#and doing the time consuming thing anyway

[beardedjoel]

indebted

dark!joel x f!reader. one shot.

summary: you're having a bad day. one you think is getting better once a rough around the edges man comes to your rescue. you didn't expect it would takes such a sharp turn for the worse. first person pov reader. 9.2k words.

warnings: 18+ MDNI! DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT! NON CONSENUAL SEXUAL ACTS, READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION, pervy, sleazy, and foul mouthed joel. degradation, sexual favors, forced oral and piv, virgin reader, corruption, innocence, and daddy kinks featured. biiig ol' age gap (reader's age not mentioned other than "young" but i imagine her as 18-20 as she has a relatively immature attitude, imagining joel 50-55), this is not for everyone and that's okay. i'm not responsible for the content you consume.

a/n: i had some hormonal induced insanity and came up with this. i had a great time trying out a new pov for writing fic! enjoy him as much as i did, friends 🖤 and thanks @joelstummy for the amazing freaky beta work!

I’ll be the first person to admit now that what I’ve been doing is stupid. Dangerous. Idiotic. The list goes on. I can hear my father’s stern, militant voice in the back of my head, telling me as much. Except now he likely won’t get the chance to relish in it because I’m going to die here. Way out here where nobody will find my body, and I’ll be just another person that went missing in the QZ, never to be seen again. But this time, it’s not some sleazy FEDRA scheme and coverup or a smuggling deal gone wrong.

It’s utterly and completely my fault.

Sneaking out wasn’t meant to become a habit, but after the first few times, I lost the fear and adrenaline that had burned hot through my veins at those first steps of freedom. I craved it again, so I kept going further. And further. Away from civilization as I knew it, until the cluster of buildings known as the Quarantine Zone became a tiny speck in the distance. Out here was desolation, nothingness, only abandoned buildings to explore. The infected were another story, but I started to learn routes that helped me avoid encounters with them.

It helped clear my mind after a while, this newly found sense of adventure. All I’d ever known was a cage, a walled city that had become so mundane I felt my insides starting to rot from the listlessness of it all. My father was important - top in the rankings - I knew that, and it was all the more reason to keep me safely locked away while the city stirred with chatter of an uprising against FEDRA. 

He never bothered to check on me much, anyways, making my little forays quite easy. Once I’d persuaded enough people with ration cards, they’d shown me the tunnel leading to freedom. Well, that tunnel, then another, a ladder to climb back up to the surface, and only then could I go through a precarious hole in a chain link fence. That was the smuggler’s route, they said, an easy ticket to getting in and out without being noticed. 

I’d been abusing it, staying out for days at a time, never able to drink in enough of this quiet solitude that was of my own choosing, not my father’s. I couldn’t quite figure out what hole inside of me I was trying to fill, but I’d be damned if I stopped trying.

However, today seemed to be my last chance to try at all. His footsteps had been quiet - so quiet - approaching behind me. An old store, full of half decayed plushies, molded candies, and other adorable things from lives long put in the past, had called to me, distracted me. The arm around my throat, constricting, the other coming up to put a hand over my mouth. A dirty, putrid smell encompassing everything as I sputtered against him. This is it, I’d thought. What a waste.

I scream and fight against the strong hold he has on me, a nasty sneer right against my skin. “What’s some fresh meat like you doing waaaay out here, huh?” a dark voice rattles into my ear.

I scream behind his dirty palm in response, kicking my legs back at him. I should have learned more self defense, but who needs it when you’ve spent most of your life safely tucked away with your family name as your biggest protector?

“You smell good… real good…” The creep’s voice buzzes by me as he takes a deep breath in, making me shudder. One swift kick and I’m sure this is it, the one to knock him senseless and let me escape. He’s smart for how distracted he seems to be by my scent, and he’s one step ahead of me. My legs are kicked out from underneath me as I rear one back, and I fall to the ground, the man coming down with me to sit on my back, straddling my body in a fluid motion. He grips my hands behind my back, leaving me helpless in my fight, kicking and screaming. I’m ice and heat all at once, my body burning in a frozen blaze, my fight or flight quickly turning to fawn as his weight presses down on me.

“You can have anything in my backpack, anything! Please, let me go! I - I don’t want any trouble,” I choke out pathetically, hating how my voice comes out in shaky waves. This isn’t how to appeal to people like this, people who have lost their sense of humanity, evident by the way he’s now grinding himself down onto my jean clad asscheeks. 

A laugh comes out of him that would haunt me as evil incarnate for the rest of my days if I wasn’t so sure that I was going to die at the hands of this man after he was done with me. “We both know I don’t give a fuck about any damn backpack of yours. I don’t want any trouble either, sweet cheeks, I just think you’d have a lot of fun with me and my friends. But mostly me,” he replies with the hint of a wink in his voice. 

My stomach clenches, sickness rolling in that is only furthered as the man leans down, cloaking me with his large form. I can’t turn enough to see him, to even know what this violation of a man looks like, but his energy is beyond hideous as I catch a glimpse of his yellowing teeth in a grin before he pushes my head down to the cracked linoleum tiles. My hair tangled in his fingers, he holds me down hard, and I struggle to breathe as he crushes me beneath him.

“Now, are you gonna come easily, or do I need to do things the hard way? Either way is fine with me, for a fine piece of ass like this. In fact, I might prefer it the hard way, but we’d hate to ruin this pretty skin of yours, wouldn’t we?” He says slowly, pressing the cold blade of a knife to my throat.

“O-okay, okay,” I acquiesce, stopping my squirming, just needing a bit of room to breathe, my lungs heavy inside my chest. My panic only makes my chest tighter, even when the man leans back the tiniest bit. I had hoped that my sudden compliance would get that knife off my throat, but it hasn’t. “Just don’t hurt me… please…” I whimper.

He lets out a long, ragged sigh. “Afraid I can’t promise that.” 

I’ve never felt fear like this, such certainty that I was about to be ruined, my life as I know it changing without a chance to even look back. I squeeze my eyes shut and brace for it, for anything he’s about to do next, finally accepting that there isn’t any appealing to scummy men in a scummy world. But nothing comes except for a muffled crack ringing through the air, and then a thud as the entire weight of my adversary falls on top of me, crushing. Something warm has splattered on my skin, my face, then starts to coat my jacket, seeping through. I shake violently, begging my body to catch a full breath under the weight of him. 

Then as suddenly as it happened, it stops, the body yanked off of me and tossed to the side with ease. The deafening thud of his entire weight onto the ground is stark. I flip over and scramble backwards, grabbing the knife that had fallen from the man’s hand in his swift, final moment. Holding up a shaky hand, I grip the knife tightly, looking up to face a brutish, tall man with overgrown hair of chestnut and gray. A trim beard with the same coloring wraps around his tightly set jaw. He’s all wide shoulders, thick arms, broad chest, and my senses go on high alert again. His gun is practically still smoking as it hangs at his side, an active threat.

“Y’alright?” he drawls, thick and deep, echoing through the abandoned shop. One step closer to me has the knife practically flailing as I struggle to calm my hands, a strained hum alongside my shaky breathing the only sound I seem capable of making.

“Put that thing down,” he says calmly, almost exasperated. His stance slackens, one knee pushed out as he sizes me up. I’m likely the most miserable looking thing he’s seen in a while, I’m sure. “You’re harmless.”

“H-how do I know you’re not with him?” I blurt out.

My gruff savior lifts his brows incredulously. “That guy?” he asks, motioning impatiently to the dead body only a foot away. “Think I’d be puttin’ a bullet right in his skull if he was my best buddy?”

My eyes dance over him as I think. He has a point, and he did just save me from whatever debauched things that stranger’s mind had been conjuring up.

“Y-yeah, you have a point,” I finally say. He steps closer, and this time, I let him, putting the knife down. He motions with an authoritarian air for me to push it away, and I obey immediately, flinging it across the room. 

“Poor fucker died with a hard on, didn’t he?” The man muses as his boots thud on the way over to the body, kicking it slightly as if to check, letting it roll back before turning his attention on me. “Now, are you usually this stupid, comin’ into hunter territory, or what?” he asks, reaching a hand down to me, presumably to help me up.

“I didn’t know…” I mumble, letting his hand hang there. He doesn’t snatch it back right away, although I can tell he wants to, that he’s already beyond exasperated by his day and the last thing he’d wanted was a damsel in distress like me. I hate that he’s proving all the things I’d been trying to disprove about myself by coming out on these solo trips into the great, big outside. I’m weak. Dependent. Needy. It makes my skin crawl with self loathing and frustration.

“Didn’t know, huh? So just clueless, then?” the man spits out, staring down at me with darkened eyes that make me turn my head away in shame. At my sullen silence, he seems to soften a little. “I’m Joel,” he says, an offering to go along with his outstretched hand.

I sigh, taking it and telling him my own name. I’m up on my feet, dusting myself off and looking at him shyly now. I don’t know what people are supposed to say when someone saves their life, so I just mumble, “Thank you.”

Joel snorts, nodding in acknowledgment as he crouches to pat down the body, seeming to come up short of anything interesting. “Don’t thank me yet,” he says, standing back to his full, towering height, glancing around with sharp eyes. “We should move.”

I might be as stupid as he says, because I wordlessly start to follow him towards the door. His hand stretches out behind him, open and inviting me in as he checks outside the door with a careful peek, his gun held tightly in the other. I stare down at it in disbelief. “C’mon, I don’t bite,” he sighs, that perpetual vexation in his tone again as he twitches his brows at me. “Need you close by. An’ it seems you have a tendency to go where you shouldn’t.”

My cheeks grow hot at the harsh truth of it, and I grasp his hand without any further objections, marveling for a moment at the way it envelops mine. All calloused and hard, mine soft and unused for labor of any kind. 

“I’ve got a safehouse not too far from here.”

“A safehouse?”

“It’s already gettin’ dark. There ain’t no way we’re making it back to the QZ today, princess,” he retorts quickly, the pet name mocking on his tongue.

“How’d you know?” I ask softly, disappointment pressing in on my shoulders.

He chuckles out more of a snort, pulling me around a bend, slowly leaving behind the dangerous territory that I’d unknowingly encroached on. “You’re a FEDRA princess if I’ve ever seen one,” he tells me, and my heart sinks that I was so easy to read. I’d seen how capable this man Joel was, but damn was he was astute, more than I’d given him credit for. 

I chew at my lip. “Fair enough,” I mumble under my breath, letting him take his well earned win. The longer I hang onto Joel’s hand, letting him expertly weave me through the barren streets, the safer I start to feel. He knows where he’s going, a practiced route he’s taken countless times, and it hits me then that this man is a smuggler. He has to be.

“Are you a smuggler?” I ask pointedly. “I’ve heard that people like that come in and out of the QZ.”

Joel falters for just a brief second, giving me a wily grin. “Look who’s readin’ who now,” he says with a dry chuckle. “Ain’t gonna run and tell your daddy, are you?”

I shake my head, pressing my lips together in a smile. “I can keep a secret.” In fact, I like keeping secrets from my father, hence the sneaking out, so Joel can count on me to never rat him out.

His amused grin in response lights a little flame akin to friendship inside of me. This grumpy old bastard could smile after all. “Just through here,” he says, letting the smile drop, taking a sharp left down a street just as a sprinkle of rain starts to fall on us. It’s a less urban area - more like a neighborhood - sprouted with apartment buildings and abandoned, vine covered cars. It’s my favorite thing about all the exploration I’ve been doing, seeing the way nature can reclaim anything and make it her own. 

The cracked street below us makes me tread carefully, lagging behind as Joel’s hand tugs me along urgently. We turn down an alley, Joel whipping his head left to right before dragging me behind him, finally dropping my hand to open a door that leads right into a tiny lobby and a stairwell. He runs a hand through his damp hair, slicking it back some - a rather handsome look for him, now that I’m thinking about it. I try to ignore that thought as his voice booms through the empty room.

“Up,” he commands, gripping my hand again and leading us up the stairs. 

My stomach sinks a little when he takes out a key, unlocking a padlock on one of the apartments numbered 405 and pushing the old, chipped door inwards. I have no reason not to trust Joel, he saved my life afterall, but I can’t shake the nerves I feel from being in an unfamiliar place with an unfamiliar man. It’s quiet here, likely nobody in the vicinity but the two of us.

“Home sweet home,” he grunts out, dropping his backpack and gun holster near the door and shrugging off his damp jacket, leaving him in a plain tee shirt that hugs his muscular frame. It’s a small, cramped apartment with a living room and kitchen directly next to it, a little window cut into the wall, peering in on the living room from above the stove. It looks as if it’s left exactly as it was years ago, full of furniture and clutter, only a vessel for Joel to use without making it his own at all. I peer past to see a small hallway I can only assume leads to a bedroom and bathroom.

“Know it ain’t the palace you’re probably used to, but we’ll be safe an’ dry here,” he say, and I roll my eyes behind his back. If Joel thinks that I live in a palace, he’s clearly misunderstood the state that the QZ is in. My father’s house is spacious, sure, but it’s just as dilapidated as the rest of the city. The only difference is the level of protection afforded to our homes.

He ambles into the kitchen, rummaging through the cabinets with a clatter, then comes back moments later with an open can of beans and two forks. I’m still standing in the entryway, unsure of what to do with myself.

“Hungry?” he asks gruffly, and I shake my head, wide eyed. I’d lost my appetite the minute that man had grabbed me earlier, and I couldn’t seem to get it back. Joel shrugs, digging in with a messy forkful of from the can. “Your funeral,” he says, chewing.

Joel sinks down onto the couch with a tiny groan, setting down the can on the side table next to his armrest, giving the other cushion an expectant look. “Well, you gonna sit your ass on down an’ tell me why the hell I had to save it today, or what? Why the hell you’re wanderin’ around like it’s a free for all out there?”

I flinch slightly at his harsh tone, but gingerly step my way into the room, unzipping my jacket and shedding it. For the chill outside, the temperature inside the apartment is more comfortable than I’d expect, my skin welcoming the change. Joel eyes my thin tee shirt, and I feel a flash of heat sweep my skin before I feel the prickle of goosebumps, knowing my nipples are poking through the fabric. His eyes catch there before he promptly averts them.

I sit precariously next to Joel on the loveseat, pressed as far away as I can from him, not wanting to cramp his personal space. But he seems to have no problem with that anyways, his legs spread wide open in a comfortable stance, leaned back against the cushions. He pinches the bridge of his nose, eyes shut for a moment as he awaits my answer. 

“I was… exploring,” I say simply, cringing at how ridiculous it sounds coming out of my mouth. Who leaves perfect safety to wander around in a dangerous world on purpose? For no other reason than curiosity and a sudden, rebellious sense of defiance?

His eyes snap open, head pulling up from the couch, turning my way. “Explorin’…” He mulls on the word, slowly licking his lips before pursing them. “You’re tellin’ me I had to save a FEDRA brat today ‘cause she was explorin’? You really are stupid. ‘Course you are, look how young y’are. Look how fuckin’... sheltered.” Joel throws his hands up, landing them on his thighs with a soft thud, sighing. “Can’t even blame ya.”

I pluck up every bit of courage I have, glaring at him with narrowed eyes. “Look, it was really nice of you to save me and everything, and I do thank you for it. I’m sorry if I messed up whatever… smuggling stuff you had going on today, but I’d appreciate it if you didn’t call me… stupid.” The last word is quiet, mousy, and I turn my head down, eyes shining with unshed tears that I silently curse myself for. My father’s voice rings through my head - you stupid girl! - making me shudder.

Joel sucks at his teeth. “Hit a nerve, I see,” he says passively. “Alright, I’m sorry kiddo. I just mean, you’re puttin’ yourself at risk doin’ what you’re doin’, and it ain’t a smart idea. Yeah?”

“Yeah,” I sigh out, relaxing a little. “I just needed to get away.”

“From your dear old daddy?” he teases, picking up the can, shoveling several more bites into his mouth. I go silent, picking at a thread on the couch rather than answer him. “Ah, another nerve, I see. Daddy issues. Could’ve guessed that one.”

“I don’t have -”

“Sweetheart…” Joel interrupts, looking at me from under his brows, pulling his lip between his teeth, seeming to look at me in a fresh light. It sends my skin tingling, the way he eyes me, a glint in his stare. It seems to prove his point, the way a pet name from a middle aged man seems to immobilize me against my will. I want to slap the smug look off his face, but I have no grounds to do so, only grumbling quietly with my cheeks blazing in embarrassment. A prickle of something else works its way deep into my belly, something warm at how his scrutinizing eyes flick over my body, the lines in his face set, showing his age, his experience. 

“Take a piece of advice from a man probably as old as your daddy, then. Trust me when I say that outside those walls ain’t the place to find what you’re lookin’ for. The sooner you let go of that notion, the better off you’ll be.” 

Frustration blooms hot in my chest, overpowering whatever the hell that sudden, unwanted feeling was. I’m tired of people dictating what I can and can’t do, what I’m capable of. “People do it all the time - smugglers - you would know,” I retort. “I’ve been doing it for months. Never had a problem until today. It was just some bad luck.”

“Bad luck? Really? You’d be that man’s newest little cock sleeve if it weren’t for me savin’ your ass,” Joel growls, standing up off the couch. I wince at his vulgar language, the picture it paints in my mind of what life might have been like if Joel hadn’t happened to be in the right place at the right time.

“I - I know - I’m sorry,” I blurt out, feeling my hands start to go shaky. “Thank you, Joel, I really - I really do owe you. Everything.”

“Like I said, don’t thank me yet.” He steps over so that he’s in front of me, using his boot to part my legs, scooting them apart and standing between them. “Think I did all this out of the kindness of my heart, did you? Didn’t think that maybe I was after the same damn thing as buddy boy earlier?”

I’m like a fish out of water, the way my lips move with no sound coming out. “Joel…” I breathe out in warning, in questioning. I see his arms strain in his t-shirt, hands flexing open and closed.

“I can’t say the thought ain’t crossin’ my mind now. You are mighty pretty. And you do owe me a favor. One big ol’ gigantic favor, for savin’ your backside.” He brushes his fingers along his jeans, palming his crotch for a brief second before leaning forward, caging me in on the couch with hands on either side of me, pressing into the cushions. My heart hammers in my chest so loud I expect Joel can hear it, can feel the fear taking hold of me. He bares his teeth above me like a wild animal, and now I’m certain he can smell my fear too, that he thrives on it. 

“You know what? Maybe you were bound to find what you were lookin’ for outside those walls. Maybe that’s what you needed, is it? Couldn’t find any love from daddy back home, so you wanted to find someone to turn you into their own personal little play thing. Poor baby just needed some attention, did she? Sad, really.”

My hands tremble, my words lost as I can only breathe in shaky little breaths, shaking my head violently. How can this god forsaken day keep getting worse? 

“Please -” I mumble out, bringing a jittery hand up to my mouth. Joel slaps it away, gripping my chin harshly at first, inspecting me before his thumb brushes over my bottom lip. I’d think it was gentle, caring, even, if not for the nasty look spreading across his face, the grin that darkens it along with his eyes.

“Time to put this pretty thing to better use and show how grateful you are to ol’ daddy Joel,” he says, using his free hand to deftly unbuckle his belt, the jangling sound like a death knell, making my throat go dry. “Promise I’ll be much better than he would’ve been earlier. People say I’m… a generous lover.” His drawl is slow and calculated, voice deep with lust, the sly smirk turning to a triumphant grin as he chuckles, amusing himself.

He grips the top of my head, pushing me to slide down the couch cushions into a slump as I struggle, powerless against a man of his strength. He positions himself higher up to bring the giant denim bulge right in my view. I wince, trying to turn my head away as his zipper comes undone, his hand grasping deep into the fly of his jeans, yanking his cock out. When it springs free, I gasp as he lets it slap me in the face. Hot, throbbing, and massive, leaking a shiny bead of precum that had ended up somewhere on my cheek. I sit stunned and held in place by his rough hand. 

The cold hard fact hits me that this is the first time I’m ever going to experience intimacy of any kind. Hell, I’ve only had one kiss before, and it was when I was ten years old, with a boy belonging to one of my father’s friends, a name I can’t even remember now. The first penis I’m ever seeing is right here, right now, in a context I have had zero control over. It’s thicker than I’d imagined one could be, softer too as I look at the skin of it. Veins run along the sides and bottom, all leading up to an imposing, angry pink head at the tip, practically bursting as it awaits me. It’s magnificent and terrifying at the same time, nothing like what I’d expected based on the half-assed health classes provided by schooling in the QZ. Sex has always had a shroud of mystery for me, and I never imagined that all those secrets, long awaited, would be uncovered like this. A dingy bedroom, a man likely almost three times my age, and me as an unwilling participant. Desperation swiftly grips my chest as I realize I actually have no clue what goes on behind closed doors between two people, and I have a feeling I’m about to find out in the crudest of ways.

The fearful innocence I know is about to be stolen from me causes tears to sting at my eyes, fat little droplets that instantly start to roll down my cheeks, leaking onto Joel’s large fingers still gripped around my chin. I start to struggle, my body seeming to catch up with my mind, loud warning sirens of DANGER! DANGER! finally blaring out in a panic. When I squirm, Joel plants one of his knees into my body, keeping himself balanced while still being able to hold me down. 

“Don’t cry now, honey, it’ll only make him harder.” He sneers as he strokes his cock, slapping the head against my closed lips a few times. He wrenches my jaw down, forcing it open. “Nice ‘n wide for this big boy, there we go,” he says, not waiting a moment longer to barge his cock past the opening while he has it. 

He groans loudly as he shoves several inches in right from the get go, his eyes nearly rolling back in his head. The hand that had been holding my jaw presses in on my shoulder, holding me in place. I’d have nowhere to go, anyways, with his knee on my thighs, his entire body caging me in, the cushions giving me no leeway to the way his cock is forcefully intruding, inch by inch down my throat. The taste is all consuming - a little salty, a little ripe, tasting like days of Joel’s old sweat, but it’s not completely bad, not what I’d have expected. It’s heady in a strange way, clouding my mind as I try to cope with the fullness in my mouth. 

The next moment I sputter, my eyes popping open wide, flooded with tears as he hits the back of my throat. I try to gasp for air and I find that I can’t. This is torture of some form, it must be. Full panic follows, where I try to move, but every avenue is pinned down in some way by Joel’s massive body. I weakly flap at him with my hands but it barely even deters him from rocking his hips in and out, choking me again on the thrust inwards as the back of my throat tightens, gagging around his thick girth. 

“Open up, relax your goddamn throat,” Joel hisses at me, keeping his cock pressed fully to the back of my throat, constricting any airflow I was hoping to have. I finally breathe shakily out of my nose when he pulls back just enough, only to slide it in slowly, his eyes carefully watching me. I glance up for the first time at him from below, hoping to find any shred of humanity he might have for me, but I’m met with an icy, dark gaze clouded with lust, power. 

“Gonna fuck your face now, like the dumb little slut you are. This is what stupid girls get for wanderin’ around by themselves. This is what they ask for.” He punctuates the last words with a sharp thrust inwards, my entire body convulsing with the gag I sputter out around him, drool pooling around my stretched lips. I would whimper if I could, if I even had the air to do so. 

Joel is relentless for the next few moments, rapid thrusts in and out of my mouth, my head held conveniently in place against the couch cushions for him. He groans deeply, his pleasure evident while I’m just trying to get my next breath in. I time them expertly, learning as I go, letting him continue to take from me to gain his own pleasure. 

“That’s it, that’s right, you’re turnin’ into quite the good girl,” Joel mutters above me, rolling his hips with vigor and making me gag again. I can feel drool dribbling down my chin, my neck, landing on my chest, and it makes me feel ashamed, embarrassed, and a twinge of something else. I can’t tell as Joel grunts, pumping himself in and out of my gruesomely contorted jaw, if the fact that it’s something even remotely sexual has me feeling things I shouldn’t. My cheeks burn hot as my eyes continue to water - how much of it is crying and how much of it is just my body’s response to him hitting the back of my throat, I don’t know.

Then he surprises me by slowing down, languid strokes of his cock in and out with sloppy sounds, a soft hand landing on my head, stroking before bundling my hair in his fist tightly. “Knew you’d have such a filthy little mouth for daddy,” he coos, rolling his hips forward a little further, touching the back of my throat with his cock. 

My body spasms a little when he keeps pushing, grumbling quiet groans of approval. My eyes squeeze shut, leaking out an onslaught of tears. I don’t want to see the aftermath if it ends up that it’s one gag too many and the inevitable happens. But to my surprise, he keeps slipping down, intruding on my throat. I try to keep my trembling body still, wanting to keep my throat relaxed, terrified of what might happen if I fight this. Can a person die this way? Could I really choke to death on this man’s dick? 

“Jesus fuck. Lord have fuckin’ mercy…” Joel breathes out as he pushes even further. “Swallowin’ him down, aren’t ya? Feel me right in here, I bet.” I flinch when he touches his hand to the column of my throat, wrapping his fingers softly around the flesh. When he starts to retreat, the choking is back in a second, but Joel holds me by the throat, keeping my neck craned back, returning to the brutal way he’d been abusing my mouth. I groan and sputter and try to cough through all of it, my mouth stuffed full over and over again before I can get a breath in. 

He’s relentless, and then it stops all at once, his cock popping out from between my lips with a wet, lewd sound. A stream of drool follows, a gush that dribbles down onto my already soaked shirt, and I cough violently, my hands flailing to clutch at my chest. 

As soon as the pressure of Joel’s body lifts off of me, I’m scrambling to somewhere, anywhere else, my limbs stiff and achy, my jaw panging with a soreness I’ve never felt before. He stands in front of me, one hand shooting out to grab the collar of my shirt before I can even get fully off the couch, pulling me close.

“Does it look like you’re done showin’ your gratitude yet?” he growls out, gripping the back of my head and forcing me to look down at his cock, still standing at full attention, shiny and dripping with saliva. I swallow hard, the lump painful on the way down. Joel shakes my head for me, the burn at my scalp making me wince. He presses his hips flush with mine, forcing his erection against my thigh before slipping it between them. He leans in close, hot breath ghosting over my face before his lips brush mine.

“You do make a pretty cocksleeve, y’know. Suckin’ cock like a cheap whore, wonder if you take it the same way in your cunt.”

I whimper, shaking my head, the tears non-stop as they roll down my cheeks. “Please… don’t. You don’t have to do this…”

Joel scoffs. “If I put my hand down your pants to that pretty little snatch, tell me I wouldn’t find you wet right now.” He punctuates the words with a sharp pull on my scalp. I cry out, lip quivering, trying to shake my head. “Don’t lie t’me after I’ve been so, so generous t’you today.”

I’m spinning around, a dizzying sensation, Joel’s strong bicep brought across my chest as his other hand delves below my waistline, plunging deep, right to my cotton panties, bypassing the waistband of those, too. Without care, without any sense of boundaries, his fingers explore, slipping through my sensitive slit with ease. I yelp, squirming at the intrusion, and Joel’s deep chuckle behind me confirms what I already knew, what I was beyond confused by.

“Thought so,” he says gruffly, then he cups my entire mound, giving an almost comforting sensation, holding his hand tightly pressed to it. “Nothin’ to be upset about, we’re just havin’ a little fun, payin’ off your debt to dear ol’ Joel, okay?”

I shake my head. “I - I shouldn't be here… it shouldn’t be like this,” I whisper in a cracking voice, hanging my head low as the tears just keep coming, damn them. 

Joel’s fingers start to move slowly, just starting with one, stroking gently up my lips, spreading my slickness around. I’m surprised that it feels good, a pleasant little tingle zipping right to my core that I quickly lament, hating myself for it. “What shouldn’t be like this, hm? That you shouldn’t like my cock down your throat? It’s perfectly natural, doll,” he says, somehow soft and condescending in the same breath.

“A-all of this,” I whimper, “Please, j-just let me go. I w-won’t say anything, I won’t do anything. I just…”

Joel quietly shushes me, letting his finger do the talking for a moment. It drags up to my clit, rubbing tiny, enticing little circles. I bite my lip hard, enough to taste copper, trying to suppress the moan climbing its way up from my chest. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay that it feels good. It’s ‘sposed to. Good little sluts like you don’t know any better, don’t care what it is that’s gettin’ their panties wet. Desperate,” he growls, fingers sliding through the slick mess that’s now drooling onto the cotton. “Just relax, let it happen…” I feel his breath, hot on my ear, before he nibbles, biting down hard on the earlobe, tugging it with his teeth. It bursts out, the whimpering moan I’d been holding back, just as he pinches my clit at the same time as the bite.

He laughs. He has the nerve to laugh and it sends a shiver down my spine, my brain muddled and confused and turned on by the eroticism at play here. He soothes me by nuzzling my neck, taking a long, deep breath in. I squirm as Joel’s hand retreats, and I wonder for just a moment, a brief, all consuming moment, if maybe he’s seen reason. When his fingers find the buttons of my jeans, my heart plummets to depths previously unknown as he unbuttons them, pulling the zipper down slowly, the only sound in the room his harsh breathing right on my neck.

“Please, I gave you what you want already,” I beg once more, feeling it fall on deaf ears as Joel tugs my jeans down, revealing my pink cotton panties. They’re my favorite pair - were my favorite pair - a rare find in a world like this. Pretty pale pink with a nice lacy trim and a little bow at the front. Only now, they’d belong to Joel.

Joel clicks his tongue in approval of the sight, pulling his head back to peer at my underwear from the back before his hand grips my ass, jiggling it roughly. “Oh, you’re jus’not getting it, are you? You feel this?” he asks angrily, letting me feel the hard length of his cock pressed to my ass cheeks, threatening to slip between my thighs. “This means you didn’t give me nearly half of what I want yet. He’s still achin’ for ya, princess.” 

I grit my teeth, hating the pet name, the way he’s using who I am to mock me. It’s a low blow. I hated everything to do with being associated with my father - I knew he wasn’t a good man - and I hated most that it was so obvious to a stranger which echelon of society I belonged to. If I was so important, where were they now, huh? I want to scream those words at him, but instead I just feel my legs tremble underneath me, my knees feeling like jelly as they almost give out on me.

“Please!” I struggle against his hold, but it only makes him grip my ass tighter, hard enough to bruise. “I-I’m a virgin,” I suddenly squeak out, unsure of why I say it other than some last ditch effort to deter him. My heart pounds as he stills, dead silent with his hand grasping my ass like it’s his next meal, like he owns it. 

“Well ain’t it my lucky day. Shit, that’s why you were sputterin’ all over my damn cock, ain’t it?” he says as the epiphany dawns on him, laughing. My cheeks blaze hotter and hotter, hating that I’m even embarrassed at my lack of experience and skills, like I have some sick need to impress him. He notices my tension, my head hanging low as I cry new tears, and says, “Hey, hey, nothin’ to be ashamed for. In fact…” His hand fists in my underwear, tight and unrelenting. I feel his cock press against my ass again, harder than ever before it slips between my thighs. “Makes me awful excited,” he purrs, bringing his mouth to my ear again.

I only give him a timid whimper in reply, squeezing my eyes shut as I realize there is nothing I can do to stop this man. He thinks I’m a cheap whore, and he loves it. I’m a pure virgin, and he loves it even more.

He squeezes me tighter to his chest, my back starting to sweat through my thin tee shirt. “The hell were you savin’ yourself for anyways? Marriage? A sweet pussy like this?” At my silence, he cups my pussy hard, letting the dampness of my underwear soak into his palm. “Answer me!” he barks out.

“I - I wasn’t! I don’t know!” I cry out, trembling.

“Well,” he says, fisting my panties again, starting to pull them down. “M’honored you’d let me be your first, sweetheart,” he drawls, and I nearly scream at the insinuation. I’m not letting him do anything. 

I start to put up more of a fight, useless against his thick arms holding me so tightly. Cool air touches my ass and the space between my thighs as he manages to shimmy my panties further down even in my struggle. I clamp my legs shut in defiance, roaring out a strained grunt as I keep trying to squirm out of his grasp. He huffs in anger, trying to subdue my writhing body before he pushes it towards the couch. I land hard, banging my knee on the hard edge that supports the cushion, wincing and trying to catch my breath. I’m practically in position for him already, ass pressed out towards him, on my hands and knees.

“Gonna make me do things the hard way, are you?” He scowls, his free hand fisting in my hair again, pulling me close.  His breath is hot over my shoulder, the sensation vile against the skin of my cheek, stained with tears. “Been too long since I found a pretty virgin like you. An’ ruinin’ this perfect, pure little cunt is jus’ the cherry on top of a perfect day f’me.” 

I feel his hard cock twitch against me, a reminder of what’s to come. The movements are quick for how bulky Joel’s body is, let alone his age, as he exchanges the hold across my chest for my wrists, bundling them behind my back. I cry out at the strain, the awkward angle he’d twisted them to, fighting him again until a hard smack lands on my ass. I scream through gritted teeth, not giving up the fight, but another thwap! rings out through the apartment, making me falter. My tender flesh screams at me in agony when he lands another spank, even harder this time, then another, until I’m crying unrelenting, fat tears.

With me rendered motionless, Joel presses down, bending me over, my balance tricky with my hands behind my back. My face nearly touches the couch, but I’m precariously held up by the wrists, the strain already making them ache. The warmth dripping between my thighs betrays me as my ass stings in residual little pulses, so raw and sore but spreading a pleasure through me that I’ve never known before. 

I don’t have time to dwell on it before Joel is grasping one hand on my hip, notching himself at my entrance. “Promise you’re gonna like this, that you’ll never be able to think of anyone else’s cock but daddy Joel’s,” he spews gruffly in my ear before he thrusts hard, one swift motion to bury himself inside of me. I scream out, the searing pain between my thighs making me wonder if I’m being split open for good, if it’s possible that some things are just too big to fit in certain places of the body. 

“Fuuuuuuck,” Joel hisses through his teeth, making the tiniest thrusting motions to ensure he’s buried deep. Every movement pierces me with a new sting as my body desperately tries to adjust, to accommodate the horrible, overwhelming intrusion. “You were not kiddin’, sweetheart. Tightest fuckin’ pussy I’ve ever been in.”

I sob, unable to speak, unable to move as Joel thrusts brutally from the get go, his hips snapping with force, crashing into mine hard enough to bruise. The lewd sounds we make disgust me, because I know I’m part of those sounds, my body enjoying the filthy things he’s saying, the way he’s taking me without remorse. He pulls himself out, clicking his tongue as he peers down between our bodies. “Christ, you are one sexy little bird. Poor little virgin bleedin’ on daddy’s cock.”

The thought horrifies me, making my stomach turn. “Please,” I cry out, my body rocking with the motions as he starts to fuck me again, the strain on my wrists as Joel uses them to help thrust himself inside of me starting to gnaw deeper into them. I’m like a ragdoll with the way he’s jerking me by my wrists, my body having no choice but to flail in time with the movements so that he can press himself deep on each cruel thrust inwards.

“You want more? You beggin’ already?” Joel grunts between his heavy breaths, sounding so cocky it makes me want to spin around and punch him. I settle for gritting my teeth instead, feeling my body slowly but surely melding into his. When Joel presses me down further, forcing an arch in my back, I whimper when his cock hits something sensitive, deep, primal. Fuck, is it something. 

“Oh, that’s it. We got her now, don’t we?” he says from above, continuing to stroke his cock along that spot repeatedly. I feel myself losing my will to fight, hating the pleasure but feeling myself lean into it slightly, my hips pressing back to meet his nearly against my will. “You ever come before, sweetheart?” He leans in a little closer to ask the question, the pistoning of his hips slowing the slightest bit.

I refuse to answer, tears pooling in my eyes. I don’t want him to take this from me, I don’t want him to know anything about me. He jerks my wrists at the same time he slams his hips into me, and I whimper loudly, feeling the way he’s surely bruising my insides. 

“If you ain’t figured it out yet, the rules are that you answer me when I’m askin’ you a question if you know what’s good for ya,” he spits out, and I shake my head, letting it hang limply.

“Use your words. Say ‘no, daddy’,”  he says with sinister condescension, stroking his own ego.

“N-no… daddy…” I say, my tongue revolting against the words, bile climbing up my throat.

He moves his hand to my head, stroking carefully and softly. “Oh, that’s a shame. That’s a daaaamn shame. All pent up, y’are. But daddy will make it all better.” He sounds deranged, sick, like he truly believes that I’m thankful to him for what he’s doing to me. I can’t answer, my mouth gaping open just as he releases my wrists, letting me fall to the couch with a thud. My open mouth gets a mouthful of the cushions, making me sick over the fact that it’s probably full of god knows what due to its age and whatever things Joel seems to get up to in this apartment of his.

I blink as Joel grips tightly at my hips, wondering why he suddenly trusts my hands to be free, when it happens. He thrusts into that spot again, harsh and unforgiving, and I nearly see stars behind my eyes as the head of his cock punches against things I didn’t even know were there. That’s why. I’m incapacitated at this angle, brutally forced to enjoy the pleasure washing over my body as Joel takes from me, actually giving in return this time.

I bite my tongue hard, not wanting to give him any satisfaction for the tiny moans that are growing louder in my throat, desperate to be let out.

“Let me hear you, princess. Daddy doesn’t do with quiet girls. I can feel you clampin’ down on my cock, know you’re lovin’ how I use you up like you were meant for it.”

I shake my head in protest, but a strangled sound escapes past my tight lips when Joel slams into me harder than he has yet, puffing hard as he fucks me like a greedy animal. He chuckles through heavy breaths, little whispers of that’s it, come on, take it, flow freely from his nasty mouth. 

I feel myself slip away, further gone from reality as the warmth spreads from my pelvis into my belly, coiling tight. Everything tingles, set on fire, the spot where Joel handles my hips with his fat fingers practically burning with a constant mix of pleasure and pain. I cry out when Joel’s cock pulls that feeling out from deep inside of me again, half a sob and half a moan as it crescendos, waves of pleasure crashing over me.

Joel’s grunts of approval, so brutish and debauched, sends a new wave of arousal through me. I tremble, eyes squeezed shut with my body completely out of my control, taken over by this boundless bliss. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever felt before: heavenly warmth worlds above any of the pleasures I’ve known. This had to be what Joel was referring to, urging me towards, telling me he wanted to make me come. This had to be what I was missing out on all these years, hiding myself away. Was this the reason sex was so coveted, so sought after? Was this feeling… the reason he’s doing what he is to me right now?  

It feels like it’s never ending, my body so rigid as it spasms yet pliant as he fucks into me harder and harder. I loathe the noises I’m making that intermingle with his as I squeeze my eyes shut, enjoying it.

“Fuck, fuck - that’s it - f-fuck knew you’d love it. Come on my cock, baby, that’s right.” Joel’s string of praises reach my ears as I come down from my high, limp and yielding to whatever it is he wants to do to me now. I have no fight - my bones turned to jelly, my body sore all over, my throat scratchy from the way he’d assaulted it earlier. I only have it in me to give the rest of myself over, whether I like it or not. 

“S-so fuckin’ tight, lettin’ me take your virginity like a good little whore,” he punches out, pounding into my sensitive cunt like it’s saving his soul, like it’s the only thing he could ever care about. I’m on the precipice of coming again, my nerves still frayed and on edge from the last one. A smaller but still powerful climax takes over, my body shuddering and tight, milking every last second of the pleasure. 

“Gonna blow my load into this pure little pussy, make it mine - fuck - gonna fill you up like the cocksleeve you are. P-probably never want to be without my fuckin’ load drippin’ out of you again. I-I’m close, fuck -” Joel rambles as he ruts his hips deep, one final thrust and a grunt, and I feel him stall, pulsing into me. 

It’s all suddenly very still, an eerie quiet settling over the room. My entire body burns hot, the only thing keeping me from collapsing is Joel’s hands still anchored on my hips as he leaves his cock inside of me, plugging me up. I want to cry again at the sudden, overwhelming shame I feel, but I can’t give him the satisfaction. I can’t.

Joel pats my ass a few times, pulling out. I tremble hard, falling forward onto the couch without his hold, instantly curling in on myself. I resent the way I’d noticed how empty I felt the second he was gone, how cold my body was without his warmth pressed into it. I dare to peer up at the sick man who stands above me, catching his breath, watching just as the last bit of his softening cock gets tucked back into his jeans. He swipes a hand across his forehead, gathering sweat, staring down at me with a darkened expression, grinning cockily.

When he plops down on the couch next to me, picking up the can of beans he’d been eating before, my mouth hangs open in surprise at how casual he’s acting. I watch his face shine with sweat, his breathing still labored, but everything else about his attitude would indicate he didn’t just force himself on me. 

I try to keep my expression neutral for my own safety as I feel something leak out of me, not even wanting to give him the smug satisfaction of having to confirm my suspicions about what it is. I do my best to position my body so he can’t see between my legs as I try to pull my underwear up from where they sit near my knees, my jeans following. Joel only gives me a knowing glance as he takes a bite, conscious of the fact that a part of him sits inside my now soiled underwear, and a part of me now sits inside of his soul. 

He shoves the can my way and I shrink back at his sudden motion, not taking it from him. “Eat. I ain’t havin’ you all weak and despondent for the next time.”

I feel my heart sink down past my ass, my stomach plummeting along with it as nausea overtakes me, a dizzying sensation clouding my vision. He couldn’t have said what I think he did. I - I’d paid my debt, whatever it was he thought I owed him for saving me when I didn’t even ask him to. For saving me and then doing exactly what that man had planned to do anyways under the guise of a caring, noble rescuer.

“N-next time…?” I manage to make my mouth move, my throat to produce a sound, pushing the question out in a voice that doesn’t sound like my own.

“Know you said not to call you stupid but my house, my rules, an’ sweetheart…” He looks at me under his raised, expectant brows. “My stupid, stupid girl. Did you really think that would be enough? That I’d get an opportunity every man dreams of - an untouched, perfect pussy like yours, to keep all for m’self, and throw it all away?” He’s creeping closer as he speaks, shrouding me on the couch with his huge frame, caging in where I lay, my body wound as tightly as it can to itself to block whatever he’s thinking of doing next. “Now you don’t think daddy is that dumb to let you go knowin’ all that, do you?”

I sit stunned silent underneath him, wide eyes fixed in a tortured gaze on his rugged face, but his hand squeezing my thigh is warning enough for me to shake my head, stuttering out an answer. “N-no. No…” I whisper. 

Two approving pats on my cheek send Joel slinking back slightly, his dark, unhinged eyes staring holes into me as they roam over my body. Despite nothing even visible - my chest hidden underneath my arms and legs clamped tightly - I feel violated, objectified. 

Terror rips through my chest as reality settles in slowly but surely. I look at the man I’d trusted once, who’d shown himself to be a friend, or at the least an ally, currently feasting his eyes on me like I’m a product. Which now, I suppose I am. A whore. His whore.

“Now,” he says, licking his lips, that hungry gaze already returning, a bulge appearing in his jeans and stretching the fabric. “All I’ve got to do is decide just how long I’ll keep ya for.”

dividers by @/saradika-graphics!

[pboogerswbb]

TOO LOST IN YOU - pt II

Paige Bueckers x bartender!oc (Valerie) (i know first part is x reader... i'm sorry for changing to an oc but it makes more sense in a multipart series)

playlist, part I

DISCLAIMER!: this is fanfiction (note the word FICTION), this is not a true depiction of what i think paige is like, this is purely fiction for entertainment purposes

Warnings: toxic!paige, language, some sexual thoughts but no smut in this one (sorry guys), paige is an asshole fr

Wordcount: 4.9k (sorry)

A/N: i got so much love and so many people asking for more after the first part <3 ty all i'm so grateful! this will likely be around 7 parts so please buckle up lol. ALSO I'M SORRY FOR NO SMUT but let me cook guys it'll get good. the point of this part is to get inside paige's head and understand why she is the way she is, things will speed up in the next part i swear. OK GO READ ILYSM MWAH

-

It’s hard being Paige Bueckers. Not every 23-year-old had to deal with the kind of pressure I did. Most of the time it felt like the whole world was watching me, waiting for me to fail. It used to bother the shit out of me but after all the injuries, everything I’ve been through, I thrived on it. I knew I would prove them wrong - prove that I’m great, that I’m me. Just like my dad would tell me, over and over again. I knew I was great, so greatness was expected. But I’d be lying if I said it didn’t come with a great deal of pressure. I always said pressure is a privilege. But sometimes when I lay in bed alone after a game, even a win, the pressure consumed me. I didn’t like to be alone. So I went around different girls’ beds, like they meant nothing. Because they didn’t - they were just a distraction from my own mind. Like I said, it’s hard being Paige Bueckers - hard being me.

“You okay babe?”

I’m shaken out of my thoughts, returning back to earth, back to the small bed I was lying in. The brunette next to me nuzzles her nose into my arm, watching me with that look I knew too well. Like she wanted something from me. I hated when girls looked at me like that.

I clear my throat, trying not to flinch as she wraps her arm around me. “Yeah Zoe, ‘m fine,” I murmur, letting her press herself to my side, her body sticky from our prior activities. Zoe was a cuddler, so she was usually last on my roster. It’s hard to plan your escape when a girl clings to you like a koala and worst of all, wants to sleep like that all night. I never got that, cuddling while sleeping. It gets hot, sweaty and cramped, I find it hard to believe anyone actually enjoys it. People just think they do because they’re in love or something. And I can’t afford to be in love. I had a natty to win.

Zoe’s slender finger brushes through my blonde hair and I can feel that claustrophobic, uncomfortable tightness inside me. Like I had to get out. Her dorm was dim and the air was heavy and slightly humid from the second round I had insisted on. The sheets stuck to my skin uncomfortably and her bed made this annoying sound everytime I moved or even breathed.

I turn my gaze to Zoe who’s looking at me, all googly eyed. Oh God. She smiles wide and presses a kiss to my cheek. The scent of her shampoo lingers in the air, the smell of banana and some kind of citrus. I had never liked banana scented things.

“Uh, anyway that was fun,” I mumble, and sit up on the bed, forcing her off me as gently as I could. “But I got practice early,” I add, reaching for my t-shirt and throwing it on.

I don’t notice the offended look on Zoe’s face. I grab my phone from the floor, checking my texts urgently.

Yo you tryna do a lil sum tonight?

I know ur not workin sooo we could have a lil fun like we did the other day

Valerie?

I sigh, feeling the knot in my stomach tighten as I stare at the read receipt underneath the texts. I tap on the back of my phone case impatiently, wondering if sending a fourth text would make me pathetic. Maybe I should just call her? Nah, I must be trippin.

Since I met her at Ted’s, Valerie was the first I called when being in my bed alone was tearing up my mind. But it didn’t mean anything, she was good in bed, good at making me forget who I was when I needed to. Also, I liked how she smelled, like coconut. And when she tangled her legs with mine I didn’t shutter or pull away. Sometimes I even wrapped my arm around her, pulling her into me. Not because I needed her. But because her body felt good against mine.

“Aw baby really?” Zoe whines in an overtly soft voice, wrapping the blanket around her as she scoots up on the bed. Her plump bottom lip, swollen from the rough kissing earlier turns into a pout. I quickly avoid her gaze, my eyes landing right onto the floor looking for my pants. “I wanted to cuddle.” Figures.

“I know baby, me too,” a lie, she would never know that though. “Can’t keep my hands off you if I stay tho and I need some sleep.” I lie more, never looking at her. She buys it though, like she does every time. It’s not like I liked to lie, but I also didn’t like disappointing people. Especially girls that looked at me like that. It would kill her to know I texted three girls after Valerie didn’t answer, and the only reason I was here was because Zoe was the fastest to reply..

I leave Zoe like that, naked in bed, pleading with her eyes. Sometimes I felt bad, because I could tell she really liked me. But then I remembered how hard it is to be Paige Bueckers, and I didn’t feel so bad. My job was to be great on the court. Everything else was just background noise.

-

I sit by the court, my chest heaving, throwing my head back to down some water. The squeaking of sneakers echo all around me, blending in with the sound of Geno’s voice screaming at some of the girls working on plays. Coach had been killing us today, not happy with how the last game had went. We had still won, but that was merely a reason to celebrate in his eyes. 

All day I’d been missing shots that should’ve been child’s play for me. I couldn’t help but beat myself up. I was distracted, unfocused. I had been killing myself on the court, hoping it would bring me to my senses. Geno had been the one to tap me on the shoulder and force me to take a break I wipe the sweat off my face into the inside of my shirt, and grab my phone.

Bro are u alive?

I’m gettin worried lowkey

i’m fine paige

Five days. For five days Valerie hadn’t texted me back anything but that. I clench my jaw in frustration, shaking my head to myself. It made no sense to me - yeah we had a falling out but that’s what we did. We bickered and then we kissed and made up, and that’s what we had been doing for months so why was she acting like this now? Well… maybe calling her a psycho bitch last week hadn’t been the best move on my part.

I don’t know why the things she did bothered me so much. When she didn’t laugh at my joke, when she didn’t answer my texts. I don’t know why I felt a constant nervousness swirl inside me when she was mad at me, I had no reason to care. I guess the pussy was just that good, it was tricking me into thinking I did.

“Va-le-r- oh that’s the girl from Ted’s!” KK slams her hands on my shoulders, coming up from behind me, peeping at my phone screen. In a panic, I lock my phone, hiding it from her view.

“Bro, you heard of privacy?” I complain, shoving her playfully as she sits next to me on the ground. KK snickers, her nose scrunching a little as she does. 

“Not since you started peeing with the door open,” the shorter girl next to me argues and I scoff loudly, my mouth wide open.

“One time! And I was drunk!!” I groan, my voice rising a little and eyes going wide. CD quickly turns around and shushes us, shaking her head. Me and KK quickly shut our mouths, my cheeks turning a little red from the scolding.

KK looks at me with raised brows, and then at the phone, and then at me again. Most of the team knew how I kept myself busy when I wasn’t training, but KK was the one who had joined me those countless times at Ted’s and sat with me at the corner table as I watched her. Valerie. There was something so intriguing about her I just had to keep coming back. I always thought once I’d get her to my bed and have my way with her, I’d be done with her, which is how it usually goes. Before I realised that one time turned into five, which turned into me being in her bed getting her right, not even caring about my own most of the time. Getting her off got me off. Just thinking about the way she looked when she came, the way her back arched, her perfect mouth fell open - I really had to stop thinking about her. Why was it so goddamn hard?

It won’t be hard to find another Valerie if she’s gonna keep this difficult act up.

“Girl trouble?” KK asks, her tone more genuine and I roll my eyes, looking at her sideways.

“Yea right,” I chuckle sarcastically, leaning my elbows to my knees. “Just need to find a new one is all.”

KK lets out a small laugh, sipping her water bottle. “The five you got not enough?” She jokes.

I smirk a little glancing at her. “Four,” I correct, as if that made it better somehow. “Just need someone… new,” I mumble, knowing it was the best bet to get my mind off Valerie. I’m sure eventually I’d find someone who was just as hot. Someone who also smelled like coconut.

“Then what do I say to Zoe.”

“Wh- Zoe?” 

KK nods and grins at me. “She texted me asking about your shoe size or sum, wanted to get a gift for you.”

“She- she what?” My voice is full of shock and I can feel the claustrophobic tightness quickly grow inside me. I had never given her KK’s number. She was doing too much. KK just nods, clearly finding the situation amusing.

“Bro…” I groan quietly, as to not piss off CD again, and lean my head forward, resting my forehead against my arms. Zoe clearly hadn’t understood what “just fucking around” meant. Sometimes shit slipped out of my mouth, sure, but I never let her think I liked her. I had to be careful with her.

KK kisses the her teeth and is still nodding. “Yeah… probably time to let her go huh?”

“That bitch is crazy I swear,” I murmur and KK laughs out loud again. I punch her arm, reminding her to keep quiet - an impossible task for KK. Before I can stop myself, the words just slip from my mouth.

“Ted’s tonight?” 

KK looks at me pointedly. “Valerie workin’?” she teases but I shake my head sternly.

“No man, fuck Valerie.” The words tasted bitter in my mouth. “Just need to find a new one, k?”

“You sure you’re not just gon’ ogle at her all ni-”

“KK.” I say sternly

KK nods. “Ok,” she repeats but I can tell from her tone she doesn’t buy it. She shuts up though knowing she could tease me about anything but anything about Valerie got under my skin. Truth was Valerie was working today. I just needed to see her just for a second. Just to know if I was overthinking it, or if she was really icing me out.

-

The Friday night had brought many other students to Ted’s as well, the bar pretty packed and the chatter loud over the music. KK had convinced Ice to join us so the three of us made our way in. The best thing about crowds was it made it easy to blend in, even for us. We push our way through to the bar, my eyes immediately searching for a glimpse of Valerie’s golden brown hair or her wide eyes. All I needed was to see her, I told myself. Even for a second. Then the twist in my stomach would straighten out.

“What can I get you?” The perky voice of the redhead asks over the buzzing crowd. I think her name was Natalie or something. Ice looks over the flyers on the bar, advertising a range of new drinks.

“Let’s try some of these,” Ice suggests and I grab the flyer from her hand. I didn’t really come here to drink so I couldn’t have cared less what we ordered. Especially now I realised Valerie wasn’t even here.

“Uhh yea can we get three Aperol Negronis,”

“You won’t like it,” a stern, but sweet voice interrupts the conversation. I’d recognise that voice anywhere.

Valerie steps out from the back, pinning her hair away from her face and for a moment our gazes meet. Her dark, wide eyes make me let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. For a moment I want to jump over the bar and touch her, to make sure she was really there and not just a mirage of my desires.

“W-why not?” I ask, my voice uncharacteristically shaky. Only with her I got like that. Suddenly my throat felt dry and the nervous twist in my stomach was turning into something you could only call butterflies. Of course I knew it couldn’t be butterflies, because that would mean I cared. I couldn’t afford to care. I didn’t have the time for distractions. I had a national championship to win.

Valerie scoffs looking away from me, ignoring me as I chase her gaze. “Because I know you won’t,” she says. The way she thought she knew me that well irked me. Still, I’d be lying if I said a part of me wasn’t beaming at the fact that I had her attention after a week of trying to chase her down.

I can’t help the pout that forms in defiance. She’s still ignoring me, pouring drinks for a group of boys clearly ogling at her - which only irked me more.

“Well… I want three of them,” I say matter of factly, trying to prove a point.

“Whoa Paige, maybe we should just get a shirl-” Ice chuckles but I shake my head.

“Three Aperol Negronis,” I dictate. Valerie’s stern eyes finally look at me. She looks almost a little scary, not pleased with my tone. “... please.” I add urgently, not wanting to get on her bad side. I guess some would say I already had.

Wordlessly, Valerie rolls her wide eyes and gets to mixing the drinks. I allow my eyes to wander for a moment, noticing how the white shirt of the work uniform hugged her body, the curve of her breasts making my mouth water. Just seeing her was enough to ignite the fire deep in my abdomen. The things I would do to leave with her tonight and take her to my bed, like I had so many times before. I would even settle for just some kissing. Just wanted to let my hands wander down her body, squeeze and feel where I wanted, with no urgency. I needed to feel all of her, wanted to drown in her.

“By card orrr…?” Valerie asks, clearly waiting for the payment. My eyes had gone glassy, and my lower lip had a small dent from the way I’d been biting down on it. I blink stupidly at her, struggling to calm myself down.

“I got it,” KK murmurs and slides her card to Valerie. I grab my drink, and the smell is enough to make my face scrunch up in disgust. I swear it smells like battery acid, and as I take a sip I notice - it also tastes like battery acid. I swallow the orange liquor, it burns on its way down making me cough a little. Valerie was watching me amused. I hated when she was right.

“People actually drink this and like it??” Ice asks, her voice hoarse from coughing as well. KK nods agreeing but I’m too stubborn to admit defeat.

“I actually like it,” I lie with a straight face, my fingers twitching around the glass as I try to get over the bitter aftertaste in my mouth.

“Oh right,” Valerie says, flicking her hair over her shoulder as she turns to another group of customers. I can’t help reach over the bar, my hand grabbing her arm. She turns back to face me, icier than I had ever seen. It shocks me enough that I let go of her, taken aback.

“What?” she asks, her voice filled with annoyance.

“You seen my texts?” is all I ask, and it comes out a little too desperate for my liking.

“Yes,” Valerie says matter of factly. I wait for her to continue but she doesn’t.

“Uh… well thought we’d link up or something,” I add, shifting on my feet as I do.

Valerie sighs in frustration and takes a deep breath to compose herself.

“I’m good,” is all she says and flashes me an ice cold smile. I feel a strange pang in my heart. She had iced me out before, but not like this. Usually seeing her face to face was enough for her to forget our petty little arguments, enough to get her on me again. “I have work,” she adds before finally returning to serve the other customers.

I stand there for a moment, astonished. An uncomfortable ache that had been wavering in my chest was growing too intense for me to ignore anymore. Maybe it was all my fault after all. I had told her I wouldn’t sleep with anyone else and in the moment I had meant it. But then I remembered the stakes. Last year to win a national championship, last year to prove my greatness. I wasn’t going to mess it up just because of some girl. A relationship would be nothing more than a distraction, an unnecessary responsibility. I had enough on my plate. Valerie was selfish for wanting me all to herself. She didn’t understand what she was asking for. Maybe calling her a psycho bitch wasn’t so far off.

I feel someone bump into my back and turn around to find a girl, cheeks blushed and apologetic. I see her eyes widen in recognition - it was always that moment when I knew I could have this girl if I wanted. 

“Oh fuck, I’m so sorry, I’m a little drunk,” the girl giggles and I offer her an easy smile. I consider taking this girl home, imagining the way I’d lure her into my bed, just a little bit of sweet talk and a smirk would be enough, a hand on her waist, thumb rubbing her skin and soon she’d get this look on her face like she had to have me. It would be so easy, and I wouldn’t have to think about Valerie at all.

But the pain in my chest doesn’t go away, even when I let my mind wander further, how this girl would look underneath me, whimpering while I fuck her. It did nothing to make the pain go away.

“‘S fine,” i murmur and decide to ignore the way she was blinking at me, biting her bottom lip. I grab my drink from the bar, and push past her, finding KK and Ice sitting at our usual table. They both look at me, but don’t ask where I’d been. They both knew better. I sip my drink, cursing to myself in my head about ordering it. With sheer stubbornness I finish it quickly, finding that easier than taking small sips. 

“You’re never picking what we drink again,” KK scoffs, copying me, her face scrunching involuntarily when she finishes her drink. But I barely register her words, as I lean back in the chair, head tilting back to watch Valerie.

She’s giggling with Natalie, throwing her head back in amusement. The chatter in the bar is deafening, but I swear I could hear her laugh in my head vividly. Like my brain had memorised each tone of her voice. There was something different about Valerie, she always shined the brightest in every room she was in. Even the dingy bar was lit up by her. She wasn’t even necessarily extremely lively. It was her mere presence that just made everything better. 

I noticed it the first time I ever saw her, early september. All she did was walk past me on campus, talking lively into her phone. It was her voice I had heard before even seeing what she looked like. Her voice had been enough to make me have to see her. Of course she hadn’t even looked my way, not even a glance. That was the moment I knew I had to have her.

“You enjoy it?” Valerie asks KK and Ice, fully ignoring me as she walks to our table to clean up. I watch the golden bracelet she always wore dangling on her wrist as she grabs the empty glasses. I lean back and tilt my head to look up at her, needy for her attention. Licking my lips I look her up and down, that usually worked enough to get her naked. But now, she didn’t even glance at me. Annoyance grew within me as she chatted with KK, laughing at her jokes.

It was then when my eyes moved from her lips to her neck that I saw it - a dark bruise underneath her ear, right on the spot where she liked to be kissed. I knew, because I had left many bruises there and gotten scolded for it. But this wasn’t mine. This was someone else’s.

“Okay well see ya around,” Valerie smiles and turns to take the glasses to the back. I feel the pang in my chest quickly flip, turning into anger. I was furious. Who did she think she was? Sleeping around with someone else, not answering my texts, letting someone else mark her like that. I felt my body turn hot, and without a word to KK and Ice I get up from my seat, nearly knocking it over as I take quick strides to reach Valerie, following her into the back, ignoring the STAFF ONLY sign on the door.

My steps are heavy and loud as I reach her, standing by the sink, handling the dirty glasses. I was shaking my head to myself, trying to control my anger. But it was getting the best of me.

“Staff only plea-” Valerie starts and turns to me, unable to miss the redness of my face, the clenched jaw and the way I was biting on the insides of my cheeks. “Paige?” she asks, furrowing her brows, confused.

The pounding in my head grows and I let out a scoff, not feeling in control of myself. My brain was moving faster than I could follow, I felt lightheaded. I felt furious. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I ask, my voice loud. I didn’t really care about being overheard.

“Huh?” Valerie asks, clearly bewildered, but already getting defensive in response to how I was acting.

“What, you don’t text me, call me or nothing? Because you’ve been too busy fucking some other bitch?” I yell, my hand pointing to her neck. Valerie’s eyes widen in realisation but quickly turn angry too. 

“I- WHAT?” She yells back and takes a step towards me.

“Don’t play dumb. So who is it?” I say sternly, grinning bitterly at her, my eyes looking down at her.

She scoffs and rolls her eyes shaking her head which only infuriates me more.

“I said. Who. Is. It?” I repeat, grabbing her arm. She pushes my hand off her, anger growing on her face as her brows furrowed further.

“How is it any of your business who I sleep with Paige?” She argues.

She had a point. We weren’t exclusive. Matter of fact it was pretty hypocritical of me to be so angry when I had a roster of girls on my phone, ready to answer my calls at any time of day. My anger had taken over though, and the little sense I had when it came to Valerie, was completely gone.

I throw my head back and chuckle bitterly, provoking her further. “See I knew you’re a lotta things but didn’t know you were a slut too,” I hiss, the words slipping out without much thought. I couldn’t think of anything but how furious I felt.

Valerie laughs loud, but it’s not the sweet laugh I was used to. It was a bitter, angry laugh.

“Me?! You’ve slept with every girl that swings your way on campus and even some that don’t! You’re the slut Paige!” she screams, her wide eyes burning with anger, her finger coming up to point at my face. It pissed me off, the way it was assigning blame, like all of this was my fault. Like it wasn’t she who slept with someone.

“I don’t owe you anything!” she declares, her voice revealing a hint of hurt, the way it cracked slightly. “I’m done with you. I’m serious Paige. Done,” she adds, her voice calmer, but more authoritative. “Now get out of my bar.”

My face was hot and red, my chest was heaving and my head spun. The hurt in her voice made me waver, made my chest ache more. I blink at her stupidly as she turns back to the dishes, already missing having her attention. I was fine with the yelling, the fighting, as long as it meant she was looking at me, or talking to me. But now she’s done with me? Fine, so was I. Wouldn’t take me longer than a day to find a new Valerie.

“Pshh whatever,” I murmur and storm out of the back, heading fast towards the exit. I felt like I couldn’t breathe, my chest felt tight and I could taste the bitter Aperol on my tongue still. It made me nauseous,

I’m gasping for air once I feel the chilly breeze of february hitting my skin. The silence outside was overwhelming, forcing me to realise the rapid pace of my own thoughts. My mind was swirling with flashing images of Valerie, on top of someone, looking down at her like she did at me, the idea of her moaning someone else’s name made me sick.

“Fuck!” I shout, unable to control myself. A group of girls near me turn to look at me but return to their conversation when I sit myself down on the curb. What a standard I was setting for student athletes everywhere right now.

My eyes burn and before I notice, a tear rolls down my cheek. I bury my face into my hands and rub my jaw, my anger easing with each exhale. I didn’t know why I was crying, I didn’t understand any of this. I couldn’t believe the things I had said, the way I had acted. I was supposed to be disciplined, in control, but I felt so out of control when it came to Valerie.

“Paigey…” KK murmurs and suddenly I realise her and Ice are standing in front of me, looking down at me sympathetically. Embarrassed, I wipe the tears away and try to steady my breathing.

“Uhh sorry just gimme a sec guys,” I sigh looking at the ground. They sit on either side of me, wrapping their arms around me. I lean into Ice’s shoulder and I’m grateful how they don’t pry, or talk. We just sit there in silence for a while.

I take a deep sigh and lift my head back up, chewing on my bottom lip. I glance at both of the girls sitting next to me, grateful for the friends I had. At least I got one thing right.

“I dunno what just happened,” I sigh, shaking my head thinking back to my behaviour. The shame I felt made my cheeks turn a shade of red.

KK chuckles softly and ruffles my hair affectionately. “I do,” she mumbles.

I furrow my brows and turn to look at her. She looks back at me like whatever was about to come out of her mouth was obvious. KK and Ice glance at each other before KK opens her mouth to speak.

“Bro you have feelings for her.”

Oh?

Oh.

My mouth parts in realisation as I move my gaze from KK to the pavement. It’s just us now, sitting in silence, the sounds of passing cars and the muted sounds of the bar the only noise in the chilly evening.

“C’mon P boogers, let’s go home,” Ice says, standing up and reaching a hand down to lift me up. 

KK hops up and nods. “You need some Tru Fru,” she adds.

With a nod, I let them pull me up, following them to the car. I had feelings for Valerie. Shit. I'd just have to find a way to get over it - I couldn’t afford all this. Not right now. Not with the world watching, waiting for me to fail. Not with a national championship on the line.

-

taglist: @thaatdigitaldiary @wbbismypassion69 @bueckersfive @onlyhereforpazzi @lovegalor333 @mandyvivic @frankoceanlvr303039 @angryflowerwitch @taylynbueckers44 @mamixdanni @rosemariiaa @d3arapril @darkskinchristiandiorpostergirl @vbueckers @sageworld @makethemhoesmad @sierrale8ne @tndaqlifwy @justliketoreadsowhat

NEXT ONE WILL BE HOTTER I PROMISE

[nightside-of-siberia]

Emo!Wanda seeing the way the Avengers are a family of (shitty/toxic) sorts, and wanting in, even if it means shaving off all her sharp edges and toning all the worst parts of herself down so she can fit in/be accepted by them.

Emo!Wanda slowly losing herself as she begins to absorb all the, 'powerful/smart/confident woman bad, submissive/quiet/obedient woman good' rhetoric, finally gives in to . . . just letting other people make all the decisions, even if it means going against what she wants/knows is best for her, 'cause letting other people call the shots means she gets to stay, gets to be a part of something, gets to have some sort of community in a way she's never really experienced before, but so desperately craves.

Emo!Wanda finally stopping after years of running and fighting and fleeing and thinking, only to suddenly have to actually stop and deal with everything, except she doesn't know how, and there's no one here to help her, to offer her company and understanding and reassurance that everything's going to be okay, so, instead she drowns in it all, becomes consumed by it all.

Emo!Wanda becoming someone she doesn't recognise, 'cause she just wants to fight in, but doesn't know how to make it work without softening her edges and denying her darkness and pushing away all the big emotions until there's nothing left to do but face and embrace them.

Emo!Wanda making peace with Vision's death, making peace with who she became, making peace with the fact that, even though she did her best, it all fell apart in the end anyway, so what good would it do to deny every part of herself if the bad things are just gonna happen anyway?

Emo!Wanda being different now - she's older and a whole lot more cynical now, and she wants to see the world burn, so by the gods is it going to.

Emo!Wanda returning to hurting and demanding and fighting, 'cause she knows what she wants a bit better now, and gods help you should you get in her way.

Emo!Wanda finally coming full circle when she finally let's all the most hopeful/child-like parts of herself go, finally gives in to being the villain if it means she can, without shame, pursue what it is she really wants - her family, but only a very, very specific version of her family that doesn't ask questions, and does as they're told (by her).

Emo!Wanda embracing it all at last, and wearing it with pride, 'cause by the gods has she spend enough time hiding - this is who she is, and you don't have to like it (that doesn't mean you get to share your opinion, though - keep that to yourself).

I 100 percent agree that Emo! Age of Ultron Wanda could match Agatha's and Rio's freak. We're talking about the Wanda that was utterly ruthless to the Avengers shamelessly messing with their minds and I cheered her on. I believe since joining the Avengers Wanda had just become watered down. Because I don't recall Wanda in Age of Ultron ever being afraid of her powers, she was wielding it like a master with confidence. I believe joining the dysfunctional Avengers who could never agree on anything was not a good calling for her.

[carmyberzattosjournal]

Therapy Files 1: Dead Enough to be Alive

Screenshot Credit: @neverscreens

Summary: Carmy is headed to his first therapy appointment and his girlfriend (who he calls Darling) tries to soothe him while he freaks out about it. (873 Words)

Warnings: Swearing, mention of vomit, passive suicidal thoughts, impending mental breakdown (no breakdown in this one), fem reader/generic lass who is a trauma surgeon, she/her pronouns.

Notes: Thank you for reading and sharing! Sideblog for social stuff: @m-z-shoroi. If you want to filter out the therapy posts, the tag is #cb therapy files.

Day 1

I almost threw up the day of therapy.

It's funny how al-anon meetings didn't fuck me up this bad. Being a no-face in a room full of faceless sufferers somehow made it easier to summon and examine the pain of Mikey dying, of cooking consuming every aspect of my being until all that was left was this chewed lump of mangled muscle and bone fighting for some form of continued existence. I could rip it from my chest, hold it in my hand, turn it in the light. Look at all the faces, the thin spots, the gouges, the dents. Half the people there weren’t listening to me at all, were lost in the turmoil of their own pain and suffering, of the loved ones that were too far away to reach or so unreachable that they were gone. I didn’t mind it.

Half the time, I just needed to hear what I had to say, anyway. Something about the words coming out of my mouth, as stuttered, incomplete, inadequate as they were; something about hearing my own voice say them to me, of my voice hitting my ears—that was the important part. I’ve been through hell and back, I understand clearer than anyone else that I’m the most powerful climber I know. I don’t need someone to grab my hand and pull me out of this mess; I just need someone to know that I’m here. I need someone to witness my existence, my pain, my misery. I just need someone to come looking for me if I go quiet for too long. Just a face over the edge of the cliff. They don’t need to say nothing. They just need to exist.

I’m just dead enough to be alive at all, and in a room full of ghosts, that’s an easier thing to reconcile than trying to explain that to a fucking therapist (who’ll probably put me on some sort of watch list after probing me with a thousand questions about whether or not I want to die, how I plan to do it, how much of my plan I’ve enacted). I shouldn’t be pissed. It’s their job. Fuck only knows how many times they’ve had their 3:00 not show up only to find out the next day that their 3:00 would never show up for anything again. But how else do I explain these brambles of mortality, this barbed wire anchored in my skin. I can’t escape death.

He owes me a brother.

He owes me some fucking answers.

 Darling's hand landed on my thigh. "Baby, you're going to crack your knees on the dashboard if you don't stop bouncing your leg like that."

And I'm fucking terrified of therapy.

"Why are you terrified, sweetheart?"

Shit, I said that aloud, didn't I? "I just... I don't know." I raked my hair back. "I don't know."

"It's a little too late to cancel the appointment now—"

"I know, I know, I know." I pressed the heels of my hands into my cheekbones. I know. I’m not saying I’m not going to go; I’m saying I’m terrified. Those are different things.

She squeezed my knee. "Breathe, pretty boy."

I heaved a breath.

"You're gonna be okay, baby.”

"What if I'm not?"

It took her a bit to answer. "Then we'll do what we can to make it okay."

She can’t make promises, but right about now I need some of those. Promise me I’ll be okay? Promise me it’s not as bad as it seems?

The car turned, then stopped. Her cold fingers curled around my wrist.

"Hey. Look at me, Bear?"

I dropped my hands, but I couldn't make myself look over. Don't know why; it probably would've calmed me down to see her pretty face, but my eyes stayed glued to the hood of the car parked in front of us, the icicles hanging in front of the grill. Teeth. Fuck, I was clenching my jaw again. Heat surged in my chest, crawled up into my neck, only this time, the panic didn’t come with it—my eyes just stung. I only felt a breakdown coming.

She interlocked her hand with mine, brought the back of it to her warm lips. Pressed a kiss to it, just to the side, behind my thumb. She returned it with a plum-pink lipstick print on it. Jagged, sharp, blurred edges, but distinctly hers.

"Do you think that'll help?" She whispered, carding through my curls, tucking them behind my ear.

I’m trying not to have a meltdown, baby girl, I’m useless.

She pulled my shirt collar down and planted another one on my sternum, just below where the neckline would be. It bloomed a wave of coolness in my chest. A comfortable cold. This wasn’t ice against my chest; ice is sharp, jagged, a frozen lightning bolt. The kiss was milder, softer. Diffuse.

She replaced my shirt, pecked my mouth. “How about that one?”

How about you give me another one after this fucking appointment, hm?

Tags: @jess248, @catharticconsolation, @persymons, @morgthemagpie, @glitch0o0, @nox-is-thename @forgechildofheph @leminjelly

[naomijoestar]

hello sweets! I have been reading your works for few weeks now and i must say they are amazing!! (you are so talented🥰) I know your request box is now closed and im sorry for putting more things on your plate.. 😨💕 BUT i hope if you could write some amazing headcanons about:

Bucci gang having a significant other who is/ has been clinging on to them because they have been missing their bucci member. 😭❤️

Maybe he’s/or she’s(trish👀) been busy because of work !! or they have just been too tired to spend some time with their significant other and just instantly going to bed after work. And after few days/or weeks.. later they finally start to show some signs of being neglected.. (for example: not letting them leave the bed for work). 😧💕

ANYWAYS SO SORRY FOR MAKING THIS SO LONG !! feel free to ignore my rambling 😅

Thank you for your time and effort love !! 🙏❤️

have a nice day or night!!

Masterlist here <3

Hello ml! This is such a cute request, now I wanted to admit that while reading your request I didn’t notice that you requested headcanons and wrote this as a scenario instead🥲 I really hope you don’t mind and if you do I will gladly re-write this for you!

Sorry for the late reply and I hope you enjoy this 💞

(Trish Una included!)

Bucci gang with their s/o clinging onto them because they miss them

Pannacotta Fugo

Fugo had been working late nights, diving headfirst into planning and strategy. It wasn’t intentional, but his sharp focus on his tasks left you feeling invisible. At first, you thought you could handle it, but after weeks of stolen moments and fleeting kisses, the weight of his absence became too much.

This morning, as he swung his legs over the bed to get ready, you reached out and grabbed his wrist. “Fugo, stay.”

He turned, startled by the tremor in your voice. “What’s wrong?” he asked, his brows knitting together in concern.

You swallowed hard, trying to keep your emotions in check. “I just miss you,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. “You’re always gone. Even when you’re here, you’re… not really here.”

Fugo froze, guilt washing over him in an instant. He’d been so absorbed in his responsibilities that he hadn’t realized how much he was neglecting you. He sat back down, pulling your hands into his. “I’m sorry,” he said softly, his voice unusually tender. “I didn’t mean to make you feel like this.”

You looked up at him, tears brimming in your eyes. “I just… I need you right now.”

Without hesitation, Fugo climbed back into bed, wrapping his arms tightly around you. “I’ll stay,” he murmured, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. “I’ve been a fool, but I’ll make it up to you. Today, I’m yours. Completely.”

You let out a soft, relieved sigh, burying your face in his chest. His heartbeat, steady and strong, was a comfort you’d been missing. For the rest of the day, Fugo didn’t touch a single work-related item, devoting every moment to showing you how deeply he cared.

Bruno Bucciarati

Bruno had always been devoted to his work, but lately, it felt like he was consumed by it. Late nights, endless meetings, and responsibilities left him coming home too exhausted to even share a proper conversation with you. He’d kiss your forehead, mumble an apology, and fall asleep almost instantly.

At first, you told yourself it was temporary, that things would calm down eventually. But as the days stretched into weeks, the loneliness began to weigh on you. This morning, when Bruno stirred to get out of bed, you instinctively reached for him, wrapping your arms around his waist.

“Stay,” you murmured, your voice soft but firm.

Bruno paused, his movements freezing. “Amore, I have—”

“No,” you interrupted, your face pressed against his back. “You don’t. Not today.”

The quiet in your voice struck a chord in him. He turned to look at you, his dark eyes filled with guilt as he took in the sight of your teary gaze and trembling lip. “You’ve been so busy,” you whispered, your hands clutching his shirt. “I know it’s important, but… I miss you, Bruno. I miss us.”

He exhaled deeply, guilt evident in every line of his face. Without a word, he slid back into bed, pulling you into his arms. “I’m so sorry, tesoro,” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. “I didn’t realize how much I was neglecting you. You’re the most important thing in my life, and I’ve been taking you for granted.”

You nuzzled into his chest, your fingers clutching his shirt like he might disappear again. “Don’t leave today,” you pleaded softly. “Just… stay with me.”

Bruno kissed the crown of your head, his lips lingering there as if to seal a promise. “I’m not going anywhere,” he whispered, cradling you close. “Today, I’m yours, completely. I’ll make this right—I swear.”

For the rest of the day, he didn’t even glance at his phone. He was fully present, holding you, listening to you, and reminding you with every kiss and tender word just how much you meant to him.

Giorno Giovanna

Giorno had always carried the weight of responsibility on his shoulders, but lately, it felt like he was drowning in it. Long hours at meetings, late nights poring over plans—it had all left him coming home too exhausted to notice the growing sadness in your eyes. You’d tried to be patient, understanding the importance of his work, but the ache of missing him only grew stronger.

This morning, as he sat on the edge of the bed, buttoning his shirt, you couldn’t hold it in anymore. Reaching out, you wrapped your arms around his waist from behind, resting your head on his back. “Giorno… don’t go today,” you said softly, your voice trembling.

He stilled, his hands falling to his lap. “Amore?” he asked, his tone gentle but confused. “What’s wrong?”

You hesitated, your grip tightening. “I miss you,” you admitted, your voice cracking as tears began to well up. “You’re always working, and I understand, but… I feel like I haven’t had you to myself in weeks.”

Giorno turned to face you, his golden hair catching the soft morning light. His emerald eyes widened as they met yours, glistening with unshed tears. He reached out, cupping your face in his hands. “Oh, my love,” he whispered, his voice full of regret. “I didn’t realize how much I’ve been neglecting you.”

You leaned into his touch, your tears slipping free. “I just… I need you. Even if it’s just for today.”

Giorno’s heart clenched, guilt washing over him. He kissed your forehead tenderly before pulling you into his lap. “You shouldn’t have to ask for my attention,” he said, his voice soft but firm. “I’ve been a fool, but I’ll make it right. I promise.”

He lay back down, holding you close as if letting you go would break him. “I’m yours today,” he murmured, his fingers gently brushing through your hair. “No meetings, no calls. Just us.”

For the rest of the day, Giorno stayed true to his word. He didn’t glance at a single document or answer a single call. Instead, he spent every moment with you—holding you, laughing with you, and reminding you just how deeply he loved you.

Leone Abbacchio

Leone had never been one to sugarcoat things. When work needed to be done, he threw himself into it with everything he had. But lately, it felt like his everything was all going to work, leaving you with scraps of his time and energy. At first, you’d tried to be understanding—it was just his way. But as the days turned into weeks of him coming home too tired to do anything but collapse into bed, the loneliness became harder to ignore.

This morning, as he swung his legs over the side of the bed to get ready, you grabbed his hand. “Don’t go,” you whispered, your voice barely audible.

Leone stopped, his brow furrowing as he glanced back at you. “What’s wrong?” he asked, his voice gruff but laced with concern.

You didn’t let go, your grip tightening. “I miss you,” you admitted, looking down at the sheets. “You’ve been so busy, and I feel like… like I don’t have you anymore.”

He sighed heavily, his shoulders slumping. “I’ve been a crap partner, haven’t I?” he muttered, more to himself than to you. He turned fully, taking in the tears brimming in your eyes. It hit him harder than he expected.

“I didn’t mean to make you feel this way,” he said, his voice softer now. “I just… I thought you understood.”

“I do,” you said quickly, your voice trembling. “But understanding doesn’t make it hurt less. I need you, Leone.”

Something in his chest cracked at the way you said his name. Without another word, he climbed back into bed, pulling you against him. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, his lips pressing gently to your forehead. “I’ve been too wrapped up in work, but I’ll make it right. I’ll stay.”

You blinked up at him, surprised. “You mean it?”

Leone smirked faintly, brushing a strand of hair from your face. “I’m not going anywhere today,” he promised. “You’ve been patient with me for too long. It’s my turn to give you what you need.”

For the rest of the day, he stayed true to his word. He held you close, kissed you like he hadn’t in weeks, and spent the day reminding you why he was worth missing in the first place.

Narancia Ghirga

Narancia was always full of energy, constantly running off on missions or getting caught up in one task or another. At first, you found his busy nature endearing, but as the days went by and he barely had time to sit down and talk to you, you started to feel the sting of his absence.

One morning, as he tried to slip out of bed to get ready for another mission, you reached out and grabbed his arm. “Narancia… don’t go,” you said softly, your voice cracking just enough to make him pause.

He turned to look at you, his eyes wide with surprise. “What’s wrong, babe?” he asked, kneeling back on the bed.

You sat up, clutching the sheets tightly. “I miss you,” you admitted, your gaze dropping to your lap. “You’re always running off somewhere, and I feel like I barely see you anymore.”

Narancia blinked, your words hitting him like a punch to the gut. “Oh no! no no,” he said quickly, scooting closer to you. “I didn’t realize you were feeling like this.”

You let out a shaky sigh. “I know your work is important, but… I just need you right now.”

Without hesitation, Narancia threw himself back into bed, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you down with him. “I’m not going anywhere,” he said, his voice firm. “Today, I’m all yours. Whatever you want to do, we’ll do it.”

You couldn’t help but smile at his determination. “Really?”

He grinned, pressing a kiss to your nose. “Really. I’ve been so stupid, haven’t I? I should’ve noticed you were feeling this way. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

For the rest of the day, Narancia didn’t leave your side. Whether it was lying in bed talking, cooking together in the kitchen, or dancing to music in the living room, he made sure you felt loved and cherished with every smile, laugh, and touch. By the end of the day, the ache of missing him was replaced by the warmth of knowing just how much he cared.

Guido Mista

Mista was always easygoing, but lately, his carefree nature had been replaced by exhaustion. Missions, meetings, and late nights had drained him so much that he barely had time for you. He’d stumble into bed, mutter a quick “Good night,” and be out like a light before you could even tell him how much you missed him.

This morning, as he got up to get ready, you decided enough was enough. You grabbed his hand and tugged him back onto the bed. “Guido, no,” you said firmly, wrapping your arms around his waist to keep him in place.

He blinked, caught off guard. “What’s this about, babe?” he asked with a half-laugh, though his voice softened when he saw the pout on your lips.

“You’re always leaving,” you said, your voice trembling slightly. “I know you’re busy, but I barely see you anymore. I miss you, Mista. A lot.”

His playful grin faltered, replaced by a look of guilt. “Ah, damn,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair. “I didn’t realize I was making you feel this way.”

You looked up at him, your eyes glossy. “I just… I need you here today. Please.”

Mista’s heart sank. Without another word, he kicked off his shoes and climbed back into bed, pulling you into his arms. “I’m sorry, babe,” he said, resting his chin on top of your head. “You’re right. I’ve been so caught up in everything else that I’ve been ignoring the most important person in my life.”

You buried your face in his chest, your fingers clutching at his shirt. “Just stay with me,” you whispered.

He tilted your chin up, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. “I’m not going anywhere,” he promised. “Today’s all about you. I don’t care if the boss himself calls me—I’m staying right here.”

For the rest of the day, Mista made sure to pamper you with all the love and attention you’d been missing. Whether it was cuddling under a blanket, sharing your favorite snacks, or laughing together over silly stories, he reminded you exactly why you’d fallen for him in the first place.

Trish Una

Trish had always been meticulous with her time—balancing her work, appearances, and responsibilities left little room for flexibility. Lately, though, it seemed like every spare second of hers was being devoured by her career. You understood how much she had on her plate, but the ache of her absence had begun to weigh heavily on you.

This morning, as she reached for her planner to prepare for another busy day, you grabbed her wrist gently. “Trish,” you murmured, your voice tinged with vulnerability. “Can you stay today?”

She turned to you, her perfectly lined eyes widening in surprise. “What do you mean?”

“I miss you,” you admitted, lowering your gaze. “You’ve been so busy, and I know it’s important, but I feel like I haven’t had you to myself in ages.”

Her expression softened immediately, her glossy lips parting as guilt flickered across her face. “I… didn’t realize it had been that bad,” she said, sitting back down on the edge of the bed. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

You bit your lip, shrugging slightly. “I didn’t want to make you feel bad. But… I just need you today. Just this once.”

Trish hesitated for only a moment before snapping her planner shut and tossing it onto the bedside table. “You’re right,” she said firmly. “I’ve been too wrapped up in everything else. That stops now.”

“Really?” you asked, looking up at her with wide eyes.

She cupped your face in her hands, her touch soft but certain. “Really,” she said, her voice filled with conviction. “Today is yours. Whatever you want—name it, and it’s yours. I’ll cancel everything.”

You couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face as she leaned in to press a tender kiss to your forehead. The rest of the day was pure bliss: long cuddles, indulgent meals, and quiet moments where she reminded you, again and again, that no amount of work would ever mean more to her than you did.

I hope you don’t mind me forgetting to make these headcanons, that was totally my fault and if you do mind you can always text me and tell me if you’d like me to make a hc version!

If you enjoyed this make sure to check out my other posts, and if you’d like anything specific written for a jjba character/squad you can request it if my requests are open!

[conundrumoftime]

'this monstrous St Michael'

I doubt the TROP writers and showrunners meant anything in particular by setting Halbrand up as St Michael the Archangel in this shot beyond "looks cool :)", but bear with me okay because I was talking to @wyrd-syster about Les Miserables recently and it reminded me of something.

So first of all the St Michael comparison is because St Michael is very commonly portrayed in art as a figure in armour, standing over a conquered Satan in the form of a dragon or serpent, holding a long lance. e.g. this is Raphael's Saint Michael Vanquishing Satan (1516):

TROP Sauron is really not St Michael (the closest in Tolkien would be Manwë or Eönwë I suppose; the Ainur don't really correlate directly to angels). But at this point he thinks he is, or at least thinks he should be.

Which is what brings me back to Les Miserables. Here's Javert:

Javert was at that moment in seventh heaven. Without being fully aware of it, yet with a confused intuition of his own indispensible status and of his success, he personified—he, Javert—justice, enlightenment, and truth in their heavenly function of crushing evil. He had behind him and around him, at infinite depth, authority, reason, precedent, the conscience of the law, the vengeance of the law, all the stars in the firmament; he protected order, he called forth the thunder of the law, he avenged society, he came to the aid of the absolute; he stood erect in a blaze of glory; there was in his victory a trace of defiance and of combat; standing tall, arrogant, resplendent, he displayed, out in the open, for all the world to see, the superhuman bestiality of a bloodthirsty archangel, the fearful shadow of the act he was performing made visible in his clenched fist with the dull flashing of the social sword; happy and outraged, he held crime, vice, revolt, perdition, hell, pinned beneath his heel; he shone, he exterminated, he smiled … and there was an incontestable grandeur in this monstrous Saint Michael. Javert, though horrifying, had nothing of the ignoble about him. Probity, sincerity, candor, conviction, a sense of duty, are things that, when they go wrong, can become hideous, but that, even hideous, remain grand; their majesty, peculiar to the human conscience, persists even in horror.

Overall I think Galadriel is more of a Javert figure in s1 of TROP than Sauron is; she's the one whose fixation on justice has become something so all-consuming it leaves no room for weakness or redemption. (Whether Sauron is in any sense repentant is a whole other question, but her answer to even the suggestion of it is isn't "you're lying" but to tell him it wouldn't matter anyway: "no penance could ever erase the evil you have done.") But this particular Javert moment is very much Sauron.

From Morgoth's Ring:

And Letters:

One of the things I don't like about the time compression in TROP is that it speeds up this gradual 'relapse' so much that it's hard to trace it as the development of the character, vs. a brief dalliance with the idea of Doing Good followed by a "fine then" tantrum, but! TROP Sauron is still very much informed by what Tolkien said about 2nd Age Sauron and his motives and I do love it for that.

and: I especially love, when Tolkien talks about Sauron's corruption by Morgoth, the idea that this was part of the corruption; that it wasn't just Morgoth running Evil Bootcamp, but that Morgoth flattered him and praised him and fed into his pride so much so that anything 'good' he believed he was doing was misdirected from the start, because Mairon the Admirable couldn't conceive of any good outcome or plans that didn't feature him as the most special perfect talented brilliant centre of everything.

[cassiewritessalot]

21

pairing: rafe cameron x fem!reader

summary: you went the whole day thinking of rafe and decided to call him at the end of the day, basically the next day, you never expected him to but an answered your call anyway.

warnings: arguing, vulgar language,mentions of sex, lmk if i missed anything! (not proof read)

cassie's notes: i searched everywhere to find rafe's birthday but i couldn't find one with a specific date so i used drew's birthday. i had the best idea listening to '21' by gracie abrams, i recommend listening to it while reading.. enjoy! with love always, cassie <3.

as your eyes fluttered lightly, waking you up from your sleep to get ready for your university classes. you grab your phone from your bedside table to check the time until your eyes fell onto the date.

4th November.. his birthday. you put your phone back on the dresser and look up at the ceiling, thinking about how you used to celebrate rafe's birthday with him.

you first woke up with a cake, singing to him and watching him make a wish, spending the day doing whatever he wanted if both you're schedules allowed you to and then, of course, a party.. and after too many intoxicating items the both of you consumed you'd end up at your apartment, every piece of clothing discarded on the floor, yours and his moans heard through out the night. as you're day dreaming slowly came to an end and you got out of your bed, you wondered if rafe was now spending the day with another woman like how you two used to.

as you got ready for the day, not bothering to put in effort. you slipped into your grey sweatpants and a black long sleeved shirt with a hoodie, leaving your hair down and little to no makeup.

during all your classes, you couldn't stop thinking about rafe, all your thoughts were of him, every hour, every minute. you thought about calling him all throughout the day but didn't want to embarrass yourself knowing there could be thousands of different out comes if you do call rafe, most of them being negative ones.

the day passes by in a blur and the next thing you know you're bak in your apartment looking through all the things you kept that either belonged to rafe or reminded you of rafe. you find a picture of you and rafe, it was a photobooth picture.

the first picture you had your arms around rafe's neck smiling at the camera while rafe was admiring you, not bothering to smile at the camera. the second picture you turned to look at rafe and smiled at each other with big grins. the last picture is you and rafe sharing a sweet passionate kiss. you smiled at the picture, realising how badly your heart was starting the yearn for the dirty blonde-haired boy.

hours passed by, you managed to complete tasks around the house as well as any schoolwork so that you're caught up with everything. when night fell upon the city, you laid awake in your bed, staring at the ceiling and, still, thinking of rafe. you reached for your phone and read the time, 11:43 p.m.

'what if i just called him?' you thought to yourself not realising you were already searching for his contact in your phone. once you phoned his contact, you inhaled and exhaled a few times to prepare yourself for what you're about to do, before you knew it, you pressed the call button.

'he won't answer, he won't answer, he won't answer..' you repeated to yourself over and over again and after the third ring you were about to end the call until you heard the sound of the call being accepted and you felt your heart go to your stomach.

"y/n?', you heard rafe's voice, you could hear the sound of faint music in the back, sounding very muffled.

"rafe, hey.. uh- happy 21st.", i wish him, wondering if he can hear my anxiety through the phone.

"thank you.. i appreciate it.", he thanks and i mumble a 'your welcome' and just before i end the call i hear his voice loud and clear.

"you know, i was kinda to see a text or something from you all day.", he admits with a slight chuckle, his words bringing a faint smile to my face.

"i wanted to reach out so many times, trust me, i just didn't want to embarrass myself, you know?', i explain to the boy and he lets out a little 'mhm' in response.

'uh- how was your day? shouldn't you being having a party right now?", i asked the boy.

"honestly, kinda lame compared to all the years we spent it together, but i am at my party- or was. i ran to my car the second i saw your name pop up on my phone.", rafe explains again and i feel my smile growing.

"i miss you so much y/n.", he speaks again and i sit up, leaning against my head board, processing his words.

"i miss you more rafe.. more than you would ever know. everything reminds me of you- of us.", i express my feelings to the boy.

"i need to see you y/n, where are you?", he asks me and i can hear his car starting, ready to drive wherever i am.

"my apartment- the same address as always.", i reply and rafe lets out a little 'okay' in response. we stay on the phone with each other as he drives to my place and catch up with one another over what's happened in the year we've been separated.

after about 20 minutes of us talking, and rafe driving, he tells me he's outside the door to my apartment and i end the phone call going to the door to unlock it for rafe. as soon as i open the door we greet each other and i invite rafe inside.

i quickly lock the door and turn around to see rafe walking and looking around my apartment.

"i like what you did with your place, it's different- a good different.", he turns back to look at me with a smile and i return the smile.

"yeah- i needed a change.", i look around my apartment with rafe before noticing his eyes fall to a specific wall in my room dedicated to pictures of my friends and myself. there was a specific picture of rafe and i- the photobooth picture from this afternoon.

"you still have that?", he asks me with a smile, i nod my head in reply and as he looks at the picture, my face turns to him and i admire his features. he didn't change much, still had his buzz cut, and those gorgeous blue eyes that you could always get lost in. while you were admiring your ex-boyfriend, you didn't notice him looking back at you with the same amount of admiration until you heard his voice.

"i really missed you, y/n.", he repeats what he said earlier on the phone call.

"i really missed you too, rafe.", i tell him and feel my eyes fill with tears while looking up at him.

"hey- what's the matter, huh?", he asks and steps closer to me wrapping his arms around me, placing his chin on my head. i wrap my arms around his waist and attempt to keep the tears inside of my eyes.

"i don't know.. i just really miss being with you- being yours.", i explain to the boy and feel his old on my body get tighter.

"i miss that too y/n/n, so much. the things i'd do for you to be mine again.", he mumbles the last part before leaning down slightly to kiss my head. i slowly lift my gaze from the floor to his face.

"you'd willingly want to be with me again?", i ask the boy with a faint smile on my face.

"always- i feel like i'm required to have a second chance with you as i've learned from my past mistakes and am now a better man for you. if you don't want that i completely understand.", rafe says as he locks his eyes with mine with a smirk on his face.

i don't say anything, i close my eyes and place my lips on his- the kiss is filled with love and passion. it's not rough- it's slow and sensual. i slowly pull away.

"i never stopped being yours rafe..", i say in a voice above a whisper before placing my lips back on rafe's, feeling the both of us smile into the kiss.

"'missed these sweet lips..", he mumbles softly and wraps his arms under my thighs, making me jump and wrap my legs around his waist and he walks towards my bed, placing me down on my back and leaning down between my legs.

"show me how much you missed me, rafey.."

[ladygojooo]

The shadows stain the snow (but darling, I want you anyway)

Synopsis: Betrayal, duty, and death - these were the only things the world of jujutsu had ever given you for all that you toiled. A twin of one of the fallen, you left it all behind in the hopes of carving out a small bit of uneasy paradise for yourself.

You should have known it never was going to work.

Pairing: Satoru Gojo x reader

WC: 1.8k

Content: light angst, marriage proposal, marriage of convenience, soft!Gojo, fluffy ending, pre-Shibuya arc

A/N: raaaaah, I was so tired of having this in my drafts, and though I think it's utter trash, maybe one of y'all will like it, lol. Satoru Gojo, my beloved, the man that you are <3

There was white everywhere you looked.

Seven years after you left, and you still couldn’t think of anything but him when you saw the stupid color. At least the sky was covered in clouds today. Sure, it made you feel boxed in, but it certainly wasn’t blue.

You shut off the ignition in your car, not giving yourself time to prepare for the bitterly cold air that you’d step out into. If Japan hadn’t accustomed you to its winter lows, then the Yukon Territory certainly did the trick.

As you stepped out of the car, you watched with faint amusement as your exhales wafted up and away into the air around you. It was the one thing that brought you a bit of joy during the winter season - always reminded you of incense, for some reason.

The warmth of your home hit you all at once, and you couldn’t help the sigh that left your body as you unbuttoned your jacket and hung it up on the coat rack right beside the door. You could hear the ham and potato soup you’d frozen calling your name, and as soon as you shucked all our outerwear, it would be a matter of minutes before you could consume it. It was truly one of the best Western recipes you’d found while in Canada.

You walked into the kitchen and opened the freezer, humming with glee when you saw the frozen soup sitting near the front. So focused were you on pulling out a pot and opening the container that you failed to notice the 6’3” man in black sitting at your kitchen table.

“You have enough for me?”

Over the rush of your heartbeat, you didn’t even realize that you’d thrown a knife from the countertop until you saw it floating a few inches out from his heart.

Gojo laughed. “Oh come on, is that any way to greet an old friend? I’m starving after all this travelling!”

You had two options at this point. 

One - you hadn’t seen Gojo in ten years. You could laugh with him like no time had passed, get out a bigger pot and some more soup, and catch up over dinner.

Two - you could take all the hurt, anger, and fear you were experiencing at that very moment and put it to good use. Maybe you’d even be able to turn him out of your house. Freezing to death would do him some good.

You chose the second option.

“What are you doing here, Gojo?” You hissed, not turning back to the stovetop quite yet. You didn’t trust him not to get up in your business and try to steal some food.

“I’m here for a nice, homemade meal,” he grinned, grabbing the knife, kicking his feet up onto your kitchen table, and lifting his hands up to rest on the back of his head.

You threw a spoon on the countertop at him for doing so, uncaring that his infinity would keep it from reaching him. “I’m insulted that you think I’m that stupid. This isn’t some wellness check.”

Gojo sighed and settled into the chair some more as the spoon clanged to the floor, dragging out each second just because he could.

“We need you to come back,” he said. “We’re in need of more sorcerers, and you’re a special grade.”

You were already shaking your head as you answered, “Absolutely not. I’m retired.”

“You ran away.” The subtle accusation screamed loudly, even as you shrugged your shoulders.

“Semantics.” You waved it away with the bigger pot that you retrieved from under the counter. “Besides, what does it matter? Not once was I needed for missions. Surely the higher ups would have sent out a search party to bring me back if they really needed me.”

“And just who do you think kept the higher ups off your back?”

And oh, how the temperature dropped, even if his voice remained chipper. Your hand froze where it was about to turn on the gas.

“You knew where I was this whole time?” You whispered, voice shaky.

In lieu of an answer, the chair Gojo sat on skid across the floor, protesting the movement. His footsteps moved closer to you, each one sending your heartbeat skittering faster. You didn’t remember shutting your eyes.

“Look at me,” he murmured from right behind you.

You shook your head. “No.”

“Look at me,” he repeated, grabbing your shoulders and turning you around. Still, your eyes didn’t open.

“Gojo, you can’t-”

“Why did you leave?”

His insistent tone had you opening your eyes, only to find the bandana gone and cerulean blue staring back at you. Your heart, despite all the dates and failed relationships you’d had between then and now, fluttered just like it did back in high school. 

He was there, for the first time in a decade, he was there with you. You’d forgotten just how much you craved his attention, his presence, his very being until now.

You wouldn’t have the strength to leave a second time.

“Because my brother didn’t have the answers either.”

You felt him still, and for the briefest of moments, you thought the last thing you’d see would be a blinding purple. Hell hath no fury like a Gojo scorned, after all. You learned that shortly after the Sorcerer Killer’s death, when Suguru told you of the sheer power that Satoru unlocked.

“You know,” you whispered, eyes flitting down to the buttons on his shirt, “why I couldn’t have stayed.”

Gojo hummed. “You could have.”

“And where would that have left me, hm? Stuck between dangerous mission after dangerous mission or fearing when the higher ups would give me a fatal mission to finish me off? That’s not a life for anyone, never mind me.”

“And you don’t think I would have protected you?” He asked, the back of his knuckles brushing lightly over your cheek. Your breath stuttered, even as your eyes widened in disbelief.

“Gojo, we were barely adults! Between everything else going on, you couldn’t have shouldered my burdens.”

He chuckled. “You don’t think I’m strong enough, do you?”

You rolled your eyes and glossed over the parting words your brother left him with. “Satoru Gojo, I know your strength firsthand from our days in school, and I assume you’ve only improved since then. Don’t put words in my mouth.”

He smiled warmly at your free admission and let his thumb brush over your cheek. “Come back with me to train the next generation of sorcerers, and I promise you’ll be safe.”

“Have you not listened to anything I’ve said?” You moved your head back the slightest bit. It certainly wouldn’t surprise you if Gojo let your arguments for staying away go in one ear and out the other. 

The white haired man shook his head. “I’ve listened to everything you’ve said since stepping foot in the house. I just have solutions to each and every one of your protests.”

You moved to push him away, but with his infinity up, he still stood there, mere inches away. It was having an annoyingly dizzy effect on you, if you were being honest. It pissed you off.

“Oh, really? Pray tell, o wise one, how are you going to keep the higher ups from retaliating or marrying me off to some creep who only wants me for my technique?”

“By marrying me, of course.”

You sent him the most deadpan look you’ve ever conjured in your life, hoping that he wouldn’t catch the genuine shock that ran through your body. “That is the worst plan you’ve ever come up with. Absolutely not.”

He whined around the smile on his face. “It’s not! Think about it - you get protection from the higher ups through me, I get to bring you back to train the students, and based on how long it’s socially acceptable to wait to have children once married, we can work out a plan for divorce in plenty of time. After that, you can come right back here and live out your days in lonely solitude.”

“No, Gojo. I’m not coming back, what’s not clicking here?” You groaned in frustration, throwing your head back - anything to get away from his puppy eyes.

“One of the first years is Sukuna’s vessel.”

Your head whipped down to meet his gaze, eyes wide once again. “You’re kidding.”

“Nope!” Gojo chuckled. “Pretty great kid too. You’ll love him.”

The entire conversation was giving you whiplash to the extreme. Gojo showing up out of the blue, wanting you back at the school, offering to marry you to keep you from the higher ups, and now Sukuna, the feared King of Curses himself, was alive and trapped in an innocent boy.

The man really knew how to sweep you off your feet, you’d give him that much.

“Satoru, why do you really want me back?”

His lips slowly fell from a smile, and he backed away to look out the window to your right. Silence curled around you both, growing more suffocating by the second.

“Something big is coming,” he spoke lowly. “I don’t know what it is, but something tells me that it’s time to get my affairs in order. I-” He cut himself off with a harsh sigh and turned back to you once more. “I have my regrets, sure, but I don’t want you - not being with you - to be one of them.”

Your body moved of its own accord, letting an arm slip through his before resting your head against him. You breathed him in, sandalwood and bergamot and him in the best way possible. The fabric of his shirt brushed against your lips as you spoke.

“Can you really love me after all that’s happened? All this time?”

You missed the tender smile on his face. “I never stopped.”

Your breath shuddered as you buried yourself in his chest. After the betrayal from your brother, Satoru being ordered to kill him, the brutal argument you two had in Shoko’s morgue, all of it - you ran away to be free of the memories, the love strangling you every way you turned. You ran away because how could Satoru see you without seeing his best friend in your face? How could you face yourself in the mirror when all you saw was Suguru staring right back at you? How could anyone at Jujutsu High stand to be near you when all you were was a walking failure?

“And you’re sure you want me?”

“Well, it was either you or Utahime, so.”

You groaned and let your head drop to Gojo’s shoulder, slapping his arm a few times. “I hate you with a burning passion.”

“That’s the spirit!” He cheered, rubbing a hand up and down your back.

“You owe me so much kikufuku.”

“I’ll buy it all for you.”

“Satoru?”

“Yeah?”

“This honeymoon better be at the beach.”

“Done.”

[thevoidstaredback]

The day was finally there. It was finally happening. Phase two of the best prank the Wayne Family and friends had ever pulled off was finally coming to its peak! If all went well, then they'd only have one more thing to do.

As long as the heroes approached them about it. They'd all placed bets on whether they'd actually get away with trying to pull one over on the Justice League or not. It was pretty evenly split.

It's the morning of and there are exactly ten hours before Wayne Manor is consumed with fast paced staff and last minute everythings. Eleven hours before the guests begin to arrive.

06:00

It was an early day for everyone, but Gala Days are always like that. Patrol had been cut short for Damian, Tim, Steph, and Cass, so they, along with Duke, were the only ones who were working on longer than four hours of sleep.

It wasn't all that bad, though. They're vigilantes. If they were thrown off kilter for getting less than a few hours of sleep, then they'd've been exposed before Jason stole the wheels off the Batmobile.

Either way, Alfred had everyone up for a nice, but simple, breakfast before they got on with their days.

He'd made eggs, sausage, bacon, beans, toast, fried tomatoes, and mushrooms, though Damian and Steph were given coconut bacon, eggplant, and applesauce instead of bacon, sausage, and egg. Everyone got their preferred drink of coffee, orange juice, or milk.

Out of everyone, aside from Alfred, Duke was the most awake, but that was because he had to go on patrol soon. Damian would join him about midday, just after lunch.

Duke was relieved to be out all day. He didn't want anything to do with all the last minute preparations that would be going on, no thank you, sir. It would all be worth it in the end, but he'd rather not be stressed to the heavens while trying to prank some of the best heroes in the world.

Why did Bruce think this was a good idea?

Why did they all go along with it?

Oh, that's right, it's because they're all crazy.

It's gonna be so much fun, though, so he's not complaining too much. Everyone can be stressed out here in the Manor, but he's going to be stressed about other things on patrol.

07:00

After breakfast was cleaned up and Duke had left for patrol, the rest of the Wayne Family set about reviewing everything they'd done to prepare, including going over exactly what their hired security had been doing since they were asked to work the event.

This fell to Barbra. Which is total bullshit because she has a dayjob and she doesn't live in Wayne Manor. And, no matter how much Bruce insists, she's not his child, so she shouldn't have to be stressed over this like they are!

She hadn't spent the night at the Manor, but Dick was keeping her updated on what was going on at the Manor. She kinda wishes she'd gotten some of Alfred's food before going to work, but a bowl of cereal and some toast was better than nothing.

She hated early morning shifts, but she'd had to take this one because of the gala that night.

The things she does for her boys. (Yes, she's including the girls in that statement. It's a term of endearment.)

It was a slow morning, like every morning at the library, so Barbra was doing the painstaking task of going over every single move thirty people had made in the last two weeks.

Was it necessary? No. Was she doing it anyway? Yes, but only because Bruce is a paranoid bastard. And, in Gotham, that's normally justified. Especially since they were hosting high-profile guests who aren't allowed to spend any amount of time in Gotham at all.

This was fun as hell, but this particular precaution was so redundant.

Babs wants a pay raise.

She doesn't get paid for this.

would you look at that, the first two people are still clean. Twenty-eight more to go.

"Dad's probably having much more fun at the station." She snorts softly. "Yeah, right."

08:00

Kate, Selina, and Luke were on Arkham duty. No one ever goes out of their way like this, but knowingly having so many powered individuals in Gotham at the same time was a risk that they were putting extra precautions in place to account for.

Arkham Asylum is a revolving door on the best days and they were due for another breakout soon. Everyone could feel it.

Batman doesn't like metahumans operating in Gotham because of the sheer amount of chemical warfare and child endangerment. A normal civilian that's been hit with Fear Gas or Joker Toxin is a pain to subdue and cure. A Bat is even worse, and most of them don't have superpowers. A meta getting doused with either of those would be disastrous.

The Justice League may not know the reasoning, but they respect it. This means, however, that none of them know how to deal with anything that happens in Gotham.

They're not patrolling the city. They'll leave that up to Signal and Robin, whenever he joins him. Batwoman, Bat Wing, and Catwoman are stationed around Arkham Island itself. Batwoman is watching Arkham East, Bat Wing at Arkham West, and Catwoman at Arkham North. Under strict instructions to not engage in the event of a breakout, they're there purely to watch. If there is a breakout, then they're to down the bridge and call the rest of the family to help deal with it. From there, it's just normal procedure.

Why Bruce doesn't have surveillance on the island already is anyone guess.

"We've only just gotten here," Batwoman said into her comm, "But I'm already over this."

"Don't jinx it, man," Bat Wing sighed, "I'd rather have a boring day today."

Catwoman tsked at them. "It'd be exciting, though, having to deal with a breakout and a gala at the same time."

"I guess," Batwoman agreed, "But with so many heroes coming to the city? That sounds like a horrible time."

"Where's your sense of whimsy, Katey-cat?" there was a teasing smile in her voice.

"Dead with my aunt and uncle."

Bat Wing couldn't stop his laugh. "Ha! Don't let B hear you talk like that."

"I can talk however I want to. B cope by putting on a bat suit and fighting crime, I cope by making jokes."

"Batwoman?"

"Yeah, Cat?"

"You're wearing a bat suit and fighting crime."

A moment of silence passed between the three.

"Shut up."

10:00

Tim's job was monitor duty. He was charged with watching every entrance to the city, making sure he knew the exact moment the heroes and their families arrived.

Monitor duty's always boring. How does Barbra do it? She deserves a pay raise.

She doesn't get paid. None of them do...

Hm.

Tim knows why it's important to know exactly when their superpowered guests arrive. He also knows why it's important to know exactly where they all are while they're in the city. But, c'mon. Why does he have to be here all day? If they timed it right, then no one should be entering the city until-

Oliver. And Dinah and Roy and Lian.

What the hell are they doing here so early? Even on a private jet, it's a seven hour flight! They shouldn't be there until two at the earliest!

Unless they boarded at two in the morning.

Who in their right mind would put a toddler on a plane for a redeye flight?

Rephrasing: Why would someone as rich as Oliver think it would be a good idea to take a red eye to the Crime Capital of the country?

Did they- were they here so early to sight see?

He shakes his head as he picks up his phone and calls Jason. "Head's up, man, The Queens just landed at the airport."

"Got it." Jason hung up. Asshole.

Tim sent the same message to the group chat they'd made for this purpose. Oliver, Dinah, Roy, and Lian were now in Gotham City. If Jason does his job right, then they'll have a tracker placed on them soon. If not, then Tim'll have to follow them the hard way.

He switched to a different monitor, keeping one on the Queen Family. If he's right, then the only groups not arriving by plane will be the Supers and the Wonders, so he'll have to watch the train stations and bridges, too.

12:00

Alfred called everyone to lunch the moment the clock turned over the hour. Nothing had gone wrong so far and it was putting everyone on edge.

A pessimistic view, but that's how they were all raised. Well, most of them were raised that way.

Despite waiting anxiously for the other shoe to drop, everyone was having a grand time. Phase Two of their prank wasn't nearly as fun as Phase One, but they were still excited to go through with it. After all, if they pull this off, they'll have more leverage over the heroes, and that's just too good too pass up.

Bruce called attention by clearing his throat. "Our original plan was to see if the Justice League would be able to sniff us out tonight without us having to say anything. I'd like to alter that course a little bit."

Now he had everyone's undivided attention.

"As you know, I've asked Oliver to give a speech tonight. Afterwards, as everyone's clearing out, I want to tell him directly."

"But what about Clark and Diana?" Steph asked, "You've known them the longest, so shouldn't they be the first to know?"

Bruce nodded. "Yes, but I don't have an excuse to pull either of them aside without it looking suspicious."

"Why tell anyone at all?" Jason said, "If they can't figure it out on their own, why should they get to know at all?"

"I was going to tell them anyway," Bruce admitted, "I just thought that you all would like to have some fun with it before then. After all, it wouldn't be just my name they're learning, but all of yours."

"So, everyone would know?" Dick wondered. It'd be a relief on his end, especially because he'd spent weeks convincing the others to let him tell his best friend.

Bruce nodded. "All of the Justice League would. All of the other teams will probably find out through word-of-mouth, so once the JL knows, then every hero will know."

"That's a huge risk, B-man," Tim stated, "Are you sure it's the right decision?"

Jason scoffed. "We're asking questions now? We knew the risks when we started this whole thing. I say we see it through to the end, but you all tell your teams at the same time."

"You only say that because you'd be completely safe from the risk." Steph jabbed lightly.

He smirked at her. "Exactly."

"So, you'll tell Queen tonight before he leaves. At the next meeting, you tell your team while we tell ours?" Damian surmised.

"Exactly, chum."

"Yeah, but why Oliver? Why now?" Dick asked again.

Bruce looked sheepish. "Because I trust them." It was hard for him to admit, but this was probably long overdue. "I trust them with my safety, and I trust them with yours." Then, he smirked, "Plus, no one will believe Oliver if he tries to tell anyone."

The table started laughing together, the mood brightened.

Cass tapped the table after a few minutes. "Good idea," she said, signing as she spoke, "They'll hurt, but be glad you told."

Tim sighed. "I guess I gotta set up a meeting with the Titans, huh?" He pulled out the phone he uses exclusively for Red Robin. Then, he paused. "I don't think I want to tell them all. I'll obviously tell my team, but that's already going to be a huge amount of people who know."

"I'm inclined to agree." Damian added, "Though I'm not worried about so many heroes knowing, it is concerning to have that many variables holding our secret."

Steph agreed, "I don't work much with the other heroes, so I'll be pretty safe, but that is a lot of potential betrayals."

"Don't say it like that!" Dick gasped, "He's opening up!"

"No, no," Bruce waved, "She's right. It's a risk I'm willing to take by telling my closest friends, but I won't if you al don't feel comfortable with it."

"Well, then that makes this whole thing a moot point, doesn't it?" Tim said. He had yet to put is RR phone away, but he hadn't even turned it on either.

"I think we should tell them," Dick said, "Just our closest friends."

"Easy for you to say, Richard, West already knows who we all are."

"All the more reason to tell the Justice League! Even if we only tell the people who we invited tonight, then that's fine. It's still a huge show of trust on our end."

"He's right," Cass said, "They trust us, we trust them. Time to show them."

"Am I telling my team, or not?" Tim groaned.

"I will be telling Jon." Damian decided.

Bruce nodded. "I'll tell my team."

"I'll tell mine." Tim agreed.

Dick rubbed the back of is head, "Well, Wally already knows, but I think Raven isn't mad at me anymore."

Right, because this was actually a huge point of contention between Dick and his team.

"Anyone I'd tell already know, so, I'm good."

Bruce sighed. "I'm not even going to ask."

"Good, 'cause I won't answer."'

"Wonderful that you've all come to a decision," Alfred said as he finished clearing the dishes and food, "But I believe Master Duke is waiting on you, Master Damian."

"Right." He pushed himself away from the table, tucking the chair behind him. "I will see you all tonight."

13:00

Unlike everyone else, Jason wasn't in costume or stuck at the manor. Or at work. He was on ground duty.

Before lunch, he'd managed to slip a tracker onto Lian and Roy, not without Roy texting him to ask what the fuck was up. He said that he needed to get one onto Oliver or Dinah so that Batman knew where they were while in the city.

"That's fucked, man." Roy had sent back, though Lian's tracker was moved to Oliver.

"Not my decision," Jason had sent back, "But it's a safety precaution, so stay together."

After the discussion at lunch, the topic of which they should've hashed out at the very beginning of all of this, he'd been set back to follow unsuspecting heroes.

Which is a lot harder than you'd think, but still pretty easy for him.

It helps that Roy knows he's following them for safety reasons.

Though, another message came from Tim stating that both the Speedsters and the Wonders had entered Gotham. Sure, easy. Except the Speedsters had taken a plane while the Wonders had taken a car.

Fun.

While Tim's tracking Diana's car, Jason gets to put trackers on Iris and Bart. Dick, supposedly, has told Wally to look for Jason but not acknowledge him, as well as the fact that the trackers are a safety measure.

Apparently, Wally's on board wo help where he can. Good. That means that Jason can quietly hand off the trackers and Wally can deal with the rest.

At least, that's how it was supposed to go.

Jason was not warned that Wally holds the same energy as Dick.

"Jason!" Wally's smile was huge when he called out to him, running over to greet him, leaving his confused family a few yards behind. "Dick said you'd meet us here! It's been a while; How's it going?"

First off, Jason has never met Wally, though he supposes it's a good cover story. Second, why the hell does Wally know his name and face? He's going to kill Dick.

He popped a smirk. "Nice to see you, too, Wally. Dick's sorry he couldn't be here to meet you guys, but he's held up with some work at the moment."

Wally waved him off while Barry, Iris, and Bart joined them. "Meh, I'll harass him about it later. In the meantime, can you show us where our hotel is? We would take a taxi, but Dickie warned me about driving in Gotham when he heard we were coming."

Hotel? Makes sense, though it's inconvenient. "Dick's mixing up Bludhaven drivers with Gotham drivers." He shook his head. "Though, be healthily cautious of everything in Gotham while you're here. You're staying long?"

The group fell into step, though Wally was still the only one talking to him. "Only the night, then we gotta go back to Central City tomorrow."

He whistled. "Central? You're a long way from home."

"Yeah, but it's gonna be totally worth it. You know the Wayne Gala going on tonight?"

"There's a Wayne Gala tonight?"

Bart took this moment to chime in. "You mean you don't know about it? It's gonna be so cool! We got a special invite!"

"Is that so? I can't say I knew about any Galas going on tonight, though that shouldn't surprise ya. I don't really have time to worry about the upper class."

"Oh?" Iris asked, "Why's that?"

"I work in Crime Alley," The name made Barry shift slightly. "so my focus is on the lower classes and how to get kids off the street."

"Crime Alley?" Barry confirmed, "Isn't that where Red Hood is set up."

"You've done your research."

"Gotham's got a reputation."

Iris smacked his arm, but Jason just chuckled. "That she does."

Bart lasted no longer than five minutes of quiet walking before asking, "What can you tell us about Batman?"

"Not much," he answered, "He's basically a ghost. The only people that ever seen him are criminals and Commissioner Gordon."

"What about the other heroes?"

"'Heroes'? Gotham ain't got no heroes. She had knights, sure, but no heroes."

"But, what about Batman and Robin and Nightwing?"

"'Vigilante' would be a better word to describe them. Besides, Nightwing doesn't work in Gotham, he's out in Bludhaven."

"Oh."

The group stopped in front of a hotel, one of the cheaper ones near the airport. Jason held his hand out to the group. "It was nice meeting you guys. I guess I'll be seeing ya tonight?"

Barry shook his hand, then Iris, Bart, and Wally.

"I thought you didn't know about the Gala." Wally gasped dramatically, "Were you lying? To a child?"

Jason scoffed and shoved Wally's shoulder. "You're older than me. And, yes, I did. Not many people know about it outside of rumors, but I'll be there with the security team."

"I thought you were too busy to worry about the one percent?"

"I gotta have money to help out the kids in the Alley." A lie, but they don't need to know that. "Anyway, I gotta go. It was nice meeting you guys."

Bart waved enthusiastically at him. "By, mister!"

He called Tim as soon as he had turned the corner, getting Diana's location. He had a tracker for Cassie and one for Donna.

14:00

Patrol during the daytime was boring, but it presented its own challenges. However, none were so inconvenient as to drop him right in front of not only all four Earth-based Green Lanterns, but also the Atlantean Royal Family.

Honestly, them being in the same place at the same time felt like a joke of some sort. If it is, it's not very funny.

There was a robbery happening in the Narrows at a bodega that Signal likes to go to while on long patrols. It was pure chance that they were stopping by mere moments the robbers entered the building.

Scott, Stewart, Gardener, and Jordan all looked ready to step in from one side of store. The Curry family and Hyde also looked ready to jump in from the opposite side of the store. Their reactions were amusing compared to native Gothamites.

The bell on top of the door chimed again as the door closed behind Signal and Robin.

"You gonna put that gun down, or am I gonna have to take it from ya?" Signal asked, a hand on his hip. Robin said nothing, though he did place his own hand on the sword at his side.

The two robbers both hesitated before putting their weapons down.

Signal smiled. "Good." He turned to Robin. "I'll take these two to the station. Will you pick up our food?" Robin nodded. "Great. My usual, old man?" The older gentleman behind the counter smiled and started to make the food.

With their wrists zip-tied behind their backs, the two robbers were escorted outside and into an alleyway down the street. Signal would place a call to the cops and meet Robin across the street.

Robin waited silently for his and Signals food to be done, very aware of the eight visiting heroes watching him.

The old man finished Signal's sandwich, moving on to make Robins. The Green Lanterns and the Atlanteans were still watching his every move.

"There's been no moves from Arkham," the old man said as he handed Robin the food, "Anything to worry about?"

Robin shook his head. "No. As always, there will be a notice sent out if anything happens on the island."

"I don't know why they don't just destroy the bridge and call it a done deal."

"Resources still need to reach Arkham Island."

"Bah! Let 'em die on that island. If Batman ain't gonna take care of 'em, let 'em take care of themselves."

Robin bristled as he took the food. "I shall inform Batman of your opinions on the matter. However, he is working on a way to rehabilitate the inhabitants of Arkham Asylum."

"There ain't no saving most of 'em."

"Then let us work to save the ones that can be saved." He left after that, having no intentions of continuing a pointless conversation.

He could still feel eight pairs of eyes on him as he left, though they couldn't follow him to the rooftops.

Tt.

16:00

Dick, Steph, and Cass were in the Manor, helping Alfred by keeping Bruce out of the kitchen. The waitstaff, chefs, and security that they'd hired for the night were due to arrive very soon and having Bruce out of the way was best for everyone.

Saying that all three were keeping him occupied was a stretch. Cass and Steph were keeping Bruce confined to the Family Wing of the Manor while Dick handled everything else with Alfred.

When the hired help arrived, Alfred had been confined to the Manor to keep an eye on them while they cooked and got set up. That left Dick to pick up the suits from the tailors and pick up the three bloggers that had been hired to cover the press.

The suits were in the Diamond District at their usual tailor, so there was no hassle in picking them up outside of the stares he got when going in and leaving the store. Nothing he wasn't used to, though.

He was meeting the three press at the train station and taking them to Wayne Manor. Alfred was going to do it, but Jason was wandering Gotham and no one else is allowed in the kitchen.

However, there's a small problem with meeting three members of the press at the train station.

"The Kent Family just got off their train." Tim had sent to the group chat, "They're with the bloggers Buce hired."

Damn it. Is this payback for siccing Wally on Jason?

Dick threw on his Press Smile and walked into the train station. He spotted Clark first, Connor second, then the three press, and Lois and Jon.

The page four reporter from the Daily Planet was locked in conversation with Clark and Lois, though the other two were looking around nervously. He walked right up to the group.

"Mister Kent," he greeted, the group's attention falling to him, "Misses Lane. It's good to see you again."

"Mister Grayson," Lois smiled at him, "I don't suppose you're here to take us to Wayne Manor?"

He sighed exaggeratedly. "No, not this time I'm afraid. However," he turned his attention to the three who weren't family, "I am here to take you three to the Manor."

The Tumblr blogger Bruce had picked out held out their hand to shake. "It's nice to meet you, Mister Grayson, sir."

The one from Reddit also shook his hand, a smile taking over her face. The reporter from the Daily Planet looked like he was itching to take a picture or a statement.

"Please, call me Dick," he smiled, "That goes for you, too, Mister Kent, Misses Lane."

"Call me Clark, then," he said. "This is Connor, my little brother, and Jon, my son."

"Nice to meet you two. However, we must get back to the Manor. I'll see you all tonight?"

"Of course." Lois said pleasantly.

17:00

Everything was set just in time for the Manor gates to open and guests to arrive. Commissioner Gordon was over security, though he'd be inside the ballroom itself.

Everyone had returned to the Manor thirty minutes ago, all getting themselves ready before going to greet their guests at the entrance they'd be using.

Tim was still tracking all of the heroes and their families, relaying their locations until they crossed the property lines.

Jason, Kate, Luke, Steph, Selina, and Barbra were arriving separately and in the middle of everyone else. Selina, Jason, and Barbra would come together; so would Kate, Luke, and Steph.

Slowly and steadily, the ballroom filled with the invited guests.

18:00

The waitstaff moved quickly and professionally, making sure every single person had the meal that had been prepared for them. They were all labeled meticulously with the name of the person and table they were going to, a picture accompanying. No cross contamination in the food, and every dietary restriction - that the Waynes will not be explaining their knowledge of - was placed with the correct person.

As soon as every plate had been settled, dinner officially began.

Part 14 Part 16

[lialuvsaven]

Icymi but also a little rambling about stuff I added here ( let me have this, I've spent more time w a dictionary writing this than I have in my last two years of highschool) and also bc I thought more writing this than I did any essay in my academic life 😔😔😔😔

1. The parchment shaped wall clock was supposed to be based on. This curio. I was so entraces by its design I pictured how something similar would look like as a clock (and yes this is a curio but it's weird looking enough that you can find it in some empty cardboard boxes or in the trash)

2. The soup made with nettle leaves- is inspired from Cignidaki zumi— an actual Romani dish, soup made with stinging nettle leaves. I found a bunch of romani recipes but this one really caught my eye bc we have stinging nettle plant here I didn't know u can eat them until now.

3. The pink diamond bit is from the jade's timeline thing hsr posted a while ago ofc, I wanted to see a follow up on it and didn't get it so I made my own reality. I don't think finding out his birthday would take jade much effort bc A. The reports mention the avgin extinction being on their religious festival kakava and. His name is kakavasha. B. But other than that, checking his files (esp in the beginning) I like to think the system is advanced enough that it automatically concerts various dating systems and such (they're modern Enough to have the synesthesia beacon)

4. The corundum stone (god BLESS finding a stone similar to his eyes took YEARS OFF MY LIFE) it has other colors? Don't worry. Hsr has better gemstones. We can't even get the diamonds from Uranus.

5. I have.... negative feelings about jade, if you couldn't tell. I tried not to make her like a completely evil lady, but given how she did call him to "talk" post penacony main quest in canon (it had layers too) I like to think between his whole thing in penacony and later actions she thought he might need a reminder. And shed know to pick a good time.

6. virtually no way for the reader to know his personal info if he doesn't give them UNLESS she knows someone like Jade. Had they asked topaz, she'd tell them that he doesn't like it (bc the stonehearts' birthdays and such are an occasion for a party/dinner/ etc, upper class socializing stuff (that is important to the business and cause) but aventurine doesn't do THAT even tho he does throw those necessary parties anyway. So it's obvious that he. Doesn't like celebrating it at least if nothing else. Later scrapped that cuz.... that's a lot of thinking

7. I thought of adding the catcakes bc cats (pets) are a great source of comfort for So many people. And they're incredibly good at sensing human emotions. And (canonically) they're said to be as intelligent as a 6 year old so. The catcakes remind him of food when aventurine is lost in his thoughts (and it doesn't feel like it's pleasant), to distract him and direct him towards a task. They all gather around him when he starts drinking bc while they likely don't understand the concept of drinking well they DO know he's distressed, so keeping him company to help him. They'd be a little freaked out to see him emotional I imagine, bc that's not something they ever saw (hence the immediate nervous attempt at comforting by nuzzling into him) I looked up how real cats act to write this and now I want a kitty do bad 😞😔

I also like. Didn't keep them in focus at all bc like....he's not in the headspace to think about them much. But they keep showing up bc that IS his family, too .

8. Dismissing a comforting smell as a potion seems something he'd do. There's actually an all good potion ( consumable) in hsr and while THAT one didn't end up in the market there's def similar stuff already. I imagine something that makes hospital food feel comforting for the patients would be popular, hence that conclusion

9. Kakavasha's shoes . I actually thought they were different when I wrote this but later realized that they seem ....to be modified. Mended maybe? But yeah. Only a pair of shoes

10. His mother smells of creosote bush. This species is found in the deserts of southwestern North America, and is said to smell of the desert rain. For a child who was blessed by rain on his birth day I think his mother likely smelt of rain, too.

11. I wanted to add in a scene with Aventurine's secretary to show she really NEVER looks at his eyes because they're. Usually seen as freaky and odd by people. And paired with the discomfort itself, she'd naturally be more careful to not do that to not offend him (him being her boss and. Because he knows how everyone sees them.) not like that's what HE wants, but what she assumes. But I decided to scrap that lol

12. Also he only managed to cry that much bc he was inebriated lol I don't think he'll ever cry like that otherwise (plus his house is empty so he doesn't have to hide it(

And I wrote down about him still remembering the painful memories with his family (while he tries to forget the extinction event desperately) bc he needs to Preserve their memory and spent like 10 minutes thinking about it preservation.... preservation....

But anyway that's about it!!

Happy Birthday, Aventurine!!

“Aventurine always tries not to remember. He's never synced the Sigonian calendar system to check the date in trailblaze calendar, never makes the mistake of dwelling on the memories surrounding this day— even when he's too drunk to remember his own name. Done everything possible to not acknowledge it; because this day feels like nothing but a curse to him.

Unfortunately, Jade has now ensured that he never gets to forget his birthday, again.”

Pairing: Aventurine x reader

Tags: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Comfort in the end to compensate for everything else ❤️ Reader is not physically present in the fic (they're not dead it's ok)

wc: 3.3k

Aventurine was abruptly interrupted by a knock on the door just as the sun began to slant westward.

With a sigh, he puts down the pen and glances at the wall clock. The hands on the parchment-shaped monstrosity read 1 pm, but his eyes are drawn back to the purple tongue protruding from its massively extended mouth. Seriously, where does Stelle find these items? "An ugly, purple parchment shaped wall clock that looks like it's ready to eat people"— isn't something most people would think to give him, to say the least. But that's the thing—it was Stelle.

She claimed to have found it during one of her "excavations." And even though Miss March 7th did her best to keep her friend from going into further details, stepping on Stelle's toes right in front of him and giving her a sidelong glance, as if he wouldn't notice, he could tell what kind of "excavations" would turn up something like this. Not like he minds the origins of this gift, however. Gifts from friends are few and far to come by, especially ones who actually tolerate him. Not to mention, Stelle likely sincerely believes that it's a cool gift, which is why it has replaced the diamond-embedded wall clock on his wall.

His musings are interrupted by a second knock, which, like the first one, reverberates once around the room before fading away in embarrassment. "Come in." He announces, reclining back in his seat and looking at the door with expectation in his eyes. It was not uncommon for his secretary to appear randomly in his office, constantly fussing over yet another minor issue. He believed it was her; at least, his itinerary showed he didn't have any guest visits today. Maybe it was time to replace assistants—the new hire is clearly not on the same wavelength as him. But he'd only recently had Topaz yell at him for changing staff so frequently; he'd prefer not to tell her that her choice was horribly disappointing just yet.

With a tiny bag bearing a brand he is all too acquainted with, the secretary enters the office. She keeps her gaze fixed on the floor the entire time, hence doesn't notice when her supervisor raises an eyebrow at the sight of his favorite jewelry brand. "Sir," she says in a low, somewhat flat voice, akin to that of a news reporter. "Earlier, a staff of Madam Jade stopped by. You have a present."

A grin appears on Aventurine's face, followed by a joyful chuckle. With how busy work has been lately, he'd almost forgotten when he asked Jade for a pink diamond, as has Jade apparently, seeing how long it's taken for her to send this. His request was a joke, of course, only meant to irritate Topaz. But he wasn't surprised either; Jade always takes good care of her weaponry. "Ahhh, no wonder!" He chirps and presses his palms together. "She must've finally found some generosity in her heart, hm?" He muses, and his assistant can only stand there stoically. He waves her off as she places the bag on his table and departs with an unnecessary low bow, never looking at his eyes once. As always.

When the secretary has left the room, he opens the bag, humming as he removes the box and gift card. Jade's handwriting is distinctive: prim and precise cursive that resembles a font.

"Happy birthday, Aventurine. This jewel would suit you far better than the pink diamond you asked for, don't you think?" — Jade

Kakavasha freezes. His birthday, she says, but she'd need to align the standard calendar system to the Sigonian one to find that out. She sent him a…..….a gift? For his birthday? 

Is this a fucking joke?

The box reveals a chunk of corundum. Raw, uncut, pink and blue hues all over. Shades way too close to his eyes, and it doesn't take a gemologist to tell that Jade had done her searching thoroughly to obtain this. A jewel the color of his eyes, the color of Avgin eyes, neatly wrapped in a box for….to send ..what sort of message, exactly? Oh Avgin, never forget who you were before I found you��unpolished and undeserving. forget your name, but never your roots.  

The note is crumpled and thrown in the trashcan, while the corundum and its box are hastily and carelessly pushed back into the bag. Really, so typical of Jade, he scoffs as he tosses the godforsaken bag into a random drawer, never to be seen again. 

Kakavasha— no, Aventurine always tries not to remember. He's never synced the Sigonian calendar system to check the date in trailblaze calendar, never makes the mistake of dwelling on the memories surrounding this day— even when he's too drunk to remember his own name. Done everything possible to not acknowledge it; because this day feels like nothing but a curse to him.

Unfortunately, Jade has now ensured that he never gets to forget, again. 

In any case, Aventurine concludes that it is not good for him to worry about this too much. Yes, he can just forget about the corundum. Yes, he is able to forget how it resembled Avgin eyes. Yes, he can also forget that Jade most likely sent this to "keep him in check" following the stunt he did in Penacony. But it was a mistake on his part to not see something coming. She had done this before, and it would not be the last time. He smiles at his own reflection in the bathroom mirror, composed, shrewd, and calculated. Since a mirror has the freedom of choice, it does not return his smile.

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By the time the car comes to a stop in front of his house, Aventurine is exhausted. His chauffeur unlocks the door for him, and he makes his way to the elevator. Yet he's interrupted again— of course, because it's a cursed day, and Aventurine has to restrain himself from scowling at the gateman, who stands in front of him wearing an anxious expression. "Sir, your friend had visited earlier to drop off something."

He raises an eyebrow and is about to inquire when he notices the bag the man is carrying. Without saying anything further, he simply takes the bag. You are the only one who'd own a dumb clockie bag and the only one who'd ever drop things off at his place.

When he steps in, his three catcakes meow loudly to greet him, and feels somewhat grateful for it. Today was just too exhausting, after all. He understands what this is about, based on the fact that you always give him gifts in person. Why, of all days, would you consider dropping it off today? And with no advanced notice- completely unlike you. How annoying, did Jade really have to do this too? He's never disclosed his birthday to you, so you probably coerced her into telling you, and she was glad to oblige, given you are of value to her.

Aventurine doesn't realize he's been standing in the kitchen for a long time until Spade begins massaging its fluffy body on his legs. He is surrounded by his three catcakes, who are all staring up at him expectantly. The message is crystal clear: We Want Food. He moves swiftly to get their food bowls, chuckling to himself before setting your lunchbox on the counter, sort of as an afterthought. At least they'll be able to go to bed well fed tonight. 

After serving them dinner, he leaves the kitchen carrying a bottle of wine, hoping to spend the remainder of the evening crashing on the couch. He can just leave everything else for tomorrow. The benefit of drinking is that it can temporarily impair your ability to sense emotions. He only needs a short term fix, after all. Come tomorrow, he'll take hangover pills, and walk out of this house as Aventurine of the stratagems again— undoubtedly.

He turns on a random B-grade movie, prepared to drink the night away. And he does precisely that—he pushes down thoughts of how his childhood friends, whose features now misty in his memories, would react if they were to see him. With another shot, he pushes down recollections of his mother's cooking—the special meals for the Kakava—and his birthday. Another to accept the now-blurry face of his sister in his memory as the only proof of her existence. Another to forget the clay dolls she'd made for him, on the last birthday kakavasha got to celebrate, that were broken when he had to run for his life. And one more shot, and another, till he's forgotten everything; till he's numb and emotionless.

Feeling empty and hollow is far worse than anything else, and being unable to cry isn't as pleasant as he thought it'd be. But in his lavish home, where gold abounds in every nook and cranny, he has little reason for tears. Money may not be able to buy him happiness, as he is well aware, but it certainly does spare him from ugly tears unfit for his visage. Maybe that's why he hasn't cried in a while, or perhaps he has simply lost his soul somewhere along the way. He stays on the couch till 3 am, accompanied by his pets. He pretends not to see the troubled looks they shoot at him, whispered words passed between them that are clearly about him. By the time he decides to rest for the night, he is fatigued, sluggish, and barely keeping it together.

When he gets up to grab a glass of water from the kitchen, Ace makes a protesting noise before promptly shutting up. Catcakes are smart creatures, and they understand him better than most individuals in his life (or maybe the difference lies in care) His throat is dry, and ice cold water from the freezer provides enormous relief. However, the respite is taken away from him by the crackling lightning, loud as a whip, pulling out memories up to the forefront of his mind again. Of the lightning without the rain, of Sigonia-IV. The drumming of the thunder is largely hidden by the concrete walls, so it isn't as hard on the ear—but it aches a lot more than it did before. Aventurine sneers to himself, dismissing the idea as ludicrous. As if.

The second time the thunder sizzles, Aventurine has to take a sharp breath and grip the countertop to steady himself. It sounds like playing dead in the bleeding streams of Sigonia-IV, like the booming cackle of the mocking thunder. Had he been an insolent child, just a little more doubtful than he already was, he'd believe it was Mama Fenge herself laughing at her so called "blessed child". The thunder sounds similar, but it's not the same. No, because this is still Aventurine and he's still here and those are someone else's memories, forgotten and buried in sand.

Aventurine sighs.

Drinking too much has never done any good to him.

Just as he is ready to leave the kitchen, he notices the lunchbox sitting the counter out of the corner of his eye. Oh, right. He hadn't even touched it. A distraction doesn't seem bad now, though. If he wants to fabricate a plausible lie about eating the food, he would at least need to know what kind of food you sent. If the mental image of your frown after discovering he never even looked at what you sent is what gives him the final push , he would never admit it.

The lunchbox has a plains bear cub logo: you've always been a sucker for cute things. He sets aside the little note attached for later this time, preferring to taste the dinner first. It looks like you chose to make him some kind of soup. Insulated lunchboxes are a blessing— because it's surely been well over half a day since you made it, yet it's still warm. While the presentation is relatively simple, it smells strangely comforting— effect of some potion? He's heard of those, but they're usually used for sick patients, no? Other than that, this is the first homemade meal he's having in a….while. Not that it matters. Aventurine isn't picky, and while the leafy greens are unfamiliar to him, he believes he can handle at least a tablespoon.

Even the largest avalanche can be triggered by the smallest of things. Just one spoonful, and yet it's enough to make his world stop.

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The dry, broken soil scraped against his bare feet, producing little clouds of dust in its wake. His strides were light and rapid, nearly tripping over himself with excitement and giddiness. Just a little more, and he'll reach the finish line. Even the Sun's typical glare felt kind today; warm and tender against his tanned skin. Jumping over the homemade hurdles, he reaches the finish line far ahead of his friends. They protest and pout, and he taunts them with the biggest smile on his face. The soles of his feet feel slightly sore from running barefoot, but Kakavasha wouldn't risk destroying his only pair of shoes for a game. 

When he hears his sister's voice calling for him, he rushes to embrace her and buries his face in her apron. His mother once told him that the Avgins all possess lovely voices, but Kakavasha believes his sister's is the best, especially when she laughs.

"And when will you listen to me and stop running around in the middle of the day, hm?" She pinches his nose and uses her apron to wipe the dirt off his face. Kakavasha beams at her with no regrets, proudly displaying the gap between his teeth. Once kakavasha had said his goodbyes to his friends, they walk hand in hand towards their tent.

There, his mother welcomes them with a warm embrace that smells like creosote bush and desert rain. “My darling," she coos, putting his small hands in her larger ones, rough from labour. "I remember you promised to be on time for lunch last time?" He grins cheekily, vowing not to do it again. (He's a repeat offender, but he knows that his mother and sister can't stay upset at him for long.)

His mother laughs, and tells him to tidy up before eating. Kakavasha's tummy is grumbling by the time he returns, and he finds the mats his sister laid down to sit on. The two siblings sit next to each other, chatting and giggling as they wait for their mother. She serves them a pot of hot soup with nettle leaves and lentils, just the way Kakavasha prefers it. He's overjoyed; quickly finishing his prayers before digging in. Kakavasha is a growing boy, and that's proved again when he finishes his bowl before his family.

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

The soup she'd served him back then wasn't anything lavish; just a simple soup with local herbs and nettle leaves in a broth that smelt so uniquely of hers. His mama may have had a knack for cooking, but due to a lack of opportunities and resources, she never got to demonstrate her abilities. Compared to that, your food is much finer, and while excellent, it lacks the warmth of his mother's hands.  

Nevertheless, he can't resist taking another spoonful and quickly putting it in his mouth because the familiarity is so, so palpable. He recalls that his sister wanted him to eat better, so she gave him half of her portion after he finished his. His mother then gave his sister half of her portion, as they are Both growing children. All of a sudden, the bickering, the laughs, and their voices are as plain as day in his mind. He can't fully recall the glitter in his sister's eyes or the dimple on his mother's cheek, but it's clearer than any other memory he had of them, that's for sure. 

Aventurine can't stop crying, even if he wants to. Trying to halt the choking sobbing is fruitless, as is trying to figure out what's going on. He picks up the little message with shaking hands, hoping—praying—that it will help. You'll make it make sense. Somehow.

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“Dear Aventurine, I hope you have a wonderful birthday!!!!”  

Written in thin, flowing, rounded letters that are noticeably cleaner than your actual handwriting. You undoubtedly put a lot of effort into each letter you wrote. Aventurine was correct in assuming you found out his birthday through Jade, as you have written it here. "Buying a gift for you seems…a little perfunctory," you said, "so I've settled with cooking you something myself."

"And if the dish tastes familiar (which I hope it does) then yes, you've guessed it right— it's a traditional Avgin dish."

The perfumed ink is thicker here, a few ink blots from where you've likely paused to think, go over each sentence in your head before writing them down.

You mention finding the Avgin dishes by reading some kind of research paper on Sigonian culture and food, but Aventurine isn't sure he can believe that. You wrote, "I was fortunate enough," yet chance alone wouldn't get you something like that. Sure, maybe some doctoral candidate was crazy enough to choose a dead planet and its deader tribes to write about, but finding that paper would be too difficult. The biggest issue, however, is that Aventurine believes this dish should not and cannot exist. The stinging nettle leaves his mother used are no longer available, and while he didn't know much about cooking at the time, he was aware that all of the spices he knew were almost extinct. He's looked enough to know.

"I'll be honest, I had some trouble locating the ingredients for it and had to swap the majority of them because I couldn't find them. I really wanted to bring back a familiar feeling, even if it tastes very different from how you remember it. Plus, it's the thought that counts, right?"

In contrast to the light-hearted language, your writing is slightly wobbly and darker here, and Aventurine wonders if you realise your emotions seep through every single one of your actions, laid bare for the world to see.

Noting the disappearance of their owner, curious, the catcakes peep into the kitchen are immediately alarmed to see their owner sitting on the counter stool, sobbing and clutching a box. Spade, unsure of what to do, nuzzles it's head on Aventurine's leg, while the others meow in an attempt to calm him down. Aventurine hasn't sobbed in a long time—he can't remember how to anymore. His body shakes with each ragged and broken sob, sounding shattered and damaged, but he can't stop.

"I hope it brings you fond memories" is what you wrote down, but are you aware of the full impact of what you did for him? Most likely not. Aventurine cherishes all of his memories, including the unpleasant ones: as long as it involves his family. His misery knows no bounds, but he's only had a few years with his sister, and even fewer with his mother. So even the saddest memories are never forgotten, so he can preserve as much of them as possible. They live through his memories, after all. 

Even when plain, his mother's meals provided him with more warmth than anything else back then. To feel that warmth decades later is a blessing he can't repay— but a blessing nonetheless. He doesn't have many memories like this one either, gentle and happy, contrary to the endless memories of struggling. He remembers their love so vividly right now, feels it so strongly, alongside yours— that he has no choice but to revel in it.

(Come tomorrow , when he's sober, puffy-eyed from crying and not as vulnerable, he'll have trouble figuring your reasoning. But for now, he'll be fine. Tonight, he'll go to sleep feeling loved. Tonight, his pets will cuddle him to sleep. Tonight, he'll dream of a Sigonia Only he knows.)

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A/N: I'm honestly still so embarrassed about this bc I have an idea but can't execute it like I want to and 🫠🫠 As always, comments and reblogs are really appreciated!! Thank you for reading <3

[dailypokemoncrochet]

I spent so long on this 😭🪦

[xshinina]

Guess who's back for blood?

[cubbihue]

Hi! this is kinda an art request if u dont mind. And it's angst related, can you draw like where wanda and cosmo obvs have seen for a while how (human) timmy has been treated by his real parents. I just want to see like the "last straw" which lead Cosmo and Wanda wanting them to make Timmy as their own. (IM HAPPY THAT TIMMY HAS A FAMILY THAT LOVES AND CARES FOR HIM)

The "Last Straw"?

Cosmo and Wanda have seen humans at their best. They've seen humans at their worst. They've seen anything and everything that they've gone numb and used to what humans get up to.

But nothing's shaken them quite like Timmy's case did. Nothing has ever made a Fairy feel such strong human emotions than what Timmy made them feel, on that one particular night.

The thing that broke Cosmo and Wanda was Timmy himself.

Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]

[nissho-ku]

marathons were often celebrated with a roaring applause and confetti exploding around them, the finish line rope torn for the finale fanfare. this marathon ends with ryusei staring lazily yet lovingly at his fiancé of one day. he still couldn't believe that he'd been able to do it, get on his knees in front of his lover and propose to him on his birthday. even though he still held his fears and reservations, the thought of rin not being in his life scared him even more. to ryusei, marriage was some unobtainable thing; that there was no way that rin would ever be happy once they tied themselves together like that. and yet, rin wants him like that, to be more than just boyfriends. a partner in life, in name, in symbolic matrimony.

this view in front of him is one he wants to wake up to every day, even if sleep wasn't a single thought until just now. ryusei wants his every day to start like this, with rin in his arms, his skin littered in his bites, and his heart so full it could burst. a lazy smile paints his lips as he reaches out to cup his face. “ossu... ohayo, rin,” he murmurs bringing him in for a soft sweet kiss. he hums gently, stroking his cheek under his thumb tenderly, a start contrast to the wild romp they had all night long.

“i don't really think i can move anywhere anyways,” he says after pulling away from the kiss. “i'm thirsty too though. give me a sec.” shidou eases his hips away from rin, wincing at the foul noise they make as his over sensitive dick finally separates from his ass. he watches as his spend leaks out of him, knowing that there was so much still left inside of him from last night. unable to help himself, ryusei gently thumbs the glob and guides it back inside of him, attempting to bite back a smile. “ahh, don't let it all go to waste. i recall you asking me if i was gunna knock you up after all,” he teases, leaning in to kiss any complaint or protest before it leaves rin's lips.

ryusei sits up after a moment, gently scooting to the edge of their bed where the mini fridge is, stock full of small snacks and mini water bottles as a complimentary thing by the hotel. ryusei grabs two for each of them, rolling rin's towards him so he can shuffle his way back to his spot beside his lover before gulping down his water. perhaps they should have taken breaks, but they were so caught up in each other no other thought existed. a bottle and a half later finds shidou beside rin again, one arm tucked under him, the other arm folded over his chest. he's exhausted but in love and sleep sounded so pleasant to him. “thanks for agreeing to marry me, rin. i swear i'll make you the happiest wife,” he murmurs drowsily.

sleep consumes shidou quickly, his body warm and his lover in his arms. he doesn't even realize he's too tired to do his usual bout of nightly crying; for the first time in years shidou doesn't go to sleep feeling like nothing. he doesn't dream, barely moves a muscle or anything save for whatever barely conscious movements to accommodate rin sleeping with him. the noises and unfamiliarity of staying in a different country doesn't bother him at all, not when everything feels so perfect in this morning, and he's too tired too asleep to let it even cross his mind.

it's getting late in the evening when shidou rouses from his sleep. he groans softly, feeling the need to relieve himself, the need to eat, then go right back to sleep. his body protests to a number of things, however it's ignored in favor of admiring the man in his arms again. he's so in love and smitten; ryusei can't help but instantly fold at the sight of rin every time. gentle kisses are pressed against him, his lips. “baby... rin. wake up. c'mon... good morning, beautiful.” there's a number of things that needed attending to between them. “we're all stinky and sweaty. are ya hungry? thirsty?”

rin is spoiled; spoiled in the way that ryusei's physical affections & intimacy kept him satisfied & full. when they were without each other for a month during his trip in spain, he didn't mind it until towards the end of it how much he really craved the blonde. that's why when he came back, rin only knew ryusei every touch, groan, thrust of his hips, or the way he talks dirty while he's inside of rin. rin enjoys the feeling of their post-coital bliss, he feels likes he floating on clouds, his body telling him that he could skate through anything right now. it's why he urges ryusei for another round & when he obliges he clings onto the other as he moves him.

it's rough & rin loves it just as much as their sweet, slow love making. he groans when he feels ryusei grip onto his hips & he's pushing deep into him. rin feels full to the brim taking ryusei's dick & his cum inside of him. rin takes the opportunity to grip onto his back, sure to have one too many scratch marks. ryusei doesn't need to tell him twice as his mouth attaches to his neck before kissing along it. he's a cobra ready to strike it's prey & leave it's mark as he takes his first of many bites along ryusei's neck. there's another groan since he's focused on the blonde's words. he was never surprised with his kink considering how loud ryusei & his hook-ups were when they were neighbors. the one thing they could both agree on is that they didn't want children but, ❛ fuck, do you want that? love taking all of you, keep me so full...yeah. are you going to knock me up?❜ he's never one to indulge in ryusei's dirty talk but he was too into it, into being one with his fiance that he didn't care.

there's another switch of positions & rin finds himself on top of ryusei. he groans as he slides downwards until he takes him to the hilt. there's a growing blush that appears as ryusei call him princess & then he decides to start riding him without another word. rin is desperate to leave his mark so he takes the moment to lean down and bite his shoulder. a groan escapes as he hears his words & gives him nothing but a nod before sucking & biting. rin breaks away, a steady stormy gaze meeting pink hues. there's another roll of rin's eyes as he feels another hard thrust into him, but he's determined to ride ryusei like he's on a mechanical bull. rin's hips move like ocean waves at times they are calm but he wants to reach his peak with ryusei at the same time, so they become choppy & rough. all he could think about was the blonde knowing that this is their forever is something he's content with. there's a sudden grab for his hand & he smiles as he finds himself getting closer. ❛ i love you too,❜ before he proceeds to make a mark on ryusei's chest.

he doesn't know how he got in front of the mirror, maybe by whatever strength ryusei has left. he groans at their new position, the both of them being flexible always gave them the option to try new things. rin is more than open to them with the way the position hits him from a different angle & his moans grow louder. he wants to kiss him again as he was before but ryusei brings to his attention how much of a mess he looks. aquamarine eyes quickly dart to see the mirror where his hair is matted with sweat, his body covered in all of ryusei's offerings, & the fact that he was still hard & felt that dopamine rush. he doesn't say anything after before moving his hips back into him as response before he continues to coast along the pleasure that ryusei provides for him. ❛ yours...❜

rin adds to the gallery of marks along the canvas of ryusei's skin once they make it away from the mirror. he was determined to catch up considering he didn't even get to suck ryusei's dick at all. he knows there's plenty of time for that, so he's not complaining but he wants to make his footprints along the sand of his skin. he is just as possessive as ryusei, but his actions normally tend to speak it. he's positive they are going again, he's lost count at this rate. he knows they are used to running a marathon when it comes to their sex life together. rin feels his head dip back as he feels ryusei's mouth along his neck. his body feels like a bundle of sensitive nerves & just one touch reminds him of everything they did tonight. rin doesn't care much that they are both a mess of their limbs & body fluids, he knows he feels content. he lets the pleasure continue to be drip fed to him as he lays comfortably.

his eyes feel heavy but he turns around to face the other. he wraps his arms around his neck. his mouth feels parched & there's an ache everywhere, but a good kind of soreness from his muscles. ❛...barely. i'm thirsty but i want sleep and to be in your arms.❜ he states nonchalantly. ❛can we explore tomorrow instead?❜ he rests his forehead against his since thinks this is all he can muster unless ryusei finds some of his strength to grab water from one of the two mini fridges. there's a small chuckle as ryusei nuzzles against him & he closes his eyes for a second. rin loves being with him, neither of them are perfect, in fact they are jagged pieces that make each other whole. he wonders what their honeymoon would be like.

❛before i forget, ohayo ryusei.❜ there's a soft smile that forms along his lips.

[dailyloopdeloop]

DAY 109: happy birthday!

[volitioncheck]

does near every single post-canon DE fic out there need to be tagged ‘Sober Harry Du Bois’? i’m getting so tired of it.

do i expect every single piece of fan content to have to fully delve into the often-depressing always-complex topic of addiction? not really. sometimes you just want to write/read a silly fluffy romance one-shot, whatever. i get it. but i think my issue is specifically with the fact that for nearly every sillyfluffy au out there, there almost must be a ‘sober harry du bois’ tag. and it does feel very slapped-on more often than not.

i think to me it is an unconscious statement that nothing *good* can ever happen to harry du bois until he is completely and permanently sober. before solving the next big case, he has to be sober. before quitting the force, he has to be sober. before falling in love with kim, he has to be sober. before accomplishing anything, starting any sort of recovery, making any life improvement, he must first be sober.

sobriety as a goal, as a journey, and honestly as a concept in of itself is not as cut and dry as so many people think it is. and i think it would serve a lot of people well if they did some introspection on the implications of how nearly every single post-canon fic that isn’t dealing directly with harry’s addiction have him as completely sober instead.

if the plot of the fic isn’t going to touch directly on harry’s substance use (and again, i’m not demanding that every single fic should), why does that mean that sober!harry must be the default?

i think i am just tired of reading a casefic, a smutty one-shot, a fantasy au, whatever, where it almost seems that before getting on with the plot, the author feels obligated to first assure us that the harry we’re reading about is a Sober Harry. it’s established with a couple lines in the exposition, probably about his improved appearance, a tag up top, and then never brought up again; a checkmarked box. like the societal image of An Addict has completely prevented people from being able to imagine a person just, continuing to live life, while still struggling with addiction.

life happens, with all of its backslides and achievements, mundanity and changes, to people with drug addictions just as much as people who don’t. is a post-canon harry who isn’t sober not worth writing about?

i think so. i think the game we all played thinks so too. in fact i think that sentiment is woven into the game’s very core. i just wish i saw that reflected in our fan content more.