#and even then i was so upset when i realized id pissed him off by joking about his book 🥺

[doing-something-unholy]

On the one hand if i saw and had to have a conversation with a real priest i would panic but also i dressed up nice in a skirt and everything on saturday bec i thought a priest might be at that church i visited so idk

[lulumilkshake]

head prank on jujutsu kaisen men

pairing(s): g. satoru, k. nanami, f. megumi, i. yuuji, r. sukuna

authors note: no guillotine could prevent the head id give gojo tbh 🥱 lowkey ooc on some but wtvs!

g. satoru -

it was one of the only days he’s had off of missions in awhile and he spent a portion of it playing video games😐

since you were feeling lonely you decided to scroll on your phone to find something to do, that’s when you decided to prank your blue eyed boyfriend.. by giving him a “blowjob”

as you entered his dorm, he didn’t even realize you were in there in the first place because he was so enamored with the video game he was playing

you tiptoed to his desk and tapped him on the back where he jumped a little bit at your touch

“hold on a second” he murmured before turning back to his game

that’s when you decided to take your plan into action 😈 and crawled down under his desk

when he saw you crawling under his playboy instincts immediately kicked in and this mf MANSPREADED💀

you put your hand on his thigh and then.. grabbed a charger you “forgot”!

he was in SHOCK that you would do this to him and completely turned off his game and picked you up to his lap and sat you on his thigh

“got me all hard, you’re gonna take care of it now, yeah?”

k. nanami -

he was finishing up some reports on some missions in his office.

you were feeling extremely bored (and lowkey horny) so you wanted to prank your extremely serious husband.

you put on his favorite nightgown and walked into his office like a vogue model 💁‍♀️💁‍♀️

his eyes immediately turned to you eating you UP saying a quick formal hello and that’s when you started walking towards him

you crawled under his desk already seeing the affect the nightgown had on him before reaching up to spread his thighs

as he was about to unbuckle his belt you asked-

“wait do you think a balloon can blow up under water?”

he. got. PISSED.

not only was he stressed with work he had pent up sexual frustrations from EVERYTHING and this was his last straw

he picked you up and pinned you against his desk and exposing your panties

“don’t you have anything better to do then fucking tease me right now? now you have to be punished”

f. megumi -

he came back from a mission he had to finish up, and he looked like a mess

all sweaty, dirty and in need of rest

lucky for him he’s got a girlfriend who is about to make matters worse!

while he was out pretty much saving Japan you plotted a little plan to get back at your boyfriend for ignoring you today😡

he plopped down on his bed next to you not even saying a hello, ugh the nerve

because you didn’t wanna seem like a total asshole you quickly grabbed a washcloth cleaning him up before starting your plan 😈😈

“hey megumi..” you said in the sweet voice you know turns him on

he turned his head nodding as you crawled next to him

“ive had extreme needs lately, and maybe you have to?” you spoke seductively while straddling him with fingers going down to his v line

he gulped as you brought your head down to his belt, playing with it “what are you saying..?”

“i think you know what im saying…. I’VE REALLY BEEN CRAVING ICE CREAM LATELY! let’s go together now!” you said as you threw yourself on top of him.

bro was now SWEATY, TIRED, DIRTY, AND HAD A BONER. that’s crazy!!!! pretty sure his inner toji instincts about to jump ur bones atp

but fr he was not happy; his cold and usually comforting persona completely turned to a sexually pent up boy

he threw you on the bed like a rag doll, putting you ass up in the air💀💀

you SWORE he turned into toji fr

“all because I fucking ignored you once? you really need my dick that badly, huh? well you’ll take it all night then”

i. yuuji -

poor baby probably one of the only ones who doesn’t completely turn into a certified pussy destroyer 😢😢😢

you were watching a movie with him, a basic rom-com and you were a bit upset with him and he could tell

call yourself petty but you were angry because he ate the last ice cream sandwich when it had your name on it!😡😡

you never confronted him about it but he could tell you were angry at him for something so he was trying to do everything to make it up to you, even though he didn’t know what he did. (HES SOO PUSSY WHIPPED)

you decided to talk to him about it first

as he was extremely into the movie, he didn’t even notice that you tapped him to talk until you went down on the floor and crawled to his legs💀

as you crawled closer to his legs he also manspreaded™️

you placed your hands on his thighs as his breath hitched and then you….

“i am NOT happy with you right now😡” you said as you pouted between his legs

“huh..? um why did you go on the floor to say that..?” he asked confused and embarrassed for thinking he was gonna get a blowjob

“because I need a proper apology and the only way to get your attention right now is to make you think your getting a blowjob. feel ashamed.”

“im super sorry for.. whatever I did.. but i don’t know why your angry baby?”

yeah you thought he knew that you were angry because he ate the last ice cream sandwich but he didn’t 💀

you felt so bad so you gave the boy a proper blowjob, forgetting about the issue😭😭

after he found out that he upset you about that, he went out and bought more ice cream sandwiches and also a teddy bear

the only man who got his dick sucked without getting pissed!!🥳

r. sukuna -

uh yeah you got a death wish if you tryna pull this on him. not only will your pussy be destroyed after this, all of your ORGANS will be

but anyways.. you’ve realized that you’ve never pranked your sweet and loveable boyfriend before!🥰 so today you decided that you want to

as you walked into his room, he was sitting on his throne all high and mighty as usual

“what do you want, brat?” (a/n: wow he’s so hot guys i love when he destroys me! he loves my heart shaped sunglasses)

“i have something to gift you!” you gave him a sweet smile as he ordered you to come up

you kneeled down on your knees in front of him, asking for permission to touch him

yeah bro thought you were gonna give him a blowjob too so he agreed and you placed his hands on his thighs, as he shut his eyes

he noticed that you were taking too long to suck him off so he said something

“why the fuck are you taking so long?”

“because my gift is this!” you held up a flower… be so fr rn y/n

“are you fucking kidding me?”

he picked you up and threw you on his lap, ik that shit hurt too..

he pulled down the skirt you had down, as well as your panties

he bent you over his lap and slapped your ass

“not only are you being punished for thinking you could tease me you slut, im going to spank you until you bleed and cry out for my dick”

ian givin no warnings on this post what did u expect tbh

[felixsramen]

Yours Truly

This is part 20 to my Skz poly fic.

Previous<<<< Next>>>>

Warnings: None

You have a feeling of who it is already. Seungmin and Minho look at you as you grab your phone. You see the caller id. 'Innie'. You wonder if you should pick up or not but before you know it your hand hits the accept button.

You bring the phone to your ear. "Y/N? Are you there? I'm so fucking sorry." He says and you wonder if you shouldn't have answered.

"Do you guys not like me?" Comes out of your mouth before you realize what you said. There's silence for a second and you wonder if he's going to answer.

"No. God no. Y/N we like you so much." I.N. says sounding guilty. "Hyunjin didn't mean what he said." You hear a door open over the phone and the sound of footsteps.

"Is that Y/N? Please let it be Y/N." You hear what sounds like Hyunjin say. "Yeah. It's Y/N." I.N. replies back.

"Hyunjin wants to talk to you. Do you want to talk to him?" I.N. asks you. You look over to Minho and Seungmin who don't say anything or give off that you should.

You take a deep breath to steady yourself. "Yeah." You say softly and you hear the phone move around.

"Hello?" Hyunjin says almost unsure that you'd answer. "Hey." You say back and you hear Hyunjin let out a sigh of relief when he hears your voice.

"Fuck I'm so sorry. I know sorry won't fix anything but I'm so sorry. You deserve to be pissed or upset. I don't hold it against you. You're not just anyone you are one of us. I don't even know why I said that." Hyunjin says rambling on. You look over to Minho and Seungmin but they give you a small smile.

You sigh as Hyunjin continues on. "Hyunjin." You say softly and that shuts him up. "I'm not going to say it's okay. It's not but we miss you guys. I know it hasn't been that long but we miss you guys a lot." You say softly and you hear Hyunjin let out a soft sigh.

"God we miss you guys too. We miss you guys so much." He says back. He lets out a sigh of his own.

"This isn't to guilt trip you guys or anything. You don't have to come home. The boys don't want you to come home if you guys aren't ready and neither do I but Chan locked himself in his studio. He hasn't been out since the day you all left. He only comes out to eat or go to the bathroom." Hyunjin tells you and you can't help but worry about him.

"Don't feel guilty about it. Don't come home because I told you guys. Come home because you want to. Your own free will." He says finishing and you look to the boys sitting beside you. Seungmin reaches out a hand and takes yours in his.

"Jisung hasn't been sleeping well either though. We're all in our heads about it because we feel so guilty. I wanted you guys to know that though. It's not the same without you guys. We all want you guys home of course we do but not if you guys aren't ready to be home." He says telling you.

You nod as if he can see you. "We'll talk about it and decide." You tell him and he lets out a relieved sigh.

"Take your time. We miss you guys as much as you miss us. The door is unlocked and ready whenever you guys are. You all are our worlds okay?" He says wanting to make sure you knew.

"Okay. I'll talk to the boys." You tell him. Seungmin squeezes your hand reassuring you.

"Okay. I hope you guys sleep well." He tells you. "You guys too." You say softly.

You hang up and let out a breath you had no idea you were holding. Seungmin looks at you and smiles softly at you while Minho reaches across and rubs your back.

"How do you feel?" Minho asks and you sigh softly. "Better." You say and Seungmin rests his head on your shoulder.

"Good." Minho says and you sigh once more. "Chan locked himself in the studio. Apparently doesn't come out much. Jisung isn't sleeping well either." You say and Minho nods.

"Are you ready to see them?" Minho asks. "I'm not sure yet." You say and Seungmin and Minho nod.

"Hyunjin said he didn't want us back if we don't want to come so that makes me feel better." You say and they nod.

Seungmin lifts his head from your shoulder. "Yeah. They don't ever try to make us feel bad for things we do. They haven't ever really tried guilt tripping us either about stuff." Seungmin says and this time you nod.

"Are you guys ready to see them?" You ask and Seungmin and Minho shrug. "I don't know. I miss them of course. I love them a lot too but what they said about you is hard for me to even think about." Seungmin says and Minho nods.

"They said a lot of stuff that I'm not sure if I were you that I could forgive. I'm just imagining if it was myself." Minho says and you nod at his words.

You sigh and squeeze Seungmins hand gently. "Is it bad I miss them though?" You say and they both shake their head.

"Of course not. You've gotten close to all of us. We also miss you when you're away. It's no different than that." Seungmin says softly and you nod.

You nod placing your own head on Seungmins shoulder. "Thank you." You say softly.

"Don't thank us. We haven't done anything special." He says and you shake your head. "Thank you guys for sticking up for me." You say softly.

"Always will." Minho says softly.

Taglist: @queenmea604 @lolareadsimagines @tinyworld18 @liv302 @jinniespuppy @stephy-nicole13 @freyaniobe @chansbabygirlsstuff @jkookiejiminlvr @hyuneyeon @sirenthalia @nagadiluc @tenshimara @leeknowleeknow @boi-bi-ahaha @shltsnglggles @jfkedldndkd @tinystarsthing @armystay89 @baby-fairy-yas @haileybugulug @freckleboilix @im-sinking-in-mud @thatoneperson1911 @lmaouwu @greysweaters-blog @katrodriguez99 @3rachasninja @amararosesblog @1alesakura @m4gg13-g @vampcharxter @noellllslut @berryberrytan @junebug032 @jeonginwvr @jeongchaos @emyferra08 @stvrfir3 @feybin @mauvemelon @worcesheshestershiresauce @realrintaro @katsukis1wife

[weareweirdpeople]

not a vent but diabetic shit because why not I want to share my experience

I have diabetes. I've had diabetes sense i was an elementary schooler on the way to middle school. Diabetes fucking sucks and it runs in my family. Because of this, and the fact that my family refuses to call it a disability despite it literally being a chronic illness, it has taken me a while to realize I do infact have a disability.

in hindsight, I am "lucky" that my mom raised me restricting lots of "unhealthy snacks" (non health foods. My mom viewed fucking cheezits as unhealthy and she came from a family that was even stricter with 'healthy' foods.) This meant that when I got diagnosed with diabetes, I would be prepared for the fact that now they weren't just rare treats my mom was learning to be ok with. Now they were aparently dangerous to my health and I could almost never eat them again.

My uncle has severe type 1 diabetes and my mom used to try to help him manage it, but he's a grown man whos never taken good care of it and does what he wants. So now that I had diabetes she was going to are sure I definitely didn't end up like that. This means that even if he himself brought all the kids a sweet treat, depending on my blood sugar I wouldn't even be allowed to have it. Most of the time she didn't want me to have it. This all went down with covid and I got to live with my diabetic father. The plus side was that the restrictions where pretty much gone, and I just needed to manage my sugar. The bad part is that I was fucking terrified of pricking my finger. It would take me hours to pick my finger, and my dad would be pissed. It slowly became very normal. I also had to learn how to take pills and open a pill bottle.

A while later now that I'm living with my whole family, I still have great care over my diabetes. I say great care as in how my family views it. I have the best a1c, I have the most consistent blood sugars. Personally I'm happy I can do that while having major depression but it makes me sad at the same time. It just pisses me off. Anytime my sugar is high I'm asked "what did you eat? What did you eat today? What was your sugar this morning?" I have an anxiety disorder. The doctors and google have told us that stress and anxiety can heighten blood sugar. Every time its about what I at. If im super sleepy? What did I eat? Whats my blood sugar? If im super anxious? Whats my blood sugar? Is it low? What have you eaten today?

My mom has always been focused on my diabetes. I low key hate it.

But in hindsight some of her ideas and things she let me do were so bad that its actually funny. Like holy shit mom, that was wild.

She at first wanted me to count all of my carbs. Every time I ate. All the carbs. She wanted me to check my sugar everytime I ate and then based on that it would determine what I was allowed to eat.

Then there was the point in time where she let me run around outside all day without eating lunch and sometimes even breakfast or any water until my sugar dropped crazy low and I was dizzy and shaking, and then id go outside again right after it went up. She doesn't like me reminding her of this because she says it makes her feel like a bad mother and that she was distracted. Im pretty sure the only constant meal was eating was dinner.

one time during Easter when we did an egg hunt my siblings got eggs fully of candy like normal. But my mom was running late on candy shopping so instead of giving me candy eggs, she made me get the special eggs she made, thinking they had zero sugar candy. They were fuckkng almonds. Unsalted Almonds. What. The. Fuck. I have never let her live that shit down, because who gives their kid fucking almonds as a treat??? Diabetic or not, unsalted almonds???

I was very very upset that year to say the least. My mom has always been stingy with any candy of any sorts. Even before we knew I was diabetic I was only really allowed 1-3 prices of candy from a holiday at most, and only after dinner. My Halloween candy especially would either go bad or she would eat it as well and I would not get much of it.

And after diabetes? Keto everything. My mom wanted to find as much keto stuff as possible, and I get it. We have a diabetic household, but she didn't do that shit until I got diagnosed with diabetes. I am happy that by now shes pretty much stopped all her restrictions and the keto stuff, she's still really diabetes focused when it comes to my mood and doesn't consider it a disability but that's okish.

Hilariously j don't have type 1 diabetes. Or type 2. I have a genetic mutation, and have had to convince multiple people that no I don't just have type 2, no I didn't not get diabetes because of my eating habits have you fucking seen me I am a god damm stick and even if I was fat that doesn't mean shit, no I cannot just eat fruit instead of candy that's not how diabetes works you peice of shit.

Long story short, i don't get a CGM or an Insulin pump. I actually make too much insulin, and dont really absorb it all and a CGM is to expensive... that means I just have to watch my sugar and take my pills indefinitely and I can't check my sugar too much because then I'd have to wait for my refills to get done because American health care fucking sucks ass.

lol diabetes sucks, stop being assholes to people with diabetes.

[submassed]

ok senpiss and osuke megapost right here rn guys im so sorry if i forget anything + if this doesnt make any sense: (im not sorry) (this is just gonna be like. Explaining lore and shit mostly idk idk i might add more as time goes on)

warning i talk and ramble a lot during this i am so sorry to everyone on the senpai fnf tag i will not stop preaching about my two idiots

OK so my brain is fucking massive and huge i have two seperate versions of their relationship because i love how complex the both of them can get (even though senpai is quite literally surface level for like everyone who doesnt know how insane i am about his character and how much ive tried to actually give him More Character)

edit: (i lied theres like three seperate versions but im not going to explain them all because its too much and i already feel bad for talking this much)

the first one is literally just typical, bros not in the game or whatever no game exists its just normal bro time ueah ueah (i call this one Normal) (actually i dont call it that) (idk what to call it) (its the one my brain presets to) (if i dont specify which one it is its most likely this one)

the second one is a little more closer to canon senpai where hes actually in the game & this one is More Upsetting to Me a LOT a lot (ill probably get into this more when i actually have a set idea on what i want this au-ish thing to be about) (whenever im talking about this specific thing ill specify this one)

a little sneak peak on the second one is essentially just. osuke collects games, comes across senpai, they both get attached, osuke realizes how bad its getting, tries to get rid of the cartridge because he wants to focus more on actual life shit, senpai somehow Manages to come back (i explained the whole plot im so mad)

the first one is where like. osuke constantly has to move schools due to his parents travelling for work a lot. eventually he just decides to settle in with his sister and just attend the last year at the hs senpai goes to or whatever.

osuke is A COMPLETE LONER!!!!!!! HES A FREAK!!!!!! and HATES MAKING FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!! and senpai is just like Holy fuck whats up dude hey whats Up hey and just gets Ignored by osuke entirely which Pisses him off because how dare you ignore the most popular guy in School?????

so senpai just. Continuously tries to bother him so they Can be atleast Friends. Wgich OSUKE he fucking hates it because hes like "waaahhh waaahhhh whats the whole point its not gonna last waaahh waaahhhh"

but he manages to soften up and get used to it which THEN causes their initial friendship or whatever.

senpai obvs isnt gonna let all that work go to waste as soon as he became close with him Because He Realized How fucking Annoying Osuke also Is but he doesnt Mind jt because at first they are #Besties

they kinda have some sort of like "lets make fun of people together" bond Becsude They Are both Pieces of shits except one of them is popular snd another one is just Bitter and A Loner

Im not too sure how they got together yet, i hsvent decided on it. I'm kinda leaning towards the side where senpai is conflicted with these sorta feelings and isnt sure How to actually say it to Him because. Wow! Being friends with a loner? Already Damaged your View on others! And then WANTING TO DATE HIM??? WOW!!!!!!!

plus with the fact that like they most def have some sort of complexity between eachother where osuke is hella fucking jealous about his social status at school whereas senpai is SUPER SUPER SUPER jealous about osukes just. way of not Caring about what people think of him (he foes care he just tries to not let it bother him too much) (it bothers him but he doesnt say it outwardly) (he has a lot of internal shit stuck in him)

its like????? kinda tense but also not????? like the frustration fuels them both in a way if that makes sense (like their love for eachother?????? i dont know)

id like to think there wasn't just a confession it was more so pf just a awkward like, "oh shit we're pretty close, oh fuck wait hold on youre doing this rn????? dude youre kisisng me whay the fuck????? dude??????? are we like a thing now what?????? hellow??????"

i know that senpai would Probably Want there to be a confession originally but osuke is actually too fucking dense to connect two and two together (mainly due to the previous factor of him not really having much friends + having to move on so quickly and Not really processing it fully)

i just really like intimacy between them i think its really sweet seeing it 🦭

thats all i can really think of rn so ill wrap it up enjoy this big ass thread about me talking about my stupid guys i apologize again

[machinavillage]

i think i complained about my internet friend i visited irl last month.

about a week after i got home, after not talking to him for a week i tried to explain why i was upset. and he gave a pretty bland apology idk what else i expected. and sometimes i miss talking to him, but i sort of dont anymore. now im worried about when he's going to reach out to me again, or if we never talk again, or if im supposed to. or what. but i also dont feel like i can talk to him. its kinda funny.

like main thing was really that i was viscerally uncomfortable the whole time i was there. horrible dirty bathroom and he gave me nasty food and i would feel weird if i ordered takeout without him. and i travelled 8 hours on plane and he didnt want to go anywhere or do anything. just sit and play on his ps5. and he had the gall to look over at me and say "oh i wanted to text you right now but i realized youre right there". and when i got him to go out and go places with me, he clearly didnt want to be there. and he'd complain like "oh i dont want to go somewhere on the bus if we're on the bus for 30 minutes or more" bitch i was on a plane overnight for you? fuck you!

and now its like. i regret all the times i tried to talk to him about how i was failing to cope with child abuse and csa stuff like. i poured my heart out to this person and he never really gave a shit and had some of the cruelest responses to me honestly. and i kept fucking trying because i thought if im patient enough ill get something good in return.

i dont get shit i keep getting someone who tells me "oh, i really learned my lesson that time! im so sorry! i need to think more about how i treat you" and like. am i supposed to be learning something? did i do something wrong i need to learn from. is this mutual? at all?

i kept offering to buy him food and pay for all the ubers too because he didnt have a job right now. all i asked for in return was that he be somewhat interested in spending time with me. but since i couldnt even get that, i feel like i wasted hundreds of dollars now. i still didnt know ahead of time that it was possible for my feelings to turn in that way. like every mistake and every time he's pissed me off before is coming back now. it all got recontexualized and i realize he must not care about me at all.

i was going to tell him that im fine just being friends with him online but now im not even sure thats true. the stuff i complained about in my visit with him isnt even all of it. its way longer than that i just picked a few of the things that really hurt. he wouldnt go on an 1-2 hour walk through a nearby park with me. it was like 30 minutes to there, but i wouldve paid for the uber to or something and we couldve walked outside. he just "didnt feel like it". but then when he introduced me to his friend she said they went there together all the time??? whats up with that. why am i nothing.

like idk what to say to him now but saying nothing is starting to eat at me. int he back of my mind i dread him messaging me. i want him to disappear now. none of this is stuff id type about someone i still felt close to. but it feels weird to instantly hate someone because of that. but im not sure its instant either. i just cant really sort it out.

i feel like i kept waiting for years and saying "this is the person im closest too this is the only person i can tell this stuff to" especially in regards to trauma stuff and i just picked the wrong person entirely. and i kept thinking if continue trying it would pay off and id really really get something good. im so stupid. all that time i kept saying "this is the person im closest to" was probably time i couldve spent actually talking to other people or finding actual support.

now its been years since i socialized with people and i dont know how to. all for someone who seems to not care about me, not get anything out of me aside from playing video games together. and i guess i imagined everything i gained from being close to him.

[kusundei]

u guys r so weird like both of you .

no bcuz like ur both such hypocrites??? it started earlier at the breakfast where ur complaining ab him to his parents like whaaat.?? u bring up his issues w smoking and jts like ummm. u know our entire family smokes right. sam smoked too. like huh but no this is an issue with the baby now. ur so like oblivious to how addiction works its kind of crazy? like of course hes gonna have a hard time quitting hes been smoking for like 30 yrs idk man . same w the drinking like uhhh. ?? its also so odd to me bcuz ur complaining ab him being an “alcoholic” but he just sorta drinks a beer or two a day. YOU. were an alcoholic. dont forget that.

like u guys r so dumb bcuz idk i keep alternating back and forth on who i feel worse for but u both r doing practically the same thing to each other? ur complaining hes complaining. youre yelling hes yelling. you both r going out of ur ways to piss each other off and its so tiring???

no bcuz the way you were like “yeah and i was telling him that i dont care if youre stressed, i dont need to be your punching bag because its not my fault.”

do you hear yourself? do you not realize you do rhe exact same thing to him AND me? everyday? hell id argue jonathan is so much nicer ab everything despite how annoying it all is. YOURE just mad because youve never had someone actually retaliate towards ur bullshit. not that im choosing sides here because jonathan as well is also kinda fucked up but just like. youre both hypocrites, youre making things worse for the both of you. neither of u can acknowledge when to stop or when youre wrong and its sooo sickening.

it i could stand up for myself i wouldnt even. why? it gets me nowhere with you and jonathan as well because you two r one in the same. you will never acknowledge when youre wrong and you will keep fighting till youre both too upset to talk anymore. god u guys r so annoying sometimes and the fact ur shoving me in the middle???? YOURE making ME aggravate jonathan cuz its not like he can do anything to me but still..???? why do i have to be involved? why does jonathan talk ab me too? like what the heeelll.

as much as my uncle sorta made me mad sometimes i wish he didnt move out now bcuz . im alone here. i mean he just moved out yesterday but still im like.. ughh…….

[evandorepart2]

longgggg fucking vent post under the cut. idk if it even counts as vent i am simply relaying information about the situation and i am unsure how i should feel right now

oh my fucking GOD my brother is such an asshole like. ok so whats happened over the past couple days is that

i hit a depressive period. it is Obvious -> since im depressed i dont have energy to eat or cook much and ive been struggling with making sure to eat Before this -> we have recently got groceries and there are muffins. before this i was literally eating a slice of bread so i would at the very least not pass out or vomit so obviously when we have that im going to switch to Depending on that -> this is something i do a lot, unconciously, to eat. i have a single 'meal' and stick with it until its run out. whether or not it has lots of steps.

what happened after this is

my brother gets pissed cause i ate all the muffins and he calls me a bitch and some other stuff idr cause i deleted the messages -> i am hanging by a thread and being confronted abt an insecurity on multiple levels makes me very upset -> i attempt to deflect these feelings by joking about it so that i can convince myself that im not upset -> he responds negatively and calls me annoying + brings up the fact that hes the only one whos been cleaning downstiars and subtly implying that im lazy and never do any work. a fact he Has said to my face despite this being proven Not True many times. and none of the Mess hes been cleaning up is mine since i have not been using the kitchen / using dishes / had items isolated to a single small table -> i get more upset and decide to be honest and write a short, frank note [bc this is all over text bc he never talks to me face to face] saying that i am depressed. its difficult to eat and i wasnt even Thinking of him [as he is someone who regularly gets on everyone else for eating junk sweet food so i dont think he wnats that stuff] and i apologize for being a dick and thank him for cleaning up.

after this he does not respond which means that there is nothing else he wants to say on the matter. that was a few days ago and i do not talk / go near him. ive phsyically seen him Three times since this exchange. and they lasted a few seconds since i quickly Left The Area.

today was the first time hes messaged me since then to tell me to do the dishes. i Was going to - was debating not to but then it got into my head as a Task I Need To Finish before i could continue what i was doing - but when i went downstairs he was on the couch and this scared me so i went back upstairs and was promising to do it tomorrow.

Until i had another breakdown and completely reorganized all my projects so i wouldnt have an unproductive spiral. and then i just finished so i thought Now i will do the dishes so i can get back into doing my Other Tasks. that is if they werent done - the thing with the dishes is that he said he was going to cook. which is how it usually goes. so its not like he just told me to clean LOL

but during this time i had headphones on which are sound proof and as i was going outside i took them off and realized the tv was on which means hes downstairs. and also i could smell meat cooking, meaning he was making dinner. its at this point i was like. whoops i didnt do the dishes that sucks but also. i Have told him i was in the middle of a depressive period. i havent been eating and i havent been leaving my room at all. even my father picked up on this. its easy to assume that he understands that hey! maybe youll tell me to do something and i just dont do it. for gods sake i didnt even answer the text bc i didnt want to say id do it and then not do it.

so i went to shower instead and felt really sick standing up since obviously i havent eaten and it feels like my stomach is caving in and i can smell food cooking which just makes it significantly worse.

which is whatever. i leave. i think about whether or not my pride will let me go downstairs when he tells me hes made dinner. NOTE: my father is gone today - hes partying with his work friends as a going away thing. so it is just us.

except! he hasnt texted me at all! in fact! its been half an hour since i know he cooked and nothing has been said to me. which leaves the options. he made something else and i can just fend for myself. he made the original meal [which was burgers and takes a while to do cause he does it from scratch] and was pissed that i didnt do the dishes so he didnt make me any. or hes still cooking and has yet to text me [doubtful]

which. i dont know which is worse! and i am unsure if i am allowed to be upset by this!

because on one hand yea. i was supposed to do the dishes and i couldnt even bring myself to do that.

but on the other hand. man im fucking depressed. it took two days of convincing to get me to brush my teeth again. i am getting physically ill from lack of food and ive been having casual thoughts of suicide again. and its not like he doesnt know. like ive told him. ive left out my diagnosis papers so he could see them - which he told me hes read ! im not 'suffering in silence' or whatever. im just FUCK i dont know. i hate this stupid family.

its like everyone looks at me and goes. yea you have problems. but the second i start i dont fucking know having problems everyone gets soooo mad at me and tells me how awful and lazy and how im literally never going to ammount to anything or do anything < real words that my brother had said ! he went off very long on how pathetic i am to my father and only 'apologized' like a day later when he was high which was barely even an apology he just said sorry and then hung up.

its like every time i try to get better and then everyone around me just. fucking i dont even know man. my mom hates me. my brother hates me. my father hates everything i like and everything i stand for and completely refuses to ever listen to me actually talk. im awful person to everyone around me and all my friends and im not getting out of this hell hole. nothing is going to change when i get to iowa. im just gonna be the same shitty person in an even shittier country with people and family that i hate

[brianyololau]

January 4, 2023

starting the year off with good habits. I’m gonna journal lol. kind of weird making a post after i’ve been so lazy to for so long, but there have been too many times where i thought about how journaling would be really good for my mental clarity right now. there were times when i had multiple stressors in my life going on at once, and i didn’t allow myself some way to express and think about these things. i think it’s a necessary process because allowing time to be present creates realizations and through realizations come wisdom & experience.

So here I am. i have a lot to unfold, but I guess i’ll take this one day at a time because i’m busy tonight. today is my first day that i’m working at orange coast memorial hospital night shift 😮‍💨. ur boy’s employed and not just that.. at a muh fudgin HOSPITAL BITCH. I got an ID that scans into computers, opens doors, and everything. I gotta be at work in an hour so imma cut it short.

I made grandma cry today. I didn’t mean to, but I feel like shit for it. I woke up stressed bc I let myself sleep in, I had work to worry about, some fear of how my life is gonna change, and I knew I had more errands I hadn’t finished. So, i got more annoyed when i was microwaving food and grandma kept asking mundane questions that felt like I was being talked to by a robot. no substance. it felt like a chore just speaking to her. so i didn’t as i was eating and she noticed and asked why i was upset. so i basically told her that and said if she wants me to talk to her more she should start asking more personable questions like how i’m feeling and how was my first day at work. she said okay and started crying, so she left to the sofa. I came over and asked what was wrong, and she told me it hurts when i don’t talk to her because she loves me and always wants to talk to me. But i don’t ask about her. I started feeling terrible. I knew she’s been sad and becoming more weak minded. However, I just didn’t feel like I had the power to change her situation which is why I tried to just be there for her in presence, but I should’ve known that wasn’t enough. Even though I’m not good at expressing emotions nonetheless inquiring about them, I realized how important it was to always consider them. Because you never know who you could be affecting by neglecting them. And I had neglected my grandma’s without realizing it.

I apologized. I explained to her that a lot of things in my life recently have made it hard for me to feel at peace and waking up in the morning to these stressors have made me more irritable which made me more cold to her. I told her I never meant to hurt her like that. I could never. Talking to her made me realize that I was ungrateful for the people I have in my life and that I was forgetting who I’m living and trying to be happy with.

What’s the point of striving for success if you’re not making your life any happier? Knowing that my grandma loves me and supports me with everything she has makes me happy enough. How could I forget that?

Grandpa came during this conversation and started demanding me to read something for him. so told him I was busy. he had the audacity to get pissed and tell me it would just take a minute. I raised my voice and repeated myself which i probably shouldn’t have done but he got the message. Immediately he assessed the situation, looked at my grandma and said why’re you crying? who made you cry? hurry up and tell me so i can fix this. she said no one im just feeling sick. she had my back. he then scoffed and said what kinda wife doesn’t share things with her husband and went back to his room. he came back out to get picked up by someone, and i heard him call mutter to himself how grandma was clumsy, slow, and basically a person not worthy of respect. real pos moment right there, myself included as well.

I went to the gym later and told myself that this year, i should stop letting stressors in life affect my personal life at home. they should be mutually exclusive until i remove myself from the comfort of my home because allowing stress into every part of my life is not worth projecting its manifestations onto myself and around the people i love during every waking moment.

[sonny-d]

this is literally beautiful holy shit i am amazed

when i made the post i was referencing when ive said stuff abt kilgharrah revealing that hes dying playing a big part in merlin losing his shit (this post) but i didnt think abt it happening earlier in the series this is feeding my ideas ill save this then update it with my thoughts later once i sort them

ok its later im off that fucking farm (actually it was amazing there was a cat that i befriended and we took a nap together and i understood him so well bc he rly liked having his face rubbed and it was just like me when i autism)

so the things that im thinking rn are that merlin was already losing his fucking shit cuz everyone was dying then kilgharrah revealed that hes gonna die soon and that was simply so much i firmly believe it had a very big effect on merlin

theres a certain feeling i need to portray of the way that merlin protects arthur and i dont rly know how to describe it so that anyone but me could understand i think the best way to say it is that merlin has lost the good pure i love you and ill tell u that one day but conditions arent good enough yet love and is now on the bad corrupt obsessed i have killed for u so many times i love u so much and u can never know love and he protects arthur kind of out of habit and a lot out of keeping him alive until merlin can reveal his magic and he can be fucking free and i say habit bc he doesnt rly believe that much that hes actually ever gonna be free he just remembers when he used to and goes with that so when he gets all bloody he remembers how bad he wanted to be free before

anyway this is relevant bc im realizing rn that kilgharrah is a huge HUGE part of this timeline bc he tells merlin abt the prophecy and i also firmly believe that when merlin freed him not only did he feel bad abt being the reason camelot was almost destroyed and learn abt being a dragonlord then watched his dad die i think that when he freed kilgharrah he thinks abt how bad he wants to be free and its kinda just a small thing in the back of his head till his dad dies and hes like holy shit this never wouldve happened if id been allowed to exist then this thought sparks the going fucking crazy bc he wants to be free arc and it combines with the going fucking crazy bc ppl keep dying arc which starts a lil after that and when kilgharrah mentions that hes dying these arcs kinda have a moment bc their dynamic is strange hold on i need to explain it in another paragraph for myself so i can understand what the actual fuck im tryina say

so at the beginning merlin thinks its so cool that he has this great destiny so him and kilgharrah are besties then theres the thing that kilgharrah does i forgot what it is where theyre beefing for a bit but then merlin needs somebody and kilgharrahs been the only one in the past to actually be able to help so he has to go to him even tho hes pissed off abt it and this is how they are the whole time bc kilgharrah talks shit abt the ppl merlin like then he ends up being right then theres the whole thing with him terrorizing camelot but merlin cant be mad bc that mf was hunted then enslaved for years and the terrorizing of camelot is the reason merlin knows more abt who he is now so basically their whole thing is im gonna come to u for advice be upset abt what u have to say then be even more upset when u were totally fucking right kilgharrah literally is merlins gay bestie that always knows everything abt how to get that man and which ones to not go for

i also think kilgharrah is a physical representation of all the shit merlin internalizes idrk how to explain that ill update if i figure it out but its the core of their lil love/hate

ok back on topic tho bc kilgharrah had so much influence over the whole story in the way that if he had or hadnt said certain things at certain times things wouldve changed but theres also how would merlin have processed his death at certain times on the timeline like if kilgharrah died a lil before merlin met mordred again would merlin have remembered his dead friend and in his grief been like hm that stanky mf was always right maybe i should just fucking kill this dude right here right now then mordreds too dead to kill arthur and its happily ever after or if kilgharrah died at any point from season 3 on but while merlins beefing with him would merlin feel bad bc thats still his friend and he died while they were on bad terms so he goes and fixes all the problems kilgharrah told him abt that he promptly ignored bc he didnt wanna kill his friends like theres so many possibilities in so many ways

ily for sparking these thoughts bc now im gonna be the mf exploring the different ways shit coulda gone down thru writing fics

do u guys think arthur still wouldve died if kilgharrah died first

[shouldershimmycity]

Brother Knows Best (Rooster x Sister Reader)

"Hey! I absolutely loved your latest fic! Is there anyway I could request a reader who is Roosters adopted teenage sister she’s like 16 or 17 and he has custody over her.

Maybe she gets involved with a older guy who is around 19 or 20 and Rooster has a huge problem with it and starts a fight because he is so over protective and can see that he is bad news, and the reader sneaks out that night and runs away to the guy but ends up getting hurt and Rooster and maybe Maverick find her and she apologizes and it’s just a cute sibling moment.

I would love if you could write this but I also completely understand if you can’t!! Thanks in advance!!!"

FIRST OF ALL, YES I CAN ABSOLUTELY WRITE THIS!

SECOND OFF ALL, I LIKED THE IDEA TOO MUCH TO NOT WRITE IT TONIGHT SO MERRY CRISIS/CHRYSLER/CHRISM TO YOU DEAR ANON! *MWAH!* I KNOW IT'S KIND OF SHORT BUT I HOPE YOU LIKE IT!

TW: Assault, swearing, and being drunk

*****

You were tuning out your older brother. He was in the middle of scolding you for something you didn’t care about. He was too uptight, being a military man. You on the other hand, were the complete opposite. You weren’t even related to Bradley by blood, which explained so much about the differences between you two. 

Carole Bradshaw adopted you when you were six, and she died when you were ten. You loved her to death, but it made you upset to think about her when you ended up with him. Bradley was such a friggin’ control freak and it drove you up the wall. You looked over to find Bradley staring at you, waiting for a response.

“Sooooooo are we done?” you asked him, the boredom dripping from your tone. Bradley made a face that was something between frustration and just giving up. 

“You’re not seeing Jared again. He is seven years older than you! You are seven-fucking-teen!” he ordered.

“You joined the fucking Navy when you were eighteen, I’m basically an adult, Bradley!” you shouted back. He looked around and threw his hands up in the air. 

“I got a JOB, when I was eighteen, I didn’t date a MINOR!” he countered. 

You rolled your eyes and walked upstairs, Bradley shouting after you. FUCK he was so annoying. You slammed your door for good measure, and turned to read the text message that had caused your phone to ding. 

“Hey baby, we still on for tonight?”

You texted Jared back with zero hesitation, wanting nothing more than to piss your brother off again. 

“Hell yeah. Do you have my fake ID for me?”

‘“Course babe. Can’t fuck shit up without one.”

You turned your phone off and grinned like the Cheshire cat. 

Excellent.

*****

Bradley sat on the couch, flipping through the TV blankly. Maybe he was too hard on you. He knew you had been given the crappy cards, crappier than his. But he just wanted you to be safe, that’s all he needed to know. He sighed and turned the TV off, it was nearing eleven thirty at night and Bradley wanted to try and have a civil conversation with you so he could sleep alright tonight. 

He trudged up the stairs and knocked on your door lightly. You didn’t answer. He looked at the bottom of your door. Lights are on. He turned the knob and the door creaked open quietly. The pilot stuck his head into your room to peer around. SHIT. He pushed the door open all the way and looked chaotically around your empty room. He opened your closet to make sure you weren’t hiding from him, and he looked around maybe six times until he realized he was just spinning in circles.

Ripping his phone out of his pocket, he called the only person who knew you better than Bradley did. 

“Maverick, my sister snuck out, and I think she ran off with that dickhead boyfriend,” he explained quickly. 

“Any idea where they might have gone?” he asked, putting his shoes on in the background.

“None, maybe a bar? She wouldn’t go to the Hard Deck, Penny knows her. God, Mav, I have no idea,” he said, his words rushed and nervous. Maverick was quiet on the line for a second, and Bradley waited for the older man to answer him.

“Let me make some calls.”

*****

You were on the beach, sitting in the bed of your boyfriends truck. There was a bonfire going while Jared and his friends drank all the liquor your group of “friends” had collected. You were drunk, but not as drunk as Jared. 

Jared was going on a very loud tirade about how all military men were a bunch of cowards and bitches. It was starting to make you uncomfortable. You often got pissed off by your brother, but he was a hero for all the shit he’s done and gone through. Don’t even get started on Maverick. You would defend your uncle until the day you died. You were starting to want to leave.

You saw it before you heard it, what with traveling faster than the speed of sound. An F/A-18 flew in a low pass past the beach, and you smiled a little. Late night training. Jared, on the other hand, threw a bottle into the air, with the hope he could hit the aircraft that only a drunk man could have.

“FUCK! OFF!” he slurred, shouting. Alright, enough was enough. You got out of the bed of his truck, hopping down to talk to Jared.

“Jared, I’m ready to go now,” you stated. He gave you a sneer.

“I’m not going anywhere yet,” he said. You stared back at him.

“But I want to leave now,” you said, trying to reason with him. You didn’t like Jared when he was like this, drunk off his ass.

He turned to look at the rest of the group, who were glaring at you, then backhanded you across the face so hard you fell into the sand. His rings had cut your face in a few places and you stared at him in shock.

You stood back up shakily and he punched you in the gut, knocking the wind out of you. You looked at your boyfriend with wild eyes, unsure why he was doing this. He slapped you once more and this time you didn't stick around. You were, literally, pounding sand. You ran into the dark night, unsure of where you were going to go.

You needed your brother.

***** 

“They’re down by the beach, I had some late night trainees see if they could find his truck anywhere public they might be,” Maverick said, hanging up his cellphone.

Bradley’s phone began to buzz and he answered it before he could even read the caller ID. 

“Hello?” he asked, frantic.

“Rooster, I just saw your sister come into the Hard Deck about five minutes ago. She was looking for you, man. She’s got some cuts and bruises on her face,” Bobs voice filled the other end of the line, full of concern, “I tried to make it over to her but she left and I couldn’t find her.”

“Bob! You’re the best!” Bradley hung up his phone and grabbed his keys. On the way out to his Bronco he told Maverick the information Bob had relayed to him. 

The drive to the Hard Deck was about ten minutes, and Rooster gripped the wheel like his life depended on it. He was so concerned with finding you, it left the question of what Jared had done to you unanswered. Was Jared looking for you too? Were you in danger? Rooster was so caught up in his thoughts that Mavericks cry of surprise made him jump.

“There she is!” he shouted, pointing you out. Bradley pulled over and his headlights showed in your face. You squinted and prepared to bolt, scared that Jared found you and wanted to kill you or something. 

Then you heard your brother and Maverick call your name, Bradley walking out from behind the bright lights. 

“Bradley!” you sobbed, running into your brother's arms. You hugged him so tight he could take 9Gs of force and say awake. 

“Don’t you ever do that to me again! Oh my god are you hurt?” He pulled you away to look at your face. Bob was right, you were super banged up. “What happened? Did he do this to you? I’m gonna fucking kill him.”

You hugged Bradley again, sobbing loudly, and he just cradled you, rubbing your back and telling you it was all gonna be okay. 

“I’m so sorry Bradley,” you cried, pulling away, “I should have listened to you, the guy is a FREAK!” You hugged your brother again.

He didn’t care whether or not he was right or wrong, but he was right. He wasn’t going to ever vocalize it to you, but he just stood there, appreciating the fact that you were safe in his arms, his baby sister.

*****

“Bradley!” you shouted. 

“Will you hold on just one second!? God you are so impatient!” he complained across the house. 

You sat in front of the TV with the remote in your hands, as Bradley walked in with two bowls of ice cream. You laughed, then looked at him with the most intense deadpan stare that you could muster. 

“Bradley, is the ice cream in your hands, fudge brownie?” you demanded.

“What else would it be?” he asked, concerned.

“Thank God,” you smiled. Bradley shook his head at your antics, handing you your sundae. 

“You forgot my sprinkles, fucker.”

“Get them yourself.”

“If I ask for sprinkles, I expect sprinkles Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw!”

“Just press play.”

“Okay.”

[solemnly-mischievous]

"you are naked aren't you" with Sirius? I'm curious with how you're going to use this prompt lol

thanks for the req anon! hope you like it :)

Contains: Banter, dirty talk, d/s undertones, (kind of) orgasm denial

Word count: 754

-----

There's a joke that goes, "Is it just me, or do people only start texting you when you're jerking off?".

Yeah. No, that's probably a universal experience. And you're not exempt from it in the least.

"Jesus Christ," you swear as your phone buzzes with a call for the third time. You're laying on your bed, the blinds drawn and door locked, at four in the afternoon, naked and freshly out of the shower.

And you have a finger buried inside of you, your head thrown back against the pillows as you fuck yourself slowly.

Your thumb is rubbing your clit slowly but surely, working your way up to a well-deserved orgasm after what's already been half an hour of build-up.

You're well aware that four in the afternoon isn't an ideal time to get off... but, to be fair, it's been a really fucking stressful week. This is the first time all week that you've had time to yourself, actually.

So when your phone rings for the third time, you're really pissed.

Without looking at the caller ID, you grab your phone—with your free hand, of course—and pick up angrily. "What. What."

"Oh, er, bad time?" Sirius' amused voice drifts from the other side of the line, and you freeze.

"Sirius!" You can't help but grin, your boyfriend's voice a welcome thing at any time.

"Afternoon, sweetheart. Care to share why you sound bloody murderous?" Belatedly, you realize you're still touching yourself, and you remember why you're upset.

"Oh. Yeah. I'm... busy," you say, which is a terrible excuse. "You better have called me for a good reason."

Sirius huffs out a laugh. "What? Can't it be that I just missed you?"

And then your phone vibrates with the request for a video call, and you could almost throw it, cursing Sirius for being someone who actually uses the video call function. Instead, you settle for declining the request and managing a, "I can't video call right now."

"What? Why? You're home, aren't you?" From his end, you can hear that he's sure not—he sounds like he's making his way home on public transport. Even more the reason why you can't video call.

"Yeah, but..." Excuse. Now. "I'm cooking."

"You can pop your head in and say hi, can't you?" Another request. You decline it, frustrated and still annoyingly turned on, because Sirius' voice is not helping.

"Sirius," you complain.

"Sweetheart," he mocks right back. "What? Are you naked or something?"

You take too long to splutter and come up with an answer, and you hear him draw in an intake of breath. When Sirius speaks again, his voice is lower, clearly trying to not be overheard by anyone else on his bus or the Underground.

"You're naked, aren't you?"

Sighing, you concede. "Yeah."

"Why are you naked, baby?" Sirius sounds knowing. Of course he does.

"I'm touching myself, okay?" you say, exasperated. Without another word, Sirius hangs up the phone, and you blink in surprise.

But then your phone lights up with a text from Sirius, and you tap it hurriedly.

Sorry, hung up because this old lady just shot me a dirty look. I think she overheard, he texts, and you can't help but snicker.

For the best, though.

What does he mean by that? You start typing, but then he sends a third text.

Can't have the rest of the Underground hearing what I want to do to you.

Oh. Oh.

I'll be home in ten minutes. You better not get dressed. Gonna fucking ruin you. It's been a long week for us both, hasn't it?

You don't know how to respond—you're torn between Sure has and Oh bloody hell please fuck me, but you settle with a very expressive Yes.

What's that now? and you can practically hear his smirk, know just how bloody smug he gets when you start getting needy for him.

Yes, please, fuck me, you plead. Your fingers almost have a mind of their own—you start pressing in and out of yourself, imagining it was Sirius doing it to you, prepping you for his cock.

Aw, begging already. That's cute. We haven't even started yet.

I'll be home in five.

Five minutes. You could wait five minutes. Your fingers quicken, as if in anticipation, and you whimper to yourself as you start getting close to the edge. You were already close with your earlier touches—now, you feel like you're a harsh thrust away from coming.

Your phone buzzes. Sirius is typing.

And, sweetheart?

Hands off.

[flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash]

Irresistible Danger - Part 57

Synopsis:  After being caught outside the compound on your own, Negan decides to punish you in the best way possible ;)

Words: 3,388

Warnings: nsfw, smut, swearing

ID Masterlist can be found HERE

Masterlist of all my fics can be found HERE 

Author’s Note: We’re interrupting the emotions and angst for a healthy dose of smut in this one. 

A Wonderfully Well-F*cked Morning

You drifted to consciousness on a wave of pleasure, the sensations happening below your waist causing you to automatically arch your back and reach down. When your fingers came in contact with thick, soft hair at the same time that a wet tongue hit your clit, your brain finally decided to come online. Eyes opening in surprise, you looked down and found the breathtaking visual of Negan’s gorgeous face buried between your thighs.

Holy shit, what a way to start the day. 

Glancing up, his mouth curled in a soul-stealing grin at the sight of you awake and watching. His “mornin’ doll” was spoken directly to your soaked cunt, the rumbled vibration of the words making you give a small moan and open your thighs wider, so he could do as he wished.

And, apparently, what he wished was to drive you absolutely mad with desire. The distant and withdrawn Negan of last night was gone, and in his place was the playful and passionate man before you. He teased with soft kisses along the crease at the top of your thigh and lazy laps of his tongue that just barely grazed where you needed them. When you tried to lift your hips in search of more friction, his large hands pinned them to the mattress. 

It wasn’t long before you had a deathgrip on his hair, thighs trembling, and even the muscles in your stomach starting to quiver. And yet still he continued, the devilish gleam in his eyes when he glanced up at you while gently sucking your clit almost enough to send you over the edge, until he backed off and went back to nipping at your inner thighs instead. 

You were just about to beg, plead, and promise whatever he wanted, including your soul, when a muffled knocking sound broke through the top layer of hazy desire shrouding you. Negan ignored the noise, continuing with his delicious torture so that you almost instantly forgot the sound had ever happened. But then it came again a few seconds later, this time loud and sharp...and right outside the bedroom door. 

Letting go of his hair and jolting up onto your elbows, you looked down at Negan with wide eyes. He had finally lifted his head from your pussy, the sight of his lips glistening with your wetness causing a soft moan to escape that you prayed whoever was at the door didn’t hear. 

“Fucking leave!” he yelled in that no-nonsense tone that both terrified and yet also made an extra trickle of wetness run down your thigh. 

The voice that responded was muffled through the door, but still unmistakably Simon. “Sorry, boss, but there’s a situation that needs your urgent attention in meeting room C.” 

Cursing harshly, Negan dropped his forehead to your lower stomach for a few seconds before lifting his head and yelling back, “I’ll fucking be there in 5!”

You stared in the direction of the office and listened for a few seconds until the unmistakable sound of Simon banging the door closed sounded (perhaps a bit louder than needed, as if he was letting you know that he was gone). You turned back to Negan, who now had a devious smirk on his face as he looked up at you.

Giving a doubtful expression, you said, “Only five minutes?” 

“Oh, doll,” he chuckled, head ducking down so the rest was muffled against your wet flesh. “That’s plenty of time.”

It was then that you realized just how much he had been toying with you before, as his demeanor instantly changed from playful to intense, and he set to work on your cunt. He knew just where to nip and lick, and when he latched onto your clit and sucked with the perfect amount of pressure, you shot off like a rocket, coming in less than a minute from when Simon had left. 

Still panting and sprawled across the mattress, you watched dazedly as he got up and went to his armoire for clothes to get dressed. He winced when tucking his erection into the boxer briefs and dark grey pants, and the bulge made your mouth water.

“What about you?” you asked with a nod in his cock’s direction. 

Pulling on his boots, he then straightened and trailed desire-bright eyes over your sated form spread out on his bed. “I thought I already made that clear, doll,” he quipped.

Unsure if it was the post-orgasm haze making you so dense or if he was purposely being vague, you asked, “What’s that?”

Walking around the side of the bed fully dressed, while you lay totally naked with thighs still spread and naked chest heaving, he ran a warm, calloused hand down over your throat and the tips of your breasts before answering. 

“That this relationship is about more than me getting my fucking rocks off.”

His hand moved lower, between your thighs, and he watched as if mesmerized at how you shuddered and arched into the feel of his touch on your still-sensitive flesh. “However, that being said-” he backed up a step and pointed at you with a stern look on his face, “-don’t fucking move from that bed until I get back.” 

He then tucked his tongue into his cheek, gave a playful wink, and was gone. Staring up at the ceiling, you figured this was one order you’d gladly follow, seeing as how your muscles wouldn’t be able to function properly enough to help you stand, anyways. It wasn’t until a couple minutes after he was gone that you sat straight up on the bed at the remembrance of his earlier words. 

He had called it a relationship!

~  ~  ~  ~  ~

Forty-five minutes later and you, unsurprisingly, were in fact not able to follow his order, after all. Which shouldn’t be a surprise because, well, it was you we were talking about here, and when did you ever listen? 

You had tried though, really you had. After Negan left, and your breathing and heart rate had returned to normal, you sat up against the headboard to wait. Your eyes landed on a book that was open facedown on his bedside table, and the parallel to your own reading habits made you smile. Picking it up, you saw that it was some sort of psychological thriller. Making a note of what page it had been opened to, you huddled down into the plush mattress, the soft black headboard at your back, and started reading from the beginning. 

However, when the black and grey wall clock near the door ticked by almost an hour that he had been gone, you put the book down and sighed in annoyance. Whatever the emergency meeting had been about, it looked as though it might take a while, and you didn’t enjoy the thought of sitting here all morning and afternoon waiting, as if at his beck and call. Your brain also unhelpfully threw out the reminder of your previous plan not to have sex with Negan until a serious conversation was had about that damned padlocked box of unanswered questions. The subconscious, exasperated with the brain pulling this bullshit so early in the morning, yelled at it to please shut the hell up. 

Fuck it, you can at least freshen up a bit before he gets back, you thought while tossing off the sheet and standing from the bed. Stretching pleasantly sore muscles, you wandered over to the large armoire and tugged open one of the drawers. Smiling at how neatly the clothes inside were folded, you selected a moss green shirt and pulled it over your head. It was much baggier than his usual style, and you had never seen him wear it before, making you wonder if he ever got a chance to take off his leader armor and just sit around relaxing the day away in baggy sweats with a good book. Probably not, seeing as how he couldn’t even enjoy a perfectly delightful you-flavored breakfast without being interrupted. 

Heading into the bathroom to relieve your bladder and then wash your hands and face, you looked in the large mirror. Finger-combing hair that had seen better days, you then opened up some of the drawers under the sink that you hadn’t checked yet, mostly out of nosey curiosity. Finding one at the bottom that was stocked full of extra bars of soap, toothpaste, and still-packaged toothbrushes, you let out a tiny whoop of joy. Jackpot!

Opening a green and white toothbrush, you grabbed the already opened toothpaste that was on the countertop and squeezed a dollop onto the brush. Giving a sigh of happiness at the clean, minty taste, you weren’t even worried about Negan being upset you had stolen one of his unopened brushes. Especially since you’d have fresh breath when he crawled back in the bed with you and-

That fantasy died a quick death when the reflection of the man himself stepped into view while you were mid-brush. Locking eyes with him in the mirror, you saw a flicker of something in his expression as he took you in, standing there in his shirt and brushing your teeth with his personal supplies. 

“I thought I told you to be in the fucking bed when I got back,” he said, but his voice didn’t have the extra little growl that signified he was truly pissed. In fact, he almost sounded amused. 

Before you could even remove the toothbrush to respond, he stepped up behind you so that his front was pressed into your back. “Nevermind, doll,” he drawled while still holding your gaze in the mirror. “This’ll work too.”

You almost choked on toothpaste from gasping at the feel of his large, rough hands running up under the hem of the shirt and over your bare hips. Quickly leaning down to spit out the paste into the sink, you turned on the water and used a cupped hand to rinse out your mouth as he continued rubbing his palms along your torso and down over the outside of your thighs. When you put the toothbrush down and straightened, his mouth immediately attacked the back of your neck, sucking and nipping lightly. His hands moved further up under the shirt to cup your breasts, and his deft fingers pinched and twisted sensitive nipples at the same time that he ground his hips against your bare ass, letting you feel the ridge of his erection through the rough fabric of the pants.

You moaned softly and pressed back into him, almost overwhelmed by how quickly he had barged in and taken control of your body’s reaction. Any thoughts of self-doubt or questions of where you stood with him temporarily flew out the window in the face of the onslaught of intense and thorough possession he was directing your way. 

Unlike when you first woke up this morning, no part of him was teasing or going slow this time around. He quickly pulled the baggy shirt up over your head, and the sight of you totally bare made a groan punch from his chest. 

He whipped his own shirt and pants off in a quick flurry of movement before leaning in so that his warm chest was pressed into your back as he opened one of the drawers at your hip and pulled out a condom. 

Wasting no time, he opened it and rolled it down the swollen cock pressing into the small of your back. When he bent his knees to line up with your entrance, you assisted by hiking a knee up on the edge of the countertop, presenting yourself to him in a way that made him pause for a moment, as if in awe, before plunging inside you with a fierce thrust and strangled growl against the back of your neck. 

You looked up and were instantly transfixed by the sight in the mirror. Negan’s tattooed, leanly muscled form towered over yours, his rough edges and possessive thrusts juxtaposed against your softer curves and arching form. 

You watched his reflection as he gripped your hips and looked down between your bodies to watch himself fuck you, the sight making you moan and clench around his cock. His gaze lifted, amber eyes locking on yours in the mirror. 

One of his hands left your hip, trailing hungrily around the front of your body and up over your stomach and breasts before wrapping long fingers around the front of your throat. The grip was light, but the ruthless ownership behind both it and his pumping hips made your eyes flutter closed in ecstasy. 

He leaned in over you, breath coming in hot strikes against the side of your throat. “You like this, don’t you, pretty girl? Like being all. Fucking. Mine.”

The last words were each punctuated by a harsh thrust, making you cry out and open lust-filled eyes. His face was there beside your own, jaw clenched as he watched your reflection in the mirror with a fierce, almost pained expression. He let out a little snarl before turning his mouth to nip at the curve of your shoulder, and that combined with his grip at your throat and heavy, thick cock fucking you against the counter all combined to throw you into an orgasm without warning. He groaned as you shuddered and clenched in his hold, his gravel over sandpaper voice in your ear. 

“Yes, milk my fucking cock.”

Coming down off the wave of pleasure, you realized that his pace hadn’t slowed down, that he hadn’t finished yet. You lowered the leg propped up on the counter, needing both feet braced against the cool, tiled floor to keep your shaky body steady. 

Your gaze dropped, taking in the reflection of what was happening between your thighs. Both his cock and the inside of your thighs glistened with a coating of your release, and he felt even bigger inside of you, now that your walls were a little swollen and tender from both the friction of his cock and your recent orgasm. Right when his movements became almost too overwhelming against your oversensitized cunt, and you were about to ask for a break, he paused his thrusts and removed the hand from around your throat. 

Your thought that he was granting you a reprieve was instantly proven wrong when he gave a growled warning of, “Brace your arms on the sink,” right before his forearms hooked down under both your knees and lifted your entire lower body off the ground. Since the action pushed you forward, your body had no choice but to do as he said, forearms holding the weight of your upper body against the surface of the sink while your lower half hung suspended at the perfect height for his cock. 

He resumed his quick pace, fucking into you relentlessly. And, surprisingly, instead of becoming too much, the sensations pulled back from borderline painful and started to feel pleasurable again. Very pleasurable. 

Your whimper caused him to give a low moan in response, and his voice came through gritted teeth. “That’s it, doll. Fucking come for me again.” 

Trying to find your voice, you wanted to say that you weren’t sure if that was possible, that coming again so soon wasn’t likely. Instead, the words choked in your throat when he bent down and licked up your spine before sucking roughly on the skin of your back. He then ground his cock into you so hard that your pelvis pushed against the edge of the counter, the hard surface rubbing over your clit in exactly the right way needed to send your body spasming into a second orgasm.

You lost yourself in pleasure that had no beginning and no end, just endless heavy waves of bliss. Dimly, you heard him give a groan of completion as he gave a few sharp, hard thrusts, and then his body went still. He allowed your legs to lower to the tiled floor, and thank god for being braced on the countertop, otherwise you would’ve crumpled in a quivery heap at his feet. 

You took in the reflection of both you and Negan’s sex-dazed expressions, skin flushed and dewy with sweat despite the cool bathroom. A satisfied smile curved his lips, and you watched in the mirror as he bent down and kissed the curve where your neck met shoulder, the scratch of his beard rising goosebumps to the already sensitive flesh. He hummed happily against your skin, and you wished that the two of you could stay in this intimate bubble forever. That no outside intruders or internal thoughts could stand in the way of feeling like this with him every single day. 

As if he were thinking something similar, he ran a warm hand down over the curve of your hip and said in a sexy, husky voice, “Now that is a perfect fucking way to finish off the morning.” 

Unable to help a dreamy smile in return, you were finally able to fully stand up from the counter without fear of your legs giving out. Turning in his hold, you twined arms up around his neck and tugged him down for a proper kiss involving lips and tongues and even a hint of teeth. 

You pulled away after a few long moments, and offered, “What are your plans for today?”

Biting his lip and giving one of his signature cheeky grins, he replied, “I have to go over some new outpost security measures with Simon this afternoon. However…” his hands cupped your ass and kneaded possessively, “my evening is all fucking yours.”

Lord, but you liked the sound of that. Standing on tiptoe and placing another, softer kiss to his lips, you suggested, “How about I bring us dinner around 7:30?”

“I’ll be waiting,” he replied with one last squeeze of his hands before he stepped away to dispose of the condom and gather both your clothes off the tiles. 

The men had brought back some freshly butchered deer meat from the supply run, and Ben had been excited to try making stew with both it and vegetables from the garden. Thinking of Ben was also a reminder that you had promised to hang out with him today. You were very curious to hear details about what was going on with him and Simon, not to mention needing a friend to talk through some of your own worries regarding Negan.

Pulling the baggy green shirt back on, you preceded him into the bedroom and grabbed your jeans from where they had been discarded on the floor last night. You didn’t want to return his shirt, so tucked it into the jeans to hide the obviously ill-fitting length of it before pulling on your sneakers. Turning, you found an also fully-dressed Negan watching you. His gaze took in the outfit with an expression that was difficult to decipher, but seemed somewhere between appreciative and smug at the sight of you in his shirt. 

Struggling not to roll your eyes or make a comment about “males and their strange possessiveness”, you walked out of the bedroom with him following behind. Stopping at the closed office door, you turned and looked up at him, unable to resist the urge to reach up and run your fingers down over his bearded cheek. He bent and gave you one final kiss in return, then opened the door and watched you leave. 

You weren’t able to contain the happy grin tipping up the corners of your mouth. Not even the sudden appearance of the brain, who was dragging the padlocked box of questions, could dim your mood. The subconscious strode happily at your side, but as the brain fell more and more behind, struggling to keep up with the heavy metal box, it turned with a sigh and went back to help. 

I know. I know! We’ll have a conversation with him tonight; open up the box and air out some of those unanswered questions. But for right now, we’re going to bask in the afterglow of such a wonderfully well-fucked morning. 

The brain and subconscious didn’t argue, just huffed and puffed as they worked together to finally pick the box up off the ground. Balancing the heavy weight between them, they gave each other exasperated looks, then hurried down the hall after you.

~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~

[bbyheedeungie]

You have me now | Cat hybrid!Jungwon AU

Pairings: Jungwon x Reader ft. Bang Yedam

Genre: fluff, angst

Warnings: depression, slight nudity

Word count: 1.7k

Synopsis: Going through some tough times in your life, you come across someone who is struggling as well. And now you never thought you'd find solace in your cat, Jungwon.

Author's note: this is my longest fic yet! I got very emotional with this one. Btw, thank you for all your support! 😭❤may all of you have someone to depend on in your darkest times.

Dark gray clouds cloaked the skies, with vicious thunders warning everyone that heavy rain threatened to pour mercilessly. It was 5pm, your last class had ended long ago but your teacher had to make you stay to discuss important matters with you; your failing grades in his class. And to make matters worse, your boyfriend had just broken up with you through a text.

As you make your way through the gates of the school, you groaned as the cold rain engulfed you within seconds.

"Guess this day can't get any better huh."

You make a sprint for it, not caring about getting your socks muddy anymore as your arms make a futile attempt to shield yourself from the rain.

Amidst the harsh cry of downpour, you were stopped at your tracks by the sound of weeping meows, not too far away. And there it was, under a tree was a small kitty crying in sorrow as the cardboard box which was probably supposed to be its home melted away in the rain.

You've never been one to keep pets, but you've always had a soft heart when it came to animals that is why without hesitation, you scooped up the poor kitty in your arms and ran home.

You were dripping wet, shivering as the warmth of your apartment slowly welcomed you and your companion. You settled the kitty on a rug as you took a warm shower and changed into an oversized shirt and sweatpants. When you finished drying yourself, you notice that the kitty barely moved an inch from how you left it, still shivering.

"Hey kitty, you'll be okay now." you cooed and stroked its wet head and ears. It looked at you cautiously yet gratifyingly and you were shocked at how much emotion its eyes held. Almost like a human.

"That's kinda odd. But you have very beautiful eyes though." you smiled.

Never having owned a pet, you were honestly unsure on how to take care of it. And so, together with your wet books, you blow dried the kitty with your hair drier. You giggled as the kitty flinched lightly and its fur stood up, probably new to the sound and sensation of your hair drier. Your laugh fades as your eyes train upon the scars all over the poor kitty's body. You could have easily missed it because of its dark fur but as it dried more, it became more visible. You knew battle scars when you see them. As your fingertips lightly grazed your scarred wrists, your heart can't help but ache for the small cat.

"I won't let anyone or anything hurt you again. I'll take care of you from now on, okay? You can depend on me." you assured and it meowed in response, tilting it's head sideways as it blinked at you a few times.

At dinner time, you rummaged all of your cabinets for anything you can feed to the small cat. The rain hadn't ceased yet, withholding you from going outside to buy proper cat food. For the time being, you decided that a can of tuna will suffice.

You placed the bowl of food in front of the kitty, taking a few seconds before it cautiously moves closer to it to sniff it.

"Well go on, don't be picky." You raised your eyebrows, placing your hands on your hips. The kitty meowed and did that thing again, tilting its head and blinking at you before dipping it's head into the food. It only took a few minutes for it to finish eating and you felt like a proud momma. Poor little thing must have been very hungry.

That night you decided to let the kitty sleep above your blanket, settling into its place at the foot of your bed. Suddenly, the sound of raindrops have never felt so calming as you slept soundly that night for the first time in weeks.

The morning welcomed you with bright sunshine beaming through your windows. You hummed in content as you snuggle closer to the warm body that cradled yours.

Your eyes shot wide open at the sudden realization and shoved the person away from you. You stumble out of your own bed and stare at the gorgeous boy that blinked at you confusedly.

"Come back to bed, I want to sleep some more." He whined sleepily, tilting his head as he blinked at you. Why did it seem familiar to you?

You combed through your hair profusely, trying to stay calm as you rake your thoughts on what had happened last night. Did you got drunk and brought a boy over? Your blanket covered his body up to his neck but you were sure he wasn't wearing anything underneath, remembering how warm his skin felt on yours. You slap yourself internally and took a deep breath.

"Umm hey, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave. Last night was a mistake." you said awkwardly, fiddling with your fingers. He blinked at you, seemingly hurt.

"I'm sorry, did I do something wrong?" He said sadly and sat up and attempted to reach out to you, your blanket sliding down to his hips. His entire torso was now in full display and you quickly stopped him.

"No, stay! Don't come near." You shrieked as you look away with your hands covering your eyes.

"Do you regret taking me in last night?" He asked bitterly, looking down to his hands.

"What, what do you mean?" You remove your hands from your eyes and glance at him, your eyes quickly falling to his scarred torso.

Just like—

"Oh! Did my human form freak you out? I'm so sorry, I'll change back."

My cat. Under the covers, was the kitty you took in.

To say that your morning was eventful was an understatement. You told him to change back to his human form and had him wear one of your oversized shirts in which he happily sniffed before putting on, and a pair of shorts that your brother had left when he last visited you. And now both of you are seated at the kitchen table, eating kimchi fried rice and eggrolls for breakfast. It has been 5 minutes of awkward silence when he decided to clear his throat.

"I guess I should introduce myself." He said shyly, his eyes glued to his plate.

"Please do." you nod, trying to stay composed.

"I'm Jungwon, and I'm a hybrid."

You take in a shaky breath. A freaking hybrid.

"I grew up in the animal shelter, where I was separated from my parents since birth. I don't know if they're hybrids as well." his fists clenched under the table and he took a deep breath, his eyes closed tightly. You quickly notice his discomfort.

"Hey, it's okay—"

"At the animal shelter, they didn't treat me well. The workers often lashed out me and hurt me when I couldn't obey them. And I didn't know why but I had this instinct of not to show them my human form. Honestly, this has been my longest time as a human." Jungwon said ruefully, ashamed to look at you in the eyes.

"When I was old enough, I escaped and ran away. I swore to myself that I am never going back to that place. And then I ended up under that tree, drenched and starving and you appeared and you—" he choked, his tears trickled down his face and you quickly sat up fron your seat, rushed to his side and engulfed him in a hug.

"Hey, you don't have to be alone anymore. You have me now, okay?" You said as you stroked his hair comfortingly.

Once he'd calmed down, you introduced yourself as well.

"I'm Y/N. I guess I haven't told you my name last night." you chuckled. He shook his head.

"No, but I kinda peeked at your school ID while you showered. Sorry about that." He said sheepishly, scratching the back of his head.

"No need to be sorry for." you giggled.

Your conversation was abruptly cut off by the sound of your doorbell.

"Huh, who could that be?" you muttered to yourself, leaving Jungwon at the kitchen.

You opened the door, revealing your ex-boyfriend, Yedam.

"Hey, I was worried when you didn't text me back." You scoffed at him.

"Why would you even worry about me? Didn't you dump me?" you couldn't help it but you were angry at him. How he treated you so lowly that he thought you didn't even deserve a proper break up, that just a text message will be enough.

"Hey, you can't blame me. Y/N, your grades were failing, you were diagnosed with depression. You were falling apart—"

"And you decided I'm too much for you to handle. Yedam, leave." Your voice broke, your tears threatening to fall.

"Y/N wait—"

"Y/N asked you to leave." a voice spoke behind you, his hand reaching out to rub your back comfortingly. I'm here Y/N, I'm right here for you.

He didn't like the way the man you were talking to was making you feel. He could sense how upset you are and it pisses him off.

"Who are you? Back off man, this is none of your business." Yedam tried to brush him off.

"Any business of Y/N is my business too. Y/N, is this guy troubling you?" He asked you, his beautiful cat-like eyes look at you with tenderness and then shoots menacing glares at Yedam.

"No, not all." You smiled at Jungwon, and Yedam saw it. How your eyes sparkled as you look at the boy. You were happy. And when your eyes flew back to him, it was empty.

"Yedam, we're over. This conversation is over too. I hope you live a good life and thank you for being part of mine. That is all." You stated, feeling proud of yourself for handling things so well. For being strong.

"Bye then." Yedam said, turning his back to the both of you not before shooting Jungwon a look and muttering "Punk."

Once you close the door, you let your tears stream freely. Jungwon worriedly wipes away those tears.

"That human makes me want to claw his eyes out. I hate him for making you hurt like this." he scowled. You only smiled at him.

"Y/N, you don't have to be alone anymore. You have me now, okay?" he said, repeating your own words.

[hangovercurse]

The Things We Can’t Tell Pete About iv

You approach Pete about your situation and deal with the aftermath.

Colson Baker X Reader

Warnings: Angst, cursing

Word Count: 1380

| i | ii | iii | v |

You texted Pete later that night, telling him to meet you for lunch the next day. He obliges, meeting you at your favorite Staten Island diner. The conversation started easy enough, talking about work, your mom, light stuff.

But then you shifted the conversation to what you really needed to talk to your brother about, Colson.

“So, Petey, dude, my favorite brother.” You started, a smile on your face. He raised an eyebrow at you, knowing you were up to something.

“I am your only brother, Y/N.” He muttered, but let you continue.

“So, just say, hypothetically, one of your lovely sisters, your favorite sister, actually, went on a date with someone you knew.” You started, “someone that you considered a friend, maybe even a good friend.” Pete’s expression darkened, his eyes squinting at you, but you continued. “And like, she really, really likes this guy and he likes her. How would you react?”

You knew it wasn’t the most subtle way to go about the situation, but Pete would figure you out if you went about it any other way. Might as well rip off the band-aid.

“Are you fucking serious, Y/N?” His tone was dark, angry. You weren’t expecting him to be happy, but you weren’t expecting him to be this angry either. His tone actually scared you.

You moved back in your chair, taking in a sharp breath. “I’m not saying it happened, I’m just asking how you would react.”

You could see the clench in Pete’s jaw, and you swallowed deeply. “I told you, I don’t want you getting involved with any of my friends.” You nodded, hoping he would end there, but he didn’t. “I’m serious, my friends are off limits. If you sleep with any of them, I will never forgive you.”

“Okay, got it.” You mumbled, regretting everything immediately.

Pete sighed, getting up from the table and throwing down cash to cover the meals. “I can’t believe you would even think about it. How fucking selfish can you get?”

Your mouth dropped, shocked at his accusation. “Oh, fuck off, Pete. Don’t talk to me about being selfish you prick.” You stood up too, grabbing your jacket and purse. “I can do whatever I want.”

He scoffed, “sure you can, but don’t expect me to take care of you when your heart gets broken. I can’t wait to hear you tell me I’m right.”

You shook your head angrily, “Whatever, forget I even asked. I forgot you’re an unreasonable, unstable asshole.” You pushed past him and walked out the door of the diner, heading to your apartment.

You knew it was wrong of you to use his mental illness against him, but he has no right to say who you can and can’t date.

Do you regret what you said? Yes. Will you apologize? Absolutely not.

When you got to your apartment you texted Colson.

Call me when u can.

Within moments his caller ID appeared on your phone screen.

“Hey, what’s up?” He asked, his voice grainy through the phone.

You sighed, sitting down on your couch, “Pete and I got in a fight. He’s being an unreasonable asshole and I just can’t deal with it right now.”

Colson hummed sadly, letting out a breath of air. “Do you want me to come over?”

You smiled at his suggestion, “I mean if you’re offering…” you trailed off, raising your voice at the end of your sentence.

He chuckled through the phone, “I’ll be there in 10, princess.”

You bit your lip, excited at the thought of you and Colson being alone in your apartment… together. You cleaned up your apartment a little bit and freshened yourself up. When you heard the knock on your door, your heart fluttered. You skipped over and opened the door to reveal the blond beauty that constantly occupied your mind.

“Hey.” You said quietly, grabbing his hand and pulling him into your apartment.

He towered over you, hands in yours. “Hi.” He whispered, eyes staring straight into your soul. “You are much happier than I thought you’d be.” He chuckled, and it was the most beautiful sound you’d ever heard.

You shrugged, closing the door, and pulling him towards the couch. “I was upset at first, but now I’m just kind of pissed off at him. It’s whatever though, all I care about is that you’re here.” You smiled, leaning up and pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

He gladly kissed you back, laughing against your lips as you sat down on the couch, pulling him down with you. “What did he say?” Colson asked and you rolled your eyes.

“He just said I was being selfish and shit. He blew it way out of proportion. I mean, what’s wrong with us being happy?” You asked, a small pout on your lips.

Colson’s expression went from giddy to serious, concern in his eyes. “Y/N I don’t want to be the reason you and Pete fight, I told you that.”

You scoffed, “you’re not. Pete and I are fighting because he’s being a stubborn asshole who can’t accept that there’s a world outside of him.”

Colson frowned, “but all this came from you asking if he’d approve of our relationship?”

“Yeah, but that’s not the point.” You sighed, hands running up and down his arms.

He shook his head, “that is the point. I don’t wanna do this if it means you and Pete are mad at each other.”

Your tone betrayed your emotions that you were trying to hide. “Can you stop saying that shit? It’s like you’re looking for a fucking way out of this.” You stood up, letting out a huff. You turned to face away from him, feeling tears coming to your eyes. You did not want to cry in front of him.

He stood up, wrapping his arms around you. “Y/N, listen to me.” He paused, looking for a sign that you were doing so. You just turned your head down, hiding the emotions on your face. “I’m not looking for a way out, okay? I want this. Like really fucking want this. Bu-“

You cut him off, “just end the sentence there. You don’t need a but. You want this, I want this. It shouldn’t matter what anyone else thinks.”

He sighed, continuing with his original spiel, “But, I refuse to be the reason you and Pete get in a fight. He talks to me about how close you two are all the time. I know you’re frustrated right now, but he’s your brother. I’m just some dude. As much as I hate to admit it, there’s plenty of me’s lined up for you.”

You rolled your eyes, trying to wiggle out of his grasp but he kept his arms tight around you. “You’re gorgeous, you’ll find tons of great guys, but you only get one brother. Okay?”

You turned around to face him, the tears visible in your eyes making his heart crack. “I don’t want someone else; I want you.” You whined. You realized you were acting stupid; you’d only been on one date with him. But it felt so right, and you hated thinking that something great was gonna be taken from you and there was nothing you could do about it.

Colson smiled sadly at you, forehead pressing against yours. “I hate this.” He mumbled and you nodded in agreement. “But I don’t think we can do this.”

A tear fell from your eye. Colson reached up to wipe it away but you stepped away from him, out of reach. “This isn’t fair.” You muttered, sniffling. “I finally find something good, for once, and he rips it from me before I can even give it a chance.”

Colson shook his head, stepping towards you, “no, this isn’t Pete’s fault.” He whispered. “This is on me, okay? I’m ending it.”

You turned away from him, embarrassment covering you like a blanket. “I’m the one walking away. I’m calling this quits, not Pete. “

You bit your lip as you heard him walk towards the door. He paused, hand on the handle, looking back at you. “You’re giving up.” You mumbled, just loud enough for him to hear it.

“Yeah, I am.” He said before turning the handle and leaving.

[hawks-supremacy]

Quiet Meetings

Summary: Bokuto want you to take the job as the new team manager for the MSBY Black Jackals, but you’re a little hesitant to take his offer because there’s one problem. You’re deaf.

Warnings: Panic attack

Pairing: Sakusa x Deaf!Reader

Genre: Angst? Fluff

Word Count: 2.8k

Bold = Written    Italics = signed

Arriving at the address that Bokuto sent you, you made your way to the front desk where they smiled and handed you your visitors ID and went back to the call they were on. You sent a text to Bokuto saying that you were here, but you knew he wouldn’t get it until after his team was done with practice or took a break. Having been here before you made your way to the private waiting room for staff and friends.

You were visiting Bokuto on your one day off because he had been trying to convince you to be the new team manager for the MSBY Black Jackals. While you appreciated the thought you weren’t sure if you could handle being a manager to a volleyball team. Sure you managed the Fukurodani Academy’s volleyball team, but that was different. Everyone knew you there so nothing needed to be learned or taught. Your current job sucked but it was convenient for you because you didn’t need to talk to anyone and it was just computer work. Finding a good place to work while being deaf was tough, not everyone knew JSL or could be bothered to learn. Which is why you had been hesitant to agree to Bokuto’s new found job offer after the last manager suddenly quit. 

You had been waiting for a half an hour before deciding to get up and get something to drink from the mini fridge in the corner of the room you were currently sitting in. Turning around after acquiring your beverage you jumped back at the sudden appearance of one of Bokuto’s teammates. Going through your head of all of Bokuto’s teammates and what he’s said about them you determined this one was Sakusa Kiyoomi. He was tall enough that you had to look up if you had wanted to speak to him, he had a curly mop of hair with two moles resting above his eyebrow, and if that didn’t give it away he was wearing a mask as well. You had remembered Bokuto mentioning he was “scared of germs”. While you weren’t 100% deaf you still couldn’t hear fully unless the person was shoulder to shoulder with you or shouting. Even then you still had to put all your focus on hearing who was talking to you or if just sounded muffled. Sakusa wearing a mask didn’t help and you didn’t quite know how to get out of this interaction.

You realized he was talking to you when he waved a hand in front of you to gain your attention. While you couldn’t see half of his face you could tell by his eyes that he was pissed and probably not talking cheerfully to you. You started panicking desperately hoping for something to get you out of this situation or for subtitles to miraculously appear next to him so you could understand why he was mad. Starting to hyperventilate you tried to turn and leave the room to hopefully find your friend but he just stepped in front of you still, what you assumed to be, yelling. Too busy trying to calm down your frantic breathing you hadn’t noticed Bokuto coming up to you and Sakusa while yelling his usual greeting. 

You nearly jumped out of your skin when you felt Bokuto touch your arm. You turned your head to give him a panicked look and you could tell he felt bad for scaring you as he pulled you into a hug and started to rub small circles into your back to calm you down. After your breathing had returned to it’s normal pace you stepped out of the hug. You quickly hid behind Bokuto embarrassed when you noticed his teammates had been there and watched the whole thing. As you rested your forehead on his back you could tell he was talking to his teammates due to the vibrations of his back.

As Bo moved you presumably to formally introduce you to everyone you moved with him still not wanting to be seen. Bo reached behind him and grabbed your wrist to move you to the side of him as he started to introduce you to his friends. While he was telling everyone about you, you looked around trying to match descriptions and names to faces. The shorter one with orange hair was Hinata, you briefly remember meeting him back in your first year during a training camp. You think the taller one with faux blond hair was named Atsumu. Then lastly there was Sakusa and you had already met him. After guessing who everyone was in your head you realized that Bo had stopped talking and Atsuma and Hinata were both talking to you. 

You took a small step back and shyly looked at Bokuto. You watched as he smacked his own forehead and said something to the small group in front of you.  As you watched the faces of realization sweep across all three faces you made an educated guess and assumed that he told them about your hearing or rather lack thereof. You gave everyone a small smile as you waved and turned to Bokuto.

What did you tell them? You signed, slower than you normally would since Bokuto was still learning despite being friends for so long. You were younger than Bokuto and Akaashi but your moms were all friends so you grew up together. Bokuto was still getting the hang of some of the difficult signs and still confuses some of the similar ones, but it was the thought that counts. You told him numerous times you didn’t mind texting or writing everything on the small white board you usually carry in your backpack. He insists it’s just faster if he learns to sign as well.

I told them that you were deaf so you couldn’t understand them. You giggled slightly as he struggled with some of the words. Did you think about being our manager yet? You shrugged as you looked at your shoes. 

The idea itself seemed great and you wouldn’t mind getting to hang out with one of your best friends more than you already do. But you couldn’t help but be embarrassed that you can’t talk to the team like a normal manager would be able to. You don’t want to be a burden on anyone already feeling that way in your own family, you wouldn’t want to feel that way with strangers too. 

Feeling a tap on your shoulder you looked up at Bokuto, You aren’t a burden stop thinking like that. Of course he knew what you were thinking he wasn’t your best friend for nothing. Please just a trial run for at least a month. There’s no games until next month so you would just help at training. You sighed as you nodded, giving in. You smiled as he picked you up and spun you before setting you down and telling the rest of the team that you were going to do a trial run for being the new manager.

You pulled on Bo’s sleeve signing that you can’t start until next week so you can quit your current job. Even if this doesn’t work out you don’t want to continue working there. After getting everything set up with the coach and meeting the rest of the team who were talking in the gym you guys went out to eat so you could get to know everyone. You wrote down what you wanted to say on your board and Bokuto wrote the answers to questions or comments that others had down for you. 

A week later and you re-entered the building to meet with Bokuto but this time you would be staying and working. The guys minus Sakusa had greeted you when you entered the gym. After dinner last week you had exchanged numbers with Atsumu and Hinata then was immediately put in a group chat with the three boys becoming good friends throughout the week. You didn’t take Sakusa ignoring you when you walked into the gym personally, you figured he was still mad at you for what happened last week. Although you yourself aren’t quite sure what happened last week. He didn’t have anything to say to you during dinner and he wasn’t interested in exchanging numbers either. You shrugged it off and sat yourself at the edge of the bench while the guys warmed up.

As the guys warmed up you took out a notebook that had information for the team written down. Everyone was pretty basic, just small things they liked done differently than each other. The only one that seemed to have a big difference was Sakusa. The biggest thing was the fact that he was a germaphobe, so you went out and bought a few things to accommodate that. You bought antibacterial wipes so you could wipe down where you set his water bottle and towel down so that he doesn’t have to come near anyone to get his stuff or worry about it getting it dirty by setting it down on a dirty bench. You also bought a travel pack of hand sanitizer and some antibacterial spray for your hands. The boys had mentioned that he liked the laundry done with certain products and you made a mental note to ask him later how he wanted them done.

Looking up you noticed that they had split up and started practicing. You figured they would have a break soon so you grabbed everyone’s water bottle but Sakusas and went to go fill them up. When you were finished with that you put aside a towel for each of them to wipe away their sweat. You sanitize your hands before grabbing Sakusa’s bottle to fill up with water. You didn’t mind taking two trips if it meant he would be more comfortable. When you returned to the gym you took the wipe you had gotten out before leaving and wiped down the area you wanted to place his stuff on. Placing a towel down next to his water bottle you sat down by everyone else’s stuff. While you were doing this you hadn’t noticed a pair of eyes watching you do all this.

After you had successfully completed your first day as their manager you had read through the notes you took throughout the day. They weren’t anything too detailed mostly just who played what position. The guys were currently getting changed and showering in their locker room and you decided to wait. You still wanted to ask Sakusa about the laundry, not wanting to upset anyone. 

As the boys were exiting the locker room you noticed that even if he was the first in the locker room he still wasn’t out even though everyone already left. As you thought about it you really didn’t know how you would get his attention, usually you tug on Bokuto’s sleeve but you didn’t want to invade Sakusa’s personal space. You quickly texted the group chat and asked for Sakusa’s contact information praying that someone had been on their phone at the time. As Hinata responded you made a mental note to bring him a cupcake or lunch to tomorrow’s practice. 

You sent him a quick text asking if you could talk after he was done in the locker room. As he replied with a simple ‘Ok.’ you noted that he was a dry texter, or maybe he really did hate you. You hoped it wasn’t the latter. You stood up with your white board and you saw him walk out of the locker room and stopped about five feet away from him and shyly waved. You frantically waved your arms as he took off his mask and started to walk closer to you. He raised an eyebrow as you started writing on your white board, I have two white boards, you don’t have to take off your mask if you don’t want to.  He nodded and you sat down on the bench to give him your spare white board and marker and he sat down with you. 

Before you gave him your white board you got out your package of anti-bacterial wipes and handed them to him before handing him the board and marker. You smiled as he took everything and started disinfecting it. When he was done with everything he wrote a simple, Thank you, what did you need. 

You shook your head at the fact that he was just as blunt as everyone said he was. While he was erasing his previous statement you wrote yours, Bo had mentioned that you liked the laundry done with certain products, I was wondering if you could tell me so I don’t mess it up? After reading your question he looked slightly shocked and that confused you. Is it not normal for the team manager to want to do things the way the teams like? Come to think of it Bo never did tell you why the previous one quit. 

After thinking about it for a while Sakusa had written down, I’ll just text it to you. You made an “Oh” face and nodded. He handed you back the white board and started walking towards the doors, you quickly put them both away and stood up to leave. 

As you exited the building you noticed it was darker then when you used to get out of work and you were thankful you didn’t live near a sketchy neighborhood. As you turned to leave you felt someone tap your shoulder and you jumped before turning around. You gave Sakusa a questioning look as he pulled out his phone, soon you felt your phone buzz in your pocket. You pulled out your phone and saw a text from him asking if you wanted a ride home. You shook your head and turned again to leave but was quickly pulled towards the opposite direction. You glanced down where you felt the tugging and saw Sakusa holding the end of your sleeve while walking towards his car.

As you got in the car and buckled your seat belt you glanced at him and noticed he was watching you the whole time. You tilted your head in confusion and he pointed to the screen that was prompting you to enter in your address and you nodded and started typing it in smiling at him when you were done. On the way to your apartment you looked out the window watching all the people pass by occasionally looking at Sakusa as he drove. Before you got out of the car you quickly signed Thank you out of habit and you were about to scold yourself that you probably look dumb but you were shocked and pleasantly surprised when he signed back You’re welcome.

You stopped at your mail cubby and grabbed the few letters in there nodding at the other person in the lobby before heading to the elevator to get to your floor. You showered before you did anything else knowing Sakusa wasn’t going to text you right away about the laundry supplies. After you showered and did your nightly routine you opened the mail you retrieved, one of them being a letter from your parents and the other being a hospital bill from your monthly visit. You sighed and set the bill aside while you put the letter from your parents with the others they sent. You didn’t have the best relationship with them.

You glanced at your phone again and noticed that Sakusa had texted you six minutes ago. Listing all of the products that he used to do laundry and you quickly jotted them down in your notebook and made a mental note to get them the next time you go shopping. You sent a thank you thinking that was the last of your interaction for today when you got another text.

Sakusa: I talked with the rest of the guys and they said you think I hate you. I don’t. I feel bad that I yelled at you and basically caused you to have a panic attack. I didn’t know how to apologize or to approach you so I just avoided you. I’m sorry. I don’t do well with new people or people in general.

You laughed at the last part and quickly sent a text back saying it wasn’t his fault, and he didn’t know you were deaf. After that you had a light conversation before it ended saying he would see you at tomorrow's practice and asked if you needed a ride again. You declined saying that Bokuto was supposed to pick you up but thanked him anyway and told him to sleep well. You were glad he wasn’t mad at you or absolutely hated you. Otherwise that would’ve made for a long and awkward month.