#and get that revenge and closure. i'm glad he got that

[difeisheng]

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[butchbarneygumble]

Imagine how I must feel as one of the only fans of Mighty Magiswords. You know. A headcanons-and-fanfic kind of fan. I even cosplayed Prohyas once.

Of course, it's nothing compared to what the actual victims went through... I'm fine. But it still felt like a part of my identity has been permanently soured. I don't want to seem like I somehow have it worse, that's not my intention. Nothing bad happened to me personally. I'm only posting my own side of how I deal with the situation, to get some closure myself and show solidarity with the victims.

I don't admire him anymore, and that's putting it lightly.

Full story under cut. Content warning for non-graphic discussion of csa.

The news came to me from my ex-but-still-friend. He told me privately, out of nowhere, just dropped it on me. Like, "Hey, sorry to tell you, but the guy you like got arrested for csa". However, I am glad he told me rather than me having to find out on my own.

The news hit me, and I felt nothing in my body. I usually would get this painful fight-or-flight all through my body whenever I read something that upset me, something I've been training myself to get better with. But right now? I just felt like... "huh. That happened." It helped a lot that Magiswords wasn't my fixation of the moment. And like... it's been like I've been slipping away from it. Like I didn't need it anymore.

More and more people were talking about him, and it wasn't positive. Who? Kyle.

I talked to him. Personally, like many people did. He never acted weird to me. I admired him. I loved his art, sent him physical fanart, all that stuff. I knew more than one person said he was not trustworthy but hey, he made a show that saved my life, so it was a constant struggle between feeling like I had to pick sides. I was going through hell by virtue of my dad being terminally sick and needing constant care, so I was gonna ignore the red flags and enjoy my silly sword show that brought me such joy.

Even if as time went on it started get harder and harder.

But you know what a certain depressed horse show said? When you're wearing rose coloured glasses, red flags just look like flags.

I now think dodged a bullet.

What emotions do I feel? Betrayal. Anger. Disgust. Disappointment.

The irony about it all. The sheer painful irony of blacklisting somebody for *drawings*, and then going behind everybody's back to actually hoard *actual* csa, and revenge porn, and all sorts of nasty stuff. For the record: there is nothing wrong with being put off or disgusted by specific sorts of drawings. But the irony here is what's most painful to me. I do not like people using this as a "gotcha" for either side of this tired argument. It's disrespectful to the actual victims.

People say I can easily seperate art from the artist if I want to but... right now I don't think I want to. He's in every pore of its identity. I do not want to talk or think about Magiswords right now, and I don't know if I ever will again.

It meant so much to me. Prohyas felt like Me. Being a goofy capable adult who doesn't stop collecting things he likes just cuz he's an adult. I thought I was trans for a while and the euphoria of relating to Prohyas helped that. Then he got lowkey confirmed nonbinary and I was over the moon.

It was good. Emphasis on "was".

And to the man himself I have one thing to say: you're another one in a long history of cartoon artists who end up being unsavoury, slimy people, taking advantage of young people, especially girls, in the animation industry. Not something to be proud of. I know we talked and you seemed perfectly okay to me, personally. All I can think is thank god it never went beyond casual chats.

I guess I can finally say I never liked the joke about Vambre not liking pants. Sure, sensory issues exist, but I doubt that was the intention of the design. I have deleted my sideblog where I chronicled ooc screencaps of the show and deleted my little spotify playlist of songs that reminded me of the show. I don't want to finish my longfic where Prohyas and Flonk fell in love anymore. I can't even change it into ocs because it's just so ingrained in the show's lore. So yeah, there's that.

I'll be fine. When the news hit I took it surprisingly well. I was going to an Alestorm concert and it was the most fun I had in ages. So yeah, I've got Christopher Bowes and His Plate of Beans to fill the void of comedy music. Was fixating on Simpsons already so there's that in terms of cartoons. I'm fine.

All I can say is my heart goes out to all the victims, and I'm deeply sorry I didn't see you sooner. I hope you can heal and have some semblance of closure now that he's gotten arrested. My heart goes out to all of you and again, I am so so sorry. I wish you all the love and healing.

[carverl]

I want to talk about Raoul Silva AKA my favourite Bond villain and one of my favourite villains in all of cinema and why that is;

Silva (or Tiago Rodriguez) is a character I find endlessly fascinating, his charming personality and demeanor lead to him being incredibly likable from the start and how he speaks to Bond in a way that's friendly and honest yet with still a hint of menace is almost hypnotic to watch on screen. Javier Bardem plays this role to perfection and I feel he doesn't get enough credit for this performance, he is both a camp delight and incredibly threatening when he needs to be and I love every second he's on screen.

His design is also perfect, I don't know how they found a look that screams 'Bond Villain' but this is it, the way his suit is the inverted colour scheme of Bond's is a neat detail and his dyed hair and eyebrows are subtley off putting with how wrong it somehow feels hinting at that he seems well put together there is something off with this man.

The way he acts as the perfect dark reflection to Bond is so interesting to me, sure there have been plenty of characters like that in the film series before Silva i.e Red Grant, Scaramanga and Alec Trevelyan. But none of them are as well utilized as Silva in my opinion with how both he and Bond were betrayed by M and left to die but in Silva's case he went through literal hell whereas Bond just got shot. It's not hard to imagine Bond going rogue on a revenge mission to kill M if he were put through the torture Silva was. Another element to this is how Silva employs Bond's own methods to attack MI6, he attempts to seduce the closest ally to his target, deliberately gets himself captured to infiltrate his target's base to kill them easier and uses their own tech against them. All trademark tactics Bond uses against his villains but turned on him truly making it feel like Silva is three steps ahead of everyone.

The tragedy of Silva is so well handled, he's someone you can't help but feel bad for while watching Skyfall. All he really wants is revenge on the woman who left him to die, a woman he saw as a maternal figure. Like, yeah I get it and I love how Bond himself seems to understand and respect Silva with moments where it seems like he understands his pain. He's one of the few antagonists Bond has gone up against where it feels like he really respects them and probably doesn't even really want to kill him. And the fact that at the end of the film Silva wins, he gets what he wants and tbh, I'm kind of glad. Not that I hate M but it's just nice that Silva gets some closure after a lifetime of being denied that.

[ramonag-if]

To the anon who understood dislike for half-siblings. My parents divorced when I was nine. I stayed with my mom. And through my adolescence I tried to stay in touch with my dad. It was painful for all the parties involved. When I was twelve my dad remarried and had another daughter. Then got divorced again. And fought for his other child. So that she stayed with him and not with her mother. I'm in my thirties now. And, yes, I understand my father. I know that the dad i remember and had as a child is not the same parent my half-sister has. He's older, maturer, smarter (and stopped drinking... That much, at least). I understand everything. But the little child in me would never let me forgive and reconcile with him or my half-sister even if I'd wanted to. That little girl that just can't shake off the feeling of being unneeded. Being replaced. So, yeah, I didn't blink an eye when I told Salyra to kindly fuck off. And didn't agree to meet her new family. And had a great satisfaction in it, as that is something I had not an opportunity to do in my real life as I was much younger than MC. So, childhood dream of a little revenge came true.

And thank you, wonderful author, for this opportunity and the story you create in general. You have no idea how close to home it hit. All sorts of absent emotionally and/or physically parents. I've had it all.

And sorry for this huge and very personal message. Guess that previous anon's ask also hit home and stroke something in me. All the people who openly dislike or just don't want to interact with Rana - you are valid. Whatever your reasons are. We are allowed to be petty and unreasonable.

I'm really sorry you had to go through so much pain, Anon ❤️️ I'm no stranger to real angst in my real life, so I'm glad that the game could provide some 'closure' that you couldn't find in your situation. I knew it would be important for players to react how they want based on their feelings without being pressured to forgive Salyra or to get punished for not forgiving her.

Be as petty and as unreasonable as you want - unless it's got anything to do with the war, you're not going to have any consequences (besides maybe a decrease in Sal's relationship stats!).

Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

[tojiwrd]

hana talking about how she doesn’t believe in marriage and gojo agreeing with her by breaking his engagement with reader 🥴

only for them to get engaged 3 months after they met and marrying shortly after…even if mr. gojo suggested the marriage so what? you are marrying out of duty? even if you supposedly don’t believe in it? make it make sense

pls tell me gojo senior will eventually find out what his son did to reader…if gojo was a man and told his parents he was engaged to reader his parents would have been happy and (don’t know if gojo senior would have gone to prison) the company would still be on their hands 🫣🤭👁️

geto really being delulu like his bestie, like cmon your bestie broke one of your friends’ heart and instead of give them closure by telling the truth bc she SEEMED to be doing fine you acted clueless 🤦‍♀️

@ gojo if someone you loved did what you did to reader (he broke and lied to her), would really NOT hate them specially AFTER waiting almost two years before apologising 🫥🫥

gojo why can’t you accept reader could hate(s) you…something is sus. aw pls don’t tell me, @ gojo, the honeymoon/infatuation phase is fading away 🤭🥴😏

him saying he didn’t want reader to think shw wasn’t important and he didn’t move on quickly…hello? do you hear yourself? THATS what you actually did!!

we need girlboss reina to make her appearance and spill everything unconsciously (not so unconsciously) to hana - knowing the truth by a third party hurt best 😈 - without forgetting the part where gojo still can’t seem to accept that yn could hate him 🤥

patiently waiting for you (author) to serve us a juicy batman revenge 🫢😏

ugghh i want to figuratively k word gojo at the moment 😤😤

question: did gojo leave when reader and geto got the confrontation or was he still in. the gallery?

ps. my toxic trait still wants yn x gojo endgame lmaooo

pps. sorry for the log ask

gojo and hana are literally the silliest and goofiest ppl i've ever wrote about. girly got her heart broke and expressed her feelings and gojo got to sympathetic,, put himself in her shoes and was like YEAH!!

mhmmm gojo said he didn't turn it down because he felt like that marriage ending would be better than if reader and him got married and had to end. it's literally pathetic !! and every man has done this at least once i'm not putting it up for debate. 🥺please, i have to end this or else i'll hurt u more in the future wahhh🥺

there will definitely be family drama!! these kids r going wild atp we need some interventions soon

geto is genuinely such a himbo like i love and hate him in this. he genuinely thought he was doing the right thing too like the audacity of him. but yeah a part of him definitely did it, even subconsciously, to protect gojo in a way even though i don't think he agreed with gojo's actions.

HONEYMOON PHASE FADING AWAY HAS ME CRYINGGGG. but nah fr he's acting too much n saying too much while having a lil ring on his finger right ???

i adore reina reina will be making several appearances i'm glad you are on the same wavelength. like my lil oc girly is out for blood every second we see her

answer!! : yeah, he was like a kicked puppy and left w his tail between his legs. so he definitely has no clue that yn literally went through hell and back bc of him

ps: i don't blame you gojo is so delicious like yesssss break up with me bc ur silly and stupid and your emotions have been stunted since you were in middle school yesss

pps: NEVER apologize for this i love reading these n i love u mwah kisses thank you so so much for reading it!! so glad you're enjoying it <3

[snobgoblin]

thinking about like, so Cyborg Noodle is introduced to Next Gen once Cyborg Tucker gains sentience right. she wants revenge on Murdoc and she wants to collect any robot that might have been discarded or hurt by him and give them the loving home she never had. but the thing is- Cyborg Tucker only gains sentience a while after Murdoc is already dead. so Cyborg Noodle really never got to have her closure, her big confrontation she was hoping for. so I'm thinking, once Cy Tuck explains to her what Tucker is doing (going to Hell to try to get him back) he's actually really hoping he can do it. she knows she should just be glad he's dead but... she's not done with him yet. she thinks she needs him back so she can finally get some closure, just to let him know how much he hurt her, at least. but she was too late

[gorogues]

Spoilers for this week’s episode of Stargirl!

Jordan Mahkent has plunged back into his life, and he's putting up a good front of peace and love. Surprisingly, he's admitted to the killing of Crusher and Paula, but only after he was accused of it and there probably wasn't any room for denial. He claims their deaths were a regrettable accident which was unavoidable because they'd surprised him. Otherwise, he says he wants to put all the strife and anger behind him, crediting Courtney with helping him turn over a new leaf. He knows Mike killed him (and tells his family this, so Cameron now knows), but claims to have forgiven him. But everyone outside his family -- even Courtney -- is understandably skeptical and hostile given what he just did to the Crocks.

Jordan's parents are thrilled to have him back and Cameron's glad too, though Cameron's still got some lingering questions and anger that his dad let everyone believe he was dead. (In fairness to Jordan, it seems likely that he's telling the truth about not being sentient as his body was re-forming from water. But who knows how long he was watching everyone and not letting his family know he was alive). Cameron wants to start his relationship with Courtney again but she's quietly reluctant, still bothered by whatever his dad's up to. Jordan tells her that he's fine with the two of them having a relationship.

But Sylvester hits the roof when he learns Jordan's back, as Jordan had killed him and much of the JSA ten years ago. He destroys one of the buildings at the farm the Ultra-Humanite's been hiding in, and swears he'll execute Icicle. He puts the burden on Courtney by asking to use the Staff and essentially seeking her blessing, which is a terrible thing to do to another person, particularly a young one. And Courtney continues to be torn, because as much as she distrusts Jordan, setting out to kill someone is not okay with her…and she's thinking of maybe recruiting Jordan to fight against the Ultra-Humanite. Pat and Sylvester had said earlier that the U-H and the ISA had been enemies because the ISA wouldn't let the U-H join, and obviously the Crocks won't be there to help in the upcoming fight.

At least Artemis has some closure in her parents' disappearance, but that doesn't make the grief and rage any easier. She's also staying with the Whitmore-Dugan family like Yolanda and Sylvester are, and Barbara gently comforts her. Barbara and Pat were also distressed by the Crocks' deaths because of their growing friendships, and it's even tougher on Barbara because Jordan's back as her boss and she knows firsthand what a monster he is. She holds it together quite well, despite the shock.

The end of the episode finds Jordan wandering alone through a rural area, and then the Ultra-Humanite comes through the trees to join him. Jordan says it's time to get the plan started, so he and the U-H are thus working together and aren't enemies. Which is entirely expected, so maybe the show should have established the purported enmity between the U-H and ISA earlier, to build up potential tension between the two sides. But regardless, there clearly isn't any enmity now, and Jordan is almost certainly lying about wanting love and forgiveness. Does he simply want revenge, or is there something deeper at play? How far will he go, and will Cameron side with him or Courtney? Obviously these questions will have to be answered in the final two episodes.

And I wonder who's going to fight with the JSA in the finale: Artemis and Cindy are pretty good bets, but who knows if Shade and the twins (possibly with Sandy in tow?) will appear. Maybe even Helix will join in. It should be a pretty good fight, and wildcards like Ragevester and Cameron should shake things up a bit and make it more complicated. Plus, there's the potential question of Sylvester being the Ultra-Humanite's pawn, and what that might mean for the battle. We've got to wait two weeks for the next episode, but I'm really looking forward to it.

[monstersliveinthemirror]

The Guts Write up Nobody asked for

1. Out the gate with beautiful vocals in All American Bitch. The acoustic intro is interesting and catchy, but when it hits with drums and electric guitar, the song picks up so much. I love her almost punk sound in the chorus, especially the second chorus. This one definitely hits pop rock and it's incredible. The drop to the acoustic at the end is -chefs kiss-.

2. Bad idea right? Is THAT bitch. The sound is incredible, but let's talk lyrics. "My brain goes Ahhhh" is such a mood when you think about that ex you aren't over. "Yes I know that he's my ex but can't two people reconnect I only see him as a friend biggest lie I ever said" This whole track is just a love song to making bad decisions around exes. Let me just say it brings back every single time Alex showed back up in my life and we would be "friends" until the whole line of "I just tripped and fell into his bed..." SONICALLY this song is interesting and upbeat, it's just so good.

3. I don't really have much new to say about Vampire- what a beautiful song about a fucked up time in her life. I love the interesting music and changes in the song. It's catchy, it's just good. It's been good since it came out.

4. Let's talk about the bisexual anthem lacy. It's yet another song for the girlies who don't understand the difference between jealousy and attraction AKA me in high school. The lyrics in this one are silly to me, I think describing skin as puff pastry is so ridiculous, but it's such a vibe for being a teenager and thinking someone is perfect and being jealous. "I despise my rotton mind and how much it worships you" IS NOT A STRAIGHT THING.

5. This one immediately starts off gritty and is almost whiplash following Lacy. The chorus has such a neat and interesting sound and I'm so glad she took a risk with the punk leaning sound for this album. This is another song that makes this album the pop rock genre. I love how upbeat it is, it's a bop and a dance around your room with headphones pretending you're the lead singer of a band song. I will say I don't love the part where it slows down, but I'm glad it picks up and doesn't end with a slower part.

6. Making the bed physically hurt me. I feel personally attacked by the lyrics. I'm not sure I can talk about this. "Push away all the people who know me the best, but it's me who's making the bed. I'm so tired of being the girl that I am every good thing is turning to something I dread, I'm playing the victim so well in my head, but it's me who's been making the bed." Fucking ouch okay. "I got the things I wanted it's just not what I imagined" 😭 it's a perfect mid album song, slowing it down for a minute after lots of energy.

7. I don't have words for logical. Love song to the girls who have been in toxic relationships with men who take advantage of the ones who fall hard. This is an Alex song and I hate it but "you've got me thinking two plus two equals five and I'm the love of your life" I mean come on the WAY people convince you of lies. "Why do I do this, I look so stupid" is the moment of realizing that you were hoodwinked but somehow you still feel for them even though you know better. The whole outro of blaming yourself is just heartbreaking and I am unwell right now okay.

8. Alright back to it with some drums and gritty sound. This one has a great vibe. The chorus is everything to me. Upbeat I hate this man I'm gonna fuck up his life, the break up song for us girlies who knows we aren't gonna get closure but like we're ready to take it. The whole vibe of I want to make him hurt....but with the confusing aspect of wanting to make him feel better by being the one he turns to...nope I want revenge except I want him back FUCK. The perfect song for that confusing part of the break up where you're almost ready to move on but not really.

9. Love is embarrassing is a mood lol. The dumb shit we do when we think we're in love, the way we don't really have boundaries or know what we'll put up with yet. I appreciate the sound and how catchy the song is. I also love the pretty abrupt ending.

10. Alright, slow it back down. We've got the signature acoustic and Olivia's beautiful voice for this one. It seems like it's going to crescendo, but it doesn't quite get there. Lyrically, "I fantasize about a time you're a little fucking sorry" got me. "How could anybody do the things you did so easily" I am unwell. This song made me emotional about a fucking break up that happened almost a year ago. Fuck this. I am hurt. ~you know I can't let it go, I've tried I've tried I've tried for so long~ and it just ending...ugh so good.

11. Pretty isn't pretty starts strong. The sound is good, the lyrics are honest. It just addresses growing up a girl and developing self worth issues and is probably one of my favorite songs here because of the topic. We drop from worrying about relationships and just address what it's like when it feels like nothing is ever good enough. It's not my favorite based on sound, but it's good enough.

12. Ending on a sad note, I see. This one is a coming of age song and not understanding there is so much good ahead. You're just nineteen babe you've got so many better days to come. But at twenty eight I felt this. It's saying goodbye to younger days, "they all say that it gets better, it gets better but what if I don't" screams mental illness to me but I'm probably projecting my own issues. God I love how it picks up because it's such a big feeling. She did a great job of using music to set the mood in this one. Also the outro, the baby sounds the mom sounds just God fucking damn.

[frogs-in3-hills]

dgs case 2 thoughts babeyyy. oops it's long this time

sooo no trial this case!! very interesting!! personally it felt like things got a little boring quite often, maybe because there were so few areas to explore? and i think the pacing was, much like the first case, a little sluggish at times. however i still think it felt wayy better than the aai games, which also had no trials. i would love to have seen a version of aai more like this case, with "argument" portions removed and the logic system more similar to the dance of deduction. overall i am really glad they let the story do what it needed to do instead of trying to squeeze a trial in there, it would have felt really forced considering the setting

i am sooooo obsessed with the dance of deduction by the way,, i think out of all the unique investigative functions throughout the series (magatama, perceive, mood matrix, etc) this might be my favorite. the conceit of it is so creative with ryuunosuke having to course correct using his observation skills, and it actually makes me appreciate sholmes' presence a lot more since it offers a lovely bit of insight into his character: you can kind of see where he's going with everything, but it's his vivid imagination, not stupidity, that leads him to get details wrong-- and those details cause his deductions to spiral out of control and miss the mark. he's so creative, but he doesn't even stop to think that the world might not operate with that same level of creativity. i just think that is so charming wtf. and while it does seem a little too easy i imagine it will get more difficult later, and mechanically i think the visuals really spice things up and i love seeing them take full advantage of the 3d models. i think its a really excellently designed system

speaking of taking advantage of 3d models can i just say i love how the settings are built and how the characters take up that space??? because i looovve the way it creates a more dynamic space and feels more like the characters exist in their environment, while still keeping true to the visual novel style. all that is to say i'm so impressed by the actual game design here and i'm really excited to continue playing through it

anyways i guess i should like. talk about the plot. i guess. hi this case was like super fucked up, but like, in a very unique way?? genuinely, the conclusion to this case felt more like a danganronpa trial than it did an ace attorney case. and the fact that this random 15 yo kid accidentally killed this guy for NO reason?? that's heartbreaking dude, it makes me wonder a lot about what asougi's true goal was and how it relates to the concept of revenge and closure. bc what dgs is telling us with this case is that the truth isn't necessarily all that rewarding, right? knowing who killed asougi doesn't make me or ryuunosuke or susato feel better, and knowing he wasn't planning to reveal pavlova's identity makes her feel worse. even before that, learning that he literally just broke his neck due to an unlucky fall only invites this keen sense of unfairness. there's no closure or revenge or schadenfreude, just a little girl who made a really horrible, but ultimately sympathetic mistake.

i said last post that i felt asougi might be one of those seeking revenge types, or something like that, what with his connection to family honor as well as his obvious ambition. so i can't help but wonder if, when we finally figure out what it was that asougi needed to do in london, ryuunosuke has to face a choice: is he really going to continue his friend's legacy? after all, he's the one holding the sword now, which isn't just symbolic of a man's soul or his honor or whatever, it's a weapon. why did asougi really want to bring something like that so badly?

anyways aaaaaug susato. shes great i love her. no crazy thoughts abt her yet but i love her

anyways i think thats about all i wanted to say there, i liked this case a lot and i'm really excited to keep playing ^_^ semester doesn't start back up for a few more weeks so i'll probably have plenty of time to do so

[jodilin65]

I'm looking forward to trying the AI they're going to add to Alexa once it's available.

Today, we're going to remove the ugly black MLV from the exterior wall in the bedroom. Soundproofing is pointless unless you do 100% of the room with professional-grade materials, and we don't have the money for that right now. The question is whether or not it's worth saving up for. The honker's return will help me decide that.

We went to the pool yesterday at about 9:30, and the water was surprisingly chilly. We saw bubbles coming up from something at the bottom of the pool every few feet. I'm guessing it was something to cool the water. I get that this is Florida, but come on. Pools shouldn't be chilly. It's probably warmer in the afternoon, so we'll go down there (not today since they're barbecuing), but probably tomorrow after he donates.

Coincidentally, the weather has been drier as I get onto days. I knew it would be. At least we've only got about a month left of storm season, even if it means trading it in for the snowbirds. I hate the snowbirds, but they're less of a threat to my sleep than the storms. I also like it better when the mowers drop down to every other week.

Toni will be back in a week. I don't think the party girl has been here for a while either. I haven't seen or heard her or her husband.

Little by little, I've been revising my bio, as I might have mentioned before. Most of it was written in 2002, and there are hundreds of pages to go through. Let's just say it's brought back some very unpleasant memories—things I'd forgotten about, like when I was in the state hospital in Northampton, Dotty, Vermont, Valleyhead, the way my mother gambled with my life due to her selfishness, and her lack of compassion when I starved myself at the beach, etc. So many times in life, a part of me was sorry I didn't die that day or when I threw myself out the window nearly a decade later. Regardless, I'm glad I wrote all this when I was still young because one's memory isn't what it used to be at my age, and I wouldn't be able to remember a lot of it if I were just starting to write it now.

I felt so much anger reading back on things I went through that at one point I thought to myself, if there is such a thing as an afterlife, I would want to slowly torture the shit out of all those who really screwed me over. It wouldn't be about closure or therapy—it would be pure revenge.

This has reinforced the fact that it's important not to reach out to those who don't reach out to me and to avoid toxic people at all costs. Anyone who's ever displayed any kind of vengefulness, or who is overly emotional, sensitive, hypocritical, judgmental, paranoid, controlling, accusatory, defensive, dramatic, or dishonest should be kept at a distance. "Third-party" people can stay out of my life as well—those who go to others with our problems. I understand the need for an unbiased opinion at times, but there are times to involve others, and there are times to keep it between you and the person or people involved.

[marshmallowprotection]

Hey, there's something I've been thinking about the NE and GE of Ray's AE.

As we know, one of the biggest differences between the two endings is the change of characters talking to Saejoong; in GE it's MC and Saeran and in NE it's Rika and V. As you mentioned before, Saeran misses the chance to hear from his father in NE, the missing piece to close this story, plus we don't get to know what Saeyoung thinks of his father (With that dialogue it still makes clear the message that you don't have to forgive someone to move on) and there remains the uncertainty of how each RFA member's life will go on after that....

Although the proposal scene is beautiful 💖💖💖💖 and I liked seeing Rika face her demons and accept her mistakes.

Anyway, what I want to say is that .... Do you think it would be possible for Saeran personally, after this ending, to try to go to prison to see Saejoong just to find out what he needs to know? The reasons why that man is the way he is, what made him what he is now?

Hmm... I think it would be harder to talk to Saejoong here, so maybe he's wasting his time because he refuses to talk, I don't think that man wants to see his face anymore.

Oh, I can tell you right now that Saeyoung will not hear Saejoong talk. He will not listen to Saejoong. Saeyoung was literally hunting him for revenge non-stop the second that the news broke that Saejoong was on the run. He and Vanderwood were looking for him, and he wasn't about to stop. He wanted to be the one to capture him. In V's AE, he kidnaps Rika from the police with the intention of getting information from her and then likely getting rid of her if it came down to it. Like, if Jumin, Jaehee, and Vanderwood wouldn't have found Saeyoung, I'm not sure I can confirm what wouldn't become of Rika.

Saeyoung doesn't forgive. He doesn't forget. He's not Saeran in this sentiment. He cuts people off when they burn him and he doesn't go and look back. That's what he needs for his emotional journey. He is not the type that needs to talk to someone to get closure like that. He knows that talking gets nowhere with people like that. Saeyoung isn't going to step anywhere near V or Rika, for example. But they turned themselves in so he’s not doing that. Saejoong didn't. Saejoong commented that he knew that Saeyoung was hunting him down, and he took the walk of shame to where Saeyoung was to let him catch him.

I know Saeyoung Choi like the back of my hand and he never fucking forgets if someone burns him. He will never forget if someone hurts Saeran or the people he loves. So, yes, he and Saeran have different feelings about this stuff and I’m glad the game shows us all kinds of forgiveness or the lack therefore. Because we all have to cope and choose what’s right for us. The RFA has their own way, as well. Like, there’s no right or wrong choice here. Just remember, as long as you aren’t hurting yourself or anyone else, with it you can be as angry as you want about whatever was done to you. That’s the key detail. You can be upset, but don’t use that hurt against yourself or others. 

I’m more like Saeyoung, myself, tbh. But, situations and circumstances change the way you deal with stuff! 

If I'm being honest here, I don't think that Saejoong is going to be willing to talk. The impact of that situation is a lot stronger when it happens at the moment, and if it doesn't happen the way that it does in the Good Ending, it’s less likely to do anything. I just can't see that man being willing to have an upfront conversation. He's not the type of person to do that for any reason, and he's got far too much pride in himself to talk about his emotions. He's just going to bid his time until the day that he dies since that’s all  he has. Any of the reputation that he built for himself is basically in the gutter and he doesn't have a legacy other than one of corruption.

I’m not saying that Saeran wouldn’t consider it? Because I do feel like there might come a point when he wants to confront it, but that doesn't mean that he's going to get it. Just because you want resolution doesn't mean you're going to get it. People can bite their tongue and stand their ground until the day they die. Saeran can extend a branch for a chance to talk to Saejoong about his life, but that doesn’t mean Saejoong will take it. We know that at the end of the day that Saeran is going to be okay no matter what in the Normal Ending. He's got his brother and he's got you. He's got everything he could ever want or need. He's going to be okay.

He might not have that final part of the catharsis, but he's going to be okay and that’s the good news. There are some other things in that specific ending that aren't taken care of properly. Because the RFA isn't in as good of a place as they are in the good ending. But there's a reason why it's called the normal ending, remember? Saejoong will never change but some people never do. Even if he listened to Saeran, it doesn’t change anything. Saeran is the only one that gets healing out of it. 

[bluejayblueskies]

jon being the one to kill jonah in the end is honestly so important to me. this entire podcast, jonah has only viewed jon as a tool to wield and as an archive of fear to use as the lynchpin for his ritual. but jon is so much more than that, and he's grown so much, and so for him to stand there while jonah is begging for his life and to finally say, "no, i'm done. i'm done listening to you and i'm done being manipulated by you and you will answer for what you've done" is so powerful and good. jon is finally getting both revenge and closure, and regardless of everything that happened after, i am so so glad he got the chance to do so.

[evermoore580]

I watched the Injustice movie

⚠️Spoiler alert ⚠️

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I didn't like it.

Mostly everyone died.

Flash was the worst cuz honestly I forgot they killed him.

Don't start with Nightwing, he got hit in his head by Robin with an escrima stick (I think) and his excuse was that ‘he always dodged it’ (WTF). So I was angry. Anyway we got to see him as Deadwing and the suit reminded me of Discowing so it wasn't all that bad. I don't like his hair. So I guess I didn't feel bad when he died. I apologise.

I didn't like how they tried to add jokes to lighten the mood in some instances like when Plasticman showed up, it just didn't fit well.

Harley was good tho. I liked how she gave the arrow cave a better name. The Quiver.

Wonder Woman was really annoying and she could forgive Superman killing a building full of kids but draws the line at killing Batman & the rest of superheroes like what?? Let's say I never liked the Injustice version of Wonder Woman.

Then Superman. Well, I could never understand the Injustice version of him. Just because Lois died, he has to get revenge and destroy anyone who opposes him. What...I feel like every time Lois dies it's the end of the world.

BatCat...worst possible time for it but at least Batman has someone. How nice.

Damian deserves a slap honestly. Like please I would do it. I understand he's just a kid but still. I'm really glad that he got closure though and that Dick forgave him cuz that was actually the only heartwarming scene in this entire movie.

RIP all the heroes that died and the people that got killed for no reason. Joker deserved it tho.

The animation was meh. Not that great, idk what they're doing honestly.

Anyway I think I covered everything important really. I'll rate it 2/10, or maybe 4 cuz I'm in a good mood.

If you read this and haven't already watched it, well it doesn't really make sense to watch the movie cuz this is basically the major events that happened. Which is disappointing. Not to mention that it didn't follow the plot of the comics or games, at least I think so cuz I haven't read or played that in a while.

If I missed anything, just leave a comment and let me know what you thought about the movie. And yes, I ended this like a Youtuber.

[dreamingofmilk]

Just The Two Of Us Chapter 3

Synopsis: You meet up with Erik to get an explanation.

Word count: 1,447

Warnings: none

Izzie paced back and forth in her dorm room. Ignoring Leona as she just walked into the living room. Lee watched her with amusement, a small smile on her face. Lee sat back on the couch and started eating her popcorn.

“What’s got your panties in a bunch?” Lee asked, her head turning to watch Izzie continuously go back and forth.

“I’m supposed to be meeting someone today.” Izzie stopped to glance at Leona. Then she started up her walking again.

“At what time?” Leona asks, offering Izzie some popcorn. Izzie shakes her head and keeps walking.

“7.”

“That’s in like 5 minutes… shouldn’t you be getting ready.” Leona quirks a brow at Iysha. Iysha shrugs and sits next to her.

“It’s Erik,” Izzie mumbled.

“Erik who?” Lee watched Izzie as she picked up her phone and watched the time tick by. “Erik who Iz?” Lee asked again.

“The Erik. The same guy I was in love with freshman year after he left to join the army before I met Bucky and fell head over heels for a guy with a metal arm.” Izzie yelled frustrated.

“I thought he was dead. Didn’t you get some letter saying he dropped off the grid and was presumed dead.” Lee was now completely intrigued.

“I did! But he’s not and now he wants to meet and explain what happened.” Izzie put her head in her hands and shook slightly.

“So?” Lee shrugged. Go meet him. I don’t see what the big deal is. Wasn’t he like your best friend? What’s wrong with catching up?” Lee reasoned with Izzie.

“The big deal is that I was in love with my best friend. The even bigger deal is that I might still be in love with him.” Izzie responded, her heart hurt as she thought of Bucky and how he might feel hearing those words come out of her mouth.

“Oh,” Lee says.

“Yeah big fucking OH.” Izzie stands up to start pacing again. “Don’t get me wrong I love Bucky. I’m in love with Bucky at 100%. He is who I want to spend the rest of my life with. But seeing Erik yesterday made me realize that I might love him too. I… I..” Izzie faded off looking at her phone again.

“I say you go see him. Tell him how you feel and that you have a boyfriend now. Tell him that you want to still have him in your life as a friend and go from there. You're making assumptions right now and you don’t know how anything will go. You won’t know until you talk to him. If anything you deserve an explanation.” 

Izzie nodded her head in agreeance. “You’re right I do deserve an explanation.” Izzie grabbed her coat from the hook and her keys and wallet. “I’ll let you know what happens.” Izzie all but ran out of the dorm room.

**********

Izzie makes it to the cafe at 7:45 pm her heart pounding from the race there and the anticipation of seeing him again. Butterflies erupted in her stomach as they always did when she saw his face, Bucky’s too.

Erik’s sad face and frown contorted into a big smile when he saw Izzie. He stood up as she made her way toward him. He opened his arms for a hug, Izzie frowned and shook her head.

“I just came for the explanation Erik. Nothing more nothing less.” Izzie sits down quietly in front of where Erik was just sitting.

“Okay. That’s okay. I’m just happy you came. I was getting a bit worried.” Erik chuckled and shyly glanced up at Izzie. His nervousness was new to her. Erik always used to be the most confident guy around, especially whenever Izzie was with him.

“Yeah okay Erik, I’m here now. Can you just explain why you had your commanding officers send me a letter saying that you were dead when you’re clearly not?”

“Okay.” Erik cocks his head. “Well for one… It wasn’t my commanding officers that sent that letter. As far as they know I am actually dead. It was my cousin… T’Challa. You remember him?”

Izzie nods, confusion etched on her face. “I thought… I mean… Did you find him? You were able to get to Wakanda?”

Erik nodded a small content smile on his face.

“I was able to locate my family. It took some fighting and a few family squabbles but we hashed everything out and made it work in the end. I am now Prince Njdaka Udaku advisor to King T’Challa Udaku, and occasional lab rat for Princess Shuri Udaku.” He grimaced at the last one.  

She smiled softly, “That’s great, Erik. I’m glad you found a solution you’re happy with.” Izzie was genuinely happy for him too. She knew how heavy his family history weighed on him, so she was happy to hear that he managed to find a way to fix it. That certainly didn’t fix the issues he caused between the two of them though.

"That doesn't answer my question though. Why did you make me think you were dead?"

Erik sighed, "I joined a black ops organization to get Intel on Wakanda. I wanted to get revenge for Pops."

She nodded, hesitating slightly before she spoke again, "What kind of revenge? Why would you have to join black ops?"

Erik looked into her eyes, his expression full of the same sadness from before. "I was going to kill T'challa. His dad killed Pops, so I planned on returning the favor."

Izzie shook her head, "Erik, no. That wouldn't have solved anything. That wouldn't take the pain away."

He nodded. "Yeah. I learned that the hard way. I almost killed my cousin, twice, to punish him for a crime his father committed. It took me a long time to see it, but T'challa is nothing like his father."

He paused for a bit before continuing. "To answer your question T'Challa helped me fake my death so I wouldn't be punished for treason. I abandoned the military after all."

Izzie frowned, "And you couldn't trust me not to tell anyone?" She couldn't hide the hurt in her voice. "I would have never betrayed you like that!"

Erik raised his hands, palms exposed. "I know, Butter, believe me. I argued with T'challa and Shuri for weeks about it. I didn't want to lie to you. But they said that the military would check into everyone connected to me and I couldn't put you in danger like that. If they found out that you knew anything about my whereabouts they would have taken you, or worse. You don’t know the kind of shit that I got wrapped into with them. The shit that I know about them. I couldn't take that chance."

Izzie nodded reluctantly. "I understand. I wish you would have trusted me though. You have no idea what I went through when I found out you died. I was a wreck for months Erik!" She could feel the tears burning behind her eyes. Those were the darkest times of her life. She almost didn't make it through. And all of it was a lie.

Erik reached across the table and grabbed her hand. "Butter, I'm so sorry I hurt you. I swear to you I only did it to protect you. I know you're angry with me, and I understand, but I love you and I will do whatever I need to do to fix it. Just give me a chance and I will make it my life's work to make you happy."

Izzie shook her head, "It's not that simple Erik." His eyes widened as she spoke, desperation and resolve clear in his expression.

"What's the problem Izzie? I love you, and I know you love me too. Together forever, that's what we said."

The tears in her eyes fell over. "I thought you were dead Erik! Dead! I have a boyfriend, I love him. We can't pick up where we left off."

"A boyfriend huh?" Erik sat back calmly in his seat. 

Izzie nodded. "Yes. Like I said I came here for an explanation and closure. Nothing more, nothing less."

She moved to stand up and Erik gently grabbed her hand.

"That's fine, Butter, I'll win you back. We're meant to be, and I'll do whatever you need to make you see it again."

Izzie wrenched her hand away and gathered her things. Erik sat still, but there was a smirk forming on his face. The same smirk that sent butterflies to her stomach, that still made her weak in the knees. 

"Have fun with your distraction, Butter. I'll be right here when you're ready."

Taglist:

@aislinnsilver @wawakanda-btch @chaneajoyyy @marvelmaree

[boredom-reigns]

Ken Amada : Character Introspection

Persona 3 and some P4:AU Spoilers!

Ken Amada is honestly one of my favourite Persona 3 characters. I know the way his character arc was handled was somewhat flawed (like when he basically doesn't matter after the closure of Oct. 4), but I still love him a lot nevertheless.

My main problem is honestly the fact that a lot of people in the fandom hate him so much it can get grating, especially if it's for nonsensical reasons (like him apparently being the cause of Shinjiro's death even though the person who shot the guy was right there).

I mean, not liking characters is fine. I respect other people's opinions. But spreading misinformation based on a misinterpretation of a scene is... yeah.

Note: These are my opinions and interpretations of his character based on P3 and P4:AU. Other opinions and interpretations are welcome!

First off, like most Persona characters, Ken's character is based off an archetype. Ken's archetype, you could say that it's based on the Adorably Precocious Child trope. He's acts too mature for his age, even trying to hide his childishness by denying the fact he watches Featherman and saying that he drinks black coffee.

But this maturity came at a cost. From the little glimpses of childishness that Ken has shown (for example, the movie showing event where he's basically jumping up and down in happiness because the superhero movie was so cool!) along with his reinforcement of the idea that no, he's capable even at 11 years old (one of his battle voice lines is "Don't underestimate me because of my age") makes me believe that he wasn't always like this. He was forced to mature due to circumstances or he forced himself to mature due to circumstances.

What was this circumstance?

Obviously, the death of his mom.

Ken's mom is a huuuggeee part of his life and basically affected him a lot. Her death made him what he was today. First is that he saw her get murdered right in front him. Of course he's going to be traumatised. Not only that, he had something to direct his anger and hatred to (I'll talk about that later).

But when he told people about what he saw, nobody believed him, obviously. But remember this, Ken was a kid. He was 9 at the time. And he was 100% sure that what he saw was real. When he was being basically labeled as a liar because everyone won't believe him and just treated him as some fragile, traumatised kid, he's going to lash out. He knew it was real yet everyone just thinks that he was lying. He didn't think that obviously no one would believe him because he was deep in grief and hatred. He wanted justice. But no one would help him because everyone's saying that it was an accident. And he hated that.

He had a target to hate, yet he was powerless to inflict punishment (his idea of "justice") on that target.

So he wanted to be capable. If no one's going to help him, then so be it. He'll do his own justice. So Ken forced himself to grow up. He forced himself to be more mature, copying the image of capability he believes in.

Another thing that possibly added to Ken forcing himself to mature is the way people treated him afterwards. To outsiders, he was a traumatised kid. Ken says in his conversation with Shinjiro that he just receives pity no matter where he goes and he hates that pity.

I've seen LPs where they're like "huh, but isn't that good?" to that line. Speaking as someone who has lost a loved one and dealed with other people who lost a loved one, expressing pity is a balancing act.

It's hard to express pity because people deal with grief differently and some people despise pity when they're grieving. Some people are of the mentality of "what use is your pity because it's not going to bring them back!". Being treated differently because you lost someone or being treated as some fragile person made of glass who's going to have a breakdown at any time is horrible. Moving on can be so hard when everyone is tiptoeing around you. And I think that's what Ken felt.

What Ken needed during his grieving was someone who would support him. Someone who believed in him. He didn't need someone who just stood along the sidelines and pitied him. He needed someone who actually approached him and bothered to listen. I feel like that was what Ken was looking for: someone to listen to him. Because everyone around him never listens and just calls him off as a liar. He had no support system whatsoever. He was staying alone in the elementary school dorm and from the convenience store bentos in his room that can be seen in P3D, you can infer that he was forced to take care of himself for 2 years. For 2 years, all he got was financial support and never the needed emotional support.

Because of this, he was left to internalise his grief which then evolved into hatred. He didn't have anybody anymore. There was no point in living for him because his mom, his light, was gone. No one else was there to give him a reason to live. No family, no friends, no one who believes in him. Ken felt that it was only him against the world.

So why should he keep on living?

And this is where the idea that he has a target enters in. This target of his hatred became his one and only purpose. Why? Because it was the only thing that was there for him. He had no one and nothing. The only thing he had in life was this target of his extreme hatred. The target for his justice. Giving the rightful punishment to this target became his only purpose in life to the point that after killing Shinjiro, he was going to kill himself. Ken's only reason to live was to kill Shinjiro for revenge.

As for his entire "Mom would've wanted this.", I feel like that's more of him trying to justify his actions. He had a target of his giref: Shinjiro. He wanted to kill Shinjiro because Shinjiro killed his mom. But murder is a very daunting task. Even Ken hesitated. I feel like he just justified himself with "Mom would've wanted this." so he can do it. Because killing Shinjiro is the only thing left in life for him. It's the only thing he can do now. He had no reason for living other than Shinjiro's death. So he tried to justify it so he would be able to get through doing it and to give him more reasons as to why he should really do it and not hesitate.

On October 4, it was an utter disaster especially when Takaya (*cough* Shinjiro's real killer *cough* people who keep insisting that Ken is the killer) arrived. At this part, Ken finds out about Shinjiro's drug deal. He loses his shit because he finds out that Shinjiro's going to die early anyway no matter what he does. Killing Shinjiro at this point felt like knocking someone who was already down. It had no point. And because killing Shinjiro had no point, Ken's entire purpose for living had no point. So... He had no purpose.

And this was why Ken went "I have no reason to live."

Other things we can actually see on October 4 is that Ken does care about SEES. He joined SEES with ulterior motives but in the end, he cares. He pretended that he was the navigator to make sure that Takaya won't find out about Fuuka and that Takaya would target him. The time he spent in SEES was most likely the most emotional support he got (and that's kinda sad because SEES is like the most dysfunctional party out of all the Persona games (except maybe P2:EP?)). He got people who saw the same things he saw, people who understood him. He got people who actually bothered to talk to him and listen. Heck, you can even bring him to the movies which I'm sure is great because who knows how long has that kid haven't seen a movie or had fun. There's people who actually don't treat him with so much pity. That fact that you can bring him to Tartarus, I think he's glad about that because he's not underestimated. Ken was respected in SEES as an equal and he appreciated it.

After the entire Oct. 4 shenanigans, Ken has learned to look into himself. He realized his mistakes, his deep hatred blinding him, but most of all, he found a reason to live. He finally moved on, and decided to live as that was what his mom and Shinjiro would've truly wanted.

Then fast forward to P4:AU we can see that he's indeed living. He's pretty much the most popular guy in school, he's in Student Council, and he's even in the soccer club. But he can't fully live yet.

If you've P3 episode of P4:AU, you'd play the Ken vs Shadow Ken part which actually reveals a lot about post-P3 Ken. If you haven't, watch it here.

Ken can't be 100% content with his current life. He feels fake, being a child again, going to school normally and having friends his age to talk and laugh with. This is because of how much his past has destroyed his childhood. He was forced to mature, forced to see things his age shouldn't see, forced to experience things that he shouldn't experience that age. No one his age could understand. They were too innocent while the ones who could understand him (SEES) were too old.

An interesting thing about his entire image post-P3 is that he was basically the "ideal student". He was handsome, smart, athletic, responsible, etc. It makes me wonder if he got that image because it was what he thought was what living was (which his mom and Shinjiro wanted) or because that was what people expected of him. I can see him trying to be more of a child because people expected him to be lighter as the entire Tartarus-Nyx dilemma was gone. I can also see him forcing himself to be more of a child as he feels the obligation to take back the childhood he lost. But that's it, he forced himself. He's not content because for him, he's fake.

Ken's fake he only wanted to fight and this affects him. I think he wanted to fight because that felt the closest to his true self: who he was when he was with SEES. He wanted to help the Shadow Operatives because it was the only environment he can be 100% honest to himself. No pretending that he had a normal life. It was living as him, with people who knew him. In the end, it circles back to the point that he finds fighting Shadows as a purpose to live.

This chapter also showed that Shinjiro still affects him. He blames himself for what happened on October 4, with his monologues saying that he committed a mistake in relation to Shinjiro's death. Shinjiro is an important person to him and his death was very much impactful.

Then Ken fights his fake, where he says that he's been "conceited" and "didn't understand anything at all". I take this as a point of enlightenment for him. What he didn't understand was "living". He followed a mold that be felt he should follow. He thought that he could only feel true to himself by only fighting supernatural creatures. He realised that he wasn't truly living at this point. He thought he understood that he was living like how his mom and Shinjiro wanted but he wasn't. He was still stuck in the past.

This was why I loved his epilogue. In his epilogue, he decides to quit the Shadow Operatives. He decides that it was time for him to move on from their dark past and continue living, not only for his mom and Shinjiro, but also for himself. He thinks that it was better for him this way. He gets to regain his childhood.

His fangirls notice that he's become less distant and more warm to approach, showing signs that he's beginning to open up to people. Despite the fact that he can never tell people about the whole Shadows and Personas, he can still make new bonds. He doesn't have to be stuck on one bond.

This doesn't mean he's abandoning SEES. He still recognises his string bond with them, one might even say that they're family at this point. But just because he has a bond with them doesn't mean he should only restrict himself to them. He can make new, true bonds that aren't fake.

He finds out how to truly live. He just enjoys the moment and finally lets go, showing his inner child.

Ken's character is all about the purpose of life. Because even if life is so hard it feels like death, there's always a reason to live. Even if you can't find your purpose to live now, you will find it someday.