#and getting yourself stuck in a position where either you have to make a choice to end things or move them forward or the universe will
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butch--dean · 2 years ago
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I'm working on getting back into the groove of drawing again for the first time in? 5 years? and all my brain wants me to do is. spn fanart but as cards from the rider waite tarot deck. all I can think is cas as the hanged man but god I am way too out of practice to render the trench coat upside down
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gatorbites-imagines · 1 month ago
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micheal meyers fic if you still write for him? 🎃
I rlly liked your other fics with him, not a big fan of him being characterized as overly affectionate so I rlly liked your kinktober fics about him
something in a similar vein to that? smut or no smut is chill, just him being infatuated in his own creepy way
Michael Myers x male reader
Headcanons
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Im happy you like my stuff :3c ive never imagined he was overly affectionate either, it just didn’t feel like it fit his character very much, ya know? No hate to the people who write that, I just like imagining him as a creepy guy, standing there… menacingly…
I think the only way you two could have met where you made a lasting impression is if you were somehow at the same asylum as him. Be it as a doctor or a patient. But I’ve never read a fic where the reader was one of the doctors, so that’s what we’re gonna go with here.
Joining up at smith’s grove sanitarium hadn’t been your first choice, since it was known as a pretty run-down place, that treated their patients more as prisoners than people. It may have been a place for the worst of the worst, but they were still people in your eyes.
You get Michaels attention by somehow wrenching his care from Dr Loomis’s hands, using all kinds of laws and loopholes to rip it from him and then running for the door pretty much. To you, what Loomis did should get him placed in jail and his license removed, as it could only have made his patients states worse.
Building a relationship with Michael is what many would call impossible. But you believed that every person had something special that fueled them, and just being treated like a worthwhile human being always seemed to do the trick.
It took months, if not years for you to really worm your way into Michael’s heart, or whatever was left of it. He hadn’t really had many positive male people in his life, something you also blamed Dr Loomis for, but over time he grew closer to you, in his own way.
To others it may seem like Michael was the same as always, but at this point you’ve worked with him so long that you know him. You can feel his attention follow you, even when you are on the other side of the yard where the patients get sunlight.
It’s no shock that you are most patients’ favorite, especially after you become head of the hospital, after a very long and stressful battle with those stuck in their old ways. It made you start cleaning house, getting rid of bad caretakers and methods to replace them with better ones.
You took it extremely seriously, and would have any so called interviewers or investigators removed from the premises, to not mess with your patients’ care.
You gain a bit of a reputation in the media at how incredibly cruel you can be to the people who wish to use and abuse your patients. Some call you crazy for protecting them, especially as everyone knows Michael Myers resides there.
But to you, it doesn’t matter. You have no spouse, no children, you haven’t talked to your family since you left home at 18, all you truly have is your job, so that is what you use your energy on.
And if a lot of that time is spent with Michael, then so be it. Having Michael actually emote or pay attention to you, is a big step in the right direction in your book. You can never get him to talk, but he does succeed in learning a couple of signs, though you suspect he only does it because he knows it makes you happy.
Later you would look back on Michael’s escape as something you blamed on yourself. Over the long time you had been his caretaker, you always made sure to be there on Halloween, since it was such an important date for him.
He never told you this, obviously, but you could tell. It just happened that you had needed surgery around that time, something you couldn’t put off as much as you wanted. If you wanted to keep caring for your patients, then you needed it done.
So, it truly shouldn’t have been such a surprise for one of your nurses to call you in a panic that Michael had somehow gotten out. Being bedbound, there wasn’t much you could do but give orders from home and watch the tv.
You didn’t technically live in Haddonfield, but you lived close enough that you could bike to town for groceries if you needed to, but also so you could drive to work without much issue.
Seeing no reports of murders outside the usual made you sigh and slump in on yourself. You had put off taking your pain medication, wanting to be clearheaded and aware, just in case you needed to be. And what else kept one clear in the head but pain.
As bedridden as you were, there wasn’t much you could do when you heard your back door open. You only knew it was that door, as it had a loud squeaky hinge you never got fixed, as it wasn’t like you used that entrance much.
Seeing Michaels looming stature shouldn’t have been a shocker either. What did amaze you to a certain, professional extent, was that he hadn’t put on his usual coveralls or mask, instead it was one you two had made together using safe materials.
There was no verbal or physical reply when you spoke to him, outside of a slight rise of tension in his shoulders when he heard you grunt in pain, as you turned to look at him.
You didn’t want to call the hospital, knowing just how volatile Michael could be. And you may have replaced many doctors and nurses, but they still feared him, all but you at least. The only thing you truly could do was speak to him, to make him stay so he didn’t go kill anyone.
Maybe it was the years of care you had given him, but Michael at some point moved closer, just staring down at you and the bandages around your stomach.
You had a feeling he wanted to poke it or maybe just unwrap it, but you had worked with him about other people’s pain tolerance. Michael still only seemed to care when it was you, but you put a lot of stuff in his notes about your professional opinion and growth.
There were worse caretakers than Michael. In all reality he wasn’t really a caretaker. A lot of it was just him standing by the door, in the corner, or right at the foot of your bed to watch you. Hed shuffle after you wherever you went in the apartment, even carrying you when you couldn’t move too much.
you had decided to heal enough to bring him back to smith’s grove when you healed enough, already knowing how violent Michael could be with other people.
To Michael though, this meant more than you meant. He wasn’t one to feel lust or much romantic attraction, but he was drawn to you and attached enough to just stay, to even bring you your pill bottles and water, like how you would to him at smith’s grove.
You theorized it made him happy, in his own way, to know he was helping in the ways he knew how. Another more paranoid part of your brain did worry about what he did when you slept, since the pain medication had that effect.
Nothing ever looked out of place, but you did catch him kneeling beside your bed on more than one occasion, just holding your hand. Or the times hed place your hand on top of his head so you would caress him.
It was inappropriate for a doctor to do such a thing with his patients, but Michael seemed calmer and more at ease when it was just you two. He couldn’t cuddle in bed with you, and neither did he seem to want to, but being held and coddle in small amounts seemingly worked for him.
Michael clearly wasn’t pleased when you took him to return to smith’s grove, but he actually came along without issue. It caused a whole media storm, but over the years you had mastered those too. As long as it helped your patients, then you would do it, to a certain extent.
And if giving Michael weekends at your place where he got to stalk you around your own property was what he needed, then so be it. you saw it as progress, in his own, weird way. Hell, Michael even started sitting and having dinner with you instead of just hovering. To you that was a win, no matter what others said.
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tiamathh · 5 months ago
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Your Next Friendship <3
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Note: it's been a while, this is a repost but I have the same audience I had like 4 years ago so bear with me, new pac being worked on love you stay hydrated stay healthy muah <33 like and rb if you can!
Do not plagiarise, reword, steal, repost my work!
✧ Masterlist
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Pile 1
Oh, this is cute, this will be a very new beginning for both parties!! There will be a lot of innocence here, it's playful and will help heal your inner child. This person may even help you feel freer, you could help them back by making them be more careful and grounded with their decisions. You may be manifesting this friendship!! It will definitely be some sort of wish fulfilment for you. They would be someone who's really accomplished and successful in whatever they do, they could have Aries or Capricorn in their chart as well. They'll teach you how to be more confident and open to accepting love and affection. Your relationship dynamic is very given and take, however you may find yourself too absorbed in this friendship at one point where you could miss out on meeting new people and making more friends, so beware of that.
Ah there's so much cheerful and extroverted energy here! The person coming in is definitely a people person, they may love socialising and something about their laugh will stand out, they could like accessorising as well. They're someone who looks towards the brighter side of life, but they may have problems with facing negative emotions, which could lead to toxic positivity to a certain extent. They may also like spoiling their loved ones with gifts, you may work on a project together as well.
Keywords: close, build, seeking answers, paying attention, curiosity, money, status, complacency, love you as a friend, anger, define, allowed, everything, dreams, smooth, why? Far away
Song: Manta Rays - Chloe Moriondo
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Pile 2
Ah, okay so this person is probably someone who is mysterious and can come off as deceptive at times. The kind of person you may think is shady or brooding, someone who could be a little more pessimistic. They could be struggling with their mental health and could get stuck in their own head quite a bit, and may have issues with feelings of inadequacy. This friendship may be more for them and less for you, it's giving karmic relationship where you'll help heal them and they'll teach you important lessons. They could be extremely wise beyond their years, but they could have trouble expressing it in a way that doesn't come off as slightly argumentative.
However, your relationship dynamic would be very sweet and promote a lot of growth for the both of you. They may teach you how to stand up for yourself more and take a more realistic approach, maybe you're someone who is more idealistic, they'll help ground you whereas you can teach them how to take it easy and not be very hard on themselves. This would be a very strong bond, they may be someone who believe actions speak louder than words and their love language could be acts of service and physical touch, they would be the kind to ensure your comfort over anything else and could remember small details about you.
Keywords: angry, forgive, camp, dirty shoes, first choice, night conversations, strangers, doubts, imagine, almonds, loneliest, accept myself, worship, passion, devotion, planning.
Song: Wish on the same sky - Monsta X
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Pile 3
Oh, this could be someone who you could meet either while travelling or online. They may be different than you in terms of your ideologies, ethnicity, country, etc. They could also be someone who has different ideologies from you and could teach you how to look at things from different perspectives especially if you're more stubborn and set in your own ways. There could be some argumentative energy here, initially there could be a bit of conflict however the both of you will bring balance into each other's lives. They may teach you how to balance your masculine and feminine energies and make them work together rather than focusing on one at a time.
This could prove to be a perfect partnership, probably a long-term friendship as well, this person will be charming and fearless, they could be someone who thinks about consequences after an action been completed, a bit impulsive but it works for them either way. You could think they're really lucky and generous, something about their hair would stand out as well, they could attract big crowds too. Your dynamic would rely a lot on words and communication, maybe you text more than call but they would be big on words of affirmation, the kind to stop you from continuing negative self-talk (if you do talk negatively about yourself).
Keywords: power, universe at play, timing, patience, repression, hunger, senses, hands, drink, forever, exploring, learning, protection, in love, believe, trying, dream girl, boring clothes.
Song: Suburban Wonderland - BETWEEN FRIENDS
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woso-dreamzzz · 11 months ago
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Struggle
Hardersson x Child!Reader
Part of The Big Adventures Universe
Summary: You try to get dressed by yourself
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There's a lot of change now that you live in England. There's no more Wolfsburg, no more German and no more Morsa through the phone. Now it's Not-Wolfsburg and English and Morsa in person.
It's a big change but you're being very brave about it all and trying to be a big girl.
Momma has been a little stressed about settling in at Not-Wolfsburg and with getting everything moved into the house. Some of the things that were meant to be shipped over have been delayed so she's a little antsy about it.
You try to be helpful like keeping your toys tidy and not complaining too much when Morsa wants to take pictures of you in her Not-Wolfsburg jersey but things are very different.
Your English is not quite as good as your other languages so Momma and Morsa exclusively speak it to you at home unless you're very tired and tearful. You're trying very hard with your English though and are learning new things every day.
You think that if you try very hard it might make Momma more relaxed so you're desperately trying to find other ways to make her relaxed too. One of the girls from training told you that big girls get dressed by themselves.
You've never done it before but Morsa calls you her big girl all the time so you must be one. Morsa always lays your clothes out the night before you wear them and tonight you stand at her side as she chooses.
"Um..." You say because you still have to speak English and you're trying to think of your words. "That!" You point at one of your plain t-shirts nestled between a Wolfsburg shirt and a Not-Wolfsburg shirt.
Momma tells you all the time now that you can't wear a Wolfsburg jersey to Not-Wolfsburg training because it's a little bit rude but you don't want to wear a Not-Wolfsburg jersey either. You kind of wish you had a red jersey because teams with red on their jerseys are always really good.
Regardless, you point at the plain t-shirt because it's the happy middle before also choosing the pair of shorts that have stars on them.
"Good choice," Morsa says before she lays them out on the little rocking chair you have in the corner for bedtime cuddles," Alright, into bed."
You hurry to get under the covers, making sure to give girl-swan and girl-moose kisses. Momma comes in as you do so. She tucks your blankets up to your chin before placing feather-light kisses to your face.
"I love you."
"Love you," You echo and Morsa takes her place.
She gives you kisses too. "I love you."
"Love you."
Momma turns on your nightlight and Momma leaves your door open a crack.
You make sure to go to sleep very quickly so the morning can come sooner and you can impress Momma and Morsa by getting dressed all by yourself.
It's still quite dark when you wake up but your nightlight is still on so you can still see and you make your way over to where your clothes are waiting.
You manage to slip your shorts on fairly easily because you only need to put your feet in the holes and pull them up like you do with your pull-ups. It's a little weird though because usually your pockets are at the back rather than the front but you've managed to do your shorts all by yourself so you don't really think a lot about how the pockets have changed positions.
It's the t-shirt that gives you trouble. First, you can't find the neckhole, trying to force your head through the arm holes twice. Next, you somehow manage to get your elbow through one of the holes but, when you realise that your actual hand hasn't gone through, you find out that you can't get your elbow back out.
You don't like this feeling and whine loudly as you try to fight it but it's just no use. You struggle uselessly against it until you're quite firmly stuck and that makes you fall onto your butt and cry.
"Okay, okay," Momma's comforting voice shushes you softly as her hands gently pushes at your elbow from the other side until it pops out and falls limp at your side.
The t-shirt is pulled off of your head and you surge into Momma's arms. She cradles you instantly, holding you close into her warm safety as you wet her pyjama top with your tears.
You blubber half-words into her neck as her gentle hand rubs your back.
"What was that about, huh, Princesse?" Momma asks, not forcing you out of your hiding spot.
"What was what about?" Morsa pops her head into the room, taking in the way that your pyjamas lie on the floor with your t-shirt and the way that you're being held against Momma. Her eyes drift down to your shorts where she bursts out laughter. "Your shorts are on backwards."
Immediately, you burst into tears.
"Magda!" Momma hisses and you know she's serious because she's using Morsa's adult name.
Morsa looks a little apologetic when she sees your state and moves to touch you but you shy away. She frowns and extends her hand for you but you still refuse to take it.
"What happened? Huh?" Momma asks you softly.
"Bein' big girl," You cry.
"Oh, yeah?
You nod pathetically.
"And that's why you tried to get dressed all by yourself?"
You nod even more pathetically than before. You tried really hard to be a big girl but, just like your English, you're not very good at it yet. You're just a little girl and little girls don't get to get dressed by themselves.
You're a bit sullen as Momma and Morsa work together to get you dressed, head hung low as Momma swaps your shorts around the right way and Morsa gets your head through the right hole of your t-shirt.
You're a little girl today.
You wish you were a big girl.
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that-sokovian-bastard · 2 years ago
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Your Choice - Jason Todd x (f)Reader
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Words: 4116 Pairing: Jason Todd x (f)Reader Warnings: SMUT. Minors DNI! 18+ only!!!! Mean dom Jason, swearing, rope bondage, edging, orgasm denial, multiple orgasms/forced orgasms, vibrator, teasing, blindfold, nipple play (just a little), fingering (f receiving), oral (f receiving). Jason is a kinky mf. Summary: After plans for the night change, Jason has an idea to keep you awake. It ends much more evil than you first expected. Author's Note: Truly love that this is my first ever time writing smut and it’s kinky as fuck. I have all the shame in the world and none at the same time. Also they have a safe word it’s just not explicitly discussed in the fic. Anyway, if you know me irl, it’s illegal to read this fic, actually. Don’t look at me. Hope you enjoy.
Jason / Full Masterlist
Every few minutes, you wondered how you managed to end up in this situation. And just as that thought came into your mind, it was ripped away by being pulled onto the edge. Then, you'd finally calm down enough to get back to contemplating how you even agreed to this...and you were right back on the edge again.
You knew Jason had to go out for patrol. If he missed it again, one of his family members was going to show up at the apartment in worry. And you definitely didn't need anyone to show up while being with Jason. You two had plans for tonight, but he ended up getting called on patrol. You tried to convince him to tell the team no, but he said he couldn’t and that you guys would just have your fun when he returned. But you were worried you wouldn’t be able to stay up the entire time before he got back, and you wouldn’t want to wake up when he returned. So, as he got ready to leave, he told you he had an idea of how you could keep yourself awake while he was gone without any worry.
Whatever his idea was, you expected it to be fun and a little evil. He reminded you that at any point as he was setting up, you could tell him to stop, and he would drop everything, but he would be leaving for patrol eventually, and you’d be in the bedroom alone for a while. He was very clear. 
Jason told you to undress as he pulled out some rope, instructing you to lay on the bed before he got to work. Working fast to not be late to patrol, he tied your wrists to either side of the headboard and your ankles to the bottom corners of the bed. You laughed a little when he finished and looked down at you. “Uh, Jason?” You said, tugging at the ropes to test their strength. “I’m pretty sure me being stuck like this is only going to encourage me to fall asleep,” You reminded him, cocky about your position.
He smirked in response, and you knew you were in for it. “Who said I was done?” He turned and walked to the dresser against the wall where he grabbed the rope from earlier. Before you knew it, he turned back around, and you couldn’t see what he grabbed. However, you didn’t have to let your mind guess for long as he quickly put the small vibrator right below your clit. He secured it with thinner rope wrapped around your leg to make sure that none of your struggles could dislodge it, then stood back to admire you before he turned it on. 
“Pretty sure this will also make me pass out,” You tried again to be cocky.
“Why do you act like I don’t know what I’m doing?” He scoffed and turned on the vibrator to its lowest setting, causing you to gasp ever so slightly in response. “I know for a fact this won’t do anything except keep you alert and awake. But if you really think you won’t be able to focus on only it…,” Jason trailed off and grabbed one more thing from the dresser. When he came back to the side of the bed, he slipped the black blindfold over your eyes and, even though you couldn’t see it, cracked the most satisfied grin as he watched you.
He could tell you were already starting to hold back from letting your body react to the subtle vibrations. Jason didn’t say anything as he finished putting on his gear, slowly, enjoying the background noise full of your suppressed whimpers. He slipped on his jacket, pulled on his gloves, and placed the domino mask on his face. Jason set his helmet on the top of the dresser near the window he usually left out of but stood next to you once more before he left.
“I’m about to leave. This is your last chance to opt out,” He said to you, entirely serious.
It took you a second, but after a breath, you managed a quick nod. “I’m, yeah. I’m good.”
“If you say so,” He shrugged and headed back to the dresser, grabbing his helmet and slipping it on. “Oh, and darling?” Jason called as he was halfway out. You hummed in response, and he continued, “I’m leaving the window open, so I’d keep it down. See you later.” 
You couldn’t even fully blame Jason at this point. He told you what to expect. He warned you. He warned you that you’d be alone with no escape until he got home, which, while he was hoping it was a quick patrol, could’ve ended up taking much longer. But you thought you could take it. Now, a few hours later, you’re starting to wonder if you underestimated the situation.
Frankly, you had lost track of time with the amount of thoughts circling through your head. It could’ve only been an hour so far, but you’re sure that it’s been more. You didn’t know and kind of didn’t care, either, as there was nothing you could do about it. Earlier in the night, you thought that maybe Jason put in a failsafe that if you really needed out, you could pull hard enough, but nothing worked. Not that you really wanted to get out, though; you were just testing. All you could do was wait.
So, you continued to wait, hyper-aware of all the noises happening around you. You had to listen very carefully since the blindfold over your eyes blocked that sense. It was hard to differentiate what was happening inside your apartment and outside since the window was still open, and the cool breeze was hitting your bare skin just right.
The cool breeze also reminded you that you had to keep quiet. Even though you were on the third floor, if you were loud enough, someone could hear you and welcome themselves in through the open window. It would have been difficult since it isn't a direct shot to the fire escape from your window, but you also didn't need random people (or vigilantes) imagining what was going on inside your and Jason's bedroom.
Finally, you heard a creek come from the window. "Jay...Jason?" You breathily called out, hoping he was finally back. When there wasn't a response, you groaned about the wind tricking you again, which resulted in a low laugh from someone in the room. He really was trying to fuck with your mind, too, by sneaking in, it seemed.
"Don't...don't do that," You said, not entirely clear on what you didn't want him to do.
You couldn't see Jason leaning against the corner of the room, his helmet already off and arms crossed as he watched you writhe and pull at the rope around your wrists and ankles. He didn't respond to your pleas but waited for you to reach the edge again before he said anything, fully making himself known.
"Wow," He marveled at the sight in front of him. "Someone just left you tied up here, did they?" He teased. You didn't respond, you couldn't, as you rode the edge but never making it over. He waited again before continuing, this time shutting the window and making sure you heard it so you knew you could be louder. "I can't believe they would do that to you. Leaving you all by your lonesome, tired and needy," Jason said as he walked closer. He stood at the foot of the bed and watched your back arch every few seconds, trying to get anything. 
Jason was proud of himself. You hated to admit it, but he was right about this whole situation being enough to keep you awake while he was gone. 
"Come on, don't you have anything to say about the mean person who just left you here? What a crazy criminal, right?" He taunted.
Again, you didn't respond. You could barely keep track of what he was saying. Jason knew it and leaned forward to touch your thigh with his gloved hand, lightly rubbing the top of it to encourage a response.
"R-right," You breathed out, almost a gasp. "It was...it was very mean of them."
"Then you got lucky that I showed up, sweetheart," Jason said, still slowly rubbing your thigh.
You took a deep breath as you prepared to respond again. "My," You started, pausing for a second before continuing. "My hero."
Jason pulled his hand back instantly and laughed again. "Hero? Oh, no. I'm no hero," He said, walking around the side of the bed and leaning in close to your ear. "I'm much, much worse."
Heat fluttered to your chest as Jason’s words hit you, and the buzzing below intensified. You hadn’t even realized he hit the button to turn up the vibrator’s level, pulling you back to the edge of an orgasm as you arched your back off the bed again, but this time, you were stuck there. The sudden change in power pulled you right where he wanted you. It kept you where he wanted you.
You heard Jason laugh from the corner of the bed now. You knew you looked pathetic, not able to calm down and not able to find release, but you couldn’t control it anymore. Jason peeled off his gloves as he watched you struggle, pulling at your wrists as hard as possible. “You’ve made such a mess already,” He stated. “How long has your captor left you like this?”
He was pleased when you didn’t respond, knowing the power he held over you right now. With his bare hand, he touched your thigh again but moved to the inside instead of staying on top. “I asked you a question, sweetheart. How long has your captor left you like this?”
It took a moment for you to get the words out, but Jason was patient. “I don’t know,” You spit out, almost as one word.
“No idea? Well, that’s a shame,” He sighed. “If it had been a long time, I would make sure to get you that release you so desperately need. But if you don’t know, it very well can’t be that long,” He continued to let his fingers circle your inner thigh, but staying far enough away from what you wanted to continue to tease you. “I think we can have some more fun before all that.”
“No,” You managed to get out, but Jason ignored it, knowing that no didn’t mean for him to stop. He had both his hands trailing your inner thighs now, only adding to his fun and your sensitivity. You could feel the bed dip when he kneeled between your spread legs, but still not close enough to you. He finally stopped teasing your thighs, but since he was closer now, his hands went up your body to your waist, your ribs, and your breasts. He circled all over your bare skin, some areas warm with need, some still cool from the late-night breeze. Of course, Jason knew how long you were like this, and even though it was longer than he was originally planning, he was going to make you wait just a little longer for having such doubt in him earlier when he was setting you up. He leaned forward, and you could feel both his hands dig into the bed beside your chest, and he was nearly straddling you, making sure to stay far enough away that you couldn’t feel him unless he wanted you to.
Jason leaned down to plant kisses on your neck and trailed down the center of your body, stopping just under your belly button. When he pulled back from your stomach, he realized you were still arching your back off the bed, and he couldn’t have that. You felt the hand to the right of you leave the bed, then land gently on your chest as he pushed slightly, making your back flush with the bed again. He kept his hand there, locking you down and making the vibrations much stronger as you couldn’t move anything with him holding you. 
“Jay,” You breathed out, catching his attention.
“Hmm?” He half-heartedly replied. It took you a moment to figure out what you wanted to say, so he prompted you. “Come on, use your words.”
“Please,” You begged, but you couldn’t say more than just the one word. 
So Jason decided to play dumb. “Please, what?” He posed. “That could mean a million different things, sweetheart; I need you to clarify.” 
He still had his hand holding you down as he waited for your response. As he waited, he tapped his fingers to remind you that his hand was there, and it was not moving until you said something. “Please, I need…I’m so close,” You finally managed to breathe out, begging him for any extra attention to get you over the edge.
“Need?” Jason asked. “What do you need me to do?”
He waited again, not moving, not even tapping his fingers. But he pressed the button on the vibrator again, turning it up another level to encourage you to tell him exactly what you wanted. He knew you were having a hard time with words, and he was enjoying the sight as your mouth opened and closed as you tried to find them.
“Need,” You barely managed to say. “Touch, oh my god, Jason.” 
“Touch? Baby, I’m already touching you, remember?” He tapped his fingers again, his hand still on your chest, right below your breasts. As the vibrations got more intense, you reacted harder, trying to pull your legs together for some friction and arching your back off the bed for some movement. But your legs were still secure to the corners of the bed, and Jason pushed down just a little rougher when he realized you were fighting against his hand. 
“Oh,” He dragged out as you continued reacting, pretending like he just came to a realization. “You want me to touch you somewhere else? You should have said so.”
You grunted in response, confirming what he said. “If I let go, you have to keep your back on the bed, okay?” He asked you, and you nodded to tell him you understood. “If you don’t, I’ll have to stop.”
The threat of stopping worried you because you weren’t sure how much restraint you had now, and it would only get worse when he started touching you in other places. You were hoping he’d go straight down to your pussy to give you what you wanted right away, but he wasn’t being that nice. Instead, his hand moved up from its place below your chest and onto your right breast, fiddling with it slowly. He gently massaged you, pulling strangled moans, and you worked as hard as you could to stay still. He rolled your nipple between his calloused fingers, and you thought the onslaught was over when he released your sensitive nipple and landed his hand on the bed next to your right side.
But just as you took a second to breathe, his other hand came off the bed, and he repeated his movements on your left breast. He knew he was torturing you with his slow movements, making you wait even longer for release. Jason could see you struggling to keep still and hold yourself to the bed. 
When he finished with your breasts, he decided you finally had had enough, and he’d move lower. He kept moving slowly, using one finger to track down your body as he leaned back. He brushed right over your clit, touched the vibrator for a little extra pressure, then stopped right before your entrance. He circled a few times, very slowly, enjoying the sight before him. 
You gasped as he circled. “Jason, please,” You begged, and this time, he happily obliged. He loved hearing you beg, but you’ve already given him so much that he was ready to help you. Jason watched your face as he slowly inserted two fingers, taking his time but making you feel good. You could barely focus on his fingers because you were so focused on keeping your back on the bed, and he could tell you were struggling. 
Jason reached his other hand up and laid it on your stomach, pushing down to keep you where you were so you weren’t worrying as much. You still had to focus to not move the top half of your back, but he was trying to help. Unfortunately, by him holding your stomach, it meant that he only had one hand to touch you with, and it was already preoccupied inside you. 
Jason’s fingers slowly pumped in and out of you, and he knew exactly what he was doing. He knew just one right move would send you in to your wave of orgasm, and he was having fun seeing how long he could make you hold on. You tried your hardest to keep your moans quiet, but he heard every single one of them. “Faster,” You begged through a moan, and Jason’s fingers paused.
“Are you telling me what to do?” He asked. Jason knew he was fucking with you in more ways than one, going from asking you to tell him what you wanted, to telling you to stop asking; he loved to change the rules. You hummed in response to his question, sounding like a suppressed no so that he would keep moving. “That’s what I thought.”
He started again, even slower than before, and it was killing you. “Just so you know,” Jason said as he kept moving his fingers. “Once you start, I’m not planning on letting you stop any time soon. How does that sound?” He asked, but your mind was such a blur at this point you couldn’t respond with anything besides a moan or a whimper. “So, do you want to start now or keep waiting?”
You whined again, but that didn’t satisfy Jason. “I need you to tell me. Do you want me to make you orgasm now, or do you want to wait?” He asked again, still slowly pumping his fingers. You weren’t sure how he was sitting on the bed, but you could tell he was still on his knees and probably leaned forward because you were sure you could feel his breath on your pussy. “Answer me.”
The hardest part was that you weren’t sure what you wanted. An orgasm right now sounded great, but you knew that he would keep his promise and you’d be oversensitive in seconds with as fast as he could pull them from you. But it would also be hell to wait because he knows all your tells. “If you don’t answer right now, then I’m going to pick,” He warned, which was the secret third option you knew you didn’t want, because his picking always ended with utter torture.
“N-now,” You decided in a snap, immediately not sure if that was the wisest choice.
As soon as you said it, Jason’s fingers inside you began to pick up their pace and hit nearly all the right spots. And you were right; you knew he was right in front of you, because he leaned in and over the small vibrator to immediately start sucking on your clit. The sudden change in pace and addition of his mouth made you scream, pulling at each of your secured limbs, barely able to get any movement. His other hand still held your stomach, but the top of your back and head arched off the bed in reaction. Luckily, Jason didn’t let up as he finally guided you off the edge and into a full-blown orgasm. 
It continued to rush over you, heat spreading throughout your entire body as Jason continued to suck, lick, touch, kiss, and even laugh and talk into you. You couldn’t make out any of what he was saying through your loud noises; you just knew that the vibrations of his laughter and speech were mixing with the still-on vibrator, and you knew there would be no coming down for a while. You tried to buck your hips, but everything mixed together kept your hips in place just as tight as your limbs were. The vibrator, just like it had been for the last few hours, stayed exactly where Jason tied it, and he had no intention of taking it off.
“Jason…Jason,” You called out over and over, barely having any time to breathe before you orgasmed again. “Hang on,” You said.
“I told you what was going to happen,” He said after he lifted his head from between your legs, making sure you could hear him. “This was your choice. You chose this.”
He waited to hear your response for a moment. Though he may have stopped attacking your clit, his fingers were still inside you, moving around in all directions. “Just…” You said. “I need…a second.”
“If I gave you a second, then I’d be breaking my promise of not letting you stop,” Jason said and didn’t wait anymore, his mouth right back on you, making you scream his name out again through another orgasm. As you came down a few moments later, he pulled his face back. “I’ll give you another choice. How does that sound?” He asked.
“O-okay.”
“I can either return to what I was doing, or I can move the vibrator,” He said. You waited to see if there was any clarification, but there wasn’t, and he was waiting for your answer. You knew there was a chance that he didn’t clarify because he wanted you to choose and screw yourself over, but you knew there would be no refuge if his mouth returned to your clit. Your choice was harder to decide in your mind because Jason never stopped moving his fingers in and out, in and out…
“Do you want me to choose?” He asked, pulling you back to reality.
You shook your head and yelled out your answer. “The vibrator!” You decided. “Move the…move the vibrator.”
You couldn’t see his pleased smile, and you sighed loudly in relief when Jason’s fingers exited you. You hoped that by move, he meant to get rid of it entirely, but you feared for the worst. Especially with how mean he was being tonight. As you thought about it, either answer was going to end the same way: he was going to keep you orgasming over and over.
You finally had a chance to catch up with yourself as he loosened the rope that held the vibrator on you, and it detached from your pussy. For a few seconds, you were just laying there, legs shaking in their binds. Jason loved watching your chest heave, and your legs shake as you still tried to pull at your wrists, but he couldn’t admire you for too long. Your worst fear came true as he tightened the rope again, this time leaving the vibrator sitting directly on your clit. You gasped out immediately, only groaning more when Jason pressed the button a few times to turn it on to its highest setting.
“Remember, you chose this,” He reminded you as you made your way into another orgasm. You continued to try to move your legs and hands, but still with no escape, as he made sure the ropes would never give way. You noticed when the dip in the bed between your legs let up, meaning Jason got off the bed. You weren’t sure what he was doing, but a moment later, you felt his rough hand on your chin. 
He leaned in, slowly kissing you through your moans and groans. As he pulled back, you could feel the soft smile on his face. “You’re doing so good, baby,” He said under his breath, almost breaking his character.
His hand left your chin, and you were worried he was going to leave you alone again. “Jay?” You called out.
“I’m still here. Just watching the show for a few minutes, then we’ll continue,” He said, and your eyes widened behind the blindfold.
“Con…continue?” You asked. You were certain that this was the beginning of the end of all of this. There was more he had planned?
Jason smiled again, though you couldn’t see it. “Of course. You didn’t think we were done, did you?”
“I-” You stopped when you were pushed into another orgasm caused by a mix of the vibrator and Jason’s words.
“Baby, we’re just getting started,” He said, making sure you heard it over your loud moan, excited for the rest of the night.
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vitaminseetarot · 6 months ago
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PAC: Random Messages You May Need 🌈🎆⛅
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Sup, y'all. I'm finally back for another pick a card reading. I really apologize if folks have not heard from me over the past month, I meant to get this reading (among other things) out a while ago. I have not been able to touch tarot for the past few weeks. Life has been… topsy turvy, to say the least. Heh heh. [sweating profusely]
I meant to have another game out and to have paid readings available by now--that is still part of the plan. What was meant for June will be in July. So this blog might go from 0 to 100 mph real soon, to move along with plans as intended!
I was loosely inspired by the Baker pride flag from 1978 for this group selection. These piles are pretty nondescript: each one contains a random message that may resonate with you. Pick based on whichever color of the Prism Oracle speaks to you most, and feel free to choose more than one. Take only what resonates.
Pile 1 - Strength (Red) Pile 2 - Happiness (Orange) Pile 3 - Illumination (Yellow) Pile 4 - Movement (Green) Pile 5 - Flow (Turquoise) Pile 6 - Trust (Blue) Pile 7 - Intuition (Violet) Pile 8 - Love (Pink)
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Pile 1 - Strength (Red)
10 of Swords, Insight
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You've been asked by the universe to put up with a lot, especially recently. You're reaching a finish line of a very long and brutal marathon. There have been too many times where you questioned whether or not to throw in the towel. If you have, you may also have questioned whether or not it was the correct choice. Sometimes, things don't work out, and it's better to move on. It can be difficult to hold everything up when one thing after another seems to fall apart at the seams, but either way you're being reminded of the light at the end of this long and turbulent tunnel.
Collect yourself, pick up what pieces you can. Time has shifted everything, but the essentials still stand. Gather the wisdom you have learned from this ordeal. There is still beauty to be found in the decay, glittering gems in the rough.
Maybe you don't want to get stronger. Healing may feel like a better option than grinding for difficult experience points. Give yourself the rest and repair you need. Let go of only that which is keeping you from starting again, but you don't need to throw the baby out with the bathwater. You've gained so much wisdom and strength, this trial wasn't without gain. Treasure it and begin anew.
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Pile 2 - Happiness (Orange)
2 of Swords, Clarity
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Whatever answers you seek are coming to you. Or perhaps they've already arrived; open your eyes and see for yourself. You may be wondering which path will satisfy you more. The process of reconciling this could take forever unless you lean on your gut here. This can't be decided based on intellect alone, for you could get stuck mulling it over for days. Imagining all the different possible outcomes could be taxing for your brain, so narrow it down. Eliminate the weakest links and home in on what excites you. It should feel like an "aha, yes!"
If you cannot see the answer right away, go within to the realm of imagination. Feel your way through. Visualize not just with sight but with yearning. Does the light of the sun make you feel hopeful? Does the cool rain make you feel relaxed? Would an art class expand your capacity to imagine many things, or would taking a science class?
The X mark in 2 of Swords is like a railroad crossing sign. Redirect that train of thought into brighter and more positive avenues of expression. Say "what if" as if you can't wait for something to happen. "What if I saw a shooting star tonight? What if my cute neighbor asked me out?" Let the future shine its beacon for you. It will all make sense in due time.
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Pile 3 - Illumination (Yellow)
Ace of Cups, Reconciliation
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Have you been staying up way too late trying to figure everything out? Please give yourself a brain curfew: no problem solving or saving the day after 10 pm! I'm getting that you may tend to ruminate on the same strong emotions. For some I'm getting that there is a crush here. There's inconsistent text messaging. I know it's easy to get too nervous about their reply, but try to wait until at least the next day to hear back. They may need time to formulate their words right. They may not even see your message straight away. Take it all in stride and sleep on it; if they want to reach out to you, then they eventually will.
For others in this pile, you may be going through a rough patch with another person right now and could be wondering how things will pan out. Give them time to respond, they could still be processing it. Stay on the more positive end of things with the idea that things will work themselves out. I feel like if you can manage this in a relaxed and non hurried way, the knot will untangle easily. The coffee in the Ace of Cups is very hot, so give it a chance to cool.
There is opportunity in your near future to make up for something that went awry due to a miscommunication error. You may get a chance to make up for a test, appointment, or an interview. You will receive grace for any mishaps. Remember that tomorrow won't necessarily be the same as today, so cherish both the good you have now along with the good that soon awaits you.
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Pile 4 - Movement (Green)
IX Hermit, Devotion
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Looks like things are progressing faster than you even thought they would. You may be blinking your eyes in partial disbelief: could this ball really be rolling? Indeed, thanks to your efforts, goals are being met and results are more evident by the day. You eschewed a lot of distractions to make this work, so give yourself a pat on the back for the level of commitment you put into it. Some of you in this pile may have just graduated, if so then congratulations! But try not to get too comfortable with your laurels, for you have a long road ahead of you in whatever you do next. This one completion is the start of many.
Does that thrill you? If so, wonderful! On the other hand, some of you may be feeling uncertain about continuing. You may be reviewing your options to see if this really is worth pursuing. Something that requires a lot of dedication and focus on it to the exclusion of all else… yeah, I can see how that can get tiring after a long time. There are folks who can get their Master's right after their Bachelor's, or have another child right after the first, but people can also happily move on to what feels more right for them instead.
It's okay to stop and assess your tracks if necessary. Taking time off is not the same as quitting. It's not losing motivation, it's recovering it. This is your passion and your discipline, not anyone else's. If you need to give other parts of your life more room to breathe, then do so with the confidence that your great work will wait for you.
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Pile 5 - Flow (Turquoise)
4 of Wands, Hospitality
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Have you been stuck with something for a while? There's a strong sense of a blockage that is being eroded away over time. This process can be sped up by allowing the ice to thaw a little more. "Break the ice." You may be wanting to open up and spend more quality time with other people but don't know how. Or you could be faced with meeting new people and being nervous about interacting with them. Even more so if they're roommates. A few people in this pile could be moving or have just moved. This is a chance to ease up and get to know new people.
This blockage could be a result of the past and of anxiety. The sound of a turning doorknob just jumpscared me as I typed the last sentence. You may benefit from learning about social anxiety and how to manage it. It's not an overnight job for you to fix this, though, but to just be aware of it and not allow it to get in the way of positive change in your life.
If you're struggling to figure out how to deal with meeting new people, I would suggest looking up videos or how-tos on social interaction, especially if a certain etiquette is required for an event. Learn about conversation starters and fun things you could do together like hosting a game night. Practice makes perfect, and over time the blockage will melt into the stream.
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Pile 6 - Trust (Blue)
3 of Swords, Conversion
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You have a very soft and tender outlook on life, which makes it all the more painful when reality doesn't conform to such a compassionate vision. It doesn't always try to respond to vulnerability in appropriate ways. Much of the time, this isn't from natural events as much as it stems from the ways in which people can treat one another cruelly. You've had some toxic people in your life who have put you through the wringer and attempted to squeeze every ounce of kindness they could from you. Making light of this pain to them only resulted in further deflection and antagonism on their part. The only outcome was to salvage whatever you could and pray for the best.
It is not your job to change their closed minded perspectives. They're on their own, here. Do not concern yourself with their messy inner world and lose any more of your energy. Also, do not attempt to regain what energy has been lost through bargaining either, as much as it hurts to press onward without looking back. You will recover, but you have to move on first and prioritize what you deeply care about most (you included).
There will come a time when your heart will be healed so you can see the brighter side of human connection again. All the beauty that your gentle soul is seeking is still there, shrouded by layers of protective petals that will one day bloom again and your life will truly flourish. For now, this is a time to give yourself all the comfort you can.
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Pile 7 - Intuition (Violet)
XII Hanged Man, Spring
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I get the feeling that you've been waiting quite a while for some good results to come in. This could either be from something that you started back in the spring, or are waiting to see results which may come around springtime. It is a season of flowers, so you may be waiting for this thing to blossom--that is, to be fully presentable to the public in some way. To have something to show for the time you put in. Like "hey, this is what I've been working on, this came from the seeds I planted." It could be growing in a direction unlike what you're used to, leaving you wondering how it could succeed in such unusual and burdensome conditions.
Lean on your inner guidance when it comes to the right timing. I don't believe that you're currently in a space where you need to push so hard for the best results. You can let things move at their own pace. Over tending to anything can end up in just as much trouble as neglect. There's only so much you can do before you have to let the flower do the growing and blooming for itself.
It's not always easy to sit in the place of uncertainty with the idea that doing more will provide more. But sometimes less is more. What you're creating is coming to fruition and may even turn out better than you expected. Trust in both the knowledge you've earned over time from learning lessons, as well as your natural intuition, to help you decide when it's time to take action.
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Pile 8 - Love (Pink)
7 of Swords, Gossip
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Let your heart lead the way here, not your worries over what others will think. Sure, you may end up with some people talking about you, but opportunities will keep passing by if you wait for everyone else to catch up to you. Leaning too much on everyone else's perspectives will only distort the vision you have for your own life journey. We all have unique journeys to go on, but unconditional kindness remains at the center of the Love card, the one thing that brings us together. Following life from a heart centered place may result in having others glance over and whisper, but that shouldn't distract you.
There is a rather delicate message here about dealing with friendships, colleagues, or possibly even family. You may have a tricky situation between several other people right now who have beef not with you but with each other. They may be coming to you to air their grievances and ask for advice.
If you care about both of these people, then it's best to approach this issue as diplomatically and impartially as possible and avoid feeding into the conflict. What would an enlightened mindset do in this situation? How would you want the other person to behave if they were in your shoes? Come from a place of pure compassion. They may choose to make amends or not, it's up to them. If their butting heads is bringing you down, it's always okay to step back and take a break. You are not responsible for what's going on in their heart, only your own, so protect yours well.
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This reading has not been evaluated by the FDA to diagnose, prevent, treat, or cure any disease or infection. Please ask your physician before going online.
2024, @VitaminseeTarot ™
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minh-i · 6 months ago
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Yknow, Nagi left Reo in the 2nd phase cuz he found a person that could possibly further help him evolve, and while Reo was rlly bitter about it, it was him who said that if Nagi sucked Reo would abandon him.
So this relationship that they have was never solid to begin with. Nagi had left Reo to progress further with his skills in football, and if Nagi had continued to be like how he is at the very beginning Reo would, too, possibly lose interest in Nagi because he lacks the ego/passion needed to progress further as a good football player.
Overall, if Nagi hadn't left first and continued evolving, there's a possibility that Reo would leave him first because his skills are lacking. Or that, because Reo seems like the more attached one, he'd stay with Nagi urging and helping him to get better. Which would ultimately result in both of them falling behind.
So if we're speaking realistically (even though I was sad at the 'break up scene') if Nagi didn't leave Reo then they wouldn't be where they are right now.
I know Reo and Nagi got back together eventually but they got back together as better versions of themselves. Like, if Nagi didn't leave then they wouldn't have had their own time to really evolve and would've still be stuck behind a wall while everyone else is progressing forward.
Just like a few chaps before actually, I remember reading in a chapter about Reo and Nagi failing to do well on the field (Neo league) and as much as I like Reonagi together, they would be better off without each other. Because once they're together they get heavily reliant on the other, which stops them from being able to evolve even further (if you know what I mean?)
Being an 'egoist' is literally to prioritize your own needs above the rest and to be 'selfish and arrogant'. To not care about others, and to only care about yourself and your path forward. That's why most of the 'evolving' that was happening for Reonagi was when they were separated. And the moment they got back together was when their 'evolvement' rlly came to a pause.
To be fair, Nagi never really had an interest in soccer at the start, and Reo just wanted to win the world Cup one day. Also the fact that Reo saw that Nagi was rlly good at football despite not playing it leads him to believe that Nagi is a one of a kind genius (and that if Nagi practices enough, his genius will be able to crush everyone else). Which then led him to label Nagi as his 'treasure' the genius he found and will further cultivate until they both succeed.
Nagi, on the other hand, started football because Reo offered him money and an easy life. So I think that because of this, the moment they're together again, Nagi just doesn't really have the 'urge' to continue evolving. Because when he's with Reo his easy life is practically alr guaranteed as long as he continues to play football.
Reonagi is kinda like Kaiser and Ness, the striker in question is way too reliant on their middle fielder. It's like how Kaiser and Nagi will probably only pass to one person throughout the entire game. Unlike Isagi, who even though his first option will be to pass to either Hiori or Kurona, he will still pass to the others on the team if it can make for a positive outcome.
This is all my own opinion btw, I don't know how accurate this might be but this is what I think from what I've seen with these two. Also, I'm not an Isagi glazer if anyone is coming after me for that. This is just me and my very own biased opinion.
Ps: Kaiser telling Ness to leave him made me sad, yes, but I think it was the right choice?
Anyways, for anyone who's read to then end thanks for coming to my Yap talk, I have a lot to say and no one to say it to. So I just yap on Tumblr, also, it's like 11pm here so I'm excessively yapping. Shit might not make sense cuz I didn't proof read, and I might be saying shit everyone alr knows/repeating words, but like, hear me out guys.
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taevolu · 7 months ago
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The Boss [Third Part: "Finally"] 18+
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Brief Summary: Hatred from the beginning, lust in the end. You are an obedient worker with a demanding boss. Make the wrong choice and your life will lead to complications. Will this end with benefits, love or heartbreak?
Pairing: Jungkook x Reader (ft. Jimin)
Genre: Smut
Word Count: 4481
Warnings: jkxdom, jealous/possessive, pet names (babygirl, goodgirl, sweetheart, pet), degrading/praise, hair pulling, manipulation 
Parts: One, Two, Three
“Fuck y/n, its because I want you for me, and no one else.”
“Jungkook, you know that it is going to be impossible for us to be together while working here. There will be a lot of drama and talks about the two of us.” Jungkook shakes his head, you are confused as he begins to chuckle.
“I’m not talking about dating, y/n.” he pauses, “I want your body to be mine.” He stands up, towering over your frame. 
His stare is full of lust and anger, “I see the way Jimin looks at you when you aren’t looking, y/n.” His left hand finds its way to hold onto your back, pulling you closer to him. You were frozen as if you were in some sort of trance, stuck and not knowing what to do. Where he wanted you to be.
The way he looks at me when I’m not looking? You and Jimin had never thought of each other that way, you both treated each other like siblings, fighting and being playful. Was Jimin actually growing feelings for you? He can’t be.
“I can’t let him have you, y/n.” He says with a low tone, making you nervous under his touch.
His hand begins to move down to your ass, grabbing onto you, pressing you close and feeling his throbbing cock, “So be my assistant, hmm? If you agree then nothing happens to your little friend but if you don’t, I’ll force him out.” He threatens.
“I- '' You start, but words weren’t able to come out. You had to decide to either choose to have Jimin, the only person that was able to keep you sane, to stay or be in Jungkook’s presence every time you were at work. Both choices would lead you dreading your life. Choices. Choices. Choices. These fucking choices. But Jungkook was getting impatient and needed an answer. He moves the position of his hand to your ass to slap, the sound and your cry of pain echoing in his office.
“Fucking answer me, pet.” He demands through gritted teeth.
You gulp, “I-I will be your assistant, sir.” You stutter. You had no other choice but to be his assistant because you wanted Jimin to stay. You didn't want to be the reason why he loses his job nor did you want to feel the guilt.
“That’s my good girl.” He brings up his hand to your face, caressing your cheek. His hand makes his way to your hair to pull. You yelp in pain only to hear Jungkook snicker, “If I ever find out that you are going behind my back by fucking that wimp, you will be punished, babygirl.” He releases his grip on your hair, making you step back to get out of reach.
“You are dismissed, sweetheart.” He demands, you nod in response. Fixing yourself before heading out the door. But before you leave his office, Jungkook begins to speak again, “And just know that I’m always watching you, babygirl.” Your eyebrows scrunch, irritated at his possessiveness. You gave him another nod and left his office. You casually walk over to your desk, sighing at the piled up work that was waiting for you to start.
Jungkook is a fucking psycho, is he really watching every step you take or is he just fucking with you? You sit down, your head still throbbing from the hangover and your situation with Jungkook. 
All of a sudden you hear footsteps heading towards you making you groan in frustration. ‘Jungkook if this is you again, I’m going to lose my fucking mind’
“You ready, y/n?” You hear Jimin say, your stomach dropped at the sound of his voice as your head replays Jungkook’s words. You still couldn’t wrap your head around the thought of Jimin looking at you, especially with lust. After all these years of being friends with him, you find out 6 years later that he might’ve gained some type of feeling for you. You shake your head, trying to clear any lingering thoughts from invading your mind. ‘Get your shit together.’
“Yes I am, Jimin!” You say while quickly standing up and grabbing your purse. You hear Jimin laugh at your rushed actions.
“I’m not going anywhere, y/n, no need to rush yourself.” He chuckles. You suddenly get a sharp pain in your heart, his job is at stake because of you, knowing that he will be forced to leave if you don't obey Jungkook. One fuck up and you’ll be ruining Jimin’s life. 
‘Jungkook is such a fucking asshole.’
Jimin looks at you, concerned, as you stare at him blankly. You shake your head to regain consciousness. 
You sigh, “I’m sorry, Jimin. I’m such a mess right now.” You lean your head over to your hands in front of you, shaking your head from stress.
Jimin takes a step closer to you, your heart begins to thump against your chest, please no please. He then lands his hand over your back to comfort you, making your body stiff in response, hoping he didn’t feel your shift, “It’s okay, y/n. Hopefully going out for a bit will refresh your mind.” He says with a soft voice. ‘Thank fucking God he didn’t.’
You lift your head back up to see him smiling at you. You start to relax a bit, breathing out to calm yourself down, “Thank you, Jimin.” He nods in response with a smile.
The both of you start to walk over to the elevator, talking about the project that the both of you were assigned to work on and finish before Friday. It was an endless cycle, you’ll finish a project but once you turn it in, another one pops up. It is very draining and can be a bit boring doing the same thing everyday but it paid my bills and that’s all that mattered.
You groan, “Yeah, I don’t know if I’ll be able to finish my part in time.” You were a procrastinator and had trouble trying to stay focused, Jungkook also being part of that problem. 
“If you want, I can come over to your place tonight to help out?” Jimin offers. You gave him a smile, blessed to have a friend like Jimin. This was the reason why you appreciated Jimin and never want him to leave. He cared for you and always tried to help you out when you needed it, literally an angel sent from above.
You happily cheered, “Yes, please! I have a hard time focusing when I’m alone.”
He laughs, “I’ll meet you at your place after work then.” He says. You thank him while the both of you exit the elevator. As you walk towards the entrance, you feel a pair of eyes burning through your skin. You try to shake it off and ignore the annoying sensation, knowing that it’s Jungkook. When you turn around to check, he isn’t there. But you know it’s him.
You and Jimin arrive at a cafe, the smell of coffee and fresh pastries making you salivate from just the smell alone. You hear Jimin laughing behind you as you waddle your way to the glass that showcased the food, you couldn’t help it, you loved anything that was bread. While you went over to the cash register to order your food, Jimin nudged you away, paying for the order instead.
You smile at his small gesture, butterflies fluttering at his actions. You shake your head at yourself. No. Don’t think or feel that way, he’s just a nice person and he’s doing it because he’s your best friend, that’s all.
Jimin turns around after finishing up the order and raises a brow, a smirk slightly forming on his lips, “Are you okay, y/n? You’re a bit…red.” Your eyes widened a bit, quickly raising your hand to your cheek to feel that you were a bit warm. You didn’t notice that you were blushing, you shouldn’t be, it was wrong, he was like a brother to you.
“I’m okay!” You say quickly. He laughs at your rushed words only making you blush more. You lightly slap his shoulders wanting this whole entire thing to stop already.
Jimin led the way to a table in the cafe but as you were walking to the side cafe you felt that staring sensation on your back again. He’s here. Why the fuck is he here and why was he stalking your every move? Was he going to do this every time you were with Jimin? To make sure you don’t fall for him? So that Jimin doesn’t fall for you? It was getting too much for you, he was doing too much, being too possessive and you fucking hated it. It was your life, why was he trying to control it.
“No but seriously, y/n, are you okay? You look really out of it today.” You hear Jimin say, cutting out your unending thoughts about Jungkook. You look up and see his concerned face again. You sigh in defeat. You had to tell him. Something in you didn’t want to but he had the right to know.
Your gaze went back down to the table, unable to hold his gaze any longer, “Jungkook took me into his office today and gave me an offer to be his assistant.” You weakly say, you hear him breathe out a long sigh, a sigh that sounded more annoyed.
“And? What did you say?” He says in a more stern voice, causing you to look at him again. His eyes were filled with anger, his jaw tensed. Seeing him like this made you smile. His stare softens a bit from your smile. It was probably the wrong time to smile but just knowing that he cares for your well being touches something in your heart, and you couldn’t help it.
“I said yes. But before you say anything else, I’m doing this for you, for us. So please, don’t do anything to make this situation as bad as it already is, I’m handling it.” You look down again, the table suddenly becoming more interesting, “He threatened me, saying that if I don't take the position then he’ll move you to a different location and I…” You pause, “I can’t be in a workplace without you. You help me when I’m stuck, take me out when I need a break and so many other things, Jimin.” You shake your head, irritated about Jungkook. But you felt more relieved telling him the situation and not keeping it to yourself. Yes it was probably wrong to do and Jungkook might torment you later but you didn’t care, Jimin needed to know.
He sighs again and flicks your forehead. You wince, the small flick hurting more than it should’ve. You raise your head up, rubbing the pain on your head, glaring at the amused Jimin in front of you. “You’re such an idiot, you know that?” He chuckles lightly, “But thank you, y/n, for telling me but he is manipulating you. You shouldn’t let him do that to you.”
“But-” You tried to speak but he cuts you off.
“But nothing, y/n. I’ll help you, like you said, I help you right? So let me help you again.” He gives you a smile, making you smile back. Him helping you would only make things worse because he wasn’t supposed to know in the first place but you appreciate him for wanting to try.
Before anything else was able to be said, the food arrived, along with another presence. 
Jungkook.
“Being cozy I see.” Jungkook speaks with a slightly irritated tone. He looks at the tensed Jimin before slowly moving his gaze over to you. Once he reaches you, his stare hardens, making you feel uncomfortable in your seat, your actions causing Jungkook to grin at your squirm. 
He then leans over, planting his hands on the table, “May I join?” Jungkook asks, while looking at you, his right hand close to your left arm. He speaks as if he was only speaking to you, completely ignoring Jimin that was seated right across from you.
“Su-” You try to speak but Jimin, once again, cuts you off to answer instead.
“Sorry Jungkook, I planned this lunch to just be me and y/n for today, maybe next time.” Jimin replies calmly with a smile, completely masking his annoyance with the man in front of us. Jungkook was still looking at you, his expression changing after hearing Jimin’s response, his jaw tensing from annoyance.
But he still kept his gaze at you. “Well then, I guess I’ll see you at my office later, y/n, I already took the stuff from your desk and placed them on the desk inside my room.” You took a small glance at Jimin who was also looking at you, his face mixed with multiple emotions, irritation but also worry. You just gave him a small smile before turning back to Jungkook.
“Thank you, I’ll see you soon Jungkook.” You say, your tone flat. Jungkook’s hands turned into fist, knowing that you’ll be punished for this later on.
Jungkook sighs and nods before he leaves, leaving you and Jimin at the table. You didn’t have an appetite to eat your pastry that was in front of you. Jimin caught on and tried to speak about something else to forget about what happened but your head couldn’t rest.
Jungkook was going to be a fucking pain in the ass.
On your way back to the office, you dreaded the thought of seeing Jungkook again. Jimin was able to feel your emotions, comforting you by promising that he’ll always be there for you to lean on and as much as you appreciated his kindness, it was only going to make it worse. You told him that you were going to be fine but of course he ignored your words and kept his. As much as you wanted him to help would only make it closer to him leaving the place and you had to stop him before that happens, but you didn’t know how. Jimin was altruistic and stubborn, he would help in any way and never give up on trying but Jungkook is demanding and would have his way with just the snap of his fingers. You had to obey Jungkook no matter what and break Jimin’s heart in the long run. As much as it hurt to think about that, you had to do it.
You walked over to Jungkook’s office, ignoring the stares and whispers of your coworkers as it was unusual to see someone willingly enter the boss’ space, not like you had the choice though. You take a breath in before exhaling as you go in, being greeted by Jungkook sitting on his desk, hands interlocked on top of the surface in front of him. You were thankful the windows that faced everyone else outside were tinted so no one could see in and only out, but that only felt more unnerving, knowing that he was making you suck his cock while everyone else was on the other side unbothered. Your spine shivered with that thought.
You begin to walk over to him towards the desk, stopping once you reach just a foot away from the table, Jungkook grinning at your uncomfortable stance.
“Y/N, why do you look so uncomfortable? It’s like you forgot about the first time we were in a room with just the two of us.” He taunts. Your breathing hitched, your mind going back to when he returned to your apartment to drop off your purse and did things you now regret doing. You blamed yourself for having that impulse, blaming yourself  for being so fucking drunk and horny.
“I was drunk, Jungkook. For all we know, you manipulated me into doing that with you.” You blamed him even though it was completely your fault but it seemed right to accuse him. If he didn’t come back and just waited until the next day to bring you back your purse it wouldn’t have happened. Right?
He chuckled, his eyes showing lust, “I didn’t manipulate you, y/n. You wanted it. I heard you moan out my name while you were playing with that slutty pussy of yours.” He stood up from his chair, slowly making his way over to you, “I just helped you fullfil that fucked up imagination of yours.” He was now close to you, his breath touching the right side of your face. He leans in, his mouth inches away from your ear, “And I will do it over and over again, either back in your apartment, in mine or even right here in my office.” He whispers lowly, lust all over his voice.
You close your eyes, fists clenched at your sides. No. No. No, “No, Jungkook. We never agreed on any of that. We only agreed on me working here in your office, nothing else.” You croak, your chest felt tight. You weren’t sure if it was because you were scared or if you were irritated with his words. You didn’t want to do anything more with the man that fucking threatened you just because he wanted you all to himself. He was fucking delusional and it made you hate him more than it was back in highschool. He never changed, he was still the bully from highschool.
He hums, his face still in front of your ear, “You’re my assistant, right? So you have to do everything I ask you to do.” You can’t see him but you know that he is smiling, knowing that he has you trapped. You let out a shaky breath, he’s right, he lured you into his trap and you just walked into it, not knowing the consequences. Jimin was right, you were a fucking idiot.
You face him, stepping back to increase the space between you and Jungkook, “Fine. But I’m only doing this to keep Jimin here.” You say, your voice shaking from anger. You look into Jungkook’s eyes, his expression changing after the mention of Jimin.
He straightens his posture, laughing while he does, “Oh, Jimin. Your knight in shining armor?” He pauses, chuckling at his own words, “Be fucking grateful that I’m allowing you to be with that so called ‘man,’ but if I see or find out anything more happening between you two, I will not fucking hesitate. Understand, y/n?” He stares at you, his eyes dark. You clench your jaw and nod.
And just like that, his whole entire expression changes again, back to being professional, “Your desk is over there, I will let you know when I need you.” He points over to the desk that was positioned in the corner by the large window that oversaw the whole entire city. You nod again, making your way to your desk, huffing as you sat down to continue your work.
The rest of the day was surprisingly quiet, mostly because Jungkook was called into never ending meetings which you were grateful for. You began to pack up your things, packing up papers that you needed to finish a project with Jimin that was due at the end of the week. With everything together, you walked out of the office, only to be faced with Jimin who was standing right in front of the door.
“Fuck, Jimin, you scared the shit out of me.” You say as you hold your hand to your heart. He almost gave you a heart attack. He laughed, finding it amusing that he almost killed you at work.
He wiped tears that were pushed out from his laughing fit, “I’m sorry, y/n. I didn’t mean to and I say that from the bottom of my heart.” He says as little giggles tried to escape while he was speaking to you.
You just rolled your eyes, “Let’s just go before Mr.Buzzkill comes back from his meeting.” You said it as a joke but it was true.
Jimin nods with a grin, taking your hand into his, causing small tingles that traveled from your hand to the rest of your body. You quickly swiped your hand away. Jimin looked at you confused, he sometimes held your hand to lead you when the both of you walked together but this time it was a new feeling, something that shouldn’t be happening.
“I-I’m sorry. Just with the whole Jungkook situation, I can’t” You half lied. It was true that it was because of Jungkook. If Jungkook ever saw that you two were holding hands, he would do something to Jimin. But to you, that wasn’t the reason. Jimin understood without the need of you explaining more, instead he took your things and continued to lead the way to the elevator.
You were at your apartment complex with Jimin by your side holding your things again. You unlocked the door, the familiar scent of clean linen making you relax. You have never missed a place so much in your life.
“Just place my things in my room, I’ll cook us dinner for tonight.” You spoke from the kitchen as Jimin was still standing by the entrance, removing his shoes. “What do you feel like eating tonight?” You yell out to ask as Jimin was already in your room dropping off your belongings.
“Do something easy, like ramen with eggs.” He replies. You gave him a look as if he was afraid that you would cook something that wouldn’t taste as good as his cooking. But you agreed, you were tired after all. You began to cook the noodles while Jimin prepared cold side dishes to go with the ramen while setting up the table for the two of you. Just by the presence of Jimin gives you a calm feeling, knowing that you are safe in his hands. He knows how to make you smile, no matter how bad you were feeling. You just hated that there was a huge fucking wall going inbetween you two, wishing that it wasn’t there because Jimin wasn’t a bad guy to be with. He is that dream man that every woman wanted and you happened to be that lucky woman.
“Do you need anything, y/n?” You hear Jimin say, invading your thoughts. You didn’t realize that you were looking directly at him, causing you to blush. You didn’t mean to be staring at him.
You chuckle weakly, “I’m okay Jimin. I’m just really lucky to have you in my life.” And you really meant it, from the bottom of your heart. Jimin gives you one of his big smiles, so big that even his eyes were smiling. It was cute. But his smile slowly disappeared as if he was remembering something.
“Don’t get too used to it, y/n, cause I know that one day our friendship will get ruined.” He was right, you both knew it. Only because of one fucking man. “I just don’t get it though, why now?” He questions. You know the answer but you felt too embarrassed to even tell him the day you had Jungkook over. The way Jungkook felt threatened by her friendship with Jimin and wanting her to himself. You just shrug as an answer, shaking your head at the thought of it.
“I wish I knew Jimin.” But you did know.
After dinner, both you and Jimin went straight to the project for work. Groaning every time something came up that required too much thinking or just not wanting to do this at all.
“We shouldn’t be spending our Wednesday like this.” You groan the millionth time. This was going to take forever and you hated having this type of work that had a specific deadline. How were you supposed to figure out a way to come up with an advertisement that would attract millions of people? Projects like these wished you never applied at a demanding marketing job.
“Let’s just take a break for a few minutes and get back to it. Maybe we will come up with something by then.” Jimin shifts next to you, ready to pull up something on the tv. As much as you wanted to watch a show, you know that after the first episode there’s no going back.
“Jimin, if we end up watching something we won’t get this project done.” You argue, but Jimin wasn’t having it.
He shrugs, “I’ll just come over again tomorrow.” You groan in defeat. You lift yourself off the floor, sitting next to Jimin on the couch. Instead of playing a show he pulls up a movie. ‘Yeah we won’t be continuing our project.’ You thought to yourself. The movie ‘Dead Silence’ begins to play as Jimin shuts off the light, adding in onto the horror feeling. You had a mixed feeling with horror films, you liked them but didn’t like to be scared.
It was only just the beginning of the movie and a jumpscare already popped up, making you jump from your place. Instinctively you shoved your face onto Jimin's shoulder, not wanting to look at the screen. You can feel Jimin laughing underneath your touch, making you lift your head to look at him.
“That was really scary, okay?” You say while covering your ears from the obnoxiously loud music playing from the movie.
He looks back at you and throws his hands up in surrender, “Okay, okay, I won’t laugh next time.” He says, still slightly giggling. He brings his arms down, his smile slowly fades away as he still stares at you. Both of you staring at each other, ignoring the movie playing, the sound now background noise to you. You watch his eyes travel down your face, landing onto your lips and back up to your eyes. You freeze in place, knowing what he wants, but you don't move. ‘Why aren’t you pulling away?’ You thought to yourself. Did you want this? ‘Yes’ Would it cause consequences? ‘Yes’ Do you care? ‘No.’ You were having an unending battle with yourself. But you didn’t give a fuck.
You started to inch closer to Jimin as he did the same, both of you now looking at each other’s lips. You see him graze his tongue on his bottom lip, causing your clit to throb. You couldn’t fucking take it anymore. You lifted your hand, slowly moving it to his pants, feeling his bulge of desire. You hear his breathing hitch as you begin to caress his throbbing cock that was trapped inside his jeans. And just like that, Jimin crashes his lips to yours. You let out a small moan as he pushed his tongue inside your mouth, tasting you.
“Fuck, y/n, I’ve been waiting for years to finally kiss you.” He spoke breathlessly onto your mouth.
TAGS; @coralmusicblaze, @holybxba, @lpgirl2324
Editor's Note: I’m soooooo sorry that this took a bit! I got way too busy and didn’t have the time to type out another chapter but here’s part three! I am planning on writing more stories which also took a lot more of my time but i do have more time in my hands now so hopefully i can post more! 
if you want to be tagged for future parts, comment below!!
PLEASE do not copy, translate or post my writing on any other platform without my consent. ―taevolu🤍
credits:
Picture -  Andre Benz (unsplash.com)
Jungkook PNG - starcolors13 (deviantart.com)
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bellaxgiornata · 11 months ago
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New Jeans
Pairing: Michael Kinsella x Fem!Reader Word Count: 3.8k
Warnings/tags: 18+; fluff, dirty thoughts, embarassment, confession of feelings, and Michael’s perfect ass
Summary: Tired of the power struggle and constant arguing between Frank and Amanda, you find yourself distracted by Michael’s ass in a pair of new jeans at an early morning meeting. But your inappropriate daydreams are interrupted when you get caught staring.
a/n: I've had this random little piece sitting around for a bit and I just finally got around to finishing it. That photo of Michael in those black jeans that's been circulating might've fueled me finishing this... Feedback is always appreciated!
Tag list: @shouldbestudying41 @kmc1989 @ebathory997 @mattkinsella @shiorimakibawrites @wkndwlff @pinkratts @lazyxsquirrel @1988-fiend @stilldreaming666 @will-delete-this-later-probably @yarrystyleeza @dramaholic18 @sunflower-tia
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Arms crossed over your chest, you stood in the basement of Jimmy and Amanda’s house, warily eyeing the multiple snake enclosures on the other side of the room to your left. It wasn’t the first time you’d been down here for a meeting, but it never failed to make you a little uneasy with all the snakes Jimmy kept in the room. Some of which you knew to be venomous–even if they supposedly weren’t anymore. It didn’t help that a particularly large snake was eyeing you through the glass, its head raised as its tongue darted out, tasting the air.
But you were here because you didn’t have a choice. Frank had called a meeting this morning shortly after you’d woken in order to discuss a deal with a neighboring gang. Though in true Amanda fashion, and also due to her continued efforts in trying to take over the Kinsella business, she'd insisted the meeting happen here. At her house. 
Truthfully you'd grown tired of the power play back and forth between the two over the past couple of months. While you’d long since come to learn that Frank didn't have much of a backbone for running things when real conflict arose–aside from kissing ass and cutting deals to avoid said conflict–he did have a good sense for business and negotiations when you weren't all stuck in disagreements with rival groups. And while you grudgingly admitted Amanda was great at striking deals to get what she wanted when she was motivated enough–only further proof of how manipulative you'd always known she really was–you knew she had no backbone, either. She was all bark and no bite. One threat from a vengeful rival, a single gun waved in her face, and she'd probably end up in tears. Neither of them really had what it took to run this business long term, but Frank always seemed the lesser of two evils. 
And for the past few years that you’d been an important member of the business, Frank had always been the one in charge. He’d been the one to trust you and pull you up through the ranks, landing you in a position as a trusted member among the Kinsellas alongside Dotser. You were almost as trusted as a Kinsella yourself, which was why you were asked to attend these big, important meetings.
Though the back and forth was beginning to affect the business; something you weren't blind to. Which only made your life harder. You'd been dying for Amanda to stop sticking her nose where it didn't belong and to fall back in line already. She'd already had a good position in the family, one that didn't get her hands quite so dirty. You wished she'd just go back to that and stop trying to boss everyone around, but unfortunately the two voices that would have the biggest say in the matter never quieted her down.
A gentle hand on your shoulder startled you out of your thoughts, your head turning to the side. Birdy stood beside you, greeting you with a warm smile, one which you readily returned as the rest of the family filed past you into the room. 
You liked Birdy. She was dangerous when she needed to be, but she was also incredibly sweet. You'd never had an issue with her before and you had a strong feeling that she liked you more than she let on. 
“G'mornin’, dear,” Birdy greeted. “You're lookin’ quite chipper despite the early hour.”
Laughing lightly, your eyes nervously darted around the room. Briefly they landed on the real reason you were feeling so ‘chipper’ this morning. Michael Kinsella. You knew he'd be at the meeting this morning and that alone had made you eager to show early. And maybe it had been the reason you'd spent a bit of extra time getting ready beforehand.
“I just downed a bunch o’ coffee this mornin’,” you replied quietly, your eyes hurriedly returning to Birdy in the hopes that she hadn't caught you glancing at Michael for noticeably longer than the others. “Figured I might need it for this discussion,” you finished with a shrug. 
One of her dark brows rose curiously up onto her forehead in response, the corner of her lip twitching upwards just a fraction. Heat crept its way up your neck as you forced a smile onto your face, hoping she wouldn't somehow piece things together. She was always far too observant.
“Now that we're finally here,” Frank’s voice rang out through the room, catching your's and Birdy's attention, “let's get this matter settled already.”
Birdy gave your shoulder a gentle pat before she crossed the room, making her way over towards her brother. Her presence beside him was meant to be a clear sign of support during the meeting, though you knew it wouldn't stop Amanda. And as your eyes shifted to the opposite side of the room, you saw her pushing off the wall and already opening her mouth. You sighed, bracing yourself for another one of these frustrating meetings. 
“I still say ya aren’t offerin’ good enough terms,” she shot at Frank, arms crossing over her chest. “Ya take that deal to them and they're goin’ to laugh ya right out the door. Now my suggestion–”
“Is cuttin’ into my profits,” Viking snapped at her, eyes narrowed as he leaned against the row of terrariums behind him. “Why don't ya just give all our profits away with that deal, huh? Seems like that's your plan all along.”
An irritated huff quietly slipped out of your lips, your eyes scanning the room and eventually landing on Dotser. Catching him rolling his eyes, he looked just as tired of their bullshit fighting as you were. You almost laughed at his obvious frustration but immediately stopped yourself. This wasn't the time or place for that.
As the bickering began to fill the room, the noise level increasing, your gaze finally traveled to the Kinsella who was standing just in front of you. Michael. Unlike most of the others, he wasn't currently throwing his thoughts loudly out there to be heard and participating in the continuing and heated argument. Instead, he was running the heels of his hands over his eyes looking very much like he hadn't slept well the previous night. He also looked like he wished he wasn't here, and honestly you couldn't blame him.
Inevitably, as your eyes often did whenever Michael was around and you figured no one was watching, your gaze lowered until it landed on his ass. The edge of his jacket hit right above it, always giving you a perfectly unobstructed view, one you admittedly couldn't resist taking a peak at. 
Except this time it looked like he'd thrown on tighter fitting jeans than usual. A new pair of pants perhaps? You'd seen him wearing the same few over the past year ever since he'd been released from prison, you figured you'd have remembered these black ones if he'd have worn them before. Usually he often wore dark wash jeans, but these ones hugged his ass more than any of the others you'd seen him in. They even managed to fit snug around his thick, muscular thighs that you'd daydreamed about far too often.
No, these looked like new jeans. You were certain of it.
Bottom lip rolling back between your teeth, your eyes lingered on the shape of Michael’s lower half in those new jeans. The argument around you continued on, but you ignored the ever increasing noise. You'd much rather imagine running your hands over the perfect, round curve of his ass, even over the stiff new denim. And there were certainly other stiff things you'd have loved to feel beneath those jeans.
Your eyelids fluttered shut for a moment as you tried to imagine being able to actually grope that tempting bit of him currently tugging at the seams of his jeans. Ultimately you had to actively force yourself to remember that you weren't alone in this basement, though that was quickly becoming hard to do as your mind began conjuring up mental images of you undoing the button and zipper of those pants and yanking them down his large thighs. Imagining your hands reaching around to cup his ass in your palms over the dark boxers you pictured he wore, you wondered just how firm the muscle would feel when you gave it a squeeze. Just how much of that ass could you manage to fit into both of your hands? 
Shifting back and forth on your feet, thighs pressing together, you realized you were getting a bit too hot and bothered by your line of thoughts already, but yet you couldn't seem to stop them this morning as you tuned out all the disagreements around you.
You wished you could drag him out of here by the hand and head next door back to his place. You wanted to tear those jeans right off of him. To drop to your knees in front of him and caress his solid thighs between your hands, taking your time massaging the muscles and appreciating his legs as much as they deserved–along with another part of him. You longed to hear the noises he'd make, especially considering you had overheard from Jimmy that he supposedly still hadn't gotten laid since he’d been released from prison. You always imagined he'd be quite vocal with how long it'd been since someone had taken care of him.
What you wouldn't give to feel those powerful thighs of his slamming against the back of you as he bent you over the side of his sofa, too. To feel his strong hands gripping your hips and holding you in place while he fucked you. To feel his–
Your eyes snapped up at the sound of your name being called in clear agitation. Glancing around the room, you noticed everyone was staring at you. Your palms began to sweat when you caught Michael’s eye, the questioning look on his face causing your face to heat in embarrassment after the thoughts you'd just been having about him. Though when Frank ground out your name between his teeth, your eyes flew over towards him.
“Sorry, what was that?” you asked.
“ Christ ,” Frank cursed, running an agitated hand through his hair. “I was askin’ your thoughts on the new proposal. Ya were listenin’ to that, weren't ya? Because that was the whole damn point of this meetin’.”
Arms hugging your chest tighter, you felt that heat burning even more at your face now. Because no, you hadn't heard a damn thing that had been said. 
“Sorry, I s'pose I didn't have as much coffee this mornin’ as I'd thought,” you replied awkwardly. “What uh, what was the new proposal?”
Standing beside Frank's irritated form, you saw Birdy eyeing you with something like a knowing smile growing on her face. That's when you knew you were in trouble. She clearly had some idea of what was going on, but thankfully it seemed that she had the tact not to say anything. 
But quite unfortunately for you, someone else didn't. 
“She might've heard what was goin’ on,” Amanda snapped, shooting you a dark look, “if she hadn't been so damn busy starin’ at Michael’s damn arse the whole time we were talkin’.”
It felt like someone had knocked the air out of your lungs, your heart skipping a beat in your chest at her accusation. Your eyes immediately grew wide in embarrassment. Of course Amanda would've noticed your attentions on Michael and grown jealous with how inappropriately protective she was over her husband's brother. Because she wanted him, too.
“He isn't interested in ya,” Amanda spat. “So ya might as well pay attention to what ya are gettin’ paid to do ‘round here. That should be interestin’ enough for ya.”
You could feel Michael’s eyes boring a hole into the side of your face while Amanda had been speaking, but you hadn't dared to look over at him. How could you even begin to dispute what she'd said? All you could do was wish one of those snakes in the nearby enclosures would suddenly swallow you whole so you could get out of this absolutely mortifying situation. 
Thankfully it was Frank who unintentionally came to your rescue. 
“Alright, fuck it,” he growled in agitation. “We'll reconvene on this shit later. I've got other things to take care of this mornin’, I don't have time to deal with the goddamn lot o’ ya bein’ a fuckin’ pain in my ass this mornin’.” He waved a hand towards the basement steps, gesturing his head sharply at it. “Go on, fuck off all o’ ya.”
You didn't wait to be told twice. Abruptly turning on the spot, you hurried towards the stairs and began to rush your way up them. You couldn't get out of the house fast enough, desperate to get to your car parked on the street and back to your house. 
What an embarrassing morning. How were you ever going to show your face around Michael ever again? Amanda was one thing–you'd certainly have no issue telling her off later for being an asshole–but Mikey? For fuck's sake, you did jobs with him. He relied on you. 
And now he knew you were into him.
Yanking open the front door of Amanda and Jimmy’s house, you rushed outside. The chill of the morning air felt refreshing in comparison to the way your body temperature had vastly begun to increase as you nearly sprinted down the drive, maneuvering around the expensive cars parked there. Relief flooded you once you reached the end of it, your car coming into view. 
You were so close to freedom. All you wanted to do was get back home, then you'd somehow figure out how to deal with this whole awkward situation. Maybe you'd have time to find a way to explain everything away to Michael later in a way that wasn’t quite so embarrassing. But just as you'd managed to unlock your car, your hand reaching for the handle, you heard him exiting the house and calling your name. Hand freezing in midair just before the door handle, your body tensed. You'd been so close to getting out of here before he could confront you, but apparently you still hadn't been fast enough. 
His heavy footsteps were fast approaching and you winced at the sound of the pavement under his shoes. Seconds later he was saying your name again, clearly having come to a stop just behind you as his reflection came into view along your car's window, his face visible above your shoulder. Your eyes clamped shut, your mouth going dry instantly as your hand dropped back to your side. You truly didn't think you could turn around and look him in the face right now. 
“What was that back there?” Michael asked.
You grimaced at the question, opening only one eye to peek at Michael's reflection. He was standing just behind you with such a confused expression on his face, his dark brows knitted together. The sight of it had you blurting the first thing that came to your mind.
“‘M’sorry, I was just in my head ‘cause I was sick o’ the fightin’ those two always get into at meetin's lately,” you said, scrambling for an explanation. “I wasn't actually staring at your ass, ya just happened to be standin’ in front o’ me.”
“So then why did ya run outta there so fast?” he asked.
Shrugging a shoulder lamely, you shook your head. “‘Cause it's a bit embarrassin’ having Amanda call me out in front o’ everyone like that. In a meeting no less.”
Michael blew out a slow, tired breath behind you. Nervously you began chewing the inside of your cheek, wishing this uncomfortable moment would come to an end so you could get in your car and get out of here. 
“And why won't ya even look at me now?” he asked, voice softer. “Ya can't even look me in the eye.”
“‘Cause I…”
Your voice trailed off, the sentence hanging unfinished in the air. What were you supposed to tell him? You figured he'd see right through anything more that you said if he hadn't already. And you knew Michael was smart. Was he really buying any of the bullshit you were spewing now?
Sighing, your shoulders dropped in defeat. You'd already been caught and called out by Amanda, you might as well just confess and deal with the repercussions now and be done with it. He'd probably never want to work jobs with you again, but you'd live. Even if you vastly preferred his company and level head to that of working with Jimmy or Viking.
“Okay, yes,” you admitted, turning around and finally facing him. “I was starin’ at your ass and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been,” you continued, fighting the nerves making you feel like you were about to vomit on his shoes, especially with the way his eyebrows had risen so high onto his forehead. “I find ya attractive, I always have. Ever since I first met ya at that welcome home party Amanda and Jimmy threw for ya. And I've–I've had a stupid little crush on ya for the past year ‘cause ya weren't like any o’ the others in your family, but I've always done my best to keep things professional with ya. Which I will still continue to do, but I understand if ya aren't comfortable workin’ jobs with me anymore.”
Michael continued to stand there, blinking a few times as if he hadn't expected you to quite say all of that. Your stomach twisted anxiously at his silence and you began to wonder if you might have overshared a bit too much. Maybe you shouldn't have confessed the bit about your crush when you'd been owning up to staring at his ass, too.
“This is sufficiently uncomfortable so I'm just,” you gestured your thumb to your car behind you, cringing awkwardly at the situation, “goin’ to go.”
Michael’s hand darted out, catching onto your wrist before you'd had a chance to turn around. You froze, your eyes dropping down to where his long fingers were wrapped around you. It felt like your heart had jumped up into your throat at his unexpected touch, heavily slamming away. Gradually your eyes slid up the length of his arm, landing back on the sheepish expression now etched across Michael’s face. 
“Ya aren't the only one,” he whispered.
Your brows drew together on your forehead as you gazed at him in confusion. “What?” you asked. 
“I mean,” Michael said, taking a step closer to you, “ya aren't the only one. I've had feelings for ya for a while now myself. But I just figured it was best not to get involved. Considerin’ we work together and…I don't have the best past.”
“That wasn't your fault,” you blurted automatically. 
A faint smile spread along his lips, his hand still holding your wrist in a gentle grip. It took your brain a moment to process what he'd just said before that bit though. Did Michael actually have a thing for you too?
“Would ya maybe…let me take ya to dinner later this week?” he asked. 
Sucking in a breath at his question, you swore you stopped breathing for a moment. Especially with the nervous and hopeful way he was staring at you now. 
“As a date?” you managed out.
“Yeah?” he replied hesitantly. “Would that be alright?”
“I–yeah,” you answered, nodding quickly. “Yeah, I'd really like that.”
Relief visibly overtook his features as a wide smile spread along his lips. You could still feel your nerves coursing through you though, and they only increased when Michael's hand on your wrist slid downwards, his fingers carefully entwining with yours. 
“For the record,” he began softly, “I might've stared at your arse a few times myself.”
Mouth falling open, your eyes grew wide in surprise. Michael chuckled softly at your reaction, nodding slowly.
“It's true,” he told you. “Just didn't want ya to feel left out.”
You tried to bite back the stupid smile threatening to break out across your face, but the sight of the one growing even wider on his own mouth had you failing miserably. How long had the pair of you been trying to hide your feelings for the other over this past year? Because it was quickly beginning to feel ridiculous now.
“Can I ask what had ya managin’ to be distracted through the entirety of that meetin’?” Michael asked curiously.
Clearing your throat, your eyes dropped down towards your feet. You could feel a flush forming on your cheeks at the question. “I uh, was tryin’ to figure out if those were new jeans ya had on,” you muttered awkwardly.
Michael’s warm laughter had your stomach somersaulting inside of you, but your embarrassment only grew as your cheeks further heated. Of course you weren’t going to admit to the inappropriate things you’d been imagining while trying to figure out if those were new jeans.
“Yeah,” Michael answered, amused, “they are. Kinda glad I bought ‘em now.”
“So am I,” you mumbled.
Michael’s hand gently squeezed yours, the touch drawing your eyes back up towards his. He was grinning at you now, the corners of his eyes creased. He looked happy in a way you’d never really seen on him. At least, not any time he wasn’t with his daughter, Anna.
“I’ve gotta help Frank with some things this mornin’ but can I call ya later today?” he asked. “To make plans for takin’ ya out later this week?”
“Yeah,” you answered, smiling nervously back at him. “Sounds good.”
His lips curled up slightly higher at the corners, his hand once more squeezing yours before he released it. Then he turned, heading back towards the drive of Jimmy and Amanda’s house no doubt in search of Frank. As he walked, your eyes once more landed on the curve of his ass in those wonderful black jeans, the pockets stretched perfectly across the width of each cheek. But just as Michael made it halfway up the drive, you saw him glance over his shoulder back at you.
Your face burned as your eyes darted back up to meet his. He let out a little laugh that carried towards you on the wind before he shot you a cheeky smile that had your palms beginning to sweat. Spinning around, you opened your car door and quickly slid into the driver’s seat, your heart pounding wildly in your chest. 
But as you started the car, shooting one last glance out of your window at Michael’s form retreating back into the house, you found yourself hoping that he wore those jeans on your date later this week. Because his ass really did look damn good in them.
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chaoticrockmusic · 3 months ago
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Trapped in the Space Between Us
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Synopsis: After a mission goes wrong, you and Scott Summers are stranded together in a freezing storm with no way out. Forced into close quarters, unspoken feelings finally come to light, changing everything between you.
Warnings; None! Enjoy kits!
Requested from @milkbean69!
The jet hit turbulence harder than expected, and you gripped the edge of your seat as the lights flickered. Scott’s voice came over the comm, steady and in control as always, but you could hear the edge of concern beneath it.
“We’re going down,” he said, his tone sharp with urgency. “Brace yourselves.”
You barely had time to react before the crash landing. Everything blurred, and the next thing you knew, the jet had stopped moving. The alarms were blaring, and you scrambled to unbuckle yourself, your heart pounding in your chest.
Scott was already out of his seat, helping you up. “You okay?” he asked, his jaw clenched, his visor reflecting the blinking red lights.
“Yeah, I think so.” You rubbed your arm, where you’d hit the side of the seat, but it was nothing serious. “What about the others?”
“Already on it,” he replied. “Storm’s handling the situation, but we’re going to have to wait here until we can get help. We’re not going anywhere for a while.”
You swallowed hard as you looked around the now-ruined jet. The rest of the team had already gone to survey the crash site, leaving you and Scott behind to secure the ship. A cold wind howled outside, shaking the structure, and it didn’t take long to realize how isolated you were. Snow was piling up quickly outside, and with the jet down and communication systems failing, you were trapped.
Just you and Scott.
“I’ll check the supplies,” Scott said, breaking the silence. He was already moving, trying to stay focused, but you could tell from his body language that he wasn’t thrilled with the situation either.
Minutes passed as you worked to secure the jet’s systems, and the cold air seeped in through the cracks, making the small space feel even smaller. You were both stuck in the cockpit with barely enough room to move, the wind howling louder now, rattling the metal walls around you.
“Guess we’re not going anywhere soon,” you muttered, sitting down on the bench, wrapping your arms around yourself for warmth.
Scott glanced at you, the tension in his shoulders still apparent. “We’ll get out of here. We just need to be patient.” His words were calm, but there was a flicker of something beneath the surface—maybe frustration, maybe concern. It was hard to tell with him sometimes.
The minutes ticked by slowly, the space between you and Scott feeling tighter with every passing second. You could hear him shifting, adjusting his position, trying to stay calm, but it was obvious that being stuck like this wasn’t exactly ideal for either of you.
The temperature kept dropping, and after a while, the cold was becoming impossible to ignore. You glanced at him, catching him watching you. His visor hid his eyes, but the way his body tensed made it clear he had noticed your shivering.
“Come here,” he said suddenly, his voice low but firm.
“What?”
“We need to conserve heat. If we don’t stay warm, we’ll both be in trouble.” He shifted, making room on the narrow bench next to him. “It’s not ideal, but it’s necessary.”
You hesitated, your heart beating a little faster at the thought of being that close to him. Scott wasn’t exactly known for being the most emotionally open person, and the idea of sitting pressed up against him in this tiny space sent a wave of tension through you.
But you didn’t have a choice. Reluctantly, you moved closer, feeling the warmth of his body immediately as you sat down next to him. It was a strange kind of intimacy, one that neither of you had prepared for, but the cold left little room for options. You shifted, trying to get comfortable, though every move seemed to make you more aware of just how close you were to him.
For a moment, the silence stretched between you, thick and heavy, the only sound the faint howl of the wind outside. His arm brushed against yours, and even through your layers, you felt the contact.
Scott cleared his throat. “This isn’t exactly what I had in mind for the mission.”
You couldn’t help but laugh, the tension breaking just a little. “Yeah, me neither.”
But even as the small bit of humor lightened the mood, the proximity between you felt more intense than ever. The weight of his presence, the steady rise and fall of his breathing, the warmth of his body—it all pressed down on you, making it harder to think clearly.
The wind outside howled even louder, and despite the layers of clothing and gear, the cold was still biting at your skin. You shifted slightly, your shoulder pressing more firmly against Scott’s. He stiffened for a moment before relaxing, letting the tension in his body ease, as if giving in to the necessity of being close.
For a few moments, neither of you spoke, the air between you filled with the hum of the broken systems and the distant storm outside. But the weight of the silence wasn’t just from the cold. It was something more—something that had been lingering between the two of you for a while, but neither of you had dared to acknowledge it.
Scott shifted next to you, his gloved hand brushing yours for just a second. The touch sent a jolt through you, even though it had been unintentional. You glanced over at him, wondering if he felt it too, but his face was as unreadable as ever behind his visor.
Still, the tension was impossible to ignore.
“I’m sorry,” he said suddenly, his voice quiet, almost hesitant.
“For what?” you asked, surprised.
“For… this,” he gestured vaguely at the cramped cockpit and the freezing conditions. “You shouldn’t be stuck here like this. I should’ve done better.”
You shook your head, unable to stop the small smile that tugged at your lips. “It’s not your fault, Scott. No one could’ve predicted this.”
He was silent for a moment, and when he spoke again, his voice was even quieter. “I should’ve kept you out of danger.”
“Scott, we’re in this together. I chose this life just like you did. It’s not your job to protect me.”
He turned toward you then, his face only inches from yours. The proximity made your breath catch, and for the first time, you could feel the heat radiating off him, despite the cold that surrounded you. His jaw clenched, and his expression softened, like he was wrestling with something inside himself.
“I can’t help it,” he admitted, his voice barely a whisper. “I can’t help but want to keep you safe.”
Your heart skipped a beat at his words. The raw honesty in them caught you off guard—Scott wasn’t the type to let his emotions slip so easily. You’d seen him be strong, stoic, always in control. But here, now, in this small, confined space, something had changed. There was vulnerability in the way he looked at you, something deeper than his usual sense of responsibility.
You swallowed, your voice quiet. “Why?”
He hesitated, his breathing uneven. “Because you’re… different. You’re not just another teammate. You’re…” His voice trailed off, and he glanced away, struggling with the words.
The room felt even smaller, the air between you thick with unspoken feelings. Before you could second-guess it, you leaned in, closing the small distance between you. Your lips brushed his—soft, tentative, just enough to test the waters.
For a second, he didn’t move, as if frozen by the moment. But then, almost cautiously, he responded. His hand came up to cup the side of your face, pulling you closer, deepening the kiss just enough to make your heart race. The warmth of him chased away the cold, and in that brief moment, the outside world seemed to disappear.
When you finally pulled back, breathless, Scott’s face was still close, his thumb brushing lightly against your cheek. His lips parted, and you could see the conflict in his expression—the careful control he always held teetering on the edge of something more.
“I’ve wanted to tell you for a while,” he murmured, his voice barely audible. “But I couldn’t. Not until now.”
Your heart pounded in your chest. “Tell me what?”
“That I care about you,” he said, his voice firm but gentle. “More than I should. More than I ever planned to.”
You exhaled softly, your own feelings rushing to the surface. “I feel the same way, Scott.”
For the first time since you’d known him, Scott’s guard dropped completely. He leaned in again, capturing your lips in another kiss—this one deeper, more certain. The cold, the storm, the broken jet—all of it faded into the background as the weight of everything unsaid finally found its voice.
When you pulled away again, his forehead rested against yours, and for the first time, the tension between you felt lighter, as if a weight had been lifted. The forced proximity that had once felt like a burden now felt like the moment you both had been waiting for.
Do not copy or translate plz! -CallMe_Bunni
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mischiefmaker615 · 4 months ago
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Ghost (Loki Love Story) Ch. 20
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Your brows furrow as the light from your damn shade rests upon your eyes. Going back to sleep was impossible now- when you’re awake, you’re awake. Yet what really was lowering your chances even more was the awkward weight over your body.
Peaking an eye open, you raise your head slightly and the sight before you has your eyes wide and your body tense up. Loki laid on his stomach on top of you- shirtless- and resting peacefully like he always does since day one of being stuck together. His gentle breathing would press his bare chest up against your chest before he would exhale. His face was in the crook of your neck where you could feel the tip of his nose resting against your neck like you were practically as knife point.
As you raised your head a bit more to look more down, most of his body was up against your side with an arm draped over your stomach and the sheet showing you both had a slight tussle where it now laid semi wrapped around both your lower selves. The sheet went just enough down to show his gorgeous backline, but it stopped just where his torso was and you were debating on whether he was wearing pants or not.. you couldn’t tell.
Wrong.
Something hard was resting against your leg, something that would twitch every now and again that would make your heart rate speed up. Redness came to your cheeks as memories of the party came back to you- and.. oh gods.. last night right here.. in this bed.. you wanted to cover your face with the pillow if you could.
Right now you laid pinned on your back with only one free hand to flail about except to either rest on the bed or go to rest against his back-which is currently was. His skin was soft, you could feel the muscles of his toned.. everything as you slightly flex your fingers. His skin was notably cold- not super cold, but not your stereotypical body warmth kind of body heat. As your eyes wondered, the more and more you realized how beautiful he was..
When he wasn’t being a pain in your ass.
‘’Loki-‘’ you call, a bit loud in hopes he heard you the first time while you tapped him on the back.
His breathing stilled, almost making you think he might have died right then and there if his heart beat wasn’t thumping against your chest right now. Your suddenly still when you realized your panties were gone and you were in your bra. On second thought, you didn’t want him to wake up if it meant him seeing you- even though he had a damn good look last night.
Your body wanted to curl in on itself as your cheeks heated up while your eyes wandered at what to do. He was on a bit of your wing as well which made things almost impossible to slip out from under him. giving a sigh of frustration, you had no choice and began tapping him again.
“Loki.’’ You said a bit more loudly and after a small moment, felt him sigh and groan.
‘’what?” he mumbled, irritation soaking his voice and you guessed he had a hangover.
‘’roll over, I need to get up.’’ You told him carefully, keeping your voice down to not trigger his most likely headache.
Another groan was heard as his muscles tensed, his hand coming to make a pushup like position but the other across your waist never joined it as he sighed. ‘’I don’t want to move..’’
‘’you’re half way there, use your other arm now.’’ You instruct, hiding the slight annoyance that he was taking his sweet ass time to get off but knew he had a hangover- it couldn’t be easy.
Pulling his other arm off your waist and bringing it to the side of your shoulder, he practically had you caged as he took a deep breath and raised himself on his arms, looking down at you as he opened his tired eyes while his hair hung down one side. ‘’good morning darling’’ he gave a tired smile but his eyes never lacked the love they always had for you as you look to the side with shyness.
‘’roll over, I need to chan-‘’ you cut yourself short but it was to late as his eyes widened and immediately looked down at your pillowed breasts amongst your black bra and you immediately pulled the sheet up against you, glad it hadn’t been lower as you blushed. ‘’don’t loo-‘’
‘’it’s nothing I haven’t seen before darling..’’ he purred and moved off of you, laying on his side as he propped his head up with his hand and the other played with part of your sheet.
Your fingers tightened on it as if he were to yank it off at any second while you sat up. ‘’how much of.. last night do you remember?” you asked, not sure if you wanted to know as you quickly pulled the sheet from his fingers and wrapped it around yourself, pausing to notice he had his boxers on and wasn’t sure if you were relived or disappointed.
He was shamelessly sporting morning wood though and noticed his smirk when he was you staring.
Sparing you the teasing, he raised his eyes to try to remember, wincing a little at the headache. ‘’let’s see.. after you’ve made the choice to dance with the Soldier, I began to indulge my drink I, not soon after, found it it was almost a replica of Asgardian alcohol, and considering the generous amount I had partaken in, got full off of it pretty quick.’’ He explained rather casually before he paused to think again.
‘’I remember dancing with you,’’ a smile came to his lips at the memory before it faded. ‘’Stark being a usual fool, we found ourselves at the couch and..’’
Your eyes were wide as you stood frozen while you listened, your fingers clutching at the sheet around yourself while he searched for words. ‘’annddd..?’’
Loki sat up and ran a hand through his hair, having closed his eyes a moment and by the remnant color of green that faded from his eyes, he must have used magic to rid of his hangover just then. ‘’well..’’ he sighed and shook his head, looking at you with a guilty look. ‘’I do not remember right after that… but considering your particular attire..’’ his expression faded to a blank one while his eyes scanned over for a moment. ‘’did we..?’’
Your cheeks heated up, not particularly wanting to give him details but not also feeding his thoughts either as you shifted in place awkwardly. ‘’no.. we didn’t.’’
Loki raised his brows in astonishment, giving a small look of relief considering how it would be a memory he would like to remember instead before he cocked his head to the side then. ‘’well I am pretty sure you wear sleepwear darling- not that I don’t mind the view, but it would seem it’s either something happened or you’re just that comfortable around me.’’ He half teased as you turned around to face away from him, your face shamefully blushing as your wings tightened in their hold against your exposed back.
‘’we might have done a.. few things- but not that- it’s just that.. well you.. um..’’ you stammer, trying to find the words as you look over your shoulder at him before your eyes moved to your found panties on the ground and back at him.
His eyes followed yours, taking note of your article of clothing on the ground before his eyes moved back to yours. As his lips started going up into a grin, he paused and stopped himself, seeing just how red your cheeks were as he understood what you were getting at. Taking a breath, he ignored his growing erection at the mere thought and idea before he got up to stand behind you, your face having turned back around as you bit your bottom lip.
‘’well darling.. I’m sure you’ll be much more comfortable if we don’t talk about it. What’s done is done,.. are you alright?”
His concerned reaction had you in surprise, making you slowly turn around and by the grace of gods, not look down as you held your breath. He stood before you in only his boxers, his expression purely focusing on making sure you were okay as you stared into his gentle eyes. No innuendos, no teasing, just genuine concern for his drunk behavior.
With the smallest of nods, you couldn’t help but lift a hand and rest it against his chest, your eyes falling to watch your finger tips as they pressed gently against his skin to feel it’s smoothness.
Loki exhaled finally, having held his breath in nervousness himself at your possible reaction but his muscles loosened once he knew you were okay. Your touch made his eyes close, focusing on the sensation of your delicate hand as he longed for you to move it against him, but he relished in your warmth instead, even if it was but your single hand.
‘’..you need a shower..’’
The gentle comment had his eyes open and he let his grin show with a chuckle as he looked down at you. ‘’was it also that bad last night?”
You couldn’t help but feel a smile tub at your lips as she shook your head. ‘’in that aspect, you hold your liquor well. I just suggested because I need a shower.’’
Loki’s expression fell at this with a raised brow, for once staying silent so he could figure out exactly what was coming out of your beautiful mouth. His eyes searched yours, as if in a stale mate to see who would ask first before you found yourself taking a few steps to the door, your back to him now before you paused, knowing there was only so far you could go before you looked over your shoulder.
Loki hadn’t moved, his hands at his sides and stiff as a board.. in all aspects while he watched you with careful breaths. As soon as your sheet hit the floor, he inhaled sharply, your wings covering your backside in a perfect angel to leave small hints that you had nothing on underneath before you reached back and unclipped your bra next.
Your heart was founding in your chest, your shyness screaming at you to hide under the covers, but something else was telling you that you wanted this..
Your bra hit the floor and that’s when you turned back towards the bathroom door. Upon hearing the light yet quite footsteps behind you, you began moving forward again, a bit more confident when you couldn’t see him so you opted to sway your hips a bit more as you walked. When you heard silence, you raised a brow and risked turning around, finding no one there.
‘’..Lo- oof!’’
You yelp when he suddenly reappeared in front of you, losing his balance before you both fell to the ground with him on top. His hands quickly landed on either side of you to support his weight so you weren’t crushed while your own hands had landed to rest above your head. Your cheeks reddened, Loki giving you a sheepish look while his chest pressed up against your bare one.
His smile seemed to slowly disappear when he realized that, his eyes still on yours but on concentration for the sensation of what he was pressing up against and you could feel something else pressing up against you. If you didn’t know any better, you could have sworn you noticed redness to his own cheeks while you stared at each other softly.
‘’..I figure you wouldn’t get offended if it was an accident..’’ Loki chuckled, admitting he had triggered the teleportation on purpose as he didn’t dare look down by your warning look.
‘’right..’’ you said carefully before your features softened. ‘’after you.’’
Tag List: @violethaze @fire-in-her-veinz
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mystic-writings · 2 years ago
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wherever i go (you bring me home)
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PAIRING — wilbur soot x fem!reader
SUMMARY — you and wilbur get into your first major fight
WARNINGS — angst, hurt/comfort, arguments, wilbur’s a heat of the moment asshole
WORD COUNT — 2,078
SONG — sweet creature - harry styles
NOTES — writing this took forever lol sorry i've been gone for like 3 months <3
anthology masterlist | masterlist | navigation
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“Wilbur, you can’t just keep ignoring this!” You’d been trying not to raise your voice for almost an hour now, but it just wasn’t working. 
The man turned away from you and played with the hem of his button up. “I told you, I’ve got it under control.” He spoke at a low volume, keeping his eyes downcast. “I’ll deal with it. I don’t even know if I’m going back next year, okay?” 
“Why not?” You asked, settling on the couch beside your boyfriend. 
“Because, I don’t see a point in it anymore!” His voice raised with every word, until he turned to face you and began shouting. Quickly, he stood up and paced the room. “I don’t see a point in getting a business degree, or working an office job until I die. I don’t want to do that!” 
He made a start for the door, and you stood, following him. “Wilbur, that’s okay! But you can’t keep skipping class, either! You can work out what you want to do and still go to school!” 
“No, I can’t!” He turned, whipping around at lightning speed. You took a step back. “Because I don’t have that kind of money! I can’t afford to go through university twice. Not everyone has the privilege of using their parent’s money to pay for school, unlike you.” 
Wilbur was seething by the time he finished. Your shoulders sagged and your eyes began to well with tears. As much as he was right, it was still painful. He scoffed at your lack of a response, pulling his shoes on and grabbing his jacket from the hook by the door and left you alone in the apartment, silence pressing in on you. 
You managed to bring yourself to the couch, falling onto it with your head in your hands. You knew you shouldn’t have pressured him, but it was his final year of school, and enrollment was coming up soon. You just wanted him to make sure he had made his choice. 
The room felt both too large and too small when you were in it by yourself. At some point, the guilt and regret dragged you down into a lying position, and it didn’t take long for your mind to lull itself to sleep wondering when Wilbur would come back. If he’d come back.
Anxiety stuck like a boulder on your chest, guilt and the unknown creeping in on you like the monsters you were scared of as a child. But this time, there was no one to hold you, to comfort you and tell you it was okay. That you had nothing to worry about. Because you did have something to worry about. And that was where Wilbur had gone. If he was okay. If he was still your boyfriend.
Eventually, the little tears your body was able to produce and the whirring of your constantly changing thoughts brought you to sleep, curled into yourself on the couch with tear-tracks marking your cheeks. 
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By the time you’d woken up that morning, Wilbur still hadn’t come home. The pit in your stomach expanded larger and deeper than you ever thought it could, consuming your entire being as you wondered what his absence was beginning to mean. 
Was it just… over? No goodbyes, no real ending, just… the end? 
It was all you could think about as you forced yourself to go about your normal routine, ignoring the twinge in your back from sleeping on the couch. 
Going out in public felt so odd. None of these strangers knew the state of your relationship, of your mind. Then again, you weren’t sure if you did, either. Still, your routine continued, heading to class as though you weren’t a wreck.
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Wilbur knew just how fucked he was as soon as he stormed out of the house. He knew he didn’t mean any of the bullshit he’d told you, but he was still fuming and couldn’t be at home. At least, not at home with you, at the moment. 
The small, reasonable voice in the back of his head was telling him what an idiot he was being, that his anger would subside and he would regret everything he’d done and everything he was going to do, but he didn’t listen to it. Especially when it told him to march back inside and apologise to you. 
Before he knew it, Wilbur had gotten on a bus that carried him to Canada Water station, and a thousand thoughts were cropping up all at once as he stood on the escalator, too fast for him to process, but all of them underlined with one, booming thought. What had he just done? 
It was all he could think about as he boarded the train headed toward the London Bridge station, letting his feet take him wherever they needed to go. Right now, all he knew was 3 things: The stress of next year being his last year at uni was unbearable, he took said stress out on you even though he swore he’d never do anything like it from the moment he met you, and that he needed to apologise.
But how? By the time he realised it, Wilbur was almost an hour away from you, with no cell service, and only three stops away from King’s Cross. He could picture you now, distraught on the couch like he’d seen his mother so many times after she’d fought with his dad when he was a kid, and it killed him to know that he’d been the one to cause it. That he’d broken the promise he made to himself a very long time ago. 
Even as all these thoughts came to a head in his mind, battling on which one he needed to process first, Wilbur managed to make it to King’s Cross St. Pancras station. And as he bought a ticket from the handler at King’s Cross station, and began the trek to his platform, where a train would eventually come and carry him back to his mother’s embrace, he was mindless. The ticket was cheap, but the train wouldn’t be coming in until later in the morning - all the other trains to Ipswich were full. It was after midnight, and Wilbur wondered if you fell asleep on the couch, or if you ended up wandering into bed at some point during his travels. 
Wilbur ended up finding a bench to sit on at his platform, ticket in hand as he awaited his train. 
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Time seemed to stretch on forever by the time Wilbur’s train arrived at the platform. It was going to be almost completely empty; after all, the only people on the platform were stragglers. His mind felt empty, like he wasn’t fully there. It was like he was torn, half of him on the platform, the other half of him at home. Most of the people waiting for the train had shown up, but even then he felt entirely alone, arms wrapped around himself, clutching the sides of his sweater, desperately trying to think straight. 
It felt like an eternity, his mind running loops, laughing as he tried to get it on a sane path of thought. But when it did, when he finally felt like he had some sense of clarity, the train was breezing past him, pulling into the station, awaiting his boarding. But as he stood from where he sat on the bench he’d been on for ages, he couldn’t bring his feet to move him toward the train. He had the ticket, and he was mere feet away - it was so easy. It should’ve been easy. 
But all he could think about was you. Was the hurt he put in your chest with the words he spoke - however true they seemed to be at the time. All he could feel was regret weighing him down, guilt piercing his lungs and making it harder to breathe. Puncturing his heart and tearing it apart. 
And with tears beginning to build up, Wilbur turned. And as he walked away from the platform, he dropped his ticket in the bin, and checked his watch. You were in class right now, if you even went, and would long be home by the time he got back. But it didn’t matter right now, what mattered to Wilbur was that he made things right. 
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He’d arrived back at your shared flat almost an hour and a half later with shaking hands, unsure of whether you were home or not. His phone died along the northern line, and his leg bounced with anxiety every time he was seated. 
With a slow exhale, Wilbur reached for the door handle. It twisted mercifully in his grasp, and he knew in an instant: you were home. The door creaked, Wilbur cringed. He hadn’t been able to hear any signs of your location in the flat, but the unlocked door told him at least that you were inside. As he stepped inside, he felt almost like a stranger in his own home. It was deafeningly silent, and it felt as though there was no warmth flowing through. Like you’d simply disappeared, and he had, too. 
Still, Wilbur persisted. He slipped off his shoes, shrugged off his jacket, and tiptoed to the bedroom. His confusion began growing with every step, as there was no sign of you, but when he pushed the bedroom door open, only to still find no signs of your presence, it nearly doubled. He made his way to the bed to plug in his phone, and startled himself when he turned around, finding you in the doorway. 
“Where were you?” 
“Y/n, I-”
“Where have you been, Will?” You asked. Your voice tried to sound stern, and your eyebrows remained furrowed, but the crack in your voice and the tears in your eyes told Wilbur everything you didn’t want him to know. “You didn’t come home. I was worried.” 
“I’m sorry.” He breathed, and your heart cracked. 
“No.” You shook your head. “You’re not the only one. I pushed you too far.” 
He followed you as you turned, heading back into the living room. “It wasn’t just you, okay? I have some blame in the fight, too.” Wilbur sighed, watching as you stood by the coffee table, arms crossed, lip between your teeth. “Look, darling, I- I’m sorry. I’m so, so, sorry. I was an idiot. Hell, I am an idiot. But I’m your idiot, and I love you. I was so caught up in leaving that I ended up at King’s Cross somehow. I had a ticket in my hand, and I almost went back home - back to Suffolk - but I didn’t. I didn’t because I hurt you, and it wasn’t fair of me to hurt you the way I did and leave without a word. I’m sorry.” Wilbur’s head bowed, chest almost heaving from the pace with which the words tumbled from his lips.
“You love me?”
Wilbur’s head snapped back up, eyes locking with your soft ones. Had he said that? “I-” his mind ran for miles in the span of a second, processing what he previously said. But it didn’t matter. He did love you. “Yeah, I do. I love you, Y/n.”
“Then you’ll let me take some of the blame,” you said, voice soft as a small smile started stretching across your face. “I pushed too far, Will, and that wasn’t fair of me, either. And I’m sorry, too. I didn’t mean to. I just want what’s best for you, and that’s up to you to decide, not me. I just did it because I love you, too, and I want you to be sure in your decisions.”
Wilbur smiled back at you, not wanting to waste a second as he stepped forward, wrapping his arms around you and shoving his face in the crook of your neck - nose buried in your hair. Without missing a beat, you wrapped your arms around his torso, breathing him in. His warmth spread through you in an instant, and your heart stuttered with emotion. There was no need to worry. 
Wilbur was home. You were his home. 
Tangled up in your limbs, head resting on your chest, calmed by your heartbeat and the fingers in his hair, scratching ever-so-gently at his scalp, was his home. And home is where he spent the rest of the night, watching movies until he fell asleep, comforted by your presence. 
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hba taglist: @z0vamp @blancastans @vanillaarr @chillidaquack
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asexualandalwaysshipping · 1 year ago
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All this discourse with Saltburn may or may not being an eat-the-rich movie takes me back to when people's main criticism of Parasite was that its writing failed by making the Kim family too unlikable.
If you ask me, I feel like if you went into either film thinking them as eat-the-rich films, then it does come off as bad writing. However, neither story works well as an eat-the-rich film because that was never the intention. Sure, class disparity and social inequality are both vital themes but the main point of the EtR genre is about taking down the system, which neither film even tries to accomplish.
Parasite is a criticism of modern capitalism. It was never about pitting the poor against the rich. Bong Joon-Ho said himself, "It's a comedy without clowns and a tragedy without villains." The Kim family aren't meant to be hailed as heroes, and nowhere in the writing does it come off like that. But you end up asking yourself how come this family, who is clearly very capable and skillful, are just barely surviving off the edge of poverty and has no choice but to resort to scamming an entire family just to make a livable wage. Keep in mind they were barely making a profit—the biggest change to their lifestyle was being able to afford slightly better food than usual. Why is it that the poor will go as far as to fight among themselves just to continue leeching of the wealthy? Who benefited aside from the Parks? You could argue that Mr. Kim stabbing Mr.Park in the end was his way of fighting the system, but the film ends with him stuck in the basement, feeding off the house itself, still contributing to the same system that placed him there. EtR would've been more about the negative effects that come from the Parks from hoarding so much wealth that could sustain three entire families, making them deserved of comeuppance. Parasite instead focuses on how it's the system that keeps these class divisions in place.
It's the same with Saltburn. Oliver Quick does, in his own way, challenge the system. But what people forget is that it's not even as though the system ever worked against Oliver—he grew up in an (upper) middle-class household and managed his way into a prestigious university. He may not have been in the 1%, but he was at least in a position where he could go the rest of his life being comfortable. He just got greedy. He wanted more. He wanted to be on the inside. Saltburn isn't a story where a person painstakingly makes his way up the social ladder after starting from nothing whilst making the rich succumb to their sins; there is no justice or vengeance taking place here. Just a single man who manipulated the system to get more than his fair shares, just like his predecessors of Saltburn did. If it was EtR, it would've shed more light on how the Catton family and their wealth do more harm than good, justifying Oliver's actions. And even though they're unlikable, the most harmful thing about them is their performative charity and willful ignorance of the real world. This doesn't mean Saltburn lacks in substance; it's a compelling narrative on obsession and hedonism which introduces an excellent anti-hero, it just doesn't work as an EtR story. And it isn't supposed to.
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ashadowofburnedoutstardust · 4 months ago
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Hello again anon 🐯
Yeah, this bullshitshow has been anything but private
I don't think this man has any comprehension of the damage he has done to his image
As it stands he currently has no audience, no fandom, very little to motivate anyone to follow him around regardless of whatever project he has going
His fans are losing interest?
I started watching the video for the award and lost interest so I have no idea what's been said and I have zero interest in finding out, but then I'm not a Chris Evans fan either, I just stumbled across them after having a weird prophetic dream and following the algorithmic narratives
For the most part, they're pretty awesome people. I didn't like seeing them treated the way they have been so I took what action I could. I'm pretty picky about people and they're the only reason I've stuck around this long
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He needs a better team?
He doesn't just need a new team, he needs a new name, a new house, a new life; the man needs to disappear out of the pure embarrassment he's caused himself and all of those around him
And he's badly embarrassed his fans by proxy for having supported someone with no fucking spine willing to betray even the lies he used to help con them with
(Sorry to be harsh, I haven't had dinner yet and it has been a long day at work)
Is he being honest with himself meaning it wouldn't end up like this?
I do truly wonder if he understands that he has also bought into his own image. Does he think that any part of the persona hes had curated over the years actually reflects who he is?
Christopher, you are nothing like any of the characters you've played and each piece of them that's been published in place of your actual personality traits in articles is simply another lie to yourself
Being private doesn't mean being ashamed?
If hes not he should be. Ashamed. Ashamed. Ashamed.
It ties into the lies he's told himself. Honey blocking people is not going to make them stop talking about you
If you are genuinely so scared that telling the truth about whats gone on then maybe you shouldn't have been doing it to begin with
Christopher if this is truly your choice, to fuck around with 20 somethings at your fucking age then yes you should be ashamed because you are a Hollywood cliche and still emotionally a 15 year old boy, basically a rich pervert and theres no amount of PR cleaning that's going to get you out of that after so badly knocking down the fan support system holding you up and paying your bills
Your team aren't the only ones who have been coasting
It's odd a little for me. I tend to be optimistic by nature and not the "hyper-critical debunking character" I've played so much on my blog so there is that genuine little part of me that despite not being a fan I really do want a positive outcome for him
But let me be clear about this: it's not that I'm hoping for it for him, I'm hoping for it for his fans
When you are strangers on the internet it can be a lot easier to let things out to people when you have a safe place to do it from behind an internet profile. Like I've said before I've talked to thousands of his fans by now and the number of them that were distressed, that needed a safe place to vent is extensive
I may not be a mean person IRL, (I get called bubbly.....a lot lol) but I'm fairly sure after spending so much time consoling so many of them I could summon genuine enough rage to scare him straight, or at the very least some common fucking sense
These days I work in....well......let's generalise and say Healthcare; it's a very people focused job where taking into consideration that you have no idea what's going on in the rest of their life and how that affects their experience when they are in the establishment, the ability to empathise with so many people every day is really quite a natural thing for me despite my general introversion
But there are some things you have to learn to be firm on and is one of the most difficult lessons I had to learn to do my job and help make the environment a better place
I have to say I don't think this man has ever learned how to establish boundaries with literally anyone, no wonder I got the impression he needed a strong woman to tell him what to do
(He really does need a replacement Lisa that tells him what to do, but also one that's actually happy to actually do it no woman should ever let a man put their emotional labour on them)
I've done my best to fuck up their narrative bullshitshow as much as possible as revenge for fucking with the fandom friends I had and lost because of what they did
Indeed anon, good luck Chris. If you never learn to stand your ground in a meaningful way nothing will ever change
Do something different
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object-obsession · 4 months ago
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| NLRP #14 | Random thought
It's been a while since I posted a Not List-Related Post that was neither related to the functioning of this blog, nor related to media that is on this list. In fact, I believe the only Not List-Related Post like that was the first one. However, this one will be like that as well.
If by now you still didn't get it, I like objects as characters. So it probably won't come as a surprise that I have pondered about the most random "what if" questions and more if it concerns objects.
One of those questions was:
"If I were to be an object, what object would I want to be?"
Now before I'm answering for myself, I'm just wondering, what would you, the reader, choose to be?
My final (way too long) answer is down below, at the bottom of this post. Please put yours in the comment section. I'M CURIOUS.
Four conditions:
Assume that you would not suffer by living as an object by default, so not being able to move your "body" would at most be equivalent to you as a human laying/sitting/standing still. It would not be like being paralysed. Because I fully agree that that would be atrocious.
However, being able to move or experience things could help making life more fun, just like the way it does for you in real life.
Assume you would have to be the object for a longer period of time, as long as the objects continues to exist. So not just for a single day. That is, unless you would survive for one day only.
You can't choose a specific object. Where you end up would be random. So you can't say: I want to be the [...] that belongs to [...].
--
***MY ANSWER***
Firstly, I thought which kind of objects I wouldn't want to be. Neither small objects (e.g. keys), nor big objects (e.g. wind turbines) would be optimal, since one can be hidden away forever (stuck in closets, purses, etcetera), whereas the other one would observe everything from a distance - all living creatures would be too small to see and co-experiencing life would be near impossible. You would be living on the sidelines completely and your own life would be passing you by.
First requirement: SIZE > being something about as big humans
Secondly, some objects get used, then thrown away (e.g. shampoo bottles) or replaced (e.g. mobile phones). Both utensils and cutting edge technological objects are not ideal choices. Other objects break easily (e.g. objects made of glass). In other words: you'd die quickly in both scenarios (although with devices, you might get sold and live a second-hand life, but that doesn't sound appealing to me).
Simply put, there should be no reason to be replaced. There should be neither a wish to, nor a need to. Either case could lead to demise.
Second requirement: LIFE EXPECTANCY > the longer, the better
Thirdly, like with big objects, I wouldn't want to be in a position were I don't experience anything at all. I would want to be something that's part of people's life as directly as possible. Preferably on a daily basis.
Even better would be to live within a household, since you would be able to get to know certain people better and deeper understand the conversations and events you'd witness. You could regard yourself as part of a "family" and see a story unfold, much like watching a movie.
Third requirement: POSITION > where are you located, who interacts with you and how often (your surroundings and circumstances)
Fourthly, and I think this is quite self-explanatory, but I wouldn't want to be used for any gross or repulsing activities.
Fourth requirement: PURPOSE > it better be of a pure, useful nature
So these are the four main criteria which I could come up with:
Size: similar to human beings
Life expectancy: long
Position: as close to "life" as possible
Purpose: clean in all ways
It was then that I realized a lot of the object-horror movies revolved around objects that would be close to perfection as an answer!
Evaluating the ones I (partly) saw:
Cars (Christine) are a good size and sees different places - therefore, you would "experience" different things. It often survives for years, too, since people take the effort of fixing broken parts instead of instantly replaces the whole car (due to the high price of a car). And if lucky, you'd end up being a popular old-timer.
Chairs (Sofa Killer), refrigerators (The Refrigerator) and beds (Death Bed) also could have a relatively high life expectancy. In my house, the chairs have only been replaced a couple of times (and I believe they were sold, not disgarded), our refrigerator only once (merely because it stopped working) and our beds never - not even once.
Elevators (The Lift and its remake Down/The Shaft) perhaps have the longest life expectancy out of all of the previously mentioned. They don't just get replaced with a snap in the fingers, because the whole building was structured around them in a specific way. Elevators also get used on a regular basis and are part of some people's daily life.
However...
A car could be stuck in a garage for months and is only used for traveling. Therefore, you would miss out on many parts of "life". Chairs get sitted on by whoever would sit down, which I can't imagine liking and let's not even start about the things a bed would witness.
The best options to me would be objects big as humans, rarely replaced, part of life and not involved in too weird activities, which counts for various investments that are placed in school and offices: elevators, vending machines, expensive desks... you get my point.
But still, you would be part of life - or better said: someone's life - uf you were in a house. After all, at school/work, you would only see a couple of minutes of people's life. Maybe multiple times a month, week or even a day, but still, by far, you wouldn't pick up much of what is going on in everyone's life. Not more than what you would in a home, that is. Things usually stay superficial, I feel like, making your own experiences less exciting. Little to no secrets and only specific sides of people (school- or work-attitude).
That being said, I thought a dinner table would be a neat choice (located in a living room/kitchen, so you could listen to a family's dinner-time stories and getting to know them from a figurative distance), but my last preference is being some sort of electronic appliance, so therefore, I would choose to be...!
🎆 A REFRIGERATOR 🎆
Obviously I'm too kind to be the ones from the horror movies (lmao), maybe the other media refrigerators are better examples, but yeah.
That's my choice.
Sorry if you don't like a simplistic, anti-climatic answer like this that was right in front of you all along, but it just is my answer.
Refrigerators are the perfect size, have alright life duration for an object and most of the times, a good positioning! One more thing that I haven't mentioned yet, is that some objects, are objects people can really love. Cars were a better example of this (since some people literally get attached to a car itself), but I mean, people love food, right? So I'd be happy to help! A great purpose, indeed. The only disadvantage would be not being able to move (as opposed to cars and elevators), but the indirect interaction with people - being able to co-experience lives and be part of it - makes up the lack of motion.
Still, my second choice would probably an elevator. Now if the conditions were different and I would be an object for a short time only, I would probably go for a bus (seems fun) or tower crane (seems cool). If I could choose a very specific object, I would probably choose to be the violin of a magnificent violinist (being able to make humans feel things, making them emotional, as an object would be impressive and lovable). These choices are mostly based on the same criteria, so I will spare you from an immense explanation again.
So that's that. I literally wrote an essay-long explanation. Wow.
Truth be told, most of this, I had already written somewhere when I spoke about this jokingly with a friend. It was in Dutch, though, so I did have to translate it all. Luckily, I can type and translate pretty fast.
Well, then. Byeeeeee.
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mbti-notes · 1 year ago
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Anon wrote: Hello. I am INJ 18F. I've been feeling stuck in a collie for quite a while now. Two years ago, after graduating from high school, I entered a specialty that I now hate. Then, wanting to get my father's approval, I convinced myself that it was the right thing to do, despite the fact that I was already thinking about what sphere I wanted to connect my life with. I convinced myself that this was just a temporary hobby and I didn't know where I wanted to go, so it would be better to go where my father wanted me to go.
Now the fact that I made the wrong choice then became too obvious. I am serious about the areas that I was interested in then. I continue to study them and my life is very closely connected with these areas. And, unfortunately, I spend too much time on what I'm interested in. This affects my basic training. And this forces me to make a choice, because I cannot move in two directions. I have to either take my hobbies to the negative, which would be a literal betrayal of myself, for me, and therefore I can't afford to do it, or I have to take my studies to the negative. But this will also have an extremely negative impact, both on my relationship with my parents and on my life in the future. After college, I will have to work in my profession, because they will not be able to provide for me for so long. Thus, I have to choose between my real future and what I am so sincerely devoted to and what I am interested in.
Now I'm stuck in a collectible consisting of escaping from thoughts about my distant future, because I don't see anything positive in it, self-hatred, the specialty in which I study and a feeling of helplessness. I constantly feel sorry for myself and do nothing. At some point I tried to start acting, but I had no real direction and, as a result, I returned to my condition. I do not know what I am striving for when the future that I wanted and that I am dreaming about now seems so inaccessible to me now.
I could combine training in specialization and my hobbies, or first study in specialty, and then study in the field that interests me, but I absolutely do not like this prospect. It seems chaotic and useless to me. And I think I still want to believe that there are other ways, although the facts say otherwise. And now I feel that I hate the reality in which I found myself, because instead of striving for a personal goal, I have to go with the flow and adapt to circumstances. I honestly don't know what to do or think. Do you have any advice?
----------------------
If you don't know your type, you should do a proper type assessment, because it could be very relevant to your struggles. Without knowing your exact type, you limit my ability to explain things to you.
As far as I can tell, the underlying issue here is a lack of independence. Three important aspects to independence are:
reliance: the degree to which you depend on others for regulating yourself, managing your affairs, making good judgments and decisions, or achieving your goals
autonomy: feeling motivated to direct your own life and exercising the right to make your own choices
volition: being able to act in accordance with your own needs, desires, interests, and values
You still rely on your parents for approval? You don't feel free to make your own choices? You don't act in your own best interests? While you are physically an adult, you are far from being an adult in spirit.
Your situation can be broken down into three issues:
(1) It seems your self-concept is inflexible. Self-concept refers to how you perceive and define yourself. Many kids don't really know what they want to be when they grow up, so it's normal for them to look to other people for ideas. It's not something to regret or feel ashamed about.
As you accumulate life experience, you should be learning more and more about yourself, eventually reaching a point where nobody should know better than you about what is best for your future. Becoming more and more self-aware, your self-concept should change and evolve throughout life.
But when you behave in a way that interrupts the evolution into adulthood, it means getting stuck in a childish state of dependence, so how will you grow into a self-reliant adult?
(2) It seems you haven't learned self-advocacy yet. Self-advocacy means being able to: i) communicate your needs/desires/goals, ii) defend your personal boundaries/rights/freedoms, and iii) stand up for your beliefs/values as needed to promote your interests, now and into the future.
Of course, the first step is to know what you need/want, where your personal boundaries lie, what your rights/freedoms are, and what your beliefs/values are. It's very difficult to act in accordance with who you really are when you don't know who you really are.
You seem to have reached a point in life where you know enough about yourself to have strong feelings and opinions about the direction you ought to take, which raises the question of why you haven't properly advocated for yourself. Your parents would not want you to live a life of misery, would they? If your ideas about your life differ from what they have in mind for you, then you need to communicate with them seriously about it rather than just get stuck in helplessness assuming the worst.
You seem to have trapped yourself in a false dichotomy of having to choose between yourself or your parents, but that's not how healthy relationships should work. There is no need for painful sacrifice as long as both parties are being reasonable and open to compromise. I understand that some parents are more stubborn than others, but such a challenge should be treated as an opportunity to learn better communication skills and how to express yourself with greater conviction and persuasiveness.
We all have external pressures to deal with and we all experience outside voices telling us what to do or who we should be. Being independent doesn't mean you stop caring about what other people think, rather, it means you reflect carefully and make informed and objective decisions about what kind of person you ought to be in order to live your life meaningfully in the world.
At the end of your life, it is really only you who must answer for the decisions you've made; you will be the one to feel the pride or regret most acutely. If you were to die in the next hour, would you feel satisfied by the decisions you've made for yourself? If not, stop wasting time and get on with changing how you make decisions.
When you keep withering under the fear of disapproval, it means you don't recognize your autonomy, so when will you be able to face the authorities in your life as an equal and speak up for yourself?
(3) It seems you suffer from low self-confidence. Self-confidence is related to the degree to which you feel in control of things. Different people have different reasons for low self-confidence. It is sometimes related to Ni misuse and imagining that problems are much worse than they really are, then emotions spiral and you lose all sense of control. Without a clear head, it's hard to analyze situations objectively and make good decisions.
At 18, you probably still suffer from some of the negative aspects of adolescence, such as being impractical, naive, or overemotional. I definitely remember my (over-the-top) way of thinking at 18, but despite how things seem at that age, career is not a life-or-death decision. It is quite common for people to change careers, perhaps many times throughout life, sometimes even late into middle age. Many adults I have been acquainted with tell me about "a past life" in this or that career they gave up because they realized it wasn't for them.
Looking at the bigger picture, to realize a career is not for you before you've even finished school is a bloody blessing. It's so much easier to start over at 18 than at 30 or 40. While I understand that finances might present a challenge for you, it's not an impossibility. Plenty of students find a way to pay in part or in full for their own education. You could work part-time and/or take out a loan. Perhaps if you communicated and negotiated properly with your parents, you could come to some kind of compromise with them.
The point is big problems can always be broken down into small steps of progress. Where there's a will, there's a way. The question is: How much hard work and difficulty are you willing to endure to get the life you really want? A meaningful life isn't an easy one. An easy life is usually the path of least resistance, the one that allows you to avoid confronting all the deeper problems that keep plaguing you. So far, you have mostly chosen the easy path, and now you're starting to realize it means forfeiting growth and getting stuck in a rut. Not so easy, after all, right?
When you have a bad habit of blowing problems out of proportion, being challenged by obstacles will always tempt you to give up and yearn for something easier, so how can you maintain enough will power to act in accordance with your needs, desires, interests, and values?
.
It's not my place to tell people how to live life. I can't tell you what the best course of action is; it's something you need to reflect on and decide for yourself. The only thing I can tell you is the way you're looking at the situation is too small and rigid. You're trapped by your own negative beliefs about how things "should" be or "will" end up. It is your choice whether to open up and broaden your perspective.
There is no need to be so pessimistic about the situation, but restoring hope means learning to have more patience, understanding, and self-compassion, i.e., to grant yourself permission to live a life that is different than originally expected.
The relationship with your parents ought to change with each new phase of your life, but it will only change for the better when you're willing to put in the effort to work out your issues with them.
There are always more possibilities for handling a situation as long as you exercise more imagination, but seeing new possibilities requires you to conquer the fears that keep you too fixated on the worst-case scenarios.
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