I skipped ahead with my video summaries for his Speaks channel because I heard a lot of interesting things about this video and I wanted to watch it myself. After this I’ll go back to where I left off and continue to write summaries for videos I find interesting.
I want to note a week before this video he stopped making his Speaks videos fundraisers / for charity. (You can see the word Fundraiser under the videos if they are for charity.)
Comments and likes / dislikes are disabled for this video.
(Note: I’m not repeating stories he’s told before and just putting them in parenthesis. I have a lot more videos to go until I’m caught up so that would save me a lot of time. If he gives details I never heard from him before, I will type those.)
“hiatus” November 1, 2020 Speaks
He says this is probably the last OnisionSpeaks video ever. He’s jokingly said that in the past and have done a lot of “I quit” videos, but back then he was trolling. This is not a troll and you don’t have to believe it him. You’ll see it’s true when he no longer posts videos to this channel.
(Times the internet called the police and animal control on him stories, pizza delivery trolls.) He implies you guys are hypocrites because you call animal control over alleged abuse toward animals, but then you’ll pay for animals to be killed and sent to him when you would order meat lover’s pizzas to his house. Says they’ll be studying the psychology of the stupidity of the Anti-Onision community for years.
He says he’s going to have his word here because this is his last video on Speaks.
(Shiloh said she was going kill herself to frame him story.) He says we used a video he filmed of her ranting about how he ruined her life. All because he broke up with her. He says you may not know, but some people are really like that.
He compliments his lighting in this video.
You know he didn’t do anything Anti-O accuses him of because when animal control, CPS, and the police show up they all turn out to be a fraudulent cases. You guys harass, terrorize, and bully someone until you get your way. Says it’s ironic because you say he’s a horrible person yet you lie to the police, animal control, and CPS.
(Someone tried to get him swatted story.)
(Twitter MAP troll story.) He says pedophiles are disgusting and they should have their balls chopped off. Pedophiles are attracted to prepubescent children. There’s nothing attractive about prepubescent children. Someone can’t have a pedophilic relationship with a 12 year old without the 12 year old being a victim. They are nowhere near socially, mentally or physically developed enough for such an interaction. People obsess over this concept, which makes him think they are projecting, and they project that onto him.
(Shiloh was taken away by the police story.) He tells his viewers to look up the police report. He says his name was Gregory Daniel at the time, he lived in the Tacoma, Washington area, and it was 2011. You might find a report for “boyfriend calls cops on girlfriend for threatening to kill herself and making it look like he did it and was hauled away by police.” He says if you look further back, you will see when he called the cops on Shiloh for other things and police concluded she needs to leave him alone because he was being harassed by her.
People say Onision should be in jail, but if you look at the history it doesn’t make sense. He dumped these people for committing crimes.
(People take pictures of his kids in public.) He says that’s how sick Anti-O freaks are. He’s trying to be a good father and protect the privacy of his children. He never tried to cash in on them or exploit them. [I guess minus all the clickbait videos he made to look like he was introducing them and the videos he made about their medical conditions. I don’t mean to nitpick, I just REALLY hate those videos.]
He has an Only Fans so there’s a pay wall so only adults can see his content. He says unless you steal someone’s credit card but that’s a while other issue and illegal on their part. Anti-O leak his OF content so now it’s available for kids. They’re the most pedophilic disgusting group he’s ever encountered.
Says CPS literally apologized to him for how degusting Anti-O groups are every time they showed up. You guys are like an evil cult.
He says CPS was called again.
He says he has a VPN, so he activates this thing and no one can trace his IP address. He says he used an IP blocker to access- [He laughs] “Most honest Youtuber here.” [This is his first time admitting this online, that’s why he’s stalling.] He used it to access “Ghetto Definitions” or “Street Definitions” [He means Urban Dictionary] “Onision” was ranked as “cuck” and the ones below it were nice. He wanted the nice definitions at the top so he used a VPN to vote for the good definitions to go to the top and it worked. They stayed at the top for a while. He says that was the first time he found out about IP blockers. He’s telling you this because he’s one of the most honest people you’ll ever encounter and lot of you are too stupid to know that. [Yep, pretending to be multiple people to manipulate a website that is based on voting is very honest.]
Says a lot of the people against him have admitted to being liars and he’s telling you he’s honest. That’s how stupid you guys are.
He made a poll asking if he or Hitler killed more people. You guys said Onision did, that’s how rational you are. Morons, cult of inbreds. [He was obviously looking for that outcome. That’s why he made that poll. He knows people will pick him because they think it’s funny and not because they are going off of historical facts. No one makes a serious poll asking if they killed more people than Hitler.]
He says “Ghetto Definitions” is now all filled with evil definitions that call him horrible things.
He says according to the CPS lady, someone reported Onision posted to Twitter that he was going to r-a-p-e and murder his family. He asks why would someone “r-a-p-e”? Murder? Go online and brag about it? He says it makes no sense. He says you’d mask your IP if you’re going to say something horrible online so it can’t be traced back to you. Says he’s never used a VPN to say something horrible, but doing that would be common sense.
This is why he’s quitting this channel. People can’t handle him having a controversial opinion or him kicking people out of his life for cheating and lying.
[He warned you about Shane, Social Repose, Blaire White, Shiloh stories] [Shiloh cheated and stole his money story] [Shiloh blog story]
He says Jaclyn Glenn and Blaire White are terrified of livestreaming with him. Blaire livestreamed with him 3 times and now she’s scared. He says one time she offered to livestream with him and he told her she needs to find a more productive way to spend her time. Shortly after she got canceled. She took the email he sent and said he’s trying to manipulate her. [I guess I missed the part where she was scared? They streamed three times and he rejected her recently for a stream?]
Blaire White is the one who started the witch hunt against him. She read off a news article that was bull crap. [It was not. You can read an archive of the article here.] She got canceled for admitting to taking hateful online rumors and using them in videos. He says she kind of canceled him in 2016, but he got re-cancelled later on. She was one of the leading voices against him when talking to Chris Hansen.
[Hansen is a fraud stories]
He says it’s one thing to go after him, but when you go after his family, we can’t do this anymore. You guys are fucking monsters so why would he grace you guys with his insight?
You guys have heroes like Jaclyn, Blaire, Repzion, Hansen and all these people who lie to you. They take your money and piss in your mouth and call it lemonade. The truth is right in front of you, screaming in your face and you only listen to Blaire and Repzion.
[He lists things he’s already mentioned about times he called people out and they wind up doing something shitty later on] He says you guys would blow up the car of the scientist who is trying to warn you the Earth is warming. You deserve a world that’s on fire because you don’t listen. You play dirty, attack people’s families, you try to get people swatted, you try to get their pets and children taken away, arrested, all because you disagreed with him or he dumped you.
He says he made a video about how he wouldn’t date anyone with BPD and Sarah came out and admitted to sexually extorting him.
The Anti-o cult has no morals. There was a guy with an orange shirt who was debating him in a livestream. They guy was warning a girl to watch out for Onision. She’s a fucking adult and he wasn’t interested in her. The orange shirt guy tried to reach out to the girl after the stream ended. It was actually orange shirt guy who wanted to fuck her and he was projecting.
He says he’s going to end the channel with one of his favorite quotes ever. [here we go] “You either die a FUCKING hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the CUNT ASS villain.”
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The Simpsons Season 32 Episode 9 Review: Sorry Not Sorry
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This The Simpsons review contains spoilers.
The Simpsons Season 32 Episode 9
The Simpsons season 32, episode 9, “Sorry Not Sorry,” teaches a valuable lesson for a hack comedy cartoon: when apologies don’t work, enforce bribery. This isn’t to belittle extortion, intimidation or other forms of larceny, but this is the twist which Simpsonizes the episode. The pre-seasonal greetings come with the opening credits, as we see signs to “stay 6 feet away from Santa,” and the couch gag which imagines the family as a Pac-Man game, with hungry, hungry Homer on the move until stupid Flanders ghosts him.
While the payoff gives us something less than a pre-Christmas miracle, but goes very far in redeeming the episode from a traditional copout. The teachers at Springfield Elementary are big dumb jerks, and Miss Hoover is one of the biggest. She is also one of its least visible, so it is good to see her featured, and flawed. Bart Simpson kissed Miss Krabappel in the earliest seasons. He’s exposed flaws in the system by accident. Lisa is a grade A student in a B minus world, and when she stands up against the idiocracy, she strikes a blow for good students everywhere.
Lisa tells the story to Homer, on the roof, while watching a meteor shower. He is very understanding, and she is very vulnerable. The tale spins out as a flashback to the day. The morning sequence is very funny, with gags coming as quickly as you can pour syrup onto melons. Santa’s Little Helper performs a greasy but graceless bit of physical comedy, which works even better as it spills out onto the street. The breakfast-gravy-Maggie sequence, of course, has to out slip the dog. It’s cute, lightly perilous, and ends with a perfect drop. But we know from the opening, the day is going to end on a remorseful night on the roof.
Lisa believes she has brought a truly inspired science project into class: she is honoring Gladys West, the woman who created GPS, and took away the excuse of getting lost on your way to places you don’t want to go. She is also the woman who lives at the center of the earth, as Bart observes. Lisa ties this project in with her dreams of Yale, though she has her snooze alarm set to a safety-school wakeup call. Some of the other projects are quite good; we learn German chocolate cake was invented by an American named German, who apparently loved cake.
In Miss Hoover’s defense, Lisa’s presentation goes over her time limit, but it is rousing enough to set Superintendent Chalmers spinning on his head. Normally his head is spinning at the antics of Principal Skinner. Hoover isn’t up to the job at the time, she’s actually lying down with a bad back and using an app to teach. So when Lisa calls her for a B minus grade, she’s got a point. Miss Hoover, of course, doubles down with what we should take as the overriding school curriculum: Truth has no place in this classroom.
Speaking truth to power sends Lisa down the road to rebellion. She undergoes the indignity of the detention frisk, and ultimate shakedown, as Willie mocks her for the tension tooth marks in her pencil and hocks its shavings in the event they turn out to be a quarter ounce of marijuana. The idea that he’ll be testing it in his water pipe later explains a lot about the character, and why he hasn’t taken a rake to Principal Skinner’s head.
The detention hall scene is well done. It is not Breakfast Club. It is The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, and throws in a little stinky, as Bart cuts through the other detainees crowding his sister with a stink bomb so potent, “it could only have been invented by a man with no nose.” It is amazing how believable that is when Bart says it. We can feel how the inventor smelled it with his ears.
Lisa thinks Miss Hoover should be in detention, but Bart’s first lesson is how that is redundant. Being a teacher is detention. He also warns her to watch out for the detention gang “the Magnificent Seven-Year-Olds.” Lisa’s turnaround is fun. The first thing she does is get the detention squad tattoo artist to give her Sharpie Tattoo some teeth. Lisa becomes a rebel at least once a season, and they are consistently good episodes, or at least standouts of their season.
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Bart protecting his sister is very touching, as is the scene under the covers where Lisa tells Marge what’s really bothering her, and Homer gets betrayed by his own hand in a campfire story (“Oh my God, it’s you.”). There is also a fun family vibe when Marge notes how funny it feels to drive Lisa home from detention. The trip also gives Maggie a character-enforcing visual bit where she takes a banana out of its peel to suck the peel. What makes it funnier is how she is looking to Lisa for approval while she is doing it.
Lisa’s argument has merit, women have to apologize for everything. But Yale is at stake and Yalemen apologize a cappella. No one from Springfield appears to ever apologize. Carl and Lenny fight over it at Moe’s bar. Moe only thinks it’s a good way to put someone off guard so he can piss in their gas tank later. There are self-help meetings about it, where Krusty the Clown admits he’s never even heard of the word appropriate. Inappropriate, yes. He hears that one all the time. But he’ll never apologize for it.
This is the core of it. At this juncture, Lisa can choose to empathize with Miss Hoover, or trick her with a soggy excuse for a non-apology. She then goes exploring Miss Hoover’s perspective. She watches her teacher pine over a recliner, break a quarter and slide home on a piece of cardboard to save her aching back. This looks really risky, how does she know she won’t get run over when it stops? Lisa slides down on what is probably tomorrow’s cardboard for the teacher to discover Hoover lives alone and doesn’t want her dog to eat her when she dies.
So the big lesson is Lisa walks a mile in Miss Hoover’s shoes, and it’s uncomfortable. Of course they’re painful, they’re several sizes too big, and the calluses are just awful. But we can’t have Simpsons just apologizing to teachers because their feet hurt. Miss Hoover has been phoning in her lessons for a long time. She is a hack and she’s been a hack since Lisa first came to class. Miss Hoover is the reason Lisa is the saddest kid in grade number two.
The episode has quite a few great mini-gags, such as that all the money in Lisa’s entire Yale piggy bank fund was going to go for a mini-fridge. The apology Lenny and Carl will never exchange is over a spoiler alert, which leads to us learning the Lady Gaga Star Is Born is the same as all the other ones. Also, Willie losing his fake accent on the word English is an unexpected giggle. But the best gag is saved for last as Homer plays Snoopy dreaming of being a World War I Flying Ace and chasing down the Red Baron. Curses, it’s good, Homer even does a perfect yowl to end it.
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“Sorry Not Sorry” is a very satisfying episode. Lisa’s apology works because it is earned, even though we always know it’s going to happen, they effectively pull off the suspense. But it is the bribery which actually skewers it into classic The Simpsons subversion. Everyone is a hack compared to Lisa, she’s an over-achieving, occasionally entitled older sister to the poster boy for underachievement. When she goes bad, good things follow. But her cynicism clinches this episode. She says straight out what an apology costs, and only then gets something in return. The fact that it’s the same as Ralph Wiggum gets is an extra cherry.
Chalkboard: I will not put laxatives in Santa’s cookies.
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