#and fuck the sandaime tbh

[prince-everhard]

Weekly Oneshot Challenge - week 8

Title: Implications Rating: gen Fandom: Naruto Word count: 552 Summary: The Hokage isn’t kind. How could he be, with an entire village to protect and an entire army to command? Kakashi will do his duty, but he won’t forget. [strike team au]

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Kakashi looked up from the file in his hands to his Hokage with an expression that could generously be called mildly treasonous. He felt more than mildly treasonous; in that moment he felt betrayed down to his very core. “Is this seriously…?”

The this that had Kakashi so shaken were the files in his hands. His soon-to-be genin team. A genin team was bad enough in Kakashi’s opinion. With the curse that followed him every time he dared to care about someone, giving him genin was like giving them a death warrant. Bad enough to risk Minato-sensei’s son in this way. Bad enough to risk the last loyal Uchiha to the village. Bad enough to risk a natural born mokuton user. All three of them together? When they could be so valuable to the village when fully trained?

As if that wasn’t enough, the three of them being on the same team painted a grim picture for their futures.

“You know what a team like this means, Kakashi.” The Hokage didn’t even have the decency to look apologetic for thrusting this kind of responsibility onto Kakashi. He puffed on his pipe for a moment. “I wouldn’t trust this kind of power with just any of the rank and file.”

Kakashi looked back down at the files in his hands. Two smiling faces and one grimmer than his own at that age looked back at him. They were still so young- all prepubescent baby fat and unscarred skin. An Uchiha, powerful and adaptable. A mokuton user, capable of both defensive and offensive abilities. A jinchuriki… paired with the two bloodlines historically known for being able to control the tailed beast’s power. Kakashi felt sick. He was being asked to train and mold what could very well be the most powerful strike team in the five great nations. He was being asked to bring his curse to bear on three children who would have targets painted on their backs for the rest of their lives.

Kakashi looked up at the Sandaime again. “Hokage-sama, I-”

“Consider what would happen to them without your guidance,” the Hokage interrupted him, as if he hadn’t even begun speaking. “They will be put together, surely you understand why. But who else would you have me teach them?” There was a calculating glint in the Sandaime’s eye. “I suppose they could be taught through more unconventional methods. Konoha hasn’t strayed too far from its roots, after all.”

It would have been kinder for the Hokage to have executed Kakashi right where he stood. Fury and absolute fear tore through him, and he struggled to keep his expression as clear as he could. Not that it would matter. The Sandaime wouldn’t have even hinted at ROOT without knowing what havoc it would cause Kakashi.

The paper crinkled as Kakashi’s fists clenched. He was trapped. There was nothing he could do except accept this responsibility and train those kids so well that they couldn’t fall victim to his curse. “I understand, Hokage-sama.” 

“And?”

It was only his iron control that kept Kakashi’s killing intent from leaking out. “I will train them to the best of my ability, and protect them until my last breath.” And when they shook the world, he vowed to himself, he would make sure nothing could stop them.

[evilkitten3]

do you think another reason the chuunin exams were created (besides filtering out the "untalented" nin & introducing them to the life of a shinobi) was to create a trauma-bond between the teammates that survived/passed it? it's no secret that kid's lives or their innocence were never really valued in Konoha (or anywhere else for that matter), so I wouldn't be too surprised to find out this was done to strengthen the bond between teammates & better their teamwork/spirit

also, do you think the chuunin exams were especially traumatic during the sannin era, especially bc they were 6 (or a few years older but defo younger than naruto's gen) ??? and even if it wasn't the chuunin exams goal to create a traumabond, it certainly did for the sannin?

honestly, no. it's possible that i'm just the sort of person who tends to assume the best of people, especially fictional ones, but it's also true that i just tend to find fucked up shit more interesting when it was done with good intentions. i'm only into cartoonishly heinous motivations when they're applied to individuals rather than systems, i guess.

the thing you need to keep in mind concerning my view of the naruto universe is that literally every single character is deeply traumatized, whether they're aware of that or not. for starters, the vast majority of characters were raised to be child soldiers in a world where that's considered normal. our modern view of the 18-21 age group as the youngest adults doesn't apply there - legally, these people are becoming adults at ages as young as twelve (and that's the improved version - a lot of the older cast members have been shinobi since as young as five or six).

even the characters who never became ninja have all been through some pretty serious trauma. ayame and teuchi lived through the kyuubi attack, tazuna and his family had to deal with the whole gatou situation, and so on. no one in this world is remotely okay by our standards. but what that means is that being a neurotic mess is the norm. for the whole. entire. world.

a world based on structures so fucked up is going to be full of thoughts that to us seem entirely contradictory - how can konoha say it cares for its citizens when of the five most famous genin-by-six, the most functional is jiraiya (kakashi is a mess, tsunade is drinking and gambling away her problems, orochimaru is out there inventing to moral event horizons to cross, and itachi murdered his whole family and tortured his little brother about it)? but - and this is something that is understandably hard for people to wrap their heads around - we're shown things from people like the sandaime's point of view. we know - for a fact - that hiruzen cares deeply about his village and its citizens, and that most of the people he was personally involved in fucking up are the ones he - genuinely - cared for the most.

the second thing you need to be aware of is that the rankings in the naruto world are based on real life ninja ranks - jounin, chuunin, and genin are all real world terms that were modified to fit the world of naruto. whether irl ninja could move up in the ranks or not is something i don't know, but given that naruto is a shounen, it makes sense for the protagonist to have a clearcut explanation of the steps he needs to take to achieve his goal (ninja president) laid out early on, and that he and his friends be given the opportunity to move through the ranks throughout the course of the story (although, as many people have pointed out, naruto stayed a genin pretty much the whole time)

from an irl perspective, the chuunin exams are a way to introduce other characters, give the main trio a chance to level up, and also have a tournament arc for funsies. in-universe, the purpose is for genin to get a chance (or six chances kabuto) to become chuunin, and to strengthen ties with other villages via a show of trust - we're showing you our next generation. this is incentive to maybe not go to war again pretty please heart emoji poop emoji.

the thing is, life and innocence are valued in konoha, and likely the other villages as well, though we don't see it as much. but it's such a twisted, foreign concept to us real world non child soldiers that it doesn't seem like it (more accurately, it's valued by the people but not the system, and the people in charge of the system ignore that bc unfortunately for the entire naruto universe sakura didn't get around to inventing mental health until after the fourth war ended)

danzou and hiruzen exemplify this perfectly imo. hiruzen is full of ideals and beliefs and trust, and bc of that isn't able to see the system for what it is and can never fully understand why all of his good intentions keep churning out shitshows. on the other end of the spectrum, danzou is very aware of the world he lives in, possibly more than almost any other character. but bc of that he views the nature of humans as a flaw for shinobi to overcome - ninja are tools for the good of the village, and can and will be discarded just as easily. from a brutally practical viewpoint, danzou and hiruzen were probably genuinely extremely effective at keeping konoha together. it's just that how that worked out and how they did it is morally abhorrent to the majority of people (including hiruzen himself)

lastly, the concept of trauma as we view it not only doesn't but honestly can't exist in the world of naruto. say someone has a jutsu that allows them to create a brain scan similar to something we can do irl. the effects of mental illness on an adult brain wouldn't register as anything abnormal bc that's what everyone's looks like. you aren't having a "panic attack" or a "trauma response" or a "flashback", you're just going through the same shit everyone else is. that's all par for the course, it's just what life is like. that's how the world of naruto sees it, at least.

so where we see "children going through horrific events together and bonding bc they have no choice", the residents of narutolandia see "tuesday". so no, i don't think the chuunin exams were formed with the intent of gluing people to each other via trauma - they don't need to be. that's what life is for.

concerning the sannin, i'm not sure they ever took the chuunin exams. i honestly don't even know if the chuunin exams would've been a thing yet - the earliest one we know of is the one kakashi and his team were at, which was konoha-only and thus already fairly different from the one naruto went through. the sannin lived through all of the first three ninja wars, and though they probably didn't fight in the first one, they likely became genin just as it ended (otherwise i'm not sure how sarutobi would've had time to teach them...?). orochimaru's parents were already dead by the time he became a genin, so it's not hard to imagine they died in the first war. the sannin are actually relatively lucky - the second world war didn't happen until they were in their 20s, so they got a good two decades of not being at war (this is the longest space of time between the wars, followed by the time between the third and fourth wars (~15 years) and then the time between the second and third wars (less than 1 year)).

actually, thinking about it now, i think it's possible that spend early pre-ninja childhood with their village at war, then spending the rest of their youths in (relative) peace, and then finally getting tossed right back into shitshow two electric boogaloo might've been why they ended up more fucked up than most. so i guess the solution really was the moon coma after all

tldr: madara was right. not where i thought i was going with this but it does seem to be where we ended up

[ironharvests]

Ship bias for Tsukimono, Raijiri, and Byakuren?

WHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

thank you for these! uhm, hm. so these three are my OCs and i largely do not care about canon characters atp so i don’t really have many ships, but i will go the hypothetical route.

tsukimono:

is a lesbian, so...... ladies and enbies to the front. tsukimono is really fun and strange and flighty and forgetful and loving and eclectic and a bit uhhhh unhinged woman, so people who can handle that energy are definitely a good fit for her.

non-romantically and non-sexually, i enjoyed plotting her with a friend’s madara! their philosophies didn’t quite mesh which made them fascinating to witness.

my friend’s hashirama was VERY fun with tsukimono! both were OP and had questionable morals but they liked each other quite a bit! solidarity!

idle ships i have thought about for around 3 seconds: tsuki/mito. tsuki/tsume (kiba’s mom, time travel. assume time travel if it’s anyone outside her generation). any time travel ship tbh because tsukimono is stuck in yuki mirror hell and has been manipulating world events from her frozen hellhole! she can be with anyone, any time, baby!!! thus is the power of the world-walking oracle of the Yuki tribe! ( i also have an au where tsukimono and haku switch places in the timeline so SHE is in modern day while THEY are pre- and post-founders’ era. it’s big sexy. )

really, tsuki/anyone. i don’t write her enough outside of discord. she is my favorite mountain witch :)

her canon ship is with her wife, raijiri. they’re my fave oc pairing

raijiri:

raijiri/tsukimono. they’re very in love and i adore them. wife ladies.

briefly had a “ship” where part of a peace treaty with konoha involved raijiri beating the shit out of tobirama and sleeping with him. tobirama sucks but it was a funny scenario, 8/10.

uhhhhh..... raijiri is a taijutsu and weaponsmaster as well as the jade rabbit of the yuki tribe, so anyone she can spar with is a good look.

hm... she is queer with a strong preference for women and enbies. basically, are you strong? or can she protect you? she enjoys either end of the spectrum, with particular love for those she sees herself as protecting.

women. enbies. OCs. give them to me.

byakuren:

byakuren/tits. doesn’t matter what kinda tits. just tits.

he’s bi with a preference for feminine traits and characteristics so if you’ve got those.... nice.

byakuren/sandaime mizukage ( @bredfaith ) is really good and tragic. byakuren/his favorite wife sumire is less tragic and very heartwarming! big man and tiny wife. he becomes a wife guy. it’s everything i love in one place.

currently playing around with byakuren/madara. depends very much on the portrayal, but there’s potential. really there’s potential with any of the other founders. i’m also easily amused thinking about byakuren/first through third suna kages because it would be a mess.

all OCs, time travel ships, what the fuck ever. playing fast and loose with this generation because otherwise i’d never get to do anything with them! :3c

[blackkatmagic]

Kagami/Tobirama Prompts

Kagami/Tobirama:

·       TobiKaga where Kagami is a Shimigami and needs to reap Tobirama (but he's just too pretty so Kagami decides to keep him instead.)

·       modern au, and them being themselves??? and cute.

·       I have some potentially sappy (and possibly smutty) Kakashi/Shisui prompts that might interest you! When Shisui FINALLY got up the courage to actually tell Kakashi that he likes him and wants to have his babies! Their first date and/or their their first time together. The first time they say I love you to each other. The time Kakakshi proposes to Shisui because he's actually a big dork and realizes he can't live without the big idiot, and wants them to spend the rest of their lives together

·       kagami and izuna run across tobirama during a job in the warring clans era and it should be a show down but kagami gets fuckin love STRUCK. “You didn’t tell me he was hot. Oh my god his bicep is the size of my head. I think u should reconsider your brothers peace thing.” N izuna is is like no, NO. Then, enter stage left: Touka. N izuna is like ok so there ARE benefits.

·       how about tobi as the smart TA and Kagami as a ‘struggling’ student??

·       kagami has a crush on his TA (tobi) and is painfully obvious about it, and tobi is amused?

·       tobikaga with kagami hokage au (fuck danzo and sarutobi y wasnt it kagami as hokage)

·       maybe a relieved reunion after a mission gone very wrong? (maybe a fix it for "show me a hero" because that fic is still breaking my heart over a year later?) or any happy Kagami/Tobirama to be honest

·       "we were both hired by the same (deeply clueless of ninja politics) person for a job and we decided to get along for the sake of professionalism and keeping up appearances whilst inwardly seething with our age-old bloodfeud, but it turns out you're really good at what you do and pretty funny and now the inward seething is the part that's for appearances help" scenario for KagaTobi?

·       some cute Kagami/Tobirama, with the prompt "I'm either going out for ice-cream or to commit some heinous crime... I'll decide in the car"?

·       a curse breaker AU for Kagami and Tobirama where Tobirama is a history nerd who keeps stumbling into danger much to kagami's constant despair, because dammit tobirama you just had to walk into the crocodile infested route didnt you.

·       Tobirama returns to Konoha (somehow) to find it better than he'd left it, thanks (somehow) to the efforts of the Sandaime Hokage - not the man Tobirama had once nominated to the position, but the one who still has eyes only for him.

·       So I'm a history major—I appreciate that juicy Historical Gossip. Which is to say that your Shisui-and-his-mum-look-at-old-KagaTobi-photos-and-Speculate story 'in deep places' is a super super favourite of mine. I'm not sure if you'd want a prompt for that since it seems like you have plans with a series name and everything, but my feeling is that Shisui will be finding out more about Kagami and Tobirama, and maybe Kakashi could be along for the ride this time in a KakaShi twist?

·       In celebration of succesfully infusing Tenzo with Tree-DNA, Oro indulges in his science crush and brings Tobi back to life. After listening carefully to an update about what's been going on here, Tobi decides to bring Kagami back, they adopt Tenzo, beat the shit out of Danzo, replace Hiruzen as Hokage with a kandidate of your choice. Throughout all of this Tobi is muttering about how Kagami's the only good student he ever had.

·       Maybe a Kagami/Tobirama where A is a (seemingly peaceful) demon/entity that B accidentally summons while going through old scrolls just after the founding of Konoha? tbh don't know which way around it works better, though the idea of Tobi being a demon that wants to fix their infrastructure just Gets to me.

·       After the founding the elders from both clans demand a marriage to secure the alliance between them. Things are fine until someone on the Senju side suggests offering Tobirama, and the Uchiha are like *scoff* if it's someone that prominent they'd have to respond in kind and Izuna isn't going to marry him, so who would? and Kagami shrieks out an Elle Woods style "ME!"

·       Kagami/Tobirama and identity porn?

·       Kagatobi with shapeshifters of some sort? Could definitely see Tobirama as a big leopard or otter, maybe Kagami as a mussed up owl or mischievous Magpie. Any or none of the above

·       I would love a mr and Mrs smith AU of kagatobi if it strikes your fancy!

·       a kagatobi soulmate AU where you have the palm print of your soulmate on your body and kagami has two on his chest where tobirama did chest compressions to save his life

·       modern day police precinct B99-ish AU where Kakashi is the precinct's top detective who holds the most solved cases record and Shisui is the genius detective who has just moved from the infamous Uchiha precinct and is kind of trigger happy from his experience. Kakashi doesn't mind acting the cool senpai guiding his cute overexcited kouhai

·       What about a kagatobi fic where tobirama is like a monster or demon or somwthing who on halloween is sent to kill kagami who mistakenly thinks its his halloween costume and gushes about how amazing he looks and just word vomits because tobirama is hot and tobirama is sort of flustered

·       “Do not step any closer, you are too attractive for me to control myself around you.”

·       modern AU where Kagami is a PhD candidate who keeps on seeing Tobirama's name in almost all of the research papers he's read. Ffw to his PhD thesis defense and Tobirama is part of the panelists

·       what if Kagami was also brought back in the edo tensei with Tobirama and ends up scolding his Hokage for actually leaving notes behind of this. "Look at what you've done." 

·       Hey for the prompt submission could you possibly do Kagami/Tobirama Pretear AU?? With Kagami being the Pretear? 

·       Tobi/Kaga temperature sharing. Aka: Kagami runs hot, so in the winter Tobirama drapes himself over him the way cats will inevitably curl up over the heat vents.

·       may I suggest some touchstarved Tobirama/Kagami (either or both) and accidental touches that become not so accidental? can be smutty or not, up to you :)

·       how about ghost!Tobirama/Kagami, with Kagami being the only one who can see him. Could be a modern or fantasy or other AU but it could also work very well in canon.

·       Kagami, Tobirama, and that one time Hashirama finds them in an Interesting Position?

·       KagaTobi fairytale au?

Kagami/Tobirama, steampunk, "that's not the proper use!"

[mogsam]

kishimoto is a coward because iruka shoulda been the first sign for the readers to see how fucked up the shinobi system was (tho haku’s speech to naruto is considered a red flag tbh) when he called out kakashi at the chuunin exam nomination and once iruka saw that the sandaime, a man he trusted, witnessed (in the manga translation) kakashi call team 7 his soldiers like they were at war and in total 9 students being put in an exam we all knew they weren’t ready for and allow it to happen, iruka should have took a step back and went “these are children who might die and no one is realizing the gravity of this because they (the jounin leaders) all think they have something to prove and that this is a worthwhile experience when it’s really fucking not” but instead kishimoto made iruka apologize to kakashi and konoha 9 wound up traumatized by the chuunin exams

[lloydaesthetic]

ofglitterandstars

There might be some untagged or on ao3? :oo

but i don’t wanna read someone’s else’s ShikaNaru fic I wanna read my own