#and especially with how queer people were treated during the holocaust I feel many Jewish people and queer people should have solidarity.. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cinephiled-com · 5 years ago

Text

New Post has been published on Cinephiled

New Post has been published on http://www.cinephiled.com/circus-books-rachel-mason-chronicles-parents-surprising-business-selling-gay-porn/

In ‘Circus of Books,’ Rachel Mason Chronicles Her Parents’ Surprising Business — Selling Gay Porn

Rachel Mason’s moving documentary tells the story of the iconic bookstore and gay porn shop that served as the epicenter for LGBTQ life in Los Angeles for decades. Unbeknownst to many in the community it served, the store was cultivated and cared for by Mason’s parents, Karen and Barry, a straight conservative Jewish couple. Circus of Books is an intimate portrait of the Masons and their accidental journey to become one of the biggest distributors of hardcore gay porn in the United States, all the while downplaying the family business to their friends, synagogue, and even their own children. While they approached their store primarily as a way to support their family, Circus of Books also provided a much-needed non-judgmental gathering place for L.A.’s LGBTQ community. When the AIDS epidemic hit with a vengeance, Karen and Barry provided aid and comfort to countless people who were suffering, even as the mens’ own families rejected them.

Rachel Mason, director of Circus Of Books

An accomplished artist in her own right, Rachel Mason’s portrait of this lost world (her parents finally retired last year and the bookstore closed for good) is a poignant and entertaining document of an institution that was vital to its community. Mason also wrote and performs the end credit song, “Give You Everything.” The film is now available for screening on Netflix. I so enjoyed talking to Rachel Mason from her shelter-in-place.

Danny Miller: Rachel, it’s great to talk with you, I so enjoyed this beautiful film!

Rachel Mason: Thank you so much, I appreciate that!

I was happy to hear that you had already done the festival circuit with the film and that you got to screen it with appreciative audiences. I so feel for filmmakers who are having their films come out during this miserable pandemic.

Yes, we should have a moment of silence for all the films that are not getting what I got, it’s so sad. We were going to have a theatrical release, but I’m thrilled that people can now see the film on Netflix. I loved our time at all of the festivals, but the gay festivals in particular were such a joy. There was such a communal spirit at those screenings, with everyone getting all the references and laughing and crying at all the right moments!

I imagine this would be such a fun film to see with a big crowd.

For sure. When I saw the film with gay audiences, that’s when felt like I had actually done something for my community. I really feel for all the filmmakers and audiences who aren’t getting that right now, I hope we can figure out new ways to get that community spirit.

The upside, I guess, if you can call it that, is that you’ve got a captive audience yearning for new content.

That’s true. And while I think the film is for everyone, I think one of the best things about it is that it’s bringing people together in the queer community to remind us all of this historical past that is slipping away so quickly — especially the younger generation. I think many young people don’t have a clue about what the older generation went through. I want them and future generations to know what happened and what the role of erotic content was for our community in those years before the Internet.

I had the chance to interview Scotty Bowers when Matt Tyrnauer’s documentary Scotty and the Secret History of Hollywood came out. He reminded me how few options there were before the Internet for gay people. It seems like places like your parents’ store were such a vitally important resource for the community. I’m glad that stories like his and the one you’re telling here are recorded for posterity.

I completely agree. There’s so much that is disappearing because the older generation is not around. The people who survived the AIDS epidemic are like cherished members of our community. We need to get all these stories down. I hope Circus of Books gives people a sense that they really need to look for these stories before they disappear.

Without this film, the story of your parents and their role in this community would never have been known. Needless to say, I totally fell in love with your parents. In so many ways they reminded me so much of my own Jewish parents. It’s fascinating when you talk in the film about how you and your brothers didn’t quite realize what they were doing and it was only your friends who finally clued you in.

It was really interesting because my parents were so not cool. I had lots of cool friend friends with really cool parents, but my parents were not those people. They were kind of boring. They were straight. My mom was super religious which annoyed the crap out of me and all I wanted to do was rebel against them. And then here come my rebel friends who I find out are going to my family’s store and saying how cool it is. It was such a shock to me. In the end, it was exciting to realize that I had this access to one of the coolest places in the city in terms of how all my friends in the gay underground saw it. I think I appreciated the store so much more from the time I was a teenager on, and it was kind of like God’s will that I made this film because nobody else could have gotten the access. I mean, my mom would certainly not have ever let anyone but me follow her around with a camera, that was the last thing she wanted.

It’s kind of a miracle that the film happened at all considering your mother’s reluctance to be a part of it, and yet I think that tension is also part of why it’s such a compelling film. Would you say that you finally won your mother over in terms of her being happy about being part of the documentary?

Well, I did manage to trot her out at a few of the festival screenings and have her stand there while she got standing ovations. My mom is very much a reluctant hero. First off, she hoped no one would ever see this film and now that people are seeing it, she has had to reckon with the fact that she is looked on as a hero by lots of people and yet she doesn’t feel any sense of heroism because up until the day the store closed, she says she was just doing her job — filing paperwork, sending out invoices, making sure her staff got paid — all the things you do to run a small business and none of it was particularly glamorous or interesting. So, when you finally come up for air after 40 years and people start thanking you for doing this work, there’s a sort of shell shock. Plus, my mother has an innate talent to find fault in almost anything. After she got a five-minute standing ovation at Frameline, she was perplexed that it went on for so long. I was like, “Mom, the one thing you can’t criticize is a standing ovation, there is just nothing bad about that!” (Laughs.)

I’m glad she showed up for those events despite her discomfort. In terms of the heroic element, yes, they were providing this amazing service for an oppressed community without judgment, but as soon as the AIDS crisis hit, that’s when I would start calling your parents real heroes. What they did to help people in that world during that awful time was so touching.

It’s true. That was really important even if they didn’t see it as anything extraordinary. When we look at the history of the Holocaust, there are these people who are called Righteous Gentiles who helped the people who were being persecuted, like the ones who hid Anne Frank and so many others. Those people are often very reluctant to accept any acknowledgement because they simply did what they felt was right. Like, what would you do if your best friend’s daughter was going to get killed? I mean, you would probably think about hiding her in your attic, too, right? It’s a simple thing but it reminds us all that there’s something called humanity here. And the lack of humanity that the gay population saw during the AIDS crisis was just utterly shocking. We look back at that time now, and we’re like, “Wow, really?” Parents didn’t show up for their own dying children and yet they called themselves Christians.

Did you realize what was going on at that time and what your parents were doing to help these people?

I didn’t understand the depth of that pain. My perspective on it as a kid was that I would see these beautiful, funny, amazing gay men who worked at the store who were great people and hilarious. And then, my mom would say, “Oh, well, he’s not here anymore because he died.” This happened again and again but I had this child’s perspective on it that I almost didn’t think twice about until I got older and knew many people who lost so many of their friends. And then when I interviewed my parents for the film and heard these stories, I was just heartbroken. A mother would call my mom and want to know what her son was like. And my mother would think, “Fuck you, lady, he was dying and you refused to fly out here from Idaho to see him when he needed you so badly.” No amount of anti-gay feelings should override parental love to that extent. I wish I could say those sentiments have disappeared today but we know they’re still out there. We’re all aware that there is a powerful Christian right in this country. I was just reading about that hospital in New York that was set up on in Central Park to help with the pandemic but before anyone could work there or be treated they had to sign something saying they agreed with the group’s anti-gay policies.

Horrible.

I do think that’s where heroism comes in. My mom never ran out onto a battlefield to rescue people while bullets were flying, but she helped people who were being treated so cruelly by their own families and our culture. Sometimes it’s the least likely people who decide to stand up and do something right.

I love that analogy to the Righteous Gentiles during the Holocaust. Have your parents ever been honored by any LGBTQ groups?

Oh, God, no. First of all, they weren’t known. My parents were very, very private people, especially my mother. And very behind the scenes. Also because their work was related to the sex industry —

With its own biases and prejudices, forget about the gay part.

Exactly. So they just had their heads down and hoped no one would ever ask them about what they do. My mom would always try to just get past that question very quickly if anyone asked. “We have a bookstore.” That’s why this film is so shocking to their system.

I admit that when I was watching this film, a lot of my tears came from the scene with your brother when he talks about what it was like for him to come out. That was so moving already, but then seeing your reaction as he’s telling his story was even more so.

Those were very real tears for me. When I heard him talk about the day he came out, and how he had gotten a one-way plane ticket because he didn’t know if he’d be accepted by my parents, I was just so horrified, I never knew he had gone through any of that. I had such a different experience growing up. I love my parents, but I was kind of done with them putting any pressures on me. I was always a rebel, my friends were all gay or from the counterculture — I took a girl to prom and no one even said anything about it. And the truth is I was too caught up in my own selfish teenaged world to notice my little brother and his struggles. And then interviewing him at 37 and hearing him talk about 18-year-old Josh being that closeted and afraid, I just had these extreme feelings of shame. I realized I was out there waving my freak flag while poor little Josh was just trying so hard to be that perfect little kid. I think his is the more common story, most people are not artists and weirdos thumbing their nose at society like I was at a young age. I think that’s what gave me a free pass — I never even bothered to come out to them. Josh carried so much pressure to be the perfect child.

That scene is such a touchstone for the film. Do you think the level of secrecy around your parents’ business had repercussions on your family dynamic?

What’s interesting is that despite her work, my mom had all the classic Jewish family values, like wanting us to marry Jewish, have kids, go to college. My mom had all these hardcore expectations for us to get straight As, and nothing was ever good enough. And later I would think, “Why do we have to do all this?” Was it related to the fact that they ran a gay porn shop? She’s never really let go of those expectations to this day, it’s kind of maddening.

I can relate to those Jewish family values that are often bathed in neuroses.

Yeah, like there’s always this element of fear and survival mixed in — like you could get killed at any moment. You might think that you are part of the culture here but just wait until they start attacking Jews, we’ll be the first to be shoved into the ovens. I think that was also part of their fear of being open about what they were doing with the store.

I love all the interviews in the film. It’s amazing to see people like Larry Flynt and gay porn star Jeff Stryker, but what moved me the most is hearing from the old employees. What amazing characters. It’s so great to get their oral histories down from this lost world.

Totally. My dad talks about how important the employees were to people in the community. Like people would know that Gerald was there from four to six so they would go in then. Gerald had his own customers, and then earlier in the day Ben had his own group of customers, it was almost like fan clubs grew around all the different people who worked there. They knew their customers so well and what kinds of things they liked so they would give them a customized experience, like a niche within the niche.

Your mother gets a lot of attention because she’s such a compelling character, but I was so moved by your father as well.

My dad is a guy who just loves life and he’s thrilled at the attention he’s gotten because of the film, the opposite of my mom who is panic-stricken about it. They’re an interesting pair because he is the most happy-go-lucky person I’ve ever known.

I just wish we weren’t in the middle of a pandemic because I would love to see your parents at the screenings with big crowds.

Oh, on that front my mother couldn’t be happier about the pandemic and that she doesn’t have to do anything related to the film. Before the quarantine started, she joked about heading to Antarctica for a month after the film came out and living in an igloo!

youtube

Circus of Books is now available to watch on Netflix.

#Circus of Books #Rachel Mason #Interviews #What's Hot

1 note · View note

russellthornton · 8 years ago

Text

Heteronormativity: 14 Negative Consequences of a Sad Reality

Everyone wants to be accepted. And while our world is more accepting than it used to be, there’s no denying that heteronormativity still exists.

Maybe you’re straight, maybe you’re gay, or bi, or even sexually fluid. Whatever your sexual orientation, it’s obvious to everyone who isn’t living under a rock that being straight is the “preferred” way to be – if for no other reason, because you don’t get criticized or rejected for it.

What is heteronormativity?

Even though the term has been around since 1991 *created by Michael Warner as part of ‘queer theory’* not everyone has heard of it. And lately, it seems to be more common because of all the changes that have happened in our society over the last few decades.

According to Wikipedia.com, heteronormativity is defined as, “the belief that people fall into distinct and complementary genders *man and woman* with natural roles in life. It assumes that heterosexuality is the only sexual orientation or only norm, and states that sexual and marital relations are most *or only* fitting between people of opposite sexes… ”

Whew! That was a mouthful, huh? Okay, in plain English, it basically means that if you aren’t comfortable as either a man or woman, and not attracted to the opposite sex, then there’s something wrong with you.

Woah. Not cool, right?

Right.

While people in the older generations are probably having heart attacks just thinking about the fact that some people are gay, bisexual, or transgendered, the younger people are much more accepting. But still, that’s not to say there aren’t a lot of bigots under the age of 30. [Read: 9 sure ways to tell if you’re really bi-curious]

What heteronormativity does in our society

Well, I guess it depends on who you ask. An 80-year-old bigot would say yes. They would probably say something like it’s destroying the traditional family. Or that “those people” are mentally ill. Again, not cool.

But most of us non-judgmental people do think heteronormativity is bad. And here are the reasons why:

#1 It suppresses groups of people. I know most of us weren’t alive during the civil rights movement, but we’ve all heard about it. If you have never seen the movie The Help, you should watch it. It’s a glimpse into how African Americans were treated back in the mid-20th century.

Separate bathrooms, separate areas of restaurants and buses, and just overall treatment as if they were sub-human. It was awful. The same can be said for women at a time in our history.

I mean, it was less than a 100 years ago that women weren’t even allowed to vote and were literally considered property of men if they were married *or property of their father if they weren’t*. [Read: Male privilege – What it is and what it looks like in real life]

#2 It promotes hate. Assuming that there is ONLY one right and that everything else is wrong leads to hate. If a person doesn’t fit into someone’s vision of what is “right,” then the emotions, thoughts, and actions that result against that person can be horrendous.

Hello? Anyone remember the Holocaust from history class? Yeah, it wasn’t a good time to be Jewish in Germany in the 1930s and 1940s. And while that’s an extreme case, so many people harbor hate against people who are different than they are.

#3 It separates us. Most religions of the world promote loving one. Although that obviously is very rare in this world – unfortunately.

People are almost always looking to find ways that we are different, and not how we are SIMILAR. Because believe me, we are all humans. And that means we all have the same basic needs.

But if we voluntarily separate ourselves because of hate, well, that’s just downright sad. Humanity should be coming together, not ripping ourselves apart. [Read: How to feel happy – 13 strategies for instant happiness]

#4 It perpetuates ignorance. One of the reasons for bigotry and hate is ignorance. For example, many people are against transgendered people using the public bathroom of their choice.

One of the common arguments for this is that, “Our children use those restrooms, and who knows what they will do to them?!” In other words, they are implying that all transgendered people are sick, twisted, child molesters. Ummm, no.

I have known several transgendered people, and they are just as normal and kind as most people. So, if we don’t learn about people who are different than we are, then the ignorance just keeps going… and going… from generation to generation. [Read: Do you know someone who is guilty of Cissexism – Even you?]

Consequences of heteronormativity on people who aren’t heterosexual

All of these expectations, hate, and suppressions take a toll on people who do not fit into heteronormativity in our society. And that’s wrong. Here are some of the consequences of living in a culture that constantly criticizes and rejects anything outside of what most people think is “normal.”

#1 Low self-esteem. Okay, we all know what it feels like to feel bad about ourselves, right? I mean, about 0.00000001% of the population looks like a super model.

But so many girls look in the mirror and judge themselves for being “fat.” But imagine if you were constantly getting judged just for being who you are! Yep. Hello, low self-esteem! Ugh. So sad. [Read: 10 signs of low self-esteem and 5 ways to overcome it quickly]

#2 Confusion. If you’re heterosexual, can you imagine how difficult and confusing it would be to be gay, bisexual, or transgendered? Most of us take for granted that we are comfortable in our own body. And/or that we are sexually attracted to the opposite sex.

But how would it feel if you didn’t feel like that… for as long as you can remember? Confusion is an understatement.

#3 Rejection. When you are different than most people, rejection is inevitable. Because of hatred or ignorance, lots of people don’t support people who are not in the “social norm.”

Whether it’s their family, peers, or church members, so many people who are not heterosexual feel like many people reject them – just for being who they are. Others might even try to change them. [Read: How to know if you are gay – All the signs you can’t ignore]

#4 Bullying. Bullying has existed probably since the caveman days. But, it’s even worse now because people don’t just have to do it face-to-face anymore. It’s a lot easier to sit behind your computer or phone and spew out hateful comments to people who don’t fall onto the heteronormativity spectrum.

And bullies also like to gang up on the ones who are perceived as “weak” or “different,” so yeah. Non-heteronormative people are a prime target.

#5 Social shunning. And it doesn’t just have to be the bullies who don’t treat non-heterosexual people well. Just because people aren’t actively bullying other people doesn’t mean that they are welcoming them with open arms either.

Sort of like the “don’t ask, don’t tell” rule. They look the other way, put their heads in the sand, and just don’t really acknowledge their existence. As you probably guessed, this is not a fun way to live. [Read: 15 ridiculous lesbian myths you probably still believe]

#6 Fear. So, if you don’t fall on the heteronormativity scale, then you might not want to be around a lot of people. In fact, you might even fear them if you have been rejected, bullied, and shunned by enough people. Heck, who wouldn’t have fear if that happened so frequently?

#7 No hope for the future. What if your parents have shunned you? Or your church? Or your friends? If someone feels like they have no social support, how can the feel hopeful about the future? And then their imagination goes wild thinking that perhaps all people in the world will reject them *which isn’t true*.

#8 Depression. I’m not saying that all people who aren’t in the realm of heteronormativity are depressed. But let’s face it – with all the horrible bigots and phobic people out there, it would difficult to not feel sad a lot. When people are beaten down so often, they will just emotionally shut down. [Read: 10 Things a woman should know when dating a bisexual man]

#9 Self-harm. Again, not everyone will harm themselves. But there are a lot of people in the world who do. Whether it’s cutting their arms or legs or some other form of self-harm, they are desperately trying to find a way to cope.

And as crazy as it sounds to most people, feeling the physical pain takes their mind off of the emotional and mental pain inflicted on them by the people on the heteronormativity spectrum. [Read: Turning emotional pain into physical – Why do people cut?]

#10 Suicide. God willing, most people won’t get to this desperate point. But as we all know, suicide is a real problem – especially when people are constantly bullied and rejected. And how sad is it to think that it can be prevented.

While there are lots of reasons people commit suicide *including brain chemical imbalances*, social stigma and rejection is one of them. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

[Read: The perks and unperks of coming out of the closet]

Heteronormativity is a reality – a sad reality. But it is real nonetheless. So, the next time you talk to someone who doesn’t fall into that category, be kind, gentle, loving, and empathetic.

The post Heteronormativity: 14 Negative Consequences of a Sad Reality is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

0 notes