#and doesn't stop *sweats*
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What ever you do don't think about Percy reading Estelle a little kid version of 'The Odyssey' because that's what Sally read to him but he doesn't want to scare her. Don't imagine Sally looking on with guilt in her eyes cus she HAD to read him the real one so he knew what to expect. Don't think about Sally looking down on her little girl with tears in her eyes cus she doesn't need to worry about snakes in her bed or teachers being Cyclopes. Don't think of Sally seeing Estelle with Paul and having to leave the room cus when Percy was that age they had Gabe. Don't think of the unimaginable guilt that Sally must feel for being relieved that Estelle's biggest battle at 16, is her Dad being her teacher. And whatever you do don't think about Percy feeling like an outsider in his own family even though he gets constantly reassured that he's part of it and loved.
#percy jackson#percy jackon and the olympians#sally jackson#estelle blofis#paul blofis#teenage estelle making a comment about how blue food is for babies and Percy and Sally stopping cus to her its a juvenile thing but to them#it was a way to rebel against their abusive husband/stepdad.#camp half blood#perseus jackson#heroes of olympus#rick riordan#dont imagine Percy looking across the way at Sally Paul and Estelle play at the park and not going over cus he hed hate to ruin it with a#monster attack (theirs no monsters around that he can see but what if? he cant let his sister be harmed by them too)#pjo hoo toa#pjo#pjo series#theirs a Reddit abour this person that got to go on a overnight trip for school and their sleeping bag was a blanket tied up with rope.#their pjs were old sweats. their tooth paste was in bagie instead of a travel size. cus that all they could afford and they got bullied but#it was ok cus they got to go on the trip. but in the end the trip kinda sucked cus they didn't get to do what they wanted but they got to g#so it wasn't all bad. but afew years later after their family came into some money their little sibling got to go on the trip but they got#all new rhings for the trip. new clothes new sleeping bag a suit case. travel size products etc and while the other sibling get it its just#they're upset that they didnt get that. they know WHY they didnt but their still upset.#or that one episode of The Goid Place where elenor doesn't believe her mom is a good mom now cus she wanted a good mom but all she got was#shitty mom and if her mom had the ability to change she could have changed all along she just didnt.#that vibe but make it Percy Jackson (not to say sally was wrong she did what she could to make sure percy was prepared she just... doesn't#have to do that with Estelle that its kinda heart breaking cus she would have LOVED to not have had to prepare Percy but life sucks)
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what would megumi’s life have been if he was actually raised by the zenin from day one? like either gojo lost the custody battle or they were able to scoop him up before gojo ever reached them. i doubt they would want to keep tsumiki with them so she’s not there for little baby megs.
i think it would be really cool to see a zenin raised megumi interacting with his fellow classmates when he attends the school, not to mention the contrast between him and gojo. like on paper they both should have gotten the same treatment-being pampered and spoiled rotten but we also know that the zenin think that hurting little kids makes them stronger so it would be super interesting to see megumi realise that the stuff that happened to him wasn’t normal and for gojo to have a guilt trip bc he wasn’t able to help megumi when he needed someone to help him the most.
So I have a fanfic that I’ve half written (no idea if I’ll ever finish it—I’d love to, it’s just hard to find the time) about EXACTLY THAT that I talked about in this post for an ask game.
That being said, that entire thing happens from Tsumiki’s perspective, and I agree with you—I don’t think the Zenin would have ever actually taken her too. They don’t want her. She’s not Zenin. She’s not a sorcerer. They only bought Megumi. For the most part, Megumi is absent from that post, and you asked about Megumi. So this is what I think would happen on Megumi's side of that post I linked.
It comes down to two things:
1. He is never, ever happy with the Zenin.
2. He never lets go of his sister.
Megumi’s old enough to remember Tsumiki when the Zenin take him away. He's old enough to love her. And I think that Megumi loves very quietly, but he also loves very violently. He wouldn't let his sister hold his hand on the walk to school, but he would sacrifice himself for her future.
I think the Zenin took him from his sister, and I think he kicked and screamed and wasn't strong enough. I think they thought he would forget her eventually.
And then I think he bit most of the Zenin Clan.
At the end of the day, what Megumi wanted was the one thing the Zenin were not willing to give him. They were never like the Gojo clan, they were never going to pamper him, but there are a great many things in this world that they would give the Ten Shadows finally returned to them. But they would not give him a non-sorcerer, non-Zenin sister who would only be a weakness to him. They refused to let him have any contact with his sister, and that was the source of a lot of what soured.
Any Megumi that was taken in by the Zenin would have been taken in to Naobito's household directly. He would be announced as the one who finally inherited their most cherished technique, and he would be declared heir, and the Zenin would call him beloved for it.
They would keep him in a room that was large and empty and almost always dark, and he wouldn't be allowed to decide when he slept or woke, and the door would always be locked from the outside. They would give him a wardrobe of expensive clothes that he hated, and he would never get to pick which of them he wore.
Megumi would hate them. He would hate all of them.
He's just not the type to be comfortable with or enjoy the adoration of others--especially when it's not backed up by genuine love. Megumi is someone who very much values sincerity and depth to emotion--it's one of the reasons why he seems to respect Yuuji so much. Yuuji is a good person who follows through with what he says. He's not just going to talk about wanting to save people--he's there making the sacrifices as he does it.
The Zenin do not actually love him. And he knows it. He's experienced love before, and this isn't it.
They love the idea of him. The fantasy of him that lives in their heads. He has no interest in being their little god prince to contend with the Gojo's own. He knows who he is, and it's not this. He wants to go home. He wants to find his sister again. He doesn't want to do this anymore.
And I think that's a feeling Megumi never escape: he just didn't want to do this anymore.
Megumi would feel like a bug pinned beneath glass in the Zenin compound. He would constantly have people managing him--when he ate, what he ate, what he wore, when he slept, when he woke, when he trained, what he did. Having to become a jujutsu sorcerer signified an inherent loss of control, but it's nothing compared to the sheer objectification that he goes through when the Zenin have exclusive control over him.
He has no power of what clothes he wears. How his hair is styled. His schedule, his diet, the people he speaks too--he's suffocating and the Zenin are just increasing pressure on him.
I don't think Gojo ever thought that would be Megumi's life.
We’re gonna just have this imagining exist in the same world as the Tsumiki centric fic described in the linked post, and in that, the reason why Gojo never took him in was because he didn’t know Megumi had a sister. He showed up, saw the divine dogs, realized Megumi had the Ten Shadows, and decided he couldn’t do this. He was a mess. He was grieving Suguru and Haibara. Megumi looked just like the man who killed Riko, and apparently inherited the fucking Ten Shadows of all the goddamn things. The Zenin would lose their shit, and Gojo didn’t have the energy to fight and told himself he didn’t need to, because if Megumi was the Ten Shadows he’d be cared for like a prince with the Zenin. He turned around and left and spent the rest of his life with Megumi in the back of his mind, always nagging him with whether he made the right decision. It wasn’t until Maki got there and made a few worrisome references to Megumi's standard of living that he started to really worry that he had made the wrong one, and it wasn't until he found out about Tsumiki that he knew it was the wrong decision.
It's like this: The Zenin hurt Megumi in every world.
It would be bad no matter what, but it really gets bad because Megumi refuses to stop trying to get back to Tsumiki. She's his sister. They didn't have anyone or anything in this world, but they had each other, and he couldn't let these people just take her away. He’s feral about it. He refuses to fit the mold they keep trying to cram him in. He’s trying to scale the walls to escape. He’s increasingly desperate and angry and the Zenin are getting more and more frustrated the longer he fights them. He’s the heir to the clan, and he can’t stop trying to leave it to get back to some random girl who isn’t his real sister and isn’t someone they’ll ever allow him to have.
It gets bad.
They put him under increasingly strict levels of control. He’s constantly being trained, which means he's constantly being hurt. He’s not allowed to speak to anyone without the clan head’s approval. He is under absolutely constant guard after he manages to get over the wall and halfway to his old neighborhood before they catch him again. Tsumiki’s name is not allowed to be said aloud, or his old name. He forgets his name used to be Fushiguro, but he doesn’t forget Tsumiki. He doesn’t let himself.
I think it escalates until it hits a breaking point. Megumi becomes increasingly self-destructive and non-responsive to everything they try. They push him to extremes that start risking permanent damage.
I think Megumi would try to hurt himself, eventually.
He wouldn't be in his right mind. He's in the most shit situation possible. He's undergoing pretty severe abuse. He'd be at the end of his rope from the lack of control over his own life, and he'd be spiteful as hell towards the Zenin. And the only thing he has to hurt them with is himself.
As a character, Megumi has always considered his own sacrifice as an acceptable means to the end of getting back at someone. Mahoraga, intrinsically, requires him killing himself as a way of killing someone else. He'd hurt himself if it was the only way he had of hurting them.
Naobito would cover it up. He'd never, ever want the rest of the clan to find out that it happened. It was already bad enough that Megumi openly hated them--he couldn't have the Zenin seeing any vulnerability in what was meant to be their most powerful member. He'd put Megumi in total lockdown until he could make it all go away.
Then they'd make a deal.
A binding vow. Megumi could never purposefully hurt himself again. He could never again try to leverage his own safety against the clan.
And in exchange, Tsumiki would be taken care of.
The last time Megumi saw his sister, she was on a sinking ship. They were running out of food, money, options--he doesn't know if she even has food anymore. He doesn't know if she lost the apartment or if there's still running water.
They're not letting him see her. But they are letting him take care of her. He can sacrifice another piece of control over himself, and she'll never have to worry about money again. They'll pay for her housing, her food, her education, for her every desire for as long as she lives. The trust the Zenin set up for her will be a generous one, and it will be managed meticulously by a trustee who can make sure she'll be provided for until she's old and grey. And Naobito will vow to never hurt her or send someone else to hurt her. She'll be safe. She'll be taken care of.
Megumi makes the deal.
In the end, the deal's what sort of breaks him.
Because he doesn't promise to stop looking for her, but the Zenin manage to make it a part of the terms anyway. When they approach Tsumiki's mother with the offer to be her family's beneficiary, they include a requirement that Tsumiki be moved to another city entirely with no forwarding address given. She needs to be somewhere that Megumi can never find her again.
The Zenin keep the old apartment. They pay the rent every month. And the next time Megumi manages to make it off compound, they let him make it all the way there before dragging him home. They let him see the empty apartment with all its empty rooms.
Naobito wants him to know that Tsumiki's gone. He wants him to know that he'll never find her again.
He tries to run a few more times after that, but he never makes it very far. He doesn't have anywhere to go.
In the linked post, Megumi finds Tsumiki, just once. She's on a class trip. He's on one of his very few and far between allowed excursions off the compound grounds, and he sees her in the crowd and recognizes her, and he ducks away from his escort before anyone can stop him.
She remembers him. He didn't think she would do that.
She tries to save him. He didn't think she would do that either.
She still loves him. And he was always too afraid to hope she would do that.
It goes the same way it did the first time. There's a car, and the Zenin shove him in it. She's on the outside, and he's trapped within, and he wishes she didn't scream so loudly when it happens. The sound never seems to leave his dreams.
His sister still loves him. Naoya hits him in the back of the head. He wakes up, and it was like she was never there at all.
But they hit him harder, after. Like they're trying to beat the memory of her out of him. He has even less freedom, when he already had next to none at all.
But he still has a sister. He has a place to go that isn't here. He just has to figure out where that is.
He wouldn't really have anyone in the Zenin clan. Most people are just... weird about him. Naoya's violently abusive. Naobito's weird and violently abusive. Everyone wants him to be someone he's not.
Maki would be his favorite.
He doesn't care about whether she's got cursed energy--his sister didn't have any. And she's obviously strong. She doesn't treat him like a divine blessing or try to force him to act a certain way. I think they would have genuinely liked each other, but kept each other at a distance. They're both trapped in an abusive situation and keep themselves safe by keeping everyone else at arm's length.
He would have been happy to see her get out, though. He would have told her that she could have his spot as heir or head or whatever when she came back if she wanted it. She would have told him that if he ever got out... well, fuck it. They could be something then. Family. Whatever the fuck they weren't allowed to be here.
She would have told him she's sorry, and she would have meant it. The only one she she regretted more than Megumi was Maki. He would have told her not to be, that if she dared to be sorry for getting out that he would never forgive her, and he would have meant that too.
I think his relationship with his own techinque would be very different in a world where the Zenin raised him. In canon, his issue is that he doesn't view himself as someone who could be powerful or win in the long run, but in this world, all he ever hears is how powerful he is. Pride of the fucking Zenin. The most powerful of them in centuries. Meant to rival Gojo fucking Satoru himself.
I think his real issue would be controlling it.
His technique would be a source of negative associations for him. It's the reason why the Zenin took him away. Most of his interactions with it have involved getting beaten and hurt by either his family or a high-level curse they shoved him in front of. I think he'd have a lot more firepower under his belt than at the start of canon, but he'd have less of a fine tuned control over it.
He lost control over his own life because of his shadows. It think that would manifest in struggling to control his own shikigami at times. he's not as in-sync with them as he is in canon.
Eventually, he'd go to Jujutsu High. He would be the only one in the first year class at the beginning, just like in canon. And he'd finally meet Gojo Satoru, the man he's supposed to topple.
He looks at Megumi really goddamn weird.
He's... enthusiastic. About. Teaching. He guesses. And constantly asking prying questions about the Zenin, but not in the sort of way he'd expect from a rival. In the sort of way he'd expect from someone concerned about him. Which is stupid. And annoying. And weird. He keeps a distance from everyone. They've all heard about the Zenin clan heir, and he has no interest in having to fit or break whatever mold they've already cast him in. He's better off on his own.
Maki's there. She's cordial where other people can see it, and in private, she takes care of him in a way that's terrifyingly close to familial. He's not sure if he likes it. He's not Mai, and she's not Tsumiki, and they both want someone they can't have.
She isn't sorry she left. She is sorry she left him. He can hate her for it all he goddamn pleases.
Of course, if this is in the same world as the linked post, Megumi finds Tsumiki again. He finds her in Sendai.
He gets to keep her, this time.
Gojo Satoru, of all the goddamn people, intervenes and becomes his sister's benefactor. It's super fucking weird. He won't stop looking at Megumi strangely. He won't stop insisting that he didn't know he had a sister, like that matters.
That would sort of be the first time in a long time that life actually gets better for Megumi.
I think he would ask to go by Fushiguro again, once he asks Tsumiki what his name used to be. He'd ask her if she minded it, him taking the name again, and he'd ask the rest of the school to call him Fushiguro instead of Zenin.
Predictably enough, Naobito loses his shit when he finds out, but it's not nearly as big of a pain in the ass as he thinks it is? Because Gojo intervenes.
Gojo keeps intervening.
It drives Megumi nuts, because if anyone was supposed to hate him, it was this guy. If anyone was supposed to be against him, it was this guy. This is the guy he was supposed to rival. This is the guy who killed his shitheel bio dad.
Gojo's just... good to him. He keeps him safe. He keeps him safe from his own goddamn family, and that's--no one's ever done that. No one's ever protected him from the Zenin.
The Zenin try to remove him from the Tokyo campus and move him to Kyoto the second they find out Tsumiki's there, and Gojo just... says no. It causes an uproar, and he doesn't fucking budge. It's treading dangerously close to him kidnapping the Zenin clan heir, his refusal to let them remove him from the Tokyo campus, and he doesn't care about whatever problems it causes him.
Megumi's his student. He doesn't want to leave. So Gojo won't let them take him.
He personally goes to Kyoto and collects him, the one time the Zenin force him into a car and move him when Gojo's off on a mission. He tells the higher ups to get fucked. He changes Megumi's student I.D. to read Fushiguro, and he causes problems for Yaga and the assistants until they start calling him Fushiguro as well.
Megumi's different with the other students once his sister is there.
He's more connected with them. He becomes best friends with Kugisaki and Itadori. He gets closer with the second years. He's visibly happier, and it sort of casts in sharp contrast how unhappy he was before this.
And Gojo? Gojo's so goddamn sorry. He didn't know megumi had a sister.
The thing is that now that both Tsumiki and Megumi are on campus, it sort of haunts Gojo with what could have been. They're both fantastic kids--funny, smart, resourceful. And it's painful watching them try to rebuild what was taken from them. And it could have just. never happened. Because he could have saved them both. He could have been their family.
It's sort of painfully obvious the Zenin abused Megumi, and it fucking haunts him. He doesn't even have to read into Megumi's behavior--he sees it happen, right in front of him, with how they try to control him and push him around. He wants to kill them for it. He wants to hate himself for it. He could have saved Megumi and he just. He didn't.
He wishes he did.
#jjk#fushiguro megumi#fushiguro tsumiki#gojo satoru#zenin clan#zenin maki#also featuring in this au: itadori absolutely torn because his best friend's long lost brother is extremely pretty and he HAS to be in#violation of some kind of bro code. the boy is in crisis. there he is. enrolled in fucking wizard school. his best friend tsumiki finally#found her long lost brother. said long lost brother proceeds to give him his gay awakening. he's fucking sweating. kugisaki stop laughing#gojos latent desire for fatherhood has been violently awakened in this and no one is safe. he's everyone's dad now. no one wants this.#yuuta in africa: sensei it's three am why are you calling is everyone oka--what do you mean what color do I want you to paint my room. what#room. what are you talking about.#yuuta keeps getting the weirdest goddamn updates from japan and he thinks he's having a stroke. what do you mean zenin-kun is fushiguro-kun#and he has a fucking long lost sister and gojos possibly going to gently kidnap him. is it kidnapping if he wants it too but the people who#has custody of him doesn't. what do you mean he needs to come back and help maki kill her entire family. maki explain your words explain#yes word of god megumi is also yuutas boy in this one i decide this for no other reasons than i want this#it's not the same way as in sea glass gardens. Maki just said some worrying things when yuuta first met him and he decided to keep an eye#out for him. he didn't seem all that happy. and he seemed alone. yuuta didn't want him to be.#megumi's sort of blindsided because he went from being raised in a clan where he was barely a person to having a bunch of medically insane#people decide that his wellbeing was their personal crusade. like. no one ever cared about /him/ before this. they just wanted their idea#but not who he really was. he felt like he was screaming and no one could hear it. then suddenly these people he barely knows are like#okay so we're going to punch your shitty bio uncle and also set his car on fire. yes we will call you by the name that makes you most#comfortable. yes we will help you get a new wardrobe full of clothes you're actually comfortable in.#he hadn't heard his own name in years. he's just been the ten shadows. never fushiguro. only rarely megumi.#everyone calls him fushgiuro at the school. his sister calls him megumi. he sort of wants to cry about it but he doesn't.#his shitty uncle shows up and makes a big stink about him being called zenin and inumaki and panda keyed his car. is this what love is.#is it a keyed car.#Low key he does NOT know what's going to happen the first time the school goes on break because gojo keeps making comments about how#megumi's not going back to the zenin compound and he says it like a joke but. he may not be joking. is he not joking. is. is megumi being#kidnapped. again. this is getting statistically improbable. did gojo just. decide. to keep him. when did that happen.
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So.. I've seen a lot of people that saying Katsuki died while thinking of İzuku. I've even seen some people saying that Katsuki did not care what AFO said about he can never be more than İzuku. But when I read those chapters it seemed like he was thinking about how he can never surpass him like he always wanted to, rather than thinking about İzuku himself. When he realized he will die anyways, he desperately accepted the fact that he can never reach İzuku's level. And he accepted his admiration for him, knowing that he will always be superior than him, by his actions (thinking of how he made his movements and attacks etc.). So it felt like he STİLL puts his desire of 'becoming the best' above everything, it seemed like he died with that thoughts. I couldn't see any confirmation of him realizing some feelings for him.
Soo I would really like to know your oppinion about this. Do you have any counter evidence for this? I really wanna hear your thoughts ASAP. <3
Hello everyone! In this meta, I'll explain why the feelings Katsuki realises are romantic in chapter 362 and how bakudeku's relationship arc is intertwined with Katsuki's character development and provide anon evidence that supports this.
Anon: I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt here, that you genuinely need answers... so yes! I have a lot of points to make which I will now present to you! I think the problem you're struggling with is not identifying that Katsuki's character development has always been tied to his relationship with (and feelings for) Izuku.
My writer friend introduced me to literary concepts like internal and external relationship arcs that develop alongside a character's growth. Internal arcs involve emotions and relationships between the characters, while external arcs are influences on their relationship by outside forces, pushing them together or pulling them apart.
While character development arcs are about personal conflicts, both internal and external. In BNHA, these conflicts shape a character's quirk progress, understanding of heroism, motivations for performing well, and provide external obstacles which hinder them.
Katsuki's character arc is intrinsically tied to his relationship with Izuku. Overcoming his internal conflict of not recognizing "save to win" and addressing the source of this conflict, his lifelong issues with Izuku, were essential in his path to become a top hero. DvK2 served as both an outlet for Katsuki's negative emotions, and as an event that brought bkdk's relationship closer together by having Katsuki join in on their OFA secret. Their conversation with All Might also propels Katsuki's character development in the months after it.
So, anyway, as your ask suggests, Katsuki's "character arc" had always been about becoming the #1 top hero. Not being left in Izuku's, or ANYONE'S dust. Katsuki learning the qualities he was lacking to get to that point. Etc Etc.
However! As he thinks about Izuku's burdens, draws in closer to him, and they spend more time together, we see his character change into a more giving, caring person and he gradually overcomes his personal conflicts, with Izuku acting as his heart's north star.
An example of his change comes in chapter 358. Katsuki is thinking of his teacher and friends doing their part and that he now had to do his. Then he thinks of Izuku saving him from the slime villain and says something to sAFO that proves he is NOT the same character he was at the start of the manga: "Big disparities? Lack of understanding? Dread? I've long since been acquainted with all of this." I feel he is talking about his relationship with Izuku and his fear based emotions he has had (and still has) with him.
It was made clear that Katsuki's need to "stay ahead" is another one of his internal conflicts that's DIRECTLY TIED to his relationship with Izuku in chapter 275, when we see his thoughts about how he can barely keep up with Izuku, and that he won't be left behind.
He says he won't lose and he won't "let himself stay losing." Note that this isn't even about winning anymore. It's about not falling behind Izuku. The reason we know his desires to stay ahead were tied to his feelings for Izuku is because of the scene coupled together with it: his flash back of Izuku trailing behind him when they were kids.
The impression this left on me was that Katsuki had ALREADY swallowed his pride and selfish reasons to be his best self because his feelings towards Izuku had once again changed his priorities as a hero. In chapter 275, we see his ambitions had shifted from being ahead, to just being able to keep up enough to stay by Izuku's side. (and I'll talk more about this later.)
By linking their childhood memory to his feelings of "being left behind," Hori was telling us the only reason Katsuki ever wanted to stay ahead of Izuku to begin with, was so he would never have to see the day Izuku left him behind, leaving Katsuki ALONE. I don't know about you, but this seems like the setup of a romantic plot to me.
My feeling with this is that Katsuki has always loved Izuku and needed him in his life. But he buried those feelings deep inside himself and they hit him like a damn TRUCK after he realised how bad he had messed everything up that day in the river and everything he'd done to Izuku after it. That's why the volume 29 cover is what it is for the Katsuki Rising content. The image is full of love and acceptance, but also... regret.
To someone who doesn't understand that Katsuki's internal relationship with Izuku is interwoven into his character arc, I understand his feelings presented at his death may seem self-centred and platonic to you. But it just isn't true. Katsuki's character development and relationship development with Izuku are ABSOLUTELY linked together and always have been.
//anger//
At first Katsuki is angry at Izuku because of his misunderstandings and Izuku always having been the one person who didn't make him feel like he's the best. To Katsuki, who grew up in a quirk worshipping society, being a hero only meant possessing a strong quirk and the ability to defeat anyone and win. However, from an early age he recognised that Izuku had qualities that he didn't fully understand but knew he lacked. Izuku tries to save him, despite Katsuki being physically stronger than Izuku, and this just causes him to double down on his belief of winning at all costs. (Ironic that the event which made Katsuki feel hate towards Izuku, ultimately caused Izuku to love him even more.)
And as soon as he gets into U.A, his entire world view of himself is shattered as he suffers humiliating defeat after humiliating defeat; Losing his first proper fight against Izuku, not getting the fair battle with Todoroki he wanted so he could have a true victory against Izuku (because to Katsuki, beating the same Todoroki that beat Izuku equates to beating Izuku), being kidnapped, feeling responsible for ending AM's career, failing his provisional license exam... And as Katsuki watches Izuku get stronger and stronger, and further away from him, it makes him hate everything even more until the day he's had enough and grabs Izuku and lets it all explode out of him.
//guilt//
Then after DvK2, he realises he's deeply misjudged Izuku and he starts to feel guilty for everything he has ever done to him, and for what? Because he couldn't see his own weaknesses. He is told by All Might to recognise Izuku's strengths. So that's what he does and what does he say when he finally learns the importance of saving people, taken straight from the heart of the person closest to him who exemplifies this quality? "Just keep your eyes on me, shitty Deku." But his guilt towards Izuku sets off his atonement arc, and his rising concern for Izuku's cursed fate brings them together.
After witnessing Izuku hurt himself multiple times throughout their first year of high school and long before by his own hands, Katsuki's guilt reaches its peak when they both confront Shigaraki. As he's watching how badly Izuku will hurt himself to win, he recalls Izuku's words about being the 'Deku who always tries his best,' and Katsuki realises that Izuku had been overcompensating for being quirkless his whole life.
He understands that this may have been largely his fault and truly gets the impact of the horrible name he gave Izuku when they were kids. 'Deku' taken from 'deku no bou,' which is a doll without arms and legs and carries the meaning of "a useless person."
He remembers his conversation with All Might, who told him "he would be able to talk about it with Izuku one day" and when he sees his history with Izuku flash before his eyes, he knew that one day was never gonna come unless he did something! So he did something. He had a quirk awakening and saved Izuku's life at a cost to himself, fully embracing what it means to be a true hero. But not just any hero, Izuku's hero.
//acceptance//
Then his character reaches a point of understanding and acceptance of his feelings. He can no longer put up resistance to his relationship with Izuku anymore, and Izuku's absence causes Katsuki to realise he needs Izuku in his life, to be closer, and by his side. He accepts Izuku for all of his weaknesses and embraces him. He's also accepted how important it is to rely on others, and also be there for them in turn and teaches these things again, back to Izuku, quietly asking Izuku to lean on him if he needs help. He wants to be there for him.
So after his character arcs of hate, guilt, acceptance, all of which are tied to his feelings for Izuku, what naturally comes last for them?
//love//
Love, and Katsuki's acceptance of what is in his heart at his very end, in chapter 362. Because those are his feelings for Izuku now. A deep, powerful love that fills his heart completely.
And what I realised after talking about this with my friend, was that people who don't think bkdk will be romantic will only see what they want to see. That depending on their depth of understanding of their relationship, people are going to see Katsuki's actions and words as either part of his character arc to be #1, or as one massive leap in his relationship arc/feelings towards Izuku. Hori probably wrote it to be vague in this way, because the big bkdk reveal is not until the climax. He's a smart writer like this. Once Hori writes the context of these last moments for Katsuki being as intimate as they come, people will be like OH! oh.
In fact, anon, his desire to be good enough to keep up with Izuku is not lying in selfish thoughts/reasonings at all. It's quite the opposite. Katsuki wants to do his best so that he can stay by Izuku's side to help him. His ambitions to be the best hero might be a veil Hori placed here, but it's a very thin one, and we are able to read between the lines based on Katsuki's previous character development. He clearly wants to be stronger FOR Izuku's sake. His essence contains his love and acceptance for Izuku, need to stay by his side and help shoulder his responsibilities. We've long known that Katsuki doesn't want to leave Izuku alone to his burdensome fate.
What started off as a "positive change" relationship turned into a positive steadfast relationship arc. This was used specifically during Katsuki's fight against sAFO. sAFO told Katsuki that Izuku was the reason he was going to die, and what does Katsuki do? He remains loyal to him, and his resolve to love Izuku strengthens further.
The only thing that truly bothered Katsuki of all the things that AFO said to him was that he would never be good enough to stay by Izuku’s side. But we know exactly why that bothers him! Because of his internal arc and need to be by Izuku’s side for reasons that seem to be beyond platonic at this stage. He's been treating Izuku like an equal, a best friend... and a supportive spouse.
Because Katsuki hadn’t actually left Izuku’s side since their embrace in 322. He gravitates to him, to ease his anxieties and let him know he’s there for him multiple times, and Izuku reciprocates this by also walking over to talk to him a few times as well like after his Mei visit. Because by demanding closeness with Izuku in the discarding of his "Deku" name and embracing him, Katsuki had become Izuku's comfort person - someone to share his inner worries with. Izuku needs and trusts Katsuki, as well.
And Katsuki died with Izuku in his thoughts, brought about by things going on in his mind that we don't get to see, but can EASILY guess at: Izuku telling Katsuki he’s himself "because he never gives up until he wins" during their team-up against All Might.
Katsuki's answer to his flash back of this moment with Izuku was: “I gotta win, right Izuku?” and Hori showing him saying this gave us A LOT of information.
We are being told that this memory had always stuck with Katsuki and for him it was an important interaction with Izuku and that he understands he is being loved for this trait by Izuku. And by Katsuki getting back up despite his many devastating injuries and impending death that he knew was coming, he is accepting that love and wanting to receive even more of it by acting in the way Izuku most loves about him. Izuku's love is what comforted him during all of the physical and emotional trauma sAFO put him through.
Katsuki's character arc peaks at becoming a true hero, but it is stated by Hori in a way for people to know it is deeply tied into his feelings for Izuku. Katsuki got back up and told Best Jeanist to look after everyone, with the same amount of care Izuku has for others, and right after, Hori wrote "butsu butsu" (mutter mutter) next to Katsuki here, mimicking a trait of Izuku's he has always complained about. He displays Izuku's self sacrifice and even thinks of Izuku's pain. These things show the extent of which Katsuki's heart accepted and took all of Izuku into himself - thinking about Izuku grounded and comforted Katsuki in his final minutes. (+the All Might nerding at the end... yeah... their hearts are the same alright, thanks chapter 348. thanks Hori.)
And then finally Katsuki reaches out to Izuku and thinks “Hey Izuku, can I still catch up to you?” again a HUGE metaphor written for Bkdk's internal relationship arc. This can and should be read as “Hey Izuku, will my feelings ever reach you some day?” because Katsuki has always had a hard time communicating how he really feels and it’s only by facing certain death that he realised a lot of things about himself and Izuku, like the form his feelings of love take shape in.
pain pain pain pain pain reading this in japanese is painful
And the fact Katsuki is reaching out to Izuku with his hand implies that sometime before he died, he probably thought of Izuku coming to his rescue and trying to help him up like he's always done. The motivating message for Katsuki to fight harder to come back to life that was made on the back of volume 37 by Edgeshot once he was inside Katsuki’s heart and suddenly knew it was filled with his love for Izuku supports this. “Don’t give up, Dynamight!! (the one) you’ve been waiting for, He will… Deku will surely come!!” This quote and Katsuki's delirium tells us that his last wish was just to see Izuku's face once again.
I think that’s why he cried… because Katsuki knew Izuku wasn’t coming, he wouldn't make it in time, and Katsuki would die and then be used to hurt Izuku, just like sAFO said he would.
So in his delirium right before death, he is thinking of Izuku with a calm face and reaches out to take Izuku’s hand. And there is just NO WAY to see any of this as platonic. This is as romantic as it gets!
Woah this got LONG. Are you still with me anon? *sweats* If you are, I hope this could help you! And anyone else who read this <3 Also anon, you should check out my pinned post as it delves into their emotional feelings a bit as well.
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BTW, read this chart I added below - it's freaking EYE OPENING thinking about how BkDK have hit ALL of these romantic beats so far. We are now up to Climax: Internal Relationship Arc. ❤️
I expect that to come at around chapter 398-400ish, when Katsuki appears from inside OFA (Because we theorise that AFO will set Izuku off one last time with what he did to Katsuki. Theories are quite often wrong, but I don't want to believe that those horrifying chapters of Katsuki being toyed with and humiliated until he died had no purpose other than to traumatise us Katsuki stans. Surely we were seeing it in place of Izuku, channelling how it would make him feel. After all, Izuku is the biggest Katsuki stan of all - he's gonna see it.)
#bakudeku#bkdk CANON#asks#kana writes#and doesn't stop *sweats*#Kacchan loves deku#Deku loves kacchan#bnha meta#must read meta#long post#for everyone else: at least check the chart at the bottom IT'LL CHANGE YOUR LIFE
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I am now in my third week of period so if I commit any crime I can't be charged with anything 🤷
#it's not really painful because I don't even know what my uterus is pushing#however hormonally I'm starting to losing it#im sweating like crazy#and also the pads are fucking itchy#anyway#never trust the 'oh skip placebo week'#it doesn't fucking work#i have a fucking messy hormonal cycle#not even the pill can fight that#i think at this rate i will have my period for the entire month till i have the proper fake week#and then hopefully it'll come back to normal#to whoever said you can 'stop your period when you want with the pill'#FUCK YOU#also im starting to feel the actual migraine making a comeback#but idk#might be the anxiety since i have to come back to work in two days...#really happy to come back with on the top of that a three week period#somebody please throw my uterus and my entire hormonal system to the trash and ship it to Oceania#fucking hell#misc
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DAX is just so expressive ♥ (Patreon)
#My art#SCII#Damned#DAX#Lol#Have I mentioned I love him lately#As if I ever stop talking about how much I love any of them lol#Okay but genuinely these were really nice as warmups they were really easy to just knock out one by one#He's very expressive as Dexter! *handwaves about human neurochemistry and expressions* lol#I had to make his Neutral look extra dead inside to make up for the rest haha#Funnily enough I have actually been watching a series of streams of like VAs and visual artists and writers and stuff#And they are constantly uptalking 2D talksprites as mood-setters for dialogue#So it was really fun to make these with that in the back of my head like ''Yeah! :D They /are/ good at that!''#Very cool expressive medium :D#See if you can spot the first drafts for a few of these :3c#I'll give you a hint: Scared and Sad(? Regretful ig lol) were from some posted doodles#His grumpy one was also a doodle but I didn't post it so it doesn't count lol#Oh yeah and and a lot of these had little accessories like the fear bursts and the little sigh bubble lol I just...forgot them here lol#They're there in spirit please feel the grump lines and sweat drops in your heart <3#I had a heck of a time trying to keep his face consistent with different angles lol aren't VUX nervous to move their necks me#Just gotta actually get into 3D modeling properly smh#I keep finding myself wanting to make more now that this set's done but I'm not sure what expressions! Confused? Focused? He's so subdued#Oooh he'd suit an expression meme wouldn't he <3 Now there's an idea#Might even open an ask game for that if I can find a good one :3c Hehehe
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ok I have to do yard work today so who is fueling my Toji gardener fantasy
#I'm his hoe *gets shot*#neighbor Toji who has a lot of time to kill since his hitman job only takes up a few days each month#he offers to help with your yard. but like he also just kinda does stuff while he's at it- like if he's mowing his lawn he'll just continue#you always come out and offer him water and snacks. 'you don't have to do this for me' you say#but he just brushes it off. of course he doesn't but he wants to fuck you#you start inviting him to spend time in the backyard he so carefully grooms. it's not long before he doing all your yard work#and while he does that you're cooking for him like a sweet little housewife. he has to stop himself from dragging you in for a deep kiss#when you ask if he wants a glass of lemonade....#or maybe he doesn't stop himself. kissing you as he pins you against the door#'got all the sweetness i need right here' he mumbles. pushing his tongue into your mouth. tasting you#he smells like sweat and grass trimmings yet you can't help gripping those big biceps. gasping into the kiss........#ugh i need him
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in my fanfiction era and by that I mean mostly reading I've read at least 70% of all 200 buttsoup fics on ao3.. but 2day we are drawing scenes from fanfiction because this ppkm first kiss scene from the fic 'Maybe I'm Not All You Thought' has had an iron grip on me for the past 5 days
#ppkm#butterfly soup#sketchbook#guys i'm still learning how to draw kiss. okay. mouths are hard. look away a little.#fun art process explanation here i drew this in my sketchbook and then just took a picture of it and threw that in csp and added values...#because the white of a sketchbook page doesn't particularly lend itself to a nighttime scene... so. necessary.#will i do this again? who knows! yesterday I read a fic that so wholly made me insane that I didn't stop thinking about it for hours#and then re-read it 4 times despite the fact that it was 30k+ words.#so perhaps that will overtake me soon and I'll draw somthin from that one too. u never know. I'm so mentally ill.#what is the. erm is there proper etiquette if uou draw someone's fanfiction sweat emoji.#ao3 user akarshasflipflop hi sorry your fic has made me insane also I forgot to check if akarsha's hair was up or down in this scene#roi draws
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Thinking abt cole's way of watchfulness,,, its progression and origins,,, the way it is embedded so deep into his behavior that it's subconscious,
#ooc;; mun barks#sjfhdo my queue is emptying soon i havent been on here in days [sweats]#But Sight is so?? Very important for him#Which results in a lot of things including just how fcking readable he is when he was a kid before he makes a bad decision#How his eyes flick with intention and tells in this snap decision way before he learns to be sweeping#He didn't like blindfolds for a very long time -- similar reaction to people getting touchy with his face#kid gets quiet and you can see the tension jerking in his jaw - plowing rigid lines into his shoulders (23 yr old agent mccree will bite u)#These days at 39 the older dog will probably fall asleep in one like its a sleep mask :skull:#He always knew to watch bc his parents taught him to watch - u had to watch and read the animals and u had to watch and read people#And then it was hypervigilance in his orphanhood - this scrappy cobbled together thing of sitting in corners near back exits and scoping#building to something pointed throughout his gang career and justified further by BW - utilized and weaponized#But at some point he stopped looking when it came to people he learned to trust (and looked in a different way; looked in a loving way)#And i am thinking of his return to overwatch and how that hypervigilance returns in a way he doesn't like towards ppl he dont want to be#that way with and how#They're fleeting tells - the way he favors his prosthetic arm towards walls - brief tension to touch -#watching (even in that lazy way of his) but still watching#He relapses in the desert - forgets and remembers both at once
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sweaty boy
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i am at this point very certain that i am legitimately, actually cursed. the only degree to which this is metaphorical is that there's not a word for it that doesn't imply supernatural means, instead of ones that can be explained by science but haven't been yet.
#moogletalks#venting#negative#like. i have much; much; much evidence by now that this isn't a mental illness thing#it doesn't do my related mental illness/trauma stuff any favors!#and it's actually something that over the last few years has *motivated* me to put a lot of good work into addressing that#but this particular pattern has been escalating over the last few years in particular#and by now is a hundred percent reliable#it happens like clockwork in very specific ways that i have observed over and over and over#to the point where i will calmly and in full practicality mode say 'i am going to pay for this before long' and every time i do i am right#when that doesn't occur to me; it happens and i get blindsided by it#and then after a few minutes tops of thinking about it i can go 'god damn it i know exactly what caused this one'#this is happening. it is a fact. and i'm so fucking exhausted of not having words for it or knowing what the mechanism is#fucking i hate this. anyway my health condition from a few months ago has flared up again even worse than before#in retaliation for exactly the same *things* as before#and this time i'm at significantly higher risk for becoming quadruplegic!#and last night in retaliation for a particular thing that had happened less than 24 hours beforehand i've stopped sweating!#and i don't know if it will be permanent!#and as proof that it's in direct proportion to what it's retaliating against#a smaller; less life-changing hope spot than the things that've been retaliated against w/ Extreme Shit; which happened within the last week#led to me finding one of my fish dead the next afternoon#i am not kidding or exaggerating about this. It's Happening#medical stuff cw#health issues cw#pet death cw
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i should fucking be asleep but instead
Cheese Opinions
there are So Many Good Cheeses in the world
Howmever
gruyere? Gross.
gouda? Gross.
AMERICAN?! DISGUSTING.
okay that is all.
#also i've never had any bleu cheeses and i never plan to bc OCD and twitchiness on my part#but they have now been described for me as mild and creamy with SPICINESS from the mold#and quite frankly if my cheese is gonna be spicy I'D LIKE THAT TO BE FROM CAPSAICIN AND NOTHING ELSE#gimme a pepper jack over a bleu cheese any day please#anyway goat cheese sheep cheese all delicious unless they are made into varieties similar to the above#cheddars? fantastic as are cheeses such as haloumi#brie is passable like it's not FANTASTIC but it's nice like IN things#anyway also DO NOT SMOKE MY CHEESES!!!! LET THEM BE CHEESE! DO NOT SMOKE THEM LIKE THE MEATS!!!!#i HATE smoked cheeses that is SO UNNECESSARY#if i wanted smoky flavor i would simply put the cheese ON A SMOKED PIECE OF MEAT#fucking foolishness over here fucking smoking your cheeses STOP THAT#anyway gruyere and gouda are Disgusting to me i'm sorry idk why meanwhile regular swiss cheese is basically fine#oh provolone is Nice for sandwiches as well#also if you're like bUT WHAT ABOUT FANCY AND GOOD AMERICAN CHEESE there is no such thing#i'm not just opposed to kraft singles i am opposed to ALL OF IT#i am JUDGING YOU if american cheese is your favorite (judging you in a playful but also serious way that ultimately doesn't affect you)#(like seriously don't sweat it i mean it but also it doesn't affect anything in life or btwn us except for cheese conversations y'know?)#ANYWAY that is all for now#oh no wait that's not all FETA IS SO DELICIOUS I SIMPLY CANNOT BELIEVE!!!!#cream cheese counts for me btw it's fucking delicious and perfect and tangy#ricotta is....acceptable#mozzarella my beloved FRESH mozzarella by BETROTHED#oaxaca and other such cheeses.....amazing#even some string cheeses are p good#but also as a child if you gave me a ball of fresh mozzarella cheese i would simply Eat The Whole Thing#the texture? unbeatable. the flavor? perfectly mild AND tangy. the satisfaction of tearing off pieces? TOP TIER.#all this to say there are endless other options for cheeses available that are so much better than the above ESPECIALLY american so WHY?!?!
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if Rika was still there what do you think her reaction to yuuta's totally normal feelings about Megumi would be?
At best I can imagine him being that yappy dog that your best friend has who you don’t like all that much but you begrudgingly take care of because it would make your friend Sad if something happened to their suicidally stupid dog and it causes you endless stress because for some reason every single big motherfucker of a dog that sees it immediately wants to tear it up like a brand new chew toy and the stupid yappy dog won't stop fighting them back. fucksake stop DOING that
#sea glass gardens#Rika doesn't like him because she doesn't like anyone but yuuta#but she respects that yuuta does not want him hurt and will save the idiot creature for yuuta's continued happiness#megumi is confused as to why rika rises from the fucking shadows and cradles him in her giant cthulhu claws whenever he tries to fight#she's like cursing him out for being stupid and trying to put him somewhere safe and far away and megumi's like#uhhh okkotsu senpai can yo#tell your friend to stop trying to put me in boxes for safekeeping#yuuta's just. sweating.#megumis giving every eldritch horror around heart palpitations#sukuna tries to save him and Rikas already there chewing on drywall from stress
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no more government id systems i want to wander around taking odd jobs under fifty different names and not ever think the words "biometric verification"
#the name change saga continues#my social security card was supposed to be here. a week ago.#and don't even get me started on fuckign p a s s p o r t s#if the government doesn't want my id photo to be me drenched in sweat from a 1.5 hour bike ride#then they should stop taking money from the auto industry like chumps
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oh no oh fuck what happened to tumblr is my computer just fucking up or did the site actually change pleasetellmemycomputerfuckedupi'msostressedrightnowihatethis
#now there have been two (2) minor to others but major to my autistic ass changes today#one is that genshin impact fucking changed their party setup layout and i very much despise the new one i loved the old one it was perfect#and so neat and had everything you needed and then they CHANGED IT and i feel like crying everytime im reminded#because that fucking shit is my comfort game i love it so much and then they had to go and make it changed and new and uncertain#the autism goblin freaked out so hard earlier but fontaine soothed it a little because yay !! new place to explore !! i love exploring !!#key word: a little#AND NOW THIS SHIT WITH THE HELLSITE AGAIN#ADMINS#PLEASE#STOP CHANGING SHIT#YOU'RE STRESSING THE FUCK OUT OF THE AUTISM GOBLINS#i look at the layout and i just feel like crying and rocking back and forth so hard ohmygod its actual real pain im not even exaggerating#its like someone's showing me a recording of something so viscerally wrong in every conceivable way that my eyes feel as if they're being#stabbed and i break out into a cold sweat and i'm in actual fucking pain right now why is being autistic so fucking PAINFUL always#give it a week of slowly introducing it to my brain like how you introduce a new cat to your other cats and i'll get used to it#but that doesn't matter right now i would rather step on legos for a minute straight i hate it so much i am in so much fucking mental pain#hjgshgdsuygdsyudghjdgsjdfgdsgdjdf#autism#neurodivergent#actually autistic#asd#its the neurodivergency#actuallyautistic#neurodivergencies#actually adhd#being autistic#adhd#genshin impact#tumblr staff#bad staffelstein
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cw. megumi x reader , stomach bulge , tummy pressing , size kink
Right now, Megumi has his grab on your thighs, blunt nails digging into soft flesh, thumbs circling pink bites on the inner sides. It's a routine that's starting to become familiar. Your hips are slightly lifted up from the bed, and he really cant explain why, but when he can see the outline of his dick through your stomach, he absolutely loses it.
You were horrified at the sight when you first saw it, but Megumi on the other hand? He was turned on the most he's been in his entire life.
He just loves pressing on the bulge in your little tummy. Its addicting—watching you squirm and whine and protest with little results. Seeing the way you cant decide if you want to stray from his touch or arch further into it. Loving how big his dick is compared to you.
"Fuck baby," he breathes out in awe. "See that? Feel it? Can you feel my cock deep inside you?" He groans as he pulls out all the way just to slam back into you, starting a fast, rough pace that doesn't seem to let up and makes the sound of sticky arousal totally embarrassing.
A hand retreats from where it's holding up your thigh to grab one of your own hands, wrestling the grip you have on crumpled sheets and guiding it down to your stomach.
"Wha- nghh, M'gumi, don't—!" A long, drawn out moan escapes your lips before the rest of your complaint can. Your hand is trembling, and too weak to escape his grab.
"C'mon sweet girl, don't you like how full I can make you feel?" He coos.
Your head falls to the side, attempting to push your face into the soft pillows, "N-noo... feels so weird..." The drawn out nature of your words make you sound unsure. Megumi doesn't believe that you don't like it, because oh, he knows you do.
"Awwh... you sure you don't like it, baby?" He says, faux innocence laced in his sweet tone. You pout. You know what he's doing to you, and hes so wrong for it. He leans in closer, tilting his head, teasing you so you get all embarrased—hot and flustered. "I should just pull out then if it's too much."
You shake your head so fast you almost get dizzy, unable to form any coherent words. Only small uh-uh's make it past your moans.
It's too hot. Megumi is so, very close to you right now. You're able to feel the radiating warmth of his body, his breath against your ear. With the added weight of his teasing, it becomes far too invading. You bury your face deeper into the pillows.
When you get like that, the heat always pressures you into spilling whatever you don't want to say—always. You make for a terrible, terrible liar.
"What about when I do it like this?" You face him again with curiosity. Your brows are furrowed, sweat beads down your hairline. Glossy eyes search his face in confusion in the cutest way ever before dilating in panic.
He adds more pressure and forces your hand harder onto your stomach, closing the little distance seperating the two of you to kiss you sloppily. You make a noise of shock, whining as he continues to knead your hand onto it.
Your cries melt back into the sound of pleasure, moaning into the kiss, your whining dying down.
When he pulls back theres drool collecting at the corner of your mouth. You're red in the face, eyes averting in shame 'cause you really do like it when he presses on your tummy like that. "Tell me how much you love it," he taunts.
When you're like this, you're able to feel all of him. Able feel every single thrust just grazing your cervix, senses going into overdrive as you subconsiously stop trying to fight his hold on your hand with the little to no strength you were using to begin with.
"I, hahh, love it! Love your cock s-so much! Feel so full... hah- aah—!" With one last thrust, your back arches, core unraveling around his length. Walls tightening, spasming in a way that makes Megumi spill all his praises. As your chest heaves heavily, your abdomen flexes and tightens, revealing the silhouette of your boyfriend's cock stuffed inside of you even clearer now.
The corner of his mouth quirks up in pride, "I bet you do, baby. I fuckin' bet."
He really should start doing this more often.
#jjk megumi#jjk smut#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen megumi#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu megumi#megumi fushiguro#megumi fushiguro x reader#megumi smut#megumi x y/n#megumi x reader#megumi x you
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Toji can't ignore the sounds of your moans and whimpers through the wall. He's sitting on the couch, in the living room, unable to do anything about it, because you're still mad at him, and he's frustrated as hell, because he's so painfully hard, that he can see his dick twitching against the front of his sweats. He refuses to take care of it himself when he knows you're only a room away. To his convenience, you're already in the mood—clearly—but to his inconvenience, you're punishing him. You're scattering his name into your moans to throw salt in the wound, to really make it unbearable, and truthfully, it's getting to him.
Toji reached his limit when he heard you let out a sharp gasp, followed by the sound of those cries you let out when you cum hard. He strides over to your shared bedroom, opening the door to reveal your naked lower body, and your tank top scrunched up over your chest. His breath hitches, the throbbing in his pants intensifying as he rakes his eyes over your frame and absorbs the entire sight of you.
"You're really gonna get yourself off to the thought of me, when i'm right outside?" His incredulous tone doesn't do a good job of hiding the desperation that led him to barge into the room where you're splayed out so indecently.
"Mhm..." you hum, blissfully. You release a heavy, satisfied sigh. "That's exactly what I just did, 'cause you're on a time out," you say, tugging your shirt back down and pulling up your underwear, before sitting up to search for your shorts. "Don't worry. I finished. I'm done torturing you."
He can't let it be over. This normally wouldn't be enough to satisfy you. From what he heard, it seems like you only came once.
"Baby, no," he almost whines. He's outwardly desperate for you, having gone way too long without being allowed to touch you intimately. "Let me. Please," he says, climbing onto the bed. His hands make contact with the skin of your bare legs and glide over the length of your shins, continuing their way up to part your thighs to make room for him to wedge himself between them.
"I did what you asked of me. Said I was sorry and repeated after you to call myself dumb." It was such a silly moment that made the storm in your mind subside for a minute or two.
Toji resists the urge to smile when he sees you suppressing the curl of your own lips. His hands go to your waist, not stopping there. The warmth of his palms travels up your edges, meeting the sides of your breasts and briefly palming the tops of them, in order to get to your shoulders. He grips your shoulders, using them as leverage to guide you back down to the bed. Focus is embedded into his features as he takes the thin material of your shirt between his rough fingertips and peels it off your skin until he reveals the gorgeous view of one of his favorite parts of your body.
Like a domestic cat, he lays his body on you, and plants his face between your breasts. It doesn't take long for him to begin appreciating your chest, pressing multiple slow kisses to your skin. He's basking in the softness you withheld from him.
"What else do you want from me, doll?"
You let out a small, quiet sigh, through your nose. You feel a little irritated with yourself for not even putting up a fight against his affection. You always say you're not going to let him touch you for a certain amount of time, as punishment for the dumb things he does, and yet somehow it always ends up this way—him nuzzling into your chest.
"I want you to stop being a jealous maniac," you say, the words coming out softer than you intended them to, as you welcome defeat and run your fingers through his soft, dark locks.
"Mm-mm, anything but that," he responds, muffled by your warm skin. His hands caress your body, rubbing your waist and massaging your hips in a manner that would induce relaxation under different circumstances. You can't let yourself fall into that comfort until you've talked things out.
"Toji, you flashed your gun at someone who mistook me for somebody else." You attempt to keep yourself composed in order to communicate the issue efficiently. There's no need to raise your voice when you have him right there, lying comfortably on your chest.
"Mhm, I did that," Toji confirms, before planting a soft kiss on the inner side of your right breast. "The dickwad must have been real blind if he had to get so close." He feels your chest rise with a deep inhale, then hears you let out the breath. With that, he knows you're still upset and he has to further elaborate on his actions. "He had his filthy paws on you and everything. I did what I thought was best to get him to fuck off."
You hum in mere acknowledgment. "Uh-huh, that's definitely the way to go about it. God forbid you verbalize your discomfort before threatening to use a bullet."
You feel a warm puff of air on your chest, similar to the sigh you let out, but less audible, and then a kiss directly between your breasts.
"I was right next to you, ma. He was looking at you in a way that he shouldn't have been. He looked at you the same way that I look at you. You don't need that from anyone else. And that stupid ass thing he said about supposedly feeling like he's seen you somewhere? He clearly said it to get a good look at you from up close."
"You really are insane, aren't you?" You ask, rhetorically, stilling the hand that's on the back of his head.
"Doll, I hate the idea of pulling the gun out in front of you. I don't ever wanna have to use it and scare you in the process, but he was actively trying to steal you from me. If he were just ogling you from afar, I might've acted differently, but he touched you. He fucking touched you. Who does shit like that?"
Toji can feel his blood boiling again, so he refocuses on your chest. He doesn't want to think about what happened anymore, when he's in his happy place, where he knows he belongs.
"Alright, Toji. Take a deep breath." You softened your voice to simmer down his emotions. You resumed the movement of your fingers carding through his hair, aiding him in calming down more.
He does as you say and releases a heavy breath. It's riddled with his discontented feelings. "You're supposed to be mine," he mumbles, before finally latching his lips around your nipple.
Toji needs reassurance, too. Him being an attractive, enormous, hulking man, has nothing to do with how secure he feels around you, his lover. It's easy to think that because he manages to turn heads wherever he goes, that he'll be fine when you get those same reactions, but the way you have him now, is proof that insecurity can reach even him. He needs to know that he's not going to lose you so easily, especially to someone as ridiculous as the man who managed to unsettle him.
You look down at him as he takes all the comfort he needs from your chest. "I'm all yours, Toji. You're the only one who will ever get a pass for that kind of psychotic behavior."
He hums, releasing your breast, before resting the side of his face down on your chest. "You make it sound like i'm toxic towards you."
Your chest jumps as you laugh, a gesture that makes Toji lift his gaze to look at you. Your expression managed to make him lighten up a little more.
"You're crazy, but I love you, regardless."
He groans, the sound cushioned by your soft skin. You're the one thing that holds up his sanity, yet somehow you're also the one who tests it by saying things like that to him.
"Let me have you," he says, his kisses beginning to trail up, towards your neck. "Please, let me have you, mama."
"Are you gonna keep threatening people when you get jealous?" You ask, your lips curling as be continues to kiss your delicate skin.
"Mhm," he confirms. "Like I said and you said," he speaks, into your neck, "you're mine. If people don't know it, i'll make sure they get it on the first go. There's no need to make mistakes."
You laugh. "Your possessiveness is intense."
"You're not a joke, to me," he says, looking at you. His expression is as serious as what he just said.
You grab the rolled up fabric of your shirt, with the intention of covering yourself. The ambience has gone more serious and it feels wrong to be so exposed in the moment.
"Don't cover yourself, yet. I want you, baby. Please." His knuckles graze your cheek, affectionately. Despite your chest being out on full display, his attention is centered on your face. He's reading your expression. You were laughing a few seconds ago and now you're as still as him.
"Be nice to me. I don't want you to be rough, this time." It's back to back gentleness with the way your voice reaches him and your smile manages to soothe the remaining sting he's feeling. It's like you're showing him the way you want him to handle you. "I'm yours, Toji. No amount of speed or aggression from your body against mine, will have an impact on the fact. Okay?"
He keeps his eyes on you for a couple more seconds, like he's letting your words sink in and fully envelop him. He repositions his hand, so that he's cupping your cheek, and a couple slow strokes of his thumb against your skin gave him the courage to lean down and kiss you. The second his lips meet yours, he wants more. Infinitely more. He's chasing kiss after kiss from you, utterly drunk on the feeling of your hands pulling him closer by his shirt. He'll consume you, at this point.
"Hm?" You hum, still awaiting his response.
"Got it, baby," he says, before connecting his lips to yours once more. He peppers the rest of your face with kisses, luring giggles from you at the barrage of affection.
This isn't the first time Toji has been revoked of his 'you privileges', and gotten them back, instantly. This has occurred many times in the years that you've been together. Going into a relationship with him, you never thought he'd be the jealous type, much less the type who would threaten someone's life over getting overly cozy with you. The first time he pulled something similar to this, it was a little frightening. You knew he kept a gun on him sometimes, but you figured it was strictly for life or death situations.
You were wrong.
Some weirdo was getting too comfortable with you, hand wrapped around your wrist and all. You clearly remember Toji being visibly bothered, because someone thought they could just swoop in and steal your focus from him. He watched for a minute or two as the man took in your beauty and complimented you on every aspect of your appearance. He really did his best to get you to follow him to his table, and though Toji thought the whole thing was a pathetic attempt, he couldn't help the feelings that began to bubble up as the man squeezed your arm. Toji did a dog whistle to grab the man's attention, and when he looked, he lifted his shirt, just enough to show the grip of his gun. Your stomach twisted and you felt like your heart was going to lurch out of your chest. The stranger just stood there for a second, looking at Toji, condescendingly, as if to insinuate that he knew he was bluffing, and when Toji reached for and grabbed ahold of the gun's handle, that same cocky man paled. He didn't even have to pull out the whole gun—the man had walked away by the time he had the grip in his hand— but you remained worried that he would notify someone about what happened, so you and Toji left.
To this day, Toji still scares people that way when he notices them invading your space in a manner that doesn't sit right with him. You're not scared anymore, when he does it, but the frustration of having to ditch wherever you are, in fear of being ratted out by whoever Toji threatened? It's still there, and you feel it every time. You know he does it out of love for you, but sometimes you wish he would take a second to talk to you, before he even thinks of hurting someone.
Toji has kissed your entire torso, by now. Your chest wasn't exempt from his attention, despite the amount of time he already spent on it. If anything, he refined the love he gave it with purposeful movement and significance towards every spot his lips brushed.
He nears your lower abdomen, wet kisses placed beneath your navel, going lower and lower until you can feel his breath being filtered through the front of your underwear. His hands go beneath the elastic band, cupping your hips without restriction as he kisses your clothed pelvis.
Your breathing picks up the slightest bit when his lips meet your slit through the thin layer. His tongue comes out and he does an experimental swipe of it against the fabric. You feel the space immediately heat up, from your arousal and from the warm wetness of his tongue, itself.
"Stay still for me, mama," he murmurs, kissing your inner thighs after spotting the quiver in them. "You nervous?" He asks, with a small curl of his lips.
"Of course, I am." You look into his eyes as you confirm it. You love him so dearly, that even after the years you've spent together, you still feel lightning coursing through you when he has you this way. This electric feeling doesn't prevent you from letting yourself enjoy what he gives you, nor does it hinder you from touching him and making him feel good. You don't become more hesitant towards him, because by now, you're well aware that your love for him coexists with butterflies. They reside in you, and are able to be lured out by him at any instant, despite your knowledge of the fact that he would gladly be someone's cause of death if they don't keep themselves in check around you.
"Love you," he says, kneading your hips as he leans in to press a few more warm kisses to your thinly veiled cunt. His eyes dart up to your face when you don't respond—he's a little lost on why you didn't say it back— until he sees how despite the way you just admitted to your nerves, he has you entirely at ease. You have a hand flat on the sheets, occasionally moving against the material beneath it, while your other hand rests on your stomach. Your chest is steady and your attention is on the ceiling, your expression serene—ethereally so.
His hands run down your hips, warm palms squeeze and feel up your thighs, gaining your eyes on him again. "You're not gonna say it back?" He asks, his voice deep enough to make the ache between your legs just that much more intense.
"You already know I do," you say, contrasting his demeanor with a giggle. He looks like a needy puppy with that glint that presents itself in his eyes.
"Mhm, doesn't mean I don't wanna hear it, again, or do you not love me, right now?"
You're caught by surprise with that one, a small, almost inaudible gasp, leaving you at the words. "I love you all the time, Toji. I love you now and I loved you earlier when I was pissed. It's not going away."
He's a little more impatient for you, now. His movement doesn't speed up, but his heartbeat is in his ears, and there's a tremble in his hands as he reaches for the elastic of your underwear. He pulls the garment down, wanting to smell and taste you more clearly. His cock jumps at the sight revealed. You're still so wet. He lets out a shuddered breath, now that your lower half is completely bared for him. His mouth comes closer and closer and his tongue comes out, making contact with your throbbing cunt for the first time.
"Toji." The sound is soft—unexaggerated—as his tongue laps at your warmth, tasting the sweet wetness that coats it. He could stay like this for hours, worshipping your entire body, while you touch him and gift him the prettiest sounds ever. He can't get enough of you, which is why when it looks like you're going to close your legs, he pins them down, entirely. His hands splay over your thighs and he keeps them there, because he isn't going to fight to give you the pleasure you deserve. He'll love on you until your body is begging him to stop, because he knows that your mouth can be misleading, at times.
He's taking it slow, just like you wanted him to. The most stimulation comes from him lightly sucking on your clit for brief moments at a time, just to hear your moans get the slightest bit louder. Every time he releases your sensitive pearl, he goes back to running his tongue through your drooling slit, the tip of the muscle nudging your clit, causing it to throb with need. Each graze of the wet warmth, makes you wonder if you should ask him to go faster, though you were the one who asked for this gentleness. You don't want to seem indecisive or come off as doubtful that he can make you cum this way. You know he can, but god, you want so much more. You feel like you're the one who's going insane with every flick of his tongue.
"That good, mama? Or do you want it slower?" He gives you a teasing smirk. Toji knows how you are. You say you want him to be soft and gentle with you, but when the time comes, you want more than what's given to you. You delve into greediness as seconds turn to minutes. You both have nowhere to be. Time is yours, and Toji intends to take advantage of that. He's going to fulfill your needs the way you want him to, but that doesn't mean he loses awareness of your little ticks. He feels the small twitches of your legs beneath his hands every time you feel his nose bump into your clit just before it gets hit by his tongue. He sees the way your hips sink into the mattress and your body quivers when they rise, again.
"G-Good. Don't go any slower," you respond, holding your voice as steady as possible.
"Mm... Faster?" He asks, his tone so calm yet sultry, that you can't tell if he's patronizing you. He doesn't miss the way light flashes, briefly, through your features. In an instant, you regain your composure. A simple hum is offered in response—a wordless brush off of his suggestion. The sound makes Toji smirk. How stubborn of you.
"I won't hold it against you," he says, pressing a kiss to the crease that joins your pelvis and your thigh, leaving an echoing feeling of need in your core. "Just say the word, ma." He presses more kisses to your skin, as if he's trying to persuade you to let him devour you.
"Mm-mm, this is good."
It's not what he's trying to get out of you, but he can keep going until you're hanging on by a measly thread.
He continues on with that same pace—licking, suckling, prodding—so gently, luring the cutest little mewls from you. It took a little longer, but eventually, your body started trembling with impending release.
"I'm gonna- Toji," you cry, tightening your fists around the sheets as he slowly circles his tongue over your clit, focusing on it entirely. Your moans grow needier and needier as you near the edge through such delicateness. The anticipation is killing him. He wants you to be louder. You wouldn't hate him for bringing you more pleasure, would you? It's a risk he's willing to take.
Without another doubt, he's messily making out with your cunt, causing more of your sweet nectar to drool out at a more rapid pace. Your breath hitches, a sharper rendition of his name cried out. Your hand reaches downward and grabs a fistful of his hair, tugging on it as he continues to ravage you. Your moans sound absolutely filthy. He doesn't detach his mouth from you for a single second. His hands finally release their pin on your thighs, allowing you to fully suffocate him when they shut around his head. His arms hook around your thighs, a harsh grip on them to keep you from scooting away from his relentless mouth when you cum. It's another strong, orgasm, that has you arching your back off the mattress and squirming as he continues devouring you through the intense sensation. Your hips roll in an attempt to get more of his mouth on you. Only when you start whimpering and attempting to twist out of his hold, does he ease up. He goes back to the original pace, soft kitten licks through your slit to lap up every drop of your sweetness, earning small twitches from your body, due to the sensitivity you feel.
You release the hold you have on his hair and relax your legs, unbending them and letting them fall comfortably on the bed. He finishes you off with a few kisses, thin strings of his saliva and your cum sticking to his lips, before snapping every time he loses contact with your cunt. His warm palms caress your thighs—a comforting gesture, as your sounds come to a halt and all that is heard is your breathing.
"You're so impatient," you playfully chide, a breathy laugh following.
"You wanted more," he responds, one more kiss placed on you before he licks his lips clean. "I'm really good at reading you."
"Yeah? You think so?" You ask, a teasing grin on your face.
"I know so," he responds. "Wouldn't it just be the worst if we've been together this long, and I didn't know almost everything about you, by now?" He repositions himself, now sitting on his knees to start ridding himself of his own clothes.
You manage a hum and a nod as you watch Toji pull off his shirt.
"Good thing that's not the case, and I do know basically everything about you. Down to the way your body reacts to me— the signals you create that let me know you're gonna cum all over my tongue, when your pretty mouth can't form words."
"So vulgar," you say, through flustered giggles.
"You can take it, mama," he teases, a smirk growing on his lips as you watch him pull off his sweats. His eyes stay on yours, as he kicks them off, letting them slide off the bed and onto the floor, before crawling back between your legs. You can feel his clothed hard-on pressing against your core as he takes your lips in his again. He's addicted to the feeling of your warm body against his.
His hands come down to cup your waist, his fingers molding into the soft flesh with every squeeze they offer. He pauses the make out, small breaths leaving him.
"Baby," he says, his voice almost a whisper, his lustfully darkened eyes narrowed on your starry ones. "I'm gonna kill the next person who hits on you in front of me." He goes back in for a few more quick kisses. "I'm not joking. I can't keep sparing them."
"Shh... All yours, Toji," you murmur, softly, pulling him back in to continue the flow of kisses. Your hand goes to the nape of his neck, the other settles on his shoulder. You hear him groaning quietly into the kisses as he continues grinding his hips into yours.
"Fuck, doll," he groans, pausing his lips on yours once again. "I need you."
You laugh, a warm sound that just adds on to his desire to have you. "So, take me, baby. I'm ready for you."
He gives you one more peck, the slyest smirk playing on his lips as he watches you lean forward for another one, only to be met with nothing.
"Ass," you grumble, playfully shoving his chest.
He chuckles, a deep rumble of a sound as he sits back to remove his boxers. He's not even ashamed of the mess of precum that accumulated in them. If anything, he's surprised he was able to hold in his load this entire time. Pleasantly surprised, because every drop will go to you, as always.
One minute you're sitting up to fully remove your shirt, pulling it up over your head, the next, in what seems like a flash, you're pushed back onto the bed, hands pinned above your head.
You giggle, looking up at him with a lingering smile. "Gentle."
"Mhm," he hums, leaning down to kiss your neck. "So gentle." Two misleading words that don't prepare you for the sensation of his teeth sinking into the crook of your neck.
Your bubbly laughter homes into his ears when his tongue runs over the indentations, luring a huff of a laugh from him.
You feel his cock run through your slick folds, his hips moving back and forth, slowly. Quiet breaths fill the silence that takes over the intimate moment. Toji runs his length through your slit one more time, before finally pushing his tip in. You gasp, feeling his cock begin to drive into you.
"F-Fuck, baby, let me touch you."
"In a minute." He sounds so calm and collected, but you can feel the grip he has on your wrists tighten and the bluntness of his nails pressing into your skin.
"No. Please."
"In a minute," he repeats.
"Pretty please?"
"You're so conflicting, mama. Love that you're begging, but at the same time, you're not listening." His hips draw back and thrust right back into you, his cock filling you up entirely, again.
"Oh fuck. Okay. Please, Toji," you whine.
Toji hums dismissively and picks up a rhythm that manages to get you to stop thinking about your pinned wrists. He lures soft, little moans out of you, listening closely as he plants warm, wet kisses on the side of your face, from your temple to your jaw.
"Just let me be good to you, baby. Alright?"
You hum, nodding your head.
"Yes?"
"Please, yes."
His thrusts become even more precise as he focuses on bringing pleasure to both of you, deep groans and grunts blending together with your higher pitched moans. A few minutes pass and you feel the pressure on your arms ease up, your hands free to roam without restriction. The first thing you do is cup his jaw and bring him in for breathy kisses. You keep your hands on his face and he lets you turn his head in every which way to cover him with kisses. Your affection is intoxicating, and he can't get enough of it. He lets out a breathy laugh when you practically have a make out session with the scar on his lips, your melodic sounds of pleasure released against the strike as he continues to fuck into you. The last kiss you leave on the cicatrix is a big one. One that makes the obnoxious kissy sound and everything. He swipes his tongue over his scar, as if he's trying to catch remnants of the sugar you coated it with.
"Love you," you say, eyes darting over his handsome features and the lovestruck expression they create. You feel the way his hips stutter against you, his abs tensing with restraint before he recomposes himself. You glide your hands up and down his arms and repeat yourself for him. "Love you so much, Toji. I'm yours."
"Fuck— I fucking love you. You're all mine. My baby." He mutters more inaudible curses under his breath, his grip on your waist getting harsher and his thrusts growing quicker, with every sweet confirmation you offer. You whimper, nails digging into his biceps as you withstand the feeling of his cock relentlessly brushing that spot within you that makes you melt beneath him.
"Oh fuck, i'm close." He groans, feeling the way your walls spasm around him at the words. "Yeahhh, you want it, huh, baby? Want my cum?"
A shaky breath leaves you, your face observed up close and personal by Toji, through lust-brimmed, enamored, obsessed eyes. You squirm under all of him— his zoned in attention on you, his touch, his hot, tacky skin, his cock buried inside you—dragging in and out of your soft walls, in a manner that has your toes curling to the brink of actual pain. His fingers find your clit and rub it in rapid circular motions, causing your body to jolt at the sudden intensity of the enhanced pleasure.
You look up at him with your sparkling eyes. "Please... P-Please, Toji? I want it. Want you," you utter, as he brings you closer to your own orgasm.
"Fuck, okay. Okay, baby, gonna give it all to you." His hips pick up their pace a little more and he buries his face into your neck. You can hear the string of grunts and shuddered breaths that pair with his unraveling, right beneath your ear. Deep moans and pants flow past his lips, and his nails begin to leave crescent shapes on your sides. You feel his hot breath on your neck, the open mouthed puffs of air accompanied by the lewd sounds of him filling you with his warm, creamy cum. As he continues rutting into you, riding out every second of his orgasm and then some to get every last drop of his cum into you, he bites your delicate skin, the placement only a few centimeters above where he bit you the first time. He stays there for a few seconds, breathing heavily through his mouth and nose, before he loosens his bite, the gesture transitioning to sloppy kisses over the wet, saliva-coated indentations.
"Cum, doll," Toji mutters, feeling the way your cunt flutters around him when his fingers relocate your throbbing bundle of nerves. Your head sinks back into the pillow, allowing him to drag his kisses up the column of your neck, to feel the vibration of your sounds beneath his lips. Your nails go to his shoulders, dragging across the toned area of muscles, surely leaving behind some scratches. You cry out in utter bliss, your force of an orgasm echoing through your entire being. "There you go, mama," Toji purrs, in response to your body releasing the tension that came with the intensity of your pleasure. You tremble, your small, rapid whimpers and breaths evolving into full blown, unholy moans. "So, so pretty," he drawls out, engraving yet another one of your euphoric expressions into his memory. His fingers leave your clit, and his hips slow down to the point of merely grinding into you, to lure those final little whines out, before stilling entirely.
You shut your eyes to focus on calming your heaving chest for a few seconds, and when you open them again, you have the prettiest pair of green eyes staring down at you. You give Toji a lazy smile and a laugh, a sight that makes him feel warm and fuzzy inside. His heart races as he absorbs the visuals of your post-orgasm haze. Your luminous eyes devour him, that little satisfied smirk on your face is everything— god, he loves that you laugh even more at the way he can't stop staring at you.
Just like that, Toji is reminded of what got this sight revoked from him in the first place. He still doesn't feel like he's in the wrong for wanting to murder anyone who has far from just friendly intentions with you, but as you caress his face and hold his gaze with that tender look in your eyes, his desire to kill those who openly lust after you, becomes entirely justified in his mind. He's lost all reason to hold back. There's no longer any part of him that would feel remorse or guilt, even if you can't look him in the eyes for days after the matter. He'll grovel as much as he has to, to get you to give him your eyes, again. You'll just have to agree to disagree on this, because yes, you come home to him, you sleep in the same bed as him, you kiss and hold him, the body concealed by your clothes is a secret between you and him, you get tangled up in sheets with him and the lot of it— but he can't risk losing you to someone who's possibly better than him and searching for all the exact things you have to offer. You're for him, as he is for you.
Toji doesn't care how clingy he appears when you finish getting cleaned up and ready for bed. You carelessly toss yourself onto the mattress and pull the blanket over your body while you wait for Toji, who took the steps and walked around the bed to make it to his side. He finds your body beneath the covers and immediately rolls on top of you, adhering himself to you, again. His head rests on your chest, his arms wrapped tight around your body.
You're already prepared to give him the intimate aftercare that comes with days like this. You don't mind that he's heavy and that he's crushing you or that he's taking up all your space, again, after having been so close to you a little while ago. You'll do this as many times as you need to for him to understand that he's wanted and loved by you.
You press a kiss to the top of his head, and murmur a quiet 'love you'. Your fingers run through his damp hair, your nails gently scratching the back of his head, while your other hand rubs his back. You feel the extra warm skin of his shoulders, where you paid no mind to the pressure your nails applied on it, earlier.
"Does that hurt?" You ask, lightly tracing a couple of the mildly inflamed lines. He hums in denial, but you let up, anyway, and continue to just rub his back.
He groans quietly at your soothing touch, nuzzling further into you. "I'm yours, too, ma. All yours," he mumbles. "I don't want anyone else and I don't wanna see you with anyone else."
You smile softly at his admission. "You're more than enough for me, Toji. There's no one I want more than you— no, there's no one I want other than you," you correct. "You know how much I love you?"
"Mm... How much?" He asks, waiting for you to give him a number or even just an elongated 'so much', but instead, you surprise him with:
"I wouldn't be able to tell you."
He chuckles. "Really?"
"Yeah, really. If you want something accurate, I'll never shut up."
"Good thing I like when you talk my ear off. You wanna give me an inaccurate idea of how much?"
You hum like you're in thought, a giggle following when he pinches your waist, encouraging you to tell him. "I love you a lot, Toji. So much more than I will ever be able to say or show. We would have to conjoin our minds for you to understand exactly how much I love you, but even then, once our minds separate, your estimate will be entirely off again."
He lifts his head off your chest, and waits for his eyes to adjust to the darkness of the room. The moonlight seeping through the spaces between the curtains is the only source of light that allows him to get a mediocre view of you. "That's inaccurate?" He asks, looking at you with clear disbelief when his eyes finally adjust. You nod, smiling through the warmth that spread on your cheeks. "Now, I wanna know how much you love me, with complete accuracy. I have all the time in the world to listen to you, baby. Just keep talking to me." He presses a kiss to your cheek before lying back down on your chest and wrapping his arms around you, again.
You hugged him as tight as you could for a few seconds. The sound of you straining yourself made him laugh, because not only did he not let out a single groan, but you tired yourself out even more. You rested your arms on his back and just shut your eyes. It was the warmth and weight of his body on you, the feeling of his arms keeping you firmly against him, the security, that managed to lull you to sleep. Toji dozing off was simpler than that, because all he needs to be able to sleep soundly, is for you to be around.
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