#and don't act like Archie was perfect

[phantom-fleetways]

Hot take:

Sonic Prime, yes even Season 3, was fantastic fun and fresh for Sonic.

And I'm NOT talking about the Sonadow. Sonadow has nothing to do with this post.

[soupbitch-moneybitch]

comprehensive list of how ofmd characters would fare if tasked with destroying the ring of power in the fires of mount doom

would be immediately corrupted by the ring:

badminton twins

prince ricky

would use the ring for evil and/or chaos for fun:

calico jack (and it would get Weird(tm) )

spanish jackie (jackie loves her some eternal power over all living creatures in middle earth)

roach (love the guy, but the chaos would be too enticing)

ned lowe (duh)

anne bonnie and mary read (sometimes you gotta spice things up. god forbid women do anything amirite)

evelyn higgs (god forbid women do anything x2)

pre-stede, peak blackbeard era ed (his heart wouldn't really be into it, but it would be expected of him, and he'd do it for the image more than anything else)

would make an attempt to get to mordor but wouldn't make it:

pirate queen zheng (has too much power already, she'd pull a boromir, or more likely, pull an aragorn and accept that she can't be the one to take it, and instead would take down saruman and lead the battle outside the black gate)

ivan (has good intentions, but is too much of a traditional pirate and would inevitably get corrupted)

the swede (he would give it the ol' college try, but would get lost, and fall into the dead marshes, or get stepped on by a tree ent or something)

ed and stede (they would try, but would 10000% lose the plot, probably as early as rivendell when they start dicking around dressing up as elves and pretending to be elven royalty, and then, through a series of wacky misadventures, would somehow end up opening an inn in the shire and being completely unaware of the fact that all the hobbits really don't love having men living among them, but they sell cheap drinks and good food, and that's all hobbits really care about so they let them stay)

wouldn't go to mordor in the first place:

lucius (um, that sounds like a LOT of walking, and he has much better things to do)

pete (would volunteer, but it would be unanimously decided that "maybe you should sit this one out, bud")

wee john (the ring is too basic and tacky and wouldn't go with his Look(tm), and also he'd prefer to stick to what he's good at: napping, sewing, and arson)

archie (would be prepared to go, but the second she gets her hands on it, she would start using it as a party trick like, "lol, look guys, i'm invisible!" and then would inevitably get murdered by ring wraiths)

could go to mordor and destroy the ring, but wouldn't:

auntie (she could definitely destroy the ring, but she's too busy making sure the red flag stays afloat, and keeping the pirate navy in check--she doesn't have time for petty concerns like "the fight between good and evil")

buttons (mad galadriel energy--would be able to refuse the ring, and this would then elevate him to the next phase of his transformation into an all-knowing, all-powerful being, who is also probably a bird)

would make it to mordor but wouldn't destroy the ring:

frenchie (he gets to the fires of mount doom only to realize he dropped the ring somewhere along the way and has no idea where it is)

mary (could make it to mordor, but the feeling of power for the first time in her life after years of being subservient in a shitty society would make the allure too strong in the end)

jim (would probably become corrupted if they were the one carrying it, but could 10000% act as a cutthroat body guard throughout the trek)

would make it mordor and would be able to destroy the ring:

oluwande (the purest of heart, perfect cinnamon roll, too pure, doesn't know how to pronounce "china"--he would never become corrupted)

doug (he would be the sam to mary's frodo, but in a very casual chill way, like "oh, you're being corrupted? no worries, babe, i got it")

is gollum:

izzy hands

my assessment is perfect and correct, but feel free to add your thoughts if you think i'm wrong (but i'm not)

[skaruresonic]

Your chat with wood reminded me, this is something that I noticed, but fans and none fans REALLY love to see Sonic get his ass kicked

Like I've noticed this from old 2000s fan stuff, they aggressively make Sonic egotistical and obnoxious, then immediately want to punk him

It's like they're aware those qualities are bad, but then misapply it to actual canon games Sonic. This includes ignoring him actually being a powerhouse. Fucker rips off metal from a military plane, and survives falling from massive heights and flung across mountains

It's ironic since his actual most obnoxious in game would be Colors Wii for boss dialogue, but that's still mild compared to Archie or fan parody (not to mention Sonic notably only is explicitly rude to villains). This also applies to char relations

They'll act like Metal is supposed to be a formiddable threat when...in canon practice, fuck no. Metal is a jobber

Because these perceptions are beyond infesting due to meme culture, none fans are incorrectly thinking "yeah he's an egotistical dick" like reg fans

So the idea of Sonic beating Shadow or Knux 1on1? They'll be pissed! Regardless of actual canon

Sidenote: remembered seeing someone be sad that "I'm Sonic, Sonic the Hedgehog" wasn't used much in 2010s, then miss the point on why. This is literally cuz there was no scenario it'd be appropriate (he doesn't meet a new neutral person besides Rookie, and that was a pressing situation of escaping)

To be fair, Sonic does suffer a lot of abuse in canon. I used to say that knocking Shadow out to advance the plot was a common plot point, but it might be fair to say that knocking Sonic out has become a series cliché at this point as well.

Usually it's done to establish the threat du jour as srs bsns. To "yes, and" that last point, the trope cannot work without the baseline assumption that Sonic is strong:

In several instances you can see Sonic wavering on the edge of unconsciousness and still struggling to stand. bro's got that fighting spirit The important part is that he always gets back up no matter what.

What an inspiring message! Unlike the Gary-Stu folks usually try to portray him as, Sonic has never been completely infallible. You don't need to be invincible; you just need to pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and keep trying.

Not to turn this into another culture war discussion, ofc, but I really feel as though folks who dismiss Games!Sonic as some perfect Gary-Stu who never suffers are dismissing the entire crux of the character.

Games!Sonic suffers all the time. He gets beaten; he has doubts; he makes mistakes. He just doesn't let setbacks get him down for long. He's an inspiration, an ideal to strive toward, rather than someone who is supposed to be #relatable.

---

They'll act like Metal is supposed to be a formiddable threat when...in canon practice, fuck no. Metal is a jobber

Kind of? Depends. Without any bells or whistles, Metal Sonic tends to blow his fuse on charged attacks and burn out pretty quickly.

He also admits he transformed his body with his own two hands because he could never seem to defeat Sonic. Sonic mocks the fact that he had to turn into a monster just to get a leg up over him:

However, he's not nearly as much of a jobber as IDW portrays him when Surge and Kit fry his circuits. There's no way that tactic should have worked; Metal is both waterproof and can be revived with large amounts of electricity.

The other half of this Spicy Meatball Take(tm) that fandom tends to struggle with is "Metal doesn't have an existential crisis, and it's illogical for him to have one if he believes himself to be the real Sonic."

Even when he's ranting in the Metal Madness and Overlord fights, his motives are fairly easy to understand as ego. He has one (1) line about no longer "being afraid," but it's so nothingburger compared to his other bluster about building a robot kingdom and lacks so much context (when, exactly, was Metal shown being afraid...?) that we can easily discard it. It's clear from the surrounding lines that Metal is just bullshitting because he's butthurt that he can never defeat Sonic. Why do you think Sonic rubs it in his face at the end of the game? lol

I'm almost convinced Iizuka imported his existential character arc from the OVA and forgot that it doesn't suit Games!Metal's character.

Metal mimicking Sonic's finger wag a grand total of once in Sonic CD (funny; never see anyone argue that Metal bullying animals mimics Sonic's mannerisms) doesn't inherently mean he believes himself to be the real Sonic. It just means Eggman programmed him to do so, for whatever reason.

Furthermore, if he genuinely believed he was the real Sonic, then he shouldn't have that much self-doubt to begin with. At least when Shadow got Sonic's goat in SA2, it was because he framed him and got the military on his ass. Shadow's interference came with concrete consequences that directly affected Sonic. What has Sonic done to threaten Metal's sense of identity, other than exist?

Why does a being that believes itself to be the "real" Sonic want to build a robot kingdom? A being that looks at itself in the mirror and says "I'm Sonic the Hedgehog" also turns around and says "Dictatorship under my robotic thumb is good, actually"?

There's also the paradox of "Why would a 'real' Sonic ever serve Eggman?" He wouldn't. Metal is bound by his programming because he's a robot. The implication that Eggman curtails his free will should further cement his status as Walking Toaster.

---

Because these perceptions are beyond infesting due to meme culture, none fans are incorrectly thinking "yeah he's an egotistical dick" like reg fans

People paint Games!Sonic as a boring Gary-Stu because his dickery isn't as pronounced as it is in Archie. Which is funny because Games!Sonic could stand to be a bit more sensitive, all things considered.

You need only look at his treatment of Knuckles in the Adventure era for proof:

Sonic parries Knuckles' "What about you?" with an insult.

Sonic sweet-talks Knuckles into searching for the keys even though he doesn't want to. Maybe because of the ghosts roaming about. They got Larry, after all.

Deeper's lyrics also suggest that Knuckles wishes Sonic were a little more considerate of his plight by having him imagine a scenario where Sonic acknowledges how important the Master Emerald is to Knuckles and offers to help him find it:

lol "wouldn't of." tfw the editors are asleep at the wheel

Note how surprised Knuckles looks here. Clearly this isn't something he expected Sonic to say. And before anyone is inclined to think Knuckles was the only one, Sonic's insensitivity would also annoy Tails and Amy on occasion:

---

So the idea of Sonic beating Shadow or Knux 1on1? They'll be pissed! Regardless of actual canon

Sonic kills demigods on a regular basis and pulled off Chaos Control so well that it surprised Shadow. Why is it a surprise that he probably could kick their asses lol.

---

Sidenote: remembered seeing someone be sad that "I'm Sonic, Sonic the Hedgehog" wasn't used much in 2010s, then miss the point on why. This is literally cuz there was no scenario it'd be appropriate (he doesn't meet a new neutral person besides Rookie, and that was a pressing situation of escaping)

tfw you complain about no "I'm Sonic, Sonic the Hedgehog" when "long time no see" is right there

[cartoon-buffoon]

Sonic X Shadow generations came out and cool but just as I expected I am beyond disappointed with the inclusion of metal overlord because it feels like fan service that somehow manages to slap the fans of metal sonic in the face at same fucking time. Now my main gripe with the fight in general is it's inclusion because ultimately—NO MATTER WHAT SHADOW IS NOT GETTING NOWHERE NEAR TO BEAT METAL, THE RED AND BLACK AND BOZO WOULD GET KILLED THE SECOND HE TRIED TO 1V1 M-OVERLORD!

This is gonna turn into a VERY LONG ramble of why I love metal more than anything however if you wish to indulge the words of a lunatic who loves a fictional metal anthropomorphic hedgehog then bear with me because this makes me IRRATIONALLY MAD! I have no reason to be this worked up yet I still am, shut up I'm allowed to be stupidly passionate about this. Also I would like to note the criticism that I have is gonna be located at the VERY END OF THIS (gonna reiterate) VERY LONG RANT and the criticism I have is gonna disappoint but I don't care and ultimately you should take my words with an ounce of salt because I'm a stupid cartoon yelling on a soap box here and if this nonsensical blame my ADHD.

Anyways disclaimer done: my main gripe with the fight as stated is it's inclusion because of the premise of what Metal Overlord is. Metal Overlord is the final form of Neo Metal Sonic which is Metal Sonic that was upgraded to the point he gained a voice and intelligence enough to know he did not need Eggman. With an understanding of his new powers and the ultimate goal of killing sonic to be the one true sonic (his metal empire plan was 100% second place to killing sonic lmao) he threw his own creator in a closet, locked him in there, and then proceeded to lead the sonic heroes on wild goose chases just to collect their bio data to perfect himself which—his perfection is the Metal Overlord form. That's at least what Metal Overlord is in a really quick summary that can be taken with only a quick look at what it is but the reason for metal doing all this ultimately stems from character development that kind of just happens off screen? Like I know there's Archie and the OVA which is forever gonna be the best sonic movie in terms of both plot and animation because holy fuck it is peak (go watch the Sonic OVA it's free on YT and it will help you understand why metal is such a great character) but ultimately his appearance in the comic and the OVA in general is non-canon to the mainline games and exists as side media. Metal's first appearance and really main appearance outside of heroes is Sonic CD which he acts as Sonic's first proper fake, look alike rival who stems to destroy him and help Eggman.

Metal naturally loses the race he challenged Sonic too and from there he moves onto his second appearance which is in Knuckles Chaotix where—I don't even know if that game is canon because it is a spinoff that DOES connect to CD because Metal Sonic's appearance as the villain of the game is if I remember correctly supposed to be after his loss in CD but it's never referenced or talked about like, ever? Anyways—Metal Sonic does appear in that game and he fights Knuckles and the Chaotix (and Mighty + 2 robots who presumably just die as their never referenced again) yet he still once again loses even after obtaining a pretty cool powerful form called Metal Sonic KAI. From there the events of Mania happen which we don't really know where it does because Mania IS CANON but on the classic timeline with superstars it's kind of messy, but it definitely does come sometime after Knuckles Chaotix because in Sonic mania metal gets his giga form which is directly based on his KAI form from Chaotix although his giga form is a sort of perfected version it using the Phantom Ruby. In any case his appearance in mania isn't as important as the series of short animated episodes called the "Sonic Mania Adventures" that were made because metal is in them and it gives us a clear idea of Metal's hatred for losing.

In the shorts Metal plays as a helper to Eggman as per usual with his main goal being to help the doctor track down the chaos emeralds, very standard setup. Once Sonic, Tails, Mighty and Ray arrive to get the two emeralds back from Metal and to stop Eggman from getting them all this turns out to be just one big trap and we see Metal use the power of the chaos emeralds to go "super" (not proper super like Mecha MK. 2 does but he does get a yellow aura) and single handily hold off Sonic, Tails, Ray, AND MIGHTY WHO IS STUPIDLY STRONG! Like Mighty iirc is stronger than Knuckles but he is more of a pacifist who prefers not to actually get into fights but is still more than capable of crazy feats of strength. The only reason why Metal loses is his systems were hacked by Tails who freezes him, knocks the emeralds outta him, and then once Metal tries to recover by harassing the master emerald power he gets suprise attacked by Knuckles stopping him before he could do that. From there we get a very sweet animation where we see Metal at first abandoned by Eggman although through Amy's help he reunites with his creator who manages to accept him back—however a small detail many misinterpret/don't catch is the start of Metal's tragedy and what I believe is the turning point for him.

In the 6th and final Sonic Mania Adventures short which takes place after the first 5 installments Eggman throws a temper tantrum after his defeat that takes place in the aforementioned previous 5 episodes. In this temper tantrum Eggman kicks Metal once out of frustration because he is an egotist and can't accept defeat thus naturally blaming the ineptitude of the things HE creates. Now after the first kick Eggman doubles down and kicks Metal more forceful the second time around, however I believe this kick wasn't out of anger and moreso as motivation and a way to say "get up! We have to go rebuild and come up with a new plan"

Now this doesn't work and Metal goes back to lying face down in the dirt, and I see a few people misinterpret this entire thing as Eggman getting mad at Metal and leaving him behind which is—in my firm belief—NOT the case! As evidence by Eggman's next expression once Metal goes limp he seems thoroughly surprised and only then does he get angered and storm off, almost wishing that Metal DID get up but he has no time for the angst of a creation who's not even old enough to be considered a teenager.

Now there is of course the argument to be made Metal was too damaged to get up and walk and Eggman didn't wish to bother with his creation which ya know, does effectively mean he abandoned him. However considering he does repeatedly move his head and DOES move his joints/body like when Amy saves him where he's on his hands and knees before getting knocked back down it does seem like Metal isn't damaged beyond the point of moving but it's moreso he doesn't care (that first kick probably did become engraved into Metal's memory and was probably a key factor into Eggman getting thrown into a closet in heroes though lmao). In any case it seems both by Eggman's reaction and the display of Metal moving that Metal simply lost all hope and fell into a sort of robotic depression. Only once did Amy physically drag him to Eggman's base did Metal finally go back to his creator, although once again if the context clues point to metal once again be PERFECTLY CAPABLE of movement then metal could at ANY POINT WALKED/FLEW BACK, but he didn't. He didn't go back because that defeat right there was what broke the camel's back, after the repeated loss after loss did metal finally be able to take no more and accepted his defeat. Cold, alone, and partially broken he remained there with nothing to do other than look through his memories because nothing points to Metal going into a sleep mode so we're sort of led to believe metal was turned on for that ENTIRE duration of time when he was in the dirt. And what does Metal's memories consist of? Oh that's right it's practically only filled with the repeated times he lost by the hands of someone who he deems inferior to the point he believes himself to be the superior version. I feel like this is the moment where the true bitterness brew, his choice of words as Metal Overlord demonstrates just how much Metal despises Sonic.:"Long time no see, Sonic, my loathsome copy!" Is a line that I always felt like so much power because Metal doesn't hate sonic, he LOATHES him. What was simple hatred grew into something so much more because reminder Metal's entire purpose is to beat Sonic and kill him yet never being able to do that ultimately lead to something more than just him merely serving his purpose, no, Metal's feelings towards Sonic turned personal.

Also really quick Metal does appear in sonic adventure which is after the classic era. He is playable in the DX version but he has no proper story and is merely a fun reward you get for getting all the medals, but his main appearance even in the OG version is in this vat in the egg carrier. It's possible Metal is still turned on during this considering his eyelights ARE on meaning he still could be thinking but there's no evidence to support he's awake or in stasis and because this model is ripped directly from SA2 battle which ya know, has him turned on. Still something neat to note but probably not important.

Anyways with all that being said the mania adventure shorts is something we got in this modern era to provide some lore on Metal Sonic and just some neat filler stuff that adds world building. Back then there was no little extra bit of talk or content regarding the canon game material with Metal as a character but stuff is still implied with all the dialogue written in Sonic Heroes where we see Metal in his ULTIMATE FORM. With his new Neo form Metal gains the power to copy the biological data of whatever life form he can thoroughly assess and he uses this power to scan everyone's data as well as the biological data of the primordial god of chaos which is in the form of Froggy who holds Chaos' tail and Chocolate which is a chao which are kin/apart of Chaos or at least the master emerald. Once with all the data in tow he transforms into Metal Overlord which is not only the pinnacle of Eggman's hubris but also a manmade god capable of adapting to whatever is thrown at it and becoming stronger. It's a learning machine that simply gets smarter and stronger the more you throw at it until it gets the power to best you with it now able to copy what you threw at it. It is such a threat that once Eggman sees this he truly realizes that he was Icarus who flew too close to the sun and is paying for it in the form of his creation which power far outclasses that of the chaos emeralds. As said by doctor Eggman himself who is known to be a man full of ego and pride he still understands how truly fucked they all are upon seeing Neo Metal transform with him saying "it's useless! Metal Sonic has combined your data with the power of chaos and super strong! We can't defeat it!" Even when he groans about the singular possible chance of being able to fight Metal with all the 7 chaos emeralds upon seeing them he doubles down on Metal Overlord's power by saying "even with the emerald's power our chances for victory are slim! It would take a miracle!"

Eggman himself makes the clear statement of even with the power of all 7 emeralds and the capability of 3 users of the power of super the odds are SLIM and dawg says it would take a god damn MIRACLE if they wanna win. Not to mention he says this with the most genuine fear ever because as I remarked before, my man is regretting the time he kicked metal and probably real quick turned from a man of science to one of religion and started praying to Gaia that he doesn't go to the Sonic universe's version of hell. Bottom line is Metal Sonic is ridiculously powerful and team Rose, team Chaotix, and team Dark which includes Shadow—AND FINALLY GETTING BACK TO WHAT THIS RANT STARTED OFF AS— can't do anything but hold him off while Sonic, Tails and Knuckles charge up. With all 3 teams attacking Metal Overlord doesn't really falter as all they're doing is catching him mid-transformation and simply fighting to buy time because as Metal states himself "You all are useless now that I copied your data!" And even Shadow understands this because after holding him off with Team Dark Shadow says "Sonic! We're counting on you!" Because he too registers that if Sonic, Tails, and Knux don't pull it off they are all totally fucked. Oh this is also not mentioning that after the 3 teams held him off Team Sonic could only hurt Metal in his overlord with team blast which was 3 people hyped up on chaos juice jumping him all at once! I don't need to go on with just how powerful overlord is as a transformation yet this is all a prerequisite to understand SHADOW IS NOT FUCKING TOUCHING METAL OVERLORD NO MATTER THE UNIVERSE OR WHAT NEW POWERS HE GETS!

Metal ultimately is better than Sonic but somehow can never come out on top. Despite being faster he still somehow loses races to his "loathsome copy". Metal is a cold calculating robot who can analyze whatever is being thrown at him and adapt even if not in his Neo form we see in the mania shorts without the chaos emeralds supping him up he goes for the master emerald trying to improvise and fight on the fly. Unlike Sonic who bleeds and will eventually fall to time and age Metal won't, metal will stay constant in his prime only ever getting stronger with each encounter and fight he's in with Sonic but in the end he will still lose. With his jet propulsion system and overdrive attack Metal is easily capable of out speeding Sonic, beating him at what he does best and being faster than the fastest thing alive, but his greatest strength is also his greatest weakness. While it's true Metal is faster than the fastest thing alive ultimately that's what makes him inferior, his lack of life and a soul with the capability of only doing what he has ever known. Even when betraying his creator and getting free will he doesn't for a second stop his goal of being the one and only Sonic, in the process LITERALLY turning himself into a monster (which he acknowledges) but that doesn't stop him from trying and leads to his defeat.

AND THEN WE GOT SONIC X SHADOW GENERATIONS WHERE THIS RED SON OF A BITCH COMES OUTTA NOWHERE AND BEATS HIM IN A 1 v 1!

get the fuck out with this SHADOW FAVORITISM BULLSHIT SEGA! Do not fucking tarnish Metal's character by giving Shadow the ability to suddenly face him! Like I'm gonna go as far to say FUCKING BASE METAL outclasses Shadow because Metal is still capable of evenly matching what Sonic can output to the end, he's Sonic's lesser by a tiny margin and the idea that Shadow—WHO IS NOT STRONGER THAN SONIC MIND YOU—can magically fight the form that can be implied is stronger than fucking chaos is laughable and bullshit. So much bullshit in fact that I could create a healthy and thriving fucking garden in my front yard which is more dead and lacking of nutrients than the Sahara fucking desert's land! That's how much bullshit there is! Oh but of course the people who love riding that hedgehog's hog will go and say "um shadow also has a soul so wouldn't he be able to beat metal?" And my response is: IT WASN'T JUST SONIC'S SOUL THAT WON HIM THE METAL OVERLORD FIGHT! Sonic would of died there if not for Knuckles and Tails who are A KEY PART OF SONIC'S CHARACTER! The use of only using team blast to fight Metal is more than simply a game mechanic to prolong the Metal Overlord fight, it's also a key display of who Sonic is as a character and his development. Sonic had grown from a lone wolf character who was as free as the wind to now a complete extrovert who cherishes his friends and allies with his life, it's his friends who truly make him who he is because it's the power of friendship, their words, and the knowledge that their all counting on him that helps him press on, and having two of his closest friends fighting right by his side is just the push he needs to give it his all. That sounds cheesy as fuck but Sonic has always been a cheesy franchise and character, what's a chili dog without some cheese on top huh!?

Now with all of THAT being I'm sure a few people will ask "okay smartass would you prefer metal overlord to be totally forgotten and not included at all?" And to that I say: kinda yeah. But if you're looking for genuine criticism of mine then I do have one: remove Metal Overlord's wings and make him the imperfect overlord as seen here↓

... That's it. That's truly it, my one complaint and my correction.

"did you really write an essay as to why you hate this boss fight only to give the smallest design correction and nitpi—" I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF THIS IS A NITPICK THIS MATTERS! Metal has always been my favorite character and it's made VERY CLEAR his perfected overlord form is one of the most terrifying and potentially powerful things in the verse and I'm not gonna have all the character and depth behind it GO TO HELL FOR THE SAKE OF FAN SERVICE! It's not fan service, it's a fucking fan DISSERVICE! It's such a little change and would of been SO FUCKING EASY, they could of made Metal simply levitate or some shit with several jet engines as to make it different and diverse from the original Metal Overlord fight. This would also make sense because shadow did NOT fight perfect Overlord and instead fought imperfect Overlord when he was still connected to the egg carrier and properly processing things and powering up. Like did they forget that or did they just truly not give a fuck and decide to disregard the deep complex story behind as to why Metal Sonic is a giant monster because the design change isn't too drastic but even the untrained eye can see THE ONE ON THE LEFT AND RIGHT ARE TWO DIFFERENT VERSIONS!

Like I made this entire fucking thing for this simple complaint which one may call childish which granted is kind of fucking childish but I don't fucking care anymore because I will NOT STAND FOR METAL SLANDER NO LONGER! I've seen people suddenly thinking Metal Overlord is some bitch ass transformation that shadow can single handily take down which is NOT the case and the implication that he could is dumb! I don't give a fuck if it's the year of Shadow Metal is one of the longest standing villains right next to Eggman and he gets fucking cucked for this red streak, speeds by, weaker than Sonic fucker who ISN'T EVEN THE FUCKING ULTIMATE LIFEFORM BECAUSE MAY I REMIND YOU SHADOW HIMSELF SAID SONIC MAY BE THE TRUE ULTIMATE LIFEFORM WHICH WOULD OF BEEN THEMATICALLY FITTING AND WOULD TAKE AWAY NOTHING IF SHADOW LOST THAT TITLE!

"are you just bitching about Shadow now?"

yes the fuck I am because this pisses me off to no end. I've GENUINELY got a headache as I'm writing this because Metal Overlord's inclusion irritates me beyond belief. Whatever you get my point, ramble over and Toon out I'm fucking tired

[egg-emperor]

"I just don't like when people see them as one in the same"

Oh that's absolutely an understandable problem. Like Jimbotnik is a great re-interpetation of Eggman and what went on in 3 works for him, but its not really something that Game!Eggman suffered from so much as "why the hell do my parents all care about a dead girl?" which pretty much just shows his self centered attitude in a worse light. Like I get they're the same character, but they're written with enough differences for their respective mediums (its part of the why Stone would NEVER work in the games canon or comics but works perfectly for the films).

Hell I wouldn't even say this is a problem limited to Jimbotnik, people have done this shit with Boom!Eggman and Archie!Robotnik even though one is the most lighthearted while the other is detestable even by Eggman standards and is more machine than human at that point. Sorry if this sounds like yapping I just wanted to bring this point up because you're right on this.

Yeah I feel it should be pretty simple, everything would be better and much more peaceful if everyone was on the same page of understanding the adaptions are very different from the games and we're free to have our opinions on whether we like that or not. But discussion gets too often convoluted by people acting like they're one in the same and making it so much more complicated than it needs to be

Like I spend way too much of my time talking about adaptions having to say the games are much different and relay the facts, even though it should be obvious and if it was, we could talk more about the actual contents and differences between both versions and the things we like and dislike about them. But it's hard to get anywhere with that when people are saying they're literally the same

But yeah I can kinda believe all the stuff in movie 3 was consistent within the movieverse. But the stuff about his childhood has lead to those who can't separate and see the differences between the movie and game characterizations to think it applies to game Eggman too and that's my gripe. It's not really saying anything about what I think about the movies compared to certain parts of the fandom

Because it's such a stark opposite instead that it harms perception and discussion of his game character to see them as the same. Game Eggman has always been very secure and genuinely believed he deserves all the love and attention to the point of being like "ugh why is everyone always talking about my terminally ill child cousion who tragically died? hellooo, I'm right here being brilliant and perfect and worthy of your praise so give it to me"

And that's very compelling for game Eggman and I really like what it says about him, just how deep his narcissistic egotism and entitlment goes, and how genuine and long term it is for him and is such a strong motivator to accomplish his goals and the reason they exist in the first place, to make everyone recognize the brilliance he knows he has and hail him for it. While jimbotnik has his very different ways others like and find interesting too

And yeah this doesn't just happen when it comes to the movies compared to the games, it happens with every other adaption despite them all being very different from the games too so I'm always sure to discuss it there and emphasize that too. My main focus and priority every time is just to help people understand game Eggman's differences and why he's so cool and loveable for it, whether you also like his other portrayals in other adaptions or not

[the-ranting-blog-for-izzy]

Aight I'ma try to put together a comprehensible rant of the entire lore of my pizza tower blog/Crystal pizza tower au (including the stuff that hasn't happened)oh to explain this a bit more easily I'm going to be putting it in two sections, section 1 will hold full explanations of each character and section 2 will include the arcs

I'mma start by doing just one character at a time, this one is going to be for PizzaHead/Totino

TW ABUSE, DARK MAGIC, AND DEPRESSION. (THERE MAY BE OTHER STUFF THAT I MISSED)

PizzaHead's charter explanation:

BackStory: So as we all know Totino used to live in a circus, but what none of you know is Tina was actually a homunculus created with a mixture of alchemy and dark magic~ (more on this topic later on) for now let's stay on the circus topic! Now let's just say his life in the circus wasn't exactly.... Friendly, in fact it was extremely abusive! In fact Totino would often get tased when he failed an act, the same went for his sister Archie, but this thing is Totino remember his life at the circus is perfect bliss, with NO abuse happening at all. "why is that?" I hear you asking, well the thing is whilst in the circus his traitor has a dark spell onto the entirety of the circus members, leaving them to only experience this perfect fake bliss that the creater manufactured for them so they wouldn't fight back.... Now let's skip forward until both Totino and Archie are 14 (this is when the circus burnt down) The twins mom said that they could light the fireworks that night, Totino exactly right off to the box where they are kept all the fireworks a lighter in hand, now since neither of the twins knew how to safely light fireworks so Totino and I'm lighting the firework in his hand inside of the tent, this as you can imagine, led to a lot of chaos.... This fire killed everybody but four people, Totino, Totino's mom, Totino's creator, and his auntie. Now let's skip to about a week later, Totino and Archie has been on the run, trying to find a place to safely stay at. They ended finding a under ground basement (Totino later as a adult would build the tower over this basement!) Now thankfully there ended up being a medibox in this basement (the reason they needed this is because Archie got severely injured by the fire) but unfortunately to Tina was too late, the infection that Archie had was too strong in she ended up dying in Totino's arms.... No this loss of his sister permanently harmed Totino mentally, it left his brocken, no, shattered. Lets skip to how this effects him in present times, over the many many years that Tino has lives the loss of his sister is still haunted into the point where you gave him crippling depression, made it where he could barely care for himself for the tower that he had built, so he built a robot (Digi/PizzaFace) to help care for the tower and to help make sure that he cared for himself. He went on for many years like this until that he ended up becoming fed up with being so fucking sad, he decide that he needs some human reaction to distract him from his morning, so he opened up the ask blog! Now this did legitimately help, a little... Unfortunately since you don't want to be all sad and mopey around people he ended up becoming a separate persona, a happy-go-lucky version of himself that he used to ignore his problems, but unfortunately his problems were too much for him to ignore would like to him gaining incredible amounts of anxiety making it hard for him to keep hiding his problems, at least untill he met random l, or more like when random met him. His love with random I give him something here and experience for many many years, Joy, pure joy. It also get from one other thing, hope, the hope that maybe he could get past his past, but since he was still using his persona to hide his problems he couldn't fully get past it all, if fact he couldn't get it past it at all, slowly waiting time to become back to how we used to be, depressed and tired (Random, this is in fact what you're currently witnessing inside of the Ask Blog! Which is also why Digi ask you to go help him as you're currently one of the only people who could really help him out of this hell hole....)

Now let's do something a little simpler, I'ma start using a bit of the format that I used to explain my OCS! To help explain Totino's character a bit more to people who haven't been in the blog.

Design details:

Adult ⬇️ Kid ⬇️

Okie let's start what's the kiddo since there's only one thing that I want to point out, reason his eyes are blue and pink like the usually ours cuz that's when he was under the dark magic spell the crater set him under!

Okie now let's do adult Tino's design! The the first one is what he looks like when he is fully dressed/ using his fake persona, he wears gloves to hi the fact that he has paw beans and uses makeup to hide all of his (are there brown or green but I haven't decided on a color yet) scales. He also uses a LOT of hair gel to smoothen down his fur and to make it look like he has a pizza crust thank you by specifically doing his hair. He uses quite a lot of makeup to hide all of his scales, but he also uses to make up to hide his raccoon mask pattern that he has around his eyes! Oh and instead of normal for he has rabbit paws :3 (you can see all these extra details in the secondary adult photo)

Personality: silly, goofy, fake, sad, depressed, gullible, dreamer, hopeless romantic, easily embarrassed, surprisingly romantic, good to romance, smart, thanks a little too literally sometimes, smarts before self care and personality, very science'sy, not city smart AT ALL, scared of people, and introverted.

Extra Info: him and random ( @random-obsseser) are both together as lovers! (I'm the number one fan btw :3) Totino's number one wish is to bring back his sister, his second one is to be human (he hates his current form...) his creator used three bits of animal DNA when creating him, Raccoon, Rabbit, and Dragon! He in fact does chitter like a raccoon when he wants something, need something, or is feeling a strong emotion (specifically fear, anger and sadness) he purrs when he's happy. He considers every single clone/creation that he has made to be his children of sorts (yes in this au he still creates cheese slimes and clones!). He has about a billion dollars to his name, but he uses all of his money to continue making the tower better and not for himself most of the time. You can in fact distract him with shiny objects or a laser pointer. He has a giant duck plush named Francois. He has a pet dog (one of his own creations) named Bibi! She looks like this ⬇️

Aight that's all :]

(I can't wait to share these goobers with the world EEEEEE!!!)

@mrfellsans @random-obsseser @chaotichyperfixations @cutechan555

[randomthefox]

https://www.tumblr.com/randomthefox/769671842195750912/why-do-you-hate-everything-but-the-games

Would it kill you to be just a little more open-minded?

I can get behind you hating on SatAM, Archie and IDW and your claims that the people behind them have no respect for the source material, because it IS true.

But to generalize SONIC X and the SONIC MOVIES in that same category is just WRONG.

Sonic X is arguably the most faithful adaptation of the Sonic games we’ve EVER gotten! The people behind it most definitely DID NOT think the games are inferior like Archie and IDW did! It was made with Sonic Team’s HEAVY involvement, and even one of Sonic’s founding fathers, Yuji Naka himself, was a producer! One of the writers for X, Kiyoko Yoshimura, has even written for the GAMES, namely Sonic 06 and Unleashed! In fact, Sonic X is one of the most pivotal pieces of Sonic media to ever come out of the franchise, as it served to flesh out/establish many fundamental elements that are still relevant today, namely character traits and dynamics. Remember that scene in 06 when Shadow took off his Inhibitor Rings to give himself a power boost? That concept actually originated from Sonic X, and was later integrated into the games! You’d know that if you actually bothered to do your research on X like you do for all things Ian Flynn.

As for the Sonic movies, while they’re a bit more of a loose adaptation, they’re FAR better than you and people like you give them credit for. These movies have been praised by both critics and Sonic fans alike for a reason, and it’s because they managed to appeal to both casual audiences and fans of the games alike. They’re not perfect, yes, but they are NOT just soulless Hollywood cash-grabs. The people behind them are FANS of the games. Director Jeff Fowler and writer Pat Casey have stated in numerous interviews that they grew up playing the Sonic games, and Fowler himself has even WORKED on one of them, on Shadow the Hedgehog! Jim Carrey himself has stated he took the role of Eggman because his daughter and her children love the games! Hell, TYSON HESSE HIMSELF IS THE PRODUCER! And it’s thanks to him that they managed to incorporate more and more game elements into each film!

But given the way you talk about them, you’ve obviously never even given them a shot.

I know your opinion is yours and I can’t change it. It’s perfectly fine if you say you don’t like Sonic X or the movies or say they aren’t your ideal Sonic adaptation. But proclaiming your subjective views on them as facts is wrong, and makes you sound completely arrogant.

You always do your research and show evidence when talking about Ian Flynn’s comics. But you refuse to do the same for Sonic X or the movies. You just spout out your opinions on them as if they’re factually correct which they aren’t always.

Learn to act maturely and get off your high horse. No need to act like an asshole

I always love when someone New discovers me and sends me a message like this as if I haven't heard it a thousand times. And now I need to respond by basically summarizing my over ten years of posting history talking about the Sonic franchise.

Sonic X is NOT faithful AT ALL. It is JUST as much of an In Name Only adaptation as SatAM and Archie and the IDW comics and the movies. The fact it is the most superficially similar looking to the games doesn't make it BETTER than the others, because the substance is still as far removed from the games as you can possibly get. The utter butchering of the storylines from the video games that the anime did serve to demonstrate this. Especially the fucking Sonic Battle one and what they did to my boy Emerl, Jesus christ.

I don't care what is on the creators resume, I care what is on the screen of the final product. And the final product is Not The Video Games. If the creators of these adaptations liked the video games, then why didn't they faithfully and accurately depict what is in the video games? The changes and ruination and butcherings Sonic X made to the franchise, setting, and characters can not simply be explained by necessary adjustments that need to be made when translating an interactive medium to a non interactive one. They can ONLY be explained by the creators thinking that the content of the video games did not warrant or deserve faithful adaptation. Either they thought what was in the video games was not worth preserving, or they thought they could do better. Either way, the fact that what is in the video games and what is in that show are two different things tells me everything I need to know about the mentality that went into its creation.

And I don't even know why you're bringing up the movies because you're not even trying to pretend that they're authentic to the video games. Your argument for the movies is essentially "yeah well they're popular and lots of people like them, so shut up!" An appeal to popularity is not a compelling argument. If all the people who like the Sonic movie wanted to go jump off a bridge, would you join them? Everyone is doing it after all! You wanna be part of the herd, don't you? Quick go jump off a bridge so you can be like everyone else! "If everyone likes the movies that must mean they're good actually and you're not allowed to complain about them! Even though your complaint is that they're In Name Only adaptations, which I am not refuting - but they're popular! So shut up!"

Sonic X and the Sonic Movies are NOT faithful accurate authentic depictions of the contents of the Sonic video games into their respective mediums. Sonic X and the Sonic Movies make wild changes and alterations to the characters, setting, and narratives, taking only mild inspiration from the games at best and mostly making up whatever they want in terms of plots characterization and world building. These ARE facts. You cannot argue against them. And for these FACTUAL reasons, I put Sonic X and the movies in the same trash can as all the rest. They are no more Sonic the Hedgehog than SatAM the Archie comics IDW comics or Sonic Prime are. They are all the same because they're all NOT Sonic.

And I like Sonic. Therefore, I do not like them. Because I like Sonic. And they're not Sonic.

Simple enough for you?

[firemenenthusiast]

lol this is random but Archie or whoever is in charge needs to HURRY the hell up with that Lurker movie. like im glad that he's relaxing and having fun n all that but my god it's taking FOREVERRRR. I don't want to sound like entitled or anything but there's barely been any anything else about the movie, not even crumbs really, well I know he was in his pink hair era and the video of him on the stage (i think it was for a scene but idk don't take my word lol) but it wasn't for that long. like did we ever even get any details about what it would be about besides that my girl Havana was in it??? idk I just need more new Archie characters to get obsessed with and occupy my headspace 😭😭😭, and hopefully this time he'll get his flowers because the salt burn era did NOT give him attention he deserved. like Archie did not act out Farleigh in such a amazing and interesting way for the both of them to be overlooked. but then again i don't think salt burn got enough attention either, like in the sense that it felt like everyone stopped talking about it in a few months 🥲. it still surprises me that Farleigh didn't get popular enough on tiktok and Tumblr (a little bit) because I would think he's THE ideal character that people would fawn and thirst over while simultaneously psychoanalyzing him 🤷🏾‍♀️

BRO I KNOW RIGHT ??? i dont know how long they’re gonna make us wait but it sure feels like FOREVER since it wrapped. and i dont think the shooting took that much time for it to take THIS long to come out ? like i already am so ready to write for oliver the singer and IM SOOOO READY for lurker in general.

also yeah saltburn had its 5 seconds of fame and thats IT. now people barely talk about it and some even have forgotten about it 😭 and omg yes archie potrayed farleigh so well i have to keep reminding myself that he’s a character and not a real person. also people were too focused on the surface level scenes like the bathtub scene and the graveyard scene. farleigh had his favourite side character moment but imo it should’ve gone for atleast longer than it had.

farleigh is the perfect side character that i would fall head over heels for just like how i do with other side characters from other shows. i think its because he only had like 5mins of screentime that people overlooked him and people focused on jacob elordi more. but yk its more common for people to obsess over the main character especially a conveniently attractive one at that. farleigh was complex and had depth and i guess people didnt favor that as much. anyways i do think that its also because saltburn came out at the wrong time. if only it came out in summer i think it would’ve gotten the recognition it deserves and most importantly i want people to appreciate archie’s work in it more than they do now. i want him receiving AWARDS. dont get me started on how there was a strike when his biggest main character movie came out. i could only imagine how frustrating that must’ve been.

tbh i think archie’s not one to really chase after the typical hollywood recognition. he just wants to do what he loves, enjoy what he’s doing and live a good life. i also think that he has great self respect so you wont catch him doing anything and everything just to be recognized. eventho i dont know him personally, i do think he looks a bit exhausted and i hope he’s resting well rn. as much as i want more projects featuring him, i want him to be happy. we can still talk about him all the time on here and i’ll keep writing for him 😜

[ourladyofmaplemurder]

Emily: Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it?--every, every minute?

Stage Manager: No.

Pause

The saints and poets, maybe--they do some.

I'm working on an essay about Riverdale now that the finale is out...but I'd like to say a few things now.

Namely, I'd like to talk about the fact that Riverdale ending with a homage to Our Town is so painfully fitting. So, unbearably fitting.

Our Town is a story, much like Riverdale, about a town. It doesn't have the fun twists and turns, for sure, but it is about the lives of the people living in Grover's Corners. It's a love letter to simple, American living.

(And I do say "American" because Our Town is quintessentially American.)

The first time I saw Our Town, I was 14 maybe. I found it incredibly boring. It was slow with tons of boring details about people and their simple lives. I really didn't get it.

It wasn't until, years later, I was in a production of it. A very lovely production. After 55 performances, I still didn't understand it. I don't think you can that young, but I started to.

Today, I still don't understand it, but I think I'm a step closer. You really can't, I think, understand life while you're in the midst of it. As Emily says in the final act:

"They're sort of shut up in little boxes, aren't they?"

We are. We can't help it. None of us can. We're all moving too damn fast in our little lives to be anything more than troubled from sun up to sun down. We strain so much in our little lives that we have to lie down and rest every night. We can never look at everything hard enough.

In any case, Riverdale culminating in an homage to Our Town just makes so much sense. The show has mentioned the play several times over the years, for starters, but it's more than that.

It's the button on a lengthy, 137-episode conversation about American culture and the nature of life itself. Exposing the dark underbelly. Celebrating the triumphs. Life is the trauma and the healing. The epic highs and lows of high school football, of course…but life is also incredibly boring. Peace is boring. At least, it can seem so when you’re not ready for it. If you’re still fighting and eager to do so, peace feels flat and horrible.

But, for these characters, this story, that has struggled and bled for 7 long seasons, I think a peaceful ending is well-earned. I walk away deeply satisfied.

I’ll leave you with one more thing. (Again, I’m still working on a bigger essay that will be more organized.)

 Riverdale is deeply haunted by its own past as much as the characters are.

It’s haunted by the Archie comics, by its own previous seasons, by Archie’s Weird Fantasy, etc. I think Riverdale ending on a peaceful, sentimental note is really beautiful.

It feels like Emily in the graveyard in act 3, learning to let go, and joining the other ghosts on the hill. We look back and remember. We grieve it and love it in kind. We live and we die. It’s all so small and yet, immeasurably huge like a starry night sky. We wish we could stay forever, but we know we can’t.

The first 6 seasons fought and bled so hard. The seventh season was a gradual slowing than settled into peace.

I could say a lot more about how healing and finding peace are not as exciting as people might like. I’m sure I will in time.

Riverdale was not a perfect show, but nothing is. I would have done things differently, but so would we all in a commentary on life.

I’m happy though.

We all have to go through our lives to appreciate them. That’s the joke. That’s the tragedy. That’s the truth. Happy/sad endings are the best, aren’t they?

Yeah. Because they’re real. They’re life.

And I can’t believe a silly little CW show handed me something so profound like that. Riverdale, I can’t believe you. You lovable scamp. You sneaky bastard. 

I can’t believe a goofy Archie fanfiction had the nerve, the audacity to say something so heartbreakingly and beautifully true.

“To look life in the face. To look life in the face and to know it, and then, to put it away.” - The Hours

I’m sorry this was so disjointed. I love you all, everything.

Unrelated Notes:

-It's a love letter to American cinema and theatre, which I think is covered under "culture", but I wanted to point that out specifically.

-The final season, more than any of them, is about American theatre and poetry. Death of a Salesman. The Crucible. Howl. Langston Hughes. Our Town. (And dozens of others.)

-The only way I can categorize Riverdale, truly, is as Americana Gothic.

-I think it makes sense to return to classic Americana in the final stretch. We've riffed on horror and thrillers. Soap operas and hell, even modern marvel movies. Returning to the Golden Age for one final look, where Archie itself began, truly feels full-circle.

-Cheryl let go of her grief. She left Thornhill. She built a family. She loved and was loved. God, that makes me so immeasurably happy.

She’s doing a puzzle in the Pop’s Choklit shop in the sky right now. I wish I could tell the Cheryl of 1x13 that.

“You are loved. You are safe. You’re going to be ok.”

Ah, but she wouldn’t understand just as my younger self wouldn’t understand my silly, peaceful life now. They would both scoff and roll their eyes at me. That’s ok though. They’ll figure it out.

[mysteriesofmarcy]

#2: Battle of the Bands

I'm looking back at the blog and realizing we never completed Top Ten Tuesday! So since today is Tuesday, we're picking up where we left off.

The idea of a one-off fun episode sandwiched in between plot episodes at the end of the season can be a drag if done wrong (Gravity Falls - Roadside Attraction), but in this case (The Dinner / Battle of the Bands) it works.

In this pair of episodes we get a glimpse of what the home life of Anne, Sasha and Marcy might have been like prior to their involuntary vacation, we get a look into how the Plantars treat guests, we get a surprising glance at what Grime's career choice might have been had he not been born into a species-based caste system, and we get one last adventure in Wartwood before the excrement collides with the rotating oscillator.

Last episode was all about Grime, Sasha, and the Plantars trying to bury the hatchet with each other, but Grime and Sasha still having other plans to make this the Calm Before the Storm. Which did happen, but not in the way they expected.

This episode was all about just genuinely enjoying the calm period. As the mayor said, "we could all use some levity," and this was the perfect way to do it.

The idea of Anne, Sasha and Marcy having their own band back home felt a little forced to me, but it made the episode carry that much more weight. The #1 cause of bands breaking up seems to be creative differences among the members. So when that inevitably happened with Sasha quitting (and us still knowing she had another trick up her sleeve for the next episode), it was easy to see an ending where she did not rejoin her friends.

Here's the part of the review where the other bands get the spotlight:

Chuck and his singing tulips. That he apparently grew. Brilliant way to use him. (Side note: I wonder if he grew them in his own yard or in the Plantars' yard while they were away?)

Mrs. Croaker and Archie. Just such a dynamic duo that they needed a song.

Sprig, Hop Pop, Wally and Loggle. An odd pairing, but their use of the jugs... I just realized as I was writing this that Wally learned to play the jug from his father. And since he didn't know before that episode, he learned to play in the time since then.

And Grime. We don't get his whole performance, but it almost feels like he forced a win by ending the show with a 3 hour performance. On point for his character.

Then there was Sasha and Toady. I'll be honest, I was surprised that this act didn't come on stage. But I guess since Sasha already played in the Sharps, she wasn't allowed to compete in multiple acts. That means we never get to see the full version of Heartstomper, although I thought I saw it somewhere on YouTube.

Now back to the main event: the Sharps! I guess Anne's journey through this song sort of mirrored her journey through Amphibia as a whole, in that it started out solo, then Sasha decided to leave because she wanted to be in charge and Anne was left with just Marcy and the Plantars in a charming state, but Sasha ended up returning to make the ending that much more epic. Makes sense, too, because I've also heard that No Big Deal was written prior to the show and was initially considered as a candidate to be the theme song. And, if there's one thing I've learned through writing this blog, it's that much of Amphibia is a mirror.

And the song itself was a banger. My favorite Amphibia song by a country mile. (Come to think of it, there weren't that many songs in this show to choose from.) But still, this one was on par with GF's T8king Over Midnight and all three songs by MML's Just Getting Started.

Overall, just an amazing episode to bring the Wartwood chapter to its natural conclusion.

[chase-omega]

i may be a sonic fan but i dont associate at all with the rest of this fandom.

i do not subscribe to a toxic echo chamber that is constantly at war with itself over childish nonsense.

i put actual effort into OCs instead of just taking an existing character and changing the color scheme.

i dont go into every single video game expecting it to be absolutely perfect and then throw a temper tantrum over the tiniest, most nothing-burger flaw in the game.

i dont get SO attached to my older favorite games that i just hate any newer game thats not exactly like it no matter how well-made it turns out to be.

i dont blindly believe that my favorite older games are absolutely perfect and without flaw.

i dont put every game under a magnifying glass and dissect every single piece of it apart TRYING to find flaws in it or TRYING to find SOME way to say "new thing bad, old thing good".

i dont pretend to be soooo against a human kissing a hedgehog, and then at the same time turn around and fantasize about doing much more than just kissing to said hedgehog, all while the fact remains that i too am a human.

i dont go around shaming people for being into lewd artwork of the characters, even if its some sort of kink that im personally not into.

i dont assault gamestop employees just because sonic's arms turned blue in some spinoff AU that nobody cares about.

i dont attack or insult someone like a child for liking a game or a thing in a game that i personally dont.

i love archie sonic, but im not SO attached to it that i completely shut out IDW Sonic and dismiss it entirely.

and most of all, I don't have some stupid preconceived idea in my head of what I THINK Sonic games "should" be. because I understand that like many other franchises, Sonic is an ever-changing series that adapts with the times.

because i am an adult, and i choose to act like one.

[anonbinaryweirdo]

im rambling about me n devons ocsssss

for the deaths part, there's suicide mention(s) and mention(s) of fire !!

let m see if can remember deaths;

starting with the royales—

Jeremy was Michael Afton'ed (he got his insides ripped out basically)

Lucy got into... a car accident??? @deeplyinlovewithstars help

I think they said Diana got kidnapped? unsure

Dilon hung himself at a young age (the range was 5-12?? I think. I just know he was the first to die)

Derek was shot in the head at 15

Delilah got caught in a fire (I forget how old she was)

as for the mantovans—

Shamora got pushed off a building (I think she was the last to die.)

Alexandra was shot on her 16th birthday

misc characters—

Josh was deliberately drowned when he was twelve

Ash, same case scenario as Delilah, when he was younger

Haru (i forgot. but this just reminded me that HE was the last to die, not shamora)

and I'm sure that there are more, I just can't think of anyone else important

okay, now present canon ships !!!!! >:D (exes and current partners)

Josmora (Josh x Shamora; married)

Dilexru (this is an improvised ship name for Dilon x Alexandra x Haru; married)

Derash (Derek x Ash; married)

Jerelucy (Jeremy x Lucy; married)

Alarchie (Alexandra x Archie; exes)

Dereseph??? (Derek x Joseph; exes)

that's all I can remember

other relationships—

Diana, Dilon, Derek, Delilah (oldest-youngest; siblings)

Shamora, Alexandra (siblings)

Alexandra, Derek (best friends; in-laws)

Shamora, Delilah/Dilon (best friends; in-laws)

Delilah, Joshua/Ash (best friends; in-laws? Ash is her in law, not sure about Josh)

Shamora, Dilory (enemies. Dilory fucking killed her bye)

Every main OC, Joseph (they would all kill him on the spot)

probably some more

HEADCANONS + FACTS YAYYY

oh God where to begin

let's get. let's get Dilon out of the way. we hced a few months ago that he would NNNOT bail his spouses out of prison. oh, shamoras in jail? bailed. Josh is in jail? bailed. Lucy is in jail? bailed. Alex and Haru? keep them in there until their sentence is up. (/hj). don't get him wrong, he LOVES his spouses. but holy shit.

everyone has daddy issues. except ash. he's an orphan he doesn't get issues (jkjk but I THINK he had mommy issues??)

fun fact; the ONLY OC who has kept her personality throughout the years, was Lucy. she's perfect. I cringe every time I read back on old roleplays and see old screenshots. shamora would NOT act like this KILL IT

another fun fact; we would always argue over whether or not Jeremy was a top or bottom. this bitch recently revealed that he is a SWITCH (as Jeremy is their oc)

ANOTHER fun fact; during the starting days of our roleplays, Jeremy was like. Lucifer and Lucy was like Lillith. I'm so positive that this HAS changed. a lot. it probably isn't even canon anymore js

I think that Derek and Haru get along well, and yes it is because Joseph is Haru's brother as well as Derek's ex, BUT! Haru does NOT, and WILL not condone the type of abuse Joseph put Derek through EVER. he does not condone his brother's actions whatsoever, and always sided with Derek after he found out about everything.

adding onto Derek and Haru; Derek probably freaked out the first few times he saw Haru, given that him and Joseph look alike, if you don't count Haru's heterochromia

everyone lives together !! well, there's this one mansion that EVERYONE lives in, but they all have their separate homes for privacy (this is actually canon)

I'd like to think that Alex dyed her hair because she doesn't like thinking back on her birthday, aka the day she died. she's originally brunette, like shamora, but dyed her hair blue as to rid that image from her conscious. sometimes she forgets what she used to look like, until she somehow comes across an older picture, which sends her into a spiral

despite their coldness and stoicness, I would like to think that, if not anything else, Shamora and Dilon are passionate when it comes to their lovers !!

Dilon is the second oldest out of like five kids, affection was probably a frequent thing given how deprived of it they were when they were kids.. so if Alex were to fall victim to a panic attack, or if Haru just wasn't having a good day, Dilon would know, and go about dealing with it in his own ways. as I said earlier, he absolutely loves his spouses, even if he flat out refuses to acknowledge it most of the time. this only happens behind closed doors !! and I don't think they would tease him for it. this is rare, and he means well, so they'd accept it with lots of love !! plus they don't really feel like getting hit in the head with a pot like. ever.

and, unlike Dilon, Shamora initiates affection herself, even when she knows that Josh doesn't need it in that moment. her sister was clingy growing up, so she hardly minds Josh's clinginess. in fact, she'll start to get worried if he isn't holding onto her shirt somehow. there are times where she'll just sit with him and scratch behind his ears, or she'll grab his hand and tug him along with her if she knows she's going somewhere—knowing that Josh has to be trailing behind her, or he'll get lost and spiral if she isn't back within ten twenty minutes. she's quiet when affection is initiated from either of them, and mostly sticks to her actions doing all the talking for her. if Josh starts to get insecure about his place in the relationship, she'll know before hand and talk to him about it—one of the rare times she's actually verbal during any sort of affection.

I saw Devon say this in a hc channel; but Haru is definitely the mom friend !! skddkjdj my brain is running at 999mph thinking about them forgive me

I'm gonna stop here because 🧍🏽who tfs gonna read this besides Devon I am RAMBLING (I still have lots to say too. a lot more 💔)

[circlemidnight]

Just did a speed run through the Jeronica kisses now that Season 7 is up on Netflix, and I'm convinced the writers were taken over by alien with talent and understanding of character just for those scenes. Veronica's written like a cartoon of sexuality half the season, especially with Archie and Reggie, and Jughead's off in no man's land, having no connection to any one, but their kisses are so playful and sweet and sexy. Veronica gets to be coy (her eyes flickering down in the school hallway to see if she's inspired...something else) and Jughead gets to rib her ("oh, we will?), and "Wowie"/"You can say that again" is so perfect; they can't turn off the banter even in the midst of their cello-swelling moment. And the hesitation before the fireplace both times, and how he reaches for her face the first time, but she does the second time, and by the time they make their grand entrance at school they've settled in the middle. They just go toe-to-toe with each other so well, it never feels like a gimmick or a melodrama. In conclusion, this was the teen dream the writers accidentally stumbled into this season, but they couldn't help tripping over their feet at the finish line, and I'm in denial that, memories and all, they would've gone into this ridiculous quad situation in high school and then never talked again.

You put it so beautifully! Yes exactly, I think we have to credit Cole and Cami with a lot of it. Everything good on this show happened by accident, but I think their scenes obviously have little improvised moments and Cami has spoken before about how she likes to discuss with a scene partner how things will play out. It's not so much the writing but the directing and acting that shows their connection. These are the people who understood the assignment imo. Like you said, it's illogical that they would be so entwined emotionally and professionally and then just never speak to each other after graduation? I don't think they would have gone back to Betty and Archie either. Not when their cheating was so core to how badly their lives ended up playing out. I think it would've made more sense to just have the Betty-Archie-Reggie trio senior year with Veronica and Jughead doing their own thing like they had been doing all season.

And like you said, within the context of Jeronica, Veronica is not used as a sexual punchline to someone else's fantasy. It's almost like Jeronica is the only time Veronica gets any respect and isn't just written for the male (and Betty) gaze. She got to focus on her career but in a way that leans into her passion and romanticism and it tied so well with Jughead's goals and his journey. She wasn't used as a prop, she got equal dialogue and moments to shine, and she did a lot of progressive things without just like...wearing lingerie. Her scenes with Josie especially show that she is more than just a sidekick people want to sleep with. And I think Jughead's one of the only people who leaned into how intelligent she is rather than just focusing on her being hot or rich.

[sugar-omi]

yeaaahhh this pussy should be burned at the stake the way it's committing acts of witchcraft on these boys..... sigh but i cannot say i'm not cock hungry either. bc Duh. OKAY I CAN SEE US PULLING INTO THE RESIDENTIAL AREA NOW SO IMA HAVE TO MAKE THIS A LIL QUICK

so im ssitting there. and this fucking SEVEN AND A HALF INCHER IS CENTIMETERS AWAY FROM MY FACE. so like the generous and ever-giving goddess i am. i give the tip a lil kiss. make out with it, even. when in france.

and the tiny little whispered "ohhhhhfuck" that comes out of saro makes both archie and i react IN UNISON. archie's content to just sit on the couch and watch and occasionally provide moral support (aka teasing the shit out of saro and turning on me if i laugh)

"awh, c'mon, mi. you can take more of him than that. you've got a smart mouth, don't you?"

and i send him a lil side eye, but then saro lets out a WHINE AND ITS LIKE MY BODY MOVES ON AUTOPILOT. so i end up taking him to the base bc ur girl's a natural throat goat 💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼

MORE LATER WE'RE IN THE DRIVEWAY I THINK IM AB TO GET PIPED

JSDHASKJA HAVE FUN OOMF!!!! I WISH YOU PUSSY LUCK!!!!

no bae, they cant burn your pussy at the stake... she's too powerful.. too enchanting... too perfect... they can't do this </3

ALSO 7 N A HALF INCHES OF DICK IS CRAZZZY I LOVE IT!!! I KNEW IT!!!! and mr. dazzling just sitting on the sidelines being the puppet master is driving me crazy... im obsessed with him...

[shadamyheadcanons]

I know this is a Shadamy blog but I would like to know your take on SonicxSally. I kind of like it but at the same time I don't think Sonic would like a long term relationship

Like many Shadamy fans, I adore Sonally. I haven’t read the vast majority of Archie, but I did watch SatAM as a kid, and my love for these two started there. She’s quick-witted and clever, so she keeps pace with him.

Thing is, though...I’m kind of in the same boat as you, haha. Sonic’s distaste for commitment and marriage thwarts most potential ships.

HOWEVER! There is a workaround.

I think Sonic can go well with someone else who either also doesn’t like commitment or has a lot going on in their life. While they’re busy with their responsibilities, he can run off on adventures and enjoy the freedom he needs. It’s not perfect, but I think it can work with the right dynamic. Sonic and Sally work because she’s independent and self-sufficient, and between her duties as a monarch and leader of the resistance, she’d need plenty of time to herself, too. She’s on his level and knows his needs. This isn’t just me bending the rules, either; there are apparently multiple potential future timelines in Archie where they wind up happily married with kids:

[Source]

I can’t *quite* buy him being in such a traditional role, but they seem happy. It’s a possibility.

Sonally isn’t the only ship that could work like this. I’ll always prefer Blaze with Silver, but with her being a busy princess and guardian from another dimension, I could see them having a casual off-and-on thing together. I see them as platonic myself, but I get the appeal. Knuckles works because he needs his alone time, too. He spends a ton of time in solitude on Angel Island. He wouldn’t need Sonic to be by his side every day. Rouge is flighty and loves her freedom just as much as Sonic does. I’m a big advocate for Sonouge; I explain why in-depth in this post. It’s a very underrated ship.

But the Sonic ship I like most of all, even outranking my childhood nostalgia for Sonally, is...Sonknuxouge? Knuxsonouge...? Idk what the proper term is, but just squish Sonic, Knuckles, and Rouge together. That��s my jam. I hardly ever polyship, but I love seeing these three together.

Knuxouge is already popular, and for good reason. Even Sonic ships it:

Wouldn’t surprise me if he gave them a nudge, and I’d argue that he’s flirted with both of them himself on occasion. He seems like he’d be up for polyamory anyway. Imagine if Knuckles and Rouge got together and she moved in with him on Angel Island, or at least spent a lot of time there. G.U.N. might even encourage this, as they’d have an agent up there keeping an eye on the Master Emerald.

Of course, they wouldn’t know that her loyalties would lie with Knuckles and his friends. Even she doesn’t trust G.U.N.:

With her being stationed on Angel Island, though, it could usher in a better alliance between Sonic & friends and G.U.N. With different leadership, G.U.N. could clean up their act and be on the right side of history more often. Hell, putting Rouge up there would make way for my headcanon that Amy could lead Team Dark someday.

They could have kids--Qkora’s designs are my favorite--because, uh...we’re short on echidnas. And I’ve always thought Knuckles would make a great dad.

Knuckles is pretty tied to the island, but I imagine Rouge would take trips down to the mainland for treasure hunting, checking on her casino, etc, and while she’s down there, she could pick up Sonic so he could visit the two of them.

It’d be kind of a long flight, but if she can carry Shadow and Omega’s combined weight of ~2800 pounds, she can handle Sonic’s 77 pounds.

He wouldn’t be as close as they are, but they’d all enjoy each other’s company, and he could help look after the kids sometimes. I can’t imagine Sonic ever being present enough to be a full-time dad, but he’s great with kids.

There’s no way Sega would ever go for polyamory, but I think it’s a fun idea.

tl;dr I love Sonally and I do think it could work, but it’s not his only option. That is, if we winds up with anyone at all. He could definitely stay single.

[its-gonna-be-may]

[Another video! May is sitting on a sandbar, arms wrapped around her knees, which are tucked too her chest. Its raining, both water and fire. Groudon and Kyogre can be seen clashing in the distance, silhouetted against the rain, the only truly visible parts being the glowing lines that permeate their bodies, and the explosions of their attacks. Its hard too tell because of the rain, but she's crying.

Besides her, is Latias in human form, rubbing her back and trying her best too comfort her.

Latias: It'll be okay.

May: No it won't! Rayquaza should be here but it isn't!

Latias: You'll find a way, like Gloria did.

May: Glor still had the two wolves by her side, even if neither of them were hers.

May sinks further into despair, burying her head in her knees. Latias can only pat her on the back.

Suddenly, there's a shout from offscreen and Zinnia bursts into view, aiming a kick at May. Latias moves quickly, putting up a psychic shield against Zinnia's attack and knocking her backwards. May quickly scrambles too her feet, taking out her drawing tablet but immediately noticing the rain's rendered it useless.

May: *muttering* Knew I should have backed those drawings up.

Zinnia: What did you do!!!

May adopts her best combat stance. Its not very good compared too Zinnia's. Clearly, the older girl has had years more training.

May: What did I do!? You're the one who woke up Kyogre!

Zinnia: Yeah! That was the plan, dumbass! But you ruined it!

May: Your plan was too end the world! The frick kinda plan is that! Oh come on, really with the swear filter!? Now!?

Zinnia: Her plan wouldn't work! I knew it wouldn't work! She was only gonna wake one of them, that wasn't enough! So I came up with my own plan! I'd wake both of them! Then Rayquaza would come! It was perfect! But then you came and ruined it!

May: The heck are you talking about!?

Zinnia: You went off-script!

May: I knew it. I knew you knew.

Zinnia: You went off track and changed everything! If you'd just stuck too the way things were supposed too be, Archie would have woken Kyogre on his own and Rayquaza would be here! But he didn't, and its not, and its all! Your! Fault! You and your stupid siblings wanting soooooo bad too be your own people, not even trying too play the roles we were assigned! You shouldn't even be here, you shouldn't even have this life, but you are and you do! You're supposed too be May, so why don't you act like it!

May: Wait a minute... "we..."

May gasps.

May: You're one of us! You were isekai'd too!

The video ends for dramatic effect.]