#and eddie is finally able to express what he has already KNOWN

[buckdiazlafd]

not to add to the discussion bc obvs eddieblr and buddieblr make elite post after elite post and i can’t really say anything that they haven’t said better already but like- eddie KNOWS his feelings but keeps them repressed, buck doesn’t know his feelings but expresses them to the MAX. that’s why when they finally get together eddie finally feels free

“oh it’s safe for me to finally love him” (and express it to the max)

and buck finally has a NAME for it

“oh im in love with him!!” and he finally feels such a sense of self actualization

[munsonsmixtapes]

Taste Me

virgin!Eddie x fem!reader

summary: Eddie gets a tongue piercing and you give him the opportunity to do something he has never done before

cw: MDNI (18+) oral (f recieving)

This is part two to Touch Me part three

"That's really fucking cool," you told Eddie as you stared at his tongue piercing that he had been excited to show you since he had gotten it done. He had been wanting to get one for a while and your nipple piercings had encouraged him so he went for it.

He was still trying to get used to it but had a newfound confidence because of it. The thing made him feel hot, the shyness he had, the awkwardness, slowly melting away as you stared at him, your eyes darkening.

The two of you had made out a few times since the first time, you always stopping when it got a bit too heated. You were always so kind to him even though they contradicted your kisses. Those were always rough and sloppy, and lazy but that was the way you both liked it.

Eddie would have been lying, though, if he said he didn't want more. He felt like he was finally ready to kick it up a notch. To take things to the next level even though he was scared to. He didn't want to make you uncomfortable and to be honest, he would have even known how to ask.

"You look hot," you told him pulling him out of his thoughts. Really? You thought so? Coming from you, that had to be the highest compliment he had ever received.

"I do?" He asked, suddenly feeling nervous about having your hot gaze on him.

"Of course you do, baby." That nickname always made his heart swell. "Want me to show you how hot I think you are?" You asked, batting your eyelashes and Eddie could already feel his dick getting hard.

"Please." The word came out like a whine and Eddie tried his hardest not to sound desperate but he was. You grabbed onto the back of his neck then pressed your lips to his in a sloppy manner.

You took no time to slip your tongue into his mouth, letting out a moan as you felt the piercing against it. It was cold, but you liked the feeling, immediately imagining what it would have felt like against your hot, wet, cunt. But you knew he had never done anything like that before you so you wanted to treat lightly.

"Do you want to try something new?" You asked and even though Eddie had no idea what you were talking about, he still nodded enthusiastically. Like always, he was down for whatever.

"Something new?" He asked, his eyebrows furrowing. "Like what?" You had done pretty much anything besides penetrative sex so he was wondering what else there could have possibly been.

"Well," you responded, grabbing on to a piece of his hair, twirling it around your finger as you put in a flirty expression. "I was wondering if you wanted to eat me out. I bet your piercing would feel really good against my cunt."

Eddie's eyes went wide as his cheeks turned pink. He had been wanting to do exactly that for weeks, but couldn't get the confidence to ask.

"I'd love to, but I don't know how."

"Just do whatever feels natural and if you're struggling, I'll help."

"Okay," he nodded and followed you to the bed where you went to lie back, making sure that your legs were hanging off the edge, your feet planted on the floor.

Eddie got down on his knees in front of you, spreading your legs wide then putting one over each shoulder just like he had read about so many times. He then turned his head and pressed kisses up your leg, sweet and gentle just like him. He took his time to warm you up even though he was eager to get to it. And so were you, apparently, with the way you were squirming on the bed.

He repeated the same action on your other leg then came face to face with your cunt, still covered by your underwear, but it was clear how wet you were by the very damp spot. He pushed up your skirt to give him so more room then dove in, pressing kiss after kiss to your clothed cunt then introduced his tongue, making sure to apply a good amount of pressure so you would have been able to feel it underneath your underwear.

"Eddie, please," you whined and he was quick to pull the underwear off and toss it across the room before going on again, his lips colliding with your clit, licking and sucking on it as your hands found their way into his hair like they always did.

He didn't really know what he was doing, just trying to figure out what you liked and what you didn't. By the way you were grabbing at his hair, he concluded that he was doing a good job.

His tongue flattened against your slit and you let out a gasp as foreign feeling of the piercing against the sensitive spot. He licked across it slowly so you could feel it and a moan escaped your lips in response.

"So good," you moaned and Eddie just chuckled, feeling more confident in himself.

"Yeah?" He asked, pulling away slightly. "You like that?"

He licked one more time before sucking on the spot, even harder this time to see your reaction. Your heels were digging into his back as you pushed yourself closer to him to the point where his face was fully buried in you. He continued to suck on and kiss the spot, making sure to mix in his tongue every once in a while as your heels dug even further into his back.

He then shoved his tongue inside you, swirling it around and that seemed to cause you to come completely undone as your thighs pressing into the sides of his head as you clenched around him, his tongue hitting that one spot that made you see stars.

Eddie kept going as you reached your orgasm, trying to see how many you could hit as he worked on you, wanting you to be absolutely wrecked once he was done with you.

He removed his tongue then went back to your clit, swirling his tongue around it, wanting you to feel his piercing as much a possible. You were gripping the sheets now, wanting to give his hair a break, feeling for back arch the time.

"Taste so good," he said. "And look at you," he pulled away to get a look at you. "Taking me so well. Got any more left in you, hon?"

You weren't entirely sure where all of this confidence had come from, but it was hot. He was hot. As long as he wanted to keep going, you'd have the energy for it.

"So much," you told him between labored breaths and that seemed like an invitation so Eddie dove in for more, not wanting to taste every inch of you, wondering if it all tasted as good as your cunt.

You both stayed like that for hours, him buried between your thighs while you let him do whatever he wanted to you, orgasm after orgasm rolling through you. You decided that you would have let him do that for as long as he liked, loving the way he was able to know exactly what you wanted without even asking. And you supposed now that you were going to have to return the favor sooner or later.

[harringtonswriting]

Okay what abt “just to clarify: me holding your hand doesn’t, like, mean anything, by the way. not in that way, at least. unless you want it to mean something. i don’t mind. that’s cool.” with Robin. This one has big robin vibes with the rambling omg

omg bestie this prompt was SO cute and yes it definitely has big robin vibes !!! i loved it so much and i hope you do too!! it's my first time writing for robin and it was so, so fun !!!

...

You hadn’t expected the mall to be this busy.

You could tell Robin hadn’t, either, from the grimace on her face as yet another person bumps into the two of you. Realistically, though, when she’d suggested heading to Indianapolis on a Friday afternoon, you probably should have known this would be the case. But you could never say no to Robin, and when she’d mentioned wanting to visit the big bookstore there because it would definitely have a better selection than the small one in Hawkins, you almost immediately told her you’d go with her.

The smile on her face was absolutely worth it, though, even if Eddie did tease you about it for the entire week leading up to your excursion. You’d do anything to see her smile, like really smile, where her mouth turns almost perfectly, prettily heart-shaped and her freckled cheeks squish up under her beautiful, bright blue eyes and you can’t help but smile too. So that’s why you’re here, on a terribly busy Friday afternoon, trying to weave through the crowds together while Robin tells you about the fact that old man Linley was in there for the third time this month to rent Sorority Sluts.

“And he thinks if he puts E.T. on top of it we’re not gonna notice! Like, come on, it’s already super obvious with the beads in the doorway to the back room,” she tells you, and you laugh at the image. You can see her and Steve now, sharing one of those looks you’ve seen them shoot at each other, where they don’t need words to communicate, as one of them rings through the older man and his… questionable choices. “Steve says that’s, like, one of the worse ones back there too. Which I then proceeded to call him a pervert for because, like, has he seen all of them? And knows how good they are? Like, how good can those movies actually be?”

That’s not something you’ve ever really considered, and you’re not sure you want to know. The two of you continue walking through the bottom floor, eyes looking out for the bookstore Robin wants to visit. You weren’t exactly sure where it was, but she’d said she knows where it is and was supposed to be leading the way. The two of you were going there first, and then you’d wander around for a bit before getting something to eat. But you could honestly listen to her talk all day, seeing how animated she gets and the way she moves her hands around to express her ideas and to really emphasize what she’s saying. It was one of the things you love about her–not that you’d mention that. Sure, she confided in you that she likes girls, but that doesn’t mean she likes you. You could (and would) dream that you’d be so lucky, but being able to be her friend and spend time with her was more than enough.

You’re drawn out of your reverie when yet another person pushes between the two of you, their shoulder knocking into yours, as you pass by a record store next to a little clothing boutique. You sigh, waiting for them to pass before turning to smile apologetically at Robin.

That’s when you feel something warm and soft grab your hand, and when you look down, you can see the familiar chipped purple nail polish and silver rings that normally adorn Robin’s hand. Your eyes move up a little further, and you see the yellow friendship bracelet you’d made her, one that matches the green one on your own wrist. Then you move your eyes higher and see Robin’s cheeks are flushed a very pretty pink, and her eyes are looking everywhere but at your face, and you feel your own cheeks get warm.

“I just don’t want you to get lost, you know? How much would it suck to finally make it to the bookstore and you’re not there because some rude jag off doesn’t know how to say excuse me?” she says, her voice higher pitched than normal as her words come tumbling out of her mouth. She tugs you forward by your intertwined hands, starting to walk and pull you along with her. You let her, a little surprised but not hating the way her hand feels in yours. “Just to clarify: me holding your hand doesn’t, like, mean anything, by the way. Not in that way, at least. Unless you want it to mean something. I don’t mind. That's cool.” The words keep coming, though these ones aren’t exactly what you’re expecting. Robin’s always been a talker, and maybe she didn’t mean for you to be paying complete attention to her this time, but you are and did she just say she doesn’t mind if holding your hand means something? Maybe you didn’t hear that right over the noise in the mall. But maybe… Well, if you heard right then you want to make sure she means what you think she means. What you want her to mean. 

“What if I want it to mean something?” you interject, and you tumble into Robin’s side as she stops walking immediately. She doesn’t let go of your hand, though, even as you apologize. Her blue eyes are wide, her lashes stark and black against her face, as she stares at you with her mouth slightly open. It’s the first time you’ve stunned her into silence, and you relish it for a few seconds before she starts speaking again.

“Do you want it to mean something? I mean, you know, I would be okay with that. More than okay! If you mean it. Steve’s been saying I should probably tell you how I feel but I also don’t want to scare off one of the only girl friends that I have because, like, we are just friends and we also live in a small town and people are seriously not cool there. Aside from you! And Nancy, she’s pretty cool, but she’s with Jonathan and I’m not even into her, I swear!” She’s gesturing again, but she hasn’t let go of your hand; in fact, her grip has only gotten tighter and she’s using your hand to gesticulate with her own.

People keep pushing around the two of you, but you don’t move out of the way for them this time. You feel warmth bloom in your chest, under your ribcage as your heart pounds, because Robin is absolutely adorable when she’s flustered. You could listen to her talk for hours, even about Nancy Wheeler, who you’re kind of glad to hear Robin doesn’t have a crush on. That eases a knot in your stomach you don’t like to think about. But is Robin actually saying she likes you? Like, likes you likes you? You think so. And… wow, okay, you were very glad you offered to drive Robin to Indianapolis. “Also, like, I didn’t mean girlfriend, unless you want me to mean girlfriend, as in not just a friend, but I don’t want to weird you out.”

She seems to be drifting off in her trains of thought, so you squeeze her hand where it’s still gripping yours, and it stops her mid sentence. “Robin,” you say, and her eyes meet your own. Her eyebrows are furrowed and her nose is scrunched, and in the sunlight coming through the mall’s skylights her freckles stand out like tiny kisses along the bridge of her nose and the soft planes of her cheeks, and you’ve never thought she looked prettier. “Yeah, I want it to mean something. I do.”

There’s that smile you love, back on her face and this time her tongue is sticking out just slightly from between her teeth. She pulls you in just a bit closer, before you start out again to head to the bookstore with her hand never leaving yours.

And if you spend a little too long hidden between bookshelves in the back, quiet giggles and the smell of paper lingering around you, well, that’s just fine with you.

[tripleaxeldiaz]

never fallen from quite this high

read on ao3

There’s a knock at the door, but Eddie doesn’t hear it, focused instead on the pinks and oranges of the sunset coming through the window and trying to stop his mind from reeling like it’s been for the past week.

Because a week ago, when he broke up with Ana, she looked him in the eye and said, “I hope he makes you happy,” and he didn’t have to ask who she was talking about.

He knew. And that scared him more than any war zone or tsunami or lungful of mud ever could.

Another knock, one Eddie registers, but he still doesn’t move. Now he’s replaying the last conversation he had with the person on the other side of the door — when Buck had innocently, nonchalantly asked why he had broken up with “his perfect teacher” and his response, without a minute to let himself think, was “because of you”. The room became a vacuum, completely airless as they stared at each other, Buck slack-jawed and Eddie wide-eyed. He could have done a thousand things — explained himself, laughed it off, denied denied denied, anything.

Instead, he ran away, peeling out of the parking lot to put as much distance between Buck and his dumb ass as possible, drowning in the shame he brought on himself.

He should’ve known Buck would follow him anyway.

A third knock, a little louder and more deliberate, and Eddie’s fingers twitch, itching to let Buck in like his heart has been begging for for days — probably years, actually — only to be beaten into submission by his thoughts and reminders that Buck is good and he is not. That no matter how deep his feelings for Buck may be (which, as it turns out, are deep enough to brand themselves on bone), he refuses to taint him, will not spread whatever bad energy even his parents can see, not after watching Buck rebuild himself brick by beautiful brick until he loved himself half as much as Eddie does.

There’s scraping and jingling as the door is unlocked, and Eddie braces himself for whatever conversation is about to unfold. Buck walks into the room, curls loose from his post-shift shower, expression unreadable in a way that Eddie hasn’t seen in a while, not since he’d memorized every tick and twitch Buck makes. The last remaining rays of sunshine light him up as he comes to a stop in front of Eddie, wrapping him in an ethereal glow, soft and almost angelic, even with his arms crossed and his walls clearly up.

It’s a little unfair, Eddie thinks, that Buck looks this gorgeous, this inviting, when he can’t even appreciate it fully.

They stare at each other, a silent game of chicken while they each wait for the other to crack. Eddie won’t break, he can’t, because if Buck walks out of his life right now because he couldn’t keep his feelings in check, he knows there’s no way he’ll be able to put himself back together. Luckily, Buck moves first, sighing through his nose and sitting down on the coffee table across from Eddie.

“So,” he starts, “because of me, huh?”

The bluntness is enough to kickstart Eddie’s self-preservation instincts. “Let’s just forget it, Buck.”

“No, no way.” Buck scoots forward, pressing his knees to Eddie’s, preventing any kind of escape. “I don’t want to forget it or ignore it or pretend it never happened. But I would like an explanation.” 

The words get stuck in Eddie’s throat, undecided on whether they’re going to come out or retreat back in and hide themselves away again. He looks away and Buck follows, staying in his line of vision, looking smaller and sadder as the silence drags out.

He breaks it, finally, along with Eddie’s heart. “Was it something I did?”

Eddie sighs. “No, it’s not—”

“Because I did like her. She made you happy, so of course I liked her—”

“Buck—”

“And I didn’t mean to keep blowing off hanging out with you guys, it’s just— you and me and her— I was worried about it being weird and I know I shouldn’t have been but—”                                               

“Buck.” Eddie grabs his hands where they’re hanging between his legs, tries not to think about how Buck squeezes back even tighter instead of pulling away. “You didn’t do anything.”

“But you said—”

“I know.” He hadn’t even noticed threading their fingers together, but they’re here now and neither of them are moving, so he just squeezes again and takes a deep breath. “Ana was great, and I liked her a lot, but she didn’t...fit.” Because the hole Eddie thought he needed her to fill was already taken up, he just hadn’t let himself realize it. And he liked Ana — she was nice, pretty, safe, the epitome of the girl he should want, but she didn’t set his skin on fire with a brush of her fingers, didn’t flip his heart with an easy smile, didn’t make him ache for her.

She was perfect, but she wasn’t Buck.

“She didn’t fit, but someone else does?” Buck asks, like he hasn’t figured it out already, like Eddie hadn’t made it so blatantly obvious you could see it from space.

He nods anyway, confirming it. For Buck and for himself. “Yeah. You do. You fit.”

Buck’s eyes widen just a little, his face still unreadable but edging towards something like joy, only to crumble again as he searches Eddie’s face. “But that’s...bad? You don’t want me to fit.”

“No, Buck, I—” I need you to fit so bad I can’t breathe. “I want you to be happy.” More than I want myself to be happy. “I just don’t know if I can make you as happy as you deserve to be.”

Buck’s reaction is instant, without hesitation, like he knew what Eddie was going to say and already had an answer. He disentangles their hands and instead of leaving, like Eddie feared, he brings them up to either side of Eddie’s neck, thumbs resting on his jaw and holds him still so he can’t look anywhere but at Buck. 

He doesn’t want to look anywhere else. It should be scary, but it’s not. It’s liberating.

“I don’t know if you know this,” Buck starts, voice low and just for Eddie, keeping secrets from the shadows that have crept into the room, “but I’m an expert at leaving when the going gets tough. Every relationship I’ve ever been in — even Abby — had me fighting some part of myself that wanted to run away as soon as things got a little hard.” He takes a breath and his eyes blaze brighter, full of conviction and absolutely mesmerizing. “I never had to fight myself for you. You and Chris fit for me too, and I am happy, happier than I ever thought I would be, because of you.” 

Eddie swallows, lost in the determined, deep blue that is so uniquely Buck, and feels his walls start to fall apart.

“I’m not gonna be good at this,” he whispers — confesses — in the stillness of dusk.

“Neither will I. We’ll learn together.”

“What if I stop making you happy?”

“You won’t.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do.”

Eddie opens his mouth to argue again, to keep up the facade of the fortress he built around himself that he knows Buck has broken through, but something stops him. Some part of him that’s long been buried, something he thought he lost in the sands of Afghanistan, emerges from its hiding place and whispers Take it. Take him. He loves you. Let yourself be loved.

And it’s easier, then, to lean in instead of fight against. His hands frame Buck’s face, mirroring each other, and he hardly has to pull before they’re meeting in the middle. Buck’s lips are perfect, softer than he imagined but still firm and getting everything he wants, and he tastes like mint and sunshine and home. Eddie’s already trying to figure out how he can make sure he kisses Buck like this every day for the rest of his life.

Judging by the enthusiastic reciprocation and small, happy sounds he keeps drinking up, Buck’s on the same page.

They only break apart because they have to breathe, but they don’t go far, foreheads resting together, noses brushing. And as happy as he is, Eddie’s still a little scared — scared that this is all temporary, that it won’t work out, that he’ll lose one of the most important people in his life when he inevitably makes the wrong decision or does the wrong thing.

But then he hears it again, the long forgotten voice, saying He loves you. He won’t let you go and he won’t let you forget. 

The last reservations Eddie has break away, and they fall back in, slotting together like puzzle pieces, drenched in moonlight and peace and hope.

[when-they-write-stuff]

“Why do you do it?”

Eddie looked up silently. The ice pack was startling to melt against his face, probably not doing much for the bruises anyway, and he kind of wanted to be anywhere else other than sitting on the couch in Buck’s place. But the man was the only one he was willing to let see him like this and there was no way he was going home to Christopher yet.

No, not yet. He didn’t need the kid to see what happened after he lost a fight.

Except, Buck was looking at him with pleading eyes, and Eddie had no idea where to start. Because what could he even say to that kind of question?

Why did he do it?

“Eddie, come on man. You have to talk to me—”

“Control,” Eddie said sharply. Buck’s mouth snapped closed, looking surprised, and Eddie dropped his eyes, clenching his jaw. “Control, Buck. I need it.”

And he did, didn’t he? He needed it.

It was the ring.

The first time Eddie stepped in front of an opposing fighter, he’d finally felt like he had some sort of control. It was a step away from everything he currently knew; from the tsunami, from the constant panic building up in his chest. From Buck’s lawsuit, from the emptiness he felt every time he glanced around the 118 base.

After Christopher had started waking up in fits of terror and Buck ended up never being around anymore, Eddie hadn’t known what to do. It was everything. The stress, the pain, the confusion. The overwhelming weight of everything.

“I need it,” Eddie said again, voice cracking. And he hated himself for feeling like he could break at any second.

“Eddie, you have to know that I’m here—”

“No,” Eddie said, cutting the man off. “No, you’re here now, Buck . You’re here currently. But you weren’t before. You weren’t ‘here’ when Chris woke up screaming. When he cried for his Buck, when I couldn’t even call you because I wasn’t allowed to. When I couldn’t able to talk to my best friend as Christopher fell asleep at my side every single night, whimpering and crying out in his sleep. You weren’t there.”

The look that Buck looked at him in response to that made Eddie feel sick. He both wanted to take back all of his words and never stop speaking.

“Why do I do it?” He asked bitterly, tearing his gaze away. “Because I need something to hurt that can be treated. I need some kind of control.”

The silence reigned for a long moment. Eddie pulled the ice pack away from his face with a sigh, finally raising his eyes to meet Buck’s again.

The other man swallowed, offering a small nod. “Right.”

Eddie stayed silent. Buck held his gaze for a moment longer before glancing away.

“Uh, the swelling’s gone down. I think you’re good now, man.”

Eddie bit down hard on his lower lip. He hadn’t thought he looked that bad in the first place, but when he’d knocked on Buck’s door with blood still on his knuckles, head throbbing, the man had looked at him like he’d just crawled out of the grave. 

So, maybe it had been a little bad.

 “I am sorry, man,” Buck said after another long moment of silence. The man sunk onto the couch beside him, taking the ice pack from Eddie’s hand and setting it on the side table. “I, uh, didn’t realize Chris was struggling so much.”

Eddie just nodded. Buck glanced over at him.

“I didn’t realize you were either.”

“The kid’s tough,” Eddie said, voice nearly betraying him. Buck raised an eyebrow and Eddie shook his head, forcing a small, humorless laugh. “Tougher than anyone I’ve ever known.”

“So he’s like his dad, then.”

“No. I think he got it from his mom.”

“Ed,” Buck said, sounding pained. “If he’s as tough as you are stubborn, then I’m pretty sure you can take some of the credit.”

Chest warming a bit, Eddie finally looked over at the man, biting down a smile. Buck’s eyes brightened a little.

“Just some, though.”

“Of course.”

Buck’s gaze moved back across his face then, lingering on the bruise underneath his eye again, and a look of concern took over once more. Eddie hadn’t really known what to expect when he’d shown up at Buck’s door, getting more than one horrified look from the man’s neighbors, but then after a bit of Buck freaking out, yelling at him, and then freaking out some more, Eddie supposed that’s exactly what he should have anticipated.

Except, then was the gentleness of Buck’s actions that followed afterward. Ones which led to Eddie sitting on the couch, an ice pack pressed against his face, and the man sitting beside him, almost purposefully close. That’s what really had made Eddie want to stay.

“Will you go out there again?”

Eddie clenched his jaw, all those thoughts vanishing again. Buck gave him an imploring look.

“Eddie, are you gonna do it again?”

“I think I’ve learned my lesson.”

Buck narrowed his eyes at that. Eddie sighed. 

“It’s not currently in the books.”

“That’s such a shitty answer, man.”

Eddie blinked in surprise and Buck shoved himself up, eyes flashing. “That’s shitty, man. It is. What if something else were to happen? What if something else went wrong and you pissed off the wrong opponent, or took a hit a little too hard? You’re hiding out from your own kid because you look like you went a round with a battering ram and lost. Eddie, it’s bullshit.”

A mix of pain and anger cut through Eddie’s chest. He glared at the man. “Don’t do that, Buck.”

“Don’t do what? Tell the truth?”

“I came here because you were nearby. I came here because—”

“You came here because you know that I’d be there for you no matter what happened!”

“Yeah, now!”

Hurt flashed across Buck’s eyes and Eddie immediately regretted his words. All over again, he just needed to bite down on his tongue. Bite down until it hurt. Buck took a few steps backward and Eddie kind of hated himself, running a hand through his hair.

Because wasn’t like he didn’t forgive Buck already. It wasn’t like he was still purposefully holding anything against him. It wasn’t like— it wasn’t—

It wasn’t fair. He knew that. 

“If you want to take your punches out on anyone, you come to me,” Buck said, voice cracking. Eddie looked up at him and all he could see was the red forming around Buck’s eyes. The desperation written across his face. “If you need some type of control, you know where I live, Eddie. You know where I live.” Buck swallowed hard. “But I don’t want the next time you knock on my door to be because you’ve been beaten to a pulp again. You can’t do that to me.”

Eddie floundered for words for a moment. Buck folded his arms over his chest, taking a trembling breath.

“If you a damn punching bag then I’m here, man.”

“Buck...”

Buck scoffed, hands clenching and unclenching by his sides. Slowly, Eddie pushed himself up. 

“You were right,” he said, raising a hand. It hovered in the inches between them and he was almost scared to lay it on Buck’s shoulder. The man looked nearly as bad as Eddie had been feeling before. “I came here because I knew I could. Because I trust you, Buck. And I… I’m sorry. What I said wasn’t fair.”

“You know, it sucked for me too. Not seeing you. ot seeing Chris.”

Eddie’s chest tightened. Buck sniffed.

“I miss the little guy.”

“And he misses his Buck.”

Buck’s expression softened considerably at that. And there was a hint of forgiveness in his eyes— one that looked as easy as breathing. Eddie gave him a hopeful look. 

“I missed his Buck too.”

Buck barked out a small laugh at that, looking like he’d just melted a little bit. And to be honest, Eddie felt like he had to. Before he could even react, Buck was pulling him in close, and Eddie smiled into the man’s grip, the throbbing of his bruised face momentarily forgotten as he turned it into Buck’s shoulder.

They stood there for a long moment and maybe all was forgiven after all. Then, with a small, almost flushed look on his face, Buck pulled back and studied him again. His thumb brushed briefly over the bruise underneath Eddie’s eye before he drew quickly back; like a touch that had never even been there.

“Will you go out again?”

This time, Eddie didn’t even have to think. “No. It’s done.”

Buck held his gaze. Eddie rolled his eyes.

“I promise, Buck.”

“Good,” the man said, finally grinning again. “Because I’d hate to have to kick your ass too.”

“Oh, you think that’s what would happen?”

“Hell yeah,” Buck said. “Without breaking a sweat, big guy.”

Eddie just shook his head. 

When he’d been standing on Buck’s doorstep a few hours ago, knuckles cracked and head pounding, he’d debated whether or not knocking would be a bad idea. He thought he could see all of this ending a few million ways; and not all of them were good.

But right now, a melted ice pack on the side table and some of the tension relieved from his shoulders, he decided it was the best thing he’d chosen to do. In a long while.

Why did he do it? And why would he stop?

Because of this, probably.

“Come on,” Buck said, eyes dancing. “Maddie keeps some ‘emergency’ supplies here and I’m pretty sure that involves concealer. Wanna give covering up that shiner a try?”

“I hate you.”

“Yeah,” Buck said smirking. “I know.”

Because of Buck, probably. 

-

So, I might’ve taken this and run with it, which got us here? I think Buddie officially has my heart and soul and aaah. They just give me so many emotions.

[wikiangela-fanfics]

“You being there was all I needed” - Buddie oneshot

Yep, it happened. Buddie sucked me in and now I’m writing about them hahaha

It’s my first fic about them, and I’m not necessarily happy with how it turned out, but at the same time I kinda like it XD Hopefully, any new ones I write about them will be better haha

2k words, most of it under the cut cause it seemed kinda long haha

Ao3 here

Enjoy ♥

(also, shoutout @oliverstarkkk for reading and liking it haha your response to this fic gave me enough confidence about it to actually post it ♥ hah)

***

He woke up hearing faint sounds of conversation from the kitchen. He immediately knew that Buck had to come over, since he was the only one who had a key. Then he heard his laughter, which only confirmed what Eddie thought. The only thing he was a little confused about was why Buck was there so early. And why didn’t he or Christopher wake him up. 

He picked up his phone to check the time. It wasn’t even 9am yet. They had a day off after the 24-hour shift they’d just finished. How the hell did Buck get out of bed so early on his day off after a 24-hour shift and having spent the evening before with them?

Eddie stretched, putting his phone away. Then he sighed and got out of bed. He quietly made his way to the kitchen, where he saw Buck and Chris making breakfast. It immediately brought a smile to his face. Buck was so great with his son, and Chris loved Buck so much. 

Eddie leaned against the door frame, watching Buck put another pancake on the pile on the plate, while Christopher was sitting with another plate in front of him, decorating a pancake with fruit and whipped cream that could be seen all over the table.

“What’s happening here?” Eddie asked, and both Chris and Buck looked at him, startled. 

“Happy birthday, daddy!” Chris yelled, laughing. Eddie was a little surprised, as he kind of forgot about it. But in his defense, it was early.

“You were supposed to be asleep. We wanted to bring you breakfast to bed.” Buck said, trying not to smile. 

“Sorry.” Eddie rolled his eyes with a chuckle. He walked towards the table, leaning down to leave a kiss on Chris’ head.

“Happy birthday, Eddie.” Buck said with a soft smile, handing him a plate with the pancake that Chris was preparing on it. 

“Thank you both. You shouldn’t have.” he said, not able to take his eyes off of Buck, whose cheeks got a little pink.

“It was Christopher’s idea.” Buck shrugged. “Now, sit down and eat, Chris made them, I just fried.”

“Oh, really?” Eddie looked back at his son. “When did you learn how to cook?”

“Buck and abuela taught me.” Chris laughed. Eddie could listen to that laugh forever.

“Good. You can cook for me then.” Eddie smiled, taking a place at the table next to his son.

“Buck can cook for us.” was Christopher’s answer in such a tone, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Eddie looked up and his eyes met Buck’s. “Right, Buck?”

“Of course, buddy.” Buck smiled, his eyes not leaving Eddie’s. A long moment passed, with them just exchanging a fond look, before Buck cleared his throat and turned away to start cleaning up after cooking. “So, what are you gonna do today?” he asked.

“Spend the day with you two.” Eddie shrugged. That’s honestly all he wanted to do for his birthday. He didn’t care what they were gonna do, he just wanted to be with Christopher and Buck. “But first would you sit down and eat breakfast with us?” he asked Buck, as Christopher grabbed a pancake and already started eating. “We’ll clean up later.”

“I will clean up.” Buck clarified, taking a place opposite Eddie. “It’s your birthday, you’re not doing a thing today.”

“Fine with me.” Eddie smiled widely. He observed as Buck took whipped cream and poured like half of the bottle onto his plate. Then he poured some straight into his mouth before noticing that Eddie was observing him, and blushing a bit. 

“What?” Buck asked. Eddie just shook his head. He wasn’t going to say that he was staring because he thought Buck was adorable. And he was scared that if he opened his mouth, he would say just that.

“I want more whipped cream too!” Chris exclaimed, and Buck was happy to help.

Eddie just sat there, observing his two boys make an even bigger mess in the kitchen. Fortunately, he wasn’t the one who would be cleaning that.

***

They didn’t do much. They went to the park, played with Christopher on the playground. They got ice cream. They ate lunch. And then they went back to Eddie’s and watched a couple of movies. It was like their ordinary day off, but it was perfect. Eddie had fun and that’s really all he wanted for his birthday. 

When it got late, Buck and Eddie put Christopher to bed together, per his request, and then Buck was about to leave. But despite spending the whole day together, Eddie did not want him to go. So he invited him for a beer.

They sat on the couch, drinking their beers in comfortable silence, until Eddie spoke up.

“Hey.” he said, and Buck turned his head to look at him. “Thank you.”

“What for?” Buck frowned with a little confused smile.

“For today.” Eddie shrugged, taking another sip of his beer.

“We literally did nothing special. It was what we always do.” Buck rolled his eyes.

“Well, you and Christopher were there, so it was pretty special.” Eddie said, not looking at Buck.

“Just wait for next year. I’ll plan something really special.”

“Like what?” Eddie asked with amusement, his gaze back on Buck.

“Don’t know yet. I have a year to figure something out. But it’s gonna be awesome.” Buck leaned his head back on the couch and looked at Eddie.

“I’ll hold you to it.” Eddie smirked, mirroring Buck’s position. So now they were just sitting there with their heads leaned on the back of the couch, staring at each other. “But seriously, today was great. You being there was all I needed. You and Chris.” he clarified and swallowed hard, hearing how it sounded. But the truth was, all he needed was his son and Buck. They were the two most important people in his life, which was kind of crazy because he’s known Buck for such a short amount of time… but as cheesy as it sounded, he believed they were soulmates. He just couldn’t imagine what his life would be like without Buck in it. And Buck was so great with Christopher, and they already acted like a family, and Eddie wondered… what if Buck feels the same? What if he wonders about them too? He never really dared to let himself think that far, but what the hell, it was his birthday and he could daydream a little. Even if Buck was right next to him.

“What?” Buck asked, when Eddie’s smile widened a bit. They kept looking into each other’s eyes, and at that point that wasn’t even weird anymore.

“I love you.” Eddie sighed, lost in Buck’s eyes, and just content to be there with him.

And then his brain caught up with his mouth, his eyes widened, and he started to panic. He raised his head and sat up straight, looking back at Buck with horor.

“You do?” Buck asked, and there was a hint of something in his voice… like hope? He blushed and seemed surprised and a bit nervous, but he didn’t move. He just kept looking at Eddie.

“Yeah.” Eddie breathed. He figured, if he’s already said it, he can’t just backtrack now.

“Okay.” Buck bit his lip, pouring a bit of his beer into his mouth, raising his head a bit to do that, then leaning it back again and looking up at the ceiling. “Good.”

Eddie was confused now. Buck looked confident now, and there was a hint of a smile on his face. “What?” it was Eddie’s turn to ask.

“I mean, I’m in love with you.” he said slowly, glancing at Eddie. “And apparently everyone could see it but you. And me, before I realized, with some help, to be honest, like-” he started rambling, and Eddie cut him off with a kiss. It was quick and rushed, and nervous, it was like testing the waters. “Or we can do that, instead of talking.” Buck nodded, as Eddie pulled away to look at him. “We can definitely do more of that.” he sat up to put his beer away, and then they were making out, more confidently now. 

Eddie could not believe it was happening. He felt like he was floating. Buck was such a great kisser. And their hands started exploring each other’s bodies, and the kiss was getting more and more heated, with a lot of tongue and teeth, and moaning… God, Eddie loved to hear the small noises Buck made.

And then they heard a voice.

“Daddy?” Christopher said, and Eddie and Buck jumped off of each other and looked in the direction of the voice. Chris was standing there, looking at them with an unreadable expression.

“Hey, buddy, why aren’t you asleep?” Eddie tried to play it cool, but his voice was shaking and he was a little out of breath. He ran a hand through his disheveled hair and attempted a smile.

“I can’t sleep. Buck, can you read me another story?” he asked, and for a second Eddie thought maybe he somehow didn’t notice them making out. Which was not possible, but he could hope. 

“Sure.” Buck said, sounding similar to Eddie. Eddie looked at him and saw his red face and flushed lips. He wanted to kiss him again. “Just give me a second and I’ll be right there, okay?”

“Okay.” Chris smiled and turned around. “Oh, by the way.” he added, before starting to walk back to his room. “I’m happy that you two are finally together.”

Eddie and Buck looked at each other in shock. Why the hell would Christopher say that? They were pretty obvious to everyone else, apparently, but a ten year old kid? Well, he might have been more perceptive than Eddie gave him credit for.

“I guess I have to go read him a story.” Buck said, still not moving. 

“Yeah.” Eddie nodded. “I guess you do.” he took a deep breath, his eyes dropping down to Buck’s lips again. “And after you’re back, we will, uh, talk.” he said.

“Talk.” Buck repeated, sounding as if he has never heard that word before.

“Yeah, talk.” Eddie bit his lip, and Buck chuckled, leaving a quick lingering peck on Eddie’s lips.

“Sure. We’ll talk.” he got up. “I’ll be right back.”

And, well, after they made sure Christopher was really asleep this time, they sat down to talk. But it ended up with more making out, and promises that they surely will talk in the morning. 

They fell asleep cuddled on the couch, still half sitting, and their backs were killing them the next morning. Eddie thought it was more than worth it. Because now he got to kiss Buck whenever he wanted, hold his hand, just do all the couple-y things he had wished he could do. And he could tell Buck he loves him, and that was just such a weight off his shoulders that he was carrying for most part of the past couple of years. And the best thing was, his son was completely fine, or even more than happy, than Buck and Eddie were together now. 

***

“Hey, you know what?” Eddie asked a couple of days later, as they were cooking dinner together (well, Buck was cooking, Eddie was tasked with chopping the vegetables).

“What?” Buck asked, stirring in the pot.

“We got together on my birthday.” Eddie frowned.

“Yeah.” Buck looked back at him, an amused expression on his face. “So what? Are you scared that you’re only gonna get one gift from me?”

“No.” Eddie rolled his eyes. “But it’s not fair. Our anniversary should have its own day to celebrate it.”

“Anniversary? Wow, it’s only been a couple of days and you’re already a year ahead.” Buck teased, shaking his head. “How do you know it’s even gonna last?” he asked, but Eddie knew he was joking. They knew that what they had was special and they would fight to keep it. 

“Oh, shut up.” Eddie chuckled. “I just mean…” he drifted off. What did he mean?

“I personally like that it’s on your birthday.” Buck walked over to him. “That way our anniversary is just all the more special, because my second favorite person in the world was born on this day.” he hugged Eddie, hiding his face in his neck.

“Second?” Eddie scoffed, trying to sound offended.

“I mean, I love you, but Chris will forever be my number one.” Buck said and Eddie felt a fond smile tugging on his lips. He loved that Buck loved Christopher so much. 

“I love you.” Eddie said quietly, as Buck raised his head and left a quick kiss on Eddie’s lips. 

“So you’re gonna let this anniversary thing go?” Buck raised his eyebrows. “We can’t just choose another day, that would be cheating.”

“Cheating?” Eddie frowned, a small laugh escaping his lips.

“I would feel bad celebrating on another day.” he walked back over to the stove. “It would be a fake anniversary. Besides, one day maybe we’ll have one on a different day.” he added more quietly, and even shyly. And Eddie’s heartbeat sped up. Was Buck suggesting… that one day he would want to marry him? “But that’s far, far in the future.” Buck added quickly, laughing nervously. 

“Yeah.” Eddie breathed. They just got together, it was a long way to marriage. Although they were technically raising a kid together already… But Buck was right, that was way far in the future. That they will definitely have, because now that he had him, Eddie was not going to let go. 

“You done with that?” Buck gestured to the half-chopped vegetables in front of Eddie, as if the conversation didn’t happen. But he was still a bit red in the face. 

“No, give me a sec.” Eddie said, realizing that he was just standing there for the past few minutes, doing nothing. 

There was no rush. They had time. And they had each other. He could not be happier.

[buddiefamily]

This is a result of people insisting Eddie didn’t have a reaction. He did! He’s just not as expressive as Buck so it wasn’t visible from space.

I Got You, Always [read on ao3]

rating: explicit, no warnings apply, friends to lovers, protective eddie

Eddie had just taken most of his gear off when he heard Chimney ask: “Where’s Buck?”

As if they all didn’t know perfectly well where Buck was. He felt his body shake. With fear or anger, he wasn’t sure. He had plenty reason for both. He was fuming with fury at Buck’s parents for treating him like he didn’t matter, for making him feel like he was nothing better than defective parts, who does that to their child? He couldn’t help but be angry at Hen and Chimney too, for letting Buck separate from the rest of them, god knew Buck was in no state to even be working at all, let alone this, him alone. And he was scared, alright. He was terrified. Not that he’d ever show or admit to it, but he was. He was terrified for Buck, who more than anything needed to know he’s loved and appreciated. Not this, not being all by himself! How could they allow this?

In an attempt to hide his distress, his fear, he threw his hands up at Chimney and Hen in a gesture that said and you let him?

Then he heard Buck’s voice, reporting to the IC and he let out a sigh of relief, once again being able to breathe properly. Buck was okay.

But then he said he was surrounded, lost, and Eddie felt like his lungs would give out at any second. He looked at Bobby, pleading, he didn’t care anymore. They needed to go back in, they needed to get to Buck.

There was an explosion.

Eddie’s heart stopped.

Bobby gave a short nod, then they were all gearing up again, running towards the entrance. Eddie couldn’t will his legs to move fast enough. He knew it wasn’t humanly possible to run much faster with all the weight of his gear, but he had to try. And try he did, leaving the rest of his team a good few yards behind him, rushing to Buck as fast as he could.

When he saw him, finally, his first instinct was to make sure Buck was okay, that he wasn’t hurt, he wanted to hold Buck and to never let go. But there was a job to be done. So he only allowed himself half a second to collect his heart from where it was shattered all around him, then he got to work. His team was there, right behind him. He couldn’t be more thankful.

They were out of the building, Buck was sitting in the back of an ambulance, Bobby and Hen by his side. Eddie was aching to talk to Buck, more than anything he wanted to be the one by his side. But he wasn’t selfish. He knew what Buck needed right then, and it wasn’t him. What Buck needed was to hear that he had people who cared about him, people who would always be there for him, who he could rely on. So he let Bobby and Hen talk to Buck, then Athena – Eddie was so glad she was there, he knew how much her and Bobby meant to Buck – and all Eddie did was wait. He stood and watched, never once taking his eyes off Buck. He watched his expression shift from grief and guilt to something more content and calm and finally, when he talked to Athena, Eddie saw Buck smile.

Eddie was still worried. Maybe Buck was out of physical danger now, but that sure as hell didn’t mean he was okay. Still, he didn’t go over and talk to Buck, he didn’t trust himself to stay composed. He’d talk to him in the morning. Eddie knew that was selfish of him, but at least it was better than the alternative. Buck needed him to be strong, he’d be of no use if he talked to Buck now, he’d break down and cry. Neither of them needed that.

Eddie went home.

As much as he wished to hug his son, Chris was asleep already, so Eddie settled for a forehead kiss and a whispered I love you. He went to his own room, closing the door carefully behind him. Only then, in the privacy of his own bedroom, did he allow himself to let go. He wasn’t aware of making a conscious decision to move his body, but the next thing he knew he was curled on the floor, his breath coming out in short puffs. His eyes were burning with tears, he felt them streaming down his cheeks. His body shook. He heard a sob before he even realized it left his own mouth.

Later, when he could catch his breath again, he would wonder why he was so wrecked, so worried. He’d tell himself Buck was in no imminent danger, in no life-threatening situation. He’d stare at the wall, trying to figure out why his heart ached so much to see Buck doubt himself like he did earlier that day, then throw himself at the first opportunity to get hurt. His panic would rise once again for a moment, fearing that maybe that was Buck’s intention, to get hurt. He would remember his street fighting, how Buck knew immediately, how he paid attention. And then it would down on him, attention. That was what Buck wanted, needed, what he never got from his parents. So he learned to ask for it, it the craziest loudest ways possible, because that’s all that ever worked. Stealing the fire truck, the lawsuit, it all suddenly made sense. And Eddie’s heart would break again. For Buck who felt, no matter how loved he was, that people didn’t notice him, didn’t care. He would hate himself for not realizing sooner, for not being able to fix it. Eddie would sit on his bedroom floor for hours, asking himself why all this hurt so much, why Buck’s pain hurt him.

And the answer was right there, right in front of him, if he only listened to his heart.

The next morning, as he got ready to work, he stood in front of the mirror and swore to his reflection that he would stay composed. For Buck’s sake. And he would have done it, he really had faith in himself. But then Buck’s parents showed up at the firehouse, and Eddie lost every tiny fiber of his cool.

Screw composed; Eddie had a lot to say.

What made him even angrier was that everyone else seemed so unbothered by their presence, even Chimney who must have known better than anyone what kind of people they were. Yet he just sat with them, narrating Buck’s heroic rescues, one after another. Eddie couldn’t listen to it anymore.

“Your son is a hero, in every sense of the word,” he said, his voice firm. The silence that suddenly surrounded them was deafening. He could fell all eyes on him. He didn’t care. He continued: “He’s a hero, but he had never once in his life felt like one.”

“Eddie-” Hen tried to warn him, to stop him, knowing full well where the conversation would go. Eddie didn’t even acknowledge her.

“Your son is the most selfless, caring, compassionate person I know. I doubt he learned any of that from you.”

There was a gasp, Mrs. Buckley nearly jumped out of her chair, no doubt ready to defend herself, to find some half-hearted excuse.

“He loves so freely, he gives everything he has to others, yet he never feels seen, appreciated,” Eddies voice was still firm, even as he struggled to catch his breath, “loved.”

He looked around. Most people have left the floor, only Hen and Chim were still hanging around. For whose sake, he wasn’t quite sure. He looked back to Mr. and Mrs. Buckley, half expecting an argument, something like but we love him.

It never came. Instead-

“Tell us about him.”

He must have heard wrong.

“You seem to care about Evan a great deal, why don’t you tell us what he’s like?” Mr. Buckley was looking at him expectantly. He felt anger rise in his chest. These people didn’t deserve to be a part of Buck’s life. But he caught Hen’s gaze, stern, and he sighed. Fine. But he would do it his way.

“Buck,” he emphasized, “his name is Buck.”

When Buck arrived with Bobby, announcing a clean bill of health, Eddie once again wished he could hold Buck and never let go. But his captain was there, the rest of his team at his heel, just like always. It had to wait.

So instead, he joked.

“Show-off.”

And Buck’s smile was worth every bit of the pain he felt.

“I had to do it,” Buck told him, as if Eddie didn’t already know that. He couldn’t help but smile too.

“I knew you did,” he replied, because every little reassurance he could give to Buck, he would.

They just stood there for a moment, easy silence between them, then Eddie’s expression changed. Buck could tell right away. How he read Eddie so easily sometimes, it was almost scary.

“You got some visitors,” he told Buck and watched his face fall as he realized the implication.

Once again, all Eddie could do was wait. He watched Buck disappear up the stairs, hoping he’d get his moment to spend with Buck after. But then he announced he was going to see Maddie and all Eddie could say to him before he left was: “I’m here for you if you need me.”

Then he was all alone in his house again, Chris fast asleep by the time he got home from his shift. He wished Carla goodnight, waved her off when she offered to stay with him, insisted he was fine.

This time he didn’t make it to the bedroom before he felt his chest tighten and the tears warm on his cheeks. He was alone anyway, it didn’t matter. Except maybe he was less alone than he thought.

There was a knock on the door.

Before he could even stand up from his spot on the couch, he heard the key turn in the lock and the door opened, revealing Buck. Eddie rushed to him, wiping his tears as best as he could without Buck noticing.

“You said you’d be here when I needed you,” Buck said, his eyes fixed on his shoes. Eddie opened his mouth to reassure him that he would, always, but then Buck continued, and Eddie could only stare.

“I’m sorry, Eddie, I should have realized what that meant. I should have known that was you asking to see me.”

At that Eddie couldn’t hold his tears any longer.

“No, Buck, that’s not what I meant. I did want to see you, because I never got to talk to you yesterday, but I would never ask that of you, not when you have your own problems to worry about.” Eddie stepped closer, taking hold of Buck’s hands, he needed him to understand this wasn’t about him.

“I know, Eds, that’s exactly why I should have known.” Buck looked so devastated. He went to hell and back with his family and the factory fire, yet here he was, worrying about Eddie.

So Eddie tried to explain to him, how it didn’t matter what he felt, how Buck was his priority now. And Buck just laughed. A soft honest laugh. Eddie felt his chest tighten, this time the feeling was different. Warm.

“It’s not a competition, you know,” he said, then walked to the couch, still holding onto Eddie’s hands, dragging him along, “we can be here for each other.”

Eddie pulled him in for a hug. Buck wrapped his hands around Eddie’s waist, holding on for dear life. Buck really did need him, Eddie realized. He held on just as tight, one hand around Buck’s shoulders, the other in his hair, stroking lightly.

“I got you,” he whispered. Now that he finally had Buck in his arms, he wasn’t gonna let go. Thankfully, it seemed Buck agreed with that sentiment, not letting go of Eddie’s waist even as they sat down on the couch.

After a moment of silence, Buck said: “Hen told me you yelled at my parents.” He didn’t sound angry, so Eddie didn’t apologize. He didn’t know what else to say, luckily he didn’t have to because Buck continued, his tone lighter now: “Thank you. Although I do wonder what you told them. My mother said you were a keeper, any idea what she meant by that?”

Eddie went red in the face.

“I showed them pictures of you and Chris, she- she must have assumed,” Eddie stammered, pulling away from Buck, “I’m so sorry, Buck, I swear I didn’t-”

Buck’s grip on Eddie’s hips tightened, not letting him go too far.

“It’s okay, Eddie.” Buck’s voice was so calm, there was a small smile on his lips. Eddie was speechless. Once again, it didn’t matter, because Buck spoke again: “Thank you.”

Eddie stared at Buck, his eyes roaming Buck’s face, searching for answers. Why did he suddenly feel so warm with Buck’s hands on him, why did his heart beat like crazy, why were his hands shaking as he reached to touch Buck again? This time, when the answer stared him in the face, quite literally, he didn’t try to hide, to run away.

He wasn’t brave enough to say the words, so he leaned in and placed a soft kiss on Buck’s forehead. Buck, who watched Eddie tuck Chris into bed more times than he could count, knew exactly what it meant. He wrapped his hands around Eddie in a crushing embrace, and whispered against his ear: “Me too, Eddie.” Then he felt Buck’s lips at his jaw, and as much as he wanted to stay in Buck’s embrace for the rest of eternity, there was something else he was dying to do.

So he pulled back, only to lean back in and finally, finally, kissed Buck’s lips.

Buck’s hands were on his face in an instant, holding gently, his thumbs caressing his cheeks softly. His lips were just as soft, careful, moving painfully slowly against Eddie’s. But there was no rush, Eddie told himself, he could enjoy this. So he did. He kissed Buck with just a little more pressure, he gripped Buck’s shoulders just that bit tighter, finally understanding why his heart always felt heavy and light at the same time when he was with Buck. He let Buck kiss him back any way he wanted, he let Buck bite at his lower lip, let his tongue trace his lip, against his tongue, and he felt his heart fill with warmth and explode over and over. He kissed Buck’s jaw, leaving a trail of kisses down his neck to his collarbones. Buck’s hands were on Eddie’s skin now, his shirt pulled up by Buck’s curious fingers. Eddie felt Buck’s fingernails running gently up and down his lower back and he shivered, letting out a sigh.

“You like that?” Buck asked him, his voice deep and raspy. His nails were now firmer on Eddie’s back, more insistent. He moaned. And that was all the answer Buck needed.

His lips were on Eddie’s again, his hands never leaving Eddie’s back. Even when – after making sure that’s what Eddie wanted – he was taking off Eddie’s shirt, he managed to keep one hand on his hip. Eddie wasn’t sure if it was meant to reassure or tease him, either way he was thankful. Buck only let go to take his own shirt off, and even that short moment left Eddie feeling cold and alone. Then Buck’s hands were all over him, as if he couldn’t get enough of Eddie’s skin, as if holding Eddie forever wouldn’t be enough.

They made their way to the bedroom, only stopping once to make out against the wall, Eddie pressing his body against Buck’s, feeling Buck’s erection at his hip. After that, it was only thanks to Buck’s strong hands pushing him away and towards the bedroom, that they even made it there. Then the door was closed behind them and Buck’s hands were on Eddie’s hips, pushing his sweatpants down and off, along with his underwear. Eddie tried to do the same for Buck, struggling with his belt buckle, until Buck took pity on him and took the rest of his clothes off himself.

Eddie was pushing him towards the bed, crawling on top of him. Their bodies were flush against each other’s, nothing but skin on skin.  Eddie was breathless. For once, it was a good feeling. He looked at Buck, who looked back at him, waiting. Buck was waiting for Eddie to make a move, to set the pace, Buck was giving him a go-ahead for anything he wanted. But Eddie couldn’t do that, couldn’t possibly do something – anything – if he wasn’t entirely sure that’s what Buck wanted. So he asked: “What do you want, Buck?”

“Anything,” he replied, his voice low, “everything.”

And that wasn’t very helpful to Eddie. But if Buck wanted everything, he sure as hell would deliver. And if in the process he could get Buck to tell him what he really wanted, well, that would only be a bonus.

So he leaned down, his elbows supporting his weight, and he kissed Buck slowly. He let his lips ghost over Buck’s until he felt Buck trying to press closer, only then did he allow for an actual kiss. He licked and sucked at Buck’s lips, his hands on each side of Buck’s torso, not touching. He tried to ignore Buck’s hard cock pressing against his, he held his hips still. Buck’s hands were on Eddie’s back again, his nails digging in and it was almost enough for Eddie to abandon his plan and let Buck have anything, everything.

But he didn’t budge. Instead, he took hold of both Buck’s wrists and brought them above his head, holding them against the pillow with one of his hands. The other hand he used to prop himself us so that his hips weren’t touching Buck’s.

Buck groaned it frustration but said nothing. So Eddie kissed his neck, both his shoulders, sucked a hickey right over where his heart was, all the while still holding Buck’s wrists. And Buck made all the sounds Eddie never even thought to dream about. And he tried to move his hips, tried to free his hands to touch Eddie, but Eddie was having none of that.

“Stay still,” he demanded in the most authoritative tone he could muster in the moment, “and keep your hands where they are.” It seemed to work like magic, Buck went perfectly still and when Eddie let go of Buck’s wrists, his hands didn’t move an inch. Eddie nodded approvingly, then went to trail kisses down Buck’s chest and stomach. When he got all the way to his hips, he sucked a mark on each side, making Buck moan, struggling to stay still. Eddie moved lower; he could feel Buck hold his breath in anticipation.

Ignoring Buck’s erection, Eddie kissed down his thigh.

“Eddie,” Buck sighed in frustration.

Eddie traced his lips to Buck’s knee, then took hold of his ankle and moved Buck’s leg so that it was bent. He kissed Buck’s knee again, then moved his lips and tongue and teeth to Buck’s inner thigh. He heard Buck take in a sharp breath, he heard him try to muffle his sighs by biting his lip. When he worked his way almost all the way up Buck’s thigh, Eddie felt him hold his breath again.

Eddie switched to Buck’s other leg, repeating the process, dragging it out even more. His own dick was achingly hard, but he focused on Buck instead. Kissing and nibbling at the sensitive skin of Buck’s thigh. Buck’s sighs and groans were a mixture of pleasure and frustration, until finally Eddie heard him say: “Eddie, please!”

That was his cue.

He stopped licking at Buck’s skin, pulled away, and looked up at Buck asking with fake innocence: “Please, what?”

“Fuck me,” was what Buck said.

Eddie couldn’t even congratulate himself on how easy that was, he felt a shiver run all the way through him.

“That’s not exactly how I prefer to call it, but…”

He reached for his bedside table, taking out lube and a condom, then climbed over to Buck again. Their eyes locked, Eddie could see Buck’s lips twitch, trying not to smile. Apparently, Eddie wasn’t the only one playing a game here.

“Make love to me, Eddie.”

And that was it for him, he couldn’t hold back any longer. He grabbed the bottle of lube and squeezed out what was probably too much, but he couldn’t care less. He pressed a slick finger against Buck’s hole, not quite pressing in just yet, just circling around.

Buck moaned. The sound made Eddie’s head spin. He pressed his finger in gently, watching Buck’s face to make sure he wasn’t hurting him in any way. He moved his finger carefully in and out until Buck asked formore Eddie please I need more. He added another finger, his other hand holding Buck’s hip gently but firmly. Then it was three of Eddie’s fingers inside Buck and the only words leaving Buck’s mouth was a mantra of please please please as Eddie’s fingers brushed his prostate over and over. When he pulled out his fingers, Buck made a sound at the loss, almost like a sob. Eddie kissed his stomach.

“I got you,” he promised.

He struggled with the condom for longer than he’d wish to admit, his hands shaking. Once he figured it out, he reached for the lube again, coating his cock, then tossing the bottle somewhere by the foot of the bed. He leaned over Buck who was looking at him with so much love in his face Eddie nearly passed out. He positioned himself between Buck’s legs, pressing his cock against Buck’s already slick hole. He placed his hands on Buck’s hips and pushed in. Buck’s eyes closed, his hands tangled in the pillows, still trying to stay still. Eddie leaned in to kiss him softly.

“You can touch me, Buck,” he whispered.

Buck let out the biggest sigh of relief, his hands going to Eddie’s shoulders immediately. Eddie kept their bodies pressed flush against each other’s as he moved his hips, his lips never once leaving Buck’s skin. He pushed in and out slowly, listening to Buck’s sighs and moans, his ear right next to Buck’s lips. As much as Buck seemed to be content with their slow pace, Eddie wanted more. He sped up his thrusts, only just enough so that Buck picked up on it, could stop him if he wanted to. He didn’t. He pushed his hips up to meet Eddie’s, gripping his shoulders tight for leverage.

That little change in angle was all it took, Eddie now hitting Buck’s prostate with each thrust. Buck had to press his lips against Eddie’s in an attempt not to scream. Eddie held onto Buck, kissing back messily, he felt his own orgasm approaching.

“Eddie-” Buck pulled away; spoke to warn Eddie he was close. Eddie kissed the corner of his lips.

“I got you,” he said again, then sped up his thrusts even more, angling his hips just right. Buck came, burying his lips in Eddie’s shoulder to silence himself. Eddie followed short after, collapsing on top of Buck.

After they were cleaned up and cuddled on the bed, this time under the covers, Buck’s head on Eddie’s chest, Eddie’s hands wrapped around Buck protectively, Eddie teased: “A keeper, huh?”

Buck laughed. He kissed Eddie’s jaw.

“You definitely are a keeper,” Buck said with a soft smile, then added, “thanks again, for standing up for me. I really appreciate it.”

And Eddie just looked at him fondly.

“I got you, always.”

[dirt-cup-draco]

Edmund x Reader- Homecoming

Can I please request an edmund x reader when his wife’s waiting for him to come home from battle with their little daughter? Thanks!

Dearest,

I will be returning within the week, but the day is uncertain. It all depends on weather and the multitude of Peter’s whining. In the peaceful years he grew too used to regular bathing it seemed and he gets grumpy if he can’t drink a glass of wine and take a hot bath. 

You laughed at your husband’s letter, your heart jumping about in your chest pleasantly. It was his letters that helped the time pass by quickly. He had been absent for three months and to know you only had to wait a few more days had you full of energy. So much so that the hours seemed to go doubly slow. You had never known longer days.

“Read more! Does he say hello to me?” Your daughter, Anastasia, encouraged as she sat tucked against your side, eyes gleaming just like Edmund’s. Besides the shade of her hair and the slope of her nose, she was Edmund’s copy. His greatest joy. Holding the letter out in front of you once more, you skimmed over the page. There were some things that your six year old didn’t need to know in all of her boundless curiosity. You made a mental note to reread the letter alone and see what he was expressing without words, you were certain the unavoidable casualties of battle would be weighing on him heavily. 

I miss you more than words can express my queen, my love, my wife. I keep the pendant that was gifted to me for Christmas close to my heart and I look at it every day to bring me luck and soothe my aching bones. I wasn’t as young as I used to be and sleeping on the ground in those blasted tents have ruined my knees. 

“Get to the part where he talks about me!” Anastasia demanded and you couldn’t hold back your laughter at her eagerness. 

“Patience my dear,” You reminded, planting a kiss on the top of her head as she started to squirm, craning her neck to try and pick out the words that she had been learning. You were reminded for the millionth time that she was growing quickly. How you wished Edmund had been hope these past few months to see her excel in her studies.

Hmm... I think that is all that has to be said for today. I don’t think I’m forgetting anything. 

“Me, father, you’ve forgotten me!” Anastasia pouted, pouncing up and down in her seat on your bed, worried that Edmund was going to end his letter without addressing her. 

“Of course he hasn’t Ana, he’s only being an old fool,” You knew better and got her settled back down. 

Oh! That is right. Hello darling Ana, have you been good to your mother? I could never forget you sweetheart, I’m only being an old fool. Your mom thinks I’m funny. Aunt Suzy, Lucy and Uncle Petey say hello. 

You saw the hesitation marks in his writing when addressing his siblings. Anastasia had thought Peter too silly and Susan too stuffy. It seemed she had no qualms with Lucy but you were sure she just couldn’t find a way to shorten it. She’d even called her own father Eddie once. Oh, how he’d scowled. The memory warmed your cheeks with fondness. 

I miss you terribly and I can’t wait to see you this coming week. I’ve got you a gift for your birthday but I think it’d be better to keep it as a surprise. I hope you haven’t gotten any taller, otherwise you’ll pass up your mother and I in no time. I shall see you soon my princess, don’t get into too much trouble while I’m gone. You know I hate to miss out.

Love you both and see you soon.

Anastasia took the letter into her hands, peering at the bottom of the paper like more writing might appear. Content that you hadn’t missed any message written for her she set it back in your hands and you folded it up neatly, placing it into the box where you kept all of Edmund’s letters from the time you two had starting courting to long after your marriage. 

Your fingers skimmed the tops of the yellowing pages and envelopes, some torn at the corner and some, like the one you’d just received, still in good condition. You had reread nearly everything in here four times over, some more and some less, but you had grown sentimental in your time apart from Edmund and every day had you missing him more. 

“Mother I’m hungry,” Your daughter chimed up, hovering at the doorway to your bedroom. 

With a shake of your head and a smile you took her hand in yours, leading her to the kitchens as dinner approached. You hoped you wouldnt have to eat too many more meals without Edmund by your side.

--

“Mommy! Up! Up!” Sang Anastasia as she leapt about on your bed, nightgown getting caught underneath her feet as she collapsed somewhere near your head. 

“Ana, darling girl, what time is it?” You groaned into your pillow, sunlight streaming in through your windows as you shut your eyes tight against the sudden sensations of being awake. You had been dreaming pleasantly of being held by your husband, your six year old still blissfully asleep. 

“Morning time!” She grinned a toothy grin, eyes squeezed tight as she tried to smile her brightest. “The trumpets are playing outside of town! Someone rang the bell!” 

You shot upright, a shot of adrenaline coursing in you to wake you up fully. Grabbing the girl’s shoulders you looked into her large eyes. “Are you certain?” 

“Yes, yes, yes!” She giggled, bouncing back up to her feet when you let go, jumping from your bed as you stared after her, the little girl leaving the room without so much as a look back.

“Be careful!” You scolded gently as you tossed your sheets to the side, rushing to your closet to throw on the nearest thing. You wanted to spend time and look nice for your husband but Ana was already on the run and if you wanted to catch her in time you would have to speed up your morning routine as you had been doing.  A simple blue dress sufficed, you remember Edmund liking it, and you tied your hair back. Pinching your cheeks and splashing your face with some water from the basin, you were ready-ish. It would have to do. 

“Ana!” You raced from your room, finding her tugging on one of the maid’s skirts with a bright gleam on her face. 

“Is it true madam, the kings and queens are nearly to the castle?” The maid asked and you couldn’t help the smile that graced your face and hurt your cheeks. 

“Yes Lilian, my daughter won’t let anyone hear the end of it it seems. Thank you for catching her,” 

“She caught me, madam,” Lilian laughed and you scooped Anastasia up, settling her on your hip with a grunt. You wouldn’t be able to do this by the time her next birthday came. 

“Its time to get you washed up,” 

Ignoring her whinings you brushed her hair back for her, leaving it down because she got horrible headaches when you put it up in anything other than a low ponytail. You let her pick her favorite dress and a butterfly necklace that Susan had made for her a few years prior. 

The playing of the trumpets grew closer, the kingdom celebrating the return of their beloved royals and family. You hadn’t realized that the troops had also been in tow as you looked out the window to see the crowds slowly growing smaller as the soldiers went home. Soon it would just be Edmund and his siblings and a handful of men on horseback, coming to the castle they called home. 

Anastasia hopped in her shoes and her hair had already grown knotted in the back but she looked delightful. “Should we go and meet him?” You suggested and she nodded, her grip on your hand growing as she dragged you along with her. As demanding as the man you’d married and just as adorable. 

The cobblestone beneath you echoed your every step and made you conscious of just how near you were to Edmund. You could practically feel the horses trotting, the vibrations traveling. Your ears perked up as you picked out the sounds of voices just a bit further and as you and Ana took two more paces, you could see your husband and in laws sitting proudly on their horses despite the exhaustion that hung from them. 

“Daddy!” Ana cheered, but stayed with her hand in yours. You had warned her to not run at the horses in case she spooked them. Edmund’s head snapped up from the daydream he had put himself in at the sound of his child’s voice and a smile that took away your breath appeared on his lips. 

He hopped off of Phillip and started at a sprint for the two of you. You released Anastasia’s hand and she held her arms before you, Edmund scooping her up with ease as she wrapped her arms around his neck and squeezed by the looks of his eyes widening every so slightly. His large hand skated up and down her back and tears stayed trapped glazing over his eyes. 

Ten more paces and your husband was standing before you with rosy cheeks and misty eyes, Ana hanging from his neck with her legs wrapped around his waist. 

“Hello my love,” He spoke and the butterflies in your stomach erupted, fluttering about and making your knees weak. Edmund slowly set Anastasia down even as she protested. Instead, she clung to his leg while he opened his arms to embrace you. 

“Never leave again,” You demanded, choked up as you refused to let the tears fall. 

“Oh surely our little princess hasn’t caused that much trouble,” He teased fondly and you pinched his butt in retaliation. 

“Hush, you know how much I’ve missed you,” You scolded gently as he pulled away to place a lingering kiss against your cheek.

“I think I can take a guess. I’ve missed my girls” He let his eyes flutter shut, your thumb passing over the wrinkles at the side of his eyes. He looked tired but he looked content. “If all has gone to plan, I won’t be having to leave again,” 

Edmund drew you back into his arms and you sighed a deep sigh of relief. Finally, he was home again and so were you. 

Tag List: @angelinathebook @thehumanistsdiary @cleopatera

[clairecrive]

“All the time in the world”- Bob Saginowski x reader

I’m honestly so happy with the response of the Bronson piece! I love you guys so much <3 so here’s a little Bob fluff that never hurts. Also, this is my first time writing him so if he sounds a little bit off that’s why. 

Tag list: @mollybegger-blog​, @br0ck-eddie​, @of-love-and-of-the-sea​, @evelynshelby​, @deaflikehawkeye​, @shadow-of-wonder​, @fandom--0verdose​, @sopxhiea​, @innerpaperexpertcloud​, @fuseburner​ (let me know if you wanna be added or removed)

You did it. You finally had sex with him. You had only been going out for a while, a couple of weeks, maybe a month. However, you had known Bob for way longer. You were a regular at his bar, either with your groups of friends or by yourself. That would be the case in which you had met Bob, well you actually had talked to him. When you were tipsy, you tended to marvel about the stupidest things out loud. Bob thought you were amusing and decided to humour you. That had led to a really long talk and long walk home since you were drunk and he refused to let you go home alone. Then one night when you were there on your own, he told you that his shift had ended early and asked if you wanted to grab a bite with him.

From that moment you began unofficially dating. You would see each other every other day and not only at the bar where he worked. Then after the third date, before you could climb off his pick up, he kissed you sealing the deal. Seems like you were dating then. 

You would be lying if you said that you didn’t like him. Well, of course you did, otherwise, you wouldn’t be dating him. However, your feelings were shifting from “like” to something more. And that bothered you to no end. You didn’t get attached to boys. Especially those who you had been seeing for less than a month. Nothing good ever comes from that. You were a pro at hiding your feelings. Been doing it for so long that you felt now unable to suppress these feelings any longer. 

That was going to be a problem.

 It was way too soon to feel like you did and even sooner to let him know. But you couldn’t go on this way anymore. Seemed like the sex only brought it up and made it impossible for you to ignore. You were laying down next to him, Bob had dozed off and your mind had gone wild. Suddenly, it was all becoming too much for you and you felt like you needed to leave. Without giving it a second thought, you began to pick up your clothes and got dressed quickly. 

When you were about to leave his room, something made you stop and look at him. Sprawled over the sheets half-naked, his face restful and peaceful, he looked so innocent. Bob had always been good to you and this was how you were going to repay him? By acting like one of those assholes in those rom coms that you hated? You couldn’t leave like this and you knew it. You owed him at least to tell him something. So, before leaving, you looked for a pen and a piece of paper and left him a note. 

“I need to sort myself out and think things through. Last night was amazing though. Don’t take this personally because you have done nothing wrong.”

Those were the words that met Bob when he opened his eyes. Waking up to an empty and cold bed wasn’t what he was expecting and your words left him even more dumbfounded. Despite what you said, he couldn’t help but wonder if he had done something wrong. Furrowing his eyebrows, he quickly went through your time spent together. He was totally clueless though because he genuinely thought that everything was going great between you. Apparently, he had been blind because they were not. He wondered if he needed to give you some space but thought against it. The only way to solve this was by talking things through. Even if it meant breaking up. So he got dressed quickly and headed over your house. After climbing the stairs of your patio, he was about to ring the bell when your voice met his ears. It came from the back of the house. Walking towards it, he stopped just before he came into view when he overheard something interesting.

“So you left him in bed, after your first time together, because you’re afraid?” Your friend's Nadia incredulous voice met his ears.

“I know, I know, I’m a terrible person.” You groaned but your voice came out muffled and peeking from his hideout, he saw that you hid it in your palms.

“I’m sorry but I don’t understand, what are you afraid of?”

“Haven’t you heard a word I said?” Now it was you who was incredulous. It seemed like you two had been talking for a while.

“I did but it’s all bullshit it you ask me.” Nadia sassed earning a glare from you.

“I can’t tell him how I feel Nadia, I’ll scare him away.” you sighed sounding defeated.

“Well, I think you’ve already accomplished that by running away after sex,” she pointed out and when she received your you’re not helping look, she continued, “you should talk to him y/n, really. It’ll solve everything.”

“I know, I know that communication is the key to every healthy relationship but I… I just can’t.” Shaking your head you let it hang from the backrest of the swing you were sitting on.

“Talking to him means that I need to explain why I left and that would lead to my feelings for him, which he can’t know about yet,” you continued sighing, eyes looking up to the sky.

“You had no problem talking about it with me,” Nadia pointed out scrolling her shoulders.

“Are you dumb? That’s different,” you retorted snapping your head in her direction, “if I tell him that I think I love him, he’ll run away!” exclaiming, your expression resembled one of those teachers after they had repeated the same thing for the hundredth time and their students still weren’t grasping it. “It’s been three weeks Nadia, it’s way too soon for the “L” word,” defeated your head went back on the backrest. “Besides, who’s to say that he’s even looking for a serious relationship? He’s really busy with work, he has a lot on his plate right now.” You didn’t believe that. Bob could hear it in your tone and so could Nadia. Both knew you very well.

“Bob doesn’t strike me as someone who’s seeking a one night stand or something temporary.” And in fact, he wasn't. Everyone who knew him was aware of that. It was as plain as day even for Nadia that didn’t know Bob that well.

“Maybe I should just put both of us out of our misery and break up with him,” was your totally unrelated consideration. 

“Are you out of your mind? God, what does your mind tell you? You’re in love with the guy and you want to break up with him?” Bob shook his head at your total illogical thought process while Nadia looked completely confused by you. She was having none of it, what the hell.

“This is not what I signed for when we started dating, Nadia. This got way too serious way too fast,” looking at her you defended yourself. “Look at me! I’m here worrying about a guy when I promised myself I never was going to again.”

“Bob’s not the problem here. For all we know, he could be in love with you too and be heartbroken that you run away-” Nadia wasn’t able to finish her sentence.

“Please,” you scoffed, “have you met me? Why would he love me? And stop saying that I’ve run away, I’ve left him a note,” huffing out annoyed at your friend, both of them knew that they were getting closer to the true motive of your actions.

“-what I think it’s the problem here is you and your inability to let yourself go and feel your emotions instead of repressing them,” now it was her time to interrupt you.

“I hate that you know me so well,” you whisper under your breath, “I just- I don’t want to put myself in that vulnerable position again where he can hurt me.” And here it is, thought Bob. This was the problem then.

“Everyone’s bound to get hurt once in a while y/n, that’s life. And you ought to live it to the fullest and not repress every feeling and avoid any deep connection. You’re missing out on a lot, plus, it’s not healthy,” Nadia observed with wisdom that Bob would have never associated with her. But she had a point.

“If you think that it’s too soon to confess your feelings for him then don’t. Show him instead,” she added when you didn’t say anything.

“I’ve been doing that for the past week. Smothering him with kisses and affection, romantic dinners and shit that I’ve always despised in movies. I went over his bar often and stuff. He probably thinks I’m clingy now and he’s fed up with me,” you confessed listing with the help of your fingers.

“Sounds to me you just stopped being distant and started being a loving girlfriend,” Nadia commented with a patronizing smile. “Oh, and he probably already knows too. He’s very attentive and he knows you so…” Scrolling her shoulders she stated what she thought was pretty obvious while she observed your face scrunch up in desperation.

“It’s only been three weeks goddammit, why am I feeling this way?”

“Time is relative y/n. Stop worrying about it too much. Couples have married after two weeks of dating.” Nadia pointed out thinking to help her case but she got the opposite reaction from you.

“That’s madness,” you spat with wide eyes. 

The two girls continued talking but Bob had heard enough. As Nadia said, he had noticed the change in behavior and despite what you thought, he had thoroughly enjoyed it. But he had also been wondering what had caused it. Now he knew. Deciding to pick up Nadia’s advice, he turned around and headed back home. He knew how to solve this. He was just going to show you.

At home, Bob prepared a nice dinner. Nothing too complicated but he knew you liked it. He wasn’t good with words and apparently neither were you when it came to your feelings. So he needed to find another way. And he thought that paying attention to the details in a way that showed how much he cared, was the right one.

Show, don’t tell.

That was what he was going to do. Since the very first time you two had eaten together, you had always been very passionate about food. Bob was a much better bartender than he was a cook, hence his occupation, but he tried anyway to deliver a delicious meal. Your favourite nonetheless. From what he’d gathered, it was best for him to take matters into his own hands. Otherwise, if he had to wait for you, he’d probably wait a long time. So he sent you a text, mentioning the homemade diner he asked if you would join him. As he predicted, you’d said yes. You’d never turn down an invitation where food was involved. That alone showed how much Bod knew you. Surely, he wouldn’t pay so much attention to someone he didn’t care about, right? He thought your reservations were fair. He understood where you were coming from. On the other hand, he thought it was very clear his stand on relationships, yours in particular. Apparently not. He was to rectify that soon though.

When dinner time came around, you parked in front of Bob’s house right on time. He had probably heard you pull up because when you walked to his door you saw that it was open and Rocco was waiting for you on the threshold.

“Hello, you handsome boy,” you cooed at his cute little face giving him some well-deserved belly rubs until you noticed that he was holding something in his mouth. Gently pulling it out of his mouth, you saw that it was a folded piece of paper. 

It said:

“Please don’t run away like that again. If you don’t talk to me then how is this going to work?”

As you let the words sink in, your eyes flickered to Rocco who was now looking at you with his head tilted to the side. The pang of guilt was impossible to avoid and you knew that this dinner wasn’t going to be like any other. 

Closing the door behind you, you made your way through the hallway that leads to the kitchen expecting to find Bob dealing with your food. And there he was.

The table was already set, two sweet-scented candles were lit and he had just set your plates down when you walked into the room. You lingered near the door for a bit, not knowing what mood he was going to be in. You had left after having sex with him after all.  Still drying his hands with a cloth, he turned to where you were standing and as if he felt your insecurity, Bob gave you a small smile. 

Feeling a little more confident in yourself you crossed the room to meet him before you’d sit down at the table. 

“Hi,” you started shyly.

“Hi, babe,” two words and he managed to make you swoon. Oh, how you loved this man.

“I’m so so sorry for this morning, I-” he didn’t let you continue and you were secretly grateful for it ‘cause you would have probably made a mess.

“I know,” he reassured you holding you gently by the waist.

“You know?” How could he possibly know?

“I get that you have reservations when it comes to relationships, I do too,” he shared putting a strand of hair behind your ear.

“You do?” If you weren’t so damn confused by what was going on, you were sure you’d have punched yourself for being so stupid.

“Of course. I have been alone for a long time. Being in a relationship after a while can be difficult.” Gently cradling your face in his hands, he added, “But I want you to know that you can always talk to me.”

“I’m scared that what I’m going to say to you will make you run away from me. And I kinda like you so I don’t want that to happen,” you confessed quietly. He was so close to you now that you could whisper and he would hear. Somehow it made it easier to talk.

“I won’t,” he promised and you believed him. Why? Good question, it’s just one of those things that you just know. 

“I just-,” how were you going to tell him? “my feelings for you scare me,” by just saying it, you figured.

“You don’t have to tell me anything right now. Just know that we can turn that fear into assurance. I and Rocco are always up for some cuddles, aren’t we buddy?” And as if on cue, Rocco barked agreeing with his favourite human. You couldn’t help but giggle in happiness, you were really a lucky gal.

“Now let’s go eat. The food is getting cold.” And with that both your minds were at ease, ready to enjoy the night together. Yes, there were some things that needed to be discussed still but you had all the time in the world for that. It seemed that neither you not Bob had any intention to leave.

[good-doctor-imagine]

Crush (Bill Denbrough)

Pairing: Bill Denbrough x Reader

Summary: Bill doubts that you like him because you’re flirty around everyone but Richie is determined to prove him differently.

Requested by anon: “hii! could you do a fic where bill has a huge crush on the reader and reader is very flirty w/ everyone and the losers are trying to get bill to ask y/n out? i was also thinking about using the prompts “Wow, a great idea, but I’d rather die.”, “OH you’re jealous!”, and “Are you flirting with me?” “You finally noticed?” ty”

Word Count: 3.4k

Warning(s): swearing, mention of parents arguing, the word daddy, not proofread

Bill could not be more obvious when it comes to his crush on you. Every time you talked to him, his face would light up like his tree on Christmas. His stutter would be significantly worse to the point where he has to take a breather. When you were ever in the vicinity, he would just stare at you longingly.

His crush on you might be a surprise to some. You weren’t necessarily a part of the losers club but you were nice enough to talk to them. Bill made it a point to apologize to you every time someone gave you trouble for hanging out around them, but you always brushed it off. You weren’t that worried about your image anyway, you just wanted to have fun with friends.

Any time you sat with the losers club at lunch it would always be hectic. You were known for being a bit flirty interacting with others. Instead of being reserved like a lot of people, you were pretty hands-on.

“Oh, Richie is this a new shirt?” Without thinking, your hand came up and grabbed the collar of Richie’s floral-patterned button-up, rubbing it between your fingers.

“Yeah, sweetheart. You like it?”

“It looks cute on you,” You smiled back, a giggle leaving your throat before you retracted your hand.

While you weren’t best friends with Richie, both of your personalities mixed well when you were with each other. You both would try to one-up each other somehow when it came to flirting but you would always change the subject if Richie started making crude jokes.

Along with your physical affection, a few months ago you decided to give all of the losers their own pet name. Eddie’s is cutie, Richie’s is handsome, Ben’s is angel, Stanley’s is prince, and Mike’s is hot stuff. When Beverly lived in Derry, you would always call her love.

To his dismay, Bill didn’t really get a pet name. You always used different ones: babe, sugar, pumpkin, precious, literally anything you came up with. Bill would be lying if he said he wasn’t at least a bit jealous when it came to the affection you showed the rest of the losers.

Bill wasn’t in the best of moods and the rest of the losers noticed. Stanley attempted to cheer him up a bit but he didn’t really know what was wrong with him. That was until you met them. They were in the losers clubhouse when you decided to climb in. They were a bit surprised because they only showed you the location once but you managed to memorize the way there. Plus, Richie secretly invited you to spend time with them that day.

“Hey sweet cheeks, glad you could make it,” Richie grinned, head peeking over his comic book.

You smiled back at him. “Thanks for inviting me, Handsome.”

Although he was happy (albeit a bit nervous) that you were there, Richie’s pet name made his eyes roll. His mood was dropping by the second. Richie made sure to keep his eye on Bill as you made your way towards him.

“What’cha doing?” You asked Bill, leaning over his shoulder to see what he was writing.

His face started to heat up as he angled his arm to cover some of the paper. Bill didn’t want you to read what he was writing, even if you liked it. There was always the possibility of you not enjoying it or lying that you did.

In the other corner of the room, Richie was smiling widely but hid his face behind the comic book he was pretending to read. Step one was complete.

“Hey, sweet cheeks, want to read with me?”

Just like that, Bill’s face was drained of color, all of the red beginning to form disappeared. Your head swiveled towards Richie, to see what he was talking about. You were almost hesitant with your actions, your hand lingering on the back of Bill’s chair as you left.

Richie didn’t even try to hide his grin when you sat next to him in the hammock, the small space making you sit practically on top of him. You sat with Richie for quite a while, not having to worry about being kicked off because Eddie wasn’t there. While you were genuinely reading the comic, Richie’s eyes were glued on Bill, soaking in any reaction he could get.

“Richie, are you still reading this page?”

Your voice shocked him out of his trance. “Sorry, baby, I’m a slow reader. When you’re done with a page, you can just tap me and I’ll turn it.” Richie made sure that whenever you tapped him from them on, he would turn the page as he said. When it came to his next move, Richie was thankful that Bill was facing them, a large frown present of his face.

Being the cheesy bastard he was, Richie stretched his arm out as he yawned and gently maneuvered his arm to rest behind your head. You looked up at Richie and rose an eyebrow at him in question. Usually, Richie would just flirt with his words but this time, he wanted to get a reaction.

And he was successful. Bill was very expressive when it came to his emotions, even if he didn’t want to be. As soon as Richie’s arm was over your shoulder, Bill’s jaw clenched and the pen in his hand was starting to bend from the amount of force he was exerting on it.

Luckily enough for him, you actually had to leave not long after the incident. You apologized to the group for not being able to stay long (which they didn’t mind anyway) before leaving the clubhouse with a proud trashmouth and an angry best friend.

When Richie figured you were far enough that you couldn’t hear them, he set his comic book down and peeked over at Bill who still looked as annoyed as before.

“What’s up Bill?” Richie teased, although he tried his best to come off as genuine, “You look like someone killed your cat.”

Bill’s face scrunched up as he faced his friend. Bill knew well why he looked upset but he wasn’t sure if he wanted the other losers to know. “It’s nothing. Just can’t think.”

The trashmouth rose his head as if to say he understood, making Bill turn his attention back to the paper in front of him. Richie didn’t want the situation to die from there, his main goal was to get a reaction from Bill and he wasn’t going to stop until Bill admitted that he had feelings for you.

“Wasn’t Y/n cute today?” Richie sighed, his body sinking into the hammock. He smiled as Bill’s head shot up at your name. Bingo.

“What do you mean?” Stanley questioned from the corner of the room, his eyes steady on Richie as if he was studying him.

“Ah, I don’t know,” Richie sighed again, “It’s just they looked really cute today, don’t you think, Bill?” Bill couldn’t help his breath from getting stuck in his throat as everyone’s eyes landed on him.

“I-I think Y-Y-Y/n looks c-cute e-e-every d-day.”

Shit! I wasn’t supposed to say that! I was supposed to say they looks the same as every other day, dumbass!

In an instant, Richie’s face lit up in amusement. This was going better than he planned. Sitting up so he could see Bill fully, he decided to continue egging on his best friend.

“Oh, really? Which outfit do you like the best? Personally, I think the outfit they wore to school yesterday was my favorite. Like everyone was staring at them—”

“Shut up, Richie,” Bill shot at him, his upper lip curling as he sneered at his friend. He wasn’t going to lie, you did look good yesterday and, yes, everyone was staring at you but that didn’t mean they should. Thinking about everyone looking at you makes Bill’s stomach turn, especially if it was Richie.

“OH you’re jealous?” Richie laughed, his eyes wide as he sent a crazed look to his blushing friend. The other losers were deathly quiet and they watched the scene unfold in front of them.

“What are you talking about?” Bill tried to act dumb, squinting his eyes at Richie’s antics.

Bending over in the hammock, Richie let out a heavy laugh. “Can you believe that, Stanley? Big Bill has a crush!”

Stanley bit his tongue as his eyes shot between his two friends. Whatever was happening, he did not want to be in the middle of it. Bill couldn’t even hide his embarrassment, his face was bright red and his mouth was open to speak but nothing was coming out.

“H-H-How,” Bill stumbled. There was no way he could lie to his friends, not all of them were idiots.

“It’s so obvious,” Richie pointed out after wiping the tears from his cheeks. “You’re head over heels for them. You’re practically drooling at every move they make.” Bill was speechless, shocked by the bluntness of his friend. “You should just ask them out already.”

Now that is what smacked Bill out of his shock. There was absolutely no way that he could do that. You didn’t even like him like that. “W-Wow, a g-g-great i-idea, but I’d r-rather d-die,” Bill scoffed, his eyes landing on the ground.

Richie tried not to deflate from his friend’s depressed attitude. “Why not?”

“I m-mean, th-th-they’re a-amazing but they don’t l-li-like me like th-that. I don’t th-think they e-even like m-me a-as much as y-y-you guys.”

“What makes you think that?” Stanley speaks up, raising his eyebrows at Bill as he thought about his relationship with you. It was like all of his insecurities were coming back to bite him in the butt.

“Well,” Bill mumbled, his voice becoming softer. He felt almost too embarrassed to admit it. “I-I don’t e-e-even have a-a ni-nickname.”

Richie’s retracted, putting a hand on his chest to be dramatic. Stanley was still calm, beckoning for Bill to explain.

“I-It’s hard to t-t-tell if th-they’re e-even into me b-b-because it’s like th-they’re into e-e-everyone. P-Plus, you a-all have n-n-nicknames. Richie, th-they call you H-Handsome, and St-Stanley, they call y-y-you Prince. W-What do they c-c-call me? B-Bill. I think it’s o-o-obvious e-enough.”

Richie couldn’t help but feel a bit disheartened by his statements but he knew what he was talking about. Bill was right to feel that way, you were a bit flirtatious by nature and you did have a nickname for everyone in the group but him.

However, Richie could see how much you cared for him. Even if you were talking to Richie, your focus would be on Bill. He saw the way you could always position yourself so you could see Bill and the way your eyes would be glued to Bill as Richie tried to talk to you. It may be hard for Bill to realize your feelings but it was always obvious to Richie.

Despite wanting to shoot Bill’s negative thoughts down, Richie held his tongue. If he said anything, he knew that Bill would deny him. You liked him; Bill needed to hear it for himself and Richie was determined to help his friend realize it.

The next day, Richie called you and asked if he could come over. Out of curiosity and confusion, you said yes. Richie and you might shoot jokes at each other every now and then but you two never really spoke out of the group. If he needed to talk to you privately, it must be something important.

When he finally arrives, you make sure he’s okay first by scanning over him. For all you know, he could have gotten into a fight and you were the only person he could call. You quickly realized that absolutely nothing was wrong with him when he shot you a grin.

“Wow, checking me out so early in the morning?”

“Shut up Richie,” You dismissed him but you couldn’t help but smile at his playfulness. That was part of the reason why you two got along so well. “Why are you here?”

Before he said anything, Richie looked around to make sure no one was around him, specifically any of the losers. “Can I come in?”

Furrowing your eyebrows, you opened the door slowly, suspicious of what he was going to talk about. The loud mouth not saying anything until he was inside where no one could hear him but you was a bit nervewracking. It took a little bit for Richie to get settled, choosing to sink into your couch the moment he stepped into the living room.

“Now can you tell me why you’re here?”

“Tell me, what do you like about Bill?” Richie asked, his tone light like he was a proper mother (part of him felt like he was).

It took more than you thought to keep yourself from shaking at his question. How in the world did he know? No, you didn’t try to hide it but you just assumed that everyone would be oblivious to your feelings because you acted close to everyone. Richie saw right through you.

“H-How did you–”

“You’re just like Bill, I swear,” Richie sighed, cutting you off. You were standing in front of him as still as ice. You were frozen and sweating by the sudden anxiousness that coursed through you. “It’s really pretty obvious as long as you pay attention. I’m not dumb, y’know?”

Part of you tried not to laugh at his last statement, your mind flashing back to the time in class when he questioned why letters were involved in math. When Richie cleared his throat, you realized your situation. You could fully admit that you like Bill and face the consequences and the teasing or you don’t admit that you like Bill, have to keep lying, and still face and consequences and the teasing.

“Fine, I like Bill,” You admitted, “But it’s not just because he’s really cute okay? He’s a genuinely nice person and he’s really funny. Actually, he’s the only person I feel like I can really laugh with. Not only that but he’s also a really talented wri–”

“Okay, okay!” Richie interrupted, waving his hands up, “I didn’t ask for a whole essay!”

You went quiet and hung your head, trying to hide your embarrassment. By no means did you want to rant about Bill to his best friend, especially Richie. There’s no way you’re not going to be teased now.

“Look, I know Bill likes you too–”

“Really?” Your head shot up, eyes lighting up in excitement. Was he serious? Bill really liked you back? This is like a dream come true.

“Oh my god,” Richie grumbled, smacking his forehead, “Are you blind? Anyway, that’s not why I’m here. Bill feels like you don’t like him because you don’t have a pet name for him.”

Your face scrunched up as you stared at Richie, shaking your head to him to explain.

“Everyone in the group has pet names, even Beverly and she’s not even here anymore. He just feels left out because of it. And he’s as stupid as you and can’t take a hint.”

You ignored the last part of his confession and thought to yourself. You give just about everyone a pet name, it is a way that you show your affection but it felt kind of weird to do that with Bill. Bill was someone you seriously cared about and you didn’t want to show him the same affection as everyone else. He was someone you liked differently.

However, you can see how that could look bad on your part. Not giving him a nickname like everyone else could make him feel different, and not the good kind of different. You tried out a few on him here or there but none of them felt right. He was special to you and you felt like the pet names you gave everyone didn’t fit him.

“You’re right, I am an idiot. I didn’t even realize…” You trailed off as you thought about how Bill has acted strangely the past few weeks. Every time you went to hang out with his group he was always paying attention to you, watching your every move. You’ve been using your nicknames for them a lot recently, especially since you’re finding yourself wanting to sit with them more, and every time you would say hi to Bill without a nickname of his own, his mood would sour.

As you sank to the ground in disappointment, Richie’s smile grew. Richie swore he was a mastermind as he would see all of the puzzle pieces falling into place. Maybe in the future, he should become a matchmaker– no. He can’t even handle his own problems, let alone ten more. Plus, he’s not that good with customer service.

“Don’t worry too hard.” Richie’s smile was as big as it could get as he watched you look up at him defeated. “I’ve got a plan.”

Monday was going terribly for Bill. The start of his day was like no other, brushing his teeth and getting dressed. When he went downstairs, though, his parents started to argue again. It had been a while since their last argument and he finally thought that they were over it now, but they seemed to go into the same routine.

He tried to leave as soon as he could but in that rush, he forgot to grab his rain jacket. Lucky for him, it started to rain on his way to school! By the time he arrived, Bill was thoroughly soaked and had to ask for another change of clothes.

When he got the clothes, however, he wished that he never asked for them. He was given an annoyingly bright yellow stained T-shirt and some ripped jeans muddled with dirt. Despite his protests, the office ladies were quick to convince him into changing.

He didn’t even look at you that morning, too embarrassed by how he looked to interact with you. You didn’t really care, Bill looked cute regardless of the stained clothes he was forced to wear.

Out of everything, Bill was not looking forward to lunch. Normally, he would be elated that you were going to spend time with the club but he felt something off. Even this morning, he could feel your eyes lingering on him. Maybe he was just overreacting, but Bill was starting to get anxious.

While he was staring off in space, you snuck up behind him, glancing at Richie as you leaned next to Bill’s ear.

“Hey, daddy.”

Almost instantaneously, the water in Bill’s mouth spewed across the table, causing for Richie to jump out of his seat. While Richie was holding up his hands in disgust, Bill was busy coughing from the water he accidentally inhaled. You were shocked at his reaction but you eventually started to laugh, amused by his reaction.

When he was done coughing, Bill sent Eddie and Richie an apologetic look.

“S-Sorry Bill,” You tried to settle down but giggles kept escaping your throat. “I didn’t expect you to react like that.”

Bill looked at you, his eyes wide. “W-Wha-Why?”

You looked over at Richie, making sure it was okay to tell Bill but he was too distracted trying to dry his clothes.

“I just thought you looked really cute,” You shrugged, hoping Bill would go along with it. You weren’t exactly lying, Bill did look really cute. Bill didn’t shrug it off this time, instead his eyes squinted at you as you continued to ramble. “See!” You pointed at Bill’s face as he pouted a bit, “You’re just so cute it’s hard to resist– I mean, you can’t really blame me, can you?”

“W-W-Wait,” Bill stopped you, blinking as he tried to process what you were saying. “A-Are you fl-flirting w-w-with m-me?”

“You finally noticed?” Richie shouted, throwing his arms up as he looked at Bill incredulously. He felt good that Bill was finally realizing your feelings, but he definitely did not expect being spit on as payment.

You smiled as BIll’s mouth hung open, his eyes not moving from yours. He was shocked, that was for sure.

“A-Are you serious?” Bill spoke up although his voice was quiet.

“Bill, I’ve liked you for a while.”

“B-But I th-thought y-y-you–”

“Richie told me that you didn’t feel like I liked you because I didn’t give you a nickname, so I gave you one!” As Bill stumbled over his words, you were grinning, amused by how he was frozen by such a simple action. “So, I’ll see you later for our date?” You asked, your eyebrow raising.

Bill didn’t think that his face could get any warmer but it did. He felt like dying, sweat starting to roll down the palms of his hands. “D-D-Date? L-Later?”

“Yeah,” You confirmed, nodding your head. Before you left, you patted his shoulder and sure to send him a wink. “See you after class.”

[wickedmilo]

TWILIGHT TALK IS PROHIBITED | MILO & EDDIE

PLACE: Eddie’s apartment TIMING: A looong time ago SUMMARY: Milo begrudgingly helps Eddie with his research on vampires WRITING PARTNER: @specterchasing CONTENT WARNINGS: Drug tw, addiction tw, substance abuse tw

Eddie’s legs bent at the knees underneath the coffee table as he opened a tattered leather-bound book placed atop the reclaimed wood. A bottle of vodka and a pitcher of lemonade sat close by, ready to refill his and Milo’s glasses when the time came. Jack White sang softly in the background; a song about youth and friendship. Eddie put it on tonight’s playlist with Milo in mind, hoping it brought him some added familiarity. He imagined his undead friend didn’t encounter much of that anymore, death made a habit out of confiscating comfort. 

His glasses slid halfway down his nose as he skimmed the text only for him to quickly push them up again in mild irritation. “It’s in here somewhere,” he mumbled. Eddie’s elbow rested on the table with his hand pushing hair away from his forehead. He looked more dishevelled than usual, a common occurrence when he shifted into research mode. Most people didn’t get a chance to see him like this, not that they made an effort to. 

“Got it,” he announced, letting his hand fall from his face. “Older, stronger vampires may have additional skills such as enthrallment, transforming into mist or bats, and throwing their voice,” Eddie read the text out loud before looking up at Milo. “Like I said, vampires are basically party city magicians with an allergy to sunlight. That’s why they do so well in Vegas.” He punctuated his sentence with a sip of his drink. 

Teaching Milo about vampires felt strange all things considered, but he needed to bring the subject to the forefront. The more normal it felt to talk about, the more likely Milo would be to tell him the truth—or, so he hoped. 

He studied Milo’s face for a moment and suddenly grinned. “I just realized we match tonight.” Eddie tapped the frame of his glasses. Why vampirism didn’t negate eyesight problems was beyond him, but he liked the emphasis they put on Milo’s eyes. 

Sprawled lazily on Eddie’s couch, cocktail in hand (if you could call lemonade and vodka a cocktail), Milo felt more at home than he had in weeks. He was comfortable, content just to enjoy his friend’s company, even if the subject they were studying wasn’t exactly one he was able to enjoy. Taking a sip on his straw, still scanning the book resting in his lap, the only way he was managing to stay so calm was by putting some distance between himself and the information. If he read it quickly, and made no effort to actually process what he was reading, then he may as well be reading a math book, or a book on structuring essays. Part of him wished, more than anything, that Eddie wasn’t so determined to learn more about vampires. Literally any other supernatural creature and he could throw himself into the research. But his subtle coping strategy needed to be enough for now. The alcohol dulling his sense of anxiety, and the resurfacing memories of his violent death, he focused on the sound of the White Stripes, unable to believe Eddie remembered how much he enjoyed them.  

“What is it you’re looking for again?” He asked, pulling a few pages of loose notes out of his book, setting them carefully on the coffee table so they wouldn’t get crumpled. “I’m telling you, Rio made me watch Twilight and it has all the information you could ever need.” Grinning at Eddie, taking in his tousled hair, and the glint in his eye that he only ever seemed to get when he was searching desperately for information, he felt a rush of affection, followed by a familiar wave of guilt. It still plagued him, the voice in the back of his mind telling him he should be honest. But it wasn’t an option, there were too many things holding him back. The most recent being the sense of normalcy his friend somehow helped him sink into. Would they still have that if suddenly Eddie was asking about his diet, and his fangs? His aversion to sunlight? Even with Orion things were different. Rio was a hunter, they were clinging to the same lifeboat. Eddie was human. Perfectly, beautifully human. And sometimes, when he was with him, he managed to feel human too.  

“Oh, hilarious.” he deadpanned, sitting up a little straighter to glance over at what Eddie was reciting from. “That is such bullshit, there’s no way anybody can actually turn into a bat.” At least, he didn’t think there was. Honestly, he was starting to wonder whether anything might be impossible. “Also humans can throw their voice so, you know… not that impressive.” He added, taking another long sip of his drink. Confused for a brief moment, he only realised what Eddie meant when he pointedly tapped at his glasses, and he laughed sheepishly, pushing his own further up his nose. “Yeah, yeah, I know… the nerd Milo is back. I lost my glasses the night I-” He broke off, his grip tightening on his glass as he realised how close to tipsy he was. Maybe he should slow down a little. “I got- I got way too drunk…” He finished his sentence, playing off the comment as casual. It wasn’t technically untrue. “Woke up in an old building... glasses nowhere to be seen.” He caught Eddie’s eye, offering him a smile to counter the dark truth behind what he was saying. He couldn’t think about that right now, he didn’t want to think about that. “I finally picked up a new pair… I took a photo of you to the opticians and told them I wanted to be as hot as you are. They gave me a set of your frames.”  

“I’m thinking about getting a sign that says any and all Twilight talk is strictly prohibited within this apartment,” Eddie mused, but a telltale grin tugged at the corners of his lips. He liked that Milo still made jokes, even about this. Take away his sense of humor and he wouldn’t be the same person Eddie spent years trying to impress. He tried not to think about how important Milo’s attention used to be almost as much as he tried not to let it matter that much again. His efforts were fruitless, of course, but he liked to pretend he had a say in the matter. 

Bullshit. Eddie laughed at the response, delighted to fall back into their old routine so effortlessly. “Yeah, that’s kind of the point I’m trying to make,” he said, referring to Milo labeling vampires as unimpressive. “Vampires aren’t that different from humans. Higher vamps, at least. Blood and shadows, big deal. They’re still just like us in the ways that actually count.” Referring to Milo as human was easier than he thought it would be, maybe because that’s what he’d known him as for so long. “I’ve known plenty of people who like their steaks rare and prefer working night shifts, it doesn’t mean they’re monsters.” 

Eddie took another drink, deeper this time, and felt the alcohol swirl his thoughts with heightened efficiency. So far, he’d been taking it easy. Eager as Milo was to see him drunk, Eddie didn’t look forward to the behavioral shift. People thought he came on too strongly sober; they had no idea how much he held back until he had a few drinks in him. 

The story Milo told left Eddie with questions. It made sense and sounded legitimate enough, but a nagging thought induced suspicion. Before he could press, however, Milo blindsided him. His cheeks burned even though he knew full-well it was sarcasm. “It’s not healthy to set unrealistic standards like that for yourself,” he replied, trying not to show his embarrassment. “It’s a good look though, even if it doesn’t compare to the original.” He gestured to himself with a flourish of his wrist, quickly avoiding eye contact by taking another drink. 

“Honestly, I’ve had enough of that franchise to last me a lifetime… or two lifetimes.” Milo admitted. “But the jokes are too good… I can’t stop myself, it’s becoming like, a legitimate problem.” For someone who supposedly didn’t enjoy the series, he couldn’t seem to stop bringing it up. He enjoyed the way it made people laugh. The way it made what he was feel more trivial, and light-hearted. Not failing to notice the way Eddie’s lips curved as he struggled to repress a smile, he decided immediately that all talk of Twilight definitely wasn’t prohibited within his apartment. “You think vampires are unimpressive?” He raised his eyebrows, settling back down against the couch cushions behind him. “Maybe don’t say that to any big scary ones.” He was careful with his words, not wanting to imply he was human any more than he needed to. It felt too much like lying when he looked into Eddie’s eyes. And considering he himself was far from a big scary vampire, he figured it was a fair comment to make.  

Faltering a moment, genuinely taken aback by Eddie’s perspective, he knew he shouldn’t be surprised. This was Eddie. He already knew the way he saw the world, he had seen his many, many Youtube videos. If anybody was going to sympathise with the supernatural, it was the boy sitting opposite him. But it still meant more than he could know. Especially after Dani, and her harsh, unforgiving worldview. Stopping himself, before he could say thank you and completely give himself away, he took another drink to delay his response. Allowing a few beats of silence to pass, he composed his expression, chewing thoughtfully on his bottom lip. “Yeah… I agree.” He admitted, curious to hear more about the bloody steaks. “Is this a werewolf reference?” He asked. “Look, if we’re changing the species you need to give me a heads up, otherwise I’m going to get lost.”  

Glancing up at Eddie, his face flushing red, the scent of blood became stronger as it rushed to the surface of his skin. Pointedly ignoring the shift, focusing instead on the strong, almost overwhelming scent of vodka, it wasn’t too difficult for him to stay grounded. “Hm, maybe you’re right. The hair is probably unattainable.” He laughed at his own joke. “And honestly, probably responsible for 70 percent of your views. You know that, right?”  

“Becoming?” Eddie teased. “You’ve been talking about that series since high school. I’m starting to think you’re a genuine Twihard.” He remembered the comments about sparkling vampires, remnants of a time when Milo had some innocence to spare. Eddie’s smile faltered at the thought. He had so many questions, so much pent up anxiety over what happened to his friend. Did it hurt, were you scared, are you safe now? His concern contributed to why he wanted Milo around so often. Keeping him close meant no slayers. If hunger struck him, Eddie had that covered simply by being alive. “You see any big scary vampires around here?” Eddie asked, glancing around the room with a smirk. Milo didn’t need to know how worried he was, not yet. 

Eddie watched as Milo chewed on his bottom lip, wondering what he must be thinking. Talking about vampires, especially their moral standing, couldn’t have been easy. He hoped he wasn’t the only one reminding Milo that he still deserved his place in the world. When he agreed, Eddie let out a breath of relief. It felt like he did something right. “You’ll get lost either way, Summers,” he said with raised brows. 

“There’s more to me than my hair and my viewers know that,” Eddie corrected him pointedly. “I also have an irresistibly cherubic face and endless sex appeal.” By some miracle, he managed to keep a straight face for a few seconds after his shameless display of egotism. He meant it as a joke, for the most part. Tonight should have been about vampires, he supposed it was for a moment, but vodka had other plans. “And there’s the first sign I’ve already drank too much,” he asked, grinning apologetically. 

“Fuck you, I hadn’t even seen it back then.” Milo laughed, unable to deny what Eddie was saying. Technically he did bring it up whenever Eddie decided to talk about vampires, but to make him laugh. In the same way he was trying to amuse him now. Laughing again, the irony of Eddie’s question was too great to ignore, and he made a show of scanning the room. “I do not.” He agreed. “Unless you’re a vampire and you’re just not telling me?” There it was again, the guilt weighing on his shoulders. It shouldn’t be hard to keep the information to himself, to be selfish. He had always been selfish. But something about it this time felt so wrong, as though he genuinely had no justification. Eddie was a good person, who fought so hard for what he believed in. And here he was, not-living proof of the fact that his friend was right. Eddie’s years of facing ridicule and skepticism weren’t for nothing.  

Pulled out of his thoughts by the following comment, he offered a tired smile. “Yeah, that’s probably true.” He admitted, struggling not to dwell on how lost he already felt. In every element of his life, he was lost. A few people were trying to show him the way. Luis, Harsh, Rio, Macleod… and it definitely made things easier. But when he looked to his future he still just saw an endless nothing. A terrifying void. He wasn’t sure when, or if, that was ever going to change. “At least you’re with me though, right? You’ll keep me safe from the steak-eating night dwellers?” He teased, hoping to make light of the situation. He didn’t want this, he wanted to avoid thinking about what he was, and just enjoy Eddie’s company. Not for the first time he wondered whether he really should have insisted on studying another creature. 

His smile growing as Eddie continued to joke about his hair, he finished what was left of his drink. As far as he was concerned, the more alcohol there was in his system, the easier it would be for him to stay in the moment. To pay attention to his friend without getting lost in his thoughts each time something managed to trigger an emotional response. “Oh, I think it’s a sign that you haven’t drunk enough.” He countered. “I want to hear more about your sex appeal.” 

Eddie let out a clap of laughter at his friend’s rebuttal. Something about hearing Milo say ‘fuck you’ never failed to amuse him. With how much his parents hated cursing, it felt like a minor act of rebellion even hearing language like that spoken so casually. “Definitely not a vampire,” Eddie said through pursed lips. He wished things were easier for Milo, that trust would come more easily to him, but he understood why that wasn’t the case. “Believe me, I wouldn’t last a single night as one with the way I run my mouth.” He meant it. Eddie had a lot of respect for any supernatural creature who managed to survive a world hellbent on either denying their existence or ending it.

When Milo led the conversation towards his safety, Eddie felt a pang in his chest. The comment had been light-hearted, more of a joke than anything else, but it hurt to know he couldn’t admit to how badly he wanted to protect him. Not that he could even if he tried. In a way, he already failed once. “Exactly,” Eddie replied with a firm nod, trying to keep his tone as light as Milo’s. “Stick with me and your future will be completely free of steak dinners and shadow stalkers.”

He wanted the conversation to flow more freely, to not get so wrapped up in his thoughts. Maybe Milo had a point, maybe he hadn’t drunk enough. Eddie poured more vodka and lemonade into his glass and immediately downed half of the mixture. “It’s already fully on display, I dunno what else you need to know,” he said with a laugh. 

The background music changed to something he didn’t remember putting on tonight’s playlist.  

Uh, let's go to the beach-each

Let's go get a wave

They say what they gonna say

Have a drink, clink, found the Bud Light

Bad bitches like me is hard to come by 

Eddie cleared laughter out of his throat as he wobbled to his feet. “Are you drunk enough to dance?” His brow raised provocatively as he looked down at Milo. “Because I am,” he announced in a sing-song tone. 

Milo grinned, his eyes shining as he imagined that particular Youtube video. “I can almost see it now,” he said, dramatically raising his hands so that he could project a title into the air before him. “My Name Is Eddie Carridine, Vampires Are Real. Oh, And I Am One.” Pretending to think for a moment, he wrinkled his nose. “It’s not as catchy as your regular titles, maybe you could make a pun instead. Keep it short and sweet, y’know?” Watching his friend as his expression seemed to falter, Eddie’s smile slipped incredibly briefly, though he still managed to catch the shift. What could be bothering him? He almost wanted to ask, but with the atmosphere once again becoming lighthearted, and fun, he wasn’t about to risk bringing the mood down. Especially not when they were both drinking, that was very obviously a terrible idea. Smiling affectionately at the mention of being safe from other supernatural creatures, he momentarily forgot about Eddie’s demeanour. It was so obvious he meant every word that he said. This was someone who, despite only just reconnecting with him, genuinely wanted to fight for his wellbeing. He swallowed his emotion, refusing to show how overwhelmed he was by the sentiment. “Do I want to know what a shadow stalker is? Or did you just make that up?” He half teased, a laugh escaping him when Eddie insisted his sex apeal was on full display. “Shit, you’re right.” He pushed his hair back away from his face, leaning forward to pull the pitcher towards himself so that he would be able to refill his empty glass.  

Sadly he didn’t get the chance to, because he was quickly interrupted by an unexpected change of song. Even without his sensitive hearing, it would have been jarring. The iconic lull of Jack White’s voice was suddenly replaced by loud bass, and fast paced rap. The woman’s voice was loud, and unique. She carefully warped her words in a way that was instantaneously recognisable. “Uh, Eddie… your terrible taste in music is showing.” He laughed at his own joke, only spurred on when Eddie unsteadily jumped to his feet. Staring up at him, an expression of disbelief written across his features, he struggled to keep up his act of indignance. He was well on his way to being drunk, but was he intoxicated enough to warrant dancing? To let Eddie in on the fact that he secretly knew every word of Starships by Nicki Minaj? “Oh, jeez…” He muttered, abandoning the pitcher to pick up the bottle of vodka, taking a long drink straight from it before shooting his friend a look that told him, no, he wasn’t drunk enough, but yes, he was about to join him. He only ever danced to amuse people, to make them laugh. And this felt like the perfect opportunity to do exactly that. So he got to his own feet, the bottle still firmly in his hand, and began to dance in the same way he always danced; like a white guy in a 90’s music video desperately trying (desperately failing) to look cool. The moves were easy, and undeniably enjoyable. No matter who he was with, they always seemed to spark joy in his company.  

Milo’s levity managed to uplift Eddie’s mood. When puns were mentioned, his eyes immediately lit up. “How I Died In Vein,” he offered with a laugh. “In parentheses—Not A Type-O.” Admittedly, his title suggestion made more sense in written form than it did when said out loud, but he figured an explanation would be overkill. Joking about vampirism led him to hope the concept might be on the table for normalization.  

“Are you telling me you don’t know what a shadow stalker is?” Eddie feigned disbelief. “As their name suggests, they lurk in the shadows and demand unsuspecting passersby to answer three riddles. If you get two out of three answers wrong, they legally become your step-dad.” Surely, Eddie didn’t need to tell him shadow stalkers weren’t real after that but, if his description didn’t give it away, the impish grin he wore would. 

When Milo started dancing in all his whiteboy glory, Eddie nearly doubled over in laughter. “Don’t make your body do that, it deserves better,” he said through his sudden bout of hysterics.  

“Wow.” Milo reacted with obvious sarcasm, choosing not to comment on the fact that the wordplay was actually pretty clever. He wasn’t about to give Eddie the satisfaction. “I hate it. I hate everything about it.” Raising his eyebrows as he was questioned on Shadow Stalkers, it was only after the mention of step dads that he realised his friend really was just teasing him. He laughed, shaking his head at the prospect. “Shit, I argue with my actual dad too much to want a second one.” He admitted. The last thing he needed was two paternal figures lecturing him on his behaviour. Enjoying Eddie’s smile, he held his gaze, offering him a grin that came incredibly easy. He was grateful to move past the subject of vampires. At the very least in a serious context. And it felt good, being able to relax again. 

Throwing in a few extra moves when his friend told him to stop dancing, a genuine peal of laughter managed to escape him, somehow managing to catch him off guard. It was unlike the laughter from before, that felt natural but still very much controlled. This laughter escaped him without his permission, the irony far too great to ignore. “You’re the first person to tell me my body deserves better because of my dancing.” He explained, thinking back on every time somebody had said those exact words to him. Usually followed by the mention of rehab, or detox, or health retreats that sounded suspiciously like sobriety cults. “I can do better, you know? But dancing well is nowhere near as fun, and it never manages to get the same reaction so… don’t tell me you aren’t enjoying it.” He grinned, his cheeks aching with just how genuine his smile was. There weren’t many people who could make him feel comfortable, who could make him feel safe, and at home, and at peace with who he was. Eddie Carridine might just be one of them. 

[wrestlingisfake]

Resurgence preview

It's been a year now since New Japan launched their US-based show, NJPW Strong. I'm sure the original plans involved running US tours with a mix of American regulars and visiting stars from the main Japanese roster. The pandemic, however, limited the scope of Strong, mainly featuring minor leagues on a closed set. It almost felt like a parallel universe with little relationship to the "real" NJPW. Now, finally, the brand gets to do a show in front of an actual crowd, and we get to see this concept the way it was meant to be seen.

The show airs live on NJPWworld (999 yen for one month--about $9.12 US) at 11pm EDT. Or, if you just cannot handle setting up your payment on a Japanese website, you can get the show on FITE.tv for $19.99 US. Both services should make the show available on-demand later, in case you want to wait until you're done watching Triplemania.

Lance Archer vs. Hiroshi Tanahashi - Archer is defending the IWGP United States champioship. The title was in limbo through most of 2020, as Jon Moxley was unable to schedule a defense in either New Japan or AEW. That changed in 2021, as thawing relations between the two promotions led to more Moxley title matches, until he lost the belt to Archer on July 21. Shortly before Archer's first defense on July 28, AEW aired a video of Tanahashi challenging the winner of that match.

This is Tana's first show outside of Japan since the pandemic began, and his first match in California in nearly three years. I'm not sure anyone expected him to be here, given that the New Japan of America operation has focused on building up North American talent rather than bringing in big stars from the home promotion. So this is a special treat for the live audience, above and beyond Archer coming in from AEW.

I expect a pretty straightforward match with Archer killing Tana with big power moves and Tana rallying for a big babyface comeback. In a vacuum I would think either man could end up with the belt. However, the real story to this match is that Tanahashi went out of his way to make a challenge for the US title, but not until after Jon Moxley lost it. So Moxley has accused Tana of ducking him, and it stands to reason that he'll confront the winner of this match to close the show. That feels like a formula for Tana vs. Mox for the title, maaaybe at the AEW pay-per-view on September 5. Everyone sure seems to hope that's where we're headed, so I don't think a lot of people will be pulling for Archer tonight.

Jay White vs. David Finlay - This is White's first defense of the NEVER openweight championship. It's also his first New Japan match since May, as the quarantine procedures for entering Japan have made travel pretty rough for the non-Japanese talent. As I recall, Finlay received this title shot because he pinned White back in March. Finlay hasn't been back in Japan since that tour. Both of these guys have been in Impact Wrestling as of late.

Originally, the idea behind White winning the NEVER title was to set up a match with Hiroshi Tanahashi at one of the Wrestle Grand Slam stadium shows that New Japan scheduled this summer. The aforementioned travel problems seem to have scuttled that, so now White is facing The Other Guy From FinJuice.

The biggest buzz I've heard surrounding this match is that Finlay appeared on Wrestling Observer Live to promote the show and ended up giving fans the impression that he wanted to go to NXT. I mean, Finlay could be fucking with us on that. But it's not a good sign when people are mainly interested in a match because they're looking for signs that one of the participants is fixing to leave the promotion. Not that it affects the finish, of course--Finlay could sign with NJPW for a million years, and he still wouldn't be booked to beat White for a title in 2021.

Tomohiro Ishii vs. Moose - This match kind of came out of nowhere. Ishii isn't exactly a top guy in New Japan but he's always right below that level, clobbering most of the roster and getting clobbered to set up new contenders. Most of the NJPW Strong roster would be underdogs against him. But then, Moose isn't on the Strong roster--he's coming over from Impact, where he's been pushed as a top heel for months. Moose is a 6-foot-5 big mean guy and Ishii is a 5-foot-7 big mean guy, so this should be an interesting contrast. It's easily the most interesting match on the show.

I'd like to see Moose win, since it'd be a slight upset and he could use the momentum for whatever he's doing next. But if he is gonna win, Ishii is going to convince you that he had to work his ass off to earn it. I'm looking forward to this.

Tom Lawlor & JR Kratos & Danny Limelight & Jorel Nelson & Royce Isaacs vs. Lio Rush & Chris Dickinson & Adrian Quest & Fred Yehi & Yuya Uemura - Lawlor is the NJPW Strong champion and his team is the New Japan version of "Team Filthy." The babyface team originally featured Brody King, but he was pulled from the card at the last minute due to "unforeseen circumstances", so Adrian Quest is substituting for him. That's a real tough break for the good guys.

There are several storylines at play here. Lio Rush stepped up as the next challenger for Lawlor's title, and they'll have that match at the August 16 tapings. Dickinson was kicked out of Team Filthy, and is currently aligned with Brody King's Violence Unlimited stable. Uemura had been working on the Japan roster as a Young Lion, but he's just begun his excursion so he has a chance to really express himself as a performer.

If Rush wasn't already positioned as Lawlor's next challenger, I might think this match could end with someone pinning Lawlor. As it is, though, it probably makes more sense for Team Filthy to win in a dominant fashion. Yehi and Quest are basically undercard scrubs, and Uemura just now graduated to that position. Rush and Dickinson aren't going to be able to carry so many weak links.

Juice Robinson vs. Hikuleo - Juice has spent most of 2021 teaming with David Finlay over on Impact, whereas Hikuleo has been wrestling on Strong and more recently on a few AEW shows. Given that Hikuleo is 6-foot-8 you'd expect him to squash everything in his path, but New Japan isn't afraid to have more established stars get the better of him. Whether Juice is one of those more established stars remains to be seen.

Juice biggest career highlight was winning the IWGP US title, and Hikuleo's was challenging for that title a few weeks ago. If one of them is going to be in the hunt for that belt, then winning this match should be step one. As much as I'd like to see Juice back in the chase, I get the feeling it'll be Hikuleo taking that role.

Karl Anderson & Doc Gallows vs. Jon Moxley & X - The Good Brothers (Gallows and Anderson) are the Impact Wrestling men's tag team champions, but their title is not at stake here. I think Moxley was originally booked to team with Syota Umino on this show, but travel restrictions prevented Umino from coming into LA. One way or another, Moxley will have a mystery partner that won't be revealed until the match begins.

The backstory is that Gallows and Anderson have been a thorn in Moxley's side every time he's tried to fight Kenny Omega, or really anybody in Omega's stable. With that in mind, the most logical partner would be Sami Callihan, who has a history with Moxley and unfinished business with Omega's group. People have been asking for a Moxley-Callihan reunion from the minute AEW and Impact started collaborating, and there's no reason it can't happen here. On the other hand, I wonder if that's something New Japan would do as a surprise, as opposed to advertising it ahead of time.

If Moxley's partner isn't Callihan, there's a serious risk that the live crowd will start chanting for Callihan and disrupt the match. So if they're going with someone else, it'd better be good. I suppose Eddie Kingston would be accepted, although again, why would that be something you do as a surprise? Personally, I'm all about Moxley and the cold, deadly eyes of Shooter Umino, so I know I'll be disappointed no matter what. :(

Anyway, it'd be stupid for Moxley's team to lose this match.

Rocky Romero & Fred Rosser & Wheeler Yuta vs. TJP & Clark Connors & Ren Narita - This is a pretty good sampling of the NJPW Strong midcard. Of this group, Romero has the most clout with the main New Japan roster. Rosser is still best known as WWE's Darren Young, the guy from the Nexus who looks exactly like John Cena. Yuta has been making waves on AEW, filling in for Trent Beretta with Orange Cassidy's group, so I guess he and Rocky are both Best Friends Twice Removed or something. TJP is a former WWE cruiserweight champion and Impact X division champion. Connors is one of the guys from the Gekiochi-kun ads--I think he's the one who snaps his fingers to teleport everybody. Ren Narita is the guy who used to wrestle Syota Umino all the time, but Syota is not on this show. :(

Alex Coughlin vs. Karl Fredericks - When Strong started, Coughlin, Fredericks, and Clark Connors were the three Young Lions from the LA Dojo who worked as prelim guys. Since then I believe Connors and Fredericks have "graduated," and Coughlin is still working on it. I'm pretty sure Fredericks is the one in the Gekiochi-kun ads that says "that's pretty cool." I don't remember what Coughlin does in those ads, so clearly he needs to get his ass in gear. Anyway, I guess Fredericks wins.

Bateman & Mysterioso & Barrett Brown vs. The DKC & Kevin Knight & Jordan Clearwater - This is scheduled as a dark match 30 minutes before the live stream begins. I've heard most of these names, but the only one I kinda know is Bateman from whatever goofy stable he's in at Ring of Honor. I dunno, I guess his side wins.

[huilian]

Summary: Five times the ruby earrings changed hands, featuring: the Queen Thief thieving, Gen wrecking havoc with his siblings, a raging at the gods™ episode, an obligatory palace sneaking scene, and finally, Gen’s kids wrecking havoc (with Gen).

The woman her father was courting was wearing ruby earrings, and she hated it. She always knew which items her father had stolen, even if she sometimes didn’t understand why, and these earrings bear the mark of her father’s hands.

This time, however, she could guess the reason her father had gifted that earring to this woman. In the year since her mother had died, her father had courted three different women. To give his children a mother, he had said, but she knew better.

None of the Thief’s current children were named after him and his god. None of the Thief’s current children fated to become the next Thief of Eddis.

Not even her.

She knew she had the god’s favour. Cleverness and skill she had in spades, more than any of her siblings, and when she jumped from roof to roof, she could feel the god’s hands guiding her. But she was not named after him, and so she would not be the next Thief.

She used to hate it, as a child. She would steal as many things as she dared, and she would place every single one of them on Eugenides’s altar, praying that the god would choose her to be the next Thief, if she showed him her skill and persistence. She gained a reputation that way, of being a thief as prolific, if not yet as formidable, as her father.

Her name still remained Vassilissa. The Thief of Eddis was chosen by the gods, and no one could change their decision.

She had learned to accept it, even if sometimes, when she placed her offerings on Eugenides’s altar, she wanted to scream and rage at the god. It’s not unheard of that the blessing from the God of Thieves skipped a generation.

She knew. She had checked every single record.

But her father would not stop trying. Since her birth, her mother had had two still-births, several miscarriages, and then finally, last year, had lost her life on the birthing bed, delivering yet another still-birth. Before the pyre had even cooled, her father had searched for a new wife.

Vassi had driven off the first two women easily. They were a regular at the court of Eddis, and when they realized that their belongings had disappeared and reappeared on the altar of Eugenides, they knew what it meant.

This one, however, was not a regular at the court, and no matter how many of her jewelry went missing, she did not catch the hint. She had stayed long enough for her father to give her the ruby earrings, and that brought Vassi back to this situation.

She had to steal it. The earrings. But no doubt her father had known about her part in driving off the last woman he had courted--He thought it was simple jealousy. For all the bragged about his mind being his best asset, sometimes her father could be exceedingly foolish--, and would do everything in his power to keep her from driving this one too.

Vassi didn’t mind. She loved the challenge.

In the end, it wasn’t even that hard. Whenever the earrings weren’t being worn, it would be under the guard of her father. The simple solution, then, was to steal them when they were being worn. A shy smile to the woman her father courted, a framing of her request to speak alone as a child who would like to know her future step-mother better, and a span of twenty seconds were all she needed. She showed up to the next court session with the ruby earrings on her own ears, carrying herself with all the grace of a queen.

They called her Queen Thief, then. A thief as formidable as her own father.

Her father courted no more women after that.

***

Temenus ran with all the speed he had in his body, cursing his siblings all the way, from Xenia to Euphemia to Iris and Penelope, to Alexis and all the way to Stenides.

Xenia had stolen their mother’s ruby earrings last week. Why, Temenus didn’t know, but that started the chaos. Mother had stolen the earrings back, of course, but chaos, like the waters of the Arachtus, cannot be stopped when it has started its journey.

Like clockwork, the day after Mother had gotten them back, Euphemia stole them from her. And then Iris had taken them from Euphemia. Which was then followed by Penelope stealing them from Iris. By that time, it had become the nightly entertainment for the court, to see which one of the women from the Minister of War’s family would show up wearing the ruby earrings.

And then Mother had stolen them back, again, and Stenides, sweet, sweet Stenides, had decided that it’s not fair that only the women could play, and told Temenus his intent to steal the earrings himself. Before Temenus could tell him what a horrible idea that was, his brother had dared him to steal the earrings too.

He had to accept. He should have known that it was futile to resist the call of chaos, especially when his mother was at the very center of it.

He cursed again, this time focusing the worst of it on Stenides. Why had his brother dared him to do it? And whose idea was it to measure a man’s courage by the insane bets he took?

The ruby earrings, rattling together in his pocket as Temenus ran, weighed down his leg with every step he took. The image of his mother, grinning delightedly as she caught him taking her earrings, weighed down the other one.

She had come into the room as he had closed the jewelry box. He expected her to take the earrings back immediately, but instead, she had smiled and lifted up her hand, all five fingers splayed out. Temenus had felt his body relax at the sight, but then, she bent one finger, leaving only four splayed out.

Temenus knew exactly what that meant. He pocketed the earrings and ran as fast as he could, leaving the false key he had used to open the jewelry box in the first place.

“Why are you running?”

The voice caused Temenus to jump. He looked around, searching for the source of the voice, but found no one. Then, his mind connected the voice to a face, and he looked up.

“Because I have Mother’s earrings in my pockets,” he told his youngest brother.

Eugenides gave him a shrug. “Then why run? She’d find you anyway.”

That was true, but Temenus was not going to say that.

“Are you going to help me or not?”

“Why should I?”

“Because I’m your brother, that’s why.”

“So should I go help Stenides?” Gen asked, voice full of the same mischief that decorated their mother’s face when she saw Temenus holding her earrings. Truly, Gen was their mother’s child, more than anyone else, though Xenia certainly tried.

“If you don’t want to help me, then don’t,” Temenus spitted out. He has no time to argue with his youngest brother. Either Gen would help him or not, nothing he said would sway the boy from his decision. Temenus took one more deep breath, preparing himself to run again. Gen was right, he wouldn’t be able to run from Mother forever, but that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t try.

Before he could run, however, Gen dropped down from the tree he was sitting on and smiled up at him. “I’ll help,” he said, the picture of innocence.

Temenus knew better than to trust the innocent face, but he had no choice. He took Gen’s hand and let his brother lead him through the courtyard and to the hidden passageways of the palace of Eddis.

When they were already so deep into the passageways that Temenus had no idea where they were, he turned around and saw that Eugenides was gone. Cursing, he put his hand into his pockets.

They were empty.

***

Eugenides looked up to the altar of his namesake, and clenched the ruby earrings tighter in his hands. He had stolen the earrings from his mother’s jewelry box just three days earlier, intending to present them to her with a smile and a glib comment about losing her touch.

She didn’t lose her touch, but she did lose her step, and the earrings stayed in his pocket throughout the funeral ritual and pyre.

The altar of Eugenides sparkled with the offerings from generations of Thieves. Near the front, Gen could see the fibula pins that were his grandfather’s offering, and scattered between them, the earrings that were his mother’s.

The ruby earrings burned in his hand.

A thief would only fall if her god drops her. So either Eugenides had dropped his mother, or…

“Or you don’t exist,” Gen said to the silent altar. He knew the sentence is heresy, especially said inside Hephestia’s temple, in front of her half-brother’s altar. But the other option was that Eugenides had dropped her. Eugenides had dropped his mother.

Gen clenched down even tighter on the ruby earrings, their points leaving indentations into his palm. Then, with a last look on the altar, he pocketed the earrings and turned around.

His grandfather’s words rang in his ears. Send a prayer as you start your work, send a prayer after you finish it, and leave a gift once a month on the altar of Eugenides. Gen had placed a gift on the altar this month, and he would do so again next month. The gods did not exist, or even if they did, they do not have any interest in lowly mortals such as themselves. But it would not do to abandon the tradition. He would leave a gift on the altar of Eugenides next month, just not these earrings.

Let the god of thieves have other earrings as gifts. This one, Gen would keep for himself.

***

With one hand outstretched, Gen carefully moved the velvet case containing the headband of the Queen of Attolia. She was beautiful, as she always was whenever Gen climbed into her chambers to look at her. Her face was expressionless, as it also always was, but in sleep, the lack of expression gave her a peaceful look, instead of the uncaring mask she wore whenever she wakes.

She suited the ruby inlaid in her headband marvelously. She would suit the earrings marvellously as well.

He had had the earrings remodelled, the design on the gold surrounding the ruby made to match the design on her headband. No one had asked what became of his mother’s ruby earrings after she died, and when he brought it to the goldsmith to be remodelled, the goldsmith did not recognize the earrings.

That was just as well.

The points on the earrings still left indentations on his hand. Gently, he opened his fist and placed the earrings, positioning them so that they are exactly next to the case.

Moonlight entered the windows of the queen’s chambers, dousing her features and softening them, making her look less like the stone statues of Hephestia and more like the girl who had danced under the orange trees, years and years ago. Eugenides wished that he could make her look like this all the time, and not just when she’s sleeping.

He stepped closer to the bed, drinking in the sight of her. A voice inside him urged him to reach out, to tangle his hand on her hair, but the more sensible voice inside him, one trained by years and years of practicing his trade, told him that to do so would be the most foolish thing he had ever done in a life full of doing foolish things.

He did not reach out. He stayed where he was, looking to the Queen of Attolia, watching as she drew in breath after breath. When the moonlight had dimmed, signalling that dawn was fast approaching, he nudged the earrings one last time, arranging them so that they looked as pleasing next to the case as he could, and climbed out of the queen’s chambers.

It would be foolish to think that the queen would wear his earrings, but then again, he made a living out of doing foolish things.

***

“My King,” Attolia said, not moving from where she was seated as her attendants did her hair. By now her attendants knew well enough the antics of her husband, and did not think if out of the ordinary that the queen was speaking to what seemed to be empty air. “Do you know where my ruby earrings are?”

Materializing out of nowhere, Attolis replied, “I thought they’re in your jewelry box?”

“They were,” his wife answered. “They are not anymore.”

Waving the attendants out of his way, Attolis made his way to the queen and placed the last of the pins in her hair. He took one look at the box, which was currently laid out on the queen’s dressing table for her to choose which jewels she would like to wear today. The ruby earrings were not the grandest of the jewelry inside the box, but they were very conspicuous in their absence.

“Oh,” the king breathed out. “She does grow bold.”

*

“Your Highness,” Costis called out to the seemingly empty tree in the courtyard of the palace of Attolia. “Please come down.”

No response.

“Your Highness,” he tried again.

This time, a small face appeared from between the leaves. “Shh, Costis!” the princess of Attolia said. “You’re going to get us caught!”

“Your Highness,” Costis said again, flashing back to all the times he had done this for the king. “I’m sure there is no one who would want to catch you.”

Just as he said that, however, another small figure appeared out of nowhere. “Nia!” the prince of Attolia cried out as he ran towards his sister. How he managed to evade the squad of guards assigned to guard him, Costis would never know. The same way his sister escaped hers, he supposed. “You have it!”

“No, I don’t!”

“Yes, you do!”

“No, I don’t!”

“Yes, you do! Why else are you in a tree?”

The princess changed her tactics immediately, the same way Costis had once seen Attolis do. “So what if I do?”

“You said we would get them together!” Hector protested.

“You’re too slow!” his sister retorted back.

“I’m not! You just keep leaving me!”

“If you can’t keep up, then you’re too slow, Hector,” Attolis said from somewhere behind Costis. Costis did not relax though. Not yet. It was always a toss on whether Attolis would curb his children’s behaviour or give them pointers on how to escape their flustered guards and caretakers running behind them.

Well, not really. Mostly the king would give pointers.

“And you don’t leave anyone behind, Eugenia,” the king continued, walking past Costis to the base of the tree. “A good companion is rare for a thief. You must take care of them.” He tilted his head up, and Eugenia, without even looking, jumped down to her father’s waiting arms.

“He’s too slow,” the princess said again. Hector, who had placed himself next to his father, complained. Loudly.

The king let out a snort of amusement. Ignoring the complaints from his son, he extended his hand towards the princess raised an eyebrow.

Scowling, the princess reached into her pockets and took out a pair of ruby earrings. Costis felt his eyes grow wide. Those are the queen’s ruby earrings, the pair that she wore more than any other earrings. There were many rumours surrounding that pair of earrings, and Costis was privileged enough to know that some of them did have a basis in truth.

Costis expected the king to pocket the earrings himself, but, as always, Attolis’s actions could not be predicted. He pulled the princess close and put the earrings on her ears, navigating them easily even with one hand.

Costis would never tire of watching his king doing things that never should have been possible with one hand.

After the earrings were in place, Eugenides brushed a hair out of her daughter’s face and pressed a kiss on her forehead. Then, after a shriek of protest, smiled and did the same for his son. The children then talk over each other, both of them eager to tell their father about the adventures they had today.

From his place behind his king and the princess and prince, Costis stood watch.

[lvnce-mcclain]

This is Totally Not a Fic, it’s only a Thought, okay, but imagine:

AU where Buck’s search for his calling didn’t lead him into the SEALs but rather the army, specifically right smack in Eddie’s squad somewhere near year two of his second tour. Miraculously Buck’s bullheadedness in being able to finish something he starts (his father’s words ring in the back of his head you won’t last a week, you’ll quit as soon as it gets too hard every time something he’s ordered to do nags at his conscience) outweighs his humanitarian nature long enough to make it to active duty.

(Fair warning I know next to nothing about the military, ok, go on)

Imagine Buck 1.0—self-satisfaction searching Buck, cocky and too-sure of himself to make up for the fact he has no fuckin’ clue what he’s gonna do with his life and he feels like he’s drowning out here in the desert, so he’s drinking every off night and hooking up with locals freely—meeting Army Sargeant Eddie. Imagine Eddie absolutely Not Having it from this dumbass kid, more ready to jump on a landmine for the heroic headline than listening to how to act as a part of a team.

Imagine Eddie—guilt ridden for leaving as soon as he found out Christopher was diagnosed and in denial he was running away, fighting with Shannon over their video calls more than he even gets updates about their son anymore—wound tighter than ever when Shannon shows up to a video alone one day, announcing she wants to separate and disconnects the call as Eddie starts to let that sink in, before he really knows what it means. Imagine Eddie stewing, finally going off on this Buckley one night about how he’s going to get someone killed with his more glory seeking behaviors because Buckley was the perfect target for all Eddie’s aggression—not like the kid didn’t have it coming, really, with his behavior and attitude and Eddie really, really needs something to hit so he’s kind of hoping it hits the wrong nerve for Buckley.

But then—then Buckley just. Doesn’t react. Well, doesn’t react in any way Eddie was expecting at least; before the sizzle of aggression begins to show in the defiant glare Buckley immediately sports—and Eddie’s thinking yes, this is what I needed—it’s fizzling out under weighted resignation. It’s like—like Buckley agrees, and just takes it, and it stops Eddie up short. He doesn’t know what to do with this Buckley that’s all soft-sunken shoulders and disappointment that’s too deep for Eddie to understand, so he leaves with adrenaline soaked bones.

The next day, Buckley still looks a little too introspective and Eddie can’t help but feel guilty at his outburst; the kid may be dumb, but he’s not a bad person. Eddie knows for a fact Buckley is the first many of their squad seeks out when hit with bad news, because he’s always quick smiles and solutions—knows that he’s also the first one to place a hand on a shoulder sunken in sorrow, and is quickly known by the local kids to be generous with sweets when placed in friendly territories.

So Eddie tucks tail and bolsters himself for an awkward apology after he finishes in the mess hall, but Buckley beats him to it; as soon as Eddie gets him alone, Buckley is all bunched shoulders and rapidfire remorse. Eddie can barely get a word in before he parses out what’s going on, and then he’s shaking his head and using the firmest tone he can muster that’s still friendly and telling Buckley that he “isn’t looking for an apology; it’s the other way ‘round, actually,” and there’s something a little too wondrous in Buckley’s expression so Eddie blurts out something like “you don’t deserve to be my emotional punching bag, ok? And you don’t need to be your own either, kid. Just take half the work you put towards being a pain in the ass and put it towards working and you’re gonna do just fine.”

After that, things get… Better. More tolerable, at least, from a work perspective. Buckley seems to put his head down and starts actually listening and the improvement is noticed even by some of Eddie’s peers, who joke over raised eyebrows about what Eddie could have done to tame the wild child of the whole company. There’s still some incidents of minor insubordination, but they’re fewer and farther between.

Buckley, meanwhile, has taken that whole talk as some sort of permission to hang around Eddie as much as possible and Eddie has to admit when he doesn’t have his head shoved up his own ass, Buckley can actually be good company. He’d never admit that out loud, of course. Buckley’s flipped some sort of switch and now he wants Eddie to tell him everything he knows about literally everything, and on the days Eddie feels the most patient it’s honestly pretty calming to just have a constant drone of information come from Buckley, whether just to reaffirm something he’d learned or looking to Eddie for approval over something new.

But then it’s a few weeks later when Eddie finally gets through to Shannon to talk about what the hell she had meant the last time they spoke, when she says she’s come to the decision to leave Christopher with Eddie’s parents so she can go take care of her sick mother. Eddie can’t believe it at first, his entire being slamming against this reality and refusing to accommodate it. He soon finds out this wasn’t a conversation but rather being informed over a decision already made, and then it’s over.

And sure enough, it’s Buckley who he seeks out first, who takes one look at Eddie and is hauling him away from prying ears and is all concern when he asks what happened. Eddie feels so tightly wound he’s going to snap if he doesn’t hit something, but there’s nothing here he can take a swing at; so instead he deflates, letting out all the hot air along with every heavy truth that has weighed in Eddie’s chest since he ran away from his son.

And Buckley… Seems to get it. (Eddie looks but doesn’t see a barely grown boy running from a distant father, looking at a new father struggling so hard to make the right decision for a son he obviously, obviously loves.) He has a more level head about it all than Eddie thought to give him credit for, quietly telling Eddie that what matters is that he stays solid for his son. That it doesn’t matter where he is, so long as Christopher knows he’s on Eddie’s mind, that’s all that’s gonna matter until he can get back stateside and be there for him. That every day will be a new step until then, and even bigger ones after, but all that matters is that Eddie tries to take them.

Buckley’s words stick with him while Eddie struggles to connect with Christopher over video, even though his parents try hard to push a connection, but the burn of that disappointment in himself grows. He vents it all to Buckley one night—the same night Buckley tells him he’s one incident away from being discharged, and there’s something a little too warm to be annoyance settling in Eddie’s chest at the news. By the time they both let themselves get riled up and pulled back down with deprecating jokes about what’s on their minds, that warmth has become a little more defined and Eddie thinks oh.

Eddie doesn’t get a chance to think too hard over the smallest flare of attraction that had been building in his chest, because by the next week Buckley is discharged for an altercation with a commanding officer and Eddie doesn’t see him again. Eddie loses a comfort he didn’t realize he’d grown into, and things are hard enough trying to focus on his family while thousands of miles away so he just doesn’t think too much more about it.

Things from there would go about the same for Eddie as canon: he gets sent home after his purple heart rescue, only this time he goes straight to his parent’s house and still struggles to get them to release their hold over Christopher (except it would be even harder for them now, with having interim custody); struggles with finding a job until applying for the fire fighters’ academy; ends up picking the LAPD with something small niggling in the back of his mind asking him to remember something about LA (but the offhand comment from Buckley one night over beers about a Plan B is too buried in Eddie’s memories to dig up).

Imagine how much s2 would change, how much of an impact it would have on Buck. I think this is enough for one Not Fic but I still have some Thoughts over this au so I might post them later. There’s just so much potential. 

Pt 2 HERE Pt 3 HERE and Pt 4 HERE

[bowieandqueen11]

Happiest I’ve Ever Been / 1990!Eddie Kaspbrak Imagine

Request: Can you make one about 1990!Eddie x Reader where he is really shy but finally kisses her after all that time being in love w her? You can do anything you want to actually, I just need something w this Eddie. Love your blog ♡ 

This is so cute! 1990!Eddie deserves so much more love <3

Comments are always appreciated! 

‘You’re in trouble, aren’t you Eddie bear?’

All the reasons not to do this come flooding in, as if Eddie’s body chemistry just sent them a blanket invitation. 

He feels the soft panic that can grow or fade depending on what he does next. It will fade if he backs away, allows himself to be folded into the arms of his mother, who will give him his medicine and make sure the outside world can never get him, never again. But it will grow if he lets these thoughts swirl into a vortex of stupidity, rattling inside his head at all the choices he had passed as a child, all the opportunities he had missed as a child. He could fix it all, right now. He could be braver, he could really be himself, if he left with you.

‘Strange’, he thought, as he opened the medicine cabinet in the bathroom, the smells of various vapour rubs and syrups reaching his nose. ‘I’m going back to Derry, but I’m also leaving the Derry version of myself behind.’

‘Please, ma. They’re already outside. I have to go-I have to.’

He shakes as he takes his inhaler and gives himself a much needed shot, closing his eyes in a bliss he already feels guilty for. Stuffing it in his pocket, he grabs a few metal sheets full of paracetamol as he rushes out past his mother and down the stairs, grabbing his jacket on the way.

His nails were already bitten down to the quick. He nibbled at their frayed form edges like a famished mouse, ignoring the wild eyes of his mother as she grabs onto his arm.

‘You’re scaring me so bad Eddie!’

The sweet smell of jasmine lingers in the air, the smell so suffocating, so thick and heavy it was like a shot of adrenaline right to his heart.

No more. No more. He will not be afraid this time. He will do what has to be done.

He is not frail. He is not what his mother made him.

‘Please, ma, it’s time. I need to go now- I need to be with them again. Really be with them this time, and you can’t stop me!’ 

Storming out the door, his suitcase bounces uncomfortably against his hip, a reminder of something, something that nags into his skin almost familiarly like the cold unwanted touch of a distant relative or like the little flicks of fear that begin to wind their inky tendrils against his thumping heart. Eddie only ignores the desperate pleas of Sonia Kaspbrak.

‘I’m so sorry I’m late. I got held up a bit.’

He sits down for a second on his doorstep, the feeling of rain cool against his hair and yet he’s still shaking. You move away from your car, coming down until your knee bumps against his own. If he’s stayed up all night it would have made no difference to his exhaustion. By the morning his bed sheets had been in a knot and aside from a few fit-full half hours of vivid dreams he didn't sleep a wink. All he could think of was the phone call.

‘Eddie, it’s Y/n. We need to go back, back to Derry. I’ll come pick you up in the morning...I can’t wait to see you again, I hope you feel the same.’

His stomach shifts uneasily and he notices that the hands that he is hugging himself with are pinching into his skin. He releases his hands but then he can't figure out what to do with them, so instead they clasp and unclasp each other as if in constant need of touch and reassurance. But what they need is to be able to touch you, to drink you in again. 

‘Not today, and never again’ he thinks, a foreign surge of confidence lifting his spirits as he loses control of himself for a moment, painfully aware of the red sock that begins to shift and slip down his left thigh; he feels as if he’s never really known where he’s been going, never really been in control of his own destiny, but by gosh was he going to make the most of whatever time he’s been given.

‘It’s okay, Eddie, we’re here now.’

‘But that’s the thing, Y/n. We’re here now, but we should never have been apart. How did I forget! How could I forget you?’

‘Do you- do you remember now?’

‘I knew this heartache I’ve felt for the last twenty seven years but due to something other than my sickness. It’s weird- I’m so scared, but also, sitting here with you, in the rain, is the happiest I’ve ever been, because I know one thing for certain.’

You laugh as you pull him up, fingers entangling together as he glances sheepishly at the floor. He pulls his glasses off with his trembling fingers, shoving them in the back pocket of his trousers.

‘Eddie, you’re rambling. What is it?’

There isn’t even a moment’s hesitation as he crashes his lips into yours.

There is something so heavenly about a kiss in the rain, a tender moment that just won't wait. It is that burst of love that is expressed, not caring if the water soaks through to chill the skin. It is a connection that shows the strength of the feeling, the mutual need. It is a rebellion against the elements.

He kissed the droplets from your lips, and he felt your lips smile against his. You reach up to sweep his blonde hair aside as he gently kisses you just over the collarbone, sinking himself into your arms, burying his face into your shoulder curve, hands flexing around your back. 

‘I love you, now and forever, no matter what happens next.’

[diazevans]

fueron tantas horas tan sólo y triste (hasta que te vi)

“And you know, with Shannon? I saw it happening. Slowly, but it wasn’t really a surprise” Her name still burns when he says it, still hurts, but he has learned to be honest with what they were. “With you, it felt like it slipped through my fingers when I wasn’t looking”

He knows it’s the beers and the moonlight, but putting it into words feels liberating.

or

Eddie has feelings he is finally able to put into the words.

After they get home from the park, Christopher is completely ready to crash. Normally, Eddie tries to not let him go to sleep this early now that he is a little older, trying to give him a schedule, but he knows physical activity leaves him tired, even when him and Buck were beside him all the time. He had even made Carla run behind him for a while, what had given the two men the chance to go completely crazy with the photos.

Eddie didn’t remember the last time he had smiled so hard. Probably since the Christmas party.

Now, it’s just the two of them, working around the kitchen while they drink a couple of beers. Or maybe a little bit more than two.

He feels relaxed and happy, calm for having put a smile on his kid’s face, so maybe that’s the reason that he goes to sit on the couch. Not even a minute after, Buck drops beside him, resting his arm on the back on the couch and Eddie is completely aware that, if he just moved a bit, he could press his head on Buck’s hand. In the end of a good day, he lets himself fall into temptation, instantly feeling how his best friend’s fingers accommodate to move softly on his hair. It almost makes him want to grow it again, so Buck has more room to play around.

With that feeling of content, it’s also easier to follow Frank’s advice. The past few weeks, they have been discussing feelings, the need to communicate things that may be in the past, but still affect the present and the future. At this point, his therapy is not even subtle about the fact that they are, more than not, talking about his relationship with Buck.

“I missed this” After their other talk a few days before, when they discussed the whole skateboarding incident, Eddie had come to session worried and guilty, but also feeling supported. He didn’t feel alone, even when Christopher was taking it only on him and he expressed that in session.

Next time he felt that way, he was supposed to say it, so here he was.

“What exactly did you miss, Eddie?” There is a light teasing tone that makes Eddie open his eyes, unsure when did he actually close them. He doesn’t complain, however, because Buck is giving him that soft smile that sometimes feels reserved only for him and Christopher. The one that makes his heart beat too fast and too slow at the same time.

“You. Us ” To make his point clear, he nudges Buck’s hand. “I’m grateful that we can get this after, you know, lawsuits and fights”

The fact that he wants to talk about feelings now doesn’t mean he is an expert on how to do it in the blink of an eye. That’s painfully obvious when the smile on Buck’s lips disappear and his hand is already moving away from Eddie’s head, but he is quick to catch it with his own.

“Hey, no , I’m not saying it to make you feel bad” He does his best to keep his voice in the same soft tone they were using, so Buck knows he is not trying to start a fight. “I just… I guess I thought you should know how grateful I am that we got a day like this“ The other man doesn’t seem to believe him completely, but his shoulders relax a bit. “I’m glad that we are a family again”

It’s always a mystery for Eddie how easily Buck lets his emotions run, like nothing bad can happen out of that. One second, he looks upset and the next, his face is so earnest that Eddie would had to sit down if he wasn’t already on the couch.

“We never stopped, Eddie. Even when we were angry with each other, that never changed”

And there it is again, that safe feeling that only Buck can give him now. It warms every part of him and rests in his heart, so solid that not an earthquake could move it away.

Yet, his mind supplies that it was taken away, not so long ago.

“It didn’t feel like that when you put the lawsuit” He sounds sad even to his own ears and that’s probably the reason that this time, Buck doesn’t try to move away from him. In fact, he moves closer. “Back then, I thought we were us and then it felt like I was alone, again ” Absolutely every bone in his body told him to shut up, to stop before it was too late, but he was so tired to pretend Buck’s absence hadn’t break him in the middle.

That this wasn’t just a best friend’s betrayal.

“And you know, with Shannon? I saw it happening. Slowly, but it wasn’t really a surprise” Her name still burns when he says it, still hurts, but he has learned to be honest with what they were. “With you, it felt like it slipped through my fingers when I wasn’t looking”

He knows it’s the beers and the moonlight, but putting it into words feels liberating.

Buck’s face is doing a million things at the same time, but he sees his eyes shine and fuck, that was so not what he was expecting “Eddie,I… I thought I would lose you, I needed to fight to get back to you ”

There is no more pretense that this is a group thing, that this between them was the main factor of everything had happened.  

He takes a moment to turn to their hands, that are still linked, and raises them to press a lingering kiss on them. It gives him a second to get back his voice “I know” Because he is always known, but was too much of a coward to admit it. Now, however, he is ready and even if it’s ugly, even if it’s hurt, he has to let it out. They both deserve it “But I didn’t get that. I didn’t get to fight for it” He shrugs, feels his own eyes burn uncomfortably “You were just gone”

There had been so much confusion when it happened, so much hurt that was born out of it. Eddie didn’t understand when things started to go wrong, or what had he said to make Buck believe that he had to do that. Nothing made sense, nothing filled the space that the other man had left without so much of a doubt. He knew know why it happened but in that moment? It just destroyed him.

He doesn’t know how or when, but suddenly Eddie is embraced by strong arms that put him against chest and he does nothing but breath deeply, feeling himself get lose in Buck’s scent. Safe . “I’m sorry, Eddie. I’m really sorry” Buck has said sorry a million times, but for Eddie, it felt like the first time he actually knew why it had hurt so much.

It’s almost too much , but he moves his arms around the other man, moving slightly so he can hug him back. “Don’t ever stop talking to me” It’s almost a plea and he can’t be embarrassed for it. “Even if it’s bad, even if you are mad at me, just tell me. Give me a chance to fight for us”  

If Buck asked, Eddie would drop to his knees to beg. To ask him to never leave him side.

But Buck loves him, loves him as much as Eddie loves him and when he speaks, his voice is also desperate and his hands clings to his back like he is scared he will disappear from his arms. “You don’t ever have to fight for me again, Eddie. I promise ”

“Or you for me. For us ” It feels important to put some distance, so those beautiful blue eyes can stare at his when he says this “We are your family, firefighter or not. Okay? We belong to you and you belong to us ”

Buck’s eyes go impossibly softer at that and he exhales so deeply that Eddie sees all of his body losing a tension that he didn’t even know it was there.

It dawns on him that this feeling of not belonging it’s the weight Buck’s been carrying.

When Buck surge forward, like he can’t help himself, Eddie meets him in the middle. The kiss tastes like his special smile, the one that is warm and moves Eddie’s entire life to something better, always to something better.

It’s something old and new, something unspoken and screamed into the air; Eddie feels like kissing was always something made for them.