#and flamboyantry. and their story. god how grateful i am to have them to escape to. to see gay puppy love and revel in it
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Visit Tumblr Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
Tumblr’s reach among the 26-to-35-year-olds in the US is 11%.
Text
.
#i was just gonna go to sleep without mentioning this and blah with all the drama rt now it’s not like an important take or anything just#a reminder#today and the last week has been really hard for me. ive wanted a puppy for five years and to finally GET what you want most is amazing but#my body has like decided that thats what it was staying held together for and now that i have her im falling apart. everything hurts#more than usual. and it’s chronic so thats saying a lot. i tried practicing today now my painting is done and it was like 10 of 10 pain#i could barely sit there and i just. really felt like giving into whatever release this is. and i felt like#‘i dont need to stay alive anymore.’ and then obviously i was like WOAH where tf did that come from that’s not normal. and i think it’s just#the convergence of everything? the election? the boy at work who flirted with me and i felt so... nothing. so small and girl and sweet all#the things i hate myself for when im alone. the things i wear in public as a front. and now at home too#my parents surprise voted early today and i cant bring myself to ask ‘did it work? did all the arguing and articles and commentary on news#work? did you actually vote for the not fascist?’ i cant do it. i dont want to know. it hurts too much it just hurts too much and i cant.#i miss being gay. you know#you know what i mean. i miss being alone i miss knowing who i am i miss my old life no matter how lonely it was#and i decided hey ill log on here before bed and you know? what brought me comfort? these two ridiculous boys we all love. thier flirtings#and flamboyantry. and their story. god how grateful i am to have them to escape to. to see gay puppy love and revel in it#in the beauty of it the embarassment the goofiness the joy#they gave us that and so much more#and i love having someone to root for. someone like me. watching Louis’ situation and just EDGE OF MY SEAT cheering him on to win like#the king he is. so grateful for that. and this fandom. and this place. and now im gonna go to sleep silent crying so i dont wake the puppy.#love u all#personal#tw mental health
13 notes
·
View notes