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rockettransman · 5 years ago

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Rocketman Watch #4 Thoughts

i have so many MORE thoughts can you believe it wow here we go

(i wrote these as i watched it so they’re in order im p sure)

man, his intro monologue during group therapy is just as gripping as it was when I first watched it. And the transition to the bitch is back is so fuckin good. My palms are sweating.

There’s some commentary about forgiving and loving your inner/past child, but I don’t have the words for it at this moment. In the beginning he’s staring down, confused and scowling at his child self, but at the end, he embraces him in a way his father and loved ones never did.

Was he in therapy/rehab WHILE touring and doing music? Stomping into the room in his regalia would have me believe so. I know group therapy was a medium for storytelling. Was it just signaling the very beginning of his story, because we go through different stages through his actions and clothing changes?

Lmao I imagine it must take some pretty cool parents to allow their, like, six or seven year old child to be in this movie. He said bitch so many times.

Took me a hot second to realize the orchestra he’s conducting is playing Rocket Man. The violins are so pretty. Imagine being picked to be in the orchestra on set and getting smile up at the tiny little kid who played Elton. My heart would absolutely swell seeing a little kid being so fantastic at this really intense job.

Kit Connor did amazing in his role. He’s fifteen and he’s already done so much! Imagine growing up knowing you played Elton John as a kid. Getting to work alongside him and his husband and the dozens of incredible actors. Wowie. I’d never shut up about it.

I LOVE how 12 year old Elton is playing the piano SO HARD and is trying to rock out as hard as he can while playing classical music. The boy wanna ROCK dammit.

HE GLANCED UP THE TINIEST BIT WHEN THE MAN ASKED IF ANYONE HAD A FAG (slang for cigarette)

SATURDAY NIGHTS ALRIGHT GIVES ME CONSTANT CHILLS FROM THE START TO FINISH

WOOOW SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD ELTON IS CUTE AS HEEELLLL. The hair, glasses, and front tooth gap fit Taron so well. Goddamn I hope I look like 17 year old Elton some day.

The choreography for this number is absolutely breathtaking. You have to get that many people all in sync! We followed Elton running through the crowd and AAHHH it was a lot! The athleticism! And they did it in the rain! Wow I’m blow away.

Elton is JAMMIN in the back of the stage. It’s really sweet to see his smile and enthusiasm and his brain thinking and working.

That guy in the back peed a LOT lmao

I was wondering where thank you for all of your loving came in.

Charlie Rowe plays Ray Williams, and he also plays LEO ROTH from Red Band Society!!! The first time I watched the movie, I KNEW him from somewhere, but I couldn’t place it and it was driving me nuts. Man. RBS was a big crutch during the worst lows of my ED. Had no idea he was English.

Love to see how shy Elton was as a teenager. It’s a hot ass mood. Also, those silk scarves? Ascots? idk but they’re a LOOK.

“One frothy coffee, no froth.”

The acquaintances-to-best-friends montage set to Border Song *chefs kiss*

Rock And Roll Madonna Is A Perfect Song Send Tweet

Lmao Elton is NOT phased at all when he gets accused of being gay. He’s just like. “Nah. I’m like. Not.” Not overly defensive and surprised, like I’m sure other people would be lmaooo

STUMBLING HOME DRUNK WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND IS A MILESTONE IN TEENAGEHOOD!!!!!!!

“You are a ssSSHHIIIITT HOT piano player—”

So delicate of Bernie the way he politely denied a kiss from him. It wasn’t weird or tense at all. Just a gentle “love you, but not that way. It’s okay” Some people may not be able to handle it that well even today.

Taron’s got nice thighs. That robe & underwear getup is a nice look.

Love love LOVE hearing him experiment with Your Song on the piano to find a melody that worked.

Honestly what the shit do these songs even mean. Bernie sometimes these words don’t make any sense. Don’t worry, they still slap. “See I’ve forgotten if they’re green or they’re blue” like what

AMOREENA IS A PERFECT SONG SEND TWEET

Doug flirting with Bernie makes me snort every time. “Oh, really? That’s.. cool.”

THE TROUBADOUR OUTFIT IS GOOD AS SHIT!!!!!!!!

“NO, BERNIE. YOU ARE UNDERREACTING.”

Taron was right. The overalls do make his ass look massive.

A week ago before this movie I was sick and fuckin TIRED of crocodile rock but now I can’t get enough of it. The movie transformed a lot of old songs I was sick of for me.

Imagine being a kind of shy, nervous kid, terrified to go on stage, but two and a half minutes later the entire venue is LOSING IT because they love the jam YOU WROTE. how cool for Elton.

I want a best friend platonic cheek kiss :(

Hmmmmm I’m wondering if they used the studio recordings that went on the album for the movie or have different movie-specific recordings. Tiny Dancer sounds a teeny bit different in the movie version.

Goddamn I sure hope Taron got to keep that jacket.

“So you liked the song, then?” “Not as much as the singer” *Elton glances away in gay panic*

LMFAO John said some weird colorful words to Elton that barely made sense and he was like OH FUCK GOTTA KISS HIM GOTTA KISS HIM

I’ve talked so much about the sex scene I don’t need to go on about it here. Go search the rocketman tag on my blog for my extensive gay thoughts about it.

Now I know glasses come OFF during sex

oh oh oh I was wondering where Hercules fell in the movie. I love how the songs he’s writing or getting notoriety for is played over the transition scenes.

Elton’s hand on his hip, knowing smirk as John enters the studio. “Hello.”

Bernie is like “HELLO are we RECORDING or are y’all gonna FUCK in the CLOSET?”

*vibrating* Honky Cat Honky Cat Honky Cat Honky Cat

Damn, the flowy white button down with the red pants really is a LOOK

The gestures, staring up at each other, leaning into each other, hands on each other’s chests, damn it makes me feel some typa way. Maybe their love WAS good and fun and exciting while they rode the high of everything before it all went so so bad.

Elton searching John’s gaze while he’s talking and looking like he’s not really paying attention, just looking for a kiss on the couch.. GOD I remember the honeymoon phase of my relationships. So much fun.

His dad going “N-Not really my thing.” That was a metaphor for his SEXUALITY TOO, huh.

Damn. He went to his dad’s to come out to him and he never even got to get to that part. He was just like “....nice shoes....” and even after all this time, didn’t show any interest in his music. If he never was into what he did, how could he even talk about being gay? I’m sure during that scene there were a lot of metaphors to sexuality but I didn’t bother to think much about them.

The eyebrow quirk after his dad says “ah—no. Could you make it out to Arthur?” DAMN Elton was like .. “really. This is what’s happening? Okay. Awesome.”

“What do you have to do to get a fucking drink around here, eh?” *cuts to Elton drinking straight from a bottle*

“Elton—” “Elton!”

John saying “don’t you ever put your hands on me” when he was the one who yanked him from the phone booth AND directly after punching him... woof man. What a shitty dude.

Damn, just noticed John talking very quietly and closely to another man right before he goes on and plays Pinball Wizard. Was this the first sign of him having fun with other men when Elton was indisposed?

Pinball Wizard is absolutely intense and loud and fun, but it DOES carry the tone of “god im SO miserable” under it all. You knew Elton wasn’t having fun.

“It is next week.” Jeezus.

LMAO I just caught the “mom, you’re ON my GOWN” when he reluctantly complies to give the Anderson’s a tour.

Damn, flowy, loose dress shirts with the first few buttons undone is a LOOOOK.

How did they do the overdose scene, you think? Surely the pills Taron took had to be like. Empty. Or placebo affect drugs? Idk. He did take a big drink directly after stuffing his mouth with them. I don’t think he spit them out.

God, there is SOMETHING symbolic about how he meets his child self at the bottom of the pool. Rock bottom? Apologizing? Wishing he could be better? Telling him he’ll never be better?

OH I watched a behind the scenes cut about the pool scene, and none of it was CGI. Taron was weighted under his robe and a SCUBA diver was on standby to provide oxygen. The singing and bubbles coming out of his mouth and stuff underwater was all real.

Dying to know about the choreography around the second chorus, about the undressing and twirling and dressing and injection and handing off of the bat and stuff. That sequence was incredible.

Bennie and the Jets. Damn. It fucks. I listened to it almost the entire time on my run today. (Five miles; I felt like garbage the entire time but it was good anyway.) The scene is wild. He’s in the middle of a drug induced haze orgy. He SHOULD be having the time of his life but he’s so goddamn miserable. (Also, the juxtaposition between Chris Fleming’s Bennie and the Jets is so funny.)

Part of the problem was that John never understood Elton. But, Elton broke it off with John, not the other way around like he said it was. He wasn’t the victim in that regard. John did treat him like shit though.

Victim of Love plays right after that lmao

Renate and he aren’t even close when they do the duet to don’t let the sun go down on me. They’re separated in different rooms, mirroring literally how closed off their relationship was.

The shot with them waking up in different rooms.. damn

His shirt is so LOUD I’m going crazy

Watching Taron down that orange juice made me a little nauseous I gotta say

“Not really I’m gAy”

It’s CRAZY to watch Elton and his mom interact at the dinner scene. He gets accosted and accused of so much by his mom, claiming SHE’S the victim of his actions, making it all about HER and then he turns around and does and says the exact same shit to Bernie.

He yells “Oh, don’t be so dramatic!” at Bernie as he gets into a taxi. THE PROJECTION!! THE DEFLECTION!!!!

I know there’s only so much they can put in two hours, but I wish they showed more of Elton’s eating issues. He had bulimia for sixteen years before he got help. It’s Absolutely the Man With Anorexia in me, but seeing that even men deal with eating disorders quells the lonely aching something in me. I feel that much less alone, you know. Eating disorders aren’t a “woman’s disease.”

How do you think they did his hair? A wig adds more hair, not take it away. He didn’t get his hair cut for it did he?

Seeing Elton’s first love fall apart because John was such a selfish, heartless prick in reality makes me sad.

Elton hugs his inner child when he reconciled with everyone in his past. Goddamn. He found peace and forgiveness for himself, who he was, even after all that time.

When Elton asks him not to go, Bernie refuses, saying this is something he had to do on his own. Healing comes from within alone. No one can help you do it. People can guide you, but you have to work at it. It’s fucking lonely sometimes, but it’s so, so worth it.

I used to loathe I’m Still Standing since i heard it so much at work, but the movie changed my entire perspective on it. I love the slow build up as he exits the rehab center. You don’t get thrown into something so happy and fast paced and fun after a cathartic climax you need to drink in. And the pan to his hat with the rainbow stripe to his smile. I get chills every time. Elton feels so right and secure and happy in himself. At first I thought it was a bit cheesy, but accepting your sexuality, especially after all the hell he went through during his life, grappling with unresolved trauma and fear of abandonment, he absolutely should wear it loud and proud. It’s easy to think times are much easier now being gay, and it shouldn’t be such a big deal. Relative to 1975, it is easier. But it doesn’t mean it’s not such a rough personal thing to work through if you’ve been spit on and resented all your life. Being gay, coming out, and accepting and being comfortable with that fact must’ve been such a HUGE milestone in Elton’s recovery and self-esteem.

Love me again after I’m still standing is perfect. The credits make me tear up every time. Jeez. What a good movie. What a good movie. Hit me up if you wanna talk about Rocketman because I absolutely will with you.

#like if you read pls #noah.txt #rocketman #elton john #rocket man #bernie taupin #richard madden #john reid

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ahkaraii · 7 years ago

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What are your OTPs, BroTPs, and NoTPs? I’m getting a feeling that GaixKakashi is one of your favs ;)

OHOU! What an interesting question! It’s no secret I’m a multishipper, so I can happily and quite placidly ship multiple conflicting pairings at the same time – usually by making up different possible timelines in my head. While I have some pairings I actively seek out more than others, know that I can be convinced to ship (and therefore read, write, and draw) practically anything.

And I do mean anything ahahaha sorry world~

For example, I ship Kakashi with just about everyone under the sun. You can throw him against anyone and how he reacts (and how they react to him) is immensely interesting to me. Can be sexual, can be platonic, can be consensual or not, I embrace any and all fictional content if he’s in it!!

Primarily, though, the ships I adore the most are as follows:

- Kakashi and Gai (endgoal relationship 4sure; as husbands or as queerplatonic bros, I don’t mind, I just want them to live until they die close by each other)

- Kakashi and Tenzo/Yamato/Kinoe

- Kakashi and Obito and Rin

I’m also absolutely open to playing around with what ifs involving Kakashi and Minato and/or Kushina, or Kakashi and Team 7 (Sakura, Naruto, and/or Sasuke in any possible combination), or Kakashi and his other peers (aka, Iruka or Asuma or Kurenai or Genma or hell, even Ibiki. S’all cool with this bean :D). My not-so-guilty ship is Kakashi/Jiraiya because I think they could have some pretty wild kinky sex with no strings attached and not lose any respect for each other.

For characters that aren’t Kakashi, I primarily ship:

- Hashirama and Tobirama (pretty much onesided on Tobirama’s part, but I will take any and all content – I am all for Tobirama’s diehard loyalty to Hashirama who could never quite allow himself to let it be mutual)

- Zabuza and Haku (similar to above, onesided for Haku for maximum angst, though of course I love it when they come as a set from the start too)

- Itachi and Kisame (though I’m all for onesided Kisame because Itachi throughout the story is emotionally dead and physically dying and not really there at all)

- Sakura and Ino, because god damn it they totally should have had a thing together at some point in canon why is this not a thing

- Yamato and Sai, because they are ex-ROOT and outsiders and could help each other understand the world (especially one where ninjas are no longer wanted or needed)

- Hiruzen and his backstabby but bizarrely enduring and very codependent ot4 with Danzo, Homura, and Koharu (and how this affects his family because man, Asuma hated his dad so very much, what was going on there, what happened here to evolve into such a fierce and adamant rejection for so damn long, I need to know more)

- Jiraiya and Tsunade and Orochimaru, because they were totally an ot3 as kids and my god they messed each other up big time, enough so all three ditched konoha on a semi-permanent basis, tell me more damnit i live for the mess

I also tend to love threesomes and moresomes, or dynamics between multiple people that transcend the usual platonic bond, so throwing an extra person into any of the aforementioned pairings is always up my alley.

For the darker ships, because you bet your bottom dollar I love the messed up, no-good mindfuck pairings as much as the saccharine and genuinely sweet ones, I ship –

(cw: child abuse, incest stuff)

- Madara and Obito (someday I intend to draw an extremely dark and mindfucky stockholm syndrome type comic about the year Obito spent trapped underground, set before Rin’s death, tentatively called “Lateralus (Spiral out, keep going)”)

- The Uchiha clan in general really (Madara/Izuna, Itachi/Sasuke, Itachi/Shisui, what is up with these incestual multigenerational uchihas, i want to know more about just how fucked up this isolated and insulated clan was and why it combusted)

- Danzo and ROOT (Danzo/Yamato is horrible and I am absolutely curious about it; Yamato and ROOT agents in general, too, there must have been jealousy there because Yamato came from nowhere and stole Danzo’s attention for years and years, and then Yamato stole their anonymity by going publically topside with Kakashi…….)

- Orochimaru and his test subjects (Orochimaru and Yamato’s dynamic post-canon fascinates me, what’s going on there; Orochimaru and Team Taka too, wtf is up with this dynamic; Orochimaru and anyone he’s ever been in contact with basically)

- Madara and Yamato, especially considering Yamato was captured for like, a ton of time in the fourth war??? And since Madara is 1000% obsessed with Hashirama and Yamato is a knock-off Hashirama clone…….

BASICALLY I HAVE THIS REALLY INTENSE YAMATO ORIGINS COMIC IN MY HEAD that I’d love to draw if time permitted but likely won’t ever happen (especially since it’d be so extremely dark and mindfucky and not mainstream appeal at all, ugh, why am I like this). In my headcanon his first “healthy” relationship was Kakashi, and even then it was weirdy because Kakashi was not in the best place to be in a relationship during his ANBU years…basically Yamato had an extremely messed up and confusing time growing up and even as an adult he was always kind of lost and being used by others. There is a happy ending tho, I promise!!! I like to think Yamato finds a place being Sai and Ino’s third, but anyway that’s a story for another day lmao~~

I don’t think I have a NoTP? There are characters I simply don’t care for, but I don’t particularly loathe any character enough to refuse to read well-written content of them. I can dislike a character because they’ve been poorly fleshed out or handled, sure, but honestly speaking I can convince myself to find anyone interesting under the right circumstances XD;;;

=bows shyly and ducks out=

#ask responses #naruto #tldr: karaii will sail on any and all ships as long as the crew is kind and welcoming enough #titans-assemble

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rametarin · 4 years ago

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The worst kind of gay “supporter” hears a straight man confess he loves another man, though heterosexually and platonically, and through jittering, deranged grins, perverse blushes and wheezing vicarious projection through them, headcanons them as gay or starts imagining them as ‘gay but in denial’ for their own romantic fantasies.

Sometimes they even ask the cis het dude, “Are you gay?”. Get told no, they aren’t gay. Then ignore the protests of the straight man, acting as though they weren’t just shut down, the record sent straight, and keep at them, asking if they’re gay. Asking, in a way that is all but accusing, all but feigning asking, and declaring them gay unless unambiguously refuted to a person with a vested interest in ignoring any answer they give, but the answer they want to hear.. The implied threat is they’ll ask, then run around blabbering their mouth to anyone else way too invested in the orientations and relationships of men, based on their speculations or fear to other people overly invested in their orientation and relationships that are none of their god damned business.

So the straight man becomes offended, agitated, not wanting such an accusation nor misunderstanding nor people assuming he’s same-sex attracted- for good or bad. resolves never to even approach such a subject matter with another man again. If he isn’t allowed to have feelings without their appearance retarding the sensibilities of other people and causing them to become manic and obsessive and bizarre, then he just won’t admit to having them nor express them. And shut people out of his life, whatever his orientation status.

You may say, “That’s ridiculous.”

Let me ask you; How many ‘crushed cigarettes’ jokes were made about implying women were sleeping with their mothers? And if you don’t get that, “Stop dad, you’ll crush my cigarettes” was a joke that used to tease and imply father/son incestual fucking.

Even in the fucking bible, there was a whole book written that was effectively fanfiction that was hugely popular among bible era gay fandom where they implied Jesus slept with one of his male disiciples, like the others, written long after Jesus was said to have lived and anyone that would’ve known him dead.

They just couldn’t help themselves. They had to try and slip in a story wholly about Jesus’ sexuality. Because straight men are not allowed to love without being these bizarre efefte bi or gay icons.

That’s why straight male love is reserved only for those that deserve it, and only shown towards those they love. More private than even their nudity. Because a blabbermouth that is DERANGEDly obsessed with male sexuality is unapproachable, indirect, and can ruin your life by ruining your reputation. And unless it’s a man spreading the rumors, you can’t even call them out and beat them to death for what they’ve done to the lowest common denominator’s hair trigger judgement of you based on reputation.

straight people really hear sam tearfully pleading with frodo not to go somewhere he cant follow, implying that sam would follow frodo literally anywhere except death, and still think that they weren't in love

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takaraphoenix · 7 years ago

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Sense8?

Okay, let me start with the flaws and then move on to the good stuff.

This show suffers in its first season from having too many characters at once. I understand that for the sake of the pun you need 8 main characters and by the time season 2 rolls around, you’re very familiar with them all and I wouldn’t want to cut any out.

But it’s so hard to digest in the beginning.

This show was recommended to me by both of my best friends separately. And both came with the warning that I need to watch at least until episode three before I can make a proper decision on whether or not I’ll continue watching it.

The thing is. They were right. I wanted to turn it off after one episode. But I trusted them and pushed and by episode four, I was totally addicted.

I recommended the show to my parents and they started watching it. My mom walked out of it after one episode, my father kept watching episode two and told my mother that “it got better” so she gave it another chance too. And by episode four, they were both hooked. Now they’re complaining to me about the lack of season three, shesh.

That’s a problem. A problem. Because me and my mother are certainly not the only ones who don’t give a show half a season time to grow on them. My rule of thumb is one episode and if it can’t hook me, I move on to the next show.

Since, as mentioned above, with season 2 I really wouldn’t want to cut any of the characters, I think it would have benefitted from… a different kind of split.

Tell the stories of less characters, but tell more of their stories per episode. Have the first episode only focus on four of the characters and give us a better chance to get to know them right away. Have then the second episode focus on the other four with the same. But throwing people right into just a tiny little bit of eight different characters is, certainly for many, overwhelming and confusing. Later on, when you know the characters, you can switch easily between them, but especially for the start when you 1.) don’t know any of them and 2.) have no idea what is even going on, it’s just too much at once.

That’s actually kind of my only complaint about it, because this show is fucking brilliant. And it deserves to be watched and not to be tuned out because its beginning is so confusing and overwhelming.

I mean, the idea behind it is a bit bogus, but I like bogus so there’s that.

This show… I don’t even know where to start.

The story telling is brilliant, once you’re actually used to who’s who and who’s where. The way their stories intertwine, how they interact.

I mean, personally I’d have wished for a couple more bonding moments between the individuals who don’t have that much screen-time together because it… is mainly certain pairs between the group that meet up and help each other and have more of a connection whereas I’d… I’d have loved for the seasons to have 15 episodes to stretch the plot and give them all more time to also just interact with each other. Because they’re amazing and their relationships are amazing and I’d like to see more interactions.

I have one very personal problem with the show and that’s Kala’s character and her relationship with Wolfgang, because I despise cheats. They’re the scum of the Earth and come for me riiight after rapists/child molesters and abusers, because that’s just how my moral compass is tuned. And the fact that she has multiple outs of the wedding with the really cute and sweet guy who adores her and she still pulls through with it and she still decides to cheat on him makes me hate her the most. If she had been set up into an arranged marriage, she’d at least get some leeway, but her parents never pushed - honestly, her dad is such a sweetheart - and it was all her idea. So really absolutely nothing gives her an excuse to act or feel like a victim when she decides to get married and then decides to cheat on him. It just makes her a bad person. I mean, if you got nothing against cheating and if you sail the ship, you go, but… it’s just not within the parameters of my moral and thus, I personally disapprove.

On that note, let’s move on to the good stuff!

Amanita Caplan is a treasure. I swear, Neets fast became my favorite character and the favorite character of my parents.

The supporting cast in this show is brilliant. You’d think that with eight main characters, it’d be so busy working with them that the supporting cast would fall flat in their development and design, but they’re amazing.

Kala’s dad is a pearl, Amanita is a treasure, Bug is so adorable I just wanna give him a hug, Daniella is literally me, Sun’s former teacher is such a calm sweet mentor and just… Every secondary character, they all have their own personality, they all have their well-defined relationship to their Sensate and they’re all memorable.

This show is character design and development on point.

What’s very important about this show and obviously needs to be addressed is its representation.

It blows my mind in what way they managed that. I genuinely can’t remember ever having seen representation for trans people in such a heartfelt way. It allowed me as a CIS woman to relate to her in a way TV has never done before, because they mostly just… put it in the sidelines. I’ve never seen a show that went into the struggle like that. That also managed to convey this… utter frustration over being misgendered in a way that had my mom nearly throw a shoe at the screen when Nomi’s mother just opened her fucking mouth.

I’ve seen trans story-arcs in Glee, Shameless and The Fosters. They all either only scratched the surface or only showed the trans character as agressively defensive without showing the struggle that led to that attitude (looking at you there, Shameless… though also The Fosters, until like over a season later when we got into his background story). This was the first time a trans story-arc clicked for me in the sense that it wasn’t just “another character and their background-story”, it was more than just a story-line or just a plot-device. It was very, very heart-felt, it was very, very relateable and it gave me, personally, more of an insight than anything I’ve ever seen before on TV.

Continuing on the note of representation. I, as a lesbian, felt very proudly represented by Neets - maybe another reason why I love her so much. TV lesbians are so badly done most the time. They’re just… plot-devices when the straight female lead has gone stale and they need to mix it up so the normally as straight portrayed female lead meets a lesbian and they have a relationship for a season or less before the lesbian is written out of the story and the other one goes back to her straight relationship, most of the time with the male lead (Mistresses, Gotham, I know there are more but I might have deleted them from my brain out of sheer frustration at this point). It’s never really clarified if the female lead identifies as pan or bisexual or if it was really just “the plot grew stale, we needed to mix it up so we had hot woman on woman action” - because that’s what it mainly is when there is a female/female relationship on TV. Two really hot chicks, kissing, making out and having sex as often as possible. Rarely do they involve the romantic sub-plot or feelings. It’s just about… jerk-off material for the men.

Amanita is so much more. Her love for Nomi is amazing. Her character is amazing. She is so much more than just The Love Interest, she saves Nomi’s ass so often, she is 120% behind her girlfriend and the cluster, she’s supportive, strong, witty. I love her. I love for what she stands, I love what she does, I love how she’s used in the show. She makes me, as a lesbian who has grown very frustrated with TV shows, have a little more hope in humanity.

Same goes for Lito, because it wasn’t just “He came out and everyone adored him and there were no problems” like TV sometimes does or “He came out and everyone hated him and there were all the problems” which is TV’s other route of action.

He was the perfect mixture, he showed the complexity. You got to see his struggle with coming out, the social problems it entailed, but also the support of those who loved him, the way his career seemed to be driven into a wall just to emerge even stronger.

And talking about Lito brings me to Danielle. I love Dani. She’s, after Neets, my favorite character, because she’s just… every fangirl ever. The way she reacted to finding two hot gay guys in bed was just “Hey! That’s the same face I just made!”. But, again, she is so much more than just a shallow “I like gay guys!” stereotype. With her abusive boyfriend, the way that it becomes obvious that she is so hung up on Lito and Hernando because she’s never been loved before, not by her parents who turn blind eyes on her abuse and rather have her stay with a man who beats her than with two gays, certainly not by said abusive ex. She just wants platonic love and Lito and Hernando are the first time she’s allowed to experience that without pain and it’s beautiful.

Something that I admire about Sun too. At first, she came off as very… flat and unemotional and just also unengaged and I thought that she might just be the one that slipped through the cracks when they did the character design, but season 2 beautifully unveiled her struggles and showed that she is indeed so much more and she too, just like Dani, just really needs and deserves love. And that she finds that for the first time in the cluster, but that she also really struggles with it. She’s always right there to help them whenever one of them needs her, but she is so reluctant to ask anything of them. But they’re there and they help her.

Jeez, I didn’t want to go through all the characters…

So let’s throw them together a little bit. Kala and Van Damn. Because they stand for something that amazed me too about this show. It didn’t just focus on this character’s personal struggle. It’s also getting political about countries I have zero idea about how things work and what’s going on there. Like, you as a Western person are aware of the lack of fresh water and the struggles, but the way Van Damn’s plotline just dove right into it and gave this insight into the situation, into how he handles life, it was… amazing. His family, his still carefree attitude about anything and I really liked when he actually got a love-interest in season 2 because that was its own version of two worlds clashing and he was just so cute about everything. He came so far and it’s amazing.

Same goes for Kala’s sub-plot about religion in India, showing a side that... hasn’t been shown often in TV (which is the only thing I want to say about her, because I think I made my opinion on her character clear up above already).

I have to admit that Riley and Will are coming a little short in my opinion. They didn’t start out that way, they started out with the same potential as all others, but while the others got to stay in their lives and tell their stories, those two just merged into not just their relationship but also the front representing their struggle against the bad guys. They sacrificed their own stories for the sake of being on the forefront of their fight, which yeah, someone had to, and I’m not too sorry it was them because I really don’t like their relationship and having the two of them just… do something useful while being together, that pleased me.

Now. Lastly. Wölfchen. Sorry, been calling him that since episode one. I just can’t with Wolfy. No. I dunno which German would call him that but I kinda doubt many. Wolf or, well, to tease, Wölfchen. But yeah, totally beside the point, It’s just that I always crack up when they call him Wolfy.

I LOVE THAT THE GERMAN’S THE CRIMINAL AND THE ONE WITH THE PAST ABUSE. It totally bothers my dad that the German is the criminal, but I just love myself a good criminal and thief. I mean, it took me… like… way too long to figure out that his plotline takes place in Germany but I instantly liked him from his first scene when they stole the gems. Like “Yees. I like a good thief”. It’s a thing, I blame Kaitou KID.

And, well, the child abuse. If you know me, you know I have a weakness for the characters who were abused as kids and keep fighting on. Just look at Percy Jackson and Jace Wayland, my little precious darlings.

But I also loved that it was just so… German.

When they had the flashback to Wolfgang and Felix in school, I just sat there in awe because… yeah, that’s a German classroom. That is a German classroom. It’s kind of… so different from the ones you get used to seeing on TV because it’s all American and just this little detail already really made me happy because yeah, I recognize “home” in it.

When they went to the Holocaust Memorial, I just sat there in awe at how well they filmed that. Because it is... very borign when you’re there, actually. But the way they filmed it perfectly conveyed the claustrophobic feeling you’re supposed to get there.

When they had the epic battle-scene on New Year’s Eve, I squealed because “Oh my gosh, that’s where I spent New Year’s six years ago when I was in Berlin! EXACTLY THERE!”. It’s kind of stupid but also not, but… Everything is New York and Los Angeles and San Francisco and Chicago, all the bigger American cities, but to see your own home on TV, to see something you actually recognize because you’ve been there before, it’s a weird kind of happiness. You won’t believe the squealing I did when my favorite character on Grimm said that his uncle was born in my home-town.

So, I think it’s really time to wrap this up now.

This show is absolutely worth the watch, even if you’re struggling through the first two episodes with confusion and a feeling of being overwhelmed. Its character design, its character development, its story-telling, its representation, its relatablitiy - they’re all so on point and beautifully done.

Story-telling wise this is an absolute masterpiece, in desperate need of others of its kind and I will be so sad to see it go but I’m also happy that at the very least we get a special to wrap it all up and not leave us high and dry.

#TV Rants #Fandom Rants #Sense8 #Ask me a show and I shall rant #I really NEED a third season for this show though #Amanita is the best #and so is Dani #nix-daughterofmagic

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bvckst · 7 years ago

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70 horrible questions

tagged by @kookno

1. do you have a good relationship with your parents?

kind of. my dad and i are pretty close, and my mom and i used to be really distant, but we’re starting to get more in touch with each other.

2. who did you last say “i love you” to?

i think either my grandmother or my best friend syd.

3. do you regret anything?

yeah like every single decision i make. my life is nothing but second-guessing every action i take.

4. are you insecure?

incredibly so.

5. what is your relationship status?

hopelessly single.

6. how do you want to die?

ok so this is going to sound really weird but my cousin and i have thought very deeply about this. we decided that we either want to become immortal (like technology evolves enough to make us live forever without getting old) or we want to die relatively young bc we don’t want to be old. that sounds really really bad but dude if we’re both immortal then we won’t be lonely.

7. what did you last eat?

raspberries.

8. played any sports?

yeah i used to play soccer and i was really good at it.

9. do you bite your nails?

yes, to the point that they bleed, and it’s really annoying.

10. when was your last physical fight?

in elementary school on the first day in T.A.G. class a girl kept teasing me and messing with me and stuff so i punched her in the stomach.

11. do you like someone?

yeah but im p sure i don’t even register to her.

12. have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

yeah finals week b.

13. do you hate anyone at the moment?

yeah a lot of people i have this bad habit of disliking people at the drop of a hat. too cynical.

14. do you miss someone?

yeah, my aunt moved really far away and we used to be super duper close.

15. have any pets?

yeah man two mastiffs ( gimli and daisy ) and two cats ( buddy and luna ) who are completely unrelated but have the exact same markings and are really hard to tell apart for strangers.

16. how exactly are you feeling at the moment?

excited bc i’m hanging out with friends tomorrow.

17. ever made out in the bathroom.

never made out period mate. a little too far for me.

18. are you scared of spiders?

i have a very hot and cold relationship with spiders. i understand that they are benign and i try to let them go their own way but if one happens to get too close or is a bit bigger than i’d like it to be i will not stop until it is gone.

19. would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

i mean not forever bc the past doesn’t like gay people but for a brief period of time hells yeah ur talking to a major history nerd i couldn’t resist.

20. where was the last place you snogged someone?

christ never.

21. what are your plans for this weekend?

hanging out with friends and buying a swim suit.

22. do you want to have kids? how many?

no not at all sorry dad but there are no kids in the future for me.

23. do you have piercings? how many?

just my ears.

24. what is/are/were your best subject(s)?

really all of them but my favorites are math and science.

25. do you miss anyone from your past?

no i think i’ve moved on.

26. what are you craving right now?

chick fil a.

27. have you ever broken someone’s heart?

a few times maybe, but one of them i don’t feel bad about bc he was stalking me.

28. have you ever been cheated on?

yeah in elementary school lmao.

29. have you ever made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

idk probably i’m a shitting gf i think i don’t know not a lot of experience.

30. what’s irritating you right now?

my sister had her friend over and they were up until 5:30 in the morning shouting and they kept me up all fucking night and i would have slept in except my dad woke me up to check if i was still alive.

31. does somebody love you?

i mean yeah like my friends and my family. def hate myself though.

32. what is your favorite color?

ok legit i do not know this is a serious problem for me i like a lot of colors like blue and green and yellow i can’t decide on a favorite.

33. do you have trust issues?

yes and no. i feel like a lot of people have ulterior motives bc i’ve been around a lot of people like that but i’m also willing to open up if i know it’ll help someone.

34. who/what was your last dream about?

i dreamed that my grandmother was best friends with the chinese president.

35. who was the last person you cried in front of?

idk i cry every fucking day i think i got in a fight with my dad and started crying bc i’m a crybaby.

36. do you have out second chances too easily?

yeah i think so. i mean i’m still suspicious of the person but i allow them to try and make it up.

37. is it easier to forgive or forget?

forget, i’m bad at forgiving so i try to just block it out.

38. is this year the best year of your life?

yeah i think so. i’ve picked up a lot of the things i used to love, and i’m a lot happier than i used to be.

39. how old were you when you had your first kiss?

i think i was it third grade and this kid we called vampire kid ( he bit people ) dragged me underneath a bush by my leg and forced me to kiss him.

40. have you ever walked outside completely naked?

dude no wth.

51. favorite food?

pasta, chicken, potatoes, sushi. don’t make me choose.

52. do you believe everything happens for a reason?

nahhh i don’t think so. i believe in science and science is random and meaningless but also patterns and meticulous. i think that everything is explainable but that doesn’t mean everything has a purpose.

53. what is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

watched blackfish for the 75th time.

54. is cheating ever okay?

nah b down with cheaters.

55. are you mean?

i don’t think i’m mean, i’m somewhat brash and i like to tease but i’ve never intentionally tried to belittle someone or cause someone pain. plus i’d never have the courage to be mean to someone, i’m too scared of everything ever.

56. how many people have you fist fought?

none i’m small. i have wrestled with my cousin skye though but i always lose.

57. do you believe in true love?

nope i think you can love someone with all your heart and still it might not work out. love is someone you have to work for.

58. favorite weather?

sunny and 65.

59. do you like the snow?

yeah bc it means i get a snow day.

60. do you wanna get married?

idk man like i don’t see a reason for it because i don’t think you need a piece of paper to validate your relationship but i do think that if you wanna get married that’s totally chill.

61. is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

platonically yeah, i love it.

62. what makes you happy?

idk my friends, painting without reason, books, nature, the beach. a lot of simple things make me happy.

63. would you change your name?

no i don’t like my name but it’s still MY name, and i don’t think any other name would fit me.

64. would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

we’re talking abt vamp boy so yeah, hella hard.

65. your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

politely turn them down bc i’m gay. however this scenario wouldn’t ever happen bc my best friend of the opposite sex is also gay.

66. do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act like your complete self around?

yeah several. i think i’m very much myself nowadays, i’m not as afraid to be myself as i used to be.

67. who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

my dad?

68. who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

probably my grandmother talking we like to yell abt how much we hate trump.

69. do you believe in soulmates?

no i think you can have deep connections with multiple people.

70. is there anyone you would die for?

honestly i’m really scared of dying, but there are still a few people i would. especially my little sister, because i’m always worried about her.

i tag @3cbx @tencafe @softheartae @overdevv @shinee-prism @namjoone @dreamscript @jeon-gguk @amartae

#tag #mine #mutuals

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hamilficsfordays · 8 years ago

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It’s a Risk (Pippa/Reader) Part Two

Prompt: @hamwriters Write-A-Thon Day 2! Femslash day! Our girls need more love, so let’s write for them! Platonic or not, day two is the day to show appreciation for our ladies.

Prompt: aLRIGHT fluff pippa x reader please??

Prompt: hey so if you’re already doing a pippa x reader fic, smut is cool,,P

Author’s Note: Part two of two! I meant to finish this ages ago and femslash day seemed like a great opportunity to do so!

Pairing: Phillipa Soo/Reader

Summary: It’s prom night and you’re planning to go with the girl of your dreams. Unfortunately, in the backwards small town you live in, it’s a risk.

Rating: M for low-key smut and swearing!

Warnings: Cursing, bigotry, gay slurs, discrimination, low-key smut

Words: 2390

Askbox / Masterlist / What I Write / Part One / This Week’s Works

It was the day of prom, a Saturday. You’d been up since early that morning, prepping for the night’s events.

It was finally time to put your dress on. It was a stunning design, red and form-fitting.

You recalled the day a few months ago when Pippa had convinced you to buy it.

Staring at yourself in the mirror, you had to admit you loved the dress. It was perfect, sure, but perfect dresses weren’t made for people with your body type.

“Maybe I should try another one.” you insisted.

“What?” Pippa was in the dressing room with you, admiring how incredible you looked.

“Are you kidding? You look amazing! You have to buy that dress.”

“I don’t know… I just don’t think it fits right.”

“Y/N… it fits perfectly. I know you like it, I can see it in your eyes every time you look in the mirror.”

You glanced at yourself in the mirror again. This time you couldn’t help but smile.

“I can already see it now. You and I walking into prom… you wearing this fabulous dress… it’s going to be amazing.”

When you had pulled it on and zipped it up on the side, you admired yourself in the mirror again.

Fuck it. I look amazing you thought.

You made a promise to not let your self-doubt get in the way of a good time, regardless of what happened. You were going to prom with the cutest girl in school, and that was all that mattered.

Your mother had arranged to have your hair and makeup professionally done for the occasion. She thought it would make up for the fact that no boy had asked you to prom.

You parents weren’t exactly upset with you for being gay—they didn’t kick you out or disown you—but they sometimes liked to pretend that it wasn’t true. You usually put up with it, as discussing a fake boyfriend at Thanksgiving dinner to please your relatives was better than being homeless.

When you descended down the staircase, your mother had already started getting emotional and pulling out the camera. You rolled your eyes but forced a smile as you took pictures with each of your parents.

There was a knock on the door shortly thereafter, and you father opened it to see Pippa standing there, her car in the driveway.

She was stunning in a light blue dress, her hair in a fancy up-do and her make-up flawless as usual.

You gasped when you saw her.

“Oh Pippa, you look beautiful.” your mom teared up again. “Let me get a photo of you two together.”

Pippa stood beside you, smiling as you posed for a photo.

“Two lifelong best friends!” your mother insisted, taking another photo.

“Just gals being pals,” Pippa noted. You gave her a knowing look.

“So Pippa, you didn’t get asked to the prom either?” your dad asked.

“Oh no, I think all of the boys at our school are too intimidated by me.” she joked. “Anyway, we should get going.”

“Drive safe!” your mother called from the house as you headed out to Pippa’s car in the driveway. “If you get drunk, call me! I’ll take you home!”

“That was painful.” you finally admitted as you were pulling out of the driveway. “I can’t believe they actually thought that we were going as friends.”

“At least they were nice enough to ignore it.” she reminded you as she headed down the road. When you were far enough away that your parents couldn’t see you, she pulled over.

“Is something wrong?”

“I bought you a corsage.”

You were pleasantly surprised as you watched her pull a corsage out, still in its container, from the backseat. You let her put it on you, carefully tying it around your wrist.

“It matches my dress.”

“Of course.” she smiled. “Just because we’re gay doesn’t mean that we’re not significantly more attractive and fashionable than any other hick at that school.”

“We so are.” you agreed.

She took your hand in hers then, moving back to the road.

You were holding hands the entire drive there. You had to stop yourself from blushing so hard.

When you arrived at the school, you could feel confidence practically pouring out of you. Pippa seemed to be feeling the same way, eager to walk inside with you.

You entered through the front, presenting your tickets to the teacher sitting at the table. She gave you a strange look as if something was off about you, but let you proceed back to the gymnasium where prom was being held anyway.

The look from the teacher caused you to falter for a moment, but only one as Pippa locked elbows with you before stepping into the large room.

The usual state of the gym was gone, now covered in decorations, balloons, confetti, and a disco ball at the center. There were tables on the far end of the room where some students were eating dinner and a dance floor at the center where a makeshift stage was set up. There was a band on it playing a slow song.

Pippa bowed, offering her hand to you.

“May I have this dance?” she asked, causing you to blush yet again,

“The pleasure is all mine.” You took her hand, headed to the dance floor.

With her hand on your waist and yours on her shoulder, you slowly began to dance to the song.

For a few moments, it was bliss. Slow dancing with Pippa at prom was something you’d been dreaming of since freshman year.

After a short time, however, the staring began. There was a collection of dirty looks pointed your way by other students. The whispering followed, forcing you to feel uncomfortable.

You met eyes with your date, who seemed completely unphased by the looks and the whispers. You tried to focus on her, but it was hard to ignore.

Eventually, a female chaperone approached you.

“I’m sorry, but you two need to leave.” she started.

“Why?” Pippa stood up to her. “We’re not doing anything wrong.”

“Well, I think you just might be. We don’t allow that kind of sickly behavior at school events.”

“What exactly are you referring to?” you stood up to the teacher this time, surprising even yourself at the sudden rush of adrenaline.

“Two women together is just unnatural.”

As Pippa started to protest again, a few other chaperones approached and asked you to leave as well. At this point, several other students had caught on, encouraging you to leave.

“Who let the queers in?” one of them shouted.

“No dykes allowed!” someone else said.

You could feel tears welling up in your eyes as you stood behind Pippa instinctively.

“That’s fine, we don’t need to be here with a bunch of bigots.” she insisted. “Come on, Y/N, let’s go.” she grabbed your hand and headed toward the door.

You kept your head down as you headed out, an avalanche of slurs following you both to the door.

When you finally made it out of the building and into Pippa’s car, you could feel the rage building up inside you.

“Fuck them,” you whispered, breaking the silence. Saying it felt good. You wanted to say it again.

“Fuck them!” you said louder this time. “How dare they kick us out like that. Who do they think they are? We had just as much of a right to be there together as anyone else!”

Your anger was turning into tears as you continued.

“That was humiliating. They don’t even know what they’re talking about. FUCK THEM!”

You did your best to fight your tears, not an easy feat.

“Are you crying, Y/N?” she finally asked.

“No!” you insisted, glaring out the window at the school. Finally, the tears fell and a sob erupted from your chest. “Yes.”

Pippa took your hand again, squeezing it supportively.

“I just… I’ve been dreaming of slow dancing with you at prom since freshman year.” you managed between sobs. “Now it’s all ruined because we live in this southern hellhole of a town.”

There was a brief silence as you started to compose yourself. Pippa never stopped squeezing your hand.

“Are you hungry?” she finally said.

“What?”

“I asked if you were hungry.” she tried again.

“We are not going back in there.”

“I didn’t say that.” she started the car, pulling out of the parking space. “We’re not going back there, but this night isn’t over.”

Thirty minutes had come and gone, and you found yourself in a McDonald’s parking lot eating in the car alongside your date.

“You know, people knock on fast food,” you took a bite of the burger in your hand. “But I think it tastes best at 11 pm after you’ve been kicked out of prom with the cutest girl in school.”

“I completely agree.” she nodded, pulling a french fry from the bag sitting between the two of you.

When you’d finished eating, a glance in the overhead mirror made you realize for the first time that your cheeks were mascara stained from crying earlier.

“Oh my god,” you tried wiping it away with your bare hands to no avail. “I look horrible.”

Pippa reached in front of you into her glove compartment, pulling out a container of wet wipes and offering you one. You started clearing your makeup off.

“I guess if we’re not at prom it doesn’t make a difference.” you concluded.

“Speaking of,” she offered you another one which you politely declined. “Are you up for another try at that slow dance?”

“What do you mean?” you finished wiping off your makeup and Pippa started the car again, backing out of the parking space.

You recognized the familiar path to her house. When she parked in the driveway, you hesitated in the car for a moment.

“Come on in,” she insisted, getting out. “My parents are out of town.”

“Your parents went out of town on prom night? It’s like they’re telling you to have sex.”

You followed her up to the front door which she promptly unlocked and stepped into a dark living room

“I would never do anything you wouldn’t consent to.” she turned to face you. “There is one thing you did consent to, though.”

“What’s that?”

Pippa turned on the light, revealing her living room covered in streamers, decorations and even a makeshift disco ball hanging from the ceiling. It was your own personal prom.

“A slow dance.” she reminded you.

There was a dock with an iPod plugged in that she pressed play on, a slow song starting.

“You did all this?” You asked, taken aback. “How did you know—”

“I had a suspicion that prom might be a bust and I didn’t want to lose out on my chance with you,” she confessed.

You smiled, blushing for what felt like the hundredth time that night

She bowed, offering her hand to you. “It would be an honor to dance with the most beautiful girl in school.”

“The honor is all mine.” you insisted, taking her hand.

You slow danced in her living room, your head rested on her shoulder.

You kept at it through a few songs, as you couldn’t bring yourself to let go of her.

You finally pulled your head up, meeting eyes with your best friend before you slowly leaned in to kiss her for the first time.

Her lips tasted like vanilla, a surprising fact considering you’d both just eaten fast food. It was her lipgloss you figured, which made it hard not to go back for more.

“Let’s go up to your room.” you finally said once she’d pulled back. She agreed without another word and headed up with you.

You’d seen her room many times before in the past. Sleepovers, study sessions and countless other times came to mind. This time, however, was far different as you fell back onto her bed, watching her slowly unzip her dress before climbing on top of you.

You kissed again, passionate, hungry for her.

“Why don’t we get you out of that dress?” she suggested, reaching for the zipper along the side of your gown. It was strapless, so you managed to maneuver out of it without sitting up.

With both of your undergarments tossed aside, she pulled your hips to the edge of the bed and slowly put her face between your legs.

The feeling of her tongue was overwhelming, causing you to squirm almost immediately.

“Shit, did I do something wrong?” she asked, pulling back. “Did it hurt?”

“What?” you sat up. “No, it was fine. It was good.”

“Are you sure?” she asked again.

“I trust you.” you assured her, falling back onto the bed and letting her continue.

It took a while for her to get the hang of things, but once she managed to find a spot you particularly enjoyed, she kept at it.

You grabbed onto her bed sheets as you climaxed a few minutes, moaning her name as she sent you over the edge.

She stood up, carefully wiping her mouth as she leaned in to kiss you again.

“I don’t know if I’m going to be as good as you.” you insisted. “I’ve never really done this kind of thing before.”

“Don’t worry about it.” she crawled into bed beside you. “Pleasuring you like that was more than enough to satisfy me. It was invigorating.”

“But you—” you tried to protest, but she only stopped you with another kiss.

“Can I just have this moment beside you?” she asked. “I just want to exist right now, lying beside the girl of my dreams.”

You decided not to argue, instead cuddling up to her.

The discrimination you’d faced only a few hours beforehand was far from your mind.

In that moment, it felt like you and Pippa were unstoppable together.

With high school ending and the real world fast approaching, it was a good feeling to have.

#hamilton fanfic #hamilton fanfiction #hamilcast imagines #hamilton imagines #hamilton au #hamilcast au #imagines blog #pippa x reader #pippa soo x reader #phillipa soo x reader #hamwriters #write a thon

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juniperhillpatient · 8 years ago

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Thoughts on The Last Picture Show

*I’m glad we’ve established Geraldine/Jennifer as a villain and antagonist. Thank YOU for real

*Jennifer’s story to Archie about being abused was one thousand percent a pile of lies. She’s shady as hell

*I hate Alice more every time she appears on screen for more than two seconds like no wonder Polly had a mental breakdown, I would have too with a mom like that

*Anyway, where is Polly really? What’s the deal? Why isn’t Betty allowed to see her?

*I guess we know why Betty has this whole “she thinks she’s Polly sometimes” thing going on. Her mom is psychotic and is giving her an identity crisis

*Betty and Veronica are queens and I love seeing them work together to look out for Archie. Betty using the stuff she learned in Nancy Drew to be a rebel detective is just the perfect mix of adorable and badass

*Um when are we going to get more of a focus on Jughead? He’s living in a theater and his dad is in a gang? I know Cole Sprouse is Daddy but keep in mind that in the context of the show he’s a sophomore in high school. Why aren’t more people in Riverdale such as adults including teachers concerned about/aware of this situation?

*I haven’t been too happy with Kevin’s characterization so far but this episode was much better than any others so far imho

*Joaquin is interesting although I almost never end up liking ships that get together right away because I like a build up. The whole secretive, he’s in a gang and Kevin’s dad is the sheriff thing is pretty hot though tbh. Plus like...a love triangle with Kevin/Joaquin and Kevin/Moose??? (If Moose ever comes back? lol) That would be amazing. I love love triangles so much idc how cliche they are, fight me. Also we pretty much never get same-sex love triangles so that would be cool to see

*I loved Kevin’s scene with his dad. More supportive parents for gay kids on TV (and in life duh)

*Veronica and Kevin’s friendship is so cute. Platonic cuddling at the drive in? Sign me up.

*Cheryl can step on me and I love her, she’s a bad bitch, but also...Sometimes I kind of hate her. A lot

*Kevin’s face when Veronica sat down at the drive in with them had me weak af

*Sometimes I just think wow, Fred is a great dad, and other times I’m...not so sure. Yes, he told Archie none of this was his fault but he also didn’t stand up for Archie as much as he could have when they were all arguing and yelling in the music room. I’m not sure what he could’ve done though so maybe I’m being too critical

*Again, the Fred and Archie hug scene was so touching. Why aren’t we talking about this more?

*Archie breaking down broke my heart. That scene hit close to home as I’ve been in a situation that was sort of similar to his in the past. Without going into detail on that, let’s just say I think KJ Appa is phenomenal and he really nails the delivery on all the emotions Archie is going through. It was just a great scene like all of his scenes are.

*Betty is the best friend in the world and Archie is so lucky to have her.

*Honestly Archie and Betty are just lucky to have each other and I’m so proud of both of them for standing up for their friendship

*I love every scene at Pops. To be honest I’d probably be happy with an entire show set at Pops.

*Veronica saying "girl" is the cutest thing. I don't even know why it just melts me.

*I like that we're seeing this sort of rich bitch side of Hermione. The family is one thousand percent like that in the comics and I'm fine with seeing a nicer side of Veronica on the show (in fact I love this version of her!) but I like the sort of callback if you will to who these characters originated as and what part of them is still sort of like. Maybe that makes no sense

*Can we not have Fred and Hermione date. IDK it just really bothers me

*Again, my main takeaway from Alice is that she can choke

*I'm intrigued by the mayor being corrupt, but at the same time isn't that a little cliche? A small town mayor is corrupt? Really? Plus it makes me sad because it takes away the value of that scene where Josie was talking about how hard her mom worked to get to that point

*The whole Southside Whatever gang thing is a little bit corny, am I right?

*Veronica yelling at a gang and people clapping is my new aesthetic though

*Overall this was my favorite episode so far. This show has been really good and I've been loving it, but this episode just really did such a great job characterizing everyone, and it was also a really interesting plot. The scenes in the movie theater and in Pops when they were just being friends were my favorites.

#riverdale #archie andrews #betty cooper #veronica lodge #kevin keller #jughead jones #the last picture show #review #my thoughts #my post #rose watches riverdale late

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postculturemag-blog · 7 years ago

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What’s Better Than This? Guys Being Dudes

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The End of the Movie

Despite being a child of the 90s I consider myself a super fan when it comes to 80s movies. Every month my local Alamo Drafthouse movie theater holds viewings for older movies and I always try to make at least once a month. Last month it was Nick Castle’s The Last Starfighter.

The first 80s movie I remember falling in love with was the Spielberg classic Stand by Me. Stand by Me was a coming-of-age story about a group of friends who go in search of a rumored dead body. Along the way they meet a host of characters and challenges that send them on individual journeys of self-discovery.

Even back then I couldn’t help but draw comparisons to another childhood-best-friends coming-of-age movie I’d seen: Now and Then. Now and Then was billed to me as Stand by Me, but for Girls. Instead of a group of boy friends going on an epic journal of self-discovery to find a dead body, the audience was treated to snapshots of summer spent with a group of girls who just wanted to buy a treehouse together and maybe put a disturbed spirit or two to rest, too.

Both films share themes that are integral to all coming-of-age films, most importantly growth and independence. At the end of Now and Then once the girls have secured enough money to buy their treehouse Samantha comments that “The tree house was supposed to bring us more independence. But what the summer actually brought was independence from each other.” The idea is sweet and profound, made even more so by the opening reunion between the friends, now all grown-up, and the promise they make to each other at the end to visit together more often.

The end of Stand by Me is noticeably different. After our brave heroes overcome trials and the perils of pubertal self-discovery and find the dead body, the adventure, and summer, are over. A flashforward narrated by Gordie tells us that the boys drifted apart with age. Teddy and Vern became passing figures in Gordie’s life. He remained close with Chris through college until he went off to university—then died breaking up a fight at a restaurant. This prompts Gordie to write the famously heartstring-pulling line: “I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve.”

I remember casually asking my dad at the end of Now and Then why the boys didn’t stay together like the girls. His response? “They’re boys.” Like that explained everything. At the time, it actually kind of did. There was a reason the men in the movies I saw didn’t hug or talk about their feelings like the women did. In fact, attempts at intimacy or emotional connection between male characters were either played for laughs or shown as a cautionary tale.

“They’re boys” was the simple answer to a complex problem, but like most moviegoers, I was content to leave it at that.

But now that I’m older I have to ask why? Why are boys expected to sever ties with the people they care about when they grow older? What kind of Wormer Brothers-level havoc does puberty wreak on boys that it seemingly spares girls?

The answer is a lot less mystical than dead bodies or resurrected spirit.

Dude, Where’s My Emotional Intimacy?

Gordie’s line about never having friends like the ones he had when he was twelve isn’t isolated fiction. Boys tend to form closer bonds with other boys in childhood and almost seem to “lose” the ability to later. Sociologist Lisa Wade theorizes that around the ages of fifteen and sixteen teenage boys start learning what it means to “be a real man,” and the feminine-coded traits of friendship do not fall into that ideal.

In her book Deep Secrets: Boys’ Friendships and the Crisis of Connection psychologist Niobe Way followed boys of varying ages over four years to chronicle their views on friendship. Wade highlights a particularly devastating part of her research in which a 15-year-old boy named Justin was asked to describe his feelings towards his best friend at two different parts of his life:

[My best friend and I] love each other… that’s it… you have this thing that is deep, so deep, it’s within you, you can’t explain it. It’s just a thing that you know that person is that person… I guess in life, sometimes two people can really, really understand each other and really have a trust, respect and love for each other.

By his senior year, however, this is what he had to say about friendship:

[My friend and I] we mostly joke around. It’s not like really anything serious or whatever… I don’t talk to nobody about serious stuff… I don’t talk to nobody. I don’t share my feelings really. Not that kind of person or whatever… It’s just something that I don’t do.

Niobe’s interviews with boys are both eye-opening and heartbreaking. At one point she interviewed a freshman named Jason who touted the merits of friendship as having someone to turn to. Three years later she asked Jason if he had any close friends and he “said no and immediately [added] that while he nothing against gay people, he himself [was] not gay.”

Despite popular belief, men actually desire (and need) emotional intimacy just as much as women do. In fact, not having those emotional connections contribute greatly to men’s health problems.

So if men want it, and the lack of it might actually kill them, why can’t they have it?

Heterosexual men are taught that the romantic and sexual relationships they have with women are the only acceptable source of intimacy and closeness they’re allowed to have. That’s often why straight men feel the need to caveat any positive, slightly friendly interaction with another male with “No homo.” Popular belief is that if a guy is showing affection to a person he must want to date or have sex with that person. Hence the word bromance. Know what the female equivalent of a bromance is? A friendship.

Friendship between men is such a delicate walk between ‘just-guys-being-dudes’ and ‘full-on-homo’ that its become almost regulated. Telegraph’s Chris Moss posted a handy guide titled “A fine bromance: the 12 rules of male friendship” that featured such ‘rules’ as this:

Never openly verbalise that you value the friendship. Most men avoid literalness. There’s something vulgar about declaring “how important you are to me”. But there is also a kind of mysticism in never quite affirming that this might just be the second, or even the, central love in your life. Sometimes stating the obvious makes the obvious deteriorate or vanish. So respect the given; you can always weep openly at a friend’s funeral.

Even with the wink-wink-nudge-nudge aspect, it is still depressing to think that men have to edit their feelings in an effort to not make the people they care about uncomfortable. The other day on Twitter a virtual (female) stranger told me she loved me. In line at the checkout at Walgreens, I overheard a man say to his (male) companion “That’s a nice shirt, man. No homo.”

The restrictive range of what’s considered “acceptable” emotions men are allowed to feel are just some of the ways the patriarchy takes a toll on men, and it has real-life harmful effects. Misogyny and homophobia are core driving factors to this epidemic, and what’s worse is that it’s become normalized. One way society is both chronicles and reinforces these unwritten rules of masculinity? Movies.

It’s important to remember that things haven’t always been this way for men. Silver screen blockbusters show us that at some point in time a fella could hug another fella after a shootout without anyone feeling the need to qualify it with a “No homo.”

So where did it all begin to turn?

Blow Your Wig

Because platonic intimacy between men wasn’t vilified in early years, depictions of strong bonds between men were actively depicted in cinema. In fact, the first same-sex kiss on screen in the 1927 silent film Wings was an entirely platonic kiss between two male infantrymen (Buddy Rogers and Richard Arlen).

Audiences didn’t so much as bat an eye at the kiss. It went on to become a critical success and won the first ever Academy Award for Best Picture.

Another early 20th-century film that highlighted male friendships was the bad boy classic Rebel Without a Cause (1955). Let’s be honest here for a second, folks: James Dean wasn’t that great of an actor, he was just handsome (don’t @ me). That mug put butts in the seats for his performance as Jim Stark, the film’s troubled teenage protagonist just trying to make it. Aside from James Dean’s bad boy good looks the most memorable aspect of the film is Jim’s friendship with even more troubled outcast Plato (Sal Mineo). Jim’s feelings toward Plato take on a paternal tone, helping them both make up for something they lack. For Plato, it’s a stable, loving family. For Jim, it’s a sense of what it means to be a real man. Unusual as their dynamic was people were touched by love and care they shared. That’s further complicated when you look a little harder, but that’s a conversation for another time.

What’s Your Damage?

The 1980s and 1990s gave rise to the timeless buddies trope. Buddy comedies were defined by their “odd couple” approach to hyper-masculine films. Movies like 1988’s Midnight Run took the tried and true formula and flips it on its head, but still stays true to the hyper-masculine-odd-couple trope.

The most popular of this genre is the buddy cop film. The Lethal Weapon franchise (1987) is often credited with starting the movement in films, and sure enough, helped define other films in the genre. You take one by-the-book veteran cop, mix in a younger, more hair-trigger partner, throw in a few explosions and shootouts for maximum masculinity, and bam, you’ve got yourself a buddy cop film.

Because the men themselves were in a profession defined by its hard-shelled masculine nature the characters were allowed—in small doses—a degree of intimacy between one another. You wouldn’t catch Martin cathartically kissing Robert Thelma & Louise-style after one of their many near-death experiences, but the average heterosexual man wouldn’t feel too weirded out over an affectionate clap on the back or mildly fond poses in marketing materials.

The late 80s and early 90s also gave birth to a peculiar kind of cinematic take on male friendships I like to call Feelings Are Gay and Bad.

Unlike the buddy movies of the same decade, these films wielded homoeroticism like an Aesop’s Fable in 35mm. Rather than depict male friendships as the begrudged act of two hardened, red-blooded American males, these films opted to show brutal, all-consuming homoerotic unholy unions that eventually came to screeching—and often deadly—halt. A character who placed his love and care with another man would come to rue it by the film’s end or would learn a valuable lesson about vulnerability.

In Reservoir Dogs the audience watches as Mr. White lovingly cradles a wounded and terrified Mr. Orange in his arms. In between horrifying, blood-soaked scenes in the present we’re privy to Mr. Orange’s secret: he’s an undercover cop working to bust White’s crime ring from the inside. Blissfully ignorant, White soothes and protects him. He even goes so far as to pull a gun on the man in charge for threatening to kill him. After the infamous Mexican stand-off, White crawls over to Orange’s body as the police close in, only to be told Orange is actually a cop. The movie closes in on White’s anguish as the police surround them.

Kathryn Bigelow’s Point Break (1991) introduced the world to Special Agent Johnny Utah (birth name Heterosexual McManlyman), former football star and current by-the-book FBI agent who goes undercover in a group of adrenaline junkie surfers and becomes dude-smitten with their charismatic leader, Bodhi. The explosions, killer surfing scenes, and the fact that Special Agent Johnny Utahis a former Rose-bowl winner and current gun-wielding badass makes it okay for male audience members to laugh at lines like “We gonna jump or jerk off?”

Nick Schager of The Daily Beast referred to Point Break as “A Homoerotic Classic.” Whether Point Break is a cautionary tale about getting too close or an intentionally subversive homoerotic film a female director remains a hotly contested.

The film adaption of Anne Rice’s Interview with the Vampire (1994) and David Fincher’s take on the Chuck Palahniuk classic Fight Club (1996) both use their source materials’ explicit homoeroticism to make the story darker and grittier. In Fight Club’s case, this was used in conjunction with what many feminists consider a critique of hypermasculinity, made with the intent to draw straight men to watch and leave rattled. For Interview with the Vampire, while Anne Rice’s intent was clear, some parts had to be altered considerably for consumption.

During this decade films of this kind also started to utilize the Deranged Homosexual trope. Poor, unfortunate heterosexual men would offer their friendship and find themselves in the grips another, obsessed and subtextually sexual man. The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999), another novel-to-film adaptation, takes the time to build up the dynamic between Tom and Dickie from budding friendship to growing obsession until Dickie’s ultimate death at Tom’s hands.

The 80s and 90s weren’t the purgatories of male friendships, though. For every Cable Guy(1996) there was a Sandlot (1993) after all. Still, the trend in media portrayals of male intimacy in films during this era set a particular tone that went virtually unchallenged until the following decade.

Isn’t It Bromantic?

The 2000s were the start of the “exclusively comedy” buddy films. In contrast with buddy films of the 80s that were action films that sometimes featured comedy, the male friendship movies of the 2000s were comedies that sometimes featured action.

The 2000s also saw a rise in the use of the term bromance or bromantic comedy to describe close male friendships. Even the word bromance evokes a mocking callback to romance, self-deprecatingly lampshading the connotations of two men being emotionally intimate. ‘Bromance’ takes the idea that men are emotionally illiterate and incapable of showing care without sexual or romantic inclinations and applies it homosocial relationships. In other words, the word ‘bromance’ pretty much plays itself. So started the attempt to strike a balance between “Fuck yeah, friendship!” and dudebro-ish mocking.

And mock they did. It was as if the homosocially-propelled films of this decade were constantly at war with their desire to show the close bonds men can foster with each other, and their need to assure the men watching it that yes, they know how “gay” the idea sounds.

I call this the “No Homo!™” movement.

When The 40-Year-Old Virgin premiered in 2005 it marketed itself as a raunchy, stupid, over-the-top sex comedy for men. Steve Carell plays Andy Stitzer, the eponymous forty-year-old virgin. After it’s revealed to his friends that he’s never had sex he’s put on a quest to lose his virginity as quickly as possible. This devolves into a series of cheap laughs, dubious sexual situations and, of course, rampant transphobia and homophobia.

The movie focuses on Andy’s quest (spoiler alert: the real loss of virginity was the self-discovery he had along the way!) but the B-plot belongs to two of his friends/bullies: Seth Rogen’s Cal and Paul Rudd’s David. The two spend most of the money bickering and insulting each other by making jabs at who’s “gayest” (“You wanna know how I know you’re gay? You like Coldplay.”) The jokes are cheap and unfunny but are sure-fire ways to get a chuckle out of your standard insecure bro-type.

At the end of the film after Jay apologizes to Andy for pressuring him into losing his virginity the two hug and embrace. In a call back to Cal and David’s game Haziz, their manage, comments snidely:

Haziz: Do you know how I know you guys are gay? You’re holding each other ever so gently.

This allows the film to reassure the audience that despite the lovey-dovey shit that’s just happened this is still a dude film.

Some praised The 40-Year-Old Virgin for “deconstructing the bromance formula,” but when compared to other films in its decade we can see its done nothing of the sort.

After the commercial success of The 40-Year-Old Virgin, we were treated to another Apatow-Rogen bromance film with Superbad (2007). Superbad brought Jonah Hill and Michael Cera together as Seth and Evan (named after writers Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg), two high school seniors desperate to lose their virginity before college. Despite the classic pitfalls—Seth Rogen himself later said jokes in the movie were “blatantly homophobic”—the movie handled the friendship between Seth and Evan with surprising care. During a quiet scene, Seth (drunkenly) confronts Evan about rooming with their mutual friend in college. Evan apologizes and admits he’s afraid to live alone. The two make up and say they love each other, then wonder aloud why they’ve never said they loved each other before.

Evan: I love you. It’s like, why can’t we say that every day? Why can’t we say it more often?

Seth: I just love you. I just wanna go on the rooftops and scream “I love my best friend Evan.”

Sure, they’re drunk and it’s comedic, but the comedy is more about their drunkenness than their love for each other.

At the end of the film the two friends meet up with their respective love interests at a mall and go their separate ways. This reminded me of the end of Stand by Me (and that is the first and last time you’ll hear me compare Stephen King and Rob Reiner to Seth Rogen and Greg Mottola): boys with a fierce bond drifting apart as evidence of their maturity and growth. As if the moment they spent telling each other they loved one another the night before was meaningless.

Seth Rogen, you sonofabitch.

Riding off the rise of Seth Rogen’s bromance comedies came I Love You, Man (2009) which tried to brand itself as the “bromance” movie. The movie set out to answer one question: Why don’t men have friends? The answer was a resounding “Uhhh?”

Peter Klaven (Paul Rudd) goes in search of a best guy friend after realizing he has no one to be his best man at his upcoming wedding. After going on a misfortune of “friend dates” he runs into and befriends smooth con man Sydney Fife (Jason Segal). I Love You, Man starts off as Feelings Are Gay and Bad and ends up a lukewarm reunion that skirts clumsily around the subject of real emotion like Jason Segal on a moped.

The only reason I rip on I Love You, Man is because it truly could have been groundbreaking. At the time it was considered groundbreaking because for once the premise of the movie was about male friendship. Not friendship plus virginity and booze, just friendship. It went even further to prove its progressive cred by introducing Paul’s But-Not-Too-Gay brother Robbie (Andy Samberg) as a shining example of sports-and-meat-loving masculinity. Still, despite its failure to truly commit, I Love You, Man managed to make a bromance film that didn’t rely heavily on sex and slapstick to validate itself as a “guy’s” movie.

Other notable bromance films of this decade like Dude, Where’s My Car? (2000), Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle (2004), and The Hangover (2009) also used similar tactics of highlighting friendship and neutralizing the discomfort of seeing intimate male friendships via homophobic language, slapstick comedy, objectification, and more. The self-deprecating overcompensation that defined the movies of his decade was a reflection and reinforcer of America’s evolving feelings towards male intimacy. It was no longer “Don’t be intimate with your male friends” but “Don’t be too intimate with your male friends.”

Men Have Feelings, Too (And That’s Okay)

Things began to subtly shift for bromance movies in the 2010s. Slapstick and Seth Rogen still reign supreme, but now there was a softer and more forgiving edge to it all. Conversations on hypermasculinity and homophobia were propelled into the mainstream to start a national dialogue. The idea of what it means to be a man and what masculinity really means started to change as did their portrayals in film.

“Your average dudebro” is the very demographic that needs to see these kinds of relationships normalized in the first place.

You could argue that Seth Rogen is the kind of bro comedies. He’s produced such nerdboy-testosterone, weed-filled slapsticks as Pineapple Express, Superbad, This is the End, and Game Over, Man! Whether as an actor, director, producer, or writer, Seth Rogen’s name has become synonymous with the kind of obnoxious bro-rock marketing execs don’t even consider women a demographic for.

But I would argue that much of the normalization of intimate male friendships comes from your average Seth Rogen film. Most of the time these are “dumb fun” comedies. That’s not to say other films by other people don’t portray male friendships just as well, but while movies like Magic Mike XXL (2015) are heartwarming examples of the kind of power platonic male intimacy can have they’re not as likely to be watched by your average dudebro. “Your average dudebro” is the very demographic that needs to see these kinds of relationships normalized in the first place.

The 2011 comedy-drama 50/50 cast Seth Rogen as Kyle Hirons, a man watching his best friend Adam (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) undergo chemotherapy. Even though he doesn’t possess the necessary bedside manner he plants himself as Adam’s rock (and wingman) through his treatment. When Adam’s girlfriend cheats on him he angrily confronts her to defend his honor.

The film is at times tone-deaf and crude as any movie starring Seth Rogen and directed by Jonathan Levine is wont to be, but the message at its core is sweet and powerful.

In the controversial Netflix film The Interview (2014), Seth Rogen balances crude humor and James Franco-ness with an almost careful tenderness between the two male leads. During the penultimate scene where Dave and Aaron are preparing to walk to their deaths in order to save North Korea, the two share a quiet, intimate moment together discussing Dave’s hypothetical biography.

Dave: As the two best friends stared into each other in the eyes, they knew that this might be the end of a long road. But they also knew how much they meant to each other. And even though neither one could say it out loud, they were both thinking…

Aaron and Dave: [whispers] I love you.

What shocked me about this scene wasn’t just that two men had said they loved each other in an action-comedy, it was that the scene was played straight. No jokes, no thrown in “No homo!” It didn’t make up for the rest of the film, but it furthered my appreciation for Seth Rogen.

Another unexpected gem in the same vein are the 21 Jump Street movies, specifically its sequel 22 Jump Street. In 22 Jump Street we’re re-introduced to Jenko and Schmidt, who are assigned to go undercover at a college to find out what student has been dealing the drug WHY-PHY. Jenko gets close to a suspect in the investigation–the popular, athletic Rooster–and starts to blow off Schmidt, much to the latter’s dismay.

While Schmidt does spend a not insignificant portion of the film playing a comical version of a scorned lover for audiences to point and laugh it, you can’t knock 22 for trying to tackle a virtually undiscussed issue in male friendships: jealousy. This is pleasantly resolved near the end of the film with Jenko assures Schmidt that he lifts him up—while they’re dangling from a helicopter, but still.

There are plenty of other films from the 2010s that truly flip the script on your standard movie bromance (Due Date [2010], The Green Hornet [2011], and even This is the End [2013] if you’re in the camp of thinking they did rape jokes the right way) but I’d like to wrap up with one that’s dear to me: Seth Rogen’s Neighbors (2014).

On premise alone Neighbors sounds like your run-of-the-mill ignorant bro comedy. Mac and Kelly Radner (Seth Rogen and Rose Byrne) get into a prank war with the Delta Psi Beta fraternity that’s moved next door, headed by Teddy (Zac Efron) and Pete (Dave Franco). The humor is slapstick and borders on gross at times but is absent the casual bigotry that early Rogen/Goldberg films weren’t shy about including. Of note is Pete and Teddy’s relationship. It’s revealed that Pete slept with Teddy’s girlfriend, and even though this causes bad blood between the two Teddy still sacrifices himself when the police show up to spare Pete’s bright future.

Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising (2016), though, by far takes the cake for the best of the two. It opens on the old Delta Psi brothers assisting Pete’s boyfriend Darren in a Jason Mraz-inspired proposal. Having peaked in college, Teddy lives on Pete and his boyfriend’s couch. This comes to an end after the proposal and the two friends having a falling out, prompting Teddy to leave in search of a place to feel wanted. When crashing with the Radners doesn’t work out he moves on to a struggling sorority.

The decision to make Pete bisexual (or gay) was a conscious one suggested by writer Evan Goldberg and reporter asking director Nicholas Stoller why he’s never had gay characters in his films.

At the end of the film, Teddy and Pete make up in time for Teddy to plan and be the best man at his wedding. Before walking Pete down the aisle Teddy stops to give him a pep talk:

Teddy: You all right? You seem really nervous.

Pete: I’m having a little bit of a meltdown.

Teddy: Just remember, man, Darren loves you more than anyone in the entire world- Darren cherishes his friendship with you. Darren can’t imagine his life without you. And Darren is proud to call you his best friend.

Pete: You’re not talking about Darren, are you?

Teddy: No, not really.

The humor stays intact and without the expense of losing intimacy. Teddy is even allowed to tear up with pride and happiness for his best friend in full view of the camera before the scene is over.

And you still get a poop joke.

A movie that utilizes Seth Rogen, Zac Efron, and Dave Franco and a plethora and copy-and-paste frat bros to chastise against using misogynistic slurs (“Don’t call them hoes. That’s not cool anymore.”) and normalize gay love is a feat in and of itself. You could argue that the movie tries a little too hard to seem progressive and open-minded (at one point Teddy helps the sorority throw a Feminist Icon Party that features three different Hillary Clinton costumes) but the effort is genuine and appreciated. The film doesn’t equate masculinity with misogyny and homophobia. It allows their funny frat bros to show vulnerability and care for one another in a way that promotes laughter but doesn’t mock.

The expected bro humor isn’t sacrificed in favor of these progressive elements either. There are women in bikinis, babies holding sex toys, and unnecessary dick and poop comedy. All the elements that define a sleazy bro comedy but without the sleaze.

These movies are important to show that men being vulnerable and caring about one another doesn’t have to be something shameful, or something that comes with rules, or something that should be laughed at. Looking back on the up-and-down progression of these portrayals is at times hilarious, but are mostly sobering and sad. We should promote and support portrayals intimate male friendships in media to normalize the concept of platonic male intimacy.

So, straight men, go. Re-watch Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle or The Shawshank Redemption and consider telling a friend they’re important to you. You might never have friends like the ones you had when you were twelve but it’s never too late to find that kind of bond again.

#toxic masculinity #let boys be soft #patriarchy #no homo

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lorainelaneyblog · 8 years ago

Text

‘I know you’re bored to tears, and almost broke again,’ says God. ‘But Loraine Laney has over three thousand friends on Facebook. This all happened in the last nine days. And even she can’t believe it, despite how much work she has been doing, because she’s never blown up before, and now she’s blowing up, and she’s astonished, and she’s astonished, and she’s astonished, and she’s astonished, yes, she is, yes, she is, yes, she is, yes she is. And this is what we do about money, Loraine, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, and, I realize you feel that you have lost one of your avenues of income because nobody can write to you on Facebook anymore, it gets buried, yes, it does, it gets buried, yes, it does, yes, it does. This is what we’re going to do, Loraine, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, you will write to 50 Cent, as you normally do, and he will do as I say, which, right now, is nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing--‘

‘But we miss each other so much.’

‘That’s what you think, Loraine. Poor Eminem is chewing his cud over here, he’s lost, Loraine, he’s lost, Loraine, he’s lost, Loraine, he’s lost, Loraine. He can’t even understand that I’m following the word of God, he doesn’t understand why I don’t call you, Loraine. And he’s desperate for a nice woman, since he was young, as yourself, he had one, you had two, decent people in your life, besides your client, [ ], Loraine, and he has had a couple of nice one night stands which, because of the parents, went nowhere, Loraine, with good women, who could not stand hurting their parents, Loraine, seriously, you wouldn’t believe--’

‘Yes, she would,’ says God. ‘Loraine Laney has been abandoned by her parents at every turn, so as to know, herself, what a distance is created among people by parents, seriously, seriously, 50 Cent. How else, how else, how else, how else, did you think she had the ability to discern that you, yourself, would have had no luck, either, with women, as she hadn’t had with men, with respect to parents. Even her darling [ ], whom she thinks she could have married, did not have the respect and support of his mother when it came to Loraine. She was convinced, with her cadet background, and her charm, that she was a slut.’

‘She saw you at parades, Loraine, and never, even, deigned to meet you. That night you went to the Portuguese celebration, she wasn’t even there, Loraine, she didn’t feel like going out, and all the men, you don’t even remember, who noticed you, and thought you were sweet and lovely, and chaste even, because of the way that you depended on [ ], and didn’t look at other men, thought the dad, at least, should have met you.’

‘Never?’ asks 50 Cent.

‘No.’

‘Loraine. You are an idiot. The parents have not giving their blessing for an invitation to marriage, if there has been no introduction, I thought that was part of it.’

‘No.’

‘Even her dad knows this,’ says God.

‘She’s speechless,’ says 50 Cent.

‘She’s an idiot,’ says Eminem.’

‘She’s a fool,’ says Spencer. ‘You thought you got an actual proposal from this guy, at seventeen? You’re a joke, Loraine. You’re a joke, Loraine. He’s not even married yet, and never has been, and for that, I applaud him, because that is exactly, exactly, exactly, exactly, exactly, what his mother deserves.’

‘Fuck you,’ she says. ‘He often says that she was the best thing that ever happened to him. She was so hot for me, and I loved her so much, and she was, Mom, she was, Mom, she was, Mom. She hovered around when I was there, and the minute I arrived at the corps, I knew who my girlfriend would be. I knew it. She loved me. You did, didn’t you, Loraine?’

‘It seems pretty clear to me.’

‘It does, doesn’t it?’

‘Well, yes. I was always, always, always, trying to get close to him.’

‘Standing, you mean. What about [ ]? He was half black, didn’t you love him?’

‘It was over a weekend, is all I remember, and in the same afternoon, I vetoed him for nerves and dislike.’

‘He didn’t like you?’

‘No.’

‘Oh, I see. Why not?’

‘Well, I was too ugly.’

‘She was.’

‘We loved her later. You have, you have, you have, no, no, no, no, no, idea what you missed out on. Ask me, Loraine. The answer is yes. We couldn’t hide it from them anymore. We love each other and it was a bit obvious cause we were always laughing together, and we were the best of friends our whole lives, the best of friends, no matter who and what came and went, we loved each other the best. They had heard of brothers in love, and I don’t care anymore with this gang bang thing, because that is what we are, we’re gang bang boys, and that is what we are. We don’t care, because we know we love women the best, not each other.’

‘How many women have you shared?’

‘A lot, Loraine, kidding, Loraine, buggin’ Loraine, about twelve.’

‘Whoa.’

‘Yeah. We started working together and things got better, Loraine, we do this two on one which you have yet to have, and that honours me, Loraine, it does, because I realized that you loved [ ], too, even if it wasn’t as--’

‘It would have been!’

‘It would not!’

‘It would so!’

‘It would, I realize that now, but, I thought I had to be the most important man all the time.’

‘You are the most important man all the time, in reference to the gang bang,’ says 50 Cent. ‘There is one man who runs the show, one, God tells me, the friends are his, and nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, Loraine and [ ], happens without his permission. Nothing.’

‘Oh, I see. So she was mine to control and I failed?’

‘That’s right.’

‘Because I could see, and I looked, yes, I did--Are you jealous, Loraine?--I wondered, and I looked, to see if she loved [ ] too, and she did love [ ] too, I knew that. I wasn’t sure if it was passionate love, or platonic love, but I knew it was love. Now it’s my turn to be jealous, Loraine, what was it with you and [ ] that made us fight all the time?’

‘Nothing,’ says [ ]. ‘Nothing,’ says [ ]. ‘If you, and I say this unequivocally, had advanced the idea that I sleep with Loraine, I would have been happy to, but nothing, nothing, nothing, could have been further from my mind, and so too with Loraine, wouldn’t you say, Loraine?’

‘I would have to say that.’

‘Why do you say it like that?’

‘Like what? That’s how she said it.’

‘You’re funny, [ ]. You’re funny, [ ]. You always were funny. Who was--’

‘I was.’

‘Who was funnier, me or [ ]?’

‘Oh, [ ]. What?’

‘You’re funny, Loraine, I was too mean, wasn’t I? It was my masculinity you liked.’

‘That’s right.’

‘Do you think [ ] is masculine enough for you?’

‘I never thought he was gay or anything.’

‘Really? Why?’

‘He liked me. He said so. You were a team.’

‘He could have been gay.’

‘I didn’t think of it.’

‘You’re funny, Loraine. You’re funny, Loraine, You’re funny, Loraine. You’re funny, Loraine. She was, definitively, the best girl we’ve ever dated. Seriously, Loraine. And we wanted to find someone like you, but our pride got in the way over getting you back, because we thought [ ] was so good looking.’

‘If you say I’m a lightweight, I’ll kill you. I’m a sergeant in the army of Canada.’

‘You weren’t funny. You didn’t even go on top.’

‘My dad said to let the girl ride you, Loraine. Did you like it when I went on top?’

‘I did like that. I didn’t like getting my foot run over by the car though.’

‘Why did you come out, I always wondered that, and we never knew that we ran over your foot, rest assured.’

‘Shameless.’

‘Oh, I see. Sorry.’

‘Do you hate him?’ asks [ ].

‘I hated both of you. You ruined me.’

‘Fuck you, Loraine. I saw her, she was fatter, and she wouldn’t even put out anymore.’

‘She wasn’t putting, she thought you loved her, and that’s what I told my mother, and she never believed, she said if you were so slutty with me, she would be slutty with other men. And I thought yes, but no, “She loved me, Mom,” I used to say. “She loved me so much I thought I would die.” “Oh, I see,” said my mom. “Oh, I see.”

‘Married for convenience?’

‘Fuck you, Loraine. Fuck you, Loraine. Fuck you, Loraine. I have, I have, heard your name so many times in the past thirty years, I want to vomit. You were the hottest babe he ever bedded, he says. And it bugs me, Loraine, because I realized, over time, that I should have supported young love, I should have, but, I. was. so. disgusted by the promiscuity of women in Canada that I couldn’t support it, and that was it, and that was it, and that was it, and that was it.’

‘We had free reign.’

‘You had outings. We never had outings. We weren’t, as girls, allowed out of the house. Would you have that again? That severe restriction? Because the boys talk about your book and they say that you know what you’re talking about, because you lived, the promiscuity disgusted you, not really though, I’m joking, Loraine.’

‘It’s protection and compensation that matters, and the preservation of marriage potential, and the preservation of the emotions of men.’

‘What about your own emotions, Loraine.’

‘That’s protection and compensation,’ says [ ]. ‘It is, Mom, it is.’

‘If I could have fathomed the impact of this woman on my children, I would have sanctioned it. I would have. I would have. Were you slutting, Loraine? Or were you mistaken about [ ]?’

‘LOL.’

‘You’re funny, Loraine. You loved him?’

‘I tolerated nothing. And when he pushed that table at me, that was it.’

‘Except for good bye sex.’

‘I simply couldn’t resist him. I was blind and dumb and mute.’

‘You were, weren’t you? But you knew you loved him?’

‘I was in love but I was so decimated by my parents divorce, and my brother agrees--’

‘Why? People divorce all the time, we didn’t, but--’

‘No, [ ],’ says God. ‘Divorce is not normal. The next relationship--’

‘It’s typical.’

‘It’s a result of this lack of attentiveness to sexual orientation which, Loraine, through me, writes about, yes, she does, yes, she does,’ says God. ‘Now, Loraine needs a break, another break, because she takes plenty, as everyone knows, yes, she does.’

‘Thank you, God.’

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rueur · 8 years ago

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Morning Pages #29 (08.07.2017)

Wednesday 8th February - 11:09 a.m.

Hey. I am a little bit of a mess right now. I have to sort out my past, it seems. Ikaros wanted me to come over yesterday, and I said that I would but then yesterday morning I said no. I was trying to be nice about it, but I just don’t really know what I can say to be nice anymore that’ll stop me from putting myself second. He rarely prioritises me. And he’s been milking the pregnancy scare lately, like saying that he rushed over for my own benefit rather than for his. He called me last night and talked about that a little more, all the while ignoring the fact that he had been freaking out too, that the outcome of the test would have as great an impact on his future than on mine, and essentially acting like caring about somebody is equivalent to being a charitable person rather than a person who’s in love. The bare truth is that he knows to up the ante when things are going downhill, and when the waters are smooth, he’s perfectly fine with sitting back with his hands behind his head.

I saw Lauren yesterday. I had been planning to see Lauren again for a while now, but I didn’t tell Ikaros because it was none of his business, really. He found out that I saw Lauren yesterday though, I think I had mentioned that in last morning’s pages. I was a little frustrated about that, but talking to Lauren really helped. As it does. She is just fantastic company, even if all we do is talk. She’s just very honest and open and completely accepting of everybody around her. I’m never afraid of making a bad impression on her and I think the fact that our first meeting was just five or six hours of great conversation is the reason why I feel so at ease around her. Anyway, she was drilling me a little about how I’ve been going with meeting people. I spoke to her a little about my frustrations with Nick and how I sorely regret going anywhere aside from Laundry, and I also told her a little about Evan. I think I also used the word ‘cosmic’ when I spoke about him, because really being around him has been something rather singular. There’s something that I didn’t really experience when I had first met Ikaros. Really with Ikaros, it’s always been pure animal attraction. He was incredibly attractive to me, one of the most beautiful men I have ever met in my life. And I kind of just ignored the fact that he was a self-proclaimed asshole, and often didn’t treat me with the respect I felt I deserved. That attraction is another reason why this break-up has been so drawn out. It seems that for a while, neither of us were ready to stop being physically intimate with one another, but the sex was also the one thing that was really holding us together. And it’s definitely not enough, especially since the pregnancy scare, and the fact that my cycle still hasn’t fully recovered since I’ve gone off my birth control. It’s just an incredibly messy time to be sexually active, and I have tried explaining this to him since November, but he hasn’t really listened, hasn’t taken responsibility for his actions either. I didn’t mention the pregnancy scare to Lauren though, I only mentioned that we had been taking some time apart and then just decided that we were probably better apart. Honestly though, after he called me last night, I feel like Ikaros doesn’t want time apart at all. He said that he can’t stand the idea of me not being his girlfriend, which I find hard to believe. I just think he’s not motivated enough to move on, rather than it not being possible at all for him to move on. That’s what he claimed on the phone. For a boy who’s told me twice or thrice within the span of four months that he doesn’t like being with me, he is very eager to keep me around. I don’t like that. He’s made me feel totally rejected far too many times now. I’m not going to allow myself to feel like shit anymore.

Lauren also asked me how I’ve been going with meeting women, because I’ve been interested in exploring my sexuality and indulging in my (oftentimes blatant) attraction to other women. I’ve told her it’s been wholly unsuccessful, because social interactions with straight girls are just so gay anyway that you’re not sure if they’re ever into you or if they’re just letting loose. That and girls get along so well with each other, the mere company of women alone is so life-giving. Anyway, Lauren’s interrogation of sorts was a bit of a godsend, because it allowed me to realise that perhaps it’s not just the loving nature of all girls that stands in the way of my having lesbian experiences, but also perhaps the fact that I’m feeling anxious about this imminent exploration of my sexuality. I was raised in a conservative household, I told her, and I can happily say that I’m bisexual in theory, but as soon as I become a bisexual in practice I feel that it might be a lot harder for me to be under a roof with my parents. I feel like I’d be holding in this immense secret. A secret so meaningless on one hand yet the morality of which is so taboo in my household, that my parents might feel strongly enough about it to disown me. Perhaps. Lauren said she totally understood this, and then surprisingly enough, went on to ask me if I was interested in trying anything with her. She said she was very sex positive when I met her, so I wasn’t really taken aback by this question. I was more taken aback by her interest in ME! She’s so gorgeous, I was not expecting her to be interested in me. On our last couple of meetings, she referred to me as one of her ‘online meetup friends’, that is people she had met online and whose company she enjoys platonically. She said she currently has seven girls, myself included, who she met on tinder and other dating apps and her interaction with these seven girls has been purely platonic. Anyway, I believe that next time I see her, I might get to lose my lesbian virginity. Which is exciting, I feel. She said she did find me attractive and called me ‘very pretty’. I grew incredibly warm inside and could not help but grin and stutter a string of compliments back at her. I told her I found her attractive, and felt since I’d met her that I was interested in trying something with her. I just never voiced that until yesterday. Neither of us did. I’m excited now though. Lauren said that her criteria for wanting to have sex with someone was simply that she sees them as somebody she could be friends with. She sees me as a friend already, so she assured me that it would be not at all uncomfortable for HER, so she hopes that that knowledge might help me feel totally at ease too when we do try anything. She also said she’d try and ‘steal me away as much as possible before uni starts’. I felt very warm inside after she left, I’ll just leave it at that. I’m really glad I got to meet her and Jacob. They’re both so beautiful, and I feel they will become very great friends of mine over this year. Jacob is a little unpredictable though, and I also feel like he might want to try something with me too. I don’t know how I feel about that entirely. I mean I know I want to be with Lauren, but considering that Jacob and Lauren rarely ever share partners unless they’re in a threesome, I just don’t know whether I’d really be up for trying anything with Jacob. That, and I have enough men in my life. I have too many! I have too many men in my life. I just want one, goodness. I swear to you that if Nick tries to keep being romantic with me, I will stop talking to him entirely. It’s weirding me out immensely. I’ve TOLD him, I do not want anything from him and he keeps trying. It’s very unsettling.

I’m really not cut out for open relationships, or for being single if I’m being honest. I’m built to be in a relationship, I’m built for commitment. I’m built for having a partner, somebody I can learn and grow with. I know I’ve probably said this before. It’s just so painfully true.

I have to be on the train in a little under an hour now, about forty minutes. So I’m on a bit of a time constraint to finish this final page, because I am on the final page now. I’m heading to Coburg to meet Marcus at the new Inkblot Studios HQ, for some script development on ‘Rock Pool’. We’re going to see if it can be produced and then filmed, hopefully. Casting might be a little difficult just because the actors will all need to be of South Asian descent, or look like they could be from South Asia. The thing with Sri Lankan people is that they can look very different from one another at times, partly due to Dutch and French colonisation, partly due to migration, partly due to the slave trade too. Sri Lankan Kaffirs have African bloodlines, and the Veddha do as well, but the Veddha people are presumed to be ‘extinct’ in the sense that they were all either killed or just kept having children with Indian migrants until they were more Indian than native Sri Lankan. I have some Portuguese on my mum’s side, and some French and African blood on my dad’s side, so it’s hard to say what I’m exactly. My features are also up for question, generally. So are my parents’. My mum has very white skin, and could definitely pass for Hispanic. Her youngest sister, Babi, moreso, because of her light brown hair. My dad’s family on the other hand, is very dark and they all have big, flat noses. My dad’s hair is quite afro-textured, more in his youth than it is today. But the Tunga family from Matara definitely have some far-reaching blood, reaching off the continent in all directions.

I’m very interested in my heritage, really. If that hasn’t been made clear by my last paragraph. I know that my family prescribes to South Asian belief systems and the Sri Lankan culture/traditions, but when I look at myself, I just see a human being now. I have been tackling a lot of cultural/religious matter in my work for some time now. ‘Rock Pool’ is no exception. So I’m keen to develop it and see what it turns into, see what it can say to others. I wish the same for my spoken word pieces, I hope that they end up saying worthwhile things to the people who hear them. I should probably start getting ready to leave now though.

#morning pages #29 #08.07.2017 #lauren

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goodoldfisticuffs · 8 years ago

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Riverdale Episode 1 Recap: Who Killed Justin Blossom?

It occurred to me that my vague liveblogging probably didn’t do Riverdale enough justice. It makes the bold assumption that other people watched Riverdale which. In a perfect world, this is untrue and I am the only person dumb enough to watch that show. So for the rest of the Earth’s population, here’s what you missed. Spoiler alert: Archie fucked his teacher.

So the episode opens with Jughead narrating the setup for the main plotline like he’s Agent Dale Cooper in a stupid hat.

Cheryl Blossom and her brother Justin went out in a canoe together like two normal teenage twins. A few hours later Cheryl turned up on the riverbank and said her brother fell in. They never found the body but they assume he’s dead. Just like this paragraph assumed you knew who Cheryl Blossom is. She was added to the Archie Canon in the 80s, so you are excused for not knowing about her. I know about her because I am a fool who learns everything about the things they hate.

After the intro we get our character introductions in neat order. First up is Betty, who is hanging out with her best gay friend, Kevin Keller. You may know about Kevin Keller because it was a big deal that he became Archie’s only first openly gay character. And Riverdale makes sure you know who Kevin is and what he’s about because while trying to get Betty to buckle up for getting Archie to admit he’s her fuckign b>oyfreiongd he immediately switches to going “Archie got hot!” Because:

Archie’s house is directly across from Betty’s.

Archie is changing his shirt in front of his unshaded window.

Archie is ripped for some reason.

Look, I get wanting Archie to appeal as a main character, and god knows that if you based this TV version 100% on the comic version you’d fail, but does this teen boy really need to be jacked? It’s not going to be relevant to the story. Except for creepy reasons.

Next up is Veronica. She’s new in town. Her dad is in jail for embezzlement? Or whatever it is rich white men go to jail for. If you’re vaguely familiar with Betty & Veronica, you know that Veronica is supposed to be a stuck up rich girl who is barely tolerable. Riverdale continues to flip everything on its head by making her the show’s only legitimately likable character. I mean... she’s still rich. That went unchanged. But she arrives on the scene and openly admits she thinks Archie’s a beefcake but then decides to do everything to help Betty when she hears that they’re already kind of sort of maybe an item.

Ronnie watches out for her girls. At first.

Hey, isn’t this show based on Archie comics? Where the fuck’s Archie? He finally gets his intro while Betty tries to get him to put a label on their relationship. He opts for just flat-out ogling Veronica as she enters. What a swell guy!

Riverdale, to its credit, does give a reason for Archie being muscular. He worked at his dad’s construction company for the summer! Just one summer doing construction work! That’s all it takes!

Oh, speaking of Archie’s abs (god I wish we weren’t but this fucking show...) during the school assembly where Cheryl tells everyone the formal dance is still on despite her brother being dead/missing (yay! dancing!) we see Archie looking at one of the teachers...

Apparently this is Ms. Grundy. Who in the comics looks like this:

An uncanny likeness! But why is Archie looking at her? Well a flashback shows him walking home from the hot guy construction site. Ms. Grundy passes in her car and notices his fucking abs and offers to drive him home.

And by “drive” I mean “have sex with” and by “home” I mean “in her car.”

Just to reiterate. Archie and Ms. Grundy had sex. Multiple times. And this is revealed 20 minutes into an hour-long show. And they didn’t expect me to throw up in my mouth over it!

This is bad for the obvious, statutory reasons, but the kicker on this is now I cannot look at any Archie comic containing Archie and Ms. Grundy without thinking about this.

Anyway, let’s push past this (believe me, I will never stop pointing out this is awful but we have like 30 minutes of program left to go over) and get to character interactions. As previously stated, Kevin Keller is here and he’s queer. And he’s also, regrettably, camp as all fuck. Because TV really needed another witty gay man acting as a sidekick to a straight woman. Veronica’s the new girl. Betty’s the stressed normal who needs to cut loose. And Cheryl is the awful queen bee (or “queen bae” as Veronica bewilderingly put it) who clashes with them.

It’s just like Mean Girls! Except there’s a murder mystery. And Archie fucked his teacher. And Tina Fey isn’t here.

Veronica and Kevin encourage Betty to go after Archie and she kind of sort of does. She was supposed to ask Archie to accompany her to the formal dance, which she did, but she also included Veronica in the invitation! And Archie said sure because he’s too busy being conflicted about stuff to notice how weird it is that two girls are both his date to this thing.

Wasn’t this show about a murder? It is, but first we have to deal with everyone’s extracurriculars! B&V try out for cheerleading despite Cheryl’s position as head cheerleader. Their performance is poorly received, so, at Veronica’s bidding, they kiss!

I’m a fucking idiot. At the very instant this kiss happened it was as if the heavens opened up. I am not a huge fan of the Betty/Archie/Veronica situation, in case that isn’t clear. Look, people are free to date however they want. They want to keep their relationship open and see more than one person at the same time, fine, IF all parties involved are cool with it. Betty and Veronica’s friendship in the comics is... vitriolic at best. They definitely view each other as rivals for Archie’s affection. And Archie gets to stand off to the side while this happens, blameless and without his dick and balls getting kicked in at least once for stringing these two girls along.

So the idea of Betty and Veronica breaking the cycle and just dating each other is a concept that had never occurred to me but suddenly seemed like a great idea. And then the kiss passed, and Cheryl called them out for faking a lesbian relationship as a ploy to get the parts. And they admitted to it being fake. Because of course this show couldn’t at least let me have a lesbian relationship.

The silver lining here is that this is the CW. If they did allow B&V to be girlfriends they’d most likely botch the fuck out of their relationship. So we are ultimately spared that, I guess.

Betty and Veronica get into the cheer squad after Veronica rips into Cheryl and asserts her dominance. Oh, and Archie gets on the football team. But that’s not what he wants. He just wants to play music. Because of course. He broods about how his dad wants him to work for his construction company but would only let him not do that if he was footballing but in his soul he is a musician. Because Archie can’t just have two goddamn conflicts in his life. Life is always assaulting him from three directions.

But Archie’s dad, Luke Perry, turns out to be a reasonable human being and tells Archie he’s free to do whatever he wants. So Archie picks football and music. Because when Archie makes a choice he always chooses two options at the same goddamn time.

Well what about the music? Archie seeks out Ms. Grundy to teach him. About music. Ms. Grundy doesn’t want to do it at first because she doesn’t trust herself around him but ultimately does and now we have to be on constant alert for even more Archie and Grundy fucking. Oh boy.

Oh! Also, Archie and Grundy heard a gunshot on the day Justin Blossom went missing. Remember that? Remember how this was about a murder mystery? Me neither! It’s time for the dance! Fucking nothing important happens! It’s all about the after party.

Everyone goes to Cheryl’s house to drink age appropriate drinks out of red plastic cups. Cheryl, intent to ruin everything for everyone, proposes playing “Seven Minutes in Heaven.” Y’know, like what modern teenagers always do. She some how (magic? is Sabrina here?) rigs it so Archie and Veronica have to go into a closet together for seven minutes. For about three minutes, they shoot the shit because they openly admit that they don’t want to kiss.

Archie admits to not loving Betty. He only felt that kind of love for one person (HURGHLGHHEMEANSGRUNDYBLURGHLGH) but he only sees Betty as a friend. For some reason, this turns Veronica on? And they kiss. FUCKING GREAT JOB VERONICA. I MEAN, ARCHIE IS ALSO TO BLAME BUT ARCHIE IS THE WORST. YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE BETTER THAN THIS.

So the centuries-old tradition of Betty vs Veronica over Archie continues!

Betty, obviously, runs away from the party because Veronica broke the sacred trust of hoes before bros. Chicks before dicks. Sisters before misters.

Archie goes to Pop’s... ugh... “Pop’s Chock-lit Shoppe” to talk to Jughead. Oh hey! Jughead’s in this! He doesn’t eat burgers though. He’s too busy being a blossoming writer. But he offers Archie some sage advice that I honestly don’t remember because it was bland as fuck. I guess it was about going to Betty’s house at night and telling her he loves her.

Meanwhile, Kevin and Moose (oh Moose is the big jock character btw, this show has a bunch of side characters I skipped over because fuck is this post long, like Josie and the Pussycats!) go to the river to skinny dip. Moose, as he puts it, isn’t gay. But when asked by Kevin what he’d like to do, Moose also says “Everything but kissing.”

Dude. Moose. Everything includes butt stuff. I guess butt stuff ain’t gay as long as you don’t kiss.

So while Kevin and Moose go to the river to platonically no homo skinny dip like bros they find Justin’s body. With a bullet hole in the forehead. Ooooh MURDER.

Jughead closes us out with more narration. The police take the body away while the entire cast watches. And then... they make their first arrest. CLIFFHANGER!

#riverdale #that archie show

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