#and drawing for someone else - especially with monetary expectations just makes me so nervous
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Someone asked me about commissions earlier, which only happened to me once before by a friend, and I'm freaking out a bit, but more on the panicky side
#i always liked the idea of someone enjoying my art to the point of wanting to commission me#but now i don't feel deserving of it#and drawing for someone else - especially with monetary expectations just makes me so nervous#I'm also not sure i want the connection between money and fandom#but i also keep saying i wish i could have a job in art one day like a fucking clown#heLP#i hate that whenever i receive a compliment (in a roundabout way or not) my brain tries to convince me that everyone is lying to me#i should start trying to gaslight myself into the opposite#i don't think my view on my art is as distorted as it used to be#but i also still see all the flaws and so i get sad whenever i receive a compliment????#this isn't normal right
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