#and don't forget she doesn't remember anyTHING so get OUT and LET HER BE
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izloveshorses · 10 months ago
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i know i always talk about how they cut crossing a bridge, but one thing we need to complain about more often is the cut Temper Tantrum in learn to do it. 'we decided it was out of character for anya to throw a fit like that, so we removed it' ??? okay??? god FORBID a woman get tired!!!!! looks like we aren't allowed be irritable anymore, ladies pack it up!
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h1biscusgal · 2 months ago
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I fucking entered the void.
Long post ahead!
@premiumbitch I owe u every shit wtf, your method was INSANE?
REMEMBER HOW I TOLD Y'ALL IMMA BE ENTERING THE VOID ON MY BIRTHDAY???? I did it, and guys it's literally the easiest shit idk why some people see it as smth big 💀
I didn't manifest anything, why? Because guess it or not I actually just wanted to be familiar with it, I love how I'm slowly knowing everything is mine, and yesterday I didn't want to manifest anything I just wanted to try the void out especially bc I have been studying sm these days, I wanted a break.
Now I've been eating up that mindset that I'm a master at the void, which let's be obvious, everyone is, they just need to get to the point and slowly realize it, it has to click.
Okay I'm going to stop yapping and fucking get into it 👍🏻, either way, yesterday night, at 1:32 AM or smth, after the day turned 6th April, I got in bed and made myself comfortable, and simply told myself I'll enter the void under 5 minutes, which actually and unsurprisingly, it was the case, I used a standard boring ass method too yk, the one where it's usually always what people do.
On my back, started slow breathing, and i set the intention of keeping myself awake when my body sleeps (best advice I got from idk who it helps sm) and then I let myself sink in the bed for some minutes, like I just laid there, and already I immediately was in the SATs.
So naturally I affirmed for the void, knowing I'm already in there, and mf I slipped in there after two or three minutes of affirming, just saying "I am the void." Or "I am in the void."
I think the reason I actually got out myself or sometimes used to slip in and back, is how I immediately focused on my body signs or anything connected me to myself, so I have a note to myself next time, to allow it naturally happen and focus just on the blackness behind my eyes.
ANYWAYS I STAYED THERE FOR LIKE I THOUGHT 2 OR 3 MINUTES BUT IT WAS A WHOLE WHOPPING 1 HOUR TF, and get that, how did I know it's the void? I just wanted to see stars there and I fucking did 🎀
IMMA GO CRY I FINALLY AM THE CREATER OF MY OWN REALITY.
anyone reading this, babes please don't give up, genuinely don't, I've been in this game for 6 years and I know a lot of people that'll leave for this long, saying they have no patience, girly you can do it if I did, I used to be in SUCH a bad place you can't even imagine, I pulled my shit and started living in the end for 2 months (and no it doesn't take two months, I just was stubborn af and kept slipping in and out my beliefs).
Special thanks to them for keeping my motivation up 💗
@joc3lynn @catherineaboutlife @salemlunaa @premiumbitch @prettygirl444sblog @mercifulstate @shimmershifts @littlemissprettyprincess @luckykiwiii101 @carlyshifts111 (I adore her oml her RAS thing? ATE the fuck up)
And of course can't forget @gorgeouslypink but idk if she's here anymore? And every old blog back in the 2022 and 2020, I adore y'all sm even though I don't have your blog's names 😔🎀.
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unreasonablerobin · 15 days ago
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PUCKER UP!
Damian Alg Ghul x Girly!Reader
Synopsis: It's hard to believe this cold, ruthless assassin would let someone even think of putting eyeshadow on him... not after they found out about you.
W.C: 3.0k
Tags: Fluff ♡, some brief mentions of blood/injury, smau
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"Damian, are you wearing," Stephanie paused. "Polish?"
Tim looked up from the computer in record speed at the question. His brother, demon child, wearing nail polish? Whatever direction this conversation was about to go he needed to be involved.
"Don't be ridiculous Brown." Damian spat back.
"Very defensive for a supposedly innocent man." Tim quirked a teasing brow. Damian's scowl deepened at the sight
"And the questions have only begun!" Stephanie added with a clasp of her hands. Damian's tormentors took a deep breath in preparation.
"What's with you smelling so good recently?"
"Why do you have specks of glitter on your face?"
"How are your hands soooo soft?"
"I really need you to be honest with me on this one Damian," Stephanie said rather sternly. A serious expression on her face and a finger pointed at Damian.
Okay, that made him a tad nervous. Is something wrong with Stephanie? Did he upset her in some way?
"How are you glowing?"
What.
"You're a vigilante! You barely sleep and spend your days *a"Damian, are you wearing," Stepahine paused. "*Polish?*"
Tim looked up from the batcomputer in record speed at the question. His brother, demon child, wearing nail polish? Whatever direction thus conversation was about to go he *needed* to be involved.
"Don't be ridiculous Brown." Damian spat back.
"Very defensive for a supposedly innocent man." Tim quirked a teasing brow. Damian's scowl deepened at the sight
"And the questions have only begun!" Stephanie added with a clasp of her hands.
"What's with you smelling so good recently?"
"Why do you have specks of glitter on your face?"
"How are your hands *soooo* soft?"
"I really need you to be honest with me on this one Damian." Stephanie said rather sternly. A serious expression on her face and a finger pointed at Damian.
Okay, that made him a tad nervous. Is something wrong with Stephanie? Did je upset her someway?
"How are you glowing?"
What.
"You're a vigilante! You barely sleep and spend your days and nights sparring! You're skin should be awful, you should reak of sweat!"
"Wow, thank you." Damian deadpanned and Tim chuckled.
"But you're not! You're..." She swished her hands around trying to find the word
"Radiant!"
"How'd you do it?" She plopped herself into a desk chair. It skid across the floor a little closer to Tim's from force of impact. She stared in awe waiting fir her answers. Damian sighed, really not wanting to tell them about probably your most common date; spa and makeup nights. Self care nights as you called them.
This morning...
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Frantic footsteps echoed through the walls of your home as you scurried around trying to get everything you needed. Picking up makeup products just to drop them remembering that you already had it over at the manor. Your hair was somewhat done, you were dressed and had all your jewelry on. So at the very least you looked presentable.
'What else do I need?' Your eyes scanned the now messy bedroom, you'd have to clean it when you get back. A ring from the doorbell had you rushing down the stairs.
'Doesn't matter haven't the time for anything else." You flopped down onto the bench by the front door and grabbed your favourite shoes, chucking them on as quick as possible. After taking a deep breath you slipped out the door.
"Hello Alfred!"
"Good morning Ms. Y/n," Alfred greeted with a smile. "May I take your bag?"
"Oh, thank you!" He took your bag from you and opened the car door. You always forget that Alfred actually does butler things and isn't just a member of the Wayne family.
The seat belt clicked and you gave it a quick tug to make sure it was secure. Can't risk having anything happen to this pretty face!
The car came to a slow stop at the tall, metal gates leading to the Wayne Manor. You'll never get over how beautiful Damian's home is. The gates opened slowly. The grande and detailed architecture loomed before you as you stepped out at the steps to the front door. Alfred handed you your bag and headed up the steps to open the manor door.
It was a magical feeling everything you came here. The manor always smelt so clean, but rich, and yet cosy.
"Y/n!" A voice boomed from around the corner of the entrance. It was Dick.
"It's nice to see you again." He leaned in a gave you side hug.
"It's nice to see you too!" You reciprocated. "How are you?"
"I've been good, what about yourself?"
"Eh, alright. School has me busy."
"Yeah I imagine. Damian's been swamped with assignments."
"Beloved." Damian called from the top of the stairs before he made his way down. You met him at the last step. He took your bag from you and turned away.
"Come on." He began to head back up the stairs and to his bedroom.
"You're a real romantic, you know that Damian." Dick deadpanned at his little brother's actions. You laughed to yourself as you followed Damian.
Damian sat on his bed, scribbling some notes down, whilst you took up the space at his desk. He has a perfectly good bathroom with a mirror, but you choose to use his desk and your compact mirror. Simply so you can stay in the same room as him. If you hadn't already set yourself and your products up he would've offered to do his work in the bathroom, on the floor beside you. It's inefficient but it's with you.
He looked up and realised you were almost done. You were finishing up your mascara. All that was left was your lips. Remembering he was in possession of one of your lip glosses he reached into his bedside locker.
"You're lips gloss, beloved." He called and stretched his hand out with the clear and silver container rested in his palm.
"Thank you!" You shuffled over in his desk chair. After snatching your lip gloss you took a moment to stare.
"You have very nice lashes." Damian stared back in confused silence for a second before responding.
"Thank you."
"I should do your makeup!" You gasped.
"Absolutely not."
"Oh come on!"
"No."
"Babe please!" You begged as you hopped onto the bed beside him with a pout. He quietly examined your face. Several beats of silence passing before he spoke with a sigh. He was going to regret this.
"Fine."
He just couldn't say no. I mean, how could anyone say no to a smile like yours? That gorgeous toothy, smile that makes him weak in the knees. You could be dripping head to toe in blood and he still wouldn't be able to deny your heart of what it desires. So here he was, hands settled on your thighs, occasionally leaving to grab some sort of product for you. You were working your magic, eyes locked onto his tanned face. One hand was settled under his jaw, hoping his face up and your dominant hand held a small brush coated in concealer. He had learnt that this was possibly your least favourite step, after eyeliner, carving eyebrows. No matter what they just never seemed to be even.
You leaned back and held his face infront of you like it was your newest oil painting.
"Damn, I'm cooking so hard right now." You smirked at the sight. Symmetrical eyebrows.
"You're not cooking beloved, we are not even on the kitchen."
"No! I mean," you cut yourself off laughing. Damian didn't spend much time on social media. He just didn't find any entrainment in it. "It's slang for doing something really well."
You stretched your back and took another moment to simply look at him. My god was he beautiful. You don't know how you managed to bag someone so handsome and so repulsed by everybody.
"Beloved?"
"Hm?"
"You're staring." Warmth rushed to your face at the comment. To be fair, you were staring, hard. It's not your fault though! He's just so gorgeous!
...
"It's not fair!" You suddenly shouted.
"What do you need such nice brows and lashes for?" Your hands wildly gestured towards his face. He didn't flinch at any of your antics. Just quirked the corner of his lips up.
"For you to admire, I suppose."
"You better not get them seared off during some misson." You warned.
"I'll cry!"
"Please don't cry over something so miniscule." Damian pleaded with some concern. You actually crying at the sight of him with his eyebrows and lashes seared off is not an impossible scenario.
He sighed in contentment as your train of thoughts slowed and you picked the makeup brush back up. Your hands cupped his face again and he subconsciously leaned into it. He remembers the gallery of texts that had been exchanged that eventually led to these spa and makeup dates.
1 month ago...
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He lazily held his phone above his face. His costume was torn up and discarded on the floor of his bedroom. He was lying to you again. Patrol was not fine. He was not fine. A concerningly deep gash was hidden under some already bloody wrapped bandages on his upper left arm. He had not gotten a wink of sleep in two days. He was exhausted, in every possible way. But you sending pictures of your cat in hopes it would cheer him up, really did work. You couldn't make the physical pain of his injury and exhaustion go away but you could always take it off his mind.
The morning sunlight shined through your open window. You squinted reading the texts from your boyfriend. Sighing, you got up to get ready for the day. You didn't know what to do. Damian was always drained from his vigilante activities and there's no way you can persuade him to take more days off than Bruce already forces him to take. The big mirror on the bathroom wall reflected you thinking face, that was also covered in toothpaste. As you spat it out an idea came to mind. Skincare, snacks, and time together. That's what makes you relax, surely it would help Damian out too. You're a genius.
The summer air was warm against your skin. You opted to walk to the corner store since the weather was so nice. You'll grab some of his favourite snacks and some face masks for you both.
Upon entering the shop, a cool breeze from the air-con and the refrigerated section hit you. It was refreshing. You headed for the snack section picking up some crisps and sweets for you both to share. After scanning the whole shelf of food you nodded in satisfaction at the collection in your arms and made your way to the hygiene section. You nabbed some deodorant and two green tea face masks before going to the counter.
$19.50, the economy's gone crazy.
The handles of the paper bag crumpled in your grasp. Damian would've given out to you for texting while walking, but he wasn't here so it was fine. You pulled out your phone, it's charming swinging about, and sent him a text, inviting him over for the night.
That evening...
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You forgot to mention that the snacks you got earlier included face masks. He needed a break. A moment to relax. What better way than a night with his amazing girlfriend, a cool and hydrating face mask, surrounded by tasty snacks? That sounds like a dream to you. You had all your usual skincare set out on your bathroom countertop. You swayed back and forward awaiting Damian's arrival. You couldn't exactly continue you're routine without your toner. As you plugged your phone in to charge, the sweet chime of your doorbell rang through your home. You padded down the stairs, nearly slipping in your fluffy slippers. The lock was undone and the door was sung open quickly, like it held the cure to all you're problems on the other side. You'd say it did.
"Hi!" Damian had the bag of shopping tucked to the side before the door was even open. He knew you'd jump straight into his arms. It was routine at this point.
"Hello beloved." His greeting was muffled by your shoulder. Damian stepped inside and gently kicked the door shut. A quiet wince escaped him as he dropped you back onto your feet. Unfortunately for him, the noise didn't escape you, but you held your tongue for the moment.
"I got what you asked for and some popcorn," He handed the bag to you and knelt to remove his shoes. "I know you always forget it."
"I knew I forgot something!" You looked down into the bag to see your favourite popcorn. As much as you love it you never remember to buy it.
"Thank you!" A loving peck was place upon Damian's cheek. He gazed down at you as you took his hand, leading him up the stairs and to your bedroom.
He sat himself down on your plushie-infested bed. The pink duvet dipped beneath him. You hummed to yourself as you continued your skincare routine now that you had your toner.
Damian subtly shifted his arm. That gash from last night (this morning?) still hurt like hell. Alfred had stitched and wrapped it up for him. He removed his hoodie to see the bandages had been soaked through with blood. They really needed to be changed.
'I should've done this before I came here.' He internally groaned as he grabbed a box of bandage wraps from his bag.
'Need to be quick.' Damian used a blade he always carried to slice off the dead bandages. He shoved them into the bandage box and made a mental reminder to toss them out later. He didn't like lying to you but he hated seeing you worried more. As time went on Damian found that wrapping a wound is a lot more difficult with one hand.
You re-emerged from the bathroom to see Damian trying to wrap his arm back up as quickly as possible. Old, bloody bandages discarded somewhere he hoped you wouldn't find. He knew if you saw the quantity of blood he'd lost you freak out. More than you were about to.
"Oh my god, Damian!" You yelped. "You said your patrol went fine!" The face masks were abandoned onto your vanity as you bolted over to him.
"This is no big deal Habibti," He groaned as he accidentally grazed his nails across the gash. "I've dealt with worse."
"Just cause you've dealt with worse doesn't mean this is fine!" Damian didn't have the opportunity to rebuttal. His injured arm was being gently cradled in your hand as you gripped the other and dragged him into the bathroom.
"Sit here." You gestured at the closed toilet seat. You began rummaging through your drawers. A bottle of saline solution was in your grasp. You picked up some cotton pads you typically use to clean off your makeup.
"I use this to clean my piercings when they're new. It should be fine to clean around your stitches." You informed him as you poured some onto the cotton pad and leaned forward.
"This'll sting."
"I'll be fine." His body tensed up at the contact of the cold liquid. It did in fact sting, but he was too busy focusing on the smell of your perfume. As you clean his wound he distracts himself from the irritating feeling by gazing at your perfume collection and trying to figure out which one you were wearing. The bang of your small trash can against the wall as you discarded the cotton pads brought him back. You threw out the bandages that he had begun to wrap around the wound a moment ago and grabbed a box of fresh ones. He watched as you carefully wrapped his arm up. You certainly weren't as familiar with the task as he was, thankfully, but you were doing a better job since you had two hands to work with instead of one.
"And, all done!" You sang with pride as you stuck the end of the bandage with a Sanrio plaster.
"Really?"
"It's my personal touch," you placed your hands on your hips. "A reminder of who's always here to take care of you." You finished softly. He couldn't help but let a little small find its way onto his face.
"Thank you, beloved." Damian stood up and glanced at his left arm. If any of his family saw this he wouldn't hear the end of it.
"Wait here!" You scurried out of the room and returned with two packets of face masks in your hands.
"No."
"Oh come on!" You pleaded.
"It'll feel nice, and it'll be fun!" He stared at you slightly displeased.
"I'll give you a kiss?"
"You'd do that anyway, you are my partner."
"I'll give you a lot of kisses." He took in your swaying figure and tight-lipped smile. You desperately him to relax and have a bit of fun with you.
He sighed, "fine."
You hugged him, leaning into his good arm.
"No pictures though."
"Ugh, fine!" You pushed away and propped yourself onto the sink countertop. You giggled to yourself as you opened one of the packs.
"C'mere!" He situated himself between your legs, his hands holding the edge of the counter.
"Put this on." A colourful headband was shoved into his hands as you put your own on. He glanced at you to see if you were serious. All he saw was your giddy face. Reluctantly he put the headband on, pushing his dark hair out of his face.
"You can't touch your face once this is on, okay?" You held his face as a brush covered in green rubbed along his skin. What has his life come to?
Here you were sitting on a countertop with your boyfriend between your legs. Both are sporting green face masks. You couldn't help but laugh at Damian's serious expression. He was counting down the seconds until he could take the concoction off his face.
"When do you plan on fulfilling your end of the deal?" He asked very seriously. Did I mention he's very serious about this?
"When we take these off."
He exhaled roughly through his nose, like a fire breathing dragon.
"You'll live until then!" Your arms were thrown over his shoulders and your fingers fidgeted with the hair on the nape of his neck.
"Maybe."
"You're lucky I didn't make you wear cucumbers on your eyes." Damian huffed from beside you. The two of you were snuggled under the covers of your bed and surrounded by snacks. It was basically heaven. An action movie Damian had heard Dick talk about with high praise played in the background. He turned to face you, you were rested on his right side, his good arm loosely around your waist.
"What?" You questioned as he stared at you.
"The deal." As interesting as the movie was he had some other priorities. He watched as a grin spread across your face.
"What deal?"
"Oh come on."
"I have no idea what you're talking about!" You shrugged your shoulders theatrically.
"Tch." He clicked his tongue and brought you closer by the arm around your waist. You braced one hand on his chest and the other on the mattress. The bags beneath his eyes were so much more visible from this distance. They made you remember why Damian was here to begin with. So you leaned him and pressed your lips to his.
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A/N: So happy I got back the motivation to feed the Girly!Reader fans. Idk what to do cause I've got so many other ideas and fuck all Girly!Reader ideas... I'm not stopping Girly!Reader series, but I don't think I'll be posting any Girly!Reader stuff for a while. Especially since I want to try to write for some non DC characters. (Tim Drake x Slasher!Reader is burning in the background.)
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dragonsondragons · 26 days ago
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Prologue - Hard To Resist | You Should Probably Leave series
In which Jack’s therapist challenges him to enjoy the daytime and he admits he has a work crush.
Content: yearning!jack, medical social worker!reader, reader is Jack’s work crush, slow burn, tons of therapy, working through trauma, Jack on his #healingjourney, angst, unspecified age gap. 
Word Count: 2.1k
Authors Note: Enjoy the first little snippet of this story! This part is solely Abbot's POV during a therapy session, but next part we will see him interacting with reader and the rest of the Pitt crew. Yay! Let the yearning begin, hope you enjoy :) This series is based on the song You Should Probably Leave by Chris Stapleton, I would highly recommend giving it a listen before/while reading.
(I thought this gif from Chicago PD was so Jack at his therapists office lol)
[Next part] [Masterlist]
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Jack’s therapist had recommended that he try to get more comfortable in the daytime. His relative ease in the darkness of the night was a useful coping mechanism for a time, she explained to him one session, but he didn't have to be in fight mode anymore. She was encouraging him to seek out safety and connection in the daytime so that his past had less control over his present. 
Jack had scoffed when she said that. Because what else does his past do than rear its ugly head every moment of every day? And did he even want to forget it? All of those soldiers he couldn’t save? They deserved to be remembered. 
“This isn’t about forgetting them,” she reminded him, “but rather processing your past experiences so that they are less distressing in the present. Putting yourself outside of your comfort zone of the night could be empowering. It could give you enough space to hold those people with you and move forward living as full of a life as you can. In their honor.”
“In their honor,” Jack echoed, mulling it over. He could do that. He wanted to do that. Move forward. That’s why he was doing all this work in therapy. But one thing he had come to find out, is that actually changing is a lot harder than knowing you want to. 
“Any ideas on what could be your first attempt at enjoying the daytime? Maybe some sort of social interaction,” she led him with her question. Her and Jack had talked about the power of improving social bonds before, how they can create community and give someone a deeper experience of life. Jack promised to give it a try but admittedly doesn't follow through much on that one. Jack didn’t really want a deeper experience of life if that meant opening yourself up to feeling all the pain that comes along with it more deeply, too.
“I don’t know, doc. I don't have many friends.” 
“Outside of work, you mean?” she said, surprised at his statement. He spoke of his coworkers all the time, they seemed plenty friendly.
“Well…there’s Robby. We hang out outside of work.” By that, he means that they push each other around at beer league hockey when their work schedules allow it and then grab a beer after. Other than that, their main points of interaction are admittedly at work, often on the roof of PTMC. 
“Yes, there’s Robby. But that's not exactly out of your comfort zone. That's pretty firmly within it from what I know.” Jack was silent, not keeping eye contact like he usually does. She could see there was something he wasn’t letting on. She never forced Jack to talk about anything he wasn’t ready to. That's something he appreciated about his therapist. But she also knew when she could push him a little bit. “Anyone else, then?” He’s silent again. She let it simmer, waiting for him to fill the gaps.
“There’s someone I work with,” Jack blurts out, his ears turning red. His knee was bouncing up and down. 
Your face flashed in his mind and he wrung his hands together. Jack was usually good at composure, but he found himself starting to crumble at the mere thought of you.
“You seem a little nervous. Care to tell me more about this someone?”
“Uh, well…yeah, she makes me a little nervous sometimes. But mostly she calms me down.” He wasn’t letting on much.
“Hmm, what about her calms you down?” his therapist hummed, encouraging him to continue.
“She's a social worker in the ED. Smart, caring, great at what she does,” he rambles. “We eat lunch together sometimes. If the timing works out on shift. When I'm having a shitty time at work… sometimes she makes me feel better. Just her being there.” He thinks about your knee brushing against his under the table after he made you laugh. Some stupid story about a guy who broke his femur literally slipping on a banana peel.
“So what about her makes you nervous then, if she makes you feel better?” 
“I mean– she's beautiful, that's mostly what makes me nervous.”
I can’t believe I just said all that, he facepalms internally. With all the respressing Jack does, sometimes a feeling will just catch up to him out of nowhere. There are a lot of things he used to distract himself throughout the day. From working in the ED or drowning out the silence at home with the police scanner, to working out until his whole body ached and volunteering at the VA. But there was never enough to fully distract him, eventually whatever it was he was trying to prevent floats to the surface.
After losing his wife years ago, after losing his brothers in a desert overseas, Jack had played it pretty close to the chest with his feelings. If he doesn't show his emotions, even to himself, then he could try to pretend they don’t exist. That the pain doesn’t exist. 
But that's why he’s in therapy, because the pain still very much exists. And one day he finally realized he couldn’t go on any longer without doing something about it. That was more than a year ago now. 
For this to work, you have to be honest with me, he remembers his therapist saying in their first session. But most importantly you have to be honest with yourself.  
If he’s being real honest with himself, he likes you. He had barely even admitted it to himself before today, but god he likes you. And with each day you were getting harder and harder for him to resist. 
Now, he had practically announced the crush to his therapist. Admitting out loud that he has some type of feelings for you made him more nervous than anything else. He couldn’t deny it now. Time to be honest.
“Maybe you should invite her to do something with you,” she proposes with a knowing look. 
“I don't know if that would be a good idea,” Jack says earnestly. Maybe he had admitted the crush but that doesn't mean he was ready to do something about it. 
“Why’s that?”
“Because she probably doesn't want anything to do with this,” he gestures around himself vigorously, slightly worked up. “I’m a little fucked up, and scary, I guess… I’ve heard people say.” And old, he thinks to himself, too old for her at least.
“Did she tell you she wants nothing to do with you?”
“No.”
“Then you don't know that. You said you eat lunch together. If she chooses to spend her valuable break time with you she likely enjoys being around you.” His face is full of apprehension. “You’re allowed to let yourself have good things, Jack.”
“There’s this part of me that wants to believe that,” he admits quietly. He’s opened this door now and there’s no closing it. He can’t help being drawn to you anymore. “But there's also a louder part of me screaming run.” He leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees, head hanging and taking a deep sigh.
“Remember that the brain’s automatic response is not always logical. Sometimes the loudest voice is actually the most illogical. And if you listen to it, it can cause you to spiral.”
“I've been thinking about that one, doc. I’ve been trying. To stop the spiral.” That’s one of the biggest challenges for him. To not let flashes of dark moments spiral into a category five hurricane. To take back his agency over his thoughts.  
“Good. How is it going?” He blows out a long breath, leaning back into the chair and crossing his arms in front of his chest. “Not so great. For a long time, my automatic thoughts,” he puts up air quotes around the phrase, “My instincts, they saved my life. Saved other guys lives in the med tent. So it's kinda hard to rewrite that pathway.” A lot of the time, he couldn't help but feel like ordinary decisions still meant life or death. So much anxiety had built up inside him that it felt like if he chose the wrong thing at the grocery store a bomb would explode.
“You’re not at war anymore though, Jack. Letting yourself enjoy this woman’s presence in your life won’t get anyone killed.” 
“Yeah.” Again, he’s quiet, remembering. 
“Part of processing is not letting past trauma control the now. Remember, things can be different this time. You’re encountering a whole different set of challenges in the present that don’t always require the tools of the past.”
“My shrink, always so wise,” Jack jokes.
“I asked you not to call me that,” she scolds him.
“Sorry, got a lot I'm working on at the moment.”
This gets his therapist to crack a smile, glancing down at her watch. “Time to wrap up. Keep working at that– making the choice to challenge your automatic thoughts. What's important is that you try to recognize them as they pop up and inquire as to why you may think that it’s true. It takes time and repetition, but you’ll get there. You’re doing well, really.” 
“Thanks, doc.”
“And don't forget your homework. To do something out during the daytime. Not errands or the gym, but something you’ll have fun doing.”  Jack rolls his eyes. She must really think I'm a snooze fest, he thinks.
“I know you can have fun, Jack. You’re human, just like the rest of us.” Sometimes he felt like a cyborg forged for war that would never be wired for civilian life ever again. But that’s all he was now, a civilian. A doctor. Not a cyborg, just a man. Through the sludge of his past– all that he’s seen and felt– what he has to do now is figure out how to live again. Too many years have passed him by in a haze.
“Whatever you say doc.” He does a loose salute with his fingers as he gets up from his chair to exit her office. “See ya next week.”
“See you then,” she responds, scribbling down notes from the session as he steps out the door.
“Oh!” she yells after him. “And I’ll give you extra credit if the fun involves this woman from work.” 
Jack only scoffed in response, then blushed in the elevator all the way back down to the lobby.  
————
Driving from his therapist’s office to the pit, he brainstormed what he could do for his “daylight assignment”. Just the thought of it was setting him on edge. All of the people and noises and atrocities that happen while everyone is awake. He’d do whatever this is in the day time, sure. But firmly in the afternoon so that the comfort of night would come soon enough and greet him, he decided. 
He wants it at his own house too, in his own space, to help dull the anxiety inside him. That would have to mean inviting people over. At least it would be people he chooses to invite, another element he could control. Robby, Dana, Shen, Ellis— they knew Jack, didn't expect too much from him. 
Then there was you. You who had boundless empathy for any patient that walked in the door and extensive knowledge of any resources that could help them. He admired your commitment to the patients and their families, in supporting people outside of just their medical needs. And of course, you radiate beauty like a goddamn emergency department Snow White. 
Your presence simply made Jack feel at ease, and in a place like the Pitt that was a very welcome feeling. But as much as he craved it, Jack was not used to feeling at ease. Eventually, his mind would rebel and tell him to retreat; that the peace was too good to be true. He couldn’t let himself have this. It was too risky. He had to resist.
Automatic thought! He warned himself. Ugh. Jack was tired. Tired of having to be so vigilant even inside his own head. Tired of whatever devil was on his shoulder always whispering in his ear. No, not whispering. Yelling. His therapist was right, the thoughts were loud. What had she said? Inquire why you think these thoughts may be true, he recalls. 
Why does he think he has to resist? Because everything good he’s ever had falls apart. Usually he was the one who ripped it apart. Never on purpose, just through being who he was, who life and war had made him.
Things could be different this time, Jack reminds himself, drumming his thumbs over the steering wheel. He sighs deeply, groans.
As much as he was spooked by the revelation that he couldn't contain his desire for you so well anymore, he was also enflamed by it. He wanted an angel on his shoulder. He wanted you. 
The voice inside of him saying that wasn’t harshly yelling, there were no flashing lights or sirens. It was steady, calm, all encompassing. And pure warmth. Maybe that’s how he can tell it's the right voice to listen to. 
Fuck it. He decided. I’m gonna throw a party and she’s gonna be the goddamn guest of honor. 
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roosterforme · 3 months ago
Text
In the Navy Now | Bradley Bradshaw x Reader
Summary: When Bradley and Jake catch their wives in the midst of a lie, Bradley wonders what made you think you couldn't be honest with him. He soon realizes you have a trick up your sleeve, one that makes his work day a lot more exciting. 
Warnings: Fluff, smut, adult language, math as foreplay
Length: 3900 words
Pairing: Beer Boy and Sugar! Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader (former fuckboy college student Bradley)
This is a one-shot to accompany my fics Old Habits Die Hard and Right Girl, Wrong Time but it can be read on its own! Check out my masterlist. Banner by @thedroneranger
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"You know what really sucks?" Bradley mused as he sat at a table for two in the cafeteria on base.
"What's that?" Jake asked in response, digging his fork into a bowl of pasta.
Bradley looked around the room at everyone else and sighed. "You and I are forced to socialize all the time now, because our wives are best friends."
He saw Jake on Saturday, and also last night at the bar, and again every damn day at work.
Jake shrugged as he took a bite of his lunch. "It's not that bad."
"Speak for yourself. I literally can't understand what Jessica sees in you."
As soon as he heard Jake's laugh, Bradley knew what was coming. "You're literally the last person who should be making comments like that. Your wife is so hot, it's absolutely unbelievable she is with you willingly. She had ten years to come to her senses."
Bradley smiled as he thought about you. "She missed me."
Jake was shaking his head. "She must have been with some seriously ugly guys or something in those ten years."
Bradley was laughing now as he said, "I'm telling you, she missed me as much as I missed her."
"Riiiight. I'm about to text her and ask for verification on that one."
Bradley poked at his salad and murmured, "Don't even bother. She's in some sort of math seminar with Dean Walters all day. Told me not to try reaching her unless it's an emergency."
"Are you sure?" Jake asked, giving him a funny look. "Jess said she had a department meeting with the dean today. For the science department."
Bradley rolled his eyes. "Yeah, of course I'm sure. I even packed her an extra snack. Unlike you, I actually listen to my wife when she talks. I'm sure you're wrong."
But Jake was already digging in the pocket of his flight suit for his phone, and when he unlocked it and slid it across the table, Bradley picked it up. He skimmed a text that Jessica sent just a few hours ago.
I love you! Don't forget, I'll be unreachable most of the day. Physics meeting with Dean Walters. 
Bradley frowned. If this was true, then you lied to him. You never lied to him. He tried his best to let you know that you never had to do that. But now he remembered that you even went so far as to tell him you didn't need a ride home from campus today, and that actually seemed suspicious, too.
"Why do they want us to think they're busy all day?"
"It doesn't really make any sense," Jake said as he set his fork down. "Damn. Jess knows she can talk to me about anything."
"Yeah," Bradley grunted, "I don't like this shit." The uneasy feeling seemed to spread through his entire body as he stood. "We need to get going. Special class today, remember?"
"Fuck," Jake muttered under his breath, clearly as excited about the guest lecturer as Bradley was. Sitting in the classroom for a few hours was usually always tedious compared to flying, but the lectures that Cyclone had been adding to their schedules randomly over the past few months were worse than the most boring class Bradley ever took at the University of Virginia.
"Let's get this over with," he said, dropping his tray off and fighting the urge to text you just to see what you'd have to say. Now he was going to have to figure out a way to call you out about lying later. But it was still puzzling him as to why you and Jessica would both tell the same exact lie. What was the point of that? If you didn't want Bradley to bother you at work, that was all you needed to say. But it wasn't like he was annoying like Jake was; he could understand Jessica needing a break from her husband, but did you need one too?
He was still trying to figure out if there was something going wrong with his marriage when he walked into the classroom. Cyclone was standing at the front, hands on his hips, glaring at Bradley and Jake as they walked inside with two minutes to spare. The only seats left were both up in the front row, and Bradley groaned as he dropped down into one of them. The last guest speaker they had spit the entire time he talked, and the one before that spoke at full volume like she was teaching a room full of hundreds of people rather than the twenty four that were gathered.
"I regret not getting here early," Jake murmured, and Bradley nodded as he shifted in his seat and messed with the cuffs of the sleeves of his flight suit. He was really hung up on what you could possibly be doing today, and he knew that he wasn't going to be able to pay attention to this lecture topic at all. And that's when he noticed what was written on the white board behind Cyclone.
THE PHYSICS OF PROPULSION AND MATHEMATICAL FORMULATIONS IN SINGLE SEAT F/A-18 JETS
He groaned, because even the word mathematical made him think about you. This was about to be a long afternoon. Then Admiral Simpson cleared his throat, and Bradley forced his attention to the man in front of him.
"Welcome. Today's lecture topic is of the utmost importance regarding updates that will be made to your aircrafts this year. We will take a look at jet propulsion and the calculations specific to your F/A-18s before the new NATOPS is even released. We have two guest speakers who are professors from San Diego State University's math and physics departments, and they have graciously agreed to spend some time on this topic with us."
"No way," Bradley whispered, convinced it had to be you. He swiveled around in his seat so fast, he thought he might have broken it as he hung over the arm into the aisle when the classroom door opened. He could hear her high heels on the floor before he realized he was looking at Jessica enter the room, but then his heart skipped around in his chest just like the first time he saw you over ten years ago at his fraternity house. You looked fucking hot as sin, strolling in behind Jake's wife with a folder in your hand and a smirk on your red lips. Your eyes found his immediately as he sat there gaping at you while you made your way to the front of the room, but other than a little nod in his direction, you gave him nothing.
"Holy shit," Jake hissed next to him as Bradley nodded in agreement, his eyes glued on your body as he heard Cyclone introduce you and Dr. Jessica Reed by name. You gave the room at large a little wave, but your eyes flicked him, and Bradley let out the breath he had apparently been holding as he relaxed into his seat. So this must have been why you tried to make it seem like you were extremely busy today. Maybe you and Jessica didn't want him and Jake to catch on to the fact that you'd be presenting their class.
As Jessica started talking, he took in every inch of your appearance. You knew exactly what you were doing to him, and you were doing it very well. Bradley was proficient at calculus, having attended many of your college level math lectures. Sometimes he surprised you, but sometimes you knew ahead of time that he planned on being there. It didn't hurt that the lectures he attended usually ended with sex or a blowjob for him. Somehow math had turned into a form of foreplay for the two of you, and Bradley couldn't get enough. You'd praise him when he was able to solve a difficult problem, and the rewards were always sexy.
He was used to seeing you like this when he visited San Diego State University, but getting to witness your brilliance on the Naval base was already so exciting. Right now, he was already having a difficult time sitting still as he grew hard at the sound of your voice.
"The calculations related to your Super Hornets are so precise, we'll just take a look at a handful of examples to give you an idea of what we mean," you said, opening up your folder on the table as Bradley ran his sweaty palms on his flight suit. You were only a few feet away from him. He could smell your shampoo. He could count the little silver buttons on the side of your skirt. He had to bite his lip as you turned toward the white board and uncapped a marker as you said, "Please, let me know if I'm going too fast."
He could pick your writing out easily, but there was something about the way you always chose the letter B for your variables when he was watching. Your smooth penmanship started to fill the board as you talked your way through the problem, but Bradley could barely take his eyes off your ass. He turned around briefly to make sure nobody else had the same idea he did, but it was hard to tell. The younger guys looked a lot more enthusiastic than they usually did, and he might have to pound some sense into them later. Didn't they know you were his fucking wife?
But maybe they didn't. You kept your name the same when you got married. So did Jessica for that matter. Now Bradley sat a little taller in his seat as he realized he was married to one of the two extremely hot PhDs who all the other men in the room were drooling over.
"Does that make sense?" you asked, turning back to face them with a satisfied look on your face. "Dr. Reed can take over explaining the actual physics of the aircraft propulsion, and then I'll jump back in with the next calculation."
Bradley smiled at you while Jessica started talking again, and he could tell you were trying not to look at him as your lips curled into a grin. God, you were just fucking perfect. Smart and silly and sexy. And the two of you had so much history together, he could practically read the thoughts on your face.
"Did they dress like this on purpose?" Jake croaked softly.
"I know mine did," Bradley whispered. Your little tweed skirt and loafers screamed east coast academic.��It looked as good on you as his tie dye shirt always did. It was just as sexy as lingerie. It was almost pornographic to him at this point. But today you had them paired with a blazer and a bodysuit. A bodysuit. He loved those things with the little snaps that held them closed as they hugged your curves. He was almost certain you'd skipped a bra. He couldn't wait to find out for sure.
Jessica was still talking about jet propulsion. Bradley would ask you to explain it to him later if it was actually important. Right now, you were slowly buttoning and then unbuttoning your blazer over and over again while you alternated between consulting your notes and stealing glances at Bradley. He was too warm as he watched your fingers work, and your eyes caught his as he leaned forward in his seat.
"Hey, Sugar," he mouthed, and your gaze dropped back to your folder as you bit your lip and smiled. He was ready to go home. Take you to bed. Or maybe get a private lecture in your home office. Or maybe drive all the way to the college and visit one of the library study rooms. You made everything so exciting, he wanted all of it.
When Jessica handed the lecture back over to you, Bradley squirmed in his seat as you wrote another calculation on the board. Jake was really no better in the seat next to him, and he realized the two of them must look like idiots at the moment. But you were making a subtle math joke that he understood, and when you glanced over your shoulder, your engagement ring sparkled under the fluorescent light.
"Now this is how the updates will actually make your aircrafts more fuel efficient," you said as you easily worked through a calculation that looked so complicated, Isaac Newton wouldn't have been able to solve it. Bradley's cock was still half hard, and he wasn't exactly sure how he was going to be able to stand up after this. But then you really threw him for a loop when you casually added the equation from your tattoo into the middle of the mess of mathematics on the white board. Now the only thing he could think about was your tits. Or rather, him running his lips along your math titty tattoo.
Bradley wasn't going to be able to sit still for much longer, but you turned around and asked, "Does anyone have any questions?"
He had to sit there and listen to several of the other guys ask you the most idiotic questions just so they could have your attention. Then Bradley raised his hand and waited until you pointed at him and said, "Lieutenant Bradshaw?" with an amused look on your face. "You have a question?"
"Yeah," he said, voice raspy. "I do, professor. If the variable B is directly related to propulsion, then how is that going to affect my thrust?"
He kept a straight face while you fought to do the same. You cleared your throat, took a step in his direction, and said, "You're going to need to have some additional thrust, Lieutenant."
Bradley nodded and gave you a thoughtful look. "Hmmm, that's what I thought. And it looks like a very complicated calculation."
You stood there in front of everyone in your little tweed skirt and the diamond ring he gave you and said, "If you'd like a more thorough explanation, I wouldn't mind spending a few minutes with you afterwards, Lieutenant."
As he leaned back in his seat, he told you, "I look forward to it."
So Bradley listened to Jessica while you occasionally interjected, and he kept his eyes on your face as his excitement started to build even more. When the afternoon lecture was finally over, he and Jake both stayed in their seats while Cyclone shook hands with the two of you.
"How long do you think they've been planning this?" Jake whispered, his voice hoarse.
"Not sure," Bradley replied as you collected your notes into your folder. "But I intend to find out." He was impressed as hell that you managed to pull this off without him noticing, but his skin was tingling with need. He desperately wanted to get his hands on you after you worked him up with all of the intellectual teasing. 
As soon as Cyclone dismissed everyone, Jake was on his feet, dragging Jessica out of the classroom, but Bradley didn't move an inch in his seat. His cock was hard, and you were running your hand along your tweed covered hip as you smiled at him. But then he had to endure one of the younger aviators who was new to Top Gun trying to chat you up when he should have just left the classroom with the others. When you turned to face him instead, annoyance washed through Bradley's veins.
"Uh, hi, uh I actually studied mathematics at the Naval Academy, and I graduated three years ago, and uh, I was just wondering if you would want to get a drink with me sometime and talk more about, um, some of the topics you covered about propulsion and thrust-"
"Fuck off, man," Bradley barked. "She's wearing goddamn wedding rings. And she's not interested."
Your hand slipped over your lips as you laughed silently while the younger man looked at Bradley in shock. "Oh. Right. Okay," he muttered before hightailing it from the now nearly empty classroom.
"That wasn't very nice," you said, fighting against a smile. "He seemed really sweet. I was going to let him shoot his shot."
Bradley stood with a soft groan, his erection pressing against the zipper of his flight suit. "I was promised a private tutorial session, Dr. Sugar. I'm not about to let a twenty-something year old take up any of my time."
Without hesitation, you walked over to him and started to slowly unzip his flight suit. "Hate to break it to you, Beer Boy, but you were a twenty-something year old when I fell in love with you." 
You ran your fingers along his undershirt, and Bradley glanced at the open classroom door as he whispered, "I hope you know you're not leaving this room until you're full of my cum."
"Lieutenant Bradshaw!" you gasped, eyes wide and surprised. But your hand was dipping lower to his abs, and he could tell you were as turned on as he was. "This is a tutoring session!"
Bradley wrapped his hand around your wrist and gently led you toward the door which he immediately closed. "I want to know how the hell you managed to pull this off. I had no idea you and Jessica were going to be teaching a class for the Navy."
"We've been working on our lesson plan for weeks," you said with a smirk as Bradley placed both of your palms on the door and flipped the light switch off. In the dimly lit room, you whispered, "We wanted it to be a surprise."
Bradley stood behind you, facing the door and kissed your neck above your unbuttoned blazer. "And here I thought you lied to me about your plans because you needed a break from me."
You moaned softly as his nose traced the shell of your ear. "Oh, please. It's not like you're annoying like Jake. I don't need a break from you, Beer Boy."
"Hmm, then what do you need from me?" he asked softly, letting one hand slide up your bodysuit while he confirmed that you were not wearing a bra. Your nipples were tight peaks as he stroked them through the fabric with one big hand, and you bumped your ass back against his erection.
"I need you to tell me what you know about thrust, Lieutenant," you stated in your teacher voice which made him grind against you.
"I know you like it when I give you a little thrust," he grunted, guiding your tweed skirt up your thighs as you gasped.
"Is this a good idea?" you asked, still pressing your body back against his. "Should we wait until we get home?"
"Can't," he growled, yanking your skirt up over your ass and wrapping his hands around your hips as he looked down at the perfect view. "You got me too worked up. You know what your lectures do to me. And this time it was on my home turf."
Your hands were still planted on the door as you glanced at him over your shoulder. "Almost like I'm in the Navy now. Lieutenant Sugar? Should I get a uniform?"
"Oh, fuck. You know I couldn't handle that. Besides, I'm really partial to your tweed." He was running his knuckles down your rear end as he whispered, "Please, let me fuck you. I'll be quick, Baby."
His fingers were already at the snaps on your bodysuit that hid your pussy from his touch when you said, "Do it."
With a flick of his wrist, the snaps sprung free, and he ran his finger along your slit. Your back arched as he carefully pulled his cock free from his unzipped flight suit and underwear, and then he was guiding you to your tiptoes as he slipped himself inside you.
Bradley wrapped one hand around your waist and braced the door closed with the other as he buried himself deep inside you. Your soft gasp sounded beautiful as he sucked on your neck and gave you a few deep strokes. When he started to go faster, your fingers curled against the door as you whined his name, and he asked, "How's my thrust?"
Your head tipped back against his shoulder as you whispered, "You're just about there. Maybe a little harder."
Always wanting to be your top student, he did exactly as you told him and picked up the pace, letting himself slam against your ass. Your tight pussy felt so fucking good, and normally he'd draw this out as long as possible, but not today. He let your grip on him take over all of his senses, and soon he was grunting next to your ear, lips parted as he fucked you up against the door in a classroom at Top Gun.
"This is filthy as hell," he muttered, jerking his hips in an uneven rhythm. "Fucking my perfect wife on base. During work hours." 
"Beer Boy," you gasped when he slammed deep and held himself there. He did it again, loving the sound of his body meeting yours so intimately. A third time, and the pull along his spine as you moaned was too much. You had complete control over him.
Bradley gave it to you hard until he was panting. He let himself come as you turned and looked back at him, licking those sinful lips. "Jesus, fuck, holy shit," he groaned before kissing your lips softly as he gave you a few more thrusts before pulling himself free.
He was still a little hard as he tucked himself back into his flight suit and zipped it up again. When he went to fix your bodysuit, he ended up with his fingers coated in your arousal mixed with his cum as he did the snaps once again.
"Good as new," he murmured as you tugged your skirt down and turned to face him. He kissed you again before he said, "We should get out of here."
You nodded and collected your folder before pulling the door open and strolling casually out into the hallway like you didn't have his sticky cum rubbing against your inner thighs. "Now that you're all squared away with your thrust variable," you told him as he licked his fingers clean, enjoying the way the two of you tasted together, "you'll be even faster, Lieutenant."
Bradley snickered as you and he rounded the corner. "I hope you mean in the air. Quickies aren't really my thing, unless we're in a library study room or apparently an empty Naval classroom."
"There you are, professor." Cyclone was trying to flag you down, and Bradley watched you stumble as you headed off in his direction. He wasn't even sure if Admiral Simpson knew you and he were married, but the other man looked overjoyed as he said, "I've already been getting wonderful feedback about you and Dr. Reed, and I'm hoping you'll both agree to come back next month for another lecture on a different topic."
Bradley groaned and just kept walking. He would wait for you in the parking lot where he'd have a moment to himself to collect his thoughts. More sexy tweed and his hot wife in the classroom? Another lecture topic? Hours of mathematical foreplay that nobody else seemed to pick up on? Quickies were about to become his thing.
------------------------------
I missed Beer Boy and Sugar SO MUCH! She's such a queen, she literally just has to exist to make him lose his mind. But she knows what she did here. She knows. Thanks for reading!
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divinedelusional · 5 months ago
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how rafe would treat his gf on her period
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rafe cameron x fem reader
word count: 796
warnings: menstruation, mentions of toxic relationship and period sex
a/n: yeah this is how rafe treats his girl on her period but also how he would be like in a relationship throughout the seasons? i got carried away, sorry not sorry
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s1 rafe: sooo i feel like fratboy!rafe genuinely doesn't give a fuck, i don't even know if he would be capable of being in a relationship. i see him being involved with a girl but only for sex and he would only know she's on her period bc she would just text him that they can't meet today bc of it and he'd be like "uh huh cool" and would go jerk off
s2 rafe: here i think situation would be slightly different. i think our psycho bby could acc develop feelings for a girl, it would mostly be just sex but he could start falling for someone. so i think he'd fight a battle in his mind if he should come over to the girl's house and be there for her on her period or to completely neglect her. it's just he doesn't have a clue what to do and tbh he's occupied with other shit, he uses sex with her to forget. i think it's very similar to s1 rafe but with guilt and feelings creeping in (and obvious denial for this emotions)
s3 rafe: so okay we all know the shift from curtain bangs psycho rafey to buzz cut man of the house rafe who looked like he's getting his shit together. of course that means he's different when it comes to relationships. he still deals with a lot, but he finds you. and he kinda sees you as this light. a small light who he has to be very careful with so it won't go out. he is attentive to you. treats you right, but with some sort of distance and you don't blame him. he doesn't spend every day with you, he didn't even ask you to be his girlfriend yet, didn't make it official but he will and somehow you know it. when you're on your period you become quiet. you don't text him, but he finds out as he had a feeling that he should drop by your house. he finds you on your couch with a heating bag and cookies. you told him you weren't feeling well and he ordered you hot soup and made a quick run to pharmacy for some medicine. he still was clueless and thought you caught a cold. "rafe im not sick im just on my period" "oh" it's not like he avoids you, no. he visits you everday for the next four days but doesn't stay for long, always excusing himself with some meeting or business. you know he means the best for you but wish that he's going to be able to let you in soon. you're really patient with him, but start having doubts.
s4 rafe: is now fully committed to you. you talked to him how you really felt about this relationship. that you really cared and wanted to give him as much time as he needed, but also you couldn't waste it anymore waiting for him. and rafe realized that nobody else would have such patience for him. he was thinking about you a lot and he admitted to himself that you were the one. he made your relationship official and two months later you were living together. he was spoiling you, really. taking you on dates, buying you gifts and most importantly giving you his time. getting to know you, observing your daily habits, remembering stuff you said. your likes and dislikes. no wonder he became pussy whipped. and started to feel like he knows you better than yourself.
that's why when it's that time of the month you don't have to say anything. rafe knows. just by the way you whine when you wake up, he knows if you'd be able to get out of bed and get on with your day or you'd want to stay in bed cuddling, because he's your personal heater, makes back pain go away. gives you massages. cuddles with you all morning untill your stomach start to signal that it's time for some food. oh and he doesn't care about his schedule. he could clear it off, cancel the meetings, but he doesn't bother. his girl is the most important, his business associates don't even deserve a phone call on a day his girl is in pain. also he's not opposed to period sex at. all. orgasm is a great way to reduce cramps, so if that works for you and you want him to help you, he is the happiest to do so. if you're not comfortable with having sex these days he totally understands. wouldn't even thought of forcing you to do something, on your period or not. when he discovered that he has so much love in him, his only interest is to give it to you♡
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dividers by: @bernardsbendystraws
tagging: @sugaraanddiesel @cherrylipglossss hope they'll enjoy it and @cameronsprincess bc maybe it will put a smile on her face♡
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fel-09 · 3 months ago
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You are his problem
Tommy Shelby x reader
Author's notes: Caring Thomas Shelby This is my own separate Roman empire
Plot : You are his problem, one continuous headache, an irresponsible woman whom he loves madly.
Words :1.3к
The night in Birmingham covers the streets with a thick, lingering gloom, and only the light in Thomas Shelby's house is on. Dim, amber, staining the old wallpaper, it barely breaks the twilight in his room. His desk is littered with papers: contracts, invoices, unresolved issues, each line weighing on him more than the bronze storm lantern next to it.
And on his bed, stretched out in lazy tenderness like a cat, lies she.
Her light breathing almost merges with the rustle of paper, her arms spread out in carelessness, and on her face an expression of serenity he can never reach. The perpetual chaos she carries with her is strangely peaceful to him.
Her clothes are lying somewhere in the corner of the room, and if anyone had said she had even a shadow of neatness, he would have only laughed. Stockings-one on the back of a chair, the other must have gotten lost in the folds of a blanket. The garter, the one he'd fastened on her pale skin himself, was gone without a trace, as was the earring she'd bemoaned last week.
She doesn't care about order, doesn't bother with things, hardly remembers where she puts them. He's used to picking up her brooches off the floor, picking up forgotten gloves from the dresser, and searching for her hairbrush, which invariably gets lost between the pillows. He's used to the fact that every morning begins with her searching for missing items and ends with her wearing the first thing that comes to hand anyway.
Thomas runs his hand over his face tiredly, bringing himself back to reality. Long fingers transfer the ink stain from the paper to his temple, but he doesn't care. He needs to finish his work so he can drift off to sleep as easily as she does - as if she doesn't have to think about anything, as if this world requires nothing more than the lazy movement of her hand to once again take possession of everything she desires.
He looks at her and feels a slight weariness, but there is a strange, quiet pleasure in that weariness. He shouldn't be babysitting, shouldn't be taking care of a man who can't even find his own stockings. But apparently that's what he had become.
She rarely did anything on her own. Not because she was lazy (though she was lazy too), but because whenever she did, it turned out to be a disaster. Inept was the word that best described her. If she tried to fix something, the result was always something completely different, most often for the worse.
She could sleep half the day, forgetting all her chores, she could lose her things without leaving one room, or she could try to help, and in doing so she could drive the situation to the point of absurdity.
Like that morning when she had suddenly thought of helping Thomas tie his tie.
He was standing in front of the mirror, frowning at his shirt and the carelessly thrown on piece of cloth. She stretched lazily, yawned, and, seeing his hesitation, suddenly suggested:
- Let me do it.
He only raised an eyebrow, but apparently he was too tired to argue.
So the tie was in her hands.
She took hold of the knot confidently, trying to pull it tight, the way respectable people do. The problem was, she'd never had a talent for this sort of thing. With each new movement, the fabric twisted into something unimaginable, and the harder she tried, the worse the result became.
By the time Thomas suddenly began coughing, she realized she was literally choking him.
His hands immediately flew to her neck, trying to loosen the deadly noose she had so diligently tied.
- God, I'm sorry! - she released the tie so sharply that it tightened even more, and now Thomas was looking at her as if deciding whether to let her live.
He loosened the noose abruptly, took a deep breath, and turned around slowly, very slowly.
- Don't move," he said, burning her with his gaze.
She did the only thing she could do in a situation like this - she put her hands up, feigning complete innocence.
- I'm sorry. I just wanted to help.
He looked at her, then shifted his gaze to his tie, which now looked like it had been used in a fight, and back at her again.
- Did you really want to help or were you trying to kill me?
She laughed nervously.
- If I wanted to kill you, I would have found a more subtle way.
He rubbed his temples and seemed to mutter something quietly to himself.
She concluded that helping was not her forte. Better to lie on the bed, entertain herself with harmless thoughts, and let Thomas deal with things on his own.
At least it was safer for his life.
And for some reason it doesn't annoy him at all.
Thomas had never said it out loud, but he seemed to have accepted that he wasn't just her lover-he was her guardian, her nurse, her controller, the only person who could keep her safe from herself.
She couldn't even take care of her own clothes.
Once he had left her alone for five minutes, and that had been enough for her stockings to disappear into the abyss of the room and her corset to somehow end up tightened on the wrong side. No one could explain how it happened, but the fact remained that if left unattended she inevitably turned herself into a mess.
So he dressed her himself.
At first he just helped - adjusting the straps, pulling up the stockings, buttoning the buttons. But then he realized that if he wanted to leave the house in the next hour, he'd have to take
he'd have to take matters into his own hands.
She sat on the bed, yawning and stretching as he carefully arranged her underwear in front of her as if he were dressing a porcelain doll.
- Lift your leg," he said briefly.
She lazily complied, and he confidently pulled the thin silk stocking over her.
- The other.
She smirked, but complied.
When he was done with it, she ran her finger along the edge of the lace.
- You tie them better than I do.
- Because I don't turn simple things into disasters.
She grinned wider.
- 'You don't trust me too much.
He looked at her, assessing her disheveled hair, the pillow mark on her cheek, and the chaos around her. His gaze dropped to her hands, which were carelessly going through the folds of her skirt.
- And have you given me any reason to trust you on this?
She shrugged her shoulders.
- Probably not. But it's still nice to have you take care of me.
He silently pulled his shirt over her and buttoned it, not even bothering to comment. He was used to it.
Used to the fact that she could go through the day without realizing she'd put her dress on backwards. Used to the fact that every morning started with him looking for clothes for her while she sat lazily on the bed, legs dangling.
And he knew he'd keep doing it.
Because she couldn't survive otherwise.
You couldn't say he was looking for trouble. They found him on their own, as if there was an invisible sign on his shoulders: "You get in trouble, you don't get out."
But then, that day, on the narrow street with the smell of fresh baked goods, he hadn't realized he was in trouble yet.
That day she accidentally forgot her wallet, and he, out of the kindness of his heart, without understanding why, bought a bun for the stranger.
Thomas hadn't realized what a mistake he'd made. He hadn't realized that the girl's parents would just as easily sell her to him, and she would be like an ownerless cat, cautious at first, and then just stay.
And he wouldn't be able to kick her out, of course.
Thomas wasn't sorry. Wasn't angry. Wasn't really angry.
To be honest, he encouraged her behavior himself.
Sure, he scolded her, spoke sternly, arched his eyebrows and gritted his teeth that she'd managed to lose her hairpin again, knocked over the inkwell again, stepped on her hemline again, and nearly tumbled down the stairs.
But as soon as he left the room, he froze outside the door.
And listened.
How she grumbled to herself, how she mocked him, how she tried (unsuccessfully, of course) to cope with another disaster on her own.
Sometimes he peeked out.
Standing in the doorway, watching her try to button the buttons of her dress and then give up and sit on the bed, frowning frustratedly. How she climbed under the bed for her lost earring but got stuck there, and only her muffled exclamation told him that the operation had failed.
And at times like this, he found it hard to hold back a smile.
But as soon as she turned around, his face became stern again, his voice steady, his steps confident.
- Why did you go under the bed? - he asked calmly.
- I lost my earring.
He nodded, walked over, bent down, and after a few seconds pulled out her find.
She looked up at him with slight indignation.
- You mean you found her right away?!
- I did.
She rolled her eyes and looked away, and he smiled imperceptibly again as he walked away.
She was a disaster. But somehow a disaster for him.
He loves her.
Not just loves her - madly, desperately, to the very edge where love becomes obsession.
He loves dressing her. Smoothing the hem of her dress, buttoning the tiny buttons, pulling her stockings over her soft skin. He loves tying ribbons in her hair because he knows that if she tries to do it herself, the knot will be so tight that the devil himself can't untie it.
She's his problem.
A cheeky, cunning, lazy cat who always loses her things, stumbles over things, and can't tie his tie without trying to strangle him. The cat he scolds and then eavesdrops outside the door, listening to her mumble something to herself.
And when her parents came back to get her...
He didn't even let them finish their sentence.
No.
They'd left her when she'd been a helpless girl at the doughnut counter. They abandoned her like she was worthless. And now that she was his, now that he was used to buttoning her dress, stroking her hair, sorting out her morning mishaps with her and watching her throw her stuff all over the house, they decided to remember they had a daughter?
Too late.
- She's staying.
A simple phrase, said without too much emotion.
She lives with him now. She is now his concern. His disaster. His curse.
And damn it, he loves her
her like he's never loved anyone before.
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angrythingstarlight · 9 months ago
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I just read your drabble about mafia!bucky giving flowers to his girls😭 Bee definitely has a skewed perception of how long flowers last because Bucky keeps replacing the old ones before she sees a single wilting petal😭
It's going to be years before she figures out that a bouquet doesn't last for months on end. Years. It's the Santa debacle all over again.
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Pairing: Mafia!Bucky x Reader, daughter nicknamed Bumblebee.
Bee is out at a restaurant with her friends and she makes a casual remark about the flowers on the table. A few petals are beginning to brown and curl. It’s fascinating because she's never seen that happen before.
"How long do you think flowers are supposed to live?"
Bee picks up on teasing, incredulous tone and she narrows her eyes. "Three months," she says slowly.
Silence.
"Girl—"
Bee holds up her hand. "The ones my Papa gets me and mama last that long. Maybe you're getting them from the wrong places." She can admit she's being defensive because she has an inkling that she may be wrong.
More silence. Her friends look at each other and then her. Yeah.
Just an inkling.
She sighs. Pulls out her phone. One quick Google search later and she's slumping in her chair, hand over her face as she laughs. "Oh come on. How was I supposed to know that? Wait give me a second, I need to ask my mama about this."
She calls you, putting you on speaker, all the girls greet you when you answer. "Mama how long are flowers supposed to last?"
Silence. Then a drawn out well.
"Mama." Her cadences playfully mirrors yours.
"Alright so technically a few weeks max but don't tell your papa that you know because he has a whole system in place to replace them before they start to die. Bee, you know he still hasn't recovered from the Santa thing. Let him have this."
Bee laughs again, her heart warming as shs thinks about the effort and time her papa spends on the little things to keep the two of you happy. She feels lucky to have both of you and she's not going to take that for granted. "I know, I remember. Don't worry I'm not going to say anything."
After you hang up, Sienna grins, propping her chin on her hand. "I'm so jealous. My dad would forget my birthday if his assistant didn't remind him. I would love three month flowers. Can he adopt me? You want another sister?"
"Nope, I'm not sharing him but I'll pay for lunch." Bee smiles, her gaze dropping to her screen and she sends off an I love you text to her Papa.
He responds immediately. Like he always does. And it makes her day that much better.
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milkmemes · 2 months ago
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ANGST LEVELS
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Below are a series of sentence starters and actions that vary in levels of angst. Level one being the least angsty, all the way to level five being the most. (TW: Abuse, Violence, Blood)
Level One Sentence Starters ❛ I'm just disappointed. ❜ ❛I'm scared. ❜ ❛Please just trust me. ❜ ❛Why don't you trust me? ❜ ❛What do you mean by that? ❜ ❛...But you never had a problem with it before. ❜ ❛I shouldn't be here. ❜ ❛You shouldn't be here. ❜ ❛Why are you so stubborn? ❜ ❛Just look at me. ❜ ❛How long does this have to go on for? ❜ ❛I can't sleep. ❜ ❛I hate seeing you like this ❜ ❛Just hang on, okay? ❜ ❛It's okay to cry ❜ ❛I wanted to apologize. ❜ ❛Not everyone is going to hurt you. ❜ ❛Please don't misunderstand. ❜ ❛Have you been crying? ❜ ❛Tears? Seriously? ❜ ❛You're crying? How pathetic are you? ❜ ❛It's okay. Go ahead and cry, I'm right here. ❜ ❛You didn't have to be so rude about it ... ❜ ❛Stay away from me! ❜ ❛Why would you go back to her? ❜ ❛Why would you go back to him? ❜ ❛Why would you go back to them? ❜ ❛ Are you even listening to me?❜ ❛Stop acting like it's not a big deal, you're bleeding! ❜ ❛You never take me seriously! ❜ ❛I don't like you because you always do shit like this! ❜ ❛I'm just trying to help you! ❜ ❛Let me clean your wounds ... ❜ ❛It's late, why are you calling?❜ ❛How many times have I told you not to go there?❜ ❛Are you sure you're okay? ❜ ❛Liar! ❜ ❛ You think you know me? You don’t know anything. ❜ ❛ Why didn’t you fight for me? Why didn’t you fight for us? ❜ ❛ You were always the golden child. But you know what? I was the one who needed you. ❜ ❛ You never saw me. Not really. ❜
Level One Actions [APOLOGIZE] - Sender apologizes to receiver before passing out. [STAGGER] - Sender starts to stagger while they walk with receiver and eventually starts to fall. [SHIVER] - Receiver notices Sender won't stop shivering, even though it isn't cold outside. [OUCH] - Receiver notices Sender subtly wince whenever they accidentally touch them somewhere. [PANIC] - Receiver begins to have a severe panic attack. [FEVER] - Sender is visibly feverish, sweating buckets and still denying to Receiver that they are sick and need to rest. [WAITING] – Receiver waits all night for Sender to show. They never do. [NUMBERS] – Receiver notices Sender has been crossing out calendar dates with shaky hands—and something big is circled. [GOODBYE KISS] – Sender kisses Receiver like it’s the last time. Receiver doesn’t realize it is. [STUMBLE] – Sender keeps messing up small things—dropping keys, forgetting names—and it’s starting to scare Receiver. [WORN] – Receiver still wears the hoodie Sender left behind. They pretend it doesn’t mean anything. [ALMOST KISS] – They get so close to kissing—but flinch back, remembering who they’re supposed to be. [ONE LAST TIME] – Sender kisses Receiver mid-fight and says, “Just this once. Then we go back to being enemies.”
Level Two Sentence Starters
❛Were you planning that the whole time? ❜ ❛No, you listen to me. ❜ ❛You think this is easy for me? ❜ ❛Haven't you done enough already? ❜ ❛Truth hurts, doesn't it? ❜ ❛Please don't do this. ❜ ❛I know you're scared. ❜ ❛You deserve more. ❜ ❛I swear I'll do things different this time. ❜ ❛I'm ... I'm trying, I really am. ❜ ❛I said I'm not jealous. ❜ ❛I see the way you look at him. ❜ ❛I see the way you look at her. ❜ ❛I see the way you look at them. ❜ ❛I don't know what you're talking about. ❜ ❛You're overreacting. ❜ ❛You're making a big deal out of nothing. ❜ ❛What the hell was that about?! ❜ ❛What the hell is your problem?! ❜ ❛No way you're actually jealous. ❜ ❛All you do is whine. ❜ ❛I can't do this anymore. Not with you. ❜ ❛Have you been drinking? You look awful. ❜ ❛Where did all those bruises come from? ❜ ❛[Name], they don't care about you! ❜ ❛[Name], he doesn't care about you! ❜ ❛[Name], she doesn't care about you! ❜ ❛I'd rather it be you. ❜ ❛You didn't miss me at all? ❜ ❛All these years and you decided to break my heart now? ❜ ❛Please just stay with me, just for a moment. ❜ ❛Just admit that you're wrong! ❜ ❛Don't compare yourself to me! ❜ ❛That kiss ... did you really mean it? ❜ ❛I can't ever trust you again. ❜ ❛Say you never loved me. Say it! ❜ ❛Did this mean nothing to you? ...Did I mean nothing to you? ❜ ❛Please tell me that at least a part of this was real to you. ❜ ❛I should've listened when people warned me about you. ❜ ❛I know what you did. ❜ ❛Don't. Move. ❜ ❛When I let go, run for your life. ❜ ❛ You’re not even my sibling anymore. ❜ ❛ You’re not even my sister anymore. ❜ ❛ You’re not even my brother anymore. ❜ ❛ I’m not the one who left first. You did. ❜ ❛ I never asked you to be perfect. I just wanted you to show up. ❜ ❛ It’s too late for apologies now. You left me to deal with everything on my own. ❜ ❛ I don’t care if you’re my sibling—you hurt me. ❜ ❛ I don’t care if you’re my sister—you hurt me. ❜ ❛ I don’t care if you’re my brother—you hurt me. ❜ ❛ You can’t just break my heart and expect me to keep forgiving you. ❜ ❛ Maybe I should’ve let you go the first time you hurt me. ❜ ❛ I kept waiting for you to come back, but you never did. And now I can’t wait anymore. ❜ ❛ You were never there when I needed you. Why should I be there for you now? ❜ ❛ I never wanted to hate you… but you made it impossible not to. ❜
Level Two Actions [BETRAYAL] - Receiver learns about Sender's betrayal and confronts them with it. [SLEEP] - Receiver is traumatized by the idea of sleeping with the lights off but won't be honest about this to Sender. [ARGUE] - Sender and Receiver get into a heated argument about something. [BREAKDOWN] - Receiver has a mental breakdown in front of Sender. [FORGOT] - Sender forgot Receiver's name/everything about Receiver. [ABANDON] - Receiver abandons Sender. [REPLACE] – Receiver starts seeing someone new. Sender smiles and says they're happy for them. [FUMBLE] – Receiver goes to hold Sender’s hand, but Sender pulls away like it’s instinct. [MISFIRE] – Sender says “I love you” mid-conversation, but Receiver thinks they’re joking—and laughs. [EAVESDROP] – Sender overhears something they were never meant to hear—and it changes everything.
Level Three Sentence Starters
❛ I never asked for this. You pushed me into it, and now it’s too late. ❜ ❛I never meant to fall in love with you, I just did. ❜ ❛I know you still love me. ❜ ❛You know I'm not like that. ❜ ❛Don't give me space, that's the last thing I want with you. ❜ ❛I can't think straight with you. ❜ ❛Do you ever mean the things you say? ❜ ❛I hope she makes you happy. ❜ ❛I hope he makes you happy. ❜ ❛I hope they make you happy. ❜ ❛Don't do this here. ❜ ❛Is he really just a friend? ❜ ❛Is she really just a friend? ❜ ❛Are they really just a friend? ❜ ❛You can't hide forever! ❜ ❛I just want you to care about me... ❜ ❛Fuck off already! ❜ ❛You made me feel weak ❜ ❛I didn't mean to love you so much. ❜ ❛I wish I was sorry. ❜ ❛I wish I loved you. ❜ ❛You were the only person I thought I could trust. ❜ ❛You promised you wouldn't forget me. ❜ ❛You don't remember me? ❜ ❛If I see you again, I'll kill you. ❜ ❛You couldn't tell I was in love with you because you were too busy loving someone else. ❜ ❛You did such a great job convincing other people that you loved me that I almost fell for it. ❜ ❛ It was never going to be me, was it? ❜ ❛ I'm not angry. I'm just tired of hoping you’ll change. ❜ ❛ You never cared about me—just about winning. ❜ ❛ I’m not your second choice. I’m not your backup plan. ❜ ❛ I should’ve known you’d leave, just like everyone else. ❜ ❛ Do you even care about me anymore? Or was I just your second choice? ❜ ❛ You were supposed to protect me, not be the one I needed protection from. ❜ ❛ You always made me feel like I was in your shadow. Now you’ve disappeared into it, and I’m still here. ❜ ❛ Maybe I should’ve been a better sibling. But you should’ve been a better person. ❜ ❛ Maybe I should’ve been a better sister. But you should’ve been a better person. ❜ ❛ Maybe I should’ve been a better brother. But you should’ve been a better person. ❜
Level Three Actions [RETURNED] - Receiver hasn't seen Sender in months/years since they mysteriously disappeared and now they're suddenly at Receiver's doorstep, but they already recognize Sender. [INTRUDER] - Receiver realizes they aren't alone in their home when Sender accidentally reveals themselves. [BLOOD] - Sender comes home covered in blood and Receiver confronts them about it. [SLEEP TALK] - Sender talks in their sleep and Receiver usually doesn't mind but tonight they say something unsettling that Receiver can't let go. [DISMISS] – Sender tries to open up, but Receiver laughs, thinking it's a joke—and Sender shuts down completely. [DEADLINE] – Sender and Receiver make future plans—but Sender knows they won’t be around for them. [MISMATCHED] – They both say “I love you”—but one of them doesn’t mean it.
Level Four Sentence Starters
❛ You never once asked how I felt—only how I made you look. ❜ ❛ I never asked for you. ❜ ❛ You ruined my life the moment you came into it. ❜ ❛ Why do you always make me feel like I’m not enough? ❜ ❛ All I wanted was your love, but it feels like I’ll never be good enough for you. ❜ ❛ I’ve spent my whole life trying to earn your approval. I’m done. ❜ ❛ I wish I had never been born if it meant I’d never have to live up to your expectations.❜ ❛ You never loved me. You just wanted someone to control. ❜ ❛ I don’t care what you think of me anymore. You’ve already destroyed my worth. ❜ ❛You're the one that made this ugly. ❜ ❛Put the bat down! ❜ ❛Put the gun down! ❜ ❛No one will ever want you. ❜ ❛You'd be lucky to have a scar from me. ❜ ❛Nobody's coming to save you, give up. ❜ ❛I never loved you. ❜ ❛You're such a fucking burden. ❜ ❛God, you can't possibly be any worse. ❜ ❛Don't move, you're bleeding! ❜ ❛Are you bleeding?! ❜ ❛Don't apologize if you're just gonna keep doing this shit! ❜ ❛I know you don't really care about me, so thank you for trying to pretend that you do.❜ ❛Don't you dare die on me! ❜ ❛I can't lose you ... I can't lose you. ❜ ❛Don't close your eyes! ❜ ❛Please ... I don't want to lose you again ❜ ❛I'd much rather die by your side ... ❜ ❛Don't look at me like that ... a smile better suits you. Let me die seeing you smile. ❜ ❛If your smile is the last thing I see, I'll die happy. ❜ ❛I wish you were dead. ❜ ❛I wish you would fucking die already! ❜ ❛Was I a good friend ...? ❜ ❛Was I a good boyfriend ...? ❜ ❛Was I a good girlfriend ...? ❜ ❛Was I a good partner ...? ❜ ❛Am I finally a hero ...? ❜ ❛ Was I a good sister? Did I do everything right? ❜ ❛ Was I a good brother? Did I do everything right? ❜ ❛ Was I a good partner? Did I do everything right? ❜ ❛ You should’ve let me die back there. ❜ ❛ You only love me when it’s convenient. ❜ ❛ Please don’t make me choose between you and myself. ❜ ❛ I hate that I still want you. After everything you’ve done, I still want you. ❜ ❛ Why couldn’t you just love me the way I loved you? ❜ ❛ You don’t get to act like you’re the victim. Not after everything you’ve done. ❜
Level Four Actions [PROPOSAL] - Sender is about to propose when Receiver reveals they're already engaged. [SACRIFICE] - Sender sacrifices themselves for Receiver. [CURSE] - Every time Sender confesses their love to Receiver, Receiver instantly forgets everything about them. [POISON] - Sender poisons Receiver. [MISTAKE] – Receiver calls Sender by the wrong name during an intimate moment, and the entire atmosphere shifts. [ACCIDENT] – Receiver finds Sender lying unconscious, blood pooling, phone still unlocked with an unsent message: “I’m sorry.” [REGRET] – Receiver finds a letter they were never supposed to see. “I hated you because I couldn’t stop loving you.”
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silveeja · 8 months ago
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ミ☆ Astro Notes!
some basic astrology notes based on personal experience and opinions
i'm not a professional astrologer, this is just for fun~
let me know if you guys think differently/have different experiences, or if you relate to any of these, i'm curious to know what everyone else thinks! :3
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random natal observations;
✩ scorpio risings do have an intense, penetrating gaze, but i noticed it's not just risings but ANY scorpio placement has it. i know someone who's chart is mainly air, but their venus is in scorpio and whewww those intense EYES!! (also the amount of scorpio placements i've seen say they're too shy for eye contact??? ya'll don't know the power that you hold! use it! hehe)
✩ speaking of scorpio placements, i would never want to fight with a scorpio mercury, those people will break you with their words if pushed far enough. their words will cut you deep, they know exactly what to say to hurt someone.
✩ pls stop saying aquarians (especially moons) are emotionless and don't care about anything. they can be like this if they choose to, that's their superpower, they can detach themselves from people and situations and emotions at will, but it doesn't mean they're emotionless or like robots, if anything their emotions run too deep sometimes and it all gets overwhelming, to the point where they need to take a step back. once you're close to an aquarian though, they'll open up, trust.
✩ also once an aquarius is done, they're done. they give many chances and are generous, but once they decide to leave, a switch happens and the warm, friendly person is gone. it's true that they are masters at ghosting and detaching, but if they do so, it's always for a reason.
✩ something i've noticed with leo moons (especially if they have scorpio sun or other scorpio placements) is they tend to be a bit selfish, idk if its subconscious or not. they care a lot about their own feelings, but dismiss other people's feelings and have a 'it's not that deep' attitude when they do something that hurts others. I've noticed this with 3 different scorpio sun/leo moon people.
✩ if astrology isn't real then why do sagittarius placements speak before they think??? lol it's kinda funny seeing their faces when they realise they just said something outrageous.
✩ people with venus in their 5th, please stop flirting with everything that has a pulse are ya'll not tired??? (teach me your rizz ways).
✩ i'm calling ya'll out, but cancer moons, please stop playing the victim in situations you created! just take responsibility and move on, no need to play the blaming, crying game. i believe in you! :)
✩ i've noticed pisces mercury people have sweet, soft voices but they tend to mess up when they talk a lot? like stuttering, forgetting what word they wanted to say, mispronouncing words. i guess it's the neptunian energy messing with mercury? anyone else notice it or just me?
✩ my mom is a scorpio mars and she refused to enter a shop where a lady she had beef with 30 years ago works saying "i don't fuck with her" LMFAO the scorpio placements (especially mars) and the grudge holding stereotype is realllll
✩ someone having juno/venus in their 11th house really likes the idea of friends to lovers type of romance! the types to want their lover also be their best friend. ♡
✩ to those who have mars square pluto, it gets better, i promise. you will heal, and the darkness won't last forever. remember that you hold a lot of power within you!
✩ harsh aspects to the MC, especially with sun/moon/mars, can definitely indicate a delay when it comes to finding a career, holding down a job, deciding what you want to do in life. remember that life isn't a race or a competition, even if it seems this way in this society, do it all at your own pace. it's your life, after all!
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random synastry observations;
✩ not really an observation but i find it hilarious how some people are obsessed with the 8th house especially synastry, when it's the house that rules obsession lol the irony.
✩ personally, i've had 8th house synastry quite a lot, and i noticed that i prefer being the planet person, when i'm house i feel the 8th house energy way more to the point where it can become too overwhelming, when i'm the planet i feel it but not as intensely. so in my experience, the house person is the one who's more obsessed/attached/repulsed.
✩ someone's ascendant falling into another's 8th house will make the 8th house person feel intimidated/scared of the ascendant even if there's no reason to be.
✩ a family member's chiron falling in someone's 4th house can indicate deep wounds when it comes to family/childhood, the chiron person either created the wounds or triggers them for the house person. :/
✩ on a lighter note, someone's venus in another's 1st house! how sweet! i noticed it doesn't even have to be conjunct to the ascendant (although it definitely helps if it is), the attraction/appreciation is still definitely there! the venus person loves the 1st house and how they look and present themselves, if romantic, i picture the gif of a cartoon character with heart eyes popping out when they look at the 1st house person!
✩ 12th house synastry really does feel foggy, more so for the planet person, you never actually know what the house truly thinks of you, when you're together it can feel awesome and like such a close bond, but when apart suddenly doubts start to come in, like "do they really like me?" or "are we actually close or am i being delusional and imagining it?" and "what if it's one sided and only i'm feeling this way, and the house doesn't even care?" it can be a real mindfuck fr.
✩ someone's mars falling in another's 3rd house and/or conjunct their mercury can show the two people love talking to each other and have the most engaging and diverse conversations, the types to just stay up all night and talk about 100s of different topics! if badly aspected though it can lead to heated debates and arguments, especially the mars person being more argumentative and aggressive in their approach.
✩ venus conjunct someone's chiron is super nice to have, the venus person soothes the chiron person and helps them heal whatever wounds they are carrying! very supportive and sweet bond.
✩ in friendships/family, moon conjunct mars can feel abrasive for the moon person, the mars person being too aggressive/harsh for the moon even if they don't mean it and it's subconscious, the moon tends to take mars' words and actions to heart.
✩ in romantic relationships though, i personally found it works really well, the bond they have is amazing and the mars person tends to be very protective and loyal when it comes to the moon, it's a fiery aspect so when they fight they fight hard, but when they love, it burns in the best way possible!
✩ 6th house synastry really doesn't get enough attention and a lot of people tend to gloss over it, but it's so cute! it's definitely an acts of service and quality time type of vibe between two people, they just love hanging out with each other even if they're not doing anything in particular, or they love helping each other out with different things. it gives cooking/baking together, having movie marathons with a bunch of snacks and blankets, napping together, going for late night walks/drives just bc, one person is reading and the other is watching tiktoks while enjoying the comfortable silence.
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these are some of my basic observations, feel free to agree/disagree with me! i hope ya'll have a nice day! ♡
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cheeseceli · 1 year ago
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When you struggle to eat
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Pairing: Ot8!skz × Gn!reader (individually)
Genre: hurt/comfort, fluff, reactions
Request: reader thinking she eats "too much" and decides to eat way less for her body image, and how the skz boys would react to that.
Warnings: eating struggles will be discussed; reader has body image issues; mentions of food multiple times; use of petnames in Chan and Changbin's
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Disclaimer: this was made with the purpose to comfort anyone who's going through a similar situation. If I made a mistake and made someone uncomfortable/aggravated the situation, please do tell me and I'll correct or delete this post immediately, whatever is preferred. Topics related to eating disorders will be discussed here, please don't read if that's something that triggers you.
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Bang Chan - is ready to listen to all your worries
‌We all remember Chan's Room right?
‌He's ready to spend hours if needed just to understand what you're going through ‌and where your insecurities are coming from
‌At the same time, he will never judge you
‌So you know he's your safe place
Constantly checks up on you even if he's far away through texts and calls
And if there's someone who's aggravating the situation or making you insecure, you can bet he's gonna solve the situation himself
"Talk to me baby. What's going on in that mind of yours, hm?"
Lee Know - eats with you
Probably the first to realise something's off, considering food is almost his love language atp
Likes to have as many meals with you as possible
‌He usually makes a mountain of food in his plate, so you don't worry about the amount of food in yours
‌And he also runs errands with you
‌Especially those like buying food
‌You don't even gotta ask, he would be volunteering on the first opportunity
‌Also cooks for you, whatever you want
"Do you want to eat anything? I can cook"
Changbin - Hype man
‌Your personal hype man fr
‌Is ready to compliment you in absolutely everything
‌The best part is that you know that his compliments are always genuine
‌What do you mean you didn't like that trousers?? You looked fantastic in it! That shirt made you look even more gorgeous
‌He has known you for so long and still, he always finds something new to compliment you on
But even if after all the reassurance you want to change the way you look, he will be by your side to help you do it in a safe and healthy way
"You look perfect, baby. I promise. Actually, I still don't believe I managed to pull someone so beautiful like that"
Hyunjin - has all meals with you
‌And with that, I really mean all meals
‌Breakfast, lunch, dinner, you name it
‌Even if you can't really get out of your work place or your university, he's going there then
‌He just doesn't want you to be by yourself
‌He also always has something to say during those meals
‌News about their comeback, gossip at jyp, stories from his childhood...
He never fails to admire you a lot in those moments as well, never letting you forget how much he loves and appreciates you
‌He does that hoping it will distract you from the food, so you can be more at ease
"Have I ever told you about the time Kkami bit my ankle? I think I still have the scar."
Han - makes you feel beautiful
‌He truly doesn't understand how you don't think you're the most beautiful human being to ever set foot on this earth
‌In his eyes, you were born perfect
‌So, naturally, he makes it his mission to make you see yourself in his point of view
‌Compliments and adores you
‌Will make you feel beautiful, pretty, sexy, cute... Whatever you wanna be
‌Above all, he'll make you feel loved
"No matter what size, you'll always be my love. Don't forget that."
Felix - distracts you
‌With that, I mean that he tries to take your attention off food and body image related subjects
‌Before and after eating, he will always bring you along to activities where your mind can be turned off
‌So many fun dates!!
‌Even during the meals he'll have a similar idea to hyunjin and simply won't shut up
‌Most of his compliments don't involve around your body, so you really don't think about it
"I love this hairstyle of yours. It looks wonderful"
Seungmin - protects you
‌In a sense that no one even dares to comment on your looks/habits
Even if he isn't there with you
‌That because he made it very clear that everyone should watch their mouths around you
‌For as long as he's around you, he will do his best and more to protect you from harmful comment
Also tries to experiment a lot of different foods with you all the time, so you never feel like that's a burden or a bad thing
"Hey, have you heard about the new restaurant close to home? The food is peruvian. We could have dinner there tonight."
I.N - physically reassures you
‌He loves you and every single part of you, including your looks
I believe he was a bit lost in the beginning, not exactly sure on how to help you
‌But even if his words aren't exactly his biggest strength, he still wants to reassure you as much as he can
‌So he does that with his touch
‌Holding you on his lap, kissing all of your "imperfections" and tracing patterns in your skin
‌Anything that can ground, reassure and give you comfort at the same time
"Have I ever told you how perfect you are? I should tell you that more."
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Masterlist | you'll probably like: when you're overworked (ateez comfort)
Thank you for reading<3 I hope this was able to help someone
» I won't put the taglist on this one as I don't want to tag anyone in something that can possibly trigger them «
Dividers by @/cafekitsune, images 1 2 3
Thank you so much for the beta readers: @duhgurl @beebee18 @applekiwi3202 @elqivxstxr @mrsunshine999 @msauthor
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chaoticwriting · 5 months ago
Text
FENTON CRIME FAMILY 3
Part 2
Jazz is very annoyed right now. She is walking home from work today since she only needs to do a half day. The last breakout has released most of the inmates patients and they are still in the process of being returned except the one that poses major threats to Gotham.
Anyway, the reason why Jazz is so annoyed is because a group of men have been following her for awhile now. And they haven't even tried anything yet and just keep staring at her like she wouldn't notice them.
Going into a dark alley, Jazz decides that if they don't want to take action, she will force their hands into it. The men look at each other as Jazz enters the alley and follow suit. As soon as they enter the alley, they see Jazz make a turn deeper into the alley and run after Jazz to not lose her.
Apparently, they never get taught to never underestimate who they are pursuing. Immediately after they turn, the front guy is hit with a metal bat with a green printing that reads Fenton. The second guy reacts fast by holding the metal bat to avoid Jazz taking another swing but holding it bare hand is also a big mistake.
*Zaaaapppp*
The guy that holds the bat is shocked with a high voltage of lightning from the bat. His hair burns as electric static jumps from one of his hair to another.
Suddenly, just as she is about to pull her bat away, an arm reaches out to her shoulder, sending her instinct flaring, making her swing the bat as fast as possible towards the person that just approaches her.
*Crack*
Jazz: Oh my god! Jason! I'm so sorry. I don't know it is you. Let's go to the hospital to check on your hand right now.
Jazz reaches for Jason's other arm that doesn't get hit by her bat and starts pulling him out of the alley. Jason tries to pull away to stop her but in her panic, she doesn't realize how strong she is while pulling Jason.
Jason: Wait, Jazz. It's fine. Really. This is not the first time I break my hand. You don't need to feel guilty. How about this? You treat me to dinner later on in exchange for breaking my hand.
Jazz: But your hand. I can't just treat you to a meal and be done with it.
Jason: It's fine. Though if you really feel guilty about it, you can do me a really good favour.
Jazz: Favour?
Jason: Yes. It's nothing much. Rather than treating me to a meal, how about you go on a date with me?
Jazz: A date?
Jason: Yes. A date. Call me when it is convenient for you to go out with me. Okay?
Jazz: *Blushes* Yes.
Jason: Good. Don't forget to call me later, yes? You have my number right?
Jazz:*Nods*
Jason: Well then. See you later.
Jazz: Wait!
Jason: Yes?
Jazz: The day after tomorrow I'm free. Come pick me up after 9.
Jason: Alright. Bye princess.
Jazz just stares as Jason rides his motorcycle away down the road. Did she really just get a date with Jason? Oh my god! She can't believe it. Does Jason know she has a crush on him? Oh god she hopes she doesn't embarrassed herself just now. She sounds so desperate though. She can't let Danny or Ellie know about it.
-Jason POV-
Oh god! Oh god! Oh my god! Did he really just say that? To Jazz? How thick is his face? He even called her princess at the end. Thankfully she didn't react negatively. He totally blames Dick for rubbing his flirty personality on him. Where does he even find the confidence to say all of that with a straight face?
Though Jazz is very strong. Breaking his arm with a metal bat is one thing, but she also can pull him easily even if he struggles against her. Plus with her height slightly above him, she is totally his dream woman. There is a reason his favorite is Wonder Woman after all.
Jason rides his bike back to the manor, humming happily while completely forgotten about his broken hand. It is until Alfred hands out a cup of tea that he drops that he remembers that his hand is broken. Alfred heavily chastised him for trying to hide his injury and didn't take his excuse of forgetting about it.
Jason eats his dinner with the family quietly while imagining about his date later. When suddenly, his peace is interrupted.
Tim: Okay, I'm getting creeped out now. Why is Jason so quiet? Last time he was this quiet, he replaced all my coffee with a decaf.
Jason: What do you want with me, Timbo? You want me to cuss you out every few minutes? Or you want me to act lovey dovey with you? You could go to your boyfriend or girlfriend or whoever you are dating currently for that.
Stephanie: Yeah, Tim. I agree with Jason. We should leave him alone so that he could go back to dreaming about his imaginary girlfriend or something.
Jason: She is not imaginary!
Dick: You have a girlfriend! I knew it. That looks you have before this is only something I see when all of you get a new partner. Who is it? Is it someone we know? Come on, tell your big brother.
Jason: Fuck you! I don't need to tell shit to any of you. All of you have terrible love life anyway. I don't need advice from those that failed.
Dick,Steph,Cass,Tim: Hey!
Bruce:*Grunts*
Duke: I don't think mine is bad though.
Jason: Of course yours is good. That's why you are my favorite.
Dick: What! I thought I am your favorite.
Jason: No. You were my favorite. My favorite now is Duke.
Steph: No offense to Duke. But why him?
Jason: Because out of everyone here, he is the only one here who has a gang.
Duke: For the last time, We Are Robin is a movement. Not a gang.
Jason: Yeah sure, little brother. Whatever let you sleep at night.
Tim: Why don't we go back to the fact that Jason's girlfriend?
Jason: And why don't we talk about your missing spleen?
Tim: Touché
Dick: Wait, Jason. Does your girlfriend know about the Red Hood thingie? Or is she just a normal civilian?
Jason: Well she is a civilian alright. Just not a normal one.
Steph: What's that supposed to mean?
Jason: That's for you to figure out.
Jason then gets up and puts his dishes into the sink. He returns to his home and lays on his bed. Seeing his broken hand, he doesn't know if he should hope it heals sooner so that he can go on a date with Jazz better or he should wish that Jazz first gift to him last a lot longer.
-The Bowery-
Danny and Ellie are having a stand off right now. The reason? Someone forgot to take out the trash and now Jazz is mad at everyone. Both of them are sure it is the other's turn to take out the trash but they just aren't sure enough.
Jazz at the side: It is actually me but I need something to distract me from today's incident.
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flawseer · 6 months ago
Note
Became curious based on a Smaugust piece: What are your thoughts on everyone's favorite royal suck-up, Pike? (also ofc compliments to your writing and art)
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Surprise, I am still kicking. And thus my Sisyphean quest to answer all the questions in my inbox continues.
I like Pike. I used to think moderately favorably of him, but pondering this question and then drawing a bunch of pictures of and about him made me realize that, yeah, I am rather fond of him. He is funny and cute in the same way a small, yappy dog is.
I remember once talking to my partner about Pike and I asked: "Do you think the JMA staff has to deal with Pike constantly trying to sleep in the hallway in front of Anemone's room?" Only to then realize, upon re-reading the books, that this actually happens in canon. I was thrilled.
Most of the time when people ask me what I think of a character, they want to hear what my take on them is, so I'll get into that.
Background
I don't think a lot is known about Pike's life, outside him having been assigned as Anemone's (questionably) covert bodyguard. He is one of those background characters that fill out the student roster at JMA but don't get a lot of development, though he is one of the more lucky ones as he gets comparatively more lines and scenes than, say, Barracuda, or Garnet.
We don't ever hear about his home life or familial situation, but I think he comes from a common military family. Not a particularly prestigious one, but rather one of middling significance. I imagine one of his ancestors--like his great grandmother--once made it to captain and ever since the whole family has prided themselves on their military legacy and loyalty to the Seawing throne, even though nobody else really knows who they are.
Pike's parents are both bottom rung palace guards; trusted enough to be stationed vaguely near the seat of government over a remote outpost, but nothing more. As is tradition in their family, they signed up as soon as they were old enough to hold a trident. Pike was expected to follow in their footsteps, and so did the same. He is naturally eager to please, doesn't ask many questions, and knows how to follow orders, so he took to this life relatively well.
One thing immediately apparent when observing Pike is that he is very blunt, headstrong, and reckless. He is prone to self-injury and mishaps, routinely making a tail end of himself during exercises. One day, I imagine, he was out in the courtyard, practicing his combat maneuvers, when he somehow managed to trap himself underneath a training dummy in a humiliating way. Unbeknownst to him, the Queen and Princess were walking past a window overlooking this scene, and the latter happened to spot him.
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Princess Anemone, starved for normal social contact due to being permanently leashed to her overbearing mother, immediately took a liking to the clumsy guard and wished to take Pike into her service. The Queen though, hated the idea. Anything she couldn't control with 100% certainty was not to be let near her only living daughter. She didn't even let her own sons approach the Princess for this very reason. So she refused.
But Anemone, sensing an opportunity to finally snatch a tiny mote of control over her own life, didn't relent. She would never overtly defy her mother, but pushed back against her in the most passively aggressive way she could muster. She WOULD have this one thing that was hers, no matter how many times she had to sigh wistfully or forget to eat.
Coral meanwhile still disliked the idea, but after some pondering figured this could work to her advantage. Granting her daughter this favor would make her grateful, and thus easier to keep in check. It was not like the boy would be able to do anything undesirable since she would always be there to watch anyway. And if he ever displeased her, a random guard was easier to dispose of without turning heads, than if she let Anemone play with one of her brothers.
So eventually, she acquiesced, and extracted Pike from the palace guard to assign him to her daughter's protection.
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The news hit Pike's family like lightning. Suddenly, after decades of being nobodies with delusions of grandeur, the whole palace was paying genuine attention to them, and the new recruit who, overnight, got assigned to be the Princess' personal retainer. Pike's parents took him aside and impressed on him how important of a task this was. If he did his job well and kept the Princess content and safe, not only would the current Queen think favorably of all of them, but Anemone would remember his service and reward him once she took the throne herself. For his sake and theirs, this was an opportunity not to be squandered.
And thus, Pike shouldered this great responsibility suddenly thrust onto his wings and embraced being Anemone's personal servant and protector. Pushed forward by his sense of honor and loyalty, a desire not to disappoint his family, and the knowledge that, if he were to fail and lose the only heir, Queen Coral would surely kill him.
Day-to-day life
Pike takes his duty very seriously, both out of loyalty to his liege, and because of how much is at stake for him personally. I picture him getting up during the small hours each morning and beginning his daily exercise routine, to stay in shape for his job. His roommate Flame often wakes up to him noisily doing squats in the middle of the sleeping cave and yells at him. "Am I cursed to be tormented by a diminutive idiot Seawing wherever I go!??!" Pike is lucky that his other roommate, Bigtail, is a heavy sleeper. Otherwise the training session would likely be cut short, with Pike tied to the ceiling lamp.
After wrecking Flame's sleep, Pike usually seeks out Anemone and attempts to stay near her at all times. Initially this caused friction between him and the teachers, as he would often skip his own classes to attend Anemone's. He only stopped doing this when Tsunami made it clear skipping classes would get him sent home, and thus away from Anemone permanently.
As they spent time at the Academy, the Princess began to get better and better at giving Pike the slip whenever she got fed up with his overprotectiveness. He freaks out whenever she vanishes, which is often. To help manage his stress, the JMA staff make him attend regular seminars on inner peace and meditation hosted by Fatespeaker. He is not very good at it, but enjoys the exercises that involve listening to running water.
He began to mellow out for a bit after initial growing pains, until the History cave incident occurred. The bombing shook him back into the bodyguard mindset and he began sleeping in the hallway outside of Anemone's sleeping cave. It weirds out Ostrich whenever she has to climb over him. Attempts to get him to stop this have been unfruitful. The current policy seems to be to let him do this until things calm down and he stops on his own.
Anything else
I believe Pike may have a thing for Rainwings. He is generally hyper-aggressive and rude towards everyone he talks to, with two notable exceptions. One of them is Anemone, whom he is sworn to serve and keep safe. The other is Tamarin, whom he is uncharacteristically kind to. My personal impression is that he may have a bit of a crush on her, but keeps himself from pursuing it as to not upset Anemone.
To my knowledge, Pike never really interacts with Turtle. That is a shame, because I would like to know how they would get along. Pike may be greatly disappointed at Turtle's general un-regal-ness, but still begrudgingly respect him out of obligation. I can picture a scene where he berates Turtle for his demeanor, only for someone else to chime in with an affirmative "Yeah Turtle, you suck", upon which Pike turns around and starts ripping into them about disrespecting Seawing royalty.
Concerningly, Pike's future is very uncertain. He is actually in grave danger right now. If Queen Coral ever finds out that he allowed a murderous, seawing-hating ancient wizard to abduct Anemone, she will have some opinions on that. If Coral has one consistent character trait, it is homicidal vengefulness against anyone who fails to protect her children, regardless of circumstance, regardless even if the perpetrator IS one of her children. That means there is a very real chance she will recall Pike from Jade Mountain and try to tear him apart.
I don't think Anemone would allow this to happen, mind you. She has been privy to her mother dragging poor sods out to the plaza to rip their teeth out, enough to recognize the signs of it coming. If she suspected Pike's life was in danger, I believe she would prevent him from leaving.
For now though, he remains at Jade Mountain, doing the best he can with the responsibility he was dealt, acting as Princess Anemone's retainer. It is a difficult, stressful, at times thankless job, but he would not have it any other way.
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"Honor, and duty."
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leahwllmsn · 1 year ago
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so high school
alexia putellas x reader
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You know two things about Alexia Putellas.
Alexia Putellas is the school’s football captain and troublemaker. From showing up late to most of her classes, to getting caught smoking under the bleachers—usually when the name Alexia Putellas is mentioned, it’s not anything good.
That’s why the second thing you know about Alexia Putellas is that you have to stay far, far away from her.
You are the picture perfect high school student. Straight A’s, president of the student council, president of the debate team, all the teachers love you, and all the students envy you. That’s why you promised yourself that you’ll never associate yourself with someone like Alexia Putellas.
It worked out well for years. You’ve been in the same school ever since you were kids but you have never said as much as a ‘hello’ to the brunette.
You’re happy about that.
Staying as far away as possible from Alexia Putellas means you will never get in trouble.
So with the years of experience of avoiding Alexia Putellas, you don't know how you get to this point. Maybe the universe wants to teach you a lesson, maybe the universe just doesn't like you, or maybe you have simply run out of luck. Because one moment you're taking down notes and the next, your history teacher has paired you up with the person you swear you’ll never interact with.
When class is over and everyone rushes out, you go up to the teacher because this is unfair, Alexia Putellas isn’t even in class today. And when he answers your complaints with a shrug and a tone so final that you know he won’t change his mind, you know you’re screwed.
-
“I can’t believe this is happening.”
“Me neither,” your best friend sighs, unwrapping her lunch. “Can’t believe Ona is sick today and I have to put up with your ass alone.”
You roll your eyes. You’re sitting at your usual table at the cafeteria, the spot where Ona usually sits empty. “You would be nicer to me if you knew what just happened to me.”
“Did you get detention?”
“As if,” you scoff. “Now that I think about it, this is worse.”
Aitana turns to look at you, eyebrow raising in question. “What could be worse than that in your standards?”
“This stupid history project.”
“You calling an assignment stupid? That’s a first.”
You let out a sigh, placing your head on the table. “It’s because I got paired up with Alexia Putellas.”
“No way.”
You don't have to look at Aitana to know that she’s trying not to laugh at you. You grunt in reply, your friends always seem to make fun of you every time you’re miserable about something.
“You know, y/n,” Aitana nudges you, causing you to lift your head. “She’s actually not that bad.”
You furrow your brows. “You’ve talked to her?”
“Obviously,” Aitana looks at you like you’ve grown two heads. “She’s captain of the football team. I’m on the football team. Or did you forget?”
“Right,” you grimace as you remember that Alexia Putellas is Aitana’s captain. “Wait, but you’re actually friends with her outside of the field?” You shudder at the thought.
Aitana rolls her eyes. “You sound so dramatic right now.”
“I just can’t wrap my head around the fact that you’re friends with Alexia Putellas.”
“Stop saying her name like that,�� Aitana laughs. “Sure, she brings trouble wherever she goes, but she’s not as bad as people made her out to be. And she’s a fantastic footballer.”
“She’s bad news,” you cross your arms. “Do you remember that time when she showed up to school one morning with her face so bruised up, all we could see were bandages?”
“Yeah,” Aitana says casually, taking a bite out of her lunch. “She got into a fight with someone from the men’s team.”
“Exactly!” you slap Aitana’s arm repeatedly. “She started a fight with the captain of the football team. She’s insane.”
“Men’s football team,” Aitana corrects your statement. “And was it the captain? I swore I remember it being that good-for-nothing defender. Anyway, I’m sure she had her reasons.”
You shrug. “She’s still bad news.”
“And she’s also your history project partner,” Aitana grins at you. “I have her number if you want.”
“No, it’s fine,” you sigh, once again placing your head on the table. “I’ll go look for her after school.”
“Cheer up, grumpy. I have a feeling you’ll like her.”
You scoff. “I think you’re way off, but sure.”
-
tana: oni, first day without you here and y/n is a grumpy mess
y/n: I’m in pain. Stfu.
oni: what’d I miss
tana: y/n’s on her way to talk to alexia
oni: ????
y/n: It’s not what you think.
y/n: I have to talk to her about our history project.
oni: ...goodluck?
y/n: Thanks, I need it.
tana: vry dramatic
-
You have never imagined yourself to be where you are right now. Everyone knows that under the bleachers is the spot where people go when they want to do things that they don’t want the teachers to see—like smoking, or maybe making out with someone. Or other things, you don't really know, because you have never been here.
And you won’t ever step foot in here if it’s not because of Alexia Putellas.
The second you step under the bleachers, the faint smell of smoke wafts up your nose and you have to blink back a couple of times because it’s not as bright as you expected. You figure it’s probably because it’s going to rain soon.
As you takes more steps forward, you realize that no one was there and that maybe you should’ve accepted Aitana’s offer of Alexia Putellas’ number.
You sigh and pull out your phone from the pocket of your jeans. You’re about to press the call button on Aitana’s contact when a voice startles you.
“Looking for me?”
You turn around and standing in front of you is the person you’ve been looking for.
(And you don't know why but the sight of Alexia Putellas in her leather jacket and messy brown hair is making your heart beat faster than it should.)
“I am.” you reply, walking towards her.
“The y/n l/n is looking for me? To what do I owe the pleasure?”
(You hate the way Alexia Putellas’ smirk doesn’t do anything to calm your racing heart.)
“You weren’t in history class today,” you cross your arms. “Why?”
“So you’re worried about me.”
“Why would I be?” you narrow your eyes at the brunette. “We’re partners for a project.”
“Cool.”
You want to scream at how frustrated you are at this whole thing. Alexia Putellas doesn’t care about her grades, she has proven that many times when teachers have always used her as an example of having multiple failing grades. You wonder if they’d expel her if she isn’t the superstar captain of the women’s football team.
“Look,” you rub your temple. “I’m not thrilled about this either—”
“Who says I’m not thrilled?”
“You’re Alexia Putellas, I highly doubt you’d be thrilled about an assignment.”
“Maybe for once I’m thrilled because I have you as a partner.”
“Whatever,” you roll your eyes. “As I was saying, you probably don’t want to do this, right? Which is fine, because what I’ll do is that I’ll get it done and I’ll still put in your name.”
Alexia gives you a confused look. “So you’ll do all the work?”
“Exactly. We don’t have to interact at all, problem solved.”
“You don’t want to hang with me?” Alexia pouts. “I’m sad, y/n.”
And you’re starting to feel the heat rising to your cheeks—no, it's not because of the pout on Alexia Putellas’ face showing just how plump her lips are and it's definitely not because of the sudden thought that flashes in your mind about how those lips would feel on your own. No, you will argue that it's not because of all that. It’s because it has started raining and it’s making it even stuffier under the bleachers.
“I’m going to leave now,” you announce. “It was good to talk to you.”
When you walk past her, you don’t expect her to grab you by the wrist (and you don’t expect Alexia Putellas’ touch to be so gentle).
“Wait,” Alexia starts. “We’re partners, right? I should at least contribute to something.”
You look down at your wrist, still seeing Alexia’s hand around it. “Uhm, I won’t tell anyone, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
Alexia lets go of her hold (and you would be lying if you say you don't feel the slight disappointment creeping in). “It’s not because of that,” Alexia clarifies. “I just want to do it.”
You still look unconvinced and Alexia must’ve noticed too, because she rolls her eyes and murmurs, “Is my reputation really that bad that me wanting to participate in my own assignment is such a surprise?”
“Yes? It’s a two-month long project. Even I’m exhausted just thinking about it.”
Alexia ignores your answer and proceeds to pull out her phone. She unlocks it and hands it to you.
You look at her questioningly and Alexia sighs. “Put your number in.”
“My number?”
“How should we contact each other about the project?”
You stay quiet for a moment, taking in Alexia’s face. She looks determined and it’s weird to you because you figure she would just accept your offer of doing all the work for her. “You’re serious about this.”
“Just put your number and we’ll figure a schedule out.”
You’re still looking at Alexia skeptically but slowly reaches out to take the phone and put your number in nonetheless.
And when you see that her phone wallpaper is a picture of her smiling (adorably) at the camera next to her dog, you don’t think that’s how a troublemaker should look like. You wonder just how much you know about Alexia Putellas.
-
Their first meeting doesn’t go well—you expected this.
You agreed to meet at the library after school the next day and you have been sitting there, waiting for an hour until you decide to give up because stupid Alexia Putellas is nowhere to be found. You are so pissed.
You get up and slings your backpack over your shoulder. You make it to the parking lot and are about to unlock your car when you hear a voice call out to you.
“y/n!”
You don't have to turn around to know who the voice belongs to. It’s the same voice you heard yesterday under the bleachers (and the voice that somehow made it to your dream last night, but you will never admit this).
You ignore the calls and keep on walking. You’re a few steps away from your car when suddenly Alexia catches up to you and jumps in front of you, making you jump slightly and halting your steps.
“Hey.” Alexia says, trying to catch her breath.
You cross your arms, scowling at her. “What do you want?”
“I’m sorry I’m late.”
“Ten minutes is late, an hour just means you never wanted to come in the first place.”
Alexia winces. “I do want to come, I swear. I overslept.”
You look unamused. “It’s 3 p.m.”
“I know,” Alexia flashes a sheepish smile. “I decided to take a nap while I wait for your debate thing to end, but I overslept.”
And you would have never believed that excuse if it’s not for the groggy voice and the pillow face she’s wearing. So you just sigh and motion for her to follow you as you walk towards the bleachers because that’s the only place you could think of going since the library is closing soon.
-
“I really am sorry for making you wait.”
You’re sitting at the top of the bleachers, you at the tallest step with your laptop on your lap and Alexia looking up at you from one step below.
“It’s fine,” your replies were short. You’re still a little bit annoyed at the whole situation. If you could’ve picked a partner for history class, it would be Ona. Ona will never be late and Ona will never annoy you this much.
But the way that Alexia keeps on apologizing every few minutes and looking away with a pout on her face when you don't respond, you’re also sure that Ona will never make your heart flutter the way it does around Alexia Putellas—and you don’t want to think of what this could mean.
-
After an hour of sitting uncomfortably under the hot sun, you figure out another thing about Alexia Putellas.
Alexia Putellas is incredibly smart and you’re surprised at how eloquent she is when she lists down everything she knows about the history of Catalonia.
“You fail almost all your classes.” you speak up.
“Yes,” Alexia nods. “What does that have to do with anything I just said?”
“I just wasn’t expecting you to say all that.”
Alexia grins at her. “Do you like surprises, y/n?”
“Uhm, I guess.” you stare back at her confused.
Alexia hums. “Then I guess I’ll have to keep on surprising you.”
You don't respond because you don’t know how to. So you focus your attention back to your laptop and try your best to type something down in order to take your mind off how Alexia Putellas is doing something to you and you’re not sure if it's a good thing or not.
-
Your next meeting starts off well. Alexia is early, you walk into the library to find the brunette already there, her usual leather jacket folded on the chair next to her.
It’s a week after your first meeting and you will never admit it, but you have been looking forward to this day for the whole week.
(It’s because you just want to get this project done, you would convince yourself.)
(Not because in the classes you have with Alexia, she always sits at the back when you sit at the front, so you never really get to see her.)
(No, it’s not because of this.)
“Hi, boss,” Alexia smiles at you. “I didn’t oversleep today.”
“That’s good to hear,” you say, sitting down and opening your bag to take out your laptop.
“I know you’re proud of me.”
You roll your eyes, a small smile on your lips. “Where do you even take your naps?”
“Under the bleachers.”
“Seriously?” you raise your eyebrows. “That must be uncomfortable.”
Alexia shrugs. “There’s a bed.”
“I’m sorry—what?”
“There’s this small mattress. I don’t know who it belongs to or why it’s there, but it’s there.”
You nod, a confused expression still on your face. “I see.”
“I can take you there sometime.”
You don't know if Alexia meant it in a flirty way, but judging by the smirk on her face, she did. So you just roll your eyes and type in the password to your laptop. “You should take me out to dinner first.”
“Okay, I will.” Alexia says it so nonchalantly and you wonder if Alexia’s stomach is filling up with butterflies too.
-
It’s not until the third meeting that you start to text each other with stuff unrelated to the project.
ale: did u know that chipmunks have 4 toes on their back paws but 5 toes on their front ones
y/n: No?
ale: well now u do :-)
y/n: Did you know that you look like you’re part of the chipmunk family?
ale: ???
ale: heeey
y/n: What’s up?
ale: nothin, just thinking about u
y/n: Why
ale: just because
y/n: Are you expecting me to say that I’m thinking about you too?
ale: you are? :D
y/n: No.
ale: whatever ;(
y/n: Why was the chipmunk late for work?
ale: did I miss a conversation somewhere
y/n: Because traffic was nuts.
ale: …
ale: I love it
And it’s not until the fifth meeting that you realize another thing about Alexia Putellas, and that is: Alexia Putellas makes you smile a lot.
You wonder what people think about when the stupid smile on your face appears every time you receive a text from her. Even Ona and Aitana have been pestering you non-stop about it and you’re running out of excuses as to why with every notification you receive, your lips seem to curve upwards automatically.
ale: u look beautiful
y/n: ?
ale: just stating what I see
y/n: Smooth talker. You’re not even here.
ale: I am, on ur right
y/n: Oh wow.
y/n: Aren’t you always out smoking under the bleachers during lunch?
ale: you pay attention :D
You stop once you read Alexia’s text because you do pay attention.
Suddenly, you can’t count on your fingers anymore about how many things you know about Alexia Putellas.
Alexia has a ‘resting bitch face’, that's one of the reasons why people are scared of her. She never smiles when she walks down the hallway, her face barely shows any emotion.
Alexia likes to intimidate people, she does that when people stare at her too long and she glares at them in return. And when they scurry away, she would smile in amusement.
Alexia likes to get into trouble, it’s like she purposely wants to get into trouble with how she picks a fight with someone every week and how she always talks back to the teacher.
Alexia Putellas is exactly how people paint her out to be—a reckless troublemaker who doesn’t care about anything and is always angry at the world about something.
But at the same time, you know that's not everything about her.
You know that Alexia is ridiculously talented at football. You’ve come to their matches enough to figure out that every time she touches the ball, it’s magic. You were there in support of Aitana and Ona, obviously. Not Alexia. (But your YouTube history being full of Alexia’s games may be because you were interested in staring at her. Not that you would admit it).
You know that Alexia is warm and gentle and she has different types of smiles. Alexia has a small smile every time she locks eyes with you in the hallways. Alexia has that smile that reaches her eyes when she laughs at something you say even though you’re pretty sure it’s not even that funny. Alexia has a wistful smile every time the day ends and you leave in your car and she leaves in hers.
You know that Alexia taps her foot repeatedly when she’s focusing on doing something. You know that Alexia has the attention span of a five year old because every five minutes, she would whine about how she’s hungry or how she’s getting tired of the library.
You know that Alexia is funny and she makes you laugh so much that you have lost track on how many times the librarian has told you to keep it down.
You know that Alexia is sweet and charming and she says things that make you want to run home and hide because your cheeks would always redden up.
You know that you like seeing a smile on Alexia’s face a thousand times more than the scowl she’s known to have.
ale: hey? why are u spacing out
And even though you feel that you now know everything about Alexia, you realize that you still don't know one thing about her.
You don’t know why Alexia is so different when she’s around you.
-
You are a problem-solver. That is one of the reasons why you’re such a good student—once you encounter a problem, you immediately think of ways to figure it out and most of the time, it’ll only take you a couple of hours to do so.
And so, you are baffled at how you still can’t figure out the mystery of Alexia Putellas.
You’ve spent most of your time together wondering why Alexia seems to smile more when you’re there or why no one but you sees the sparkle in Alexia’s eyes that is brighter than any stars out there, but the answer seems to never come to you.
So when your project has finally ended and you would no longer have your weekly meetings at the library, you should’ve noticed the dejected look on Alexia’s face and that should’ve given you a clue to the answer you have been so desperately searching for.
But apparently you’re not that smart after all, because once your last meeting ends, you bid Alexia goodbye and go home to spend the rest of your day watching Netflix.
And when Alexia doesn’t text you at night like she usually would, you don't think much of it and let yourself sleep instead.
-
You don't see Alexia the following week. She’s not in the cafeteria, or in the hallways, or even in the classes you share once you look to the back of the classroom where she usually sits.
Alexia doesn’t text you either and you know you should’ve text her first, but you figure Alexia is just busy so you don’t reach out.
And when you don't see Alexia in school for another week but Aitana and Ona see her at practice, you realize that Alexia has been avoiding you.
-
You have never been good with feelings. Especially if it involves someone who you have swore you would stay far, far away from.
So you have been ignoring all these feelings inside of you, ignoring the way your heart speeds up at the mention of Alexia, ignoring how your dreams are now filled with Alexia’s sweet face.
But it’s reached a point where you can’t ignore it anymore because the ache in your heart after not having heard from Alexia in weeks was getting bigger and bigger.
It’s that yearning in your chest that causes you to walk to Alexia’s spot under the bleachers in hopes that she’s there. And when you see her leaning against a pole, one hand in the pocket of her leather jacket and the other holding a cigarette, you finally admit that you might be in love with Alexia Putellas.
“Hi.”
You could see Alexia slightly jump in surprise at your voice. She turns around and her eyes widen when they lock with yours.
“y/n.” Alexia says, her tone clearly showing that she’s not expecting to see you.
“Are you avoiding me?” you jump straight to the point.
“What? No. No?” Alexia stammers, throwing her cigarette to the ground and stepping on it. “What makes you think so?”
You simply scoff and step closer to her. “I’m not stupid, you know.”
“I know, you have straight A’s.”
“That’s not what I mean,” you glare at her. “I haven’t heard from you in weeks.”
When Alexia doesn’t reply, you add in a whisper, “I miss you.”
Alexia still isn’t replying, she just keeps on staring at you with a look that you can’t comprehend.
A second later, when Alexia reaches forward and pulls your face towards her and you can taste the smoke on Alexia’s lips, you realize that the answer you’ve been searching for seems to be simpler than you anticipated.
-
Now you don’t remember why you promised yourself to stay as far away as possible from Alexia. And you don't know how you could be happy about never having spoken to Alexia before.
Because with the way Alexia picks you up in the classes you don’t have together just to walk you to your next class and the way Alexia always waits up for your debate club to end before driving you home, you can list down a hundred more reasons why you should always stay near to Alexia.
Because Alexia feels like sunshine and Alexia makes you feel like you’re always walking on clouds.
Now when the name Alexia Putellas is mentioned, you knows it’s everything good in the world all at once.
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ddejavvu · 2 years ago
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can i request spencer reid w bau!reader and their married but reader forgets to put her wedding ring back on and derek’s asking spencer about what happened/if theyre having marital problems and spencer starts panciking but she just forgot about it in her pocket😭
Derek's brow is knitted in real, authentic concern when he corners Spencer in the BAU's kitchenette, and it turns Spencer's stomach. Usually, Derek has a teasing glimmer in his eyes, but it's scarily absent today, and he braces a large hand on Spencer's lanky bicep.
"Pretty boy," Derek starts, and his tone is soft, soothing, kind, "Anything you wanna talk about? I'm here if you need me, y'know."
Spencer tries feigning calm, which is terribly hard to do as someone who's fraught with nerves constantly, but he keeps an even tone when he speaks.
"I don't think so. Should I want to talk about something?"
Derek smiles sympathetically, almost a grimace, and Spencer feels a flash of fear run through him. Has Derek heard something about his mom?
"I don't think anyone else has noticed yet," Derek assures Spencer, "But I saw Y/N's not wearing her ring."
It's not what he'd been expecting, dreading, but it's not pleasant either. Spencer's eyes dart hurriedly to your hunched form, shoulders bent and crowding your desk as you devote yourself entirely to your paperwork. Sure enough, your wedding ring is absent from your finger, leaving an uncomfortably blank space on your skin, and Spencer's brows knit together.
"I didn't know," Spencer admits, keeping his voice to a low murmur, "I- But- we aren't having any problems. I don't think."
Derek shoots that awful pitying grimace his way again, and Spencer shakes his head, his stringy hair flying.
"No, no- we're not- we're not having problems," He asserts, but he's not sure if he's trying to convince himself or Derek more, "I mean, we bickered about coffee this morning, but not- not marriage problems bad. She just forgot it."
Spencer knows what expression will be on Derek's face if he looks, so he doesn't. He busies himself with stirring the rest of the sugar into his coffee, excusing himself before Derek can press the issue even further.
On his way out of the kitchenette he snags a donut from an open box on the counter, slipping a napkin beneath it and trying not to rush to your desk. He doesn't want to seem obvious, but he's a flaming bundle of nerves.
"Angel," He gets right to the point, placing the donut beside your hand on the desk and leaning over the back of your chair. He nestles his cheek to yours, pressing his lips against the curve of your jaw and blocking your conversation from view of the bullpen with the way he shrouds you from behind.
"Spence," You begin, alarmed at the sudden ambush of sugar, both literally and figuratively, "What-?"
"Are you mad at me?" He asks, sounding rather like a child worrying to their parents. You're only more confused after his question, and you tentatively shake your head.
"No? Should I be?"
"I don't think so," Spencer hums, "But you're not wearing your ring."
You blink, glancing at your bare ring finger.
"Oh!" You gush, your shoulders pressing back against his own as you maneuver your hand into your pocket. It's difficult sitting down, but you retrieve the ring and jam it back onto your finger, "I took it off earlier because I was taking the trash out. I didn't want it to get all goopy, and I guess I just forgot it was in there." You let your explanation hang in the air for a moment, but your eyes flash with sympathy, remembering Spencer's initial question, "Oh, Spence, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to freak you out."
"It's okay," He breathes out a shaky sigh of relief, reluctant to straighten up from where he's hugging you from behind, "You didn't even freak me out. Morgan did."
You laugh, and the sound soothes those frayed nerves in his chest, the ones that had lit with sparks of panic at Morgan's pity, "Well, don't listen to Morgan from now on. However," You reach for the donut, tearing it in half and holding one end out to Spencer while you catch the other between your teeth, "If it means I get donuts in apology, maybe I'll forget my wedding ring in my pocket more often."
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nikki0606 · 8 months ago
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my man | aizawa shouta X reader
[oneshot; (part 1) . (part 2 will be out soon)]
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.
It's bittersweet walking through the gates of the school building you would run around in with your friends almost a decade ago now.
Not a thing has changed, you can still imagine yourself chasing Shirakumo to get back your lunch while the other girls leave you behind not wanting to deal with what comes next.
This 'next' is Yamada's loud calls. Obviously, the whole of the school would know who he is looking for during the breaks. His voice made it from one end of the school to the other and that, when U.A. covers a massive swathe of land.
One of the only unfamiliar places of the school is where you're headed now– the teachers' lounge.
It's going to go well.. relax.
You're nervous, not because you've now chosen to teach in the very school you yourself became a hero but because you will finally be in front of the faces you haven't seen in ages having needed to move abroad immediately after school for your mother's cancer treatment.
The door opens before you can hold the knob revealing the same principal from years ago, you wonder if he ever ages at all.
"Just in time, (L/n)-san. I just briefed the other teachers about you." his lips curve to the same smile you've known forever and instantly, one rises up your face, he continues, "How have you been?"
"I've been doing well." you smile and enter as he open the door thereby coming into sight of all the people sitting in the room.
"That's brilliant to hear." Nezu lifts his paw, but before he can say anything else, a way-too-loud call of "(Name)-chan! You're the new teacher?" cuts in.
Nezu doesn't hold you both back from having your moment. Instantly, Yamada hurries in for a hug, "You're back– wait, I should be mad at you for not keeping in touch!"
Midnight is next, she calls you her favourite Kohai from school times and brags to everyone about the fun you all would have fun after basically lifting you and swinging you around in the hug.
The others teachers chuckle and them and tell you they haven't been their chaotic selves in some time before this.
It is during the talk with the new people around that you notice Aizawa Shouta leaned against the wall in the corner of the room, his face turned to the ground in front and a conflicted look adorning it.
Your lips twitch– he hasn't even come to greet you despite you having returned after almost a decade.
Something tells you you shouldn't be surprised, however. He has always been his 'stay out of attention' self. Maybe he didn't want to draw too much of attention to the fact that he knows you too?
But he is a teacher here so he shouldn't be complaining about attention in the first place.
Oh, whatever reason it is.
You make your way to him while the fuzziness from years ago enters your chest again. It's alright– you know you feel exactly the same way for him as you did years ago.
Or maybe whatever this is more intense. You've longed for him for almost a decade now after all.
"Shouta-kun." his name sounds melodic as it leaves your lips, "H-How are you doing?" there is a small pause, "I mean.. y-you remember me, right?"
The indifferent, unfamiliar look in his eyes makes your throat fill up with an acidic doubt. You swallow hard.
"I don't have the memory of a goldfish, (Name)-chan." he sigh and turns his head to the side, "Of course I remember you. You were way to noisy to forget back then."
"I can't tell whether that's a compliment or an insult." the laugh that escapes your lips is more of relief than amusement.
He hums, then steps away from you, turning to say, "Go figure out." before he walks off.
You halt, blinking a few times at his figure leaving the room.
"It's time for class." Yamada's arm falls on your shoulder, "It's not that he's running from you or something, okay?"
You let out a snort, "As if I'd assume that." but you partially have.
"Lie to someone else." he shakes his head, then holds his hands in front of his face, "Shouta-kun's mind is tunnel visioned to his students like this during work hours here. All of ours are– minus Nemuri-chan because she's.. well forget it, you'll get to know –but, point is, you'll have to work hard here, (Name)-chan."
"Oh, hit me with anything, Hizashi-kun." your lips tug upwards.
He frowns, "But that day I hit you with the iron rod, you cried."
.
_______________________________________________
.
"What does go figure out even mean?" your head rests against the glass window. Classes ended half an hour ago and you're proud to say you did pretty well for a first time.
"It means go figure out." Yamada gives you company to act like an idiot in front of the departing students, "What do you think it is, a compliment or an insult?"
"Totally an insult." you deadpan at him.
"At least your retardation hasn't gotten worse over the years." Aizawa's voice walks past the both of you and you and Yamada immediately jolt straight and turn to see him walk away with test papers.
"A test on the first day of school after summer break?" you shiver, "Shouta-kun's the devil to his students."
"Oh," Yamada shakes his head pitifully, "he is. Before the last year, he always told the whole class they've failed and are expelled from the school just to give them a near death experience."
"That idiot.. " your gaze lingers on his figure walking further away in the corridor. The boy you knew was just nineteen when you last saw him.
He's a man now.
They both really did age well.
Your mind prefers to place Aizawa on the top of this 'aging well' hierarchy until Midnight comes into your mind and you have to readjust with a chuckle.
To celebrate your return, Yamada drags you all into a restaurant he owns for dinner later that evening.
Partially, you hope he would have given you time to get dressed pretty for a certain pair of tired black eyes but the other part argues you've lose your head in stress of what to wear and what to not if that happened.
Conversations drag on at the table while plates empty into all of your stomachs. Being heroes means a massive diet after all.
"And then there was this weird self-obsessed-ish kid." you did try to eat decently in front of the others but they remembered how rabid you are so it was no good.
"Who– wait, I know. It's Monomoa." Yamada laughs, "No one else in 2B fits under that terminology."
"He's not self obsessed, come on." Aizawa sighs and shakes his head, "Are you seriously considering teaching at U.A. a joke?"
"I mean.. " you shrug, "they took you in so it would be pretty lousy here, wouldn't it?"
Yamada and Kayama laugh.
"Oh?" Aizawa's eyebrows raise, "Says the girl who lost a Sports Festival match because a bug got into her costume."
"For your information, it was a worm." you gag at the memory, "And it reminded me of you and your yellow sleeping bags, Shouta-kun. Now tell me then, do you want something that reminds me of you to be wiggling around my boobs?"
Yamada snorts out a glass of water to the side. Aizawa scoffs though he clearly is surprised to see you're just as shameless as you were back then.
"When will you ever grow up?" he rolls his eyes.
"When you get your hair cut short." you place the glass on the table with full confidence, ignoring the way Yamada signals you to change your statement from the side.
"Tomorrow then." Aizawa nods, his lips pulling into his signature shit-eating grin, "If you don't grow up tomorrow, you're responsible for cleaning up all toilets in the staff room."
You realize he would definitely have his hair chopped if it means rubbing this into your face, "Don't you dare touch your hair, Shouta-kun." you life your knife up at him, "Those luscious locks must stay."
While Aizawa facepalms, Kayama laughs out loud in laughter. You tell her she's laughing at anything and she replies telling you you're hilarious.
"And," you turn back to Aizawa, "if that's your way of inviting me to your bathroom, Shouta-kun, I accept the offer." the way he rolls his eyes is enough to make you stop using the playfully seductive tone.
Yamada rubs his cheeks, "Man, living with Shouta-kun's going to give me depression. I haven't laughed much yet but my cheeks already hurt. I'm so glad you're back, (Name)-chan."
"Me too." your expressions melt like butter, you flash them all a beautifully genuine smile, voice getting the slightest bit heavy, "I missed you all so much."
"If you cry, I'll puke." Aizawa comments.
"If I puke, I'll make you lick it all off." you comment back, expressions stoic and staring into space.
Aizawa makes a disgusted face. Kayama has almost actually puked out something at the thought. This sort of talk while eating effects Yamada as little as it does you.
"You took general studies too?" Aizawa sighs and decides to change the topic before you say something more gross.
"Yep."
"Anyone noticeable?"
"If you mean that purple turnip head boy with eyes as head as yours, yes. If you mean anything other than the fact that he's probably an insomniac, no." you shrug and take a bite of your food.
"That's Shouta-kun's son." Yamada snidely mentions. You choke and cough out the contents of your mouth.
"Stop it, Hizashi-kun." Aizawa tiredly leans in his chair.
"You know I won't, don't you?" he grins, "That's the kid Aizawa gives personal lessons too because the kid's quirk is brain related and– oi, he's not actually Shouta-kun's son."
"Oh?" you'd been moments away from hyperventilating and talk airily, "O-Of course.. I-I mean why would he be.. Shouta-kun's too young to have a kid that old."
"Shouta-kun wouldn't have a kid at all because he would sleep through the wedding." Kayama repeats an OG joke from the childhood and you and Yamada laugh nostalgically.
Aizawa's head lolls back tiredly, "So this is a one-sided bullying session against me?"
"Aw, don't be sad about it, Shouta-kun." you coo, "They say only the prettiest people get bitched about. I'm sure you wouldn't mind."
He turns to you, "What stupid romance novel did you read this in now?"
You blink, "What do you mean romance novel?"
"Considering your life outside fantasy is non existent." he tilts his head, "What was that fiction you would read back in the day? You remember it, Hizashi-kun?"
"Ah.. " his eyebrows raise as your ears glow red, "I'd totally forgotten.. don't remember what it was about, though."
Aizawa's grin returns, "A weird hero with silky black hair saves a girl from death and they fall in– " you cut him off before he can say something more to embarrass you.
Just as fucking oblivious about it now too, aren't you, Shouta-kun.
"You paid a lot of attention to me back then, eh, Shouta-kun." this gives you the responsive pause you need, "You even remember the details of the story. Oh my, you weren't jealous, were you?"
Take that, bitch.
The voice in your head says it in too adoring a way for you to be able to muster any sassy expressions. A soft look adorns your face instead.
Aizawa's expressions have dropped to zero. His ears well hidden under his own hair are radiating heat now, it's obvious by the unusual tint against his pale skin.
"Exposed." Yamada snickered, "Poor boy Shouta."
"Shut up, will you?" the man frowns and drops himself against the chair once more, "Fucking noisy, both of you."
"Oh my," your hand comes to your mouth, "did I just hear sensei swear? How dirty."
"I will kill you." he threatens, head turning away.
"Oh," you say in a dramatized tone, "don't you already?"
Aizawa huffs, his scarves covering his cheeks to hide the tint of pink. Kayama realises she wants to see the same colour on your face.
"First day back and she's already flirting with Shouta-kun." her snicker punches your guts, "How obvious you make your crush on him, (Name)-chan."
The effect is immediate, hot red pumps into your face. You pass her a betrayed look but she and Yamada are too busy grinning at each other to care.
Aizawa doesn't interfere or even choose to take a shot against you at this. He pretends to not have heard this at all.
Your lips curve low, it bothers you that he would not react in any way on hearing something like this.
Even if he is not interested in you, you still do wish to have some or the other sort of response from him whenever you gather the courage to confess to him but this firsthand scenario doesn't bring in much.
The cold look from the teacher's lounge appears in your mind momentarily.
You find the need to take a bathroom break.
.
_______________________________________________
.
It's been some time since you've been teaching at U.A., though it was mostly a behind-the-curtain work schedule.
Nezu has decided to make you an official homeroom teacher the next year which means you get teacher training.
"What are we doing?" you're not very sure about what Yamada is leading you into. Principal Nexu did say there is going to be a new task for you today and that your loud friend would take you to it but it definitely has nothing to do in front of Aizawa's classroom, right?
Yamada barges in, "Yeeaah!" he's just as full of energy as ever, "Good morning my lovely little listeners!"
There is a decently energetic response.
While Aizawa tells him to get out, Yamada makes an annoucement, "I'm going to introduce a new teacher to you all today! She's your sensei's very special friend."
You're not the only one who has facepalmed. Aizawa tiredly begs you to take him away with the look on his face.
The students beat you teachers to making a move, though.
"Are we talking about the new teacher you were standing beside with your head against the window with yesterday?" a girl asks.
"Bingo!" Yamada's hands point to her, "This new teacher is," you're dragged inside with one hand, "(L/n) (Name) sensei! The one person in the world who knows how to bully your sensei!"
Aizawa claps sarcastically, "Wow, what an enlightening introduction."
"You really could have done better, Hizashi-kun." you feel embarrassed to be pulled in front of everyone like this, "That's just.. "
"Whatever it is, out, both of you. Now." Aizawa orders.
You hold back from making a 'hot sensei giving orders' joke about him in front of the kids and choose to focus a little longer on the way his hair hangs around his face.
"Oi, her training session briefing is under your surveillance." Yamada tells him and Aizawa mutters something about wanting to be dead, "Take care of the both of them, you all!" he turns to the students.
They don't immediately understand.
"They could either A, fight and kill each other or B, make out and be kicked out from the– " you grab his arm and throw him out, then instantly turn to the class with a strict look.
"Don't you all dare get any funny ideas."
They all clearly push the gossip for later when they reply with a "yes ma'am".
Aizawa behind you looks like he's about to bang his head to the wall. Clearly, he isn't very eager to see his students get the wrong idea and thereby become a topic of gossip.
You honestly wouldn't step in that pit either.
"I'll only be joining you all for training session today." you have your strict face on, "If you think your sensei is bad, I'm a nightmare." but it just so happens that Aizawa snorts at that spoiling the seriousness behind your words.
When you turn to him, you find him trying to make a straight face through amusement. That, but the students can see because he's turned away from them and is walking towards you.
"Grab your suits and hurry down to training." he tells them, "And you, nightmarish teacher, come behind me."
Your jaw drops, "Are you ridiculing me, Shouta-kun?" of course the kids wouldn't mind some drama from you too, right?
Well Shouta's fault, not mine.
"Yes. I'm surprised your pea sized brain can tell." he walks out of the class leaving you behind but not any chances for you to cause the drama until the students turn to you.
"Good luck, new sensei." one of them says, "Go turn the look in your eyes to words and he'll say yes for sure.. maybe.. "
"Hey, what the hell?" you snap your head towards this blond boy with the black lighting bolt in his hair, "Behave." but he looks too conflicted to pay attention.
"Actually, he's definitely going to reject you." he speaks up a moment later, "B-But that's because Aizawa sensei has zero romance drive, not because you're not cool or something. You're super cute— ah, nevermind."
His face buries in his hands.
You don't understand whether to coo at the kid or just laugh out loud. Aizawa peeks in from the side of the door a moment later and you decide to just escape the odd situation.
Some strict nightmarish teacher you are.
.
_______________________________________________
.
"Oh, you fucking monster." your body is sore, "This was supposed to be training for the kids, not me."
"Right?" Aizawa lazily examines the papers, "It's such a shame you're so out of shape. How good you were back when we were kids."
"Says the guy who always defeated me in the sports festivals." you frown.
"You never even tried to fight." he hums, eyes focused on the training report sheets he made the students write, "Never understood that. I do remember how mercilessly you threw Hizashi out of boundaries."
"Couldn't hurt your pretty face, you know." you shrug, heat rising to your cheeks but you play it cool, "Plus Hizashi was just annoying during sports festivals."
"His quirk is being loud, (Name)-chan." Aizawa's eyes roll over to your for a moment. You find yourself admiring how well he has matured once again, "But that being put aside, how come you're this out of shape?"
I'm not out of shape, Shouta-kun..
"I was distracted by how handsome of a man you've become." you word it in a ridiculing tone but there isn't an inch of your statement that isn't true, "Oh, the jawline, the super pull-able hair and the muscles."
Aizawa rolls his eyes.
"And the eye rolls." this comes out a lot softer and warmer. You've missed his eye rolls for so long now.
"Uh-huh?" Aizawa takes half his pile of papers and gives them to you to check promising lunch if you help him with it, "What, has being single for so long started getting to you?"
An amused giggle leaves your lips, you cuddle into the couch ignoring the papers completely, "People think you're such a nice, serious guy, Shouta-kun. Me and Hizashi know."
"Know what?" his eyes linger at the papers for a little, then on a cut on your ankle.
"That's you're such a dirty little boy." you lean towards him, "Being single has gotten to me? Oh no, babyboy, you've gotten to me."
He makes a face, you immediately dramatize gag at your words to not make him doubt your words to be true.
"You're disgusting." he tells you.
"You're disgusting too. What was the need to toss me around like that in front of the students?" you frown, "I've got cuts and bruises all up my legs."
His eyes rest on the little cut on your ankle again, "Why didn't you go see recovery girl?"
"Recovery grandma?" your eyebrow raises, "She's still here?"
"Oh she is." he drops his pen and leans back into the couch too. Aizawa is tired, he needs his coffee. It's already the time of the day when Hizashi comes in with a cup of coffee for him, Aizawa doesn't understand why he's late today.
"There isn't much that has changed." you hum, head turned up towards him while leaning against the couch, "It's just you and Hizashi."
"We've changed?" his head rolls to you.
"Physically." you say, "Plus Hizashi-kun said he's seeing someone so that has changed.. are you?"
"Am I seeing someone?" Aizawa's eyes blink lazily, irises focused into yours, "The only thing I'm seeing is papers." he pulls his boots off, "So many of them."
"Do you not take breaks?" your eyes focus on the bags under his, finger going up immediately to touch the skin, "I'm worried you'll get too stressed like this and— " you're cut off by him.
"What are you doing?"
You blink, "What?"
"What are you doing? Your hand is on my face, (Name)-chan." there's a pause as he pulls his head away, "That's.. weird."
Your lips tighten, "R-Right.. sorry."
"It's fine.. " tension fills into the air, "Just.. don't do it again."
"Sure.. " your head droops along with your expressions. It's odd hearing this— it could still be him messing around with you but he'd give you an indication then.
You feel dejected, as though he's throwing you off before you even tell him how much you'd wish to drown into him.
Should I.. ?
But how can you indirectly relay your feelings to him just to make sure he doesn't actually with to reject you if you ever do.
It may just be under the tag of friendship, but there is still warmth in Aizawa's eyes when he looks at you. You know to not classify this as just friendship.
"Ah.. " your hands cover your face, "Life is moving forward, no?"
"Obviously." his head rests back.
"I knew you as a young boy, Shouta-kun. You were nineteen when I had to leave." a smile slips up your face like butter, your tone is adoring, "You've become a man now."
"What else do you expect me to become?" he shifts to the side to get better view of you.
You roll your eyes, "You probably feel what I'm talking about too, right? I was just a little girl when you last saw me."
"It just so happens that you've not grown at all." he shrugs, "Not by brains, not by height," his eyes lower from your face for a fraction of a second but Aizawa happens to have the best control over himself, he doesn't let his expressions show this at all, "so, no. I can't tell."
You, on the other hand, are shameless. Mostly.
"If what you want to say is that my boobs and hips have grown, don't be shy, Shouta-kun." you wave your hand at him, "It's not like I don't notice when you stare."
He makes an odd expression again, then turns away.
"That's weird, (Name)-chan. It's not right, don't say stuff like that."
You blink, "Not right?"
He shifts uncomfortably, gaze flickering in the air before he gets up and walks away muttering something about you stepping over boundaries.
You frown, instantly getting up and following after him.
"What's weird, Shouta-kun? What boundaries am I stepping? Let me know at least."
He doesn't stop, neither does he reply. When you don't stop following him, Aizawa just walks into the men's bathroom.
"Bitch." you cuss under your breath, eyes getting glassier for some reason. It's odd to see such behaviour from his side.
It's already been some time since the both of you have been spending breaks together, it's a coincidentally convenient schedule.
Every single time, however, there is either one or another moment where something odd crosses over Aizawa and he wouldn't talk to you anymore.
You hate it when he does this.
You hate him not talking to you and treating you like you're just any friend.
"Oh, (L/n)-san?" Toshinori Yagi steps out of the bathroom, "How come you're standing in front of the men's bathroom?" he chuckles, "Am I getting fangirling for going to the bathroom this time?"
"O-Oh.. nevermind." you're not in right headspace to pay heed to what he has just said, "Wait.. actually, please just drag Shouta-san out, sir."
He blinks, "What?"
There's only one way to end the whirlpool of anxiety in your guts.
"Just.. please drag him out of the bathroom. He's only waiting for me to leave, I'm sure."
All Might blinks but doesn't say anything as he turns and reenters the space restricted from you.
Luckily, he manages to succeed. A tired looking Aizawa steps out and sighs, "What?"
Your eyebrows twitch in annoyance, "What do you mean what, Shouta-kun? You— come with me." you grab his arm and drag him away into the pantry of the teachers' lounge.
"What do you want, (Name)-chan?" he wouldn't look at you now.
"I want to tell you you're a bitch." you huff, "A-And.. " your lips press tight, "I.. w-want to tell you.. "
"Hurry up, I have papers to check." he's clearly looking for excuses to avoid you but you don't intend to let him get his way.
"Shouta-kun.. I.. " it's so much harder than you thought it would be, you feel like crying.
Oh fuck, just let it out.
"I just.. I've always.. " a shaky breath leaves your lips, eyes closing to avoid your eyes from popping out with how fast your heart beats, "I love you."
Absolute silence follows.
When you can't take it anymore, you shoot your eyes open only to find a look of conflict and frustration on Aizawa's face. It's spontaneous– something stops in your chest and a loud ringing fills your ears.
"You.. shouldn't have said that." Aizawa's words are the only that make way to your ears though the buzz, "That's not good. It's– we're not doing this, (Name)-chan. You.. shouldn't be doing this."
Your lips shut tight, throat too dried up to speak all of a sudden.
Aizawa inhales, his face turning away and voice low and heavy, "I don't feel the same, (Name)-chan. It's concerning you feel this way.. it's hilarious of an idea in the first place."
His words act as daggers stabbing your heart.
"And.. I don't think.. I mean, of course you know I wouldn't fall for a person like you even in my nightmares." a hollow, dry chuckle escapes his lips before his head drops to the floor with his lips pressed in a thin line.
The worse they can say is no?
A voice inside you laughs at your stupid self.
" ..Right.. " your voice barely makes it out. The tear rolling down your cheek beats it, " ..Uhm.. I-I'm just gonna go.. " your feet drag you away silently.
It's hard to walk through the teachers' lounge without breathing at all. The moment you've stepped out into the empty hallways, a deep, broken exhale brings down streams of tears.
Your legs beg to give out, chest throbbing painfully making ripples of stress travel throughout your body.
Somewhere to your side, Yamada's voice calls out to you. The next moment you know, you're running out of the school building towards the teachers' dorms.
.
"How long is he going to take today?" Shinsou's feet tap against the ground, "Sensei's here around this timegenerally."
Yamada hums, his gaze focused on the ground, "You know.. I think there might be some connection to (Name)-chan and Shouta-kun's spoilt mood recently."
Shinsou blinks, "I'm not going to act like you saying that should mean anything other than them being on bad romantic terms considering there is no other sensible interpretation to your words."
The hero nods, "Yup."
"What?"
"A few days ago, I saw her running away after crying outside the teachers' lounge. I chased after her and talked but she didn't say much. Shouta-kun was gloomy that day."
"What did he say?" Shinsou throws his mask to the side and hurries to sit in front of Yamada, "You did try to talk to him, right?"
Yamada shrugs, "He wouldn't talk. Quietly walked away. He hasn't been talking much to anyone since then."
"He wouldn't even say much in class." Shinsou's head falls to his lap, "What do you think could have happened?"
Yamada turns to the side, "I know them enough to say this, I'm sure either one confessed or proposed and the other said no."
"But Aizawa sensei– (L/n)-sensei was crying, you say?"
"Yeah." the man sighs, "Two of my best friends getting off with each other. What am I supposed to do?" the both of them share looks for a moment.
Shinsou nods, catching the signal Yamada has been trying to give him all this while, "You're right, what are you supposed to do?"
It takes a couple of days to set everything up but he manages to "coincidentally" make Aizawa and you end up together for dinner with Yamada.
Neither of the two of you are happy with this, it doesn't take a genius to figure that out.
"Sit, you both." Yamada knows you both are hiding whatever happened from him so wouldn't refuse now that you both are already only so he wouldn't know.
"So you planned dinner?" your voice lacks any emotion at all, it is hollow and low, and is addressed only to Yamada as if sarcastically commenting on his decision.
"I did." he smiles, "Hope the both of you don't mind. I realised we need to have a talk over something."
Neither you nor Aizawa look up. Over a week of avoiding him does nothing at all to ease the pain, and you don't wish to increase the weight in your chest by catching sight of his unaffected expressions.
Yamada doesn't speak up for some time, he allows the tension in the air settle to the ground until there is more of pain, guilt and longing at the table than suffocation.
"We met first in the sports festival of the first year." he begins once the waitress has left. He's hesitant to bring this up but there's no other way, "Shirakumo-kun was against (Name)-chan. She lost but was introduced into class A and shifted from class B."
"Yeah.. w-we know the story.. " you look to the side, eyes glassy and fingers fiddling with each other.
Clearly, you're not in the mood to get nostalgic.
"It was funny to see you fall for Shouta-kun while Shirakumo-kun flirted with you all day long." Yamada lets out a chuckle as Aizawa's head snaps up at you.
You, on the other hand, widen your eyes at him in shock– you'd never expected him to bring this topic up. It feels like betrayal.
Yamada inhales, then exhales deep, "Shirakumo-kun had a crush on you, you know."
"What?"
"Yeah.. " he gives you a small smile, "He did, but he noticed your feelings for Shouta-kun and then his behaviour changed. You remember when– "
___________ May, Second year at U.A. High ___________
"Hey Shouta," Shirakumo says, "It's just ice cream. Stop licking it as if it's Yamada's popsickle."
You begin giggling, drawing attention to yourself. Aizawa feels his lips twitch into a small smile, he loves it when you laugh though this isn't something he wishes you find amusing.
He composes himself immediately and turns to Shirakumo with a frown, "Don't open your dirty mouth like that in front of a girl at least. Have some shame, Shiro." but he is ignored.
"(Name)! (Name)!" Shirakumo is busy coming up with more nonsense, "Okay, I got an idea." the rest of you turn to him, while still licking all your ice creams.
"How about you give us some advice?"
"What sort of advice?" you ask and he smirks.
"We're all poor little dreaming boys who all definitely have some or the other crush on some or the other cute friends of ours, don't we, Shouta-kun?" the boy in questions freezes, "Why don't you rate us.. or give us an overview from a girls' angle? If we're in luck, it might help some oblivious idiot see through".
"That's random." you hum, "But," there is a pause, "I'll say.. Hizashi-kun is bright, awlways optimistic and loud one. You're gonna be probably.. well, charismatic, energetic and you know what, there's some girls in our class who call you husband material."
"They do?" Shirakumo is pleased, "Did you hear that, guys?"
"Go on, bitch some more about your friends, (Name)-chan." Aizawa rolls his eyes at Shirakumo's smug expression, "You're snitching on them."
"Sometimes you should take that stick up your ass out and try some fingers." you close your eyes and give Aizawa a firm nod. Shirakumo and Yamada burst out laughing.
"What about Shouta-kun, though?" Shirakumo elbows the boy and turns back to you when his laughs dies down to chuckles.
You hum, "To me, he's like.. the definition of manliness. If testosterone is something, it's him. You know what, it's not my choice at all– Shouta-kun in general looks like a sexy tsundere guy who the girl would call daddy or something, you get what I mean?"
"Boy boy, someone's all red." Shirakumo laughs at Aizawa who just grunts and looks away. You don't have the confidence to look towards his face after all you've said either.
"He'll get lots of options for wives.. only if he didn't doze of mid-wedding." you crack the OG joke and everyone other that Aizawa snorts.
"Ay, don't be too rough with him (Name)-chan." Shirakumo exaggerates scolding you, "Our sweet sugar daddy is blushing. He might just burst if you keep this up."
Aizawa turns to him instantly and mutters a "what the fuck?" under his breath.
But Shirakumo isn't the only cheeky bitch in the group.
"Come on, sweet daddy.. " you exaggerate a coo, "Don't get mad. I'm scared you'll be too rough." and as you do, you realise Shirakumo isn't lying when he says Aizawa might burst.
His ears are steaming, cheeks blood red already. You doubt he'd be able to take another tease.
"Little kitten's blushing." Shirakumo laughs, "If I were gay, I'd be totally into him. It's too sad I'm not a single girl among us four who can crush on him."
Shirakumo gets a glare from you, you're thankful Aizawa hasn't heard him well.
___________ - ___________
"Why would you suddenly bring that up today?" Aizawa understand your behaviour from back then now only now that he has been confessed to, "Things of the past should stay in the past."
"Misunderstandings of the past should stay in the past too." Yamada looks up, "Shirakumo realised (Name)-chan's interest in you too early on. He liked it, actually. He always thought you were perfect for her and the other way around."
Aizawa's expressions drop to zero at the revelation.
"Actually.. " Yamada clears his throat, "He'd always known you push your feelings for (Name)-chan down because of his crush on her."
Your head snaps up at what you've heard.
..Shouta-kun had feelings for me back then.. ?
"He'd been trying to set the both of you up for over an year already before he.. died." silence spreads at the table, "You don't need to reject your feelings for (Name)-chan anymore, Shouta-kun."
Aizawa stares hard at the table, you look between him and Yamada. Nothing seems to set properly in your brain, you don't know what's going on.
"You don't need to reject her in loyalty to our dead friend. He didn't die loving her, he died hoping the both of you would give each other a chance.. "
Aizawa doesn't know what to say, his lips part to speak but no voice leaves.
"She's not his, dude. Don't label her like that.. just.. free yourself from this burden. Shirakumo-kun didn't die loving her."
Silence prevails at the table for far too long. Yamada looks uncomfortable with this silence. He keeps on looking between your and Aizawa's fallen faces.
"Why didn't you ever tell me?" Aizawa's voice is so low it barely feels the words have left his mouth.
Yamada sighs, "I thought you knew.. " he waits for a little more time before getting up with an "enjoy dinner, you two. Talk it out." and leaves.
Neither you not Aizawa says anything for even longer– you're losing your patience now. Tears build up in your eyes.
You do understand that he needs time to digest the revelation as much as you do but the past week of heartache has barely left anything for you to stay silent with.
The only desire you have is to know how he feels about you now. That, but you don't know how you'll ever talk to him again after all he has said.
Aizawa looks up a moment later, his eyes unusually and surprisingly glassy, "I'm sorry.. " he begins, " ..for everything."
And though you did not think this could ease any of your pain, you find yourself crying into your hands a moment later. This time, he's there to calm you.
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