#and get her painkillers and vitamin tablets

[starved-vyka]

Putting “Taking care of my mother when she’s sick” on my boyfriend resume

[nightcall99]

Dreams from 6.4.24

Random scenes of many dreams:

I was in a dance class but I left and then I came back and then I left again... the building had many floors, it was huge

as I was leaving, I walked through a room with workers sitting at desks and facing in one direction, toward the door. it looked like a classroom but I think it was a hospital. There was nothing to do, they were just waiting for a big emergency to happen. It was so silent, so still, but they were waiting...

I was trying to get home, I was at the train station. I was walking back and forth between two platforms. Comparing, choosing.

Will this one take me home? This one takes me close, but not close enough. The other platform, is the right one I think. It goes in the right direction. But I will still need to catch a connecting bus to get home

Now I was with a group of friends. This guy, he had a joint. I don't usually do this, not when I'm this close to getting home but he handed it to me. I smoke it. It didn't have the effect that it usually does after a few puffs, so I had more. It still barely did anything, though a calm did take over. I thought about pocketing the rest, he wouldn't have noticed. He was much more high than I. I could use it for ritualistic purposes, like getting answers. It would be... more intentional. But he hadn't gifted it so I gave it back. We were on the station just waiting for our train, and it was a nice slight high. I was content.

My sister wanted to go to a show tonight. I didn't want to go. But I guess I didn't mind. She said our brother was interested in coming too, I couldn't be bothered but whatever.

I woke up and went back to sleep and had this dream:

I was at work but it looked different. I was about to hand out six tablets of 5mg painkillers that TC had dispensed. I was standing in front of the lady about to hand it over but I felt that the box was more bulky than it should be. It felt very odd. I emptied the box. One blister sleeve was folded over to fit into the box, it looked so unprofessional. There was a random painkiller patch inside, which I'm sure was not meant for her. Had not been on the script. Then I saw one capsule of 10mg, not the 5mg that it should be. That's no good at all.

I had to talk to TC about it. Directly. Even when he wasn't working at the moment. I don't know why. I made my excuses to the lady, who was nice and didn't mind and then I left and and drove off in my car. I was intent on finding him, and I did. He was doing something on some random street. I showed him the box, told him about all the errors. He wasn't fazed, didn't care. Just kind of went, Oops. I suppose I was expecting he would take some responsibility. He wasn't 'there' anymore though. The capsules fell to the ground. How? How had they become free of the blister? I picked them up. Now they were vitamin D capsules. Once orange/brown and opaque, now transparent with yellow fluid. And now they're squished, dirty.

I go back to the car and drove back to work. I realised I hadn't even discussed any of this with MN. I just disappeared from the shop. Just left him high and dry. Well, that's rude of me. I found a parking spot close to work and swooped into it as fast as I could. I almost crashed straight into a pram with a young girl in it. Where'd that come from? I hit the brakes. I didn't hit her, but I did touch the pram. The child must have felt the vibration of it but I did not hear any cries, nor any signs of trouble. And huh? There's tables with people sitting all around. Is this an outdoor cafe? The girl's mother and her friend are having brunch, on my right, I think. They weren't one iota angry or scared that I'd almost murdered the child. Through the car window, I said, I'm so sorry.... They said, It's alright, as you long as you braked in time and you did.

I got out of my car and it turns into a tiny fold-up car thing. What? Had I been driving around in it, all serious and that? It's so pathetic looking. I ended up shifting the thing over to a patch of grass, leaving it behind a cafe table. I wondered if someone would steal it. Probably not, it kind of gets lost amongst all this outdoor furniture. What if it really does get mistaken for a toy car and gets binned though. Oh well.

I race back to work. On my way in, I see the customer lady. She greets me, like really happily. Weird. She doesn't even care about all the waiting, it's probably been ages. She seemed in her own little world. She said something which frazzled me a bit actually. She goes, Oh is this really your work, or is it like a project? I don't know what she meant. I think she was trying to ask, if this was a job that I do for money, or am I doing it for the information about something.

I don't even apologise to MN. He doesn't care. Or maybe he was wondering where I was, and did care, but he didn't show it. He did seem kind of pre-occupied though, other people were talking to him. I tried to tell him what happened but it was like talking to a wall. I just stuck to the facts, like this is what TC did and this is how I'm going to fix it etc. The capsules had fallen to the ground and I was going to replace them entirely, even if 5 of the 6 capsules are right. Since they're dirty now (never mind they turned into vitamin D caps). He was like, meh.

The computer doesn't work. It's one of those really old box computers from forever ago. The screen is so small. The mouse won't move properly. I am typing in the patients name but it won't work. I keep trying. I'm annoyed, frustrated.

[sohotthateveryonedied]

Just the Same

Summary:

“You’re sick.”

“You’re ugly.”

“Why didn’t you tell anyone you weren’t feeling well?”

“I’m fine.” Jason closes his eyes. “Just a little tired.”

“Uh-huh. And that’s why you have a fever?”

Read it here on AO3!

Bruce has a very simple plan for tonight, alright? He’s going to grab a quick post-patrol snack from the kitchen, then he’s going to take a shower, and then he will go promptly to bed. He’s tired. It’s been a long day. He just wants to sleep. (You absolute fool, the goblin in his brain screeches at him, because the goddamn Batman cannot get a goddamn break or else the world will literally split in two.) Fatefully, Bruce passes the den’s open doorway while half of his mind is preoccupied with sending Dick a goodnight text, and he happens to glance into the room. That’s when he stops in his tracks. Even more fatefully, Alfred is coming down the hall in Bruce’s direction, carrying a tray with a single cup of tea on it. “Alfred?” “Yes, Master Bruce?” “Were you aware that Jason was home?” Alfred looks over at where Jason is asleep on the den sofa, still in his leather jacket and boots. He doesn’t look remotely surprised by the sight. Then again, is Alfred ever surprised? “Master Jason got in while you were on patrol. I offered to make him dinner, but he said he wasn’t hungry.” Then there’s that classic Alfred Pennyworth eyebrow crease. “When he wakes up, do inform him that one does not forgo the need for nutrition when one has been dipped in a Lazarus Pit.” “I’ll be sure to do that.” “Now, if you will excuse me.” Alfred walks off with his perfectly level tray, on a perilous journey to Damian’s room. Bruce envies him. At least Alfred gets to go to sleep after Damian gets his nighttime tea. Bruce enters the den carefully, without a sound. God knows Jason hardly sleeps through the night without interruption as it is. Now, at least, he looks peaceful enough. So much time has passed since his last haircut that his hair curls against his temple, plastered with sweat. He must have come here straight from Red Hood business. At least he didn’t get blood on the couch this time. Quietly, Bruce pulls the knitted throw blanket from where it’s draped over the back of the sofa and lays it over Jason, tucking it in close when he catches a shiver rattling Jason’s teeth. Now that he’s paying attention, he can see that Jason’s cheeks are flushed as well. His mouth is locked in a grimace, even in sleep. Bruce presses the back of his hand against Jason’s forehead and clicks his tongue. Definitely a fever. Jason’s eyebrows wrinkle at the touch. His eyes crack open and take a moment to land on Bruce, sitting on the edge of the couch by Jason’s torso. It says a lot that he doesn’t go into battle mode as soon as he registers an unfamiliar presence in the room. “Mmph. Go away.” “You’re sick.” “You’re ugly.” “Why didn’t you tell anyone you weren’t feeling well?” “I’m fine.” Jason closes his eyes. “Just a little tired.” “Uh-huh. And that’s why you have a fever?” “Why don’t you mind your fucking—” Jason tumbles into a coughing fit, wet and hacking. “I’ll be right back,” Bruce tells him with a parting pat on the knee. His knees creak as he stands, heading for the bathroom down the hall. He digs through the medicine cabinet until he finds the thermometer, one of many that Alfred keeps in every bathroom in the house. He grabs a bottle of Tylenol as well. Bruce goes back to the couch and reclaims his spot next to Jason, who has stopped coughing by now, but his breathing is heavy. Bruce touches the thermometer to Jason’s temple, ignoring his weak swats. It reads out a hundred and one degrees. “When did you start feeling sick?” Jason grunts and rolls onto his side, curling in on himself. “Dunno. Yesterday, I guess.” Bruce frowns. Of course Jason would ignore any achy feelings for as long as possible. None of Bruce’s kids have a single self-preserving bone in their bodies. “Tell me your symptoms.” “Being a fucking snack.” “Jason.” Jason coughs. “Leave me alone, old man.” “Does your throat hurt?” “Yeah, so quit trying to make me talk.” “Any nausea?” Jason buries his face into a throw pillow. “You’re fuckin’ exhausting, you know that?” He sighs. “Not since last night. I’m freezing, lethargic, and my head is killing me. Happy?” Bruce hums. “It’s probably the flu.” “Yeah, no shit.” Jason closes his eyes. “Now will you leave me alone? You’re making my headache worse.” Bruce twists open the Tylenol cap and shakes out a couple of tablets into his palm. “Here.” He holds them out to Jason. Jason opens one eye, looks at the pills, and closes it again. “No.” “Jason—” “No. Don’t like pills.” Bruce can’t say he didn’t expect as much. Still, it does Jason no favors to continuously refuse any sort of medication, choosing to tough out the pain for as long as he can. It all ties back to his mother’s drug addiction, a disease which Jason watched slowly kill her over years and years. It makes sense that he’d grow up with an unwavering aversion to drugs. When Jason was a small tot, Bruce and Alfred spent what probably accumulated to hours of cajoling, trying to talk Jason into taking even the lightest painkillers. Lidocaine and numbing solutions were fine, but anything resembling a narcotic was out—and still is, apparently. It makes Bruce wonder how Jason reacted to the Lazarus Pit and its euphoria-inducing waters—part of the whole “magical healing” process. Maybe he was too out of his mind at the time to form a solid thought, much less remember his childhood trauma. This is one fight Bruce chooses not to get into, so he recaps the Tylenol and sets it aside. Miraculously, Jason is already asleep again. That’s fine with Bruce; it’s better his son sleeps this flu off than wastes his energy arguing. Trying not to jostle him too much, Bruce takes off Jason’s boots and leaves them on the carpet. He grabs the TV remote and settles in on the couch with Jason’s feet in his lap, pulling up a nature documentary on hyenas that he and Damian haven’t had the chance to finish yet. Looks like he’ll be catching up on his sleep tomorrow night. Right now, Jason needs him (despite how fervently he’ll protest as much). Honestly, this whole situation brings Bruce back to the old days. After moving into the manor, it took over six months for Jason to completely recover from the years of malnutrition he suffered on the streets. His weight was far too low for a boy his age, even more scrawny than Tim. Alfred provided Jason with plenty of vitamin supplements and extra servings at dinner to bulk him up, but his immune system was shoddy at best no matter how much weight he gained. During his Robin era it was illness after illness, from the common cold to a whammying case of pneumonia. This is the first time Jason has been sick in Bruce’s presence since his death, though. Bruce is learning about the eating habits of hyenas when Tim comes in from the kitchen with a cup of peppermint tea, despite having supposedly gone to bed three hours ago. He stands there in the doorway for a moment, looks owlishly at Jason, then at Bruce, then back to Jason. He grins. “No,” Bruce says. “You don’t even know what I was going to do!” “I know you, and the answer is no.” “Jeez, Bruce. I’m not gonna kill him.” Tim attempts to cross his arms, forgetting that he’s holding hot tea, and hisses when it scalds his arm. “The hand-in-warm-water trick’s never hurt anyone,” he mutters. “Go back upstairs. You’ll get sick.” Tim wrinkles his nose. “This is prejudice against people without spleens, you know. I could sue your ass.” “Sue me from upstairs where I can comfortably know that you won’t die from the flu.” Tim rolls his eyes, but he goes. Bruce hears him stomp up the stairs, getting quieter and quieter until the footsteps are gone entirely. Bruce shakes his head. How did he ever think that having four boys would be a good idea? He questions his younger self’s judgement every day. For the next three hours, Jason sleeps in fits and starts. He never stays awake longer than five minutes at a time, drinking water when Bruce prods him to and grudgingly letting Bruce check his temperature for any spikes. Bruce learns quite a bit about hyenas in the meantime, until the documentary ends and a new one about sea otters begins. In between the hazy bouts of wakefulness, Jason tosses restlessly in the throes of nightmare after nightmare. Beads of sweat roll down his forehead. In the back of his mind Bruce wonders, is this just the fever talking or are nightmares a nightly villain for Jason? The latter would come as no shock, but that doesn’t mean he likes the idea. Bruce runs his fingers through Jason’s sweaty curls, a reflection of years ago when he would do the same thing any time Jason had a nightmare during his youth. Jason has been cheated out of peaceful nights from the beginning. Of course, back then there wasn’t a white streak splitting the darkness of his onyx hair—a reminder of the pit water swimming in Jason’s blood. Bruce moves a lock of hair off Jason’s forehead, gentle as a moth. Jason’s eyes fly open and he jerks away from the touch, a gasp ripping up his throat. Bruce doesn’t move. He gives Jason a moment to regain his bearings, stilling the hand in Jason’s hair. Green irises lock on Bruce, frenzied. “Where?” he croaks. “The manor.” Jason takes a deep breath in, clenching his jaw. “Okay.” He lets it out. “Okay.” Bruce grabs the water bottle he’s kept on the coffee table. “Here,” he says, moving his hand down to Jason’s back and prodding a shoulder blade. “Sit up.” “Fuck you.” It comes out half groan, the illness-wrought exhaustion catching back up with Jason. “You need to hydrate.” “Double fuck you.” Bruce shrugs. “Drink half of this or I’ll call Alfred and have him convince you. Your choice.” Jason rolls his eyes and snatches the bottle. Bruce will take that as a victory. Jason sits up with enormous effort, groaning at the aches in his body until he’s upright next to Bruce. He drinks the water, wincing when it hits his sore throat. “What were you dreaming about?” Bruce ventures to ask. Jason lowers the bottle to narrow his eyes at Bruce like he’s the biggest idiot in this room. “Shut up.” The annoying part is that Bruce genuinely has no idea what Jason’s nightmare could have been about. His childhood? His death? His resurrection? Any of the traumatic things that could have happened afterward, ones that Bruce wasn’t there for? There is such a disconnect between the two of them now. He should count it a blessing that they have moments like this, though Bruce would greatly prefer spending time with Jason while he isn’t sick and miserable. But Bruce will take it, nonetheless. Jason drains a sufficient amount of water, only to lurch forward in another coughing fit as soon as he gets in a breath. “Christ,” he rasps, eyes watering. “Just fucking shoot me already, will ya?” Bruce rubs his back. “I could tranq you, if you really think it would help. But I can’t guarantee that one of your brothers won’t take advantage of that and draw mustaches on your face while I’m not looking.” “Har, har. You’re a fucking comedian now.” Jason’s voice is coarse as gravel, scraping up his vocal cords. “Want some tea? It’ll help soothe your throat.” “Later. Just wanna...sleep for now.” In spite of everything he stands for, Jason tips his head to rest it on Bruce’s shoulder. Whether it was intentional or he’s just so disoriented from the fever that he has no idea he’s even doing it, Bruce won’t take the gesture for granted. Jason is shivering, so Bruce pulls the blanket tighter around his shoulders where it slackened during his sleep. Then, in a riskier maneuver, he puts his arm around Jason and pulls him in close like he did so many times when Jason was a lot shorter and a lot less jagged around the edges. Bcuce still loves him just the same. Jason leans into Bruce’s warmth instinctively, but he warns, “Tell anyone about this and I’ll shatter your clavicle.” “Mm-hm.” “I mean it. You’ll need a goddamn orthopedic surgeon to fix you up if you breathe a word of this to anyone.” “I believe you.” It must be a good enough answer because Jason closes his eyes, relaxing in Bruce’s hold. “The only reason I’m gonna say this is ‘cause my brain is melting,” Jason says, “but...thanks. For being here.” He yawns. “Being sick alone fuckin’ sucks.” “I hear you.” “And keep Tim away from me, ‘kay? I don’t trust the little snot not to pull something.” Bruce snorts and unpauses the otter movie. “Go to sleep, Jay.”

[13atoms]

Deep Focus: Chapter 3 [Tom Hiddleston x Reader]

Summary: Tom is a successful porn director with a romantic streak which proves very popular with his female audience. His resident porn actress and business partner has been with him through thick and thin, the two of them growing completely inseparable, even as her own career starts taking off. But working in such close proximity is intense, and burgeoning feelings threaten to complicate their professional relationship.

Mature, smut, porn director!AU, ethical porn production discussion, porn-star-and-coworker!reader. Friends to lovers, slow-ish burn. This chapter: no smut, light hurt / comfort, all fluff. Warnings for usual stuff + UTI talk [6k] Ao3 link

You woke up in agony. With an ache through your entire lower body, and that distinctive, painful need to piss that made you want to cry. After a few dazed moments in the bathroom, you realised what was wrong, and bit back tears as at the overwhelming sensation cramping through your entire lower body.

Before you’d even googled the symptoms, you knew Urinary Tract Infection would be at the top of your screen. Next to it, a new message from Tom, asking some question about a file he couldn’t find.

Fuck off, you wanted to send back, crawling back to bed and struggling to focus on the words as the burning sensation refused to subside. Another message followed it:

Tom: Actually no rush, we can go over it in the office.

A few more seconds, and he’d sent:

Tom: Does 12 still work

Tom: I’ll bring snacks :)

That stupid smiley face. He still couldn’t work out emojis. Usually it would endear him to you, but instead it brought tears to your eyes, your duvet both a comfort and unbearably stifling as you wrapped yourself around it, desperately shifting your hips to find a position which might numb the burning pain from that fucking UTI.

You were hungry, shaky, and you knew if you wanted painkillers you’d have to get food. But it was so far away. And the thought of cooking food made you want to throw up. Or scream into the pillow.

Your phone buzzed again.

Tom: ?

It wasn’t his fault. You knew it wasn’t his fault. Even if he had written the script and directed the scene and then trapped you into a heartwarming conversation which had definitely given bacteria the chance to destroy your urethra and bladder after hours of being fucked and fingered and you were going to kill him if he sent one more fucking text.

Grumpy and in pain and curled up in bed, it felt exhausting to even compose a short text which was polite enough to not hurt his feelings.

Sorry, don’t think I can make it in. Need a sick day.

You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath, and considering just sucking it up and going in to the office. Maybe if you could grin and bear it, it might take your mind off things. Then you needed to piss again, pain pulsing in your entire lower abdomen, and you cursed the day you ever took the damn job. As you limped to and back from the bathroom, grabbing a huge glass of water on the way, the insistent buzz of your phone interrupted your pity party.

Of course it was Tom calling you.

You thought about not picking up, but you knew he’d only worry more. And some small part of you wanted the sympathy, as you forced yourself to chug water you knew would burn on the way out and lamented the bloated pain in your bladder.

“Hey, Tom.”

A second after you picked up, he was already in a full blown speech.

“Hey! Are you okay? What’s going on? You should have said you weren’t feeling well yesterday, we didn’t need to shoot. It’s – ”

He trailed off, and you smiled at the sound of his huff down the phone, his frustration at himself as he realised he wasn’t giving you space to talk. Even as the pain in your lower stomach demanded your attention, you caught yourself smiling.

“I’m fine, just feeling a bit worse for wear.”

For a beat he was silent, but you could imagine the furrow in his brow, the way his eyes would soften with concern if you could see his face.

“What’s really wrong?”

His voice was so soft, laced with that rare kind of sincerity that left you feeling like he truly, truly cared, and suddenly you realised you were crying. Stumbling over your words, face screwed up from discomfort, you knew you should be mortified to be sobbing down the phone to him. But Tom wouldn’t care.

“I’ve got a UTI, and it really fucking hurts. I should have peed straight after the shoot yesterday but I forgot and I don’t think I can get out of bed. I’m really sorry, I’ll – I’ll make up on the work. Email me what I need to do I just… I can’t do it today,” you choked out.

On the other end of the phone, you could hear Tom was moving.

“Oh, darling. Don’t even think about the work. You don’t need to apologise. I’m… what do I need to do? I’m on my way over.”

You wouldn’t expect anything less, the unguarded concern and tinge of panic in his voice catching you off-guard with how sweet it was. He was really worried. The conversation from yesterday loomed large in your memory – was he just worried about losing his biggest talent? You knew that wasn’t true, cursing yourself as soon as the thought flitted through your mind. He really cared.

Background noise leaked through the call as he put his phone on speaker, the jangle of keys and the sound of doors slamming telling you he was getting ready to leave.

“Tom, it’s fine. Please. I don’t need you to look after me,” you protested, “just the day off is great.”

He said your name lowly, almost a whine, and you knew he wouldn’t be discouraged whatever you said.

“I’m fine…” you returned, equally stubborn. You expected him to laugh, but instead the phone was returned to his ear, his voice clear as glass, with all of his decisive firmness.

“You said you couldn’t get out of bed. I’m coming over.”

It was enough to forget the discomfort you felt, your heart clenching at his protectiveness. You could keep fighting him – some part of you didn’t want him seeing you sick – but in truth it sounded really nice to be looked after. You curled up tighter in your bed, the screen of the phone cooling against your overheated cheek.

“So I’ll ask again,” he continued, “is there anything I can do to help?”

“Could you grab some cranberry juice on the way over? And maybe some junk food?”

“Of course. You should have just asked.”

“Thank you.”

Your voice sounded impossibly small, some admission of weakness, but Tom didn’t acknowledge it. He chatted for a bit longer, the sounds of the city playing in snatches alongside his baritone as he walked through the streets, blathering and giving you advice and smothering you with sympathy as he rushed over. It made you smile as you just listened, distracted a little from the pain and pressure in your bladder, as he offered completely vague and generic advice about looking after yourself.

It was nice. To have someone care for you that much. He was completely forgiven for his hand in causing you all that pain to start with.

“Are you sure you shouldn’t go to a doctor?”

You heard him stop walking, no longer distracted from his worry as it leeched into his voice. You could imagine the little row of shops he was standing outside of, the faded shopfronts he was staring down.

“I’ll be fine, Tom.”

“There’s a pharmacy on the way –”

“No!” you laughed, imaging his frustration as it was accompanied by the beeping of traffic lights.

He only hung up as he entered a shop, promising he wasn’t too far away, and as the line went dead you realised you’d been smiling for the past five minutes.

*

When Tom arrived you were just leaving the bathroom, rushing to the door and drying your hands on your sweatpants, fighting to stand normally even as a fresh burning pain demanded your attention.

He was juggling bags as you let him in, one in his arms and a backpack weighing him down.

“Hey!” he greeted, bustling past you to the kitchen, leaving you to close the door behind him.

You privately liked it when he was like this – on a warpath. It happened on set quite a lot, everything else forgotten as he found a goal and the blinders went on. You were usually there to balance him out – to remember to talk to people and do the boring stuff.

His current warpath was rummaging through your cupboards, muttering about all the things you needed to be given to feel better. He turned to face you slightly out of breath, a completely over reactionary panic in his eyes.

“I got you breakfast too, I wasn’t sure if you’d eaten.”

As he set his backpack down on your kitchen counter, unpacking pastries and painkillers and snacks, you wondered what you had done to deserve Tom. Without thinking, ignoring the fact you were just wearing sweats and probably needed a shower, you hugged him. Pulling you closer to him without hesitation, you felt Tom smile against you.

You blamed the pain, the hunger, the stupid bacteria, for the tears pooling in your eyes.

“Thank you,” you murmured into the hug.

Tom squeezed you just a little bit tighter, one hand tensing where it splayed flat against your shoulder blade. He refused to let you go first.

“Of course,” he murmured back.

Finally you stepped back, ducking you head to avoid his eyeline, turning your attention to the stuff he’d brought. Tom seemed to take a second to snap out of his daze, his overwhelming energy momentarily sapped, allowing the moment to fade away.

As he started to unpack the bag, you realised just how overboard he had gone. Every brand of cranberry juice you could imagine. You got a narrative of everything he bought as he stacked it in front of you, batting your hands if you tried to help.

“I know you said not to, but I spoke to a pharmacist on the way over. He said you don’t need to see a doctor unless it’s bad for another three days, then they might give you antibiotics. I got you paracetamol too – he said that was best.”

Two boxes of pills emerged from the bag, followed by chocolate.

“Since you feel rough,” he explained sheepishly, before pulling out more pills, “and I also got Vitamin C tablets. Those are supposed to help. Snacks for lunch…”

He’d practically bought you the whole corner shop, and you bit back a fond smile as he filled the fridge.

“…and cranberry juice. As requested.”

You were about to thank him, the words trapped in your mouth at just how overboard he had gone, but Tom was already speaking again.

“I know he said just to give you painkillers, but if it gets worse I will take you to see a doctor. Your kidneys might be at risk if it doesn’t clear up soon –”

You sat down heavily in the kitchen, pulling your legs closer to yourself as the pain spiked for a moment, making Tom twist to face you in concern. It fucking hurt, but you wouldn’t let him see that. With a huff of laughter, you tugged at his arm to sit beside you.

“Tom! You are mothering me to death,” you teased, feeling your cheeks burn hot at his attention.

“I’m hopefully mothering you to make you feel better, darling.”

Damn him, for being so sweet. You felt yourself blush under the attention.

“Just because you need me to find that file!” you shot back, trying not to stare at the way his teeth worried his bottom lip.

His eyes met yours intensely, purposefully, and for a second you remembered his uncanny ability to be so sincere it felt like he was staring right through you.

“It’s not just work. I care about you,” he told you candidly. You almost couldn’t bear to listen to it. “I was so worried when you said you were sick. I hoped you were just hungover or something.”

Snorting a laugh, you tried to break the heaviness of the atmosphere. It sounded horrifically unnatural. Tom didn’t even crack a smile.

“There’s a reason we start at 12 most days,” you teased, before sensing you’d somehow gotten the mood entirely wrong. Tom stayed quiet.

“Thank you,” you tried again, voice more sincere as you tried to match him, wincing as you shifted your hips, “I do really appreciate it. So much. I was just going to lie in bed and be miserable, and this is actually making me feel better.”

You’re making me feel better. The thought went unsaid.

“I’m glad.”

The pair of you ate in silence for a while, Tom working on an orange as you munched through the breakfast he’d brought you. Every few bites, you caught his concerned gaze on you.

“You should have told me straight away. And we’ll get you the week off work.”

You went to protest, but he’d strategically spoken as you had a mouth full of food. He ploughed on.

“No arguments. We can reschedule the shoot on Thursday, or hire someone else.”

“Tom, no. I’ll be fine once I’ve down the… three cartons of cranberry juice you bought. How much do I owe you, by the way?”

“Not a penny.”

“Tom!”

He ignored your complaints, silently moving to stand instead. As Tom searched for a glass, opening random cupboards, you picked a carton to chug cranberry juice from with all the grace of a frat boy. Tom laughed at first, before resting on hand on your arm as you forced yourself to drink as much as you could.

“You’ll make yourself sick!” he protested, and you finally conceded defeat and put down the remaining half of the carton.

“Better than this UTI,” you grumbled, “cranberry juice usually clears them pretty quick.”

He left you to it for a while as you forced down the sickly sweet cranberry juice (not your favourite brand, you decided, but it would do) and finished your breakfast.

Assuming he was responding to emails you sat quietly, letting him focus while you enjoyed the food, until you caught the banner of WebMD at the top of his screen. You sighed, and Tom’s focus was on you in a second, worry in the lines of his forehead.

“Is it bad?” he asked quietly, glancing down at the hand firmly place on your lower stomach.

“It’s not ideal,” you conceded.

He bit his lip, and you knew he was sinking further into a pit of worry.

“People have them all the time. Stop reading that, I’ll be okay!”

“I just get scared. Whenever I see what you go through at work, I – ”

“You make it sound like I’m suffering some terrible fate, Tom. It’s my job, and I have to do it. This could have happened from anything.”

You cut yourself off before you could accuse him of overreacting. He was sincerely worried. You didn’t want to mock that.

“You could get a hot water bottle, if you don’t mind?” you suggested, “That helps sometimes.”

He was on his feet before you finished speaking, rummaging through cupboards and flicking the kettle on. It seemed like a good solution, to give him a task. You chewed your last bite of croissant slowly as you watched him.

Sweet, sweet Tom. It was dangerous to admit, but you had no idea what you would do if he wasn’t in your life. You watched the line of his slim build as he strode around your kitchen, filling the hot water bottle and testing the heat of it against his hand before he guided you to stand.

“Come and sit on the sofa, love.”

One hand outstretched, a fluffy water bottle grasped against his side, curls dishevelled, you were taken aback yet again by just how rare Tom was. You often wondered if he had some secret partner you’d never heard about, some situationship or wife or something he kept hidden from you.

It just didn’t seem possible a man like this could go home to an empty house. Your heart ached for him, sometimes. His loneliness, as he fought to climb the ladder in such a harsh industry with that ridiculously soft heart of his.

Then he was calling your name, stepping closer with concern on his face, reaching for your jaw as you stood dazed.

“Sweetheart?”

“Sorry,” you blinked, trying to snap out it, stumbling forwards a little as you tried to reassure him you were fine.

One hand still rested awkwardly on your aching lower stomach, and Tom was shoving the hot water bottle beneath it, arms ready to brace you if you fell. Fuck. Embarrassment overtook your senses, tears starting to well in your eyes, as you realised just how shit you felt.

Tom was muttering about sitting down, guiding you as if you couldn’t navigate to your own sofa without help, a helpless concern on his face which was making your heart ache with guilt.

“I’m sorry,” you muttered again as he helped you sit, suddenly overwhelmed by the need to pee, by a fresh pain in your stomach. By Tom’s hands on you, the smell of his cologne and the concerned crinkle of his forehead as he knelt on the ground in front of you.

Leaning forwards, you tried to be subtle as you shoved the hot water bottle tighter against your lap and grit your teeth against the fresh wave of discomfort. Those painkillers had better kick in soon. With your eyes clenched shut you didn’t have to see Tom’s concern, didn’t have to imagine yourself weak and useless in his eyes. Even so, your embarrassment about him witnessing you like this was potent. You hardly felt like you were in your own body, confused and clumsy. You realised you were still gripping Tom’s hand, probably hurting his fingers as you squeezed involuntarily from the pain.

You let go suddenly, gasping as you remembered to breathe, hand covering your own eyes instead.

He was watching silently, and it unnerved you more than his rambling. Under the mask of your fingers you opened your eyes, seeing the fold of his knees against the floor and the wringing of his hands in his lap.

All you could hear was your breathing and his, slow and fast respectively.

Fuck, you needed to piss again. Damn cranberry juice. The knowledge that it would flush your system was all the comfort you could grasp as the uncomfortable pressure in your bladder became abruptly unbearable and the pain seemed to swell further, somehow.

You thought for a moment, your brain ticking along painfully slowly with exhaustion and pain, enjoying the darkness of your eyes screwed closed beneath your palm.

Ignore Tom. Stand up. Get to the bathroom. Pee.

In your confusion-addled brain, it felt like enough of a plan. The discomfort was so potent, it was hard to string thoughts together. After a few seconds of bracing yourself, it felt like every muscle in your body strained to stand back up again, resting a hand on the couch for balance as you swayed for a second, blinking against the sudden brightness bombarding your opened eyes. Tom was asking you what you were doing, but you ignored him. You felt drunk, nauseous, staggering and eyes still welling with tears at the sheer agony of straightening up to walk the few steps to the bathroom.

You could ignore Tom, this fresh well of misery making his words seem miles away, but as you finally got close the bathroom door his hands on your hips halted you in place.

He forced you to look at him, eyes struggling to focus on his features, the deep frown on his face deepening as he saw the tear tracking down your cheek.

“What are you doing?” he asked purposefully, overenunciating the words like he was speaking to a stubborn child, hands grounding you as he held you still.

“Bathroom.”

The words seemed like someone else’s, taking an impossible amount of effort, shaky as they fell from your lips. You realised you were fully crying, and some distant, rational part of you felt a stab of mortification.

“Okay,” Tom nodded in understanding, still using that slow, controlled tone.

He didn’t seem to have anything else to comment, guiding you to the bathroom door and opening it, letting you walk inside before holding it open by the handle.

You frowned, struggling to find the words to complain to him, desperate to pee and try to end the pain in your sensitive bladder. Tom’s face was still creased with concern, a fresh tinge of quiet authority in the set of his jaw.

“Please don’t lock the door,” he insisted, and you frowned. “I won’t… I won’t open it. I promise. But please don’t lock it. Just in case.”

You nodded mutely, unhappy, but not quite having the presence of mind to argue. Tom closed the door, and you sighed, accepting his deal as you nervously sat to pee, eyes fixed on the handle. He was probably pacing outside, and you tried not to think about how embarrassing this all was as you let your face fall to your hands, trying to scrub away the tears which had begun to itch on your cheeks.

It burned, and you exhaled shakily. You reached to turn on a tap, and hoped Tom couldn’t hear.

Fuck this. Fuck this.

The fogginess of reality was cut through sharply by pain, and the all-consuming ache which seemed to suddenly rage through your entire pelvis, your worry about the unlocked door only adding to the sheer misery this day seemed to have planned for you.

“All okay?” Tom called through the door, shocking you with the reminder of just how close he was.

With a wince you cleared your throat, trying to hide the weakness of your voice as you prepared to reply before he got any big ideas about bursting through that fucking door.

“All good!”

“Good.”

His reply was awkward, too loud and too curt, and you wondered what he was thinking. If he was lamenting some other plans for his day. You heard his footsteps retreat, and turned off the running tap.

The pain in your abdomen had lessened now, the burn finally subsiding, and after a few moments staring into space your head started to clear. A few more litres of cranberry juice, and hopefully it’d be all better.

You always forgot the kind of despair that acute kind of illness seemed to bring, the pain and the weakness. Blinking away the confusion, you washed your hands and face. Tried to fix your hair a little. Brushed your teeth. All those little things fixed, and you started to feel better.

It took you a few more minutes, and one more check-in from Tom, for you to emerge. The kitchen had been cleaned up, the hot water bottle ready to be refilled, and Tom was sat uncomfortably on the sofa – it was obvious he’d just sat down as he heard you approaching.

He jumped to his feet again, not quite sure what to do with his arms, and you wished you knew what was going on behind those widened blue eyes. You should ask, you knew he’d tell you everything straight away.

Tom was never insincere.

The movement of his lips suggested he was trying to word a question, and failing. You put him out of his misery.

“I’m feeling a lot better.”

“I’m glad. That’s good.”

He didn’t believe you, and you could see it. You folded yourself onto the couch, and he moved to refill the hot water bottle. Handing it to you wordlessly he hovered nearby, until you shuffled to indicate he could sit beside you.

It was awkward. Things were never awkward with Tom. His weight beside yours dragged the two of you together, even gravity willing you to reconcile from this strange shift in the atmosphere. You resisted, shuffling a little so you could sit up without touching him, one arm on the sofa as you faced him.

“Sorry for zoning out on you there, I don’t know what happened. I wasn’t trying to be rude.”

His face broke into a quiet relief, and it broke your heart a little.

“You weren’t! I didn’t think you were being rude. You just scared me. I was worried.”

Smiling tightly, you hugged the hot water bottle closer to your torso, enjoying the comfort as much as the pain relief from the warmth. The storm of concern on his face lifted a little as he watched, hearing your quiet, unspoken thank you.

“What have you got planned for the rest of your day?” you asked softly, diverting the conversation.

Tom knew what you were doing, and you saw him bite down a laugh.

“Just looking after this stubborn woman, and not leaving her house until she feels better.”

The mocking was light, undercut by the open fondness in his eyes, and you found yourself warmed by it.

“She sounds like a pain in the arse,” you teased.

“She’s really not. Only when she pretends to be fine when she’s not.”

“Sorry.”

His face dropped, immediately reaching for your hand, and he scrambled to backtrack. You were a horrified as tears sprung to your eyes again, trying to blink them away.

“You know I wasn’t serious. I just worry, I’m sorry.”

He was still reaching for you, one hand on yours and the other gently brushing away your fresh tears, his face close to yours as you shuddered out breaths and tried to form words.

“No, you say anything wrong, I think I’m just feeling a bit…”

“Down?” Tom offered.

“Fragile.”

“Oh, sweetheart.”

You weren’t sure if he opened his arms first, or if you reached for him first. But you were against his chest in a second, head on his shoulder and his arm around you, the hot water bottle displaced as it warmed both of your hips where they were pressed together.

There was comfort in the beating of his heart, in the smell of him and the cologne he’d put on hours ago, in the strength of his arms as they held you to him for the second time that day.

You apologised again against the fabric of his shirt, and he shushed your words.

“You must feel dreadful, love. You’d be well within your rights to tell me to go fuck myself. I think you were very polite, all things considered. Ignoring me was very considerate.”

When he felt you laugh against his chest you could hear Tom’s heart speed up, the rumble of his own chuckle, and you knew the two of you were fine again.

You’d always be fine. The two of you were close like that.

“I’ll remember that for next time,” you teased.

“There won’t be a next time.”

A sombre promise that you’d never get another urinary tract infection was crazy, it didn’t make sense. He was taking far too much accountability, as usual. But you let yourself sink into his confidence, into his comfort. You let yourself believe him.

“You’re so good to me.”

He didn’t say anything, just shuffled you to relax down on the couch, keeping you against him but twisting you. One hand found the hot water bottle and pressed it against your abdomen again, and even when you reached to take it, his hand just stayed there.

It took a few seconds to process that he was spooning you, the solidness of his chest against your back and one hand over your stomach. He was everywhere, against your whole body, warm and smelling amazing, his breath against your neck and his weight pulling you closer to him on the soft cushions.

You wondered if he felt it too. That strange, desperate need to be closer even as you were pressed together. Like you wanted your soul to merge with his, your skin itself to melt together with his.

Maybe you could blame the infection-induced madness for that feeling too.

The pain in your abdomen was barely there anymore, your bladder feeling less raw, the ache no longer acid-sharp. But you knew that was because of him. Because of the warmth and the distraction and his comfort, these stupid endorphins coursing through your veins, and his sweetness in bringing you medicine and sustenance and three fucking cartons of cranberry juice.

“You okay?” he mumbled against your neck.

For a second you couldn’t think of anything except a flash of irrational jealousy. The mere thought he’d held other people like this. That there were nights he might have come home from you and whispered against someone else’s neck, raised goosebumps on their skin, warmed their body.

You had to stop yourself from gasping, wondering where the hell that had come from, a strange brand of anger still burning hot in your chest. You were starting to sweat, from his body heat and the hot water bottle and the infection. Maybe a bit from jealousy.

If Tom noticed, he wasn’t disgusted. He stayed right there. While Tom babied you, you were happy to engage in moping around for a bit.

“They don’t warn you about this bit,” you whispered, “when you sign up to do this shit.”

“This shouldn’t happen,” he consoled, “I thought the studio was better than that. We’ll tighten protocols. I’ll see what we can do to make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

You knew he couldn’t see your smile, and you hoped he couldn’t sense the tightness in your chest at this ridiculous seriousness. A worry for your health that surpassed your own concern.

Was that what love was? You hadn’t really thought about it before.

“Risk of the job,” you dismissed.

He grumbled into your hair, his breath ghosting over your neck. You wondered if his eyes were closed. As he minutes passed his head relaxed a little, the position melting, your bodies wax under that quiet, smouldering flame which you shared.

You closed your eyes, focusing on Tom’s steady breaths lulling you to sleep.

*

He was still there when you woke up, a heavy arm over your waist, his hand replacing the fluffy hot water bottle which had fallen to the ground. You could feel the five points of his fingertips on your thin shirt.

You weren’t sure if he was awake, his breathing quiet and even, chest moving against your back even as the two of you had fidgeted in sleep. It was delicious, warm, but your bladder was screaming at you. You realised you probably should have drunk more before napping, that burning sensation returning, and sighed as you started to disentangle yourself from Tom without disturbing him.

He must have been asleep, mumbling in confusion as your form was replaced with cool air against his chest, rolling over and opening his eyes sleepily.

It was early afternoon, the room bathed in light, and he squinted as he murmured your name. His voice was deepened and slurred by his nap, and you tried to soothe him back to sleep as you retreated to the bathroom.

“Go back to sleep, it’s fine.”

He was fully awake, rubbing his eyes, and you sighed. Pausing in the doorframe, you watched as he sat up and looked around to fix you with a stare. He had a fairly extraordinary case of bedhead, red creases from the sofa marking his face, confusion on his face as he woke up.

“Where are you going?”

“I… Tom. Go back to sleep. Don’t worry.”

He blinked, and asked again.

“Where are you going?”

You fixed him with a glare of ‘I don’t want to say it’, but he was too sleepy to understand. He cocked his head in confusion.

“I have to pee again,” you admitted, and Tom clambered to his feet.

For some reason.

He seemed more awake now, stretching to his full height as he strode across the room to you.

“Really? You’re embarrassed about that? How long have we known each other?”

“Why are you following me?”

He paused in the doorway, blinking in confusion at himself, pink creeping up his cheeks.

“Right, sorry.”

You smiled to yourself as you used the bathroom, still wincing from pain but blessedly noting an improvement, staring at your reflection in the mirror as you washed your hands. You weren’t sure when you’d started feeling differently about Tom. You weren’t sure if your relationship had changed, or if it was just in your head.

You were sure that this was new. Something beyond the close friendship you had taken for granted for years. You could get used to the feeling of waking up pressed against him. To being spoilt by him, surprised by his thoughtfulness. You could get used to that desperate sincerity, those blue eyes which saw right through to your soul.

Drying your hands on your sweatpants, you re-entered the living room, seeing Tom’s mop of curls as he sat cross-legged on the sofa, back straight and hands folded in his hands. He seemed sheepish, his position almost child-like as his eyes tracked you across the room, waiting for you to settle somewhere.

There were gears turning in that overactive mind of his, and you perched yourself beside him, waiting for him to speak. Finally he did, the words precise and practiced inside his own mind.

“I’m sorry for just barging in. I don’t know if that was too far, I just wanted to help. I couldn’t go to work alone knowing you weren’t well.”

You couldn’t help smiling. Of course that was what he was worried about.

“Tom, it’s okay. I appreciate your help so much, not many people would do that for me. I’m sorry for being so stubborn.”

He winced, lips pressed into a tight line.

“I’m sorry. You know I didn’t mean that.”

“But you were right,” you admitted, “I was being stubborn. I should have just said thank you. So, thank you.”

Tom nodded in acknowledgement, but you knew he hadn’t taken the words in. He kept talking.

“I felt so bad, I knew yesterday was too much. We should’ve taken more breaks. You must be so tired. Or getting sick. Apparently if your immune system is already fighting something off you’re more likely to get ill. And I kept you talking when I should’ve made you to and clean up.”

“You won’t convince me this is your fault, Tom,” you told him lightly, resting on hand on his bent knee.

He stared at your hand for a long second, and you knew he didn’t believe you. You closed your eyes, swallowed, letting your eyes drift across to everything he’d brought. Remembering how he’d dropped everything at the realisation you were sick.

How he wouldn’t take no for an answer until he was with you, helping you. Making sure you were safe. You wondered what would have happened if he hadn’t come over. Would you still be in bed, choking down water and painkillers, debating texting to ask him to bring groceries over?

You couldn’t recall why were so averse to him coming over now. He hadn’t made you feel bad, or weak. He’d been nothing but caring and helpful and, yes, a little overbearing.

But that was part of him. What made Tom, Tom. He put one hand on his thigh, inches from where your thumb rubbed over the inside of his knee, and you took the leap. You laced your fingers which his, staring at how your hands fit together.

“I can’t remember a time anyone was this nice to me. Ever.”

Tom sighed, and you felt a moment of heaviness. A realisation that your life was about to shift. Chapters, ending and beginning. Something new taking root, as Tom met your eyes nervously.

“Then I need to do a better job.”

[purplecraze]

Why are you so angry?

Pannacotta’s only company was the ticking of the clock which had just struck half past 3. 8 more pages and he’ll be up on schedule. He rubbed his eyes for a second, his brow felt a bit hot...

better take another aspirin...

He stared at the paper in front of him. It was all boring.... none of it had been a challenge or something interesting that he didn’t know yet.

He didn’t care about law studies, really. But his parents went and sign him up for the university. Law school was the way to make it in this world, they said.

They never asked his opinion. He had none, they believed.

Though Pannacotta didn’t agree. By now, he had left his parents’ intellect long behind him.

They didn’t get him. how could they? same for his siblings. they were absolutely useless...

But father and mother loved them. they got to do whatever they wanted...

so, by that reasoning, they didn’t love him...

neither did he love them...

if they were gone, would he have a choice?

he grit his teeth, pressing the pen into the paper until it cut through.

another asprin...

heavy breathing.

anti-depressants. Ritalin. Vitamins. Energy tablets. Control it. Your anger is without any reason. Anger drops the level of rationality. control it! don’t let it out!

Maybe he’s just tired. normally, he should be in bed by 3. he had a deep conversation with his teacher too. exams were coming up.

His teacher was one of the rare people he could hold a proper conversation with. He was highly respected and very generous to him. He told him he has a son about his age. But he’s more fond of his mother. they have a happy marriage, though.... is that what a parent should feel like?

.......oh! he was dosing off! no good!... but at least he was calm again... just.... just one more painkiller...

tomorrow was Wednesday. He’d get to see his grandmother again. knowing this, Pannacotta thought he could surely deal with the restlessness he was feeling for a few more hours.

With the exams around the corner, it would be the last time to see her in 3 weeks... it made him sad, but he knew his grandmother must have prepared a delicious cake. and she’d tell him heroic stories about the war and spies and mobsters.

just a few more hours.... a few more hours..... endure it...

(10/10)

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

DOTW 19 - Full

Hanji wanted to throw a Welcome Home party for him, while Eren didn't want a party. They'd compromised, and now Eren was hiding out in his room, avoiding said party. Marco had already found him, his friend's stomach swollen into a small adorable bump, which his ear was against. Downstairs Levi was with Hanji and Moblit, after clinging to the presence of the alpha while copped up in hospital, his anxieties were now getting the better of him. He didn't know what to say, or do. It didn't matter that he'd missed Levi while he was with Zeke, nor did it matter that he'd ached for him during his heat. Even if it'd been 8 weeks, it felt like a lifetime had passed between them "Eren, you still awake?" Scratching his scalp lightly, Eren hummed up at Marco "Yeah. Barely though. I'm a terrible host. You're the one who's pregnant, yet I'm the one laying with my head in your lap" Marco laughed lightly. His friend didn't seem to care he'd disappeared completely, only that he was finally back. He'd spent the first hour or so, not knowing what to say. Then Marco had followed him up to his room, and made the first move. He'd assured him he didn't have to talk if he wasn't ready, for that he was grateful. Marco was so soft and sweet. He didn't want him to know "You've got a boot thing on your leg, and a cast on your arm. All I've got is a baby and indigestion" "You're going to be such a good mum. Do you know what it is?" "We decided to wait until they're born" "Awww. Either way, it's going to be adorable if it looks like you" "I just hope it doesn't have Jean's big head" Giggling, Eren had to agree with that. Something that big, just wasn't supposed to come out an opening that small. Babies in general were weird, but pregnancy was even weirder "It's still cool though. A tiny person is growing inside you" "One day, you'll have your own tiny person inside you" "I don't know about that. That means finding an alpha, and having sex and all that seems like effort" "What do you mean, finding an alpha? What about Levi?" Groaning, Eren rolled onto his side so he was facing away from Marco's stomach "That's complicated" "What's so complicated about it?" "I'm not in the headspace for anything. We got close... but I can't... I can barely stand being touched. I mean like, you're ok because you're an omega, but alphas... it's iffy" "You know, I don't think Jean would mind if you stayed with us" "No. This place is as good as any. It just feels weird being back" "Um... I know I said I wasn't going to push you to talk, but if you want to. I'll listen" "It's ok. It's nicer than the hospital" "Other than the stairs" "Yeah. I'm over them already. When we came home yesterday, Hanji sent me up to have a nap, then she called me down for dinner, then she sent me back to up to my room, then called me down again to see if I wanted to watch a movie with her and Moblit. 5 times up and down those stairs... it was definitely some kind of torture" "Jean's all paranoid about the baby. He won't let me do steps. I'm like 5 months. Steps are not the end of the world" "He just loves you" "He does. He's working a crazy amount of overtime so he can buy everything. I told him I didn't have to quit work, but he wants to take care of us" "You're lucky you have a good alpha" "I know I am. Do you know if Hanji's had any luck conceiving yet?" "I have no idea. Probably. I get the feeling that if she was, she wouldn't want to tell me" "Why not?" "She'd say she doesn't want me worrying or something" "I hope she does. Fall pregnant I mean" "Mmm. She'd be another good mum. The kid would be crazy, and Moblit would probably have a mental breakdown, but he'd love every second of it" Without really realising, Eren's right hand had moved to his stomach. His last heat had been rough. The need to breed, with Levi, and to be thoroughly bred into pregnancy physically hurt. He'd sobbed for the alpha, while Zeke was away for work. He'd nearly broken down the apartment door in his haze of need "I think you'd made a good mum too. Your kids would have such pretty eyes" "I don't know. I think I'd be scared for them to be an omega" "Things are changing for omegas" "Yeah, but that doesn't mean everyone is going to change. Sorry. I don't want to be a downer, not when this little ones growing so fast" Yawning, he closed his eyes "I think we could both use a nap. I don't even do things, and I'm still tired" "It should be ok, I mean, I should be ok if you want to nap up here" "You just want me in your bed and under the covers" "Can you blame me? You're nice and warm" And omega. And omega who wasn't going to hold him down, or try and bond with him. His omega was loving the contact of another person, something none of the alphas in his life could give. Moblit didn't even have to touch him for him to want to vomit, while Hanji left his stomach rolling because she kept forgetting about the "no touching" thing. He honestly didn't know how to make this situation work, when his nerves and anxieties, coupled with his retraining made the house feel so unwelcome. Even when it came to his room, he felt like he was invading and that he shouldn't be there "I need to pee again. Get comfy while I'm gone?" "I don't think I'd have the patience to pee every five minutes" "You should have seen the morning sickness then. It got so bad that Jean made a bed in the guest bathroom for me" "That's kind of..." "Gross and sweet at the same time?" "Yeah" "It was" Wriggling off Marco's lap, Eren waited until his friend was standing before crawling under the covers of his bed. He hadn't asked Hanji to invite Levi and Marco over, so as far as he was concerned, Hanji could deal with Levi. He and Marco both wanted to nap, so they would. He just hoped he wouldn't have a nightmare or wake up screaming, or even worse, hit Marco. He truly treasured his friendship with the omega, and even if it meant forcing himself not to think about everything he'd missed in his absence, he wanted to salvage it. He wanted to be there for Marco and his baby. Rubbing his swell as he walked across to Eren's bed, Marco smiled shyly as he climbed under the covers to join him "The baby was kicking again" "And I missed it?" "Sorry. They're super active, but seem to get all shy when someone's around" "So they're already taking after you" Teasing Marco gently, his friend took his hand and slipped it up under his shirt "Wait... there, can you feel it?" There was the faintest of movements beneath his fingertips, yet his heart swelled at the sensation. His omega piping up about how much it wanted a child. Part of him was still jealous it wasn't him who was pregnant, but the feeling of Marco's baby was amazing "Yeah... wow" "It's a little strange" "It's awesome" "Jean says he never feels it" "It's really faint. He was probably expecting a solid kick" "It's a solid kick inside me" "Mmm. I can't even imagine" Sliding his cast hand free, he rest it on Marco's hip. His friend starting to purr as he wrapped in one arm loosely around him "I really missed this. I missed hanging out with you" "I missed you too. I still haven't gone through all your texts, but I saw your ultrasounds" "It's ok. They're just mostly me talking at you. I haven't got that many friends, and being home alone gets lonely" "I promise I'll message back. I'm still trying to get through all the ones Levi sent" "Didn't Levi know you didn't have your phone?" "He did... he, um, he said he was looking for me, and he'd message me about his day" "You say you don't have an alpha, but I'm pretty sure if you told Levi you wanted to bond, he'd give you his mark in a heartbeat" He probably would... but the idea of being marked was scary as fuck. Having a permanent connection to one person for the rest of your life seemed an impossible dream "He's a good alpha. Hanji used to apologise for his bluntness and his crankiness, but he wasn't really like that with me. I don't know why" "Because you're cute?" "No, I'm all tall and thin" "And totally cute. Even with your moonboot and cast" Groaning, Eren buried his face in his pillow "I'm so over casts and boots and splints. Hanji said it has to stay on during the day until I've recovered completely" He had to take all sorts of pills too. Painkillers, mood stabilisers, antidepressants, anti nausea, vitamins. He was well and truly over taking tablets "How do you even shower?" "In a stupid chair. I wanted to have a bath last night, but that meant not getting the splint wet, or the cast and then that seemed like too much effort" "Doesn't it get wet in the shower?" "I take the splint and that off. And it doesn't get soaked like in a bath. Anyway. Tell more about the baby" "I've learnt that pregnancy makes you like super horny. Jean can't keep his hands off me" Wrinkling his nose, the omega shook his head "I said that baby. Not your sex life" "I'm just saying. All it takes is a whiff of Jean..." "Lalalala" Pinching him, Eren poked his tongue out "Fine. The baby is going great. Right on the track. Good vitals... good heartbeat. Tiny and perfect. We've been trying to decide on the nursery. I was thinking scandi-chic, but Jean was thinking more fun" "Scandi-chic has been done to death" "That's because it works" "It worked so well that everything looks the same. There's nothing really special about it. This little bean of yours is special" "They are. I don't know... there's just so many options" "Just avoid Jean's opinions and you'll be safe" "I can picture it now. A bright red wall for a newborn. It's not exactly calming" His voice shook slightly "Red isn't a great colour" Red was the colour of blood... red blood that didn't stop... "Eren?" His scent had shifted, betraying his miniblip of fear "Sorry. It's ok. Just, yeah. What about green? Or blue?" "Yeah, but do you know how many shades there are?" "We could, um, look at them together?" He didn't want to boss Marco into his ideas or ruin his dreams... "That would be so much help. I've been looking at everything on my own, well, when Jean isn't home to stop me and it feels like someone's split by head open, and everything is just melting out" "I don't think it works that way" "There's just so much! People used to raise babies in tents, and now they're like, each baby has to have its own room..." "Ok. Ok. I don't get it, but we'll take a look after our nap?" "Mmm. I have photos on my phone. I've like screen-shotted everything so I can show Jean" Resuming his purr, Eren's own omega began to purr back, feeding off of Marco's happiness and pheromones. Apparently it was common for omegas to feel maternal when around pregnant omegas, leaving him to hope he didn't just blurt out how jealous he was and ruin it all. Neither of them actually fell asleep. After a few minutes, Marco started giggling before he started tickling him. Unable to retaliate without the fear of smacking Marco's stomach, he pled for mercy until his friend finally stopped "Isn't it funny. I was so tired before, but now we're lying down, I can't get to sleep" Sighing softly, he patted Marco's hip "Grab your phone then, we'll start looking at baby things" "I thought you were sleepy" "I'm not promising I'll stay awake..." "Hey, my tastes aren't so boring that they'll put you to sleep" "I don't know, I haven't seen them yet" "You know, if they do put you to sleep, it's a good sign it's going to put the baby to sleep" "I give you permission to baby me if I fall asleep" Marco groaned, shaking his head as he fished out his phone "Don't even go there. Since my breasts started to develop, Jean won't leave them alone" "They're so tiny and cute" "I'll give you tiny.... and cute..." Tapping on his phone, Marco pulled up his latest ultrasound. Eren awwed over the small image "See" "Very tiny and very cute. I yield. Now, I want to see everything" Marco had what seemed to be thousands of screenshots, leaving Eren's head muddled. He could see why Marco was struggling, and understand why Jean couldn't catch up. His friend had so many ideas, and couldn't just settle on one. It was completely adorable. Marco's scent was so happy, his eyes bright as he talked a million miles a minute. Time slipped away from them completely, until a light knock interrupted Marco "Hey boys, sorry but Jean is out the front. He said he messaged?" Marco rolled over, beginning to climb from his bed "Thanks Hanji. We got caught up talking all things baby" "Did you two have a good time?" "Yeah. I'll see you soon, right Eren?" "Yep. If you get any more ideas, message me" "I might just message you anyway" "Sounds good. Hanji, make sure he gets down the stairs ok?" "You're not coming down? Moblit made cake" "He doesn't like the stairs" Turning back to look at him, Eren poked his tongue out at Marco "Dobber" "You started it" "I'm legitimately worried about you... and you're the one who said Jean won't let you do stairs alone" "I didn't think you'd use it against me" "It's all part of my evil plan" Marco rolled his eyes "I think that means he's staying in bed" "Yep. Thanks for coming over... I needed this. There hasn't been much to laugh about lately" His friend gave softened before brightening again "I know. Call me if you need me. Anytime" "I will" He wouldn't. He really wouldn't, but Marco looked so hopeful about it. * Levi'd expected Eren to be a little distant now that he was back at Hanji's, but he hadn't expected Eren to be in bed with his best friend. More than once he'd caught the sound of the pair of omegas giggling or laughing about something. Something that Eren had sorely needed after his recent stay in Shinganshima Memorial. Hanji had gushed over how cute the pair of them where, laying in bed together. He hadn't meant for his alpha to raise its jealous head. He was happy Eren had a friend he could trust... it just sucked it wasn't him. He'd thought with how close they're gotten, and with how Eren didn't want to be touched, that maybe he was special. The omega had let him hold him. Had let him comfort him and be there. Now Eren had Marco, he felt discarded. Eren didn't even want to come down for cake, despite the amount of effort Moblit had gone exerted to make the beast of a creation, and he didn't have an actual reason for wanting to go check on the brat, other than fact he was curious and jealous. Passing him two plates of cake, Levi frowned deeply at them "You've been glaring at it since I came back down. Just go talk to Eren already" "He's..." "Probably not sure what to say. He's in a good mood, so go see him already" Standing next to her husband, Hanji elbowed Moblit's side "Uh. What? Yeah" "You have no idea what just happened, do you?" Moblit snorted lightly "I never do. Why don't you take that up to Eren? You can use it as excuse to talk to him" Laughing, Hanji shoved a kiss to Moblit's cheek "That's what I was saying. You should really listen to what I say more often" "Yes, dear" The pair of them were so in love that it was disgusting. Placing his plate down, he looked at the slice for Eren. It was way too big. The omega wouldn't even be able to finish a third of it, then he'd probably feel guilty over not eating it all. They all knew Eren had bad eating habits, he didn't need a guilt trip over them on his second night back "Go on. Go talk to him already" "I'm going. God. You two are as bad as each other" Eren's door was open, Levi heart momentarily stopping in panic as the unwanted memories of their argument came back. He could see the omega laying in his bed, yet his alpha was still panicked. Eren had run once... what if he left them again? "Are you coming in, or staying out there?" Snorting at the brat's cheek, Levi walked into Eren's room "I have cake" "I can see..." Placing the plate down on the bedside table, he didn't know what to do with himself. Eren's room smelt more of Marco than Eren. The man's scent irritating his nose, and upsetting his alpha. His alpha wanted to protect Eren more than anything in the world, but with the scent of pregnant omega, it wanted to protect Marco too. Conflicted over it own confusion, Levi sighed to himself. He'd swapped suppressants again now that was back at work, so he was still waiting for them to stabilise everything "You can, um, sit. I don't mind" "You don't have to force yourself" "It's ok... having Marco helped my omega settle" Sitting on the edge of Eren's bed, he waited for Eren to pull himself into a sitting position before retrieving the piece of cake and passing it over "Holy shit..." "Yeah. Moblit got a bit carried away, but you don't have to finish it all" "I don't think I can stomach it..." Compared to everything Eren had been eating, the cake was probably was too rich for him to keep it down "Just try a small bit. It's better than hospital food" "Are you going to have some?" "This bit is all yours" "I don't want to eat on my own" "Just eat a little and I'll finish the rest" "Was he mad?" "Mad?" "Because I didn't go down" "Nah. He knows it's going to take some time getting used to be being back here" "Here isn't so bad... it's better than the hospital" "Then why were you hiding up here all night? Did I do something?" "You? No... Marco and I were talking about the baby. He and Jean decided not to find out if it's a boy or girl" If that was all, that didn't explain why they were laying in bed together, and not talking in the living room. If it wasn't him, then it must be Moblit "He looked happy" "He is. He's got so many plans for the nursery that he can't make his mind up" "As long as he doesn't listen to Jean, things should be alright" "I said the same thing... Jean made him quit his job, and Marco's always been so social..." "He's got you to talk to" "Mmm... I don't know how helpful I am though" "I'm sure you two can figure it out" Eren sounded excited about the baby, leaving Levi wondering if the omega wanted a child of his own. Eren would make a good mother. He'd been through so much shit, that he'd be a fierce protector of his pup "Do you want kids?" "I... uh, I don't know. When you have a baby, you're stuck with the father in their lives. If you leave your alpha, they're the one who gets custody... if I had a baby, I don't think I could give them up" He would never make Eren give up their child... no. They weren't a couple. He shouldn't be thinking of nice a well bred Eren would look, or how badly he wanted to be the one to sire his pups. Picking at the top of the cake, Eren sighed softly "Are you sure Moblit isn't mad at me?" "He's not mad. He just got a little carried away while baking" "It's not him. Can you let him know? I don't want to be scared of him, but the house is so big, and I don't feel like I belong here... and the stairs. I fucking hate stairs" "I'm glad it's not personal" "It's not. My nerves are just a bit messed up. Hanji makes me take all these pills. I don't like taking pills" "It won't be forever" "It just feels like it" Finally breaking off a small piece of cake, Eren popped the piece in his mouth, before pulling a face "That good?" "It's too sweet" Taking the plate back, his hand brushed Eren's. Eren letting go of the plate as he cringed from the contact "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you" "No. It took me by surprise. I was ok with Marco, so I should have been ok with you" "Eren" "No. It's stupid... I should be over this" Placing the plate down, Levi held his hands up as if surrendering "You're healing. You don't need to force yourself. We're happy you're here, even though it's not under the best circumstances" "You mean because I'm back only because Zeke died" "Yeah" Fuck. Just. Fuck "I think I want to go bed now" He'd stepped on the Zeke mine, now Eren was throwing up his walls, practically ruining all the work Marco had done to make Eren feel relaxed and happy to be back "Do you want me to stay?" "No. Can you take the cake too?" "Sure. If you need anything, message me" "Yeah. Sure" Taking Eren's slice of cake back downstairs with him, Levi dragged his feet. He'd heard the start of Eren's purring before he'd even reached the doorway. The omega becoming distressed all over again, thanks to him. Joining Hanji and Moblit in the kitchen, Hanji sagged at the sight of the mostly intact piece of cake "He didn't want it?" "No, it wasn't that. After hospital food, it was a bit too much" Moblit sighed softly. He knew this was an attempt at making sure Eren felt welcome "Oh..." "We talked. You haven't done anything wrong. He's just readjusting to being here, and not loving the stairs, or the boot. Marco was a good idea. He was pretty happy to see him again" "I didn't even think. I should have made something lighter..." "Moblit. It's not you, and it's never been you or Hanji or even me. It's whatever was done to him in the past, and his brother was murdered in front of him by seems of it. It's shit. He's been sent back to step one and he's scared and lonely all over again" "Has he said anything about Zeke?" Levi shook his head "I accidentally went there, and he kicked me out" "I've booked him an appointment with his counsellor... do you think he'll be ok with that?" "As long as you ask him, and you're there waiting for him. Last time he was there he had a pretty big panic attack when he came out" "Do you want to take him?" "When is it?" "Friday afternoon" "I've got work. I'm still on probation" Hanji nodded "Then I'll take him, I thought maybe if you did, it wouldn't be so bad for him. I've sent through a fax to Thomas, outlining what we think happened, and Zeke's death. Also the needle thing. I don't want to believe he used, and his blood results didn't show any illicit drugs in his system, but his prints were the only one on the needle" Hanji had been "harassing" the police since they'd visited Eren. She was trying to get Zeke's body released, but as the case was "active", it may be some time before that happened. Even though he hated Zeke, he knew Eren would want to see him again, or at least know what happened to him "That sounds like a fun conversation. You spent a week next to your murdered brother, oh, and why was there a needle in your arm? Was it part of your psychopathic brother's training?" His tone dripped with annoyance. It should be up to Eren what he chose to disclose and when, and more importantly to who "You don't need to word it like that" "It doesn't make it any less true. Eren's gone to bed, so I'm going to go. If something goes wrong, let me know" "Oh... ok... now he's home, I suppose you'll be around more often" "That's up to Eren. Just go easy on him over the boot and the stairs. He already thinks he's still in trouble over returning to Zeke" "The boot's for his own good, and it's not like we change the stairs" "I'm just saying, give him space. Don't make a fuss over anything, even if it's complete shit" "It's easy for you to say that. He seems to trust you more than he trusts us" "That's not true. He can't control his phobias or fears" "I saw how you were with him at the hospital" "And now that he's home, he won't let me near him. He was fine with Marco, because Marco is an omega. If you're so worried about upsetting him by, you're only going to push him away further" Since when was he the one who seemed to understand this relationship shit. He didn't get people. He didn't get day after day in a happy relationship. He had no idea where any of this was coming from, but when it came to Eren, it just seemed to come semi-naturally. * Living at Hanji's felt completely off. Zeke had taken special care to show him everything he'd done wrong. His brother had told him what was wrong with him, and now... he felt like he had no right to be moving around her and Moblit's house when they weren't there. It was strange. He'd... he'd missed them all so much. He missed seeing everyone... well, talking with Levi mostly. He'd struggled so hard to accept that he'd never see Levi again. That whatever they'd had, was now over. Zeke had gotten so mad when he'd mentioned Levi, his brother had thrown him in his room before he could even realise what he'd done wrong. He should have been happy to be back with Zeke, but he just... he wasn't. His brother had changed while they'd been apart. His words hurt just as much as when he'd hit him. He always apologised for losing his temper, but Zeke had started to scare him. Some days he'd be in such a bad mood, Eren would hide under his bed from him... until Zeke would drag him out and force him to talk. All he wanted was to be good, so his brother would love him. He didn't understand how he'd changed so much. How he'd become such a bad omega who needed to be retrained so thoroughly. He'd had two heats while back with his brother. His first heat was more or less normal for him. He could still function, but he'd slipped up. He'd thought of when he'd had sex with Levi, and how Hanji said that it was natural for omegas to touch themselves. He'd tried... he'd barely wrapped his hand around his aching erection when Zeke walked in. His brother livid at the action... slapping him so hard he tasted blood, before telling him it was dirty and wrong, before making him shower under the painfully cold water. He hadn't meant to be wrong. Zeke had taken care of him after that. He'd got him fresh pyjamas and underwear, before tucking him up in bed and apologising. Zeke always apologised. He only hit him because he cared. He loved Zeke. Zeke was the only family he had... but now Zeke was gone and he didn't know what to do anymore. Hanji and Moblit were both at work, and if things were how they'd used to be, he would have cleaned through the house by now. But that was wrong. That was invading their privacy. He didn't pay rent. He didn't pay for food, so he didn't deserve to eat any of it. He couldn't even pay them back for his latest stint in hospital. Or for all the medication he had to take. Levi had said they were happy he was back... but... he wasn't getting better. He still didn't want to be touched. He couldn't stay in the same room as Moblit for very long, and Hanji kept giving him looks of pity. So he spent his days in his room. Sometimes he'd talk to Marco, or Levi. But only if they messaged him first. He didn't want to disturb them. He didn't want to be a burden. Both of them were busy with their own lives, while he was simple just wasting oxygen. He'd thought about doing something about it... he really thought about it... but he was too scared it would hurt. He didn't want to hurt anymore. Everyday hurt. He missed Zeke, and he hated him for leaving him behind again. He was so fucking angry with his brother for dying. For making him someone else's problem and for the fact that no one would even talk about Zeke. He knew that was his fault. He always got so worked up when things some how turned towards him. Everyone wanted him to tell them what happened, even Thomas had tried asking... but he wasn't ready. He didn't want to see the blood anymore. He couldn't even remember Zeke's smile or scent... just the blood and the gurgling sound as it bubbled from his mouth. He felt like he was drowning and he didn't know how to pull himself out. It was surprising how much time had passed like that. He'd already been out of hospital for three weeks. He'd seen Marco twice in that time, and only seen Levi that once. He knew Levi would be there for him, if he reached out his hand, Levi would take it. But everyone he'd reached out to was dead. His mother... she'd protected him... so had Zeke and because he was so stupid and useless they were both gone. If Levi died... he couldn't live with it. The man might be short and cranky, and have really weird taste when it came to music... but so many people loved him. Hell, he saved people's lives. All Eren had ever done was let them die. He wanted to be strong. He wanted to be better so his brother would love and rely on him more... then he'd gone and failed him. It left him physically sick. Hanji didn't know it, but when he was alone, he threw up. His fears would get so bad. His stomach knotting and rolling as he wondered if she or Moblit would really come home. Sometimes the nausea lasted for hours, and some times he felt ok after he puked. The medication was supposed to help with it, but he supposed it didn't really work when you were as useless as he was. Medication never worked properly for him anyway. Thomas had asked him why he wasn't on suppressants, then looked at him like he was a freak when he explained they sent him into heat. It wasn't that he didn't like Thomas... he just felt sure that the man didn't like him. He didn't even know if Moblit liked him anymore. He hadn't been able to eat the cake he'd made... or much of his cooking. Moblit always looked so stressed and tired, and if he was putting a strain on him, wasn't it better they just got rid of him? There weren't enough hours in the day to fix his kind of fucked up... so why was he even around? Why did they bother to save him? * Parking in front of Hanji's, Levi climbed from his car. Both Hanji and Moblit were working, which meant Eren was home alone and after weeks of shitty split shifts, he'd finally got a rare day off, which he hoped to spend with Eren. He'd talked a little with Eren, and knew the omega wasn't handling things well. Hanji and Moblit had both said he spent most of his time in his room, so Levi hoped today's outing would perk the kid up. Normally he'd never set foot in a shitty filthy zoo. All the animals and people and shit. That was a nope. But Marco had messaged him, reaching out on Facebook to ask if he'd be up for joining him and Jean at the zoo. He wanted to invite Eren, but was scared his friend might have a panic attack from the crowds, or from Jean opening his mouth without thinking. They were going to meet up at 10, so he had just over an hour to get Eren up and dressed, before the drive. Shinganshima zoo wasn't a very big place, but like the aquarium on the opposite side of town, it conducted a lot of research, with a specialisation in breeding and trying to bring back species from the brink of extinction. Locking his Range Rover, he jogged up the path and to the front door, pressing he doorbell, before straightening out his clothes. He might have put some effort into looking good for Eren. The light grey shirt he wore hugged his chest nicely, while he'd coupled it with black jeans. Attempting causal without being a slob. When Eren didn't answer, he pressed the doorbell again, remembering how much the omega hated stairs. Giving Eren a few more minutes, he sighed to himself as he fished his keys back out, letting himself into Hanji's house "Hello? Eren?!" Closing the door behind him, he already knew Eren wouldn't be downstairs. Which meant heading up to his room. Taking the stairs two at a time, his heart dropped at the sight of Eren's open door. With how quite it was, his first thought was that Eren had run "Eren?!" "Coming!" Relief washed over him. Doubly so when the guest bathroom door opened, only for it to be snuffed out all over again when he was how distressed Eren was. Not caring about the fact Eren didn't want to be touched, the strode over to the brat and wrapped his arms around him "Hey... what happened?" Shaking his head sadly, Eren buried his face against his shirt "I don't know what to do" "Alright. Can you walk? Just to your room?" Sniffling Eren let himself be led back to his room, where he sank down onto his bed. Squatting down in front of him, Levi reached up and brushed his fringe from his face "Bad day?" "Y-yeah... s-sorry" "Wanna tell me about it?" "I... don't want to upset her" Her had to be Hanji "If it's got you this upset, I'm sure she won't mind you telling me" "I... they're going to get rid of me" "That's not happening anytime soon. She's crazy about you" "There... there was a positive test in the bathroom..." Positive test... oh... Hanji was pregnant... "I can't stay here now" "Hey, you know pregnancy isn't an instant thing. There's still months, and your room isn't the only room" "I... I don't want to stay here" Hiccuping out his words, Eren wiped at his face "Did something happen?" "I don't feel right being here..." Leaning forward, he swapped to kneeling so he could wrap his arms back around Eren "If they didn't want you here, you wouldn't be here" "It's all my fault" "It's not your fault. You haven't done anything wrong. Unless you're the one who got Hanji pregnant" "N-no... they have really loud sex... I... don't want to hear it... anymore" That's enough to scare anyone. They didn't know if anything like that had been done to Eren. They'd all suppressed the fact the omega had tested positive for syphilis, though he been treated and Levi hadn't even been told until Hanji accidentally let it slip when she'd explained the results from the syringe in Eren's arm had come back as free from prints other than his own "You've got your music right?" "Mmm... but... I can't stay here. I don't belong here. I don't belong anywhere" "Can I ask you a question?" "Y-yeah" "Have you felt like that ever since you came back here?" Eren paused, his voice filled with guilt as he replied "Yes. Hanji and Moblit try so hard... but I'm not getting better fast enough. Zeke showed me how wrong I was. How wrong I was for.. for touching their things and cleaning the house. He... he told me how wrong I was" Of course it came back to Zeke. Even dead, the arsehole still had a firm hold on Eren's mind. If Eren felt unloved and unwanted, and that his presence in the house was wrong, he was never going to make any kind of improvements. He already knew Eren was scared of sex, so hearing Hanji and Moblit boning didn't help either "You're not wrong. I'm..." Shit. He didn't know how else to fucking phrase this "I'm not saying Zeke was wrong, but everyone in the world is different. We all have different thoughts and ideas and different ways we get through life. What Zeke taught you, that was his way. It's different to how Moblit and Hanji live. I'm not saying it's wrong, only that it's different" "I don't know what's right anymore" "Eren, do you remember the offer I made you? I told you if you felt like this wasn't working, you can come live with me, or Erwin, or one of our friends" "I don't want to burden anyone else" "You are not a burden. Besides, I two spare rooms, and a cat that spends most of his time alone" "But you're an alpha" "And your an omega" "I have messed up heats... I don't want to upset you" "Eren, we don't have to spend your heats together..." Even if he really wanted to "... I can stay with Erwin, or you can come back here. The most important thing to all of us is that you're safe. I'm not saying you have to say yes right now, but think about it?" Eren nodded, still wiping at his tears "Why did you come over?" "Shit. Right. I totally forgot. We have a date" "We what?" "You, me, Jean and Marco" "Did I forget something again?" "No. Marco asked if I wanted to join them at the zoo. He wanted to ask you, but you'd need a lift so I'm just the driver. No pressure" "No pressure?" "I don't want you to feel uncomfortable, but I thought the zoo would make a nice change. You really liked the aquarium" "Marco wanted me to come?" "Yeah. He messaged me and asked when my next day off was. He also thought you might like another friend who wasn't Jean to hang out with" "Jean has a big mouth... I'm going to slow everyone down" "Why?" "The stupid boot" "The boot isn't invited" "But Hanji..." "Hanji isn't here and you've been cooped up enough. Besides, Marco is pregnant. We'll probably be taking things pretty easy" "No boot... promise?" "Yeah. Also, you have the best paramedic in the whole city with you" Eren snorted out a small laugh "You did save him before... I've... I don't know what to do. I've never been to the zoo before" "You'd never been to the aquarium either, but you still had fun" "I don't have much money either" "That's fine. Consider this an apology" "Apology for what?" "I don't know yet, but I'm likely to do something in the future I'll need to apologise for" "I don't know... you're really nice" "Not always. Just ask Titan" "I don't know what to wear" Eren seems to "not know" much more than Levi remembered him not knowing. The omega was a wreck of sour scent and insecurities. He'd known something was off, but Eren hadn't asked for his help. He should have found a way to swing by sooner "Have you showered today?" "That's what I was doing" "Ok. So what's wrong with what you've got on?" "They're my pyjamas" "I won't tell, if you don't" "I'm not wearing my pyjamas. I want to look okish" "For who?" "What do you mean "for who"?" "Who do you want to look good for?" "Me?" "I was going to say I don't think Marco would care if you showed in your pyjamas, and I wouldn't either. But this is something you want for yourself and you need to do more of that self care shit. Why don't you choose something, and I'll wait by the stairs" "Ok... I need to find my wallet and phone too... it's somewhere in here. I threw it somewhere last night" "It's probably flat them" Eren's lip trembled, despite the fact he was trying to pull himself back together "It's fine. You can use mine for photos" "But... what if you want to use it?" "It's my day off. No ones going to be stupid enough to try and talk to me" "What if there's an emergency?" "Then you'll pass it back to me, right?" "You won't be mad?" "No Eren, I'm not going to be mad. I know you like learning new things" Eren's small smile fell away "Zeke said I learned all the wrong things" "We just had this conversation brat. There's a difference between different and wrong. And everyone's interpretation of them. Ok. You didn't learn things that we consider wrong. Now go pick out some clothes" Eren emerged from his room wearing jeans and an oversized hoodie. It wasn't really hoodie weather, but Levi could see a shirt peaking out from under the hoodie. With a tiny, shy smile, he had Levi's heart racing for all the right reasons. The kid had pulled himself together, and now he was facing the world that he was so scared of. Taking each step slowly, Eren looked to him as if he was proud to be doing something as simple as walking down the stairs. At least if the kid moved in with him, he wouldn't have to worry about the stairs anymore. He'd never really thought about sharing his personal space with anyone, yet he had the feeling that if it was Eren, everything would work out in the end. The omega wouldn't be left alone for hours on his own, Titan would make sure of that. And being in the city, there was always noise and movement, not like out in the suburbs. It would also be closer to the hospital, and to Eren's therapist... they could work to getting him to the point where he could attend his session alone. As for money, it wasn't like Levi couldn't afford to take Eren in. He'd grown up having nothing after his mother died, and had worked hard to get where he was, saving every cent from the shit jobs that got him through high school, then by some miracle, he'd found himself living with Erwin and getting into medical school. It wasn't until his estranged uncle passed that he finally had proper money to get himself set up. Once his probation passed, it would be like it never happened. His job stable enough that he didn't need to worry about finding another... or it would be, provided he didn't punch anyone else. If Eren came to live with him, then all the omega would have to worry about is cleaning up after himself and working out what he wanted in his own life. Levi could and would support him any way that was possible... though it might be his own arrogance showing, but he would be happy with that kind of life "Uh, Levi? Are you ok?" Blinking back to reality, he realised he'd spaced out while watching Eren. The omega blushing slightly as he stared back "Sorry. I was day dreaming" "Do I want to know what it was about?" "Titan" "You were staring at me, while thinking of your cat" "Yep. Let's go, before he finds out" "He's a cat and he's at your place. How is supposed to find out?" "It's a cat owner thing. They know everything, and they see everything. They don't even need to be near you to be mad at you. In all honesty, you never really own a cat. It owns you. Your house. Your furniture. The soul of your first born child..." "Cats sound funny" "They are. You should have seen Titan as a kitten. Everything was too much effort for him, that and his arse was too heavy. He couldn't even climb onto the sofa because that was too much effort" "Shit. That would have been adorable" "It was. Until he finally got big enough to climb. After that, no toes were safe" "What about now?" "He's mellowed in his old age. He much prefers curling up next to you while you sleep, or stretching out and making it impossible to move" "I've never had a pet before" "Titan would love to have the company" "You said "no pressure"" "I know. I'm just saying. Anyway, in order to leave, we actually have to go" "Like outside the door?" "Yep" "God. The effort..." Walking over to the front door, Levi opened it for Eren. Eren giving him an exaggerated sigh before limping towards it "Does your ankle hurt?" "No, it's just stiff from that stupid boot. It'll loosen up" "If it starts to hurt, let me know" "Yes, Mr Doctor Levi, sir" "Sir? That's a new one, brat" Eren shrugged, heading out the door in front of him. Sir... he wasn't one for pets names, but something ran through him at the sound it it. Sir. Maybe it was Eren's answer to brat? * Sitting in Levi's car, Eren wasn't sure about the zoo thing. He was happy to see Marco, but wasn't thrilled about seeing Jean. Even if Jean didn't mean any harm, he always just spat out whatever he was thinking. When he woke up that morning, he'd never thought he'd be going to the zoo, or having a breakdown in Levi's arms. He was just grateful the he'd showered after vomiting. He was happy and excited for Hanji, she and Moblit had wanted babies for so long. But he didn't know if he could handle being around a hormonal Hanji, or a baby. He didn't know what set off his anxieties, and often he'd snap over nothing, at himself. He didn't want anything happening near the baby. Letting his eyes wander over Levi's dashboard, his attention was caught by the gold chain looping down from around the rearview mirror, a small gold turtle pendant swaying with movement of the car. That hadn't been there the last time he'd been in the car... and it was so pretty, and something Levi wouldn't have bought for himself. His heart dropped a little. If Levi hadn't bought it for himself, then someone had gifted it to him. Someone important enough that Levi had it hanging in his car, where it was a constant reminder of that person "Brat? You ok?" "Yeah. Um... how much further?" "We're nearly there. It's not a huge place, but I think you'll like it" "Have you been before?" "Nope. This one's new to me too" He was right. Zoo's weren't really Levi's thing. Was Levi really ok with going to the zoo? Staring down at his lap, he mumbled at his hands "We don't have to go if you don't want to" "I didn't say I didn't want to go" "But there must be a reason you haven't" "Because I had no one I wanted to go with before" "You have Hanji and Moblit" "Can you imagine trying to go to the zoo with Hanji? It would be a nightmare. She'd probably just get us kicked out, or get herself lost" "Then why go with me? And Jean and Marco?" "Because you're not annoying, like Hanji. And before you say you are, you're not" "But... you don't know Jean and Marco" "No, not really. I know Jean is an enormous arse, and that Marco is your best friend. They're important to you" "That's to me, not to you" Levi sighed, the man drumming his fingers on the steering wheel as they came to a stop at red light "Look. What do you want me to say?" "I want to know why you'd do this. For someone like me. You just don't seem like the kind of person who'd want to go to a zoo willingly" "You really don't know?" What was he supposed to know? He felt like he didn't know much of anything anymore, not that he really had "No?" "You're important, ok. Just like Marco is important to you, you're important to me. Now I sound like a shitty idiot. I'd planned to take you at some point, Marco just got in sooner than I did" "You wanted to take me?" "Yeah. I saw how happy the aquarium made you" "But you don't like zoos" "I thought you would like it" "But you don't" Levi sighed again "Eren, I wanted to bring you out here. I wanted, want to do things with you" "Don't you get mad at me for not knowing anything?" "No, I don't. It's honestly refreshing, spending time with you that is. Now, do you have any more questions?" "No..." "You're not going to ask about the necklace? You keep staring at it" Sprung. He hadn't meant to be so fucking obvious "It's just pretty" "Do you want to know why it's hanging there?" Yes! No. Maybe. He did, but he didn't want to hear Levi had found someone special "You don't have to tell me" "I bought it for you. When we were at the aquarium. You were so excited over the turtles, and the stone reminds me of your eyes. I was going to give it to you at some point, but then you left... and I kept it up there. To remind me of you" "What do I say to that?" "You don't have to say anything" "I didn't think... that I meant that much to you... " That didn't quite sound how he'd wanted it to sound, so rushed to add "That you'd hang a necklace up and all" "Brat. You're really fucking dense sometimes. You know I care about you" "Um... I'm sorry. I... uh, didn't mean it how it sounded" So he was important to Levi! And the alpha actually cared about him. The necklace wasn't something he'd choose for himself, but he felt stupidly happy knowing Levi had chosen it just for him, and it wasn't a gift to the alpha "Give me a minute, you can put it once we reach the zoo" "You still want me to have it?" "I bought it for you, so yes. If you don't like it, you don't have to put it on" "No. No. I like it. Thank you" He'd been so down this morning, now it felt like he was in some kind of dream. Maybe he'd lost his mind? Pulling into the zoos carpark, Levi managed to find a spot near Jean's car. His friends were making out as if they weren't in public. Blushing, he looked away from the sight "I bet they don't even realise we're here" "Probably not... come here" Taking the necklace down from around the mirror, Levi undid the clip and waited for him to lean in. Placing the necklace around his neck, Eren's heart raced at the close and intimate touch across his nape. Whining softly, he wanted to throw himself into Levi's hold, but it was over way too soon. Pulling his hand back, Levi took the small pendant into his hold "It suits you, but it's only plated, so you'll want to take it off when you shower" "Ok, thank you" He sounded out of breath. Snorting lightly, Levi pulled back completely, the moment over between them. Leaving Eren slightly disappointed Levi hadn't kissed him "Oh, Marco's noticed us" "I suppose we should probably get out of the car then" Jean and Marco were still straightening themselves out as Eren climbed from Levi's Range Rover, ending up with him seeing more of Jean than he'd wanted to. Rushing to the back of Levi's car, he shook himself off, feeling like the image of the alpha's spent junk was going to haunt him forever "You ok, you look a little pale" "I just saw Jean's dick... it... was gross" Levi laughed openly, reaching out and pulling him into a hug "Who would have thought shy little Marco had it in him?" "Of course he's had it in him, he's pregnant" "Fuck, brat. I've missed your sarcasm" "I've been traumatised" "They're your friends" Pulling away from Levi, he really wished the alpha hadn't hugged him. Knowing Jean and Marco were sexual deviants was one thing, but he didn't want to see it... now Jean and Marco were going to smell like sex. Couldn't they have got it out there system before they'd gotten to zoo? Or even once they got inside. Somewhere where he didn't have to see it! "Not when they're... can we just go? They can catch up" "Are you ok?" "It's nothing" "Eren" "It's nothing ok. Let's just go" Marco didn't even seem sorry as he and Jean finally joined them. His friend was blushing, and they'd both sprayed down with scent cancellers, but Eren still stayed close to Levi. There were so many people around, that his chest felt tight... and he felt hot. The day was bright and sunny, not really long sleeve weather. He just didn't want Jean saying anything about his cast. Or asking anything about where he'd been "You ok, brat?" "I'm ok... it's just a bit warm" "Why don't you take your hoodie off then?" "No. It's ok" Pulling his phone out, Levi passed it over to him "Take as many photos as you want to" "Are you sure?" "Yeah. Go for it. We can get them printed if you want. Don't worry if you drop it. The case is shock and waterproof" He hadn't been worried about dropping Levi's phone until now. Taking the device gingerly, he now has something else to fear. Armed with his own phone, Marco looped his arm through his, taking Eren's casted hand in his hold "Hey. I was hoping you'd make it... sorry about the carpark, my hormones are out of control. Anywaaaaay. We should get going, there's so much to see here" Levi had said the place wasn't that big... Jean slung his arm over Marco's shoulder, effectively pulling Marco away from him. If that was how it was going to be, why had Marco even invited him? * Levi knew it wasn't Marco's intention to disclude Eren, but the omega was with his alpha and the pair were in a world of their own. He'd call Eren over to show him something, only for Jean to take Marco's attention away from Eren, and for Eren to retreat further into himself. He didn't like it. What was the point of even inviting Eren, Marco was going to spend all his time with Jean. He'd had enough. Eren'd been so happy, and each time he went to share it with Marco, Marco was caught up in Jean. Wrapping his arm around Eren's waist, he placed himself between the two omegas "Eren, can I borrow you for a moment. You guys can go on ahead" Marco frowned, but Jean kissed his mates temple "Just don't take too long, right babe?" "Uh. Yeah... we'll be around here somewhere" Leading Eren in the opposite direction, the omega began to slow, before coming to a stop "Levi, where are we going?" "Just come with me" "But..." "Eren, come with me" "Ok" Pulling the omega back to the start of the mammal area they were in, Levi stopped at the large sign explaining what mammals are "What are doing?" "I can't stand it" "Can't stand what?" "Marco and Jean are off in their own world, and I know he's your best friend, but you look so sad. I know we've been walking around for a while now, and if I could, I would drag you all the way back the entrance of the zoo, so we could do this all over again" Eren's eyes filled with tears, the omega throwing his arms around him "You don't need to cry" "I thought I did something wrong" "No. You've done nothing wrong, and I bet Marco doesn't even know how bad you feel. And really warm..." Moving to place his palm against Eren's forehead, he frowned at the heat he found. A quick glance of the area, showed a shaded bench. Leading him over, he sat Eren down "Here, take your hoodie off" "Why?" "Because you're overheating. You're probably already dehydrating" "I..." "I'm a trained medical professional, listen to me about this, please" "I don't want to make a fuss about the cast" "Eren, I'm not going to make a fuss about the cast" "Jean..." "Don't fucking listen to that horsefaced arse. Seriously, after all the shit he's said to you... he's just not worth it" Unzipping his hoodie, Levi took it from the omega before he decided he still needed it on. The shirt Eren had on beneath was thin enough to see that he'd definitely lost more weight, again "Better?" "Um... yeah, it is" "We need to get some fluids into you too" "You don't need to worry about me" "Then don't do things that make me worry" "I don't mean to" "I know you don't. But I'll still worry for you, even if you tell me not to. Now, I'm going to go find you a bottle of water, you're going to drink it slowly, then we're going to back past all these animals, and you're going to tell me all their names, and if you can't read them, I'll break it down for you" Visibly swallowing, Eren nodded quickly "I'd really like that" Leaning in, Levi kissed his forehead "Stay right here. I promise I'll be back" "Really?" "You have my phone, I might hate the thing, but it's too much bother to activate a new one" Eren gave him a sweet smile as he ducked his head "I'll be back soon" * Feeling like an idiot, Eren sat there holding Levi's phone. The alpha keep seeing right through him, like his walls didn't exist. He'd never thought Levi would pull him away from Marco, but with Jean at Marco's side, he couldn't really as his friend the proper names for things. Staring down at Levi's phone screen, he smiled at the photo of Titan that was his background. The fat cat looked smug as fuck, and completely adorable. Jumping as the device started to call, he eyed Hanji's name on the screen. Levi said calls weren't important, and it was wrong to answer someone else's phone, but it was Hanji... Levi wouldn't be mad if he answered? Looking up, he couldn't see the alpha anywhere, and he realised just how alone he was. Marco and Jean were missing, and Levi was missing. No. They knew where they were. He was the lost one. Drawing his knees up, he answered the call "Levi! Levi, Levi! Please tell me you're not working!" "H-Hanji?" "Eren? Is that you sweetheart?" "Y-Yes" "Oh thank god. I've been trying to call you. Are you with Levi?" "Sorry... my phones at home" "Are you ok? Did something happen?" "I'm ok. Levi will be back soon" "Honey, where are you? Are you alone?" "I'm at the zoo. Marco and Jean are here too" "Is Marco there?" "He and Jean are together somewhere" "And Levi?" "He went to get drinks" "So you're alone" "Levi's coming back" "Stay on the phone with me until he does" Eren bit his lip. Hanji sounded mad at him... she didn't usually call when she was at work, so he didn't think so message her, or Moblit to let them know Levi was taking him out "Eren?" "I'm still here" "Why didn't you tell me you were going out?" "I didn't know... Marco and Levi arranged it. Levi picked me up this morning" Shit. He was fucking crying. Like a fucking idiot. He couldn't stop. He'd made Hanji mad "Eren?" "I'm sorry! My phones flat and you don't call when you're at work! I didn't know... I didn't think.. I'm sorry" "Oh, honey. No. I was worried you'd taken off, when you didn't answer" He knew it. She was still mad that he'd left. She was mad at him. She hadn't forgiven him. He was still a bad omega... it wasn't... it wasn't like he'd thought he'd be gone for so long. "Eren" Rushing to his side, Levi took his phone from him. The alpha sinking down beside him smoothly wrapping his arm around his shaking form "H-Hanji" "Hanji can wait. Here, I need you to sip this for me. Ok?" "She... she's mad at me" "I'm sure she's not. She's probably mad because I didn't think to message her about all this" Opening the bottle of water, Levi pressed it into his hand "Small sips for me, while I talk to Hanji" "I... I'll pay you back for this" "It's fine. Now drink up" It wasn't fine. He'd have to find a way to pay Levi back... because he was really thirsty, but he hadn't paid for the water. Sipping it, Levi smoothly explained everything to Hanji. Eren coming out and back in when Levi said he was taking him out to dinner and that Eren was spending the night at his. It only took Levi a few minutes to sort everything out, hanging up with a sigh "See, nothing to worry about" "Are you sure?" "Yeah. She jumped to panic mode. Then she thought you might be sleeping, so was going to send me around to make sure you got out of bed" "I'm not a little kid" "I know. Now drink your water" Eren pouted, but did as Levi said. Slowly he worked at the bottle until it was half empty "I don't think I can drink anymore right now" "That's fine. Just make sure you keep sipping. Have you cooled down?" "Yeah... will you um, help me with the names now?" "Sure thing, brat" Most animals he knew the basic names for, things like the foxes were pretty cool. The fennec foxes were adorable, and so were the sloths in their own unique way. Meerkats were absolutely adorable, and one he hadn't known... but was able to work out the word on his own. All this things he'd wanted to share with Marco, he could share with Levi. His hand finding Levi's and not letting go as they moved from enclosure to enclosure, until they finally reached where they'd parted with Jean and Marco, saddened to see they were no where close "Hey, Marco really wanted you to be here. He probably didn't think it would end up like this" "I know... I mean, I know he hardly gets to spend time with Jean and their bonded and he's pregnant..." "I'm just sorry they don't get to see how happy and excited you look" "I probably look stupid" "No. You really don't. You, uh..." Levi paused to scratch the back of his head "... look cute" Blaming his burning face on the sunshine. He hated how good Levi made him feel. Wandering into the next area, it was a large grassed picnic area. Marco and Jean were still missing "Do you want me to message them?" "No. They're probably, busy" "Well the left path leads to the birds, while the right leads to the reptiles" "Reptiles" "You don't want to see the birds?" "Birds shouldn't be kept in cages. It's sad" "I thought it would be because you don't like them" "I'm scared of them. We talked about this, I'm sure" "We did. So reptiles?" "If that's ok?" "Reptiles it is. Just don't think I'm going to be touching anything in there" "Wait. You don't like snakes?" "I have a healthy respect for them, when they're behind glass and no where near me" "You don't like things slithering into your bed?" "The only snake I don't mind handling is the one in my pants" Snorting, Eren shook his head "One eyed trouser snakes don't count" Levi raised an eyebrow, an almost smirk on his lips "You know that one?" "Mhmm. Zeke liked reptiles. Did you know legless lizards have tiny legs?" "I did. Although I don't know if I'm impressed or scared that you do?" "I didn't have any books. Zeke had a couple on snakes and reptiles... but they went missing" He'd only got to flick through them a few times before they disappeared from Zeke's room. He didn't ask what happened. If they were gone, then Zeke didn't want them anymore "Lets go see what they have" Would Zeke have liked the zoo? His brother didn't... hadn't seemed really into animals. They never had pets... * Fucking Zeke. For a moment Levi thought Eren had his own interests in reptiles, but it came back to fucking Zeke. He was done with the man. They could cremate him and throw him out the window for all he cared. Holding Eren's hand tight, he walked into the reptile house with the omega. Eren had no way of knowing he'd once witnessed a death from snake bite. It hadn't been pretty. Not after being bitten a dozen times to the face. The tongue swollen so large the owners mouth was blocked completely. His tongues and lips purple and black, and the stink of the rotten body... nope. That was a big nope. Eren didn't need to know this. Leaning him over to the first enclosure, Eren's eyes widened at the green snake. It was tiny, barely noticeable "Imagine having a snake that small" "Really brat?" "It's tiny" "Still probably bigger than Jean's" Eren giggled, before covering his mouth with his hand "We need to find someone else we don't like" "I don't know many of your friends" "You'll meet them. Especially around Christmas. Hanji insists on starting her celebrations in November and going right through until January. Last year was a bit of an exception, due to her marrying Moblit" "Oh! Hey, do you know what 12 25 means?" "Christmas?" Eren frowned at him "What is it?" "Hanji told me to make it my PIN number, but I don't know why" Shitty Glasses. Eren had no idea it was his birthday, and no doubt she would have laughed to herself about it "Probably because it's Christmas Day, and it's kind of hard to forget it" "Wouldn't my birthday be easier?" "And more predictable. Let's continue through here?" He was done looking at snakes already. Even lizards were creepy fuckers, marginally better, but only by a tiny margin. They had scales. They were wankers. And then it happened. It was his fucking bad luck that they were giving a talk by the time they'd rounded the interior of the reptile house, Eren's eyes huge as they settled on the boa laying across the handlers shoulders. Taking a half step behind Eren, he was not ashamed to admit that he was fucking hiding. Snakes shouldn't be that fucking big, but at the same time, all fucking snakes should be that big so you can see those fuckers... but a big snake meant big fangs. Fuck it. Burn them all with fire "It's sooooo pretty. Levi, look at it" Nope. One of the advantages of being vertically challenged was that he didn't have to. Eren was tall enough to hide behind and brush it off as comforting gesture for the omega. A hug with his face buried against Eren's shoulder salvaged his alpha image "Mhmm. Pretty. Yeah" "Do you think they'll let us touch it?" "Probably not" The woman giving the talk continued on for a few more minutes, before offering "pats" to the crowd. He didn't even get to protest, before Eren was slipping out his hold and over to the snake... which seemed to take an immediate liking to him, it's vile form slithering up Eren's arm "You can take photos, but please, no flash" "Levi, can you please take a photo?" No. He didn't want a permanent reminder of this moment... but the bright look Eren gave him as turned back to ask was impossible to say no to. Talked through things by the handler, the demon spawn was laid over Eren's shoulders. Levi mentally glaring at the thing for making his ome... for making his friend so happy. Snapping a few photos, he nodded and the handler lifted the snake from Eren's shoulders. Thanking the woman, Eren returned to his side "Did you see that?" "I did" "It was so heavy!" Taking Eren's hand, the omega was too happy to notice they were making a beeline for the exit. Eren could basically as him for any other pet in the world and he'd agree, provided it wasn't one of those scaly abominations "That was so cool... I wonder if Marco would have held the snake" "He doesn't seem as brave as you are" Eren blushed slightly "I'm not brave" "I think you're very brave" "I'm not... I'm just doing the best I can, and it hasn't been very good lately" "Want to talk about it?" "Not really..." Emerging near the nocturnal animal house, Eren swayed beside him. Levi barely catching him as the omega dropped, a hand coming to touch his forehead "Eren!" "Sorry. I just got a bit dizzy" "Just dizzy? Do you feel light headed dizzy, or sick dizzy?" "There's a difference?" "Shit" People were starting to whisper and stare. Eren was already recovering, but the attention would freak him. Pulling him up and close, the omega leaned heavily against him as his stomach let out a strange gurgle. He was such a fucking idiot. He'd had Eren walking around for hours without thinking about the fact he probably hadn't had breakfast "Let's find somewhere to get lunch" "What..." "When's the last time you ate?" "Last night..." "You need food. I'm an idiot" "What? No, you're not. I'm not hungry" "Your stomach says otherwise. Come over here" On the side of hell in a house, there was a map of the zoo. The nocturnal house came out near the cafe area "Ok. We're going to get food, then we'll double back so you can look at the nocturnal animals" "We don't have to" "Your hungry, and now I'm thinking about food, I'm hungry" He wasn't hungry. His stomach was knotted with worry for Eren. If he voiced his thoughts, Eren would only protest that he was ok. With how light he felt, Levi was sure Eren wasn't eating properly. Eren tried to drag his feet as they walked through the nocturnal enclosure, but Levi wasn't having it. Making it through, the cafe area was actually really pretty. It had an Asian vibe, walled on two sides by thick bamboo stalks, the lush greenery swaying softly in the breeze "Wow" "Yeah" The cafe was set in an older turn of the century styles building, with a wide veranda area, the long central step lead down another decked eating area, after that was grass which circle around a flowing pond "This is so pretty" "Food first, then we can admire the view" "Oh. Hold on..." Sliding his wallet out with his left hand, Eren fumbled it into Levi's "Brat?" "Let me pay. Please?" "You want to pay for lunch?" "Yeah. You paid at the aquarium, so it's like fair, right" "I don't mind paying" "Levi, please let me pay for this. I want to do this" Letting go of Eren's hand, he took the kid's visa from his wallet "Alright. But only because you asked so nicely" "Thank you... it's really hard. Hanji and Moblit won't let me pay for anything. I don't like it" They didn't let him pay because they loved him "Let's find somewhere to sit. You look like you could use a break, in the shade" "I'm fine now" "Are you ignoring directions from a paramedic?" "I would never" "Cheeky shit" Settling Eren so he had back and right side blind spots covered by the wall, Levi dropped a kiss on the top of his head "I'll be right back" "Can you bring back a receipt?" "You want a receipt?" "Yeah" He had no idea why, maybe the omega's anxieties were getting the better of him, or his lack of independence. Choosing two ham and salad rolls, along with two flavoured milks, Levi went to pay for it all with Eren's card, only for it to be declined. Even with their meal costing nearly $30, well it was $26 but that was close enough, it was still declined. He knew Eren should have money from dancing in his account, along with the money Hanji had insisted on putting in there to pay for the cleaning Eren did around the house. It shouldn't have been declined. Paying with his own card, he binned the two receipts that said declined, before heading back out to Eren. Settling down beside him, he handed him the receipt and his card, thankfully it didn't say that it was Levi's card he'd used "Thanks" "Do I want to know about the receipt?" "It's.. stupid. It's got the zoo details and stuff, and I don't want to forget today" Eren wasn't lying, but he also wasn't saying everything. Letting it slide, he pulled his phone back out, sending Hanji a quick text to tell her to check into Eren's finances. He didn't want to believe Zeke would sink low enough to take Eren's money, but he couldn't think of another reason why it would be declined. "They're you guys are! Where were you?" Still mulling over the declined thing, he'd failed to notice Marco and Jean returning. Even more small red marks were on Marco's neck. Great. The pair were off fucking while Eren was hurting over thinking he'd done something wrong. Sitting down across from Eren, Marco smiled at him while Jean mumbled something about getting lunch "We waited for you guys" "Sorry, Hanji called and I got stuck talking to her. She didn't know anything about today" Marco groaned "The baby isn't even here and I have total baby brain. I'm so sorry. What do you think of it all?" "It's really pretty" "Isn't it? Where have you been?" "Just in the mammal section, then the reptile house" "Jean and I, went and saw the birds. You have to go. They have so many, and some of them are huge" Nice to know they'd "waited". Returning to the table, Jean placed a number down before sitting next to Marco, wrapping his arm around him "Where did you two go?" "They went to the reptile house" Eren nodded at Marco's explanation "I got to hold a snake" "You didn't!" "Mhmm. Levi got photos for me" "Why would you want to hold a snake? They're not that interesting" Eren slumped. The effect of Jean's words immediate "I don't know. The thing was bigger than him" "Snakes are gross" "He's pretty good at handling them, especially the big ones" Eren coughed as he choked. The connotations flying right over Jean's head "They're the worst. Nah. Smaller ones are better" Continuing to choke, Levi patted Eren's back until he regained his breath, still coughing slightly as he shook his head "The handler was explaining how the smaller ones, like newborn snakes are even more dangerous than the big ones. The don't know how to hold back the amount of venom they deliver, not like the big ones. You're more likely to die from a small snake" God. The brat was killing him. Placing his hand on Eren's thigh, he squeezed firmly. Jean just sat there and looked dumb, while Marco wrinkled his nose "I saw plenty of snakes growing up. I am in no rush to ever see one again" "Let's stop talking about them, yeah?" "Mmm. Sound good, babe" Kissing Jean, it felt like they were once again being pushed to the outside. Eren hadn't even touched his food after pulling off the tiny bit of bun he'd choked on "Oh! I didn't notice before, is that necklace new? It looks good" Eren's hand went to turtle "Yeah. It was gift" "It reminds me of the watch Jean got me for our anniversary, it was 9 carat with a blue face. That's what reminded me it" He wanted to shake Marco. If he was like this every time he was Jean, he'd have to seriously rethink letting Eren see him with the alpha around. No. Shit. Eren wasn't his fucking property. He had no right to say who Eren could and couldn't see. If he did say something, he'd be no better than Zeke "Levi got it for me, when we went to the aquarium" The aquarium was definitely always going to be a special place for them. He could see the fondness on Eren's face when he mentioned it "I like this place better" And once again Eren slumped at Marco's words. God. The kid didn't get it all. He was just trying to keep the conversation going, and really didn't realise how upset Eren was. He loved Marco, and Marco was hurting him without intending to "I'm not so sure. This place has its charms, but it doesn't have sharks and cat fish" "That's true. I haven't found another grump Levi" Breaking his roll up further, Eren picked the smallest piece to eat. His own roll had half disappeared between his words. He needed to talk to Hanji about Eren's eating habits. This was ridiculous... though if the omega did come live with him, he'd make him whatever he could, when he wanted. Maybe Eren didn't like things and didn't want to upset Hanji and Moblit? "So, what's going on with you two? You seem pretty close" "Levi's my friend" Jean snorted "Alpha's aren't just friends with omega's" Slapping his mates arm gently, Marco shook his head "Eren could be friends with anyone. He's so nice that he just seems to draw people to him" "You're the nice one" Leaning in, Jean nuzzled into Marco's neck, while Eren squirmed beside Levi. The omega wasn't ok with watching this. The omega hadn't been ok with sex before he'd left, this was probably an overload for him. He prayed to whatever powers were out there, that the food would arrive soon. This time, whatever or whoever was up there, actually listened. Eren barely ate half his roll, until Jean teased him about how long he was taking. The omega finishing it in three more bites as if to piss Jean off. It wasn't the best reason to finish a meal, but Eren needed all the calories he could get. The omega may have had Zeke controlling his meals for years, and "teaching" him all the wrong things when it came to eating, but Levi didn't give two shits. What he'd like was for Eren to put on more weight. When he'd met the brat, he'd had some curves, toned curves that had fallen away. Dancing was a hard enough activity, Eren didn't need to be punishing himself over something like eating and trying to look beautiful. Yes the omega was gorgeous, and as erotic as fuck, but Levi cared for the spirit inside the body. For all he cared the brat could put on 500kilos and still be beautiful. He knew it wasn't Hanji's nor Moblit's faults that Eren's bad habits had slipped through their combined radars again. All of them lead busy jobs, their minds never really stopping to rest. He just cursed the fact the Eren felt he needed to starve himself because of Zeke. Marco brushed Jean off after lunch, taking Eren by the hand and leading him from the deck while Levi and Jean were left to awkwardly follow while not wanting to talk to each other or even breathe the same air. He could smell sex on both of them, only serving to piss him off further. He knew pregnant omegas did tend to get ridiculously fucking horny, but most of them took care of it much more discreetly, and not while on what was a "date" with their best friends. Still. He pushed down his annoyance and followed back to the nocturnal animals, getting a few photos of Eren with Marco for Eren's sake. The pair had started whispering about something, and though Levi was sure it wasn't, he hoped there was some kind of apology in Marco's words. From the nocturnal house, the headed back out and towards the exit, Marco saying he was getting tired, while Eren's face had paled. They made a quick stop at the petting zoo, Eren's face lighting up at petting two small deer fawns, while Marco got head butted lightly in the stomach by a third. Was it bad to feel smug over that? It wasn't like the tiny tap hurt the baby, it just felt like karma had taken its revenge in the way Eren would best approve... if the brat believed in taking revenge and all that. From there was the gift shop, where Marco practically dragged Eren straight through telling him how everything was over priced. That didn't mean the kid shouldn't get to at least look. He didn't know the money he'd worked for was gone. Following them out, Marco continued to cling to Eren until they reach their cars. It was there that Eren finally lost his stomach, throwing up at the back of Levi's Range Rover, while Marco backed away and shot him a worried look "It's fine guys. He got a little dehydrated before, I've got it from here" "Are you sure?" "Yeah. Thanks for today" "Eren, message me later, ok? It was good to see you again" Eren nodded, but didn't reply. He was leaning heavily against the back of the car. With Jean needing to get into his own car, Levi moved to place his hand against the small of Eren's back so the omega wouldn't be hurt while Jean reversed. Vomiting again, Eren whimpered as his knees started to fold. Fresh tears ran down Eren's face and his smell was rancid. The poor kid was embarrassed as fuck over all of this "It's ok. Here, hold onto me" "'s on my hand" Normally he'd flinch, even at work it was hard to deal with sticky hands "It's ok. Right now, I would rather keep you standing for the few more seconds" Leaning against him, Eren buried his face into Levi's shoulder, his words mumbled "I'm sorry" "No, you've got nothing to be sorry about" "I got sick" "So?" "I ruined everything" "Nope" "I did... I do" "You don't ruin everything. You've had a long tiring day, emotionally and physically" As Jean pulled away, Marco waved. Ignoring him, Levi lifted Eren off his feet and carried him to the passenger side door. Keeping Eren balanced with his knee, he fumbled his car open and got the omega inside "I'm sorry" "No more sorries. You're staying at my place tonight, and it's much closer than Hanji's" "I don't want to be a burden" "You're not a burden. I never would have offered if I thought you were" Clipping Eren in, he kissed the omega's forehead "We've got a half hour drive, so go ahead and nap if you feel like it" Nodding, Eren wriggled and tried to get comfortable. The zoo might not have gone over as well as the aquarium, but he still fucking happy he'd got to see it with Eren.

[lorenzoamkz986]

Gout Diet Plan

Content

Sugary Foods

Pertaining To Joint Inflammation.

When To See A Doctor.

Gout Arthritis: For How Long Does It Last As Well As What Can You Do To Boost Your Signs?

However prevent fasting or rapid weight loss, since doing so may temporarily raise uric acid degrees. Some individuals may never ever experience gout symptoms and signs again. Others might experience gout several times annually.

Acupressure is a type of stiff, deep massage therapy done only with bare hands. Massage professionals use the hands, thumbs as well as fingertips to execute the massage. Movements are made with the hands in firm yet smooth way on specific stress factors on the body. Traditional massage therapy and acupressure vary because conventional massage therapy adopts use of massage oils. Our Sustaining companions are energetic champs who give inspiration and also aid to the joint inflammation community.

Sugary Foods

How do you get rid of gout crystals naturally?

Tophi natural treatments 1. Cherries. Eating cherries, even over a short period of time, can reduce the amount of gout attacks you experience.

2. Vitamin C. This vitamin can help lower the amount of uric acid in your blood.

3. Coffee. Having a little coffee each day can also reduce your risk of developing gout.

4. Dairy products.

Related To Arthritis.

Alcohols can boost the danger of gout attacks. When the body breaks down alcohol, uric acid is produced and also discharging of uric acid in the pee is slowed down.

When To See A Medical Professional.

What is the best painkiller for gout pain?

Ibuprofen (Motrin) is a typical non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug (NSAID) used for management of acute gout pain. "If you don't have renal disease, NSAIDs are the best drugs for pain management," says Leisen.

Gout Pain: How Long Does It Last As Well As What Can You Do To Enhance Your Signs?

This method is a lot more extensively made use of in Europe than in the USA. Joint X-rays can be handy to eliminate other causes of joint swelling.

What Can You Consume If You Have Gout Pain?

The weight of any type of clothing or bedding material possibly will include in your pain. Putting ice on the affected joint will certainly lower the swelling. The best place to be during a gout attack is in bed. " In my hospital-based technique, gout pain is one of the most common sort of arthritis I see, a lot more usual than rheumatoid arthritis."

Here's how to select low-purine foods to ensure that gout signs will certainly be much less most likely. Being obese increases the risk of developing gout pain, and also dropping weight reduces the risk of gout arthritis. Research study recommends that lowering the number of calories and also dropping weight-- even without a purine-restricted diet regimen-- reduced uric acid degrees and also reduce the variety of gout attacks.

Considering that the requirements of the adolescent joint inflammation neighborhood are unique, we are currently working with experts to create a customized experience for JA households. Currently is the moment to make your voice count, on your own and the whole arthritis community. UNDERSTANDINGS assessment, you'll be amongst those altering lives today and changing the future of joint inflammation, for yourself as well as for 54 million others. The Joint inflammation Foundation is concentrated on discovering a remedy and also championing the fight against arthritis with life-changing info, advocacy, scientific research and area. Solid, outspoken and also engaged volunteers will certainly assist us overcome arthritis.

Uric acid degrees will certainly after that be checked after about a month, as well as the dose will be increased by 100mg if the levels have not come down to within the regular array.

Allopurinol is available as 100mg and also 300mg tablet computers, so also if you are on a greater dosage you need to not have to take several tablets.

Her uric acid degrees are well within the typical variety currently.

She started on a reduced dosage of allopurinol as well as now takes 300mg daily.

The red-purple pigments in the fruit-- called anthocyanins-- have effective antioxidant and anti-inflammatory properties and are believed to offer protection.

Lemon juice has been located to have a number of wellness advantages, including lowering the danger of kidney stones. Recent research reveals that this citrus fruit juice might also help in reducing gout symptoms.

What foods are bad for gout?

High-Purine Foods Include:

Alcoholic beverages (all types) Some fish, seafood and shellfish, including anchovies, sardines, herring, mussels, codfish, scallops, trout and haddock. Some meats, such as bacon, turkey, veal, venison and organ meats like liver.

Have your blood sugar level degree inspected when you visit your medical professional. This is very important even if you do not have diabetic issues mellitus.

Lemon Juice As A Treatment For Gout Pain.

Went to see my medical professional possibly this kind of time in 2014. And also I agreed to go on to allopurinol gout medication, although we didn't go for the optimum dosage to start with yoga para bajar la presion arterial - started on a reduced dose. In 2014 I was obtaining a lot of instances and also it was spoiling points because I have a pastime that I appreciate, and also if I would certainly obtained gout I could not pursue it up until the gout pain had gone.

[thatoctokittenclutchinganotebook]

I normally write bad self-insert fanfiction of me in my favourite fandoms but I just can’t really do that for the Mechanisms.  Like: Ashes threw the match onto the kindling just as Tam rounded the corner. It went up rapidly, a perfectly built bonfire sending up a tower of smoke. The newest Mechanism paled, put her hand over her face, and ran back the way they’d come. Ashes heard them let out a terrible hacking cough as the smoke rose. Later: “Why did you run? What, are you scared of fire or something?” “N- well, yes, actually, I am, terrified, but I ran away because of the smoke? It makes me cough really badly. I reckon it’s asthma but the doctor- my gp, not carmilla- said I was just too fat.” “Doesn’t your mechanism take care of that?” “My Mechanism isn’t my lungs. And I’m immortal, not invulnerable.” “...Right. So why are you scared of fire? Is it just the smoke?” “No, I just don’t like fire.” “Did you have a trauma or something?” “No? It just scares me. Like if I’m holding a sparkler I get really scared it’ll burn me.” Ashes could not comprehend this.  The newest Mechanism scared at Johnny in horror. “You can’t just kill these people!” Johnny paused. “Why not?” “Because- because it’s wrong!” Johnny waited for the real argument, because that one didn’t make sense. No further words were forthcoming.  “...Right. Okay then.” He turned around and continued shooting people. “So what instrument do you play?” Tam looked confused. “I... don’t, really? I mean, I sing-” “No, we already have a lead singer.” Johnny said, gesturing at himself. “What instrument do you do?” Tam bit their lip. “Uh. I played ukulele for a while? But I had to give it up. Chronic pain in my wrists.” Johnny looked at the other Mechanisms. Tim mouthed “Ukulele?” In utter disbelief. “You’d better at least be good at it.” Raphaella commented.  Tam paled. “Uh. I can play Jolene by Dolly Parton?” Nastya facepalmed in a corner.

Gunpowder Tim decided to try and welcome the newest Mechanism by teaching them to shoot. 

They followed along, seeming a little nervous and reluctant.  Tim figured maybe they just thought they wouldn’t be any good at it, until he fired his first shot and heard a yelp next to him as Tam flinched and jumped nearly a foot into the air. “Wh- you knew I was going to shoot, what was that for?” “Sorry! I’m just really jumpy!” “Why?” “I don’t know? I jump at everything. Doorbells, fireworks,people talking when I didn’t expect it-” “But you did expect this. I told you I was going to fire it. You were watching me.” The newest mechanism looked down, abashed. “I didn’t expect it to be so loud...” “Why are you taking so many pills with your breakfast? Are they good ones?” Tam paused. “I guess? They do what they’re meant to.” “Do they make you high, or?” “Huh? No, why would- no, I take these every day. They’re antidepressants, painkillers,   anti anxiety, some stuff for my stomach-” “You’re immortal! Why do you need all that?” Tam stared at him uncomprehendingly. “I... have anxiety? And depression? I’ve been taking antidepressants of some kind or another since I was 14-” “That- can’t be just antidepressants. That’s a lot of pills.” Tam brightened. “Oh yeah! It’s all sorts tbh. Stomach protection, painkillers, antidepressants, antihistamines, vitamins. I did a song to keep track.” They started singing to the tune of “Riddle of the Sphinx” 6 pills in the morning 2 tablets at noon 4 more in the evening-” “You’re immortal!” “But not invulnerable!" 

“But you’re still anxious about everything, do they even work?” “Oh, they work.” Tam’s eyes went very serious. “You didn’t know me before.” The idea of an even more anxious and scared person was a tiny bit intimidating, in a very weird way. 

The crew gathered in the dining hall. Ashes was making cocktails, Johnny was drinking whiskey, and the newest Mechanism was- Sitting in the corner drinking fruit juice? Tim eyed the glass. “Has that got vodka in it or something?” Tam shook their head. “No, it’s just pineapple juice.”

Tim frowned. “There’s loads of alcohol around, as long as you don’t steal Johnny’s whiskey you can grab some of it.”

“No thanks, I don’t really like alcohol. Thanks though.”

Raphaella, a few feet away, made a spluttering noise. “You don’t like alcohol?” “I just don’t really like the taste?”

Enough was enough. Johnny was the Captain, and he called a Crew Meeting. Tam wasn’t invited.  “Is this about Tam?” Nastya asked.  “I’m pushing her out the airlock. You’re not allowed to let them back in.” “Fair enough.”

[adistantstarblog]

Wild Earth: Lost at Sea

Rated: Mature | Words: 2320 | Chapter Title: Lost at Sea | Chapter: 14/ | Other Notes: Fanfic, Alternate Universe, Clexa

(Start at the Beginning)

(Back to Chapter 13)

Chapter Excerpt:  “We won’t be rescued Clarke,” Lexa said point blank to her.  Across from her the blonde’s face shifted a little as though in confusion.  Lexa continued anyway, “not in time.”

“What?” Clarke asked, “why ..why not? There was a storm, your boat went down…”

“It did, yes.” Lexa’s voice was short. It caught both of their attention and she took a minute to breathe before continuing, “I can be gone for weeks at a time, Clarke. No body even knows I am missing.  And you---” Lexa saw the second Clarke understood what she was saying. It was all over the blonde gir’s face.  Clarke went on, “no one knows I am gone either because following you I can be gone for weeks too.”

The little orange raft bobbed around on calm water.  Lexa opened her eyes and found herself on her back looking up at a blue clear sky. But the calm sight was only a harbinger to her that instantly cued the memories of the night before.

They’d been caught by a tropical storm.

Lexa shot to sit up.

Her boat was at the bottom of the sea.

She clutched at rubber life-raft with just one hand.  The other one hurt with crippling pain when she tried to move it and it winded her and left her gasping a second for breath.

She’d broken her wrist.

Clarke had done something to it.  She remembered that too. She remembered hearing someone screaming and remembered when she knew the screaming was coming from her.  The pain of Clarke moving bones back into place in her wrist had been …unbearable.

Lexa looked down very slowly at the broken appendage to find it splinted and bandaged. Lying on a pile made of a back pack and two folded emergency blankets.  

“Easy.” Clarke’s voice was quiet and from a few feet away.  Lexa glanced to find she had taken up residence in the other side of the raft, sitting with her back against it and her knees pulled up. Blonde hair blew in slight wind, “you’ve been out for almost twelve hours.”

Lexa ripped her eyes away from the blonde.  Clamoring to her knees she turned at the same time and used her good hand to grip the rope handles of the raft and pull herself up to her knees to look around them.  But all she saw was endless water surrounding them as far as she could see, stopped only by the distant horizon, “we’re in the ocean.” her voice was too dry. It actually hurt to talk.   

In response, Clarke finally shifted to her hands and knees, grabbed a canteen from near her and crawled over to where lexa was, “here.” she offered it out.  Lexa studied the blonde for just a second more before letting go of the rope. She sat back on her knees and took the water.  She tried to move her other hand to open it but found she couldn’t.  She needed this drink.  Who knew how long it had been without water. Looking at the lid on the canteen she wasn’t quite sure--

“I got it.” Clarke said. She reached out and opened the canteen and then moved to sit on her knees again.  Lexa stared at the opened lid.  She stared over at Clarke and then at the canteen again, “thank you.” she said quietly. Clarke only nodded at her. Lifting the canteen to her lips, Lexa took a drink. It was warm and tasted a bit like the container but it still felt good on her dry throat.  She allowed herself only two more swallows before lowering the canteen, “we have to conserve water.” she spoke while holding the canteen out.  Clarke’s face crinkled a little but she reached over and screwed the lid back on before taking the canteen, backing up with it, and putting it back into the bag.

Watching her Clarke offered, “there is another container in your bag, and I have half of one in mine. I think we can make it until we are rescued or drift back in to land.”

“We won’t be rescued Clarke,” Lexa said point blank to her.  Across from her the blonde’s face shifted a little as though in confusion.  Lexa continued anyway, “not in time.”

“What?” Clarke asked, “why ..why not? There was a storm, your boat went down…”

“It did, yes.” Lexa’s voice was short. It caught both of their attention and she took a minute to breathe before continuing, “I can be gone for weeks at a time, Clarke. No body even knows I am missing.  And you---” Lexa saw the second Clarke understood what she was saying. It was all over the blonde gir’s face.  

Clarke went on, “no one knows I am gone either because following you I can be gone for weeks too.”

Lexa nodded.

Clarke sighed and looked at the bag she had brought. But then her face lit up and she scrambled toward her bag and unzipped it and pulled the tablet out.  Lexa wasn’t sure what she was doing but Clarke seemed really intent on whatever it was as she turned it on and looked up at the sky before looking at the tablet again.  Clarke tapped her fingers on the edges of it, “you're waterproof. Turn on, turn on….. why are you taking so long?” she was talking to the piece of technology as though it could hear her as she did this Lexa raised an eyebrow at her, “you want to ..email for help? Go on skype maybe?”

Clarke looked up at her in surprise as though she’d forgotten she was there, “this doesn’t have email. Its,” she took a deep breath because it seemed she needed it to admit her guilt, “its only a tracker.”

Lexa snorted at the reminder. She would have folded her arms if she could so instead she just started through the bag of things, taking out items one by one. Her flashlight was already out, she noticed it not in it’s spot in the bag.  Lexa glanced around before she saw it squeezed into the rubber edge of the raft where the floor met the wall. The memory of the night before flashed before her eyes. She could remember the light flashing in her face. She shook it off quickly and brought herself back to the present continuation of that predicament, “probably no signal out here.” she should check her phone--

Her phone was at the bottom of the sea.

“It’s satellite.”

Lexa felt herself nodding, “of course,” she muttered thinking of all the places Clarke had found her, “it would have to be.” she looked down into her bag then. Everything was scrambled around: waterproof matches, rope, sealed emergency ration packs she had from an army surplus store, fishing line and a tin of hooks, her knife, batteries, among some of it. Her first aid kit was missing from the front pocket. The second she noticed this Lexa realised it what be what Clarke must have used on her wrist. The top of a candle peeked out of her windbreaker jacket in the bag.  Lexa reached in slowly and tried to tug the candle out. She felt her teeth grind just a little as she held it aloft and the bottom half of the candle fell off and landed in her bag with a dull thud that seemed punctuated with a sudden, single lift of a faster wave under them.

“Well your camera is still broadcasting,” Clarke spoke up, “when the batteries die, someone might know something went wrong--”

Still holding the top half of the candle aloft Lexa looked over at Clarke, “it could take a week for the battery to die.”

“Oh.” Clarke seemed disheartened, and looked at her screen.

Lexa breathed in deeply and tried to let go of the stab of remembered rage she felt from discovering about that gps, “but it is our last location,” she let the piece of candle drop, “and if nothing else. When they do realise we are missing it will give them a place to start.”

But Clarke was shaking her head, “I don’t think so.” she muttered, as though she too had just realised a flaw in her plan.

It made Lexa have to ask, “why not?”

Clarke lifted her chin and studied Lexa a second. Finally she pulled in a breath of air that made her lungs expand as though she needed it to admit, “what Jaha is doing is illegal-” she began.

Lexa nodded in understanding, “he isn’t going to fess up.” she looked in the bag. Not even to find them. She started shuffling things around a bit more. The dull ache in her wrist was getting worse the more she was awake. These packs she had packed for deep sea situations like this. There would be vitamin C tablets, tablets to purify water, and her compass too. She pulled the jacket out and slid it on. 

“He isn’t.” Clarke muttered. She turned the tablet off. As she did she put it into the bag again and dug a little more and pulled out her phone.  Clarke unlocked the screen and stared at it, “no signal.” 

“Mmm.” Lexa muttered. Not finding pain killers she moved to sit a little better and reached for the opened first aid kit and dragged it toward her.  She knew she shouldn’t say it. She knew she shouldn’t pick a fight in this close quarters but the little burst of anger she had felt earlier was still under the surface, “not satellite then?” she stopped her digging through the first aid kit, glad to see there were plenty of bandages and antibiotics and looked up at Clarke.

Clarke, in turn, was just starting at her over her phone with a blank expression on her face. She looked down at the phone and tucked it into her bag before answering, “no, its not.”

Lexa closed the kit, “that was uncalled for of me.”

“Not really,” Clarke answered, “I shouldn’t be here.” She looked away over the ocean.

Lexa shrugged and looked over at her, “I would have still gotten lost at sea, you know,” she admitted. That made Clarke look up at her quickly.  Lexa breathed in just as deeply as she had seen Clarke do a second ago and went on, “its not that I’ve forgotten everything. But us being lost at sea, isn’t your fault.”

Clarke nodded, and Lexa could for a second see a tiny bit of relief in blue eyes. Looking away she decided it best to change the subject, “I don’t think we have painkillers.” She could not believe she forgot them. 

“I didn’t see any,” Clarke’s voice was a whisper, “you um …mangled your wrist pretty bad. It’s a compound fracture. I set it right but its only a splint,” she was rambling now and Lexa knew it and she knew that Clarke was rambling now and it made Lexa stare at her trying to understand why as Clarke went on, “but it should work until we get home--”

“Clarke,” Lexa cut in quickly. They might not be going home soon.

Clarke stopped talking.  Her mouth snapped shut.  It was like even though Lexa hadn’t said the words out loud, Clarke heard them anyway. There in the little raft they stared at each other for a long time. Finally, Lexa reached a hand forward toward Clarke’s bag in silent question. 

Clarke flinched as though brought back from somewhere, “yeah,” she stated, glancing at her bag before handing it across, “guess ..guess I should be glad I got lost at sea with an explorer.” she let go of the bag as Lexa took it. Clarke shrugged and sat back, “probably you won’t find much useful stuff in there. There is a pair of sweatpants though you can wear if you--”

Lexa started through the girl’s bag. There were ziplocs of cookies and some sort of hand-made trail mix that looked like it was mostly sugary cereals, nuts and raisins, but it did look like it would taste really good. One by one she pulled these out and laid them on the raft floor.

“You..” Clarke spoke motioning toward the ziplocs, “you can have some of that.” Clarke paused. The air on the sea ripped between them again, briefly, quickly there and gone again, bouncing the little raft some as it came and went. Clarke grabbed the rope rails. So had Lexa. When the bouncing stopped and the sea was silent Clarke’s tone had changed completely to a more serious one, “Lexa?”

Lexa returned to the bag though, pulling out the sweatpants. She froze when she saw the little infinity camera in the bag under them.  She stared at it and couldn’t help but think about how it was staring back at her. All cameras did.  Slowly, Lexa closed her hand around it.

“Lexa?”

The second time Clarke said her name, Lexa looked up at her. Clarke in turn looked around them at the ocean and finally back at her and asked, “you …you really think no one is coming for us?”

Lexa could feel the quiet unease settling in the air, almost fear but more anxious. Finally she looked back down at the camera in Clarke’s bag. Lexa moved it aside, “no.” she answered, “not yet.”

Clarke only nodded as though the words winded her. 

Lexa continued her search of the bag.

(Continue to Chapter 15)

Ao3 | My Fics on Tumblr | Patreon

[daniellarinapouter]

😊😁😂🤪🙂 Thank you!!

Instead of contemplating all the ambience and letting it nicely sink in, I didn't get a minute since! First my mechanic called to let me know that my car needed a lot more done to it than he had first envisioned😬, next my BIL chimed in from London to have a leisurely chat🙄, and lastly, The Eldest phoned and told me that she is symptomatic of Youknowwhat. 🤯 (Holland behaving is a blithly ignorant as the Uk, much to my surprise) She's ok, but it's not nice to be that far away from her. 😪

Oh, and my accupuncturist sent me advice! ⬆️ I pass it on, cause I may trust a guy that was able to get me off all painkillers in just two sessions, when the GP told me that I would be on them for the rest of my life.

But - I was able to be present when it counted!!! 😊 🎧💕🌞

Ok, so - first impressions: (love it? Course I love it! Never refused a sound-bath when I could get one. 😁) Faves at the drop of a hat: 2, 3, 4!😍, 7(made me think of Good Omens), 13!🤩🏜, 16 and 19🦸‍♂️. (Apart from the earlier ones, I mean)

Remember, I only had one listen!

Enjoyed the time with you.

Take care. I will, too. 🤜🤛

Love from Your Librarian XO 🧡

P.S.: More advice fom Mr Needle-man: 😂 (my only concessions to the virus so far: I take industrial stength vitamins and I got myself some sleeping tablets for work days, cause menopause induced insomnia is an absolute no-no right now. Yes, I'm already signed up for extra shifts this week to replace quarantained colleagues. Pray for us.)

P.P.S: the comments stopped showing for me as soon as it started and I was glad of it, cause I could concentrate. Just caught up on them now. 😂 Quite, quite fabulous!😚😎

[blazehedgehog]

I hope you are recovering from the kidney stones well, and sorry to hear about the pain you suffered! What lead up to it?

Kidney stones just happen to some people. There are a variety of causes. Some of them are dietary, some of them are just kind of random. I’m pretty sure in my case, it was a combination of both diet and side effects of a home remedy.

Bad teeth kind of run in the family a little bit. My mom had her first dentures when she was 19. I will probably need dentures at some point in my life (and maybe soon, the way things in there feel sometimes). Because of the history of bad teeth, my Mom let me know of an old home remedy for toothaches: Vitamin C. Most toothaches are some form of an infection, and Vitamin C boosts your immune system, so if you bulk up on it, you can let your body’s natural defenses take care of the toothache without having to see a dentist for antibiotics.

This comes from a dentist my Mom visited in the 70′s or 80′s, who prescribed her 22,000mg of Vitamin C per day for a tooth infection. Over my years of having occasional toothaches, I’d usually take maybe a quarter of that, but a few years ago I ended up hitting the 22,000mg number because I had a particularly bad toothache that just wouldn’t go away, and at the time, we just couldn’t afford to go to a dentist.

The toothache eventually subsided but I didn’t like taking so much Vitamin C (for one thing, that much started giving me an upset tummy). My Mom assured me there were no side effects, and that it was impossible to overdose on it. I was skeptical.

So I looked in to it. Turns out, there was ONE side effect of taking excessive amounts of Vitamin C: an increased risk of kidney stones, as I guess the excess minerals in the vitamin tablets can coalesce in to a stone. So for years, I always had that hanging over my head, knowing that probably some day, that would be a problem I’d have to deal with.

As for what it felt like, well, I’ll hide that behind a “read more” tag for people who are squeamish.

To be perfectly honest with you, this is actually the second kidney stone I’ve passed – the first one was right after New Years 2017. I didn’t tell anyone on the internet about this (that I can remember), it was something I largely kept to myself because I was embarrassed.

I think it was around January 3rd that I woke up, went to the bathroom, and as I was going it kind of burned a little bit. Nothing outrageously painful, but definitely uncomfortable. Obviously I started to panic, but I figured I’d give it 24 hours, see if it kept happening, and then decide where to go from there. By the end of the 24 hours (morning #2), I’d made a realization: the pain was moving, slowly, down my urinary tract. Every time I’d go to the bathroom, it would move a little closer to the, uh, “tip.”

Something was in there, and it was going to come out. I knew it had to be a kidney stone. I’d known from looking up kidney stones from Vitamin C that there’s not really a way to “treat” stones. Most doctors prescribe painkillers to manage the pain and you just have to pass it on your own. Only in extreme cases with urinary tract blockages (read: you can’t pee) are more invasive treatment options considered, like ultrasound to blast the stone in to dust, or surgery to physically remove it.

So I started guzzling water in an effort to push the thing out. By the morning of the third day, it felt like it was right there, like I should be able to physically see it if I looked. Were kidney stones big enough to see with the naked eye? To be honest, I didn’t know. But I kept guzzling water and sure enough, right before bed that night, I got a split second of VERY intense pain, and then it vanished. I didn’t see anything drop in to the toilet bowl, so I figured that, no, I guess maybe kidney stones were just too small to see with the naked eye. I flushed, went to bed, and that would have been the end of it.

About a week later, I stood up off the toilet from having a “bowel movement” and noticed in the toilet bowl a little strip of pink where my urine had been splashing. Blood, in other words. Welp, there was no avoiding it now, I needed to go see a doctor. Doctor confirmed what I already knew: it was probably a kidney stone, and it probably just tore some stuff up on its way out and that’s what was bleeding. The bleeding should stop within a couple weeks. And it did.

And then it came back. Every 4-8 weeks, I’d stand up from sitting on the toilet to another pink stripe of blood on the bowl. Since the doctor told me that was normal, I tried not to worry about it. The further away from January I got, the less frequent finding blood in the toilet became. I was healing, just slowly. Everything was fine. Probably.

Nine months later, we’ll say around September 2nd (a Saturday), I woke up with an INTENSE burning pain in my back on the left side. It made me feel sick. I didn’t even want to move. The day before, me and my Mom had been going through a storage unit out here in Nevada looking for a specific item that we’d packed that we needed now. I figured I’d thrown my back out. That’s happened to me before. As I sat up, over the next 20-30 minutes, the pain faded away and vanished. Fair enough, maybe it was just a cramp or something. But for the next two days, I felt incredibly nauseous. And, by the end of the second day, not only did I notice another pink strip of blood in the toilet bowl, but something about my urine just did not smell right (in the sense that it did not smell like pee normally smells).

I tried not to think about it, even though I knew what the symptoms meant. It got to be harder to ignore when, every single time I had to sit down for a bathroom visit, I’d stand up to a little bit of blood in the toilet bowl. Every. Single. Time.

Uh oh.

Thursday the 7th rolls around and I’m up late as usual, when, around 3 or 4am, the pain in my back comes back. It grows, slowly, in waves. The pain would peak, and then fall off over a period of 20-30 minutes, only to come back even stronger on the next go around. “This is it.” I thought. I filled a big glass of water and chugged it down, then filled it up again, and made it about halfway through the second glass.

Nothing happened. I mean, literally, nothing happened. I was sloshing around with something like a liter of water in me and nothing was coming back out. It felt like I had to go, but I’d push and I’d push to a couple of droplets. Instead, the pain was getting more intense more quickly. I couldn’t stand up anymore. I rolled around on the floor of my bedroom, and later the floor of the bathroom, as I began sweating bullets from the pain, which was now beginning to move across my side to my bladder. I was in so much pain it was becoming difficult to think clearly. A good example is that it was like the feeling a man gets when they’re kicked in the groin, except it not only never goes away, it just keeps getting more intense over time. I have never in my life felt pain like this.

Finally, 7am rolled around, and I couldn’t take it any longer. I was dying. At the very least, I feared a blockage. I hobbled my way down the hall to where my Mom was staying, and I woke her up. “We’ve got a big problem.”

“Why? What now?” she asked, barely awake.

“I think I need to go to the hospital.”

We hadn’t gotten any of our medical insurance transferred to Nevada yet, so going to the doctor was going to be expensive. But I couldn’t stand it anymore. I explained to her that I hadn’t been able to go to the bathroom for a few hours despite drinking a huge amount of water, and just like that, she began looking up hospitals for me.

The emergency room visit took about six hours. They put me on an IV, gave me some painkillers, did a CAT scan of my abdomen, drew blood and had me pee in a cup (which, perhaps because of the painkillers, had upgraded from a few droplets to a tiny trickle). The doc came in and confirmed: Yep! It’s a kidney stone. Fortunately, not big enough to require surgery – stones up to 5 or 6mm typically pass on their own, and mine was in the 3mm range, and according to the doc, it was “almost out.”

I received a prescription for Percocet (for the pain) and Zofran (for the nausea) and was sent packing, but not without some advice from the nurse:

I was advised to “stay on top” of the pain. I didn’t want to be trapped waiting for my Percocet to take hold with pain that intense. So basically, take regular dosages until the stone passes.

Both Percocet and Zofran would make me tremendously sleepy, so there was a good chance I was going to sleep through a lot of the pain.

The last items they gave me was a funnel with a filter inside of it – I was instructed to pee in to the funnel and catch the stone when it comes out, which I was then meant to take to a urologist for analysis. The other item was the container I was meant to put the stone in (a little plastic jar with a locking lid).

So I went home and I slept. And slept. And slept. Over the next two days, I slept so much that it was starting to get scary. I’d sleep 18 hours a day. I tried to go without my Percocet, but I still couldn’t stay awake. I had no energy. It took me 20 minutes to unfold a camping chair in my bedroom for me to sit in because I kept needing to rest after exerting the smallest amount of movement. And when I’d take a deep breath, there was this kind of aching pain around the periphery of my lungs. After practically falling a sleep mid-sentence telling my Mom about all this (I was nearly in tears, I only remember weakly saying “Something feels wrong and I don’t know what”), she decided it would be a good idea to talk to the hospital. They advised her I should be brought in immediately.

And thinking about it now, if it wasn’t for my Mom in this situation, I might be dead by now.

They diagnosed me with pneumonia. At some point in my drugged up stupor, they figure I must have aspirated (read: almost barfed and then some of that fluid went down the wrong pipe in to my lungs, and since I was so out of it, I never coughed it up). I was put on oxygen, given more CAT scans, more blood drawn, more study. One doctor used the term “septic” to describe what my lungs looked like. They were starting to collapse. So, I spent the weekend in a hospital bed, hooked up to an IV, hooked up to a heart rate monitor, with even more medication. More pain killers, plus now antibiotics, and something called “Flomax” – medication normally reserved for men with prostate problems, it helps open the pipes and increase urine flow strength. In other words, they wanted that kidney stone out of me now.

By Tuesday the 12th, I was allowed to come back home. My pneumonia had cleared up quite a bit, I no longer needed an oxygen mask, and I was clawing at the walls to get out. I still had occasional back pain, but it was subsiding. Still hadn’t passed the stone, but that was irrelevant. I didn’t want to be there anymore.

As I got dressed and prepared to leave, the Doc made one final check in with me to say: “Don’t come back.” When I smiled at him, he smiled back. “I’m serious. I never want to see you in this hospital again.”

Now the prescriptions I was sent home with included more Percocet (for extreme pain), triple strength Ibuprofin (for mild pain, with the instructions that it should be taken with antacid pills), two types of antibiotics (for the pneumonia) and more Flomax (to push the stone out).

By September 14th, I started to notice this red-ish, ashy gravel in the urine filter they gave me. Was that the stone? Had it broken in to a thousand tiny pieces? Over the next few days, as I kept going, I kept peeing out more and more of this ashy stuff. It didn’t hurt, and there was getting to be a lot of it, in big chunks.

I later learned that this is normal in the symptoms of a kidney stone. This ashy stuff was coagulated blood and tissue from the kidney when the stone tore its way out.

Finally, on the afternoon of September 22nd, a BUNCH of the red ashy stuff came out, WAY more than ever before, and right as I felt like I was done peeing, I got a surprise little extra burst of urine at the end and a jolt of pain. Wait? Was that it? Nothing seemed to fall in to the filter, but… maybe that was it?

I dumped the ashy stuff in to the container and thought maybe it was over.

As I sat down, I noticed something felt different. For guys (at least some guys) when you shift around in your seat, your uh, “business” obviously moves around, too. And when that happened to me, I could… physically feel something. Something was in there. In the “final stretch” so to speak. It hadn’t come out yet. It was waiting for one last stream to make the last step of its journey. But every time I moved, I knew it was in there, because I could feel it move around in the “pipe.”

Finally, long about midnight, after a lot of holding it in and being worried about the pain and how much it might hurt to finally get this thing out of me, I just… went.

Plonk!

In to the filter drops what looks sort of like a big, hard, crusty booger. Bigger than a grain of rice, a little bit smaller than a pea. About a quarter of an inch, we’ll say. Compared to what I expected, it looks titanic. Monstrous, even. That was in me? That came out of there? It’s huge! A lot bigger than 3 milometers! (Wait. How big is a milometer?)

And… it didn’t hurt. At all. The jolt of pain I felt earlier in the afternoon must’ve been all there was. The stone finishing its journey, that last little bit of distance, didn’t hurt even a little bit. It basically just fell out right in to the filter.

Depending on how you look at it, this stone either took two weeks or nine and a half months to come out. And who knows! Maybe there’s more hiding in there. I’m also, at least for the next month, probably at an increased risk of kidney infections.

And for all the “oh it didn’t hurt” of that last leg, it really cannot be understated how much “flank” (back) pain I was in for almost a full week. It was literally unbearable.

But it’s over! For now! Hooray!

(Well, except for the pinched nerve the hospital bed gave me that has yet to clear up...)

[naturopathycanada]

Naturopathy For Easing Anxiety

What is naturopathy?

It is feasible to utilize naturopathy for relieving anxiety Allow my beginning by informing you a little about naturopathy, as sadly most people aren't acquainted with this kind of corresponding medication. Naturopathy is a holistic strategy to western medicine: we listen to your signs, we consider your blood work, and we make use of the exact same terms as your GP would. Your General Practitioner will ask you WHAT your symptoms are, provide a name-- a medical diagnosis, and afterwards provide a treatment (typically, a tablet to deal with these signs and symptoms); a naturopath will go one action better by asking WHY.

I'll give you an instance: your head is battering, as well as you are really feeling sensitive to light. You may head off to your GP, who will listen to your issues, inform you that what you've obtained is a migraine, as well as provide you a painkiller to deal with the trouble. As a naturopath, I will use the medical diagnosis of migraine headache that you were given, yet I will certainly attempt and learn, along with you, why you're dealing with it (rest deprival, tension, hormone imbalance, food sensitivity, dehydration, too much high levels of caffeine consumption, and so on). We will certainly after that deal with treating the root cause of the issue, in order to prevent reoccurrence. A naturopath will normally deal with these concerns with a personally-tailored solution consisting of a dietary treatment, lifestyle modifications, herbal medication, supplements, Bach Blossom Remedies, as well as other all-natural treatments-- according to your requirements.

Naturopathy as well as anxiousness.

When it involves stress and anxiety, it can be stated that, broadly talking, the objective of a naturopathic treatment would certainly be to stop future anxiety attack, discover and also attend to the root cause of the anxiety, and deal tools to better take care of anxiety in the future.

A randomised controlled research study contrasted the efficiency of naturopathic like psychiatric therapy for symptoms of stress and anxiety. The naturopathic treatment included dietary coaching, deep breathing workouts, a multi-vitamin as well as a prep work made from a natural herb called Withania somnifera (referred to as ashwaganda). They found that after 8 weeks, the anxiety scores of individuals in the naturopathic care group decreased by 56.5% (compared with 30.5% in the conventional therapy team). They additionally experienced added enhancements in psychological wellness, concentration, fatigue social functioning, vitality, and also overall lifestyle.

As I claimed, from the naturopathic perspective there isn't truly a "one size fits all". There can be various reasons for anxiousness, including stress and anxiety, genetic personality, hormonal inequality, injury, personality, nutritional deficiencies, crucial illnesses, and so on, which must be dealt with on a private basis. Having stated that, there are absolutely a couple of points that will aid many people (as you can see from the research over): keeping a healthy diet that consists of enough B vitamins, omega 3 fatty acids, and also fresh whole foods can enhance the feature of the nerves, as well as assist the body handle stresses-- which may, over time, come to be a trigger for anxiety. Eating tiny meals at regular times of day, and rather frequently, can aid manage blood sugar degrees, relieving anxiousness. Obviously, determining as well as preventing foods which worsen your anxiousness, such as alcohol, high levels of caffeine, simple carbohydrates, and refined foods, is additionally crucial.

Foods you ought to be eating more of:

B vitamins, such as whole grains (quinoa, barley, rice, oats, and so on). vegetables (beans, peas and lentils), veggies (primarily dark leafy greens, sprouts and also origin veggies), and fruit.

Magnesium, such as dark leafy greens, beans, entire grains and also seeds.

Natural chemicals, which can act as an all-natural source of serotonin, tryptophan and also melatonin, such fruits, whole grains, seeds (pumpkin, sesame, sunflower and so on), fish, and also turkey.

Omega 3 fats, such as fish, flaxseeds, chia seeds, nuts, olive oil, etc

. Probiotics, such as pickles, sauerkraut, fermented foods, and also kefir or kombucha.

Anti-oxidants, minerals and vitamins, such as fruit and vegetables.

See to it you're consuming adequate water, as dehydration (even if moderate) can adversely impact your state of mind.

* Undoubtedly, if you have a sensitivity to any of the foods I have actually provided above you need to prevent them.

Adjustments to way of life

Way of living modifications to help ease anxiousness will include

Making sure good quality rest

Mental adjustments to aid develop hopefulness and also grow thankfulness

Finding out an ideal anxiety reduction strategy

Developing social support by growing great healthy and balanced connections

Producing behaviors of success

Many of my individuals discover that having a checklist of easy as well as basic tasks that they complete every day helps produce a feeling of ability as well as control. This helps reinforce them for any other task they locate tough.

Herbal medication

When it concerns organic medication, you should get in touch with a naturopath who can help recognize the best therapy for you. Please be specifically careful if you're taking medicine, as there may be interactions in between herbal medication as well as medicine. However, there are light types of natural medication that can help most people, such as natural teas. These are not likely to create negative effects but are still effective adequate to help. Natural teas that can minimize anxiety consist of chamomile, linden, lemon balm, verbena, lavender, and also passionflower.

Supplements

The very same point puts on supplements. I myself think that you should not take supplements unless you need them, as well as a healthy diet needs to offer you with all you require. At the same time, I will say that there are a few common nutritional shortages that may get worse stress and anxiety. You might think about attempting and also these consist of B vitamins, omega sixes, as well as magnesium. Lots of people may also locate a probiotic supplement very useful.

Just how does it all fit together

I'll offer you an instance of an everyday regimen that I built with a client in order to assist him manage his stress and anxiety condition:

07:00 Stand up (no striking the snooze button!), 10 minutes of meditation.

07:30 Organic medication formula. Morning meal: chamomile tea, muesli with fresh berries, big glass of water. Keep in mind to take blue-light obstructing glasses to workplace!

11:00 Snack time: blended nuts and an apple, big glass of water. Consume these on the bench outside if it's not raining (stairs not lift!).

13:30 Lunch: Salad with hen/ quinoa-- combined seeds covering, big glass of water.

16:00 Snack time: banana as well as mug of verbena tea with biscuit (home-made!), large glass of water. Mood Mint app.

19:30 Natural medication formula. Dinner: whole wheat pasta with lentil ragout/ large dish of soup with typical rye bread/ fish with prepared vegetables. Huge glass of water.

20:30 Cup of lemon balm tea, pudding treat with tart cherries or kiwi. Watch something pleased on television.

22:00 Turn off the web on your phone.

This patient, along with stress and anxiety, dealt with depression and had rather a gloomy outlook. So it was important to integrate things like time outside, mild exercise, and also utilizing an application that helps with cognitive bias alteration, such as State of mind Mint. He also discovered his stress and anxiety was making it hard for him to head to rest. This is why I suggested utilizing blue light obstructing glasses at the workplace, as well as added the tart cherries/kiwi in the evening, and also why I enforced a no mobile net guideline after 22:00. He additionally has a herbal medication formula that was tailor-maked to his demands. You don't require me to repeat that what is right for him will not be right for everyone. I desired you to see an example of an everyday routine that isn't too difficult to adhere to, and consists of all the nutrients to aid support him in his objectives.

Last ideas.

Anxiousness can feel intense on some days. It's hard to go from 0-100 when it involves producing a healthy way of living. Simply today I needed to speak with a lovely long-term patient of mine, as well as remind her that when it's actually hard you just select one point. Something that you're mosting likely to do today that will certainly help. Tomorrow maybe you'll really feel well enough to do 2, however today you're going to do something. Locating the right way for you will likely include some experimentation.

My biggest suggestions is to stay clear of all the weird and contradicting suggestions online. There is no one tablet that will cure you. There is a healthy and balanced way of life that you create on your own. By locating all things that work for you and also weaving them together to create your best life, as well as frequently working to push your limits as well as expand your definition of what your ideal life is.

Attempt including great practices individually, view their effect, and then repeat. Attempt lowering the less-helpful routines one by one, see the impact this has, and afterwards repeat. Speak to a naturopath if you need help with this, and locate one who has the exact same overview as you do. I'm not the best one for everybody, I believe in small amounts and also some people need the severe method. Believe that you can produce a positive, lasting adjustment in your life, as well as you will.

The post “ Naturopathy For Easing Anxiety “ was seen first on Succeed Now

Learn how naturopathic medicine works. Visit Dr. Amauri Caversan’s Toronto wellness clinic.

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

DOTW 19 - Start...

Hanji wanted to throw a Welcome Home party for him, while Eren didn't want a party. They'd compromised, and now Eren was hiding out in his room, avoiding said party. Marco had already found him, his friend's stomach swollen into a small adorable bump, which his ear was against. Downstairs Levi was with Hanji and Moblit, after clinging to the presence of the alpha while copped up in hospital, his anxieties were now getting the better of him. He didn't know what to say, or do. It didn't matter that he'd missed Levi while he was with Zeke, nor did it matter that he'd ached for him during his heat. Even if it'd been 8 weeks, it felt like a lifetime had passed between them "Eren, you still awake?" Scratching his scalp lightly, Eren hummed up at Marco "Yeah. Barely though. I'm a terrible host. You're the one who's pregnant, yet I'm the one laying with my head in your lap" Marco laughed lightly. His friend didn't seem to care he'd disappeared completely, only that he was finally back. He'd spent the first hour or so, not knowing what to say. Then Marco had followed him up to his room, and made the first move. He'd assured him he didn't have to talk if he wasn't ready, for that he was grateful. Marco was so soft and sweet. He didn't want him to know "You've got a boot thing on your leg, and a cast on your arm. All I've got is a baby and indigestion" "You're going to be such a good mum. Do you know what it is?" "We decided to wait until they're born" "Awww. Either way, it's going to be adorable if it looks like you" "I just hope it doesn't have Jean's big head" Giggling, Eren had to agree with that. Something that big, just wasn't supposed to come out an opening that small. Babies in general were weird, but pregnancy was even weirder "It's still cool though. A tiny person is growing inside you" "One day, you'll have your own tiny person inside you" "I don't know about that. That means finding an alpha, and having sex and all that seems like effort" "What do you mean, finding an alpha? What about Levi?" Groaning, Eren rolled onto his side so he was facing away from Marco's stomach "That's complicated" "What's so complicated about it?" "I'm not in the headspace for anything. We got close... but I can't... I can barely stand being touched. I mean like, you're ok because you're an omega, but alphas... it's iffy" "You know, I don't think Jean would mind if you stayed with us" "No. This place is as good as any. It just feels weird being back" "Um... I know I said I wasn't going to push you to talk, but if you want to. I'll listen" "It's ok. It's nicer than the hospital" "Other than the stairs" "Yeah. I'm over them already. When we came home yesterday, Hanji sent me up to have a nap, then she called me down for dinner, then she sent me back to up to my room, then called me down again to see if I wanted to watch a movie with her and Moblit. 5 times up and down those stairs... it was definitely some kind of torture" "Jean's all paranoid about the baby. He won't let me do steps. I'm like 5 months. Steps are not the end of the world" "He just loves you" "He does. He's working a crazy amount of overtime so he can buy everything. I told him I didn't have to quit work, but he wants to take care of us" "You're lucky you have a good alpha" "I know I am. Do you know if Hanji's had any luck conceiving yet?" "I have no idea. Probably. I get the feeling that if she was, she wouldn't want to tell me" "Why not?" "She'd say she doesn't want me worrying or something" "I hope she does. Fall pregnant I mean" "Mmm. She'd be another good mum. The kid would be crazy, and Moblit would probably have a mental breakdown, but he'd love every second of it" Without really realising, Eren's right hand had moved to his stomach. His last heat had been rough. The need to breed, with Levi, and to be thoroughly bred into pregnancy physically hurt. He'd sobbed for the alpha, while Zeke was away for work. He'd nearly broken down the apartment door in his haze of need "I think you'd made a good mum too. Your kids would have such pretty eyes" "I don't know. I think I'd be scared for them to be an omega" "Things are changing for omegas" "Yeah, but that doesn't mean everyone is going to change. Sorry. I don't want to be a downer, not when this little ones growing so fast" Yawning, he closed his eyes "I think we could both use a nap. I don't even do things, and I'm still tired" "It should be ok, I mean, I should be ok if you want to nap up here" "You just want me in your bed and under the covers" "Can you blame me? You're nice and warm" And omega. And omega who wasn't going to hold him down, or try and bond with him. His omega was loving the contact of another person, something none of the alphas in his life could give. Moblit didn't even have to touch him for him to want to vomit, while Hanji left his stomach rolling because she kept forgetting about the "no touching" thing. He honestly didn't know how to make this situation work, when his nerves and anxieties, coupled with his retraining made the house feel so unwelcome. Even when it came to his room, he felt like he was invading and that he shouldn't be there "I need to pee again. Get comfy while I'm gone?" "I don't think I'd have the patience to pee every five minutes" "You should have seen the morning sickness then. It got so bad that Jean made a bed in the guest bathroom for me" "That's kind of..." "Gross and sweet at the same time?" "Yeah" "It was" Wriggling off Marco's lap, Eren waited until his friend was standing before crawling under the covers of his bed. He hadn't asked Hanji to invite Levi and Marco over, so as far as he was concerned, Hanji could deal with Levi. He and Marco both wanted to nap, so they would. He just hoped he wouldn't have a nightmare or wake up screaming, or even worse, hit Marco. He truly treasured his friendship with the omega, and even if it meant forcing himself not to think about everything he'd missed in his absence, he wanted to salvage it. He wanted to be there for Marco and his baby. Rubbing his swell as he walked across to Eren's bed, Marco smiled shyly as he climbed under the covers to join him "The baby was kicking again" "And I missed it?" "Sorry. They're super active, but seem to get all shy when someone's around" "So they're already taking after you" Teasing Marco gently, his friend took his hand and slipped it up under his shirt "Wait... there, can you feel it?" There was the faintest of movements beneath his fingertips, yet his heart swelled at the sensation. His omega piping up about how much it wanted a child. Part of him was still jealous it wasn't him who was pregnant, but the feeling of Marco's baby was amazing "Yeah... wow" "It's a little strange" "It's awesome" "Jean says he never feels it" "It's really faint. He was probably expecting a solid kick" "It's a solid kick inside me" "Mmm. I can't even imagine" Sliding his cast hand free, he rest it on Marco's hip. His friend starting to purr as he wrapped in one arm loosely around him "I really missed this. I missed hanging out with you" "I missed you too. I still haven't gone through all your texts, but I saw your ultrasounds" "It's ok. They're just mostly me talking at you. I haven't got that many friends, and being home alone gets lonely" "I promise I'll message back. I'm still trying to get through all the ones Levi sent" "Didn't Levi know you didn't have your phone?" "He did... he, um, he said he was looking for me, and he'd message me about his day" "You say you don't have an alpha, but I'm pretty sure if you told Levi you wanted to bond, he'd give you his mark in a heartbeat" He probably would... but the idea of being marked was scary as fuck. Having a permanent connection to one person for the rest of your life seemed an impossible dream "He's a good alpha. Hanji used to apologise for his bluntness and his crankiness, but he wasn't really like that with me. I don't know why" "Because you're cute?" "No, I'm all tall and thin" "And totally cute. Even with your moonboot and cast" Groaning, Eren buried his face in his pillow "I'm so over casts and boots and splints. Hanji said it has to stay on during the day until I've recovered completely" He had to take all sorts of pills too. Painkillers, mood stabilisers, antidepressants, anti nausea, vitamins. He was well and truly over taking tablets "How do you even shower?" "In a stupid chair. I wanted to have a bath last night, but that meant not getting the splint wet, or the cast and then that seemed like too much effort" "Doesn't it get wet in the shower?" "I take the splint and that off. And it doesn't get soaked like in a bath. Anyway. Tell more about the baby" "I've learnt that pregnancy makes you like super horny. Jean can't keep his hands off me" Wrinkling his nose, the omega shook his head "I said that baby. Not your sex life" "I'm just saying. All it takes is a whiff of Jean..." "Lalalala" Pinching him, Eren poked his tongue out "Fine. The baby is going great. Right on the track. Good vitals... good heartbeat. Tiny and perfect. We've been trying to decide on the nursery. I was thinking scandi-chic, but Jean was thinking more fun" "Scandi-chic has been done to death" "That's because it works" "It worked so well that everything looks the same. There's nothing really special about it. This little bean of yours is special" "They are. I don't know... there's just so many options" "Just avoid Jean's opinions and you'll be safe" "I can picture it now. A bright red wall for a newborn. It's not exactly calming" His voice shook slightly "Red isn't a great colour" Red was the colour of blood... red blood that didn't stop... "Eren?" His scent had shifted, betraying his miniblip of fear "Sorry. It's ok. Just, yeah. What about green? Or blue?" "Yeah, but do you know how many shades there are?" "We could, um, look at them together?" He didn't want to boss Marco into his ideas or ruin his dreams... "That would be so much help. I've been looking at everything on my own, well, when Jean isn't home to stop me and it feels like someone's split by head open, and everything is just melting out" "I don't think it works that way" "There's just so much! People used to raise babies in tents, and now they're like, each baby has to have its own room..." "Ok. Ok. I don't get it, but we'll take a look after our nap?" "Mmm. I have photos on my phone. I've like screen-shotted everything so I can show Jean" Resuming his purr, Eren's own omega began to purr back, feeding off of Marco's happiness and pheromones. Apparently it was common for omegas to feel maternal when around pregnant omegas, leaving him to hope he didn't just blurt out how jealous he was and ruin it all. Neither of them actually fell asleep. After a few minutes, Marco started giggling before he started tickling him. Unable to retaliate without the fear of smacking Marco's stomach, he pled for mercy until his friend finally stopped "Isn't it funny. I was so tired before, but now we're lying down, I can't get to sleep" Sighing softly, he patted Marco's hip "Grab your phone then, we'll start looking at baby things" "I thought you were sleepy" "I'm not promising I'll stay awake..." "Hey, my tastes aren't so boring that they'll put you to sleep" "I don't know, I haven't seen them yet" "You know, if they do put you to sleep, it's a good sign it's going to put the baby to sleep" "I give you permission to baby me if I fall asleep" Marco groaned, shaking his head as he fished out his phone "Don't even go there. Since my breasts started to develop, Jean won't leave them alone" "They're so tiny and cute" "I'll give you tiny.... and cute..." Tapping on his phone, Marco pulled up his latest ultrasound. Eren awwed over the small image "See" "Very tiny and very cute. I yield. Now, I want to see everything" Marco had what seemed to be thousands of screenshots, leaving Eren's head muddled. He could see why Marco was struggling, and understand why Jean couldn't catch up. His friend had so many ideas, and couldn't just settle on one. It was completely adorable. Marco's scent was so happy, his eyes bright as he talked a million miles a minute. Time slipped away from them completely, until a light knock interrupted Marco "Hey boys, sorry but Jean is out the front. He said he messaged?" Marco rolled over, beginning to climb from his bed "Thanks Hanji. We got caught up talking all things baby" "Did you two have a good time?" "Yeah. I'll see you soon, right Eren?" "Yep. If you get any more ideas, message me" "I might just message you anyway" "Sounds good. Hanji, make sure he gets down the stairs ok?" "You're not coming down? Moblit made cake" "He doesn't like the stairs" Turning back to look at him, Eren poked his tongue out at Marco "Dobber" "You started it" "I'm legitimately worried about you... and you're the one who said Jean won't let you do stairs alone" "I didn't think you'd use it against me" "It's all part of my evil plan" Marco rolled his eyes "I think that means he's staying in bed" "Yep. Thanks for coming over... I needed this. There hasn't been much to laugh about lately" His friend gave softened before brightening again "I know. Call me if you need me. Anytime" "I will" He wouldn't. He really wouldn't, but Marco looked so hopeful about it. * Levi'd expected Eren to be a little distant now that he was back at Hanji's, but he hadn't expected Eren to be in bed with his best friend. More than once he'd caught the sound of the pair of omegas giggling or laughing about something. Something that Eren had sorely needed after his recent stay in Shinganshima Memorial. Hanji had gushed over how cute the pair of them where, laying in bed together. He hadn't meant for his alpha to raise its jealous head. He was happy Eren had a friend he could trust... it just sucked it wasn't him. He'd thought with how close they're gotten, and with how Eren didn't want to be touched, that maybe he was special. The omega had let him hold him. Had let him comfort him and be there. Now Eren had Marco, he felt discarded. Eren didn't even want to come down for cake, despite the amount of effort Moblit had gone exerted to make the beast of a creation, and he didn't have an actual reason for wanting to go check on the brat, other than fact he was curious and jealous. Passing him two plates of cake, Levi frowned deeply at them "You've been glaring at it since I came back down. Just go talk to Eren already" "He's..." "Probably not sure what to say. He's in a good mood, so go see him already" Standing next to her husband, Hanji elbowed Moblit's side "Uh. What? Yeah" "You have no idea what just happened, do you?" Moblit snorted lightly "I never do. Why don't you take that up to Eren? You can use it as excuse to talk to him" Laughing, Hanji shoved a kiss to Moblit's cheek "That's what I was saying. You should really listen to what I say more often" "Yes, dear" The pair of them were so in love that it was disgusting. Placing his plate down, he looked at the slice for Eren. It was way too big. The omega wouldn't even be able to finish a third of it, then he'd probably feel guilty over not eating it all. They all knew Eren had bad eating habits, he didn't need a guilt trip over them on his second night back "Go on. Go talk to him already" "I'm going. God. You two are as bad as each other" Eren's door was open, Levi heart momentarily stopping in panic as the unwanted memories of their argument came back. He could see the omega laying in his bed, yet his alpha was still panicked. Eren had run once... what if he left them again? "Are you coming in, or staying out there?" Snorting at the brat's cheek, Levi walked into Eren's room "I have cake" "I can see..." Placing the plate down on the bedside table, he didn't know what to do with himself. Eren's room smelt more of Marco than Eren. The man's scent irritating his nose, and upsetting his alpha. His alpha wanted to protect Eren more than anything in the world, but with the scent of pregnant omega, it wanted to protect Marco too. Conflicted over it own confusion, Levi sighed to himself. He'd swapped suppressants again now that was back at work, so he was still waiting for them to stabilise everything "You can, um, sit. I don't mind" "You don't have to force yourself" "It's ok... having Marco helped my omega settle" Sitting on the edge of Eren's bed, he waited for Eren to pull himself into a sitting position before retrieving the piece of cake and passing it over "Holy shit..." "Yeah. Moblit got a bit carried away, but you don't have to finish it all" "I don't think I can stomach it..." Compared to everything Eren had been eating, the cake was probably was too rich for him to keep it down "Just try a small bit. It's better than hospital food" "Are you going to have some?" "This bit is all yours" "I don't want to eat on my own" "Just eat a little and I'll finish the rest" "Was he mad?" "Mad?" "Because I didn't go down" "Nah. He knows it's going to take some time getting used to be being back here" "Here isn't so bad... it's better than the hospital" "Then why were you hiding up here all night? Did I do something?" "You? No... Marco and I were talking about the baby. He and Jean decided not to find out if it's a boy or girl" If that was all, that didn't explain why they were laying in bed together, and not talking in the living room. If it wasn't him, then it must be Moblit "He looked happy" "He is. He's got so many plans for the nursery that he can't make his mind up" "As long as he doesn't listen to Jean, things should be alright" "I said the same thing... Jean made him quit his job, and Marco's always been so social..." "He's got you to talk to" "Mmm... I don't know how helpful I am though" "I'm sure you two can figure it out" Eren sounded excited about the baby, leaving Levi wondering if the omega wanted a child of his own. Eren would make a good mother. He'd been through so much shit, that he'd be a fierce protector of his pup "Do you want kids?" "I... uh, I don't know. When you have a baby, you're stuck with the father in their lives. If you leave your alpha, they're the one who gets custody... if I had a baby, I don't think I could give them up" He would never make Eren give up their child... no. They weren't a couple. He shouldn't be thinking of nice a well bred Eren would look, or how badly he wanted to be the one to sire his pups. Picking at the top of the cake, Eren sighed softly "Are you sure Moblit isn't mad at me?" "He's not mad. He just got a little carried away while baking" "It's not him. Can you let him know? I don't want to be scared of him, but the house is so big, and I don't feel like I belong here... and the stairs. I fucking hate stairs" "I'm glad it's not personal" "It's not. My nerves are just a bit messed up. Hanji makes me take all these pills. I don't like taking pills" "It won't be forever" "It just feels like it" Finally breaking off a small piece of cake, Eren popped the piece in his mouth, before pulling a face "That good?" "It's too sweet" Taking the plate back, his hand brushed Eren's. Eren letting go of the plate as he cringed from the contact "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you" "No. It took me by surprise. I was ok with Marco, so I should have been ok with you" "Eren" "No. It's stupid... I should be over this" Placing the plate down, Levi held his hands up as if surrendering "You're healing. You don't need to force yourself. We're happy you're here, even though it's not under the best circumstances" "You mean because I'm back only because Zeke died" "Yeah" Fuck. Just. Fuck "I think I want to go bed now" He'd stepped on the Zeke mine, now Eren was throwing up his walls, practically ruining all the work Marco had done to make Eren feel relaxed and happy to be back "Do you want me to stay?" "No. Can you take the cake too?" "Sure. If you need anything, message me" "Yeah. Sure" Taking Eren's slice of cake back downstairs with him, Levi dragged his feet. He'd heard the start of Eren's purring before he'd even reached the doorway. The omega becoming distressed all over again, thanks to him. Joining Hanji and Moblit in the kitchen, Hanji sagged at the sight of the mostly intact piece of cake "He didn't want it?" "No, it wasn't that. After hospital food, it was a bit too much" Moblit sighed softly. He knew this was an attempt at making sure Eren felt welcome "Oh..." "We talked. You haven't done anything wrong. He's just readjusting to being here, and not loving the stairs, or the boot. Marco was a good idea. He was pretty happy to see him again" "I didn't even think. I should have made something lighter..." "Moblit. It's not you, and it's never been you or Hanji or even me. It's whatever was done to him in the past, and his brother was murdered in front of him by seems of it. It's shit. He's been sent back to step one and he's scared and lonely all over again" "Has he said anything about Zeke?" Levi shook his head "I accidentally went there, and he kicked me out" "I've booked him an appointment with his counsellor... do you think he'll be ok with that?" "As long as you ask him, and you're there waiting for him. Last time he was there he had a pretty big panic attack when he came out" "Do you want to take him?" "When is it?" "Friday afternoon" "I've got work. I'm still on probation" Hanji nodded "Then I'll take him, I thought maybe if you did, it wouldn't be so bad for him. I've sent through a fax to Thomas, outlining what we think happened, and Zeke's death. Also the needle thing. I don't want to believe he used, and his blood results didn't show any illicit drugs in his system, but his prints were the only one on the needle" Hanji had been "harassing" the police since they'd visited Eren. She was trying to get Zeke's body released, but as the case was "active", it may be some time before that happened. Even though he hated Zeke, he knew Eren would want to see him again, or at least know what happened to him "That sounds like a fun conversation. You spent a week next to your murdered brother, oh, and why was there a needle in your arm? Was it part of your psychopathic brother's training?" His tone dripped with annoyance. It should be up to Eren what he chose to disclose and when, and more importantly to who "You don't need to word it like that" "It doesn't make it any less true. Eren's gone to bed, so I'm going to go. If something goes wrong, let me know" "Oh... ok... now he's home, I suppose you'll be around more often" "That's up to Eren. Just go easy on him over the boot and the stairs. He already thinks he's still in trouble over returning to Zeke" "The boot's for his own good, and it's not like we change the stairs" "I'm just saying, give him space. Don't make a fuss over anything, even if it's complete shit" "It's easy for you to say that. He seems to trust you more than he trusts us" "That's not true. He can't control his phobias or fears" "I saw how you were with him at the hospital" "And now that he's home, he won't let me near him. He was fine with Marco, because Marco is an omega. If you're so worried about upsetting him by, you're only going to push him away further" Since when was he the one who seemed to understand this relationship shit. He didn't get people. He didn't get day after day in a happy relationship. He had no idea where any of this was coming from, but when it came to Eren, it just seemed to come semi-naturally. * Living at Hanji's felt completely off. Zeke had taken special care to show him everything he'd done wrong. His brother had told him what was wrong with him, and now... he felt like he had no right to be moving around her and Moblit's house when they weren't there. It was strange. He'd... he'd missed them all so much. He missed seeing everyone... well, talking with Levi mostly. He'd struggled so hard to accept that he'd never see Levi again. That whatever they'd had, was now over. Zeke had gotten so mad when he'd mentioned Levi, his brother had thrown him in his room before he could even realise what he'd done wrong. He should have been happy to be back with Zeke, but he just... he wasn't. His brother had changed while they'd been apart. His words hurt just as much as when he'd hit him. He always apologised for losing his temper, but Zeke had started to scare him. Some days he'd be in such a bad mood, Eren would hide under his bed from him... until Zeke would drag him out and force him to talk. All he wanted was to be good, so his brother would love him. He didn't understand how he'd changed so much. How he'd become such a bad omega who needed to be retrained so thoroughly. He'd had two heats while back with his brother. His first heat was more or less normal for him. He could still function, but he'd slipped up. He'd thought of when he'd had sex with Levi, and how Hanji said that it was natural for omegas to touch themselves. He'd tried... he'd barely wrapped his hand around his aching erection when Zeke walked in. His brother livid at the action... slapping him so hard he tasted blood, before telling him it was dirty and wrong, before making him shower under the painfully cold water. He hadn't meant to be wrong. Zeke had taken care of him after that. He'd got him fresh pyjamas and underwear, before tucking him up in bed and apologising. Zeke always apologised. He only hit him because he cared. He loved Zeke. Zeke was the only family he had... but now Zeke was gone and he didn't know what to do anymore. Hanji and Moblit were both at work, and if things were how they'd used to be, he would have cleaned through the house by now. But that was wrong. That was invading their privacy. He didn't pay rent. He didn't pay for food, so he didn't deserve to eat any of it. He couldn't even pay them back for his latest stint in hospital. Or for all the medication he had to take. Levi had said they were happy he was back... but... he wasn't getting better. He still didn't want to be touched. He couldn't stay in the same room as Moblit for very long, and Hanji kept giving him looks of pity. So he spent his days in his room. Sometimes he'd talk to Marco, or Levi. But only if they messaged him first. He didn't want to disturb them. He didn't want to be a burden. Both of them were busy with their own lives, while he was simple just wasting oxygen. He'd thought about doing something about it... he really thought about it... but he was too scared it would hurt. He didn't want to hurt anymore. Everyday hurt. He missed Zeke, and he hated him for leaving him behind again. He was so fucking angry with his brother for dying. For making him someone else's problem and for the fact that no one would even talk about Zeke. He knew that was his fault. He always got so worked up when things some how turned towards him. Everyone wanted him to tell them what happened, even Thomas had tried asking... but he wasn't ready. He didn't want to see the blood anymore. He couldn't even remember Zeke's smile or scent... just the blood and the gurgling sound as it bubbled from his mouth. He felt like he was drowning and he didn't know how to pull himself out. It was surprising how much time had passed like that. He'd already been out of hospital for three weeks. He'd seen Marco twice in that time, and only seen Levi that once. He knew Levi would be there for him, if he reached out his hand, Levi would take it. But everyone he'd reached out to was dead. His mother... she'd protected him... so had Zeke and because he was so stupid and useless they were both gone. If Levi died... he couldn't live with it. The man might be short and cranky, and have really weird taste when it came to music... but so many people loved him. Hell, he saved people's lives. All Eren had ever done was let them die. He wanted to be strong. He wanted to be better so his brother would love and rely on him more... then he'd gone and failed him. It left him physically sick. Hanji didn't know it, but when he was alone, he threw up. His fears would get so bad. His stomach knotting and rolling as he wondered if she or Moblit would really come home. Sometimes the nausea lasted for hours, and some times he felt ok after he puked. The medication was supposed to help with it, but he supposed it didn't really work when you were as useless as he was. Medication never worked properly for him anyway. Thomas had asked him why he wasn't on suppressants, then looked at him like he was a freak when he explained they sent him into heat. It wasn't that he didn't like Thomas... he just felt sure that the man didn't like him. He didn't even know if Moblit liked him anymore. He hadn't been able to eat the cake he'd made... or much of his cooking. Moblit always looked so stressed and tired, and if he was putting a strain on him, wasn't it better they just got rid of him? There weren't enough hours in the day to fix his kind of fucked up... so why was he even around? Why did they bother to save him? * Parking in front of Hanji's, Levi climbed from his car. Both Hanji and Moblit were working, which meant Eren was home alone and after weeks of shitty split shifts, he'd finally got a rare day off, which he hoped to spend with Eren. He'd talked a little with Eren, and knew the omega wasn't handling things well. Hanji and Moblit had both said he spent most of his time in his room, so Levi hoped today's outing would perk the kid up. Normally he'd never set foot in a shitty filthy zoo. All the animals and people and shit. That was a nope. But Marco had messaged him, reaching out on Facebook to ask if he'd be up for joining him and Jean at the zoo. He wanted to invite Eren, but was scared his friend might have a panic attack from the crowds, or from Jean opening his mouth without thinking. They were going to meet up at 10, so he had just over an hour to get Eren up and dressed, before the drive. Shinganshima zoo wasn't a very big place, but like the aquarium on the opposite side of town, it conducted a lot of research, with a specialisation in breeding and trying to bring back species from the brink of extinction. Locking his Range Rover, he jogged up the path and to the front door, pressing he doorbell, before straightening out his clothes. He might have put some effort into looking good for Eren. The light grey shirt he wore hugged his chest nicely, while he'd coupled it with black jeans. Attempting causal without being a slob. When Eren didn't answer, he pressed the doorbell again, remembering how much the omega hated stairs. Giving Eren a few more minutes, he sighed to himself as he fished his keys back out, letting himself into Hanji's house "Hello? Eren?!" Closing the door behind him, he already knew Eren wouldn't be downstairs. Which meant heading up to his room. Taking the stairs two at a time, his heart dropped at the sight of Eren's open door. With how quite it was, his first thought was that Eren had run "Eren?!" "Coming!" Relief washed over him. Doubly so when the guest bathroom door opened, only for it to be snuffed out all over again when he was how distressed Eren was. Not caring about the fact Eren didn't want to be touched, the strode over to the brat and wrapped his arms around him "Hey... what happened?" Shaking his head sadly, Eren buried his face against his shirt "I don't know what to do" "Alright. Can you walk? Just to your room?" Sniffling Eren let himself be led back to his room, where he sank down onto his bed. Squatting down in front of him, Levi reached up and brushed his fringe from his face "Bad day?" "Y-yeah... s-sorry" "Wanna tell me about it?" "I... don't want to upset her" Her had to be Hanji "If it's got you this upset, I'm sure she won't mind you telling me" "I... they're going to get rid of me" "That's not happening anytime soon. She's crazy about you" "There... there was a positive test in the bathroom..." Positive test... oh... Hanji was pregnant... "I can't stay here now" "Hey, you know pregnancy isn't an instant thing. There's still months, and your room isn't the only room" "I... I don't want to stay here" Hiccuping out his words, Eren wiped at his face "Did something happen?" "I don't feel right being here..." Leaning forward, he swapped to kneeling so he could wrap his arms back around Eren "If they didn't want you here, you wouldn't be here" "It's all my fault" "It's not your fault. You haven't done anything wrong. Unless you're the one who got Hanji pregnant" "N-no... they have really loud sex... I... don't want to hear it... anymore" That's enough to scare anyone. They didn't know if anything like that had been done to Eren. They'd all suppressed the fact the omega had tested positive for syphilis, though he been treated and Levi hadn't even been told until Hanji accidentally let it slip when she'd explained the results from the syringe in Eren's arm had come back as free from prints other than his own "You've got your music right?" "Mmm... but... I can't stay here. I don't belong here. I don't belong anywhere" "Can I ask you a question?" "Y-yeah" "Have you felt like that ever since you came back here?" Eren paused, his voice filled with guilt as he replied "Yes. Hanji and Moblit try so hard... but I'm not getting better fast enough. Zeke showed me how wrong I was. How wrong I was for.. for touching their things and cleaning the house. He... he told me how wrong I was" Of course it came back to Zeke. Even dead, the arsehole still had a firm hold on Eren's mind. If Eren felt unloved and unwanted, and that his presence in the house was wrong, he was never going to make any kind of improvements. He already knew Eren was scared of sex, so hearing Hanji and Moblit boning didn't help either "You're not wrong. I'm..." Shit. He didn't know how else to fucking phrase this "I'm not saying Zeke was wrong, but everyone in the world is different. We all have different thoughts and ideas and different ways we get through life. What Zeke taught you, that was his way. It's different to how Moblit and Hanji live. I'm not saying it's wrong, only that it's different" "I don't know what's right anymore" "Eren, do you remember the offer I made you? I told you if you felt like this wasn't working, you can come live with me, or Erwin, or one of our friends" "I don't want to burden anyone else" "You are not a burden. Besides, I two spare rooms, and a cat that spends most of his time alone" "But you're an alpha" "And your an omega" "I have messed up heats... I don't want to upset you" "Eren, we don't have to spend your heats together..." Even if he really wanted to "... I can stay with Erwin, or you can come back here. The most important thing to all of us is that you're safe. I'm not saying you have to say yes right now, but think about it?" Eren nodded, still wiping at his tears "Why did you come over?" "Shit. Right. I totally forgot. We have a date" "We what?" "You, me, Jean and Marco" "Did I forget something again?" "No. Marco asked if I wanted to join them at the zoo. He wanted to ask you, but you'd need a lift so I'm just the driver. No pressure" "No pressure?" "I don't want you to feel uncomfortable, but I thought the zoo would make a nice change. You really liked the aquarium" "Marco wanted me to come?" "Yeah. He messaged me and asked when my next day off was. He also thought you might like another friend who wasn't Jean to hang out with" "Jean has a big mouth... I'm going to slow everyone down" "Why?" "The stupid boot" "The boot isn't invited" "But Hanji..." "Hanji isn't here and you've been cooped up enough. Besides, Marco is pregnant. We'll probably be taking things pretty easy" "No boot... promise?" "Yeah. Also, you have the best paramedic in the whole city with you" Eren snorted out a small laugh "You did save him before... I've... I don't know what to do. I've never been to the zoo before" "You'd never been to the aquarium either, but you still had fun" "I don't have much money either" "That's fine. Consider this an apology" "Apology for what?" "I don't know yet, but I'm likely to do something in the future I'll need to apologise for" "I don't know... you're really nice" "Not always. Just ask Titan" "I don't know what to wear" Eren seems to "not know" much more than Levi remembered him not knowing. The omega was a wreck of sour scent and insecurities. He'd known something was off, but Eren hadn't asked for his help. He should have found a way to swing by sooner "Have you showered today?" "That's what I was doing" "Ok. So what's wrong with what you've got on?" "They're my pyjamas" "I won't tell, if you don't" "I'm not wearing my pyjamas. I want to look okish" "For who?" "What do you mean "for who"?" "Who do you want to look good for?" "Me?" "I was going to say I don't think Marco would care if you showed in your pyjamas, and I wouldn't either. But this is something you want for yourself and you need to do more of that self care shit. Why don't you choose something, and I'll wait by the stairs" "Ok... I need to find my wallet and phone too... it's somewhere in here. I threw it somewhere last night" "It's probably flat them" Eren's lip trembled, despite the fact he was trying to pull himself back together "It's fine. You can use mine for photos" "But... what if you want to use it?" "It's my day off. No ones going to be stupid enough to try and talk to me" "What if there's an emergency?" "Then you'll pass it back to me, right?" "You won't be mad?" "No Eren, I'm not going to be mad. I know you like learning new things" Eren's small smile fell away "Zeke said I learned all the wrong things" "We just had this conversation brat. There's a difference between different and wrong. And everyone's interpretation of them. Ok. You didn't learn things that we consider wrong. Now go pick out some clothes" Eren emerged from his room wearing jeans and an oversized hoodie. It wasn't really hoodie weather, but Levi could see a shirt peaking out from under the hoodie. With a tiny, shy smile, he had Levi's heart racing for all the right reasons. The kid had pulled himself together, and now he was facing the world that he was so scared of. Taking each step slowly, Eren looked to him as if he was proud to be doing something as simple as walking down the stairs. At least if the kid moved in with him, he wouldn't have to worry about the stairs anymore. He'd never really thought about sharing his personal space with anyone, yet he had the feeling that if it was Eren, everything would work out in the end. The omega wouldn't be left alone for hours on his own, Titan would make sure of that. And being in the city, there was always noise and movement, not like out in the suburbs. It would also be closer to the hospital, and to Eren's therapist... they could work to getting him to the point where he could attend his session alone. As for money, it wasn't like Levi couldn't afford to take Eren in. He'd grown up having nothing after his mother died, and had worked hard to get where he was, saving every cent from the shit jobs that got him through high school, then by some miracle, he'd found himself living with Erwin and getting into medical school. It wasn't until his estranged uncle passed that he finally had proper money to get himself set up. Once his probation passed, it would be like it never happened. His job stable enough that he didn't need to worry about finding another... or it would be, provided he didn't punch anyone else. If Eren came to live with him, then all the omega would have to worry about is cleaning up after himself and working out what he wanted in his own life. Levi could and would support him any way that was possible... though it might be his own arrogance showing, but he would be happy with that kind of life "Uh, Levi? Are you ok?" Blinking back to reality, he realised he'd spaced out while watching Eren. The omega blushing slightly as he stared back "Sorry. I was day dreaming" "Do I want to know what it was about?" "Titan" "You were staring at me, while thinking of your cat" "Yep. Let's go, before he finds out" "He's a cat and he's at your place. How is supposed to find out?" "It's a cat owner thing. They know everything, and they see everything. They don't even need to be near you to be mad at you. In all honesty, you never really own a cat. It owns you. Your house. Your furniture. The soul of your first born child..." "Cats sound funny" "They are. You should have seen Titan as a kitten. Everything was too much effort for him, that and his arse was too heavy. He couldn't even climb onto the sofa because that was too much effort" "Shit. That would have been adorable" "It was. Until he finally got big enough to climb. After that, no toes were safe" "What about now?" "He's mellowed in his old age. He much prefers curling up next to you while you sleep, or stretching out and making it impossible to move" "I've never had a pet before" "Titan would love to have the company" "You said "no pressure"" "I know. I'm just saying. Anyway, in order to leave, we actually have to go" "Like outside the door?" "Yep" "God. The effort..." Walking over to the front door, Levi opened it for Eren. Eren giving him an exaggerated sigh before limping towards it "Does your ankle hurt?" "No, it's just stiff from that stupid boot. It'll loosen up" "If it starts to hurt, let me know" "Yes, Mr Doctor Levi, sir" "Sir? That's a new one, brat" Eren shrugged, heading out the door in front of him. Sir... he wasn't one for pets names, but something ran through him at the sound it it. Sir. Maybe it was Eren's answer to brat? * Sitting in Levi's car, Eren wasn't sure about the zoo thing. He was happy to see Marco, but wasn't thrilled about seeing Jean. Even if Jean didn't mean any harm, he always just spat out whatever he was thinking. When he woke up that morning, he'd never thought he'd be going to the zoo, or having a breakdown in Levi's arms. He was just grateful the he'd showered after vomiting. He was happy and excited for Hanji, she and Moblit had wanted babies for so long. But he didn't know if he could handle being around a hormonal Hanji, or a baby. He didn't know what set off his anxieties, and often he'd snap over nothing, at himself. He didn't want anything happening near the baby. Letting his eyes wander over Levi's dashboard, his attention was caught by the gold chain looping down from around the rearview mirror, a small gold turtle pendant swaying with movement of the car. That hadn't been there the last time he'd been in the car... and it was so pretty, and something Levi wouldn't have bought for himself. His heart dropped a little. If Levi hadn't bought it for himself, then someone had gifted it to him. Someone important enough that Levi had it hanging in his car, where it was a constant reminder of that person "Brat? You ok?" "Yeah. Um... how much further?" "We're nearly there. It's not a huge place, but I think you'll like it" "Have you been before?" "Nope. This one's new to me too" He was right. Zoo's weren't really Levi's thing. Was Levi really ok with going to the zoo? Staring down at his lap, he mumbled at his hands "We don't have to go if you don't want to" "I didn't say I didn't want to go" "But there must be a reason you haven't" "Because I had no one I wanted to go with before" "You have Hanji and Moblit" "Can you imagine trying to go to the zoo with Hanji? It would be a nightmare. She'd probably just get us kicked out, or get herself lost" "Then why go with me? And Jean and Marco?" "Because you're not annoying, like Hanji. And before you say you are, you're not" "But... you don't know Jean and Marco" "No, not really. I know Jean is an enormous arse, and that Marco is your best friend. They're important to you" "That's to me, not to you" Levi sighed, the man drumming his fingers on the steering wheel as they came to a stop at red light "Look. What do you want me to say?" "I want to know why you'd do this. For someone like me. You just don't seem like the kind of person who'd want to go to a zoo willingly" "You really don't know?" What was he supposed to know? He felt like he didn't know much of anything anymore, not that he really had "No?" "You're important, ok. Just like Marco is important to you, you're important to me. Now I sound like a shitty idiot. I'd planned to take you at some point, Marco just got in sooner than I did" "You wanted to take me?" "Yeah. I saw how happy the aquarium made you" "But you don't like zoos" "I thought you would like it" "But you don't" Levi sighed again "Eren, I wanted to bring you out here. I wanted, want to do things with you" "Don't you get mad at me for not knowing anything?" "No, I don't. It's honestly refreshing, spending time with you that is. Now, do you have any more questions?" "No..." "You're not going to ask about the necklace? You keep staring at it" Sprung. He hadn't meant to be so fucking obvious "It's just pretty" "Do you want to know why it's hanging there?" Yes! No. Maybe. He did, but he didn't want to hear Levi had found someone special "You don't have to tell me" "I bought it for you. When we were at the aquarium. You were so excited over the turtles, and the stone reminds me of your eyes. I was going to give it to you at some point, but then you left... and I kept it up there. To remind me of you" "What do I say to that?" "You don't have to say anything" "I didn't think... that I meant that much to you... " That didn't quite sound how he'd wanted it to sound, so rushed to add "That you'd hang a necklace up and all" "Brat. You're really fucking dense sometimes. You know I care about you" "Um... I'm sorry. I... uh, didn't mean it how it sounded" So he was important to Levi! And the alpha actually cared about him. The necklace wasn't something he'd choose for himself, but he felt stupidly happy knowing Levi had chosen it just for him, and it wasn't a gift to the alpha "Give me a minute, you can put it once we reach the zoo" "You still want me to have it?" "I bought it for you, so yes. If you don't like it, you don't have to put it on" "No. No. I like it. Thank you" He'd been so down this morning, now it felt like he was in some kind of dream. Maybe he'd lost his mind? Pulling into the zoos carpark, Levi managed to find a spot near Jean's car. His friends were making out as if they weren't in public. Blushing, he looked away from the sight "I bet they don't even realise we're here" "Probably not... come here" Taking the necklace down from around the mirror, Levi undid the clip and waited for him to lean in. Placing the necklace around his neck, Eren's heart raced at the close and intimate touch across his nape. Whining softly, he wanted to throw himself into Levi's hold, but it was over way too soon. Pulling his hand back, Levi took the small pendant into his hold "It suits you, but it's only plated, so you'll want to take it off when you shower" "Ok, thank you" He sounded out of breath. Snorting lightly, Levi pulled back completely, the moment over between them. Leaving Eren slightly disappointed Levi hadn't kissed him "Oh, Marco's noticed us" "I suppose we should probably get out of the car then" Jean and Marco were still straightening themselves out as Eren climbed from Levi's Range Rover, ending up with him seeing more of Jean than he'd wanted to. Rushing to the back of Levi's car, he shook himself off, feeling like the image of the alpha's spent junk was going to haunt him forever "You ok, you look a little pale" "I just saw Jean's dick... it... was gross" Levi laughed openly, reaching out and pulling him into a hug "Who would have thought shy little Marco had it in him?" "Of course he's had it in him, he's pregnant" "Fuck, brat. I've missed your sarcasm" "I've been traumatised" "They're your friends" Pulling away from Levi, he really wished the alpha hadn't hugged him. Knowing Jean and Marco were sexual deviants was one thing, but he didn't want to see it... now Jean and Marco were going to smell like sex. Couldn't they have got it out there system before they'd gotten to zoo? Or even once they got inside. Somewhere where he didn't have to see it! "Not when they're... can we just go? They can catch up" "Are you ok?" "It's nothing" "Eren" "It's nothing ok. Let's just go"

[expertfitnesstipsblog-blog]

'I've never taken medication in my life'

Like most of us, Cyndi O’Meara has a few ailments now and then. But unlike pretty much anyone, she has never taken any form of medication to deal with it. That means no specific medications, no antibiotics and no painkillers.She has never taken a single Panadol tablet in her life – not even when she’s broken bones.The Queensland-based nutritionist was taught from young to master her pain levels and was raised on an almost exclusively organic diet. A wholefoods educator, Cyndi now writes about organic, sustainable and ethical issues on her website Changing Habits and was recently nominated for the Best Organic Influencer Award at the upcoming 2019 Australian Organic Industry Awards, where 40 other notable innovators will also be vying for awards.The 58-year-old from Mooloolaba says she gets all the vitamins and nutrients she needs to stay healthy from eating organic produce and says apart from the odd headache, rarely gets sick or feels the effects. A cracked rib and broken toe a few years ago barely registered. She even had German measles and malaria but never became ill. “To my surprise routine blood tests revealed that I’d contracted both of these illnesses at some point in my life although I have no idea when, because I have never felt sick with either of them!” she says.Cyndi, who also sells organic products and runs educational courses on her site, says her father, a former pharmacist, eventually came to believe that taking medication was not always the most effective treatment. He re-trained as a chiropractor and discovered vitalism – the central tenet in naturopathic medicine – which believes in treating individuals holistically.Your body has the ability to make its own painkillers“Growing up whenever I had a pain or bug, Dad would just say, you can deal with it, you can get through the pain it will go away, and it always did. He wanted us all to develop strong pain coping mechanisms,” says Cyndi. “By the time I was in high school it was just a way of life. When I was 12, I broke my foot playing netball and a year later I broke my collarbone in a judo match. The breaks were initially painful, but apart from strapping, I took nothing for it and the feeling subsided. Dad said to me that my body would know how to heal itself.” She says everyone’s body has the ability to learn how to fight infections and illnesses on its own without intervention and that we have the capacity to make our own painkillers within us. “Unfortunately, most people’s systems are not used to doing this effectively,” she says. “When babies start to teeth and get grizzly, the first thing mums do is put a teething gel on their gums to numb the pain. Your body gets conditioned to depend on these crutches, so it never becomes truly strong. You can increase your own tolerance to pain but it takes practice. Resting when you have a headache instead of automatically reaching for a pill is a good way to start.”A healthy organic upbringingCyndi grew up in Bendigo with her parents and siblings in a house which had no medicine cabinet, and no pantry. The family grew their own vegetables and made every single meal from scratch so apart from a few spices, there was no bought canned food. Her grandfather had advocated since the 1940s against using pesticides on crops, and so everything they ate was organic.Having given birth to all her three children drug-free, Cyndi decided she wanted to raise own kids now aged 29, 27 and 25, in the same manner. Two of her children have also never taken any kind of medication, and her daughter has only taken antibiotics once. “She was given them against my wishes following a dental procedure which made me really furious because I felt they were unnecessary and all it did was decimate her gut bacteria,” Cyndi says. All her children grew up with a strong tolerance to pain and true to form, when her son broke his arm at 13, he was offered painkillers at the hospital but declined.Cyndi and her husband Howard now have a 24ha property and eat most of their own organic produce. They have cattle which they use for their meat, raise their own chickens for eggs and buy whatever else they need from organic farmers and growers. She rarely sets foot in a supermarket. With many devoted followers, Cyndi says she’s pleased that the organic movement has become so popular in recent times.“I’m hopeful that all the publicity about the dangers of Roundup pesticide and its links to causing cancer will further educate people about the benefits of eating organic food. It’s just simple really, if you put chemicals into your body, your body then needs to figure out how to get rid of it or cope with it. Why put that pressure on your system?”Although she’s lived her whole life without medicine, Cyndi says that if she had to take drugs for a serious medical reason, she would. “I’m not silly and whilst I live my life without drugs, I know that in certain circumstances they’re necessary. I just don’t believe they’re necessary as much as we think and I’m living proof of that.”The Australian Organic Awards 2018 will be held in Canberra on Tuesday, November 27.Is organic food really better for us? Plus, 5 questions pharmacists always get asked. Source link Read the full article

[wandacmosley]

Prescription Opioid Abuse After C-Section: Use Medications with Care

According to the National Vital Statistics Reports, the total number of cesarean deliveries in 2015 was 1,272,503. This accounted for 32 percent of all deliveries in the United States in 2015. Women who had undergone a cesarean section (C-section) recount that they experienced excruciating pain post-delivery. However, that was not all.

Apart from the surgical pain, they also had to cope with the increasing hormone levels, depleting vitamin levels and rising responsibilities due to the newborn. Adding to their woes were the hospital staff members who found it easier to keep mothers sedated post-operation and “voiceless” by prescribing medications like Percocet, way more than necessary.

Percocet, derived primarily from oxycodone (a Schedule II analgesic), is responsible for causing alterations in the mother’s brain. The impact of such drugs is quick; it sensitizes the pain receptors. As a result, the mother is less burdened by painful sensations. However, it has side effects like withdrawal pangs, discomfort and anxiety, which are apparent when the mother of the newborn is on her own. The risks of addiction are also high.

More pills equate to higher addiction risks

According to Marvin M. Lipman, Consumer Reports’ chief medical adviser, while opioids are necessary for post-surgical care, they need to be used with care. A research, conducted on 720 mothers who had a cesarean, found that nearly 615 or 85 percent of the participants had been prescribed opioid painkillers.

In the end, nearly 84 percent of the women had medications left with them. Though women used only half of the prescribed pills, it was evident that there is a direct relationship between the number of pills prescribed and usage. It was observed that women who were prescribed more pills tended to use more pills.

“These are addictive medications,” says Brian Bateman, chief of obstetric anesthesia at Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston and lead author of two of the three studies relating to overuse of opioids in women who had undergone a C-section. He further adds, “For some patients, being exposed, even in the setting of appropriate treatment for pain, may precipitate an affinity for the drug that leads to subsequent chronic use and even abuse.”

Cesarean with fewer opioids

In case the odds of giving a cesarean birth are high, it is essential to ensure that some effective measures are undertaken to lower the risks of developing an opioid use disorder (OUD) later. Some such steps are:

Talking to the doctor about pain management: Before conceiving, it is essential to have a plan in place. Apart from creating a pain management strategy, one could also use some time-tested means for alleviating pain post-discharge. Arnica gel and tablets, cinnamon and garlic supplements, coconut water, omega-3 fatty acids, apple, cider, vinegar, etc., can help reduce the muscle pain and swelling associated with a C-section.

Using opioids short term: Overall, opioids are meant only for short-term use. Taking them for a long time increases the risk of abuse and dependency. Such a measure needs to be undertaken despite the fact that most women who have undergone a C-section find everyday tasks daunting and the pain intolerable. They are the easy victims of prescription pills.  

Disposing unused medications properly: The opioid epidemic is widespread in the U.S. According to the recent Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) report, there were 11.8 million past year opioid users in the U.S in 2016. Of these, a vast majority misused prescription pain relievers. They either stole them or got them through other sources. Moreover, opioids left carelessly also contributed to the rise of the opioid epidemic.

Using nonaddictive over-the-counter (OTC) medications: Certain medications like ibuprofen or naproxen (Aleve and generic) could be used with medical guidance for getting relief from pain post a C-section.    

Road to recovery

Getting rid of an opioid-using habit is difficult. It is even more so in the case of mothers of newborns, who find themselves in a messy state. Due to the potential of opioids to alleviate pain, most opioids may seem heaven sent. However, the risks of prescription drug use are immense, both for the baby and the mother. A mother who takes opioids while lactating risks passing on the drugs to the baby as well.  

If you or your loved one is suffering from an addiction to opioid or any other drug, contact the Prescription Drug Addiction Help to get more information on the best prescription drug abuse treatment centers that specialize in evidence-based intervention plans. Call at our 24/7 helpline 866-623-3847 to know more about the prescription drug abuse treatment centers in the U.S.