#and for my survival tmrw
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na co mi to było kurwa XDD
#writing is not writing#the situation is histerical (i have barely anything written and i need umm like 10 pages)#this is BAD bad#like i literaly have hours to write this and it's going terribly#the chances of me crying during tmrw's class with my supervisor are Very High#like if he asks me why i have so little written and why it's shit i WILL cry#i've been having such a weird and difficult time for no reason for the past week i don't understand why im struggling but i am#and the worst thing is that i have everything prepared i have texts i have notes and yet i can't write.#and i just know he will NOT be understanding lol#pray for me please#and for my survival tmrw#neg#agnes talking#edit: went to complain to my mom and she was like 'well worst case scenario he will be mean to you. which won't be much different from usual#alsnxhakjxjf AND SHE'S RIGHT
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today i had no power in my building so i went ransacking through all my art supplies and found my stash of sculpting clay. here's my boy!!!!!!!
this photo is cringe af but i really want to show my boy with his 8 CHA ahh expression (this was still a wip)
#oc: vulture#why is it so hard to take a normal freaking picture of the clay bust#honest to god i made around 30 photos and only the 2 survived#i'll try again tmrw but the sculpture itself turned out pretty good imo!#my art#sculpture#clay art#fallout new vegas#fallout oc#courier six
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Um.
Uh oh. Oh. Oh no—
Can you tell I'm enjoying Persona so far sakjdsgfdhgfhgj
#Lost In Space; [OOC]#Kritter Crumbs; [MUN ART]#More Than Survive; [TARO]#Yeah so i'm deep in the sauce#I give up on coloring for the night we'll fiddle with these tmrw some more but like#Yeah uh green pencil case guy is getting proper portraits#bc I muse him and I'm unhinged#ty Mishima for acting as my starter base I wouldn't have gotten this far without u
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i forgot to bring my apple pen to work
#WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW??#WORK???#personal#its my last day and tmrw ill be officially jobless..#i just gotta survive..
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went to another long night of museums thing and as always I had to go paint
behold, the fruits of my labor
#sadly it got some black stains on the red during drying :')#but it's okay ill survive#i might be able to fix it tmrw#also dont ask me what this is about bc i dont know either. just vibes#random boli thoughts#my art
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I DROPPED MY PHONE NOW IT WON'T TURN ONNNNNN
#lay text#I HAVW THE WORST LUCK I STG#i have a protective phone case and EVERYTHING#gotta meet a friend tmrw morning at the mall too#but i'm terrible at waking up early w/o my phone alarm#and i should go there early so i can try to get it fixed cuz idk how i'm gonna find her otherwise and idk her number by heart grrrrr#hopefully it doesn't cost too much $$ and i won't need a new one. cuz my gawd i do not need more financial strain right now#i already need to get miss goldie neutered too#and i'm basically surviving off my credit card#my client will have more work for me later this month#but til then i gotta be careful ugh
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so sorry frens but i'm too tired to wrap up even one draft
⚰️ *slams*
#ooc#rp update#/delete later#{i more than survived today's plans but have plans tmrw; a show; and then that's got to be it}#{i'm starting to get cagey about not writing}#{i have personal projects and a contract}#{and...}#{*wrote all month*}#{ok fine i'm a borderline workaholic}#{now let me do my bidding}#{oh shit i forgot about dune}
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why does the blob exist if they're not gonna do anything with it. if we're GONNA completely fuck up the ending of ffps can we at least have some fun with it. i want a confrontation between them and michael where they're just like oh hey puppet boy how's it been since the last fire you and the old man fucked up
#my security breach verse philosophy is 'well if they're gonna let everything else survive the fire i might as well let michael be there too'#i think it would be funny#hey puppet boy. flesh suit. meat encasing. body costume. etc.#⁂ ・゚: i was looking for a job‚ and then i found a job‚ and heaven knows i’m miserable now ➛ ooc#have thoughts too eepy to do anything about them. that and i'm getting up earlier than usual to hang out with friends tmrw
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i sincerely wish i could go 24 hours without bleeding
#i need to see the doctor i know. i just have flashbacks to last time where i told my obgyn i was bleeding too much#and she brushed me off#but now i’ve basically been bleeding for 3 weeks? so. u can’t tell me that’s fucking normal with this iud#anyway. i want to fall into a black hole and never return#<- that’s a lie i just wish i didn’t have work in 7 hrs#i must survive until the weekend. tmrw will be stressful but i’ll survive#save me ***** anons… ****** anons save me…#tw periods#cw periods#tbd
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genuinely forget I have people who follow me on this account and that I'm not just screaming into the void
#lmao#ANYWAYS had a very irritating experience trying to shift last night#because I get SO close and then it feels like I hit a wall and my subconscious goes#'no actually we're not doing that. it's over.'#LIKE FUCK YOU GIRL#my subconscious is 100% the thing stopping me and sometimes I REALLY don't like her#I was also stressed and overly tired so that was contributing lmao#but my day was?? not great tbh#but I lived#and tmrw probably won't be too fantastic either#but!!#we're surviving!!#also I have been isolating and destroying all of my relationships because#hehe girly things!!#jk I have severe issues that I refuse to go to therapy for <333#it's like-#i SEE messages#and I WANT to respond#but I physically can't#it's like I run outta spoons
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im going full whiny baby mode dw abt it
i should go to bed but today has sucked so much and i dont even have my phone w me so i can listen to youtube til i fall asleep i spent like 6 hours total on commuting today alone and almost/kinda did have a meltdown at rehearsal and completely exhausted myself and BECAUSE of the miserable long ass delayed commutes i didnt get to get gerards comic on release. Im just exhausted which u think would make me want to sleep but all i wanna do is watch youtube and wind down but its alread 12:30 and i shld sleeeeep aubhghhhhhhhhhh
#barry.txt#fully just bitching and moaning bc everyones asleep on discord#my life has been big changes bracketed by a buildup of petty little annoyances lately#ill survive i just feel shit#at least me n mira are going out to grab the comic tmrw on her way to her moms
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sometimes you really have to fight a part of your brain that tells you to self isolate. and it sucks!
#op#blehhhh#just kinda wish i could hide away and do nothing for a while rn#going apple picking this weekend with kenna and taylor though and i’m looking forward to that :]#that’s like. the only thing i have planned in the near future that doesn’t feel like a chore#i wish it was easier to do things#wish my friends lived closer too#feel like all i have is work and classes and work and classes#classes are online so i go to the library to do stuff#and i love being at the library but i do very much feel like i’m in a cycle rn#it’s not like i have money to do much anyway shdkssk#sometimes it feels like everything is a chore and i hate that#hate mental illness and fatigue and everything wrong with me#sometimes i feel like most of what i am is just bad and burdensome yk#wish i could stay home tmrw and nap atp but i also know that wouldn’t actually make me feel any better#so. i survive
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i've literally been non stop studyinf for a week i can physically feel my entire body shutting down. im not making it out of this fr
#4 exams this week 2 exams in one day tmrw. jm literally about todie#ive been like full body shaking for the past few hrs but the grind never stops. i gotta finish this#the way I've been studying for just this one exam 24/7 for 3 full days now and im still not close to done#i usually pull all nighters before exams but i dont think i can do that here coz like. my body is legit going to give out#not posting this to get advice or anything i know this is bad and i should sleep it's just a life update#life update: bad👍 but i'll survive#probably the worst ive ever felt while studying tho. what i get for exammaxxing#we get ~2 months to take our exams and im taking all of them in less than 2 weeks instead coz i#want my summer to be completely free. so I'll pay the price now but it's gonna be sooo worth it. god. please#barking
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and now i'll very quietly leave....... dies halfway
#I CAN'T SURVIVE W/O U ALL SOBS AND CRIES :c#BUT I SHALL STAY STRONG!!!!!!! THE PINK WILL PROTECT ME 😌😌#plus everyday i'll get to scream bedehop at my friends so it's ok <3#so! byebye guys see u....... on tuesday? maybe even tmrw if i'm lucky but only god knows :')
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UMMMM i have been asked to transcribe a 2h 37mins long audio
in one day
as a generally slow transcriptionist
and i have a doc appt too that's like 50mins away
i just..... how........
edit: pls stop suggesting AI to me thanks 👍 it is not a magic wand and as someone who had clients insist on me using it and tried it many times, it actually often makes the job harder in the end, having to constantly pick up after AI mistakes and making formatting an even more hellish job. i'd rather pick my og hell thanks.
#lay text#i am Stressed#how will i survive this fr#i told my boss/client i might need til tmrw afternoon#but even then idk. idk gyns. maybee i shall die
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dressing fem is so fun and awesome but also so stressful bc like ...I know what I'm going for... but nobody else does... like im not wearing this bc im a girl im wearing this bc im A FAGGOT.....
#broooo my wired earbuds started doing the thing where they only work at a specific angle and now only the right one works..:#anyways goodnight to all rhe people in the world..i have to go socialize tmrw very scary need lots of sleep if im gonna survive
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