#and don’t bother telling me go thru insurance
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lmao since my ADHD and anxiety have been absolute hell lately i decided to maybe try out a therapist and possibly go on meds for the first time in my life but there’s literally no therapists available. not in person or telehealth. there’s literally no one
#and don’t bother telling me go thru insurance#don’t have insurance bc i can’t afford it#i can barely afford a therapist session actually regardless if i had insurance or not#but like hoooooly shit#20+ therapists contacted and none are taking new patients#and waiting list for the only telehealth therapist that specializes in adhd is years long#they gave an opening in December 2025 🙃#lmFAO#looks like i’m just doomed to rawdog my mental illness for life 💀#apple babble 🍎#non fandom
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I’m venting so if you don’t like it get the hell over it. And don’t bother sending me hate, bc I’m not gonna post it for your satisfaction. That would be you “attention seeking” so careful. I’m NOT the one. 
Hearing your doctors use the same excuse that “you’re too young” for this and that is honestly the most heartbreaking thing you could hear
Because when there’s something that could help you live a better life that they CAN do but WONT because you’re not “old enough to deal with these problems” it’s like saying
I can’t have a Better life because you won’t help me GET THERE
It’s not fair it’s not fair it’s not FUCKING FAIR
you’re supposed to be the one HELP me have a better life and help me get there but bc I’m too young to have something my grandma would have, so I can’t have it right? I can’t have a PROCEDURE THAT COULD HELP ME HAVE A BETTER LIFE AND MAYBE EVEN A BETTER MENTAL STATE BECAUSE OF MY AGE!??? so if you’re young fuck you, come back when you’re 50 when your problems are 10x worse. Nice.
ITS NOT EVEN ABOUT “our health care system sucks” it’s literally
: “hey doc I have this problem, I did everything you told me to do for months and now I’m back but the problems worse, I looked into this, maybe this could help?”
: “We usually do this for people who are older or senior citizens, your insurance probably won’t approve because of your age”
: “ I’ve done MY CRITERIA of shit IM SUPPOSED to do so that’s it??? Go home and just suffer some more because I’m not old?”
See how fucked that is. I just wonder how the SUICIDE rates are from lack of giving a FUCK in the field is
Would you tell a kid from St Jude’s they’re too young to have cancer? Would you tell my friend Julia who’s had three back surgeries and major health issues that she’s too young given the proof that HEALTH HAS NOTHING ON AGE???
I can’t get better IF YOU WONT HAVE EMPATHY TO HELP.
GO A STEP AHEAD TO HELP YOUR PATIENT. GODDAMN YOURE GETTING PAID SO WHY NOT? GO A STEP AHEAD YOU COULD SAVE SOMEONE. LITERALLY
Goddamn you can’t go a step further in helping me because you’re told not to right?
Fuck your EGO. Fuck your degree, you may have went to school for this shit but that doesn’t mean you KNOW everything. You aren’t me , you don’t see or feel what I feel so don’t INVALIDATE what I go thru just because you studied this shit and I didn’t. Half of people have to self diagnose themselves and FIND THEIR OWN PROBLEMS WHEN ITS YOUR JOB TO!???
So “young” folk out there if you’re dealing with anything chronically be ready to never get better because you’re too young to get better.
Like I’ve told many people before. When they say “it gets better” no actually it doesn’t. Not for people like me. I can’t get better when I GET NO HELP IN ORDER TO HELP ME GET BETTER. THERES NO POINT. So no it will NEVER get better only WORSE. It’ll only get better when I’m dead and fucking gone. It’s the sad fucking truth.
I’ve cried and hyperventilated too much today I juts I just can’t do it anymore it’s too much. There’s no hope for me to thrive. I don’t deserve to have a better or even tolerable life. Clearly. So thanks doc(s) thank you for adding one more person to that list of nothing than better off disposed. Thanks for not allowing me to have something that could help me live a better life.
What a fucking day..
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Paula why you faking accounts of me with Lauren London to tell TRIATAN go marry another bitch ..
AGAIN I AINT TALK TO TRIST UNTIL 2017 a quick week over text for weed
And a nigga gon ask me
“What’s yo favorite color”
- CLICK NIGGA TF IM ASKING FOR A DEALER NOT A FUCK BUDDY ..
I AINT EVEN SEEN YOU IN PERSON TO KNOW YOU LIKE THAT YOU A WHOLE NEW PERSON IM TEXTING FOR A SPECIFIC THING YOU GIVING ME SOMETHING ELSE I AINT ASK FOR ..
FUCK TARD NOAH I ASKED YOU FOR UR DEALER NUMBER .. you tell Tristan I’m looking to fuck 🫤
- that’s weird ima go back to the shops ..
BUTTA RED FEB 2017 I SPENT MY $$ ON MY FAMILY STORES ( not knowing they was mine) BC QUALITY TO QUANTITY AND PRICE .. ( I’m not talking bout what Tristan was selling 2020 sep/ Oct I even told that nigga let me talk to my uncle for you cause you bringing in boof now and coo I went from 250$ first week to $800 NOT ASKING YOU TO PAY ME so he can make his rent ( IM GOOD ON MY EDD + JAMAL PAYING RENT IN 1/3 W ME only thing I can’t get in full is a full tank since ya wana be nosey but it’s cool MY WORKOUT AREANA UPSTAIRS HAY TENNIS COURT .. and I only drive a few places .. until you fucked moved out that’s less mouths to feed for me to take a night drive w a blunt thru Griffith listening to my music to come and art therapy my pain before bed .. FUCK YOU MISERABLE JUDING NOSEY ASS LAZY “go getters” - COOKIE CUTTER PERFECT WHITE LIES GAINING FAT ASS COLOR)
Lee I got my $20,000 settlement .. Neil Weimar gets $5000/6 … and then you bugging me for another $6000 when WE AGREED ON $3000. Ya you type out a paper with what i owe you for medical bills from my accident Jan 26 2015 … ITS A CASE IM ON LEIN YOU ALREADY BEEN PAID BACK WHY YA DOUBLE TRIPPLE CHARGING ME!?? .. YOU TALKING W NEIL FOR THE DOCTORS TO PAY UR ACCOUNT N NOT MINE ( which I wudnt stress cus I’m on UR SAG INSURANCE and you dropping the copay.. TF MAKE SENSE TO ME YOU GET THE REIMBURSEMENT OFF THAT)
… but how you tack on another $3000 Lee .. then Howard get mad at me “ur being disrespectful “ UR MARRIED TO A DUMB ASS PROSTITUTION DOING ALL TYPES OF FRAUD AND EMBEZZLEMENT BUT TELL YOU ME AND MY FAMILY THE CRIMALS .. tf when did I hit you in that moment Lee “GET OUT MY HOUSE”
NO YOU GET OUT MY ROOM.. a bitch chilling minding her business probably just finished nasm.. WHAT ARE YOU BOTHERING ME FOR
“It’s too peaceful in the attic office I’m surrounded by cashay art let me go bother her”
… why don’t I spend my money to go make myself better .. I DID ON THINGS I LIKE WANTED N NEEDED but it DONT LINE UP W YO HO life so YOU DEEM ME LAZY N A SYPHONER
- that’s a weird reality check ..
Ian I DID ART AT CSUN AND STOP GOING TO CLASSES CAUSE WASNT NO BODY TEACHING ANYTHING I NEEDED .. how you got me in summer school math class and I take TWO FINALS IN THE SAME DAY AND PASS 90 and 86 and I ask why ya tell me “we don’t know “
I get to Csun WHY YA GOT ME IN THE SAME CLASS .. take my final I’m bored 70-80 .. go into the next semester WHY THE FUCK IS IT THE SAME MATH CLASS!??
IM DONE ATUPID SINCE YOU LIKE WASTING MONEY SO DAMN MUCH LOOK IN THE FUCKING MIRROR.
🫤🙂
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Yup definitely supporting lilbabyfae any time she’s posting pictures , this girl seems so friggin cool and very very very diapered lol love it , would love to talk to you sometime always been curious about diaper lover girls and what it’s like for them, I know what it’s like for me and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I know I keep saying it but hopefully in Wednesday there will be no other way and I can talk my doctor into considering me diaper dependent for bed wetting , seems like the only thing I won’t have to go thru a bunch of test for and offered a bunch of meds that I’ll turn down even if I didn’t want to wear diapers 24/7 or every time I closed my eye. Not a fan of any prescription meds so I’m thinking she’s going to have no problem saying I have a medical need for it and then maybe just maybe my diapers will be covered by insurance . This was always my dream , I know it’s a weird dream to dream about one day putting yourself back into diapers (check that box 8 years non stop now and wore off and on for 20 plus years , want to say I tried my first diaper at either 15 or 16 and I loved it, was always fascinated by them and jealous that I couldn’t wear diapers any more but other kids could , then I find out about adult who wear diapers too and right then in there I said to myself that I couldn’t wait to be an adult and have my own place cause the first thing I was going to do was buy my first package of diapers and begin wearing any time I’m home. At that point in time I don’t think we had the internet yet so I had no idea there were way way more than just me out there, made the world of a difference knowing there are thousands and thousands if not millions of people just like me, girls and guys , young in their 20s or 30s right up to older folks who enjoy them also. Once I found my people online it still took me a long time to understand what I was/am and I got to tell ya , I probably would have hidden it for the rest of my life if (my wife) girlfriend at the time was talking to me in the phone and asked me if I had any kinks. She had already told me some of hers and I definitely felt weird about telling her so early in in our relationship and I hesitated but she pushed the issue , I wasn’t able to verbally tell her out of embarrassment but I did find it much easier to text her our initials ABDL and tell her to research it so I don’t have to actually say it and explain it knowing that I had never once in my 30 years talked to another single soul about it, was way way to scared and really liked this girl but she pushed it and I took a leap of faith , didn’t bother her not one bit (I’m 38 now and still married to the same girl, diaper girl now and that happened quick , she loves them too, even when we are not getting along she’s still setting her diapers and god I love it !!
Happy Friday, diaper lovers 💜
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Ramble about the mental illness mentally illing under the cut, tw: depression, gender dysphoria, transmasc struggles
I just needed to get this out of my head, pls do not reblog
Things were good, so I hadn’t been taking my antidepressant as often as I should. Of course my brain decided to show me Exactly why that was a Bad Idea TM. But then again, sometimes I have these low lows even when im on the stuff consistently, so…
I started watching more trans content, because representation is cool to see and memes are fun- and then my brain hit me w the whole “you’re too much and not enough” bullshit.
Too different from other transmasc ppl, not doing enough for your medical/physical transition, etc etc
There are Reasons I haven’t pursued things like HRT: my health insurance is shit, I am way too paranoid to remove my Nexplanon birth control implant, I already have a general idea of the hell that elevated T levels inflict upon my psyche due to terrible moodiness w regular periods, and I really don’t wanna go thru a second puberty, and I’m not even down w all of the changes that come w T, etc etc, but that doesn’t stop my brain from making the comparisons to other transmasc ppl around me and telling me that I’m forever falling short
And before the severe dysphoria dropped, I was already feeling lonely- I finally made some new friends, but now my brain is demanding a partner, and that’s been a whole thing since there aren’t many eligible (read: mutually interested and available) queer ppl near me, and dating is hard, and my brain keeps telling me I’m too weird…
These brainworms are just so overwhelming, and even after 27 years of being alive I still don’t know how to make myself feel any better, I’ve only ever been able to Survive feeling this shitty, and every time I try to talk to friends about it I feel worse for bothering/burdening them… I should talk to my therapist, but that’s out-of-pocket…
Anyway, if you actually read all that, thx, I guess
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i do not have anything very new for you this week. i do, however, have this revised version of the first chapter of the ‘villainess’ side of my heroine-villainess isekai bodyswap story, which is, essentially, a full rewrite. i have made some changes that have brought our pov character a little more in line with my mental image of her. to quote someone that i had look at this: ‘Before mina seemed more refined like she kills u by poisoning u thru ur tea and then "ohoho"ing as u slowly lose consciousness and die, and now mina seems like she kills u by straight up ripping ur spine out lol’
i always did wonder why i never saw the ‘original’ villainess in otome isekai stories do some major physical damage for funsies, y’know?
warning: this thing is 2k+ words long.
Why’s it so fucking loud. Who’s screaming bloody murder in here? Shut up, I got the worst headache and whatever slick steaming pile of shit you think you are, you ain’t making it better. If you won’t keep that hole in your face quiet, what if I just heal it closed? You won’t get a choice then, how about that?
I’m laid out flat on the floor, too. It’s wet, there’s something soaking in my shirt and my hair. It better not be vomit. Three fucking faces of Knight, how much did I drink last night.
I crack an eye open. “Th’ fuck’s goin’ on.”
There are people with the dumbest fucking faces staring down at me. “You’re awake!” one of them exclaims, like everyone else has useless holes for eyes. Course I’m awake, that something you really feel you gotta tell the world?
“Shit, really? Wow! Never woulda guessed,” I say as I drag myself to my feet. Urgh, feels like I drank my way through the entire bar. Did I get run over by a carriage or something too? I’m real fucked up — balance off, arms and legs ain’t landing right, everything aches, and I got clothes on that look like I stole them from a crackpot fashion student.
Though, hey, looks like everyone here is dressed like that. Maybe it’s the crackpot fashion student side of campus. I’m in some really shiny cafe, by the looks of it. The aesthetic here is… really something. Didn’t know we had this kind of place at the university.
Let’s put that aside for now. I crack my neck and ignore everyone talking at me as I give the entire place a once-over. No sign of Emily or Asher, which doesn’t sound right. If I’m this messed up, normally Asher’d be right there with me. Emily, at least, would’ve tracked me down and tried to kick me in the head or something. Not that I’d need a kick in the head, it hurts bad enough as it is. Maybe enough that I can say that I’ve knocked something loose. Hearing’s definitely off, it’s doing funny things to my voice. Not liking that very much at all.
“How much is a drink ‘round here?” I say, because while alcohol got me into this, I’ve heard great things on how alcohol can get me out of this.
“I don’t think you need a drink,” says an absolute fucking killjoy from somewhere behind me.
“‘Scuse me?” I say as I do an about-face. The killjoy in question looks boring enough that I’d forget him instantly if it weren’t for the eyes. Real pretty shade of blue, nice enough that probably some asshole’s tried yanking them from his skull. It’s a wonder he still has them! Maybe he’s a good enough fight that people don’t bother, huh?
He doesn’t react when I step in for a closer look — yeah, there we go, left eye, the scars are barely there, but it looks like someone’s been using their nails to make an attempt. Honestly, you’d think he’d flinch a little with me getting that close to his face, it’s not like his glasses’ll be any good at protecting him. But no, he just stands there and says, “I think you need first aid. You might have a concussion. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but you’re bleeding. A lot.”
…Hmm.
“Am I?” I say. I reach for the bits of me that I’d hoped hadn’t been sitting in vomit and… yeah. My fingers come away red.
Trace a little further up to the back of my head, and there’s the head wound. Not as deep as I’d think, but it’s there, along with a very long braid I don’t remember getting.
Maybe I am concussed. Should’ve noticed both of those things a lot sooner.
“Yeahhhhh, okay,” I say. “Lil later, then.” After I fix myself up, maybe.
“I think you’re actually supposed to avoid drinking after a concussion altogether,” says Absolute Fucking Killjoy.
“Fuck you,” I say. Of all things, that’s what gets him to flinch. Interesting priorities he’s got there.
About the drink, though. He ain’t wrong. I know how head wounds work. But those rules on what to do with them? That’s for other people.
“You need a doctor—”
Please. Last time I needed a doctor was years ago.
This kind of thing, it’s easy enough to take care of. So easy that it should be already healed up, but whatever. Just a little concentration, and —
And.
...What's this?
“That’s new,” I say, squinting at the crackling light running over the palm of my hand. Real fancy, real nice to look at. Doesn’t feel like much, but I bet I could make something like this hurt if I wanted to. Nice little add-on, this. I like what I got — I’m the best with what I got — but power is power. Nothing wrong with having a little extra in your punches.
Except this ain't anything I can do. This ain't anything I should be able to do. That’s pretty fucking strange, isn’t it?
“What are you doing,” says Killjoy, voice sharp.
The face he’s making is probably hilarious. It’s less interesting than the way light curls over my fingers, trailing over my wrist as I twist my hand this way and that. If I let it, maybe it’d spread further up my arm. How much higher could it go, really?
I don’t get to find out, because Killjoy snatches my hand, snapping his own fingers over it until only light you can see has to fight its way out from where skin meets skin. And then it’s not even that, dying away until it goes dark completely.
Oh this bitch.
“Well, ain’t you forward, huh?” I say, baring my teeth. “What d’you think you’re doin’?”
“You’ve got a concussion,” Killjoy reminds me, like he thinks I forgot. I ain’t forgetting nothing, got it? It’s easy to take care of — just a little thought, and maybe it’s taking a little more effort, but the skin knits up just fine.
I sweep a hand lightly over the back of my head, just to make sure everything’s in order. The swelling’s gone down, the bruising’s gone, eyesight seems pretty clear. Headache and bodyache’s still there, which is annoying. There’s been some improvement, but that’s not what I’m looking for. It should be gone. Is it not physical damage, then? What, is it psychosomatic or something? That’s a shit explanation.
It’s only after my self-checkup that I realize that Killjoy is still talking. “— can take you to the clinic,” he’s saying, sounding very earnest. He’s still holding my hand.
I shake him off impatiently. “That’s unnecessary,” I say, and push open the shiny glass doors so I can find Asher or Emily or someone and go on with my life.
I don’t get more than a few steps outside before I realize I’m running headfirst into a problem. Namely, that the outside that greets me is not the university. Not even close. Not unless the mayor sent the entire city crashing down and decided to rebuild from the ground up. Not unless everyone collectively decided to take overly-caffeinated fashion students’ advice when it came to everyday wear. Not unless somebody made far too many innovations in automobile development and decided to implement them on every vehicle I can see here. Not unless all of that happened while I was passed out.
No. I should have noticed that before, too. I don’t pass out. Alcohol fucks me up, sure. But I’ve never drunk so much that I got knocked unconscious. I’ve never been able to drink enough to knock me unconscious.
…I remember now. I didn’t go out drinking last night. No, what happened was that some asshole attacked me— or, you know, tried to attack me for maybe a solid minute before I started beating the shit out of him for daring to ambush me. I was doing quite a good job, if I do say so myself. I know I broke some bones, broke his face, had my hands around his neck, and it would have only taken me a second or so more -- just one good squeeze! -- to pulp his windpipe, and he would be dead.
But I didn’t get to that part. The last thing I remember was putting just enough pressure on his throat to make him choke, and then… nothing. That’s it. That’s all I have before I woke up in the cafe.
I’m missing something. I know I am. It’s pissing me off.
That fuckwad. What did he do? Clearly I made a mistake letting him breathe for more than a minute or so, I should’ve just killed him on sight. If I find him again — no, when I find him again — I’m going to squeeze the answers out of him and grind his skull into paste, I’m gonna make him wish he was never born, I’m gonna make sure he’s in so many fucking pieces no one can tell his —
“Hey,” says Killjoy, because I suppose he followed me out or something. “We really need to get you to a doctor. I know it doesn’t seem like a big deal, but even if it’s not a concussion, it’s safer to get it looked at, you know? You said you were on university insurance, right? So it’s not like it’s even going to cost —”
And then he shuts up, because I have him by the collar of his shirt and he’s suddenly bent over enough that he’s barely an inch away from my face.
“Please. Would you kindly keep your mouth closed,” I say. “If not, I’m afraid I’ll have to make you choke on your own teeth. Do I make myself clear.”
Killjoy doesn’t close his mouth. It’s hanging open gently, his pretty blue eyes wide and shocked. But I suppose he understands the spirit of what I’m asking for, because he doesn’t say anything, even when I let him go and kindly push him back upright.
Well, no, actually, there is one thing. There’s a name he whispers: Allison. But it’s so quiet that I can generously pretend I can’t hear it and let him keep his mouth in one piece. I leave him standing there, and set off.
Where? It doesn’t matter. I walk through black-paved streets and stone-slab sidewalks, speed past too-tall buildings and too-bright colors and hoping for — I don’t know. One familiar building. Something, anything, that I can recognize.
But… nothing. It’s like I’m an entirely different country. An entirely different world.
How long was I out? Am I missing memories? What did that sad excuse for an ambusher do?
As if this day couldn’t get any better, Killjoy finds me at the entrance of a tiny, cramped alleyway, shadowed by buildings rising tall around.
“You just never fuckin’ give up, do you?” I say, sharp smile sliding easily across my face. I don’t know where I am, but I know I’m a fair distance away from where I started. He can’t have just coincidentally run into me. He had to have either followed me or known where I’d end up. It doesn’t matter which. Either option means that he’s still thinking of me.
He starts when I turn around and face him — he probably didn’t expect me to figure out he was there that quickly, huh? Well, I have to give him credit, he really is quiet. And he stays quiet, too, even as he scrambles backwards when I start stalking towards him.
“You gonna tell me I need a doctor again, huh?”
Go on. Say it. I gave you a warning, I told you what I’d do to you, it’s not my fault you can’t listen. I’m looking forward to it, actually! Thank you for showing up just when I needed stress relief!
“… not Allison,” Killjoy says, so softly I barely hear it.
“Pardon?”
“You’re not Allison,” he hisses, and oh, is that a sight — his eyes are aglow, the light behind them illuminating their blue so that it shines against the darkness. How pretty. How valuable. Even more so than when I thought the only thing that stood out about them was the color. Really, how good of a fight must he be that he still has them?
I’m gonna find out.
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One last thing I’m gonna say
To all my fellow high-pain-tolerance-havers...be careful not to underestimate what signs your body is sending you. I know this partly happened because I’m just...used to working through pain to the point that pain really doesn’t bother me unless it makes me physically unable to move. For me, pain isn’t reason enough to not do a thing...and that’s not necessarily a good thing. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t think I have a chronic pain problem or something. I’ll find out more once I get a GP after insurance kicks in after the new year.
But like...I think I was unintentionally taught to blow it off. I don’t remember much about the time I was with my mom, but I do know it was an abusive situation, to the point where if my grandparents hadn’t taken me, the state was just about to. They joked about how I was a people pleaser, somehow missing that huge ass red flag from a small child being way too obedient and eager to please coming out of a known bad situation, but hey, my older brother was the one setting fires and getting bad grades in school, so of course he was the one in therapy. And isn’t it just great to have a kid around who will do any chore you ask? Who’s so good and quiet? And hey, if they get sick and have to stay home from school, you don’t gotta do jack shit to make sure they’re fine other than say ‘you know where the water is, and you know where the canned soup is. Don’t watch tv or play games when you’re sick. If you’re well enough to do that, you would be well enough to be at school and aren’t you just being lazy and trying to get out of class if you do those things?’ And there’s the expectation that if you don’t do as you’re asked, you’re lazy. Use some more elbow grease. Don’t complain because your bones hurt because you went from being tiny kid sized to 5′6″ in one school year, it’s just growing pains, everyone gets those.
So you just learn to go through it without giving it much thought, because after all, doesn’t everyone else do the same thing? But no, you find out as an adult that everyone else is a bunch of pansies who cry over every little thing. But then when you get older something big happens and your doctor tells you ‘how the hell did you walk in here and not have to be brought in? What do you mean you made sure to take out the trash first before driving yourself here??’ And then you realize that maybe people aren’t crybabies...maybe that’s the actual baseline and you have just been taught, however unintentionally, that your discomfort isn’t important or even a factor in what’s expected of you.
It’s not a healthy attitude, I realize now, but I’ve always had the thought of ‘How I feel at any given time doesn’t change the reality of what has to be done. My back cramping up doesn’t change the fact that x task has to be done, so I have to do it anyway.’ I...I gotta work on that. And stop putting so much crap in my body.
I’m worth taking care of, so I’m gonna try to think of myself as like, a little creature in a habitat. I don’t wanna get the creature the cheap ass feed that has god-knows-what in it. I should get it the good stuff that’s easier on the stomach and promotes good health. I should make sure it gets enough sunlight and water and enough sleep. Enrichment good. Be careful of what snacks I give it. Find some good stretches for the critter. See if it wants to think about feelings. Don’t spend so much on drive thru food and take the time to make it a good sandwich or get some good yogurts. Do paperwork that helps the critter get good vet care even though you fucken HATE paperwork and phone calls.
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@cupidmarwani // this isn’t 100% happy but here we go
I think along with being bullied for being “weird” (aka showing signs of (unmedicated) ADHD) he was also bullied for being GNC, or “obviously” gay, even though he was like... convinced he was cis and straight (until high school)
10 y/o Buck: it’s completely normal to get “!!!” when the cashier at subway calls you sir even though you’re definitely definitely definitely a girl :) 100% girl :)
I think it’s important to note that he definitely knew that, like, gay people were a thing - I think there was probably an elderly lesbian couple that frequented his shul as a child and he was always just *saucer eyes* at them
(also he didn’t know why he was so “obsessed” with seeing gay couples on the street... or at his shul... until he was like “oh... I am a gay people... nice :)”)
12 y/o Buck: being uncomfortable with your birth name to the point of being nauseous every time you hear it is super normal actually :) anyway call me Buck or I’ll kick your shins :)
anyway Buck joined GSA his freshman yr of high school because he thought it’d be a great way to be an Ally(tm) and definitely wouldn’t awaken anything in him :)
when he joined GSA that’s when he met his Very First Trans Person
but let’s be real - he has probably met a trans person before without knowing it but, like, this was the first trans person he met who was like “I’m trans :)”
anyway! she was a trans woman (Ellie), two grades above him, and the first time she talked about her experiences(tm), Buck was just *saucer eyes* and he was just :O
14 y/o Buck: this sounds similar to my experiences :) I’m not trans though :) because I’m a Girl :) 100% a girl :)
but like anyway he kept going to GSA... as an Ally(tm)... and also he asked Ellie a lot of questions because he wanted to be a Great Ally(tm) and not because he was trans
two months later he was like “hmm... so that seems like... it was a lie...” and he came out - only to the people in GSA though - and he started testing the waters with new names (but he still mostly went by Buck as a “safe” name)
he came out to Maddie first- over winter break. it was the fifth night of Hanukkah. their parents had gone to bed and they were sitting in the living room, watching the candles burn, and eating the last of the latkes (and also arguing a little over which topping is best- sour cream or ketchup)
then he just kind of blurted it out- it definitely went something like “I’m sorry but ketchup is the best topping, you’re just wrong :/” then he blurts out “I’m trans” and Maddie’s probably kind of like “...okay? that has nothing to do with what is the superior topping but... okay? I still love you?”
obviously I think they have a more... serious, in-depth discussion about Buck being trans later but when he first tells her they just kind of leave it at that and move on
he comes out to their parents (with Maddie’s support) probably the first week of summer and I think they’re a little confused but they’re pretty supportive and do their best to educate themselves (Maddie helps them because almost as soon as Buck told her she did a lot of reading, I think)
also he comes out to his friends over the summer as well and probably loses a ton of them which sucks a lot for him because he didn’t think they’d have that poor of a reaction (especially considering they were supportive of their other friend who came out as gay a few months prior)
anyway, I like the idea of Maddie picking his name! with his permission of course... like I think they’re chilling in Buck’s room, talking about Trans Things(tm), and Maddie’s just “so is Buck going to be your name or........? because I love you but Buck Buckley sounds bad”
Buck’s kind of like >:( though he agrees and is just “uh no :/ I can’t find a name that fits though :/” and so Maddie’s like “oooh can I pick” and he’s like “...I will take suggestions, yes”
it’s not until halfway thru summer that Maddie finally comes up with a name- Evan -and they spend the summer calling him it just to see how he feels about it and he’s “!!!”
the last day of summer, Maddie cuts Buck’s hair and the euphoria!!! whew!!! his parents aren’t Too Happy about that but mostly because they end up having to take him to a professional hairstylist to Fix It and by the time they’re done fixing it, his curls are gone :(
Buck starts sophomore year with a semi-new wardrobe, a new name, a new haircut- a new everything
things are still :/ but he really does find out who is Real Friends are during sophomore yr and a lot of people are pretty supportive of him being trans(tm) and also he makes new friends!!! who love and support him!!!
also I think his extended family are pretty supportive- a little confused but supportive and they definitely slip up (just like his parents do sometimes) but it’s not malicious
his parents coordinate with the rabbi to see if he can have a bar mitzvah (since he had a bat mitzvah for his 12th birthday) and for his 16th birthday he gets a bar mitzvah and also a new (masculine) Hebrew name that his parents help him pick out :0
also Maddie buys him an LGBT siddur because I think that’s neat (there actually is an LGBT siddur- iirc it was created by a reconstructionist or reform synagogue in San Francisco)
also for his 16th birthday, his name is legally changed so he’s officially Evan Buckley on all of his documents and also his gender marker is changed too :)
anyway!! shortly after his 16th birthday, they start working on getting him on testosterone- because his therapist recommended it and it’s something Buck has been wanting for a hot minute
he starts testosterone a few months later which is very fun for him and he’s very :)
Maddie bullies him for having (and refusing to shave) his rat mustache but it’s all in good fun and also it is kind of ugly
(luckily for Maddie, he ends up growing a beard when his testosterone dosage is upped so the rat ‘stache doesn’t hang around)
anyway, he gets top surgery (double incision) the summer after he graduates- insurance covered some of it but the rest is covered by his parents (due to the cost they basically tell him that’s his grad gift which is fine with him tbh)
I think after top surgery Buck is pretty much... not dysphoric?
like, I don’t see him as having bad bottom dysphoria and most of the things he was dysphoric about went away after top surgery and testosterone
(ie his voice got deeper; he got taller on testosterone (though he was tall to begin with imo); his chest got [redacted]; etc)
so, like, yeah- I think he has bottom dysphoria but it’s “mild” (if any dysphoria can be called mild) and it’s not bad enough that he wants, or feels he needs, any of the bottom surgeries available
also he does pack but not consistently imo? I feel it’s mostly cause he forgets to because, again, he just... isn’t bothered by what’s going on down there
I think that is all... also I can’t believe I wrote... almost 1300 words... solely on trans!buck headcanons... we stan... I guess?
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How hard is it to get a test in USA? In my country you just rock up to a testing station any time you want, free of charge, dead easy. Sucks that its apparently harder for you, i totally agree that its ridiculous that celebrities are given an easy pass
oh anon, please let me marry you for citizenship
anyway, so ignoring the inherent bullshit of our for profit system that disincentivizes poor and even middle class people from getting preventative care, covid testing is free with most health insurance plans (I do not know what it is for people without health insurance). There are a few reasons why it is hard to get tested:
1. generally to get tested you have to make an appointment with a place that offers testing (usually a cvs/walgreens kind of pharmacy or somewhere with a drive thru, or sit on a line in your car at a government testing site or an urgent care clinic.
when I got exposed to covid in june, finding an appointment time was really difficult. I had to go to the cvs I used to work at (lol tragic) and I got lucky that I got an appt within the week because my other coworkers waited maybe a day to schedule their appts and things had booked up. fast.
so people had to choose between waiting on line at urgent care clinics/testing sites for potentially hours (when they had to come in to work, or take care of their kids, etc) or just... going about business as usual until they could get an appt. which meant potentially infecting others. some of you might know this, but I was a waxer, so we worked with the public.
and that was in june, when the federal government was still providing extra unemployment money and it was nice outside for many more americans, so naturally in many parts of the country things were less terrible than they are now.
2. getting results takes time too. in good conditions (well staffed, enough resources) labs should be able to run tests in about a day, but that is not the situation here. it took twelve days for my test results to come back. twelve days of missed work, that I ultimately didn't even get paid for (after all, my test came back negative even if I felt shitty). now that was june, so maybe things are better now. lol unlikely, given how many more people are getting tested.
we keep overwhelming the labs, so people keep having to wait longer for their results. and somehow there's this ridiculous idea that some people have that you can go about your business until the results come back.
and with millions of americans getting tested to travel and see family this week, along with the massive increase in positive cases nationwide, I can't imagine the labs aren't overwhelmed. it's not like the federal government has changed any of its behavior to help them out.
right now, in my area, quest labs (which is a big lab) is reporting a wait time of two days, but that orders for molecular testing "have increased by 50% since the last week of september" which... cannot be good.
the washington post reports that delays in results are as long as five days in many different states, which is better than twelve of course but still a problem. around the country, government testing sites pop up and meet capacity before having to turn people away - which is BAD - and still the labs are taking too long to get results to people.
3. so... okay. rapid testing. rapid testing is in theory great, but as harvard university (lol @timelordthirteen don't @ me for my pretentiousness) reports, rapid testing (antigen testing) is good for emergencies but shouldn't be used alone because of high false negative results, like 50% false negatives.
so like, assuming that actors are doing both rapid testing (like on sets between sex scenes or whatever) and also regular molecular testing, they are using up resources that we just don't seem to have right now. I'm not saying that they shouldn't be safe at work, of course they should. but all workers, all people should have access to free molecular testing on a regular basis with timely results.
people with money are testing regularly, and that's why we hear a lot about asymptomatic celebrities with covid because they are testing regularly. the resources are available to them. and as my friend lindsay (@timelordthirteen) was telling me, it isn't even like the testing is super expensive to organize - it's just that the federal government didn't even bother. so networks and the sports leagues and shit, they have a vested interest in getting their talent tested and keeping them safe, it's a no-brainer. the federal government could have organized this shit EASILY, fuck they print their own money lol, but they just didn't give two shits about us.
anon, I wouldn't be so annoyed about this if we had what you have in your country. everyone should have that - globally.
lol word vom.
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3:09 a.m (est) 7-8-20
So JUST now, I was watching a T.V show called “Toys that made us” which actually inspired me to never stop dreaming. Althought the sales of toys have dramaticllly declined,the passion and creativity behind these toys is what makes them LEGENDARY. There are toys that will be forever KNOWN. Imagine creating something that never dies , making history as well. Amazing, truly inspiring. Now with that being said, decided to write down some of my thoughts before going to bed. Before logging in, the wifi randomly had cut off, cutting off the show I had been watching, and decided it was a sign to get on the laptop instead. I get on it, but to my “surprise” NO WIFI. I then ask my bf whos been sitting on the couch playing with his new switch for a few hours, pretty much since I got home from work Ive seen him sitting there and still is, IF he can please check the router. Anything the requires some brain power , is too much for him!!! I over loooked it for so many years, now its starting to bite me in the ass. He then gets up to check the wires, and ask if I had pay. I said no but its not due yet. Also even if it was overdue they dont CUT everything off until way after. ANYWHO, I use my hotspot so that I can check, and its not due until the 15th, SO AGAIN, i ask him to check the wires, because there were clear instructions on the screen about what might be wrong and it wasnt the WIFI it was the router itself. So we had internet , just wasn’t properly transmitted. So after asking him to check the router, he quickly starts complaining about the mess the last cable guy made, complaining how he cant turn it on and, giving me an attitude and a tone because he just can’t, doing the bare min, literally TOUCHED 1 wire and gave up, saying he feels better if someone else disconnects the wire to check, as he goes back on the couch, THEN complains how we HAVE To call them and give them a piece of our mind since we are paying customers. Funny thing is , when we says “we”, he means ME. He would never actually get on the phone and explain to a company his fustrations. It would be me, while hes most likely sitting on the couch playing video games or REALLY mad sitting on the couch not playing video games, because of the wifi. What bothers me most is the lack of responsiblity he takes on. Also like he wants to avoid all grown men responsiblities, its become the biggest turn-off and been thinking of ways to have real conversation with him without him getting butt hurt because he is very sensitive, also he plays victim and I cant let him do that. He is not a victim at all , in anyway, but the second i confront him about something he is trying to avoid, he plays victim. Im so tired of being the one that has to constantly asses every situation were ever in. Hes the man for goodness sake. In reality he’s a beta and I’m in alpha. which makes this kinda hard. Previous relationship , we were both alphas and as much as we did bump heads, we also agreed on a lot and learned things together as the are new to us. Other times, we both take the lead in situations and it was like working with 2 heads rather than 1. Now it feels like just 1 head with 2 people. And like they always say, 2 heads are BETTER than 1. I just feel so lost, because I’m so use to have a Man that can handle business without me, who uses their OWN judgement, I don’t even want to talk down on him, but as time goes on and were not doing anything for ourselves,I start to feel this hole, void, in my heart, something is missing, something is wrong. Why is he such a good person with a great heart but lacks what makes a person resilent. For years he has lied to everyone about having his license. Why ? Im not sure, not that I lived with him for a over a year, I know why, hes scared of real life responsiblities that he would have to handle himself because no one else will. No health insurance, even tho its free now in days, because thats just another responiblity he does not want or care to have, Even for his own health. UNLESS I push him, which I have brought up so many times, but I can not do it for him.Then his license, I have asked him to get it and he said okay, never did, asked him again, said he will do it, does it and forgets the date, then he says he will make a new date, havent heard anything about. I dont know how much more I need to annoy him about ?! Since I’ve met him Im the ONLY driver, driving us everywhere. Any place, its me. Since 2016, its 2020. Not sure whats stopping him, He also brags a lot about the money he makes and he saves it, buys some toys for himself, and takes me out on dinner dates. Which I apprecaite so much of course, but I wish he would do more for himself. Hes just so scared of life I believe, I could be wrong, but thats all he seems to prove since Ive met him! Very sensitive and he likes attention. NEVER noticed that until a FEW people brought that up and I do see that very clearly now. Its hard to have a partner who only values what he says and disregard me. I can let him talk and I go along with it, he on the other hand, cant wait for me to stop talking and he never gives any kinda feedback because he wasnt really listening. Im getting pretty tired of it. Im starting to think I may have made the wrong decision. Whenever something is wrong its like I need to be the leader of the problem and fix it myself, and I think he thinks I like the idea of being the head bitch in charge but in reality its exhausting and just one sided. I have never seen him actually take control of a critical situation without my help. I always end up being the one to finalize everything, as if he HAS to go thru me. Which I do appreciate but it just also feels like he does it to hand me down the rest of the solution. Like NO! Once in a while would be nice if he did things that turn out fine, all alone. NEVER happens. I know of everything and mostly fix it myself.Even THINGS, Hes not hands on so things that would need a quick fix, something my dad would fix easily, john would have a total meltdown and give up fast as fuck. I thought having a person this gentel would be good for my soul but I think its the opposite. Since the day that we rekindle our friendship 2 years ago,I started using hard drugs, LITERALLY the day after we hung out at a show we were both at. I havent been okay since dec 2018 and i though dating him would make me feel better and help fix that void in me, so far, nothing.... I can see I’m stringing this relationship along and Im not sure if I should continue.I have very high hopes with living an amazing life with him, I always saw it in him , that WE would be perfect for each other. I think I based a book by its cover and the first two pages and ran with it. Without reading the whole book, and its not turning out so much as what I thought we would be. He quickly became like a grandpa once we started to date, and then telling me he didnt like when i went out, it was just so shocking considering that we , him, I and all my friends would go all the time, he loved he things I loved to do too, so wtf ?! He almost changed into a person I didnt want to date, the second we started to date. So confusing and almost decieved. Almost he faked how chill he was to get closer to me, It wasnt until a year ish later that I realized , I have been seeing only 1 side of him, the side he wanted me to see, and I loved it, and then the real him I didnt Know and frankly Im not sure if I really like. He loves me so fucking much, but I dont feel fulfilled. Something feels very off, I am missing something and I truly dont know what it is. I hope that we can help each other grow whether alone or together, I just want to know what I wanna do with my life and I need more motivation than what Im getting right now. I feel like im slowing my life down and going no where. I dont like it and I dont want this going on any longer.I NEED to find my way!!!! I hope hes there either as my bf or my friend and we work things out. wish me luck in whatever I choose to do. THNXX
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New Munich Minnesota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 56356
"New Munich Minnesota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 56356
New Munich Minnesota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 56356
BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freeautoinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr
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I was in an accident back in November and my car was totaled. The claim just closed a few days ago because they finally paid our medical bills and everything. Should we have to pay for car insurance right now? We still haven't purchased a vehicle because we didn't get much for our car. How do we handle this?
Help with life insurance?
My husband apply a life insurance for me without my knowing for $150,000 dollars. I came from other country and I was shocked because as if my husband wants to kill me and just married me for life insurance. One day a nurse came to our house and get blood and urine test and asked my husband what's that for, he lied to me he told me that was only needed for his work and for my health insurance. I was just wandering, after few days I received a letter from Veteran's Insurance that my beneficiary when I died is my husband for 150,000 dollars, I called right away the insurance company and disconnect it. My question is, is there anyway that my husband can apply me again for life insurance without my knowing? I don't want him to become the beneficiary. Can I make a last will and testament that when something happen to me my beneficiary are my parents? What will I do to do this step?""
What is the average cost for insurance for a 16 yr old?
i just got my license like 2 weeks ago and im wondering about how much would it cost for insurance also i live in San Leandro CA if needed if car/s needed: honda pilot 2008 honda accord lx 2001 i didn't want to check quotes online cause i'd need my address and i don't really wanna put all that info
Driving w/ no insurance?
i was driving my dad's car to the movies one night and got into a car accident. I don't have insurance on the car because its my dads, but i do have insurance on my car is it possible to get my insurance to cover the accident?""
Insurance claims car was stolen but police report doesn't?
my car was hit about 5 months ago and the police report was filed. i received my copy of the police report and it doesn't state the car was stolen. now my insurance company is claiming, 5 months later, that the car that hit me was stolen. can this happen? how do i know the insurance company isn't making this up so that they wont pay me back for my deductible? thanks!""
What is best landlord insurance policy or company?
what is best landlord insurance policy or company?
What price would insurance be for a Scion?
What would an insurance quote for a Scion xB be? ... for a Scion tC?
Car insurance.......?
hey guys, i was just wondering how much car insurance would be for me. i am 20 years old and just recently starting driving and when i say recently i mean like today haha!. but anyones i DO know that to get a real SET price i would have to call and get a quote but i was hoping to here from some of yall about how much YOU pay each month, how old you are and what kind of car you drive, just to get an ideal of how much its going to be for me ya know? thanks for the help""
How much is insurance for a 16 years old camry 1997 yahoo?
i live in california, and we have 4 drivers in my family and we pay 700, 1 way, how much will i pay im 16 and i will be getting a camry 1997""
Can a dealership sell you a car without car insurance?
I bought a car, thinking I had car insurance, and I want out. I didn't put any money down, yet i signed the paperwork and drove off the lot with the car. I brought back the same day, but of course they didn't take it back. Can they hold me to the loan if i didnt have car insurance and i have no job? I am only 19 and want a way out.""
Do I need to buy auto insurance when I rent a car?
I presently have comprehensive insurance on my own car
""On average, how much will my insurance cost?""
I'm 17 and female. on average how much do you think my insurance would cost on a 1.2L corsa 2003 model, with a black box fitted? Also would it be cheaper if i put the insurance in my dads name (9 years no claims) and me as a named driver? I'm struggling to find quotes as i haven't passed my test yet, just wondering whether it's worth buying this car thanks in advance BQ: do you know of any cars which are fairly cheap for teenagers to insure?""
Auto insurance settlement offer too low?
We were in an accident in September, my 4 y/o son and i went to see a chiropractor and i also seen a physical therapist a few times, (i actually still have pain from time to time in ...show more""
Health insurance cards?
I need the template for a state farm health insurance card or the information, thanks""
New Munich Minnesota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 56356
New Munich Minnesota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 56356
17 year old male car insurance? UK?
What is the cheapest anyone my age (17) has got their car insurance, what car and how did you get it cheap? The best quote I have got is 1200 for a 1.0 litre saxo, and 1700 for 1.0 litre polo's, corsa's and fiesta's""
What's the best life insurance?
This question is for my mom. My mom is 63 years old and needs life insurance. She is in great condition. Never smoked or done drugs. She never drinks alcohol. The only thing really is that she has been told she is borderline diabetic. My mom doesn't have a lot of money so she would like to find an insurance that is very cheap. Her job will be ending in July an will only have her disability to live off of. So what's the best life insurance?
If I get a ford mustang (2000-2006) and get put on my grandmothers insurance would it be cheaper?
I heard it would be cheaper to have me on her insurance because she's older and has a clean record. And I'm pretty sure it varies by state. I live I'm SC
Switching car insurance?
I live in North Carolina, and I got insurance when I lived in south carolina under state farm for 160. When I moved back to be with my family, I was searching for car insurance for North Carolina and found Geico with 60 a month. I didn't notify state farm of the change in insurance, and I am currently insured under Geico. I'm wondering if my license could potentially be suspended or I have something on my record about it, even though I did not have a lapse in coverage, I did not notify the other insurance company. Any info would be greatly appreciated!!""
How can i get car insurance that i can afford?
im 17 and have just learned to drive and in all fairness i am insulted by the car insurance quotes i have received . in order for me to get my moneys worth out of the insurance quotes i have received i would have to rite my car off 13 times ! can anyone help me get my insurance down , or have any advice on a company who will insure me without me having to sell my organs !""
Ive had my car insurance for a year with no claims.?
now i want to switch insurance company as new one is much cheaper. can i get a letter / email from the old one saying that ive had no claims during the year??
Car Insurance for Young Drivers; How much do you pay? (UK)?
I'm planning on getting a car later this year just after I've passed my test (I'm 17). I just want a small, cheap car- something like a Ford Ka or an old Vauxhall Corsa. I just wondered if anyone's got a good cheap deal cos it looks like it's going to cost me loads.""
I need cheaper car insurance.?
Alright, so right now, I have progressive car insurance and I pay about $190 a month. I'm 19, 20 in August. Have had my license for one year. no tickets, no accidents. old cheap car. I just want PLPD insurance that isn't so expensive. I've been told I'm paying too much. I've tried getting quotes from many insurance companies online. The insurace I have now is the cheapest I can find. I have my own policy.I 'm all on my own. Does anyone know where I could get cheaper insurance?""
Use Medisave to Buy a Life Insurance?
Use Medisave to Buy a Life Insurance! Is this a wise choice?
How do the payment work if a bunch of people are being sued by a auto insurance company?
1 insurance company is suing another insurance company, and 6 people. If the 1 insurance company wins how do they split of the amount sued for? If they do at all... I need answers please""
Is Progressive a good insurance company?
My mom seems to think it's not based on what she heard almost 10 years ago. We currently have Allstate which is costing us $265/mo whereas Progressive could cost us $171/mo. IDK why she won't even try it
""Dealt with car accident outside of insurance company, how can I chase up the receipt?""
On Christmas Day I went out in the car to pick up some drinks from the petrol station and on the way out of the station I bumped someones car. I stopped and got out to give them my details (name, address and phone number) and then went home. In the panic of the moment I think I just wanted to get home as it was Christmas Day and I didn't hang around to take photos, ask for witnesses or discuss options with the other driver, which in hindsight I regret and realise was stupid. When I got home, the guy called me up and, again with the stupid mistakes, I said that I would rather settle outside of insurance; the driver wasn't keen on the idea at first and wanted to settle through the insurance company but I couldn't call them until the next week as they were closed for Christmas. He texted me the next day saying that he was going to get a quote from a garage and got back to me later with a quote for 400 through a 'friend of a friend's garage'. At this point I was a bit suspicious and the amount seemed very high for what I thought was not a lot of damage but at the same time he said that he either wanted to do it like that or through the insurance and I really didn't want to loose my no-claims discount as insurance for young male drivers is very high without the no-claims. In the end I decided to pay him, not without a certain bitterness owing to the fact that he was pressuring me for an immediate decision, which also made me suspicious. Having sent the cheque for 400, he kept up communications initially and let me know that he'd received it. He said that he would send me a copy of the receipt from the garage for my records but once he received the cheque I never heard back and now cannot get a reply. Bit long-winded for a question but that's the background story, my question is two-fold: 1. Can I do anything about it? It's more the principle than the money that bothers me, I know that I caused damage to his car but I now suspect it wasn't as much as he claimed. 2. Does 400 sound like too much or should I stop worrying about it? I hit the back corner of his car with the back corner of mine, and he later told me that I had cracked the rear bumper, which needed replacing. I'm not sure of the make of the car but I think it may have been a Ford Fiesta or something similar. I would really appreciate any help as it's weighing on my mind... I don't like people walking over me. At least if the amount he claimed sounds reasonable I can put it down to him being a wanker but the amount claimed being fair and forget about the whole thing.""
Where can i get cheap car insurance? (i'm 19)?
Im 19 and own a Vauxhall Corsa 1.2 and im looking for cheap car insurance. ive tried a few websites and its coming out over 5k for the year, something a LOT less will ok, if anyone can tell me a few good companies or quotes that i can use? thanks""
How much would extra would i pay for another car on my policy?
I currently own 2 cars and am looking to buy another one. It is a 99 crown vic police int P71. I dont want collision or anything extra, i want the lowest insurance policy that i can get. Im taking that, that would be a liability only policy, am i correct? If not what kind of policy do i ask for? Also, how much more a month would this cost? No one will steal it because its a former cop car, but you couldnt tell and i doubt i will reck it.""
Do you have to pay insurance for the driver or the car?
my friends keeps telling me her parents wont let her get he license because it is 2,000 dollars a year to have a licence, for like insurance. Don't you only have to pay for a car? like if she was to not own a car and just borrow her parents when needed would she still have to pay insurance? I am so confused haha""
Got a speeding ticket in friends newly bought car and he didnt have proof of insurance?
so my friend recently bought a car from someone and i drove it and got a speeding ticket in it. do i have to show HIS insurance for the car or that I am insured? and if i do have to show his, then how do i get proof the insurance on the car was being transfered over to his? he already had insurance on his other cars that are his parents.""
Where to get online insurance quotes for health?
Where to get online insurance quotes for health? I should compare plans from major insurance company.
Can car insurance companies check if you drive another car ?
if you get a car insurance quote and you say you have access to another car in your information is there any way they can check ? I have just renewed my car insurance and noticed that it was cheaper when i said i had regular use of another car. The thing is i do have use of my brothers car but im not an actual name driver on the insurance. My brothers car is fully comprehensive and thinks that anyone can drive the vehicle. Is this true ? i dont get how my insurance company are going to catch me out if im driving my brothers car without any mention of my name on his insurance
Health insurance for seniors?
My parents are seniors now and my father doesnt work anymore but he owns a restaurant so he cant apply for Medicare.. Does anyone know how and where I can find a affordable insurance that I can have for them. They need to apply for health insurance asap because both of them have diabetes Please help me!
Insurance on a supersport motorcycles is that much higher?
So I'm planning on getting a 600cc supersport soon, and I was looking at insurance rates. The choice package at progressive was $350 for my current 2006 ninja 250. (19m, car driver 3 years, 9 months on bike) and when I try to get a quote for a 600cc bike the price jumps up to $1200 for a bike of the same year (r6), and $1400 for a gixxer. At the same time, it's $450 for a ninja 650r. Are these prices suppose to be right? What's going on?""
Will my insurance go up if i get a traffic ticket for failing to stop at a stop sign?
what if i just pay the bill will my insurance go up? the thing is just this dec 6 2011 they added two new stop signs in a 4 way intersection before, if you were going north or south you didnt have to stop, and only the people going west and east had to stop its been several months since i passed by there and i just zoomed thru the stop sign and obviously violated the law. i bet im not the only one thats been stopped there im in california btw""
NY DMV - Are you supposed to buy car insurance first or register the car?
The DMV's web site says that I need proof of insurance to register my new (used) car. At the same time Progressive wont sell me insurance because the car does not seem to be owned by me. Any help guys?
Car Insurance help No claims bonus?
Ok so i passed my test last month and have been driving about 3 weeks. i got an insurance quote with Aviva for 1800 per year (roughly) and im an 18 year old male, however because i had a provisional license for a year my dad thought i had 1 year NCB so told aviva this. They now want proof of my NCB (which i obviously don't have) so i will have to tell them. But my quotes are about 4500 without any no claims bonus !!!! and i drive a Y reg 1.2 fiesta ghia! is there anyway i can get this premium down? please help! i'd be really grateful!""
When you do not have car insurance in California then ONLY IF YOU GET CAUGHT?
by someone it's a problem right, or is it a problem as soon as your car insurance stops for example, only if someone who does not have car insurance gets into an accident then everyone is wondering about it right, or if you had car insurance and could not afford the bills anymore do they tell DMV and then you're in trouble immediately""
I need cheap car insurance in New York City?
I need cheap (FULL) coverage for a financed vehicle in the NEw York Area...I've tried the popular sites...any leads?
New Munich Minnesota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 56356
New Munich Minnesota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 56356
Car Insurance in England question?
If I am insured but I drive another car (included on policy) but that car is not insured by owner will ANPR pick up car has no insurance and do I commit offense? And if I am not insured but drive a car that is insured by owner does it come up on ANPR as being insured and therefore I wont get caught? Is the driver insured or the car???
Buying car insurance?
I've got my driving test in September and thinking about buying a car if I pass. I'm just a bit confused about how to buy a car and car insurance. Do I need to look around for a car I like, get all the details of the car, buy insurance for that car, then actually buy the car, in that order? Also are new cars or older cars cheaper to insure? I think it's newer cars but I'm not sure. Also what is a good car for cheaper insurance. I've heard Ford and Vauxhall are good for cheap insurance. I've been on price comparison sites and it seems that even if I have pass plus and just third party cover 2k per year is a minimum :( Thanks.""
Medical/health Insurance for H1b and H4 visa holder?
What is the best medical/health insurance ?Is dental,vision and pre natal included? What are HMO/PPO plan?What do i need to know about it? need some input. pls suggest. thanks =)""
How much does THIRD PARTY CAR INSURANCE cost in New Zealeand?
How much does THIRD PARTY CAR INSURANCE cost in New Zealeand?
""I'm looking for an honest, good life insurance company. Anyone with experiences on this?""
Single mother with mortgage, a older teen and young adult, good health so far? I am looking to cover anything that would have to be paid in the event of my death.""
Do i need to add my wife under my car insurance?
Allstate is my car insurance
Maternity Insurance?
Does any one know of a good insurance for maternity. I have been trying to concieve for a year and 8 months with no luck. It is time to visit a doctor. But I think it is better for me to get insurance since fertility treatments are expensive. Which insurance would you go with?
US car insurance rates?
I'm in the market for a midsized or compact car. I'm looking into purchasing a Honda, Toyota, or Mazda brand vehical. I'd like to know which of these cars has a lower insurance rate. (If it helps, I live in the midwest and have a good driving record.)""
Need advice: Parked car hit - Car has no insurance?
Ok, so last night my friends car was hit by a driver who fell asleep. the car was in front of our house and pushed 40ft and his flipped over. Both cars totaled. He has insurance, but my friends that was parked and hit, does not. Will this be an issue for her, or will his insurance be paying for everything since he was 100% at fault? Please help!""
How to get into a new Car Insurance?
About 1.5 yrs back my wife scratched another car while parking. The claim was settled using insurance. The expense was about $1500. Ever since that the insurance company, AAA, has been increasing our premiums by abt $35 on every renewal. Now I cannot switch or shop with other insurance company since they give quotes much higher than this company. But apart from this one incident we do not have anything else on our record. Also I get discount for Home+Auto insurance. The company increased prices on our Home Insurance too. I am badly stuck with this company now. I would like to buy Auto+home from one company itself. But I really cannot move my Auto Insurance. Please give suggestions.""
Car Insurance?
In Massachusetts what do you think a 16 year old driver would pay for these cars for insurance? 1998 Mitsubishi 3000GT VR 4 >100k miles 1998 Audi A4 1.8 Turbo 4 cyl 100K miles 2001 Ford Taurus SEL v6 40K miles 1999 VW Passat V6 5 speed 95k miles Thanks
Does a written warning affect your driver's insurance in Massachusetts?
I just got a written warning tonight in MA. I have a couple of questions, does it affect my insurance (I heard that it does not increase my insurance, but my insurance company is notified and my rates for next year will not decrease, is that true?). Also, how long does it stay on record? Much Thanks!""
Are there any auto insurance companies who dont penalize or raise rates based on a lapse in coverage?
I have gone uninsured for over a few months in Iowa due to being dead broke & am looking into getting coverage again....are there any companies that offer lower penalties than most or no penalties at all? Can an insurance company even check for themselves if you have had previous coverage or do they just rely on your word? If so....tempting lol. Also are there any other options im not thinking of? Any suggestions welcome...Thanks in advance! :)
How can I get Cheaper Auto Insurance?
I'm looking to buy a 03-06 Mitsubishi Evolution was wondering if it is possible to get cheaper insurance? My Father owns a Business can we classify it as a business Vehicle? I'll be 18 when i buy it. I can afford the payments, Just not insuracne, lol""
Car accident and insurance procedures?
I got into a car accident yesterday. I wasn't at fault for the accident, and I know my car is totaled. I was wondering how the whole thing will go down with the insurance and what the process is going to be. I filed a claim with my insurance co. and am waiting for them to call me up. I was wondering if the other person's insurance has to pay for my car and what not. I am also wondering if there will be any consolation since the other driver was dui.""
Insurance and pregnancy...
I am planning to get pregnant in March, 2009. After working things out with my husband, it seems like the best time for us Anyway, my insurance policy will finish in August and I'll have to get new insurance (I won't be able to continue with my current insurance policy for reasons beyond the scope of this question). Will this cause me problems with the new insurance company (I still don't know what insurance I am going to purchase)? Will the NOT cover my pregnancy and delivery and consider it a pre-existing condition? What's your advice? We really don't want to postpone pregnancy any more and now is not the best time for us""
Alternative ways to insure a car?
Im 17 and looking for car insurance someone told me that you can insure it by giving some company a certain amount of money around 15k and then at the end of the year they would give u it back, however if you were to claim, the cost would come out of the money you gave, is this true and anyone know what its called if it is? ty""
Car insurance in new york?
hey guys, I'd like to know what would be the ballpark for insurance. I'm 24 years old and have had my driver's license since 2003 and never have had parking violations, points taken off my license or any type of moving tickets. I'm looking to buy a 96-00 civic and would like to know around how much I would be quoted""
Whats the cheapest car insurance for a 16 y/o boy?
I'm getting my liscense soon and we have allstate and its expensive as hell! I live in texas and i dont plan on buying a sports car so how much would my insurance be you think and where should i go for cheap insurance?
What is the best car in group 16 insurance?
I have been offered a company car at work and can go up to group 16 insurance. I do a lot of miles but would like a sporty responsive feel. Thinking about a Cooper S or dare I say it one of the pokey diesels..! Any suggestions.....?
How much is the normal rate for the instant car insurance quote for drivers between 18 and 25 ?
Hello i am interested to know how much the average car insurance cost would be for young drivers between 18 and 25 years. can anyone help me please?
Looking for health Insurance options in the State of Washington.?
I'm self employed and researching health insurance options. I live and work in the state of Washington. Any good, affordable options?""
Health insurance from a broker?
HI, I need to take out a health insurance policy for myself because my work doesn't offer any. I called a local insurance broker who offers that service in addition to others like life, business, etc. My question is, is there any negative reason to buy from him verses going online and buying a policy by myself? I think I'd get more info from a broker right? Thanks""
Best car for a broke teen driver?
I'm 14, so I wont be getting the car for another year or so. I'd be paying for it myself, so I'd like it cheap, with good mileage and cheap insurance. I'd also like it ...show more""
What are some affordable/cheap community colleges in the USA for international students?
Hi, i want to study associate in business management so in which state i can find community colleges with low fees or which are the affordable and cheapest community college in USA for study? Thanks""
New Munich Minnesota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 56356
New Munich Minnesota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 56356
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/https-wwwbmchporg-need-affordable-health-insurance-gregory-gordon/"
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Happy Easter! Pharmacy Follies
-Sometimes, I wonder about how they come up with the names of some of the shit we have stashed in the pharmacy and realized how lewd they can sound...
Last night, my man put his Harvoni in my Taytulla and we proceeded to Fenofibrate the night away and all was well until he decided to Kayexalate in my eye.
-Aye, because I've been sick and not in the mood for anyone's shit, my mind has mentally blocked out the stupidity to prevent me from snapping and killing the idiots. However, to humor all ya'll, FB was kind enough to remind me of these gems from 9 years ago. Enjoy!!!
1. Huh?
So I'm standing at the out-window, minding my own business, when some fruitcake comes up to me, shows me a bottle of Diabetic Tussin and asks...
Fruitcake: "Where can I find this but something different?"
Me: "Huh?"
Fruitcake: "I want to get this but something different."
Me: "So let me get this straight, you want to know where the Diabetic Tussin is but you want to get something different?"
Fruitcake: "Yes."
Me: "Against the wall past the pharmacy window."
I wasn't going to bother any further with that idiotic nonsense.
2. Get away from me
Dipshit comes to the counter and asks....
Dipshit: "Where can I find diaper rash cream?"
Me: "Aisle 3."
Dipshit: "Where's aisle 3?"
Me: "It's located between aisle 1 and 2."
Fuckin really.
3. Shoot me
Moron comes through the drive-thru to drop off prescriptions. Her children never had prescriptions filled so I make the mistake of asking....
Me: "Do you have insurance?"
Moron: "Yes, Public Aid."
And that's when the Mexican stare down begins. This would be a normal persons cue to take the card out and hand it to me but we're dealing with complete idiots here. I couldn't take the suspense any longer so I ask....
Me: "Do you want me to bill Public Aid or do you want to pay out of pocket?"
Moron: "Bill Public Aid."
Me: "Ok, do you have the card?"
Moron: "Yes."
And the Mexican stare down begins again. Again, this would be a normal persons cue to whip out the card but again, we're dealing with complete shitwits here. The suspense was killing me so I asked....
Me: "Ok, in order to bill Public Aid, I need to see the card."
That's when the lightbulb went off in her head and she said...
Moron: "You need the card?"
Me: "That's what I said."
Moron: "I'm not sure if I have it."
Me: "I cannot bill Public Aid unless you have the current card."
Moron: "Oh, I understand. I didn't know I was supposed to have it."
Me: "Yes, one of the requirements of Medicaid is that you show a current card whenever you seek medical assistance. Not only that, I can't bill Medicaid if I don't have the information in the system."
Moron: "So I need to show you the card in order for them to pay for the medicine?"
I'll bet you all an ovary and Ray's left nut that she graduated at the top of her class.
4. Compruébese antes de usted la ruina usted mismo!(Check yourself before you wreck yourself, for the Spanish challenged)
There's one thing I loathe and that's the E-RX system. The E-RX system allows doctors to send prescriptions over the computer. The main reason I loathe it is because doctors have a tendency of telling their patients...
Moronic Doctor: "I just sent your prescription to the pharmacy. It will be ready by the time you get there."
Uh, NO!! It does not work that way. Your doctor has no more control over my wait times than I do his appointment book. If I can't send one of my patients over to the doctors office to be pushed ahead of everyone else and to be seen right away then what makes them think that the prescriptions they send over have precedence over the prescriptions that were ahead of theirs? So we just open the pharmacy and I notice that there's 2 E-RX's waiting to be entered in. What a great way to begin my day. I enter them in and 15 minutes later, some dude comes to the counter and asks...
Idiot: "Speak Polish?"
Me: "No."
He shows me his ID and he's the dude from the E-RX's. I try to explain to him....
Me: "We have your prescriptions but they aren't ready. It will be one hour."
Idiot: "No, no. My doctor said ready."
Me: "No, they're not. We just got them. It will be one hour."
Idiot: "One hour?"
Me: "Yes."
Idiot: "Not good!"
Me: "I didn't say it was but it's one hour."
It's quite apparent that he really didn't understand me. Fuck 'em. You know, I can accept that some folks don't understand nor speak English. English is a hard language to learn. However, if you cannot understand nor speak English then it would be wise to bring someone who CAN understand and speak English. This is especially important when dealing with medicine because if I ask you if you're allergic to the medication your doctor prescribed and you say "no" because that's the only English word you know, don't get mad at us when you into anaphylactic shock. And don't come back with some idiot English speaking kinfolk who acts all incensed because none of us speak your language and couldn't help you out. These fuckers have no right to be mad when they couldn't be bothered to get off their ass to help you in the first place.
5. Sucks to be you
Fucktard calls up and says...
Fucktard: "I need a refill on my birth control."
She gives me the refill number and I tell her....
Me: "Your prescription is expired. We'll have to contact your doctor."
And here's where the fun begins...
Fucktard: "What do you mean it's expired? I have 2 refills!"
Me: "This prescription, and the refills, are only good for one year from the original date."
Fucktard: "The last time I got it filled, they told me I have 2 refills."
Me: "You did have 2 refills but they're expired."
Fucktard: "I don't think you understand. It's the weekend and my doctors office is closed. If I do not take my pills, my menstrual cycle will be all messed up."
Me: "Ok? That doesn't change the fact that your prescription is expired and that we have to contact the doctor for more refills."
Fucktard: "Then why did they tell me I have 2 refills? They should've never told me that! Why did they lie to me?!"
Me: "You weren't lied to. You asked if you had refills and you were correctly told that you have 2 refills. Those refills expired on 3/15. You could've gotten those 2 refills prior to that date. Because it's past 3/15, your prescription is expired."
Fucktard: "Why didn't anyone tell me that?!"
Me: "We do tell you that via your prescription label. All prescription labels tell you the expiration date of your refills."
You know, I've never understood the attitude of "everyone is responsible for my health EXCEPT for me". If you aren't going to take care of your health properly and put that responsibility into someone elses hands then you have NO right to bitch when things aren't done to your satisfaction. Grow the fuck up!
6. Sweet Jesus
So M my Little Hottie Beefcake is having trouble getting an insurance to go through. I take over and at one point, I need to find out who the primary card holder is....
Me: "Who's the card holder?"
Shitwit: "Tom."
Me: "Ok, what's his birthday?"
Shitwit: "I don't know."
Me: "How is Tom related to Jim?"
Shitwit: "That's his father."
Me: "You don't know your sons fathers birthday?"
Shitwit: "No."
Me: "I cannot bill the insurance unless I have that information."
Shitwit: "Ugh! Hold on!"
And she whips out her cell phone, dials a number and annoyingly asks her baby daddy for his birthday. I guess in this day and age, it's totally insane to know the birthday of the man who penised you enough to shoot his seed inside of you that resulted in a child springing forth from your loins. Then again, I'm the kind of person who likes to find out that information prior to being face down ass up. I guess I'm old fashioned like that.
7. Quit playin
Assmunch comes to the counter and informs us that he wants to transfer prescriptions from Walmart to us. He's asked if he's got the prescription bottles and he doesn't. He says...
Assmunch: "I want everything filled. It should be in the computer."
M: "You had them filled here?"
Assmunch: "No, Walmart."
M: "We're not Walmart."
Assmunch: "I know but I want to fill them here."
M: "Ok, I need the name of the medications and Walmarts phone number."
Assmunch: "Can't you just look in the computer for that?"
M: "Uh, no."
Assmunch: "Why not? I get them there all the time."
M: "Because we're not Walmart."
Assmunch: "But it should be in the computer."
M: "We're not connected to Walmarts computer so I can't look in their system to find out what you get."
Assmunch: "But I want to get them filled here."
M: "Ok, if you give me the name of the medications and Walmarts phone number, we can call and transfer them."
Assmunch: "I don't know the names. That's why I told you to look in the computer. It's all in there."
At that point, I was waiting for M to climb onto the counter, drop kick Assmunch in the neck and put him into a choke hold until he either tapped out or died from suffocation. I, personally, would prefer the latter.
8. God help us
The phone rings and I answer it....
Me: "Pharmacy, can I help you?"
Idiot: "I just took a pregnancy test. What does negative mean?"
Me: "Negative means you're not pregnant."
Idiot: "Oh, ok. Thanks!"
Me: "No, thank you!"
And I thanked her because the last thing the world needs is more stupid people.
9. Lord have mercy
Fuckface comes to the counter to pick up a prescription. Her insurance rejected it because it says it's too soon to be filled because it's been sent out via mail order. Here's where the fun begins. She flips out and says...
Fuckface: "That's wrong! I don't get mail order!"
R the Pharmacist: "I can only go by what the insurance says. They said that this was sent out a few days ago."
Fuckface: "Well I haven't received it yet and he really needs this medication!"
Me: "I thought she doesn't get mail order?"
Fuckface: "I spoke to the insurance and they said it would be taken care of and that it would be ready."
R: "That's not true. I'm trying to submit a claim to them and they're not paying for it."
Fuckface: "Yes, they are."
R: "Uh, no they're not. The only thing I can do is call the insurance to find out what's going on."
Fuckface: "There's no need to call the insurance! I already spoke to them and they said it's ready!"
R: "They're wrong."
Fuckface: "Do your job, Guy, or I'll come back there and do it for you."
Me: "Considering how busy we are, can we take her up on her offer? We could use the help especially from this intelligent being. She may be able to teach us peons a thing or two."
And you can bet your sweet asses that I was laughing my ass off at this. She reminded me of the old Walter Lantz cartoon of the man being told he needs to watch his nerves or he'll explode
10. I hate people
Jagnut is standing at the counter with a prescription in hand. I make the mistake of asking...
Me: "What's your phone number?"
Jagnut: "I don't know. It's in the computer."
I didn't know what knowing your phone number required high intellect.
11. Along the same lines
Halfwit comes to the counter and asks....
Halfwit: "Can I take this medication with everything I'm on?"
Me: "What medication are you on?"
Halfwit: "I don't know. It's in the system."
Great answer. After all, when you're in a horrific car accident, they're rolling your stupid ass into the ER and they ask you...
ER surgeon: "We need to know what medication you're on so there won't be any interactions."
It's not going to help them when you say....
Halfwit: "I don't know. It's in the system."
And you all wonder why I hate people.
12. Stop that!
So I'm standing in the drive-thru, entering in prescriptions or taking care of problems when it never fails. Some asshole will roll up and will ring the God damn bell while I'm standing there. That annoys the ass off of me because these idiots actually think I'm going to stop what I'm doing just to help them. It got so bad that it pissed T off and she gets on the speaker and says...
T: "She's standing right there! She'll be right with you! You can stop ringing the bell now!"
And they try to feign innocence by claiming they didn't see me there. I guess that can happen when you have your head wedged firmly up your ass.
Now onto the lighter side of things. We have a new pharmacist, H. We just love her to pieces. Considering that she's got a foul mouth like the rest of us, she fit right in. So we're standing around when a script came in for Suprax. For some unknown reason, I thought it was on a manufacturer back order. T pulls it off the shelf and says...
T: "We got some right here!"
Me: "Well spank my ass and call me Charles!"
And that's when H comes over, slaps me on the ass and calls me Charlie. Needless to say, I damn near died laughing. I also thanked God that I didn't exclaim "Fuck me up the ass with concrete dildo!" like I normally do.
For some ungodly reason, the higher ups like to think part of our job entails hawking shit like we're used car salesmen and one of those things are flavors. I, personally, think that flavoring medication makes it taste worst, I don't bring it up unless a customer request it and the only time I do suggest it is for a medication called Cleocin granules. The reason for that is and to quote H...
H: "Cleocin smells like farts and taste like shit!"
See? Didn't I tell you she fits right in with the rest of us vile savages?!
-Speaking of H, here's another blast from the past from 4 years ago. I've died AGAIN!! ROFLMAO!!!!!!!
-This video has been making the rounds and needless to say, it's maniacally hilarious. I show it to J. She dies laughing. However, nothing could prepare us for H the Pharmacist's reaction. I show it to her and the look on her face was priceless. That pales in comparison to the question she asked, which J and I were totally not prepared for: "Is that a Black one? It's kind of big!"
All I'm going to say is that there really is a God because He saved J and I from dying from laughter. In fact, I'm laughing so hard that I'm crying as I type this. This shall forever live in infamy! Enjoy! And if you haven't seen this video, just remember H's question while viewing it and it will make it even more funnier!!
youtube
-Who the fuck pulled this heinous crime?!!!!!!
-I see a car about to pull up in the drive-thru so I head over to answer it. Just as Asshole rings then bell, she feels that's the perfect time to get on her phone and light up a cigarette....
Me: "Can I help you?"
Asshole is running her cock holster on her phone.
Me: "Can I help you?"
Asshole take a drag from her smoke.
Me: "Why are you in my drive-thru?"
Asshole seemed really upset that I rudely interrupted her phone call: "I'm here to pick up a prescription."
Me: "What's the name?"
Asshole: "Shit Wit."
Me: "Do you have insurance?"
And that's when her passenger answers: "I have Public Aid."
Me: "Do you have the card?"
Asshole: "It should be in the system."
Me: "It's not. I'll need to see the card."
Shit Wit: "I don't have a card. All I have is this."
And she hands me a piece of paper with an ID number on there.
Me: "This number isn't going through. Medicaid says you're enrolled under a managed care program. I tried looking up coverage but nothing comes up. You're going to have to call your insurance and get the billing information."
Asshole: "Public Aid says that's all you need to bill them."
Me: "You were misinformed. So you'll need to call them and get the billing information."
Asshole: "Can't you call them?"
Me: "No."
Asshole: "Why not?"
Me: "Because it's not my responsibility to get your insurance information. It's almost April. If you know you have new insurance but they haven't sent you a card, you should've taken care of that in January. You shouldn't be going 4 months into the year without a new card or at least without getting the correct billing information."
Asshole: "So are you saying she can't get her medication?"
Me: "I'll be more than happy to sell you the medication at $115."
Asshole: "But she has insurance! I don't see why you won't call to get the information!"
Me: "I don't see why you don't call being that you have a phone in your hand."
Asshole: "Just transfer it to a different pharmacy."
Me: "If you want it transferred, go to the pharmacy of your choice and have them call us. You have a good day."
And that's when I had to walk away. Seriously, ya'll. It's almost fucking April. If you know you have new insurance and have not received a new card, what in the fuck are you waiting for?!! This just defies logic.
-So once again our hours got cut, for whatever fucking reason. The crazy part was I went to the fast food joint across the way and had a motherfucking epiphany. While I was waiting for them to hook me up with lips and assholes, I noticed they had at least 6 people working in that joint. 4 people cooking the food and 2 people taking orders. Mind you, this wasn't during a rush hour. It was around 3pm. It dawned on me that this food joint had more people working in it than there were in my pharmacy. At that time, it was 3 techs and 2 pharmacists and the only reason there were 3 techs and 2 pharmacists was because it was the overlap. Normally, it's just 2-3 techs and 1 pharmacist.
We're a busy pharmacy. So why in the fuck am I killing myself, running around like a nut, getting upset when I can't finish my job or do my job correctly when the company I work for refuses to properly staff the pharmacy? There is something SERIOUSLY WRONG when a fast food joint has more people working to make sure people get their lips and assholes in a timely manner than a pharmacy where we literally have peoples lives in our hands where a mistake can harm or even kill someone. I don't get it. Perhaps I should get into stripping. I may not be able to drop it's hot but I can lay it down like it's lukewarm. At this point, grinding on cock seems way better than running around like a nut, getting stress headaches and being told we're not working hard enough.
-Easter Musing:
When a patient gets mad at you because you can't tell them what their copay will be just by looking at their prescription but has to whip out their cell phone and look in their contacts because they don't know their own fucking phone number.
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no rebloggy obvi but this has been a weird week. stumbled into a way better job in an industry im even sort of interested in and put notice in at work and they … they FOUGHT for me. they were ready to give me a 25% raise. they wanted me to stay. im not going to stay. i really love my coworkers despite the fact that our job is objectively terrible and we all suffer constantly - but we are an EXCELLENT team. like number one three letter pharmacy in the nation for several months in a row last year excellent team. but despite that - things are changing on a managerial level in ways I don’t agree with, they’re cutting hours indiscriminately for no reason other than the multi billion dollar corps bottom line, and most importantly, this job makes me disconnect from my own emotions, and like, morals. have you ever had to look somebody in the face and say the cheapest you could make their insulin - their fucking INSULIN - was $956 for a 2 week supply? have you ever held up your drive thru line for 20 minutes (knowing full well that the people who will come next in line will scream at you for it, like you aren’t trying to help somebody manage a life or death situation) trying every single discount and override at your disposal to make the price go down but it won’t fucking budge? and tell them that no, you don’t know what they should do 2 weeks from now when this supply to insulin runs out, and no, you don’t know how to make their insurance company take them back because their husband fucked up something and their coverage lapsed and won’t reactivate for 4 months. and then just had to move on. had to get yelled at by the next dozen customers for the wait and then go home and do it all again the next day in a new and newly horrifying way. it’s soul crushing. it makes me feel complicit, trapped, fucking EVIL - so of course I’m leaving. And the people in charge of me don’t understand how i can’t set these feelings aside, why these situations continue to bother me, why I think it’s IMPORTANT that they bother me so much - of course I’m leaving. Of course I’m leaving. I won’t regret leaving, but the going will hurt. apparently when you stick a person in a room with a dozen of his peers after she’s been inside for 16 months with only her family and deranged my chemical romance fans on the internet, they’re going to form a bit of an attachment to these people. so I’m leaving. And it makes me sad. But it also feels … correct? im not nervous about it. im nervous about everything all the time, but not this. this is a step on a path that is right, or could be right if I worked on it, and I want to work on it. I never was going to stay - but it’s been so long since I’ve had anything, let alone anything I could afford to leave behind, that I forgot this part. I forgot.
ok logging off. big day for julias. many thoughts and feelings. time for sleep.
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ok actually ill talk about it
so.... as you may or may not know. i have an enormous fear of doctors and haven’t been to one since 2010. a lot of 2015-16 i knew i was going to lose my insurance and should go before i did but instead i did not, mostly bc i was afraid that if i went they would find something not immediately fixable, and therefore i would need help after i didn’t have insurance. also because fear.
anyway i finally have health insurance thru my school (& apparently have actually had medicaid for a while) & im..... trying to be good, and go see a doctor. i mean thankfully i have actual help, whereas most of my life i lived with my parents who are both wary of doctors (tho not to my extent) and also think that anything that i need to do should be done on my own... so... if i have a major fear that prevents me from doing sensible things... those things don’t get done (why are you a sophomore at 27, niko? well...)
but you know. you have friends who fill in where family didn’t, i guess. so today i wrote a list of my symptoms and whatnot & like.... this is hard because (as you may or may not know!!!) i am a Huge Liar. i like, constantly, about everything, to everyone. have we spoken? i’ve probably lied to you. i’m the most gemini bitch around. mostly i lie to make things funnier & easier for myself, though, so i think that’s alright. also i don’t care if it’s not. but anyway. because confronting my fear is difficult, when i go to write about what is bothering me, i decide that there isn’t actually anything and i don’t need to see a doctor. so. the cycle continues etc.
i don’t know. like. i’m afraid that i will look at the list and think, these are all fake and i don’t need to talk about them. what i need to do is get out of here as fast as possible. i gave it to matt because im afraid if i hang on to it i will get rid of it or conveniently forget it (he is driving me, also, because i won’t go if it’s up to only me).
anyway. i’m fairly certain that they won’t do anything and i’ll be trapped in this malfunctioning flesh suit for the rest of my life with no explanation. i’m glad matt was there to help me because he has a lot of experience with doctors and doctors being evil. but i don’t have a lot of hope, beyond like, doing something i don’t want to do & being proud of myself for facing my fears.
once someone told me that if i was so afraid of doctors i should really commit to never going again, and just, never go, ever, for anything. and let me tell you it sounds like an alright plan.
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So...
Got nerve root injections today, which sounds scary but was mostly uncomfortable. This one is gonna get long and personal under the cut. There’s a pic of Bailey’s famous thousand-yard stare at the end if you do read the entire thing/scroll down to the bottom.
My leg started spasming on the table, had to explain to the very worried Doctor it just does sometimes that after I lay prone too long. Sweet that he cared, I've seen a ton of physicians over the years and some don’t even pretend to give a shit.
It's always interesting dealing with doctors that don't specialize in CP, cause they want to be polite but at the same time are very curious at how I manage. Got a guy fresh out of med school once who was astounded at my reflex test reactions (apparently your legs aren't supposed to fly up as if disconnected from your body and your toes aren't supposed to hyperextend backward? IDK).
Won't know if this worked for another week or so while the medicine takes and everything settles down. If it doesn't, the next step is a "shotgun" approach where they try to hit a wider swath of nerves in my spine. Hoping it works cause I've already beat the extremely small odds for a spinal headache once, really don't want to roll those dice again.
Side note: should maybe buy a lottery ticket since there's a 6% chance of that happening.
More needles are in my future regardless given the muscles of my left leg have atrophied since I had to leave work on disability. It's been... 23 years since I last had Botox injections? I think it was still experimental back then.
(btw if you've ever had it done cosmetically: you're fucking welcome they realized part way thru the study paralyzing face muscles gets rid of wrinkles, too)
My insurance will barely cover any of this, but I'm left choosing to be in agonizing debt or being in agonizing pain all the time. America! No matter what happens with that damn healthcare bill, my premiums are sure to increase 20% next year, which means I absolutely won't be able to afford any plan that covers what my broken ass needs. Affordable is only affordable if you're healthy, you see. I never was.
I try to set aside a little money here and there for fun stuff so I don't fall into despair completely by having to spend every I get from work disability (SSD is still fighting my claim because of course they are) on bills. Society has programmed me to feel guilty about every minor luxury I allow myself and it's bullshit. I worked 15 years and it accelerated deterioration that apparently was inevitable, something no one bothered to tell me until I came in to ask why I was suddenly in pain all the time.
Instead of these secondary conditions hitting at 50, it happened at 25. That’s about nine years I've dealt with this shit. exhausting options one by one. The real kick in the ass is if I didn’t have cerebral palsy, it’s very likely no one would believe me about the pain, and I’m very sorry other chronic pain sufferers deal with that from the medical sector. It’s all bullshit.
I have honestly forgotten what it feels like to be pain-free. If it's not my back, it's my neck. On a good day, it's a 4 according to the standard pain chart. According to the helpful illustrations, that’s this face: :|
And people ask me why I never smile.
I've abandoned my computer desk in favor of an elaborate laptop setup on my bed, as having my legs up aggravates everything significantly less. They go completely numb if I sit in a chair for over an hour, which makes going to the movies a real adventure. I’m thinking of switching to a smaller mattress just so I can get a more affordable adjustable bed frame. Just saying that makes me feel old and decrepit, but then I also bought a medical hover table for the bed this week so... welp.
I'm very tired. I'm still sore and wondering if this is going to work. I'm also dead broke. Borrowing money from my mom to stay out of the red broke.
I keep trying to set aside money to pay freelancers for game projects because I absolutely WILL NOT do that "the payoff comes when it's done" bullshit that certain other people tried to do with me years ago, but I keep having to dig into my savings to cover medical costs, and shit keeps getting delayed. I don't expect to make a lot of money off any game I make, but I damn it I will pay anyone I contract what they’re owed for their time. I’ve been burned in the past myself as a writer, I know how it feels.
So I keep limping along like I always have. Not sure how much longer before I end up in a chair for good, but I already got more time on my feet than anyone expected... and my spine is the worse for it, really. Modern medicine is a double-edged sword sometimes.
My Patreon doesn't offer much in the way of rewards (unless you like the odd cat pic or mutterings about current projects), but here's the link: http://patreon.com/bec
If you’d rather make a direct donation via PayPal, please ask or message me. I have a feeling the $1,750 they shook me down for yesterday is only the beginning because the lady on the phone refused to state definitively that it would be all. I now anxiously see what bullshit awaits me in the mail.
I should really take a new banner/profile pic since I've changed a lot since setting the thing up, but Bailey just looks so damn regal in that one. And these days I look pretty damn sickly. My cats are fine, though. Unlike me, they’re fat and happy. I love those little bastards. Here’s a pic of Bailey as a manifestation of my prolonged internal screaming.
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you said you’d call?
why do you lie to me? i hate being taken for grated and I feel like a giant fucking present under your tree that you don’t want to open because you’re too focused on a gift card fuck you for these feelings you think I don’t notice or know but I do. all too well. and I listen even better. You don’t talk enough and I don’t want to get started on what your actions say. About two years ago a boy stole my voice. or maybe I gave it to him laughing too hard once. lost my breath. either way ever since then I live this funny way where I can only ever hear myself when I’m singing. I know you love my voice you called me melody but I’m not sure you’re ready to commit to writing my lyrics on your chest. I need that and I need you to want to give me that. nobody compares to my sparkle but one time i saw it in my reflection. He was in the room and now I need you to be my mirror I want to see myself when I look at you and I don’t mean to be vain i mean I want us to be real I want to know why I’m with you when I look at you and I need you to tell me why it’s important I care about the things you tell me. our words are deliberate and i’m tired of casting all these spells going unnoticed we’re all in a trance and I don’t think I can kiss you into waking up right now i just want to punch you only to laugh about it a few minutes later. I miss my best friend and how with him things made sense and i knew why he was there even when I didn’t know why I was. that love reinspired me and i feel like I just renewed my life insurance I wish you could make me feel the same way because i’m going to bed with you at night not him. why can’t you see me why don’t you see me? i cough on my own words i wish you would look me in the eyes and tell me why the fuck you bother to text me if you’re not going to reply for hours and if you’re only as good as a dead end at the end of the night. I don’t appreciate you in the way i need to appreciate my lovers and I cannot will not change that change me to accommodate you. update yourself and get with the program because i have all the new software and everything was going smoothly on my end until I plugged into you. malware your silence wears on me relentlessly it speaks louder than your absence why don’t you have words? you are handicapped and I don’t identify with your disability anymore. come around or come thru but you better know how to explain yourself. i can use handcuffs in several different ways, it’s your choice but don’t forget that in the End i decide.
relief rushes over me like a wave and i remember why Time is my closest friend..
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