#and fell in love with charlotte wells

[saintjudes]

listen always love the baftas but michelle yeoh and brendan fraser (and colin farrell !!!!! ) were right there and y'all still didn't pick them

[july-19th-club]

i love when characters suck and are bad people like the thing about murphy is that i liked him before he was the incredible wife guy (which is also pretty great, dont get me wrong) but like. i thought he was cool when he was a horrible jackass that everyone hated . like he was interesting before he got morals; he was interesting as a guy who gets lynched in a frontier justice display of retaliation for a murder because he just seems like the kind of dude who would murder someone. and he is! just not that dead guy, specifically. whereas the actual killer is a twelve-year-old girl who the whole crew spends the episode trying to proctect from any kind of punishment, while murph runs around trying and failing to get anyone to admit out loud that the only reason there's a difference between punishing him and punishing her is because he has a bad personality . and also the murders but at that point in the show he hadn't killed anyone, he just seemed like he would

[neil-gaiman]

This isn’t a question, but I want to thank you for your books and how they’ve impacted my life.

Over thirteen years ago, I read Neverwhere for the first time and it changed what kind of writer I wanted to be. I went on to read more of your books—my other two favourites were The Graveyard Book and The Ocean at the End of the Lane.

About 11 or so years ago, I asked you on Twitter if I could read Stardust on a Twitch livestream, and you responded, “Fine by me”. It was one of my best streams, and while life got in the way of me doing more, I still remember it incredibly fondly.

Ten years ago I had a baby, and while he was an infant, I read him, Fortunately, the Milk, in an attempt to read him a book. He didn’t seem interested. I decided I’d try again some other time perhaps. But I did resolve to get him to read The Graveyard Book someday.

Nine years ago, when I was a mother of a one-year-old, I posted a status on Facebook simply saying, “We do not forget.”

Two years ago, I went on holiday, and I downloaded the audio book version of The Graveyard Book from our local library. My eight-year-old son listened to it as he fell asleep, though he ended up missing some parts, and we shelved it.

Last year, he read Coraline and didn’t like it. That isn’t your fault. He read Charlotte’s Web and didn’t like that either. He just didn’t quite have the understanding for them.

This year, he read Coraline and liked it. I told him it was from the same author as The Graveyard Book. He lamented that he never finished The Graveyard Book, and I said he could always download it from the library again.

Then about a month ago, he and I went through a tough time. I was really stressed about life, he wasn’t doing so well either, and our relationship got strained. I was angry with him all the time. I needed a break from him, or I thought I did. But one day when he was at his dad’s I realised that I wouldn’t get this time back. That I needed to fix it. So I asked him if he wanted me to read to him at bedtime. Just like when he was little. And we settled on The Graveyard Book.

On nights when he got to bed on time, I’d read a chapter. It often meant stretching past bedtime, but I could never stop halfway. It had been years since I’d read it too, and I found myself remembering things I’d forgotten. I’d watch his dark eyes widen whenever things got exciting, and I loved when he would interrupt me with an important revelation. “It’s Scarlett! His friend!” he’d say. “The dog! The grey dog!” “I know what Silas is!” He would tell me that I did the voices so well, that it seemed to match each character so perfectly.

We didn’t read every night, but it was a treat when we did. One night we had an argument and he told me he hated me. That he wished I was dead. And that he wanted to be with his dad. I told him to go take a shower, and that I’d ask his dad to come get him. His dad said no, but agreed to talk to him on the phone. After the shower, my son apologised for what he said. I said okay, and told him to call his dad to chat. After their call, he asked if we would still have story time. I asked if he preferred that or to have some space. He said he wanted both, but wanted story time more than space. So I read to him. It was the chapter when Bod and Silas argued, and then apologised to each other. Halfway through that chapter, my son asked for snuggles. I said, what happened to space? And he said, “I want snuggles more than space.”

We were sad when it ended. We finished it last weekend. I cried as I read it. But it was a beautiful sadness. We’ve talked about it a bit since then, to process it. He says he would like to read more about Silas and Bod’s adventures and asked if there was fan fiction about it. I told him to look, and to write some if there wasn’t. Perhaps I’ll write some too, just for him.

Last night he was at his dad’s and I was browsing Facebook and sent him a couple of his old pictures. Then I found an old post. From exactly nine years ago. And so I sent it to him.

It brought tears to my eyes. I did not remember making that post, and I’ve forgotten a great deal over the years, but I hope I do not forget these little moments with my son. But even if I do, I have them written down here to remind me again.

And thank you. For the words you’ve written and the impact you’ve had on our lives and hearts. I hope that your life holds the same amount of joy and love that you’ve given to others with your words.

That made me so happy. Thank you. I hope you and your son keep growing together.

[maidservant-hecubus]

My father is an Ashkenazi Jew. His parents were first generation Americans. Their parents escaped the pogroms in Russia and Ukraine and came to find their American dream. They fought in wars and opened businesses and assimilated and my generation barely has a few words of Yiddish between us. My mother is as much of a WASP as it gets. American Revolutionaries and Signers and some household name civil war feature players. Not old money, but old America and undoubtedly white. I'm patrilineal. Not a Jew to a lot of Jews. Not a Jew to a lot of my Jewish family. Even though i was raised Jewish. Even though I look like my father. Even though i got enough of something in my DNA to get asked "What are you?" more often than not. More often than I'm just accepted at face value as "white". When i was little we lived in an Irish Catholic neighborhood. Like the 5-10 kids in every family sort of Irish catholic neighborhood. The kids calling me a christ killer and refusing to play with me because they heard it from their parents sort of irish catholic neighborhood. For some reason my parents tried to send me to the catholic school down the street. I lasted less than a week because i didn't understand their rituals and their language and they found out my father was a Jew and they couldn't have a christ killer in their midst. I was just sad i didn't get to wear the cute plaid skirt anymore. So i went to the public school and my well meaning shiksa mother who never converted but learned the Chanukah prayers and helped cook Seder dinners came to the school to teach the class about Chanukah. She taught them songs and all the kids got dreidels and had so much fun spinning the top for chocolate coins. It was nice to feel normal. A few weeks later a boy in a higher grade attacked me on the way to the bus and smashed my art project (we had made pig noses from solo cups to celebrate reading charlotte's web) into my face and called me a filthy jew. I didn't understand, i was more upset to lose the project i was so proud of. Other things happened. Things I wont talk about because putting them in context would doxx me. But a million reminders that i wasn't one of them. I wasn't welcome because i was Jewish. My parents divorced. My mother left. Far away so I'd only see her a handful of times growing up. And I went to live with my Dad in a city that seemed like it was overflowing with Jews. Everyone knew my holidays! In public school the teachers looked like my family and had familiar sounding names. We had the high holy days off just like christmas or easter. We sang Chanukah songs in the winter recital and nobody's mom had to come teach them to the class. Finally I belonged! My friends and cousins started planning for their b mitzvah celebrations and i asked for my own. I asked to go to hebrew school so i could be more like the people i belonged with and celebrate the things i loved about myself and them. "But you're not jewish." My father would say. This was news to me. The christ killer. The filthy jew. But a 10 year old has little power over their lives. So i didn't go. I didn't have a bat mitzva while my cousins had theirs. It was okay because i still belonged more than i ever had. But i was still jewish enough to keep the holidays and pray and fast and get sent with a box of matzo to my WASP grandmothers for easter, and have matzo packed in my lunch to eat in AP algebra in 7th grade and get asked if I'm a "Yid" by the teacher. And still to this day not know if it was endearment or insult but by then I knew even in this magical city being a Jew wasn't always safe. in highschool I tried to take hebrew lessons with a friend in a similar situation as me. She was also hungry to reconnect. I don't remember why the classes or the friendship fell through, but they did. My next "friend", a goy raised catholic from another neighborhood, liked to accuse me of being money driven when i picked up a penny on the sidewalk or tried to ask who was going to pay for the zine's she wanted to publish.

 "What are you?" I'd get asked a lot on the street by curious strangers, "Where are you from?" "Are you Italian?" Always Italian. I never really understood that, but its become code in my head for "You look like you're white but something about you is very not white and I just can't place it, so Italian seems safe and polite." I'm not here to unpack the Italian part of all that. I don't even know what I'm unpacking for myself by writing this except I've been sick for days and I'm so tired and this is all that my foggy brain can wrap itself around. Later I'm an adult and on my own and getting bloodwork done. The Nurse is a black woman and so sweet to me. She can tell I'm nervous about the needles because I've already stumbled through my apologies for my herd to find veins. So she distracts me with small talk. Where do i live? I tell her. She looks worried for me. Tells me that it used to be a nice neighborhood before white people took it over and she warns me like she's my own mother to be careful because they aren't safe. I doublecheck the skin she's putting a needle into. Whatever she sees isn't white. I love her for it. For a moment I belong there with her. She doesn't ask what I am or where i'm from, but she knows what i'm not. I'm the only one keeping the holidays with my family. We celebrate Passover because I go home to my fathers and cook the dinner and print out the Haggadah and lead the Seder to the tune of my drunk catholic stepmother eating my food and telling me i'll never be a jew. She's more of a jew than I'll ever be because she grew up in a jewish neighborhood and her friends were all jews and she married a jew and i was just playing pretend. I stopped going home for holidays and they stopped observing anything except Christmas. I marry a goy. "Is he a jew?" is the first thing my father asks and he's disappointed when i say no. He's abusive, i run. I end up living in the attic of this older old money WASP couple who need a live in house sitter. They're pillars of their church and they know someone from the WASP side of my family very well and its a funny coincidence and they think i belong there. I know from their divest from Israel bumper stickers that i don't. Then they find out I consider myself Jewish and i see the light in their eyes die and its replaced by something hard and disappointed. Now, while writing this, i can laugh about being the jew in someone's attic. But then, it was only a few months after that they started coming up with excuses for why I needed to move out. I did, their excuses never manifested into reality. I got married again. A jew this time! a Jewish medical professional liek grandma always wanted. She's a convert and her ex was a rabbinical student. I think maybe i'm home finally. She has to understand. I'm not Jewish enough for her. We don't keep holidays at home because i'm not a jew. I cry every year when pesach comes and goes and i haven't recited the plagues or eaten matzo piled high with horseradish. She insists on putting up a christmas tree. She turns abusive. I run.

I'm alone now and no longer in that magic jewish city. I'm far away and surrounded by mega churches and cows and the bagels suck and people quote the bible at me like some call and response that i don't have the cheat code for and I don't belong here at all but i'm finally finally free to light my menorah and recite the plagues and study torah with the group i found here on tumblr who love and accept me even though i'm patrilineal. Oct. 7th happened a few weeks after I moved here. I worry about my family back home and i think no one will look for Jews here among the cows and mega churches, so I can be a safe place for them to run if things get bad again. But i still don't fit in here. I don't look right. The last name I have now is common here and too white for whatever people see when they look in my face. I get interrogated about it a lot. But i learned quickly how to smile and say "have a blessed day". I hide my menorah when maintenance comes to work on my apartment. I flew home last month. Just for a visit. I've never been away from home this far or this long. And I'm the type that covers nerves and anxiety with chattiness, so at the airport i made a for-now-friend while we both waited for the plane to board. She's Puerto Rican. We talk about our lives. Our families. Her twin sister and i go by the same nickname and so we're family now. We talk about food. So much food and how much we love cooking and how important food was at home. "Are you Italian?" she asks as we're stepping through the hatch into the plane. Why always Italian? I wonder for the millionth time in my life. And I freeze up for a moment between fighting my carry-on over the gap and terror that I'm about to see the light go out behind her eyes and i'll lose this for-now friend. "No," i laugh but its not a real laugh and i see the concern in her face as we squeeze through the aisle because she can hear the apprehension in my voice, "I'm Jewish." And something strange happened because her face lit up and she smiled and said "No way?! You guys have GREAT food!"

[russellsppttemplates]

Hii love🥺 I saw this tiktok and immediately thought how cute it would be with Charles or Lando. Like its the readers first pregnancy and going through a hard time adjusting to her new body . Tysm if you do this ❤️ https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGe58WWrr/

Cw: body changes because of pregnancy

"What's the matter, amour?", Charles walked into your closet when he heard sniffles coming from there, "they don't fit anymore", you pouted. You stood there, your cream coloured jeans unzipped and unbuttoned as your baby bump was visible.

"It's normal, right?", he said, immediately regretting his choice of words, "I mean, our baby is growing because your body is doing this amazing thing of growing them, so it's going to happen, and it's okay, you're still the most beautiful woman for me", he tried.

"But I wanted these to fit!", you pouted again, wiping your tears.

"Would it help if I told you I don't really like them anyway?", he attempted, making you giggled a little, "you said they made my butt perky and nice", you argued.

"Your butt looks nice and perky in anything, Y/N", he tried again, "Guess what? We can go shopping for those maternity jeans that have that elasticated band so it's comfy for you", he suggested.

"But they're all ugly and weird!", you grumbled, "it will be like a teletubby, might as well start singing and dancing like them - how does it go? Tinky-Winky, Dipsy, Laa Laa, Po!", you sang.

"You'd be the cutest one if you ever were one", Charles said, "they're nice looking enough", he joked when you went up to hug him, hoping it would put you out of your misery. You knew it wasn't a big deal, but between hormones, this was how you felt like.

"I'd be Po, it's the red one - Ferrari all the way", you smiled up at him, kissing his jaw, "maybe we can look into them - the jeans, not the teletubbies", you said.

"They're really nice now, I think - Charlotte told you the other day, didn't she? Maternity clothes are a lot more fashionable now", he cooed as you nodded, "okay, we can try, I'll change into something else", you whispered.

"What about this dress? You'll look so gorgeous in it, little round bump showing", he tried, getting the piece from the hanger and kissing your lips.

When you got dressed, Charles whistled exaggeratedly, "look at you, amour! You're going to kill me with all of your beauty!", he dramatised as he fell into the bed, "shut up", you mumbled despite the blush on your cheeks, "you look so beautiful, mon ange", he got up to kiss your lips, "let's go shopping for this cute little bump", he smiled.

(Thank you for sending this in ✨️)

[msschemmenti]

emily (derogatory) 🐮

jemily x reader

a/n: short and sweet lil drabble because i’ve got baby fever

“yeah?” y/n answered the phone distractedly.

jj and emily frowned in confusion as the younger woman’s voice filtered though the cell phone. her voice almost cartoony as she spoke. “baby? is that you?” jj asked.

“uh huh, what’s up?” y/n continued in the same voice.

“um, we just got back from the case and were about to head home.” emily supplied.

“yeah, do you need anything?” jj asked.

“oh yes! would you guys stop by the store and get me some baby wipes and a pack of pacifiers?” y/n asked sweetly.

“sure baby.” jj agreed, still very confused.

emily, forever direct piped in next, “is this some new kink youre exploring? we’ll get it but i’ll be honest i don’t know if i can get down with the whole little girl thing.”

the line went silent for a second before y/n scoffed in disbelief, “em honey, i mean this in the nicest way possible. shut up.” y/n heard the older woman huff and jj’s laugh. “it’s not for me, it’s for my niece who im watching this weekend.”

both women ‘oh’ in understanding and emily very sheepishly apologizes but y/n just shakes her head and bids them farewell. she looks down at the baby in her lap and grins before tickling her belly. “auntie’s girlfriend is a little crazy!” she cooed causing her niece to giggle.

-

when y/n swung the door open, both jj and emily’s hearts nearly melted at the sight of the baby resting on her hip. the littler girl was nestled into their girlfriends side, her tiny fingers wrapped around the necklace on her neck. the sight was absolutely adorable. “hi,” y/n smiled, turning to walk back into the house.

jj was the first to follow, itching to get her hands on that baby. “well hello there. who is this angel?”

emily closed the door and followed both women to the living room and fell into an arm chair across from the couch and watched.

“this is charlotte, but i call her lottie.” y/n grinned down at the baby, turning her to face both jj and emily. “isn’t she just the cutest?”

“oh she sure is, she’s got a head full of hair! gosh i bet your sister had crazy heart burn.” jj cooed reaching out to tickle charlotte’s stomach. the baby giggled and smiled at the blonde fondly. “she’s just about as cute as her auntie.” jj grinned allowing the baby to wrap her cubby hand around her index finger. it wasn’t long before charlotte was leaning her head toward jj and it was taking everything in her not to completely melt into a puddle.

y/n chuckled taking the hint, “lottie, i get it i get it i know she’s pretty.” y/n peaked around her niece’s head to check to see if jj was okay to take the baby and when she saw the way she was cooing and nodding at charlotte she extended her arms softly— passing charlotte over.

jj instantly melted against the back of the couch, attention fully capture by the baby. y/n watched, very familiar with the power little charlotte yielded. “oh charlotte! you are just so perfect.”

emily watched the scene fondly, she’d always loved watch jj with children and she wasn’t surprised that that had extended to y/n. jj so easily slipped into the high pitched baby talk and charlotte was in love. y/n rose from the couch and draped herself over emily’s lap with a soft kiss. “hi.”

emily tore her eyes from jj and the baby and squeezed y/n’s waist affectionately, “hi yourself.” y/n pressed a kiss to emily’s cheek before leaning into her side comfortably.

“hope you guys weren’t hoping for a wild and crazy weekend in the streets, my sister’s husband is having some sort of procedure and she’ll have to take care of him for the next couple days. and i’m obviously lottie’s favorite so im a mother for the weekend.” y/n explained.

“when do we ever have crazy weekends in the streets… now had you said sheets,” emily teased with a knowing smirk.

“god, if you weren’t so hot i’d wonder how you pulled any women being that dorky.” y/n teased causing emily to poke her side playfully.

“i am hot, aren’t i?” emily grinned.

“yeah and dorky as hell.”

emily pinched at the younger woman’s side and turned to reply but both women froze under jj and charlotte’s gaze, “look charlotte, your auntie and emily are being very naughty right now, aren’t they? i’m sure they don’t want me to separate them.” jj warned with a smile causing both y/n and emily to sink back into the chair sheepishly.

-

somehow, emily had been left to sit with charlotte while she finished her nap. jj had run home to collect appropriate clothes for the weekend and y/n was showering for bed. charlotte was laying on her back on the floor surrounded by pillows and blankets. and emily, well she’d started off lounging across the couch but charlotte had made a weird noise and somehow emily had ended up on the floor right next to her. watching her chest rise and fall attentively.

being that close and paying that much attention means when charlotte’s eyes suddenly twitched and her mouth twitch, emily’s eyes widened. the shower was still running and she knew jj wouldn’t be back soon enough. so when charlotte’s eyes locked on emily’s they both just stared a bit. emily had experience with children from the job but she hadn’t had to put anything she knew into practice in quite some time.

“hey.” she spoke staring down at the baby. no baby talk in sight. charlotte, as if she understood, groaned back her own greeting. “your auntie and jj are busy so it’s just us for right now.” charlotte huffed and emily too that as a response of course. “huh, you’re pretty smart. beauty and brains. definitely got that from your auntie.” emily brought her hand up to adjust the huge bow y/n had insisted on putting on the baby but charlotte caught her finger easily and pulled it toward her mouth. “nope, you can’t eat people. your auntie is really scared of cannibalism and i think she’d be really upset if she found out you tried to eat my finger. she really likes them.” emily monologued and tried to pull her fingers away from the baby.

charlotte didn’t like that. she didn’t like that one bit and when her face started to contort emily sighed and gave in to the big brown eyes staring back at her. “fine fine, no need to cry. you can have my pinky— we don’t get much use out of it anyway.”

after a while charlotte started losing interest in her fingers and reached for the necklace hanging from her neck. and then somehow emily had started making noises to entertain charlotte. she’d stumbled on animal sounds at some point and that turned out to be her biggest mistake.

“what does a cow say? you probably haven’t even seen a cow yet. just know they sound like this—“ emily leaned over and ‘moo’d’ quietly at charlotte. charlotte’s eyes widened and her tiny little lip trembled and before emily knew what was happening she was wailing. and of course like some sort of mothers intuition both y/n and jj suddenly appeared rushing to soothe the baby.

“emily what happened?” jj asked as she ran a hand over charlotte’s head while y/n bounced her against her chest.

“did you know if you moo at babies, they’ll cry?” emily shrugged sheepishly up at the women from the floor.

“emily…” both of her girlfriends groaned shaking their heads.

[venuszn]

☆ : 100 Days

Summary / Bada asks you to give her one hundred days to make you fall in love with her.

Cw / Best friends to lovers, Angst, Fluff, Smut, Fingering, Nipple play, Cunnilingus (Bada and reader give and receive), Scissoring, Dom!Bada, Fem!reader, Emotionally constipated reader, Whipped Bada, MDNI

Author’s note / Thank you for 100 followers ahhhh ! This is my gift from me to all of you. Thank you for liking and reading my fics ! I took inspiration from the movie ‘500 Days of Summer’ and mayhaps a little bit of dialogue inspo from the Netflix show ‘Queen Charlotte’ - if you can spot it then great. I hope you enjoy and as always feel free to let me know your thoughts 💗

Wc / 8.5K words

Day 7

Bada took your hand into hers, locking her fingers inbetween your own. The warmness and firmness of your hands together gave you an unfamiliar feeling as the taller girl walked ahead of you, shopping basket in one hand and you on her other as she snaked her way through the busy aisles muttering small ‘excuse me’’s and ‘thank you’’s as she went. You let Bada guide you and your gaze fell to meet her hand as it protectively gripped yours. You brushed the feeling off, deciding that it was normal - you were friends after all. It’s normal to feel certain emotions around your friends, especially friends who held your hand with such care and warmth as Bada did. It was a simple and cute gesture, that's all it was - cute. Nothing more.

“I don’t know why this has to be a two person job. I could have done the shopping, Bada.” You said as you both finally emerged from the chaos of people around you, your brows slightly furrowed at the busyness around you. Bada adjusted her speed and walked beside you, feet matching your pace and hand remaining firmly in yours. 

She looked down at you with a small smile, “Well, this is what couples do,” she said your name with a hint of amusement at your small frown. “They go shopping together. It’s cute and it’s domestic.” 

You playfully rolled your eyes. “Right, sure. Well, you don’t need to keep on holding my hand. I’m not a baby.”

Bada let go of your hand as she reached to add another item into the basket. She didn’t make a move to reconnect your hands but teased, "I could argue that you actually are my baby now.” You scoffed and jokingly smacked her arm and she laughed.

The cold breeze brushed against your once warm hand and you slightly missed the feeling.

As you walked Bada cleared her throat, “I know you’re used to being independent - doing everything by yourself. But you have me now, so let me be here for you.”

Your eyes fell to the floor as you digested her words. You knew you had your defences up. Your walls were impenetrable towers and Bada had made it her mission to scale upwards in hopes of reaching the top. She was prepared to defeat any fiery beast, whether it be of doubt and fear, that guarded you. Bada wanted to rescue you. 

You said nothing but reached for her hand, eyes avoiding her direction as you took a hold of her palm in yours. You then muttered, “My hand was cold.”

Bada gazed down at you, a small smile on her lips as she adored you. She thought that you were the most adorable thing ever as she raised your intertwined hands and pressed her lips gently against the back of yours. 

“You’re so cute.”

You felt a strange feeling rise up your body and your face felt warm. You ignored it and followed your instinct - to deflect.

“And you’re obsessed with me.” 

Bada chuckled and squeezed your hand gently.

“Wasn’t it obvious ?”

Day 0

You stumbled through the front door, heels in one hand and bag in the other as you managed to twist the handle open with your elbow - a talent you had perfected due to your frequent walks of shame. Although, ‘shame’ wasn’t what you usually felt after such encounters. Sex was nothing but transactional to you, you had sexual needs that needed to be met and then you would repay the favour. You had mastered the act of separating your emotions from intimacy in all forms - especially romantic relationships. However, this time you did feel a little bit of shame and perhaps a little bit of rage as you kicked the door shut with the back of your foot before your body fell slack against it in defeat. 

Your tired eyes scanned the apartment, there was no sign of your roommate apart from a steaming cup of herbal tea that sat on the kitchen island waiting for you. You smiled to yourself at how attentive she always was toward you. She always did small gestures like this, despite not being in support of your nightly escapades, she always made sure you came home to your go-to hangover relief. You dropped your bag and heels and made your way over to sit down before a distant voice you recognised called your name.

You turned to see your roommate, Bada Lee, as she speedwalked down the hallway to you. “You’re home. Good morning.” She quickly greeted with a small smile as she hurriedly beelined around your shared apartment, picking up her keys and then putting on her trainers. 

“Good morning. Yes, I'm home. Thank goodness.”

Bada paused in her actions as she heard your words. “What happened ?” 

You laughed dryly before taking a sip of your tea. “She had a girlfriend this entire time.” 

It almost sounded like a cruel joke hearing yourself say it.

“Fuck. How did you find out ?”

“Long story short - I was hooking up with a sleazebag that couldn't go two weeks without sex. So she decided to lie and say she was single whilst her girlfriend was actually away visiting family . . . I feel like shit.” You groaned into your palm before running your fingers through your hair.

Bada walked over and sat beside you.

“I hope you know that’s not your fault.”

“I feel like I should have been more aware. This is exactly why I don’t do relationships - it gets messy. I should have cut it off after the first couple nights like I usually do, but I got comfortable thinking we could also be friends.”

Bada stared at your deflated frame and internally prayed for the moment that you would finally notice her. She had been by your side ever since you both met a couple years ago in college and had become roomies. You both became inseparable; but she saw you in a light which you did not reflect with her - she was in love with you but you had an aversion to the emotion. 

“Anyways,” you said, pulling her out of her thoughts. “You have somewhere to be don’t you ? I don’t want to make you late.”

Bada immediately interjected, “It can wait. It’s fine, if you need me to stay I will.”

“Go, Bada. It’s fine. I’ll be fine.” You said as you stood up and gave her shoulder a squeeze as you walked past her. “I’ll be going to sleep now anyway. See you later.” 

Bada watched you leave - a recurring pattern that she was becoming sick of. She was sick of watching you leave to go and spend the night with other people. She was sick of watching you leave to go and isolate yourself. You had your walls high up and you only ever depended on yourself - nobody else. But Bada knew that you deserved better. She knew that you could be happy with the right person. 

So she decided that she would take a chance and try to be that person for you.

Later that evening, you found yourself on the couch in your bestfriends arms as you cuddled, her arms wrapped around you from behind and you both laid there - a gesture that wasn’t unusual to the both of you. You both lay in relative silence as she played with your hair, your eyes trained on the television in front of you but hers focused on you. 

She swallowed her nerves and cleared her throat, “How are you feeling ?”

Her fingers twirled strands of your hair and her grip on you tightened slightly. 

“I’m okay now. I’m over it. Shit happens but life goes on.”

Bada lightly called your name.

You hummed. 

“Give me one hundred days.” 

“What ?”

“Give me one hundred days and I can make you fall in love with me.”

You nearly burst out laughing, thinking she was joking but when you turned to face her you saw seriousness written on her face.

“You’re not joking ?” You said as you removed yourself from her arms and stood up; taking a couple steps back.

“No. I’m not.” Bada rose to her feet, her tall frame exceeding yours by inches as she stared down at you with eyes full of determination. “I am tired of watching you be miserable. I’m tired of sitting back and watching you leave and spend the night with random people that don’t care about you. I know you, and I know that you’re not happy. I know that you could be happier and I know that I can do that for you. I'm your best friend but give me one hundred days - give me one summer to show you how you deserve to be treated. I want to show you that you deserve to be loved and you deserve to feel it too.”

You stood there, words dying on your tongue as your head spinned. “Bada, where is this coming from ? You know how I feel about relationships . . .”

“I do know yes. But I know it’s because you’re afraid of being hurt.” 

Bada took a step toward you.

“But you don’t have to be afraid with me,” your name fell from her lips as she gazed down at you. “I would never dream of hurting you. I’m not perfect, I know. But I can promise you that I am worth taking the chance with. Just one hundred days, spend the summer by my side and if you want to stop at any moment you can. We can end it at any time and forget it ever happened.”

“But the fact that you’re my best friend scares me even more, Bada . . .”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to make a decision right now. I just thought I'd put it out there. If you ever decide to give love a chance, I'm here to guide you through it.”

The next day you woke up, wondering if it was all a dream. That your best friend had not basically admitted to being in love with you. You had love for Bada, but it wasn’t romantic. She was your best friend. You loved spending time in her company, you loved how she would always make you laugh, you loved how she would hold you in her arms as you both laid on the couch watching a series that the both of you knew you would never finish. You loved how her fingers felt in your hair when she would mindlessly play with it and you loved how you both seemed to complete each other. But Bada was your best friend - it was simply platonic. And that is what you planned to tell her that morning when you made your way out of your room; but a familiar voice grabbed your attention. 

“I know she’s here. Just let me see her, I want to apologise.”

“I told you to leave. She’s not here and even if she was, there’s no way I'd let you speak to her,” Bada’s chest puffed out slightly as she glared down at the girl standing at the door. 

“Go home. Now.”

Goosebumps rose on your skin. You had never seen Bada like that before, her intimidating aura completely caught you off guard as you stood and watched the encounter unfold.

“Or what ?” The girl scoffed.

“Or I'll shove those shitty roses down your throat. And I mean what I say - which might be a foreign concept to you. So get lost.”

“Who the fuck are you ? You’re not her fucking girlfriend, let me speak to her for fucks sake.” The girl cursed, quickly losing the last ounce of her composure. 

You knew Bada wouldn’t stand down and you quickly walked over and poked your head from behind her tall frame. 

“Hi. You’re speaking to me now and I'm telling you to go home. I don’t want to hear your excuses. You lied - end of.”

Your eyes immediately caught the sight of the bouquet of roses in the girl's hands and you scoffed at the audacity. 

“There’s no way. Please, go home. I don’t have time for this.”

The girl gripped the roses tighter as she held them out to you. “I wanted to apologise. I’m sorry for what happened and how things played out. I’m single now and I want to win you back. I hope that we can finally date now-”

“Of course you’re single, you're a liar and a cheater !” You laughed bitterly.

You hadn't noticed, but Bada had taken a step back, allowing you to take the reins. She stood to the side, hands in pockets and a small smirk on her face as she admired you right in that moment - your rage making her fall harder.

“And if I wanted to date someone it most certainly would not be you. Now leave and don’t come back. Don’t contact me either.”

You slammed the door. 

You let out a breath and turned back to face Bada. 

“Can you believe her ? Bringing me roses and asking me to date her . . .” You scoffed as the anger slowly sizzled within you. 

“If only she knew that your favourite flowers are tulips.” 

Her words extinguished any flicker of anger left within you.

You both stood there, looking at the other for a moment.

“Bada, are you in love with me ?” You breathed out.

She paused for a moment before responding.

“I am.”

You were so dazed that you weren't sure if your heart skipped a beat or sank into your chest. 

“For how long ?”

“For as long as I can remember.”

You exhaled.

“What you said yesterday . . . Did you mean it ?”

“I did. I want to be the one to make you happy.”

You breathed out a nervous breath, “Bada, I can’t promise you anything. I can’t promise that I actually will fall in love with you at the end of the summer. I can’t promise that I won’t self sabotage and maybe ruin our friendship in the process. That’s if I agree to this.”

Bada took a tentative step toward you.

“I won’t let our friendship be ruined. I won’t give that up but if you choose to then there’s not much I can do. But just know that whatever you decide, right now or further down the line, I’ll respect it.”

You took a deep inhale and played with your fingers as the nerves crawled up your body. Disbelief in yourself at your following words.

“Then, okay.”

“Okay ?”

“You’re right, I am scared of being hurt and of love. But I also trust you - you’re my best friend and there’s nobody else I'd rather try this with.”

You took a step forward.

“So, okay. I’ll give you one hundred days to make me fall in love with you.”

Bada’s heart bounced around her chest in a dance of glee and she smiled down at you, her hand reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.

“You won’t regret it, I promise.” 

And that was how it began - Day 1. 

Day 16

Hushed laughter and giggles filled the summer evening air as you and Bada walked arm in arm down the dimly lit street.  

“You are definitely drunk.” Bada laughed as she held onto you tighter, steadying your footsteps. 

“I am not !” You gasped overdramatically as you snapped your head to face her. “I’m a little tipsy, that’s all. And so are youuuu.” You sang as you poked her chest, giggling as the alcohol made you feel light and free as a feather.

Bada grabbed your wrist and pulled you aside. 

“Watch where you’re going. We only had about two drinks, I forgot how much of a lightweight you are.” She teased.

“You’re a little tipsy too, don’t lie.” 

“But I’m not a lightweight like you.”

You whacked her arm jokingly and detached yourself from her hold, attempting to walk ahead of her but she chuckled and swiftly caught your arm, gently tugging you back. 

“Now where do you think you’re going, hm ?”

“Away from you.” You stubbornly replied but allowed her to place her hand in yours once more.

“Did you enjoy dinner ?” The older girl asked, fingers now locked with yours.

“I did, yes. It was nice. Thank you again for taking me out.”

“And again, it’s my pleasure. I'm glad you had a good time.” Bada smiled down at you and you avoided her gaze.

Suddenly the night sky rumbled as thunder rippled through the air. Almost instantaneously, raindrops began falling, accelerating in speed as the heavens opened up. 

You squealed with laughter and Bada’s grip tightened as she pulled you through the rain. 

“Bada, run !” You laughed as the both of you picked up speed and ran for the trees in hopes of shelter. 

“You just had to suggest that we walk.” You laughed as the raindrops fell mostly around the both of you now that you were under the protective umbrella of a tree’s leaves, the occasional droplet slipped its way through the gaps of the branches.

“I thought a moonlit walk would be romantic.” Bada laughed as she wiped her face, her fringe stuck to her forehead. 

You smiled at the sight of her. 

Bada smiled back as the both of you stood there, held hostage by the plummeting raindrops.

You tore yourself away from her gaze, cleared your throat and turned your back to her. The sight of the gleaming full moon stole your attention and you pointed to it, “Bada, look. We can still watch the moon.”

“Uhuh.” The taller girl muttered as she was, instead, watching you. 

“It’s so pretty.” You gushed as you continued to face away from her.

“It is.” Bada wasn’t talking about the moon.

Bada reached out and gently took a hold of your fingers and turned you to face her. 

“You know how you always said that kissing in the rain was overdramatic and overdone in the movies ?” Bada muttered as her fingers grazed over your knuckles.

“Yeah . . .” 

She licked her lips and your heart thumped in your chest.

“Do you wanna be really overdramatic with me right now ?” 

You swore it was the alcohol in your system but the rain had sobered you up.

“Ok.” You whispered.

Bada took a step out into the rain and pulled you against her, foreheads meeting in the middle as the rain showered over the both of you. You licked your lips in anticipation, and Bada let out a small hum before her thumb brushed over your bottom lip.

Your breath caught in your throat. 

You reminded yourself that it was just a kiss.

“Do you want this ?” She said in a breathless whisper.

“I do.”

Bada didn’t hesitate as she grabbed your waist and pulled you impossibly closer to her, your lips collided in a desperate dance of both certainty and uncertainty. Bada was certain that right at that moment, you had completed her. The way you fit so perfectly in her hands, the way your lips melted together and tongues danced - she was certain. 

You, however, were uncertain. Uncertain of if you had just felt a crack form within the walls surrounding your heart. It was impossible. You imagined it. 

Because it was just a kiss.

Day 18

“Achoo !” 

You sneezed into the tissue and Bada passed you another. 

“This is your fault.” You coughed out before letting out another sneeze.

Bada sat beside you and draped a thick blanket around your frame. “You’ve said that five times already.”

You curled into the blanket and Bada wrapped an arm around you, her other hand holding a bowl toward you.

“Now, drink your soup. I just made it.”

After your date in the rain you had fallen sick and despite your persistent arguments that you were fine and could take care of yourself - Bada was right beside you, nursing you back to health. 

You had threatened her with the likely possibility that she too would fall sick but Bada responded by driving to the store, buying your favourite snacks and then making you a hot bowl of soup before she settled beside you on the couch, arms wrapped around you as they usually were.

You took a sip of your soup and you groaned.

“You’re making it so hard to stay mad at you.”

“You were never mad at me.”

Day 21

Bada groaned as she staggered into the living room, her duvet trailing behind her and swallowing her frame.

“I'm sick.”

You rolled your eyes and stood up.

“I told you you’d get sick. You didn’t listen, and you say I'm stubborn.”

Bada responded with another groan and a cough as she glided across the room in the oversized blanket before dramatically collapsing onto the couch. 

“Go back to bed, Bada. You’ll be comfier there.” You said as you busied yourself in the kitchen, preparing some breakfast for your roommate. 

Bada raised her head to look over to you. 

“Is that for me ?”

“It is.” 

“You’re so - ACHOO ! - cute.”

She wiped her nose and you snorted.

“Go back to bed.”

Day 48

You stood, fingers gripping the rubber basketball as you took a deep breath, eyes fixed on the target.

A few feet away from you stood three basketball hoops, and a row of soft plushies hung besides them on either side. There was only one last shot that stood in between you and your chosen soft toy. And you were aiming for the winning shot.

Bada stood behind you, her hands rested on your hips as she chanted words of encouragement into your ears.

“You got this. Just one last hoop.”

You took your stance and raised the ball slightly above your eye line, you then perched it on your fingertips as you aimed and then launched it at the hoop.

The basketball hit the backboard and then bounced onto the ring.

It edged along the circumference of the hoop almost in slow motion before it finally fell through the middle.

You cheered and jumped and Bada scooped you up into her strong embrace, spinning you around.

You laughed and she kissed your nose.

“Now, what will the lucky lady choose ?” The man working at the stall grinned as his arm stretched out, showcasing his collection of prizes.

You immediately pointed to a big dolphin plushie and the guy handed it over to you. You thanked him and then spun around before holding the cuddly toy out to Bada. She raised her brow slightly and you gently pushed the toy into her arms.

“It’s for you. A dolphin goes with the sea.”

Bada stood there, slightly taken aback but touched. She took the dolphin plushie from you and held it to her chest before she grabbed your chin with her thumb and index finger, angling your face upwards to face her.

“Thank you, baby.”

She closed the gap and softly kissed your lips.

Bada had taken you to the annual summer fair and you were honestly having a great time. There were times where you would forget the circumstances in which you were under - that your best friend was trying to make you fall in love with her. And days like this, where you both seemed to revel in each other’s company, overpowered the blaring sirens in your head each time you shared yearning touches and gentle kisses. You chalked it up to the fact that you were best friends, so of course it felt the way it did - so right.

Evening approached and you and Bada found yourselves in the carriage of a ferris wheel as it steadily travelled skywards. You mentioned that you wanted to see the fireworks and Bada took it upon herself to ensure that you did - from the sky. 

The evening sky bled to a deep blue. You watched as remnants of the summer sun, still lingering in light brush strokes, soon faded into the darkness as the night sky took command.

Bada’s body pressed up behind you, her arms on either side of you as she held onto the railing. You absentmindedly leaned back into her chest and she placed her chin on your shoulder, before ghosting her lips against the skin of your neck.

Shivers ran down your spine.

You parted your lips to say something but a bright shooting light rushed up into the sky before exploding into thousands of spectacular sparks. Countless more followed as the once empty canvas, that was the night sky, became an artwork of shimmering colours.

The romantic ambience of the night didn't escape you and neither did the pestering butterflies that fluttered around your stomach. 

Your carriage was nearing the top and Bada placed a hand on your waist and turned you around. Face to face with inches between you, ‘Have her eyes always shone like this ? Were they always this pretty ?’

“Bada . . .” You breathed out onto her nearing lips.

“Hm ?” Her hand snaked around your waist.

“I-I think I like you . . .”

Your words halted Bada in her motions and she stared at you as her eyes scanned your face.

“You do ?” She said with a hopeful breath.

You nod your head, swallowing hard.

“Don’t think about it.” You whisper to Bada but also to yourself as the realisation of your words hit you.

“But-”

“Just kiss me.”

You leaned in, eliminating all distance between the two of you. Your lips crashed against Bada’s and you felt her immediately pull you flush against her, in return, your arms found their way around her broad shoulders. Bada nibbled on your bottom lip and you parted them, making way for her wet tongue to explore your mouth. You felt her tongue meet yours and a moan escaped your lips. Hearing your desperate sounds, Bada’s hands slided down to your ass, giving it a squeeze before sliding back up your back and over your body as she worshipped you.

“Fuck. You’re so perfect.” The taller girl groaned before desperately reattaching her mouth to yours.

Sparks flew as your lips spoke in a dance of tenderness and yearning. Likewise, the sparks of fire that cascaded down the night sky fell around you both in a glistening waterfall of explosive vibrancy as you reached the top - lost in the hunger for each other.

Bada had never kissed you like that. She had never touched you like that or looked so deeply into your soul with such desire and the events and emotions from the night played over in your mind as you now sat besides her in the passenger seat as she drove the both of you home.

You entered into your shared apartment and Bada followed behind you, shutting the door. You turned to face her and she took a step toward you, eyes never breaking their contact.

Your heart wrestled with reason as you fought the urge to jump back into her arms.

You saw Bada bite her lip slightly as her eyes scanned your body.

“Um,” you cleared your throat, “I’ll be going to bed now.”

“O-oh yeah. Me too, it’s late.”

“Yeah.” 

You quickly set off for your room and shut the door behind you, body leant against it as you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. This was the right call, for sure. The tension was too high right now and you didn’t want to cross any lines that you couldn’t go back on.

You sighed and then dragged yourself to your bathroom, ready to wash off the thoughts that plagued your mind.

Bada sat on the edge of her bed, face in her hands as she fought the urge to go over to your room. The last thing she wanted was to go too fast, especially after you had just confessed to harbouring some feelings for her; she didn’t want to overwhelm you. But Bada swore that she didn’t imagine the look in your eyes or the way you held onto her as you kissed and touched. Did you want her the way she wanted you ?

Down the hall you paced around in your room. Picking at your fingernails as you deliberated the consequences of walking down the hallway and knocking on your best friend's door.

A brief moment passed.

“Fuck it.” You said under your breath as you strode over to swing open your door.

But before you stood said best friend, with a hand frozen in motion as if about to knock.

Your heart skipped several beats and found its way into your throat. Words failed to leave your lips as you stood frozen, eyes locked with Bada’s.

“Hey.” She muttered, licking her lips slightly as her chest rose and fell with anticipation.

“Hey.” You whispered back, heat rushing through your veins.

“I thought you were going to bed ?” You breathed out.

“I thought you were.”

“I can’t sleep.” 

“Neither can I.” Bada’s gaze intensified.

Your body took over your mind and you took a slow step backward into your room, eyes never leaving Bada’s.

She followed your lead and took a step forwards, shutting the door behind her with her foot, eyes never leaving yours.

“What are we doing ?” You whisper as the suffocating tension stole your breath away.

“Tell me to leave.” She breathed out as she stared into your eyes.

“I don't want that.” 

“What do you want ?” Bada gazed at you with want.

“Stay . . . Please.” 

You took a step forward.

“I’ll stay.” Bada muttered as she admired your features and took in the slight crease of your brow and the way you nibbled on your bottom lip. She knew you were nervous.

“We don’t have to do anything,” Bada said as she reached up and tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear.

“What if I want to . . .”

Bada’s eyes darkened slightly and she cupped your face in her gentle hands. 

“What do you want to do, hm ?”

“This.” 

You pressed your lips against hers in a fervent passion, your arms wrapped around her shoulders and hers grabbed onto your hips as she held you impossibly close. Your breaths mixed and small moans fell from your tongue as it danced along with hers. 

“Are you sure about this ?” Bada said in between kisses as the both of you stumbled across your room in the direction of your bed, lips refusing to part.

“I’m sure, Bada.” You whisper before Bada gently lowered you onto the bed.

Bada climbed on top of you and you lay there, lashes fluttering as you held her stare.

She licked her lips and leaned in to press a kiss behind your ear. You shivered and she began a tender trail of kisses down your neck muttering gentle whispers onto your warm skin as her hands slid under and up your shirt, fingers grazing your delicate body.

“Relax for me.”

Time seemed to stop as you and Bada laid there exploring each other's bodies. With the barrier of clothes and fabrics long gone, your bodies pressed together merging into one as her fingers slid in and out of you. Your hips bucked against her, desperately chasing the pleasure but Bada’s grip on your waist firmed as she held you in place.

“You’re so sensitive aren’t you ?” Bada muttered, her gaze deep with craving as her fingers continued their relentless pounding into your dripping cunt. She licked her lips. Your body was beautiful and she struggled to comprehend that the person laid bare before her wasn’t actually a being - heaven sent. But to her you were one and the same.

Moans and whimpers of her name fell from your lips and you grabbed onto her arm. “I-I'm close, Bada.”

She smirked down at you and lowered her head down to meet your aching core. Bada wasted no time and attached her plump lips to your clit, sucking and licking it as her fingers pumped in and out of you - speed increasing.

Your back arched and your fingers dug into the sheets beneath you as an earth shattering wave of pleasure crashed through your body causing your legs to shake. Bada moaned onto your clit as she sucked on it; the feeling of your walls contracting around her fingers turned her on even more and she lowered her tongue before licking your cunt dry as it dripped with your sweet release.

You laid breathless and legs twitching as you came down from your climax. Bada ran her hands softly over your sides as they travelled up your body. One hand rested on your neck and the other took your left breast into its palm before gently massaging it.

“You’re so beautiful.” She muttered before pressing her lips to yours in a messy open mouthed kiss, your tongues fought against the other as you tasted yourself on her.

You broke away from the kiss and sat up. “I wanna make you feel good too . . .” You looked up at the taller girl with pleading eyes.

Bada felt her heart flip and she bit her lip at the thought of you touching her.

“C’mere then, princess.”

Bada pulled you up on top of her and you straddled her waist. Her fingers dug into your hot skin and yours trailed along her chest, grazing over her nipples.

She inhaled a sharp breath and you smirked a little before taking her nipples in between your thumb and pointer and began rolling them. You felt as they quickly hardened and you lowered your head to her chest, gazing up at Bada as she gazed back down at you. Your lips parted and took Bada’s erect nipple into your mouth, tongue swirling around it as you licked her chest, savouring the taste of her skin and the sounds she made above you.

Bada moaned a little, hands gripped your waist as she pushed her chest out further into your mouth.

“Fuck, baby. Your tongue feels so good.” She whispered breathlessly. “You gonna let me use that pretty little mouth of yours ?”

You hummed in response and began a trail of kisses down her chest and torso. Bada smirked down at you and leaned back on her elbows as she spread her legs apart for you. 

Your heart hammered in your chest and you didn't question why. You kissed Bada’s thighs, inching closer to core. You looked up at her through your lashes and her intense gaze bore into you, turning you on impossibly more. You held her gaze as you leaned in, your fingers slid up her wetness and then parted her pussy lips exposing her dripping hole to you. You stuck out your tongue and pressed it against her clit circling it in steady motions.

Bada jolted above you and she moaned out a curse. 

Her noises and breathless moans fueled your tongue as you began sucking and licking her clit, moaning as you did so. You kept her lips parted, determined to taste every part of her as your wet muscle travelled down to her aching hole. You prodded your tongue against it, circling it and lapping up her juices as she jerked her hips onto your face.

“Fuck. Just like that, baby. Eat my pussy like the pretty little slut you are.” Bada groaned as her fingers reached down to tangle in your hair, gripping it in her palm as she held your face against her aching cunt.

You moaned at her words, sending vibrations onto her sensitive skin as you continued to lick her folds. You felt yourself grow wetter and you stretched your hand between your legs and began rubbing your clit, matching the pace of your tongue against her.

“Are you touching yourself ?” Bada breathed out as she pulled you away from her by your hair, making you look at her.

You paused in your actions and nodded wordlessly.

Bada’s eyes darkened and she licked her lips. “Such a needy whore.”

Bada flipped you over. You laid on the mattress and she perched above you. She grabbed your legs and pulled you closer to her, angling you on your side and then lay on her side before sliding her legs in between yours - your wet cunts inches away from touching.

“You wanna come again, hm ? Well come with me, princess.” 

Bada gripped onto your ankle as she held your leg over her shoulder and then slid closer to join her pussy with yours. Your wet cunts rubbed against each other as Bada took control of the rhythm, jerking her hips forwards as her pussy lips kissed yours. Your clits bumped and slid against each other’s and whimpers and moans danced from your lips and hers. 

“You feel so good, baby.” Bada moaned.

“F-fuck. Don’t stop . . .” You whimpered.

And Bada didn’t stop. The both of you spent the night tangled in each other, moaning praises as you worshipped each other’s bodies.

Day 73

The music boomed from the stereos and cheers and excited whispers danced alongside it in the air. Bada stood in the middle of the practice room as students gathered and watched from the sides. The tempo built up and Bada began to move her body to the beat, her aura of swagger encompassing her as she moved. 

You had invited Bada to your dance class and everyone begged her to do her iconic choreo to ‘You Got It’. So there she was, dancing as the crowd around her ‘oohed’ and ‘aahed’. 

You watched from the front of the crowd, arms crossed as your eyes followed her every move - as if in a trance. A small smile sat on your lips as you watched the way she emulated the vibe of the lyrics through her body and expressions, you felt butterflies in your stomach as you watched her and blushed at the way her eyes flickered to you at certain lyrics. 

Bada held your gaze as she continued to dance, she then smoothly made her way over to you as the beat came to a low point in the song. You laughed and shook your head at her - knowing exactly what part of the choreo she was about to do next. Bada smiled back at you and took your hand in hers, bringing you to the dance floor with her as she danced the lyrics to you. 

Oh yeah, it's time to mix it up and get ya glow girl.

Bada slid right up to you with a smirk as she grabbed her pants and jerked her hips, eyes not leaving yours. 

The practice room broke out into squeals and screams and you laughed and moved your body along with the music as Bada continued to dance around you.

I want you to know that girl you got it. 

Bada ended her dance with her hands on your hips and yours around her shoulders. 

The room exploded into chaos and you stepped back, laughing to hide the nerves that bubbled within you. Bada, on the other hand, just gazed at you with a grin on her face - you were all she saw in that moment.

Day 90

The morning sun poked through the curtains and you tossed and turned, opening your eyes slightly. Beside you laid Bada, snoring lightly. You smiled to yourself and brushed her messy fringe with your fingers as you found yourself admiring her peaceful face. The way her pink lips parted slightly, her long lashes that rested against her soft skin and cheeks tinted with a slight pink hue. You loved waking up to the sight of her. You don’t know when it began but you had been sleeping in her bed, regardless of sex. You enjoyed coming home and climbing into her warm embrace as she would cuddle you and kiss the top of your head - a usual practice between the two of you. You loved how she would hold your hand when in public and you loved how her fingers slid perfectly in yours. You loved how she still made you your favourite cup of herbal tea each morning and then would kiss your forehead after handing it to you.

You paused. 

Realisation washed over you like an avalanche of repressed emotions. 

You immediately got out of bed as quietly as your nerves would allow. You then picked up your clothes that were scattered on the floor and hurried out of Bada’s room. 

If Bada was awake she would have heard the front door shut. But she wouldn’t have known that that would be the last time she saw you that week.

Day 97

Bada opened your messages and saw that you still had not responded to her since three days ago when you sent her a brief, ‘Busy all week. Don’t wait up.’

She sighed in frustration and gripped her hair in her hands. Thoughts weighed heavy on her mind, she wondered if she did something wrong, she wondered if she hurt you. Bada decided that enough was enough and she would speak to no matter what.

Later that night, you softly unlocked the front door, opening it in small intervals to avoid making any sounds. You had been avoiding Bada all week and as far as you were concerned you intended to continue, until you snapped out of whatever delusion you believed yourself to be in. Because that's what it is - delusion.

You creeped down the hallway and gently opened your room door and entered, you faltered in your step because before you sat your roommate. Bada looked up at you from her seat on your bed and stood up.

She said your name in a soft manner and you recoiled.

“What are you doing ?” You asked.

“Waiting for you. You’ve been avoiding me all week.”

“I’ve been busy. I told you.”

Bada’s eyes scan your frame, eyening your choice of attire.

“Busy going out in short dresses and heels and then coming home late at night ?”

Bada stepped forward.

“Whilst also reeking of alcohol ?”

You scoffed. “And so what ? Since when have you cared about what I wear or do ?”

Bada frowns. “Since you decided to ghost me for a week after things were going so well.”

“Things were going well for you.” You folded your arms.

Bada scanned your face, she knew you were lying.

She took another step forward, now in front of you, breaths away.

You stood your ground and stayed firm in place, trying your best to keep your walls upright and strong.

“So you’re telling me that you didn’t like the way I held you.” Bada whispered as her hands moved to rest on your waist, thumb rubbing gentle circles into your skin.

You gulped and cleared your throat.

“Bada . . .”

“Or the way I touched you.” She tightened her grip on your waist and pushed you back against the door, trapping you in her arms. 

Your heart pounded against your chest and you cursed at it.

“Tell me to stop.” She whispered as she looked at you with darkened eyes.

Your eyes flickered to her lips and you found yourself closing your eyes and leaning in.

Bada met you halfway and crashed her lips into yours. She pressed herself against you and your arms flew to her shoulders, securing your bodies together. The taller girl bit your bottom lip and groaned into your mouth before her tongue slid in and you let out a small moan in response.

Why did kissing your roommate - your best friend - feel so right ? You had spent the past week arguing with yourself and begging your heart to stop its yearning for the older girl. You liked her, that was it. It wasn’t love. It would never be love, because you did not do love. It was messy and it always ended in pain. You couldn’t fall in love with your best friend.

Your hands removed themselves from Bada’s shoulders and you roughly pushed her away. Breath heavy and lips slightly swollen as you blinked at her for a moment. 

“Leave.” You whispered.

“What ?” Bada muttered, unsure of if she heard you correctly,

“Get out of my room, Bada.” You begged, eyes glossing with tears.

Bada’s brows twitched and she reached out for you.

“Get Out ! Now !” You cried out.

“I don’t love you. I will never love you. Fuck, I don’t know why I agreed to this,” You ran your fingers through your hair as you paced around your bedroom.

Bada’s eyes never left you as she stood frozen.

Your head snapped to look at her. “You deserve better. I can’t love you. So leave Bada.”

You had Bada’s heart in the palm of your hand. For as long as she could remember she knew that her heart belonged to you. But you had now grabbed the organ that beats for you and crushed it between your delicate fingers.

So Bada honoured your wishes and she left.

Day 99

Bada had been going out every night since that night. You knew this because you would hear the slam of the front door each evening when she left and then hours later when she came back home in a drunken state.

However, tonight was different. 

Your phone rings and you see Bada’s name flash up on your screen. Your heart skips a beat and you stare at it for a moment. 

“Hello ?” You say into the phone, unsure of what to expect.

“Hello ?” A muffled voice you don’t recognise responds as it asks your name to confirm.

“Yes, that’s me. Who are yo-”

“Can you come and get Bada ? She’s completely wasted.”

That's how you found yourself guiding a very drunken Bada back through your apartment doors and into her bedroom.

Bada stumbled onto her bed and you took a step back. “I’ll be back. I’ll go get you a cup of water.”

You returned to see Bada had kicked off her shoes and laid face first into the mattress.

“Bada ? Here.” You say, handing her the cup.

“I didn’t think you would actually come back.” She mumbled turning to face you. “You hate me.”

Your heart ached. “I don’t hate you, Bada.”

“I’m sorry for being in love with you.” She slurs as tears brim in her eyes. 

You swallow the lump in your throat and move to sit on the edge of her bed. “Don’t be sorry. Please just drink this and try to sleep.”

Bada takes the cup from you. “ Will you leave ?” 

“Um, I-I can if you want me to.” You stammer, playing with your fingers nervously.

“Please don’t leave me. I don’t want my best friend to hate me. I don’t want to lose you . . .” You watch as a tear falls from Bada’s eye and your heart cracks.

As if by instinct you move closer to Bada and you hold her in your arms, comforting her with a hug. “I won’t leave you, Bada. And I don’t hate you . . . It’s the opposite.” You whisper the last part under your breath.

Bada wraps her arms around your waist before allowing her body to relax in your arms. Her eyes flutter shut and you stare down at her as she dozes off - this particular scene forcing memories and emotions back into your mind.

You then try to remove yourself from her hold but she grips onto you tighter. 

“Stay.” You hear a small whisper and so you do.

You wrapped your arms back around Bada and you stayed.

Day 100

Morning came and your eyes fluttered open. Bada now lay behind you, arm slung over your body as she pressed up against you. Events of last night still clear in your mind, you intended to slip out of Bada’s arms and back into your room in hopes that she didn’t remember much.

You gently took Bada’s arm and raised it, slipping out of her hold and then inching closer to the edge of the bed. You let out a hushed exhale and then stood up, gently treading as you made your way to her door.

“Are you leaving ?”

A sleepy voice halts you in your tracks.

You swiftly turn and see a messy haired Bada rubbing her eyes as she sits up.

“Hi,” you breathe out, “I’m just going back to my room.”

“Oh, alright . . . Thank you for staying when I asked.”

Your stomach drops a little. “You remember asking ?”

“I remember a little bit.”

“O-oh, okay. Well I hope you feel a little better now.” You rushed as your hand grabbed onto the door handle and swung it open.

“What did you mean when you said that you didn’t hate me, that it was the opposite ?” 

Your heart stopped.

“I didn’t say that. You were drunk, Bada.” 

“I know what I heard,” Bada says your name firmly. “Why did you push me away ?”

Bada slowly rose to her feet, gaining her balance.

“Because I can’t love you.” You muttered, eyes avoiding hers.

Bada stepped forward. “And why can’t you love me ?”

Your feet refused to move. 

“You deserve better than me. I’m not meant to love or be loved . . .” 

Bada took another step closer.

“Do you love me ?”

Your heart thundered in your chest.

“Bada, I can’t-”

“Do you love me ?”

You swallowed hard.

“I’m not the one for yo-”

“I can decide that for myself, if you’re the one or not. You don’t get to make decisions regarding the both of us and how I feel toward you.” Bada breathes out as she takes another step, now standing directly before you. “My heart beats for you. It belongs to you like it was carved and sculpted to beat to the rhythm of your name. I know you and I know that I love you. Do you love me ?”

“I love you.” You choke out. Tears glossing your eyes. “I-I do love you. But I'm afraid, Bada.”

Bada takes you in her arms. 

“You can love, so you’re meant to be loved. It is scary, yes. But I'm here and I love you in return.”

You cried into Bada’s chest as she held you to her heart as it pumped just for you. 

The once impenetrable towers that stood mighty around your heart now crumbled. The remaining bricks fell away as Bada tamed the fiery beast that guarded your fragile heart, forcing the doubt and fear into submission as she held you and wiped your falling tears. Bada had rescued you.

“You deserve to be happy,” Bada mutters into your hair as she traces mindless patterns on your back, still holding you dear. “You deserve to be loved.”

“You make me happy.” You sniffle.

“And I'm glad. You make me happy too.” She whispers before you pull away from her embrace, wiping your teary eyes.

“I think I've always loved you, Bada.” You whisper, eyes locked with hers. “And that’s what frightened me.”

Bada took your face in her palm, thumb gently rubbing your cheek.

“I’ve always loved you and I don’t think I'll stop anytime soon.”

“Please don't stop.” You plead in one breath.

Bada gazes at you with eyes full of adoration.

“I won't. I love you,” your name gently falls from her lips.

“I love you too, Bada.”

Bada smiles and brings you closer. She leans in and joins her lips with yours in a tender exchange of love - love that the two of you always shared.

Tag List / / @princhii , @lil-elliesgf , @wiselight @nimixe ! [OPEN]

[heaartzzforcupidzz]

Heyyy I was wondering if I could request something?? You don't have to do it but I wondering if you could do a Catnap and Dogday x reader who acts very motherly to everyone? It can be smut or not, you can decide. But I'd really appreciate it if you did my request. Thanksss :3

“Kitty Catty.”

Relationship(s): catnap x bunny!mother!reader x Dogday

Warning(s): fluff, suggestive

You were basically everyone’s mother. They all adored you when you were created. You were created for the purpose of acting like a caring mother to the poor orphans. You did your job so well that even the other critters considered you their mom except Catnap and Dogday. They saw you as.. well, we will talk about that, later, hm?

There was a storm that night and instead of sleeping in your warm cozy bed, you had laid in the middle of the floor with a blanket because Kickin’ oddly enough was afraid of all the thunder and lightning. you didn’t complain though. you hummed a tune until you were sure, he was out like a light.

For another instance, if Bubba had become stressed that he couldn’t answer a problem, you would gently ease his mind with questions he could answer and then help him figure out the one he couldn’t by himself. Afterwards, you’d tell him how proud you were of him.

Lastly, it’s how when Bobby felt alone and that nobody really reciprocated how she loved. You’d try to match her love or even top it. She loved you the most for it. You never made her feel like a problem. You even looked at her like she was everything to you and she loved you dearly for it.

Dogday and Catnap loved that about you. You were sweet, caring, and made sure others were okay before you tried to even look after yourself. That last part was good and bad to them but nevertheless, it still made you so special in everyone’s hearts.

“Wake up, Kitty Catty,” one of the kids said as he poked the side of Catnaps fur. Catnap just opened his eyes and stared. Trying to determine if he’d use his gas or not. This was the second time this kids, Timothy, he believed has walked away from the group to mess with him.

Catnap stood tall. Timothy instantly became fearful, his heart thumping loudly. Soon enough, here you came and ushered Timothy out of Catnaps ‘hiding’ place. you then turned, a nervous smile on your plush lips. “Im sorry, Kitty-“ something he has grown a liking to ever since you called him that your first meet. “He’s just playful and can be a bit eccentric at times.”

Catnap only stared at you. He nodded before he walked away. Strange? he usually put up more of a fight with the others.. why was he so different towards you? you didn’t care too much though as you heard a child cry. your feet moved quicker than your mind and soon, you were holding the crying child up to your chest.

“Charlie? what’s wrong, my dear?” you said, sweetly as you softly rubbed circles on her stomach as she looked up at you. She sniffed and told you she had fell and the other kids began to laugh at her. you sighed, before you pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. “Mm, did you tell them that wasn’t very nice?” You asked. Charlotte otherwise known as Charlie shook her head. “Well, maybe you should.. and if it doesn’t stop, tell them that mama is coming for them.” You said, before putting her down and watching her smile.

“Thanks, mama.” She said before she ran off with the other children. You hadn’t noticed Dogday standing behind you with Timothy. Timothy had been telling Dogday all about how Catnap had frightened him.

“That was amazing.” Dogday said, breaking the silence. you were abit frightened but turning around and seeing Dogday, you smiled. “Oh hello!” You greeted. That’s how you and Dogdays friendship began.

You had already knew Catnap and he sat with you sometimes and just watched the ‘stars’ with you. You weren’t expecting for both of them to confess to you a year or maybe even two later. But you weren’t complaining.

They both accepted the fact that you loved them both equally and that they’d have to learn to share. Which they did. It worked good for all three parties and you became an actual mother to your own litter soon enough.

They made you the happiest mother in the world.

[yourmomsawh0r3]

Could you do Benedict Bridgerton with wife reader? Promenading through the park with their family and having a picnic. Taking a break to relax from all of Ton's drama. Thanks!! :))

of course!! this was such a sweet storyline to write :)

Picnic

Benedict Bridgerton x Wife reader

The warm, golden sunlight filtered through the canopy of leaves, casting dappled shadows on the verdant grass of Hyde Park. It was a perfect afternoon for a promenade and a picnic, a welcome respite from the endless social whirl of the Ton. Benedict Bridgerton and his wife, Y/N, strolled hand in hand, their children laughing and chasing each other just ahead of them.

Benedict, ever the artist, took in the scene with an appreciative eye. The park was alive with the vibrant colors of summer, the air filled with the scent of blooming flowers and the distant hum of conversation. It was a day tailor-made for relaxation and family.

“Look, Mama! Look, Papa!” their eldest, a spirited boy of eight named Henry, called out as he pointed to a particularly large oak tree. “Can we climb it?”

Y/N smiled indulgently. “Not too high, Henry. And keep an eye on your sister.”

Six-year-old Charlotte, her auburn curls bouncing as she ran, darted after her brother. “I’ll beat you to the top!”

Benedict chuckled, squeezing Y/N’s hand. “They’ve got your adventurous spirit.”

“And your boundless energy,” Y/N replied, leaning into him. “Thank goodness we’re in the park where they can run off some of it.”

They continued their leisurely stroll, following a winding path that led to a secluded clearing near the Serpentine. A large, checkered blanket was already spread out, laden with a sumptuous picnic prepared by the Bridgerton household staff. It was an inviting sight: cold meats, cheeses, fresh bread, and an array of fruits and pastries, all neatly arranged and waiting to be enjoyed.

As they settled onto the blanket, Y/N helped the children with their plates, making sure everyone had their favorites. Benedict uncorked a bottle of chilled wine, pouring two glasses and handing one to Y/N.

“To a perfect day,” he toasted, his eyes warm and affectionate.

Y/N clinked her glass against his. “To family.”

For a while, they ate and laughed, sharing stories and simply enjoying each other’s company. The children, their initial hunger sated, soon wandered off to explore the nearby bushes and flowers, their delighted giggles echoing through the park.

With the children happily occupied, Y/N and Benedict stretched out on the blanket, reveling in the rare moment of peace. Y/N rested her head on Benedict’s shoulder, her eyes drifting shut as the gentle breeze caressed her face.

“It’s days like this that make all the chaos worth it,” she murmured.

Benedict nodded, his fingers lightly tracing patterns on her arm. “Indeed. Sometimes it feels like the Ton never lets us breathe, but here… here we can just be ourselves.”

They fell into a comfortable silence, watching the clouds drift lazily across the sky. Benedict’s thoughts turned to the recent events in their social circle—the endless gossip, the scandals, the never-ending parade of parties and balls. It was a relief to escape it all, if only for a little while.

As the afternoon wore on, the sun began its slow descent, casting a warm, golden hue over the park. Henry and Charlotte returned from their adventures, their cheeks flushed with excitement and their arms full of wildflowers.

“Look what we found, Mama!” Charlotte exclaimed, thrusting a bouquet of daisies and buttercups into Y/N’s hands.

Y/N beamed, her heart swelling with love for her children. “They’re beautiful, darling. Thank you.”

Henry plopped down beside his father, a mischievous grin on his face. “Papa, can we play a game?”

Benedict ruffled his son’s hair. “What sort of game did you have in mind?”

“Hide and seek!” Henry declared, bouncing with enthusiasm.

“An excellent choice,” Benedict agreed, getting to his feet and stretching. “Very well, who will be ‘it’ first?”

After a lively debate, it was decided that Benedict would be the first seeker. The children scampered off, giggling and hiding behind trees and bushes as he counted aloud. Y/N watched with amusement, her heart full as she observed her husband and children at play.

Eventually, as the shadows grew longer and the air began to cool, they gathered up their things and made their way back home. The children, worn out from their day of fun, walked quietly between their parents, their hands clasped in Benedict’s and Y/N’s.

Back at their townhouse, the children were bathed and tucked into bed, their eyelids drooping with exhaustion. Y/N kissed them goodnight, her heart full of the quiet contentment that came from a day well spent.

Later, as she and Benedict sat together in their private sitting room, a fire crackling in the hearth, Y/N sighed happily. “Today was perfect, Benedict. Exactly what we needed.”

He pulled her close, pressing a kiss to her temple. “I couldn’t agree more. We should make a habit of it, escaping the madness for a little peace.”

Y/N nodded, resting her head against his chest. “As long as we’re together, anywhere can be our sanctuary.”

Benedict smiled, his heart swelling with love and gratitude for the woman in his arms. In the unpredictable whirlwind of their lives, she was his constant, his anchor. And in moments like these, surrounded by the warmth of family and the simple joys of life, he knew they could weather any storm the Ton might throw their way.

As the firelight danced around them, they drifted into a comfortable silence, content in each other’s presence, cherishing the fleeting peace of a perfect day.

[world-of-wales]

HAPPY 42ND BIRTHDAY TO HRH THE PRINCE OF WALES, WILLIAM ARTHUR PHILIP LOUIS ♡

On 21 June 1982, Prince William was born to Diana and Charles, then known as Prince and Princess of Wales in St Mary's Hospital, London, at at 21:03 BST. He was born during the reign of his paternal grandmother Elizabeth II and was the first child born to a Prince and Princess of Wales since Prince John's birth in July 1905.

The little prince's name was announced on 28 June as William Arthur Philip Louis. Wills was christened in the Music Room of Buckingham Palace by the then Archbishop of Canterbury, Robert Runcie, on 4 August.

William studied at Jane Mynors' nursery school and Wetherby School in London before joining Ludgrove. He was subsequently admitted to Eton College, studying geography, biology, and history at the A-level.

The Prince undertook a gap year taking part in British Army training exercises in Belize, working on English dairy farms, and as part of the Raleigh International programme in southern Chile, William worked for ten weeks on local construction projects and taught English.

In 2001, William enrolled at the University of St Andrews, initially to study Art History but then changed his field of study to Geography with the support of the love of his life Catherine Elizabeth Middleton who he met while at school.

Will and Cat fell in love during their time at uni, and married at Westminster Abbey on 29 April 2011. The couple have three adorable cupcakes Prince George (b.2013), Princess Charlotte (b.2015) and Prince Louis (b.2018). The family of five divide time between their official residence, Kensington Palace and their two private residences - Amner Hall & Adelaide Cottage.

After university, William trained at the Royal Military Academy Sandhurst. In 2008, he graduated from the Royal Air Force College Cranwell and joined the RAF Search and Rescue Force in early 2009. He transferred to RAF Valley, Anglesey, to receive training on the Sea King search and rescue helicopter, which made him the first member of the British royal family since Henry VII to live in Wales.

During his active career as a Search and Rescue Pilot, William conducted 156 search and rescue operations, which resulted in 149 people being rescued. He then served as a full-time pilot with the East Anglian Air Ambulance starting in July 2015, donating his full salary to the EAAA charity.

Working with all branches of the military, he holds the ranks of Lieutenant Colonel in the Army, Commander in the Navy and Wing Commander in the Air-Force

Upon their wedding, WillCat became HRH The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, The Earl and Countess of Strathearn and Baron and Lady Carrickfergus. He became the heir apparent on 8 September 2022, receiving the titles of the Duke of Cornwall & The Duke of Rothesay. William & Catherine were made The Prince and Princess of Wales by Kimg Charles on 9 September 2022. Additionally, William also became the Prince & High Steward of Scotland, Earl of Chester, Earl of Carrick, Lord of the Isles, and Baron Renfrew.

As well as undertaking royal duties in support of The King, both in the UK and overseas, The Prince devotes his time supporting a number of charitable causes and organisations with some of his key areas of interest being Mental health, Conservation, Homelessness, Sports and Emergency Workers.

He has undertaken several overseas trips representing the monarch, covering a wide array of countries like Australia, Canada, Namibia, Malaysia, South Africa, Tanzania, Pakistan Italy, Jordan, Kuwait, France, India, The Bahamas, Belize, Afghanistan etc ; He is also is also a founder of various initiatives like United For Wildlife, Heads Together, Earthshot and Homewards.

[thatsdemko]

fallingforyou - c.leclerc

masterlist

requested: n

pairings: Charles leclerc x gasly!fem!reader

warnings: anxious thoughts + fluff + a time jump (lmk if I missed anything!)

a/n: i made myself sick i wish someone was this in love with me (you’ll see) anywhooo! slightly inspired by the song fallingforyou by the 1975! song is listed below this 👇 have thoughts/comments? feel free to lmk☺️

he’s not into the clichés. he doesn’t believe you can fall in love at first sight, because with you? it wasn’t that way. he’s watched you grow up, and at some point you slipped out of the spotlight in his life and become background noise. he’s forgotten all about you until tonight.

you’re sitting beside kika, your brothers girlfriend, when his eyes land on you for the first time that night. that’s when he started believing in the clichés, because he could’ve sworn that’s when his heart melted in his chest and time stopped. everything around him fell silent to your presence.

your smile lit up the room, the way the corners of your eyes crinkled at a joke and how your head tilted back in the slightest way. it sent a rush of red across his face, because that’s when you spotted him across the room.

your eyes connecting with his, you watched him pull away and try to play it normal. he walks away from where he stood watching you, he’s found Pierre now and decided to spark conversation. but he can’t keep you out of his mind, it’s to the point it’s all he can talk about to your brother.

“well it’s your lucky night.” Pierre’s vague words made Charles face scrunch in confusion. the older man laughs into his drink, head nodding in the direction behind him. you were waltzing your way over after being convinced by kika and the shot of vodka to start something with Charles.

you were oblivious to Charles eyeing you when he entered the bar. you were too into your conversation with kika to have even noticed the Monégasque man had arrived, and couldn’t pull away from staring at you. you weren’t one to be brave and make the first move, but kika couldn’t stop convincing you that you had to do something, it was Charles leclerc after all—despite the significance of his name having a much deeper meaning to you.

“can I steal him from you?” your voice sounds small, you’re nervous for what Pierre was going to say, but he gladly moves along and whispers something into Charles ear. you can’t make out what, but it sends a laugh through his body before he turns to face you.

“it’s lovely to see you.” his smiles soft, sending a rush of butterflies through your stomach. you notice the top button of his white dress shirt is undone, and he smells like a mix of after shave and cologne. it’s a smell you could get lost in.

“I agree, I haven’t seen you in awhile.” you couldn’t place how long it had been, but you assumed it was around the time he and Charlotte began to date. that’s when you stepped away from the spotlight surrounding your brother and his friends, to just being someone who showed up once in a blue moon.

he can’t think of anything to say, it’s embarrassing. he’s too busy taking you in like he’s never going to see you again. he’s noting how the dress hugs your body, the way it makes your eyes pop, how your face looks in the lighting. he’s absolutely infatuated.

“I like complements more than stares.” you chuckle, a light shade of red spreading across both of your faces, but his is far worse. he can feel the moisture spread across his forehead.

“you look beautiful.” you laugh taking his compliment watching him use the back of his hand to wipe the sweat off his forehead.

“we have to work on your flirting skills because there’s no way you can be Mr. Ferrari and be unable to talk to women.” you nervously laugh. he’s never been extremely successful, but somehow he had found himself in a relationship. he never had to try to work his magic on a woman in a long time, it all felt so foreign to him.

“excuse me for being a little out of practice.” he playfully rolls his eyes at your words as he carefully bites his bottom lip watching you nervously play with the hem of your dress.

“I didn’t know you and Charlotte broke up? Pierre didn’t tell me.” you lean against the edge of the bar, you hadn’t even realized you two weren’t alone. you were in a crowded place full of strangers mixed with familiar faces. despite the awkwardness, it felt like you two were alone the whole time. it felt like it was just you two.

he waves his hand in dismissal of the topic, “it was mutual, and not a big deal. besides, I’m pretty focused on the woman in front of me.” he winks and you could’ve sworn you felt your knees buckle. the slight smirk he makes whilst winking, was sexy, you could feel the warmth spread in your stomach.

“well she’s a lucky woman to have your attention.” you move a little closer to him, it’s not a noticeable change, but he noticed how much closer to him you are. he could just reach your waist, and pull you closer, but he’s fingers twitch with anxiety unsure it’s the right move.

“you do realize I’m talking about you, right?” his voice deep, you feel his finger tips grab a hold of the material of your dress pulling you another inch closer to him. your heart thumping loud against your chest, you couldn’t believe this was the first time you’ve been this close to him.

“I do.” you whisper, fingers moving to pull the undone button together, he’s watching you, his breath is slow and gentle afraid if he breathes too loud, you’ll stop what you’re doing.

“quit falling for me, charles. you’re making it hard for me to stop myself.” your eyes move from his chest, up to his chocolate irises that are staring back at you.

his fingers are pulling you closer to him, thumb rubbing circles on your hip, “then don’t stop, fall into me. I’m safe.” his words are comforting, you move your body closer allowing his lips to brush yours. he’s about to pull away, when you grab the nape of his neck pulling him back down so your lips smash his.

his hands are aggressively pulling you into his body like you’re not already as close as you can be. your hands caress his cheeks, as your finger nails move into his hair. everything feels good and right, he’s like a perfect match.

“now I’m really falling for you.”

— 5 YEARS FROM THEN —

the light seeps through the slightly closed blinds, it’s enough to wake you up. your eyes lightly flicker open to see he’s already closing them. he doesn’t want to know how much longer he has, the sun is a constant reminder of the little time that’s left with you.

he lays back into the bed, but he’s next to your body, head resting on your chest, hand pressed against your bare stomach pulling you closer. he can’t get enough of you. usually you’d be so sick of someone this in love, but it’s him after all. you let it slide, raking your fingers through his soft brown hair.

“mon ange,” he whispers, thumb stroking your hip where your tiny pajama shorts clung loose to your body. you don’t have it in you to respond, so he picks his head up, chocolate irises that once were so pure and full, were slightly drained, but still youthful, “I am still falling for you.”

“you never stopped?” you ask, a smile creeping onto your face as he pulls away from your body exposing you to the cool air of the bedroom. you watched his smile spread further across his face as he sheepishly nods in response.

“I’ll never stop.” Charles brings the back of your hand to his lips. his thumb nudging the big diamond that still sits happily on your ring finger after two years of marriage.

“good, me neither.”

[yayakoishii]

Fangs | Katakuri x Reader

Fandom: One Piece

Pairing: Charlotte Katakuri x GN! Reader

Word Count: 1.4k

Genre: Fluff?

Summary: You catch a glimpse of Katakuri's full face for the first time.

A/n: I finished Wholecake Island arc yesterday and I totally fell in love with Katakuri; I love honourable fighters, and especially ones with a sense of humour! So I wrote this in one sitting suddenly out of nowhere, lol. This fic is based on how I view him, so he might feel ooc to some, but I hope you still like and enjoy it ♡

also available on ao3!

"Go give this to Katakuri-sama," your superior handed you his layered scarf. You were still new at your job of tending to the mansion of the Minister of Flour. Actually, you were new to Totto land in the first place, so you didn't even know anyone there very well. Still, you were determined to work hard and make sure you would belong and feel at home in this fascinating land.

"Yes, ma'am!" You carefully picked up the scarf and trotted towards Katakuri's room. You hummed to yourself as you walked, wondering why Katakuri was missing his scarf. You had never seen him without it.

Although you were new here, you felt happy that of all the places you could have been assigned to for work, it was in Katakuri's mansion. The second son of Big Mom was quiet, serious and diligent– but even without saying anything, he was also quite respectful and kind. Even though you were new, you liked working for him.

Everyone said he was the perfect man, someone who never relaxed and was undefeated. You could believe the latter two, but you wondered if he really was perfect. Everyone has some flaws. Maybe no one knew his. But, you felt that even if he was flawed, he would still be perfect because of how he treated you. Though he hadn't gone out of his way to make you feel welcome, you could feel the way he looked out for everyone. He was always supporting and protecting everyone by himself– and there was nothing more attractive than that, in your opinion.

Katakuri's door was open so you leaned in and knocked. "Katakuri-sama?"

The said man was standing in the middle of the room with an identical ruined scarf in his hands with his back to you. You waited for his response.

"Place it on the dresser and close the door before you go," his calm voice sent shivers down your back. It always gave you goosebumps for some reason, but they were the good kind. You said a quick yessir and waltzed in to place the scarf on the dresser. You were expected to do your job and leave but the part of you that had the smallest crush on the sweet commander got you looking into the mirror to catch a glimpse of him before you left.

To your shock, Katakuri was looking at you through the mirror too. Both of your eyes widened and you quickly turned around and bowed a full ninety degrees, crying, "Forgive me, Katakuri-sama! I wouldn't dare to meet your eye!"

There was silence for a few seconds. You stayed frozen, heart beating rapidly. You didn't know what would happen. No one had told you what to expect if you ever made a mistake like this. Was looking him in the eye, when he hadn't told you to, a crime enough to lose your life? You didn't know, but you hoped that he would be kind or even that he would ignore you.

Instead, you felt his long legs cross over to your side. You felt him loom over you to pick up the scarf you had placed and you waited with bated breath. It seemed like he was wearing the scarf you had brought in. Oh. Now that you had gotten over the panic, you realised that you had actually caught a glimpse of Katakuri's entire face for the first time.

"Rise."

He still sounded calm but you could feel the fear shaking you like a leaf. Katakuri was so much taller and stronger than you. He could snap you into two with the flick of his wrist probably. And while that usually was something you would find hot, today it was something that was sending cold sweat down your back. You followed his command, immediately straightening up and staring ahead. You could never meet his eye ever again.

"Look at me."

Great, you internally groaned. While that command would usually make you very happy, today it sounded like the announcement of your execution. Still shaking, you turned to face him and looked up in his eyes with unmistakable fear. You noted that he was wearing the scarf you had brought and it was covering up the sharp fangs you had seen before.

Why are you hiding your cool fangs, Katakuri-sama?

"You want to see my… teeth?" Katakuri sounded shocked. You startled, staring at him with wide eyes. Did he just read your mind?! No, no, this was probably the future seeing power of Katakuri. Which meant you were probably going to end up blurting your thought of wanting to see his cool fangs out.

"No, no, I wouldn't dare to ask that of you," you hurriedly said, clasping your hands close to your chest. Your body wouldn't stop shaking.

"Why do you tremble in fear if you find them…" Katakuri abruptly cut off, looking away from you. At his height, you couldn't see his scarf covered face properly but, you really did want to see his whole face again.

"I am not afraid of your teeth if that's what you were wondering about, Katakuri-sama," you admitted, fidgeting on the spot. "I am just afraid that I may have offended you by looking at you when it is expected of the servants to just do their job and leave."

"Why aren't you scared of my mouth?" He frowned. You blinked and looked him in the eye with more confidence.

"You have given me no reason to fear you, Katakuri-sama," you answered softly, giving him your warmest smile. The action only made his eyes wider. "And… they looked really cool. They suit you well, Katakuri-sama."

No one had ever said that to him. Although not many had seen his uncovered face, Katakuri still remembered what had happened the last time he had been open about it. His teeth were hideous and made him seem monstrous. So naturally, you should be afraid of him. You should find them ugly and be disgusted; and yet, you were standing in front of him, no longer shaking like a leaf, but instead giving him the warmest and loveliest smile he had ever seen. His usually unwavering heart skipped a beat at the sight.

"If, if you give me any punishment, I will accept it," you said, determined. "My only wish is to still be of service to you, if you would let me."

"No need," Katakuri said, looking away from you. For some reason, his cheeks felt unusually warm to himself. "Just make sure never to make any mention of this to anyone else."

"Yes, of course!" You bowed again, feeling relief washing over you. "I am eternally grateful to you, Katakuri-sama! I promise to never make any such mistake ever again. I would never dare to look at you."

"And if…" he hesitated for a second as he pulled down the scarf just slightly to reveal the tips of his biggest fangs. He ended up blurting the rest when he saw the adorable way you tilted your head in curiosity. "And if I want you to?"

You said his teeth were cool right? So, you would still like to see him even without the scarf, right? He was being risky here, showing you this vulnerable, flawed side of himself, but unusually, his heart seemed to trust in you.

"If you want me to," you blushed furiously, giving him a shy smile, "then I wouldn't dare look away."

Katakuri's heart skipped another beat. It really was acting so strange today.

"Can I say something, Katakuri-sama?" You seemed hesitant to say it. Was it something offensive? Had you perhaps changed your mind? Steeling himself to hear it, he opened his mouth to say yes and saw a flash of what you were about to say.

You are really quite handsome, Katakuri-sama.

He froze, mouth slightly opened to utter an affirmation that never came. You were still staring at him nervously, wringing your hands. His cheeks felt even warmer as the seconds trickled by. Then, he cleared his throat and turned away from you so you wouldn't see the way his face was starting to match his hair.

"Perhaps another time."

It was a dismissal and he watched you leave his room. You closed the door behind you, and Katakuri felt his heart collapse into his stomach.

What was this strange fluttering feeling in his chest?

°•❀•°

All likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated ♡

a/n: I wanna write more for Katakuri so if you have any cute ideas, send them my way! requests are open hehe~

[kessellluvr]

˗ˏˋ my girlfriend´s girlfriend ´ˎ˗

pairing: lottienat x reader

summary: lottie wants to try something new and decides to ask nat if she wants to join in fucking you ; of course nat agrees!!

note: this is just straight up smut.. oopsies

"Dont be shy, honey." lottie´s warm breath flew over your ear, her fingers deftly undoing the clasp of your bra to reveal your pear shaped breasts, nipples hard due to the cold air in the room. Nat sat against the headboard, only in her sports bra and her boxers, a smirk on her face as she watched lottie undress you. "She´s a real pretty one, gotta say, lottie." your cheeks flushed a deep crimson at her raspy voice, lottie softly pushed you back on the bed, forcing your legs open. "You hear that, baby? Your such a pretty slut." lottie murmed, lips finding the soft flesh of your inner thigh. You could feel nat´s calloused hands coming to lift your upper half up against her - making you sit between her legs, a soft gasp came from your lips as her cold fingers brushed over your hard, big nipples - teasing them to even harder peaks. Your head fell back against nat´s chest as you sighed, feeling lottie tease your slit - collecting your wetness before rubbing it around your clit in an awfully slow circle. That needy whine which left your lips was all charlotte needed to hear, carefully pushing two long fingers up your wet cunt.

Nat’s hands interwined with yours, you squeezed them hard as lottie’s fingers curled up to hit that perfect spot. “Mm- more!” you whined, feeling nat place hot, opened mouthed kisses to your neck before sucking a few hickeys. “Look at you, pretty girl.. taking it so well.” nat hummed, lips trailing over your pulse point before biting down and making you yelp out a moan. You could already feel the knot in your stomach tightening as lottie’s fingers scissored inside you, making your thighs twitch and so it wasnt much longer until your first orgasm crashed over you, a long moan coming from deep down your throat as nat pulled your head back against her by your chin, tilting it up and smashing her lips against yours - swallowing your moans. You didnt really notice her hand leaving yours as she went to squeeze your breast, tugging your sensitive nipple once more - you felt another wave of pleasure ripple through you, her tounge pushing into your mouth and twirling with yours.

Lottie’s hand patted your thigh, “Good girl, mm but you can take more cant you?” you nodded as an answer, feeling lottie shift off of the bed and you could her hear rummaging through a drawer. You know exactly what she was going to grab - nat shifted behind you and you looked over your shoulder to see her attaching the strap to her hips, tilting the toy so it was aligned with her clit, that dark patch of pubes still visible, you turned your head to look back at lottie, who was also putting her strap around her hips. You felt your pulse quickening, cheeks flushing deeply. “Hands and knees, baby.” Nat growled into your eat from behind and you did as you were told - getting into position and looking up at nat, she was on her knees, her fake cock hanging tantalising infront of your face as she reached for your chin, thumb trailing along your bottom lip before pushing in. Your tounge twirled around her thumb, you felt the bed dipping behind you as lottie got in position, her hand coming to squeeze your asscheeks - she loved how they fit perfectly into her hands, how the flesh melted between her fingers.

Suddenly, nat pulled her thumb out and reached out to grab your hair “Suck it, sugar.” she hissed, pulling your head down, lips pressing against the tip of the strap before you willingly opened them and let her sink into your mouth, nat made sure to be careful, letting you lead for now. “Aw dont be that soft on her, she knows how to suck.” Lottie’s rough, horny voice echoed from behind you as she slammed her hips against yours, filling your cunt to the brink - the motion caused you to cry out, your body shifting fowards and causing nat’s cock to go all the way in, forcing you to deepthroat her. Your eyes rolled back as you heard nat’s grunt, the base of the dildo rubbing against her fat clit before she started thrusting in and out of your mouth. You didnt have to gag, lottie had trained you. But you did anyway, knowing it would turn nat on even more, lottie’s thrusts behind you also sped up - her nails now digging into your hip while her other came down to smack your ass, making the flesh wobble. You tried your best to focus on pleasing nat, while also feeling your second orgasm build. You moaned around nat’s cock, your cunt clenching around lottie’s, which painfully but deliciously kissed your cervix. It wasnt long before you felt your body shaking, nat letting out a loud groan as she came from the friction on her clit - she pulled out of you, leaving you a mess - spit running from your mouth, down your chin and onto the sweat-drenched sheets. Finally you felt yourself overcome by your orgasm, squirting around Lottie’s cock as she sped her thrusts - fucking you through your second orgasm until you were a whimpering mess.

Lottie finally pulled out, giving your ass another smack and falling back onto the bed, you collapsed down onto the sheets - trying to catch your breath. “Rest for now, pretty little thing. But we’re far from done for tonight.” Nat whispered as she cupped your cheeks and pressed a soft kiss to your lips.

[simp-ly-writes]

Friend of the Captain (pt.2)

Pairing: Edward "Eddie" Horniman x afab!Reader

Summary: Years had past since you had last seen Eddie. Doctor, CEO and soon to be girlfriend of another man. You end up seeing him at Freddy and Tammy's wedding yet other forces keep pulling your both away from admitting to your feelings. What will it take for one of you to see the truth?- as Charlotte ever so indelicately puts it.

Warnings: 3755 words, utter jealousy, language, and light teasing, angst to potential fluff and lots and lots of pining.

A/N: I have watched an unhealthy amount of edits while on dinner break- I must be stopped (gods i'm supposed to be on break!)- this is way longer than I was expecting it to be, perhaps even a part three...

Masterlist | Taglist | somewhat un-edited.

(pt.1) (pt.2) (pt.3)

↳ Years had past since you had last seen Edward. You still kept in contact with his siblings and his mother, of course. Lady Sabrina refused to let you go- often sending various treats and letters towards your family's estate, you called her ever other week with updates to your studies, travels, and love life. Your mother teasingly voiced her jealousy towards her best friend choosing her own daughter over her best friend.

↳ You often joined the older ladies out for a dinner or lunch with Charlotte tagging along when she was not in school (yet you would never tell Charlotte's parents otherwise to you signing her out as a trusted guardian and taking her even out of the country some weekends). Clicking your glasses together while looking down upon the busy London streets, you smirked seeing someone wearing a piece of yours from across the street.

Tugging at your mothers dress-sleeve she trued around in her seat, grasping your hand in a tight squeeze of excitement and pride as her wrist glittered in your newest bracelet collection. After finishing your PHD of Business Administration you took a fake name to hide your identity for the public and papers for as long as you could. You often blushed now- seeing your face on gossip articles with your date of the evening.

Dinner tonight was a celebration of your recent contract with an up-and-coming movie star- he would be wearing your necklaces on the red carpet by the end of the week. A bottle of bubbly, bubbled your laughter to the surface as they all screamed in your ear, jumping up and down and clapping their hands in the restaurant as you ducked your head, trying to stray away from the attention.

↳ Unknowing to you though is that your's and Edward's mother collected all the gossip magazines, continuing their bet as Sabrinas heart fell every time you looked so in love with your new partner. Charlotte would often make side comments about your "slut era" she called it as you knocked her shoulder with your own, rolling your eyes before your mother swatted your shoulder at the dinner table and insisted on maintaining appearances in the public eye.

--

↳ When inside your studio-office space, drafting up new designs with your creative team. You spun around of your chair and became shocked when you eventually rolled back around to find a wax-sealed envelope with the Halstead crest so beautifully stamped. Peeling away the wax as carefully as you could, the thick, textured paper settled nicely between our hands as you read through the invitation. Tears beginning to well in your eyes before you were squealing in Freddy's ear through the desk-phone as he winced and handed the phone over to Tammy. Both laughing over your childish excitement to their own wedding.

↳ You called the brainstorming off early, rushing to help Tammy find just the right dress later that afternoon as she thanked you for assisting with the wedding planing (already fed up with Lady Sabrina's input into the event- though she was funding a large portion of it due to Freddys... interesting resume).

↳ Wedding dress shopping happened later that spring as you teared up seeing the woman in white. Helping her into your exclusively design accessories and veil. Later that day, you third-wheeled the couple during cake testing- eating double of your weight in sweets as your teeth ached afterwards.

↳ During the bridal party. You all got dressed up in small red dresses and matching heels as you style one another's hair and got your nails done for the evening. You all went to a bar to start of the week strong, you had never felt so carefree and young after the countless sleepless nights of being a CEO and Doctorate student- you really let yourself go that night. Waking up in the bed of a stranger who wrapped their muscled arm over your waist.

Trying to wiggle your way out of their grip and find your various articles of clothing spread round the downtown flat, you ended up stealing one of their shirts- not bothering to look at the design plastered on the front as you placed your phone on to charge and started breakfast.

The oven dinged, the eggs were done as you put out a spread across the countertop before doing a light clean of last nights activities- doing your best to put away things where you thought they belonged and were stopped halfway by an arm pulling you back into their chest and placing a kiss against your forehead, "thank you, love. Didn't have to do any of this at all- I appreciate it very much."

A blush spread over your cheeks as you led them towards the still hots plates and ate together. There name was William from your foggy memories of last night. By the groaning the man in front of you was excepting while pouring himself a coffee, he seemed as well wasted as you were.

"Can I get you any Advil or orange juice?" William asks, placing a coffee in front of you with a smile as you wipe your mouth and take a small sip. "No, I'm alright." When washing up the dishes together, he offered to place your things in the wash while making small talk throughout and even going for a round three later that morning.

Becoming lost in the bubble you both formed for yourselves, hands casting through the short strands of dirty blonde hair that tickled your palms. Your heart dropped in the slightest bit when his phone rang as a show you were both listening to in the background was paused. He whispered a sorry towards you, patting your knee before taking a stand and walking over to the bedroom, you could only hear the start to the conversation, "Captain, everythin' alright?"

Deeming yourself overstaying your welcome, you walked towards the hall bathroom, preparing yourself for the next day and left a small note with your name attached, softly shutting the door behind you before leaning your forehead against it. A stupid smile showing itself across your features as your hands drifted through your contacts, landing on Charlottes picture as it dinged for a few moments.

"Girl, where the fuck have you been since last night?"

"I think I'm in love Char," you stated while the elevator doors closed behind you and the busy city streets awaited you.

--

↳ In the remaining days of the bridal party, you all rented out a vineyard, playing various lawn games with sunbathing by the pool. You subconsciously looked up towards the glass doors of the modern home- unknowing of what you were expecting before returning to your book, humming along to the radio as Tammy splashed you with her dive. Drawing a quick 10 score on your phones notes app and presenting it to her, Charlotte snorted and did a dive of her own as you all laughed and enjoyed the warm weather.

--

↳ Your did frown later that night when William had yet to text you, throwing your phone onto the bed. You really have to get yourself together, you thought to yourself- waiting here on some guy... some guy that treated me fairly. And in this day and age, it was a rare sight to find. Charlotte had already given you a major thumbs up as did the rest of your university friends and some of the past boyfriends you still kept in contact with. They all approved.

↳ Looking into your suitcase, you picked up Williams freshly washed shirt- you had forgotten to return it as your head drifted towards your phone. A perfect excuse to see him once more, your fingers drifted over the keys, breath paused on the send button before tapping the green arrow in a split second. Your adrenaline soared as you ruffled your hair, huffing out and looking at the shirt once more.

Your fingers drifted over the warn edges, pausing at the left breast pocket before your eyes went wide in shock. Displayed was the same coat of arms as Eddies regiment, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK. Was all you could think, hands now gripping at your roots as that text now burred your phone and your mind. It was the night before the wedding at by the looks of it, you were going to be up with your thoughts.

--

↳ The day of the wedding at arrived, you smoothed out your dress as you waited in front of the large wooden doors to the Halstead estate. The wedding was being held in the gardens- now in full bloom as the first week of summer sprang into season. The blush pink complimented your rosy cheeks as you sweated lightly in the blissful heat, everyone had already been partnered up and as the maid of honour- you were more than worried that Freddy's best man had yet to appear

Much to your shock, Edward slowed his steps, feet tripping over the blood red rug beneath your feet as he stumbled to a straight stand by your side. He dropped his gaze down towards your shoes, taking a long drag up of your form before casting you a charming smile. The voices around you soon became muffled as your gaze fell onto his broad shoulders, the scar against his chin and you wondered if the scar you left from throwing a rock at his head while children's was still behind his ear in the same place you remembered it to be.

He wore a navy suit, crisp white shirt underneath as his tie held small pink flowers- perfectly matching your dress. He picked up your hand, maintaining eye contact as he pressed a light kiss to your gloved hand. You were ever-so thankful for purchasing the matching gloves in this moment, holding that the material hid your light shakes from his reassuring hold. His hand soon slipped up your arm. Breath hitching as strings began to play in the background.

His fingers drifted to the skin left uncovered by your tall gloves and dresses arm before looping his arm with your own. The doors soon opened as you both faced forward, smiles plastered on brightly as you walked in perfect rhythm down the isle. You looked towards one another, a few gasps being hear distantly in the crowd yet you couldn't bring your eyes to see where the sound came from. Arms dropping as you continued separately to your respective sides.

Looking up towards the clear blue skies, letting out a breath, your gaze turned to find Freddy looking at you, soft smile on his face as he gave you a singular nod before turning to his wife who began her walk down the isle. You took her bouquet, tears streaming down your eyes as you silently sobbed in happiness for the couple.

You clapped when they kissed, cheered as Freddy dipped her as Lady Sabrina tossed a comment on their outrageous display yet you haded her the bouquet as she shut her mouth abruptly, turning quickly behind to stare at your mother who was already watching as you and Eddie walked down the isle, arm and arm. Your gaze solely focused on the couple, unknowing to the man on your arm who stared at you the whole time- enamoured by your happiness as another stood in the back isle's, rose in hand they stole from the gardens as they waited for the festivities to start.

--

↳ As the first dance had finished and the cake had been cut, the DJ started to turn on the selected playlist and you headed straight to the bar in order to hug the newly weds who had a mission of getting absolutely wasted by the end of the night. After chatting with them for a few moments, a cough from behind you has your eyes going wide as does everyone else in the general area who stops to watch

You pause, drink slipping through your fingers as they catch it just in time with a smirk. "Hello, love," William speaks in hushed tones, knowing of the curious glances around you. Your eyes fly across the white warm-event weather uniform he wears. The sharp colour of his blue pants matching his eyes as your mouth soon falls agape. He takes a hand, lightly underneath your chin as he closes your mouth, pressing a kiss to the side of your lips.

Your eye's drift over to his shoulder, looking at his rank as you return a kiss to his cheek in greeting, now taking the barstool behind you as he leans against the bar top, taking his hat off and setting it between you. "Why hello there, Lieutenant," you say before taking a sip of your drink to gain some liquid courage as the eyes around you both begin to turn back to their personal conversations.

"You know my rank?" he questions with a raised brow as you shrug your shoulders. "Have close friends in the military as well, memorized all that chest candy," you state, eyes now darting across the metals he displays. Williams chuckles, ordering himself a drink as the bartender nods in confirmation as you both ease into conversation with one another.

--

↳ Eddie currently talks with his family as Freddy perks his interest. "Did you see that guy she's been talking to at the bar?- dude is seriously laying it on thick." Freddy rolls his eyes as you throw your head back in laughter, hand pressed against the white uniform as the man looks down to your touch with another teeth-filled smile. Charlotte shrugs, stealing a sip of Eddies drink as their mother quickly steals the wine glass from her and returns it to Eddies open hand who tries to peer over Freddys shoulder as he continues on and on about the bachelor party he had.

Eddies eyes go wide, seeing the white uniform, seeing you pressed up against another mans chest as he spins you lightly, eyeing you up and down and how your dress twirls at your feet as you get both of your glass topped off once more. His gaze hardens as he catches Williams face, his arm drifting around your waist, mouth pressed to your ear as he kisses your skin teasingly- eyes darting towards the door as you look up at him through your lashes.

Eddie's hands turn into fists, his eyebrows furrowed as he starts to take a step forward yet Freddy still mindlessly talks as nobody is now listening as Charlotte begins to fill their mother in as she looks towards her son with concern. Hand ghosting on his arm that he has yet to take notice of. He watches as you bite your lip, pulling at his collar as you trace the seams of his uniform. Eddie lets out a sharp breath of air as he seems your lipstick begin to stain his skin, his mothers hand now tight against his arm as he stares down at it.

Charlotte shakes her hand, Sabrina now walking away to talk to your mother sat in the corner conversing with Tammy's parents. Freddy had finally taken notice of the lack of attention, returning to his wife's side as they stole bites from the cake before the official cutting. When Eddie turns back to see where you went, the bar is empty the door swinging closed as he speedily walks towards the hall only to find it empty both ways. As he begins to walk, a cough has him turning around to find Charlotte taking off her heels as she leans against the wall next to a suit of armour.

"Thought that you two were not together, no feelings right?" she presses, gaze determined as she slips off the last of her heels and begins to walk towards her brother who's shoulders only rise in their tensed form. He shakes himself off as she stands directly in front of him, shaking off his suit as he adjusts his suit-cuffs. "No, still is the case- just worried for my childhood friend is all."

"Alright, then..." Charlotte takes notice as his eyes keep darting back down the hall behind her, hope and hatred bleeding through his eyes as she smirk's, going in for the jab. "...If thats all you care about, he's a good man- that not right Captain?- They fucked a few times..." Charlotte presses her heels into her brothers chest as he keeps them there. His sister signals him to follow her outside as they begin to stroll towards the gardens all those Christmas's ago.

"She even told me she's in love with him-"

"What?" Edward asks in a breathy tone, his heart dropping as his sister continues walking further into the gardens and towards the centre fountain. "I warned you before Edwina, she's too good to have to wait so others take action. You had your time with her it seems, now it is time for someone else to take your place." She ends with a bittersweet smile. "You know... I always hoped she would become my actual sister- mom too but a best friend is better than nothing at all, right?"

The sharpness of her words twists itself deep in Edwards heart as he staggers, shoes dropped to the gravel beneath his feet, hands clenching at his tie that now seems too tight, his breathing laboured as he starts to see blood flashing on his hand and across his face. He hears your laughter filling his ears, the smell of your conditioner flooding his nose as it drifts off with the evening air.

--

↳ When Eddie returns to his work on boarder patrol, checking various people and their cars through the checkpoint. He enters the change-room at the end of every night, giving a nod and handing off his gun towards another officer who would be taking over the night patrol that evening.

↳ He often see's William changing as he enters, his shift ending 30 minutes before his own. He looks at the mans back, the angry red ail marks clawing their way up to his shoulders as the muscles his his back flex when a shirt covers up majority of the markings yet this shirt is old and warn. Having lost a great deal of his green colour, now a muted muddy colour as the neck hands low.

↳ Edward see's the the hickeys you undoubtedly left across his collarbones and neck, he recognizes that bite from the occasional moment you both shared as teenagers. William nods towards his superior officer outside of working hours. Picking up his jacket before moving to the sleeping quarters. Eddie sits on the centre bench, elbows against his knees, hands in his head as he grips and tugs at his hair. Frustration eating him alive as he imagines your touch, your lips against his own, the taste of your skin-

↳ Every day the same, every vacation time taken at a similar point as he notices a year afterwards the diamond ring hanging off Williams dog tags. He constant has been looking at it underneath his uniform throughout shifts, smiling before his mask returns as another car pulls forward. Eddies brain was struggling to come to cope with the images of that small ring hanging off Williams neck. He cursed himself alive as Freddy punched him square across the face when he drunkly ranted towards his brother a weekend he spent back home

↳ When he returned back to base, the ring he had around his dog tags was gone. William nodded towards the Captain as usual, that little display now irking him- pouring more fire into the gaping wound he sustained as the lieutenant paused. Face turning over his shoulder as eh spoke out into the empty change room, "I have been requested by management to switch towards the front lines... It has been a pleasure working with you sir. I wish you the best."

"Thank you, William. Do take care of her," Eddie states, looking at him square in the eyes. "Till the day she loves me no longer and afterwards," William promises before gently closing the door behind himself. Eddie does now feel himself crying before he calls his mother, not saying a word as he cries, she cries, as he can feel his fathers disappointment, his sisters distaste, and Eddies side remarks.

↳ But why stop at that? Eddie was soon being called back for your engagement photo, he glared at the ring on your finger. It's small for a jeweller, he thinks to himself yet had already bought the ticket, a gift and written a card voicing his congratulations to you both.

--

↳ Edward was beyond confused to walk into the empty venue space a few months later. Handmade stars hug above his head, a tray of champagne by his feet as the lights were dimmed, the afternoon sun finding its way through the blinds casting patterns onto the hardwood floors beneath. In his steps, the floors creaked as your tearstained face meet his eyes. He walked faster, taking a kneel beside you as you flung yourself into his chest as he dropped the gift, kicking it aside and held you tightly to himself. Hands beginning to drift through your hair as he pressed a kiss to the crown of your head.

He felt your tears staining his sweater, the rapid spikes of your shoulders as you sharply breathed between sobs. "H-He, He cheated on me! I fuckin' love another man and he cheats on me!" you wail, shaking your head into his neck as he rubs your back. Eddie holds himself from question the slight hope at, love another man.

"I am sorry to hear that darling, you are the most underserving person of such treatment I know. Downright motherfucker," Eddie whispers into your hair before you fall backwards, tugging Eddie by his shoulders to join you laying on the floors. You both stare up into the various stars coating the ceiling as you squeeze your hand in his own larger one.

A few moments pass as you listen to each other breathe in the empty room. Rain slowly begins to fall against the window panes as you turn your head to already find Eddie look at you with a soft smile. "Thank you, Eddie, for staying here with me... you're the best friend I could ever ask for," you speak out softly, hand resting on his cheek as he turns his head to kiss your palm.

"Always."

(pt.1) (pt.2) (pt.3)

↳ Taglist: @daffodilstark @leavemeslowly

[russellsppttemplates]

How about dad lando where their son begs him to play golf together

Fraser only needed to ask one time before Lando had a matching kit for your son so they could both play golf properly and comfortably, sitting in the kart next to Lando as they headed to their first spot.

"Come here, little man", Lando called Fraser, "I'm going to show you how to do it and then you can practise a few times, okay?", he suggested.

As Lando hit the ball, Fraser mimicked his movements, even going as far as raising his foot to stand on his tippy toes.

"Not that much, buddy - here, now we practise with you", Lando set his club down on the caddy and turned to help Fraser.

"I have to spin like this?", the little boy asked.

"It's not really a spin, you just turn around slightly", Lando offered, helping Fraser with the movement, "yes, like that, well done! Ready for your first try?".

"Yes, daddy!", Fraser smiled, getting the ball from his pocket and putting it down.

His pursed lips and focused face was so endearing that Lando felt a little guilty that he was keeping it to himself instead of taking a photo to send you and prove to you just how much your son also looked like you. You usually joked that Matilda, Fraser and Charlotte were Lando clones, but the pursed lips and furrowed eyebrows were all you.

"Daddy, was that good?", Fraser asked as he watched the ball fall.

"It was, Fraser! High five!", he cheered and lowered his hand so the boy could high five him.

"Off to the next one!", Fraser cheered before they drove there, "give me your phone, please, daddy - I'll send mummy a video of you!".

"Why?", Lando asked, still giving Fraser the phone nonetheless.

"Mummy said she wanted a photo of you in your kit - she said you looked handsome!", Fraser stated, "go go, I'll record it!".

Lando shook his head before swinging the club, watching it land perfectly, "that was a good one, wasn't it Fraser?", he offered, noticing he was still recording, "give me the phone and I'll do yours so mummy can see it too!".

Fraser got into position, "He's really good, lovie - just watch!", Lando smiled into the camera before turning the phone to record your son.

"Daddy! I got it, I got it!", Fraser clapped as the ball he hit fell on the hole, "Did you catch it?", he wondered.

"Mummy! I did it! Me and daddy are having a great day and then we're going home to you!", he beamed before Lando stopped recording.

"I'll send it to mummy just now, she'll love it!", Lando smiled.

(Thank you for sending this in ✨️)

[undead-supernova]

It's My Body and It Hates You / Masterlist

plot: memories are resurfacing. you thought that you were getting better. he wasn't haunting you now that you are with eddie. but, fuck, healing is just not that linear.

pairing: boyfriend!Eddie x afab!reader

important notes: this is about healing from previous sexual assault. this is as self-serving as it gets!!! and it can be HIGHLY TRIGGERING for other victims! but i thought maybe if someone else has gone through this before too, they could find comfort in it.

hate that I have to add this but please be respectful of my experiences. I have cowered away from posting this for months, but I think I should be allowed the right to shine a light on these issues and what intimacy looks like post-trauma.

wc: 3.4k

song reference: Everybody Loves You by Charlotte Lawrence (which has helped with my healing so so much over the last few years)

It starts the moment you wake up.

The remembering.

It’s his cerulean eyes you think about first, nearly glossed over with the glare of the morning light. The way it used to, at least. It made everything inside you soften; made everything slow down.

Back in the early days. Back when it didn’t fill you with melancholy. Back when you thought being in love meant to be in constant fear.

Way before you ever met someone like Eddie. Way before you knew that good men existed.

You look over to find Eddie gone already, having promised to help set up for a parade at the local middle school Nancy works at. He’s been teaching some of her students how to play guitar, even going so far as to buy them some cables and help update the sheet music they stashed in a closet.

Eddie’s good like that.

Generous. Observant. Selfless.

And it’s awful, but you wish he’d stayed home. Because something in you is starting to fall apart and it’s not pretty. It’s not palatable like they show on TV.

No, it’s something much more visceral.

It’s been almost four years since it started, since you fell into a not-so-serious relationship with some guy that turned into something sinister.

All of the running around and the secrets kept from your friend group that (not so surprisingly) doesn’t exist anymore. The ones who were so sure you were just obsessed with him. The ones who still talked to him after.

You were supposed to only have sex. That was it.

But, of course, what’s a little sex without his longing glances and soft embrace and sleeping over and early morning kisses? Sweet nothings, cuddles and hand holding?

But, no. He swore it to be friendship, just something casual. Even when he told you three separate times throughout your time together that he wanted something more. But it was fleeting, backtracking a day or two later to say he just wasn’t ready for a relationship. Ghosted you for two weeks, maybe a month at the most. Come back with a few sexts and suddenly you were fucking again. 

No strings, he’d say. We can’t be in a relationship.

So you stayed that way. Kept everything inside the best you could. Stood in the mirror with your lips sewn shut, tears trickling down your cheeks as if every teardrop was another regret. Smiled as much as you could, waiting for him to look away before you allowed yourself to let it falter.

And then there was the sex. That’s all anyone cared about in relationships, right? Not the person, just the body. Just the sexual object, a mere paperweight for the other to use.

The sex hurt from the beginning, his fingers never fitting right. His mouth always just a little bit too rough. But, fuck, it just always seemed to hurt. So you never truly finished, always faking it and finishing in the shower afterwards.

But you loved him. You loved the way he held you afterwards, the way his back shone in the morning light whenever he slept over. The fun little bickering back and forth whenever he was coming down from the dopamine rush. Ordering in and laughing at each other when stealing fries became a full-on wrestling match.

And at some point. 

Well. 

You stopped receiving. 

He’d try to arouse you, but ultimately it was always to please him. He was always too tired afterwards anyways. And though you wanted to stop, you just…did it anyways. You would sit there, reminding yourself that it would stop once you got him off. 

When it ends, it’ll be okay. He’ll stay. He’ll finally tell you he loves you. Just hold on. Just keep doing that and he’ll finish and then you’ll be fine. Just a few more minutes. Just do this. Just do that. 

Just, just, just… 

It’s fine.

Until it didn’t feel fine. Until he berated you one day, saying that the two of you couldn’t have sex every day and that your “friendship” was getting out of hand. That you wanted too much from him even though he was the one who initiated. 

Because, like with your emotions, you’d learned that if you attempted to initiate sex, the answer was no.

And so he yelled. And yelled. And yelled. Until you were sitting on the couch watching one of his lame TV shows and his hand ghosted over to your thigh. Stroked it. Gave you that look. Leaned in. Kissed you. Wrapped his fingers around your jaw and brought you back in unexpectedly.

This happened more times than you like to admit.

When he finally decided to commit, it lasted a month.

And, god, was it was a shitty month.

He introduced you to his mother who really didn’t care enough to ask you any questions about yourself and even made it a point to say that you and her son were very different—almost too different. When you told your friends, they weren’t happy for you. They were confused, even. He never talked about you, so how were you now suddenly dating? 

He never wanted to go on dates, never gave you anything special that he hadn’t stolen. Only called you beautiful between the sheets and told you he loved you in whispers. Even told you that telling him you miss him was manipulation, guilt tripping him into feeling bad for being gone.

So you stopped saying it. Stopped thinking about it. Started telling yourself to be grateful that he was still there.

When he dumped you that final time, on April 1st of all days, you’d laughed hysterically. It was the moment you realized that this was all he’d ever be. All he’d ever do. You saw all the patterns and the seduction and the manipulation and the fucking fucking and knew that this was a vicious cycle that would never end unless you were the one to cut the cord. 

And, well, you’d already snapped.

You thought that everything had been consensual. That you’d wanted it. Even though you didn’t, not one bit. You just wanted him to stay.

But it couldn’t have been rape. No, not at all.

But, like, you didn’t want it and you most definitely felt taken advantage of every single time and he definitely touched you whenever he wanted you to fuck him and get your arousal to distract you and the word coercion definitely sat in your mouth all funny and…

It had to be consensual. 

Right?

For two years, you thought you’d never go near romance again.

When you met Eddie, a friend of a friend, you were so confused by how gentle he was. Always having a smile for you, always telling your friend that he enjoyed your presence. He gave you little presents, like stickers and rocks from conventions and comic book stores. A few amethysts after you told him they were your favorite. Learned your coffee order and your favorite foods.

If you were hanging out, you were playing video games or board games with his friends or laughing or giggling or swapping embarrassing secrets or, or or...

His friends would leak in every now and then, filling up cups and hosting potlucks galore. Steve, Robin, and Nancy made sure to affirm your solidified place in their lives while Gareth, Grant, and Jeff made sure you were a key member in campaigns. 

And Eddie was always there at the end of those nights, washing your dishes and collecting trash just so you could catch some sleep.

It was such a stark contrast from the friend group you’d been in before.

And, fuck, you’d never felt so free.

A few months into your friendship, Eddie made it clear that he had feelings for you. Asked if you were feeling the same way and that he’d fuck off if you told him to. When you laughed and said you kind of liked him back, he asked you out on a proper date, something you hadn’t had before. 

He did that whole thing with the flowers and the tie and the car door and the restaurant door and the chair and the laughter and the nice champagne and the walking you up to your apartment. 

His arms were behind his back, keeping a safe distance. Under the dim flickering light of the hallway, his dark irises met yours. You searched them for any sign of danger.

But they were gentle. Kind. 

Warm.

And you stood there, waiting for him to kiss you or try to come in.

But he didn’t.

He’d said, “Could we do this again?”

You nodded. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

He turned to walk back down the stairs. But you touched his shoulder. 

“Wait, you’re not going to try to come in?”

Eddie merely smiled at you, tugging at the stray hairs leaving his bun. “Oh, uh. That’s not how I want to do things.”

“Really?”

He shook his head, still smiling. “Really. Sorry to disappoint—”

“No!” you exclaimed, maybe a little too loud. “No, I just. Um, no one’s ever— Anyways, it’s not important. I’m sorry. I’d love to go on a second date.”

You sat in bed that night, trying to ward away the nightmares creeping up. Feeling locked in place, feeling scared. Felt it in your arms. Your spine. Your cracked chest.

Feeling terrified that Eddie was just lying. 

Feeling doubtful that this would ever be more than some hookup.

And yet, it became anything but that.

On your sixth date, you finally told him about your ex, trying to explain why you were the way you were. Why you flinched at any casual touch and why the idea of being intimate was scary for you. Why you’d been so hesitant with Eddie in the first place. 

You rambled on and on, from the way you couldn’t even masturbate half of the time to avoiding porn because you flashed back to those moments. The ones where everything always had to hurt. The ones where you had to make yourself into a sex doll just to be seen. Just to have worth that ultimately meant nothing.

It was like your body was stuck, like it was empty and full of cobwebs. It was just the strangest sensation, like your body knew something you didn’t.

“It’s silly, I know,” you’d said. “I don’t know why it’s all still so scary for me. It’s not even a big deal.”

Eddie whispered your name then, hesitantly reaching his fingers out to skim yours. “And you have no idea why you feel this way?” he asked, an eyebrow lifting.

Yours furrowed. Softly, you asked, “What are you trying to say?”

“I think…” Eddie took a deep breath, closing his eyes momentarily before gazing at you again. “Um, I think he raped you.”

He watched your eyes widen then.

And as the waves of grief washed through you that night, Eddie held onto you. His strong arms anchored you to the life you had now, the one you were living in spite of this horror. 

But it didn’t mean any of this made sense. What had you done to deserve this? Where was your fault?

But, fuck, how could you have even known?

And why would that be your fault anyways?

“You don’t need to see this,” you’d sobbed, shaking your head. “I-I—”

You couldn’t even finish your sentence, heaving another sob before his arms tightened around you.

“You’re not alone,” he whispered, kissing your temple. “I’m here, okay?”

“I’m here.”

You cried the first time he made you cum. 

“It’s okay, sweetheart,” he’d cooed. “It’s okay. You’re safe with me, I promise. Let it out.”

You nodded then, taking your tired arms and wrapping them around his neck. Pulled him closer, closer than you’d been with anyone. Hugged him tight. Kept him inside you. Tried to remind yourself that he wasn’t going to walk away. He was here with you. He was present. 

​​Not too long after that, you’d been under him again, breathlessly thanking him.

Eddie had stilled inside you, leaning back to look into your glassy eyes. 

“What for?” he’d asked.

“For being so sweet to me,” you responded, sniffling. “For letting me feel good.”

“Sweetheart, I—” Eddie got choked up on the words, getting teary-eyed himself. “You never have to thank me for making sure you feel good, alright?” You nodded. “I want you to feel good. Always.”

Nodding again, you asked, “Would you…keep going? Please?”

He smiled then, wiping the sides of his eyes. “Yeah,” he breathed. “Anything you want.”

“Thank you,” you’d said, taking his hand in yours. “Thank you.”

After that, Eddie approached things a bit differently.

Even when he was fucking the shit out of you, which you didn’t even know could actually feel good, he was so gentle. Kissed your face after you came two, three times before praising you.

“You did so good, baby. So, so good.”

“So proud of you.”

“You’re so beautiful. I bet you knew that already, though. Absolutely perfect.”

It started to stitch back together something inside you that you didn’t know could be mended.

Somehow, within the last six months, you stopped being able to have sex.

It came out of nowhere—all the flashbacks and panic attacks. The moments of arousal that seem to wash away seconds after it’s felt. Hell, even the thought of masturbation has started to make you sad again.

Your body recoils from that kind of intimacy now, even Eddie’s touch being clouded with the memory of Him. And you’re working on it. You are. Sometimes you have therapy twice a week just to talk about it and undo whatever it is that’s starting to worm its way into your every day life.

Despite it all, you still try doing little things with him so that you can enjoy yourselves, like getting off while lying next to each other. It always ends in giddy laughter and gentle cuddling. Soft kisses and the promise for another round later.

But recently you can’t help but feel like you’re something that weighs him down, keeps him from experiencing true pleasure. That you’re just a tattered and torn tapestry that holds no image anymore.

By the time Eddie gets home that night, you’re on your third glass of wine, silently crying in your shared living room. It’s not the best sight, your white t-shirt gone after you’d spilled the drink while trying to sit down. You’re naked, chest stained with the scarlet liquid from shaky fingers. 

Eddie immediately throws the keys on the counter and rushes over to you. 

“Hey, what happened? What’s going on?” He gently runs his fingers through your hair. “What’s going on, sweetheart?”

You shake your head. “He’s back. In my head. I can’t get him out, Eddie. I can’t get him out.”

“Hey, come here. It’s going to be—”

He tries to wrap his arms around you, but it’s seconds before you’re pushing him away from you. You can’t feel Eddie tonight. No. You only feel Him. That monster, that unforgivable personification of hell.

“Stop! Stop!” you plead. “There’s so much pain. Just so much. I can’t keep doing this. It’s so painful.”

There’s nothing but those cobwebs inside you with little insects scurrying about. Maggots squirming in and out of your flesh. The hands, His hands that disemboweled you from the start, are still clawing at your ribcage. After all, He left you for dead, disgusting and discarded. Poisoned. Tained.

You’re suffering. 

And you don’t suffer beautifully. You’re not draped in silk sheets and clutching your pearls as your trauma washes over you in delicate, smudged mascara tears. No, your naked body shivers with the cold air and sticky spilled wine and your nails are crooked from the biting and the picking. Your eyes are sore and there’s something worse clawing at your throat.

“Baby, hey…” Eddie trails, lightly stroking your arm. “It’s okay. Just breathe for me, okay?”

“No, I’m so fucking done!” you scream, slamming your glass on the coffee table, watching as it cracks. “I can’t fucking believe this stupid thing happened to me and now I can’t do shit during sex and I’m just broken. I’m just fucking broken. And it’s all his fault!”

You choke on a sob, collapsing back onto the carpet. “It’s all his fault,” you whisper, overcome with sorrow.

“Hey, hey. Come here,” Eddie whispers, tentatively pulling you back into his arms. 

“I want this to be over with.” Your voice comes out exasperated. Exhausted. Like even the thought of having to keep going through this is about to do you in. “I just want it to be over.”

“I know.”

“It’s so gross. It’s so gross! I feel so fucking tainted and like I’m full of toxic waste. Like goo, you know? Just fucking oozing with the stuff.”

Eddie simply nods, holding you tighter to his chest. “Did you, like, get triggered? Last time, you said it was that detergent at the store.”

You shake your head. “No, it’s like I woke up being assaulted or something. It’s absolute bullshit. I thought I was done with this. I thought it was over. I thought I’d been to therapy enough that it was letting me get back to having sex and being normal.”

“Ah, come on, sweetheart,” he cooed. “There’s no such thing as being normal, especially after something like that. You know that.” You let out a huff, one of your stubborn ones that leaves a small smile on Eddie’s lips. “Besides, you’re the only one punishing yourself for not being able to have sex right now.”

Sniffling, you look up to meet his eyes. “You’re not mad at me?”

His eyebrows furrow, shaking his head as he continues to smile at you. “Why would I be mad at you, hm? I don’t want to have sex if you’re not feeling it.”

“Oh,” you say simply. “Okay. Yeah.”

Arms tightening, he states, “That’s how it should always be.”

You nod. “Yeah, you’re right.”

“And we have our things we do,” he adds, fiddling with your fingers. “You know, getting off at the same time.”

“You don’t think it’s weird?” you ask.

“Not to get, like, vulgar right now, but I think it’s hot.” That gets a laugh out of you. “I’m really into it ‘cause you’re super into it.”

“I like it,” you agree, the haze starting to dissipate from your vision. “It makes me feel safe and I just…it’s nice.”

“Then we can keep doing that until you’re ready to do anything else, alright?” 

You nod, still trying to clear the fog.

“I know what I signed up for, sweetheart,” he says, giving you a quick squeeze. “I knew it wasn’t going to be easy for you, no matter how much I wish it was.”

“I’m gonna get through this,” you say with a nod. “I know I can do this. I just need some time to figure out how to change what’s happening inside me.”

“See? That’s my girl,” he whispers, placing a gentle kiss to your forehead. “My strong, beautiful, brave girl.”

“How were the kids?”

It’s dark in your bed, the covers seemingly comfier than they’ve ever been. Eddie has you curled into his arms, hiding you away from the assailants and the monsters of the world. There’s no Him here. For now, you’re resting in the arms of solace. 

“Absolutely terrible,” he says, causing you to chuckle. “But I think they had fun. Nance is good at the teaching thing, bossing the kids around, you know?”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Would you keep talking to me?” you ask. “I want to hear more about your day.”

Eddie trails on, stroking your hair. He tells you about the tiny parade the classes had and how the mini float they made stopped moving halfway through. Steve came just in time to see it break down and they worked together to get it back up and running again. 

He says you would’ve had fun.

Says it’s okay that you weren’t okay enough to come.

Says it’s okay that you’re struggling with this.

“You’re doing your best,” he whispers as your eyes start to get too difficult to open. “And I love you so much. I’m right here with you.”

Love doesn’t come easily after sexual assault. When there’s no one left to trust and the idea of sex is appealing but the follow through fills you with intense anxiety, the thought of a relationship is…tough. It’s easy until it’s hard and it’s hard until it’s easy. It’s like every day comes with something new, whether it be good or bad.

Eddie’s the exception that you never saw coming. And you’re so fucking glad you were able to see the day where you got to meet him. Fall in love with him. Stay with him.

And he tells you one last truth before you fall asleep.

“You aren’t broken, even if you feel like it. Just a little bent, baby. That’s all.”

shout out to @strangergraphics for her dividers...and a big thanks to her for encouraging me to share this when I was giving up.

if you are going through anything like this, know that you're not alone. it's a scary experience and people don't really talk about the way the body is just as affected by trauma as the brain is. healing is not linear and you will get through this.

stay strong.