#and even then it was executed so poorly in almost every comic following rage of ultron that it ended up doing pretty much nothing for

[crimsoncowl]

sorry more west coast avengers posting, but like. while I am happy that they're taking ultron in this direction, I also can't help but feel so frustrated because it feels like marvel spent the past 9 years going several steps back with ultron, only to now arrive back at where they were with ultron literally in the 60s.

i'm so happy ultron's motivations and personality seems to align more with what he originally was like before hanktron/pymtron, but they're presenting ultron 'growing beyond hank pym' as something new when that was literally one of the first things ultron ever did

[homme-in-um]

Deposition of The Stag

Irish cinema is a unique and invaluable cultural export. Like many aspects of our culture, it’s hard to define exactly what brings a sense of ‘’Irishness’’ to a piece of art . Irishness in cinema utilizes the tools of absurdity, cynicism, dark-humor, sincerity and a gloomy, fable-esque tone. We are great storytellers, as twee as that sounds; look to Calvary, Young Offenders, Intermission, Give up Yer Oul Sins, The Guard. Don’t look to 2013’s The Stag. The marketing this thing got you’d think it was the first Irish comedy ever made.The horrifying thing is, I’m sure many believed that. Designed , as the many comparisons before and after its release would suggest, as an Irish The Hangover, The Stag seemingly recognizes the many elements that often come together to make a distinctly Irish movie so great, but dilutes and cobbles them together in such a frankenstein-ed manner to leave me sure the driving creative force behind this movie was the suitiest hollywoodian producer who ever produced , or an overeager southside film graduate. It is a vapid , humorless attempt to cash in on the success of its national peers .I do not like this movie, that’s hopefully clear unless I’m generally more curmudgeon than I thought I was. What really infuriates me is how inoffensive this movie seems to have been to everyone else. When I went to find solace in common opinion , I was even more horrified to find that reviews are overwhelmingly positive for The Stag. Mark Kermode of the Observer wrote ‘’A stag weekend gone wrong is the basis for a surprising amount of comic depth, minus the excesses of the Hangover franchise’’. ‘’Perfectly executed, and deeper than you may think’’ writes stuart-comerford of the first imdb review that appears. This thing got 81 percent on rotten tomatoes. The overwhelming response of the public is a ‘’fair play’’ smile and pat on the head , with an over-use of the term ‘’warm’’. Movies that I don’t like are ok, subjective medium and all that. Movies can be objectively bad and still be great- I’m looking at you The Scorpion King- but a movie that fails due to slovenliness and the underestimation of the movie going public's standards deserves bile, failure and angry blog posts.

This is a movie that falls sub-par from even professional quality on almost every count. Even those who sing it’s praises seem to recognize that lambasting these complaints as snobbish and high brow to the point that I got suspicious this was bought advertisement- a claim which I’m still pretty sure of in spite of being too lazy and bereft of evidence to back up. When I first saw The Stag in the cinema, within the first half an hour my defences were already way up. The movie, rightfully, supplements its run-time with establishing shots aplenty. No complaints on that score. The more time spent looking at Irish countryside or rainy Dublin streets the better, especially if it’s less time spent cringing through Andrew Scott careening between phoning in his performance and chewing the scenery in an attempt to make up for lost acting ability. The tricky thing about the admittedly beautiful use of Ireland as backdrop is that it jars with almost every interior scene, the lighting options of which seem to fall somewhere from 80’s soft-core porn to (poorly produced) internet sketch comedy videos in quality. This might seem pretty snobbish, but I guarantee you’ll notice it if you ever watch the film. Lighting is one of many fundamentals that this movie seriously drops the ball on, and as with any fundamentals, if it was done right, you’d never notice it.

No one goes into a movie to hate it. I consume media, cinema in particular like digestive biscuits. Most of us, whether we know it or not will give the benefit of the doubt for quality, story, performances and humor because we want to hear the story out. There’s no ‘’in’’ here, not a single likeable character to follow through the story although they all jostle desperately for position.

Finnán, Protagonist; spineless, unlikable, irrelevant lampooning of a ‘’metrosexual’’(we’re onto hipsters now surely, and even by 2013 that was getting old).

Davin , Protagonist?Antagonist?; Basically a rehashing of Finnán. Gets most of the jokes that would I suppose help the audience connect but for the smugness of it all.

The Machine, Antagonist?Probably?; Over the top , on the nose caricature of a grown up D4 head. Maybe I have a soft spot for the character but Peter McDonald, co-writer of The Stag, does an alright job. The faux-wisdom pumped out of The Machine is a pain, but there are real moments of emotion and comedy of which he is the linchpin. Does require an awful lot of shite-talk to get to ,which would be pretty unbearable but then a lot of D4 heads are that ridiculous, so fair dues.

The Rest?, ? ; I dunno, you watch it and tell me anything about any of the characters.

The script is chocked full of jokes so weak the cast trying to laugh together at them provide some of the best performances. It’s a masterclass in exposition. These two factors combined give the impression this movie went through several iterations of everything from actual comedy to drama to indie- any of the above. Then there’s the finale. Tacked on about three scene’s late after an over emotional punch the finale features Peter McDonald-the co-writer and comedic locus of this piece, giving a monologue about OIRland, how we’ve lost our way ( ‘’The Money, The Church’’- spare me) and, to finish this faux-Irish resolution, sings U2 to a delighted wedding party. Now, I understand that our constant U2 abuse as a contemporary nation is a trope the film attempts to lampoon in one of it’s unconfident , unfunny running gags, but even that is only tangentially relevant to Irish culture. Part of the viewer , if they’re anything as jaded as I am, has to find this ending oddly satisfying; a truly woeful cherry on this rum raisin ice-cream*.

*Insert your least favorite ice-cream here, I don’t want to pigeonhole all of us.

It frankly shocks me every time I sit through The Stag how no one person working on this mess of a project stopped what was happening. The actors are all Irish actors- one of their fathers is one of our most well respected. The crew , it being an Irish feature, are part of the amazing culture of cinema made here. How this turkey got signed off by any of them is beyond me. It did though, it did it’s stint in cinema( where yours truly paid actual money to see it)and now sits inoffensively online for consumption. And consume it I do. I’ve seen this movie probably about 4 times now. It makes me physically angry each time but I persevere to better understand exactly how to make and spot a hot turd of a film. It is of course, easier to critique than to do , but even the critics have failed us as an audience on this score. My crusade is to correct this. I will not let go of how terrible this movie is, and I will study it and rage against it to anyone who will listen to set the record straight. I’m watching it so you don’t have to. Or at least, don’t pay for it.