#and for the few that are full time it was a difficult slog to get to where they are

[taxideermied]

I have really enjoyed seeing everyone’s species transition posts going around. I’ve wanted very much to make my own but I knew if I was going to write it all down, I’d have to temper it against what I could realistically accomplish so as to not upset myself.

Here are some of the obstacles I can identify that make certain kinds of species transition difficult presently.

Conflicting goals I am on the whole very unsure about doing anything that affects my appearance, even impermanently, and this is not at all helped by the fact that I want conflicting things out of a possible physical transition. Visible body hair is good for an elk, but is not really how I appear as an elf/maia or cetacean. Tattoos would be amazing but I struggle to find material or styles that would please “everyone” and I don’t think I could handle having a bunch of disparate, mis-matched pieces all over my body with no overall theme or cohesion. There are also a good deal of things I would like that I know are simply not possible or safe.

Familial judgement Despite being an adult I’m still in a place where I rely on my family quite a bit because of my chronic illnesses. I’m lucky enough to have a good relationship with them anyways, so I imagine I would still worry over their reactions even if I didn’t regularly need their assistance. I know it’s generally good to say “you’re an adult. Fuck them, who cares” but materially, if I did things that were drastic enough that they revoked their support, it’s very possible it would be detrimental to my well being both mentally and physically.

Upkeep I think this is the largest psychological barrier for me. There are so many things I would like to do but I know I just cannot because of the mental and physical requirements of maintaining them. I have dyed my hair a couple times (once in a semi permanent dye that washed out over a couple of months and turned from black to a really unfortunate off-brown green for most of it) but it is just a slog to keep up with. I can’t even get my hair cut yearly, let alone maintain a bleach and dye job every few weeks. I’ve had fine enough success keeping up with piercings thus far, but I hesitate to take on anything that has more serious risks of rejections or other complications. Certain makeup styles or contacts are things I could do occasionally, but not regularly.

With those issues identified, I’ve decided to split up my transition goals into “attainable now” and “long shot.” Long shot goals are things that likely aren’t going to happen until there are big changes to my physical condition and/or living situation, or are things that are nice to think about in an ideal world but probably won’t happen.

Attainable now

Take better care of hair and continue to let it grow out

Eat more vegetables and greens

Adhere to self identified ‘elf life principals’ which I can elaborate on in a separate post perhaps at some point.

Return to learning Sindarin

Improve swimming abilities/swim more

Learn more about local and native flora

Improve posture

Wear hoof shoes more

Find species affirming perfumes/fragrances

Improve self confidence

More bones/taxidermy around

More affirming jewelry. Most of my jewelry is vintage/secondhand, and I have some pieces that are super affirming to me but I don’t like to wear them constantly for risk of their breaking.

Long shot

Split tongue

Ear pointing surgery

Dye hair a “natural” red OR

Dye hair silver and black

Return to dressage and show jumping

Fullbody tats if I can decide on a coherent design and artist that fits my vision.

More nose piercings, and maybe lip piercings if I can land on some I like that won’t cause dental problems

Acquire (custom?) elf-ish robes for everyday wear

Digitigrade stilts (very unlikely given my balance problems)

Acquire and be able to swim with full monofin + “mermaid” tail combo

Some kind of custom cane that feels elf-y but is still practical for my everyday needs

I’m sure there’s more that I haven’t considered but :> I think this is a good enough list for now, and writing it down has helped me set some good goals!

[lil-tachyon]

For the last couple years I've been keeping a handwritten list of good horror stories I've read. I guess the most recommendable ones are The Music of Erich Zann by Lovecraft, The Stolen Body by Wells, Mimic by Wollheim, The Thing in the Weeds by Hodgson, Cyclops by Leiber, The Screaming Man by Beaumont, and The Open Window by Saki. I might type up and post the whole list on my blog after I've done some more reading (my list of things I still need to read grows much faster than the other list).

Including your other suggestions so I can tackle them all in one post.

I wasn't sure I was going to get to all these but I ended up being kinda knocked out by a nasty cold this week and had time to lay up in bed reading through all of them. Which was an absolute pleasure! Thank you for putting this list together. For fun I thought I'd do a mini-review of each story.

For context, I'm the kind of guy that's read probably every H. P. Lovecraft or Clark Ashton Smith story ever published. I had devoured most of Jules Verne and H. G. Wells by the time I was 14. What I'm trying to say is that I'm already a nerd pre-disposed to loving any Weird Fiction or early sci-fi/horror. If that kind of stuff isn't your speed, then adjust your expectations accordingly.

Also SPOILERS AHEAD for 50-100+ year old short stories.

"The Music of Erich Zann" - H. P. Lovecraft - 1921: This was always going to get a recommendation from me, I just enjoy Lovecraft too much. I'm glad I re-read it though, it had been a while and I think this might be one of my favorite of his stories now. The thing that stood out to me this time around was the exploration of the relationship between Zann and the anonymous protagonist. Feels uncharacteristic of a Lovecraft story to focus so much on the interactions between two human characters and it's done with a fair bit of depth. Bonus: no Lovecraftian racism in this story! Also check out this thrash/prog banger from the Mekong Delta album named after this story.

"The Stolen Body" - H. G. Wells - 1898: So when I opened up my copy of A Dream of Armageddon: The Complete Supernatural Tales (a misnomer it turns out, because it didn't contain the other Wells story on this list) I was surprised to find a bookmark exactly halfway through "The Stolen Body" from where I must've stopped the last time I tried reading this anthology over a decade ago. And I can understand why I would've stopped there because this story is kind of a slog. The premise is fine- a man severs his consciousness from his physical body in the course of an experiment in astral projection and is alarmed to find that when he attempts to return to corporeality another spirit has already taken possession of his frame. The problem is that this story is recounted twice- first from the perspective of a friend where, in spite of their incomplete information, it's pretty obvious what has transpired, and then a second time from the astral-projecting protagonist himself. In the protagonist's telling there's an interesting account of his journey through a kind of vapid hell where body-less spirits wander through eternity suffering of boredom and only able to interact with the physical world via mediums but the concept isn't explored in any depth and is recounted in a painfully "tell, don't show" manner. Can't say I recommend, but it's an interesting artifact of a time when late 19th century occultic beliefs showed up in sci-fi. Kind of like how a lot of 50s-70s sci-fi features psychics.

"Mimic" - Donald A Wollheim - 1942: My favorite story from the list. It's weird, compelling, and extremely brief. I won't summarize it because I think you should just read it. Surprised I hadn't heard of it before, especially since there's apparently a Guillermo Del Toro film adaptation of it? Also surprisingly difficult to track down the text. There are a few incomplete versions of it floating around but if you want the full story, I found it as part of this anthology on archive.org.

"The Thing in the Weeds" - William Hope Hodgson - 1913: - Before this, my only exposure to Hodgson had been "The House on the Borderland" (great story by the way), and reading the "The Thing in the Weeds" has me thinking I should dig a bit deeper into his bibliography. Conveys a sense of claustrophobia and anxiety that feels like classic "Weird Tales" fare while dealing with much lower stakes than unnameable cosmic beings. Maybe more horror stories should be set on the open sea...

"Cyclops" - Fritz Leiber - 1965: This is not a story, this is Leiber's idea for a cool vacuum-dwelling space creature dressed up as a story. Dialogue feels totally unnatural, characters are blank slates, tension is set at zero. But the creature is pretty darn cool and the story is very short. So if you want to just read about a neat alien, go ahead!

"The Howling Man" - Charles Beaumont - 1959: I had already seen the Twilight Zone adaptation of this story a while back so I knew the outline of the plot already, but that in no way diminished my joy in reading this. Beaumont's prose is highly engaging and contains a surprising amount of humor that I don't remember being present in the television version. The only real weak point is the ending. I think a bit more ambiguity over whether and to what the extent the Howling Man and the Abbott were lying to the protagonist would've demanded more introspection from the reader. The idea that releasing the Howling Man / Satan is the direct cause of WWII feels a little too simplistic and also depends on this weird assertion that the early Weimar Republic was experiencing an unprecedented era of peace and prosperity that I'm pretty sure doesn't hold up to historical scrutiny. Still highly recommend, a very fun read!

"The Open Window" - Saki / H. H. Munro - 1914: Less a horror story and more a... silly story? I don't know how to describe it other than it feels like the kind of thing you would have to read and analyze for a single high-school English period. Didn't really do anything for me but it's like a 5-minute read so check it out if you want. Does make me wish I could go on one of those "retreats to the countryside for my nerves" that turn-of-the-century English gentleman and ladies are always going on.

"In the Abyss" - H.G. Wells - 1896: A much better Wells story! And I was lucky enough to find this in the other print Wells anthology I own. (I have an addiction to bringing home old paperbacks I don't need but it's a cheap addiction and I don't have the heart to break it. Plus they're all on shelves and alphabetized so my wife can't get mad at me. Anyway, it's the shelves and shelf space that gets expensive...) It can be a little bit "gadget fiction-y" in its description of the submersible but overall it's well-paced with some good tension and a truly weird exploration of an underwater world. Recommend if you're looking for something outright odd or you like specifically underwater sci-fi. Don't recommend if you don't like thinking about the ways you might die in a submersible.

"The Stone Ship" - William Hope Hodgson - 1914: An interesting and definitely weird story, again about strange happenings on the open sea. Stretches the premise a bit too much, both in the actual length of the story and in my willingness to suspend my disbelief of the "scientific" explanation given at the end. I enjoyed it, but for a spookier and shorter take on a similar premise I'd recommend Lovecraft's "Dagon."

Anyway, thank you again @siryl for your recommendations, I had a blast reading through them!

[mollywog]

i have regency!lark questions!

how is the writing process different from other fics (for example, canon-compliant or in-Panem AUs)? how much research goes into it?

do you feel immersed in the world that their mannerisms, speech patterns, etc come easily to you? or does it take conscious effort to regency-fy these things? (as a non-native English speaker, this is the thing i am always curious about when reading historical AUs!)

what are your non-fan media recs for someone who knows next to nothing about regency era? (sorry if you shared something like this and i missed it!)

thank you!

Hey!!!

Thank you for the ask @thesunpersists!!

Oof! My husband jokes that the only history I know, I learned from American Girl Doll books, which is some what accurate: I absorb history best when it’s the backdrop of fiction (especially a romance)

A few years back I went on a ‘classic’ author binge. I would read/listen to a book and follow along with the shmoop/cliff notes/spark notes, then finish off by watching any screen adaptations I could find. (I wish I had known about tumblr then *stares wistfully off into the distance*)

With that in mind, I’m not sure I have a full grasp of what each time period is… Regency is more a vibe than a historically accurate set of dates in my mind; An amalgamation of the things I read and watched and very light research… Idk I don’t want to take the fun out of storytelling by getting too caught up in that stuff, which I understand may not be for everyone.

Anyways…

I’ve enjoyed a lot of adaptations of old books. If we’re talking specifically Regency - in addition to the novels, Pride and Prejudice 95, Emma 09, Persuasion 95 are my favorites! I also love Lily James and Matt Smith so Pride and Prejudice and Zombies was fun!

I know you said non fandom but I’m going to mention cwmilton because I adore their Emma FanFiction so so much!

I think War and Peace is technically Regency Era though not set in England. I slogged through the novel and there were parts I enjoyed, but not enough to do it again. Again my love for Lily James and James Norton had me watching the 16 BBC adaptation and enjoyed it for them and the costumes.

I’d like to check out and Tom Jones is on my list thanks to @wildwren and Mr. Malcom’s List is another I hope to read/watch!

I went through Dickens, Brontë, Hardy, Gaskell so if anyone wants to talk adaptations!

Okay. So I’m not sure I’ve answered your questions 😳… so I would say: usually my desire to write a historical AU comes from recently consuming a peice of media from that period - So I’ve already got the vibe fresh in my mind. But also yes - I do think it’s difficult to write and stay in that time periods speaking pattern and vocabulary.

Anyways, feel free to send an ask or DM if you want to talk fics or historical fiction, or adaptations or whatever!!!

[rigelmejo]

Chinese Listening Experiment 2/18/2025, some small updates:

I am seeing the benefit of "easier" listening now. I am 30/60 videos through Lazy Chinese's low intermediate playlist. Now when I listen to her videos 2 times I can catch 98-100% of what she says the second time without looking. I need to look at her videos the first time, because a lot of these lower intermediate videos point at pictures or visually do something or hold an object to explain what a word is. I partly suspect her regular Intermediate or Upper Intermediate videos will be easier, since she'll explain new words with other words so I won't need visuals, but I don't want to skip these lower intermediate videos as they cover a lot of food items, verbs, and are helping me get used to recognizing those words faster (less delay between me hearing them and then understanding). I highly recommend Lazy Chinese's videos.

I tried listening to Tea Time Chinese (also for learners), the first episode I could follow 95-98% (almost all words), the 5th episode I needed to listen to it (paying half attention) twice to understand the main idea and I would need to either listen with full attention or re-listen multiple times to grasp the episode 95%+. Part of me understanding the first lesson is it was about language learning which I know the words about, the 5th lesson is about schooling and asside from test, language, chinese language, age, scared, I didn't know some of the words. I think this podcast is just a bit too hard, I'll need to listen to more Lazy Chinese first. By too hard I mean I can't follow it 100% if I'm not paying full attention. It is still easier than audiobooks in some ways - I know almost every word I hear, its just hearing/understanding isnt happening fast enough and there's not much additional context if I miss a word because I didn't recognize it fast enough/its a word I just don't know. The other listening podcasts felt a bit like this, but Tea Time Chinese feels the closest to something I could listen without effort to soon. I listened to their 1984 episode and it was fine following the main idea without paying full attention. Whereas the paranormal podcast and 2 friends chatting podcast, I just caught sentences and phrases but struggled to follow the main thing going on/being discussed.

In some ways audiobooks are easier? But I think partly that's because if you've read it before, you know the context and don't have to work so hard just to figure out what's going on. You can spend your focus on recognizing the words/phrases that are easiest to recognize, and over time that increases. And then also, I studied primarily by reading fiction books for years, of course narrative language is the easiest for me to follow. there are a few fiction audiobooks on bilibili I can just manage to somewhat follow, despite their plots being brand new. If they have captions I can simply follow them, so I'm avoiding reading captions. I notice, of all things, its getting much easier to recognize names in a new audiobook. They're repeated often, and they're not common words, and they stick out to me. I do think my brain is still trying too much/getting exhausted easily if I try listening to an audiobook of something I've never read.

I assume its going to feel like a no progress slog until 150 hours?

A few hours ago, I felt like suddenly it was exhausting to listen to anything. Maybe I was noticing more words than before, and that made me start working harder. It kind of reminds me of the point when you're learning to read and you... suddenly realize all the parts you still can't understand. That's usually a good sign because it means you learned a bit more, which is making the unknowns more obvious. Or maybe I've been just pushing my focus too hard... it's hard to try to recognize a bunch of words in fairly difficult listening material (audiobooks). I am taking a break and playing Tomb Raider.

Despite what I just said, I am excited by this listening experiment! I have managed to study more consistently than I ever could with glossika. I think it's because I told myself I can partly listen, partly focus, and relisten. I don't feel like I need to do it perfectly, I only need to do it.

I think when/if I do this with Japanese, the first 150 hours are going to be the hardest. Because I really will have to stick to beginner learner resources and those feel draining when I don't understand them easily yet, those require full attention since you need to view them. Maybe I'll stick to half Nihongo Con Teppei since I don't have to look at that and can follow it? That might help prevent me from giving up...

[soulsxng]

"Would you look at that. Full marks, hmm? You've done well with this set of lessons, Cerus. But...you took this yesterday, did you not?"

The brightly displayed excitement on Cerus' face was quick to falter, and change to his very best depiction of innocence and cluelessness. Complete with a few little rocks back and forth.

"So then, what was your lesson today? Should I guess?"

"Yeah...! You guess!"

A low chuckle, and Helai makes a show of pacing back and forth in front Cerus, who covered his mouth to hide his giggling.

"Let's see, then...perhaps it was...writing? Language? No, I don't think it was anything like that. Mathematics, then? Self defense? Or..." The dragon playfully flicks his tail at Cerus, distracting the child just long enough to pick a piece of grass out of his hair, and point out a dusting of dirt on the arm of his shirt. "Nature, maybe? You wouldn't have gone out to play when you were supposed to be studying, would you, Cerus?"

Realizing that his little secret had been found out, Cerus shrieked (a sound of which Helai still wasn't entirely used to having be a good thing) and spun around, taking off at full speed.

He didn't make it far before Helai caught him and swung him up into his arms, but the effort was admirable.

"It's too hard! I don't wanna study that stuff!"

"You always have trouble when things are new, no? You said the same thing when you started your last set of lessons, and now look how well you've done. These will be no different--"

Cerus goes limp in his arms, head dropping onto the dragon's shoulder with an unceremonious little thump. He was pouting.

"...What if I helped you with it, then?"

A little nod. This was almost always how it went-- from the beginning, Cerus had a difficult time focusing on lessons for very long. And learning a new concept was even worse. Every mistake only served to sap away any motivation to try again, so getting to the beginning points of understanding could be...a slog, to put it one way.

Still, when Helai was there with Cerus, things seemed to go a little bit better. Perhaps it was because Helai himself had similar issues when he'd finally begun his own studies that he knew how to explain things in a way that made sense. Or maybe it was as simple as Cerus wanting to make the dragon proud.

"Alright, alright...let's begin then, shall we? Go get your book."

[news365timesindia]

[ad_1] When Vijay Shankar was dismissed by Lucknow Super Giants’ Digvesh Rathi, you contemplated upon a couple of questions. When will Rishabh Pant, the LSG skipper, change the ball, especially with some dew coming into play? And when will Pant bowl out Ravi Bishnoi, his best bowler for the day? The point gained even more importance with MS Dhoni taking strike. The veteran wicketkeeper-batter has an excellent strike rate against pace bowling since the start of IPL 2024. But his strike rate of just over 115 versus spin, in that period, pales in comparison.  It just took one more over for Pant and co. to opt for a different ball. However, astonishingly, Bishnoi’s full quota of overs was never used. All that the spinner could do was watch Dhoni weave his magic in the slog overs, and in the company of Shivam Dube, steer Chennai Super Kings home. On a track that was offering some grip, and with Dhoni at the crease, it was difficult to fathom the logic behind such a move.  The only reasoning behind such a school of thought could have been that Dube was still at the crease. Dube has gained a reputation of being a power-hitter against spin. However, on a track where most of the spinners were extracting more than 1.5 degrees of average turn, it would have taken a brave man to bet on the southpaw tonking a string of sixes.  “We discussed with a lot of players, but we couldn’t take him (Bishnoi) deeper, that (bowling his last over) didn’t happen today,” said Pant to the host broadcaster when asked about why Bishnoi bowled just three overs.  In Pant’s defence, he has shown leadership qualities by guiding the side to four wins despite the set-up being plagued by injuries to key pacers. Mayank Yadav has still not played a game this season, while Mohsin Khan was ruled out of the tournament. Avesh Khan himself missed a few games. Just that, on occasions, his tactical acumen has come under criticism.  Despite a few flaws in relation to his captaincy smarts, the LSG camp would be gladdened by Pant getting back to some kind of form with the bat. On a tricky deck, he batted almost right through the innings and accumulated a 49-ball 63. The central point of his batting was how he paddled through phases where he found it quite tough to shift gears.  In fact, at the completion of the 17th over, Pant was scoring at just over run-a-ball. In the nick of time, Pant landed a couple of meaty blows to not just ramp up his strike rate but also propel his side to a competitive total. This innings may not even be a footnote in Pant’s future autobiography, but in the prevailing circumstances, it was a much-needed knock. More so in the backdrop of Pant having aggregated a mere 40 runs in his first five innings of the tournament.   Ultimately, it turned out to be a day of mixed fortunes for the LSG skipper: His side came second-best while being up against a vintage MS Dhoni performance. The one silver lining amid a sea of fans wearing yellow jerseys is that he now has some runs under his belt. The post IPL 2025, LSG v CSK: Rishabh Pant’s Day of Mixed Fortunes appeared first on Sports News Portal | Latest Sports Articles | Revsports. [ad_2] Source link

[news365times]

[ad_1] When Vijay Shankar was dismissed by Lucknow Super Giants’ Digvesh Rathi, you contemplated upon a couple of questions. When will Rishabh Pant, the LSG skipper, change the ball, especially with some dew coming into play? And when will Pant bowl out Ravi Bishnoi, his best bowler for the day? The point gained even more importance with MS Dhoni taking strike. The veteran wicketkeeper-batter has an excellent strike rate against pace bowling since the start of IPL 2024. But his strike rate of just over 115 versus spin, in that period, pales in comparison.  It just took one more over for Pant and co. to opt for a different ball. However, astonishingly, Bishnoi’s full quota of overs was never used. All that the spinner could do was watch Dhoni weave his magic in the slog overs, and in the company of Shivam Dube, steer Chennai Super Kings home. On a track that was offering some grip, and with Dhoni at the crease, it was difficult to fathom the logic behind such a move.  The only reasoning behind such a school of thought could have been that Dube was still at the crease. Dube has gained a reputation of being a power-hitter against spin. However, on a track where most of the spinners were extracting more than 1.5 degrees of average turn, it would have taken a brave man to bet on the southpaw tonking a string of sixes.  “We discussed with a lot of players, but we couldn’t take him (Bishnoi) deeper, that (bowling his last over) didn’t happen today,” said Pant to the host broadcaster when asked about why Bishnoi bowled just three overs.  In Pant’s defence, he has shown leadership qualities by guiding the side to four wins despite the set-up being plagued by injuries to key pacers. Mayank Yadav has still not played a game this season, while Mohsin Khan was ruled out of the tournament. Avesh Khan himself missed a few games. Just that, on occasions, his tactical acumen has come under criticism.  Despite a few flaws in relation to his captaincy smarts, the LSG camp would be gladdened by Pant getting back to some kind of form with the bat. On a tricky deck, he batted almost right through the innings and accumulated a 49-ball 63. The central point of his batting was how he paddled through phases where he found it quite tough to shift gears.  In fact, at the completion of the 17th over, Pant was scoring at just over run-a-ball. In the nick of time, Pant landed a couple of meaty blows to not just ramp up his strike rate but also propel his side to a competitive total. This innings may not even be a footnote in Pant’s future autobiography, but in the prevailing circumstances, it was a much-needed knock. More so in the backdrop of Pant having aggregated a mere 40 runs in his first five innings of the tournament.   Ultimately, it turned out to be a day of mixed fortunes for the LSG skipper: His side came second-best while being up against a vintage MS Dhoni performance. The one silver lining amid a sea of fans wearing yellow jerseys is that he now has some runs under his belt. The post IPL 2025, LSG v CSK: Rishabh Pant’s Day of Mixed Fortunes appeared first on Sports News Portal | Latest Sports Articles | Revsports. [ad_2] Source link

[kierancampire]

Finished The Witcher 3! So I have thoughts

I tried playing this game multiple times, but I just gave up over and over again due to finding the game so clunky and difficult. However, I forgot the last time I gave it up, and that's because I found it boring. The world, the characters, the dialogue, the gameplay, I just found it all so dull and lifeless, and every character just felt like they were there to be sultry and sexy, there was nothing else to them

But for the first time, I finally met Yen again. But this time I was determined to beat it! Now this is where my views on it are complicated. Never in my life have I tried so hard to like a game, never have I had to. And doing the Baron's quest, I started getting a bit more invested but it was lightly, and for me, I only really started getting invested sorta late game, like when you find Ciri

The thing is, although I eventually got more invested and enjoyed it more. Eh. I know this game is so beloved and critically acclaimed, it's spawned multiple TV shows, books, I know so many people love it. And I didn't hate it, like I eventually beat the main game, I did quite a few side quests, I cared about the ending I got and a fair few characters. But I am also unsure if I'd ever replay it, a lot of it felt like a slog on the first playthrough, I hated how Geralt talked, the world is miserable and unenjoyable, and it took so long for me to start enjoying it in some amount

A part of me does wanna do a few contracts and a couple more side quests, cause I know that this game, once I put it down it is definitely out. But I *REALLY* wanna play Dead Island 2, I already delayed it to finish this, and I wanna try that out way more than doing side stuff here. I wish I saw what everyone else saw in this game, and I am glad I finally beat and played it, but it just is not for me, there were good parts, but there was just a lot of bad too. I've never played the other games, so maybe I'd enjoy it more if I had, but I also couldn't imagine playing them. I only really cared about Ciri and what happened to her, nothing else interested me too much

One thing I quite enjoyed though was going through caves and getting hidden chests full of good loot! That was always enjoyable!

[nymphrasis]

Update Regarding to My Pokemon Ask Bloggies

* 🛸　.　　•.  　🌎　°　.•　🌓　•　　.°•　　•　🚀 ✯.    •.    .  •.  　.　•　★　*       Heya heya! Figure I would give an update! For starters, I don’t plan to end nor take down @ask-the-abomination (^ ^)/. I am still debating on the idea of what to do, however I am feeling leaning on rebooting it! Like, keeping some of the story aspects but also roll around with a different idea! I’ve felt that maybe I rushed in to the story a little bit and mayhaps that is the reason why I feel both blockage and felt that things are going too fast  ( ；∀；)! There is an additional protagonist I would like to add, but I won’t spoil who it is! Secondly, I am working on filling in roles of slots I have emptied for newer Pokemon characters for my more larger project set mainly for writing! I am willing to show that I am working on @ask-the-tale-of-kingdoms  ◝(ᵔᵕᵔ)◜! I have used characters on that blog years ago, but I chicken out and deactivated my account  〔´∇｀’’’〕. I was only here for a short moment as that blog. Sorry!  I am making a return this time and will stick to it this time around  (•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑! I will need to work on something that fit the three sisters, instead of just showing the one qwq. As it will be three protags this time around, instead of the solo Kuruna ( Indeed I did readjust the story by a bit! Just did additional for the sisters and their play in the storyline! )! There are still several spots that needs filling and sprites needed before I start! But I am really excited to return to the ask blogging community at some point  ♡(੭´͈ ᐜ `͈)੭! It will be purely writing, so hope people don’t mind! Oh and I have been working on redesigning a few characters, as they did needed updated works! So that is taking time on its own there! And lastly, there is an unnamed story relating to the Eevee ( Named Hoshi ) I have feature on the top post in @ask-the-abomination ! Characters are being made by a friend of mine, in exchange for both money and UFT characters I have for her! This story does not require as many characters, so it is getting closer to achieving what I want! It isn’t treated as a full priority however, as the Kingdoms story have my utmost focus  ( ；∀；)!! So yeah!  I really am looking forward to returning to the Pokemon ask blog community, fully, hopefully by this year! If sprites are tough to achieve, I can try to maybe aim for headshots or something else! I like to add lil things, so people can tell what character is speaking if it is difficult to focus on the writing  （＾ω＾） !! So that is all for now! Hope the update is satisfying and wasn’t a slog of a read ;w;!!  * 🛸　.　　•.  　🌎　°　.•　🌓　•　　.°•　　•　🚀 ✯.    •.    .  •.  　.　•　★　*

[theflowerofthecommonwealth]

Power Armor Punch Part 11

Masterlist

Nick: *eases it to her mouth and slowly tilts the can so she doesn't drown* Let me know when you're done.

Jasmine: (Slowly starts sipping, drinking about half of it before she shakes her head and pulls back)

Nick: *takes it away* That-a-girl... I hope you can eat later... you need the nutrients to heal.

Jasmine: (Gives him a doubtful look)

Nick: Look, unless you're a ghoul, you need to eat. I know it sucks... I'm actually a bit envious. My sense of taste... it's not really there. Just a sensor that picks up all the ingredients in the food and tells me what it actually tastes like... in text. You get the full experience.

Jasmine: (Gives him another look. She spent so many years labeling food as danger and forcing herself to throw it up that her body just feels sick at the mention of food. It doesn't even taste all that good to her anymore, just the same poisonous mush) “……….” (Glances back down at herself, still checking for blood)

Nick: I promise you, I won't let you get poisoned on my watch. Just add poison tester to the growing resume of things I can double for. Heh.

Lucille: *gets up after a super long nap at the Slog* Mm... why does 88 smell like water and tar berries? Oh. Right. The Slog... *gets up and rubs her eyes*

Wiseman: Ah. Hey. You're awake. You doing okay? Where's that vigilante detective that's always following you around?

Lucille: Oh, Nick? He's babysitting...

Wiseman: Didn't know that was something he did.

Lucille: He's got no choice... thanks. For the blanket, Wiseman.

Wiseman: No problem.

Jasmine: (Scoffs, and she would smile a little at him if she wasn't feeling shittier than usual. But after THAT particular memory she ain't gonna eat for awhile, especially since she still expects to see her blood everywhere)

Nick: I know you're still reeling from the nightmare so I won't ask ya to eat right this moment... but later, when it's less prominent.

Jasmine: (Shakes her head at that, but then stops because of the headache)

Nick: Well, the way I see it, it's either eat or stay here for a month and be periodically dosed with nutritional supplements via an IV. Course we could always do the tube down your throat and into your stomach and force you to eat mush... *smirks* Honestly if I were you, I'd at least attempt to eat something.

Jasmine: (Side eyes him with a frown) (Even if she ate a full meal, she would just throw it back up almost immediately and get a flood of bad memories. And that would only be ONE meal. On the other hand, if they did the tube or IV, her hands would have to be tied at almost all times or else she would just pull it out, plus bad memories. Lose lose in this case, but what wasn't in her life?)

Nick: Fine, IV it is then... *looks away*

Jasmine: (Blinks a few times in surprise. She didn't even say anything….)

Nick: I saw that look, kid. *sniffs the air* You might need a shower.

Jasmine: (Chokes on her spit, casting him a WTF look. She keeps herself very clean, being prewar and all. Its a little difficult in post nuclear war setting, but she manages somehow. Even when she was kept in the dirty damp cell she was relatively hygienic)

Nick: Just saying- you've been in and out of things for a day or so. You might want to consider a bath.

Jasmine: (Nods her head after a moment. Hopefully this would help get rid of the lingering blood smell.…)

Nick: Do you think you'll behave if I help you to the showers and back? And before ya get all suspicious, I'm only asking this to ensure your safety.

Jasmine: (Tilts her head her head at him. Why would she get suspicious?)

Nick: Sorry if that sounded off. It's just after seeing what I've seen in your head and considering we're taking about you getting cleaned up, I'm concerned you'd think I have some "ulterior motive" and do something rash. *he's started to question if she still trusts him, even though he doesn't blame her for what happened a moment ago*

Jasmine: (Takes a moment to think about it) (Mouths) “I trust you.” (She never stopped trusting him, its just other things and other people she doesn't trust. She pushed him because he shook her at the wrong moment and she believed that he was someone else. And when she says she trusts him, she means she trusts HIM, not thinking that he has any other intention than what he says)

Nick: *eyes go a little wide before he smiles back at her* Will you get back into bed and stay there when we get back?

Jasmine: (Sighs, but nods slightly) (Mouths) “Not happy about it…..” (She means that she might put up a protest)

Nick: I know... *almost pleadingly* but can you at least try to cooperate? If not for yourself, for me?

Jasmine: (Nods again. She will try, but she cannot make any promises as usual)

Nick: Alright. Let me get you some soap, a rag and a towel. *leaves to ask Curie where those are*

Jasmine: (Stays still and waits, but its not like she can do anything else. However, being tied town with no means of protecting herself is starting to make her anxious)

Nick: *comes back with the items and starts undoing the restraints*

Jasmine: (Stays completely still, not moving at all until he is finished. Both of her wrists are a little bruised where Nick had to hold them tightly to restrain her)

Nick: *pauses when he notices the bruises. He studies them quickly before looking apologetically into her eyes* I'm sorry... I didn't mean to hurt you.

Lucille: *planting plants, making a greenhouse*

Jasmine: (Looks right back at him, her hands now free) (Signing) “I pushed YOU.” (Sitting up, a little too quickly so she puts a hand to her head)

Nick: Easy... you okay? *will respond to what she said once her dizziness subsides*

Lucille: *The folks here are really proud of their tar berry farm*

Jasmine: (Nods, blinking rapidly as she pulls her hand away from her head)

Nick: Good. As for what you said a moment ago, you pushing me is no excuse for my actions resulting in your harm. Usually, I'm very mindful of how much force goes into an action but I think I went a little to far, hence the apology.

Jasmine: (Shrugs) (Signing) “If you didn't use all that force, I would have done more damage.” (Shuffling her legs to stand up, slowly this time because her body feels like jelly)

Nick: *very carefully helps her stand* I'm aware of that, believe me. I still don't like that it happened.

Jasmine: (Pulls away from his help as she stands straight, swaying slightly but she manages to grab onto the bed to hold herself up) (Mouthing) “Shit” (Waiting for the room to stop spinning and her headache to calm down)

Nick: Don't go acting all foolishly brave and noble by refusing help. It only makes things worse for one person and that's you.

Jasmine: (Takes a deep breath, shaking her head. She has had enough help for today, she needs to do things on her own)

Nick: Fine. Suit yourself, but I'll still be near if you start to fall on your way to the showers.

Jasmine: (Sighs, grabbing the crumbled up blanket off the corner of the bed and wraps it over her shoulders, taking a few wobbly and dizzy steps on her own out of the room)

Nick: *follows her close behind*

*The halls look much the same as the rooms except for some signs and occasional paintings.*

Jasmine: (Realizes she has no idea where to go and glances back at Nick, putting a hand to the wall to hold herself up)

Nick: *walks up to her* Do ya need me to lead you to the showers? Cause I can do that.

Jasmine: (Nods, looking up at him) (Signing) “Sorry.” (Fully leaning up against the wall, taking some breaths to steady herself)

Nick: *does a half wave gesture before he draws closer* Don't worry about it. Here. Give me your arm... *going to support her by putting his arm under hers and around her shoulder*

Jasmine: (Holds out her arm, letting him support her because honestly she can barely keep herself up)

Nick: *pulls her near doing just that* Alright... let's go... *starts leading her to the showers*

Jasmine: (Follows along, half leaning her head on his shoulder to try to help her lingering hellish headache)

Nick: Almost there, kiddo. *taking it slow to keep from jostling her*

Jasmine: (Nods, actually very grateful for his help. Without it, she would've fallen over)

Nick: *as they get closer to a door labeled showers* You think you'll be able to take a shower on your own? I'm not sure if they have seats in there.

Lucille: *building defenses at the Slog*

Jasmine: (Shrugs. She will have to see once they get there)

Nick: *opens the door* Inside we find... stalls. Curtains... both sets separated by a wall for men and women... *guides her to the women's side and opens a stall* Looks like they have safety bars and a chair in case you want to sit...

Jasmine: (Nods, looking into the stall for a moment. Raises her wrists to gesture at the bandages)

Nick: Sure... as long as you don't pick at your arms...

Jasmine: (Frowns. She cant promise that. Same thing with the stitches)

Nick: *pleading tone* Please at least try to resist the urge? For me?

Jasmine: (Sadly shakes her head, looking down. She wants to say yes to put him at ease, but there is no guarantee. Especially after what happened, the horrible nightmare that still feels real, and her shoving Nick…..)

Nick: ... Know morse code at all? If it keeps your mind off of hurting yourself, I can stand here and chat while you clean up.

Jasmine: (Shakes her head. She never learned morse code, never even crossed her mind that she would need too. Perhaps they attempted to reach her at some point, but it’s all blurry form then)

Nick: Well, I guess a I'll just try to keep talking then. One tap for "yes", two for "no", three for "I don't know", and four for "change the subject". Will that do ya? *helping her with her bandages*

Jasmine: (Nods again, watching as her cuts slowly appear from under the bandages)

Nick: *slight encouraging smile, seeing some of them start to scab over* Well, look at that... looks like they've started to heal, already.

Jasmine: (Looks up at him with almost guilty eyes, not sure what to tell him. Those cuts are almost weeks old, they just stuck around due to her scratching them almost every chance she gets)

Nick: None of them look infected, either. That's a good sign... *unwrapping her other arm*

Jasmine: (Just stares down at her feet to avoid looking at him)

Nick: *finishes with the bandages* There we are. *takes the washcloth and soap and hands it to her* Here. I'll keep the towel on me when you're ready.

Jasmine: (Nods, stepping back and starts undoing her twin braids. This was gonna be a fun fight to wash and brush out her long curly hair)

Nick: *decides turn away to give her some privacy...* Would you be willing to let Curie do your hair? Don't know if my hands are cut out for braiding. My right might get all tangled up in it.

Jasmine: (Stops fiddling and taps to respond) “No.” (She can manage her hair on her own, hopefully….)

Nick: *sighs. He really wants her to start relying on other people other than him. He knows he won't be around all the time to keep her safe* Alright, then...

Jasmine: (Finishes unbraiding her hair, letting her hair flow freely, sighing at the thought of fighting out the knots. She turns to the shower, fiddling to remove the hospital gown)

Nick: *keeping his gaze averted. Wants to give her as much privacy as she needs to feel comfortable*

Jasmine: (Frowns again at the sight of her stitches and bandages on her legs and torso, clutching the gown tightly in her hand. Her mind starting to wander) “………” (For a moment she clearly saw her body all banged up and bruised, blood dripping down from her legs and the horrid words that had been cut into her soft skin with a knife…..)

Nick: *senses her hesitation* Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere. You're safe. *pulls out the hospital gown he nearly forgot he grabbed*

Jasmine: (Snaps back into reality, blinking a few times. She nods her head, then remembers Nick cant see her) (Mouthing to herself) “Stupid.” (She removes the rest of the bandages before she turns on the shower, setting the temperature at the coldest setting possible- standing still under it. Warm water seemed to luxurious for someone like her in this moment…. She closes her eyes, not minding the icy water against her skin)

Nick: Y'know, after taking a quick gander at the other stalls there might be hot water installed. No one's gonna get mad if you use it.

Jasmine (Opens her eyes to glance back at him, forgetting again that he cant see her. If she was being honest with herself, she didn't feel like she deserved it. Plus, she practically took cold showers her whole life. At her old home she let everyone else shower first and they couldn't really afford much heating so the water was lukewarm at best. At the cell room, she was only allowed to use icy cold water for her entire time there)

Nick: It may be hard to believe but you are allowed to enjoy small things like this... *leaning on the wall between the stalls*

Jasmine: (Taps back) “No.”

Nick: *rolls his eyes* Dearheart, I think you of all people deserve to enjoy a warm shower the most in the Commonwealth. Turn on the hot water. You'll thank me later. *really doesn't want to fight her over shower temperatures of all things*

Jasmine: (Sighs, reluctantly turning the nob too make the water warmer. She closes her eyes again, letting the water pour over her for a moment) “……..” (Well shit, now she just feels sad. Stupid emotions coming over at the wrong moments)

Nick: *reassuringly* See... now isn't that better than turning yourself into an icicle?

Jasmine: (Shakes her head, cursing herself for forgetting that he cant see her again. Yes, it did feel quite nice against her skin, but there was something off to her about it, like its not suppose to be happening. Especially to herself….)

@lucilleandherrobots

[gascon-en-exil]

What are your 5 favorite FE maps? Be it for story, gameplay, or anything else.

That's quite a difficult question, both because there's so many of them to choose from and because it can be hard to compare maps from different games especially when there are different design philosophies, ex. how most of FE4's maps are a slog to play through but are fantastic in terms of laying out the game's broad narrative. Still, in no particular order:

Genealogy of the Holy War Chapter 5

On the subject of FE4, the atmosphere of Chapter 5 absolutely sells it, full of mounting dread and a sort of fatalism that one rarely sees in FE or in a lot of video games for that matter. The massacre of the knights of Leonster and Quan and Ethlyn's deaths play out as a part of regular gameplay, with no way for the player to intervene in time, and the chapter hits you over and over again with every conquered castle and anxious character conversation and the inevitable barbecue that Sigurd is marching toward. The pacing slows to a crawl in the middle because desert maps are terrible, but like I said this is mostly about the story and atmosphere. Chapter 5 is the one that makes me most skeptical of IS remaking FE4, because of how much it conflicts with the philosophy of never allowing the player to feel too bad. Watch them add an Avatar who figures out Arvis's plan but sticks around anyway until Sigurd sends them to follow Oifey and Shannan at the last minute, paving the way for them to be playable again at the start of Gen 2.

Fates Revelation Chapter 21

Revelation's numerous gimmick maps miss more often than they hit, but this one is fairly interesting with tiles that shift enemies between promoted and unpromoted forms. There's some fun tactical potential here, especially as you can use a Dragon Vein to swap the tile effects, and it's more memorable fun than the route's awkward attempts at platforming or a stealth mission lifted from Path of Radiance or...God, that snow level....

Blazing Blade Chapter 26x (Eliwood)/28x (Hector)

Sonia is one of my favorite FE antagonists, because she's just so delightfully evil even as I'm fairly indifferent to her woobie of an adopted daughter. This map is sort of a take on a water dungeon concept, with platforms that sink and rise every few turns. It can be a headache to navigate, especially as Sonia is one of those bosses that spams long-range magic, but it's generally not too difficult to figure out unless you're actually trying to use Nino. The ending is great too, with the reveal that Sonia was a morph all along and didn't realize it.

Three Houses Crimson Flower Chapter 17

FE16's map design is overall unremarkable, so on the basis of character work alone it was either this or the non-CF battle in Enbarr for its Ferdibert boss conversation. This one took the prize though, because 1) that boss conversation requires me to be using Ferdinand, whereas the Dimidue death scene can be triggered by anyone, 2) that's just one line, and while it does provide the energy for the ship's Wicked parallel that the voice actors took advantage of that's nothing compared to a dialogue scene that's so gay that it had to be laid over a black screen because any visual would completely obliterate all attempts to no homo Dimitri and Dedue's relationship, and 3) unlike every other instance of optional character moments in battles I can think of in this game, getting the Dimidue death scene actually makes the map easier as you don't have to fight Dedue as a Crest Beast. That's some good gameplay and (very gay) story integration right there.

Radiant Dawn Part 3 Endgame

Desperately needs the option to skip enemy and NPC phases, but it's got a feeling of dread and inevitability similar to FE4 Chapter 4 thanks to the ominous counter in the corner of the screen that goes up whenever any unit is defeated. It's complicated and sprawling and I've seen this map play out in all sorts of ways based on what the AI decides to do, and the enemies can be quite difficult too and make it tough to rush ahead and treat this like a rout map. Then the counter gets to 80 and the map just...ends, and so does the world sort of. The first time you play through it without knowing what's coming up it can all be pretty jarring.

[kiruuuuu]

Kiru's Advent Calendar, Day 18💔

More of the Smoke/Mute uni AU! We're getting close to a point where the two of them actually talk to each other - I wasn't kidding about the slow burn 😁 (Rating G/T, slice of life/fluff, ~1.7k words)

.

James spots him mid-sentence. It’s likely not the most appropriate choice to interrupt himself just to yell a cheerful ‘hi Mark!’ across the public space yet instead of sparking irritation, Morowa merely chuckles in amusement. The ground is still wet from a downpour earlier, street lights and the bright pub sign reflecting on the glistening asphalt, refracting into glittering spots awarding the night a more glamorous flair than it deserves. Up until recently, his day could’ve gone better, his sleeping place not yet secured as Seamus is out of town and James is too proud to ask anybody else, plus the presentation due for tomorrow isn’t even half done.

He can wing it, but his contribution to the seminar so far has been shaky enough that he’d prefer to earn a good mark on it.

But Jordan invited him to their little hangout and there’s no refusing where Jordan is concerned, that man knows how to have a good time – so James tagged along and tried his best to enjoy himself, downing a few pints during this endeavour, and then he ran across Morowa. Finally. The woman can be more elusive than the Yeti if she’s busy, and no doubt she’s been keeping her schedule full following their break-up.

“- I guess what I ultimately want to say”, James continues after Mark has acknowledged his presence with a nod from a distance away, “is that I’m fine. And I’d still like to live with you.”

His ex-girlfriend’s smile is blinding, reminding him of why he developed a crush on her in the first place. She takes his hand, squeezes it, deems it as not enough and pulls him into a tight embrace: physical contact is important to her, be it with friends, family or her lovers, and it’s reassuring to witness there’s no hesitation in her affectionate gestures towards him. “I’m so glad to hear that”, she replies, voice laden with emotion. “It might sound odd, but I missed you this last week. Still… are you sure?”

Her question is warranted and he’s fully aware of the implications: she’s always expressed her desire for a more active, more varied love life, in dating other people. And though her admittance that she didn’t even kiss anybody else while the two of them were together filled him with gratitude, guilt overshadowed his relief. Because she’s been nothing but open and communicative with him, from the start, whereas he selfishly assumed it’d somehow work out regardless. So now, what he has to decide is whether he accepts her moving on and possibly bringing other people home while the two of them remain friends and roommates.

After some more deliberation which is just for show, really, he’s spent the last seven days pouring over this exact dilemma, he nods with confidence. “Yes. I’m sure.”

“Then you best take your key back.” And another problem solved.

They spend a few more minutes detailing the specifics, exchanging heartfelt messages of support and being generally sappy until he notices the other woman waiting a few feet away, shifting from foot to foot. “Sorry, didn’t mean to keep you. You off to somewhere?”

Morowa confirms and introduces her friend as Emmanuelle. “We’re helping someone else move out. Difficult situation.”

“If anyone needs a slogging, call me.”

“Will do.” A last grin, a last hug, and off they trot.

James imagined the conversation to go worse somehow, to involve more emotional suffering, yet both of them saw the end coming from miles away. It hurts less than he expected. Doesn’t make the void in his chest feel any better, though. To take his mind off it all, he saunters over to the only two other people in the street, one of them a tall, reasonably buff bloke with a pretty face and wild hair and the other one a bubbly fountain of neverending commentary. He’s never seen them together yet it’s obvious the shorter lad is a close acquaintance of Mark’s.

“- no more panel discussions, please. If you ever go see improv again, I’m with you all the way, but if I have to listen to another hour of pseudoscientific shite from old, white men, I’ll throw up in my mouth”, he chatters away as James joins them. “Hi! I’m Julien. Honestly, I don’t know who sets up those talks but they really need to -”

It takes another minute until James can introduce himself, sparking recognition in the young man’s face. “Aren’t you the dude who set the lab on fire two years ago?”

He smirks, offers a casual shrug. “Maybe.”

“You’re a fucking legend! I think the profs still use you as a bad example.”

Mark opens his mouth for the first time since James caught sight of him tonight: “Don’t you need to leave?”

“Ah fuck.” Julien checks his phone, frantically types out a reply while almost vibrating in place with suppressed energy, then gives a little wave. “Gotta run, bye James. Bye babes, don’t stay out too long!” He stretches to place a kiss on Mark’s cheek despite the lad trying to lean away from him, and hurries off in the same direction as Morowa earlier. James wonders whether it counts as stereotyping or something similar to assume that Julien and Emmanuelle know each other, them both obviously being French. Morowa would know what to call it.

Being left alone with Mark is always a little like being dropped into cold water, his presence starts out as suffocating, robbing James of any words he might know, of the ability to string them together to form a sentence. It’s not unpleasant yet he’s filled with the irrational urge to impress him, the pressure of which building until he either comes up with a topic to save himself or blurts out the first fully-formed sentence taking shape in his mind. Not that they’ve spent much time together, James simply has started making a point out of striking up a conversation with Mark whenever he sees him. Constant dripping wears the stone – he will befriend him, no matter what.

“Who’s he, then?”, he asks, motioning in the direction of the young Frenchman jogging along. Out of habit, he pulls out a cigarette, offers one to his companion who takes it with a nod before it’s lit up and welcomed by his lips.

“An idiot”, is the curt reply. There’s fondness in his voice and it suddenly clicks in James’ head.

While Julien gave him significant gay vibes, the kiss on the cheek could’ve been one-sided, something done between friends. But there’s the bracelet again, peeking out of Mark’s sleeve, three beads on it representing a very real flag James has encountered a few times before. It’s the toothpaste flag, as Morowa calls it, and either Mark is an overly specific supporter of just one group in the community – or he is, in fact, gay. And for some reason, this changes something about him in James’ mind, though he’s utterly unable to put it into words. He eyes him with a new kind of interest and tells himself it’s the same as if he recently found out one of his relatives was working in chemistry research – it’s a common ground of some sort. He’s now more determined than ever to get to know more about him.

“What?”, says Mark and James realises he’s been staring at him.

“You’ve been working out”, he states. Apparently it’s a day where he cracks under pressure and loses all control over what comes out of his mouth. The nod he receives encourages him, so he adds: “I remember your goal was to look good. You’re almost there.”

A brow rises, a silent question. Mark’s cigarette lights up as he sucks on it, brightens his face and contours his cheekbones, the sharp jaw.

“Now you just gotta do something about your hair.”

Mark scoffs, features softening (which is almost the same as a smile) and he runs a hand through the bird’s nest on his head. It looks soft. James wonders whether he had one or two drinks too many. “You do chem, right?”

“Yeah. And you’re in engineering?”

Superfluous information: Mark apparently deems it as irrelevant and ignores his question outright. “Think you can settle a debate?”

Gosh, is this genius actually asking for his help? James curses himself for not crossing his path earlier in the library so he could show off there – he should ensure there are witnesses at all times. “Sure, about what?”, he offers easily, trying not to let his giddiness show, but it seems it’s not the prodigy himself who requires his expertise. Mark indicates the pub with his chin, prompting James to stub out his fag and follow him inside to the loudest corner in the whole room.

Jordan is there, of course, a few of his friends and others James has never seen before, and it becomes clear very quickly they’re arguing about explosions. And oh boy, they better strap in, because this, this is right up his alley. Mark grabs a chair and James slides onto the bench, waiting for the perfect moment to cut in. And when he does, when all eyes are suddenly on him, everyone soaking up his vast knowledge with greedy curiosity, the day is saved.

The longer he talks, the more he indulges various ‘what if’-scenarios, the more anecdotes he drops… the more alive he feels. Someone takes copious notes for her pen-and-paper campaign, someone else really explores the edges of what can be proven scientifically, someone else offers supplementary knowledge that complements James’ own. They end up devising explosives for a variety of use cases, ignoring the odd glance from the tables around them, and James drinks too much.

When some of them exchange numbers at the end of the evening, he discovers Mark has left them half an hour ago. And though he thoroughly enjoyed himself, is left buzzing and beaming, full of enthusiasm, having made several new friends, it still feels a little like he missed out on something.

He’s just not sure what it was.

[everygame]

God of War (PS4)

Developed/Published by: Santa Monica Studio / Sony Interactive Entertainment Released: 20/04/2018 Completed: 06/08/2022 Completion: Finished it, doing only a smattering of side-quests and things. Trophies / Achievements: 32%

Well this is an interesting one to write up. Difficult, even! Because the best way I can describe God of War, sort, of, is that it’s a bit like one of those TV shows where people go “oh, it’s good, but it takes [X NUMBER OF EPISODES] for you to get into it” and you definitely think “aye, sack that, what, do I have infinite amounts of time?”

Except I’m probably really only talking about the narrative of the game when I say that (like it is exactly a TV show) because the actual playing of this game was, quite honestly, boring. 

Now, I might be being unfair here. There’s an argument to be made maybe I wouldn’t have found it quite as boring if I hadn’t recently slogged through what feels like so many triple-A/”worthy” titles recently–or really, that the few that I have slogged through have been so bloody long. And God of War isn’t even that long, so it feels especially unfair.

But that said… I’m not so sure. Yes, if I had been trapped in a cave for a few years, God of War would probably seem absolutely incredible (well, apart from all the times the main characters are in caves, which is a lot, and I’d probably hate that) but we don’t experience anything in a vacuum, and I think I’m just completely and utterly bored of “do a fight, do a climb, do a puzzle, do a cut-scene” done over and over shuffled into different orders.

The thing is though that God of War really does go out of its way to make this work, and I suppose the elephant in the room is that it does this by making Kratos… a sad dad [everyone boos].

Wait! Wait! I know, we’re all sick of it. We’re as sick of it as doing fights and climbs and puzzles and cut-scenes over and over! But while I wouldn’t exactly call this a “soft reboot” of the franchise, considering it does directly reference the big beats of the earlier games, by taking Kratos, giving him a son, and exploring that relationship… it really works.

I’m genuinely surprised to be saying this, but the father and son interactions of Kratos and Atreus… are good? They’re full of genuine pathos as you watch the two characters struggling with grief in their own ways. They interact constantly, no matter what boring thing you, the player, have to be doing, and the relationship became genuinely meaningful to me. It’s a pretty stunning reversal for the series, to be honest, considering that the third God of War was more or less drivel. The tale of the two who are only trying to honour Atreus’s late mother’s wishes (yes, unfortunately the game does set off the “woman dies so man/men can learn a lesson” klaxon) is so small in its way it’s refreshing, even if they do still end up doing what the God of War does, which is kill loads of enemies, fight gods, etc.

But as good Kratos’ relationship with Atreus is, and the story overall, to be honest, it doesn’t rescue a game that feels… well, pretty annoying otherwise. I mean, it starts with the controls, which heavily use the triggers (annoying) but if you change that to “classic” throwing your axe while aiming is a face button which threw me completely. It’s definitely one of those quibbles where you might be like “who cares?” but the inability to make melee be on face buttons and aiming/firing be on the triggers meant I never got comfortable (I just gave up and stayed on the triggers, throwing the axe fast enough for some challenges was impossible for me otherwise.)

It’s weird too, because the gameplay unfolds itself at a glacial pace at first, which rather than easing any player actually just makes the beginning really boring. And unfortunately, it’s not like as it opens up it gets much better. The upgrade trees are horrible, seeming to be entirely made of side-grades that I rarely used, and even the ones that you want to be useful (like being able to hit multiple targets with the axe in one throw) turn out to be barely helpful at all–or even unhelpful. If you’re fighting an armored ancient, you basically have to not use multi-targeting to ever hit their exposed heart. Or I did, anyway. Annoying!

I just didn’t like this as a game like… at all. I mostly put up with it to see the story through, which I enjoyed a lot. Which puts me in an interesting position…

Will I ever play it again? …Because I’m very interested to see where this story goes in Ragnarok but I also can’t be arsed to play it. I suppose if there’s some amazing accessibility options that stop me from ever having to push a block ever again (although actually I’m dog sick of climbing as well now). But maybe it’ll be the first game I ever actually sit down and watch someone play, like on stream? Because you lose a lot of story if you only watch the cut-scenes. 

Final Thought: Actually, watching some idiot play a video game sounds even more annoying than playing this was. Forget it then. 

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[wiltking]

my thoughts on C. S. Pacat's newest book Dark Rise under the cut, as well as a few other LGBT books I've read recently including a lesson in thorns, the stone in the skull, and the gods of tango. CWs are included at the end.

Dark Rise by C. S. Pacat - M/M Dark Fantasy YA (+ M/F) ★★★★☆

The ancient world of magic is no more. Only the Stewards remain to remember the great battles of Light and Dark, sworn to protect humanity if the Dark King ever returns. But as the King's presence begins to stir in London, sixteen-year-old Will learns of his destiny to fight alongside the Stewards in the oncoming war against the Dark.

The return of the queen. It's no secret that the Captive Prince trilogy remains one of my top favorite works of M/M fiction, so of course when I saw Pacat was working on a new series I knew I had to read it as soon as it came out. There was quite a bit of trepidation on my part with this being a YA set in London--two of my least favorite things to read about--but I knew no matter what I had to experience her level of storytelling and romance again, because no one does it quite like Pacat. Now having read the book I do think it suffers from a few of the pitfalls of YA: stagnant passages that over-explain, jarring moments of childish actions in an otherwise mature world (I'm looking at you Elizabeth), and repetitive worldbuilding exposition. The first half of this book suffered the most for this. While there were a few outstanding scenes, I felt the first half to be a slog, and my interest was not fully captured. I struggled to stay invested. However, that all changed with chapter 20, and especially chapter 21. This is the moment when Dark Rise finally felt like a C. S. Pacat novel. Drama, intrigue, dialogue that grips you and stays with you, characters that feel alive and multi-faceted, plot twists that leave you dizzy--this is where the book fully drove itself into my heart and stayed there to the very last word. One of my favorite things about this book is how dark it got at times, which is great for a book called Dark Rise, but I was pleasantly surprised with the level of it considering this is a YA. Also, a lot of LGBT books marketed as 'dark' tend to fall into the trope of focusing on sexual assault as a way of making the story 'dark'. Captive Prince obviously did this, as well as many other books on this page. Dark Rise does not, and that really got me excited because dark fantasy is one of my favorite things to read about, but the aforementioned trope makes it really difficult to find books I can fully enjoy and love. Dark Rise manages to be dark without relying on sexual violence, and it does it very, very well. Without spoiling anything, I love the story Pacat has set up for us here, and I'm dying to know where she'll take us in the next books. The final pages were painfully divine and I struggle to guess what could possibly be in store, but I trust her vision. My only qualm is that I wish I could give this a five-star, but that first half really did not click with me. Here's hoping that the next book gets a release date soon!!

A Lesson In Thorns by Sierra Simone - M/F/M/F/F/M Polyam Erotica ★★★☆☆

An original fairy tale full of ancient mysteries, lantern-lit rituals, jealousy, money, murder, sacred torment, and obsessions that last for lifetimes... A Lesson in Thorns is the first of four books in the Thornchapel series. Ok, I don't normally read erotica for its own sake. Certainly not erotica featuring a six-person polycule. But there's more to this book than steamy celtic orgies and everyone being horny on main at all times. First, there's the mystery of the MC's missing mother. Where did she go? Why did she go? No one knows, but our MC is determined to find out. So she goes to the last known place her mother was known to have been - Thornchapel, a massive gothic estate owned by her childhood friend who she ceremoniously got married to when she was ten years old, along with one other boy, with their three mutual friends as witness. I can't say this was my book of the year. It required copious amounts of suspension of belief on my part, and I can't say I personally get any enjoyment out of BDSM scenes, of which this book has several. But I still liked the story, and most importantly, the characters. Even if some of the tropes present erred on the cusp of frustration, I wanted to see how these six individuals would inevitably connect. And connect they did, in a scene unlike anything I can say to have read before. With that said, I was particularly pleased with the emphasis on bisexuality present not only in the main character, but also the two men she's in love with, who are also complicatedly attracted to each other. Their love triangle (of sorts) was definitely my favorite part. I want to read more polyam books. Preferably ones that are a few degrees colder on the horny scale. But this was a decently fun read if you're looking for something casual, and at times, sexy with an air of feverish devotion.

The Stone in the Skull (The Lotus Kingdoms #1) by Elizabeth Bear - M/F Adult Fantasy with Trans Characters ★★☆☆☆

The Gage is a brass automaton created around the core of a human being. He is carrying a message from the most powerful sorcerer of Messaline across a dangerous mountain pass to the Rajni of the Lotus Kingdom. With him is The Dead Man, his friend and protector. This is technically a sequel series to the Eternal Sky trilogy, which I did not read.

I'd give this more of a 2.5, because I did love the first half. I've been struggling to find the passion to read lately, but I ate up the first half of The Stone in the Skull like it was nothing. I loved the opening scene, the strange world and even stranger characters, and the words Bear uses to weave her beautiful fantasy settings. But somewhere in the middle I found the dialogue taking jarring turns, the characters making strange decisions that hardly made sense, and worst of all I was hit with a devoted and loyal romance that bloomed from... first sight? I felt like everything I had so far learned about the characters was flipped on its head and natural character development and progression didn't matter. And I have to talk about the trans characters. At first, I was all about it. I loved Sayeh, the trans woman who makes good use of the fantasy setting to have a biological child. I loved the Godmade, whos androgynous presence inspires everyone around them to use neutral pronouns. It was great. I was interested. I was glad that these characters appeared to be more respectful renditions of trans characters compared to the sorry excuse for 'trans men' in The Tempering of Men. However, the supposed trans man in this story doesn't sit right with me, if he is even intended to be read as trans. But I don't know what else to do with the information that this big magical creature of a man, by his own words, 'used to be a woman'. If the explanation ended there, I would have accepted it. But apparently the only reason this character chose to become a big hulking man-creature was to... defeat a wizard? And there's no discussion of gender at any point, or if this character even identifies as male? It felt messy, and weird, and disrespectful considering the explicitly trans explanation given about Sayeh. A shame and a disappointment considering this character is one of the most interesting parts of the whole book. It feels like a missed opportunity. It feels wrong. It feels like Elizabeth Bear has never spoken to a trans person in her life. In general I wish this book had focused more on The Dead Man and the Gage, as their chapters were the most engaging to read. The chapters following both Rajni were interesting at first, but severely bogged down the story as it progressed. There are some very interesting ideas at play here, but the execution completely fell apart for reasons I don't understand.

The Gods Of Tango by carolina de robertis - Adult Historical Fiction with a Transmasc MC ★★★★★

In Buenos Aires in 1913, 17 year old Leda arrives alone to marry her cousin, only to find out that he's been killed. Alone on the brink of destitution, with no friends or family, and only her cherished violin to give her joy, Leda finds herself seduced by the Tango and disguises herself as a young man to join a troupe of musicians. First off, for a while I felt unsure labeling Dante/Leda as a trans man, only because it felt too good to be true. This book is too beautiful. Too well-crafted. Too well-intentioned. There's a lot of overlap in Dante's life with butch lesbian experiences, and the author herself is married to a woman. However, I related heavily to Dante's experiences navigating gender, navigating his sexuality, navigating himself. And the final nail on the coffin was reading Billy Tipton's name in the acknowledgements, a jazz musician who lived as a stealth trans man until the day he died. So I will be recommending this book as one with a trans male protagonist, and it is an incredible piece of work for that. The Gods of Tango is a wild ride. At times heartbreaking, exhilarating, rejuvenating, and at the end of it all, almost unbelievably so, incredibly hopeful. De Robertis crafts a story that gives a voice to those of us lost to history, rewritten, erased. It makes a place for us and fills it with so much music and love and life that I couldn't believe my eyes. When I finished it I sobbed like I haven't in half a decade. This is a respectful work of fiction that navigates the complexities of gender in a way that feels realistic to the time period while still striking true to experiences that are lived to this day.  And while it isn't a quick read, with some paragraphs stretching across several pages, it's a highly enjoyable one. I soaked up every word. I have never touched a violin in my life, but at times I felt like I was right there in Dante's shoes, under the stage lights, bow raised, alive with a desire to live my own life. No matter how difficult it is.

-

content warnings:

lesson in thorns: off-screen sexual violence that happened in the past, and is recounted briefly in text.

stone in the skull: suicidal Thoughts, transphobia, Big age gap

gods of tango: incest, offscreen csa, offscreen sexual assault, suicide, suicidal thoughts, outing

[full list of reviews]

[o-bella-cia0]

Hey, so I'm planning to start learning French. And by learning I mean in application sense (I've been studying the textbook version of it since years now). I was thinking to start reading French novels. Since you too are reading a new language novel, could you give me some tips for the same ?

Hi, thank you so much for the ask!!

Here are some tips that I can think of regarding reading books in your target language, but I may not be the best source since the book that I've started is literally like, the first full novel in Korean that I've ever tried reading and I'm about 30 pages in. Hope these help:

Try to pick a book that is a bit below your reading level in your first language; depending on your level, I'd recommend books for elementary/middle school level to start out with, and slowly make your way up. (I totally failed this step and picked a book for adults, which means that it takes me quite a while to get through just one page...)

But in that case, don't get demotivated if your reading speed is super slow at first. It can feel like a slog, taking an hour just to get through a few pages, but it will speed up over time. By the time you've read 1, 10, 30 novels in your target language, you'll be flying through them! (I say this like I have experience ㅠㅠ I hope this advice is correct!)

Also, try and pick books that you have already read before in your native language and really like so that you are already familiar with the content. This will help with using context clues and recognizing vocab without having to stop and look it up.

When you come across words that you think are useful/something you would like to start working into your everyday speech writing, save the words and study them like any other vocab, of course. Ideally, you'd want to save every single word you don't know and study them, but that's unrealistic for me so I don't do it haha. (Be sure to be conscious about how/why these words were used, if they're more commonly used in speech vs writing, time period of writing, etc.)

Try and see if you can use context clues to guess the meaning of a word/sentence before looking up, but there's no shame in having to search stuff up! Sometimes I have to plug whole sentences into google translate just to know what's going on, and then have my "oh, duh" moment. Don't worry about completely understanding everything, but if a word or phrase keeps popping up, make sure you know what it means.

If you really want to check your understanding, you can try writing a short summary of the chapter you just read using the new vocab you learned (but I def don't have time to bother with this haha). The easier option would be chatting with your friends in your target language about what you've read!

Maybe try and look for the audiobook version as well so you can get some extra listening practice.

and have fun!!! <3

Of course, reading novels in French is likely a different experience than Korean, because at least for me, diving right into a full Korean novel has been quite difficult for me and a bit of a shock. For you, French novels may be easier than what I experienced, but hopefully at least some of these apply to you. Hope this helped!!

[kim-bobbae]

90. “You can tell me anything.”

Work has been somewhat a nightmare and I just felt like writing about some Jay lovin’...though if he’d look at me like that I’d just burst into tears right away sigh TT

How do I go home and rant to my boyfriend, Jay Park, about my boss – Jay Park? 

You had honestly imagine working with your boyfriend to be the best thing ever, especially so when he was essentially the busiest man alive, and working with him meant that you could see him every day despite his inhumane schedules – the occasional coffee runs before work and the little glances that he sneaked at you whenever he came in and out of the office? Cute, you loved it. 

But while you did get to spend almost every waking hour with him, that was the very reason why it made work extra hard – he made his never ending pile of work look so easy and it honestly did nothing to make you feel better about your job, more so when the music video you were working on was due for its final review tomorrow and you were not the least bit satisfied with the outcome after working on it for three consecutive nights. 

“Hey,” You said, flashing him a small smile as the both of you exchanged glances via the reflection on your monitor. 

“How’s it going?” He asked, giving your shoulders a massage. 

“It’s still work in progress I guess…” You shrugged, weariness evident in the tone of your voice to which he picked up almost immediately. 

“Is everything okay?” He asked, pulling over a chair from the desk next to yours, then turned your chair to face him. 

“Yeah, it’s just been a really long day…” 

It was two in the morning, the rest of the employees long gone. You had spent the entire day working on the music video and had completely lost track of time as you played it back over and over again, going back and forth between several transitioning effects and finding it difficult to come to a decision. 

He remained silent, studying your face carefully – from your slumped posture to your sleepy eyes, he knew something was up but instead of asking once more, he merely held both your hands, furrowing his brows he waited for you to speak again. 

“…can I please get a hug?” You whispered. 

“Of course,” He hummed, then gestured for you to sit on his lap before he wrapped his arms around your frame, bringing your fingers to his lips as he kissed them gently. “What’s wrong?” 

“I’ve been working on this for nights and no matter how many times I watch it, I just can’t seem to figure out what’s lacking,” You explained. “The review is tomorrow and this is driving me nuts…” 

He wordlessly reached for your mouse, playing the draft you had completed thus far and for a while he just stayed like that, watching with a careful eye while his other hand kept his hold on you. With the way he remained silent throughout and his attention completely fixated on the screen, four minutes felt like forever as you chewed nervously on your lips, your eyes darting back and forth as you looked for the slightest hint of reaction other than the bobbing of his head towards the beat. 

A smug smile played on his lips as the video came to an end, and you could’ve sworn your heart was about to fall out of your chest as you waited for him to speak. 

“I don’t get what you’re stressing about,” He stated as a matter of fact. “That was dope.” 

“You’re lying.” 

“No I’m not, why would I?” 

You sighed, getting off his lap and sitting back down in your chair as you stared at the screen and scrolled aimlessly through the video once more. 

“Baby, what’s going on?” He asked, confused at the way you were reacting to his compliments. 

You ran your fingers through your hair, “I’m not tryna flex or anything...but that’s what everyone says and at this point I feel like everyone’s just flattering me cos I’m your…” 

“You’re my…?” 

“…never mind.” 

He scooted closer to you, hands on yours to stop you from working and looked at you with a face full of worry, “You can tell me anything.” 

“…cos I’m your girlfriend,” You told him, looking down at your lap. 

“And what’s wrong with that?” 

“I feel like everyone’s telling me that I’m doing a good job just cos I’m dating their boss,” You explained. “This video doesn’t even feel complete…how in the world is this ‘great’?” 

You weren’t sure if this was you putting all this unnecessary pressure on yourself because you were surrounded by so many talented creatives in H1GHR’s graphic team, but with the way the several music videos you’ve directed for Jay over the years have been consistently blowing up, the bar was set high the moment Jay signed you to direct his team. You’ve been working independently for several years with the intention of making a name for yourself before joining a label and Jay completely understood that, giving you all the time and space you needed to develop your craft but with how he hyped you up (you know, typical Jay) and assigned their latest and biggest project, the compilation album, under your direction the moment you entered, the pressure was no doubt eating you up. 

“We don’t have to worry if you’re the one directing the music videos.” 

“This project is gonna blow up now that you’re in charge. The edits in your latest work were sick!” 

Sure, you appreciated the fact that they thought so highly of you, but all these expectations were inevitably sending you into an endless cycle of self-doubt. 

For a while he simply stared at you, confused. He watched the way tears were beginning to well up in your eyes as you clicked on your mouse frantically, applying filters and effects before undoing them again. This went on for a good minute and it was when frustration became evident from the way you tapped loudly on the control + z keys did he make an attempt at stopping you.

“Hey-” 

“You’re so good at what you do – you do ten thousand meetings a day while releasing songs, doing photo shoots, interviews and even working out – you make work look so easy and I feel like everyone associates my work to yours and…its stressing me out,” You said, then sighed as pushed your mouse aside and buried your face in your hands. “I don’t want to disappoint them…” 

“Baby, look at me,” He said, placing one of his hands on your lap. 

“I can’t,” You whispered against the palm of your hands. 

He let out a deep breath, peeling your hands off your face before he cupped your cheeks and brushed away your tears with his thumb, “You’re doing great, and I’m not saying this just because you’re my girlfriend and I love you to death – you know how honest I am with my comments when it comes to work.” 

“For real..?” You rasped, looking down at your lap to avoid his gaze. 

“Of course,” He reassured you. “Now stop putting yourself down for absolutely no reason at all cos I’m proud of you and your work.” 

“…I’m being stupid now, aren’t I? For being whiny and a crybaby…?” 

“And for complaining that your boyfriend’s too awesome? A little,” He joked, finally eliciting a giggle from you. 

Nevertheless, he pulled you in for a hug, dotting a kiss on your forehead. 

“Now let’s go home shall we? You’ve been staying up at the office for a few nights and it kinda sucks going to bed alone knowing you’re in the office slogging your ass off for my music video.” 

“Alright boss,” You snickered, knowing very well he hated it when you addressed him like that and he rolled his eyes at you, saving your work once more before dragging you out of the office.