#and don't get me started on people unironically shipping jason and the joker

[thinkingofausername]

i NEEEEEEEED people to stop oversexualizing characters cause how tf are people out there being dead serious as they sexualize ak!jason WHILE HE WAS BEING TORTURED. that is a literal CHILD. a MINOR. people out there talking about the arkham knight being some sex god, daddy, kinky freak like oh my god bffr. i doubt he could handle any kind of touch let alone sex. people are crazy istg

[theotherstuffblog]

I asked the question on my main account and I love these additions - Jason sitting in the English department meetings trying not to burst out in laughter as the other teachers have mental breakdowns over why these kids are actually so well-behaved and other departments are staring in jealousy.

Okay, but, imagine the stuff Jason would get up to as a professor?? Includes at least (but definitely not limited to):

Jason low-key shipping at least two (2) couples per class that get together and have healthy relationships. (On an unrelated note, Professor Jodd (tell me he wouldn't do something like that) has been proclaimed a love god and students and teachers alike come to him so that he can 'bless' them with a good relationship or assess their current one)

Has literally fought a psychology professor in the parking lot for over-analyzing him

Has also literally fought a medicine professor for saying "I diagnose you with Bitch Syndrome. It's incurable."

Duke walks in to his English class, sees his brother and jumps out the window. Why is his crime lord brother teaching his English 112 class?? Yeah, fuck that.

Had three (3) fires in one day. Nobody knows how they started. They just happened.

Upon having one (1) student bring up Shakespeare (it was a goon. As a RH test. Tell me this wasn't Jeff, I dare you), he rants for the entire lecture time and more. Students stay after class, enraptured in this.

When Richard Grayson-Wayne somersaults into his classroom, Jason literally throws him out the window.

"So some shit happened and I got stressed. On an unrelated note, I have a lot of cookies for you all to take home! Please take them. I have too many."

Jason, completely deadpan, tells people that they should take him seriously because he's carried around a tote bag full of severed heads. The teachers laugh it off because Jason's a big Softie™ that brings in baked goods to every teacher meeting. The students think either it's a joke or that this confirms that Jason Jodd is indeed Dad Hood.

Joker tries to attack this one class, seeing as it's one that's whispered about in the streets. I say tried because Professor Jason Jodd pauses his speaking, turns, reaches under his leather jacket, pulls out a handgun, and shoots the Joker immediately. Upon the Joker falling down, Jason turns back and continues with, "Anyway-"

Batman coming in (as a result of the Joker being there), seeing their professor and sighing like he's attempting to release all of the oxygen out of his body.

The Joker dying after Agent A comes along and accidentally manages to trip very elegantly over his body, opening the wounds more and making him bleed out during a lecture on composition. Agent A's reaction to the death becomes a meme overnight, simply deadpanning, "Oh, bullocks. How very tragic." as the Joker gets wheeled out on a stretcher.

And then he leans into the microphone and says normally, "If it had been two more weeks, I would've had to take matters - and guns - into my own hands."

Professor Jason Jodd is now very famous and no one dares to mention how he looks like if Jason Todd grew up. The goons are practically dying in their seats every time Jason so much as breathes in their direction.

Red Robin coming in, seeing some goons that have unironically called him "Uncle Red" before and awkwardly says "don't do drugs, kids" before passing out

Alfred being brought in for some reason (to help Jason act out part of a play maybe) and Prof. Jodd introduces him as "Grandpa Alfie, who is God-"

Bruce motherfucking Wayne being brought in and is introduced as "my bitch-ass adopted father but I guess I still love him"

And the rest of the Batfam too

Because tell me he wouldn't

The University is wondering when the stream of Waynes will end. There is no end in sight. Jason Jodd is in the middle of 17,000 siblings. There are too many.

The entire University is crumbling apart because of one (1) goon named Jeff that started this all. The world will never be the same. And, across the city, Bruce gets a headache. Alfred is like "that's a good chap right there, why can't you be more like Master Jason, Master Bruce?"

P.S. All the homies hate Chad

P.P.S. I went a bit overboard but I had a lot of fun!!

P.P.P.S. If someone makes a fic of this, please tag me!! I'd love to read it!!!

P.P.P.P.S. Got any recs for AO3 accounts and/or Batfam fics??

May I present: Red Hood helping street kids/goons out with homework, especially English homework??

Like, let's say the Goon Named Jeff goes to college to get his degree but, y'know, you gotta take at least one English class to get a degree (at least in the US). Cue Jason overhearing Goon Jeff complaining about Shakespeare and Jason just goes off. Jason recognizes the homework from some other Wayne kid (or maybe even himself) and so knows just how to get an A on it.

It's likely the middle of the night and many of them are likely sleep-deprived, and yet there's a small crowd of goons and underlings forming.

Jeff ends up handing his homework in and gets an A (of course), goes back to RH and tells him "thanks, boss!" ("Don't call me boss") and spreads the news. Now kids and goons and underlings alike flock to RH when they need homework help. Once, a kid goes up to Tim and says, "Uncle Red, can you help me with my maths?" And even though Tim is like "wtf" he does.

There's also now a theory that Red Hood is an English professor at Gotham University so now every English professor there gets tons of goons analyzing them, being nice to them, and have a few call them "dad" or "boss"

Needless to say, the English professors are very confused.

Oh my absolute goodness gracious I love every single about this so much

And that end. 🤣

Yeah, that’d be hilarious. Every other faculty members why the English department gets all the perfectly behaved students who all them in their homework on time and never give the professors headaches whatsoever. Meanwhile the English professors have conspiracy boards and group texts and have begun developing their own code, which makes the linguistics department wonder what the heck is going on over there