#and everyone knows aquaria is gonna win

[princess-boydyke]

Who should win Season 10 of RuPaul's Drag Race, in order

Aquaria

Eureka

Kameron Michaels

Asia O'Hara

[jan-uinely]

hot takes

okie dokie. grace has gathered her thoughts regarding ~recent events~ into what could appear to be an unoriginal take. but we’re going to share anyways. 

Drag Race cast a group of people for season 12 that had the greatest potential in a while. I mean a top 8 where you could see almost anyone in the top 4 is a pretty good gig. unfortunately, the producers have fucked over these gals so severely [in addition to other unfortunate events]. 

So #1. I don’t think they needed to cast SP in this season. should they have vetted better? yes [go to Sibling Rivalry for more] But seeing her essentially cut out, they still have enough to do. Also if she wasn’t there, the judges would not be sleeping on EVERYONE besides gigi.

So next. The ball challenge should have had aiden and brita lip sync. maybe Rock would have gone home in the next ep, who knows. but the producers saw a storyline there, and considering there was basically no drama anywhere else they decided to keep going and ensure that brita and aiden faced off later on. Now what has this led to? just far too much hate. and yes you can blame the fans, but production has to know that they play a part in this too. 

Next up of course is miss Jan Sport. now, she is everything i have ever wanted. Try-hard, super fan, musical theatre, Backpacks, etc. all of the above. checking those boxes. 

but the producers didn’t like her. [can i make it anymore obvious? no.] I think because she doesn’t check a box really besides ingenue, and that she was nice and didn’t start drama, that she would be easy to cut?? idk. 

It’s interesting. based on her promo look, I didn’t think much of her. It’s also interesting that she paints really young and gigi paints older. 

So the producers couldn’t find a good storyline from their past portfolios, and she was doing well in the challenges [say what you want, I think the only time she really deserved safe [as opposed to high or win] was snatch game] that the only way to get a story out of her was to break her. 

And so we arrive at season 12 episode 7. face crack heard round the world. She should have won the challenge. and the thing is, from all the commentary i’ve seen. everyone agrees that jan ought to have won the challenge. but it’s more than just taking it away from jan, it’s forcing gigi down our throats- and gig is likable. with such a talented cast, you don’t need to load 2 girls up with all the wins. You don’t need to force drama. You can just let it play out. see how the best of the best fare in the challenges. 

So entering episode 8, it’s all very very. no one’s going to be outright mad at gigi for winning the challenge because she wasn’t bad and production’s decisions are not her fault. 

jan pushing the brita storyline is great though. and I “believe” it but it’s still funny. 

So you now have jan in a position that is like the judges refuse to acknowledge anything you do as good enough. so being who she is, she puts it all on the floor in the commercial. And quite frankly, I didn’t think it was that bad. It kept me entertained the whole time [also bc im a fan] and it was very on brand- which is the whole point of the challenge. 

and herein lies production AGAIN. this is where you could have done a double save. Don’t put jan up for elimination. tbh Widow could have sent SP home. and then wouldn’t that be nice. however. gigi could have gone against widow and i wouldn’t be surprised if they used a double save there. or, as bob suggested, gigi v SP. but production had gotten the “sob stories” out of widow, and she had been safe, and they got the face crack from jan, who had also been safe. so they figured we milked them for what it’s worth, let’s just do this and we won’t have to make any hard decisions because we don’t like jan anyways. 

Now for the lip sync. I don’t disagree with the decision that was made. but. people saying jan was doing too much- that it didn’t fit the song? sure. but what would you expect her to do? 

idk if you’ve gone down the youtube rabbit hole, but I have! and you know how in season 10 monet was all very “I wear a bodysuit and bus driver wig bc I’m from NY” yeah. It checks out. and jan dances. Her all is pulling out all the stunts. and not being able to do that would suck for her. so the reveal totally checks. get into something comfortable to do everything that she can do. 

I will say [aside from the fact that trolls spoiled this for me] I knew in the first 3 seconds of the song that widow would win. It’s very hard to pull off a costume change in a lip sync for your life that takes more than a second and still win. On top of the whole “we’re not gonna send widow home in front of her idol” storyline, she did an excellent job. 

I saw a take on the internet that if it were ariana or gaga or robyn, jan would have turned it out and I think that’s true. 

It is interesting to note that there is this interesting trend in the dusted or busted scoring system that generally leaves one person 9-7th place with a good record- like usually 4th and 5th place has a worse record than one person 9-7.  

I don’t think the producers anticipated the fact that Jan is so likable [quite frankly most of them are]. or maybe they did. Or the fact that positively rn is just so severely lacking that having someone with jan’s personality on the show would be great. 

because it is interesting that they have not really had jan’s character on before. You have the violet/aquaria/gigi type who is the skinny white fashion queen that can turn out other things. you have the small town scrappy queen who is very charismatic. you have the “clown” You have the strictly fashion queens. You have the know it all. You have the villain edit. But the concept of someone who is [relatively] new to drag [Jan started in like ~ mid 2016 and the show was shot in 2019] who is very very good [i think it was in a live or something but someone was basically like Jan blew up very quickly in new york]. So it’s just fascinating. Yes, there were theatre queens in the past but Jan’s personality is “theatre kid” which i love.

And then you have copyright law working against her. Jansport the backpack vs Jan Sport the drag queen. it’s tricky. But there were so many missed opportunities because of the pesky copyright. For instance the ball ball. and just all the backpack jokes. 

Jan is set up very nicely for All Stars 6, and I for one can’t wait. 

It will be interesting to see how the rest of the season shakes out. I just think it would have been more interesting if producers weren’t pushing a predetermined ending. 

She told us from the beginning- there’s no choice but to stan. Who am I to do otherwise?

[artificialqueens]

drawing new lines, chapter one (Branjie) - Holtzmanns

(read on ao3) | (tumblr: plastiquetiaras) | (word count: 3756)

AN: Hello, new multichap! This one has been an extremely fun one to write so far, and I can’t wait to keep going. Hope you enjoy it as much as I do. Special thanks for Writ for being a wonderful beta, for listening to me throw ideas left write and centre and encouraging even the most headass of plots. Also shoutout to Barbie for coming up with Brooke’s career in this fic, aka wanting an architect Brooke. Title of the fic from Flying by Wrabel. Enjoy!

There’s no part of Vanessa’s day better than lunchtime.

The damn good lunch she’s packed if she’s meal prepped for the week. The myriad of cafeteria options if she hasn’t. The break from the politics and ridiculousness of working in the HR department. The top up of caffeine after her morning coffee begins to wear off.

But the best part of it all? Having forty five minutes to talk smack with Silky and A’keria, gossiping about their love lives and their coworkers and being noisy enough to annoy everyone else in the cafeteria.

Today, Vanessa’s the one partly responsible for inciting their shenanigans. She just can’t help it, not when Aquaria from marketing apparently has a new boyfriend and Vanessa knows for a fact that her new man ain’t gonna make her come as many times as Vanessa had when they were dating.

“I’m telling you, she ain’t never gonna have as good as when she had me.” Vanessa takes a sip of her coke as she watches Aquaria by the vending machine, arm in arm with her man.

“You don’t sound jealous at all, boo.” A’keria’s smile is all too knowing, and Vanessa has to stick her tongue out at her.

“I ain’t jealous.” She isn’t. “Aquaria was a total pillow princess in bed. You think I want that situation again? Nooo, thank you.”

Silky snickers. “We were almost convinced for a second there.”

“Please. I feel bad for her, if anything. She probably ain’t gonna get what she needs from him.” Vanessa tries to picture what the clean cut guy beside Aquaria does in bed. Somehow, with the side part and tucked in shirt and loafers, she finds that she can’t.

“And what is it that she needs? Your tongue? Your fingers?” A’keria wiggles her eyebrows. “Your strap?”

“Y’all hateful.” Vanessa scowls as Silky starts smacking the table from laughing so hard.

“All I’m saying is that Aquaria can do better. Though honestly, so can I. And she wasn’t even my last girlfriend. I can get me the ladies.” Vanessa scoffs as she says it. She totally can. She’s a ladykiller.

She is.

Ish.

“Is that so, Vanj? Tell us, who are the last few girls you got?” A’keria cocks her head, wiggles in her seat like she’s excited for Vanessa’s answer.

Hmph.

“Well. There was Aquaria, obviously. Who was all over me when we were dating. There was Kameron. Ariel. There was Scarlet for a short time, too.”

Silky wrinkles her nose. “Y’know, I always forget you dated Scarlet. That concept’s fucking weird.”

“It was fucking weird. That’s why we broke up so fast.” Vanessa shudders. “All I’m saying, though, is that I can get me a lady. I’m a catch, I really am. Hey, stop laughing!”

A’keria and Silky are too busy guffawing to hear her, and Vanessa can’t take this attack on her reputation, she really can’t. She’s got game, and she knows she can prove it.

“Fine. Name a lady. Any lady that works here, even if she straight. I bet I can get her to go out with me.” She wiggles her eyebrows. “It’s the Vanjie charm.”

“Ooh bitch, you’re asking for it. This gonna be good. We gotta think.” Silky drums her fingers on the table, leans back in her chair as A’keria takes a sip of her drink.

Vanessa takes a bite of her sandwich, tries not to be bothered as Silky and A’keria let out hmmms and I wonders. That is, until Silky slams her fist on the table.

“Brooke Lynn motherfucking Hytes.”

“What-”

“Not her-”

“I said what I said.” Silky gestures to Brooke, one of the firm’s top architecture project managers, currently waiting in line for her coffee across the cafeteria.

A specimen so fine that even Vanessa feels a tingle running down her spine. Or maybe that’s because she needs to pee.

Regardless.

“You land her? I’ll buy your lunch for a month.” Silky leans back in her seat, crosses her arms.

“Shit, really?” Vanessa raises an eyebrow at her. “An entire month?”

“You’re acting like you have a chance of success in the first place.” Silky looks a little too amused for Vanessa’s liking, and she feels herself bristle just a bit.

“I sure as hell do.” Sure, maybe Vanessa’s talking out of her ass, but she’s not gonna show it. Not to Silky and A’keria who are regarding her with smug smiles.

So what if Brooke, in her six inch stilettos and pencil skirt that hugs her ass perfectly, is sure as fuck out of Vanessa’s league? So what if Brooke’s known for turning down men and women alike that try to ask her out without so much as a second glance?

Brooke doesn’t wear a ring, which means that she’s fair game. And Vanessa’s going to make it happen.

“Just you wait. Imma make Miss Hytes fall head over heels for me, fuckers.”

Sure, the drama of Vanessa’s statement is slightly ruined by Silky letting out a snort, but the effect is strong enough.

Vanessa’s not going to have to meal prep for an entire month, if she can play her cards just right.

Brooke Lynn Hytes is a creature of habit.

Waking up, then going on a thirty minute run. Breakfast of kale and egg whites. Reaching work ten minutes early. Touching base with all the leads on her current project, making sure that it’s going smoothly. Getting the work done that she needs to before lunch rolls around, a lunch that she spends on her phone catching up with even more work emails. Working until precisely 4:30 pm, when she can roll out the door in time to make her spin class at 5:15 up in midtown.

There isn’t much that disrupts the routine if she has anything to say about it. That is, until she’s packing up at 4:32 and slipping her coat on and a woman knocks on her office door, entering before she can say anything.

“Hytes, right?” The woman flashes her a smile bright enough to knock out the power in the city, and Brooke’s attention is definitely captured away from her things on her desk.

The woman looks familiar. HR, maybe? Maybe the one who’d come around after John had said lewd things to Brooke’s secretary. Though Brooke’s not sure. “And you are…?”

“Oh! Right.” The woman pauses, sticking out a hand. “Vanessa.”

Brooke shakes the woman’s hand, noting that her grip is firm, something she always likes. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I’m here on…non work related business.”  Vanessa’s smile is sheepish, and Brooke pauses, waiting for her to continue, because she has no idea what the business could possibly be.

“So, here’s the thing. I have a bet to win that involves no meal prep for me for an entire month.” Vanessa drums her fingers on Brooke’s desk, almost nervously.  

Brooke raises an eyebrow. “What does that have to do with me?”

She’s never really interacted with Vanessa before, so she’s not sure how-

“The bet involves you, too.” Vanessa’s fidgety now, and it almost makes Brooke want to laugh, how nervous she is. “Two coworkers bet that I couldn’t get you to go out with me.”

Really?

Brooke snorts, because really, she should have expected it. “Did they, now?”

“Listen, I know it sounds wack-”

“No thanks.” Brooke goes back to packing up her things, tucking confidential files into the drawers of her desk, pulling her coat over her shoulders. “Don’t think I can help you out with that.”

Vanessa, for her part, remains unperturbed. “There’s perks. You can split the free food with me.”

Brooke snorts. “While that’s a very generous offer, I’m still going to have to say no.”

“Aw, why not?” Vanessa comes around the side of her desk, and Brooke gets a good look at her. She’s looking up at Brooke with a defiant expression in her eyes, one that doesn’t want to take no for an answer, and Brooke almost respects it.

But she also has a spin class to get to, which means that ‘almost’ isn’t really enough to make her want to be late.

“Okay, look.” Vanessa continues when Brooke doesn’t answer, instead focused on zipping up her coat. “This ain’t all just for my benefit. It could help you too.”

“Oh yeah? How so?” Brooke lets her keep talking for the sole fact that she wants to see where Vanessa’s reasoning will go. Vanessa’s incredibly entertaining, as much as Brooke doesn’t want to admit it.

“Ain’t there lots of people who try and snatch you up? You’re like The Bachelorette of this office building.”

Brooke has to hold back a laugh. “There are people that have tried to ask me out, yes. But I wouldn’t necessarily call myself that.”

“Chris Harrison must be lurking around here somewhere to host a season for you.” Vanessa’s grinning, and Brooke can’t help but notice how cute it is. “I’d wanna be on that season.”

“Would you now?”

“Yeah, but that’s not the point. The point is, you got lotsa people bothering you, right? This way you can pretend to date me and just say you’re taken.” Vanessa’s looking at her like she’s just solved the world’s biggest math problem.

“I don’t know if that would necessarily work. We’d have to convince people that we were actually together, first of all.”

Vanessa waves a hand. “It ain’t gonna take Oscar-worthy acting to fool these buffoons. We could do it. Plus, ain’t you got people who bother you about finding someone? Friends and shit?”

Brooke thinks back to her last get together with Nina, when they’d gotten drinks and Nina kept waving her engagement ring around like it was a prized possession, like having a ring on her finger had magically solved all of her problems. Which it hadn’t, obviously, because despite the engagement ring Nina still has to deal with her car transmission needing repairs and her boyfriend (fiancé) coming home from work too late. So what’s the point, really?

Though it never stops Nina and Courtney and Steve from trying to set Brooke up with their friends (‘wanna go out with her, she kissed me in college which means she’s definitely still a lesbian, right?’), from them lamenting on and on that Brooke will eventually find the right person, she will, despite the fact that Brooke doesn’t really care.

Or want to find anyone, really.

Brooke’s got her job and her vibrator. The only two things she needs in life, really, for fulfillment.

But Vanessa’s still standing there in her too tall heels that don’t do much to increase her height, really, an expectant look on her face as she waits for Brooke’s answer, Brooke can tell that Vanessa’s already gotten her figured out.

“Maybe.”

“This can get them off your back. All we gotta do is show up at some social engagements and work events and shit and, bam. Fake couple. We both get a payout.” Vanessa grins, really grins, rubbing her hands together like a scheming cartoon villain, and Brooke can’t help how entertaining she finds her.

“You’re still offering half of your free lunches?” Brooke holds back a snort.

“We can cross that bridge when we get to it.” Vanessa waves a hand, before reaching across Brooke’s desk to grab the stack of post-it notes that sits next to her coffee mug.

Vanessa scrawls ten digits in messy handwriting, sliding them across the desk towards Brooke. “In the meantime? Think about it. Get back to me. You can be part of the greatest finesse ever pulled at this godforsaken office. All you gotta do is say yes.”

With that, Vanessa turns on her heel and leaves, but not before shooting a wink in Brooke’s direction. Brooke finds herself stuck in place for longer than she wants to admit, replaying the sway in Vanessa’s hips as she lets the door close behind her.

She snaps out of it when she looks down at the numbers scrawled on the post-it note, followed by a short, almost indecipherable message in messy handwriting.

U know how to reach me. Xoxoxo, V.  

The text comes through a couple of days later when Vanessa’s going over some policy that her supervisor wants to review again for the millionth time, and she nearly drops her phone in excitement when the unknown number pops up, because finally.

Fine. We can try to do this.

“Yesssss!” Vanessa can’t help the little fist pump that escapes her, because Brooke’s agreed and she gets free food but most importantly, the chance to rub it in the faces of Silky and A’keria.

Vanessa saves the number as quick as she can before replying.

VVM: knew u would see the light sooner or later.

BLH: awful presumptuous.

VVM: it’s just smart business!

BLH: how is any of this a business deal?

VVM: I dunno but I sure as hell am feeling as smug as the suits in our office building.

BLH: regardless, we gotta lay down some ground rules. For this to even work.

VVM: I’m snoozing already

VVM: let’s do this over lunch

BLH: are you food motivated for everything in your life?

VVM: maybe

VVM: Benny’s at 12:30?

BLH: unbelievable

BLH: see you then

Benny’s Sandwich Shop is a hole in the wall across the street from their office building that, in Vanessa’s eyes, has the best damn paninis in the city. She rubs her hands together in excitement before digging into her veggie grilled sandwich, wanting to make it last as long as possible.

Brooke’s sitting across the table, and looking at her with a slightly raised eyebrow. “That excited for your sandwich?”

Vanessa scoffs at the sad looking bowl in front of Brooke. “Better than coming to a sandwich shop and ordering a damn salad. What are you, a rabbit?”

“A rabbit who knows what she likes.” Brooke raises her fork towards Vanessa before taking a bite. “So. Rules.”

“Right, rules.” Vanessa rummages in her bag before pulling out a notebook and pen. She’s not going to be unprepared, not when she can get free lunch from A’keria out of it. “Number one, no dating anyone else while we faking it. Obviously.”

“You’re acting as if that’s a rule I would break.” Brooke has a smile playing on her lips and Vanessa scoffs.

“Just being thorough. I won’t either, so.”

“Or I’d be so heartbroken if you did.”

Vanessa sticks her tongue out at Brooke, who seems to be enjoying their situation way too much. “Not even an hour into fake dating and you already pulling on my pigtails.”

“Sorry.” Brooke winks and Vanessa’s breath absolutely does not hitch in her throat at the sight, no ma’am. “Rule two?”

“We gotta show up at some events together. To sell it and all that, otherwise A’keria ain’t gonna buy it.” Vanessa can already see A’keria’s piercing gaze, can already hear the soft mmmhm that she always lets out whenever she gets suspicious.

“Doable.” Brooke writes it down in the notebook. “Events like what?”

“Like some group dinners or evenings out, or holiday or New Years parties coming up, shit like that. To make it look like we cuffed for the season.” Vanessa pictures going to holiday parties with Brooke hanging off of her arm, maybe in a tight dress that hugs her-

She needs to focus.

“Okay. Rule three?” Brooke’s pen is poised to write and Vanessa kinda likes it, how in sync they are already.

Vanessa almost doesn’t want to bring up the next one, but since it’ll be a big component of faking a relationship, she grits her teeth and leans forward on the table to ask the question. “PDA. Thoughts?”

Brooke wrinkles her nose. “Not too big on overdoing it, but I can take some pecks here and there. Holding hands, being arm in arm.”

Vanessa nearly awws, because Brooke’s description is akin to the time in seventh grade when she’d ‘dated’ a boy in her class for three weeks before he broke up with her by the baseball diamond.

Not her finest moment, dating wise.

“I can do that.” The more she thinks about it, the more Vanessa is open to the idea. Participating in all of the innocent, early parts of a relationship, the ones viewed by everyone.

A small part of Vanessa wonders how Brooke’s hand will fit in hers, if it’ll be warm or cold. If she’ll fit against Brooke’s side like she belongs there. She’s excited to find out.

Brooke leans forward in her seat. “Not a rule but - how are we going to tell people we started seeing each other? What will the story be?”

Vanessa pauses and thinks, really thinks. She wants it to be elaborate but not so elaborate that it’s unbelievable, but just enough detail to convince others that their story is authentic.

“Easy. We ran into each other in the hall and you spilled coffee on my shirt and helped me clean it up in the bathroom, and the rest is history.” Vanessa’s proud of her imagination, really, until Brooke snorts.

“So we started dating because you took your shirt off?”

Vanessa huffs. “Got any better ideas?”

“Sticking with the coffee theme, here’s one. We started talking in the line for Starbucks and coincidentally ordered the same drink, then sat and talked about it, before talking about other things. Then you left your number on my cup before you left.” Brooke looks entirely too pleased with herself, the smile lighting her features as she takes a bite of her salad.

Vanessa’s not sold, though. “Why am I the one who writes the number?”

“Why, never had the balls to leave a lady your number before?”

“Hey.” Vanessa swats at Brooke’s arm, ignores the way she’s snickering. She knows that Brooke’s trying to bait her, she is, that somehow she’s already figured out the way that Vanessa ticks.

Doesn’t mean she’s going to try something different this time, though.

“Fine. I write the number. Let’s go with yours.” Vanessa lets out a huff before grabbing the pen from Brooke’s hand, writing their origin story on a corner of the page.

But they need to get back to the task at hand, something that Vanessa realizes when she puts the lid back on her pen. She uncaps it once more. “Rule number four. Social media. We gotta add each other on Instagram and post with each other here and there.”

“All I post on Instagram are my two cats.” Brooke’s smile is sheepish and Vanessa can’t help but let out a snort.

“Shit, you sure you ain’t a crazy cat lady?” Vanessa winks at her before reaching out, grabbing her hand, something that feels more right than it should. “We’ll sprinkle in some actual humans in between the cats.”

Brooke squeezes her hand back, something that doesn’t escape her notice. “Fine. Gimme your phone so I can add myself.”

Vanessa files a note to herself to stalk through Brooke’s instagram later after Brooke accepts her follow request, to look past the cats and for some more information about her, maybe about her past exes-

Nah. Just to be thorough, make sure she knows just enough.

Brooke holds up her own phone, the screen on a boomerang of Vanessa on holiday with Silky, facing away from the camera and pulling her bikini bottoms down for just a second. “Seems like your vacations are fun.”

“Bitch-hey. ” Vanessa tries to reach for Brooke’s phone but Brooke’s arms are longer, easily holding the phone out of Vanessa’s way.

“I feel like I’m going to have a great time scrolling through your instagram, I really do.” Brooke’s looking smug, too smug, and Vanessa huffs.

“Don’t think I won’t find your weird ass posts, too.”

Brooke’s eyes are sparkling. “I know you will. Though I’m not as defensive as you are.“

“Okay, last rule.” Vanessa shoves the notebook in between them, intent on distracting Brooke from her nightmare of an Instagram account. “Five seems like a good place to end. Any ideas?”

“I got one.” Brooke leans forward in her seat slightly. “Promise not to fall in love with me by the end of this.”

Vanessa lets out a laugh, an actual laugh, because Brooke is awful presumptuous. “I’m only in this for free food and bragging rights against A’keria. That won’t be a problem at all, don’t you worry your little blonde head.” She pauses, looking back over at Brooke, who still has a shit eating grin on her face. “And you can’t fall in love with me, either. I know I’m irresistible and all that, but-”

Brooke raises an eyebrow. “Please. I’m just doing this to get my friends off my back. You’ll be just fine.”

Vanessa wonders what it’ll be like meeting Brooke’s friends. What they’re like, what they’ll think of her. Not that it matters, really, since it’s all gonna be fake. But still.

“I think that about covers it all.” Vanessa looks at their list, pleased with how it’s all beginning to come together. “We’ll be able to fool these hoes, easy.”

“You think so?” Brooke trails her pen over the list, as if she’s trying to find something that they’ve missed.

“I know so. And hey, if we wanna add or take something out, we can always change it. This list open to edits.”

Brooke looks satisfied. “Good. And like any good paper contract, we have to sign on the dotted line.”

Her signature on the bottom of the page is fancy, all loops and flourishes and Vanessa can’t help but scoff. “What kinda extra-ass signature is that?”

“A nice one. Yours is boring.” Brooke points to Vanessa’s, smaller and definitely one with less loops and Vanessa crosses her arms.

“You’re boring.”

“Ooh, great comeback.” Brooke’s smiling, though, and it keeps Vanessa from wanting to reach over the table and shove her. “So, are we good to go?”

Vanessa sticks out a hand and Brooke shakes it with a firm grip. “That we are, blondie. Time to pull the greatest trick that our office ever did see.”

Rules:

No dating anyone else.

Show up at events together.

Light PDA only.

Interact on social media like a couple.

No falling in love.

Instagram story posted by @vanessavanjie. Location: @bennysdiner. Tagged: @bhytes. Description: A boomerang of Brooke Lynn Hytes sitting at a table, munching on what appears to be a salad. A gif of a rabbit eating a carrot is in the bottom left corner.

[thanksjro]

Eugenesis, Part Five Scene Seven: Optimus Prime Does Not Know How War Works

The Aquaria team’s about to leave, and they’re all looking positively ridiculous in their fresh new Pretender shells.

This raises a few questions about Magnus’ design. Are the towers meant to come off, or was more of a surgical amputation? If they do come off naturally, why does he keep them on at all times? Does he take them off, and if so, for what occasions? Is Magnus compensating for something?

Siren’s being seen off by Nightbeat, since they’re besties and all. Nightbeat’s caught on to the fact that Siren doesn’t really want to go on this mission. Not like he was subtle about it, but good on you for at least trying to figure out what’s up with ya boy. Siren tries to pass it off as not wanting to leave Delphi behind, but Nightbeat calls him out on that immediately.

Nightbeat, that’s a drop in the ocean for every single one of your species. You’re all old as balls, except for Ultra Magnus and Centurion, and Centurion isn’t even really a Transformer.

Siren relents, admitting that the reason he doesn’t want to go is that he knows they won’t be coming back.

…Siren, come on, man, Nightbeat’s supposed to be the bummer here. This is the real reason he snapped that data disk in half back at the meeting; he’s terrified.

The Aquaria team takes off, and the crowd quickly disperses, leaving Nightbeat and Optimus staring out into the sky.

Optimus needs to leave for his own mission.

Nightbeat, you just saw your best friend off to his probable demise. Please consider perhaps not flirting with your superior officer right now.

Aboard the Trident, Ultra Magnus is beginning to regret not calling shotgun, having been shoved into the backseat. Galvatron’s driving. God help us all.

Magnus notices that they aren’t going in the direction they ought to be- namely up. Galvatron’s got them booking it to Vos of all places, where he quickly lands and shoots out of the ship like a man possessed.

Magnus follows Galvatron, tracking him down the Proton Crater- this is where the Decepticons set off a proton bomb, the very one that caused the entire planet of Cybertron to be thrown into a four-million year war.  

That’s right, Magnus is a nineties kid.

Magnus and Galvatron jump down a hole and wind up in a subterranean duct-system that’s lined with glass for some reason. Galvatron shuts down traps as they go, until they hit a trapdoor with a keypad.

…Okay, hold on, I remember this one from math class.

Now that’s just gratuitous.

They enter the inner sanctum, which holds a glass orb held in a beam of light, containing a single creature- a Scraplet.

That’s right, there’s Scraplets now. Siren might be right about them not making it back to Cybertron.

Back when Cybertron was dealing with the aftermath of something called the Great Plague, the leader of the Decepticons at the time ordered that the Scraplets be studied. These things are literally so scary only a single scientist would get even remotely close enough to take a look at them. Turns out they don’t like glass.

Galvatron took the detour to grab this little specimen because he knows it’s only a matter of time before the Quintessons would have started digging in this area looking for secrets. No way he’s letting them kill everything on the planet.

Siren ain’t making it home.

Over at Kledji concentration camp, the Quintessential Flying Fucks are doing a little spring cleaning.

Yep, spring cleaning. The boys have decided to kill every single guard in the prison, as a show of force to Quantax- he ain’t getting rid of them without a fight. No wonder they missed Quantax’s call.

I feel like I’ve perhaps missed something. This seems like a bit of a jump in logic from the last time we saw these guys, even with the reveal of Ryknia’s Chip.

I guess this makes sense. Still seems like things got a little out of hand here.

Oh, and all the Transformers in this prison are still dying off.

Because you’re in Eugenesis, a place of suffering where nothing goes right and everyone is clinically depressed.

Ryknia’s decided that they should be proactive and murder Quantax as soon as he shows up, then rule the planet themselves. They have the advantage in numbers, and in having hot robot-jet bodies. The troops will fall in line with whoever wins.  

Holy shit, I was kidding, you maniac.

Ryknia wants them to leave the prison immediately.

Jolup you sick fuck, don’t think I have ideas on what you’re doing down there. Ryknia has just straight up lost it at this point.

There was no reason for that.

He jumps out the window and flies away, not bothering to wait and see if the other two are going to follow him.

Back at Delphi, another meeting is happening.

I want to know what kind of orgies Roberts went to that in any way resembled a mission briefing, with or without giant space robots. I want to know where this mental imagery is being pulled from.

Everyone’s eager to get going on the counterattack.  

Optimus you should be thrilled. This could be the start of the end of your several million year war, and you’re hung up on folks getting vaguely comfortable with one another? Would you rather they be at each other’s throats while you try to organize this attack on the Quintesson Fortress? I’m starting to think you don’t actually want this war to end. I got my eye on you, bucko.

Nobody tell him about the hit Rodimus put out on the Time Travel Trio.

Optimus gets on with his speech, showing us exactly how a self-fulfilling prophecy works. He- the god-king of the Autobots, beloved and worshipped by all- gives them a rip-and-slash monologue on how they’re basically the best at war and are gonna kick some ass. The crowd eats it up, because it’s fucking OPTIMUS PRIME saying it.

And he has the nerve to be disappointed in everyone.  

This motherfucker could read the back of a soup can label and they’d go nuts over it. Optimus doesn’t seem to realize how much of an icon he is at this point, even after the Nightbeat/Hosehead/everyone instances of hero worship.  

I’d like to remind everyone that this is the same guy who joined the Autobots so he could punch Megatron in the face. Somebody go get Soundwave and have him tell Optimus just how conflicted Galvatron is about continuing this stupid war. Quickly, before he starts grounding everyone for being excited about stopping a genocide.

Anyway, that’s the end of Part Five.

Oh, shut up.

[dawnofaqua]

Season Greetings (Aquameron)

AND THIS IS FINALLY HERE CAN YOU BELIEVE IT. It’s way shorter than my usual writing but what the heck, I think it’s supersweet and I promised this fandom some content for weeks, so HERE YA GO. It’s based on the season reunion, since a few weeks ago someone actually asked to read of someone cheering up Kameron after it.

Huge thanks to my love @aqlemonade that basically decided the title of this fic because I had no idea how to call it lmao LOVE U BABE

With a deep sigh, Kameron sat down in front of the mirror. Well, that didn’t quite go as expected: who knew Dusty and Monique felt so strongly about her? 

All of her life she had been the outsider, the quiet one - especially with people she respected. She couldn’t help but think about all the different ways she could mess up what she was gonna say or do, to the point where she simply decided to stay silent most of the times, unless she felt really comfortable with other people. That was the same with the other queens: for the whole show she talked very little, even if she still managed to get to know Eureka and form a bond with her, but only until they were all starting to travel around for the viewing party that Kameron could say she was starting to develop some kind of friendship with them. When they arrived to film the reunion, right after the finale, Kameron was happy and enthusiastic: they were finally able to spend some time together in Los Angeles between one filming and the other, all fourteen of them, and so far it had been fun - little did she know that she would end up getting attacked by both Dusty and Monique for being so silent. It came out without a warning during the recording of the reunion, and even after the few days in Los Angeles where she thought she had been kind towards every one of the girls, apparently she was wrong.

It was a very harsh wake up call; she had a lot to think about once the filming was done, and it didn’t help that none of the girls thought she had what it takes to win. Yes, Kameron decided to audition for the show without thinking too much of it, she was sure she wasn’t gonna get picked - but then it happened, and now she was standing in the top four. After the whole journey she was proud of herself, and she wanted the recognition from her sisters of her talent.

Kameron started wiping her makeup off, as quick as possible: she was the first to arrive in the changing room and she hoped the other girls would take their time chatting with each other, because she really wasn’t in the mood to talk now, even less than usual. She had to think about what just happened and how to deal with it… but she surely couldn’t do it now, not when the wound was still fresh.

She was staring at her reflection in the mirror, rubbing the wipe on her face with the most strength she ever used to do it, when the door opened and Aquaria came in. Her look was one of the funniest of the night to Kameron, and she even laughed once Aquaria showed her the “Stunning” rings she had on her hands - but now it only reminded her of Monique and the whole drama that had just happened.

She always thought Aquaria and her had a good relationship, but right now even her own mother could walk in and Kameron would tense, worried: should she smile at her? Should she say something? She didn’t know what was better, and in the end she did what she would always do: she kept staring at the mirror, doing her job.

Aquaria didn’t say anything: she sat down next to her, placing the hat on the table in front of her and fixing the wig with her hands. Kameron relaxed after a few seconds; there was something quite calming with Aquaria’s presence: maybe because she was the youngest one and even if she was probably one of the most confident in the group, there was still some kind of softness to her that, once discovered, made people really like her. It wasn’t a mystery that once they started recording the season almost no one liked Aquaria, but the more time passed, the more everyone could see that she was just a huge dork, and one of the sweetest around. She was mature enough to own up to her mistakes and try to make it better, something Kameron was really impressed with - something she wanted to do as well about that whole situation.

“You okay?”

Aquaria’s voice broke the silence, and Kameron was so much in her head that she was taken by surprise by it - to the point she almost lost her balance on the chair. Aquaria was as quick as possible to place a hand on it, trying to stop her from falling down, then she laughed a little.

“Damn, am I suddenly that scary?”

Kameron smiled at her; even a simple joke like that was enough to make her feel a little better. Maybe she took the whole thing too badly since now she was expecting every girl to be awkward around her, but seeing Aquaria being as comfortable as usual was cathartic. It surely made her feel like she could talk to her, at least more than she could talk to Monique or Dusty who now were probably not interested in hearing from her, at least not so soon.

“I was just thinking. You’re too tiny to be scary.”

Aquaria pouted at her answer, earning a smile from Kameron. Being around the younger queen was like drinking a fresh glass of water: it was difficult not to like the way she rambled or stuttered during interviews, the puns she could come up in two seconds or simply her smile, so bright and big that immediately made everyone want to smile as well.

“Sharon won’t be happy about it.”

She joked then, while starting to wipe the makeup from her face as well. That let Kameron take her eyes off the mirror again, even if from time to time she would glance over at her: if at first she wanted nothing more but to be alone, now she was actually happy to be able to act as she usually did in that kind of situation.

For a while they just kept wiping their makeup off, Kameron even took off the head piece and the wig she had on her head with a sigh of relief - the more time passed, the more Dane was showing up under Kameron.

“How are you holding up?”

Aquaria, or Giovanni since she almost didn’t have any makeup on anymore, finally spoke again. This time the voice lacked of any kind of humor while he placed his hand on Dane’s, giving it a light squeeze.

It was always kind of weird seeing his eyes so serious and worried. The thought that Giovanni was actually concerned about him made his heart warm up: that was the only thing he needed. Someone to look after him, and even if that was coming from someone ten years younger than him, Dane still felt protected. Gio’s hand was warm, and suddenly the whole discussion that happened before came down on him again pretty hard. He let out a shaky sigh, looking again in the mirror just to try and remain calm.

“I’m okay… more or less.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

Dane bit his lip, shaking his head a little. What more could be said? He clearly did something wrong if both Dusty and Monique felt as if he didn’t want a friendship with them, but he still thought that the whole situation was uncalled for. If they only told him how they were feeling, things could’ve been settled way before and without all the drama that was gonna air in a few weeks; that not only meant that he was gonna feel shitty about it the whole day, but that the whole world would see it as well and she could already see all the messages she was gonna receive. It wasn’t anything new, since the season aired every one of the girls were getting some kind of hate - some more than others, and even if at the start Kameron wasn’t one of those, now that she was in the top four people were way more aggressive than ever. While he tried to ignore it as much as possible because he didn’t even get it as bad as other girls, Dane was still affected by it. The thought of the messages he would surely find on his Instagram once the reunion aired made him nervous, enough for Giovanni to notice apparently, because the hand that was on his own at first slipped up on his arm, until he felt it gently grabbing his shoulder.

“Hey. Everything will be alright, I can assure you.”

Dane glanced at him; Giovanni really looked sure of it, while he wasn’t at all. Yes, he was gonna talk to both Monique and Dusty, but what if they didn’t really want to make up? And what about the whole world that was gonna judge him for something they didn’t experience in the first place, from an episode of a tv show that lasted an hour?

“I don’t know. People are gonna be upset.”

Giovanni shrugged.

“They always are when they don’t understand something or someone. Let them be upset, whatever they feel is none of your business.”

He made it so simple; Gio never looked bothered by the comments he received on social medias. At the start of the season he was one of the queens to get the worst since people thought he was a stuck up bitch, but his only reaction was rolling his eyes at his phone and simply block whoever was saying nasty things about him. Now it was kinda funny, since the more the season progressed the more people started to like Aquaria, because Dane was sure they wished they didn’t say anything.

But to Dane that wasn’t simple at all. Yes, he could ignore the comments and the message, he could not answer them and simply go on with his life… but from time to time, when he was alone and sad, they would come back to haunt him, to tell him that he wasn’t good enough.

“I suppose I just need some time.”

He simply said. He didn’t want to throw all of his thoughts on Giovanni, it didn’t feel right in the moment. Even then, the younger one squeezed his shoulder for a second.

“Of course. Today be sad, be nervous, be scared - but everything in the end will be alright. If it isn’t, then it’s not the end.”

Those words made Dane chuckle.

“I’m pretty sure that’s a quote from someone very famous.”

Giovanni smiled at him, giving Dane a little pinch on the arm while he started to undress. Dane decided to do the same; the faster he was, the sooner he could get out of there and at least get a good night of sleep to process everything that had happened.

“Well who cares, it’s still true.”

The other girls’ voices were now near the door, and hearing them Dane sped up with the process of de-dragging. He really didn’t want to deal with them, he wasn’t sure on how they would interact with him now - he could already feel the sense of awkwardness taking over him.

To his surprise, Giovanni signed him to slow down a bit. Dane wanted to tell him that he didn’t want to stay in there - but apparently the other one stopped looking at him as soon as the door opened to let the other girls in.

The whole atmosphere was weird; some were talking, others immediately went to their stations to change… and Dusty and Monique glanced over at him, even if Dane faked not seeing them. He knew that it wasn’t the best thing to do, that he should go immediately to them and talk about what happened, but he wasn’t really in the mood.

He was ready to simply change and go to his hotel room after those few moments of silence - awkward enough to make him feel uncomfortable and hope that the ground would swallow him - when Giovanni, who was already wearing his shorts and was in the middle of putting a white tank top on, looked at him with the brightest smile he’d ever seen from him.

“Hey Dane! Have any plans for tonight?”

Dane looked at him completely puzzled for a few seconds, confused. They were talking just a few minutes before, why the sudden question now?

He could feel the eyes of some of the girls on him and his face getting a little hotter when he shook his head. He then cleared his throat, worried his voice might come out shaky and insecure.

“No, I was just thinking of relaxing a bit today.”

Giovanni snorted dramatically, while he fixed his hair, then he slapped Dane’s arm - not even too lightly. More confused than ever, Dane answered with a quiet “ow” more of surprise than pain.

“How old are you, fifty? You’re coming out for drinks with me, and I don’t accept no as an answer.”

It was suddenly clear what he was doing: he wanted everyone to know that he didn’t have a problem with how Dane was, that he accepted him for how he was. The thought made him smile a bit: what kind of universe was it, where Aquaria had Kameron’s back instead of Eureka? Clearly a weird one, at least in anyone’s else eyes, but to him it was just pleasant enough to make him nod energetically.

“As you wish sir. Just let me finish changing and we can go.”

Giovanni smirked, suddenly closer than before, and he placed a soft kiss on Dane’s cheek. He didn’t move, surprised, he didn’t even react in any way even if his heart was instantly beating way faster than before. He couldn’t process the whole thing, because Giovanni was now back where he was before, as fast as possible.

“Good. I’ll wait for you outside, don’t make me wait too much! And don’t worry, they will get over it. I know you’re a good person, you should remember it as well.”

Giovanni’s voice suddenly lowered so much that Dane almost didn’t hear him - but as soon as he realized what he said, a sudden, genuine smile appeared on his lips. His eyes got watery as well while Giovanni just smiled: he probably didn’t realize how much it meant to Dane to hear that right now, when he was feeling the worst trash in the room.

He waved at Giovanni, and once he was alone he realized that maybe things weren’t gonna be that bad if there was someone there the whole time ready to support him.

[firstissue]

So this is just what i’m thinking after just now watching the finale episode leading up to the Ru-union and the Finale... Every year we say this season was boring, this season didn’t have this, didn’t have that... we’re always so unsatisfied with something these last few years. The reason i think this is, is because we’re so used to these girls giving us everything they have, leaving nothing behind that they practically have to die or get injured (eureka) for us to remember them. Or they have to have already had a huge social presence (aquaria), they have to be hot out of drag (kameron) or they have to have some kind of name for themselves in the community with a huge clientele (asia). Not that i’m saying that’s all these queens are, because clearly they are not. they’re all amazing! with that, i think this is the first year in a LONG time that i would genuinely be happy with any one of them winning. Seriously. id be so happy to have any of them win, they’re all so deserving. Aquaria clearly has the track record this season for the win, Eureka has shown so much growth from her stint last season and i am genuinely a fan and would like to see her win and represent the big girls in the winners circle. Asia is a class act, so genuine and sweet, hugely talented with such heart and humility, so willing to help even at her own expense, that’s real sisterhood. And Kameron, my girl since the beginning, the one queen i’ve been following on social media for years who i had no idea was even gonna be on the show until she disappeared off insta from her nightly stories and such, i think she would make an amazing winner showing exactly what she said tonite, that no matter what, even if you falter, you get back up, look sickening and make them eat it. You twirl, kick, shablam and splits your way to the top. really work for it. besides the fact that she’s so stunning. (so what i’m a fan!) i know not everyone is going to agree and the clear fan favorite is aquaria, but still. I can’t wait to see what they have to do at the finale to snatch the crown.

[zamolodchikovunhhhh]

First Impressions: RPDR S11 Queens (SPOILERS)

We have our rumoured RPDR S11 cast---we’ve all heard the spoilers. We all already have our top 4 picked. I just wanted to give my first impressions of all the queens (like i did last season on my main). Spoiler: I was very fucking wrong. Like, hilariously off course. Get hype for more of that. 

This is solely from their Instagrams since they’re not technically “confirmed” or have a meet the queens video yet soooo here we go. Which means some of these queens might very well not be on the show. But it’s okay. Live in the moment.

A’keria Chanel Davenport: She’s gorgeous---she looks biologically related to Kennedy, not even joking. In and out of drag, she is just beautiful and radiant. I don’t know how she’ll do challenge-wise, but I have high hopes for her personality.

Ariel Versace: I don’t know! I’ve watched an Instagram live or two of hers and I find her quite adorable, but---is she fake? That’s the real question, kids. This bitch is gonna start some shit. IDK if I’m here for it or not. We’ll see.

Brooke Lynn Hytes: Canada, yes ma’am! I stan Kameron Michaels and they look almost exactly alike and they’re both in Nashville, so expect me to stan Miss Brooke too. I’m already mildly obsessed. Meant for more? Top 4. 

Honey Davenport: The mother of miss Monet X Change. The queen we all need. Honestly I just get so much personality and so much love from all of these queens this season. I want them all to win. I want Honey Davenport to shake some shit up. Honey Davenport is absolutely glowing.

Kahanna Montrese: Out of drag, Jesus fucking Christ. Maybe the hottest man I’ve ever seen. In drag, this woman looks like the rich bitch who burned down the PTA building for the other kids mistreating her child. I fucking love it and I want her to kick ass. 

Mercedes Iman Diamond: She looks way too cute and sweet to make it past episode 2. Like she’s just a cutie that everyone wants to love and hug and squeeze and she kind of busts under pressure. Poor baby, I want to hug her and give her all the money I have (which is like five bucks but still). 

Nina West: We stan a legend. One of the only queens this season I’d heard of before the rumors started circulating. I’ve always been a fan of her, and this season shouldn’t be any different. 

Plastique Tiara: I don’t get how she’s everyone’s favorite TBH. Sure, she’s Haus of Edwards, which qualifies her as a legend from the get go, but she’s another of those queens that looks like she gets by on looks alone. Then again, I said the same thing about Aquaria last season---oh well. 

Ra’jah O’Hara: This bitch knows how to paint!!! And not just her face, but like actually paint!!! Her artwork skills make me very curious to see how she does in challenges. (Oh, and she can lip sync.)

Scarlet Envy: She’s Pearl’s friend and you can tell. Looks for days. I don’t think she’ll hold up to make it to the finale though. She seems like an early out. You cannot deny she’s stunning though. 

Shuga Cain: Another queen I knew before the rumors!! She did Drag Babies with Bob the Drag Queen and Chi Chi and Peppermint, and---spoiler!---her drag baby won the show. Though she’s another queen just boiling over with personality and a perfect smile, I’m so scared she’s another early out. 

Silky Ganache: My winner. I need a big girl to win RuPaul’s Drag Race, and I’m 100% sure that Silky can do it. Avenge Latrice, (season 5) Roxxxy, and Ginger, baby, because you have what it takes to be America’s Next Drag Superstar. I want her to slay the house down and not apologize. 

Soju: I want her to be good!! I really do!! But I don’t have high hopes, sadly. I follow her on Insta and fall head over heels for all her looks, but I don’t have faith that she can turn it out. 

Vanessa Vanjie Mateo: Yeah, she’s an old thing. I loved Miss Vanjie, and I don’t think she should’ve been booted first last season, but I also don’t think she should be back? The Miss Vanjie fame is gonna get to her head and she’s gonna be a bitch, and guess what, I am not here for it. 

Yvie Oddly: fucking yes! That is all. Her drag is so weird, and no one’s ready for it. I’m not ready for it, but I want to be. Yvie.

TL;DR---I have high hopes for most of this cast. They’re all stunning. 

[expandingcat]

My opinion:

I really love Cracker and I totally understand the bitterness that she felt when she left the show. For those being upset at her for her reaction: I feel like everyone takes time to accept apologies when they’re given. If this was in a week where Cracker was gonna stay and we could see a persistence in her not accepting the apology given then maybe I would be angry at her being sour.

Also note, I really think that Asia standing up for The Vixen was great and honestly Eureka wasn’t reprimanded enough for her actions. The emotion that Asia felt for The Vixen was really real and I wish Ru had more compassion sometimes. Not everyone is as strong as Ru was when she got to where she is and I get that the world is tough but if you can make it even a little bit easier on someone and you have the means for it then why not? Why force them to work on themselves alone where, as Asia put it, they are crying out for help.

The same kind of compassion could’ve applied in the week where they had their inner demons. Why make that week when some clearly struggled and couldn’t handle?

Who do I wanna win? Aquaria or Asia.

Aquaria is the most technically the best, acing the challenges and the runway. I think the idea that she’s such a fan would make it all the cuter for her to win. I would be glad if Asia won as well because like Monet said, she had the most heart. I’m not bitter about the whole Cracker thing because many other people have said that they don’t see other queens as stars when they get asked the infamous question, it’s a valid point that just happened to be a soft spot for Cracker.

Why I don’t want Kameron or Eureka to win?

I liked Eureka in some weeks but in others I haven’t really enjoyed what she’s done, I feel her lacking in the looks, the dresses looking very similar in silhouette and uninspiring. I felt that way about Bianca’s clothing too but because Bianca had such a charm and had the kind of personality that drew you to her I didn’t mind much. Eureka’s personality didn’t really reach out to me.

Similarly Kameron’s personality wasn’t one that I could relate too. Cracker mentioned that it was because she didn’t want the producers to edit her badly but now I don’t know what she’s really like. The other queens said they couldn’t relate to her either and that really hits me as well, that they don’t feel the relation to her either. Kamerons looks at least are better than Eurekas most of the time although I do think that sometimes less is more but hey.

[lonnyrocketreviews-blog]

Rupaul’s Drag Race Season 10 Power Rankings - Ep. 8, (Cher) The Unauthorized Rusical

Fair warning, my brains are still scrambled from last week. This show is going crazy! It’s chaos! It’s so unpredictable! I don’t know what to think anymore. I feel like I just need to...snap out of it!

Actually, with the exception of Kameron winning, I found this episode to be pretty predictable. This episode was pretty much just filler so we could get rid of the Vixen, and we did. Huzzah!

7. The Vixen Ding dong the bitch is dead. This elimination was written on the wall and was only delayed by a week because Monique bombed so hard last week. It didn’t matter what anyone else did this week or who was going up against her because NO ONE survives a 3rd lipsync in a row. Ru seemed like she was itching to get rid of her. Before, I thought there was an outside chance the Vixen could’ve made it to the end, but she couldn’t decide if she wanted to be an evil villain or a whiny victim, and she just came off as volatile and childish. Her rage wasn’t focused, and her drag needs a ton of polish. Obviously, the season’s gonna be a lot more relaxed from here on out. No one’s gonna have to walk on eggshells anymore. There will probably not be any fights going forward, but I’m fine with it. We got enough this season, I think. Thank you Vixen for bringing chaos back to the show and Untucked. We loved to hate you. RIP.

6. Asia O’Hara Asia has been going up and down throughout the season, so it’s hard to know where she stands. After performing pretty poorly 2 weeks in a row, I have no other choice but to put her low. I’m not sure if she’s going home NEXT, but she’s in a really rocky spot right now. Her Beyoncé was bad. Her Cher was bad, and the next challenge is just acting, but she might squeeze through. In the only challenge she won, she got by on silly faces and ugly makeup, not great acting, so I’m a little nervous. After looking back through their track records, I may have overrated Asia a little bit before. Even though she has one win and some great moments throughout the season, she’s the only one who has been consistently low the last couple weeks, which is a bad omen for next week. I’ma be bummed if she goes next, but it’ll pale in comparison to the shock of the Snatch Game episode. Only the Twist will top that.

5. Kameron Michaels I didn’t expect Kameron to ever get a challenge win, but I didn’t expect Aquaria to win Snatch Game either. Next week is acting, which isn’t Kameron’s strong suit, so I refuse to put Kameron any higher despite winning this week. I initially would have put Cracker below Kameron, but Cracks is a good actor and Kameron isn’t (maybe knowing what the next challenge is would be considered cheating for the purposes of writing power rankings but fuck you I do what I want). I actually think the win for this Cher challenge should’ve gone to Cracker and not Kameron. Even though KM has a surprisingly good voice, Cracker was funnier, had harder choreo, and a MUCH better runway look. Kameron’s look was kinda basic. On the other hand, Kameron is finally finally getting some interesting narrative. I actually do kinda like the bitch. She’s thoughtful, reserved, and seems genuinely kind and humble. It’s actually really interesting to see a queen this quiet go this far, and it’s refreshing to have someone there who isn’t such a loudmouth. I feel for Kameron, and I’ve come around on her for the most part since the season began, but I still don’t think she’s gonna go to the end.

4. Miz Cracker Cracker always gets so close, but never quite nabs the win. I don’t really agree at all with the judges’ negative critiques about her this week. Breanna slayed. There’s always next week! It’s weird how Cracker and Aquaria have had this role reversal since episode 1. I think when the season began, most people were gunning for Cracker over Aquaria, but now it seems like Aquawoman is a true fan favorite and Cracker is getting kinda written out. Shit’s nutty. I’m still crossing my fingers for my girl. I think she deserves top 4, but maybe not top 3. She hasn’t won a challenge and is rarely in the top, even in comedy challenges. I dunno. It’s unfortunate but I don’t see her winning after all.

3. Monet X Change Another strong week for Monet! Cool. There’s still a few episodes left and no stupid Twist yet, so I GUESS something crazy could happen, but if things go as they should, she’ll likely be in the top 3 next to Aquaria and Eureka. I think that’s a pretty nice looking top 3. It would have been more interesting to have seen Monique up there instead, but I’ll take what I can get. The top 3 should be diverse but strong all around, and I think Monet has that......well except for her looks. Monet X Change has to have the absolute worst looks out of everyone this season. Her outfit this week was REAL bad, but her Cher was real good, and she’ll probably be fine next week.

2. Aquaria Can someone actually explain to me what Aquaria did to her eyes? That shit was incredible. THAT’S commitment. In the looks department, I’d put Aquaria up into the highest echelons next to Raja and Violet Chachki, the most fashionable queens of all. I’ve never seen a queen with such an artistic eye before. It blows my mind. She may have been “low” this week, but she made it through this, one of the harder challenges, and I can’t envision any possible ending that doesn’t have her in the top 3. You know she’s gonna murder the finale looks, too.

Check out this video. Things like this look are why she’s a frontrunner: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WESAj_lQHPs

1. Eureka That dress made me scream. It was EPIC. This’ll probably be the closest she comes to the bottom for the rest of the season. It really doesn’t matter what Eureka does from here on out. Even when she stumbles, she still gets more and more backstory. Every thing not to like about Eureka comes with a good story behind it. I dunno if she’s polarizing or not; most people I’ve talked to have said she’s among their favorites, or they at least recognize she’s going to the end. It’s obvious. I don’t have much else to say about her. I’m just gushing over that  fucking gown.

Some other misc. notes: - Black queens are gonna get judged more harshly in a Cher challenge. - No one did that great (at least in the judges’ eyes) so Kameron won by default. - Assigned roles are bullshit. Asia shoulda gotten to pick who did what since she won the mini challenge.

If the Twist isn’t next episode, I’ma be EXTREMELY nervous beyond that. I know some stupid bullshit fuckery is on the horizon. I feel it in my bones. I think the only one -truly- safe no matter what happens is Eureka. What I fear most is a stupid lipsync tournament. Shea Coulee and Trinity Taylor were robbed. I want this to be a good, fair battle between the top THREE queens. Season 9 had a top 4 finale. That’s a THIRD of the contestants in the finale. Shit’s stupid. Narrow it down so I can really gun for one of em.

[norment]

THOUGHTS ON S10 EP4

Y'all this episode GAGGED ME

Still sad Yuhua is gone but she gonna werk that puss henny

Ps all of Moniques line is iconic and her quoting the Bible? Y'all I love her

Season 10 is truly that bitch having mini challenge every episode yas

Mini challenge

I liked Miz Cracker but I'm not mad Aquaria winning

I THOUGHT RU WAS JOKING ABOUT THE SWITCHARU AND GOT ME ALL MESSED UP

I honestly thought there's something wrong with the link I'm watching or production but lmao then I realise

Bitch drag race look hard as shit

I'm bumped that Aquaria didn't read the whole part of the Sugar Daddy™ by our Halello saviour Shangela but at first I'm like so what she have a sugar daddy then Aquaria said she work her ass off and get her own money like damn I didn't thought of that at all tho but you go Aquaria

But I'm definitely Miz Cracker and anyone out there wanna pay me money for anything HIT ME UP FAM

Bitch that part where Monet said The British got their accent from American and Asia and Monique straight away ready to fight Monet just when she wore the sponge dress is killing me but hella love their relationship

MISS VANJIE LIVES ON HENNYSSS

Runway

Also the moment Ru came in to the runway Valentina"take that thing off your face" moment just starts playingg

WTF EVERYONE LOOK SO GOOD YO TFFFFF SEASON 10 REALLY IS THAT BITCH

Like I couldn't even tell who's gonna be in the bottom

But the queen's that rock every category (for me):

Aquaria

Kameron

Miz Cracker

Monique

But I love love the

Mayhem's Mars runway

Vixen Alaskan Princess

Dusty Miami Beach

Also the part where Asia said she helped everyone and everyone on stage backed her up y'all this is too much for my wig

I'm honestly still not sure which category is which but Halello

Aquaria deserved it and eventhough I'm sad Miz didn't win but Aquaria truly deserved that win

PS STOP SLEEPING ON KAMERON DID YALL SAW HOW SHE SERVED IT UP?? YAS QWEEN

Untucked:

Earlier in the episode Monique said she's tired of being safe and in untucked she knows she did well and she's just gonna try harder and realise on her on? We Stan a legend

However i really understand like look at all the outfit created by them don't you atleast wanna get some comments from Ru or the Judges

Vixen handed Eureka on a silver platter and Eureka being like"i JuSt WaNtEd tO tEsT hEr" seems meh but hey both of them have opinions and this is all just my thoughts

however when Eureka saying about Vixen judging her without even knowing her in season 9 is also quite a big issue thats supposed to be tackled mostly because what you see isn't always the truth like TV can be edited and filtered but these queen still have opinions and emotions so stop judging her

Plus as you can see drag race itself is already sttessful stop sending queen's threat or hate

The Mix and Monet moment y'all I love my winners

Also that little Aquaria and Dusty part and proving my point that Aquaria is not a bitch that everyone makes of her it's all just a show

Kinda wish this untucked was longer tho

Lipsync

BITCH THEY FUCKING TURNT IT OUT

CMON S10 SERVING US LIPSYNC FOR OUR LIFE

Also when Monet wore the mask i kept remembering the Valentina accident yall

BUT THEY TURNT IT OUT

I WAS SNATCHED GAGGED AND KILLED

Also this gives me flashbacks to April Carrion Vs Trinity K Bonet because they both ended with Ru saying that's how you lipsync

Honestly thought there was gonna be a double shantay tho

SHOUT OUT TO @emptycinema FOR PROVIDING FULL EPISODE AND UNTUCKED!!BLESS YA HEART!!!

Can't wait for the next episode!!!!

please note this is all my opinion and no hate is aimed or targeted to the queen's

You can stop reading by now but it's just my own theory *so take it with a pinch of salt*

Most of the spoilers said Kalorie was first to go and Dusty to go second but Kalorie went second and Dusty went fourth so it means most of the spoilers are wrong and for me to avoid these spoilers when the episode comes out whew a struggle

Also i love Kameron but everytime she talks about the episode she always say keep watching to see until when I stay or I stayed another week can I survive another it kinda is like him saying am I gonna make it to next week but also saying of double meaning herword that saying she won't make it to teh finals or leaving soon???

I'm sad because y'all she is serving and I'm ready to see how far she goes

This is just my opinion/theory so take it with a pinch of salt and if you wanna share with me theories I'm happily answer but I hate spoilers so please keep them awayyyy

Thanks for readin

[yatoldherontheinternetitwas-blog]

Ranking of Drag Race finales

13. S6 

While this season is generally fantastic, predictable winner fatigue sets in around the Chad Bono episode and after that everything feels slightly unnecessary. Drag Race really could have just crowned Bianca at the end of the previous episode and saved us from having to sit through this slog.  

12. AS3 

Imdb viewers rated this as the all-time worst episode of Drag Race, a title that I think is unfair, if understandable. To see Shangela screwed over so clearly is painful, as is the terrible final lipsync and the jury process as a whole, but the first half of the episode is a fun affair. The Kitty Girl performance in particular is really fun, but overall this episode is a clear net loss to the season and possibly even the franchise. 

 11. S5 

This is similar to S6 in that it is largely uninteresting but I believe three things marginally save it. 

1. The winner is less predictable. Jinkx may have the best track record but a strong case could also be made for Alaska (or, honestly Roxxxy but there is no way she’d be crowned) 

2. The reaction and dicussion around a villain is interesting to me, so Roxxxy’s sheer presence adds intrigue. 

3. This LOOK above from Detox. Overall though, it is definitely not one for a rewatch.

10. S3 

While S3 is my favourite season of RPDR, the finale is fairly painful. This is largely related to the reason 3 is such a good season and that’s the length of the season. This makes the season a great fun to watch for a drag race superfan who can’t get enough but for the queens it is clearly exhausting. So, seeing Alexis & Manila lose out is feels unfair, even though Raja also deserves it, because they’ve fought so hard. 

Champion is not a good song either, which certainly does not help matters since it is played ALL EPISODE LONG. 

9. S8 

Another season with a predictable winner, but a much more entertaining finale than 6, due to the performances. Bob is predictably fantastic & Naomi & Kim are aided by infectious bops. Plus, the most rightful winner of Miss Congeniality, Cynthia Lee Fontaine won in this finale which is a net plus. 

8. AS1 

While AS1 is in mine and many people’s opinions the worst drag race season, I actually kind of enjoyed their assignments this episode. Raven’s finale look is beautiful and imo, the rightful winner was crowned. Nothing to really complain about, even if I would have put Shannel in the Top 2, but that’s more about my deep love for Shannel than anything else. 

7. S1 

The fact that Rebecca turned up to the finale in a recycled outfit that was basic to begin with will forever be iconic. Other than that, a really fun rap challenge, with Bebe unleashing her Jungle Kitty talents almost 10 years before AS3, and stunning looks from Bebe & Nina. 

6. S7 

After a couple of dud season finales S7 made them fun again. The Ben/Michelle gag was great, the Katya win fakeout was ridiculous and the Top 3 performances were good, if not great. While I might prefer good ol’ Minj Ginj, Violet was a satisfying winner which is always nice, not saying any names, AS3. 

5. S4 

While it does follow the same format as the two seasons following, mostly due to Sharon & Willam, we get a fabulous finale. Sharon is fantastic with the crowd and gets smart jokes in throughout and Willam is on fire, mostly when confronting the publicly reviled Phi Phi O’Hara. 

4. S10 

A mess, but a glorious mess. The fact that the S10 girls had the thought process of “How do I top Sasha Velour?” and reached the conclusion of butterfly breasts and Russian nesting dolls of reveals is hilarious to me. Aquaria correctly wins which is another boost for the series when for the last few seasons they have faced some criticism for ‘wrongful’ winners. 

3. S2 

Not a second is wasted in this finale. The slapping challenge with Ru is very fun and all the girls look beautiful. Whether you are someone who loves Tyra or Raven there is something for you here. 

If you love Tyra you see her rightfully win the crown and dance her ass off in a fantastic lipsync. 

If you love Raven, you get to see her absolutely savage ‘keep looking to the stars, you’ll never be one’ message to Tyra and you’ll feel ok again. 

2. AS2 

The editors of Drag Race were fully in their glory days during AS2 and the suspense offered in this episode is proof of that. Realistically everyone knows that Alaska is gonna win the season, but the eleventh hour turn of interest towards Detox & Katya in both this and the previous episode is weirdly convincing. Add to this fantastic runway looks & an incredibly rewatchable performance, and you’ve got a winning (well of 2nd place, condragulations Raven!) episode. 

1. S9 

Insane. This episode sets my world on fire. Interestingly, I am not necessarily crazy about Peppermint or Sasha but to see them both, and especially Ms Velour, turn it the fuck out is pretty fantastic. Shea & Trinity going home in 3rd/4th could feel unsatisfying, but the performances put out by the other two flips this assumption around. Unmissable TV.

[katymylady]

not to name anyone in particular but the kind of people who are caught having a not so graceful reaction to aquaria's win and are quick to jump on twitter to remind everyone that aquaria is their sister and they've always been rooting for her, like always. you know what i think you know i mean cracker by now and honestly i hope she proves me wrong today since they are gonna be performing at the same place but i'm starting to think she won't. we won't get genuine support out of her

I think it’s tomorrow right? But you may be in a different time zone.

I’m hoping they make a joke out of it like they did with “too vague”

I’m confused what you think Cracker was supposed to do? Say nothing and have people hate her? or say something, show support, and still have people hate her?

If she posted nothing she’d get just as much, if not more, hate.

But it’s been some days now so I think we can all just let it go.

There’s even a song for it.

[artificialqueens]

learning to be silent (multi) — chapter two - Roza

[ summary ] : the grand prix qualifications are building splendidly even if it means a self discovery for some and nothing but piling towers of stress despite that, new bonds seem to happen every day when you're a professional figure skater.

[ author's note ] : this au has been a real fun one to write, as always, I enjoy introducing new characters when I can, next chapter will probably (definitely lmao) be huge since it'll be the short program and all that jazz, hope y'all enjoy xx — lily.

AO3 / My Tumblr / (◍•ᴗ•◍)✧*。

— ✧*。

Alaska hadn't intended to spend her last day in the states for a week helping Trinity and Detox pack for France, though it was an excuse to ignore everything that was building up on her plate for Moscow, they all had reserved their own row on the plane to Paris, now it was just a matter of time and driving before they would be supporting their teammates in their journeys to the Grand Prix, stacking their points. Every step was one more day closer to Olympic qualifications in January.

"Jesus, how many suitcases do we need? We're only there for a week and not even skating at the event!" Trinity called out as she scrambled through Detox's closet, wearing her oversized jacket from Skate America, Alaska sitting on her best friend's bed, spread out and staring at her phone, unable to breathe at the moment, everything was beginning to crumble and she promised Sharon to not tell anyone but it was reaching a breaking point.

"Just get one big one and we'll have two bags, Alaska is coming to don't forget we have three people in the equation!" Detox yelled back before stepping into the room with an unopened bottle of sparkling wine, Trinity clapping at the sight of alcohol as she skipped over to her girlfriend who brushed their lips together, her hands brushing through her blonde hair though she pulled away cackling hearing Alaska's blantant sickness noises, wanting to throw up at the sight of her best friend since she started skating and Trinity trying to get it down in front of her.

Detox fixed her hair and huffed, blowing the small strands out of her face before she handed the bottle to Alaska who was an aficionado at opening caps with her long acrylics, "To Aquaria, Shea and Adore! Let's hope the best for all of them." She toasted simply, Trinity nodding, "I'll drink to that, Grand Prix here our girls come! Olympics ain't ready honey." The Floridian raised the bottle once Alaska got it to pop open with a small flick of her nails.

Rotating the bottle around one by one, Alaska took a long and hard swig, causing Detox to widen her eyes and take away the bottle, the older skater groaned. "Oh c'mon you're not my fucking mom." She snagged it once more before finally putting it down in front of Trinity who adjusted the sleeves of Detox's jacket.

"What's wrong? I know you too damn well, fess up." Detox's tone one of concern as well as aggression, she could tell when Alaska was in her tantrum stages. Trinity sat uncomfortably, not knowing if she should be involved in the conversation invade it took an extremely personal turn.

"Nothing, I'm fine, just had a bit of a fight today with Sharon is all."

Trinity moved towards the door, knowing that Detox and Alaska had their own code of when they wanted to be alone. "I'm gonna go and get some food, I'll leave y'all be." The skater shut the door gently even at the dismay of Detox who's eyes focused on Alaska whose eyelids drooped after putting the half empty bottle on Detox's cabinet shelf right near her bed.

"What the hell happened?"

"Girl, we're packing, let's not do this now, please." The affirmative tone in her voice telling Detox to back off and focus on what she was currently doing, though Alaska's head was definitely elsewhere, a minute later as they folded up another dress the blonde finally broke down in tears, at first letting the sniffling come and playing it off as allergies or some bullshit like that.

"I'm retiring, I'm fucking retiring at the end of this season, I can't take all the stress and pain any longer and seeing Aquaria and all the new seniors do so good out a real fucking gap in my confidence, I give up!"

"Alaska..."

"No! Don't fucking tell me I'm overreacting and don't tell me that's how the skating world is now, I know that and I can't take it anymore."

Detox dropped her skates on her bed before sighing aloud, knowing there was no use in even attempting to knock sense into or out of Alaska during her breakdowns, she just needed support: not as if the decision was something people liked to hear, to make.

Opening her arms Alaska looked up and immediately jumped into them, Detox tightening the grip around her shoulders, patting her back as she sobbed all over her jacket with no remorse, she could always wash it later. Fighting back tears she spoke up, not ever wanting to hear the fact Alaska, her best friend since they started skating, was retiring: "Are you really sure, I'm not gonna push it but are you atleast gonna try for your last Olympics?"

Alaska took home bronze in her first Olympics, a truly incredible feat, she proved to everyone even back then that as long as you had passion, drive, charisma and raw talent you could win a medal no matter if you were skating to Vivaldi or Bon Jovi, which she did.

"Of course I am you shady bitch, gotta knock you off somehow."

Detox couldn't help but completely lose it on her lap, slapping her on the stomach before letting her head rest, "What am I gonna possibly even do without you? Truthfully, who else will drink three entire bottles of Gatorade and almost piss on the ice—" Alaska yelled, her cheeks becoming hot remembering the indescribable amount of embarrassment she felt during her warm up skate of World's back in 2017.

"What does Sharon think?"

It shouldn't have made Alaska's lips twist when her name was mentioned, she knew it was coming since Sharon was her coach and her worst kept secret after all. A muscle in her jaw seemed to twitch as she spoke, "She wasn't very happy to say the least but my career, promised her I'd of course try for the Olympics."

* * *

"I'm retiring."

Alaska whispered the words she honestly hoped would never have to come out of her own mouth, when she was still young, not as young as the rest but she still had a good amount of years left for herself.

Her tears falling down her cheeks one after another, trying to speak but not letting any words come out before Sharon's fingertips brushed her eyes, wiping them in utter confusion, "What do you— what do you mean you're retiring?" Lifting her face with her hands, being sure to make direct eye contact with the blonde who was in the middle of either a mental breakthrough or breakdown.

"I can't do this anymore, I can't compete with all the new seniors, I'm reaching my breaking point and you being my coach has been both the greatest and worst experience I've had in this sport."

She didn't respond, a bit offended by the poor choice of words however. "Worst? Fucking jesus, I know I retired earlier than expected but I wanted to coach, especially since Aquaria was getting older, I wanted to care for her and look out for you!" She snarled out of anger, a flush creeping out on her face once she noticed Alaska so generously hanging onto her every word by a thread.

"Sharon, I'm just losing touch and I know you're supposed to be my coach. I know you're hard on me because it's your job and because we've been together since we were teenagers but anytime you and I sit in that kiss and cry and you stare at me blankly, your eyes look so disappointed and want to scream!"

"I'm never, ever disappointed in you."

Alaska winced at the unexpected rough diction in Sharon's voice, she never looked so terrifying and serious in her entire life. Granted she had known the blonde for only god knows how long and had seen every little piece of the puzzle to her, expecting all the unexpected.

"I love you Sharon, I love you dammit and I thought about it for weeks, this isn't a personal vendetta, you know how this sport pays my bills and keeps me alive but I want to retire and just help you with the girls and finally settle down with you like I always wanted."

Sharon's face contorted, unable to express whether she was honored that Alaska was for once, being so serious about their relationship, whatever that was— or, completely saddened by her will to just throw away her entire life and success to just be another coach, she had so much untapped potential even if she was a bit older than the average girl's nowadays.

"You're so talented and have so much to give, you're not even the oldest American competiting, remember how Chad retired when he was 39? I mean, he wasn't even pushing it either." It was true that she skated a while, still even did tours time to time, she had completely pioneered the skating world as did her students which of course, had Sharon in the line up.

"I just don't want you to do this purely for me or because you're feeling stressed, because that's the reality of the sport." She took Alaska's hand in her own, squeezing firmly as her words left with baited breath, "I will never force you to keep skating but as your coach, I'd be so fucking upset if you did."

Her lips pressed a kiss to Alaska's ring finger, "I'll always be here and be ready, skating won't." A hand crept to Sharon's cheek as the younger blonde smiled gently, feeling a genuine stir in her emotions, her heart beating twice as fast whenever Sharon kissed her.

"I know but, I think it's my time to be able to relax after all these years, I can always be an annoying commentator." She grinned, lightening the mood as her ears heard Sharon whisper a faint, "I love you." under her breath before laughing at her out of time response, pressing their lips together and caressing her face.

"If you promise to be at the Olympics, I can maybe say aloud that I'll handle this better."

"Of course I'm gonna try to qualify dumb bitch! You really think I'd just give up after finally getting allowed to do an Arrowsmith song for my routine? In an all black and grey costume? I promise you I'm gonna kill that shit."

* * *

"So, if I may add an interlude..." Her words spiraling back to her usual extended holds, "What's the deal with you and Miss Taylor, I know clearly you guys are comfortable outside of the rink but, is it actually official?"

Detox pondered her words a bit, not exactly knowing how to respond.

Her and Trinity in the rink had always been buddy-buddy with eachother starting three years ago, Trinity had trained with Agnes (who they all called Peppermint since their junior skating years) a while before making the move into Sharon and Chad's training camps, she fit in almost instantaneously and caught the attention of Detox as fast as she did Chad who saw endless supply of potential when it came to her style of skating.

Alaska coughed obnxiously, signaling she overthinking far too much. But what was she really supposed to say especially with Alaska, who she adored with her entire soul and heart and always would, who everyone knew was just about the biggest tease and the quickest to break secrets when simply asked, you didn't even have to coddle her for them.

"She's very beautiful and talented, has a great personality and we're just both seeing where we're going, we kiss here and there but mostly it's just in an awkwardly endearing phase, we don't know exactly what we want either."

"So basically you're finally into a girl and just checking out from fear and delusion that she doesn't like you back even though all she does is steal your jackets and excitedly smile whenever you come into the room. Match made in heaven if you ask me."

They toyed with eachother's hair and hands before Detox threw a pillow at her face, "C'mon, we have to be at the airport tomorrow and if you don't wake up I'm just gonna leave without your sorry ass."

*.✧

"We're here!" Yelled Adore in the back of the large car, her legs sparwled onto Bianca's lap, the coach dazing in and out of sleep having been wide awake during the plane ride there, she had never been so sober in her entire damn life even when she was still a competitive skater.

"We are and thank god for that, I was about to fall asleep in this fucking rental." Bianca spoke up with genuine honesty, a yawn leaving her lips before she stepped out the car, reaching out her hands so that Adore could easily jump from the car.

"Hallelujah for that." Bob grumbled under her breath before taking her carry on from the back of the van as Shea wondered off into the hotel, that was conveniently placed beside the convention center and arena where they would skate and then have their Gala afterwards, the best part besides winning gold and racking up points for the Grand Prix.

Shea hadn't had a clue of what time it exactly was, far too lazy to even pick her phone from her pocket as she stumbled through the doorway and took in the sight: being in Europe wasn't new, she had traveled many times for competitions but she had yet to truly be in France for a Grand Prix assignment, the years she had been a senior she either was in China, Japan or Canada— it would be her first time truly getting some time, even if her focus was to win a medal, to beat her fellow competitors, she never turned down a good few hours of walking through a new city, buying overly expensive touristy souvenirs and she always promised herself to buy some kind of local chocolate, she could restrain herself pretty well for diets and competition days but otherwise she definitely wasn't one to turn down a bar of chocolate.

Hearing the usual cooperation banter didn't phase her much, she knew people had a job to do but a familiar face caught her eye almost immediately, that distinct face shape and sweet smile. Thick blonde curls hiding her steel blue-grey eyes, sported of course in the Russian national team jacket, this had to be Sasha.

The Sasha Velour.

Her heart was racing at a million miles an hour, all the affirmative respect and distinguishing of titles made it seem like she was old when she was indeed a year younger than Shea in the first place, it was more meant as a title with sentimental value. She was beautiful as always and had a great reputation to uphold and did so with honesty and a tolerant mindset, two things the Russian figure skating association was exactly known for, despite how dirty of a sterotype that sounded.

The American waited patiently as she seemed to be sorting some issues with her keycard, requesting she be given another one. The conversation tuned out in Shea's mind until she felt a brushing and gentle hand against her shoulders and a wide smile from Sasha, the touch making the girl jump, completely frazzled. "Oh I'm so sorry!" She whimpered, unknowingly holding her hands to make sure they weren't shaking, "I'm so sorry."

"Oh c'mon it's okay girl." She immediately bit her tongue, this wasn't Adore or Trinity whom she was causal with, she had nothing but respect for Sasha and felt nothing but maddening anxiety in their one minute interaction, of course they had seen eachother before when competiting but not as if they had time to converse during or after the matter. "I mean Sasha, shit, I'm so sorry."

"Why are you apologizing? I'm perfectly fine with what you said, I know I'm supposed to be a bit more rough and tough since I'm Russian and all but, I promise you I'm not as bad as everyone else." A subtle wink leaving the corner of her eyelids as she placed a hand on her hip, "It's really wonderful to finally meet you."

Shea didn't want to say she had completely felt her face get hot, red and her entire body froze when she spoke to her but that was exactly what was happening and it was driving her insane, she practically kicked herself for being such a fool. "It's so great to meet you to! You're so talented and so gorgeous and I've never felt more pressure to skate beside someone."

"Please, you are far too sweet for your own good."

A smile lit up her face as Sasha chuckled in response to her growing confidence, "What are you smiling for? It's completely true, I saw your routine at the American national's and almost had a nervous breakdown knowing I have to compete against you and your friend, Aquaria, it is an honor to meet Sharon's daughter? I believe she is..." The sentence trailing before Shea shook her head before also nodding the more she thought about it, "Well she is but not by birth."

"And that's okay, family isn't always blood, it's about the people you choose in your life to be a part of you."

That was either extraordinary deep or Shea was far too smitten with finally speaking with her skating crush of years, this was the moment she had been craving.

"You are absolutely correct, have you met any of the other girls yet? I can always introduce you to my squad of course." Sasha clapped her hands together, slinging a backpack over her back that was a light baby blue, most likely where she housed her skates. "I would love to but I'm going to go and get some private time, come with me!" She mumbled under her breath as they held eachother's wrists.

Shea instantly nodded, not even thinking of the girls, "If you're okay with it." Sasha rolled her eyes, texting someone quickly on her phone before sliding it into the back pocket of her leggings, "Of course I am, my coach doesn't define my life, I already told her I'm gonna be going out to find a rink anyway so, Shea Couleé..." The name rolled right off her tongue in a way that made the older girl completely melt into her hands as she interlocked elbows, "Let's go!"

It would seem odd for two girls of rival countries to just wonder off in the time of sunset, going to the definitely empty ice rink nearby the arena, together as if they were teammates and didn't just formally introduce themselves.

They had barely wandered out of the building when Adore recieved a text telling her to not snitch if Bob asked where she was, explaining best she could in the time she had allotted trying to walk and talk with Sasha that she was going to go and skate, she had taken her bag with her anyway. Shea telling Sasha she needed a quick minute to tell her friend where she would be at.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Adore Delano 🍕

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀—

Don't snitch on me bitch, I'm going off somewhere near the hotel, I really wanna practice.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Do you actually or is someone catching your attention? 👀

If I said it was Sasha Velour would it make you back off lol

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Sasha?! The fucking russian girl who's won literally every damn 🏅???

Yup and she's way prettier in person...

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Oh Jesus, I won't snitch tho! I'm a good friend like that bitch <3

—

"You coming?" Sasha's irresistible smile spearing her straight into the heart. Not as if she would say no to her newfound friend and fellow skater, how could she ever even refuse the chance to spend some alone time with the Sasha Velour, her curls bouncing off her face.

"Absolutely."

*.✧

Sharon wasn't sure what to expect when warm-up training had begun taking shape the day before their first day, the short program for ladies beginning tomorrow though they did have a chance to cheer for the American ice dancers who were performing their short program's yesterday, happy to see that they still had it: scoring a silver medal and having two more teams in the top five.

After the medal ceremony, Aquaria decided to stay with Shea in their hotel room, taking the night off in the comfort of their bed's and the giant flat screen, ordering whatever food they wanted and could find off the hotel service menu.

"Aquaria, you're under rotating that quad again, you know how harsh they're going to be on you now, look at these mistakes and fix them." The words leaving her lips gently, fixing her hair as Aquaria took it all in with a nod, adjusting her jacket's zipper before she hummed, skating off. It was difficult to process all the cameras, she had been photographed and interviewed of course but most people focused on the senior level, it wasn't as if junior competitions were sold out and had photographers everywhere, this was going to be an entire different environment even if she grew up with media in her face already.

"Well, well!" A voice spoke from her behind her, Sharon's entire body running completely cold. It didn't matter what her profession was or how old she was, she could recognize certain voices anywhere she went, she turned on her sneakers, not feeling a need to wear heel's in a damn ice rink.

"Of course it's you..." She grumbled knowing that the utter disappointment in her voice was completely visible though she played on with a fake smile, giving a quaint and polite handshake and kiss of the cheek to Phi Phi, who looked fantastic, the fake tanning did her horrible and Sharon was beyond happy she had stopped a few years ago, and seemed to be comfortably warm in her large knitted white sweater.

"How are you?" She asked, her hands in her pockets, acting sweet for the camera's, it wasn't right to fight like cats and dogs when there was media and their skaters were just attempting to focus. Besides, what had happened when they were competitors was simply past them at this point atleast to Sharon who almost never lost a single medal to Phi Phi, there was definitely some resentment from the latter.

They hadn't always fought, in fact they had gotten along splendidly when they first met at World Championship's almost twelve years ago, neither of them medaled though Sharon had come close with her fourth place accomplishment but it was difficult to compete when Bianca, Morgan and Jinkx were still knocking everyone out of place, seasoned skaters already.

Phi Phi had been her training partner when she decided to stay a year with their old coach, she represented Philippines, which she explained was a huge deal to her, being the first women and the second to ever skate for the southeast asian country. Her temperament was always an issue with her, coach having to repeat stuff and talk over her yelling, that would also be projected into Sharon when she lashed out, claiming she only scored higher on her components because she had the ideal skater body and aesthetic attributed to the sport.

"Oh I'm wonderful, just here to see how my skater does, the usual." It wasn't much until the words faded and she had to ask about Aquaria, Sharon's eyes glimmering with absolute love towards her adopted daughter, "She's fantastic, has a quad and everything, they're definitely way more expecting of them compared to us even Alaska complains with all the new elements they keep adding, I think we retired at a good space." She joked though Phi Phi didn't laugh, she only nodded.

"And Alaska? She still with her boyfriend? I know she's skating with you now, wonder if you still liked her after all these years."

Sharon wanted to shoot herself for even bringing her up, she knew it would immediately cause tension in her body and make her confess more than she wanted: honesty was the best policy even if it was a bitch and it had to be said in front of one of the people she disliked most.

"She's not, she lives with me now."

The pursed expression across Phi Phi's lips was enough to signal she already knew the answer, she just wanted to hear it said aloud. "I had a feeling you two would always end up together, I mean for god's sakes, as if that wasn't fucking obvious." Her fingertips brushed her sweater under her pants, adjusting the laces of her shoes, "She's getting older to, she's only a few years younger, this her last season you think?"

"Phi Phi, Stop."

"Sharon please, I'm asking simple questions, you getting defensive about your girlfriend isn't going to help either of us at this qualification."

Her body swayed, their eye contact setting flames ablaze again in old rivarly, it had been years since they last physically saw eachother, every other time they stayed away or kept it formal and only found out news from Social Media, as most did.

"Just cause you're training your daughter—" her fingers putting air quotes around the word which only made Sharon want to absolutely break her knee with a piece of metal, Harding style. "Doesn't mean she's any good at a senior level or as good as her coach, she's now with competition unlike before, she has a lot to learn like they all do."

"I know that, she's been training hard and I believe in her, of course she has competition, it wouldn't be a Grand Prix if she didn't."

"Well, we will see how she does, I hope she has a good experience though!" The doubt of Aquaria winning shining in her reply, the snicker hidden deep in her throat waiting to come out lodging before she gently coughed and adjusted her posture, "Good luck, genuinely."

"Good luck to you to."

Can't wait to see the look on your face when Aquaria fucking pummels your skaters score into the ground.

[therealdragu-blog]

TheRealDragU Episode 1, Part 1: The New Students

(This is a fanfiction show about every queen from RuPaul’s Drag Race going to college and getting into fights/struggles/romance/mischief/mysteries, all with some laughs along the way. Enjoy!)

-----

It was a cool summer day in central California, with animals bright as the sun, for once a more quieter city, especially for Cali, and most importantly little traffic, good for one bus of queens.

The front row of the bus had a gloating Aquaria, talking to one of her friends on the phone about her successes after winning, while Miz Cracker right next to her sat looking in the other direction, arms crossed, and probably streaks of steam coming from her head as she’s forced to hear her half-friends talks of money, jewelry, fame and worship. The next seat had the team of Monique Heart and Dusty Ray Bottoms facing each other with quiet whispers of the other girls.

Dusty then asked Monique “Girl, have you seen this part of San Francisco before? I don’t recognize it.” Monique replied “Nope, doesn’t look anything like I’ve seen. All I was told was that we’re all going to a special gig.” Which gave Dusty a confused face into the distance. She looked at Monique again and said “Do you know what the name of the place is?” Monique just nervously shrugged after a wide-eyed look to Dusty. “Do you see something purple outside?” Dusty looked back and said “No.....I’m seeing red.” They both looked out in wonder.

The seat behind them had Yuhua Hamasaki, in a very deep sleep with half of her body on the floor and the other half on the actual seat, and for some reason a 1st grader’s book plastered over her face in the middle pages. Sitting poised next to her, Blair St. Clair, was cross-legged with a small coinpurse in both hands, and staring wide-eyed at Yuhua’s pose and loud snoring.

Next to them was Asia O’Hara and Vanessa “Miss Vanjie” Mateo. Vanjie couldn’t help but notice Asia’s lack of a smile for the entire bus ride, presumably due to her failed butterfly stunt during...that performance. She decided to try to cheer her up by saying “Miss Vanjie?”. Asia only shifted her eyes at her with a dead glare for a few seconds until staring at the floor again. Vanjie reached for her hand as Asia shed a single tear.

Behind them was Monet X Change and Mayhem Miller, both questioning the too long ride like Monique and Dusty. Monet saw Mayhem’s raised eyebrow and said “May-may, don’t you live in California? How come the road’s turning as baron as the fun in this bus right now?” Mayhem responded “This is strange, there’s always buildings in this city, never cacti and sand. I’m sorry, am I seeing pink smoke?” Monet leaned in overlapping Mayhem into the window. “No, I’m seeing orange dust. It’s probably just some erosion.” Granted Monet was skeptical in saying that.

In the back was The Vixen and Kameron Michaels, with Kameron peacefully listening to some light synth-pop on her with her earphones in closed eyes, while Vixen on the window end looking over at the opposite seat in deadlock - Eureka O’Hara looking at her with just as ferocious eyes, while Kalorie Karbdashian Williams in between them shifted her eyes back and forth in worry. She whispered to Eureka “Are you two gonna let this go? It’s been a year.” Eureka whispered back “I’ll let it go when she apologizes” Vixen heard and whispered “When you apologize” Eureka moved her finger across her throat, while Vixen cracked both her gold-covered knuckles. Kalorie wanted to absorb herself into the seat to avoid a possible quarrel, but she couldn’t help but notice the stream of blue and yellow smoke coming from the outside.

Suddenly, when Aquaria stopped talking to her friend, she noticed outside the window “Holy shit, I think it’s snowing!” Cracker looked at Aquaria in a face of disgust and ridiculousness, which quickly turned into bewilderment as soon as she saw over the window. Monet walked over to their seat and said “Snowing?! In California?! My ass!” She scooched over Cracker to look at the window next to Aquaria. Dusty grew concerned and tapped on the seat of the busdriver. “Excuse me. Where in the fuck are you taking us? We’ve been here for 6 hours!” With no reply after a minute, Monique chimed in with her “Hello?! Do you know how Google Maps works?” Dusty kicked the bus driver seat “HEY!” She finally decided to look over and soon Monique noticed a look of panic in Dusty’s face, as if she’d seen a ghost.

“There’s no one in the fucking seat....” Monique looked over the seat to see an empty driver’s chair and let out a frightening shriek. Vanjie overheard all of this and said, “Are you bitches smokin’ som...” she said until she too noticed the baron seat and almost fainted onto the floor if in wasn’t for the passenger seats she grabbed onto.

Soon everyone on the bus was in shock and terror, with Blair yelling “We’re all gonna crash and die!” She tried to open the bus window but couldn’t manage due to her hands shaking furiously. Cracker pulled her back and said “Are you stupid?! The bus is at 100 miles per hour! What’s happening!” A pink pixel hue over the windshield started forming, which caught Vixen’s eye first. She screams “Look over there! Mayhem, isn’t that the pink you saw?” She replied “Oh my god, it is! Is.... is this Ru or something?” Suddenly, RuPaul herself appeared on the windshield, and all queens froze in a mixture of shock, confusion and somehow relief for some of them.

The holographic Ru calmly told them ���Don’t you worry kitty girls, all will be well and good when you get to the college. Be sure you packed everything, you’ll be here a while!” followed by an ecstatic laugh. Everyone looked at each other without a word. Yuhua suddenly woke up and took the book off of her face, and gleefully said “Hi girls! Why’s everyone standing?” Aquaria looked at her in amazement “Were you asleep this whole time?” Yuhua said “I don’t know actually, I think my eyes might’ve been open. Hey, why’s the bus vibrating?” Blair screamed while clamping Yuhua’s shoulder’s “We’re all gonna fucking die!” Eureka slapped Blair across the back of the head and said “calm your ass down! “I think we should just stay in one spot. Ru’s probably not going to kill us after season 10 just finished!” Monique challenged “Then why is she making us go in the speed of Nascar?” Aquaria responded “Maybe just good technology? I haven’t spent my $100,000 yet! There’s no way something bad will happen.” Kameron thought out loud “What did she mean by college?” the other queens looked at each other with the same question

Bursts of rainbow smoke and specks of glitter and confetti cover all the windows. “Are we running over a pride parade? What the fuck is happening?!” Exclaimed Cracker. Suddenly, the bus stopped in a strong halt. Some of the queens fell forward including Eureka landing on Blair, which resulted in Blair letting out a bloodcurdling scream. Monet said “Girl, we’re fine, no one’s dead or maimed or whatever.” Blair shouted “You try being 4 feet tall and crushed by a hippo.” Eureka rebuttled “That’s an elephant to you, sweetie.”

The doors to the bus opened gently, all of the queens walked out slowly in cautious steps, noticing the ground was made of a cloud-like substance. Small specks of rainbow circles, presumably balls of fire stars or possibly streetlights, were barely visible behind waves of fog. The only building in sight was a large castle-like structure, all white, with orange and purple flags on the tips. “What...is this place?” murmured Aquaria as she led the rest of the season 10 sisters with scepter in her land like an Amazonian tribe leader. As they walked up to a 20 foot tall gold gate with red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, pink, white, black, brown and grey diamonds studded into the bars in that same pattern over and over, it suddenly opened, with a grinning RuPaul standing in front of the 100-stair steps of the house.

Asia in a slight yell of panic said to Ru, “What are you doing to us? You’ve sent us to... f-fucking Candyland, and you’ve almost gave us all a heart attack!” Dusty added “Asia’s right, you could’ve just told us about this before we got on a bus that turned into a fucking subway!” Yuhua also added “Specifically a japanese bus - Ru, what’s up?” Ru simply laughed feverishly and explained the story.

She said “You see ladies, there was a little show about turning some regular women into drag queens with the help of my season 1 to 4 sisters. Does anyone remember.... RuPaul’s Drag U?” Kalorie said “Oh yeah, I remember that, it was cancelled because of bad ratings.” RuPaul chuckles and said, “Oh no, I personally cancelled it, and only said it was because of the ratings to keep the secret.” Cracker asked “What secret? Is this the “college” you’re talking about?” Ru responds “Well, I have something to say - I’ve built a set of machines that can take over the world! They’re called the Dragulators, of course! What it is is a set of ray guns that when shot by a gay, can make a straight person do any sort of thing under mind control.......including ending homophobia.”

All the queens stood in shock with whispers from queen to queen. Vanjie asked “So what that got to do with us?” Ru laughed at Vanjie with a subtle wink that only an awkard looking Vanjie and Vixen noticed. Ru said “The issue is, I only have this technology in these guns, and I have no teleporter. Which is why I have my new set of recruits.” Kameron thought and said “Wait, so have the other girls done this?” To which Ru said “Oh, bitch, they’re still doing this! That’s why we have the dorms here!” “You have to stay here for life, with very few contacts to the outside world.”

All of the queens suddenly gasped and thought “Dorms?! For Life?! Sharing a room with another bitch?!?!” Aquaria shouted “You know what, if we’re ending homophobia, I’ll do it. Especially in pride season!” Monique, Eureka, Vixen and Cracker walked up behind Aquaria, Vixen said “As long as we still do performances, I’m going for it!” Monet looked at the 5 as if they lost their mind. She said “Are you crazy? I think I can handle a little dumb homophobic nobody if I don’t have to live in Equestria, who’s with me?” Blair, Mayhem, Vanjie and Dusty all raised a hand, with Dusty saying “True that, I have a husband to see every day, and I’m not losing him, let’s go”

Before any of them could take a step, Ru said “Oh, I guess you wouldn’t be paid then. Monet said “Paid? We’re getting paid for this?” Ru chuckled “How does.......$25,000 a day sound?” Both Kalorie and Aquaria shouted “What?!” with one sounding joyful and one sounding saddening. Ru then asked “Would you do it now? You can still use the internet here you know?” Monet, Blair, Mayhem, Vanjie and Dusty looked at each other with all smirking together. Mayhem turned to Ru and said “We’ll do it! We can take the homesickness, right gals?” They all shouted a reluctant “Yes!”

The remaining 4 - Asia, Kalorie, Kameron and Yuhua - were still on the fence. Kameron said “There’s no way I can do this, I need to see my family, friends and fans all the time. I’m out.” Ru scowled at her and pulled out a small gray box with a big red button on it. She used her other hand to slap as hard as she could. As soon as the four were near the bus, it disintegrated in a gout of rainbow flame. Ru slowly walked to the gate and said “Do you change your mind?” Yuhua let out a big gulp, with Kameron forced to say “Um....Alright, I’ll...we’ll do it, r-right Asia? Kalorie?” Asia and Kalorie nodded in fear. Ru in a millisecond turned to glee and proclaimed “Great! Welcome my girls, to Drag U! I’ll escort you to your dorm-mates!” Vixen shifted her head quickly to Ru and shouted wide-eyed “Did you just say dorm-mates?”

~~~~~TO BE CONTINUED~~~~~

(Hope you enjoyed part 1! Part 2 coming soon!)

[survivorhogsmeade]

Tribal Council #2: Zonko

Zonko, welcome back to tribal council. Let’s get into the questions.

ANNA, significantly more people participated in this round’s Room of Requirement task. Since there are now two Room advantages in the game, does that change how you will cast your vote at these coming tribals?

Yeah it’s a little concerning how many people participated in the Room of Requirement. Anything can happen in a game full of twists and I’m excited to see what comes next! With the thought of advantages coming into play I think the way I cast my next couple of votes will cause me to be extremely thoughtful and careful.

ALEX, you earned the highest score on your tribe, even double some of your other tribe mates. Do you think you challenge success will keep you safe this round, or will this vote be based off of something other than physical ability?

I did do good!  I'm very pleased with my score, yes.  That wasn't a question but it's important to love yourself.  Anyway, I think I am not in danger this round, and I think that challenge success is partly a factor in the vote tonight, but there are always so many factors in a vote.

ASHLYN, you received a vote at the last tribal council. Why do you think this happened? Are you worried about what will happen at this tribal council?

The vote was from another vulnerable person, They rather I go than they go.... I think Im definitely a viable vote and I will watch out- Though I completed the challenge

KYLIE, you earned one of the highest scores on your tribe this round after earning one of the lowest in the previous round. How much do you think people are paying attention to challenge contribution? Do you think your high score this round will keep you safe?

I think there’s a lot riding on challenge contribution so early in a game since it’s more “one for all” instead of “all for one” until merge; it’s more about keeping the tribe winning than any one person, so I do think challenge contribution is a big factor, which is why I went hard on this challenge after uh doin real bad on the last one lmao, there’s a lot to make up for so I wanted to start here, but it uh didn’t help enough I guess. I’m hoping it’ll keep me out of the running for who’s going home, but really who’s to say. You’re welcome for a very wishy washy answer

LUKAS, you earned the lowest score on your tribe, but not a lot lower than some of your other tribe mates. Do you think your low score will put you in danger? Why or why not?

Omgggg I didn’t even think about that so screw whoever wrote this question. If they wanna target me for that I understand, but why get out a comp flop? Lmao. Idk. Anyway, y’all watching drag race tonight? Who y’all stanning? I personally like Cracker and Monet. Idk why Monet was in the bottom last week but her lip sync snatched me. I’m nervous to see who goes home!!! How y’all feel about Aquaria too. She’s a polarizing figure. Anyway yeah. Keep me.

RUTHIE, your tribe has lost both of the challenges so far. Are you worried for your tribe in the future or do you think that you will be able to pull things together in the future?

I think that we have a strong tribe. Everyone tried to the best of their ability and hopefully if we keep giving it our all I’m sure our hard work will pay off!

STEPHEN, is it too early to start getting worried about idols?

I think it definitely should not be as if anyone has found an idol they won’t want to play it this early. But hey you never know

Let’s get to the vote.

If anyone has a hidden immunity idol and you want to play it, now would be the time to do so. 

No one stands. 

Alright, once the votes are read, the decision is final. The person voted out will be asked to leave the Tribal Council area immediately. I’ll read the votes. 

First vote:

I'm so sorry that it it's you but we haven't really connected while playing this game.  it's been a lot of fun and I hope to see you play another game one day! 

Second vote:

Sorry girlie, but you've only spoken 2 sentences to me and that's just not gonna cut it.

Third vote: 

That’s 2 votes Ashlyn, 1 vote Alex S

Fourth vote: 

Self Vote

Fifth vote, and the second person voted out of Survivor Hogsmeade is..

Sixth vote: 

Seventh vote:

Ashlyn, the tribe has spoken.

Well, Zonko, 2 tribals down. Let’s hope this isn’t a common reoccurrence for you.. Grab your torches, head back to camp.

[artificialqueens]

impulse control (brooke x vanessa) - evan

In which Vanessa is chaotic, Brooke is a professional, and nothing happens (yet). 1.6k.

AN: I’ve embraced the rumors and you should too, it’s very fun. I’m trying my hand at writing shorter fics with the goal of getting them out faster, and I hope you enjoy this! This might have more parts, we’ll see ;) She/her pronouns and drag names because I just started writing it that way and it feels unnatural to change it now!

As always, find me at @formercongressman <3

Cw for drinking and whispers of potential smut.

–

Brooke realized she probably shouldn’t have told the other girls that the hotel staff forgot to take the booze out of the minibar in her room. Hindsight was indeed 20/20.

The first hour was fun. Shuga and Nina were just as sweet as they had been on first impression, Yvie and Scarlet played bartender and mixed some suspiciously strong drinks, and Vanessa was bouncing off the walls with enthusiasm that she had made it past the first challenge. Hour two was tolerable. People trickled in and out, much to the chagrin of a PA that Nina quickly appeased with a shot. Hour three was when it really got exhausting. More than anything, Brooke wanted some sleep. She wasn’t sure what tomorrow would bring, but she knew that their 7 am call time was bound to be cruel to her.

Mercifully, at about midnight everyone got the hint and went back to their rooms. Except, of course, for Vanessa, who was halfway through painting her nails on the end of Brooke’s bed.

“Oh girl, you should have seen those judges’ faces, though, when I walked out. I know they were wanting to give me that Shangela edit but there’s no way that’s gonna happen because you know I plan on being in the top every week now—"

“Could you talk a little softer?” Brooke interrupted her. She was walking around the room trying to pick up the paper cups a few of the visitors had left strewn across the floor.

“Girl, I have one volume, you should know that.”

“I just don’t want to get in trouble on the first night.”

“You won the first challenge, it’s the first night, they’ll let it slide.”

Brooke waited a moment, cracking a smile. She leaned over to catch Vanessa’s eye. “And how would you know?”

“Oh bitch! Is it gonna be like that?” Vanessa cackled, screwing the nail polish top back on and standing up to admire her handiwork. “That’s ice cold, Queen of the North.”

Brooke chuckled to herself and crouched down to open the suitcase she had still yet to unpack. She was grateful she had thrown in a pair of sweats on top so she didn’t have to sort through the mess of boy clothes she had brought to find something comfy. She pulled her t-shirt over her head, hoping Vanessa would get the message that maybe it was time for her to go back to her room.

There was a pause. Brooke felt eyes on her, and she realized that perhaps this was having the opposite effect. 

“You’re pretty fine, Miss Brooke.” It turned out Vanessa’s voice could, in fact, get softer, and it took on a kind of lighter edge that Brooke had never heard before.

“I know.” Brooke’s response was automatic. She was used to getting hit on in dressing rooms, and was used to brushing it off. But then she remembered her surroundings. This certainly wasn’t a dressing room.

“I bet you do.” Vanessa came closer, propping herself against the wall near where Brooke stood. “I heard it gets bad in here with so many good looking people and no one to fuck.”

Brooke could see where Vanessa was going with this, and she would be lying if she said she wasn’t into it. Vanessa was a tiny package of energy with an unapologetic smile and a laugh that sounded like a weedwhacker but was still undeniably infectious. If this was a night at a bar in Nashville, she would be all over her. But it was the first night of the competition, she was already doing so well, and she couldn’t risk it with a distraction.

“Sister dick will make you sick.” Brooke repeated the phrase she had heard both Willam and Alaska say at some point, both of them not queens especially well known for taking that advice to heart, but that was beside the point.

“Oh, that’s not true.” Vanessa smiled, her voice dialing up louder and louder as she laughed at herself. “You think the girls who get to the top aren’t at least getting laid a little bit? You know, I was talking to Aquaria and you would really never guess—"

“Vanjie, shut up.”

Brooke was serious, and she turned around suddenly, not realizing just how close she had been to Vanessa. Vanessa’s back hit the wall with a solid thud, and Brooke had her pinned tightly between the wall and her body. She brought her arm up against the wall, blocking Vanessa in.

This was all an accident, but Brooke didn’t pull away. Something had shifted. She became acutely aware of just how small Vanessa was, her jaw agape as she craned her neck to look up at Brooke, who towered over her. As much as Brooke knew that logically this was a bad idea, she couldn’t ignore how overwhelmingly right it felt to be pressed against her like this.  

“Oh,” Vanessa breathed, her eyes wide, the corners of her lips creeping up. “Wanna make me?”

Without thinking, Brooke brought her hand over Vanessa’s mouth. Vanessa narrowed her eyes in confusion. Perhaps she was expecting a kiss to shut her up, but Brooke wasn’t ready to give her the satisfaction. Vanessa tried to twist away, but Brooke caught her arm and kept her solidly against the wall. Vanessa lifted one eyebrow, intrigue in her eyes, as she smiled against Brooke’s hand. Brooke wasn’t quite sure what was going on, but it felt like Vanessa was tuned into this same electric connection as she was.

Brooke felt Vanessa’s warm, wet tongue against the inside of her palm, tracing a slow, sensual circle that made something churn just below Brooke’s gut. Brooke drew her hand back a little, and Vanessa caught the tips of two of her fingers in her mouth. She didn’t break eye contact for a second as she sucked Brooke’s fingers, her lips plump and shimmering and oh fuck Brooke couldn’t help but imagine what those lips might look like wrapped around her, and of course Vanessa knew that. Brooke fought back the shudder that threatened to ripple through her entire body. Brooke pressed her fingers in just a little deeper and Vanessa’s eyes fell shut, and she let out the smallest perceptible noise.

Brooke was wildly turned on, there was no denying that, and she was pretty sure Vanessa was aware as well as they shifted their hips against one another. She pulled her fingers back with the subtlest pop, and Vanessa looked up at her with hooded eyes, waiting.

“That’s better,” Brooke whispered.

“You know what’s even better?” Vanessa asked, a smirk somehow traveling through her entire face.

She slid down against the wall, her face disappearing from view, and Brooke drew in a sharp breath. She felt Vanessa’s fingers teasing the edge of her waistband, her mouth hovering over where Brooke needed it so intensely, and oh wow oh god she could feel Vanessa’s warm breath through the cloth of her pants and she moved her hand to lace tightly in Vanessa’s hair and—

“No, no, we can’t.” Brooke pulled back, almost stumbling as she tried to put as much space between her and Vanessa as she easily could. The connection was severed, and Brooke tried to shake herself out of it. This was a competition, and she had to be professional. Vanessa let out a long sigh and leaned back into the wall. Brooke almost felt like she needed to apologize, but she held her composure. “I really don’t think it’s a good idea.”

Vanessa picked herself off the floor, adjusting her rumpled shirt. “Alright, suit yourself.” She picked up her phone from the corner table, and she turned to look back at Brooke, a scheming smile still on her face. “If you change your mind, you know where to find me.”

With a wink, Vanessa was out the door, and Brooke was left standing with her mouth hanging slightly open, surrounded by the suffocating tension in the air Vanessa had left behind.

“Shit,” Brooke whispered to herself as soon as the door clicked shut.

She walked to the bathroom and immediately turned on the shower. Cold water. What the fuck had just happened? She willed the cold water to wash away the sensation that tingled in her hips and at the back of her neck, with little success. She was here to win, not to get fucked. Yet try as she might, she couldn’t erase the image burned into her mind of Vanessa’s mouth around her fingers, and just how good it had felt holding her back, holding her down.

Sleep didn’t come easily, as her mind rushed between all of the events of the day, new faces and names, challenges, production details, every possible mistake and bad impression she might have already made. That much felt natural. But as she finally drifted off it was Vanessa’s curious eyes and devilish smirk that danced behind her eyes, and Brooke realized that keeping her eyes on the prize wasn’t going to be as easily as she initially thought it would be.