#and do my stare at the ceiling and think about shit routine that takes 40x longer to work
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fucked up that i got so used to my lull myself to sleep process that it doesn’t really work anymore
#for a little while i could put on a podcast and be out in like 20mins#and i was SO excited like I CRACKED THE CODE#and now ive been doing that for a few years :/ and its taking more and more time#i listen to mbmbam usually#bc its not a storyline based one that i HAVE to follow along to understand stuff#and if i try to listen to something i find boring it Will Not Work bc i just zone out as if its not on#and do my stare at the ceiling and think about shit routine that takes 40x longer to work#so its right in the sweet spot of engaging enough that i’ll listen to it and varied enough that i wont force myself to hear what’s coming up#but now its not working anymore and i WANT TO SCREAMMMMMM#for reference idk how long you guys take to fall asleep but it used to take me hoursssss every night#so 20 mins is INSANE and i want her back :(#personal
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