#and feel they're entitled to their opinions

[physalian]

Not-so-gentle reminder of things to think about before harassing someone over their opinion on a piece of media:

These are fictional characters who don’t know you exist and do not need you to be their knights in shining armor bullying the people who don’t kiss their asses.

These are fictional characters making fictional choices and one person’s love, criticism, or ambivalence toward them does not define their own personal morals and worldviews.

You are as entitled to your positive opinions as someone else is to their negative ones, and when you say “you just didn’t understand” how you’re coming across is “you didn’t draw the exact same conclusions I did, thus you are wrong” which is just not how media literacy works.

You are not the creator and the lines you draw and patterns you see (positive or negative) in a work of fiction are not objectively correct. They're your interpretation and we all interpret things differently.

You have no idea what is happening behind any given post you see and especially in fandom, people post impulsively a lot. If someone’s on here ripping a character you love apart, telling them they’re an awful person for doing so isn’t going to change their mind, and there’s a good chance the character they’re hating on is not the root cause of why they’re upset. That character may represent something very real in their own lives that you’ll never know about.

Thus, someone attacking a fictional character who does not know they exist and isn't real because they're having a bad day or are in a mood or simply don't like them is a whole different ballgame than seeing that post and attacking a very real person with thoughts and feelings because you are having a bad day or are in a mood.

I’ll rip a character or a story apart on here, but I’ll never attack the people who like them on here, and I’d implore more people to understand that “I don’t like X” does not mean “I don’t like that you like X” and it does not mean "I don't like X and don't like this piece of you that you see in X either".

If you don’t have something nice to say to somebody… don’t say it? Block and scroll on.

[lifezvictory]

If I had to pick a least favorite voice, it would have to be Smitten.

Even before Pristine Cut, I never found him as charming as everyone else seemed to. I'm aroace and romance repulsed so I thought that was what it mainly was, that he represented everything that irked me about romance as a concept. But I think it was more than that.

Smitten, though it might not seem that way at first glance, is selfish. He only cares about how he feels and no one else. Hero is clearly uncomfortable with the way that he acts about the Princess, and I, for the record, was uncomfortable and annoyed too, but is too nice to directly ask him to stop. (I know, I've been there.) But Smitten never listens. He keeps disrespecting everyone's boundaries over, and over, and over again.

He also believes that he is pure good and isn't doing anything wrong ("Would you rather believe me with my good nature?") But the most glaring flaw with him is his entitlement.

He will accept no less than the Princess being romantically in love with him. When she doesn't seem happy to be with him, he cannot even entertain the idea that she might not want him and completely snaps, blaming anyone and anything else before accepting the reality of the situation. Happily Ever After, to me, feels like a blatant depiction of an abusive relationship, with Damsel panicking when Quiet doesn't go along with things and desperately insisting to Smitten, who is now in her head, that she's happy with him. So much for him preferring she didn't have a voice in her head telling her what to do, I guess it's different when said voice is him. Very protagonist centered morality, that one. .

The more commonly disliked voices, Opportunist and Cold, I just can't manage to be as upset by. Do they do and say some very questionable things, to say the least? Yes. But the difference is, they're honest about it. Neither one of them even tries to hide their true nature, well maybe Oppy does but he's terrible at it, like a cartoon villain. You know right away not to fully trust either of them, that they are threats. Smitten on the other hand is far more subtle, to the point that I was gaslighting myself about his true nature before Pristine Cut came out. And he is far more similar to abusive and entitled people you would find in real life.

TLDR: Unpopular opinion, Smitten sucks actually.

[the-wayside]

I think it always boils down to entitlement. People feel entitled to being catered to and it's like, babe, honey, love muffin, no. You are a spectator, not a participant. This story was already told before it got to you. Creators tell the stories they want to tell. This is Jojo's baby and we are here to embrace his vision, good and bad. That's not to say we can't be critical, I just think, there's a difference between constructive criticism and disagreeing with narrative/plot trajectory.

When it comes to aces in the community, it really is like any group of people. You'll get ones who want to and do think they're better because they're the perfect version of that thing. That if you're sex repulsed, you're the most level of ace and then apply that to sex positive aces to try and negate their status. Those people get punched in the junk. For me and my particular bone I was picking, it's more about the lofty holding over of sex shaming from other allos. When it comes to aces and this is somewhat reductionist because when it comes to sex repulsed aces I can kinda ignore the sound because in reality they're never going to be onboard whereas allos are just knobs bringing purity culture into a space it doesn't need to be in.

It has always been difficult to be ace in an allospace and to find those stories that resonant but also if a story is clearly not for you, it's not for you. See entitlement. Life ie a circle and all that.

It's funny because back when old people ruled the internet, this stuff was tagged and now the young people walk around with these crusty unwashed ass opinions like, curate my experience, absolutely, tag your shit, it smells. But they don't like that either and so here we are again.

Bring back posting etiquette for the love of all that is safe and sane in fandom.

I know there's a back and forth culture in every show that shows sexually suggestive or explicit content and I'm not trying to weigh in on that but excluding the aces (not your problem, babes), I feel like some have never genuinely been horny. It's not a moral failing to relate to wanting to climb another person like a tree. If you're into mixing your junk with someone else, it's a nice thing, and stop making it weird. And if you do feel like you're morally superior for not "giving in to a base urge" seeing Fadel rock his own world, then not sorry you're an ugly hairy ball sack.

[fuck-sewingmachines]

I did some try on wedding dresses from Azazie the other day and I posted some pics of them in a Azazie Brides group I'm in for convenience for other brides so they can see them IRL, someone commented on my post "I think Azazie dresses look cheap"

Like um 1. I didn't ask? 2. Get off the group then??? Like...

[cecilscribbles]

I am a little confused so please correct me here you don’t dislike Stanley right?

not at all!!!!!! i find ford more compelling because i relate to him a lot more than i do stan, but i think they're both amazing characters

[plurpaws]

Why is the sparkledog community entirely consisted of incest/zoo/maps now I don't get it

In real life we say "hi" and "how are you"

But to answer this seriously... please don't send me asks like this. I shouldn't have to say anything else but it just makes me uncomfortable. thanks

[msnihilist]

I'm not super involved in the Nicktoons Unite fandom, but I have been combing through fics and I'm already tried of Danny being portrayed as the big brother/second smartest one instead of what he actually is: a fucking idiot.

[heich0e]

IT SUCKS!! SO BAD!! that sometimes i type up entire posts abt something i'm excited to talk about and all i can think of as i hesitate over the 'post now' button is how many ppl i like and follow who openly post abt hating that trope/subject so i just end up deleting it

[endlessfuckup]

saw your post about no longer wanting to be a phan blog and i just wanted to say i get you especially the reaction to this tour has been very uncomfortable and i could never figure out exactly why it felt... overbearing ig??? but it has been building and the tour leak and announcement just seemed to put a spotlight on people seem to have learned nothing from the previous years and seem to think that now that they're back it's okay to push their boundaries because they're engaging with us again. and tbh i appreciate you for helping put into words the discomfort ive been feeling and it sucks that it turned out like this that the enjoyment of the thing gets harder because of others

I was so so hoping it wouldn't get like this again

The first 5-6 months of the gaming channel being back were mostly wonderful

Everyone was behaving and respectfully enjoying dnp being back as a duo

I've seen/felt it building up over the past few months but I kept ignoring it because I figured it was just newer phans who didn't know about any of "the lore"

But every time I'd check their page out it would almost always be someone in their mid-late 20s who has been around for 10+ years

I was dumbfounded

I genuinely cannot believe people still treat Dan and Phil like tv characters who exist purely for entertaining the masses

Its really sad

[anastacialy]

y'know, i keep making a habit of swinging my bat at hornets nests, but i have to say i'm getting so, so tired of people complaining about shows not making perfect sense when they aren't even close to done. we're four episodes into this season of doctor who. we're four episodes into this season of bridgerton. and yet in both fandoms i keep seeing people whine that such and such didn't make sense or it wasn't explained all the way and by god you guys i think maybe explanations might come later in the season. this is something most viewers will recognize as being called a 'plot.'

[disneynerdpumpkin]

⚠️ Wish Defense Rant Warning ⚠️

ASHA DIDN'T WANT ALL THE WISHES TO BE GRANTED. I can't stress that enough.

Everyone is all like "Asha wanted all the wishes to be granted not all wishes can be granted that's so unrealistic you can't grant everyone's wishes and Magnifico isn't the villain"

Asha didn't want all the wishes to be granted. She VERY CLEARLY stated that she wanted to give the wishes BACK to the people (because Magnifico literally ripped the lives out of them by taking their wishes!). She even SAID that the dangerous wishes could be stopped!

ALL ASHA WANTED WAS TO GIVE THE WISHES BACK TO THE PEOPLE, NOT TO GRANT ALL OF THEM. She wanted all the wishes to have a chance at being granted, not to be granted. And through giving them back, the wishes could then be pursued themselves through their own determination; not relying on Magnifico to grant them.

"Giving the wishes back" and "granting the wishes" are two completely different things!

And not everyone's wishes were even granted at the end of the movie! They were left to pursue them themselves if they chose to do so. It's exactly like what Sabino said; "I may not pursue my wish but it's nice to know that I can."

The plot was not about Asha wanting to grant everyone's wishes. It was about giving them back (because you literally lose a piece of yourself when you give up your wish to Magnifico!!!) and restoring the lives of the people of Rosas.

People are acting like the wishes are like "oh, I wish I can have a ham sandwich for lunch tomorrow" Like no! The plot clearly states that the wishes aren't just any wishes. They're the ones that drive your heart, the one that makes you who you are. How would you feel if you gave your wish to Magnifico and you got your memory erased, and you don't even remember the most important part of yourself?!?!

People are even complaining about the concept of the wishes being in magic spheres. They're even complaining that "you can literally see the wishes in the spheres!" Like...obviously! How else is Magnifico supposed to see what the wishes are?!?!?!

I even heard someone say like "You can't grant all the wishes, like you can't grant a 5-year-old's wish to become a monkey" Did you even pay attention?! The plot clearly states, MANY times, that you have to be 18 or older to give up your wish to Magnifico! By then, the wish that drives your heart will probably be connected to your passion (like singing or music or baking, etc.).

Magnifico "decides to grant the wishes that are good for Rosas" because the wishes power his sorcery and magic when destroyed. And Magnifico literally makes his people forget the wishes they made, that's basically ripping out their personality from them! Giving their wishes to Magnifico literally rips the life out of them and physically drains them, and it pains them when their wishes are destroyed entirely. And then he's driven LITERALLY INSANE AND COMPLETELY UNHINGED with his sorcery. He literally keeps the wishes for himself. He literally ONLY GRANTS THE WISHES THAT BENEFIT HIMSELF AND HIS POWER. He's literally so manipulative and LIES about the wishes being dangerous! (He OUTRIGHT LIED about Sabino's wish. Inspiring the next generation is not a dangerous wish!) He's literally a narcissist.

HE IS THE VILLAIN.

Asha was actually a great protagonist. She does have some of that "adorkable" Disney heroine feel, but that doesn't make her a bad character. She was an amazing, very well developed character and her personality was great. Edit: she was NOT adorkable. She was such a well developed character and she was amazing.

I loved that she sketches and even does flipbook animation! SHE WAS NOT SELFISH. She didn't want all the wishes to be granted, she wanted to give the wishes back.

And apparently "This Wish" is getting hate just because there wasn't a big belt in the song. It's not that kind of song. Disney movies use songs to push the plot along. The overall tone and dynamics of the songs are what help the story along. "This Wish" is not one of those songs that has a loud belt in it. It's supposed to be quieter. Disney songs sound like they do for a reason. "This Wish" was beautifully performed by Ariana DeBose and didn't need a big belt.

Disney, David Metzger, Benjamin Rice, and Julia Michaels used a fresh approach on the songs and the animation; and because it's different than the most recent Disney animated movies, everyone goes lashing out on it just because it's fresh and new.

Clearly, people didn't pay attention when they were watching it.

Did they even watch Wish? I'm halfway convinced that secretly there's some sort of doppelganger bad version of Wish they watched, because we definitely did not watch the same movie.

The animation was absolutely gorgeous, the music was so fresh (and I may or may not listen to the soundtrack on repeat), the characters were awesome, the animation was absolutely stunning, the humor actually cracked me up, and this movie made me CRY and it gave me so many feels. Everything about this movie makes me so happy, it's such a fresh approach for Disney and it's a perfect love letter to Disney animation.

Disney genuinely worked so hard on Wish and it makes me so upset to see all the hate that it's getting.

Like Disney actually makes a really good movie for once and everybody's hating on it.

I understand the reasons that people didn't like Wish, and some of them I agree with, but that doesn't mean that I don't like it. I loved it and I thought it was great! I agree, there could've been some things better about it (they could've made it longer, that one lyrics "shareholders", etc.) but you don't have to go all out on hating this movie.

Could it have been better? Totally! Was it a horrible movie? Absolutely not.

All these "critics" and "movie reviewers" are just so nitpickity. They see a few TINY things wrong with the movie and then go "this is the worst Disney movie ever" and "this sucks so bad" and "Magnifico is the good guy" And they keep saying "this is an insult to Disney fans". How would you know? You're not a Disney fan, so how would you know? (Most) Disney fans, including me, actually loved the movie!

I'm literally crying because all the "reviews" are so negative and they're completely ruining this amazing movie for me. I just feel so shut down because (I'm sorry, I have to say it) all the negative reviews are wrong. And some of these "critics" are making these reviews without even having seen the movie!!! Wish was so magical and breathtaking, and it's been Disney's best movie in a very, very, very, very long time.

People keep bringing out all the negatives of Wish and never the positives. If they keep bringing up the negatives, people will only ever see Wish as a bad movie. Yes, there were some flaws (no movie is perfect!), but that doesn't mean that there's nothing good about it.

Disney was truly trying their hardest and yet Wish is getting hate after hate after hate. THEY GAVE THE FANS WHAT THEY WANTED. Incorporated 2D animation ✓ Fresh music ✓ Fairytale ✓ Original story ✓ Stunning animation ✓ Truckload of references ✓ Great characters ✓ Good protagonist ✓ Amazing songs ✓ An actual classic Disney villain with a great upbeat villain song (not to mention a DILF) ✓ Breathtaking design ✓ Detailed plot ✓

And yet people are STILL complaining!!! (I mean most of them aren't Disney fans so how would they know if a Disney movie's good or not)

I'm starting to think that this was a movie specifically aimed at fans; and it's getting so much hate because these "critics"/"reviewers" and these people watching the movie aren't Disney fans and they don't understand the magic and how hard Disney really worked on it.

They're like "oh the plot is so unoriginal". Since when has Disney ever made a movie specifically focusing on wishing, with tons of references, blending 2D style with 3D animation, and satisfying various fan demands? Like what Disney movie has ever had a plot so similar to this one? That's what I thought. NONE. It was literally made in honor of Disney 100. YES, there ARE callbacks to previous Disney movies (such as Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Sleeping Beauty, etc.). But these people are looking at all these similarities, then IMMEDIATELY jumping to "oh the plot is so unoriginal because they're combining previous Disney films to make this one".

And they're all like "oh the concept art was better". If you liked the concept art, that's great! I LOVE IT TOO! But every final design is carefully chosen for a reason.

They're all complaining about "Star could've been a shapeshifter and Asha and star boy could've had a romance". (but ngl I LOVEEEEE all the fanart and the concept art) and "we were robbed" and "it would've made the movie better" You're missing the point! Star carried the movie with Asha just fine as just a cute, magical, nonverbal star. STAR IS ADORABLE AND IS BY FAR ONE OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS FROM THE MOVIE. Wish was not a movie that needed romance. It would've been nice, sure, but the plot works without it.

Edit: STARBOY WASN'T EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE A LOVE INTEREST FOR ASHA. (Just found that out)

Also, people complaining about "we need romance" and "Disney hasn't given us romance in so long" Elemental. Did you watch Elemental?!?! That had romance!!!

Just because Asha's friends are based off the seven dwarfs doesn't mean that they're not great characters! Sure, I wish that they were a bit more original, but that doesn't mean they're bad characters! They might be based off of the seven dwarfs, but it WORKS. I loved all of Asha's friends.

Honestly, all of the hate for Wish is just plain hilarious now because none of it is even accurate.

As a Disney fan who actually loved it, I'm so so so scared of the hate I'm gonna get. Because the people who hated it are basically saying "either you hate it or you're wrong". And I shouldn't have to worry about that. Like what have I ever done to you? I'm not hating on the things you like, am I? Like I feel so bad about myself now because it seems like the only right thing to do is hate Wish, and that I'm not allowed to like it because a majority of people don't and that I'm a horrible person for liking it. I feel so terrible about liking Wish now because a majority of people are saying it's so bad and that if you don't despise it, you're wrong. And I don't think I should be feeling this way.

Edit: I can't even bring myself to even listen to the soundtrack anymore. As if someone is watching over my shoulder and will find out that I'm listening to it, and then they'll attack me for it.

I just wanna cry tbh like this is just so hard for me to deal with. I'm literally not allowed to like anything anymore. It's "it has to be 100% perfect with no flaws whatsoever or it's horrible".

Seriously?!?! Like that's so unrealistic no movie will ever be absolutely perfect all movies have flaws!!!

I WENT TO SEE WISH AND EXPECTED BETTER. I didn't get what I was expecting (and actually was a bit disappointed) but I STILL LOVED IT. You can like movies that have flaws. Sure, Wish wasn't perfect and yes, THERE WERE FLAWS. But that doesn't mean that there weren't good things about it either!!!

Most people who watched it I don't think payed attention to the movie (because what they're saying about it doesn't even line up with the plot!). So if you're hating on Wish, please keep your opinions to yourself and don't lash out on the people who liked it. You're perfectly entitled to your own opinion, it's just that some opinions are very hurtful to others and some aren't true.

Wish was a masterpiece (in my opinion), I enjoyed it a lot.

EDIT: I just found out that Wish won awards for "Best Animated Feature", "Best Songs", and "Best Original Score". If this doesn't tell you that this is a good movie, I don't know what will.

[anneapocalypse]

One thing that made the Sera Romance Experience™️really great for me is there is just so much Sera friendship content that meshes really well with the romance content to the point where it makes the romance feel even fuller. Like you've had the rooftop cookie talk, the pranks, and the gift quest during the long stretch of mid-game (where, I don't know about you, but my attention does start to wander a bit sometimes after I've completed WEWH and HLTA and still have a lot of sidequests and exploration to go clear before I'm ready to go do What Pride Had Wrought), and it just makes the romance feel that much richer to me. It feels like they're really spending time together and getting to know each other well.

And let me tell you, it was a bit of a shock to go from that into romancing Solas where he makes out with Lavellan on the balcony and tells her he loves her and then there's this loooong stretch of game where there's basically no romance content, not even a repeatable kiss, until he freaks out about Lavellan drinking from the Well, and then takes her to a waterfall to tell her about the vallaslin and then dump her. 😂 (And look I'm not mad about it, I understand that the Solas romance was added late and they had fewer resources and Trespasser more than makes up for it, but the lack of scenes is still very glaring and kind of funny if you try to interpret it diagetically.)

[backpackingspace]

an incomplete list of things I thought were pretty obvious bc I'm feeling petty

The jedi being about processing your emotions and grief and being able to work through the feelings in a healthy way

Odysseus being a rape victim

[aromanticannibal]

ppl really b acting as if there's only one specific ship that has weird shippers that will complain about ppl not shipping their otp. it's literally always the case you either get fucked over for liking a gay ship or for liking a straight ship or for liking a toxic ship or people just start going "oh there's nothing wrong with the ship but the shippers💀" and you don't fucking know what they're talking about. like can we all just chill. the weird shippers r everywhere it's called some ppl are assholes sometimes. it's not fandom specific

[altschmerzes]

one of the wildest like, tertiary characters in my online experience is this one really pissy asshole who pops up every so often on posts about comments on ao3 who is like, really really really upset about how there's a generally accepted fandom etiquette rule that you shouldn't just dump unsolicited criticism on people's fics. this person insists this is ruining fandom, obsessively replies to blogs like longlivefeedback whining at them about it, and insists it is uh. everyone else. who is sensitive and entitled. it's amazing to me every time i'm reminded they exist, but they just keep showing up lmaooo.

[bonebirds]

This got long but I'm fucking pissed. Content warnings for abuse mentions, trafficking mentions, discourse about discourse to prevent future discourse, "proshipper" nonsense, grooming, etc.

This is gonna be the one time I open my mouth about this because haha, hey, years of internalized fear and shame. I'm trying to lay down a boundary and that comes with so much anticipated backlash.

I do, for the record, have a background in Yelling about the crossroads of media/culture/literature/academia/games studies/trauma/capitalism. Which is a wide range and we can thank my comp exams in the PhD for that.

Since this is tumblr I also gotta just do the fuckin' disclaimer before anyone else feels like doing the "if you don't publicly condemn xyz then I'm gonna make your day worse" thing:

I don't participate in fandom and I don't ship things. I'm not about to defend specific instances or pairings because everything exists in subjective contexts, and texts especially so. But also, I have graduate degrees in English and text analysis and lived experience with CSA and trafficking that went on for a long fucking time. And I am very, very tired of being called the worst things you can call a trauma survivor because I don't care about shipping.

I'm not anti-ship, or whatever. I am not down for imposing my own trauma, feelings about it, and opinions on others in order to censor their art. Call me a proshipper if you want -- ignoring the part where I don't write fanfic or participate in fandom -- because I agree with them. I condemn CSA/CSEM, abusers, predators, the entire evil side of humanity but people who write fic aren't that. Neither are people who read it, even the most problematic of the problematic.

People can write, as fiction, as fantasy, whatever they want. There are no real people being harmed. I can distinguish between those things and, again, am a survivor of some very intense abuse. You're welcome to disagree. I'm fine with that if you're fine with me. I don't believe in absolutes when it comes to topics this complicated (and it is). I spent years on the opposite side, actually, because just the MENTION of things like incest or age gaps triggered me. And then I would do the same and get mad at the people writing it.

This is not healthy and it is not healing on either side of the argument.

But also in treating everything like such a monolithic moral purity test, where you're either good or deserve to suffer -- a test that I fail, because there is no room for things like Complexity -- you just spent a lot of time telling me I'm as bad as the people who trafficked me. Because of fiction. Because of fake things happening to fake people, based on an idea in someone else's head, people's real harm and real trauma means we're as bad as their abusers. That is so heavily the implication in so much of this talk. If I don't disregard my degrees, my training, my own experiences, my own principles and take a stand against people shipping things on the internet, I must basically be a predator!

That is violent and fucked up.

I don't want you around here, so block me and get it over with.

I (like a lot of people with trauma histories) use fiction and writing to process and heal. I don't even post them. A lot of that writing, and being able to seek it out, was helpful. It was a connection to someone else out in the world who maybe understood a little bit of the pain and fear and confusion.

There's a difference between fiction and real abuse. And the "but predators use it to groom vulnerable children" angle barely holds water -- predators use anything. Mainstream TV shows. Vending machine snacks. Gumballs. Access to a remote control to change a channel. A lot of things are more accessible and friendly to kids than making them read. Advocating for censorship, especially in today's political hellhouse, is not actually helpful. It just feels really righteous.

Which doesn't mean there aren't those trying to leverage fic to "normalize" abuse and grooming, I absolutely believe they have and do, but that does not justify externalizing your pain and trauma onto others, or policing them, or trying to take control back by claiming an imaginary moral high ground and pinning other people to it. It also doesn't mean that censoring the internet of all things icky to you saves the world, the kids, anything. It just means they'll find easier avenues, of which there are already so many. It also means you're all just attacking people from a place of presumed hurt rather than compassion, curiosity, anything like that.

So.

Anyone whose stance on this entire thing boils down to "you agree with me or you're a secret pedo enabler," you need to leave.

I'm happy to talk about it if you want! I don't think people trying to draw those lines are right but I think they're well-intentioned, until they start calling me shit that triggers entire mental collapses. You know. In the name of saving the children. Which hasn't been a red flag for conservatism and oppression for hundreds of years or anything, either. How many kids do you think are protected by shutting down places they can actually go and talk about the darkest shit in their heads? How many of us just suffer unbearable pain and isolation because the culture around us is shame-based and if you think about things like that, you're Just Like Them?

This ain't about protecting kids, basically. This discourse never has been. It's about being righteous and never examining why that is. It's about lashing out and displacement. I think the concern for victims is real, like I said, but that concern can translate to actual, real help elsewhere. People are DOING the work to make the internet safer. This? Is not that work.

You are responsible for how you manage your trauma and pain, and that has to include not taking it out on others. Full stop. Even when you disagree. Even when everything in your brain is going DANGER ALARMS DANGER ALARMS DANGER ALARMS WE MUST STOP THIS because someone ships something you think is wrong or uncomfortable. It sucks, and it sucks we have to do that, and it sucks we have to learn how. None of us asked to. None of us wanted to end up here. It's not victim blaming to say you're accountable for your own recovery.

But while you are here, maybe consider that the name/shame/blame model hasn't been working either. For hundreds of fucking years. We know shame doesn't motivate people to care, or learn.

But especially when you're weaponizing shame against trauma survivors for recognizing their own experiences in literature, art, stories. We all struggle with toxic shame. Using it against people until they agree with you?

Holy shit just look in the mirror one day, I guess. But block me first.