#and don’t go crying about the supposed ‘title battle’ with max when that was the difference in 2022

[gogethelp123]

McLaren fucked it up today, there’s no doubt about that. To give the driver in p2 preferential stops and then act shocked that the undercut that almost always works, worked, is insane. And with such an insane strategy blunder, they put themselves in a lose lose situation.

Oscars say back whilst Lando gets the preferred strategy on multiple occasions and never pushed it or questioned it. Maybe he would’ve asked to swap places back had McLaren never mentioned it, but it would seem out of character.

Let Lando win the race and they’d have tons of people calling them out for blatant favouritism and saying they robbed Oscar of his first win. Let Oscar win and you’ve got the current situation.

Oscar has shown immense consistency and incredible performance for a driver who’s only in his second season, the fact he is that close to Lando and is capable of winning races is a testament to his skill and talent. Don’t let McLaren’s mistakes distract from the incredible driving we witnessed from both of them today. Both drivers are Grand Prix winners, both drivers are capable of maximising points and if they continue like this there’s a genuine shot at the constructors, but maximising points relies on both drivers trusting each other and trusting the team around them.

McLaren fucked up, don’t use that to take away from the drivers.

[something-very-special]

they ran over the seals

More Replicant playthrough observations and general nonsense under the cut. For reference, up to the keystone quest; completed the Forest of Myth and Junk Heap.

This fucking game I swear to god.

A vaguely coherent ramble about sidequests An observation about sidequests in general in this game -- and I don't recall if I ever voiced this somewhere public or it was just a personal observation from my time with the original -- is that the quests in the first half of the game are all relatively easy to complete. There's that one asshat who wants 10 goat hides, but other than him, most of the sidequests are either very much based on finding characters, or gathering a sensible number of items that are either relatively common, purchasable, or given a guaranteed spawn for the duration of that quest.

The sidequests everybody remembers having to do are in the second half, where everybody is demanding and awful and I'm sorry ten MACHINE OILS do you know how goddamn rare those are? They're goddamn rare.

(We'll not discuss Life in the Sands.)

This is generally agreed to, in the technical vernacular, 'suck'. And it's always funny that the most interesting sidequests are the ones with very minimal requirements (Yonah's cooking, getting Popola drunk, the Lighthouse Ladoh my god everything's gone blurry I'm not crying you're crying who am I kidding we're both crying). That particular aspect of the design also feels intentional, not really gating your ability to progress the really meaningful or funny sidequests behind an unreasonable number of rare items. The other aspect of the design is that these quests are not meant to be completed in a single playthrough; most of them are single-stage and just absolutely unreasonable, but if you're going through the game four times you have a... reasonable chance of getting everything you need more or less naturally.

Nobody does that but I think that was the intended design. I think it's a good idea, although the execution of expectation is flawed so I don't really blame people for saying those sidequests suck. (Although I will in turn blame people for saying the sidequests suck as a blanket statement. Yeah getting that guy who burned his kitchen down a billion Broken Motors is aggravating but did you not find that old man's dog? Speak to Ursula on her death bed? Solve a murder? Then again I think tracking down that rotten son who's trying to get away from The Family Business only to learn his father is a con-artist and get literally no reward is the height of comedy so maybe I'm not the greatest point of reference.)

But that asshole in Facade can get bent. I can't exploit my garden properly, jackass! I am no longer a god of time. (I kid, of course.) (This guys sucks even when you can fix your clock.)

Forest of Myth It didn't even occur to me to wonder how they would incorporate the comprehensive voice acting into the Forest of Myth. I like how it plays out, although I wish the voices maybe had a fade as you went deeper into the dream instead of just cutting out at some point, especially for the lines where the characters are being ascribed actions by the narrator that they themselves aren't doing near the start of the Deathdream. But it's just delightful to go back to it. The second half of the game really sticks in your mind both for emotional reasons and because you play it at least three times per full playthrough of the game, but the first half is just so much fun.

Protip: Talk to everybody after you've finished the dream sidequest. Weiss tries to dissuade you. Don't let him dissuade you. I'm still delighted by the Mayor; "We're building a statue of you, made of solid gold. I know you don't own a horse, but we're going to put you on a horse."

I forgot about Yonah being a disaster chef Papa Nier's reaction to the stew is better. Brother is still funny but Papa Nier just expecting to die is comedy gold.

For anybody curious, the joke about the cakes is that Yonah made 'fruit cake' using some of the worst possible fruits for cake-making. If only she'd thrown a tomato into the mix, too.

Lighthouse Lady Every time. what the fuck is a canal I'm aware of the addition of the new-old content but it didn't occur to me until Popola suddenly starts nattering on about fixing the canal when I'm expecting Yonah to talk about a penpal that oh, yeah, I guess Seafront would have had something going on the first half that would play into the second half? (I assume it does. Be weird to introduce these characters just to have groundwork for an added sidequest. ...but it was a cute sidequest.) But look Popola my boy is supposed to be in the next area I visit could we-- I mean he's on the way could we just-- no-- fiiiiiiiiiine. (It was short and sweet, though, and I appreciate that the couple's love is exemplified by them both calling Weiss a floating magazine in tandem.) On a related note but was I the only person suddenly concerned when the sidequest completion maxed out at 50% and not 51%? I had to double-check with a guide just to make sure, since I've spent the last decade telling people to make sure you hit 51% before going on to Part II.

MY BOY I love that nowadays, Emil is everybody's son. But I really wish I could go find somebody only familiar with Automata and just watch their reaction. (I'm guessing there are streams out there that fulfill this but man I'd love to get it in-person.) If you're only familiar with him from Automata this has to be a mindfuck.

Personal anecdote, but I've had the privilege of playing NIER with somebody else almost every time I've gone through it. I had a wonderful experience of doing a replay some years back with somebody who had experienced it with me before but didn't have the most solid memory of the beginning (and had actually missed the entire weapon's lab the first time through). I get to the boy at the piano introducing himself and the 'Wait, what?' was a thing of beauty.

MY ANDROID This was a welcome mindfuck for me; finding Sebastian and having him 'reactivate' in such an unnatural, mechanical way. I don't recall if it was ever officially confirmed that Sebastian is an android (I know that it's just understood that this is the case but I'm not I can't recall a specific one) but the little flair they added to his animation caught me completely off guard. I liked it!

Destroying the food source A lot of people will cite a major inciting incident for the game as being when the protagonist heading back into the village and killing the child Shades just outside the entrance. This moment is such a great bit of subtle foreshadowing that's so easy to miss... but kind of joining that, just before the Knave of Hearts attacks, I realized that the Shades out on the Northern Plains are clearly ramping up for an assault of their own by murdering the sheep. The sheep population at this point is decimated (which is great when you realize you haven't gotten the Sheepslayer trophy and you're about to enter Part II and you don't know if the boar drifting minigame got carried forward with the inclusion of 15 Nightmares). You go out onto the Plains and you will find not only small clusters of sheep left behind instead of the vast, terrifying herds from the start of the game, but until you get their attention the Shades are prioritizing killing the sheep. (Also annoying because that doesn't count toward my sheep murder number.) The Shades will be out there also killing sheep earlier on, but since the whole map is in Overcast mode after talking to Yonah it's especially prevalent to go out to the Northern Plains and seeing the slaughter. And I realized-- they're cutting the Village off from a primary food source. Shades don't eat and they don't have any beef with the local ungulates (at least, no more so than anybody else does), so why are they hunting down the sheep? To deprive their enemies of resources. Sheep are extinct by the timeskip. It's actually really clever of them, and a really clever indication of their sentience and intelligence before it's fully verified.

"Let's get these shit-hogs!" Everything about the way Kaine and Emil interact across the entire game is perfect I will brook no argument this is objective fact.

Emotive Rectangles I wrote an essay about this before but it really bears repeating that the job the original animators did with this scene is just phenomenal. The way Weiss drifts, flits, flips, fans his pages, drunkenly swerves, shoots around the room in defiance... He's a goddamn rectangle, but there is so much emotion and personality in this scene just based on the movements conveyed through a what is effectively just a box. Ten years later and triple-A titles with full facial capture don't have this much seething personality. I really have to give props to the cavia animators, wherever they wound up. That studio could really put some subtle love and care into their titles, utterly unnecessary and easy to miss but you can tell that whoever was working on it was giving it their all. The books are probably the exemplification of this, but every time I go into Seafront and visit the seals I can tell that the guy on seal duty was having just the best day. They made Emil so pretty There's an FMV cutscene right smack in the middle of the original game after the battle against Noir. I understand why it was a necessity on a technical level, but it always looked pretty out of place and a little uncanny valley compared to the rest of the graphical fidelity. That's no longer a necessity so this cutscene is rendered in-engine. I admit I was actually curious to see it redone this way and it looks fantastic. I single out Emil since he is the focal point of cutscene and because his particular high-poly model had some pretty weird difference from his in-engine model, but he and Kaine both look great. But, like, it's almost mean how pretty he is.

They made Brother Nier so pretty Yeah okay you got me he's kind of hot. Kaine's expression when she wakes up and looks him over is... significantly easier to read now. Good voice, too. (Ancient rumors tell that one of the issues with international releases of RepliCant was that they couldn't find an English VA with a voice that 'fit' Brother Nier. He sounded good out the gate but hearing him growl "Let's go TAKE CARE of those KIDS" during the thief sidequest-- I got chills. It sounds so silly but there's a kind of percolating fury to that delivery. Papa Nier was like frustrated but mostly disappointed dad; I felt like Brother was going to take care of those kids, and nobody was going to find the bodies. Younger Brother Nier just never stops looking goofy to me but Older Brother just looks great in motion, between the alterations they made to the movement and just the entire weaponry system. The distinction between the two halves of the game was always a little odd in the Gestalt version-- not odd enough to really raise eyebrows if you didn't know about RepliCant, but of course you can tell that this age gape between the optimistic doe-eyed dogooder and a man largely ruled by his fury and calloused by tragedy is what the timeskip was going for. Swab me down and call me Ishmael, it works. Younger Brother wasn't quite clicking with me-- not because of any writing or voicework issues, but I've got Papa Nier on the back of my mind and it's impossible not to compare and contrast the delivery and dialogue between the two. I know that this is intentional, too; Younger Brother is supposed to be that happy-go-lucky video game protagonist, always doing the right thing and helping people, in order to contrast against the man he becomes. Even just edging into Part II the effect is dramatic and it recontextualizes Younger Brother into a much more effective overall character. And let me reiterate, I enjoyed my time with Younger Brother just fine, I have no issues with him. But he's up against Well Meaning Big Dummy Part I Papa Nier. No contest. And I'm excited to see where Older Brother goes from here.

Speaking of voices I mentioned this before but the delivery on the character's lines is different. The entire game was re-recorded and quite a few lines are still pretty similar to the original, but there are some that are... definitely different. Part of this is a difference in the relationship between characters based on their life experience and ages-- Weiss is much more of an ass to Younger Brother but has a much more even respect for Older Brother (neither of which are like the rapport he established with Father). Some of Kaine's lines feel more aloof, dismissive, and almost tired in the front half of the game. I haven't really gotten to a point to dig into Emil's rapport with the other characters, but the delivery feels more hesitant and uncertain (which I think is more in line with his Japanese VO, but I'm prefacing that on an untrained ear and a presumption rather than recent memory). It's been interesting to see not just where hey adjusted dialogue (and how-- there are some lines that didn't need to be rewritten), but also how they adjust tone and delivery. Dealing with Younger Brother is one thing, but as I said, I'm very excited to see what's different in the second half, especially being much more familiar with that part of the game. Speaking of Voices! Halua got dialogue! I... preferred when it was inferred (and the implications of "I'll always be watching over you" are borderline malicious given the results of their fusion dance, yeah THANK YOU HALUA this is GREAT). Halua's delivery also felt a little too innocent and upbeat both for the situation and when compared to her narrative voice in The Stone Flower, where she comes across as much more cynical and cold. But given what she's been through and the nightmare she's finally escaping I guess she's allowed express happiness. She's certainly earned the right to having a spoken line. No matter what. Every fuckin' time.

"Here we go." This was always a great line to kind of ease in to the officially-official start of Part II-- every time you start up a New Game+ you're greeted with Emil musing about his conflation of Halua to Kaine, and then the phrase "Here we go". There's a lot in that one line. On a personal level he's grounding his thoughts in the moment and steeling himself for what comes next and pushing through his pain and sadness and fear. Whatever Nier told him in the facility he's still terrified, desperately terrified, that Kaine -- who was the one who told him his life had meaning -- is going to reject him. And why wouldn't she? Ultimately they don't know each other, not really. He understands at that moment that his relationship with Kaine is based on confused memories of his sister, that maybe the bond he thought they established isn't actually real. As soon as he frees Kaine he's going to have to confront her, like this, and how could she ever-- she won't-- but he can't just leave her. Whatever happens next. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. (God it matters.) "Here we go." On a meta level, that's our introduction into the second half of the game. The first half is all prologue. This is where we'll be spending the rest of our time, even to the point that 'New Game+' skips straight ahead to this moment. Now that we've finished the establishment, this is where it all builds and where it all matters. Here we go, audience. The ride starts now. You get up to this point now in Replicant. You get the same lead-in. My dumb ass even whispered "Here we go", because I can't help myself. And he says, of course he says--! "Anyway." ... ...a-anyway? What the hell kind of line is that? "Here's some deeply personal musings that are also an indication of my own discomfort as I babble to myself just to fill the void so I can stave off thinking for just a few more seconds. ANYWAY." What a... bizarre decision. Just bizarre.

Upgraded melee combat The introduction to the armored Shades always feel kind of rough-- the defenses on those Shades are significantly higher than anything you've faced and the new weapons you're given to combat them just aren't that good. (If you got lucky you could have a fully-upgraded Faith by now, which is nearly three times as powerful as the 'heavy' two-handed sword you're given; if you downloaded the 4 YoRHa pack for Replicant you've probably been able to upgrade one of those weapons once, which are also a really nice strength boost that leaves the freebie heavy swords and spears in the dust). As an introduction to the new weapon types it always feels like rough going. But then you get a chance to get decent weapons and the combat system truly opens up, and compared to the first game you really feel it. At this juncture I would always just bustle off to Facade and grab the Phoenix Spear and never look back-- the raw power compared to the rest of your arsenal coupled with the triangle dash is basically the bread and butter of the rest of the game. It's not exciting, but it's effective. No more triangle dashing, which was deeply disappointing... but both weapons definitely feel good. I am also somewhat ashamed to admit that it wasn't until now that I realized attacks weren't just about rhythmic input-- you can hold the attacks down to do different charged hits and combos depending on when you execute them in your combo, similar to Automata. I, uh... I felt a bit dumb. But hey, wow, it's a welcome adjustment and it makes all of the weapon types feel equally valuable for different purposes. I never liked using the heavy blades in the original release because they just felt too slow for the damage output they did, even if their 'point' was mostly to sheer off armor (and they definitely felt too slow for use in crowd control). Now they're still heavy and slower, but not to the point that you're basically leaving yourself open just trying to attack. Spears now do crazy sweeping combos and multi-hits. Both of these properties were borrowed from Automata and I find myself prioritizing melee combat and almost forgetting I have magic because honestly it just feels intuitive and fun. I feel like Kaine and Emil might have gotten a power boost as well? Not that I can really confirm this but going into some of the Junk Heap rooms I'd focus on killing a few robots in the corner and then turn around and just see a field of item drops and no more robots. Don't take my word on that, of course, but they felt a little more effective, and a placebo effect is still an effect. "You're staging a protest? That's fun!" Emil. Rebel without a cause. Will not hesitate to kill you if you trespass on his property. (Might explain the statues in the courtyard, actually.) I'll have to double-check this dialogue because I definitely remember more of a melancholia before we get to roasting marshmallows. I think Papa Nier actually offers to talk to/implicitly threaten the villagers to let them in the Village whereas Brother offers to sleep outside with them... which is actually kind of funny. In the former it comes off as Emil and Kaine maybe kinda-sorta not wanting to be allowed in the Village for their own reasons (they're not happy reasons but they're reasons nonetheless) and reassuring Father that no, it's okay, it's fun! The latter is almost telling Brother to stay inside because he'll ruin their sleepover.

(They're absolutely having giggly girl talk about him outside the gates, 100%.) they ran over the seals All I want in Seafront is to enjoy the music and run out to the big beach and hang out with the last living seals and they put a fucking pirate ship on top of them. Oh, wow. Gideon. Wow. OG Nier featured a Gideon that tried to keep himself together and then had fits of mania. You'd be concerned about him during some of the dialogue but generally speaking he came across as... functional. The delivery on all of his lines is now so insanely murder bonkers, like every line he's addressing you like you're already chained to the wall of his serial killer dungeon and it's glorious. I don't know if the distinction between the games is deliberate (in that Gideon in Gestalt was just more even-keeled between his 'rip 'em apart' snarlings and was always just totally nutso in RepliCant) but I do appreciate it. It's a good mirror to Brother Nier's own anger, which only ever seems to be mollified when he's talking to his friends (even kindly accepting sidequests there's a pretty consistent -- not universal, but consistent -- air of barely-bridled frustration). The other characters that Brother encounters are various reflections of himself if things had just been a little different-- Gideon was a representation of the kind of obsessive madness that would have eaten Brother alive if he hadn't had his network of support. Gideon's constant fury and bloodlust even bleeds into him just saying "What can I do for you?" He has no anchor to keep himself sane, nobody to stay human for; he's all mania, all anger, and he only takes any real interest in Brother on his return because he sees an opportunity to act out his vengeance. After defeating Beepy and Kalil he even goes so far as to not only blame Beepy for killing Jakob, but for also killing their mother, which is patently insane but really speaks to how far his justifications and fury have taken him. Papa Nier responds to his anger toward Beepy by basically backing away slowly and saying "Oookay then". Brother, however, actually commiserates; "That's enough. [...] We get it. We really do." This is definitely one of those moments where Brother's context works better than Father's; he absolutely sees himself in Gideon. He completely understands him and sympathizes. He recognizes the madness of his own quest, he sees where it could take him, and there's a resignation when he speaks to Weiss: "Revenge is a fool's errand." "...yeah." Papa Nier has a similar delivery and similarly implies that he understands how terrible his quest is, but there's something decidedly haunting in Brother's sympathy. Also just verifying something on the wiki and this bit of 'Trivia' really jumped at me:

Gideon is the only character to only cause the deaths of other characters. In his case, he caused a platform to crush Jakob and ordered the deaths of P-33 and Kalil, with P-33 surviving.

Metal AF.

[eyebeastposts]

Whitney’s Miltank Training

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WARNING THIS STORY CONTAINS: Female Miltank TF, Weight Gain, and Lactation

An ordinary day at the Goldenrod City gym is disturbed when a strange trainer arrives to challenge Whitney to a battle and show her a new way of bonding with her Pokemon.

  Spurred by an uneventful day with a lack of challengers, Whitney busied herself with her duties as leader of the Goldenrod City gym. Walking the halls of her gym to check in on her trainers and their Pokémon, Whitney looked as outstanding as ever with her pink hair tied into a pair of ponytails. Her white shirt with pink stripes and blue short shorts were a staple of her wardrobe, conveying the comfort she felt as she traversed the place she called home.

  Reaching the gym’s main challenge room, Whitney pulled out one of her Pokeballs. Softly tossing the ball into the air released the creature inside. Stomping her hooves into the ground, Miltank announced her arrival with a cheerful cry. Swinging about the orb on her tail and the four teats on her belly, she turned towards her trainer. Embracing her Miltank with open arms, Whitney gave her a gentle pat on the head and let her fingers run along the black and pink bovine Pokémon’s nubby horns and flat ears.

  “How are you feeling today?” Whitney asked.

  “Mil-mil,” Miltank replied, a smile upon her face as she nuzzled her black nose against Whitney’s chest.

  “That’s great to hear. Since it doesn’t look like we have any challengers today, I can take all the time we want to spend together. You’re overdo for a good grooming, plus I want to try out some new battle strategies with you. Not to mention, it’s been a while since you were last milked.“

  “Whitney!”

  A gym trainer by the name of Victoria came bursting through the door. Like many of the other beauties of the gym, she had silky, blonde hair and wore a white tank top alongside a pair of black short shorts. Her usually calm demeanor was absent as she sprinted towards the bewildered leader. “A trainer just showed up,” she said, leaning against the wall to catch her breath.

  “That’s not out of the ordinary. Why did you come running all the way here?”

  “He’s not like the others,” Victoria replied. “There’s something about him that just seems off. I think he’s here for more than just a badge. That and he’s reaaaaaaly creepy.”

  “That’s a pretty rude thing to say.”

  Whitney and Victoria turned their heads towards the door to see that the voice came from a hooded figure. A grey cloak shrouded his form, with a belt of strange, black and white Pokeballs hooked around his waist. Shuffling up to the cautious girls, the figure threw back his hood to reveal a young male trainer with buzz cut, black hair and an eye painted across his forehead. Putting his hands together, he made a small bow towards Whitney.

  “I am sorry for the intrusion Ms. Whitney,” he said. “My name is Oko. You are taking challengers today, correct?”

  “Yes I am,” Whitney said, standing up straight to present herself as a gym leader. “I’d be more than happy to accept your challenge. So how many badges do you have?”

  “None.”

  “Oh so you must be a new trainer. I’m honored to be your first gym challenge.”

  “No, no, no, you’re far from my first. I’ve conquered many gym leaders already. I just haven’t taken any badges.”

  Whitney raised her eyebrow as she looked at Oko’s seemingly benign smile. “If you’re not going after badges, then why are you here?”

  “I am a self-proclaimed Pokémon trainer coach for lack of a better term. I go around to various gyms and test their leaders to see if they are worthy of their title. If they fail my challenge, I give them a chance to improve themselves through my special form of training.”

  “What are you trying to say about Whitney?” Victoria asked, stepping forward to protect her leader.

  “It’s alright,” Whitney said, holding up her hand to keep the defensive beauty back. “If what you say is true, then you want to challenge me, not for a badge, but to see if I’m good enough to be a gym leader?”

  “Precisely,” Oko replied, putting his hands together. “We’ll do a one-on-one Pokémon battle. If I win, I’ll put you through a short training session to improve your skills as a trainer by letting you grow closer with your Pokémon.”

  With a confident smile, Whitney placed her hand on top of her Miltank’s head. “Sorry to break it to you, but Miltank and I are nearly unstoppable.”

  “Mil-mil!” Miltank added.

  Oko’s smile grew into a sinister grin. “We will see. Shall we begin?”

  “Whenever you’re ready. Victoria, would you mind being the judge?”

  “Okay, but…are you sure about this Whitney?” Victoria asked, side eyeing Oko as he strolled over to the opposite side of the gym.

  “Don’t be so worried about it,” Whitney replied, stretching out her arms to loosen up for the battle. “He might be a little weird, but he sounds like he has good intentions. Besides, it’s not like as a gym leader I can refuse his challenge. It’ll be fine.”

  “If you say so,” Victoria begrudgingly replied, taking her place at the judge’s spot. “Trainers, call out your first Pokémon.”

  “You know who I’m picking,” Whitney said, her Miltank taking her spot on the field.

  “Excellent, I was hoping you’d pick that one,” Oko said, plucking up one of the Pokeballs from his belt. “I have just the opponent for you.”

  With a flick of his wrist, Oko tossed out his Pokémon. A Dusclops appeared from the flash of red light. Clenching its white fists, it turned its stout, grey body towards Whitney. The gym leader’s confidant attitude wavered under the ghostly Pokémon’s gaze, her feeling of uneasiness increasing as she beheld its pure black iris. Shaking her head back and forth to try and compose herself, Whitney stared down Dusclops, ready for whatever it and its strange trainer could throw at her.

  “Trainers, on your marks,” Victoria said, holding up her hands to signal Whitney and Oko. “Begin!”

  “Dusclops, use Brick Break,” Oko called out.

  With a nod of its head, Dusclops ran towards Miltank with its fists ready to strike.

  “I applaud you on your choice, but it takes more than type advantage to win a Pokémon battle,” Whitney replied, Dusclops mere inches from her Miltank. “Miltank, show him what you can do!”

  Miltank made an affirmative grunt as she side stepped the Dusclops’s fists. Leaping out of the ghost Pokémon’s attack, Miltank stomped her feet into the ground and let out a triumphant cry to try and intimidate the ghost Pokémon. Dusclops merely turned towards it, its black eye unblinking as it stared down Miltank.

  “Our turn now,” Whitney shouted out to help ease her Miltank’s nerves. “Show him the best we have. Use Rollout!”

  “Mil, Miltank!” Miltank confirmed, as she began running towards Dusclops. The bovine Pokémon fell forward as if it tripped, only to go spinning into a ball of pink and black. Whirling across the floor, it sped towards Dusclops with ever increasing speed. The rolling Miltank barely missed Dusclops, grazing the knuckles of its fist.

  “You…do know you’re supposed to hit the target right?” Oko asked, more out of concern then teasing.

  “Doesn’t have to be the first hit,” Whitney confidently replied. “The more Miltank rolls, the faster she becomes. You might be able to dodge for a little while, but eventually she’s going to hit her mark.”

  “An interesting strategy,” he commented, scratching his chin. “Let’s see how it works in practice.”

  Miltank continued to roll along the floor, picking up speed with each passing second. Despite its stone faced expression, Dusclops could only stand there and dodge each of the attacks. Though it tried to throw in a punch here and there, the damage it inflicted was minimal. As Miltank got closer to hitting her target, she caught glancing blows on the ghost Pokémon to slowly whittle down its stamina. Bruised and battered, Dusclops dropped to its knees. Unable to do much as Miltank reached max speed, it seemed like the fight had already been decided.

  “Sorry to end it so quickly,” Whitney began, already baring a victorious smile, “but I didn’t intend to hold back. Miltank, finish it off with one last Rollout!”

  Miltank sped towards Dusclops at breakneck speed. Seemingly accepting the inevitable, Dusclops stood perfectly still as the pink cow rolled ever closer. Making contact with Dusclops, Miltank pushed it across the room to slam into the wall. Whitney considered the sizable dent Miltank created a small price to pay for an overwhelming victory.

  “Dusclops, use Revenge!”

  Oko’s words turned Whitney’s triumph into dread. Turning towards the impact crater, she watched as Dusclops slowly raised up its hands. Before she could call out for her stationary Miltank to get out of the way, Dusclops sent its fists slamming down on her back. The impact created a crater twice the size of the hole in the wall. Running over to ground zero, Whitney peeked her head over the side of the hole to see her Miltank knocked out.

  “The winner is…Oko!” Victoria announced, holding up a shaky hand towards Oko.

  “I must say, it was an impressive display of strength,” Oko said, returning Dusclops to its ball and depositing him back on his belt. “However, you must always be aware of your opponent’s possibilities. Especially when they do something so odd as letting their Pokémon get hit so many times.”

  “Alright, you’ve made your point,” Whitney said, wiping away the tears forming around her eyes. Taking a moment to collect herself, she held out a Pokeball and returned Miltank to safety. “Let me get a chance to get Miltank healed up and we’ll start training as soon as possible.”

  “Oh, you won’t need her,” Oko said. “She can take a well-deserved rest while you go through the training.”

  The sting of a painful loss was overcome by the look of pure bewilderment on Whitney’s face. “How am I supposed to get better as a trainer if I don’t work with my Pokémon?”

  “By getting more in touch with your Miltank of course,” Oko said with a smile.

  “And I’m supposed to do that without her…how exactly?’

  “Well you see we just…ah, it’ll be easier just to show you.”

  Digging into his pocket, Oko held up a black Pokeball similar to the ones around his waist. The main difference was a large black eye in the center that seemed to stare right into Whitney’s soul. Mesmerized by the Pokeball’s gaze, she failed to notice Oko point the ball at her. Pressing the button on the side, Oko let loose a bolt of white energy from the ball that shot straight out at Whitney.

  Whitney crumpled to the floor as the bright light encompassed her. For a few moments, Whitney’s mind was a mush of feelings and sensations, simultaneously pleasurable and revolting. Watching her leader twitch on the ground, Victoria was paralyzed in fear of what to do while Oko continued to bathe her in the mysterious light. Just as quickly as the light came out, a quick click of the button was enough to shut off the beam and end Whitney’s spasms.

  “W-what did you just do to me?” Whitney asked, standing up on her wobbling legs.

  “You’ll see in a moment,” Oko said, keeping his eyes trained on her.

  “You won’t have a moment,” she said, trying her best to form her shaky hand into a fist. “Tell me what you’ve done to me or else I’ll MILLLLL!”

  Whitney clamped her hands around her mouth as she heard the familiar cry of her Miltank. Daring to open her mouth again, she tried to speak just to hear the same sound pass out of her lips. Letting out a few distressed cries towards Victoria for help let it sink in that her ability to speak had been replaced with the husky voice of her beloved Pokémon. At a loss for human words, she turned her attention to a pleased looking Oko.

  Whitney took a step towards Oko only to stop as she heard something begin to rip. Looking down, she watched her flat stomach begin to balloon out into a spherical potbelly. Breaking the seams of her shirt allowed her developing gut to freely hang between her legs. The rounded orb of fat turned a light cream color with four strange pink dots forming a square pattern in the center.

  Reaching down to try and push back in her bulging belly, Whitney let out a distressed moo as she glanced at her own fingers. Lifting her hands up to her face, she saw that her fingers had morphed together and hardened into three, hoof-like digits. Fumbling with her bovine fingers, she lifted up her swollen belly to see her feet had burst out of her shoes to show off their cloven hoof appearance.

  Letting her belly slam back down, she heard another tearing noise. Looking over her shoulder, she watched her shorts give way to the bright pink blubber being padded onto her rear. The fabric finally gave out as her butt grew as wide as her barrel-sized belly. Without anything in its way, a long tail grew out from above her rear and extended several feet. The tail hung just a few inches off the ground, leaving the black ball at the end to brush against the floor.

  “Miltaaank?” Whitney cried out to Oko, shuddering as more pink fat was packed onto the rest of her body to even out her hefty form.

  “Don’t worry, you’re nearly complete,” he replied.

  Waddling her widened hips towards the strange trainer, Whitney had to stop as she felt something emerge from atop her head. Grazing her hooves along her hair, she felt a set of nubby horns peeking through the pink strands. Moving her hooves away, she brushed up against her ears, feeling how they had flattened out to better match her other Miltank characteristics. Sliding her hooves off her flickering ears, her eyes focused on her nose turning pitch black as her lower face extended into a Miltank muzzle.

  “Change her back now!” Victoria demanded, as Whitney clutched her chubby face in shock of what she had become.

  “Why stop now?” Oko asked back, not even bothering to glance at Victoria. “She has nearly completed her transformation.”

  “She already looks like someone stuffed a Miltank into an under-sized t-shirt. What else is there?”

  A grin formed on Oko’s face. “The most prominent feature of a Miltank of course. You should know that outside of battle, Miltank are famous for producing quite the commodity.”

  Amidst Whitney’s constant mooing came the sound of what remained of her outfit being torn apart. The last few seams of her top gave way as her modest chest began to swell. Pressing her hooves into her growing mammaries, her digits flicked across her plumped up nipples. The sensations sent a shiver down her spine, a momentary feeling of pleasure overcoming her fear. Breasts reaching the size of ripe watermelons, she peeked past them to discover they weren’t the only things changing.

  The four dots along her stomach grew into long protrusions that matched the width and length of her nipples. Reaching down to her developing udder, all it took was a slight touch from her hooves to send the same feeling of euphoria through her body. As her nipples and teats became as long and thick as overstuffed sausages, white liquid could be seem forming at their tips. Continuously pressing her hooves against her tits and udder brought forth steady droplets of milk that splashed against the gym floor.

  “Hmmm, I might of overdid it a bit,” Oko commented, scratching his chin as Whitney continued to stimulate herself. “Oh well, at least she’ll get a good lesson out of this. Now if you’ll excuse me, I must be off.”

  With a polite bow, Oko turned to make his leave. He managed to get a foot out the door before Victoria ran up and grabbed his shoulder.

  “Where do you think you’re going?” Victoria asked.

  “To other gyms of course,” Oko nonchalantly replied. “My services are needed across the world to help people attain a better relationship with their Pokémon.”

  “What about Whitney? You can’t just leave her like that.”

  “Oh don’t worry about it, she’ll turn back to normal…eventually.”

  “Eventually!?”

  “Calm down, shouldn’t be too long. However, if you really want to expediate the process, giving her a helping hand with her swollen teats might help.”

  Victoria’s hand slid off of Oko’s shoulder. “Wait, you don’t mean I need to-”

  “Like I said, it’s only if you want to change her back faster,” Oko said, walking outside of the gym. “Have a nice day.”

  Victoria’s blank expression of disbelief left her silent as she watched the mysterious trainer walk further away with each passing second. Turning back towards the gym, she saw her precious leader sitting on the floor, her hooves fumbling with her breasts and udder and slathering the floor with her milk. Realizing how bad it would look if someone were to come by and see Whitney in her strange state, Victoria made a split decision.

  “We have to go,” Victoria said, pocketing Miltank’s discarded Pokeball before running up to Whitney to help her onto her feet.

  “Mil-mil?” Whitney asked, slowly rising from the ground.

  “I’m taking you to your room,” Victoria replied, dragging the transformed leader away from the gym floor. “I’ll think of what to do with you when we get there.”

  Dragging Whitney down the hall with a trail of milk behind them, Victoria heaved a sigh of relief as she laid eyes on the door to Whitney’s room. Pushing the door with her shoulder, Victoria brought Whitney over to her bed. Setting the cow woman down onto the mattress, she paced around the room trying to think of what to do next.

  “Mil-Miltank,” Whitney called out, seemingly begging for Victoria to do something.

  “I know, I know,” Victoria replied, not having a clue what her leader was saying. “That freak said you’d change back, but I don’t believe him for a second.”

  “Miiilllll,” Whitney cried out, her hooves running across her plump breasts and leaking udder.

  Victoria understood at least some of what Whitney was trying to convey. Oko’s words stuck in her head, no matter how much she wanted to forget them. Looking at Whitney’s needy gaze, Victoria was forced to make a decision. “I’ll be right back,” she said, leaving the room.

  A few minutes later, Victoria returned with eight buckets hanging from her arms. The buckets were used for milking Whitney’s Miltank on a regular basis. As she carried the buckets over to the bed, Whitney’s eyes lit up. The gym leader’s panic was replaced with excitement, bouncing her pudgy form against the bed and sprinkling the floor with stray droplets of milk.

  “Get on the ground and get on all fours.” Victoria said, unable to look Whitney in the eye as she got everything setup.

  Whitney obediently did as she was told, practically belly flopping off of her bed. Crawling over to the middle of the room, she waited patiently as Victoria placed a bucket beneath her breasts. Reaching her hands towards Whitney’s boobs, Victoria had to tell herself multiple times that this was all for the sake of the woman she admired most and to uphold the reputation of the gym.

  Daintily grasping Whitney’s nipples, Victoria gingerly pulled on them. The drops of milk came out in a trickle that splashed inside the empty basket. Each pull brought with it a soft moo from Whitney, her body shivering each time Victoria released more of her milk. Getting a feel for Whitney’s odd body, Victoria increased the speed and strength of her milking. Whitney’s euphoric cries grew louder as the trickle of milk became a steady stream that gradually filled up the bucket.

  Filling the first bucket up to the brim, Victoria pushed it aside and dragged a second one beneath Whitney’s udder. Even after groping and yanking on Whitney’s tits, she found it hard to even touch the strange protrusions hanging off of the spherical belly. Urged on by her own sense of duty and a numerous needy cries from her leader, she grabbed the thick teats and started to pull.

  The flow of Whitney’s udder was like a raging river that poured out milk like a waterfall into the bucket below. Whitney began to scream in ecstasy, her tongue hanging out of her mouth as her body shook with pleasure. Filling up the second bucket in mere seconds, Victoria moved onto a third and then a fourth. The feeling of the meaty udders between her fingers never lost its surrealness to Victoria. At the very least, she took solace in the fact that Whitney was enjoying herself.

  For the longest hour of her life, Victoria sat on the ground in an attempt to milk Whitney dry. Her hands shifted between Whitney’s bosom and udder at regular intervals, her touch acting as a personal massager to the gym leader’s oversensitive teats. The sound of buckets overflowing with milk was interspersed with Whitney’s constant cries of euphoria. Whenever Victoria got a chance to glance at Whitney, she saw a look of pure bliss on the gym leader’s morphed face. Powering through her odd task and the thought of what the other trainers in the gym would say if they saw if they saw Whitney like this, Victoria managed to fill up all eight buckets.

  Pulling the last bucket away just before the milk spilled over the rim, Victoria took a look at what she had accomplished. Daring to dip her finger into one of the buckets, a small taste made it appear as just abnormally sweet Miltank milk. Lowering herself to the floor, she noticed that some of the swelling in Whitney’s chest had gone down and the protrusions along her stomach had started to recede.

  “It’s a start at least,” Victoria sighed, coming up to face Whitney.

  “Mmmm…mmmm,” Whitney struggled to speak.

  “What is it? You know I can’t understand-“

  “Mmmmooooooooorrrrreee,” Whitney moaned, the first semi-human sound she had made since her transformation.

  “Um, sure,” Victoria said, quickly getting up off the ground. Setting the buckets aside to figure out what to do with them later, she started walking out of the room in search of more containers to store Whitney’s milk. Looking back at her gym leader, she watched her lazily play with her teats in anticipation of more stimulation. Leaving her expectant leader in the room, Victoria continued her task, using her time alone to think of what she would say to Whitney about their little experience once everything was over.

[precuredaily]

Precure Day 147

Episode: Futari wa Precure Splash Star 48 - “The Final Battle! The Stolen Land of Greenery!” Date watched: 28 July 2019 Original air date: 21 January 2007 Screenshots: https://imgur.com/a/XoatG4O Project info and master list of posts: http://tinyurl.com/PCDabout

I’ve got bad news

This episode has it all: a fantastic fight, huge stakes, crippling defeat, near-death experiences, the destruction of the world.... wait that doesn’t sound good at all. Hmm.

The Plot

Gohyaan has destroyed Akudaikaan, revealed himself as the creator of Dark Fall, and brought everyone to the Land of Greenery to find and destroy the Fountain of the Sun. Naturally, the girls don’t really want that to happen and they fight back with everything they have. They pull out all the stops but ultimately Gohyaan is not deterred. He’s about to torture the girls when Princess Filia, still possessing Korone, shows up to stop him. In a freak series of events the Fairy Carafe ends up in the water and begins to glow. It is revealed that Earth’s oceans itself are the Fountain of the Sun.

Visually it’s not very interesting, just the ocean with a yellow glow, but I guess it would have been difficult to live up to the hype. Having found his objective, Gohyaan charges an attack that resembles a black hole, sucking in all life and spirits. Bright and Windy try to stop him with Spiral Star Splash but he blocks the attack, and with the spirits of Earth getting sucked up, they exhaust their spirit energy and detransform. The black hole continues to suck all life from Earth, leaving the entire planet as a dry and barren wasteland.

Gohyaan turns his attention back to the four girls and prepares to destroy them as well, but Michiru and Kaoru block his attack. He reminds them that with Akudaikaan’s life flame gone, their own power and lives are finite, but the pair don’t abandon their friends. They use the last of their energy to flee Gohyaan and land under the dried up Tree of Life, where the Kiryuus collapse, seemingly dead.

Saki and Mai cry while Flappi, Choppi, Moop, Foop, and Korone watch with sadness. However, some keen spotting by Flappi leads to the realization that the soil is not dead, the air is still breatheable, and the moon and wind are still out there. There’s still room for life, and all things have life. Saki and Mai reflect on their families and friends, wishing to see them again, and they pray to all the spirits left on the planet, within all things, to give them strength. The Tree of Life flashes as spirit energy gathers, and restores strength and power to all four girls. As the light fades, they emerge: Saki as Cure Bloom, Mai as Cure Egret, and Michiru and Kaoru have been given the powers of the Moon and Wind respectively. Gohyaan appears and scowls at this latest development, and the credits roll.

Well. It’s about damn time.

The Analysis

I think my favorite part of these finales is wondering how they’re going to fill 3-4 episodes and then being pleasantly surprised by the result. Episode 46: They enter Dark Fall, engage with Akudaikaan in ideology, and show him they’re strong enough to counter him. Ep 47: They truly battle, again exchanging words as much as blows, and with the power of spirits they manage to defeat him. Gohyaan reveals himself. Now episode 48: The girls express how important life, their friends, the spirits, and the planet are to them, they fight, they lose, but their resolve creates a miracle. When I write it out, it sounds a bit silly, but when you actually watch it, it works. There are shows where I take issue with the pacing of the story, but this isn’t one. This battle has been perfectly paced, each episode ending on a cliffhanger for the girls, and then in the subsequent episode, paying it off. Now that Michiru and Kaoru have been given Cure-like powers, things are looking up. The cliffhanger this time is a more positive one. In moments of deepest darkness, the cures’ spirits shine the brightest. Even when the odds are stacked against them, they never give up. And I’m here for it.

The emotional journey through this episode is tense. Even if you kind of know things will work out in the end, seeing Saki and Mai get pushed to their limits is sad, and then seeing Michiru and Kaoru pretty much sacrifice their lives to buy them a few extra minutes is just gut-wrenching. They’ve always gotten a raw deal, they don’t deserve to suffer the way they have, and now that they’re caught between worlds, either side’s defeat could kill them. Yet, they do fight, and they do sacrifice themselves, because they care so much about the two who taught them the value of life. Even if their supposed death only lasts a few minutes before they’re rejuvenated with the Moon and Wind powers, it’s still tragic. Saki and Mai’s resulting anguish at the loss of their friends is also deeply moving.

The fight scene towards the beginning of this episode is fantastic, almost movie quality. Words don’t do it justice, so here’s the video.

It is well-animated, well-choreographed, well-blocked, well-paced. The camera moves around and they don’t hover on still drawings for longer than they have to. Almost as soon as someone lands a blow and Gohyaan shoves them away, someone is ready from a different direction with their own attack he isn’t anticipating. Then that dramatic combination at the end, where the Kiryuus trap him in their energy sphere while Windy crushes him with wind, before Bright bounces up and charges the biggest damn light beam you’ve ever seen, I love every minute of it. This is a Precure fight scene to remember.

Speaking of animation, I want to give special consideration to the detransformation scenes. This is something we rarely see in magical girl anime to begin with, and in Precure it’s exceedingly rare. Usually their whole bodies glow as their outfit dissipates, but here their faces stay normally lit and they subtly blend frames to show their hair and accessories disappearing. It’s really neat, and considering even the movie fudged the detransformation, it’s impressive to see it done on the show.

The one thing that bothers me is the extreme of the raised stakes in these finales. In all three shows so far, the villain has essentially destroyed the world and all the people in it, leaving only themselves and the Precures. When they win, the world is magically restored as though nothing ever happened. It’s the logical extreme of how buildings and scenery mend themselves after their normal battles. I’m willing to overlook that, but when you get to this degree, to the point of destroying the global population, if you can undo that in a snap then how is there any threat at all? At what point do the powers that be say “this is too much, we can’t restore normalcy”? Is it predicated on the Cures winning? I think I questioned this in the FW and Max Heart finales as well, and I don’t think I’ll ever have a satisfactory answer. I’m definitely overthinking it.

Just a minor point of note, this is the only episode in the series to feature Saki and Mai transformed into both Bright and Windy as well as Bloom and Egret. The movie did it but otherwise it’s only ever been one transformation per episode. Technically it still is, they transformed into Bright and Windy two episodes ago and are only now being forced out of it, but it’s still a neat little tidbit.

Next time on Precure Daily, it’s the long-awaited, long overdue Splash Star finale! Look forward to it!

Pink Precure Catchphrase Count: The title of the next episode is literally "Zekkouchou nari! Eien no Hoshizora no Nakamatachi!" Titles are a gray area but it’s been so long without one that I’ll count it as 1.

I’ll hopefully be back in ~10 hours with the last review. I do NOT want to push it to Tuesday for personal reasons.

[jesus-otaku]

Title: 1000 Kisses (Part 7)

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug

Pairing: Ladynoir (aged up about 5 years)

Word count: 2269 oops how’d that happen

Prompt used: 41 (against a locker kiss), requested by anonymous

Prompts already used: 1, 11, 24, 28, 29, 45

You can request a prompt for the next part here. (JUST send the number! If you send a ship I will assume you want a separate fic!)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

I think I had slightly too much fun with this prompt. I will escort myself to the trash bin now.

“We've got a lot of memories from this old place.”

________________________

Ladybug had to admit, she was pretty surprised when an akuma turned up at François Dupont again. It had been a few years since that had last happened.

But, she supposed, the world had no shortage of Chloé Bourgeois types who would be more than happy to trample all over their classmates' lives. And whatever the case, the akuma needed addressing, be it at François Dupont, the Louvre, the Palace of Justice, or the office of the mayor himself. She stammered out a hasty excuse about needing to go back to her dorm to grab a forgotten lucky pencil (which she needn't have bothered with, since her classmates were preoccupied with watching the akuma attack transpire on the news) and minutes later was swinging across Paris to her old school.

It was a peculiar brand of nostalgia, seeing the akuma—Teacher's Pet, in this case—terrorizing the student body and the teachers she had known so well. It almost made her feel like she was fifteen again. The nostalgia was broken a little when Chat Noir, who was definitely not the lanky, barely-taller-than-Ladybug teenager he used to be, joined the fight a few minutes after it started.

“Hey there,” he said to the akuma as he used his baton to block an attack that had been meant for Ladybug, “school's out. What do you say we take this outside, you and me, and have a proper catfight?”

The distraction was all Ladybug needed. Teacher's Pet wasn't a particularly dangerous akuma, and the possessed girl was only a teenager. Now that Ladybug was a little older, fighting a teenager was almost laughably easy. She pinned the girl's arms to her body using her yo-yo, and the pencil she had been using for her attacks clattered to the floor. “You didn't even try with that pun,” she remarked to Chat as he picked up the pencil and snapped it in two. The akuma fluttered free.

“I didn't realize winning this one was going to be such a breeze,” Chat replied, watching as she released the girl and caught up the butterfly that was attempting to escape. “Figured I'd have more time to sneak in at least one or two after that.”

“Bye bye, little butterfly.” She grinned over at him. “Honestly, I was more surprised that the fight even lasted long enough for you to get here. She wasn't exactly a tough opponent.” She glanced around to check for damage, but aside from a few hysterical François Dupont students, she saw none. Teacher's Pet had apparently been neither a threatening nor particularly destructive akuma. By the time she focused again on the formerly possessed girl, her akuma attire had vanished, leaving an ordinary student in its wake.

The girl looked down at herself, and around at the school and her fellow students, in obvious confusion. “What am I…?”

“I'll take care of her,” Chat volunteered with a wink. “Since I missed out on half the battle.” He moved to talk to the student, and Ladybug went the other way to speak to the attack victims.

“Everything's all right now,” she promised the teachers. “But whatever happened, one of you might want to talk to her about it and make sure it's not a problem that will come up again for her.” She paused. “What exactly did happen?”

“She did poorly on a test,” Madame Mendeleiev supplied. “But she seemed fine when she left class. I suggested she discuss the matter with me, since she usually does very well, but she refused.”

Ladybug looked around at the other teachers. They shook their heads and shrugged. “I'll see if her classmates can tell me anything. Thank you, Madame Mendeleiev.” She went to address the few students remaining in the building. Goodness, they were so short! Had she really been that small once? “Do any of you have any idea what happened? Maybe she had a fight with a friend, or somebody teased her about her grade, or…?”

“Amelie did,” a dark-haired boy answered. The brunette girl next to him elbowed him sharply. “Ow! It's true,” he insisted defensively, glaring at the girl. She must have been Amelie. “You made her look bad in front of everybody. She didn't run off crying to the bathroom until after you did that.”

“As if it's my fault she can't take constructive criticism,” the girl snapped.

“Okay, okay, everyone calm down,” Ladybug interrupted. The two kids swiveled their attention back to her. “Amelie, do you do this kind of thing a lot?”

“Do what?” Amelie examined her nails, as if she were bored. It reminded Ladybug of Chloé far more than she wanted it to. “All I did was tell her my opinion. She's the one who blew the whole thing out of proportion and turned into that…thing.”

“Akuma.”

“Please.” Amelie rolled her eyes at Ladybug. “Whatever she turned into, it sure didn't qualify as an akuma.”

Ladybug sighed. Amelie seemed more and more like a second Chloé the longer she kept talking. Which was the last thing she wanted to deal with right now. “She was akumatized by Hawk Moth, so even if she didn't seem like that bad of a threat, she was still an akuma. And I would really hope that in the future, you're going to do your best not to do anything that might make somebody become one.” She clapped a hand on Amelie's shoulder. “Okay? Paris will stay safer if you're a little kinder to everyone. Can you promise me you'll try to be nicer?”

Amelie's defensive attitude melted in an instant. “Well, I guess if Ladybug asks me to, then…”

“Great.” She patted Amelie's shoulder, thanked the boy for speaking up, and then went back over to the teachers to let them know the problem had been identified and resolved. Chat Noir joined her, the formerly akumatized girl in tow.

“Madame Mendeleiev, would you see to it that she makes it home?” Ladybug suggested, ushering the girl towards her teacher. “I'm sure a talk about her test would help more than she thinks.”

“Of course.” Madame Mendeleiev walked the girl towards the school entrance. Principal Damocles was already ushering the rest of the students out—school had technically ended at least half an hour ago. Chat turned to Ladybug.

“So, what say you we walk around a bit and relive the past?” he suggested, folding his hands behind his head. “We've got a lot of memories from this old place.”

More than you realize, Ladybug thought with a smile. She headed for the stairs to the second floor. “I guess a quick jaunt wouldn't hurt.”

That peculiar brand of nostalgia came back as they meandered around the building, poking their heads into classrooms and offices. There was her old desk, where she used to sit right behind Adrien, and the classroom where she and Adrien had almost kissed for Nino's student film before Chloé and Horrificator had cut the filming short. There was the library where she had run up against the Evillustrator for the first time, and had beaten Max at Ultimate Mecha Strike 3, and seen the footage of Stone Heart when she had first become Ladybug so long ago. There were the benches where she and Alya had sat, day after day, ogling over magazines and looking at Alya's latest posts on the Ladyblog and scheming up new plans for how to make Adrien fall in love with Marinette. But of course she couldn't share those memories with Chat. No, the two of them made a game of recalling all the akumas they had fought at this building. Reflekta, the Evillustrator, Horrificator, Stone Heart. The classics, the ones that had happened long enough ago that their memories of the fights themselves were all jumbled up, the ones all the way back in the first year of the team Ladybug and Chat Noir. Miss Take, Harlequin, Teacher's Pet. The newer ones that had come in the years since, the ones where they could have reenacted the whole battle sequence if they wanted to, the more and more desperate attempts made by Hawk Moth to snatch the Miraculous. It really made her realize just how much they had been through together, and how much she had willfully ignored his unwavering support and presence for so long.

Before she knew it, they had wandered downstairs and were standing by the lockers at the end of their unofficial tour, and Chat was chuckling to himself about some of the jokes he had made in the past, and she said, somewhat without thinking, “It's kind of weird, how I miss this place and don't miss it at the same time.”

Chat tipped his head to one side in curiosity. “What do you mean?”

She shrugged. “Just…this used to be such a big part of our lives—of my life—and now I'm standing here and I could tell you exactly which locker used to be mine, but if I opened it now it would have some other girl's stuff in it, some other kid who's still learning who she is and where she wants to go in life, and it's not mine anymore, not really, but it still feels like mine because it used to be. You know?” To hell if he knew she used to go to François Dupont. There were plenty of alumni, it wasn't like he would be able to identify her with that information anymore like he could have back when she went here. “And this school used to be a hub for akumas every time we so much as blinked but now it's not, and it feels weird coming here to fight one and seeing them go after new kids who remind me of my old class but aren't the same at all.”

“Wait, you—” Chat was staring at her now, one finger pointing at her, like she had just announced she was secretly the president of France. “You used to go here?”

She blinked. What was the big deal about that? “Um…yeah?”

He was still staring, and if his eyes got any bigger Ladybug was pretty sure they were just going to pop straight out of his skull. “I used to go here too.”

Ohhh no.

Now it was Ladybug's turn to stare, more in horror than in shock. She'd messed up. She'd messed up big time.

She knew what was coming now.

Sure enough, the next thing out of Chat's mouth was “when did you go here? We could have been right next to each other in school the whole time!”

She waved a hand vaguely. “Um, you know…a few years ago…it's been a while…”

“Really? I started attending about f—” He was cut off as Ladybug slapped her hands over his mouth. He looked down at her with a perplexed, reproachful expression.

“Secret identities, kitten,” she reminded him, refusing to meet his eyes and instead fixing her gaze on his bell. “I used to go here, that's all you need to know. Please don't try to get me to tell you any more.”

He sighed and moved her hands away from his mouth. “All right,” he said, “I won't ask. I won't tell you when I attended here, either. We can just talk.” His cat ears were drooping, though, and she knew that some part of him was still horribly disappointed.

She kissed him, the only form of apology she could think of that wouldn't fall entirely flat. “Thank you.”

Chat traced her cheek with one finger. “Anything for you, my lady.” He leaned in to kiss her back. “You know, it's almost a shame we don't both go to François Dupont anymore.”

“Oh?” She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, tangling her fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck. “Why's that?”

“We could have had romantic rendezvous right here,” he replied in an exaggeratedly seductive voice, making her giggle. “Just think about it. Making terrible excuses to our teachers, sneaking down here, kissing by the lockers…”

“We'd get caught pretty fast,” she pointed out. She touched her forehead to his, and he shrugged off her comment with a dismissive wave.

“We wouldn't get caught if we were careful,” he said. “Here, let me demonstrate.” He scooped her up in his arms to carry her towards one of the rows of lockers. When she was flush against the locker doors, he pulled the one next to them open, effectively hiding them from view of anyone looking in. “Just like this, see? And we could kiss until the bell rang.”

She smiled at the self-satisfied look on his face. “Clever kitty. But you know, I think I like our nighttime rendezvous on the rooftops better. Less risky.”

“You're just saying that because we've never kissed somewhere we could get caught.”

She shrugged playfully. “What can I say? I like my safety.”

“No, you don't. You took a flying leap off the school roof today to get at Teacher's Pet.”

“Akumas are different.”

“Right. Because you're used to them.” He leaned in, until their lips were almost touching. “You're used to taking risks with them. Take a risk on a kiss for once. You might like it.”

And for a minute, as Chat Noir kissed her and she was pinned harder and harder against the locker behind her and she threaded her fingers through his hair and forgot the sound of her own name, she almost felt like she was fifteen, hiding and making out behind the lockers with the only boy she'd ever really loved and hoping that Principal Damocles wouldn't see them.

And she liked it.

[burnsopale]

Beyblade WIP: Truth or Dare

Working title: Truth or Dare Summary: The BBA, PPB and Majestics, along with Mao, Rai, Yuriy and Sergei, are staying in Olivier’s summer house for a week. They blade, swim, explore the cliffs, hang out and enjoy themselves, but when you have so many hormonal seventeen-year-olds in the same house, tensions will arise. To settle them, Olivier proposes a special game of Truth or dare. Story rating: Mature Excerpt rating: General audiences (there’s alcohol, but they’re old enough to drink it)

Author’s notes: Flaggermousse has been posting so much amazing art, I wanted to contribute something to this fandom too. So here’s a slice of my WIP, sixty pages long and growing. In the excerpt below they are playing Never Have I Ever, with Olivier reading out statements and the players drinking to answer “yes”, or not drinking for “no”. The prose isn’t polished, but hopefully you’ll get some entertainment out of it.

"These next two statements should be interesting." Olivier gave them a moment to anticipate before reading them the first one. "I have cried because I lost a beybattle."

Johnny's hand tightened around the stem of his glass. He looked around.

Max drank easily, honest and unashamed. Mao drank with a small self-deprecating smile. Rai and Rei both drank, and then looked at each other in surprise.

Takao appeared similarly surprised to see Kyouju, beside him, take a hard swallow of his rosé wine.

"Manabu ..."

Kyouju looked away.

Takao tried to laugh. "Hey, why didn't you tell me, Kyouju?"

"Yeah, Manabu, you know we'd be there for you, don't you?" Max added.

Kyouju shrugged, clearly uncomfortable. "It was a long time ago."

Takao put a hand on his back. "What happened?"

Kyouju shook his head. "Believe it or not, I used to think I could be like you ... a champion." He grinned, a forced, awkward thing. "But I'm not that good, so ... When I realised, I ..."

Takao pulled him in and put his forehead against his clever friend's. "I wouldn't be where I am today without you, Manabu. You're as much a champion as me, as anyone in this room. Don't forget that."

There were murmurs of agreement all around.

"Your knowledge and technical abilities are incredible," Ralf said. "Be proud of what you are, don't cry for what you could have been."

Kyouju sniffed a little. Takao nuzzled his temple affectionately.

"Hey, Rai, when did you ...?" Rei asked.

Rai crossed his arms over his chest, wine glass tipping precariously in his hand, threatening to spill onto Johnny. "It was a tumultuous year, and a significant tournament. I suspect you'll find most of us drink to that year more often than not."

Rei looked at him. "Was it me?"

Rai shrugged. "I'd rather not talk about it." Then his narrowed eyes met Rei's again. "What about you? You don't usually resort to tears, even in frustration."

Rei smiled sarcastically. "Like you said, it was a significant tournament." He turned to Eddie. "And there was one battle in particular that ... stung me."

"I'm sorry." Eddie sat forward with his elbows on his knees. "I got really lucky with that dish."

"You still won by a mile. But don't worry about it; it's in the past."

"Hey, Emily?" Steve had been restless in his seat for a while. "You tell us when things upset you, right? It's not just the BBA that can lean on each other, you know?"

She glanced at him sharply. "What are you getting at?"

He hesitated for a moment, looking at Olivier. "... You didn't drink ... but you should have."

Olivier looked down at her. "Oh? Do we have our first penalty, mademoiselle?"

Her mouth fell open. "What-No! Just because Steve says-"

"We've seen you," Michael said. "I'm sorry, Emily. But it's okay to get overwhelmed sometimes." He exhaled hard through his nose, swirling his beer around in the bottle. "The PPB board expects us to win everything all the time. Director Judy has to explain every single loss to the investors and the big shots. If we don't perform, they'll just replace us. We live by strict schedules, write down every calorie we consume, and have to ace every test and win every battle without breaking a sweat. Sometimes it's just too much."

Johnny swallowed some of his prejudices; he hadn't considered that their enormous support system could be as much a curse as a blessing.

Emily's mouth was tight with anger, but she obediently toed out of her flats and slipped off her ankle socks, tucking them in underneath the couch.

"Here's to the evening's first penalty." Olivier emptied his glass.

"It won't stand alone for long," Giancarlo said, turning to Johnny. "You’re usually a pretty good liar, but this time ..."

Johnny's stomach knotted tight, tight. "I didn't lie," he said automatically. He'd been breathing a little easier as everyone's attention had been elsewhere for a while, but now they were looking at him again.

"Two years ago," Giancarlo said kindly. "Our first European tournament, after the finale, before the award ceremony. You thought you were alone in the locker room, but I was in the bathroom. I heard you."

It had hurt so much. Once the immediate anger had dissipated, it had been all he could do to get to the locker before the hot, shamed tears spilled over. His one skill. The one thing he did better than anyone, the one thing none of his siblings could compete with him in, the one thing that made his father beam with pride. Ruined. Once again he was second best. Not good enough.

Ralf was looking at him with surprise and concern. "Johnny."

It was unbearable.

"Yeah, yeah, fuck, whatever." He unlaced his brogues, rolled his hose together and placed it neatly together under the couch, copying Emily. "Just move on."

"This one might be easier," Olivier obeyed mercifully. "I have cried because I won a beybattle."

Almost no one drank. The exceptions were Max and Sergei.

"Wow," Max said, laughing. "I didn't think there would be so few."

Yuriy's hand returned to Sergei's shoulder, wordlessly.

“Let's try something different then. This is a question that needs a proper answer, and you’ll go one by one. I want you to turn to your left …” Johnny looked at Max, conscious at the same time of Rai looking at him. “And decide what you most admire about the person sitting there. Emily, you get to start.”

“I like how you assume we all admire each other,” she said to Olivier without taking her eyes off Kai, studying him like he was a particularly interesting type of beetle.

Kai smirked. “I know you like me.”

Emily adjusted her glasses. “I suppose your confidence is admirable, but in the end, your extreme Beyblading skills are what impress me the most. You have speed, power, agility, and a clever tactical mind.” Her own smile was bloodthirsty. “And one of these days I will have all the data I need to take you apart.”

He snorted. “We’ll see.”

“As much as your flirting is entertaining, I need you to turn around, Kai.” Olivier drummed his fingers on the clipboard. “Tell us something you admire about Takao.”

“Nothing,” Kai said without even turning.

“Aww, Kai.” Kinomiya pouted. “You’re hurting my feelings.”

Kai rolled his eyes and shifted smoothly over to stare at his team’s star member.

Kinomiya put his index fingers to his cheeks and tilted his head, making himself cute. “Do you admire my face?”

“I admire your lack of subtlety,” Kai said, vein in his forehead popping.

“Breathe, Kai,” Rei said, making himself comfortable in his seat. “Just tell him he’s cute or something.”

Kinomiya nodded. “Tell me I’m cute.”

Kai sighed, looking away. “You’re not cute at all. But you have an ability to reach people that I … suppose I admire. You wake people up to the constructs they’ve trapped themselves in. Set them free.”

“I'm not sure what that means, but I take it as a compliment,” Kinomiya laughed. “Thanks, Kai.”

[...]

[love-killed-the-superstar]

Roses Are Lame, Roses Are Blue: Chapter 8

so, er, there’s really no fucking excuse for this???? except that when i don’t know how to write a chapter i will just procrastinate on it for literally years?? seriously someone just punch me

Title: Chapter 8: Flowers Are Without Hope Pairing: RespectShipping (Ash/Drew) Summary: A/D. Ash and Drew have never had the chance to see eye to eye, mostly due to the two living in the different trainer classes of pokemon trainer and pokemon coordinator. But when Drew proves he's a worthy opponent after winning a battle against Ash, the two find their lives are lacking a rivalry in which the latter respects the former. RespectShipping, M/M, slash.

(Chapter 8 - On Cloud Arcanine. Or, the one where Ash and Drew spend all screen time furiously avoiding looking at each other.)

Read on Fanfiction.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8711638/8/Roses-Are-Lame-Roses-Are-Blue

8: Flowers Are Without Hope

-Kanto Route 5, August 18th, 2005-

“I can't believe this line, May,” Ash grumbled, glancing at the long queue in front of them. “These gourmet cakes of yours better be worth it.”

“Oh, they will be,” May chirped, glancing up from her guide book for a few moments to smile reassuringly. “My guidebook calls it the best bakery around!”

The best bakery around? Ash couldn't say he'd ventured out of Pallet Town much as a kid but he'd never heard of this bakery before, so surely it couldn't be that great. (Unless it was the one that Professor Oak always used to buy those stale cream puffs from whenever Ash and Gary had helped him out with fieldwork in the corral. If it was that bakery he'd rather fight a wild arcanine than choke them down.)

The group were on their way to Saffron City in order for May to start competing in Kanto contests in order to enter the Kanto Grand Festival being held in the Indigo Plateau. Ash was happy for May wanting to explore the region, he really was, but he didn't see why they had to stop at all the dumb places marked in her guidebook. If they rewound a few years and travelled this route with Misty, would they still be stopping at all these places? Ash wasn't sure. Either way, he was more than a little agitated when thinking about all the time they were wasting standing around this crowded joint.

As he shuffled from foot to foot irritably, a strange howl erupted from the clearing behind the bakery, and onlookers watched in amazement as an auburn shape bounded towards them, releasing another growl.

“That's an arcanine!” Ash exclaimed, pulling out his pokedex. Hopefully his updated dex would have new information following Professor Oak's extensive examinations of his grandson's arcanine over the years.

The cries of the public increased as the pokemon grew closer, once again crying out powerfully. With a spring in its step, the fire pokemon leapt gracefully over the group, landing perfectly before continuing to speed off into the distance.

“That was cool!” Max beamed, watching as the large orange figure grew smaller.

“I'd love to catch it,” sighed May, clasping her hands together excitedly. As they continued to watch it, in awe of its speed, a new voice joined the fray.

“Arcanine!”

Ash's eyes widened and he spun round rapidly, a little dizzy.

“Look, it's Drew!”

But why? What was Drew even doing here? The last time Ash had saw him...

Ash watched his closet rival as he chased the minute flaxen shape in the distance, eyes shining, grin confident.

“Go, Flygon, flamethrower!”

With a cry, Drew's pokemon spat out a powerful fire that blazed at the arcanine's feet. With a roar from deep in its belly, the arcanine retaliated with an equally strong attack that streamed from its open jaws.

“Look, Arcanine's using heatwave!” Max gasped, eyes wide. The flygon hastily dodged the attack, unnerved by it. Annoyed by the harassment, the arcanine released a sudden burst of energy, speeding off into the trees.

“What's that?” Ash asked, bewildered.

“Now it's using its extreme speed,” Max observed, unable to tear his eyes away.

“It got away!” Drew stopped in front of the group, fists clenched and teeth grinding. Ash had rarely seen him so wound up over a pokemon... that said, Ash had never seen Drew catch a pokemon before, had he? He supposed the latter would probably want to do some sort of intimate pre-battle routine, bowing at his pokemon before charging in with another freaking petal dance. He doubted he'd expected company at all.

May stared for a few moments, mouth still gaping as she watched the spot where the arcanine had been, before turning to face Brock quizzically.

“So what's extreme speed, Brock?”

“It's an attack that increases a pokemon's speed,” Brock explained simply, “and by using it in battle it will almost always guarantee you the first attack.”

“Only an amateur would ask a question like that, May,” Drew smirked, approaching the group smugly. May frowned but held back from verbally attacking him, simply muttering, “I didn't know you were here in Kanto too, Drew.”

Ash was kind of wondering about that too.

“Real winners can never resist competition,” Drew said, flicking his fringe back, “though that does make me wonder why you're here.”

Don't take the bait, May, Ash grumbled silently.

“Can't you try to be polite?” she snapped, planting on her hips while scowling at the smug-faced coordinator opposite. Drew's smirk deepened.

“I guess this means that you've come to enter the Kanto Grand Festival too, huh?” Brock intervened, frowning a little at Drew, the latter turning his head slightly as he spoke.

“Well, more accurately I'm here to win it.”

“You're in luck for most annoying but I'm winning the festival!”

The competitive banter came to an abrupt halt as Drew reached into his pocket. “Yeah? Think so?” As he spoke, the small golden case he was holding flicked open, revealing a small glossy orange ribbon. “Check it out.”

May gasped, eyes wide.

“Huh? Is that a genuine Kanto contest ribbon?!”

“That it is.”

May groaned, fists clenched.

“I still haven't won a single one of those!”

“Well of course you haven't.” Again with the damn hair flipping, Ash seethed. He was starting to believe Drew did it to hide that he was bullshitting everything. “I'm on my way to catch that arcanine now so I can continue winning my way through Kanto.”

“For your information I'm gonna catch that arcanine!” retorted May, rising to his challenge as usual.

“I'd love to see you try.” He put his hands back in his pockets. “But I'd hate to see you humiliated.”

May stamped her foot in frustration.

“I'm gonna show you!”

Drew's eyes met with Ash's for just a moment, sharp and impossible to read, before he turned back to his flygon.

“Let's go, Flygon. Let's go get that arcanine!”

Without looking back, he began to run, his flygon following suit, and part of Ash felt hollow. It was a simple rivalry behind the scenes, just as it had been before, but... it felt like Drew was being deliberately cold towards him.

Still, he forced a smile. It wouldn't do any good to make his friends worry when May was so fired up about catching this arcanine, and besides, if it meant May wouldn't pick up on the change between Ash and Drew since she'd last seen them both, it was for the best.

“Wow, Drew's flygon is really something else,” Max remarked.

“Who cares?” snapped May. “I'm about to show him something else! And capturing that arcinine will be the perfect way to start!” Ash had to admit, seeing the look on Drew's face if – no, when – May captured the pokemon before him was a satisfying thought.

“Yeah, and we can all help you out!” Pikachu expressed a noise of agreement, and May grinned and took off after Drew.

“Let's go then!”

Max caught up with her quickly and began firing off questions – which pokemon was she planning on using? Did she have a strategy in mind for dealing with arcanine, and did she even know its most common attacks? – Brock fell into step with Ash.

“So,” he said in a low voice. “Drew's in Kanto. Did you know?”

“No,” Ash said shortly. “No, I didn't know where he was going any more than you did.”

“I was just asking,” Brock said quickly. He paused. “Did you two talk, in the end? About everything that happened?”

“Brock, can we not do this now?” Ash interrupted, trying not to raise his voice. “Anything that was happening between me and Drew, it's sorted now. It won't happen again. And bringing it up is only gonna make May suspicious, and right now her heart is set on capturing arcanine.”

Brock watched him silently for a few moments, before shrugging.

“Okay. But later, if you want to talk...”

“I know,” Ash exhaled. “You'll be here. I know.”

…

Most of the morning and afternoon were spent trying and failing to engage in battle with the arcanine. It clearly wasn't looking to partner up with a trainer any time soon, and Ash's patience was waning thin. May was driven, however, and their latest endeavour involved them crouched behind a rock, high up in the mountains.

“So tell me again why we're up here?” Max piped up, also visibly impatient with May's boundless energy.

“Cause this is our last chance,” Ash ground out.

“The old woodsman said Arcanine likes to come up here,” Brock explained. “So if it does we'll have it cornered on the ledge with nowhere else to run!”

“And with no more distractions like pecha berries what could possibly go wrong?” chimed in May, with a look of pure energized determination on her face.

Squirtle uttered a confused grunt, and the group glanced over. Arcanine was making its way towards the edge of the mountainside, and Brock hissed, “There it is!”

“Go get it, May!” urged Ash, half-excited and half wanting the excursion to be over already. He couldn't deny how cool it would be if May did capture the arcanine after all, though. Especially if it meant she had beaten Drew to it.

May stepped forward with Squirtle in her arms, giggling in anticipation, and the arcanine whipped around.

“So, Arcanine, this time you're not getting away!” May began, but at that moment, as per usual, Drew jumped in without missing a beat, landing a few paces in front of May with his flygon in tow. May gasped.

“Go, Flygon!” Drew called, smug determination written all over his face. Something in Ash's blood boiled. A small part of him enjoyed the way Drew's face lit up when he was facing an opponent, but the rest of him despised that even more. This was supposed to be May's victory.

“What are you doing?!” May squeaked out in indignation. “I was here first, Drew!”

“Hardly,” Drew scoffed. “I was up on that ledge since this morning.”

Arcanine, sensing the tension between the two, took that moment to leap over their heads and sprint up the mountainside and out of sight. May groaned as it disappeared from view.

“Great!” she snarled, glaring pointedly at Drew. “Thanks to you Arcanine got away and now neither one of us has it!”

“Please. Like you ever had a chance of catching it anyway.”

“How dare you, Drew!” May burst out, seething. “If you think you're so great let's have a battle right now to see who gets to go after Arcanine!”

Drew reached up to flick his fringe out of his eyes, and Ash fought the urge to roll his eyes.

“Huh! I guess a little warm up practice won't hurt.”

As they got into position, Ash caught Drew's eye.

Just let her have this one, he mouthed. He knew it was unfair – May could fight her own battles, she certainly didn't need his protection – but something inside of him was just begging Drew to show some sort of mercy. Drew stared right through him.

Brock raised his arms.

“Let this one-on-one pokemon battle begin!” he called.

“I'll give you the first move,” Drew said. For a moment, his gaze flickered over to Ash, and Ash found himself relieved. At least Drew wasn't completely blanking him, even if he was, as usual, impossible to read.

“You'll probably regret that,” countered May, fuelled by the urge to one up him. “Squirtle, start with tackle!”

Inwardly, Ash groaned.

“Why'd she start off with that?!” he asked aloud.

“And all Drew has to do is...”

“Go, Flygon, fly!”

Flygon easily dodged the attack, and Ash fought the urge to bury his face in his hands.

The battle ended badly and Drew, determined to one up May, was the first to reach the top of the mountain. Once they discovered the nest, they weren't sure where to go from there, but Team Rocket had, as usual, interrupted and captured the entire family of pokemon.

Ash seriously wondered if Team Rocket had any other hobbies besides gatecrashing their travels.

Surprisingly, Drew had stuck around to help, and his flygon had burst Team Rocket's balloon, sending them hurtling into the brush below. The group chased Team Rocket to where they crashed, the growlithe cubs and arcanine still trapped in the net, and both Ash and Brock reached for their pokeballs.

“We got them! Let's go, Brock!”

“Right!”

May interrupted.

“Wait.”

Ash stopped in his tracks, brow furrowed in confusion.

“Let Drew and I finish it up this time,” she said with a grin.

Drew's eyes met Ash's.

“Yeah, since we were the ones who started this whole thing off.”

Ash, surprised and just relieved Drew was talking to him at this time, didn't need much convincing.

“All right, it's all yours!”

Drew turned away quickly, and the moment was over.

“Come on, Flygon, we gotta rescue Arcanine!” He stabbed a finger towards Team Rocket. “Steel wing the net!”

Flygon cut the net down easily, and May and Drew engaged in a double battle against Team Rocket. Between calling out attacks, the two were complimenting each other on their form, and Ash felt a twinge of something in his chest. Jealousy, maybe? Loneliness? Longing? At this point, he couldn't sort out one feeling from another when it came to Drew. Everything turned into a cluster of messy emotions.

As Flygon took out Jessie's dustox with a flamethrower, Ash felt himself being drawn into the battle, like a dance.

“Yeah!”

“Those two are a great team!” he exclaimed.

“Even though their styles are totally different they work well together,” Brock remarked.

Were they all that different? Ash had always seen an eerie similarity to their fighting styles, even if their attitudes, training methods and the way they presented in contests were polar opposites. He was sure they would both hate being compared to one another, but Ash didn't necessarily see it as being a bad thing – in fact, it reminded him of Gary, and how the two of them had been like opposite sides of a coin, different and yet somehow the same.

Rivals. That was how he'd see it. Different and yet tethered together.

After Team Rocket were blasted off, the group stood for a while watching Arcanine groom its cubs. Ash turned to May.

“There it is. So, did you change your mind about catching it?”

May nodded.

“Yep.” She turned to Drew. “Well, go ahead...”

Drew shook his head slightly, still with that damn smile.

“As much as I think I could win with it, I don't wanna break up a happy family.” He hummed, brushing his fringe away from his face once more. “So I'll let them be.”

How generous, Ash thought dryly. May seemed satisfied with his response, and they all watched as the arcanine led its litter away.

…

“Hey.”

Drew turned to see Ash standing a few feet from him, fists clenching and unclenching with nerves. They had trailed back to the bakery May had suggested earlier for a victory snack, and the two of them had left to use the bathroom while May, Max and Brock queued. Only, Drew realised, it had been a ploy on Ash's part to get him alone.

“Can we not do this now?” he muttered.

“We have to. Drew, we need to talk,” Ash said, pushing his hair back self-consciously. “I... I thought you might call me one of these days. It's been weeks, you know, since we last talked.”

Drew's eyes narrowed.

“I have nothing to say to you.”

“We need to talk about this, you know? I'm sorry things went so weird on the phone last time. I didn't want it to be that way, it's just... I was freaked out. My mom found out about us, and I didn't know what to do. It made me realise how mixed up my feelings were, how bad the timing was. If I knew you were going to Kanto too...”

“What, you would have arranged a dinner date?” Drew snapped. “Get real, Ash. This was never going to work, was it? I don't know why I held on to some kind of hope that things would get better between us.”

“I want things to!” Ash pleaded. “I want us to be how we were before – before things got all weird and intense! Why can't we just be rivals for a while again, and see where it goes from here? Please, I don't want to lose what we have.”

“You can't lose something that was never there to begin with,” Drew said sourly. “No one knows about this rivalry, so is it even real?”

“Stop trying to shut me down with, with psychology or whatever,” burst out Ash, fuming. “I believed in you as my rival, even if we kept it a secret. I learned from you. You made me interested in contests! You're telling me none of that was real? How could I feel these things if there was no rivalry at all?!”

“Then why don't we just tell them? Why not just admit that we're rivals?”

Ash frowned.

“What do you mean? I... I thought you liked that this was something private.”

“Why does it have to be?” Drew countered. “I mean, you never thought it was weird that we were keeping it hidden from them? But I'm the stupid one for reading into it, right?”

“That's not what I'm saying!” Ash interrupted. “Of course I don't think that! But... but we kept it a secret before these feelings started coming up, don't you see? It's always been about improving each other, opening our eyes to other ways of battling and training! I don't get why that has to change?”

“It would be so easy to just tell her, Ash.” Drew's voice was flat. “We could tell May we're rivals too. Right here, right now, we could tell her together. It would be so simple.”

“You know she wouldn't like it,” Ash said in a defeated voice.

“She'd get over it. You two aren't my only rivals, and I know for a fact I'm not yours. One of these days May will find someone else to call her rival, too.” Drew's eyes bore into Ash. “Why can't we just be honest with her?”

“She's so pumped just being with you. I don't want to ruin it,” he said desperately. “But I don't want to end what we have either, Drew. Please.”

“I've kept quiet for you, Ash. You don't want them to know about our rivalry – you're ashamed of the feelings we have! I'm... I'm done being your secret.” Drew stared at him coldly, and then looked down. “Until next time.”

“Drew, come on!”

Drew headed back to queue with May, and Ash hung back in defeat, standing beside Brock with enough intensity to burn down the place. If Brock sensed something had happened, he didn't say a word.

They didn't speak a word to each other for the remainder of the afternoon.

…

The sun was beginning to set, and Brock mentioned about setting up camp.

“Well then, I guess this is goodbye,” Drew said, glancing between the group. His eyes lingered on Ash for just a beat longer, and then he quickly turned back to May again.

“Until we meet again, at least,” she said with a laugh.

Drew took a step forward.

“You know, there's a contest coming up in Saffron City I think you should enter.”

May blinked.

“I hadn't heard anything about it... why, are you entering?”

Drew smirked.

“Nah, I have to focus on finding a new pokemon to strengthen my team first. But I think you'd do really well in it.”

He began to walk away, refusing to look back.

“Well, thank you, Drew!” May called after him. He offered a wave without turning around, and then disappeared into the woods.

“What a poser,” Ash muttered, and Max snickered as May nudged him on the arm crossly.

The evening was uneventful, but the shared looks and things left unsaid lingered in Ash's mind as they ate dinner and did some evening training, finding a clearing where they could see late evening stars beginning to twinkle. They set up camp in the woods, and Brock took a seat beside Ash while May and Max finished their food and got ready for bed.

“So, wanna talk about what happened today?”

“There's nothing to talk about, Brock,” Ash sighed. “You saw. We barely said a civil word to each other.”

“That's the part that stumped me, honestly.” Brock squeezed his shoulder. “Have you worked out... whatever's going on between the two of you?”

“No. Actually, I think things have gotten worse. We agreed to go back to how we were, but... it's different, I can tell.” He looked away and muttered, “I don't think he's even planning on talking to me, if he can help it. We argued earlier.”

“He didn't take it very well, then?” Brock asked flatly.

“Take what very well?”

“That you aren't interested in a relationship.”

“Brock, it's not that I wasn't, you know, interested in him, and being with him,” Ash said, brow furrowed in frustration as he tried to choose his words carefully. “But, all it was doing was making things tense for us, and tense for May and Drew. So I told him I wanted to just be rivals, for now. It's not a decision I rushed, but... the way we've both been acting, I think he thought I was going to say yes.”

Brock exhaled.

“I had no idea you felt that way about him, you know. I'm sorry you couldn't talk to me about it until things got bad.” Ash frowned up at him. “What are you talking about, Brock? That isn't on you. I didn't even know what was happening until it got to that point. I've never felt these kind of things before. How could I know it was... well, a kind of love?” “I thought you and Misty would always end up together, truthfully,” Brock said with a laugh. “I thought when we were travelling I was watching young love unfold. You were really oblivious to it all?”

“Me and Misty?!” Ash's eyes bugged out. “Sorry to burst your bubblebeam there, Brock, but Misty used to tease me like I was her kid brother! Sure, we got along fine, but...”

“Well, have you ever had a crush on a girl?” Brock asked.

Ash shrugged.

“Not that I can think of? I don't know what that makes me. I don't see any point in using labels and stuff right now. It's not productive, is it?”

“Guess not.” Brock hummed to himself, deliberating on something for a few moments, before speaking up again. “You know, I thought Lance was cute, that time we met up with him.”

Ash turned to stare at him. “You did?”

Brock nodded, and cracked a smile. “Like you said, you don't have to put a label on what you feel. But if you want my advice, I think you should call him. Smooth things over.”

Ash stared down at his pokedex.

“I don't know about that, Brock. I think he's upset with me.”

“All the more reason to, then. Tell him what you told me, about the timing being bad and just wanting things to be simple. If he knows where he stands, the both of you will surely bounce back from it.”

Brock patted him on the shoulder and rose to his feet. “I'm going to bed, but promise me you'll sort things out?”

“I'll try,” Ash muttered. “He's not the easiest guy to talk to.”

With a wave, Brock headed back to where May and Max were sitting in their sleeping bags and climbed into his own. Ash headed a little deeper into the forest, and dialled Drew's pokedex code. He fiddled with his fringe, half-wondering if there was any point making himself presentable for this conversation, but half wanting Drew to find him attractive over his crappy pokedex facecam.

On the fourth ring, Drew answered. His hair was slightly ruffled, either from sleep or from recently flying, and he was in lodgings that looked like a typical pokemon centre room.

“Hey.”

“I told you goodbye,” Drew deadpanned.

“I know. But, but we need to talk properly, Drew. I'm sorry things got out of hand. But you're not ditching the Saffron City contest because of me, are you? I won't talk to you, if that's what you need to hear. I don't want to stand in your way.”

Drew scoffed.

“Don't flatter yourself. I wasn't planning on going anyway.”

“Drop the smug bullshit for a second, will you?” snapped Ash. “Why do you care so much about telling May, all of a sudden? Up until today you've been fine keeping it between the two of us. Whether it's romantic or not, I don't see why we have to involve anyone else.”

“You're ashamed of me, Ash,” Drew said harshly, silencing him instantly. “I won't be kept around at your convenience. I get that you think you're being noble and sheltering May, but someone was always going to get hurt. It just sucks you'd rather make me pay than just tell her the truth about us.”

“Drew, you're her first rival,” Ash said pleadingly. “If I tell her, it'll screw with her confidence.”

“You think she doesn't already know on some level?” Drew asked sharply. “Ash, she knows we've spent time together away from her, she knows I've given you at least one rose, and she knows that I get in your head. She's been putting the pieces together for months, can't you see that?”

Ash shook his head slowly, feeling the colour draining from his face.

“If she knows, why doesn't she just ask?”

“The same reason you won't just tell her, I suppose.” Drew's voice was quiet, but harsh. “Maybe it's cause she just doesn't wanna know. She's your damn friend, you figure it out.”

“You aren't being fair,” Ash protested.

“No?” Drew's eyes flashed. “I've been patient. I've given you time to sort through your feelings, I haven't run to May to reveal our big fucking secret! Now it's your turn to give me some time to get through this. I can take you not reciprocating my feelings. I can handle rejection, but when you won't even admit to your friends that I'm your damn rival? Why would I want to be stuck in a rivalry like that in the first place?”

Ash held the phone so tightly his fingers hurt.

“I don't want you to give up on us, Drew,” he whispered. “Please.”

Drew dragged a hand through his hair, looking truly exhausted.

“I can't do this right now, Ash. If I have to wait around for you to figure out what the hell you want from me, I'll never go anywhere. Just let me be until the next time we meet.”

“Please-”

The call ended, and Ash gripped his phone in despair.

“Fuck,” he mumbled, burying his face in his hands. “Damn you, Drew.”

[drewxmay]

Contestshipping Review - Part Sixteen - Harley Rides Again!

Next

Previous

Index

-The Title-

This doesn’t bother me at all it sounds like a normal episode title.

And it’s like the only one on this list that sounds like it.

-Episode Link-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hb_vpjFazCM

-BTW-

This episode has no Drew in it, and it only has a mention. This is a Harley episode and I did spend a lot of time on ti so you should read it anyways lol.

-The Review-

0:00

So the narrator explains May is getting ready for the Wisteria contest so that she can get her third ribbon.

Also, new voice actors.

I miss Veronica, at least Michele gets better...

(those are May’s two English voice actors)

0:14

So for the contest May decided to use Munchlax, this will be his first contest so they are practicing.

0:50

NOSTALGIA.

Skip to 1:00 if you don’t want to hear the fragment of the theme song

1:10

May’s new Eevee: Eevee! Eevee! (Probably sometime like “I wanna be in a contest too!”)

May: Eevee you and I need a little more practice first, but it won’t be long.

Eevee is adorable now though can’t she still join?

1:19

Ash: May have you decided if you’re going to use Munchlax in both rounds?

May: I think I’ll use Squirtle in the first round and save Munchlax for the second.

I’m not too sure how long it’s been but sense you’ve been to at least four competitions it has been a looooong time sense the last episode I reviewed, so Squirtle shouldn’t be a baby anymore and might’ve actually been a contest.

1:30

:A lot of girls surround Brock becuase they all think that the Bonsly he just got is adorable:

It’s like when somebody has a dog in public. “Can I pet it?” It’s just something too irresistible.

1:47

:Unknown voice, sounds female though: Oo can I hold Bonsly too?

Brock: Of course you can! :Looks over towards where the voice is coming from:

WHY IS EVERYBODY FLEEING IN TERROR WHEN THEY REALIZE THAT WAS HARLEY

THERE WAS JUST SO MUCH TERROR IN THEIR VOICES AS HARLEY WALKS OVER TO HOLD THE CUTE CREATURE

Just let him hold the Bonsly he’s not going to hurt him, the only person that he’d a chance of doing that to is May.

1:53

May: Harley!?!

Never pause a Pokemon episode.

Harley: May my little gingerbread cookie how are you hon’!

um

I hate Gingerbread so maybe Harley does to and that was supposed to insult her.

Ash and Max: Oh no he’s back!

2:00

Harley: Enough chit-chat girl. I’m gonna beat you!

Bonsly: (In angry voice) Bonsly!?

Harley: Don’t you sass me shorty!

Anything a Pokemon as said during this episode it seems like everybody understands.

Harley: You can use every two-bit trick you’ve ever used and I’ll still wipe the dance floor with you!

My brain read that is “I’ll wipe the dance floor with your blood”.

I mean just becuase he didn’t finish the sentence with that doesn’t mean he didn’t mean it.

May: The only wiping will be your crying eyes after I win that ribbon!

What is that and where did he get it?

Harley: Speaking on which, how many [ribbons] do you have?

May: I’ve got two of them!

Harley, sarcastically: I’m impressed! I’ll bet you’re busting your button!

Harley: :pulls out his three ribbons: but think how proud you’d be with three.

May: Well we’ll see today!

Harley: When I beat you we’ll see how smart that mouth is!!!

Has there arguing been anymore fun is earlier episodes?

Now imagine if we had the old voice actors who were much better.

3:00

Jessie: Excuse me tall green and handsome!

Harley: :turns over to the counter: Huh?

Meowth: Feast your eyes on the merchandise! (There’s a bunch of Pokeblock)

Harley: If it’s anything Pokeblock I already have oodles thank you.

James (In quieter voice): No we’re in the information business.

Harley: Oh? What kind of information?

Then team rocket reveals who they are and do their motto thing.

3:40

Harley: Oh I know! You’re the Team Rocket who May and her Boy-Toys always beat of pants off of!

Very true Harley.

:Wabafett releases themselves out of their Pokeball and tells Harley that it’s true:

Jessie: I guess somebody around here has a big mouth...

Meowth (Very confidently): Here’s the deal big boy!

Jessie: In our world there’s nothing worse then a winning twerp!

James: So we’re giving you our twerp expertise to make certain you’ll win.

You guys do know a lot about them now that I think about it.

4:00

Meowth: But sense we don’t do nothing for nothing we’re asking you to get our paws in Pikachu!

Harley: :Bursts out laughing:

Harley, Still laughing: That was a good one!

Jessie: Thanks we love you too.

Harley, Still laughing: You know just as well as I do that your all total losers! If I had to do something like this I’d have to become a looser just like you! :walks off still laughing:

3:22

Harley: Thanks for the laughs though, bu-by.

Harley is the best character I actually don’t mind his voice actor.

3:48

Contest time! Now I get to summarize!

6:00

And for May’s appeal, she starts off with sending out Squirtle. When they exit the Pokeball, he does a few somersaults in the air and then happily spreads out their arms and legs and smile. Then, they use rapid spin (tucking into their shell and spinning extremely fast) and spin all around the stage, once they get to the center they more or less float over the stage (still spinning) and turn their shell upwards. While still spinning like that, they uses bubble and water gun. Both attacks come out of the inside of the shall and create a spiral above them. After everybody compliments her Squirtle, Squirtle uses Ice Beam to destroy all of the bubbles (still spinning). As Squirtle gets out of their shell, they use Ice Beam once more before finishing.

That preformence is good enough to get a perfect score.

7:43

A few more appeals, just wants to time stamp it.

7:52

And now for Harley’s appeal!

He starts off by sending out his Ariados who then uses that attack Spiderweb, which then Ariados shoots long webs reaching from the floor all the way to the walls. They climb up the webs, up to the center on of the ceiling. Then, it launches itself off the middle and becuase it has a string attacked to them, it dangled over the floor instead of crashing like it would’ve. Finally, they use the string their ties to to wrap around themselves, but once they do that one part is revealing and it looks like a scary face. Harley tells Ariados it’s time to finish and use their last attack... but then a Wabafett falls through the ceiling onto Ariados’ stage.

Wait why did I say “A Wabafett” we all know who’s Wabafett it is. The Wabafett is then creeped out by the Ariados next to it and runs off. Pikachu follows becuase Pikachu is smart and can tell that it is Jessie’s.

10:14

Sadly we don’t get to see Harley’s rest of preformence and they just cut to the scores.

They don’t show the scores but you can tell that May got a perfect one.

10:44

And now time to start the next round, the battle round. the battle is May against shirtless Stranger. We’ll just call him Stan.

Stan sends out Pollytoad and May sends out Munchlax. May starts out by telling him to start charging up Solar Beam. During Munchlax’ charging, Pollytoad uses water-gun. Right before it hits Munchlax uses Solar Beam and utterly destroys the water-gun and Pollytoad.

11:42

We interrupt this battle to bring Team-Rocket’s balloon on top of the contest building.

So basically as a summary for what is actually happening is that they are stealing all of the Pokemon. Wabafett comeback and it turns out that when he summoned himself he fell out of the balloon and they are confused as to how he stayed in one piece. Ash and Pikachu found Team rocket (remember, they were following Wabafett) and then Team rocket explains that they are trying to get May to win. Ash is confused then asks what all of the stolen Pokemon are for. They say it’s part of the standered assistants program (If none of her challengers have Pokemon then she will win).

They are doing this because Harley was rude to them earlier and they know that if May wins it will make him upset.

Pikachu uses thunder, the Pokemon are freed and Team Rocket blasts off.

13:16

Back to contest! I’ll make another timestamp for when May and Harley’s battle actually starts.

13:41

May sends out Munchlax and Harley sends out Octillary. May starts out by using focus Punch, but before he can use it Octillary jumps up into the air and falls into Munchlax’ face while using constrict. May looses points.Munchlax continues to try to use focus punch to hit Octillary and continues to fail. Octillary uses some attack and it’s a direct hit on Munchlax. Octillary is no longer on Munchlax. May looses more points.

Then, Munchlax tries using Solar Beam. While he is charging the attack, Octillary uses sludge bomb, and Munchlax is unable to use Solar Beam in time to deflect it. May is under half of all her points. She decides to try to use Metronome. Harley waits for the attack to see what it is, and when it comes out it seems to do nothing and everybody thinks it’s a flop. Harley comments about how stupid a decision it was THEN A HUGE BLAST OF THUNDER COMES FROM THE CEILING ONTO OCTILLARY.

Harley then tells Octillary to use rest. While it is sleeping May tries to use multiple Focus Punch and Tackle attacks, this lowers Harley’s points dramatically until he has almost none left. as that point, Octillary wakes up with full HP. When it wakes up, Munchlax is very close so it is able to do a direct hit with I think the same attack I can’t figure out the full name of, and it is a direct hit.

Munchlax is knocked out, and May looses the battle at 17:55.

18:38

It’s a while later, the contest has ended, Harley got is ribbon, and May is with her friends and giving Munchlax a huge meal becuase of how hard he worked.

Ash: Sorry you lost May.

May: Don’t worry Ash, I really learned something today and that’s really going to help me in my next contest.

I actually find it so heartwarming that May has learned to take losses like this and learn from them, it’s how you grow as a person and it just makes me happy to see happen.

19:02

Lilian comes over to them with a suitcase

Lilian: I’m glad I caught up with you May!

May: It’s Lilian! Hi there!

Lilian: That was a close match today, and I just wanted to tell you that if you’re interested the next contest will be at Chrysanthemum (I know how to spell that :) ) island and we’d love to see you there!:Hands May flyer:

May: Sounds great!

Ash: Ya I’m sure I’ve heard of that contest.

Lilian: That’s Wonderful! And oh ya I almost forgot! :pulls letter with rose out of her bag:

May: :takes letter: This is for me?

Ash: Who’s it from?

May: :looks at letter: There isn’t any name.

Brock: C’mon it’s a rose May!

Max: It’s gotta be Drew!

May (Reading letter out load): “Dear May, I look forward to seeing you at the Chrysanthemum contest.”

Ash: So that mean’s Drew’s gonna be there too!

May: That’ll be fine! Then he’ll watch me get my third ribbon!

Then the episode ends with the Narrator talking.

-Conclusion-

All parts with Spoilers to other episodes will be in bold so skip those if you don’t want spoilers.

        !!!!!!!TEXT TO HELP YOU NOT READ IF YOU DON’T WANT TO!!!!!!!!    

  The letter isn’t from Drew, but you can tell that the thought of having it be from Drew was something that she got happy about, becuase it meant that she would get to see him again, and as I said it’s been a pretty long time sense they've seen each other. May was happy that Drew would be coming back and it got her even more exited for the Chrysanthemum contest she was already exited about.

You can tell how happy May was at the thought of having it be from Drew,, becuase it meant that she would get to see him again, and as I said it’s been a pretty long time sense they've seen each other. May was happy that Drew would be coming back and it got her even more exited for the Chrysanthemum contest she was already exited about.

(More of the unknowing crush detail I talked about in Rhapsody in Drew, she didn’t notice she was blushing, and she doesn’t notice she got even more exited for the contests now that she knows that Drew is going.)

[samsoriginalwriting]

A.E.W (Title in the works)

This is the first chapter to my rough draft. I am definitely going to change things around and all. This isn't edited!!!

It wasn't a normal week at all. First, my grandfather passed away on Monday. Second, my aunt shows up to my grandfather's funeral after she left for God knows how long. Thirdly, we discovered he hid a massive secret from most of my family except for my aunt, my two lost cousins, my lost father, and my dead mother, but let's just start off with the whole funeral deal.

    I mean the funeral was fine. It was probably the only normal thing except for my aunt showing up halfway through. She strolled in and took a seat next to my uncle, who by the way didn't look happy to see his sister after so many years.

    My aunt glanced around before her eyes fell onto me. She smiled, but I could tell that she was hiding sadness behind that infamous smile of hers. She did a little wave then turned her attention to her dead father being buried.

    During the whole ceremony, if you can even call it that, my aunt didn't cry or tear up once. She just stared blankly at the casket being lowered into the ground. Her staring wasn't filled with disgust like I thought it would be. It was filled with emptiness. The kind of emptiness that made the world seem too big to know where one would go. That type of stare made even me feel lost.

    After the funeral, my aunt, older sister, and my two uncles and I all got into one car and drove home. I figured that my aunt didn't drive here or she had someone to drive her because she had no car with her. She had to go back to Grandpa's place with us. While in the car I got to sit next to her. Well, I discovered along the way that I didn't know anything about her. I didn't even know her name.

    Her name was Farren Rosaline Alderidge. She has been traveling the world since she was 17, that was about fifteen years ago. She left two years before I was born. No one in our family knows why she left she just did. Some say it was to go looking for my two older and lost cousins, but that's just a theory. While she wasn't traveling she was living in her mansion, collecting money. I discovered that Aunt Farren or Ren or Rose (but she doesn't like that too much. It sounds too feminine in her eyes) loves money. She is like a female version of the Scrooge, but she seems more warmed hearted then him, but what do I know.

    Along the way to my Grandpa's mansion, Aunt Farren told me stories about her life. She told me about her adventures and also how she got all her money: some stealing was involved. Her life was filled with things no one would imagine and I don't think she told me the whole truth. It almost sounded like she was hiding something, but I didn't want to question her about it.

    "We're here!" My uncle Cooper announced. He pulled up into the driveway and parked the car. We all got out and made our way inside. Right before Aunt Farren got through the door uncle Max stopped her by her arm. He whispered something in her ear that I couldn't make out.

    "Okay! I'm going to be completely honest with you brother. I'm only here for the money. So if you please let me in and let me see the will," Aunt Farren pushed past him and into the house. She looked around and snorted slightly.

    "What's so funny?" Uncle Max asked clearly annoyed.

    Aunt Farren shook her head with a slight smirk on her face. "Nothing, nothing at all," she muttered.

    Uncle Max rolled his eyes and marched up the stairs. He looked back down at all of us for a second before walking away. "Why do you wanna see the will?" He yelled as he went to grab it. "You shouldn't be a part of it! You were never there!"

    "Aunt Farren, I think Uncle Max is right. You shou-"

    "What!" Uncle Max interrupted Lily, my sister. He came running down the stairs. In his hands was a piece of paper. It had to be Grandpa's will. "How is this possible," he snared slightly as he looked between the will and Aunt Farren.

    "Wh-what's the matter?" Uncle Cooper asked with worry laces in his tone.

    Uncle Max handed the will over to Uncle Cooper. Uncle Cooper's face grew pale. He looked ready to be sick. In his eyes, a spark of anger showed itself. He pressed his lips into a thin line. "Kids, can you please go to your rooms?"

    Me and Lily, my sister glanced at each other. She nodded and grabbed my arm, pulling me up the stairs. Halfway up them, I got free from her and climbed them myself. We both went to our rooms.

    When I got to mine I locked the door and collapsed onto my bed. I stared up at the ceiling thinking. Thinking about my grandfather passing away. About Aunt Farren and the will. About everything. I felt like my whole world was changing too fast. I lost the last person who raised me and all I feel is nothing. I've gotten to the point where I can't cry anymore. Life seems to be going by and I don't know what to do. I don't know where to turn.

    My grandparents raised me and my sister since I think I was three. I don't really remember. They were really the only "parents" we had. My mom is dead and my dad is most likely dead but my grandmother used to always say that he was just lost like my two older cousins. My uncles were never really there. They were too busy with their company. My aunt just showed back up in our lives.

    Now, I had a feeling they were fighting about who was going to get custody of us. Most likely it was going to be Uncle Max and Uncle Cooper. They were more in our lives than Aunt Ferren. In the will, it probably states that they get custody of us. I'll be very surprised if it didn't.

×××

    I was wrong. The will doesn't state that they get custody of us. It states that Aunt Farren the quintillionaire will have custody of us and also get half of my grandparent's money. So now she is most likely a sextillionaire. The other half goes to my uncles. Me and Lily get nothing, maybe because they knew we were going to live with our aunt.

    Lily and I sat down in the living room. Uncle Max and Cooper were bickering back and forth over something I wasn't paying attention to. Aunt Farren stood in front of us, leaning against the side of the fireplace. She had an umbrella in her hands. I didn't notice her having it while driving home from the funeral. She must have picked it up somewhere in the house.

    "So, why do you have custody of us?" Lily asked.

    Aunt Farren sighed. She looked confused for a second before answering, "I don't know. This wasn't supposed to happen, I think."

    I knew she was hiding something. She just didn't want to tell us. "Aunt Farren do we get to live with you or do Uncle Max and Cooper have to go to court?" I asked.

    "Luna, I doubt they would go to court over this. They can possible loss more money than what they gained here today. And please call me Farie, Ren, or simply Farren. You don't have to continue to call me Aunt Farren. For god's sake, I was barely in your life," Aunt Farren or just Farren said.

    Uncle Max walked into the room. His face was beet red, but he wore a small but forced smile on his face. He looked at Farren and then to me and my sister. He took a deep breath. "We both decided that it is best if you two go live with your aunt. You will be going home with her tonight, so go pack your essentials and we will ship everything else you own over."

    "I'm shocked that you and your husband allowed this. Then again money was always more important in this family. Children sadly always came second," Farren explained with a hint of pain in her voice like she experienced something similar to what she just said.

    "That easy? So no fighting? No legal battle? Nothing? You're just going to allow some lady we just met today to take us to her house and live with her? Um, would my mom and dad really want this?" Lily asked as she shot up from her chair and faced Uncle Max.

    "I think they would have. You are safer with her than with anyone else in this family now since your grandparents passed away."

    Lily huffed as she marched off to her room. When she got to it she slammed the door so hard that it could be heard all the way through the house. Uncle Max quickly went upstairs to go talk to her.

    "She'll come around. She always does," Uncle Cooper muttered.

    "Stubborn just like her mother," Farren said under her breath. She looked at me and smiled a bit. "I'm guessing Lily is more like your mother and you are more like your father. I can tell. George was always the quiet, reserved, calm kind of person, just like you are."

    I got up from the couch. "I'm going to go and get packed."

    "Okay," Farren mumbled.

    I quickly made my way upstairs and to my room. I grabbed my suitcase and started to fill it up with everything I need. After I filled it to the rim and slammed it shut. I was about to take a seat on my bed until someone knocked on the door. I turned and saw that Lily was standing in the doorway with her suitcase in her hand. She also had her classic black leather jacket on.

    "Are you ready to go?" She bitterly asked.

    "Yeah," I told her as I grabbed my suitcase. I walked out of my old room and closed the door, most likely for the last time.

    To put the record straight, I wasn't as bitter as Lily. She just seemed to hate the idea of going to live with our aunt. I mean I could see why, but something in me was telling me that I just had to trust Farren. That the secrets my grandparents hid from me and Lily will come to light. I believe that Farren will tell us what my grandparents were hiding from us, I'm hoping.

×××

    Of course, Farren had a limo and a limo driver. My dumb self thought she walked to the funeral. I was clearly wrong. The limo was a decent size. It was all black and shiny; must have been newly waxed. The windows were all tinted so no one could see inside. The inside was incredibly clean. There was no signs of dirt or even dust anywhere. The seats were this tan leather and the floors were this black carpet. It didn't look like it fit Farren's style at all, but then again I barely knew the woman.

    Farren, Lily, and I all sat in silence. None of us really knew what to say. Lily was also still mad and annoyed at the whole situation. When we left the house she didn't say a word to our uncles. She just remained silent and marched straight into the limo. It was so unlike her. She is normally the most talkative girl ever even if she is angry at someone. I do understand that we just lost our grandfather, but she still shouldn't have been this quiet.

    The ride wasn't too long. It had to be one of the shortest trips I had in a while. She did live in Connecticut, which was about two hours away from New York City. Hartford Connecticut to be exact. It was a beautiful city during the day, but at night it was a totally different glory. It wasn't as bright as New York City, but it definitely still had nightlife.

    Farren, I discovered lives on the outskirts of Hartford. She lives a few miles out of it on the side of a mountain. Her mansion is more impressive then Hartford. It isn't as big, but it's just as grand maybe even a little more so. The mansion lit up everything all around it. The good part about that is that no one is around to complain. No one around to bother us.

    The limo came to a stop in the driveway a few feet away from the fountain in the middle of it. The driveway wasn't paved, it looked like it was made from white mosaic tiles. Bushes lined the driveway all the way up to the stairs leading up to the front door. The front door was made from glass and I would say iron. It was the most impressive door I've ever seen.

    The mansion itself was a sight anyone had to witness once in their lives. Its architecture had to be a mix of different European styles. The main three that I spotted was Italian/Roman, German, and Greek. The front was styled to look like those of an ancient building found in Greece or Rome, but the walls had that cross cross look to them that gave it the feeling of Germany. Those three styles look and sound like they wouldn't or couldn't go together, but somehow Farren pulled it off.

    "Welcome home Miss Farren and to the girls welcome to your new home!" The limousine driver announced.

A/N: Might be shitty of me but I'm tagging a few people.

Tags: @beccas-writings @writeinspiration @writingwinterridge @yourlocalwriterblog @thewritershandbook @yourocsbackstory @the-violet-writer

[soundlessdancer]

top 5 roles you've been in?

This is a super old ask but I still really wanna answer it! I haven’t been doing much acting lately and since I was more focused on my mental health in hs I don’t have as many options as I would like to choose from but in no particular order….

1. This role was legit just called “Human” for a senior-directed one-act I did my senior year of high school and my director actually wrote her show as well as directing it! It was similar to Inside Out but a lot darker and I was actually given a form to fill out info about myself so the script would be tailored for the people playing my ‘emotions’ (doubt, regret, frustration, and depression in this case) and what they would talk about. I was in none of the rehearsals and both my audition and performance relied on natural reaction and improv. It was amazing because I was very open with my answers and I had friends in other one-acts tell me how they started crying as a stand-in during the tech rehearsals for the show. It was called Mind Space and honestly was one of the best experiences I’ve ever had in theatre.

2.I played various D&D monsters a little over a year ago in a play called ‘She Kills Monsters’! It’s a super queer-friendly show and is fairly accurate for 1990′s D&D (the show is set in ‘95). It’s all about this girl connecting with her late sister who was a big D&D nerd and through playing this homebrew her sister had made years ago she finds out a bunch of things she never knew about her. Plus since I was only playing monsters I was a strictly stage-combat role and while it took a toll on me physically it was SO MUCH FUN. I got to run around with a top-heavy paper-mache dragon head for the final boss battle against Tiamat.

3.I never actually got to perform this show because the entire cast (including myself, this was an independent study class) wasn’t ready come showtime but it was still a super fun process. I played Barbara in the show Nickel and Dimed (Look up the title, it’s based off a woman’s real experiences) which was the principal role and honestly was a lot to handle for being 15 and having my first role in two years at the time.

4. From another show I never ended up doing and was cut pretty early on in the same class the following year. The play was called Leaves and I played the role of Lori, the oldest of three girls in a family in Belfast. She isn’t even in the first act but so much of the show is focused around her as she comes back from her first year of university after a suicide attempt. My classmates dropped the show and went for this other play full of mini-skits that I honestly did not like at all and they did this on a day that I was HOME SICK. Also there was a girl in that class (these were small classes of like 8 people max.) who was super controlling and rude and like…..honestly all I can say is she was a bitch? She was so mean! It was absolute bs!

5. My first principal role! Ida Claire Yall in the show Holder Posey: The Felonious Photographer (Or: Step Into My Dark Room and See What Happens). This was actually my last show in middle school (and was when I started going out with my first boyfriend for two days, I broke up with him via text on Valentines Day. NOT TO MENTION WE WERE THE ROMANTIC LEADS IN THE SHOW. It was only awkward for like a week, and he’s gay! He’s like my little brother, we’re still really good friends) But the show was a complete over-the-top melodrama and was honestly hysterical, including goofs that happened during performances i,e: I had to grab ice cream for myself and the guy player Holder Posey (YES ALL THE CHARACTER NAMES WERE PUNS) and I saw someone take the spoons from the bowls I was supposed to grab and the only plasticware they had left were knives so I just….took the knives. Since I had no dialogue left in the scene (or very little) along with Holder, he just pulls the knife out and gives me this look, poking me with the knife while I’m holding back laughter and you could hear chuckles from some people in the audience. The scene ends and the two of us had to take the bench we were sitting on off stage and since we were mic’d you would just see two silhouettes shaking with laughter. Honestly one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen or done on a stage production.

Also this went on much longer than it should’ve, but eh. 

Feel free to send in any questions, I’m a fairly open book! (ALSO I JUST PASSED 666 FOLLOWERS AND DIDN’T SCREEN CAP IT)

[gengarfamily]

I still get reviews and messages sometimes about Don’t Take Forever, and whenever I’m sad I read through them and it makes me SO happy so I thought I’d share My Top DTF Moments and their origins.

Part One: Johto (slowburnhell)

so when I started writing this it was going to be a little cute oneshot collection of nice moments at various points in their journey (but then plot happened so) and all the plot fell together because I was obsessively listening to Lucy Rose at the time, specifically her song Little Brave (which actually gave the title, bc don’t take forever is like the chorus riff).

FAVE part of this chapter is the cafe scene in Olivine, where the foghorn jokes begin and May was crying but subtly doesn’t feel AS sad when she’s around him. The foghorn jokes that I get so much shit for now are from an irl conversation between me and a friend, when we used to give each other shit for our own bouts of seasickness, and he lived in a place where we needed boat transportation to see each other.

Other fave part is probably the hug in Blackthorn, because it makes me all squirmy and warm to think about, and it’s also my fave bit of the piano arrangement I did for this. anyway.

Big belief that Drew associates every single sunset he sees with May so obviously that’s why I kept writing her has wearing burnt orange I’m not sorry. AND OBVIOUSLY THEY KNOW EACH OTHERS BREAKFAST ORDERS THIS ISN’T EVEN A QUESTION.

Top Quote:

“Well you know, foghorns,” he shrugged, and she laughed harder. “They just call out to me.”

Part Two: Sinnoh (angst city)

I love lonely Drew. I LIVE for lonely Drew. Drew brooding and sulking and quietly repressing his emotions because he has more important things to focus on than just his girlfriend being far away; this is my aesthetic. I think my 100% top moment in this was probably catching Driftloom? I love Floroma Town and the windworks as an area in Sinnoh from way back when I first played D/P, I thought it was such a pretty place and if I lived anywhere in the Pokemon Universe it would DEFINITELY be there. 

Originally, I was going to write Drew’s mother as promising lots, and then ditching all the time. Sort of, she really wishes she could be a good mother but she’s just terrible at follow through and she can’t be counted on, so she was going to miss the final match and let him down or s o m e t h i n g, and I was going to have a bit of a stand off between Brendan and Drew, not over May, but over Marina and Drew’s dislike of her making Brendan super angry or SOMETHING. (I had a lot of vague ideas). In the end, I realized Marina was best left alone to be developed properly another time, because I always wanted to let her fall back into place with Jimmy. I also knew I wanted Karen to have some horrible bitterness to her, and some kind of “once mine, always mine,” mentality, so this idea of desperately clinging to her last chance of a good reputation seemed appealing.

Dawn and May in the coffee shop and Dawn yelling loudly about May’s feelings to embarrass her in front of Drew’s Dad is everything that matters to me. Also, I gave May an astigmatism because if you tell me that’s a girl who can see 100% you’re telling me a lie. ALSO DREW AND MAX SHOULD BE BEST FRIENDS that’s all.

Top Quote:

“Drew likes to make you think he’s cool,” Max informed them dutifully, pushing his glasses up his nose a little, “but it’s a lie. It’s a well thought out, calculated lie. This is part of the lie. Never forget, he is in fact a weenie.”

Part Three: Hoenn (1)

I live for the Christmas section here. I wanted to set them up as companions, that even though they traveled separately they were a unit and they were a partnership and what better environment than navigating a family christmas? Caroline and Drew as a friendship means EVERYTHING to me. And anyone who has spoken to me for more than three seconds knows that I have a LOT of feelings about Norman and May, but I’ll talk about that in the next section.

#letpaulappreciatecontests2k17

Shout out to this section for Max, who introduces Drew as top coordinator and full time weenie when he battles Norman. This is the most frequently commented upon moment when I get messages and reviews, and it means so much to me that you seem to share my terrible sense of humor. 

the bit where May does Drew’s tie because she’s used to league functions with her family and Drew is just a sarcastic mess was completely improvised because I had just realised that I would have to cut Hoenn into two parts, and I was naive and thought I’d need padding. I thought I might take it out when I realised HOW LONG Hoenn p2 ended up being but it’s now my fave bit of fluff in the whole thing, so. you know. have at it. and it also kind of hints at the whole sexual tension part of their relationship that gets addressed in part four so here just take it you sinners

The whole phone cliffhanger at the end was originally going to go somewhere SO MUCH MORE DEEP and have this horrible plotline where Drew’s parents had a huge thing and Matthew tried to reach May to talk to Drew before Karen could but I decided it was best to Leave Drew Alone for a while.

Top Quote

“Gross,” Marina commented sagely. “You’re that couple. The ‘oh we just... you know, spent a few weeks drifting around Sinnoh, on a whim. No big deal. We’re so in love, look how gross and happy we are’.”

Part Four: Hoenn (2)

Dawn as main rival is best main rival; obviously. I wanted a differing ~main~ person for M&D to come up against as a collective in every section at first, so it would start with Marina and then Brendan and then Dawn, but all with very differing kinds of rivalries. But then when Brendan stopped being an antagonist, and Karen and Matthew became the bulk of the issue in Sinnoh, much reevaluation happened and I wanted to talk about Drew’s relationship with Harley, so once M&D were together I wanted them to have their own conflicts as individuals and seperate battles to fight, and not lose them to some unified being that lost both of their personalities. I always wanted to have conflict between May and Norman, and definitely May and Solidad as well (again, p4) but once I figured out the Anti-Ikarishipping subplot and the difficulties I wanted Drew to have in that contest season, it made sense to pit him against Paul and Harley in different ways. Harley was a very aggressive rivalry and full of a lot of hurt on both sides, but with Paul I wanted it to be very passive. He was like a figure head for everything Drew had struggled with, and Dawn’s issue with Paul was supposed to mirror what could have happened with May and Drew if it had all gone Wrong.

cookieshipping was OBVIOUSLY going to be a part of this.

I desperately wanted some kind of conflict between Soledad and May, and originally it was going to be more around Soledad’s battling lul and her blaming May for that, and then also blaming her for Drew’s lul, and then all these negative feelings just sort of consuming her and snapping her, and while that doesn’t happen there’s an undercurrent of frustration that May caught her up and makes her a little dismissive but not to the point where she won’t prioritise her and Drew being happy? I guess. I like that their conflict ends up being nothing about coordinating, and nothing about their actual friendship, because they’re two very non-confrontational people, but two very emotionally intelligent people also, so their conflict all stems from an inability to agree with how Drew should process and how much they each individually care about him. Soledad dismissing May as overreacting felt natural because I felt May DID overreact while I was writing it, and with all the grand festival pressure I wanted that. Sometimes I wish I could rewrite it and make the underlying tensions a little clearer, because a lot of that is lost in the actual writing and it doesn’t come through the way I wanted it to, and it makes them all a little petty, but it can’t be helped now. (AKA: my biggest regret.)

I got a lot of people calling me out on the fact May and Drew had sex. in general, I feel like this chapter was both the weakest and the strongest in different ways, depending on what you’re looking for. I knew from the MOMENT I knew the plot that they needed to have that part of their relationship aired, because it’s such a natural and caring part of a lot of relationships and it didn’t seem right that they were becoming so emotionally firm and absolute with each other but were completely limited to little pecks on the cheek - it felt wrong with their characters when they’ve always been - even in the canon - so drawn to one another in a way that would so easily build to that, in the most respectful and caring of ways. anyway I wanted it to parallel their communication, so the more openly they talked with each other, the more physical they would be, in both mannerisms and in eventual actions. (I kept the scene PG so it’s all fine, I guess.)

I’ve gotten a few messages I’ve never publicly responded to about May and Norman and their relationship and where it comes from so here’s my official answer. : no. you’re wrong. it’s not me and my dad. congrats sherlock. I based it off moments in the ruby/sapphire game and the way May responds to him in the anime. Now, the relationship between them in An Adventurer is quite different, and I’ll cop to a part of that being my exploring my relationship with my dad. But it’s mostly manga references and a little bit of lingering tension from an unresolved relationship in DTF.

May and Dawn’s fight was the MOST FUN to write, and when I got to the last of Dawn’s pokemon I was legitimately like “okay so how many pokemon has she got left” and I was STUNNED because there were none, so I wrote that reaction into May’s numb-post-win feel.

The Elite Four part? mmmmmmmm. can’t possibly comment. maybe i’ll explain in the sequel. (COMING THIS SUMMER) *maybe* ((((oh god let me graduate)))))

[recentanimenews]

Manga the Week of 6/24/20

SEAN: Look out, folks. The danger of COVID-19 may still be here, but the dam has broken. There are SO MANY BOOKS next week.

ASH: Woo!

SEAN: We’ll start with Dark Horse, who have a 5th volume of Mob Psycho 100.

ASH: I’ll be picking this up.

SEAN: J-Novel Club’s debut is Deathbound Duke’s Daughter, which is another in the “I’ve been reincarnated as a villainess in an otome game” genre. Really nice artwork for this novel series. It’s from Futabasha’s M Novels.

Also from J-Novel Club: An Archdemon’s Dilemma 10, Ascendance of a Bookworm 7 (which finishes the 2nd arc, the one currently being animated), the 2nd Sorcerous Stabber Orphen manga, and a 4th Welcome to Japan, Ms. Elf!

Kodansha has a lot. Debuts? We have three. One even is in print: the first volume of The Ghost in the Shell: Human Algorithm, a spinoff of the legendary manga/anime franchise.

ASH: It’s always interesting to see how various creators envision Ghost in the Shell.

SEAN: A new digital-only title is Abe-kun’s Got Me Now! (Abe-kun ni Nerawaretemasu), a shoujo title from the online replacement for Aria, Palcy. A comedy manga about a girl who finds the school’s karate champ confessing to her… and he’s not going to take no for an answer.

Also digital (at least for now) is Sue & Tai-chan, another cat manga from the creator of Chi’s Sweet Home. This one runs in Be Love magazine, so seems more for housewives than kids. But… I mean, it’s still a cute cat manga.

MICHELLE: I’m looking forward to it!

SEAN: Scheduled (at the moment) for Digital next week and print later, we see Cardcaptor Sakura Collector’s Edition 5 (along with 3 and 4, whose print are out already), Fire Force 19, Love and Lies 9, O Maidens in Your Savage Season 7, and Yuri Is My Job! 6.

ASH: As usual, I’ll be waiting for the print release, but O Maidens in Your Savage Season is really good.

SEAN: Digital-only titles out next week? Altair: A Record of Battles 19 (I swear this is now weekly), Asahi-sempai’s Favorite 7 (the final volume), Hotaru’s Way 14, I Fell in Love After School 5, Kounodori: Dr. Stork 15, and Watari-kun’s ****** Is about to Collapse 7 (which also feels like it’s out every week).

MICHELLE: Of these, I’m only currently reading I Fell in Love After School, but I do enjoy it.

SEAN: KUMA has a digital-first, print later debut: Canis: Dear Mr. Rain. This BL title originally ran in Opera a few years back, but is now in Takeshobo’s Reijin. It’s about picking up a stray on the side of the road, only this is a human, not a dog.

MELINDA: Maybe?

SEAN: One Peace has a 13th Rising of the Shield Hero (manga version).

Seven Seas, in print, has New Game! 9.

Seven Seas, digitally, has a bit more. We have two debuts. Peter Grill and the Philosopher’s Time (Peter Grill to Kenja no Jikan) runs in Futabasha’s Manga Action, which means it can’t be full-on porn, but it sounds like it. Peter Grill has a lovely fiancee and has just won a tournament pronouncing him the World’s Strongest. Unfortunately, this means all the women in the world – elves, ogres – want to bone him. Poor guy, can he escape his horrible fate?

MELINDA: …wow.

SEAN: The other digital debut is Syrup, another yuri anthology of short stories – this one from Futabasha – and featuring the creators of I Married My Best Friend to Shut My Parents Up and Kisses, Sighs and Cherry Blossom Pink.

ASH: Oh! That sounds like it has promise!

MELINDA: This might be good!

SEAN: There’s also the 3rd Arifureta manga, Gal Gohan 3, GIGANT 2, a 2nd Magic User: Reborn in Another World as a Max Level Wizard light novel, Miss Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid: Elma’s Office Lady Diary 3, Non Non Biyori 13, the 3rd Reincarnated As a Sword manga, and the 10th and final Toradora! light novel. (Yes, I know there are short story volumes. No, they aren’t. No, it’s unlikely they will be.)

Square Enix has – digital first – the 3nd Hi Score Girl manga and the 2nd Suppose a Kid from the Last Dungeon Boonies Moved to a Starter Town manga.

Tokyopop has two new series. Don’t Call Me Daddy (Daddy Darlin’) is a BL manga, sequel to Don’t Call Me Dirty.

The other is No Vampire, No Happy Ending (Ringo to Bara to Kyuuketsuki (Kari)), a goofy Mag Garden comedy about a vampire enthusiast who finally meets one and discovers they’re not up to snuff.

MELINDA: This actually sounds fun, maybe in a What We Do in the Shadows kind of way, but …Tokyopop. Not sure I’m ready.

Vertical has (digitally) Bakemonogatari’s 4th manga, APOSIMZ 5, and Kino’s Journey 6.

MELINDA: I’ve been kind of out of it and have lost touch with the Kino’s Journey manga adaptation. I should try to fix that.

SEAN: That’s it! We’re done! Wait… (giant pile of Yen Press falls on Sean) Riiiiiight. Yen’s back in town.

ASH: Whoa! Hang on for the ride!

SEAN: All of the light novel debuts got moved to July. But there’s still a lot of Yen On. We get The Genius Prince’s Guide to Raising a Nation Out of Debt (Hey, How About Treason?) 3, I’ve Been Killing Slimes for 300 Years and Maxed Out My Level 7, Last Round Arthurs 2, My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong As I Expected 6.5 (yes, the numbering is deliberate), Overlord 12, The Saga of Tanya the Evil 7, A Sister’s All You Need 7, That Time I Got Reincarnated As a Slime 8, Wandering Witch: The Journey of Elaina 2, Woof Woof Story 4, and World’s Strongest Rearguard: Labyrinth Country’s Novice Seeker 3. Guh. So many books, so many long titles.

ASH: For sure!

SEAN: Manga? Well, there we have a few debuts. Bestia is a fantasy series about magical beasts, looks cute, and runs in Kadokawa’s Shonen Ace.

Breasts Are My Favorite Things in the World (Sekai de Ichiban Oppai Ga Suki!) is sort of Knight of the Ice if the knight was a girl and instead of wanting to hear magical girl songs she had to fondle huge breasts in order to do well in competitions. It looks… a bit over the top. This runs in Media Factory’s Comic Cune.

MELINDA: What is happening??

SEAN: Lust Geass is from the creator of Evangelion spinoff The Shinji Ikari Raising Project, runs in Kadokawa’s Young Ace, and seems to be Death Note only with sex instead of death.

MELINDA: Yen Press is really losing me lately.

SEAN: And there’s Restaurant in Another World, the manga version of the light novel. Old-school Crunchyroll manga readers may recall this title.

ASH: Oh, I may need to check this one out.

SEAN: Lastly, Sekiro Side Story: Hanbei the Undying seems to be a side story to something I don’t know (it’s certainly not Sekirei), and I guess is based off a game.

Ongoing titles? Well, Umineko: When They Cry comes to an end with the 3rd and final omnibus of Twilight of the Golden Witch. We’ve figured out by now that most everyone in the cast is really, genuinely dead. But did ANYONE other than Ange survive? Read to find out.

And… Bungo Stray Dogs 15, Chio’s School Road 9, Dead Mount Death Play 4, Divine Raiment Magical Girl Howling Moon 2, Do You Love Your Mom (and Her Two-Hit, Multi-Target Attacks?) 3 (manga version), Eclair Bleau (another yuri anthology volume) Goblin Slayer 8 (manga version), KonoSuba Explosion 5 (manga version, technically a final volume but there’s a sequel), Little Miss P: The Second Day, Phantom Tales of the Night 4, The Saga of Tanya the Evil 10 (manga version), and A Witch’s Printing Office 3.

MICHELLE: So many paragraphs of things I’m not reading, with the probable exception of Eclair Bleue.

ANNA: I’m going to have a hard time doing pick of the week this week, despite this deluge of manga.

ASH: I’m glad to see publishers getting their books out there, but that is certainly a lot all at once!

MELINDA: A lot of… what?

SEAN: Stay masked even though all the manga is back! What are you getting?

By: Sean Gaffney

[weightlossfitness2]

The Things I “Think” I Did “Right”

All the air quotes on the earth in that weblog publish title…and that’s not by mistake. Parenting isn’t for the weak. Kids are wonderful, exhausting, valuable, life-giving, and all so very totally different. There’s no guide for this and so there’s the web to assist us all alongside. These ideas stem from the inflow of infants into my beloved one’s worlds and the uptick in dialog involving all issues child and toddler. With ladies who at the moment are 5 and three, my life appears to be like a bit totally different than it did when boobs, bottles, and diapers consumed my waking hours. I didn’t have all of it found out then (NO ONE does) and I don’t have all of it determine now…however seasons of parenting have handed. It is with cherished fondness and disbelief in how rapidly they got here and went, whereas a few of my nearest and dearests are drowning within the chaos that’s life with a brand new child. And so, this publish felt well timed and cathartic for me. Do not take any of this as creed, however quite the ideas and opinions of a Midwestern working mother who’s attempting to do her greatest!

The 10 Things I “Think” I Did “Right”

Honor the bedtime. Routine is nice…for everybody. Looking again, had I not had a predictable bedtime for the youngsters to maintain me sane, it might’ve been dangerous for everybody. I’m an individual who requires steadiness on a day-to-day foundation. I require “me” time every day. I make no apologies for that as a result of for me, it’s what permits me to be one of the best guardian I will be. We all know, or at the least hear, caring for ourselves first permits us to higher look after others. What you do with that point? Do what you like. After my youngsters go to mattress, it’s time I spend vegging on the sofa, running a blog, podcasting, enjoying hockey or tennis, or going out with pals – all of that are tremendous necessary to me. Parenting mustn’t require you to lose your identification or stop the actions you like. However, making certain the time to incorporate stated actions requires a little bit of construction and so look to create that construction by honoring the bedtime. Consistency of sleep breeds constant sleep. Not as soon as have my ladies ever left their room after being put down for the evening, no matter who’s in the home. Bedtime means…mattress. And if mornings come a bit too early, might I counsel the OK to Wake clock? Game changer.

Keep the bedtime routine easy. Mark or I aren’t all the time those to place our ladies to sleep and over the course of their lives, they’ve skilled a number of caregivers – from household to pals to babysitters. Keeping the bedtime routine easy sufficient to be replicated by anybody is essential to a profitable night away, whatever the circumstances. I hear so many pals get roped into a posh sequence of calls for from their youngsters within the moments main as much as mattress. For us, it’s tooth brushing, potty, a ebook every (learn collectively in one in all their beds), a tune for Piper, and 5 minutes of snuggles for Shea. The entire routine is 10 minutes, 15 max – depends upon what books they choose. If they select Where the Wild Things Are, they’re my favourite child of the day. If they select Wherever You Are: My Love Will Find You, I like it and cry. Every time. This easy routine that doesn’t veer off track permits anybody to step in, when wanted. It additionally ensures caregivers take pleasure in being with the youngsters – you all the time need your babysitters to say sure, and that doesn’t all the time boil right down to an hourly fee.

Limit display screen time, particularly hand-helds. This is a slippery slope and one that every one households can be on in some unspecified time in the future. Holding out so long as doable is essential. With uncommon exception, telephones or the iPad are by no means supplied on automotive rides (nonetheless, we now have by no means exceeded three straight hours within the automotive) or in eating places, medical appointments, and so forth. It’s merely not one thing they anticipate and so the battle isn’t there. Admittedly, handing over a tool would make issues 1000x simpler in lots of cases, however we’ve made a concerted effort to do it “the hard way” in limiting know-how in an try and not create little hellions. Those gadgets are ADDICTING. Consistently, the women are supplied the iPad on weekends whereas I/we exercise. This permits a structured, but restricted publicity and I need to say, they by no means give grief when it’s time handy the iPad again to me. They are, nonetheless, very dedicated to my at-home train routine When out, we strive to decide on kid-friendly eating places and breweries to spend time. We go ready with coloring books, markers, video games, and so forth. It’s not all the time simple, however nearly all the time, we achieve not providing know-how to make it by. Oh, and dancing is all the time inspired! Free leisure for me. At residence, the TV goes on at 7pm apart from on weekends after we begin our day with an hour or so of cuddle time on the sofa with Paw Patrol or the flavour of the week. Boundaries and consistency – there has by no means been rebuttal.

Baby led weaning. It’s easy – supply child what you’re consuming. It’s the lazy method, actually. Messy, sure…however there’s no thought to place into it. And anecdotally, I can inform you it really works – for me and others in my area who’ve used and studied child led weaning. The premise is just that as little folks, they require nothing particular by way of meals – no sure shapes, colours, sizes, textures, and so forth. Give meals of their pure state. When my youngsters have been beginning BLW, it seemed like handing them an apple (entire, presumably peeled) or a bit of avocado. It’s not the mashed up, pureed, diced or shredded to a pre-chewed consistency stuff. Adults with out tooth eat steak and corn-the-cob. Your child can adapt and take a look at any and all textures – give it a strive. Start early – like, 5-6 months. Aversions to tastes and textures can begin very early on. Consider nothing off-limits except it’s too spicy or closely seasoned. Cold celery makes an incredible teething stalk – give it a whirl. In the top, if you’d like good eaters, feed them something and all the pieces.

Don’t babysit. A Montessori method consists of plenty of self-play. I realized early on that my youngsters did greatest after I IGNORED them. Yes, you probably did learn that appropriately. For fairly a while, this got here with guilt. As a working mother, I come residence solely to let me youngsters entertain themselves? It appeared…incorrect. Being capable of look again on this journey of independence, I can see that it might be an absence of helicopter parenting that permits them to stroll by life confidently and independently. Next to by no means do my ladies require my presence, a lot much less ask for it. Please don’t misconstrue, although – I’m there, I’m simply not demanded. This sense of independence has additionally translated to much less “stranger danger”, separation anxiousness, and so forth. It has been years since one in all my youngsters cried after I’ve left or been away. Part of all mother and father crave that have to be needed, however the strengths of youngsters’s confidence is much extra necessary. Let youngsters be youngsters. They are imaginative, inventive, sensorial, and wish you lower than chances are you’ll need to come to phrases with. Do everybody a favor by nurturing the quiet alone and watch them develop and develop earlier than your eyes. When your youngsters amaze you in your absence is when you may actually really feel success as a guardian. Do you understand how many cute conversations I’ve heard whereas making dinner in silence as my eating room turns right into a magical artwork studio? Priceless.

Don’t get carried away with gift-giving. You know what younger youngsters love? YOU. Their household. Not STUFF. We groom them to need STUFF. Gifts for my youngsters are restricted to Christmas and birthdays and even then, what they get is restricted. This 12 months, they’re each requesting a yo-yo I can deal with that. At their joint birthday celebration, we firmly requested NO presents. For mother and father that insisted, a recreation that the youngsters may play collectively that day was voiced as a most popular possibility. By and enormous, accrued toys are simply that…accrued (and never essentially loved). They simply don’t want a lot. My excessive heels and winter equipment carry extra pleasure than some other toy to this point. The season of want-want-want is coming for us…this I do know (and dread). But we’re not there but and I do suppose that’s, at the least partially, as a result of some very intentional boundaries on presents.

Set expectations for the every day grind. You want and deserve assist, and youngsters are succesful folks – they’re you in a smaller physique. I don’t drink the Montessori Kool-Aid fully, nonetheless, this guideline is one I cling to. Shy of three years of age, my youngsters are/have been able to following a sequence of instructions and carrying them out. For instance, “Mommy is going up stairs to brush her teeth and put on her clothes for work. When you finish eating, please brush your teeth toothbrushes on the sink ledge with toothpaste on them, go potty, and put on your shoes and jackets.” Almost all the time, that is executed by the point I return from upstairs. Help from a sibling will be instrumental, however even nonetheless, youngsters are able to much more than we generally give them credit score for. Repetition is essential and in these first makes an attempt, be affected person and specific gratitude and delight of their means to hold out a sequence of to-do’s. Another instance: on the way in which residence from faculty/daycare, begin dialog about what is going to occur if you get residence. I’ll say one thing like, “When we walk in the door, I’d like you to take off your shoes and jacket and take your lunchbox out of your backpack and place it on the kitchen counter.” Done. After a number of weeks, I didn’t must ask…it simply will get executed. And one of the best half? They LOVE to be useful.

Take photos and movies. Lots of them. Unapologetically. Kids change SO quick. Duh. For folks like myself with a poor reminiscence and a love for pictures, the truth that I’ve 34,000 images on my telephone is one thing I’m not ashamed to confess! There’s plenty of these which can be of meals, it’s not all child picks But, most are positively child pics. Not solely photos you seize, however take household images. Some of my favourite images of my ladies have been professionally taken on the seashore or in a fruit orchard. Regularly capturing each their magnificence and their development has been necessary to me and opposite to widespread perception, not an enormous expense. Find these seeking to flip a interest right into a enterprise and get an incredible deal – there’s plenty of expertise on the market!

Start swim classes early on. This appears a bit foolish, however infants and children naturally love water and in life, we encounter water. It’s a hazard when you can’t swim. Learning find out how to swim at a younger age makes it simpler and safer for the kid to be in and round water. It additionally makes time on the seashore and pool far more enjoyable for care-givers. Plus, it’s nice train and enjoyable!

Encourage wholesome consuming habits. This appears fundamental (and naturally, I’m a dietitian), but it surely’s one thing plenty of mother and father battle with. Things corresponding to grazing on nutritionally void snacks all through the day and providing too many alternate options at meals can lend to poor vitamin and unhealthy relationships with meals. When youngsters start first meals, they need to strive new meals – it’s innate. To maintain that love for meals alive, ensure you’re providing three meals and a couple of snacks every day. Avoid the on-the-go graze that may trigger youngsters to not be hungry come dinner time. Does roasted asparagus sound good to you if you simply ate your physique weight in goldfish crackers? Never. Choose nutritious snacks which can be supplied in age-appropriate parts. Don’t be afraid to let youngsters get hungry. If they depart the dinner desk with out consuming, that’s on them (beginning at about age 2 half). My youngsters have gone to mattress refusing dinner many instances they usually’ve not as soon as claimed starvation earlier than mattress or in the midst of the evening. As caregivers, we now have to precise our authoritative feeding model and roll with our children’ selections to eat or not eat.

Well, that was one in all my longer posts…

Be nicely,

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Sophia Turner: Depression, it does not discriminate, rich, middle class or poor.

Sophia Turner: Depression, it does not discriminate, rich, middle class or poor.

Sophia Turner opened up about depression on Dr. Phil’s podcast.

Depression, it seeks both females and males and it does not discriminate.

In fact, it doesn’t care how much money you have, what house you live in, where you live or how many friends you have in life.

For example, I’ve had someone come to me and say “how can celebrities struggle with depression, they have everything they need and more.”

To be truthful, those who feel that way do not understand the mechanisms behind depression. There’s the impact of life events, genetic influences and even Synaptic transmission.

Each of these causes can connect to a person who has struggled with depression and they each present in different ways for those experiencing the symptoms of depression.

Having depression is a struggle worth battling.

I want to answer a question that many have asked “how can a celebrity be depressed?”

First, celebrities are people just like you and I. Further, we all bleed the same blood, just because one person has a million dollars in their account it doesn’t mean they are excluded for battling depression.

Sophia Turner even opened up about depression during the 2019 year. She opened up about her mental health on Dr. Phil’s podcast, Phil in the Blanks.

Turner first came into the limelight spotlight in 2011 and she’s been rather private about her personal life (as many celebrities). However, that did not mean she didn’t experience those emotions many of us have felt inside our hearts.

The Game of Thrones star shared how depression first struck when she was just 17-years-old. In fact, it was due to the fact in which she was receiving intense criticism about her role as Sansa Stark.

One lesser known fact about someone else we love from Game of Thrones, Emilia Clarke.

Did you know that she struggled with her health while filming Game of Thrones?

That’s right, she suffered two life-threatening brain aneurysms during production. Which also shows, health doesn’t discriminate.

Sophia Turner explained her depression to Dr. Phil.

“I don’t think I had any issues with it until I was 17 and then it just hit me,” she explained. “It was a combination of social media on the rise at that time, and also my friends were all going to university and I wasn’t going to university. I was working, but I was still living at my parents’ house and I felt very alone.”

Social Media has proven to have effects on people, good and bad. As for Turner it was not a pleasant one. Trolls would make her feel alone, defeated and unloved.

“I would just believe it,” she shared. “I would say, ‘Yeah, I am spotty. I am fat. I am a bad actress.’ I would just believe it. I would get [the costume department] to tighten my corset a lot. I just got very, very self-conscious. You see 10 great comments, and you ignore them, but one negative comment, it throws you off.

Eventually, things took a turn for the worse, depression began to affect her social life.

“I had no motivation to do anything or go out,” she shared. “Even with my best friends, I wouldn’t want to see them, I wouldn’t want to go out and eat with them. I just would cry and cry and cry over just getting changed and putting on clothes and be like, ‘I can’t do this. I can’t go outside. I have nothing that I want to do.'”

Beyond that, she opened up about the deep suicidal thoughts she’s had in the past.

“It’s weird,” she described. “I say I wasn’t very depressed when I was younger, but I used to think about suicide a lot. I don’t know why, though. Maybe it’s just a weird fascination I used to have, but yeah, I used to think about it. I don’t think I ever would have gone through with it. I don’t know.”

That’s why it’s important to speak to someone you trust. Whether that be a family friend, best friends or a therapist. In order to beat depression, you have to fight your thoughts, realize it will be okay (eventually) and fight for your life.

Unfortunately, depression takes many lives, it leads some to drugs and others to make life altering choices, ones that are permanente.

Turner shared how therapy and medication have helped her cope with her depression.

Although she still finds “getting out of bed” and “getting out of the house” challenging at times. She’s also found comfort in the support of her best friend and co-star Masie Williams, and her fiancé Joe Jonas.

“I love myself now, or more than I used to, I think,” she said. “I’m now with someone that makes me realize, you know, that I do have some redeeming qualities, I suppose. When someone tells you they love you every day, it makes you really think about why that is, and I think it makes you love yourself a little bit more. So, yeah, I love myself.”

Above all, she’s been doing a lot better after getting treatment and talking to those who understand and were willing to listen.

Isn’t it true to say most of us have been in a place where life felt impossible?

Maybe we don’t have large numbers in our banks and maybe bills are tight–maybe you do feel financially stable and comfortable but the symptoms of depression still take action in your life.

The most important action you can take is to seek help, the first step in feeling better is to talk about it, in fact, when has bottling emotions up helped a person?

Likely, never.

Most importantly, you must always remember, depression is temporary as long as you are proactive and seeking treatment.

Depression: The only person you need to impress is yourself! 

If you feel scared, don’t worry that’s normal but you can make choices to help curve that depression and finally get rid of that derealization, seeing the world around you for all the good you can pick out like a beautiful rose from a garden.

Depression is one difficult illness, especially combined with other life struggles like disease, feelings of being alone and abandoned.

Good friends listen, bad friends tell you “find someone else.”

There’s no sugarcoating toxic friendships, relationships, and family. And it’s no secret they can make your depression worse.

For example, as a person with Crohn’s disease, life has thrown shit my way (pun intended) and depression hit hard, for many reasons, there is this lack of self-worth, especially when you see others living a life you dream you could have, you know, good health.

It just goes to show, regardless of your station in life, depression tends to come at the most inconvenient times.

Signs of being in a toxic and dead-end relationship!

Always remember that the suicide hotline[Call 1-800-273-8255] is available, friends, family and a therapist can help. The emotions you are feeling are temporary and the thoughts invading your head, essentially locking you in a jail cell are temporary.

Taking action, fighting back, being strong are all hard tasks but it’s not impossible.

Truthfully, we’re not sure who needs to read this but we hope that it will shed light on the fact that almost everyone has felt these emotions before and it does get better, as long as you take action.

Nothing happens by chance, it happens by making changes.

Whatever you are facing, you can do it. You got this, you are strong, you are not those negative things inconsiderate people might say, you are not what your brain tends to believe, lastly, you can rewire those thoughts, it just takes time and patience.

Everyone deserves to be happy, nobody deserves to feel the weight of the world on their shoulders, remember who you are and what you are capable of achieving.

Most importantly, never settle for less than you deserve with ANYTHING in life.

Blessed be.

Sophia Turner on Dr. Phil. Talks depression.

The post Sophia Turner: Depression, it does not discriminate, rich, middle class or poor. appeared first on Positive Celebrity News and Gossip.

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[oovitus]

The Highmark Caring Place: Megan’s Story

I work at the Highmark Caring Place — a place where kids come after someone important to them has died.

You might think it’s a sad place. And there are sad moments, it’s true. But on the whole, the Caring Place is one of the most positive and joyful places I’ve ever encountered.

A lot of hope, and healing, happens here — right along with the pain and intense longing for those who aren’t here anymore. A fuller range of true human emotion and awareness is shared here than anywhere else I know.

I get to talk with — to listen to — kids and teens who have gone through some of the deepest and most disruptive experiences that anyone can undergo. They are the experts in grief. They teach me what grief is about.

One of the most profound teachers was Megan Leskanic, who I talked with throughout her teen years at the Caring Place.

At 10, Megan got into her family’s small plane, just like many times before. But this time, after take-off, there was engine trouble. The plane went down. Megan and her mom survived. Her dad and eight-year-old brother Danny did not.

Megan today with her family: husband Don, daughter Lillyanne, and son Daniel.

Megan first came to the Caring Place at age 12. Over the next five years I watched her transform into a confident, strong, perceptive young woman. She had remarkable insight into all she had experienced, from the pain of the loss to the hope she discovered at the Caring Place. Now married and the mother of two children, Megan generously agreed to let me compile some insights and experiences from interviews she did during her years at the Caring Place.

As Megan recently looked back on the words from her teenage years, she wrote:

“It all still holds true. Learning how to be a ‘normal’ human again and just learning to relax and breathe are almost near impossible tasks at the beginning of any grief story. I am so thankful that I had the Caring Place and was able to find my voice — that I was able to see that the impossible wasn’t so impossible with the help of others. I hope that my story will provide a little light — a little hope — to someone who has lost everything.”

I’m honored to share her words, and light, to celebrate the 10th annual Children’s Grief Awareness Day (November 15) and raise awareness all year round.

“your world goes dark…”

When you lose someone that has been in your life since you were born, your world goes dark. You shut yourself out from the world, you close yourself off. It’s like you’re in a dark tunnel by yourself.

I felt like there was no hope of going on with my life or having fun or making new friendships. It was much more than sadness. Being sad is when you lose your championship game or something — this was so much deeper. It took over everything I did.

Your life feels like it’s shattered in a million pieces. And there’s no way of fixing it. You have anger, hate, sadness, confusion — so many different emotions inside that you never had, all at one time. You wonder, how am I going to manage these millions of feelings running around in me?

Your whole personality changes when you go through the loss of a loved one, because that was your life, and it’s been taken away. You try to tell other people how you feel, but they don’t understand, so it hurts you even more.

“afraid…angry…alone”

I was scared, and scared to tell anyone I was scared, because I was a kid, and I didn’t think anyone would understand. I was scared to go on, scared to grow up without a dad and a brother.

With a parent, you feel like they’re supposed to be here guiding you. When your dad is taken away, how do you go through life? I thought I didn’t have a future.

I was 10 years old when the plane crashed and Danny was eight. I was the older one and I was supposed to look out for him. I struggled so much with the thought that I didn’t do my job as an older sibling to protect him. Why did he have to die and not me?

After they died, I felt like my father and my brother were watching over me, and I didn’t want to hurt them more, or make them mad. I felt like I was doing something wrong by laughing or having fun. I thought, Danny didn’t get his chance to have fun, so why should I? I felt it was wrong to laugh and have fun because I should be hurting and I shouldn’t be smiling. That’s how I felt every day.

+   +   +   +   +   +

The relationship I had with my mother after the accident — I wouldn’t call it a relationship. I would call it — surviving together. Just there, dealing with each other.

I thought I was the only one hurting. I didn’t want to talk to her because I didn’t feel that she understood me. It took me a while to realize that we were both hurting. Until I did, my only thought was, “Wow, I’m completely by myself.”

The two years between the accident and when we came to the Caring Place were full of battles with my mother, because I didn’t want to go out and do anything. I was scared — what if something happened to me? I didn’t want my mom to go through losing another child. I thought I had to protect myself. I didn’t go out with my friends, didn’t have birthday parties, didn’t go to movies, didn’t go to the swimming pool.

I didn’t want my mom to go out either. Every time she went out, I was afraid she was never going to return. I would wait up until she got back because I was afraid that I was going to lose someone else. I was very protective of her. I had to go everywhere with her. It was more than being afraid; it took over everything I did.

I was angry at relatives, and even my mom — I never meant to be, but I was angry because I saw my mom and her other family members still having their family, where I lost everyone on my father’s side. He was an only child, so I lost a whole side of my family. The anger got to the point where I would sit in my room and not talk to anyone because I was so jealous of everything everyone had. It hurt me. And hurt turned into anger. Instead of crying or letting it out, I just lashed out at people.

+   +   +   +   +   +

I couldn’t have fun, but I couldn’t express my pain. Family members and friends told me, “You have to be strong for your mom.” I took that as meaning I should keep my shame and guilt locked inside. I shut myself off. I felt like I already hurt her by not getting my brother out of the plane. So I didn’t want to open up and hurt her more by telling her how I felt. Being strong meant I can’t cry, I can’t show my emotions. In a way it meant that I have to forget my father and brother because if I thought about them, I would start crying and let all my emotions out.

So I tucked those memories away along with my feelings. I held it all in until I went to my room and closed my door and screamed into my pillow. My room was kind of my shelter away from the world.

At first, people say they’re proud of you for being strong, even if they allow you to cry a little at first. After a while, though, they get tired of all this grieving. It bothers them if you’re upset. It’s like they feel, “Ok, you’ve cried enough; here’s the real world. Why are you still hurt on holidays or their birthdays or family functions?”

I felt very alone. I thought there was no one in the world that felt like I did. I was the outcast, the stranger, the one looked down upon, the weird one at school. My friends didn’t understand what it was like to lose a dad or a brother. They would just sit there, looking at me, not knowing what to say. You know the accident is what everyone is thinking about. They wanted to know what happened. And I wanted to tell them about what happened. But they were scared to ask me.

I always felt like everything was hush-hush around me. My friends felt like they couldn’t say, “my dad and I went and did this,” or “my brother and I did that.”

I would tell them, “You can talk to me. It might hurt a little, but it’s ok.” But they didn’t want to hurt me or make me cry. In reality, it hurt 10 times worse because I felt like they couldn’t be open with me. I felt like I lost my friends. I would just sit in my room and cry.

Finding the Caring Place: “we are here for each other”

When my mom found out about the Caring Place, I was still so angry and consumed with my emotions, I didn’t want to try anything or talk to anyone. I was scared that the Caring Place was going to be a bunch of people telling me how to feel, how to act, what to think.

But my mom said, “In order for us not to lose each other, we need to do something. Just try it for me.”

The first Caring Place meeting, I just kind of sat there. At the next one, I told my story. And everyone was like, “Yes, I know how you’re feeling.”

Megan participating in a Caring Place group session as a young teen.

After a while I realized that this is one of the best places you could go, because they don’t force anything, they don’t pressure you, they’re just there purely to help you. And in return you learn how to help others. It’s like the Pledge we say at every meeting: “I am here for you, you are here for me, we are here for each other.”

I learned that I’m not the only person going through this. I was with other people my age that had gone through the same thing. They’re experiencing the awkwardness at school and with family members. As a group, you come up with ideas and give each other advice. People share experiences from their life, and you can take them and apply them to your life.

At the Caring Place, I also saw that there were always adults in the teen and youth groups. I thought they were therapists at first, but they were volunteers who were there just to support us. A lot of them had also lost somebody. That made me feel so much better and safer and more secure, because they knew how I felt and they weren’t there to judge me, analyze me, tell me how to feel. They were volunteers giving from their time and their hearts, caring enough to come and help others.

“I learned that you can hurt…but you can also laugh”

As soon as you walk into the Caring Place, you see people laughing and talking, having a good time. When I first got here, a few kids pulled me over and they’re like, “Come on, hang out with us.” And I thought, “Is this okay?” It took a while to realize it is okay, because we all feel the same way. Just because you’re hurt doesn’t mean you can’t smile or laugh or have fun. I learned that you can hurt as much as you want, but you can also laugh as much as you want.

I became a stronger person by coming to the Caring Place because I now express my emotions instead of hiding them. I learned that it was ok to cry, to laugh, to be angry. Those aren’t bad feelings. There are no bad feelings.

I also learned that it’s ok to talk to family members or a parent about hard things. If they start crying and you start crying, that’s ok. After crying you’ll laugh. It’s just that you have to go through the grief and pain to get to the good times.

The Caring Place also helped me express and deal with my anger. If you needed to express anger, you could express it in different ways. You could sit by yourself, beat on the punching bag, or go in the game room and take out your anger on an air hockey table. Before, I felt that you couldn’t get rid of that anger. After I started opening up to my family members, the anger slowly went away. Instead of that hurt turning into anger at holidays or family vacations, I talk to them. We can all go out as a group now instead of my pushing them away.

“my mom and I have the best relationship”

It was important having my mom at the Caring Place with me because we both worked on our grief in our groups and grieved in our separate ways with people our age. But when we went home, I always had someone who knew what the Caring Place was about, who knew that you don’t have to talk if you don’t want to, but I’m there for you. That’s how we are now.

We watched each other change completely. Instead of being always sad or angry or hurt, we watched each other slowly emerge and have the relationship we do today.

I found out how my mom felt losing her husband and her son, as opposed to me losing a father and a brother. We talked about these differences. She tried explaining to me what it meant to lose a husband. And she never had the loss of a brother, so I tried telling her what it was like that I lost my best friend, my play partner, someone to watch movies with, to go build a tent and have fun with.

We worked on it together because if we didn’t, we would have lost each other. Now my mom and I have the best relationship.

Getting on with Life, Not Getting Over Loss

Megan at a Caring Place forum.

At the Caring Place I learned that just because people died, it doesn’t mean you don’t remember them. Instead of “getting over it,” you’re going to deal with the loss, move on and live your life, and take them and their memories with you.

That helped me a lot because I thought I had to forget about them. Now, I remember their smiles and the good times we had. I remember Danny and his sports. One of the songs my dad used to sing to me was “My Girl”, and I still sing that song and my friends still sing that song to me. That’s a good way for me to remember him. The Caring Place also helped my mom open up to tell me more about my father, and helped me ask more about my father. I listen to the stories my mom and other family members tell me, and so I learn from him even now.

Yes, it does hurt. Maybe you’re out somewhere and you realize again that they’re not with you. That tingle of pain comes back in your stomach and you’re upset. But then you realize, “I still have them inside me, and I’m glad I do.”

Coming to the Caring Place, the fear of losing my mom went away because I realized you can’t live like that. If you live in fear, you’re going to be depressed, and you’re going to not only let your parent down, you’re going to let your loved ones down who died. I realized that I don’t have anything to be ashamed of because I’m here and Danny’s not. He would be upset if I didn’t move on with my life.

The Caring Place helped me regain that trust with living.

“my light of hope at the end of that dark tunnel”

When you’re in that dark tunnel, consumed by so many feelings, you don’t want anyone to save you. Even if people try to help, you’ve shut yourself off. There’s no one else in that tunnel; it’s yourself alone.

I knew that I didn’t want to be like this, but I didn’t know how to get out of it, I didn’t know how to stop what I was feeling.

The Caring Place was my light of hope at the end of that dark tunnel. That’s where I discovered that I didn’t have to stop what I was feeling. I took it and dealt with it instead of not dealing with it.

People feel like death is something you have to shut out and push away, you can’t talk about it. But death is a part of life, and death can be dealt with. It’s ok to be sad, to be hurt, but dealing with it, talking about it, it heals with time.

Before I came to the Caring Place, I felt my life was over, but the Caring Place brought back the hope and joy of living and having fun, and that’s what the Caring Place is about.

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[succeedly]

The Authenticity of Vulnerability

Day 26 of 80 Days of Excellence

From the Cool Cat Teacher Blog by Vicki Davis

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The greatest battles are often in the brain just behind a person’s eyes. For that is where we try to mask the emotions and the vulnerability we feel when we finally admit to ourselves that things aren’t OK.

After reading the book, The Deeper Life, I was challenged by the author Daniel Henderson to write my personal theology statement. And one of my own goals is to

“live transparently before the God who knows my every thought.”

But people aren’t God. They don’t read minds. So, we have to COMMUNICATE.

People Don’t Read Minds (And You Can’t Either)

I opened up to someone today about something and they said,

“I had no idea you ever needed anything. You seem like you have everything together all the time.”

Well, I don’t.

I’m hurting. I’m having a hard time in some areas in my life right now. There are things I can’t and won’t talk about on social media. But just because I don’t spill my guts to all those “friends” who really aren’t my friends, doesn’t mean that the hurt isn’t there.

I bet you most of reading this post probably have problems you don’t share on social media either.

Oh Lord, It’s Hard to Be Vulnerable

But it is hard to be vulnerable. And truthfully, not everyone deserves to know your weaknesses.

It takes time to establish trust. It takes time to find trustworthy people.

But if you never open up and tell anyone that sometime is wrong, how are they supposed to know?

If you act like you’re perfect all the time, who is going to trust you?

If you don’t put yourself out there you won’t be hurt. You’ll never cry over the betrayal of a friend. You’ll never have your heart broken.

But you’ll also never cry when a friend has their first granddaughter. You’ll never feel your heart swell with pride as someone overcomes a struggle you’ve helped them through.

Vulnerability is hard and yet it is necessary to build trusting relationships.

Are you willing to be vulnerable?

Are you willing to admit that you’re not perfect?

Do you need to have a conversation with someone and open up about something difficult you’re experiencing or a past mistake that might help a friend with a present problem?

Perfect is a lie. The sooner you stop pretending, the sooner you can be refreshingly human and perhaps move to a deeper level of friendship and intimacy with some important people in your life.

This post is day 26 of 80 days of excellence. I’ve created an email list below for those of you want to be emailed the full posts written as part of this series.

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