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chemicallady · 11 months

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Heyyy, would you possibly be able to do a Noah Sebastian story that is like a brothers best friend dynamic? I live eat and breathe this stuff lol

I WANNA FEEL LOVE AGAIN

Couple: Noah Sebastian x Fem!Reader

Content Warning: slight mention of sexual intercorse. Nothing too deep, I'm saving it for next Chapters

Summary: you're a real mess, your life is turning into a living hell, so your brother Matt convinces you to move in with him in LA and start working for the band he's taking care of

A/N: I dont wanna spoil to much in here, because... Well, you' ll see. English is not my native language and no one peer review this ff. It's gonna be a world of fun, I already know it!

Important! I don't know Noah or Matt or any of the real people portrayed un this story. This is fictional!

Enjoy then 😏

Ouch, I've lost myself again

You've always been around, unseen. Having a brother like Matt could be a blessing and a nightmare in equal parts. You were feeded with stories about gigs and musicians while grow up with your older brother, who is dear to you in a way that actually you cant explain. Matt as always been your twin flame even if you are younger than him. You grew up looking at him with a lot of respect and it broke your heart when he left Texas, moving to California. At the time you werent ready for the big change and your brother's friend were still a bit mysterious to you.

You were used to spend as much time as possible in his company, but with this fresh start for him, you just fell into the ordinary. Nothing against your life, by the way; your parents always supporting, best friends ready to drive you to the closer pub and deliver the best night possible, a lovely boyfriend who adored you in any meaning.

You loved the shit out of Shawn. He was your person, the one always there when you were in need. Your high school sweetheart. Maybe he wasnt your first kiss or your first fuck but he was the one who made you feel like it was worthy, living for someone else. The one who pushed you to improve yourself for your own sake, that helped you in finding a job for the local tattoo shop as a piercer when the school was over.

You did everything in your power to be the best girlfriend possible. You decoreted your shared flat in the warmest way possible. You turned down a good scholarship for that college in Montana, pissing your parents and brother for this lost opportunity. You gave up to your dream to be a writer because he had to stay in Texas and take care of his mom. You helped him through the loss, when she die.

But it wasn't enough.

You loved the shit out of Shawn and he loved you in return, but it wasn't enough.

Your relationship suffered a slow, agonizing death with multiple attempt of reanimation. Vacations togheter, a bigger flat, a cat.

Nothing compensate the distance between the two of you and he was the one brave enough to call it for a quit. You knew was gonna happen but it didn't hurt you less. Moving back to your parents, while quitting your job just to avoid to meet him everyday, took you to the bottom. Then the shutdown decided to kick you while you were already down, spending days in bed just listen music or watching anime whitout any chance to go out with your friends or for just a walk.

Everyone was really worried about you. You lose weight and that energy that always marked you.

And you stayed there, drowing in your own misery until Matt decided that enough was enough.

《 Pack your shit, you're moving in with me to LA. You're done making mom and pops that upset.》

The end of fall 2021 signed your rebirth. Matt found a bigger apartment for the two of you and Lucifurr, your vicious black cat which has an obsession in chewing cables and destroy everything paper made. You have always want to leave nearby the ocean and Malibu had a ton of opportunities to offer you. You started a yoga class the same week you moved, in order to make some new friends. Accoding to Matt, there are a lot of things to do around the band he is working with, Bad Omens.

You offer yourself as a merchgirl, but since you're a good writer an even better in tolerate people bullshit (you have to be karmatic, all the teens who came to get a piercing to the shop have always made a scene in front of needles), you could be perfect as a PR/assistant for the band. You remember them barely because someway somehow, these are the guys who steal all the time Matt has. Time that you never get.

You remember this four guys with long hair, basic metalheads, except for the drummer. You remember when you gave him the nostril after a show in 2015, maybe 16, and he took it like a champ whitout complaining. You remember the singer, this slenderman type of guy with beautiful long hair that looks like silk. You've never felt more envy of someone else hair like that. And also the other three guys were nice, especially Vincent. The only one who you can connect to a familiar face because you two got a nice conversation on tattoos when you visited Matt, three years ago.

They are nice.

You've heard stories about them at every phone call.

But still, thieves of precious moments that you want have again in your life again between you and your brother.

All the missing birthday, all the call postponed due to technical issues. He wasn't there to pick up your pieces when Shawn get a rid of you.

And Matt wasn't supposed to, but being selfish, you wish he was there.

But he is now and this is enough to bring the light back to your life. The long talks after dinner, movie nights, everything is back to the normal between you two since you moved and it's restoring.

With this wave of good mood, even if you havent forgotten Shawn yet, you enroll to gym, so you can work out after yoga.

And is in this specific place that you meet Eric.

The first time you caught him lurking at you you were running on the thremill.

There is something familiar in him but still, you dont know anyone in LA. You were the one who actually landed the first conctact with this new alien subject, so introvert to avoid your eyes.

《 Today is hot as hell, right?》

Talking about the weather is the easiest card to play. He smiled a bit shily to you before answering. 《 Don't tell me, I hate how hot is in here. Are you new? I've never seen you around》

《 I just moved in with my brother, actually. 》

《 You're a southie for sure. I like your accent.》

You giggle at his words, while he gets some confidence, passing a hand through this short hair. 《 you got me. You don't sound californian as well》.

《 Maybe because I'm not》. There was a moment in which he seemed to be doubtful, like he changed his mind and he didn't want actually to talk with you. He looked at you with a weird expression, like he realised something was off. 《 What's your name?》, he asked then, almost suspicious.

And then you lied. You rarely give your real name to strangers. A self defence mechanism for girls. 《 Vanessa. You?》

He looked more relaxed, 《 Eric.》

《 Nice to meet you Eric... Do you know a nice bar around? 》

《 Maybe I know a place 》 he reflected, smiling a bit malicious. He was definitely flirting. 《 Can offer you a beer or something? Just to welcome you in town.》

You are not ready for a new story yet, but after almost a year after you broke up with Shawn, you needed at least some human conctact. Eric was nice with you since the beginning. He invited you to this dive bar after the gym a couple of times, not far from your place. He paid for you a couple of cocktails while having a real nice Conversation. A superficial one, about the tattoos that covered him. About living in LA. You mentioned your brother a couple of times and he talked about his roomates and all the crazy things they have done during the pandemic.

He told you he is a Producer and you told him you're still unemployed.

One way or another, he got closer to you in a matter of days. And when he kissed you, you obliged and kiss him back. One thing leaded to another and the two of you ended fucking in the back of his SUV. And oh boy... you needed it so much. It was a quickie, but he seemed to be promising. His long fingers stimulated you untill you cried out for pleasure. His mounth divoured you inch by inch. And his cock....

He knew how to use it, let's say that.

After, he gave you his number and the two of you planned to see each other by the end of the week, at the gym, after your yoga class and his class of jujitsu....

The morning after you're fresh and relaxed like you weren't in months. Matt tends to be overprotective so you didn't told him about Eric while you were having breakfast. You need to know this guys deeply before accept that you know have a situationship. And your brother doesn't need to know about you screacting you itchies.

He has a hot temper when someone looks at his dear little sis.

After breakfast you got ready to meet the band again after almost three years.

《 I can't believe Vincent quitted. He was the nicest.》

Matt sighs while driving to the guys' house, mentally focused on the traffic. 《 youll see him when we'll be in Virginia, don't worry. 》

Your eyes slip on streets and houses, wards and parks but you still feel like You're in a new country. You don't know how much it will take to get used to California.

《 here we are》 , Matt says, parking. 《 let's refresh the rules.》

《 Oh c'mon, I'm not twelve anymore》

《 y/n 》

《 alright! I don't have to embarrass you while you're free to be mean on me. I don't have to embarrass myself talking shit just because I'm nervous and if the music sucks, I can't tell your precious Noah.》

《 You can do better but, more or less, that's it. Lets go. I need another coffe and maybe something sweet before start to film the music video. 》

It's so weird filming inside a house and not in a proper set but all this low budget bullshit are quite the normal for small bands, you think.

You have to be their assistant and eventually a PR- so Matt can stop to bitching on twitter all the time- and you know nothing about bands.

According to Matt, you're going to learn quick.

According to Matt. You know that he picked you up for the job so he can force you to write what he wants.

And continuing to bitch around through you.

The guitar player greets you at the door and introduces himself again as Jolly. The rest of the guys minus Noah are in the garage. It's marvelous how Orie, one of the guys who lives here, a director, reorganize the space with tubes and flashlight.

《 What's the name of the song, again? 》 you ask to Nick Folio, whos already youre favorite.

《 Artifical Suicide》 it's the answer, while he takes his place back behind the drums.

《So emo》 it's your honest observation that makes him laught. Matt looks at you in a way that if he could, you would be incinerated where you're standing. You're already embarrassing him.

Nice.

You regret nothing.

It's a lil sister job to make her brother in troubles, that's what pops always says.

Mike brings you a coffe that you accept with a smile, than tells everyone the news about the singer that is still not here.

A diva, of course. That's your first thought. Every singer is a natural diva.

《 He is still looking for the glove.》

《 He would lost his head if it wasn't attacked to his neck》 , a solid comment arrives from Ruffilo, immediatly followed by an annoyed reply from behind you.

《 I can ear you motherfucker. You are- what the fuck?》

You turn in time to face the famous singer and almost choke with the coffe.

《 Yo Noah, do you remember my sister, y/n?》

You see Noah turning pale for a second while trying to say something in return.

You're also speechless for a second, before putting your shit togheter so Matt wont finds out in the first five minutes. 《 Howdy! You... you cut your hair. Nice. I didn't know》

You didn't.

That's why was so easy for Noah to be Eric for almost a week. For a hook up with you. His best friend sister.

....Splendid.

You're fucked.

#noah sebastian #bad omens #noah sebastian x reader #noah sebastian imagine #bad omens imagine

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lovelyhan · 1 year

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hiii kai! for your ask game if you'd like to do (you know the member)

woozi + let's fall in love for the night by finneas

(perfectly okay if you don't write it lol 🤍)

anything for you freya beloved <33

⟣ let's fall in love for the night ⟢ wc: 0.9k words warnings: alcohol, one-sided pining, angst minors do not interact!

from this ask game~

for the sake of propriety, jihoon stands by the fact that he honestly didn't know.

before his best friend's girlfriend, jihoon knew you as a fellow producer he met during a conference he couldn't be bothered to attend if it weren't for the looming penalties. but boring details aside, at least he got to meet you.

jihoon grew up with nothing but praises being sung about his work since he'd picked up producing in his teens. he's used to hearing endless compliments about his music and none else.

so when you waltzed into his studio on a random tuesday just to tell him, "the percussions are off-beat. you could try a 4/4 tempo to match the melody instead," jihoon is rightfully mortified. because not only did you critique his work to his face, but the changes you suggested were the exact same things he's been considering over the course of his producing.

there's nothing else that pisses him off more than being told what to do with his own craft. but for some reason, when you're doing all the dictating, he doesn't really mind.

his tolerance turned into acquaintanceship, which eventually furthered into friendship. jihoon doesn't have a lot of people he can call friends, but if he finds it so easy to agree whenever you invite him out for drinks after a long day, he supposes he could spare you the title.

he doesn't know when the lines started to blur; when his feelings suddenly became indecipherable even to himself. jihoon has penned countless songs where he poured his heart into every word, but he can't even give a name to the warmth that settles in his chest every time you sit a bit too close to him in the studio.

it's a recurring problem he's been forcing down every time it threatened to reveal itself. you're his co-worker, for god's sake.

another reason why he shouldn't even think about vying for your affections comes in the form of kwon soonyoung—one of his closest friends from childhood.

one phone call saying that he's in town and wants to introduce you to his girlfriend is the reality check that jihoon direly needed, it seems. because when he walks into the sports bar that soonyoung set as tonight's rendezvous, he sees you wrapped around his best friend's arm like it's always been home.

you've been seeing each other for about six months now— even longer than jihoon as known you for.

part of him sulks because neither of you bothered to tell him. but then he remembers that soonyoung has been travelling across europe for a better part of the year, and you and jihoon aren't exactly close enough for you to tell him about your superstar boyfriend.

the night ends swiftly with little lapses in conversation. after all, it's soonyoung's god-given talent to ease everyone into having a good time.

the dregs of jealousy flicker like embers in jihoon's heart no matter how many times he attempts to go about the situation logically. so, despite having a few beers too many, he buys two bottles of soju before heading to the company for some late-night producing.

when he's halfway through the second bottle and is just about to call it quits, you descend upon him like an angel of death.

you take your usual seat beside him in front of his desk—on that spare swiveling seat that he definitely didn't buy because of how much you frequent his studio. for someone who was definitely more plastered than he was when you parted ways earlier, you're looking more sober than he is.

hell, you're already making straightforward comments about his newest mix—something that jihoon can't be bothered to take seriously because he's suffering through an oncoming headache and he can't stop staring at your pretty pink lips.

with little regard for the consequences, jihoon finally closes the distance he's been so careful to maintain between the two of you, lips melding together like he's always dreamed. the small sounds that escape you are muffled by his lips as he gives you kisses that only soonyoung has the right to give you.

but when you moan his name into his mouth—sighing so prettily for him, he can't be bothered to give a fuck about the fact that you're his best friend's girl.

he takes you on the same desk he swore to never use for anything else but work; his movements pointed and precise despite his state of inebriation. jihoon growls as your fingernails leave crescent moon indents on his back—panting and crying for him to give you more, more, more.

but no matter how blissed out he is, something's not quite right about how you feel around his throbbing length. he just can't put his finger on it. jihoon, of course, doesn't bother with the details. not when he finally has you wet and wanting for him.

not when you're openly proving that you want him just as badly as he wants you.

however, as he rasps out the words, "you're mine," right after spilling himself deep inside, he finally realizes what was amiss all this time.

when he wrenches his eyes open, he's painfully aware of the sticky and uncomfortable sensation in his sweats. the program on his computer screen stares back at him, as well as the soju bottles he hasn't even finished before dozing off.

there's no sign of you anywhere inside—nor is there any evidence that you were even here to begin with.

all that accompanies him on that lonely night in the studio is the shame that makes a home out of his chest and the fact that he should know better than to call you his.

except he doesn't.

notes: that song was so painful to listen to, but it's so good!! i think i've heard it a few times in passing though i just found out the title when you sent this in 😭 so really, thank you for that, and for giving me a chance to write jihoon for the first time!!! i hope you liked it <3

#seventeen smut #jihoon smut #woozi smut #jihoon angst #woozi angst #🎲 ask games #💭 request #📝 drabble #💘 freya #lovelyhan

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silliest-heartaches · 1 year

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I saw your Errorink headcanons

How do you think they would get along? (Because y'know, he destroys, he protects)

tbh aside from input from the creators that they would be canon friends (IN MY DREAMS) i have a lot of thoughts on why they would make great friends actually:

First of all, there is the idea that they have to make peace with the innevitability that regardless of what they do or how they feel about creation or destruction respectively, the balance will keep itself going purely because thats how creation and destruction of fanprojects irl work!! no amount of encouragemnt from ink or pestering from error are ever going to truly eradicate/permanently keep the growth of creations and aus in the multiverse!! I like to imagine its the same kind of silliness that good omens has (ie angel/demon being friends and maybe lovers just having the oppositr kinda jobs) except they both actually enjoy their jobs lol

I also like to think that the way they view the multiverse is not so black and white as they first may appear!! We already know that error DOES have aus that hes fond of and will not destroy bc he has a certain attachment to it, making us see that he isnt just some mindless killer who destroys for the sake of destroying (i forgot what his actual reason was aside from the anomaly stuff so in my head its bc all the multiverses mess with his code and overload his system which is why he hates anomalies sm ((including original ut funnily enough? Bc ig thats why his suffering happened in the first place (to me at least))) he is just selfish and wants everyone else to adjust to his comfort

For ink, he also views pretty much everything else aside from him as characters, and is thus not as connected to them as you may think. The reasons on why he protects these aus is kind of selfish (to refill his vials + the satisfaction of feeling like a real living being But More compared to other characters within their own universes) despite the good guy facade he tries to make himself have hes also inherrently selfish with his reasonings on why he wants to protect the aus in the first place

(i also wanna say that alongside all of what im saying ink genuinely does hold a lot of love for the aus and has a lot of fondness for certain characters aus etc, but it is very much in a fiction vs reality sorta way, bc thats how he views himself vs every one else)

except error. (well. sort of. but it kinda goes both ways. hes close enough)

tldr despite feeling that they are above it all and seperate from the aus and characters that they create (canon info for both i think) i think they can (and do) acknowlege that the world is bigger than them both despite those feelings and find themselves kindred spirits in the sense that their views and pov of the world is very similar on a base level and see eachother as equals because of it (something i dont really see personally with p much every other sans)

like yes other sanses and characters can be aware of and have beef with the multiverse in whatever way they can but none will ever be as innherently connected to the multiverse and what created them as much as error and ink do,,,bc to most everyone else, it is simply a part of their lives to move through aus with, comapred to errorink having the aus be their reason for existing and acting (the other guys drama being centered around different things much smaller in scale compared to error and inks whole deal being with the entire multiverse as it exists if im making sense)

also also theyre both described as immature and insecure so. i think they can have a lot of fun having childish banter thats cute and for the funsies (both dramatic jokey guys please hear me out)

#feysanity #sorry if i explained it badly 😭😭#whatever all u need to get is that i think opposites attract is neat #and the existentialism of their world being so incredibly vast but never being able to truly fully and completely comprehend it real #i like to think that they bond over the aus that they both do like #and also appreciate the calm emptiness that comes within the void as well :>#I like them so much if u cant tell and their relationship is so captivating to me #ITS HARD TO PUT INTO WORDS BC ITS REALLY COMPLICATED THOUGH 😭😭#thank you for asking though :>>#errorink

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golbrocklovely · 7 months

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i’m interest in allll the psychoanalyses on the guys if you wanna share 👀

i've answered asks like this before, where i kinda go into some detail about what i think on them, but i don't mind doing it again lol

but before i do, i just want to say that this is all just my assumptions about this. there is no definitive proof to what i'm saying, so take what i say with a grain of salt. they are real ppl at the end of the day, so i don't want to say too much or have you guys believing something that might not be true. this is just what i've noticed and what i think. but i also don't know them so…… you don't gotta listen to me.

so snc have a lot of overlap in some of their…quirks, so to speak. but i'm gonna try to just separate it into what i think about sam and what i think about colby. so if i end up repeating myself, you know why.

sam…. sam is an interesting cookie. see for years, this fandom (and me as well) have always thought that colby was the mysterious one, that he was the aloof one. and while he is in some regards, i feel like i can read him very easily at times. not to mention he ends up airing out a lot of things nonchalantly without even realizing it. but sam is an oddball. he almost never shows or tells so it's hard to really know what's going on in his head.

but that's the thing. i don't think even he truly knows.

i think both boys suffer with this, but sam especially: they want to be seen as a nice guy, the hero - so to speak. they never want to be seen in a negative light. and bc of that, they go out of their way to please everyone. and the thing is, you can't really do that. but sam does it differently than colby does. sam does this in his own personal life - he never wants to do the wrong thing, so he always tries to do what others deem as good or right. but i feel like he never gives it a second thought as to whether that's something he truly wants.

i know this will probably be a bit controversial, so no one try to come for me, but i fully believe that sam was never gonna marry kat. if for argument's sake colby didn't get sick last year and things would have worked out in their favor and sam and kat would have gotten engaged, i think they would have ended up calling it off or getting married but divorced not too long after. but it's not bc he didn't love kat, i just genuinely think he wasn't ready and probably won't be for a long time to get married.

sam has made it abundantly clear over the years that he doesn't want to grow up, that's he's scared of losing his youth, of getting older. and i think to him marriage was a sign that his youth is gone. that he no longer can be a boy, that he HAS to be a man. marriage is a lot of commitment, it's a huge step for a reason. and while i think he loved kat, i just don't think he ever wanted to get married. or he wanted to wait until he "had to" get married - when he finally felt like his youth was truly gone. but that's the thing, i think the only reason he was even considering it this past year was bc at that point in time, he had been with kat for 8 years, and enough ppl were telling him "hey, why aren't you two married yet?" and so i think he was literally just going thru the motions bc in his mind, getting married to her would be the right thing to do. bc otherwise…. you kinda look like an asshole for being with someone for this long, promising them marriage, but not fulfilling that promise in a timely fashion.

i think in the right circumstances he could have married kat, but she would have had to wait longer and that clearly just wasn't in the cards for them.

let's see, what else is there about sam lol

he's afraid of being alone. i think part of that is bc he doesn't know who he is as a person. he doesn't know what he wants, what he brings to the table, what stereotype he falls into, and bc he's unsure of who he is, he needs to rely on others to play off of. i think part of that is also being a middle child, but i don't know too much of that since i'm the baby of my entire family (like literally my entire last name ends with me as of right now). but he for sure has middle child syndrome. he wants to fit in so bad and be liked that he goes out of his way to do things that he doesn't even want in the end, and then ends up getting passive aggressive about it bc he doesn't know how to regulate his emotions. he relies on other ppl's words, other ppl's philosophies, to figure out who he is instead of just… listening to his own wants and needs and being upfront about them. and i think part of that issue stems from him being afraid to be seen as a "bad guy". bc hey, crazy concept here, sometimes the things we want are selfish and lack empathy towards others. that's just the reality we live in. and i think he does too much to try to circumnavigate that, but ends up just looking like a dick on accident.

he's also very much about self preservation and truly only respects like… himself, his dad, and colby. everyone else is second, if not last, to him in his mind. so that's why he doesn't take criticism well and just generally doesn't listen to anyone that isn't one of those three ppl lol

he's also a massive control freak with a bit of wet blanket personality. and i say that with all the love in the world…. as a massive control freak with a wet blanket personality myself.

there's probably other things i could say about him, but this is my general thoughts about him.

now… for colby. oh sweet baby colby sksksk

colby is the definition of a ppl pleaser. he wants to be loved and liked so badly by everyone, that he will literally turn himself into a floormat to do so. and i think part of that really comes from his lack of self esteem. idk who told him in his life that he was lesser than, or that he was weak and unworthy of love, but i would love to sucker punch that person. i think he has gotten better over the years, but i think there is a lot of shit deep down that he does not allow up. and a lot of this ppl pleaser energy can be seen with how he interacts with the fans. he does everything in his power to get back into our good graces when certain fans deem he isn't doing enough or did something wrong, even tho most times he hasn't.

like i said before, while colby likes to act like a mystery, he very much tells on himself without meaning to. idk if i've ever talked about this before, but i found old snapchats he made years ago, back when snc were doing the life project, and colby talked about "danger zones" and what these were were places/times when he would be left alone with his thoughts and would end up dwelling and spiraling into some negative things. he worded it in a slightly different way, but that's how he said it basically. and his whole thing to everyone else was figure out what your danger zones were and do your best to ignore those times/find ways get thru them quickly.

and the list for these was like… basically any time he was alone. and the solution to these things was just "try not to be alone". like one of them was when he was in shower, he apparently would start overthinking, and his solution was just to take faster showers.

now, respectfully, if you can't be alone with your own thoughts for as long as it takes you to take a shower……… i think something's wrong.

i'm not one to diagnose ppl. i'm no medical profession. there are just a lot of similarities to things he has said and things i once said before i got diagnosed with depression. i won't go into it, just bc again i don't want to lay that out there since it's none of our business anyway, i just truly hope i'm wrong.

more about colby… let's see….

also afraid to be alone/die alone. also afraid of getting older, but it doesn't seem as bad as sam's. i think part of that, weirdly, also comes from colby just being a more lighthearted person than sam sometimes. so i think colby will always be a bit more youthful even when he's older. a kid at heart, essentially.

colby's past relationship did him so wrong he is really holding himself back from finding happiness. i have a feeling that that relationship "proved" something to him in his mind and that's why he holds himself back from really putting himself out there again. and by prove, i mean, and you'll get this if you've ever felt terrible about yourself, you kinda have this idea in your head of who you are. for example, for years i always felt like i was ugly externally. i just wasn't attractive in my mind. and bc of that, i never tried to ask anyone out, bc i didn't want to be proven right. i didn't want someone to say "no i can't date you bc you're just not attractive to me". but i had that happen before the one or two times i tried, and all it did was validate my inner voice that kept telling me i was ugly. and i think in way, maybe something like that happened to colby. not that exact example, but something happened when that relationship ended that made him go like "i am right" to his deepest insecurities. that the shitty inner voice wasn't being mean, it was telling him the truth.

and i think part of that is that he fell for his ex really hard, came in a little too hot, and she just pulled back significantly. fell out of love for him. and i think that maybe that proved in his mind that he was too much, too unlovable. idk if this is true, but the way he only blames himself and never brings up any of her possible wrong doings (and mind you all of this happened to him when he was like 19 which would be the prime time to blame others lol) makes me think he feels he fucked up just by being himself too much.

and all of this has kinda lead him to do the whole "leave before you get left behind" thing with every past relationship since. it's why he hasn't tried to date seriously and only hooks up.

he has trust issues and abandonment issues, but weirdly has a terrible idea of who to trust. bc he continues to fall for those that love bomb him and say all the right shit, but then air out his dirty laundry (case in point being, shea).

there's probably a million other things i could say about each of the boys, but this is the general gist i have on them. again, none of this is confirmed. this is just my assumption so don't listen to me like i'm an expert. i'm just someone that observes shit and thinks i'm right most times lmao

#ask #personal

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chemicalbrew · 9 months

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2023 game list, part 1: I love complaining!

Once again continuing what has become an honorable tradition thanks to @smash-64 💜

I tried to promise myself I'd be more organized this year, trying to take notes after I beat things, making lists and gifs and everything, as it has become a consistent yearly undertaking. In truth, what happened is that I felt more overwhelmed by this than I did the last three years. The best explanation I can give is a combination of two facts: this year, while not particularly worse than what came before, still saw my confidence in myself tank a bit (i.e. What does this matter when few people read it and I don't bring much things of value to the table?)...

And the fact that I played very few games that really stuck with me, that I enjoyed enough to see through to the end and feel like that had merit, for a lot of the year. When that wasn't the case, it was more than likely I'd been on my nth playthrough of Katana ZERO of the year (more on that in a later post, hopefully).

I probably need help, don't I?..

games I played, but don't have much to say about at the moment without being prompted, aside from 'I kinda liked them, I guess', ordered best to worst:

Purrfect Apawcalypse trilogy (2019-2021) - series of VNs that's genuinely just good fun as you find yourself attached to the characters before you know it. You'll know if this one is for you at a glance. Also, this is how I found out about Panel Royale! LOL

The Witch's House MV (2018) - good old RPG Maker horror with a few decent twists. The remake has good QOL changes.

Gunbrella (2023) - the plot might be forgettable, but you get a gun that's an umbrella! What's not to enjoy?

Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest (1995) - I played this game, but only in the most technical sense. Literally cheated the fun out of it - either that, or this platformer style is not for me.

Coffee Talk: Episode 2 - Hibiscus & Butterfly (2023) - the most upsetting entry on the list. The writer behind the original game has passed away, and his absence is felt keenly even if you're not aware of the fact - because this sequel lacks charm.

Turnip Boy Commits Tax Evasion (2021) - yet another of those cheap and short indie 2D Zelda clones. The definition of the word meh.

Irisu Syndrome (2008) - a unique free puzzle timewaster. Tries to have a story and fails.

dishonorable mentions (the part with the most complaining)

2064: Read Only Memories (PC, 2014) [♪ Home (Not) Sweet Home]

Starts off decent enough, doing the bare minimum to string you along the mystery (which, for most people with standards, wouldn't even be good enough, but I was willing to stick with it for the sake of the neat audiovisual presentation).

As soon as the murder scene is revealed, however, the main plot starts to fall apart, and the longer you spend with the game's writing (which seems to go on and on forever) and characters (about as flat as a pancake fresh off the pan), the more bleak and yawn-inducing they seem (including Turing, who just took longer than everyone else to annoy me).

Do yourself a favor, play VA-11 Hall-A (which this game gratuitously references) instead. You'll get all the benefits of cute pixel art and upbeat soundtrack, but with an actually good story\character cast to match. I swear it says something about 2064 that one of its most exciting moments was seeing throwaway lines from a VA-11 character!

Ori and the Blind Forest: Definitive Edition (PC, 2015) [♪ Climbing the Ginso Tree]

This is a game that won awards back when it came out almost a decade ago. Unfortunately, it feels like it was made to win awards and little more. While the credits scrolling up the screen tried to convince otherwise - with the usual special thanks given to families and pets of the developers - I sat there, unsure of what I was supposed to take from this experience (once again, the less words you try to use to tell your story, the more it usually suffers!).

The heart of any platformer is its movement systems - and, while eventually Ori's tools open up just enough to make you feel at least a little free and alive in its world, they also never go beyond what is almost painfully typical. Double jump, wall climb, ground pound, glide, charged projectile? None of that is going to wow anyone. The way it comes together is not too pleasant, either - Ori's too floaty and the obstacles before him, while painted with a talented stroke, are too unclear in their presentation to make for truly fun traversal. The exception to this is the escape sequences - sure, a lot of the time they're not much less frustrating than the rest of the game, but they're definitely more memorable, to the point where the accompaniment to one was the only part of the soundtrack I could think to showcase.

I don't regret the time I spent on this, per se, but what I can tell you is that it probably didn't deserve the awards. Also, the way the wall jump worked was annoying! Pushing towards the wall to do it feels very counter-intuitive, and with this I found that I much prefer when games have you face away from the wall to register wall jumps, or do not require you to press a direction at all.

Celeste (PC, 2018) [♪ Checking In] + Celeste Classic (2015, played as part of full game) :)

I was in high school when this made waves. I pointedly feigned disinterest as it splashed all over the internet, while making sure to download the soundtrack quickly and listen to it - more than occasionally - over the next three or so years. Lena Raine's work carried me through my school years and empowered me, and all the while I hadn't a clue what playing the game is actually like.

Those were the better days.

Now, the things about this game that seem to appeal the most to a lot of people are how refreshingly simple Madeline's moveset is and how much the game respects your time with death transitions and reloading, and the story it tells through heartfelt cutscenes and gameplay working in sync. To which I boldly say... none of those things are good enough.

Having to climb and manage your stamina adds another layer to navigating the rooms, sure, but to my simple ass, that's one layer too many. To the game's credit, there's a setting to make climbing toggleable instead of requiring you to hold down the trigger, and using that was the only reason I managed to push past the hotel and Oshiro (call me a scrub, it was genuinely overwhelming otherwise), but it still did nothing to change how I feel about this mechanic fundamentally.

I get it, it adds precision and verticality to your movement, and, seeing as you're literally supposed to be scaling a mountain, it's more than a natural inclusion... but its existence did nothing but add pressure for me, somehow. I would frequently forget it's an option at all before realizing the room in question expects me to utilize it. Instead of feeling like climbing expands my options, I felt constricted and awkward.

My second issue is much simpler. I'm a spoiled brat, and Celeste's respawning process involving that annoying whoosh sound effect and a transition that, yes, takes only about a second, but is still not quite instant, was not good enough. I recognize that having it be truly instant would not be ideal, either, but I can't help but wish that was the case.

As for the story... It underwhelmed me even back when I was doing surface level research at the time of release, and it's not impressing me now. It's okay, and I recognize why it would resonate with people - the themes of self-acceptance and resolve are plain to see (and just as plain to mull over). But in my time with the game, Madeline never began feeling less like an avatar for my failures and more like an actual character, never changed into someone I would truly like.

By the time I reached the Mirror Temple, I was certain that this game, in most respects, is just not what I would ever want. I pushed towards the summit anyway, and left it feeling profoundly... nothing.

However... Celeste Classic did not have any of those things! That little prototype gem of a game wastes zero time trying to set the stage and make you feel things with ~a story~, doesn't give you any opportunity to climb whatsoever, and neither does it waste your time having the screen fade to black when you die! And these three things, I reckon, are key to why this smaller version, that's supposed to just be treated as an Easter egg now, a relic of the past, and to be forgotten in favor of the project it grew into... resonated with me so much more! I beat it twice! It's lovely! It's what I actually needed Celeste to be!

IT'S COMPLICATED

AI: The Somnium Files (PC, 2019) [♪ MonzAI] + AI:TSF - Nirvana Initiative (PC, 2022) [♪ Nefarious Institute 1]

You know how they say not to judge the book by its cover? This is a story of me learning (once again) to judge a game neither by its reception nor by the credentials behind it. When I plowed through this duology, I came to understand that sometimes, lightning might strike just the once.

Of course, most of my bitter feelings about it stem from just how miraculous of a fuck-up Nirvana Initiative ended up being as a sequel (it's impressive how much it had to twist everything its predecessor stood for to even have a chance at making a mediocre point!), but a lot of the disappointment came from the way the first game carries itself in general, and maybe even from the presence this game has among fans. 'Oh, if you want more of the magic and mystery that you so enjoyed in Zero Escape, you have to try this! It'll be just as good!'

I should have had my doubts from the start, given how little I had enjoyed the ZE series after 999. AI1 flounders in many things, like its obtuse, deeply unfun gameplay loop - most of which is pressing random buttons until you see the most ridiculous shit present itself. There's also the overt reliance on stale and perverse jokes, and a story that can barely do much except trudge to the finish line and attempt to convince you the journey was worth it with a trite dance number, of all things.

But the thing is… even with all that, the first entry was somewhat compelling during its runtime, though most of that comes from its bold novelty. The idea of taking advantage of the surreality of dreams to find deeply concealed truths is fun to occasionally ponder, and there's just enough fluff to the places you visit and things you do to string you along for the ride (though having to check the same spots for flavor text on each revisit to very little results is a deep annoyance I have with both entries). The characters actually got a chance to grow (if not by much… this series' urge to be immature at every turn is nothing short of ruinous, sometimes), and their designs strike a wonderful line between outstanding and cringeworthy that makes them just… stick out in your brain, you know?

So while I thought the song and dance (both the literal and the metaphorical) were ultimately not worth much, I was still convinced, fooled by the magic just enough to see things come to an end; and the resolution itself was satisfying and believable, if nothing else. And with how exhausted I felt reaching this point, I figured that'd be enough.

To me, AI1 is all about finding shards of diamonds in the rough, and it doesn't surprise me in the slightest that its fandom runs away with what little they have to try and improve on it (and often succeed). As such, you'd expect its sequel to take advantage of how much room there is to grow, capitalize on this chance to refine things, and use the few strong themes the original presented (value of bonds and family made both by blood and by choice, finding those you can rely on to carry what you have done forward, etc)... right?

Um, yeah, turns out it twists over itself even more than I'd already thought possible in order to make sense (not to mention seemingly forsaking most of that mess right at the true end in order to approach the established universe from a contrived meta angle). If AI1 can be described as having extremely unrefined gameplay coupled with a decently intriguing story, NI is just about the opposite of that.

While I'm glad they bothered to make exploring the dream worlds enjoyable this go around, there's no way in hell that makes it worthwhile to bear witness to the innumerable ways in which this mess of a sequel sullied the already weak foundations laid down by its predecessor. When I had finished that game, I wrote, on impulse, that 'I haven't been this confounded by a sequel's existence since Chrono Cross'. It just… did not need to happen, like, at all.

Nirvana Initiative posed to me one of the worst questions you can have while playing a game, which is…

'Why am I doing this, again?'

Let's be real, it was mostly for the soundtrack. Unlike AI1, this game had passable music! Though having to watch ANOTHER dance number (like half a dozen times, actually! and no, there's no skip button!) just about had me gagging.

That's not even the worst part about that sequence, no - that would have to be the way it almost actively ruins and undermines what's probably the only passable character arc in NI (and even then, you have to squint hard for it to pass your judgement, given how it starts... gotta hand it to this game for managing to have multiple relationships with genuinely questionable setups involving uncomfortable age gaps).

I wanted to feel touched by the new, somewhat expanded narratives, I wanted to see the world grow a little, despite all the grievances I was certain I would have... But not even halfway through the plot, I realized that my true wish was to just move on. I think that's what I'll do here, as well, as even reminiscing on this chaos is quite dreadful.

Xenoblade Chronicles 3 (Switch, 2022) [♪ Agnus Colony]

Don't become prey and victim to your own expectations - or to bad advertising.

Xenoblade is a special series, full of wonder and power. Words fail me this year, as they did the year before, when it comes to describing how much of an impact these games - the second entry most of all, a game I think about now and then with a bittersweetness on my heart that I oddly never can get enough of - had had on my mental well-being last year. They might as well have saved me back then, and while getting to experience them was something I'd been planning to do for a while, the specific circumstances it all had happened under were just so special, so exceptional, so wild, that it's hard to think of those days as anything but a gift.

And yet, there are plenty of things in this particular journey I still have to reconcile with. I never settled on what my impression of 1 is, in the end (or, some might say, I never properly played it); I could use a fresher look at 2, and… I never, ever, will finish Xenoblade Chronicles 3. It's a game I once had hopes for, but nowadays don't ever want to think about.

I thought it a privilege, of sorts - the fact that I was there to witness (and acquire) a brand-new release in a series that became dearly important to me. I ended up hearing many things - the trailers, the rumors, the leaks. They all spoke of a definitive resolution to the series, of levels of refinement never seen before, of intrigue so big you can barely take it, of key character appearances we were all dying to see.

Turns out most of what we were so eagerly expecting came with an extra price tag.

The base game of Xenoblade 3 is a mirage, a mere shade of what came before it. The environments are open and vast, but they look more drab than ever - and with the new autowalk feature, it takes even less time to get sick of it. The music takes you on a journey, but you forget what it sounds like far sooner than you'd prefer. The battle system promises lots of options and a nice learning curve, but it only overextends, overwhelms and forces you to grind. The cutscenes look every bit the part of a Xenoblade story, but meander and stretch things out to the point of boredom, which means none of the characters get enough time to grow on the player, either… Though a lot of them would probably go nowhere even given all the time in the world.

And the setting as a whole? Well, it's a simulation, so who cares about it feeling unique or fun? That's the point, the game says, you're supposed to empathize with these characters breaking out of their bonds, out of this miserable existence! Well, I say that things can be made appealing even in decay. You don't have to actively worsen things to make a point.

Future Redeemed is an impressive demonstration of how things could have been. It fixes practically every point where the base game falters - and it is in this part of the game where all those promises that once seemed hollow finally come true. Sort of. The exploration process is smooth as butter in the way none of the games before were, characters are at last back to having defined roles in battle, and all that teasing becomes a thing of the past as 3 acknowledges its own roots and past in full, and you think to yourself… 'If only we'd got this in the base game all along!'

But we didn't. And the credits on Future Redeemed roll far too soon to truly be satisfied. Is this how you wanted the saga to end?

honorable mentions

Butterfly Soup 2 (PC, 2022) [♪ Night Tourist] *I hope you'll forgive me for not finding a GIF for a mostly static VN...

It's so funny. For me it has been two years; for the creator, it'd been five. But I guess time doesn't matter when it comes to maturity, as I feel like both myself and this game have done plenty of growth. And for that, I love it all the more, just as I am now thankful to be able to call Butterfly Soup a short series.

Compared to the first game, the art is more refined, the tone is more consistent, and treatment of serious topics is more grounded - in more ways than one, this sequel is like a fond, yet melancholic look at what you once had, what changed since then, and what you hope to make of things. But between all that, it stays sincere and silly in the best of ways - the ones that make you feel cozy on the darkest of nights, the ones that endear you for a good while yet. Truly, this game was a ray of light in a sea of mediocrity this year.

Road 96 (PC, 2021) [♪ Hit the Road]

Yeah, I know. The fact that I have played a goddamn walking simulator at the behest of a good pal (who might or might not be reading this, hi on the off chance that you are!) is nothing short of a miracle. Not to mention the fact that I ended up having a good time with it!

I'll put it plain: the vibes of this game are almost impeccable. It wastes little time setting things up - it's the turn of the century, and a massively corrupt government is practically folding in on itself as it closes its borders. It's up to you, as you're literally put into a blank-slate teenager's shoes, to go on a desperate journey and see whether or not you make your way out.

Over the course of Road 96, you do this six times, and the people you meet on the way and choices you make with them may or may not shape not just your own future, but that of the whole country. There's nothing for it, then, but hit the road and see what awaits you, as you sit in a car that's probably stolen, blaring music from your carefully curated tapes… or are dropped off on the wayside with nothing but a paltry backpack to speak of… or find yourself biding your time near a gas station… or… whatever it is the game throws at you, as you hope that the strangers you run into actually deign to help.

Yes, the biggest way this game attempts to stand out is with our good old friend, RNG. Even reading blurbs about it, you cannot escape the all-too-typical claims of 'your own personal journey', 'a thousand unique paths waiting for you' and all that… months later, I find myself unable to decide whether this helped the game or harmed it more, as it's definitely smaller than it makes itself out to be.

As a story hook, this setup is clever and delightful, as I tried to illustrate a moment earlier, but the moment you begin to overthink it, you realize that the randomness aspect clashes hard against the continuity the game tries to establish. You, as the player, indeed learn more about the world and colorful characters in it each time you venture forth, but the avatar you control is supposed to be clueless as ever, setting out on a path that is, in fact, not quite their own any more. It's a weird gripe to have, and I found it an easy one to ignore, but I wish something could be done about it anyway.

As for the rest of the plot, let's just say it's... surprisingly binary, and the supporting cast small and not always compelling in turn. The game sacrifices some of the personal intimacy and uniqueness it has built up to make a sweeping, painfully boring statement of 'freedom good, suppression bad' before credits roll, but as damaging as that is to the overall experience, I feel like one can't deny the fundamental appeal of just being asked to go on a journey with sweeping stakes and truly, truly banging music. Seriously, it was meant to be put on speakers and blasted as the world passes you by!

In a word, Road 96 is ambitious, and in a sentence, it is ambitious, yet falling short of itself. Nonetheless, I was impressed by how it managed to worm its way into my heart for a while.

A Space for the Unbound (PC, 2023) [♪ Don't Have Much Choice]

Wouldn't you know it? I had actually played two games involving entering people's subconsciousness to solve their problems this year!

Truth be told, I'd been looking forward to this game for about a year, given that it was published by the people behind Coffee Talk (which, if you recall, I had quite enjoyed). The warm and inviting screenshots on the back-then almost empty store page, showing off awesome art and promising a sweet little journey with slice-of-life tropes and a mystery waiting to be solved… well, to say all of that was alluring is to say nothing, really. I just about jumped when I received a notification for this game releasing at last at the beginning of the year, and wasted little time trying to dive in.

The sad thing is, what you see is not always what you get. The cozy, comfortable, sensible vibes of the early game - running around the city, doing chores at your school, naming every stray cat you come across, watching the protagonist's diary fill up as he crosses all the little goals he had set in life off his precious list… Yeah, those things won't last - definitely not long enough to get you attached to characters living in this world.

As the plot begins to unfold, it fumbles over itself trying to introduce various cliches and supernatural elements, to the point where you recognize the whole experience as a tedious drag as you see exactly where it's heading, and think to yourself that you have heard all this before. It's yet another heartfelt story about self-actualization, and as the game hammers it in harder than ever before, you sigh and wish you could go back to the times of bottle cap collecting and cat petting. Sometimes, simpler is better.

Unfortunately, that's not exactly true when it comes to actually playing A Space for the Unbound. The gameplay is as simple as can be - basically all you do is walk around (quite slowly) and interact with things. I can appreciate how linear the game is, for the most part, but I wish it let us accomplish our goals without wasting too much time! Not to mention, if you try to see everything there is, you have to be prepared to deal with quite a few mind-numbingly repetitive mini-games for far longer than you have to. Don't do that. It'll just sully your impression of the game.

If you're somehow still interested in this after reading this messy opinion of mine, don't be too discouraged - you'll see plenty of beautiful sights, hear some cute music, and, maybe, be affected by the story far more than I was. (Besides, for a cat lover, it's always nice to see others appreciate them!) Just... try not to waste too much time with the game's superficial sidequests.

Tales of the Abyss (3DS, 2011 port of a 2006 release) [♪ The Distribution Base]

There's something ironic in how playing (most of) this game has been one of the best things I have done with my lovely 2DS since I homebrewed it earlier this year... and yet I quite regret not checking how (ahem) easily available the PS2 version is, instead. They may be functionally identical, but the hardware is not - you have no idea how hard some of the goddamn Mieu Fire puzzles become when your character is taking up a mere four or so pixels of an already tiny screen. Man, that was trying my patience at its finest.

These horrors aside, though, what kind of game are we even dealing with here? Well, it’s a Tales game first and foremost. I can’t deny claims that Abyss has a few strengths of its own (most notably, of course, actually bothering to have coherent character development arcs), but it’s not quite enough to obscure the ever-prevalent issues this series has:

exploration and side-questing is still annoyingly obtuse, not to mention traversal is painfully slow in the first half of the game,

some characters (in this case, Anise more so than others, but I'd argue Mieu's whole existence is part of this too) are obligated to suffer because Tales has to meet its unhealthy anime tropes\wackiness quota per game,

the skit system has not, unfortunately, evolved one bit (the amount of times I would skip a skit on accident, because any input halts its playback entirely…),

while I’m inclined to say the battle system is, for the most part, an improvement (the Field of Fonons mechanic is quite a nice change given the foundations of Tales gameplay, I have to admit), any goodwill you might want to give it gets shattered when you realize Free Run breaks bosses in half. And aside from that, it’s just your usual button-mashy fare.

So why did I push on with this game as far as I did, pulling the classic move of quitting right at the final boss instead of, well, any earlier? A lot of that is because I was just in the mood to mash some buttons in bed until I realized I was slightly underleveled for the finale and caught myself groaning at the mere thought of trying to even cheese it. A shame, that, because the ending of this game is pretty wonderful for what it set out to do, and it was the only bit I did not see on my own. It's like my experience with Final Fantasy VI all over again…

That's not all there is to it, though. Abyss has some of what's probably the most involved and curious worldbuilding (once you get past all the awkward made up jargon it loves to throw at you) of any Tales game I know! Not that this says much, because that's a low bar, and I'm not too familiar with the series at large, but it was enough to keep me engaged for a long while. And, as mentioned earlier, it puts in greater efforts than I expected to endear you to the cast as they slowly band together and uncover their own talents, purposes and aims in life - Luke in particular.

I liked him almost immediately - because I'm not too hard to please when it comes to this series, and his design is, I feel, particularly sweet and striking (especially given how nicely the game used the Important Haircut trope with him, and of course, the contrast between him and Asch). But that alone doesn't a good protagonist make - it's the fact that the story allows Luke to make mistakes (from small ones to straight-up catastrophes), get his comeuppance and grow from them organically, at his own pace, that makes him stand out in my mind.

As Luke sheds his sheltered ways of thought and accepts his responsibilities, those that were traveling with him, either out of obligation or by chance, begin to support him more and stand by him in earnest. It all comes together gradually and at a satisfying pace, and is definitely a highlight of the experience to me.

Growth and connection are probably among the biggest themes of the game, so it's nice to see that it applies pretty much equally to both protagonists and antagonists. Sure, it's the job of a Tales' Big Bad faction to be goofy and up to nefarious activities, but beyond that, the group has solid enough chemistry both among themselves and with the party that I actually ended up looking forward to most encounters with them, even if ultimately it felt a little predictable. As an aside, for a game this old, the voice acting was really good and plentiful (though there is none for skits, which sucks), and further piqued my interest in the story along the way.

To conclude, I'd like to say that the biggest thing I learned while playing this game is that I'm a sucker for grounded tales of (ha) self-actualization even this many years later. And also that once you play one Tales game, you truly, to some extent, know them all.

SANABI (PC, 2023) [♪ Warm Hospitality]

Do you want to know why I ended up playing this one? Of course you do, that wasn't really a question. I only bring this up because the answer can be revealed with a single screenshot:

...yep, the inspiration is that blatantly on display. I was expecting it, of course - the Katana ZERO community is the only reason I know of SANABI in the first place, and even as you read people's thoughts on it, the extreme similarity is practically all they ever bring up, be it in a positive or negative light. It pleased me and warmed my heart, while also making me feel wary - it's one thing to be inspired by something, and another to actually carve an identity of your own.

That said, KZ is far from the worst thing to try to replicate, particularly when it comes to visuals - SANABI has some awesome scenery that makes me feel right at home. And while the story at times feels so much like an amateurish copy that it leaves me confused more than anything (I'm sure the awkward English translation sadly does not help matters, not to mention the fact that I'd played this game in an unfinished state - you might expect me to write about it again next year!), the gameplay is anything but.

I'm sure there are quite a few platformers out there that have you use what's essentially a grappling hook to swing through the stages, but SANABI is my first experience with something like this, and in this regard the game absolutely manages to shine on its own. Movement is lightning-fast and responsive, enemy targeting is extremely generous - almost to the point of being handholdy (and, of course, they all die in one satisfying hit - as do you, if you set the game to the highest difficulty. It's nice to be given an opportunity to learn the ropes before engaging with the game earnestly!), and there's something to be said about how the level design has that extreme kind of clarity to it that I always appreciate and favors speed over precision, with how spacious everything is.

My only big issues with how the game plays are how it doesn't seem to be designed with a controller in mind (it is an option, but I found myself moving much more precisely with KBM! Me! Someone who never plays games with that!), and, once again, the just-a-bit-too-long death animation\transition. Being able to skip it helps, but I just yearn for no time to be wasted...

#celeste #aitsf #xbc3 #tales #abyss #zero.txt #yearly game list #flashing gif #.gif

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anime-simp-0 · 2 years

Note

Hi there! I am so sooooo happy to see other people with a Bakugo obsession - his character development is one of the better ones in my opinion.

If you are open to sharing some headcanons (but of course no pressure! Writing should be enjoyable!) - how do you think Bakugo would be with an antihero s/o with a personality like Deadpool? I imagine them having a really smart mouth that drives Bakugo up the wall lol but also being kickass enough to stand toe to toe with him. What do you think?

I'm so sorry this took me so long my courses kicked my ass and i had to put literally everything else on the backburner. But! I got it done lol

i can totally see this. to me, bakugo definitely seems like the type of guy to go after someone who can not only hold their own against him in a fight, but also in a conversation. i think it's very important to him to have an s/o who can put up with his bullshit and call him out at the same time. i also think that he secretly finds it really sexy that you can put him in his place so easily with your smart mouth. well, as long as your not using it to make him lose his mind ( even if that is your favorite pastime). regardless of his stereotype of just being a stubborn hothead, he is actually quite levelheaded. He knows he overreacts sometimes. he knows that he doesn't always think things through. so, he needs someone who can call him out. and that's why you're so perfect for him. you're just as stubborn as him, which none of his friends could believe so it was quite a shock when he proved it, and it keeps him on his toes. it keeps your relationship interesting.

i think that bakugo himself fits the definition of a hero rather well, but that doesn't mean that all of his actions do. yes, he himself aligns with heroic standards, but that's more for the sake of keeping his license then morals. i think the more experience he gets as a pro really changes him and his perspective on good and evil. this also gives him the ability to recognize that heroic ways don't always solve the problem.

for the record, when i think antihero, i think of an oliver queen/green arrow situation here. don't judge me 😓

having said that, i think that bakugo doesn't necessarily like your antihero decisions either. he understands them, yes. and he can see the good you do and your good intentions. and he'd be damned if he ever told anyone who you were in the shadows. hell, he'd rather take a bullet to the brain then risk you getting arrested for being a vigilante. and that's the problem. you would be. your methods are unorthodox. you get the job done, but at what cost? how much blood has to spill before you are the one that doesn't get back up? at least as a hero he has protection. backup. you go in blind and pray for the best. and it kills him to see your busted lip and bruised knuckles. yet you hide it well. everyone he works with just sees you as his kickass, badass partner. the only one he listens to and smiles for.

but he knows the truth.

he knows why you do what you do.

because again and again heroes let you and the people you cared about down. you got sick of waiting around to be saved. so you saved yourself. you got your hands dirty. but the farther you went in, the harder the dirt was to wash off your hands and now you can't. you can't stop. you can't turn away. not from all of those suffering people that the heroes won't help.

so, for now, he'll be quite. he'll clean your cuts while you sit on the bathroom counter with him between your thighs. he'll get you ice for bruises and learn how to do stitches. he'll even help you come up with a cover story. because as much as it pains him to see you in pain, he knows your happy. that it's worth it to you. and as long as he gets to hold you when everything is said and done and hear you whisper you love him as you fall asleep, as long as he can feel the way your chest expands as you breath against him and hear the soft sighs against his neck, he'll learn to love these moments enough to forget about how you got in this state in the first place. he'll learn to see that you don't just do it for them, but for him too.

#bakugo fic #bakugo x reader #boku no hero academia #bnha #katsuki <3 #katsuki #bakugo fluff #bnha bakugo katsuki #bakugo katuski #bnha bakugou #katsuki bakugo mha #katsuki headcanons #bakugo headcanons #kacchan #bakugo hcs

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viridian-house · 7 months

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I think my 2 biggest problems with natla have become what I see people saying the most in its defense.

no, they did not "only" have 8 episodes to tell the story. the runtimes of the original and the nf adaptation are about the same--especially if we consider making cuts to the most filler-ish episodes (11 for sure, and 14 maaaaaybe. I'm torn on 5 because it informs us of how the EK still isn't free of the FN even though we just saw a stronghold, omashu, and also foreshadows how innovative and strong toph really is to be the first to bend metal). anyway, they've got the same amount of time to tell the story and yet it still suffers from pacing issues. it still suffers from the characters feeling hollow and just kind of "stuck together" and never forming a true family bond.

and the 2nd thing is the people who say "well it's an adaptation of a kids show, why does it need to have depth?" when...the original is definitely digestible for children, and s1 is for sure different in tone than s2+3, but...I was a middle schooler who loved it. my dad never missed an episode because he was just as invested. it was the only show my high school aged siblings didn't make fun of me for watching, because it was a mature enough story for everyone to enjoy. someone else said it, but that's why the story is so timeless, it's why we're all still fans, it's why we've all taken so many years to discuss the themes and the characters (people are still arguing over Aangs choice not to kill the Firelord, for goodness sake lol). I don't care how "hehe fun times" the show starts out--by the THIRD episode, we see Gyatso's skeleton and the total ruin of Aang's home.

and on that same note, we didn't need to see the genocide. we didn't need to see Ozai burn a man alive. but we did--okay, the show wants to be NF's game of thrones. why, then, is the story written so that the characters spoon feed us exposition? why, then, do we see the genocide happening instead of witnessing the devastation of the world organically through the eyes of these children? everything we see in the original informs us in some way of the state of the world. we see Aang's struggle between wanting to carry on living how he wanted, and how much he believes in the power of silliness (telling Katara, "you ARE still a kid!") and how unfair it is that he, essentially, has no choice (and by the way, his drives to have fun and avoid his destiny/the guilt he feels over near-apocalyptic circumstances being "his fault" for running away, are why it's such an impactful moment when he must "show no emotion at all" in meeting Koh, essentially forsaking everything he's embodied for 19 episodes straight to get the info he needs to help save the Northern Water Tribe--natla manages to suck all the meaning out of that, as well)

anyway. if it's "mindless fun just turn your brain off it's for kids" then why the heck is it so violent. why the heck is it stripped of any and all opportunity for a kid to learn important things that were present in the original, which trusted its audience (including the kids) with mature themes and didn't feel the need to dumb itself down at almost any moment at all. I don't understand. make it make sense.

#natla #atla #avatar live action spoilers

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the-missann · 11 months

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I've never had the chance to share this so ig I'll do it here.

So, I have a speech impediment. Yay.

Specifically a stutter and I've suffered bullying centered around my stuttering for years on end. (For some reason it was always by girls. Guys used to think my stutter was cute for some reason it's not btw).

My sutter is the prolongation of words and the block

I.e How areeeee you and I'm fin____

I wanted to share this for anyone else who's living with a stutter. I've noticed a few things.

I actually only stutter on vowels (lovely that every word has a vowel in it huh?)

I pretty much stop breathing when I talk (it's like my brain can only focus on one thing at a time)

Reading does not increase or decrease my stuttering.

I sometimes add extra words or pronounce words differently to avoid stuttering.

My stutter decreases dramatically when speaking to people who don't cut me off.

Now, I'll go through and explain them to help anyone who may have similar issues.

For 1, I noticed around four years ago that I actually only stutter on words that have a vowel sound. I sat down with myself and talked for a bit and found that every word I stuttered on, it was at the vowel sound.

Shockingly, even words that begin with a vowel sound I stutter over, I'll give details on that later.

So, the best way I've learn to handle this is to stop when I know a word has a vowel and I stutter on that word, so I'll say something like:

Everything is all ready done.

Separating them into two words seems to prevent me from stuttering.

2 might also just be my anxiety, but for the sake of this post, let's say it's not. I noticed I'm usually out of breath when I talk. I do talk fast, but I mean like I just ran a marathon out of breath from just saying a simple sentense.

The best way I can describe it is like when you're singing a song. You try and sing the full line as the singer does, but most of us haven't trained our lungs so we end up breathless by the end of it.

I still do this, but it's gotten better as I've learned to breathe from my diaphragm when I talk instead of my chest.

3 I'm really saying for anyone trying to help someone with a stutter. This does not help someone to calm their stutter. As a kid, my parents sat me down and assumed if I read aloud I would learn not to stutter, but it makes no difference.

My advice is to just be patient. That person knows they stutter, let them take their time and they'll eventually get out what they need to say. You're in no rush to hear what they say, so just let tham go at their own pace.

One last thing about this. DO NOT try and finish a sentence for them. It's bad enough we have a stutter, but if someone tries to fill in the sentence for us, our self esteem goes 📉📉.

For 4 (lol) this is a thing I developed and it works pretty well. This is the detail I was going to get into. So, sometimes I stutter over the word it, no Pennywise.

So, to stop that from happening since it is used a lot, I started saying "I T is like." Now, I don't say that in public, but I do with my family and the word is simple enough that no one is thinking too hard on what I spelled out.

But this is why I usually don't refer to things by their proper name (so if anyone here ever becomes my real friend, please know I'm not saying things wrong, I'll just stutter otherwise).

Lastly, 5. I would assume this is the same for everyone regardless if they have a stutter or not. When someone is cutting you off, it makes you rush your words, cut your words off, and stutter. So it gets worse for someone with a stutter.

I have very rarely encountered people who didn't try and cut me off because I paused to take a breath or held out a word. It's true that the anticipation of someone cutting you off sometimes makes you stutter.

I have my stutter under control a lot now, but it did take me a while to get to this point. So, for anyone out there who has a stutter, try and find out what makes your stutter tick and go from there to find ways around it.

This has been a PSA about stuttering, thank you for reading 🍂

Sorry, but last thing, since I'm a writwblr, I wanted to add how to properly write a character with a stutter.

We know t-the (repeating sound) stutter is a real one, but it's normally used for someone who's simply nervous. Someone who actually stutters would stutter at any point in time and sometimes in different ways (eg me having two versions of a stutter).

Also, know where your character's stutter comes from. Mines happens to be hereditary and environmental as I frequently get cut off and thus rush my words to get them out faster. It's also just kind of the way I am since I'm very fast paced and have a hard time "taking things slow"

It's also good to detail a tick or habit your stuttering character may have, like they stop talking and shake their head when pausing their stutter.

Oh, and it's true, cursing eliminates stuttering. There needs to be some testing done on that.

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thegeminisage · 4 months

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STAR TREK UPDATE TIME. last night we finished off the third season of ds9 with "facets" and "the adversary."

facets:

FINALLY some good fucking food re dax. oh finally finally finally. i absolutely loved this episode start to finish. 10/10 no notes. well no i have two notes 1. it's hilarious that they included leeta bc they didn't have enough characters for all of dax's lives 2. i wish we didn't on-purpose forget that crazy mf who kidnapped her in that one episode...where was he. anyway, aside from those two things, literally perfect

gonna start with the b-plot - nog finally passing his starfleet exams was such a huge fucking deal and it was an even BIGGER deal to me that rom - rom, who initially almost stopped his own kid from going to school because of his brother's influence/ferengi culture in general - got so mad on his kid's behalf he yelled at quark NOSE TO NOSE. not only that, he had a uniform commissioned from garak at a high expense...his son is more important than even MONEY and GOOD FOR HIM!!! my new friend rom.

i'm trying haaard with quark - i liked his scenes in the a-plot - but him fucking with the test is just so horrible. i am begging for even a scrap of character development or even just likability. why can't his schemes and shenanigans be something that doesn't cause emotional harm to other people?? he did a lot of that in the first two seasons, what happened??

anyway, it's cosmic justice that dax assigned him hairbrushing and pregnancy talk in her little ritual. at first i was like i can't believe theyre not gonna make him curzon because he's an asshole and so was curzon but this episode was so enlightened

actually, i had a little spoiler going into this episode. one day i was gooling pics of curzon bc i couldn't remember what he looked like and was so shocked to see ODO! i was like damn is odo mimicking curzon, i thought it was dr mora, what manner of backstory...but then i happened to see the summary for the episode later (i try not to read them, but it happens) and was like ohhh. and it turned out to be perfect

like, the picks for everyone were great - maybe o'brien as tobin was a little mean, that could have also been quark lol - kira was such a perfect feminist trill even with her little voice and sisko made an AMAZING joran (his fakeout was SO fun and i love when sisko calls jadzia old man) but you can't get more perfect than curzon and odo

like, theyre both assholes who go too far sometimes, though obviously they're different KINDS of assholes - odo's grumpiness in generally more benevolent, though not always, and curzon's is much more hidden under charm. they're also both PINING! what a plot twist. it actually explains so much (why he asked for her despite expelling her) and it's like...yeah, jadzia was an adult, but the age difference still made it kind of inappropriate, and he knew enough to know that. and rene auberjonis can play that kind of tortured wish-i-didn't-love-you angst PERFECTLY

and even though he's an asshole, you didn't feel like jadzia's sympathy for him was misplaced, because he obviously did his best to make amends (important!!) and suffered over it a great deal - that his own inappropriate behavior almost cost jadzia something she'd worked her whole life for, and it was nearly a mistake that couldn't be undone. you felt like he actually HAD a wake-up call, unlike a lot of the characters in tng or in a recent case voy who were only sad and made excuses so THEY could feel better without actually attempting to correct course for someone ELSE'S sake. i liked curzon a lot, he had a lot of nuance

also, i gotta talk about odo. since curzon and odo's personalities are so different, it actually makes total sense why they'd want to stay joined...odo gets to be free and easy around others, and curzon gets the joys of being a changeling. odo's rigid personality doesn't complement his abilities as a changeling very well, but curzon's personality kind of does??

curzon sisko reunion was so good too. sisko pointing vaguely at him to an amazed and speechless jake going oh you remember curzon ha ha and getting sort of dragged out of the room. they're SO funny and i love sisko scenes so much

and of course sisko's scenes with JADZIA! i feel like i understand her so much better now...firstly, she's had this sort of sassy personality for a few episodes, so i'm wondering if we are finally sticking with that one? but then she also has this deep-seated insecurity underneath there which could kind of explain away some of her reserved rigidity in earlier seasons - her whole deal enrolling kind of traumatized her, and her "real" personality is starting to shine now that she's healing? all conjecture/headcanon, but i could get used to sassy jadzia! it feels great that she has actual conflict and stuff to say and like, a pretty fun sense of comedic timing also

and now that her character has started to appeal to me i can see how lovely it is that curzon was once sisko's mentor and now sisko is mentoring jadzia on how to confront curzon...also they fucked twins once. and fucked in the mirrorverse. there's so much to unpack. it's a complex fun relationship that i've always LIKED but am only just now starting to APPRECIATE

anyway, wonderful stuff, 10/10

the adversary:

MY BEST FRIEND ODO. "no changeling has ever harmed another" are such fun arc words and i was hoping he'd be the first and he WAS. i think that other changeling technically attacked him first but whatever. it was what i wanted and i GOT IT and he was so fucked up after <3

sisko's promotion!! i always wondered when they'd get around to making him captain, it was always bonkers to me that he started as a commander. he is still ROCKING that beard also but i do pre-emptively miss his hair. also, sisko taking jake's drink at the toast when he tried to steal too much. priceless. he has such dad energy

dax teasing sisko about his baseball gf..........i love this so much for them. i love that he gets a baseball gf and i love that everyone gossips about it behind his back. i also love how much glee everyone took in calling him captain for the rest of the episode. his besties love him so much.........................

changeling plot was so fun because i THOUGHT it was weird for julian to be crawling around in that little hole but the close-up on obrien had me CONVINCED he was the one and ofc also that one traitor guy was there too and he's super squirrelly. so it kept me GUESSING

i do think it's really funny that they used this nice civilized hypo to draw blood though - firstly, it's less secure, because the changeling was able to swap samples, but secondly, on s*pernatural they would have been cutting each other up INSTANTLY. straight across the palm like idiots. they're so fucking civilized in the 2300s.

the return of the self-destruct codes!!!!!!!!!!! GOD THAT WAS SO METAL. everyone went very calmly to their almost certain deaths too.

the fact that kira was the first to ask after odo after he went, sorry, NONVERBAL, and showed up in the meeting room.......that's romance. r, well, it's not but i'll take it and happily.

"you're too late we're everywhere" THEY'D BETTER GET USED TO THE CUTTING!

TONIGHT: kicking off voy s2 with "the 37s" and "initiations." though i do happen to know the former was originally just supposed to be part of s1 lol

#personal #star trek blogging #ds9 lb

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psychewritesbs · 1 year

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I think one of the reasons I love Jujutsu Kaisen because it feels like a reverse-parody of shounen, atleast to me. Gege takes common shounen tropes and instead of doing the same thing as the writers before him, he takes those tropes seriously instead of just using them as clutches to make things happen.

For example Sukuna, he isn't just an evil magic battery inside our main hero to get him out of tough situations who gets tamed with time but a fully realized character with motivations of his own. Or the failed older generation that reflects and mirrors the current trio (Nobara is still alive and nothing can take this delusion away from me) who are not just copypaste with a minor twist to them. Gojo isn't just the strongest character who our protagonist will have to eventually overcome and the world doesn't revolve around Yuuji, like literally 7 other characters could have been the main characters as well. Even with the KennyMommy twist we got nothing but a crushing irony that Yuuji was made to be expendable instead of being the most special character out of them all. (Even if there is more to the story -which is very likely, but who knows because it's Gege- and he was in fact more special than that, it still works because next to someone like Maki or Yuta, it's like nothing lmao)

I also love the grading system and how realistict it is, the special grade curses/sorcerers are treated more as monsters than the goal the characters should work towards, I never once felt that grade 1 sorcerers were ever disregarded or degraded to constantly up the power scale. Grade, technique, curse level or even domain expansion isn't the ends of all means, every fight is unique and fresh, unlike in some other shounens were the fights start to feel like dick measuring after a time.

Also also our main character isn't the moral epitome of the whole world with writer's clairvoyance, who knows everything better than everyone else. No, he isn't always right and his approach isn't always the right one or the only right one, something that was showcased with both Megumi, Junpei or even Mahito. When he faced the awakened Junpei, he didn't want to accept his actions and preeched without knowing anything, it is only when Yuuji tried to understand Junpei is when he made a big push through, which was handled greatly in my opinion. It's understandable that Yuuji rejected him at first and I don't neccessarily see it as a flaw, but him trying to connect to Junpei is what made him a great protagonist in my opinion. Everything is chaotic and gray in JJK, there is no clear right and wrong, there is only your side and their side, or more accurately you vs them. There are no one-dimensional bad guys who suddenly turn one-dimensional good guys once they are defeated (which I'm so thankful for, my god). Curses, for fuck's sake this universe has curses which could have been the faceless unthinking monsters the heroes could massacre en masse without ANY moral implications, then Gege went ahead and said Lmao, Lol even, here, kill these innocent civilians made by a sentient curse that's the manifestation of humankind's fear and hatred for our own kind while you are there and then things just went further downhill after that. (I just want to say, when Nanami and Yuuji defeated those curses without knowing their true nature, I really cried seeing those poor people suffer, I can't wait to see the Shibuya arc being finally animated. Maybe this time Nanami and Nobara won't die if I am delusional enough).

Sorry for rambling, I may not have worded things exactly the way I wanted them but writing in English is not my greatest expertise. Also idk if someone has already made this point or not, I try to avoid the JJK fandom as much as possible because 90% of it is just SatoSugu or Character x Y/N and I'm not interested in either of those (no hate towards the fans tho)

HOLA anon! Ehem...

So... when your ask came through I was getting ready to go Cancun+ing, but I promise that even while my skin scorched under the sun (I am sunburnt af 🥲) I was in deep thought regarding your magnificent ask because.................

HOLY DAMN YES!

Welcome to another JJK-Sunday Confessionals.

I love it! Thanks for sending your #thoughts. I honestly don't even know that I have much more to add to this other than saying that I love how you've captured many of the #things I love about jjk.

Ok, jk, have we met? I vomit words and words I shall vomit under the cut.

Gege takes common shounen tropes and instead of doing the same thing as the writers before him, he takes those tropes seriously instead of just using them as clutches to make things happen

I love this so much and I've been thinking about what it is about how Gege writes that is so refreshing and I think it defo has something to do with how he fleshes out the tropes he uses in detail.

Perhaps he understands that tropes are at their core experiences. And where most mangaka rely on tropes at face value, he re-imagines new ways of expressing the same core concept. i.e. the Kurama vs. Sukuna example you shared.

Honestly, this is one of the reasons I like jjk so much. I simply cannot predict it to a t. There's a lot of media that I simply do not indulge because, as soon as I am able to predict the story because of the tropes used, I get bored.

the failed older generation that reflects and mirrors the current trio

Ok but listen. What if Kenny, Tengen and Sukuna were such a trio? Same trope, take it back, way back. There's something about how Gege is writing about Tengen (especially in relation to Kenny) that is interesting in that there's this sense that fate has been repeating itself for many, many years.

I haven't been able to gather my thoughts on it but... something about it...

the world doesn't revolve around Yuuji, like literally 7 other characters could have been the main characters as well. Even with the KennyMommy twist we got nothing but a crushing irony that Yuuji was made to be expendable instead of being the most special character out of them all.

Just today I was thinking about how Yuji is such a refreshing and unique take on his trope as the mc of a battle shonen. Like Megumi, he is all the #things that define him according to his trope, and yet he does it in a way that is unequivocally Yuji.

As for the other main characters, that's what I love about them. It's like they are all the protagonists of their own lives. There are a few plot devices in the story, but for the most part Gege's character writing is absolutely fantastic.

Also. Crushing irony is abso-fucking-lutely on point lol.

Grade, technique, curse level or even domain expansion isn't the ends of all means, every fight is unique and fresh, unlike in some other shounens were the fights start to feel like dick measuring after a time.

YES. I have to half disagree about how the fights don't feel like dick measuring tho.

There's something very ironic and absurd about Hakari vs. Kashimo and Gojo vs. Sukuna that is 300% dick measuring but in this very Gege-kind-of-egotistical-way 😂. I personally love it tho. No complaints here.

Also also our main character isn't the moral epitome of the whole world with writer's clairvoyance, who knows everything better than everyone else.

Loved this 🥲. All of it!

I can't wait to see the Shibuya arc being finally animated. Maybe this time Nanami and Nobara won't die if I am delusional enough.

oh hey! it's like me thinking Tokyo Babylon's volume 7 will have a different outcome if only I read it enough times. I have not successfully managed to manifest a different ending but shall keep trying lol.

So relatable.

Nah, please ramble away. Thank you for sharing your #thoughts with me.

You are using British English, does that mean you are on the other side of the world (Europe/Asia)? Also I'd say you write quite well in English :) better than many USAmericans actually lol.

Yeah so... about the fandom.

What I'll say is that I have had several negative experiences that have left a very sour taste in my mouth. It's gotten to the point that sometimes people will comment on my content with inoffensive messages and I immediately get defensive because I think they're being mean when they aren't. It actually makes me sad to react like that and it is something I'm working on.

For that reason I've stayed here in my little Tumblr corner for the vast majority of my fandom experience and interacted with others very little because I found some posts and attitudes to be too triggering.

But alas, I've come out of my shell and have met good friends/moots through here as a result. So thank you to my Tumblr moots for helping make my jjk experience better!

I also only recently started interacting more on twitter with others in the fandom. So I have a small circle of mutuals who share the same level of understanding as me but it isn't always easy to find people I vibe with in such a large ocean of loud voices.

It's interesting to note that the most popular content for jjk isn't necessarily the kind of discourse I enjoy. To your point, sometimes I see a a very popular post that is specifically about satosugu and I wonder whether it would be as popular if it wasn't about the ship. So I totally share your feelings about the state of the fandom on all levels.

And while I personally do enjoy "shipping", I also like to explore and understand the characters as individuals. That is not to mention I consider myself to be on camp ship and let ship.

What I've learned is that you have to curate your content experience and I get the feeling you're already on it for yourself.

Anyways anon! Thank you so much for dropping by!

I really enjoyed reading your thoughts on why you love jjk and look forward to hearing about what other #jjk thoughts you might have.

#god I love jujutsu kaisen #ask the mental gymnastics anime girl

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frugalkubal · 2 years

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Sometimes I'd think about how Giyuu was always thinking about how Sabito deserved better and never bothered about Makomo. It's like, she never existed to him; though, I bet Makomo also didn't give a damn about his Sabito-pining ass. lol

Also, I think Sabito was watching Giyuu training his ass off to improve his swordsmanship after passing the final selection. Giyuu's all bruised up, dripping sweat, snot and tears, getting all exhausted and occasionally discouraged; but then he'd slap his own face with both hands and scream, "DON'T GIVE UP! BE A MAN AND STOP WHINING! YOU CAN DO THIS! FOR TSUTAKO-NEE AND SABITO!" And then Sabito would be like, "You heard that, Makomo? He's so adorable and manly, isn't he? Oh god, I wish I could give him a manly kiss and manly brohug or something." Makomo would reply in her usual soft voice, "Yes, I heard what he said. I wish I didn't hear what you just said tho. 🙂" And Urokodaki's other ghost kids would be groaning while collectively asking the gods that Sabigiyuu would be reincarnated together in their next lives just so they could get their shit together.

Thankfully, they did end up reincarnated together (thank you, Gotouge-sensei ♡ XD); unfortunately for Makomo though, she's stuck third wheeling them. As if hearing them talk about each other after Sabi's death for years wasn't enough, she also had to suffer seeing them pine at eo live and up close as their childhood friend. 😭

Also, I think it'd be more hilarious if Makomo's the only one who retained past life memories. She'd sometimes smile fondly as she gets reminded of some things from their past lives. She'd also smile at how SabiGiyuu are now able to do the things one of them wished to do with the other; but then her smile would drop every damn time Sabito would say "no homo tho" while Giyuu would awkwardly smile, looking a bit dejected. Makomo would facepalm, "Oh for god's sake, not this manly shit again."

I have other things I have in mind about Sabigiyuu, third-wheel Makomo and everyone else around sbgy, so I might just doodle these out of my head someday when I have the time, energy and an attention span long enough for me to actually do it. 😂

#I love Sabigiyuu 🤧💕#KnY #frugalkubabble

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allbeendonebefore · 2 years

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i decided to open a new blank doc to go at the ruperts land thing from a different angle just for fun and i’m already suffering from scope creep because. yknow. balancing characters all with their own unique histories that i could go super in depth on each but that’s not the point.

so for the sake of avoiding scope creep lets establish what this is and isn’t if i actually ever do bother to do anything about it

- dominion day was about the founding four provinces that Did join confederation AND the two that did Not; likewise ruperts land is about the provinces and territories that came out of the nwt (3 in the 19th century, 3 in the 20th)

- so, back in iamp the ruperts land fam was treated as siblings even though they were never established as such by sherry. this treatment bothers me for a lot of reasons and it’s not a reading that i bring with me because i just feel like its an extension of the Canadian tm view of a place that was full of very different people lumped together for convenience and colonization. i do treat them like found family, sure, but they are ambiguously related because again its. a Lot of different people and cultures that kind of are treated in canadian history as “land we Wanted and land we don’t care about but need to have or else”

- the reason i bring that up is that in nwt’s bio she’s referred to as everyone’s big sister, and you could take that in a literal or a metaphorical sense. i Personally like the idea that part of her character arc was being alone and independent since ‘birth’ and then her like. mellowing out and learning to actually take care of others as she encountered them. so her relationship with NT is completely different from how the others remember her growing up lol, with nunny she is like you’re sure you’re ok? are you eating enough at home? and yukon starts talking about how when she was growing up it was just nonstop chores and occasionally fighting lol.

- i think the central focus of this story is how nwt is hella ambiguous, i don’t think she came into the world knowing who her people were, she knew that there were people like her but they already had meaning. so it’s kind of the story of her getting definition (mostly from others but i think she finds herself too)

- like its also obviously the story of the others but mostly its about her. and how. right after all the drama and politics of dominion day. she was literally. bought. and the others just appeared as part of the package deal. and that sets the tone for all of western and northern canadian politics up to now, and a particularly big elephant in the room is the numbered treaties.

- ALL THIS SAID i know i have a tendency to lose sight of the big picture because i am so invested in this history and its somewhat personal to me so i need to not do a deep dive. i have to sort of imagine it from an outsider perspective too, so the next thing i need to decide is how to tell the story and what questions to answer and what questions that just get hinted at or asked without being directly addressed. one of the smaller ones that still is pretty big is what is the difference between a province and a territory, and while i want to be cynical about it i guess that’s really the root of the story im telling at the end of the day

- i was initially going to do it chronologically and pick up from where i left off with dd but it occurred to me it would actually make more sense to bookend it with more contemporary history, because again Nunny’s relationship with confederation is also entirely different from the rest of rupert’s land. so really i’m also structuring it around her too.

- anyway that’s enough rambling for now shout if you have questions and i’ll do my best to answer. none of this is or should be considered Canon it’s just how i personally view the history so [radical guitar solo] nothing matters! :)

#iamp #iammatthewian #projectcananda #hapo rambles #balancing 6 characters was hard enough last time lol #but i think narrowing the focus of the relationship to two is very helpful #cuz lets be real i could put the prairies as an entirely separate story arc #hell i could put bc alone as an entirely separate story arc #or at least compare and contrast her with pei who entered confed around the same time but then like. MANI!!!!!!!!!!!#so anyway. this is dedicated to that person at anime north who asked for more about the territories THIS IS FOR YOU!!!!!!!!#love the one person in the entire project who actually lived in one lol not that it really counts #I STILL HAVE MY YUKON HEALTH CARD THOUGH :) AND ITS IN BETTER SHAPE THAN MY ALBERTA ONE #i said this was a one man show but windex agreed to translate french for me lol

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kayyqua · 3 months

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Okay first of I wanna say I hate the theme for this diary. It’s ugly and it does not encompass everything I feel. (Mostly just want it angry instead of hurt— gross!)

Second) tell me why this lady is attacking me ? I be sitting she throws shit at me ? Like I’m sorry you decided to give birth to a kid and he’s way past your energy now but I’ve been consistently helping you all your life and you wanna sit here and bitch at me and throw my passport at me and yell at me and stomps everywhere all angrily like a weirdo

Not to mention everyone’s ignoring me now which is an interesting development— I’ve noticed this a lot of times!!! Actually!!! Anytime she’s angry they all get hush hush at me (forget the young one— she’s an ugly cunt and a bitch and if I could choke her out I would at this point!! With enthusiasm too actually——— yeah yeah yeah call me petty do it! Do it! I am! I am! Bitch! Bitch! Fuck off!

Why the fuck is the second bitch ignoring me and what the fuck have I done to that ugly bitch? Negative and ugly bitches! That’s this family :)

Anyways. As I was saying. So I fell asleep? Well,,,, not really lol but it seems I made the right choice but since (actually since we landed in the fkn country they’ve been attacking me as always— her and her demon spawn— we believe in god my ass. Why act like that if you believe yourself a Muslim ? Bc islam is a hateful religion according to these ppl 🙄 this has been an ongoing thing since she was laughing ab us being useless and nothing to her and I got pissed bc why the fuck is actually wrong with you as a human being that lives and breathes. Like… actually. Bro. What the fuck is wrong with you? I said why do I gotta do anything for you considering this is how you talk about me— always making jokes about killing me and slaughtering me. Like a lil bitch. No. I will fucking say it. Fuck her. And fuck her spawn. We’ll see if I ever actually ever again speak to them. I am so serious right now.

I ain’t even going back to sweden. I’m getting gran there then I’m coming back to England. Luckily we have this house here so. That’s always nice. Honestly. She can pull the house too I don’t mind. I don’t mind being homeless. I bet I could still get a good life. She’s soft tho so she won’t do that to me. I mean she’ll do worse shit to me— the single most loyal person to her that has fought with everyone for her sake and left everything in their life that were ready to sacrifice everything for her but she sits there now. lol. Because I don’t take verbal abuse she’s angry. Boohoo.

She’s like nobody helps me then ofc she takes it out on me. What else is new. I’ve always been getting shit treated because I’m willing to stand with shitty behaviour and still do good for the people that mistreat me but the only issue they have is I don’t sit quiet. I say shit back. I talk up for myself. Now if only I kept my fkn mouth shut. lol. They wish.

Anyways. I got fired. Which is fine. Now they’re bothering the other kids to do baby things for her and she’s fed up and tired. Like??? What did she think would happen?? I’m literally the only reason you had a life. Because I actually gave my life up (partly because of my agoraphobia and mostly because I thought she suffered enough— still do!) I ain’t no angel or saint. I’ve always been too argumentative and annoying and in your face and my word choice has always been especially harsh. Like. Nothing new. Whatever.

I, however, unlike these people and their shit personalities have always tried to better myself and bite my tongue more and more and more and more and more. I could have done far worse damage.

They have tag teamed me. They have assaulted me. My one mistake is always fighting back. My one ☝️ issue is always fighting for myself. Because I have me and me and me and me and I’ve always been alone no matter how much good I’ve done and how well I’ve behaved but people have only ever seen what they wanna see and they are hellbent on hating me and seeing me as a demon they need to exterminate the personality and human off while keeping the shell that serves them and honors them. They’re lucky I decided a long time ago to honor family and what means to me. The blood version of it even when they have never honored me. I don’t regret my choices or my actions. I think I could have done more. I could have been worse. I never let my pettiness get in the way (expect for the arguing back——— that’s one pleasure I have never denied myself but I could have been harsher— less refined with my word choice. I have let them keep their delusional and nonexistent ideals of themselves. Never spoke up on it.

Anyways. I’m working on my essay again. That’s something. My back hurts and I need to get back to the gym and I’ve decided to surgical remove my eyelids. They’re too big!!!!!!! I can’t do any makeup!!! I’m wondering if I should remove my cheekbones or just let it be. Idk. I also really wanna do a hysterectomy……. Scared to hell and back tho. I hate surgery.

Gonna get all the piercings I’ve always wanted. I don’t care for these people and upkeeping their image any longer. That’s it from me 🫡.

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eurofox · 2 years

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Get Even Review

I hadn’t heard about this game at all and it doesn’t seem like many have played it. It looked like a generic shooter at first glance but it’s not, it’s actually a weird mix of different genres and unique ideas. It’s well made for an indie title, developed by a Polish company called Farm51

It’s really hard to talk about the plot without spoiling it, but the gist is you’re a mercenary called Cole Black (Fuck’s sake) and you’re undergoing some bizarre therapy for PTSD after a failed rescue attempt of a teenage girl who was kidnapped for ransom money, an attempt that left him injured. The real reason for the therapy is to probe his fragmented memory for answers about what happened and who was involved in the kidnapping He isn’t really doing this therapy out of his own free will and this dilapidated asylum in Birmingham is a hub world. The person who wants to explore Black’s memories is a strange man called ‘Red’ who only appears as a blurred image on a screen. He thinks Black is hiding something and wants answers. It’s going to get mindbending and weird, with a lot of twists, that’s all I can really say. It’s constructed well though. Black himself was alright, spends a lot of time going ‘what the fuck is going on ‘ere?’ which is how any sane person would react to the wacky shit he has to deal with. He’s a hardman type who isn’t used to being at someone else’s mercy so the tension between him and Red is compelling.

Gameplay a very varied mix. You will be shooting, but despite being given an overpowered super gun right away, you are discouraged from using it. Killing people can ‘disrupt the memory’ and Red will get pissed off if you keep blasting away. You can go ahead and kill everyone if you want, but things will change. The gun is called the Cornergun and it does what it says on the tin, and it’s actually kind of cool to use. Overall the shooting is fine, just clunky. Red wants you to be stealthy and avoid detection, but the game’s stealth mechanics just aren’t good enough for that approach imo. Sometimes I could run straight past enemies and nobody would see anything and other times I’d get blasted to death because they saw a bit of my elbow, it was very inconsistent. Black dies in a few shots and there’ no health pick ups so ultimately I decided to just shoot everybody. Combat is restricted to short areas, the developers were inspired by ‘Die hard’ as they explained that in the film he actually doesn’t kill all that often and most of it is about his personal issues. I thought this approach worked well honestly and it fits the narrative as these enemies are only memories after all, and despawn when you leave the combat section so you can explore in relative peace. The other side of the game is exploration, collecting info from files and recordings and triggering memory events to piece together the story. All your finds are kept in an evidence room so you can go over things later and it’s satisfying to see things start to come together, as you’ll be playing events out of order. You have access to gadgets on your phone, Like heat sensors and UV lighting, which are used for puzzle solving. Most of these puzzles were pretty good actually, but there isn’t that many of them. Most of them are found in the asylum hub, and here the game takes on more of a horror game feel. Black has to deal with lunatics and creepy mannequins and unsettling whispering when he’s in between levels. One thing the game tries to drill into your head is that your actions have consequences. And your decisions will affect the ending, as well as some events. A little summary plays at the end so you can see what did what. I played aggressively but I don’t think it hugely affected the outcome and definitely not enough to suffer through the stealth mechanics to get the other changes (I just youtubed the alternatives lol)

The game looks well, you’ll be spending your time in old warehouses, abandoned industrial estates, bits of wasteland, the aforementioned asylum, and an office block. Characters are stiff looking but you’ll really only be seeing them in static poses, aside from the goons you’ll be killing, so it doesn’t matter. I thought the voice acting was decent, even the Irish guy wasn’t too bad. Black himself is gruff and he really reminds me of someone but I didn’t recognise the voice actor. Also don’t think there was any Brummie accents which is a bit odd considering the setting.

The soundtrack is brilliant tbh. It’s dynamic and there was a really cool bit when I was in a firefight and it mixed in with Black’s breathing, so it got intense. It’s goes between classical music and techno throughout the game and it just worked so well. There’s a chant that got stuck in my head from the asylum but I can’t go into detail. There’s also another section where the music in used in a surprising way but again, I can’t really say without spoiling it.

Some things got my nerves though. On the last level especially, I got caught and stuck in the scenery about 7 times. Reloading a checkpoint wasn’t a big deal but this was the most difficult section and it got annoying. Stealth just isn’t good, despite the urging to hide and not kill. Plus, and I’m not sure if this was part of the ‘mess with your head’ them of the game, but doing well will have Red reward you with new weapons. Which he would then get annoyed about if you have the audacity to use them. And although I enjoyed the plot overall, some of it came off like a gritty episode of Eastenders. Also, Black himself will usually react to a piece of important info, but other times he’ll find something crucial and not comment only then to be shocked at the reveal later, like, mate?, we learned that awhile ago, keep up! . The phone has a lot of apps but most aren’t used often so cycling through it can be a pain sometimes. At times it felt like the developers had too many ideas and tried to do too much.

Despite all that, I had a good time with this and it’s worth a look if you’re at all into psychological thriller type games, there’s plenty of interesting ideas here and it’s clear a lot of love and effort went into this. Once I started it I had to get it finished so that’s always a good sign. It’s on PS Plus atm

#Get even #get even game #farm51 #foxgames

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