#and half of this is just looking at good casting that was subsequently given bad and ahistorical writing

[navree]

anyway, pursuant to that last reblog, if i could cast my hypothetical augustus show however i wanted where everyone was magically at the ages they needed to be for the casting not to be wonky, it'd go:

octavian augustus: tom glynn-carney

oscar isaac: marcus agrippa

charles dance: julius caesar

james purefoy: mark antony

olivia cooke: octavia minor

idk some white lady: cleopatra

[cowgurrrl]

Roll The Bones

Pairing: Joel Miller x reader

Author’s note: I wrote this in the midst of a flare up so please enjoy and be gentle with your disabled friends <3

Summary: A bad pain day with Joel [1.5k]

Warnings: descriptions of injuries and subsequent chronic pain, medical settings and discussion, I think that’s it??

When Joel finds you, you're in a pitiful state. Your arm is folded over your face, covering your eyes even though the blinds are closed and the room is dark. Your right leg is peeking out from under the bundle of blankets and quilt, elevated with a lukewarm towel surrounding the swelling kneecap. The room smells like the salve someone in the town makes that's supposed to alleviate your pain. So far, it's just given you a headache. Your entire body throbs with pain and frustration. It shouldn't be like this, you think ruefully. I shouldn't feel like this. 

Joel lightly pads over to your bedside— his footsteps quiet now that he's discarded his boots by the front door— and perches next to you. His hand finds a home on your afflicted knee and carefully maneuvers his thumb over the tendons to help with the pain. You shift the arm covering your face to reach for him, and he smiles. 

"There she is," he murmurs as you take him in. His hair is long and a little unruly in the back, but you think it makes him look soft and domestic. He's shed his work jacket and heavier clothes downstairs and is clad in his soft, well-worn-in flannel. He smells like pine and leather. You want to wrap yourself in his warmth but settle for having him nearby. "Ellie told me you were havin' a rough day." He says. It doesn't surprise you that she did, even though you promised her you were fine and didn't need him. It's become rare that she doesn't update him daily on your health.

About a year ago, you were on patrol with Tommy when a Runner came out of nowhere and charged at your horse. She startled and bucked you off before you could regain control of the reins. The Runner was dead before you could hit the ground, and your horse would be recovered within the day, but the damage was done. You broke your leg in two places and dislocated your knee, in addition to a low-level concussion and cuts on your face and arms. When you came back into Jackson on Tommy's horse, half-conscious, bloody, and delirious with pain, Joel was horrified, Ellie even more so.

You were in the hospital for a month as they used what they could to put you in something akin to a cast and reset the bones. Joel and Ellie took turns being guards at your bed, monitoring what they gave you, when, and how much, and how your healing process was going. They were there with you every day, learning the tips and tricks to support you and keeping you sane as you stared at the white walls. 

Six months, the doctor said. Six months is all it would take to be back to normal as long as you did everything you were supposed to. Things have gotten better slower than you would like, but they have gotten better. You have really good days where you don't feel anything other than slight twinges when you move your leg in a weird way. Those days, it's hard to remember that you broke it in the first place. But other days, like today, you can feel every muscle in your leg tightening as stiff pain rockets up and down your body. You thought you could persevere enough to go to the store with Ellie, but your body obviously had other plans.

"My leg gave out on me when I was coming down the stairs. Pretty sure I made the whole house shake when I fell." You explain, and his eyebrows knit together in phantom pain as his thumb works your muscle. 

"You hurt anythin'?" He asks. "Other than your pride?" You blow air out of your nose in a half-laugh and shake your head. 

"Just some bruises," you say. He finds a tender spot in your knee that makes you hiss and ball up your fists, but he doesn't let up until the muscle releases. It's what he's supposed to do: break up the scar tissue, relax the muscles, and hope for the best. It still hurts like a bitch, and it'll hurt more in the morning. He mumbles apologies under his breath and kisses you to try and distract you, but your brain's been running wild for hours. "I went so long without any pain." You finally say, breaking the reverie and collapsing the unwanted space your pain often creates. 

"You've been takin' on a lot these past few weeks. It doesn't surprise me somethin' would flare up." It's an honest assessment. He warned you this would happen, but you ignored him. You thought you knew your body better. You wanted to know your body better. The returning thought and the gentle hand on your knee turn your tongue into sandpaper, and tears prick in the corners of your eyes. Despite the low light in the room, Joel catches it and makes a sympathetic noise. 

"Hey, talk to me." He says softly, shifting his hand from your knee to your face to catch a few stray tears. You shake your head and try and fail to form the words. Joel is patient. He always is, but he shouldn't have to be. 

"I'm so tired of being like this." You whisper, hating the feel of the words on your tongue and hating the sound of them even more. Joel gives you a confused look and pushes your hair out of your face. 

"Bein' like what?"

"Sick," you choke out. Now that the dam is broken, there's no stopping the bitter rush of words from leaving you. "We took her across the country and got rid of anyone who even looked at her wrong. Now, I can't even get on a horse without hurting. And I do all the stupid fucking things the doctor tells me to do. I do the exercises and take the medicine and everything, and nothing is making it better, and I'm so tired." 

"Why didn't you tell me that?" 

"Because I didn't want you to think I'm broken." It's a thought you've harbored since you were laid up in the hospital, unable to even walk to the bathroom without help, but this is the first time you've expressed it. You secretly hoped if you just didn't say anything about it, maybe Joel wouldn't notice. It's a stupid idea, given that your entire lives have changed since the accident. You just didn't want to get thrown away like all the other broken things in this world. Joel takes a deep breath and gazes at you. 

"Honey, you aren't broken. Not even close to it," he says. You want to counter him, but the weight of your emotion is too heavy on your chest. "I wanna know if somethin' is hurtin' you cause when you hurt, I hurt, okay? You're not a burden or somethin' to fix. You just… need a little extra care right now, and that's okay. I wanna take care of you."

"What if it's like this forever?" You ask, and he shakes his head. 

"It won't be."

"But, what if it is?" More tears fill your eyes as you await his answer. He didn't fall in love with this version of you. You don't know if you could blame him if he never does. But with enough ease and love to take your breath away, Joel kisses your forehead, right where your temple smacked against the cold ground. He kisses your forehead and the white scars littering your cheeks before finally shifting to kiss the knee propped up on pillows and hope. He doesn't flinch at the swelling or the angry spasms. He treats them with care and attention. He treats them as another part of you. 

"Takin' care of you has never and will never be on the list of worst things imaginable. Your health is not a sacrifice or a burden on me. If it's like this forever, we'll adapt, but I know you. I know how hard you're workin' to get better. I know we'll find a way to live with this," he says. "But I need you to talk to me when things aren't workin'. I can't help you if you don't tell me what's helpin' and what's not, okay?" You swallow around the lump in your throat and nod. 

"Okay." 

"Okay," he echoes. "I'm gonna get you an appointment with Dr. Lutton and see if we can't get you on a new treatment plan first thing tomorrow mornin'. Is there anythin' I can do for you until then?" He asks, fully prepared to go to the edge of the earth if you asked him to. 

"Can you lay with me?" You ask, and he smiles. 

"Of course, baby." He mumbles. He kisses your knee one more time before shuffling to wrap you in his arms. The warmth from his body helps relieve some of your tension and pain, and he kneads calming circles over your shoulders and back. Your focus shifts from the pain in your leg to the song he's humming, the vibrations in his chest a welcome distraction. The pain doesn't go away entirely— you doubt it ever will— but you rest your weary body against his and sleep, finding wholeness in his acceptance of your loss. 

TAGLIST: @abbyhaslongshorts @kiwiharrykiwi @sumsworldz @myloveistoolittle @anavatazes @marantha @cosmoscoffeee @shyminnie07 @beezusvreeland @eddiemunsonsbedroom @harriedandharassed @doodlebob-mp3 @ignorethisplz2004 @buckyispunk @d1lf-loverrr @vee-bees-blog @moel-jiller @anoverwhelmingdin @casssiopeia @maried01 @acupofhollie

[silenceinternalmonologue]

A Review of Loki (2021)

[The following is an exact transcription of Twitter user @/diolesbian ‘s thread linked here . They gave me permission to cross-post their thread on my Tumblr. Keep in mind that this review is fairly long and quite critical of the series. I agree with this review wholeheartedly, and would be welcome to discuss it with anyone else.] 

Loki is a character who has died many times, but his own series may be his most brutal character assassination yet.

1.  Loki’s role in the series. Instead of tackling Loki's most villainous state of mind in Avengers 1, the series literally speedran through his development in the subsequent films, after which they almost entirely halted his character progression.

Because this series was set right after Avengers 1 it had the responsibility of developing Loki further in place of The Dark World and Ragnarok. In Episode 1, this development was kicked off by having Loki watch a reel of some of his defining moments in the MCU, allowing him to see his future all the way up to his death in Infinity War. Sadly, this scene ended up being the most development he received in the entire series. And arguably, this isn’t even true development but more like a speedrun of his character up until that point, serving as a simple tactic to explain why he wouldn’t be acting all dictatorial and murderous during his own series. As soon as he had been made “good” (read: docile) enough to follow along with the plot, his agency was completely thrown out. From that point on, the series wasn’t about Loki making things happen but about things happening to Loki.

Loki was supposed to be the main character, but he wasn't the protagonist in this story. In fact, he was more of a side character than we’ve ever seen him be in the MCU before, perhaps excepting IW and Endgame.

A protagonist is by definition someone whose important decisions affect the plot, whose development is followed most closely by the audience, and who is opposed by an antagonist. Loki exhibited none of these traits in this series. Especially the latter half of the story, he was reduced to simply reacting to the revelations around him, such as the reveal that the TVA members were all variants and that Kang was the true mastermind behind everything. He never truly involved himself or acted based on any of these plot points, and hardly played a key role in what was supposed to be his own story. Even in the films, where Loki is a side character, he makes choices which impact the plot to a larger extent. He almost seems more like a background character in the role of protagonist than in the parts he plays in the films.

2. The antagonist. The TVA could have worked as the perfect setting for Loki to have a new arc. It’s a thematic antithesis to who we know Loki to be. But when this Loki turns out to not be who the audience thought he was the TVA’s thematic significance falls apart as well.

In Episode 1, the TVA’s Agent Mobius enlists the help of Loki the Variant to pin down a greater foe who we are told is another, more malicious version of Loki. Order and chaos meeting in the middle, teaming up to take down an enemy, who even happens to be the protagonists’ literal evil self: that works, it sounds promising. But this dynamic is soon undermined when Loki leaves with Sylvie. Still, the benefit of the doubt is easy to grant here: a story about tricksters is bound to contain twists. But by Episode 3 the series is halfway done and the TVA has been appointed as the main antagonist again: we’ve now established villains three different times. And then the Cloud Monster At The End Of Time is introduced, and finally Kang. In other words, the Loki series has no consistent antagonist, no one to pit its main character against. And this is where we once again miss out on an enormous aspect of Loki’s potential characterization.

Protagonists are always defined by an antagonist, whether a purple Titan, a flat tire, or themself. Loki is not given anything to define his morals, motivations, or development in opposition to and this is a huge oversight. Especially given the fact that Loki has taken on the villain’s role in the past: how is the audience supposed to know that the “bad guy” is now a “good guy” if there’s no “even worse guy” to stand up against?

3. The plot. A plot should show off its MC’s strengths and match their personality. The Loki plot hardly relied on his presence at all, he didn't play a key role. The story had so little to do with Loki that it seemed as though he has barely any impact on “his” narrative.

One of the most central conflicts in the Loki series doesn’t involve him at all: it’s between Sylvie and the TVA. This plotline was a good concept overall, but its main problem is that it’s practically the only conflict in the series. Loki himself, as mentioned before, isn’t set in opposition to anything or anyone. And thanks to his relationships with Sylvie and Mobius being weakened by conflicting storytelling devices, he appears to be in a bubble by himself away from the rest of the cast for much of the story. First he follows Mobius around, then Sylvie, then he wanders aimlessly in the void before following Sylvie once again and learning that Kang is a Really Bad Guy who he should be opposed to even though by this point he has interacted so little with the story unfolding around him that the audience doesn’t even understand why he should be choosing to play the hero.

The plot and the characters both suffer by being so incredibly unrelated to each other. A series, especially an MCU one, should tell an overarching narrative through the perspective of its main character.

In the beginning of the series, when Loki was still getting his bearings in the TVA, this lack of decision-making was more understandable, especially since some of his skills were still being shown-- he discovered Sylvie was hiding in nexus events, and he made the choice to leave Mobius and follow her. But by the latter half of the series he still hasn’t had much impact on the story or taken any actions of his own, and simply allows plot points to happen to him. Just because the Loki series had to introduce the TVA and Kang didn’t mean it had to forgo telling a story about its protagonist. If Loki’s story had been intrinsically tied to the overarching plot points, if his choices had been some of the primary factors determining how events ended up taking place, the series would have succeeded in every aspect. But instead Loki is pushed aside by the plot of his own series, a plot which subsequently ends up coming across as largely hollow and pointless due to its lack of character drive.

4. Loki’s arc. One of the main reasons MCU Loki is loved is for his excellent character development across his films. TVA Loki was extremely lacking in that aspect and chances to take his character in interesting new self-aware directions were thrown away without much thought.

Throughout the MCU, Loki is on a journey with many highs and lows. He goes from a bitter and disheartened prince standing in the shadow of his brother, to a self-loathing Jotun bent on destroying his own people in a desperate attempt to win his father’s love, to a half-mad partially mind-controlled dictator with delusions of grandeur fueled by his own insecurity, to a prisoner wondering what there is left for him to lose, to a savior of Asgard’s people finally coming to accept his place in what is left of his family, to a tragic sacrificial victim who knew he had to die so the true hero might live on. That’s a hell of a journey, incidentally shown in less than TWO HOURS of screen time, and the prospect of TVA Loki embarking on an equally stimulating one, this time told over the course of over four hours and shown from his own perspective the entire way through, was exciting. But as it turned out, this relatively simple expectation went completely unmet.

For a story trying to say so much about individuality and self-acceptance, the Loki series seemed to pass by every obvious opportunity to tackle those questions.

Sylvie’s introduction seemed like a good idea at first: Loki would be able to literally bond with himself and learn to accept who he is that way, and forays could be made to explore what Loki’s personality could have been like if he grew up under different circumstances! But aside from a scene or two in Episode 3, this was not how things ended up going. Loki didn’t come to any grand or important conclusions about his identity, he didn’t choose to act differently, all that happened was a vaguely-worded confession of pseudo-romantic feelings which was cut off in the middle, made no sense, and weakened the narrative in a whole host of other ways explained elsewhere. Loki’s encounter with other versions of themself in the Void was similarly meaningless: Loki didn’t end up expressing or demonstrating a single thing he learned from meeting all of those alternate selves, despite the fact that there was potential for massive self-discovery there.

Less than 2 hours of MCU screen time portrayed Loki more coherently than this entire series. Loki is loved because of how much he changes, and it felt like he didn’t in this series. He started off lost and stayed that way throughout the entire plot.

By the end of the series, it was impossible to identify who Loki had become. He said he didn’t want a throne, but it was not obvious why not. He looked sad to be betrayed by Sylvie, but never expressed what that meant to him. He seemed afraid once Kang was unleashed, but why? Why did he care about the Sacred Timeline? What were his motivations? Throughout the series the answers to these questions became less and less obvious, culminating in the final episode which ended without a single moment of reflection or explanation as to who Loki had become. He wasn’t a villain, but only because he wasn’t murdering people. He was in some capacity a hero, for… being against Kang, probably, but once again with no explanation as to why Loki had decided to feel that way. He never seemed self-assured in his heroism, as if he hadn’t chosen the role for himself. Again, making one’s own choices that shape the narrative are what differentiates a protagonist from a side character, but Loki did not do that in this series.

5. Loki and Sylvie’s relationship. Loki and Sylvie had the potential to be a powerful duo representing the process of self-acceptance but instead they were reduced to a strange pseudo-romance.

Despite Loki’s many developments in the films, he never truly liked himself. He has been known to act extremely confident and self-righteous at times, but this is merely the opposite side of the coin containing his self-loathing and insecurity. Having him literally meet and subsequently befriend himself in Episode 3 was a move towards developing this aspect of him and potentially teaching him to finally accept himself as he truly is, but this buildup was all shattered in Episode 4 when the relationship is portrayed to have romantic undertones. Instead of a powerful struggle to accept oneself, the relationship between Loki and Sylvie becomes a twisted thing which is memeable at best (selfcest LOL amirite?) and outright damaging to both characters and the very concept of loving oneself at worst.

Ultimately, Loki and Sylvie's relationship didn’t add anything to either character’s development and actively detracted from what could have been a touching story.

Romantic love is extremely different from self love; romantic love has connotations including dating conventions and sexuality which are impossible to ignore and in this case serve as a distraction. And on top of ruining a potentially powerful storyline, this strange relationship makes both Loki and Sylvie seem out of character. Loki is once again one thousand years old and he has never even had a true friend, so why would he possibly fall for someone after knowing them for only two days? Meanwhile in Sylvie’s case, Loki’s “feelings” for her cause the audience to pay more attention to her romantic life and gestures rather than her actual character and motivations.

6. Loki’s Sexuality and Gender Fluidity. Loki’s sexuality and gender has been shown in several comic runs, and the series was advertised as featuring this representation as well. But due to several fundamental errors and problematic storytelling this also fell flat.

Sylvie’s introduction filled many fans with hope regarding the portrayal of Loki’s identity. In the MCU neither of their LGBT identities had ever been touched upon, while the series introduced a female variant of Loki and explicitly stated their sexuality. But this portrayal soon unraveled, most notably in Episode 5, in which many other Loki variants were shown but not a single one besides Sylvie was non-male. On top of that, when TVA Loki mentioned Sylvie and referred to her as “a woman Variant of us”, the other Lokis agreed that that sounded “terrifying”. Why should a genderfluid being be afraid of a version of themselves presenting as a different gender? It read as both fluidphobic not to mention strangely sexist.

The pseudo-romance between Loki and Sylvie only aggravated the situation. Not only did the nature of the “relationship” seem to follow heteronormative storytelling tropes (falling in love after a couple days of knowing each other, one party being reduced to a love interest, valuing romantic love above any other type, etc) but it also seemed distressing and offensive to many genderfluid people. A romance between a male and a female Loki, one of which doesn’t even call herself by that name, seems to be implying that an individual becomes someone else when merely presenting as a different gender, which of course isn’t at all the case. The writing wasn’t necessarily malicious here, but it was certainly ignorant and potentially even harmful. The opportunity was there to translate Loki’s powerful comic representation into the framework of the MCU, but this attempt did not succeed.

7. Loki’s characterization. Loki is a chameleon, but there are certain traits fundamental to his character. These traits were either ignored or actively mocked in the series. The audience already knew “what makes a Loki a Loki", but the series threw that knowledge away.

Episode 1’s premise of stripping Loki of everything he is used to was an intriguing setup to ensure the discovery of the core of who Loki truly is. The only problem was that this truth didn’t end up being found at all. Mobius made fun of Loki’s most defining traits, such as his habits of lying to manipulate people and acting out of a place of insecurity, which seemed to be a signal for the narrative to forbid Loki from exhibiting any of those traits from that point on in any way. This reduction in Loki’s character was reflected in everything, from his lack of humor (in the films he’s even funny while he’s taking over the world!), the underpowered way in which he fought against Sylvie (he’ll use magic to dry his clothes, but fight with a damn vacuum cleaner?) to the way that he wore the same boring outfit in every single episode-- it may sound shallow, but clothes are important when presenting a character. Every one of Loki’s looks in the films said something about him and his state of mind, and sadly that bland TVA outfit seemed to convey that Loki really was nothing more than a subservient pawn in what was supposed to be his own story. Ironically, the writing stripped Loki of everything that made him Loki, and left us with nothing but a Jotun-shaped void to be swayed by the whims and wills of the characters and plot devices surrounding him.

8. Loki’s past and abilities. This series could have elaborated on aspects of his character which had been teased at in the films and theorized about by fans, but ended up being a disappointment in this aspect as well.

Aside from Loki’s characterization and development, something else the series ignores is much of his canon story in the films. Since Thor 1, a truth that always overshadowed Loki was his Jotun heritage. He struggled with it up until the time of his death, clearly visible in his relationship with his foster family. It’s understandable that Loki was supposed to be independent from Thor in his series, but that’s no excuse for completely ignoring this central part of who Loki is. It doesn’t matter how much he goes through or how much his circumstances change, this feeling of unbelonging sits deep in Loki’s core and should have been both explored and explicitly discussed in the series. A series all about Loki was the perfect opportunity for him to finally confront and explain his relationship with his heritage, and potentially come to terms with it as well. And this isn’t even to say how cool some more insight on Loki’s Jotun inheritance could have been-- hypotheticals aren’t the point of this review, but it would have been fascinating to see Loki reacting adversely to heat like he has been hinted to in the past or even using his ice powers like he did in Thor 1.

Loki's magic was tragically underused. It felt like he was stripped of all of his magical powers even after his TVA chains had been removed, and this was never explained.

A second huge oversight is his magic. His powers are all over the place in this series. They were always a bit vague in the films, but this series was the opportunity to set that right and explain exactly what Loki was capable of as a sorcerer, especially now that the MCU has embraced magic more than it had ten years ago. But instead, Loki showcased an inexplicable lack of magic use-- again, the vacuum cleaner fight can be presented as evidence. There is a single scene in which Loki says that he learned his magic from Frigga, but no information is given as to how much he learned or why he doesn’t always favor spells. His power levels are incredibly inconsistent (he forgoes using magic when first confronted by the TVA, but is later shown using telekinesis to save himself from being literally crushed to death). And, strangest of all, there is a scene in which he tells Sylvie that he “can’t” enchant living beings. Loki, the millennium year old Trickster sorcerer god, who can hold an Infinity Stone with his bare hands, reanimate Surtur in the Eternal Flame, and trick the average person using illusions with ease, can’t cast a little enchantment? And if so, why not? The series offered precious few explanations concerning Loki’s magical abilities and instead only raised more questions. And in this way, Loki is once again relegated into the background and left with not a single shred of any new characterization or development. 

Loki contains multitudes, but the series reduced him to two dimensions.

This isn’t to mention every other facet of Loki’s story that could have potentially been explored to great success in this series-- his torture and subsequent partial mental influence at the hands of Thanos just before the events of Avengers 1 is one obvious example, as is his youth on Asgard, as are his suicidal tendencies (people don’t tend to survive falling off the Bifrost, and he knew that when he threw himself off of it), plus infinite other facets of him. Of course, it was both necessary and more interesting for this series to be its own story rather than one which lingered on past films-- but that’s not to say that none of these plot points should have come back, at least subtly, to play a role in this story. Plot points exist to be brought back later, not completely ignored. Otherwise a story may as well be written about a completely original character.

[shypotato-translations]

QTVW Chapter 21

Showbiz* Sexy Queen (VIII)

----

After this incident, Bai Jieying's gaze on Mei Mu Lan took on a vague disdain and condescending arrogance, and she was smart enough not to confront the crew with this attitude, but to specifically target Mei Mu Lan.

And after recalling the memories of the original owner, Mei Mu Lan found that this kind of contentious situation was actually the form of daily life between the original owner and Bai Jieying. After analyzing the Bai Jieying in her memories and the eyes of Bai Jieying now, she compared them and came to the conclusion that the eyes and expressions of Bai Jieying's original owner and the Bai Jieying after crossing over were exactly the same when she looked at Mei Mu Lan.

In this way, it seems likely that the traveler in front of her has obtained all the memories of the original Bai Jieying. Now, Mei Mu Lan and her situation are completely similar, both have lived in real life and both know the plot, and most importantly, they both have memories of the original owner who crossed over.

And the only difference is that the informed part of the plot is different.

Mei Mu Lan is right here in the plot, in a dominant position, but in other areas, the two are actually evenly matched.

Thinking of this, Mei Mu Lan would glare back with the same glare when she encountered Bai Jieying glaring at her again, and this behaviour of hers completely reassured Bai Jieying, dispelling the idea that this Mei Mu Lan in front of her was also a traveler.

And when Bai Jieying went to the director's side for her second audition, Mei Mu Lan secretly made a plan in her mind: next she had to spend a long time to observe this traveler's behavior, and the current image of Bai Jieying in the cast was all finely crafted and acted out, not real.

Then in order to see what she was really like, she had to get into Bai Jieying's daily life in order to do so.

When Mei Mu Lan thought of this, she decided to move out of Aunt Wen's house and go back to the Mei family for a while to see how she acted in her daily life and how she behaved in private, and once she was familiar with Bai Jieying's style and behaviour, she could plan for her subsequent task of "solving the travelers".

So, Mei Mu Lan waited until the day's filming was finished, then she immediately said goodbye to Ling Yi Yao and ''made out'', then drove back to Aunt Wen's villa. By the time she got home, Aunt Wen was not at home because she had a design job and had gone abroad to get some experience, so after thinking about it, Mei Mu Lan left a note which said,

“Aunt Wen, I've been out for so many years and I understand somewhat what my father did, so I'm going to move back in with the Mei family for a while and thank you for taking care of me, all these years!”

After writing it, she read it out a few times and found it to be quite fluent, so she left the note on the dining room table, turned to her room, packed her few bags and left the Wen family home.

Mei Mu Lan followed the route she remembered and drove back to the Mei family mansion in the wealthy residential area of the Second Ring Road.

Because the Mei family is a family of scholars that has been passed down for hundreds of years, the Mei family's mansion, which maintains the style of hundreds of years ago, is the modern well-known courtyard, in the modern world, such a set of courtyard, in the outside world can be sold for hundreds of millions of dollars, but this is really nothing for the Mei family.

The Mei family's family ethos pushes the boundaries of money and dirt, and the Mei family's family wealth ranks among the best in the world.

Mei Mu Lan drove back outside the Mei family home, she walked inside the old mansion and as far as the eye could see there were flower pots, water tanks, recliners…… and other furniture, all of which are relics of hundreds of years old, is an expression of the cultural heritage of the Mei family.

Mei Mu Lan casually swept a glance, and then saw that a middle-aged man wearing a Republican tunic greeted her, with a warm and kind smile on his face, the whole person gave people a feeling of a gentleman as gentle as jade.

He took the luggage from Mei Mu Lan and handed it to the maid who was waiting with his head down, then called out affectionately,

“Missy, you're back at last.”

Mei Mu Lan knew from memory that this man was the butler of the Mei family, the child of a friend of Grandpa Tai, and had been given the surname Mei after being brought back to the Mei family by Grandpa Tai when he was three years old.

He grew up in the house of Mei and was always brought up by the great lord of the Mei family. Although he was called a butler, his status was not that of a servant, but that of one of the rulers of the Mei family, managing the internal affairs of the house as well as some of the external affairs, a man of great means, loyal and intelligent.

He has a high status in the Mei family and most of the Mei family are close to him. Even Mei Mu Lan's father, who was the current head of the Mei family, would adopt a slightly friendly attitude when facing him.

When Mei Mu Lan thought of this, she lowered her eyebrows and smiled slightly poutingly,

“Butler Mei, it's been a long time, you're still as handsome as ever.”

The smile on Butler Mei's face deepened a little as he said,

“Miss, I am relieved to see you in such good spirits. No matter what happens at the Master's place, you will always be the Mei family's Miss in my heart, and as for that one and her daughter, you need not bother at all.”

Mei Mu Lan heard his concern for herself in his words, and she was moved to say,

“Thank you butler, I understand, I just want to go home for a while, no matter what, I am my father's own daughter, before I did not know what to do, and made my father and butler worry about me.”

With a relieved smile, Butler Mei said,

“It's good that you've figured it out. There's nothing in life that you can't get through. All external things are false, only blood is real. Now, I have ordered your room to be taken care of, you are tired today, go and rest, I will order someone to call you at dinner time.”

“Thank you, butler. I'll go to my room.”

After bidding farewell to the butler, Mei Mu Lan went back to the original owner's room.

When she opened the door, she saw a literary and elegant room, which was decorated with a combination of Chinese and foreign elements, which matched her imagination of a woman's bedroom from a scholarly family, whereas the original owner's room at Aunt Wen's house was filled with Ling Yi Yao's photos and dolls, which made Mei Mu Lan's heart feel creepy, but for the sake of the mission, she had to maintain this style, which was really depressing.

And this time, finally, she could stay in a normal room, whatever the purpose of going home this time, at least she slept much better and was sure that she could sleep well for the next while.

When she thinks of the original owner, she can't help but think of Ling Yi Yao. She is now numb to her "obsessed" state and as soon as she sees Ling Yi Yao, her whole being will automatically switch to another channel.

Fortunately, the villain this time, Ling Yi Yao, although ruthless and with blood on her hands, is a very nice person to be around when she is in normal society.

In the face of her own obsessions in and out of the film, she has not even expressed her displeasure verbally, which makes Mei Mu Lan often exclaim that the villain is really well brought up. If it were up to me, I would have taken such a character to the ends of the earth.

And Ling Yi Yao now, apart from a vague, emotionally unstable expression on her face as soon as she saw her, there was nothing else on her face, which reassured Mei Mu Lan and made her even more aggressive at the same time.

I feel like I've suddenly gone feckless, and it's definitely the fault of the cannon fodder girl!

When Bai Jieying returned to the house in the evening at the time the Mei family had set for dinner, she saw Mei Mu Lan sitting on the sofa, sipping tea in a dignified manner, and then gave her usual snide remarks, it was only when her mother made a glib remark to stop her that she skipped away and walked over to her mother and sat down affectionately.

Mei Mu Lan watched coldly, this Bai Jieying was gentle and kind on the set, pouting and half-angry at home, and in front of her stepmother, she was like a real child, chattering about what had happened on the set today.

Her mother learned from her that she and Mei Mu Lan were filming in the same production, so she glanced at Mei Mu Lan from top to bottom.

In a lighter tone, she said,

“Mu Lan, you are from a scholarly family, the family style of your Mei family is to despise the lowest class such as opera singers, if your father finds out about your acting, he will definitely be angry, so think again, change your job, I remember that you sang Peking Opera very well before, you can continue to go into that profession, it is after all something your mother taught you, it is always bad to leave it behind.”

Mui Mu Lan, with her long, narrow eyes, said with the aura of a Peking opera, singing and chanting in a long, short voice,

“You know, I don't know what this lady is to me. What does the affairs of our Mei family have to do with you, a second-married woman? You claim to be a member of the Mei family, but in the olden days, you would not have been worthy to carry the shoes of a Mei family servant.

You think that just because you have my father's help, you can really do whatever you want. The Mei family has been passed down for a hundred years, and although my father is the patriarch, he has less resources at his disposal. And who are you to talk to me like that? I have a good temper, otherwise I would have asked someone to slap your mouth!”

Her stepmother's brain ached with anger at her sharp, eloquent tongue, and she trembled, raising her hand and pointing, unable to say a word.

And Bai Jieying, at this moment, had a weird smile on her face, looking straight at Mei Mu Lan without saying a word.

Mei Mu Lan put down her cup of tea in bemusement, then said to Mei's butler who was beside her, watching the show as an invisible person,

“I'm also the recognized next head of the Mei family, so if I don't show them what I'm made of, they'll think I'm a paperweight.”

With that, she stood up, glanced scornfully at the two women with different faces, tilted her head proudly, and turned to leave.

In the days that followed, Mei Mu Lan went to the film set during the day and flirted with Ling Yi Yao; at night, she returned to the Mei family to anger her stepmother, and lived a very happy life.

Although she and Bai Jieying live under the same roof and work on the same set, they are never together, always staggering their time and appearing one after the other in full view of others. This also made the crew aware of the fact that the two sisters were not on good terms.

Even so, Mei Mu Lan's concern for Bai Jieying did not diminish by half.

She was following the movements of Bai Jieying every moment, and she found that Bai Jieying was now a queen of all changes, her acting skills were perfect, in life, in acting, in and out of film, and she was showing her superb acting skills all the time.

While watching Bai Jieying act, Mei Mu Lan secretly instructed the detective to continue filming and tracking Bai Jieying's whereabouts.

She put it all together and waited for the day when it would come in handy.

Three months later, the crew of 《The Burial Man》had completed all the indoor filming and it was time to shoot outdoors.

After much deliberation, the director decided to head immediately to the Kunlun Mountains for a real outdoor shooting.

[one-boring-person]

Only Traitors Consort With The Damned (Part Eight)

The Lost Boys x reader

Warnings: mentions of death

Context: (y/n) has to stay entertained at the cave, and so goes about setting up defences.

A/N: I think this chapter is a bit dull, but I promise it gets better soon!

Masterlist

Unsurprisingly, no light filters into my room when I wake again the next morning, my eyes having to swiftly adjust to the shadowy sight before them as I sit up, rubbing at my scalp. A pounding headache has set in, thanks to the lack of sleep and the sheer amount of over thinking I did last night, my skull feeling as if it's about to explode as I swing my legs out from under the covers, knowing that I have even more planning and preparing to do if I want to survive long enough to see the end of the year. Stretching out the dull ache in my muscles, I check the watch on my wrist briefly to get an idea of the time: 4:23. Whether that is AM or PM, I have no idea yet, but I aim to find out, quickly grabbing my rucksack and jacket as I stand and leave the room, heading out into the main hall where the boys usually spend their nights.

Bright light streams in from the outside, indicating that it is 4:23 PM, illuminating the decrepit lobby in a new clarity I've not seen it in before, every piece of scattered rubbish given a new appearance. In the daylight, the whole place looks less sinister, and more like an abandoned antiques shop, the dusty bits and pieces casting odd shaped shadows onto the floor as the sunlight hits them from a certain angle, every dull colour suddenly highlighted more than usual. I have to blink a few times to allow my eyes to adjust, but they quickly do so, my gaze swiftly flicking around the looming room so that I can take it all in, a plan springing to my mind as I observe it all.

Silently, I get to work, dropping my bag on the fountain ledge and rummaging around in it, pulling everything out to lay it out in front of me so that I can properly see what I have. It's not much, but it's enough to satisfy what needs doing. Picking up the lightweight chains we are required to own, I grab some dirty old cans lying a little way away, the litter most likely the remains of a meal from sometime before, their rusted forms almost perfect for what I need them for.

Eyeing the brightly lit entrance, I take up a ball of string, too, and go over to it, stepping out onto the rickety walkway, examining the rugged wood with a critical eye as I walk out a little way, putting some weight in my step. Under each step, the wood moves slightly, the material having a light spring to it thanks to its age and exposure to the elements, which makes me frown slightly, hoping my plan will still work even though this is the case. Kneeling down, I measure out a length of string that runs the width of the walkway and use my knife to cut it to size. Setting it aside, I get to work on the chains, making six separate lengths with cans attached to them, each one of them rattling loudly as I shake them out experimentally. Smiling to myself, I connect one chain to the end of the piece if string, doubling it over itself for a better result, quickly doing the same on the other end of the string, weighting it down perfectly. I find a pair of small rocks lodged into the cliffside beside me and place them at opposing ends of the walkway, but not before I've scraped a small groove into their surfaces, where the string rests once I've set it up, hanging the chains over the sides of the walkway. The string sits an inch or so above the surface of the walkway, meaning it is easily tripped over, setting off the rudimentary alarm.

I repeat this twice more, leaving them at alternating distances from each other to provide a crude trap to alert anyone inside the cave of approaching intruders: when someone trips the string, the cans and chains will rattle loudly, signifying their approach. Absentmindedly, I hear a small voice in my head telling me that any SRS soldiers will be expecting this, and won't fall for such an amateur trap, quickly deciding that I need to work on something inside the cave, too, something more hidden.

Going back inside, I wipe some sweat from my upper lip, surprised at the heat of the day despite it being mid-October, my clothes sticking to me as I go back to my rucksack, trying to figure something else out. My eyes are quickly drawn to the grenades I have left. They won't work very well on humans, but the loud noise and subsequent explosion of mist will throw anyone off if caught up in it, meaning they are somewhat effective for this purpose.

Grabbing them, I take the string again and go to the entrance, making sure to set up two of the conveniently placed barrels of charcoal the boys use as braziers, setting them up a little way apart around the front of the cave. Going a little way ahead of them again, I place a seemingly random cardboard box face down on the floor, checking the layout once more, before measuring pieces of string again. Cutting them all to size, I tie one end of each of the length to the ring of a grenade, which I carefully loosen, hiding the two explosives under the cardboard box as I loop the string around the two barrels, pulling it tightly enough that it creates another tripwire across the entrance.

Sitting back, I look at my handiwork, noting that the string isn't too obvious and that the overall look isn't too bad. Cautiously, I pull the string taut again, knowing how tense it needs to be for this trap to actually work. Aware that this is now a near-fatal hazard for the four original residents of the cave, I make a mental note to warn them of the new trap before one of them accidentally trips it and gets a face-full of burning holy water.

Sighing, I go back to my rucksack and pick up the gun, checking the clip for rounds, annoyed to find it only about half-full, most of them having been used over the last few days, meaning it needs reloading. I check over the rest if my stuff, growling when I realise that I haven't got anymore bullets with me, leaving me with a pretty much useless weapon which will need reloading very quickly. Setting it down again, I quickly make a decision, going back out into the daylight and up to the cliff top, where I grab some of the random pieces of driftwood lying around, returning to the cave with an armfull of them. Tiredly, I drop them to the floor and sit down, pull in out my knife so I can start whittling them down - a skill every Hunter is taught is how to make wooden bullets, seeing as they are effective against both supernatural and natural creatures.

A small pile of bullets has steadily grown by the time the boys finally emerge from their sleep, the last rays of sunlight having dissipated an hour or so ago, my fingers sore from scratching the knife over the dry wood for so long, though it has paid off: I have enough to fill four or five clips, now. As they enter the room, I look up at them with a tired smile, glad to have some company now.

"Hey guys. Sleep well?" I greet them, waving slightly with the knife, my tone light despite the tension in my body.

"Mostly, yeah." Marko responds, coming over to me with the others, their brows furrowed as they see what I'm doing.

"What're you up to?" Dwayne questions, eyeing the bullets apprehensively.

"Making some more rounds for my gun. I didn't bring enough ammo, so I'm making my own." I explain, gesturing to the pile dismissively.

"Out of wood?" Paul interjects, looking genuinely curious.

"Yep. It's the only available material."

"That's...kinda cool, but also pretty worrying." The blonde vampire muses, dropping down beside me as he goes to pick one up.

"I'm not planning to use them in you guys, don't worry." I reassure them, rolling my eyes.

"Why do you need so many?" David asks, blue eyes appearing much darker in this light.

I shrug casually, finishing up the one I'm currently working on.

"In case the SRS comes knocking. Speaking of which, I've set up some traps by the entrance, so just be careful of them." I make eye contact with David, "One of them will be very painful if it's tripped."

He frowns a little, but nods in any case.

"Duly noted." The vampire licks his lips carefully, "I'm hungry, so I'm gonna head out and get something to eat. You boys coming?"

Marko and Paul eagerly agree, though Dwayne politely declines.

"I think it's a good idea if someone stays here with (Y/n), and I'm not that hungry so I'm happy to do that." The dark haired vampire explains, watching me for a reaction as I give him a confused look, surprised at the offer.

"You don't need to, Dwayne. I'm grateful for the offer, but I don't want to ruin your night..." I start, only to be cut off by him sitting down beside me.

"Don't worry about it, I'd rather stay here. Plus, maybe you can show me how to do that. It'd get the job done quicker with two people doing it."

"I guess. Thank you." I murmur, still surprised, trying to ignore the blush rising to my cheeks.

"No problem."

"Right, well, we'll be back in a few hours. Want us to bring you something back, Dwayne?" David cuts in, eyeing the two of us carefully.

"No, it's alright. I'll go out when you guys get back."

"Ok. See you two later." Without another word, the three vampires leave the room, the surrounding quickly lapsing into silence as Dwayne and I sit there.

"So, how do you carve these?" He finally asks, pulling a knife from the pocket of his jacket, his thumb running swiftly over the blade to test it's sharpness.

"Oh, it's pretty easy. Just copy me..." I run through the basic premise of what needs doing, the vampire easily picking it up, the two of us starting to produce a good amount of them between us.

Part Nine

[zhanex]

RWBY Rant

Always said that I wouldn't make a petty-ass rant like this, but w/e, might as well vent out my feelings. Also always said I wouldn’t post it to Tumblr of all places, but RT’s comment section has a character limit and I wasn’t going to write multiple comments to get my feelings out, SO...

This is the volume that made me stop watching RWBY. After being hooked way back with the original Red Trailer release, what, 9 years ago now? I'm just done. Really, V7 was the one that made me want to stop, but I figured, hey, give V8 a shot, it might pull things together! It did not. Instead, everything about V7 that turned me off this show I've loved for years just got worse, episode after episode. V5 had me there before, but V6 won me back over handily. Made me excited watching, made me interested to see where the plot and characters were going. V7 (and subsequently 8) then proceeded to squander everything I thought there was to look forward to.

Weiss, first and foremost. She's my favorite character. Atlas is her birthplace. V6 had several scenes focusing on her anxiety returning there. And what happened with that? Nothing. She had one confrontation with her dad, and then her never-before-seen mother handed her the win over him. Her major personal conflict, built up since the very start of the show, wrapped up with a PUNCHLINE through no effort of her own. And, just to make things worse, any hope of a more satisfying closure to that plot was dashed when her abusive father got killed by a crazed gunman.

Then, we've got Winter and Penny! Weiss' sister was certainly the most developed of her familial relationships previously, and she got a lot of focus in Atlas! Did Weiss play a part in any of that development? Nope! Instead, Penny got the lions share of focus for Winter's development and eventual turning on her boss. Even with the possibility of some conflict in their ideals being raised at the end of V7, did anything actually come of it? No, Winter and Weiss never once encountered each other while on "Opposite Sides", Winter brushed off any mention of Weiss, Weiss seemed generally unconcerned, and ultimately Winter turned not due to any sort of confrontation or conflict, but just Ironwood going so crazy even Winter could see it!

Likewise with Winter, after V6 had her steadfastly in Weiss' corner, Ruby -established from the series' onset as Weiss' partner and one of her first and closest friends- spent this arc focused nigh-wholely on Penny. She and Weiss barely said a word to each other the entire arc! Two characters closely tied to Weiss, all the reason to presume she'd get a spotlight in Atlas, just to be usurped by Penny, and for what? Killing her off! "Kill" a character off, bring her back years later because "Robot", make her the center of attention for 2 whole volumes, go all the way with her Pinocchio allusion, just to kill her! And give the super powers she temporarily inherited to the person they were telegraphed as being for in the first place! I'll admit that I really did like Winter and Penny's dynamic, but with how ultimately pointless Penny's return feels, it just makes me wish that time had been spent developing any of the dozens of other plot threads fighting for some scrap of screentime! I will say this much though: As far as pointless gut-punches to try and get an emotional reaction from your audience goes, Penny is at least a better attempt than Clover. But then having Jaune be the one to do it, likely just to add to his own fucking angst, again? That's insult to injury.

Then there's Ren and Nora! It utterly confounded me choosing to have their relationship finally be focused on in Atlas. After ending V6 cuddled together, V7 sees Ren rather spontaneously become a brooding grouch. And after having suddenly become this angsty grouch through V7 and the first half of 8, Ren develops a new use of his Semblance and develops... right back into the calm-headed, friendly support he always was previously. Nora gets off slightly better, getting to show more of her thoughtful, introspective side. But is that gonna go anywhere? Given my disappointment in Weiss' and Ren's arcs, I'm inclined to believe "No."

My exacerbation with their focus at this point only grew when their positions seemed to suddenly reverse at the start of V8 too! Where in V7 Nora's attitude was "What about Mantle?!" first and foremost, in V8 she was right behind Ruby prioritizing a long-term goal. This is an exact reversal of Ren following Ironwood's long-term planning in V7, only to switch to "We should focus on helping Mantle first" in V8!

Oscar is another sore point for me. The "Chosen One" with a legacy of eons behind him, the "Good" contrasting the "Evil" Salem. I see how much clear attention goes into his character; the subtle details of his animation and voice work, the work put into portraying his assimilation into "Oz"... and it annoys the hell out of me. Ruby, one of the title characters, on whom the narrative seems to so badly want to focus its themes of hope and unity, has barely gotten a SCRAP of development in 8 volumes. Meanwhile, introduced halfway through, and Oscar has gotten so much attention, he seems like a clear "Main Character" more than anyone else! I know this has been said to death, but I feel it bears repeating: I watched RWBY for RWBY!

And that really is the point. RWBY feel like side characters in RWBY. The show's production puts out a single season annually, comprised of similarly short episodes. It's like every character and plotline has to fight to get any bit of attention and development, and RWBY -the title characters- feel totally brushed to the side in this Atlas Arc. Character bloat is a huge issue with as brief as the show ultimately is. I'd seen some folks express that, "Oh, it's just temporary. They'll trim the cast some when they leave Atlas!" And then, what happens? The show transplants the entire population and most of the focused cast from Atlas to Vacuo, the next likely arc location. It is mind-boggling what a bad move this is.

Even with RWBY (+Jaune and Neo) being separated from most of the cast, I can't see that lasting for more than a volume. And even if that volume were to focus just on them, rather than cutting back and forth between them and the larger cast (which it probably will), that's still just 1 volume before they're back to being sidelined as even more characters are introduced. Weiss the most, as I've elaborated; Ruby the longest, having yet to receive any significant degree of focus; Yang and Blake as well. And I group them together, because the show certainly seems to. Even having nothing to really do plot-wise, even with as much that got pushed to the side, they kept throwing in little background flirtations between the two. Like that's all they're good for anymore.

Yang fares slightly better of the two. While I hated how she started V8, undermining Ruby's role as leader, seemingly blaming her for the worsening turn of events -Ruby, her own sister!- they did get a good scene regarding Summer later on. Would that I could believe it was going somewhere.

Likewise, Blake also got a nice scene with Ruby. But while a nice scene on its own, to me it just spoke of how little focus Ruby's character has actually gotten. People have talked for ages about Ruby having a "Breakdown." A moment focused on her character coming to grips with all the horrible things she's had to go through, before finally being given a moment to lean on others, rather than being built up as a pillar they all lean on. And the hardcore shipper in me would love that moment to have Weiss specifically supporting her, but sadly it being a team moment seems far more likely.

As my obvious dissatisfaction with many of the turns RWBY has taken recently may indicate, I've lost any hope of such a moment coming to pass. I have no confidence that the lead, title character, will ever get a moment focused on her being developed. And even if it did, I have even less hope that it would actually be a satisfying moment, and not rushed along for the sake of the plot.

And that, in short (hah) is why I'm just done even bothering. Because I just can't picture anything happening with this show anymore, that isn't just plain bad.

[archiveofprolbems]

Digital Art NFTs: The Marriage Of Art & Money by Julia Friedman & David Hawkes

Over half a century ago, Marshall McLuhan identified a ‘moral panic’ that continues to roil Western culture today. In his now-canonical Understanding Media (1964), McLuhan discussed the mixture of fear and snobbery exhibited by ‘many highly literate people’ in response to the dramatic rise of ‘electric technology’— the telephone, the radio and above all, the dreaded television.

Since these new media ‘seem[ed] to favor the inclusive and participational spoken word over the specialist written word,’ McLuhan argued that they posed a threat to established hierarchies of culture and class. As he pointed out, elitist systems of cultural knowledge and power extend all the way back to ancient ‘temple bureaucracies’ and ‘priestly monopolies,’ and the cultural elites have always worked to keep their domains exclusive.

A strikingly McLuhanesque spasm of outrage followed Christie’s’ procured sale of a digital art non-fungible token, or NFT. Everydays: The First 5000 Days, an NFT created by the savvy operator known as Beeple, fetched an eye-watering $69 million at a recent auction. That kind of money always guarantees mainstream media attention which, of course, is part of the point. Another part is the furiously hostile response to that kind of money being splurged on such a radically innovative art form: so innovative that a large part of the cultural elite questioned its status as art in the first place.

It doesn’t help that Beeple’s content is resolutely demotic: puerile cartoons, defaced logos, ironic emojis, frat-boy fantasies. Writing in Spike magazine, Dean Kissick remarks that ‘the old gatekeepers have been losing their power for a while now,’ and he counts the entrance of NFTs into the artworld among the costs, denigrating Beeple’s ‘triumphant procession of popular things’ as a violation of art’s privileged autonomy. In the ‘collective-hallucinatory firmament’ of postmodern hyper-reality, artists no longer express ideas but rather present empty ‘images of images,’ which Kissick defiantly dismisses as ‘tired art, recycled pop, bad taste, political spectacle, and hyper-speculation.’ As J.J. Charlesworth observes in ArtReview: ‘What really seems to disconcert ‘our’ current artworld is the sense that a form of largely unregulated, DIY mass culture has spawned beyond the reach or control of cultural gatekeepers.’

The twentieth century was replete with artists questioning the relationship between art and money. Their difference from Beeple was that they were looking for ways to uncouple the pair, rather than fuse them.

Beeple (b. 1981), EVERYDAYS: THE FIRST 5000 DAYS. Minted on 16 February 2021. non-fungible token (jpg). 21,069 x 21,069 pixels (319,168,313 bytes). This work is unique.

It is tempting to see the cultural gatekeepers’ protests against digital art NFTs as the grousing of a critical establishment at its own loss of influence. The snobbery of the self-appointed elect was challenged decades ago by Marcel Duchamp, in what looks like a premonitory contribution to the current NFT discourse. In his 1957 paper ‘The Creative Act,’ Duchamp rejects the elitist exclusion of ‘bad’ art: ‘art may be bad, good or indifferent, but, whatever adjective is used, we must call it art, and bad art is still art in the same way that a bad emotion is still an emotion.’ Yet Duchamp also rejected the idea of equity in artistic value: ‘Millions of artists create; only a few thousands are discussed or accepted by the spectator and many less again are consecrated by posterity.’ Three conclusions follow for our own day: (1) Everydays is indeed an artwork, (2) it has passed the approval of the spectators (buyers) by garnering such a high bid, (3) only posterity will determine its ultimate aesthetic value. Nowhere does Duchamp mention professional critics.

This omission is especially glaring since the late 1950s were the apex of critical influence on contemporary art. These were the years when a pair of New York critics—Clement Greenberg and Harold Rosenberg—wielded an almost dictatorial influence. Such critics did not just evaluate already-existing art; their pronouncements determined the forms of future works. Because the relationship between artwork and art criticism has been mutually determining for most of the twentieth century, one of Beeple’s many transgressions is his deconstruction of the polarity between the two. The media response that his oeuvre evokes is not something external to it, but one of its most vital components. The outrage increases the price, and the price is not an addition to the art but its very essence. In the form of the NFT, the ancient opposition between art and money is finally abolished. So perhaps the consequent eruption of indignation and disbelief throughout the artworld is more than defensive elitism, and there are reasons other than snobbery to be suspicious of the NFT’s fusion of aesthetics with economics.

NFTs also represent the ultimate aestheticization of exchange-value—a process on which artists and art critics have meditated for most of the last century.

Marcel Duchamp, Henri-Pierre Roché, and Beatrice Wood, The Blind Man No. 2, 1917, “The Richard Mutt Case.”

Before the twentieth century it was a simple matter to own a piece of art. One simply bought it, took possession of it and, if one chose, locked it away in one’s cellar. Ownership gave exclusive rights to access the artwork (albeit not to its copyright). That changed in the age of mechanical reproduction, and by the twentieth century anyone could view the same image as the artwork’s owner photographed in a book or magazine. What ownership brought was now access to the original, the bearer of the mysterious, pseudo-scarce ‘aura’ described by Walter Benjamin.

The relationship between art and money has always been symbiotic. It has been equally true with papal patronage in sixteenth century, and with the interwar European avant-garde whose fortunes, according to Greenberg, were inexorably linked to the market ‘by an umbilical cord of gold.’ After all, art and money are basically similar phenomena: both are valuable and significant systems of symbols. The twentieth century was replete with artists questioning the relationship between art and money. Their difference from Beeple was that they were looking for ways to uncouple the pair, rather than fuse them. As early as 1914, Duchamp’s revolutionary concept of the ‘readymade’ had undermined the process of commodification that had engulfed the artworld. Along with his Dadaist allies, Duchamp succeeded in redefining the fine arts, moving away from the given of physical painting and sculpture and towards serialized, de-commodified, temporary or even traceless performances and manifestos.

By insisting that a fictitious ‘R. Mutt’ had the right to anoint a urinal as art because ‘whether Mr. Mutt with his own hands made the fountain or not has no importance. He CHOSE it,’ Duchamp initiated what the late David Graeber called the ‘aesthetic validation of managerialism.’ A lowly plumbing fixture can be art, as long as someone (who did not even create it) calls it art. The task of validation, and the creation of value, later devolved from artists to curators, who could throw ordinary objects into the mix along with bona fide artworks, confident that no one could legitimately object. Today this function falls to auction houses which, in Graeber’s words, use ‘money as a sacral grace that baptizes ordinary objects magically, turning them into a higher value.’ That is exactly what happened to Beeple’s opus on March 11, 2021 when the sale closed at $69,346,250.

Subsequent movements like Fluxus and Conceptual Art continued Duchamp’s efforts to separate art from money. Their methods included relying on performance instead of painting or drawing, and using DIY kits instead of traditional cast or carved sculpture. They documented events with sets of instructions or certificates of authenticity, and these took the place of paintings and sculpture as the physical manifestations of art that was otherwise disembodied. The remarkable Piero Manzoni created works such as Merda d’artista (Artist’s Shit, 1961), and advertised his ‘product’ by standing in a toilet with a tiny tin in his right hand and a coy smile on his face. Manzoni commented on the relations between art and money in Sculture vivendi (Living Sculptures, 1961), which consisted of living people ‘authenticated’ with different colored ink stamps designating various body parts, or the entire person, as an artwork. He incorporated cheeky pricing systems into his artworks: the price of the shit-tins corresponded to the price of gold, the color stamps on the living sculpture were priced by body part and so on. Manzoni documented his works with photographs, making the record part of the process, and proving their uniqueness, just as the blockchain records the uniqueness of the NFT today.

If aesthetics and economics are not merely analogous but actually identical, we must bid farewell to aesthetic experience itself.

Piero Manzoni (1933-1963), Merda d'artista, 1961. Tin can, printed paper and excrement, 48 × 65 × 65 mm, 0.1 kg.

Yves Klein (1928–1962), Performance Transfer of a "Zone of Immaterial Pictorial Sensibility" to Michael Blankfort, Pont au Double, Paris, February10, 1962. Photo : © Giancarlo Botti. © The Estate of Yves Klein c/o ADAGP, Paris

At around the same time, Yves Klein was inventing, performing and documenting his transgressive classic Zone of Immaterial Pictorial Sensibility. Performed on February 10th, 1962, it involved Klein throwing half of his payment into the river Seine. The work’s buyer then burned the receipt for the transaction. This performance presaged the NFT in several respects. The artwork included the physical destruction of the artist’s remuneration, provocatively suggesting an equivalence between the two processes. As Klein gnomically explained: ‘For each zone the exact weight of pure gold which is the material value correspondent to the immaterial acquired.’ To be authentic the event had to be witnessed—Klein specified by ‘an Art Museum Director, or an Art Gallery Expert, or an Art Critic’­— in a manner that anticipates the authentication provided by an NFT’s imprint in a blockchain. Klein even included a provision to prevent resale: ‘The zone[s] having been transferred in this way are not any more transferable by their owner.’

Klein had first made his point about the arbitrary value of art in 1957, when he placed eleven identical paintings in Milan’s Galleria Apollinaire. These were to be purchased at various prices, according to what the buyer felt each was worth. Thirty-five years later, the British duo K Foundation performed an artwork by burning banknotes to the value of a million pounds sterling. By the twenty-first century, when Banksy’s $1.4 million Girl with Balloon dramatically shredded itself to pieces in front of a stunned audience at Sotheby’s, and Maurizio Cattelan taped a perishable fruit to the wall at Art Basel, the venerable system of exchanging enduring artworks for money had been thoroughly and irretrievably deconstructed in theory. It continued to flourish in practice, however, and it blooms anew in the parodic form of the NFT.

The confusion and scorn with which the general public has responded to the sale is no mere backwoods Luddism. It may be true, as the influential dealer and gallery owner Stefan Simchowitz recently pointed out in a Clubhouse chatroom, that NFTs are just another commercial platform based on a new technology. But they also represent the ultimate aestheticization of exchange-value—a process on which artists and art critics have meditated for most of the last century. NFTs are the apotheosis of the tendency described in Guy Debord’s 1967 book The Society of the Spectacle, whereby alienated human labor-power attains an autonomous, performative force by taking a symbolic form. Debord had nothing but scorn for the society of the spectacle, but it would surely be rash to dismiss his prophetic diatribe as cultural elitism.

The real ethical objection to the rise of NFTs involves the elimination of aesthetics itself as a discrete sphere of human experience.

NFTs’ dramatic entrance into the art market announces another stage in this process. It is not access to the artwork that has been sold: anyone with an internet connection can view the content, which has in any case been dismissed by Beeple himself as ‘trash.’ And there is no ‘original’ to which the owner might enjoy exclusive access. What the NFT’s purchaser has bought is not the image itself, or even the copyright to the image, but ownership of the image. Furthermore, this ownership is entirely conceptual or, if you prefer, financial. It does not consist in exclusive rights to view the image; it consists in exclusive rights to sell the image. Ownership of art has become identical with art per se, just as an artwork’s price has become part of its essence. Art has become money, it has turned into currency. The real ethical objection to the rise of NFTs involves the elimination of aesthetics itself as a discrete sphere of human experience.

This erosion of the border between aesthetics and economics is also visible in the financial sphere, where most value now takes the form of ‘derivatives,’ a hyper-symbolic mode of representation whose manipulation for profit looks more like artistic than economic activity as traditionally understood. Meanwhile, artists like Beeple assimilate the market dynamics which give their work value into their art itself. He is a true heir of Kaws, whose current retrospective at the Brooklyn museum was characterized by the New Yorker’s Peter Schjeldahl as ‘a cheeky, infectious dumbing-down of taste’ where ‘blandness reigns.’ The content of Beeple’s work is unimportant. Its images are self-consciously banal, proudly lowbrow, deliberately jejune. But it is not images that Beeple is selling. They’re not even what he’s creating. What he’s creating, what he’s selling, is ownership: financial value. The advent of the NFT renders the distinction between art and money obsolete.

Does McLuhan’s dismissal of the mid-century cultural elite and their suspicion of the new media as a ‘moral panic’ apply to the widespread critical suspicion of NFTs in our own day? There is surely an element of elitism, and even envy, behind the cultural gatekeepers’ dismay at Beeple’s success. But that does not mean there are no reasonable or ethical objections to the NFT’s forced union of art and money. If aesthetics and economics are not merely analogous but actually identical, we must bid farewell to aesthetic experience itself. Art will no longer be even theoretically autonomous of the market. There will be no sphere of experience that can meaningfully be separated from finance. The prospect of Beeple’s $69 million will undoubtedly encourage many to tie the knot (as evidenced by the upcoming Sotheby’s and Phillips auctions entirely dedicated to digital art NFTs), but the marriage of art and money may well turn out to be fraught, fractious and ultimately unfeasible. And divorce is always expensive.

Source: https://athenaeumreview.org/essay/digital-art-nfts-the-marriage-of-art-money

[rirururu]

Why Zenitsu is my Favourite Character in Kimetsu no Yaiba

NO SPOILERS FOR THE MANGA

Yeah, it’s pretty cool that the guy can one-shot anything he sees. Let’s just get that out of the way. It’s hype. He’s like a Pikachu version of One Punch Man but with his personality in the supreme opposite end of the spectrum which consequently makes him just as funny and badass to watch. I think that’s initially what draws most people to his character on a surface level. Heck, that’s what made him so endearing when I was introduced to the series as well. But he’s evolved into so much more than that for me over time.

AKA. That in-depth analysis post that I make every year that is way too long because I want to talk about something so badly but no one else is doing it.

I remember catching up to the manga a few weeks ago and not being able to choose who my favourite character was. They’re just all so good. It was at some point that I realized while flipping the pages, to my (pun intended) shock, Zenitsu was and probably always has been the character I looked forward to seeing the most. It’s like he snuck up on me and was already clinging before I even noticed he was there. Sure the running gag where he fights while sleeping is amusing to watch. Sure the Thunder Breath is an amazing technique. He has a great design to back all of that up, not to mention that his backstory tugs at the heartstrings. But change a few words around and you could apply that reasoning to basically any character in the series.

There lies my dilemma where I couldn’t decide on a favourite of the cast. What stuck out to me and started setting Zenitsu apart from the rest was how he fought. Of course, this isn’t the only reason I like him so much. However, I feel that a lot of people misinterpret his fighting style so it seems best to use that as a starting point.

Sadly, the fact that he needs to be unconscious in order to battle and that his conscious personality is so abhorrently pathetic compared to his sleeping one isn’t new to anime and has been done countless times. Like many people, I expected the usual revelation of Zenitsu having a split personality or alter ego or “dark yandere side.” I’ve seen either it or some variation of it so many times in anime, manga, and video games. I mean, how else would anyone explain his ability to fight while sleeping? It’s the easiest way to have any of it make sense and is the route most stories like to go.

It very quickly seemed like the path his character was taking would be entertaining but ultimately not unique in any way. Seeing as most characters of his type rely on the gag / fighting style in order to remain zany and popular, he most likely wouldn’t develop much past it either. But as the series progressed and very early on (ie. where the anime is now), you come to realize that this simply isn’t the case.

To begin with, it’s apparent just by watching episode 17 that there is no crazy side of his mind at work here. When Zenitsu sleeps, he fights. When he fights, he's dreaming. He states here immediately after waking up that he had such a wonderful dream about being powerful like he’s always wanted. He had a dream where he was strong enough to defeat the demon and brave enough to make decisions. But evidently, that’s exactly what he was doing in reality. When he dreams, he’s the one controlling his own body in the outside world and making judgements on what to do in battle.

How does he do this without say, ramming into a tree about 5 seconds in? He reveals pretty early after his introduction that he’s always had amazing hearing. It was so advanced that it creeped others out and drove them away. One statement he makes in particular is that he can recognize entire conversations that are happening around him even as he’s sleeping. Now, that’s interesting. Why did the series bring that up if it wasn’t important? He can sense someone’s presence, emotions, and even intentions based on sound alone. It’s perfectly logical that, just like Tanjiro, he’s able to detect his surroundings except using his ears instead of his nose. He most likely goes one step further to project that into his dreams in order to fight without any eyesight.

In other words, there is no alter ego. It’s all him. Zenitsu’s just that good. When he sleeps, he’s culminating everything that he trained and all of his hopes and wishes towards becoming a better person who doesn’t run away into that one moment. When he sleeps, he rids himself of all of his fears and doubts so then his body can fight completely on instinct and clear-minded focus. He can do it. But his low self-esteem and fear of dying alone gets in the way. It’s only inevitable that it does. After all, he’s been told his entire life by everyone except one person about how useless he is until he actually believed it. He can’t even stomach accepting compliments on his strength.

That isn’t a normal reaction to being told that one is strong. That scene did a pretty good job of highlighting the contrast between how Zenitsu (very happily) embraces praise on being great versus how he completely rejects the idea of anyone thinking he isn’t a useless coward. It says a lot that his image of himself is so bad that his own body and mind developed this unique way of fighting and force him into losing consciousness as a defense mechanism whenever there’s a threat of death nearby.

Of course, the series makes it no secret that this “running gag” has taken a toll on Zenitsu’s mental health. He always awakens believing that everything he just did only happened in a dream, which explains why he clung to the idea of Shoichi being the powerful one so vehemently. He never gets the chance to confront his fears properly. Subsequently, his hate for his cowardly self grows even bigger each time it happens and so does his belief that he just can’t do it. And that’s what really gets to me. The sleep-fighting is not just a running gag. It’s a snowball effect. The series uses what seems like a gimmick that is so worn down in anime to the point of becoming a troupe and turns it into a young boy’s ongoing uphill battle against his own mind and hate for himself.

That’s why it’s so important that by the end of the series, Zenitsu learns how to fight without sleeping at all.

Yup, that’s right. His character seems to be heading the exact opposite direction of where I thought he’d go because of how counter-intuitive it is. For the sake of his own growth, he has to overcome and be rid of the zany gag that was what initially drew watchers to him in the first place. Eccentric traits such as this are usually a safety net for stories that aren’t confident enough in their plot or characters. It’s how authors get more sales. But Zenitsu isn’t written out to be a butt monkey badass for views. He’s written as a real person. He’s failed. He’s succeeded. Some people believe in him while most don’t, but what really matters is that he starts believing in himself.

Zenitsu as a character really speaks to me in that sense. He can only do one thing. After all these years of training, he can only perform one single attack. It’s discouraging to work so hard and only be able to achieve one goal while others can reach triple the amount with half the effort and time. It’s easy to start running away and thinking you can’t do anything right because of that.

Despite the poetry that shounen anime like to wax, that’s the reality for most of us when our lives are on the line. We complain and laugh about how annoying Zenitsu is when he imitates a whiny baby that screams in fear at everything, but the fact of the matter is that the way he acts is the most realistic given his upbringing of people looking down on him, his past filled with failures, and the effect that his continued sleep-fighting is having on his well-being. Why should he die in this war if it’s inevitable that he can’t win and there are other people much better for the job? It’s a chillingly accurate impact that living in a world where it’s so easy to die at the hands of a demon can have on someone.

However, because Zenitsu never gave up, he managed to hone that skill with the intent of at least becoming the best at that one thing. Thunder Breathing First Form is meant to be a straight one-strike attack. If driving school has taught me anything, it’s that the faster you’re going, the more the most minuscule of mistakes can spiral into gigantic deviations in movement. Yet he’s taught himself how to use Thunderclap and Flash six times in a row (hence six fold) and in six different directions / distance of his choosing in such quick succession that it looks like he's using it continuously. We even saw how his fifth step landed him perfectly on a thread so he could bounce off of it for the finishing blow.

Just imagine how much dedication and training it takes to have that kind of control. He grew up with nothing. He’s trained so hard just to be able to do one thing. Now he’s going to make his “dream” of being powerful enough to help people into a “reality” on only that and that alone. His eventual development away from relying on sleep-fighting is a representation of it. And that’s when he officially started ascending into becoming my favourite character.

[wolvesofinnistrad]

Travis and emmett share a shower at the firehouse (prompt)

And also @wholockian-221b  said:The team find out they are together

Read it on AO3

“Travis?” Emmett's voice calls from the hallway and Travis knew he should have closed the shower room door.  The cool tile feels good against his overheated skin as Travis rests his forehead on it; equal parts weary and cautious.

When Emmett had come out to the station, and subsequently broke that poor girl’s heart right before their engagement dinner Travis didn’t really know how to feel.  As any gay man, he was happy to see Emmett taking steps to live his truth and not be afraid anymore, even if Chief Dixon still didn’t know the exact reason for his son’s sudden breakup or even that he’d come out to most of the people in his life besides him.  

And Travis couldn’t deny that he was happy for Alicia to be rid of the lie she had been brought into unfairly.  He still regretted hooking up with Emmett when he was still with her, because sure the first time he didn't know, but the second time he had.  The only thing he could do was blame it on some undeniable connection he had with Emmett, where no matter what emotion he felt for him it seemed to heightened to the extreme.  Desire that first night, rage and disgust later after finding out his litany of secrets, and compassion and pride once he finally came out.

Now, well now it seemed he’d somehow circled back to desire and it was really messing with his head.  Emmett was a newly out guy, a baby gay if ever the term had applied to anyone, and Travis knew the first thing the guy needed wasn’t immediately falling into a relationship. Travis himself didn’t need to be a rebound either, he deserved better than that after the string of relationships he’d had.

Then again, as much as his mind wanted to remind him that dating a firefighter hadn’t turned out well in the end last time, that it did seem to be his type.

Besides, the little rabbit was kind of adorable, when he wasn’t being terrible at his job at least.

“Travis, you in here?” Emmett says again, and this time he pushes open the shower room door and catches sight of Travis.  The younger man wastes no time heading over and pulling back the curtain.  It’s so reminiscent of that first morning they’d spent together that Travis tries to mentally ward himself for whatever it is Emmett is about to say.

Except, Emmett doesn’t say anything, he just stands there, staring at Travis in some strange mixture of shock and arousal.

“Probie?” Travis finally asks, sneaking a peak out of the corner of his eye, watching Emmett gulp and try to drag his eyes away from Travis wet and naked body and back to his face.

They’d been dancing around one another since Emmett’s coming out, not giving in to the gravitational pull they clearly both felt.  

“Fuck it,” Emmett breathes, and Travis only has a moment to raise an eyebrow in question before Emmett is tearing his uniform off.  They’re alone in the station, the rest out on a call, but this is still at terrible idea.  They both know it.

It doesn’t stop them.

Travis forgets about all the reasons he’d given himself to stay away, to give Emmett time to find himself on his own, to ignore the sexual tension, to consider all the problems them being together had already caused and would cause in the future.  It all slips away like the droplets of water running down Emmett’s alabaster skin as he steps beneath the shower and reaches for Travis.

A hand on Travis neck, on his hip, one reaching for Emmett’s body in kind to complete the connection like a live wire searching for grounding. Their lips meet and for all that Emmett seems to be afraid of fire, neither of them shy away from the roaring conflagration that embrace creates.

One hand slides down to cup Emmett’s ass, warm skin a caress against his palm.  His other glides into that short blond hair, tugging just so, the way his mind recalls made Emmett moan so prettily.  It doesn’t fail to this time, Emmett groaning, pressing his shower slick body closer until there’s nothing between them but the rivulets of water cascading down their bodies.

For his part Emmett has one hand sliding up and down Travis’ flank, as if he can’t decide if he wants his chest, his abs, his hips or something lower beneath his fingertips.  His other hand reaches around to find Travis back, the muscles taut and strong, Emmett’s own fingernails dragging against skin and leaving marks.

“This is a really… Really bad idea,” Travis bites out between kisses, his own advice doing nothing to curb the fervor growing within him.  His teeth nip at Emmett’s lip, tugging on it as his hand skims across the man’s backside, sliding between those mounds of flesh and eliciting a sharp pang of pleasure from his partner.

“I don’t care anymore…  I just, I want this, I want you Travis.”  Emmett pulls back a moment after his words, staring into Travis eyes so eh can see the certainty in them.  “What I said the last time I was in this room with you…  It was premature, and stupid and me grasping at the first real connection I’d ever felt but I...”  Emmett bites his own lip, the skin already red from where Travis had worked it over. “But that emotion beneath it, that feeling it is there…  And in time, I think, maybe, that I could mean it.  About you, with you.  If you’ll give me a chance. I-”

Travis cuts his apology, or confession, whatever it is off with a kiss.  His hands travel up, cupping Emmett’s face in his palms and holding him still as he kisses him slow and deep.  The passion rolls off him in waves, and its not just his body that feels inflamed now.

“I’m done fighting what I want, you’ve been showing me you can grow, that you can change, and I see it.  I see that desire, not just to do better, but to be better.  I want to be there to help you on that journey, for however long I get to be.”  Travis smiles, kissing Emmett again, taking his time to really let it sink in and settle in the other man’s bones, that certainty about it that only comes in the moment, the clarity of the adrenaline whether its on the job or a stolen moment like this.

Their hands roam and explore, finding the places desperate for touch, for more than a caress or a parting glance.  Emmett almost sobs when Travis takes him in hand, forgetting for a moment to return the favor but getting a throaty moan from Travis when he does.  Travis twists his wrist just so, drawing a broken sound out of his partner, watching with glee as Emmett drops his head to the crook of Travis neck and shoulder.  The man tries to suck and bite there to regain his composure, to give as good as he’s getting, but Travis has far more experience and knows just how to wreck poor Emmett.

A sly smile splits Travis lips as his hand winds it way up that delicious back towards Emmett’s blond locks.  “Why don’t you show me just how much better you can be?” he asks, licking his lips as he remembers how awkward Emmett had been their first time together.  The second time he was less wildfire and more controlled burn, it was time to see if the man had gotten the hang of things after Travis expert teaching. Gently, as if a suggestion more than a demand, his pressed against Emmett’s head and shoulders, watching the mans ink to his knees with a grace he seems to only have in the bedroom and the art studio.

Emmett’s lips kiss and suck, teeth nipping and grazing skin as he works his way down. His fingers wrap around Travis length, stroking once, twice, eyes cast upwards to watch the way Travis eyes flutter close and mouth slides open.  In imitation of it Emmett follows the motion, reaching out with his tongue, flicking over his lover intimately.  The taste is all salt and skin, water and something uniquely Travis.

His hands work in tandem, one on Travis teasing and caressing in time with his mouth, the other dragging down his own body until he can help himself.  It’s a sight Travis can barely stand to look away from, all thoughts lost to the feel of Emmett’s mouth, Emmett’s hand, the breathy moans. His body feels aflame, so hot he wonders why the water isn’t turning to steam the moment it crashes against his skin like rainfall after a forest fire.

“Emmett…  Fuck, Emmett I’m...”  Travis’ body begins to coil in on itself, building and building.  His hands are in Emmett’s hair tugging, pulling, haphazard motions meant more to burn restless energy than to instruct or lead.  Emmett’s efforts seem to redouble and he doesn’t want this to ever end, despite knowing he’s on the precipice of falling, in more ways than one.

Of course, so lost in their passion, neither man hears the firetrucks pulling back in, the clamor of bodies undressing and bee-lining for the showers, full of soot and smoke.  So when Jack and Dean stroll into the shower room their eyes travel immediately to the sight of Travis crying out in ecstasy just as Emmett, on his knees before Travis, finds his own release.

“Oh shit!” Jack laughs, Dean’s jaw going slack behind him in shock.

Travis only has a split second to feel the intense pleasure of his orgasm before he hears Jack and his entire body jerks, nearly tripping as he presses back against the tile of the shower wall.  He nearly slams his knee into poor Emmett’s face in his haste.

Emmett on the other hand seems to be in total shock, mouth still hanging open, a trail of spit and something that definitely isn’t shower water hanging from his lip as he stares at his fellow firefighters.  It’s only when the commotion draws a half dressed and weary Maya and Vic to the door that he grabs for his own clothes on the floor, trying to cover himself a bit and blushing from head to toe.

“Really?” Maya says, sighing as she turns and walks out of the room.

“Aww yeah, get it boys!” Vic says, shrieking with laughter as Dean pushes her out of the door in his own haste to leave.

Jack just gives them a supremely awkward thumbs up before giggling like a maniac as he walks out.  “We’ll give you two a minute.  This is the best day ever now.”

“Well…  I guess there’s a second time for everything...” Travis says before starting to laugh as he leans against the wall.

Emmett looks up, his embarrassment turning to confusion.

“Me and my, uh, late husband also got caught in the fire house showers once.” Travis wonders if that isn’t going to be a mood killer but is pleasantly surprised when Emmett just chuckles.

“Well, at least I’m in good company.”  The smile he flashes Travis is so adorable and soft that he can’t help but kiss the idiot again.

“Come on rabbit, let’s get out there and get this over with.”

“Rabbit?” Emmett asks as he’s trying to dry off.

Travis laughs, shaking his head as he towels himself dry.  “Long story, I’ll tell you after our shift is over.  Maybe…  Over dinner at my place?”

Emmett’s smile looks wider than ever as he nods enthusiastically.  “I’d like that.”

“Good.  Now, prepare for the ever so wonderful world of being grilled about firehouse fraternization rules and being the hot new gossip.”

Almost the moment they walk out past Jack and Dean heading for the showers they’re stopped by Vic and Maya who pull Travis and Emmett away respectively to talk in private.

Later, sitting in the kitchen eating while everyone else showers Travis and Emmett try to just put their heads down and get through the rest of the shift.

Of course, the station is never that kind.

“I cannot believe you two got caught hooking up in the showers.  I’m not even sure who I should be more surprised about, Travis the vet or Probie who only just recently came out” Jack says, pointing between them.

“Considering how often Travis last boyfriend was here, I’m going to say probie on this one.”  Dean goes to grab some food, shaking his head as the rest of the team files in.

“Listen, as your Captain I have to say don’t fool around in the showers, but I can’t really scold you because, well, if my office could talk.”  Maya winks before sitting down by Emmett.

“Oh, are we talking about the hot new firefighter couple?” Vic asks as she comes swaggering in, no longer full of dirt and grime.  “Because I’m all about this, it’s kind of adorable.”

“He is,” Travis says before he can help himself and then rests his head on the table in shame.

“Oh, he’s got it bad!”  Jack busts out laughing again as he grabs a whole carrot and starts eating it.

“Who’s got it bad?” Andy asks as her, Sullivan and Ben, the only ones that didn’t see Travis and Emmett in the shower, walk in.

“We caught Travis and Emmett getting it on in the showers.”  Vic cackles as she relays this to them.

Sullivan gives them a stern look.  “Do I need to have a discussion about workplace rules?”

“Oh, save it Mr. me and Herrera got married in secret,” Maya says which shuts Sullivan up.

Ben just laughs, congratulating them before heading over to help with food.

“So, is this like, a one time thing or…?” Dean asks, to which Vic, Maya, Emmett and Travis all reply at once ‘no.’

Travis and Emmett smile at one another, a shy little thing that everyone teases them about.  It’s good.  Beneath the table Travis grabs Emmett’s hand, and it doesn’t take an expert to see the joy, the admiration and the sense of freedom written in every line of Emmett’s face to be living life the way he wants.

Next on Travis list, making sure to train Emmett out of his panic, fears and into being the best firefighter he can be.  If the kid is gonna do the job Travis is going to make sure he does it right, he’s already lost one firefighter, he’s not going to lose another if he can help it.

[xb-squaredx]

Please Don’t Sleep on Hades

2020’s…been a real year, huh? At a time when in-person gatherings aren’t much of a thing and people have to stay in, video games are suddenly a pretty attractive option. That said, few games have really grabbed me this year; in a roundabout way, 2020’s been a year of reruns, as I go through a lot of games I’ve already played or games that are just yesterday’s news (but new to me!). However, in the nick of time, the folks at Supergiant Games delivered unto us their latest title, Hades. While they’ve been working on this game for years, with it hitting Early Access on Steam back in 2018, the full version of Hades finally hit Steam, the Epic Game Store and made the leap to consoles with the Switch, which is where I picked it up. It has been a WHILE since I’ve had a game grab me so strongly so early on, and I’ve been hearing this game’s praises for years now already, so allow me to happily state why I think Hades is worthy of the hype and is a fantastic game I’d easily recommend!

DADDY ISSUES

OK, so first things first…you don’t actually play as Hades in this game, but rather his son Zagreus. Ol’ Zag has had it with his father, and tries to literally fight his way out of hell to reach the surface, and no matter what his old man puts in his way, Zagreus (and the player) will meet the challenge. And probably die, but hey, that’s OK! In the underworld, death is more of an inconvenience than anything else, so after taking a moment to dust himself off, Zagreus will head out for another attempt. For as long as it takes.

Hades is a rogue-like, meaning it’s a game based around randomization and adaptation. On any given “run” of the game, the level layouts, enemies present and the variety of power-ups Zagreus can find will be left to chance, with the player challenged to amass the best build they can to eventually break out of hell and reach the human world and if you die…start from scratch. That said, Hades is among the ever-growing sub-genre of rogue-lites, in that there IS some permanent progression, which takes a bit of a sting out of dying, but more on that later. Now, most games of this type aren’t really big on story. They have a premise that’s little more than an excuse to play. Splunkey wants you to explore a cave, The Binding of Isaac sees you escaping a basement and in Enter the Gungeon you uh…e-enter the gun—you get the point! But what separates Hades from most rogue-likes/lites is that there actually IS a very interesting story that unfolds as you play.

There’s more to Zag’s desire to get to the surface than just getting away from his father, though their strained relationship certainly doesn’t help matters, and over the course of your many, MANY escape attempts, players learn of the rather screwed-up nature of Zagreus’ family of deities, though any mythology nut could tell you to expect that. Hades has an incredibly charismatic cast, superb voice acting across the board, and some real sharp writing that really got me wanting to meet anyone and everyone and learn more about this world. You’re likely to run into Hypnos first, who always has a “tip” ready for you when you meet your end to a given enemy or hazard, or the fabled hero Achilles, who acts as a mentor to Zagreus. There’s Dusa, the adorably frazzled flying gorgon head who acts as the House of Hades’ maid, and of course…Megaera, of the Furies.

She serves as the first proper boss in the game, and will be a pretty sizable challenge for most players, but as you eventually overcome her again and again, she and Zagreus end up attempting to reconnect with each other, and her recurring fights become an excuse to flirt and test each other. I may as well say too that it’s easy to fall in love with the characters in this game because…I-I mean, just look at them! This game is a bisexual’s paradise, that’s all I’ll say.

A bit of a fun fact, but Zagreus’ voice actor, Darren Korb, is also a composer at Supergiant, so he’s a man of many talents, since Hades has a killer score. From the laid-back tunes at the House of Hades where you can unwind and recharge after a botched run, to the pulse-pounding boss theme, there’s some GREAT music on display here. And that’s before you meet Orpheus and Eurydice, two characters with amazing singing voices that, if you play your cards right, might start singing together. The game’s visuals, meanwhile, aren’t a slouch either. While the level layouts are randomized, everything manages to look well-crafted, each region of the underworld having their own distinct look and feel. The fiery pits of Asphodel end up juxtaposing well with the paradise that is Elysium. Now, character models are generally less-detailed since the camera stays zoomed out to give players a good view of the action, but the portraits for the various characters more than make up for it with their distinct, detailed designs. A-And I’m not just saying that because everyone’s hot! Now, admittedly you might take a look at Zag and think he’s nothing but an edgelord and the game itself might be taking itself too seriously, but in reality, Hades strikes a pretty good balance, and definitely carries a sense of humor. Characters love to snark at each other, the various Shades chilling in the House of Hades’ lounge have some funny conversations you can listen in on and all told, the game only gets serious when appropriate. Really, I have no real complaints with the game on a presentation level; it’s all aces so far, and thankfully the game-y part follows suit!

LIVE.DIE. REPEAT.

Hades is best described as a dungeon-crawler. You have an isometric view as you move about, avoiding hazards and fighting off enemies as you climb each chamber on your way to the surface. Defeat every enemy in a chamber and get a reward. Sounds simple enough until you factor in all of the various permutations of events; Hades aims to make sure no two runs are alike, with different enemies, power-ups and challenges awaiting you. All of this is doled out slowly, as with each subsequent playthrough you begin to have more of the game unraveled. First and foremost, Zagreus can gain various Boons from the other Olympian Gods, who are sympathetic to his plight and lend him some power if he makes contact with them. Each God has their own twist on the abilities they grant Zagreus. They can all increase his stats in some way, or affect either his dash ability or his Cast, a projectile attack. For Zeus, naturally, all of Zagreus’ moves will gain an electric effect, whereas Artemis focuses more on upping Zag’s critical hit chance. Dionysus, the God of Wine, grants you the “hangover” status effect, allowing your attacks to uh…make enemies drunk? Sure! You’ll be given a random selection of three Boons to pick from, of varying rarities. Over the course of a run, you might try to nab as many Boons from the same God as possible, or vary it up and see which abilities synchronize together. At times, you might even be granted a Duo Boon, where two Gods decide to combine their power for a special ability that plays to both of their strengths. Still, at other times, you might be forced into a Trial of the Gods, where you must choose one God’s Boon over the other, with the snubbed God lashing out afterwards. Hey, just because they’re Gods, doesn’t mean they’re nice. Of course, you’ve also got a variety of health and weapon upgrades too. In fact, let’s gush about the weapons for a second, shall we?

At the time of writing, Hades has six weapons to play with. You start with a sword, which is the all-rounder of the set, but as you gain keys to unlock more weapons, you can start to really experiment. The bow and rail cannon serve as ranged options with different approaches, while the spear is the melee weapon with the best range at the cost of pure power. The shield grants you absolute defense at the cost of range, while the gauntlets let you unleash your fisticuffs on underworld scum, though leave you with limited ranged attacks. Each weapon has specific Boons and weapon upgrades you can find as well, some of which can radically alter how a weapon works. The rail cannon, for example, fires a lot faster than the bow, but this is balanced by needing to manually reload…unless you get a weapon upgrade that gives you unlimited ammo with the only catch being that you can only do burst fire. Adding to this, players eventually unlock hidden Aspects of weapons, morphing them into different forms which can also influence their moveset. Change the shield to the Aspect of Zeus, and when you throw your shield Captain America style, it stays out and continually spins, dealing tons of damage over time and effectively forcing enemies to get sliced to bits if they want to get near you. I didn’t expect this game to have half this many weapons or to have them balanced so well. Really, just like anything else, weapons are another tool you can poke and prod and experiment with until you get a truly killer collection of Boons and upgrades that let you just demolish anything in your way. It’s very satisfying when you finally clear a run with a great build…though depending on the RNG, you WILL get some crummy builds, but that’s the nature of the rogue-like!

It’s likely that a bad build (or really, just getting hit with a new boss or enemy you aren’t prepared for) will lead to a death, but as already established, death isn’t really that much of an inconvenience in the underworld. Zagreus just spawns back at home and is free to immediately try to escape again, but this brief reprieve lets you chat up whoever happens to be around, give them gifts, advance some side-quests, pet your dog Cerberus and practice with weapons and such before you’re ready to go at it again. It’s after a run that you also get to spend a lot of the spoils of your escape attempts. While you lose Boons and weapon upgrades and the like upon death, there’s a LOT of various items you keep with you that have plenty of uses. Darkness shards are used for permanent skills that can be applied to Zagreus, like Death’s Defiance, which grants Zagreus another life upon dying, which can eventually be upgraded to give him THREE extra lives, just as an example. Precious gems can be used to fund a variety of cosmetic changes to the House of Hades. Just because Zagreus doesn’t want to live there anymore, doesn’t mean he can’t at least make it look good! Nectar can be gifted to other characters to improve your relationships with them, with bottles of Ambrosia being required later on, while special keys can be used to unlock weapons, more upgrades for your Darkness shards, or just used as a secondary currency for trade. There’s really a LOT of different items to mess around with, though admittedly if you’re the type to want to max out EVERYTHING you’ll be in it for the long haul, as there is not only a LOT of stuff to upgrade and purchase, but the random nature of things means rewards are never a guarantee. Though it’s worth noting the game’s totally beatable without going nuts with completion. Which I guess leads me to the biggest compliment I can give this game: even after “beating” it, I still can’t stop playing, and there’s plenty of reason to keep going.

REPLAYS AND REWARDS

So, full disclosure, I’ve gotten Zagreus to the surface. Several times, actually. But I haven’t quite “beaten” the game yet. In fact, at the risk of sounding pretentious, it is as if the true game begins after you’ve beaten it once. Without getting into specifics, let’s just say the game gives you a very good in-story reason to keep playing, and you won’t reach credits without several completed runs under your belt. And even then, there’s still stuff to do. I’m almost 30 hours into Hades and I’ve barely scratched the surface honestly. Every major character has their own sidequest you can undergo, but it can be slow goings when it comes to advancing them. Trying out all the weapons and boons and different combinations will easily take dozens of hours to fully experience, though the game has a handy in-game list of what you’ve done and haven’t done, as well as in-game achievements with tangible rewards that will spur you on. I was admittedly surprised at how dense of a game Hades can be. A successful run will likely take you somewhere between a half-hour to an hour, which is pretty devious. Just long enough to stay engaging throughout, and short enough that I can keep convincing myself that I have time for “one more run” and then suddenly several hours have gone by. Strangest thing.

Something that’s become a bit of a staple of Supergiant’s work is customizable difficulty, various modifiers you can flip on to make the game harder if you so desire, which in Hades takes the form of the Pact of Punishment. After a successful run, you can turn on a given pact to spice things up for subsequent runs. Maybe enemies do a bit more damage, or you give yourself a super strict time limit to clear a run. You can give enemies armor that makes them sturdier, or jack up the in-game shop’s prices. You can even be forced to give up Boons in order to advance past certain doors! Probably the most impressive Pact is Extreme Measures, which ends up greatly affecting the boss fights in the game…trust me when I say you won’t be ready for them the first time you flip that on. Activating a given pact increases a “heat gauge” that, should it reach a given level, will end up granting you various special items to help with fully upgrading and unlocking stuff. Of course, with each successful run completed with a given Pact activated, you’ll have to raise the heat more and more in order to keep getting these upgrade materials so be prepared. You can also still gain these materials (albeit at a much slower rate) playing through the game normally though, and there’s really no penalty for choosing NOT to activate a given pact. On the flip side of things, there’s also a God Mode you can toggle on that makes Zagreus a little stronger with each death, which can help those that want to see more of the story but are struggling with the game. Have your God Cake and eat it too!

All and all, this game just delivers on every level and I’ve been devouring it since release whenever I have a spare minute. You can see that Supergiant is taking all the lessons they learned from each previous game and combined it to make what is easily their best game yet. I don’t throw around words like “masterpiece” lightly, but Hades is just such a slam dunk that I’m sorely tempted to call it just that. I mean, if you hate rogue-likes, I’m not sure if Hades will really push you over the edge admittedly? You get way more rewards retained after death than just about any other rogue-like I’ve played, but if you’re the type that hates having to constantly adapt and not being able to memorize what’s coming, I can see this not working for you. But for me at least, I’ve had an absolute blast with the game and the only issue I really have with it is a small nitpick at best. When it comes to getting to know various characters, you can talk to them and give them Nectar or Ambrosia as a gift right? But what happens if they don’t show up on a given run? Or what if they DO show up, but they’re locked into a conversation with someone else? That means you can’t really advance anything with them until a given dice roll pities you. MEGAERA I THINK YOU’RE COOL, PLEASE JUST TALK TO M—oh sorry, don’t know where that came from… So yeah, that’s the nittiest of picks.

I adore this game’s cast, the voice work and music is excellent to the ear, the combat is engaging, the gameplay loop is addicting…need I say more? I mean, I’ve said almost 3000 words, but to really sum it up…I highly recommend Hades and I hope you don’t pass it up if you’re even remotely interested. You can find it on Steam, the Epic store and Switch as of right now, and I don’t think you could go wrong with any version.

Blood and darkness await you.

-B

[ultrahpfan5blog]

Rewatching the HP and FB movies

I have a tradition of rewatching HP movies at least once a year. This year, I added the two FB movies as well. I know lots of people have well deserved issues with a lot of thing with the franchise and I do too, but I still thoroughly enjoy the movies. All of them. Certainly there are some big issues I have, like how Kloves treated Ron starting from GOF onwards, and how Hermione kind of became a mary sue, and definitely some of the things that were added or removed, like the removal of some of the Riddle memories in HBP, removing the pretty fascinating Dumbledore backstory in Deathly Hallows, the silly inconsistencies like polyjuice not changing the voice of the characters etc... But in general, I still think the movies did a great job capturing the spirit of the books and the casting was just incredible. Especially the adult casting. I know we have only seen one version of Harry Potter on the big screen, but I envision these actors, especially the adults, when I’m reading the books now. Alan Rickman, Maggie Smith, Robbie Coltraine, Mark Williams, Julie Walters etc... are now the faces I see when I think of those characters. Richard Harris was a terrific Dumbledore for the first two movies, where he had more of grandfatherly, twinkling, vibe. I know people are critical of Gambon in GOF and he admittedly did get the characterization wrong, but I feel he was excellent in POA, OOTP, and especially HBP. Alan Rickman was just so outstanding in the role of Snape. I genuinely feel he should have gotten some Oscar consideration for his performance in DH2. But he was incredible even when he had only a few scenes and had to be super dry in his dialogue delivery. Maggie Smith was similarly wonderful. But these were just the adult regulars, but equally incredible were the phenomenal actors who came for just a few films. There are so many. Gary Oldman, David Thewlis, Imelda Staunton, Helena Bonham Carter, Brendan Gleeson, Ralph Fiennes, Jason Isaacs, Emma Thompson, Jim Broadbent etc... among many others. A lot of these actors only had a film or two where they had a significant presence, but they showed up in cameos in other films, particularly in DH2. I have a lot of respect for the casting directors for this franchise since they cast basically half of all of British’s well respected acting thespians. Even someone like Bill Nighy appeared, just for two scenes in DH1. Rhys Ifans came in DH1 and was terrific in the two scenes he was in. Ciaran Hinds also was in just one or two scenes and he was also very good. And all these actors felt like they gave it their all and that it wasn’t just a paycheck role.

When it comes to child casting, what strikes me is the amazing continuity the series kept. Its one thing to be able to keep the core child actors like Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, and Tom Felton, but one of the most satisfying aspects of the series is that a lot of the core group of side characters were continuously played by the same actors. Not just Matthew Lewis and Bonnie Wright  and the Phelps brothers, but also Alfred Enoch as Dean, Devon Murray as Seamus, and Joshua Herdman as Goyle. It would be very easy to replace some of these side characters over time and no one would notice, but the continuity makes it so much more enjoyable when in DH2 Seamus helps Neville blow up a bridge based on the fact that we know Seamus from the first movie was known for blowing stuff up. Its the small things that make it so great. Possibly the most accurate bit of casting was Evana Lynch as Luna. I honestly can’t think of a single actor more perfectly cast in the series than her. The core quartet were all lovely. Not always consistent, but more than good enough. I actually think Dan was the weakest actor when the series started, but he made remarkable improvement in the back half of the series, especially OOTP onwards. He is outstanding in DH2 I thought. Tom Felton didn’t always have to do much until HBP, but he was excellent in HBP. He does seem to have been stereotyped a little in the other roles I’ve seen him in but it still means he was great. Emma Watson’s performance fluctuated a bit. She was very good as a kid, then she was kind of bad in GOF and in parts of OOTP, but she found her footing again in HBP and especially in DH1, which I still consider to be her best acting performance to date. I think Rupert was always the most natural actor of the lot. He was probably the most hard done by the Kloves because they kind of typecast him as the comedic sidekick, but I can’t fault Rupert because he was a pretty gifted comic. Like Emma, when he got more scope in DH1, he did an incredible job. I would say Bonnie Wright is maybe the only one who didn’t fully grow into the role for me. It probably has a lot to do with writing, but she also really didn’t share any chemistry with Dan which made that relationship feel pretty flat and forced. But all in all the casting really made these movies and they elevate the movies significantly. But I admit all the craft behind it. Also, some of these movies are close to two decades old and the effects hold up quite well. I think there are scenes in the first movie that look a little dated, particularly the flying scenes, but subsequent movies seemed to find the right blend of practical and visual effects to make the movies look pretty timeless. 

I think all the directors did their job really well. Columbus did a good job of bringing the childlike wonder of the initial books to life, Cuaron brought his more adult quality as the kids grew up, Newell ramped up the scale and the scope, and Yates managed to bring home the darkness. Definitely the films weren’t flawless. Like I mentioned before, there were times when some characterizations were off, some key subplots were eliminated or not handled well, some things added which were not needed etc... but the spirit of the books remains. I have a deep fondness for the movies as I feel I grew up with them as I am basically the same age as all the main child actors in the movie so I grew up and watched them grow up. So while they aren’t in the league of greatest films of all time, but its a remarkably consistent and enjoyable franchise that lasted an entire decade.

When it comes to Fantastic Beasts series, I was excited that Yates and Rowling were developing something new but I also feared what would happen given they didn’t have the structure of a book series to guide them. The fears ended up being fairly valid. The first FB is a pretty enjoyable film. I do think they did a good job creating a likable quartet of main characters and the actors all did a pretty remarkable job. It was also a refreshing change to watch Magical World from an adult POV as well as experiencing a new location and time period as well. The issue with the first film is that the film has two separate storylines which don’t really merge well together. The story of Newt, Jacob, Tina, and Queenie finding and recapturing the suitcase of magical creatures is actually very charming. The film does a nice job of creating some unique magical creatures and adding something new to the Magical World, but then there is a dark and gloomy second plot which doesn’t work as well because it essentially isn’t much of a story other than just showing Credence being abused and manipulated time and time again until the climax. It neither merges well tonally, nor plot wise. The way they try to put Newt at the center of the climax felt very clumsy and unearned. Overall, the first film still has sufficient enjoyable charm and I certainly like Redmayne, Waterston, Fogol, and Sudol. Farrell was a damn good villain. Miller was a little too mannered for my taste but I understand what he was going for. Voight is there for no reason at all in a perplexing subplot that goes nowhere. But still, more positives than negatives. FB2 is where the franchise really dropped the ball for the first time and Rowling’s inexperience as a movie screenplay writer became very obvious. The film is literally a setup for future movie, designed to get characters into certain places where the real story can start. the film essentially has no plot other than a bunch of wizards across Europe are looking for Credence and Credence is searching for his identity. There is really nothing else in the movie. The movie is overpopulated with characters, and Newt ends up even more incidental in this movie since he has no interest in going after Credence himself at all for 2/3 of the movie. All the things that were good about the first movie are lost as Jacob and Queenie only share two scenes together, Tina and Newt only share the last act or so together, Newt and Jacob end up only have a couple of scenes together. Its all rather boring and dull. The performances are fine. Depp was a good enough Grindelwald but I don’t think he was given any more to do other than just be surface level evil. One of the most inspired casting decisions was Jude Law as Dumbledore. While he doesn’t ape Gambon or Harris, he does capture the twinkling spirit of Dumbledore and his scenes are the best. The film also has a rather odd plot concerning Leta Lestrange. It is simultaneously important and completely pointless at the same time. I felt that the character had a compelling backstory and interesting potential but the film barely has time to address it any sort of depth before she gets pointlessly killed off at the end. The film also does a pretty bizarre character assassination of Queenie who makes decision that I really don’t understand. I guess this all boils down to the fact that this story may have worked in Rowling’s head as a book where each character’s internal thought could have been given more depth but what happens is that pretty much every sub story is pretty unsatisfying. Its certainly not an unwatchable disaster, just rather dull and devoid of the spark that the wizarding world movies should have. I hope they can turn things around because the film leaves things at a very peculiar juncture which doesn’t make much sense based on what we know of the HP canon.

[jeremys-blogs]

The Last Unicorn: Unhappy Fantasy

Everybody loves a happy ending. We all love the idea that, no matter what bad things come about, everything will turn out all right when it's all over. That good will triumph over evil, true love will win out and that everything that could go right will go right. But as you get older, you come to realise that this won't always be the case. Bad things will happen, and they will happen to good people at that. But you don't always need to be an adult to come to realise that, as children too can grasp this concept. Media aimed at them will usually try to go for the more upbeat of tones and stories, but every once in a while you'll get a story that just won't want to sugarcoat things. A story that will look at its young target audience and let them know that we won't always get wat we want. For me, the first film to truly do this, to make me realise that not every ending would be a happy one, was the 1982 Rankin/Bass film, The Last Unicorn, an adaptation of the book by the same name by Peter S. Beagle. This movie was unlike anything else I'd seen up to that point, and as I'll say here, it's also unlike most of what I saw afterwards too.

Our story, which I first encountered via an old VHS lent to me by a family friend way back in the early 90s, stars a nameless unicorn who, after an encounter with some humans, begins to feel that she might be the only one of her kind left in all the world. Worried, she sets out from her forest in search of others like her, and along the way she comes across a number of dangers, including witches and bandits, all while picking up a couple of human allies, Schmendrick the magician and Molly Grue. Together they journey to the castle of King Haggard, the man responsible for taking unicorns from the world through the power of his beast, the red bull. But this endeavour takes its toll on the unicorn, as magic forces her into the form of a human girl before her arrival into the castle, which eventually leads to her falling in love with the King's son, Lir. After much time searching, the group once more face off against the red bull, and after resuming her unicorn form, our heroine fights it off, releasing all other unicorns from their imprisonment in the sea. The evil King is vanquished, unicorns have returned, and the party go their separate ways, with their journey now complete.

Now, to this day, I can't recall another animated film meant for children that has this kind of feel to it as I watch it, and bear in mind that I've known it for the better part of thirty years now. It's a kind of melancholy that just sits there in every moment. This is a fantasy world, yes, but it's also a fantasy world where a lot of the wonder and majesty that you might find has come and gone. A world where all the truly great things have faded. The unicorn we see is truly the last of her kind in the world, to the point where even two random human can recognise it. The fantastical creatures locked up in the cages of the witch? Unreal illusions hoaxed by her to fool gullible carnival-goers. The land King Haggard rules over is barren and dead, a far cry from the lush place it supposedly used to be before his rule. Even characters like Molly are those who feel like their best days are behind them, to the point where she feels initially quite bitter to see the unicorn at this point of her life, rather than as the young maiden she used to be. This whole world just feel worn down, past its prime, which was really quite something for someone as young as I was when I first saw it.

And it's not just the overall world that has this feel to it. Characters both ordinary and fantastic just struggle with feeling happy a lot of the time, or even optimistic. Schemndrick is constantly frustrated over his lack of magical talent, Molly, as I said, has grown up disillusioned with the supposedly romantic life of an outlaw's wife, and as for the Unicorn herself, she undergoes more than a few bad times. The transformation into a human girl utterly horrifies her, and it's something which puts her in a truly unenviable situation during the final act. A choice between her original life and her newfound love for Lir is put before her, and in the end it's not even her that makes the choice. She returns to being a unicorn and, as a result, can no longer be with the Prince she's come to care for. When the movie is on its last moments, she laments what has happened, that she regrets returning back to her original form as she will no longer experience love, which is something unicorns apparently can't feel naturally. She's given a happiness and it's taken away from her, and while she's grateful that her kind are back in the world again, this is a sting that's going to stay with her all the same.

And you know, there's one line in this movie that perfectly sums up exactly why it feels the way that it does. It happens towards the end, and Molly wonders if their journey is going to have a happy ending. Schmendrick responds by saying "there ARE no happy endings, because nothing ever ends". This, I think, is a perfect example of just what kind of mindset this story has. It's not trying to be some classic fairy tale of good triumphing over evil with its heroes riding off into the sunset. Good may score a victory over a terrible person and his beast, and yes a force for good is returned to the world, but it comes at a loss. When Schmendrick says this, you feel as though this really isn't the end, that this is just one moment of the much wider story. Good wins today, but tomorrow there might be something else, something where the other side is victorious. When Lir rides off, he'll likely go and do other things, have other adventures of which this was only one, so too will Molly and Schmendrick. It's fascinating to me that one line, only a few seconds long, can conjure up all these worries about what might happen after the curtain falls on our cast, but there it is.

Now I realise that this must make the movie sound incredibly pessimistic, and yeah, it's hard not to come away with that feeling when you finish watching it. This isn't a "happily ever after" kind of story, despite the fact that the goal of the quest was fulfilled. The dour tone of the story is so prevalent that, even as you see a whole herd of unicorn riding free, there's this feeling that something was lost along the way to making it happen. But, despite the story's clear stance of criticising or undermining certain classic ideas of fairy tales and other fantasy tropes, there's nevertheless a spark of hopefulness in here. Despite the hardships, the unicorn triumphs, restoring her kind to the world, even if it cost her something personal. Schmendrick, having gone through his own difficulties, emerges at the end as a fully-fledged wizard. Molly gets to presumably spend her remaining days with someone who treats her well, in stark contrast to the life she had prior to meeting the unicorn. Success arrives to all our main characters, so the film clearly thinks that good things can happen to good people in spite of the glass-half-empty tone it appeared to have, even if those characters had to be put through the wringer to get there.

The Last Unicorn, it must be said, is not a movie to watch if what you're looking for is an unambiguous good time. The mood is sombre, the designs are not exactly appealing with the obvious exception of the title character, and if you're like me you'll likely find yourself finishing this movie with a big scream at the screen saying something like "WHY CAN'T THE UNIVERSE LET THIS UNICORN BE HAPPY FOR FIVE MINUTES?!?!?!" But let it never be said that the film is ineffective at making you feel exactly what it wants you to feel. It set out to create a bittersweet children's fantasy story, and by God it made one. Maybe it was because I first saw it at a young and impressionable age, but subsequent viewings through my life nevertheless made me feel exactly as I did that first time, that I'd just watched something unique and memorable. It's hard to say whether this film deserves to be on any lists of the greatest animated movies of all time, but there's no denying that it did things kids' movies just don't normally try to do, and certainly not back then. It's a sad movie a lot of the time, but if the likes of Inside Out taught us anything, it's that it's okay to be sad every once in a while 😉

[lovelylogans]

:o Please please rant about the 100 and Bellamy!! I was only marginally into it so I don't know much but I love to hear your meta on literally everything!!

all RIGHT. spoilers for the 100 past this point! also i’m gonna go ahead and preface this with a warning about racism, and also that a lot of this is based off stan twitter, but like. they aren’t Wrong.

oh, also, i’m gonna go ahead and drop my stan twitter: i rarely make original posts, but, ya know. it’s a jumble of content. feel free to follow if u want.

also! there’s this whole thread of hiatus drama, if you want a fuller picture than what i’m giving you.

so a quick, general sum-up of some plot that goes into this Whole situation: the sixth season of t100 took place on a different planet, after t100 spent ~5 seasons on earth, so this introduced new characters and also the concept of interplanetary travel. in the season six finale, hope (the daughter of a character, diyoza, who was still pregnant with hope, because ~time travel~) stepped through what’s called “the anomaly,” says “i’m sorry,” and stabs octavia, dissipating her into green mist. bellamy, octavia’s brother (who has had Issues and a Lot of storylines centering around octavia, which is a whole other topic of conversation (ft. bellamy’s storylines centering around white women (bob morley, who plays bellamy, is half-filipino) octavia’s treatment by fandom vs bellamy’s, and you can probably tell which side i’m on by how loudly i screamed “YEEEEEESSSSSSS” when bellamy said “you’re my sister, but you’re not my responsibility anymore” after SIX SEASON of—okay you see, i’m getting off topic) 

anyway, the season closer was that octavia went through the anomaly, which (this is important!) a fair amount of the main characters saw (gabriel, hope, echo, and bellamy, namely) bellamy, in that same season closer, was running through the woods alone, yelling for octavia. season ending. good hook!

and then.... nothing.

seriously. the hiatus between season six and season seven of the hundred (the LAST season of the show, EVER!) there was next to no promotional material. no bts pics, no tweets from cast/crew, nada. nothing. which stirred up quite a bit of complaint in the fandom—one, it’s the last season, can we not have some promotion, and two, it’s the last season, and there’s no promotion by cast/crew/the cw, why is this happening?

seriously. the season seven teaser clip that got aired between episodes on the cw was released before the trailer. it became a meme, how long we were waiting for the trailer. like it was... what, 19, 20 days before the season aired, and all we had was like a stitched-together character poster?

there was also some drama throughout the hiatus, ft. the fandom getting on the news for not getting content in the hiatus, jessica harmon (who plays a guest role, nylah, and whose brother plays murphy) getting snappy at fans on twitter for asking for promotion, and isaiah washington, who played thelonious jaha (a character that died in s5) telling a minor (and also going into their dms!) that he’d call the fbi on them, good times, the 100 fandom is a Disaster and i live a nightmare every day

and then. the trailer drops.

which starts “where is bellamy?” like. people. were SEARCHING for bellamy. people were trying to be optimistic, but rapidly people were also coming to, like, the worst conclusions. however as always t100 fandom did have some jokes, so like, ya know

people were looking forward to other promo: the poster, and also, there’s this tradition of countdown bts photos for the show, and since bob and eliza (who plays clarke, the female lead) just got married, people had high hopes! 

and then came the poster (which had no bellamy, or characters at all) and then the OFFICIAL poster (which had characters, but still no bellamy) which started the hashtag #whereisbellamyblake, because, seriously, he’s the male lead and it’s the last season. also bonus screengrab of this from jroth (the lead writer’s) mom’s twitter lmao

so people rightfully had questions: the excuse that was being given was that including bellamy would be “spoilery,” except, like, it’s a poster? and the only shot of him in the trailer was him being dragged along the ground despite the fact that he was the thumbnail for the trailer? like, okay, which led to some twitter meltdowns, and some more, and again people were fearing the worst, because like, see lexa, jason has a BAD track record when it comes to fan-favorite ships. people were HEATED, people were RANTING, it was a MESS

also. the edited posters were pretty funny, okay, then bob and eliza, bless them, dropped some a+ twitter content, and things calmed down a bit

and then, countdown days started. usually, the order goes bob on one more day, and eliza on show day. except this year? eliza was one more day. which. people were going nuts. because it was a tradition! and keeping BOB out of a behind the scenes where there weren’t any spoilers? it just seemed unprofessional—especially damning, given jason’s past history with ricky whittle, who played lincoln, and was bullied off the set. people were worried that, one, this was affecting bob’s storyline, and two, well. remember that thing about fan-favorite ships? here’s a whole thread of that, btw. and a video of ricky whittle, here.

it is a genuine fear of a lot of the fandom that jason will, in all his pettiness, not give in to bellarke. which is kind of nutty, given that it’s the core relationship of the show, and he himself had said that he’d been foreshadowing it. bellamy and clarke are literally “the head and the heart” of the show.

oh, yeah. so hard cut to the showday pic.

cast. crew. writers. everyone.

except? no bob.

people lost their gotdamn MINDS.

there’s a lot of subsequent drama; the fact that apparently they’re pushing through clarke/gaia (even though there was ??? no previous evidence of this??) still no bellamy for four episodes (seriously, it took clarke, like, two episodes to even cotton onto the fact that he was missing at all)  a lot of criticism of jason (he’s shamed shipping and also, lmao, is trying to push through a spinoff?) and just. Yeah. 

i’m really burnt out when it comes to the 100 fandom; i’ve unfollowed a lot of the t100-centric tumblrs i used to follow, once the show is over i’m gonna unfollow a lot of the twitters and just, yeah. i care about bob and eliza, and i care about bellarke, but the fandom wears me out and the unprofessionalism of a lot of what’s gone down has kind of just? made me lose interest? they’re recycling storylines (esp centering around octavia and bellamy) and continuity doesn’t seem to really be a priority. i just... yeah. i mostly care about bellarke and the fact that i bond a lot with one of my real-life friends through this show. if bellarke doesn’t happen, i’m gonna be like Really... disappointed, mad, irritated? like. imagine. it’s literally So Easy. the actors got married, ffs, you’ve gotten in trouble for ending two ships via very tragic death (in the same season, even!) like how is this Not Clicking

anyway that’s my (entirely too long) rant about t100!!!!

[simonsaidthat]

“It Gets Better Later...” JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure Part 2 (also... Part 2)

Splitting up my written thoughts on JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure into Parts, I’ve finished reading the manga and I’m listing each part from “least looking forward to sitting through the Anime version of to most excited for”. Which doubles as a “Worst to Best” list.

I’ve already listed Part 1: Phantom Blood as the worst entry (it’s not... that bad?) but we’re moving up to the next part that’s not AS bad as Part 1.

Part 2: Battle Tendency

(I have seen the opening, and the opening rocks).

As stated previously, I think the worst Part of Phantom Blood is Will A. Zeppeli, Hamon/Ripple, and basically the entire second half of Part 1. The strongest element of Phantom Blood was Dio trying steal the Joestar inheritance in the first half. The second half is about Johnathan learning random magic bullshit that wasn’t in the first half to find and defeat Dio who was now off-screen.

Part 2 is at least all in on the magic bullshit, so it can instead focus on applying it to its ridiculously escalating series of battles.

And I didn’t really go into greater detail about this, but Johnathan Joestar wasn’t particularly interesting either. He was just kind of a boring ‘good boy’ and any extended screen time made sitting through Part 1 harder and harder.

Joseph Joestar on the other hand was anything but boring. The strongest elements of Battle Tendency were the heroes Joseph, Caeser Zeppeli, and Lisa Lisa. Their dynamic is so good, that I’m frankly disappointed in every other JoJo Part that doesn’t have as strong a group pairing as these three.

After reading 8 different JoJo’s, Joseph might be my favorite Joestar protagonist.

...but Part 2 is still my second least favorite JoJo part.

Look, I’m reading JoJo because everyone keeps recommending the series (and the series they’re most fond of appear to be post Hamon/Ripple stuff), so Part 2 can’t help but be a roadblock in that way, but I attest that it’s not the lack of Stands that makes Part 2 a hard sit through. After all, the inclusion of Hamon/Ripple is what ruined Part 1 for me, and simply removing it would have made Phantom Blood easily in my top 3.

It’s not the Hamon/Ripple that makes Battle Tendency worse, nor is it the lack of Stands. Instead I’d say it’s because in execution, Part 2 is the total opposite of Part 1.

Part 1 had a great antagonist but a boring protagonist; Part 2 has amazing heroes, and boring villains (and one, sympathetic, cybernetic nazi to sour things further).

And I don’t like the Pillar Men.

Hirohiko Araki’s artwork is still a little rough during the early JoJo’s, that I wasn’t sure how large the Pillar Men were. I thought that maybe they were literal giants (which would have been interesting) but it may have just been a perspective thing...

Anyway, the first thing they do is walk through people and cause them to melt through contact. They seemed kind of boringly invincible beings which, to be fair, does lead to the one thing I like about the Pillar Men, is how susceptible they are to Joseph’s bluffs. This helps to elevate how unpredictable Joseph is (hence being my favorite Joestar) but it really hurts my impression of the Pillar Men in the process.

Other JoJo villains share a certain amount of “hubris” as a defining weakness for them, but the Pillar Men in particular come off as being incredibly short-sighted/dumb. They easily have the capacity to kill the heroes by contact and choose instead to give them a months time to “get stronger”.

Seriously? These are the LAST of the Hamon/Ripple Fighters, trained in the art of your only weakness (aside from sunlight which is only a mild inconvenience to them), and your willing to let them go because an idiot blow-hard “lesser being” claims that he can get stronger than you IF YOU LET HIM!!!

...this is probably why other JoJo villains either actively run away from the heroes or only get involved when there’s absolutely no other option and it’s the final battle.

I don’t know, maybe the anime adaption of Part 2 does the Pillar Men more justice (or maybe it’s been long enough for me to get a new perspective on them) but it’s agonizing knowing in advance that these “Super Vampires” are just one arc/part/block in the way of having Stand villains.

Granted, not all Stand Villains are created equal, and even though I’d be more excited to see the Anime Adaption of the next entry on the list... even the Pillar Men might be better than “that guy”.

Part Six: Stone Ocean

(Here comes the first curve ball)

Let me say this about reading through Hirohiko Araki’s writing: every JoJo parts  individual arcs, encounters, “battles”, however you’d describe magic people showing off their weirdo powers to defeat the heroes and the strange stipulations on overcoming those said weird powers;

Everything escalates to higher, grander, tenser encounters, that every Part becomes more lethal than the previous entry. Sure you can probably point to one particular Stand from parts 3-5 and say “nothing beats this”, and I would counter with “Rainbow Snails” and those in the know will hopefully know what I’m talking about.

(That or every subsequent JoJo part finds new ways to trigger some new phobia I didn’t know I had.)

Basically if you think that I would suggest that Stone Ocean, which currently does not have an anime, starring the first female JoJo, is somehow not worth making an anime adaption of, than you’d be wrong. I’d love to find out what the soundtrack of Stone Ocean is gonna sound like for one thing, and Stone Ocean has my absolute favorite supporting character!

...but this one was a disappointment.

There was a point while reading JoJo where I had basically given up on remembering any character names (probably started with Part 3), and instead focused on the general flow of the story beats; “what’s the objective right now, who’s in the way, and who has which stand in the party.” This does occasionally mean I glaze over the details of the Stand fights (which are the highlights), and by the end of reading each Part, I can only really remember what happened in the Story.

And the Story of Part 6 is not as good as its own Stand Battles. (Minor Spoilers from here on out!)

I remember being psyched for Part 6. Female JoJo (who was also Jotaro’s kid), Shawshank Redemption/Green Mile/Prison setting, Dio’s possible return, and some kind of “Universe Ending Climax” that I heard might put all other JoJo endings to shame. But, as it turns out, some of those very elements that I was initially excited for were either absent or turned out to be a detriment to Jolyne Kujo’s story.

(Turns out setting your location in a boxed prison in Florida Marshland is only fun at first. Which is probably why the set is abandoned for the last third of Stone Ocean.)

While reading Part 4, I remember thinking with Jotaro’s inclusion that “I hope Jotaro doesn’t steal the spotlight away from Josuke”. By the time I reached Part 6, I realized that it wasn’t strictly Jotaro that was a problem, but rather the reverence for Part 3′s Jotaro Kujo and DIO.

The STORY of Part 6 seems to be a love letter to Part 3, which actively ruins Part 6.

What was the point of introducing DIO’s additional offspring? As far as I can tell they add nothing to the main villains schemes, nor do they seem to behave in any meaningful way like DIO. Giving them the Joestar Birthmark is only there to convey to the audience that they’re a big deal, and they’re barely in it. And they’re only revealed/show up during the last quarter of the story!

They’re the “Knights of Ren” of the Joestar Universe. Their name/origin makes them sound like a big deal, and they’re not.

If I had to guess, I would suggest that the only reason we’re introduced to “DIO’s kids” is because we needed a group of bad guys with Stands to fight the heroes, but we did not want to explain/worry over how this group of bad guys got Stands in the first place.

The worry over minutia of canon was a poison slowly killing JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure; starting with Part 4′s “we need another JoJo, let’s say Joseph cheated on his wife to have an illegitimate son so we don’t skip forward too far into the future”, and “how did the cast of Part 3 get Stands? Let’s say a Magic Arrow did it, now there’s a Magic Arrow that gives people Stands in Part 4”, the virus of continuity returns in Part 5 and finally takes roost in Part 6.

All because we might’ve taken Part 3 a little too seriously.

Again, DIO’s kids are barely a plot device of Part 6, but I think it’s perfectly emblematic of the problems with Part 6.

Strangely when it came to characters that I liked/disliked, I was able to divide my feelings by gender lines: I really like the Female main cast of characters and I didn’t care about any of the Male main cast of characters. The closest Male character that I liked was “Weather Report” when he was just a stoic support guy, but then he gets his memory back, briefly gets a worse personality, and is thrown aside shortly after.

And then you’ve got the main villain, Enrico Pucci.

One of the joys of reading through each Part was figuring out limitations of each stand user, and the eventual identity/stand of the final boss that must somehow be a greater threat than everything else that came before. If we know the identity of the Villain (Part 3) there’s a dramatic build up to the reveal of their Stand. If we know about their Stand first (Part 5) then we can slowly unravel the identity/appearance of the Villain.

Or you can do what Stone Ocean does and give us both close to the start of the series.

And visually speaking, hinging the plot of Stone Ocean on collecting Memory CD-Rom’s and sending them to the right people is just not exciting. And using this power to steal Jotaro’s Stand Power (this is early enough in the series to be an inciting incident and only a minor spoiler) and NOT USE IT or give it to a henchmen is a wasted opportunity!

I honestly think we missed out on an opportunity to switch Stands among the Party, but I guess that sequence would’ve been too similar to one that played out in another Part.

I hope an anime adaption “changes the CD-ROMS” to be more alien-like. They can still be round-disks/CD-like/vinyl disks, but, I don’t know, have screaming faces of the damned fade in and out of the reflections (faces do occasionally show up, but their usually static portraits to convey to the audience whom the CD belongs to). Make them more horrific/alien to look at.

Voice acting and music may help change things; for a North American Dub I hope Pucci gets the same voice actor as Netflix Castlevania’s Isaac, Adetokumboh M'Cormack. It’s... a very similar role, which would be fun, but I think his voice would provide a lot more charisma for Pucci.

(Apparently Pucci in Part 6 isn’t black, he’s just ambigiously brown and born into a pale white family. I had forgotten about his family, but I’d still like the Castlevania Actor to play him for the previously stated charisma and the casting gag of a loyal servant mourning the loss of his vampire lord).

The soundtrack to this arc has got to be tight if it hopes to elevate itself from the impression I got through reading it.

Also maybe have a filler arc for more Foo Fighters (F.F.) content. (She’s likely the “Tsuyu Asui” of the JoJo Universe, and if she’s not now, she will be once she’s in an anime).

[justonecynicsopinion-blog]

Let's Help Make 'Black Lives Matter' MATTER:  10 Things America Needs To Do

"Walking between the pools of light cast by the street lights I saw the group of them from a block away, joking and jostling each other.  In a dark patch I crossed the street.  One of them noticed and they all stopped and stared, their heads rising like wolves testing the breeze for the scent of potential prey.  The tallest one said something and two of them broke from the pack and meandered across to my side of the road, one putting a hand to the small of his back, the other digging one deep into a pocket."

Who is black in that anecdote?  Who is white, yellow, brown, gay or trans?  Does colour change anything in the story for the teller?  Is the narrator 'blue,' a cop?  Off duty?  On duty?  Does that change anything, substantially, in the story?  

Black Police Are the Original BLM Leaders

They Volunteered For The Job of Protecting Blacks From Violence

The cold reality in America today is that guns are as easy to get as smartphones. That cold reality is what the police face every moment of every day.

Another cold reality is that, from the moment that humans got smart enough to band together instead of erring on the side of caution and scattering in the face of a mortal threat, the most dangerous risk any human faced was a more numerous group of humans. What empowered our species to come to dominate the planet was 'tribalism' (otherwise known as 'racism' and the root of 'nationalism'). It is permanently and indelibly hardwired into each and every human brain.

Familiarization with those 'not of our tribe' reduces the power of our instinctive tribalism over our reactions, but it never goes away. And tribalism is not exclusive to whites -- it is true of every human tribe out there.

What's the Most Crucial First Step BLM Has to Make to Succeed?

Black lives automatically matter less if you don't first acknowledge that blue-black lives matter just a bit more than all lives matter.

I'm not being 'cute': if the black community does not first and foremost stand up for the safety of black cops ("blue-black lives”) who are the ‘front line workers’ in their communities -- the first on scene when there’s trouble -- the claim that black Americans are faced with racism that systematically disadvantages them (places their lives in disproportionate jeopardy to that of others) is at best counter-productive, at worst not in their own best interests. Communities are successful only when we police our own people where we live, protecting each other from injury, trespass and property theft. If black cops tell you that they are more nervous about concealed weapons being drawn on them in their own community than in many others, then we can all begin to understand the knee-jerk, 'self-defence through offence' reactions of any cop in a similar situation where they are scared that a suspect may be going into his vehicle or his pocket, against the cops' specific instructions, to get a firearm.

The police have an EXTREMELY dangerous job in a country with more freely available weapons than there are citizens, and they're on high alert any time there's a confrontation, whether that's entirely justified or not. Add to this the fact that 911 calls come in SEVEN TIMES MORE in predominantly black areas and you have seven times the likelihood of high risk altercations taking place, regardless of what colour the police are.

Perception is not always reality and we don't like it when our most emotionally charged perceptions are proven false. The reality is that statistics prove that black men are NOT shot at a higher rate by white police than white men are, despite the impression that we're left with from media exposure. Racism on the part of white cops towards black civilians, outside of some 'bad actors,' is not the principal cause for needles deaths of black Americans: poverty, public education funding through property taxes and 'The War on Drugs' are.

Living in poor neighbourhoods is the highest risk factor for getting into dangerous altercations for people of any colour. In depressed areas crime may seem to be a good way to solve one's poverty, especially when the quality of public education is low. Young residents have far fewer opportunities to lift themselves out of poverty, regardless of individual ability and their interest in doing so. Living conditions can be so miserable and funding for social services like mental health treatment is so inadequate that taking drugs becomes a viable 'medication' for mental health issues. If the system that sets up the causes for unequal outcomes is not addressed, then the poverty, and subsequent risk of death from criminals and police altercations, will never be reduced.

"Defund the Police!" Really Means "Increase Social Support"

The 'systemic racism' in America lies in the fact that black communities continue to face profound inequality, not in the fact that more crime takes place in their neighbourhoods, per se. To fix the inequality problem we don't need less police, we need more health care, better social welfare support (a universal basic income, NOT more welfare for single mothers) and a vastly improved public school system across all American communities.

Using the overly provocative phrase "DEFUND THE POLICE!" detracts from the real message: "INCREASE SOCIAL SUPPORT“. Decreasing the amount of blue-blacks (and blues in general) in their own communities will only lead to the kind of mayhem and instability that holds the citizens of these areas further back in the competition we call life.

If we begin to place the 'right to zero-harm' for every citizen (including the criminals that exist throughout humanity, whether they are white collar criminals, grey collar criminals, blue collar criminals, or criminals whose full-time job is criminality), above that of the blues (the police), then civilization erodes very quickly into pandemonium. Civilization can only exist based upon mutually agreed-to regulations and laws that are enforced by a publicly funded and trusted police force and a judicial system that is fair across the board.

It is this lack of overall fairness, the current inequality of treatment evidenced by the incarceration rate of poor and black people in the US (especially poor black males from fatherless homes), as well as the lack of gainful employment that drives poor people into miserable lives that lead to drug use and crime, that is currently under debate. However, it is the underlying system, NOT the enforcers of the system, that needs reform. People of every stripe who seek simple answers to complex issues look at the most obvious, superficial symptom and claim that THAT is what needs changing, without understanding where the issues that cause the overall problem really lie.

Black Lives Matter: What's the Real Goal of the Movement?

Momentous 'movements' only change history when their aim is clear and the goal is simple. Either that, or, if the goal is complex and the steps numerous, the movement needs a powerful, central voice to coordinate and direct the movement's direction, step by step to achieve its ultimate goal.

Black Lives Matter simply doesn't matter if it has no clear goal that 'the movement' is aiming to achieve, and actionable steps to get there.

"End systemic racism" SOUNDS like just what America needs to improve the lives of many of its underclass, but a problem cannot be addressed if the meaning of its goal is unclear, or is far too complex to ever be achieved by simply shouting the goal over and over again. In the same vein, demanding worthwhile, straightforward social changes that unfortunately fail to address the roots of the underlying problems are just 'half measures.’ A current example is the recent demand to shift funding away from policing toward more social support like addressing inadequate mental health programs. While this is a necessary and wholly appropriate demand, especially given the growing militarization of the police, the enforcers (police) are largely a symptom, it is the laws -- from 'The War on Drugs’ to financing public education through local property taxes -- that are the cause of the problem.

"Systemic racism" means various things to the many and diverse participants in this growing movement. Definitions range from 'fixing the clearly unjust justice system,' to 'giving the underclass a leg up through improved education,' to 'equal outcomes for all, regardless of effort, ability, experience, or merit'. Other notions include 'ending police use of lethal violence against people of colour,’ to 'hand out large sums of cash to the descendants of former slaves,’ and even 'erase racism (tribalism) from humankind's hardwiring' (which would involve re-writing our genetic code).

"Systemic Racism" is Not Racism, It’s Policies, Programs & Laws

Policies, programs and laws expressly designed to keep the wealth-hoarders in charge, making ever more money, while increasing the inequality that prevents the poor from escaping The Poverty Trap. That trap is equally tough to escape no matter what colour you are and it is gettingmore and more difficult to break free from.

“Systemic Racism,” More Accurately, is “Systemic Inequality”

Systemic Inequality can only be addressed by changing programs, policies and laws in a meaningful, effective manner.

What is the Practical, Core Goal of the BLM Movement?

Once slavery was abolished in America, but not until electricity was available in most homes (outside of those households wealthy enough to employ servants), women were the de facto 'household work force,' they were the largely invisible 'engine under the hood’ of the economy. The Suffragette Movement that brought about the right to vote for white women (voting rights for black citizens in America didn't come to pass until much later) could not have come about until women began to be freed from household chores by electrical appliances. The success of the effort to win voting rights for women only came about once the cause of the problem of women being stuck at home 24/7 (i.e. washing clothes in a tub, hauling water, churning butter, hand-sewing clothing, etc.), was addressed. This continues to be the single biggest barrier to female emancipation in developing world countries (if women are out of sight -- even more so if they are all encased in black bags -- they are out of mind).

To solve any problem we cannot focus on the symptoms. The causes of the problem must first be addressed.

The underlying root cause for women not having the right to vote was not simply brutish male egos, it was a fundamental lack of power. Without the freedom to interact in the wider world outside of the home in sufficient numbers to be seen as a force to be reckoned with, without earning salaries to contribute to the household income, without sufficient education to qualify them to rise up into positions of power, women were powerless and could be ignored. Black and brown voices today face a similar challenge. Until the system that underlies their lack of power is changed and they are empowered to ENTER the world outside of their neighbourhoods by being released from ‘The Poverty Trap,’ until they can be given a leg-up to get the education required to fill white collar positions, they will be ignored by the same lawmakers that ignore the poor white voices demanding, for example, universal healthcare.

The ultimate goal of the BLM Movement MUST be to change the policies, programs and laws that undergird the system at its roots, NOT focussing on eliminating racism, whether in law enforcement or in the larger world. Black and brown lives only begin to matter to the wealth- hoarders at the top when their power is threatened, as happened with the Suffragette Movement. Those women were not demanding equal outcomes, they were demanding equal opportunity. That's a key benchmark for BLM to keep in mind if the movement is going to have any real long-term impact:

The fight is only winnable if it is for equal opportunity, NOT equal outcome.

What Goals Proved Achievable for Past Movements?

The Women's Suffrage Movement had a single goal: allow women to vote. Achieving that simple first goal opened up the Women's Rights Movement that followed, much to the betterment of the lives of 51% of the human population in developed countries over the ensuing decades.

The Abolitionist Anti-Slavery Movement had a clear and actionable simple goal: free the slaves.

A civil war had to be fought over it, but America, ‘land of the free,’ became better for achieving that simple goal.

The Black Lives Matter Movement’s single goal should be: end systemic inequality. Yes, the steps to get there are complex and numerous, but with a shared vision, it can be done.

Ending Systemic Inequality Requires a Fire, Not Just A Spark

Keeping a fire going requires the continual addition of fuel. The BLM protests that were sparked by the murder of George Floyd and many others have ignited a much needed conflagration, but like the Occupy Movement and Tea Party Movement that proceeded it, that fire is likely to die out without a unified, clear goal and shared understanding of all the policies, programs and laws that will need changing to result in the goal of ending Systemic Inequality. The fuel that will keep the fire burning will NOT be protests, it will be VOTING and ongoing organization and activism to demand changes to specific policies, programs and laws.

Why is the BLM ‘Fire’ Likely to Die Out?

A Lack of Consensus

The Occupy Movement was able to be crushed by the government for one reason: the occupiers lacked any clearly stated goal. Yes, they all wanted the corporations and the Wall Street gamblers who’d created the 2008 crisis to be held accountable, but they had no single voice to communicate that goal, no coherent steps they wanted to see followed, and no political (voting) power to push their progressive agenda forward.

The Tea Party lacked a clear, singular goal (the usual Conservative laundry list: less taxes, smaller government, immigration control, no black President, etc.), but had major political sway in red states. Yet, despite early success in garnering attention from Republican politicians, by 2016 Politico had declared the movement dead (and indeed the demographic who had initiated it, partly in response to being incensed by the young, diverse, urban, Progressive Occupiers, were older, white, rural and Conservative and have been literally dying off — Trump is their ‘last hurrah’).

To Succeed, Any Progressive Movement Needs:

1. Consensus on a simple, singular goal (a voice),

2. Clear steps to achieve that goal (a strategic plan),

3. The political power to make the steps happen (voter influence).

Without a clear understanding, among the majority, of exactly what the issues are that are causing inequality in American and around the world, we cannot solve complex problems like systemic inequality. A HUGE barrier to doing so is that the vast majority of our human population are not endowed with the ability to assimilate all of the information necessary to address the challenges, much less the ability to understand the roots and inter-connectivity of complex issues and then generate creative, effective solutions.

The majority can raise their voices in protest, but cannot offer up meaningful and effective solutions to the underlying causes of inequality without the leadership of some much more clever-than-average leaders. The solution the mass of protestors are currently offering up, as best I can parse it, is "White people are racist! They have more money than blacks and browns do and they should give a bunch of it to us!" Certainly the rich are currently enjoying ever-less taxation and staggering wealth-hoarding, and that hoarded cash will eventually go a long way to funding the steps necessary to fix the underlying problems (simply starting with making all public schools across America of equally high quality), but cash hand outs that get frittered away will not solve anything long-term. The only way to redistribute wealth that has ever proven effective is the system that the Nordic countries have had in place for many decades: Democratic Social Capitalism.

Taking action against injustice, against the unfairness of inequality, is not only essential to improving the human condition, it is the 'right thing' to do for the majority of us who feel morality in a tangible way, who 'sense' the weight of it in our lives. I was reminded of this in re-listening to Sam Harris and Richard Dawkins discussing the scientific basis of human morality on YouTube. Morality is not simply a concept to be embraced or debated, it is a product of our unique human consciousness and a foundational building block for human civilization. Without our hardwired morality (religion is a just a software manipulation of that hardwiring) there would be no cooperation, no civility, no society for us to live productively and peacefully within.

Of Course Conservatives Resist Change, But Progressives Are Our Future

We hate change, especially in the short-term. Some of us much more than others (they’re called Conservatives). Like our innate tribalism, Conservatism is is an integral part of the human condition. It cautions us to NOT 'fix what isn't broken' and thus helps us to survive to live another day. (I'm always speaking from the point of view of most of our species' existence: the 7,000,000 years we survived since our split from our common ancestor with the chimps, not the 0.1% that we have lived in cities -- what I call our 7,000 year-old 'New Normal.' The circumstances we live in today are most certainly NOT what our species evolved to thrive in most naturally.)

An illustration of the early roots of human Conservatism: if it had always proven wise to have one tribe member stay up all night to maintain a fire burning at the cave entrance to dissuade sabre-toothed tigers and cave bears from coming in to snack on us, experimenting instead with hanging a bunch of dry sticks on a length of cat gut to rattle together to wake us up if an intruder entered the cave probably wasn't a wise innovation. Those individuals who were 'hardwired for Conservatism' back in the day either won out and the fire-tending tradition was maintained instead of the 'trip-wire' innovation, or there were no survivors of that tribe.

In the LONG-TERM, the Progressive innovation of the 'trip wire' helped ensure the survival of the tribe willing to allow the inventor to install it at the back of the cave, where a larger group from a competing tribe could sneak in through the cave system and kill the males and make off with the women and children. While Conservatives fight change (and dream of a return to the bygone fantasy of a better life in the past) in the short-term, they benefit in the long-term from progress. Grandma did NOT want to use her new iPad, at least not until she realized she could watch her grand-kids growing up from afar.

One thing is true of our 'New Normal' and that is that civilization has only flourished over time due to progress. Time and again civilizations of humankind grew and prospered only on the back of Progressivism: innovation that improved the lot of the majority through mutual cooperation. It is only through Progressivism that our cities can grow ever larger, that our ability to feed a human population that is on course to destroy the planet by its ever-increasing volume, is possible. Only by making constant progress can we figure out how to live in peace, rather than tearing each others' throats out due to our hardwiring for irrational tribalism.

In other words, it is only through Progressivism, NOT Conservatism, that humanity can survive in our 'New Normal.'

Let’s Help Make Black Lives Matter MATTER!

10 Things America Needs to Do

We all, deep down, know what the situation is. Despite the abolition of slavery, the door was left open for those who opposed the movement to come up with innumerable subtle and manipulative ways to continue to benefit from the nearly free labour of black Americans, especially the men, by incarcerating them for a myriad of trivial, double-standard reasons and making the length of those imprisonments arbitrarily long. This was taken up another notch by making the prison system for-profit, incentivizing those at the top to increase the volume of imprisonment by increasing the number of crimes related to being poor in the first place (the War on Drugs').

Another intangible barrier to upward mobility was cemented into place by funding public schools from property taxes, thus ensuring that anyone living in poor areas would grow up within a very effective 'Poverty Trap' that would keep poor kids from getting a sufficiently high quality of education that they would graduate 'at parity' with kids from wealthier areas. The ceiling to attaining wealth was raised further by well-meaning, but disastrous 'social welfare for single mothers' programs which have seen young black males who don't have fathers at home being manipulated by criminals in their neighbourhoods to join in and ultimately become incarcerated in their tens of thousands across America. Felony conviction laws then make it nearly impossible for those who emerge from prison to land meaningful work, pushing them back into crime and prison (and working inside, essentially, as slaves for profit-making corporations owned by the rich).

So are there multi-layered issues for us to work through to solve the problem of inequality in America and around the world? Certainly, but it is time to stop blaming 'those not of our tribe' for our tribes' problems (whether your tribe is political, cultural, or colour-based) and get busy doing the effective things that will lead to real change:

1. Stop protesting in the streets! (It really doesn't make much PRACTICAL change happen other than satisfying our inherent love of chanting and marching together in large crowd while patting ourselves on the back and reveling in self-righteous moral outrage.) Put that same energy and investment of time into non-stop emailing, phoning and letter- writing to your Congressional and Senate representatives. They fear losing their seats and they'll listen to well-reasoned arguments and straightforward solutions that will have real impact if the messages come in large quantities.

2. Organize well-reasoned, fact-based (leave the tribal emotions outside) meetings in your living rooms and town halls to come up with REAL, actionable, effective solutions to chip away at the underlying causes, like providing financial incentives like a Universal Basic Income (UBI) to fathers/stepfathers who stick around to parent kids in poor neighbourhoods.

3. DO YOUR HOMEWORK! Educate yourself about the real causes of Systemic Racism and what can be done to change things, or at least allow those leaders among you who can explain the REAL causes (not simply manipulate your emotions to gain power for themselves) to lead (think: The Squad, Tulsi Gabbard and Bernie).

4. Get back to acknowledging and respecting high 'Fluid IQ,' merit-based advancement (equal opportunity, NOT equal outcome), higher education and respect for science and data, as demonstrated by John McCain, deGrasse Tyson, Sowell, AOC, the Obamas, Pelosi and many more on both sides of the debate, but don't accept any 'notions' or 'opinions' about policies that have no historical proof of having worked effectively (Democratic Social Capitalism has been WINNING in the Nordic countries for decades).

5. Fund the Police! Ensure that more funding is going to individual police salaries, rather than hiring more police officers so that really smart people begin taking on the jobs, rather than the 'bad apples' who can't find higher paying jobs and end up hired by desperate municipalities.

6. Increase social support! If there's funding to be found by cutting money ear-marked for the police to buy more military equipment, great, but America has a bottomless pit of funding for anything its citizens really need, its called The Federal Reserve. They just push buttons to create zero interest money to bail out billionaires, corporations and the profit-making of the Military-Industrial Complex. They can do the same for infrastructure and out-of-work Americans if the Houses approve it. Just say no to "PAYGO" — after all, it never applies to bail-outs!

7. Push for an end to property tax funding of public education. All schooling in America needs to be federally funded at the same level everywhere and all teachers need to get paid the same, substantial wage to encourage the really smart people to take on the jobs. In areas where it's clear that kids are chronically under-performing, change the system: bring in tutorial programs that target the most challenged kids, do more field trips and outdoor teaching the way they do in Finland, end the ancient standardized testing and customize programs for each type of kid.

8. End "The War on Drugs"! Addiction is a deep and insidious problem for human brains. It is a disease, not a 'lifestyle choice,' whether the addiction is to food, gambling, sun-tanning, or drugs. Marijuana is legal in Europe and Canada because it is just like alcohol -- a tax-collecting BONANZA! (And then pardon every single criminal conviction based upon the old laws.)

9. Get out and vote! and work tirelessly to convince your family, friends, neighbours and every young person you come into contact with to vote too! Trump won simply because less people voted, and suppressing the vote is the GOP's go-to strategy moving forward.

10. Lastly, end "Citizens United." That single corruption by the Supreme Court effectively ended the "American Democratic Experiment" by using common human greed to corrupt every single politician on both sides of America's single-party/two-colours, Neo-liberal system. No founder of America ever would have bastardized the Constitution by claiming that a profit-making corporation should be treated as a human citizen of the United States of America. Most politicians are now trapped by their common greed within the corporate lobbying cash hand-out system to both fund their campaigns and line their pockets.

***

I have been blogging and vlogging about insights into why we humans do the so-often counter- productive things we do, and how we can turn things around to live our lives to the fullest (the real meaning of life!) for over a decade. Check out more thoughts and insights at:

• JustOneCynicsOpinion.Blogspot.com

• YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfi00q5yaQ0nK8wXkEbvk3Q/

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[hookedontaronfics]

Honky Dancer series - Chapter 2

Chapter title: Contracts and options Read the previous installment here: Chapter 1 Rating: M Pairing: Taron x OC Warnings: Slight cursing A/N: I hope you love the drama in this chapter as much as I loved writing it! More mature themes will develop, so be warned! Enjoy! X

My alarm went off far too early because I had spent most of the night tossing and turning with both nerves and excitement over my audition. I felt I had done well and made an impression; I knew I had worked my butt off, not only during the audition itself but also just to get there in the first place. I was tired enough to stop at Notes Coffee Roasters and pick up an iced latte, figuring I could spare the calories, on my way to my 6 a.m. aerobics class. I truly loved teaching but if there was one class I would gladly give up it would be aerobics; who in their right mind wanted to get up before the sun did just to sweat for 45 minutes? I was never awake enough for the cheeriness of my suburban football-mom students.

I’m pretty sure I sipped half of my latte down in one pull and groaned against the subsequent brain freeze as I opened up the studio. It took everything in me to summon up the energy to get through aerobics without shouting my instructions in a bitchy manner, and I was positively exhausted by the time I made it through conditioning, beginning basics, intermediate amateur, and one of my personal favorites, toddler tap. I mean, there was very little actual tapping going on, but the students always made up for it in the cuteness factor.

I eagerly checked my phone when I went on break but I hadn’t received the call I’d been hoping for. Mads and I quickly walked to our favorite lunch hideout, a place called Hemsley + Hemsley inside the Selfridges. I ordered my go-to cold-pressed green juice and we decided to share the orange-blossom-infused yogurt and honey-filled chestnut crepe.

“Any news?” Madison asked me as we tucked into our food and juices.

“Not yet. It’s killing me,” I admitted.

“So tell me, how did it go? You’ve got to fill me in!” she grinned. I told her all about the process and how I’d made some friends and hoped we all got in together before she asked me point blank if I’d run into anyone famous while at Paramount. My face flushed but before I could tell her about Taron my phone rang.

“It’s them!” I hissed at Mads in excitement, before picking up the call. “Hello?” I said, probably sounding way too eager.

“Hello love,” an incredibly familiar voice said on the other end, and I fairly choked on my pressed juice.

“Hi, hey,” I said, trying to recover. “Um … What do I owe this pleasure?” I asked awkwardly, and Taron just chuckled on the other end.

“I wanted to personally deliver the news myself that you’ve been selected as one of our dancers. So congratulations, love. I hope you’re very pleased, as I am,” he said with a grin in his voice.

Holy shit, I mouthed to Mads as she squealed in her seat, unaware of who exactly I was talking to.

“I ...yes, of course I’m incredibly excited,” I laughed after I managed to recover my composure. “I just wouldn’t have expected Paramount to make you their errand boy,” I teased. Mads gave me a funny look, desperate to know what was happening.

This earned a hearty laugh from Taron on the other end. “I asked to deliver the news personally,” he grinned. “You are, after all, my favorite dancer.”

“That’s entirely too kind of you to say,” I said, taken aback.

“Well I did sit through 40 solos just for the privilege to watch you dance so I feel I have a right to make that assessment,” he said lightly.

“Oh my God, I don’t deserve for you to think that,” I replied.

“Well, we’ll see about that, won’t we?” he said gently before clearing his throat. “So you can stop by the studios at your convenience today to fill out the contract and hopefully that will be amenable.”

“Good, of course,” I said, shaking my head. “I’ll be there as soon as I’m done with work.”

“Perfect. See you then,” he said nonchalantly. I wasn’t sure whether he actually meant that or it was just a standard thing to have said, but we took our good-byes and I sat there in dumbfounded silence until Mads couldn’t take it anymore.

“What is all of this?” she asked, making a circular motion in the air around my face, which was probably as red as a robin’s breast.

“I was getting to that part,” I laughed, hiding my face behind my hands for a second. “I ran into the film’s lead, Taron, when I was at auditions yesterday. Well, he actually opened a door into me, and I fell and it was spectacularly embarrassing,” I admitted with a laugh. “But somehow that possessed him to watch us all dance… Out of pity? I don’t know,” I shrugged as the incredulous look just grew on Madison’s face the more I rambled. “So anyway, he just called me to tell me I was cast as a dancer so... I’m in!” I squealed at that.

“Taron didn’t watch your ass dance out of sympathy, are you crazy?” Madison giggled. “He’s probably fancying you,” she said with a smirk, and I shook my head.

“No no no, we’re not even going there. Me, dancer. Him, actor. That’s like different species and different species don’t mix,” I laughed, as Madison threw an orange slice at me.

“You are so daft!” she laughed. “How can you not see when a boy likes you? You with your gorgeous strawberry-blonde locks and blue eyes and freckles. It’s disgusting, really. I just look like the boring brown blah ugly duckling next to you,” she said a bit wistfully, chin in her hand.

“Oh come on, Mads, you’re gorgeous. And it’s not like I exactly know how to pick ’em, considering Zayn and all,” I sighed, referring to my ex.

“Yes well, the world isn’t full of Zayns. He’s extra special,” she said, stabbing a bit of crepe with extra gusto and poking it in her mouth.

“If by extra special you mean extra wanker, then yeah,” I said, shaking my head as we both just giggled.

“Well I’m sure Taron’s not like that at all,” she said. “It’s not like I haven’t watched every YouTube interview out there,” she said with a touch of sarcasm. “He seems incredibly sweet to people,” she pointed out. Leave it to my best friend to be obsessed with him; I had tried my hardest to convince her to audition with me but she said her skills outside of ballet were rusty at best and she would be just be embarrassing herself. I appreciated her teasing me about it though; I couldn’t deny Taron was handsome, though I didn’t exactly download every picture to my phone.

“He’s very nice, I can already tell that. And maybe he even thinks I’m pretty, sure. But we’re only co-cast members, you know, and I’ll just be in the background. He’s really the star. Besides, he doesn’t even know me. Not like we had a chat or anything. He had to call me by my bib number first, after all,” I laughed.

“Just never say never, Juliette. Life can surprise you,” Madison grinned at me. But I had already had plenty of surprises in my life, and I was ready to be done with that. We finished our lunch and made it back for afternoon classes; thankfully I only had two more to get through before I could head over to Paramount. I was absolutely knackered by the time I packed up my dance bag and pulled sweats on over my leotard and tights. I waved to Madison as I passed her classroom and she gave me a thumbs up before I headed to the tube station, responding to a few texts from my ex and feeling once again annoyed at his lack of responsibility. You see, I had to stay in contact with him because we both had one shared thing in common: A certain precocious 7-year-old daughter named Clara.

<You promised me you’d be able to watch her while I’m in rehearsals. I really need you to step up. This isn’t negotiable and mummy can’t watch her all the time either.> I texted back, sighing slightly to myself.

I knew relying on Zayn had been a bad idea to begin with, as he’d never proven himself mature enough to handle being a father in any regular capacity. He’d do well for a couple months and then fall off the map again, drinking and losing his job and couch-surfing with friends. But for Clara to not know her father had made me feel like a terrible person, so every time he came around promising that he’d cleaned up I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I hardly knew what it was to not be disappointed in a man any more.

<I know, and I will. It’s just for tonight, Letty, we have these tickets…>

<Yeah and those excuses don’t cut it, Zayn. It’s always excuses. Your daughter is more important than some show. She needs a father so I can stop explaining at school why this completely bright student has behavioral issues. But you would know that if you were involved.> I rubbed my temple, annoyed and too exhausted to have this fight all over again.

<You’re absolutely right, actually. I’ll cancel the plans and try to sell the tickets. Sorry to bother you.> He texted back, and I groaned slightly. Of course now I felt like the asshole, and it wasn’t like I didn’t enjoy time with my daughter.

<I appreciate the offer, I do. But you should go. Just drop Clara off with my mum and I’ll get her on my way home. But I need you to pick her up first thing in the morning for school and don’t be late this time.>

<You’re an absolute saint, Letty> He sent back, making me cringe at the pet name he had given me that now left a bad taste in my mouth. I sighed and texted my mum a head’s up about the change in plans, grateful for everything she had done for me and Clara over the years. I don’t know what I would have done without her help, to be sure. Being a single mum had proven incredibly challenging and I wasn’t sure how I would have been able to afford child care and rent on my meager paychecks. I probably would have had to give up dance but my mum knew how important that dream had always been for me. I had more stability now then when I was performing, but that didn’t mean the challenge to give Clara a stable life didn’t remain.

I was lost in thought by the time I arrived at Paramount, but I tried to put all of that aside so I could focus on the task at hand. I’d also received a steady stream of excited texts from Leah, Pietre, Dennis and Markus; all five of us had made it onto the cast and it felt like a bit of a celebration. I wasn’t exactly sure where I was going but helpful signs had been posted about on the walls, so I followed the giant black arrows through the maze of halls until I arrived at a lobby, where a couple other dancers were sat waiting.

“Juliette!” someone called my name. I spied Markus against the wall, waving at me and I happily jogged over to sit next to him as he moved his bag out of the way. “I saved you a seat,” he said, flashing me a grin of exceptionally perfect, white teeth. While we chatted about our mutual love of ballet and our tragic falls from grace [Markus, too, had experienced a career-ending injury] as principals, I noticed up-close that his eyes were a lovely shade of pale grey. I’d never quite seen eyes like that before, and I couldn’t help feeling a bit mesmerized by both his gaze and his instant charm. It was nice to feel like someone was on my level and could understand what I’d fought through to get here. Other dancers came and went, and when Markus was finally called back to the office I texted Madison furiously about him, unashamedly giggly about it.

<Does someone have a bit of a crush or what?> Madison teased me lightly.

<You don’t get it, he’s rather dishy and so charming and suave. And he gets me.> I wrote back.

<Yeah and what about Taron?> Mads asked.

<What about him? He’s nice to me, nothing more.>

<Yeah sure. But don’t give me any more of that “He’s an actor and would NEVER notice a dancer like me” bullshit because I’m not buying it.>

<Besides, if Taron’s here I haven’t seen him. And what am I supposed to do anyway, hang them up next to each other side-by-side and compare their traits?>

<Just don’t be blind to what could be good for you, that’s all.>

<AND Clara. Don’t forget, this is a packaged deal.> I wrote back, smiling as my mum sent me a sweet Snapchat of my daughter playing piano. She finished the song and, beaming into the camera, smiled, waved and announced that she was going to be as good as Elton some day, which made me laugh softly. I’m glad my mum and I had passed down our impeccable taste in music already to my daughter; it was so much better than the trash punk her father listened to.

I happened to look up just then and saw Taron leaning into the lobby from the doorway, clearly searching for someone, and his face brightened as soon as he spotted me. He strode in and despite the obvious gasps of recognition from the other dancers there, he beelined straight for me. I was both flattered and embarrassed about that fact, all too aware of the jealous expressions tossed my way.

“You made it!” Taron grinned at me, as if he’d been worried I would have decided against this whole thing.

“Of course,” I laughed, adjusting in my seat at the same time he surprised me with a hug so I nearly knocked my head into his teeth. “Shit, sorry,” I apologized but he must have found my awkwardness amusing because he laughed and shrugged it off.

“Continuing that klutzy streak I see?” he teased, raising a characteristic eyebrow at me.

“Always,” I said with a laugh. “Truly don’t know how I stay employed at the dance studio, to be honest,” I continued the rolling joke.

“Oh, do you teach?” he asked, earnestly curious in me.

“Yeah, mostly young kids,” I smiled at that. “I really do love it, getting to inspire the next generation of dancers.”

“I can see that,” he studied me for a moment, and I had to look away from the intensity of his green eyes. “You always seem so passionate about it, I can’t imagine that not translating to every area of your life.”

I was about to respond but just then Markus returned and somehow seemed to have a double-take when he noticed Taron sitting in his vacated seat next to me. He came over to me and, right in front of Taron, told me he looked forward to dancing alongside me and then point-blank asked me if I wanted to get drinks with him some time. I felt absolutely flustered at his offer and managed to stammer out a ‘yes, sure, love to’ before Markus leaned over and kissed me on the cheek.

“Cheerio,” he smiled to me, flicking the tip of my nose lightly before sweeping out of the room.

“Well that was a production, wasn’t it,” Taron remarked, the buzz of something low in his voice.

“Mmm, dancers are dramatic,” I tried to laugh, but Taron was no longer smiling.

“Tell me about it, love, I’m an actor. I get being dramatic but that was something else,” he replied, giving me a slight chill down my back, but I had absolutely no time to react because my name was called then.

“I should … get in there,” I said softly, as Taron rearranged his expression and put a smile on his face. If I hadn’t been so focused on him I might have lost the nuance of that.

“Of course you should,” he replied with a nod. I got up and walked into the office, Taron’s steely gaze following after me. I did my best to focus on the contract terms and everything that would be required of me as I signed form after nondisclosure form, but something had just happened back there that I was having trouble deciphering. I figured I should probably run it by Mads because she seemed to have a knack for understanding people. I was still distracted by the time I finished the paperwork and was handed a stack of information and rehearsal schedules, and so when I exited the lobby and turned the corner I ran straight into Taron, managing to drop my stack of papers all over the hallway floor.

“Jesus Churchill Jones, what are you doing here?” I asked in surprise, as Taron crouched down and picked up my papers for me.

“I thought I’d walk you out, if that was alright?” he asked. “I know you were weirded out earlier and I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“I’m fine, if a little miffed,” I shrugged as we started walking back through the labyrinth of halls toward the exit, Taron still carrying my papers. I realized that I was just inherently trusting Taron to lead the way, figuring he already knew the place like the back of his hand.

“It just seemed a bit possessive to me, the way that dancer acted toward you,” Taron tried to explain.

“Possessive? How?” I laughed lightly at that. “Markus and I got on quite well before you showed up.”

“But that’s exactly it. He shouldn’t have felt threatened by me at all. I’ve just seen it before,” he said, his eyes trained on the floor. But then he reached out for my hand and stopped me, turning me to face him. “I’m saying this completely as a friend, just be careful with him.” There was something so deeply vulnerable in the way that Taron was looking at me that I felt I had to take what he said seriously. I couldn’t detect any ulterior motives there, so I filed the warning away in my mind and half-wondered if Taron could sense my weakness for men who seemed so polished on the outside but could secretly be snakes.

“I’ll be careful,” I said, as much to make Taron feel better as to remind myself. We continued walking, as I asked how things were going with him. He filled me in on everything he had to accomplish as filming neared, learning the piano, working new arrangements of the music, and all of the pre-production work that had to happen. It really kind of amazed me how dedicated he was to the project, and even more so how highly he spoke of Elton himself.

“Well, I should stop boring you,” Taron chuckled as we arrived at the exit doors, but I shook my head.

“You’re absolutely not a bore. I’m sure I could listen to you talk about it for hours on end,” I smiled genuinely at that.

“If we both weren’t so busy, maybe I’d ask a certain dancer to have dinner with me some time so then I could truly bore her for hours,” he said with a wink, his demeanor completely changed from earlier. He was at once adorably flirtatious with me, and I couldn’t help but swoon slightly.

“Maybe she might just say she’d love to,” I grinned back. He fished a pen out of his pocket and scrawled his phone number across the top of the stack of papers before handing them to me.

“We’ll plan it… eventually,” he grinned before giving me the “call me” gesture and making me laugh.

I took my leave, Taron holding the door for me as the perfect gentleman he was and waving to me long after I’d hurried down the street. I felt my heart warring inside of me a bit, and I had no idea what I was supposed to think. With these thoughts burning into my soul, I took the train across London to pick up my sweet daughter. At least I still had that to look forward to, I thought as I made sure to transfer Taron’s number into my phone before I forgot or misplaced it.

<Hey, it’s me, your favorite dancer!> I sent a quick text, just so he had my number as well and definitely not expecting the immediate reply I got back.

<And saved. If you send me a pic I’ll add it to your profile.> My stomach suddenly lit on fire with nerves at that, for no bloody reason at all. I had all of my contacts with photos, so it only made sense that Taron might as well. There was nothing out of the ordinary about the request but the idea of sending him my face made me feel some kind of way. I swiped through my pictures, most of them stupid selfies, but I finally decided on the professional headshot I’d had taken for the audition. I felt it showed the best of me, and I looked half-decent enough, dare I say pretty. The photographer had at least had the sense to focus on one of my best features; my blue eyes stood out like sapphires.

Taron immediately sent me back one of his own, a decidedly more personal shot but he looked gorgeous none-the-less. I attached the photo to his profile and then stashed my phone for a moment, needing to focus on my daughter as I hopped off the train at my stop and dashed for my mum’s house. I let myself in and found them in the kitchen, my daughter drawing a picture that she immediately abandoned as soon as she saw me.

“Mummy’s here!” she squealed, running into my waiting arms and hugging me tightly. “I missed you so much!”

“I missed you too, my darling,” I said, running my fingers through her tangled bright red curls; where she got that color was beyond me, but I loved it. “How was school?” I asked.

“A bit of a bore, really. Teacher says I’m too smart for my class,” she added importantly.

“Hmm, well, hopefully you didn’t sass her too much,” I sighed, giving my mum a knowing glance.

“I didn’t!” she said, putting her little hands on her hips.

“I’ll have to have a talk with your school when I can fit it in about moving you a grade, but otherwise I guess you’ll just have to pretend to not be bored, Clara-bean,” I said with a laugh. “Don’t want all the other students to think you’re a know-it-all.”

“They already think that, mum,” she said dramatically, to which my mum shook her head.

“Perhaps you ought to put her in the performing arts academy instead,” she pointed out as I bit my thumb in thought.

“You’ve got a fair point, mum,” I smiled. “Thanks for watching her, again. I’d say I owe you but at this point the debt is quite unpayable.”

“Oh hush now, Juliette. I will never turn down time with my grand,” she said, giving Clara a hug and helping her clean up her mess on the kitchen table while I took a chance to use the toilet.

<Mads… I’ve got to phone you as soon as I get Clara down to sleep tonight!> I fired off a quick text.

<Oohh did something happen?> she asked immediately.

<You could say that. Things have got a fair bit confusing.> She sent back a couple emojis and question marks and I sighed. <It’s too long to type out. Just have your phone on you.>

<Forget phoning me, I’ll bring the wine. 8:30 okay?>

<God I love you. See you then.> I finished my business in the toilet and made sure my daughter had all of her things before we took the tube back to our home. I made dinner, we took Troy out for his evening walk, and soon I was getting my daughter bathed and brushed and ready for bed. I read her a small story and tucked her in, kissing her forehead sweetly as she hugged her plushie unicorn to her. I couldn’t help wishing that I wasn’t the only one bidding her sweet dreams and turning off the light; what I wouldn’t give to have a man in the picture who wanted to be there for us both. But that felt as much a fantasy as the unicorns I’d just finished reading about.

I checked my phone and had a couple missed texts from Markus, just sweet messages making sure I’d made it in for the night. I texted back in affirmation and wondered if Taron had totally missed the mark; I hadn’t gotten any weird vibe from Markus until I ended up between them both.

I had just gotten the dishes cleaned up and put away when Mads rang. I popped open the door and let her in; she was carrying three bottles of wine, which made me laugh. There was no way we were going to drink that much; we both had early classes to teach in the morning. Still, I retrieved a bottle opener and glasses and we popped each of them open, having a sip and agreeing that the moscato was the best option.

“So tell me!” she said, sitting cross-legged on the couch and sipping her wine as I did my best to retell the whole scenario, her eyes growing wide and then wider after I told her I now had Taron’s number too.

“They had a mental cockfight over you,” Madison giggled over her glass of wine.

“What? You’re insane, no. No… right?” I said. “No…that’s crazy,” I added for good measure. 

“To be fair, it sounds like this Markus started it,” she smirked. “But Taron totally dished.”

“Ugh, English please,” I sighed.

“They both like you and tried to outdo each other,” she rolled her eyes. “I can practically see the puffed-up chests now.”

“Stop,” I laughed, throwing a cork at her and making her squeal. “That is not how it went down. Taron was trying to warn me, as a friend.”

“As a future person who wants to get in your pants,” she smirked, waggling her eyebrows at me.

“Mads, you’re making me mental!” I said, tossing the rest of my wine back and nearly choking as the liquor hit my throat. “It wasn’t like that with him. You didn’t see the way he was trying to look out for me.”

“In all seriousness, babes, I think you should really consider your options here.”

“My options. You say that like I have them, like I could just choose,” I said with a huff.

“Well they both asked you out, didn’t they?” she grinned, not remotely fazed by my tone. “See who impresses you more. That’s what I would do.”

“Date two guys at once?” I laughed, shaking my head. “Isn’t that a bit scandalous? I don’t wish to shame my mum.”

“It’s only dating if you call it that,” she smirked lightly.

“Oh Mads, you’re devious, aren’t you,” I said, shaking my head.

“Just live a little, Juliette. You’ve been banging on about how awful Zayn is for 6 years now. You might as well try and move on.” I couldn’t deny that she had a point there. Maybe the distraction would be a good thing.

“And what about Clara?” I asked softly. “I have to consider her.”

“She will be fine. Kids are resilient and adaptable, far more than we are. And as far as Markus or Taron are concerned, cross that bridge when it comes, you know? Just start from the beginning. Go to drinks, go to dinner. Have some fun. The good Queen herself knows you need it.”

We talked and drank some more, far more than we should have, and Madison ended up crashing on my couch because she was too wine-sick to get herself home. But I truly didn’t mind; it wasn’t our first and wouldn’t be our last late-night chat, and Clara considered her an auntie. I gently pulled a blanket around her snoozing form and made sure she was comfortable before shutting the lights off, a small headache beginning to throb. I got myself ready and changed into jammies before crawling in under the covers, bumping my phone slightly and causing the screen to illuminate. I had a text from Taron waiting, his face smiling out at me. I quickly opened it, my heart beating a tiny bit faster as I tried to focus my drunken, exhausted eyes enough to read the text.

<Get ready to dance, love. It’s going to be a wild ride. Sweet dreams.>

“Holy. Shit,” I breathed out loud, closing my eyes and totally unable to process what he meant. But oh, was I thrilled. A part of me felt more alive and excited than I had in probably ten years, when boys still meant adventure and romance and sex and love and sunsets on the beach and drinking too much and making out in the backseat and all of those magical things I felt I had given up on. To feel that breathless anticipation again made my world shift on its axis. The problem, of course, was that I wasn’t exactly sure who had caused that shift.

Find out who Juliette might choose in Chapter 3 Here!