you’d missed out on. Your body buzzed to get closer, palms itched to touch him. The urges were so powerful that the exhaustion in your body was so strong that you gave in.

Sitting at the edge of the bed you slowly reached your hand to his full beard however when you were centimeters from touching him your hand stopped. Fear stilled your actions dousing whatever urges you had moments before. Looking lower at his torso, you decided to clean him instead of putting yourself in a position where things would quickly escalate.

As you wiped away the dried blood and sweat from his body your mind drifted to admiring what you now confirmed without a doubt was heaviness from muscle. For the love of everything holy, he was built like all he did in prison for those 10 years was pump iron. You tried not to think of the pictures you’d gotten over the last week of him disappearing into the blonde dancer’s house time and time again. You tried not to think of the things that happened behind that door that your cameras couldn’t get into.

Though you tried to keep the thoughts at bay, when you got to his “Peckerwood” tattoo you couldn’t help but drift to how she touched him, how he found solace after 10 years without in her body.

“Fuck!”

You threw the rag down into the water ignoring how it cascaded over the rim and onto the wooden floors. You stood, wiped your hands, and took a safer seat, across the room where your view of his body wasn’t clear.

Knock-knock

“Come.”

In walked a cleaned-up Uki with a tray. She placed it on the table near your chair then stood there watching Ray just as you were.

“Manolo told us.”

You nodded.

“I can take first watch so you can get cleaned up,” she offered.

You didn’t answer. In truth, you barely heard her.

Knock-knock.

“Come.”

Jada and Lyn came in next and stood to your left adding their two pairs of eyes to Ray.

“Found you some clothes,” Jada breached.

“Team 2 and 3 made it home without any problems after initiating endgame. Right about now they should have an ID on the body from the fire and that ID will be a one hundred percent match for 1 Mr. Ray Merrimen,” Lyn informed.

You released a slow breath as the final piece of your plan seamlessly synced with the others laid before it. That was it then.

“Come in Keturah,” you called before the knock you knew was coming sounded.

They all snorted as Keturah walked in and approached the bed getting a good look at Ray.

“Still can’t believe this famous Ray turned out to be a white man oh.”

That was just what everyone needed to hear before they busted out laughing. It went on for so long that you felt the stress that your body had harvested slowly leave you. You looked around at your girls. They’d been with you through thick and thin and you trusted them with your life. They were always there for you, and you were more than grateful.

“He might be a well-seasoned white man,” Lyn added which made them holler with laughter.

You’d expected their teasing once they saw him in person. You’d prepared yourself for all of this. In fact, you were enjoying their teasing. You’d been tense for so long it felt good to breathe for a change. You rotated your head trying to ease your sore muscles.

“You should eat, then shower. I know you’ll hate it if he sees you for the first time looking like you spent 3 nights in a hot hut.”

You pressed the back of your hand to your cheek. “I don’t look that bad.”

“Ya’ look worse,” they all collectively said.

Your jaw dropped but they only laughed more. The six of you sat around the room and chatted as you ate the meal Uki brought in. With each passing minute, you felt more and more like yourself. In the back of your mind, your fears and anxieties were still raging but they were quieted enough that you could celebrate small victories. After, Uki stayed by Ray’s side as you showered and made yourself less of a mess.

With your mind calm that Uki was around, and Manolo was in the house you took the time to pamper yourself a little. The hot water did the job of a pair of well-trained hands and melted away the knots in your shoulders and back while the scents from the diffuser worked on your mood and stress. You’d jumped over one hurdle and there were two more waiting for you, the final one was waiting for you at home.

When you went back into the room Ray was still unconscious and Uki was there on her phone.

“Ah, you look and smell a lot better.”

“Girl shut up!”

“Seriously, you look better.”

You nodded then sighed. “I’m holding up.”

“I just got word from Junu, and he is livid.”

You nodded. It was expected. You knew this whole operation would upset him especially since he’d vehemently forbade it.

“I’ll take the blame and whatever punishment he dishes out. You guys will be safe.”

“While your father terrifies me, I won’t let you be punished alone.”

“You all were just following my orders. I will take the heat.”

Uki studied you then looked back to Ray. “Is he worth it?”

She didn’t just mean the punishment you’d take but the risk and danger. You looked at Ray and slowly approached him. You knew the answer without a shadow of a doubt.

“Till the end!”

Seconds later you heard the click of the door as it closed. You were again alone with him. This time you dragged the chair closer and sat back down hunkering down for a sleepless night.

~~~~~~~~

You awoke to heavy shuddering and grunting. You’d only closed your eyes for a moment, or so you thought. However now, Ray was seizing in the bed, body riddled with violent thrashing.

“Shit, Ray!”

You moved to the edge of the bed and noted the way his body was drenched with sweat. Once you touched him you pulled back, he was burning up.

“Shit!”

You leaped up, grabbed the bowl beside the bed, and sprinted to the bathroom to fill it with cold water. When you returned you wasted no time applying the cold wet cloth to his forehead. When his seizing intensified you hollered for help as you turned him onto his side. With one hand you took up another cloth, dipped it into the water, and placed it in his mouth so he wouldn’t bite down on his tongue. It was then the girls ran into the room in a panic.

“Get Manolo. He’s seizing and has a fever.”

“On it,” Jada shouted before she disappeared.

The others approached the bed and tried to help you keep him on the bed and wipe him down. In what felt like a lifetime Jada returned with Manolo who sprang into action. He took your spot and administered an injection into the IV he’d placed when he first got here.

“This will help the seizure.”

Within minutes Ray’s convulsions slowed until they stopped altogether. Manolo then injected another needle into the IV.

“This will bring down the fever. He’s more than likely fighting off an infection. I already gave him something for that.”

“What do we do?”

“Nothing. We wait. I know you hate that answer, but I don’t have a better one. He has to do the work now.”

After thirty minutes of monitoring, Manolo left again satisfied that the seizure did not return. After that, you didn’t dare fall asleep again. Every thirty minutes you wiped his body with cold cloths and bundled him tighter, so he felt some warmth. By the time the sun rose the next day, he hadn’t gotten any better and your stress returned tenfold. He couldn’t be moved in this state, so your flight home was delayed until he made it through the other end of this.

The day passed with each of you sitting with him making sure his fever was kept in check and his seizures were managed. He fared well during the day but when the sun disappeared his seizures returned and persisted for much of the night. By the 2nd night there he’d begun spitting up blood. Manolo was hours away from making the choice to take him to a hospital when the sun rose on the third day and with that new day came calm.

“I think he’s passed the worst of it,” Manolo said as he took his glasses off after his very thorough examination.

“Are you sure?”

“His vitals are much better. Heartrate is not quite normal yet but considering he was close to losing a lung he is doing well.”

“Why hasn’t he woken up yet?”

“Well, I induced a temporary coma to help him heal. I’ve started to wean him off so the medication I put him on should leave his system within the day. Perhaps tomorrow he’ll come to.”

“Will he live Manolo?”

“If this continues and he comes out of this tomorrow I feel good about his chances.”

You rubbed your face pressing just a bit so the tension would go.

“Thank goodness.”

“If all progresses, you should be good to fly the day after tomorrow.”

“Thank you, Manolo.”

“Aria, you’re like family. I’d do anything for you,” he said placing his hand on your shoulder. “You should rest.”

You nodded knowing those were doctor’s orders you wouldn’t be following. Not yet.

~~~~~~~

-The Next Day-

You were sitting by Ray's bedside once again after another sleepless night. Uki's question had been playing over and over in your mind like an annoying one-hit wonder that you couldn't forget. The longer you sat with the question the more it warped. No, your answer hadn't changed but you began to wonder if he would also say the same.

The last 10 years or so couldn't have been easy. No one thrived in prison. The environment wasn't conducive to that. The system needed a change if it was tasked with reforming wrongdoers. You knew being inside chipped away pieces of who you were before going in so you knew he was hardened. What you worried about was; how hardened was he. Was there any bit of the person you'd known? Or was this man laying at death's door a stranger with a monster lurking within

Knock-Knock

“Come.”

You tried to make yourself look like you hadn't been hyper-fixated on watching the man before you all night, tried to look detached and nonchalant.

“You look like shit.”

“For fuck's sake Uki!”

“What? If I looked as bad as you, one of you better keep it real and tell me the same,” she replied as she put down another tray.

“Guess you're expecting a thank you for telling me I look like shit?”

Uki shrugged and crossed her arms as she took her place beside you.

“Fuck thank you.  Just tell me you know and I'm right. That's my love language,” she joked.

However, it wasn't a joke. She did love being right. She got off on it. She constantly wore a smug look across her beautiful flawless features. It was as if she always walked with an air about her that she was higher than those around her. To tell the truth, it was one of the reasons you gravitated to one another and formed a quick friendship when you were children.

As The Viper's only daughter and heir, you knew you were above them in rank and status, and while most would relish the fact it always suffocated you. Being at the top of the food chain put you on a whole different playing field and on that field, you always had a target on your back.

“We may have trouble.”

Your head snapped to her waiting for her to continue. Of course you did, it had been way too calm and quiet.

“Razu,” Uki muttered.

Her one-word response didn't need to be followed up with anything else. You sighed so heavily that it almost sounded like the danger declaring hiss of the creature your father got his name from. Everyone knew you didn't disturb vipers; it was a “duh” rule in the animal kingdom. Do not disturb the vipers and never disturb the den. Razu was the one who never quite understood the unspoken rule.

“Where is he?”

“Downstairs with an entitled look on his face. He demands to see you.”

That almost hiss came out and filled the room this time.

“He heard whispers of you going to America and wants to talk about why.”

“Why? Ha, do I answer to him now oh?!”

Uki sighed and shrugged. “Seeing how he is…”

“Finish that sentence and we will have a serious discussion on how much of my coming punishment you will be taking.”

Uki zipped her lips with her fingers and allowed the silence to stretch.

“If he heard whispers then he probably suspects something. Our people in Los Angeles probably tipped him off.”

Your eyes slipped back to Ray. Shit, you thought.

Another near hiss escaped you.

“Yep. Either he is here to confirm his suspicions and try to use it as his proof you are not fit to take over on your own or--.”

“Ipenija is iku,”{challenge to the death},” you finished.

“Yep.”

“Fuck! There is no way Ray can do a challenge right now.”

“No. This white meat would be dead meat,” Uki teased.

“Really Uki? Right now?”

She smiled then shrugged again. She was right though. You had to make sure Razu found nothing. You reached into the bedside drawer and took out your 3 guns then checked the chambers. Locked, loaded, and ready for action. You tucked one in the front waistband of your jeans and the other in the back. You then took up your thigh holster from where it hung on one of the posts of the bed. Rather than bringing along the third gun you left it on the bedside table and patted your arsenal of knives loaded on the contraption. It was time to remind Razu who you were and who he was not.

Before you walked out of the room you looked back at Ray once more then hardened your features and resolve. Once you walked into the large living room of the opulent hacienda-style property you found Razu sitting in the largest seat in the room which was made from a slew of precious materials. One leg was crossed over the other with his ankle resting atop his knee and in his hands he played with a machete.

Your femme fetales assembled behind you in an arrowhead formation, the five of them flanking each other’s left and right. With his tamed beard, dark and smooth skin, and dangerous eyes Razu slowly broke out into a toothy smile.

“Come on Aria. I am not the enemy no need for the famous formation.”

His voice was smooth and silky like a goading predator slinking its way around to find an opening.

“I don't know Razu. You come unannounced--.”

“And unwelcomed,” Keturah added.

Razu's eyes turned to slits as he glared at Keturah.

“I suggest you keep your femmes in line or something fatal will happen to one of the pretty bitches,” Razu said.

You pulled your guns with quickness and closed the space between you to then press one gun to his temple and the other under his chin.

“Say one more fucking word about or to my femmes and the only fatal thing happening is your death by fatality. One hair on any of their heads is worth so much more than your entire existence. So, tread very, very carefully.”

The fire is Razu's eyes blazed uncontrollably. You saw how badly he wanted to speak again and retaliate but the facts were simple. You were your father's daughter. His empire would be yours soon and no matter how badly Razu wanted it he would never get it. Not by challenge, not by infiltration, and definitely not by arranged marriage.

The fire in his eyes faded and a smile spread across his face.

“Easy Aria, I simply came to make sure you were all right. The dens in LA heard you were in town. They said a lot was shaken up and the dens had to close up ranks to stay off the radar.”

You pulled back and walked back to your girls who hadn't moved an inch. They knew you were more than capable of taking care of Razu. Once in place, you spoke.

“Did your spies actually see me in LA or are they spreading false rumors?”

“Rumors? So, you weren't in LA?”

“Are you questioning me Razu? It sounds like you are but I am sure I am wrong because in order to be remotely qualified to do that, you have to be someone higher than me. Right girls?”

They each replied with confirmation. Razu's jaw clenched tightly and you knew just how badly he wanted to lash out. Smiling you watched him struggle. This was fun. It had been a while since you had fun and you realized how much you missed this.

“Why is it always rank with you?”

“Because you forget your fucking place! You are merely a sergeant in this den. One of many. You do not question me, you do not threaten me, and you definitely do not demand of me.”

“Your safety is important,” Razu carefully added.

“My safety? Do I look unsafe?”

You turned to your friends so they could inspect.

“You look safe to me,” Lyn said.

“Sure do,” Jada added

“Picture of health,” Milla chimed in.

You turned back to Razu. “I feel safe so I say you have nothing to worry about.”

Razu stared you down clearly upset this wasn't turning out the way he wanted. When you cocked your head to the side and then nudged it toward the exit Razu grumbled but stood.

“I'll head home and tell The Viper that baby Viper is doing well in Mexico.”

Your father didn't know where you were right now and you knew that Razu still suspected you had gone to the States which meant his reporting your current whereabouts would imply you had in fact been in the States. You kept your face unreadable.

“You do that. You'd just be giving him news he already knew, but whatever.”

You shrugged then examined your nails playing up how unbothered you were. As Razu walked toward the front door he chuckled.

“I'll see you at home, little Viper.”

No one moved until you heard the door close. Before they spoke you walked out of the room across the estate.

“Have them scour that room for bugs. I don't trust Razu.”

Milla nodded and walked off to get it done.

“He has definitely overstepped his bounds,” Lyn said.

“He sure has but he just revealed he has spies within our dens. I am sure my father would love to know that.”

The only great threat to queens were peasants thinking they were smarter. Your father ran a tight ship and usually got rid of those who had the balls to have big ideas. Razu's days were numbered.

“If he is going home now then he will be sure to paint a horrible picture before you arrive. We should leave tonight,” Uki proposed.

She made sense and it was probably the best move. Only 2 things were wrong. Ray was still not out of the woods yet and if you went back in a hurry Razu would know you were afraid of something. 

“Have someone watch Razu until he leaves. I want to know if he so much as pisses and it's not yellow.”

You walked away up the stairs while putting the safety back on your guns and repositioning them in the waistband of your jeans. Halfway back to the bedroom where Ray was—your bedroom you had a thought that if you took Razu out here and now When you walked inside he was still lying on the bed which was a relief and disappointment all at once. You were glad Razu hadn't tried to lure you downstairs to have his men search the house, but more worried Ray was still unconscious. You knew the longer he remained so the worse his prognosis.

You pressed your back to the door and took some deep breaths and tried to push the annoyance of Razu out of your head. Every day your list of problems increased. You felt the stinging prickle of tears behind your eyes. They were tears you’d held in for so long, tears you didn’t dare shed, tears you knew would find their way down your cheeks one way or another.

You walked across the room to the side of the bed and peered down at Ray. His bandaged wounds were speckled with bright red blood reminding you how close he’d come to dying. The even rise and fall of his chest said his breathing was evened out and he was probably not in too much danger. You sat at the edge of the bed as the urge to touch him became stronger than ever. You brought your hand closer and closer to the tattoo swooped across his chest. Your eyes locked on the ‘A’ within the ‘KingHarbor’ tattoo and within seconds you could make something else written there.

You leaned closer and closer bringing your face right over his chest and it was then you saw it. Hidden within the ‘A’ was your name. Aria.

“No fucking way,” you whispered.

You turned to the nightstand ready to switch on the lamp for more light but an empty tabletop caught your eye. The cock of the gun and the warm press to your forehead said you’d caught it too late.

“Back—the fuck—up!”

You huffed a breath out half relief half annoyance. Slowly you moved back.

“Who the fuck are you?”

You turned to face him and saw the moment recognition hit him. The stone-cold set of his face turned to wide-eyed disbelief.

“A—Aria?”

“It’s me, Ray.”

Your voice was small. You hadn’t meant for it to be at all, but it was, small and timid. Ray’s expression went from disbelief to blazing fury. You brought your eyes to the gun still pressed to your forehead.

“You’re gonna shoot me with my own gun huh.”

“I can think of a reason or two why I should,” Ray gritted out through clenched jaws.

You could hear the pain in his voice. Sighing, you shook your head. You weren’t afraid of him.

“Put the gun down, Ray.”

“Like hell I will.”

You glared at each other for long moments. You got lost in the amount of hatred you saw in his eyes. He’d never looked at you like this before, never pressed a gun to your head either. You sighed again then used the move he taught you to unarm him. However, he did not let you have your way instead, he grabbed your wrist pulled you to him, and attempted to swivel you so he could put you in a chokehold. Evading the move, you in turn swung your legs over him and sat on his thighs.

“Stop! You’re going to bust your stitches!”

Ray didn’t listen. He still fought you as if he didn’t have three bullet holes in his body.

“Ray!”

He reached for the knives in your thigh holster but you grabbed his arm instead. When he tried to use his other hand to reach for your gun you stopped him. That was when the door banged open and your Femmes rushed in guns and chosen weapons drawn to see you straddling him and holding his wrists. It looked kinky.

“Uh—didn’t waste any time huh,” Milla teased.

Ray yanked his arm away then rammed the heel of his palm into your gut. He hadn’t used all his force, but he’d used enough to send you to the foot of the bed. The action took you by surprise and stole the wind from your lungs. Your femmes cocked and raised their guns and weapons.

“Stand down,” you choked out.

Ray laid there looking at the six of you as if he didn’t trust any of you and was expecting one or all of you to make a move any second.

“Are you okay?”

You raised to your feet then rested your hands over your knee while you tried to catch your breath.

“Fine.”

“You let him catch you off guard?”

You glared at Uki.

“Didn’t expect him to—pull my own gun on me.”

“Where the fuck am I and what the fuck is going on?”

“Thu, what a way to speak to the people who you owe your life to,” Lyn spat.

“What’re you talking about?”

Your eyes fell to the bandages that were speckled red before. Now they were soaked with his blood.

“Shit, you busted the stitches,” you said making a move to him.

Ray lurched back. “Stay away from me!”

“If I do that you’ll bleed out and after everything we did to keep you alive, I’ll be pretty pissed about it.”

He surveilled you then the other five women in the room trying to gauge the level of trust he could muster in this moment.

“If we wanted to kill you, we would have stayed in our country while your so-called heist went all the way to shit,” Jada said.

“What the fuck does that mean?”

You looked at Jada slightly annoyed she brought it up already.

“Later.”

“No, now!”

“The heist went south. Enson, Bosco, they’re all dead,” you carefully broke.

“Wh—what!?”

“Donnie ran a play in your heist. He knew all the players set it up with them and used you guys as the muscle. He set you up to take the heat and fall so he could take the money. Nick knew everything from him. Your life is burned. They shot the others and Nick would have got you too if we hadn’t gotten there in time,” you explained ripping off the rest of the band-aide.

His face was blank as he processed your words then the rage returned.

“Donnie that motherfucker!”

“That he is.”

Silence filled the room and slowly you got closer and closer to him. Once close enough you sat on the edge of the bed.

“Your only option now is to disappear and by disappear I mean dead man disappear,” you finished.

“Why the fuck should I trust you?”

It was a fair question.

“She risked her fucking life to save yours. She did all this for you!”

You looked back to your girls and shook your head hoping to disengage the situation.

“It’s okay guys, wait outside.”

“So he can try something? Like hell,” Jada voiced.

“He has three bullet holes in him. I’m sure I can take him.”

They nodded knowing you could then one by one exit the room. When it was just the two of you, you opened your mouth to speak but Ray beat you to it.

“You should leave too.”

“You’re bleeding. Let me redress those then I’ll go.”

He took a few moments to contemplate your words then nodded. You kept your actions slow and careful as you got closer then took off the soaked bandages. When you wiped at the wounds he barely flinched or made a sound. You could feel his eyes boring into you keeping an eye on every move you made. You knew he didn’t trust you and you understood completely.

With needle and thread in hand, you began stitching him again. Still, Ray remained quiet the whole time he watched you. Whenever you reached for something you felt him tense underneath you even more than when you worked. Was he really that leery of you?

“Where am I?”

“Mexico.”

He scoffed. “Mexico. Is this where you’ve been living it up in a Mexican hacienda?”

“Living it--,” you began but trailed off. Before you spoke again, you scoffed. “No.”

“Right. Is this your place?”

“It—belongs to my father.”

You peeped up and met his eyes and instantly regretted it. His eyes were cold, dead, and filled with anger.

“And those women? Who are they?”

You tied off the thread then reached for the alcohol bottle on the side table.

“This is going to hurt.”

In your other hand, you took up the tequila there and held it out to him.

“No. Go ahead,” Ray said not even trying to hide the distrust in his eyes.

You shrugged and took a chug from the tequila bottle then poured the alcohol. You watched Ray stiffen as the burn rushed through him. The veins in his neck and forehead pulsated just beneath his skin, his face got redder and the muscles all across his torso flexed and bulged giving you a show for the first time how much he'd changed. Before you right now was a very grown man, a very gorgeous grown man, a man you probably didn't know anymore. His groan cane out agonized and tight. Wanting to help you leaned forward and blew onto the freshly stitched and taut skin hoping to provide some relief for him.

You kept your eyes level with his chest and focused on blowing in a way that kept the air coming from you cool. You took up the cloth and dabbed the excess antiseptic from his bruised flesh taking care to be gentle the closer you got to his wounds. You happened to glance up and found his eyes on you. The anger in his eyes was gone as was the right clench of his jaw. He looked as if he were in some sort of trance. You didn't stop blowing but moved for the wound salve waiting to be applied on the table. Slowly, you spread some across each bullet wound. With every touch, Ray sucked in a breath like a startled gasp. You didn't know if it was entirely from the pain he had to have been on or something else.

By the time you taped down a few thick squares of gauze, the door banged open.

“Ah, you're awake. Good,” Manolo exclaimed. “How is he, Aria?”

“He busted open his stitches so I did the whole song and dance and voila,” you explained.

“It looks good. How do you feel amigo?”

“Who are you?”

“The doctor who helped save your life,” Manolo dryly said.

“This is Manolo. I've known him most of my life. He's a good doctor and an even better man,” you informed as you moved from his side to rinse your hands in the bowl of water beside the bed.

“How do you feel?”

“Like I've been shot.”

“Oh, my friend you have been…3 times. One of them was centimeters from your lung, another a hair from puncturing your heart. Jeez, I don't know which angel you have looking out for you but I need her.”

Manolo approached him and began taking his vitals, you sifted to the back of the room to watch on. Ray's eyes slipped from you to Manolo then back to you as if he expected either of you to make a move against him. Was this because of you or had prison made him this way? Milla slipped inside and came to stand beside you. She now had Ray's full attention. With her voice low, she spoke.

“Razu has men watching the hacienda from all directions. If we plan on leaving without him knowing there is only one option.”

You nodded and locked eyes with Ray.

“Is he ready to move Manolo?”

“He’s a walking miracle. I think he's good to fly.”

“I'm not going anywhere with you people.”

All eyes moved to him each with different emotions radiating from them. You sighed.

“Do you think you have a choice?”

Ray narrowed his eyes at Milla's question.

“Yeah, I do. I don't know you from Adam.”

“What else do you need to know besides I--.”

The door opened and the rest of your Femmes walked in and flanked your side assuming formation without even realizing it.

“We saved your life,” Milla continued.

“Enough. This is Milla, Lyn, Jada, and Uki. These are my Femme Fetales, you explained.

“Femme Fetales? What's with the name?”

“Let's hope you never have to find out,” Keturah slid in.

“If you don't come with us, what's your plan? Go back to LA? Wander around alone? Get into some more shit with some more untrustworthy fucks?”

“Those were my brothers! And now they're fucking gone!”

“I know and I know what a deep cut that is. I know you're angry but being angry doesn't mean you have to be stupid. I don't think you get it. Right now your only option is to disappear. No, returning to LA, no lone wolf shit.”

He studied you and you could see the storm of emotions swirling inside of him. He was rightfully angry. His world shifted yet again. When he didn't speak for a few minutes you sighed again.

“Well stay one more night, give you some time to think it over. If tomorrow you decide you still don't want to go with us then fine. You be on your way and we'll be on ours no questions no debates.”

“Aria,” Uki began but you held your hand up to stop her.

“Everyone out.”

“Would you like something for the pain?”

Ray shook his head and watched everyone pour out of the room one by one. When it was just you, he raised a brow.

“You too.”

You scoffed having half expected it. As you walked to the door he watched you. Before leaving you looked back at him.

“The windows have sensory alarms so they’re sensitive to touch and movement, you’re also three stories up. Patrol outside might miss you if you jump but the perimeter patrol won’t. You’re free to leave but use the front door. It’s safest. Say goodbye first.”

“Like you did?”

For the second time, you felt as if you’d been kicked in the gut and gotten the wind knocked out of you. Low blow, you thought as you nodded and left him. Pressing your back to the door you took several calming breaths and then walked down the hall to the kitchen. You needed a drink—bad!

~~~~~~~

-The Next Day-

“Did you sleep at all?”

You scoffed as you filled your coffee cup with freshly brewed Pu-erh tea. With the sleep you hadn’t been getting and the day ahead that you foresaw, you desperately needed it.

“Sleep? Don’t know her.”

Keturah snorted and shook her head. “I don’t know how you do it.”

You took a lengthy sip from the cup and moaned. “God that’s good.”

“Morning workout?”

“Just a little meet-up with the punching bag.”

“Ah, is this aggression release or sexual tension release?”

You snorted and shook your head before you took another sip from your mug.

“He is ripped, Aria.”

“That he is.”

“He is also a distrustful ingrate,” she added.

You laughed.

“The only reason he is getting a pass is because his friends are gone and he almost died.”

“He doesn’t trust me,” you solemnly said.

You could wallow in it, matter of fact you had already. The entire night you wallowed and sulked because his distrust of you was so evident, so strong that it tore you apart. You’d wallowed until you were at dirt level. Now, in the light of morning, you couldn’t afford to anymore.

“You sure he’s still up there?”

“If he can plan to break into the reserve and steal millions of dollars I am sure he can manage to sneak out of somewhere without raising alarms,” you said.

“Legend,” Keturah muttered.

He sure was. If Donnie hadn’t been a little asshole this heist would have gone down as an incredible legend. It was practically flawless. As Keturah filled you in on any new developments you flitted around the kitchen to put together some breakfast for him. The others rolled into the kitchen and brought you up to date with the new developments but then the conversation shifted to plans and prep to leave. When you gave the go-ahead to get ready to take off in an hour, you walked out with a tray full of food on your way to Ray’s room.

As you stood outside you contemplated if you should just try the door or knock first. You reached for the handle, turned, and cocked your head to the side when you realized it was open. With caution, you walked inside and found Ray walking out of the bathroom, shirtless with a towel hung low around his waist. What was air? You no longer knew because it ceased to enter your lungs. Your jaw hung open and eyes roamed all the skin on display. You remembered Keturah’s words from minutes ago and though you’d agreed then, those words were now your gospel. He was ripped like no one’s business.

“Holy shit,” you mumbled.

“No knock?’

You met his eyes then realized what you were doing. “Ehm. Sorry. I uh—I honestly didn’t expect you to still be in here.”

“You and me both,” Ray answered.

“Well, I brought you poison-free breakfast. Freshly made and still hot.”

You placed the tray on the bed then backed up when you felt him walking toward the food. He looked over the tray then at you then back at the food. You watched him ease down onto the bed then dig into the double stacks of pancakes, eggs, sausage, and tater tots. When he dipped a matter tot into the grape jelly you smiled, comforted that at least that was the same. The man loved his sweets.

You didn't know how long you stood there watching him eat but in no time at all the plate was empty and he was gulping down the tea you'd given him.

“Tea is not my thing.”

“I know but you were just shot and still recovering caffeine is on the list of no foods for a while longer.”

Ray stared at you with squinted eyes and underneath the scrutiny of his eyes you has to look away but your eyes went back to his body. God he looked good, you thought. Again your eyes went to the “A” part of his chest tat and stared.  He'd tattooed your name on him. If he'd done that he couldn’t hate you could he?

“What game are you playing? Whatever it is I don't want any parts of it this time,” Ray said, draining the hot tea.

“I'm not playing any game, never have.”

“Right.”

You'd had enough. “Look say what you gotta say, I've had enough with the passive-aggressive you. Speak your heart, because we gotta move. I don't like being away from home after a job for too long.”

“Home? Funny I thought LA was your home, that I was…”

He trailed off leaving the words unspoken but still felt.

“Guess things change.  You had no problem leaving LA and staying gone for 10 years. Had no problem letting me take the fall, the time, and all that came with it! No problem using me!”

“Okay, you wanna do this now? Fine!”

You pulled up a chair and sat in front of him. “I never used you. I also never asked you to take the fall for me. That was you, Ray!”

“Bullshit! You made a fucking choice and it wasn't me.”

“You told me to run. I ran.”

“Without hesitation you sure did.”

“Oh come on Ray! You don't know how hard that was for me. You have no idea what the fuck I've been through because of that night,” you spat.

“You!? I went to fucking prison Aria. Me! You disappeared. You never visited, never wrote, never called. Nothing! It was me doing the time alone. Me dealing with all that shit for 10 years. You abandoned me!”

His words hurt like 10 thousand blades slicing at your heart. He really had no idea and was just fine looking to the worst as the explanation.  The fury rolling off of him doused your anger. In a way, you guessed it was true. You had disappeared. You didn't call, write or visit. You did run when he told you to. Everything he said was true at surface level.

“I didn't want to leave you, Ray. I wanted to stay and take my chances, serve the time with you.”

“Bullshit! Don't fucking lie to me Aria. I've had 10 years to sit with your lies. 10 years to comb through every lie you said, every lie you weaved into your movements, every lie spoken with your touch. The ledger is in the red, Aria. You can never pay it!”

He was right. You couldn't make up for what happened. It was too late too much had happened. You'd been stupid to think that if you just showed up again things would work themselves out. Even if he knew the whole story nothing would change. You clenched your jaw trying to stop yourself from crying.

“I'm sorry.”

Ray scoffed harshly.

“Fuck your sorries. They mean jack shit.”

This one wasn't a blade. It was a bullet and it made dead center impact. Unable to control yourself you stood and stalked to the door keeping your face turned from him. Before you walked out you stopped and took a breath.

“We're wheels up in an hour. The choice is yours on what to do.”

You grabbed the doorknob and half walked out but stopped again. “Every word I've ever said to you, every action, every touch, every single moment was never a lie. I got you. ‘Till the end imma ride wit’ you. I meant that on everything.”

You rushed from the room knowing you were seconds from exploding with every emotion you'd caged in the last 10 years. You zipped past your girls who'd no doubt heard the shouting and hightailed it to the shooting range under the house where you fired round after round at nearly every target there hitting dead center every time. As you released bullet after bullet tear after tear fell filling the endless well you now knew you'd carry the rest of your life.

An hour later you'd pulled yourself together and were clean, dressed, and strapped up ready to face your shit like the grown-ass woman you were and the queen you were set to become.

“Everything good?

“Yep. Is everyone here?”

No one answered which told me Ray wasn't here. You nodded and took a slow breath in.

“Did you give him the heist money and some gear?”

“An hour ago,” Uki replied.

“All right then. Let's go home.”

You pressed the elevator button and the doors opened.

“Where is home?”

Ray's deep baritone washed over you stunning you still.

“Why?”

“I would like to know where I'm going before I get there,” he answered.

Your head snapped back to him and your eyes locked. Hope swirled within you and it was stronger than any other emotion. It truly was dangerous.

“Nigeria.”

His brow crooked. “Hm, I've always liked the heat.”

“Let's see if you can take it, white boy,” Jada teased.

They all giggled and you caught a ghost of a smile on Ray's lips and your stomach flipped. Shit, you thought. You didn't need this right now.

“You have your money. Why not just take it and go?”

“I still might but right now I have nowhere I need to be.”

You nodded, hearing the words between his words.

“Let's move.”

You got in the elevator and everyone else piled in after you. Once under the compound you took to the escape tunnel and followed the 2 miles until you climbed back to ground level where the truck waited. After loading the bags, you sped away knowing Razu would have never seen this move coming.

It didn't take long to get to the jet and when you were securely in the air and exiting Mexican airspace you began to breathe more freely. For the first hour or so Ray kept to himself. He didn't speak or interact he just watched everything. It was a strength of his and soothing he'd honed in the services. By the time hour 4 came around Milla, Lyn, and Keturah had pulled him into a card game where they grossly took advantage until he got the hang of it. Then the tides turned in his favor.

Slowly he looked like he was beginning to fit in, and it made you relax a little more. Four and a half hours after takeoff, you were landing toward the coast where you would take a boat to the compound. Being the serviceman he was, Ray constantly checked the perimeter with one hand on his gun and the other hooked in the bulletproof vest he wore. He looked like a fish out of water amongst the backdrop of dessert colored dirt, rocky mountains, and free-roaming elephants, Zebras, and Antelope but at the same time, he looked like he belonged. Perhaps that was wishful thinking.

“Home, oh!”

You looked out to the palatial compound that rivaled the vastness of The Alamo and smiled. While you felt like a caged bird at times you loved being home.

“That is home?”

“Home sweet home,” Lyn added.

“Jesus, who are you people?”

They giggled while you focused on your return. You could already see movement and knew everyone around was gathering. Once the boat docked you unloaded and made your way to the walls. The men on patrol there were starting at Ray like he had three heads.

“Ehm!”

The guards shook out of their stupor and then opened the gate allowing you to enter. As you walked through, they saluted you with the respect you deserved. However, before you made it to the house you heard the murmurs of the arrival of the man you knew you'd have to answer to sooner or later. Everyone around except for you and Ray dropped to one knee while bending one arm at the elbow and clenching a tight fist. Your father's salute. You looked to Ray he was clearly confused but not intimidated.

The 6-and-a-half-foot man approached you with a stern look on his face and dressed like the world's best businessman. When he stood in front of you, Ray still didn't drop to his knee. You didn't know if it was ignorance of who was before him or indifference. If it was indifference, you were highly turned on. As your father eyed you trying to intimidate you into submitting you stood there head high, eyes locked on his not wavering. Your father's eyes shifted to Ray and you took a sidestep to stand in front of him.

“I'm home baba.”

Your father’s eyebrow crooked. “Baba? You still recognize me as your baba? You still recognize me as the leader of this organization?!”

Everyone continued to murmur as they felt the air shift from his anger.

“Of course.”

He scoffed. “I explicitly told you to stay out of the States. I told you that you can't break him out. I told you so many things and they were all ignored by you. All disobeyed!”

“Baba, I couldn't just sit here anymore. I had to.”

He stared at you, eyes still blazing with anger but slowly his features cooled. “You accomplished it too, I am impressed.”

You smiled.

“But what if I would have lost you? What then? Did you plan that far in your elaborate schemes?”

“You raised me and I had my Femme Fetales, how could you lose me?”

He sighed, shook his head then cupped your cheek. “You are of my blood, I don't know why I was surprised. I'm surprised it took you this long.”

You smirked.

“Fine.”

Your Father's eyes shifted back to Ray who was still standing.

“Still standing I see.”

“I bow to no one,” Ray defiantly exclaimed in that nonchalant voice of his.

Your father cocked his brow then laughed heartily. “Is that so?”

“Viper, it's been settled,” one of the men informed bowing his has to your father.

Ray's eyes went wide. “Viper? As in The Viper? The most feared and respected man in the game? The man who is at the top of everyone's wanted list and who has a hand and foot in every country and every market? That viper?”

Your father looked impressed. “And if I was that Viper?”

Ray looked at you then back to your father. “Then you'd have a lot more of my respect.”

He laughed again. “Interesting. Still standing?”

“I told you; I bow to no one.”

Your father smirked. “If you stay here when she takes over I can't wait to see you eat those words.”

He and Ray squared off both stating the other down as if sizing each other up. You knew your father was trying to gauge what kind of a man he was and get a feel of what value he posed. Usually, he was a great judge of character, but you wondered if he’d be biased because of the past, because of what Ray was to you.

“Everyone back to work.”

All the soldiers began walking away clearing the center but when you began to move he spoke again. “Everyone except Ray. We have plenty to talk about.”

You once again leaped in front of Ray shielding him. “No way.”

His eyes dipped down to yours and he mischievously smirked. “Why?”

“Because I know you. To punish me and prove a point you would kill him.”

Your father put his hand over his chest. “You wound me, princess. I promise I won’t kill him much less lay a hand on him. However, if he can’t so little as take a beating then maybe he’s not an asset here.”

“Baba he’s already taken 3 bullets, 2 came close to his heart and lung.”

“And I’ve taken a bullet right in the head and I lived to talk about it and run this empire. Near a lung and heart is child’s play.”

You opened your mouth to counter, but your father’s voice boomed over yours. “Either I talk to him alone now or I will see if he can take a bullet to the head and live. What’s 4 bullets?”

You knew better than to push him. He was your father, and he was soft on you, but he was still in charge. You hated it when he threw his weight around like this. Gritting your teeth, you sidestepped.

“Go and make sure everything is okay with the mission for tomorrow night.”

With one more glance at Ray, then your father you walked off. If Ray was going to survive here he had to learn how to fend for himself. What better opponent to start with than the king himself?

-Ray-

The fucking viper. He’d heard countless stories of this man’s empire. In LA there were plenty of his viper dens, plenty of his people dealing in so much shit. His gambling den was always packed and usually, the place everyone went for information, and that was just one of his businesses. He’d had no idea his reach came this far. Africa. Holy shit, he thought. They’d walked to a more secluded part of the compound, a part that looked like a luxury desert oasis.

He watched Viper sit, pull out something wrapped in brown paper then light it. With one puff came another and another until he was surrounded by white fragrant smoke. He took a deep breath in. It had been a long time since he’d had one of these. With parole checks and shit like that, he had to stay clean of everything.

“Here. Live a little.”

He held a similar one to him. He took it and mirrored his actions until he’d taken one long puff of his own. He groaned long and loud which brought a laugh from the giant’s mouth across from him.

“10 long years without one huh.”

He took in this man in a designer suit, diamonds, and gold. He had no idea you knew The Viper. It dawned on him then that he probably didn’t know anything about you anymore.

“I will give you one piece of advice and a warning all wrapped in one. Never have daughters because they will cripple you worse than any bullet ever could.”

Once he’d said the words it didn’t take him long to piece it together. Daughter.

“Aria is your daughter.”

He nodded. “She didn’t tell you.”

He sighed and took another lengthy puff. “One of many things I’m sure. I’m not surprised anymore.”

“Sounds a lot like animosity.”

He sighed but remained silent. He was bitter—very bitter.

“I’m sorry about your brothers. I know a loss like that—is a serious blow especially not being able to say goodbye.”

He balled his free hand. he’d hit the nail right on the head.

“If I know Aria and I do, she’s already found your snitch and he’ll be gift-wrapped to you by tonight.”

He snapped his eyes to the viper. “What’re you talking about?”

He sighed and blew out a puff of smoke. “I suppose it’s time to come clean.”

A few moments passed in silence, and he waited as patiently as he could.

“12 years ago I knew the moment you met, and I knew from that moment every move either of you made. I knew every secret rendezvous, every phone call, text message, every mini heist, every small job, every crazy scheme, and plan. Aria had no clue I knew and though I was leery about you, hell any man who wanted my daughter’s attention. She’s my only child and the future of this empire. But I like to give her small freedoms, so I let her live, I let her think she was living this secret life and I kept watch as the two of you fell in love—to my complete dislike. Of all people, a white boy oh.”

He kissed his teeth, then sighed. “I thought—hoped it would be young love, a fling, but I knew the night she shielded you from that vato, we’d move way past that.”

His interest was piqued but his gut rolled as if he knew he wouldn’t like what came next.

“The night of that lift off the PerriP crew I had my most trusted guys watching her. I knew the deeper in she got with you the more risk she would take. So when the shit hit the fan and you guys figured out there was a snitch you got cornered. They reported it to me, and I relayed my orders. Get her out at all costs.”

He paused again to take another drag from the substance lit between his fingers.

“When you told her to run, and you decided to burn yourself to save her I knew she would have stayed right there with you no matter what. You got separated it wasn’t because she actually ran. my men came in and sedated her to get her out.”

Everything felt like it collapsed then, his vision went tunnel, heart pounded painfully and loudly.

“What!?”

“My men followed my orders and when she came to, she killed several good men in an effort to get back to you. Of course, I couldn’t allow that. Within 2 hours, she was on the jet back here.”

As his heart thudded more painfully he pressed his hand over it. All this time, he thought.

“For the last 10 years, she’s been forbidden from making contact, forbidden from stepping foot in the States, forbidden from doing anything that he didn’t approve of. She hated my order and rebelled like hell. For years she hated me. I’m sure she still hates me for it, but I knew without a doubt that she would have served that stint with you. As her father, I couldn’t allow that.”

In the span of five minutes, his entire world had shifted. Everything he believed was flipped.

“You may resent me for it but, even knights are meant to be sacrificed for the queen.”

He met your father’s eyes and saw aloofness. He didn’t look remorseful, but he could see something that he thought was close. He wasn’t sorry nor did he regret his decisions, but he felt badly.

“Since the day she landed here, she’s been keeping tabs on you. She knew about your life on the inside and kept her ears to the ground so she knew when to step in if she had to. She was the reason you only served 10 instead of the 20 they wanted to give you. She wanted to break you out, but I wouldn’t allow it because that move would jeopardize my empire because of all the moving parts and people in law enforcement and government it would have taken. I don’t like to cash in debts.”

As your father spoke he sat there thinking about the last 10 to 12 years of his life. The happy years with you then the darkness of the last 10.

“She knew about your heist plan, knew about Donnie but she let it play out because she had a bigger plan. She managed to be one step ahead of everything and executed her plans seamlessly. She went against me and my orders and put the entire den in jeopardy just to step in and save you. She did all this for one man.”

He sounded as if he were in disbelief.

“Were you worth it?”

He scoffed. Was he?

“I see a lot of myself in you. Your ferocity, brains, drive, creativity, and foresight, I see so much potential for you here. I’m impressed with what you can offer the den. I always have been. Now that she’s gone through all this effort it is clear to me that how she felt then never died, it lives still. The proof has always been clear to me though I was reluctant to accept it. She is my princess, and no one is worthy of her. However, it’s become time for me to step aside and let her choose who stands beside her. I’ll offer you a spot in my empire, a place in the Den of Vipers, but the role is up Aria.”

He couldn’t believe his ears. All these years, all this time. Everything he’d thought was real wasn’t, everything was wrong. Your father stood then patted him on his shoulders.

“Take some time to think about it. Let me know when you’ve decided.”

With that, he walked off leaving him sitting there in this oasis with a head full of thoughts and a heart aching in more ways than one.

-Aria-

It had been nearly 2 hours now. What the fuck could they be talking about for so long? Being home you were supposed to be at ease but during your soak in the tub, you hadn't felt any ease. You were as tense and worried as ever. Not even half a bottle of rum had helped. You paced your room in your mid-thigh length robe as you thought about your options. Your father was pissed with you but you knew he wouldn't be too harsh. If you interrupted whatever they were doing he wouldn't punish you for it.

With your mind made up you flung your door open the gasped seeing Ray standing on the other side. Immediately he took your breath away. Mere hours ago, his eyes still held anger and mistrust in them. Now they were softer. What in the world had happened?

“Uh…what’re you doing here?”

“We need to talk.”

You crooked your brow. Now he wanted to talk? Without waiting for your reply, Ray walked into your bedroom leaving you stunned. He couldn’t wait to get away from you before, now he was barging into the viper's den. After closing the door, you cautiously walked in. Ray was at the window scanning the perimeter. When he turned his eyes roamed over you taking in your attire. When he realized how little you had on, he turned his head then breathed out heavily.

“How did you find me?”

“I asked.”

“And everyone was so willing to give you, an outsider, the location of--.”

“The next Viper in line to rule?”

You took him in. Your father had told him.

“Your father must have given me the green light around here,” he said.

“What? After 1 conversation? What in the hell did you talk about? Did he pull a gun on you?”

“Nope. He gave me some weed.”

You gaped then shook your head because it sounded like something your father would do. “So, he gave you weed then approved your access, and bam here you are.”

“10 years of secrets. Don’t you think it’s time to come clean?”

You studied him for a few moments then sat at the foot of your bed.

“What’re you talking about?”

“I did 10 years for you. The least you could do is be honest.”

“You keep saying that like I made you take the fall, like--.”

“Like you didn’t leave me?”

“Ray you told me to run. I did!”

“Yeah, you did. You ran never looked back then disappeared.”

You pinched your nose bridge then pressed across your forehead. He had no idea.

“If I looked back I knew I wouldn’t be able to leave. I knew that we’d both get caught and then we’d both be fucked. I wanted to go back so bad Ray. I knew I could convince my father to plan a jailbreak for you before any sentencing even happened but then some of my father’s men grabbed me and the next thing I knew I was on a plane halfway across the ocean. I tried to get back. I swear I did but--.”

“Even knights are meant to be sacrificed for the queen,” Ray said in such a way that an eerie feeling washed over you.

He’d talked to your father. Those were his exact words to you when you tried to plead your case to go back for Ray or even plan a jailbreak. He’d told him everything.

“He told you.”

“Yeah, he told me.”

“And you’re still angry with me? Why?”

“There is nothing and no one that could keep me away from you. All it took was daddy’s words for you to give up on me.”

You sprang to your feet then, anger bubbling in your gut. “You don’t know my father. He would have killed you just so you weren’t a distraction for me anymore. I stayed away to keep you alive. I didn’t give up on shit. All these years I’ve been watching. All these years I’ve been trying to keep you safe. Do you have any fucking idea how exhausted I am?!”

“I don’t need your fucking protection Aria! I didn’t then and I don’t now! I—I fucking needed you!”

Your eyes were locked on his, jaw tight as a slew of emotions swirled within you. Ray was the kind of man who was quiet but expressive. When you were together those 2 years he wasn’t overtly expressive about his feelings. What he didn’t say in words, he said in plenty of other ways. However, when he used words he always took your breath away. Now, today was no different.

Slowly you watched his eyes fill with something else other than anger. Something—heart-wrenching.

“I needed you on visiting days. I needed you at nights. I needed you in the depressing darkness of the hole. I needed you in every fight, every attempt someone made to prove I was weak. I needed to know I still had you.”

Ray turned from you and looked out of the window again. Your tears fell from your eyes, and it hit you then. Yes, he was angry with you, but he was angrier at the situation you found yourselves in. Where you’d had 10 years to accept the shit, he’d just had it all flung at him. Ray’s shoulders were slouched, hanging low as if he now had all the world’s weight on them.

You wanted to touch him, but you were scared he’d shrug you off. So, you kept your distance but after a few minutes the urge became too strong, and you slowly crossed the room until you stood right behind him. Raising your hand, it took forever to close the space to his shoulder. When you laid your hand on his skin, he didn’t move or lash out.

“I felt like such a fucking fool to have burned myself for you. I took you disappearing as you proving how untrue you were that you didn’t mean anything you said. I hated you so much. I wished such horrible things on you but with every horrible wish, I felt worse and worse. I hated myself and--.”

You dipped under one of his arms that were pressed on the windowpane and came face to face with him. Holding his face in your hands you found the last of your courage.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered.

Ray raised his eyes and peered into your tear-filled ones. You repeated the words you’d wanted to say for years. You said them again and again and with each apology Ray melted. The tension in his shoulders crumbled.

“I’m sorry,” Ray croaked out.

It was your turn to melt. Within seconds of those words escaping his lips, you both crashed into one another, lips colliding for the first time in a decade. You’d often wondered if this was possible after everything, and if it were, how would it happen. Would it be slow and tender, teasing, and hesitant? It was neither. Ray kissed you with a hardness that wasn’t there 10 years ago. He kissed you as if he loved you and hated you all at once like he wanted to suck the very air from your lungs to have a piece of you with him always or to kill you so no one could ever have you. His kiss was delightful and torture, familiar but foreign.

Your lips and tongues wrestled never remaining still for long. He swirled his around yours, and you sucked his until he groaned. When Ray pressed your back against the window the hardness of his body made you whimper. This was the body of a fully grown man, not some young adult. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him closer. In response, Ray dipped down and lifted you into the air so you could wrap your legs around his waist.

All of this was muscle memory. Your body never forgot him. How could it? He’d been your first in so many things. You bit down on his bottom lip dragging a fierce groan from him. Ray pressed into you giving you the first feel of his hardness.

“Fuck!”

Like a command received, Ray quickly yanked open your robe then cupped your breasts. His hands were rough, calloused, and larger than you remember. Using his thumbs he flicked your hardened nipples sending jolts of pleasure through you that settled in your core and turned to molten lava.

“Now! I can’t wait anymore,” you rushed out in between kisses.

Ray must have felt the same urgency because he released your breasts then lowered his hands to fumble with his pants. As he freed himself then kicked the pants off they went across the room and banged into one of the lamps bringing it clattering to the floor. With the room in half darkness, Ray locked eyes with you and a second later he split you in half sending his large, thick cock to the hilt.

“Aah! Fuck!”

Ray shuddered as he pressed his forehead to your collar. When he pulled back he rammed himself inside of you again making you throw your head back into the window.

“Ugh!”

His thrusts started slow and punishing. Each quick flick of his hips sent a powerful message that both your brain and body received. You held on to him afraid he’d disappear and you’d realize this was yet another dream. His hands tightened around your hips then he moved you against him, so he was directing his hardness into you the way he wanted, the speed he wanted. Every time he sank into you, your body shook, and goosebumps peppered your skin.

Soon, you both were panting, grunting, and groaning as you fucked right in front of the window not caring who could see. He turned, leaning his back on the wall as he locked eyes with where your bodies were joined.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck! Uuuugh!”

“Fuck me, Ray. Fuck me!”

That was just what he did. His thrusts were unrelenting, his power all-encompassing and with every minute your pleasure became so intense you knew you would break in half once you came. Ray tightened his grip then moved you more forcefully against him losing all control. The veins in his neck protruded as he lost himself to the pleasure you were sure he could only find with you.

You felt him walking across the room then your positioning changed as he sat you on top of him.

“Take all this dick, Aria!”

He slapped your ass, and it was all the encouragement you needed. You planted your hands on his shoulder then slowly lifted your body up only to slide back down. He felt so good. Ray dropped his head back and closed his eyes. Every time he almost slipped from your heat he bit down on his bottom lip. Then when you sank down on him his nose scrunched. Soon you were bouncing on him using the power and skill of your hips and ass.

Ray gripped your derriere, spread your cheeks then thrust up.

“Mmm!”

That one thrust unlocked something inside of you, something rabid and primal. Raising onto your feet you bounced on him increasing your speed until sweat rolled down your bodies. You pressed your lips to his and kissed him with as much heat as you felt within. It was heat he returned.

“Mm, I’ve missed your tight little pussy.”

Locking eyes with him you bit his bottom lip. “Show me.”

Ray stood, pulled you off him then pushed you over the chair so your ass was propped up like a gift for him. Without warning he slammed into you making you fling your head back. Ray’s hand wrapped around your throat as he held you in the position you were in. With your back arched creating a ‘u’ shape along your spine he lowered his lips to your upside-down ones and kissed you senseless. When he pulled his lips from yours he fucked into you with reckless abandon. Every stroke make you shout his name and every time you did he only fucked you harder and harder.

In no time at all you were seeing stars and your body was begging for mercy. You didn’t dare listen though. When you felt his teeth sinking into your shoulder you screamed from the pain but your body convulsed from the pleasure.

“Still like a little pain with your pleasure huh.”

Ray pulled from your body. You turned to him on shaky legs and peered at him through lust-clouded eyes. He hoisted you into the air again then slid you down on his length. Again you kissed him as he began his torturous pleasure all over again. When you tasted copper, you pulled back to realize you’d bitten his lip and drawn blood. Ray smirked then slammed you into a wall and jackhammered into you.

“Yes!”

“Is this still my pussy, Aria?”

“Yes.”

“Do I still own it?”

“Yes!”

“Ah, ah, ah!”

With each thrust, you could feel his body shaking. He was close and you wanted everything from him. You were tired of the last 10 years of longing. You wanted everything now.

“I love you, Ray.”

His brow quirked then his face scrunched and that was when you felt him release deep inside of you. It was a release that triggered yet another orgasm from you and brought darkness with it as your body exploded.

When you opened your eyes you were in your bed naked and sore.

“What the--.”

“Welcome back.”

Beside the bed, Ray sat just as naked as you. It all came back then, and you couldn’t hide the smile that spread across your face.

“Was I too rough?”

You glanced at his chest and saw the blood soaking the bandages. You jerked up. “What happened?”

“I’m fine. Some of the stitches popped.”

You slowly looked around the room and saw everything was in disarray. Lamps were broken on the floor, sheets and clothes littered everywhere, broken glass and furniture were here and there, and blood was smeared on some of the walls and your body.

You snorted, “Just like old times I see.”

Ray smirked.

“I’m sorry,” Ray began.

“Don’t. Let’s stop with the apologies here and now. No more. We missed so much time, so much was missed out on. I don’t want to miss it anymore. I don’t want to keep going like this Ray. I can’t. I miss you so fucking much I can’t breathe. I’ve loved you for 12 years and I don’t see it ever changing.”

Ray walked over to you, his hard cock bobbing in the air. Once beside the bed, he took your hands and raised you to your knees so you were in front of him. When his hand cupped your cheek you melted.

“This is the second time I’ve lost everything. Now I have nothing else, and I don’t want to lose you again. I can’t.”

His hand slid to the back of your neck to cup your skull. “I have loved you since I was 20 years old. A decade later not a damn thing has changed. I will love you for the rest of my life.”

Your tear slipped from your eye and Ray’s thumb swiped it away.

“Do you mean that? Do you forgive me?”

“I mean it.”

Rau brought your face closer and gazed deeper into your eyes.

“‘Till the end Imma ride wit’ you. There’s nothing to forgive.”

You scrunched your face and tried to contain yourself. “Ray,” you whispered, voice full of emotion.

“Tell me again,” he pleased.

You pressed your forehead to his. “I love you Ray Merrimen. “I got you. ‘Till the end Imma ride wit’ you.”

He smiled and then pulled you into a searing kiss, a kiss that revived your very heart and set your soul on fire. This man was all you wanted and all you would ever need.

“Your father offered me a spot here. He said the role is up to you though.

You held your breath waiting for him to finish.

“I want it. So tell me what role you want me to have?”

“You cupped his bearded jaw.

“I want you next to me.”

He smiled then slowly nodded.

“As your knight?”

You pulled him closer.

“As the king in my den because every queen needs a king.”

Ray laid you down then climbed on top of you ready to make you blackout again but a knock on your door stopped him.

“What?”

“It’s here,” Uki’s voice sounded.

You smiled. “I got you a present.”

“What present?”

“Come.”

The two of you dressed, you in your robe and Ray only in his pants. He didn’t even bother cleaning up the blood off his skin. you like it, he looked fierce. Once you made it outside to the center of the compound, the men had gathered. You glanced at Uki who smirked and nodded at you clearly knowing what had gone down and that Ray would now be a permanent face around here.

“What’s going on?”

“Consider this your welcome present. A token of my undying love.”

The men parted to reveal someone kneeling in the center with a burlap bag over their head. Ray looked at you with confusion.

“Open your present, my king.”

Ray approached the body then yanked off the burlap and came face to face with Donnie. When Donnie looked up at him the terror in his eyes faded.

“Ray—Ray help me. What the fuck is going on?”

Ray looked back at you, and you smiled wider nodding at him. You approached and stood beside him.

“Who’s this?”

“The Viper.”

Donnie’s eyes widened. You loved when your family’s reputation preceded you.

“Fuck, wha—wha—.”

“Shh. I’m not going to hurt you.”

“You’re not?”

“No. I have no quarrel with you. It’s him you have to worry about.”

Donnie looked at Ray again. You leaned forward to Donnie’s ear.

“He knows what you did. He knows everything you did,” you whispered.

Donnie now looked horrified. You smiled when you stood upright again then laughed.

“Ray look man don’t listen to her. She’s lying. I didn’t have anything to do with any of that. Shit just went south. I don’t know how Nick knew about the heist. I don’t know how the money went missing.”

“How did you know the money went missing if everyone who knew that is dead?”

Donnie stuttered at Ray’s question. He’d given himself away.

“Fuck. I’m sorry man. I just--.”

“Shhh,” you repeated. “What was it that you like to say—oh right. You’re in complete control of your environment?”

He looked like he was ready to piss himself. You smirked deviously. “Guess what. You’re in my environment. You always have been in my environment. My den sees and hears everything.”

Ray stared at Donnie with so much anger that you wondered how he’d handle this. Donnie was the reason his brothers were dead. He looked at you.

“Whatever you want,” you said.

Ray nodded then kissed you sloppily making you moan. He then pressed his forehead to yours.

“Gun.”

You repeated the order and took the gun that was given to you to hand to Ray. Donnie then began pleading using every slick word he could find to plead with Ray not to do it.

“I’ll get you the money back.”

“How can you give something you don’t have? I took the money back already.”

Donnie dropped to the ground realizing he had nothing left.

“You got my brothers killed. Do you know what happens to those dropped in a viper’s den?”

“Ray man please.”

“They get bit!”

You watched as Ray released bullet after bullet into Donnie. He didn’t stop until the bullets stopped and the gun clicked over and over and over, and Donnie lay dead on the ground. He dropped his head back and stared into the night sky.

“It’s done. Rest up brothers,” Ray said into the night.

You looked up and saw Razu standing across the way. his eyes wide and jaw clenched tight. You smiled then wrapped yourself around Ray who wrapped his arm possessively around you.

“Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”

“I mean it Aria. You’ve done so much. Thank you.”

You touched his cheek and then kissed him. “I told you. I got you. ‘Till the end Imma ride wit’ you.”

Ray pressed his lips to your forehead then the two of you turned to go back inside.

“Aria! I challenge you and that white abomination!”

You smirked and took the gun Uki handed to you, ever prepared for the shit that could rise. You turned, took aim, and shot quicker than he could realize what had happened. Your shot rang true sending the bullet dead center in Razu’s head.

“Spies and traitors don’t have the right to challenge. Uki will show you all the man Razu was.

She pressed a button on her wrist and the screens around played Razu’s dirty dealings within the den. Everyone whispered words of admonishment as they spat at and on Razu’s dead body.

“Let it be known that as of today I am his, and he is mine. If anyone objects speak now.”

Not a soul spoke and from the corner of your eye, you saw your father standing high above it all watching the events unfold. You held his gaze for a few moments and caught the smile on his lips. He nodded then pressed a kiss to his fingertips and sent it your way. His approval. It was 12 years later but better late than never.

Once you’d returned to your bedroom and ravaged each other thoroughly, you both laid there staring at each other both afraid to sleep for fear it was all a dream. Ray reached out and caressed your cheek.

“I promise to be loyal to you, to love you, and always come back for you.”

You smiled. “I promise to be loyal to you, love you and always come back for you.”

He rolled onto you and captured your lips.

“This is forever, Aria.”

“Forever.”

~End~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[traumacatholic]

Can you please pray for me im suffering too much and i am very suicidal. Thank you so so much. <3

Of course, may God bless you and have mercy on you. May He send you the comfort and strength that you need. Please also do try your best to reach out to people in your life about this, preferably a doctor if possible or look into a mental health support service that you can call or send an email to. It's always a good idea to have multiple forms of support that are aware of how you're currently feeling. And charitable mental health resources might be able to help you to engage with accessible resources and support. I know that at least here, some of them do offer workshops or free counselling and support that you can access.

I'm going to attach some prayers under the read more, hopefully some of them will be of help to you. Please also check my mental health tag, as I do share a lot of workbooks and other resources and apps that you might find beneficial to engage with. A lot of these resources are free.

Prayer against Depression: Prayer to the Mother of God

O my beloved Queen, my hope, O Mother of God, protector of orphans and protector of those who are hurt, the saviour of those who perish, and the consolation of all who are in distress: Thou seest my misery, thou seeset my sorrow and my loneliness. Help me; I am powerless. Give me strength. Thou knowest what I suffer, thou knowest my grief. Lend me thy hand, for who else can be my hope but thee, my protector and my intercessor before God? I have sinned before thee and before all people. Be thou my Mother, my consoler, my helper. Protect me and save me; chase grief away from me; chase away my lowness of heart and my despondency. Help me, O Mother of my God!

Prayer against Depression and Sorrow

O Greatly-merciful Master, Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me and cleanse me from every sadness and disturbance and cowardice. Drive away from me every spiritual choking and demonic sorrow, that I sense in my body and my soul. For You are our Joy, and the Hope of all the ends of the earth, and those far off at sea. Be merciful to me, O Master, upon my sins. Take from me the heavy burden of sin and despair. Drive far away from me every sadness and laziness. Confirm me in Your Love, and with unassailable hope and unshakable faith in You, through the intercessions of Your Spotless Mother, and all Your Saints. Amen.

Prayer for Mental Health

O Master, Lord my God, in Whose hands is my destiny: Help me according to Thy mercy, and leave me not to perish in my transgressions, nor allow me to follow them who place desires of the flesh over those of the spirit. I am Thy creation; disdain not the work of Thy hands. Turn not away; be compassionate and humiliate me not, neither scorn me, O Lord, as I am weak. I have fled unto Thee as my Protector and God. Heal my soul, for I have sinned against Thee. Save me for Thy mercy's sake, for I have cleaved unto Thee from my youth; let me who seeks Thee not be put to shame by being rejected by Thee for mine unclean actions, unseemly thoughts, and unprofitable remembrances. Drive away from me every filthy thing and excess of evil. For Thou alone art holy, alone mighty, and alone immortal, in all things having unexcelled might, which, through Thee, is given to all that strive against the devil and the might of his armies. For unto Thee is due all glory, honor and worship: To the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, now and ever, and unto ages of ages. Amen (source)

Prayer to St. Anastasia the Greatmartyr

O holy saint Anastasia, healer and minister to captives, who did suffer greatly as a martyr while relieving the suffering of the poor and the sick, pray for us who are ill in soul and in body. Relieve us by your intercessions from the illnesses of our minds, from all evil temptation that seeks to disturb us, and from the suffering of our many afflictions. We ask these things boldly of you as you boldly approach the throne of our Lord Jesus Christ who alone is the Healer and Lover of Mankind. Amen.

Your lamb Anastasia, calls out to You, O Jesus, in a loud voice: ‘I love You, my Bridegroom, and in seeking You I endure suffering. In baptism, I was crucified so that I might reign in You, and I died so that I might live with You. Accept me as a pure sacrifice, for I have offered myself in love.’ Through her prayers save our souls, since You are merciful.

Prayers to Saint Dymphna (These can be said individually, or you could put them all together)

I turn to you, dear virgin and martyr, confident of your power with God and of your willingness to take my cause into your hands. I praise and bless the Lord for giving you to us as patron of the nervous and emotionally disturbed. I firmly hope that through your kind intercession He will restore my lost serenity and peace of mind. May He speak to my heart and reassure me: "My peace I give you. Let not your heart be troubled nor let it be afraid." Pray for me, dear St. Dymphna, that my nervous and emotional turmoil may cease, and that I may again know serenity and personal peace. Amen.

I appeal to you in my illness, dear St. Dymphna. I would be so grateful for a total and happy recovery, for the blessed gift of health in every fiber of my being. May the Lord Jesus, who mercifully healed the sick during His earthly days, have pity on me and make me well again. Ask Him to command sickness to depart and grant me a full measure of health, that I may rejoice in giving Him glory and praise. Amen.

Glorious St. Dymphna, you are the patron of the nervous and emotionally disturbed. I am certain, however, that your charity embraces everyone. I am certain that you lend a listening ear to any prayer offered for any special need. You will, I am sure, take my problem to heart and pray for me that it may be happily settled. (Here mention your special problem or difficulty.) You will plead for me and obtain the help I need. Already I offer you my sincere and grateful thanks, so great is my confidence that God will hear and answer your prayers. Amen. St. Dymphna, Virgin and Martyr, pray for us. St. Dymphna, patron of nervous and emotional illnesses, pray for us. St. Dymphna, crowned for the glory in heaven, pray for us. St. Dymphna, faithful to your covenant with Christ, pray for us. St. Dymphna, precious in the eyes of the Lord, pray for us. St. Dymphna, our helper in every need, pray for us. St. Dymphna, our friend at heave's court, pray for us.

[orthodoxadventure]

I ask for a prayer. I've been dealing with increased anger and anxiety recently. Certainly a symptom of neglecting my spiritual needs the past few months. If you will, pray that I get back on the right path. Please and thank you. God bless.

I'm sorry to hear that you've been struggling with anxiety and anger recently, and I pray that both of these things improve for you. Of course I will keep you in my prayers.

Some prayers you might find helpful are under the readmore

Prayer Against Fear

O Greatly-merciful Master, Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me and cleanse me from every sadness and disturbance and cowardice. Drive away from me every spiritual choking and demonic sorrow, that I sense in my body and my soul. For You are our Joy, and the hope of all the ends of the earth, and those far off at sea. Be merciful to me, O Master, upon my sins. Take from me the heavy burden of sin and despair. Drive far away from me every sadness and laziness. Confirm me in Your Love, and with unassailable hope and unshakable faith in You, through the intercessions of Your Spotless Mother, and all Your Saints. Amen.

Another Prayer Against Fear

O Master, Lord my God, in Whose hands is my destiny:  Help me according to Thy mercy, and leave me not to perish in my transgressions, nor allow me to follow them who place desires of the flesh over those of the spirit.

I am Thy creation; disdain not the work of Thy hands. Turn not away; be compassionate and humiliate me not, neither scorn me, O Lord, as I am weak. I have fled unto Thee as my Protector and God. Heal my soul, for I have sinned against Thee. Save me for Thy mercy’s sake, for I have cleaved unto Thee from my youth; let me who seeks Thee not be put to shame by being rejected by Thee for mine unclean actions, unseemly thoughts, and unprofitable remembrances. Drive away from me every filthy thing and excess of evil.

For Thou alone art holy, alone mighty, and alone immortal, in all things having unexcelled might, which, through Thee, is given to all that strive against the devil and the might of his armies. For unto Thee is due all glory, honor and worship:  To the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, now and ever, and unto ages of ages. Amen

Prayer Against Adversity

Dear heavenly Lord, It’s as if I take One step forward and Two steps back. Things go wrong In the most unexpected ways. It seems like the whole world Works against me sometimes. And my failure ties me up in knots. Yet I know one thing, For Your Word has told me, That I am not alone. So once again I call out to You, Rise up, oh Lord, rise up! Strike down the resistance and fear That seek to silence my faith. Give me strength and clarity To continue, no matter How hard the wind blows against me. I believe in Your promise. You will not abandon me. I trust in the resurrection That sets my soul free. You are my almighty God And I am Your beloved child. Christ won this for me Upon the cross. Only by Your grace, According to Your holy will, In Jesus name, Amen.

Prayer to Overcome Panic Attacks

Lord, I come to You and I thank You for drawing near to me when I draw near to You. To think that You are mindful of me — it overwhelms my soul. But Lord, today my spirit is heavy and my body is weak. I cannot bear the weight of this anxiety and panic any longer. I recognize I can’t get through this alone, and I pray against the very active enemy who is trying to shake my faith and tear us apart. Help me stand strong in You. Fortify these weary bones and remind me of the truth that this pain and panic will not last forever. It will pass.

Fill me with Your joy, peace and perseverance, Father. Restore my soul and break the chains of anxiety and panic that bind me. I trust You with my panic and I know that You have the power to take it all away. But even if You don’t, I know I don’t have to be a slave to my fear. I can rest in the shadow of Your wings and I will rise and overcome by Your unwavering strength. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Bless My Enemies, O Lord

Bless my enemies, O Lord. Even I bless them and do not curse them.

Enemies have driven me into your embrace more than friends have.

Friends have bound me to earth, enemies have loosed me from earth and have demolished all my aspirations in the world.

Enemies have made me a stranger in worldly realms and an extraneous inhabitant of the world. Just as a hunted animal finds safer shelter than an unhunted animal does, so have I, persecuted by enemies, found the safest sanctuary, having ensconced myself beneath your tabernacle, where neither friends nor enemies can slay my soul.

Bless my enemies, O Lord. Even I bless them and do not curse them.

They, rather than I, have confessed my sins before the world.

They have punished me, whenever I have hesitated to punish myself. They have tormented me, whenever I have tried to flee torments. They have scolded me, whenever I have flattered myself. They have spat upon me, whenever I have filled myself with arrogance.

Bless my enemies, O Lord, Even I bless them and do not curse them.

Whenever I have made myself wise, they have called me foolish. Whenever I have made myself mighty, they have mocked me as though I were a dwarf. Whenever I have wanted to lead people, they have shoved me into the background. Whenever I have rushed to enrich myself, they have prevented me with an iron hand. Whenever I thought that I would sleep peacefully, they have wakened me from sleep. Whenever I have tried to build a home for a long and tranquil life, they have demolished it and driven me out.

Truly, enemies have cut me loose from the world and have stretched out my hands to the hem of your garment.

Bless my enemies, O Lord. Even I bless them and do not curse them.

Bless them and multiply them; multiply them and make them even more bitter against me:

so that my fleeing to You may have no return; so that all hope in men may be scattered like cobwebs; so that absolute serenity may begin to reign in my soul; so that my heart may become the grave of my two evil twins, arrogance and anger; so that I might amass all my treasure in heaven; ah, so that I may for once be freed from self-deception, which has entangled me in the dreadful web of illusory life.

Enemies have taught me to know what hardly anyone knows, that a person has no enemies in the world except himself.

One hates his enemies only when he fails to realize that they are not enemies, but cruel friends.

It is truly difficult for me to say who has done me more good and who has done me more evil in the world: friends or enemies.

Therefore bless, O Lord, both my friends and enemies.

A slave curses enemies, for he does not understand. But a son blesses them, for he understands. For a son knows that his enemies cannot touch his life. Therefore he freely steps among them and prays to God for them.

[deathsplaything]

Bide Thy Tongue || Alistair & Mercy

LOCATION: The Sugar Pot TIMING: Recent PARTIES: Alistair & Mercy (@disengagedspirit) SUMMARY: Mercy comes to Apologize, and Alistair gives her information.

It had been a while since Mercy had ventured out to Alistiar, but the way she had left things wasn’t sitting well with her. Sure, her good Christian days were over considering she could no longer pray nor ask for forgiveness. But it wasn’t for trying. No, instead, she’d have to face the man, she felt like she had judged so harshly, in person, and apologize on her own. A hard thing she had come to find out when navigating life without a higher power to guide her.

So, once more, with the use of Magistra Google, Mercy found herself winding down the familiar path she had taken not so long ago hoping that Alistair would be present. And when she arrived, rather than entering on her own, she wrapped lightly on the door with her knuckles and lowered her head; hands now clasped in front of her and ready to admit her judgy ways and issue the man an apology.

—

The days since the eclipse were bleeding into one another, and Alistair’s ability to differentiate night and day was getting harder as a result. Well, not that he couldn’t tell, it’s that he just didn’t care. So he’d not come in when the shop was open lately, and instead would show up at night to do the ordering and virtual inventory counts. It was inefficient, and Melody was getting annoyed, but at least he was getting his job done. He was typing away on the work laptop when someone knocked on the front of the shop.

Alistair frowned, all the lights were off except for the glow of the laptop in the back of the room. They knew he was closed. He let out a sigh, then headed for the front of the shop, Brutus getting up from his dog bed to lead the way for his owner. He unlocked the door and opened it a hair, enough to hear the person on the other side. “Who’s there?” He asked, expression hardened and wary.

_____

Standing quietly, Mercy waited, until she heard the sounds of footsteps followed by seeing Alistair coming to the door. When he had unlocked it and barely pushed it forward, much like she did when people would visit Caleb, Mercy stepped back slightly and took in a slow, quivering breath, “Tis I. Mercy Williams. I have come to apologize for my previous actions, when you were only trying to show me kindness. May I enter your place of business?”

Mercy would respect whatever his wishes were. She wasn’t there to judge, only to apologize. But she also wasn’t there to beg. Something, even in her former life she had rarely been known to do. She had simply wanted to sit down with him and explain herself and allow him to further explain himself. He had given her a chance, and she knew second chances were only, but by the grace of the bestower.

_____

When the voice sounded out, Alistair recognized her immediately. When she spoke her name, he nodded his head slowly. Why was she here? She had every right to leave and never speak to him again, yet she did so anyway. He frowned as she spoke, apologizing and asking to enter. Alistair narrowed his gaze, suspicious for a moment. She was asking for entry, which confirmed some suspicions he’d previously had. “Right.” he replied before taking a step back to allow her to come in. “Come on in, then.” He muttered, ushering her inside with a wave of his hand. 

“You have no reason to want to be near me. In fact if you were to meet any other necromancer, I would advise you to stay away from them.” He told her as he closed the door to his shop, locking behind himself so no one else would come in outside business hours. “Don’t want any customers at this hour,” he explained to her after the lock clicked. 

“So do you have questions or something?” He asked, awkwardly stood in the middle of his shop with a hand shoved in his pants pocket, the other wrapped around Brutus’s lead. “I can answer them, it’ll give you an idea of what you’d be up against if you came into contact with a necromancer. If you have questions about what you are, I’m not sure I have a good view on things. Better than learning from a prejudiced slayer, though I suppose.” he mused, brows furrowing before he walked back over to where his laptop was, sitting down in front of it. “Come, sit.” 

Mercy stepped inside upon his allowance. She had felt ashamed for her actions toward him. Upon her arrival in Wicked’s Rest, he had been the second person she had interacted with; Caleb being the first. And he warned her of the dangers that lurked around town, “I hath come to offer my apologies for how I treated thee. I must profess that is reason enough to want to be near thee.”

The vampire watched as Alistair locked up once more. Mercy knew it was inconsiderate to visit him at this hour. It was late and inappropriate to be visiting someone, when they had no proper warning of her intentions, but the times were different. She was different, and making an appearance during the daylight hour would have been nearly impossible for her, “Thankee for accommodating my request at this late hour in the day.” She lowered her head.

Pondering his question and the inquiry of necromancers, Mercy thought for a moment. She wasn’t sure what to ask him. All of this was still untouched territory for her, but she was here, and it would be rude to waste his time, “Nay. If I am being truly honest, I only came to apologize, but I will not pass on the opportunity to learn more of these…necromancers.” She moved to the small table and took a seat across from him, “Whatever knowledge can be spared by thee, I would be grateful.”

As the woman stepped inside, Alistair frowned. She had no reason to return knowing what she did, no reason to want to come anywhere near him. “I understand why you reacted the way you did,” he responded plainly. “I could exert total control over you, you have every reason to fear me.” When she gave her true intentions, Alistair nodded slowly. “Most necromancers would keep their information to themselves, especially to an undead.” He spoke, sitting across from the woman with a curious expression on his face. 

He let out a tired sigh, knowing that she had the right to know whatever he could tell her. “A simple spell can exert total control over you for a few minutes, a more complex spell can last days, even weeks if they’re skilled enough and have the proper ingredients.” He crossed a leg over the other, keeping his hands clasped together. “I’ve used such a spell before, I will be honest. One to save someone else’s life, once to save my own.” He sighed, shaking his head. “You have every right to be afraid, and you should be. I could kill you before you had time to register what was happening.” His tone was serious. “There are other necromancers around, but I don’t really know them. I don’t like them.” 

He turned his head to the side, lost in thought for a moment. “I come from a powerful family of necromancers from the Scottish Highlands, we were trained to be the best. I was the best. But I didn’t want it. I left Scotland, came to New York. I was tracked down. People don’t like necromancers, and I understand why.” He shrugged his shoulders, turning his gaze back to the woman in front of him. “You can’t really defend yourself against a necromancer, you just have to pray that you can be faster than the spell they cast.” He explained in a serious manner, unseeing eyes fixed on hers. 

_____

Mercy listened intently as he spoke and explained what necromancers could do, but with each passing moment, she could feel a pit of worry forming in her stomach. Growing up in a time of accusations that could result in a noose around your neck or worse had left Mercy fearful. Even after all the years she spent underground, but now, learning that there were people who could control her with magic and even end her undead life had worried her even more.

Alistair had been kind in her inquiry explaining himself and the things that were possible. Things that she might have doubted in another lifetime, but not here. Not now. She had already witnessed way too much in a short amount of time. This time period, more advanced in so many ways, had left her feeling lonelier than ever, despite having Caleb around, “I can only thank thee for being truthful when I understand such confessions could put thee at risk for divulging secret information. I shall heed thy warning. Have you any questions for me?”

The conversation the pair had previously shared had resulted in Mercy telling about her past, and though she had spilled quite a bit of useful information, Alistair did not seem as though he had intended on threatening her or her life. She did, afterall return back to his place of business to apologize, giving him the opportunity to harm her if he had pleased. 

_____

It was in times like this that Alistair wished that they could see the expression on Mercy’s face. It was a lot for a person to take in. It was even more when said person could easily be under his control. “You have every right to be afraid of me.” He told her, letting his head drop down a bit as he felt a pang of shame for what he was. “Know that unless you actively tried to kill me or someone else, I wouldn’t use it.” He held his hands up, showing he meant no harm. “But I understand if this is knowledge you’d rather not have on me.” He scratched the back of his neck, feeling uncomfortable. 

Then, Mercy asked if he had any questions for him. But if she wanted to tell him what life was like when she was from, then she’d talk about it. It wasn’t for Alistair to pry on. “Can’t say that I do.” He spoke instead, giving a forced smile as he crossed one leg over the other, trying to appear relaxed instead of on edge. The last thing she needed was for a necromancer to lose their cool around her. 

“In truth, I know much about your kind. Your aversion to sunlight, namely your weaknesses.” He raised a brow as he looked back up at her with unseeing eyes. “That’s how I was brought up. Know who I’m able to control, who I’m able to bring under my heel.” He turned away, a snarl on his lips. “That’s what you have to worry about, the necromancers who act the way that they should. Not me. They’re out there, and they’re dangerous, you understand me?” He really wanted to make that point known, thinking back to the time he’d controlled Zofia without so much as a thought. The time that he’d almost been killed by a bezkost, and that hunter had sounded disgusted with his actions. It was to save himself, why didn’t people understand that? 

He sighed, leaning back in his seat. “If you feel a need to leave, I get it.” Alistair said instead, arms still crossed firmly over his chest. “You don’t need to force yourself to stay. You’ve apologized when you didn’t need to. All I ask is that you be careful about what’s out there.”

_____

Mercy was trying to wrap her head around the dangers of being around him, but she had been painted a limited picture of what witchcraft really was. And until she had found herself in the situation of feeding on blood to survive, Mercy hadn’t truly believed that witches existed. The Salem Witch Trials had been a lot of false claims made by angry people. Political in nature. So it had been hard for her to believe the side of the innocent, when the accused were being unfairly executed at the hands of sinister men and women with their own personal motives; much like her ex-best friend had.

“Thankee for the warning. I shall heed thy advice.” Mercy could tell that Alistair was uncomfortable. That he wasn’t supposed to speak of such things around her, and the slight snarl she caught as he turned his head was sign enough that she should probably take her leave. He knew what she was and what she could do. Knew more about the abomination she had become than even more so than she did. But it did seem she had one more person on her side, even if it was a dangerous ally at best.

Standing up, she bowed her head once more, as if he could see her, “I shall take my leave then. I thank thee for thy time and understanding. Again my sincerest apologies for any offense taken by mine actions. Good day, Sir.” Mercy turned and quietly left the shop leaving nothing but the bell over the door to signal her exit.

_____

Alistair sat where he was for a long moment, trying to decipher the motive the girl would have for seeking him out. Of course, it was always important to know what could get you when you least expect it. Since when had they grown so soft towards the undead? Since when did they care what happened to them? Who was the cause, and why? Alistair got up from their seat and walked over to the door, locking it. They let out an annoyed sigh and walked back to their seat, what they were doing there at work in the first place long since forgotten. 

“I need to stop giving them a pass,” they muttered to themselves, holding onto the crystal pendant they wore around their neck. Mercy was polite but naive. It would have been easy to snuff her out as plain as day. But they didn’t do it. Just like they hadn’t with Zofia. Something was deeply wrong with them, and it sunk into their core, festering. If their family ever found out what they’d become, they’d be done for. Alistair frowned at the thought, reminding themselves that as long as they were safe in Maine, the McKenzie family wouldn’t come for them. They were safe, but for how long?

[crossdressingdeath]

I really hope that TSatS features Nico and Will having so many issues around being complicit in Octavian's death, and Nico in addition having so many issues around killing Bryce. On Octavian's end these are children complicit in a gruesome death; necessary or no, that sort of thing's going to stick with them! Especially since as far as we see they never tell anyone about it (Nico might have told Dionysus during their therapy sessions, but as far as I can remember that's not confirmed), which means the only people they can discuss the whole thing with is each other. ...Or I guess Michael Kahale—assuming he's still alive post-ToA, since that's not actually confirmed—but I feel like the understanding between him and them is probably that they Do Not Acknowledge It, assuming they ever see each other at all. Anyway. I'm sure being able to share the weight of what they were part of between the two of them would help, but... well, sharing the burden of being a teenager traumatized by your part in a brutal death with another teenager traumatized by their part in said brutal death is only going to do so much. And I feel like more specifically the fact that Will is a healer would make the whole situation so much worse for him; knowingly standing by and letting someone die knowing he could easily save them would be hard for any hero, but for someone who's dedicated to healing people? Yeesh.

And of course on top of that... Bryce's death is a really cool and dramatic scene that goes way harder than I'd expect a children's book to go, but it's also absolutely horrific. Partially because Nico turns him into a ghost with zero sign of hesitation and that is so much, but I feel like for Nico partially because he doesn't remember it. Like, the fact that he has no memory of killing Bryce gets glossed over in BoO, but he turned a guy into a ghost with no hesitation or mercy and he doesn't remember. He was really angry at Bryce for threatening Reyna, and the next thing he knew the guy was dead (and he'd been knocked out for three days). He has no idea how he did it or even what he was thinking at the time! He was either out of control of his own actions or he wanted to kill Bryce, and he has no way of finding out which. That would be a terrifying thought: either he's a willing murderer (while him killing Bryce was to save Reyna and Hedge and I fully agree with it, it was absolutely murder in a way Octavian's death isn't, Bryce was completely powerless and begging for mercy by the end there) or his powers can hijack his body and push him into doing things that he would never do of his own free will, and he'll probably never know which. Which does beg the question of if anything could set him off like that again, which I feel like is something that would weigh on Nico. I'd love to see him admit that he's actually really scared that something will push him over the edge again and either he'll lose control of his powers and kill someone else or (possibly worse) discover that he was in control when he killed Bryce and did it because he wanted to. Now, I don't think Nico could turn someone into a ghost just like that, my theory is that it was only possible in Bryce's case because Bryce was threatening someone he loved using a closely held secret (which Nico understandably took rather personally) and, more importantly, he was halfway faded out of the living world already; I doubt he could've done it if he hadn't been mostly full of darkness already or if he hadn't been overwhelmed with protective fury at the threat to his dear friend. But whether or not Nico knows that is unclear; I can see him being terrified at the very thought that it's possible that he could snap and kill someone again.

Basically given how TSatS seems like it's going to be largely about All The Trauma, it would feel like a huge failure on Rick's part to not go into how being responsible for Octavian's death absolutely would've fucked Will and Nico up, and also how directly killing Bryce absolutely would've fucked Nico up. If I'm remembering right, setting aside Luke's death—Percy and Annabeth supplied the weapon he stabbed himself with, but I wouldn't call them complicit in it the way Will, Nico and Michael are complicit in Octavian's death since it was entirely Luke's decision in the end—Will and Nico (and Michael Kahale but he's not important currently assuming he's even still alive) are the only protagonists knowingly and willingly complicit in another demigod's death, and Nico is the only protagonist to actively kill another demigod! I can accept them not talking about it in ToA, since "Hey, we're super fucked up from the deaths we caused/played a part in and we don't know what to do about that because we're kind of sort of murderers before the age of eighteen and that's really not the sort of thing you just tell people" isn't something to drop on Will's suddenly-sixteen-and-mortal godly father without warning during a serious crisis situation and I can't see anyone they might have told about it off-page spilling the beans without permission either and when it happened Apollo was already in deep shit and so probably not paying a lot of attention to what his kid was doing, so our POV character wouldn't know about it and wouldn't find out (I know he's aware that Octavian's dead, but unless I'm forgetting something—which is. entirely possible, I should reread ToA—he doesn't know the part Will and Nico played in it). But if it doesn't come up at all in the book told entirely from their perspectives, I'm... honestly gonna be pretty pissed!

[queenmarytudor]

Mary I's Fight For The Throne

c.23rd June 1553 - Mary decides to fight back

Mary comes to the conclusion, perhaps after receiving word from the Imperial ambassador via her comptroller, that after months of rumours of her brother's ill health, he is dying and the people of his court are planning to deprive her of the throne. As Jehan Scheyfve wrote on 11th June "The Duke has formed some mighty plot against the Princess, and feels confident that he will prevail. If he does not make any attempt upon her person at first, he may well try to keep her out of the way for a time and then put the rest of his designs into execution." 1

On the 23rd June, Charles V writes to his cousin Mary informing her of an appointment of extra ambassadors in England:

I am at present sending my dear etc. Jehan de Montmorency, Sieur de Courrières, Jacques de Marnix, Sieur de Thoulouse, and Simon Renard to visit the King of England on my behalf, and have instructed them to visit you and assure you of the love and affection I have always borne you. I beg you will give them credence as you would to myself. 2

By the 4th July Mary had "been informed of their approach, and she shows the liveliest satisfaction." 3

Their appointment made "every one say openly that they have been sent on account of the Princess, to uphold her rights" 4, however it appears Mary was already privately organising her next steps.

When they arrive in London on the 6th July, the new ambassadors confirm that “Before our arrival here, and before my Lady knew your Majesty was sending us” 5 Mary “deliberated with her most confidential advisers on the course she had better adopt in case the King were to die." 6

This puts Mary's discovery and initial plan of action somewhere between the end of June and the beginning of July. She and her household decide "as soon as the King's death should be announced, she had better proclaim herself Queen by her letters, for thus she would encourage her supporters to declare for and support her.” 7

But first, they need to convince Northumberland and the Privy Councillors they are still ignorant to their actions.

Meanwhile...

A prayer for the dying King is printed and dispersed around London. 8

On the 21st June King Edward's letters patent outlining his Device for the Succession are fixed with the Great Seal. 9

On the 22nd June, King Edward's Device is signed by "eight heirs apparent of the great peers, and by lord Thomas Grey, younger brother of the duke of Suffolk; by the officers of the household ; the secretaries of state; then by the lawyers; by the remaining privy councillors; the knights of the privy chamber; and lastly by the lord mayor of London, with eighteen of the principal citizens, and the sheriffs of Middlesex, Surrey, and Kent." 10

On the 22nd June, the Dukes of Northumberland and Suffolk visit the new French ambassador, Antoine de Noailles, at night. 11

c. 20th - 24th June, while visiting the Duchess of Northumberland, Jane Grey is told that" if God should have willed to call the King to his mercy, of whose life there was no lingering hope, it would be needful for [her] to go immediately to the Tower, [she] being made by his majesty heir of his realm." 12

Jane refuses to permanently move in with the Dudley's and leave her mother behind at their family home "so that the Duchess of Northumberland was angry" 13 with her and her mother. Nevertheless, she stays for 2 or 3 nights before obtaining leave to go to Chelsea. 14

Sources:

1. Spanish State Papers, 11th June 1553

2. Spanish State Papers, 23rd June 1553

3. Spanish State Papers, 4th July 1553

4. Spanish State Papers, 4th July 1553

5. Spanish State Papers, 7th July 1553

6. Spanish State Papers, 7th July 1553

7. Spanish State Papers, 7th July 1553

8. Spanish State Papers, 24th June 1553

9. Literary remains of King Edward the Sixth

10. Literary remains of King Edward the Sixth

11. Spanish State Papers, 24th June 1553

12. The History of Mary I, Queen of England, J Stone

13. The History of Mary I, Queen of England, J Stone

14. The History of Mary I, Queen of England, J Stone

[billconrad]

Fearful Writing

    Evolution provided our minds with a healthy sense of fear. For example, we learned not to touch fire, say mean things to big strong people or walk near a cliff. Those people who did not have this healthy sense of fear were eliminated.

    Since those early days, our world has advanced, which added to our list of things we know about and must fear. Did you know it is possible for a meteorite to wipe out all life on earth? That is a pretty big thing to fear.

    Let’s start this article with a good scare. What is the most (safe) fearful activity a person can experience? How about a Halloween amusement park? A person walks through dark rooms, listens to scary noises and suddenly, an unseen hand reaches out. Boo!

    How about a less than safe experience? A person walks around an abandoned building, hangs from a tree branch, or drives recklessly. All terrifying experiences, but not too scary to read. Bob waked near a cliff. And nearly fell off! Ohhh. Scared me to death.

    So, let’s write something terrifying (that is not graphic). A person walks up to Bob, and they reveal his social security number, address, bank account balance, daily schedule, and family member names. This experience would be frightening in real life because this mysterious person knows so much.

    Let’s take this situation a step further. The mystery person tells Bob a personal detail he never revealed. Can this person read minds? Now, let’s push this situation over the edge. “Bob, that scar on your leg. I cut you on your eighth birthday.” What the heck? How did that happen? Time travel? Is this person related to Bob? Now, the push beyond insanity. The mystery person reveals that they could have harmed Bob in the past. This means that Bob is entirely at this person’s mercy—the worst possible fear.

    You can start to see the problem. This text is not scary at all, but we would be terrified beyond comprehension if this occurrence happened in real life. Somebody that can time travel and injure us in the past? Wow, there is absolutely no defense. Yikes! This might even be the absolute scariest concept that a writer can create. Yet… I cannot imagine anybody reading this article would give it a second thought. At best, a 2 out of 10?

    I am trying to convey that expressing fear in a written format is challenging. Movies provide images conveying emotions and frightening scenes with action, gore, and surprise. Audiences see fear in the actor’s expressions and hear their screams, which helps them connect with their fears. As the saying goes, a picture is worth a thousand words.

    Written stories must take a different approach. The author first connects with the reader through character development and plot building. Readers become comfortable and form emotional bonds. Only then can an author dramatically write a scary scene, hoping readers relate to this fear. This effort might require one or more chapters of build-up to achieve.

    What are some great techniques for creating written fear? Umm. I am still figuring this out. Sorry. My best approach is to do a great job of connecting with readers and slowly building suspense. Do my readers experience a good scare? Probably not, but I can confirm that my characters have a thousand times more drama than my humble life.

    For example, in one scene, two characters climb up a cliff and nearly die from falling. I have certainly never done that. I believe I successfully connected with readers in these chapters, but most people would understand that an author cannot kill off the two main characters in the second chapter. So… Not a lot of fear. Bummer.

    All emotions are challenging to convey in written form, and fear is no exception. I do my best to keep readers in suspense, but I must bring them back to a comfortable setting to continue the plot. Why? I don’t particularly appreciate reading suspenseful novels or watching horror movies. Yes, that is fear taking the driver’s seat.

    You’re the best -Bill

    September 7, 2024

    Hey book lovers, I published four. Please check them out:

    Interviewing Immortality. A dramatic first-person psychological thriller that weaves a tale of intrigue, suspense, and self-confrontation.

    Pushed to the Edge of Survival. A drama, romance, and science fiction story about two unlikely people surviving a shipwreck and living with the consequences.

    Cable Ties. A slow-burn political thriller that reflects the realities of modern intelligence, law enforcement, department cooperation, and international politics.

    Saving Immortality. Continuing in the first-person psychological thriller genre, James Kimble searches for his former captor to answer his life’s questions.

    These books are available in soft-cover on Amazon and eBook format everywhere.

[delphi-dreamin]

The First Time They Danced

Without Lucifer threatening to kill her

Word Count: 1016

This is the second part of my First Times series. This takes place at Diavolo's birthday party in S1.

“How have you enjoyed your time in the exchange program so far?” Simeon asks, his hand lightly resting on Delphi’s waist as he leads her around the dance floor.

She gazes up into his eyes, blue as sea glass, and smiles. “It’s been a wild ride,” she chuckles. “But I think things are gonna be okay from here.”

Simeon nods, his own serene smile faltering for just a moment. “I noticed you have a new pact mark. Belphegor?”

“I think it’s his way of trying to apologize,” Delphi confirms.

“Putting himself completely at your mercy does seem to be an excellent way to show remorse for his actions,” the angel muses. “There’s only one of those brothers you haven’t made a pact with yet.”

Delphi’s eyes widen. “Do you mean Lucifer?”

At Simeon’s nod, she casts her gaze down and laughs shakily, “Lucifer wouldn’t make a pact with me. Or with any human for that matter. How long has Solomon been trying? And he still hasn’t managed it?”

Simeon chuckles, “Yes, but Lucifer doesn’t trust Solomon. Most of his brothers don’t.”

“What are you saying, Simeon?” Delphi asks, searching his expression for any clues at all that might tell her what the angel might be thinking. But he’s a closed book, as usual.

Just as Simeon is opening his mouth to reply, the song ends and a red-gloved hand is tapping on his shoulder. Delphi doesn’t have to look to know who it belongs to, but she does anyway. Lucifer stands just over Simeon’s shoulder, his night-black wings spread behind him and a hint of a smirk twisting his lips as he sees her look up at him.

“May I cut in?” he asks, his tone less of a question and more of a demand.

“Of course,” Simeon replies, his serene smile back. He brings Delphi’s hand to his lips and places a delicate kiss to the back of it before whispering to her, “Don’t discount yourself.”

She can feel a blush rising in her cheeks as Lucifer bows, then takes her hand. She curtsies deeply in response, taking her position in his arms. She doesn’t expect it, though, when he pulls her flush against him, looking down at her with a wry grin.

“This dance is performed as close as possible to your partner,” he says, his tone teasing.

Delphi can feel her heart hammering in her chest so hard and fast that she’s sure Lucifer can feel it, too. She keeps her gaze turned away, whether unwilling or unable to look the eldest in the eye she isn’t sure, but if she even tries she feels her face burn even hotter. His gloved hand rests in the small of her back, and she can feel one long finger dipping dangerously close to the waistband of her dress, making her heart hammer impossibly faster.

As the music begins, Delphi realizes that she actually recognizes it. She looks up at Lucifer with wide eyes and asks, “Did you do this?”

“Did I do what?” Lucifer responds with a smirk.

The high wind and the low strings dance around each other in an almost sorrowful way as Lucifer begins to lead her around the floor. As the Cursed Lovers’ duet rings throughout the ballroom, everything else falls away, leaving only her and the eldest of the demon brothers floating around the dance floor as if on air. Everywhere their bodies meet is aflame when she finally looks up into his crimson eyes and is met with his fond smile.

Her heart flutters at the sight, his divinely sculpted features soft only for her, only in this moment. Did he know that his eyes contained volumes? That she could read the affection contained within them? Does he know how much hope it gives her? And how much it’s going to crush her when all of this ends and they’re no closer than they are now?

But as she gazes up into them, she finds she can only continue to get more and more lost in his eyes.

“You’ve truly flourished here, Delphi,” Lucifer says, voice pitched low enough that only she can hear. “The best we could have hoped for at the beginning of the program was for you to survive the year and go back home to the human world. But you truly found a place here, among my brothers and me.”

She laughs bitterly, “Not like y’all made it easy. At least one of you fought me every step of the way. More than once it was you, Lucifer.”

His answering chuckle has her stomach doing flips. “You're absolutely correct. I think the majority of the time, it was me. Some of that, I stand by.”

He spins her around in his arms, watching her brilliant smile with poorly concealed wonder until she resumes her position. He leans his head down to her until his lips are just above her ear. Softly, he mutters, “However, there are many things I’ve said and done in the last year that I deeply regret.”

“Lucifer,” Delphi breathes, a shiver running through her at his warm breath tickling her ear. She can feel goosebumps blossoming down the exposed skin of her back and arms, and a familiar warm thrum beginning on her right inner thigh. “I-“

Just as she begins, the music ends, as does their floating course around the ballroom. She sighs. Without the cover of the music, Delphi swallows back what she’d been going to say. Instead, she looks up to see him considering her, his brows furrowed. She frowns, stammering, “W-what? Do I have something on my face?”

“No,” Lucifer chuckles, releasing her from his hold. “It's nothing. You look lovely. Enjoy the rest of the evening, guest of honor.”

Delphi’s heart falls as he withdraws and she's left alone on the floor. She watches, her chest heavy, as he makes his way through the crowd to a small gathering, at the center of which is the demon prince. She lets out a bitter huff as she turns to make her own way off the dance floor.

Taglist: @sassykattery @leavesandflowers @sparkbeast20 @kyungjoon-do

Like my work? Fill out my form to be tagged when I post!

[another-corpo-rat]

Run Rabbit Run

A little something for the lovely @theviridianbunny 💕💕 Thank you for trusting me with your darling girl! She was a blast to write 🥰

Jackie Welles/OC Summary: A simple job for Wakako almost paints a target on Viridian and Jackie's back.

She loses herself easily in the lines of codes. Old habits raise their heads; her fingers move quicker than she can think. Eyes darting back and forth, back and forth.

It’s taken longer than usual to spot the pattern, to follow the threads to the knot where she can pull it loose and the laptop’s systems open themselves up to her fully. This one has been full of dead-ends, starting her with an immediately impossible grid more often than naught.

The only constant has been the employee ID on the top left of the screen. Arasaka undoubtedly, but she didn’t make a habit of memorising them. Yet as she sits back, narrowing her eyes at that series of numbers, something about it strikes her as familiar. Dangerously so.

Her fingers pause in their relentless tapping of the keys, hovering over the board as the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. There’s no one behind her aside from Jackie, but she still glances over her shoulder just to be certain. She catches his concern when she does; it wasn’t often that she would stop in the midst of an ICE-break.

“You good, V?”

“I’m—” an easy lie almost slips off her tongue, she catches it between her teeth. “No.” She admits instead, quietly pleased with how easy honesty is with him. It wasn’t like pulling teeth anymore, she didn’t have to worry about him sheathing it like a knife to drive into her back.

But that was a paranoia eased around Jackie and him alone, one she was working to extend to others in her new life. It’s difficult, but she’s trying. Still, she can’t help but ask: “Did Wakako tell you who the client stole this from?”

His lips get that little thoughtful twist to them, one that holds her gaze as he pokes through memories. He’s not happy with what he grasps, she can see that in how those lips press tight before he speaks. “Some self-important corpo, think they had the name of a bird? Can’t ‘member for sure, but she was waxing lyrical ‘bout them being a symbol of luck or something.”

Lead settles in her stomach, the heavy weight threatening to urge her lunch upwards as a chill curdles her blood.

‘Always stay two steps ahead, my dear.’ A rasp of a voice croons, low in her ear, deep in her memory. It wasn’t too long ago, two years, maybe three, that she worked with that woman. Arasaka’s Red Rabbit was known for an efficient brutality, feared for it, but if there was one who could claim the podium for cruelty it was her.

Viridian had delighted in it at the time, having an equal in skill and ferocity. In working alongside another who spared no consideration for things like mercy or morality; there was no right and wrong, just what needed to be done and who they had to cut through to do it.

Two of a kind, sharks circling their hapless prey.

“Crane?” She chances, grasping desperately to the hope she’s wrong.

But Jackie’s eyes alight with recognition, clicking his fingers as he confirms her fear; “Crane! Yeah, that’s the one.”

The name doesn’t coax the same delight it once did, taunting her instead as she slams the laptop shut. He straightens at the action, the light in his eyes gone as his brow furrows. His hands reach for her but hover, palms up in a placating motion. “Cariño?” He says gently, “You know them?”

“I- I know her. I know—” The smell of burning flesh, met with a simple click of the tongue. A dying man’s screams faltering into little more than desperate, rattling croaks.

‘It smells quite a lot like bacon, doesn’t it?’ It was different when she was in the chair. It allowed her a distance, in and out. The rabbit never lingered in fields it set aflame.

But the viper relished, and it made the rabbit look upon the violence it had helped create.

“J-Jac, we- we can’t. If we do this and she finds out—” It would be a rage Viridian might be able to weather, but it’s not her that Crane would target. It’d be Mamá Welles and Pepe, or Viktor and Misty. They’d be the ones to pay the price, a hefty thing only paid in full when they lie dead.

And for what? Some outdated data? A shard of blackmail that’d achieve nothing?

It wasn’t worth it; no amount of eddies would be worth it.

She struggles to get that rationale out; the words sit on the tip of her tongue but refuse to press forward. Jackie knows her well, sees the desperation and rests his steadying hands on her shoulders. The weight of them is familiar, comforting.

“We’ll call Wakako,” he says simply, voice calm to ease her anxieties, “tell her we can’t crack the ICE and hand the thing back.”

And it’s— simple. A reasonable excuse as any, even if she knows Wakako will meet the news with her cutting disappointment. “But you said every gig was a step towards making it big, won’t this be a step back?”

“Eh, could be,” he shrugs but his eyes are warm and a calloused thumb gentle as he trails it across her golden cyberware, “but we’ve no chance of getting there if we piss off the wrong people too soon, y’know. Ain’t gonna hurt if we err on caution now and then.”

It eases her enough to quell that sickening lurch in her stomach. “Alright,” she breathes out, trying to will the tension through her away. It vanishes completely as Jackie smiles and draws her in, tucking her head below his chin.

It’s alright. They’ll be alright.

[mlmxreader]

Force To Be Reckoned With | Alex Keller x m!reader

@satan-incarnate-666 asked: "Show them no mercy, baby” for alex x m!reader also

summary: Joint Task Force Two are not the ones to try and mess around.

tws: biting, swearing, mentions of fighting

'Meine Tränen' by Rammstein was playing loudly from where Joint Task Force Two were staying while they gathered information that they wouldn't disclose to the Americans next door on the right, but to the left, Alex and Farah were sat with Alejandro and Rodolfo and the members of Task Force One Four One, and while some had complained about the noise, the task force and its allies knew the other task force well enough to not pay it any mind; it meant that the soldiers there were in a good mood, when they played music so loud that others could hear it, it always meant that they were in a good mood, and judging from what was playing, it was easy to see who had been put in charge of the music for the night. None other than Alex's boyfriend.

You cheered loudly as your teammate, Yas, managed to hit the dart slap bang in the middle of the King of England's eye; the portrait on the wall already had plenty of holes in it from previous darts, but that didn't stop you from continuing to throw them at it in hopes to put as many holes as you could in it. Always cheering and clapping when someone got his eye, or his mouth, or better yet, his forehead. It was all just one big game to play while you waited for things to come through; your Captain, one Pat Grantly, had told you all to relax while you waited for the information to come through and to be finalised and confirmed, and you had every intention of doing just that.

But then, there was a knock at the door, and as you were closest, you went to answer it; he looked angry, brows furrowed as he folded his arms across his chest and glared at you. He tapped his foot on the ground, shaking his head when you cocked a brow at him.

"The fuck do you want?"

"You're being too loud," he leaned in uncomfortably close to look at your uniform. "Lieutenant."

You scoffed, rolling your eyes at the American before you as you scratched your jaw. "And? I don't see the guys next door having an issue."

"Well, we do," he grumbled. "We're Navy Seals, in case you forgot, and we actually have a fucking job to do, unlike you fucking lazy-"

You pushed him out of the doorway, called back to your team to tell them that you wouldn't be long, and you started to berate him and to belittle him as harshly as you could; the commotion caused quite a stir, as the lads to the left started to creep over, but the second that he saw you, Alex made his way over, and tugged you aside for a moment.

"What happened?"

"He fucking told us to turn it down," you growled. "And then started to argue. So I bit back."

Alex smiled, gently cradling your head in his hands for a moment as he tilted your head forward so that he could press a kiss to your forehead, humming sweetly. "That's my boy."

"Thanks, baby," you hummed back. "You wanna hold my phone while I kick this cunt's ass?"

Alex held out his hand, and when you slapped your phone into it, he nodded at you, and gestured to the other task force. "Me and Farah will be rooting for you, wasīm."

"Thank you," you murmured, daring to steal a quick kiss for good luck before you turned back to the American. "We gonna do this, you silly cunt?"

The American shrugged, calling over some of his friends as he laughed bitterly. "Three against one - you like those odds?"

"I do, actually," you smiled, noddding. "Alex! Baby, do you like 'em?"

"I do!" He called back, heading over to the others. "Show them no mercy, baby!"

Joint Task Force Two came over to stand with Alex and the others, cheering you on as they watched you take down the Americans one by one; none of them were prouder of you than Alex was, loudly cheering you on, singing your praises until his voice went hoarse, and telling you exactly how to do something. He was so fucking proud, loved seeing you in action knowing that he would be the one to kiss all the scrages and scrapes better; but the fight didn't last long, as the Americans fled with their tails between their legs and you turned back to the task forces, grinning.

"What do you think, baby? I do good?"

"You did amazing," Alex replied with a beaming smile, "you did so good, hayati!"

You went over to him, letting him jump into your arms as he wrapped his legs around you and peppered you in dozens of little kisses, each time his moustache tickling you ever so softly and making you laugh as you held onto him tightly; only daring to put him down so that you could wrap your arm around his waist, keeping him close as you kissed his cheek.

"My lucky charm... ain't you, Echo?"

"Yeah," Alex smiled, blushing as he leaned into your side and made himself comfortable with his arm around you. "Am I your favourite lucky charm, though?"

"Yeah," you chuckled. "Yeah, you're my favourite lucky charm."

"Say," Yas piped up, clearing her throat. "Why don't you lot come join us? We got music, drinks... only thing is that Price'll have to stand outside to smoke."

You looked at Alex, raising your brow. "You wanna come party with the winners?"

Alex grinned as he nodded, rubbing the tip of his nose against yours. "You know I do."

Eagerly, you picked him back up, holding onto his thighs as you carried him back, leading the way as you did so often; you settled him in your chair, the one by the desk that was closest to the door, and you sat in his lap with your back against his chest as you pressed play on the music again, the sound of 'Hexenjagd' by Feuerschwanz blaring through the room. You hummed along quietly as you relaxed against him, letting him gently trace patterns onto your stomach while the others slowly started to file in. You smiled when you noticed that Yas had her arm around Farah.

"You're a force to be reckoned with, Sir," Yas chuckled, nodding at you. "An absolute hurricane."

You laughed, shaking your head. "Ah, just doing my bit, Yas."

"No, she's right," Alex told you, grumbling in your ear before gently biting the edge of it. "You really are a force to be reckoned with... I'd be scared of you, if I saw you on the battlefield."

You couldn't help but to titter softly as you tilted your head to the side, giving him the space to bite at your neck playfully, just enough to make you shiver and laugh. "No, you wouldn't - you'd run straight into my arms and try biting me."

"Yeah, that too," he admitted with a soft laugh. "You did good today, wasīm... I'm proud to call you my boyfriend."

if you liked this fic, REBLOG IT - you SHOULD reblog it; if you don't wanna reblog, then you'll get blocked; reblogging is the BARE MINIMUM.

[tobiasdrake]

That brings us to our elevator? I guess? Did Vivia run up and jump in the elevator before it closed or something?

Oh, you didn't know I was there. But I was present. While you were. Doing things.

That's not creepy at all!

Boy, I hope she's a ghost because otherwise that's an awkward thing to say to another human being.

He's circling the topic. This almost feels like a ghostly game of cat and mouse. Like. She's dead, but she may or may not be what's causing the suicides. Lot of people died here. No guarantee she was Jumper #1.

But if she is the source, then the fact that we're trapped in an elevator with her could be... part of the snare, so to speak. If she's the killer, this may be part of her method. Isolating the victim in the elevator, which will likely bring us up to the top floor once she's done... whatever she does to get them to jump. Manipulation. Possession. Who knows?

We are alone with the entity inside of its domain, and the entity has an M.O. If she's the killer, then she's likely walking us through it as we speak. She may even have a prepared script, which Vivia's Vivia-ness is throwing off.

And why would that be, do you think? Tell me your perspective.

That's. A weird thing. For people to complain about. In Kanai Ward.

Yeah, that's solid confirmation, I think. She doesn't know about the Forever Rain. That'd be a hard thing to miss.

The first jumper was five years ago. We had two years of jumping before Blank Week. If she's the first, she's our killer. And between her lack of knowledge about the rain and, y'know, the fact that she's even capable of dying in the first place? She's definitely not recent.

Going straight for the throat. Vivia's done playing around with what, by this point, is unambiguously a Class IV full-bodied apparition.

She's backed into a corner now. Sorry, spooker. We aren't trapped in this elevator with you. You're trapped in this elevator with Vivia. >:D

I'm not quite convinced she's the killer, though. Again, just because she's the ghost of a jumper, doesn't mean she's the one causing them to jump. This is a psychokinetic hot-spot. There could be more than one apparition around here.

He said it! He said the thing again!

That's okay, Vivia. I'm interested in her too. She's the second full-blown supernatural entity we've seen in this world and I'd love to know the details behind it.

Oh! Okay! We are supposed to ship it. I thought I was being funny about his wording, but apparently not.

Dropping the pretense. I think she's realized there's no point in disguising her true nature any longer. Vivia sees right through her, pun intended.

Okay, so it is her. But. Why, though? She was saying that all lives have value and she can't bear to see--

Oh, were they abusers? Is she a vengeance spirit, targeting people who inflict the kind of harm she would see come through her hospital as a nurse?

Vivia doesn't seem to be considering the ghost angle, which is making me doubt myself.

Though if she's a serial killer, that fits her personality even less than a vengeful ghost.

Yeah, but your M.O. is shoving people off of the roof. An enclosed space is the most harmless possible circumstance for you to find yourself in. I suppose you might have a knife on you but I've seen Vivia fight cops so that's not much of a concern.

Okay, so that's her motive. She "mercy kills" people in crisis, like a reverse suicide hotline that swiftly takes action without a struggling person's consent. That's awful and I now hate her.

Vivia, punch her in the face. If she's a ghost, we'll find that out real fast. If she's not, she gets decked for being a murderer. It's win/win.

See, shit like that is what makes me think she's a ghost. I still feel like this place is a psychokinetic hot-spot. Sometimes spooker domains have a magnetic quality that attracts people of a given mindset.

I'm not convinced that she pushes them. Physically. I think the building is a psychic magnet for people in emotional crisis, and that the Ryo apparition talks to them and convinces them that it would be better to die. Then the elevator takes them to the roof and they jump of their own accord.

We're still in her snare.

And even though we've called her out, she's still sharpening the knife.